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an-aura-about-you · 3 months

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cracking open a room temperature one (Handbook for Mortals chapter 1) with the boys

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade, who insists on having a nickname that doesn't sound like her name, had just left home after some vague thing her mother did. it's implied that she used magic to keep her stuck in her one horse town, but it's never outright stated and I doubt it will be at this point. it's wild because it honestly doesn't take much for me to side with a kid against their parent in a fictional argument, but you're giving me nothing to work with so I don't honestly know if Dela even did anything that bad.

also I'm upset that Dad is apparently on just the right wavelength to hear the name Zade and guess that it was similar to Scheherazade. but maybe that's one of those parent things like when good ol' Strong Bad told us that a garage sale is more like a garbage sale and made them rhyme. so congrats, you have reached your target audience of nearly 70 year old dads who do things like doing a little dance when they try on a comfy pair of shorts at the store.

anyway, on to Chapter 1: The Magician

-Zade is doing her audition in front of the entire theater company of nearly 200 people. this is ridiculous both in real life and in the story. like isn't that equal to about 2/3rds of the population of the town where she just left? why waste their time when you probably only need to audition in front of like 3-4 people?

-I don't know why Sarem feels the need to explain what show blacks are. I'd be surprised if someone reading this book hasn't seen a piece of media that shows the backstage crew all in black. I guess it kind of works because she takes the time to talk about how she thinks dudes in show blacks are sexy? but like, we know that black clothes are sexy. that's why the concept of the Little Black Dress exists.

-"Most of the performers looked bored." which means you're really making a great first impression. her audition hasn't started yet, but she's already getting off on the wrong foot with her potential coworkers by dragging them to see this when it's clear they'd rather be somewhere else, like getting ready for their next show since a number of them are in full costume.

-the boss of this thing is the "infamous" Charles Spellman, which means it's time to get into word choice! this isn't exactly a wrong word to use here, but I think it has different connotations than what Sarem was going for in this scene. it's kind of like when I watched like half of the opera Doctor Atomic and a song chose to use the word "odor" when talking about a pleasant smell. it's my understanding it was based on a real poem, but odor typically DOESN'T convey a pleasant smell, and I probably would have chosen "scent" or "aroma" instead had it been me. likewise, unless we're talking about Spellman's penchant to date girls his daughter's age, then there's not really anything infamous about him.

-speaking of, we've got a dude named Spellman and his daughter isn't named Sabrina, but it occurred to me tonight that it WOULD have been hella cool and still a subtle reference to Sabrina the Teenage Witch had she been named Zelda. I might just pretend we're reading about Zelda Holder for the rest of this book.

-in the very next paragraph after calling him infamous we're told Spellman is well respected. so which is it?

-the theater is in the round with stadium seating. (she doesn't say stadium seating, she spends like half a page describing stadium seating instead of just calling it stadium seating.) we're keeping this detail in mind for whinging purposes later.

-ok, Zade is talking about how she doesn't know much about her father during the book's introduction to Spellman. HOW was him being her father supposed to be a twist?? there's a difference between planting clues to your twist and just spelling it out for the reader. but then, considering Sarem has been spelling everything else out, I'm surprised I'm not seeing dashes between the letters.

-this girl on Spellman's arm, Sofia, is the Designated Mean Girl, and I'm gonna take a moment to do what Sarem SHOULD have done and think about her like she's a person for a second.

Because here's the thing about writing, guys:

Your characters are not people; they are tools.

Your characters are most successful when they APPEAR to be people instead of tools.

All of the characters you write are you. Yes, you. Not just your designated self-insert. ALL of them. Even the characters that might be based on someone else since they're still going through the filter of your perception of them.

so let's take a look at Sofia with some information that we're going to learn about her later. we know almost immediately in the book that she's Spellman's girlfriend. (she's about to tell it to Zade "coldly and mean even") and if you know how this book ends, she and Spellman will be broken up sometime before the ending because *spoilers* Spellman is gonna marry (possibly remarry?) Zade's mother Dela. this means their relationship is possibly on the rocks at this point. we're also going to learn smartphones exist in this world. considering Sarem's lack of creativity thus far, I wouldn't be surprised if that includes Facebook and thus has info on Spellman's past hookups. also, when Spellman talks to Zade, he doesn't mention being pleased to meet her or anything. he already knows her, and she knew enough to set up this weird ass audition with him.

if I were Sofia, I would be thinking one of three things:

I would think this girl wants my spot considering my boyfriend is respected as a magician but otherwise "infamous" so it's likely known he likes them young.

I would (incorrectly) assume this is Dela and/or another ex and that Spellman is going to leave me for her.

I would (correctly) assume this is Spellman's daughter and she's about to give me shit for banging her dad.

also, there's a scene later in the book when Sofia talks about paying her dues to be in the show. if she and Spellman are close to splitsville, then her illusion is in the show by merit of her actual talent. even if I was banging the boss, I'd be pissed if his kid showed up expecting a position out of pure nepotism when I had rightfully earned my spot initially. all things considered, I would probably be kind of cold in my greeting to her, too, especially since Zade straight up forgets about Sofia by the end of the page. if Zade can't be bothered with Sofia, why should Sofia bother with her?

-Zade is all self-conscious about everybody sizing her up before her audition but like. what do you think happens at an audition? they are literally here to judge you???

-let's just pause the book for several paragraphs while we introduce you to every fucking person who works in this show. because that's a worthwhile use of pages and ink.

-I know from later information that the dude Zeb who's looking at Zade like he's not happy she's here also knows real actual magic. and like, yeah, I'd be pissed off if I had a magic show in Vegas and worked very hard to conceal my true magic ability while still making it work in the show only for this rando from bumfuck, nowhere to come along and just blatantly do magic in front of fucking everyone in the company.

-this probably would have been a good setup if Zade was supposed to be unlikable but I honestly don't think Sarem would have the ability to write an intentionally unlikable protagonist if she wanted to. and considering she literally confirmed Zade is her self-insert mary sue, I doubt she's supposed to be unlikable. though this also leads to the story problem a lot of mary sue stories have: if the protagonist is already perfect, then where is her character arc going to go? (the answer is nowhere.)

-"I do hope you can get this going soon; we all have other things we need to do." wow Zeb really is a magician you guys! he was able to read my mind!

-oh my god everyone is ignoring Zade. I love this.

-oh this is rich, saying the way Trig spoke to her could have sounded very condescending, Miss "Let Me Devote Paragraphs Of This Book Explaining Show Blacks And Stadium Seating."

-Zade takes the time to tell us it bothers her when people say her name wrong like "Zaad" which just makes me wonder how the hell Sarem thinks Scheherazade is pronounced. like, after reading this I tried doing this with my own name since it could be parsed like that, going from Auralie (rhymes with bee) to Lie (rhymes with eye) and I'm just distracted by how wrong it sounds. I'm convinced that Sarem thinks (or thought, idk if she's heard anyone say the name since publishing the book) Scheherazade rhymes with jade because I can't imagine being called Scheherazade, hearing it pronounced correctly by my mother all 25ish years of my life, and then not being bothered if someone said ANY part of it wrong.

-Mac the technical director is very upset that he hasn't been able to do a safety check on Zade's setup for her trick. and yeah, bro is right. I don't care that Zade signed a waiver, this is still one hell of a liability for the entire company because we don't know if or how any of the other acts will be affected by this.

-Zeb is playing on his phone during Zade's audition. clearly he's the most relatable character in the book so far.

-Zade meets a guy that she claims is too attractive for her to date because she wants to be the prettier one in the relationship. this is the first of many of the little things Sarem will sprinkle into the narrative that indicates Zade is not interested in any actual partnerships but instead wants others the way one wants objects.

-I notice that Charles calls Zade's act a "jump" but Zade thinks of it as an "illusion." calling it a jump is the more fitting description. what she does is she uses her Actual Real Magic to turn the stage into some kinda fiery transportation liquid for her to dive into only to reemerge from the nearby pool. she throws a rose down as proof that the stage is solid, but I mean. anyone who comes to see this trick will go, "Oh! There must be some hidden pool for her to dive into and the rose landed on the only solid bit!" like, I used to really REALLY like magic shows as a kid, and if you watch them long enough, you start picking up on some of the sleight of hand they use, start noticing some of the things they do to try drawing your attention away from the mechanics of the trick. the trick as presented is only truly impressive because of its high dive nature even with the magic.

-wow, Zade even points out that a regular audience would think "trapdoor," meaning once again that the magic part of this is pointless since the high dive is the only part a regular audience would find impressive.

-immediately after the trick, Zade throws her rose to Sofia, winks at her, and says, "For the pretty lady." once again putting myself in Sofia's shoes, this is the moment Zade makes it personal, the moment Zade throws down the gauntlet. this would erase any lingering doubts in my mind. as far as I would be concerned, Zade specifically came here with the goal of ousting me from my position in the show and just straight up challenged me for it in front of literally ALL of my coworkers AND my boyfriend. the absolute fucking nerve of her.

-Sofia gives her a fake smile upon receiving the rose. I'm amazed she had the strength to do that because holy shit Zade that wasn't just a bitch move it was a bitch samba.

-"I was starting to realize it was going to be harder to keep our secret from everyone." YOU MEAN YOUR MAGIC? THE MAGIC YOU JUST POINTLESSLY USED FOR YOUR HIGH DIVE ACT? THAT MAGIC? THE SECRET MAGIC THAT YOU JUST SHOWED 200 PEOPLE? IS THAT THE THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRET?

-Spellman's assistant Beth tells Zade that the offer in her contract is the biggest she's ever seen Spellman offer. this is just beyond insulting. girl walks into her daddy's theater like she owns the place, does a high dive with some pointless magic sparkles, and then Daddy gives her allllll the money.

in an interview Sarem did for Vulture, she says that she wrote the story so her self-insert could have all the things she wanted. so, what, Sarem wants her dad to give her some money? if the idea is that Zade earned it, that doesn't hold up no matter how you look at it. with the twist built in that Spellman is Zade's father, it's gonna reek of nepotism upon reread no matter what. but let's look at it without that, and let's take a moment to look at Sofia again.

if I had to pick the dynamic I THINK Sarem was going for with Zade and Sofia, then it's probably Elle and Vivian from Legally Blonde. (not that I think Sarem would watch Legally Blonde, but that doesn't mean the example isn't fitting.) Vivian doesn't take Elle seriously and initially tries to humiliate her but eventually comes to respect Elle the longer they know each other and genuinely befriends her. but it's important to point out that the reason Vivian develops that respect for Elle is because:

she sees all the hard work Elle does to actually earn her position on the legal team

Elle is a genuinely kind person who works to uplift others even if they didn't start on such great terms (more on how Zade treats other people especially women later)

Zade is like if Elle showed up to Harvard Law with the necklace from Ace Attorney that's haunted by the Ghost of Lawyers Past that gives her all the legal information she needs to win the case and bigger boobs. that's just the magic equivalent of what Warner did buying his way in.

long story short, the work Sofia puts in to her prestidigitation act is more impressive than Zade's magic, and Zade getting a position in the show is an insult to that hard work.

ugh, and that was only the end of chapter 1.

#aura reads handbook for mortals

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melodyschaos · 2 years

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😍😍😍

I read the last polyweb, I want to order more of this scrubdilishys meal (specifically the reader talking about trauma like it's normal) of course, only if you want to and have time THANK YOU!!

TW: Trauma Discussions (Light to Medium), Some Angst, Gore Mention, Mention of Parental Abuse, Death Mention A/N: I am so glad you guys love the Sapphire Polyweb! I hope this becomes like The Thing for my blog I would love that- anyways we're trying color fonts now I'm feelin' creative

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another day, another sleepover in Y/N's house. Things had gone better than expected, Huntsman hadn't even bitten Syntax, even when he got hit with three red shells in a row during Mario Kart! Everyone had changed into their sleep-wear (which was very weird to see the Mayor in, though he only wore a very basic set of dark blue flannel pajamas. They were all stuck in that space where they ought to be sleeping but were talking instead. Syntax had lifted his phone to check something but let out a disgruntled huff before shoving it back in his pant pocket. Y/N rolled over from their spot on the floor of their massive pillow fort and asked what's wrong.

"Father's Day approaches and annoying e-mails are barraging me about buying a set of tools. If I had a father I am certain he would not care for a tool belt."

Y/N rolled on their stomach and propped themselves up on an elbow. "What do you mean? Don't...you don't know your dad?"

In the darkness Syntax sighed. "Let me put it in simple terms: as far as anyone in the world is concerned, I am an orphan, for I have no worthy father."

He felt Y/N's hand slip into his own. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's a thing of the past. I prefer to try and forget, but...it's rather difficult during the holidays."

They sat there holding hands before Y/N spoke again to the oddly quiet others, "Hey...come to think of it, Hunter, Goliath, Queenie, do you guys have moms or dads?"

The Spider Queen answered first after a sizeable silence. "Let's just say a Queen has no need for parents. I had sisters, though. Seven. But...let's just say they went the way of the birds."

"What?? I never heard about this, Queenie, why didn't you tell me?" Y/N was sitting up now and had turned on the lamp that had been placed in the floor of the fort.

The Spider Queen looked oddly grim-faced. Her silky black hair was down, and she wore a rather fancy black nightrobe over a long nightgown. "I don't like talkin' about it."

"Wait-" Now Goliath was sitting up (though he was hunched a bit so as not to disrupt the blanket roof of the fort. "My Queen, if you have sisters, why aren't they here?"

Huntsman was up now too, though he used a fist to hit the side of Goliath's arm. It obviously didn't hurt him but the intent was still there. "She just said she doesn't like talking about it, pea brain."

Ignoring the bickering, Y/N released Syntax's hand and scooted over to the Queen. "You can tell me, Queenie, if you want to."

The Spider Queen looked even more uncomfortable as she glanced at her three spider underlings. Owing to her pride, she never liked feeling vulnerable normally...but she exhaled through her nose. "Just this once. When I was a spiderling I was the youngest of my sisters. Born the last. I wanted to go out there, to make somethin' of myself instead of sittin' around trappin' random passerby. So one day when I was sixteen I packed up a few things and set out to get real-world experience. A few years passed, and I was gainin' myself some new infernal powers. I'd even begun to further transform." She gestured to her purple skin and green eyes. The Queen looked distressed as if she didn't want to continue...

But in an surprising move, Huntsman went to sit next to her and took one of her hands. He wasn't looking at her as if wanting to let her have the privacy of tears threatening to spill over her lime eyes. The gentle move from her most rambunctious subject seemed to help as the Queen continued, "I...I came home to find them all...pulverized. I- I couldn't tell which was which-" Here she stopped, covering her face with her free hand, allowing a few sobs to escape.

Syntax had fully sat up now. He and Goliath looked at each other, at a loss until Y/N moved to hug their Queen, placing their arms around her shoulders. Slowly, Goliath moved behind the Queen to gently hug her as well. Syntax made his way over to her unoccupied side. Emotions were never his strong suit, much less comforting someone with such a heavy subject. After hesitating, he put his hand on the Queen's shoulder.

After a few minutes she took a deep breath and lifted her head, clearing away the tears. She reached out her arms to hug both Syntax and Huntsman to her sides and rested her head back on Goliath's massive chest as a pillow. They sat there, comforting one another in an odd way.

They all jumped a mile when the Mayor suddenly lifted the blanket that hung over the fort's entrance. No one had heard him arrive, but this time his ever-present smile seemed more...sympathetic, somehow. He crawled in and set down a box of soft brownies. "I did not want to interrupt, but something told me we could use these."

With nerves calmed, the group eventually dug in. It occurred to Y/N to ask Goliath and Huntsman about their fathers, but Huntsman only shrugged and said, "Technically Syntax is our father. He used the Queen's venom and artificial masculine DNA to basically speed-grow us. Kinda like plants."

Goliath, who had five brownies in one large hand, huffed. "He won't let me call him dad, though."

Syntax scowled at him. "That is because I am not your father, if I were I would have had to use my own DNA. Since I did not I prefer to think of myself as your manufacturer or engineer."

Huntsman let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Doofus"

Anticipating the question, the Mayor spoke to Y/N as they turned their head to him. "A decent enough man as fathers go, and my mother as well. We were never too close, but we were happy. Now then..." He stood and began gathering the garbage to throw out. "As it is well past 3 AM I suggest we all head to sleep."

When he returned, the light was out and everyone was curled up together this time with the Spider Queen in the center, as if she were the center of their spider web of cuddles. There was an odd feeling as they all dozed off...a renewed closeness born from revealing (even if only by mention) secret pains of the heart and being met with comfort and companionship.

#tw trauma #lmk #legomonkiekid #lmk sapphire polyweb x reader #lmk sapphire polyweb #lmk x reader #lmk x reader polygamous #lmk spider queen x reader #lmk huntsman x reader #lmk syntax x reader #lmk goliath x reader #lmk mayor x reader #tw angst #tw gore mention #tw death mention #tw parental abuse

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wynharper · 1 year

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Hi, besties!

So, over on my main page I've kept saying 'surprises are coming soon' and I know it's late on a Sunday here on the east coast of the USA but I know it's still light out on the west coast, my European besties will be waking up soon and my Australasia besties are already in tomorrow. I also know it's a holiday here in the US this weekend but that's not the case everywhere and I'm not too afraid to continue reblogging my own things.

Last year, I started writing this story called Flash in the Pan. It's a summer romance between a single dad and his young nanny. Due to some.... fun brain things, I had to walk away from this project but I was never done with it.

In fact, when I started to get better, I started to think of Tilly (and Nathan) again and how much their story means to me and how important it is for me to write a rather extreme age gap romance that is a lot about safety and mutual respect and understanding of power dynamics. The kind of age gap relationship I have and have not experienced in turn, essentially. But in thinking about them and rereading what I'd written so far I just realized that.... some things needed to change for me to be able to tell Tilly's story to an audience the way I wanted to and the way that would do what was in my head justice and I just didn't think I could achieve that with what was already on the page so I've been rewriting some things.

Behind the cut because this is a long post, my beloveds!

The first key difference in this rewrite of Flash in the Pan is that Tilly is slightly older. She's still nineteen but she's nineteen going on twenty and, in this version, she is in college instead of having just finished high school. Like I said, there was a lot that I was thinking about and one of the things that I was thinking about was Tilly's search for independence and wanting to be seen as an adult and that's definitely something I've been drawing from my own experiences about. And while I was drawing from my own experiences about seeing an older guy when I was freshly nineteen and freshly graduated from high school, I wasn't feeling like that was exactly something I could fully use as a playing ground for the growth I wanted Tilly to also experience from this relationship with Nathan. I want her to be at a point of transition in her life but I believe that I can achieve that still (and maybe even a lot better) with this difference.

And, honestly, from a marketing standpoint of this story, I'm aware that while I may be drawing inspiration off of a lot of my own experiences, the situation I was in is one of those situations where even just the mention of extreme age gap is a hard no boundary for some people. I expect that there will still be some hard no boundary on that and I respect that. At the end of the day, I write for me but I also want anybody who wants to read this to feel as safe as possible consuming these words.

Another really big difference here is that I'm not taking the best friend away in this version but I am changing the nature of their relationship. I like Tilly and Nina's flirtatious nature with each other, I like their obvious attraction to one another. I like that this is a person that Tilly has always, without a doubt, felt safe with. Safe to talk to, safe to explore things with. And I'm not saying I'm taking that away but I am going to dial it back. Tilly is not going to be as experienced in this version as she was in the first, especially not with Nina.

The reason I have decided to dial back that aspect of their relationship is because I started it with the goal of safety, I started it with the goal of showing that Tilly is really only comfortable talking about her sexuality with people who make her feel safe. However, there was such a gap between the episodes and after I got sick and didn't write for a long time, I came back and I read it and I read my notes and I thought, "I don't have the energy to do what I want to do for this." If I don't have the energy to do what I want to do for that plot line, that means I will not do it justice. At no point do I want that aspect of her relationship with Nina to come off fetishistic of WLW relationships and if I don't believe that I can do it justice then, for me, it is inherently fetishistic and that's unacceptable to me. Because there's already so much media that horribly portrays WLW relationships or curiosity in sexuality and I do not wish, after years of being harmed by that kind of media as a consumer, to contribute to the very problem and continue the cycle.

So, I'll be relaunching Flash in the Pan via both Kindle Vella and via Patreon. The reason I'm going to upkeep on Vella is because I know there are people who prefer that platform and it also exposes me to possible new readers! But for all my non-US friends who have been telling me for months that they want to read it and it's not accessible because of the platform and for my friends who have told me they don't like how Vella is set up, I'm going the route of Patreon. More to come soon on that and thank you for wanting to read about these people I made up falling in love or something like it.

#writers of tumblr #writeblr #flash in the pan #anyway

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bropunzeling · 11 months

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director's cut of your choice of scenes from the elopement timestamp :)))))

hello from the airport :)))) here is matthew and brady's conversation aka a secret fave scene of mine:

"Dude, you're so wound up," Brady says as they go through a bucket of pucks at Centene. The ring of the posts and their muffled curses fill the rafters. "Are you stressed about something? What is there to even stress about?" [this scene had two goals. one was more sibling/ratfam content (since its very lacking from the original works for obvious reasons) and the other was to get to the point at the end of the conversation. i decided that brady needed to be the guy because (1) i like writing him (2) matthew would actually open up to him and (3) because he's already been married for a couple years/is gonna be a dad/etc etc it adds this nice, your sibling is further along than you (helpful, rather than anxiety provoking)]

Matthew’s shot goes off the post and rolls away. He curses. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh." Instead of grabbing a new puck, Brady leans on his stick. "Try me." [matthew has not acted like this since the summer of 2022 and brady is not stupid]

Matthew takes another shot, straightens up. Brady’s still looking at him, flat and even. God, he’s not gonna move, is he.

Giving up, Matthew checks the rink—safe, Leon went off to hit the bike five minutes ago and no one else is around [one of my editing points was reminding myself of the secrecy! like obvs they are not as horribly repressed and not telling anyone anything as they were in meet me halfway, but like, leon's reputation matters to both of them and neither want to test and see what would happen if it came out that they were dating. theyre admittedly sloppy, but it’s still a thing they think about]—and then says, in a low voice, "I asked Leon if she'd ever want to, uh. To marry me."

Brady sucks in a breath. "You proposed?"

Matthew shakes his head vigorously. "No. No. [i mean, you kinda did.] I didn't mean now, I meant in the future. Someday. You know."

"Sounds like you proposed,” Brady says, much too loudly. The whole building might have heard him.

"I didn't," Matthew insists. "All I wanted was for her to think about it, you know? I wasn't going to—to spring anything on her." [me on my relationship soapbox like SURPRISE PROPOSALS ARE SHITTY AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT IT FIRST] He clutches at his stick. "Just—I wanted her to know that I was serious, and see if she'd also want that, and now it's been like four days, and she hasn't said anything, and I kind of think I fucked something up. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. What if I scared her off?"

"Dude. Breathe." Brady's infuriatingly calm. [the contrast between brady's general inflappability and matthew's anxiety is always funny to me.] Matthew glares at him. "I doubt you fucked anything up."

"You don't know that.”

Brady shrugs. "Okay, no, I don't know for sure, but like—you can't really think you scared her off."

"It's happened before," Matthew mumbles. [obvi like -- they are pretty good and over the events of The Battle of Alberta, Playoffs Edition; it's been years. however, that won't stop matthew from being anxious! last time he thought they were on the verge of a relationship upgrade leon ghosted him! he doesnt want that to happen again] He doesn't want to stand here while Brady looks at him with that calm, know-it-all expression. Maybe he'll go collect some pucks. He heads towards the goal.

Skates scrape behind him. "Matt." When Matthew looks over his shoulder, Brady’s trailing behind him with the bucket. "She’s stupid in love with you." [one of the fun things about this time stamp, along with everything, was finally getting to let this version of leon be stupid and romantic and overcome by her own feelings. she's soooooo gone.] At Matthew’s glare, Brady rolls his eyes. "I was there when she showed up last summer, remember? I think I'd know." [another fun thing was dropping bits of Lore that im not sure will ever become a proper cleaned up ao3 time stamp, and this was a big one i wanted to hit!!!]

Matthew bends down and grabs a few pucks out of the crease. He hadn't actually been awake when Leon had shown up in Florida last summer; he hadn't been expecting her. They had agreed, after the Oilers got knocked out, that she'd wait to come out until after the playoffs were over. She had to close up her house; debrief the season with Connor. And—they'd fought about it, over the phone, more yelling than there had been in a long time, but Leon had asked how he'd feel if he was there watching from the sidelines while she won the Cup without him. If he'd really be all that happy for her. [it was important to me to hit this because obvi we see the opposite in meet me halfway - matthew checking in and gone even when leon beat his team - but crucially they never did get to this point, and im not sure matthew ever thought through what it would look like if leon HAD made it that far. mr hiding in the garage when the cup was at his house probably wouldn't have handled it well! and like - even if they are in love and in a relationship, they are still the same fundamental people who are competitive and desperate to win and hate to see other people get what they want. so of course they fought.] [obvi my solution to this tension is in 5 or so years they play on the same team, win cup, put baby in cup.]

She'd apologized the next day, but she'd made her point, too. When she booked her flights for late June, he hadn't argued.

Then his sternum got cracked. Mom and Dad had to drive him home from the rink and help him out of his own clothes. And when he woke up after a miserable night, it was to find Leon asleep sitting up on the bed next to him, holding his hand like it was a lifeline. It wasn't until later that he'd gotten the details out of Mom—how Leon had shown up at two in the morning, exhausted and incoherent and making a beeline right for his bedroom. How she wouldn't leave, even when Mom tried to insist she go find an actual bed and get some sleep. [(a) she was doing so bad. (b) this is absolutely the tipping point for matthew's people to be like oh shit this is a big deal thing, as you can see with the below]

Matthew had spent the next few days thinking mostly about how much his chest hurt and how badly the team was playing, but he also noticed the way Brady and Leon had quietly teamed up—to get him out of bed, to get him dressed, to get him to the arena. [there is a whole unrealized scene in my head of them watching matthew suffer during game 4 on the couch and both are like, quietly so fucking stressed out for him, and it’s this little moment of quiet bonding and acceptance where its like you love him, i love him, we both wish he wasn't on the ice right now] Once he got past the self-pity, he’d found it pretty funny. However Brady had felt about Leon before—and Matthew was pretty sure that feeling wasn't acceptance, no matter how much Brady tried to hide it [brady really did not like leon after the Events of rob thomas' party. as soon as he connected the dots that girl matthew has been moping over for months = leon draisaitl, leon was fully on his shit list. he definitely headhunted her that whole next season]—apparently Matthew breaking himself could smooth over almost anything.

"Listen," Brady says now, leaning against the net and holding out the bucket for Matthew to dump pucks into. "Do I think she was a dick when she ghosted you? Yeah. But she's fucking crazy about you now. You can't miss it."

Matthew drops a handful of pucks into the bucket with a clunk, then heads for the boards. "Okay, but like—she hasn't said anything," he says. "What if she doesn't want to?"

"What? Get married?"

Matthew nods. [crux of the scene!】

Brady skids to a stop by the boards. "I don't know, man. I mean, maybe she doesn't because she thinks it's too soon. Or maybe it's not that big a deal to her. Half the guys from Europe do the whole, you know. The partner thing." [matthew: spiraling. brady: repository of reasonable takes] He shrugs. "I guess the question is, if she wants to be with you, but doesn't want to marry you, are you gonna be okay with that?" [and here we go! so like, a Big Theme of meet me halfway/the girl!leon cinematic universe (gcu) is like, dealing with expectations and hangup and how you pictured your life going vs how it's actually going vs how you actually want it to go. and obviously for most of it this is leon's journey - reconciling hockey and a personal life, understanding that she doesn't have to shut out friends or family or the potential for partnership in order to have a career, that it won't make her lesser or softer, that it’s okay to be soft in the first place.

but. BUT. it's very important to me that matthew is ALSO going through this reexamination of his own expectations. his picture of life was not so subtly based on his parents and structured in a very particular way. and falling for another hockey player who wouldn't be staying home, who would push and challenge him and be her own independent person, naturally upends some of those comfortable images he had of his future. and this is just one more instance of him needing to look at what he imagined for himself and changing the picture to fit not what he thought he would get, but what will actually work for him and leon, what they actually want together. and here and in the next scene is when it hits that its not about the trappings but about the knowing. he doesn't want leon to push him away, he wants to know that theyre going to be doing this together, but that doesn't mean they have to do things the way everyone else does, either.]

Matthew chews the inside of his cheek. Would he be? It's hard to know. For so long, he's had that little picture of what his future looked like. Even as it changed, that part—being married, that sense of permanency—it’s always been there. He doesn't know how he'd feel if it were gone. [again the permanency is the thing. obviously i am like, in the middle of my own feelings about all this, but really it is like: you're here with me, im with you. even when we're annoying or stressed out or tired or miserable or caught covid on our romantic vacation when you were gonna propose. you're with me and i'm with you and it's gonna be for the long haul.]

"Just something to think about," Brady says after a moment. He claps Matthew on the shoulder. "But for what it's worth, I think she's pretty fucking serious about you."

Matthew hip checks him back. Brady doesn't move, the fucker. "When did you get so smart, asshole?"

Brady laughs. "Who says I haven't always been this smart?"

"You were a fucking idiot when you were thirteen," Matthew retorts.

Brady shoves him into the boards, the bucket of pucks clattering to the ice. "You really gonna bring up teen shit? Because I remember—" [brothers!]

Things go a little haywire after that, first chasing each other and then all the loose pucks scattered across the rink. By the time they've collected everything, they're both laughing hard enough that they can't catch a breath.

"Hey," someone shouts. Leon's leaning on the boards, wet hair sticking to her head and the nape of her neck. "Are we gonna go soon? I'm starving." [relatable]

"Yeah," Matthew calls back, making his way towards her. "We're done, I think."

When he makes it over the boards, Leon’s already reaching out, one hand fisting in his jacket. She yanks him closer, kissing him, then pulls back and says, "Go shower. You stink." [they would be so much better at keeping their secret relationship secret if they didn't want to make out and or fuck whenever they're within five feet of each other. alas]

"Uh-huh," Matthew says, ducking back in to kiss her again, just to see if her nose will wrinkle. It does. [gross!!!! and!!! in love!!!]

"Shower," Leon repeats, slapping his chest and shoving him towards the door. "Hey, Brady. You coming to lunch?"

Matthew misses whatever Brady says to her, but he doesn't miss when Brady comes into the locker room and snaps a towel at him. "Told you," Brady says in a low voice. Almost subtle, for him. "Crazy about you." [rip to brady, who has to witness god's most embarrassing pda every day of his summer and then deal with his older brother thinking that his girlfriend doesn't love him]

Matthew busies himself with his towel. His cheeks are warm.

#ask meme #girl!leon wip :)#ty for indulging me pls continue to indulge me

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isca-tide · 1 month

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6x02 Last one for the night. Here we go.

Heh. This should still be Zaddy Cop and about Tim, but I do love this song. It's insanely catchy. Yes Celina, dance girl! Eh, you know, Bailey and Nolan have grown on me. I still don't like when they take up so much time in episodes all the time, every now and then is fine, but it is what it is. God, Grey and Luna are the cutest. Department mum and dad will always save the day. Oh Aaron, baby.

Tim honey no, you need to talk. I do get it though. They're both deflecting and frustrated and it's so much easier to talk about things in the future instead of the now. And just keep putting off that future for the next future. Tim and Lucy I love you deeply and you work together so well, but your personal communication issues really need some work. Lady, get your dog to the vet right away. Why would you even wait?! Ugh. Monica. I can't even appreciate Oscar anymore because of Monica. Oh Lucy. Her coffee tumbler really is a little support blanket for her. Someone hug her, please. Angela, honey. You are in the line of fire, stay safe. But also please work your magic and get them back together in S7. Or help them in S7. They need to work on themselves to get back together, but please. Work that magic. Because the writers dropped the ball on your supportive nature in S6 and I need it back thank you. Just clinging to the little moments where they smile at each other or she touches his arm and he touches her back. Drinking raindrops off of petals in the desert. The gifsets are right. Tim was never going to let Lucy fight The Hammer. But I do love the teasing. The little 'you got this'. And how she gets so concerned as the fight progresses. She's mad at him but no-one hurts her man. I mean, in reality both these men are severely injured at this point, but reality is dull. Ugh. Writers why would you do this very obvious thing to us only to have them break up a few episodes later? You better give us the real deal in S7 I swear to god. I want a proposal by then end of S7. I mean maybe S8 would be more natural progression for a slow burn back together, but I'm not sure I can wait for S8. I think they're safe from cancellation, so we don't have to worry about the show getting cancelled before we get proper resolution, but still. I'd just rather it sooner. You never know what might happen down the line. I do love Chastity, I have to say. Pete is always a bit eh for me, but Chastity has grown on me so much.

Tim, you're pretty much spot on. And Chastity, so insightful. It's absoltuely true that Tim does have an issue with it, but yeah. Ugh, I just really needed Lucy to acknowledge she's scared and deflecting. Maybe in S7 I guess. Her cute little smile though when she's off the call from Tim. Mad or not, she loves her man deeply. Nyla's 'run'. But also Nyla's accidental foreshadowing, since Lucy is severely lacking a support system outside of Tim. I mean she isn't, the writers just really dropped the ball and made it look like she did. Oh his soft smile, his soft eyes. Just for her. Also my god, she knows exactly what she's doing to him when she gets in so close. God they're so tactile with each other. So the bug question is a baseline, she already knows the answer and this just confirms it properly. I think the same is true for the love question. I don't think this is the first time he's said it to her, because she's not surprised or giddy or overjoyed. She looks at the monitor to confirm what she already knows, because he's said it before. I wish we'd seen it before but nothing can convince me otherwise unless they say it in canon. And then they're wrong. It's a cute moment, I love it, but no way these two haven't said this before. If it was the first time she would 100% say it back then and there. Like in S5, knowing and being okay are two different things. I think if she'd asked if he supported her being a UC then it might have come back as true. But wanting and supporting are two different things. I mean lie detectors are nonsense anyway but in the universe of the show, we'll trust it. But he supports her. Even if he wishes he didn't. But having been through what he has, seen what he has? Why would he want that life for her? For him? He's so shocked. He was so sure. I'm glad it helps him confront the fact he's been forcing his real feelings down, but I wish we'd had a reversal for Lucy too. Her using the lie detector, realising she's deflecting, and she's a lot more unsure of UC than she realised. Wesley and James, you sweetpeas. I wish I could just wear a suit. Them not turning up together hurts so much though. I like to think maybe she got there early to help out with preparations. She's obviouly a little bit miffed but I want to think they always planned to go separately anyway. Luna, absolute angel. Lucy next to her bff James. I'm kidding but I really want more of Lucy and Wesley and James. I think they'd be an adorable trio. You really couldn't give us a hand hold or something, show? Leaning against his shoulder during the vows? A little glance? Nothing? Cruel. Just cruel. Eh, the vows themselves are a little. Eh. I'm just going to say it. Maybe if I was more into Bailan I'd find it cuter but it's just...ya know. It'll be nothing compared to the Chenford wedding, which we're absolutely getting. Where's Henry's wife btw? Did they mention? Or maybe they're not married yet but still. Guess they couldn't get the actress back for this episode. Tim go and dance with your wife! Also their little smiles for each other across the dancefloor. Celina and Aaron our new co-captains checking in on our ship. Oh Aaron, sweetie. I mean I don't blame you at all, Celina is gorgeous and wonderful and amazing. But oh, yeah. Ouch. But also Aaron, you have a station full of people with trauma. Lucy has always said she's there for you and she has heaps of trauma. Side note, I need Luna and Lucy having a girl's day out.

Okay back to Chenford. My god these two. Even when they're at odds, they just love each other so much. The way she touches him. Always a hand on his chest and over his heart. Her little 'hmms'. Tim's darling smile just for her. Aaron, are you the new Tamara? Let us have more than 30 seconds please for the love of god. God Tim looks so pissed before he schools his expression back to something more neutral. He was having a moment, Aaron!

Now he knows Aaron isn't a threat but he also knows he's drunk and a bit too much, so he slides an arm around Lucy to keep her close to him, and makes sure to keep Aaron the other side and at arm's length away. Lucy instantly looking for Celina because she can sense something happened. Celina, this is why you tell people where you're going please. After last time with Aaron when you said you should've called it in. Okay so Lucy and Tim totally made out in some secret dark corner. Maybe not full on hooking up, but that woman has a smile and some pep in her step. They absolutely made out. A lot. I need more fics of that too, thank you. And just general after the wedding and saving Celina fics. Those two need some make-up sex. Stat.

Lucy taking point. My girl. Tim on her six. And now I take a break until tomorrow. Not that I'm putting off getting to *that* episode. No sireee.

#isca rambles #isca prompts

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braveclementine · 3 months

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That's a Fucking Tragedy Sweetheart

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Twilight characters or locations. I do own Davina Mikelson and Marcel. I also own the backstory for my OC. I do not condone any copying of this.

Davina P.O.V.

I spent a lot of time with Seth over the next couple of days. He was a great kid, sweet to talk to, so energetic, and reminded me of myself when I was younger.

I had tried being friends with Leah, but she seemed rather wary of me.

"Say." Seth asked one day, the day before we were going to go hunting the wolves. "What's the tattoo you have mean?"

"It's a sign for a wolf pack." I responded truthfully. "It means family, inclusion, love, happiness, loyalty, and a sign of a bond."

"Sam Uley has one of those tattoos." Seth said.

I nodded, "Well Sam's family to me. Guys usually get it but Sam let me get one as his sister."

"Do you think maybe one day I'd get a tattoo like that?" Seth asked excitedly.

I thought about it. Harry Clearwater technically had the wolf gene. "It's possible. It really just depends. But you don't have to worry about it now. What comes will come and what doesn't is a gift."

"Is that a quote?" Seth asked and I laughed.

"Who told you I quoted things?" I asked with a laugh.

"I heard it mentioned." Seth frowned, "I don't remember who though."

I laughed again and we continued to talk.

The next day however, I was very nervous and Harry was too.

I had a stake in my jacket pocket alongside my lighter. Harry had given me a pistol, which I knew how to use. My own handgun was technically illegal as I was twenty-one, but I had also inherited it from Dad in his will so. . .

I dressed firmly in hiking boots, stretchy jeans, and a short sleeved T-shirt that showed my wolf scar from Paul.

"Why are you going?" Leah questioned as I got ready to ride with her father in the car. I looked up at her in a little bit of surprise.

"I have good eyesight. Hopefully I can track the wolves from their prints." I lied and told the truth.

"Oh." Leah said, frowning a little.

"I also have good aim when I shoot." That was a complete truth.

Leah seemed slightly impressed and then Harry called for me.

"I'll see you later." I said with a small wave. I headed towards Harry's car and got in the passenger seat.

We drove in tense silence until we got to the meeting point. Charlie seemed a bit disoriented to see me but when Harry said he'd brought me along as a tracker, Charlie was okay with it.

Me and Harry brought up the back of the group. I was certainly nervous, looking around every opportunity I got. The farther in we went, the more I felt like I was being watched.

"Harry, I think she's here." I muttered under my breath so he could barely hear me.

He nodded, "She's probably after Charlie."

Charlie turned around as we both stopped. I had gone to wipe away a wolf track, "Got something Harry?"

I looked up and shook my head, "No."

Once Charlie turned back, I scuffed dirt over the print.

The others were spread out, hunting rifles in hand. And I was just getting more nervous, hoping the wolves were nearby.

Harry and I continued steadily, continuing to look around. That was when Victoria jumped down behind Charlie. I raised my gun in sync with Harry and Victoria turned to face us.

Her red eyes circled on us and she was in front of us in an instant, knocking the guns from our hands, lifting both of us up by our shirt fronts. I kicked out, connecting with her face, but she didn't even wince, dropping Harry instead, keeping a hold on me.

And then the wolf attacked, her grip loosening on me, sending me down the hill. I stumbled to my feet, saw her behind me, and started to run.

I was not fast enough, I knew that, but the wolves were in the forest now too. I sprinted as fast as I dared, jumping logs and dashing around trees like it was second nature. Damn, I would've made a great vampire.

Victoria's arm caught me around the waist, knocking the breath of me as I was swept off my feet. I stared at the ground, trying to figure out why it was flying by so fast and then I realized that she had me thrown over my shoulder.

Damn, I shouldn't have agreed to go with Harry.

I thrashed in her grip until I felt my head slam into something hard. Ow. Fuck. Maybe a tree trunk? I wasn't entirely sure, all I knew was that my vision was starting to go black as I stared at the rushing ground.

With difficulty, I reached into my pocket, drawing out the stake, slamming it into her back. She arched, throwing me and I skidded along the ground, finding myself at the cliff end, looking down at the water.

I dug my fingers into the sand, stopping myself from falling before I found myself being hoisted up by Victoria. Sam skidded to a stop, his eyes on her and me. I was dazed. What in the world was happening?

I knew if I fell into the water, I probably wouldn't survive the fall. Victoria hissed, holding the stake to my throat and I knew I had to do something or she was going to get away. I clenched the lighter in my hand, bringing my arm up like I was going to try and push her arm away. She didn't stop me, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to. I smirked. The vampires kept underestimating me.

I set her arm on fire. She dropped the stake. Jacob lunged. Victoria dove for the water, but not before she pushed my chest hard, sending me flying over the edge.

I felt myself tumbling, falling my face upwards towards the sky. This was not good. If I wanted to survive the fall, I needed to land feet first. Sam changed from a wolf to a human, diving after me.

'You idiot' I thought 'What the hell are you doing?'

I hit the water, sinking faster than I thought I would. My back hurt like hell. My vision was blurry and everything slowly turned black.

------------

"DAVINA!" Something hot and heavy was pressing down on my chest like. . . like an iron bar. If the pressure was even harder it could probably snap my ribs.

I felt lips on mine, trying to breathe air into me, "DAVINA! Please!"

Was that Sam? Sam didn't sound like that. That sounded like begging and crying. Sam didn't beg or cry. Not my Sammy.

"Davina. . . please Davina." Water drops hit my face. . . no. . . they were tears.

The head fell down on my chest, "Please Davina please."

I coughed, water spilling from my mouth, opening my eyes painfully. Sam's head jerked up, tears had stained his face and he held my face in his hands. "Davina. . ." He was half laughing in relief. "Oh!" He pulled me upright against his bare chest to hug me.

"S-Sam?" I croaked out painfully. "What- where- what happened?"

"Victoria pushed you off the cliff." Sam said, pushing my hair back from my face. "I thought. . . I thought you drowned."

"Ow. . . I feel like it. . ." I muttered, gingerly touching my head, looking around. Jacob was working over Bella's body. "What-"

"She went cliff diving. Victoria took off in the water after her. A hurricane came in and she got caught up in some of the heavy waves." Sam said.

"Where's Harry?" I mumbled, "And the wolves. Victoria had Harry in her hold before she dropped him for me. Is he okay?"

There was fresh pain on Sam's face and he looked away. "Sam. . ."

"Harry had a heart attack. He's. . . he's dead." Sam muttered quietly.

I stared at him in shock and then burst into tears, "Oh! It's my fault. I should've stepped in front of him so she never grabbed him! I didn't realize. . . I forgot how old. . . I didn't know!"

"Davina, Davina stop, it's okay, it's not your fault." Sam said quickly.

"He's dead because of me." I sobbed. "It's my fault."

"It's not your fault." Sam said but I wasn't listening. I was hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe. How many people was I going to kill because of my stupidity. "Davina, look at me, breathe. You didn't cause Harry to have a heart attack. That was Victoria. You didn't know he had heart problems. This isn't your fault."

My fault.

Oh God, it's all my fault.

Oh God, why are you doing this to me.

How many more people are you going to make me kill. How many more deaths will be pinned on me?

Oh God.

I slumped forward into Sam's arms, losing myself as I hyperventilated. Sam stood, scooping me up into his arms.

Sam P.O.V.

I had no idea why Davina was reacting the way she was, but it scared me. Bella was conscious and I told Jacob I was going to hospital with Davina.

I kept muttering, 'it's okay' to Davina, but she didn't seem to be hearing me. She had completely freaked.

I had never seen her like this. She was always happy, as a kid, and now that I knew her. Always carrying joy around her, even after Carlisle Cullen left her to be sick for weeks. Because even when everything really bad ended a week after, she couldn't eat. She couldn't really sleep. She had constant headaches. But she stayed happy.

I wasn't sure how she had done it. I had only ever been with one person which was Leah. And when I imprinted on Emily and couldn't even see Leah's face, I knew I hurt her and I felt bad. But I couldn't stop it. I couldn't even see Leah's pain.

Davina's face was the first female face that I could see clearly in a while. Emily and Davina. And I didn't have those feelings for Davina. She had always been my best friend, my sister. That quirky attitude of hers and the relationship that we had.

I should've kept her away from Carlisle. Then this wouldn't be happening. But she had seemed so happy with him and all I wanted was for her to be happy. And so the bond had formed and now she was sick.

But this. This freaking out. The panic she had right now, I didn't understand that at all. She truly seemed to think Harry's death was her fault, even though she hadn't been the one to cause it.

And I started to wonder, as I set her down in the passenger seat of my truck, driving towards the hospital, what had happened before she had come here. It made me realize that she talked nothing about her past. And if she did, it was all the way back from when we were kids.

She didn't say anything about Kentucky. Nothing about the base her family had stayed on. She never mentioned her parents, never mentioned her brother Kol. She never talked about any friends she had made, any drills she might've partaken in. Her letters, when I went back to read them, were excitable, telling me about a guy named Azim. She didn't talk about him either. There was also her Uncle Josh who was very close with her family, and a young solider she had met whose name was Marcel.

But she didn't talk about any of those people anymore.

I remembered turning nineteen. My birthday was the last time she'd sent a letter. We'd gone two years without contact.

What happened in those two years before she showed up at Emily's house, looking almost unrecognizable. I honestly wouldn't even have realized it was her until she smiled that smile. She looked older, older than nineteen.

And it had taken me a moment because women's faces were usually blurry, unless they were older than me, like Sue or around the rez. The ones my age didn't have faces. I had panicked for a second, thinking maybe it was someone to haunt me. But it was just Davina. Just my sister.

"This is my fault." Davina muttered, her face in her hands. "Shit why the hell didn't I step in front of Harry? I should've known Victoria was going to grab him. Fuck I'm such an idiot."

Her entire body was shaking, tears cascading down her face. I didn't understand. What happened back on the base. This had to be a relapse of something. Something else was triggering this response.

"Davina, everything is going to be okay." I murmured. "This isn't your fault. No one blames you."

She looked at me and the look in her eyes scared me the most.

"Davina, sweetheart," I muttered, a nickname she had hated when we were kids and it was rolling off the tongue now, "It's not your fault. No one is going to blame you. You couldn't kill someone."

Her hands gripped the dashboard and she swallowed hard.

"Davina. . . did someone blame you for someone else's death before?" I asked, pulling up to Harry's house as it seemed she didn't need to be in the hospital anymore.

Davina swallowed, choking, "I- I can't. If- if I told you- you'd hate me. Please Sam. I can't- you can't leave me."

She was completely trembling now, her entire body shaking. It reminded me of when we got angry enough to transform. I stopped the truck, turning it off, and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "It's going to be okay. It's alright. I'm not going anywhere."

She took in a few shuddering breaths. We sat there for a long time. I comforted her while she cried quietly. "Sam, I can't stay in this house tonight. I have to go home."

"Okay." I whispered. "Okay Dav. I'll drive you back home."

She let out a final, shuddering breath, before climbing out of the truck. I walked up with her to the house.

"Hey Leah." Davina muttered and I saw Leah turn, going up the stairs. Davina shot me a guilty, apologetic look.

"It's fine." I muttered.

"I'll be back down in a few." Davina said, climbing the stairs.

Davina P.O.V.

I packed up the bedroom methodically. Seth watched me, tears falling down his eyes. "Do you have to leave?"

I turned to face him, trying not to cry myself. "Seth, one day, I promise to tell you everything. But for now, I have to go. I don't want to impose, not when. . . not now okay?"

I pulled him in for a hug and found that he was boiling hot. Oh dear, that wasn't good. I'd have to tell Sam when I went back downstairs.

"Will you come to dad's funeral?" Seth questioned.

I paused for a moment and choked out, "I- I'll try. I'm not. . . I'm not very good with funerals." I admitted softly. "I- it reminds me of my own parents funeral. I- I wasn't allowed to attend."

Seth was confused with that and asked, "Why?"

"Like I said, one day I'll explain everything. But. . . but I don't think I can come to the funeral. I'm sorry." I whispered.

Seth nodded. I touched his cheek softly and smiled. "Love you."

"Love you too." Seth choked out. "You're. . . you're like a second mom to me."

"And you're like a son to me." I ruffled his hair. "I'll see you soon."

I walked back down the stairs, following Sam out to his truck. He'd already shifted my motorcycle into the back of it, strapping it down. I climbed back into the truck.

Once Sam had pulled out I said, "Seth's boiling hot."

"I was afraid Harry's death might send him over the edge." Sam admitted, "I knew he would be one eventually. . . I just hoped he would be older."

"Yeah." I whispered, "What about Leah?"

"She can't. She's female." Sam muttered.

We spent the rest of the drive in silence and as he pulled up to the Victorian style house I said, "Sam. One day. . . I'll tell you everything. But it can't be now. I'm not ready."

Sam put a hand over mine. "I promise Davina. Whatever happened, whatever you went through, I'll stay by your side. Always."

I quirked my mouth into a small smile, "Don't quote my Harry Potter."

He chuckled, "You stole my line."

"You stole mine first." I pointed out and then sighed sadly. "I'll see you Sam."

I kissed his cheek, stepping out of the truck. Sam helped me get my motorcycle out of the car and then he froze.

"Sam?"

"Davina."

I froze now. The voice was musical, high-pitched, and female and I spun around quickly in shock, "Ali?"

Sam was still frozen as the vampire female and Alpha wolf male stared at each other in dislike. "I see you also have a werewolf hanging around." Alice said, wrinkling her nose.

I got angry, "Yeah, well it's none of your business anyways."

I took the motorcycle from Sam. "I'll see you later."

Sam nodded, eyeing Alice with dislike, climbing back into the truck, backing out, and driving away.

I rolled my motorcycle back into the garage, closing it, and heading for the house.

"You're mad at me." Alice stated, sounding unhappy.

"Um yeah." I said. "My kids just up and left me without saying anything. Oh, except Eddie who basically said Bella and I weren't good for the family."

"He said that?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"Yep. Let me see and I quote, 'You're not good for me Bella and Davina is terrible for Carlisle'."

"Oh." Alice said in a small voice.

I took in a deep breath. "Not to mention you kind've left us here defenseless against Laurent and Victoria. If it wasn't for the werewolves, we'd both be dead now."

"Bella said something about that." Alice admitted. "What exactly happened?"

"Laurent was looking for us to see if you guys had left us unprotected to see if Victoria could easily kill Bella to avenge James." I replied simply, pulling out carrots, onions, potatoes, celery, and stew meat to make a large stew for the werewolves.

"I got Bella to leave the field, stabbed Laurent with a stake, attempted to set him on fire. Luckily the werewolves showed up and tore him to pieces. And then earlier today, I was out with Harry and Charlie and some of the other guys on a fake hunting wolf trip and Victoria tried to kill Charlie, but then attacked Harry and me, and then threw me off a cliff into the water. Sam saved me. Harry had a heart attack and. . . and he's gone. Because of me. Because I didn't step in front of Victoria."

Tears brimmed in my eyes.

I got out my very large crockpot, dumping two bags of frozen mini carrots into it, covering it up with just a little water. I washed the celery, cutting four of them, cutting them quickly to add to the stew. Meanwhile, I let the stew meat start to cook in one of the large pans. I had added three packages of meat.

"I'm sorry mom. . ." Alice whispered. "We didn't want to leave. Edward insisted."

"And Carlisle." I said through gritted teeth. "Please, Alice, I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright."

"Why'd you come back?" I muttered.

"I saw Bella jump off a cliff."

"Oh yeah, she went cliff diving." I muttered.

"Well, I can't see the werewolves so I thought she was committing suicide." Alice admitted. "I wanted to be here for Charlie, although I wasn't sure what I could possibly do."

I felt my heart melt. Alice obviously still cared. I sighed as I started to cut the onions. "I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't be mad at you. I'm just hurt."

"I really am sorry." Alice said.

I looked at my daughter. "I know. Come here."

Alice threw her arms around me and I hugged her back tightly. Then I let her go, turning back to the food. She quickly cut up all three onions for me and I raised an impressed eyebrow. "Did you learn culinary skills while you were traveling?"

Alice grinned, "No, but I know how to wield a knife."

I smirked, sliding the onion into the crockpot, adding a little bit of Dale's sauce. Then I started on peeling the potatoes before cutting them up and adding them in as well. I had about six potatoes in there. Finally, I added the meat, letting the sauces run together before stirring everything and then putt the lid on it. I turned the time on for 21 hours to let it cook on high temperature.

Alice nodded approvingly, "I'm guessing feeding werewolves is busy work?"

"They have enormous appetites." I admitted.

"You're happy with them, aren't you?" Alice asked quietly.

"They're my family." I answered simply. "I love my sons. I love my brother. I love my sister in law."

"I'm glad." Alice said.

I paused for a moment and then asked, "Carlisle. . . has he felt sick at all? Being away?"

Alice looked at me for a long moment and then said, "Sometimes. He's usually fine but sometimes he says he gets a pain in his stomach. He thinks it's bad blood."

I nodded. At least I wasn't the only one who was suffering from this separation.

"You. . . you don't look well."

"I was deathly sick for a week after you guys left. I mean. . . so much pain and sickness that I was welcoming death. Courtney put me on anti-depressants. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm wasting away here Alice." I sighed, "Oh well."

Alice suddenly gasped.

"Alice?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's Edward." Alice said, her eyes wide. "He. . . Rosalie told him that Bella was dead. He's going to Italy."

"What's in Italy?" I asked, fear gripping my heart.

"The Volturi." Alice said.

'You don't go to the Volturi unless you want to die.'

"Oh." I gasped. "We need to go and stop him."

"You would come?" Alice asked.

I nodded, my mind racing a million miles per hour. "Yes. Get Bella. Go to her. I'll meet you at the house."

Alice was gone in a flash. I ran upstairs. I quickly changed into black leather jeans and a red leather jacket. I slipped on a heart shaped gold necklace, pulling my hair back into a low bun, grabbing my red wig, slipping it on my head. I messed with it in the mirror until all my black hair was gone.

Grabbing makeup, I quickly messed with the eyebrows until they looked a dark red. I also made sure that my features were messed with makeup to look like my fake passport.

Sadie Claire. Carlisle had come up with the name for me in the hospital last year when James had nearly drained me of blood. Later, Alice had made me a fake ID and a passport under the same name with red hair.

I quickly turned everything off in the house except the crockpot, climbing on the back of my motorcycle and called Sam.

"Davina?" Sam asked, his voice sounded husky.

"Hey." I responded, "I'm going to Italy."

There silence on the other side of the phone and then Sam asked, "Um, why?"

"Jacob will probably fill you in. Long story short, Edward, my most emotional vampire son wants to commit suicide so Bella, Alice, and I are going to try and stop him."

"Why Italy?"

"That's where the Volturi live." I explained.

"What the hell are the Volturi?"

"The Vampire kings." I said. "You only got to them if you want to either join them or if you want to ask for permission to die."

"And you're just going to go to them?" Sam sounded angry now.

"Don't worry, we can probably stop Edward without actually having to meet them. We'll just be in their city. But there are plenty of humans in the city. We'll probably blend in."

Sam was quiet, "Davina, I can't lose you."

"You won't."

"Is this about Harry? You're blaming yourself so now you think you have to save Edwards' life?"

"I would be going to save Edward regardless of whether I killed Harry or not." I said, trying not to cry.

"You didn't kill Harry." Sam said angrily, "I keep telling you this."

"It's my fault." I responded. "Look, I can't really argue with you about this. I'm telling you because you need to look out for Charlie while we're gone. I'm sure Jacob will do it anyways, but I thought you should know."

I had pulled up in front of Charlie's house and Alice and Bella came out, hurrying towards the car that I recognized as Carlisle's. My heart clenched and I inhaled sharply.

"Davina." Sam said quietly. "It's not your obligation."

"Sammy. I have my werewolf sons. And then I have my Vampire sons. Even if they left. I have to protect them. The way I would protect any of you if you left me. I can't help it. Please don't be mad when I get back."

"Fine." Sam sighed.

"I made a stew. It's still on at my house. It'll go off in around twenty hours if you want to pick it up sometime. The front door is unlocked."

Sam sighed, "Thanks for making it."

I parked my motorcycle by Charlie's house, making sure Charlie knew it was my motorcycle. I waved bye to Jacob who was holding Bella back and hopped into the car. "Love you Sam, I really do."

"I love you too." Sam muttered.

I closed the phone and looked at Alice, "I really hate making promises I can't make."

"Me too." Alice whispered as Bella climbed into the car, "Me too."

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cuntwrap--supreme · 4 months

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Something a little fucked about going to dinner with people who have told your mom that you're "not ok" and shit since you were 8 and them entirely ignoring you, instead leaning over to whisper to your brother that they needed to talk later (about me) when I'm quite literally directly across from him. He texted me saying his aunt wanted to discuss me later.

So they're all talking further down the table and at some point I interject and say, "Yeah, ha ha, I heard you had some questions about me. Where better to get that information than the horse's mouth?" And this woman - who pretends to be Cherokee to, like, get sympathy and Liz Warren'd her way into school saying she was Cherokee when she knew she wasn't, got whole scholarships meant for minorities because of it - looks to my mother and goes, "Girl, I think you need to control your thing down there." So I stood up and said I'd rather walk 14 miles home in the rain than be in the presence of such vacant, soulless ghouls for a moment longer, told this woman she can pay for my meal with her husband's money, and walked. My dad, one of my sisters, and her boyfriend came after me and said that was fucked and they weren't gonna sit there after that. My dad said he was going to walk with me if no one handed over their keys because it was either that or he was going to jail for murdering this woman. Said he looked at my mom and asked what her response to that was, and all she said was that I'm clearly mentally unwell. As if 1) that's not directly her fault and 2) that's grounds to let someone call me a thing and talk shit about me for decades.

Pretty sure your parents are supposed to have your back? So he said after that was her response he told her good luck with her bills, he's done supporting her 20 years after they got divorced. I've been telling him this is how she treats me since I was a child, but he's never seen it in action until tonight. Like, I'd be 10 or so and doing 10 year old shit and she'd make sure I knew it was a sign of being depraved to pretend you're a wizard for fun or some shit and that I was probably going to end up a whore for work because I have no value; meanwhile, she's smoking crack with her boyfriend all the fucking time, exposing me to that and domestic violence, forcing me to be an adult and protect my siblings from her and her boyfriend's drug use from 8 years old onward, and allowing her boyfriend to psychologically torture me because well I'm weird so i deserve it, etc! Wow! It's almost as if isolating people in their formative years and instead forcing them to deal with constant stresses such as "will my mom die the next time she's thrown bodily across the room?" and "what happens if DCS doesn't believe my mom's lies next time? Will I be placed in a home full of other troubled kids, but some of them will rape me?" and "I've been told no adults will believe me when I mentioned my home life and surprise! they don't!" isn't good for someone.

I'm irreparable. Yeah. Sure. You got me there. But I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to sit idly by as these people talk shit about me when I'm 5ft away. Last time they saw me they talked to my mother about how I need to be institutionalized for - get this - not being feminine. Apparently that's a mental disorder now! Sorry, afab people! You have to be traditionally feminine or you're mentally fucked! I don't make the rules! Some people who got rich by marrying scam artists do! Or they told my youngest sister to stop talking to me because I'll only drag her down with me. Whatever that means. As if I didn't fucking raise that child more than either of her parents ever did. As if I didn't protect her from her father when he'd get high and want something to strangle while tweaking out and chose infant her. I should have punched this vapid excuse for a human square in the nose.

I'm so sick of how these people have treated me forever and how no one has ever had the balls to stand up to them because they all have money and they want to mooch off of that. They've hated me from Day One because I don't suck up to them. As far back as I can remember, they've told me I should dye my hair blonde, do makeup, wear high heels and slutty clothes so I can find a "good man" who will take care of me, then call me a weird dyke when I say none of that sounds like a way to find a man I'd get along with.

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simplylove101 · 11 months

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HORROR MOVIE CHALLENGE 2023 FAVES, HONORABLE MENTIONS & LEAST FAVES (AND THE ONES I COULDN’T FINISH)

Another year of my annual horror challenge has ended! This is technically posted a day later than I usually do it (cuz I usually get that next day off) but I ended up being tired the day after my Halloween movie marathon. But I also had plenty of movies to decide between for this too. 67 movies, to be exact. This year's challenge was interesting in comparison to last year's just because the sheer amount of watches that became instant faves of mine in 2022. I did find plenty of new faves again as always but I will say it was a little harder ranking stuff a bit too because there were many watches that ended up being... just okay. Definitely watchable but a fave? And since there's only allowed to be 30 pics used in a post, I try to keep each category to a certain number now that I make sure to include the movie posters.

Reminder: I never order any of these categories in order of preference, simply just the order of how they were watched, because that'd be kinda hard to do. I struggle enough as it is with this list already.

FAVE WATCHES:

The Menu: It's the first watch I did for the challenge that truly got me excited for it this year so that alone gets it on this list but also the wackiness of the whole concept really appealed to me. It made me laugh. I loved the cast. I will still not be forgetting that ending any time soon. This movie was very much my jam. It's not for everyone but it was for me.

2) M3GAN: Honestly, I'm not surprised this movie still made it on the faves list because while the idea of it may seem rather silly to most people, I dug it for what it was. It was fun and campy just as I expected it to be. Ready for the sequel. And also, Don Mancini, how dare you hype up a Chucky/M3gan face-off if that doesn't happen in some shape or form (regardless of the logic any of that would make lmao)

3) Infinity Pool: Now this one is very much a 'not for everyone' pick. I said in my review that we'd see where its standing in the rankings would be and well, while I'm still wavering between the faves or the honorable mentions, it's safe to say this movie stayed with me. There's visuals in it that I'll never forget. Brandon Cronenberg is like his dad in that regard. And well, you can't talk about this movie and not mention Mia Goth. She killed it with this one.

4) Scream 6: As a proud fan of the Scream franchise as a whole and how kinda let down I felt a bit about Scream 5 by choices made, I was pleasantly surprised by how strong this one felt in comparison. I genuinely found myself caring about the Core 4. I did miss Sidney and I lament what they could have done storywise for both of these movies (Bring back Stu! You mentioned him! lol) but what we did get was pretty cool. Gale's big scene was a highlight and it was cute seeing Kirby back even if they didn't use her to her full potential. Still, this is one of the more recent ones that I think can stand next to the original and you say, it's worthy of it. But that's just my opinion. lol Despite flaws, a fun and intense ride.

5) Evil Dead Rise: I still don't know where it stands against the originals/the 2013 reboot but honestly, as I said, I think they managed to make it their own so I won't compare them. The tone was darker too so that'd be hard. But yeah, this is a movie that had a lot of good things going for it that I had to put it on here. Definitely one of the best of 2023 in my book.

6) Escape Room Franchise: This is my one cheat. lol I'm pairing them together because I can and I watched them right after each other. And it's the only way I'd put them on the Faves list. They're silly fun these movies that happen to have faces I know in them. Now for the record, the second one I'm counting because I watched the non-theatrical version with Isabelle Fuhrman, which honestly is the version they should have stuck with. It's the one that gave a conclusion instead of dragging out an already convoluted plotline.

7) Renfield: Even if I expected to like it even more than I actually did, I feel like it still earns its spot on here because I really liked the concept. The pairing of Nicholas Hoult & Nicholas Cage was a fantastic idea, despite it not fully focusing on their dynamic as much as they should have imo. It still was fun. Very memorable action sequences that'll have you gasping. Still was solid enough at the end of the day.

8) Last Shift: I feel like I gotta give this little B movie credit. It had me on the edge of my seat and it's mostly just one woman stuck in one location having to deal with some pretty traumatizing stuff. I was definitely creeped out at parts so overall, I feel like it was effective and it helps that I went in with low expectations because I feel like it went beyond them. Thankfully, they had this poster because the other one is so rude and creepy. lol

9) Devil's Advocate: I think it's funny that I always mean to watch Angel Heart every year now and this one I just put on out of impulse. So basically I got to see Pacino play *spoiler alert* Satan before De Niro. lol Maybe next year? Anyway, this was really interesting. Keanu playing a character that's hard to like (much like Knock Knock) which is kinda more of a rarity with him and Al Pacino also giving an all-in performance. I appreciated how they handled the blend of legal drama & supernatural in the script. Some very memorable moments in there.

10) The Serpent & The Rainbow: Despite what I said about how the story gets a little lost in the second half for me once it gets really action heavy, I do still think this was an interesting movie. I feel like it had good intentions with the message it was trying to send about racism and exploiting cultures for personal gain. It was also a fresh take on the zombie genre at the time because it's about the actual origins of the word. It was also really cool how they incorporated the voodoo element as well. Yes, they went a little effects heavy but I will never forget that coffin scene with Bill Pullman because man, the visuals in that one alone. A+ camerawork. There's a lot to think about with this one.

11) No One Will Save You: This one kinda wavered between fave and honorable mention because it's just really odd. lol And my review wasn't as positive as you'd expect a movie making this list but honestly, looking back on it, it was kinda original. Because it wasn't just about aliens, it was also mainly about Kaitlyn's character's guilt. Still normally would have been put under as honorable mention but I think Kaitlyn Dever's performance was that good, it feels fair to put it on here instead. Wish the effects had been better and the narrative a little clearer but it was still pretty good.

12) Vacancy: Another one where it was like, do I put you with the faves or the honorable mentions?? lol But I actually thought this was pretty solid. Very simple story but sometimes those ones work best if and when executed just right because why complicate this story? We know who we're meant to root for and they're either gonna get out of this situation alive or not. I can't help comparing it to The Strangers because there's a lot of similarities but I actually like these characters/the actors more. Their urgency to survive was very clear. So, I was willing to watch this ride, despite any poor choices made along the way. My one true qualm is the ending just because it's entirely too abrupt imo but otherwise, I enjoyed it.

13) Insidious Chapter 2: In my review I mentioned it kinda felt like we were going through the motions with this one in comparison to the original but I do think it was still good. It felt like a proper way to end the story of The Lambert family (but then they just had to bring them back in The Red Door for a half-baked story) and at least there was an actual reason for why it felt like we were repeating things at parts. Patrick Wilson was good in the possessed scenes. Like, there were some flickers of Jack in The Shining imo so props to him for his performance. Also, they did a better job including the other characters like Barbara Hershey's and Specs & Tucker I think as well.

14) Totally Killer: As soon as I finished this movie I knew exactly where it was being placed because this was so fun. Very enjoyable to watch. The cast was great. Very funny and tongue-in-cheek just how I love my horror comedies. Kiernan Shipka was perfect as the lead and always excited to see Olivia Holt in anything. All the callbacks to Back to the Future made me very happy because they knew what they were doing. So yeah, this movie was made for me. lol

15) The Sacrament: In terms of enjoyment, this might not be high on people's lists but once again, maybe I was a target audience for it? That final act is quite grim but very effective. Especially because Ti West chose to use the found footage format. And I loved the reasoning for using it because it makes perfect sense for them to keep recording (the main characters being journalists) I genuinely don't mind that his movies lean towards a slowburner pace because it feels like there's a purpose to it. I did enjoy this a little more than The Innkeepers so I knew if either of Ti West's movies I watched this year was making one of the lists, it was gonna be this one.

16) I See You: Knowing what I know, I truly love how misleading that poster is cuz that was certainly a choice by the people behind it. lol That's all I'll say about that but yeah, this movie ended up being one of the surprise faves because I went in with the lowest of expectations. I went in completely blind and was glad for it cuz I worry the trailer reveals stuff. Very twisty little tale with clues thrown in there. Love when a movie can turn the narrative on its head and I can still appreciate it. And always cool seeing recognizable faces as well (Helen Hunt, Libe Barer, Sam Trammell & Judah Lewis for me) Might not be for everyone but this leans more for people who enjoyed their horror more grounded if you can believe it. lol

17) Ponytpool: There just was something really cool and unique about this concept. A zombie movie that doesn't feel like a one most of the time but is pretty effective in its execution for that genre imo. It takes place majorly in one location but they were able to accomplish a lot within that limitation. Stephen McHattie and Lisa Houle's chemistry was so good together, it honestly wasn't surprising to learn they're married in real life. It was definitely refreshing with how different it was.

18) The Frighteners: I just feel like this should be considered a 90's horror classic. It was fun enough. Michael J. Fox's last role as a leading man in movies. Horror icons Jeffrey Combs & Dee Wallace both hamming it up when they can. The effects were pretty solid too. Not to mention, it's the last of Peter Jackson's horror era. So, lots of notable things about it. I thought it was good. Definitely makes me excited to check out his other horror movies next year.

19) When Evil Lurks: Such a brutal watch. But the hype as it being considered the best horror movie from this year by some is very much deserved imo. Starts a little slow but once it gets going, I was down. It feels very unique with a lore that felt established. The gore is a lot to handle but it didn't feel excessive beyond what the story called for (I've seen a lot worse tbh) I just felt so bad for the main character obviously, because he truly was doing everything he could to save his family. Like I said, brutal. But I think it was great. It definitely had me. If you can't handle subtitles, I don't know what to tell you. But I will say besides the scenes where the lore is explained, it's not the hardest story to follow actually imo.

20) Talk to Me: Of course this was gonna be on here!! I'm glad this lived up to the hype for me. I would have been so sad if it hadn't. Especially since it's how I ended my Halloween night marathon. I just really loved the overall vibe of the whole thing and the cast was great. Sophie Wilde, you're a certified scream queen. You owned this movie. It deserves being labeled as the best of the year as well. I can't decide. lol Anyway, bring on the prequel and sequel! I'm ready for both.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Cobweb: I know this isn't a movie a lot of people would agree with probably because it has its issues I know but honestly, I actually almost put it as a fave originally. Just because when it got things right or it'd get scary, it definitely got me. There's a particular scene with Lizzy Caplan that had me in the fetal position ngl. lol But the messiness of the plot and me feeling not 100% on the appearance of the creature (not to mention it feeling very unfinished at the end), made it so I ultimately had to put it on the Honorable Mentions instead. But it was pretty memorable if nothing else.

2) Swallow: Horror fans would possibly come for me putting this one on here but hear me out, it is still a body horror movie. Just a very different take on that subgenre. And I just thought it was a good movie. Haley Bennett deserves all the praise. The cinematography is to die for. It had me squirming more than plenty of horror movies manage to so in that regard it definitely belongs in the genre imo. It was just a very interesting character study and is probably not a movie most people would expect to see on a list like this.

3) Phenomena: I wasn't sure if I was gonna put it on the list or not but I do think it was pretty good. Notable for being very different from Argento's stuff so I'm excited to watch more of his next year to see just how true that is. Now knowing that Jennifer Connelly was 15 in it makes me appreciate her performance more cuz I thought she was older. Very cool use of music and visuals. And ofc Inga the chimpanzee deserves a mention cuz aww.

4) Rings: Look at me putting a short movie on here but hey, say what you want, but what this thing managed to do in 17 minutes is still better than some of the full feature movies I watched for the challenge this year as far as I'm concerned. Some of the camera choices were interesting that dates it a bit but otherwise I think this was pretty solid. Continues to make me wish they had included in the final product of The Ring 2 but we move on. lol

5) Killer Klowns from Outer Space: It had to make the list!! lol It's just classic silly B movie fun. I don't care about any of the flaws. It was just as I was hoping it would be. It was peak 80's cheesiness in the best kind of way. I loved the design of the clowns and music. And those kills were beyond memorable with how out there they were. Cult classic I'm glad I finally watched.

(There were a few I debated on placing on here like The Good Neighbor or Hell House LLC Origins, maybe even Absentia cuz of Mike Flanagan bias or Saw X, but ultimately these are the 5 I decided that I simply couldn't leave off the list)

LEAST FAVE WATCHES:

Clock: This one was easy to place. It was one of the first watches to truly annoy me once I finished it because I hated that script. The concept could have been cool and I think Dianna did a nice job with what she had but that's about all my positives for it. There's some creepy moments in but they feel tacked on to make it fit the horror genre. Most of what this movie was going for fell flat for me.

2) The Strays: Sometimes I don't like feeling so critical of movies because I see what they're going for or it's not for me or maybe some of the acting isn't great but honestly, this movie was all three of those combined imo. So, clearly there was a reason for that and I gotta put it on here. It wasn't a very pleasant watch for me. There's a message behind it but it's done in such a messy way when it feels like it should be done with more care. Just cringey.

3) Wish Upon: When a protagonist annoys you so much that you're glad the movie is over. lol It's not Joey King's fault though, it's the script's. But seriously, when people you know are dying because of your wishes and then you keep making them even after realizing that, you lose me cuz what?? Selfish lol While the kills are kinda insane, I still managed to be bored. Nice cast wasted.

4) Quarantine: I decided to keep this section to 4 movies because there were so many duds I debated putting under it instead (and I wanted to save space for at least one image for the Couldn't Finish section). Basically, it was a hard year. Like, I did not like The Strangers at all but there's iconic moments for the horror genre in it. Insidious: The Red Door was a disappointment but I love the franchise & characters. Both Sara Snook movies that I watched I disliked, but she saved both of them with her acting. Skinamarink was an experimental film that just wasn't for me but I saw the merit in it. The list goes on. But this movie?? While it tries what it can to recreate the magic of the original, it's nothing but a carbon copy of it without any of the tension. [Rec] quickly became one of my favorite horror movies ever after my watch last year so I was feeling some type of way after I finished this so I'm choosing it for this spot. lol

COULDN'T FINISH:

So, this category is newer but I think it's a good one to have cuz it gives an idea of my limits with these watches. Sometimes I get bored, sometimes I get triggered, and sometimes I'm just too annoyed to finish. lol

Tell Me How I Die: One day I was scrolling through Tubi for something to watch and I saw Ginny's (Virginia Gardner) name and she just keeps popping up in these horror movies I end up watching. lol And there's some other familiar faces in it too (Nathan Kress from iCarly and Ryan Higa from YouTube fame) but goodness, this was bad. I actually did make it almost to the end but I decided not to count it because I stopped it before the credits. It was just dumb and lacked any tension whatsoever for me. Where was the logic for anything? That said, can't say I was surprised but I at least was hoping for a guilty pleasure watch but nope.

2. The Dive: I stopped this one early enough just because the similarities between this and 47 Meters Down was just too much for me from the jump. I couldn't get past it and the acting seemed like it was gonna be subpar anyway. So I don't really regret it.

3. Elevator Game: Another one where I didn't really make it too far past the opening scene just because this was screaming that it was gonna be cheesy. I was just not in the mood for it.

4. Terrifer: Don't ask me where I thought I would have the tolerance needed for this kind of thing. I just was morbidly curious how long I could stand to watch it. I know what's been said about these movies. But yeah, I actually made it farther than I thought I would but let's just say a certain hacksaw scene is the second I tapped out. I was stupidly eating at that exact moment and I immediately felt sick. Was already gonna stop it the second Art grabbed it but didn't stop it in time before I saw way more than I would have liked. Definitely not for me. lol

5. Halloween (2007): I've never really felt drawn to watching Rob Zombie's version of Halloween because it always felt pointless. Why try to recreate the classic? The slasher that really jumpstarted what that genre has become. And yet, he did it. I only turned it on because AMC was playing it and I figured I'd at least give it chance. I made it to about when he gets out of the mental institution and we see Laurie & her friends. It definitely upped the violence (the original shows no blood and still very effective) but where was the tension, Rob??? Like, it was non-existent. I was bored. lol

6. The Outwaters: I tried to watch this around the same time as Skinamarink to see if experimental horror really wasn't for me. The jury's still out for that subgenre as a whole but this one didn't really grab me either so I don't know. It was just very slow. I was at least able to get what Skinamarink was going for but I lost interest in this one pretty quick. I did hear the ending gets a little wild though so that's interesting.

And that's another horror challenge done! Spooky season may officially be over now but excited for next year's! Hopefully it'll be more successful than this one was though.

#horrorchallenge2023

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crimsonblackrose · 2 months

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Robby's fake job is at Tech Town whose tagline is Sales| Service| Repair and the guy who he impersonated is named Edwardo who he winks at.

Like I get Carmen's: I don't want you around my son ever. But he was already being bothered by these kids even without Johnny around. So that seems like it'd just make it worse?

Banana-rama chocolate chip pancakes. What I've realized with this watch through is that Daniel has given a nick-name to almost every dish he makes. It's adorable.

Anthony immediately turns it into a 'pancake taco' which feels like maybe he takes after his dad in nicknaming food and coming up with his own spin despite Daniel's disappointment in the whole idea.

Amanda trying like 12 different ways to calm Daniel down about the billboard and I love her first response is to make a joke. She'd already done the pr spin and I love that for her.

So no deadpool art anywhere in his room but Miguel is wearing a rick and morty t-shirt.

Miguel calls his mom Mama, which I feel like I need to remember. I remember Ma for Daniel all the time, but I forget Miguel's Mama.

The comedic timing of Miguel defending Johnny only to show Johnny passed out on his floor with the spray can and a beer is still hilarious to me.

I was wondering what his keychains are. Seems to be a bird, which maybe should've been a clue. But it also might just be a 'firebird' or phoenix for his car. Honestly with how much of a mess he is I'm surprised he doesn't lose his keys more.

According to the phone call with Ms. Jenkins it's been a couple of months, which it being after Halloween makes sense.

Colorado canoe trip. 😂The fact she heard how Robby spoke to Johnny and was like maybe I'll call his mom instead and then was like ah yeah this kid going on a canoe trip with his dad makes total logical sense...like ma'am no wonder Robby's giving you trouble. She grew up on the Mississippi delta. Which is a fun little fact and makes me wonder if she's mentioned it multiple times before and if that's why Robby told her he and his dad were going to canoe the Colorado. Which is just...smart.

That is not what I'd expect to be in Aisha's locker. Let alone how little is actually in it. It's so...empty. I'd expect like science jokes and pictures of her and Sam from when they hung out more. Not one random red blob and what looks like a card with a fairy on it.

What are these schools new colors? The outside is very bland with some red, a lot of the posters are red and white but one of the kids is wearing a shirt and it's blue.

It's a Sony production so why am I not surprised Daniel's phone is Sony? Also what teen has their phone size for calls and texts so big. Also Daniel, Sam's at school, do you really want her to be texting and calling you back while at school?

oh right the 100 sausages from Cole.

I love that Amanda is like oh hey free lunch. Which is funny for Cole to have done.

Robby seeing his dad: angry. Robby's friends trying to trash talk his dad: fail and then feeling self conscious when he strikes back. Which is fascinating because I always kind of thing of Robby's friends like Kyler and his group, but Kyler and his group will fight Johnny while Robby's friends are just like ah man don't diss my mustache.

The decor choices for the Keene household are interesting. It's got a bit of a hippie vibe with wall tapestries but also art that looks like something Johnny would pick out but I guess more tasteful and a whole lot of wine. Which, Robby doesn't have food at one point so is the wine gifts from someone else that isn't consumed that frequently? Or does their money get spent on wine rather than food?

It's interesting that they make it seem like Johnny's had absolutely nothing to do with Robby most of his life. But Robby knows who Daniel is.

Oof Robby does get his wish, the whole I'm not going to school I'm done. Bud, you do want to go to school. I also do not believe Shannon is okay with it.

Both Kyler and Miguel ended up with bruises on the same side of their face. Both the left eye. Kyler's from his fight with Johnny and Miguel from his fight with Kyler and his friends.

Brucks being an english and grammar nerd surprises me a little.

Miguel speaks up to Kyler and Demetri's whole body language of like bro what did we just talk about. Even though the person they're being mean to is Eli Demetri's bff.

Demetri, how much yogurt did you throw in the trash can? Also how did you manage to throw so much in there that it got all over your back pack? It's generally in a cup. Like logically that amount of backpack coverage doesn't make sense.

The library has a 2 chalkboards in it?

Carmen taking Miguel to see the new spiderman is cute. Miguel apparently likes m&m's in his popcorn.

The marketing team they use and that tom cole uses is called VP productions. Tom Cole has locations in Sherman Oaks, Van Nuys, Encino Oaks, North Ridge, and Arleta. Which is interesting because on the Van Nuys location has been mentioned so far.

The guy who did the ad for Tom is named Bobby Lamont and it's called Yankee doodle which...was originally created to make fun of the USA so it's kind of a funny choice. Kinda shows how he wanted to hit at Daniel but then also didn't do any research.

The drought-resistant cactus 😂

The marketing lady realizing the mistake she'd made as soon as the ad ends.

Shannon not-so subtly hinting that she needs another drink.

Shannon's date is (I assume an accountant) named PJ. And Shannon actually in front of the guy is being very friendly to Johnny which is fascinating.

The bartender's name is Terry and he's so ready to give Shannon an application to work there. Though it shows she lied about it.

Robby's had mono.

He tried to build his own half-pipe and broke his wrist.

I get that Shannon's mad and has every right to be, but you'd think if you can't get Robby to do anything at all including go to school and you're at bars trying to scrounge a meal for yourself you'd take Johnny up on the offer to take Robby in. Because a. someone else can give it a try and you make sure Robby knows he cane come back to you if Johnny screws up. B. Johnny will not let those other kids in his home. c. you don't have to worry about Robby getting food/feeding Robby for a bit. Like you'd think that Johnny looks relatively good and sober and less of a wreck and you might be like well maybe but if you break Robby's heart it's over.

I guess I just think Johnny should've gotten that chance and things would've been so different.

Oh hey Shannon did get her drink refilled.

Tom Cole calls Daniel "Dan" and despite making a very targeted ad is selling and drinking boba. Tom cole has a blonde staff member named Angela.

Angela disapears into the back on the left with a customer for boba and then somehow pops out from the right to get Daniel a boba. Girl is fast at making boba and in those heels. Sorta just teleports wherever Tom Cole points ready to bring people boba.

Is Tom Cole shorter than Daniel?

Looks like it. Wow Daniel actually taller than one of his rivals? Who would've ever known?

I'm surprised no one made a joke about the boba.

The fake movie they made for Sam and Kyler's date is hilarious. Dying teenage romance drama "Let me give you one of my lungs" like I don't know if you can medically do that. It sounds like a great B movie.

Sam not just telling Kyler to stop but literally flawlessly and very subtly kicking his ass is amazing. Where's Daniel and his JERSEY TOUGH or THAT'S MY GIRL.

We will put a little note for times Johnny was right and no one listened. Ah I should've made a counter for that at the beginning. Oh well.

Kyler sitting there looking terrified and in shock is delightful.

Johnny sees a guy and his son, gets turned down on son #1 on both fronts (by son and mother) so goes tries to be parent to son #2 knowing son is excited and mom is the no.

I love Carmen's bored tired look at Johnny here

She is so not impressed.

And it's interesting how Johnny does in fact listen. Because he got the "there's no do-overs with your son" from Shannon. and is like well okay, if I don't have a chance here, which he did in fact try, he went to Miguel.

I won't fail him again...says this guy. Though I will say Kyler is not Johnny's fault.

I love that Rosa is on team Johnny since day 1. Even before she knows him. Like heck yeah Miguel found something he likes, love that for him he just needs to keep his hands up for his next fight. and then Johnny comes by and Rosa's like yup I like that random weirdo who lives next door.

Which I get Carmen being concerned makes sense and protective, but Rosa also knows everything and is protective of Miggy too.

What do you think that top room gets used for? It's like a little watch tower.

Even on low-energy not up for making breakfast Daniel still sets the table with english muffins.

Sam totally knows she's got her dad wrapped around her finger with that what no banana-rama pancakes.

Quick talking Daniel back for the win in response to don't look so excited dad.

6 trophies, a bunch of tiny ones on his desk. Clearly Johnny won more than just the all-valley. It would've been fun to have had the kids in smaller tournaments or just...other tournaments.

The graffiti on the billboard is such a...prank. The fact Louie takes it to an 11 and it ruins Daniel's day to find out who did it is just...oof.

Like Anoush clearly was like debating even telling Daniel and Louie is ready to fight and taking it personally. My dude there's graffiti everywhere.

Honestly the better choice would've been to call up Johnny and be like hey, you graffiti'd my billboard, you know that's an actual legal no no, how about you graffiti Tom Cole's and we'll call it even?

But nooo Louie's gotta get a biker gang involved. This is such a soap opera.

Louie I thought this was cute until I realized who did it which is Johnny and now it's not cute. Which fair, all he knows about Johnny is that he gave Daniel's life hell and then Daniel fixed Johnny's car for free. Not that Johnny's car got wrecked by Sam's friends or that Sam's now ex-boyfriend is the reason Johnny got arrested and his only student got beaten up so badly.

The main component of this show is that no one ever has all the facts and/or actually investigates and discusses the facts making it very pride and prejudice and soap opera-y

#mumbling about shows #i kept wondering why my read mores weren't working #I forgot you have to put something above the read more for it to take at all #so apologies for the long posts last night #i should've fixed it now

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infodumpcorner · 6 months

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Exorcist Eve: The First Meeting (With Pictures)

This is fic is the first meeting Charlie has with Adam and Eve, and how things change with Eve's presence. I've basically rewritten the scenes of the first episode and thrown some drawings of moments I find important and/or funny.

A big thank you to @kayloo who asked how this meeting would go! This is going to be long and I'm sorry

___________________________

“Hello? Hellooo?” Charlie calls out in the lobby of Heaven Embassy, her voice bouncing off the high vaulted ceilings and echoing back to her. “Creepy…”

The lobby is clean, beautifully decorated, and utterly empty. It was completely different from the usual hustle and bustle of Hell that she was used to…it’s a little unsettling. Charlie makes her way to the front desk and rings the bell for attention.

Instead of summoning a person, like she assumed it would, a glowing page and pen appear hovering just in front of her face. A glance at the writing is enough to reveal the page as a standard sign-in sheet with a standard welcome. “Okaaay. Also creepy.”

Upon signing her name on the line, the page disappears and a heavy door to her left opens just a crack. Creepy and weird, yes, but Charlie is on a mission here and it starts by walking through that door! Or tip-toeing, in this case. Tip-toeing worked too.

“Hello? Uh, anyone there?”

“Sup.” If the sudden light flooding the room wasn’t enough to surprise Charlie, the voice behind her certainly did.

“Oh shit!” Hastily picking herself off the ground, Charlie peeks over the table to see the source of the sound. Three people watch her from across the table, a man and woman in matching white robes sit together while another stands rigidly a little way back. Exorcist Angels, if the masks and horns are anything to go by. “Hi! My name’s Charlie, my dad asked me if I could meet you?”

“Yeah, I know.” The man answers, picking up a rib from a plate in front of him and munching it through his mask…somehow.

Charlie takes a moment to look at the other people in the room. The woman standing wore the standard Exorcist uniform and had fixed an unwavering glare on the princess. Certainly not the warmest person in the room. The other woman was hard to read, her mask featuring only LED eyes and no mouth. Still, Charlie got the distinct feeling the woman would rather be anywhere else than here right now. Charlie turns her attention back to the man. Out of the three Angels, he seems to be the most easy-going. Probably best to talk to him first, she decides.

“Right well… it's nice to meet you!” Charlie sticks out her hand and practically beams when the man returns her sentiment, reaching out his own hand with a welcoming smile. Okay, she thinks, this guy seems nice. She can work with this. Just make a good first impression with a hearty handshake and--

Her hand goes right through his.

“HA! I fucking got you; did you fucking see that?” The man laughs obnoxiously, looking over his shoulder at the standing Exorcist who gives him a curt nod. “Good shit.”

“Uhh, wait. So you’re not here? None of you?” Charlie asks, looking between the three.

“Ha! No. You think I'd come down there? No, I mean, I love the vibe! Totally. I love your tunes. Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong.” He laughs, getting uncomfortably close to Charlie before slumping back in his seat. “But it’s just such a bummer man! Everything down there is just, like Blah! Ya know? Hehe, ew.”

“We can talk just fine this way, Princess Morningstar,” the woman in white speaks up, trying to steer the conversation back.

“Oh, please just call me Charlie,” the princess laughs, a tad bashful to use her full title.

“All right. I am Eve. And this…” a heavy sigh. “Is Adam.”

“Wait, your names are Adam and Eve? Like, the Adam and Eve?” Charlie points at the two, eyes widening in realization.

“Yep! We’re the Original Duet, baby!” Adam drapes an arm around Eve, pulling her in until their masks smush together.

“That. Is. Great! That is so great,” Charlie grins. The original man and his wife! The people from which all human souls descend. Surely, they will be interested in her plan! “I’m so happy we all got the chance to meet. I have a project that I would love to run by you-”

“Hey hey hey heeey. Slow down, we have time. Let’s get to know each other a little bit. How about some lunch huh, you hungry? I got you,” Adam shushes her, holographic hand pressing against her lips in a buzz of static before holding out the plate of ribs. “Here, try this. It’s my personal favorite, you’ll LOVE it.”

“Uh, okay.” They do look pretty good.

Adam lets out a laugh as Charlie’s hand once again passes through the holograph. “HAHA, I fucking got you again bitch! HAHAHA, fucking hilarious!”

Oh, this is going to be a long meeting.

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“Then we fucked and it was awesome. What did you do this weekend?” Adam asks through a mouth full of ribs.

Charlie is silent, eyes flicking between the two angels. She had just spent the last hour listening to Adam talk and it was all kinds of uncomfortable. Particularly the boosts about his…sexual prowess. With many women. Other than his wife. Who was currently sitting right there.

“Uhhh, aren’t you two…You know what? Never mind.” She decides she doesn’t need to know. Eve really didn’t seem to care so who was Charlie to judge? “Adam, Eve…you two seem like lovely people.”

“Yeah, we rock.” Adam nods.

“And I know you guys are the leaders of the angels. Natural-born leaders, visionaries who truly care!”

“I mean, your words babe!”

“Who would really love to put their names on something.”

“Fucking love putting my name on shit, shit’s the best!”

“It’s the solution to our biggest problem!”

“Oh yeah, Herpies. Yeah, that’s a bitch.” Adam nods solemnly.

Confusion flashes across Charlie's face but, to her credit, she recovers fast. “No! Our other biggest problem!”

“Uh…ugly people? Math! Global warming… no wait, that’s Earth’s problem,” Charlie stands speechless as Adam begins a long list of things that he believes to be problems, each one more stupid than the last.

Eve drums her fingers on the table in front of her as Adam’s voice continues to drone on. They could have been done with this by now. They should have been done with this by now. All she wanted to do was go home, maybe have a nice bath, and not have to breathe the same air as Adam for a little while… She has to get them back on track, even if it was a topic she’d really rather not talk about.

“She’s talking about Hell’s overpopulation.”

“Oooh! Well, that's not a problem, we have that covered. Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?” Adam motions for the silent exorcist to step forward.

“Got a good two seventy-five this year, sir,” comes Lute's curt reply.

“Two seventy-five? Badass! And what about you, Evey? How many did you get?” Adam rests his head on his hands, smirking at Eve whose only response was the dangerous narrowing of her mask's eyes.

“Excuse me,” Charlie interrupts the couple's stare down. “You do realize those are my people you're talking about. Right?”

“Oh yeah…that must suck for you.” Adam doesn’t even try to restrain his laughter.

“But those are souls…human souls. Just the same as the ones you have in Heaven.” Charlie doesn’t catch the way Eve ducks her head, too distracted by Lute’s next words.

“They are not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation.”

Charlie shakes her head. “You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.”

“Angels don't make mistakes.” Lute's eye lights narrow to slits, voice dropping low.

“You really think that?”

“I know that.”

“Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fuckin' life.” Adam chimes in. And oh, they did not have the time to go through that list, Eve thinks.

For the first time since the meeting started, Lute moves from her place behind Adam, walking toward the princess with a menacing aura.

“The only reason you're still here is because daddy gave you and your hellborn kind a pardon from an exorcist blade,” She gets behind Charlie, masked face judging her coldly. “How does that feel, to know how little you matter?

“Lute, that’s enough,” Eve mutters and Lute moves back to her place at Adam’s side once he gives her a nod. “We’re running out of time. Can we please just get on with it?”

“Oh fuck! Right!” Charlie jumps into action, eager to finally present her idea. She grabs the pages she brought with her, all but falling in her rush. “Okay I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes! Ahem!”

Charlie: I know Hell's population is out of control. ♫

♫ It's a bad situation. ♫

♫ It's taking a toll. ♫

♫ If we rehab these Sinners and cleanse all their souls. ♫

♫ At my Hazbin Hotel—Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!”

The Angels watch Charlie franticly shift through her stack of papers to find the correct page. Adam and Lute share a judgmental look but Eve straightens up. Despite the literal crayon drawings being waved around and the speed at which she sang, Charlie has managed to grab her attention.

Charlie: Right! Extermination!

♫ I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year. ♫

♫ And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here. ♫

♫ If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears! ♫

♫ You can wave that chore farewell. ♫

Charlie throws a drawing above them dramatically, a rainbow of all things flying behind it. The princess takes a deep breath, preparing for her final closing argument.

Charlie: It'll be a happy day in—

Adam cuts her off sharply, shoving his hand in her face.

Adam: Let me stop you right there. Save us all precious time. ♫

“Okay...” Charlie deflates a bit. She has a feeling this isn’t about to go her way but she has to try remain positive.

Adam: If what you're suggesting is letting them climb. ♫

♫ Up the ladder, oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates? ♫

“Well, uh—.”

Adam: Sorry, sweetie. But there's no defyin' their fates! ♫

♫ 'Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not. ♫

♫ Had their chance to behave better. ♫

♫ Now they boil in the pot. ♫

♫ 'Cause the rules are black and white. ♫

Eve: There's no use in tryin' to fight it. ♫

Adam: They're burnin' for their lives. ♫

♫ Until we kill 'em again! ♫

“Okay, but—,” Charlie tries to interrupt the two, to have her voice heard, but is shut down immediately again and again.

Adam: Just try to chillax, babe. ♫

Eve: You're wasting your breath. ♫

Charlie looks at Eve. Something about her tone sounds off. It wasn’t the same as Adam’s aggressive vocals, which he continued to belt out. She sounded…tired. The princess doesn’t get a chance to think more about that before she is blinded by golden rays. She squints up at Adam, the man now glowing in Holy light.

Adam: And when all's said and done ♫

Lute & Eve: Said and done ♫

Adam: There's the question of fun ♫

Lute & Eve: Fun ♫

Adam: And for those of us with Divine Ordainment, Extermination is entertainment! ♫

♫ Bow-now-now-nownow ♫

♫ Guitar solo, fuck yeah! ♫

Adam flies back down to the table, knocking Charlie to the floor. Eve, who has remained seated until this point, is now dragged into the air with little resistance, falling in place alongside Lute.

Adam: Hell is forever, whether you like it or not. ♫

♫ Had their chance to behave better. ♫

♫ Now they boil in the pot. ♫

Charlie pulls herself up in time to see four golden exorcists crawl out of the walls and stalk towards her, blocking her in on all sides before flying up to join the performance as Adam’s backup dancers.

The short moment of relief Charlie feels upon them leaving is quickly being replaced with growing anger at the group of angels and their smug faces. She likes to think she’s a patient person but she’s starting to think not even a SAINT would have enough patience for this guy. And Eve doesn’t even have the manners to look at me during this dumb song, she seethes to herself.

Adam: Long as I've got your attention, I guess I should probably mention. ♫

♫ That we made the determination. ♫

♫ To move up the next Extermination! ♫

“What?!” Charlie’s eyes widen, anger turning to horror in a heartbeat. That can’t be right, she thinks, there’s no way they could just do that!

Adam proves her wrong, flaunting an official-looking document in the air. All the page says is ‘I do what I want’ but Charlie is in no frame of mind to notice Adam’s attempt at humor. A fucking shame really, he thought it was hysterical.

Adam: Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts. ♫

♫ I know it's just been a week but we'll be back in six months! ♫

“Um, wait, you-,” Charlie is pushed out of the room, her plan following shortly after in a rain of paper. She throws herself at the door but only manages to catch a sadistic grin before it's slammed in her face. “Ugh, SHIT!”

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Wow that took me longer than I thought it would! I am tragically out of practice when it comes to writing so I hope it was okay.

Also please excuse the inconsistency in Eve's design, I'm experimenting with it a bit.

BONUS

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #writing #exorcist eve #exorcist eve au #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel writing

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expelumos · 7 years

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mom: why didn’t you do (insert an insignificant thing i can do anytime), i told you to do this 5h ago, get to work me, internally: yeah well you know, i asked you to do/help me with a lot of stuff too like idk help me go to therapy, finally get me new glasses, overall don’t yell at me whenever i’m so depressed i can't do anything and don’t blame me for literally everything but i don’t come into your room screaming about this stuff you know me, externally: sorry i forgot to do it

#sometimes i wonder how it feels to have a healthy relationship with your mom #and not be scared to get out of your room after she gets angry at you for a small thing #and overall not feel suicidal because of her sometimes #and then she's surprised i'd rather talk to my dad instead of her #lmao you know what my dad's reaction was to my new hair today?? he told me it looks cool and had no issues what so ever #with me doing it behind their backs bc hello its my hair its my decision im 17 #and my mom's? she saw it and dropped her bag then got really angry and left the house and almost made a scene but someone was at our house #so she didnt want to yell at me in front of everybody probably #and now she told me that i couldve just told her #and im like???? i said i wanna dye all of my hair and you said no so why the fuck would i ask again knowing the answer already????#and she still doesnt get it???? and shes like you couldve saved yourself a lot of nerves if you told me #and im like lmao dont think so highly of yourself my biggest worry about this whole thing was if im gonna have enough dye #since i already knew what your reaction was gonna be #idk im angry and this is a stupid rant so ignore me i'll delete it later #personal #amy says

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jananakookie · 3 years

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Beauty | kth - Chapter 13.1

Pairing: Taehyung x OC (Reader) , slight Jimin x OC

Genre/Tags: Strangers to Lovers, Idiots to lovers (kinda), single dad; humor (-ish?), slow burn, angst, fluff, smut

Chapter Warnings: angst, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of depression & anxiety

Word count: 10k

Series summary: Taehyung knows what beauty is. He sees it every day.

You feel like you haven’t seen real beauty in a while but you think you remember what it looked like.

Or maybe you both have no idea?

Previous Chapter / Chapter List / Next Chapter

Chapter 13.1

“I’m a dick.“

Jungkook tilts his head a little as he looks at his best friend. “I mean… Do you expect me to disagree or something?“ He asks the older guy, looking rather smug while doing it. “’Cause we established that already.“

Taehyung covers his face with his hands, sighing deeply into them. “It’s not unlikely that she didn't want me there anyway, is it?“ With hopeful eyes, he looks at Jungkook but quickly covers his face with his hands again and groans in despair when he sees the look on his best friend's face.

“We could most likely answer that question without having to speculate if you would have shown the decency to… you know… stay.“ The younger one grimaces.

“Tell me again why I’m having this conversation with you and not with Namjoon?“ Taehyung mutters, glaring at him.

“Because he would yell at you and you said, and I quote: “I'd rather be insulted and made fun of by you than be yelled at and put down by Joon because at least, I can't take you seriously“. And then you said something about me being a better friend and way better looking or something…“

Cocking a brow, Taehyung looks at him. “I most definitely didn’t say that last part.“

“Whatever. Can't remember. Maybe I just added it in my head because we both know it’s true, but you’re much too proud to admit it.“ Jungkook shrugs.

Taehyung isn't in the mood to joke around, and he can't concentrate on anything but you anyway, so it comes with no surprise when he doesn't respond to Jungkook at all and instead continues with his whining. “Fuck, what should I do now, Jungkook? She didn’t even call…“

“I know, and I already told you it’s because you were a dick.“ Jungkook declares. “Honestly, how often do you want me to repeat it?“

Ignoring his best friend's not-helpful inputs, Taehyung takes his phone out of his pocket, looking through his mentions once again. No missed calls from you, no new messages from you either. He fucked up.

Groaning, he throws his phone to the other side of the couch in frustration.“I should have stayed and been there for her.“

“I mean, you’re just repeating what I told you earlier, but… sure. You’re right. You’re a genius.“ Picking some dirt from under his nails, Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I don’t get why you don’t just call her instead. Why make her come to you if you’re the one who fucked up?"

“Because I'm not sure if that would be the right thing to do. Maybe she’s mad and doesn’t want to talk to me. Or she just needs more time, or—“

“Or she’s with him and has already forgotten about you.“ Jungkook thinks out loud, instantly regretting it when he sees Taehyung’s spiteful glare in his direction. “I was joking.“ He quickly says, trying to mask a smile.

“Jokes are supposed to be funny. All yours do is make me even more anxious.“ Taehyung states, biting his lip in his nervous state.

Patting his best friend’s back, Jungkook tries to comfort him. “I’m sorry, man. You know how I am. Just trying to loosen you up a little bit.“ He smiles. “___ wouldn’t do that. Have a little faith in her, come on. She’s never done anything that would even remotely justify you doubting her this much.“

Hearing Jungkook say that makes him feel even worse, but he knows that he’s right. He’s probably just overreacting, that's all. “I don’t know why I am like that.“ Taehyung sighs, simply staring ahead.

Jungkook clears his throat, throwing his arm around Taehyung's shoulder in the process. “It’s not that hard to explain, actually. You’re just abnormally insecure when it comes to relationships.“ The younger one states, sounding sure about his words. “You’ve been this way with Jisoo, it just showed a little differently back then. You did everything she wanted you to, broke contacts, changed your personality, changed your style blablabla, all because you were afraid she would leave you. Now you’re doing the same with ___, but instead of following her like a lost little puppy, you do the other extreme and push her away as soon as you fear that something isn’t right. She had a past before you, just like you had a past before her. You dealt with yours, she hasn’t. And now her past is about to catch up with her but instead of being there for her and helping her through it, you decided to make a run for it and come to me to cry on my shoulder about it.“

Seeing the way Taehyung only gapes at him, he chuckles slightly. “I know, I know. I’m hot when I say smart stuff, eh? God, I would bang me too…“

“What should I do now? What if my behavior drove her into his arms even more?“ Taehyung asks without responding to him again, smoothly bypassing Jungkook's last comment.

Jungkook only rolls his eyes. “What if you’re just overreacting as always? It could have a thousand reasons why she hasn’t called yet. I’d say, wait till after work, and if you haven’t heard anything by then, you drive straight to hers and try to talk this out.“

Thinking about it for a while, the older one nods his head once. “Yeah… guess I could do that then.“ Taehyung sighs, not really happy with that solution, but in the end, it may just be the best he has.

“And don't let your insecurities stop you from showing her why she needs to be with you instead of him. Trust me, it's time to come clean with her. Tell her how you feel and what you want, and don't simply assume she knows just because you made her come once. 'Cause that's not the only achievement you should be going for.“ Jugkook adds with a scoff, making Taehyng instantly glare at him.

“Okay, you've had your five minutes of wisdom already. Now don't get carried away.“

At this, Jungkook laughs and even Taehyung cracks somewhat of a smile. “Thanks for being there for me. Even if it's in your own, annoyingly weird way. I appreciate that.“

“Wanna make out? I won't tell ___, I promise.“

And with that being said, Taehyung pushes a giggling Jungkook away from him with as much forth as he can bring up before getting up from the couch at once.

“Would it be alright for you to watch Hyejin today?“ He then asks while grabbing his jacket.

“A little short notice, don't you think?" Jungkook smirks, obviously still playing around, but he soon after nods his head approvingly. “Promise I won't lose her.“

“Honestly, Jungkook. I'm counting on you, so don't mess up.“

“Calm down,“ Jungkook groans, now standing up as well, joining Taehyung at the door. “I'll take care of everything, while you make up with ___.“

Taehyung doesn't miss the winks his best friend sends his way but deliberately doesn't comment on it.

“If you don't come home, I'll take it as a good sign, alright?"

Taehyung doesn't comment on that either, but Jungkook still catches the grin that his best friend tries to stifle before he disappears in his room to get ready for work.

The weather is incredibly changeable today which makes the photoshoot not exactly easier. Taehyung can't complain too much, though, because while the models are inevitably on the verge of freezing to death, he can at least stand behind the camera in his warm jacket.

“Nari, could you maybe not look like you're stuck in a freezer for one second?" He sighs, realizing he once again can't use any of the shots he just took.

“Excuse me? I might as well be stuck in a freezer. It wouldn't change anything at all. This is ridiculous. Why do we have to wear almost nothing while promoting a stupid hotel?“ She jitters, sounding far less annoyed than she probably would under normal circumstances.

“I know it sucks, but it's not my fault, nor is it my decision. If you want to complain, you're very welcome to go to Mr. Han and tell him how crappy all of this is.“ He shoots back, earning only a glare from her. Sighing, he tells her to get back into position as she does right after. “Look, the sooner we get it over with, the sooner we can wrap it up, and you can wear warmer clothes.“

She doesn't answer and instead simply follows his instructions, desperate to be done here as soon as possible. But right after Taehyung takes the first few photos, he hears someone calling his name from a faraway distance.

“One second, I'm almost done.“ He mumbles, subconsciously knowing they won't hear him but he's concentrating on Nari at the moment and doesn't care.

“Hey!“

Already annoyed by the still unknown person, Taehyung averts his gaze from his camera for a second and looks up. He’s a little surprised to see someone jog up to him, hastily waving his arms as if to get his attention. He doesn’t recognize him at first, but with a closer look, he feels like his eyes are about to fall out of his head when he sees no other than Jimin being that person.

When he finally reaches him, he stands in front of him for a while, smiling like they’re long-lost friends or something when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Jimin extends his hand, much like he did last night, but this time, Taehyung actually reacts to it and shakes it on the spot. “Your name was Taehyung, wasn't it? You’re a friend of ___’s?“

Taehyung needs a moment to process that Jimin, your ex-boyfriend, who probably came here with the simple purpose of winning you back is now here, smiling at him.

“Uh… yes.“ He suddenly coughs. “And you’re Jimin.“

“That I am.“ He laughs, withdrawing his hand. “The one and only.“

“Uh, I’m sorry but… Can I help you? Because I don’t wanna be rude, but I’m kinda working and I don't wanna get into trouble.“

“Oh! Of course, sorry. I was just on my way to ___’s actually and I coincidentally saw you here.“ He rakes his fingers through his hair as if debating what to say next. Taehyung can see that he wants to say more, but he watches how his gaze turns to the floor instead. “Thought you’d have a minute to talk, maybe?“ Jimin then asks, looking up again with hopeful eyes.

Taehyung can’t say he isn’t surprised by his sudden request to talk to him because why would he want that in the first place? Does he know something is going on between him and you? Maybe he put two and two together or maybe you told him something. He doesn’t know, but he doesn’t want to find out either.

And what if it’s even worse and Jimin and you got back together, and he just wants to tell him to fuck off?

What suddenly shakes him out of his thoughts is the sight of Mr. Han, already stomping towards him from afar, and it makes a shiver run down his spine when he sees him fixing his eyes on him in particular as to see what he's up to. “Sorry, uh… I—I just told you, I’m working.“ As he sees his boss coming closer, he immediately starts sweating, not wanting to get in any trouble again. “Sorry Jimin, my boss is very strict. If he sees me talking to you—“

Turning around to see who Taehyung has his eyes fixed on, Jimin squints his eyes to see better. “No problem, I’ll take care of it.“ He suddenly says, “Which one is your boss?“ He then asks, making Taehyung once again look at him weirdly.

“Which one? Wait, what?“

Before Taehyung can say any more, Nari suddenly appears next to him. “He’s the one who looks like he has a micropenis and never sleeps with his wife just so she doesn’t find out.“

Jimin’s eyes wander for only a split second before he nods with an affirmative “got it“ before he’s already on his way to him with fast, confident steps.

Neither Taehyung nor Nari immediately realizes what he’s about to do, but when they finally catch on, they both look like they’re about to die.

“Why the fuck did you tell him that?!“ Taehyung starts to rage. “Mr. Han will literally kill me!“

“How was I supposed to know he wants to talk to him? And besides, don't worry, he will definitely die before you.“

Groaning in frustration, Taehyung continues to keep a sharp eye on Jimin as the ladder finally approaches his boss whose vein on his neck already looks like it’s about to burst just from simply glaring at people. Geez, he should be glad that Jimin will be history in a few seconds, but somehow he feels sorry for him. The poor guy has no idea what’s about to come.

He can’t even look at him so he believes it’d be best if he just averts his eyes but it’s like a car crash, he can’t look away. And so he watches in horror when he sees Jimin speak his first words to the grumpy little dwarf.

But nothing happens.

Instead, he sees something probably no one has ever seen before: His boss is… laughing?

“Tae, am I hallucinating?“

Taehyung faintly hears Nari's voice while he watches the scene unfold in front of him. “Would seem more likely to me than that this is actually happening right now.“ He answers, sounding barely mentally present. “That never happened before. I never even saw him smile. And with him, he’s laughing?“

“Who is that guy because I need him to be around forever.“ Nari jokes as she smacks Taehyung’s arm with a laugh of her own.

“I wouldn't mind either.“ Byeol agrees, now joining the scene as well. “Is he a friend of yours, and if yes, can you please introduce me?“

Taehyung doesn’t know how to answer because, well, what should he say?

Oh, he’s just the ex-boyfriend of the girl I like. He merely came here to win her back, no biggie.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to give her an answer, when Jimin starts laughing loudly, pats Mr. Han’s back a few times, and shakes his hand after. He then comes walking back to the two girls and Taehyung, who are watching him carefully. And they’re not the only ones. Jimin has the eyes of everybody on the set on him, but he doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Alright, you’re excused for about half an hour.“ He beams, looking at a gobsmacked Taehyung who isn’t in the right state to give him an answer. “I promise, I won’t take too long. I just want to talk about something, and given how you seem to be close enough to ___, I guess you’re the right one for this.“

“How did you do that?“ Taehyung asks cocking a brow at Jimin. He didn’t trust him before, but he sure as hell doesn’t trust him now. What just happened isn't normal, and he will be sure to look for three little sixes, tattooed somewhere on this guy.

Jimin frowns as he looks at him in wonder. “What do you mean?“

“Mr. Han never laughs. He never even smiles, and he sure as hell does not give people half an hour off for them to have a chat with someone. He didn’t even want to give me a day off when Hyejin had a fever, so… What are you?“

Jimin just falls into a fit of small giggles as he shakes his head at the younger male. “That my friend,“ He grins, “is charm. I just know when and how to use it. I saved ___ from getting a speeding ticket more than once.“ He shrugs casually, keeping that grin on his face.

It doesn’t look arrogant, though. Somehow, he manages to still look somewhat humble.

“Whatever it is, you have to teach him.“ Nari chimes in, carelessly linking her arm with Jimin's as she smiles up at him with big eyes. “Our Taehyung here is his favorite punching bag.“

“Sure, I’ll show you how it’s done.“ He looks at Taehyung with nothing but kindness in his eyes, and Taehyung almost feels bad that he wished for him to catch the worst explosive diarrhea of his life last night.

“I'm Byeol, by the way, and I'm single.“ Byeol suddenly winks, squeezing herself between Jimin and Nari and placing one hand flat on his chest. Taehyung can't help but roll his eyes while suppressing his laugh. Shameless as always, but if Jimin decided to go with one of them, he'd at least leave you alone.

Jimin, on the other hand, looks a little baffled by their sudden assault on him, but he quickly shakes it off again and replaces it with his typical charming smile. “Jimin. Nice to meet you.“

“Great so tell me, Jimin, do you have a girlfriend?" Nari then asks, unmistakably catching him off guard as he even starts to blush a little.

Before he can answer, though, Taehyung quickly intervenes, not wanting to have this conversation in front of everyone. So he excessively clears his throat and calls for Minho, his colleague, to come over. Luckily, it doesn't take Minho a few seconds before he's standing in front of him. “Take over for a second? I have to take care of something real quick, and then I'll be right back. Mr. Han knows what's up.“

Minho looks surprised but nods his head in agreement. “Can't say I'm happy to be working with this brat, but if the devil himself allows you to, I guess I don't have any other choice, right?" Minho sighs, looking at Nari, who already gives him the middle finger with a grimace.

“Thanks, man. Promise I'll be quick.“ Taehyung pats his coworker's back a single time before motioning with his head for Jimin to follow him.

And that’s how he finds himself only a few minutes later, sitting on a brick wall a couple of meters from the set, next to Jimin — your ex-boyfriend of ten years. Ain’t nothing weird about that.

The atmosphere is awkward, and it's not like it wasn't expected, but it's still unbearable. Thankfully Jimin is the first one to speak up right after they sat down. “Sorry for just blindsiding you like that and demanding for you to listen to my whining. We don’t even know each other. I can understand that this might be odd to you.“

Yes, absolutely. “No, no. Nothing is odd.“ Taehyung says instead. Yeah, alright, he just can't bring himself to be rude to him, okay? The guy is nothing but friendly, and not returning it (even if he might have a reason) would just make him the asshole. He also can't imagine that you would find that behavior particularly good of him. Especially, since you're always defending Jimin anyway.

So he has to play it cool, try to figure out what he wants from him,, and just get it over with.

“Sorry, I don’t understand what it is exactly that you want from me.“ Taehyung suddenly admits, looking at Jimin with expectation.

Jimin laughs at that as he leans back a little. “I know, it’s out of the blue, but I thought that maybe you could help me.“ He clears his throat, and Taehyung can see how he nervously fiddles with his hands. “With ___ and all, you know?“

“___?“ Taehyung stutters, “y-you want my help regarding ___?“ He just needs to hear it again so he can grasp what Jimin just asked of him.

Taehyung knows his opponent probably doesn’t know what’s going on between him and you, and he doesn’t mean to make it this awkward, but… dammit. Asking that of him is just cruel.

“I know we just met once and I had a feeling that we didn’t hit it off, but you’re the only one I can ask. I don’t know any of her friends here and… I just don’t know what to do.“ Jimin ruffles his hair as he sighs loudly. “Obviously, I don’t know much, but I guessed you guys must be close enough if you let her babysit your daughter. Is that right?“

Taehyung gulps, but he tries to mask it with a little smile. “Yeah. Guess you could say that. She kind of saved Hyejin on the day we first met.“ He chuckles, reminiscing the day again. It feels like it was ages ago, even if it’s only been a few months in reality.

“How did she do that?“ Jimin questions, seemingly interested in the story. Taehyung can see the way his eyes shine brighter and he guesses it has to be because of you.

He wonders if his eyes do the same.

“Ah, you know, my useless best friend was supposed to watch Hyejin while I went to work and he somehow managed to lose her. ___ found her and brought her to the police station. Who knows what would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there.“ He adds. “Hyejin immediately took a liking to her, and seeing how I was in desperate need of someone to look after her, ___ seemed to be a perfect choice.“

“Yes, all of that sounds exactly like her.“ Jimin smiles, eyes permanently locked to his intertwined hands. “She’s always been the type of person to save the day.“ He laughs. “Damn, she saved me more times than she should have. My big mouth tends to get me into trouble easily but with her… I felt like I was invincible.“ Grinning slightly, he stares into the distance. “She’s my guardian angel.“

“Sounds more like a nanny to me.“ Taehyung adds, thinking he only said it to himself, but he hears Jimin chuckle at that.

Frowning deeply, he rubs his hands against the fabric of his jeans. The way Jimin talks about you is like he just jumped out of a picture-perfect Disney movie and Taehyung has no trouble buying every single word he says. But there’s just something he doesn’t get.

How is it possible to love someone so dearly but then manage to fuck it up the way he did?

How is it possible to love someone so much and still hurt them like this? How can it happen that, despite all their feelings, someone manages to drive everything they had with their significant other against the wall in just a couple of seconds?

How can you love someone in this way and still have someone else come in between?

“There’s something you need to explain to me.“ He pauses but when he feels Jimin’s eyes burn into the side of his head, he continues, “So, I get it, you love her.“ He states, finally looking at the other guy patiently waiting for him to get to the point, “why did you throw it all away for someone you barely knew? I mean, that just doesn’t make any sense.“

Jimin stays silent for a moment. Taehyung can see how he nervously bites his lip. “I knew she told you. I would’ve done the same in her place.“

“She never even talked badly about you.“ Taehyung quickly says, watching how Jimin’s ears perk up at his words. “She did tell us the story. But she never… She never made you out to be a bad person or anything like that. She tried to justify your actions but I just– I don't see it.“

The corners of Jimin's mouth visibly drop at that. “Why does that make me feel even worse about the whole story?“

“Because it should.“ Taehyung leans back as well, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he shoots Jimin a testing look. “It makes you realize more who and what you’ve lost.“

Jimin nods, sighing after. “Yeah…“

“Which brings us back to my earlier question.“ Taehyung persists, mustering his opponent intensely.

Realizing Taehyung won’t back down, Jimin groans and shuts his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.“

Upon hearing his lame excuse, Taehyung scoffs. “Is it hard to explain, or do you not know? You should probably decide on one version.“

“Look, I don’t know if you’ll understand—“

“I can try.“ Taehyung interrupts, shrugging his shoulders carelessly as he throws him a look. “Not gonna lie, I am biased. But I’m also curious.“

Jimin squints at him while barely moving his head. He doesn’t want to look him in the eyes. He can’t take any more of those judging looks people give him whenever he has to re-tell the story. It's the same look that Hoseok gave him, the same look his parents gave him when he had to tell them why you weren't coming over anymore. Yes, he fucked up and he knows it but he’s hurting too, even if no one cares about it or thinks he deserves it. It takes a toll on him as well. And to be honest, he simply feels like he hit rock bottom by now. Not that he wants people's pity, not at all, but he just wishes someone would try to understand him too.

“First of all, you have to know that it wasn’t about Minji. At all. I didn’t tell ___ about her because I was fantasizing about being with her or whatever. I know that’s probably what you’re thinking, given how that’s what everybody thinks whenever they ask me about what happened and I get it. It seems obvious, I know, but it's utter bullshit.“ Jimin looks mad while saying all that. As if he felt personally attacked by these accusations. As if it were so inconceivable that one could believe that’s the truth. Taehyung can practically feel the frustration pouring out of him.

“I never wanted to be with anyone but ___. I still don’t. What happened with Minji was… Well, I wish I would know, honestly.“ He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. “We tried to ignore it. Both of us. Because as soon as I realized that she may have grown a little too interested, I told her that it will never happen. And she accepted that. She knew about ___ and she knew that I wouldn’t leave her and she didn’t want that either. She didn’t want to come between us. That wasn’t her intention at all.“

“Jimin, I don’t need to know all of that. All I wanted was the reason—“

“I felt guilty.“ Jimin suddenly says, cutting Taehyung off mid-sentence. “I tried to keep my distance but I somehow still thought of her when I was home. When I was with ___.“ He looks down in shame when he says that. “It was just mutual attraction. Just a spark. Nothing more I swear. But at the same time, it was too much to just forget about or ignore while I had to see her almost every day. And the guilt was eating me up. Even up to the point where I let it out on ___. I was moody towards her, distant even. That was the last thing I wanted. So I just needed to do something about it.“

Taehyung notices, how he scratches the skin on his arm rather fiercely. Must be a nervous habit, and he doesn't comment on it, although it looks like he's almost about to scratch himself bloody if he keeps it up.

“I knew she’d be mad and hurt but I thought we would talk about it. I thought she would at least let me explain. Never in a million years did I think she’d break up right on the spot and run away to fucking Seoul without a single chance for me to reach her.“ He's unmistakably mad now, this cannot be overlooked but Taehyung knows he's not mad at you. He's mad at himself. It's clear from the way he hurts himself while reminiscing the memories as if to punish himself.

Slowly withdrawing his eyes from Jimin's arm, Taehyung thinks about everything Jimin just told him. Admittedly, up to this point, the story sounded quite comprehensible, but there is something that Taehyung still doesn't understand. “She didn’t leave right away, though. Why didn’t you ever go to her parents’ house and fix things?“

If he thought Jimin looked repentant before, he now looks completely regretful. And he doesn’t even have to confirm anything before Taehyung rolls his eyes in disbelieve. “So much for: I didn’t want anyone but ___.“

“I didn’t! I don’t.“ Jimin quickly says, wide eyes looking at his opponent in terror. “I was drunk, and I was heartbroken. You don’t understand.“

“Poor you. Want a hug?“ Taehyung pouts, knowing full well that it would only add more salt to the wound. He ignores Jimin’s glare and simply looks past him. Not that he cares, Jimin deserves it. You have suffered too but didn’t run to the next best dickhead either. “You’re playing the victim.“

“I’m not. I know what I did wrong.“ Jimin snaps back. “There were a lot of factors that came together and influenced my senses that night. I could no longer think straight. As soon as it came to my mind that I just...“ He pauses, closing his eyes and shaking his head with a sour look on his face. “It was immediately over, I promise. I hadn't even seen her again till a couple of weeks ago when I went to the studio for the first time in months. And I never even thought of her either. Only ___. She's it for me.“

Shit, that hurt. Why does he have to sound so sincere? Taehyung actually believes him, and it fucks with his head because he's not supposed to. Jimin is supposed to be the asshole ex-boyfriend who doesn't deserve you but instead, he's sitting here, withdrawing tears as he confesses about his undying love for you. This is not good.

"So, how do you know it won't happen again, huh?“ Taehyung quietly asks, staring at his lap. “If you felt “a spark“ with someone else once, it surely can happen again.“

Jimin smiles, shaking his head confidently. “No, it won't. I know it won't.“ He notices the frown on Taehyung's forehead and catches him opening his mouth to counter against it, but he doesn't let him. “It's only natural for you to not believe me in this, and there's no way I can explain it to you, but I'm a thousand percent sure.“

Well, what else is there to say. He's certain it won't happen again and Taehyung doesn't believe him because people change and if something like this can happen once, it can happen again. It's not rocket science, it's simply how life and people work. They're unpredictable. Jimin didn't want it to happen the first time either and yet, here they are. Logically thinking, he can never be sure about it not happening again. But Taehyung already realized that nothing he has or wants to say will change anything.

Jimin made up his mind. He believes whatever his heart and his brain tell him right now and you will believe whatever your heart and your brain will tell you. And if you decide to put your trust in him again, then that's your decision, and he can't change it.

All he can do is hope for the best. Whatever the best is.

“I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreaks too.“ He quietly says after a while of silence between the two. “I know it hurts and you aren't always able to think straight or act rationally.“ He catches Jimin's curious gaze on him. “What I'm trying to say is, I don't believe you're a bad guy either. And heartbreak sucks.“

Jimin nods. “Definitely the worst I ever felt.“ He says, brushing his hair out of his face. “How long does it usually last?“

His question comes unexpected to Taehyung, and he is on the verge of throwing a funny remark but surpasses the urge as soon as he sees the look on Jimin’s face. So he swallows what he actually wanted to say and thinks about a more fitting answer.

“It differs from relationship to relationship, I guess.“ He shrugs, “For me personally it never lasted very long.“

Nodding again, Jimin clears his throat. “Well, for me, it’s been eight months but it still feels like it was yesterday.“ He pauses for a while, as does Taehyung. “I truly, honestly regret everything that happened. I hate myself for it and if there is anything that makes me at least a little bit happy these days, it’s the certainty that she is obviously much better off than I am.“ He states.

“Never expected that I could ever surpass the hatred I felt for myself at the time of the accident, but... here we are.“ he suddenly adds, making the atmosphere even more depressed than it already was.

And suddenly, Taehyung feels like the bad guy again. Here he is, desperately trying to find evidence that Jimin is nothing but a piece of shit who doesn't deserve you but instead he sympathizes with him.

He hates to admit it but no matter what Jimin did, he really does love you. There’s no doubt in that. And it stings, coming to terms with the fact that you were right. He may not be a bad guy after all. And that would be great if it wouldn’t lower his own chances with you in the process.

“So, how did it go last night?“ Taehyung then asks, wanting to bring the conversation forward. He's dying to know how things are between you and him as of now.

At least, so far it doesn't look like you've reconciled either, though he'd rather hear it directly from Jimin. That would at least calm his nerves a little bit. Besides, Jimin was on his way to see you earlier — what’s the deal with that? Why would he need to meet you again today if you already talked last night?

Jimin scoffs, shaking his head. “Not too well, honestly. That’s kind of why I asked for your help. I thought maybe she told you something… I don’t know. Do you think there’s anything I could do to make her forgive me?“

Taken aback by Jimin’s question, Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up. He doesn’t even know what to say to that, it’s that ridiculous.

“I know, what you’re thinking,“ no, Taehyung doesn’t think he knows, “But it’s— I think she doesn’t want me back.“ Jimin’s voice breaks at the last word but he quickly gets himself together and clears his throat. “I was confident coming here, you know? I didn’t think it would be easy, trying to get her back, but I sure as hell didn’t think it would be so…. pointless either.“

“Why did you come here?“ Taehyung asks him.

“Because I love her.“ Jimin shrugs, looking at him as if it wasn’t obvious. It is, but for some reason, Taehyung just likes to torture himself. “I came here because I love her more than anything and anybody else in this world.“ Jimin says with a shaky breath. “And I can’t do it without her, I don’t want to. I honestly think I can’t live without her.“

At that, Taheuyng looks at him with a frown. “Don’t say stuff like that.“ He sighs, turning his gaze back to stare into the cloudy sky.

“No… I didn’t mean it like that, don’t worry.“ Jimin says. “I can live without her, sure… but I don’t think I can ever be happy.“

Now, this Taehyung understands. He knows exactly what he means. But as much as he does understand him, he also knows that this is definitely not the right way to approach this.

“That isn’t healthy.“ He breathes, noticing how Jimin looks at him through his peripheral view. “You shouldn't make all your joy dependent on one person.“ He tells him, turning his head to look at him too. “Not only is that unhealthy for you, but it also isn’t fair on her. She shouldn’t live her life just to make you happy.“

Jimin frowns, wondering if this really is the image Taehyug (and other people) has of him. “No, that’s… That’s not it. I mean, I make her happy too. Or at least there was a time where I did.“

Taehyung doesn’t say anything to that anymore and for a while, they just fall into a beat of silence.

“I was sixteen when I met her first.“ Jimin then speaks up after a while. “She had me from the start.“ Laughing slightly, he squints at the sun that suddenly starts to come out for just a second before it disappears again behind a relatively large cloud.

He doesn’t even notice how Taehyung loses the intense stare on his lap and instead fixes his eyes on him.

“I thought she was way too cool to be my girlfriend and apparently, she thought so too because it took me a whole ass year before she finally agreed to go out with me.“ A ghost of a smile spreads on his face as he’s picking his nails in thought. “At the latest from then on, we were inseparable. For a whole decade.“ Turning his head in Taehyung’s direction, he smiles at him again. Not minding how the latter doesn’t return it.

“Have you ever met someone like that?“ He then asks Taehyung.

Turning his head quickly, Taehyung clears his throat but doesn’t answer. He can’t. It’s a good thing that Jimin doesn’t even notice, seeing how he’s way too deep in his thoughts. Taehyung catches how Jimin once again scratches that particular spot on the inside of his arm. This time, however, Jimin sightly angles it a little differently afterward, giving Taehyung the chance to see the slightly darker lines on the skin of his arm.

“What’s that?“ He instantly voices his thoughts, not caring if his question might be too intrusive or not. He already has a theory and he just wants to hear if he’s right about it.

Following Taehyung’s gaze onto his arm, Jimin scoffs amusedly. “My battle scar.“ The older one grins, examining the little spot on his otherwise flawless skin. “At least that’s what ___ calls it.“

It looks like a bite. That’s the first thought that’s running through Taehyung’s head when he sees it, and it makes him wonder if it has something to do with yours.

Seeming to notice his questioning gaze, Jimin clears his throat. “Has she ever told you?“ He asks. “About what happened?“

Taehyung nods. So he was correct with his assumptions then. It does have something to do with you. “Didn’t know you got hurt as well, though.“

“Eh,“ Jimin shrugs, “Barely as you can see. Unfortunately, between the both of us she was the one who got the worst of it.“ He contorts his face in shame as he tries to hide the scar on his arm again. “That beast got me when I desperately tried to get it off of her. It wouldn’t budge.“ He sighs, reminiscing the memories of the night he hates to think about.

“It wasn’t fair. The only reason she was even there was because I dragged her with me. She didn’t want to, she just did it because of me. To make me happy. And all I get is a fucking bite mark on my arm whereas she was in the hospital for months, in pain. And that wasn’t even the worst part. No, the worst part came after. Depression, anxiety… all because of me.“ He grits. “Yet another time where I was the reason for her being hurt.“

Taehyung remembers thinking that the accident was with no doubt Jimin's fault the night you told them the story. And yet... now that he hears it again, this time from Jimin himself, he sees it with different eyes. After all, he did go back and try to help you; even got hurt himself in the process.

He never intended for you to be hurt. Only now does he become aware of this. Sure, he never blindly assumed that Jimin wanted you to be attacked of course, but Taehyung has never imagined before that it must have been a cruel time for him as well. He can't imagine having to watch someone, especially someone he loves, being brutally hurt in front of him.

“That’s not your fault.“ Taehyung mutters, trying to sound as convincing as possible while he still tries to get rid of the awkwardness he feels around him. He does mean it, but he doesn’t want to sound like he’s just trying to show sympathy in pity.

“Look, I do believe you genuinely mean that, but just try to put yourself in my shoes for a second. Just imagine the person you love more than anything else in your life got hurt the way she did because of some embarrassingly idiotic idea you had.“ He looks at Taehyung and nods with a humorless grin when he sees the look on his face. “Exactly. You wouldn’t believe anyone who told you it wasn’t your fault either.“

Taehyung nods, clearing his throat after. “My opinion doesn’t matter anyway. ___ doesn’t blame you, so who cares?“

“I care. Because it’s my fault, and there’s nothing and no one that will ever make me think otherwise.“ He states. But his deep scowl vanishes soon after as it turns into an expression of pure sadness.

“It has only brought us even closer together, though.“ He proudly says. “We were sure that if we could get through this, we could get through anything.“ He pauses as he wipes at his eyes quickly before clearing his throat. “I can’t believe we came to this point. I would have never thought.“ He breathes, staring at the sky. “She can’t even look me in the eyes anymore. It’s like… I don’t even know. But it’s not like we spent the past ten years as a couple together.“

Having listened carefully to every single word Jimin just said, Taehyung fiddles with the seems of his sleeves. “Well, that's a shame but try to understand her a little. It's not like she can just forget what happened.“ Oof, he knows he's salty, but can you blame him? He can't just sit here and listen to him anymore when all he truly wants is for him to forget about you and leave again.

God, he knows that sounds awful, especially after everything he just learned about you and him, but this is sheer torture.

“Again. I made a mistake, Taehyung.“ This is probably the first time Jimin’s voice is anything but friendly while addressing him. And for a moment, they both glare at each other before Jimin sighs and looks away with a shake of his head.

“I know you don't have any ill intentions but do you think coming here against her will and backing her against a wall to try and make her come back to you was a fair decision?“ Taehyung snaps back.

“At least, I think that was necessary, yes.“ Jimin states, sounding absolutely confident about his decision.

“Well, I think you're selfish.“ Taehyung shrugs.

Gaping at him, Jimin scoffs. “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?“

“Who am I?“ Taehyung mocks, smirking right after. He has a lot to say. He wants to tell him about his relation to you, and he wants to tell him to fuck off and leave you alone but he doesn’t. It’s not his decision to make and he knows it. He won’t be like Jimin. He will respect your boundaries. “I’m her friend, and I deeply care about her.“

Jimin’s hardened gaze immediately softens at that. “And I’m grateful for that.“ He says. “But I love her. And I care about her too, believe it or not. That’s why I even told her about Minji in the first place for god’s sake! Nothing happened. But I was so confused about my feeling at that time, that I just couldn’t look her in the eyes at a certain point. It felt like I was cheating even if nothing physical ever happened.“

“You do know there is an actual term for that though, right? And some people would count emotional cheating as cheating too.“ Taehyung intervenes sharply.

Jimin lowers his head in shame at that particular word. He never wanted to be associated with it but he knows Taheyung speaks the truth. This is the reality of the situation. no matter how much he tries to sugarcoat it. “I know. And despite what you think of me, I don’t wanna play the victim here. I know what I did wrong, and I also know that it will take a lot for her to forgive me—“

“No, it won’t because she’s way too forgiving and you know that. But it will take her a lot to trust you again. And that’s what’s standing in between you two. It’s trust. She lost it. And that’s something that isn’t regained just by simply being able to forgive.“ Taehyung states, sounding somewhat frustrated himself.

Jimin has noticed from the beginning how invested Taehyung seems to be in this issue, and that it really seems to mean a lot to him that you're okay. It's endearing, and it's probably the only reason why he hasn't lashed out on him yet whenever he feels like he's going a little too far with his accusations against him. Taehyung was there for you when he wasn't and it means a lot to Jimin, knowing you weren't on your own and had people who helped you pick up the pieces he caused.

“What is left for me to do now?“ Jimin then asks with a deep sigh after he let Taehyung’s words sink in for a moment. It's hard for him to admit it, but Taehyung is right. Lack of trust is probably exactly what's stopping you from coming back to him. “The hope that the two of us would eventually get back together was the only thing that somehow kept me afloat. What am I supposed to do now? She doesn’t want me anymore.“

“She does, though.“ Taehyung hears himself say in an almost whisper but Jimin hears him loud and clear.

“What?" His head immediately snaps in Taehyung's direction as he stares at him. “Did she tell you that?“

The glint of hope in his eyes is sheer torture for Taehyung. He shouldn’t care about this guy's feelings especially given how he himself has feelings for you and the least he wants is for you to get back together with him but he also doesn’t want to lie and he doesn’t want to ruin anything for you if this is what you really want.

Defeatedly he nods, looking down at his hands that nervously fiddle with each other. “Yeah… She told me.“ His voice comes out as an almost whisper. He feels the huge lump of regret in his throat right after, though.

“Really?!“ Jimin screeches, almost falling off the wall in the process. “Wait— what did she say exactly?“

“Well, just that.“ Taehyung shrugs, not feeling like going into detail. “Just that she… loves you.“ he pauses, attempting to get rid of that bitter taste on his tongue as a result of bringing these words over his lips. “And that you’re a good guy or something like that. I don’t know.“ he then adds defeatedly.

"She said she loves me?" The look on Jimin's face when Taehyung simply nods at that is comparable to Hyejin's on Christmas morning. He looks like someone told him he won a billion dollars or something like that.

“That means there’s still a chance for me then…“ Jimin speaks to himself, completely forgetting about Taehyung’s existence for a moment when a sliver of hope sparks up inside of his chest. “Maybe it’s not all over just yet.“

Taehyung feels his chest tighten at that, wishing he just would’ve kept his mouth shut but, of course, he had to potentially ruin it for himself.

And now what? He can’t undo it. Now he has to wait and see what you're going to do about it.

As if something bit him, Jimin suddenly jumps off the brick wall. “I should go now. I was supposed to meet her half an hour ago.“

“And you kept her waiting for this long?“

“Ah, she's used to it. If I tell her I’ll be there at two she knows not to expect me until three. That’s the way we roll.“ Jimin jokes, cracking a smile that once again isn’t returned. He grabs his jacket, shrugging it on quickly before smiling at Taehyung. “Thank you, Taehyung. Talking to you was very helpful. I can’t thank you enough.“

Taehyung hurriedly gets up as well and reaches for his arm to keep him from leaving already. At this point, he’s just trying to win time without knowing what to say to him anymore. He doesn’t know what he should do but what’s even worse is, he doesn’t even know what he wants for himself.

Part of him knows letting him go to you and talk things out is inevitable and even necessary if he wants you to finally be able to completely finish with the whole thing, whereas another part of him desperately wants to keep Jimin as far away from you as possible, in fear you might choose him in the end. And he couldn’t even be mad at you. This guy is obviously utterly in love with you. He’s breaking apart and seeing him like that is hard even for Taehyung, so he can only imagine what it must be like for you. What if you’ll get back with him simply because seeing him like this makes you feel bad and lets old feelings bloom again?

Yes, that’s probably his biggest fear right now, and it’s not like it’s that far-fetched, is it?

You were so hurt because of him over such a long time and yet, you longed for him and wanted him back. You never made him the bad guy, defended him over and over again. You… loved him.

But is it really past tense, or do you maybe still love him but are simply too scared to fully engage in him again? If that’s the case, he can’t hold you back from being with the person you actually want to be with.

He would try if he had a clue that Jimin was just playing with you. That something like that will undoubtedly happen again, and that he will hurt you again without meaning to, but the thing is, even if he has his doubts as anyone would, Taehyung doesn't think that's going to happen. He believes Jimin when he says he won't hurt you ever again. Jimin lost you and had eight months to move on but couldn’t. He’s still hung up on you even to the extent that he blindly came to Seoul to look for you and get you back. After eight months! Would he really go to such lengths, say such things, and look so distressed if he wasn't one hundred percent serious about you?

Taehyung can only speculate, but for him, it looks like he has learned his lesson.

And you need to make your own decision too. If Jimin is the one you want, if he is the one who makes you happy and who you want to build a life with, then you should be able to do it without somebody else trying to get in-between that.

He should stay out of this.

Taehyung tries not to look too depressed when he calls Jimin's name to get his attention one last time.

“Just, please… Don’t ever hurt her again, alright? She deserves to be nothing but happy.“

Jimin stares at him for a while as he looks over his shoulder, not fully turning around due to the fact that he was on the run before Taehyung had called him back. His sudden request makes him halt, though.

Something about the way he said it, just… seems off. Of course, he’d want you to be happy, given that you seem to have become friends over the past eight months or something. But the tone in Taehyung’s voice, and the fact that he doesn’t dare to look him in the eyes and rather stares at the floor, seems odd for some reason. He can’t put his finger on it, though.

Arching one brow in confusion, Jimin decides to just brush it off. “Wouldn’t dream of it.“ He promises with a determined tone, waving at the slightly taller guy with an unsure smile on his lips before he finally turns back around and is on his way to you.

With his hands tucked inside the pockets of his pants, Taehyung clenches his teeth and glares ahead of him. It feels like he’s fighting every single bone in his body right now to not run after Jimin, tell him the truth, and beg for him to just leave instead — even if he knows it wouldn’t change a thing. Jimin won’t just give up on you like that.

To his luck, someone else joins him at that moment, helping him to suppress the urge to go after Jimin. The only problem is that it's Nari, of all people, who is probably the least qualified to give pep talks to people who need it.

“Well, who do we have here?“ Taehyung hears her voice ring out, and he internally groans already. Even if he does need to get his mind off things, Nari is not who he needs right now.

He turns around with an expression on his face that already tells her to fuck off but to his surprise, she doesn’t look flirty nor happy to see him. Instead, she’s standing there with her arms crossed in front of her chest, glaring at him. “You just have to be the biggest fucking idiot around here, don’t you?“ She then says, sighing right after with a disappointed shake of her head.

“Uhm, excuse me?“ Taehyung asks, taking her accusations to heart.

“Don’t act dumb, you little moron. I’m not stupid.“ She snaps.

Taehyung has no idea what she’s getting at and his face seems to tell, resulting in her sighing in annoyance while she rolls her eyes at him.

“You come here for the last couple of weeks in the best mood we’ve seen you in ever since we first met you, letting us assume that a girl may have an influence on that and now I come here, trying to get a little gossip and what do I hear?!“ She screeches, “You just told that guy to get himself your girl. What on earth is wrong with you?“

Stunned that he was apparently spied on and didn't even realize it, he gapes at her with his mouth wide open. “Why are you spying on me? And how do you get all this information by overhearing that single conversation? I didn’t even say anything about my feelings for her.“

“Oh please, Tae. I’m a model, not stupid. I'm beautiful and smart, I know you can't relate.“ She scoffs. “And I’d fight for the person that makes me happy which seems to be new territory for you as well.“

“I would fight for her, but there’s no use–“

“Spare me, I don't need to hear your lame excuses. Just say you’re too much of a coward to tell her and show her what she means to you.“ She interrupts him.

“I’m not! You know nothing about the actual situation, okay? He’s better for her. And she...“ He sighs once again, feeling sick already, “She loves him, she wants him. And she deserves to be with someone like him. They can start fresh and new, build their own family and just be happy. He won’t hurt her again—“

“Oh my god, can you please just shut your mouth, Tae? Sounds like you’re just looking for a way to justify your utter stupidity.“ She snaps with a deep scowl masking her face.

“You don’t have to be so mean. What the fuck…“ Taehyung mumbles a little taken aback. No need for her to be so brutally honest, jeez...

“See, that’s exactly the problem with guys like you.“ She clips.

“Guys like me?" He asks, waiting for her to elaborate.

“Yeah... the ones who think of themselves as chivalrous while you're actually just being stupid.“ She replies, not letting him say anything to that. “You think you know what's best for her and think you can make decisions for her, well guess what, that’s not your job! We’re not in the fucking sixteens’ century, Tae. Women choose their men these days. And we do know exactly what we want and what’s best for us. We don’t need you to tell us you're not good enough, we already know that, but that's just the general problem with men.“ She says, smacking his arm in the process, ignoring his little protest.

“Do you want the girl?“ She asks with a gentle voice after a moment of letting her words sink in.

Taehyung nods, looking at the floor with a pained frown. “Of course I do.“

“Then tell her that. Don’t send some other useless idiot to take her away.“ The way she looks at him now is new. He isn't used to her showing compassion, seeing how she usually enjoys the suffering of others. It's a nice change for once.

But still, it doesn't change anything. “Nari, you don’t understand. ___ will choose him anyway—“

“Yes, you just said it.“ She nods, resting her hands on her hips. “She will choose. You don’t get to make that decision for her. It is only up to her for whom she chooses and it’s either you or him. So tell me Tae, even if both of you were to make her equally as happy who do you think she will choose? The one who tries everything to get her back or the one who doesn’t show any interest and rather encourages somebody else to win her over?“ And after she dropped that little bomb of much necessary reality check on him, she simply turns back around, leaving Taehyung to stand there on his own in absolute misery.

She’s right. Now it looks like he doesn’t care enough about you to stand up against Jimin and try to be with you. Even if there’s a slight chance Jimin won’t tell you about the little conversation he just had with him, the sheer fact that there has been nothing but radio silence between you and him since yesterday evening must look like he doesn’t want to talk to you which actually couldn’t be farther from the truth.

It’s probably not necessary to mention that he already regrets his decision, however, it is too late to change anything now. Jimin is already on his way to you while he is stuck here and will probably not be able to leave anytime soon.

Unfortunately adding to that, Mr. Han is the next one who finds him, and even if he’s standing far away, his voice cannot be unheard from miles. “Taehyung! I see Jimin has left so why aren’t you working yet?! I'm not paying you to stare melancholically into nothingness.“

Cringing at the loud tone in his boss’s voice, he sighs. “God, I need to find a new job.“ Taehyung mumbles to himself before he grumpily starts strutting back to the set, he left a little while ago.

But no matter how hard he tries, Nari’s words won’t leave his head for good

#taehyung #taehyung au #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #jimin #jimin angst #bts #bts x reader #taehyung imagines #taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung

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