#and you think you’re being helpful and healthy when in reality you’re making people hurt themselves by not eating

[that-vampire-loser]

Just a reminder that calorie comparisons fuel eating disorders!!!!!!

[cerise-on-top]

Heyyy! And could you write ghost and price with a chubby reader? :))

Hey there! Of course I can :-)

Price and Ghost with a Chubby!Reader

Price: It genuinely does not matter to Price whether you’re chubby or not. However, if you are chubby, then you better believe this man will not leave you alone. He loves you so dearly, he just wants to be with you whenever he can. And if you’re chubby? Oh, he’s never letting you go. He’s gonna hold onto you like a koala because you’re honestly just so precious. Will put his head on your tummy and use it as a pillow. This is an incentive for you to run your fingers through his hair so he may snooze for a little bit. If anyone ever dared to make fun of you for your size then he will throw hands. He’s a captain, he demands respect wherever he goes, so naturally the same goes for you as his partner. That fucker will end up with a broken nose, if not with a few broken ribs as well. And when you’re home? He’s gonna make you a nice and lovely meal. I feel as though once he’s gotten a taste of your chubby self he would become someone who genuinely likes chubby people. They’re just really soft for holding, you know? What’s better than putting your weary head on the lovely and soft thighs of your partner? Besides, he’d probably take the “if you have thick thighs you can fit more kittens on top of them” post to heart and might put a few kittens on top of you to see how many you can fit. Overall, he has heart eyes whenever you walk by. You’re beautiful, gorgeous, showstopping, and he’s gonna show you that he genuinely thinks that way about you. Besides, he’s kinda chubby too. So, you know, solidarity and all. However, he will blush if you ask to see his tummy. He won’t say no, but he’ll be embarrassed.

Ghost: Another man who thinks he doesn’t care about your size, but in reality he loves chubby people. He’s a big, rough, and rugged man, so would he really complain about his partner being soft? Do you really think he would? Like Price, he also has some chub around his tum. A healthy amount that makes him cute as a button, for a man his size, that is. He’d love to pick you up and throw you onto the bed or couch just to hold onto you. He’s probably gonna learn how to become an even better cook just to be able to cook you nice meals and keep you nice and fed. It’s his way of saying “You’re so fucking gorgeous, I love you, please never change”. And if it comes from Ghost you know it’s genuine. If anyone ever hurts you then he’s going to plan their murder in his head the second those insults leave their mouth. You’d need to hold him back so he doesn’t just kill that asshole. When you get home you can count on him being all over you, kissing you oh so gently everywhere you let him. He’s gonna do everything he can to make you feel like the royalty you actually are. You’re precious, you’re wonderful, he loves you. All those things are final. Besides, no one would ever dare to make fun of him for having some chub, right? So why would they make fun of you? Ghost usually isn’t a man of many words, but he’ll say whatever comes to mind to help you feel better. Overall, I kind of feel as though you’d help him feel better about himself as well. He’s not self conscious about his tummy per se, but you being chubby yourself, and him being so attracted to you and loving you this much, makes him feel better about himself.

[pebiejeebies]

Spoilers below!! Watch iii18 <33

DID ANYONE NOTICE ALL THE KINDNESS THAT WAS TOWARDS CABBY?? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DID?!

*sry for these two agh—*

SORRY I HAD TO— LOOK AT THEM 😭😭‼️‼️

BACK TO THE RAMBLES

YOU GO BOT!! BEAT HIS ASS!!

LOOAAADDSS OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I DIDNT EXPECT GETTING AFTER THIS EPISODE

Ramble below if you’re interested <3

OKAY SO WHAT-

THE AMMOUNT OF RECOGNITION, FORGIVENESS, AND LITERAL CONFUSION WITH CABBY’S GOOD AND BAD THINGS IN THIS EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME

EVEN PAINTBRUSH, FAN, AND TESTTUBE, WHO WERE THE BIGGEST ENEMIES, WERE SLIGHTLY ON HER SIDE! AND EVEN SUPPORTED HER CHANGE!!

LIKE— AND WHEN BOT MENTIONED HOW HARD IT MUSTVE BEEN FOR CABBY TO REJOIN AFTER BEING ELIMINATED BY LITERALLY EVERYONE (MAINLY TESTTUBE) IS ACTUALLY TRUE

YOU REJOIN TO PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO SEE YOU TALK OR EVEN BREATHE AFTER WHAT YOU DID, THEN YOU START AN ALLIANCE TO KEEP YOURSELF IN THE GAME WITH SO MUCH HATE AIMED TOWARDS YOU WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL GET ELIMINATED TOO—

THEN SHE SLOWLY AND STEADILY STARTS TO WALK ON THE RIGHT PATH!! SHE NOTICED HER WRONGS, AND STARTED WITH YINYANG, SHE MADE A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP! AND THEN BOT! TWO HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT SHE DIDNT EXPECT TO EVEN FIGHT FOR HER SAKE

THE SHOCK IN HER FACE WHEN YINYANG, CLOVER, AND BOT WERE CONFUSED ABOUT HER BAD SIDE WAS LITERALLY HEART WARMINGGGG IM GONNA EXPLODE

WORST PART? SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT ANYONE IS PROTECTING HER IN THAT JAIL!! SHE KNOWS THAT SHE MADE TOO MUCH OF A WRONG AND DOESNT THINK ANYONE WOULD FIGHT FOR HER!! (Other than balloon,, yikes man,, only two votes 😭)

Okay but let’s be fr, we all collectively got angry from Nickel in this scene right?? RIGHT????

LUCKYYYYYYY??? LUUUUUUUCCCCKKKYYYYYY???? ME OH MY. ME AND CABBY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON, AND THATS NEVER LUCK! EVEN IF HE DOESNT KNOW THAT SHE STRUGGLED, THAT DOESNT GIVE HIM ANY RIGHT TO DESTROY SOMEONE ELSES STRUGGLES BY COMPARING THEM TO OTHERS!! YES I GET IT, HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS

BUT THIS IS JUST.. PATHETIC 😭

HE’S TRYING TO MAKE BALLOON WIN WHEN IN REALITY, NOBODY AGREES, AND HIM FIGHTING FOR BALLOON ENDS UP BY HIM SAYING ACTUAL BULLSHIT AFTERWARDS

YEAH WE GET IT, YOU LOVE BALLOON AND ADMIRE HIS CHANGE, BUT NICKEL, ONLY YOU NOTICED. HES ANGRY THAT NOBODY CARES WHEN THEY ALL HAVE A POINT!!

THEY ONLY SAW THE BAD SIDES OF BALLOON, AND NOT TO MENTION, BALLOON AND NICKEL!! THESE TWO TORE UP POOR BOT AND DIDNT EVEN SAY MUCH TO THEM!

I admire your care for them Nickel, but actually fucking wake up. Like please, get over your blindness and realize that literally NOBODY saw his arc and how he changed

WOOH. That was a slight vent there lmao.. guess who hates nickel guys…

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THE OVERALL FUSS WITH CABBY IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME! LOOK AT HER, SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THAT BOT AND YINYANG ARE FIGHTING THEIR SOULS OUT TO MAKE HER WIN 😭😭‼️

*ahem look at balloon here aweee <3*

AND LIKE.. THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABOUT HER GUYS, SHE’S HURT, AND SHE KNOWS SHE HURT OTHERS, AND SHE FULLY EXPECTS EVERYONE TO VOTE BALLON OR SILVER OVER HER, NOT KNOWING THE TWO PEOPLE SHE HELPED ARE ACTUALLY HELPING HER BACK AND HELPING OTHERS REALIZE THE VERY SHINY OBVIOUS CHOICE FOR THE WINNER!!

THINK ABOUT IT, BALLOON? HE DID GREAT, BUT HE TOOK, JUST A LITTLE TOO LONG TO CHANGE, AND HIS CHANGE WASNT NOTICED BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERYONE WAS ELIMINATED, AND/OR WAS HIDDEN BEHIND THE FIGHTS THAT NICKEL AND BALLOON HAD! NOBODY SEES ANYTHING IN HIM BECAUSE OF THIS, AND PROBABLY NOBODY WILL VOTE HIM OTHER THAN NICKEL AND GOO (Which I think personally, goo is only voting balloon because of his poetry, which.. really says something about balloon don’t you think?)

Now SILVERSPOON?? DO I EVEN NEED TO TALK?! HIS FAT FUCKING EGO LITERALLY TORE UP FRIENDSHIPS, MANIPULATED, HURT, AND PROBABLY FUCKING KILLED HIS WIFE

DO I NEED TO CONTINUE ON HIM? NO, IM SURE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IM SAYING. RIGHT..??

Maybe I love seeing myself (a cabby kin) get recognition after all the struggles she goes through, but let’s be fr, Balloon? Not really, SILVERSPOON?? HELL FUCKING NO.

That’s why BOT and YINYANG WERE FRUSTRATED!!!! They’re all blind to his fucking ‘Inner flame’ or whatever, which then led his wife, and probably Mephone into so much more fucking trouble. And that infuriates the two that literally lasted so long and saw her grow from each challenge!

They’re frustrated because the obvious option is being pushed away by silver-spoon, again, with the manipulation and the tricks! AGAIN!! to try and win something that you don’t deserve (which is nothing, so like yeowch) is kinda frustrating

As much as I want cabby to win, what will she win? After all this struggle she went through, watching everyone villainize her, as she thought she was genuinely caring to help her team, and to barely survive the votes with yinyang, which then got eliminated, she then struggled to fix her friendship with bot, who both shared an equal struggle with testtube

The actual fact that bot is literally fighting their mom is wild, EVEN FAN EXPECTED THEM TO FORGIVE EACH OTHER!!

But after all of this, she really didn’t win anything

if we remove her boyfriend, (yinyang) and bff forever and ever (Bot) she sorta doesn’t win much, which really sucks

But hey, even balloon has someone to talk to, imagine being silverspoon

Even if he wins, he will LITERALLY win nothing, and good golly gosh Test tube and Paintbrush I’d like to hear why the hecking heck you’d vote for him?? Seriously? All that flattery worked THAT well?!

They do know that he’s manipulating them.. RIGHHTTT??? MAYBE IM JUST VERY FRUSTRATED THAT NOT EVERYONE WANST THE OBVIOUS WINNER TO WIN BUT HEY IM NOT WRONG!!!

I’ll gladly fight with yinyang and bot for cabby‼️‼️‼️

Alright thanks for listening to my Ted talk. Farewell, and do tell me on what you think if you have something to share :D

[maximotts]

hi mottsy i have a serious (kinda) question? i was trying to figure out which of my favorite ff writers to ask and i feel like u would give me a genuine answer without taking offense.

do u ever feel like… idk… like shameful or anything about how much you love an actress or character? like sometimes i get these bouts of like intense guilt and shame for how much i genuinely enjoy elizabeth olsen content and just seeing her in general is like a huge dopamine boost. do u think it’s normal for me to randomly feel anxious about whether or not im a bad person because i spend so much time indulging in fan fiction (SFW and NSFW) and watching her interviews and just like imagining spending time with her or her characters? do u ever feel that way? am i having a crisis???

anyway feel free to ignore this ask, i already feel marginally better just admitting this, but idk i feel like it would help having an outside perspective. some days i don’t care, some days i feel like a stalker and a creep and a weirdo.

Hi nonnie, sorry this took me a day to get to, but hopefully my response can still be helpful!

Firstly, I’ll just get it out of the way and say I don’t think you’re a stalker or a creep or a weirdo (unless you are in fact stalking Lizzie, but I’m assuming you’re not just based off the tone of this ask haha). In general I feel like there’s a big push to categorize loves and interests that don’t make money or aren’t “cool” as something that should be fixed or stopped and I think that is… very harmful to having a balanced existence

If you’re not hurting anyone or breaking any boundaries, and are still maintaining a healthy sense of self outside of fantasy (i.e. feeding yourself, paying your bills, being safe at home) and reading fanfiction or watching interviews of someone brings you joy, more power to you. Think about how much time (and money) people put on sports, no one’s telling those people to stop making their fantasy lineups every year; they throw parties WEEKLY and scream at their televisions or in stadiums and I’m sure they have just as much -if not more- passion about their sport or favorite player as you have for your favorite characters.

Finding joy in someone’s work can be an absolutely magical experience tbh; Wanda, Natasha, and literally so many other fictional characters from comics and books were child!Motts’ friends when I didn’t have any and so I’ll Always feel soooo much dopamine whenever I read a favorite piece of media or watch the MCU versions of comic characters on screen because they’re special to me and there’s nothing wrong with that!

I obviously don’t know Lizzie personally, but I’m sure as an actress she appreciates the love and support people show for her projects; who doesn’t want to know that they have fans who feel touched by their hard work, you know?

Again, there’s a ton of nuances to this conversation and such, but tldr- please don’t be ashamed of where you find happiness in this sometimes very cruel, bleak world.

As long as you’re not infringing on anyone’s private life and you can still separate fantasy from reality, go off, tinie fruitcake. Read that fanfic, watch that Lizzie content 💖

[running-on-a-broken-record]

MatPat Egos with Sick!Reader

In honor of me being extremely sick right now

The Detective: - Absolutely no working yourself. You’re stuck in bed until he deems you healthy enough to leave - This also means he’s cooking for you most of the time. Specifically soup, because then he can feed it to you like the sweetheart he is 💛 - He also keeps tissues on hand, beside you, specifically, so you can reach for them whenever you need them

MadPat: - Kind of a germaphobe sometimes, but only around people who are sick, because he doesn’t want to get sick too - Buuut… for you, he makes an exception. He’ll keep you on a medicine schedule, depending on what you’re sick with, and bring home pizza from the pizzeria - Maybe stay out of the pizzeria for a while though… can’t have customers getting sick too.

Mack: (Crewmate, head engineer, dictator) - Crewmate Mack is also a sweetheart, very similarly to The Detective. He gets soup from the kitchens (even if he has to pull a couple strings) - He also tries his best to finish all of his tasks as quickly as possible so he can spend as much time with you as he can - Unlike crewmate Mack, the head engineer is a little less… soft. He keeps you from being scheduled for any of the difficult tasks, and even keeps you from having to do any work at all if he can, but that’s about it - When he gets a break from work, he’s with you. He pretends to be displeased with needing to take care of you, but in reality, he loves it, because it makes him feel important - Dictator Mack gets extremely possessive. You’re not allowed to leave his side even once, no exceptions - He’s getting the colony’s best doctors to check on you, even if you assure him that you’re okay. He just doesn’t want to take any risks - When it is proven you are, in fact, fine, and just sick, he’s very, very firm about getting you back to health as soon as possible. Meaning he’s strict about you taking the medicine the doctors recommend for you

The Hermit: - He’s not familiar with illness. Living on the island has increased his immune system drastically, so he’s basically immune to being sick - At first he’s convinced you ate something poisonous on the island, but when you explain to him you’re just sick and it’s not poison, he’s a little bit calmer - He’s determined to keep you inside, though. So you’re basically stuck in bed-rest for a while

WarfPat: - He’s honestly the most cool with it. If you’re not like… throwing up sick or anything really serious, he won’t really treat you any differently - Though, one thing that is different, he won’t let you on his talk show until you’re feeling better. Just in case - If he’s feeling really nice, he might get you a small gift to help you feel better, like flowers or a box of chocolates. But if you ask about it, he will deny it until the end of time

DarkPat: - He’s never been sick— he can’t get sick— so he doesn’t exactly understand what you’re going through - He does, however, see that you’re struggling. - He hates when you’re sick. He gets temperamental around everyone but you because he is stressed. You’re hurting, and there’s nothing he can do to help you - He brings you your favorite food and watches your favorite show (even if he thinks it’s just a little bit stupid)

[theangryjikooker]

https://www.tumblr.com/theangryjikooker/760174848978878464/i-hope-to-have-as-much-patience-as-you-do-because?source=share

It definitely has nothing to do with not having reading comprehension skills but everything to do with not liking what's being written. Jikookers are lashing out because someone is "destroying" their beliefs. I'm the same, a Jikooker who tends to firmly believe that Jikook are in a solid relationship for years, and every time they do or say things that doesn't at all align with the image I have of them in my head, I shut it down pretty quickly. Ignore, scroll past, delete, fast foward that specific moment and file it away mentally as "insignificant" and I make it a point to always avoid it in future. And then I go back to my safe cocoon which is "Jikook supporter" spaces where everything is rosy and everything JK and JM say and do is definitive proof of their everlasting love for one another.

And when someone has the audacity to point out the exact moments I work so hard to ignore, I get mad and I feel triggered to say something to counter them. If I cannot do that (as in if I genuinely can't think of anything to say to counter those very valid points they made against the possibility of JM and JK as a couple) I go to Jikook blogs to complain about what "haters" are saying about Jikook's bond, basically just asking them for validation. And when they do, the burning in my chest eases and I feel secure in my ship again.

That's the way it is. And it's so wrong, but I can't help myself and I think it's the same for many shippers, in any ship. It's hard to let go. Even when you reach a point where there's that voice in your head trying to convince you to be logical, there's this other side that just keeps on clinging and just wants to keep spiraling deeper and deeper into that safe space.

Because it really hurts, for some reason, to let go after believing in something so deeply to the point where it becomes a very important part of your life. But this is not a healthy way to live; we see it with how people have turned the fandom into a very toxic, unpleasant environment. We see it with how Taekookers have been harrassing people for years, have threatened harm on others as well as themselves, and are not above insulting the family members of the ones they claim to love and support. Jikookers may always boast about being sane and unproblematic compared to Taekookers, but I really don't think we are very far off from reaching that level of delusion and acting that way if the way they've started to react to Taehyung doing or saying anything regarding JK or even just the thought of him breathing next to JK is anything to go by.

So no matter how much it hurts, I'll force myself to read blogs and posts like yours and open myself up to spaces outside Jikook shipping (with the exclusion of Taekook shipper or solo stan spaces, of course) because I don't want to become miserable and toxic.

And I really wish Jikookers would do the same, try to be a little more neutral and logical, and that there would be more Jikook blogs on Tumblr like this one. This is how we'll be able to create a healthy shipping environment.

Interesting perspective, and thank you for sharing.

I know that one Jkkr isn’t representative of the masses, but while you’re not the first one to say so, you go into a lot more depth and vulnerability than I’ve ever seen any shipper say to someone who doesn’t align with their views.

I think I said in a much earlier post that I can empathize with how difficult it will eventually get for shippers if their idealized version of reality doesn’t match actual reality because they’ve dedicated a lot of time, energy, and emotion into what is arguably just a fantasy. Standard sunk-cost fallacy.

I think people who’ve followed me longer already know that despite saying what I do, I’m always open to the possibility that anything I’ve said is wrong/I’m wrong about them. I’m not particularly willing to hedge bets on it, but I’m vocal enough and often that I sound like a broken record to myself.

I think this is where I butt heads with a lot of shippers because my stance isn’t attached to the pride of being right; I just have opinions and share my observations and any glaring inconsistencies. With toxic shippers—as was the case since I opened this blog and why I started it in the first place—it’s their way or the highway.

Anyway—again—thank you. Food for thought for anyone else interested.

[soaringwide]

Hi I hope you’re well! Please could you tell me if I will meet a future romantic partner soon? I’ve been single quite a while now and I’m slowly ready to get back out there. I’m also going on a trip next week and was curious if I would meet someone. Thanks!✨

Hello! Thank you for reaching out! Sorry it took me a while to get to your ask so I won't ask about your trip since you probably already left. However I can totally do a ''Love ahead''.

Note: free readings are currently closed.

So as to where you're currently now, I think you may be feeling a bit over protective or defensive of your heart. You definitely want more from your love life and feel very determined to experience something, but it's like, you don't dare feeling fully optimistic about the future as you worry you're going to end up with nothing. It's kind of a protective mechanism not to get hurt, in the sense that if you don't dare hoping, then it may hurt less.

For what's going for you, with the 4 of wands I definitely feel like you're willing to step out of your house and go out and meet people, kinda like trying to find new circles and places to encounter a potential relationship, which is great. I'm getting these places being joyful and highly social, celebratory and welcoming. Perhaps you could even get help from friends or loved ones to expand your social circle through mutual connections.

As for what's hindering you, I think you've got some work to do in matters of releasing bonds and limitations from either past traumas surrounding intimacy, or from a past relationship. There is something that's still holding you back and that makes you feel like you can't get the new love that you're wishing for. There may have been a past unhealthy relationship that made you feel lessened, and I think that's why even with the desire and drive shown in the cards, you still have your boundaries up. I do think you've done a lot of work already (the devil is reversed so it's in the release position) so it's just a matter of keep pushing through it though.

I think that part of that healing process will happen through a new relationship though. As in, yes you have to work on yourself, but when you'll find that healthy and fulfilling relationship, it will help heal your wounds and release the pain. However, you need to give yourself the time and space to grow that in that new future and potential relationship as it will trigger your fears and defense mechanism, so you need to be gentle with yourself in the process and keep trying to do the work on your end. But I'm definitely getting that what you will receive is an opportunity to release past pains regarding love.

For what you need to release, you need to be mindful of your tendency to want to make things happen at all cost. It stems from a lack of self-confidence that makes you think that you're either not worth something good, or that you will miss an opportunity if you don't act fast, so you react by coming off a bit too strong, if I can put it that way. The danger could be to settle for something that's not actually good for you because you don't believe you deserve something better and you don't give yourself the time to really consider the connection before committing to it. So release that impatience, know your worth and take your time before committing.

As for most probably outcome for your future, I cannot give you a timeframe but you got the Magician, and the Chariot as the bottom of the deck, so I definitely think you're on track towards your wish. The Magician is all about mastering all suits of the tarot, which means being in harmony with your emotions, thoughts, resources and drive/the actions you take. It's also the card of making your desires happen in reality, so I think this is a very positive card for you here. The Chariot as bottom of the deck is all about determination and success in your pursuit, and I think the fact that it shows the overarching energy is a good sign that you're on the right track. But do be clear about what you want and be mindful of the advice you got in this reading. Don't forget that you always have a choice, you're the one driving the chariot and you're in control of your actions.

Hope that was helpful and I wish you good luck in your love life! :)

[ingravinoveritas]

I mean no disrespect, but I wonder if you realise that probably all the main plot points of Staged are scripted? Including acting cues like David and Michael touching, comforting, asking who is the big spoon etc. “Georgia says we’re like a married couple” doesn’t actually mean Georgia said it, it means Simon Evans wrote this line for David.

I see in your profile that you’re on the spectrum, and I am not sure if that’s one of the reasons it’s hard for you to discern the difference maybe? (Again, no intended disrespect. Please take this as a well meaning message from a well wisher. My brother is on the spectrum and he has a tendency to do this). The show is so meta at this point, it’s understandable if it felt confusing and hopeful maybe.

But we have to keep in mind that they’re simply actors with amazing chemistry, and the entire show dynamic is playing on that. In reality, their friendship may be very different to how it is portrayed. Not to mention, the romantic components are just for show. They can play so much on it mainly because David and Michael are both men in committed heterosexual relationships. This is not coming from a homophobic place either, considering (like the rest of tumblr) I definitely ship Aziraphale and Crowley romantically. But the actors themselves, well, I don’t think it’s healthy to go there?

Anyway sorry this was very long. Please take care of yourself.

Hello, Anon.

There are a lot of things I’d like to say in response to this. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the concept of “benevolent ableism.” I’d like to explain it, but first it might help if I give an example of malevolent ableism.

Four years ago, I was interviewed for a movie about the first person ever officially diagnosed with autism, which is based on the best-selling book of the same name. The movie is set to premiere nationally in the U.S. on PBS next week, and they’ve begun doing promotion on social media ahead of it. In the post PBS made on Facebook the other day, someone left a comment calling autistic people “feeble-minded vermin” and insisted on the “complete and total extermination” of autistic people “on a global basis.”

This is something that we would immediately recognize as ableism. It’s hateful, it’s angry, and it calls for actual genocide against autistic people. Because in this world, this is the mentality that some people actually have toward people on the spectrum--that we are different, less, inferior. “Other.” And they are making their feelings about that difference very clear, and in no uncertain terms. Of course, this is an extreme example, and not necessarily something most of us are likely to encounter in our day to day lives.

Which, then, is where “benevolent ableism” comes into the picture. What this term tends to refer to is when neurotypical people speak or behave in ways that are hurtful and demeaning to autistic/neurodivergent people while under the pretense of being “helpful,” “kind,” or even “well-meaning.”

It’s things like telling someone “Oh, you’re too pretty to be autistic.” It’s deciding a place/situation is “too much” for an autistic person and convincing them to leave because you think you know “what’s best” for them. And in this case, it’s assuming that I must not know the difference between fiction and reality because of my autism and writing in to tell me that I am “wrong” about Staged because of it.

The common thread in all of these is something called “infantilization.” This happens when autistic adults are treated as children in big bodies and believed to not have the capacity to understand things solely on the basis of being autistic--regardless of chronological age, developmental level, or any other factors.

This is what I feel you have done here, Anon. You are talking down to me, but I am not a teenager, and I’m certainly not a child. I’m an adult woman, and if you’d spent more than five minutes on my blog, you would know that I have shipped Michael and David since 2019, long before Staged was even close to being a thing. My reasons for shipping them have nothing to do with the show or a script...but I get the sense that that doesn’t make much of a difference to you.

Because I’ve gotten plenty of hater Anons due to shipping Michael and David in the past, but this? This is by far the worst. I would rather get Anons calling me the R-word or any other of the many names I’ve been called, because at least I know where they stand. But when you use the words “well meaning” and “no disrespect” and then proceed to talk to me the way you have here...I am truly at a loss.

There are so many things I could tell you. I could tell you that I have a Masters degree. I could tell you I’ve spoken at the United Nations twice. I could tell you I’ve given a TED talk. I could tell you that I completely and wholeheartedly disagree with nearly everything you’ve said about Staged and Michael/David’s dynamic and what was scripted, and provide multiple examples and thought-out, compelling arguments explaining my rationale.

But none of it would matter, because you took one look at my blog and all you saw was “autism.”

Not me. Not Amy. Just “autism,” and everything you believe that means. And in doing so, you have insulted not only my intelligence, but my humanity.

Yet I’m supposed to believe you “mean no disrespect” (I think you did) and that you are not homophobic (I think you are). Or at least biphobic, because even though Michael and David are in straight-passing relationships, it does not automatically mean they are straight.

(Nor does it mean that is the reason they felt comfortable playing up the romantic elements of Staged 3, an argument that absolutely makes no sense to me because--and you would also know this if you’d read my blog--the last thing I think Michael or David would ever do is queer-bait or specifically play something like that as a joke.)

If only one thing comes out of me answering your Anon, I hope it’s this: I am in a place of confidence now. I know who I am. But I also know that if another autistic or ND person had gotten this message, it could have destroyed them. Your words are the words we’ve heard before--from parents, from teachers, even lovers--and they are no less dehumanizing as we get older.

I know that I don’t know you, or your brother, Anon. But if I got this feeling from your attitude, I can almost guarantee that he has gotten it, too, and that it has affected the way he sees himself. He may not say it to you, may not express it, but the things you say and the way they make him feel live in a place deep inside, and that is something that never fully goes away.

So I hope you will take this as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, and to do better. Because I deserve more than to be seen as the sum of my limitations. I deserve to be seen as Amy, as the woman I am, of whom part, but not all, is being autistic.

 I deserve better than this. And so do all autistic people.

[ripley95bg3]

My Tomorrow into Eternity - Chapter 10

Pairing: Wyll Ravengard/f!Tav

Rating: Mature

Story Summary:

The threat to Baldur’s Gate is looming when Tav makes a discovery that changes everything. She must fight for her city, fight for her people and fight for herself in order to earn her happy ending.

Link to Chapter 1 on AO3

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Tav and Karlach made their way through the city streets again. Along the way, they helped where they could while searching for the rest of their party. The walk around was much easier without the additional forty pounds of armour to lug around, and it helped that she had an apple to eat casually along the way to give her a little more energy.

Even after going around most of the city, their companions were nowhere to be seen. The thought had occurred to her that perhaps they were all circling each other, but she didn’t know what else to do with no formal meeting location. Until she caught a glimpse of Yenna’s characteristic red hair near the docks. She grabbed onto Karlach’s arm to get her attention.

“Yenna?!”

The small girl turned at her name, Grub securely in her arms. A large, bright smile spread across her face. Tav and Karlach both ran in her direction. As they got closer, they saw the others. Astarion, Halsin, Gale, Shadowheart, Lae’Zel, Jaheira and Minsc, along with Boo and Scratch. When they got closer, Karlach was the first one to hug Yenna. It gave Tav a better chance to look at the group. Everyone except Wyll. Her heart sank at the revelation. Where was he?

“Tav!” Yenna said, excitedly.

Tav turned to her with a smile. As distressing as it was that Wyll wasn’t here, there was still something good to focus on. Tav knelt down to be on Yenna’s level and opened her arms. Yenna hugged her tightly, and Tav reciprocated, rubbing Yenna’s back comfortingly. After some time passed, she finally pulled out of the hug to take stock of Yenna’s condition. Her face and clothes were dirty, but then, who of their group couldn’t say the same? She looked otherwise quite healthy and uninjured.

“Are you hurt?”

Yenna shook her head proudly. “No. We found a safe place in the sewers. Part of it collapsed, but I was small enough to crawl through.”

Tav looked at her proudly, even if her heart hurt thinking of it. This poor, sweet girl was all alone through all that. “What did I tell you? Strong and resourceful. I expected nothing less.” She meant what she said, of course, but it wasn’t lost on her that Yenna may have seen some atrocities. Something she would no doubt need to monitor and ensure she was alright.

Yenna looked at her with a bright and genuine smile. For now, Tav would take that as a good sign. She was happy and relieved to be back with her people, and they’d all be dealing with the trauma of it for the rest of their lives. She just hoped being there for Yenna along her journey with it would be enough.

Tav gave her one last smile as she stood. She put her hand on Yenna’s chin, pulling her gaze up. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“Me, too,” Yenna said with a bright smile.

The rest of their group encroached around them, all with smiles on their faces. They all fought hard to see this reality, and she was glad they made it.

Read the rest on AO3

[original-character-championship]

Long freaking propaganda post under the cut

Charm is a chronic people pleaser, they meet some demideity named K who hurts people for fun yippie! Anyway their people pleasing nature makes them be like magnetised to people who are toxic and hurt people in an effort to stop them from hurting as many people by instead hurting them!!! Human shield moment.

Also here a playlist

Anyway they have lesbian swag and also are non binary so you legally have to vote for them /j

They live off of the like validation from doing things correctly for Huge Pieces Of Shit, it really is not Healthy at all

A bit later they meet some guy who gives them a cursed scarf, the scarf makes them meaner but less of a people pleaser, K realises that they actually considered Charm a friend in a fucked up way and tries to manipulate them into coming back, they don’t do it. After a bit of people talking to them and trying to get them out of this weird place the scarf has them in, eventually they remove the scarf and break down crying because they were mean to some people who tried to get the scarf off them. K is like “hey don’t sweat it you’re okay now” and they’re like “mmmmm no actually I’m experiencing the effects of having worn a cursed scarf” the effects being more helplessness than they would usually have to endure. The scarf is back on, K is upset and Charm is like “I’m never taking this scarf off again btw” and K leaves and they nearly cry and yea it gets messy fast.

They agree to take it off for short intervals each day to try and get used to the feeling, it worked for a few days and then K is like “hey what if I was a huge bitch again and asked them to remove it for even longer” so they did and the hopelessness got really bad after a few days like one of days they could only be awake for short periods of time and would disassociate to hell and back for any time they spent awake.

They put the scarf back on (again).

Eventually K decided to ask to take the scarf and see if it is okay, the scarf is removed from Charm’s timeline and everything is fine for about a week before everything goes to shit again and they Really need that scarf back, K is like “mmm no” at first and then they relent and give it back and once it’s back in their timeline they feel better.

They wear the scarf, and go see the guy who gave it to them and say “Hey let me know if I can assist you with anything.” He is like “ok also ask me for help if you need ok?”

I feel like this is badly written I’m so sorry guys

K starts blipping out of reality, they had an eldritch horror exposed to them (these two are from an rp group) and that would be the cause of the blips, when they are back they talk to Charm about various things and how much charm has improved them as a person, this propaganda isn’t about K so that’s why it wasn’t covered. Yeah so Charm currently has the scarf off and K has blipped again and charm had some development — they realised that the people pleasing wasn’t really helping anymore — and I think that catches you all up, if you are interested in talking to them (they have a tumblr blog I run for rp and shit) they are @charms-chats ok have a swell day besties!

[stranger-rants]

This is also a general PSA - I am not good at any relationship related advice. I can talk about fictional relationships just fine, but the reality is that I am a romance repulsed aromantic. I simply do not understand what it is like to love someone romantically, and my advice when it comes to romantic relationships will always be pragmatic and perhaps harsh…

It is important to me that people realize that the idea that “your overall worth as a person is tied to your romantic value” is amatonormative. It is a toxic aspect to romance in society that should be recognized as such, and as such should never make anyone feel suicidal. I know that it still does and I understand that feeling doesn’t easily go away. The hurt is valid.

I know what loss feels like, even if I don’t experience romantic feelings. That being said…

I truly believe that romance and/or a romantic partner is not nor should it ever be the reason why you stay alive. If it is then that is not healthy for you or your partner(s). You have become too dependent on them for your own emotional well-being which can lead to guilt and shame and resentment if you or your partner(s) can’t fulfill the roles you’ve given each other.

You need a support system outside of your romantic attachments and that’s critical to your well-being. You need to learn to take care of yourself. That is critical to your well-being. You need to detach your worth from the success of your romantic relationships. That is critical to your well-being. Romantic relationships should not consume your life nor end it.

If you think you are going to self harm or you’re struggling with suicide ideation post break up, a stranger like myself on the internet is not your safest bet. There is no shame seeking out valid helplines or even seeking out emergency psychiatric services. I know that accessing these things is not always easy, but there are people specifically trained to help you with these things.

Again, I don’t want anyone to feel bad for asking for help. I am just not the best person to ask for that help.

[transhawks]

*posts that are going to get you a box of my favorite orange flavored chocolates mailed to your doorstep (anyways, yeahh!! Lmao, it was so wild to me to read a post that lists everything Hawks did and I’m going like yeah!!! And then it ends off with something like “and that’s why I hate him and he’s evil incarnate” we are two different people lmaoo, I feel like you’re the only appreciated of unhinged Hawks on this site. He can be a sad little chirp chirp while still being crazy. So r other ppl

That sounds delicious actually. In all seriousness I had to disengage with actual Hawks "haters" in late 2020. I was very critical of him, argued with Hawks apologists (specifically in the whole Twice aspect) left and right, was getting frustrated at people just ignoring the clear references to the current political situation in the work, but seeing the actual Hawks hate hurt the nonetheless. I'm really lucky that a bunch of us in the Jinkei server and dbhwks spaces were really down to clown him and roast him, but there was still an element of at least finding him an interesting character if not liking him. A lot the hardcore Hawks haters not only didn't find him distasteful (which isn't wrong imho) but also felt that anyone who felt he was interesting was approving of his actions.

I had to justify why I liked him as a character to so-called friends, even a beloved best friend. Why I found him interesting - as if that invalidated my well-worn anarchist/leftist ideals and years of them and all the political activism and organizing I got involved in my late teens/early twenties. It was like... a very cruel time. I have a whole personality disorder that makes me think in polarities and extremes, and that space and group on here was not helping.

And then his development seemed to stagnate (or more I just didn't really understand what Horikoshi was doing with him) and I don't know, I clung on to what I originally liked. It really took reevaluating the entire manga and starting to find all of him funny to really, truly love him again.

He's a fascinatingly complicated character, incredibly well-crafted by Horikoshi, and I'd say among his top-tier written characters, like Tomura or Dabi. Now, that's on his *complexity*, nothing else. Not that I go looking for such opinions, but I'm going to clarify that and save some Hawks haters time gossiping about me saying "Hawks is a good as Dabi or Tomura according to local Hawks-obsessive transhawks", nah, we're talking about complexity and his narrative. Those things are very different than the character being ethical, not that any of them are.

And! And! It's okay to like the confusing, unhinged characters who bring chaos! 2020 me could never understand loving All For One, but he's so fascinatingly hypocritical and hilarious that he's quickly becoming a favorite.

I just regret we spent so much time as a fandom ascribing moral values to liking certain characters rather than just fucking enjoying them as they are. That wasn't healthy. That wasn't right of us, or me, specifically. I'm still someone who believes that the fiction/reality argument is bunk and not understanding that there isn't an actual separate space or how much any sort of art medium affects and shapes our values is a big problem, but I think when we started saying that anyone finding a character interesting was condoning their actions was when the plot was lost.

[bsaac1-s]

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦⊹

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship with your Mental Health? 🦋

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦⊹

♡ Ever since we became a teenager or an adult, reality hits us like a speeding bus. Suddenly, something clicked on us and thought “I should really start being serious” for the sake of our future. All the uncertainty in the world began sinking into us and started to doubt our capabilities and the decisions that we’d made if it was the right thing to do because we were scared that the path we’ll choose will hurt us, especially mentally. We began to think that being practical is more important, that sometimes we started to neglect what our heart speaks. We put a mask in front of everyone, hiding our flaws and emotions in order to show others our perfect selves. And that was the start of an unhealthy relationship with our mental health.

♡ We live in a world where some people think that mental health is just a mere illusion where when you tell others that you are sad, their reply will be “well… don’t be sad”. It’s not that easy because the way our brain works is so complicated, that’s why we should not be carefree in handling our mental health. If we think about “how” to take care of our mental health, the one thing that pops into our mind is the word “Happiness.” Some people think that in order to be mentally healthy is that we should always be happy! But I beg to differ, for me, having a healthy relationship with your mental health is allowing yourself to feel different kinds of emotions. If you’re angry, then scream, sulk, and let all your emotions out because your feeling is valid. Bottling up all your emotions will put a strain on your mental health. If you are sad, then allow yourself to be miserable and cry all you want. Don’t be scared to appear vulnerable because being vulnerable can help us to work through our emotions easier.

♡ Emotions are what makes us human and understanding who we are can help us better comprehend our feelings and emotions. We must always keep in mind that we should take a break if we are exhausted. Avoid overthinking everything because doing so might cause problems and anxiety. Instead, focus on the larger picture and everything will work out just fine. We should always put our well being first, because our mental and physical health is very important. And if we acknowledge who we really are, show our true and honest selves, we can have a good relationship with our mental health.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺✦

“We should embrace the wholeness of ourselves, give ourselves permission to not be ‘okay’. It’s not about trying to avoid comfortable feelings but rather going towards them to get honest with ourselves and grow.” -Tai Gooden

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[transillusionisms]

Then let’s go ahead and have a conversation, being attracted to a child as an adult is morally wrong, and there are reasons for that, children are not even remotely close to the maturity level or mental capacity that adults are and to be attracted to somebody so young and emotionally different then you- especially when it puts you in a position of power over them- is wrong. It’s exactly why teacher/student relationships are frowned upon, because the teacher has a huge position of power of the student and therefore the relationship can never realistically be consensual or healthy. Being attracted to children is a taboo for a reason, and it’s not just because people want to “put others down” it’s because there are serious moral implications that comes with it. I don’t understand why anybody would want to be in that kind of situation, why anybody would ever want to be in such a position of power that the relationship could never be healthy- could never do anything but leave long lasting trauma.

And quite honestly if you haven’t experienced the kind of trauma that comes with that, the kind of hurt that you receive from somebody who knew better, from somebody who had that position of power over you and then abusing it then I’m not sure why you would want to speak on the issue so in depth. Because the only people who can truly understand that kind of pain are the people who go through it and *maybe* people who have professional training and experience in the mental health field.

Nobody is telling you that you’re wrong for having a “different opinion”, you’re being told you’re wrong because while you’re saying that CSA and rape and assault and abuse is bad you’re still trying to justify morally wrong behavior. That is the issue, you’re using a platform to blast the idea that age doesn’t matter and that it has no actual purpose other then to keep time when that’s wrong. Because it does matter, experience and age matter, even if people don’t want to believe that.

i think you're unnecessarily combining attraction with abuse, here. because every kind of romantic or sexual interaction between an adult and a kid is bad, and we can both agree on that. age very much does matter in relationships, you're right; a 16 and an 18 year old are fine, but a 14 year old and an 18 year old aren't. we agree on all that. other power imbalances are generally bad too; even if you're in college and you and your professor are the same age, that's not the kinda dynamic that'd lead to a healthy relationship.

the only thing i don't agree with that you're saying here is that the attraction itself is morally wrong, too. for one, it's something that people literally cannot help. it's why stuff like homohobes saying "just choose not to be gay" makes no sense at all. (no, i'm not saying you're homophobic, i just mean that you can see the whole "i can't consciously change my attractions" in other places too.)

two, people who are attracted to others can avoid interacting with them. it happens all the time; i see a pretty guy in a coffee shop, i don't interact with him, we never see each other again. stuff like that. this doesn't change if the subject of your attraction is a kid; i would argue that you're morally obligated to not mention that to the kid, but it doesn't make you a bad person for simply being attracted to them.

fantasies are morally neutral. i can fantasize about responding to queerphobia with immediate violence, even though in reality that's not really a productive way of dealing with that; that doesn't make me dangerous to be around or violent irl. sexual fantasies aren't any different. cops are horrible irl, but i'm not gonna call people doing sexual roleplay where one is a cop bootlickers for that.

attraction is morally neutral, too. a straight guy can be into a lesbian, and that doesn't mean he's a bad person for thinking she's hot or being attracted to her; it'd only be bad if he pursued her after knowing she wasn't alright with that. this applies to other things too; if you're attracted to a kid, that's morally neutral. it only becomes bad if you tell the kid about it, or try to pursue them in any way.

if this is something you can't agree on, i'm not sure more conversation will do anything :/

(also, the only reason i'm speaking on this in depth is when other people start that conversation, like the condescending emoji anon and you. i'll respond n stuff, but i'm usually not gonna start talking about it out of the blue)

[nadzhosny2]

So you’re damaged goods? Please go to therapy

I used to hear the phrase ‘I’m damaged goods’ being thrown around a lot by men who wanted to seem mysterious, alluring and brooding to attract women and to get away with being complete douchebags, because apparently women have a tendency to like broken men because they think they can fix them (LOL), when in reality they were about as damaged as a Nokia 3310. Not a scratch on them and dull as a doorknob.

Dear men, kindly stop misusing the word damaged; its very offensive to the those who are ACTUALLY damaged goods. It doesn’t qualify as bragging rights so stop. Being damaged goods is not pleasant. Another word for damaged goods, that doesn’t sound as appealing, is emotionally damaged, which in all honestly is the more correct description.

The most frustrating thing about this is that the damaged have accepted wholeheartedly that they have issues, that they are just a ticking time bomb and everyone should stay far, far away. If you are one of these people, please, for the love of all that is good and pure in this God forsaken universe, GET SOME FUCKING HELP.

Living in a state of pain, hurt, anger, guilt and low self esteem isn’t healthy whatsoever, no matter what the books, series and the movies of our generation would have you believe. Alienating everyone around you by treating them like trash, doubting you’ll ever be happy again, having trust issues and a pessimistic outlook on life is not a way to live. That’s a way to slowly kill yourself, because you’re chipping away, little by little, at your life and the possibility that it could be better.

Yes, you were hurt, disappointed, traumatized even, had your heart and soul stomped on and put in a blender. It’s difficult and downright shattering, no doubt about it, and I’m not here to belittle it or make it seem as if it wasn’t gut wrenchingly painful and you’re not wounded and bruised but are you just going to sit there and let it run your entire life? Do you want your life to be defined by anguish and suffering without relief? To let every action and choice be dictated by it? To rip away any chance of future happiness?

That is the highest form of weakness, no offence.

Get up and do something about it! Life is too short to be living in misery when there are options to put an end to it. Therapy is there for a reason. There are actual trained professionals whose job it is to guide you to being a better person and to help you navigate the treacherous waters of your emotional damage. Seeking help isn’t a weakness, not seeking it is because it shows you’re not strong enough to face your problems head on to try and heal yourself. You want to spend money on something that will help ease the pain, put down the drugs and alcohol and spend it on a therapist; at least the effects will be longer lasting and won’t fuck up your internal organs.

The hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life is work on bettering yourself for the sake of your own wellbeing. To take the step forward and say you will no longer continue to suffer and improve your mental state. Heal yourself so you can be happy, heal yourself so you can thrive, heal yourself so you can attack life with your new found knowledge that will keep you from making the same mistakes. Everything you have gone through will serve as a lesson; a lesson on what not to do and what to do differently. Experience is the best teacher; the unfortunate fact of life is that the best lessons, the ones that serve as foundations and guiding posts, are often the ones that wound us the deepest.

You have no idea how much life you are missing by wallowing in your misery, wake the fuck up.

It will be extremely hard, you will definitely stumble. There will be days where you can’t bring yourself to continue, where it will seem so simple and safe to fall back into your old self-destructive routine because healing requires too much effort. When that little dark voice in your head starts whispering those tantalizing words, you’ll have to make the choice between what is right and what is easy (Thank you Albus Dumbledore). Doing what is easy will not benefit you in the long run, nor will giving up on self-improvement because it’s not all comforting words and hugs.

Will it be torturous to begin with? Absolutely. All therapy is. Who wants to confront their own inadequacies? Who wants to admit their failures? Who wants to admit their deepest and darkest fear?

Answer: not even fucking Batman himself.

You will have to confront some uncomfortable truths about yourself, discover things about yourself that you will not like at all but it will be worth it because you will discover who you truly are, to the depths of your soul, your inner most demons will be summoned forth to do battle with.

Working on yourself will take time, it doesn’t magically happen after one therapy session, unless your therapist is Professor Xavier and he just erases your mind. Just take it day by day, little by little. Set small goals. Subscribe to the 1% rule of self improvement; if you do 1% consistently every day, you can build to tremendous improvements, and over time can make a big difference. Your brain is used a certain routine, it will get confused and it will take a while to adjust. Beware, excuses will come up then because you’re used to doing things in a certain way, don’t give in.

Don’t let life pass you by while you’re having a solo extended pity party. You’ll end up a shriveled, twisted, regret filled shell of a human being and that is the worst possible fate a person can endure, death would be kinder. Remember, just because you’ve gone through a hard time does not give you a free pass to be a despicable person. Don’t take out your unprocessed suffering on innocents who have done nothing to deserve it. So for your own sake, start healing.

There are alot of nerdy references here but they drive the point home and you know what you signed up for.

Thanks for reading ❤️

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

320 of 2023

Random Secrets from Others [True or False}

Created by joybucket

I am so sick of people minimizing my assault because it "could have been worse." I wrote my secret on a postcard, but before I got the chance to mail it, I started to feel free. I spy on the babysitter. No one around me knows who I really am or what I do for a living. I am downright ashamed to still be a virgin. Since our affair, I don't think God listens to our prayers. I wish my parents would reach out to me. Sometimes, when I get lonely, I sit in the psych ward parking lot and talk to God. I wonder if I'll still love my son as he gets older. I play the lottery with the hope of being able to afford medication and therapy. I am hiding a secret that would tear my family apart. I hear voices in my head, but I'm too scared to tell anyone. I spend 90% of my free time staring at a screen. I don't understand football. 🏈 It's nice having a drug addict felon for a parent, because you can blame your problems on them, and everyone will believe you! I fell in love with the boy who date-raped me. I pretend to be on the phone with people when I'm in awkward situations. 📱 Every night, while my husband sleeps next to me, I pray that I will one day find my soulmate. I don't Pin unhealthy things on Pinterest, because I don't want my healthy friends to judge me. I shot up heroin in a church bathroom. I still haven't told my father that I have the same disease that killed my mother. I think my song is gay, but he's afraid to tell me. Many times I feel ashamed to be happy. I made a lot of money last year, and I feel like a big failure. I fell for someone who had completely different religious views than me. My revenge on you is having a wonderful life. My friend is bulimic, and I'm scared to confront her about it. I cried myself to sleep every night of our honeymoon. Even though I was raped, I still consider myself a virgin. (I did until I did it with my clear consent) I dream every night of beating the crap out of the woman my husband left me for. Rehab saved my life. The drugs weren't going to kill me...I was going to kill me. Being a social worker helped me realize how much I need to go to therapy. Having a baby has made me really dislike my husband. I'm terrified that I'm going to "come out of the closet" while under anesthesia. I found my soulmate years ago....I married another man. It hurts, but I'll be ok. I wish I wasn't alone in the world. I feel like Paramore's "Ain't it Fun" could be the theme song to my life. Honestly, this past year has been one of the best years of my life. I feel both ashamed and guilty about being an American. 🇺🇸 I was touched inappropriately by a guy at work. I wonder if one day I'm going to hurt as bad as I hurt you. Part of me knows I deserve it. The "no crying at work" rule is killing me. I knew I had COVID and still went to work, because I had bills to pay. I'm glad I caught my husband cheating me, so I could leave him and our loveless marriage with no guilt. I am finally starting to feel like myself again! The worst kind of lonely is the one you feel when you're actually with someone. I never really understood PostSecret, until I wrote one and felt relieved. I go to work every day with a forced smile. It makes me feel better to know that if things get bad enough, I can always kill myself. I've been lying to my family that I'm still a Christian. No one has ever called me their best friend, and I feel silly for being so sad about this. I don't want to die alone. My first lesbian experience was at church camp. My parents disowned me because I denounced their toxic religion. My parents disowned me because I'm a Christian. My parents disowned me when I came out about my sexuality. My parents disowned me when I got pregnant out of wedlock. I pretend to be homophobic. In reality, I'm in the closet and am jealous of those who are out. There's only one difference between me and a calendar: The calendar has dates. I want a husband so bad; it's all I think about. I feel like God made a mistake with me. I stepped down from the worship team at church because I was having sex with my boyfriend. I stick post-it notes in all of the library books I read, hoping someday it will make someone happy. According to Facebook, I have a ton of friends, but every day I eat lunch alone. I said yes to another man because the one I wanted didn't ask me. When I am talking to someone, I am always looking for a way to end the conversation before it gets awkward. I'm a therapist, and I think about suicide nearly every day. I volunteer on our prayer chain so I can get the good gossip fast! My wife makes more money than I do. Every regret I've ever had involved alcohol. 🍷 Isolation will kill me before COVID ever gets a chance. I need more adventure. I take pictures of shoes because they shoe where I have been...it makes me happy! I will never forgive myself for letting my girlfriend get an abortion. I wish I had been a better mother to my children. Shuffle mode is the only spontaneous thing in my life. I only enjoy creating art anonymously, so I won't face criticism. I made a horrible mistake when I married my wife. God is love and love is real.