#another line without a hook

[plumheadraven]

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

[rolandkaros]

WTA 9 - 12 AS LYRICS FROM SONGS I HAVE SAVED [1 - 4] [5 - 8] [INSP]

MARIA SAKKARI [GRE] -> GAVE YOU EVERYTHING [THE INTERRUPTERS] JEĻENA OSTAPENKO [LAT] -> SO WHAT [P!NK] KAROLÍNA MUCHOVÁ [CZE] -> A BEGINNING SONG [THE DECEMBERISTS] DARIA KASATKINA [RUS] -> LIGHT MY LOVE [GRETA VAN FLEET]

[dontneedmemories]

.

tag drop pt 1

[prosypepper]

lucky you! feat. k. nanami

cw: very very suggestive, not proofread at all, probably bad, inspired by my new tattoo ^3^. 18+ mdni!

kento nanami knew his wife was full of surprises.

he learned this exactly three months into your relationship, before the years of marriage and life together, after you undressed for the first time. well—it was more like, after you guys were done with your first time, cuddled up in bed afterwards.

you’d thrown a leg over him, blank ink against the skin under your ass caught his attention. he tried to crane his neck as much as possible without startling you—trying to make out the detail on your leg he somehow missed.

he glanced in the mirror. though tiny, the cursive black letters curved against the round of your ass, and read out two words:

lucky you!

that was about the hottest thing kento had ever seen in his life. so much so he was almost convinced to wake you up for another round—until you began to snore against his chest.

he asked you about it the morning after.

“oh that? i was drunk and my friends convinced me to get it. i’m glad it’s in a place no one can see it.”

secretly, and almost selfishly, kento was too. he took a liking to the tattoo, for reasons unknown to you and to him too, really. he made a point running his thumb over it, started touching your backside more, even pulling up your dress just to see it. to run his hands over it.

to remind him that, yes, he was in fact lucky to even know of such a thing on your body.

what you didn’t know is that your husband is also full of surprises.

later down the line, after a very long work trip, your husband was finally home. he wasn’t your husband then—but he may as well have been. the tension of not seeing one another for so long snapped in an instant, right in the living room.

hands all over eachother, grabbing and kissing and leaving marks on one another’s skin, you dropping to the floor almost immediately—too quick for kento’s liking.

nonetheless, he let you unbuckle his belt and then undo his slacks, you took in his scent like a drug. he bit his lip in anticipation, lifting his hips for you to discard of his pants, almost drawing blood when your fingers hooked into his boxers. you pulled them down slow, teasing, looking him straight in the eyes.

yet something else caught your attention, two words in an almost identical cursive font on the top of your husband’s right thigh, dangerously close to his v-line:

lucky you!

[spurbleu]

i really need johnny with a bird who’s never been eaten out before because I know that man is hungry.

johnny and you have been inseparable since the cradle. a friendship older than his siblings children. which means the both of you are entirely transparent with each other- the skin and bones of your stories is consumed without question. that includes, appropriate or not, sexual encounters.

when you tell him, he’s just shy of appalled. given, you hadn’t been with too many men, but enough that it’s strange none of them have even offered to get their mouth between your legs. especially with how good he knows they’d feel, on his-their shoulders. how sweet you probably taste. how hot it would be to watch you- fuck.

“ah will.”

you throw a confused look over your shoulder as you pour the both of you another cup of tea.

“you’ll what?”

“eat ye out.”

you feel the lavender go up your nose and steam your sinus until it short circuits. you miscalculate where the stove is, and set the pot down with a loud clank. wincing, you look back up at him, searching the blue of his eyes for any sign of humor.

when you come up empty handed you realize he’s entirely serious.

“johnny- i don’t think-“

“donae play coy nae, ah wanna show ye whatcha been missin’.”

your lips flatten into a harsh line. you run your tongue on the backs of your teeth, trying to collect any courage you’ve got in you to respond. friends don’t eat each other out…right?

but he’s doing it to help you. to…show you what you’ve been missing. a favor. a kindness between you and the strong, wide shoulders you’ve cried on.

your mouth is sticky when you respond. “okay.”

his grin is wolfish. “aye, tha’s a girl.”

he guides you to the couch, with enough gentleness to make you flush. kneels between your legs as you rest up against the pillows he set behind the arch of your back. slides your pants off with one hand, the other on your waist, thumb swiping in a soothing rhythm below your belly button.

you feel like syrup, leaning your head back and missing the way he licks his lips when he looks at your damp panties.

“relax, hen. yer gonna enjoy tis, promise.”

he does not eat you out with the same softness he prepped you with. slides your panties to the side and immediately shoves his nose between your mounds, and you gasp, spine arching away from the pillows instinctively. he laughs, but it’s muffled by your soaked lips.

explores every fold until you don’t know if you’re soaked by your own arousal, or his spit. but doesn’t matter, because soon he focuses on your clit, and your hands come to crowd his hair. tugging at his mohawk, rolling your hips forward into his face.

“w-wait…hah..”

he doesn’t, tongue ruthless against you. the sensitivity burns- new sensations flaring up from your core to your belly, legs beginning to shake. he feels it, and hooks them around his shoulders.

he’s messy, too. the sounds echoing off your cunt and against his nose are obscene, but he doesn’t quit it until you’re riding his face and to lost in your bliss to still operate under your usual shyness.

you silently wonder what he’s getting out of this. you’ve been friends forever, and although sometimes your banter feels flirtatiously charged, neither have ever acted on it. something you acknowledge but never name. water it and then shove it back in the closet you played dress up in as kids.

and now he’s eating you out. for fun.

you want to ask him, but you only get as far as, “J-Johnny…Johnny fuck- fff…w-why?”

you moan when he separates from your swollen cunt, only to be yanked from your stupor when he pulls you closer to his mouth by your hips.

“because,” again, eyes uncharacteristically serious, “ah’ve been tryin’ fer years.”

dives back in, and adds his two fingers deep into your hole as he sucks on your clit. at that, you cum over his face, limbs crowding his head with the incoherent curses your orgasms rips out of you.

when he pulls back away from you, he gives your cunt a harsh pat, and pulls your mouth apart with his thumb, before placing his fingers on your tongue.

“taste tha’?” his stare is hungry, like he didn’t swallow everything you had, “tha’s what the bastart’s you’ve been wastin’ yerself on have’bin missin’.”

you nod, like you’ve been taught a lesson. he pulls his fingers away, stands and stretches. when he looks back at you again, whatever beast possessed him is gone, and he smiles at you smugly.

“fun, yeah?”

you lean your head back, spent, “fuck off.”

“aw, c’mon nae, no tank yew? shame on ye, using me like tat.”

you throw your hands in the air. “you offered!”

he laughs, and the air is normal. you almost forget you’re naked. almost forget you came over his face.

almost miss how he pockets your panties before grabbing the cups of tea from the kitchen.

[anantaru]

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ jealous boys — love and deepspace

including. zayne, xavier, rafayel, sylus, caleb

warnings. fem! reader, possessive tendencies, jealous boys, toxic, fingering, oral (male! receiving), oral (fem! receiving), good girl used, spit kink, mirror syx, this is so filthy lmao (especially sylus part)

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ zayne

zayne usually doesn't get angry when he's feeling the sudden dash of jealousy crush down on him— he gets calm, in fact, terrifyingly so.

not to mention that the moment he has you all to himself again he's fast on latching onto you with your back now hitting the wall with one of his hands by your head, the other already between your legs, skimming the flesh of your inner thigh with his cold knuckles, memorizing the place where your leg connects to your privates before you can react nor do something.

zayne doesn't say anything to you yet, instead his lips brush against yours once— soft and misleading before he bites down, hard, and before you knew it, your surprised gasp gave him permission for his tongue to fill your mouth like a sin made of salt and heat, in accessory to his fingers stroking your pussy so unbelievably dirty and cruel.

"you smiled at him, i saw it," he whispers against your lips, rubbing your folds as you make a blissful face, "what did he do to earn that?" zayne presses his fingers deeper between your legs as he watches you grind against them, jaw slacked in awe as you coat him with your slick.

"you know, i could fuck you right here," his voice drops, thick with restraint, "perhaps even in front of him, so he knows who you belong to," as his mouth descends again, this time trailing along your jaw, your neck and your collarbone as his sharp teeth tease the flesh with his fingers hooking into your doused panties.

"fuck, you're dripping baby, what are we gonna do about that, huh?" he hisses, his dangerous gaze on you practically glowing in the dark as he taunts your bare pussy like the way you've been making him jealous tonight.

"you like being fought over, don’t you?"

he licks the skin over your pulse before dipping a finger into your tight hole, slowly, menacing, your slick weeping out of your pussy with the slightest pressure, your hole parting for him ever so obediently— and zayne swears he saw the prettiest kind of stars behind your eyes when he slides another finger inside you, curling and owning your cunt, making your stomach turn weightless.

yet the kiss that follows next turned brutal with teeth and spit and groans as if he's feeding off you, imbedding all of his frustration into your frame as if your mouth was the only thing roping him to sanity.

"don't you ever do this again."

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ xavier

before he even touches you, xavier's trembling— and without a doubt, you've said another man's name, and he's heard it, undoubtedly picked up on how you spelled it out.

so when he kisses you for the first time that night— it wasn't near anything sweet, beyond that was it unraveling, lips trembling and tongue somewhat clumsy and anxious, yet he remained deeply passionate, although wrecked, a moan building into every breath when he slants down one of his hands to squeeze your ass and part your thighs.

"who were you talking to? hm?" he whispers into your mouth before grinding down his groin against your clit, and then, again, more brokenness adds to his confused tone, "do you love me?" and when he says it, he lines himself up with your hole, and the feel of your pussy immediately squeezing and convulsing and claiming his dripping dick was enough to make him wince out your name.

his hips grind into yours harder and more despairing, "i need you," he sobs into your neck as you're feeling him rock himself thick and heavy inside your walls, "you can't leave me, you cannot."

his hands shake as they slide up your tits and at the same time, his mouth became frantic— tongue swallowing yours and teeth clacking, it's gotten so messy that spit began dripping down your chin when you moan his name into the kiss, fingers tangling in his hair and then he breaks— kissing you like he's dying, pounding you down like he's attempting to carve himself into your bones.

"say you're mine, come on," he begs you, his voice decaying into something crushing, velvet and low, the kind of softness that only existed in darkened bedrooms and godless prayers, "even if it's a lie baby, just tonight, say it, please."

and when you do— he sloppily sobs into your mouth with his hips stuttering within a deep thrust, swiftly lifting your legs onto his shoulders and holding onto them with ease as he continues to buck into you, never gentle, only desperate.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ rafayel

in all aspects, rafayel's jealousy was much quieter than you originally thought it would be— as well as colder in a way which made your skin crawl.

you see, he doesn't shout at you, no— he seethes, and when he touches you, it's never rushed, instead it's intentional, dangerous, like he's punishing you with refusing to give you pleasure.

he crushes you against the mirror like he's trying to make you witness your own undoing, the glass beginning to fog and blur as he fucks your thighs— and with that, you see the curve of your mouth as it falls open, the helpless arch of your spine and behind you, his very eyes— half-lidded, ravenous, like he's not just watching but branding the image into eternity.

your reflection became a witness, a confessional, every noise you were making and every beg for him had to enter his mind fully— those desperate, broken sounds— etched into silver and silence as rafayel wasn't giving you what you wanted this time, his mind circling endlessly in shameful memory as he fucks his erection into the plush of your thighs, never once actually pressing inside your warm cunt to feel inside.

his mouth hovers over your neck before he bites down on it, "you touched his arm," he whispers, but it's not sweet, no, not reminding you of the rafayel you called your boyfriend— it's venom in silk, low and coaxing, the kind of voice that wrapped around your throat while pretending to cradle it, "do you want me to break it?"

then his tongue slides against your neck— long, smooth, calculated as his kiss was equal to liquid sin, measured in chaos before his hands cup the plush of your ass to spread you and finally press into your soaked cunt, balls deep like he's sculpting you into the shape of his length.

yet the man doesn’t grunt, he hums instead, like he's tasting expensive wine and it's in the way his eyes half-close from listening to your moans dragging low from your throat— like the feeling of you milking him was intoxicating enough to unmake his jealousy.

“tell me what he has that I don't," he drawls, teeth grazing your shoulder, "and i'll take it from him," as he bites down hard enough for your flesh to almost bleed before kissing the pulsing spot, dragging his erection till you felt hot and bred in your stomach, his hips making sinful smack, smack, smacks as your body tenses by itself.

you spell out his name, but it somehow felt even dirtier when you moan in, messier than before when you cry it out as he fucks you with a ferocity that knocks the air from your lungs.

"good girl," he purrs, happy with you, "now let me hear you scream."

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ sylus

mouth wide, tongue deep, with hands rough around sylus's length as he yanks your head deeper into his lap like he's afraid someone will tear your pretty, hot mouth away. fuck, how much he adored seeing you in such position, between his thighs, gurgling on his dick and watching him from under your doused lashes.

"mine," he snarls from above, fingers intertwined in your hair as he helps you bob your head up n down up n down, "all mine."

your mouth sealed around his cock felt like a wildfire to him— smoking hot, a destruction only you could imbed on him— and sometimes it scared him, how much power you held for him to become so riled up when seeing you with another person.

your tongue circles around his cockhead and doesn't ask for permission to go faster, your mouth claiming the moans you sought after instead— and it seizes sylus, truly it bruises him and fuck, if he sees you with this man again, he cannot promise himself to hold back.

thick and flushed, his cock twitches in your mouth and presses right against your throat, aching when you moan against his girth, spit bubbling from your lips and clinging onto his skin when he lifts his hips up to thrust into your wet warmth, gripping the couch underneath him for balance.

it's all so messy and wet, and you loved it— drooling all over his dick and taking the punishment like a good girl, gurgling and sucking and slurping it all up as sylus could barely catch his breath, heaving from the exhilarating desire you imposed on him.

the tension coiled on his body— tight, ravenous— a mounting pressure that climbed like a hymn chanted through gritted teeth, blistering toward something supernatural as you look up at him again, tear stricken eyes and wet mouth sucking him oh so well.

it’s not release that he needed, no, or not yet at least, but the unbearable promise of it, the kind of high that felt less like pleasure and more like divine punishment delivered through trembling flesh, and when you hum around him at last, sylus can almost forget his jealousy there.

for a moment he stops you as his hand silently wraps around your throat, thumb dragging down your swollen, bottom lip so he can spit into your mouth— messily, filthy and possessive, he needs this, okay?

because sylus still found himself agonizingly mad.

"did he make you blush like this?" he mocks you from above, slanting down and licking into your mouth, "did he get you this wet?" as he moves his foot between your legs to rub his shoe against your wet cunt, the scent of your arousal whirling up to touch his nostrils.

his other hand grabs your head, pulling you down again while simultaneously grinding his foot against your pussy— fuck, you're so soaked it's audible, so embarrassingly obscene he could very well applaud himself for this.

and he groans, a sound pulled from his chest like agony when you take him inside your mouth again.

"you drive me insane," he pants, leaning his head back, "you should be locked away, kept for my eyes only."

he doesn't stop moving you off his cock, not once, your lips moving and working, your tongue claiming him until your knees ached and your pussy came all over his shoe, your chin sticky with cum and saliva and filth, eyebrows pulled together in concentration as he watches you fuck his cock with your throat.

⋆. 𐙚 ̊ caleb

caleb spells out your name like it's a curse he never wanted to learn in the first place, and it kind of scared you a bit— teeth gritted and breathing harsh with his lips crashing into yours mid-sentence, bruising and unrelenting, his tongue pushing past yours like he's forcing himself inside— no space nor time for air, no room for a single thought, for denial.

his head moves between your thighs without restrain and now he feels you unravel in shivers and moans as the soft slap of his tongue on your pussy caught you off guard together with his palms cupping your breasts, his wet muscle lapping against your folds as they part for him obediently, licking between your cunt with sounds of slick noises echoing through the bedroom.

"you let him touch you? didn't you?" he rasps into your cunt, nosing your clit to take in your scent as he groans out filthily, his eyes lurching back into the hollow of his skull, not just in pleasure but in delirium— as if the taste of your pussy was something his body cannot withhold, "you think i didn't see it?"

he thrusts his tongue against you deeper, his cock hard and angry grinding into the mattress like he's punishing himself for letting anyone else near you, "i'll fucking ruin you for this," he growls, voice breaking, "with my fingers, my mouth, my cock— hell, over and over until you break,"

you moan when he lets you hear just how wet he's made you as he's slurping at you with insane hunger, his tongue ravishing your cunt and poking your hole over and over before dragging it up to lick between your folds again, collecting your slick on his lips an chin.

"is this for me? or for him?" tauntingly, Caleb never stopped playing with your pussy to hear a coherent answer form you, because you see, he already knows what you were about to say and he'll make you know as well, who you belong to.

©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

[iniquitousyearning]

SLYTHERINSLUT0’S KINKTOBER

fuckfest. the slytherins — groupsome / drunk sex.

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. | 2024.

summary: malfoy manor is a great place for drinks, laughs, and…. orgys?

warnings: 18+ MDNI, SMUTTTTTT, porn with negative 100 plot, literally just sex and mentions of alcohol, group of uni students that love to consensually gangbang when they have the chance (sorry i’m cackling at that), pansy and reader kiss a few times, multiple orgasms from some of the boys, anal sex, fingering, oral.

Habits are simple, predictable things, slipping into your life without much thought. Some are reckless, some harmless. And some, well—some come with the taste of someone else's lips.

You're not sure when kissing Pansy Parkinson became one of them. What started as a drunken dare, a little more fun than you'd planned for, has now undoubtedly turned into something else—something almost close to ritual. With every night that stretches long, every round of drinks that comes too fast, it's inevitable that your lips will find hers at one point or another, like clockwork.

And a habit is just a habit, but this one—this one you never feel like breaking.

"You ever try body shots with tequila?" Pansy whispers, breath warm against your lips as her smirk hooks you, the same way it always does.

"Plenty of times." You grin back, your mouth barely brushing hers. "What, you want me to lay back for you, Parkinson? Shirt pulled down—or off?"

Theo whistles, and Pansy giggles. They've seen this before, watched it unfold in countless variations, yet it's still equally as entertaining every single time.

"Pull it down, take it off, whatever gets me there faster." She's already moving, grabbing lime and salt with hands that are too steady for how much you've all been drinking. "You know I won't complain either way."

You pour her a shot, liquid gold catching the dim light in the room. You feel the weight of every inebriated gaze on you—Draco, Blaise, Enzo, Mattheo, Theo—all of them watching, same way they always do when you and Pansy put on a show.

You blink and she’s back in front of you, lime and salt in hand. You feel bold, drunk on the moment as you hook your fingers under the hem of your shirt, leaning into her kiss only to break it as you pull the fabric over your head. The boys shift around you—more whistles—and Pansy's hands find your face, greedy and gentle all at once, barely giving you a moment to toss the shirt aside before she nudges you onto your back.

"You're so fucking hot," she purrs, slinking between you and the boys who are seated around the table, grinning. "Tilt your head, that's it—here—"

She nestles the cool shot glass between your tits while sprinkling the salt on your neck—then, the lime slice is between your teeth before you can even register it, and now you're staring straight at Blaise—his dark eyes roving over you like a feast, lips parted just enough that you can imagine the feel of them pressed against your own.

Your thighs tense, heat pooling low in your stomach.

"The boys wanted a show," Pansy whispers as she pulls off her own shirt. "They'll get one."

You hum in agreement and she works like she's done this a hundred times— shot glass disappearing between her lips, tossing the tequila back before she sets it aside— warm tongue dragging along the line of salt on your skin, moving up to suck juice from the lime between your lips. She meets your eyes for what feels like a split second before the lime is yanked free and her mouth is on yours, lips tasting like tequila and salt and something wild—

You close your eyes against the flood of sensation—the alcohol, the heat, the spinning of the room—and kiss her back with equal fervour. Her lips crush yours, sloppy and wild, a thousand impulses spinning through your mind and inevitably, you're too weak to fight them, tugging her closer as a result.

Pansy huffs, fingers curling into your hair as she crawls on top of you—straddling your hips on top of the table as one hand slips down to your chest. The boys are muttering things that you can't hear as the kiss is frantic now, teeth grazing, tongues tangled, the taste of lime and tequila lingering in each exhale.

"Gods, Pansy," you gasp into her mouth, hands sliding down her waist, digging into the fabric of her skirt. "You're insatiable."

She pulls back just enough to smirk, breathless, her dark eyes glinting. "I could say the same about you, babe."

You feel the tension in her greedy fingers as they curl against your scalp, her weight pressing you down into the table, and suddenly—all the teasing, all the playing at flirting feels too far away—you need her closer, need to take control back, need to feel her beneath you instead of towering over you—

"Pans—" your hands find her hips, gripping tight as you push against her, trying to flip her onto her back—but in your haste, you misjudge the edge of the table and before you can stop her she's tumbling forward, off the side, straight into Draco's lap. "Oh—shit—"

Everyone gasps, the room pausing for a moment and you're vaguely aware of Blaise's hands clutching your waist, pulling you steady into his lap as you teeter off the table too, the tequila making your head spin. Pansy is sprawled over Draco on the floor, skirt hitched high enough to give the rest of you a perfect view of her ass—to which everyone in the room is admiring. Shamelessly.

It's a spectacle—and the boys have always loved a fucking spectacle.

"Merlin's sake—" Draco grunts as Pansy slumps over him, straddling his waist. You catch the way his hands grip her thighs, fingers flexing like they don't quite know what to do with themselves. "Always the bloody dramatics with you two.”

"I'm not even sorry." Pansy grins, unrepentant as ever as she leans into Draco's neck, teasing like nothing's even happened, like she's perfectly content to remain there, straddling his lap. "You make a good seat."

Draco scoffs, and Theo snickers from across the table.

"You're a menace." The words from Draco's lips sound a lot like praise, and something about the way his eyes flutter shut when Pansy's tongue finds the sensitive skin at his throat makes your mouth go dry. "You're alright, though?"

"Fine," she murmurs, though her tone suggests she's thinking of anything but her well-being. "Totally fine." Her fingers brush over his chest, tracing the buttons of his shirt. "Are...are you fine?"

"I'm—" his voice catches when her fingers undo the first button. "I'm fine."

"You are," she agrees, voice a little hoarse, as she undoes the second, then the third. "Very, very fine."

Draco's face flushes, and there's a sheepish edge to his smile as his hands—almost without thought—begin to slide higher, fingers trailing under the hem of her skirt, pulling it just a little further up her hips. Her eyes flutter closed for just a second as he settles over the curve of her ass, and there's a spark, a shiver of something between them—

Your gaze flicks to Blaise, feeling his presence at your back—solid, grounding, the warmth of his chest pressed against you as you lean into him. You don't have to see him to know he's watching, though you find the confirmation anyways, his dark eyes tracing every movement, every shift between the two heated Slytherins on the floor.

When you glance back, you see the boys are all watching, too—Theo, Enzo, Mattheo—all glued to the sight, silent in their anticipation.

Pansy grinds down, and Draco's head tips back, eyes closed, hands clinging to her hips, her ass, anywhere he can find—

"They don't waste any time, do they?" Blaise murmurs, words a tickle at your pulse, the sound of his voice pulling you back into your own body, your own skin.

You shiver as his fingers trail lightly up your ribs, teasing the edge of your black lace bra—you tilt your head and you catch Theo's gaze sliding over you, flicking back and forth between Pansy's legs and the way Blaise's hands have begun their slow exploration along your sides. You grin as you meet Enzo's eyes next, his lip pulled between his teeth, fingers tracing the rim of his cup—

"You could take notes, Zabini," you murmur, the words catching in your throat as his lips graze your shoulder—so close, too close.

"Me? Take notes?" He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the spot just below your ear. "I've already got it down to a science, baby.”

"Yeah?" You hum, lost in the feel of his mouth on your skin, the way his fingers are edging dangerously close to your breasts. You can feel Mattheo's gaze, burning into you from across the table, but you don't dare look, you'd crack if you did. "You sure about that?"

"Quiz me if you'd like." As if to prove his point, he pushes past the fabric of your bra, long fingers finding a nipple, and your hips twitch of their own accord, a gasp leaving your lips.  "I'll pass any test you give me."

"Cocky." There's a slight edge to your voice as you roll your hips, meeting his heat with your own—just to distract him, of course. "You're gonna' make the others jealous."

"They'll have their fun," his finger toys with the clasp of your bra, now. You feel him undo it. "I want you first."

"Oh," you gasp at the sensation of cool air against bare skin as he yanks it off your arms, exposing your tits to everyone at the table. "Cocky and greedy."

"You'd expect nothing less, baby." He practically growls.

You choke on a moan. "Blaise-"

"That's my name," he's groping, his fingers pinching your nipples just hard enough to make you squeak. "I know you're real familiar with it."

Pansy's moans, soft and breathy, fill the space as Draco works her out of her skirt, mouth moving between her thighs. You clench—seeing them—her fingers in his hair, her gasps growing louder and more frantic—your pulse quickens—

"Jealous?" Blaise's taunts, having caught you staring.

You shake your head, but—Merlin, how could you not be? You'd give just about anything to relieve the heat between your thighs. To feel the heat of all the eyes watching you right now against your skin. Mattheo, Theo, Enzo—

"Not jealous." Even you can hear how breathless you sound. "Just impatient."

"Patience is a virtue," Blaise says, all mock-virtuousness, squeezing your tits again, as if to punish you for being impatient. "One I'm happy to reward—"

Mattheo is the first to snap, shoving the half-empty bottle of alcohol aside and standing up, chair scraping across the floor. Theo considers doing the same, you can tell, eyes still glued to your half-naked body as he drains his cup in one gulp. Your eyes flick to Enzo, who's merely staring, his lip still being bitten to death between his teeth.

Merlin help you.

Mattheo strolls around the table—eyes roaming as he moves, stopping just behind where you sit on Blaise's lap, breath warm on the back of your neck as he murmurs in your ear—

"I've been patient." You think it's to Blaise. "Where's my reward."

Blaise snorts, and then Theo stands up.

"We've been patient." He's looking at Blaise, lips just starting to grin. "Real, real patient."

Enzo laughs as he rises, too—all three of them forming a loose semi-circle around you and Blaise. You can almost taste the testosterone—hot and eager and hungry—as their eyes rake over you.

Blaise tugs you closer, his hands sliding down to your hips. "I'm feeling outnumbered."

"You're outnumbered," Theo agrees, smirk growing as his fingers wrap around your wrist, tugging you off Blaise's lap and to your feet. "You're also outvoted. You think we're going to just sit around and watch?"

"Not a chance in hell," Mattheo growls as he moves behind you, calloused hand running up your thigh.

Blaise grunts from where he's still seated, watching you with molten eyes, "you lot are animals, you know that?"

You almost laugh at that, considering he had your bra off in minutes.

"We're just—eager." Theo whispers, leaning in just enough to breathe against your neck, kissing a path up your jaw while Mattheo's hands work at undoing your skirt. You're so turned on you're not sure how you're not dripping down your thighs. "I wanted to be inside you three fucking hours ago."

You whimper at his words, the thick air of the room suddenly too much as Mattheo's hands push your skirt down your legs.

"Three hours is generous." Enzo's moving now, but he isn't looking at you—his eyes are locked on Pansy as Draco slams into her—the two of them locked in a trance. "My head's been filled with filth since this afternoon."

"Filth?" Blaise cocks an eyebrow. "Is that what you're calling it now?"

"Filth," Mattheo husks, and his hand comes up to wrap around your throat—lips pressed to your ear. "All I've been able to think about for the past week."

Your hips twitch at the pressure against your throat—and you moan louder than Pansy. "Gods—if one of you doesn't fuck me in the next minute—"

"Told you," Blaise chuckles, watching Mattheo's hand around your throat like a hawk. "Animal."

"Then what?" Mattheo ignores him—fingers pressing against your pulse just a little harder as he pulls you flush against him, teeth finding your ear, and you feel Theo's fingers trail down your front, teasing your slit. "What're you gonna do?"

"Fuck," you mutter, breathless, hips jerking toward the touch. "I'll die—"

"Oh, that's not good." Enzo's looking now, circling around to stand on your free side, his gaze traveling from your face, down your body, to where Theo's fingers are centimetres from pushing into your soaked cunt. "Is it our responsibility to prevent that?"

"Probably. It's only the right thing to do." Mattheo's cooes against your neck. "Can't have you dying on us, now can we?"

"Mm. Not the only," Theo murmurs, pressing his lips to yours as he pushes a finger inside you. "I can think of a dozen things to do right now."

"A dozen?" Blaise scoffs. You're starting to hate the sound of his teasing fucking tone. "Only a dozen?"

You can't even reply—any words you possess are swallowed by another moan as a second, then a third, of Theo's fingers push deep into you. Even his fingers are long, you think. You forgot just how big—

"Merlin, Theo—fuck—"

"That's the idea," he grins against your lips—you moan again when his fingers curl deep.

"You like that?" Mattheos hands are all over you—your tits, your ass, the press of his chest against your bare back—and you think that you need to see his face, need to see his eyes. "You need more?"

"Yes." You're not sure if you're speaking to Mattheo, or Theo, or Enzo or Blaise, or all of them. "Yes, please—please—"

"Oh good," Blaise muses. "She's polite."

"Of course she is," Theo groans as your cunt clenches around his digits—your slick sounds filling the space between you, mingling with the sound of skin smacking from a few feet away. "So good for us."

"Mm," Mattheo adds, teeth scraping over your shoulder, squeezing your ass to make you gasp. "Very."

"A real angel," Enzo purrs, still circling like a fucking shark, eyes flitting over to Pansy and Draco again as her moans grow louder, more insistent. "Especially when she's begging."

It's all too much—Theo's fingers pumping deep, his thumb swirling your clit, the sounds of Draco and Pansy and the feel of hands and lips and intoxicated eyes everywhere—

Your head falls back against Mattheo’s shoulder. "Oh, please—fuck—please—"

"What're you begging for, Bellissima?" Theo murmurs, drawing your eyes back to his. "Wanna use your words?"

You gasp as his fingers move faster, deeper, as if he's trying to pull the words out of your throat. "Need—"

Blaise snickers. "Yes?"

"Need to cum—" you cry out, hysterical as Mattheo pinches your nipples, groans against your neck. "Need to be—fucked—"

"And I'm the greedy one." That's Blaise again, insufferable as ever.

"We like greedy," Theo grins against your mouth, fingers crooking, and your knees buckle. "Right, boys?"

"We do," Mattheo growls.

"We like it a lot," Enzo agrees, his eyes finally meeting yours. "We love it."

"Then what're you waiting for," you gasp, unable to take much more of the heat building, twisting, every point of contact sending a new wave of need through your body. "Give it to me—"

"Give you what?" It's Blaise again—God, he's driving you fucking insane tonight. "You gotta be more specific, babygirl."

"Give—ohh—" your orgasm is right there. Right. Fucking. There. "Give me your fucking dick, Zabini—fuck—you called first—"

"Oh I did, didn't I?" Blaise still hasn't moved from his seat, but you can see the way his trousers are straining. "Guess it's my lucky day."

Theo lets loose a groan, and you can feel his hips jerking in rhythm with his fingers. "Thank Merlin for small favours."

"Lucky for all of us, really." The corner of Blaise's mouth twitches, almost with the suggestion of a smile. "Don't you think, Enzo?"

Before you can even comprehend Enzo's response, Theo curls his fingers just right, thumb rubbing your clit just right, Mattheo groping your chest and kissing your neck just fucking right—and then you're there—climax charging you, release spilling all over Theo's fingers—

"Oh, fuck—yesyesyes—"

You cry out and shudder forward, only being held up by Theo and Mattheos hands, and you're barely back on earth before you feel Blaise's fingers under your thighs—urging you back and laying you out across the table as if you're a fucking feast for him—

"Patience," Blaise grins down at you, hands finding your thighs, squeezing hard enough to drag you back to reality and realize he's got his trousers undone. "Is really such a virtue."

"Right," you mumble, still breathless as you look up at him. "Too bad I'm fresh out."

Blaise chuckles at that. "I can tell."

Fuck this—

"Blaise—if you don't fuck me right now—" you push up from the table, urging him back into the chair he was sitting in. "I will let everyone else fuck me first and make goddamn sure you watch."

There's a flicker of surprise in Blaise's eyes as he slumps back in the chair—Mattheo snorts behind you and for a second you wonder if you may have just gone too far—

"Not a chance," he smiles, his words coming out in a growl that's all heat and lust and something just a little dangerous. "We'll have none of that."

And then, he's on his feet again. But this time, when he touches you, it’s firm and fast and not at all gentle. He directs you around the table before bending you over it, and you hear someone—Theo, you think?—groan like they're in pain, the sound swallowed by a desperate moan that you know for certain is Pansy's.

Your eyes flutter when you hear it—you just don't know where to look—

"No, look up. Up." Blaise's hand is in your hair, forcing you to look up from the table, and you realize where the sound came from. "I want you to watch."

Your head's spinning in a way you're sure is not entirely from the alcohol, and it only intensifies when your eyes focus on the scene just across the room—Draco and Pansy sprawled on the couch, now, Pansy riding him while stroking Enzo's insistent dick, his glossed eyes glued to yours, watching, just watching—

Blaise's hand is still in your hair. "That's it. Watch."

Enzo smiles at you, cheeky and fucking taunting before Pansy tightens her grip while jerking him off and his head tips back—

"Gonna' be good for me," Blaise murmurs against your back—his tip pressing against your dripping entrance. "Gonna' take it all for me?"

"Yes," you gasp, catching a glimpse of Mattheo and Theo just off to the side of you, sharing a smoke. "Fuck yes—"

"That's it, baby. Just relax," he cooes, and then he's pushing into you. "Relax and enjoy it—"

There's a sting as he stretches you, and keeps stretching you until he's bottoming out far fucking deeper than you'd remembered—there's a moan from you that gets tangled between your teeth, a gasp from infront you, a moan from someone else, and—gods, if Blaise doesn't start moving—

"Blaise—oh, fuck—"

Blaise gives a low moan as your walls flutter around him, a swear under his breath that's punctuated with a hard squeeze of your hip. "Good—god—Merlin—"

He pulls out just enough to make you cry out, shameless—and it melds with Pansy's from across the room.

"Shh," Mattheo steps infront of you, blocking your view of Pansy and Draco and Enzo. "Let Blaise feel you—"

—and suddenly, Mattheo's hand is on your jaw, forcing your head back, coaxing your eyes to his. His other hand disappears, down past his belt, and you moan again—wet walls squeezing Blaise as he slowly starts to rock into you.

"I wanna' fuck your throat," Mattheo murmurs, so close you can feel his breath on your lips. "Badly."

"So needy," your words are a breathless moan, but Mattheo doesn't seem to mind—he just grins as he unbuttons his trousers. "Can't even watch for five minutes without—"

"I know, I can't," he interrupts, and his hand's back at your jaw, gripping hard. "You've got me too fucking hard."

You're about to reply with another smartass comment, but Theo saddles up next to his fellow Slytherin and before you can blink his hand is on the back of your head, tangling in your hair, angling your lips toward Mattheo's now-exposed cock—

"Don't worry about the smart mouth," Theo leans down close to you, every intention of cutting off your reply. "We have other uses for it."

You'd probably roll your eyes at the phrase if it wasn't for Mattheo's dick pushing past your teeth and hitting the back of your throat so quick you gag— eyes squeezed shut as Blaise bottoms out, again and again.

"That's one of them." he adds with a smirk, watching you choke on his best friends dick.

You can't even think. Every thought that enters your head is immediately replaced with another moan, another sensation, another need, another—

"Draco! Fuck!" You hear Pansy cry out from the couch.

"Keep going, Pans," Enzo grunts, his voice sounding choked. "Just like that."

"She taking you good, Blaise?" The question comes out in a moan of his own—you think it's Draco—and you wonder idly who's doing what over there now. "Tight as I remember?"

“Tight and wet and—fuck—" Blaise's voice has taken on a new level of strangled, desperate, need that's almost too raw to hear it, and— "she's—good. She's good."

"That's it," Draco grunts again, like he's pleased to hear it. "She's an—oh, yes, Pansy, fuck—"

The noise from the couch is too much—you're not able to think past the fullness—the desperate, overwhelming heat that's consumed you, and that's when you feel a pair of lips at your ear—

"Does it feel good?" Theo's words are barely louder than a whisper, your gagging sounds almost drowning them out. He grabs your hand, slowly bringing it to his crotch. "Having us like this?"

Your fingers are clumsy, shaky as they wrap around him and try to push his trousers down—it's hard to see past the water in your eyes but once you do you're rewarded with a gasp and a low swear under his breath that sounds so damn good you want to hear it a million times more.

"Mmmfff." You moan around Mattheo as Blaise's fingers find your clit, coaxing you towards a high you're not sure you can handle—

"That's it," Theo whispers, moving your hand just the way he likes it. His fingers are tangled with yours while his free hand finds your hair again, shoving you closer to Mattheo. "Fuck. That's it."

Everything is spinning and whirling in the best way, the best possible way, and you know you're there, so close, but it's so hard to think, so hard to do anything—when—

"You gonna' cum for us, baby?" Another pair of lips at your ear, not Theo's voice, but Blaise's—ragged with his deep thrusts. "Gonna' cum for us good and hard?"

Your response, which most likely would have been something along the lines of: "yes" or "please" or "gods yes fucking please," is completely smothered by Mattheo—his hand at the back of your head alongside Theo's, fingers tangled in your hair, cockhead slamming the back of your throat over and over and over—

"Then do it," Blaise knows your answer anyways. His fingers rub quicker, his hips piston faster. "Now."

And it's in this moment where you lose yourself completely—the world narrows down to your body, every sensation flooding through you, and the fucking sounds—Pansy's moans, Theo's groans, Blaise's pants, Mattheo's swearing, Draco's whimpers and Enzo's fucking grunting—where you can't do a goddamn thing to stop it, not that you even wanted to. You do what Blaise told you, cumming so hard you see stars behind your eyes, and for one blissful, everlasting second—you feel nothing but pure unadulterated pleasure, until it all comes rushing back with force.

You think you hear Theo say "good girl" as your body tenses—shaking, trembling, clenching around Blaise so hard his pace falters and his hips slow and his thrusts turn erratic—and then you feel it—the result of his pent up passion as he slows to to an absolute standstill—spilling his cum deep into your cunt while he shudders against you, gasping out a curse that might have been your name.

"Oh, fuck," he groans, slowly—carefully—and you feel him pull out of you just as Mattheo moans, hands tightening in your hair, spilling his own release down your throat. "Oh, sweet Merlin."

It takes a moment for reality to filter back in, and you try to catch your breath in a way that's probably not very dignified. You're not quite sure what to do with yourself—and quite frankly, you're not given the chance to figure it out as Mattheo pulls out too and Theo slips up behind you—

"Come here, Bella," he murmurs, his lips at your ear again—he sounds like he's trying to catch his breath, too. Through the fog you remember that at one point you were jerking him off—and you feel the confirmation of his need still hard against your ass as he pulls you up against him. "There we go. Easy now."

You try to speak—you're not sure what you would even say—but your voice is as shaky as the rest of you, and all that comes out is a soft moan.

"She's—" Blaise's still trying to steady his breath as he slumps into his prior chair, trousers still half undone. "—she's on mars."

"I've a feeling we all are," Theo mutters, holding you against him. His fingers skim down your stomach, almost like he's mapping out the aftershocks. "Some more than others."

You can almost feel the way his eyes flick across the room with that—noting the way Draco's splayed out on the couch next to Pansy who's now riding Enzo and jerking a still half-hard Mattheo—

"Oh, relax," Draco scoffs, eyes shut and head tipped toward the ceiling. "I'll rejoin the land of the living in a moment."

"Sure, Draco," Mattheo huffs, and you can practically hear the roll of his eyes from here. "We'll be here when you do."

"Mm—fuck, Pansy—"

Enzo's moan cuts through their bantering and it's at that moment where Theo finally decides he's waited long enough—he grabs your wrist and pulls you away from the table, directing you to the couch where he slumps down and drags you into his lap, your thighs on either side of his—throbbing, leaking cock pressing against your cum soaked cunt.

You moan, and Pansy moans beside you.

"I think," Theo murmurs into your neck, his words as thick and as needy as his hardness, "I could get used to this."

"S'that right?" You try to keep your words cool, to be as unaffected as you'd like, but—there's no hiding the way your breath hitches, the way you move your hips just the slightest in his lap. "I can't say the same about your size."

"Take me at your own pace." He husks, a smirk you're sure is attached to the words. "I'm halfway there already from that handjob."

You'd laugh at that if you weren't still so breathless and shaky from before, so instead the laugh comes out as a needy moan as you slide forward, shifting in his lap until you feel his tip brush up against your already sensitive clit—

"Gods," you breathe out the word, bracing your hands on his shoulders. "Such a gentleman."

"Always," he replies, completely sincere just before his hands grab your hips and in one quick motion—he's guiding you down onto him. "Always for you."

You'd reply—you'd probably even say something that might be sweet, if you could, if the rest of the world didn't fade into a sort of pleasurable blankness as you sink down—down until the moan that leaves you is so unbridled that it should have been embarrassing if the whole fucking lot of you weren't so far passed embarrassment—because just the head of him is so thick and you're suddenly thankful Blaise stretched you out so deliciously because otherwise you think it'd be too much, too quick and—fuck.

You're still sensitive, and you know he can tell—

"Oh, she's tight." Theo's voice is low in your ear, his lips tracing your jawline. "Too much?"

"Never," you gasp out, offering some weak shake of your head. "Never too much."

He grins against your pulse, teeth scraping across your skin—

"Good."

He punctuates the word by sinking you down a bit more, the stretch of his shaft drawing out a moan from deep in your chest—

"And when it is?"

—he pauses, tightening his grip on your hips to pull you up slightly before sliding you back down—

"Tell me."

You're only half able to form the thought at this point—the other half of you is so preoccupied with the feeling of his hands holding you, his lips against your skin, his voice in your ear—you nod, anyway, and there's another moan from somewhere in the room—Enzo again, and it's more of a whimper than anything else.

"That’s it, Pansy, so good—"

"Feels good, Enzy?" Her response comes through gasps. "You like it like that?"

Blaise answers for them both—you catch a glimpse of him from the corner of your eye, slumped back in his chair with a new drink in hand. "Keep that up and he'll never leave that couch again."

"He's not the only one." Theo's words vibrate through you, and while you're not sure if it's the meaning behind them or the way they're sent deep into your neck with a hint of teeth, either way you have to swallow a moan before you can respond.

"Is that so?" You reply, doing your goddamn best to keep your voice steady as Theo's hips roll up into you again.

"It is so," he murmurs. "You think you can handle staying on this couch all summer?"

Summer. Hardly a week away. You think of the days and nights you're going to spend in this manor, in this room—in this room on this fucking couch—

His hands slip to your ass, guiding you up and down. "You think you could last another hour?"

"Mmm," you manage to get the sound out before he rolls up again, the perfect angle to hit that sensitive spot somewhere deep inside you and that's all you have to say before all other higher level thinking goes out the window. "Oh, Theo, you’re fucking deep—"

"I know," he replies, his breath harsh against your throat, his words lost between the moans you can't seem to keep from slipping out. "I know, bella, I know—"

Cocky bastard.

You lean down, pulling his head against your chest with hands in his hair and he follows. You'd think he'd try to pull back, just to say something witty with a smirk on his face—but instead he groans, his tongue flicking over your nipple and that's when you hear Mattheo grunt from somewhere beside you—

"Fuck me." His voice comes out as a gasp that he's struggling to keep from sounding strangled. Pansy's still lazily stroking him, multitasking while riding Enzo. "I'm so fucking hard again."

If you could manage a proper response, you might have said that was the idea—you'd probably have said something very clever about how you wouldn't mind letting him down your throat again.

You can still think, but the thought is a struggle, so all you manage is a breathless—

"Matt—“

"Mmm?" Hardly a hum—and for some reason it's so much more attractive than it probably should be. "Yes, princess?"

The way you shiver at the pet name is something you're going to have to examine at some point—not now, though, because if you have to put any more thought into any single thing you're going to explode.

"You—you—"

Theo interrupts before you can finish the sentence. "Fuck her, Riddle."

If Mattheo's surprise at Theo's apparent order is evident, it's masked by the moan he lets out as Pansy does something that must have felt especially good.

"I, fuck—I already fucked her throat, Nott. If you'd finish gatekeeping her—"

"She's got another hole, Riddle," Theo replies, with that self-assured tone that's too goddamn cocky to be legal and you wonder absently if he knows what it does to you as he gives a sharp, deliberate roll of his hips. "She can handle it, can't you, bella?"

You try to moan out an answer—you're sure there's a sound there—anything to let him know that yes, you not only can but that you're not sure there's anything you'd rather do—yet the words die before you can get them out as Mattheo is already moving—rough hands finding your ass, spreading your cheeks as he leans down to press a kiss to the dimples on your lower back. The sensation catches you off guard but you don't have time to think about that before you feel something wet—his saliva, you think—slick between your cheeks and then his fingers are there, rubbing and massaging against your tight hole—

And then, he's pressing a finger into you. "Oh—"

You're not even sure if your gasp is a reaction to Theo's movement or Mattheo's—all you know is that for a moment it all just combines into a whirlwind that seems to just drown all the oxygen out of your lungs completely—

"I know," Theo's breath is as laboured and rough as yours—the rumble of his words vibrating against your chest, your collarbone. "God, I know—"

"Jesus," another moan, strangled and needy, and it's not from you or Theo or even Enzo—it's from Mattheo. "Oh, this ass is tight—"

That's not something you're going to be able to get over—hearing that coming from him. "Oh fuck, Matt—"

"Mmm?" There's a smile in his voice—and you'd see it on his face if you were facing him, if all of his focus weren't so decidedly somewhere else. "You want me to fuck this perfect ass, don’t you?"

With that he pushes another finger into you while Theo wraps his arms around your waist to hold you steady to his chest. His hips cant up into you, and you swear you're on fire—Mattheo chuckles.

The sensation is so much you’re crying out again, his teasing turning infuriating. "You're a goddamn—ah—bastard—"

"Maybe so," he replies, with a smack to one of your asscheeks. "But a bastard that's going to—"

He stretches you out, pumping and scissoring slow, just as deliberate as everything else he does—and the moan you let out is enough to drown out whatever witty, dirty words you're sure he was going to follow that with—

"Fuck—fuck," the word is all you can manage as you brace your hands against Theo's shoulders, nails digging into his skin— "oh, fuck—"

Mattheo groans against your back and you swear it's intentional because he has to know what all of this is doing to you—what it's doing to Theo by association.

"Fuck, she likes that—" Theo's gasp hits you like a punch in the gut. "I should have—"

It's like there's a whole sentence, some snarky, perfectly articulate statement he had in mind, but whatever words it was comprised of are lost in the way he shivers—in the way his hips jerk more erratically due to how tight you're squeezing him—due to the way your walls spasm as Mattheos fingers keep pumping, stretching—

"Should have what?" It's a miracle you manage the words, and you're feeling particularly proud about the way it's more of a challenge than a question, even if it's half mumbled.

Whatever it is, he can't say it, and whatever retort you had for that is interrupted by the sound of a grunt—Enzo. His face is screwed up in pleasure, his breath is coming in ragged, uneven pants and there's a look in his eyes that looks distinctly broken.

Mattheo groans and pulls his fingers free. You feel the tip of his dick replacing them. "Can’t fucking wait any longer."

Enzo's eyes meet yours, then, and they're absolutely wrecked. "I'm going to—"

Pansy grins and moans out her reply. "Yeah, you are."

There's little else you can say—not that you'd have the words even if you weren't as lost as the rest of them. You just have a flash of thought about how you've never seen Enzo look like that before, open and vulnerable and completely at the mercy of whatever bliss he's riding right now, but then there's another feral moan escaping your lips—

"Oh, Gods, Mattheo!—"

Theo groans into your neck as Mattheo presses in and it takes merely two seconds before your eyes roll back—the way he sinks into your ass is a level of fullness you weren't sure you could reach, and even that's a thought that's too complex for you to process as your head drops, forehead pressed to Theo's shoulder.

There's a hiss from his lips, another muttered curse that you half catch as he bites at your collarbone, his hands moving back to squeeze your hips—

"Fuck, yes," Mattheo's voice sounds more strained than you've ever heard it. "Jesus Christ, that feels good—"

"Don't think the saviour would like you taking his name in vain," Blaise says, from somewhere in the room. "Not in this scenario at least."

No, he wouldn't, you think, but there's no way you've got the wherewithal to speak now—any focus you had is lost now that you're impaled on not one, but two cocks and it's like your entire nervous system's been turned over to the sensation of being so fucking full, so surrounded—of not being able to do anything except try to remember how to breathe.

It's not working very well.

"Mm," Theo's moans, fucking up into you nice and slow. "I think he'd understand."

"I think that's a rather blasphemous stance to take," Blaise replies. "Then again, given the scenario, perhaps that's not the most shocking revelation I've had of you all today."

"Blaise," Enzo groans, his tone somewhere between pleading and demanding. "Are you really going to try and have a conversation right now?"

"Just making an observation," Blaise says casually, and you swear that part of your brain that still functions can see the smirk plastered on his face in your mind. "Merely commenting about the depravity on display."

"Your commentary is duly noted," Mattheo breathes, his words punctuated by a low moan as he smacks your ass. "And dismissed."

There's a grumble of agreement through the room at that, including one from you, but all your words come out as a gasp—

Theo loves you like this. You can tell he's fucking savouring it. "That's it, bella. You don't need to do more than that."

Part of you wants to protest the statement, wants to argue that you have it in you to contribute more, but no matter how hard you try—and you do try—all that comes out around the moans is an inarticulate mess.

"Yeah, that's it," Mattheo groans, and you'd be embarrassed about how utterly ruined by all of this you are if you could focus on anything other than the two dicks pumping you in rhythm. "Just let me and Nott take care of your—mmf—tight fuckin' holes."

There's a whine that worms its way out of your chest and through your lips at that, and you don't know what it's begging for—just that it's begging, and all your mind cares about right now is that Theo and Mattheo understand that.

Theo's response is a moan of his own and a hand finding the back of your neck, his fingers wrapping around your hair. "So fucking wet—tight—"

"And taking us so goddamn well," Mattheo adds as one of his hands grab your ass again, spreading you open. "Fucking hell—I'm so close—"

"So are we," Theo responds for you, and the words are harsh and desperate and make your whole body shudder. "So—ah—so are we—"

The realization that he can feel how close you are makes you clench—walls fluttering around the both of them as they fuck you tempered—it’s only a few more seconds before you're seeing stars so bright you hardly register the sounds of Enzo and Pansy reaching their climaxes next to you—the feeling of Pansy crashing her lips to yours as she cums and moans into your mouth propelling you further over the edge, into your own ecstasy—

And if there were a way to describe it, you're sure you'd think of it later, but right now it's all just fire and lightning—pleasure wracking your body until you're certain you're not going to come down for hours. You can't really hear anything—just the rushing of your own blood pulsing in your ears—but as it starts to subside, your vision returns and the sound follows—your lips still pressed to Pansy's as Theo moans underneath you, spilling his release into your cunt while Mattheo is still thrusting slow—

"Oh my god," you gasp as you break the kiss, all of you breathing so hard you're sure it's going to take a while for the oxygen levels in the room to return to normal. "Oh my god, oh my god—"

"Mmm," is about all Theo seems to be capable of currently.

It’s a rare thing for him to be rendered speechless—and you'd grin at the knowledge if it weren't for Mattheo still thrusting deep in your ass—leaving Theo trapped inside your cunt, his length still twitching and throbbing within your walls.

"Still with us, princess?" Mattheo's chuckle is somewhat strangled, and the hand he's not gripping your ass with finds your hair again, tugging your head back to expose your neck. "You aren't done already, are you?"

If he expects—or even wants—an actual answer to that question, he's going to be very disappointed because all you can manage is a strangled half-moan that's a decent representation to how you're feeling right now—

"I think she's lost her words," Mattheo murmurs—and then it's like he realizes something. "Maybe we should test that."

"Wha—"

It's not a proper word, but you don't even have the chance to fully get it out before his hand in your hair is pulling your head back even further and you realize that at some point Pansy had gotten off of Enzo and he's now kneeling on the couch in front of you with his cum covered cock aimed directly at your lips—

"Clean me off."

It's another demand you'd probably be inclined to respond to with a snarky reply if you were at all confident in your ability to do anything other than open your mouth and let him press the tip to your tongue—

"Good girl," Enzo says, and the praise is delivered with that voice that sounds like it came from some dark place inside him, the one that's only ever really appeared in the privacy of these walls and with this group of people. "Taste your bestfriend on me, hm? You like that?"

It's a question you'd probably deny a few months ago, but that's not the case anymore—and you know that the answer would be obvious regardless, given how you've just proven you're more than happy to share them with her. So instead you give an answer that's a better representation of how you feel without having to admit it, and it only comes out as a hum of agreement as you taste her.

"I know you do," Enzo replies, and he's got that same smirk he usually has when he's got the upper hand, the one that usually makes you feel at least mildly put out—now it just makes you shiver. "Little slut."

Theo, who's still trapped underneath you and still half hard inside you, moans at that.

"Mmmm-" yes, you want to say, but you can't and the noise you manage instead, around the taste of your bestfriend on your tongue, comes out more like a whimper that has absolutely no business doing as much to you as it does.

Mattheo growls with a deep thrust into your ass, and the whimper turns into a whine as Pansy moves closer to you.

"You look pretty," she murmurs, her mouth pressed against your hair as Enzo pushes his dick deeper down your throat. "You look so fucking pretty right now."

There's something about that, the way her voice caresses the words, that makes something warm rush through you, wrapping around the bliss and squeezing until you're almost overwhelmed again.

Your eyes water, as you gag. "Mmgh—"

"Mhmm," her lips move down your cheek, next to your mouth where Enzo is still slowly fucking it, and it's like the action is deliberate—a way to show, without saying it outright, just how wrecked you are. "And you say I'm insatiable."

That's fair, because right now you're fairly certain you've never wanted something to continue forever quite as much as you do this, regardless of the fact that you know it's not practical.

"Ah, fuck—" Mattheo grunts with a messy thrust. “Oh, fuck—"

He's not the most loquacious person in the world but even he is having a hard time getting words out—and you're not much better, with the only sounds you're capable of making completely indecipherable even for you, let alone the rest of the room.

"Fuck—" with a final curse, he spills his release deep into your ass and Theo groans from under you as you clench as a result. "—yes."

The feeling of him twitching and spilling inside you makes you moan around Enzo, and he groans too—one hand tangled in your hair and the other tangled in Pansy's to keep her close—

"Mm, yes," Enzo moans now, jerking his hips toward your face. "Feels good—so good—“

—and close is an apt word because they're all close to you, all surrounding you—even Blaise and Draco's exhausted presence are felt in the background.

"I'm pretty sure she's gonna be sore for days after this," Pansy says, the words whispered. "I hope you all know—"

"I think she'll be thanking us for that," Theo replies before anyone else can. "In a day or two at least."

Pansy giggles, a sound that's soft and familiar and comforting even in this current state of being surrounded and overwhelmed, and her cheek brushes up against yours as the two of you peer up at Enzo—

"You're probably right." She whispers.

Enzo grunts, pulling his cock from your mouth and offering it to Pansy who greedily takes it in her own—

"Selfless generosity," Theo murmurs from directly under your chin having just witnessed that, and his tone suggests he's got his signature smirk in place. "How noble of us."

"Very selfless," Blaise says, from somewhere in the room again—and even as you're lost in pleasure you know that statement borders on sarcastic. "Absolutely nothing in it for any of you."

"Nothing at all," Theo replies, the same amount of sarcasm in his voice as Blaise's. "It's all self-sacrifice."

"Mm," Mattheo murmurs against your shoulder, before he pushes himself off you and finally pulls out. "Not even a shred of personal satisfaction."

You're still collapsed on top of Theo, as boneless as a human being can be, and a quiet whine escapes your lips at the loss before you can stop it.

"See," Theo murmurs, a hand coming up to run through your hair. "We've practically made a martyr of ourselves here. Selflessness at its finest."

"So humble," Blaise says, and you swear you hear the eyeroll that's almost certainly included. "I think this calls for medals and a parade through the streets. A holiday, maybe. Selfless Slytherin Day."

Enzo huffs—you can tell he's considering telling Blaise to shut up before he ruins his orgasm but as Pansy drags her tongue along the underside of his shaft, he seems to forget about it—

"Absolutely," Mattheo says—and if you had the strength to lift your head and look at him there'd likely be a smug smirk on his face. "I'd volunteer to be parade marshall, personally."

Enzo pulls out of Pansy's mouth with a gasp—and it's all but two seconds before he sprays sticky jets of cum all over your face and hers, his head tipping back as he does—

"I'm sure you would," Blaise says dryly, his voice coming from closer now than before. "I'm sure you would also volunteer to accept the medal, and then offer a speech about how humble you are."

"Mhm,” Mattheo sounds unbothered. You know he is. "Obviously. Someone's got to make sure the truth is told."

Pansy giggles against your face, then, before her tongue drags across your cheek, collecting some of Enzo's release. "Well, it's no good if you all are going to keep doing a poor job at the selflessness part.”

"I think we're well past the point of pretending we're doing this selflessly," Theo mutters dryly as he presses a kiss to your shoulder. "If we were capable of that level of pretending, we'd all be in Ravenclaw."

Your hands find Pansy's hair, holding her close to you as you lick Enzo's cum off her chin and jaw.

"You're welcome to switch houses if you'd like," Blaise responds dryly. "Some of us were sorted to our houses for reasons other than self-satisfaction—"

"Oh, shove it, Zabini," Enzo says as his breath comes back. "You're acting like a bloody dad."

Blaise opens his mouth, presumably to offer some kind of sharp retort, but before they have a chance, Pansy cuts in. "If you're all quite finished with the pissing contest—“

"We've been done for minutes," Theo replies quickly, hand now stroking through your hair. "Now we're just bickering for the sake of it, as usual."

"Which means we've got at least another half an hour to go," Blaise mutters—before apparently giving up all attempt at sounding cool and collected and flopping down on the nearest open section of sofa.

"At least," Mattheo agrees. "Maybe an hour, if we're lucky."

Next to you, Enzo grunts out a laugh as he starts trying to fix himself back to modesty. "Lucky is one word for it—"

"I think lucky is an excellent term for the current state of things," Theo replies, his voice all smooth and silky and perfectly at fucking ease. "In fact, I'd be hard pressed to think of anything more lucky than getting to experience this."

Everyone is in agreement, at that.

[i2rizz]

𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

Synopsis-Dante's only goal tonight: wreck you so thoroughly you'll never even look at another man again.

And judging by the broken bed, the shattered floor, and the bruises on your hips? Mission accomplished.

(NSFW / MDNI / Warnings: filthy smut, unprotected sex, rough sex, jealousy, possessiveness, teasing, manhandling, breeding kink, overstimulation, hair-pulling, mouth-fucking, marking, degradation + praise, messy sloppy drunk energy, Dante being a rabid man)

(A little thank you gift for 400 followers so sit yall fine asses down and grab water because what I’m about to deliver is gonna have you needing to pace around your room for 10 minutes)

You barely made it through the front door.

The second it slammed shut behind you, Dante had you caged against it—hot, heavy, feral.

"You fuckin' tease" he growled against your mouth, voice wrecked, hands already hiking your tiny, skin-tight club dress up your thighs. "Flirtin' with every bastard in that club—shakin' that ass like you wanted me to fuckin' lose it, huh?"

You gasped, breathless, clawing at his leather jacket to yank him closer.

You could still taste the liquor on his tongue, still feel the pounding bass of the club vibrating through your bones.

He ripped the jacket off and tossed it somewhere without looking.

Lifted you clean off the ground like you weighed nothing, throwing you over his shoulder with a rough smack to your ass that made you shriek and giggle.

"You think it's funny?"

"Wait till I show you how funny it is when you can't fuckin' walk tomorrow"

He stalked through your apartment like a man possessed, kicking open your bedroom door of off its hinges, tossing you onto the mattress like a ragdoll.

You barely had time to scramble up before he was on you again—grabbing your ankles, dragging you down the bed, manhandling you until you were flat, pinned, helpless.

"Stay fuckin' still" Dante rasped, yanking your dress up and over your head, leaving you in nothing but a flimsy pair of panties.

His blue eyes burned.

Dark. Starved. Dangerous.

"You wore this tiny little shit to the club?" he hissed, dragging two fingers roughly up your slit, already soaked through the lace. "You wanted attention that bad, huh? Wanted everyone seein' what's MINE?"

You whimpered, grinding helplessly into his hand.

"Yeah, you fuckin' did"

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Gonna make damn sure you remember exactly who you belong to"

He hooked his fingers in your panties and ripped them clean off—no ceremony, no patience.

Before you could even catch your breath, he was on you—mouth messy, sloppy, devouring your pussy like he hadn't eaten in weeks.

You screamed.

Fist tangled in his hair, thighs clamping around his head.

He groaned into you, like he was savoring every filthy sound you made, grinding his tongue against your clit with reckless, brutal focus.

When you came, it was violent.

Tearing sobs from your throat, soaking his mouth, your whole body twitching under his iron grip.

Dante didn’t even give you a second to recover.

Wiped his mouth with the back of his hand—smirking, cocky—and shoved you further up the bed.

"Face down, ass up, princess"

You scrambled to obey, still dizzy from the orgasm, and he was already pulling his cock free—thick, heavy, dripping precum.

He didn’t prep you.

Didn't warn you.

Just lined up and shoved his way in one brutal thrust, punching the breath from your lungs.

You clawed at the sheets, sobbing into the mattress, as he started pounding into you with zero mercy.

The bedframe slammed into the wall with every vicious thrust, the whole apartment shaking.

"Fuckin' tight little hole, squeezin' me so fuckin' good," Dante growled, spanking your ass hard enough to leave a handprint. "Can't believe you were showin' this perfect pussy off at the club—gonna have to fuck the attitude outta you, huh?"

You screamed into the sheets as he bent over you, biting and marking your shoulder, pounding you so hard the bed legs cracked against the floor.

It wasn't enough for him.

He flipped you over mid-thrust, manhandling you into a full mating press—legs over his shoulders, your ankles pinned near your ears, leaving you fully exposed and helpless as he rutted into you.

"Look at you" he growled, one hand wrapping around your throat, squeezing lightly as he fucked you deeper, harder, faster. "Pretty little slut. Perfect fuckin' hole. Gonna pump you so full you won't know where you end and I begin"

You were crying now.

Tears streaming down your cheeks from the intensity, the overwhelming stretch and heat and pleasure.

"That's it" Dante purred, licking the tears off your face. "C'mon, princess. Cry for me. Show me how bad you need it"

You shattered again, convulsing around him, screaming so loud your neighbors probably called the cops.

Dante snarled, fucking you through it, never slowing down—until you felt the brutal pulse of him cumming deep inside you, filling you to the brim, thick, hot, endless.

He collapsed on top of you, still sheathed deep, grinding lazily into your oversensitive cunt to milk every drop inside.

"Not done" he rasped, voice wrecked. "Gonna fill you up again. Gonna keep fuckin' you till you're so fuckin' full it leaks down your thighs"

You whimpered, barely able to think.

And he smirked—slow, wicked, dark.

"You asked for it, sweetheart"

"Now you're gonna take all of it"

And then he started moving again.

No mercy.

No escape.

Just Dante,

and you,

and the kind of sin that no amount of praying could ever erase.

[murdrdocs]

come into my bedroom

description. you and JOAQUÍN TORRES take a week long vacation to the beach together. just a week on the coast, spending time in each other's bubble, without falling for each other ... probably. visuals

includes. coworkers to friends to lovers, SMUT 18+ MDNI, reader has been kept as ambiguous as possible (hair type, skin color, body type, place of birth, etc), reader is able to tan, the location is ambiguous, slight spoilers for brave new world, takes place after bnw, protected p n v sex, oral (f receiving), soft dom! joaquín, reader is called "baby" a couple of times

wc. 12.3k+

a/n: title from champagne coast by blood orange. i tried to keep where they vacationed as ambiguous as possible, but it's definitely at least a little bit obvious. for my bsf who recently got back from miami. thanks to @luckypunklemonade for beta reading :D

You’re drunk. 

No, you’re not drunk. You’re too drunk, inching towards shitfaced. You’re still here, at least here enough to walk beside Joaquín down the street towards your hotel, but you’re not really here. You know you’re not exactly walking in a straight line, and you know where you’re heading, but you don’t know how long you’ve been walking. You could’ve left the club five minutes or 50 minutes ago. 

You weren’t going to get this drunk. Honest. You and Joaquín were just going to go out, have a few drinks, and go back to your separate rooms. 

But the music was good, and the drinks were good, and the people were good, and suddenly you and Joaquín are drunk and navigating your way down the street. Well, he’s navigating your way. You’re just trying to keep up with his long strides. 

He walks a little in front of you the entire time, slightly more rigid, and a little less drunk than you are. You’ll probably be at his level in another half hour, that is if you get something in your stomach by then. Every so often, he looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still there. You thought about hooking a hand around his elbow to keep him close, but the thought entered your mind and left before you could act on it. 

There’s not much small talk happening, but you don’t mind it that way. You’re focused on making your feet pick up and land one (mostly) in front of the other. Actually, you’re focused on walking and finding an open food spot on the way. 

One part is going fine, the walking part, but you’re still blearily searching for something to eat. You pass bars and closed businesses, restaurants that require reservations weeks in advance, one of them you think you and Joaquín actually have a table at later this week, but nothing quick and greasy. Which is exactly what you need before calling it a night. 

Joaquín calls your name and you hum. 

“You up for stopping in right here?” He points to the side and you look around his wide shoulders to find your saving grace. It’s like he read your mind, or maybe you’d been audible harping on about wanting something to eat the entire time. Right now, either seems plausible. 

Either way, you nod and let Joaquín hold the door open for you. 

You and Joaquín end up sitting across from each other at a tiny outdoor metal table. With the wind blowing against your skin as you’re sipping freezing cold water from a to-go cup, you finally realize how hot you’ve been this entire time. You lift your skirt up a bit to press your thigh against the cool metal and a sigh pushes out front your lips. Your eyes fall shut as you just sit in the moment. 

“You still drunk?” Joaquín speaks from across the table. 

You open your eyes and destroy your brief peace to glare at him as you wrap your lips around your straw. “What do you think?” you ask him only when the cool liquid has slid down your throat. 

He laughs. “First night here and you’ve already gotten shitfaced.” He shakes his head as if he’s ashamed of you, but the playful glint in his eyes keeps you at ease. 

“It’s your fault!” you accuse. “You’re the one who made friends with that couple. They kept buying us drinks.” 

Joaquín throws his hands out to the side in a surrender. “I’m not going to say no to free drinks. Don’t blame me!”

He’s right. Even if he wasn’t, you aren’t in the arguing mood anymore. You would rather finish the greasy taco sitting limp in your hands. And you do.  

You’re not being very attractive about it, though, you can tell from the way the juice slides down your fingers and around your mouth, but that’s not really the point to all of this. 

Besides, you and Joaquín are just coworkers and friends. Just two coworkers/friends on vacation together. Sitting across from each other in front of a taco spot, fighting for sobriety as you occasionally lock eyes between large bites. There’s no reason for you to be attractively drunk eating when you’re only with your coworker/friend. 

You finish the last bite, wipe around your mouth with a crumpled napkin and throw it onto your empty tray, looking up to find Joaquín already looking at you. He has this look on his face, nothing different from the one he usually wears—soft eyes and a softer smile—but it feels different this time. Maybe it’s the city lighting and your drunkenness that’s skewing the meaning. You’re going to blame both factors for the flutter in your heart, too.

Neither of you say anything for a moment and in that moment, a thought flashes across your mind. It’s quick and fleeting, but still strong enough to evoke a reaction. Just a thought of you leaning over this small table and pressing your lips to Joaquín’s. And the thought was truly fleeting, but you bring it back and sit in it to imagine how he would reciprocate with his hands on your lower back, big palms resting on the strip of skin between your top and skirt, and he would taste like lime and alcohol and when you pulled away he would have a look almost identical to this one on his face. 

Joaquín’s eyebrows push together, skewing the soft look he wore before and knocking you out of your drunken trance. 

“What’s that look?” he asks. 

You shrug, feigning nonchalance. “What look?”

His gaze lingers for a moment, but then he licks his lips and cleans up his area. “You think you’re sober enough to walk back now?” 

You scoff and attempt to make a point by quickly standing to your feet. When you wobble, it’s because your shoe didn’t land right on the concrete. Honest!

You have a crush on Joaquín. 

You don’t know why you’re realizing it here and now—laying in a hotel bed on vacation first thing in the morning. You don’t even know how long this crush has been here, but you know for sure you have a crush on Joaquín Torres, your partner/coworker/friend. 

You thought your little image from last night was fleeting, nothing but a drunken thought that you let yourself imagine for less than a minute, but it proved to be way more than that because when you got back to your room, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

As you took your makeup off, you thought about Joaquín waiting in your room for you to finish, snuggled under the blankets and scrolling through the channels on the TV until you came out of the bathroom in his shirt. As you climbed in the shower you imagined him standing at the sink brushing his teeth and humming that song he’s always singing but you never ask the name of. As you finally climbed into bed and clicked the lights off, you imagined fighting for covers with him and sleepily talking about your plans for the next day. 

It was so domestic and loving and absolutely sickening and unexpected. 

Well, maybe you should have expected it. At least a little. 

Joaquín is kind of the perfect guy. Everyone in your life made sure you were aware of it. He was funny, attractive, hard working, and easy to get along with. Even his flaws—his incessant nature and occasional annoyance for one—was quickly reworked as lovable in your head. 

You struggled with falling asleep for at least a half hour last night, and as soon as you knocked out, you were out. You might not have remembered your dreams but you knew deep in your mind and body that he was there. 

Just as he is here now, standing in front of you early  in the morning, wearing a bright smile and an athletic set. 

“No,” you sternly shut him down before he can even say anything. 

Joaquín’s jaw drops and he wears a mixture of shock and humor. “C’mon, you didn’t even let me say anything.”

“I know what you’re gonna say, Torres. I’m not going to some ‘sick workout class’ when we’re supposed to be on vacation.” 

“Oh, so we’re on last name basis again?” He crosses his arms over his chests and widens his stance. “I thought we moved past that.” 

“If you ask me to come with you then we’re back to last name basis, yeah.” 

He pouts and it’s so stupidly cute that you want to slam the door in his face. “Don’t let the hangover speak for you. I know you secretly wanna come workout with me.” 

You squint at him accusingly, leaning into the doorframe. “‘m not hungover.” 

“Uh-huh. How’s the headache?” He’s obviously not buying your shit.

“I don’t have a headache.” Bullshit and you both know it. 

“How’d you sleep?” He asks you instead, this time lacking any suspense. For a moment, he seems like he’s actually wondering how you slept. 

“Like a baby.”

“Then that means you should be energized enough to go for a workout. It won’t be bad. It’s only an hour.” 

You shake your head. “That’s an hour that I could be sleeping.” 

“And basically waste the whole day away? That doesn’t sound like the partner I know and love.”

You don’t let your mind linger on that word, especially when you know he doesn’t mean it like that. But still, knowing that Joaquín has some sort of love for you makes your chest feel all airy and glittery. 

“Yeah because that partner isn’t here right now. We’re on vacation.” 

Joaquín doesn’t respond. Not verbally at least. Instead, he tilts his head and fully pouts, lips pushed out and eyes big. He’s not backing down and truthfully, it might be better for you just to say yes and halfass the entire session. 

Finally, he reasons with you. “I’ll buy you a smoothie afterwards. Whatever overpriced shit you want. Fair?” 

Fair enough. 

Compared to what you’re used to, the workout is quick, but it’s certainly not painless. The instructor, some woman with much more energy than you’re willing to exert on vacation, seemed to find pleasure in kicking your asses. For a brief moment there when you were catching your breath and wiping your forehead on a towel, you wondered if she could be some big and bad super villain hiding in plain sight. That would explain the inhuman stamina, and the almost eerie cheery personality, but other than that your theory didn’t make much sense. And even if it did, you were on vacation. Now wasn’t the time to seek out trouble that wasn’t presenting itself. 

The only thing that pushed you through the entire thing was looking over at Joaquín, one because of how attractive he looked with sweat glistening along his tanned skin, and two because you refused to let him show you up, even if the workout was his idea. 

You will admit, though, that every time he lifted his shirt to wipe his forehead, your knees did feel just a little weaker and your last rep in a set was not nearly as strong as it could’ve been when you heard him grunting beside you. 

You couldn’t understand it. You and Joaquín workout together all the time. You train together, sometimes with Isaiah and Sam, sometimes with friends of friends, sometimes with just each other. You’re used to seeing him sweat, you’re used to hearing his grunts and breaths, you’re used to all of it. But something about all of this happening now is making you lose your mind. 

As soon as the class ended, relief entered your entire body. 

The relief certainly didn’t last for long, though. 

Since you did what Joaquín wanted to do that morning, he did what you wanted to do right after. Before you could even really think about it, you happily suggested sunbathing on the beach until you were too hot or hungry to continue, whichever came first. 

It wasn’t until Joaquín slyly grinned and sang your name that you realized what you signed up for. 

“You tryna see me shirtless?” he teased at the time. And you rolled your eyes and called him a freak and continued walking down the hall towards your rooms, but as soon as you were behind the closed door you were digging into your suitcase to find the cutest swimsuit you brought. 

Not that you were trying to impress Joaquín or anything. 

As soon as your bare toes are sinking into warm sand, you slowly feel yourself relax. Slowly. 

Laying on your back in a swimsuit that was a nice mix between cute and attractive, your eyes closed, your ears full of a playlist you made just for this occasion, the sun radiating down on your skin. It’s easy to forget everything laying just like that. The breeze cools your skin as soon as you get too warm, the sun heats you back up as soon as you get too cold. Absolutely nothing to worry about except how long you’ve been laying on one side and when you should flip over. 

Absolutely no stressors. 

Until Joaquín speaks. 

“Do me a favor and get my back?” 

You peek an eye open and lift your sunglasses up to see Joaquín standing next to you, holding out a bottle of sunscreen. 

You don’t mean to hesitate, but you still do. It takes a moment to process his question, and it takes another moment to find an answer, even though the clear one is yes. If he wasn’t standing there without a shirt, wearing forest green trunks that hung low on his hips, and his skin wasn’t glistening in the daylight, it wouldn’t have taken nearly half the time to help him out. 

“What would you do without me?” You try not to let your voice falter while you watch him massage sunscreen onto his chest, but you’re sure the little dip at the end of your sentence was noticeable. 

Joaquín just tilts his head and tosses the bottle into your lap.  

It’s not awkward. At least you don’t think it’s awkward. You rub the sunscreen on Joaquín’s skin as quickly as possible, trying to ignore the sturdiness of his muscles beneath your hand. You know how fit he is, it’s impossible for you not to know since you’ve been working with him for a while now. But knowing and knowing are two different things. 

Seeing is not the same as feeling. 

Feeling his muscles as you work them beneath your fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips, grazing your hand lightly over the scars littering his skin, only lingering for a second on the life altering scar that trails down from the side of his neck to his shoulder. You try not to touch it too much. He hasn’t talked to you much about the accident, not since you visited the hospital with high quality food instead of flowers for him. Even then, he joked around it, even if you saw sorrow in his eyes like you’d never seen Joaquín wear before. 

You rubbed the sunscreen down his back and finished above the waistband of his trunks. Not even a second later did he look over his shoulder and down at you through a squint. “Now let me do you,” he urged without leaving much room for argument. 

Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t make room. 

You shook your head. “‘m okay, I already got it.” 

Joaquín turns around to face you completely. He laughs through a quick puff of air, his lips pulled up at the corners. “Barely. I saw you struggling over there. C’mon, let me top it off for you.” 

His hands take the sunscreen bottle from you, but he doesn’t put any in his palm. Not yet. For now, he stares at you, eyebrows lifted, waiting for you to give him the final answer. 

You turn around, moving whatever needs to be moved to give him basically full reign over your back. 

The first touch makes you jump, even if you were expecting it. You hear him quietly apologize under his breath, and you quietly brush it off, but you aren’t sure if your response was heard or if it was carried off with the wind. 

He continues in silence. 

You’ve had Joaquín’s hands on you before. A hand clasped in yours to pull you up, a touch fixing your posture when he was showing you a new trick Isaiah taught him before, a finger jabbed into your side when he walked past you. But again, this is much different. 

Having Joaquín’s bare hands on your bare back makes you tense up, and you hope he doesn’t notice it. He rubs with a lot more attention to detail than you did; he reaches beneath the straps of your top with curt permission, and even asks if he can get the backs of your arms too. 

By the time he finishes, you’ve started to relax just a bit, to the point where the expected disappearance of his hand on your back feels unwanted. Joaquín’s hands are big and soothing, you could do with them on your skin for the rest of your life. 

Of course, you don’t tell him that. Not just because it would be completely inappropriate, but because he would never let you live it down. He would go the lengths to change his phone contact to Joaquín “best hands there ever were” Torres. 

Which is just a step below Joaquín “best co-worker there ever was” Torres. 

Somehow, you manage to make it through the rest of the beach day without much trouble. You tan until you don’t think you could tan anymore. Joaquín lays next to you most of the time, besides when he began to feel fidgety and he ran to grab both of you drinks, and pre-cut fruit for you, as an excuse to stretch his legs. You used the few minutes of solitude to text your group chat about the agony you accidentally put yourself into. Agony that was only made worse by Joaquín coming back with two drinks in one hand, fruit still in its rind in the other, and his newly tanned skin glistening from sweat in the sunlight. 

Shortly after, you had to leave and take a cold shower to get your head on straight. 

You think you’re doing pretty good at ignoring your feelings. You know you have a crush on him, but acting on it would change nearly too much, and a lot in your lives—his especially—has already changed. It’s not a leap you think you’re ready to make yet, so you’ve been ignoring your feelings. 

Over the course of the past couple of days, you and Joaquín have been spending your time doing every relaxing thing you could think of. Decompressing at that same club from the first night, but leaving as soon as the crowd proved to be very different from before—more rowdy for the hell of it and less generous in general. Eating at trendy, overrated lunch spots, or underrated hole-in-the-wall dinner spots. Spending a little too much money on new clothes but enabling each other anyway, because the shirt might look similar to another one that you already have but that shirt back home wasn’t that shirt there in your hands, so you needed it. 

There were just two nights left and then you would have to pack all your stuff, somehow fit in more new clothes than you anticipated, and return to the real world. One that entailed mission debriefs and learning how to work new tech. The only thing you were looking forward to about the real world was Sam, since he happened to be a natural barrier between you and Joaquín. It’ll be hard to focus on how badly you wanted to be underneath the Falcon whenever Captain America was in the vicinity providing tasks that required your full attention. 

But that is days away. For now, you’re going to try and enjoy the remainder of your all too quick vacation as much as possible. Even though you’re becoming more and more tense as you go on, a tension that your fingers beneath your panties hasn’t been able to fix yet. 

You didn’t think your behavior was noticeable, but Joaquín notices more than you thought. 

The two of you are walking side by side down the boardwalk. You’ve been fairly silent throughout, but not for any particular reason. Silence made sense to you, there wasn’t much to talk about right now. 

Apparently, Joaquín felt different. 

“What’s up with you?”

You furrow your eyebrows, quickly trying to figure out if you did something wrong between the walk from your hotel to the walk at the start of the boardwalk. Coming up short, you ask for clarification. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean why’re you so tense? Isn’t this relaxing for you?”

Yeah, this is relaxing for you. Walking side by side, letting the beach breeze blow your dress in the wind. Showered, fed, at the end of your vacation, this moment you exist in is like heaven. It’s a little too much like heaven, a perfect plane where the guy you’ve been crushing on is wearing a button up with the first two buttons undone so you can see the fresh tan he has and the gold glint of the chain he wears instead of his dog tags. 

It’s hard to relax when right beside you is someone you’ve wanted so badly, and he looks like everything you’ve ever wanted. 

“I’m not tense,” you finally respond. Although it’s a lie. 

“You so are,” Joaquín counters, “let me show you what you look like walking around here.” He takes a few quick strides ahead of you, and then pulls his shoulders up to his ears, straightens his spine, and walks with a little too much purpose. He looks odd and menacing. And definitely not like you. 

You tell him as such. 

He turns around to face you, grinning and walking backwards. “Okay I did take some creative liberties there, but you do look tense.” He turns back around and slows until he returns to a stride right beside you again. “What’s wrong? Do you wanna do something else?”

You shake your head. “No. This is fine. I like doing this.” 

Joaquín takes a moment and you see him look down at you from the corner of your eye. “Then what’s up? Anything you wanna get off your chest?” 

God, you should just tell him the truth. Well, not the full truth. 

Joaquín is chill personified. If you told him that you’re wound up sexually, he would likely make a joke about it, then brush it off and avoid asking you about it again. Friend to friend, you could just let off some steam—verbally!, although the other option is much more preferable—and then hopefully feel better. 

But just imagining yourself saying those words makes you tense even more and you have nothing to do but shake the thought out of your mind completely. 

“No. ‘m okay. I was just … thinking. But not anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything for a second and you don’t know if he believes your lie. But he moves past it. He points to an ice cream shop to your right, and you swerve for the window. 

You and Joaquín end up sitting side by side on the beach, willingly letting sand press into your nice clothes but neither of you care much. You have a dinner reservation soon, and you’ve just been killing time—and also your appetite, but you and Joaquín both swore to eat dinner. Even if you’re devouring ice cream cones. Truthfully, this is a perfect way to end your night, sitting by your partner's side, letting the world exist around you both. 

The breeze blows against your skin. You and Joaquín sit with your bare toes digging into the sand, shoes having been discarded to the side, your shoulders close enough to brush against the other if either of you move. You’re looking off at the ocean, watching people enjoy the evening air around you both as you sit in a moment of stillness. There’s paragliders, a few jet skis, some boats, and a large cruise ship sailing into the port. 

Joaquín points off at the ship with the hand not holding his waffle cone.

“We should cruise for our next vacation.”

You turn to face him, tilting your head to the side. “Our next vacation?”

Joaquín nods. “Yeah. We should make this a regular thing. You know we work well together.” 

That you do. You grin and knock your shoulder into his.  “Let’s hope Sam doesn’t start feeling left out.”

Joaquín laughs with a quick exhale through his nose. “He’s definitely having the time of his life back home.” 

You’re unable to stop yourself from grinning as you imagine it—Sam working back home, likely enjoying the rare lull in the terror that the three of you have been fighting and will continue fighting. “He’s probably blasting Marvin Gaye over the speakers in the office.” 

This gets a real laugh from Joaquín, likely because he, too, can see it perfectly. 

Your laughter dies down and for a few moments, you and Joaquín sit in comfortable silence. 

Then, “You been having fun?” 

You hum. “Yeah. It’s nice not having to deal with—” you gesture vaguely in the air and Joaquín nods beside you. “Especially after everything.” You don’t say it exactly, but you know Joaquín still understands you. He knows you’re talking about his accident. 

You weren’t even the one in danger, having stayed grounded on the ship, but the horrors still settle deep in your heart some nights. Things are repaired, or currently being repaired in the case of D.C, but everything still feels so fragile to you sometimes. 

Which is why you’re so glad to be here with him at your side, reminding you that he’s okay. Everything’s okay. 

Joaquín takes a breath as if he’s about to speak. You turn to look at him. He’s staring off at the sunset, his face mostly stoic except for a slight twitch in his eyes, a flare of his nostrils, and his jaw clenching. “For a moment there when I was falling out of the sky, and when I could barely move my body on my own in the hospital I was worried that I wouldn’t get the chance to see places like this again. To … you know…” he hesitates and you’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have to keep going if he doesn’t want to. You and Joaquín have avoided talking about the day his heart stopped, and you don’t have to start now. But then he inhales through his teeth and continues. “To see home.” 

Your breath hitches and your eyes sting. Without thinking too much about it, you scoot closer into Joaquín’s side, tilting your head and resting it on his shoulder. Immediately upon contact, Joaquín wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you fully into his side. 

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Joaquín.” 

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” he says your name at the end, echoing you but somehow sounding more earnest. More meaningful. 

He places a kiss on the top of your head and in that moment you decide you could stay here just like this for the rest of your life. It all settles in your body at one time, the realization that you want Joaquín, you’ve known that for a while, but you want more than his body. 

You want Joaquín Torres in his entirety. 

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about?” he continues, “Is that why you’ve been tense? Because I promise I’m okay. It was scary for a bit but my heart’s fine and I feel fine physically—”

“No. It’s not that, Joaquín. I promise I was just a little tense but I’m good now, too.”

He nods once. “Okay.” He pulls his phone out and checks the time. He doesn’t say anything for a while as if he doesn’t want to disrupt the energy, but he speaks eventually. “If we wanna make our reservation we gotta leave now.” 

He stands to his feet and puts a hand out for you to grab. You take a moment to look at the sun setting and to finish the rest of your ice cream in one bite, then you take another moment to look at him. With resolution, you place your hand in Joaquín’s and let him pull you to your feet. 

Yeah, ignoring your feelings isn’t working anymore. 

It’s not like you’re exactly able to ignore how bad you want Joaquín when you’re at dinner with him, sitting in such an intimate setting—sat at a small table tucked in the corner of the restaurant next to a window looking out on the street, his tan skin lit by candlelight and ambient low lighting around the both of you. 

Having just come from the beach, the two of you are still wearing the same outfits (now without as many grains of sand as possible), meaning you have an even better view of Joaquín’s chest and the chain sitting right below his collarbones. He looks so nice and put together—his curls out more than you’ve ever seen them before, his face a little unshaven and adding an older look to him. 

God, he’s so pretty, it’s impossible for you not to think so. Not when you’re faced with him like this. 

Joaquín’s looking at the menu, acting like he didn’t look at it on his phone two hours ago. You’re holding the menu open, acting like you’re still deciding between two options, when really you’re just trying to decide if you should make a move or not. 

When Joaquín looks up, you quickly look down, furrowing your eyebrows and pouting as you stare at words that aren’t processing.  

Joaquín calls your name and you hum without lifting your eyes. When he doesn’t say anything immediately, you glance up. Not only is he already looking at you, but he’s looking at you with a certain look in his eyes. Infatuation, admiration, something else that you don’t wanna name, for it feels like too much of a jump.

“What?” you ask, a shy grin splitting your face open as your skin starts to warm. 

Joaquín shrugs like he’s going to say the most casual thing ever. Instead, he tells you, “Nothing. I just wanted to tell you how pretty you look.”

Oh my godddd. 

What are you supposed to say to that? Everything thus far on this vacation has been widely platonic, and anything crossing that barrier has been nothing but a hopeful figment of your imagination. But his words, paired with the way they were delivered, feels like a step towards a future you want to live in. 

But maybe you’re overthinking it. Joaquín is honest and earnest when he wants to be and maybe now is one of those moments. 

You wrap your hand around your glass of ice water and bring it to your lips, pausing just long enough to respond. “What is it? The tan?”

Joaquín nods but that look in his eyes is still there. Chocolate brown dances across your figure before settling back on your own eyes. “Yeah … among other things. The tan and the color of your dress,” a bright colored fabric that hung loosely over your body and dipped around your back, you chose it especially because you knew it would look good on your skin, “and just you.” 

You gulp down water, trying to contain yourself. 

“Thanks, Joaquín,” you finally respond, trying to remain as casual as possible. “You look good, too.” 

Joaquín grins and you can see the man you’re used to coming back to himself. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and dusts off invisible particles. “I clean up well don’t I?”

You halfheartedly roll your eyes and return back to the menu. That interaction has already been catalogued for you to hyper analyze in the shower later. 

You thought that interaction was mind boggling, but the one you find yourself in later is ten times worse. 

You’ve both steadily worked through your plates, giggling and laughing about any and everything you could think of. The waiter mentioned the option of drinks at one point, and you looked to Joaquín for his reaction, wanting to see if that’s how the night was going to go. Not exactly as drunk as you were the first night, but at least a little buzz. When Joaquín politely shook his head, you did the same, and continued to sip your water instead. 

You do, however, decide to split two desserts. 

“Can I say something?” Joaquín speaks whenever he scrapes his fork across the decadent chocolate dessert sitting in the center of the table. 

You hum, grabbing a forkful of the fresher, citrus dessert instead. “Depends. How stupid is it gonna be?”

“Um … let me say it and then we can decide.”

You sit back in your seat, thereby giving him the floor. 

He takes his time chewing and swallowing before he goes to respond. “I’m shocked that we’ve been together every day and night of this trip.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What d’you mean?”

“Like we haven’t … been with other people.”

His words shock you. “Is that what you think of me, Joaquín?” 

You don’t feel upset, or particularly offended. You’re just a little confused on why Joaquín has been thinking about your sex life while the two of you have been on vacation together. Sure, you’ve been thinking of the same thing, but his sex life hasn’t exactly crossed your mind. Besides whenever you pictured the two of your sex lives merging into one. 

But now that he’s presented the idea, you, too, are shocked that things have been contained to just the two of you this entire week. It’s not that you expected Joaquín to sleep around, you actually didn’t know what to expect when it came to his dating life. You did know that Joaquín was attractive and people other than yourself thought so, and he obviously knew it as well, but it’s unexpected that you didn’t see him intentionally ogling at least one other person on your nights out. 

You don’t know why he would think the same of you, though. 

“No!” he’s quick to defend himself, “But I wouldn’t judge you if that’s how you wanted to spend your vacation. I mean I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You’re digging yourself further and further into a hole, Torres.” 

He laughs. “Yeah, I can tell.”

A moment goes by and you sip your water. The air here feels open, but certainly not casual. You feel like you can tell the truth in this intimate atmosphere, and your words would hold intentional weight. 

You take the jump. “I didn’t wanna be with anyone else. I liked being with you.”

Joaquín looks surprised. “Really? So you preferred beach trips and coffee shops and working out over a hot hookup?”

You shrug. “I haven’t been interested in hooking up with anyone else.” 

His eyebrows lift in the center. “Anyone else?”

Fuck. 

It seems you have joined Joaquín in that hole, but you don’t mind being here. It’s about time you did something, right? You don’t bother responding, at least not verbally. Instead, you just look at Joaquín over the rim of your glass, sincerely hoping that he’s starting to understand. 

Before any more progress can be made the waiter comes back with the check and you’re already reaching into your bag for your wallet, verbally chastising Joaquín before he can even reach for the bill. 

Quiet returns to you both during the walk back to your hotel. It feels natural this time, likely because you’re not speaking, but it isn’t silent. Cars against asphalt as they drive down the street beside you, music spilling out of establishments that line the way, the automated voice of the pedestrian crossing pole when Joaquín presses the button for the both of you. There’s not anything being said, but there doesn’t need to be; much is being communicated through the energy radiating off of your body. 

Walking closer to each other than you had ever before, elbows grazing, a lightness to your bodies even if you both indulged a little too much over dinner. Everything just feels so right, even if there’s still an emptiness inside of you. Even if you leave this trip without getting laid, you’ll still feel fulfilled because you and your partner are closer than you’ve ever been before. Though, after existing in this bubble with only him, it’s going to be hard to return to your normal life and let other people in. 

A car honks and skirts to a stop. Before you can even realize what just happened, Joaquín’s already throwing an arm over the front of your torso, his face turned to the car that almost (wrongfully) hit the two of you. He yells something at them and blindly grabs your hand, pulling you in front of him and pushing you to the sidewalk and out of the street. 

He mutters something under his breath, but you don’t hear it. “You good?” he asks at full volume. He stands next to you but still holds onto your hand. 

“Yeah. We’ve been through worse than almost getting floored by a Benz, right?”

He laughs and continues leading the way back to the hotel. 

Your hand stays in his the entire time.

You and Joaquín make it all the way inside of the hotel with your hands still clasped together. They don’t part until an unattended child runs between your bodies, forcing you to separate. 

You end up standing in front of the elevator with the up button pushed. It dings every few seconds, an indicator of its steady descent, but it makes a few stops along the way. While you wait, you lean your shoulder into the wall next to it, crossing your arms over your chest and your legs at the ankle as you look at Joaquín standing across from you. 

He speaks first. “You wanna go out again tonight?  End the week with a bang?”

You shake your head. Your eyes are big, your lips are pulled into a soft smile, your entire expression is soft. Fuck hiding it, you’re done pretending. 

“Nah. I’d rather stay in tonight.”

Joaquín nods and tucks his hands in his front pockets. “Alright. Together or separate?”

“Together.”

His eyebrows lift as if he’s shocked, but there’s a little glint in his eyes. You think he’s starting to catch on. 

“Okay,” he drags the last syllable out and shifts his stance. He clears his throat before he speaks again. “What d’you wanna do?”

The elevator door opens and you and Joaquín stand out of the way to let people come out. As soon as everyone has cleared out, the two of you enter the elevator alone and you push the button to shut the door before anyone else can come around the corner. With the doors closing you turn to face Joaquín to see him already looking at you. 

You smile up at him and he smiles down at you. 

You take a step closer to him and he takes a step closer to you. 

You reach a hand out to his face, hesitating, and then he nods just before he reaches a hand out and places it on your waist. 

And then finally, your lips press against his. 

The first kiss is tentative. It’s testing. Your lips press together, you stay like that for a moment, and then you pull away. The two of you stare at each other, Joaquín’s expression as soft and docile as it always is. You think you’re mirroring him in this moment. 

Then, without any words exchanged, you both move towards each other again. Your heads are tilted and without much trouble at all, your faces slot together nearly perfectly. This kiss is more exploratory. It’s open mouthed, teetering towards a messiness that you’re sure you’ll both fully succumb to by the end of the night. At least, you hope so. 

You don’t have much time, you’ve realized that as soon as the elevator dings the first time to indicate its ascent, therefore you’re trying to get what you can while you can. You throw your arms over Joaquín’s shoulders and hook them around his neck, pulling him down towards you as you tilt yourself up into him. His body curves to engulf yours in his warmth, but he kisses you like he has all the time in the world. 

He kisses you like he means it, like there’s more than one mutually shared goal at the end of this motivating him. 

It’s hard not to give in to the slow and longing way Joaquín kisses you. You don’t even try resisting it at a certain point. Instead, you press your chest up into his and lean up on your toes to get more of him, yet not initiating a change in the pace at all. You like the slow way Joaquín’s lips move against yours. You feel much more this way. 

Your fingers lay across the back of his neck and just as they start to inch up into the faded part of his haircut, the elevator dings and announces your floor. 

You and Joaquín separate with clear hesitance in the movement. The two of you stare at each other, unmoving, just looking in each other’s eyes. His eyes look darker than you’ve ever seen them before. If you got closer, you think you would see his pupils blown out. From here, though, you see his desire in other ways—the flush on his cheeks, the prominence of his chest rising and falling, the hint of your lip products that have rubbed off on his lips. 

The elevator door starts to shut and Joaquín is forced into making the first move. He slots his arm between the doors just before they close and he stays there when they open. He turns to look at you, tilts his head in a beckon, and holds his hand out for you to grab.

The walk to your rooms feels much longer than it usually does. You try to make it go as fast as possible, skittering ahead of Joaquín as fast as your impractical sandals would allow, but you’re trying not to look too eager all the while. Still, when you reach the number you’ve memorized for the week and turn around to look at him, he has a slight smile of amusement on his face. 

You’re already searching into your bag for your key when you ask, “Yours or mine?”

Joaquín reaches around you for the handle to the door without speaking. You watch him press the key card to the sensor and push the door handle down just as you feel your fingers find the piece of plastic. 

“We gave each other one of each when we checked in, remember? Just in case.” comes his unprompted explanation. And now that you’ve been reminded, you do remember. Your key to Joaquín’s room has been sitting on the dresser forgotten the entire week. You know he wouldn’t have done it, not without your explicit consent, but you wish Joaquín had used the key to his advantage once this week. You wish he would have acted on the tension between you both, the tension that you’re finally realizing has been reciprocated this entire time. 

But now it’s happening. There’s no reason to complain when you’re getting what you wanted. 

His hands are on your hips as he leads you into the room, your bag is thrown to the floor and your shoes are kicked off of your feet. Your body is turned at his will, your eyes meet his as he lazily grins  down at you. His tongue flicks out over his lips in a quick and smooth movement, and at a much slower pace, you lean back in to press your lips back to his. 

Joaquín’s hands automatically latch onto your lower back, one warm palm pressed into the thin fabric of your dress and the other settling right on your bare skin in the opening. Meanwhile, you start working on his shirt, popping button after button through the holes. You stop when you’re halfway down, not on your own accord. 

You’re forced to stop when Joaquín slots his hands behind your thighs and he easily lifts you up. You squeal into the kiss on instinct. 

There’s a moment where both of you are grinning against each other’s lips and it just feels so right. It feels incredibly natural to be doing this, to be smiling when you’re kissing Joaquín, even though nearly everything else about this situation isn’t natural for the two of you (your erect nipples rubbing against his chest, your panties stuck to your cunt, the very faint brush of his cock stiff in his pants that you get on the journey up). 

“You’re just showing off,” you half-heartedly chide. 

Joaquín shrugs and walks you back to the bed. “Maybe just a little.” He places you down, kneeling between your legs and finishing off the remaining buttons on his shirt. “You love it, though.”

You don’t admit it verbally, but the way you shamelessly ogle his chest when he pulls the shirt off says everything. 

As soon as his shirt is gone, he places a hand on your ankle, slowly inching your dress up a few inches before he stops and looks at you. His expression is open, you can tell what he’s asking without words. But for good measure, he includes them. 

“Can I keep going?”

You nod, eager and unashamed. “Yeah. Keep going.”

He starts to push the bright fabric further and further up your legs, speaking to you as he continues. “You gotta let me know if …” his words taper off when he sees the first hint of your panties, and you don’t know exactly what he’s seeing, but it makes him speechless for a moment and your ego inflates. 

“I’ll let you know if …?” Cockiness is audible in your words but he doesn’t comment on it. 

Joaquín blinks and comes back to himself. “If you wanna stop, or if you want something changed. We gotta communicate.” 

“M’kay.” 

And with that, Joaquín pushes the fabric completely over your hips and he’s met with your panties. They’re a bright color that compliments the color of your dress, and, consequently, your tanned skin. He swears under his breath and although you don’t hear him clearly at all, you’re pretty sure it wasn’t in English. 

You sit up fully and slip your dress over your torso with Joaquín’s help. He lets the fabric drop to the floor without looking, his eyes are focused solely on your chest. 

You’re laying back on your elbows, elevated just enough to look at him. You stare at his eyes, even if you aren’t making eye contact, while he leans up to hover over you. His head dips and he presses a single kiss in the center of your chest and repeats the action right over each side of your ribcage. The tip of his nose grazes your breast and instinctively you arch up towards him. When he pulls away just enough to look up at you, you see him smiling.

You could beg, but the night has only begun. You decide to save that for later. For now, you huff and stick your spine back to the mattress. 

Joaquín places a hand around your side and dips his head back down, this time higher than before. When he latches his lips around your nipple, a little gasp breaks from between your lips. He lets his teeth scrape against the bud, alternating between giving you pressure and giving you wet heat from his tongue. By the time he switches to your other nipple, you’re already desperate for a true relief focused on your cunt. His lips travel upwards, brushing against your skin throughout the journey, until he’s pressing them into the side of your neck and under your jaw. You let him continue upwards, you let him kiss you a bit more, but you can only go so long without real, fruitful stimulation. And maybe another time after this (circumstances willing) you would love to prolong everything. 

But right now you need to get fucked, whatever that could entail. 

You buck your hips up and end up catching the bulge in Joaquín’s pants where his zipper lies. You think he’ll catch on that way, and maybe he does, but he just chooses to ignore it. Either way, you send him a hint and Joaquín doesn’t do anything about it. He continues kissing you, he tweaks your nipples and slots a knee between your legs, all of which you’re grateful for since it is a stepping stone in the right direction. But you need stimulation, you need to get off, and the slow crawl is slowly driving you crazy. 

You pull away from Joaquín to call his name. He responds with a gruff yeah that immediately settles deep in your gut. 

“I need more. Please.” 

He grins right in your face. The expression almost looks wicked on him for the first time ever. He has the power here right now and he’s obviously letting it go to his head. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks while his hand slides down between your bodies until his thick fingers can slip between your clothed folds. 

His question was rhetorical (and smug but that’s besides the point), yet you still find yourself going to respond. Your lips part, you can feel the corners turning down as you prepare to say something just as smug back to him, but then he presses down and quickly finds your clit after a moment of fumbling. As far as words go, you’re silent. Nothing but sounds slip from your mouth from that point onwards. 

Joaquín toys with your clit. He starts with one finger, just the pad of what you think might be his middle finger, and when that has you forcing your hips up into his touch, he adds a second finger. With two fingers, he has more space to work with, resulting in larger circles right over the most sensitive part of you. He speeds up, too. 

Your back arches and you dig your nails into the sheets. You know what you want to ask for, it's simple and you’d already said the word in this space, but it gets trapped in your throat this time. You’re close already. Yeah, you’d been getting yourself off throughout the week, but finally having Joaquín do it for you has made you so much more responsive. 

You get the first syllable out, the ‘M’ vibrating in your throat before you open your mouth to round it out in an ‘O’. 

Joaquín picks up where you left off. 

“More?” he asks, eyebrows lifting as he holds your heavy gaze. Before you even respond with a nod, he’s already sitting back far enough to slip his hand in your panties and repeat his emotions. 

The first real touch dizzies you for a moment. You pinch your eyes shut with the pure intention of orienting yourself, but then Joaquín chastises you in a soft, but firm voice. 

“Look at me. I wanna see you.” 

You do as told, of course. 

He nods. “There we go.” His fingers get just a little faster, the circles tighter. You’re so wet that there isn’t any uncomfortable friction at all, his skin easily glides against yours. 

“You close?” he asks after a moment. When you nod, he continues, “If I give you this one, you’ll be able to give me another, right? You can give me more?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can.” You’re breathless when you speak, and it certainly doesn’t help that it’s then when Joaquín decides to pull his fingers away completely, pull your panties to the side, and sink down completely until his face is level with your cunt. 

Just the image below you is enough to twist that section deep into your stomach into a knot. He’s barely able to give you anything before your back is arching off of the bed and everything in you mounts to a peak. 

When you come, it’s from the controlled and effective licks Joaquín delivers to your cunt. You don’t know when your hand moves on its own, but you feel silk-like strands between your fingers. It helps anchor you, gripping his hair helps keep you sane, especially when Joaquín keeps going. 

He broadens his reach this time. His mouth opens wide enough to slide his tongue down from your entrance and back up towards your clit. And he doesn’t just lick this time, you hear the audible suck from him. He’s slurping that shit, and you can already feel the introduction of another orgasm. 

If you were with anyone else, you’d be shocked at how soon another is on the precipice. But it’s Joaquín, and aside from the fact that you’ve wanted him for a while, you’re not exactly shocked that he knows what he’s doing. 

He slowly sinks one finger into you, pumping the digit in and out of you with meticulous ease. It’s a stark contrast from the almost sloppy way he’s eating you out. But it works. 

One finger is nice, it’s thicker than your own, rougher, too. You could get off just like that. And then, he adds a second. 

“Fuck,” you swear without any conscious intention. 

Joaquín comes up for air, releasing you with an audible smack. “Yeah?” he asks, the word coming from right in his throat. 

You nod as you take in the way he looks—cheeks flushed, hair tousled and hanging over his forehead, pink lips shining, his eyes wide and nearly doe-like. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. You see a look flash in Joaquín’s eyes then. It’s a look similar to the one he has whenever Sam affirms his work with a clap on the back—self-satisfied, delighted, proud. It occurs to you then that he doesn’t know what he’s doing to you. He can read your body language, sure. It’s obvious from your cunt, along how good he’s making you feel, but you know verbal affirmation is different. It’s better, especially for Joaquín. 

As he goes back in to finish you off, you speak to him.

“Just like that,” you tell him. Just this little bit encourages him, you can feel it in his movements.  “Keep going. ‘M close, so close, Joaquín. Please, don’t stop. You’re so … you’re so—” Before you can even get it out, all noise dies completely from you. Your mouth uselessly hangs open, not even air comes out as your entire body stiffens. Nothing happens for a moment, Joaquín continues, you’re stuck, and then a nanosecond later everything knocks into you. 

Sound emits from you, moans and groans and breaths. You’re digging into whatever you can find—the heel of your foot into Joaquín’s back, your hands in his hair, the rest of your body into the twisted sheets beneath you. You’re simultaneously trying to escape and trying to keep Joaquín from parting with you for even a moment. It’s hard to decide which you prefer, you don’t even think your mind has any say in the dilemma, your body is in control at this point. 

Ultimately, your body decides to let go, releasing both of you at the same time. Still, Joaquín takes a moment to pull from you. He continues licking and sucking, but his fingers slowing down indicates his intent to free you. It comes after a few drawn out moments where you’re stuck twitching beneath him until finally, he pulls his fingers out of you and presses one final kiss right onto your clit. 

His head lifts and the evidence is more obvious than you expected. It’s gathered all over his chin, stuck along the beginnings of facial hair that will likely be gone first thing Monday morning. It’s gathered on his lips and along his tongue when he uses the muscle to pull the remnants of your arousal into his mouth. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and only then does he realize how much of a mess you’ve made of him. He pulls his hand back, brown eyes big as he stares at the evidence. 

“Shit,” he laughs. 

All you can do is agree through labored breaths. 

He tries to clean you off of his mouth, but not much is done. He leans in tentatively after that, as if you’re going to shy away from him. You don’t. 

You kiss him back eagerly, although a bit lethargically. You’re trying to hide it from fear that Joaquín could think that you’re done. But your body needs a moment to recover from that. 

When Joaquín pulls away from you with a small smile on his face, you know he’s onto you. 

“You need a minute?” The way he says it isn’t much different from the way he asks you those same words when he’s kicking your ass in the gym. 

And just like when you’re in the gym, you shamefully nod. 

Joaquín chuckles and leans in to kiss your forehead. “That’s okay. You want anything? Water maybe?” 

“Water sounds good.” 

You watch him leave and then your eyes are focused solely on the ceiling. You can’t even let what’s happening sink in when you’re still a little spacey. But you can handle more. You want more from him. 

Joaquín comes back with a glass of water. He stands next to the bed and passes the full glass to you. You don’t question the source, you just drink until there’s half left. You offer it to him and he gladly takes it from you. 

“Are you … do you wanna stop?” He speaks when the glass has been emptied and placed on the nightstand. For the most part he looks like he would be unaffected by whatever answer you gave, but you think you can detect some premature dejection in his features. Quickly, he adds, “Because it’s fine if you do. I’m okay with that.” And he’s being honest. You don’t feel any pressure coming from Joaquín at all. 

It’s what you truly mean and want when you immediately shake your head. “No. Let’s keep going.” 

He nods once to himself. “Alright. Cool. Yeah.” 

Excitement leaks from his pores but you don’t comment on it. You felt just as he did not long ago. You still feel like that, but you’re under a haze right now and that’s what your emotions are being led with. 

Joaquín hooks his thumbs into his already-loosened jeans and goes to pull them down. First, though, he pats at his pockets. When he doesn’t feel what he’s looking for, he swears. 

“One second.”

You watch his form retreat until the door of your room is pulled open. Not even a minute later he comes back in with a foil pocket brandished between his fingers, the same fingers that were in you not long ago. 

“You came prepared?” The question comes out more judgemental than you meant it to. 

Joaquín shrugs. “I keep an emergency bag full of … stuff. You know, in case of an emergency.” 

“Freak.” You don’t mean it. 

“You’re about to get fucked by a freak so, wouldn’t that make you a freak by association?” He seems to mean it. 

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

He holds the packet between his teeth while he slides his jeans off of his legs, stepping out of them and leaving them at the foot of the bed. He comes back around to the side, pulling the packet out from his teeth and staring down at you. Like this he looks more imposing than he ever has before. 

When he’s been out in the field, when he’s training, when he yelled at the car earlier tonight, he didn’t look as imposing as he does now—staring down at you over the bridge of his nose, hair tousled, cock tenting in his black briefs. 

“That’s definitely how that works,” he claims as he leans down. He presses his hands into the bed beneath you to leverage himself as he kisses you, slow and passionate. You wonder if he’ll fuck you like that too. 

You reach a hand up and pull the elastic away from his waist. When he doesn’t react, you tug the fabric down. You feel it get stuck around his cock just before you feel his cock spring free. It brushes against your wrist and you make a little noise into the kiss. 

As soon as Joaquín’s briefs are laying at his feet he assumes his previous position, this time sitting right on his haunches. You avoid looking at his cock for a moment, but when you watch him tear the condom packet open, you get the first glimpse at him. 

Even this part of him is attractive. He’s thick, that’s the first thing you notice. Thick and heavy, if the way he hangs to the side is any indicator. There’s a vein leading from his taut stomach down towards the dark and trimmed thatch of hair at the base of his cock. You hadn’t noticed the vein ever before, not when you had been too busy ogling the v-line chiseled into his torso instead. 

Now that you’ve seen all of Joaquín, you can easily conclude that he’s perfect. Just as you have that thought, Joaquín takes an inhale as he prepares to speak. 

“You’re so perfect,” he says. 

The warmth instantly floods your body. 

“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” you tell him. 

He dips his head almost shyly and doesn’t say anything. Instead, Joaquín pulls the condom out of the packet. 

“Wait. Lemme do it. Can I do it?” 

He looks momentarily surprised at your request, but he passes you the condom and politely places his hands on top of his thighs. 

It’s truly an excuse to feel him beneath your palm as you glide the latex barrier down his length. You revel in the warmth beneath your hand, because as soon as you’ve secured the barrier around the base of his shaft, Joaquín's leading you back without even having to touch you. He leans forward and in response, you lean all the way back until you’re nestled amongst the pillows at the head of the bed. 

“Ready?” 

You nod, letting your legs fall open for him. 

One warm hand falls to the inside of your thigh while the other disappears between your legs to line up his dick. Then, slowly, Joaquín pushes forward. The stretch is instant, you can feel yourself opening up wider and wider to fully fit him in. If you weren’t as soaked and prepped as you were, you’re sure the burn would’ve been way worse. 

For a few moments it’s like the length of him keeps going and going, but then you feel his thighs press up against the back of yours and there’s the faint feeling of his balls resting against your ass and you know he’s bottomed out. He looks at you, gauging your reaction, and your response comes in the form of linking a leg around his back.

Joaquín smiles through nothing but the twitch of the corner of his mouth upwards, and then he wastes no more time. He rests his weight on his hands at either side of your head, and pulls his hips back just to roll them forward and slide his cock back into you. 

And for a bit, Joaquín does fuck you slow and passionate. He fucks you in full strokes, a nice tempo that doesn’t overwhelm you too quickly. There’s punctuation at the end of each thrust, followed by a nearly agonizing pull back out. Whether intentional or not, Joaquín’s introducing you to the feeling of his cock filling you up, just as he’s introducing the concept of another release to you. 

But you’ve had your fill, it’s his turn now. 

You press your hands into his shoulders. They glide back, one hand grazing over the raised skin of the scar that leads down his back, the other following a smooth path, but they meet in the same place—back around the front to where his chain hangs. You hook one finger into the gold link, the other going behind his head. You pull him closer until you can nudge your noses together. 

His eyes flutter shut and his eyebrows pinch together in the center. You kiss him once and pull back to tell him, “You can use me, Joaquín. Take what you want.”

His eyes open to stare at you with confusion written on his face, bordering on hope, as if he already has an idea formed in his head of what he really wants to do to you. 

You nod assuredly. “It’s what I want.” Just as you’re about to add a quiet plea to seal the deal, Joaquín adjusts his position and then he pulls nearly all the way out of you, only to forcefully drive back into you. 

The switch is immediate. He still fucks you in complete motions, but they’re shorter, no longer the tip to the shaft each time. These are faster, much faster. It feels like he’s reaching up into your guts each time, just to pull back and do it again and again and again. 

You’re forced to find purchase again, hands digging into whatever you can find. One hand attaches to his hair and the other holds onto his chain, your legs have linked around Joaquín’s hips, your head has craned backwards, leaving the area between the base of your neck and your chest open for Joaquín to rest his forehead on. 

You can’t hear his sounds over yours, but you feel them—quick breaths let out onto the sweat coated area of your chest. You would try and silence yourself to better hear him, but you couldn’t even if you tried. 

Luckily, though, Joaquín lifts his head and notches his nose against the side of your neck instead. He kisses you right beneath your earlobe, but when he can no longer complete that action, his jaw goes slack and every single noise he makes travels directly to your ear. 

You swear and it comes out as a whimper, not even a second later Joaquín swears and it’s a deep groan all the way from the back of his throat. You call his name and he calls yours. He’s affecting you, and you’re affecting him, even just by laying back and urging him to get himself off by using your body.

“Are you close?” you eventually gather the strength, and will, to ask. 

You feel Joaquín nod against your neck. “Yeah,” he confirms, “yeah, baby, ‘m almost there.” 

Your reaction is instant. You groan, a sound that could be interpreted as frustration if you weren’t having your guts completely rearranged right now. 

He chuckles deeply against your skin. “What? What’s up?”

“C…Call me that again.”

“What? ‘Baby’? You like when I call you baby?” 

You hum affirmatively. 

Joaquín lifts his head and slots one hand against your cheek. His pace slows as he stares at you. “You’re my baby? Hm? Are you?” 

You nod, whining out an “uh-huh”. 

“Yeah?” he grins as he says it, as if he’s shocked that you agreed. You don’t know if he’s serious, if he knows that his words are holding weight even if you’re a little dumb right now, but you do mean it. 

He licks his lips and you see an idea coming to his head. “You gonna be good for me, too?” When you nod, he continues. “Be good for me, baby, and touch yourself, alright?”

He gives you the space needed and watches your hand slide down your stomach. When you use two fingers to tweak your already overstimulated clit, Joaquín nods. 

“That’s right. Just like that.” 

He resumes his original pace, this time with his eyes fully locked on your cunt. He pulls one of your legs up and throws it over his shoulder, leaning forward to get even deeper into you. 

You’re close, you’re almost there, and the erratic way Joaquín practically jackhammers into you as he chases his own release is what pushes you over. You finish just after Joaquín buries himself into you and curls his body over yours. This orgasm truly feels like a release. Everything in you melts into the world around you, just as Joaquín’s body melts on top of yours. 

He kisses the skin closest to him, first in small almost discrete pecks, and then they gradually get bigger and more audible until he’s clearly making them ridiculous on purpose. 

His cock is still nestled in you and his head is still resting on your chest when he speaks. “You think you’ll be up for a shower?”

You hum, letting the question run through your head for a minute before responding. “In about ten minutes, yeah.” 

“Take your time.”

In the meantime, Joaquín slowly slides out of you. The emptiness is immediate, but after all you’ve been through since getting back to your room, you don’t exactly hate it. Your eyes start to feel heavy but you let them close for a little while. You rely on your other senses throughout. 

The feeling of Joaquín kissing over where you think your bikini tan lines are, the rim of the glass that he brings to your lips, the sound of his voice as he gently urges you to drink, the feeling of cool water sliding down your throat. He holds you steady as you drink with a hand behind your head. Your lips turn up tiredly, and you feel his thumb at the corner of your lip catching a stray drop of water. You don’t have to open your eyes to know he’s wearing that same soft look on his features.

You’re so pampered there that you don’t force yourself to get up until you hear the shower running. 

Joaquín’s already there waiting for you at the door. He smiles when he sees you as if he’s shocked that you came, even though this is your room and your bathroom. Still, he reaches out and grabs your hand, pulling you into the bathroom and in front of him. His hands push at your back, guiding you towards the shower. He pulls the door open for you and lets you step inside before he follows after you. 

You reach for the towel and soap, but stop when he tuts behind you. 

“I got it,” is all he says. So you let yourself completely relax with the feeling of Joaquín dragging the cloth up and down your limbs. He talks to you throughout, mostly asking you to lift an arm or turn around, sometimes bringing up small bits of conversation, every now and then singing bits of songs—some that you recognize, some that you don’t. There’s a familiarity now that you’ve gained since his hands had massaged sunscreen into your shoulders. 

Eventually, though, he finishes with you, leaving you to lean against the wall and watch him shower.

“You know what I realized like a few minutes ago?” he says when he’s rinsing the soap off of his body. 

“What?”

“Remember the couple from the club that first night? The one who kept buying us drinks?”

“Yeah, how could I forget?”

“Yeah well I’m pretty sure they thought we were like … swingers or some shit.”

You’re startled awake. “Huh? Why do you think that?”

“Oh I don’t think, I know. The guy gave me his number and everything. Plus you saw the way they were looking at us, and the woman kept cozying up to you.”

You frown. “I thought she was just drunk or friendly.”

“She definitely was drunk and friendly. And she also wanted you.” 

You blink. “I thought she wanted you.”

Joaquín shrugs and rinses the last of the soap from his back before he shuts the water off. “She probably did. That’s sort of part of the whole swingers gig, isn’t it?”

You laugh through a quick exhale of air. “Come on, Joaquín, let’s go to bed.” 

You step out of the shower and wrap a towel around your body. Joaquín follows after you. 

“Oh, I get to sleep with you tonight?” He sounds giddy when he says it, as if he wasn’t just fucking you so good that your legs are still getting used to walking again. When you tell him that, you see the unintended compliment go straight to his head. 

You end up getting exactly what you wanted. Joaquín leans into the bathroom counter with the towel hung low around his waist and his eyes watching you do your skincare routine. As soon as you’re finished, he’s trekking off to his room for a change of clothes and to do whatever he needs to do, and he comes back in nothing but boxers with a big shirt in his hand. He lays it on the counter for you casually, but you see the tips of his ears tinted just a tiny bit red when he retreats back to your room. 

You come out in his shirt to see him lying on your side of the bed, the remote in his hand and pointed at the TV. As if the entire trip had been going like this the entire time, he instantly scoots over when you come to the side of the bed and lifts the sheets for you to climb under. You lay curled into his side, telling him to click a channel playing a movie that you know he likes. 

The remote is placed on the nightstand, the lights are clicked off and you’re snuggled up next to Joaquín, wearing his shirt and talking about how the two of you are going to spend your last day of vacation. 

Not everything goes how you thought it would, though. Joaquín ends up being pretty mindful with his blanket usage. 

[lolab4t]

pinned down - smut 18+

MINORS DNI

pairing: thunderbolt!bucky barnes x f!thunderbolt!younger!reader summary: daily sparring sessions with bucky always toe the line between playfulness and tension. but today, that tension snaps. when another round ends with you straddling him on the mat, it sets off a chain reaction of confessions, teasing, and desire too long buried. bucky finally stops holding back, and so do you. word count: 8.8k warning(s): 18+ explicit content warning, smut, mature themes, light swearing, some power dynamics, dry humping, unprotected p in v, semi-public setting, mention of thunderbolts*, age difference, reader is described with afab anatomy a/n: so bucky is officially my current fictional man of the month. like i was always a loki girly, but tumblr has converted me... anyways, i really hope you enjoy :) and if you do, please feel free to like, comment, or reblog! <3 also, requests are open!

killshot - magdalena bay

“again,” bucky grunted as he got to his feet, breathless but stubborn.

the two of you were in the thunderbolts training facility, doing your daily sparring. strength wise, you were both pretty much on the same level. but, for some reason, you always seemed to come out on top. literally. it was usually you pinning him down.

you rolled your eyes from where you stood across the mat. “you sure? that’s the third time i’ve had you on your back today.”

his lips twitched. “don’t flatter yourself.”

"too late for that…" you chuckled, backing into your stance. “c’mon, grandpa.”

that got him moving.

he hated when you called him that. grandpa? sure, he was over 100 years old, but he sure didn't feel or seem like it. plus, a lot of those years he didn't even remember.

he didn't want you to think of him as too old for you.

the two of you danced in circles, boots quiet against the padded floor. it wasn’t serious, just the usual, but there was always an edge when it came to you and bucky. teasing. testing. a little too much eye contact.

he lunged. you dodged. your leg hooked around his, and with a twist and a push, he hit the mat again with a thud.

you landed straddling his hips, pinning his shoulders with your hands, grinning down at him.

“fourth time,” you said smugly. “you getting rusty, barnes?”

he didn’t answer right away. just blinked up at you with that unreadable expression, metal fingers twitching at your sides like he was debating something.

then, without warning, he moved.

in a blur of motion, he twisted under you, caught you off balance, and the next thing you knew, you were the one flat on your back. his body hovered over yours, one knee braced between your legs, hands pinning your wrists to the mat.

your breath hitched. why was that so hot?

trying to compensate for the blush creeping onto your cheeks, you scoffed, “cheap shot.”

“all’s fair,” bucky replied, his voice low. you could tell he was partially lost in thought, like he was still debating something.

you shifted under him, pretending like your pulse wasn’t hammering in your throat. “you gonna make a move, or just hover like a weirdo?”

his grip on your wrists didn’t tighten, but his gaze did… sharp, focused, like he was searching for something in your face.

“i think i just did,” he said, letting out a dry, short laugh.

your breath hitched again.

you knew what he meant.

the words hung there for a beat too long.

his eyes were bracing for rejection, like he’d already decided he could handle it.

then, breaking the silence, he gave a small smirk, “you know, i usually just let you pin me.”

you laughed, short, breathless. "oh, so you're saying you don't even try?"

"maybe i just like the view when you're on top of me."

you stared up at him, feeling like your heart stopped beating.

then you swallowed, speaking in an unsure tone. "you being serious?"

"i'm not the messing-around type. you should know that by now."

"good," you smiled, "neither am i."

his smirk turned into a grin, “so… rematch?”

you hummed, “maybe. only if you’re playing for keeps.”

then your grin turned into a smirk, your eyes darkening. "or… we could do something else."

he snickered, the challenge in his eyes shifting into something deeper, more intense. he lowered his voice, just enough for you to barely hear him.

“something else, huh?”

you nodded slowly, heart racing, the heat between you suddenly more than just from exertion. his metal fingers brushed against your jaw, light as a feather but enough to make you catch your breath.

“tell me what you want,” he murmured, his voice husky, close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin.

you swallowed, eyes looking up into his almost innocently, words barely a whisper. “right here. right now.”

he chuckled low, a sound that sent shivers down your spine.

then, his lips were on yours. rough. passionate. heated.

he pulled your bodies up to a sitting position, you in his lap, straddling him.

your hands were all over each other. hungry.

“tell me if i’m moving too fast,” he murmured against your lips, voice thick with desire but a hint of hesitation.

you whispered against his mouth, “don’t stop.”

his lips curled into a slow smile before dipping down to kiss the sensitive skin along your neck. the roughness of his stubble mixed with the softness of his touch made your skin shiver.

you grounded your hips down on him, aiming for his growing bulge, causing him to let out a low grunt.

“i’m right here,” he murmured, voice low and whiny. “just tell me what you want.”

your hands explored the broad planes of his chest beneath his shirt, feeling the steady beat of his heart. your fingers curled into the fabric as you pressed closer, bouncing on his lap slowly.

"you, bucky. i want you."

he unraveled before you. his hands were on your hips, guiding your grinding to hit where he need you most just right. his face was in the crook of your neck. you could feel his quick breaths against your skin.

you whined, making yourself feel good against him. one of your hands snaked around the back his neck, moving up slowly to tangle your fingers in hair. the other moved down from his chest to his abs slowly, stopping right at his belt.

one hand remained on your hip, while the other had already unclasped your bra and pulled your shirt over your head.

he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes dark and searching. “god, you're beautiful."

then his gaze softened ever so slightly, "we don’t have to rush.”

you shook your head, breathless but sure. “i don’t want to wait.”

his smirk deepened, “then let me show you how much i’ve been holding back,” he murmured, voice thick with need.

his lips found your jaw, trailing hot kisses down to your throat. you tipped your head back, giving him better access, grinding on him in a faster pace now. you tugged on his shirt, pulling it up slightly.

he chuckled as he moved his hand to pull his shirt the rest of the way over his head.

his lips went back to your neck, leaving a trail from your throat back up to your mouth, where he captured your lips in a kiss that was all tongue and heat and longing.

“fuck,” he breathed against your lips, “i’ve wanted this for so long.”

you smiled against his mouth, fingers trailing down his chest, feeling every muscle tense beneath your touch.

“then don’t hold back,” you whispered.

he grinned as his hands roamed lower, "i know you like having me on my back, but it's your turn, again."

his smirk widened as he eased you back onto the mat, hovering over you with that smug face.

“payback’s a bitch, huh?” he murmured, voice low and teasing as he brushed his lips along your jaw. “but don’t worry… i’ll make sure you enjoy every second of it.”

he slid your pants and panties down your legs, his mouth following the path of his hands, slow and deliberate, worshiping every inch of skin he revealed with eyes drinking you in like he’d never seen anything more beautiful. you were breathless under his gaze.

you tugged at his belt, fingers fumbling with need, and he let out a soft, breathless laugh, helping you shed the last of his clothes.

he captured your lips in another kiss, before pulling back to position himself in front of your entrance. "you sure about this? we can slow down."

you looked up at him, "i'm sure, bucky." your voice was confident and firm.

his jaw tensed at your words, like restraint was hanging by a thread.

“okay,” he breathed, voice husky and deep. “okay.”

he kissed you again, slower this time, like he was memorizing the shape of your mouth. his hands smoothed down your sides, grounding you, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched as he finally pushed into you.

his movement was slow, deliberate, patient…

he smiled, soft, lopsided, nothing like the usual cocky smirk. just him.

his name fell from your lips in a whisper, and he caught it with another kiss, like he’d been waiting to hear it just like that.

bucky held you like you were something precious, like every inch of you mattered. and maybe, to him, it did.

your bodies moved in rhythm. his hands mapped your body with quiet touch, no rush, just the kind of intent that said this wasn’t just want, it was care. maybe even more.

the air between you was heavy, warm, laced with the sound of shared breaths and quiet murmurs of each other’s names.

it wasn't long before you both unraveled in each other's arms, your movements halting.

your bodies laid tangled in one another. bucky let out a quiet chuckle, pressing a kiss to your temple. “so… still think i’m getting rusty?”

you laughed, breathless and content. “nah. you’re just finally playing to win.”

he smirked, brushing sweaty strands from your face, his tone teasing but his gaze full of something much softer. “then i hope you’re ready to keep losing.”

and for once, you didn’t mind losing.

thanks so much for reading <3 requests are open

[julymusings]

AND A KISS FOR GOOD LUCK !

i only have you. take care of yourself for me. i take care of myself for you.

cw: descriptions of scars/bleeding/wounds

Leaning closer to the mirror, Jason picks at the skin of his cheek until he feels that familiar dry sting on his face and the thin stickiness of blood under his nails. It elicits barely a wince, he’s so used to the feeling. He watches blood flood inside the abrasion, the flushing, half-healed pink turning to a watery red. 

He hears your footsteps approaching softly, but doesn’t look away from his reflection. He moves his attention to a fresh mark on his chin where the raised, jagged edges of the new scar have just started to scab— an undercover job; one where he had nothing but a thin layer of armor underneath his clothes, his helmet stashed away somewhere in the rafters. The skin is peeling at the corners, and he tugs at the bits of flesh. 

“Jay.”

He finally tears his eyes away from the mirror; you’re standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with crossed arms. Your lips droop into a frown, teeth biting on your bottom lip. 

“Hey,” he says. He focuses somewhere between your forehead and eyebrows.

“What are you doing?” Your voice is neutral, gentle.

“These fuckin’ cuts,” he mutters. “They’re itching like crazy.”

It’s a half-truth; yes, they do itch like crazy, and it does make him want to claw his skin off sometimes. But that’s not why he’s doing it.

It has become second nature for him, scratching and tearing and aggravating the wounds on his face. Something he does when he’s antsy, or idle, or deep in thought. Just as every other time you find him like this, you shuffle forward and place your hand over his.

Reflexively, he interlaces his fingers with yours, a small, guilty smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Can I help?” You ask, softly, while leaning against his side. You place a kiss on his shoulder, over the fabric of his sleeve; the shine of your lip balm leaves a mark.

“It’s nothin’ to worry about, baby. It’s almost midnight. I have to head out soon.” The back of his hand haphazardly wipes a single swipe across his cheek, but all it does is smear the blood over his face. His jaw tightens momentarily, and you can tell it burns. 

“Come here,” you say, sliding yourself between him and the wash basin. You cup his face between your hands, dragging your thumb along his chapped bottom lip.

“You chew on your lips too much, Jay.”

He exhales slowly, sagging into your hold. On another day, he’d chuckle or playfully roll his eyes with a kiss to the pad of your thumb. Tonight, he can’t even meet your eyes.

You hop up unto the bathroom counter and pull him close to stand between your legs. There’s a clean washcloth hanging from the towel hook, and you run it under warm water, then wring it out. Jason flinches slightly when you reach out to his face, but settles back into your touch without argument. With soft strokes, you wipe away the thin line of blood, then drag the cloth across the rest of his face, careful not to aggravate the fresh mark on his chin. He remains still the whole time, gaze fixed on the mirror behind you.

“Does it sting?” You ask. He shakes his head.

“Can you look at me?”

Reluctantly, he raises his eyes to yours.

He doesn’t say it, but his eyes say enough, say the harsh assault on himself that sits on his tongue, fighting to break through his teeth.

“You’re so beautiful, Jason.” You trace your fingers along the lines of his features.

“You don’t have to do that.” He turns his face to the wall, trying to hide the frustrated tears that threaten to spill over. It cracks your heart in two, seeing the loveliest person you know blind to his own beauty.

“Jason,” you whisper, voice filled with desperation for him to hear all the words he won’t let you say. “Baby.” It’s a wish; a plea.

He’s never been good with words like these, starving for kindness with a mangled stomach. You learned this the hard way, after trying to force-feed him the intensity of your affection, thinking it would help him when it only made him sick. Now you dole it out in silent, digestible amounts; a squeeze of his hand here, a kiss to the forehead there.

He says nothing, but turns his head back to you. For now, it’s enough.

“What’s that for?” He nods to the bottle of opaque white water you plucked from your side of the sink.

“Rice water. It’s good for your skin, especially if you’re marinating under a sweaty helmet for hours,” you tease.

He grumbles out something along the lines of it’s well-ventilated, but nonetheless, he places his hands on either side of you to lean down towards your eye-level. You rub the solution between your hands and massage it into his face. He always seems to relax when your hands are on him; his eyes flutter shut and his lips part with a relieved breath.

You can’t help yourself—he really is so beautiful—and you steal a kiss to his nose.

“What’s that for?” He opens his eyes at the sound of you unscrewing yet another bottle.

“Oil. For the scars,” you say, tentatively.

His fingers twitch against the counter, but after a moment, he nods. You dab some of the pink oil onto your fingers, and carefully rub it into the jagged marks that decorate his chin, his cheeks, his jaw. He stiffens when you make contact with them, and you’re not sure you hear him exhale until after you pull away.

The bottle is replaced by a small tube of lip balm, and Jason tilts his head. “More?” One of his hands rests on your thigh and strokes up and down.

You tsk at him. “Can you just trust me?” You don’t give him a chance to argue before squeezing the tube and spreading the balm across his lips. His protests are muffled behind his mouth, which he keeps shut so you can work.

“Now I’m done.” You hop down from the sink, and he trails after you into the hall; you know he needs to stop at a safe house before starting his patrol, so you don’t let him linger in the bathroom with his hands on you— similar situations have made him very late in the past, and you’re not interested in getting another earful from his team.

His duffel bag of weapons and gear is already on the living room floor, ready for him to grab and go. A familiar thread of nerves and lonely pining run through your body.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a few hours.” Jason lifts the bag with one hand, and pushes a stand of hair behind your ear with the other.

“You better.”

He leans in to peck your lips, but you throw yourself at him for a fiery, desperate kiss straight out of a Hollywood movie. It surprises him enough to make the bag hit the ground as he wraps his arms around your waist to kiss you back with matching fervor.

He’s panting when you release him, face burning red and chest rising rapidly. Try as he might, he can’t hide the shy, flustered grin stretching across his face. “And what was that for?”

You shrug. “For good luck. Obviously.”

He blows out a breath, shaking his head. “Obviously.”

You run your hand up his arm and squeeze on his bicep. “Stay safe. Please.”

He smiles, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I will.”

heyyyyy guys. so lots has happened. we hit 1k😱😱I feel like a real life influencer now. Hey what’s up you guys welcome back to my YouTube channel, today’s video we are going to be fantasizing about emotionally unavailable men!!! U should totally check my recent post and participate in the celebration

This is based on this ask , read it for some more background, and the quote is from gabriela mistral’s letters to Doris Dana 👍🙏also this was not proofread don’t judge me🙏🙏

Thee divider is by cafekitsune I don’t feel like finding the post to link it I’m SORRYYYYY

[solrburst]

the nanny — joel miller

pairing: joel miller x nanny!reader

summary: Joel is desperate for a nanny for Ellie, and you're his last hope.

tags/warnings: dad!joel, age gap, mention of death, alternative universe/no cordyceps, unprotected sex, oral sex (f! receiving), joel is a flirt, dirty talk

author's note: i love seeing flirty!joel almost as i love dad!joel

word count: 12k

The sun beat down heavy on Austin's cracked pavement when you pulled out the taxi. You could hear the cicadas buzzing like some lazy warning in the trees. The house wasn’t anything special—single-story, flat-roofed, a tired porch with an ashtray full of cigarette butts and a half-drunk beer sweating on the railing.

Joel Miller opened the door before you even knocked.

He stood there, filling the doorway with the kind of broad-shouldered presence that made people pause without knowing why. Dark hair just starting to go silver at the temples, thick lines drawn deep around his eyes. He looked like someone who'd seen too much too young and learned to say very little about it.

“You’re the nanny?” he asked, one brow raised, voice low and sandpaper-rough.

You blinked once. “Unless you’re about to offer me a better job.”

A beat passed.

Then—something flickered in his eyes. Not quite a smile, but not not one either. He stepped aside and nodded. “Come on in.”

The house smelled like wood, sweat, and something faintly sweet—maybe cereal. You caught the faint rumble of a TV from down the hall, something animated and overly loud.

Joel shut the door behind you and scratched the back of his neck. “Look, just to get this out of the way... she’s a lot. Talks back. Doesn’t listen half the time. Last one didn’t even make it to lunch.”

You let your bag drop to the floor by the door and glanced up at him, your voice easy. “So she’s seven?”

He exhaled through his nose, maybe a chuckle buried in there somewhere. “Somethin’ like that. Sometimes she talks like she’s twenty.”

Just then, a blur of limbs and tangled hair skidded into the hallway.

“Is this another one?” Ellie stood with her arms crossed, surveying you like a bouncer outside a bar. “You look like you smell like soap and Pinterest boards.”

You raised a brow. “You look like you snuck a Sharpie snack and tried to hide it with your hair.”

She blinked. Then snorted. “Okay, that was pretty good.”

Joel glanced between the two of you. His hand landed on his hip like he was bracing himself for another trainwreck—but Ellie wasn’t running off. Wasn’t screaming. In fact, she was smirking.

He muttered to himself, “I’ll be damned.”

Tommy’s voice floated in from the front porch. “You ready or what?”

Joel grabbed his keys from the hook and looked at you one last time, almost reluctant.

“You sure you’re good with her?”

You shrugged. “I’ve babysat worse. One kid tried to throw a waffle iron at me.”

Ellie’s eyes lit up. “Did you throw it back?”

You gave her a conspiratorial grin. “Only metaphorically.”

Joel exhaled slow. Then nodded once.

“I’ll be back around five. If anything goes sideways... call me.”

You saluted lazily. “Got it, Captain.”

And then he was gone, the screen door clattering behind him as his boots disappeared down the porch steps. You turned back toward Ellie.

“So, what’s your plan, boss?”

She cocked her head. “I was gonna trap you in the laundry room, but now I kinda wanna see if you can beat me at Mario Kart.”

You grinned. “Loser makes the winner a snack.”

“You're on.”

And just like that, Ellie Miller had met her match.

The living room was dark except for the soft blue glow of the TV, set to some old cartoon playing on mute. Joel pushed the door open slow, bracing himself for the worst: broken dishes, yelling, or silence—that kind of silence. The kind that meant another nanny had packed up and left without saying goodbye.

His boots creaked against the floor as he stepped inside. "Ellie?"

No response. Not even the usual clatter of her throwing something across the room in rebellion.

He moved further in, already unhooking his keys from his belt loop, mentally rehearsing the apology he’d have to send to Tommy for wasting another referral.

But then he saw you.

You were curled up on the edge of the worn couch, feet tucked beneath you, the glow of the TV playing across your face. Calm. Like this was just a Tuesday. No blood. No chaos. No broken spirits.

Joel blinked, mouth parting slightly.

You turned when you heard him and offered a low, casual, “Hey.”

He squinted. “Hey? That’s it?”

You nodded, stretching your arms with a small yawn. “Kid’s knocked out cold. Upstairs. Brushed teeth, bedtime story, everything.”

He looked at you like you'd just told him aliens landed in the backyard.

"Wait—asleep? It's not even eight."

“Early start tomorrow. School.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Joel stepped into the kitchen without a word and opened the fridge just to give his hands something to do. The beer he’d left from the morning was still in there. He cracked it open, trying not to stare too hard at you over the rim of the bottle.

“I figured I’d walk into a war zone,” he muttered. “You didn’t run. Didn’t call. Didn’t leave a note taped to the fridge sayin’ you were done.”

You shrugged, leaning back a little. “Why would I? She’s a smart kid. Sharp. Just needs someone who doesn’t treat her like she’s stupid or fragile.”

Joel tilted his head at you, unreadable. “She usually eats nannies alive.”

“She tried,” you said with a smirk. “Came at me full sass by 3 p.m. I hit back harder.”

He let out a small grunt—maybe a laugh, maybe surprise. He took another sip of beer and looked toward the dark hallway like he still couldn’t believe Ellie hadn’t set something on fire.

“She was real quiet,” he said slowly. “When her mom left. Wouldn’t talk. Wouldn’t eat. Now she don’t shut up.”

“She talks a lot,” you agreed, smiling. “But she listens, too. If you speak her language.”

Joel leaned against the counter, arms folded. His voice softened a little, the tension loosening just enough to show through. “What, and you speak ‘ellie’ now?”

You shrugged. “I speak ‘chaos.’ Comes in handy with kids.”

For a few long seconds, he just looked at you. That quiet, heavy stare he had—like he was trying to see ten layers deeper than your skin.

Then, finally:

“You’re comin’ back tomorrow?”

You raised a brow. “Wasn’t planning on quitting. Unless you were gonna.”

A corner of his mouth twitched.

“No,” he said. “I think we’ll survive.”

You pushed up off the couch, grabbing your bag as you headed for the door. “Good. 'Cause she already asked if we could build a pillow fort after school.”

Joel walked you to the porch. The cicadas were still out. The street was still quiet.

You paused at the top step and turned back to him, eyes catching his in the porchlight.

“You’ve got a good kid,” you said.

He didn’t respond right away. Just nodded, slow. “She’s got a good shot now.”

And then you were gone.

But for the first time in a long time, Joel Miller didn’t feel like things were falling apart.

They might just be starting to fall into place.

The door swung open just as Ellie was kicking off her scuffed sneakers in the entryway, her backpack half-zipped and already sliding off her shoulder.

“Is she here yet?” she shouted toward the kitchen, her voice bouncing off the walls. “Dad! Is she here yet?”

Joel, standing at the stove with a dish towel over one shoulder, didn’t bother looking up. “Does it look like she’s here? Use your eyes, not your mouth.”

“But my mouth is faster!”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem.”

Ellie dropped her bag with a thud, already heading toward the front windows to check the driveway—just as your car pulled up.

“There!” she yelled, triumphant, sprinting back through the house like a tornado in fast-forward. “She’s here she’s here she’s here—!”

Joel had just turned down the burner on the skillet when the door opened, and you stepped in with the same relaxed confidence you carried like armor.

“Hey,” you greeted, a touch winded from dodging Ellie, who’d practically launched herself at you before you were through the door. “Did I miss the homecoming parade?”

“She’s been askin’ about you since the bell rang,” Joel said, nodding toward the hyper blur bouncing in your shadow. “Didn’t even want her snack. Which is how I know the apocalypse is near.”

“I saved my appetite,” Ellie declared proudly. “Dad made grilled cheese with bacon. He never makes grilled cheese with bacon.”

You raised a brow. “Is this a bribe, Miller?”

Joel shot you a look over his shoulder. “She’s been unbearable. Figure I earned the right to butter her up before I hand her over.”

“Smart,” you said, dropping your bag on the same hook as yesterday. “She’s got that post-school chaos energy. You should see what she did to the car ride playlist yesterday. Ruined Stevie Nicks forever.”

“I did not!” Ellie cried, whirling on you with wide, offended eyes.

“She put it on 1.25 speed,” you deadpanned. “Stevie Nicks sounded like a chipmunk with anxiety.”

Joel snorted, smothering the sound with a fake cough as he plated up the sandwiches. “You want one?” he asked you. “I made extra.”

You blinked, surprised. “You cook for the nanny now?”

“I cook for people who save me from losin’ my damn mind.”

You grinned. “Flattering.”

“I wasn’t tryin’ to be.”

You pulled out a chair at the table while Ellie dropped into hers, legs swinging under the seat. She was already talking a mile a minute about her day—some story about her science teacher and a broken Bunsen burner, a joke she told in front of the whole class, how everyone laughed (even the mean kids). She spoke with that spark in her voice again, the one Joel hadn’t heard in years. Not since before.

And you just listened. Asked questions. Teased her right back. Like it was easy. Natural.

Joel set the plate in front of you, still watching from the kitchen with a strange look in his eyes. Half guarded, half... something else.

“Thanks,” you said, catching his gaze briefly before biting into the sandwich. “Damn. This is actually good.”

He raised a brow. “You sound surprised.”

“I’m used to burnt toast and expired yogurts when I nanny for dads. This is, like, actual food.”

Joel just grunted and took his seat, digging in with a quiet shake of his head.

Ellie beamed between the two of you like she’d planned this entire lunch herself.

“So,” she said through a mouthful of bread and bacon, “after we eat, can we finish the pillow fort? I brought extra blankets from my room.”

“Only if we build defenses this time,” you warned, chewing thoughtfully. “Last night’s fort couldn’t have survived a sneeze.”

“That was a test run!”

Joel sighed, but he didn’t sound tired—more like resigned. A man accepting his fate. “You break anything, you fix it. That includes her,” he added, nodding toward Ellie.

“I’m unbreakable,” she declared proudly.

You caught Joel’s eye across the table.

“Yeah,” you said. “She is.”

And for a few quiet seconds, the three of you just sat there—sharing grilled cheese, half-smiles, and the smallest taste of something like peace.

The sun hadn’t even dipped below the horizon when Joel’s truck rumbled into the driveway, tires crunching over gravel. He was early—rare. The job site shut down sooner than expected, and Tommy had waved him off with a smirk that said, go home, see what you’ve been missing.

He stepped inside, boots already loosening, and heard it before he saw it.

Laughter.

Ellie’s, loud and unfiltered, practically vibrating through the walls. And yours, tangled with it, low and warm like the hum of a fire.

The house smelled like popcorn and something vaguely fruity—maybe bubblegum shampoo?—and as Joel rounded the corner into the living room, he paused.

Ellie was wrapped in a blanket on the floor, holding a flashlight under her chin like a horror movie cliché, while you crouched beside her, waving a sock puppet dramatically through the air.

“So then,” you were saying, voice low and ominous, “the terrifying Sockzilla sniffed the room and said... ‘someone forgot to flush.’”

Ellie howled with laughter, collapsing backward onto a pile of pillows, kicking her feet.

Joel leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, a slow smile creeping up without permission. You hadn’t noticed him yet. Neither of you had.

This wasn’t babysitting. Wasn’t even a job.

This was joy—something Ellie had stopped having for a long damn time.

“Sockzilla’s not wrong,” Joel said finally, his voice cutting through the laughter like gravel.

You looked up with a start, then grinned. “Hey. Didn’t hear you come in.”

“I noticed,” he said, stepping in. “Didn’t mean to interrupt the apocalypse.”

“You’re just jealous you missed chapter three: The Underwear Revolt.”

Ellie popped her head up from behind a pillow fort wall. “Dad, you’re early! Why?”

Joel shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Got lucky. Figured I’d beat the dinner rush.”

“You did,” you said, brushing popcorn off your knees. “I was just about to order pizza.”

Joel hesitated. For a half-second. Like the question had been sitting in his chest for a while now.

“You hungry?” he asked. “If you don’t got plans, I mean.”

You raised a brow. “You inviting me to stay?”

He shrugged, all rough edges and nonchalance. “Be a shame to kick you out before dinner. 'Specially after all the... sock trauma.”

Ellie was already nodding. “Yes, stay. Please. We’ll get the stuffed crust and everything.”

You looked between the two of them—the wide-eyed kid and the guarded man who, despite himself, was starting to open the door a little wider every day.

“Alright,” you said, settling back into the cushions. “But only if I get to pick the movie.”

Joel gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Long as it ain’t animated.”

Ellie gasped. “You love animated movies. Don’t lie.”

“That was one time—”

“You cried during Wall-E!”

“Everyone cries during Wall-E,” Joel muttered.

You just laughed. “Good to know I’m in excellent company.”

Joel shook his head, but the smile on his face lingered longer than it used to. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab plates, muttering something about “stuffed crust being a scam,” and Ellie launched into a detailed argument in its defense.

The sound of the tap running low and steady filled the space between you. The kitchen light hummed overhead, casting a soft golden glow across the sink. Joel leaned against the counter nearby, drying a plate with a towel he clearly didn’t intend to use efficiently.

Ellie had crashed hard—half-asleep on your shoulder during the last twenty minutes of the movie, mumbling something about “marrying a pizza slice” before you carried her upstairs with Joel trailing close behind, just in case.

Now the house was quiet again. The good kind.

You scrubbed at a stubborn streak of marinara on a plate, and he watched—hands busy, mouth quieter than usual.

Then, finally, his voice broke the silence.

“You ever think about teachin’?”

You blinked. “Teaching?”

Joel shrugged, rolling the dish towel and tossing it onto the counter. “You’re good with kids. Natural at it. Like you got this... translator chip in your head that turns all their nonsense into actual words.”

You laughed, rinsing the plate. “Is that a compliment?”

“It’s a rare one,” he said, voice dry. “Don’t waste it.”

You set the dish in the rack. “Honestly? I never planned on working with kids. Didn’t grow up thinking I’d be a nanny, that’s for sure.”

He watched you, brows slightly lifted. “Then how?”

You paused, thinking about how to phrase it. Your voice came softer now. “I had a little brother. Just a few years younger than me. Our mom was... not around much. And our dad was even less.”

Joel’s face didn’t shift, but something in his eyes tightened—quiet understanding. Shared terrain.

“So it was just the two of us most days,” you continued. “I’d cook, help with homework, break up tantrums... eventually you figure out what works. What doesn't. You learn when to joke and when to just sit next to 'em and let the storm pass.”

“Still sounds like teachin’,” he said quietly.

You smiled faintly. “Maybe. But I don’t like classrooms. I like people. One-on-one. The mess of it.”

Joel nodded, slowly. He reached past you to set a mug in the drying rack, his arm brushing yours—barely there, but it lingered just long enough to be noticed.

You didn’t move away.

He cleared his throat, voice lower now. “That brother of yours... where’s he now?”

Your hands stilled for just a second under the warm water. Then you shook your head, barely.

“Gone. Car accident. Years ago.”

Joel didn’t say sorry. He didn’t need to.

Just stood a little closer, like he was there instead. Holding the silence steady for you.

You glanced up at him—caught his eyes. Tired, thoughtful, always heavier than they let on. And for a moment, you saw it again—that thing underneath all his quiet. The grief. The grit. The fierce way he clung to the pieces that were left.

“You lost someone, too?” you asked.

He didn’t answer right away. Just nodded. Once.

Then: “Yeah. My other girl. Long time ago.”

Something settled between you—unsaid, but understood. Like a door had opened without either of you realizing it.

You reached for another plate.

“So,” you said softly, “two experts in surviving chaos walk into a kitchen…”

Joel gave a tired huff. “Sounds like the start of a bad joke.”

You grinned. “Might be. But so far, the punchline’s not half-bad.”

The last dish clinked into the drying rack, and you wiped your damp hands on a kitchen towel. The quiet had deepened into something different now—later, slower. Crickets outside the window. The kind of stillness that makes you notice things. Like how close Joel was standing. How neither of you had moved to say goodbye yet.

You glanced at the clock on the stove. “I should probably get going. It’s late.”

Joel shifted, like he’d been waiting for you to say it but didn’t love hearing it. His gaze flicked toward the hallway upstairs, then back to you.

“I’ll drive you,” he said simply.

You gave him a look. “I’m fine to wait for a taxi.”

“It’s late,” he repeated, like that settled it. “And Tommy’s swingin’ by in ten. I already texted him—he can keep an eye on Ellie till I’m back.”

You tilted your head. “So you planned this, huh?”

Joel just gave a small shrug. “Figured you might not argue.”

You didn’t.

The truck was warm from the afternoon heat, even with the windows cracked. The road stretched out in front of you in slow-moving darkness, the kind that hummed in your bones. Joel kept one hand on the wheel, the other draped loosely over the top of it, knuckles relaxed, thumb idly tapping against the worn leather.

Neither of you talked for the first few minutes.

Not because there was nothing to say—more like everything was sitting close to the surface, waiting to be picked at.

“You know,” you said finally, staring out the windshield, “this is the part where you usually find a way to ask more questions. Get to know me more. The classic ‘drive home’ move.”

Joel’s mouth pulled into a faint smirk. “That so?”

You nodded. “Yep. It’s the oldest trick in the book.”

He glanced at you sideways. “And you think I’m pullin’ tricks?”

You shrugged. “I think you don’t do anything without a reason.”

He didn’t respond to that right away. Just tapped his fingers against the wheel again, thoughtful.

Then: “Alright. What’s the book say I should ask?”

You grinned. “Favorite color. Deep childhood trauma. Last show you binge-watched. That kind of thing.”

Joel huffed under his breath. “Let’s skip the color.”

“Too intimate?”

He shot you a look. “You’re pushy.”

“And you’re avoiding.”

His smirk deepened, but he didn’t argue.

A beat passed. Then another.

“You really love her, don’t you?” he asked quietly, eyes still on the road.

You blinked. “Ellie?”

Joel nodded.

“Yeah,” you said. “She’s a good kid. Even when she’s being a pain in the ass.”

“She loves you, too. A lot.” His voice was soft now. Honest. “Didn’t think I’d see that again.”

You glanced over at him—at the weight behind that simple statement. He wasn’t just talking about Ellie.

“She needed someone,” you said. “Not a babysitter. Not a therapist.”

He didn’t say anything for a while. Just drove, the silence stretching and tightening like thread.

Then, as he pulled up in front of your place, he threw the truck in park but didn’t kill the engine.

You unbuckled your seatbelt, but didn’t move to open the door yet.

“Thanks for the ride,” you said.

“Yeah.” He looked at you for a second longer than he should’ve.

Then, low, a little hesitant: “You wantin’ to do dinner again sometime? When it’s not about Ellie?”

You paused, a beat of surprise flickering across your face.

He rubbed his thumb along the leather wheel, suddenly more focused on it than anything else. “Just figured... you already know where I live.”

You smiled. “Are you asking me out, Joel Miller?”

“Not if you’re gonna say no.”

You laughed under your breath. “I’ll think about it.”

Joel looked at you then—really looked. Quiet, steady, like he was filing away every part of your expression.

“I can wait.”

You opened the door, stepping out into the warm night air. But before you shut it, you leaned down again, one hand on the frame.

“Same time tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Same time.”

You closed the door gently and walked up the path to your front door without looking back.

But Joel stayed parked for another minute longer than he had to.

Just in case you did.

You were halfway through a lazy Tuesday—hair still damp from a late shower, curled up on the couch with a book you’d been trying to finish for months—when your phone buzzed.

[Joel Miller: You free today?]

Three dots hovered. Disappeared. Hovered again.

Then:

[Joel Miller: I know I said take the week, but this kid’s gonna make me lose my fuckin’ mind.]

You grinned, already picturing him rubbing a hand down his face, sitting at the edge of the couch while Ellie bounced off the walls behind him like a Red Bull-fueled goblin.

Another message popped up:

[Joel Miller: I’ll pay you, obviously. Just for a few hours. I owe you double if you get her to eat something green.]

You laughed and quickly typed back:

YouHow desperate are we talking?

[Joel Miller: She built a catapult in the backyard. From my rake, a lawn chair, and duct tape. I think she’s trying to launch the neighbor’s dog.]

A beat passed. Then:

[Joel Miller: Please.]

You shook your head, already grabbing your bag.

When you pulled up, the front door was wide open, and Joel was standing just inside it, looking like he hadn’t slept in a week.

“Hey,” you called as you walked up the porch. “Still got all your limbs?”

He stepped aside to let you in, exhaling like someone who’d just been handed a lifeline. “Barely. I had to confiscate a slingshot made outta a bra and a curtain rod.”

You smirked. “Ellie’s going through her ‘evil genius’ phase. It’s healthy.”

“Healthy for who?”

Then, from upstairs: “Is that her?! Did you bring snacks?! I’m starving and Dad tried to feed me something called ‘quinoa’!”

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose. “That was a salad, for the record.”

“I’m suing!”

You covered your mouth to hide a laugh. “You really thought you didn’t need me for a whole week?”

Joel gave you a long, dry look. “I was cocky.”

You tossed your bag on the usual hook. “You were delusional.”

Ellie came thundering down the stairs, socked feet sliding on the hardwood as she nearly collided with the bannister. She saw you and lit up like a goddamn firework.

“THANK GOD. I’ve been stuck with the grumpiest man on earth for three days.”

“I heard that,” Joel muttered.

She ignored him, grabbing your hand like she hadn’t seen you in a month. “We have so much to catch up on. Did you see the finale of the space show? I cried for like an hour. Also I have a new joke. Also I drew something that looks exactlylike Joel if he were a potato.”

You raised a brow. “Sounds like we’ve got a full schedule.”

Joel watched the two of you move toward the couch like you’d never left, like this was just another day in your rhythm. You and Ellie falling into step, heads bent together, conspiratorial and effortless.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You sure you don’t mind?”

You looked back at him over your shoulder.

“I do mind. But I like the paycheck. And the chaos.”

Joel’s lips twitched. “I’ll make you dinner again.”

“Deal,” you said without missing a beat.

And just like that, you were back—right where you were supposed to be.

The kitchen lights were dimmed low, just the warm underglow from the stove left on. You sat on one of the bar stools, elbows resting on the counter, a half-empty glass of water in front of you while Joel rinsed off the cutting board.

Ellie was upstairs with her headphones in, supposedly working on some drawing, but judging by how quiet it had gotten, you were 90% sure she’d passed out halfway through.

Joel reached for a towel and dried his hands slowly, glancing over at you.

“You always this patient with kids?” he asked, voice low and a little rough from the day.

You leaned your chin in your hand. “Only the weird ones.”

A smirk ghosted across his face. “So... all of ‘em?”

You shrugged, smiling. “Weird kids are the best kind. Smart enough to keep you on your toes. Emotional enough to make you question your sanity.”

Joel nodded, leaning his weight into the counter across from you, arms folded. “You ever get tired of it? Having to be the grown-up?”

You looked at him for a beat, something unreadable in your expression. Then:

“Sure. But then I hang out with Ellie and realize being a grown-up just means knowing when to pick your battles... and when to steal the last slice of pizza before a kid does.”

Joel gave a soft chuckle under his breath. He didn’t laugh often—not fully—but he was doing it more around you. You noticed. He knew you noticed.

“You took the last slice,” he said.

You raised an innocent brow. “I earned the last slice.”

“Could’ve split it.”

“That’s not how survival works, Miller.”

He looked at you then—really looked. Leaned just a little closer, elbows on the counter now, eyes darker in the low light.

“You always this mouthy after dinner?” he asked, a thread of something unmistakably flirtatious winding through the words.

You didn’t break eye contact. “You always this charming when you’re not pretending to be grumpy?”

His smirk deepened—but just slightly. Like he didn’t want to give too much away, not all at once.

“I’m not pretendin’.”

“Mm.” You took a slow sip from your glass. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Joel watched you for a moment longer, like he was weighing something behind his eyes. Something quiet and careful. You could feel it in the space between you, close but not crossing—yet.

“You got a ride home tonight?” he asked suddenly, casual but not really.

You gave him a slow smile. “Nope.”

“Good,” he said, pushing off the counter. “I don’t mind driving you.”

“I figured,” you said, your voice lighter now, teasing. “Since you texted me please earlier today.”

Joel paused mid-step, turning back with a dry laugh. “I was desperate.”

“You were cute.”

He shot you a look. “Don’t push it.”

You stood, grabbing your bag off the hook by the door. “No promises.”

As you stepped out into the night together, the space between you was quiet—but it buzzed with something new now. Something unspoken. And as Joel opened the truck door for you without saying a word, your fingers brushed his.

Neither of you pulled away.

The truck rumbled low beneath you as the tires rolled over the quiet neighborhood roads, streetlights blinking by in amber streaks. The windows were down just enough to let the night breeze in—soft and warm, thick with the smell of cut grass and sunburned pavement.

Joel’s left hand sat loose on the wheel, fingers tapping faintly to the beat of whatever old country song murmured low from the radio. His right hand rested near the gear shift, relaxed, steady.

You watched him from the passenger seat for a long moment, then turned back to the windshield.

“Can I ask you something?” you said, voice quieter than before. Less teasing. More... curious.

Joel didn’t look at you, but you saw the way his jaw tensed slightly. “You just did.”

You huffed. “Smartass.”

That earned you the faintest smirk.

A few more seconds passed before you asked it.

“Have you ever… tried to date anyone? Since Ellie, I mean.”

The question landed soft, but heavy. Not invasive. Just honest.

Joel didn’t answer right away. His hand flexed once on the wheel. Then he exhaled slow, eyes on the road ahead.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “A couple times.”

You didn’t rush him. Just waited.

“They didn’t stick,” he added, a little tighter now. “One of ‘em didn’t want a kid around. The other tried too hard to act like Ellie’s mom.”

You nodded slowly. “And Ellie?”

Joel’s eyes flicked to you, then back to the road. “She didn’t like ‘em. She never said it outright, but I could tell.”

You tilted your head. “How?”

“She got quiet. Moody. Didn’t talk to me for a few days after I had someone over once.” He gave a small, humorless laugh. “Think that was her way of votin’ someone off the island.”

You smiled faintly. “Smart kid.”

“Too smart,” Joel muttered, shaking his head. “She doesn’t trust easy. Doesn’t let people in quick. And when she does…”

He trailed off, his voice dropping quieter.

“When she does, she holds on tight. Doesn’t like change.”

You looked out the window, the dark sliding past like water. Then you spoke, soft but certain.

“She wouldn’t push me out.”

Joel’s hand paused mid-tap on the wheel.

You didn’t look at him. “I’m not trying to be her mom. I’m not trying to be anything, really. Except someone who actually sees her.”

Silence stretched between you—charged, thick, but not uncomfortable.

Then Joel said, “She does see you. More than you know.”

You turned your head. This time you caught him looking. Just a glance—but it lingered. A little too long.

“I think that’s what scares me,” he said.

You let that sit for a moment. Then, gently:

“You ever wonder if maybe... it doesn’t have to?”

Joel pulled into your driveway slowly, headlights washing over the front steps. The truck idled in the quiet, engine ticking softly.

He didn’t speak. Not yet.

Just sat there, fingers resting still on the wheel, like he was turning something over and over in his mind. Something fragile. Something real.

Then, low:

“Yeah. I wonder.”

Your hand brushed the door handle.

You didn’t move to open it yet.

Neither did he.

You watched him in the quiet.

His profile in the half-light—worn, strong, tired in the way only someone who’s carried too much can be. That little line between his brows when he was thinking too hard. The way his fingers stayed resting on the wheel like he hadn’t decided if he wanted to drive off yet—or stay.

Your mouth opened. Then closed.

Don’t say it, you told yourself.

You reached for the door handle, your voice low and a little softer than it had been in the truck all night.

“Thanks for the ride.”

Joel glanced over, eyes steady, unreadable. “Yeah. ‘Course.”

You hesitated a beat longer. Let the silence hold its breath.

Then you added, quieter—almost a whisper, but not timid.

“Before I say anything stupid.”

Joel’s gaze sharpened just a little. But he didn’t push. Didn’t ask. Just let you have your exit, same way he always did when you needed space.

You pushed the door open and stepped out, the warm night brushing your skin like a second thought. You didn’t look back, but you felt his eyes on you as you walked up the steps.

You reached the door, paused with your key in hand.

Then—just before you went inside—you turned back.

Joel was still sitting there in the truck. Still watching. Not driving off. Not letting go.

Then you slipped inside, the door clicking shut behind you, leaving the night quiet and the truck idling in your driveway—engine low, heart loud.

The bar wasn’t crowded, but it was loud enough to blur out the week behind you. Low music, dim lighting, the smell of cheap whiskey and warm bodies pressed too close to tables too small.

You were at the corner of the bar with a half-empty glass in front of you, one leg crossed over the other, the slow curve of a smile on your lips from some half-drunk joke your friend had just told. You weren’t really buzzed yet—but you were warm. Comfortable. Not thinking about work or tantrums or bedtime routines.

Which is exactly why the last voice you expected to hear behind you was his.

“Well, look at that,” Joel murmured, slow drawl just low enough to scrape across your skin. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

You turned, a flicker of something sharp and amused flashing through your eyes.

Joel stood there, casual as ever—but different. Not in a T-shirt stained with oil or dirt from the backyard. Not with a dish towel over his shoulder. No, tonight he was clean-shaven, sleeves rolled up, one hand tucked in his jeans pocket and the other resting on the edge of the bar.

Beside him was Tommy, already halfway through a beer, offering you a crooked, familiar grin.

“Hey,” he said. “Didn’t mean to crash the party.”

You shook your head slowly, eyes still on Joel. “Not crashing. Just unexpected.”

Joel raised a brow. “That good or bad?”

You leaned on your elbow, smirking faintly. “Guess I’ll let you know.”

Tommy snorted into his bottle and stepped away to give someone else a hug across the bar—leaving you and Joel standing just a little too close in the noise.

You tilted your head. “Where’s Ellie?”

“With Maria,” Joel said, sliding onto the stool beside you. “They’re doin’ some kind of sleepover thing. Face masks. Painted nails. That whole routine.”

You laughed. “Bet you’re relieved.”

Joel took a slow sip from the beer the bartender slid in front of him. “I am. She tried to paint my nails last weekend.”

“Should’ve let her.”

He looked at you then, over the rim of his glass, the corner of his mouth pulling up. “She said I’d look good in lavender.”

Your eyes narrowed just slightly, lips curling. “She’s not wrong.”

The music thumped low behind you, the chatter of the bar a comfortable hum around the edges. For a few seconds, it was quiet between you. Then:

“You look different,” he said.

You arched a brow. “Different how?”

Joel’s gaze dipped—just for a second. Over your bare shoulders. The dress you wouldn’t wear around Ellie. The slow confidence in your posture. The way you weren’t his nanny tonight.

“Just... different,” he said. Voice rough. Honest.

You leaned a little closer. “And you showed up to a bar instead of passing out in front of the TV with a beer and ESPN reruns. That’s new for a father.”

Joel chuckled, low. “Maria told us we needed a night out. She basically pushed us out the door.”

“Remind me to thank her.”

He looked at you again, longer this time. Like he was seeing the version of you that wasn’t just Ellie’s babysitter. Not just the calm in the storm.

The silence stretched—slow, charged.

You lifted your glass. “So what happens now? Do we pretend we don’t know each other that well, or do you ask me to dance and surprise the hell out of me?”

Joel didn’t smile—but he didn’t look away either.

“I don’t dance,” he said quietly.

You smirked. “Didn’t think you did.”

“But,” he added, tipping his beer toward yours, “I can buy you another drink.”

Your glasses clinked, quiet and deliberate.

And just like that, the rules shifted.

Tonight, you weren’t working.

The night was warm even inside the bar, and the music had shifted—something slow with a little twang, something with a beat that settled in your chest. You took another sip of your drink, then turned your body toward Joel, your legs crossed in his direction.

He was still watching the room like he didn’t quite trust it. Or like he was looking for an excuse to bolt before he said something he couldn’t take back.

So you leaned in closer, voice just loud enough to cut through the low thrum of the music.

“I think you’re lying.”

Joel’s eyes flicked to you, confused. “About what?”

“You do dance,” you said, grinning now. “You’re just too proud to admit it.”

He let out a small scoff. “I don’t.”

“You do,” you said, already sliding off the barstool. You held your hand out to him. “C’mon. It’s not a wedding. It’s not even a good song. Nobody’s watching.”

“I’m watchin’,” he muttered.

“Great,” you said, tugging him lightly. “Then you’ll have a front-row seat when I show everyone your two-step.”

Joel gave you that look—that tired, half-exasperated, half-amused look he usually reserved for Ellie when she roped him into something absurd.

But your hand was still out.

And his eyes lingered on it.

A beat passed.

Then he muttered something under his breath about peer pressure and stood, downing the last of his beer before sliding his hand into yours.

“Don’t expect twirls,” he warned.

“No promises,” you said, and led him out to the floor.

The bar wasn’t crowded, just a few couples swaying, the occasional off-beat shuffle. Nothing fancy. No one watching. Just you and Joel, the slow drawl of the guitar wrapping around the room.

He moved like he hadn’t done this in a long time—stiff at first, cautious—but his hand was steady at your waist, and the way he looked at you? Like there was no one else in the damn building.

You grinned up at him. “See? Not so bad.”

“Feels like middle school,” he muttered.

“I wouldn’t have danced with you in middle school,” you teased. “You would’ve been the kid standing against the wall with your arms crossed.”

He smirked. “I was that kid.”

“Exactly,” you said. “And now look at you. Livin’ the dream.”

The music played on, something slow and easy, and after a while his hand settled more naturally at your hip. You didn’t talk much. You didn’t need to.

Your chest nearly brushed his with every movement. Your fingers laced lightly with his. You felt his thumb draw the smallest circle over your side once. Just once. Like he didn’t mean to. Like maybe he did.

When the song ended, you didn’t move away right away. Neither did he.

You looked up at him, your voice softer now. “Told you I’d surprise you.”

Joel met your eyes—and for a moment, he didn’t say a damn thing.

Then, low:

“You always do.”

You left the dance floor still warm from the touch of his hand.

Joel trailed behind you, his fingers brushing the small of your back once before falling away. You made your way to the bar, ordered another drink—something colder this time, easier—and turned toward the front doors without a word.

He followed.

Outside, the air had dropped a few degrees. Still warm, but edged with something cooler. The kind of summer night that hinted at fall creeping closer. The street was quiet except for the neon bar sign buzzing above, and the distant hum of tires down the road.

You leaned against the brick wall just outside the door, drink in hand, eyes on the night sky. Joel came to a stop beside you, arms crossed loosely, his shoulder not quite touching yours.

“You do that often?” he asked after a few seconds.

You turned your head. “What?”

“Dance with strange men in bars.”

You smirked. “You’re not a stranger.”

He looked away, toward the parking lot. “Still.”

You took a slow sip of your drink, letting the quiet sit there for a moment.

“I don’t,” you said honestly. “It’s not really my thing.”

Joel glanced at you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “But you did tonight.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I did.”

His gaze didn’t leave yours this time.

“Why?”

You didn’t look away. Not now.

“Because you looked like you needed someone to pull you out of your own damn head.”

Joel huffed under his breath. “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”

“Won’t be the last,” you said, softer now.

Another pause. He shifted his weight, arms still folded, but his stance had softened. Less closed off.

You tilted your head slightly. “You ever think about what’s next?”

Joel looked over at you. “For what?”

“For you,” you said. “Ellie’s not a baby. She’s got school, friends. One day she won’t need a sitter.”

He gave a low grunt. “She’ll always need someone.”

“She has someone,” you said gently. “She has you. But you? I’m not sure you let yourself need anyone.”

His jaw worked at that, like the words caught somewhere between his chest and throat. “Don’t think I got the luxury of needin’ much.”

You stared at him for a beat.

Then, voice quiet but firm: “You do.”

He turned his head toward you, slow. His eyes found yours again, darker now, more focused.

The silence between you was loud. Louder than the bar, louder than the music. And when he spoke again, his voice was low, rough:

“You scare the shit outta me, y’know that?”

You blinked. “Because I speak the truth?”

He shook his head slightly. “Because I don’t know what the hell to do with it.”

Your hand slid down the side of your drink, the condensation damp on your skin. You looked at him—really looked.

“I’m not askin’ you to do anything,” you said. “I just... want you to stop pretending like this is nothing.”

Joel didn’t respond. Not with words.

But he looked at you like he’d been holding his breath for weeks. And maybe now, for the first time, he finally let a little bit of it go.

Joel still hadn’t looked away.

That silence between you had sharpened—not awkward, not empty, just full. Too full. The kind that vibrated between two people standing a little too close, not touching but thinking about it, both of them feeling the heat and pretending it wasn’t there.

You exhaled slowly and set your drink on the little ledge behind you. The words sat heavy on your tongue, but they came out smooth, low, like you’d been holding them in your mouth for days.

“But...” you started, and Joel’s eyes flicked up from your mouth to your eyes in an instant. Alert. Waiting.

“If I could ask you to do something…” You let the space between each word linger.

His jaw tensed.

You tilted your head just slightly. Your voice dropped to barely more than a whisper.

“…it’d be to kiss me.”

The moment cracked wide open.

Joel didn’t speak. Didn’t ask if you were sure. Didn't smirk or joke to cover it.

He just moved.

A slow step forward—then another. And then his hand was at your jaw, calloused thumb brushing the side of your face with aching care. His other hand came to rest at your hip, grounding you like he thought you might vanish.

Your breath caught—but you didn’t pull away.

“Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish,” he said, voice rough, eyes searching yours like this was some kind of line he couldn’t uncross.

You whispered back, steady and certain:

“Then finish it.”

Joel didn’t hesitate after that.

He kissed you like he’d wanted to for weeks—slow, deliberate, no rush, no panic. Just the weight of it. The truth of it. His mouth warm, the scrape of his stubble against your skin, his body pulling just slightly closer like he couldn’t help it anymore.

And when he finally pulled back, just enough to breathe, his forehead rested against yours. His hand didn’t leave your waist.

Neither of you spoke.

Because whatever this was—it wasn’t nothing.

And now, neither of you were pretending otherwise.

His forehead still rested against yours.

His thumb brushed your jaw, slow and warm.

And your heart? Your heart was making a damn scene in your chest.

You cleared your throat softly. “So... I guess that’s a yes, huh?”

Joel pulled back just enough to meet your eyes again—close, still too close—and gave the smallest smirk. “You asked.”

You nodded. “Right. Yeah. Technically. I’m very persuasive. It’s a gift.”

He raised an eyebrow, silent.

You tried to hold his gaze. Really, you did.

But your brain was suddenly short-circuiting, and before you could stop yourself, you were rambling—

“I mean, it’s good that you finally kissed me. I was worried I’d have to start making PowerPoints. Slide one: reasons Joel Miller is scared of his own feelings.”

He huffed a laugh. “You done?”

“Nope,” you said, suddenly aware your hands were still resting on his chest. “I’ve got a whole bit about emotional repression and denim.”

Joel blinked, caught halfway between a groan and a grin. “Jesus.”

“It’s not mean,” you insisted, your smile crooked and too wide now. “It’s... lovingly observational.”

Joel stepped in again, closer—too close—and the way he looked at you then, it shut your mouth right up.

“You always talk this much when you're nervous?”

You blinked.

“I’m not—” You stopped. Glanced away. “Okay, maybe a little.”

Joel tilted his head. “That’s cute.”

You raised a brow, mock-offended. “Cute? Don’t patronize me. I’m dangerously charming. Irresistible, even.”

He leaned in, his voice barely brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re somethin’, alright.”

Your breath hitched.

He pulled back, looking way too pleased with himself now.

“Shut up,” you muttered, trying to hide your grin as you stepped away, just enough to breathe again.

Joel smirked. “Didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, well, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m yours already.”

He didn’t answer. Just looked at you—quiet, steady.

And didn’t deny it.

Joel lingered by the bar long enough to finish his drink and pretend like he hadn’t just kissed you outside like it was something he’d been aching for. Which, well—he had.

Tommy leaned an elbow on the counter beside him, grinning like a man who knew something.

“You look like you just saw God,” he said.

Joel didn’t look over. “You drunk?”

“Not drunk enough to miss the fact that you disappeared for fifteen minutes and came back lookin’ like someone pressed ‘reset’ on your mood.”

Joel sighed into his glass. “Drop it.”

Tommy leaned in, low and smug. “You finally kissed her, huh?”

Joel shot him a glare. “Don’t.”

“Didn’t deny it,” Tommy sing-songed under his breath, grabbing his coat off the back of a chair. “Go ahead. Drive her home. I’ll pick up Ellie in the morning. Maria’s probably already got her tucked in with a facemask and a mug of hot cocoa.”

Joel stared at him. “You're enjoying this way too much.”

Tommy patted his shoulder as he passed. “Yeah. I am.”

The ride to your place was quieter this time—but not the awkward kind. It was weighted. Full of those glances that lasted a little too long. That barely-there smile at the corner of Joel’s mouth whenever you said something under your breath just to fill the air.

He parked outside your place, engine idling low.

You didn’t move right away.

You looked at him. “Wanna come in?”

He hesitated—just for a moment. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel once.

Then he turned off the ignition.

Your place was small—modest, lived-in. It smelled like coffee and linen and something faintly sweet, like citrus. There were books stacked in odd places. A few records on a shelf. One lamp in the corner of the living room casting soft amber light over everything.

Joel stepped in slowly, his boots quiet on the worn rug.

You kicked your shoes off by the door and shrugged off your jacket, voice easy. “It’s not much, but the roof doesn’t leak and the heat works, so I’m basically royalty.”

Joel gave a quiet chuckle, eyes roaming the room. “It’s nice.”

“You want water? Tea? Whiskey that tastes like regret?”

“Whiskey,” he said without missing a beat.

You poured two glasses—no ice, no hesitation—and handed him one. Your fingers brushed his again. This time, neither of you played it off.

You both sat down on the couch, a little too close, knees nearly brushing.

He looked around once more. “This feels like you.”

You tilted your head. “What does that mean?”

“Comfortable,” he said. “Warm. Kinda messy in a good way.”

You smirked. “So I’m a throw blanket with trust issues.”

Joel’s grin was subtle, but it stayed. He sipped the whiskey. “Maybe.”

For a long moment, you just sat like that. Close. Easy. Quiet.

Then you looked over at him, eyes a little softer.

“You could’ve said no, you know. To coming in.”

Joel met your gaze. Steady.

“I didn’t want to.”

Your place had gone quiet.

The whiskey sat mostly untouched now, the glasses forgotten on the coffee table. You were curled sideways on the couch, one leg tucked under you, facing him. Joel hadn’t moved much, but you could feel the shift—the way his attention had settled entirely on you, like the rest of the world had faded into background noise.

He hadn’t said anything in a while.

He didn’t need to.

Your voice came out soft, somewhere between playful and a whisper.

“You’re thinking too hard.”

Joel looked up, eyes catching yours. “No, I’m not.”

“Liar,” you said, smiling.

“I’m thinkin’ about how easy this feels,” he murmured. “And how that probably means it’s a bad idea.”

Your smile faded into something softer. “Feels easy because it is. Doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

He watched you for a beat—longer than he should’ve. The quiet between you changed again. Tighter. Warmer.

Then Joel said, low, like it was pulling itself out of his chest:

“C’mere.”

He didn’t reach for you first. Just waited.

So you moved.

Slowly, like a tide pushing forward—your legs uncrossing, your hand finding his shoulder for balance as you leaned into him, heart loud but steady.

And this time, when you kissed him, it was different.

No nervous laughter. No questions hanging in the air.

Just mouths meeting like they’d been circling the same answer for weeks.

Joel’s hand found the side of your face, rough and careful, the way someone might hold something precious without knowing how. His other slid around your waist, pulling you closer until your knees brushed his thigh and your chest pressed to his. You felt the low rumble in his throat when you deepened the kiss—part surprise, part surrender.

You shifted in his lap slightly, one hand finding the back of his neck, the other pressing against his chest, steadying yourself against the solid weight of him.

Joel kissed you like he’d forgotten how not to want you.

When he finally pulled back, it was only by a few inches—his breath warm on your lips, his hand still cradling the back of your neck like letting go wasn’t an option anymore.

You stayed like that, foreheads brushing, breaths mingling.

You whispered, “Told you you’d like lavender.”

Joel laughed under his breath—barely—but the sound was rougher now, lower.

And he kissed you again.

Slower.

Deeper.

Just want. And the start of something neither of you were going to keep pretending wasn’t there anymore.

The second kiss wasn’t shy.

Joel leaned in like he couldn’t wait anymore—like holding back had become unbearable. His hand slipped behind your neck, pulling you into him as his mouth met yours again, this time with no careful edges, no guarded tension.

Just need.

The taste of whiskey still lingered faint on his tongue, but it was overrun by something deeper—something that hummed in your chest when his mouth moved with yours, slow and sure. You let yourself melt into it, your fingers curling into the collar of his shirt, your knees brushing his thigh as you leaned in, chasing the warmth of him.

This wasn’t the kind of kiss that lived in hesitation. It was heat and breath and silence breaking open between you. His hand slid to your waist again, tugging you just a little closer, grounding himself in the feel of your body against his. You felt it in every inch of contact—how long he’d been holding this in.

You made a soft sound against his mouth without meaning to, and that was it—that was the moment something in him shifted.

Joel deepened the kiss, one hand tightening at your hip, the other threading into your hair as he tilted his head, breath catching as you moved with him. He kissed like a man who didn't get chances like this often—and wasn’t about to waste one now.

You pulled back only when the breathless ache hit your lungs, but even then, you didn’t move far. Your lips hovered over his, your forehead resting lightly against his.

“Joel,” you whispered, and his name in your voice sounded more like please than anything else.

His thumb brushed the corner of your mouth, like he could still feel the kiss there.

“You alright?” he murmured.

You smiled, flushed and bright-eyed, trying to keep your voice steady. “Yeah. Just… checking reality still exists.”

Joel huffed, his voice low and worn. “Still here.”

You touched your fingers to the collar of his shirt, idly brushing the fabric. “That felt like something we don’t walk away from.”

His hand stayed at your waist, thumb moving slow against your side. “I wasn’t plannin’ on goin’ anywhere.”

And without a word, you leaned in and kissed him again—slower this time, less desperate. Like it was yours now.

Like he was.

And this time?

He didn’t stop.

You were still pressed close, bodies tangled on the couch in the low light of your living room, mouths only barely apart. Joel hadn’t let go of your waist—his thumb still stroking slow circles against your side like he couldn’t stop touching you even if he tried.

And you, trying to find somewhere to put all that heat swelling in your chest, fell back on instinct: the joke. Your voice came out soft, a little breathless, still smiling. “Y’know, I think this means I’m officially sleeping with my boss.”

Joel’s breath hitched—just the smallest pause in his exhale—and you watched his face shift, something flickering behind his eyes.

Then he huffed a laugh, low and rough.

“Is that what this is?” he murmured, voice thick.

You grinned. “Well, technically, you hired me.”

He leaned in again, forehead almost brushing yours.

“And technically,” he said, tilting his head just slightly, “you’re not on the clock.”

“Mm.” You smirked, heart hammering. “Guess this is off-the-record intimacy, then.”

Joel made a sound in his throat—something between a laugh and a groan—and then?

He kissed you again.

Deeper this time. More sure. More greedy.

Like that dumb joke had snapped the last thread holding back the part of him that just wanted. His mouth met yours with no hesitation now, open and warm and intentional, and he kissed you like he couldn’t help it—like you being smart-mouthed and flushed and half-laughing under him was the most irresistible thing in the goddamn world.

You gasped softly against his lips, and he took that sound like an invitation, kissing you harder, one hand in your hair, the other guiding you closer until your body was all but in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling yourself in like the space between you had never existed at all.

He finally pulled back, just an inch, chest rising slow, his forehead against yours again.

“You keep talkin’ like that,” he rasped, “I’m not gonna stop.”

You smiled against his mouth, barely whispering, “That a threat or a promise?”

His mouth twitched.

And then he kissed you again.

Because of course he did.

He liked the way you teased him. Liked the way you said the wrong thing at the perfect time. Liked the way you didn’t try to make it smaller or simpler than it was.

And you?

You kissed him back like maybe, just maybe, you’d found someone who wanted all of you—bad jokes and all.

Your bodies moved through the small apartment like you’d been here a hundred times together, even though this was the first. Every touch was new and familiar all at once—slow kisses deepening with every breath, fingers finding skin like instinct.

Joel’s jacket hit the floor. Then yours.

He kissed you against the wall, hands bracing beside your head, your mouth parted under his as you laughed softly into it—nervous, breathless.

“Just so you know,” you murmured against his jaw, “I’m probably not some mind-blowing sex goddess. I mean, I could be, but there’s been very little peer review.”

Joel chuckled—low and warm, like gravel in his chest—and nipped gently at the corner of your mouth. “That right?”

You nodded, hands slipping under the hem of his shirt. “You, on the other hand, probably have war stories. Scars. Like... some kind of outlaw legend of Texas orgasms.”

That pulled a real laugh out of him. One that shook in his chest before he buried it against your neck.

Then he pulled back just enough to look at you, his voice rough, low, eyes darker than you’d ever seen them.

“Sweetheart,” he said, hands now at the hem of your shirt, sliding it up with slow, sure fingers, “you’re lucky if I last two seconds with you.”

Your breath caught, surprised—but your grin stayed.

He continued, words a little quieter now. Honest. Unapologetic.

“Truth is, I haven’t... gone this far with someone in a long time. Never let it get here. Not since Ellie came into the picture.”

Your voice softened. “Because of her?”

Joel nodded. “Because she didn’t like any of ‘em. Could feel it. Even when she didn’t say it. Also you can’t fuck someone in a house where a seven-year-old could walk in and ask why there's groaning on the couch.”

You snorted. “The ultimate mood killer.”

“Damn right,” he muttered, then leaned in, kissing you again—deeper this time, more urgent.

Your shirt came off. His followed.

Skin on skin now.

His hands were rough and reverent, moving slow over your sides like he was trying to memorize you. His lips trailed down your neck, his voice breaking a little as he added:

“Never gave myself the space to want like this. Not really.”

You stilled slightly, just for a breath. Your hands at his belt now, fingers fumbling—not from lack of skill but from wanting too much at once.

You looked up at him, eyes soft but steady.

“Then take it,” you whispered. “We’ve got time.”

Joel exhaled, voice low and tight.

“Yeah,” he said. “But I might still embarrass myself.”

You grinned, pulling him back down to your mouth. “It’s okay. I’ll write a glowing review anyway.”

He laughed against your lips.

And then there were no more jokes for a while—just heat, hands, and the sound of something breaking open between two people who had waited too long to let themselves want like this.

Joel’s mouth was on you again, breath hot against your neck as he backed you toward the bedroom—each step slow but heavy, weighted with the kind of want that’s been building too long to be gentle.

You were already bare from the waist up, his palms dragging over your skin like he needed to feel every inch or he’d lose his mind. The door clicked shut behind you, but neither of you stopped.

You tugged at his belt, breath ragged, but he caught your wrist before you could finish. Not to stop you—just to slow it.

“Not yet,” he said, voice hoarse.

Then he dropped to his knees in front of you.

Your back hit the bedroom wall as he pressed his mouth against your stomach, kissing lower—messy, open-mouthed, no restraint left. His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your skin, thumbs sliding under the waistband of your underwear, pulling it down slow.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured against your skin.

“Yeah,” you breathed.

He looked up once, eyes dark and focused. “Hold onto me.”

You barely had time to respond—his mouth was already on you.

Hot, open, hungry.

His tongue slid between your folds without hesitation, slow at first—like he was learning you by taste alone—then deeper, rougher, wet sounds filling the room as he buried his mouth between your thighs.

You cried out, one hand flying to his hair, gripping hard. Joel groaned at that—deep, from his chest—and pressed in harder, like your reaction lit something inside him he hadn’t felt in years.

His tongue circled your clit, lips sucking just enough to make your thighs tremble, then flattened against it in long, firm strokes. He devoured you like a man starving, like he didn’t give a fuck about finesse—just making you come.

And then his fingers joined in.

Two—thick, rough, his—sliding into you with a practiced curl, pressing right into that spot that made your back arch off the wall.

“F-fuck, Joel—”

“Yeah,” he growled, voice muffled by your skin. “That’s it. Give it to me, baby.”

You whimpered, hips rocking against his mouth, your hand still tangled in his hair as he fucked you with his fingers—fast, deep—his tongue never letting up on your clit, his other hand pinning your hip so you couldn’t escape.

Not that you wanted to.

You felt your body tightening too fast—an ache that had been simmering for weeks boiling over all at once, and he felt it. Pulled you tighter against his mouth, groaned again when you gasped his name.

“Come on,” he growled, lips slick.

You shattered.

It ripped through you hard and fast, hips jerking against his mouth, your whole body seizing around his fingers, pulse thundering in your ears. Joel held you through it—never easing up, never looking away. Just taking it.

And when you finally slumped forward, gasping, he pulled back slowly, fingers still inside you, watching your body twitch around them.

“You okay?” he rasped, mouth wet, voice rougher than you’d ever heard it.

You stared down at him, fucked-out and trembling, then managed a breathless smile.

“You... really weren’t kidding about the two seconds thing, huh?”

He grinned, slow and dangerous.

“Didn’t even fuckin’ start yet.”

And then he stood—tall, hard, eyes burning—and started undoing his belt.

Joel's pants hit the floor with a heavy thud, his hands already back on you—gripping your thighs, lifting you effortlessly, guiding you backward until your knees hit the edge of the bed. You dropped onto the mattress, legs open, body still pulsing from the aftershocks of his mouth and fingers.

He moved over you like a storm—pressing your legs open wider, dragging the tip of his cock through your slick folds, hissing through his teeth at how wet you still were for him.

“Jesus,” he muttered. “Look at you.”

You moaned under him, fingers gripping the sheets.

“Joel—”

“I got you,” he breathed, one hand sliding up your thigh, his other fist wrapped tight around the base of his cock as he lined himself up.

Then he pushed in.

Not fast. Not all at once. Just the thick head breaching you, then the slow stretch of him sliding deeper.

You gasped—hips twitching, breath catching sharp in your throat.

“Wait,” you whispered, voice a little cracked. “Just—just a second.”

Joel stilled immediately.

You felt the tension in his arms, the way his muscles locked down like he was holding himself back with everything he had.

“Fuck,” he groaned, voice tight. “You’re… tight as hell.”

You were full—so full—and not even all of him yet. He stayed buried halfway, his chest rising and falling hard as he leaned down over you, pressing soft kisses to your neck, your shoulder, your jaw.

“I’m not movin’,” he murmured against your skin, voice low and shaky. “Take your time. I’ll fuckin’ wait all night if I have to.”

His mouth dragged along your throat again—slow and hot—and he whispered between kisses, “You feel so good, baby. So fuckin’ good. Gonna lose my mind.”

You breathed him in—sweat and salt and something rawer—and let your hands slide up his back, nails grazing the hard lines of his shoulders. He held himself perfectly still inside you, but his lips never stopped—mouth on your pulse, then your jaw, your collarbone, whispering every filthy, reverent thing you never knew you wanted to hear.

You clenched around him, involuntarily, and he grunted—low and wrecked.

You smiled faintly, gasping, “You’re doing great for a guy who’s supposedly gonna last two seconds.”

Joel let out a strangled laugh, forehead pressed to yours.

“Say that again and I will come,” he growled.

You pulled his face back down to yours.

“Okay,” you whispered, voice hot against his mouth. “I’m ready now.”

And Joel pushed all the way in.

He bottomed out with a deep, shuddering groan—the sound ripped from his chest as your body took every thick inch of him, heat clenching tight around him.

“Fuck,” Joel hissed, voice ragged. “You feel—Jesus, you feel so fuckin’ good.”

You choked out a moan, legs wrapped around his waist, heels digging into his lower back like you wanted him even deeper.

“God, Joel—fuck me,” you gasped. “Hard. Don’t hold back.”

That was all it took.

His restraint snapped.

He gripped your hips with bruising force and pulled back—then slammed into you, rough and deep, the wet smack of skin on skin echoing through the small room.

You cried out, high and wrecked, arching up into him as his cock drove into you again and again, hard and unforgiving. He fucked you like he meant it—like it wasn’t just want, but need, years of it, buried under silence and control finally breaking loose.

“Fuck, that’s it,” he growled, mouth dragging against your ear. “You want it rough, baby? That what you’ve been thinkin’ about all night?”

You gasped out a laugh between moans, nails scraping down his back.

“I’ve been thinking about this every damn night,” you spat, eyes rolling. “That thick fuckin’ cock—stretching me open—you owning me.”

Joel let out a deep groan at that, hips slamming into you faster now, the rhythm brutal.

“You like gettin’ ruined, huh?” he muttered, breath hot on your throat. “Filthy little mouth but takin’ it so goddamn well. So fuckin’ perfect.”

“Yes,” you moaned. “Fuck—yes, Joel, fuck me. Make me come. Don’t you dare stop—”

He reached down between your bodies, fingers slipping over your clit, rubbing tight, fast circles, already knowing how to break you apart again.

“I’ll give you what you fuckin’ asked for,” he growled. “Gonna make you scream my name.”

And you did.

Your orgasm hit like fire—white-hot, sudden, unstoppable. You screamed for him as your body locked up around his cock, every nerve on fire, vision blinking out for a second like your brain couldn’t keep up.

Joel didn’t let up. If anything, the sound of your climax just pushed him over the edge.

“Fuck—gonna come,” he choked, fucking you through it, harder, faster, mouth open against your throat. “You’re so fuckin’ tight, I can’t—shit—baby—fuck—”

He slammed in deep one last time, his hips jerking against you as he came hard, spilling into you with a guttural growl, body shaking above yours.

It was raw—sweaty, breathless, every nerve buzzing.

He didn’t pull out right away.

He just stayed there—buried deep, panting, his weight braced on trembling arms, forehead against yours. His chest rose and fell against your breasts, hot skin slick with sweat.

“Holy fuck,” you breathed, laughing, wrecked. “Joel.”

He huffed, his voice a low rasp. “Don’t say my name like that unless you want round two.”

You smiled, wild and breathless.

“I do want round two.”

Joel kissed you—messy and hard—then whispered:

“Next time, I’m takin’ you apart slow. And you’re gonna beg.”

You’d let him.

Joel was still inside you, still breathing hard, still trying to recover—but you weren’t done. Not even close.

He was braced over you, chest against yours, lips brushing your jaw as he whispered some broken, half-lost Jesus Christ,like he couldn’t believe how good that had been. But your legs were still wrapped around his waist. Still holding him in. Tight.

You shifted under him, hips rolling up just slightly.

Joel groaned deep in his throat, already twitching inside you.

“The hell are you doin’?” he rasped, voice wrecked.

Your mouth brushed his ear, your voice low, hot, electric.

“Taking what I want.”

Then—you moved.

With one fast, strong shift of your thighs, you flipped him, using the leverage of his dazed body and your locked legs to roll him onto his back. He let out a grunt of surprise, arms falling open beside him as he hit the mattress.

You were already sitting up, straddling his hips, hands pressed to his chest, sweat-slick and flushed with that fucked-out glow. His cock was still inside you, already hardening again as you ground down, slow and deliberate.

Joel’s head fell back against the pillow with a growl, one hand dragging down his face.

“Fuck, woman—gonna kill me.”

You smirked, rocking your hips with dangerous purpose. “That’s the idea.”

His hands flew to your hips like instinct, trying to ground you—but you caught his wrists and pushed them back down to the mattress.

“No,” you said, breath hot. “I’m in control this time.”

Joel looked up at you—sweat-damp curls, lips parted, eyes blown wide with want—and nodded once, jaw tight.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Fuckin’ take it, then.”

And you did.

You started to ride him—slow at first, teasing, letting your body take him inch by inch again, grinding down in smooth, wet rolls that made his fingers twitch against the sheets.

“Look at you,” you murmured, rolling your hips deeper, nails dragging down his chest. “Big, bad Joel Miller—ruined underneath me.”

“Keep talkin’,” he growled, hips jerking up into you. “You know how fuckin’ filthy that mouth is?”

“I could stop,” you teased, breath heavy, leaning forward until your lips brushed his.

“You stop,” he hissed, “and I flip this fuckin’ bed.”

You moaned, loud, loving the way his voice cracked. The way he twitched inside you every time you clenched around him, teasing just enough to keep him right there—almost at the edge, but not quite.

You bounced harder, pace slamming down now, his cock thick and perfect, stretching you all over again, even better the second time.

Joel groaned, deep and wrecked. “Ride me, baby—fuck, that’s it. Take all of it.”

You leaned back, hands on his thighs, giving him the full view—your body slick with sweat, tits bouncing with every grind, lips parted, hair wild. His eyes were locked to the way you moved on him. The way you owned it.

“You love watching me fuck you like this,” you gasped.

“Yeah,” he snarled. “I do. Look at you. Fuckin’ perfect.”

You slammed down harder, faster—no rhythm now, just desperate, chasing that edge again.

Joel’s voice broke. “You gonna come again on my cock? Gonna soak me while you fuckin’ own me?”

“Yes,” you cried, hand flying to your clit, rubbing fast as you rode him, your body screaming for release.

Joel sat up at the last second, arms locking around your waist, slamming into you from beneath.

“Then come,” he snarled into your mouth. “Now.”

You screamed—his name, something filthy, something helpless—as your orgasm ripped through you again, harder this time, shaking, collapsing against his chest while your cunt milked him, spasming tight.

Joel swore loud, hands grabbing your ass, his hips jerking up into you as he came again—deep, hot, full—growling into your neck as you both clung to each other like the world might break if either of you let go.

You stayed like that. A tangled, gasping mess.

Until Joel leaned back, voice wrecked and satisfied and a little in awe.

“Well,” he rasped. “Remind me to piss you off more often.”

You grinned against his neck, body still trembling, utterly wrecked—and completely in control.

“Careful,” you whispered. “I’m just getting started.”

The room is still heavy with heat and breath when the silence cracks again—this time, your voice, a little raspy, a little smug, cutting through the aftermath like a blade laced with teasing.

You shift lazily on top of him, still straddling Joel’s lap, still warm and full of him. His chest is rising and falling beneath you, arms relaxed behind his head like a man utterly destroyed.

And you grin.

“Gotta say,” you murmur, dragging your fingers lightly over his chest, “you’re setting a dangerous precedent for how you treat your nanny.”

Joel huffs a laugh—dry and low, eyes still half-lidded, but that smirk returns. Slow. Dangerous.

“You know damn well this ain’t part of the job description.”

You lean down, your hair brushing his face, lips grazing his jaw.

“Really?” you murmur. “Because I’m feeling pretty compensated.”

Joel grabs your hips again, firm, but lazy. “You keep talkin’ like that, and I’m gonna add another round to your fuckin’ workload.”

You laugh into his neck, breathless. “Overtime?”

“Hell yeah,” he says, voice gravel. “But next time, I’m the one in charge again.”

You bite his shoulder, just enough to make him grunt.

“We’ll negotiate.”

He rolls you under him in one quick move, still grinning like a man who hasn’t smiled this much in years.

“You’re lucky I don’t put that in writing,” he mutters, kissing you again, slow now. “You’re the worst fuckin’ nanny I ever hired.”

You sigh dramatically against his mouth. “Well. You’re the best dad I’ve ever fucked.”

Joel chokes on a laugh and drops his forehead against your shoulder.

“Jesus Christ.”

And neither of you stop smiling.

[planet-dusk]

cw ; oral, degradation, sexting ig?, dirty talk abt threesomes and exhibitionism, name calling: slut, pet names: angel ( 639 w. )

minors dni. for mature audiences only !

strands of minho's dark hair stand up straight from your relentless tugging, your hands now clenching restless around the edge of the kitchen counter.

"please, minho — " you moan at another sharp suck of his lips around your clit, his cheeks dusted pink with arousal. "we have to stop. what if jisung walks in?"

"idontfuckingcare."

he cants your hips to bury his face deeper between your legs and you notice he's got a smidge of pudding on his cheek. the rest of the dessert sits next to you, long discarded in favor of something tastier.

"b-but i do," you counter weakly.

"is that so?" minho finally sits back on his haunches and locks eyes with you. there's a mischievous glint to his eyes. it makes your blood sing with arousal and anticipation.

"because i know you care. i think you'd like for him to walk in on us."

your eyes widen in shock, the sudden heat rising to your face feeling like it'll burn the skin right off. you open your mouth to protest but minho's faster —

"don't lie to me, angel," he chuckles. "i can see the way your pussy clenches."

if you thought your face couldn't get any hotter than this, you were wrong.

minho rises to his feet, the sweet siren call of your pussy momentarily forgotten now he's hooked his claws into this little secret of yours.

he wasn't supposed to know. how did he…?

"you want him to watch, don't you? want him to see how well i fuck you." minho's lips are so close they're almost touching the shell of your ear, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your thighs. "you want to see how desperate he'd get when watching you stretch around my cock like the good slut you are."

your breath hitches in your throat and minho knows he's got you. hook, line and sinker.

"and you're just as desperate to give him a good show, aren't you? come on, open your pretty mouth."

you oblige without thought and minho pushes two fingers in deep, pressing down on your tongue and making you gag around them. he holds them there for a moment to watch your struggle before bending in close again. his breath tickles against your skin and you shiver.

"bet you'd let him fuck this tight cunt. he wouldn't even have to beg for it."

although his fingers slide in with ease the stretch still surprises you, the mild sting bleeding into a dull pleasure at the curl of his digits.

minho whistles. "you're this soaking wet just from thinking about fucking my best friend?"

you're too embarassed to look him in the eye, but whimper nonetheless when he pulls his hand away and sucks his fingers clean. it leaves you feeling aching and empty.

"what… what are you doing?"

minho retrieves his phone from his back pocket and waves it in front of you.

"i'm sending a voice message."

you swallow your reply as he presses the recording button on the screen.

"hey jisung-ah, you want some dessert? i have leftovers."

"minho!" you slap his arm and he chuckles, holding the phone out of reach. it only takes a few seconds for it to ding. your chest tightens in anticipation when he opens the chat, revealing jisung's text.

is this a threat? did i buy the wrong pudding?

minho smiles and leans in, brushing his soft lips against yours in a tender kiss. you blink up at him, puzzled by the sudden gesture. then his fingers pinch your clit. a jolt of pleasure shoots up your spine and a loud, whimpering moan tumbles from your lips.

minho's grin widens and he presses send. then he pushes the recording button again, the fingers of his free hand slipping down and sinking home with practiced ease.

who said anything about pudding?

© planet-dusk reposting, copying and translating my works is prohibited.

[ridingtorohan]

hey!! i saw ur recent post about the tulpar crew walking in on reader touching themselves, could u do the same but vice versa?

Ask and ye shall receive!

𓇻 ft. tulpar crew x gn reader

�� content. 18+ content, minors dni. possible second hand embarrassment. masturbation, sexual propositions, the whole shebang. this is a sequel to this post. this one can definitely be read on its own though. lightly implied that reader didn't accept swansea or daisuke's offers in the prequel but that can be left up to interpretation. jimmy's definitely happened though.

𓇻 enjoy! feel free to like, reblog, or send in asks!

‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎Masterlist - Want to Join my Taglist?

Curly is just so damn tired. Tired of the reports, faxes, checking the straps in the cargo bay. One of the few downtimes he gets is when he can sit and watch the constellations pass on the common room monitor. The Augira, Constantine and Mitena were all ones that he recognized from this sect of the system, all penned from the eyes of Saturn and further.

Movies are a scarce commodity on the screen, given Jimmy's track record of not wanting to hook the systems up, but it helps him nod off most times.

Working out, though? Working out he can do. Pony Express has given him permission to bring his weights on board, alongside a slew of magazines and audiobooks to listen to.

While Curly doesn't think of himself as a gym rat, those moments to himself are some of the best. Nothing but the burn of iron, the strain of his muscles with each rep. It's methodical work, one that sets his mind at ease and off of reports for once.

Some days, he can get Jimmy in on the action, but most of the time his co-pilot bemoans it. Each time they worked out, the stretches between the next session grew longer.

He's pleased when you agree to attend a few sessions with him. By then, it's almost amicable between you two, as if him walking in you didn't even happen. He's very much acted the part of a dutiful captain, though, he can't help his own eyes from wandering when he sees you stretch. Can't help himself from putting his hands firmly on you when he goes to correct your stance. It doesn't linger, doesn't wander, but goddamn, does he wish he could throw propriety out the window.

It's after one of his solo workout sessions when he chooses another way to unwind. Really, that's the only explanation for it. One that he tells himself anyway, because the strain of propriety is heavy. If he still thinks of you from time to time, if your face crops up in his thoughts while he touches himself, that's his business.

The only places you'd catch him in the act is either in the bathroom or his room.

Curly has always been imaginative, thoughts trailing to roads not travelled, paths that burn out of sight. Of you, sprawled out on the bed, and how he wished he had stayed. How he'd have given anything to hike your legs over his waist and kiss you senseless when he slid against you.

As it always is, every fantasy comes to an abrupt end. Every night that he had dreamed of walking in to find you waiting, you found him. Wifebeater drenched in sweat, towel draped over his shoulders, every line of his well built body on display, hand fisted around his cock.

There's a difference between wishing you'd walk in on him and actually receiving it.

A painful, terse moment lingers between you two, tension so thick he swears he can cut it. His hand completes the motion, wiping from his base to the tip, each breath deep. Despite how uncomfortable he felt (for more than one reason), he also felt more prepared. "Hold on a minute." He'll cover himself, boxers and uniform hiding himself from view.

If you believe you could flee from the room without Curly following you, you're dead wrong. He'll track you down, put this to bed once and for all. He'll catch you, half-dressed in his uniform, blue workwear draped around his waist, hand against the wall. "We have to talk about this."

Regardless if you stay or leave, not talking about it is no longer an option. You've both seen more of each other than was warranted, then what you both signed up for, but dammit he wants this. And he's so tired of shying away from things that he wants. From the person that he wants. All because of some higher-ups sitting cozy back home saying that it's wrong to do. He can't do it anymore, not when he feels like he's on the cusp of something great for once in his life.

"I know that what happened isn't what either of us expected," he'll start, voice low and perhaps far too sensual to be appropriate considered his half-dressed state. "And frankly, we can keep it to ourselves, pretend we never saw it." Biting the bullet is one of the fewest things he's done in life, but this is something that he wants to do. By fractions, Curly leans in closer, his voice entering a low murmur. "But... it doesn't have to be. We could give each other a.. hand, so to speak."

Routine. That's one thing that the Tulpar is good at. Routine. Each meal time, the rigid necessity of clocking in and out on time, even bathing. Pony Express may be a shit machine but it's well oiled, worked raw by the people under it. Delivering the payload is a smooth easy task because they all work on it together.

Part of that routine is shift work. Jimmy, ever the night-owl, works evening and night shift. This makes it so incredibly easy to avoid him if you wanted, especially since he walked in on you tending to yourself.

But he doesn't let you forget it. Since that moment, there's a smoldering heat in his gaze, eyes hooded as he watches you go about the room. Watched as you did your tasks, always standing too close - enough that you can get a whiff of his woodsy cologne, or feel his arm against yours.

He's almost helpful, even when your tasks really don't necessitate the need for another. His hands linger, hot against your uniform, his hips against the back of yours whenever he steadied you, or reached above you. Each word a rumble in his throat.

Except there's never really any change to talk to him about what happened. Not when every moment is tense, fraught with unresolved desires and need. Not when Daisuke or Curly walk into the room, silencing the burning questions and words that haunt your lips. Jimmy seems especially disgruntled about the interruptions, getting almost snappy towards the other crewmembers.

All in all, you rarely have a moment to speak with him. It's the furthest thing from your mind when you step out of the shower, more than eager to collapse face first into bed and sleep the weariness away.

If you're the sort to bring clothes into the washroom to change into, the absence of them is noted fast. No amount of scrounging around turns them up either. At a loss, it's to your sleeping quarters to wrangle up something else to wear.

Except you're very much not alone the second you step into your door. The door swishes behind you but you're effectively grounded, eyes drawn to the man lounging on your bed.

His head is tilted, messy hair falling across his hooded eyes, a dark and smoldering look to them. A slow stretch of a smirk crawls across his face, a pleased look darting into his eyes.

Jimmy is just as bare as the day he was born, an arm languidly thrown over your pillow. A leg bent up, not at all coy about having himself on display. His other arm is resting against his thigh, one hand smoothing along his flushed cock in a slow, slick motion. His fingerstips are all but slathered in precum - or actual cum, as you might suspiciously think when you look at your clothes haphazardly thrown onto the floor, looking sticky.

"There you are. Took you long enough." He breathes out your name, chin tilted upward, something primal lurking deep in his eyes. Jimmy clicks his tongue, ever the disapproving copilot. "You should know better than to keep someone waiting." Despite the curt, wanting tone to his words, he doesn't move towards you. Letting you go to him. Like he knows you will.

"I've been thinking," each word is low and deep, husky in his mouth. Jimmy's hand very much doesn't stop moving, stroking himself as you're rooted to the spot. Whenever you glance down between his thighs, his smirk deepens. "That you owe me for what I did for you."

It's not like you could dance around the topic forever; each touch, every interrupted conversation, it all would have culminated to this. Jimmy waiting for you, eager to put his hands back on you, to feel you tremble and shudder beneath him as he pulls you apart.

The thing was, you realize, it'd be terribly easy to leave him here. To not respond to his advances. The door was to your back and even Jimmy had enough sense not to walk out nude in pursuit of you. It'd be easy to walk to another crewmate's quarters and pilfer clothes. It'd be laughed off, brushed under the rug just as another incident, excused as you being unable to enter your room because of 'technical difficulties'.

The thing is, though, you can clearly remember how his hands felt, the way he moved. How Jimmy watched you with the same intensity now, his eyes a dark promise of a repeat experience, if not more.

You don't really want to refuse such an offer, do you?

Try as Anya might, she can't get the image of you out of her head. The sounds you made, how your hands moved. She'd tried to be civil, though how quickly she averts her gaze and fidgety hands betray how much it affected her. Nerves, she'd try to excuse it. Nothing ever related to you, of course, because that sounds too much like blame. She blames herself for walking in on you masturbating, and blames herself for wishing that she hadn't left.

But by god, did it make her needy and so sexually frustrated. She's found every excuse under the sun to touch you then jerk back, at war with herself. She has to act professional. Doesn't she?

Something about you, seeing you like that, had coiled something burning inside of her. Something hot, that festered low in her gut.

For the most part, she can act professional. Mostly. But she can only get so far from letting her eyes trace your silhouette, from sitting on her leg whenever you talk to her. It's risky business, even riskier when she decides to keeps a few tokens of yours. Things that smell like you, even distantly - papers, a bracelet. Things that you've lent to her before.

It's been a while since she got laid, since she's even been attracted to anyone. But something about you just sets her on fire, burning with want and need. She needs you like she's never needed anyone before.

Realistically, Anya knows it's because of the forbidden nature; because of the close proximity day in and day out, but there's something so tantalizingly beautiful about it too. She's a sucker for it.

One of her favourite places to get off is in the medbay; she can lock herself in it - but she doesn't. Because it's so much more tantalizing when she thinks about you walking in. When she thinks about pressing you against the desk and using her medical expertise on you. She wants to hear you - taste you - feel you. Is that too much to ask for?

That's exactly where you catch her. Her breath coming out in hot breaths, eyes shut tightly, uniform pulled open. It'd be so easy to mistake it for something else, such as the room being hot - if it weren't for where her hands were.

One has all but ridden up her shirt, rolling the peak of her breast between her fingers. The zipper has gone all the way down to her waist, one hand curled tightly in her underwear, motions jerky as she fingers herself.

Every inch of her wishes that it was you, your fingers working her over, touching her clit and prodding at her walls. She feels so close, having edged herself for a bit until you came in.

It was just to ask her her input on supper, or for a nonsensical question that very well could have waited for another moment.

The door swishes shut behind you and her eyes flutter, dark as she looks up at you, flush all but crawling up her neck.

Seeing how you look at her - how you came to look for her- needing her for something, a question halfway on your lips - and it's her undoing. She moans your name, guttural and hoarse, hips jerking, dripping over her knuckles. "Wait-" Singlehandedly one of the better orgasms she's had, better than when she pined endlessly.

When her senses come back, Anya is breathless and shaken - and you're long gone.

She's not letting you go this time. Not when a new, burning question lodges inside her. Did you like what you see? Did you wish you weren't there?

Anya approaches your door at night, knocking crisply and when you grant entrance, she stands there, the atmosphere almost palpably awkward. She takes a few steps closer, feeling flighty and desperate, eyes searching your face, whispering your name.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she whispers, voice low in the room, nerves biting at her throat. She can't not know anymore. "But I'm... glad that you did."

"Is this.. tension between us all in my head, or, do you want me too?"

It's one thing after the next. Couplings came loose, Daisuke's homework is not up to par, the lightbulbs need to be changed but no one seems capable of doing it. It all amounts to a sort of frustration winding up in him. Swansea has enough grace not to lash out at anyone, but it's there, palpable in his tone.

By some saving grace, you're willing to help him out with his work. Passing over screwdrivers and wrenches, new copper wire as he needs it. Swansea has noticed that you're attentive and eager like that; willing to help. Sometimes, he really wished you were his intern instead of Daisuke, not that he blames the kid.

He really needs a damn beer.

Wanking out his frustrations as a teenager and young adult had really suited him just fine, and with each passing day, it becomes a far more likely possibility.

It surely does not help when every little moment with you feels charged. Knuckles brushing when you supply him with mechanic tools, or when his arm brushed against your thigh as he steadied the ladder for you.

Swansea finds his gaze lingering.. on how your uniform bunches, the sway of your walk, the excited chatter to your tone when you've launched into some spiel or other. Each look he gives you is in quiet contemplation, though perhaps not as obvious as to why.

He's long since brushed off your curious questions.

It's when Anya outright slipped and fell over an oil spill that Swansea called it quits. There's only so many small annoyances that he could take before it became a hazardous snowstorm.

After it's suitably cleaned, he tried to find a place to tuck himself away. Keyword: tried. Something else always needed to be fixed, and he had enough years under his belt to know the ins and out of everything. Leaky faucet? Hold his glass. Vaccuum given up? He's got it. Curly, goddammit, he has it.

It's so grueling to find a moment of peace, so he takes what he can. That just so happened to be in the utility room, frustrations to a boiling point.

He knows his body, knows just the right way to stroke himself, the perfect amount of pressure. Learned it long since his youthful days, since his amicable divorce from his wife. Sure, it might feel mechanic at a certain point, but to him, it was a small reprieve. A getaway that only booze came close to.

Foreskin pulled back, his head is tucked low, eyes heavily lidded, fingertips pressing under the tip of the head just like he likes.

Swansea has himself sticky with precum when the utility door rattles and open. "Swansea, I found your keys-"

His eyes track up, eyebrows raised. Whatever hasty attempt you may have made, it's blocked by the aging mechanics of the utility door. It's from an older rig, one that still uses keys instead of the security bars that the medbay and cockpit use. Which means it's faulty as shit.

He sighs, head tipped back, eyes still on you. "That's on me for not leaving a sock out there," he grumbles, voice gruff and husky. A reference to how he told you to ward off people when he caught you masturbating earlier.

Moving his hand from his cock, his gaze is surprisingly steady, arm draped against the back of the chair. "Listen, kid, I won't say shit about this if you don't. Keep it jammed tight better than a olive jar when making margaritas. But." He rolls his neck, feeling a satisfying crack run through him. "I can show ya a few things that the ole cap' or other men won't, if yer interested."

Daisuke has been, for lack of a better word, edgy around you. Hovering, then trying to create distance. He can't seem to decide how to act around you. Not when he's seen you that way, pleasuring yourself. When he wishes you'd involve him.

He's seen plenty of naked people before, got hard over them, but wow, did you take it to the next level. Even how you tilt your head or roll up your sleeves has him in an outright tizzy, straining hard in his pants.

Daisuke often has to excuse himself from your presence. Ignoring Swansea's rolling eyes and knowing scoffs is easy; ignoring you is harder.

It's during one of those mundane tasks, where you're prattling about your work to the others, his eyes glued to your form, absorbing every word that he can't take it anymore. Excusing himself, he pops right out of the room, awkwardly striking towards his bunk.

But of course that is the exact moment you decide you need to return his gameboy - or comic, or whatever he had lent you a few weeks prior.

Daisuke is completely in the groove, pants folded down, back propped to the wall, knees folded and lips parted with each heavy breath. He's always been loud, noisy and boisterous. But his saving (and falling) grace is that he's also often playing movies in his room, and what muffled sounds you may hear from the other side of the door is easily chalked up to that. (Or perhaps, you knew.)

You catch him like that, hand fisted around his lean cock, shirt ridden up over his stomach, his movements sharp and jerky. It's bad enough that you walk in on him like this - but another to hear Daisuke rattle out your name, the sound breathy and full of want coming from his lips.

He's a poor, flushed mess, eyes wide when he looks up at you - and it's so plainly obvious to the both of you that he didn't call out because he heard you come in.

"I- I can totally explain." Except he really can't, can he, when he has his dick in his hand, just moaning your name literally seconds ago.

Any attempt to backtrack out of the room will be greeted with a hasty, "Oh my god, no, pleasewait!" As he all but tries to leap from his bed, tripping over his pants in his haste to get to you. Daisuke is nothing but determined and will try to talk to you about this, even if you manage to successfully flee.

Choosing to stay has him utterly red-faced, almost ashamed as he rambles through a tirade of, "Okay, so," punctuated by repeated, stumbled phrases before he manages to get out, "So, me calling out your name just now - total accident. Unlessyoudon'twantittobe? But, like, I definitely understand if you want to leave but I'dreallyratheryoustaybecause I really can't stop thinking about you and, - oh hey, is that my gameboy? You can just set it-- that's not important! I just. Really don't want you to leave. Please."

[isasweetie]

rafe accidentally making a habit out of slapping bsf!readers ass and it becomes normal for them but he does it at a party or smth and nobody else thinks it's normal

ugh yes like it’s literally a goonfest between those two and everybody has to take a second look!!! im imagining s1 rafe here.. and his annoying friends… yummy!

rafe and you had a special bond, as you put it. truthfully, you were always a bit hazy anyway, eyebrows often furrowed in confusion when rafe’s discussing his business to you, or asking him to look things up for you. you wouldn’t call yourself stupid — just easily confused and sometimes unsure. so that’s where bsf!rafe comes in. he swooped into your life before you knew it, instantly attaching himself to the pretty girl who must need her knight in shining armor. you weren’t really sure how you got so close, but it happened.

it was innocent, for the most part. and i say that wholeheartedly. movie nights at your place, helping him babysit younger wheezie, going for ice cream. you didn’t act romantic, he was just like your bodyguard. well — your overly touchy bodyguard. his hands often found his way on your body to guide you through crowds and lead you places or simply hold you close when you were tired.

whenever you’d go somewhere without him, parting ways in your houses to get a drink and whatnot, he’d playfully slap your ass to shoo you away. it was meant ‘innocently’, or so you thought, but he did secretly love feeling it for the brief seconds he’d touch it.

rafe decided to make the brave decision of inviting you to one of kelce’s parties. you’ve been hanging off his arm the entire time, which earns some glances and whispers of ‘is that is girlfriend?’, only for the rumours to fizzle out when he’d be touching another girls waist whenever you were gone to the washroom.

sitting beside him while he deals coke on the low, he keeps his bicep around your shoulders as you chat up the people who want coke, because your sweet personality attracts business for your friend.

after about half an hour, you’re pawing at his salmon coloured polo and telling him that you’re gonna go get a drink. normally, he’d come with you, but he was in the middle of pouring a line for a girl with eyelashes that are falling off of the corners of her eye, so he just nods.

with a pat of your ass when you get up, sticking his hand up your skirt a little bit before you walk away, he barely notices all the confused stares in his direction. that is, until kelce is patting his back, saying, “bro! you finally bagged her, huh?”

he blinks. “the fuck d’you mean?”

“c’mon, man, smacking her little ass,”

“oh. no, we’re just friends, bro, just a.. habit, or whatever,”

topper chimes in. “dude, you don’t do that to friends. what, you hook up on the low or something? s’not normal to smack a friends ass, man,”

“me next, rafe?” kelce laughs.

“hey — bro, she’s coming, be chill,” rafe shoves his friends.

you come back and sit beside rafe again, blinking up at his annoyed face. “what?”

“no, nothing y/n, s’all good,”

“yo, y/n,” topper’s hand lands on your knee to get your attention and rafe pulls it off without thinking. “rafe smacks your ass, huh? think it’s normal?”

“gonna beat you with a golf club, man,” rafe mutters as you nod your head.

“yeah, why? he’s just teasing,”

topper and kelce laugh and you’re not sure why. all you can hope is that rafe doesn’t stop doing it anytime soon.

[0097linersb]

𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 (m)

Pairings: Wooyoung x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 15k ~

Warnings: It´s a smut so +18 MDNI pls

Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3

Part 2

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

As someone who has been single for the past 2 years, you often found yourself missing certain things and feelings. It´s not even the dating in itself that you craved, you were in fact, very content with being alone, and after all your inner healing and growth, you didn´t even think you were ready for a relationship at this point in your life. But as you and Wooyoung were on your couch lazily spending the afternoon, you found your body and mind screaming for comfort at the sight of the rainy day outside. 

Your friend had his head on your lap as he played some online shooting game on his phone, the movie you intended on watching now only serving as background noise as you drifted off, hands absent-mindedly playing with the strands of his hair that fell on top of your thighs.  

Hand-holding. 

That´s something you really missed. The feeling of interlacing fingers with someone as warmness spread through your body. When you were dating, you weren´t even that into holding hands, uncomfortable with not being able to move freely or with the way your palm seemed to always feel clammy – But now? You would kill for a chance to walk around a park linked with someone.  

You also really missed being so familiar with someone that you just felt at ease, having a person there to do nothing or everything with, being able to talk or gossip about anything. You remember spamming Mingyu´s chat with every little thing that happened during your day and him just being genuinely happy to hear about it, replying to every single message in order. As your best friend, Wooyoung was someone you talked to a lot, but you still couldn´t text him about how you already drank 6 glasses of water or how you were annoyed because your stapler kept getting stuck – Those are the annoying little things you only get to share with a significant other that has the obligation to put up with you. 

And showering together. You almost felt dramatic tears fill your eyes at the thought of it; sharing the hot stream of water with someone, have them rub soap down your back or massage shampoo onto your scalp, or just simply holding someone in the dark under the running water as steam filled the room.  

Oh, and free massages. You definitely missed those, being able to ask for a massage at whatever given moment with the certainness that you would receive one. Mingyu´s love language had always been acts of service, meaning you wouldn´t spend a single day without his hands squeezing your shoulders or rubbing down your back.  

Maybe you should call Mingyu. Something along the lines of “hey, I know we broke up a few years ago but can you come like, hold me for a minute? Cuddle until we fall asleep?” 

You were so touch deprived you could cry. 

There was also the intimate part of a relationship; You had tried casual sex, one-night stands, friends with benefits, even a Tinder hook up once – It just wasn´t for you. It´s not even the sex on itself that you longed for, you could spend another few years without it if it came down to it. But you did miss what came with being intimate with someone who truly cared about you. When it comes to casual flings, people are normally selfish (yourself included), doing the bare minimum to get the other person off but truly aiming for their own pleasure; it was nice being with someone who´s main priority was making you feel good without the need of having the “favor returned”.  

What you really did miss though, was a bit cruder: You missed the feeling of someone´s dick in your mouth, the groans and whines that came with it, hands tangled in your hair, your tongue tracing hot veins as someone praised you. You missed having someone´s fingers inside of you, your walls tight around them as they pumped in and out of you with ease. You also really fucking missed someone eating you out. 

You subconsciously pulled a bit on Wooyoung´s hair out of frustration but he didn´t seem to notice, eyes fixated on his game. You gently pat his head where you had tugged on the strands and went back to playing with his hair, letting your mind take you away once again.  

Again, it´s not like your relationship with Mingyu ended badly, surely, he wouldn´t mind if you called him up to go down memory lane for a night- 

You had never noticed how plump Wooyoung´s lips were.  

He had a habit of pouting when he was focused, or biting on his lips when he was extra concentrated – which he was doing just now as he tried to shoot at someone who was trying to kill him. When he finally managed to take out the other player and escape, he let his bottom lip go, now all red and glistening as he cursed out loud. They just looked so soft and plushy, and the mole he had on his bottom lip –  

You suddenly realized you were kind of obsessed with Wooyoung´s nose shape. You know what people say about big noses… Also, how good would it feel bumping against - 

“You´re being way too nice. What´s going on?” Wooyoung´s voice suddenly interrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump in shock and realization that you were just thinking about your friend eating you out.  

“I am nice, just not to you,” You correct, meeting his eyes which were looking up as you noticed you were still running your fingers through his hair. 

“I have very strong opinions about that, but either way, it´s what I meant. Why are you being nice to me?” 

“Am I?” 

“I remember very clearly the last time I asked you to cuddle me, almost got down on my knees begging and you just looked at me like I had rolled around in the trash.”  

“You were quiet today, behaving like a normal person-” 

“Go on, call me a good boy. I know you want to,” He rolls his eyes. 

You laugh out loud at that; he did know you well. 

“Nah, you´ve ruined it the moment you opened your mouth.” 

“Guess I´m a bit further from perfect than I thought, getting there though. How was the movie anyways?” 

“Oh, did it end already?” You asked, finally looking at the TV and realizing the credits must have been rolling for a while. “Wasn´t paying attention.” 

“What were you even doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, a second away from calling you stupid. 

“Thinking.” 

“About?” 

“Calling Mingyu,” You half-lied. 

At that, he managed to furrow his eyebrows even more, the biggest judgmental face he had ever sported looking up at you, “Why? Are you suddenly into him again?” 

“No.” 

“Then why?” 

“I don´t know, just-” 

“Oh my god,” His eyes widened, and he covered his mouth in shock. “It´s a booty call.” 

“It´s that what people call it these days?”  You ask, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole ordeal. 

“Oh my god, so it is.” 

“I guess?” 

“Y/N, it´s been like 2 years. I know you´re hot and he´s a man but I think that conversation would be kind of weird. Were you planning on texting him a wanna come smash?” He questioned you as he sat up. “Do you even have his number?” 

“No, I - I don´t know. I-  Let´s change the subject.” 

“Let´s absolutely not.” 

“You´re being annoying.” 

“Aren´t I always?” 

“Yes, defin-” 

“If you´re horny, why don´t you text that last guy you were going out with? He was hot too.” 

“Ew, don´t use the word horny.” 

“Would you prefer I call you needy?” 

Maybe you would, yeah, very much. 

“No, ew. Just stop talking all-together.” 

“So, why don´t you text him?” 

“You know I can´t really enjoy it much when I´m not like, close to the person.” 

“So you thought of your ex,” he deadpanned. 

“Yeah.” 

“Has literally not even one of the guys you hooked up with gotten you off?” 

“I mean, some of them did. But I don´t want to just get off, I-I- I don´t even know what I want, can we please chan-” 

“You want to be treated like the little pillow princess you are, got it.” 

Did he have to say it like that? Suddenly you felt the pulse between your legs raising its intensity. Oh god no, you were absolutely not getting turned on by Wooyoung´s crude choice of words. 

Anyone but Wooyoung! 

“Who says I´m a pillow princess? Am not!” 

“Ah, please. You scream I´ll bring nothing to the table besides looking pretty.” 

“Is that how I come off as?” You gasped at that, feeling deeply offended. “You´re full of shit.” 

“Why are you even getting mad? There´s nothing wrong with that, I´m sure you´re really good at looking pretty under a guy.” 

“Please stop picturing someone else fucking me?” 

“Who says I´m picturing someone else?” He winked at you teasingly. 

You literally, in your over 20 years of life on this earth, have never - not even once - thought you would actually choke over someone´s words. This was Wooyoung, you were used to his ways, c´mon! 

“Yeah, let´s not do that.” 

“Awn, pretty princess got flustered,” He cooed at you. 

You knew he was just teasing you; you knew there was no real sexual intent behind his words because that was Wooyoung, he flirted and teased as naturally as he breathed - but they still got your thighs tensing and you hating yourself for it. Couldn´t you just take a joke for what it was? 

“Although now that I´m thinking about it, I wouldn´t be surprised if you turned out to be a brat in bed. You´re already the biggest one normally.” 

“Look who´s calling me a brat,” You rolled your eyes once again. It didn´t matter if he was right or wrong, Wooyoung had no right calling anyone that when he was the way he was.  

At that, he presented you with the most attractive smile you think would ever exist in the world, a mixture between cunning, excitement and condescending, “You think I´m bratty?” 

“Oh, I´m sure of it.” 

“Maybe I´m just good at matching energies, you know?” He winked, teasing you further. 

“Fuck off. I know San forced you on your knees more often than I´d like to imagine.” 

“Because I allowed him to.” 

You snorted, “Yeah. Sure thing, honey. Now let´s move along, please.” 

Except that, your mind decided to in fact, consider his words. Wooyoung liked teasing and annoying people for his own entertainment, he whined at you every time he didn´t get things his way and he was always playfully flirting with everyone - and you meant literally everyone. Because of that, you had always just kind of assumed (but never spared it many thoughts, thank God) that your best friend was just someone who like to be dominated when in relationships, or sexual encounters for the matter.  

But honestly, you could kind of see it differently after his comments. It was true he always had everyone wrapped around his fingers and somehow, he always managed to get things his way - Wasn´t that also some form of control? The lines were kind of blurred when it came to Jung Wooyoung, but that was kind of even more attractive to you.   

“Oh my god, you´re thinking about it,” Wooyoung teased.  

“You´re the one who started it!” 

“You don´t have to stress your pretty little head over it,” He smiled, his finger finding it´s place under your chin to tip your face in his direction playfully. “I can show you.” 

Oh, absolutely not. 

Your eyes fluttered shut for a millisecond at his words, your guard crumbling surprisingly fast as you practically whimpered, “I know you´re joking but can we please not?” 

“Why?” 

 Couldn´t he stop giving you that annoying freaking smile? 

“Because I am kind of horny and I really don´t want to go there,” You practically growled.  

Now he was the one who broke character, not expecting you to be actually affected by his jokes, before the teasing smile was back on his face in a heartbeat - but you saw it. 

“Did I make you horny?” He teased. 

“Of course not, I was already horny before. I´m just in a weird mood.” 

It wasn´t necessarily a lie. If you weren´t already feeling some type of way since earlier, you would have never - and you really mean that - caught yourself thinking about Wooyoung´s stupid plump lips or if he could actually fuck you.  

“So, you were thinking about getting dicked down while I was here innocently lying down on your lap? You´re dirty,” He snickered. 

“It wasn´t weird until you made it weird,” You groaned in frustration. This is really not how you imagined your afternoon would go down.  

“Want me to help you out?” 

“Got any hot friends who are also not my friends?” 

“I do,” He nodded with his head. “But I´m also right here.” 

Your eyes almost flew out of your head. You always judged yourself as the only person immune to Wooyoung's weirdness, deeming that nothing the man did or say would ever surprise you since you basically were the same - but you now guessed the tests became harder as the years passed.  

“I can´t really tell if you´re joking-“ 

“I am absolutely not.” 

“Yeah, not going to happen.” 

“Why?” 

“Because!” 

“I know you can use your big girl words.” 

“Because as much as it pains me to admit it, we´re best friends. I guess?” 

“Now you´re the one who´s making it weird. You´re hot, I´m hot. You´re horny, now I´m horny. What´s wrong with helping each other out?” 

“What´s wrong is that I never really saw you like that!” You whined. 

“But you´re seeing now.” 

“Yeah, and I don´t like it!” 

“Tell me,” He raised an eyebrow at you, a devilish glint on his eyes matching his smile once again.  

“What?” 

“What you imagined me doing to you.” 

“Oh my god. Nothing!” 

“Oh c´mon, I won´t think you´re in love with me or anything. I know we´re friends and I´m a man, if there is one thing I can understand is simple plain old horniness.”  

“How is this so easy for you?” 

“Oh, I already imagined fucking you many times. In many different ways, too,” Wooyoung stated so casually, like he was talking about his shopping list for when he went to the supermarket later. “You know that one time at Seonghwa´s pool when you were wearing that little orange bikini? I must have made up at least 4 different scenarios, just that day.” 

“I feel kind of violated?”  

You also felt the way something throbbed in between your legs at his words but he didn´t need to know that. 

“As I said: I´m a man, Y/N. I love you and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship, but there´s nothing wrong with fantasizing. It´s not like I actively decide to do it either, it just happens, I don´t know.” 

“Do you just casually think about fucking all your friends?” 

“No, only the hot ones. And it´s not something I keep thinking about all the time, I´m not a creep. Just once every blue moon hormone takes over or something. Also, you´re a fool if you think any of your other friends who are into women have never, not even once, thought about fucking you.”  

“Yeah, I´d rather be a fool,” You rolled your eyes. “Also, San hasn´t!” 

“San would quit his dream job in a heartbeat if I called him over for a threesome right now.” 

“Yunho then! He would never -” 

Wooyoung laughed at that, “Honey, I have something to tell you-“ 

“Please don´t.” 

“Anyways, you´re not lacking options to help you out. All I´m saying is that I´m here and I´d be more than glad to be the one,” He had the audacity of winking at you. “Since you were already thinking about it.” 

“I´m begging you to please drop it.” 

“Only if you tell me what you were thinking about.” 

“Oh my god! You know what? Let´s play your stupid fucking game, Jung Wooyoung. I´ll tell you if you tell me first.” 

“So, you do know how to have fun,” Wooyoung gave you a big smile, his eyes disappearing in happiness as if you had just told him you got him a new car. “What do you want to know?” 

“About the day at Seonghwa´s pool.” 

“Fun. I will use your own words then: I was in a weird mood that day and then you just took your clothes off and looked so good in that bikini. You were sunbathing and at some point in the afternoon you went inside Hwa´s house to get something from the kitchen and my brain just kept flashing images in my head: what if I followed you into the empty house, pushed you against the nearest wall and fucked you, watching as you tried to keep quiet so the others wouldn´t hear from right outside? Your cheek red from rubbing against the wall, your -” 

“That´s scenario number one.” 

“You want all of them? Kinky.” 

“I can just go-“ 

“Calm down, princess. See? I knew you were a brat.” 

“Wooyo-“ 

“Later when I was sitting down on the sunbathing chair with you while you were helping me out with the sunscreen, I noticed how my hand was so close I could pull the bottom of your bikini to the side and just slip my fingers in, right there in the open, no one would even notice. I wondered if you were already going to be wet and how you would sound trying to keep your noises inside with my knuckles deep into you. I couldn´t imagine a better sight than you all pretty clenching around my fingers or how you would look trying to casually spread your legs for me without anyone suspecting. I even went as far as imagining us getting caught, can you picture Mingi noticing what a little slut you are and trying to watch without getting caught himself? Poor boy wouldn´t know what to do with himself, would just loose his mind at how hot you´d look. I wondered if you´d like that he was watching –“ 

“That´s scenario number two,” You interrupted before the skin where you dug your nails into could start bleeding from your efforts to ground yourself and not squirm like an animal in heat at Wooyoung´s words. 

He was good, you had to give him that.  

Wooyoung laughed at you and you wondered if he had any clue about what he was doing to you. Then you mentally slapped yourself because of course he did, he had eyes.  

“When everyone went inside to make some drinks and start on dinner, you sat there on the edge of the pool and started kicking water at me. Remember that? I happened to notice the edge was just the perfect height for me to eat you out from the pool, and you even had your back to the door. We were all alone out there and even if someone came out, I would be hidden from their view in between your legs. I could picture my hands holding your thighs open and your back arching-” 

“Yeah, ok. That´s enough. I´m going to go, humm, shower or something and you can just like leave-” 

“Can I join?” He joked as you stood up. 

“No.” 

“Can I at least stay outside listening?” 

“What? I´m not going to mastu- Wooyoung, I´m just taking a cold shower.” 

“OK, go cool yourself off, princess. I´ll wait for you here,” He informed, unlocking his phone once again and showing you his screen where his game was loading. 

“Yeah, ok. Suit yourself.” 

“You really should let me listen as payback for getting me horny,” He screamed once you were already down the hallway. 

“You got yourself horny,” You screamed back before shutting the bathroom door behind yourself. 

You silently screamed against your hands as you let your body slide down the door. 

What the hell just happened? How many lines did you just cross?  

Why was Wooyoung suddenly so hot? 

And so, a cold shower you took and thankfully, after you left the bathroom, no one talked about the subject for the rest of the night and just pretended that nothing had happened. 

Except that now you were miserable and your mind echoed Wooyoung´s words every time you looked or thought about him. It was not optimal to be crossing your legs in the middle of class at university because you accidentally caught yourself staring at your friend´s veiny arms for half of the lecture. 

★  

“You´re still horny,” Wooyoung stated a few days later when you were literally getting ice cream after class. 

“And I´m actually mortified that you noticed.” 

“You´re being stubborn.” 

“We´re not fucking, Wooyoung.” 

“Dude, at this point I am genuinely feeling bad for you. We can ask Mingi or whoever, just please get some dick.” 

“You´re being kind of sexist-” 

“Y/N, you look constipated. I am worried for your sanity.” 

“Just shut up before I stop talking to you.” 

“I can use a blindfold or something if you´re worried about me seeing you naked-” 

“You´d like that, wouldn´t you? Submissive bitch.” 

“Don´t degrade me unless you mean it,” He winked at you. 

“You are actually insufferable.” 

“I´m just trying to help.” 

“You can´t because you don´t understand that this isn´t just about getting some dick!” 

“So what is this about? You tense every time my hands get near you -” 

“Wooyoung, this is an ice cream parlor. There are kids around, just shut the fuck up.” 

“So let´s go to my place.” 

“I´m not getting inside any closed spaces with you unless there are more people around.” 

“Kinky.” 

“Oh my god, you know what I mean.” 

“I know, just let me tease you. Ok, but seriously now, I think that in order for me to do my duties as a best friend, I need to understand what´s going on.” 

“Since when do you care about your best friend duties? You once left me behind alone at a party to get fucked by Yeonjun or whatever you two-” 

“Allegedly.” 

“No, Wooyoung. Not allegedly, it was literally me that you dragged to a corner to inform you´d be going upstairs with Yeonjun-” 

“No one knows what happened in that room.” 

“Yeah, thank god.” 

“Ok, whatever. Let me help you, tell me what´s going on inside that little messed up brain of yours.” 

“Nop. I really would rather lock myself inside the industrial freezer in the back.” 

“Yeah? Then I´m texting Mingi to go to your place and give you the fuck of your life tonight-” 

“Wooyoung!” 

“Y/N!” 

“Just drop it.” 

“No! Do you actually miss Mingyu? Or dating? Do you want a boyfriend? Is that it?” 

“No,” You groaned, hitting your forehead against the table.  

“So?” 

“Just- I need alcohol if we´re going to talk about this.” 

“Ok, let´s go to-” 

“Wooyoung, it´s 2 in the afternoon.” 

And so, he let it go for the moment, but the next time he saw a single drop of alcohol near you, he sat down next to you and crossed his hands like he meant business, a pointed look on his face. 

★ 

“So?” 

“This is literally my first shot.” 

“Then take it.” 

“Fine,” You begrudgingly complied, and you hadn´t even placed your glass back down before Wooyoung was already pouring you more. Figuring you weren´t going to escape this conversation, you downed your second shot and sighed in defeat. 

“Now tell me why you aren´t getting your back blown out at this very moment.” 

“It´s really weird talking about sex with you.” 

“We talk about sex all the time.” 

“Yeah, about other people, not about me, or about you suddenly being willing to fuck me- “ 

“Not suddenly.” 

“Yeah, whatever. Pour me some more.” 

“That´s what I like to hear,” He smirked at you, eyes glinting as he filled your glass up.  

“Y/N looks miserable,” Mingi suddenly stated, dropping his body next to you on the couch coming from seemingly nowhere.  

“Doesn´t she?” Wooyoung agreed, giving you a pointed look as you punched Mingi for the out-of-pocket comment. 

“Where did you even come from?” You asked the tall man next to you, excited for a change of topic. 

“The kitchen,” He absentmindedly answered you, hand busy filling up the glasses in front of you before handing you one. “Take a shot with me.” 

And so you did, hissing at the burning sensation and taking deep breaths to not gag at the taste of tequila. 

“OK, why does it look like your house burned down?” The man turned his attention back to you after smashing the empty glass on the little center table in front of you. 

Damn it, Mingi. 

You didn´t even have the time to begin forming any kind of excuses before Wooyoung  answered for you in a heartbeat, “Little Y/N over here is horny.” 

“Jung Wooyoung!” You gasped at his choice of words, thorn between hiding behind your hands, punching the man and apologizing to Mingi. 

Mingi, in turn, was frozen in shock mid pouring himself another shot. And you meant that the man wasn´t even blinking, mouth open and hands stuck in the air holding the glass bottle which you took from him afraid he would break it. 

“See what you´ve done?” You sighed to Wooyoung, elbowing his ribs as you tried waving your hand in front of Mingi´s face for a reaction.  

“Wait, what?” Said man came back to life, his voice way higher than what you´re used to. 

“You heard it, man. She hasn´t been fucked right in ages-” 

“Wooyoung, you know what you said about wanting to keep up with your best friend´s duties?” You asked between gritted teeth, about ready to jump the man and rip all of his hair out. “This is really not it.” 

“But you´re hot!” Mingi seemed confused. 

“I told her that!” Wooyoung ignored you. “I even told her you´d volunteer to help her out-” 

“I so would-” 

“Shut the fuck up, you two! Wooyoung, I´m about a second away from blocking you on my phone and never seeing you again,” You were also as close to ripping your own hair out. “Yes I´m horny, the whole world doesn´t need to hear about it.”  

Mingi noticed the crazy look behind your eyes and rubbed your back in comfort, he too knew what Wooyoung could do to people when he decided to be annoying.  

“It´s ok, love. We´ve all been there,” Mingi assured you and his words did soothe you a bit.  

“It´s just – You guys don´t get it. It´s not about just sex. I know I could literally fuck anyone at this party if I wanted to, I´m not dense. I guess I just miss dating but I don´t really want to date anyone at the moment?” 

“So like a friends with benefits thing?” Wooyoung pressed. 

“No, that´s just fucking with a fancy title. I mean like, I miss being touched and hugged and pampered and – I don´t know.” 

“Every time I try to hug you, you freeze and glare at me!” Mingi pouted. 

“I´m just not a touchy person!” 

“I know! That´s why I´m not understanding what you want.” 

“Just forget it-” 

“I get it,” Wooyoung interrupted.  

“Do you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“You want a boyfriend without the obligations and feelings involved with a relationship. I was right, you´re needy.” 

“Oh,” Apparently it made sense to Mingi too. 

“Ok, and with that, I excuse myself,” You say, already standing up to go find someone else to hang out with because you were definitely not ready for the rest of that conversation. 

★ 

“What are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance after opening the door to your place to a very content looking Wooyoung. 

"I came to be your boyfriend-not-boyfriend,” He smiled proudly. 

"We're not fucking, Wooyoung,” You managed to sigh and roll your eyes at the same time. "Which is exactly what I told you the other 50 times you suggested it." 

"Who said anything about fucking? I'm just here to force the touch-deprivation out of you. Now move, I brought snacks," He said as if he hadn't already pushed you out of the way about midway through his sentence.   

You sighed in defeat, accepting your peaceful quiet night was ruined - You hadn't even locked the door yet and Wooyoung was already sprawled on your couch organizing the snacks on your coffee table, making way more noise than necessary.  

"At least you brought my favorite," You noticed, arms crossed as you stood up next to the couch.  

"These are all your favorites," His eyes were even shining with the amount of pride he had for himself. 

"Says who?" 

"Says me." 

"You called Seonghwa, didn't you?" 

"Only about the chips." 

"Knew it." 

"It's not my fault you literally change your opinions every day." 

"Welcome to girlhood." 

"Now sit down and I'll put something on Netflix." 

"Wooyoung, why-" 

"Y/N, listen," It was his turn to sigh. "You helped me through a lot when everything happened with my grandpa and you were always there for me when shit went down, just let me help you this once however I can." 

"Ok, got it. Enough with the sentimental talk," You quickly obeyed. You didn't like serious Wooyoung.  

"Now, are we feeling Criminal Minds?" He asked once you were sitting next to him, remote in hand. 

"Sounds great." 

“Perfect,” Wooyoung agreed as he put on the show, quickly standing up to turn off the lights before sitting back down and opening his arms. “Come here.” 

“Uh, I would rather not.” 

“I don´t care, we´re doing this.” 

“I don´t think forcing me to cuddle you will help much-” 

“Do you want me to really force you? Because I can,” He raised his eyebrow at you, arms still hanging in the air. 

“I´m pretty sure I´m stronger than you-” 

“Oh my god, just shut up,” He groaned and rolled his eyes at the same time, bending his body forward so he could grab onto your waist and pull you against his chest.  

Ok, yeah. He was definitely stronger than you. 

“Can you not make it so difficult?” He asked once he noticed how stiff you were in between his legs. “Stretch your legs, relax.” 

You decided against reminding him that he was in fact forcing you to do this and obeyed, he was just trying to help after all and maybe he did have a point: Some human touch might help calm your mind down. Also, the quicker you played along, the sooner it would be over.  So, stretching your legs across the couch you did, letting your body relax against Wooyoung´s, who contently wrapped his arms around you as you both turned your attention towards the Tv.  

Well, that lasted for about 10 minutes before you started feeling the heat of your friend´s skin radiating and everything started making sense: Being held by someone you loved really was comforting. Huh, who would have guessed? 

You generally hated being touched by people but right now you kind of felt like a cat, wanting to rub your head on Wooyoung´s shirt and snuggle into his warmth.  

“Can I play with your hair or will you bite my hand of?”  

“You can try,” You answered, not wanting to admit he was right all along and that you would very much like more of whatever this was.  

You could practically feel the roll of his eyes at your threatening tone as he pulled your head like you were just one big barbie doll, so your right cheek would be rested against his chest, turning your body to the side so now your right shoulder kind of met his chest instead of your back.  

“Ouch, you could be gentler,” You complained, rubbing your forehead skin where his palm was planted seconds before.  

“When you deserve it,” He grunted, eyes fixed on the Tv.  

“That was not very let me help you of you.” 

It was easy to tell he bit back his comeback, simply taking a deep calming breath and burying his fingers in the hair behind your neck, gently rubbing the area – Maybe you would purr. Judging you now had the upper hand, you decided to in return wrap your own arms around his wait so you could get comfortable and Wooyoung  gave you a cocky victory smile. 

Damn it. 

The two of you went through the entire episode like that and you were so relaxed that when Wooyoung stood up to open the snacks and grab some wine, you didn´t even complain about how that was a bad idea, sharing some glasses while you watched the second and third episodes and he tossed you around into every cuddling position you never even knew existed, discussing who you though were the killers and all the little gossips of the week. 

“You could create like a cuddling Kama Sutra,” You joked, kind of dizzy because of the drink – or because you had an incredibly attractive man holding you for the past 2 hours or so.  

“Will you quit complaining about my touchy personality now?” He smiled. 

“Nah, this was a one-time thing.” 

“Are you at least feeling a bit better?” Wooyoung asked, adjusting himself on the couch to look at you since you were now sitting side to side after the last episode ended.  

“Yes, actually.” 

It was true, you were no longer feeling like you could rip your entire skin off if you went through another second of someone not touching you.  

“I have one last move prepared,” He informed excitedly. 

“We´re not fucki-” 

“Oh my god, will you quit it with the fucking thing? If you keep bringing It up I might start thinking you´re interested-” 

“What was the idea?” You quickly asked, trying to cut the flirting off before it could lead your brain somewhere you spent the entire night not wanting to go.  

“Let me give you a massage.” 

“Wow, you´re really invested in this helping me thing.”  

“Contrary to your big mouth, I am a good friend. Sit down right here,” Wooyoung ordered, opening his legs and pointing to the space on the floor in between his feet. “Tonight I´ll take the neediness out of you the best I can since you refuse to go out and get some dick.” 

You rolled your eyes and ignored his remark, sitting down where he showed you and waiting silently as he gently gathered your hair and moved it out of the way. You cursed at how your skin erupted in goosebumps as his fingertips brushed against the side of your neck, your breath suddenly caught in your chest. 

You followed the realization that this was probably a horrible idea with another glass of wine, thankful he couldn't feel your heart beating fast.  

Wooyoung worked his thumbs in circles, digging them between your scapulae and pressing them up until they reached your shoulders, which he squeezed in the perfect strength to get shivers running up your spine every minute as he repeated the motion over and over.  

“How are you so good at this?” You whined, hating how your body was reaction to the touches. 

“There´s really nothing I´m not good at.” 

“Humbleness,” You offered. 

“That was a cliché answer, you can do better than that.” 

“I don´t care, just please never stop.” 

“I get that a lot.” 

“Do you really need to make everything sexual?” 

“I´ve always been that way, it´s not my fault that now that you´re horny it´s bothering you.” 

You hated when he put it like that, because yes. 

And maybe the way he sometimes would squeeze your neck during the massage or just the fact that he was touching you, were getting you feeling some type of way you would rather he did not notice.  

“If you were a girl, you´d understand,” You groaned. “Ovulation sucks.” 

“You actually just gave yourself the perfect solution, why don´t you fuck a girl?” 

´Cause what I really want is fucking you. 

Oh, wow.  

Where did that come from? 

“Speaking of which, do you even know how to?” You ask, admittedly kind of shy of asking such question.  

“Know how to what?” 

“Like, have- you like- With women?” You try, motioning widely towards the couch with your hands as if it would help you get your point across so you wouldn´t have to say the words. 

Wooyoung seemed to get it though, hands suddenly stopping on your back so you would look at him, “Y/N, you do know I have fucked women, right?” 

“How would I? You never told me!” You whine. 

“I thought it would be disrespectful?” 

“But when you told me how much you loved choking on San´s dick it wasn´t?” 

“Well, no-” 

“Or when you literally shared about how you thought about your fingers inside of me?” 

“You asked for it!” 

“I don´t believe you,” You narrowed your eyes towards him. “There´s no way I wouldn´t have known.” 

“Do you want like a list or something?” 

“What? No! That would be disrespectful.” 

“See?” 

“Ok, no, wait. Just tell me this: Lauren?” 

“Yes.” 

“Wooyoung, nooooo!” You whined. 

“What? She´s hot!” He was exasperated. 

“Oh my god, everything makes so much sense now.” 

“Wait, did you really think I was gay? We´ve know each other for years! I talk about women all the time!” 

“Yeah, but I thought you talked about women like Kevin talks about Beyoncé! Like in a slayy pussy  queennn way, not in a I´d want to fuck her way.”  

“Would you like me to go around harassing women?” 

“No, listen: I didn´t think you were gay, I just kind of never thought about it?” 

"You though I was just joking around with you the other day and you still got all hot and bothered?" Would he quit teasing you? "Kinky." 

“I thought you were playing and I didn't get any way!" 

“Whatever you say, princess - Wait, why did you think Ali was always hanging around my neck all these months?” 

“I just thought she was kind of crazy – Wait, did you fuck her that good? She wouldn´t leave us alone for a second, it was driving me insane." 

“I just told you there´s nothing I´m not good at,” He winked at you with a cocky smile on his face. 

You wanted to die.  

“Wooyoung,” You warned. 

“Awn, am I getting to you?” His tone was so sarcastic and condescending that a fire burned inside of you that you were afraid was never going out.  

“It´s the wine,” You assured, more yourself than him. 

“It´s always something.” 

“See? That´s why I told you I didn´t want to be alone with you.” 

“Afraid you´ll jump me?” He mocked. “I´m not scared.” 

"Just shut up. If whatever you're saying is true, I just want you to know you have the worst taste in women ever." 

"Well, considering I would love to taste you more than I would anyone else, I agree," He played with your words.  

“Go wash the glasses,” You ordered, the skin under your cheeks burning.  

“Yes, ma’am,” He answered with a laugh, immediately standing up and following along.  

When you were alone in the living room, your face fell between your hands in despair. 

You fucking hated Jung Wooyoung and his fucking giant noise. 

★  

Stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung.  

Fucking hell.  

Cursed be the day that man was born and cursed be the hospital and the doctors and the nurses and everyone in the world for all you cared. 

Your entire body was filled with rage as you opened the stupid coffee maker to pour the water into the compartment – which you had of course forgotten to fill 10 minutes earlier and almost burnt the whole office down. How would you explain to your boss that you started a fire because your brain was simply too busy flashing images of you sitting on your stupid annoying best friend´s face for the past 4 hours? 

It has been 2 days since the day at your place, 2 nights since you've gotten a decent night of sleep. "Why is that?" One would ask. Well, the answer would be that your useless brain decided to sabotage you, having you dream about your best friend over and over again – Which wouldn't be so bad if 90% of the dreams didn't consist of you ridding said best friend's face, waking up sweating and wanting to scream. 

At this point you just wanted to break Wooyoung's nose with a punch, so you'd never have to think about it again. After almost ripping your hair out in front of your computer, you decided on texting Hoshi for Mingyu's number - That's how desperate you were to get stupid fucking Jung Wooyoung out of your head. At least your friend assured that your ex was indeed single now and still didn't hate you, which was enough for you.  

Not really knowing how to tell your ex-boyfriend, after so much time has passed, that you just wanted him to throw you around, things weren't going as fast as planned and you couldn't keep avoiding Wooyoung forever – One, because he has no sense of boundaries and would just show up at your place if you ignored him and two, you really didn't want to have the conversation that would go down when he found out why you weren't around.  

It'd been over a week since you last saw Wooyoung in person, you were still in the talking stages with Mingyu, dreaming about your friend every fucking night and staring at his picture on the chatting app for hours while wanting to die. Now, you kind of genuinely didn't care anymore, Mingi and Wooyoung were right, maybe this was just about getting some dick – and you would find out if one could die of horniness if you didn't get some soon.  

It was Saturday night, Hongjoong decided to throw a small party at his place to celebrate his birthday and you figured alcohol was a good solution since stabbing a knife into your brain wasn't an option. You even invited Mingyu, hoping in person and after a few drinks you'd figure how to ask him to bend you over – The man said he would be pretty late because of previous scheduled commitments but that he would go. Your ex was an incredibly attractive man who knew his way around a lady, maybe you would see all your problems flying away after tonight. 

Except that after your first cup and some chatting with Mingi and Seonghwa on Hongjoong's couch, Wooyoung decided to arrive.  

You took one (1) - ONE, UNO - look at the man and grabbed your phone, shooting Mingyu a text: don´t come, party´s canceled. 

“Bro, your hair looks sick!” Mingi shouted before your brain could even begin to process what you were seeing. 

You were the one actually about to be sick. 

“Decided to try something new,” Wooyoung smirked, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you. 

You simply stared at him dumbfounded, glad he was too busy stealing the drink from your hands to notice your mouth wide open.  

Jung Wooyoung just showed up to the party with the bottom part and the front strands of his hair dyed blonde and you weren´t sure what kind of look that even was but you felt like it genuinely changed your whole life. You were pretty sure you got goosebumps when you first looked at him, lucky you were sitting down with the way your legs got weak. 

“What do you think about it?” He asked you after he was content with finishing what was left in your cup. 

“I hate it.” 

Well, you weren´t lying. Your nails were literally digging into the palm of your hands to try and get your head back in place - The new look made his skin look tanner, the mole under his eye darker, the shape of his nose - 

 The way he pushed his hair back, blonde strands surrounding his face - 

No, nop. 

No. 

“Since I know you´re joking, I´m gonna go say hi to Hongjoong and grab us more drinks so we can get this party started.” 

You let him go with absolutely no fight, eyes wide and glued to his form until he was out of your sight as Seonghwa led him to where the birthday boy was supposed to be. 

“Are you ok?” Mingi asked, noticing the crazy look on your face. 

“I need Wooyoung to fuck me.” 

Your brain definitely was short-circuiting. 

“Oh. Wow. Ok.” 

“I´m being serious. And I´m not happy about it.” 

“Hasn´t he been offering for like weeks now?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So just go and tell him.” 

“That´s not how it works.” 

“Oh my god, why do you have to be so complicated?” 

“I need him to offer again so I can say no, then when he insists, I will give in and pretend I´m kind of thorn about it.” 

“And why is that?” 

“So he doesn´t know he won! And I don´t like being vulnerable or whatever.” 

“I know we said you need some dick, but maybe you just need some therapy.” 

“Yeah, that too, but what I really need right now is your help.” 

“Sure,” Mingi shrugged. That´s what you liked about him, things were simple with him. 

“I need him to think I´m horny.” 

“You are horny.” 

“Yeah, but I need him to see it so he will joke about helping me out again.” 

“And how are you going to do that?” 

“Well, I could stand here with a bitch face all night, but it´s Joong´s birthday so I don´t really want to be like that. I don´t really have any other ideas-” 

“Touch me.” 

“What?” 

“Like, be touchy with me.” 

“Oh, that could work.” 

“That will definitely work.” 

“You´re good,” You complimented. 

“You should come to me for help more often.” 

“Don´t push it.” 

“Fine.” 

“You´re invested, huh?” 

“Move closer,” He ordered and you obeyed, sitting sideways on the couch so you were turned towards him, left knee touching his thigh. “Lean forward and put your hand on my thigh.” 

Despite your body´s discontent, you did as told. 

“And don´t flinch when I touch you,” He warned.  

“I feel like a spy,” You joked. 

“All this because you can´t tell a guy you want to fuck,” He rolled his eyes. 

“C´mon, pretend you´re not enjoying this, I dare you.” 

“Touché.” 

When your friends came back with more people tagging along, the first thing you noticed was the way Wooyoung´s gaze traveled immediately to your hand on Mingi´s thighs.  

Ok, yeah, this could definitely work. 

“Here, princess,” He handed you your drink, which you grabbed with your free hand.  

“Thanks Wooyo,” You smiled at the man before turning your attention back to Mingi, not missing the way your friend squeezed his eyes at you.  

Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t say anything about it, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch as a circle naturally formed in the living room so everyone could play something, and the first choice was the 007 game. You went along with the plan, hitting Mingi´s thigh instead of your own, touching his arm when you had to laugh, not going stiff when his hand met the skin almost at the hem of your skirt. 

You know what? Mingi was actually really hot too, if this night didn´t end how you expected it to, you were so horny you were just about considering asking him to fuck you.  

Whenever you looked in Wooyoung´s direction, you could practically see the engines turning in his head. It was just a matter of time now and you were already feeling shaky with excitement, which you weren´t exactly thrilled about – But then you looked at him again with that stupid hair and that stupid nose and that stupid half-unbuttoned shirt and decided that to hell with your morals and ethics. 

Mingi apparently decided his role in the ploy wasn´t enough for him, since after an hour or so passed by and people started standing up to go after more drinks or socialize with other people, he waited for Wooyoung to approach before asking loud and clear, “So, any luck with the getting some dick thing?” 

You were not exactly a good actress but you did know how to flirt, so not really knowing how else to react to the sudden improvisation, you smiled at him, “Why? Know someone interested?” 

“Yeah, nice to meet you. I´m Song Mingi,” He half-joked, hand still heavy on your thigh. “Oh, Wooyoung. You´re here, didn´t see you there.” 

He was good, you had to give him that. 

“I can see why,” Wooyoung answered, eyes pointing at the contact between you two.  

“Jealous?” Mingi asked his friend, his tone was humorous, but you could see the challenge in his eyes. Even though he was just playing, he couldn´t help being an egotistical Leo. 

“I wouldn´t say jealous is the right word.” 

“Did you know Y/N invited Mingyu over?” Mingi laughed. 

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at you, eyes dancing with amusement.  

“I already uninvited him, asshole.” 

“Is that why you´re all touchy today?”  Mingi asked. Ok, you would have to buy him some ice cream after the phenomenal performance he was delivering. “Thought you would convince her to fuck someone, Woo.” 

“Believe me, I tried,” He shrugged. 

“Can we quit talking about me like I´m not here? Also, I´m not an animal in heat, stop being weird.” 

Well, weren´t you?  

Really? 

“You sure seem like it,” Wooyoung completed. 

“You look hornier than me, Wooyoung.” 

“I´m not denying it,” He stated matter-of-factly. 

“Oh shit, I forgot my phone with Yunho,” Mingi cursed, suddenly petting his pockets. He was so convincing you almost forgot he was helping you out. “Shit, shit, shit. I´ll be back later.” 

With that he stood up and quickly marched out of the living room, Wooyoung lazily taking his place next to you on the couch. 

“Were you really about to let Mingi fuck you?” 

“Maybe?” You answer, and well, that wasn´t a lie either. 

“Ouch, that kind of hurts my ego.” 

“Mingi and I are just friends, now you and I are best friends. There´s a huge difference there.” 

“So, you´re saying you´d fuck me if we weren´t best friends?” He joked. “Wow, thank you. I´m shy now. No need for all these compliments.” 

You rolled your eyes, not sure what to say that would lead you towards what you wanted, choosing to just be normal and hope the night would eventually get you there. 

“Why did you cancel on Mingyu?” 

“Didn´t think he would throw me around today.” 

“Someone´s getting bold.” 

“Shut up.” 

“I actually like frustrated Y/N, it´s hot.” 

“Then stop bothering me to fuck someone and let me be frustrated in peace.” 

“Well, that seems nice but I´m sure you´d look much hotter getting the frustration out.” 

“Are we back to the “you imagining someone fucking me” thing?” 

“I could correct you once again saying that I´m not imagining someone else, but since you´ve made it pretty clear that you´re not interested, I´m not going to.” 

That was it, that was your moment. 

“And what if I tell you maybe I am?” 

He stopped to give you a knowing cocky smirk that made you immediately regret raising the white flag, “I know.” 

“What? Ho- No -” 

“Y/N, you wouldn´t stop staring at me like you wanted me to destroy you in front of everyone while Mingi literally had his hand on you.” 

“That´s not -” 

“Do I have to pretend I think you were squirming because of him and not me? I can play dumb if you´d like. I can even go call him back if you tell me you weren´t wishing it was my hand almost getting under your skirt instead of his. So, are you going to give in now or are we going to keep playing this game?” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“We´re best friends, I know. But I don´t see how you avoiding me because you get wet every time I´m around is doing our friendship any favors either.” 

Ok, he did make a pretty good case even though you were already convinced like an hour ago. 

“You´re right.” 

“I know.” 

“So?” 

“I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s.” 

You stared at him, completely dumbfounded – also not liking how the tables have turned one bit. Wooyoung in turn laughed and sent you another playful wink, “Trust me, you won´t want anyone around.” 

“It took a lot from me to come to terms with this, so we´re either doing it tonight or we´re not doing it.” 

“Oh, princess,” He gave you a condescending look that got you wanting to rip his hair out. “I find that hard to believe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“Y/n,” His voice was calm, hand finding its place on your thigh where Mingi´s was earlier, except this time the touch burned and got you fighting for your life not to squirm. “I said I´m not fucking you at Hongjoong´s, not that I´m not fucking you.” 

“Then let´s go.” 

“Now, that would be rude, wouldn´t it?” 

“Why are being like this?” You whined, about a second away from actually hitting the cockiness out of him.  

“You have this needy look in your eyes, like you´re ready to drop down and beg at any moment,” He smiled, his free hand gently tucking your hair behind your ear like he wasn´t talking about you on your knees. “It´s cute.” 

“You know what will be cute? When I ask Mingi to fuck me instead.” 

“If you can go to Hongjoong, in front of everyone, and tell him that we need to leave his birthday party right now because you can´t wait for me to fuck you, I´m good to go.” 

“Have you always been this annoying?” 

“Only when I know you´ll like it.” 

“You know you were the one asking to fuck me for weeks, right?” 

“I know.” 

“You just know everything, don´t you?” 

“See? You´re hot when you´re frustrated.” 

“You think I´m sexually frustrated but now I´m actually just mad at you.” He simply smiled at you in return, and you rolled your eyes once you realized where you had dug your grave, “I forgot you have a degradation kink or whatever. Can´t even be angry at you in peace anymore.” 

“If you´re really mad at me, we should fix that. I wouldn´t want my best friend to be angry at me.” 

“I don´t think it´s possible to fix it considering being annoying it´s like your whole personality. Point proven.” 

“Come say that closer,” He winked playfully, and you seriously would cringe at the number of times that man has winked at you if he wasn´t Wooyoung.  

Ok, coming completely clean: You were also kind of annoyed at the way you were definitely getting wet at the banter between the two of you, like teasing each other wasn´t what your whole friendship has been about for years. 

It also helped that Wooyoung´s hand was still on your thigh, veins sticking out and fingers filled with rings that you just couldn´t stop picturing against the skin on your neck.  

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 

It took a second to decide if you would actually listen to that one braincell fighting for its life inside your head or not, but in the end, you decided against it, quickly standing up so you could sit on Wooyoung´s lap and take him by surprise as you straddled his thighs, one of your knees on each side of legs.  

Yeah, there was definitely something pulsing in between your legs. Fucking hell. 

You moved too quicky for Wooyoung to process what was going on, so it really was amusing the way he violently jerked once you moved your head closer, lips almost brushing his ears as you whispered, “What do you want me to say?” 

For a second you had almost forgotten it was Jung Wooyoung under you, but he was fast to remind you as one of his hands found its place on the side of your thigh and the other grabbed onto your waist, where his thumb brushed gentle circles against your exposed skin. He took advantage of the fact you were already bent down to say against your ear this time, “You never told me.” 

“What?” You asked, creating some distance between you so you could look at the smirk on his face and because you didn´t quite like the way you got weak when you felt his breath against your skin so closely. 

“The other day, we made a deal. You said you would tell me what you imagined me doing to you if I told you first, but you ran away after I completed my part. You owe me.” 

Under regular circumstances you would have stood up and left right then and there, but the way his palms met the front part of your thighs and started rubbing them up and down, a bit higher each time, got you wanting to play his game to see where it would end. 

“You´re right. That day was the first time I ever thought about you sexually, and you know what triggered it?” 

“What?” He smiled at the way goosebumps erupted all over your skin under his touches. 

“Your nose.” 

“So you like my nose?” 

“And your lips, but mostly your nose.” 

"And what about my lips and nose?" 

"Was just thinking about how good they'd feel under me," You look into his eyes, centimeters away from yours, thankful that Hongjoong had deemed the lights at some point of the night and now Wooyoung's face was illuminated only by a pink hue, coming from a fake sunset light your friend had bought on AliExpress. 

"That's good, ‘cause I've never wanted someone to sit on my face so bad before." 

“Careful,” You warned, inching your face closer to his, toying with the buttons on his shirt as your lips were almost brushing. “We still need to go back to being friends after we fuck and get this off our systems.” 

"I’m sure we can manage," He smiled, inching closer himself so now your lips were indeed touching as he continued speaking. "I'm a good friend after all." 

"Kiss me then, I dare you," You breathed out, shooting your last shot. 

He laughed at that, "You know I never back down from a challenge." 

But well, it worked. 

Wooyoung made his words true, grabbing onto your waist with a firmness that you didn't know he had to pull you closer. With your chests now glued, his lips finally pressed against yours and you hated yourself for not being disappointed. You so wanted the man to be all bark and no bite, but the moment his tongue met yours you understood why that girl wouldn't leave him alone. You had indeed kissed many people before, but it had never felt like this - and also, you were right, his plush lips were definitely something to obsess over. 

What didn't surprise you at all, was that like in everything else, Wooyoung was a tease. In some moments when you would deepen the kiss, he would pull back a bit and bite on your bottom lip just to laugh when you groaned in annoyance. When he felt you were getting frustrated at his little games, he would grab onto your hips and grind them against his – which well, definitely got your mind to stop thinking about how insufferable he was. Good thing you knew how to play too, hands finding the roots of his hair to pull harshly on it, almost passing out at the whine he let out.  

"I love that you're wearing a skirt," He groaned out. 

"Why is that?" You were so breathless you almost got embarrassed. 

"I can feel how wet you are." 

Fuck. 

"You must be imagining things." 

"Oh, am I?" The cunning smile he gave you along with those words should have prepared you. 

It really shouldn't have surprised you when one of his hands left your ass and snaked its way in between your bodies. You leaned back a little to try and understand what was happening, giving Wooyoung all the access he needed to get his hand under your skirt and press the pad of his middle finger right on your clit over your panties. 

"Told ya," He smirked in content at the way you gasped involuntarily.  

"Wooyoung-" 

"What? Weren't you the one who couldn't wait?" He teased, rubbing slow circles with his finger. "If you're already soaked like this, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I just pushed your panties to the side-" 

"No-" You whined, thorn between just letting him do whatever he wanted or stopping him - since you were very much in the middle of your friend's living room and there were people around. 

"Getting shy now?"  

“Wooyoung.” 

“That´s my name,” You could see in his eyes how much fun he was having teasing you. 

“You want me to stop teasing or stop touching you?” He mocked with a smile on his face, finger still working on you as you fought with all your life to not squirm on his lap. 

“You know what? If you want everyone to see, I can put on a show,” You sighed, accepting defeat. 

You expected Wooyoung to smirk once again but was instead surprised when he stopped and retreated his hand, adjusting your skirt back in place. Your heart dropped at the sight, searching for answers in his eyes, but they were busy looking somewhere else: Mingi had gotten back. You could see the way the tall man was frozen at the entrance, eyes wide and hand once again stuck in the air – this time holding his phone proudly. 

You sent a glare at the intruder (as if there were not at least 10 other people in the room). The moment Mingi´s eyes caught yours, he jumped as if he had just woken up from a nap and he tried mouthing something like “sorry” and “oh shit” so you just rolled your eyes and motioned with your hand for him to move along, preferably far away. He seemed to get the message, almost tripping with how fast he spun on his heels and left.  

“What? Weren´t you the one who wanted everyone to know?” You asked Wooyoung, tone pointy as you climbed off his lap. It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over you. THIS WAS JUNG WOOYOUNG. 

YOUR BEST FRIEND JUNG WOOYOUNG. 

THE GUY WHO MADE YOU DRESS LIKE A CHEERLEADER TO GO TO HIS COLLEGE SOCCER GAMES AND CHEER FOR HIM, THE GUY WHO BURPED AND LAUGHED AT HIS OWN DISGUSTINESS, THE GUY WHO DID A CRISTIANO RONALDO IMPRESSION EVERYTIME HE WON SOMETHING, THE GUY YOU HAD TO ONCE RESCUE FROM A PIG FARM AFTER DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH! 

“Yeah, but I guess my protective best friend side spoke louder,” He sighed too, fixing his pants. “Don´t be mad.” 

“I´m not mad.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“Yes, I´m mad. Ok? Cause now the magic is over or whatever and I realized you´re my best friend and we can´t fuck.” 

He turned around on the couch to be able to look into your eyes, his searching. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he simply closed his eyes, sighed once again and stood up, offering his hand, “C´mon. Let me take you home.” 

★

“So, Mingyu huh?” Wooyoung asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the gear.  

“Don´t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Ask about another man and pretend everything´s normal.” 

“Well, I guessed that now that we can´t fuck we can go back to being normal best friends.” 

You locked your jaw and crossed your arms. You were angry and you didn´t even know what for – But you expected Wooyoung to fix it, nonetheless. 

“Use your words.” 

“No.” 

“Ok, then. Silent ride it is.” 

You huffed; aware you were acting like a spoiled child, but you were just angry at the mess inside your head and that your friend was not able to read your mind and untangle everything so it made sense. Maybe you really were just spoiled and angry you didn´t get what you wanted when you wanted. 

“Oh. I get it now.” 

“What?” Wooyoung asked, eyes moving from the road for a second to look at you. 

“When you call me a brat. I get it now.” 

“I was searching my brain for plausible reasons for you to be all sulky, for you to admit you were mad just because I didn´t fuck you at the party?” 

“Yeah? Not just that, but you know I don´t like when things don´t go my way, I just wanted everything to happen fast so I wouldn´t have time to think about it but then when I thought about it, I felt bad because I still wanted it to happen but I know it shouldn´t.” 

“Y/N, it´s sex.” 

“Don´t make me sound stupid.” 

“I´m not, you´re just really overthinking this.” 

“Yeah, that´s the whole point. And it´s all your fault, so you see why I´m mad now?” 

“Yes. I´m the worst.” 

“You are.” 

“Not when I fuck you, thought.” 

“The moment has passed, Wooyoung. The train has left the station. Deal with it.” 

“If you say so. Are you opening the garage, or should I park outside?” 

“I didn´t bring the tag – Wait, are you going up?” 

“Street it is then.” 

“Answer me, stupid.” 

“Yes, I´m going up.” 

“What for?” 

“You said it yourself, if we´re best friends and nothing more is ever happening, there should be no problem with me sleeping over, right? We´ve done it thousands of times.” 

“Yeah,” You squeezed your eyes at him. You knew what game he was playing, trying to prove you wrong – But you were also convinced you were more stubborn than him and that you would instead prove him wrong. 

“Slumber party, fun!” He exclaimed, taking the key out and tapping your thigh before leaving his car.

 ★

“Since this was kind of last minute,” You heard Wooyoung´s voice approaching your room, “I didn´t really bring any clothes.” 

And there he was, next to your bed in nothing but a towel around his hips, long messy hair slightly dripping down his torso and toothbrush in his mouth, looking all casual like you both knew he wasn´t doing this on purpose.  

The fact that it was working only made you even more annoyed. 

“You know where the drawer with your stuff is,” You groaned, pretending to look at your nails. 

He looked way too smug as he turned to your closet, opening said drawer to pull out some sweatpants. You kind of expected (or is it hoped the right word?) that he would just unknot the towel and expose himself to try and seduce you, but he behaved and simply pulled the pants under the fabric before unwrapping it.  

“Have you not heard about underwear?” 

“Have you not heard that it´s healthier to sleep without it? You should hang out with me more, I can teach you a lot.” 

“Yeah, I already see you enough, thanks.” 

“Come dry my hair.” 

“I think you´re perfectly capable of doing that yourself.” 

“Yeah, but I like when you do it.” 

You rolled your eyes and groaned, pushing the blanket out of you, “Fine.” 

Wooyoung walked to the bathroom in front of you, surely having planned the way his back and arms looked from behind. You had seen him without a shirt hundreds of times already, why did you feel like you wanted to jump him now?!!?!?!?  You figured you were over it after coming back to your senses but oh boy, were you wrong. 

“Has San been dragging you to the gym?” You asked as he bent over to get the hair dryer from the bottom drawer. You figured making small talk and acting normally would keep your brain busy. 

“Yeah. And you would know that if you opened the hundreds of snaps I send you every day.” 

“I´m not 14, Wooyoung. Snapchat died in 2015, sorry to inform you,” You joked as you plugged the dryer he handed you. “Give me the towel.” 

He did as told, sitting down on your toilet as you started drying the water excess from his hair. Doing your best so no part of your arm or leg would accidentally touch his skin since you could feel the heat emanating from it. 

That was no way of living. 

Once the towel was completely damp, you tossed it on the floor and grabbed a brush, ignoring how he closed his eyes in appreciation at the touch. You fucking hated him and the way your heart was beating fast for absolutely no reason.  

Now untangled, you reached over to get the hair dryer once again but were stopped with a soft touch to the side of your leg. 

You looked down at the man expecting an answer and he simply gave you a lazy smile, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you in between his legs, “Come here. Let me look at you while you do it.” 

Well, you let him pull you along because there was nothing really sexual about it, Wooyoung was just a touchy person and he looked like he was about to fall asleep anyways.  

You turned on the dryer and used your fingers to move his hair around so the heat would get to his roots, feeling the skin of your face heat up at the way he hummed in content. Wooyoung had a lot of hair, and not just that, but he had a lot of thick hair, so you were already aware you would spend a long time in there, appreciating the silence and the fact he was pretty much out of it so you could let your guard down. 

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY you jumped in surprise when both of his hands found their way to the side of your thighs, just very softly rubbing them up and down as you dried his strands, goosebumps erupting all over your body at the delicate touch.  

Once again, just sleepy touchy Wooyoung. 

Nothing new, nothing to fuss over. 

Except YOU WERE FUSSING OVER IT BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN YOU FELT A PULSE WHERE YOU DIDN´T WANT TO FEEL A PULSE. 

This whole situation was just so domestic and nice that it scratched a very specific part of your brain that got you wanting to live in that moment forever – except maybe not with your best FRIEND. 

“I like when you touch me,” His raw voice came out softly. “You don´t do it a lot, so I have to enjoy every chance I get.” 

You didn´t have an answer to that, the only thing you could think to say was “stop” but how could he stop when he wasn´t even doing anything to begin with? This time it was not his fault that your mind was in the gutter. 

“You have enough people touching you already,” You managed to string a few words. 

“Yeah, but it feels nicer when it´s you,” He opened his eyes, you could see the sincerity in them and you felt bad that you kind of just wanted to punch him and run away. 

You were also surprised by the sudden unexpected eye contact, which explains why you accidentally pulled one of his strands a bit harshly. WHAT WASN´T EXPLAINED THOUGH, WAS THE LOW MOAN HE LET OUT AND THE WAY HIS EYES CLOSED AS HIS MOUTH PARTED. OR THE WAY YOURS HUNG OPEN TOO AT THE SOUND OR THE WAY YOU COULDN´T STOP STARING AT THE STUPID MOLE ON HIS LIP. 

It was a moment of insanity, a few seconds when your soul was out of your body; when you tentatively pulled on his hair again, feeling his nails digging into the skin of your thighs and his breathing getting heavier, yours matching. 

“If you really don´t want us to fuck then you´re just being cruel right now,” He breathed out, eyes still closed as his forehead met your abdomen.  

“I don´t?” 

“Is that a question?” 

“No. I don´t. I think your hair is dry.” 

“It´s definitely not,” He argued, raising his head once again. “C´mon, finish it. No funny business, I promise.” 

You wanted to tell him it´s not him you were worried about, it’s the way your own body was betraying you that bothered you, but you took a deep breath and continued with the work, doing your best to ignore his eyes on you or how his hands were once again toying with your thighs or how his thighs were touching your legs or how he was centimeters away from you. 

Yeah, a lot of things to ignore. 

Was your bathroom always this small? 

“You smell nice.” 

“I shower once in a while,” You agreed. “And you said no funny business.” 

“I´m complimenting you, how is that sexual?” 

“It´s not,” You agreed. 

He smirked at you because he too was well aware of the tension, if the way his sweatpants were suddenly tight were anything to go by. Thankfully he didn´t answer because you don´t think you could continue to ignore it if he mentioned he was getting hard just by you drying his hair. 

Eventually, after what felt like days, you finally turned off the dryer and prayed he would agree to your suggestion, “You´re done. Wanna sleep?” 

“Nop, this is a slumber party.” 

“What? You want to have a pillow fight now or do facemasks and gossip?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Although the first option sounds fun, I was thinking we can watch something until we fall asleep.” 

Watch something. 

Until you fell asleep. 

In your bed. 

Sure, what could go wrong? 

“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked amusedly. 

“Building a barrier between our sides of the bed.” 

He laughed loudly at that, crawling into the bed too and taking the pillows from where you were organizing them, “Wooyoung!” 

“Shut up, you enjoyed cuddling once and you will enjoy it again.” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“What? Afraid you won´t be able to resist me? I thought we were just friends,” He teased. 

“Very funny-“ 

“Because if you´re interested we can just skip the foreplay and go straight to –“ 

“What do you want to watch?” 

You ignored his low chuckle, giving up on fighting for the pillows and getting comfortable on your bed so you could turn on the TV. 

“Community?” 

“Great,” You agreed between gritted teeth, opening the Netflix app and putting on the show from where you two had stopped it as Wooyoung fluffed the pillows behind his back next to you.  

This time he didn´t even ask before pulling you in between his legs, your back against his chest. You didn´t even fight it because honestly, what for? You simply groaned as you felt him searching for the light switch on the wall over your bed.  

“Don´t pretend you don´t enjoy it, I´ve got you all figured out now.” 

“Yeah yeah, believe what you want to.” 

“Shut up, I´m trying to watch the show.” 

You huffed, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms all at the same time. You knew it wasn´t at him you were annoyed – although he was sure making a great job at feeding into it.  

You also immediately regretted wearing shorts as the palms of his hands splayed over your thighs.  

“It´s too hot,” You complained, hoping he would let you go. 

Wooyoung simply stretched out one of his hands and grabbed the AC remote, turning it on before tossing it away and returning his palm to your thigh. His silence told you he was focused on the show and you truly wish you could say the same about yourself, but instead, your eyes were glued to the sight in front of you like it was a car wreck, not being able to look away no matter how much your brain ordered you to. Your knees were bent, your thighs almost touching your chest, so his hands were just right there in your line of sight, all veiny and calloused.  

The harder you tried to stir your mind away and pay attention to the TV, the more your brain looked like a Wattpad fanfic written by a 40-year-old who just got divorced and discovered sex wasn't just missionary. The conversation you had with Wooyoung about how the girls he fucked became literally obsessed with him kept flashing into your head and you were legitimately about to bite onto your fist and scream for 7 whole minutes.   

Your mental breakdown however was interrupted by the man behind you, who with no words started tracing his fingers – seemingly – unpresumptuously over your skin. You ignored it because you had no energy to fight it and as long as it stayed PG-rated it would be fine.  

The soft touches plus the very cold wind from the AC hitting you got goosebumps to erupt up your skin and you just felt how your nipples were suddenly sensitive against the fabric of your shirt and Wooyoung´s hand were just there, mere centimeters away and oh, you so desperately wanted him to touch them. In fact, you wanted it so badly you were fighting for your life to keep the uncomfortable squirming to a minimum.  

Thankfully, Wooyoung didn´t notice it – deep down you knew he was just pretending not to for your sake, but if he could, so would you.  

“Who do you think is hotter, Annie or Britta?” His voice suddenly, almost against your ear, shocked you. “Oh, jumpy, are we?” 

“Shut up, I was just startled.” 

“So?” 

“Britta.” 

“Same.” 

He went quiet once again, except now, when you thought his mind was once again focused on the show, his hands started getting braver. They escalated from just his fingers drawing shapes on the patch above your knees to suddenly coming down to the sensitive skin between your thighs. You jerked involuntarily even though he only traced his fingers about halfway down your legs. Wooyoung once again pretended to not notice your reaction and you pretended to not notice he was touching you.  

His fingers gently brushing the sides of your thighs all the way to your knees before you could feel the tip of his middle finger slowly grazing your skin down the inside of your thighs, lower and lower each time he came down. At this point your heart was beating so fast it was almost coming out of your throat, your breathing labored and sweat building up on your forehead even though the room was freezing cold.  

“She´s kind of annoying, though.” 

“Who?” You breathed out, honestly not even knowing your name anymore. 

“Britta.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

Silence once again.  

Attention back to the show. 

You had to control your whine of disappointment when he retreated his hands.  

Ok, you took the chance to breathe, count to 10 and give yourself a pep talk. You could do this. You would not fuck your best friend. If not because of your morals and because of your friendship, because fucking him would mean he won, and you would never give Wooyoung the satisfaction. 

Ok, you could do this. 

You could definitely do this. 

Wooyoung gently gathered your hair and pushed it over your right shoulder, the familiar goosebumps showing up once again at the way the tip of his fingers brushed against the skin of your neck.  

Yeah, you could not do this.  

The sound that came out of your mouth when his wet lips met the juncture between your neck and shoulder could only be described as a pinscher finding out it could bark. You were in fact shaking as much as those annoying tiny dogs are known for. 

You froze, not being able to react when you felt him sucking on your skin or when his tongue tried to soothe the pain his teeth left behind. Your core was clenching so hard it hurt. 

“Wooyoung,” Your voice came out as half plead half warning.  

“Hm?” He hummed against a different spot on your neck, and it made it a thousand times worse.  

 “We shouldn´t-” 

“Just tell me to stop and I will.” 

Except you couldn´t. Not when he found your sweet spot and grazed his teeth against it before gently sucking on it. This time you allowed yourself to squirm and you felt it at the same time you heard it; Wooyoung groaned as you accidentally pressed against him and figured out you were not the only one going insane. His dick was hard and now very much pulsing against your ass and lower back.  

Both of you realized you never told him to stop and you were fighting so hard to gain control of your body back as he kissed the vein on your neck - but it was all lost when his hands snaked around your torso and grabbed your boobs. You whimpered, shamefully, squeezing your legs together to try and relieve some of the throbbing.  

His kisses grew harsher, as he sucked one spot hard enough to leave a mark, the pad of his middle fingers toyed with your nipples and you simply couldn't pretend you didn´t want this to happen anymore, not with the way you could literally start dripping onto your bed any moment now.  

A gasp left your lips when his right hand grabbed onto your thigh and pulled your legs open. You felt his dick twitching when he saw the wet patch in the middle of your shorts. 

“Oh, princess,” He sighed, pressing against the stain in pure admiration. 

“Wooyoung-” 

“Tell me to stop.” 

He gave you no time to consider his words, pulling the bottom of your shorts and panties to the side and rubbing his middle finger down your slit to wet it. You carved your nails onto his thighs in return, doing your best to stay grounded. It didn´t even take a minute for you to understand why the prior girls who slept with Wooyoung became obsessed with him, you weren´t really doing anything yet and the second the pad of his finger found your clit while his other hand gently pressed down onto your lower stomach everything became even clearer. You threw your head back on his shoulder in pleasure as he rubbed figure eights against your clit. 

Yeah, you agreed to pretend nothing happened starting tomorrow, but you figured you would never be able to forget the sound of your best friend´s deep moan against your ear when he felt you around his finger for the first time. 

“Glad to see I´m not the only one going crazy,” He groaned against your ear - and when did his voice get so raspy? 

You whined once again, not really knowing what else to do when you were practically on the edge from a minute or two of stimulation. 

“Tell me to stop.” 

“Wooyoung-” 

“I love when you say my name.” 

Were you about to cry? 

At this point, you just wanted him to ignore you and throw you around and do whatever he wanted, but you knew he wouldn´t until you said so, and you were definitely not doing that. Although with every second that passed with his finger on you, that definitely was turning more into a probably.  

“I never told you.” 

“Wha- What?” 

“From all the ways I imagined this happening, I never told you my favorite.” 

“What is it?” 

“It´s the one where we´re in a sleepover and you´re so desperate that you can´t even go to the bathroom, so you just very quietly put your hands inside your shorts and touch yourself right next to me thinking that I´m asleep. And I pretend I am, but I can hear the small whimpers you try to hold back, I can feel the slight shake of the bed and I can hear how wet you are so clearly. Sometimes, I even imagine you would decide to use me, not even try to wake me up, just sit on my face and ride it until I pretend to wake up and finally eat you out until you´re crying and shaking.” 

When you literally had to hold yourself back from finishing at his words, you grabbed his hand and turned around on your knees, smashing your lips with no fanciness against his. He was quick to grab your ass and direct you to sit on top of his legs, your thighs on either side of his in the familiar position as your tongues met and you pulled the hairs on the back of his neck with all the frustration you had inside you. 

“We´re not fucking,” You informed in between labored breaths. 

“We don´t have to fuck, I just need you to sit on my face.” 

You never whined so loudly in your life before. 

That was the one single thing you have been dreaming about hearing for weeks now and you were so happy you could practically cry, in fact, you almost came right there without even being touched. 

The link to Part 2 is at the top! <3