#icarus writes mcu

[murdrdocs]

come into my bedroom

description. you and JOAQUÍN TORRES take a week long vacation to the beach together. just a week on the coast, spending time in each other's bubble, without falling for each other ... probably. visuals

includes. coworkers to friends to lovers, SMUT 18+ MDNI, reader has been kept as ambiguous as possible (hair type, skin color, body type, place of birth, etc), reader is able to tan, the location is ambiguous, slight spoilers for brave new world, takes place after bnw, protected p n v sex, oral (f receiving), soft dom! joaquín, reader is called "baby" a couple of times

wc. 12.3k+

a/n: title from champagne coast by blood orange. i tried to keep where they vacationed as ambiguous as possible, but it's definitely at least a little bit obvious. for my bsf who recently got back from miami. thanks to @luckypunklemonade for beta reading :D

You’re drunk. 

No, you’re not drunk. You’re too drunk, inching towards shitfaced. You’re still here, at least here enough to walk beside Joaquín down the street towards your hotel, but you’re not really here. You know you’re not exactly walking in a straight line, and you know where you’re heading, but you don’t know how long you’ve been walking. You could’ve left the club five minutes or 50 minutes ago. 

You weren’t going to get this drunk. Honest. You and Joaquín were just going to go out, have a few drinks, and go back to your separate rooms. 

But the music was good, and the drinks were good, and the people were good, and suddenly you and Joaquín are drunk and navigating your way down the street. Well, he’s navigating your way. You’re just trying to keep up with his long strides. 

He walks a little in front of you the entire time, slightly more rigid, and a little less drunk than you are. You’ll probably be at his level in another half hour, that is if you get something in your stomach by then. Every so often, he looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re still there. You thought about hooking a hand around his elbow to keep him close, but the thought entered your mind and left before you could act on it. 

There’s not much small talk happening, but you don’t mind it that way. You’re focused on making your feet pick up and land one (mostly) in front of the other. Actually, you’re focused on walking and finding an open food spot on the way. 

One part is going fine, the walking part, but you’re still blearily searching for something to eat. You pass bars and closed businesses, restaurants that require reservations weeks in advance, one of them you think you and Joaquín actually have a table at later this week, but nothing quick and greasy. Which is exactly what you need before calling it a night. 

Joaquín calls your name and you hum. 

“You up for stopping in right here?” He points to the side and you look around his wide shoulders to find your saving grace. It’s like he read your mind, or maybe you’d been audible harping on about wanting something to eat the entire time. Right now, either seems plausible. 

Either way, you nod and let Joaquín hold the door open for you. 

You and Joaquín end up sitting across from each other at a tiny outdoor metal table. With the wind blowing against your skin as you’re sipping freezing cold water from a to-go cup, you finally realize how hot you’ve been this entire time. You lift your skirt up a bit to press your thigh against the cool metal and a sigh pushes out front your lips. Your eyes fall shut as you just sit in the moment. 

“You still drunk?” Joaquín speaks from across the table. 

You open your eyes and destroy your brief peace to glare at him as you wrap your lips around your straw. “What do you think?” you ask him only when the cool liquid has slid down your throat. 

He laughs. “First night here and you’ve already gotten shitfaced.” He shakes his head as if he’s ashamed of you, but the playful glint in his eyes keeps you at ease. 

“It’s your fault!” you accuse. “You’re the one who made friends with that couple. They kept buying us drinks.” 

Joaquín throws his hands out to the side in a surrender. “I’m not going to say no to free drinks. Don’t blame me!”

He’s right. Even if he wasn’t, you aren’t in the arguing mood anymore. You would rather finish the greasy taco sitting limp in your hands. And you do.  

You’re not being very attractive about it, though, you can tell from the way the juice slides down your fingers and around your mouth, but that’s not really the point to all of this. 

Besides, you and Joaquín are just coworkers and friends. Just two coworkers/friends on vacation together. Sitting across from each other in front of a taco spot, fighting for sobriety as you occasionally lock eyes between large bites. There’s no reason for you to be attractively drunk eating when you’re only with your coworker/friend. 

You finish the last bite, wipe around your mouth with a crumpled napkin and throw it onto your empty tray, looking up to find Joaquín already looking at you. He has this look on his face, nothing different from the one he usually wears—soft eyes and a softer smile—but it feels different this time. Maybe it’s the city lighting and your drunkenness that’s skewing the meaning. You’re going to blame both factors for the flutter in your heart, too.

Neither of you say anything for a moment and in that moment, a thought flashes across your mind. It’s quick and fleeting, but still strong enough to evoke a reaction. Just a thought of you leaning over this small table and pressing your lips to Joaquín’s. And the thought was truly fleeting, but you bring it back and sit in it to imagine how he would reciprocate with his hands on your lower back, big palms resting on the strip of skin between your top and skirt, and he would taste like lime and alcohol and when you pulled away he would have a look almost identical to this one on his face. 

Joaquín’s eyebrows push together, skewing the soft look he wore before and knocking you out of your drunken trance. 

“What’s that look?” he asks. 

You shrug, feigning nonchalance. “What look?”

His gaze lingers for a moment, but then he licks his lips and cleans up his area. “You think you’re sober enough to walk back now?” 

You scoff and attempt to make a point by quickly standing to your feet. When you wobble, it’s because your shoe didn’t land right on the concrete. Honest!

You have a crush on Joaquín. 

You don’t know why you’re realizing it here and now—laying in a hotel bed on vacation first thing in the morning. You don’t even know how long this crush has been here, but you know for sure you have a crush on Joaquín Torres, your partner/coworker/friend. 

You thought your little image from last night was fleeting, nothing but a drunken thought that you let yourself imagine for less than a minute, but it proved to be way more than that because when you got back to your room, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

As you took your makeup off, you thought about Joaquín waiting in your room for you to finish, snuggled under the blankets and scrolling through the channels on the TV until you came out of the bathroom in his shirt. As you climbed in the shower you imagined him standing at the sink brushing his teeth and humming that song he’s always singing but you never ask the name of. As you finally climbed into bed and clicked the lights off, you imagined fighting for covers with him and sleepily talking about your plans for the next day. 

It was so domestic and loving and absolutely sickening and unexpected. 

Well, maybe you should have expected it. At least a little. 

Joaquín is kind of the perfect guy. Everyone in your life made sure you were aware of it. He was funny, attractive, hard working, and easy to get along with. Even his flaws—his incessant nature and occasional annoyance for one—was quickly reworked as lovable in your head. 

You struggled with falling asleep for at least a half hour last night, and as soon as you knocked out, you were out. You might not have remembered your dreams but you knew deep in your mind and body that he was there. 

Just as he is here now, standing in front of you early  in the morning, wearing a bright smile and an athletic set. 

“No,” you sternly shut him down before he can even say anything. 

Joaquín’s jaw drops and he wears a mixture of shock and humor. “C’mon, you didn’t even let me say anything.”

“I know what you’re gonna say, Torres. I’m not going to some ‘sick workout class’ when we’re supposed to be on vacation.” 

“Oh, so we’re on last name basis again?” He crosses his arms over his chests and widens his stance. “I thought we moved past that.” 

“If you ask me to come with you then we’re back to last name basis, yeah.” 

He pouts and it’s so stupidly cute that you want to slam the door in his face. “Don’t let the hangover speak for you. I know you secretly wanna come workout with me.” 

You squint at him accusingly, leaning into the doorframe. “‘m not hungover.” 

“Uh-huh. How’s the headache?” He’s obviously not buying your shit.

“I don’t have a headache.” Bullshit and you both know it. 

“How’d you sleep?” He asks you instead, this time lacking any suspense. For a moment, he seems like he’s actually wondering how you slept. 

“Like a baby.”

“Then that means you should be energized enough to go for a workout. It won’t be bad. It’s only an hour.” 

You shake your head. “That’s an hour that I could be sleeping.” 

“And basically waste the whole day away? That doesn’t sound like the partner I know and love.”

You don’t let your mind linger on that word, especially when you know he doesn’t mean it like that. But still, knowing that Joaquín has some sort of love for you makes your chest feel all airy and glittery. 

“Yeah because that partner isn’t here right now. We’re on vacation.” 

Joaquín doesn’t respond. Not verbally at least. Instead, he tilts his head and fully pouts, lips pushed out and eyes big. He’s not backing down and truthfully, it might be better for you just to say yes and halfass the entire session. 

Finally, he reasons with you. “I’ll buy you a smoothie afterwards. Whatever overpriced shit you want. Fair?” 

Fair enough. 

Compared to what you’re used to, the workout is quick, but it’s certainly not painless. The instructor, some woman with much more energy than you’re willing to exert on vacation, seemed to find pleasure in kicking your asses. For a brief moment there when you were catching your breath and wiping your forehead on a towel, you wondered if she could be some big and bad super villain hiding in plain sight. That would explain the inhuman stamina, and the almost eerie cheery personality, but other than that your theory didn’t make much sense. And even if it did, you were on vacation. Now wasn’t the time to seek out trouble that wasn’t presenting itself. 

The only thing that pushed you through the entire thing was looking over at Joaquín, one because of how attractive he looked with sweat glistening along his tanned skin, and two because you refused to let him show you up, even if the workout was his idea. 

You will admit, though, that every time he lifted his shirt to wipe his forehead, your knees did feel just a little weaker and your last rep in a set was not nearly as strong as it could’ve been when you heard him grunting beside you. 

You couldn’t understand it. You and Joaquín workout together all the time. You train together, sometimes with Isaiah and Sam, sometimes with friends of friends, sometimes with just each other. You’re used to seeing him sweat, you’re used to hearing his grunts and breaths, you’re used to all of it. But something about all of this happening now is making you lose your mind. 

As soon as the class ended, relief entered your entire body. 

The relief certainly didn’t last for long, though. 

Since you did what Joaquín wanted to do that morning, he did what you wanted to do right after. Before you could even really think about it, you happily suggested sunbathing on the beach until you were too hot or hungry to continue, whichever came first. 

It wasn’t until Joaquín slyly grinned and sang your name that you realized what you signed up for. 

“You tryna see me shirtless?” he teased at the time. And you rolled your eyes and called him a freak and continued walking down the hall towards your rooms, but as soon as you were behind the closed door you were digging into your suitcase to find the cutest swimsuit you brought. 

Not that you were trying to impress Joaquín or anything. 

As soon as your bare toes are sinking into warm sand, you slowly feel yourself relax. Slowly. 

Laying on your back in a swimsuit that was a nice mix between cute and attractive, your eyes closed, your ears full of a playlist you made just for this occasion, the sun radiating down on your skin. It’s easy to forget everything laying just like that. The breeze cools your skin as soon as you get too warm, the sun heats you back up as soon as you get too cold. Absolutely nothing to worry about except how long you’ve been laying on one side and when you should flip over. 

Absolutely no stressors. 

Until Joaquín speaks. 

“Do me a favor and get my back?” 

You peek an eye open and lift your sunglasses up to see Joaquín standing next to you, holding out a bottle of sunscreen. 

You don’t mean to hesitate, but you still do. It takes a moment to process his question, and it takes another moment to find an answer, even though the clear one is yes. If he wasn’t standing there without a shirt, wearing forest green trunks that hung low on his hips, and his skin wasn’t glistening in the daylight, it wouldn’t have taken nearly half the time to help him out. 

“What would you do without me?” You try not to let your voice falter while you watch him massage sunscreen onto his chest, but you’re sure the little dip at the end of your sentence was noticeable. 

Joaquín just tilts his head and tosses the bottle into your lap.  

It’s not awkward. At least you don’t think it’s awkward. You rub the sunscreen on Joaquín’s skin as quickly as possible, trying to ignore the sturdiness of his muscles beneath your hand. You know how fit he is, it’s impossible for you not to know since you’ve been working with him for a while now. But knowing and knowing are two different things. 

Seeing is not the same as feeling. 

Feeling his muscles as you work them beneath your fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips, grazing your hand lightly over the scars littering his skin, only lingering for a second on the life altering scar that trails down from the side of his neck to his shoulder. You try not to touch it too much. He hasn’t talked to you much about the accident, not since you visited the hospital with high quality food instead of flowers for him. Even then, he joked around it, even if you saw sorrow in his eyes like you’d never seen Joaquín wear before. 

You rubbed the sunscreen down his back and finished above the waistband of his trunks. Not even a second later did he look over his shoulder and down at you through a squint. “Now let me do you,” he urged without leaving much room for argument. 

Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t make room. 

You shook your head. “‘m okay, I already got it.” 

Joaquín turns around to face you completely. He laughs through a quick puff of air, his lips pulled up at the corners. “Barely. I saw you struggling over there. C’mon, let me top it off for you.” 

His hands take the sunscreen bottle from you, but he doesn’t put any in his palm. Not yet. For now, he stares at you, eyebrows lifted, waiting for you to give him the final answer. 

You turn around, moving whatever needs to be moved to give him basically full reign over your back. 

The first touch makes you jump, even if you were expecting it. You hear him quietly apologize under his breath, and you quietly brush it off, but you aren’t sure if your response was heard or if it was carried off with the wind. 

He continues in silence. 

You’ve had Joaquín’s hands on you before. A hand clasped in yours to pull you up, a touch fixing your posture when he was showing you a new trick Isaiah taught him before, a finger jabbed into your side when he walked past you. But again, this is much different. 

Having Joaquín’s bare hands on your bare back makes you tense up, and you hope he doesn’t notice it. He rubs with a lot more attention to detail than you did; he reaches beneath the straps of your top with curt permission, and even asks if he can get the backs of your arms too. 

By the time he finishes, you’ve started to relax just a bit, to the point where the expected disappearance of his hand on your back feels unwanted. Joaquín’s hands are big and soothing, you could do with them on your skin for the rest of your life. 

Of course, you don’t tell him that. Not just because it would be completely inappropriate, but because he would never let you live it down. He would go the lengths to change his phone contact to Joaquín “best hands there ever were” Torres. 

Which is just a step below Joaquín “best co-worker there ever was” Torres. 

Somehow, you manage to make it through the rest of the beach day without much trouble. You tan until you don’t think you could tan anymore. Joaquín lays next to you most of the time, besides when he began to feel fidgety and he ran to grab both of you drinks, and pre-cut fruit for you, as an excuse to stretch his legs. You used the few minutes of solitude to text your group chat about the agony you accidentally put yourself into. Agony that was only made worse by Joaquín coming back with two drinks in one hand, fruit still in its rind in the other, and his newly tanned skin glistening from sweat in the sunlight. 

Shortly after, you had to leave and take a cold shower to get your head on straight. 

You think you’re doing pretty good at ignoring your feelings. You know you have a crush on him, but acting on it would change nearly too much, and a lot in your lives—his especially—has already changed. It’s not a leap you think you’re ready to make yet, so you’ve been ignoring your feelings. 

Over the course of the past couple of days, you and Joaquín have been spending your time doing every relaxing thing you could think of. Decompressing at that same club from the first night, but leaving as soon as the crowd proved to be very different from before—more rowdy for the hell of it and less generous in general. Eating at trendy, overrated lunch spots, or underrated hole-in-the-wall dinner spots. Spending a little too much money on new clothes but enabling each other anyway, because the shirt might look similar to another one that you already have but that shirt back home wasn’t that shirt there in your hands, so you needed it. 

There were just two nights left and then you would have to pack all your stuff, somehow fit in more new clothes than you anticipated, and return to the real world. One that entailed mission debriefs and learning how to work new tech. The only thing you were looking forward to about the real world was Sam, since he happened to be a natural barrier between you and Joaquín. It’ll be hard to focus on how badly you wanted to be underneath the Falcon whenever Captain America was in the vicinity providing tasks that required your full attention. 

But that is days away. For now, you’re going to try and enjoy the remainder of your all too quick vacation as much as possible. Even though you’re becoming more and more tense as you go on, a tension that your fingers beneath your panties hasn’t been able to fix yet. 

You didn’t think your behavior was noticeable, but Joaquín notices more than you thought. 

The two of you are walking side by side down the boardwalk. You’ve been fairly silent throughout, but not for any particular reason. Silence made sense to you, there wasn’t much to talk about right now. 

Apparently, Joaquín felt different. 

“What’s up with you?”

You furrow your eyebrows, quickly trying to figure out if you did something wrong between the walk from your hotel to the walk at the start of the boardwalk. Coming up short, you ask for clarification. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean why’re you so tense? Isn’t this relaxing for you?”

Yeah, this is relaxing for you. Walking side by side, letting the beach breeze blow your dress in the wind. Showered, fed, at the end of your vacation, this moment you exist in is like heaven. It’s a little too much like heaven, a perfect plane where the guy you’ve been crushing on is wearing a button up with the first two buttons undone so you can see the fresh tan he has and the gold glint of the chain he wears instead of his dog tags. 

It’s hard to relax when right beside you is someone you’ve wanted so badly, and he looks like everything you’ve ever wanted. 

“I’m not tense,” you finally respond. Although it’s a lie. 

“You so are,” Joaquín counters, “let me show you what you look like walking around here.” He takes a few quick strides ahead of you, and then pulls his shoulders up to his ears, straightens his spine, and walks with a little too much purpose. He looks odd and menacing. And definitely not like you. 

You tell him as such. 

He turns around to face you, grinning and walking backwards. “Okay I did take some creative liberties there, but you do look tense.” He turns back around and slows until he returns to a stride right beside you again. “What’s wrong? Do you wanna do something else?”

You shake your head. “No. This is fine. I like doing this.” 

Joaquín takes a moment and you see him look down at you from the corner of your eye. “Then what’s up? Anything you wanna get off your chest?” 

God, you should just tell him the truth. Well, not the full truth. 

Joaquín is chill personified. If you told him that you’re wound up sexually, he would likely make a joke about it, then brush it off and avoid asking you about it again. Friend to friend, you could just let off some steam—verbally!, although the other option is much more preferable—and then hopefully feel better. 

But just imagining yourself saying those words makes you tense even more and you have nothing to do but shake the thought out of your mind completely. 

“No. ‘m okay. I was just … thinking. But not anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything for a second and you don’t know if he believes your lie. But he moves past it. He points to an ice cream shop to your right, and you swerve for the window. 

You and Joaquín end up sitting side by side on the beach, willingly letting sand press into your nice clothes but neither of you care much. You have a dinner reservation soon, and you’ve just been killing time—and also your appetite, but you and Joaquín both swore to eat dinner. Even if you’re devouring ice cream cones. Truthfully, this is a perfect way to end your night, sitting by your partner's side, letting the world exist around you both. 

The breeze blows against your skin. You and Joaquín sit with your bare toes digging into the sand, shoes having been discarded to the side, your shoulders close enough to brush against the other if either of you move. You’re looking off at the ocean, watching people enjoy the evening air around you both as you sit in a moment of stillness. There’s paragliders, a few jet skis, some boats, and a large cruise ship sailing into the port. 

Joaquín points off at the ship with the hand not holding his waffle cone.

“We should cruise for our next vacation.”

You turn to face him, tilting your head to the side. “Our next vacation?”

Joaquín nods. “Yeah. We should make this a regular thing. You know we work well together.” 

That you do. You grin and knock your shoulder into his.  “Let’s hope Sam doesn’t start feeling left out.”

Joaquín laughs with a quick exhale through his nose. “He’s definitely having the time of his life back home.” 

You’re unable to stop yourself from grinning as you imagine it—Sam working back home, likely enjoying the rare lull in the terror that the three of you have been fighting and will continue fighting. “He’s probably blasting Marvin Gaye over the speakers in the office.” 

This gets a real laugh from Joaquín, likely because he, too, can see it perfectly. 

Your laughter dies down and for a few moments, you and Joaquín sit in comfortable silence. 

Then, “You been having fun?” 

You hum. “Yeah. It’s nice not having to deal with—” you gesture vaguely in the air and Joaquín nods beside you. “Especially after everything.” You don’t say it exactly, but you know Joaquín still understands you. He knows you’re talking about his accident. 

You weren’t even the one in danger, having stayed grounded on the ship, but the horrors still settle deep in your heart some nights. Things are repaired, or currently being repaired in the case of D.C, but everything still feels so fragile to you sometimes. 

Which is why you’re so glad to be here with him at your side, reminding you that he’s okay. Everything’s okay. 

Joaquín takes a breath as if he’s about to speak. You turn to look at him. He’s staring off at the sunset, his face mostly stoic except for a slight twitch in his eyes, a flare of his nostrils, and his jaw clenching. “For a moment there when I was falling out of the sky, and when I could barely move my body on my own in the hospital I was worried that I wouldn’t get the chance to see places like this again. To … you know…” he hesitates and you’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have to keep going if he doesn’t want to. You and Joaquín have avoided talking about the day his heart stopped, and you don’t have to start now. But then he inhales through his teeth and continues. “To see home.” 

Your breath hitches and your eyes sting. Without thinking too much about it, you scoot closer into Joaquín’s side, tilting your head and resting it on his shoulder. Immediately upon contact, Joaquín wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you fully into his side. 

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Joaquín.” 

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” he says your name at the end, echoing you but somehow sounding more earnest. More meaningful. 

He places a kiss on the top of your head and in that moment you decide you could stay here just like this for the rest of your life. It all settles in your body at one time, the realization that you want Joaquín, you’ve known that for a while, but you want more than his body. 

You want Joaquín Torres in his entirety. 

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about?” he continues, “Is that why you’ve been tense? Because I promise I’m okay. It was scary for a bit but my heart’s fine and I feel fine physically—”

“No. It’s not that, Joaquín. I promise I was just a little tense but I’m good now, too.”

He nods once. “Okay.” He pulls his phone out and checks the time. He doesn’t say anything for a while as if he doesn’t want to disrupt the energy, but he speaks eventually. “If we wanna make our reservation we gotta leave now.” 

He stands to his feet and puts a hand out for you to grab. You take a moment to look at the sun setting and to finish the rest of your ice cream in one bite, then you take another moment to look at him. With resolution, you place your hand in Joaquín’s and let him pull you to your feet. 

Yeah, ignoring your feelings isn’t working anymore. 

It’s not like you’re exactly able to ignore how bad you want Joaquín when you’re at dinner with him, sitting in such an intimate setting—sat at a small table tucked in the corner of the restaurant next to a window looking out on the street, his tan skin lit by candlelight and ambient low lighting around the both of you. 

Having just come from the beach, the two of you are still wearing the same outfits (now without as many grains of sand as possible), meaning you have an even better view of Joaquín’s chest and the chain sitting right below his collarbones. He looks so nice and put together—his curls out more than you’ve ever seen them before, his face a little unshaven and adding an older look to him. 

God, he’s so pretty, it’s impossible for you not to think so. Not when you’re faced with him like this. 

Joaquín’s looking at the menu, acting like he didn’t look at it on his phone two hours ago. You’re holding the menu open, acting like you’re still deciding between two options, when really you’re just trying to decide if you should make a move or not. 

When Joaquín looks up, you quickly look down, furrowing your eyebrows and pouting as you stare at words that aren’t processing.  

Joaquín calls your name and you hum without lifting your eyes. When he doesn’t say anything immediately, you glance up. Not only is he already looking at you, but he’s looking at you with a certain look in his eyes. Infatuation, admiration, something else that you don’t wanna name, for it feels like too much of a jump.

“What?” you ask, a shy grin splitting your face open as your skin starts to warm. 

Joaquín shrugs like he’s going to say the most casual thing ever. Instead, he tells you, “Nothing. I just wanted to tell you how pretty you look.”

Oh my godddd. 

What are you supposed to say to that? Everything thus far on this vacation has been widely platonic, and anything crossing that barrier has been nothing but a hopeful figment of your imagination. But his words, paired with the way they were delivered, feels like a step towards a future you want to live in. 

But maybe you’re overthinking it. Joaquín is honest and earnest when he wants to be and maybe now is one of those moments. 

You wrap your hand around your glass of ice water and bring it to your lips, pausing just long enough to respond. “What is it? The tan?”

Joaquín nods but that look in his eyes is still there. Chocolate brown dances across your figure before settling back on your own eyes. “Yeah … among other things. The tan and the color of your dress,” a bright colored fabric that hung loosely over your body and dipped around your back, you chose it especially because you knew it would look good on your skin, “and just you.” 

You gulp down water, trying to contain yourself. 

“Thanks, Joaquín,” you finally respond, trying to remain as casual as possible. “You look good, too.” 

Joaquín grins and you can see the man you’re used to coming back to himself. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and dusts off invisible particles. “I clean up well don’t I?”

You halfheartedly roll your eyes and return back to the menu. That interaction has already been catalogued for you to hyper analyze in the shower later. 

You thought that interaction was mind boggling, but the one you find yourself in later is ten times worse. 

You’ve both steadily worked through your plates, giggling and laughing about any and everything you could think of. The waiter mentioned the option of drinks at one point, and you looked to Joaquín for his reaction, wanting to see if that’s how the night was going to go. Not exactly as drunk as you were the first night, but at least a little buzz. When Joaquín politely shook his head, you did the same, and continued to sip your water instead. 

You do, however, decide to split two desserts. 

“Can I say something?” Joaquín speaks whenever he scrapes his fork across the decadent chocolate dessert sitting in the center of the table. 

You hum, grabbing a forkful of the fresher, citrus dessert instead. “Depends. How stupid is it gonna be?”

“Um … let me say it and then we can decide.”

You sit back in your seat, thereby giving him the floor. 

He takes his time chewing and swallowing before he goes to respond. “I’m shocked that we’ve been together every day and night of this trip.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What d’you mean?”

“Like we haven’t … been with other people.”

His words shock you. “Is that what you think of me, Joaquín?” 

You don’t feel upset, or particularly offended. You’re just a little confused on why Joaquín has been thinking about your sex life while the two of you have been on vacation together. Sure, you’ve been thinking of the same thing, but his sex life hasn’t exactly crossed your mind. Besides whenever you pictured the two of your sex lives merging into one. 

But now that he’s presented the idea, you, too, are shocked that things have been contained to just the two of you this entire week. It’s not that you expected Joaquín to sleep around, you actually didn’t know what to expect when it came to his dating life. You did know that Joaquín was attractive and people other than yourself thought so, and he obviously knew it as well, but it’s unexpected that you didn’t see him intentionally ogling at least one other person on your nights out. 

You don’t know why he would think the same of you, though. 

“No!” he’s quick to defend himself, “But I wouldn’t judge you if that’s how you wanted to spend your vacation. I mean I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You’re digging yourself further and further into a hole, Torres.” 

He laughs. “Yeah, I can tell.”

A moment goes by and you sip your water. The air here feels open, but certainly not casual. You feel like you can tell the truth in this intimate atmosphere, and your words would hold intentional weight. 

You take the jump. “I didn’t wanna be with anyone else. I liked being with you.”

Joaquín looks surprised. “Really? So you preferred beach trips and coffee shops and working out over a hot hookup?”

You shrug. “I haven’t been interested in hooking up with anyone else.” 

His eyebrows lift in the center. “Anyone else?”

Fuck. 

It seems you have joined Joaquín in that hole, but you don’t mind being here. It’s about time you did something, right? You don’t bother responding, at least not verbally. Instead, you just look at Joaquín over the rim of your glass, sincerely hoping that he’s starting to understand. 

Before any more progress can be made the waiter comes back with the check and you’re already reaching into your bag for your wallet, verbally chastising Joaquín before he can even reach for the bill. 

Quiet returns to you both during the walk back to your hotel. It feels natural this time, likely because you’re not speaking, but it isn’t silent. Cars against asphalt as they drive down the street beside you, music spilling out of establishments that line the way, the automated voice of the pedestrian crossing pole when Joaquín presses the button for the both of you. There’s not anything being said, but there doesn’t need to be; much is being communicated through the energy radiating off of your body. 

Walking closer to each other than you had ever before, elbows grazing, a lightness to your bodies even if you both indulged a little too much over dinner. Everything just feels so right, even if there’s still an emptiness inside of you. Even if you leave this trip without getting laid, you’ll still feel fulfilled because you and your partner are closer than you’ve ever been before. Though, after existing in this bubble with only him, it’s going to be hard to return to your normal life and let other people in. 

A car honks and skirts to a stop. Before you can even realize what just happened, Joaquín’s already throwing an arm over the front of your torso, his face turned to the car that almost (wrongfully) hit the two of you. He yells something at them and blindly grabs your hand, pulling you in front of him and pushing you to the sidewalk and out of the street. 

He mutters something under his breath, but you don’t hear it. “You good?” he asks at full volume. He stands next to you but still holds onto your hand. 

“Yeah. We’ve been through worse than almost getting floored by a Benz, right?”

He laughs and continues leading the way back to the hotel. 

Your hand stays in his the entire time.

You and Joaquín make it all the way inside of the hotel with your hands still clasped together. They don’t part until an unattended child runs between your bodies, forcing you to separate. 

You end up standing in front of the elevator with the up button pushed. It dings every few seconds, an indicator of its steady descent, but it makes a few stops along the way. While you wait, you lean your shoulder into the wall next to it, crossing your arms over your chest and your legs at the ankle as you look at Joaquín standing across from you. 

He speaks first. “You wanna go out again tonight?  End the week with a bang?”

You shake your head. Your eyes are big, your lips are pulled into a soft smile, your entire expression is soft. Fuck hiding it, you’re done pretending. 

“Nah. I’d rather stay in tonight.”

Joaquín nods and tucks his hands in his front pockets. “Alright. Together or separate?”

“Together.”

His eyebrows lift as if he’s shocked, but there’s a little glint in his eyes. You think he’s starting to catch on. 

“Okay,” he drags the last syllable out and shifts his stance. He clears his throat before he speaks again. “What d’you wanna do?”

The elevator door opens and you and Joaquín stand out of the way to let people come out. As soon as everyone has cleared out, the two of you enter the elevator alone and you push the button to shut the door before anyone else can come around the corner. With the doors closing you turn to face Joaquín to see him already looking at you. 

You smile up at him and he smiles down at you. 

You take a step closer to him and he takes a step closer to you. 

You reach a hand out to his face, hesitating, and then he nods just before he reaches a hand out and places it on your waist. 

And then finally, your lips press against his. 

The first kiss is tentative. It’s testing. Your lips press together, you stay like that for a moment, and then you pull away. The two of you stare at each other, Joaquín’s expression as soft and docile as it always is. You think you’re mirroring him in this moment. 

Then, without any words exchanged, you both move towards each other again. Your heads are tilted and without much trouble at all, your faces slot together nearly perfectly. This kiss is more exploratory. It’s open mouthed, teetering towards a messiness that you’re sure you’ll both fully succumb to by the end of the night. At least, you hope so. 

You don’t have much time, you’ve realized that as soon as the elevator dings the first time to indicate its ascent, therefore you’re trying to get what you can while you can. You throw your arms over Joaquín’s shoulders and hook them around his neck, pulling him down towards you as you tilt yourself up into him. His body curves to engulf yours in his warmth, but he kisses you like he has all the time in the world. 

He kisses you like he means it, like there’s more than one mutually shared goal at the end of this motivating him. 

It’s hard not to give in to the slow and longing way Joaquín kisses you. You don’t even try resisting it at a certain point. Instead, you press your chest up into his and lean up on your toes to get more of him, yet not initiating a change in the pace at all. You like the slow way Joaquín’s lips move against yours. You feel much more this way. 

Your fingers lay across the back of his neck and just as they start to inch up into the faded part of his haircut, the elevator dings and announces your floor. 

You and Joaquín separate with clear hesitance in the movement. The two of you stare at each other, unmoving, just looking in each other’s eyes. His eyes look darker than you’ve ever seen them before. If you got closer, you think you would see his pupils blown out. From here, though, you see his desire in other ways—the flush on his cheeks, the prominence of his chest rising and falling, the hint of your lip products that have rubbed off on his lips. 

The elevator door starts to shut and Joaquín is forced into making the first move. He slots his arm between the doors just before they close and he stays there when they open. He turns to look at you, tilts his head in a beckon, and holds his hand out for you to grab.

The walk to your rooms feels much longer than it usually does. You try to make it go as fast as possible, skittering ahead of Joaquín as fast as your impractical sandals would allow, but you’re trying not to look too eager all the while. Still, when you reach the number you’ve memorized for the week and turn around to look at him, he has a slight smile of amusement on his face. 

You’re already searching into your bag for your key when you ask, “Yours or mine?”

Joaquín reaches around you for the handle to the door without speaking. You watch him press the key card to the sensor and push the door handle down just as you feel your fingers find the piece of plastic. 

“We gave each other one of each when we checked in, remember? Just in case.” comes his unprompted explanation. And now that you’ve been reminded, you do remember. Your key to Joaquín’s room has been sitting on the dresser forgotten the entire week. You know he wouldn’t have done it, not without your explicit consent, but you wish Joaquín had used the key to his advantage once this week. You wish he would have acted on the tension between you both, the tension that you’re finally realizing has been reciprocated this entire time. 

But now it’s happening. There’s no reason to complain when you’re getting what you wanted. 

His hands are on your hips as he leads you into the room, your bag is thrown to the floor and your shoes are kicked off of your feet. Your body is turned at his will, your eyes meet his as he lazily grins  down at you. His tongue flicks out over his lips in a quick and smooth movement, and at a much slower pace, you lean back in to press your lips back to his. 

Joaquín’s hands automatically latch onto your lower back, one warm palm pressed into the thin fabric of your dress and the other settling right on your bare skin in the opening. Meanwhile, you start working on his shirt, popping button after button through the holes. You stop when you’re halfway down, not on your own accord. 

You’re forced to stop when Joaquín slots his hands behind your thighs and he easily lifts you up. You squeal into the kiss on instinct. 

There’s a moment where both of you are grinning against each other’s lips and it just feels so right. It feels incredibly natural to be doing this, to be smiling when you’re kissing Joaquín, even though nearly everything else about this situation isn’t natural for the two of you (your erect nipples rubbing against his chest, your panties stuck to your cunt, the very faint brush of his cock stiff in his pants that you get on the journey up). 

“You’re just showing off,” you half-heartedly chide. 

Joaquín shrugs and walks you back to the bed. “Maybe just a little.” He places you down, kneeling between your legs and finishing off the remaining buttons on his shirt. “You love it, though.”

You don’t admit it verbally, but the way you shamelessly ogle his chest when he pulls the shirt off says everything. 

As soon as his shirt is gone, he places a hand on your ankle, slowly inching your dress up a few inches before he stops and looks at you. His expression is open, you can tell what he’s asking without words. But for good measure, he includes them. 

“Can I keep going?”

You nod, eager and unashamed. “Yeah. Keep going.”

He starts to push the bright fabric further and further up your legs, speaking to you as he continues. “You gotta let me know if …” his words taper off when he sees the first hint of your panties, and you don’t know exactly what he’s seeing, but it makes him speechless for a moment and your ego inflates. 

“I’ll let you know if …?” Cockiness is audible in your words but he doesn’t comment on it. 

Joaquín blinks and comes back to himself. “If you wanna stop, or if you want something changed. We gotta communicate.” 

“M’kay.” 

And with that, Joaquín pushes the fabric completely over your hips and he’s met with your panties. They’re a bright color that compliments the color of your dress, and, consequently, your tanned skin. He swears under his breath and although you don’t hear him clearly at all, you’re pretty sure it wasn’t in English. 

You sit up fully and slip your dress over your torso with Joaquín’s help. He lets the fabric drop to the floor without looking, his eyes are focused solely on your chest. 

You’re laying back on your elbows, elevated just enough to look at him. You stare at his eyes, even if you aren’t making eye contact, while he leans up to hover over you. His head dips and he presses a single kiss in the center of your chest and repeats the action right over each side of your ribcage. The tip of his nose grazes your breast and instinctively you arch up towards him. When he pulls away just enough to look up at you, you see him smiling.

You could beg, but the night has only begun. You decide to save that for later. For now, you huff and stick your spine back to the mattress. 

Joaquín places a hand around your side and dips his head back down, this time higher than before. When he latches his lips around your nipple, a little gasp breaks from between your lips. He lets his teeth scrape against the bud, alternating between giving you pressure and giving you wet heat from his tongue. By the time he switches to your other nipple, you’re already desperate for a true relief focused on your cunt. His lips travel upwards, brushing against your skin throughout the journey, until he’s pressing them into the side of your neck and under your jaw. You let him continue upwards, you let him kiss you a bit more, but you can only go so long without real, fruitful stimulation. And maybe another time after this (circumstances willing) you would love to prolong everything. 

But right now you need to get fucked, whatever that could entail. 

You buck your hips up and end up catching the bulge in Joaquín’s pants where his zipper lies. You think he’ll catch on that way, and maybe he does, but he just chooses to ignore it. Either way, you send him a hint and Joaquín doesn’t do anything about it. He continues kissing you, he tweaks your nipples and slots a knee between your legs, all of which you’re grateful for since it is a stepping stone in the right direction. But you need stimulation, you need to get off, and the slow crawl is slowly driving you crazy. 

You pull away from Joaquín to call his name. He responds with a gruff yeah that immediately settles deep in your gut. 

“I need more. Please.” 

He grins right in your face. The expression almost looks wicked on him for the first time ever. He has the power here right now and he’s obviously letting it go to his head. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks while his hand slides down between your bodies until his thick fingers can slip between your clothed folds. 

His question was rhetorical (and smug but that’s besides the point), yet you still find yourself going to respond. Your lips part, you can feel the corners turning down as you prepare to say something just as smug back to him, but then he presses down and quickly finds your clit after a moment of fumbling. As far as words go, you’re silent. Nothing but sounds slip from your mouth from that point onwards. 

Joaquín toys with your clit. He starts with one finger, just the pad of what you think might be his middle finger, and when that has you forcing your hips up into his touch, he adds a second finger. With two fingers, he has more space to work with, resulting in larger circles right over the most sensitive part of you. He speeds up, too. 

Your back arches and you dig your nails into the sheets. You know what you want to ask for, it's simple and you’d already said the word in this space, but it gets trapped in your throat this time. You’re close already. Yeah, you’d been getting yourself off throughout the week, but finally having Joaquín do it for you has made you so much more responsive. 

You get the first syllable out, the ‘M’ vibrating in your throat before you open your mouth to round it out in an ‘O’. 

Joaquín picks up where you left off. 

“More?” he asks, eyebrows lifting as he holds your heavy gaze. Before you even respond with a nod, he’s already sitting back far enough to slip his hand in your panties and repeat his emotions. 

The first real touch dizzies you for a moment. You pinch your eyes shut with the pure intention of orienting yourself, but then Joaquín chastises you in a soft, but firm voice. 

“Look at me. I wanna see you.” 

You do as told, of course. 

He nods. “There we go.” His fingers get just a little faster, the circles tighter. You’re so wet that there isn’t any uncomfortable friction at all, his skin easily glides against yours. 

“You close?” he asks after a moment. When you nod, he continues, “If I give you this one, you’ll be able to give me another, right? You can give me more?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can.” You’re breathless when you speak, and it certainly doesn’t help that it’s then when Joaquín decides to pull his fingers away completely, pull your panties to the side, and sink down completely until his face is level with your cunt. 

Just the image below you is enough to twist that section deep into your stomach into a knot. He’s barely able to give you anything before your back is arching off of the bed and everything in you mounts to a peak. 

When you come, it’s from the controlled and effective licks Joaquín delivers to your cunt. You don’t know when your hand moves on its own, but you feel silk-like strands between your fingers. It helps anchor you, gripping his hair helps keep you sane, especially when Joaquín keeps going. 

He broadens his reach this time. His mouth opens wide enough to slide his tongue down from your entrance and back up towards your clit. And he doesn’t just lick this time, you hear the audible suck from him. He’s slurping that shit, and you can already feel the introduction of another orgasm. 

If you were with anyone else, you’d be shocked at how soon another is on the precipice. But it’s Joaquín, and aside from the fact that you’ve wanted him for a while, you’re not exactly shocked that he knows what he’s doing. 

He slowly sinks one finger into you, pumping the digit in and out of you with meticulous ease. It’s a stark contrast from the almost sloppy way he’s eating you out. But it works. 

One finger is nice, it’s thicker than your own, rougher, too. You could get off just like that. And then, he adds a second. 

“Fuck,” you swear without any conscious intention. 

Joaquín comes up for air, releasing you with an audible smack. “Yeah?” he asks, the word coming from right in his throat. 

You nod as you take in the way he looks—cheeks flushed, hair tousled and hanging over his forehead, pink lips shining, his eyes wide and nearly doe-like. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. You see a look flash in Joaquín’s eyes then. It’s a look similar to the one he has whenever Sam affirms his work with a clap on the back—self-satisfied, delighted, proud. It occurs to you then that he doesn’t know what he’s doing to you. He can read your body language, sure. It’s obvious from your cunt, along how good he’s making you feel, but you know verbal affirmation is different. It’s better, especially for Joaquín. 

As he goes back in to finish you off, you speak to him.

“Just like that,” you tell him. Just this little bit encourages him, you can feel it in his movements.  “Keep going. ‘M close, so close, Joaquín. Please, don’t stop. You’re so … you’re so—” Before you can even get it out, all noise dies completely from you. Your mouth uselessly hangs open, not even air comes out as your entire body stiffens. Nothing happens for a moment, Joaquín continues, you’re stuck, and then a nanosecond later everything knocks into you. 

Sound emits from you, moans and groans and breaths. You’re digging into whatever you can find—the heel of your foot into Joaquín’s back, your hands in his hair, the rest of your body into the twisted sheets beneath you. You’re simultaneously trying to escape and trying to keep Joaquín from parting with you for even a moment. It’s hard to decide which you prefer, you don’t even think your mind has any say in the dilemma, your body is in control at this point. 

Ultimately, your body decides to let go, releasing both of you at the same time. Still, Joaquín takes a moment to pull from you. He continues licking and sucking, but his fingers slowing down indicates his intent to free you. It comes after a few drawn out moments where you’re stuck twitching beneath him until finally, he pulls his fingers out of you and presses one final kiss right onto your clit. 

His head lifts and the evidence is more obvious than you expected. It’s gathered all over his chin, stuck along the beginnings of facial hair that will likely be gone first thing Monday morning. It’s gathered on his lips and along his tongue when he uses the muscle to pull the remnants of your arousal into his mouth. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and only then does he realize how much of a mess you’ve made of him. He pulls his hand back, brown eyes big as he stares at the evidence. 

“Shit,” he laughs. 

All you can do is agree through labored breaths. 

He tries to clean you off of his mouth, but not much is done. He leans in tentatively after that, as if you’re going to shy away from him. You don’t. 

You kiss him back eagerly, although a bit lethargically. You’re trying to hide it from fear that Joaquín could think that you’re done. But your body needs a moment to recover from that. 

When Joaquín pulls away from you with a small smile on his face, you know he’s onto you. 

“You need a minute?” The way he says it isn’t much different from the way he asks you those same words when he’s kicking your ass in the gym. 

And just like when you’re in the gym, you shamefully nod. 

Joaquín chuckles and leans in to kiss your forehead. “That’s okay. You want anything? Water maybe?” 

“Water sounds good.” 

You watch him leave and then your eyes are focused solely on the ceiling. You can’t even let what’s happening sink in when you’re still a little spacey. But you can handle more. You want more from him. 

Joaquín comes back with a glass of water. He stands next to the bed and passes the full glass to you. You don’t question the source, you just drink until there’s half left. You offer it to him and he gladly takes it from you. 

“Are you … do you wanna stop?” He speaks when the glass has been emptied and placed on the nightstand. For the most part he looks like he would be unaffected by whatever answer you gave, but you think you can detect some premature dejection in his features. Quickly, he adds, “Because it’s fine if you do. I’m okay with that.” And he’s being honest. You don’t feel any pressure coming from Joaquín at all. 

It’s what you truly mean and want when you immediately shake your head. “No. Let’s keep going.” 

He nods once to himself. “Alright. Cool. Yeah.” 

Excitement leaks from his pores but you don’t comment on it. You felt just as he did not long ago. You still feel like that, but you’re under a haze right now and that’s what your emotions are being led with. 

Joaquín hooks his thumbs into his already-loosened jeans and goes to pull them down. First, though, he pats at his pockets. When he doesn’t feel what he’s looking for, he swears. 

“One second.”

You watch his form retreat until the door of your room is pulled open. Not even a minute later he comes back in with a foil pocket brandished between his fingers, the same fingers that were in you not long ago. 

“You came prepared?” The question comes out more judgemental than you meant it to. 

Joaquín shrugs. “I keep an emergency bag full of … stuff. You know, in case of an emergency.” 

“Freak.” You don’t mean it. 

“You’re about to get fucked by a freak so, wouldn’t that make you a freak by association?” He seems to mean it. 

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

He holds the packet between his teeth while he slides his jeans off of his legs, stepping out of them and leaving them at the foot of the bed. He comes back around to the side, pulling the packet out from his teeth and staring down at you. Like this he looks more imposing than he ever has before. 

When he’s been out in the field, when he’s training, when he yelled at the car earlier tonight, he didn’t look as imposing as he does now—staring down at you over the bridge of his nose, hair tousled, cock tenting in his black briefs. 

“That’s definitely how that works,” he claims as he leans down. He presses his hands into the bed beneath you to leverage himself as he kisses you, slow and passionate. You wonder if he’ll fuck you like that too. 

You reach a hand up and pull the elastic away from his waist. When he doesn’t react, you tug the fabric down. You feel it get stuck around his cock just before you feel his cock spring free. It brushes against your wrist and you make a little noise into the kiss. 

As soon as Joaquín’s briefs are laying at his feet he assumes his previous position, this time sitting right on his haunches. You avoid looking at his cock for a moment, but when you watch him tear the condom packet open, you get the first glimpse at him. 

Even this part of him is attractive. He’s thick, that’s the first thing you notice. Thick and heavy, if the way he hangs to the side is any indicator. There’s a vein leading from his taut stomach down towards the dark and trimmed thatch of hair at the base of his cock. You hadn’t noticed the vein ever before, not when you had been too busy ogling the v-line chiseled into his torso instead. 

Now that you’ve seen all of Joaquín, you can easily conclude that he’s perfect. Just as you have that thought, Joaquín takes an inhale as he prepares to speak. 

“You’re so perfect,” he says. 

The warmth instantly floods your body. 

“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” you tell him. 

He dips his head almost shyly and doesn’t say anything. Instead, Joaquín pulls the condom out of the packet. 

“Wait. Lemme do it. Can I do it?” 

He looks momentarily surprised at your request, but he passes you the condom and politely places his hands on top of his thighs. 

It’s truly an excuse to feel him beneath your palm as you glide the latex barrier down his length. You revel in the warmth beneath your hand, because as soon as you’ve secured the barrier around the base of his shaft, Joaquín's leading you back without even having to touch you. He leans forward and in response, you lean all the way back until you’re nestled amongst the pillows at the head of the bed. 

“Ready?” 

You nod, letting your legs fall open for him. 

One warm hand falls to the inside of your thigh while the other disappears between your legs to line up his dick. Then, slowly, Joaquín pushes forward. The stretch is instant, you can feel yourself opening up wider and wider to fully fit him in. If you weren’t as soaked and prepped as you were, you’re sure the burn would’ve been way worse. 

For a few moments it’s like the length of him keeps going and going, but then you feel his thighs press up against the back of yours and there’s the faint feeling of his balls resting against your ass and you know he’s bottomed out. He looks at you, gauging your reaction, and your response comes in the form of linking a leg around his back.

Joaquín smiles through nothing but the twitch of the corner of his mouth upwards, and then he wastes no more time. He rests his weight on his hands at either side of your head, and pulls his hips back just to roll them forward and slide his cock back into you. 

And for a bit, Joaquín does fuck you slow and passionate. He fucks you in full strokes, a nice tempo that doesn’t overwhelm you too quickly. There’s punctuation at the end of each thrust, followed by a nearly agonizing pull back out. Whether intentional or not, Joaquín’s introducing you to the feeling of his cock filling you up, just as he’s introducing the concept of another release to you. 

But you’ve had your fill, it’s his turn now. 

You press your hands into his shoulders. They glide back, one hand grazing over the raised skin of the scar that leads down his back, the other following a smooth path, but they meet in the same place—back around the front to where his chain hangs. You hook one finger into the gold link, the other going behind his head. You pull him closer until you can nudge your noses together. 

His eyes flutter shut and his eyebrows pinch together in the center. You kiss him once and pull back to tell him, “You can use me, Joaquín. Take what you want.”

His eyes open to stare at you with confusion written on his face, bordering on hope, as if he already has an idea formed in his head of what he really wants to do to you. 

You nod assuredly. “It’s what I want.” Just as you’re about to add a quiet plea to seal the deal, Joaquín adjusts his position and then he pulls nearly all the way out of you, only to forcefully drive back into you. 

The switch is immediate. He still fucks you in complete motions, but they’re shorter, no longer the tip to the shaft each time. These are faster, much faster. It feels like he’s reaching up into your guts each time, just to pull back and do it again and again and again. 

You’re forced to find purchase again, hands digging into whatever you can find. One hand attaches to his hair and the other holds onto his chain, your legs have linked around Joaquín’s hips, your head has craned backwards, leaving the area between the base of your neck and your chest open for Joaquín to rest his forehead on. 

You can’t hear his sounds over yours, but you feel them—quick breaths let out onto the sweat coated area of your chest. You would try and silence yourself to better hear him, but you couldn’t even if you tried. 

Luckily, though, Joaquín lifts his head and notches his nose against the side of your neck instead. He kisses you right beneath your earlobe, but when he can no longer complete that action, his jaw goes slack and every single noise he makes travels directly to your ear. 

You swear and it comes out as a whimper, not even a second later Joaquín swears and it’s a deep groan all the way from the back of his throat. You call his name and he calls yours. He’s affecting you, and you’re affecting him, even just by laying back and urging him to get himself off by using your body.

“Are you close?” you eventually gather the strength, and will, to ask. 

You feel Joaquín nod against your neck. “Yeah,” he confirms, “yeah, baby, ‘m almost there.” 

Your reaction is instant. You groan, a sound that could be interpreted as frustration if you weren’t having your guts completely rearranged right now. 

He chuckles deeply against your skin. “What? What’s up?”

“C…Call me that again.”

“What? ‘Baby’? You like when I call you baby?” 

You hum affirmatively. 

Joaquín lifts his head and slots one hand against your cheek. His pace slows as he stares at you. “You’re my baby? Hm? Are you?” 

You nod, whining out an “uh-huh”. 

“Yeah?” he grins as he says it, as if he’s shocked that you agreed. You don’t know if he’s serious, if he knows that his words are holding weight even if you’re a little dumb right now, but you do mean it. 

He licks his lips and you see an idea coming to his head. “You gonna be good for me, too?” When you nod, he continues. “Be good for me, baby, and touch yourself, alright?”

He gives you the space needed and watches your hand slide down your stomach. When you use two fingers to tweak your already overstimulated clit, Joaquín nods. 

“That’s right. Just like that.” 

He resumes his original pace, this time with his eyes fully locked on your cunt. He pulls one of your legs up and throws it over his shoulder, leaning forward to get even deeper into you. 

You’re close, you’re almost there, and the erratic way Joaquín practically jackhammers into you as he chases his own release is what pushes you over. You finish just after Joaquín buries himself into you and curls his body over yours. This orgasm truly feels like a release. Everything in you melts into the world around you, just as Joaquín’s body melts on top of yours. 

He kisses the skin closest to him, first in small almost discrete pecks, and then they gradually get bigger and more audible until he’s clearly making them ridiculous on purpose. 

His cock is still nestled in you and his head is still resting on your chest when he speaks. “You think you’ll be up for a shower?”

You hum, letting the question run through your head for a minute before responding. “In about ten minutes, yeah.” 

“Take your time.”

In the meantime, Joaquín slowly slides out of you. The emptiness is immediate, but after all you’ve been through since getting back to your room, you don’t exactly hate it. Your eyes start to feel heavy but you let them close for a little while. You rely on your other senses throughout. 

The feeling of Joaquín kissing over where you think your bikini tan lines are, the rim of the glass that he brings to your lips, the sound of his voice as he gently urges you to drink, the feeling of cool water sliding down your throat. He holds you steady as you drink with a hand behind your head. Your lips turn up tiredly, and you feel his thumb at the corner of your lip catching a stray drop of water. You don’t have to open your eyes to know he’s wearing that same soft look on his features.

You’re so pampered there that you don’t force yourself to get up until you hear the shower running. 

Joaquín’s already there waiting for you at the door. He smiles when he sees you as if he’s shocked that you came, even though this is your room and your bathroom. Still, he reaches out and grabs your hand, pulling you into the bathroom and in front of him. His hands push at your back, guiding you towards the shower. He pulls the door open for you and lets you step inside before he follows after you. 

You reach for the towel and soap, but stop when he tuts behind you. 

“I got it,” is all he says. So you let yourself completely relax with the feeling of Joaquín dragging the cloth up and down your limbs. He talks to you throughout, mostly asking you to lift an arm or turn around, sometimes bringing up small bits of conversation, every now and then singing bits of songs—some that you recognize, some that you don’t. There’s a familiarity now that you’ve gained since his hands had massaged sunscreen into your shoulders. 

Eventually, though, he finishes with you, leaving you to lean against the wall and watch him shower.

“You know what I realized like a few minutes ago?” he says when he’s rinsing the soap off of his body. 

“What?”

“Remember the couple from the club that first night? The one who kept buying us drinks?”

“Yeah, how could I forget?”

“Yeah well I’m pretty sure they thought we were like … swingers or some shit.”

You’re startled awake. “Huh? Why do you think that?”

“Oh I don’t think, I know. The guy gave me his number and everything. Plus you saw the way they were looking at us, and the woman kept cozying up to you.”

You frown. “I thought she was just drunk or friendly.”

“She definitely was drunk and friendly. And she also wanted you.” 

You blink. “I thought she wanted you.”

Joaquín shrugs and rinses the last of the soap from his back before he shuts the water off. “She probably did. That’s sort of part of the whole swingers gig, isn’t it?”

You laugh through a quick exhale of air. “Come on, Joaquín, let’s go to bed.” 

You step out of the shower and wrap a towel around your body. Joaquín follows after you. 

“Oh, I get to sleep with you tonight?” He sounds giddy when he says it, as if he wasn’t just fucking you so good that your legs are still getting used to walking again. When you tell him that, you see the unintended compliment go straight to his head. 

You end up getting exactly what you wanted. Joaquín leans into the bathroom counter with the towel hung low around his waist and his eyes watching you do your skincare routine. As soon as you’re finished, he’s trekking off to his room for a change of clothes and to do whatever he needs to do, and he comes back in nothing but boxers with a big shirt in his hand. He lays it on the counter for you casually, but you see the tips of his ears tinted just a tiny bit red when he retreats back to your room. 

You come out in his shirt to see him lying on your side of the bed, the remote in his hand and pointed at the TV. As if the entire trip had been going like this the entire time, he instantly scoots over when you come to the side of the bed and lifts the sheets for you to climb under. You lay curled into his side, telling him to click a channel playing a movie that you know he likes. 

The remote is placed on the nightstand, the lights are clicked off and you’re snuggled up next to Joaquín, wearing his shirt and talking about how the two of you are going to spend your last day of vacation. 

Not everything goes how you thought it would, though. Joaquín ends up being pretty mindful with his blanket usage. 

[whumptober]

Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt

We get a lot of questions about prompts, so I thought this might be a helpful post for how to break down a Whumptober prompt and get ideas.

Each day of Whumptober has 4 prompts: a theme trope, then three ideas. You can use any one, two, three, or all four in your work. Each day’s prompts loosely relate to each other but could also be taken individually. They can be interpreted as literally or figuratively as you want.

Let’s look at an example. I’m a writer, so I’m going to talk in terms of storywriting, but just remember that this challenge is open to all sorts of creative works, including art, gifsets, headcannons, crafts, or whatever else you can think of.

ICARUS

cage | “You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high” | crash landing

(Fiona Apple, Never is a Promise)

So the theme is Icarus, with additional prompts of a place, a song lyric, and a situation. Taken together, you could write a story of Icarus, who was caged with his father Daedelus, flew too close to the sun on the hope of freedom, and crashed fatally to earth. But you could also look at each prompt in isolation for ideas.

Icarus:

themes of hubris

themes of freedom from captivity

winged characters

a child trying to prove themselves to a parent figure and failing

Cage:

being literally caged

feeling figuratively caged

breaking free of something (literal or figurative)

themes of imprisonment and freedom or false freedom

“You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high”:

regret

promises made or broken

an accident and its aftermath

bitterness after betrayal

guilt after betrayal or accident

Crash landing:

literally falling from a height

being high (drugs, mania, medications, love, sugar) and crashing

plane/helicopter/airship/dragon/spaceship/winged creature crash

an angel falling to earth or hell

comet or meteor impact

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but just some brainstorming ideas I could come up with quickly. In a few of my fandoms, I could write about Bucky’s fall from the train and Steve’s guilt (MCU), Basch fon Ronsenburg’s fall from grace or languishing in a cage for treason (FFXII), Sephiroth summoning Meteor (FFVII), Chell being dragged back into Aperture after thinking she’s free (Portal), a dragonrider battle (ASOIAF/HoD), crashing into the Chionthar after victory (BG3), Geralt coming down after battle when the potions wear off (The Witcher). Any of these scenarios could be inspired by one or more of the four prompts for that day – my problem is always deciding which one I want to use!

“But Yenn,” you say, “what if I can’t think of anything for any parts of the prompt, or I don’t like the prompts, or they’re too much for me in some way?” No problem! We also have a list of 15 alternatives that can be substituted for any day (once per prompt). If you’re still stuck, you can always come on Discord and ask for brainstorming help. Everyone is super nice there, especially for a community of people that live to put blorbos in discomfort.

I hope this post helps give people ideas. We’re working hard to get everything together and should release the prompts in a couple of weeks! In the meantime, our 2024 playlist will be loading soon...

[mrs-kmikaelson]

MASTER LIST

Started: July 7, 2023 Last updated: March 3, 2025

I write for:

The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Shadowhunters, the MCU, the Hunger Games series, and Criminal Minds. I may also write for Fate: The Winx Saga, Cobra Kai, Grey's Anatomy, 13rw, Gossip Girl, and Riverdale (even tho I have no idea what's happening in that show anymore). I typically write fem!reader-insert fics, but you might see a ship once in a while. Crossovers may happen. Btw, I add angst to like everything. Straight-up fluff is rare.

a/n: just wanted to let everyone know that requests are open rn, but that might change once summer's over. i update this list every time i post.

Klaus Mikaelson

The Tribrid You're Klaus Mikaelson's long-lost daughter that he has no idea about, yet somehow you still find yourself getting entangled in the New Orleans wars, both with the city and then with your own family. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Should've Known Better After a thousand years of marriage, everything comes crumbling down, taking you with it. But you shouldn't have been so surprised; you knew that Klaus was fire, and you knew that fire burned. You should've known better. 1 2

Stefan Salvatore

Coming soon

Damon Salvatore

Coming soon

Elijah Mikaelson

Coming soon

Katherine Pierce

Coming soon

Kai Parker

Coming soon

Elena Gilbert

idk y'all but i had an idea so we'll see ab this one

Steve Rogers

Coming soon

Bucky Barnes

Coming soon

Natasha Romanoff

Coming soon

Tony Stark

Coming soon

Peter Parker (T.H.)

Coming soon

Alec Lightwood

Coming soon

Jace Herondale

Coming soon

Finnick Odair

Our Song and Dance You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. 1 2 3 4 5 6

Aaron Hotchner

What's in a Name? 5 times you and Agent Hotchner questionably cross paths over the years, just for him to watch you walk away (+1 time you don't). The Grey Area You meet Aaron Hotchner and he makes you see everything in colour; he makes you feel like you're the only girl in the room. But then, as you find out that you're not, you realize the colour he actually makes you see the most is grey. (a/n: very scandal based). Series Masterlist Icarus Helios Apollo Aaron thinks you're just about the most radiant person he's ever met. But then you fly too close to the sun, and all your light disappears. Your Five Truths You have five simple truths. But when your relationship and your life are put on the line, you start to question what you believe in anymore.

Derek Morgan

Coming soon

Spencer Reid

Coming soon

Emily Prentiss

Coming soon

[angel-of-the-moons]

A Rose Under the Moon

A Soulmate!AU

Pairing: MCU Moon Knight System (Marc/Jake/Steven) x Fem!Reader

Summary:

You've waited your whole life to meet your soulmate. You just didn't know your soulmate was so close by, all this time.

But...

How the hell can you handle being thrown into a world full of gods and magic? You're just a shopkeeper! Why is your heart being tugged by three different threads?

Why do they all look alike?

How... how the hell can you handle three soulmates?

TW/CW: Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Drinking problems, Loneliness, Pain, Angst, Torture, Childhood trauma, mentions of child abuse, human trafficking, sex abuse, drug abuse, suicidal thoughts/mentions, fighting, violence, graphic violence, death, major character death, comfort, soulmates, fluff, healing, slow burn, eventual smut, NSFW

MINORS DNI: I AM MOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Taglist: @bad4amficideas @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @shirukitsune @lokisremainingsanity @mundivagantsoul @furblrwurblr @zoleea-exultant @latenightcravingz @daygirl26 @thelastemzy @leahnicole1219 @marsmallow433 @crazyunsexycool @oscarissac2099 @littlenosoul @animechick555 @capsiclesworldsblog @cloudroomblog @lov3vivian @princessakirika @fog-sama @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @badbishsblog @lillycore555 @stardream14 @meowmeowyoongles @kate-ohara @kittenlover614 @patchesofwork @enheduannasposts @stitchattacks @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes

Chapter 1: The Scholar Link

Chapter 2: Inside Voices Link

Chapter 3: The Victims Link

Chapter 4: Old, Unhappy, Far-Off Things Link

Chapter 5: Old Friends Link

Chapter 6: Whiskey Rose Link

Chapter 7: Cats And Cradles Link

Chapter 8: Everybody Loves Cats! Link

Chapter 9: A House Divided Link

Chapter 10: On The Wings Of An Icarus Link

Chapter 11: Good Food And Cat Fuzz Link

Chapter 12: Helplessness Link

Chapter 13: A Rock, A River, And A Boy With A Soft Smile Link

Chapter 14: Chaos Link

Side Characters:

Chapter 15: Sphinx of Black Quartz Link

Chapter 16: Moon River Link

Puck the Cat

[silence-between-seconds]

hii this is my attempt at an intro post. you can call me siri ;)

pick any pronouns from: he/she/they || 18+ || I'm genderfluid || INFJ

Things I love:

your mum, singing, marauders era, any and all kinds of art, poetry, books, fanfiction, the harry potter fandom (jkr can piss off tho), hozier, chappell roan, arctic monkeys, k-pop (bts, txt, svt, skz, treasure and a few more bands), renne rapp, conan gray, plushies, the moon, the stars, basically space, chai, biking, CHOCOLATE, nature, writing, badminton, musical instruments and a million little nothings

currently listening to:

Naked In Manhattan by Chappell Roan

fav authors/books:

good omens, simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, books by ruskin bond, the alchemist, the zahir, ronald dahl, to kill a mockingbird, memoirs of sherlock holmes- (ok look i love reading but the last thing i read was definitely on ao3)

movies/shows:

The Owl House, Studio Ghibli, Heartstopper, Red white and royal blue, Loki, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, Night at the Museum, Marvel (not sucha fan of mcu), highschool musical (2 is my fav), Luca (2021) and most other pixar and disney movies, (i love animated movies so much)

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

@her-midas-touch is a poet and wrote this for me hehe:

Run out of metaphors great enough, my fingers paint a wraith

To faint to capture essence, mere shimmery traces of feelings

Every cheshire cat smile, every whirlwind idea, every leap of faith for every apathetic eye, missing the moment, is a soul

that sings

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

have some me core images:

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

lovely mutuals:

@good-oldfashioned-lover @her-midas-touch@daydream-of-a-wallflower@hermioneswifeee

@literallytoogaytofunction@lilbeanz@reisbackinblack@dementorfromazkaban@deprivedofbraincellsandsleep

@starryrain@lizluvscupcakes@urbanflorals @accio-sriracha@siriusly-remu

@werewolfenthusiast@none-of-it-was-accidental@feelin-sad-and-gay@jaylienpotter@illustratinglaura

@nothingtoseeherebyeexx @silverscreenlipstick @moonysversion @mochami-mochi @sleepinginmygrave

@icarus-last-fall @a-beautiful-fool @shuhuaspookie @xi-phos @here-for-a-good-time-hopefully

@stars-over-ice-cream @kaaaaaaarf @re-is-back-in-black @rookofthekingom @not-rab

@toxik-angel @marylily-my-beloved @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @strawberryapologist @m0st-ard3ntly

@cressthebest @starcrossedmoony

(i hope i got everyone?)

feel free to interact<3

mess with my friends and I will hurt you :)

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

DNIs don't work so I guess I'll just say: fuck around and find out ig

[nomsfaultau]

I’m basically like Icarus rn (turning in SBI Mcyt fanfiction to a creative writing class for a manuscript (even though I know it will be read by a classmate (that lacks a filter) who writes dsmp fics and might recognize the (names changed bc they’re in witness protection (and one (1) gender change bc god dangit there’s barely any women in this fandom)) characters being used (she might blurt out that it’s fanfic (I know my professor writes fanfics (MCU) but she said this has to be an original piece of work) to the whole class (death mortification abhorrent)) that’s worth 1/4th of my grade) so wish me luck ig.

[exbex]

Hello dear! The fanfic writer ask game #2 and #16 please?

#2-my current pride and joy is Icarus, of course. Torturing Sam is approximately 86,456 times more heart-wrenching than torturing Bucky, but I had to do it, for some reason. Trying to do that without losing the important themes of TFATWS was difficult but satisfying. And it was satisfying to torture Steve and Bucky because, well, it is for some reason. Maybe I just really wanted to simultaneously satisfy my craving for whump with a desire to put Sam at the center of his own story, something that the MCU just can’t seem to do even with this latest movie (yeah, I’m bitter). I have a certain obsession with the kind of trauma I put Sam through in Icarus but also, thinking about the story, it was a way for Sam to rage-quit the Avengers, show some complicated feelings about his military past and have a more fleshed out reason to take up the shield, which is all about Sam being centered in his own story (while also satisfying my own weird desires). But I also surprised myself with some of the choices I made with this story, which was kind of delightful.

#16-what do I struggle the most with in writing? I think writing stuff that isn’t dialogue, at least much of the time. Sometimes I have delicious dialogue but trying to fill in the details is like pulling teeth.

[louiesselfshipramblings]

Thoughts on the media my f/os are from!

The MCU kinda sucks these days. The last good thing they put out was GotG Vol. 3, and you know that was all Gunn. Granted, the series's highs are still very high—Iron Man, Avengers 1, all the Captain America movies, Thor 1, Thor Ragnarok, the Guardians trilogy—and there is occasionally some good. And of course I have a soft spot for the Hawkeye tv show. It was good!

The Legend of Zelda is still one of my fave series, and while I did enjoy Tears of the Kingdom on initial playthrough...man, this game sucks. And not even in a bad game way; it's just so derivative. Which like, yeah, sequel literally built off the back of BotW, but there's no innovation. It has all the issues BotW had, but worse. Like, I'm biased of course, but Purah's redesign is legit one of the best things about the game. Like, it's not bad, I like it, but man...and the story! Jeez, what a waste of time...

ENA is weird cause like, I knew about, then my friend showed me it, and I thought it was neat. Still a cool idea and such. It's just I kinda joined when the "original" Ena was ending and stuff with DreamBBQ was starting. My pref is still towards OG Ena, but I'm excited to see where Joel G takes things.

I have an interesting relationship with Sonic the Hedgehog; I don't play his games too often, but I love the lore, and side material like the comics and shows. Sonic Lost World is not a game I played, but I heard negative things about. Basically a Mario Galaxy clone...but Mario Galaxy is good, no? Considered by many one of the best games of all time? I dunno. The main thing is the Deadly Six...like I love Zeena, naturally, but the others. Eh...neutral. There's a reason my sona is Mobian and not zeti lol.

I was originally gonna watch the One Piece anime, but I eventually decided to go with the manga cause I heard it was paced better, plus I always wanted to read manga. Overall, I like it! It's very good. Simple at points, yet powerful too. I just wish Oda was a lil less horny, or at least reeled back the likes of Sanji and Brook. And drew women differently. And fixed Usopp's design. Yeh. Aside from that, it's good.

I haven't played Overwatch! I just think Sombra and D. Va are pretty. Mei, too. And Venture is kinda snazzy. It looks fine. Blizzard sucks but you knew that.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was my first real anime (outside of like the Pokemon anime), and it was good! David Productions really nailed the art style and colors, especially the color choices! Might check out the manga some day, but very excited for Part 7 to be animated!

Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur is the perfect show to watch if you're a Marvel fan and fed up with the MCU. Creative, striking, and actually progressive when Disney isn't banning episodes like the morons they are. I need to watch a few more episodes, but the show is VERY good. Track down that banned one if ya can, it is WORTH it!

I've been a fan of Five Nights at Freddy's since I was a wee lad...never played an entry lol. Yeh I was more into the lore with MatPat, Dawko, 8-Bit Ryan, Razzbowski, those guys. It was fun! I still enjoy it but it def fell to the back burner. The movie was good, prob gonna see the sequel.

For the record I would totally give Danganronpa a chance, but ugh I just cannot do visual novels. There's just not enough "game" for me, if ya get me. No shade to people who do enjoy em, more power to ya. Just not for me. From the gameplay of 1, 2 and V3 I've seen...seems okay. Outdated at parts, and kinda on the nose with its 'hope v despair' theme, but each seems a solid mystery with a colorful cast.

I was late on the train for Kid Icarus: Uprising, but damn when I hoped on, did NOT regret it. Some of the greatest writing, voice acting, voice direction, story, and characters yet to be put to a single Nintendo game! The greatest come back for ANY Nintendo franchise! Gameplay is kinda standard but plays well. A sequel would be nice, but honestly a port to the Switch would be lovely as well.

For five bucks, Pseudoregalia is a steal. N64/PS1-looking 3D metroidvania with great music and solid controls. Plus the main character is my wife. I've been meaning to finish it, but I've been busy...will one day tho!

Indigo Park is another game I haven't played, BUT I did watch MarKatoto play through all of chapter 1, so that counts right? Anyways, cute looking game. Charming. Nice atmosphere. It doesn't feel like it's trying to crib FNAF's style, which is to its benefit. I have high hopes for the game moving forward, especially when compared to slop like BanBan, yuck.

The Mario + Rabbids games, both Kingdom Battle and Sparks of Hope, are the most not-me games I ended up likely. XCOM-esque real time strategy where Mario crosses over with Ubisoft's Rabbids? But it works! I still need to play the DLCs all the way through, but again...busy! Maybe some day...

The Wild Robot truly is a triumph. A phenomenal film with gorgeous animation, amazing voice work, a simple yet effective story, and just an air of coziness to it. It's a nice film. Can Chris Sanders just direct every movie from now on?

I got into Doki Doki Literature Club when mascot horrors were in their peak. Ya know, Hello Neighbor, Bendy, Tattletail, that stuff. Again, like FNAF and Indigo Park, I never played it myself, but seen it played enough to know it well. Maybe it doesn't have the best presentation or execution, but I still feel it's effective at what it's trying to do, all while still having a lovely cast of characters and a very cute art style. Would check out DDLC+, but again...visual novels.

Pokémon...ugh. What a franchise. Most profitable franchise in the world, backed by one of the most beloved and successful gaming companies of all time, all to releases, well...Scarlet & Violet on release day. Gen 7 was the last game I considered good, and maybe I'm biased. Last game you could have every mon in. At the very least, I still love the series for its ideas and designs, and I am looking forward to Legends Z-A. Legends Arceus was surprisingly good, so with how long Z-A is taking, not to mention FINALLY being the long coveted third Kalos game, I'm hopeful.

[pastelbatfandoms]

Watching C's podcast on YouTube, if you are a shifter you know who she is. I really respect her because she doesn't just follow what everyone else is doing plus her SJ in her Hogwarts dr is insane!

It was Stranger Things late last year. It's still unfinished but I made it on google docs and I did post it on here. Besides my written one.

I think Hanna (the one who made this survey) says it best so I will link her TikTok on it! HahaShifts

I connect with my drs through Pinterest boards, FMVs, watching the shows, movies or reading the books, writing fanfic, music, Chat AI as well as Tarot readings & channeling, scripting.

I don't have one.

Asleep or 5 senses method

Birthdays, christmas or Yule, Anniversaries

I don't know yet. Only holidays I have memories of are with Bruce Wayne during Christmas and Valentines Day with Billy Hargrove.

Renee West Wells is a forensic Anthropologist & Journalist as well as makes the costumes for Team Flash and Team Arrow. Michelle Renee in my Fame drs is an Indie Singer, scriptwriter and has her own makeup brand. Lilianne is a SHIELD agent, Mandy Moorington works at Scoops Ahoy as well as a record store, Isabella in my OUAT dr works at the library and Mr Gold's' shop when he's away.

In my Marvel dr I like collecting things, as well as reading, hanging out and playing board games or drinking games with the team. Peter, Pietro and I also like playing video games together. Renee in my Flash dr prefers having sleepovers with Caitlin & Iris or cuddling and watching a movie or show with HR & Harry. Drawing new costume ideas. Michelle in my Fame dr would probably being hanging out with her Crue drinking, having sex ect...or writing a new script or song lyrics. Also hanging out and playing with her kids. If it was My Fame dr with Sebastian they'd probably either be doing some light D/S play or hanging out watching a movie or having him read to her. Mandy in my ST dr would be cuddling with Billy, Eddie or Chrissy. Writing, reading or dancing. Also her and Chrissy doing each others hair and makeup. Bella in my OUAT dr would mainly be reading or hanging out with Ruby at the diner or with her sister.

I travel back and forth between The Avengers universe and XMen universe alot so if you count that... Also go on missions with SHIELD. She doesn't have a set place but she likes Madripoor kind of and Budapest. Renee would want to go to Italy or France. I also want to visit Greece with Tommy Lee because that's where his family is from and Romania with Seb.

My Marvel dr is partly based on the comics. I do have a Shadow & Bone dr but it's unscripted and I haven't tried shifting there. There are moments in my ST dr that is based around 'Flight of Icarus' Eddie's book.

Of course my Marvel dr takes place in the MCU (except GOTG) My Gotham 89 dr is based on the older Batman movies and the new Flash movie. Motley Crue's life is still like the one portrayed in The Dirt (just including me, they also look like them when younger)

My relationship with Tommy is based Pam & Tommy's in the miniseries. Obviously The Flash dr is from the series as well as LOT. Same with most of the Marvel shows (Loki & Hawkeye especially) My Mod Gotham dr is inspired by The Gotham series, TWD series, OUAT and Wonderland, Stranger Things Series.

Yes I've posted about them but in My Marvel dr I am a Valkyrie in one and a Mutant or super in the other. As Lilianne I have control over both light and shadow, as well as healing abilities and the ability to phase through if someone attacks me. (I have to be actively trying though) In My Flash dr I am a Storm Goddess with control over lightning and the weather. I also have magic in OUAT taught to me by Rumple. Since I am the daughter of The Evil Queen.

I already have when I shifted to My ST dr and saw Billy. I posted it HERE.

They all have very different styles since I'm so eclectic in my cr lol Ok I picked a name randomly and got Renee. So for her I'd say basic, classy, rich looking when going out (she went on a date with Harry once dressed casual and felt so self conscious) or dressing up in what her men like. A bit edgier when she's Obsidian Storm. I have an outfit post HERE.

I only have the idea for my rooms in my ST dr and I know what the rooms in My Fame drs due to memories. My room with Tommy looks like in the series and My room with Seb is also in creams and whites with a raised floor where the bed is which was a canopy bed with white lace curtains.

Mandy's room looks similar to this on the opposite wall is a floor length mirror and pink dresser.

8. Okay I got Amara who is Loki's girl and a Valkyrie. So that Marvel dr as a whole...

9. oooh I got Carrie aka The Carrion Crow! I do have a playlist for that Gotham dr.

Bellyache- Billie Eilish

Badder-Emlyn

Pretty Little Psycho- Porcelain Black

I'm gonna show you crazy-Bebe Rexah

Vicious-Bohnes

10. Whiskey and Motor oil (grease) remind me of Merle Dixon. I've literally smelled popcorn while watching the episode of Pam & Tommy where they go to the Barbed Wire premiere. I do have ClairSalience. Billy Hargrove smells like alcohol at times but mainly cologne and mint when I channel him.

11. Yes but I will talk about them in a seperate post.

12. I have tons. I usually write them down and post them on here. I will be posting about my Fame drs soon.

13. I don't make scenarios unless it's to help with writing my fanfictions. (like filling in holes) I find that if you call them scenarios then that causes your subconscious to think that reality shifting isn't real so it's harder to shift. I also find scenarios to seem forced as opposed to an actual memory that comes out of nowhere.

[starvels]

SteveTony Reclist: Road-Trips

@stevetonygames 2023 team future. challenge: camouflage. a reclist in the style of the inspiring @carsonian ! (thanks for your fun reclisting haha)

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A Long Road To Share [FANART] by SirSapling

Summary:

After 50 years in the ice and a couple exhausting years leading the Ultimates, Steve realises he isn't quite sure he knows anything about the new modern America he's supposed to represent. Luckily, Tony has an idea how to show him.

Notes:

such a sweet hopeful look at ults in the future! the landscape is warm and so is my heart. this comic encapsulates the road trip vibes in its scenery, colors and soft focus on steve and tony discussing believing in each other.

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After the Devil is Gone by Ironlawyer

Summary:

When Steve leaves to travel the country on his bike, Tony comes with him. But Steve is not ready to face those particular demons yet.

Notes:

CW for noncon offscreen. a super sharp desolate view of steve's 616 roadtrip, this fic aches to its core! the things it doesn't have to say ring so loudly and painfully across the text.

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Are we satellites? by starvels

Summary

In between sunrises on the road, Steve is speaking, eating, stepping into diners to save people like coming back to his childhood home. And Tony, Tony is watching him. Tony is relearning being awake. - A cross country roadtrip where Steve and Tony find the typical American town, a fuckton of trees and finally, finally, find the right questions to ask each other.

Notes: a self rec! this is an ode to winding american roads, the trauma and aches of being a superhero, the longing that comes with being in love with your best friend, and both steve and tony being the little spoon.

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BACK IN BLACK!! Eyes on the road Tony… [FANART] by @shaggybeetle

Summary:

MCU roadtrip featuring sing alongs to blaring music, delicious snacks and a phone ready to topple off the dashboard

Notes:

what a style! what a scene! steve and tony jamming out is so fun and they both look so at peace and ready to dig into vacation. great atmospheric details like trees through the windows!

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Flight of Icarus by Missy_dee811

Summary:

“Tony,” said Kamala, hurried. “I loaded up some music to give you a little boost,” she said. “Oh no,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t worry,” she added. “It’s not mine.” He smiled. I knew I liked you. She wished him luck. He thanked her, though he didn’t believe in luck. He had one try, one try to get it right. She was counting on him, they all were. It felt good to be needed. It felt good to be useful. All these years, he had wanted nothing more. He couldn’t fail now. Not again. [Written for Lights On Park Ave - Round 13.]

Notes:

a marvel avenger's video game rec! a wistful retrospective of tony dealing with the loss of steve, flipping through memories like a photo album, topped with a reunion cherry!

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the honeymoon suite by CapnShellhead

Summary:

Wade Wilson is getting married and he's assembling a team to get him to Vegas for his bachelor party. Requiring a team with a special set of skills, he asks Wolverine, Spider-Man, Special Agent Preston and Captain America to come along. Steve decides this would be a wonderful opportunity to fix a rift between him and an old friend.

Notes:

a thoroughly enjoyable 30k 616-verse fic based in an oft-overlooked moment in canon featuring delights such as: bed sharing! team fight scenes! wistful conversations! snark! accidentally thinking of your crush while jerking off!

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On the Road We Find the Journey Home by navaan

Summary

In the Aftermath of Secret Empire, Steve goes on his Road Trip to find out who Captain America can be after Hyda!Cap put fear into the hearts' of the people who used to cheer for him. His thoughts trail back to Tony.

Notes:

follows 616 canon for steve's post-hydra road trip gives this fic the opportunity to have steve connect genuinely to things in a way that reminds us all why we love cap. the end pay-off is good and the writing is so very even keel and wonderfully paced.

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somewhere along the oregon coast by Marvellous

Summary:

Tony stared at the door of the coffee shop they’d pulled up to, watching multiple people come and go. He crossed his arms and laughed to himself, “How much do you want to bet he’s having a very in depth conversation right now?” A deep but agreeable woof sounded from the backseat of the car.

Notes:

small and sweet like a little dessert! a tale of a pup and a love so warm it melts your heart to look at it. sometimes, it is that easy.

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ride (with) me [FANART] by wingheads

Summary:

kobik brought steve back. tony woke up from a coma. a road trip seems like a good place to start some reacquaintance. square filled: e1 motorcycle lol i really wanted that stevetony roadtrip in 2018 bc it had been a long time ?? since steve and tony were together where steve isn't old (i love old man steve btw) or evil and tony isn't in a coma or an ai. etc. etc. inspired by steve's road trip.

Notes:

a vibrant scene of steve and tony on their way to reconcile some loving feelings, complete with a gorgeously detailed motorcycle. the vibes here are so picturesque and the pose is so sweet.

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You Go Up Instead of Down [FANART] by MissionCritical

Summary:

This is set in the universe of the 1966 Marvel Superheroes cartoons (Earth-600026). Only two years ago, Iron Man and the original Avengers discovered Steve, frozen and floating in the Arctic Ocean, and rescued him. It's been rough for Steve, adjusting to this new world, but he has a lot of support -- from two people in particular. Tony Stark is brilliant, handsome, and a generous benefactor to the team. He's even given Steve a place to live in his own actual mansion! Steve doesn't really understand why, but it's clear Mr. Stark is good man, devoted to helping the Avengers. And then there's Iron Man, who has quickly become Steve's best friend, Iron Man is brave, and determined, and just a terrific teammate. He's given Steve the thrilling experience of flying into battle by riding on his back! And in that gleaming suit of armor, Iron Man always has Steve's back. Steve is Iron Man's biggest fan.

Note:

a delightful lil glimpse into a fun, small universe, this edit is such a delight to experience! we all need a little more flying steve in our lives, don't we?

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go forth: stevetony beans, greens, potatoes, you name it! and give these treats the resounding kudos/comment/retweet/reblog chomps they deserve!

[wortsandall]

Fic Writer Asks

tagged by: @bestangelofall :)

1. How many works on AO3?

9- one anonymous, 4 Moon Knight/MCU and 4 original works

2. Total AO3 Word Count?

211k (which is shocking)

3. Top 5 fics by Kudos:

no control - 258

illusion - 114

inertia - 61

fool's gold - 15

icarus (my anon fic) - 13

4. What fandoms do you write for?

Moon Knight/MCU is my main fandom. next would be my original work if it counts as a fandom.

for my WIPs, it's all Sonic and Transformers.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I think I've replied to every single one. I don't get that many so it's easy for me to do so.

6. Angstiest Ending?

pick any of my original work. they are all about someone currently trapped in an abusive relationship so downer ending all around.

if I had to pick it's loyalty, loyalty, loyalty as my main character walks himself back into the relationship after actually having an opportunity to leave.

7. Fic with the Happiest Ending?

fool's gold as it's the nicest thing I have ever written. just two people being relatively happy, communicating and cuddling.

8. Do you get hate?

to my knowledge no :) every comment has been really nice

9. Do you write smut?

yes, though I am not confident in it. I started writing my original work as a practice as most of what I read is explicit, but I haven't felt the need to write any smut in my other fandoms. I have one Sonic WIP that is entirely smut, and if I keep writing for Transformers, I 100% will. it's only a matter of time. valveplug calls to me lmao

10. Do you write crossovers?

no, I'm not really interested in mixing fandoms like that.

11. Ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not. pretty sure I haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, it'd be cool though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

nope. it's just me writing.

14. All time favourite ship?

hard to answer honestly as it depends on the fandom. right now it's Dratchet for Transformers. for DC its probably JayRoy, which is also I think my earliest and longest lasting (been shipping since I was like 11 or 12)

15. WIPs you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my Sonic WIPs are never getting posted. just had brain worms about certain ideas and needed to put them down somewhere.

some of my ideas in my Moon Knight series I don't think I will end up writing. it was ambitious of me to plan 8 of them. but hey, I got 5 of them written entirely, 4 of them posted. and another outlined entirely, so 6/8 planned isn't terrible.

16. Writing strengths?

I think emotion and dialogue. like introspection. that's usually what I get complimented on and it is my favorite part of the writing process.

17. Writing Weaknesses?

honestly I think my grammar and vocab could be better, I feel like I default to the same words and sentence structure so I'm always changing things because I'm afraid of being repetitive.

18. Thoughts on mixed language dialogue?

I think if you're going to do it, you should really know what you're doing. and if you don't then stick to the occasional word or phrase. at it's worst, its stereotypical, inaccurate, and disrupting/confusing to the reader. at its best it just extra info for those who do know the language and unobtrusive to the ones who don't.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I was gonna say moon knight, but it's actually DSMP/Minecraft Youtubers. that's the one anon fic that I have. I wanted to keep the stats on it. but I also don't want to be associated with that fandom anymore. I'm not like ashamed of that fic though, which is why I haven't orphaned it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

for my posted Moon Knight fics, it's probably illusion. I think it's an upgrade from no control, despite it being less popular. but in actuality it's my WIP that's next to be posted which is an insight into one of my OC alters.

with my original work it's attention which is the least popular work in the series. but I like contrasting my OC's experience with his mother to how his girlfriend treats him now. I like parallels.

No pressure tags: @gece-misin-nesin @jstodd @irradiatedradio and whoever else sees this and wants to :)

[murdrdocs]

can't stop thinking about fucking matt murdock. MDNI 18+ w/ MATT MURDOCK

no bells and whistles, nothing that should make this time special. just you and matt, stark naked atop his silk sheets, bodies tired and damp with sweat, but you both keep going. he keeps rolling his hips and forcing his cock further and further into you, nudging against that spot that you know he knows about. knowing him, he might have some 'blind sense' of it's existence. your foreheads resting on the other, the tip of his nose nudging against yours with every other thrust. your hand hooked in his hair, the hand he's not using to hold himself up alternating between gripping your hip, cradling your head, and resting firmly against the base of your throat.

it always feels so intimate when you're with matt, whether that be because you're trusting him to do things to you that you would never let another man do, or just because you're giving a part of yourself to another. he hasn't done anything experimental to you tonight, there's no print of his hand stinging in your flesh, no stain on your inner thighs from forced excretion, no soreness settling in your muscles. no, in truth, tonight is completely tame. but it's no less pleasurable for you. no less intimate.

the way you share air as matt breathes in when you breathe out and vice versa. the way he's fucking you slow enough to make sure you can feel everything—down to the brush of his pubes against your mound. the whispers of praises and rhetorical questions phrased as the opposite against your parted lips.

matt dips his head and brushes his lips into the side of your neck, repeating the action along your collarbone before sinking down to the center of your chest, right over the intense thump of your heart caged by your ribs.

"you're doing so good for me, sweetheart," he tells you just before his lips press into your skin, his kiss lingering for a moment. his head lifts and his eyes flutter shut as you push the dark strands of hair off of his forehead. right beneath your palm sits a few grey streaks, they're trickled along his jawline, too. he's getting older, as are you. you're getting older together.

a particular drive from matt has you gasping. your back arches and your tits press into matt's chest, your flesh smooshed together until you can only see the faint white line of the scar that sits right below matt's collarbone. your nails scratch matt's scalp and again, his eyes flutter shut, this time in an action that mimics an animal being pet behind the ears.

when he opens his eyes and you're met with his unfocused stare, his breathing is more labored. heavy and sharp inhales followed by quick exhales.

he nods, although the action feels like it's intended more for himself than you. "i'm gonna..." he licks his lips and blinks, "i'm gonna get you there, sweetheart. promise."

and it's only then that you notice the slight stutter in his hips, the minute hint of incoordination that you only notice because you know matt.

you throw a leg over his hip, digging the heel of your foot into the dimple on his lower back. you would offer to help, but it's fruitless. when matt gets like this, he has to do it himself. his pride soars, as well as his pleasure, when he pleases you.

matt adjusts his position, leaning his weight onto his forearm now. he rests his head in the crook of your neck and his other hand slides up your arm, interlinking his fingers with yours resting along his scalp. he only stays like that for a moment, a brief moment of reprieve for both of you before matt lifts himself up, presses his fingers into the back of your elevated thigh, and fucks deep into you until uncontrolled sounds spill from your lips.

[astralithium]

…well dang. @nightwanderers12081, thanks for mentioning me! Let me pass it on!

MashpotatoeQueen; writes for Voltron Legendary Defender, Avatar the Last Airbender, Next Avengers, and like, a million more, those are just the ones I’ve read. (Personal fav: for the living and alive)

besidemethewholedamntime; writes for Agents of SHIELD. (Personal fav: somewhere beyond the sea)

Mogseltof; writes mostly for Transformers. (Personal fav: Flyboy Asylum)

@arystocrat; writes for The Legend of Zelda and Mobile Suit Gundam. (Personal fav: you are not icarus) (wanting to reread this is why I signed up for Ao3 in the first place)

@spacebeyonce; also for The Legend of Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, and Trigun Stampede. (Personal fav: grow (in this new view))

whotellsyourstory; writes for the MCU + others (Personal fav: built of stone)

@humanityinahandbag; writes for the SCU + others (Personal fav: Part of the Tribe)

@peaches2217; writes for Super Mario Bros (Personal fav: Rescue/Untarnished)

There’s more, I know it, so don’t be surprised if there’s a part two to this post for me!

Mention here your favourite fanfic author and the fandom they write in. Link them here even if they're not popular. Especially if they are not popular. Let's find new quality fanfics and give a boost to great writers!

[ireblongstuff]

I posted 2,953 times in 2022

That's 2,887 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (0%)

2,939 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@melmalone

@druiigg

@moonlit-imagines

@myriadimagines

@wokeupinawalnut

I tagged 2,649 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#important - 750 posts

#boost - 738 posts

#signal boost - 690 posts

#mcu - 670 posts

#gifs - 580 posts

#mcu x reader - 455 posts

#fluff - 435 posts

#natasha romanoff - 189 posts

#angst - 182 posts

#natasha x reader - 167 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#you know its truly a comfort game when your not even worried about dealting a save file beacuse you geunily don't mind replaying it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Isabela Madrigal Masterlist

Fluff

Isabella Madrigal having a crush on you by @magicalencanto

Jeously, Babe by @bozowrites

Mi Flor by @dos-oroguitas

Relaxing Headcannos by @dumbrequesttaker

Bakery by @kazu-phoria

Jealous Isabela by @somethinginthethunder​

Mi Flor Linda by @lovesgnf

Fluff alphbet by @bozowrites 

When your sick by @mikalei

Peace & Quiet by @camilosbf​

Isabela with selfless Reader by @isabelaaaaa-encanto

Refusing kisses by @somethinginthethunder​

Angst

She by @m0chaominx

Remember Me by @doloresswife

Idiot 2 by @rottensullengirl

Angst with happy ending

Nightmare by @mad-elia

Dating while being from a rival magic family by @somethinginthethunder

What if There is Someone Better? by @Issacatcus

Note-None of these fics were made by me but by talented writers who deserve rectiongtion.

108 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

#4

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist

Updated 10/29/22

Fluff

Imagine your Wife Wanda making you a birthday cake by @druiigg

Ducks by @novamirmirsblog

Goodbye Kisses by @ajaklovebot

Lingering eyes by @skyvolt120

Movie Day (P) by @lilian-maximoff

Fingertip Kisses by @ajaklovebot

Date by @daxdrabbles

Cuddling with Wanda maximoff by @icarus-fell-in-spring

Wanda teaching you how to cook/bake by @moonlit-imagines

Let me in by @modern-vellichor

How they’re protective of you by @myriadimagines

Wounds by @mywlwwriting

How they comfort you by @ssadumba55

Chocolate and Stares by @refiwrites

How they say without saying  ‘I love you’ by @kimoralov3

Movie scenes by @mirclealignr 

Wind Chimes by @junoxans 

Safe Space by @alotofpockets

Angst

Imagine being Wanda’s girlfriend and getting badly injured because of her powers by @multifandomsimagine

Mission Gone Wrong 2 by @mcuwritin

Two beds, One home by @starshipsofstarlord

The end of Vision by @starshipsofstarlord

Fears by @the-fandom-abyss

Y/n marrying someone else by @lilian-maximoff

Imagine Wanda killing Ultron as revenge for him killing you and Pietro by @multifandomsimagine 

Dream  by @cheifdirector

See the full post

110 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

#3

Incorrect qoutes #4

Jane- Um, Valkyrie, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family? Valkyrie- We need money! Jane - You're scamming him? Valkyrie - I was thinking more like flat out stealing from him? Jane- What?! No way! Valkyrie - Why not? We already stole Y/n! Y/N - Hey guys- Jane - No, we didn't. Y/N  can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want! Y/N-  I wanna steal

136 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#2

Incorrect quotes #2

Y/n-” Who are you?” 

Loki- ”I’m your worst nightmare!”

Y/n-”So your me when i’m late to school and I forgot my homework, and my pants are made of pudding?”

Loki-”No i don’t-”

146 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Natasha romanoff Masterlist

Updated 11/22/22

Fluff

Presents? presents.PRESENTS? (P) by @i-write-things 

Bad influence by @kassxndre

Build a bear by @romanoffscottage

Already Dating by @procrastinatingsapphictrash

I’m sick by @this-ginger-has-no-soul

Christmas cookies by @procrastinatingsapphictrash

Marry me? by @kassxndre

I’ll remember by @wandaolsen

‘Being a cilllvan and dating Natasha Romanoff would include by @blkmarvel

Coffee mug by @domxmarvel

Proposal by @cwas5749

Her Girl by @buckybarnesthehotshot

Fluff alphabet by @romanoffscottage

Drunk on love and vodka by @thewitchandtheassassin

Magic by @vancityfire13

Imagine Natasha flirting with you, the bartender who works Tony's parties by @druiigg

I’m by your side by @this-ginger-has-no-soul

Love by @fanf1ctionwrit1n

Full-time land shark by @imagine-knowing-a-name

Soft Nat headcanons by @caws5749

Midnight Cuddles by @fandom-oneshots-fa

A date in the lake by @marvelseries19

Imagine the avengers being tired of the tension between you and Nat so they stick you under the mistle by @myriadimagines

Being Natasha’s sibling who didn’t survive the snap and sending her a goodbye message (P) by @myriadimagines

How they’re protective of you by @myriadimagines

Tony hitting on you, despite you being with Natasha by @myriadimagines

Going undercover with Natasha as a couple by @myriadimagines

See the full post

225 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[esse-writing]

Masterlist / Guidelines

Masterlist

Cookies

Billy Russo x reader / 18+ / smut & fluff

Grab a coffee

Billy Russo x Barista!Reader / fluff

No Lies

Aleksander Morozova / General Kirigan x gender neutral!Reader / 18+ / smut & fluff & little bit of angst

Icarus

Billy Russo x Marine!Reader / 18+ / angst, fluff, smut

Rumors

Andrew Garfield x Actress!Reader / fluff

Opening Night

Andrew Garfield x reader / 18+ / fluff

Sick

Billy Russo x reader / 18+ / smut, fluff

Jealous

Billy Russo x reader / 18+ / smut, enemies to lover

Revenge

Billy Russo x reader / angst

Guidelines

Request are open

You can request anything you want, fluff / smut / angst, keep in mind I'll decide what to write based on what I'm comfortable with

For now, since I'm new to writing, I prefer writing short stories or drabbles

I write for Ben Barnes's characters, Andrew Garfield / TASM!Peter Parker, most of MCU characters, Chris Evans's characters, Sebastian Stan's characters, The Witcher (TVshow), Shadow and Bone (TVshow)

Please be kind and patient, do not share my works anywhere, reblogs and comments are well appreciated, just be polite with your opinions 🥰

Lots of love, Esse x

[brightbeautifulthings]

The Limitations of Wax by RayShippouUchiha

"Wax.  Feathers.  Heat. Salt on her face that she pretends is from the ocean. She screams right before she hits the water."

Year Read: 2021

Rating: 5/5

About: Toni Stark's first mistake was being born a woman, and it was one her parents would punish her for until the day they died. It was Jarvis who showed her how to quiet her chaotic mind with building and creating, and no matter how the world persecuted her for being too much--too female, too clever, too brazen, too loose--she had Jarvis's voice in her head, Rhodey's fierce, unshakeable friendship, the stories of Steve Rogers that her Aunt Peggy gave her, and the family that she built for herself. If the story of Icarus taught her anything, it was to build her armor out of better materials. Trigger warnings: death/character death, suicidal ideation, torture, sexual assault (attempted), abuse/abusive households, body horror, abduction, canon typical violence, severe illness/injury, PTSD, panic attacks, grief, sexism, slut-shaming. You can read it on AO3.

Thoughts: It's a little odd writing a review for something that isn't yet finished, but after twenty chapters, I have solid reasons for the way I feel about this fic. It came highly recommended from my Marvel partner in suffering (because to love the MCU is to suffer over it), so there was little chance I wouldn't love it. I just didn't realize how much. I sobbed through the whole first chapter, and that's all the longer it took for me to be completely obsessed with it. This is the fem!Tony AU I never knew I needed in my life, but now that I have it, you can pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

I'll admit that I like Tony but he's never been one of my go-to characters, but fem!Toni is a goddamn QUEEN. @rayshippouuchiha​’s version is full of nuance and thoughtful details, balancing Toni's fragile vulnerability in private with the fast-talking and faster-thinking show she puts on for the rest of the world, and she practically lives and breathes off the page. I'm a Steve Rogers girl at heart, and the story isn't always that kind to him, but there was never a moment I wasn't on Toni's side or where I didn't understand her motivations. I also just love how much she loves him even though, in reality, they don't get along that well. (And that portrayal isn't wrong; Steve can be a judgy, arrogant asshole, especially to Tony/i).

The writing is lovely and evocative, with poetic repetitions of Toni's dreams that give us subtle details on her mental state with each small change. The found family aspect of this story is one of its strongest components. Toni and Rhodey are #friendshipgoals, and everyone needs a friend as warm and unwavering as Rhodey in their lives. The rest of her family comes together slowly, chapter by chapter, and I love every single one of them: Jarvis, Peggy, Happy, Pepper, JARVIS, and of course the bots. I've rarely seen AI written with so much heart, and I'm a Happy/Pepper stan forever now. Also, the Bruce/Toni friendship is everything.

Plot-wise, things start off when Toni is a child and follow her through adulthood, into the first two Iron Man movies and the first Avengers. I love the beginning chapters where we're first getting to know her and the established backstory of the AU, and RayShippouUchiha manages to move through the Iron Man plots quickly enough that it doesn't feel like we're lingering too long on things we already know (plus a couple important differences, of course). I was screaming by the time Toni gets to meet all the Avengers, and even though I already know what happens, I was on the edge of my seat, so suspenseful is her writing. It's only finished up through the aftermath of the attack on New York, and I've never slammed a subscribe button so fast in my life. In the meantime, I'll be working my way through the rest of the Components of Construction series. Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful story with us. 💛