#anyway tho can u tell what i like reading lmao

[hitachiincest]

Hikakao or Kaohika or both?

i think both are good!

like, kaoru & taking the lead in private despite their public front of hikaru being "the one in charge" in their act to provide a sense of Gap & bc he's a little more 'mature' than hikaru? hell yeaa thts real Nice. but hikaru just naturally being/wanting to be the lead bc he's Like That & likes to see kaoru happy & protect kaoru & kaoru's fine w that & likes it? Also nice! they've just got that Synergy baby they can Do It All. they're equal when it comes to mischief & chaos & bein Little Guys Mweehee so why not in a relationship as well? switch things up; keep it Fresh, & all tht!

however i think i might lean towards kaohika a bit tho...? smth abt him being a little more mature/level-headed & hikaru being a bit more rash & immature.. outwardly emotional.. whereas kaoru is more used to concealing his feelings & helping hikaru out.. im thinking specifically very hard abt eps 15-16 especially where this is displayed

like hikaru just being so full of Emotion and he shows it on his sleeve but then u've got the more composed kaoru here to hold him close...

there's also the case of episode 21 where kaoru was completely fine & hanging out w the class rep guy whereas hikaru was like "WHERE'S KAORU?! WHERE'S KAORU?! KAORU??!!" as soon as he realized they were officially separated & how desperate he looked upon finding kaoru, although u could see that as a point for both hikakao AND/OR kaohika, as his determination could be seen as more gallant & wanting to protect kaoru rather than just an absolute need for them to be together, but his lack of composure could lend to the latter & we could end up w a situation like the pension ep again where it's like kaoru consoling him. but the fact he's worried doesnt show weakness, rather a need & desire for kaoru to be safe & a hatred of not being able to protect him, so really... again, that Both Ways thing. they work so well w each other bc Either could rly be the 'leading' one so to speak.

kaorus absolute cute expression in that same ep in response to be found feels like it lends itself to hikakao a bit hehe. i feel like kaoru prob enjoys being cared abt/for tho & he'd prob also like letting hikaru do his own thing. the vibes of hikaru, his knight/prince & him, the princess (since he already has his pumpkin carriage analogy, so why not take it up a notch lol)

i rly like this line at the end of ep 21 tho for kaohika lol

but gahh theyre just both so good.. kaohika better sometimes, hikakao better sometimes... the Versatility...

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

harrison braindump on main but i'm revising the BB ch. 2 bathroom scene between him and suz for a class and something my prof mentioned to me in office hours has TOTALLY skewed the way I see that scene (in a great way).

they mentioned (more or less) that suz is entering this scene with an understanding that her son is humiliating her, which I think is so fascinating. they had pointed out this image of pool water being tracked alllll through a rich person's house (messing with the hardwood, staining the carpets, etc) and how that's such a... defeating moment for suz as a mother.

this was kind of a brainwave for me because a) I'd never thought of that even though duh (I mean... imagine your disaster 21-year-old child breaks into someone's house and floats in their pool fully-clothed and then is caught by the owners who pity him and call YOU instead of the police) and b) it's such an interesting reveal of a theme I hadn't even considered in BODY BACK--humiliation--and what it means to be humiliated and also humiliate someone else.

this whoooole book is a giant humiliation! for suz, she's totally getting the fact that she's not been a great mother thrown into her face--which is hard for her to accept because she's trying now (the question for her becomes: is it too late?). for harrison, he's experienced soooo much humiliation in his relationship with lonan & of course in his relationship with suz when he was a child, and now he's projecting all of that back onto her.

this scene is such a pain to edit--I didn't even like it when I shared some excerpts in my update--but something about my prof basically saying, 'if she enters it with a sense he’s humiliating her, that’s strong fuel,' revealed something deeply complex about BB to me... what does it mean to experience humiliation when you've been humiliated so many times, and what does it mean to almost carnally desire to humiliate those who've also hurt you?

that question, I think, has driven harrison to where he is now (24-karat territory) where his entire persona atm is quite humiliating (also cool but mostly humiliating lol). he's almost... desperately accepting that humiliation in fear that if he doesn't, it'll make him VERY aware of his vulnerability.

which... this gets even more interesting when we remember that in feeding habits, humiliation is a big theme for LONAN, so much so that harrison even notices it in narrative.

and then also to remember this chapter is ALLL about mary & jesus as much as it is about suz & harrison... and THEN to remember that when young jesus terrifies the living shit out of his mother by staying back in jerusalem, the first thing he says to her when she asks him "why did you do this, you scared me" could be interpreted as humiliating (he basically goes "why were you even worried, didn't you just KNOW I'd be in my father's house??")... like damn HAHA

[choccy-milky]

bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

[moralesluvr]

hii 💗, i had a request/suggestion, but basically what if the reader (fem!afro-latina.) was a real hothead , had anger issues allat good stuff , really just gets annoyed or mad over the smallest things and she sometimes just lashes out in spanish, what would e42 miles do?

earth 42! miles morales ft. a hothead gf

♡ pairings & aus: earth42!miles morales x hothead!afrolatina!fem!reader ♡ summary: how your bf reacts when you get mad, lash out, etc. ♡ warnings: cussing in spanish, miles just happy to be here fr, i think thats it? ♡ a/n: thanks for your request!! ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡

miles honestly didn't figure out that you had anger issues like you did until you went out on a date and they gave you the wrong order

you were tight, because you had already waited an exceptionally long time to even get the food + the order was wrong? all your patience literally had been lost along with the meal that you were supposed to have

"puta madre...we ordered that shit like an hour ago!"

"ay, mami, cálmate," miles would tell you, soothing you with a rub to your back or a kiss to your lips, "'s aight, we can go somewhere else if you not feelin' this place."

he def knows how to calm you down. sometimes you'll get mad at him for doing or not doing things but he has to remind you that you really ain't wearin the pants lmao. sometimes it ends up in arguments but he knows that you can't control it and that you only mean well

"miles, tú idiota! limpiar este lío en este momento!" (miles, you idiot! come clean up this mess right now!)

¿con quién hablas así? fix that attitude." (who you talking to like that?)

he can always tell when you're about to go off or lash out, so he always tries to stop you if your anger becomes unhealthy. in public, though, he finds it funny when you curse or express your anger in spanish because usually no one can understand it but him

def def def kisses you to make you be quiet. you're talking/rambling too much? he kisses you to make you 'hush that filthy mouth' (his words not mine!)

he can always count on you to tell someone off if needed though. he likes when you stand up for yourself but if you go too far he'll definitely speak to you about it in private

"mami, you know damn well what you said wasn't right. now go apologize"

and u just slither off all grumpy and go apologize (even tho u probably dont mean it!)

he lets you take all your stress out on him, because he can handle it, and you find it relieving. sometimes he'll settle you down with a smoke or he'll let you literally scream at him bc he's unfazed anyways, you could never hurt his feelings

"you piece of shit." "yeah, princess, that's right-- let it all out."

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @enj4i // @chrissytalia // @chaoticevilbakugo // @motheroffae

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 //@sukunas-slutty-bitch // @c3f21 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @moisttowllet // @Dee-m-cee // @liliummz // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @my3tumbles // @aziulsworld // @enchantingfoxsparkles // @mancerseedu // @cafehyunji // @personofyou // @mcdvsr // @kopiivie // @ellatienesuscosas // @venuswash3re // @calliarlerte // @pr0wlerpunk // @tzuyuzzs // @wisepoetrycheesecake // @clearskiiiess // @d3atht3hek1d // @vienreina // @pixqlsin // @caulifloweron // @aizawassimpblog // @stvrgrl // @zerosinterweb // @ishqani // @mookiebut

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @Dee-m-cee // @euphorichappiness10 // @adoree-kaelynn // @mhadnirb // @mmst4rz // @iris-theflower // @fleurrieerecs // @kenlani // @kala2022 // @ilyless // @milesmolasses // @laylasbunbunny // @all444miles // @thecoloredpages // @bl00dsuccker // @evacowan // @popeheywardssecretgf

[mixvyu]

Parfum d’étoile - episode fourty-one

scaramouche x reader smau

previous | masterlist | next

You weren’t late this time.

You were in front of your door gripping the fabric of your clothes in one hand and holding your phone in the other, waiting for him to text.

You turned your phone off then right back on to check the time.

3:32pm

Scaramouche’s classes ended at 3 and he texted you to let you know he’d stop by his dorm room to change but he was awfully long.

You started to think he might’ve stood you up and that you looked utterly stupid standing there.

As you started thinking that, he suddenly texted.

You could only see so much of the text on the notification that was displayed on your screen but you could read the words

‘Sorry, lots of things happened so I’m not…’

Your stomach dropped and you didn’t even want to read the rest of the text message but you were way too curious to not do so.

‘Sorry lots of things happened so i’m not gonna be able to pick u up rn but i’ll be there in less than 20 i swear’

You sighed in relief and your thumbs flew over your keyboard to text back.

´Dpn’t start a rext like tjat beo u scaref me… its finr tho i was gonba be late 2 neways.´

That was a lie.

´Good i feel less bad now’

He added a crying emoji at the end of his sentence, something out of character for him. You couldn’t tell if it was supposed to express relief or if he was making fun of you.

The cold air made your fingers shaky and it made it hard to type correctly but he didn’t seem to pay any mind to that.

You’ve been standing outside for almost 40 minutes now. The weather was awful and it even looked like rain would start pouring at any moment now. You felt like moving from your spot would be like giving up on him like standing in lines for something you’ve been waiting for all week and then chickening out and leaving your spot out of weakness but you got tired of standing there and sent him a text before even thinking about it.

‘Hey uh i’m not feeling that good laybe we should cancel ?’

You regretted it as soon as you sent it but he already read it so it was too late to unsend

‘? Are you sure??

You closed your phone as soon as you saw his reply, not wanting to answer or to face what you did but you realised he would see the read sign and that there was no getting out of this one.

‘Nvm i can manage haha!! I just need to take a pill i’ll be good’

You lied again.

Scaramouche replied almost immediately.

‘If you’re not feeling well we can do that another day i wouldn’t want to force you’

You clenched your jaw. You never understood his mood swing, how he could clown you one second then be the most caring person you’ve met the next it was almost annoying.

‘It’s okay!! I’m already ready anyways i wouldn’t want to waste a good outfit lmao’

Now it was your turn to use a crying emoji, still not sure of what it was supposed to express.

‘Ok :(‘

You chuckled at the frowny face. That too was out of character.

After ten minutes, there were still no sight of him.

You felt like every person that walked passed knew what situation you were in and were just pitying you and god it made you feel like shit.

Maybe waiting at home would’ve been smarter.

Just as you thought that a car you recognised pulled up.

You got up abruptly, opened the door in one swift movement and threw yourself on the passager seat without even looking at who was inside the vehicle.

You let yourself sink into the seat, sighing happily as the warm air hit your skin. And just as you thought you couldn’t get more comfortable you heard his voice

"Hey, so sorry i’m late i hope you didn’t have to wait for too long." Scaramouche said

You finally looked at him for the first time today

He was wearing black baggy pants but you couldn’t tell which top he decided to put on because of the coat covering it.

"It’s fine don’t worry. ‘Was just a bit cold."

"I have a jacket in the back, do you want to borrow it ?"

"Yeah i’d love to!"

He reached for the back seat without looking and pulled out a white jacket.

He handed it to you without a word and put his hand back on the steering wheel when you took it from his hands.

You put it on quickly and felt a tad bit disappointed when you recognise Kazuha’s signature cologne on it.

It wasn’t Scaramouche’s.

" So ? Where are we going ?" He said, finally breaking the silence

"Uhmm I’m not sure anymore… Do you want to go to the aquarium ?"

"Uh sure if that’s what you want"

"You don’t really seem enthusiastic."

"Fishes aren’t my thing to be honest, but if they’re yours…"

"What’s your thing then ?"

"I don’t know."

You let out a long sigh

"You’re not helping me ! Just pick a place and we’ll go !"

"You were the one that was supposed to plan it ! Why do I have to choose ?!"

God you forgot how annoying he could be.

"Ok, ok. What about the zoo ?"

"It’s like an hour drive, though…"

"The arcade ??"

"I don’t have any coins."

"The museum ?"

"It’s a bit boring isn’t it ?"

"Ok just kill yourself." You let out a sound that could only be described as a growl "where do you want to go ?"

"Anywhere is fine" he stopped the car engine realising that decided where to go was going to take longer than intended

"Anywhere is not fine ! You don’t like any of my suggestions."

"I mean, yeah they suck but if you want to go then we’ll go. Everything is fine if you’re here."

"Don’t try to romance me, asshole ! My suggestions are great !"

"I already went to all those places a thousand times so it’s not really interesting frankly."

You mumbled an almost inaudible ‘sorry rich boy’ before sighing for the thousandth time

"What about that library/coffee shop at the mall ? They opened like a week ago."

He turned to look at you so fast you thought he’d snap his neck

"They’re open?! Why didn’t you tell me that before ?! Let’s go !" He said restarting the car.

★

You took a seat at one of the few tables that were in place at the back of the library.

You hoped to use that face to face moment to talk to Scaramouche more before having to tell him that you like him even thought you don’t know him as much as you wish you did.

But that hope quickly died down when you saw that he did everything but stay in place.

He seemed to love books more than anything because he was going from aisle to aisle grabbing some of them so that he could read the back and either putting them back where they belong or nesting them under his arm.

After 20 minutes of that he sat down in front of you, pushed his cup aside and put down the 7 books he had picked up.

Some were novels, some were mangas, some were comics. The genre also seemed to be very different from one book to another.

"I’m so happy they restocked, i’m going to read all of them as fast as possible." He said, taking a sip of his coffee and making a funny face when he realised it was now lukewarm.

"So… you like books, eh ?" You laughed, not finding anything else to say to start a conversation

"Yeah, books are great."

"What’s your favourite ?"

He leaned even more into the backrest of his chair

"Uhm… if i had to say one it would probably be…"

He clicked his tongue not really knowing what to answer

"Oh ! The house of leaves is a super cool one ! I love it !" He exclaimed in a ‘obviously why didn’t i think of that one before’ voice.

"Oh really ? I never heard of it i should check it out."

"What’s your favourite ?"

"Uhm… I don’t really know"

He nodded.

If the entirety of the date was going to be this way, it was going to feel painfully awkward.

★

The walk back to the car was awkward as well even after the many attempts that both of you had at making conversation.

Scaramouche looked as good as ever even though he still didn’t discard of his coat and you were dying to see what was underneath and what kind of outfit he managed to pull together this time.

While in the parking lot, you noticed a few people staring at him and it almost made you feel proud.

"You feeling ok ?" He asked as soon as the car doors closed " you shouldn’t have forced yourself to come if you were feeling bad."

"I’m fine. It’s fine." You sighed "i’m fine."

"The more you say it the less i believe you." He laid his palm against your forehead "well, you don’t feel hot so that’s great." His hand traveled from your forehead to your cheek.

´If you keeps touching you like that, I might start feeling hot.´ you thought but didn’t dare to say out loud.

He looked at your eyes then your lips then your eyes again and you hoped to God he’d just kiss you but instead he took his hand off your face and rested his head back into the car seat headrest.

"So ? Where are we going next ?"

"Uhm…" you checked the time. It was already pushing 8pm "we could go eat."

"Sure that’s fine by me. Where ?"

"I’ll let you pick" you said trying to sound gentlemanly but knowing it was only because you had no idea what to pick and judging by his face, you didn’t fool him.

"We could go to a japanese restaurant."

"Don’t you already eat japanese at home ? It’s a bit boring for you isn’t it ?"

"It’s fine i haven’t had it in a while and i miss it. I’m doing this for me mostly."

You knew he was lying.

"I saw some leftovers when i went over, though ? If you want me to try it just say so." You teased

All he did was hum before starting the car engine."

★

Unlike what you expected, you weren’t face to face with him but instead sitting next to each other at a sushi bar.

"I haven’t had sushi in forever." You clapped your hands, excited for the huge free meal you were about to get.

"I could eat those forever, i’ll never get tired."

You downed the 4 makis you grabbed on the moving tray as soon as they were in front of you.

Before you could even grab something else, a green plate of three tempura was gently placed on top of the plate you just cleaned.

"Are you trying to shut me up ?"

"How’d you guess ?" He smirked half jokingly. "Try those next"

"If you insist !"

You took a bite out of it but before you could have a second one you suddenly felt like somebody was looking at you.

"What ? Were you planning on eating those or something ?" You didn’t have to stare back at him to know that it was his eyes that were gazing at you.

"No, no."

You took a second bite but almost choked when you felt his cold palm on your cheek.

You pulled away startled and uncomfortable by the sudden cold.

"What’s your deal, dude ?" You said, feeling your face heating up.

"Just checkin’ to see if you felt less warm than earlier."

"You said I didn’t feel warm at all earlier."

He looked away staring down at the plate of sushi he helped himself to previously

"Checking to see if it feel warmer then, i guess."

"God, you’ll be the death of me one day."

★

"You should take me out more often."

"Just so you can use me and drain my finances ? No way, i’m never doing this again."

You were leaning against the car, trying your best not to cough as the smoke from the cigarette Scaramouche lit made it’s way through your nostrils.

He seemed to noticed, telling you at least five time that if the smell was bothering you, he could open up the car and you could enjoy all the clean air you wanted but you so desperately wanted to stay close to him.

"Do you smoke a lot ?"

Scaramouche brought the cigarette to his lips, nestling it between them before inhale deeply. He brought it back to his side before releasing the breath he was holding, creating a cloud of fog in front of him.

He took so long to answer you thought he didn’t hear

"Not really. Tonight’s just a great night for a smoke." He finally said.

"How so ?"

He turned and glanced at you before looking up to the sky.

"The sun is setting, the sky is a mix of purple and orange, we’re in an empty parking lot talking about trivial stuff, it’s a friday night. It’s great for a smoke."

You giggled "When did you become so poetic ?"

He sat down, back against the driver’s side door and you did the same.

He put his cigarette out on the floor and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Are you tired ?" You asked, trying to stop your voice from cracking

"Yeah. Just a bit. Do you want to go anywhere else ?"

"No, not today."

Silence installed itself, a non awkward one this time. Only the sound of the wind let itself be heard and the few screams and giggles from the skatepark not too far.

"I love you, kuni."

He straightened up instantly

"What ?"

"I think I do ? Have feelings for you, I mean. I’m pretty certain."

"Wait… Huh ??"

You got up before he could even make sense of the situation

"Today was nice. I live not too far so i’ll walk. Thank you for driving me around." If you had the guts you would’ve kissed his forehead

You fled before he even had the chance to speak.

Extras !

• car seat headrest reference

• "erm i don’t like sushi 🤓☝️" WELL TOO BAD 👎👎

★彡Taglist! [open]

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[elulsdr]

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

PILE 1 PILE 2 PILE 3

hey guys, it's my first pac ever so i would love to have your feedback. this pac also has random messages too rather than what do people think about you.

it's mainly about the messages i got. i hope it resonates⭐️ (i swear i'm better at personal readings LMAO)

PILE 1

people think you're very self oriented and love to have the power over them. maybe you have leader qualities and they can see that. i'd say they think you're more likely to choose logic over emotions. they think you're def the overthinker one. they know you know you're worth and know when and what to say something. they can feel that you like to be seen as cold hearted and powerful. in your head being numb equals having power. people think you're very materalistic as in, whatever you wear you make it seem expensive. people think you're very soft inside but don't let a lot people in. sometimes they can sense that deep down you're really insecure and they can see the other side of you. where you're not sure of anything you do, you don't trust yourself enough. sometimes you come off as really complex and a lot. you seem to be stuck on something. you want to let it go but can't really do it cause you get used to it. so that's why people can sense your imbalance energy. you could be indecisive or air headed these days. still, people know you have the strength to get over it. you could intimidate people at first but when they see the real you -which you dont show it to many they love it. maybe you got hurt on the past, that's why you put a mask like that. you could be very obsessive, and passionate about the things you love. you come off as competitive too.

PILE 2

oooh my broken heart pile.. if you recently gone through a breakup, doesnt matter if it's romantic or friends. people see youve been thru ALOT. you show it to everyone whether youre aware of it or not. people can sense the broken energy. you keep trying to explain your feelings? or what happened between you and the other person and they're like, can she move on already?? but it's cruel to think like that. cause i feel like this relationship somehow connected to your inner child. maybe the relationship helped you with healing your inner child that's why you felt those emotions that hard. people think you're sensitive and a romantic. everything i said was in the past, your energy now seems very refreshing and stepping ahead. also i have a really bad headache rn, are u ok? take care of your health and make sure you sleep enough. you have many sleepless nights. anyways, people see your steps to a better life. although you might got addicted to the new me concept and ignore everyone who tries to help you or tries to talk to you. you're like, i don't want your help i've been by myself all this long i can take care of myself from now on. they are a bit annoyed by this. they think you're a bit stubborn. DEF a hopeless romantic. don't try to burden everything and try to move on with your life asap. take your time to heal. and take people's help -only the ones who really care tho. aww i just got the 3 of swords. pls keep your precious heart safe bby. your love is enough and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them. (wow pile 2's photo says the exact same thing, i didnt mean to do that lol)

PILE 3

hey pile 3, why do you feel so alone even if you're out with your friends? you like to ask people for advice but somehow you don't trust them as much as you trust yourself. i mean good for you but people -maybe your friends can tell that you're faking your feelings sometimes? maybe you feel the need to be happy around everyone even if you feel like shit. they can tell that. there's this person you are stuck on. it seems like you arent able to let them go. people really wonder about you guys. you could be a heartbreaker too. you and your friends are sarcastic people. people could get annoyed by the fact that you guys have fun lol. people think you have it all and you will have it all. they dont like the fact that they cant get a piece of you, your space, your time. it's like, there are people who want you but you got someone else on your mind who you seem to cant have. you like to learn more and more. you're very smart and people like that. but there's just this unknown people love about you. you have the friends, you have the grades, you have the face but what is it that makes you sad(?) and broken? people wonder the shit out of this lmao and you don't give them a chance to understand it. you tend to zone out a lot during the day and your thoughts makes you go nuts. people just seem to curious about you. they don't know enough. the more you don't give them the chance the more they wonder. people feel that you have tons of other shit to do than answer their questions. they know they don't deserve to steal your time like that.

[susamaru-official]

Upper moons as bf/gf headcanons

So basically this is one of my first stories so dont expect it to be all that great but yeah

I included Daki, gyutaro, douma and akaza because I dont know THAT much about kokoushibo, gyokko and hantengu. Anyways, enjoy

GN, demon reader btw

Daki

Literally LOVES hugs

Whenever she gets the opportunity to Hug you, she will

She thinks that you are the 2nd most beautiful demon on earth, besides her ofc

Always braids your hair when shes bored

She loves it when you tell her she is pretty, no matter what

When you are hunting, she always holds your hand

Even tho she is weak, she kills ANY human who even dares look at u in a weird way

The only other demons u are able to talk to without her getting jealous are gyutaro and muzan

Smells like expensive parfume and strawberries

If you talk to anyone else, she gets super jealous

Loves playing dress up with you

Big crybaby

Always brings the most beautiful women Home for you to eat

Loves to wrap you up in her belt thingy and then hug you

Gyutaro now has to take care of to people (probably both crybabys)

Gyutaro

Probably thinks you are joking when you ask him to be your bf

But after a while realises, it isnt a joke

Thinks you are being forced to love him, because he is "ugly"

You actually love him ALOT tho

Always gives you piggy back rides when on missions

Daki also adores you but only like a little sibling

Protects you with his whole life

Hates hugs and kisses

He likes it when you say "I love you" or "you're so pretty!"

Probably smells like blood and poison

You sometimes get scared when he randomly appears behind you

Doesnt get jealous, as long as you don't leave him, he is happy

He last showered 50 years ago but you don't care

Don't touch his hair, he hates it

He loves you, because you actually think he is pretty

Akaza

As soon as he becomes your bf, he won't let you go

Literally way to overprotective

When you go on missions together, he always has his arm around your waist

Trains with you ALL the time, because he doesnt want you to be weak

He wants you to become the strongest demon in the universe

Probably smells like sweat and grass

Always follows you, no matter where you go

Loves hugs and kisses

He gets jealous if somebody talks with you

Even when talking with muzan

Zero patience

Never leaves you alone, always takes you with him

Always wants to fight with you

The Training never ends

Still he loves you alot

Douma

Adores you SO MUCH

He treats you like the God you are

He makes you join his cult too

Loves cuddling, hugging and all the other stuff where he can feel your body

Probably smells like flowers and blood

Gives you Goofy ahh nicknames and you have to pretend that you like it...

If you tell him to kill somebody, he will probably do it

He will spoil you with so many expensive clothes

The most normal nicknames you get are "y/n Chan" and "princess"

Always hugs you when he gets the Chance (like daki)

You have your own throne

Ok that is all for now

Im sorry that doumas and akazas were so short but this is my first story and I wrote this at 2am lmao

Whatever, I hope you enjoyed anyways

My requests are open! Please give me ideas 😀

Ty for reading tho, this took me like an hour

[formulawonu]

Your writing is amazing 💓 Can I request a SVT reacts to their s/o pranking them by avoiding their kisses.

seventeen & pranks

a/n: thank youuuu so much this means a lot <3 and happy birthday minghaoooo!!! 🎂

seungcheol: the moment u swerve when he leans in to give u a kiss he kinda laughs but when u keep doing it he's like ???? he knows nothing wrong has happened but he's thinking anyway... but when u forget ur doing it and try to give him a kiss hes so sulky and moves away from ur kisses. he uno-reverse carded u

jeonghan: ohhh so u wanna play that game. jeonghan picks up on it the moment u swerve once and he doesn't try again. ur playing a game on ur own idk what to say u cant beat him at any mind games ://

joshua: shua laughs his frustated laugh™️ (the one where his eyes get wider and hes 'laughing') around the fourth or fifth time u avoid his kiss. "baby come on" tries to kiss u again to no success. he huffs a lil and goes "fine" he then pouts a lil and OBVIOUSLY u better kiss him now >:( he smiles immediately when u give him a kiss on the cheek im gonna cry

junhui: unlike those that get sulky he finds it exciting and takes it as a challenge. he traps u wherever u are and starts peppering ur entire face w kisses. oh u dont want just ONE kiss? take ten. fight him fr fr

hoshi: "BABY WHY" "PLEASE !! JUST !! LET !! ME !! KISS !! YOU !!" u dont know it but he always needs to kiss u before u/he leave the house bec its his good luck charm or weird custom that he believes keeps u both safe :/ he probably knows its a prank or whateva but hes just so devastated. just let him kiss u honestly it means more to him than u at the moment:/

wonwoo: heeee notices but doesnt say anything lmao hes just like hmmm ok. cmon wonwoo give us nothing!!! but i think he just doesn't react that much because he doesn't try to read into it since u both are generally at a good place and he doesnt need to worry sdjhfgs he probably also can tell ur playing a prank on him -_- but will play along just to see u smile and have fun:/ SICK

woozi: has no time for ur games MOVE he's got enough on his plate😪 will maybe attempt to kiss u ONE more time but if u move away he'll just shrug then go on with his day. its kinda eating at him tho bec ????? damn now u messed w his productivity. pls just put him out of misery and tell him u were playing a prank. he will scoff at u but feel better when u say sorry lmfao

minghao: he knows abt this prank before u even try hskjdfghsdf the moment u dodge his kiss he's like ayeeeee okkkkk i see u then suddenly its both of u fighting to land kisses on each other and trying to dodge the other skdfjhaefkh would be so funny. u both r giggling messes

mingyu: BECAUSE HE KNOWS UR PLAYING A GAME AND HE TRAPS U IN BETWEEN HIS ARMS PINS U AGAINST A WALL AND ITS OVER. "whats this all about?" even u forget ur playing a game and u try to lean in for a kiss and u can just hear him silently laughing and whispering "cute" under his breath. he plants a quick kiss on u and lets u get on with ur day. ur on the losing end of the stick here idk what to say

seokmin: dont even start😭 he's overthinking the moment u avoid his kiss the first time. doesn't attempt again because he thinks he's genuinely done something wrong and u don't wanna be near him. will visibly and obviously give u space the rest of the day until u cave (right away???? pls???) and tell him its just a prank kfdjhs dont stress him out

seungkwan: "ok got it" the moment u dodge his kiss. do not try to outplay the king of petty. will ask u just one time why ur avoiding his kisses. if u say u just don't want it anymore he's like hm ok. none for the rest of the week then <3 the ball is in ur court now u can make it up to him or not uksdfjhfj

vernon: does not even realize u avoided his kiss or he thinks u just didn't notice he leaned in to give u one. he's a simple man and ur relationship dynamic is probably a pretty straightforward one. thinks if u were mad enough at him to purposely avoid his kisses then u would probably just tell him why first sjhdfksd

dino: he's following u around asking u why u dont wanna kiss him fghsdfh "is it my breath" "i just brushed my teeth" "ill brush again ?" he may or may not actually go and brush his teeth. kdfgrf i just think it would be so funny to play this game w him. he sees u find it amusing so he knows nothing is probably wrong but he's still running thru whatever might have u doing this. would be bothering u until u let him kiss u. just do it

[aroacesigma]

YIPPEE ok . funni rhythm game . project sekai. its got miku . the only important background lore here is: there's kind of another world called "sekai" that is made from either strong emotions, or the shared will/dreams/desire/etc of a group. there are 5 units/groups/whatever. 2 of the sekais in the game were made by One Person. one's the clown group dw abt that. but Mafuyu !! fuyu made her own sekai. i thiiiiiink out of her desire to "disappear"?

anyway. mafuyu asahina. silly lil girlie. she is so depressed man. her mother sucks and is constantly pushing her to be the perfect straight-A student and train to be a doctor, and in public fuyu DOES put up that facade (in-game she has two very distinct voices - a more upbeat, happy one, and this very quiet, almost mumbley-one. in lives she'll use her Public Voice when talking to anyone that isn't of her unit)

so ! fuyu. she wants to make music. and train to be a nurse not a doctor. but her mother is super manipulative and controlling (and thats a theme you see across her cards too. in her first event she's literally depicted as a marionette for example) and really has no real control of her life. and then she meets Niigo. because kanade savior complex go brr

so. nightcord at 25:00, or niigo as they're called in the jp fandom, is made up of Kanade Yoisaki, Mizuki Akiyama, Ena Shinonome, and Mafuyu Asahina. they originally only know each other online (kanade finds fuyu thru her music which kanade notes is very dark and depressing, and later resolves to create a piece of music that will make mafuyu smile and bring back some joy into her life. tbh idk abt the other two i uh. am bad at reading lmao) but !! they talk on Nightcord (its discord) until they all meet in the Sekai. which is fucken EMPTY. there is NOTHIN THERE. and its Mafuyu's Sekai. so given the Empty Void that has been remarked upon that it's very easy to get lost and never find your way out .......yeah

so . as the events progress you get to see mafuyu come out of her shell more as she hangs out with niigo. her mom is. Not Happy (when is she ever smh) and in one event her mom even throws out her music equipment and laptop (iirc) claiming that it's a "distraction", and tells her to stop hanging out w/ niigo bc they're "bad influences" (or smth). mafuyu, obv, does Nyat do this and continues talking to the others.

a few events later mafuyu finally reaches her breaking point and stands up to her mother . and then promptly flees to live with kanade after everything she had to deal with. so now kanade & mafuyu live together ! but mafuyu rlly is making progress like despite it all, in newer cards/depictions you can even see light in her eyes !!!

but yeah shes . shes my silly. and so like. Gender to me. her and mizuki (canon transfem/nb person btw. go mizuki go!!!!!!!!) got a duet version of the song "Villain" which is literally abt bein fucken. trans. u can't just put the Canon Transgirl in with the Transmasc Vibes Character in a Song About Being Trans, man /j

i lov her tho shes doin her best. she kind of lost all sense of identity due to having to be what her mother wanted her to be, and niigo is slowly helping her figure out who she is, not who her mother wants her to be. its very nice

compared to the other stories niigo's is. way more deep and intense. but ! they all have their Things :3

anyway yeah im insane abt mafuyu asahina this has been my tedtalk i need to go to bed

OHHH she sounds awesome fuck yeah :) very glad that she is happier these days...love that . i really do need to play project sekai honestly i tried one time but i got too used to the enstars format for rhythym games and i sucked absolute balls at it. anyway gn bff <3

[hyponautica]

im kinda new to lifesteal and i havent really thought about other members bsides clown and branz but school is gonna enter a break so my brain has finally been alloted time to hone in on this. and i have some design ideas for a few members.

also feel free to tell me anything about anyone if u wanna give info cuz i would also rly appreciate it. im dead srs, i will read bible length text. anyway-

ash is so emo to me. he has that angsty teen in him. long sideswept hair with a bit of it brought over his left eye. im also gonna do that thing i saw a lot of ppl do of that glitchy thing over his eye but on the hair as well cause, it just fits with his skin. i dont wanna leave em too independent to what they actually look like in game

minutes skin is good enough for what i think he would look like! but he definitely has a bow motif on his skin that i wanna add a teensy bit more to! also his hair. not fire, just like, smoky. also a trenchcoat would be good i think. and ive heard some members call him a walking base so i ran with that idea and i wanna give him a suitcase with like infinite space inside.

i think redd is good being left nice and simple! i think the simplicity adds a lot in his case. but i wanna give him slicked back hair, kinda like crocodile from one piece but a bit messier and mb a lil curly to add a bit more uniqueness?? also small demon horns cause the red motif goes hard with that idea + the suit he wears. i also dont know if i wanna keep his face featureless or give him a mask thats a rly similar red to his skin

zam is such a creature. just some sleep paralysis demon creature thing. i like to imagine his head is nothing but an eerily smooth and perfect circle and he just sharpies that signature smile on his face and it really shows when it starts to fade away. also to add to the creature vibe i wanna make him rly skinny and bony, and he hides it with oversized clothes. tho his hands definitely give way to that fact

leo, i also wanna leave him simple but i wanna make him a cyborg. the details would probably be in his cyborg parts (mainly head to draw attention to it). his channel name is on his skin as if theyre initials so i wanna make it like the initials on the side of a helmet? in this case i thought why not make the theme like how ppl imaged robots in the 80s? i dont think i can explain my idea well thru text so i guess ill show ppl when it comes down to me drawing it. i just think the cyborg idea fits when hes basically a walking moai statue from what ive seen in his videos lmao

thats kinda all i have for now which are actual solid ideas in my head! im currently walking home from school rn so its hard for me to focus as much as id like. if i remember anyone else or think of em ill post it later :33 i just havent watched enough of the members currently, itll come to me soon enough dont worry

[jooniely]

It's so wild to me but I've noticed with the multiple svsss fanfics I've read, people do not like Yue Qingyuan 😳 like the sv Fanfic fandom is kinda harsh on him?? It's wild to me cuz characters like Shen jiu and original Luo Binghe have fics that paint them in sympathetic light (not all ofc) but the worst Yue Qingyuan has done is not tell Shen Jiu why he never came back and not stop the abuse towards Binghe (we don't know enough about whether he truly never stood up for Shen jiu)

Some write him as this really whimpy wishy-washy way and it's like? He's a sect leader?? His sect is powerful and well known?? He would need to be good as a leader to have a sect that's so recognized!

Yue Qingyuan is not my fav character. He's meh to me but he's not really bad? (Yeah being a bystander to child abuse is bad, but that's something every single character in the story has in common)

I think MXTX's best skill is the psychological complexity she assigns to each character. My fav character to read is Shen Jiu just cuz there's so much there! Followed by Luo Binghe. And there's def fanfic writers who do these characters justice. (My fav fics to read are the Shen jiu is Shen yuan fics cuz wow the drama, the psychology, the mess, the complexity!)

My only hope is that writers can look at each character and analyze why they did what they did. Don't erase things and don't really add things? Like the entire reason Shen jiu is so interesting is that he's a parallel to original Luo binghe, he DID give him a faulty manual and DID abuse him. No need to attribute those to other things to make him misunderstood. He already has things that are misunderstood! The reason he goes to brothels, the relationship with Ning yingying, liu qingge's death. Forcing yourself to admit the good and the bad will force you to be more creative with how you go about writing these characters and potential redemption arcs if u choose to include that

Anyways this was about Yue Qingyuan lmao I ended up somewhere else with the topic but I kinda wanna hear what others think about this. I haven't read the extras of svsss but so far I think yqy never said anything about why he never came back because he was ashamed and felt guilty. Some writers have pointed out how it would feel like an excuse if he were to explain (even tho it wouldn't be, I think if he had told SJ it would have slowly mended their relationship) another mentioned how its cuz of trauma cuz what he went thru was traumatic as well and could have caused some sort of PTSD. Regardless, I don't think the way he is seemingly treated in fanfic matches his "sins" lol

[epictacobird]

Random “what if MC” scenarios bc my mind can’t stop coming up with them

MC’s gender isn’t mentioned, sometimes I switch between referring to the reader as MC and “you” and I’m too lazy to proofread and change it so it’s consistent soooooo

this is mostly platonic but go ahead and imagine what you want I ain’t judging ;) unless it’s Ortho don’t be weird >:(

Btw if you want to expand on any of these yourself please do it. Just tell me so I can read it I desperately need content for some of these lmao

What if MC was their voice actor?

So there’s some scenarios/fanfics with MC coming from a world where TWST is a game; but no one considers what if MC was their voice actor. I just think it’d be the funniest thing ever if MC popped in with the exact tone of voice of Leona or Malleus.

Imagine the pranks and imitations too. Like Ruggie is laughing his ass off at you making fun of Leona while Leona is just 🤨 tf are you doing

Or you go viral for your perfect Vil impression and Cater is just riding on your fame for “discovering you” he’s very grateful

I’d also imagine some bamboozling, tomfoolery if you will, if you were Trey or Riddle’s va. Like lmao put Riddle in an early grave while you pretend to be Trey please it’s so fucking funny

The chaos tho with Floyd if you were his va- or even better- Azul’s. Endless torture for the octopus boi. Same with Jamil and Kalim. Kalim is having the time of his life while Jamil is about to commit murder.

What if MC didn’t understand their language

So I just think it’d be interesting if MC didn’t speak the same language as NRC. Like Crowley is trying to explain everything and MC is just 🧍‍♂️

Everyone is trying their best to understand you and you’re taking lessons with Trein so at least you could speak basic phrases and read. You’re trying you’re best here.

And as you get closer to everyone I’d imagine people like Azul, Jade and Rook would be interested in learning your language out of curiosity. Does everyone in your world speak this language? How do you say ____? Any phrases that can’t be translated?

I’d also imagine Ortho to be eager to learn everything about you too! Being a highly advanced robot he’s sure to pick up your language easily. Its comforting to be able to talk to someone in your native language.

Ace would 100% ask how to say fuck

What if MC was a warrior?

I’ve seen a couple of these but I’m adding this anyway bc I love it.

Imagine a strong MC, covered in scars, hardened from battle, and can’t for the life of them pass a test in Crewel’s class. Forget about Trein’s too, MC just about gave up. (At least Vargas loves u)

Deuce thought you used to be a delinquent like him once he saw your scars; but left in awe at your stories. Also: workout sessions with Jack and Epel anyone? Epel is eager to learn from you.

Training with Sebek and Silver occasionally too. Even though Sebek initially doubted you he admires tolerates your human presence.

Treat Vil like your Queen and he’ll swoon hard

Idia will pass out btw if you ever pick him up when he asks if you saved any princesses like in his games/anime

What if MC was a famous singer?

Yeah yeah another somewhat common one stfu

I can imagine MC being almost excited when they realize they can relive the experience from starting out a newbie. Like you already know all your songs, the tips and tricks to preforming, and what a crowd loves.

When a mysterious singer pops out of nowhere and immediately becomes a hit you know Vil and Neige are already on the move investigating. Who’s the new competition taking over Magicam by the storm?

Ace and Dunce probably caught you playing (you bribed Grim with tuna to stay quiet earlier) and exposed you later on accident.

Depending on the music you preform you probably have some fans in the school. Maybe you’ll preform live for the first time at VDC in the hopes of securing a future career if you can’t get home (or if you don’t want to)

Imagine catching Jack or riddle listening to your music tho and being a hardcore fan

What if MC was a painter?

A lot of hard feelings came from being ripped from your world and being placed into a new one… and what better way to express that than painting?

Whether it be portraits or landscapes, when you found free/cheap supplies at Sam’s and the dorm Ramshackle became covered with your paintings. And once you got around to selling them you found you didn’t have to worry so much about food expenses.

Imagine painting Malleus though, like hello beautiful mysterious fae man that appears in the night and you’re not immediately picking up a brush to paint him???

Lilia is gushing, Malleus is blushing, and Sebek is rushing to either praise you or end you for painting his beloved crown prince of Briar Valley, his excellency, the magnificent and powerful-

Btw Azul is trying to put you in a sketchy work contract to paint in the lounge for some publicity be careful lmao

[emiliosandozsequence]

what scifi media do you like?

OH ANON I HAVE SO MANY. i'm so glad you asked 💕💕💕 (tagging @gorydean too so she sees 💕💕💕)

gotta start first and foremost with the sparrow series by mary doria russell as my blog is basically just a shrine to it at this point. amazing book and definitely recommend it if you love found family, first contact, trauma, tragedy, and the abandonment of the faithful by g-d. huge massive trigger warning tho. everyone says the second book isn't as good as the first, but i completely disagree. i think they're bitg equally as good as each other; the second book just takes awhile to get to the most insanity inducing parts whereas the first one starts out strong with that and keeps going until the end of the story.

i would have more books to recommend, but i've only just started REALLY getting back into reading after several years of not reading as much due to a variety of reasons (mostly trauma and chronic and mental illness). that being said, i have an insane amount of films to give you to watch instead of books.

gotta recommend my all time fav film (or one of the two anyway), the fountain. most people...don't like this movie because they think it's hard to understand and doesn't make sense towards the end (i had to watch it several times to get it), but please please please watch it. it's a beautiful film both visually and plotwise as long as you give it a chance 💕

sound of my voice is softer in terms of scifi, but still definitely scifi. it's another film that lets you decide what to believe. it's also another film people tend not to like for whatever reason, but i think it's extremely well done and the ending is so 💕💕💕💕💕💕

cloud atlas. very much a story in the same vein as the fountain taking place over different timelines. another beautifully done story about how everything and everyone is connected throughout space and time. ofc my fav timelines are the ones with robert frobisher and sonmi-451. i do also recommend the book, but i liked the film better because of a few of the changes they made.

sunshine is one of my fav films ever and i've loved it since i was in high school and first saw it. it reminds me a lot of three body problem in the sense that antagonist (idk if i would exactly call him a villain even tbh) is using g-d as a reason for the things he's doing. there's a few deleted scenes i wish they'd kept in because it really emphasizes this, but even so, this film is gorgeous in so many ways.

i origins. if u can't tell already i'm a huge brit marling fan and i think this is one of her best stories. again: you get to choose what to believe and you really have to watch the whole film for the pay off, but it is so very much worth it. i think i've actually only ever watched this film once, tho idk why bc it's genuinely one of my favs.

looper is another film that idk why more people weren't into it. the setting is dystopian. i was trying to think of a way to explain it in a few short sentences like i have the rest of the films here, but it's one of those films also that i think going into it knowing nothing is better. the kid who plays the rainmaker is so fucking good too. he's not even 10, but he played that role perfectly.

elysium. EVERYONE KNOWS DISTRICT 9 BUT NO ONE KNOWS ELYSIUM. i stand by my opinion that this film would be infinitely better if diego luna were the main character instead of matt damon, but even so i really love this film. the score is gorgeous. also lmao we for real might be living in this universe soon if elon fixes up that space hotel he wants to do fucking rip

ender's game. the author is a homophobic and transphobic dickwad who actively gives his money to anti-lgbt organizations, so watch this for free if you can (and buy the books second hand), but i actually really enjoyed what they did with this film. a lot of people thought it was too rushed, but also like....ender's game is a very Dense book, so i understand why they did it the way they did it. also the score is amazing.

signs. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact. this film gets shit on a ton for reasons i do not know, but it's actually really well done. it scared the ever living shit out of me the first few times i saw it tho bc i did Not grow up watching horror.

knowing. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact (can you tell i have a type of film/media i like???). this film also scared the ever living shit out of me when i first saw it to the point i had to sleep with the lights on, but in all actuality it isn't scary at all (i was just 14 and had never seen a thriller before lol). i really love disaster films tbh, but this is one of my all time favs (next to greenland).

another earth i did not like when i first saw it. i thought the whole thing was kind of pointless and didn't make very much sense, but the more i've thought about it since then, the more i've understood it. funnily enough, i never watched it a second time, but it's brit marling, so i probably will eventually. again: definitely recommend.

lucy. listen i know this has scarlett johansson in it and none of us like her, but this film is good despite her. i thought it was going to be dumb as hell when i first saw it, but i actually ended up liking it so much that it's heavily inspired the next novel i'm planning on writing (a scifi space opera about a girl becoming g-d).

origami. okay this one is difficult to find and you WILL have to buy it if you want to watch it (trust me: i have searched FAR and wide for this film in any other place and vimeo is the ONLY place i found it; it's only $5 to rent on there tho), but it's so worth it. it's worth it. it's one of my fav films and i watched it purely because of francois arnaud and i'm glad i did. this literally is his best work imo.

ink is my all time hands down favorite film. idk if you would even call it scifi, but i love it so much i just wanted to talk about it. it very obviously had zero budget, but they used what little money they had VERY wisely and the result was this beautiful film. the story makes me sob every single time. actually it's quite similar to origami, so if you like one, you'll probably like the other.

tron: legacy is another film that people shit on and idk why. it has The Best religious imagery. like how are you going to top one of the programs falling to their knees in prayer as flynn passes by????? the whole thing seems to be a jesus/judas metaphor anyway and i'm crazy for that shit. gotta mention the score as always because daft punk knocked it out of the park (people shit on the score too and i really don't get why).

thelma. i watched this one a whim with a friend and i cannot recommend it enough. i feel like it was kind of popular on here when it first came out bc it's a sapphic film, but it's also just very good in general. i've seen people get super upset about it also bc their interpretation makes it lesbophobic (which is crazy to me but whatever.

melancholia. i did Not like this movie for the longest time, but then i watched it recently and finally Got it. i guess you really do have to be a certain level of depressed to understand this film, so if you're insanely suicidal and can barely function like me, then i recommend it. you will probably get some catharsis out of it like i did. it is a very Strange film tho.

the creator came out at the end of last year and it was so good. definitely my fav film to come out in the last few years and involves g-d, religion, and AI. the score also in this is great (everybody say thank you hans zimmer. again.). the ending makes me sob so much.

more that i love a lot, but not as much (apparently there's a character limit, so i can't explain why these are my favs too, but it's for similar reasons as above).

the matrix trilogy

the fifth element

snowpiercer

blade runner 2049

as for tv shows, i don't have as many, but i do have a few that i would highly recommend if you like any of the films above:

halo. again: everyone shits on this show, but the absolute TRAGEDY of it is the fanboys hate it bc they suck and are bigots and everyone else who would like it (LIKE MY MUTUALS) refuses to give it a chance because of its overall reputation, so i'm BEGGING YOU GUYS TO GIVE IT A CHANCE.

foundation. genuinely fucking good. so much of what the creators of this show have done to change the story has been for the better. i read the books and they were okay, but the show is so so good. idk when season 3 will be coming out, but hopefully soon (same for halo, which i actually like better than this show).

the oa. i will forever mourn what we could've had with this show. i can't even talk about it without getting choked up. this getting canceled really truly fucked me up.

castle rock season 1. technically a horror series, but this season is more scifi than horror, i think. everything really comes to a head in episode 9 iirc and that episode still makes me crazy when i think about it. i definitely need to do a rewatch.

firefly/serenity. you've probably heard this one recommended before, but there's a reason for that. it's really so good, but g-d and jesus hate me because it too was canceled before it could even finish ONE SEASON. thankfully there's a film that kind of ties everything together, but WE COULD'VE HAD SO MUCH MORE.

i tried to put in some movies that aren't talked about as much on here!! i also have several letterboxd lists dedicated purely to scifi, which you can find below.

holy holy holy (scifi (and other films) involving religious imagery or straight up just about theology

the sparrow cinematic universe (films that are either discussed in the sparrow or remind me of it or that i could see the main characters watching)

but it was my body. it was my blood. and it was my love. (films that i either genuinely believe could be based off of the sparrow or just remind me of it in some way)

per aspera ad astra (scifi films i have seen or heard of. this literally is every single scifi film i remember ever in existence so it's quite long)

also mainstream scifi that i recommend/am obsessed with

interstellar

dune series (wer'e talking about the books here; not whatever the fuck denis villenueve pulled with the films lmao)

district 9

annihilation/southern reach trilogy

ex machina

prometheus

pacific rim

arrival

event horizon

mad max: fury road

nope

mobile suit gundam series (mostly hathaway and g-witch tho)

star wars (mostly the prequel and sequel trilogies)

nausicaa of the valley of the wind

castle in the sky

inception

tenet

high life

aldnoah zero

hanna

real steel

86: eighty-six

this is so much longer than i meant it to be omg. anyway people do not call me the scifi queen for no reason.

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]

| ✮ 3.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]

ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.

i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.

when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.

i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

finny -

*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.

jack -

tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.

autumn -

*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers]

"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny

"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny

"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack

“this baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.” - autumn

"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny

all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?

[lucinatta]

GIRL OK I'm going to vent. If u want to read that'd be great cause I want to know if I'm in the wrong here lol. It's long tho so no need <3

Last monday was my birthday, it's a sucky day to have as a bday so what I did was invite my friends over for dinner on sunday, wait till midnight, blow the candles, eat some cake, open presents, and send everyone on their way at about 1 am so all of us could sleep relatively early. These were like, my "important" birthday plans, because they happened on my actual birthday. I invited my closest friends + 2 girls my friends have been dating for about 7/8 months, because a) I like them! and b) I knew they were spending that weekend over at my friends' places anyway so bringing them was easier than not.

Context for later: The 2 friends with the girlfriends are male, those are the only 2 partners that are external to the friend group, there's 9 of us, and we've been friends for about 10 years.

Anyway, so when I set that plan up on the gc, I explicitly asked both my friends to bring their girlfriends. They told me they would, they did, everything went great. After sunday's plan, I proposed we go out to dinner and then for drinks this saturday so I could have like proper bday plans that don't get cut short because everyone has to get up early for work. Everyone said they could come. Great, no issues so far.

Issues start yesterday, in a gc I'm NOT in that my friends made so they could discuss my present for sunday + a surprise cake (that now I know about lol) for saturday. This is not uncommon, we have bday groupchats for everyone in the group. One of my friends (girl) proposes the surprise cake, and apparently one of my male friends says that his gf can make the cake (as a gift) because she works as a baker. My friend (girl) says that it's not a good idea, since it be weird to have her make a cake for a plan she's not invited to. Apparently this caught both my male friends off guard, because they were under the impression that both their gfs were invited and had already told them about the plan. Now, to be clear, I didn't invite them and at no point did I imply they were invited. Not necessarily because I didn't want them there specifically, but rather because I wanted a night out with just my friends. These 2 girls come to a lot of our plans as a group, but when they do it's because we either tell them to, or our friends ask if they can come. NEITHER OF THESE 2 THINGS HAPPENED!! I want to clarify though, I didn't and still don't feel strongly about them not coming, and if it had been up to me, I would have liked both my friends to reach out to me and let me know that they had misunderstood, that they thought the girls were invited and that they had already invited them, and I would have told them to bring them!! like it really wasn't a big deal. Instead they got upset and told their girlfriends that they couldn't come because I DIDN'T WANT THEM THERE, which sounds sooooo much more drastic than what it actually is. So I find myself in a very shitty situation with NO WARNING (because again, this started in a gc I'M NOT IN!!!), when one of my friends sends me this really long message about how sad and hurt he is and asking me if I'm mad a him or his gf or whatever, and how he had hoped that I would think of her as my friend after all this time. To clarify she's not my friend, she's my friend's gf (that I really like!!), and "all this time" is 8 months lmao. Now these 2 girls think that I hate them, and I have to apologize for something I DIDN'T DOOOOOO. Like this wasn't my misunderstanding, I wasn't even on the gc!! and like what options do I have, realistically? Telling them to backtrack and invite them back gives major "you can come, IF YOU WANT" vibes and I hate that, and telling them that, no, they're not invited sounds like I don't like them or want them there. Like both my options suck.

Things have smoothed over now with my friends but I know they're mad about their gfs being hurt and SO AM I but like, it's not my fault!!! They (my friends) assumed they (their gfs) were invited when they weren't!! But again, it wasn't something I felt strongly about! like honest to god idk why they didn't just tell me they had invited them because they thought they were invited before stirring the pot behind my back. Now everything's a mess and things are tense because the rest of the gc sided with me. And I'm not gonna lie I'm kinda mad that they made this my problem on my bday week. Like couldn't you have waited a week to bring it up?? Anyway that's it lmao

[izzy-b-hands]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @sherlockig, thank u Alexz!!

Under the cut bc I got wordy and rambly as per usual lol.

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Kind of? In that I more or less named myself after Izzy from our flag lol. Not that I'm going to tell everyone I meet that, but it is a big part of why I stuck with it after trying it out (that, and I've always wanted a name that had the letter zed in it, silly as that may seem.)

One of my middle names (that I had been using as a first name for a few years) is after my grandfather and aunt who also have that name as their middle name.

My deadname was after an actress famous in the 90s (tho tbh my mum apparently didn't choose it for that, she chose it bc she didn't find out my gender until I was Out and then was like 'aw fuck I don't have a name for this situation' and went with the first one she saw in a book of names a nurse gave her. It was only after that she remembered the actress when I was like. 4. that she changed and started telling ppl it was after that instead.)

And technically Holden is after the book character, but mum never actually read that book (and after I described it to her, said she has no interest in doing so lmao), she just liked how the name sounded and that was the one solitary name she for sure had on hand when I was born apparently. Could have saved us all time had she just used that one for me anyway!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Couple of nights ago. I'm doing better abt missing my cat Nisha, but my phone will toss up compilations of pics of her to mark the year/month/etc and sometimes those still get me. It popped up just before I went to bed that night and I was already so tired that I just. broke down. Bc I know she's v loved and looked after w/my mum, but I do miss her goofy lil self a lot. She was my first cat that was given to me and meant to be mine alone, and there's something abt that first pet bond I guess.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope, and it's not a likely thing for me. I've said before that that happening would be in a very specific situation, wherein I'm with someone who wants to dedicate the rest of our lives to raising a child, or god forbid more than one, tho I think I'd max out at two if I managed one at all tbh (and that's not even getting into the very complex for me thing of would I want to actually be pregnant ever (probably not, absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth and don't see myself getting over that easily), we have the funds to make that happen (and give the kid a good life, not just a decent one or 'could have been worse' like my own), and we feel stable mentally, emotionally, and physically (as much as one can outside of Life Happening of course) bc having a kid means putting allll of that first for them, ahead of yourself. Or at least I think it should mean that lol.

But that situation is incredibly unlikely considering my bigger goal in life is to wind up being a third for multiple couples while also fucking any of my friends who are down for it in a big poly ENM sort of thing for lack of better/more detailed definition (I know it sounds unrealistic and maybe it is to a degree, almost definitely is lol.)

I can admit I just. don't want to uproot the life I've been trying so hard to build for myself in so many ways, to have kids. I'll happily help babysit the kids of any friends tho and be the fun uncle that buys them junk food and lets them stay up late to watch movies. I think that's about the level of parenting of any kind that I can handle for now (also tbh I burned out on parenting bc my family admits they parentified the fuck outta me with my three younger cousins. It by far could have been worse, but I spent my teens spending most of my days after school helping look after them from the newborn years and on. Unless my above uber specific scenario happens, then I've probably had my fill of parenting for my lifetime.)

4. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

I played volleyball for a few years in elementary school, and we were made to participate in a multi-school track and field thing for most of middle school every year, but I was never amazing at them. Housemate and I have figured out I likely have undiagnosed asthma tho (turns out running or going out in too cold or hot weather shouldn't instantly make you gasp, struggle to breathe, and make you taste iron in your mouth, who the fuck knew? Not me, genuinely) so I think that might have a lot to do with it.

I also enjoy tennis and badminton and would love to try rugby, but I've never played any of those beyond a hobby with family/friends.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

I do! Probably too much and not always in the best situations, but I've been working for years to hone when and where it should be used so I think/hope I'm a lot better with it than I was when I was younger. Tho even then, I did get adults who found it funny when I was sarcastic bc of how adult I seemed to a lot of them (their words, not mine lmao.)

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

I genuinely don't know. Usually I'm too busy running my script for meeting new ppl in my head and trying to maintain Common and Expected Etiquette to really notice much right away. I have found that after a bit of time/after the initial meeting has passed, I tend to notice colours ppl wear more often than others if I see them often enough, or hair colour. But I don't know if it counts towards this question at that point lol.

7. WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Kinda blueish grey? Some ppl say it's too grey to be blue, others that it's too blue to be grey. I had a lady at the ND DOT freak out abt not being sure if I should have blue or grey on my ID a few years back, and she finally just told me to put blue so 'she could stop feeling so confused.' Was a weird day and the first time I realised apparently they really do have a blend of both colours, enough for it to be upsetting lmao.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I can't choose between the two; I like both! I also like mixing them together when I write (a scary story with a happy ending, an ending that seems happy but is actually terrifying, so on and so forth.)

9. ANY TALENTS?

Writing? Maybe, I always list it bc it's something I know how to do and to (usually) do decently well. I can sort of draw? But not well enough that I think 'talented' would be accurate to describe how I draw lol. I'm not sure of anything else off the top of my head tbh.

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

In California, USA! We were there bc dad was in basic training for the Marines and then just got stuck at Camp Pendleton for years lmao (or that's how he always talks abt it anyway lmao.) Only was actually there until either: a. I was 3 months old, b. I was 6 months old or c. I was actually basically still a fresh newborn. Depends on whether you're talking to my dad, mum, or grandparents as to which answer you get, and at this point I'm genuinely uncertain as to exactly when mum left and took me to North Dakota but 6 months seems the most potentially accurate lmaooo.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Writing, drawing, reading (not enough but I'm trying to remedy that), napping, watching movies/fave shows, and giffing.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Kind of? My cat Nisha had to stay in North Dakota after I moved, so my mum and her bf are looking after her now (and got her a little sister, a kitten who is getting so big already!, named Bella.) I help Housemate look after aer two cats as well, and I'd like to think the boys consider me like their fun uncle lol (aka I bend over backwards for them and let them steal my spot on the couch all the time, and will break out the treats if needed to corral them now and then. In my defense: they are the cutest lil baby boy cats and they deserve the world, even when they're being little gremlins lmao.)

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Approximately somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4ish? I can't recall the last time I was actually measured, and most of the ppl I've been around were somewhere between those heights and I'm usually either slightly shorter or slightly taller than some of them, so??? I put 5'3 on my ID tho lol

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

English bc it was easy and I liked almost everything we did in that class. All my general and more specific history courses were a close second, and my foreign language classes a close third.

15. DREAM JOB?

Ideally, I'd love to not have to work. But who wouldn't, so that said, probably something in a library or museum. I'd love to be a library page again, or help work the front desk/docent duties of a museum. Working at someplace like Mystic Seaport would be amazing too; I'd be happy to learn how to help repair/repaint ships that come in or just help do tours or look after artifacts and stuff (tbh they could hire me just to type up any random data entry work they need done for any/all depts and I'd say yes to the job offer lol.) Unfortunately there's fairly significant roadblocks to me achieving any of these jobs rn, but I like to keep them in mind, just in case.

Also, if I can have one dream job that would be even more unlikely and is slightly TMI probably but: paid third for a rich couple. I show up, look nice, [redacted], make sure they're both good for the night, then go back home to Housemate (if it wouldn't be a night they'd want me to stay over, which I wouldn't be against but also. That would require some overtime pay lol.) The chances of this one are...so unlikely it's stupid funny, but a man's allowed to have dreams right lmao?

Tagging (if u guys wanna, no obligation if u don't wanna/have already been tagged/etc!!): @starmoonchildfromthebeamsabove, @freebooter4ever, @willowenigma, @turtleduck-tales, @mash1972, @mysteriouslybluepirate, @turtles-on-turts, @cononeillbreastingboobily, @treesofgreen, @dianetastesmetal, @arsenicflame, @gydima, @king-bussy, @p0ochy, @crvwly, and anyone else following me who wants to!