#anyways. this has been on my brain for a while

[cinnonym]

putting my own tags here because they inspired me to write a fic and it doesn't make sense without them (i think). anyway, here goes:

After the Idea comes the silence, a heavy, horrible thing in the stillness of the office. It yawns and stretches, then settles like a beast for the night, unperturbed by anything but their breaths: Regina’s, slow and pronounced from where she perches on the desk, and Emma’s own, stumbling with the effort to not be suspicious. To not be afraid and wet and wanting in light of the Idea.

The call has ended; Regina ended it. The Idea has affected her as well, even if she is breathing slowly now, Emma is sure: when the Idea was uttered, Regina’s finger twitched. Emma saw it. It was the last thing she saw, before her heart started hammering and her gaze slipped and scrambled for cover, before her brain caught up with the mentioning of the Idea and all its implications. In the space between hearing and understanding, she saw. She saw Regina’s index finger spasm once, curling inwards into a sudden, protective claw, before it relaxed again and ended the call. Then she stopped moving altogether.

Emma wishes, abruptly and with surprising ferocity, that she had never developed the habit of watching Regina so closely. The motion of a single finger – what kind of a creep does one have to be to even notice that, let alone be able to interpret it? The hitch of Regina’s breath, too, the rigidity of her posture, the oppressive, unnatural, ever-extending silence –

But of course, Emma isn’t actually mad at her observation skills, or at knowing Regina Mills well enough to read every line of her body. She’s just mad at the Idea. At how, having been spoken into existence, it is bearing down on them like a weight, like a sharp-edged, monstrous weight that has been dropped on the tightrope that is their relationship, shocking it into oscillation. And where before they could be content in their balance, a reaction to the Idea is now inevitable. Underneath the silence lies a growing need:

They must talk about it.

The problem with the Idea is that it’s not new; it has made a home of Emma’s mind long ago. She means this not in a crude, disrespectful manner, quite the opposite: the Idea, to her, is a soft thing, a want so heartfelt that she cannot but lock it away, for fear it may be harmed in its exposure to the world. Her Idea, that is, her idea of the Idea, her wish for it, is unspeakable, and thereby unfeasible.

Now, however, it has been spoken. It has been heard, which is even worse, for in hearing it, the Idea now exists in Regina’s mind as well. It has spread, it has breached Emma’s carefully constructed containment, and here they are, sitting in silence, both of them thinking about it, which means they must talk about it.

While Emma is still wrestling with that conclusion, the silence around her becomes brittle and breaks as Regina finally emerges out of her petrification and slips off the desk. Her heel hits the floor with a clack; she exhales.

“Well,” she says then. “That’s Cruella for you. She doesn’t mince her words any more than she would her beloved furs.”

Emma swallows. She still doesn’t dare to meet Regina’s eyes for fear of what she might find in them. It seemed so clear to her that they cannot simply move on from this, that the speaking of the Idea must have consequences, yet Regina’s voice is business-like as ever, unperturbed except for the slightest waver in it towards the end, and that may just have been disapproval for Cruella’s fashion choices.

She decides to venture a chuckle. “Right…”

Another silence ensues, and Emma wants to scream. She can feel Regina’s gaze on her, but cannot read it without looking up. Concern, disapproval, anger… Regina could feel anything towards her now, and Emma would be none the wiser. It’s terrifying to be so in the dark about what is going on inside Regina, terrifying and unfamiliar and almost uncomfortable enough to make Emma give in and chance a glance at her. But she doesn’t, because the only thing worse than the not knowing is her fear of the knowing.

After another minute or so, Regina sighs. “Don’t listen to her,” she says quietly. “She only lashes out like this because she’s been in love with Ursula for years and is too afraid to do something about it.”

“What?” That gets Emma to look up, she can’t help it. Blood rushes in her ears and she’s aware that her eyes are too wide, too tell-tale, but she simply must know what Regina’s face looks like, in the aftermath of having said that. If it’s flushed as hers is, or tight with anger and repulsion, indignant about the indecency of the Idea that is desiring your best friend.

But as Emma turns towards Regina, Regina turns away, and her face remains unreadable. Only her breath can give any indication of her state of mind, and it is as slow and conscious as before. Inhale. Exhale. Then: “It’s true. Everybody can see it, except for Ursula herself.”

A thought occurs to Emma, a convoluted thing of metaphor and displacement, a theory so hopeful and yet so improbable that she only knows to voice it in cipher. “How,” she says, “does Ursula feel about Cruella?”

If Regina freezes, it’s only for a second; then she finally looks Emma in the eye. Her gaze is heavy and meaningful. “I don’t know. I have never asked her.”

“I think,” Emma says carefully, “communication could help in many such cases.”

Regina inclines her head, just barely.

“I also think,” Emma continues, “that sometimes a little nudge from someone else can help. In such cases.”

There’s a loaded pause, an opposite silence to the one from before. That was a divided silence, a tense, uncomfortable thing. This one is so mutually charged, it sparks.

Regina is again the one to break it; she smiles. “An inappropriate phone call should do it.”

And Emma nods. “I know exactly what to say…”

[rinskazuu]

→ half asleep, wishing i still had you ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

synopsis. ꨄ︎ weeks had passed since your breakup with the bllk men. it seems they can no longer handle your absence and decide to drink away their sorrow. it turns out that liquor is capable of bringing out the emotions they've carefully concealed, so with the liquid courage they've gathered, they decide to break their silence.

featuring. ꨄ︎ fem!reader x sae, kaiser, otoya, karasu (separate)

includes. ꨄ︎ post relationship, angst, happy ending, alcohol consumption, pining, yearning, begging, aged up!characters to legal drinking age (kaiser and ness are already of drinking age in germany), characters might be a teensy bit ooc (not sorry), not fully proofread

notes. ꨄ︎ i was going to add yukimiya, aiku, and ness but this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i really didn't have it in me to do any more.

♪ track. ꨄ︎ your shirt by chelsea cutler

ITOSHI SAE ⋆｡°✩

sae isn’t the type of man to drink casually. sure, a celebratory drink here and there wouldn’t hurt, but even then, he would never leave himself in a vulnerable position.

sae is a precise and meticulous man, measuring his every sip, cautious not to go over his limit. yet, him gulping more than his usual was a direct result of his current state. i mean, sure, he knew the breakup would sting, but not this much. not to the point where he felt his entire being would shatter if he breathed wrong.

and that’s how life currently felt for him. like every single breath was solely to counter his existence—like his very presence was to appease you. and sae was not the type of man to put somebody else first.

the breakup was primarily sae’s fault, and he knew it. he didn’t have to see the disappointment on your face or the frustration in your teary eyes to know it. despite dating someone famous, you absolutely despised the publicity surrounding you; the attention, the lights, the rumors. so when he brushed off your concerns, feeling angry was more than an understatement. aside from the paparazzi, sae was cold. it wasn't to the extent of how he treated everybody else, but it shouldn't have been how he acted toward you. he was cold to where you would be excited and he would still have that look of indifference and boredom etched all over his face—as if he was saying, “this isn’t worth my time.” while it’s true sae was a loving and attentive boyfriend, those traits had its limits, and you were simply over it.

sae called when he knew you would be relaxing after a long, hard day worth of work, usually indulging in a book or playing a game. you were suspicious but picked up anyway. if anybody asked, you were not picking up because you missed him. surely not.

“come home,” he croaks immediately after you pick up. you were taken aback to say the least. he didn’t even bother to greet you, let alone attempt to make small talk, like asking you how your job was or how your parents were doing. but then again, itoshi sae had no space for unnecessary words or actions.

“i’m sorry?” was all you managed to utter out, shock still lingering in your system. a sigh was let out on the other end of the line. as you were shuffling and ordering your emotions, sae was picking at his supposed “genius” brain to see how exactly he was supposed to win you back. it was a miracle he won you over in the first place, considering his knowledge outside of football—or more accurately, the lack of.

he had missed your presence; seeing your face in the crowd, coming home to your sweet fragrance, holding your hand during even the most mundane everyday tasks, having you in his arms as he drifted to sleep, and everything. what was he supposed to say to convince you that he loves you?

itoshi sae is not the type of man for big gestures or fancy words. he won’t be the one to serenade you or put thought into a romantic poem, and you were more than okay with it, but you refused to lay down and take his disregard for your concerns like a good dog.

after a long stretch of silence, sae finally gathers his thoughts. “i want you to come home,” he repeats, a slight slur evident in his voice. “i want you to understand how apologetic i am. i should’ve listened to your concerns, and i should’ve protected your feelings better.”

“i appreciate your apologies, itoshi, but i think it’s best to stay on different paths.”

sae winces at the usage of his last name. to the world, he is itoshi. he is the prodigious elder brother of the itoshi family; he’s the calculating, genius soccer player, but to you he was just sae. he didn’t have to control his every move as if one wrong step would result in all his hard work falling apart. to you, he could fall apart in your arms and you would still love him.

“sae,” he corrects. “i’m not itoshi to you. regardless of what you might think, i’ll always be sae to you.”

his gaze directs up to the roof of his car, his seat cranked all the way back as his free hand grabbed the canned beer; an accurate representation of exactly what he was feeling—disappointed and bitter. it’s as if sae was purposely torturing himself for letting you go.

“i don’t know what to say,” you reply honestly, twiddling your fingers as you stare at the cover of your book, the words blurring as you zone out.

“i love you, cariño.” your heart stops for a moment. the way his lips utter the pet name so softly—like you would fade away from his life if he said it any differently—causes a hitch in your heart. “from this day forward, i will listen to you more honestly. not because i have to, but because i want to.”

your lips part, partly at his heartfelt confession—where his voice wasn’t devoid of emotion for once—and the other part because you were surprised. sae is opening up to you, even with the idea of rejection lingering in his mind, unlike the itoshi sae you knew who doesn’t toy with intentions that aren’t going to guarantee him success.

“i’m sorry i let you down. i’m sorry i allowed you to feel like i didn’t care. i’m most sorry that you didn’t feel the love that i felt for you. please, amor. i feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest and throw itself into a fire.”

at last, you found your voice and answered him honestly. “i miss you, sae. i love you. i want you to treat me the way i want, but i can't just take your words at face value.” sae understands fully. you made it clear that actions were louder than words, and he is going to fulfill that.

“i know, amor. i just need you to understand that it’s you or nobody. you’re going to be the woman i marry,” he states. it wasn’t a halfhearted swear; he pledged it. “now, please. let me in at least. let me see you again.”

you open the door to a sluggish sae, reeking of beer. despite your dislike for it, you pulled him in for a long awaited hug on both ends. of course, the two of you were a long way from how you were again, but for now, this is perfect. for now, you’re okay with just holding him until the two of you fell asleep.

KAISER MICHAEL ⋆｡°✩

kaiser loathed alcohol. it reminded him of the helplessness and weakness he felt whenever he came home to his drunk father, fists curled up into balls, and angry about whatever it was that upset him that day. and yet, here he was, downing the whiskey like he was held at gunpoint.

here he was, turning out to be the man he detested. never having laid hands on you, kaiser still managed to hurt you, and in turn fucked up the only relationship he ever cared for. you never saw him as dollar signs, only as the broken shell of a man that he wanted to be. you had the patience to love, help, and improve him for his sake, and somehow, he broke you instead.

kaiser knew better than anyone how hurtful words could be, but when push came to shove, he chose to close himself off in fear of what you might think of him. contrary to his image, he was embarrassed to show you just how shameful he is. he could never understand how you were capable of loving him—loving the little boy who never got over his mother leaving him alone with the father who beat him senseless. he never understood how it was possible to still love someone who was never loved.

at first, kaiser was angry. you leaving him? how dare you?! how dare you fall into the same crowd of everybody else in his life; promising him a happy ending and then leaving when it got too hard? but then he came to the realization that you left because he couldn’t step up to be the man he swore to be.

kaiser didn’t bother to call or even text. his entire body was on fire, and he was determined to see you in person rather than speaking to you through a phone. so as you were preparing to snuggle into your bed—and totally not with the unicorn plushie he bought you—you’re suddenly startled by the sound of frantic knocks.

your immediate reaction was to stay in your room—a straight response to those horror movies you forced yourself to watch with kaiser. but the knocks never stopped. they grew more erratic and panicked.

the moment you open the door, you’re greeted with a visibly exhausted kaiser; blond hair a tousled mess, lips swollen from biting, and blue eyes dull—which was massively different from your kaiser.

you stand frozen in front of him, unable to react or even speak, so he takes the initiative. “i’m sorry,” is the first thing kaiser mutters, quiet but loud enough for it to send a shock wave down your spine. kaiser, the emperor, is apologizing.

“what?” his eyes turn down, a clear sign that he was embarrassed. nonetheless, kaiser couldn’t care less right now. all he wanted in that moment was to cease his hopelessness and earn your love back.

“the man i am—was—isn’t somebody i’m proud of. that man hurt you; me, i hurt you,” he pauses, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, because frankly, he didn’t expect you to actually open the door (despite his relentless efforts). “i-i’m not good at this. forgive me, mein liebling.”

on the other hand, you’re still motionless; hand gripping the door, heart pounding, and dozens of different emotions invading your mind. “kaiser, i don’t think we should do this,” you finally whisk up the courage to say. despite still loving him with your entire being, you made it impossibly clear that you were no longer going to love him at the expense of yourself.

“wait. just hear me out, okay?” he whispers, his hand finding its way to your door, not pushing but hoping to be heard. “i didn’t know that loving something—someone—could feel so rewarding. all i know how to do is take and break, and in spite of all your attempts to see me, i pushed you away. for that, i don’t think i could ever forgive myself. you make me feel human, mein liebling, and i despise that, because i have built this monster out of malice towards the man i resent. but i also know that if i let you go here and not shove my past away for you, i wouldn’t know how to live with just myself.”

you’re stunned because despite kaiser admitting that he didn’t know how to get his feelings through to you, he was very much capable of doing just that. his message tugs at your heartstrings; after so long of rotting as you waited for him to open up, you finally get to hear the words that stemmed from his heart.

“i’m not asking you to forgive me right away, sweetheart. you know i’m a man of patience, and even though it’s killing me to wait, i’ll bide my time for as long as you want me to, because i love you. i love you so much i’d defy every rule that defines me just to have you again.” discounting the fact that this was a very big and vulnerable moment for him, the shine in kaiser’s warm blue eyes return.

you heave out a sigh. knowing that this may very well end poorly, you still wanted to give it a try. you understand kaiser’s feelings are rooted in his troublesome childhood and you want to help him, because you love him just as much as he does you. “come in, mikka,” you reply in a whisper, tugging lightly at his sleeves.

the sound of his nickname rolling off your tongue warms kaiser’s heart. he’s aware now that you don’t hate him like the little voice at the back of his head keeps telling him. you still care for him; you still love him.

kaiser huffs out a long awaited breath of relief, his heart rapidly beating against his chest. you wrap your arms around him, inhaling his intoxicating scent along with the whiskey, which is evenly stimulating. he plants a kiss atop your head, silently promising that he would do better.

OTOYA EITA ⋆｡°✩

otoya is inherently a free spirit who does anything and everything based on his own whims. that goes for everything in his life, including the amount of alcohol he was consuming.

otoya, opposite of what the media claims, is immensely loyal to you, which came to a shock to even himself. as much as he disrelished being tied down, he couldn’t even bear the thought of another woman, let alone acting on any impulses to leave. regardless of his problematic past, he willingly devoted himself to you wholeheartedly, but it still doesn't erase the very fact of what he had done; what he was capable of.

he understood the limitations of your understanding and patience when it came to his past. in fact, he was grateful you stayed as long as you did. just the thought of you brought him a sense of humility that he surprisingly liked. needless to say, otoya was still devastated when you expressed your desire to leave. he didn’t stop you—as selfish as he is, he couldn’t. not when he knew that it would permanently destroy your relationship if he pushed you any further. then life changed for the worst—just like that. he saw it coming but he didn’t expect it to be as anguishing as it was. unfortunately, it didn’t seem like otoya cared much for your discomfort any time somebody would bring up another girl he messed with; whether it be a reporter, his friends, or his teammates. regardless of your longstanding tolerance, you just couldn’t endure the thought of coming home one day to find him in bed with another woman. so you broke things off.

it felt like otoya was constantly drowning, as if the thought of you—or lack thereof—was physically pushing on his heart. every breath was a reminder that this was his karma. this was the so called 'consequences,' that everybody spoke of. everything in his apartment reminded him of you—of what he had, what he couldn’t be strong enough to handle.

otoya contemplated going to your home, but the better part of him knew you were just going to slam the door in his face—as he rightfully deserves. then he thought of calling. he desperately wanted to call, to hear your voice, but in the end he was too ashamed to do it. his finger hovered over the call button for many long, stretched out minutes before deciding against it.

so he opted to text you. it was safe, even if it went against his usual do-what-you-please attitude. you were staggered to find a text from your ex boyfriend looming on your phone after your shift. even more confusing, it was a jumbled mess full of typos and nonsense. you kept asking him what he meant and in the end, just made the choice to call him.

when otoya sees your name flashing on his screen, he pauses. with an uncharacteristically anxiousness building up in his body, he hesitates to answer. but he can’t withstand another day without hearing the soft and gentle tone of your voice.

the two of you exchange greetings before you ask, “what did you mean in your text? i’m not understanding any of it.”

his voice hitches before responding, “i miss you. i hate that i ruined this. even though i’ve ruined relationships many times, you weren’t meant to be one of them.” he’s straightforward, not giving you a chance to even process the first part before continuing. “i know my actions—or actually, the absence of it—warranted this, but i refuse to spend another day without you.”

to say you are baffled is an understatement. you knew about otoya’s playboy personality, and you knew it was unlikely for him to settle down, so hearing this not only affirmed your feelings, but also emphasized his love for you. there was no point in your relationship that he had given you a reason to doubt his loyalty, besides not respecting your boundaries about his past, and you were suddenly getting a sense of clarity out of it.

“you’re not the type of person to settle down, otoya,” you reply accompanied by a sigh. even so, you still weren’t completely sure if you should trust his words.

“i know. and i’m sorry. i should’ve started with i’m sorry. listen, i’m not used to having someone to put before myself. as much as it goes against who i am as a person, i don’t hate it because you’re part of who i am now. you’re what i look forward to during every part of my day, and if it means i get to see you and spend every day with you, then yeah, i would gladly tie myself down. i love you and that’s never going to change.” otoya, who had downed just about enough to pass him out, is suddenly sobered. this was the first time he’d ever said i love you, and it felt amazing.

hearing his confession sent your heart beating so fast you were nearly convinced you were going into cardiac arrest. his voice ringing out of your device snaps you back into reality. “i. love. you. i love you and nobody else. i can’t love anybody else. you’ve officially ruined women for me. if it’s not you, nobody else is going to ever make me feel this way again. it’s just not possible.”

“otoya…” you start, unable to find the right words to reciprocate.

you hear the strong inhale of breath he takes on the other end. “eita,” he corrects. “your eita, remember?”

you let out a breath, a chuckle following after. “yes. you’re right. but this doesn’t mean we’re okay again.”

otoya’s heart pounds against his chest. he knows. “i’m aware. i know we’ve got a long way ahead, and i’m going to prove to you that i’m the right choice.” a smile graces your lips at this until you realize the slur in his voice.

“have you been drinking?” you ask cautiously, much familiar with his habits of doing things based on the context of his surroundings.

he admits sheepishly, “yes. it doesn’t help, but it gave me the courage to text you at the very least.” you roll your eyes at his statement, simply amused.

“you texted me a string of random letters. how am i supposed to decipher that?” you question.

given his disheveled state, otoya was pretty satisfied with the outcome of this. he makes a silent promise that he wouldn’t drink again unless given permission as to appease you. but still, he doesn’t regret it. currently, he’s content. everything in the world feels just about right.

“i’m going to bed if you care to join me,” you say, piquing his undivided attention. does he? of course he does!

otoya’s green eyes light up. “are you kidding? i’d be crazy if i said no.”

“okay. we’ve got things to work on and talk through, but for now, i think we did an okay job,” you say in response, laughing at his. “and eita.”

“yes, pretty?”

“i love you.”

KARASU TABITO ⋆｡°✩

karasu is very particular and self-disciplined, rarely consuming any alcohol as it leaves him in an unguarded position, which is a massive disdain. when he does allow himself to drink, he's cautious with the amount he's ingesting; still wary of his surroundings.

as opposed to karasu's attitude toward particular individuals, he was incredibly inferior toward you, always nitpicking his own actions, and holding you on a high pedestal. while he praised and cherished even the ground you walked on, it didn't take long for you to grow exhausted of his constant criticism against others he deemed lower than him. he generally focused too much on other people's ethics.

each insult went hand in hand with the very real belief that he was clearly better. karasu didn't need to see the dismay in your usually sparkly eyes to know he was losing you. and yet, when it mattered the most, he couldn't better himself for you.

life was unbearable and nothing could take him out of this state. karasu—as he does with everything—overanalyzes every detail of your relationship, examining your exact words methodically over and over until he swore his body would simply explode without your existence in his life. a small fire lit inside of him; an ugly, burning rage that was tearing him inside out. a blazing rage that he built against himself. he was hyperaware of his bad habit of scrutinizing others, and he's trying to work it out, now more than ever.

as you exited your work place, you could spot karasu's figure in the distance. perhaps it was your exhaustion after a long day, or the hazy november air clouding your view, but you couldn't help but submit to the pull of curiousity. cautious, you took a step. and another. and then another until you could see his face excruciatingly clear.

eyebags decorated his face, his pursed lips were tucked beneath the warmth of his scarf, and his physique was slumped. you stand halted just a couple feet away, his deep blue eyes boring into yours. karasu leans off his car and takes slow and steady steps in your direction.

you clear your throat seeing him stride your way. "what brings you here, karasu?" his eyes widen just the smallest amount, his step faltering the slightest at the mention of his family name. it's not very noticeable to the public's eye, but to you—who knows him like the back of your hand—it was clear. it was a sign of karasu's image falling apart at your feet.

"i came to see ya," he says casually. except none of this is casual. him showing up at your work place the exact minute he knew you were leaving wasn't casual. him appearing to pick you up like it was routine was not casual.

you blink at him, confusion written all over your face. "why?" slips past your trembling lips.

"because i miss you. i miss ya in my bed, snugglin' in my arms, in my life. i miss everything about life when i had ya." karasu is straightforward, enunciating every word with a breath of confidence. his eyes hold a cool fire that feels like it'll burn you if you kept staring.

you bite in your lip in contemplation. "i'm not so sure about us anymore," you admit in a mutter. "i don't know if it's possible for an us." his face twists in agony.

hearing this shatters karasu's heart and the confidence he had going into this. for a moment, he considers leaving; he knows more than anyone that he wasn't even close to your league, so why should he keep pestering you? but then he's reminded of his brightening love for you—the flame that can't be doused no matter the amount of water.

"i admit that the insults i hurl at people are nothing more than a cover. i know better than anyone that i'm nothing but just a man. i'm nothin' special, but you make me feel like i am. you remind me that i have the potential to be the man i claim to be. i want to turn that into a reality, darlin'. i can promise ya i'll work harder than anyone to become a version of me that you can be proud of."

karasu can only hope that you felt the plea and begs within his message. the plea to end his torment; to take him back. he'd willingly give up football if it meant he could spend every moment—waking and unconscious—with you.

"i'm an insecure, flawed man, and you... yer everything. i'm sorry you had to witness the things i said, the things i made others feel. i'm incredibly sorry for planting doubt in yer mind; that i would ever treat you the same. because i wouldn't—i couldn't."

you peer up at karasu through your lashes, your breaths quiet, and your heart heavy. your heart longs for him, but your brain is uncertain.

at your deafening silence, karasu adds, "there's nothin' i can do right at this moment to prove what i'm sayin', but i want—need you to believe the very fact that i'm so far gone fer ya. i'm so damn in love with you, you can ask me to jump and i'll ask how high. nothin' in this world can rip me apart from ya, sweetheart."

the heat in his eyes burn brighter, and with that last statement, it burns down your walls. "okay. i'm willing to try again, but if you go back on your word, it's over for good."

"i know, darlin'. i'm grateful yer even considering this." karasu sighs a breath of relief, wasting no time nor movement to close the space between the two of you. his arms wrap around you so tight, one would think you'd disappear if he'd let go.

"i'm driving though," you declare, your voice muffled through his sweater.

"why's that, darlin'?"

"you reek of alcohol, tabito." he huffs a chuckle, handing you the keys after parting.

end notes. ꨄ︎ i'm happy with the way this fic ended, but i'm also so relieved it's finished. dare i say good riddance. if u breathe hard enough, u might catch some dust particles flying off from how long this has been rotting in my drafts

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[eddtollett]

i love a sansa brienne friendship dearly but i do tend to think it's arya who brienne will end up escourting home and that friendship is so untapped in fanworks. need them to meet so bad they would each think the other is so cool

[lemonfizzyy]

I actually already wrote an adoption reveal for this idea last year!! Heads up that my writing was worse back then. (Also the ending is pretty abrupt because I never finished it.) Anyway, here it is, under the cut:

Dick raised his hands placatingly, speaking in an infuriatingly soft tone. "Guys, calm down. It's not a big deal."

"Like h*ll it is!" Jason snaps, looming over Dick. "Don't give me that BS, Dickface. I'm going to rip Bruce a new one."

"He's right, Dick." Tim cut in from behind Jason, brow furrowed angrily. "You can't downplay this. Bruce should've adopted you a long time ago."

Tim went on but Jason didn't stick around to hear anymore, moving to the door. He was done with this conversation. He needed to find Bruce. Dick has been the clear favorite this whole time and to think... He wasn't even adopted? What was Bruce thinking? Dick was an integral part of this family, that was clear to anyone with half a brain cell. So what would possibly-

"...Richard, what do you know?" Damian spoke up interrogatively. "Are you hiding something?"

It wasn't Damian's words that made Jason's next step falter, it was the poignant silence afterwards.

Jason looked behind him to see Damian staring suspiciously at a fidget-y Dick. It was then Jason realized that Dick didn't look like he did when he was hiding something that had hurt him. There was no overkill bright smile plastered over open wounds. No frustrated and dismissive 'No, guys. I'm just fine. Drop it.'

Nothing like that, just normal Dick nervousness like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

Jason's eyes narrowed. He had no idea what Dick's look meant in this context but judging by his guilty expression, it wasn't good.

Dick looked around, visibly noticing how Jason, Tim and Damian had all pinned him with their collective stares. He seemed to deflate as he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked away, avoiding their gaze.

"I really didn't want this to be how you guys found out, okay?" Dick started. "I was planning to say something for a while. I was going to maybe record something, or write it all down. But I barely had enough time because this was all so recent, and then Bruce came back and we were all suddenly back in contact and-"

"Get to the point, Richard." Damian interrupted, halting Dick's rambling.

Dick flinched minutely and nodded. He took a deep breath and braced himself before speaking, like he was going to drop a bombshell. Jason felt something like dread settle in his stomach.

"Okay, truth is... I am adopted. Just not by Bruce." Dick admitted, his words hitting them like a freight train. "It wasn't meant to be a secret."

The room was silent for a long moment.

"...What?" Jason asked in utter disbelief. His voice was rougher than he'd like, but he hardly noticed in the face of what Dick was saying.

Jason wracked his mind for who Dick could possibly be adopted by. Alfred maybe? If so, why all the secrecy as if it was something to be guilty about? No, it had to be someone else. But who?

"Richard John Grayson-Wilson?" Tim read out, now holding a tablet open to an official looking website that he definitely wasn't legally accessing. "Last changed three months ago...? Who's Wilson?"

Dick looked sheepish as he opened his mouth to answer, but Damian beat him to the punch, eyes round with realization.

"Slade Wilson? Deathstroke?" Damian demanded incredulously.

Jason's mind came to a screeching halt. Jason had heard about the Terminator before, enough to fear him even though he was hardly active anymore. Not to mention he had ties to enough underground sources to have an idea of the extent of that guy's abilities.

But he'd also heard about Deathstroke from one other source, during the short time he was occasionally training with the Titans.

"Isn't that the guy who kidnapped you when you were fourteen?" Jason asked, voice low.

"No." Dick denied immediately, then he made a thoughtful expression and corrected himself. "...Well, maybe. It was kind of like a kidnapping, but more consensual. It was more like summer camp; he was training me for a bit then he handed me back. But, uh- Yeah, same guy."

Another silence, then:

"What the f*ck." from Tim. Dick winced slightly.

Jason seconded the notion. "What the f*ck."

"I- I don't understand. Why? Doesn't he try to kill you every other month?" Tim stammered.

"The schedule is once a month," Dick corrected. "And he's not actually trying to kill me. It's sparring."

"Sparring." Jason deadpanned. "Deathstroke The Terminator and you have what? Friendly little get-togethers once a month? You have to be bullsh*tting us."

Dick's brow furrowed, tone becoming a bit more steely. "I'm telling you the truth, Jay. It makes less sense to believe he's been genuinely trying to kill me all this time. I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"So you two spar each month." Tim said deliberately, eyes narrowed like he was setting up a conspiracy board in his mind. "That still doesn't answer why."

Dick sighed and gestured weakly like he was going to say something, but no words came. Then after a second he spoke softly, "He looks out for me... He's my dad."

When Dick said that, Jason suddenly wanted to laugh. This was just- TOO absurd. His older brother, Nightwing, the original Robin, wasn't even adopted and his legal father was a f*cking mercenary.

Okay but I love the thought of Dick being the only Wayne kid that was never actually adopted. He was only ever a ward. As soon as he turned 18, Bruce technically had no further responsibility for him.

And perhaps that has always sort of fucked with Dick’s head. He always feels lesser than compared to the rest of his siblings. Half the time, he questions if he can even actually call them his siblings.

He and Bruce fought so much when he was a teenager, and Bruce never formally adopted him, and Dick had been living exclusively at Titans Tower for over a year by the time his 18th birthday rolled around, and the rest of the Fab Five may have had to make sure at least one of them was with him at all times for a few days around his birthday because he was so upset, because he was officially no longer Bruce’s problem, because Bruce didn’t even text him a happy birthday message, because he was mourning the loss of a second family and he had no idea what to do.

He and Bruce have since made up, and they’re on much better terms now, but the fact of the matter is that Dick is still technically not a Wayne.

And maybe none of his siblings even know about it until it’s brought up during an interview. Dick gets nervous, but no one can tell other than his siblings. He looks cool as a cucumber to the interviewer and the audience, but his siblings can all tell he’s upset. The interview ends soon after.

And now they’re all in the dining room at the manor, questioning Bruce, questioning Dick, asking them what the hell the interviewer meant by Dick not being adopted. And Bruce has to nervously admit to all his pissed off children that he never adopted Dick. That he and Dick had been on the outs when he was a teenager, and he turned 18 while living away from the manor, and he’d just never adopted him. But that didn’t mean he didn’t love Dick, because he absolutely does, and still thinks of Dick as his son, still loves him.

But that’s not good enough for the others. They refuse to let another interviewer upset their oldest brother like that again. They insist that Bruce needs to adopt Dick now. Immediately.

And now it’s Dick’s turn to get awkward, to get nervous. Because he insists it’s not necessary. He knows Bruce loves him. He doesn’t need to be adopted, he swears.

Turns out, it’s because someone already beat Bruce to adopting him.

“Deathstroke adopted you?” Tim shrieks.

“To be fair, I didn’t realize it was real until a few years ago!”

“What do you mean you didn’t realize it was real?” Jason questions.

“I thought we were just posing as father and son, I thought it was fake documentation!”

“When the hell did this happen?”

“When I was sixteen.”

“Dick,” Bruce says slowly, and Dick sinks in his seat a bit as he turns back to Bruce. “Why would you have thought Slade Wilson had fake adoption documentation for you when you were sixteen?”

Dick laughs nervously, his fingers tugging at the ends of his jacket sleeves.

“Funny story,” he says, his voice getting higher. “So he sort of kidnapped me and blackmailed me to be his apprentice for a while? When I was with the Titans?”

Bruce blinks at him, and all of his siblings are staring at him with open mouths.

“How long were you his apprentice?”

“Oh, you know,” Dick tries to laugh, waving a hand in the air to try to look nonchalant, “eight months or so? It’s such a fuzzy time, who could know for sure!”

“Eight months?” Bruce repeats slowly. “You were held captive by him for eight months, and you never told me?”

“You just said it yourself, we were on the outs!” Dick says quickly. “I didn’t wanna bug you!”

“Bug me?” Bruce looks like he’s about to start panicking. “You thought telling me you’d been kidnapped and blackmailed for nearly a year would bug me?”

“Well, you’d just replaced me,” he ignores the way Jason lets out a strangled sounding noise, “and by the time I got back you seemed so happy with your new kid and everything and I just didn’t wanna get in the way? Or like, bum you out?”

Dick’s own breaths are starting to come in too quickly, and he’s damn near hyperventilating, and he standing from his chair and making his way towards the door as if no one will notice if he moves slowly enough.

“Anyway, I was in a pretty bad place once the Titans got me back, and I probably would’ve been no fun to be around anyway. It’s all fine though! Everything’s fine! And Slade’s not even a total asshole anymore, he even actually checks in every so often. He’s a decent dad, all things considered. Speaking of which, look at the time, I think he wanted to get dinner with me and Joey and Grant, I better get going! Kay great talk good seeing you catch ya later!”

He bolts out of there so fast, Wally would be so proud. He didn’t mean to mention the dinner with the Wilsons he was headed to, but he was nervous, dammit, it just slipped out.

He’s a total wreck by the time he gets to Slade’s, and they all notice. When Dick tells them what happened, they all laugh at him.

Dick has really not had a very good day. It’s been a very bad day, actually. And now he’s stuck ignoring a million texts and calls from Bruce and his siblings.

He asks Slade if he can hide at his place for a few days. Slade easily agrees.

[chvoswxtch]

crush

pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

summary: you wanna show frank your gratitude for taking on a project for you, but he has other plans.

warnings: swearing, long haired bearded frank (yes that needs a warning), explicit sexual content (minors dni)

word count: 2k

a/n: the first time I listed to crush by ethel cain I immediately thought of frank, & then I saw tons of edits with him to this song, & this has been stuck in my head ever since. I just recently renovated my own kitchen, so naturally I thought about something like this the whole time I was doing it. anyway, this is primarily for @thyme-in-a-bubble & @castawaycreature but the rest of y'all are welcome to stay. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

he looks like he works with his hands, and smells like marlboro reds

All you’d done was offhandedly mention to Frank that you wanted to redo the kitchen. Some new paint, new cabinet handles, maybe spruce up the backsplash with different tiles. It wasn’t even a full blown project in your brain, more of an idea of a project for when you had the time and energy. But Frank being Frank took that and ran with it.

Needless to say, you were not at all prepared for the sight you came home to that evening.

As soon as you walked through the front door, you heard a loud mechanical whirring noise coming from the kitchen. Perplexity knit between your brows as you hung your keys up by the front door, following the familiar sound of power tools.

“Frank?”

Rounding the corner of the entryway, you stopped dead in your tracks and your breath hitched. The kitchen was in complete disarray. The cabinet doors had been taken completely off the hinges and were laid out in neat rows on top of a large canvas drop cloth that was spread out on the floor. There were sporadic piles of dark beige dust, evidence of the wood being sanded before it had been neatly painted that rich shade of green you’d been daydreaming about. There were open boxes of new tile and handles on the island, but your attention was immediately drawn away from the organized chaos and towards the source of it.

Frank was kneeling in front of the counter furthest from you, his jeans deliciously snug around his thighs, and the light grey tank top he wore had darkened in certain spots with sweat. There was a glistening sheen covering the exposed portion of his chest that made you want to drag your tongue over the tan skin, but what had heat blooming in your lower belly was the way his biceps bulged as he drilled holes through the drawer he was working on. You could see the clear definition in his arms and his back as he pushed the drillbit through the thick wood, his muscles flexing in a tantalizing way, and the droplets of sweat that cascaded down his veiny forearm were no match for the wetness that had begun to pool between your thighs.

He was so laser focused on the task at hand that he hadn’t noticed you, hadn’t even heard you call his name, which worked in your favor to be able to ogle him freely. There was rarely anything Frank did that you didn’t find attractive, but watching him work with his hands…that did something else entirely to you. Watching him do something so manly while looking so rugged with that grown out beard and that mess of unruly curls that were damp against his forehead…it made your mouth water. 

When he set the drill down and reached for the pack of screws and one of the new handles, he finally caught sight of you out of the corner of his eye, and he turned his head in your direction. His stoic expression of pure concentration melted into something a little softer. He opened his mouth to say something, but then noticed the way you were staring at him. His dark brows quickly furrowed in confusion, mistaking the look on your face for something else. 

“What? Said ya wanted to redo the kitchen.”

“I didn’t mean you had to do it all on your own, or right away.”

Frank pursed his lips slightly with a light scrunch of his nose and gave a faint shrug of his broad shoulders, slipping the screws through the holes he’d drilled and lining them up with the openings on the back of the handle.

“Had the day off.”

That almost made you laugh. It was such a Frank thing to say, and do. Of course he’d spent his whole day off doing something you’d mentioned in passing. Frank wasn’t a man of many words, but he was a man of action. He wasn’t always vocal or physical about his affection, but you never had to question how he felt. He showed you in how he treated you, and the things he did for you. 

The sweet and thoughtful gesture combined with the way he looked right now had that flame of desire flickering in your lower belly turning into a full blown blaze. Walking over towards where he was still down on his knees, you reached out to push his messy damp curls away from his forehead, smoothing them back with your fingers, and lightly dragged your nails along his scalp in the process.

“Take a break.”

Frank abruptly paused, turning his head to look up at you with those warm brown eyes that could melt you into a puddle on the spot. He knew you like the back of his hand, and he recognized the barely concealed desire in your heated gaze, and heard the breathy need in your voice. He didn’t need to be told twice. 

His gaze flickered down to your bare thighs that were right at his eye level before he looked up at you again, and he slowly set down the screwdriver on the floor. He reached for your ankle, lightly trailing his fingertips up your calf, along the back of your knee, before gliding his warm callused hand up your thigh and giving it a squeeze, his fingers teasingly dipping beneath the hem of your skirt.

“Yes ma’am.”

A soft shuddering breath left your lips as Frank held eye contact with you while leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your thigh. Letting out a breathy laugh, you carded your fingers through his hair again, giving it a gentle tug while looking down at him with a grin.

“I should be thanking you for doing all this. You gonna let me?”

Frank let out a quiet grunt when you tugged at his hair gently, and he gripped your hips to pull you directly in front of him just to press your back against the counter, his greedy hands already hiking your skirt up to your hips.

“Why don’t you let me take my gratitude how I want it, yeah?”

He didn’t give you a chance to protest before your panties were pooled around one of your ankles and one of your legs was pulled over his shoulder to open you up for him.

Your grip on his hair instantly tightened, the strands warm and damp against your fingers, unable to stop yourself from tugging him impossibly closer with a satisfied moan feeling that first swipe of his tongue. One of his large hands gripped your thigh that was on his shoulder, digging his blunt nails into your soft flesh, and his other had a tight grip on your hip to keep you steady as you leaned back against the counter and started to roll your hips against his face.

He didn’t stop you. He gave your hip a squeeze of encouragement and moved even closer on his knees, burying his face in your soaked cunt like he couldn’t get enough, and he usually couldn’t.

“Oh f-fuck…Frank…God right there-”

Your eyes nearly crossed when he sealed his lips around your clit and started suckling, and the edge of the counter dug into your back as you arched against it, tugging at his hair with both hands now as sensual moans and breathy pleas flew past your parted lips.

As much as you wanted to come on his pretty face, the desire you felt for him was so much stronger. Giving his hair a sharper tug, you practically had to beg him to relent, which was not a simple task.

“Frankie…please…I want you.”

He gave you only a moment of mercy to gruffly speak against your drenched pussy.

“You got me, baby.”

“I want more.”

Frank chuckled as he turned his head to kiss and nip at your inner thigh.

“Greedy little thing, ain’t ya?”

“Frank.”

Another deep chuckle rumbled in his chest at your desperate whine of his name, and he rubbed his rough hand over your soft skin soothingly.

“What is it, sweetheart? Tell me what ya want.”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Those seemed to be the magic words, and as soon as Frank rose to his full height, you grabbed the front of his tank top that was soaked with sweat and pulled him down for a messy kiss raw with hunger and need. Frank’s tongue parted the seam of your lips to tangle with your own while his large hands roamed down your body to grab your ass and squeeze firmly. His hardened cock was straining against the zipper of his jeans, pressing against your lower belly, begging to be freed. But the second you reached for his belt buckle, he grabbed your hips and swiftly spun you around to bend you over the counter.

The jingle of his belt being unbuckled and his zipper being tugged down were dull in comparison to your own blood pumping in your ears, your heartbeat as loud as raucous thunder. You’d been holding your breath in anticipation, but all the air in your lungs was quickly knocked out when he pushed his hips forward and his thick girth stretched out your snug walls in one swift thrust, nestling so deep you swore you could feel him in your lower stomach.

In an instant you slumped against the counter, and your eyes rolled while your jaw went slack, a choked moan echoing throughout the kitchen. Frank leaned over you, pressing his chest flush against your back, one of his hands gripping your hip while his other snaked around and reached up to wrap his hand around your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze.

He nuzzled his large nose against your neck, kissing and nipping at your heated skin, dragging his tongue along the shell of your ear, rocking his hips against your ass as he fucked you with slow deep strokes, even though everything in him wanted to fuck you with reckless abandon. Frank never rushed anything, but especially not pleasing you.

“Feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. This what you wanted, yeah?”

Blindly reaching behind you, your fingers grasped at whatever you could find to anchor yourself to, the fabric of his tank top clutched tightly in your fingers. 

“Frank-”

“I know baby, I know.”

It was almost eerie how well he knew your body, oftentimes better than you did. He knew exactly what you liked, and exactly what you needed, when you needed it. He kept his hold on your throat, but he let go of your hip so he could slip his hand down between your thighs, strumming his fingers over your clit in rapid succession, making you writhe in the limited space you were trapped in between the counter and his large body.

He let out a grunt when he felt you clench around his cock, but he held out on his own pleasure, always making sure you were well satisfied before he even thought about letting go. He let out a quiet moan in your ear when he felt you come for him, felt the warm wetness of your pussy drowning his cock and soaking your inner thighs and the denim of his jeans.

His hips stuttered, and he let out a guttural groan in your ear as he pushed himself flush against you, gripping onto you tightly as he followed your climax. Your pulsing cunt milked his cock in a way that made his forehead drop against your shoulder, and the soft whimper it tore from him made your knees weak and made that desire burn even hotter.

Both of you were panting heavily, and Frank was peppering soft kisses along your neck and shoulder, giving your hip a gentle squeeze before he slowly started to pull out. But little did he know, you were far from finished.

Not even giving him a second to think, you straightened up on your wobbly legs and turned to face him, fisting the front of his tank top as you pushed him backwards and up against the island behind you. Frank looked down at you in bewilderment, his hands instinctively shooting out to grab your hips.

“What-”

“You got to take your gratitude how you want, now I get to say thank you how I want.”

Flashing him a devilish smirk, you kept your eyes locked on his as you sank down to your knees in front of him, and Frank’s confusion quickly transitioned into hunger, his softened cock already stirring once again with need.

“Well this is definitely fuckin’ worth all the goddamn splinters.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello Raven :)

This is more of an out of the blue, fun, headcannony sort of ask but it’s been plaguing my mind recently (summer anticipation lmao). I was wondering which boys in the main NRC cast do you think would be most likely to participate in “night life” or “party” culture after they graduate (or in college you never know). Like who would be down with going hardcore clubbing on the weekends or attending big rave events. 

I know this is a strange thought, but I find it kinda fun to imagine how these characters would act in situations that they usually wouldn’t be presented in inside the game… like going to wild ragers lol

Ooh, interesting ask �� I've been to like a single party and that was enough for a lifetime. I decided that scene is just... not for me, and haven't been back to a party since (even though I do get invited here and there). Shoutout to the host who was nice enough to make me a normal glass of milk tea instead of something boozy when he realized I was not looking to get wasted 🍹

adklhgeoqeruiqeu ANYWAY, here's what I think:

"Hey, you wanna hit up a party this weekend?"

Riddle - Absolutely not. Weekends are for studying and brain enrichment activities, not mindless partying!! He is the buzzkill that catches you on your way out the door to nag you about curfew and "behaving like a proper student", "think of how this could reflect on your record", "I hope you understand the irreversible damage you are inflicting onto your liver", etc.

Trey - Yes but no. Trey strikes me as someone who initially says no or laughs awkwardly and insists he "wouldn't fit in", but he can most definitely be convinced if someone he knows is going to be there or is peer pressured into going by a friend. Ends up just casually lounging in a corner with a drink in hand (probably a mocktail or water), chatting with people he knows, and basically being the designated driver or adult in the room that hauls you home if you black out or vomit on his shoes.

Cater - Totally. Cater has just the right bubbly and outgoing vibes for thriving in the night life. He's the guy that tries to get everyone in his friend group to join him for outings. Posts about the parties he attends on Magicam. Probably crashes out the morning after and/or has the worst depressive episodes after all that drinking.

Ace - He'd for sure want to go to parties, but he's slightly pathetic and doesn't really get invited to them despite bragging about how much he supposedly knows about the night life. Has to whine and beg and charm others to get a coveted invite. I can see Ace being a popular guy to chat up at a bar or club; he's cheery and easy to talk to--plus, he can probably entertain people with his card tricks and mean quips. Remains super loyal to you though; he'll guard your drink and make sure you get home safe! (Will deny that he cares if you question him about it.)

Deuce - N-No, honors students don't go out on the weekends and party!! ... Or so Deuce says, but he'll admit that he's curious. Like Trey, he feels like the type of person that would be dragged along or tempted to go (most likely by Ace). Nervously glances around and makes excuses, trying to act like a model citizen. Ends up getting carried away and downing some drinks, maybe getting a bit rowdy too. Oversleeps the next day and panics.

Leona - No. Clubs are full of nosy people wanting to socialize. While it’s true that this setting is more casual than the stuffy affairs he’s expected to attend at home, he’d rather take a nap, drink on his own (besides, he bets the club can’t handle catering to his expensive princely palate), or (as he so sarcastically claims) "actually do something intellectually stimulating" than chat up randos. May be begrudgingly convinced into going to monitor “the kids” (his underclassmen) because he’s a good senpai deep down.

Ruggie - Nahhh, this hyena’s got better things to do! Partying won’t pay his bills, so he’s not going to prioritize visiting clubs or bars unless he’s the one working the night shift (there’s lots of tips to be collected!) or there’s an event with free food or drink (in which case, he’s showing up with several plastic to-go containers).

Jack - A stubborn no; his body and a temple and he has to take care of it. That means going to sleep at 10 pm every day and not a single drop of alcohol passing by his lips. The answer is the same every time. Boy’s firm about his stance!

Azul - No thank you! Azul prefers to attend “classier” events to network and takes drinks in moderation (who knows what would happen it his inhibitions dropped thanks to the alcohol). It might damage his carefully curated reputation if he was spotted at a rager. If anything, he might run the bar or club (or have business ties with it) where the partying is happening and uses it as a hub to collect his peers’ drunkenly spilled secrets and weaknesses.

Jade - Sure?? I could see Jade not actually being much of a party person but agreeing to attend just because he thinks it might be interesting. He takes one drink, a plate piled high with bar food, plants himself in a dark corner where he’ll go unnoticed, and spends the evening watching all the stupid shit go down around him. It’s an excellent way to collect dirt.

Floyd - Heck yeah, sign him up!! If Floyd’s in the right mood for it, he can be a party animal—grooving to the music (he usurps the DJ at one point), smashing drink after drink, parkouring indoors (not advised), even picking fights when people gets on his bad side or try to stop him. Probably skips a shift at the Mostro Lounge to party and gets scolded by Azul for it. May not be as eager the next week; his mood dictates how willing be is to go out and how chaotic he will be during it.

Kalim - He's the one throwing the ragers in the first place 😭 Kalim is THE party boy, flippantly burning money to try and top the party he literally held last weekend. There's a live band and DJ, rare delicacies, ice sculptures, truffle and caviar at every table, diamond encrusted gifts for every guest, and more. Blindly accepts any invites he gets and shows up in a fancy chauffeured car with a menagerie. Has a blast every single time.

Jamil - Yes, but only on the technicality that he's obligated to look after Kalim and therefore ends up being the one doing all the party planning and monitoring Kalim to make sure he does not do or say something extremely irresponsible. Continues to chide Kalim for the inconveniences he causes him. Has to taste test everything for Kalim's safety and bodyguard him. Hates every moment of it. Maybe he would enjoy it if he actually had the freedom to bust a move on the dance floor and get to show off in front of everyone. Has a migraine the morning after because of all the chatter and bumping music from the night before. If it were Jamil's choice, he would NOT go.

Vil - No, he has to maintain his extensive skincare regiment and make sure that he gets his required beauty sleep. Besides, he does not want to risk the paparazzi catching him and making a fuss about what he does in his free time. He'll tell you he has far better things to do. If you want to ruin your skin with late nights up and alcohol, then be his guest--but leave Vil out of it.

Rook - D’accord, of course Rook is more than happy to party. You lose count of how many drinks he has had (yet he doesn’t seem even buzzed). The most friendly and talkative guy in the room. Among all the drunks, Rook’s weird behavior seems almost normal. Is protective of the company he keeps. He reappears the next day with tons of oddly specific stories and photographs (when did he take those??). For him, it’s about the people watching experience, observing others in the club or bar setting.

Epel - Bring it ON!! Epel thinks a party is the right place to show off just how cool he is. Unfortunately, he has a hard time getting others to take him seriously and ends up in (hard apple cider) drinking contests or making stupid bets in attempts at showing off his machismo. Tries to order “the strong stuff” but gets denied, mistaken for a sassy lost child, and carded. He snuck out to go to the party and is nagged about it when he is inevitably caught while sneaking back in.

Idia - … What makes you think that this geek would willingly touch grass 💀 Idia tells you that only normies party hard; otaku lock themselves up in their rooms and play video games or do anime marathons on VC with their internet buddies!! Proceeds to do just that while also telling his online friends about how he almost got roped into an unwanted social situation. They all sympathize with him. Low probability that he may show up for all of 5 seconds if Ortho begs him.

Ortho - Why not? Ortho thinks it’s an important part of the lived human experience, so he wants to try out the night life!! He can collect a lot of valuable data ro analyze too. (Drags Idia along if he can.) Everyone else there babies him and treats him well. He acts as an impromptu security person because whenever a fight breaks out he sobers the drunkards up by threatening to laser them.

Malleus - Normally would not go out, but would eagerly attend if extended an invitation. Acts like a sleep paralysis demon the entire time, standing there awkwardly and waiting to be approached by others (but no one does; they’re kind of put off by his presence). Misreads the situation a few times and almost lets loose a devastating display of his magic indoors to prove a point. Oddly resistant to the alcohol; he tells you that faerie wine is much stronger. Leaves the party calling it a “very unique” experience.

Lilia - Yuuuup—grandpappy parties, and he parties HARD. Catch him with a glass of alcoholic berry juice in hand, one arm slung around a friend, as he regales them with tales of his travels and youth. He flits around the venue like a skilled bat, catching up with friends, drinking, and dancing. Keeps doing this until the ungodly hours of the morning. Not really setting a good example for the rest of Diasomnia.

Silver - Not a party person, but he’ll go if you ask for the company. Worries that he will fall asleep mid-conversation and that this would be rude to do in public. Great protective companion to have by your side; his serious stare and/or airheadedness make for a strong combo that gets him and you out of any potential trouble.

Sebek - No, unless there are very specific social circumstances in place (such as Malleus being in attendance—Sebek will volunteer to guard him—or perhaps a group of knights are going out drinking to celebrate something). He otherwise believes partying is a waste of time—he could be training or reading instead. Takes his job very seriously and barks at partygoers. Gets very merry if he’s among fellow knights.

Grim - Yes!! If there’s food and drink, you can count Grim there! Uses these opportunities to try and show off/brag to those in attendance about his greatness, with varied results. Dances by spinning in silly little circles on his hind legs.

~BONUS~

Neige - No; he has to preserve his time for his career and looking after himself + the dwarves, since they live without parents or guardians. Plus, I cannot imagine that the super pure, cute, and innocent Neige LeBlanche going to a rager would be good for his public image.

Chenya - Yeah, I can see it. Chenya’s less of a loud or extroverted partygoer and more of the relaxed stoner that drifts from one friend group to another. Some might mistake him as being already drunk because of his cryptic manner of speaking, but that’s just Chenya being Chenya. I don’t think he actually does anything too wild at these events; he’s just over here vibing.

Dwarves - No, they probably prefer sticking around at home to support Neige and to tidy their shared space up. I’d also imagine that some dwarves like Timmy aren’t into the loud, outgoing night life either. It’s sort of funny picturing the dwarves getting shitfaced or drunkenly trying to form a tower and fit inside a trench coat though.

Rollo - May God have mercy on your soul, because Rollo sure won’t. He thinks partying is a sinful indulgence and that the only acceptable alcohol is wine at sacrament. Covers his nose with his handkerchief and scoffs at partygoers. Probably wishing some ill fate to befall them in his head but never verbalizes it to their faces. Complains about it in his diary entries instead.

Fellow - Ooh, what a golden opportunity!! Fellow lives for parties—everyone is distracted and has their guards down, so that makes it all the easier for him to finesse money, secrets, and other valuables from his targets. Swipes food and other useful things too. Usually leaves the bar/club whistling all the way home.

Gidel - No, he’s still a child even by the time the NRC boys are all legal to drink 🧍‍♂️ and might feel uncomfortable or unsafe in this environment. May feel even moreso this way due to what appears to be mutism (so he’d have limited ability to communicate if Fellow is busy trying to steal from a partygoer).

Skully - He’d go to try and spread the good word of Halloween. Problem is, the audience is not always receptive to his message. Retreats to a bathroom stall to agonize. Freshens up, adjusts his suit and glasses, gives himself a pep talk, and leaves to try again. If the bar/club or outing happens to fall on Halloween or otherwise be Halloween themed, he acts like a kid in a candy store.

[oceantornadoo]

got lovesick all over my bed (samira mohan x jack abbot sick fic)

Someone's knocking on her forehead.

No, that can't be right. Samira turns her brain on and tries valiantly to unstick her eyelids as she forcibly blinks them open. Once they are, cloudy but mostly functional, she takes in her living room looking exactly like how she left it. No TV, because she doesn't want to pay for cable and doesn't have time for it anyway. Stacks of medical journals, mostly neat, on the coffee table she got for $30 on Facebook Marketplace, scratched from lugging it up her stairs when her elevator was out of order, again. Marshmallow curled around himself in the corner, a reminder of her resolution to get a life, and a cat, after McKay's comment after the shift from hell 6 months ago.

Someone knocks again, but not on her forehead.

It's her door, an equally foreign object that rarely gets visitors except for the odd package delivery courier who is very, very lost. Samira runs a full body scan and is not surprised to find she fell asleep in her scrubs on her couch instead of taking the six steps into her bedroom and ensuite. What is surprising is the headache making itself known, along with congestion in every nasal passage she owns. Another slow blink reveals sinus pressure behind her eyes and cheeks and would you look at that, Samira Mohan has a sinus infection. A month before her fellowship applications are due.

And there's still someone pounding at her door.

She swings her legs off her couch, groaning as the soreness from working a double shift sinks into her bones. After a hefty grunt, Samira is fully vertical, her scrubs creased but thankfully bodily fluid-less. Maybe Mel came to check up on her? But she can't imagine her friend knocking in anything other than her usual pattern (two short, one long). Perhaps Dana, who was making comments the entire shift about how Samira looked like shit and should "go home before I write you up." Or, Samira shudders as she turns the lock to open, it's her mother, come to collect after three missed calls this week. She resolves herself to this most likely scenario, steeling her spine as she opens her door to-

Jack Abbot.

Dr. Abbot, she corrects herself, who is standing with one fist raised while the other clutches what looks like a takeout order from her favorite sushi place. A closer glimpse reveals a tub of miso soup, and her stomach grumbles in anticipation. It's a feat, but she draws her head up from the warm beacon of food to look at the man in front of her.

"Dana said you were sick." He states. Samira blinks molasses slow, and some part of her wonders if this is the flu and not a sinus infection. She must be hallucinating, because Dr. Abbot is wearing glasses that she has never, ever, seen before. If she had, the dreams she's been trying to ignore for a year would have made them a feature. They're rectangle-framed, the black color of plastic stark against his salt-and-pepper curls. An explicable breath of fondness bubbles up in her throat, and she has to slow it before it escapes.

"You're wearing glasses." Definitely the flu.

Abbot doesn't say anything, walking forward until she gets the message and lets him in. "Shoes," she murmurs, and he complies silently, kicking them off as she mentally kicks herself, because his prosthetic is probably less stable without a shoe. A chill wracks through her body, and all thoughts leave her head.

"Jesus, Samira." She blinks and he's there in front of her, the soup on her counter. He checks her forehead, her lymph nodes, and then brushes a finger against her cheek. It must be some field technique he knows, and she tries to remember to ask him if he has a case study to go along with it.

"Dr. Abbot..." She trails off, unsure of what she's going to say. An unlikely occurrence when she's usually always preparing a defense of her methods to Robby or an order to ask the upper floors, for the thirtieth time, if they have a free bed. "Jack." He orders and she swallows down a nod, which makes her throat ache. "Do you want to change out of your scrubs? A shower?" Pajamas. Shower. These are things she wants, but she nearly stumbles again when another wave of fatigue hits. Her spine curls and Dr. Abbot Jack catches her with a warm hand on her shoulder and another around her waist. It's instantly steadying as she resists the urge to curl into him.

"I need help showering. I don't think I can stand." Blood rushes in her ears as Jack takes a sharp breath. Tears prick her eyes, and she gets a flashback of her bathroom breakdown after Pittfest. The pure incompetency of her own body, one that performs its duties every day without fail, suddenly won't let her stand for more than a minute before giving up. "I could call Dr. King or maybe Dr. Collins..." He trails off, and she nearly laughs at how those are the only two people he could list because she doesn't have anyone else. But Mel is working and Heather is visiting her sister in California. And Samira's mom is a few hundred miles away in New Jersey, and god, Samira doesn't have anyone.

She realizes a second later she said that out loud.

"You have me." Jack murmurs. The hand at her waist starts pushing, moving her towards her bedroom with the strong weight of him at her back. Then it's into the bathroom, where Jack sits her on the closed toilet seat and squats in front of her.

"Your leg." She protests faintly, and it's like he didn't even hear her.

"We have a few options, Mohan. I've got some baby wipes you can use, but the shower steam is going to help more. Your shower is too small for me to put that chair I saw in the kitchen in there. What do you want to do?" The impossibility that Jack is standing in her bathroom has suddenly hit. Jack, who has been sending her medical journals at all hours for a year now. Jack, who became a temporary day shift attending for a week after Robby took leave. Jack, who took her out for breakfast after a particularly rough night shift that she was only covering because it was Langdon's first visit with his kids. Jack, who's started bringing her lavender oat milk lattes after they went to an artisan cafe and all she could talk about was getting an attending salary to pay for a $7 latte.

Jack.

"Dr. Mohan."

She jerks her head up, which had fallen down as fatigue hit again. He's making that concentrated look where his eyes disappear into a dark color she can't name. "Can you help me shower?" He closes his eyes for a second, inhaling deeply, before opening them and nodding.

Jack does not help her shower. Dr. Abbot does. They start the water so it has time to warm up, then methodically strip Samira down. Well, he strips her while she holds onto the wall, try not to let her body collapse. Thankfully, her curls are somehow still in her claw clip, because if she had to wash her hair, she would simply shave it off. His eyes are on hers the entire time, never taking more than a perfunctory glimpse at her skin as more gets revealed. A cloud of steam hits her when she steps into the shower, one hand on Dr. Abbot's strong forearm as she attempts to stand straight. The shower curtain is partially open enough for his hand, but they agreed that she would wash her body.

It's clinical, like she's watching from outside herself as she swipes soap up and down. More recently, she's tried longer showers to do a "body check in", something the meditation app Ellis recommended told her to do. This time, her left hand swipes over the most important parts as her right hand clings to Jack's. It's the kind of grip she imagines he gave back in his army days; fingers curled around each other's forearms and wrists. After the soap washes away the mess of the Pitt and she can breathe a bit easier, she steadies her free hand against the tiled wall.

"Everything okay?" His voice comes out muffled, concern etched into his vowels. "Just need a second." She squeezes his arm and he squeezes back. She wonders if his glasses are fogged. Samira takes another greedy gulp of steam before shutting off the water, the bathroom falling silent.

Her blue towel floats before her as Jack valiantly tries to hand it over without pulling back the shower curtain. She lets herself smile before grabbing it, dropping his grip so she can properly wrap it around herself. Once secure, she tugs back the shower curtain (a light pink flower design she fished out of a clearance bin) and comes face to face with Jack Abbot and his glasses. Fogged.

Samira Mohan is delirious. She has a new variant of the flu that will unfortunately transfer to half of the country with the lack of NIH funding they're facing. This is the only reason for her to reach out and hook her finger under the bridge of Jack's glasses, pushing them up until they're nestled into his curls and his face is free from obstruction.

Jack must've caught the flu too, because he lets her.

He guides her with a hand on her back out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He forces her to sit onto her (blessedly made) bed, ignoring how Marshmallow has made himself at home on one of her pillows. "Pajamas?" She points to a dresser, letting him pick out a ratty Michigan tee that she's had for almost twenty years now, along with a pair of black shorts that he puts on the bed. Jack knows she went to Pitt for undergrad. Jack also knows her father went to Michigan on full scholarship from the Math department, a feat for an international student from India. A fact she revealed during Shen's birthday drinks while they watched the Michigan v Penn State game in a sports bar. Samira stays quiet.

"Do you need help changing?" He asks, no judgement in his voice. The shower has made her limbs temporarily stronger, so she shakes her head. "I'm going to make sure the soup is hot. I'll come back in ten." She sits there, slightly dripping in her towel with her comfort shirt next to her, and watches Jack scoop Marshmallow into his arms, murmuring about getting him dinner. Despite the steam, something chokes Samira's throat as she watches him close her bedroom door, sending her a half-grin over his shoulder.

Samira dresses slowly, one hand on her mattress to steady herself. Clothes on, she finds enough strength to dig out the cold & flu medicine under her bathroom sink, taking the medicine before trudging back to her bed. She sinks into bed, finding the phone that she had left on her bed table before her double. That should've been the first sign.

12 hours ago:

Dr. Jack Abbot ATTENDING: Racial Disparities in Neurological Surgery Outcomes.pdf

Dr. Jack Abbot ATTENDING: Methods might be helpful for your fellowship app.

10 hours ago:

Mel King: How was your double? Looking forward to pizza with Becca on Saturday!

4 hours ago:

Dr. Jack Abbot ATTENDING: Dana said you weren't feeling well after your shift. Can I pick you up anything?

3 hours ago:

Amma: Priti's wedding is in August. Can you take off 2 weeks to go to India?

1 hour ago:

Dr. Jack Abbot ATTENDING: Samira?

30 minutes ago:

Dr. Jack Abbot ATTENDING: I'm coming over.

Samira types out a quick confirmation to Mel, then "I'll have to check" to her mom. And then she stares at her chat with Jack, his final message blinking back at her. He's only seen her apartment once when he drove her home from breakfast a month ago, and he had insisted on street directions rather than GPS. He didn't have her unit number either, and it's not on her mailbox. She thinks of her emergency info in the hospital records and blinks rapidly.

He knocks at her bedroom door, gentler than he did her front. "Decent?" She nods before realizing he can't see, and makes a noise of assent. It's only when he steps through does she realize what he's wearing. Scrubs. Scrubs and it's 8pm and she worked day shift today (left an hour early when Dana forced her to) which means he was supposed to work night. But he's here.

"Were you supposed to work tonight?" She murmurs, throat too sore to raise her voice. Jack shrugs, setting down a bowl of soup on her bedside table before checking her temperature with a forehead thermometer that must've been in his go-bag. "Shen covered for me." He doesn't show her her temperature, just sets down the device and grabs the bowl. "But- Jack. You should be working. I'm fine now, you can go. I'm sure they need you." He doesn't answer, raising a spoonful of soup to her mouth, shoulders only dropping from their tense height when she swallows. "He owed me. I fed that ball of fur you call a cat, so it's your turn." She takes another spoonful, warmth spreading in her belly. Due to the soup, obviously.

"Marshmallow is a very respectable cat." She replies once her mouth finally doesn't feel like cotton. Jack snorts, leaning his knee into the mattress as he insists on standing and feeding her soup. She knows his leg must be killing him, and scoots over until he has enough room to take some weight off his prosthetic. "He's a lazy excuse for a cat. Only opened his eyes when I put his food in his bowl." She smiles as she swallows, which she immediately imagines to look horrific paired with her red rimmed eyes and snotty nose. Jack just winks.

Jack talks about the journal he sent her that she didn't get a chance to read as she eats. It's nicer than silence, makes her feel almost human again as she falls into the comforting blanket of medicine. The spoon clinks against the empty bowl and her eyes flutter open at the noise. "I'll bring you some liquids to keep by you when you sleep." He says absentmindedly, his eyes on her lips as she licks the last of the broth off. They flick down onto the empty bowl, and the bed is suddenly cold as he leaves to do exactly what he said.

When he comes back, Samira is tucked in under the covers, eyes barely open. He places a water bottle and a bottle of Gatorade on the bedstand, then steps back and crosses his arms against his chest like he's analyzing a case. "Thank you, Jack." Samira whispers. He swallows hard and nods, that ever-present stare of his on her. "Are you going back to the hospital?" She asks, suddenly not wanting him to go. To wake up and have this be a dream.

"Shen's covering. I've got the next four days off, something about working too much." She grins from her nest of warmth, knowing it's exactly something she would complain about too. Then, Samira Mohan gathers all the courage she can in her infection-torn body.

"Will you stay?"

Jack nods.

-

Samira sleeps for 13 hours. Jack counts.

He wipes down the couch and makes it his fortress, taking off his prosthetic and grabbing a nearby journal from a few months ago. He can't sleep, his body too used to this being his normal work hours. Instead, he listens to Samira's sleeping breaths and occasional snores, her bedroom door open as he insisted on.

9 hours in, his eyes flutter closed. He takes a cat nap, wary of the actual cat who stares at him from the other end of the very beaten-up couch he couldn't imagine Samira buying for herself. After a few dreamless hours, he makes tea as quiet as possible, double-checking every move and being very thankful Samira Mohan owns an electric kettle. The sun is already streaming through the living room curtains, but she's still sleeping, and he'll stay here as long as he can.

In Samira Mohan's apartment.

In the few dreams he has, he's been here in a thousand iterations. A studio with lilac walls, a four-bedroom apartment with roommates they had to keep quiet from, a house passed down from her grandparents. He's invented so many thoughts of where she lives, and even after driving her home that one time, her vanilla scent permeating his memories for days, he never imagined a cat.

She's never mentioned one. And Jack Abbot likes to consider himself a bit of an expert on Samira Mohan.

Samira's latte from Lotus Creations costs $7.49. Samira's mother calls when she's working, like she doesn't know Samira's schedule. Samira has pizza nights with Dr. King and her sister once or twice a month and always comes into shift change smiling after. Samira reads journals on anything and everything. Samira is applying for a PTMC fellowship, but also a Stanford and UIC and Washington one. Samira has a little crinkle by her eye when faced with a tough case. Samira doesn't have time for dating, which she told Parker during a rare night shift three months and five days ago.

Apparently, Samira Mohan has a white cat named Marshmallow.

That's what he's contemplating, a mug of chamomile tea growing cold in front of him, when Samira Mohan herself appears in front of him. Her curls are frizzy and encircle her head like a halo, and while Jack Abbot doesn't consider himself a poet, she makes it pretty damn easy for him to think like one. Her shirt creases match the ones on her cheek, which he hopes means she slept well. Her fingers, capable ones he's seen do thousands of procedures, fiddle with the hem of her shirt.

"You're still here." She croaks. He pushes the lukewarm tea towards her, chest loosening when she takes a sip and closes her eyes contentedly. "Told you I'd stay." He reminds her, taking the easy way out. Selfishly, he wanted as much time as he could with her like this, unguarded and willing to accept help for once. Which makes him think of the shower, and he cuts off that train of thought.

He lets her use the thermometer, satisfied when her temperature is lower than the 100.1 it was when he got here. She takes the barstool next to his, leaving them both to stare at the stove as she sips on her tea. It's time for her to take another dose of medicine, but the silence feels sacred.

Until Marshmallow jumps into his lap.

Jack jolts, age old reflexes keeping his knee from jerking against the counter. Samira just laughs, reaching over to scratch the cat behind the ears. Her hand is six inches above Jack's lap, something he never thought would happen, nevermind the cat in the way.

"Never told me you had a cat." Is the first thing that comes to his mind. Samira hums, scratching Marshmallow under the chin now. "It felt like a cliche." She answers. Jack's brows furrow as he turns his head towards her, tired of ignoring the magnetic pull of her smile. "Of what, exactly?" Samira drops her hand to go back to her tea, and for once Jack and Marshmallow are on the same side of disappointment. "Single workaholic woman gets a cat so she has someone to come back to at the end of her day. Pretty sure that's in a 2000s movie somewhere." He knew, in some remote way, that Samira was like him. That the job wasn't just the job but a lifeline, some portal to transform old wrongs into new rights. But it's different to watch her be embarrassed by it, to see her cheeks warm and a little cough emit from her throat that he's sure wasn't there five seconds ago.

"It's your day off, Abbot. You should go home. I'm fine now." She spits it out like a script, someone puppeteering her from behind. The switch from Jack to Abbot is another shot to the heart, but he powers through. Despite himself (and the memories of the evil cat his mother had until it died at age 15, the bastard), Jack pets Marshmallow. The thing purrs, and he can't help but think about the ghost of his ex-wife exclaiming in excitement that he's finally showing care for a living thing with four legs. He watches, always watching, as Samira tucks a curl behind her ear and locks eyes with his hand petting her cat.

He can't even think about that sentiment either.

"You're not cured overnight, Samira. IV fluids and observation." Her brows furrow as her finger traces a circle around the lip of her mug. "So what, you're going to stay here for however long it takes for me to get better? Be serious." He is serious, but she doesn't know that. For how intelligent (and capable and beautiful and strong and-) she is, it's clear she doesn't feel the same sense of knowing he does. He can tell when she enters a trauma room by the snap of her gloves or when she's two hours past when she's supposed to clock out by the tilt of the clip in her hair. Jack Abbot knows Samira Mohan. And that's enough. It's fine if she doesn't know him back. He can take that. Deal with it like the laundry list of things his therapist has written down in that green notebook of his. It's fine.

(It hasn't been fine for a year now).

"I need to make sure my best resident lives to see another day." An evasion, but he keeps his eyes on her face so it's not obvious how much he cannot answer her question. Her brows furrow and that crinkle near her eye comes out again.

"Jack." Samira Mohan doesn't plead. She defends to Robby or she calmly explains to a patient or she argues with a resident who would rather call a Pysch consult than ask what chemicals an overworked immigrant mom deals with at her manufacturing job. She doesn't plead, but something in those brown eyes of hers is pleading.

"Samira." Jack turns his body on the barstool and she mirrors him, their knees scraping against each other. "You wouldn't stay four days just because I'm sick. Say it." He can't. He's never lied to her and he won't start now. "I would. I am, if you'll let me." She stutters over whatever response she was going to give, then sneezes rapidly into the crook of her elbow. Jack moves to grab a tissue, but she stops him with a hand on his knee. The knee connected to a full leg, where the weighty warmth of her is overwhelming to the point of full mental disfunction.

"Why?" She asks, small. So unlike herself.

"Because I want to, Samira. There's nowhere else I'd rather be." It's a bit too much. He's going to scare her and then realize these were all veiled attempts to get him to leave, not the curtain on his feelings slowly being pulled back. "You don't have anything better to do? Anyone waiting and wondering why the hell you're here with-" She cuts herself off, but the last word was clear. Me. Here with me. Her hand drops from his knee.

"There's no one else waiting for me, Samira." Her nostrils flare at the word 'else'. She swallows hard, and he's proud to notice it goes down easier now that she's had some fluids and meds and rest under his care.

"Ask me, Samira." She blinks twice, then meets his gaze.

"Why do you send me journals at 2am? Why do you get me a latte, when I know that stupid overpriced place is ten minutes out of your way to work? Why did you have Shen cover?" It's his turn to initiate contact. To toe the line, to run his thumb over the skin stretched tight on her knuckle as she grips her mug hard.

"Sometimes, after a long shift when I'm staring at my ceiling fan, I'll open up my voicemail. Then I click on Samira Mohan from January 12th, 2 minutes and 38 seconds. I knock out within a minute, right after you switch from reframing patient satisfaction methods to asking if we can get breakfast again, because those French toast cinnamon rolls looked really good, but you didn't want to pay $25 for a bad meal after losing ten patients in that black ice MCI. And then you apologize for overstepping, and I go to sleep dreaming of how many French toast cinnamon rolls I would buy you before you'd stop me. I think you'd draw the line at seven, but I'd happily lose that bet."

He's been focused on her hand this whole time, watching it tense under the sweeping motions of his thumb. When he finds her face, inevitably drawn as always, her eyes are watery and she's shaking slightly. "Samira, honey. I can go if I've read this wrong and we never have to bring this up again. I'll be okay." She shakes her sternly like she's correcting a biased intern.

"Jack Abbot, don't you dare go." Her hands go to the waistband of his scrubs and she yanks gently until he stands in the cradle of her thighs, one hand sweeping the skin under eye and the other cradling her jaw. "Is this okay?" He murmurs, grinning to himself when she nods again. "I want to kiss you, but I don't want to get you sick." She admits, eyes wide like she's stunned by her own admission.

Jack makes the decision for her.

She opens immediately for him, warm and pliant as he tilts her head up slightly. Samira sighs a little into his mouth and a shudder carves its way into his heart, marking the memory in stone. She tastes like chamomile and sleep and the mint of the toothpaste he saw in her bathroom. Her hands fist his scrubs to pull him closer, and Jack eagerly ignores the strain in his neck. It's starts hot and impatient, months years of yearning spilling into her mouth like honey, golden and sticky. He wills himself to calm down as she chases to catch up, pulling back slightly to give little pecks. Jack catches her bottom lip and pulls it down before releasing, doing it again when Samira whimpers sweetly.

"I can't dehydrate you." He warns as he leaves her lips, kissing her cheek and running his nose along the length of her jaw. "Run me an IV and it won't be a problem." She debates, letting him laugh into the crook of her neck. Jack kisses the smooth brown skin there, smiling when she hisses in shock.

"Let me take care of you." He grips her jaw with two fingers to make his intention clear. Samira tenses, ready to defend like the knight she is, but then suddenly softens in his grip.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Marshmallow meows his agreement from the ground somewhere, and that's that.

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Constant

Marc Spector x f!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? •

Summary: Marc takes care of you.

A/N: This is for an ask I received a while ago. The asker requested that I don't link to that ask (it has also been deleted) due to some personal information being unintentionally included in the ask. <3 Brief summary: Reader suffers from chronic pain/long term illness and often tries to hide it, but Marc notices.

Warnings: Kissing, pet names, swearing, mentions of chronic pain and drs not listening, set in the uk (Steven's flat), not beta read, please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 783

You glance at the clock on the far wall, the one Steven had found in a charity shop a few months ago. It was broken, and tarnished, but he’d repaired it lovingly until the ornate piece was working as good as new. You’d taken painkillers barely twenty minutes ago.

And they were doing absolutely fucking nothing.

They weren't even the regular over the counter ones either. These were meant to be the heavy duty kind. The ones you could only get with a prescription that came with a size effect warning that was longer than your arm. And they couldn’t even take the edge off. 

You clench your jaw, trying to distract yourself with the sensation of biting your molars together to the point of pain and then beyond. It didn’t help. You’re standing, holding onto the back of the kitchen chair. Digging your nails into the varnished wood and splitting the grain. 

For one long moment, you close your eyes, trying to shut out the external stimuli. Just trying to fight back the stabbing and thumping that just would not leave. Part of you wants to take more tablets right now, just to see if they will actually work. The other part is contemplating getting one of the kitchen knives and stabbing yourself in the arm to distract yourself. It would be a different pain. It would hurt in a different way. Maybe your brain would actually release some chemicals to dull it. Maybe you’d get taken seriously at A and E and get some better drugs. Maybe they’d know you did it to yourself and fucking section you. 

You sigh, swallow, about to-

“Baby?” Marc’s voice is low, soft. But it makes you jump anyway. 

He takes a step closer, putting his large, warm hand on your lower back. The touch is comforting, sincere and it grounds you.

“Hmm?” You manage to open your eyes, push back a wave of pain that is threatening to submerge you at any second. You plaster a smile onto your face, a habit you have never grown out of. 

Lightly, he touches your cheek, his eyes running over your face. His eyebrows are pinched together as he frowns, obviously not believing your fake expression for even a second. 

“You okay?” He asks. He knows you’re not.

“Yeah,” You nod, too fast and it’s sickening. “I’m fine.” Your nails dig deeper into the wood, your fingers clawed. 

He shakes his head ever so slightly, a subconscious movement. “I’m gonna help you to the bed.” He says softly, his voice calm and even. 

“Marc-”

“Lay down for a bit, kay?” He swallows, sliding his hand to your shoulder to help to support you as he eases you away from the chair. “For me? Put my mind at ease?” 

You want to accept his help. Of course you do. But old habits die ever so hard. 

“I’m fine, really.” You got to bat his hand away. “I don’t need to lay down.” You laugh. But the sound is weak and comes out all wrong. Too close to tears. 

He doesn’t fight you on it. 

“Okay.” He nods, but doesn’t let you move his hands from you. “I’m not feeling great though, will you come and lay down with me?” 

He asks you so softly. Knowing you would never deny him. 

You breathe out deeply through your nose. Tears burn the edge of your vision, sting at your eyes. You tilt your head to rest against him and let out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

He kisses your temple. “Nothing to be sorry about,” and rubs your arms soothingly, pulling you gently into a hug. “How bad is it?” 

“Bad.” 

He nods, kisses your forehead. “You’re too wonderful to be in so much pain.” 

“Marc…”

He kisses you a third time and helps you across the flat to the bed. “I’m gonna call the gp, see if I can get a phone appointment or something.” 

“They don’t do fuck all.” You mutter, but press closer to him. His warmth radiates into you, sealing you in a cocoon. It doesn’t chase the pain away, the physical at least. But it eases something in your soul. 

“I’m gonna try my gp… well, Steven’s.” Marc smiles a little. “They’re pretty good. I’ll make them listen.” 

“Marc, I’m not registered with them-”

“I’ll make them listen.” He reassures you, helping you to sit on your side of the bed. “I promise I’ll get you some help.” 

You touch his cheek, mirroring his action from before. “You’re too good to me.” 

He shakes his head, looking up at you like you painted the stars into the sky. “You’re too good to me.” 

Thank you for reading!

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@limpthislovearound-blog <3

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[w3tlettuce]

“Does crack get you drunk???”

“Many people lovingly remember little Viking boy from the first Highschool musical movie. And while he rocketed to stardom in the wake of the first movie, his troubled life and fall from grace has been the subject of many concerned Twitter threads in the 19 years since. “

- Danny Gonzalez

“…No I said that.”

- Michelangelo Hamato

“Mikey is very wise.”

Hi guys yes I know I’m posting a lot yes I’ve been drawing like it’s the last day I’ll keep my hands and YES more Danny redraws. There WILL be a lot more I have so many. And yes that’s also a Lego Batman reference

Little Viking boy has really changed how my brain works and I have not been the same since Danny uploaded his Highschool musical video. I quote 90% of it every 5 minute u have no idea.

If you haven’t pls watch that video here it’s genuinely my top ten favs EVER anyways bye

[builtbybrokenbells]

Sharpshooter | DRW

Be careful what you bet for.

Pairing: Daniel Wagner x f!reader

Word count: 20k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ (minors dni), unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), teasing, name calling, biting, praise, multiple orgasm, simultaneous orgasm, hair pulling, a criminal amount of flirting, drinking, swearing, gambling, parent loss, poverty?, sorry if I miss any!

Well hello. It sure has been a while, hasn’t it? This is a surprise to probably everyone, but here we are. I was going through my old drafts, because I miss you all so very terribly, and I stumbled across this one, which happened to be completely finished and waiting for some attention. I figured what the hell—why leave it hidden when you wonderful people could get some entertainment out of it. Inspired by bandanny (our fav), and some crazy events that occurred what seemed like a lifetime ago, my brain couldn’t help but make a story, ‘cause that’s just what writers do. Anyway. I love and miss you all so much, and I hope you enjoy. As always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes (barely edited) 🫶🏻

and of course, a huge thank you to @jakeyt, just for being you. i have no idea where i would be without you. i love you so very much, american me 🫶🏻

Disclaimer: this is fiction, not real, and not based on ANY actual events. this also is not me coming back, even though I do miss you all so much, but just because I found a fully finished fic I never got around to publishing, thanks to life’s constant craziness. I love you all very much, and I am still kickin’ around for anyone who wants to chat 🫶🏻

“You’re sure you don’t want to tap out?” The voice over your shoulder barely phased you, your eyes focused on the pool cue so delicately aimed at a solid ball and never wavering as your opponent made their shot.

“Tap out?” You laughed, the sound a bit more condescending than you intended. “Baby, I’m just getting started.” You felt a smirk tug at the corner of your lips as the green ball rolled so closely to the corner pocket, but ultimately tapped against the side and fell off course.

“This is a lot of money on the line… like a lot.” Your friend warned, sounding nervous as she gazed over your shoulder at the table. You were in the lead, only two striped balls left before the 8-ball, but the man you were up against wasn’t far behind. If he’d knocked the green ball in, you would be neck and neck. “If you back out now, you can both walk away with the same amount.”

“Maybe the same amount of money, but definitely not the same amount of pride.” You explained, taking a slow step towards the table, lining yourself up with the cue ball. “Besides, this is the longest streak yet, and I’m not about to give it up because I’m scared.” You continued, leaning down just enough to line your cue up with the blue striped ball.

Your eyes flickered across the green, your head cocked to the side ever so slightly as you tried your best to picture the shot in your mind. If you hit it at just the right angle, you could knock it into the striped burgundy ball and get them both in corner pockets. It was risky, but with such a tight race, risk was your only option. You lowered your top half down a little further, your stomach grazing the wooden trim on the table. The cool surface sent a shock to your skin even through the thin material of your dress, but you did not let it deter you.

You swallowed hard, keeping your hands steady and your goal at the front of your mind. You let out a long breath, the warm air rushing past the gloss shining your lips and calming your nerves. You’d done this before, and you could do it again. You continued to repeat that in your head as you scanned over the table one last time, making sure nothing was out of place. When you were confident you were in the right position, your gaze flickered to meet the eyes of your opponent. His blazing blue stare was meant to intimidate you, but it only seemed to motivate you further.

“15 in left corner pocket.” You called your shot, holding his eyes as you let him digest the words. “14 in right corner pocket.”

Quickly looking back down at the cue ball, you drew your arm back halfway, then lurched it forward with a fair amount of force. It rolled forward, striking the striped green ball and causing it to barrel ahead and slam into the striped burgundy ball. The speed that transferred to the third ball caused it to sink straight into the left pocket with no resistance. Feeling a slight pressure in your chest, you focused on the green ball, still rolling but much slower. You held your breath, afraid you misjudged your ability for a fleeting moment in time. It was rolling so slowly you began to lose all hope of it making it to the target.

The growing crowd around you seemed to be on the edge of their seats, watching intently and not daring to move or speak a word. Your stomach twisted and turned, your palms clammy as the green ball slowed even further, just inches away from the pocket you so desperately needed it to reach.

“Come on.” You whispered, your jaw hard set as you stared it down. You didn’t move, still in the position you held when you made the shot. The wooden cue was resting on the table and your hands were clamped tightly around it, your grip nearly strong enough to break it.

Then, a round of gasps sounded from the crowd, followed by a clinking noise of two balls hitting together inside of the pocket. The green striped ball disappeared completely, and the cocky smile returned to your lips. Raising an eyebrow, you looked to your best friend, tapping her heeled foot against the floor in anticipation. She shook her head, a ghost of a laugh on her lips as she bowed her head to you. Both of you knew there was no need to doubt your ability, but her anxiety seemed to get the best of her.

You straightened up, tapping the handle of your cue against the floor as you stepped back from the table. You lined up your next shot, but decided to take the piss out of him before you won. You aimed for the eight ball, knocking it very carefully in front of his purple ball and making it near impossible for him to sink that one without hitting the eight ball to a better position. If you were going to win, you wanted him to guide you to it, just to teach him a lesson about being so foolish with his money. The smile on your face was infuriating to the man across the table, and his doubt of his own talent was clear in his expression. Even if you all knew he would lose, you had to admire his dedication.

“Good shot.” Your best friend gave your arm a squeeze as you walked within reach, a soft smile on her face as her hopefulness was restored.

“Aren’t I always?” You grinned, trying your best not to let anyone see that you had even a sliver of doubt about yourself.

“You’re too cocky for your own good.” She whispered, leaning back against the pool table behind her as she watched your opponent slowly aim his next shot.

“Just cocky enough, Iz.” You corrected, taking the same lax position as your counterpart. “Look where it got us.”

You motioned one hand around the room, your eyes drifting over the amassed patrons of the bar, all gathered round just to watch you win yet another game. Many men had their hands resting on their wallets in their pockets, wondering if they should take their own chances on a game with you or save the trouble. You knew that the longer your opponent put up a fight, the more likely people would be to challenge you, making them think they had a chance to beat you. It was all part of the strategy, letting people get ahead to make others think they had a chance, until you got down to the very last balls and the heat was turned up.

This was a regular Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and sometimes even Sunday night routine for you. Dressed to the nines, you and your best friend would walk to your favorite bar where you would take post at the same pool table and await a new challenge. A long time ago, when you first started this specific routine, it was only ever for fun. Never once did you expect it to snowball into what it was now, but as the months dragged on and turned into years, you realized just how much money you could make off the poor insecure men who frequented the establishment.

You had a talent, and they had a superiority complex, unable to believe that a young woman could beat them at a game they had been playing since they turned eighteen. It wasn’t your fault that you could capitalize off their stupidity, nor would someone else in your shoes turn down the offer. If they were willing to throw away hundreds of dollars for a chance at bragging rights, you would take the opportunity every single time.

“Besides, it’s their fault for being so cocky when they shouldn’t be. Nothing wrong with being proud of your own talent.”

“S’pose you’re right.” She let out a breathy chuckle, still not fully reassured but unwilling to argue with you. Most of your success was accredited to her lack of fight, hesitant about your crazy ideas but fully supportive of the person she loved most.

Izzy, your best friend in the entire world, also served as your biggest supporter. From the very beginning, even when money wasn’t a factor, she sat on a stool and watched you play all night just to pass the time, never interested in picking up a cue and content to keep you company. When there was nothing in life to be excited about, the two of you worked hard for a long time to find something to look forward to, and it just so happened to be in a little dive bar just off of Main Street. More specifically, at a pool table in the very back corner of the building, which seemed to offer the two of you far more opportunities than just something to be excited about thus far, and especially right now.

You watched the man lean down close to the table, really taking in the sight of him as he tried his best to catch up to you. His hair was turning gray at the roots and his eyes looked tired, but determined. He was tall, drinking top shelf liquor, and clad in expensive looking clothes, which only made you feel better about your anticipated victory. He could afford the loss, or he wouldn’t have offered such a large sum of money in the first place. You weren’t foolish for taking him up on it, and you were certain anyone would have done the same if they were as confident in their abilities as you were.

He drew his arm back and took his shot, causing the crowd to let out a collective groan when the cue ball knocked his purple ball into the eight ball by mistake.

A fatal mistake.

If he had half a brain, he would have shot for the green ball. Luckily for you, he wanted to show off similarly to how you did, and because of that, he did exactly as you hoped.

With a little pep in your step, you lazily aimed for the cue ball, barely looking upwards at the man when you spoke aloud. “Eight ball, corner pocket.” You announced, swinging your cue forward and knocking it straight into the solid white ball. It barrelled down the table hitting the black one and transferring the energy with ease. With nothing standing in its way, it plopped straight in the pocket you aimed for and won you the game.

A booming chorus of cheers sounded around the room, the entire group crowded around the table unable to believe you’d snagged yet another victory that night. Your head dropped downwards towards the table, the smile on your face blinding as you digested the rush of emotion that filled you. Any win was worth celebrating, but this one was huge. It far exceeded anything you had ever done, and it was beyond anything you ever thought you would do. You squeezed your eyes shut, holding back a few threatening tears as you laughed quietly to yourself.

Eventually, you straightened up, all of your teeth showing as an ever-growing grin ate away at your cheeks. The cheers were warbled, the buzz of excitement barely heard over your racing thoughts and pounding heart. You felt Izzy’s hands on your shoulders, her excitement bleeding from her as she shook you gently, literally jumping for joy as your opponent pulled out his wallet. If you were less stunned, you likely would have joined her, but in the moment your excitement was so large it was making your head spin and your vision blur.

You only came to when the man stepped in your direction, offering his hand to shake to commend you for your talent. You accepted, flashing him a thankful expression for giving you the opportunity in the first place.

“Great game, darlin’. Guess I got what was comin’ to me.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, all of your previous competitiveness fleeing you entirely. Instead of a rival, you stood before your hero (albeit, a very stupid one). The man shaking your hand had just single-handedly paid over three months of your regular rent, easily reminding you exactly why you started playing for money in the first place.

“You put up a good fight. Don’t sell yourself short.” You replied, watching as he lowered his hand from yours and extended his opposite one. Clutched between his fingers was your rightful winnings—fifty crisp, beautiful hundred dollar bills.

When you reached to grab them, you felt a firm piece of cardstock underneath them, catching your attention much more than the huge sum of money in your hand. You flipped the thick stack over, noticing what looked to be a business card underneath the bills and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. You held it with your free hand, reading the name and number on the other side, embossed with a company logo you had never seen before.

“If you ever want to go further than betting in bars, you have my number.” He said quietly, sending you a subtle wink. Your heart skipped a beat, making your mind flood with questions and concerns about his ambiguous offers.

“As in?” You pressed further, looking up to meet his eyes.

“As in, playing games with much bigger stakes than this.” He smiled, reaching up and giving your arm a gentle squeeze. “If you want to know more, you can always give me a call. Nothing has to be official unless you want it to be.”

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you more confused than ever before, with questions you weren’t even sure he had answers to. You turned to Izzy, shocked and surprised as you processed the interaction that just unfolded. You swallowed hard, giving her the money to put in your wallet, then gave your head a good shake to bring yourself back to reality.

“What was that about?” She asked, doing exactly what you needed without any verbal instruction. She clasped your wallet shut and buried it at the very bottom of her bag before looking back up at you.

“Think I just got invited to an underground gambling club.” You chuckled, a bit wooed at the thought. You ran your hand through your hair, pushing it back from your face as Izzy snatched the card from your hand to see for herself.

“That’s crazy, right? You’re not going to call him, are you?” She asked, her gaze flickering between you and the card. When her questions went unanswered, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. “You’re not actually going to call him, right?” She asked again, this time expecting a verbal answer from you.

Your head turned to the table, noticing that most of the crowd filtered away by now. The night was drawing to a close, last call about an hour out and most of the patrons were ready to retire after spending too much money and having nothing to show for it. There were a few people lingering by the bar, willing to indulge in a few more drinks before heading home, but the pool tables were near deserted aside from you and a few stragglers finishing games on the other side of the room.

“No,” you scoffed a small laugh, a far-away look in your eyes as you forced a smile on your lips. “F’course not. That’s crazy, right?”

“Right…” she nodded, wanting to be the voice of reason but stuck thinking about how good it felt to hold that much cash in her hand. “Would you be winning that every time?”

“Ah,” you chuckled, tapping your manicured nails on the wood grain framing the pool table. Your tried-and-true, the very reason behind your success and the only reason you even stood there with that much money in your pockets. When the room went quiet and all you could hear was your own breathing and heartbeat, it felt like she was whispering to you, imploring you to consider the benefits of his offer, imploring you to trust in her. “Think the winnings are a lot better than the one we’re leaving with tonight.” You cleared your throat, kicking your high heel against the floor to rid yourself of some of the anxiety plaguing you.

“Holy shit, Y/N.” She whispered, almost unable to believe you were telling her the truth.

“Yeah.” You replied, closing your eyes for a moment to bargain with the thought. “You know how much that could help us?”

“Is it worth it, though? It could hurt us, too. Maybe even a lot more than it could help.” She seemed hesitant, but you could see the green flashing before her eyes, motivating her to keep considering the possibility. Money was a wicked motivator, and the two of you had been chasing it your entire lives. Now, faced with the opportunity to never have to worry again, you couldn’t help but consider it.

“When has she ever let me down before?” You gave a ghost of a smirk, the feeling of the pool cue in your hand sending your ego through the roof. “I mean look at what she did for us tonight. All weekend.” Your tongue traced the inside of your bottom lip, the simple thought of thousands making your mouth water and that hunger grow even worse. “Haven’t been on a win streak this long in ages.”

“I know, babe.” She huffed, giving a single nod of agreement. “You know I’ll support you no matter what, but don’t jump right in. At least talk to him first, find out what you’re really signing up for, okay?”

“Always.” You caught her eye, the warmth in her stare reminding you of everything you already had and telling you that everything would be okay no matter what you chose.

Did money matter when you had love like that? Kinship like that?

Izzy was everything; your only constant, and the most comfortable part of your life. From the very beginning, tripping over your own feet in pre-k and learning how to spell your own name, she was right there beside you. No matter if it was falling with you or helping you up, she would do it in a heartbeat, even if it were no gain to her. She stuck by your side for every crazy decision and reckless act, and never once held it over your head or punished you for your stupidity. You would never make a thoughtless choice that would affect her directly, and you would never punish her with ignorance or incompetence. The whole reason you were offered the gig tonight stemmed from your desire to do better for her, to take away the struggle and ease the weight upon her shoulders. If not for her, you would still be wandering aimlessly and struggling often.

Money meant little when you realized you held more of the world in your hands than most people ever got to touch. Suffering and struggle was bearable with her always bearing half the burden, and a friend like her gave you hope that you could face any pain and make it out unscathed.

“I’ll think about it, Iz. I’ll make sure it’s worth it, first.”

“That’s all I want.” She confirmed her stance, knowing that turning down that kind of money was crazier than never chasing it at all. “Do you want to head home? Can talk about it in the morning—I’m fuckin’ wiped.”

“You go get some sleep. Call a cab and get home safe. Think’m gonna stay here and clear my head.” You explained, reaching in the pockets of the pool table and beginning to re-rack the balls.

Not that you didn’t want to hear her voice of reason, but because you needed some time to come to terms with it yourself. You’d learned that although it was your biggest money maker, the pool table in the very back corner was also your biggest confidant and your favorite escape. A quick solo game would make you feel better, and hopefully make your choice a hell of a lot easier.

“You sure? I don’t mind stayin’ with ya.” She gave you a cheeky smile, nudging you with her elbow. You chuckled at her unwillingness to leave you on your lonesome, always wanting to keep you safe even if there was no need for it.

“I’m sure. Go get some sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“If you insist.” She sang, knocking back the last of her drink and lingering for a moment, wanting to see if you would change your mind. When you blew her a kiss as you rounded the corner of the table, she took that as a gesture of finality. She gave you a wave, silent and slow as she stepped backwards, keeping her eyes on you as well as she could until she was completely out of sight.

When you were alone, you finally felt the full force of the night’s whirlwind of events. You grabbed the small cube of blue chalk sitting on the edge of the table, inspecting it carefully as you raised it to the tip of your cue. Closing your eyes as you circled it round the wooden stick, you let out a long breath. Your shoulders slumped slightly, the stress and adrenaline from your last game fleeing you alongside the anxiety you carried to the bar with you that night. The chatter had died down, the lull of rock sounding over the crackling speakers filling your ears and soothing the swarm of incessant thoughts in your brain.

All those years ago, did you ever imagine you would be put in such a position?

What would she think, the freshly eighteen year old who stepped out into the world alone for the first time, wondering how the hell she would make it?

What would your dad think? The man who put the cue in your hand back home, laughing as he snapped a picture of the little girl who was half its size? Would he be proud, remembering where you started, shooting at balls and never truly understanding what the game meant or how you were supposed to play? Or would he be disappointed, saddened to see you struggle so bad you had to bet your way to paying the bills?

Ah, what did it matter?

Tough decisions and trusting the universe had not led you astray yet, and even if it wasn’t the most honest way to earn a living, it sure did what you intended it to do.

“Hey Chuck,” you called from the table, catching the attention of the bartender wiping counters. His eyes cut to you, a glimmer of light in his eye that only ever shined when you were the subject of his attention. “Can I get another bottle?” You asked, tapping your empty beer against your cue as you gave him a smile.

“One or two?” He asked, half-twisting towards the cooler to retrieve your drink.

“Two should do the trick.” You chuckled, barely embarrassed that he knew you so well. He grabbed the necks of two brown bottles in one hand, setting them on the ledge of the half wall separating the drinking area from the game room. You removed the black triangle from the racked balls, lining the cue ball at an angle and taking the shot to break it. As the balls spun out of control, twisting and turning, knocking into each other with ringing clacks, you stepped towards the bar. He used his bottle opener to free the caps, tossing them in the trash can by his feet as you picked up the first drink.

“You played well tonight.” He noted, slinging an old towel over his shoulder. “Busiest I’ve seen here all month.”

“Yeah, probably why I did so well.” You laughed, your eyes studying his face. His ginger hair curled at the ends, laying over the nape of his neck. His fair skin was slightly blushed and heavily freckled, and he was still as full of life as he was when the doors opened that night. “Had lots of time to practice over the last few weeks.”

“Paid off, it seems.” He commended you, giving you a verbal pat on the back for all he witnessed.

Chuck wasn’t much older than you were, and over your many years of frequenting the bar, you had gotten to know him fairly well. Starting in the military at eighteen, he decided school wasn’t for him and he should put his strength still remaining from high school football to some good use. For a long time, he worked high end security gigs between deployments, which kept him busy in the meantime and still gave him some sort of purpose when he couldn’t do the job he originally signed up for. At twenty four, he got a pretty nasty injury that left him with a medical discharge and a lot more mental turmoil than physical.

After a year of recovery, his slow start back into the regular world landed him as a bouncer at the very bar you were in now, and then eventually a bartender when needed. Despite all the shit life threw at him, he was still the most friendly man you’d ever met, and he was just happy to be wherever he went. After so many nights of getting to know each other, you considered him a friend, and a good one at that. To Izzy, sometimes he seemed to be a little bit more than her favorite bartender. You didn’t ask, and she never told, but the nights she didn’t come home, you could only assume that she found company in the redhead who often made her singles into doubles without any charge.

“If you’re still here when I lock up, I want my turn.” He grinned, both of you knowing that was your price for staying past last call.

“You know where I’ll be.” You grinned, tapping your bottle against the ledge before taking a swig. With that, he returned to cleaning the counters and you walked back to your game. “Why don’t you play some good music while you’re at it?” You teased, shooting the quip over your shoulder that you knew he would agree with. Without any hesitation, he queued up a different playlist and turned it up.

Setting both drinks on a nearby table, you didn’t waste much time lining up your first shot. When you watched the striped balls scatter across the green top, all of your troubles ceased to exist. Hearing the resin balls knock against the pockets and roll inside was the greatest sound in the world. When you played, everything else seemed to disappear, leaving you alone with only one goal in mind.

Well, most of the time, at least.

Other times, you could still feel your father leaning over your shoulder, whispering bits of advice you would hold close to your heart for the rest of your life. You could feel the weight of his presence, the energy of his applause when you made a perfect play, and the joy of being with him all wrapped into one.

It was haunting just the same as it was comforting.

“Excuse me,” a gentle voice sounded from behind you, catching your attention just before you leaned down to take another shot. You would have been startled if not for the sweetness behind the words. You turned, still stuck in thought about the man who taught you everything you knew, wondering who would be approaching you so late in the night.

When you were turned completely, you thought the man standing before you was some twisted trick from the universe, baiting you with perfection to lure you to danger. His long curls dusted his shoulders, complimented by a patterned bandana folded neatly and settled atop his head. A short sleeved, ribbed knit shirt that hugged his torso like it was made just for him, tucked into jeans that hugged his legs. Gold chains paired perfectly with a pendant necklace hung around his neck, glimmering under the minimal light. You didn’t recognize the symbol on the chain, but you felt compelled to ask, to know before you lost your chance. His skin tanned, his brown eyes warm, and his smile soft and sweet. He held a pool cue in his large hand, and his expression was curious.

You hated to admit that he had you completely flustered by simply existing.

“Hey,” you eventually breathed out, the bridge of your nose burning as the skin turned red with a blush. You wondered if he noticed under the low light, or if he even cared. Looking like he did, you were certain you weren’t the only person who had a hard time finding words when speaking to him. “What’s up?”

“Sorry if this is weird, or whatever…” he raised a hand to the back of his neck, sheepish as his eyes raked over you with the same intensity you held in your own. “I was watching you play earlier. Would have introduced myself sooner, but you seemed a bit busy.”

“S’all good. Not weird at all.” You smiled, almost flattered by the fact that he seemed nervous to talk to you.

“You play a mean game. I’m Danny.” He seemed to shake off his nerves at your reassurance, his eyes flickering to the balls scattered on the tabletop to break the burning stare shared between you.

“Y/N.” You replied, extending your hand to shake. He responded enthusiastically, the warmth of his skin sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps raising across your arms.

‘Damn, Y/N. Get it together.’ You thought to yourself, but still found your chest tight and your mouth dry from the sheer beauty of the man standing before you. Did he want to play, or did he want to talk to you? You were too afraid to ask, but whatever it was, you knew you would be compliant with it. If it meant getting an extra moment to admire him, you would be more than happy to do so.

“You play a lot?” He asked, his attention back on your face as he asked.

“Think that’s putting it lightly.” You grinned, knowing that his assumption barely even scratched the surface. “I guess it’s my thing, as some would say.” You quoted the word with one hand, your eyes glazing over with pride at the fact.

“There’s worse things to have.” He joked back, easing up as he understood you weren’t as intimidating as he thought moments before.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Daniel?” At the sound of his name on your lips, his breath caught in his chest and his words in his throat. “Come on, now. Don’t be shy.” You pried a little further, noticing the red dusting his cheeks, too.

“You caught my eye, that's all.” He conceded, shifting his weight onto his heels as a gentle grin decorated his lips. “Curious about the pretty girl who was wiping the floor with every pool player in here. Wanted to talk to you before someone else stepped in and ruined my chances.” At that, you couldn’t help but laugh, honored that your talent struck him so well, and even more curious about him.

“So is this about me being good at pool, or you thinking I’m pretty?” You found yourself going along with the bit, entertaining whatever he was thinking and enjoying making him sweat. Normally, you didn’t entertain wandering eyes and flirtation, but from him, it felt different. It felt like something you wanted to get used to, and you barely knew a thing about him.

“Can’t it be both?” He raised an eyebrow, realizing that he wasn’t coming off too strong for you.

“S’pose it can, yeah.” You nodded, a cheeky grin on your lips.

“Have time to entertain a poor guy like me, or are you too busy training for the championship?”

“I think I could fit you in,” you smiled, nodding your head. “Might be nice to have some company, anyway, s’long as you don’t get in the way of the championship.” You pointed your index finger, a faux warning with playfulness in your eyes.

“You only play for money, or is fun allowed too?” He stepped towards the table, watching as you shot the white ball at a group of striped ones.

“Mostly for money, but I know how to have fun.” You explained, straightening up as you scanned for the next best move. “Usually just with friends, though. Can I consider you my friend, Daniel?” Your eyes cut to his face, your head cocking to the side ever so slightly.

“That’s up to you, Y/N.” He said your name with the same kind of conviction in his tone, like the simple idea of speaking your name would send him to his knees. You had no idea how you failed to notice him sooner, how he flew right under the radar and managed to stay there until he wanted to be seen. A small part of you was grateful for the fact, because had your eyes landed on him while you were playing, he would have thrown off your entire game. You didn’t like distractions, and from all you had seen so far, that appeared to be exactly what he was, even if he was a good one.

“All or nothing, or is there something else on the table you’re too afraid to say out loud?” You smirked, leaning down and shooting at another striped ball. It landed in the corner pocket, even when your eyes were barely focused on the table. Your forwardness seemed to take him by surprise, but it did not deter him.

“Like what, sharpshooter?” The nickname piqued your interest, causing another blush to appear on your cheeks.

“I don’t know, Daniel. That’s why I asked you.” At that, it was his turn to laugh, a beautiful and breathtaking laugh that nearly sent you straight to the grave.

You met plenty of men at bars, some just as beautiful and many more who took their chances with you, but none of them had any effect on you, and if they did, it was never like this. You had no idea what spell he casted on you, but it was more powerful than any force you had ever encountered before. The small game of cat and mouse had already begun, but you were both chasing each other equally as much. It was fun, lighthearted, and you believed that if you were to back out, he would leave it at that. His beauty matched his charm, and he was as sweet as he was hot. If more than friends was on the table, you certainly would not be opposed to the idea.

Even so, you would not be the first to say it.

No matter how attractive he was, you would cling to the last sliver of pride you could.

“Where are you from, honey?” He asked, switching the topic with ease and getting himself out of the spotlight.

“Ohio.” You responded, deciding not to pay any mind to his sudden shift in direction. “You?”

“Michigan.” He replied, his eyes following your game, only glancing at you when he thought you weren’t looking.

“Ah,” You chuckled, a twinkle in your eye at the thought. “Natural enemies. Should we even try to be friends, darlin’?”

“Maybe a little competition will do us some good.” He theorized, still holding his pool cue tightly. “Seems like you’re a fan of it, anyway.” A sneaking glance your way left you to believe his intent was much stronger than friendly, and you couldn’t ignore the twisting of your stomach at the thought. “What are you doing so far from home?” He posed another question, not letting you focus on his previous comments for too long.

“I’m a firm believer that home is the people, not the place.” You finished off the striped balls, taking a long sip of beer before moving on to the solids. “The only person I had left wanted to leave, and I sure as hell wasn’t letting her leave me behind.” You didn’t know why you wanted to answer him with so much honesty. You could have sugar coated it, or come up with a simple lie to evade the question, but you didn’t want to. For some strange reason, you felt a type of solace in Daniel’s company you had never found in another, and him knowing you certainly wasn’t the worst thing in the world. “What about you?”

“I’m a musician.” Although his response was short, it was not dry. He seemed to be vying for a reaction before he delved too deep.

“A musician in Nashville… never heard of that one before.” You grinned, already getting down to the last few balls on the table. “Any good?”

“I mean, we’re alright.” He shrugged, chuckling quietly.

“I’ll have to take your word for it. Your very convincing word.” You found another laugh stuck in your teeth, wondering how it was so easy for him to cause them. “Just you?”

“Nah, me and my best friends. More like brothers, really.” He said, one hand stuffed in his pocket as he watched you take another shot.

“That’s cool.” You conceded, sending him a smile as you straightened back up.

“So, how did you get this gig?” He asked, more apt to get to know you than anything else.

“Wouldn’t really say it’s a gig.” You chalked the end of your cue again, thinking back to the very beginning. “When I first moved here, life was… not what we thought it would be. My best friend enrolled in university, and I looked into a few classes for community college, but never ended up pursuing it. I couldn’t take a full time program and work to support the both of us, and since she moved here for school and I tagged along, I prioritized money.”

“A valiant woman… I can appreciate that.”

“Well it was that, or drown. Someone had to pay the bills, and I couldn’t force her to do both. She’ll take care of me when the time comes. Just the way we work.” You didn’t expect him to understand, but you wanted him to, even if you did not know why.

Until that moment, you were fine having Izzy as your person, the only one who would ever truly get you, and you never needed more. Until he showed up, you were happy with it, but he carried some external energy that drew you to him, making you hang off every word and hope he would be willing to give more. You wanted to talk to him, to tell him the things you most often kept quiet about. He was interested, radiated kindness and exuded a type of peace you hadn’t felt in a really long time. Being in his company was refreshing, something very different than what you had grown used to since moving to Nashville, and he barely even had to try. You didn’t want him to leave, and you never wanted him to stop talking. Men never interested you much unless you could get a couple dollars off a game, but he didn’t seem like any regular guy.

“It’s nice having someone that you can lean on no matter what.” He explained, a twinkle in his soft brown eyes caught your attention almost instantly. “No matter how far away from home, you always get to bring a piece with you. Even if you’re lost, you always know you’ll find your way with them by your side.” He tapped his foot against the ground while he spoke, like he was trying his best to put such profound emotions into a legible message. Slowly, you nodded your head, agreeing with everything he said.

Maybe he did get it, and more than you ever would have believed.

“I have Sam.” He continued, a small smile stretching his lips. “Been my friend for as long as I can remember. Wouldn’t know where I’m going or what I was doing without him by my side.”

“Yeah, exactly.” You squeaked a response, your heart racing as you shot at another ball. Something about the topic of conversation made it all feel real, and as much as you were enjoying it, it also scared you. Being perceived as a person with depth did not usually bode well with you; you much preferred to be the heartless snake that could kill a game of pool, especially to strangers. It was nice being understood, but hard to swallow all the same. “When things were really rough, I guess we were desperate to find a distraction. Something to look forward to that wouldn’t hurt us any more.” You cleared your throat, watching the last colored ball fall into a pocket, leaving you with just the eight ball.

“And that was playing pool?”

“Sort of.” You nodded, deciding to take a break before finishing the game against yourself. For a topic so heavy, you thought it best to give him all of your attention. “I always loved the game. Been playing it since I was this big.” You held your hand out a few feet above the floor, giving a vague estimate to accompany your words. “When we found this bar, it wasn’t very popular, which was good. Lots of tables and none were ever filled, so we spent a lot of nights at this one. I played and Iz watched—she was never much of a pool player, but she loved to spend time with me. It worked for us.”

“How did you start playing for money?” His questions were endless, and you didn’t mind. You enjoyed his intrigue, happy that he wanted to know you as much as you wanted to know him.

“After about a year or so of playing for fun, we made pretty good friends with the bartender.” You nodded your head towards Chuck. “Great guy, but too cocky for his own good. He bet twenty bucks, and lost it in less than ten minutes.” At that, Daniel let out a bellowing laugh, causing an unfamiliar flutter in the pit of your stomach. How could one man be so perfect? “A few guys watching caught wind, and I s’pose they all thought they’d try their luck. I went home with a bit of extra pep in my step and a hell of a lot more confidence. Didn’t win very much, but when you don’t have it in the first place, it’s a lot. Was different than winning the slots, or something like that. Made me feel good, like I was good at something.”

“From what I’ve seen, you’re a lot better than good.” You weren’t sure why the compliment struck you with so much force, especially considering so many people often spoke the same sentiment, but you held it close to your heart. With blushing cheeks and a racing heart, you muttered a small thank you.

“After that, I realized I could keep making money off of it. Instead of wasting hours on nothing, we came down here with a purpose. Word went around, and everybody wanted to take their chances. It took a little while to win anything substantial, but it eventually started paying some of the bills and even more than that. Now people come here just to play against me.” You couldn’t help the smirk that formed, proud of yourself for creating something from nothing. As you bargained with the idea, you leaned down and shot the eight ball, effortless and confident as it rolled into the side pocket.

“That’s pretty damn impressive.” He took a step closer to the table, inspecting the clear top after you sunk all of the shoes without a hitch. “You’re pretty damn impressive.” Your cheeks burned again, but you looked to the ground so he did not notice. You wished you could understand why he had such a big effect on you, how he rivaled every other man you had ever met and all he had to do was talk to you, but you understood that not all things need an answer. Sometimes, it’s just nice to appreciate it while it lasts. “I think my biggest question is how did you get so good at it?”

You caught his eye for a moment, his face lucent even in the near darkness of the bar. It knocked the breath from your lungs, his burning stare and unwavering commitment to knowing you. You wondered if it was just because of curiosity, or if he had a hidden agenda that he would only share at the perfect moment. Either way, it did not matter; you would be overjoyed to go along with whatever plans he wanted to make for the night, and you would be even happier if you ended up in his bed. For a single moment, you debated whether you should bring it up yourself or see what tricks he had up his sleeve.

You opted to make him sweat a bit, knowing that every extra minute spent in his company would be worth it.

“Is that your biggest question, Daniel?” You raised an eyebrow, a knowing expression on your face as you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips. Silently answering the question for you, you felt a slight bit of satisfaction at his miniscule action.

“One of them.” He replied, nonchalant as he began to place the balls back on the green.

“Well, get to askin’, then.” You decided to help him out with his task, wondering if his curiosity really did lie in the game and you were reading too far into it. “I don’t have all night.” A lie, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I was asking—you were avoiding.” He caught your eye again, each time his stare landed on you the effect far worse than the last.

“Maybe I don’t like that one.” You weren’t being dishonest; that question, above all, was your least favorite of any one that anybody could ask you. To answer, you would have to talk about your dad, and that was best left as a memory rather than a story. “I want to hear what else you’ve got.”

“Alright,” he conceded, racking the balls in the middle of the table. He did not outright say it, but you could see his desire for a game hidden deep in his features. You wondered how long it would take for him to place his wagers. “Are you going home with anyone tonight?”

You thought about it for a moment, the ghost of a smile on your lips as your silence led him astray. You weren’t going home with anyone, nor did you ever have any intent to. In fact, you had been looking forward to walking home to find Izzy curled up on the couch (because that’s where she always fell asleep when she was drunk), all of the lights on and the television playing loudly in the background. You would sit with her until your mind stopped racing, and eventually you would crawl up to your bedroom and sleep off the night's excitement while planning for tomorrow.

Now, you weren’t sure how much you liked that idea. With him standing so close, the fresh scent of his cologne distracting you and the warmth of his presence more persuasive than anything else, you didn’t want to go home alone. His gentle smile and burning gaze sent the hair on the back of your neck raising and goosebumps littering your skin. For a brief moment, you wondered what it would be like to touch him, to put the conversation to rest and explore more pleasurable, fulfilling alternatives. He made it so easy to ignore everything else and focus your attention solely on him, and since he joined you at the table, you hadn’t been able to think of anything but him.

If you went home alone, would you regret it?

If you went home with him, would you regret it?

For some reason, you believed that you would never regret a night spent with someone as compelling as him, but the fear still remained. You barely knew him, nor his intentions. You were rightfully concerned, but something deep in your heart told you that you could trust him and that he would not do you wrong.

You hoped so, anyway.

“Not unless I meet someone worth my time, no.” You shook your head, giving him a lingering stare as he processed your words. The corner of his lips quirked upwards, not necessarily into a smile, but a response to you nonetheless.

“How do your games work, sharpshooter?” He asked, removing the plastic triangle and hanging it on the hook on the side of the table.

“Depends.” You chalked the end of your cue, gearing up for another game you would inevitably win. “Usually, you pick the price, and I tell you if it’s worth my time.”

“Only money worth your time?” He grabbed the second block of chalk, catching your attention as he reached up to do the same to his cue. You noticed the veins in the back of his hand, leading to the same prominent feature in his forearms. Your stomach fluttered with curiosity, studying him closely as the muscles in his biceps flexed. For a brief moment, you imagined what it would feel like for his hands to be on you, his flexing muscles under your touch as he offered you much more than a challenge.

“What do you have in mind?” You finished off the last of your beer, discarding the bottle on the ledge by the bar and making quick work sipping at your second. He seemed hesitant to answer, but his eyes were glimmering with mischief. You wished it didn’t intrigue you as much as it did, but you felt yourself leaning into him as you awaited your answer, showing your own desperation for him to speak. “Out with it.” You pressed, smiling again as he rocked back onto his heels.

“How about…” he sucked in a breath through his perfectly straight and white teeth, his eyes darting from you to the table. You raised an eyebrow, cocking your head to the side as you waited for him to continue. “If I win, I get to take you home for the night.”

You froze momentarily, your heartbeat and breathing included. Your cheeks, burning red under the dim pot lights overhead, giving away your feelings on the matter almost instantly. Could you agree to such personal terms? Even if you wanted to go home with him, you still weren’t quite sure if it was a good idea. You hardly knew him, and could barely comprehend his boldness even if it did turn you on. If you turned him down, you felt that there was a possibility of regret, and you certainly didn’t want to see him turn and walk away, especially after how much you enjoyed talking to him.

Then again, you barely even believed he could beat you in the first place. At the very core of it, the very beautiful, polished man that stood before you didn’t seem to have a competitive bone in his body, nor did he seem to be as well versed in the game as you were. Even if he had skill, you couldn’t imagine he would be as committed to beating you as you were to beating him. That was most of the reason you won as often as you did. If you agreed, the chances of his desired outcome happening were slim to none. That made you feel worlds better, and your cockiness gave you the extra push to agree with his crazy idea.

Maybe by the time the game was over, you would know for sure if you wanted to go home with him or not. An extra hour spent getting to know him definitely wouldn’t hurt, and then you would be able to join him on your own accord if you so wished. With a dry mouth, you swallowed back your surprise, bargaining with the fluttering of your heart as you understood he definitely found you as attractive as you found him. To bet on something so forward, you really must have caught his eye.

“And what if I win?” You asked, trying your best to keep your cool and remain confident.

“Guess that’s up to you, is it not?” He flashed you a smile, and for a split second you wanted to abandon the game entirely and accompany him home then and there. Whatever he was doing to you, he was doing it incredibly well, and you began to fear he would get what he wanted no matter who won the game.

“S’pose it is.” You pursed your lips slightly, running the tip of your tongue over the back of your teeth as you brainstormed your stipulations. Then, an idea struck you, working for you in more ways than one. “If I win, I want two tickets to your next show, rockstar.” You pointed in his direction, knowing that your offer would send the subliminal message that you did in fact want to see him again, even if you did not end up in his bed.

“I’ll even throw in a backstage pass, just because. Best view in the whole house.” He sent a wink in your direction, forcing you to look away as your breath caught in your throat. You could feel a dull ache begin to bother you between your legs, and you knew if you let yourself focus on it, the game would be his before it even started.

“Mr. Important, or whatever.” You teased, your finger tracing the wood grain on the table as you reached for the coin sitting on the very corner. “Didn’t realize I was in the presence of such a big celebrity.” You took the cool metal coin between your middle and index finger, flashing it in his direction so he could see what you were up to.

“So, we have a deal?” He asked for clarification, wanting to ensure there were no blurred lines.

“I think we do.” You nodded, turning back towards him only to notice he had stepped closer. “Shake on it?” You asked, extending your hand towards him. He reached forward, his palm landing against yours as his fingers closed around it. You hated the fact that something as simple as a handshake from him had you weak in the knees, but you bargained with the lack of strength in your legs as you focused on the warmth he provided.

“Game on, sharpshooter.” He said, his hand lingering on yours for a moment longer than it should have. He was close, much closer than a friendly opponent should be. You could see the rise and fall of his chest, just inches from your own, and when you looked upwards to meet his eyes, his face wasn’t much further away. The two of you stayed locked in the same position for what seemed like an eternity, both of you understanding the pull of your heartstrings as you admired each other up close.

“I flip a coin for start, but if you have something better in mind, please do tell.” You explained, your voice barely above a whisper because it did not need to be. He was close enough you were sure he could hear your racing heart and shallow breaths. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, and you felt more drunk the longer he stood near. If this was how the whole game was going to go, you understood you were in for a wild ride.

“Sounds good to me.” He finally dropped his hand, but much slower than normal, like he was hesitant to let you go. You placed the coin on the back of your thumb, hoping he did not notice the slight trembling of your fingers.

“Heads or tails, Daniel?” You held his gaze, finally getting the chance to appreciate the sea of brown in his irises, the flecks of near blackness and the golden streaks that accentuated the already beautiful chestnut color. Soft and warm and kind, something you felt like you could get lost in forever and never yearn to be found.

“Tails.” He said, seemingly studying the intricacies of you.

You tossed the coin in the air, barely looking down as you guided it to the back of your hand with your palm. For a few seconds, you stood still once more, not ready to part from the closeness the moment granted. His skin was soft like wind in the reeds, the ends of his curly hair tickling his cheek ever so gently. For once, you did not feel uncomfortable under another’s stare—you did not want to hide, nor to turn away or dissolve into nothing to avoid the attention from another. This time, you felt appreciated, seen for everything rather than just something, and you thought it a crime to never be on the receiving end of his attention.

Eventually, you withdrew your hand covering the coin, looking down to see it showing heads.

“Looks like luck is on my side, tonight.” You mumbled, knowing that if you truly wanted to be a dick, you could take the game out in one play. He let out a small huff of air, similar to a laugh but not quite, like he was amused by your response.

“We’ll see.” He replied, taking a small step back from you. Your eyebrows furrowed together, your eyes lingering on his face as he stood stationary beside the table.

What did that mean?

Opting to ignore his attempt at undermining your ability, you shook off your nerves and realized that it would affect your game if you focused on it for too long. Instead, you decided to show him that luck had little to do with it, and going home with him would not be your punishment for loss, but a choice you made on your own accord. You had never bet on something so extreme, and especially never something sex-related. You would be lying if you said it didn’t put any extra pressure on you, but your win streak from that night alone led you to believe that you wouldn’t have to suffer any consequences. Beating him would be as easy as any other game, and that fact played a huge part in agreeing to his terms.

Well, that, and the fact that going home with him would be an option even if pool wasn’t a factor.

You placed the cue ball on the green, leaning down and settling the tip of your cue in the groove between your thumb and forefinger. You placed your four fingertips against the felt below, and lifted your thumb slightly to give yourself better control of the cue. Aiming and faking your shot a few times, you let yourself get a feel for the position without following through. Eventually, you withdrew your arm and spring forward with an ample amount of force, sending the white ball rolling forward and crashing into the racked balls.

Your eyes stayed glued on the table as all of the balls scattered across the top. A few rolled into the rails, then you watched as two striped balls rolled to the side and into a corner pocket, back-to-back. A triumphant smile on your face, you scanned for the next best move, noting that the white ball rolled to a stop near the middle of the table. You straightened up, taking a few steps to the side of the table before leaning down again and repositioning yourself.

You shot at the yellow striped ball, calling the side pocket just before you slid the wooden stick forward into the cue ball. Just as you expected, it rolled straight in without a hiccup. Since starting, you hadn’t looked anywhere but at the game, and as you stood to shoot for the third time, you made the mistake of casting your gaze in the direction of your opponent.

For the first time ever since playing a game of pool, you made a mistake classified as fatal, and you did so without second thought or any inkling that it would be a mistake at all.

You froze in place, noticing his eyes burning into you as you leaned down over the table, but they were no longer warm and kind. Instead, his gaze was fixated on the pull of your dress from your skin, gravity giving him a bit more of a show than you intended, and the sweetness in his stare had dissolved into a hunger you could only imagine was felt by a man starved. You felt a rush of emotion straight to the pit of your stomach, only worsened as his tongue delicately traced his lower lip. Your skin tingled with desire. And for a fleeting moment you considered forfeiting the game and sinking the eight ball just to get to his house faster.

“Nice shot, beautiful.” He whispered, his tone much more gravelly than it was when he was speaking to you before. He knew what he was doing, and he was unashamed to admit it.

Without responding, you brought your shaky hands back to the table, your stomach twisting and your mind flooded with all kinds of thoughts that had little to do with the task at hand. You were committed to winning, and you would make it a point to do so, but he was making it incredibly hard to prioritize that.

Trying to push the thought of him far from your mind, you zoned back in on the game. As you pulled your arm back to shoot, a quick flash of his darkened eyes flooded your vision, pointed at you like a predator in search of prey. As you shot at the cue ball, you did not even notice that it hit a striped ball against the rail and nowhere near the pocket. Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to shake the memory away, but it seemed permanently seared into your brain. You could feel your heartbeat in your toes, your own arousal pulsing under your skin and forcing you to feel it when his perfectly sculpted features flashed before your eyes.

For the first time in your entire career, losing the game was more plausible than winning, and the fact only became more pertinent every time you remembered what it felt like to be under his burning gaze.

You had to get ahold of yourself, to shake off the very thing that would lead you to your demise, but you couldn’t. Whatever he was doing was working, because the man that stood before you now was much different than the one who challenged you to begin with. Being near him was to be one step away from insanity, and focusing on anything other than him was impossible. Knowing that he was watching you with the same intensity, imagining what you would look like out of your dress and underneath him when he won the game, was sending you down a rabbit hole that was far too steep to climb out of.

But you had to win.

It wasn’t an option, nor a question.

Winning was the only thing you knew how to do.

You stood, eyes casted to the floor and a blush across your cheeks as you stepped back from the table, not daring to look in his direction as you bargained with your own embarrassment. Had you ever shot so poorly before? You couldn’t recall a time in which you missed your target so entirely, and your entire body was ablaze with disappointment at your own actions.

“You know, you never actually told me…” Danny started, snapping your thoughts away from your bad play, as if he knew that’s what you were brooding about. You finally looked at him, the entire world in slow motion as your eyes landed on him again. He was tall, slim but muscular. His shoulders were broad, not noticeable from afar but very much so once you were up close and personal with him. His lips were plush, smooth and soft as your mind begged you to get a taste. “How did you get so good at pool?” Your eyes cut to his own, nervous for a moment that he was judging you for your oblivious admiration of him.

“It’s a long story.” You said, your gaze flickering to the table. He didn’t seem keen on taking his turn, though. Instead, he wanted to know you, which was as sweet as it was aggravating.

“I have time.” He assured you, stuffing one hand into the pocket of his tight jeans. You let out a huff of laughter, almost shocked at how interested he was in you. Nobody had ever cared this much—well, aside from Izzy, but never a man. Certainly not one as breathtakingly beautiful as him.

“My dad.” You responded, swallowing down a mouthful of beer so you would not choke up at the thought. You didn’t know why it was so easy to tell the truth. You could have lied, brushed it off and moved on, or ignored him completely. Instead, you wanted him to know, wanted to take solace in his heart and mind. It was a new feeling, but something you wouldn’t mind getting used to. “Had an old bar in Perrysburg, left to him by my grandfather when he died. I was six or so when he packed up and trucked us across the state so he could take over. Dad didn’t know it was as run down as it really was… thought maybe we could make some money out of it, or whatever.” You paused, feeling your throat begin to close as you recalled the memories you kept locked up tight for so long.

“We moved into an’ old fixer upper, something cheap so he could afford to fix the damn dive without us suffering because of it. We spent every day at that bar. I’d do my times tables sittin’ on the old bar top, ‘till he tore it out f’course.” You chuckled, swiping your stray hairs away from your forehead. “We’d eat takeaway on the squeaky barstools, throw the garbage in the big dumpster he rented when he tore out the old floors, and then he’d shoot some pool before we went home. Back then, I was curious, and annoying. I didn’t let up until he let me try, and wouldn’t give up until he forced me out the door.” Danny laughed at that, picturing it in his mind as he listened intently.

“Was some sort of routine we got going, you know? Get home from school, do my homework, eat, and play pool. Once he knew I wasn’t gonna give it up, he actually taught me how to play. Took a while, but by the time the bar opened I could play a game ‘till the end. Even when the reno’s were finished, we kept at it. Was our thing, you know?” You let the butt of your cue fall to the vinyl floor, the weight of the memory like cement poured atop your bones. Missing him was violent, painful and torturous. It didn’t get easier with time, nor did it ease when you recounted the beautiful years you spent with him. Worst part was, it didn’t even help if you stayed silent on the matter. The whole damn thing hurt, and it would for the rest of your life.

“Just you and him?” He asked, noticing your sudden withdrawal. Your eyes fluttered closed as you gave a small nod of your head.

“Yeah, was just us.” You hummed. From the very beginning until the very end, it was the two of you against the world. Some would say it was still the same, now. “And Izzy, sometimes.” You couldn’t leave her out, knowing it was not fair when she spent so much time with the two of you. “Her dad met mine when we were redoing the plumbing. Contracted him for it… didn’t realize he also signed us both up for lifelong friends.” A smile crossed your lips. At the end of the day, no matter how sad the situation was, you were thankful it gave you Izzy. You were always thankful for her.

“Where’s your dad now? Still at home, playing pool?” His question was innocent, but you couldn’t help but feel the stab in your chest. You wished it was that simple, but it rarely ever was.

“Not sure he can play pool where he is, honestly. Heaven’s got a wicked reputation, but I’ve never heard of angels playin’ shitty ol’ bar games.” You tried to make light of the fact, but the words came out with a wheeze as they knocked the air from your lungs. “If I’m lucky, I’ll find out someday.”

“Oh,” he whispered, shocked at the fact but trying his best not to make you feel worse about it. The impact was lessened at his soft tone, like he was breathing life straight back into you as he spoke. “He must’ve been one hell of a guy to raise someone as fantastic as you.” Your cheeks burned red at the sound of his words and all you could manage was a small shake of your head.

“You hardly know me, rockstar.”

“I know enough.” He whispered, his tone still strong despite the volume. At that, you had to look at his face, just to catch a glimpse of the conviction that he held in his features.

“He was a pretty great guy.” You agreed, smiling softly at the thought. “The best, actually.”

“I believe it.” He offered a smile of his own, cheering you up ever so slightly. “So you play for him now… that’s why you’re so damn good at it.”

“S’pose so, yeah.” You nodded, watching him lean down to take his shot. “Always feel like he’s looking over my shoulder, telling me exactly what to do. Not sure if he’d be proud of the name I made for myself, but I know he’d love me regardless.”

“What’s there not to be proud of?” Daniel asked, barely exerting any effort as he shot at a solid ball and called the pocket. When it rolled inside, he moved positions to continue his play. “You learned how to make money off of something you’re really good at. That’s smart, if you ask me.” He shrugged a bit before calling another pocket. You watched as the ball rolled across the table, knocking into the solid blue ball. It bounced off the rail and hit the green one in front of the side pocket, and both rolled in effortlessly. You felt your stomach sink, watching and understanding such a strategic move, and wondered if you had finally met your match.

How was he so good at pool, and why the hell did you take him for innocent?

You were too trusting of the man that stood before you, who once seemed humble and shy. Now, you knew he was far more than that—talented, a tad cocky, and sneaky. Thankfully, in no way did he showcase those traits in a bad way, but you had underestimated him, betting on something so grand and risky.

Had he done that on purpose? Had he approached you with the desire for you to underestimate him?

And if he did, why did that turn you on more than it turned you off of him?

“Looks like you have some hidden talents of your own.” You commented, crossing your arms over your chest as you pursed your lips slightly. He peeked back at you from over his shoulder, a sly little smile decorating his annoyingly perfect face.

“Not really hidden,” he replied, his stick settled in the same space between his thumb and index finger, but he had his finger clasped overtop it for support. You hated how much it kept your attention, the intricacies of the very simple action making your heart thrum in your chest. You had no idea why you found it so attractive, no idea why you couldn’t care about anything else. “You never asked.”

“My mistake.” Your words came out breathy, embarrassing you further as he sank another ball effortlessly. When he aimed for his fifth ball, he was a bit short on the draw, his ball stopping just before it fell into a pocket. “Where’d you learn to play like that?”

“Picked up a few tricks here and there.” He shrugged, a sly smile on his lips as he turned towards you.

“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head, stepping towards him instinctively. You yearned to feel close to him again, desperate to feel his hand in yours and longing to breathe in time with him, wondering if your hearts could beat in sync for long enough to become one. He welcomed your advance, staying still as you gradually creeped towards him. “If I told you my dirty secrets, you have to tell me yours, too.”

“Oh, I have to, huh?” He raised an eyebrow, his Adam’s apple bobbing gently as he spoke. It sent a shiver down your spine, the entire sight of him before you sent your body into overdrive. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s only fair, Daniel.” You looked upwards, feeling the closeness of your face to his as gravity continued to force you towards him. “Unless you’re not a very generous person, in which case would make our little arrangement much less intriguing for me.”

“Now you’re jumping to conclusions, baby.” He grinned, almost amused that you would pin him with such a crime. The pet name sent your already racing mind spiraling even further, making you want to jump straight into his arms and figure out the truth of the matter yourself. You let your tongue run over your bottom lip, your mouth watering from the smell of his cologne and the intoxicating look in his eye. The tension between the two of you was immeasurable, and it was growing worse by the second.

You wanted to drop the act and touch him, uncaring of how he obtained his skills and eager to see his talents in other areas. Still, you stood your ground, cue gripped tightly in your hand as you stared him down. You were annoyed that he deceived you, but more annoyed at yourself for letting him.

You let out a huff of frustration, understanding he would not answer your question right away, and turned on your heel to continue the game. With intent, you barely stepped out of the way as you leaned down to aim at the white ball, making sure to push your hips back far enough that you were just inches away from where he stood. So far, both of you had done incredibly well in ignoring the temptation of each other, but you knew his willpower was cracking when you heard him suck in a sharp breath through his teeth.

Admiring you from a distance was very different than having you bent over in front of him, within arms reach and with intent to bother him.

It certainly didn’t help that he had been picturing what you looked like underneath your clothes all night, and the tight dress you were wearing gave him an even better idea than he had before.

His eyes were fixated on the slight sway of your hips as you took aim, never daring to look away as you took your shot at a striped ball. You managed to land two balls in one shot, speeding up the process and leaving you just a bit further ahead than he was.

Before you shot again, you looked back over your shoulder, keeping your position as you locked eyes with him. You noticed the rise and fall of his chest a little more aggressive than it was moments before. The same animalistic look was shining in his eye, and his knuckles had turned white from the grip on his pool stick. You felt your core aching, desperate for relief as the two of you continued your tyrant without letting up. To rub a little extra salt in the wound, you gave a subtle wink and blew a kiss at him.

“I might need help with my next shot.” Your lower lip jutted outwards into a slight pout, playing on his already worn nerves. “Could you teach me how to shoot like you do?”

Both of you knew you didn’t need any help, but part of your teasing came from a place of desperation, unsure if you could handle another minute without his hands on you. Intoxication had become you, and the many beers you had finished off that night were finally beginning to catch up. He stood stoic for a moment, knowing if he turned down the offer, he would be an idiot. Still, the simple thought of you beating him and him not getting to take you home was wearing on him.

Confident in his own abilities, he decided to take the risk.

Leaning his cue on the wall nearby, he stepped closer to you, slow and gentle as he realized just how intimate the position was. You felt his hips press against your ass, his upper half leaning down to meet yours. Your chest was already low to the table, nearly pressing against it as his chest fit flush against your back. Ever so slightly, he let his chin rest on your shoulder and his arm wrap around yours.

“You don’t need help at all, baby.” He hummed, the warmth of his breath tickling the skin of your neck. His lips hovered just above your ear, making your heart race and your palms break out into a sweat.

“Maybe I just wanted you close to me.” You offered, feeling his heartbeat racing just as fast as your own. “Good luck charm, or whatever.”

More like a distraction, but you couldn’t seem to care. Feeling him fit so snug against you was better than winning a thousand games.

His large hand landed on your hip, his skin searing with heat and felt like it was burning straight through the fabric of your skirt. Immediately, without hesitation, you pushed your hips back into him a little further, hearing that same strained breath catch in his throat.

“Take the shot, then.” His tone was firm, challenging you as he spoke. His mouth was grazing your skin now, the man completely overtaken by desire and unable to think of anything else.

“What if I want to enjoy it for a little bit?” You bit back a smile, but knew you were feeling the effects of it too.

“Can enjoy me all you want when I win the damn game.” He growled, his low tone sending a shiver down your spine.

“Is that so?” You asked, ignoring the throbbing between your legs as you drew your arm back and prepared to take your shot. He did not respond, instead watching your movements carefully and staying as still as possible so he did not interfere with your play. When he did not reply, you followed through and knocked the cue ball forward, watching as it hit one of your last two balls into the side pocket. “Don’t be so sure of yourself, honey.” You turned your head to the side, the tip of your nose brushing his as you did so. You felt his fingers tighten on your hip, gently guiding you closer to him as he resisted the urge to close the gap between your mouths.

“Game’s not over yet, sharpshooter.” He reminded you, his brown eyes heavy lidded as he seemingly stared straight into your soul. As he straightened up, pulling away from you so you could not bewitch him any further, his palm grazed the curve of your ass, only worsening your growing need for him. Still, as badly as you wanted him, you were half tempted to win and leave him behind, just to teach him a lesson about his egotistical ways.

Still feeling your skin tingling from his earlier touch, you were vibrating as you leaned down to shoot at your last colored ball. You noticed Daniel had not moved from his place, nor had he moved his eyes from you. The thought alone had you reeling, and the longer he stared the more nervous you felt. You had to close your eyes to focus your thoughts before making any moves, but it seemingly did nothing to help when you misjudged the strength in which you shot. Your striped ball ricocheted off the rail and rolled all the way back down the table, nowhere near any pocket at all, let alone the one you called.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, stressed as you studied the table and digested the very real possibility of him winning the game.

“To answer your question,” he started, breaking you free from your internal brooding. Your eyes snapped to him, immediately relieved of your stress once you remembered how alluring and enchanting he was. “When you spend so much time on the road, you start to look for things to pass the time.” He continued, ignoring the game waiting to be played and focused only on you, clad in a little black dress that would ultimately be his demise.

“Rockstar lifestyle not enough to please you?” You raised an eyebrow, reading him as he stepped towards you.

“No, it is.” He corrected, his eyes casted down over your face as he closed in on you again. “But when your biggest responsibility is getting on stage and playing music, the rest of the world seems a little boring. We spend a lot of time at bars, which usually leaves us standing in front of a pool table.” He shrugged, his eyes flickering to the green felt. “Those guys are my best friends… my brothers, and you aren’t really siblings without friendly competition, right?”

“Right.” You chuckled, finding yourself completely enamored with him as he spoke. You wanted to know everything, to hear every story and share every memory. You hoped he was willing to give as much as you yearned to take.

“We bet on lots of stuff… twenty bucks doesn’t mean much when the same bill gets passed around to everyone. Pool just happened to be one of ‘em.” He seemed to grip his cue tighter as he stood before you, resisting the urge to reach out and touch you. The temptation seemed to be wearing on him, but he was doing his best to withstand it. “We played so much that we never kept that twenty for more than a game or two, so I decided to put some extra effort in. Never cared much about the money, but it gave me something to do.”

“So you made it your life’s goal to master pool… for a twenty you don’t even give a shit about?” You giggled, feeling the heat of his body start to take a toll on you. You wanted to bring him closer, to close the gap between you for good and forget about the stupid bet that got you here.

“For something worth a lot more than twenty dollars, baby.” He corrected, grinning as he noticed the slight blush on your cheeks. “For bragging rights.”

“A humble man.” Sarcasm dripped from your tone, but you weren’t put off by the thought at all. If anything, you were just desperate to keep the conversation alive.

“No, but seriously.” He chuckled, leaning down and taking a shot at the cue ball. As he sank the last coloured ball and called his pocket, you both realized he had little chance at sinking the eight ball with the position in which the cue ball landed. Taking his loss, he made a quick move to block your next shot, figuring if he could not win he could at least make it harder for you. “At first, I just played ‘cause it was fun. It really does get boring… or monotonous on the road sometimes, and I think we all agreed on that. We all started playing against each other, and at first, we sucked. Like, so bad one game would take us all night.” He smiled to himself, finding the memory as funny as you did.

“We all start somewhere, huh?” You completely ignored the fact it was your turn, too enthralled in his voice to care about anything else.

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” He agreed, raising a hand to the back of his neck as he nodded. “Once we started to get better, I realized just how annoying it was to lose against them, because they were insufferable about it. So I started to practice more… went to bars on my own, played against myself and whoever else was around… watched a few videos. I really was determined to get better, just so I wouldn’t have to hear them brag about beating me anymore.” At that, you couldn’t help but giggle, finding that the funniest bit of all.

“So it’s an ego thing? Couldn’t handle it?”

“No, I don’t think you understand.” He laughed, his shoulders shaking and his eyes glistening with joy for being able to share this moment with you. “I’m okay with losing, but they’re the type of guys to never let you forget it. You’ll get it, when you meet them.”

When you meet them.

Whatever was going on between you two, he wanted it to last. He wanted you to meet his friends, to be a part of the inside jokes and share the sentiments instead of just hearing a retelling of them.

You weren’t sure why, but it touched your heart much more than you thought it should.

“After a while, they caught on to me.” He confessed, his lips still holding the ghost of a smile as he watched your expression. “That’s when it really became a competition. With Sam especially, ‘cause we’ve been friends forever. Just a rite of passage for us to do shit like that.” He continued to explain himself, but you were no longer listening or caring about how he acquired his talents. Instead, you were already daydreaming about what would happen when you stepped out of the bar, what the rest of the night would hold.

You liked him, and there was no doubt about it. Everything about him, the curl of his hair and the sparkle in his eye, the slight Midwest accent still lingering in his tone and the sweetness dripping from every word. There was a kind of light, a sense of wonder and warmth that radiated from him as he stood, and you couldn’t seem to keep your eyes off of him. Worse yet, you were so attracted to him that you could barely keep your hands to yourself, and for the first time in your entire career, you were ready to throw the game and take the loss with pride.

“I like you, Danny.” You confessed, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them. The confident facade shattered in an instant, leaving your cheeks stained red and your lower lip caught between your teeth, embarrassed about your own blunt nature.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, a sheepish smile on his face as he processed your words. “I like you too, sharpshooter.”

“You’re not going to win this game, though.” You continued, trying to regain your composure as your heart raced in your chest. At that, he gave a playful roll of his eyes, motioning to the table.

“If you’re so sure of that, why don’t you win, then?”

“Good idea.” You hummed, giving a curt nod. Your head was swimming, making you realize you were much more intoxicated than you thought, but you would not let it get in your way. “Tell me about your music, rockstar.”

“Not much to tell.” He shrugged, one hand in the pocket of his jeans and the other holding his cue close to his body. He watched as you leaned down towards the table, gravity pulling the fabric of your dress away from your chest ever so slightly and causing his breath to catch in his throat. Shifting on his feet, he tried his best not to let it distract him, but he couldn’t help but fix his gaze directly on the skin where the fabric used to lay. “It’s a rock band… started it a long time ago, when we were in high school. Released a few albums and we’re about to go on tour for another one.”

“Jeez, don’t sound so enthusiastic about it.” You smiled, noticing his trailing eyes and understanding he was no better than you were, for your gaze was stuck on him just the same. Particularly where his shirt met his jeans, how when he moved just right, it shifted and exposed the smallest flash of skin.

“I am enthusiastic, but I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging. That never leaves a good impression, now does it?” He raised an eyebrow, noticing your eyes fixated on him but nowhere near his face. Smug and cocky, he waited until you looked away.

“I asked, didn’t I?” You challenged, finally looking up to meet his eye and noticing he was no longer fixated on your chest. Your stomach filled with lead, but the look in his eye did not lead you to believe he was judging you for your actions. Instead, it was curious, inviting you in for more without having to say a word.

“I play the drums.” He continued, giving in a little bit as he realized you truly did want to know and weren’t just asking as a formality. At that, the definition of the muscles in his arms suddenly made a whole lot more sense.

Then, behind your eyes, a vision of him using that strength for nothing innocent derailed your train of thought completely. You felt your thighs squeeze together instinctively, the arousal pooling beginning to soak straight through your underwear.

‘Fuck, Y/N. Get it together.’ You thought to yourself, almost appalled at how distracted he had you. You gave your head a slight shake, refocusing your eyes on the table as you drew your arm back, calling for a corner pocket and taking your shot.

“Son of a bitch.” You hissed through your teeth, all of the factors working together to frustrate you further. The ball bounced off the corner of the pocket and rolled backwards, close but not close enough. The throbbing between your legs and the twist of your stomach was driving you mad, making your palms clammy and your mouth dry.

“We won a Grammy, too.” He added, smirking at your obvious disappointment.

Hold on—Grammy?

“What?” You asked, eyebrows raised in surprise as you forgot about your previous annoyance. “That’s like… a big deal, Daniel. Usually an opening line.” You informed him, watching as he approached the table. You were still leaning downwards over the table, eye level with his waist as he towered over the opposite side. You tried your best to ignore the racing thoughts and sinful ideas flooding your mind, but it was proving impossible.

“Some would disagree.” He brushed it off, clearly proud of the achievement but doing whatever he could to get under your skin.

“Take your shot, rockstar.” You rolled your eyes, carefully raising yourself from the table as he lined himself up. You couldn’t help but notice how ethereal he seemed under the dim pot lights, how his hair hung over his shoulder and framed his perfectly crafted face, how the muscles in his arms flecked with every move. The chains around his neck hung low to the table, the watch on his wrist twinkling under the light, and that damn bandana on his head made him all the more charming.

You could feel every beat of your heart under your skin and behind your eyes. The flutter of your stomach as you watched him was nearly unbearable, and you wondered how in the hell one man could have such an intoxicating effect on you. Typically, you did not fall for the charm of regular bar patrons, but he was no regular guy. Everything about him was intriguing and intense, so overwhelming in the best possible way. You wanted him in every way you could have him, and you couldn’t bear to wait another moment.

“—sharpshooter!” Your attention was drawn to his smiling face, his expression delicately laced with glee as he looked down at the velvet tabletop. You furrowed your brows, hesitant to admit you missed the first part of his statement because you were too busy daydreaming about him.

Shit.

He won.

Effortlessly, he sank the eight ball and left the table clear of all but the cue ball. His words were not that of conversation, but of celebration. Your shock and upset did not come from regret on behalf of your wager, but simply because you lost. It had been a long time since you had fumbled so badly, and it was much harder to swallow than you previously thought it would be.

Trying your best to push that aside, you realized the other side of the coin was not any better. The burgeoning nervousness growing in the pit of your stomach was nearly sickening, forcing you to understand that it wasn’t just play anymore. You had been waiting to get his clothes off all night, but what if you were less than he expected? What if you disappointed him?

“Hey,” Danny’s sweet tone cut you loose from your endless stream of dread. As soon as your eyes connected with his, you understood you had nothing to be worried about. After everything you had seen from him, learned about him, you knew deep down he would never be that kind of person even if he tried. Goodness surrounded him, and you could not refute his kindness, not even for a single moment. “If you’re having second thoughts, we don’t have to do this, you know. I’m happy to have another beer and maybe take you for dinner tomorrow, if you’re free.”

God, why did he have to be so unbelievably perfect?

You felt guilty that your expression led him to believe you did not want to follow through, because that could not have been further from the truth. In fact, the longer you stared back at him, the more the ache between your legs pestered you. Quickly, it had become the only thing you could think about, much more pressing than your loss and much more important than your feeble insecurities. Without a second thought, you placed your cue down on the table with much less grace than usual and closed the space between you. He turned to face you, shocked at your suddenness but receptive to the change. You reached upwards, your arms snaking around his neck as your fingers tangled in the hair laying on the nape of his neck. Instantly, his large hands found your hips, pulling your body closer until you were flush against him, the beat of his heart as strong and fast as your own.

He tasted sweet, a hint of beer still lingering on his lips as you finally leaned forward and captured him in a kiss. The warmth of his body was inviting, his touch seemingly burning holes straight through the fabric of your dress. Your head was spinning, filled with thoughts only pertaining to him, and suddenly the bar in which you normally found solace was no longer where you wanted to be. His tongue traced your lower lip, his hands sliding backwards and settling just over the curve of your ass as he pulled your hips further into him. You let out a hum of pleasure, elated at his forwardness and tempting him to take it a step further.

The scent of his cologne had invaded every one of your senses, suffocating you in the most beautiful ways as you pleaded with him for more. The feeling of kissing him was beyond anything you had imagined that night, and now that you started, you couldn’t make yourself stop.

“Fuck, baby.” He muttered, his lips still grazing yours as he spoke. Now that he had a taste of the sweetness

“A deal is a deal, rockstar.” You murmured, eyes heavy as the tip of your nose brushed his. For a moment, you forgot where you were—the only thing that existed was you and Daniel, and the surge of emotion hanging so heavily between you.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He replied, keeping one arm around you as he pulled his wallet out with the other.

Without complaint, you let him lead you towards the door, throwing a bill on the counter as you passed by Chuck, who was too amused at your appearance to utter a goodbye. Within minutes, you were in the backseat of a cab and on your way to Daniel’s house, which you didn’t even thing twice about. Feeling his hands on you, burning into the skin of your thigh as you drove in near silence, nothing else mattered.

When the cab pulled into his driveway, you were blinded by need for him. Any other day, in your right might, you may have marvelled at the beauty of his home, or perhaps felt nervous that your apartment could never compare. As Daniel helped you out of the back of the cab, you didn’t even have time to think of it, your head swimming with excitement for what was to come next.

Soon after, you were inside, the openness of his entry way leading to the living room unable to be marvelled at, because his lips were on your own again. The taste of him on your tongue, the sweetness of his skin, was almost too much to withstand. The ache between your legs grew stronger with every second that passed, and your stomach twisted in knots as your fingers wrapped around his bicep, pulling him closer than he could possibly get. His hands were on your hips, strong and firm as he held you to him, similar to how he touched you at the bar but with so much more intent. You could feel him through his jeans, his need for you showcased in the most beautiful way as all of the pent up tension bled both of you dry.

The faintest of whimpers fell from your lips as you kissed him, and he drank in the sound like it was necessary for survival. His hand slid backwards, over your ass as your hearts began to beat in time. Your head was spinning, filled with filth and sin as you craved more. You weren’t sure what came over you, the carnal desire so consuming you weren’t sure you had ever felt it so strongly before.

Never breaking from the kiss, he led you towards his couch, slow and cautious so that you would not get hurt. Soon enough, you felt the back of your legs knock against the leather surface, the chill shooting straight through you and sending you further into him. Taking the initiative, you sat yourself down, using your hands on his arms to pull you with him. The whole scene was primal, rushed and desperate. All night, the two of you had been dying to get to someone’s house to pursue the very act you were engaging in then.

Daniel lowered himself with you, but used his strength to push you further back, not stopping until your back was flush against the cushions and he was kneeling in front of you. Feeling a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins, you finally pulled away to admire him. His lips were swollen, pink and slick with saliva. His eyes were dark, his pupils blown and engulfing his irises. You wished to sit and admire him all day, but he had different plans. His hands were snaking up your thighs, his fingers under the skirt of your dress and pushing it upwards, stopping only when the fabric was bunched at your hips and exposing your lower half.

He sucked in a sharp breath, overcome with emotion at the sight, but did not wait to hook his fingers beneath the lace of your panties. Lifting yourself from the couch, you helped him as he slipped them off, tossing them behind him and out of sight. Returning his hands to you, your entire body was electrified with arousal, your stomach in knots as he lowered his head to your thighs.

His lips dusted over the soft skin, the attention new and exciting after months of going without. Even so, what he was doing then paled in comparison to anyone who came before, and you knew it would always be that way. There was something so special about Daniel, so enthralling and enchanting, and in a single night you knew that you never wanted anyone or anything else.

As his tongue traced over the inside of your thigh, he used his hand to push your legs further apart, exposing you completely. Your hands raised to his head, your fingers snaking through his hair as it curled around your hands. It was soft, perfect, the light tickling sensation adding to the overwhelming stimulation you were already experiencing. Just as you grew comfortable in your new position, feeling the gentle suction of his mouth on the inside of your legs, leaving marks for days to come, you felt the gentle pinch of his teeth closing around the supple flesh. Your hips raised off the couch, shocked at the new feeling, but definitely not opposed to it.

Looking down at him, admiring the sight of him between your legs, you wondered what parts of your soul necessary to sell in order to enjoy the sin forever. As his tongue connected with your core, your head falling back on your shoulders, you knew it did not matter—you would give anything, no matter how dark or dangerous, in order to have him in such a way whenever you wanted. The warmth of his mouth, the slight movement of his tongue as it traced over your aching clit was addicting, more intense than anything you had ever felt, and exactly what you had been dreaming of since you first laid eyes on him.

The muscles in your abdomen tensed, pulling with the wave of pleasure that washed over you. Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as you casted a leg over his shoulder. Your shoulders shook with the ragged breath you drew in, knowing that it would not take long for him to get you exactly where he wanted you. A breathy moan filled the air surrounding you, loud and obscene as it made home in the walls, cementing the memory of your entanglement forever. As he flattened his tongue against you, repeating the same motion, your hips raised from the couch to meet his time, your body begging for more when your lips could not do it for you.

The need was throbbing under your skin, taking over your entire body and turning you into a mess below him. He hummed against you, showing his appreciation for the show you were putting on. Feeling your nipples harden, the slight friction against the rough fabric of your dress sent you even further down the spiral. A shiver went down your spine as he suctioned his lips around your clit, the slight pressure overwhelming and pushing you closer to the steep edge.

You were nearly embarrassed, humiliated that it took so little for him to get such a reaction. You wanted to blame it on how long it had been since you fell into bed with a man, how focused you were on everything but romance, but you knew it was all because of him. From the minute you laid eyes on him, you knew he was the very thing you were waiting for, the only reason to break your unintentional spell of abstinence, because he was worth it. He wasn’t just in it for himself, nor was he pretending to be something he was not. He was just a man, undeniably capable of things many others weren’t, and he wanted to use the skill with you. He was different, and you knew it from the minute you met him, and you hoped he felt the same about you.

“Oh, fuck.” You whined, the breath knocked straight from your lungs as he slipped his hand between your leg, the tip of his middle finger collecting wetness by your entrance. “Please, Danny—need more.” You choked out, the desire pulsing behind your eyes as you wondered if you could even handle more.

Obliging to the request, he slipped his middle finger inside of you, slow as he curled it ever so slightly. The feeling was euphoric paired with the movement of his tongue, and the cry of desperation that forced its way through you only encouraged him further.

“I guess my biggest question, sharpshooter,” he said, breathless as he pulled his mouth away from you. The loss was debilitating, but he slipped his thumb in place, just so he did not lose the momentum. You looked down, the cockiness written clear across his expression agitating just as well as it was enticing. “Is if I’m making you feel good?”

“Fuck you.” You muttered, my cheeks blazing as you held his gaze. For some reason, the eye contact was even more intense than anything else he was doing, making it seem like he had stripped you down to bare bones and wisps of soul, seeing the very things that made you, you.

“Yeah, that was my intention.” He teased, adding his index finger as he kept a steady pace, the slight curl of his fingers pushing you closer to a climax. “But that's not an answer.”

“God, yes.” You seethed, unsure why you were irritated when he was doing so much for you. Perhaps you were still brooding about your loss, about how he had many tricks up his sleeve he’d kept well hidden. Though his deceit paid off for both of you, you were a sore loser.

“Don’t sound so sure of yourself.” He echoed your earlier words, taunting me as the pull of pleasure threatened you. You were balancing on a delicate line, and it wouldn’t take much more to push you over the edge.

“What, you couldn’t see for yourself?” You tried your hardest to give it back to him, but your strength was wavering. Your eyes fluttered closed as your head fell back again. A gutteral sound left your lips, tainting the room with sin as your back arched off the couch.

“I could, but hearing you say it is so much better.” He confirmed, clearly seeing the state you were in, knowing exactly what he was doing to you. He had little remorse, little care, and he was intent to follow through until the very end. “Come on, baby. Tell me all about it.”

With that, he returned his mouth to you, his tongue taking the place of his fingers. The switch was lethal, the soft, warm wetness of his mouth overwhelming in the best possible way. Paired with the curl of his fingers, still moving inside you with that same, perfect pace, he did not miss a single movement. Feeling the tension in your belly reach a peak, you choked on the breath trying to force its way to your lungs.

The intensity grew as his tongue traced over the sensitive bundle of nerves, and soon after, you came crashing down. Spewing obscenities, your hands held his head in place as your hips raised to meet the time of his tongue, the orgasm so intense you felt like you were floating. For a few, unbearable seconds, your joints locked and your whole body ached from the sensation, your throat raw as you cried his name, pleading for something you knew you could not handle.

Waking you through it, he did not slow until you relaxed against the cushions. You barely noticed as he pulled away, still high from the pleasure and trying to come down. Finally cracking your eyes open, you noticed he was standing over you, undoing the buckle of his belt as he pulled it free from the loops of his denim jeans. He was painfully hard, strained against the zipper and desperate for relief himself. Your mouth watered at the thought, so eager to feel him inside of you that you did not wait until he directed you further.

With shaky limbs, you sat up, holding eye contact as he freed himself from his jeans and his boxers. Switching positions, he could not seem to pry his gaze from your fucked our expression, your flushed cheeks and plush lips the only thing on his mind until you turned away, not taking the time to rid yourself of your dress as you faced the back of the couch on your knees. Planting one firm hand on the frame, you looked back over your shoulders as you pushed your hips backward, towards him as you offered the very thing he’d been thinking of all night.

With a hiss of joy staining his teeth, his large palms landed on your hips, pulling you back a little further to make it easier for him. Stepping forward at the same time, you felt his cock against you, the tip gliding through the pooling arousal at your entrance. If possible, the sensation sent you further over the edge, so animalistic that you could barely recognize yourself.

“Is this what you wanted, rockstar?” You asked, your knuckles white as you felt him glide through your folds. The tip of his cock brushed over your sensitive clit, your legs twitching from the intense feeling.

“Bet on it, didn’t I?” He asked, knowing he was only teasing both of you further by refusing to fuck you.

“You could’ve just asked, you know.” You pointed out, sucking in a sharp breath as he repeated the same action over again. Your legs were trembling, barely holding you up, but you refused to give in. “Or were you too scared I’d turn you down?”

“Scared isn’t quite the word.” He corrected you, finally settling his tip just over your entrance. You felt yourself clench around nothing, wanting him so badly but refusing to give him any more gratification to fuel his ego. “No shame in earning something. You’d know something about that, wouldn’t you, sharpshooter?”

“You really would have gone home alone if you lost?” You asked, curious more than anything, wondering if he had wanted you just as badly, or if it really was a game to him.

“Fuck no.” He nearly laughed, slamming his hips forward at the same time as he spoke, catching you off guard and knocking the air from your lungs. Gasping at the feeling of him filling you completely, the stretch as you accommodated his size was addicting, irresistible. “We both knew I was always going to win.”

Before you could respond, he withdrew his hips and slammed forward with the same, bruising force. As the tip of his cock brushed against your cervix, your whole body reacted, your walls squeezing around him and pulling him in further. Drunk off him and eager for him to keep going, you still couldn’t keep your mouth shut, unwilling to go down without a fight.

“So you weren’t amazed by my skill.” You called him on the white lie, forcing the words through gritted teeth while pushing yourself back on him. He began a steady pace as you tried so hard to keep your mind straight to not give him the satisfaction. You looked back over your shoulder, catching his eye and locking him in a stare. He raised his hand to your head, gathering your hair in his palm and wrapping it around his fist. Pulling your head back ever so slightly, the new leverage he had over you sent your head spinning.

“It had nothing to do with skill, beautiful.” He replied, giving you a soft smile. The small expression sent your stomach fluttering with nerves for a whole new reason, making you fear that it only took a single night for you to fall head over heels for him.

“Then what would you call it, darlin’?” You asked, your breath hitching in your throat as a wave of pleasure washed over you. Tightening his grip on your hair, he pulled your head back a little further as he leaned down, his lips settled just over your ear as his warm breath tickled your burning skin. You couldn’t help but arch your back further, feeling the curve of your ass fit nicely against the groove of his hip.

You wondered, if you weren’t meant to go home with him, why the hell did the two of you fit so perfectly together?

“How the hell were you supposed to win when you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me?” He asked, making your mouth run dry as the vibration of his words ran straight through you. Swallowing hard, you felt his teeth close around your earlobe, applying slight pressure and sending you over the edge.

Taking it upon yourself, you moved your head to the side against the strength of his hand, unable to resist as you pressed your lips against his own. The taste of him was intoxicating, even more so with the taste of you still lingering on his lips. You felt his tongue graze your skin, your heartbeat so agonizingly strong it was all you could hear. It was messy, heated, and perfectly fitting for the two of you thus far. You weren’t sure anything else would work. Two seemingly strong personalities with no intent to back down, it was a battle from the minute you locked eyes across the pool table, and you had no intent of stopping.

He continued to move inside of you, the feeling even more intense after your last orgasm, and you knew you weren’t far out from a second. The sharpness of his tongue, always having a comeback, and the witty yet playful nature of his responses did more for you than his hands or his mouth did. It was a struggle to find someone who balanced you out, which was a big reason why you neglected to give in to the other men who tried to do as he did that night. For some reason, you knew, without doubt, that Daniel was the type of person you had been looking for all along. Exciting, challenging, and fun, but still sweet and kind. You wondered why he picked you, a burn-out adrenaline junkie who only ever paid rent on a whim.

It was easy to ask why, but as he moved against you, the answer was right before your very eyes. The chemistry between you was undeniable, something that could not be faked, and something that could not be ignored. Some things are just right, no matter how hard you try to fight it, and as it seemed, the stars aligned perfectly for you without you even realizing it.

Breaking from the kiss, you tried to catch your breath, finding it difficult as he moved inside of you. The pleasure was undeniable, bordering on painful as your body begged him for more. More he could not give, and more you could not handle, but god you wanted it. Everything about him made you want more, even if it was an impossible task, and as you verged on the edge of a second orgasm, you knew letting him go wasn’t an option. Not only had he amazed you with his ability to beat you at your own game, but he amazed you in every other sense. Disappointment was a far away feeling when with him, and that was something you wanted to get used to.

“Fuck, Danny.” You whined, his face still close to yours. The words vibrated through both of you, the feeling of him pressed against you exhilarating as you stared that same innate desire in the eye.

“That’s it, baby. Tell me how good it feels.” His words forced the knot in your belly tighter, fraying and threatening as it pleaded with you to let go.

“You fill me so fucking good.” You confessed, your whole body covered in a sheen layer of sweat as you tried to keep up with him. “M’gonna cum.” You confessed, knowing that you couldn’t take it any longer. Your mascara was running down your cheeks, blazing red and warm. Your throat was raw, your body aching with need, and you knew he was the only answer.

“Cum for me, baby. Being such a good girl.” You gasped at the sound of the praise, washing over you like summer rain and coercing you to let go. “Show me how good I make you feel.”

That seemed to be all you needed to give in to the feeling, submitting to the torturous pressure as your posture faltered, leaving you a mess again underneath him. The pathetic cries falling from your lips coerced him to do the same, his hips faltering and his pace slowing as the pleasure took over. The two of you, finally giving in to what you wanted so badly, experiencing a euphoric high together. He spilled his release inside of you, the sensation drawing out your orgasm just a bit longer as your body begged you to draw in a breath. Keeping a slow roll of his hips, he ensured you got the most pleasure possible, only slowing to a stop when the curses falling from your lips turned into desperate cries, pleading for mercy.

Both of you drew in a ragged breath as your composure faltered, your body trying to relax against the couch as you attempted to come back to. Carefully, Danny withdrew from you, making sure you were alright before sitting next to you. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him as he laid back against the arm, caring little for the mess and more about being near you.

The entire night had been a whirlwind of events, the adrenaline so high you barely had a moment to catch up with it. Laying there with him, silent and calm, you knew that what came before could not even compare to it. The strong arms holding you close, keeping you secure as you processed the rapid pace that led you there. You wondered, was it normal to feel so comfortable with someone you had just met? Was it normal to feel like you had known him your entire life?

You had let him in beyond what many others could comprehend, telling him about your father and allowing him to beat you at a game of pool, and not even that scared you. If anything, you were happy you did, and your only thought was when it could happen again. You wanted to keep getting to know him, to keep telling him things you never before cared to tell, and you wanted him to meet Izzy, because you knew she would love him. It was strange to be so open to letting someone in, but deep in your heart you felt it was the only thing you could do. Forcing him out seemed more painful than allowing him in.

“You okay, sharpshooter?” He asked, his voice so soft and different than it had been all night, so doting and caring. It was nice to be seen, nice to be known, and you wanted to know what it was like with him.

“Yeah, I’m good.” You nodded, smiling to yourself. “Just thinking.”

“About?” He chuckled, his long fingers toying with the ends of your hair. The slight tickle on your skin was soothing. You never wanted him to stop.

“You, I guess.” You shrugged. “I guess this means I lost out on backstage passes.” Laughing to himself, he raised a free hand to your face, turning your head to look at him. He admired you for a moment, the redness of your cheeks and the shine of your eyes, finding himself feeling all the same ways.

“I’m sure we could work something out.” He assured you, swiping away flecks of fallen mascara with his thumb.

“Guess that would mean I didn’t earn it.” You teased, exhausted yet still energized by his company. A blinding smile on his face, you couldn’t help but notice the tugging of your heartstrings.

“So, what? You want a rematch?” He raised an eyebrow, wondering if that’s really what you were asking of him.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, giggling to yourself as you stared up at his beautiful face. “Unless you’re scared it was beginners luck?”

“No, not scared.” He reiterated his earlier claim, his thumb still tracing your cheek. “You think you can handle the stakes?”

“I think I could manage.” You nodded, the same stupid smile still pulling your lips. It seemed permanent so long as he was around. “I suppose losing isn’t all that bad… especially if it’s to the right person.”

Against everything you ever believed, you knew for a fact the loss resulted in a bigger gain than ever before, and you would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant he was the prize.

[aro-but-not-ace]

Being in relationships as a romance neutral/favorable aro (for alloro readers with aro partners)

I’m romance neutral* and greyromantic*. I have been in romantic relationships. I don’t believe I was attracted to my partners as much as people thought I was. But I chose to be in those relationships and stayed with those people until other factors didn’t work out (ie unfixable communication issues or different long term goals).

I’ve had some of my partners ask “so you don’t love me?” when I opened up more about being arospec with a sad tone in their voice. Or I’ve had friends say “why would you be someone’s partner if you don’t love them?” with a hint of judgment and disdain as they say it.

Here is how I look at it, and keep in mind, this is most likely NOT a universal aro experience. BUT I know that some alloro people worry that since their aro partners don’t “love” them, they can’t be sure about their relationship at all.

Aromanticism is the lack of romantic attraction. In my personal experience, this generally means I have equal attraction to everybody in a romantic sense (side note, this is why I thought I was biromantic for a long time). So, imagine, baseline I just feel neutral about everyone. My relationships are largely based upon experiences and connections I have with people, not solely on attraction.

A lot of my partners thought that this means I feel less about them or that they were just like everyone else. But here’s the thing—I literally chose them out of everyone else to be partners with. In a broader sense, take how alloplatonic* people view friendships: you may be closer with some friends, you may trust some friends with certain things more, or you might have just become friends and are learning more about each other. These people are all friends, and the friendship dynamic isn’t always built on platonic attraction. It can be extremely circumstantial.

If you worry about your aro partner leaving you because they’re aro, I assure you that they will not just up and leave at random just because they’re aro. If they do, there is a very different reason for that. It’s a very personal and complex topic. It ties into factors such as commitment, communication, life goals, and relationship satisfaction and compatibility.

So if anyone is alloromantic and questioning if they can be in a relationship with an aro person, think about it this way: the question shouldn’t be “do they love me?”, and try thinking about it as “do they care for me?”

Glossary* and footnotes after the break

Just some disclaimers so I don’t have to explain later:

1. Yes, some aro people can feel love in other ways. Yes, some aros are loveless. We are all different. I mostly think that alloro people associate “do they love me?” directly with “do they love me romantically?”, which is understandable, but personally I think that in any relationship, CARE and ACTION are the most important aspects in any relationship. Even in an allo relationship, two people can love each other but not properly care for one another.

2. Also, love is not easily defined, so “do they care for me” presents a much more concrete and observable question that is much less stressful than “do they love me?” And I say this as someone who ended up in abusive situations because I told myself “well, they love me, so this must be fine.” I am mostly making this post to tell alloromantic people that being aro does not directly affect how someone may act in a relationship. Yes, it might be a factor, but saying aro = unloving partner is not true and extremely harmful.

3. I wrote this while sleep deprived and I talk a lot when sleep deprived so sorry if this all made no sense or was very rambley.

*GLOSSARY:

Romance neutral - feeling indifferent to romance, whether it be romantic coded actions (ie kissing, hugging, cuddling, etc), romantic situations (ie dates), or the general idea of a romantic relationship

Romance favorable - desiring to engage in romance despite being aromantic, generally the opposite of being romance repulsed

Greyromantic - feeling romantic attraction but less frequently or intensely as alloromantic people. Also an umbrella term for other microlabels in the aro community

Alloplatonic - people who feel platonic (friend) attraction, as opposed to being aplatonic (lacking platonic attraction)

[nuclearanomaly]

Spite Loves...

[welcometogrouchland]

♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫

(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

[scarymonsters-andsupercreeps]

Edward and Alphonse Mucha Elric

[slavhew]

made them to strike fear into my heart whenever i falter in my studies

no text ver under the cut