#asexual-mess-and-stuff

[randoimago]

Hi! I'm a huge fan of your work and I've been sending anon requests for a while, but I had this idea and I thought you'd like it!

What about an M9 and Essek x reader (preferably platonic) where the reader loves to bake and decorate pastries for the group as a way to relax and calm down after trips or a particularly difficult days events?

With a Reader That Bakes for the Group

Fandom: Critical Role

Characters: Beauregard Lionett, Caduceus Clay, Caleb Widogast, Essek Theylss, Fjord, Jester Lavorre, Veth Brenatto, Yasha Nydoorin

Type of Request: Headcanons, Platonic

Notes: Aw thank you so much! This is a very cute idea and I’ll do my best to write it for you!!

Mighy Nein (and Essek)

Beau definitely sneaks bites of raw cookie dough or finger fulls of icing (she washes her hands first). Might complain that you’re trying to ruin her physique with your baking, but she loves it.

Caduceus enjoys making tea to go with your baked goods. He has a lot of knowledge of which types of tea goes best with what kind of sweet you make. Does his best to stay out of your way since it’s difficult to find big kitchens that’ll be available to use.

Caleb isn’t really a sweets person, but if you baked bread then he’ll gladly sample some. Definitely has some bittersweet memories of some treats you make as it reminds him of things his parents would bake, but he still thanks you for doing this.

Essek is also not really a sweets person, but he’ll do his best to help decorate. Art isn’t really his forte, but it is kind of funny how much of a perfectionist he is when it comes to decorating cookies or cake.

Fjord feels so guilty eating your baked goods. They taste so good, but he has enough trouble with Veth teasing about his lack of muscles. Still eats it because he can’t let your talent go to waste.

Jester absolutely loves the fact that you bake! Even if you’re all in the middle of traveling she’d ask if you could make her a very specific type of cupcake. Probably has some kind of recipe book somewhere for you or she’d ask if you could make the most crazy types of sweets for her (and the others, but mostly for her).

Veth would make requests if you could add alcohol to any of your baking. Not too much, but just a tad. She’s heard that cooking with alcohol is a thing, so maybe you could replace some milk with whiskey. There’s hardly a difference in her mind.

Yasha is constantly surprised by what baked good she likes. At first she didn’t really have an opinion on cookies or biscuits or whatnot, but she’s constantly finding a new favorite from your baking.

[queeradhdcultureis]

Queer ADHD culture is being the little sibling at work because you're the youngest one there and you seem really childish at times

Also happy stimming in the yarn aisle of every craft store ever

yay happy stim!!

[science-lings]

Just once I need a fake relationship trope that stays fake. Gimme two aspec people who team up to get married for insurance or tax benefits or family pressure and don’t fall in love while it’s going on. There’s no magical moment when they practice kissing or whatever. I want two friends to trust each other so much that they tie their lives together and they take advantage of the hyper-romantization of two people being emotionally close to one another. It would be fun.

[hells-greatestdad]

// useless rambling in tags abt mun's feelings on smut/spicy stuff in regards to my muses

[eru-iru]

my uhh bedman headcanons it's a mess

- can sleep while standing

- has autism

- doesn't care too much on looking masculine (like looking too muscular etc)

- has a very weak immune system due to being in a coma for so long, his growth got stunted and he never much grew in height

- a bit self conscious of his height

- linguistics and literature are his fav

- likes theatre and movie making, aspired to create films and stories

- a bit socially awkward/dense but still want to connect with ppl (he's trying his best to learn)

- suffers from narcolepsy

- doesn't sleeptalk; sleeps like a log. he gets grumpy if you wake him up too early for his liking

- likes horror, gore, and cute things; doesn't really get scared of the horror stuff but instead finds joy in it and ppl's different reaction to it

- likes to tinker with machinery and magic

- sleeps best with his favorite pillow

- knows martial arts/physical combat but since his physical body is too weak, he uses his bedframe for that instead. he doesn't let the limitations of his real body hold him back, he'll find a way (magic, bedframe and whatever else he thinks of)

- enjoys fighting, he's a bit competitive with it

- prefers wearing oversized/loose clothing. it feels freeing and added benefit of hiding his small frame. also prefers wearing footwear that makes him slightly taller. also likes to wear fluffy things because it reminds him of sheep

- can play the piano easily because for him it's like math

- can sing but only does it rarely

- can drink alcohol and not get drunk easily. don't ask how we'll never know

- if he finds something cute he likes to take a picture of it or take a selfie (based on faust IK)

- mostly aroace or gay asexual (bias but I'm open to anything ahaha)

- birthday is at may 2 (same as jp va)

[thursdayg1rl]

wish there was a way to make sure no one in this family ever says my name again

[shy-forceghost]

Yesterday I had my first kind of coming-out talk with someone in person and ... It just showed me that you really shouldn't force anyone to come out to you simply because "you are close", you know?

[olderthannetfic]

I'm trying to understand AO3's tag synning, but I'm honestly lost. Bratting is a canonical tag. Brat Taming isn't marked as common and can't be filtered on, and it's linked to nothing else. But (slight) Brat Taming is not only marked as common, but it's also synned with Bratting?

I don't think I'll ever understand.

--

What's not to understand?

Tag wrangling is done by specific humans on specific dates. So is the tagging of works.

No doubt, someone used the synned tag a long time ago when wranglers were allowed to go mess with those tags. Later, there was a freeze on wrangling the pan-fandom trope stuff because 1. it was slowing down the archive for technical reasons and 2. there were a bajillion internal wanks about trying to standardize rules and make actual guidelines. Some of this was dumb fandom drama. Some of it was trying to get clueless but well-meaning people to stop repeatedly synning shit like 'asexuality' to shit like 'sexless'.

The other tag must have come in later when nobody was allowed to touch it.

--

That said, nothing can be both marked as common and a syn. It's one or the other.

[smolvenger]

Hot for Teacher (Professor! Tom Hiddleston x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Some thirsty comments and cursing, but no smut. Established relationship and lots of fluffy moments. Grammar and spelling mistakes that slipped past me. Reader not being a student and being an Adult Adult (tm). A big fancy ball because I decided not some hum drum party was gonna do. (I'm the writer, I can do what I want). I rip off YouTube comments and Ana Huang and stuff I see on Tiktok and Instagram.

A/N: For @holdmytesseract's request! I am sorry this took a while due to stuff happening, but here it is!!!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You always visited the campus coffee shop on Mondays at 10 am to overhear students being thirsty for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at their comments. They were leaving their English Literature Survey class. Only they weren’t discussing books.  

“Sooo nice of him to lower the word count for the essay, he knows it’s a lot.”

“Holy crap, did you see how tight his shirt was today? I could practically see his titties.”

“He needs to quote Shakespeare again. I think I’m developing a kink.”

“If I caught my girl in bed with Professor Hiddleston, I’d tuck him in.”

“If I was at the club and Professor Hiddleston was hitting on my girl, I’d start to cry…because he didn’t choose me.”

“I’m a hardcore lesbian, but Professor Hiddleston is on my cheat card.”

“I’m a hardcore asexual, but Professor Hiddleston is so hot that if I had to get pregnant I’d want him to do the honors.”

You sipped up your drink, sitting in a far corner. Smiling bright as you heard them. Stifling a laugh so hard you could feel your drink always threatened to snort out of your nose. You would cup your face, ensuring they didn’t take note of you. Even get out the notes app on your phone to type them down. Not that you’d ever show him. 

He was their hot Professor. But to you, he was just Tom.

Just Tom. A boyfriend who cared for you respected you, and listened to you. Who did the bare minimum and so much more. They didn’t know his flaws, living with each other's smells and body odors and functions and insecurities. And the little, beautiful moments that made you all the more in love with him. How you would both go to bookstores and geek out after certain works, make a mess in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or stay in your pajamas until 1 pm watching something on the TV. Did they know how loud he snored at night? Or how sensitive his neck was? Or that he was fidgety if he sat too long? 

Then one of them said “His girlfriend is one lucky ass bitch. I wonder what she’s like?”

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!” one asked.

They all shot up like meerkats with big smiles.

You froze, only staring quietly at your drink. 

Tom didn’t talk about you in class. Nothing. Nada. Goose eggs.  They didn't know you existed.

So far you were sure they were not little homewreckers- not successfully, at least. You trusted Tom and he trusted you and his students respected his boundaries. But he blocked them on social media so they wouldn’t dig anything about him. Tom was a private person and he wanted that to be respected by his students. 

When you both met to hang out and make dinner later that evening- his special Spaghetti bolognese recipe, he gave you a hug and kiss on your head.

“Oh, you missed a spot!” you teased.

His eyes crinkled beneath his glasses.

“Oh- uh,” he voiced out.

You dived in to kiss him on the lips, his beard scratching your chin.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Oh, just fine. Your students were…wondering about me today. I saw them at the shop.”

“They didn’t recognize you?”

“No- they don’t know what I look like. Or about me, period…we’ve kept it that way…”

Both of you got into the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and preparing the pasta and sauce. It smelled of garlic, onion, and olive oil, making your stomach rumble. How easily smelling that in a kitchen could solve all of your problems!

He smiled at you. Then, as the pasta was set to boil in the pot, he turned to you. His sleeves rolled up (making you giddy inside) and his face was a little flushed from the heat of the steam from cooking.

“My angel, I don’t want to keep you in hiding- and you shouldn’t.”

“Tom, what do you mean?” you asked. You stirred the sauce, then tapped the spoon and set it on a jar for attempted cleanliness.

 I love you. And this is a part of my life…would you like to meet them? I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I won’t let them!” 

He went up to hug you from behind and you watched the simmering food.

You paused, taking in a breath. What were you afraid of? Were you ashamed of Tom or being with him? No, not a bit.

 You turned around to face him.

“They’re college kids. They’re basically puppies…I think I’d like to meet them.” you agreed

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

You both decided what event it should be that you would meet them. There were events called Bookish Balls that were all the rage now. It was a prom for adults. Proms where everyone dressed like fantasy characters and showed off costumes and even cosplays. It was everything from complex armor to a dress with some elf ears on. 

You knew he had a Shakespearean-era outfit from a play he did that he kept you just had to find the right look. It would be more exciting and less creepy then if you jumped on them at the mall like a pair of stalkers. 

And the ball looked like fun.

You and Tom both arrived. He was in his Shakespearean garb and crown. You had your own outfit- you adored it. You couldn’t help but look at each large mirror you walked by as you walked down the dim hallways with carpeted floors.

All the students were talking about it- tickets were 60 percent off for students. Since they were all raving about these hot new fantasy books between their required reading of Dickens. They all rattled their iced coffees like maracas and gossiped and shared pics of their outfits on their phones every day before class according to Tom. Most of them would all be there.

Little did they know their Professor was going to be there, as well as his girlfriend.

You both arrived at the fine, fancy hotel. Tom was dressed in his leather doublet and pants with a large cape and a grand crown. Ever the king. You had splurged on the fancy outfit you wanted badly- and you felt as if you were a heroine in a story as you walked through.

“You look stunning- they’re going to adore you,” Tom assured you.

You hoped so. If they met you and humiliated you in some way tonight or after, you would move to Antarctica and learn to speak penguin. 

Taking his arm and feeling like royalty, you both went down the fine large building. You saw people gathered. There were some stage lights and the large gala room had trees with flowers everywhere as well as thrones, little game booths photo booths, and a banquet. And, of course, a packed dance floor. A live band played. Many people wore crowns and wings and elf ears and were dancing away with zeal. Women twirled their ballgown skirts with smiles so big it lit them up. Many flicked their capes dramatically or wrapped around them like blankets. There were fairy lights and glitter everywhere and there were photo ops and even a costume contest. It was in full sway.

 Including a crowd that included Tom’s students. They jumped up in time to the song, breathlessly singing along to every word.

Tom held out your hand, both of you feeling like the king and queen looking over their jubilant subjects. You both walked down. Hoping your outfit looked as nice on you as you hoped it would.

The song was entering its last chorus. The student's backs were turned and their capes and wings were bouncing as they danced. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

He went to his group of students and cleared his throat. At once they turned their heads.

They looked at him and then you and their jaws dropped.

Tom said.“hello, here is  Y/N, my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.” He then leaned you in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

All of their eyes bugged out of their skulls and jaws dropped like broken nutcrackers among them.

You were worried the girls in the group would glare at you like they were going to rip out your stomach intestines.

But instead, all of them collapsed into a collective “AAaaaaawwwwwww, hello!” and “What?! WHAT?!” Their eyes flitted toward Tom in tight leather (who wouldn’t?) and you in your presence. 

You went up like in any social situation. You gave them a smile- warm, genuine, polite, and friendly.

“Hi there, it’s nice to meet you- I heard all about you guys!”

You shook their hands. You got to meet them and learn names- Kelly, Hailey, Jessie, Emily, Daniel, Isaiah, Chase, Cameron, Kat, Miranda, Edgar, and so many more your head spun. But you eventually got it with practice.

But they let you dance with them. Be relaxed and have fun. It moved from a band to a playlist of all the classic dance songs. The band blasted Single Ladies and the girls invited you, dragging you in. You tried to copy the moves from the music video, but couldn’t quite and they all burst into laughter anyway.

It then slowed down- it was a ballad, the Cody Fry song about falling in love being like a symphony.

“Well…could I have a dance with my lady?” Tom asked, holding out his hand.

They gasped and looked at you.

“Oh, what a gentleman! I’d be delighted!” you said, accepting his hand.

They let you and Tom have a slow dance- how handsome he looked in the light, beaming at you. They smiled as if they were watching a rom-com at the end. There were no angry glares- at most, some looked a little reflective and sad. But none dared interrupt the moment with you and Tom.

Would they hate you after seeing the affection?

If so, they shut their mouths and minded their beeswax about it.

There were loads of pictures- you were willing to take some (they were seeing you as the surrogate Adult Adult more than their adults) and they included you in some, including some selfies.

Tom excused himself and returned with even brought you a little plate of food. a plate full of little sandwiches, cheeses, and fruits. You both rested your feet and shared some, feeling their eyes on you. For dessert, there were some gooey brownies that melted in your mouth. Tom eagerly grabbed some, his large hands packing as many brownies as he could. 

But you realized his beard had streaks of chocolate brownies on it, you burst into laughter and you heard some giggling from the students too.

“Oh, let me take care of that!” you offered.

You got out a handkerchief and wiped it off of him. You definitely heard “awwwws” in the distance. Looking at it, his beard was now clean.

“There you go! But dashing as always!” you said.

He held your hand and kissed it. The “AWWWWWS” got louder in the back and you both had to suppress your laughter.

Rejoining the students, you saw them less as little judges or would-be homewreckers. You got to talk to them. Maybe you judged them harshly- you remembered being in college when you were that young too. Of course, they grumbled about the coursework sometimes and you gave your own insight. 

“Oh- you’re seriously reading Persuasion? Oh, just wait! Austen takes some time to get used to when you read her stuff- read them slowly and you will catch onto what’s happening! The yearning in that one is beautiful” you encouraged a distraught Hailey. 

You even discussed what fantasy books they were into and got some more recommendations for your ever-growing TBR. And at the end, every last person in the crowd gathered and danced. You and Tom joined the students with big grins and aching feet, but you wouldn’t stop until that last song ended its phrase. No drama. No pettiness. And no hiding. No fear. Just people at a party. Young and happy and alive.

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

The other morning, you were back at the coffee shop. Waiting on them. Soon enough, they arrived in their band, though you remained in the corner. 

“I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend!” Daniel gasped.

“Really?! I’m not! A man that fine can have his pick,” Kelly commented.

They began to all get iced coffees and gather around.

“She is gorgeous- didn’t you see her at that ball!? And she’s super nice!”

“Yeah…I want them to be happy and he seems so happy-”

“Oh, he is cheesing after her- you saw how he smiled?! And how he got the plate for her? Like, he’s a walking green flag!”

‘She’s so lucky!

“Listen, I am glad they’re happy…I just wish it were me…”

They all sighed and agreed,. You waited for that whole vibe of that phrase to blow away.

Then, quietly you walked over.

“Hello everyone,” you said.

They gasped and turned heads.

“YN! YN, hi!” one boy, what was his name- oh yes, Cameron!-said.

“Oh, I just wanted to pop by,” you added.

Then, Emily stood up. She got out a chair from one table and moved it over to where everyone sat .

“Do you have anywhere to be? You can…you can join us! You’re welcome to!”

You smiled at them and took a seat.

[randoimago]

I'm currently watching Campaign 3 of Critical Role after finally finishing 1 and 2 after 6 months 😅 Could I request some fluff with an Ashton x reader and how they'd celebrate Halloween with his s/o? Hope you're doing well!

How They Spend Halloween

Fandom: Critical Role, Campaign 3

Characters: Ashton Greymoore

Type of Request: Headcanons, 🎃

Notes: This is more of a generic how they spend Halloween, but they'd probably still have S/O along for all of this too.

Ashton

Oh he's absolutely going to steal some candy from kids. Especially if they're acting like pricks because they're rich so they have all the king sized shit.

Nightmare King mask is on and they're jumping out to spook everyone. They'll even try scaring you, which might get them punched, but it's worth it.

He might take a detour with the candy he's stolen to go to some slums district to distribute the treats to the kids that aren't able to really do Halloween. Just don't tell anyone he's actually a nice guy.

Would compliment people on their costumes too. Even if it's generic, store bought, that kid had the balls to go out in that dumb outfit. They get a compliment.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Make a mess of me

Of Oak and Ivy, Chapter 9

Series Masterlist         Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: In college, Matt Murdock had two best friends, Foggy Nelson and you. However, life had no intention of letting you graduate with him. When he reconnects with you in adulthood, he is troubled to see the hand God has dealt you and vows to use every tool at his disposal to save you from damnation.

warnings: SMUT. YES FULL P IN V SMUT. (don't get too excited y'all, the pining isn't over yet.) swearing, slight degradation, underage drinking

a/n: The biggest shout out to @gracethyomen for ghostwriting the sexy parts because my asexual ass had no idea what I was doing. This was the first time I ever attempted smut so I hope you all like it. As always, comments and reblogs help encourage me to write more!

w/c: 3.1k

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT:

The floorboards beneath Matt’s feet trembled as the throbbing bass boomed throughout the bar. Around him, groups of students screamed along to the lyrics of the pop song blaring through the DJ's speakers. Gripping the neck of his lukewarm beer, he lifted the bottle to his mouth—met with more resistance than he was expecting when the ancient remnants of spilled drinks on the tabletop clung to the glass. He tried not to scrunch his nose as his finger drifted across a patch of an unidentified sticky substance on the surface in front of him.

Shoving thoughts of the unpleasant sensation aside, Matt chugged the rest of his bottle, relishing in the warm current rippling through his veins as his past few drinks finally started to take effect. Breathing deeply, his lips twitched up. Despite the stifling heat of bodies grinding against each other and the acrid smell of vomit coating the place, he felt wildly at ease. His senses were still overactive, but he could feel them dulling as his brain grew fuzzy. Face slackening as his cheeks turned rosy, his mouth broke into a full grin.

“Are you feelin' it, Murdock?” Foggy laughed, clapping him on the back clumsily. His roommate's breath, which reeked of bottom shelf vodka, clouded against Matt's cheek as he patted the other man's back.

Smiling dopily, Matt leaned into the arm Foggy had around him. “Not at all,” His sentence broke off into a laugh he didn't recognize. Had that come from him?

“Oh he's feelin' it.” Foggy cackled gleefully, tossing a proud look to the girl across the table from the two. “I told ya: the cheap stuff works faster.”

“I'll have to agree with you there, buddy.” Matt snorted, rolling his loosening shoulders.

“I'm still not convinced.” The girl giggled. Her dangling earrings clinked on their chains as she shook her head.Matt hid a knowing smile behind the lip of his now-empty bottle as he felt her and Foggy flush with warmth in tandem, their pulses sprinting like jackrabbits.

"Oh Foggy would know. It's not his first time here." Matt squeezed his friend’s knee, shoving it towards the girl in what he hoped was an obvious gesture. "Did he tell you how he met the bouncer?"

Puffing out his chest, Foggy beamed. Launching into a rather embellished story of how he'd met the senior by saving his younger sister from being mugged. Nothing had happened really, he'd yelled at the guy (who had promptly scurried off), but Matt kept his mouth shut. Who was he to deny Foggy a connection with this girl he was clearly into?

If only he could tell Foggy that she was equally into him, that he didn't need to try so hard. Keeping his senses a secret from his best friend was nearly impossible when alcohol lowered his guard.

His face must have fallen because Foggy scoffed at him. "What did I say, Murdock?"

"Nothing, I just realized it's my turn to buy a round." Matt gave an exaggerated grimace, his body flooding with relief when Foggy and his admirer laughed in response.

"Buy another three shots," Foggy requested, turning back to his admirer. "I'm not done trying to convince Miss Stahl here that she's going about this 'drinking' thing all wrong."

"Trying to get me drunk, Nelson?" The girl responded smugly, tilting her head at him.

"Hey, we'll see where the night takes us," Foggy stated emphatically, spreading his arms wide.

Matt smirked, shoving his chair away from the table and heading to the bar. Squeezing his way through the crowd of his inebriated classmates, he gripped the sticky bartop to cement his place in line. Hearing the bartender drift towards him, he threw up a hand and called out the request.

“Sure thing, man. It'll be a minute.” The bartender called back, busying himself with the plate of cocktails he seemed to be making for the gaggle of sorority girls off to Matt's left.

Matt nodded politely, leaning his weight against the sturdy wood planks of the bar. The air around him shifted as the scantily-clad girls split off towards an open table, one staying behind to bring the drinks. The hair on his neck prickled as her attention turned toward him. He couldn't help but smile as he felt her heart rate speed up, her limbs flooding with renewed warmth. Stepping closer to him cautiously, her hair rustled as she tucked it behind her ear.

“Matthew Murdock, right?” She asked, taking a seat on the stool next to Matt's hip.

“Who wants to know?” He asked with a cocky grin, tilting his head at her.

She giggled in response, her chin tipping towards her chest for a moment before she held out a clammy hand. “Shelby Norton. Um, I'm holding out my hand and I now realize you can't see that.”

With a soft laugh of his own, he held out his own hand. “I'm Matt. Nice to meet you, Shelby.” She clasped her small hand around his, shaking once before withdrawing her arm.

“Nice to meet you too. We had Torts together, last semester, I think.”

“Did we? I'm sorry, I'm not great with faces.” He joked, taking a step closer to her when she laughed.

“That's alright. I was always too shy to speak up, but I loved your comments on the cases we read. Especially when we discussed MacPherson.”

Matt felt his ego glow with pride. She'd clearly had her eyes on him for some time then. A slight blush crept up his neck and across his cheeks. “You're too sweet, thank you. Did your friends also force you to buy them a round?"

"Uh sort of," She snorted, twisting her hands around each other. "I'm trying to rush a sorority next month so a friend of mine invited me out to 'get to know' some of the girls. They told me freshmen had to pay."

"Mmm that's a shit deal." Matt sympathized, pouting a bit to express his distaste of the hazing. "I could split the cost with you, if it would help."

"Oh you don't have to do that!" Shelby protested, but Matt held up a hand and plastered on his most convincing smile.

"Well, how else would I be able to buy you a drink?" He slid the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip as she giggled in response. His heart was strumming in tandem with hers, arousal growing as he picked up the scent of hers being carried on the stale bar air. Slipping a bill from the stack on his pocket, he pressed them into her palm.

“That's really sweet of you, Matt. How can I repay you?" Shelby chuckled sweetly, perching on the edge of her seat as she traced his forearm with a single finger. As she drew a line over his skin, goosebumps rose in the wake of her touch. She didn’t have long nails, he realized when he could feel the warmth from the pad of her finger when she touched him. He could hear her heart beating just a tiny bit faster at the contact, making him smile minutely. Eager. He didn’t mind it.

“Do you always proposition people when they offer you drinks?” He teased, “If so, what would a beer get me?”

He heard the soft sound of her lips separating as she smiled at his joke, leaning in to brush her lips across the shell of his ear before she whispered breathily. “Forget the beer.” With that same finger that had run the length of his lower arm she turned his chin just a bit to better align their mouths, pecking him gently on the lips to test the waters.

He took the bait, molding his mouth to hers with a soft sigh, near-empty beer bottle forgotten- somewhere? He didn’t care enough to worry where he’d left it, prepared to lose himself in the warm body currently wrapping a toned leg around his calf.

“Is your roommate here with you?” Shelby murmured against his mouth, stroking her other hand down the front of his threadbare shirt to the button on his worn-out jeans.

“He’s not coming back later.” He reassured her, winding fingers through her hair to the back of her neck. “Something tells me he got lucky.”

“Not as lucky as you’re about to be.” She cooed, nipping lightly at his jawline.

“What about the group you came with? Won’t they miss you?” Matt asked, a bit breathlessly.

“Let them.” Shelby answered, tangling her fingers with his and tugging him towards the open door at the back of the bar.

"That was so good babe," Everett groaned, setting his fork down with a clink.

“It's boxed macaroni, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” You chided, laughing lightly as you plopped the cardboard container on top of the teetering stack of empty beer cans in the recycling bin. “Okay what are we watching?”

“I’m still kinda hungry.” Everett confessed with a knowing smirk, leaning towards you across the small couch as you took your seat.

“You want me to put another pot on?” You asked, moving to stand again to make more macaroni.

“Not exactly what I had in mind,” He growled, tugging you into his lap with one quick movement. Yelping in surprise, the sound quickly morphed into a pleased hum as his lips landed on yours.

“Ah, I see. This was your plan all along.” You murmured between heated pecks. “Praise my work in the kitchen so I'd take you to the bedroom.”

“This is a studio apartment, babe. This is the bedroom.” Everett noted, jerking his head towards the full bed in the other corner of the room. Sliding a large palm between your shoulder blades, he held you steady as you arched into his touch, smashing your lips to his again. His free hand roamed over your body, sliding over your thigh before gripping it gently. As his thumb continued to swipe from side to side, you sighed appreciatively, rocking your hips into his in response.

“So worked up already?” He laughed, bringing his mouth to your jawline and pressing a line of open-mouthed kisses towards your pulse point. “Slow down, babe. We've got all the time in the world.”

Anticipation fading slightly, you nodded, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Sorry.” You tried to push away the feeling of being scolded, especially with Ev’s hands being where they were. You wanted to enjoy this as much as he always seemed to.

Smiling with a small chuckle, Everett didn't answer, simply locking his lips with yours again.

Cupping her neck gently, Matt rested his forehead against hers—breaking their lips to allow her to come up for air.

“You doin' ok?” He panted, heat flaring in his gut as her soft hands continued to draw patterns over the skin of his waist despite his interruption.

Nodding against him, she gulped in a breath. “Oh yah.”

Smiling hungrily, Matt pulled her back to him once more. “Glad to hear it, beautiful.”

Touching his lips to hers once again, Matt relished in the feeling of her body responding to his; a simple kiss throwing her off balance enough that he was practically keeping her upright. Swiping his tongue over her bottom lip, he grinned into the kiss when she moaned in response.

Stumbling backwards until his calves touched his mattress, he planted himself on it, lifting her onto his lap without breaking the kiss. Her arms released his hips, flattening on the bed as she pressed her chest into his. Following her lead, Matt collapsed against the stack of pillows, threading his hand into her soft hair.

Unlatching her mouth from his, she grinned against his lips, taking a moment to catch her breath. “Sorry, I got winded.”

Chuckling, Matt rubbed his thumb over her scalp comfortingly. “That's alright. Take your time, sweetheart.”

Her rounded nails dragged down his chest as she admired him for a moment. “Wanna take this off?”

“Happy to.” Matt pulled the shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor as she did the same with hers.

Straightening his posture as the brisk air pummeled his exposed chest, Matt felt a smug grin creep onto his face as her heart rate spiked, her eyes trailing down toward the button of his jeans. “Like what you see?” He teased, trailing a finger over her arm and towards her jawline.

“Mmhmm.” She nearly whimpered, digging her fingers into his biceps as she dove into him for another heated kiss. “You're gorgeous, Matt.”

He chuckled into her mouth, tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth as he cupped one of her covered breasts. “Can I take this off?”

“Please.” She whined, fumbling with the button of his pants.

Tightening one fist around the bottom of the headboard, you rutted your hips further onto the head of Ev’s cock, hissing with pleasure as it stretched your cunt. He continued to slam his dick into you, the slow, delicate rhythm quickly boring your libido. The orgasm you craved began floating further and further from your desperate reach.

Moaning his name, you cupped his ass with your free hand, shoving his hips closer to your own. The twinge of wonderful pain made your vision flicker, and your optimism returned--only to be quickly snuffed out when the building hazy sensation receded once again.

“Fuck!” You cried out, gritting your teeth in frustration as the shaft of your boyfriend's cock pumped in and out of you. Digging your nails into his flesh, you dropped your hand from the headboard, trailing it over your stomach before running a finger over your own clit.

Your hips bucked with pleasure, a moan slipping through your parted lips.

“You close, sweetie?” Everett asked, between pants.

“Yah,” You nodded, drawing circles over your sensitive bud and grinning as orgasm once again descended upon you. Your pulse jumped, blood rushing from your heart towards your slick thighs. Pleasure began to crest over you, it's fantastic cloud slowly wafting up and—

With a ferocious movement, Everett slammed his cock into you, knocking your head into the bed frame with the force. Great. Bubble popped, you traced circles over your clit with renewed urgency as Everett began to moan.

Sliding his tongue back into her, Matt smiled against her entrance as Shelby arched her spine with a moan. Gripping her shuddering thighs with vigor, he pulled back, perching over her with a smirk. Her arousal clung to his nose and stubbled chin. Letting his hand drift back down to her thighs, he traced delicate swirls up and down them as she caught her breath.

“Fuck, Matt. That was—”

“Good?” He asked loftily, as if he couldn't read her body like a braille essay.

She chuckled, grabbing his neck and yanking him down for a kiss. Her tongue slid into his mouth readily, mixing the taste of stale alcohol with the arousal coating his tongue. Shifting one knee in between her legs, he hummed happily as she began grinding her hips over his leg.

Nudging her face with his own, he licked a stripe over her neck, kissing the tender skin there before sinking his teeth in carefully.

“Matt!” Shelby cried, hands grappling for his waist as he continued to bruise her neck.

Cupping one of her breasts in his hand, he circled her nipple with his thumb before dragging his fingertip over the stiff bud as she bucked her hips with a whimper. His stiff cock stretched the fabric of his boxers as the noises continued to fall from her lips without pause. Ridding himself of his final piece of clothing, he traced a finger through her dripping folds.

“You ready, sweetheart?”

“Yes, Matt, please!” She begged, heart pounding in her chest as she chased another orgasm. 

Readying his cock in front of her entrance, he slowly lowered his hips until the head was inside of her, giving her a moment to adjust to the stretch. Gasping in a breath, her hands—still grasping his waist—contracted, hauling him closer to her.

Smiling wildly, Matt rutted forward, groaning in pleasure as her walls squeezed his dick. She was quivering beneath him, whining his name as climax rapidly approached.  

“Oh fuck, yes. Yes!” Everett growled. 

He was close. And if you were planning on not faking your own climax, you needed to speed this process up.

Wetting your lips, you let your mind flood with images of Everett kissing you, marking your neck with his perfect teeth, tugging your hair—things he hadn't done since the first month or so of your relationship. The way droplets of sweat would creep down his torso after he worked out. The way he kissed you after you got an answer right in a tutoring session. Clasping your neck in his large palm as if you were the most precious thing in the world. Because you were. You were his girl.

Whimpering as your body leaned into the growing thrill, you bit your lip to keep from screaming as a voice echoed in your mind.

“That's it sweetheart, just like that. So good for me.” The familiar rumble was delectable, drawing you in like a moth to the flame. You moaned softly, keening upwards with desire. The voice hanging over you chuckled smugly. “You like when I praise you, hm?”

“Yes,” You responded, letting your eyes fly open as orgasm finally reached you. Hovering above you, was the source of the voice. Blank hazel eyes, customary devilish smirk, gorgeous dark hair—all staring back at you as you shook with orgasm.

Not Everett. 

Matt.

His low voice looped in your ears as you rode out your high. “So good for me, sweetheart. So good.” 

Letting your eyes flutter shut with a massive exhale, you sagged against the mattress as the muscular body on top of you went rigid. A different voice—Everett's voice—groaning with delight as he came. “Fuck, that's it! Yes, yes, yes!”

Opening your eyes again, your brain went blank. All you could do was lay there and heave in breaths, your body still sparking with the remnants of an electric climax. Everett planted a sloppy kiss on your mouth, collapsing against the mattress beside you.

“Damn, babe. Talk about an ego boost. I don't think I've ever heard you make sounds like that.”

Chuckling nervously, you tipped your head to grant him access as he pressed his rough lips against your pulse point. “Yah, yah it was good.”

Snorting, Everett tucked you against his side, your sweaty skin pulling slightly as it dragged against his. “That might've been the best I've ever had, seriously.”

“Yah, me too.” You murmured, reality and dread settling in your chest like dead weight.

Taglist: @eugene-emt-roe @abbyhaslongshorts @mrs-bellingham @abucketofweird @yeonalie @jadeunstablexx @spider-murdock @0ctober-writes @danzer8705 @mattmurdockstateofmind @supervoldejaygent @dorothleah @zomtart @marytheweefrenchie @cheshirecat484 @siampie @ignore-mp3 @silas-aeiou @rev-glut @screechingphantommaker @spiderstyles04 @paradox-brody-chase @msjb2002 @blue-devil-of-the-lord @pigeonmama @daisy-arien0 @yarrystyleeza

[lexithwrites]

moonwater but its (trans) regulus frist time

so in the moonwater fic i wanna write regulus is a virgin so i wont write an entire scene as fingers crossed i'll write it in that haha but i do have headcanons i wanna share okay okay (nsfw below):

regulus isn't really a dating person, like he has crushes and likes being the mysterious hot guy but he's too chicken shit to actually flirt with anybody lmao so he's never slept with anyone, only kissed people (mostly his friends aka mostly barty) at parties or for dares and stuff

remus on the other hand is the guy who wants to find the love of his life, he's a secret romantic and loves with his whole heart, but he's only dated maybe four people so far, so that's his experiance, he becomes a master at one person then has to relearn another and he just wants to be with one person forever ya know

i can picture them both talking about their experiances in the way of remus telling reg that he hasn't really been with someone that's wanted him to feel pleasure, like people tried but no one really bothered too hard compared to him who always put in 110% every time

reg wants that BAD

he wants someone obsessed with him, that makes him feel comfortable and wants him to want them back, he wants to touch and learn and taste and feel and he wants it with remus

so when they do eventually get together he's excited but then he's like oh fuck we're a couple i have to DO things he gets nervous

remus doesn't expect sex,,,,ever, he isn't asexual exactly but sex isn't that big of a deal to him, he's used to the other person wanting it more so he's just happy to be with reg whilst poor regulus is having a crisis over when they need to have sex

it starts slow, touching each other's skin and just exploring, they're sweet and giggly and just taking in the fact they're together and it's sparks flying and they've both never felt this kind of connection before

basically, not only are they deeply in love, but they are so desperatley horny for each other and neither of them know how to express it

remus makes the first move and knows reg is trans, he truly doesn't care because he's had experiance with both kinds of genitals, he just wants to make reg feel as good as possible, and the first time he goes down on him it's in his bed at night and regulus has to desperatley cover his mouth because it feels so fucking good he's shaking

like no amount of touching himself will compare to remus' tongue and fingers on and inside him like,,,it's pure ecstasy

and reg is addicted after that he's dragging remus off to the black family library to make out and grind against each other and he touches remus but remus is still really nervous about finally being touched but one night they're out in the garden and regulus asks if he can just jerk him off, blowing is a lot for him since he's never done it, and remus is a MESS bro he's had handjobs before but regulus is curious and watching his every reaction and using it to learn and remus cums so hard he almost passes out

once again, both become obsessed with touch

their actual first time is silly and sweet, they're alone for once, no family or friends to possibly walk in on them, and they take their fucking time

it's hours of foreplay and smiles and nervous breathes and then remus is putting a condom on and regulus is clenching his fists but remus kisses him so softly that he melts, he tells him they can stop at any time, that if it hurts they wont do it again until regulus is ready, and so he pushes in and of course it feels weird, it kinda hurts a little as the stretch is a lot, but then remus is moaning in his ear and kissing his neck and telling him how gorgeous he is in the moonlight and regulus starts to feel it

remus goes DEEP and thats what reg figures out he likes, not girth but depth (and he's correct) so he starts begging remus to go deeper and just rock inside him and he's hiccuping out these noises that drive remus insane

then reg gets confident and asks to go on top and they're both done for basically, it gets them both off from just staring into the others eyes and panting and moaning together and when they both cum they just laugh and smile together because all of those nerves for this amazing moment????

so fucking worth it

[snowchub]

Big fat love🍔

Lawrence and Dani are also students at University A, but their "love" story started back in high school. Their relationship wasn't great back then. Lawrence used to bully Dani; back then, Dani didn't weigh as much as he does now. He was a cute twink that everyone liked. He had an enviable figure and his beauty could charm anyone, except Lawrence. Lawrence was just annoyed by him. Every time he saw Dani, he felt irritated, and all he wanted was to humiliate him in front of everyone. So, whenever he got the chance, he'd trip him in the hallways, steal his lunch, or throw his stuff.

To everyone's surprise, Dani would just smile big at all this bullying. He'd had a crush on the redhead for a while, but never tried to talk to him because no one knew his orientation. No one had seen him with a guy or a girl, and many assumed he was asexual. So, Dani just forgot about having a relationship and was happy with the little time he spent with Lawrence, even if it meant getting hurt.

Lawrence got more and more frustrated seeing that goofy smile on Dani's face, like he enjoyed being bullied. He was fed up and had to find another way to break him. No matter what others thought, he took his obsession with humiliating Dani a step further. He changed his strategy and got closer to him. He faked an apology and, as a peace offering, gave him greasy food during breaks. He was determined to make that cute face everyone loved to disappear.

Dani's reaction to Lawrence’s apologies was positive. He happily accepted the food Lawrence bought him. He’d never reject a gift from someone he found cute. He even used the closeness to get to know him better. Whenever he saw Lawrence in the hallways, he was always alone. His expressions were cold and dry, and no one liked being around someone so unfriendly. But now that they were talking, Dani could learn more about the big, intimidating guy everyone feared.

Over time, they became comfortable with each other. Lawrence felt good being around Dani. He’d share when he was sad or angry, and when he was frustrated, Dani always found a way to calm him down. But by this point, many months had passed, and Dani’s weight had skyrocketed. His clothes barely fit, he couldn’t stand for long, walking or running tired him out, and his appetite tripled. Lawrence felt guilty for doing that to someone so kind who, despite being treated terribly, didn’t hesitate to forgive him. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt, especially because he found Dani more attractive now that he was fat and not when he was thin. His head was a mess.

Graduation day came. Dani now needed two chairs to sit comfortably. His suit and gown were custom-made because there wasn't a size that fit him. Lawrence was super nervous; that day he was going to confess to Dani what he had done. He couldn’t live with the guilt of hurting the sweetest person in the world.

The ceremony ended, and every time Dani tried to get close to Lawrence, he avoided him. When he had a chance to be away from everyone else, he took it, and they met under a big tree decorated with yellow lights. Dani was excited, hoping Lawrence would finally ask him to be his boyfriend.

But as soon as Dani heard Lawrence's confession, his smile vanished. He was confused. He had noticed he was getting fatter for months. Every week he gained 2 to 5 kilos, and his parents insisted a lot on dieting and exercising, but he didn't want to because he enjoyed those special moments with Lawrence when he bought him something delicious. He was in shock and felt tears streaming down his face. He felt humiliated; what Lawrence had wanted for so long had finally happened.

—Every time I looked in the mirror, I thought I looked cute for you even if others didn't like it, — Dani said, his nose red and eyes swollen. He felt like his heart had shattered completely. Lawrence, hearing this, didn’t hesitate to hold his face and make him look directly at him, and without hesitation, he replied:

—Dani, I never said otherwise… you're beautiful. I love watching you eat and adore that you get fatter each month. I like you a lot. You're the most adorable and sweet guy I've ever seen. I'm sorry I didn't notice it when you were thin.—

As expected, after those words, Dani was unsure. He had made such a big change in his body for Lawrence’s love that the best thing was to trust him. Luckily for both, from that moment until now, Lawrence has never stopped repeating how much he loves Dani. He still buys him greasy food during breaks, buys him new clothes but in smaller sizes, so his chubby body is always on display. He likes showing off his boyfriend and telling others that he's only his.

[dramazaur]

It’s a pride month and that means, its my time to do silly little headcanons

I also cant decide which fandom im in so sorry for the mess of me suddenly appearing and drawing to diffrent stuff. Oops. It will happen again. For now have my asexual Dante bc this man killed sex, he’s better then it. Not like his brother. Loser

[vasito-de-leche]

Do you have any specific queer headcannons of r1999 characters if so which ones and why?

I wrote a bunch of stuff for this post but then tumblr fucked me up and reloaded without saving it so here we are..... rewriting it all over again ... OAUGH. usually I default to seeing everyone as Vaguely Bisexual and Not Cis until stated otherwise, but you asked for specifics so here we go!

6 is aromantic or demiromantic.

On one hand, it's because I love projecting on my faves. On the other hand, it's because he genuinely doesn't feel like the type of person to be interested in relationships. But this isn't something that's tied to any potential disgust, repulsion or even trauma related to his Revelation and struggle against fate -- to me, 6 just doesn't feel romantic attraction. At the very least, nothing strong enough to consider pursuing. It's not in his priorities. I really dislike this specific thing that fandoms do in which every single character who is introverted, or who happens to be alone/isolated (either by chance or by choice) is secretly lonely, touch starved, pining and desperate for attention and romantic love. It feels like such a huge disrespect for their equally important platonic or familial relationships. 6 already holds a lot of love for his own community and his childhood friends, a type of affection that is shown in his subtle and unique ways. I like it when his character focuses on those aspects instead!

Mesmer Jr. is aromantic and asexual.

In her case, she's the opposite of 6. Mesmer Jr.'s trauma and OCD is much too intense for her to even consider the idea of an emotional or physical bond with anyone. She's disgusted at the idea of touching others so casually, and she's afraid at the possibility of allowing a person (someone she logically cannot have any control over) into her life because what if they throw her off her schedule? What if they mess every meticulous thing she's planned for herself and her mental stability? What if she loses her grip? Yes, it's plausible that she may find a partner who works perfectly with the way she needs things to be, and yes, you can headcanon that she heals and her OCD becomes "manageable" enough to have a stable relationship, but personally? I just like it when characters don't get to have stereotypical happy endings in which everything gets better through love and friendship and support -- like, yeah everyone loves to see their faves happy and all but eh... It's a bit of projection on my part! Some people don't get to heal and do all the things their disabilities prevented them from doing, even if we're given all this support and love. Some of us just have to find ways around these things, anything that works for us that makes our lives easier.

Sweetheart is queer but has a complex relationship with love. In a somewhat similar vein, Blonney has gone through every single letter of the LGTBQ+ community.

I tried my best to explain my thoughts on Sweetheart but at this point she deserves her own post because it's honestly a LOT, this single part was just too long so I cut it out entirely. Just trust me when I say she's queer and has a very complex relationship with love. In Blonney's case, we discussed the possibility of her being written as comphet and it got me to think a little about her. I see Blonney as the type of girl who presents as a straight bimbo, following the themes of her character and all, but who has constant crisis after crisis in the privacy of her bedroom, the only place she's allowed to be more than just a blondie. This constant journey questioning her orientations and gender happens entirely in her head and in private. I like to think that she just has these long monologues in her head. Sure, she's identified as straight her whole life, but maybe bisexual works better because there was that one girl she kept meeting under the bleachers. Oh, but maybe she's a lesbian, since all her boyfriends are just huge disappointments and none of them ever make her truly happy. Oh, but maybe that's just because she has bad taste in men, there was that one guy in class who keeps making her laugh after all. Ahh, this would be so much easier if she were a guy, her femininity is mostly performative after all. Ah, but she actually really loves pink and fashion... Nonbinary then? No, she's not the type to pick something so vague, it's one or the other. Oh, how about both? Genderfluid! Etc etc. If you ask her about how she identifies, she'll simply brush you off with a "What's it to you? That's none of your business, creep!" and move on, but this is something very personal to her. So far, she knows she likes being femme presenting and that she likes Jessica!

Eagle is a trans girl.

Have you guys seen those posts going around tumblr about how important it is that trans women exist because they fight for their own womanhood and girlhood in a world that constantly looks down upon feminine things and all women as a whole? Yeah. Yeah. Eagle being a scout that fights so hard to prove herself, the feelings of not belonging into the Boy Scouts and seeing how the Girl Scouts are created eventually, a space for her. The fact that she visits her father's grave so that he can see her grow up.

Kaalaa Baunaa, Oliver Fog, Medicine Pocket and Melania are probably bisexual, but they're super busy with work so they don't have time to address that.

Self-explanatory <3 I do like to think that Kaalaa and Medpoc are more chill about it, Kaalaa because she's a grown ass woman who is very mature, and Medpoc because they genuinely give no fucking shits about dating in general, so who cares about confirming whether they're bisexual or not. Oliver Fog is a little more flustered at the idea of exploring his orientation and whatnot, but it's tolerable. BUT MELANIA? I LOVE to think that she's FULLY aware that the MOMENT she acknowledges her bisexuality, she will have a crisis and then what will she do? She has 3 papers due next week and a heist this weekend, she can't possibly sit there wondering about liking girls! She's got things to do!

And here's the extra round of HCs that don't require that much text to explain or that lean towards being more silly!

Eternity has literally outlived the concept of gender. She/They royalty.

37 has QRPs instead. It Just Works. No one but herself and her partners understand the dynamics, though. As god intended <3

APPLe is a raging bisexual and has been spotted in many gay bars. Regulus is also bisexual.

The world would've been a better place if Bette was a butch lesbian.

Balloon Party and An-An Lee play with gender like its playdough.

Baby Blue is Not Cis and she's Not Straight either because none of that shit matters to her anymore, since she's been disconnected from reality and society for so long. She also doesn't care about labelling herself.

Diggers is trans, but no one can figure out which way exactly. It doesn't help that he refuses to clarify either. The same thing happens with John Titor, except she's very vocal about being a transwoman.

Bunny Bunny is bisexual but she hasn't realized this yet. In similar fashion, Horropedia is bisexual but he just forgets about it sometimes.

Druvis III as a trans woman goes hand in hand with Forget Me Not as a gay man. This is why they're both super divorced.

Leilani is pansexual because she prefers the colors of that specific flag over the bisexual one. Spathodea is pansexual because the personal distinction between pansexuality and bisexuality matters to her.

Tennant is bisexual because she can scam and seduce more people that way.

The Fool is nonbinary. Mf should've been born in the 2020's, I just KNOW he would've loved mirrorgender.

Zima is in the closet not out of shame but out of safety. Just in case.

Sotheby assumes that every girl in the world likes girls. So far no one has been able to prove her wrong because all she does is interact with other sapphic girls.

Pavia is nonbinary out of spite. But I also love transguy Pavia HCs so so so much, give that guy boobs, he would never get top surgery <3

Vertin is nonbinary too but she doesn't care about people knowing about it. She does, however, make the effort to be a little androgynous, as a treat for herself.

Madam Z and Katz absolutely had a Situationship going on during university. Katz was bicurious and Madam Z helped her experiment. Now the Situationship is between Madam Z and Constantine, the latter using Madam Z as a rebound after fumbling her relationship with Vertin's mother <- the machinations in my brain will astonish you.

TTT is genderfluid by virtue of being a picture on a TV, so I like to think she can just shift her appearance. In similar fashion, gender means nothing to Alien T and Voyager because they're aliens.

I specifically love the idea of all of the 1.2 gang joking about how Tooth Fairy is their token straight adult figure -- she's actually bi and asexual, but likes to keep that to herself so the kids can make their little jokes and have fun.

Enigma is gay and homophobic because his self-loathing is just that strong.

Turns out that the push Click needed to explore his own sexuality was getting killed on the battlefield, so now he's free to be gay. perhaps bicurious.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!