#asexual-mess-and-stuff

[breawycker]

Enid sniffing Wednesday repeatedly before proclaiming “you’re about to have a vision” then catching her before she hits the ground

Oooh I love this and her like growling at anyone who gets close to Wednesday when she's out. I've seen some angst-y art of Enid laying next to Wednesday worrying while Wednesday is in a vision and I just want to write something where Enid is just ready for her to wake up with some water because she knows that Wednesday's visions are often intense and having water and seeing Enid's face helps ground her. I like the idea of Enid's like inner wolf falling for Wednesday before her human self even realizes and then it hits her and she's like "oh wow 😳"

[howdoichooseablogname]

my thoughts on allonormativity and queerplatonic and my aseuxuality

i've probably mentioned this, but i am aromantic aegosexual

in my last post (about biromantic ace buck and aro allosexual eddie) i mentioned that i want that type of relationship. and i do

but, maybe it's the allonormativity speaking, but i want a platonic life partner. someone of whom i'm married to. i want a family with kids (possibly my own biological kids, or not idc). i want to share a life with someone

but i don't know where to go, how to find someone. society expects me to find someone to have a romantic and/or sexual relationship with. society thinks that i need it

in reality i don't need it. not everyone needs it. some people are harmed by it. alloromantic and allosexual people are harmed by it

i don't want to live in a world that looks at me and feels sad that i'm alone. even though i want to spend my life with someone, i'm not alone

even if i manage to find someone who wants the same as me. to share a house, different rooms, share a life, have a family, they'd look at us and see something that's not true. something that will make me uncomfortable

because the thought of romance, personally, makes me deeply uncomfortable. yes i read romantic books and fanfiction, but it is different. it's not me who's dealing with romance

and when people think i'm in love, that i have a romantic partner, i feel genuine disgust. once a doctor asked if i had a boyfriend and i genuinely cringed and literally said "ew" out loud (but that's a whole other topic)

i like queerplatonic because it lets me (and any potential partner) control the rules of the relationship. there is no expectation. it's just us. we make the boundaries that everyone needs, but few do

i just want to feel seen. i want something special that's just us.

but because we live in an allonormative society, i don't know how my family will take it. i don't know if my family will understand it. they know i'm ace, they know i don't want romance or sex. but will they understand that this person isn't a friend that this person isn't a romantic partner. but this person is my partner.

romance isn't above any other relationship. friendship isn't automatically bellow any other relationship in your life. it's only that way if you make it that. and society makes us believe that it should be that way

no

i don't want that

my friends mean a lot to me, and when they have their own relationships i hope i mean a lot to them. all relationships are equal until you decide to put one above the rest

i want a partner to share the rest of my life with, and i know i'm 25, and i have plenty of life left, but i still want someone to share it with. i want a marriage with kids, even though i tell my family otherwise. i don't think they'd understand what i want. they'd tease me about things that would make me uncomfortable

but it shouldn't matter what i do with anybody as long as we both know what we're doing and are okay with it. why cant society understand that???

[science-lings]

Just once I need a fake relationship trope that stays fake. Gimme two aspec people who team up to get married for insurance or tax benefits or family pressure and don’t fall in love while it’s going on. There’s no magical moment when they practice kissing or whatever. I want two friends to trust each other so much that they tie their lives together and they take advantage of the hyper-romantization of two people being emotionally close to one another. It would be fun.

[hells-greatestdad]

// useless rambling in tags abt mun's feelings on smut/spicy stuff in regards to my muses

[thursdayg1rl]

wish there was a way to make sure no one in this family ever says my name again

[angrycloudloud]

I wanted to write something today, but instead i spent all my afternoon and evening thinking that all the aroace community is going to cancel me if i write my two boys being the fucking toxic bitches that i want them to be.

Like, i can maybe have a pass with the redempt ex mercenary ace!Demi achilean souldier child boy who sees sex as a tool unless he has already fall in love.

But they are going to hate me for the aromantic young king using sex as a form of relieve stress and not actually seeing the connection with others in it, just a mean to an end. He is not heartless he just doesn't feel romantic atraction towards anyone, he has eyes he sees how some find him atractive and he gives them what they both want, at least what he can give them which is consent sex.

And they both have beef with each other. And the aro is pretty much the kind of guy the ace!demi usually falls for... And the ace!demi is the kind of person the aro wants close to them because ace!demi is intelligent, funny and once he stops trying to kill you he is kind of nice to have around, and usually knows how to read people better than aro does.

And they are toxic.

Very toxic.

Dragon poison toxic.

And that's why i think if i write them in a platonic weird queer toxic relationship my dearest aros and aces are going to ask for my head on a spear.

But that will happen after the first novel in which their only interaction is trying to kill each other at least twice. Like...

Yeah, i'll be laughing at home so hard if i write that, publish it and people ship them as enemies to lovers, because... boy, oh, boy!!! they aren't lovers they are worse than that.

[cloud-observer]

Even tho I get why some oeoole don't like it & there are in fact completely different colors I personally really love it!! It reminds me of a sunset/sunrise at the ocean (other technically everywhere at the water) & because this is something that always makes me really happy & I now can also associate with my identity, I really love the colors!!

Actually

[bradleysass]

sex - @rosekillermicrofic - wc: 682

"Favourite sex position. Go."

Barty’s voice cut through the quiet of the evening like a knife through softened butter—casual, abrupt, and entirely out of place as they lay tangled together on Evan's bed, limbs thrown lazily across each other, a half-empty bag of crisps between them and a muted documentary playing on the telly.

Evan blinked once. Then again. Slowly turned his head.

"You know I’m asexual."

Barty grinned, as if he was waiting for that. “Doesn’t mean you don’t have a favourite. Come on. Purely theoretical. Aesthetics, physics, moral superiority, whatever.”

Evan stared at him flatly. “You want to talk about moral superiority while half-naked and chewing on expired crisps?”

Barty didn’t even flinch. “Absolutely.”

There was a long silence.

Evan sighed, running a hand down his face, trying to decide whether to engage or throw a pillow at him. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.” Barty shrugged. “I just like watching your face when I say things that throw you off. You get all... twitchy and judgy. It’s hot.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I know,” Barty said cheerfully, popping a crisp into his mouth and offering Evan the bag like nothing had happened. “But seriously. Favourite?”

Evan took a crisp, chewed it slowly, and then said, “I think you’re confusing my disinterest in sex with a lack of imagination.”

“Oh?” Barty sat up a little, grinning wider. “So you have thought about it.”

Evan gave him a look. “Everyone’s thought about it. Even if just in passing. Doesn’t mean I want to do it.”

Barty quieted a bit at that, expression flickering into something softer. “I know.”

He did. And Evan appreciated that—appreciated him, even on days when Barty’s energy was like a buzzsaw to Evan’s calm. He always knew where the line was. He might skip rope on it, dance a little, test it, but he never crossed it without permission.

Evan leaned his head against Barty’s shoulder. “I like the idea of someone curled into someone’s lap. Close. Secure. Doesn’t even have to be sex. Just… that kind of positioning. Warm.”

Barty made a noise, somewhere between a hum and a sigh. “That’s kind of sweet.”

“Shut up.”

“No, I like it.” He bumped his shoulder lightly against Evan’s. “That makes sense. You always look happiest when I’m clinging to you like a barnacle.”

“You’re always clinging to me like a barnacle.”

“Because I like you.”

“Disgusting.”

Barty snorted. “What about spooning? That’s a classic.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “This isn’t build-a-kink-workshop, Barty. I’m not listing a menu.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll drop it.”

And he did. Just like that. He let the topic go, leaning back against the pillows and sliding a hand into Evan’s hair without asking, just the way Evan liked it—gentle, grounding. Comfort instead of chaos.

After a moment, Evan said, quietly, “Why’d you ask?”

Barty shrugged again, slower this time. “I dunno. I guess sometimes I worry I’m too much. Like… I’m always thinking about this stuff. Wanting it. You’re not. And I don’t want you to think I don’t love you exactly how you are.”

Evan blinked. He hadn’t expected that answer.

He turned to look at Barty, really look at him. The mess of his hair, the dark circles under his eyes, the way he was trying to act nonchalant but had that tightness around his mouth that always gave him away when he was feeling vulnerable.

“I don’t think that,” Evan said, firm. “I’ve never thought that.”

Barty looked at him.

“I know you want different things sometimes,” Evan continued. “And that’s okay. We talk about it. We figure it out. You never make me feel broken for being me.”

Barty reached up and touched Evan’s face, just briefly. “You’re not broken.”

“I know,” Evan said. And he did. He really, really did.

They were quiet for a while again, the documentary now long forgotten.

Finally, Barty whispered, “Okay, but if I had to choose, it’d be against a wall. You know, lifted—legs around, rough makeout, some biting—”

Evan shoved a pillow in his face.

Barty cackled underneath it.

[intuitive-revelations]

I've been waiting to post this for ages, so here it is (even if it's technically no longer Pride Month as intended, shut up, I'm not waiting another year)!

An unexhaustive list of moments across every incarnation in which the Doctor is very straight, very cis, very allo, and very gender-conforming. /s

Or in other words:

[ID: The astronaut "always has been" meme - One astronaut looks at caps of the Fourteenth Doctor talking about finding Newton hot and Fifteen kissing Rogue, saying "Wait...the Doctor's queer now?". A second astronaut behind points a pistol at the first, replying "Always has been."]

In all seriousness, I tried my best to capture as much as I could. It was a more a matter of running up against the limits of what I can squeeze into a Tumblr post than anything else. Even as it is, a lot of the clips are more compressed than I'd like, and Tumblr's downscaled GIF versions are messing up some of my transparent borders.

A lot of stuff is more subtextual and gradual (particularly in stuff like the EDAs), but I tried my best to represent these with particular moments where possible, without clogging the entire thing up with subtle writing and acting choices. There's also a lot more I could have added in regard to cross-gender regenerations, of course, but I avoided too many of these since they don't necessarily imply genderqueerness on an individual incarnation / actor basis. It would also mean giffing every second Thirteen, Fugitive etc. are on-screen.

Obviously, some of these are much more stretches than others (jokes, friendly kisses etc.), before anyone feels like they need to dispute them, but fall nicely into the pattern with everything else, so were included too.

Finally, if you've got something obvious I missed, feel free to add below!

A very long GIF ID and list of sources under the read more:

[ID: A series of gifs showing moments in which the Doctor potentially comes off as queer, trans, asexual, or gender non-conforming, or at least is part of a subtext that can be read as such, distributed in an extended rainbow pattern roughly based on the Progress pride flag. In order, row by row:

1. New Who - The Vanquishers - Thirteen remarks to Dan and Yaz about her duplicate: "I've got such a crush on her."

2. BF - The Sword of the Chevalier transcript:

ROSE: But is he-... she- DOCTOR: She is what ever she says she is. Who cares about gender anyway? It's an archaic concept. Right now, she's a woman.

3. New Who - The Vanquishers - A trapped Thirteen says to her duplicate, "Hi! Wow... you're cute!" The other Thirteen replies, "Thanks. So are you!"

4. BF - Seasons of Fear transcript:

CHARLEY: Another wonderful opportunity to wear a nice dress. DOCTOR: Wouldn't that be a bit conspicuous? CHARLEY: An opportunity for me.

5. BF - Seasons of Fear transcript:

DOCTOR: Are you confusing me with someone else? I'm not the one who says ‘you must obey me’. I don't meddle. And I'm not a glamorous woman at the moment.

6. New Who - The Sound of Drums - Ten on the phone with the Master begs, "Don't you see, all we've got is each other." The Master snarks back, "Are you asking me on a date?!"

7. EDA - The Scarlet Empress:

'You've got the Doctor all wrong. He's not a sexist pig like Gila.' 'He can't help what he is. His gender is alien, but intransigent. The cosmos is guided by male and female impulses - quite separate…' "That's crap!' Sam shouted."The Doctor isn't your average man, at all. I don't think he even has a gender. How can you - whoever you are - pontificate on what he's like? He's private. He's untouchable.'

8. New Who - The Fires of Pompeii - Ten sneaks into the Temple of Sybil. Seer Spurrina says, "No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sibyl." Ten shrugs and says, "Well, that's all right. Just us girls."

9. EDA - To the Slaughter:

'Yes, me!' The Doctor took Fitz's hand, kissed it delicately, then shoved him aside. 'Now, out of my way!'

10. New Who - Wishworld - Rogue on a TV screen, speaking from a hellish dimension, says "I miss you. Well... more than that. I love y-" before being interrupted by the signal breaking.

11. NSA - Engines of War:

Urgh,’ said Cinder, letting go of the Doctor’s hand and getting to her feet. ‘My leggings are soaked through.’ She helped the Doctor up. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I’m sure there’ll be something similar in one of the TARDIS’s wardrobes.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Fond of women’s clothes, are we?’ ‘Yes,’ he said, indicating his muddy trousers. ‘Clearly, I have a penchant.’

12. New Who - Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2 - Amy, fresh off trying to seduce him, points at Eleven and says "You are a bloke." He replies, "I'm the Doctor."

13. New Who - Wishworld - John Smith sits and talks about Rogue to Belinda. "There was a man on the TV... and I really liked him."

14. EDA - The Turing Test:

He glanced up. ‘I don’t recommend it, by the way.’ ‘You’ve tried?’ I asked dryly. ‘We – I –’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not something that interests me.’ ‘Sex?’ ‘Yes. It’s a missing piece in my life.’

15. New Who - The Power of Three - Rory kisses the Doctor thank you on the cheek as Amy looks on. Eleven reacts bashfully.

16. EDA - The Year of Intelligent Tigers:

‘Is this it?’ The Doctor let go of Karl. His gaze swept around the cool river, the sweet meadow, the silent trees. In the east the ringed moon was rising, silvering the deep blue of the sky. His eyes came back to the composer. ‘Is this home?’ Karl hoped so. But he didn’t say anything

17. New Who - The Church on Ruby Road - Fifteen and Ruby are tied up on the Goblin ship. He says, "Oh, but it's Lulubelle's birthday." He then says as an aside, "That's such a brilliant name! I wish I was called Lulubelle."

18. New Who - Time Crash - Five replies to Ten, "Oh no, really? Does he [the Master] still have that rubbish beard?" Ten: "No, no beard this time. Well... a wife."

19. EDA - Legacy of the Daleks:

‘I know better than to trust the word of any man ever again,’ ‘Don’t, trust the word of a Time Lord.’

20. New Who - The Church on Ruby Road - Fifteen gets his hands free. Ruby asks "Wait, how did you do that?". He replies, "I spent a long hot summer with Harry Houdini." to her pleasant surprise.

21. New Who - Spyfall Part Two - Thirteen announces herself to a crowd as "The Marvellous Apparating Man", before correcting herself, "(Lady) Apparating Lady! (Every time...)".

22. New Who - Rogue - Rogue asks Fifteen, "I think you and I should go outside." then walks off. Fifteen mutters "Fast mover..."

23. New Who - The Impossible Astronaut - Eleven calls out "Jefferson isn't a girl's name, it's not her name either." He turns to River, "Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton - River?" She replies, "Surnames of three of America's founding fathers." He then says, "Lovely fellas. Two of them fancied me."

24. EDA - The Turing Test:

I learned that Turing was in love with the Doctor, an excited, hopeless, sexual yet nonsexual, adoring, stupid, profound love that had turned his whole life upside down. ‘Do you think he feels anything for me?’ asked Turing.

25. New Who - The Shakespeare Code - Ten tells Martha and Shakespeare, "Come on, we can all have a good flirt later!" The latter replies, "Is that a promise, Doctor?"

26. New Who - The Interstellar Song Contest - Fifteen mentions, with regards to Graham Norton, "I met him at Brighton Pride. What a weekend!"

27. New Who - Human Nature - As Tim Latimer listens to the Doctor's fobwatch, he hears voices of different genders in the Doctor's essense.

28. New Who - Rogue - Rogue proposes to the Doctor, holding up a ring which Fifteen gently takes.

29. New Who - The Reality War - Kate, still under the wish's control, remarks "Mr Smith, what on Earth do you think you're wearing." He walks up to her in his skirt/kilt, responding, "The future!"

30. New Who - Utopia - Yana sat down, bends over Ten crouched in front of him and says, "Still, no rest for the wicked." As he stands, Ten smirks.

31. New Who - Wishworld - Under the wish, Ibrahim says to Fifteen, as John Smith, "She's way out of my league.", referring to Kate. Fifteen brushes his concerns off, saying, "Oh, she's not, you're a beautiful man!"

32. New Who - Wishworld - Continuing from 31, Ibrahim corners Fifteen, "You're a man. How can you find another man beautiful?"

33. BF - Afterlife:

DOCTOR: Tell this to your gods. When they punish you. When they stretch you on the neutron rack. I’m still here. LILY: But you…? You’re one.. little… man. DOCTOR:I am not a man. Not a human being. I am a complex space-time event. I am Lord President of Gallifrey. The Traveller from Beyond Time. I am the Sandman. The Oncoming Storm. I am the Ka Faraq Gatri. Destroyer of Worlds. And sometimes. Only sometimes, I am your worst nightmare. I am the Doctor. And I take care of my friends.

34. New Who - The Magician's Apprentice - Missy tells Clara that she's cared for the Doctor, "Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

35. Classic Who - Kinda - Panna says infront of Five, "No male can open the Box of Jhana without being driven out of his mind. It is well known. Unless. Is he an idiot?"

36. Titan - A Little Help from My Friends - Ryan says with regards to meeting Ten, "Still hard to believe that was you." Thirteen replies, "Biological sex is flexible among my people, and gender is merely a social construct." She smirks, "Quite simple, really."

37. Classic Who - Terror of the Autons - The Brigadier asks Three, with regards to the Master, "Think he'll turn up again, Doctor?" Three replies, "Hm, bound to." Jo notices, "You don't seem very worried about it." only for him to respond, smiling and raising his eyebrows, "I'm not. As a matter of fact, I'm rather looking forward to it."

38. Novelisation - Rose:

She’d listened to Clive’s stories. She’d read his files. She knew that every age had some sort of Doctor, whether young or old, male or female, in-between or neither, black or white or anything.

39. New Who - Let's Kill Hitler - Eleven tells Amy, Rory, and Mels, "I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were a bit shy."

40. Classic Who - The Time Monster - Jo listens to a telepathic message being broadcast by Three, under which can be heard whispers from voices of different genders, coming from the Doctor's subconscious.

41. New Who - The Eaters of Light - Twelve tells Bill, "I've lived in Roman Britain: governed, farmed, juggled. Speaking as a former vestal virgin, second-class, I can assure you-"

42. Torchwood - Fragments - Alice Guppy, interrogating Jack, quotes words overheard from him: "You wait until I see the Doctor. First I'm going to kiss him. Then I'm going to kill him."

43. New Who - Dot and Bubble - Ruby and Fifteen respectively reply to Lindy regarding running into Ricky September, "Oh, nice one!" and "He's hot." Then then snap at each other simultaneously, "Hands off!".

44. New Who - The Hungry Earth (deleted scene) - Eleven chats to Amy about Rory, "I like him." He then chuckles bashfully and adds, "A lot."

45. Classic Who - The Daemons - Three, tied up and about to be burnt alive is told, "If he's such a great magician, let's see him untie himself." Three responds, "You choose to mock the great Qui Quae Quod." Each of these words used in his 'wizard' name, is latin for "who", first masculine, then feminine, then gender-neutral.

46. New Who - Dot and Bubble - Continuing from 43, Fifteen compliments Ricky, "Clever as well..." Ricky shrugs, "Eh..." Ruby looks at Fifteen and says, "Okay, Heartstopper."

47. PDA - The Murder Game:

What are you playing at, dressed like that?' Ben wanted to know, to the Doctor's visible dismay. 'Don't you like it? I'm just helping out Mr Hornby with a slight gender imbalance. I got the wig from the TARDIS, but I think it works rather well with the outfit, don't you?' He brushed a stray hair from his face and grinned disarmingly. 'I had to improvise with the bustle though, using coat hangers.' He patted his wire-frame chest and looked comically startled as it dropped to his stomach. Polly laughed and assured him that he made a most convincing woman, as he struggled to adjust himself.

48. BF - The Wormery:

DOCTOR: Love. Huh. Wrote a treatise on the chromosomal origins of love once when | was a small boy. Proved categorically which gene began it, which enzymes carried it, which electrochemical receptors translated it. Took all the fun out of it. Got a rubbish grade too. My tutor told me I’d missed the point. It’s held no mystique for me since, so don’t talk to me about love.

49. Classic Who - The Daemons - Winstanley asks Three, "Are you one of these television chaps then?" Three replies "I am no sort of chap, sir." "Forgive me, but I thought. Well, the costume and the wig, you know?" Three, outraged, responds, "Wig?!"

50. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen flirtilly dances to "Can't Get You Out of My Head", mouthing the words at Rogue.

51. EDA - Interference: Book One:

‘Can I ask you something personal?’ he said. I.M. Foreman nodded. ‘I warn you, though. If it’s anything to do with how I got this body, the details are going to be messy. You’ve never been a woman, have you?’ ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever even been a man. That’s not what I was going to ask.

52. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen and Rogue kiss passionately.

53. BF - Archipelago:

DOCTOR: There was a lovely woman in Yorkshire, gave me chipsticks. And you should have seen the way that Lady MacBeth made eyes at me. But this me doesn't. Couldn't.

54. EDA - Dominion:

The Doctor stood up, a look of amazement on his face, and then to Fitz’s considerable surprise he bounded over, grabbed his head and planted a kiss squarely on his lips. ‘Oh, Fitz! Fitz, Fitz, Fitz! I’m so glad you’re alive!

55. New Who - The Eleventh Hour - Eleven asks Amy, "Your friend, what was his name? Not him [Rory], the good looking one?" Rory mutters, "Thanks", as Amy replies "Jeff." Rory responds "Oh... thanks!"

56, 57, 60, 61. New Who - Legend of the Sea Devils - Thrteen opens up to Yaz. "Dates are not something I really do, y'know. I mean I used to, have done, and if I was going to, believe me, it'd be with you. I think you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. Including my wife!" Yaz, surprised, responds, "Your what?" Thirteen continues, "Ah, wasn't going to mention that. I was a long time ago - I was a different man back then. But the point is, if it was going to be anyone... it'd be you."

58. EDA - Timeless:

‘They’re not Old Bill, Tommo,’ Jack said, sneering at her. ‘A potty-mouthed yank and a poof in a waistcoat.’ ‘Do you want to be on a charge of discrimination too?’ said the Doctor calmly, producing a notebook and pencil.

59. New Who - The Robot Revolution - Fifteen holds an x-ray blanket infront of himself, which registers his sex as "Unknown".

62. New Who - The Time of the Doctor - Clara tells Eleven on the phone, "I may have... accidentally invented a boyfriend." He replies, "Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android."

63. New Who - Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Eleven runs up to Rory, shouting, "Good thinking, Rory!" before planting a big kiss on his lips.

64. New Who - Day of the Moon - As Amy and Rory wake up in their body bags, Eleven runs over to Rory and kisses him on the head, checking if he's ok.

65. New Who - The Star Beast - Fourteen holds up his psychic paper to Shaun, citing a title as "Grandmaster of the Knowledge". Shaun points out, "That says 'Grandmistress'..." Fourteen looks at it, then groans at it, "Oh, catch up!"

66. New Who - Legend of the Sea Devils - Yaz and Thirteen stand in the TARDIS doorway at the bottom of the sea. Thirteen says "Not a bad date, am I?" When she realises she struck a nerve, she turns away. Yaz turns to her and says, "No."

67. EDA - Beltempest:

Because I'm a man and you're a woman?' 'Yes, actually.' The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 'But I'm not a man.' Sam opened her mouth to speak, then shut it again. He continued, 'I'm not even human. Not even close. Not unless you count the ears.' He wiggled them to make his point.

68. New Who - The Reality War - Thirteen, upon hearing Fifteen tell her "I love you" says "I should say that to Yaz!" Fifteen replies, "You never do. But she knows."

69. New Who - Lucky Day - Conrad asks Ruby about the Doctor, "Was he your boyfriend?" She chuckles, "No. God, no! If he was here, he'd be flirting with you."

70. New Who - Daleks in Manhatten - Martha tells Ten, "I'm so glad to see you." He replies, "Yeah, well, you can kiss me later." He then adds to Frank behind him, "You too, Frank, if you want."

71. New Who - The Power of the Doctor - Yaz and Thirteen, shortly before her regeneration, lick their ice creams as they watch the Earth from orbit ontop of the TARDIS.

72. Short Trip - The Feast of Seven… Eight (and Nine):

The Eighth had brought some mistletoe, And aimed for Seven, to Seven's woe: Ah! No! Rrurevolting! Ace! D'you mind? Try Six, he's more that way inclined.' ... I knew Puccini once,' sighed Eight, `He had the softest lips.' That's great, But stay away from me, you sissy,' Four looked cautious, Eight looked kissy. Three o'clock, the Queen appeared, The Third, all patriotic, cheered, But Eight, lips puckered, mistletoe handy, Went for the clown and got the dandy.

73. The Curse of Fatal Death - The newly regenerated COFD!Thirteen says to Emma, "Your mother's going to get a bit of a surprise at the wedding isn't she? Do you think we'll both wear white?"

74, 75. New Who - Closing Time - Distracting Craig, Eleven pulls him close and says, "...because I love you." "You love me?" Craig replies. "Yes, Craig. It's you. It's always been you." "Me?"

Eleven then puts his arms around him, leading Craig to ask, "Doctor, are you going to kiss me?" He replies, "Yes, Craig. Yes I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback."

76. New Who - The Parting of the Ways - Jack plants a goodbye kiss on Nine's lips.

77, 78. New Who - Eve of the Daleks - Dan confronts Thirteen about Yaz. "No, I mean, she 'likes' you." "I don't understand what you're saying, Dan." He then responds, "I think you do. But for some reason, you pretend to me and to her that you don't."

79. New Who - The Unquiet Dead (deleted scene):

SNEED: "I thought you'd be a woman" DOCTOR: "No, not yet"

80. New Who - Time Heist - As Psi goes to leave the TARDIS, Twelve makes a 'call me' sign at him.

81. BF - Swipe Right:

RIVER: Doctor, for someone so smart, you can be so stupid. 'Someone with no romantic feelings?' It's you! Much as it pains me to say it. Apparently, it's you. DOCTOR: It's me! Ha! Of course, it's me!

82. EDA - Eater of Wasps:

‘Have you remembered what you were doing in 1933 yet?’ asked Fitz. ‘I mean, the last time you were here?’ ‘Oh, yes,’ said the Doctor. ‘But I was a long way from here – I spent some time sailing the South Seas roundabout now.’ Fitz gaped. ‘A sailor? I don’t believe it. Go on, give us a jig!’ The Doctor laughed. ‘Not likely – but I’ll show you my tattoo if you’re lucky.’

83. New Who - Eve of the Daleks - Thirteen gazes lovingly at Yaz, as they watch the warehouse's fireworks explode.

84. VNA - Human Nature:

'We let it be known that he was in a position to give a Time Lord whatever form or mind they wanted. That's a particular dream of Gallifreyans, as I knew from wandering through that young Interventionist's mind.

They regenerate and find themselves to be much the same, and every now and then they dream how wonderful it would be to be able to fly or be of the opposite sex or have a child. That last is a very common dream, for children on Gallifrey are very rare.'

85. EDA - Parallel 59:

[The Doctor] whistled as he walked, Fitz’s plaintive little melody still in his head. Thinking of loved ones, coming home.

86. BF - The Vanity Box:

DOCTOR: Nesta, will you help me? I’ve got to get into that salon, under cover, and get a closer look. MEL: Doctor, | could go in instead of you. DOCTOR: | don’t think anyone would believe you need a make-over, Mel. And besides, | think it’s going to be chillingly dangerous. NESTA: Actually, | can manage a bourbon if | dunk it in me tea. I’ll freshen the pot. Now, tell me how | can help you, Doctor. I’m not happy about this poodle parlour on our doorstep. DOCTOR: | want you to drag me up.

87. Classic Who - The Chase - One tells Ian, "My dear boy, I could kiss you!" Barbara replies, "Don't waste it on him. Kiss me instead!" He responds, "Oh, I'd be delighted."

89. Classic Who - The Highlanders - Two, dressed up as a washerwoman, tells Perkins at gunpoint, "I tell you what we're going to do. We ladies are going to leave first, but you are going to sit here, quietly, comfortably, for another ten minutes."

90. Scream of the Shalka - The TARDIS's answering machine goes off. The Shalka Doctor says, breathlessly and giggling, "You've reached the good ship TARDIS. We're rather busy at the moment. Leave a message after the beep and we'll try and get back to you before your call." He then laughs "Stop that!" before the beep. The Shalka Master then notes, "We really should change that message."

91. EDA - Earthworld:

He helped Anji to take her blazer off – somehow it didn’t matter that the Doctor was seeing her like that, he seemed to count in her head as another girl – and gave her his velvet coat to replace it

92. Classic Who - The Highlanders - Two tells Grey, with regards to Jamie, "Did you mark the young Highlander who was with me? The piper?" "Piper?" "With the soft hands and face?"

93. Classic Who - The Enemy of the World - Two comments on Salamander, "He seems to be a public benefactor. Quite a speaker too, and remarkably handsome, didn't you think so Jamie?" He turns to Jamie, who nudges him smiling in response.

94. BF - The Eye of the Storm:

DOCTOR: I never kiss strange people. No matter how beautiful, how fascinating, how intriguing they might be. And you might very well be any of those things.

95. New Who - The End of Time: Part Two - Ten, tied up, gazes at the Master and says, "I wonder what I'd be... without you." The Master tears up listening to this.

96. Classic Who - The City of Death - Four tells Countess Scarlioni, "Oh, well... you're a beautiful woman, probably..."

97. EDA - The Turing Test:

I will say now, however, that I do not think Greene was right: the Doctor is not an angel, though he may not be a man, exactly, either. I desired him as a man, loved him as one, but my love did not blind me, nor make me religious!

98, 99. New Who - World Enough and Time - Twelve tells Bill of Missy, "She was my man crush!" "Wh- I'm sorry?" "Yeah... I think she was a man back then. I'm fairly sure I was too, it was a long time ago though."

When Bill asks about Time Lord gender, Twelve replies: "We're the most civilised civilisation in the universe! We're billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and its associated stereotypes."

100. New Who - First Night - River sees the dress hanging in the TARDIS for her, "The Dress is a little daring!" Eleven, in a white tuxedo, replies, "Yep, so I went for this instead."

101. New Who - Arachnids in the UK - Yaz's mum Najia asks Thirteen and Yaz, "Are you two seeing each other?" Yaz gives a confused look as Thirteen responds, "I don't think so... are we?"

102. New Who - Once Upon Time - Sonya tells Yaz she wants to get good at games so "[her crush's] gonna look me and think 'who's the sexy girl with the nimble fingers?'" Yaz retorts, "No human being is ever gonna look at you and think those words." As if on cue, Thirteen suddenly glitches into the scene in Sonya's place.

103. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen and Rogue dance together in the ballroom, in front of all the guests.

104. New Who - The Story and the Engine - Fifteen tells the Barber, "Anansi purposefully lost a bet to make me marry one of his daughters. I know the gods. You are not them." Meanwhile, Abena looks on.

105. New Who - The Story and the Engine - Jo Martin's Doctor tells Abena, "I was a fugitve back then. Anansi was wrong to offer that bet. And frankly, darling, I was busy in a different story."

106. Classic Who - The Green Death - Yates appraches Three, who is disguised as a cleaning woman and says, "...I like your handbag." Three, still in character, replies, "Do you? Well watch out I don't slosh you wish it." He pushes his bucket at Yates jokingly, then drops his voice, "Now where can we talk?"

107. NSA - Revenge of the Judoon:

"Lords, ladies and Doctors this way, please."

108. EDA - The Book of the Still:

'You go if you want. I must help him.' 'Fitz!' 'I've been engineered to love you, Carmodi. With the Doctor - it's the real thing.'

109. EDA - The Blue Angel:

Fitz swallowed hard. He was the one who was raving mad. He was in the midst of the most ridiculous danger, horse-riding down a mountainside, probably about to die and, in the final few minutes of his life, what was passing through his mind? Not the greatest, most fulfilling moments in this life - but a consideration of his chances of getting laid by Iris . . . and even of getting laid by the Doctor. What was it about Time Lords?

110. BF - 1963: The Assassination Games:

GILMORE: Uh, “man” is something of a misnomer. I think he’s best described as… an outsider.

111. New Who - The Star Beast - Donna and Fourteen, conclude, "Because the Doctor's male and female." Elsewhere, but connected through the metacrisis, Rose Noble finishes, "and neither, and more!"

112. New Who - Dinosaurs on a Spaceship - Eleven tells Solomon about the Schubert music he's playing, "Say hello to hands three and four! Schubert kept tickling me to try and put me off." He then smiles, "'Franz the Hands'. Oh, that takes me back."

113. New Who - Death in Heaven - Clara tells Twelve, "Go be a king or something." "Yeah... might do that." She then adds, "Or queen, y'know, whatever..." "Yeah, queen, that would be good too."

114. New Who - Rogue - Fifteen quietly puts on the ring Rogue proposed to him with.

115. IDW - Bodysnatched! - Eleven, swapped into Amy's body tells Rory while applying a bow tie, "I suppose it is more difficult for you - Time Lords don't really worry that much about what sex they are. Romana was a Time Lady and she was easily equal to me. Sometimes anyway, when she didn't use the dog. I'm a woman now. Women are cool."

116. New Who - Closing Time - Elven chats with a saleswoman, Val, who says, "I think you look ever so sweet: you and your partner [Craig] and the baby." He responds, "'Partner', yes I like it. Is it better than 'companion'?" She answers, "'Companion'... sounds old fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days."

117. New Who - Rogue - Seeing the TARDIS, Rogue opens his arms wide and says "I'm in love!" Fifteen reacts surprised, before Rogue adds, "With this machine." Fifteen then smirks.

118. IDW - Bodysnatched! - Rory, thinking Amy is still in Eleven's body, kisses him. Eleven steps back and says, "As passionate as that was, Rory, don't you think you should be kissing your wife, not me?" Amy says, "Oh no. Do it again. But do it... slower."

119. Classic Who - The Mutants - Sondergaard tells Three, "If you spend any time in there without [a radiation suit], Doctor, you will die. Any man would." Three retorts, "Any 'man', perhaps."

120. BF - An Eye for Murder:

DOCTOR: Oh don't think of me as a man. Just the Doctor.

121. BF - Deleted Scenes:

CELINE: [The Doctor] loves you [Jamie], dearly. As do I.

122. FASA Doctor Who RPG - A Sourcebook for Field Agents:

The Master

This entry contains information on one of Gallifrey's most dangerous enemies, the renegade Time Lord known as The Master. The Master has, in some fashion yet unknown, erased his Biodata entry from the APC Net. As a result, the only information about him that we now possess has been drawn from the memories of the Doctor. It is, therefore, highly subjective, and Time Lords consulting this section should be aware that The Doctor's perceptions do not always correspond with Reality.

Appearance: Height: Average Build: Average Looks: Sinfully attractive Apparent Age: Middle-aged Actual Age: 800+ Number Of Regenerations Used: 12 (now using stolen body) Recognition Handle: Satanic beard; piercing blue eyes; black dress; black gloves.

123. New Who - Smile - As Bill goes to eat her algae-based meal, Twelve wistfully tells her, "I met an emperor made of algae one. He fancied me..."

124. New Who - Wild Blue Yonder - Donna and Fourteen chat about bumping into Isaac Newton. She says, "Was it me... or was Isaac Newton hot?" He replies, "He was, wasn't he? He was SO hot." Fourteen then catches himself, "Oh? Is that who I am now?" Donna then replies, "Well it was never that far from the surface, mate. I always thought..."

125. BF - 1963: The Assassination Games:

DOCTOR: A man after my own heart. GILMORE: Except you’re not a man. DOCTOR: And I have two hearts.

126. TVC - Undercover - Three again disguises himself as a woman to obtain captured information for UNIT.

127. New Who - The Star Beast - Prompted by Rose, Fourteen asks Beep the Meep, "Are you he, or she, or they...?" The Meep responds, "My chosen pronoun is the definite article. I am always, 'the Meep'. He then replies, "Oh, I do that."

128. Titan - Ophiuchus - Nyssa says to Five, "I didn't know that Time Lords could change gender, Doctor." He returns, "Gender is a very fluid concept, Nyssa, for some people more than others. A Time Lord even more so."

129. New Who - The Doctor Dances - Rose tells Nine, "I thought Jack might like this dance." Nine dancing, replies, "I'm sure he would Rose. I'm absolutely certain. But who with?"

130. EDA - The Slow Empire:

Once, there was a man called the Doctor, although he was not precisely a man and that was not his real name.

131. Novelisation - The Day of the Doctor:

‘I’ve been around a bit, Clara, I’m probably married to lots of people, it happens,’ he said, and made a dismissive hand gesture, to suggest that the occasional marriage was really no more than a parking ticket, and a moment later heard a vase smash behind him. He really had to get his peripheral movements under control. ‘But to her, though?’ ‘Oh, to her, to him, to who-knows. Sometimes the conversation just gets out of control. I think I’m even married to Jack Harkness, but there were a lot of people in the room at the time, it was hard to keep track.

132. New Who - The Doctor Dances - Rose remarks about Jack, "And he's vanished into thin air. Why's it always the great-looking ones who do that?" Nine looks up, "I'm making an effort not to be insulted." She then specifies, "I mean... 'men'." He grins and nods, "Okay, thanks, that really helped."

133. NSA - The Good Doctor:

'Scan me again. I’m not loba or human. I’m not man or woman in the way you understand it.'

134. New Who - Boom Town: Jack and Nine flirt with eachother watching Mickey and Rose. Jack starts, "Aw, sweet, look at these two. How come I never get any of that?" Nine, fixing up the TARDIS replies, "Buy me a drink first." "Such hard work..." "But worth it."

[yourstrulynobody]

Since its pride month, I have an excuse to give my hcs abt the SAMS/LAES/EAPS casts sexualities + other stuff (these are all personal hcs, so its alright if you dont agree with them <3!!):

{ People here are: Samuel (my human au; human SAMSSun), SAMSSun, SAMSMoon, SAMS/EAPSEclipse, SAMS/LAESCosmos (formerly Lunar) aka the og squad <3 + mentions of SAMS/LAES Terra (formerly Earth), SAMS/MGAFSMonty, SAMS/LAES Solar and LAES/SAMSNebula :D!! }

~• (1.1) In my human au, Samuel is Aegromantic (enjoys the concept of romance, but doesnt wanna partake in any romantic relationship) and Asexual (feels little to no sexual feelings). Yes, I know its a human version of a canon show, but I have to create backstories of everyone so it makes sense and all, so I put a small hcs for Samuel (and for others, too) while mostly everything stays the same. :) /lh

~• (1.2) While my hc for SAMSSun is that hes Lithromantic (likes romance and gains romantic feelings, but those feelings fade the moment its reciprocated) which he'll never know since nobody likes him back (sorry Sun). I still hc that hes Asexual since, yk, robots.

—I also hc that, since Moon was build from scratch again, Moon's model is two inches taller than Sun's since Monty messed up the measuring lol.

~• (2) Not really an hc, but I feel so represented with SAMSMoon. Like fym theres a universe of one of my favorite characters out there that sees themselves the same way I do—Aroace (combination of Aromantic and Asexual; feels little to no romantic and sexual feelings) and Agender (does not identify with any specific gender)? I love him sm /motherly

—anyway, actual hc: Moon purposely sings badly just so he isnt asked to sing... but Sun knows Moon can sing well since Moon used to do so when he got control of he and Sun's formerly shared body, unknownly providing comfort. <3

~• (3) Eclipse is Aroace like Moon is, but its more of a: "romance is dead" rather than Moon's "Unless I find the right person" lol. (This differs from the "Eclipse's Eclipse Twins" AU where he is a straight asexual :3... srry for yapping abt this AU sm. I just love it :'3)

—Eclipse's model gets taller with each rebuild bc I think its funny that he used to be Sun and Moon's height until, like, he gets revived and hes suddenly 3 inches taller THEN hes 5 inches taller than his previous heightened height. Moon just goes: "My neck is cramping from this. Cant you kneel?", and Eclipse goes: "No."

~• (4) Cosmos initially thought they were Aromantic (feeling little to no romantic attraction) because they came from Moon, but when Gemini showed up, he realized he was Demiromantic (develops romantic attraction only after developing a deep bond with someone). He was in severe denial at first until he decided "Screw it" and got together with Gemini. <3

—Cosmos is StarTools (Solar x Nebula) wingman trust /silly. Idk, I just see Cosmos seeing Nebula eyeing Solar and vice versa, then he tells that to Terra so she can help Nebula while Lunar helps Solar—his helping, however, consists of a lot of teasing before he gives actual advice lmao.

Uhh... I dont usually share my hcs, so have this rare moment of me doing so ig??.. Kinda nervous since I try hard to not stray from canon :'3

(i also think i speak too meanly which is why I use tone indicators and emojis often :) )

[judeval]

Y'all I may have figured out the John x Bob x Yelena mess, but like, hear me out:

So like, first pairing is Bob and Yelena. Yelena is asexual, and after the years of drug addiction and performing one or more (more, many more) sexual favours to fuel that drug addiction, Bob is pretty sure he is too. So they get together, and it's small stuff like kissing, and movie dates, and the kind of comfortable domesticity that they've both craved their entire lives. It's nice and it's soft and between their messy and traumatic pasts and the messy and traumatic nature of their current work lives it's everything they need.

And then, a few months in, right around where they're starting to get serious and Alexei is finally starting to accept the fact that Bob is dating his little girl, Bob's sexual urges and needs come back in like, full force. Not occasionally, but in a way that is hypersexual. And he talks to his therapist (the one that he's been assigned by whoever is running this whole New Avengers/Thunderbolts show), who tells him that yes, this is normal. They tell him that his sexuality probably shut down after the trauma of the Void/Sentry/destroying the city of New York incident, that after all the emotional damage that the Sentry Project did to him, his body just shut off his libido until things were better, and that hypersexuality is normal for someone with the traumatic past that he has. So great, it's all great, except that his girlfriend that he's very much in love with and serious about is a sex repulsed asexual and has no interest in touching him.

In comes John, who has been whoring his way through the entire Island of Manhattan since the notoriety of being one of the New Avengers override all of the bad cred he got for killing that innocent guy. He has no interest in a romantic relationship because duh, he's still reeling from his wife leaving him with his son. So when, he hears Yelena fighting with Bob about the fact that she really does want him to find someone to help him manage his libido because jerking off as much as he does right now is not healthy, and John just fucking, volunteers. Because why not, he's bi and Bob's decently attractive and honestly, he needs to fuck less strangers so that he can avoid any more public embarrassment and STIs.

And so that's how it works for a bit, Bob as the hinge between a romantic primary and a sexual secondary. And Yelena's away for a while on an extended mission, and something more develops between Bob and John, and he feels really fucking bad about betraying Yelena like this, so he backs all the way off and basically shuts himself in his room until Yelena gets back.

Blah blah blah, Yelena fixes everything because she literally always does, and Bob and John go from purely sexual to romantic.

So yeah, polygamy. Bob x John coexisting with asexual Bob x Yelena, no Yelena x John because frankly, I think they'd kill each other.

[laceybarbedwire]

TW: child abuse, SA, racism

Okay, we need to talk about the whole "Yelena Belova is AroAce" thing.

This is not canon.

It is something Devin Grayson, and literally only Devin Grayson, has ever attempted to say about the character.

Why does this matter? Because if we have to take Devin Grayson's word as gospel on everything she's ever written, than her novel Inheritance (officially published by DC comics) means that Green Arrow is canonically a pedophile. In her Nightwing comics she was also fond of putting in 'easter eggs' implying Bruce/Dick or Slade/Dick. Indeed in an interview she proposed that Dick Grayson's sexuality and understanding of relationships was such a mess he tried to put the moves on Bruce.

Speaking of Nightwing, she made him part Romani, specifically because it would make him more 'exotic', and peppered the storyline where this was revealed with slurs and negative stereotypes. She also made him a serial cheater, but an unconscious one, declaring him to be too fixated on touch and too confused about relationships to understand what he's doing.

Devin Grayson is not a good person (it took her 10 years to actually admit that she'd had a villain rape Dick Grayson, insisting on calling it 'nonconsensual sex' and being 'quirky' and coy about it before 2014) and she is not a good writer, and if you're requiring me to take her saying in an interview that Yelena is asexual as gospel, you're requiring me to take a whole lot of really bad shit as gospel too.

Now, let me be 100% clear here. It is entirely fine for Yelena to be asexual. I am in no way trying to say that Devin Grayson saying Yelena is asexual is comparable to the terrible shit she did in DC Comics. And I know we desperately need more ace and aro representation in media. And yes, there probably is some aphobia in people's reactions to this talking point that seriously needs to be addressed. I bring up the Devin Grayson stuff not to try and draw a point of comparison between that horrible shit and Yelena being Ace, but to emphasize that Devin Grayson is not a writer anybody else who is writing comics or adjacent works takes seriously or considers to be canon. And to demonstrate that what a single writer says in an interview is not considered definitive about that character.

Shipping Yelena with Kate or Bob or whoever the fuck is not erasure. It's just a different headcanon.

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

I've been thinking a lot about where Maomao falls on the Ace spectrum. I think a person's own experience has a lot of influence on how someone interprets what kind of asexual she is. I'm not going to go so far as to say where she falls for certain, but I'd like to share a bit about myself and my experience to explain why I approach her character the way I do when writing my fic.

Fair warning, I'm about to talk about touch abuse in church settings.

I'm both demi & bi. I grew up a pastor's kid, & if you haven't grown up in churches you may not be aware of how big a role physical touch plays in that environment. My entire childhood I was expected to allow anyone to hug me or do other things like touch my shoulders/back/face etc... I was never a big fan of touch, but I had no say in the matter. I was not allowed to say no. There were men who took advantage of this & while nothing extremely terrible happened, I do qualify what happened as sexual harassment. I had no way to avoid this stuff happening, I couldn't tell anyone. If I had, I would've been treated as a liar & it would've had negative repercussions for my family. I was regularly reminded of the fact that if I messed up it could cost my dad his job. And yes, before you ask, my parents would not have been in my corner. At best, my mom would've told me she was sorry it happened and told me never to mention it again. I might've even been forced to go apologize to those who harmed me for somehow being a stumbling block and causing their behavior.

I don't like to be touched. I also take a long time to warm up & trust people. Most people who meet me intially find me to be very quiet & withdrawn. When my now-husband & I started dating I told him right away that I didn't like to be touched. We had to take any physical interactions (even hugs) very slow. I've gotten more comfortable with his touch over the last 11 years, but even now there are plenty of times that he'll hug or kiss me & my reaction is very similar to how Maomao typically reacts to Jinshi's touch. Quite a lot of the time I don't feel one way or another about him touching me. Sometimes I get really annoyed by it. Other times I'm ok with it.

Like I said earlier, I'm not going to try to nail down where Maomao lands on the Ace spectrum. I'm also not going to go so far as to say she's completely anti-touch. She's very young & has had a lot of trauma involving touch in her life. In the light novels it even comes up at one point that her big sisters put her through some courtesan training that made her cry. I do think it's interesting that once you get past LN5 Maomao does slowly start to seem to get more ok with Jinshi's touch. By LN12 she actually goes to him and they end up holding each other and falling asleep on the floor.

I do think if she'd been more open & honest with Jinshi from the get-go about her feelings regarding touch, we would've seen some very different behavior from him in that regard. But I also understand she likely felt she couldn't do that because of the extreme gap in rank that she's always hyper-aware of.

And again, I do think that the way each person interprets Maomao's asexuality is entirely dependent upon their own personal experience. I'm not looking to start any fights or anything. Trust me I don't have the energy to do that. I'm not about to tell someone else their interpretation is wrong or insist that they should have the same interpretation that I do. I think the beauty of Maomao is that whether you're pro or anti-jinmao, you can still enjoy & love her as a character.

[t3am-r0adk1ll]

i'm sooo curious ab your thoughts on bill after reading your other stuff.. it'd be cool to see an nsfw or romantic alphabet (whichever you'd prefer) I'd you take reqs for those, if not.. I'm really just curious ab your head cannons haha, obviously make 'em as weird as you see fit >:)

NSFW Alphabet with Bill!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

he'll probably only have sex with you if you've been an item for YEARS so he already cares for you; he'd give you a glass of water and tuck you in for a nap, most likely. or rewire your brain so you're not tired anymore. idk, depends on his mood.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

your insides. no, not your genitals/ass. your literal internal organs. to be fair, you should've expected that from him.

his fav body part from himself is probably his eye/mouth. he can do soooo many things to you with it, y'know?

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

HEAR ME OUTTT asexual reproduction. he doesn't produce cum. BUT he loves making you cum as many times as you can handle,and even beyond that. remember i told you he'd rewire your brain so you wouldn't feel as tired? he'll do that to his convenience. good luck :]

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

first thing that came to mind tbh is that he would love to open you up, as in cut your body open, and watch your organs move while he fucks you senseless. don't ask me why ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

you're not having normal, human sex with this guy. he'll do what comes to his mind. so don't worry about experience! who knows!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

grabbing your arms and legs with his tendrils and holding you up in the air like tha, all exposed and vulnerable. it's even better if you try to get away!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

this man is never serious. he WILL be degrading you by poking fun at you for how helpless you are and your reactions.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he's- he's a triangle. a literal geometric shape. wth do you think. (if he's in human form he has a bush and happy trail though- WHATTT WHO SAID THATT)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he doesn't like the vulnerability of being intimate. he doesn't even feel love like we do, so don't expect lovey dovey behavior from this guy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn't need to. but he watches you when you do it.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

idk if what he likes classifies as kinks... everything is messed up with this guy.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

your mindscape. everything is able to be bent at your and his will!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

the fact that you stay. no matter how much weird shit he shows you, you stay with him. he'll say stuff like "WOAH YOU MUST BE REALLY A FREAK TO LIKE THIS, HUH?" but it's just him letting you know he appreciates that you're around :]

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

cheesy/romantic stuff. in sex or in anything. big nono. he's never straight up admitting he has feelings for you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

definitely prefers giving. i hc him without a dick anyway (he uses his hands, tendril, and eye/mouth)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

either tortuously slow or brutally fast. no middle ground.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

sure! not his preference though. he likes long periods of torture much better.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

biggest risk i think would be him possessing you in public and making you masturbate in public/semi-publicly.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

to put it short, you're passed out by the time he's barely breaking a sweat.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

doesn't own any. won't use any unless you ask him to use them on you, and he still would be mean about it. wdym you need a vibrator? is his tonge not good enough?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

as stated before, your sessions are more similar to straight up torture than anything else. he's a natural tease but will show off with you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

the only sound he ever makes are mocking remarks or just grunts of enjoyment, not even necessarily pleasure. he just enjoys how youur body reacts to him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he may want to experiment in his human form with you without you necessarily having to ask him. it is probably because that way he can cum.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

(human form because otherwise he's just a fucking triangle) he's NOT a twink, he's a little curvy but more to the leaner side. intersex because why not, he wants the best of both worlds. BUSH KING!!!!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

unless he's frustrated or misses you (somehow, because he does not leave you alone EVER), he doesn't really need sex.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

you really think he sleeps at all?

goddamn i really need to write more often, this took momths to answer, i'm sorry. i hope you enjoyed!

[tourettesdog]

Hey there! I was just wondering, do you have any DP headcanons that you’d like to share? Any characters you like are good lmao

OOOOOOH boy do I!! owo

I have so many headcanons for this show omg. Just a bunch that I've picked up from reading fics, and chatting with friends, and thought up while planning out fics and prompts. Most of my headcanons center pretty heavily around Danny, since he is the blorbo™️, but I do have hcs for his friends, family, enemies, and more general ones.

This got very long, so it goes under the cut

Danny-focused hcs:

Danny doesn't need to eat much human food (and has a very reduced appetite) while in Amity Park or other ectoplasm-rich places, since his body naturally absorbs energy from ectoplasm. Though his friends and Jazz will still push him to eat even when he's not hungry, to keep his human body healthy. Whenever Danny's in places with less ectoplasm, his appetite returns with a vengeance.

Danny has an ice core and overheats easily in the summer, but in contrast handles winter months with ease. [Sometimes I like to do a reverse of this hc, where the ice core is helpful to him in the summer, but becomes detrimental to his human-side when it gets cold.]

Following the accident, lightning and other sources of raw electricity give Danny anxiety. I like to imagine that during storms he feels the static prickle on his skin.

Danny purrs when happy or content like a cat. In general, I like to imagine cores making all sorts of vibrations, hums, chirps, and other sounds.

Danny has no heartbeat in Phantom form, and doesn't need to breathe (but does so anyway out of habit). In contrast, his heartbeat and breaths per minute (as well as his core body temperature) are much lower than a standard human's.

Danny is trans and came out at a young age. Following the accident, the shock of the portal messed with his glands/hormones and he hasn't had a period since. He also hasn't grown since, with his height being stunted at around 5 foot. (In general, I like to HC that Danny takes after Maddie more in height, with Jazz getting all the tall genes from Jack.)

I like to imagine that Danny loses interest in becoming an astronaut after the accident. Existential dread + gaining the ability to explore a vast realm with many more interesting things in it will do that to a bastard.

I like to do Ghost King stuff with Danny sometimes, but I honestly prefer the idea that he just like has a claim to the throne, but in the same way that a king's 57 bastard children all would have a claim to his throne. (But the king isn't really gone anyway, so anyone with that claim is just sitting on a useless prince title while Pariah slumbers.)

I love the idea of ghost obsessions, and Danny specifically having one that is either focused around protection or helping. If the obsession is in regards to protection, I like to imagine it stems less from him thinking Sam and Tucker were in harms way when the portal went off, and more from him wishing someone would protect him/that he could protect himself.

I like to imagine that Danny (and all ghosts) won't outright fade if they fail to perform their obsession, however. I just imagine that it makes them extremely unhappy, anxious, and sickly. Danny, due to only being half-dead, has some more resilience with this too, I imagine.

I love giving Danny lasting scars, especially lichtenberg figures from the portal. I think it's particularly fun to have the scars wrap up his arm and across neck and/or face.

In addition to his scars, Danny experiences chronic pain and nerve issues in his arm associated with the accident.

I love the hc that Danny's wail is the same sort of scream he let out when he died in the portal.

In terms of orientation, I hc Danny as being asexual and then either biromantic or homoromantic, depending on what I'm feeling for the story. I both love the idea of him being biromantic, or him thinking for a long time that he had to like girls as a trans boy, before later accepting that he was gay. (I also love everlasting trio as a ship, so polyromantic is on the table too.)

Sam-focused hcs:

Sam gets a much better grip on her activism in late high school, after getting humbled a bit. This includes shifting her focus to supporting more sustainable forms of farming, rather than outright decrying the slaughter of animals. (I imagine she herself becomes a vegetarian after this, rather than a vegan.)

Sam was already on the fence about eating meat prior to the portal, but gave it up for good (and briefly became very belligerent about it), because she couldn't get the smell of the portal accident out of her nose. Cooked meat makes her feel sick for a very long time, especially pork.

I love hcs that Sam either dyes her hair and/or wears colored contacts.

Sam becomes rather liminal from being around Danny and the Zone, and retains some plant-based powers from Undergrowth. Overtime, Sam will start to develop a proto-core and have her senses altered by it.

Linked with the previous hc, I like to hc Sam as being prone to sensory overload, and this being exacerbated by an increase in her hearing following the portal.

As an adult, Sam funnels her passion for activism into journalism.

Tucker-focused hcs:

Tucker is hard-of-hearing and requires the use of hearing aids. Being reliant on technology from a young age helped kickstart his interest in it. Also, because of Tucker's disability, both Danny, Sam, Jazz, and eventually Val learn sign language to converse more easily with him.

Following the portal, Tucker is forced to modify his tech (and in particular his hearing aids) to interact more neutrally with ectoplasm.

I like to imagine that Tucker is very forceful with hitting on girls as, similar to Danny, he is fighting against some internalized homophobia. In terms of orientation, I imagine he is pansexual, with a preference for masculine individuals.

Like Sam, Tucker becomes rather liminal following the portal accident, and may develop tech-based powers. While Sam's ears are much more affected by liminality, Tucker instead experiences a dramatic shift in his vision.

Tucker might be an only child, but he comes from a very large, very supportive family that's all over various parts of the US.

Tucker has some food sensitivities, especially in regards to texture. He's definitely somewhere on the autism spectrum, alongside Danny and Jazz.

Tucker was the one to initiate friendship with both Danny and Sam. He met Danny when they were in preschool and insisted on being friends, and dragged Sam into their small group later on after meeting her in elementary-middle school when her family moved to Amity.

Tucker's eyes are brown or a dark hazel, rather than the teal they're depicted as in the show.

Val-focused hcs:

After getting ousted from her previous friend group, Valerie feels more comfortable with exploring some hobbies she previously didn't feel comfortable with around Paulina and Star. This includes video games, card collecting, and skateboarding.

Val's mother passed away when she was a very young child, and she has little to no memories of her.

Val's eyes are brown, rather than the green they're depicted as in the show.

Val becomes very liminal due to her suit-- much more liminal than both Tucker and Sam. By the time she's an adult, Val has a proto-core at the very least, and a sizeable grasp on controlling tech.

Valerie is bisexual, with a large preference for women that she doesn't explore until being ousted from her old friend group.

It isn't until college, when they've learned more about themselves and their internalized biases, that Val starts to reconnect with her old friends.

Jazz-focused hcs:

Jazz is much taller than Danny, and reaches over 6 foot tall by the time she stops growing.

Jazz is bisexual, and has known she is for a long time after helping Danny come out as trans and doing some of her own personal research.

I like to imagine that Jazz either becomes a child therapist or teacher after watching her little brother and his friends struggle in their formative years. Though I also really like the hc that Jazz, rather than Danny, becomes very interested in the technical and tinkering aspects of their parents' work.

I imagine around the end of HS that Jazz realizes she really shouldn't be psychoanalyzing and giving therapy to family and friends.

Jazz's driving is just as terrifying as Jack's, and her car is a beat-up old mess covered in dings and scratches.

Jazz likes to cook, but creates the biggest messes while doing so. In general, organized chaos is her MO.

Like Danny's friends, Jazz is rather liminal. She's less liminal than Val, though more so than Sam and Tuck, due to living directly over the portal. I imagine this comes with a heightened sense of emotion, as well as hearing.

I like to imagine that Jazz is just as, if not more nervous than Danny about him revealing his secret to their parents. To her, it feels similar to the danger of a trans kid coming out of the closet in a transphobic household, and while she'd like to believe their parents would accept Danny as a halfa, she's not willing to chance the risk while he's still dependent on them and they have not changed their tune on ghosts.

Jazz is so focused on helping Danny survive his teens that it isn't until she's like 25-30 that she really starts to unpack her own trauma.

General Amity and ghost hcs:

Amity Park is a bit colder than the surrounding region, due to the heavy presence of ghosts.

The ghosts have also altered the native wildlife. Many native species of animals have fled, or otherwise adjusted their behavior to account for ghostly neighbors. It's not uncommon to see ghostly ducks swimming alongside living ones, or feral groups of cats with some being more transparent than the rest.

Because of the Box Ghost, many residents in Amity Park start to get into the habit of unboxing their groceries as soon as possible. There's more than one spot where boxes can be left in a pile, and it's rare that they remain there for more than a day.

In general, I like to imagine that Amity really embraces the ghostliness, with some shops even taking it up as a theme. It's not uncommon to see Halloween decorations all year round, including ghosts with little Santa hats come Christmas.

Because of all of the ectoplasm in the air, technology has a habit of acting very strangely in Amity Park. Most advanced tech needs to be altered to work correctly within city limits.

Blob ghosts are very endearing, and more than one Amity Parker has one as a pet.

Okay, this got Very long so I'm gonna stop it here cause I could just Keep Going. Especially where stuff like the Far Frozen or crossovers are concerned, but those are for another time lol.

[infinitexdarkness]

Leon Kennedy Headcannons

(I'm imagining Re6, Infinite Darkness, and Death Island for this one)

SFW Headcannons!

He really really cares about his hair. He uses the whole works, pomade, mousse, texturizing powder, everything. He acts like he doesn’t care about it, but if someone messes up his hair, he’s really irritated since he spent so long on it to look nice and shiny…

He doesn’t care much about his body wash, but you won’t see him playing about his skin care. I think before re6, he doesn’t really care for his skincare, but in death island, he has a long ass routine. Sometimes, Sherry likes to put face masks on him, and he just tolerates it because he loves to see her happy. :)

His cologne is expensive. You smell him, and you feel broke already. But on missions, he’s borderline gross.. He smells like BO and blood, which at first isn’t too bad, but he slowly starts smelling more gross… In re4 I just KNOW he smells RANCID.

He doesn’t care much about fashion, but he definitely has really nice leather jackets. He cares a lot about them, and will take upwards of 10 to 20 minutes thinking about what leather jacket to wear with what cologne. After that though, he’ll throw on a random shirt with random pants and boots, he doesn’t really care about those as much.

He uses apple music, and listens to music like daughtry, shinedown, three days grace, linkin park etc. Of course, he’d also listen to more 80s music since he would’ve grown up during the 80s to 90s, but I think his favorite is divorced dad rock he can cry to when he’s drunk.

He has a photo of Ada in his phone that he looks at when he’s drunk, thinking sadly about what their lives could’ve been together if September 30th had never happened. If she never worked for Umbrella, if he was never in Raccoon City. If they had the chance to be normal.

I think Leon also has a photo of Sherry in his phone, though. I’d say his gallery has a total of maybe 15 images, since he doesn’t really have time to be on his phone much, due to his job and how busy he is. Sometimes, when he’s sad, or thinking of ending things, he thinks back to Sherry and looks at the photo, and decides not to, for her. 

I see soo many fanfics where he’s charismatic and stuff with women, but that is not true.. What happened to ‘Though generally a cool character, he tends to be awkward around women.’ I know the first time he ever got sexual with a woman, he was sweating so bad and could barely got off the edge of the bed, let alone touch her. xD

Leon DEFINITELY has a thing for older women, 100%. I think he feels an urge to protect anyone younger than him, so older definitely feels better, and less straining on him.

NSFW Headcannons!

He’s not cut, since he’s italian-american, and that’s not really common in Italy. I think it’d be about 5 ½ inches soft, 7 inches hard. It’s a tan color, a little darker than his regular skin color, and the tip is a rosy red color. There’s also prominent veins : )

He’s not a very big fan of biting, since it reminds him of zombies, but he likes leaving marks in other ways. Ways to show that you’re his, and his only. He leaves slight bruises on your hips from his grip, though not to hurt you. He also leaves hickeys, but again, no biting. 

He’s a grunter. He curses under his breath, and tries to be quiet, though when he’s worked up, he’ll bury his head in the crook of your neck, trying to muffle his moans. He also says a lot of ‘I love you’s during sex.

He prefers making love instead of ‘sex’. Hookups aren’t a big thing to him, since he’s used to people using him. He’s almost asexual fully, due to that idea. But once he meets someone he really likes, he’s attracted to them, because they’re them. 

He’s gentle, and is never rough, unless not on purpose. He’s slow in his movements, and soft, like you’re a piece of glass. He doesn’t wanna hurt you like he’s been hurt so many times in his life, he wants to show you how much he cares.