#because even if the worst is true

[dromaeotrash]

.

[corviiids]

i think ive been so enamoured with tragedy and unhappy endings recently because it's so common for us to take comfort in the idea that we're okay because we will be okay, you know, the whole "it'll be okay in the end and if it's not okay it's not the end" type thing, this desire to put our faith in things turning out eventually, and that's why people sometimes get upset if something doesn't have a happy ending that gives them closure. but i honestly think there's something equally or even more comforting in having to cope with the fact that in reality the happy ending can't always be counted on. in trying to accept that fact, you're sort of forced to find your comfort and meaning elsewhere, which is what tragedy is asking you to do. if you know a story is going to end badly, can you still invest in it? can you survive it for as long as you're asked to? because then you have to concede that the things that happen and the lessons you learn during the story still are meaningful and fulfilling even if they don't culminate. if the story is unfinished and the threads are loose and you don't get closure, can you still find a way to let this frustrating and unfinished experience mean something to you? you kind of have to. can you be okay with it if you aren't able to believe that things will be okay in the end? without looking forward, can you be okay right now

[littlefankingdom]

Me to myself: Don't send murder threats to DC comics writers, don't send murder threats to DC comics writers, don't send murder threats to DC comics writers...

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I used to despise Eridan and think he was the absolute worst character (barring Cronus ig) but you have shown me the light and completely turned my opinion around and now I think he is such an endearing little freak <3 I read your whole blog already but if you've got any more thoughts on eri or anyone else then I hope you post them bc I'd love to hear more abt it!

i have sooo many controversial opinions about the dancestors you have noooooo idea

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

[gingermintpepper]

In light of my recent Asclepius and Apollo musings, I feel like it's the perfect time to post this, actually.

How do you build a human being? 

Bold question. Foolish question. But a question it is all the same. 

The memory of his father’s consternated expression is still bright behind his eyes, that unusually furrowed brow, the tension in his gentle jaw. He didn’t falter in his setting of Asclepius’ broken shin, hands perpetually steady and sure, but he hesitated for a conspicuously long moment as though reluctant to give an answer. In this body, he resembled Orpheus something fierce. The same flaxen curls of his hair, the same delicate eyelashes that stand stark against the dark brown of his skin. Often Asclepius wondered if his elder brother was nothing but a body built to suit their father’s preferences. The subtle wrinkle of skin around their eyes when they smiled was the same, and the steadiness of their hands, the soothing power of their presence. 

And Orpheus did not bleed like Asclepius did. The blood in Asclepius’ veins were as red as any human’s, any mortal’s, but Orpheus seemed not to bleed at all. Even when he’d suffered the same fall down the crumbling cliff as Asclepius had. Even when his skirts had ripped and jagged stone sliced into his shanks. 

Even so, Orpheus was unmistakably alive. His eyes were rich with grief fresher than any blood spilt from the worst of Asclepius’ wounds, his counsel too, was tempered with the wisdom of a life well lived. So even at the apex of his most perfect, inhuman beauty, Asclepius never once doubted that his brother was a human being. Just that he was more divine construct than flesh and blood. Just that their father had built for himself a son that would not break as easily as all the others. 

His father stayed silent for so long that Asclepius assumed it would be one of the million questions that would go unanswered. Then, just when the last of his bandages had been wrapped - 

“A human body is easy to build,” he’d had that faraway look on his face as he spoke, like he was speaking to the horizon. Or a version of Asclepius that was not quite here. Such things happened from time to time. “Any flesh would do. From men, or animals, or even monsters. Any flesh would do.” Their gazes had locked then, and Asclepius would never forget the flecks of gold which swirled in his father’s blue eyes, the weight of divine words rattling at the boundaries of their mortal apparatus, “But the breath of life, a living soul? That is beyond your means as a mortal man. You ought never seek it.” 

(Asclepius would remember these words when he revives a man for the first time at the age of nineteen. He’s surprised to find that his father is wrong for once. Souls are easy to source when they’re already eager to return to their mound of flesh.) 

[novelconcepts]

Do you ever just lay awake at night, turning over in your head the stark difference in delivery between Hewson's Van saying--steadily, unshakably--"it's just something that's happening to you...happening to us" and Cypress' Taissa saying--imploringly, whiningly--"this was not just my dream, this was our dream"?

Do you ever just turn it over and over, how often Tai tried to scare Van away, and how it only made Van set her feet more firmly? How Taissa's first love was this person who saw a problem fall into Taissa's lap, a problem that was quite literally trapped inside Taissa's body, and decided unflinchingly: No, that's an us problem now? How she refused point-blank to walk away even with blood in her mouth, how she flatly informed Tai "I'm never gonna be scared of you", and promptly turned a moment of pain into a declaration of love? And how this would etch itself into Taissa for the rest of her life? How she'd take these things that worked with Van--with the person Van was, with the bond they shared--and try so hard to run through an identical script with Simone?

Except Simone is her own person. A completely different kind of person. A person who hasn't been offered any of the context, any of the realities going on inside Taissa. So: naturally she doesn't respond the way Van did at eighteen--and will go on to do all over again in her forties. Naturally, she hears our dream as the excuse it is, not as a plea for connection. Naturally, she is scared away when Taissa pushes, and shouts, and begs. Because there isn't blood in her mouth, not yet, but there will be. And they have a son to worry about. And she isn't eighteen and a special kind of immortal, a special kind of romanticized. She's a grown woman with responsibilities, with priorities, with an understanding that you can't fix someone just because you love them. And Tai can't just perform a revival of the play she and Van had memorized twenty-five years later with a whole new performer in the works, and expect it to shake out the same.

Of course it doesn't work. But look at Taissa trying it. Look at Taissa trying to reframe her first love through a new lens. Trying to recast it. Trying to play it through again. Van taught her love was sticking out the blood, shaking off the pain, making a you problem into an us problem. Does it ever just eat at you, how tragic it is, watching Taissa try to shape her marriage around a woman who isn't even wearing a ring?

[magnusbae]

Never in my life did I watch something quite as ridiculous, pointless, without any coherent sense of direction or self as The Acolyte. Start to finish it created its own 'threats' and 'issues' to artificially stimulate a plot that never had a single point to be made. What on earth were they thinking? Nothing in this series follows its own internal logic. The character motivations are all over the place and often simply contradict themselves within the same episode. The intrigue and the foreshadowing all come to a null when the reveals literally are not in par with what was implied and just generally--- what on earth? You cannot say I did not come open minded. Watched all the episodes, given it grace and opportunity time and time again to prove itself but--- no, no it's actually just the worst tv show I've ever seen, and that's a serious claim as I watched quite a few bad ones I enjoyed more than I did this one. Don't even get me started on how fundamentally lacking they are in understanding what the Jedi are and who they are as an entity, there was no idea of the self or the values or even codes of the Jedi in this show. Something that could have been such a wonderful and intriguing show, with visuals we all were craving (Jedi Temple) it ended up being below mid-show, shot almost in its whole entirety on a planet that looks 100% like earth with zero intriguing visuals or anything to justify the monstrous budget they had to burn through. Wow, kudos on creating something so empty of meaning I am not even angry after watching it, only baffled that someone actually wrote it and someone actually thought it was good enough to film. Damn.

[cringefail-clown]

AS SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN A JAKEHAL LOVER FOR YEARS (as evidenced by @dirkjakehal and @lomax) I AM SO DELIGHTED TO SEE SOMEONE TAKING IT TO THE MASSES.... thank you for doing gods work

these bitches got me in a chokehold and im making it everyone elses problem

[wonder-worker]

“Studies of Elizabeth Woodville […] have been hampered by the continuing fascination with her brother-in-law, Richard III. The Ricardian [and Yorkist] apologetic is now largely dependent upon the argument that the Woodville family posed such a threat to Richard of Gloucester, and the kingdom as a whole, that Gloucester had little option but to take the throne from his Woodville-dominated nephew. Although this argument has [irregularly] been contested, a reassessment of the queen's role in 1483 has not yet been attempted. Michael Bennett, in his 1987 account [...] still dismissed her as `an inveterate intriguer, capable in her vanity and fecklessness of some remarkable shifts and turns'. But more often she is scarcely mentioned in general histories of the period.”

-J.L. Laynesmith, “English Queenship 1445-1503” (thesis for the degree of DPhil in Medieval Studies, University of York, Centre for Medieval Studies, April 1999)

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Like how are they supposed to talk about this game??? They need to say it's bad?? They need a list of all it's flaws like some fucking Idiot on Tumblr giving a list of problematic elements of their favorite tv shows before starting to talk about it every time??? Of course they're saying it's good it literally means nothing YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID

[smoshingatut]

I'm kinda tired of dungeon meshi fans blatantly misinterpreting Kabru's goals, motivations, and character so they can ship him with Laios...like obviously it's awesome if you enjoy Laikabu but can you nooot twist Kabru's intentions for involving himself with the guy who constantly triggers his monster trauma and pisses him off so bad he gets brain damage so that he turns into "the guy who wants to suck Laios's dick" as his entire character? I've even seen people cut off Kabru's words to make it seem like he is admiring Laios because it would disrupt that narrative

[leclerrari]

[sharkneto]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit of a personal question - and feel free to ignore it if it is - but how did you know you wanted to start hrt? I am someone who IDs as transmasc and knows in an ideal world, I would've loved to have been born a guy. But the idea of going on hormones is terrifying because I can't figure out if I really want it... I worry about regretting it, or it making me 'unappealing' physically, or my friends judging me for it. Did you ever struggle with similar worries?

I think every person thinking about and starting HRT goes through this. A rite of passage, if you will, and also not a bad thing to do. HRT is a big step, some of the changes (especially on T) are irreversible. It's good to think through if it's a choice that's right for you or not.

That said, it's also Just A Thing You Can Do. I first started really questioning my gender at the end of 2020 (thank you, Elliot Page, for coming out and making me go "oh shit, you can do that?"). I got a therapist to talk about gender... Mid 2022? And started hormones spring 2023, top surgery a year later.

Before getting the therapist, I spent over a year Just Thinking About It. And a lot of the thoughts were around the changes on T and if I'd like them or not or if I'd regret them. If I'd be ugly, after being conventionally attractive as a woman.

It hits a point, though, where eventually you have to pull the plug one way or another. I spent a lot of time thinking about how my body would change on T. A Lot. With longing. I caught myself putting things off Until I Knew For Sure and because I didn't want to do it while being perceived as a woman. I was sitting, treading water for a hypothetical Later that I could start moving towards at any time. I was scared for the Teenage Round 2 phase, and didn't want to spend months being "ugly and awkward", but then the months passed anyway and I was still in the same spot.

HRT isn't an all-or-nothing thing, you can ease into it on a low dose. My doctor started me on a low dose and we ramped up over months. Some T changes can start pretty quickly (voice dropping, bottom growth - this isn't true for everyone, but was true for me). If these changes excite you, make you feel good - great! Keep going! If they scare you, feel wrong - stop. Assess. Figure out what about it isn't right (a gender therapist for all of this process is a Huge Help). In early days if you stop T, the changes can revert, for the most part. But you can always stop at any time.

The bigger thing I actively worked to wrap my head around before starting HRT is - Who Cares If You're Wrong? What's right for you now might not be right for you later. The idea of detransitioning was scary to me, society has such a weird spotlight on it, the Right uses people who have detransitioned as props against transition. But it shouldn't matter. At the end of the day, if I do change my mind, I'll know myself better, and I don't think it's wrong to chase and find comfort in your own body.

A year+ on T, I've mostly made it through the ugly duck phase, I think. I was lucky, I didn't get bad acne or get too oily or anything (after having horrible acne in my first puberty). Most of what I dealt with was the chronic baby face, where I was getting read as male but a teenager - I'm almost 30 and a woman wanted to card me over a free T-shirt at a baseball game because it had beer logos on it. After some middle months of changes and going "oh my god what am I doing" and not feeling confident in how this was all going to turn out, I think of myself as relatively attractive and I think I'm just going to get more vain as my beard comes in. Some of that is physical, sure, but I think a significant amount of that is me feeling more confident in myself and liking the body I'm in more. I was never a selfie or picture person, now I am. I joke I'm like a budgie, always looking at myself if there's a reflective surface nearby. I'm more excited to exercise, I'm interested in lifting weights for the first time, I'm curious what my body on T can do and become. Keep your eyes on the pieces that are going well, the changes exciting you, and let the rest catch up.

My social circle helped a lot. I'm very lucky and blessed to have great friends and family, all of whom are supportive. If you don't have friends who are supportive of you, that are judging you for exploring yourself rather than lifting you up for it, it's a sign to expand the social circle and find ones that are. Family is harder, but that's a thing you have to navigate for yourself and find your own boundaries for.

So, there's no ~one moment~ where you're 100% certain that medical transition is right for you. It's a huge unknown and you're changing the body you've had your entire life. At some point, though, you just have to jump and see how it lands. Part of being alive is making mistakes and doing things you might regret.

That said, the regret rate for trans people is something like 3%. The regret rate for knee surgery is something like 20%. Trust yourself.

[i3utterflyeffect]

[who are you? You look like a stick figure I'd make, but I don't remember you.]

victim saw him type the words and couldn't tell if they wanted to laugh or cry, so they did both.

"Of course you don't remember me. I didn't even last for two minutes, you probably forgot all about me the very next day. I was never important, just a stupid toy to be discarded after you were done playing! I was an idiot for expecting anything else. I never mattered..."

victim began to break down in sobs and tried to run away, but didn't get very far before crashing into a tree. The other sticks stared at victim in, dumbfounded at their outburst. How did they know Alan? And what were they referring to? Just what did he do to them?

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WOOO \O/ <- in excruciating pain (/pos)

[ratatatastic]

"you had that kind of backpass that slipped past bobby and then a few moments later you scored" EROD. EROD SWEETIE. STOP LAUGHING. STOP IT. STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR SPOUSE TEAMMATE POOR MIKKSY IS SO RED. STOP IT. PLEASE CAN WE BE SERIOUS HES GONNA ERUPT YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE STOP BEING MEAN roddy you do such a piss poor job to hide your amusement as if your hand can cover that huge ass grin that streches from here to the damn pacific

you cannot block the sun with a single finger...do not hope that your hand masks THE WAY YOU ARE CHEESIN SIR.

mikksy nodding at the "backpass" like yes yes i did do that yeah it- it almost went it. yep. in the finals of the tournament for the hardest trophy to earn. yeah most mortifying moment of my life that will be talked about for the rest of the finals can we please- *succumbs to the mortfying ordeal of having to talk about it to media* yep.

erod keeps chuffing to himself that mikksy keeps glancing at him from the corner of his eye as he tries to focus on the english being said to him i know his ears started burning BAD THEYRE PRACTICALLY RADIATORS (ears so big they become thermoregulators i learned that in natgeo magazine once ☝️) RODDY YOURE SUCH A DISTRACTION BEHAVE. BE NICE.

you know mikksy isnt so big and scary when you have a tiny man next to him laughing at his misfortune as he turns the brightest red known to man that if he stood in the middle of an intersection cars would stop

"i was going...high and lows on that one shift that- well i tried to go d to d pass..." poor mikksy trying to explain his thought process but hes stumbling through it like is the room getting hotter? i think the room is getting hotter- yeah uh d to d pass um yeah is it normal to hear the pulsating in your ears or is that a medical issue i should be worried about- ah no thats just the embarrassment isnt it. ah. yeah that would do it.

and little miss chuckles next to him is not helping at all GIRL HES TRYING TO ANSWER STOP IT

school presentation esque dynamic here... when its your turn to talk but suddenly your bestie erupts into laughter because you opened your mouth and youre like shut up SHUT UP ITS NOT FUNNY. SHUT UP. so youre trudging through it because you need a good preformance grade and just SHUT UP.

"bobby was awake so it was good for us" YES HE WAS guys its okay mikksy was being silly doing a think fast exercise and bobby passed with flying colours we love when our d gives bobby his enrichment time its important to their health as a species

rushing to say "and then the rest was nice." you mean your goal mikksy you mean your AMAZING SNAPSHOT OF A GOAL THAT FIRED UP THE WHOLE TEAM??? THAT WAS NICE YEAH IM SURE IT WAS. im gonna shake him violently please PLEASE IT WAS SUCH A GOOD GOAL IM STILL FEELING THE HIGH OF IT COME ON also roddy looking over while mikksy shrugs off his goal like it was footnote and not a big deal like yeah its nice ig... that goofy grin that damn goofy grin...babe lets try to be a little subtle here...looking at him like he hung the moon and all the stars in the sky ffs

edmonton oilers @ florida panthers game 2 postgame interview | 6.10.24 (x)

and because i love mikksy heres one of the most embarrassing moments of his career forever immortalised you go big guy <3