#because even if you never did another form of art again (which isnt likely since the way we create tends to just transform)

[ottitty]

Its okay to let yourself fall out of love with art or a craft if its not bringing you enough joy to be worth sustaining. You're worth more than what you create, and that's not something you have to apologize for. Thats a lot of grief to handle sometimes too, so be gentle with yourself and remember to not let yourself get weighed down by other people's guilt.

You are not dead. Continue on.

[girlkisserr]

frosting infodump go (im lacking art ideas rn)

he was originally brought on with the Research Commission with the rest of the fifth fleet as a hunter since he was actually a pretty good hunter, and pretty much does normal hunter things like investigating stuff and taking down large monsters so the research can actually like happen

yea that was at least until he got his leg broken or something by a diablos and almost died immediately afterwards. its not to say he never sustained other injuries but a lot of them were somehow fortunately enough to not be super horrible even if some were still pretty major. (rib cracks fucking suck btw, he wouldnt want those again. dont get your chest crushed by an anjanath everyone)

since he couldnt walk he had to return back and have someone else handle it in his stead and spent the next while healing through that. rolled a nat1 on post traumatic arthritis and chronic pain upon ye! fuck your knee in particular idk. it sucked. he was annoyed and a little disappointed since it meant he might not be able to hunt anymore as he was still kind of still freshly healed at that point he gave it a bit more time. as he got better he started working lighter jobs again, mostly deliveries and nothing too labor intensive but eventually he got used to it even if he was still kind of annoyed he leg ouchie

he went out hunting anyway. he took the jobs again after being bored and yes he suffered the consequences always actually. (moving around is good but hes definitely pushed it way too much) and got forced into even less activity afterward because. knee hurt curse. something something emotional grief and accepting it eventually with some help he helped with forcing zorah magdaros out into the ocean (mostly manning a ballista) and then the months of whatever the hell happens between that and high rank in game idk

he got a cane, somewhere within that time frame after someone suggested it. nothing super fancy since he didnt really know what he'd want on it anyway. he also kind of psuedo retired as a hunter in favour of idk. becoming a quest handler instead, dipping a bit more into the research part or something and got assigned to another hunter (Odessa, who's owned by my friend @/thehappiestgolucky) and thry get to experience. the horrors. such as baby god (xeno jiiva)

he was both her quest handler and hunting partner in some form but he did a lot more monster tracking than actual fighting, also cooking for the road. his book is essentially just a giant hunter's journal with whatever information about monsters he gets and notes it down. at some point they all move to Seliana and he begins his winter hating arc

the cold made it a lot harder to ever do actual hunts and he'd retreat back to camp a lot more, heat packs were the most friend ever and for a solid while he actually made the mistake of staying in a little too long instead of trying to move around (but with the advice of that he felt a lot better) snow and ice however. mean to him. they got him an ice pick for his cane so he doesnt fall over

he does actually have at least one other cane with a wider base for more support, since all the locales reasonably are a little mean to him. forest is fine but mostly lays in tripping over a tree root or something. wildspire just tires him the hell out (and the sun means the metal part of his cane heats up and he Has absolutely accidentally touched it before) since the sand isnt the best place to walk

coral highlands is. its a lot of highland so hes been a lot more careful regarding it and rotton vale, while he didn't really want to go down there again. bones are tripping hazards and bones are spiky and sharp and theres also effluvium which honestly could not be good for any hunter to breathe in like that flatout. you are going to fuck up your lungs.

other random things. hes just kind of shy about his appearance in a way. even if most of the other hunters dont *seem* to judge him (they signed up for danger they know this is a possibility) the occasional pity glance or remarks are just. thanks! i guess! though it doesnt bother him as much anymore it does still a little bit. overall hes also kind of shy in the way of being seen like anywhere without most of his outfit on (the hot springs) not in a gender dysphoric kind of way, if anything he passes just fine but also theres the weird little fear of judgement

for the most part he had his own room living in Astera, not super fancy but it was cozy enough. in Seliana his lodging is bigger but still sort of a one floor cabin with everything he'd need. he doesn't use his cane while indoors but he likes having it within reach. also travelling. the line from rise where sometimes hunters go "oh sweet a chair/bench" is exactly what he mutters to himself every single time he finds somewhere to sit. most of it as a kind of joke but he needs it

he retired from the commission completely at some point at the age of roughly 18-19 and moved out to Kamura, bringing most of his old hunter gear and journals with him. and then. the horrors (the rampage)

the fact that he ends up meeting Odessa again anyway is kind of hilarious though

[kerykomo]

been having just a smidge of a hard time recently. (semi-vent post under the break, if you wish to read.)

i just got done with my university semester, technically end of my sophomore year, technically start of my freshman year? its complicated, i transferred. and despite spending all of it with the lovely light of my life, i don’t think i’d ever felt so lonely in my life, perhaps save for the pandemic. it was a different kind of lonely- not some longing for love or companionship- i had that already. i just didn’t make any friends of my own- i kind of got swept into a group that was my partner’s, and not my own. i didn’t bond with these people like my partner did, and i didn’t fit in with them really either. i enjoyed spending time with them and we got along well enough, and i have a lot of happy memories and funny videos to look back on now, but every time i went to hang out with them it was similar to trying to shove a puzzle peice where it didn’t belong. i was an outsider- literally, having transferred and moved from across the country- and i wasn’t used to the region or the demeanor of people from the area. and most of my classes had this same group in them- all being from the same major, go figure- but it didn’t give me many opportunities to branch out and interact with people aside from this group.

i felt like i was kinda floating on an ice sheet with these same people, and even though i didnt really like it on this platform, branching out to another one would take swimming through the freezing water.

only one person, maybe two of the roughly 8 of us were any form of inclusive or inviting to me, to my recollection. and we got along pretty good, but it just felt like every invitation to go hang out with the group was an inconvenience. like “oh we’re gonna go hang out, i guess we should invite komo to come along.” and there were some hangouts that didnt involve me, which i was fine with. again, i was an outsider they had known for maybe a month or two when they’d all known each other for the whole semester previous. im lucky my partner doubles as my best friend and we never mind hanging out with each other, because otherwise i think i wouldve just left mid-semester and went home. i did meet a few people on my own, but because i rarely saw them and they had little interest in hanging out outside of class, their status to me has remained more of “aquaintances” or classmates than actual friends.

secondary to the friend problem, it was recently brought to my attention by my partner that i pretty much have art block or art burnout all? the time?? and have for years??? so. im not sure what that says about my rickety roller-coaster of a mental state but i know it isnt good. i just brought up how i feel like i can’t draw most of the time, or when i want to what i make isnt satisfactory or doesnt look good. at first i thought it was just a style crisis- since i tend to have those pretty frequently and change up the way i draw or try something new cause i get bored of the last thing. but every now and then its like im blessed by the art gods and i can draw exactlly what i want the way i want to. it used to happen more frequently in previous years but its become less and less frequent now, no matter how much of my time dedicate to drawing.

im trying to refresh myself by drawing on paper more often but its still incredibly difficult to come up with anything or even want to draw most days. of course i want to- i have fun with it and i like drawing and its more often than not an outlet for me. but i just feel… stuck. similar to my friends, i dont like where i am and i want to leave it but im not going to like the process to get there and i might not like the outcome. some of its my own personal anxieties, i know, but its hard to move past those.

anyways, i just remembered yesterday that its mermay and i want to make at least a few pieces for the summer season. maybe thinking of the ocean will keep me going for a little longer.

until next time, i hope everyone takes care of themselves. remember to hydrate and drink water even if its not hot outside; your body still needs it. :)

if youve read to all the way down here, thanks for hearing out the problems of a rando on the internet. i appreciate you taking the time to do that.

[an-emovision]

❞𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦❞ - 𝕋𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝔸𝕞𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕜𝕚

~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ A/N: Hi! so uhhhh had this in my drafts, im gonna post it and pretend i like it because thats how i roll. I love tamaki so much please. again, art isnt mine, credits to the original artist (idk who it is, if you know then please tell me so i can give credit) neewayz enjoy! Trigger Warnings(s): Fluff(?)  ~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ ❞𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙❞ --------- You were a very outgoing person, very cheery and kind, always willing to talk to people and make friends. The almost exact opposite of Amajiki and yet he just couldn't seem to stop himself from falling for you. Every day he always found himself stealing glances of you in class, occasionally the two would lock eyes. You'd smile that brilliantly bright smile of yours and make Amajikis stomach do back flips and his heart flutter, he would always turn away before any further contact could be made. On one particular day Nejire had asked you to sit with the big three at lunch, to which you happily agreed to. Amajiki almost had a melt down when Nejire had told him, to which Mirio patted him on the back giving him a "you got this dude!" a grin, and a thumbs up. It made the poor boy feel...slightly better but as you approached them in the cafeteria Amajiki tried his best to keep himself together. Why did you have to be so attractive? how dare you, it was unfair really. He just couldn't take his eyes off you, confidence radiated from your form. Mirio once told him that if he waited to long that someone would steal you, Nejire agreed. You were after all one of the most popular students at UA, not only was your quirk amazing and your fighting skills godly but your looks where beyond words, Amajiki was painfully aware of these facts. "Hi guys!" You grinned and Tamaki almost fainted. "Glad you could join us!" Nejire smiled as she took you by the wrist and dragged you to their lunch table, you couldn't help but giggle at her excitement as she asked you a bunch of questions about you and your quirk. Most of the quirk questions she asked she most likely already knew the answer to, you four being in the same class and all. Nejire took a seat next to Mirio, across from you and Amajiki. "Soooo Y/N...Do you have a crush on anybody?" Nejire asked suddenly, making you choke on the tea you where sipping on. "I-I uh-" You tried to avoid looking at Nejires grinning features, she already knew the answer to her question. Of course you did and it was none other then the boy you where sitting next to, you didn't answer her question, simply coughed and continued to sip on your drink. She sucked her teeth, unsatisfied with your answer, if you could even call it that. Mirios eyes wandered to Nejire then to Tamaki who was silently eating his food, his face was beet red at how close you and him were, your shoulders where brushing against each other. Then Mirio looked at you, whos cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink as you tried to brush off the last conversation topic. He rolled his eyes and had to fight the urge to just blurt out that the two of you should date each other already. Soon the lunch bell rang and it was time to head back to class, Amajiki let out a soft sigh as the four of you started heading to your shared classroom, you and Nejire chatting about a show that she had starting watching recently. Mirio fell behind them a bit so he could walk beside Tamaki. "So, When are you gonna tell them?" He asked, knowing full well that it would take some sort of miracle to get Amajiki to confess to his crush of two years. The shorter gave a small shrug before slipping his hands into his pockets. "I-I don't know...Really i don't think i ever will. " He again let out a gentle, almost sad sigh "I dont think i'm good enough for them, they're so amazing." "Aw come on Tamaki! you're part of the big three!" Mirio gently nudged him with his elbow, to which Tamakjis eyes wandered to the opposite direction. "They think you're awesome" "Well yeah but they're right behind us on the list of top students" Amajiki informed him. It was true, you were almost part of the big three yourself but you ended up failing a test by 6 points and getting knocked to fourth. You didn't mind, you where pretty comfortable in your spot. "What're you guys talkin' about?" Nejire asked, walking backwards and looking at them with the same sweet smile she always had gracing her soft features. "How awesome Y/N is" Mirio patted Amajikis back, making him let out a soft hum. You tilted your head "Oh yeah? im honored." You smiled "You guys are way cooler then i am." Nejire giggled, Tamaki stiffened at her sudden question "So which of our quirks is your favorite, Y/N?" You hummed, tapping your chin for a moment. Tamaki expected you to say Nejires quirk seeing as you two have been friends since you both stepped into class 1-A in your 1st year at UA. "I think Amajikis quirk is the coolest" You smiled to him, Tamaki noticed and then you smiled it was as if your eyes where smiling to, his heart practically exploded, barely able to get out a 'thank you'. You giggled at his shyness, finding it adorable as always. Nejire couldn't help but giggle at the two of you, Mirios grin widened as he two watched you to. "Nice choice Y/N" Nejire smiled as she took you by the hand as you four made it to class, seeing as you and her sat next to each other she lead you to your seats, ready to take on the rest of your day you sat down as class began. As the end of the day rolled around you stretched as you made your way to the front of your dorm building. You had some homework to do as well as some studying, then you thought you could train a bit then- You had bumped into someone, not to hard it just startled you a bit as you where to deep in thought, planning out the rest of your day. You quickly bowed "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying atten-...Amajiki? what're you doing here?" You had bumped into Tamaki, not only that but he was standing in front of your dorm room. "O-Oh I uh- I-I" He stumbled harshly through his words, on top of that he was mumbling. You noticed a small piece of folded paper in his slightly trembling hands and smiled, just as you noticed it he stopped mumbling and actually spoke up a bit. "I-I just- I wanted t-to give this to you" he held out the slip of paper, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. You gently took the paper from him but before you could get another word out he scurried down the hall and disappeared around the corner. You watched him leave, letting out a small chuckle before unlocking your door and walking in, closing the door behind you with your foot and gently setting your school bag down. The day before, after class Mirio had suggested to Amajiki that he should write you a letter if he couldn't just out right tell you. "Like...A love letter?" Tamaki tilted his head. He didn't know how he felt about that, his writing skills weren't bad he just dreaded having to wait for your response, not only that but even considering rejection as a factor made him wanna puke. "Don't worry, i'm like 90% sure that even if they do reject you they'll be nice about it" Mirio gave a thumbs up as he finally convinced Amajiki to start on the letter that could make or break him. It was a huge deal, you were his first ever crush and he never thought in a million years he would be confessing to you. "They're nice about everything" Tamaki mumbled as he continued to write his letter. Miro chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Exactly, you have nothing to worry about." Tamaki wondered why he was so confident about this, maybe Mirio knew you would turn him down? Thinking about that being a possibility created a pit of nervousness in his stomach. Really it was the opposite, Mirio knew you would say yes, he was just excited to finally see his favorite ship finally become a couple. Back to the present you took a seat on your bed before unfolding the note and beginning to read it. Your eyes where wide as saucers when you finished reading it, the final sentence replaying in your mind at least a hundred times "Will you go out with me?"Butterflies invaded your stomach and your cheeks flushed, you decided to give him your answer tomorrow, wanting it to sink in that the boy you've had a crush on since the dawn of time liked you back. Amajiki was dying in his room as he awaited your answer, Mirio who had come over to study with him was laughing his ass off at the boys struggle. The next day you where standing in front of Amajikis dorm room with both Mirio and Nejire at your side, they had their phones out ready to take pictures of this momentous occasion. You took a deep breath before gently knocking on his door three times, it took him a moment or two before he opened the door, he immanently stiffened as he locked eyes with you. Bracing himself for rejection he waited for it but all he heard were the words he had been wanting to hear for the past two years "I like you to Amajiki" Nejire squealed and clapped as Mirio laughed "finally oh my god" Mirio said crossing his arms. Amajiki stood frozen, having to register what just happened, after coming to the conclusion that the love of his life did indeed just agree to date him he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and pulled you towards him by the wrist, placing his slightly quivering lips against your silky smooth ones. Nejire practically screamed as she took about a thousand pictures, Mirio looked away jokingly acting disgusted but he couldn't hold back his happiness for his friends, they found love and he was beyond proud of Amajiki for going through with his plan.   Your eyes where wide and your face was crimson by the time Amajiki pulled away. He started to apologize profusely as he realized what he just did, which resulted in you having to tell him it was fine over and over again. The two where walking together hand in hand as you made your way to class, as shy as he may be he still wanted everyone in the world and their mother know that you belonged to him now and nothing walking this Earth was going to change that. 

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[casualbatteryoperator]

lucid dreams | part one

Obi-Wan Kenobi X Reader [Soulmate AU]

synopsis: Dreaming has become a meeting place for two people destined for each other. They say you see everything related to your soulmate in your dreams, including your soulmate. Surely meeting someone you’re destined to be with wouldn’t be difficult, right? Wrong. For you, it’s impossible. Sometimes you think your dreams are mere compensations for not having a soulmate.

warnings for this chapter: mild swearing

word count: 1,153

He has a unique and, admittedly, odd name: Obi-Wan Kenobi. Charming with his auburn hair, neatly pushed to one side, eyes resembling a clear blue sky on a summer day, his accent thick and melodious, and a well groomed beard—not too long, but not short enough to be a stubble—he looked attractive under the dimly lit void of dreamland. He captivated you with every bit of his presence ever since the first time you talked. 

You wish to learn more about this man. Usually, you’d work day and night for some commissions which meant, no sleep; sometimes, it’s him who doesn’t show up. It was conflict on schedule and you knew little of him. Coruscant was one thing, he said he lived there. Did you believe him? No. You looked it up right away when you woke; no place or planet like that ever existed. And you swore to talk to him about it, but the time never came. 

You hoped for tonight to be different. You covered up you paints, cleaned your brushes, and left your studio downstairs to go up to your room. Vincent was already sleeping in the new bed you bought for him. Crawling in yours, with your tired eyes and aching back from your awful desk set up, you sank in the soft mattress and drifted off to sleep. 

The void was filling up, but you pay no attention to it. He was there and, as per usual, keeping safe distance from you. “Obi-Wan.” You greeted him, walking closer to the man. “Hello, y/n.” He smiled. “We haven’t talked in a while.” You said sheepishly. “You’ve been busy.” “I’m sure you have as well.” You notice the floating window again, Coruscant. “Tell me more about where you come from.”  “I’m from Stewjon. I do not remember much about my home, I was taken away at a very young age.” He explained. “No, I meant Coruscant. I think you’re lying to me.” You accused, “Why would I lie about any of that?” “Because it doesn’t exist! I’m sure the same goes for ‘Stewjon.’” You emphasized on the name. “Your planet does not exist. You’re telling me you live a non-existent planet, Obi-Wan. No human can live in another planet.” “I assure you, many of us are in different planets.” He said, crossing his arms. “Your archives must be incomplete.” You roll your eyes at him. “How am I supposed to get to know you, if you won’t even tell me where you’re truly from?” You raised a brow at the man. “I’m not lying to you about Coruscant or Stewjon, yet you refuse to believe me.” He said. “I suggest we talk about what we’re seeing.” So, he’s a negotiator. You thought, proceeding to ask him what he sees. “I see you’re well acquainted with art.” He said, walking around the void, admiring things you cannot see. “It’s my job. You like to read?” You asked, remembering the floating books. “I do,” Obi-Wan smiled. “I see you do too. And... you live in an awfully crowded city.” He scrunched his nose. “That’s New York.” You sighed. “I read on my free time or when I need to spark up an inspiration for an art piece.” “You must be very talented.” He replied. “Thank you. Do you like Sci-Fi?”  “What’s that?” He turned his attention, from whatever it is he was looking at, to you. “Well, I keep seeing laser swords and spaceships.” You picked one up, examining the object that held no weight. “You probably can’t see it, but I’m holding one right now. It’s fascinating.” An amazed laugh escaped your lips. Obi-Wan couldn’t see what you were holding, but he could see the blue light illuminating your face. “It’s called a lightsaber.” He said nonchalantly. “You should be careful, it’s a dangerous weapon to yield, not to mention it’s weight.”

“It’s light as a feather.” You said. “You can’t feel anything physical here in Dreamland.” Obi-Wan’s lips formed into an ‘o.’ “Yeah, it’s cool right? My parents told me about it. Their dreams were always my favorite bedtime story.”

You and Obi-Wan wandered around the void, naming all the things you see and providing each other with information. He asked you if you liked animals when he saw Vincent’s collar. You asked him if he made robots or owned any, because you saw a golden human-like robot and a robot with blue details. “That’s C-3PO and R2.” He said. “Do you own them?” You asked him. “No, a good friend of mine does.”  “I really think you like Sci-Fi.” You chuckled. “And I still have no idea what you’re talking about, darling.” You blushed at the pet name, quickly dusting it off with a question, “Are you, perhaps, an astronaut?” This caught his attention, turning his head to you, a confused look in his face, “Definitely not. I’m completely human.”  “Very funny, Kenobi. I meant to ask about your career.” But before Obi-Wan could say anything, a vortex pulls you in.

Darkness. That only meant that your time was over. A few hours came and when the rays of sunshine hit your eyes, you reached for your journal without hesitation. You list down everything that happened in your dream. “He doesn’t like Sci-Fi.” You chuckled lowly, shaking your head. Looking at the gray cat bed in the corner of your room, you notice Vincent still asleep. Good. You smiled. At least you could finish something this morning without any distractions. Or so you thought.  Your mind was filled with images of him. You thought of his perfectly swooped hair, dreamy eyes, and charming personality. Your cheek heats up upon realization. Before you knew it, your hand scribbled a picture of him on the paper in front of you. A rough sketch of your soulmate. You wondered if it was worth showing your friend. You put the sketch aside and worked on rough ideas for a commission. But your mind couldn’t let go of this man.  You managed to finish a few pieces by noon, just the right time for lunch. Walking to the small kitchen, you opened your magnet-filed fridge and grabbed your leftovers from last night, you also grabbed a can of cat food from the cupboard under the sink. You hear the bell on your cat’s collar ringing. You smile as you see Vincent descend from the stairs upon hearing you pull on the can’s tab. “Here you go, buddy.” You dump the cat food in his blue food bowl and pet his head. You heat up the leftovers in the microwave. Heading to your desk in the studio, you look for the sketch of Obi-Wan and snapped a picture of it, smiling while sending it to your friend. 

Your phone chimed from a notification: Is that him? Another chime: He’s muy bueno ;) I’d tap that You replied with: “Please stop being weird”  Tell. Me. Everything!

here’s the new update for lucid dreams! i hope you guys liked it. -mori <33

tag list:  @itsyellow​​ @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching​ @fandom-blackhole​ @marvelunistudent @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @ina-lotta @stargazingcarol

[kkairosclerosis]

uncommon things i associate my deities with~

hi guys! im back from a quick hiatus! 

i recently moved to the city, but not too far from where i lived previously in the country. living in the city, however, is proving to be a bit more difficult then i had imagined, so ive been taking some weekends to go back home and ground myself again so i can feel more connected to my craft<3.

anyways, this morning, i was sitting on the porch of my parents farmhouse, looking out onto the sunset as my idiot dog ran laps around the frost-covered lawn, feeling more connected to my deities than i had in weeks. i decided, ‘hey, here a nice post idea. maybe ill talk abt the things i associate with my deities that others might not, and hopefully inspire them to as well!’ so, here it is! 

uncommon things i associate my deities with!

hermes——««

if this isnt your first time on my blog, you probably know: hermes is my patron. he has been for a while, even before i began to worship him. if you want to know more about why, check out this post. 

regardless, you can imagine that i hold very dear everything i associate with him.

in this case, it’s my dog. 

my dog is an...interesting border collie named oliver. i got into hellenic worship very shortly after getting him, and i have a very strong feeling he has a lot to do with it. 

i am thoroughly convinced my dog is a child of hermes. hes chaotic, but extremely smart. very, very fast, and spends hours running out in the yard. just running. nothing else. its even more intense when its windy, which, if you read the aforementioned post, you know that i associate the wind heavily with hermes. hermes is also the god of animal husbandry, and oliver is quite the farm animal. 

watching him run, i always get a strong sense of comfort. i know that the energy of hermes resides in him, its very clear. its almost as if his running brings the wind.  like hes running, and hermes says ‘hey, that looks fun! let me join!’ 

i, very regularly, ask for hermes protection of oliver. i do this because i know of the love hermes has for him. i can feel it. it makes me comfortable knowing hes safe while im not home with him. and i can tell it makes oliver feel safe as well.

aphrodite——««

aphrodite has always been dear to me, even before i started actually worshipping. i remember reading about her in the mythology books i frequented in the art room after i finished my projects, carrying them out to the field to just sit and read. she was an embodiment of beauty to me, and that has not changed since, so its natural that i associate her with one of the things i find most beautiful on this plane of existence: clouds.

when i was thinking of writing this post, i was sitting and looking at a cloudless sky. i was thinking: why is it that we most often consider a cloudless sky beautiful? is it because of the absence of ‘blemish?’ does a cloud signify a flaw? must all beautiful things be completely clear, or without mark? 

obviously, i thought this was ridiculous. clouds are so very dear to me. i mean, i have an entire album of photos on my phone of pictures of clouds i have taken. i have always been enamored. 

while i was pondering this, it hit me. beauty is unique. beauty is individual. thats exactly what aphrodite is about. these ‘marks’ in the sky are what make the sky beautiful to me. aphrodite is in these ‘blemishes’ because i find them beautiful. 

now, i dont mean to wrap this up in a corny way, but i encourage the people reading this to think this way about themselves. beauty is in your imperfections because they make you you. i have not seen one cloud that looks exactly like another i have seen, and thats exactly what makes them so beautiful to me. aphrodite loves all of you, and someone else does as well, so do not disrespect them by being mean to yourself. their idea of beauty is not misconstrued, so trust them. and if you dont think someone thinks your beautiful, know that i do<3.

apollo——««

apollo, to me, has always been sort of an enigma. i have a harder time interpreting his signs, especially recently, and i think that its particularly because of my recent falling out with my creative side. i have sort of abandoned my art, and it think its difficult for him to communicate with me through anything else.

one thing, however, i can feel him in is the sound of the birds in the morning. particularly, roosters.

as i mentioned before, my parents live on a farm. its natural to hear roosters first thing in the morning. some people find it annoying, but to me, its incredibly comforting. it means another morning has come. i’ve lived another day, and i have a whole new one to look forward to, until i hear the rooster the next morning. it means the sun is rising, and apollo rises with him. 

as a witch who particularly enjoys the sunrise, but has a hard time waking up to see it, the roosters serve as a sort of natural alarm clock. even if i do not physically get up to see the sunrise, i know it is happening, and i am awake for that first moment of dawn. it brings me comfort and a sense of small accomplishment, even on really difficult days.

and the days im in the city, and cant hear the roosters, its the morning songs of the birds in the part right next to my apartment building. this might be even more so, as apollo is the god of music. 

its a different type of comfort to wake up to the chill of the morning and hear the birds, knowing its a deity that loves me and wants to see me the next morning as well. i hope you, dearest reader, come to feel the same:).

asclepius——««

now, i haven’t talked about this much on this blog, but to me, asclepius has been such a pillar for me as of recent. with the pandemic and my own current health situation, i rely on him a lot for hope and support. i ask him to protect both me and my friends and family from illness or ailment, and in case of ailment, i ask him to facilitate a speedy recovery. thus far, he has never failed me, and i do not ever expect him to. i put my trust in him wholly. 

other than health, i find myself associating asclepius with cleanliness. while i see asclepius as the medic, i also see him as someone who is clean and organized. this is why i associate him with dewdrops.

now, bear with me in my explanation. morning dew, to me, feels clean. it feels almost pure, as it is one of the first forms of moisture a person can be met with during the day. 

picture it now. you wake up at sunrise, and venture out into your yard, the chill of the am just tickling at your face, cooling your nose to the touch. you take your first step off of the deck, and your bare feet sink into the grass, cold, and now wet from the dew. the feeling is shocking at first, as your feet get used to the new temperature, fresh out of the warm comfort of your blanket that sits invitingly on your bed inside. 

but the feeling is fresh. its grounding. its healing. 

that, to me, is how asclepius feels. 

sobek——««

i must be honest, sobek is the reason this post came to existence. i feel extremely strong about this one, particularly because i feel that sobek is under-appreciated and misunderstood as a god. i constantly encourage people to include sobek in their worship, as he, to me, has proven to be one of the most reliable gods i have ever worked with. i feel such a sense of comfort and love within him. i could sit in his energy for hours, days even. especially as a person who suffers from bouts of paranoia, his energy is one to learn to accept and become. 

for me, i see sobek in flowers. 

not many would see this, as sobek has this image of a tough, crocodile, protection god, which he is. but what a lot of people forget, is that sobek is also a god of fertility, particularly in harvest. in fact, sobek has done so much for my family’s farm. our garden is plentiful, and our harvests are more than we know what to do with. we end up making a lot of extra things with it, and giving it away to family friends and neighbors. i genuinely think that sobek creates abundance in our garden so he can give to our community. that is how loving i know him to be. 

however, what i specified was flowers. one of the most common offerings i give to sobek are roses. he seems to love them. sobek seems to protect that of which he loves, and roses are a symbol of love for me. i want to attempt to give him what he has given me. 

my family has a wildflower garden in front of our home. the morning i was sitting on the porch, i felt his presence, and i immediately looked to the flowers. delicate, yet extremely strong, and persevering. thats how i wish to be, and i can feel sobek in the encouragement of the flowers. 

i hope that didn’t come off too corny, although im pretty sure it did lol. i hope that this post was a good insight into my deities and how i understand them to be! again, disclaimer, not everyone experiences the gods in the same ways! some may agree with this post wholeheartedly, and some may have completely different experiences that make them disagree entirely! i am not one to gatekeep and define what the divine is, because the divine shows itself in different ways to different people. i hope you enjoyed this post, and have a wonderful day!

p.s. i love you and you’re worth it!

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[vivilice]

Regret (1)

No warnings

Genre: romance, Otherworldy, fantasy, LGBT+

A wind swept paper petals up towards the sky. A grand castle surrounded by a red sky lay in silence. The servants and stewards of this place all have a fabricated hearts. Only three residents carry a body of flesh and blood. A human with eyes of God and one arm. Who carries a promise with the two others. A dragon who has been around the longest and watches the other two from afar. Who carries his hobbies with vigor. A demon born from resentment which took a paper rose as his vessel. Who keeps the title of Devil and would rather spend time with the two others than those from outside.

The living room was dimly lit. Rosell sat on the windowsill one foot dangling down and with crossed arms. He looked outside at the rain. Hell was soaking with sound of roaring thunder in the distance. It was pleasant to hear. Really making the comforts of home more cozy.

“Wow, it’s thundering like crazy out there. I wonder if it’ll come closer.” A bright young woman sat down beside the Devil. Her peach skin illuminated every time a bolt of lightning lit the sky. Her long unruly blond hair fell nicely on her shoulders. Her smile warmed the Devil who she called brother everytime he looked at it. 

A nice scent came sneaking in on them. It came directly from the kitchen which was placed beside the living room. A young looking man came strolling in. He wore a blue dress with a nice fluffy jacket, an apron and oven mittens while carrying stew. A long blue and white tail closed the kitchen door behind him. His slitted eyes screamed mischievous and his grin was painted a bright red.

 “Food’s served.” He sang. The young woman, who was named Dina Ravenwood, who sat beside the Devil got up and darted to the dinning table. The man with the dragon’s tail, named Ikle Raveice sat down beside her and served her a portion of his cooking. He looked at his younger brother who still sat at the window. “Come eat with us already! I made your fav stew, you know.” Rosell Chartam Ibaraki, the Devil of the Fabricated Hell, stood up and sat down beside Ikle.

The little family sat and ate. Chatting about Dina’s school, about demonic affairs, about fashion and then. Dina,“Oh yeah! Today in religion I got in a heated discussion with two of the boys from the other class.” Ikle sniggered, “Wow, pro’lly ‘cause they had their own version of the Devil and such, huh? Not like anyone know the right answer right?” Ikle said, elbowing the Devil. Dina laughed and stuck her tongue out for her dragon brother. “Why are you booing me I’m right!” Ikle’s use of an old meme earned him another elbow.

“Actually,” Dina began after she had stopped laughing. “We were talking about resentment toward God and how The Devil...is driven by only that, hate.” Hearing Dina say that Rosell could only keep eating. 

A shadow fell over Rosell’s features and he stared out of the window again. Ikle gulped loudly and gestured for Dina to change subject. Dina however, was quite nosy.

“Rosell? I argued against them because I know better, right.” She continued. Without hesitating Rosell answered, “Nah, they’re pretty much right. But you know that too. If it wasn’t for that god-for-nothing, i’d-“ Dina, “You’d what?” Silence feel over the room. “Isn’t that quite dumb?” Rosell turned his head, seething anger started to rise. he clenched his fists.

Dina’s face was stern and Ikle could only sigh. “Dina.” Rosell began, trying to keep his voice calm. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You know what he did.”  Dina was relentless, “I know he killed them. But didn’t you kill his forces too?” Rosell became angrier, he almost said something until Dina said, “Didn’t you want to be able to be left unrestrained? Is this your anger? You didn’t know any of them! Neither the circumstances surrounding why God saw it as a necessity to... ok I won’t defend mass murder. But... you hate a guy you never really met. And for what? The resentment your predessecors formed you from?” 

Silence filled the room after Dina spoke. Suddenly, a loud humm broke out. Rosell turned his head and was met with the biggest “I told you bro!” Face from Ikle. 

All the anger which had been built up suddenly dissapeared as if a witch had swung her staff. It dawned on Rosell.

She was right.

Ikle looked at Dina who returned the look. Then back to Rosell who stared at his plate Suddenly, Dina couldnt take her brother’s silence anymore. 

“Uhh, Rosell? Sorry, I just wanted-“ Dina didn’t get the chance to finish. “You’re right.” “Huh?” It blurted from Ikle. Rosell rested his chin in his hand and looked troubled.

Rosell, “You’re absolutely right.”

~

Footsteps rang out throughout the Heavens. A colorful seraph darted around God’s abode to try and find the lord. Finally, after opening the absolute last door in the whole palace the angel found God.

A big white coat, with splotches of dried paint, floated around a being with a dimmed aura. With colorless hair tied loosely by the neck, held by a huge bead. A young man rotated his body to show a patchwork of vitiligo on his skin. Big round glasses surrounded his eyes which were two differen colors, one blue one and one purple. He broke into a smile, “Miza!! What is it?” The seraph stood straight and answered, “Young lord Bell, I-I believe I found Strezia’s daughter!!!!”

Colorful eyes widened and the smile became bigger. The God jumped into his angel’s embrace and celebrated with gusto, jumping up and down. “Are you for real?! Then what are we waiting for? Hurry and let’s go already!!!”

The seraph staggered and tried to readjust themselves, “Bell,uh Bell. Remember. It’s the human realm we are going to. You need to hide your aura!” Baltazar, the God of The World of Allure smiled, “Well, I think I will need your help... you know. My art block and all.” The seraph called Miza didn’t answer. Only giving a knowing nodd and then the two were on their way.

~

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?!” Baltazar almost started crying. The lady behind the counter  couldn’t help but fidget while Baltazar got closer and closer up in her face.

“Bell... calm down. They can’t just give out the information like that.” Baltazar turned to look at Miza, “But, but. Then how will we...” “Excuse me, sirs?” Both turned to the lady, who was in charge of the orphanage register. “Like I said.” She began. “I can’t just give out addresses at random. And since you can’t prove that you’re related to this woman, then it doesn’t look good for your search...”

Baltazar’s face turned gloom. It was like all the color around him died out and became grey. 

“But there might just be a way.”

Instantly, Baltazar’s face brightened up. The woman behind the counter turned in her seat and began pressing keys on her computer and click around with her mouse. 

“You see... five years ago. A woman related to miss Ravenwood came to search for her as well. She left her business card. It’s all I can give you as of now.” She reached for a file and pulled out a small dull business card.

Baltazar took the card and thanked the lady profusely. Then he darted out the door with Miza dangling behind him.

“So... huff, huff what now?” Miza inquired. Baltazar stopped on a sidewalk and turned to Miza, “Hold out your hands. I need some inspiration.” Miza held out her hands and they both closed their eyes. After minute standing like that, earning the two weird looks from pedestrians they knew where to go.

~

Penelope power walked down the lane in centrum. She kept looking at her watch and walked faster and faster. She had done it so many times that even her stilettos gnawing at her heels wasn’t a bother anymore. Just slap on some patches and then she would be fine! Oh well, she also had to call Dina and wish her luck on her test and then there was that new apartment opening and then. Umpf!

Penelope, “watch were you’re going!” Staggering back from the impact Penelope surveyed the person in front of her. Messy, oversized coat, bleached hair, smudged glasses, and ... heterochromia? Without noticing Penelope had begun to sneer at the jaywalker. “Uh... I’m! I’m so sorry.” The man begun to bow up and down. So much that Penelope felt nauseous just looking at the other, she asked him or was it a her? To stop.

After the person stopped Penelope made her way to leave until her wrist was grabbed. 

Big mistake.

Penelope had practiced martial arts since grade school. She was quite proud of her hand palm block and wrestled the attacker’s hand backwards. A pitiful scream was released and people around the two stared in disbelief. This attacker had to be a man. In Penelope’s opinion it was always men who gave the most ear-piercing scream.

While Baltazar’s soul was about to leave his body, a new guy appeared. “Wait, ms Ravenwood!” Penelope looked at the newcomer. With disdain she said, “Who are you and why do you know my name?” The new guy straightened his back and answered with a slight tremble, “Please, we uh, we wish to speak to you. About Dina.” With those words Penelope let Baltazar go.

~

“You’re Dina’s father’s acquaintance?” Penelope asked and sipped her free coffee, the two others had brought for her.

The attacker was named Baltazar and the other one, who Penelope had thought to be man, Miza. Both sat opposite from her inside a coffee shop. 

The two nodded and Baltazar began, “Yeah, we got your business card at the register. We really didn’t want to bother you... or maybe, just bother you about Dina.” He shrugged helplessly.

Penelope sighed, “I see. Next time don’t jolt me like that. I nearly got a heart attack, you know!”

Both bowed their head to apologize. 

“Well, never mind anymore.” She said to make them stop. “I just need to know if you have any proof of your relations. You must know I just can’t send any stranger over to my niece.”

Miza had an aha moment and rummaged around in her purse. “Is the person on the right familiar in any way?” She asked, while pointing to a picture of two people she pulled out of her purse.

Penelope’s face dropped. 

She asked for the photo and studied it close.

  “It really... is her. Marie...” Penelope said, caressing the picture with her free hand. Her eyes got glassy.

“I see. Only two copies exist of this one. That’s what Marie told me... very well then. Tell me what you want with Dina and then I’ll tell you we’re to find her. But i warn you!” She said, pointing with a stern finger. “If i hear you tried anything fishy, i’ll find some means to drag you two through Hell! If not Dina’s brothers does it first!”

Baltazar held up his hands and broke into a big happy but nervous smile, “We! just wanted her to know about her father and maybe get closure to questions she may have...”

Penelopepaused. then she smiled and then wrote down an address. “She lives with her adoptive brothers. Get along with them and then you’ll get along with Dina.”

~

The building in front of God and his seraph were quite foreboding. Vines crawled up the walls and held the building in a tight embrace. The leaves were so dense it was hard to know which color the house originally held. 

Baltazar started to sweat. He strolled nervously up to the entrance and was about to knock when he heard incoming footsteps. 

“I’ll be back later dolls, I just need to...” a young blondie opened the door and was met by Baltazar’s stupefied look. Miza straightened her uniform and looked directly at Dina.

Baltazar, “May you be... miss Dina Ravenwood?”

Dina closed the door somewhat and hid behind it to shield her.                     “That depends on... What business you two may have...”

Baltazar fretted And didn’t know what to say. His divine power revealed her identity, however he couldn’t just reveal his true form to her. She may be the daughter of a seraph but she shouldn’t get scared.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. Let me introduce me and my companion. I’m Baltazar Farver and this is Miza.” Miza bowed slightly to Dina, “How do you do.” She said.

Dina opened the door some more to look better at the two oddballs on front of her.

“We! Uh, we are acquainted with you dad and we wish to tell you about him and maybe get to know...you?” Dina’s eyes lit up, then she became more apprehensive.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth.” Baltazar looked at Miza in defeat. Miza took the hint and coughed slightly, “Miss Ravenwood. We only have this picture of your mother together with your father.” She gave Dina the picture. Dina’s blue eyes shone like small stars and she looked at the two more brightly. 

“Thank you so much!!! Please, come in come in. I’ll be happy to know you! My brothers are not home yet but they’ll be home soon!” Miza and Baltazar breathed out in relief. They began to step into the small house.

An array of demonic aura appeared on the floor inside the hall the moment the two divine beings stepped inside. It forced God and the seraph to reveal their true selves. Baltazar looked at Miza in horror. The array and the sudden change in atmosphere revealed that they were no longer in the second realm. They had entered Hell, the third realm.

Baltazar had a look of horror spread out on his face. Slowly, he looked at Dina who had sprung back after the array had activated. It held Baltazar and Miza in an iron grip making the two unable to move. 

Dina was frozen to the ground. She looked at the God and the angel for a long while. Unable to say anything. 

Meanwhile, piles of questions weighed down on God’s mind. Why was a human child living in Hell? No, why i Strezia’s child living in Hell? Does her aunt know? Is she a prisoner to an evil demon? Will demons gather now that two from the first realm had appeared?

Baltazar’s train of thought stopped abruptly. He was let down along with Miza and the two looked with surprise at Dina. Dina stood still. And then she lifted a finger to her lips. She then gestured to the two to follow her.

~

Dina poured three cups of tea with an apologetic look. The two heavenly beings were astounded. Dina had been adopted by two demons who now acted as her guardians. She was apparently also dating another demon and was quite happy with her life.

“And that’s really it.” She finished, “Look, I don’t want to hurt you and I’ll be more than willing to hear about my father. I’ve always wondered what happened.”

Miza had on a face of grave seriousness, “Miss Dina. Our presence here... It might cause some... people. To find rather... what do you say? Complicated. We don’t wish to engage in any hostility with your brothers.”

Dina smiled with relief, “That’s good to hear. I’ll make sure you’ll get out of here safely. But please, meanwhile. Make yourself comfortable.” Baltazar quickly took her up on her words an munched on a cookie he had been offered. Miza shot him a menacing look and Baltazar realized he probably took it a little too well. being in Hell and all.

He sighed and smiled. He’d better get on with it, “You see your father-“

“WHATSUP SLUTS! BIG BRO’S BAAAA.....aaaack.” A boisterous woman kicked open the door to the living room. Her voice was as dark as a man’s. She stopped immediately when she saw the angel and the other divine who sat with Dina.

Everybody turned to look at the newcomer.

Sweat began to form on the lady’s forehead and she cleared her throat, “Haha, welcome dearies.” she had completely changed her tone to a more fairer one. 

“Oh Dina, I didn’t know we would have guests. I would’ve dressed for the occasion.”

Dina abruptly stood up, “Ah! Sis! Eh, these two know about my dad!” The lady blinked, “Really?” Suddenly her demeanor changed and she slowly got over and sat beside Miza. “Well, if you have something to tell about Dina that I don’t know. Then I would like to hear as well. The names iklea.” She held up her hand for Baltazar to shake. 

“Hello there, the names Baltazar.” Miza quickly shot Baltazar another look. And he retracted his hand. While giving the sister an apologetic look. 

Wait. didn’t Dina only have brothers? Balthazar thought.

Iklea looked like she tried to hide her displeasure. Looking thoughtful she sat with crosses arms. “Well, anyways. Didn’t you want to talk about Dina’s dad?” She asked, quite annoyed.

Baltazar cleared his throat, “Yeah! uh, yeah. Sorry.” He then began to tell about Strezia.

“Your dad’s name was Strezia. She was one of the most creative seraphs in my court. Oh, I have a picture.” Baltazar procured a picture of a beautiful fair-skinned lady. Her body was totally covered in a white uniform, with dried paint on. Her hair was even longer than Dina’s and her eyes were piercing as if she was looking directly at the viewer. Her eyes were the same as Dina’s.

“Uhh. Mr, Baltazar?” Dina asked hesitantly. “Isn’t this a picture of a woman?”

Baltazar blinked, not once but twice before Miza shot him another glare. “Oh yeah, you father was actually a woman.”

Dina looked slightly surprised. She looked at Iklea then back at Baltazar. “My father? Was a woman? And an angel at that?” She was sounding rather sceptical. Balthazar didnt blame her. But the God did wonder. hadn’t she been living with demons!

Baltazar, “Well, its not hard to change gender when you’re an angel. Or a demon for that matter. And I know for a fact that Strezia loved to explore the nuances of existence.”

Iklea smiled and put an arm around Dina, “Reminds me of someone i know.” She winked. “Excluding the shapeshifting part.” The siblings grinned at each other. 

Miza looked at the picture and sighed, “Strezia was like an elder sister to all of us.”

Balthazar looked fondly at thepicture too, “When she told me she had fallen in love with a human woman I tried to warn her.”

Dina, “Warn her? About what?”

Baltazar looked down, “Humans don’t live forever... I was afraid she would get hurt and then... Look, Strezia wasn’t aware that your mother was pregnant. If she knew...” Baltazar could feel tears forming. He quickly wiped them away.

Dina’s face was frozen, “Mr, Baltazar? Sorry I’m asking but... my father, you address him in past tense could it be that...”

Dina didn’t say anymore. Baltazar lip quivered. He tried to pull himself together. Miza put a hand on Baltazar’s back. Dina took Iklea’s hand and Iklea squeezed it back.

~

Shadows swept the halls of the Fabricated Castle. The light from the mosaic windows danced around and found a silhouette which appeared at the end of the stairs leading to the main hall. 

Red eyes surveyed the foyer and the gaze went towards the living room. 

Hearing unfamiliar voices the silhouette took on a more human appearance with a nice blazer and matching pants.

He opened the door and first saw his sister Dina and then Ikle, “I’m back.” He said, then stopped in the doorway. When the guy opposite of Dina turned around something deep inside of Rosell sank.

Voices. Voices which had been hidden away since he met Dina returned. 

Kill. Kill. Revenge. Chance. Take it!

“Ross-!” Dina yelled and got up. Iklea, who really was Ikle, hurried to make  Dina stop before she finished the name. 

Rosell’s eyes were fixated on Baltazar. 

The God he had spent centuries getting to. He now sat in his living room. Free from his court’s protection.

He had never been this close. So close yet...

Balthazar, “Hello, you must be Dina’s brother. I’m Dina’s father’s Uh... acquaintance.” The God got up from his seat, turned to Rosell and smiled.

The dread dissipated.

Rosell, “Dina’s?”  

Rosell looked at Dina and Ikle who were about to burst.

He then took a looked at the seraph, who was also present in the room.

It seems like... there was some explaining to do.

Dina’s elder brother took off his coat. A small smile formed on rosell’s lips.

“Where are my manners. You can call me Ross.” 

“Ross” held out a hand for God to sake. Baltazar returned the smile and shook the other man’s hand, “I’m Baltazar.”

Ross, “I know.”

Baltazar felt dread roll down his body. 

Rosell, “You hurt me, my lord. I may be a common demon. as you might have guessed from the array at the entrance. Currently disguised as a human for Dina’s sake. But I know my way in this world. And the people one has to know about” He looked directly through Baltazar. 

“Surely, you must have been aware that this is Hell when you arrived, right.” 

Baltazar nodded. Unable to say much more. 

Ross let go of Baltazar’s hand, “Now, tell me. What have I been missing?”

~

Ross, “I see, that explains a lot.”

Dina, “It does?”

Ross, “It explains why you got the eyes of God.”

Baltazar almost spilled his tea, “She’s got my eyes???” This statement prompted a  facepalm from Miza.

Rosell shook his head, “Not yours per see. More like, what priestess in the old world prayed to be able to see through you. To see things that normal people wouldn’t.”

Miza took a sip from a teacup. “You mean she can see magic beings?”

Rosell scoffed, “No, not at all. She still believes my tail is some weird furry statement i have going. Dina turned to Ross, “Ross please!” She then turned to the divine pair and confirmed, “I’ve always been able to, since I was small.”

Miza sighed and tried not to show her disdain for the demon, “That must’ve been difficult. Your peers must have found you rather peculiar. We are terribly sorry we did not know of your existence earlier. We should’ve been able to help you.” SHe glanced at “Iklea” and “Ross”, “Much earlier.”

Ross glared at the seraph who gladly returned the gesture. It was so intense that Miza could only try to drink from an empty cup and act like she didn’t notice the cup was empty.

Dina, “Not at all! My childhood was... but then I met Ross and Iklea. Since then.. I’ve been rather content. I even decided when my business in the human world is finished. I’d actually like to stay permanently here with my boyfriend... if he still likes me in the future that is.”

Iklea broke into laughter, “HAH! He better. ‘Else I know of a few heartbreaking words to tell him.”

Nobody in the room liked the obvious wink Iklea sent towards the group.

“But back to my dad....” Dina tried.

Baltazar’s face dropped, “Yeah! Right!”

“As I said, Strezia fell in love with a woman named Marie Ravenwood. She stayed together with Marie for some human years until one day... She came home. Locked herself in her room and didn’t show her face for quite some time... Miza.” Balthazar gestured to the seraph, “Found out that ms. Ravenwood had cut ties to her. And then thirteen years ago... you mother. You probably know know what happened.”

Dina gulped and looked down. Ross sat beside her and watched her every move.

Dina’s mother had died giving birth to her. Her mother had cut all ties to her family because of improper conduct. She would rather give Dina up for adoption than let her parents know of her daughter’s existence. As Dina had been told by her aunt.

“I felt it when you mother died.” Balthazar continued when DIna confirmed she knew. 

“Her connection to Strezia made all of Strezia’s closest feel it too. I knew something would happen so I... I forced myself into Strezia’s room. But she was gone. A few days later. Strezia’s light disappeared from this existence...” Dina felt cold.

“Nobody knew what had happened to her as she had thrown away her halo.”

Dina sat frozen. Her shoulders trembled. Dina got up and went out the door. Ross got up too and followed after her. Balthazar could only stare as he was at a loss at what to do. It had been twentyfive years ago and he still remembered the day as if it was today it had happened.

Iklea sighed, “Don’t worry, she... just have to swallow it. They’ll be back. After she gets it out.”

Baltazar felt her pain. A girl who had never met her parents.. and for both of them to wind up dead. Truly sad. 

Baltazar closed his eyes. His empathy gave birth to an inkling of inspiration. He used it to see where the two had gone. ‘

A gentle hand calmly patted a young weeping maiden while rocking her back and forth. A good man consoling his little sister. Whispering reassuring words to her.

After a while Iklea went too and the three of them soon got back.

Baltazar got up from his seat, “I’m sorry that you and Strezia never got to meet. But I’m happy nonetheless to finally being able to meet you. I-“ “Wait a moment.” Ross said.

Baltazar stopped. 

Ross, “I think I know what happened to Strezia.” 

Miza got up instantly.

“You do??? What happened? What do you mean?”

Baltazar looked hopeful at Ross. However, Strezia’s soul had moved on. She wouldnt turn up alive, even if balthazar wanted it. Still, Baltazar wanted closure so he prompted Ross to tell what he knew.

“Some time back. An angel went on a rampage throughout some shopping districts in Hell’s capital. Many high demons came to stop her but her attacks were relentless. She didn’t even try to protect herself. Charging head on.”

They all listened attentively. Nobody were sitting anymore, holding their breaths.

Ross, “She stirred up such a huge incident that the Devil himself showed up.”

Baltazar felt stiffened. He always got trembling fits every time the Devil was mentioned. he tried to gulp down the unease.

“He tried to subdue her.” Ross continued. “But when he went for the killing strike she suddenly threw her sword and met the attack with open arms. He refused her the kill and stopped immediately. But, something in her eyes drove her to steal away his sword, Redwoo, and then she... ended it herself.”

The atmosphere which surrounded the room lay heavily on the people inside. 

Baltazar felt weak and wanted to scream and cry. He blamed himself. His inefficiency. He was supposed to be God but he couldn’t even help one who had been so close to him. 

The loss of Marie was so big that Strezia didn’t even want to be in a world where Marie wasn’t there. A tragedy befitting of such a beautiful love. If this had been a tragedy. 

Baltazar flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to see Dina with tears in her eyes. “Thank you for coming today.” Her voice was weak and trembling. She fought hard to keep the tears at bay. Baltazar only felt worse when he saw her. He then embraced the girl. And thanked her too. Holding back tears.

She never knew them. But she wished she had. Still, she couldn’t help but feel sad for two people who had loved each other and tried to protect each other. Angels’ life span far surpasses that of a human. With a baby on the way, Miza concluded it must’ve been because Marie wanted to spare Strezia the heartbreak of outliving her child and wife. Nobody knew for sure.

~

“Thanks for having us!” Baltazar beamed. He stood outside of Ross, Iklea and Dina’s house. Miza and him were preparing to go back.

“I’m so happy I came to meet you Dina! And your nice elder siblings of course. Even though I thought that you had two brother to start with... but well, it’s really been fun! Though, maybe a tad bit sad.” Iklea stood and supressed a laugh. Ross only elbowed her.

Baltazar clasped Dina’s hands, “I might be God and have business other places but I would really like it if we kept in contact with each other! You’re really bright and I’m sure Strezia would’ve been so proud of you. So I hope that I can come and visit again. You know, to tell you more and stuff!”

With a returned beaming smile Dina answered, “Yes of course! I really want to know more as well. And you’re really interesting my lord. Even Ross and Ikle- I mean Iklea liked you. And I’m sure they don’t mind.” Dina looked back at her siblings they both nodded in agreement.

“I’m just... I’m just sad that my dad didn’t know about me...” Baltazar patted Dina’s head, “Yeah, it could’ve been different.”

Dina shook her head, “It could’ve. However, I’m happy as is.” She then turned to look at her siblings. Baltazar was truly happy for her.

Miza and Baltazar then said goodbye and disappeared towards the first realm.

“I’m sorry Rosell.” Dina said sheepishly. “I didn’t realize he was God until later...”

“It’s ok. I’m glad you made him stay.”

“You... are?”

“Yeah.”

[cloudbattrolls]

Coward Mont Blanc

Maidel Juzuxt | Present Night | Derevnya | Octavian Musical Arts Studios

Everyone calls it OMAS, or Oh, Masterfully Aimed, Shithead if they’re not fond of Treble. Even if they’re on the list of people who won’t kick him out of a room after ten minutes, they might still toss it off, teasing, but with an edge of bile.

It’s one of the reasons you get along with him, despite how different the two of you are. 

“So!” He says, plucking at his suspenders. “What’s got you in such a sulk, Maidel-girl? Or is it boy today.”

You’re in one of the studio’s dance rooms, one that’s empty at the moment since the next class won’t be for hours. Mirrors cover its walls, and overhead glowworm lamps dot the ceiling, giving off light even as they’re in stasis. Treble can feed, wake, and rearrange them at his will if needed for a choreography practice, as well as brighten them with the right formula. 

Right now they’re giving off a low yellowish glow as they sleep, clinging to the gray ceiling. It bathes your face in a sickly cast, or maybe that’s just your mood as you stare into one of the mirrors, clad in a suit that you look absolutely horrible in.

“Boy.” You say, but there’s not much spirit in it. Gender isn’t very important right now; it’s part of your bigger problem, but only in a small way. 

Sometimes you think it’d be easier if you just had no chest to worry about, and certainly sometimes you hate having to leave off your binder or worry about damage, the kind your psi can’t really repair fully. 

Other times you think rumblespheres at least give people something other to look at than your face or stomach. Not that they’re impressive, but at least it’s something. 

“What’s got you so down in the dumps, Maidel-boy? You nervous? Don’t be nervous, my cool cat! This joint will love you.”

That gets a small snort out of you, mostly because of Treble’s ridiculous speaking manner. It’s been perigees and you still don’t believe he can naturally talk that way, no matter how much he swears up and down he was hatched with it.

You turn a little, looking at yourself from another angle in the mirror, your hair pulled back into a ponytail so everyone can see your face. Great. You put a finger to one cheek, but lightly, to not ruin the makeup covering your freckles.

Treble leans in slightly, his eyebrows raised and ears flicking slightly. His aren’t nearly as mobile as yours, but you know what he’s thinking.

“I look better this way.” You say. “A little. Don’t try to tell me freckles are cute again, I’m not buying it.”

Not much you can do about your face in general. Your hair is okay. then there’s your body.

You’ve always been on the heavier side, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look so stupid on you.

Highbloods being big fits them like a shell on a scuttlebeast. They have the tusks, the intimidation, the big sharp horns to go with it. Their fat doesn’t look like weakness; it only makes them look stronger, heartier, able to dominate.

You’ve been mistaken for blue twice, when you were wearing heavy clothing and goggles against the steam and snow. You were alarmed, then flattered, then a little depressed. 

Treble just clicks his tongue and shakes his head like you’re a silly, mildly disobedient lusus. “Maidel, Maidel, Maidel. Even if you don’t like them, doesn’t mean not a single troll in that joint won’t! You got to be honest about who you are! That’s the only way to make your brand.”

It takes a force of effort to not remind Treble that just because he keeps showing off who he is to the whole world, (despite getting laughed at and kicked out of multiple places) it doesn’t mean you want to go through the same.

That’d be cruel; Treble’s odd, but he’s been kind to you, and it’s hard to hate a troll who isn’t any more good looking than you but so much braver.

Even if sometimes you wish you could. 

“I don’t need a brand.” You mutter. “I just want to sing.”

When you’re finally on the stage, finally manage to forget where you and who you are and what you look like, that makes it all worth it. When you sing, you’re somewhere else, someone else. People have actually clapped for you before, and it wasn’t all just polite applause.

Treble loves to babble about how you could be the next big thing. All you want is to keep feeling that way for the rest of your life, even for little bits at a time. It’s enough.

He pauses, perhaps aware of the usual argument and realizing you don’t want to hear it. He almost chews on his claws, raising two to his mouth but he’s been trying to stop lately and drops them. 

“Maidel.” He says, gentle, which makes the hairs on the back of your neck prick up. “Singing aside, you really want to have this sort of bad juju brewing in you the rest of your natural life, my man?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” You say, trying to be dismissive, but dismissive from you sounds about as believable as a honk from a limeblood and Treble’s face is understandably if irritatingly skeptical. 

“‘Course it matters! You telling me you’re okay just going ‘aw, nuts, I hate how I look’ for all your sweeps? You gotta change yourself, or - ”

“ - change your bulbs, yes.” You sound a bit more testy than you’d like, but he’s told you this about ten times before.

“I tried to diet and exercise for a whole perigee, Treble. Aside from making me miserable, it barely did anything. I lost three pounds. Three pounds in that whole time! I don’t know what’s wrong with my stupid, garbage, messed up - ”

“Whoa! You really want to hate yourself that bad, man?”

You realize you’re breathing hard, eyes wide and - in the mirror - you see a hint of orange in them. 

Groaning, you cover your face with a soft palm, dragging your fingers through your curls.

“Olives are supposed to be lithe and muscular. Or else average looking, since everybody likes to say we’re the most boring caste.” You say, bitter. “Even being average like you would be better. Nobody thinks you’re ugly. They just think you’re normal.”

Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t care right now.

Treble plucks at his tie thoughtfully, but you can see a trace of pain in his eyes that wrenches your digestion sac. You’ll apologize to him later.

“Do people really tell you you’re ugly, Maidel-boy?” He says, curious. 

You snort. In a way, that’d almost be better.

“Hardly ever.” You admit, and he opens his mouth but you wave a finger and press on. “They don’t have to! They don’t even notice me, good or bad, compared to everyone else I know. They’re all pretty. None of them would ever consider a troll like me to be an option in any quadrant.”

You sound pathetic, even to yourself. It’s not like you expect the trolls you know to date you, or that you’d particularly want to date them in the first place. 

It’s how you’ve seen Riccin flirt, seen Pheres flirt, seen them have quadrants. Have people interested in them. Seen them know they’re beautiful, that they can get trolls just by being themselves.

Must be nice.

“So...what brought all this up from its deep dark spot, huh?”

You look at him blankly.

“Usually you’re a little down in the dumps, but not fit to yowl about it.”

You flush slightly. You guess you did raise your voice more than you meant to. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, throat tight. You shouldn’t even be talking to Treble about this. He has a moirail, a teal who works at one of the universities. You have no idea why he takes so much time with you to start with.

Especially if this is how you treat him.

You’d rather dive out the window than answer, but you owe him that much.

“I have an ash crush.” You admit, and it feels like a dirty word, a curse. Maybe it is. You have to be cursed if you’re stupid enough to have feelings for Riccin, who’s practically a clown, and who’s never cared about you.

Maybe it’s some messed up form of self-harm.

Treble looks puzzled, and for good reason.

“So why’re you all torn up about how you look?” 

Ash isn’t about that, is the clear implication. You almost laugh. If only he knew.

“Riccin wants pretty trolls in every quadrant.” You say, staring into the mirror at the disappointing image with a suit on a too-round figure. “Their kismesis and their ex ash are both little, skinny trolls, with pretty faces. And they’re close with Pheres, and he’s the same.”

Then there’s you, who’s as heavy as any two of them, not to mention that they think you’re dull as ditchwater. Even if you wanted to pursue this - if you were so blindingly stupid - how could you prove them wrong? You’d wear yourself out trying.

Not to mention that Vide would probably cull you. She seems like she’s still interested in them, and for all you know they might still be interested in her too. Riccin doesn’t give up easily.

“I think you’re feeling a bit too sorry for yourself, Maidel-boy.”

You glare at him, then sigh. He chuckles.

“So you got a hopeless crush. Happens to us all. Why let it mess your groove up so much, man? If there’s no worth wondering if you can, put your bulbs into what you are good at! Which is: belting out the tunes and making us both a little cash, hm?”

You snort. With Treble it all comes back to money or fame. Given how hard he works for it, you can’t blame him too much. The chances of an olive making it big - or even being an agent for anyone who does - are minimal. Somehow he still tries, still teaches and manages and performs, no matter who mocks him, no matter how many times he gets chased off.

“Okay.” You say. “Let’s go.”

[ashavant]

The American University System: Oppressing the non-elite.

So let me get this straight...in the 70's there was a community outcry to lower the amount of tax money that got put towards college tuition for future generations? American tax payers used to cover over 70% of college costs, allowing the young students straight out of highschool the ability to work a minimum wage summer job to literally pay their entire tuition. Those with part time jobs while in school were not very common. This allowed for an ability to succeed without the unnecessary baggage of financial stress and lack of sleep at 18 years old while taking 14+ credits, which for those of you who dont know is a true 40-60 hour work week alone. All of this hard work and achievement paved the way for these kids to enter adulthood as educated, debt free, and with the world at their fingertips. Not to mention, they had the incredible privilege of not having to become a self sufficient adult in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the depression...

Compare that romantic reality to our drastically different reality today. I will use my experiences as an example for this, while probably on the extreme spectrum of experiences, they are valid and carry merit nonetheless. I was always told as a child, "you have to go to college, its not an option" Yet, when i graduated highschool, my parents grew quiet. I grew up in a 5 person household in Orange County, CA (one of the most expensive places to live in the country) in a family who made roughly $40k a year, give or take (thats poverty folx). My step-father was an electrical contractor so income was often spuratic. Anyway, needless to say they had not one penny saved for my college tuition. My parents failed to put a single penny aside for anything regarding my well-being honestly. With no car, no money, no job, and no idea when or how I could recieve a college education, I was kicked out of my parents at 17 years old with nowhere to go. I couch surfed and was able to get a couple jobs, one at a crafts store and one at a sandwhich shop. After 2 long years of working my way out of homelessness, all I wanted was to start college! So, at age 19 I applied for financial aid. However, I was told because I was under 25 I needed my parents tax information. Well, my parents never filed on time and were incredible dodgy with communication. So, after months of going back and forth I ended up paying out of pocket for a full time coarse load at a community college. I was able to work my jobs and pay this, but with nothing left over for rent or food. I ended up getting kicked out of my place, had to apply for foodstamps, and had to start over from square one. Little did I know I would have to wait 5 years before I could finally give college another shot.

I had almost given up the idea of higher education. I was making good money in the food industry at this point and had a nice company car and a great home with an awesome roommate. But then, I met a boy. We traveled the country for three months with his bluegrass band and saw 32 states. Afterwards, we again found ourselves broke and homeless. We hunkered down, worked 80+ hour weeks, saved up, and moved to Portland Oregon, "where young people go to retire". Little did we know, retire would be the LAST thing we did when we got there. Cost of living was rising in Portland, but still nothing compared to Orange County, CA. We got good food jobs and nested for about a year. My boyfriend (we will call him N) got great grades in highschool and high test scores in his exit exams, so in 2014 he chose to get back into school as a Music Composition Major at age 26. His journey is a whole other terrible story. I wanted to return to school so badly, but knew I had to wait until I was old enough to not warrant my parents tax info. Finally, at age 24 I filed my FAFSA and went to a career counselor. I was directed in the career of Civil Engineering. Having no prior knowledge of this career or topic, I dove in blindly headfirst. I chose a community college due to the fact that I barely finished highschool and did not take ant exit exams. To my surprise, I did very well in my college settings. After one year I was able to transfer to a university! Me! I WAS GOING TO A UNIVERSITY! I could not believe it, and was soo excited. I had no clue how hard this would be, not the work, but just surviving through it. I should mention here that I have a mild dissability. I have endometriosis which is a chronic illness linked to hormones, ovarian cysts, and all that jazz which can result in disabling pain and in my case an emergency surgery from time to time. I also suffer from a mild form of PTSD. So, with those alone handling high stress loads can be very hard on my mental and physical well being.

Ok, so I was a 24 year old first generation college student (first person in my family to go to college) disabled lower class person wanting a higher education. Seems logical right? Well, once I got accepted to the university, I chose to change my major to Architecture, I had taken an intro class for general ed and fell inlove. My beginning of my first year was great! Lots of lectures and reading. Aside from my tuition multiplying literally 3x from my community college tuition which did not affect my financial aid disbursement, I was fairly stress free. Now keep in mind, my partner and I are both working 20-30 hour weeks to make ends meet while taking 12-14 credits. Its basically having 2 full time jobs. Anyway, the last term of my first year came around-my first studio class. I was so excited! Time to actually do architecture! I got the syllabus and was told was supplies were needed to be successful in the class. I was also told that doing all of the requirements for the assignment would result in a C grade, if any grade above that was desired extra work had to be put in. I thought, no biggie, bring it on. The next thing she said was, "absolutely no sleeping in the studio!" Thats when I had a feeling I was gonna be in trouble. After class I went to the art store got my supplies. I almost started crying as they read my total to me: "$682.80, please." And that was with my student discount and not including all of the future supplies I would need just for that term, which I will tell you now after all the drawings and models ended up being about $2,000. That is a whole lot. These studio classes also require many all-nighters just to have enough time to complete the assignments. Many times, due to having to work outside of school I could not complete my assignments or had to do them with less craft and care than I would like just to turn it in. This year, I recieved less in financial aid, my rent has gone up significantly, tuition went up, and there are new grade requirements: if you get anything less than a B-, youre immediately dropped from the school of Architecture. So, not completing assignments isnt an option anymore. This last term costed my much less money, but once I told my instructor I was out of money, his response was, "well, this is Architecture school." What the fuck am I supposed to do with that!? A roll of Velum (drafting design paper) costs $50-$70 pencils are $2 a piece, models cost like $100 each, the list of tools go on and on. I am already paying $10k a year for tuition, ensuring at the very least $70k of debt including my masters degree which you need to get your Architecture license. And at least $100k with the $500 a month I need to borrow a month for rent. I should not need to add thousands more of that for supplies my school should be providing. And this insane pressure of pulling all nighters to get done the amount of assignments it would take us to do in a whole week last term in 2 days!

The moral of this very long story is that college is not meant for those of us trying to climb the life ladder. Its meant for the already elite. Its meant for kids right out of highschool with parents who make enough money to pay their tuition, their rent, their whole lives! Meant for kids who travel to Europe for the summer instead of working 60 hours a week to make up for the money lost during school cuz you physically cannot work more than 25 hours. Its meant for kids who can call their mommies and complain about how mean their teacher is, not for those of us who cry every night about being afraid of ending up back on the streets in the snap of a finger. Its meant for kids who can work and think about school all day every day, not those of us preoccupied with being able to pay all of our bills and being able to afford food and health insurance.

HOWEVER, even if you are like me, worse, or better, YOU CAN DO IT! I have a damn 3.7 GPA. I may only get 3 hours of sleep a lot, cry almost weekly, probably have lost years of my life due to stress, and feel scared for my health, but shit IM FUCKING DOOOOIN IT! Even though our government, or school presidents, and pretty much everyone in power disagrees, you are so worth it and you are so capable of success no matter how much harder you have to work than everyone else. Because we have to work so much harder now, we will get to party that much harder when we make it. I WILL GRADUATE IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL SUCCEED IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD CUZ I AM A BADASS AND CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PRIVELEDGED FUCKS CAN DO, JUST BETTER!

[angel78]

another failed attempt at seeing a new therapist

its literally pointless to try anymore. its honestly not even about “getting better” anymore its about the fact that i just want to be figured the fuck out already. i want to get it all out i want to understand i want to know what happened to me and what the hell is wrong with me... but i guess i’ve always done that myself anywhere. 

i have learned everything i have come to understand about myself in writing and art, mainly my own because that is where i am sorting myself out, but of course with others’ work as well. 

i was never allowed to see a therapist growing up, my parents didnt believe in mental illness and thought i was just crazy or dramatic or whatever else ive said it here before plenty of times. once i left renfrew i tried one or two but one i couldnt afford and the other made me uncomfortable. i had one therapist in wvu that didn’t help or understand at all and just made me feel like i was psycho and straight up would ask me if i paid before i sat down ???? when i finally came back to jersey, i tried to see another therapist in february and she turned me down entirely and said she could not help me or see me because i needed higher care and she couldnt be responsible for that. then finally i began seeing a therapist at my school who saw me for a few months who i thought i might finally be able to get something out of, maybe, but she told me she had to stop seeing me because i was too sick too and needed a higher care and i told her i refused to go to anything inpatient so she straight up said she cant help me anymore but we could have an appointment to find a good program for me and i never went because fuck you for that. right when things started peaking again she just didn’t want to help me anymore. i understand the “ethics” behind seeing someone who you deem “too unwell” to only be attending an hour long therapy session once a week but for gods sake she knew all of the reasons i couldnt do that and some of them were kind of bullshit in her opinion like me refusing to put school on hold again but some of them were fucking valid like money and not having a car at the time to even do an outpatient if i tried and my parents and just everything. 

then finally a few weeks ago i started seeing a new therapist, literally like the day after finding out my boyfriend has fucking cancer, and i saw her three times, spent the first two times having an insurance/money battle in the beginning, and the second time waited for her for 7 minutes after my appt was supposed to start and she still cut me off right after the allotted time was up technically not giving me the appropriate 45 full minutes ???? but not only that she called me by the wrong name ???? only says elementary shit like “so how are depression and anxiety” and just nods and doesnt offer any feedback when i talk. she didnt try at all to get to know my circumstances like i always had to fish for things to talk about because she couldnt even start asking me questions of her own since the first session which like how is that supposed to help me i came here because I NEED HELP and then even though the insurance sent me a document with this therapists specializations and eating disorders WERE LISTED AS ONE OF THEM she says that she doesnt know much about eating disorders and isnt trained in them so she doesnt know how to really help and she then went on to tell me she thinks i just need a higher care and that we could have our last session (the following week from last thursday which would have been tomorrow) so we can find a program together that i should start ???? yeah nice way to say see you never and take another $50 from me when you cant even rememebr my FUCKING NAME WHEN ITS SITTING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU LITERALLY LISTED EATING DISORDERS IN YOUR SPECIALIZATIONS WHEN YOU APPARENTLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM ACCORDING TO YOU sorry im livid but anyway now im back to no therapist and that makes a consecutive three suggesting i needed a higher care but i guess at least this one was just a complete idiot and didnt say she refused to help me anymore 

so i just wanted to post a rant update about that and i guess from here i will just continue

i started class and my last week of training for my new serving job yesterday, i had class at 8:00 after not sleeping all night and have three more classes and then training again, i look cute today but no one lked my selfies on twitter so that was very nice also, im speeding frivolously, and ,,,,

my mom and i got into two big dumb fights over the last week over something so stupid but as always she had to go on and curse me off and tell me she doesnt want me in “her house” which is really funny because how can you call it your house when you 1) dont even have a job therefore do not pay bills 2) my dad, as much as he hurts me, just had to get a second job again to support my family when my mom doesnt even have one and doesnt even love my dad anymore but she’ll reap the benefits of having a man willing to do that for her 3) she literally left us like two months ago to live with her friend then decides to come back because “it was hard driving back and forth and i couldnt see the kids everyday” which honestly, to me, translates to it was too hard coming here every day just to bake cakes 4) she told me whenever she does get money (somehow???) she has full intentions of moving out and getting her own place so even if she did have money i guess making this number 5) she would be PUTTING IT TO GETTING HER OWN PLACE AND NOT THE HOUSE ANYWAY SO I REST MY CASE DOESNT LOOK LKE YOUR HOUSE TO ME BITCH and i left sunday night and went to be with vincent and i get to sleep with him all week and then yesterday my mom tried to send me a meme so i would respond and laugh and we could pretend nothing happened but im tired of doing that im tired of acting like just because im their child i dont deserve an apology like fuck if i dont even deserve help on my medical bills ???? i think i at the very least deserve an apology every now and again ???? especially since they are a signficant part of the reason I AM THIS WAY and then yesterday my dad texted me asking where ive been and i told him what happened and actually tried to have a mature conversation and tell him how i felt like an adult and why i dont think my mom acted fairly and he literally left me on read so thats how my family life is going

otherwise eating is impossible unless its in capsule form and and im overly paranoid and i cant drive without imagining a parallel universe every car that comes into my vicinity somehow crashes into me and not even in the suicidal way literally in the twitching at the sight of an approaching vehicle and shaking my head and closing my eyes while driving because all i can see are these traumatizing visions of things that have never happened to me and im really depressed and i have no friends 

and i really sound like a whiney bitch right now but i havent posted much about whats going on in my life lately and clearly !!!! i dont have a therapist to tell !!!!

i keep wanting to write and have fragments of words but it doesnt feel right yet and i know that

i have no money and my phone and car bills are due next week and i wont be making any money until next week MAYBE

literally the only good thing right now is that vincent is doing pretty well, its really hard to see him this way a lot of the time but its getting easier because im getting used to seeing him bald or how little he eats or helping him when he’s sick, as far as we know the chemo seems to be doing what its supposed to do, he is doing well, i hope it stays that way because he’s literally everything to me and the only thing that makes me want to be on this earth 

[jemreboot]

Ok this is super long but this is something I came up with for the comic aka The Bombers

The Bombers

The Bombers who are referenced to have been in the battle of the bands from the beginning and ended up as a runner from it first appear as an opening act for the Stingers but it turns out oh noes! they have gotten really good in the time since then. Much like the Holograms are to the Misfits, they end up in a feud with the Stingers when their lead singer insults them over a minor issue. Thus beginning more drama for all three other major bands 

some more facts 

I made them Stingers rivals because I always wanted them to have a true blood rival .

They don’t have stage names like most of the Holograms.

They are the most co-ed band.

Their lead singer can sing higher notes than anyone else in the series (high C).

Also their bassist is the only charecter who is engaged or has a kid.

Only male drummer or guitarist.

Profiles (Main band I also have a groupie charecter but they will be done later)

Name: Amy Ibanez

Lead singer 

age 24

height 5′7

ethnicity:Bolivian and African American.

from Bakersfield California 

Amy today is known for her diva and sore loser antics but she was not always this way. Born to a Bolivian father and American mother as a child she was quite shy. However she had quite a evident talent for music at an early age. In high school she was a member of the schools singing group despite being a backround member to the favored member of the group who always sang lead (is  evantually she left the group becoming much more assertive probably a little too much so. In her early twenties, she began what became The Bombers.

facts

Highest vocal range in the series.

More subdued than Pizzazz actually unless her ego with winning gets in the way,

Her and Minx hate each other so much they always have to be kept apart.

Did gymnastics when she was younger and still watches it professionally all the time .

Leon Kazuo

Age:22

Height 

5′8

ethnicity: Japanese

from Cincinatti Ohio (I have to have at least one charecter from Ohio)

One of the more subdueded members of the band, and the second to join, Leon had always been playing guitar since he was younger  but only recently started playing it professionally. He is also insanely good at tennis to the point where no one else on the band will play him (it might also have to do with them accidentally getting hit in the face with the ball a few times, with at one point him hitting even Roxy with it, it didnt end well)

He is the second charecter to be transgender (FTM) but is not too open about it due to some negative backlash to it (including his best childhood friend rejecting him) he evantually does become good friends with Blaze.

facts 

I’ve changed his dealing with his being trans a few times since I was afraid it came across as too insensitive 

wasnt able to transition until after high school

The Cincinatti Reds can do no wrong according to him nope none.

Also has to watch all the major tennis finals every single year.

Peri Murray

age: 23

Height 5′10

ethnicity:African-American

keyboard 

from Hartford Connecticut

Peri is the resident eccentic of the band and suprisingly, the main songwriter. she is one of the more socially awkward charecters obsessed with Godzilla and telling people about her theories of aliens being real. She is also basically joined at the hip with Casey (the drummer ) and they are quite insufferable together.

Much like a few other charecters, Peri had a not so great childhood born into a ultra wealthy family, it was made clear from the beginning that her parents love was conditional in that she was expected to be a proper heiress. Unlike Pizzazzs parents who were never around Peris were always around to keep tabs on her to make sure she stayed in line. In elementry school she discovered the keyboard and wanted to play it but her family shunned this seeing this as an improper career. In middle school she met Casey, who lived there at the time and was the first person who unconditionally accepted her and encouraged her interest in the keyboard. She ended up forming a band in secret but her parents found out and kept an even tighter leash on her .

When she was 18 she ran away from home to California with only 140 dollars to her name and was reconnected with Casey they joined a band and were evantually discovered by Amy and Leon.

Her family has essentially written her off as dead to them but she doesnt care since her band is more of a family than they ever were to her

facts 

has to be some sort of urban legand monster every year for halloween and isnt allowed to hand out candy anymore after scaring the kids.

The aloofness was partially based off Zakuro from Tokyo Mew Mew as she wlll literally walk off mid conversation sometimes.

Is not meant to be read as Autistic (before you ask i’m autistic myself) but her eccentries are more due to her never having the oppertunity to have a normal childhood.

Casey Parsons 

age 24:

height 5′11

ethnicity:White

drummer 

From Sacramento California 

Casey is notorious for being increadibly high energy people often remark that someone like him is born for the drums. Sadly he is also known for keeping people up super late within the band as well.

Even as a child, Casey was known for his high energy levels and was frequently bullied for it. He evantually met Peri who was his only friend for a while until he had to move back to Sacremento he started out as a singer but soon found out he was quite a prodigy with the drums and joined a band once reconnected with Peri.

Facts 

Yes, he is indeed meant to have ADHD. (I have it too so its partially based on experience.)

Has to see every superhero movie and no one would ever go with him to one again after he insisted on giving Fantastic 4 (and he ended up getting kicked out for heckling the charecters.)

He and Peri are so close that multiple people ask if they are dating yet.

The big male drama king of the series. (Riot doesnt scream every other word)

Gina Ercolani

Age 26

height 5′5

ethnicity: Sicilian

from Washington DC

bass guitar

The mother bear of the group despite her intimidating apperence due to her many piercings and tattoos, is one of the nicest charecters in the series. This may be due to the fact she is the only charecter to have a child, she is also the only engaged charecter being so to their current manager.

Born into a Sicilian family in a meh neighborhood, Gina first started playing the guitar when she was in 7th grade. Out of highschool she ended up fronting a band and met her now fiance .

However one thing led to another and she ended up getting pregnant despite being only 22 at the time she decided to keep them with her leaving the band temporarly to do so. Unfourtuntatly, she leaves the band once she realizes they are treating her differently for having a child while not being married.

for a while her and her husband and child have to live in a one room apartment while raising money to move to LA. Leon ends up being the one to discover her while she is performing at a bar 

facts 

Is pretty much the only one who can get Amy to shut up.

One of the few charecters who just want the bands to get along and is nice to everyone.

However she is truly terrifying if you try to hurt her band or child .(ESPECIALLY her child)

Feodor Yefmin

Age 23

height 5′9

Ethnicity: Russian-American

Can play guitar but is really their graphic designer.

Originally from Yakutsk,  Sakha Republic, Russia but spent most of his life in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Feodor despite being able to sub in for guitar, and being in a band in the past his real talent lies in graphic design for the band.

Born in the SIberian city of Yakutsk (the coldest city in the world)he and his family emigrated to Fairbanks Alaska when he was two. Growing up he showed an interest in both art ,and music and showed promise in each. After graduating high school he went to LA to study graphic design and had a band on the side. He was then discovered yet it was the art ability which really convinced the Bombers to recruit him.

He is also increadibly annoyed by the fact Riot is apprentaly in love with him like your “charisma” is not impressing me, go away.

facts 

Is not a main part of the band but is such an important part I had to do a profile.

Is the first gay male in the series.

Very posessive of his laptop (thinks everyone is going to delete his stuff)

Also the first person that doesn’t fall for Riots flirting (although Jem is relieved he at least likes someone else)

May seem like Techrat but is much more socially open then him. (and he genuinally does care about the band quite deeply actually.)

Apologies for any grammer errors,I tried my best to look over and be as accurate as possible it's just hard for me to read and see them sometimes.

[colorfulsuitdestiny-blog]

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

"About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I've been seriously looking into purchasing a 06 Hyundai Tiburon or an 04 Nissan 350z. I'm 18, and everytime I mention it to my parents, they ALWAYS bring up the fact that we ...show more""

Why is my car insurance going up if I have a good driving record?

I just moved about a block from my old rental (old lease was for 2 years) so I updated my address at my insurance. The policy went up to about 100$ a month which I don't understand because I have been told I am low risk and in the preferred age category 25+. I have a cousin about 9 years older who has multiple accidents, claims and tickets who only pays 60$. So what the heck is going on? I am comparing apples to apples on deductibles but it seems as if the insurance companies are punishing me for having a clean record with no accidents. I am just about 30 years old and only have one car a 2000 Saturn LW2 that I've owned outright for 6 years without payments. Even my younger friends who still party and drink pay lower than I do. Is it possible there is false information that the insurance companies are basing my rate on? The lowest rate I have been able to find is 70$ a month... but everything else is over 150$ per month......grr. I am a complete square and only drive up to 5 miles total a day for commute so I don't see why I should be paying so much. I was told by a friend that I should have had a price drop when I hit 26 because that is the cut off for DUI risk but it hasn't happened.""

Auto insurance question?

I'm going to be working for a delivering company and I need proof of insurance. I have it, but the car I'm driving is my mom's so the name on the card obviously isn't mine. The company I'm going to be working for needs proof that I have insurance and I don't know what kind of paperwork would work. Any ideas?""

Insurance questions for a minor?

I'm about to have a son, I'm 17 I'm on my dads insurance my boyfriend is 20 he's on his parents insurance. Who's insurance does my son go on, or does he go on medicaid? If you just want to insult me for being a young mom keep it to yourself it doesn't hurt my feelings and you're wasting my time.""

What do I do if The person who hit my car doesn't have insurance?

My car was hit today while parked. Smashed in my driver door pretty bad. A Honda ran a stop sign, hit a Celica that was going straight and the impact from the hit caused my parked car to hit by the Celica. The Honda that caused the accident doesn't have insurance, and didn't have his drivers license on him either. The cops cited him, but The Celica is totaled & my door is completely smashed in. I don't know how to go about this. He ****** my car, and he doesn't have to pay? I live in California. I do have insurance, so do I take care of it myself? I just don't think that sounds right.""

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

How much would it cost to insure a 07-08 Corvette.?

Considering also there is mileage around 5,000-26,000.. I am a 17 yr old girl and I was looking at the corvette and it really caught my eye! Sporty, fast, and just all over good look for me... What would be ( around / guesstimate ) the monthly payments & insurance because I heard it's cheaper for females to be insured than men.? Thanks!""

Who are the top insurance providers in the US for life insurance?

I am wanting to get life insurance for myself and want to find out some good references or list of common providers in US. Also, I need guidance of selecting the type of life insurance (what type of policy do most people normally get). Thanks""

""How old you need to be for classic car insurance , im 22 and have a 22 yr old car?

?

""Insurance company does not want to pay for my car damages, what should I do?""

I let my mom borrow my car, which insurance is under my name, she crashes. She exchanged insurance info with the other driver. I called the other driver's insurance to make a claim to have them get my car fixed. As soon as I told the insurance rep what had happened, he hung up. I try calling them again only to have the rep say, we need to get the other driver's side of the story and hung up again. My car got really damaged, but the other driver's car only got scratches, I know it may not matter but nonetheless I would like to have them pay for my car damages. My insurance only has liability so I can't file a claim under my insurance. The only thing I have is a police report of them exchanging insurance info but no document stating in detail what happened and who is at fault, that's it. What should I do?""

Anyone know insurance companies that will sell life insurance to severely obese people?

Anyone know insurance companies that will sell life insurance to severely obese people?

Car insurance????????

I am a 16 year old boy and for my first car I got a 2005 mustang GT. All of the quotes I have gotten for insurance are between 4000 - 7000 a year. How can I get a much lower price for car insurance. ( please don`t say get a different car )

Can your health insurance company raise your rates after you get sick?

I've heard about pre-existing conditions and all, but what about getting seriously ill AFTER you have insurance? Let's say you're generally healthy, and already have heath insurance which you pay for yourself, at a reasonable rate. Then you get a long term illness, or get into a terrible accident, and need years of expensive care. Of course you keep your policy up to date... Can the company raise your rates by triple (or worse) if you get sick this way?""

I drive my moms car a lot should she put me on her insurance ?

well I talked to a police officer and he said that as long as my mom has insurance and as long as i have my license I can legally drive her car anytime but should she put me on her insurance policy what would be the point of this ? how much more money would she have to spend im 18 and she only has to pay like 400 bucks a year for insurance plus full coverage because she has a good driving record also the only reason i think she should put my on her insurance is if i hit a car or get in an accident her insurance will pay for it if im on the policy correct what about if someone hits me while im driving and im not on my moms insurance policy it wouldnt matter correct ?

What is the best 4x4 as a first car? Also cheap to run.?

I live in a pretty rugged region, and, for my intended job as a country vet it would really help to have a car tough enough to cope with the bumps and ruts. Now I know that the best 4x4 overall is the land rover defender and, money permitting, of course I'd have one. But to run and insure nearly all 4x4s are massively expensive! So far I've considered the old rav 4, a suzuki ignis, or the old fiat panda 4x4 and as of yet, i prefer the latter as it seems cheap to run, cheap to insure and also has the practicality of being small but robust. So if there is any other car better suited to this, ideally as cheap as possible to buy, run and insure, then I'd really be glad of the help.""

Can I use medicaid as a secondary insurance?

Hello. I live in the state of florida. I just found out im still covered under my mother's health insurance because Im under 24 and I am a full time student. I also qualify for and have pregnancy medicaid, but I want to go to a doctor with my moms insurance because I used this specific doctor for my last pregnancy. My question is, could I still use my medicaid to cover my co-pays with this ob/gyn?I called the office and they said they could send the bills to medicaid for what my mom's insurance doesnt cover. I dont have a job and can't afford to pay the co-pays/lab fees/hopsital fees. thanks""

Do I need car insurance the moment I get my provisional license (CA)?

I'll be going out for my provisional drivers license tomorrow, and I was wondering whether I need car insurance if I do get my provisional license. My parents are planning to allow me to get my provisional license, but won't add me to their policy until a year down the road. Am I allowed to drive alone with my provisional license as long as the car I'm driving is insured by my parents? (California)""

First car/insurance question?

http://westpalmbeach.craigslist.org/car/676277707.html im looking to buy this car for my first car, i currently have more than enough for it, plus i really have wanted a lancer. is that a good car? 2nd. do you need to pay insurance on a car that you dont use? im an avid driver, but i havent got my license yet, *2months exactly left*. if i get it, will i pay insurance for 2 months...without use? in the hypothetical scenario, where i wont even use my drivers permit with it with a parent of course.""

How would I insure my drivers license?

Hi, I live in Maine and was wondering if its possible (if at all) to insure my drivers license. I don't have a car but live with people who do, it would cost to much to be put on their insurance. So is there insurance out there for just a drivers license so I can drive someone else car.""

Named driver had crash. Should I tell my car insurance?

Last year my girlfriend has a car crash, she was not at fault. So she didn't tell her insurance company and claimed of the other party. So she is assuming her car insurance does not know. Now I am looking to get insured on my first car. If I add her to my insurance as a named driver the premium is about 200 less. The problem is she doesn't want me to tell the insurance company that she crashed, as they asked has the named driver crash. I am now worried I were to crash, they would see she had crashed and void the insurance. I am tempted just to get my insurance in my name and pay the extra 200 for peace of mind. She will not under any circumstance tell her insurer she crashed as she thinks her premiums will rise. But I have found out that the insurance companies have a database of all claims, so they can easily find out that she has crashed. She refused to allow me to put on my application for insurance that she has crashed. What to do?""

""I am 17 and looking to buy a muscle car in ontario, how much would insurance cost?""

I am rather new to driving but have one year of experience and have my G2, I don't plan on being under my parents my insurance. Also im not looking for an extremely power full v8. Just something like a 1999-2004 mustang that I can put a bit of money in to and add some pony's. How much would that cost in insurance? I also have a clean driving record and took my driver's ed, are their any other classes that could lower my premium?""

Can I let somone drive my car who doesn't have insurance? [Ontario]?

So the law says you can let somone drive your car if they have a license. If they get into an accident the charges are on my insurance. Make sure that if you are loaning your car to someone else that you first verify their license or you may be without a car for 7 days while it is in impound. Ref: http://find-a-driving-school.ca/10-ontar But law also states that if you are driving you must have insurance ... right? So for example... can I let my bro drive my car even though he has his G2 and is not insured. What are the consequences? Thanks!

How much would my insurance cost? (volkswagon knowledge needed)?

Hi so i am in the process of looking for my first car....now i am not spoiled i promise i earned all my own money...My friends father buys cars, fixes them up, and resells them. It so happens to be that he has a very good condition 2001 Volkswagon Passat W8 with basically everything you can get in a car. Sunroof, heated seats, memory seats, cd and cassette player, nice stereo system, auto matic seats, steering radio controls, and a few other simple things... The color is black. Now he is asking about 9000 give or take for the car.. I need help with how much my insurance could cost as a 17 year old. If it helps i'm not in it for the car as much as just something that looks nice and goes that i know wont break down....everything is new, the brakes, oil, everything all checks out....I know that the color and the model will have a big effect with what the cost is... I am pretty much an A to a B+ average student so thats good... I just want a general idea of what it would cost for insurance a month. Like i said the car is black and has stock rims, and has a W8 engine. Please and thank you...If you need information just say so""

Can you get life insurance if you have terminal cancer?

Can you get life insurance if you have terminal cancer?

What is the best but most cost-efficient insurance for a 22year old male driver who just got his license?

Used, older car (either 1990 honda or 1995 toyota). Just got his license. Want decent insurance but not outrageously price. Any help greatly appreciated - thanks!""

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. . .?

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. But the insurance card (the copy of insurance you keep in the glove box) don't have my name on it. Is this normal for insurance ...show more

What happens if I become a part time student while on my parent's insurance?

What happens if I become a part time student while on my parent's insurance?

2nd car insurance by Geico?

Hi, I have a 2005 Toyota corolla and have comprehensive collision damage waiver from Geico (My policy covers collision damage waiver for my rental cars,too). I'm planning to buy a new car this week. Can I drive that vehicle off the lot without adding the VIN# to my insurance? How much time I have before adding them to my insurance? I live in California.""

How/where can i get liability insurance as a massage therapist?

i am..well, was licensed (let my license expire because i'm moving out of state) in south carolina. i am moving to alabama and it seems like everything they require to be licensed is pretty much the same except i have to show proof of liability insurance before i can apply for the license. do i just call the same people i have my car insurance with? or can i go thru the NCBTMB or AMTA (whichever one the state of Alabama approves of?). please help.i didn't have to deal with liability insurance with the state of SC so this is new territory to me.""

What insurance information do I need for my driver's test?

The DMV specified I need insurance information...

How much would it cost to insure a harley Davidson sportster iron 883 if I'm 17 ? ?

Rough answers

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-would-individual-health-insurance-plan-cost-me-mcclure"

[tellmeyourstory-art-blog]

Amicus

What is the point of friends and relationships?

The questionable studies of Harlow was undoubetdly cruel but elighted an important insight to human affection. Can we live without it? The reason harlow preformed hi experiments on moneky’s was because taking a human in the most natural sociolofical form would be  ‘an infant’ because they are without external influence - TV, parents, toys. 

Harlow took a group of baby monkey from birth and put them in an elaborate set up with 2 mothers, One was a wired mother, who fed and provided milk, the other was cloth who’s only ability was to provide comfort. Thehypothesis was that hough the wire mother was scary and uncomforting the monkey would show love to it because it nourished them and gave them a means to survive. Proving that human love was based off of need. but surprising Harlow was wrong. The monkeys utilised both mothers equally, further proving comfort and affectio was something needed in the psche for love and survival. 

to want to belong somewhere, to find comfort. Today we do so by first finding it in family, and then as adults in categories, it’s how we met like minded people.

Groups, set aorund drinking culture, fitness or art. Still fear change just as the Neanderthals did, maybe theire categories  it was the hunters and gathers any anything new was scary, rejected and destroyed as it posed a threat to a specific way of life. For example how your fat friends relish and secretly don’t want you get fit or how the friends who drink a lot don’t want you to stop drinking. 

  but today, it’s divided by mroe and more categories.  When we wee young we dealt with a small kind of exclusion boy against girls, when we are older it’s the Introverts and Extroverts, who liek this magazine, or this celebrity and we form gorups and within those groups cultures, when really why do the categories matter at all. We are all humn and at the heart of it little animals trying to feel out places to fit in somewhere. 

I didn’t really feel like i belonged on anywhere, in my family or in friend groups. I was outcasted though I didnt realise until I was 13. In high school a rumor would go around about me that I was a lesbian on the first day of high school casting me as ‘dont play with’ Sometimes I wonder if it was my sister who intially spread the rumor since she was always at a competition with me for attention, I never felt it. She once turned to me and said ‘you know how were always pitted against eachother’ and I never knew what she meant.

She once bribed me in the bathroom as young kids with a $2 coin to stop pulling a face that would grab my moms attention and make her laugh for a secod, for my sister attention is what gave her validation, and to stop me from getting it away from her.

And above that I was weird. And people didn’tlike me. My didn’t so why would i believe or act in away that anyone else did. A very self pittying view but at the time it was true none the less. Having friends was extremelydifficult for me because of my mom too. When I  had finally made a friend group one of them asked ‘my parents saifd your mom was a mistress’ i had no idea what that meant so i asked my mom who lost it at me

WHO SAID THAT she blarred, eventully getting the number out of me and absuing my friends parents.

Eventually even my sister friends werent allowed at our house because theyw ould leave crying. 

gossip started, but still no one stepped in or did anything. 

Friendships can seem mysteious, we talk about clicking, but there there is something at the heart of friendships that seems important to identify, vulnerability. it’s easy to assume what makes us likeable is who we are on the outside, good looks, nice car or public acclaim, strengths accoplisment and things we are porud of.. this impresses but it isnt what draws others to us.. the more we get to know someon we are able to depart from the official story  and start to reveal awkward truths.

unfortunately this can work in 2 ways, with overwhelming support and positivity for our positive traits and negative. Friends, can be a great healthy support and fulfill our very sociological need to belong somewhere. Friends can also be a great support for validating unhealthy values too.

My mother was still able to find a group of friends who validated their own alcohol addiction ad sadness together and becam a stronger support for denial rather than lifting eachother up. 

I’d always dread coming home from school and smelling the cigarette smoke and drunken laighter from the varrander. Mid day drunken senssions of sad people pissing their years away. My mom blamed my sister and I had no problme telling us that or her friend who believed her.

One weekend away I had come home from a sleepover and found one of these friends cleaning out my moms house. I had been gone the entire weekend and she had supposedly trashed eevrything. Her friend was shaking her head and calling me a digusting pig as my mom had told them I had done it. I tried to explain id been away how could I have done it, but being a child in the eyes of ‘adults’ they didnt believe and continued on the lies to keep inhibiting their digusting problems.

Soon my mom would have sex uncaring if anyone was around. On top of my christmas presents, as i cried from the top of the stairs, her fleeting relationship with a man who was just a pathetic and lonely theyd smoke weed and scream loudly un caring there was children in the house, that it was the middle of the day and how truly disturbing a child leanring about sex is by listening to unhibited parent not caring about boundaries.. only their own desires.

Soon there was naked people everywhere, cigarette smoke vodka stained carpets and a deeper denial floating around everyone who gravitated that disgusting house. Her besy friend soon became her lesbian lover would drink with her ll night laughing about how shit life was. She’d call me after my mom died and continue, she’d tell me how she removed my moms tampon and other disgusting detils of their love life i had no need to know. But she needed someoone to vent to, and someone to understand. Anyone. And that desperatess left to an unhinged release of lines being crossed, when anyone would think a responible adult should be incontrol of where they are drawn. 

None of them truly understanding how daming that is for a young girl in her formative years. Had it been openly talked about maybe it would have been differnt, but it was always loud voices behind a locked door. 

I’d learn how to pick locks becauseof this.. or be louder. I’d bury myself into my guitar and sing sond of her being sober outside her bedroom door all in a failed attempt to get throgh. to someone. 

It was agonsiing screaming for help on the floor with no one to hear me. I still feel so much pain playing guitar out of fear the songs I did play were unimportsant, unlistened to and didnt help anyone. 

We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The terminally ill person maybe pittied and empthaised with and by family and friends but only he who is truly sick can know what it is like to suffer that fate.

The lovers deserprately try to fuse with eachother in hopes of creating a destiny in a sing self transdence but do so in vain as they inevitbly die alone. Only you can experience what you are experiencing, and it is th efate of every soul to suffer in solitude.

I retracted inwards, more and had the self realisation it was Ok to be alone and feel lonely,t hat really. All I had was me in this wrold to rely on, and that was ok, which shaped my beliefs today on being lonely.

 I like the feeling. I believe being lonely can be a choice & isn’t sad at all. Many people have mixed judgements about this, some will think I am shy, others insecure.. but I am a deeply confident person these days,  I've struggled with myself, and, at the same time I often wondered -- s there something wrong with me for not forming {meaningful || intermittent} attachments?"

 For me it's come down to the fact that I'm about growth and progress and moving forward. Since I've been young, I've never really felt any particular attachment to any one thing in particular. Such as, the typical hometown-hoedown; or taking-up supporting a local team with fervor or passion. Same goes with my relationships friends or more than friends. 

It's taken a while, but I'm comfortable with this for the most part. I don't want to be stuck in any one mindset or frame of mind, nor do I want to placate or pacify myself into being stagnant. "Oh this is just okay since it's what everyone else does." It seems in 2017 It's still looked down upon to be 'alone', as if there is something wrong with you. And although I believe having social skills to carry yourself in a large groups is important, it's not the same thing. Reminds me of a Cranberries song: "Everybody else is doing it, so why don't we."is simple: "What's popular is not always right, and what's right is not always popular." -- Do I want to be a follower, or have my own mind? Am I myself, or am I someone else? To make friends - good ones, you truly do have to enjoy your own company in order to provide the vulnerabilty of true friendship, our hidden truths and obscrities.

 I (personally) abhor parrots -- hearing the same thing over and over again from people who don't like answering pertinent questions which would impinge parrot logic (ignore that which is inconvenient is used too often by too many people, IMO). Make sense? (I see nothing wrong with this -- though it might feel wrong compared to the typical or average social perspective)-- there's really nothing wrong with it tp  fill the sociological need to belong grow with self value & respect first, you can accept the right people and let them come and go throughout all phases of it.  I fall inlove with people who aren’t afraid to say no to me, I fall in love with my friends who help me learn.