#because the rest of the party thought it was hilarious and it was

[midweastindigo]

steve and eddie dressing up as gomez and morticia, respectively

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

There was a joke in the Wriothesley Not-Birthday arc that didn't make the cut but it basically was someone being like "YOU WERE SKINNY??" when looking at Sigewinne's toddler pictures with her dad (Neuvillette is the one taking them, obviously). And Wriothesley is like "I was in the hospital for like a month. No shit."

[lxvvie]

Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Part 2:

Thinking Simon is asleep when he isn't. Or so he says. Case in point: Simon in all his cattiness made you his pillow. Your nails were working miracles scratching along his scalp which had him dozing off and lightly snoring. Or so you thought. You heard him grumble, "Why'd you stop, luvie?" when you moved your hand. He'll deny he was asleep, too, like the peepaw that he is.

To piggyback off the first point, Simon will sometimes quietly grab your hand and put it back on his head if you stop scratching his scalp. If you stop a second time, he will have experienced a betrayal man and cat were never supposed to know, and it's Affection Denied™ for the rest of the day lmao.

Texting each other when you're in two separate rooms because you don't feel like talking out loud. Sometimes, you'll text him some crazy shit that'll warrant him leaving the room he was in to silently judge you.

Absolutely loving to watch him shave in the morning because Simon is so sexy when he's concentrating, eyebrows furrowed, and those brown eyes staring intensely in the mirror.

You and Simon shit-talking each other in bed because you'll complain about being hot with the covers and cuddle pile you two have going on but never really doing anything to change it. You two actually can't get a good night's sleep without being up under the other.

Simon banning you from watching horror films because, for the hundredth bloody time, he didn't hear shit, love. He actually did and it was the neighbors but he can't be arsed to get out of bed.

Speaking of neighbors, it's you and Simon lying in bed, listening to the neighbors make sex and when it's done, Simon goes, "Mm. A new record," and he sounds so unimpressed which causes you to guffaw. Oh my fucking god—

Getting in the dog house with Simon because when your hands are cold, you stick them down in his pants to rest on his thighs because it's hilarious to see him jump and that's what he gets for not turning the heat up. Simon counterargues that he did turn it up. Three degrees.

Introducing Simon to the wonders of Spa Day at home because his skin needs some TLC. Simon looking like someone's stressed auntie with a ciggie dangling from his lips, wearing a really comfortable bathrobe you got him, and eye masks on.

You two treating it like the end of the world whenever one of y'all gets sick (Simon to a lesser extent) because how in the hell will you get your daily dose of affection?

Going all out and having a whole-ass reveal party for your newest edition to the family, Pup. You gave the boys shirts to wear in celebration. You wore Dad, Simon wore... Mom????, Kyle got Uncle, Soap got... Big Brother??? and Price got... Grandfather. Grand. Father. "Congrats, Cap'n." "Shut up."

Pranking Simon by calling him some random guy's name just to see his reaction. Simon stops what he's doing, judges you in Ghost, and goes, "Who the fuck is Anthony?" After that, it's on sight for Anthony. Whoever the fuck that is. Simon gets you back, though, and he's all, "Ask Anthony" "Oh? You love Anthony, too?" "Sorry sweetheart, Simon is taken. Better go to Anthony." Real funny, asshole.

Simon thinking you're about to go down on him. Not the way he thinks, though. You've situated yourself between his thighs, put his legs on your shoulders, and lower your head to... blow raspberries in his tummy. Like... whole-ass tunes. The disappointment on his face is immeasurable. But then you have him chuckling because you're fuckin' adorable looking up at him like that and your raspberries are ticklish.

[twizzie-lairs]

My Darling, My Honey

Alastor X Fem!Reader (Part 14- FINALE!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |

Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 - Final

Part 14:

A few weeks had passed by the time you were fully recovered. In those weeks, the hotel was busy and bustling in preparation for the wedding.

To make sure you recovered properly, Charlie insisted that she and Vaggie be in charge of wedding planning during this time. You didn't have any objections to it, your only requirements were that it was kept low-key (meaning a small wedding with only those closest to you guys) and that it was to be a simple and short ceremony with Charlie as the officiant.

While the rest of the gang were busy going about their normal lives and helping out with some preparation here and there, Alastor had your belongings moved to his room and took care of your injuries and saw to your recovery personally.

It broke his heart to see how badly you had been injured prior to your arrival at the hotel. He also felt extremely guilty about how roughly he had treated you, accidentally making some of your injuries worse temporarily. To heal his heart and mind, he had to heal your body first.

The two of you spent so much time together, hardly ever spent a moment apart- you two had a lot of lost time to make up for after all. Often as Alastor tended to your injuries, changed your bandages, and even helped bathe you to ensure you wouldn't slip or fall as you got in and out of the tub- you two exchanged stories of all kinds. Stories from when you were both alive, your pasts when alive, and so much that had happened in the decades in Hell that had passed when the two of you were separated.

As the date of the ceremony approached, after you had mostly recovered, matters required you to leave the hotel more often.

For example, when it came to dress shopping, Alastor was very insistent that he had to come with- he was still very paranoid that if you were separated from his side that you would come to harm. Though with enough pestering- Charlie was finally able to convince him to stay at the hotel so that the wedding dress shopping party only consisted of you, Charlie, and Angel.

Shopping with the two of them was a fun memory you'll never forget, with lots of laughter because of the hilarious contrast between Charlie's wholesome comments/tearing up and Angel's teasing/cat-calling (in a loving way- of course). Though when you finally tried on the dress, even Angel had no witty comebacks to respond with, both him and Charlie were left speechless.

Angel and Charlie weren't the only ones speechless - when those who were invited to the wedding showed up the hotel, they all had their mouths gaping open at the amazing decor. They few guests assumed that the invitation they received in the mail was a prank!

(Charlie may have needed to ask some favors from Lucifer for the decorations- though he couldn't hide his disgust as to who his daughter was asking him to do this for... His distaste for Alastor was always apparent. But who are we kidding- Lucifer can't resist Charlie's puppy-dog begging eyes no matter what.)

Jovial jazz music filled the air as Alastor walked out into the main lobby, "Why hello! It is so good to see you, Rosie! ... Mimzy."

"Oh Alastor! How come ya never introduced me to ya darlin' (y/n) before!" Rosie flashed her signature smile and sauntered over to give Alastor a tight hug.

"Yeah! Geeze, Alastor, after all we've been through, you never thought to bring her over to my joint or ya know, let me know she was even down here! I've missed the gal too, ya know!" Mimzy stomped on over to Alastor, hands on her hips as she glared at him.

"Hmmmm. Ah yes, Mimzy. How could I ever forget to bring her over to your... "sophisticated"... bar where she "definitely wouldn't" be in danger?" Static noises started to interrupt the music that had started playing earlier. Alastor would be lying if he said he was happy to see Mimzy. He knew she was important to you, but part of him can't help but blame her for your early death. Not only that, but she always had a habit of bringing trouble wherever she went, forcing him to clean up her messes. He didn't trust her to keep you out of danger.

"Well! If I do say so myself, I am parched! Where can a lady quench her thirst in this joint?" Rosie piped up to break up the tension as she walked around the room and examined the decor some more. "Alastor, I really love what ya guys did to this place- stunning work, really!"

"Oh my gosh, hi, Rosie! Nice to meet you again, Mimzy! It's been so long!" Charlie seemingly burst out of nowhere and shook both Rosie and Mimzy's hands. For once Alastor was thankful for the princess's ability to not read the room.

"This way, this way! The ceremony will be held in one of the ballrooms, follow me!"

After being relieved of Rosie and Mimzy's presence, Alastor disappeared into the shadows to retreat into this radio tower where he would remain until it was time.

With Rosie and Mimzy's arrival, the last of the guests had arrived. Yup, it was a very small group- just as you had requested (much to Alastor's relief. He could easily handle people, but you knew large groups of people irritated him much more than he would let on).

Meanwhile, Angel was helping you get ready. He knew his way around makeup and beauty the best out of anyone in the hotel after all.

You sat on a stool as Angel fussed over all the little details of your hair and makeup. As he did so with remarkable speed (due to his many arms), you found yourself smiling.

Not only was it the day that you would finally exchange vows with your beloved Alastor, but you found yourself smiling as you reminisced on the journey that led up to this moment- how you've come to truly cherish your newfound friendships with everyone at the hotel.

Angel, who became a very close friend to you after you two had many heart-to-hearts and shared a fondness for cracking jokes, something you discovered over many nights at the bar together. Often after you two were done at the bar, you'd have beauty/spa nights which often led to more gossip sessions- something you were never able to indulge in when you were alive. Occasionally even Cherri joined in on the gossip sessions- practically bursting the door down if she ever felt like stopping by unannounced.

Husk, was someone you could always trust him to give his honest and objective opinion on anything you asked- which you found to be invaluable whenever you showed him any of your art. Though he often didn't understand the abstract complexities you drew, it was always a great source of entertainment for you- his confusion apparent as he tried to interpret it seriously before giving up with a "Fuck it, I don't know anything about this bougie shit!" - always causing you to erupt in laughter every time without fail.

Charlie, of course, was always your ray of sunshine and was someone you very much respected. She saved your life without knowing who you were, regardless of the potential danger. You feel as if you'd never be able to repay her kindness, so you offer to stay at the hotel even after you recover and help work however you can after the wedding.

Vaggie, you felt a kindred spirit in and also respected a great deal. Someone with such an intense sense of justice and duty was truly a sight to see, you could always see it in her eyes. She was often busy, so you hadn't been able to spend as much time with her as you would have liked to so far, the few times you were able to sit down with her were always a pleasure. Whenever she needed love/relationship advice, she came to you. Funnily enough, Charlie did too, so you were flattered that the two girls liked and trusted you so much.

Even Nifty, who always made sure to dust you or pluck some random out-of-place hair whenever she saw you, stopped calling you stinky! You wondered if it was because you spent most of your time around Alastor...?

"Alright! Hehe, you look absolutely stunning if I do say so myself, doll face!" Angel stood back from you to admire his work with a huge satisfied grin on his face.

He spun you around to face the mirror that your back was previously facing, "Hey, whaddya think? One of my best works yet!"

You chuckle and lean in closer to the mirror, "Wow... Angel! Gosh... you never cease to amaze me!"

You then stand up and give Angel a hug, "Thank you... Angel... this means a lot to me..." Angel pulls back from the hug and nudges you in the shoulder, "Hey now toots, no crying on me now! We just finished your makeup, don't go ruining it now!"

"I know! I know! Haha!" You laugh and smack him back playfully.

"Ah shit, it's almost time, we gotta get a move on, come on!" Angel quickly grabs your bouquet with one hand and takes your hand wit another and leads you down what feels like a maze of corridors. He lets go of your hand when the two of you reach a set of double doors that indicates it's one of the ballrooms and not just a regular room.

Upon hearing your arrival, you see Charlie's head peek out of the door. After seeing you standing there, she quickly sneaks of the ballroom. "FIrst of all- oh my gosh (y/n)! You look BEAUTIFUL! But it's time for your entrance, lets go!" Charlie offers her arm out to you. You link your arm through her's, then you look over at Angel who hands you your bouquet, "You got this ,(y/n)." He said with a wink before slipping into the ballroom.

You took a deep breath and looked at Charlie who gave you a heartwarming nod as she took a step closer to the door, hand grasping the handle. "Ready, (y/n)?"

"I've been ready for decades."

Upon entering the small ballroom, soft jazz music filled the air and you gasped as you took a look around the stunningly decorated space. Charlie was very insistent that this be a surprise and by god, you were speechless- you never could have dreamed of a more beautiful space to finally exchange vows with your beloved Alastor. You were starting to get misty-eyed already!

The very same Alastor who was now all dressed up in a new formal outfit and stood at the other end of the ballroom with his hand outstretched towards you. It took all the self-control you had to keep you from running into his arms right then and there.

Walking to the front, you pass by the small group of friends both you and Alastor had invited to this exclusive occasion. You could see Rosie clutching her hands to her chest in awe, Mimzy was trying to fight back tears as she kept dabbing her eyes (ruining her makeup in the process), and the rest of the hotel members. Angel was clinging onto Husk for dear life as you heard a quiet whisper from the spider that was accompanied by a dramatic sniffle, "Oh god I never knew I was capable of feeling so sappy."

You chuckled at the sight of Nifty, who volunteered to be your "flower girl". She was scurrying all around, scattering petals but then immediately picking them back up again like it was the best game ever!

"Oh, be still my dead-yet-beating heart" You thought to yourself as you finally reached the front of the ballroom and were able to place your hands in Alastor's. You'd never seen Alastor this dressed up before. You always thought he was attractive but oh my god, was this a whole new playfield that you didn't even know was possible!

Charlie then went to stand next to Vaggie, who were both your officiants for the wedding. A bit untraditional, sure, but this was Hell- everything's a bit unconventional here.

The music fades to a quiet level before Charlie pipes up, starting the ceremony, "Thank you all for coming to celebrate this momentous occasion with us today! Today we are here to commemorate the marriage between (y/n) and Alastor!"

"In a shocking twist of events, the last few weeks have proven us wrong that yes, even the Radio Demon, is still capable of love." This remark from Vaggie earns a few chuckles from those sitting in the guest seats, earning a glare from Alastor as he tightened his grip on your hands. You rub your thumbs over his hands in reassurance, causing his grip to relax again. You smile at Charlie and Vaggie, nodding as you signal them to continue.

Charlie cleared her throat before she continued, "Ahem! Yes! But with that, we also gained an amazing new friend here - (y/n)! And I just want to say (y/n) that I am SO proud of you, you've done nothing but bring lots of joy and laughter into this hotel. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we love you and appreciate you (y/n)! Alastor is a very lucky man and we are honored to be a part of your journey!" You could hear some applause and a holler that likely came from Angel- because you heard a scoff from Husk that followed immediately after.

"That's right, Charlie! Because we respect you both so much, we'll not delay you two love-birds from finally exchanging your vows any longer." Vaggie said as she dragged Charlie away to take a seat in the audience.

You take a deep breath and look into Alastor's eyes, your heart racing a mile a minute.

"I honestly thought I would know what to say by now! I've been dreaming of this day for decades!" You nervously laugh out loud before continuing, "All I can think about now is how thankful I am to have met you when we were alive. You gave me a spark of light and hope in the darkness that I never thought was possible in my life. Meeting you gave me the courage to break free from the cage that kept me trapped like a poor little bird who couldn't fly free. You showed me what true love should be like- even if it meant eating a few people along the way... haha. But you treasured me, you gave my life meaning again and I'll always love you. I'll always be your's, Alastor."

You look down at the floor, embarrassed that you spilled your heart out in front of so many people. Now it was Alastor's turn to reassure you with a gentle squeeze of the hands.

"My dearest (y/n), now, I am not usually one to be so 'sappy'- especially in the company of others, however, I think I can make an exception for you this one time."

Alastor took one hand, the other still holding your other hand, and gently lifted your chin back up so that your gaze would be back on him. To say that this made your heart skip a few beats would be an understatement!

"It may still shock you all, but yes, (y/n) is indeed my beloved that was taken from me all too soon back when we were alive. When I buried her body and held her in my arms for what I thought was the last time- I said these words that still ring true to this very day and will continue to do so forever more-, ' In life and in death, I am forever yours, as you are forever mine. I love you, (y/n)' " You feel the tears start to well up even more, threatening to burst forth at any second, all while not breaking eye contact with him as he continues on.

"I truly relish in this opportunity to finally make you mine, as I had wished to do so for what feels like an eternity. Much like you had described dear, your surprise appearance in my day-to-day life truly shook my world. Why, upon meeting you for the very first time, hearing your voice felt like it was akin to listening to most beautiful music I had ever heard- truly! As a radio host, I was very familiar with many musicians, but no instrument or vocalist ever held a candle to you my dear. No ever has and no one ever will, and I will be sure to protect you at all costs this time, ma chérie ..."

As he trailed off, your face immediately flushed red all over at Alastor's vows. But before you had time to process what was happening, Alastor manifested a new pair of rings and slid one onto your left hand, replacing the previous one. Then with a snap of the fingers, the other matching ring appeared on his left hand.

Somehow the rings were even more beautiful than the one you had before. Upon seeing the sight of both your and Alastor's hands finally wearing matching rings, you burst out into tears, overcome with emotion.

Alastor chuckles before pulling you in for a kiss- shocking everyone in the room, everyone making a collective gasp. Even your own eyes were wide open in shock, before you then relaxed into the kiss in Alastor's embrace.

It wasn't before long that the room was filled with cheers, hoots, hollers, and clapping.

Pulling away from the kiss, Alastor leaned his forehead against your's- just a brief sigh of contentment escaping his lips as he stared lovingly into your eyes. You sniffle as you return the smile, chuckling at the sensation of your cheeks feeling sore from smiling so much and so intensely.

"I truly adore you with all my heart and soul, dearest. Thank you, for being the one to complete me."

Tag List:

@mysticwitchcraftco @lil-bexie @lonely-burger @cherry-cola-100 @angelxx7 @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 @avitute @justhellacesome @mcrtrashfan @spookysisters @galaxywing-has-adhd @ggyalruu @trashbin-nie @fudosl @night-shadowblood-writes2 @memospacexx @yuraaahs @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @ghostdoodlen @moschinski @cannibalcoyote @missam @reader3 @yourworstgf @justaproudslytherpuff @milkspong3 @xdolls-crownx @1potato2rulethemall @1rxsemary1 @xxcrispxx @zardward @robin-the-enby @mylenapony11 @silvermoondarksky @bootylimpics @amarokofficial @euphoricaphrodite @blueyobsessedgirly @need-a-therapist @knifukiller @huayan @hwrimonsjer @no1sillybilly @kimmikreates @icarus-has-falllen @watchinthestarz @lady-lik3r @yunxi-11085 @luzzbuzz @tsukilover11 @plntmxrss @houmi @demoarah @papas-ghoulette @trashbin-nie @d-darlingyourbleeding @hallothankmas

[that-house]

My name is Invino Veritas, the greatest pop sensation to ever grace the radios of New Space City. What’s New Space City? It’s like Space City but in New Space instead of normal outer space. Try to keep up, idiot.

My incredibly normal and lame parents, Hal and Sarah Veritas, thought they were soooo funny giving their daughter a name like Invino, and then a traveling wish-god said “you think that’s funny? i’m about to be hilarious” and cursed me so that I have to always tell the truth as long as my blood alcohol content is above a .000000000000000000001. Yeah, you read the number of zeroes right. I can’t even breathe in the same room as a PBR without confessing that I do in fact think I’m smarter, hotter, and more talented than everyone else, which makes me fun at parties.

I was really pissed at that guy for ruining drinking for me forever, so I was majoring in homicide at NSCU to become a totally badass assassin and kill him, but my real passion was always music. When the EP I recorded in my dorm room, My Roommate Fucking Hates Me, caught the ear of a bigshot producer, I dropped out and sold out immediately. I bring an honest sort of grunginess to the New Space City music scene, by which I mean that I pay my stylist $700,000 an hour to make my hair look just a little bit messy before I step out on stage. Nothing too crazy of course, I have an image to maintain.

Smash cut to five years later and I’m six chart-topping albums into a seven-album deal with Lucifer the Lightbringer. Yes, that Lucifer, from the bible and, more famously, those really schlocky 3190s devilsploitation porn flicks. You know, Horns of Desire (3193) and the rest? Yeah, that Lucifer. He opened a record company with the money he made selling silicone casts of his film-festival-winning penis, and my blend of earnest naivety and raw ego was exactly what he was looking for in a star.

When he sent the paperwork, I said I’d have my lawyer look at it, but I didn’t have a lawyer and was too embarrassed to admit it, so I just waited a week and signed it without reading it. Turns out when my seven albums are done I go to Hell forever and so does everyone who’s ever listened to my music. Even on the radio. Or in an advertisement. Sorry. So yeah, I’ve really been procrastinating on this last one. To all my fans out there: make sure you preorder Always Read the Fine Print, because I don’t think I can cash those checks once I’m in Hell.

On the bright side, I think if I play my cards right I can convince him to greenlight a behind-the-scenes documentary about the making of the album, and that’s basically a free pass to do whatever I want for a year or two as long as it makes for good footage. Obviously if anyone kills me before the album is done, the apocalypse is averted and only I go to hell, but think about this from a utilitarian standpoint: sure, a few trillion immortal souls are on the line, but I think this is going to be some of my best work yet. Plus, I hate getting killed. So whoever’s sending assassins after me, could you please stop?

[lonelychicago]

r/relationship_advice

u/hot_pilot84 • 2d ago

MY (40M) BOYFRIEND? (33M) IS IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND (36M) AND IM THE THIRD WHEEL

I'm new to this reddit stuff, but a coworker suggested it, and I thought I'd give it a try. I probably should start saying he's not really my boyfriend??? We just started dating a few weeks ago, and it's been... interesting. But I really like him and he is a nice, sweet guy.

He recently came out, so I've been trying to be patient and understanding. But recently it's been hard to spend any time alone because his best friend is always there.

Now, I also like the guy, so I don't really mind, and to be honest, I kinda suspected from the first moment they were in love with each other. They both talk about each other all the time, and when we hang out together, I can't help but feel like intruding on an intimate moment I shouldn't be part of.

Like, our second date was at his sister's wedding and the best friend spent most of the time glued to our side. He has a son who my date adores, so they danced together for most of the party as well. It was cute, but again: it felt like intruding on a private moment.

Then we had a relaxing night at his place, eating take out on his couch and watching a movie.... when the best friend just, came in. No notice, no knocking. He has a key to the place and he just walked in. It was awkward at first but we insisted it wasn't a big deal so he stayed for tge rest of the night.

By the time I was leaving, my date was telling him to just get comfortable on the couch.

Another thing is. My date? Situationship? I don't know how to call it anymore. Well, I recently found out that he is the legal guardian of his best friend 's kid? In case anything happens? I wouldn’t find this weird at all if it wasn't for the fact this man has parents and sisters and other close family members that also have a less chance of dying along with him on the job. (They work together.)

Also. Recently, the best friend broke up with his girlfiend and called this guy in the middle of our date. So, he crashed again.

All of this to say, I'm not really hurt? This was new and sure, I like the guy. But to be honest my expectations were low. This is fairly recent, so it's not like my heart is broken and I just lost the love of my life. No, that's not the problem.

I just don't think these two know they're in love with each other, and it’s starting to get really uncomfortable for me. Should I say something? Should I talk with my date about it or just break things off and keep it vague, but that we should still be friends? Should I talk with both of them at the same time and confront the situation?

This is a situation I don't even know how to begin to get a handle on. Does anyone know where I should start?

rctherpcliarredditor • commented 1d ago

to be honest, i don't really have any advice for you. i just find this gay drama really hilarious. thoughts and prayers for you, my man 🙏🏼🙏🏼

twohottakes • commented 6hrs ago

definitely have a conversation alone with your date. point all of this out to him and tell him you don't wanna get in the middle if there's deeper feelings involved for someone else. all the luck to you, man!

storyreddit23 • commented 2hrs ago

talk to ur date!! and pls, post an update if u do. i wanna know how this ends.

[sunkissedscribbles]

You Get Me So High*

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

genre: smut x teeny tiny fluff

tw: smut, unprotected sex, mdni, nsfw, not exactly proofread

word count: 1361

summary: a friends with benefits relationship with only one rule; don't fall in love

song: You Get Me So High - The Neighbourhood

a/n: guys this is soooo short, my heart's aching for not making it longer

masterlist

dividers by @chachachannah

It is supposed to be a casual arrangement with Mattheo, you know it, nothing more than that. A cycle; back and forth between your bed and his. Back and forth between inside jokes and feverish kisses. All back and forth, like the movements of his hips against yours every night as he thrusts so deep into you that you feel his size in your stomach while you squirm under him out of pleasure with your fingers digging deep into the flesh covering his thick trapezius muscles, leaving marks for the next day. It's a routine at this point, one you know you should give up on because you have broken the only promise set.

You both have agreed to this friends-with-benefits setup under the condition that if either of you fell for the other you'd have to stop. And hell had you broken the agreement before it was even set. But how could you not possibly fall for him when he's on top of you every night, peppering your neck with kisses and by your side every day like the supportive friend he is?

"You have to confess, Y/N," you reminisce about the conversation you had with Pansy the other day.

"I know but if I tell him we have to stop he'll know I've fallen for him and that'd only lead to him not wanting to be my friend anymore because it would be awkward," you groaned as a response. "And I'd rather have him as a friend than not have him at all."

"Or," Daphne chimed in with yet another suggestion as she stepped back from her closet, "you could just wait until he confesses."

You snorted at that, rather unattractively. The thought of Mattheo ever falling for you just sounded hilarious in every sense to you. "He's not the committing type."

"He's been shagging you for the past two months and you already act like a couple with all those inside jokes and dates-"

"Those aren't dates," you insisted but Pansy ignored you and continued.

"-you two go on to Hogsmeade. He bought you Chocolate Frogs when you told him you had cramps. He's never done that to any of his girlfriends."

"Pansy's right," Daphne added. "People would call this a relationship."

Your friends made valid points yet here you are again only a few days later, sitting in the library, still thinking about their words over your Transfiguration essay you've been desperately trying to get done in the past hour but Mattheo, sunk into your thoughts didn't let you because for your teenage heart it is more important to make the right decision when it comes to your love & sex life.

You suddenly feel a hand tap your shoulder and when you turn to your left to see who it is, you don't see anyone but turning back, you sense someone sitting on your right on the chair next to yours. "Hey, princess," Mattheo grins at you, his hand resting ever so casually on your thigh already.

A smile creeps upon your lips when met by his pretty face. "Hey, pretty boy."

"When are you done here?" he peeps over to your essay and when he states you've barely even started writing a dissatisfied pout appears on his face. "Princess... it's Friday, there's a party tonight and you seriously want to spend your time with the homework instead of me?"

You roll your eyes at his words of feigned offence and shake your head. "Of course not. I'll be at the party, I promise."

"Good, good. Don't forget to wear something nice for me," he grins again before leaning in for a kiss. He's not dumb, he knows you want more of that, so he's certain you'll be at the party, wearing a nice dress just for him to rip it off you once you two reach his dorm in the hurricane of heated kisses and risky touches.

Without anything left to say, he leaves and you stay there, with your forehead hitting the desk in despair once he's out of sight. Oh, you're fucked.

The party's a blast, that's for sure, you wouldn't argue about it but you still ditch it with Mattheo after a few shots with your friend group. His hands are tangled in your hair as he shoves you against the wall. "Look at this nice skirt. I love it when you dress for me," he mutters into your ear as he rips your tights off you without a second thought about how they cost you money or how maybe those were your favourite pair with the silver stars on them. Not even bothering with the zipper of the cargo mini skirt you are wearing, he picks you up and after pushing everything on the floor, he sits you down on his desk he spreads your legs for himself, grinning at the sight of your exposed thighs. He slides his hand up your inner thigh until reaching your thongs which he pushes to the side to find your entrance, still with your skirt on. You gasp the moment he inserts two fingers at once, not teasing you or torturing you with long foreplay tonight. "That's it, don't hold back," he whispers into your ear, his breath hot against your skin, then starts covering your neck with kisses and the prints of his teeth. He's not one for leaving hickeys on your neck, not when you two are in a casual arrangement, at least. He prefers marking you under your breasts and just above your hipbone.

You squirm against his touch, letting out soft moans as his fingers move in and out of your pussy, his palm brushing against your clit here and there. He knows your body like the back of his palm, knows every reaction. He knows he has to switch the moment your back arches, so, he pulls his fingers out and frees his hardened length from the captivity of his pants before positioning himself between your legs and inserting himself. You take him with yet another moan and he grins against your neck in satisfaction, murmuring something unintelligible and incoherent as he thrusts deep inside of you. Your bodies melt together and fade into each other as your skirt rides up your hips the more he gets it on, giving you practically no chance to get your part of the act and move against him. He's fucking you mercilessly, gripping your hair and you have nothing to say against it.

You get driven over the edge sooner than usual, but he's been rougher and more demanding than usual, too. He watches your pretty face as you come around him, feeling you tighten which is the last string for him before his body gets overwhelmed by you and comes, moaning your name. He knows he has to end things between you two but why would he do it without fucking you goodbye saying goodbye?

He pulls out and lets out heavy exhales into your neck before muttering into your hair almost inaudible, snapping you out of this state of euphoria. "We have to stop doing this."

Your heart skips a beat and starts beating faster in fear, breath still ragged because of the excitement of the previous minutes. He fucks you senseless then exclaims you have to stop doing this? Your brain gets foggy now by being overwhelmed with a mix of frustration and confusion, it's not the haze of what you've engaged in just now. "Huh? But why?" you manage to muster.

"The agreement, Y/N," he shakes his head, searching your face.

You feel like your heart is thumping in your ear as you lean in for a kiss, now a slow, romantic, less desperate one. He's taken aback a little by your sudden actions, he has not expected you to kiss him like that after he has practically told you he'd broken the only rule you two had set by falling in love with you somewhere in the lines between being your best friend and enjoying your advantages like a man.

"Why did I get that?" he asks, confused after you pull back from him.

"For breaking the agreement."

tag list: @mqstermindswift @reys-letters @inksoakedparchment

comment to be on the tag list <3

[toxycodone]

Let me let you in on this, chilchuck x siren/mermaid reader (gender neutral) but he’s been entranced by their song

Chilchuck x Mermaid!Reader

Oh he’s down bad.

Like not only is Chilchuck entranced by the song (the half foot hearing got him. Rip.) But he honestly finds you so beautiful?

Like it’s just common for mermaids. They’re supposed to be enticing to seduce adventurers. He thought he wouldn’t fall for it but…nope.

Your webbed hands, cold/leathery skin, your gorgeous iridescent scales…

All of these things are suddenly not…monstrous to him. It’s like they’re truly beautiful to this man.

And when he thinks about it…he just can’t help but be swayed by your beauty and song. Is he…in love?

Definitely not opposed. Maybe Laios isn’t the only monster fucker on the team.

But yeah. You got him wrapped around your finger. Whether you keep him as a pet, drown him and eat him, whatever. Doesn’t matter. He’s letting it happen.

However…he’s going to be a lot more careful if he’s able to live to tell the story. Someone asks why he immediately puts in ear plugs when he gets to the fourth floor and he’s just like “damn. mermaids.”

(Give him a knowing smile and a wink when you see him Mx. Mermaid. Because that would be hilarious. He’s gonna go beet red and be grouchy for the rest of the day w his party.)

[tcustodisart]

Because the farm is really Shadowheart's ending I was thinking, what would be Connie's post-game thing (he loves the farm life to pieces, but I was thinking, you know, if he was a companion what he'd be talking about during the epilogue party). And I came up with this idea - he writes and illustrates the very first Guide to the Birds of Faerûn. I don't want to torment you with my words, so if you're interested, the rest is under the cut. It's long but there are some additional doodles there.

About the book:

The book is basically like Collins Bird Guide. Including very detailed descriptions of what sounds the birds make.

Connie's already in touch with a publisher (recommended by Volo)

While Shadowheart does proofreading to see if it's digestible for non-bird-obsessed people, Connie's stepfather and Arnell help him with fact checking.

Connie was consulting Halsin while writing about waterfowl.

The book's dedication reads: "To my dearest wife and our four dogs, eight cats, nine chickens, six pigeons, four sheep, Daphne the milk cow, the odd little squirrel, Buttons and last but not least, our crow."

He thought that dedication was hilarious.

After publishing the book, he's been getting at least one letter every week regarding it.

Thanks to these letters the book gets improved with further editions.

He gets invited to various schools across the country to hold lectures but he almost always declines. (Public speeches aren't his thing and he also doesn't want to leave the farm that often.)(He made one exception for Gale because he asked very nicely and didn't take no for an answer).

Far in the future nobody remembers him as one of the heroes who saved Baldur's Gate. He's being remembered as one of Faerûn's best ornithologists.

Other companions reactions:

Lae'zel genuinely liked the book. So much in fact, she read it more than once.

Tara hates Mondays.

I projected on Karlach how hard it is to read books sometimes.

The scary part of the book was the birds of prey section.

Jaheira didn't even read the book, but she does a bang up job pretending she did. She's still very proud.

Shadowheart read it so many times during proofreading she could recite some parts with her eyes closed. For a week she had nightmares about geese.

Details:

Because whenever I make a drawing with a proper background I like talking about the details I put there. So:

The picture of magpies on the wall is the same one Connie gave Shadowheart in this comic. She kept it in the same book she kept the first night orchid he gave her.

That brigs us to the night orchid next to magpies. It's the same one.

There's a doodle of Shadowheart and Daphne near the window.

As references for all the feathers in this drawing I used feathers from my own collection.

Wooden duck is obviously the one Halsin gives you in the epilogue.

The bird drawings are from this drawing I made almost 3 years ago.

Oof, thank you for reading all that, here's one last doodle:

[angeliconstell]

Deadly Prank - Danny Johnson x F! Reader

Words: 2.96 K

Setting: It's Halloween night and you're home alone when you get a prank call from your roommate Danny.

Warnings: NSFW, Minors do not interact! Fingering (f! receiving), some knife play, tit play, vaginal sex, smut.

A/N: This is probably going to be my first time actually posting a fanfic on here. It's going to be kinda slow, not going straight into the NSFW. I've been writing for awhile, just never got around to actually posting. Anyways, sorry for the steaming, hot sin and I'm open to requests!

"It's Halloween night! C'mon, you're supposed to be dressing up and going partying!" Your friend was almost mocking you through the phone. You had decided not to go to the Halloween party that night due to your ex possibly being there. He caused enough shit for you and you already made an agreement with him that you would never be around him again. Not really an agreement, but more of a promise because he wouldn't dare even agree with you on boundaries. "I don't want to go. You already know why." Your voice was sharp when speaking, you wanted to get your opinion across your friends thick skull.

"Find then, puss. I'll make sure to send you some pics from the party." And with a click, it was silent again, she had hung up on you yet again out of not getting her way. You settled back on the couch, flicking through the various channels on the television. Most of the channels were playing horror movies and classic slasher films since it was Halloween day. Besides Hallmark, playing the cheesey romance Halloween romcoms that they always played. With an annoyed sigh, you tossed the remote onto the floor, settling on watching Rob Zombie's version of Halloween. A wonderful version of the classic.

Everything seemed perfect for a moment, you, a good movie, a soft blanket, and popcorn. The smaller moments of peace are what made you happy when your roommates weren't around. All of that was instantly ruined when your phone started that annoying ass buzzing again. You almost put it on mute until you caught the glimpse of your friends name from earlier and her profile picture popping up. She was calling again? Usually when she got pissy, she wouldn't talk to you again. Maybe this time it was an actual apology instead of a "fuck you, I hate you" from her.

"What do you want?" You answered after making her wait until the last second before the call went straight to voicemail. Because if she was going to be petty, so were you. You turned the phone on speaker, resting it against your chest as you turned your attention to the TV.

Nothing. Silence.

The call was just silent. Maybe just a butt dial? "Hey! You there, asshole!" You yelled into the phone, knowing that when you did that, you pissed her off. Still nothing, but in some sort of response, heavy breathing. It sounded like the breathing was coming from one of those cheap, plastic Halloween masks that scare actors would wear at scare attractions. This was probably a prank. It was probably one of the guys your friend hooked up with messing around with you. "Very funny. Call me when-" You were cut off by a wet sound from the other side of the call.

It sounded like someone had spilled water on the floor, or your friend had booty called you while she was puking from being shit faced drunk. "She's was a pretty girl, y'know?" A gruff, deeper voice at the other end of the phone wasn't what you were expecting. "It's a shame she was out by herself. Right outside your house too. How pathetic."

You quickly hung up. You didn't even bother hearing the rest. Whoever was pulling this joke on you was absolutely sick if they thought this was hilarious. You could still feel the lingering, darker thoughts at the back of your mind. "What if she was in danger and I just left her?", you had though to yourself. You quickly pushed the thought as you turned your attention back to the TV. Surely it was a joke. A damned sick joke. It all felt so surreal, until your phone buzzed again with the call.

"Who ever the fuck you are, stop! This joke isn't funny!" You answered, your anger and fear making you more hostile than needed. "Woah, woah. Settle down, baby girl. Just wanted to chat." The voice on the phone paused for a moment. "You hang up against and I'll gut you like a god damn pig, got it?" His words were immediate ice down you spine. You were tempted to hang up, but in a way, you were actually fearing for your life.

"You were the last person your little friend called. You denied her proposal to come with her to that little college frat Halloween party. You could've saved her, but she died alone." The voice had started to chuckle, low, deep, taunting you with the underlying guilt you now had. He was right, but in a sense of him trying to manipulate into feeling guilty. "She was alone. Just like...you." The lights cut out, everything blended in with the darkness of the night besides the faint blue glow of your phone screen lighting your face.

All was silent except for the panicked breathing that was now coming from you. You were praying to whatever god that existed that it was just a shitty prank from your roommates. "I recommend you hide, sweetheart."

Click.

He was gone and you were left alone in the mind numbing silence that followed. You looked around to check if any of the blinds were open, thankfully, they were not. So whoever was outside, couldn't see you. You darted upstairs, your hands trembling on the railing as you practically had to drag yourself upstairs. You were so panicked that you just wanted to collapse and cry. Tears burned in your eyes. The cool air was harsh on your lungs, leaving a burning effect. You paused as you heard something. Was that footsteps? Fucking Christ, that was footsteps. You let out a panicked scream as you heard the heavy steps crashing across your apartment to where you were on the stairs. It was so dark you couldn't see.

You ran away like a frantic, blind bat. Grasping at anything and everything you could to lead your way to your bedroom. That was your safe place, you need to get to the fire exit in your room to climb out of your apartment. The footsteps behind you stomped and moved like a mad man. You glanced over your shoulder just in time to see the figure slide and clash into the wall. He was moving so fast that he was slamming into everything to get to you.

The mask.

God dammit, you knew that mask. Your roommate, Danny, was wearing it for Halloween. He was still chasing after you like a chicken with it's head cut off and you still felt like you were about to either pass out or shit your pants in fear. Your breathing came out in a panting force as you ran up the stairs and down the hall to your room, slamming the door. It was too late, Danny had grabbed the door frame, you accidentally smashing his fingers in the door. He let out a pained grunt, throwing the door open. The sound was deafening when the door slammed up against the wall.

Welp, that was going to be an issue with the landlord, a hole in the wall. But did that matter to you or Danny right now? Not at all. You were too panicked by the prank going too far. Danny grabbed a fistful of your shirt, lifting you and tossing you to the bed like you were a toy. As you hit the bed, you let out a harsh grunt as the pain shot through your body. "Fuck you, Danny. Really!?" You yelled out, still panting hard. You felt like you wanted to cry from the amount of fear he had caused you. You actually thought you were going to die.

Danny chuckled deeply, pulling off his mask. He seemed, probably as equally as much as you were, scared. "Jesus Christ. I got scared cause I thought you'd call the cops on me." You both ended up laughing hysterically from the fear on both sides, both his face and your's covered in sweat. "You're a cute little thing when you run like that." Danny teased, one of his gloved hands gripping your legs. That was him. Flirting just because. In all honesty though, your relationship with him was rather unique. You'd go weeks without contact and as soon as he got back, he would be railing you until you saw stars.

Once the adrenaline from the fear slowly fades into a dull thrum in your skull, you finally allowed yourself to calm down for a second. You still wanted to slap the hell you of Danny for scaring you so badly. "Sorry, baby." He finally said, his hands lifting one of your legs up where he could slowly rub the muscles in your thighs. "Is a rub supposed to be compensation for scaring the piss out of me?"  You said as you laid your head back against the bed, closing your eyes and letting him work out the knots in your muscles. Not that you were complaining, it did feel nice. "Maybe. I could do more?" Danny questioned on return, it was more of a asking permission question than it was just a normal rhetorical one.

You just nodded, wanting to see where this was going to lead to. You could already somewhat guess where it was going to go, it started with the dull, burning ache that was in your core. The only cure to that? Danny. Danny smirked at your silent answer, but that wasn't going to satisfy. He wanted to hear you say it. "No, no, baby girl. I want you to say it. Say for me, 'yes, Danny'." You rolled your eyes at his response, a snort of laughter coming from you. "Yes, Danny. We can do more." And with your works, a grin split across Danny's face. He already had it dead set in his mind that he was going to ruin you. Inside and out. He gripped your ankle, lifting your leg up into the air so your legs would remain open wide just enough where he could see the outlines of your folds through your shorts.

"Do as a say. Sit still. And remember, scream for me." Danny pulled one of his gloves off, his calloused hands moving down the smooth curves of your thigh, inching closer to your core. You were already squirming as his fingers teased you, your hips bucking outwards. "I said, sit still." Danny's other hand came down, pushing your hips down into the mattress, locking you in place. "Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I just want you to fucking fill me already." You shot back. It was your first time being a brat with him, not listening to his words. Danny glared down at you, a mix of anger and surprise at your sudden behavior.

"Then maybe-" Danny paused as he reached under the robe of his costume he was still using, gripping the cool, wooden handle of his pocket knife. He brought it out, waving it in front of your face as it came open with a click. "You'll learn how." Danny held the handle of the knife in his mouth before using his hands to push your legs apart. He kept his gaze on you the entire time as he took the knife back out of his mouth. Danny hooked the thin fabric of your pajama shorts and panties with the knife. With one quick movement, it was cut open, and you were left exposed to his burning gaze and the cool air. "Such a pretty little pussy." Danny cooed to you, almost like he was simply trying to own you with his words.

You could already feel yourself tremble with anticipation, the burning in your core getting stronger by the minute. It was such a burning, hot, almost painful feeling between your hips. The familiar coiling in your stomach was taking place. Danny's fingers were already sliding between and spreading a part your wet folds. "Danny, please." God, you were already begging like a little bitch and he hadn't even done anything to you yet. Danny's dark eyes flicked up to your's, meeting your pleading gaze. "Begging already?" He wasn't going to make you wait, he was already growing desperate enough when his erection was so tight in his pants that it was almost painful for him. Danny's fingers delved into your pussy, eliciting a shuddered moan from your lips. He used the thickness of his fingers to his advantage, using one of them to ring around the outside of your entrance to stretch it out before adding a second finger. You felt the sting of him stretching you out, preparing yourself so it wasn't so hard to take his cock later on.

With each curl, pump, thrust of his fingers, it brought out a new wave of wetness out of you that coated your slit along with Danny's fingers. "God damn, you're fucking perfect. Y'know that?" Danny brought his fingers out, making you release a small whimper from your quivering lips. Your inner walls now clenched at the sudden emptiness. Danny kept a steel grip on your thigh to keep you from closing your legs while his other hand was busy unbuttoning his pants. Your legs parted more, raising up your aching entrance up to Danny. "Remember what I said at the beginning?" Danny asked as he fumbled with his pants with shaking hands, eventually his erection sprang out, bobbing between your legs.

"You said... listen to you, sit still." You knew there was something else you couldn't quite remember. You were too focused on his throbbing member that rested against the hood of your clit, Danny rubbing it against you slowly enough where the precum beading at the top would slicken you up. "That's not all, doll. I said to do as I said, sit still-" Danny paused as he gripped his cock, tapping the pink, swollen head against your clit, making you moan out. "And scream for me." With that, Danny lined himself up, sliding his cock into your aching pussy inch by agonizing inch. You were going to scream alright, you already wanted to scream as he bottomed out inside you, his cock head kissing up against your insides. Your moans were already music to his ears, providing him with enough determination where he wanted to fuck you senseless. So he did. Danny let out a deep growl with each long, hard, deep thrust, slowing building up speed. The jolt of electric pleasure caused your eyes to roll back and flutter shut, making you hiss through your teeth. The sounds of your pussy taking in every single inch of Danny's cock so well filled the room.

"Fuck, Danny! Fucking hell!" You mewled and whimpered out, your limbs hooking around Danny to hold on for dear life. Danny had to keep himself from yelling right along with you, his main focus was your own pleasure. With a quick pull, Danny yanked up your shirt, revealing your breasts up to him. Your nipples grew hard at the sudden exposure to the cool air. Danny's mouth immediately found your nipples, sucking on them like a starved man. This added on more and more of that intense coil burning heavily inside you, causing you to desperately to crave release. The feeling of his lips and tongue working over your breasts, leaving dark red bruises across your skin, combined with his cock pumping into you with reckless abandon, was already growing to be too much. You were so desperate, crying out to Danny as an orgasm wrecked your body, your moans growing louder with growls. The electric pleasure shot straight up through your body, felt like it was bouncing from your core, to your hips, and up to your breasts.

"Good girl, fucking beautiful girl." He wasn't done quite yet, Danny was going to make sure you were going to be ruined by the time he was done with you. A quivering, wet puddle of nerves. His hands were all over you, clenching at your ass, pulling them apart in desperation to try to get even deeper inside you, up to your breasts where he moved his mouth away. Danny panted heavily with each of his rough thrusts into your wet slit, a string of saliva connecting his mouth from your nipple. "Fuck, oh fuck. Fuck, you have great tits, great body, great everything, baby. Just a bit longer." The praises fell and moans of pleasure slipped out of his mouth, his face buried between your tits as he mumbled soft words of praises to you. Danny could already feel his cock start to throb, indicating that he was about to either paint your insides or will have to pull out of you.

But Jesus fuck you felt good.

Your pussy was so warm, so wet, it felt like it was almost begging for Danny to just cum right there inside you. He let out desperate, whining sounds as the friction of your inner walls clamped right around Danny's cock. Everything eventually all came crashing down right to him, his hips jerking back quickly, his cock leaving you empty with a wet pop. Danny grunted as his thick, hot seed sprayed out against your pussy up to your lower stomach.

He collapsed right on top of you, you both left a panting, steaming mess of exhaustion and nerves. Your hands interlocked into Danny's hair, pressing your cheek up against his head. You could feel the burning pleasure you once had slowly fading into a dull hum, your emotions and everything finally coming back to you over again. Danny fucking the sense out of you felt great and all, but you were left with one thing as your mind cleared up.

"What the hell did you do to my friend?"

[bylrlve]

Warning! Spoilers for Stranger Things 5 mentioned,

Rewatching episode 2, and I’m genuinely staggered by how many times Mike peeks at Will. It’s very clear his mind is on Will, in fact. I am also staggered by just how many small byler details are in here.

His whole face drops after no. 4 too, as @starbylers observed here.

I also want to include these @chirpsythismorning gifs from the roller rink scene, as they’re brilliant:

Mike watching Will get out of the van, and seemingly offering a hand to him.

Mike openly watching Will as they take their skates.

(X) (X)

These are very deliberate acting choices from Finn Wolfhard, and he was certainly doing it on instruction.

Some other notes on 402:

The transition from Mike and El being fake -> Murray looking up looking like he’s experiencing his Seeing Clearly -> Robin talking about Vickie laughing ‘and not like a cheap, fake laugh, but a real, genuine laugh’, right after we saw Mike hiding his genuine disgust at burritos for breakfast behind a tone of fake laughter.

Mike’s whole face just drops into an unhappy, spaced-out espression when it zooms in on El - this is after Will ignored his sock joke (video here by @buckybxarnes)

As many have observed, Mike and El look genuinely miserable when viewed from Angela’s perspective, as opposed to the shot of them skating with Will miserable behind them

It’s occurred to me that in s2, 3, and 4, the byler plot really takes off in episode 2. I’m wondering if that’s also the case with s5 - I’ve reconsidered my theory that the Mike + El rooftop scene takes place after the hospital plot in ep 2, as I’ve heard that the paparazzi at the filming site were told it was in episode 1.

The door slam/open transition between Joyce going to the bank to get the 40k random for Hopper, utterly singleminded, and Mike barging into the womens’ bathroom, being kicked out, and subsequently starting an argy-bargy with Will as opposed to continuing to prioritise El… well!

The disparity in time is so interesting. El counts off 185 days since she last saw Mike - which is roughly six months, as is canon within the show (Sept-Oct 1985-March 1986). And here Mike is, saying ‘you knew she was having trouble for, like, a year’ and Will saying ‘it’s been a year, Mike’ and, in 404, Mike saying ‘the last year has been weird.’ It’s pretty obvious the last one is Mike referring to their fight nine months earlier, plus the time prior that Mike had spent pulling away from the rest of the Party to focus on El. The second one is Will potentially referencing the time that elapsed since their fight - even if it’s moreso subtext from the writers. What, then, to make of Mike saying Will knew El was having trouble for, like, a year? What subtext could be meant by this? I’d love to hear your guys’ thoughts because u can’t quite deduce this.

Mike listing off everything Will did is so hilarious given the surveillance he carried out all day on the boy, and given the fact that poor El being humiliated publicly and assaulted with liquid before she skated off bawling did not, apparently, ruin the day. On second thoughts, I understand what Will meant… she’s in trouble having Mike’s gay ass for a boyfriend.

What’s striking me now is that this fight + El’s iconic roller skate moment, are the real emotional climaxes of this episode’s M/E/W plot. It could have been Mike finding El and comforting her before she lashed out at Angela. It could have been him talking to her afterwards. It could have been at the house - him following her up to her room and silently comforting her until she fell asleep. No, no. Mike and Will airing out their grievances (and Mike betraying which of the two truly emotionally affects him more) + El handling her own shit, while Mike thoroughly disapproves.

The way that Will just wants to be Mike’s friend, but it’s Mike making it so deeply weird.

The way, also, that they stick together at the rink even after the fight, and Mike openly is more preoccupied by Will in the van. I’ve seen it observed before: the parallel between El and Will staring out the same window in the van crying: Mike looks at Will in the shot. He does not look at El in the shot.

I think it’s hilarious that Mike ends the fight by feigning concern for El - he offered her no comfort whatsoever, actively stood away from her when she was waiting for Jonathan and Argyle to arrive, ignored her crying in the van, and of course:

She didn’t look fine.

Mike and Will are blocked together, not Mike and El

The sincerity of Mike’s concern over El juxtaposed with the rank falseness of ‘no, that’s…that’s not true, maybe I was a little upset in the moment’ etc really sticks out - the defensiveness is reminiscent of the tone he took with Will during the fight, but even then he was more sincere-sounding because he was more emotionally affected.

Bylers don’t talk enough about the insanity of ‘who… who said that I didn’t?’ In context, thinking logically, Mike is very likely referring to Will here (the bullies were shouting at her, he could hear what they were saying)- and why would his mind immediately go to ‘Will thinks I don’t love El, and has told her his suspicions?’ Why would he take a defensive tone?

Seriously, 402-403 M/W/E may well be the plot that (potentially) spells out byler endgame the most.

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚

part 1 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️

summary - you begin to spiral as you are betrayed by the two people in your life, causing you to question if everything was a lie.

warning - ANGST, !SMUT BUT CHEATING!, heavily detailed cheating, heartbreak, betrayal, bad thoughts, swearing.

18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 2

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

Do you remember the pain of your crush rejecting you? The pain of a man you like, liking someone else? The pain of your boyfriend leaving you for someone else? Or the pain that you feel when you find out your partner is cheating on you? The pain that only love seems to cause. Because you know that pain extremely well, that pain has only embraced you recently. Like a flame wrapping around your body, slowly slithering inside of you, and burning your insides. That afternoon STILL haunts you, no matter how many times you try to push it out of your mind; the thoughts, the touches, the feel, the smell, everything is still so alive and killing you inside. It was the day you understood how powerful love could be if used improperly. You understood why so many people were afraid, why so many protected themselves against it. Some people don’t change… They just find new ways to lie. 

Your best friend, Sarah, who you had known since you both were five, your mum’s having met while watching you on the playground, watching how you both clicked. Your bond had only grown stronger the older you got. Had come into town after having planned to hang out for much needed girl time and you had invited her to stay at yours and Johnny’s house.

You were rushing around the house ensuring that everything was set up, even though Johnny had told you everything was done. You huff. “Baby, are you sure everything is ready and perfect?” You asked your husband, your fingers entangled with one another from nerves as you played with them. 

Your husband was Johnny Storm, famous ex–playboy. When you had met him. He was annoying, he was hilarious, he was the world’s biggest arsehole, he made you want to scream, he would ruin your day and save it at the last minute, he drove you crazy, he was out of his mind, you hated his guts, and he was everything you wanted. Somehow, you made it work. You had thought he changed.

Johnny grins, pulling you into him causing you to sink into his hold. “Yeah, babe. It’s going to be fine. Why are you stressing so much?”

You shrugged, biting on your bottom lip. “I haven’t seen her in a while. I just want everything to be perfect. I want her to feel at home.” Oh, how those words would come back to bite you on the arse. 

He kisses the top of your head, “She will, babe. Don’t worry.” 

Once everything was sorted and checked about twenty times. You hear a car pull up and quickly head towards the door and as you swing it open, arms wrap around you and pull you into a hug. You both squeal, squeezing each other. Your chin rests on her shoulder, eyes closed and smiling. Yet, her eyes were open and set on your husband with a smirk. You pull back, smiling brightly as she mimics yours. “I’ve missed you so much! I’m so glad you could make it!”

Sarah licks her lips, eyes flickering over to Johnny’s before going back to yours. “I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity!” You didn’t know that her words seemed to have a double meaning. You helped her with her bags, leading her over to the guest room which is next to yours and Johnny’s. The two of you chatting away as you catch up, your voice filled with such happiness, such pure joy. 

The afternoon rolled around, and you both decided to start getting ready, after spending the day in the pool before dinner, you both desperately needed to wash the chlorine off. You let her shower first while you picked out your outfits, once she was done, a small towel tightly wrapped around her body. You headed into the bathroom, her close behind so that she could do her makeup. It had become a routine that you had grown used to growing up together. Neither of you were bothered by it. 

You stripped once you had turned the shower on and ensured it was hot enough, when it was, you got in, the heat caused steam to coat the glass, making it foggy and hard to see through. You could only make out blurry shapes and Sarah’s fuzzy figure. You decided to take a longer shower, dinner wasn’t until later and you wanted to make sure everything was properly shaved, washed, and rinsed. 

You were so zoned out while lathering yourself with soap that you didn’t notice Johnny sneaking into the bathroom and standing behind your best friend. His arms moved around her body as he began pressing kisses onto her exposed flesh. He pressed his bulge into her towel covered arse, groaning quietly. Sarah leans back into him, covering her mouth as he bends her over the counter slightly, lifting one of her legs onto it. “Keep doing your makeup, babygirl.” Johnny grunts quietly, running his fingers through her soaked cunt. 

You moved under the water, sighing as it hit you, watching the soap roll of your body. Johnny’s head turns as he checks to make sure you haven’t noticed. His hand strokes up and down his hardened member before he slides into your best friend’s cunt. His gaze turns back to hers, watching as her mouth falls open. He smirks, thrusting all the way in as he leans close, whispering into her ear, making sure to keep their eyes connected. “You missed feeling me inside you, didn’t you? You’ve gotten so fucking tight, such a good girl for me.” She moans softly, rocking back into him. Johnny bites his lip as his thrusts pick up, the rush of being caught fucking his wife’s best friend makes him so fucking hard. He wondered if you would catch them, wondered how you’d react.

His eyes roll back at the thought, hands gripping Sarah’s hips tightly as he pounds into her harder. “Fuck, babygirl. I’m gonna fuck you so much while you’re here. Gonna pump you so full, make up for lost time.” One hand leaves her hip and moves up to her hair, gripping a fistful, pulling her back against him, she still tries to apply her makeup as he fucks into her harder and faster. Her eyes flutter, desperately trying to make sure she doesn’t screw up anything, her mouth falls open as Johnny begins to pound into her sweet spot, her hand drops and she grips onto the counter, pushing back into him, meeting his thrusts. “What a little slut.” He grips her hair tighter, nipping a sensitive spot on her neck, groaning when he feels her tighten around him. “You like getting fucked by your best friend’s husband while she’s in the room, huh? Like being my dirty girl?” 

Their heads snap over when you open the shower door slightly, their movements not stopping, Johnny only fucks into her faster, a shiver rushing through him at the thought of your eyes connecting with theirs, watching him ruin your childhood friend. 

You grab a small cloth to rub some shampoo out of your eyes, not noticing the two in the room. You close the door and go to continue your shower until a moan cut through the air. Your brows furrow, wondering if you imagined it or if someone really did moan. Your question is answered as the moan is followed by a muffled shut up and you begin to focus on the glass, squinting to try and see who is making the noise.

Johnny growls lowly, his hand covers Sarah’s mouth, cupping it roughly as he fucks into her faster. His other hand slides between her and the counter before finding her swollen clit, rubbing it. Their eyes focused on each other’s as he rests his chin on her shoulder. He fucks and looks at her so intimately, more intimately than his own wife. Johnny’s thrusts become rougher and sloppier as he feels his end approaching. He had missed her sweet, tight cunt. Leaning forward, he whispers. “You better fucking take my cum and keep it in you while you are with my wife, I want to see it still there when I come into your room tonight. Understand, slut?” Sarah whimpers, fucking herself onto him as she nods.

Your eyes widen and tears immediately fill them as you see the figures through the glass. You had wiped some of the steam off only to see your husband fucking your best friend and your hand shoots up quickly to cover your mouth as you try and muffle the sob that tries to escape. You couldn’t pull your eyes away, no matter how much you wanted to. It was like watching a car wreck, you wanted to look away but no matter what your eyes would not stray. You felt sick, your stomach twisted and your heart broke. They didn’t seem to care that you were in the same room, that you could catch them at any moment. You DID catch them…

Johnny grunts, fucking deep into her soft cunt. He feels his tip twitch and his balls tighten, she felt like heaven to him. “I’m going to cum, babygirl. You gonna be a good girl and obey me?” She nods and he lets go, burying his cock deep inside of her, his cum spurting out and painting her walls white. His head falls back, cock still twitching as cum continues to leak from his tip, his hand still rubbing her clit as she cums around him, squeezing his thick cock with her tight walls. With a groan, he slides out of her and tucks himself away. “Good girl.” 

Sarah spins around and smiles, she gets on her tippy toes and places a rough kiss on his lips, as though she was claiming what was hers. His arms wrap around her, pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss. Johnny pulls back, smiling down at her with a look not even you had seen. With a wink, he leaves the bathroom and Sarah rushes to fix herself, trying to make it look like nothing happened while you sit broken on the shower floor. 

You pull your knees close to your chest as silent sobs slip from your lips and your eyes close. You couldn’t get the image out of your head, them fucking and kissing was engraved into your brain. You don’t want to think about it, but you know deep down that this was probably not the first time, especially with how comfortable and familiar they already seemed with each other. Your throat clenches as the need to throw up hits you, you gulp as you try to stop it. 

“Hey! You nearly done? We gotta get ready or we’re gonna be late!” Sarah’s voice cuts through the rushing water and the tower of thoughts filling your mind.

“Y–” You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the quiver that attaches itself to your voice. “Yeah!” You reply, not having the strength to say anything else. You watch through the glass as she leaves the bathroom, probably to get dressed or fuck your husband again. The thought causes another wave of tears to fall, how had your life turned upside down so fast? You quickly finish up, not daring to go close to the area they were. You could see there was some cum still on the floor and it had made you feel like throwing up again. You couldn’t bother with makeup at this point, you hurriedly got out of that room and into your bedroom.

You could hear the game on downstairs as well as Johnny’s shouts, so you guessed that he was down there and your supposed best friend was here, in your room… Where you sleep next to your husband, falling asleep to whispered, ‘I love you’s’. The clothes you had picked out for her were already on and showing off an extreme amount of skin. You could’ve sworn those clothes were bigger. “Finally! How do I look?” She turns, hands on her hips. 

You had to pull yourself out of your thoughts when she spoke, you could feel yourself slipping. You swallow and nod your head. “...Great.” How were you supposed to act around her now? She was staying for the weekend, and it seemed they probably weren’t going to stop. Was this why Johnny hadn’t slept with you since your wedding? Your eyes widened as you thought back, you hoped your thoughts were wrong, prayed even. “Uh… I might have to cancel for tonight.” You cough, hands falling to your stomach as you put on your well–practiced sick face, you had to play it out that you felt sick. Which wasn’t really a lie… “I think I might’ve come down with something… Or the food I ordered last night might’ve not been so good…” 

Sarah pouts. “Well, that sucks.” She looks down at her clothes. “I don’t really want this outfit to go to waste though, do you mind–?” You shake your head, wanting, NEEDING her to leave. If it were any other situation, you would’ve questioned her selfishness and lack of care, but it really just made sense on why she was fucking your husband. Your grip on your towel tightened as you held it closer to you, following her out as she leaves. You didn’t miss the way Johnny looked at her or how she smirked at him. Has it always been like this? Were you really that blind? You quickly utter a bye before hurrying past your husband without sparing him a look. 

But you weren’t so lucky. “Aren’t you supposed to be going with her?” He had followed you, watching as you slipped your pyjamas on. You didn’t like him seeing you naked, not that you now knew you weren’t the only one. You hadn’t looked at him once, but he didn’t seem to care.

“I… I felt sick so she went herself.” You chewed on your bottom lip to the point it began to bleed, but before Johnny could see, you sucked your lip into your mouth. You crawled into your bed, suddenly feeling dirty as you peered down at it. Had he brought others into it? Was it tainted like your marriage? You quickly shook off the thought and laid down, curling into the mattress, and pulling the blankets closer to you. You needed to think and cry, you didn’t know what to do. Your life had just been flipped upside down and you had no one else, where would you go if you left him? Have other wives felt this? Had they stayed until they had things sorted or left and figured it out on the way? Johnny nods, shrugging before he leaves. How could he switch up so fast? You didn’t sleep with each other, but he still at least gave you a kiss or made it seem like he cared. Was it all an act until she got here? Or did he care but she had clouded his mind? 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

[qqueenofhades]

I'm watching the results come in for the French legislatives first round, and I have been following American presidential race and supreme court from afar. I am depressed. Please say something wise that will give me hope. I never thought to live through times like this.

Anonymous asked: Hey I know you said you’re avoiding posting about politics so absolutely feel free not to reply, but any tips about not getting hopeless? Especially when the fellow young people in your life are all clamoring to talk about how both parties are the same, they won’t vote, etc, etc (😑)?

Welp. It seems that what the people want to hear at this point is some Wise Words From Internet Grandmother Hilary, so... I will do my best to see what I can come up with. It bears repeating, as I have said many times before and will do so again, that I still have heard no better advice for living through The Horrors than the Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." Because, yeah. That, in its simplest essence, is it. We cannot control The Horrors. Individual people have never been able to control The Horrors, and five thousand-odd years after the invention of documented human history, here we still are, making the same stupid fucking mistakes. That is pretty maddening to deal with, and if you try to think of it like that, it is impossible to wrap your head around and it will only drive you crazy. So, then. What?

I will freely admit that I am scared too. Despite my best efforts, the post-debate furor wigged me out, I had to log off all social media and news sites for most of the weekend, not look at anything aside from one site I trust for two minutes, and try to get myself back in an okay headspace. So yes, rule number one: STOP DOOMSCROLLING. Please get a muzzle on that little voice in your head that says you HAVE to look, you HAVE to read everything, you have to KNOW JUST IN CASE HOW BAD IT COULD POSSIBLY BE. Then you look at stuff that makes you upset, and that leads to other stuff that makes you more upset, and then there you are in a stew of anxiety and anger and everything else that doesn't help. Do not look at the Bird Site Formerly Known as Twitter or news sites or anything else that is liable to have stuff that upsets you, especially in Panic!!! moments like this. It is designed to make you feel worse and it obscures the fact that nobody actually knows. Like, I devoutly hope that the anonymous "adviser to a prominent Democrat" and the NYT editorial board and everyone else screaming about how Biden should drop out right now step on ten Legos a day for the rest of their lives, but they also DO NOT KNOW (and given the NYT nakedly admitting to a personal vendetta against Biden for not giving them an interview, everyone can see exactly what this crass and unbelievably stupid sabotage attempt is, but yeah). Even if they get quoted in prominent publications, they do not know what is going to happen. They are not prophets. The NYT has, as noted, showed its ass 800 times before and keeps coming up with polls that are so ludicrously pro-Trump that it's becoming a cottage industry to debunk them. They are crass and cynical and trash and all that, they have vested interests, they have a platform, but repeat after me: WE DO NOT KNOW "FOR A FACT" THAT EVERYTHING IS DOOMED AND WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN IF WE DO NOT LISTEN TO THE ALMIGHTY NEW YORK TIMES. In fact, the NYT has been so fucking wrong so fucking many times that at this point, I would bet on it being the other way around.

As part of my Bad Headspace Night on Friday night, I did picture the worst-case scenario of Trump winning, American democracy being overthrown, fascists around the world being emboldened, etc. It was a nasty mental picture and I didn't like anything that would come about if it did, but I had to remind myself that even if it did happen, well, the world would still be here, and good people who care about its future would have to do something to make that future happen. It would be ten times harder and it would be the result of another unimaginably evil and cynical fascist sabotage campaign, but... those are not exactly unprecedented in human history. (See: making all those mistakes over and over again.) People in the past were faced with those same exact moments where everything seemed monumentally hopeless and doomed for a generation, and they fought back, and they won. That's the thing. Fascists are evil and awful and terribly unnecessarily destructive, but they are not unbeatable, and they never have been. If we make the choice to resist them, then, well, they can be resisted. It will not happen by posting vaporous screeds on social media, or sitting on your ass and waiting for some miraculous savior/revolution/whatever to swoop in and save you, but it can happen, and it can work. That's what is very hard to remember in the current Horrors, but it's the way it's been for as long as there has been evil. It is not the be-all and end-all of the human experience and never will be.

Likewise: if a la the second anon you're being surrounded with people who are saying stupid things and making you feel worse: just don't be around them any more. It's that simple and you should do it. You can unfollow people who are posting defeatist rubbish, or you can avoid spending time with people railing about how everything is already doomed and voting is useless, etc. You may feel guilty because these people are your friends or you don't want to cut off contact, but you need to do what is best for your mental health, and if all you hear is BS, then, yeah. Pull the plug, cut the cord, do whatever you want. You do not owe anyone else your headspace, your attention, your mental health, or anything else, especially if it is demonstrably idiotic and incorrect. Find ways to do something. Go out and volunteer. Put down the phone (again, this cannot be overemphasized) and stop looking at doomerists on Twitter who get their engagement fix from making you upset and angry. Read a book, watch a TV show, visit a friend in real life, take a walk outside (if you don't live in a furnace, which unfortunately a lot of us do right now). Just sit and close your eyes and meditate. Stretch or move your body. Drink water. Super basic ordinary things that get you away from the increasingly frantic death spiral mindset and put you back in the reminder that things are never over and there is still a lot of time for everything.

As I said: I am doing this myself right now. It is not easy. I know it is not. I wish that we lived in a kinder timeline where this was not necessary, but as Gandalf says, nobody ever wishes for this and yet it happens nonetheless. But we can still control how we react to it and identify the things that are doing their best to make us feel terrible and doomed and hopeless, and make a choice to move away from them. We do not know what's going to happen, no. But we also do not know that everything is doomed, and you know what, it usually ends up not being that way. So that's what I can offer for now. Courage.

[cambion-companion]

could I request for you to write an scenario in which Raphael does not die to Tav nor their party, but in an other similarly humiliating circumstances, and Tav when learning about this desperately goes to save Raphael from his father by bargaining with Mephistopheles? (hilariously in a very sad way, I assume this, is the only moment that Mephistopheles would ever "value" Raphael's life, but then again that is devils for you) and Raphael's confusion at the whole thing, someone taking a terrible bargain to save him, just… because they… like him…??? (bonus points, if Tav still has a crown to willingly give Raphael XD)

It's beat up Raphael hours huh? (also Korilla will be fine)

Hi there love. This turned from a drabble into a oneshot haha

Have fun running to Cania to pick up your wayfaring devil!

Raphael x reader (gn)

Korilla had come to you.

Broker and bruised, battered and bloody. Her long curly hair matted with mud and dried viscous.

“Help him.”  Her first words, rasped from a throat raw from screams.

“Korilla!”  You caught her weight as her knees buckled, lowering her gently to the ground.  The Dwarven woman wasn’t your friend by any means, but she had been your ally.  “Who needs my help?”  You couldn’t fathom who she might be referring to.

Surely it wasn’t Raphael. It couldn’t possibly be the enigmatic, self-assured cambion.

Korilla’s answering rasp dispelled any doubt. “My master.”

A fog of shock settled over your mind, your hands loosening around Korilla’s shaking form.  She whispered the truth into your ear, her bruised lips trailing her blood onto your clammy skin. With fading voice Korilla told of the attack, Raphael’s demise and his imminent doom.

“Portal. Diabolist.  Cania.”  Korilla’s breaths grew short as she fought valiantly once more against the oncoming black.

“Hold on, Korilla.  You’re going to be okay.”

“Save him.” She said again, her eyes slowly glossing over as the life left her broken body.

You cursed.  The warlock’s last actions had been to find you in a desperate hope you’d help Raphael before he was consumed by his father.  His father who just so happened to be an archdevil. Mephistopheles.

“Little shit could’ve mentioned that.”  You grimaced, lowering Korilla’s body to rest upon the cold earth.

You stood, pinching the bridge of your nose as your thoughts whirled and clashed. Not only had the attackers killed Raphael, but they had also looted his house, stealing the Orphic hammer and the only hope you’d had of defeating the Elder Brain.

“Damn it.”  You returned to your companions with the news. “Looks like we’re taking a rescue party to hell.”

“Who’s the damsel in distress?”  Astarion asked, tilting his head as his red eyes flickered over your blood-flecked form.

“Raphael.”

The plan was to use as much stealth as possible. The vaults of Mephisto had been broken into not long ago, according to Raphael, so it was possible.  A direct confrontation with the archdevil himself was out of the question.  

The diabolist in Baldur’s Gate took some convincing, but in the end you were able to push enough gold across the counter to seal the deal.  

“Very well.  Though I warn you, you’ll not return alive or with your souls intact.”

“Yes, yes.”  You waved the woman off, her visage reminding you of Korilla. “Believe me, I’ve heard it all before.”  Your eyes scanned the musky shop. Do you have anything that will locate a specific fiend?”

With a Locate Creature spell scroll ready in your bag you watched as the diabolist created for you a portal. Ice crystals immediately crusted on the edge of the black abyss, the wind coming from the portal nearly freezing your shoes to the floor.

“Quickly, and remember the disguises!”  She ushered you and your party through, the frigid darkness enveloping you with a grim finality.

Through cold halls you’d snuck, invisible fingers cold as death scraping along your back and through your hair as you passed beneath torches of blue flame.

Time lost all meaning here.  Your eyes began to play tricks on you. The only thing keeping your mind focused was the spell lighting the edge of your vision with a warm glow, growing brighter as you hurried to where Raphael was being held.

An age, or an hour had passed.

The wrought iron door, so cold to the touch it burned, swung noiselessly inward, admitting you to an octagonal shaped room. On the far wall you saw him, his form dark, chained by one wrist to the wall.

“Raphael.”  You hissed, unexplainable relief flooding your frozen veins when his head moved in response.  

Your companions waited by the open doorway, keeping watch from the shadows.  You snuck as quickly as you could to where Raphael was restrained. His glowing eyes looking down upon you with consternation before recognition slowly dawned across his sharp features.

You held up a hand, silencing him as he opened his mouth. Movement could be heard from outside the prison room. You were running out of time.

“Can you get us out of here if I free you?”  You hissed, still keenly aware of the nature of the devil.

Raphael nodded, his tail moving to and fro in agitation.  Something about his vitality seemed to be missing, you had never imagined seeing him in such a state.  It was unsettling.

The matter of removing the singular shackle proved to be more challenging than you’d thought.  Astarion’s lockpicking skills proved futile.

“It’s a magical seal.”  Raphael breathed, his voice low yet sharp with anger born of desperation. “Now’s not the time to play the fool.”

You gave him a severe look which he matched right back at you, his eyes sparking flame.

You raised a hand to the ice-covered metal, about to dispel the magic surrounding the lock. “You owe me a favor.  A big one.  I don’t know yet what I will ask of you, but you will deliver. Understood?”

Raphael’s gaze scorched you for a moment, it was clear he was furious with his current predicament. But he had no choice, and both of you knew it.

He nodded curtly.

You cast your spell.

Raphael’s wrist broke free with the sharp sound of metal splintering. His hand closed tight around your arm, the dungeons of Mephisto melted away as you and your companions were yanked unceremoniously back to the material plane.

At least, your companions were.  Deposited non-gently upon the hard ground of your camp.

Raphael kept hold of you.  Taking you back to the foyer of his house. The house which still lay in semi ruin from its previous sacking.

He was angry.  Each step he took crackled fire and promise of swift vengeance.

“Raphael…”  You said hesitantly, following him down into the dining hall.  “Raphael, Korilla-”

“Is dead.”  Under the glow of firelight, you could properly see the state he was in. You winced when he turned to face you. “I know. Though not as dead as those who dared pillage my home, the fools.”

“Do you know who?”  You remained wary as you watched him conjure an armchair and sink down into it.

Raphael ignored your question, he issued orders in the abrasive Infernal tongue, seemingly into thin air.  His fingers clicked and a spark of flame licked around them.  Unseen servants began bustling around, clearing the debris and wreckage.  Setting the House of Hope back in order.

Raphael leveled his gaze upon you.  His expression was not unkind, it was calculating.  He had underestimated you and overestimated himself.  Not a mistake he’d make again.

“Why?”  No flowery words, no ado.

“I still need the hammer.”  You had the response prepared, having known the question was coming.

“You could have hunted down the thieves without my help.”  Raphael narrowed his hellfire eyes. “Why come to my aid?”

“Korilla asked me to.  It was her dying wish.”  You fidgeted under his piercing presence. “Besides, you’re a useful ally.  I still need your help to save the world.”

Raphael arched a brow, unconvinced. “Half-truths are still considered lies, dear.  But there are matters I must attend to.”  He stood, restless.  

“Will your father come for you again once he realizes you’re gone.”  The question came before you could stop yourself.

“Concerned for me?”  Raphael appraised you, a knowing tilt to his head. “No.  He will not.”

You didn’t argue, Raphael was clearly on edge, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

You rubbed circles against your aching temple. “Well, seems we have some thieves to track down.  A hammer to retrieve.”

Raphael looked as though he was biting back a sharp retort.  He chewed on his words, looking you over. “Yes.”  He growled, infernal fire flickering off his form. “You may watch as I peel their souls from the writhing mortal flesh.”

In an unexpected move, Raphael strode to you and took your hand, placing a kiss to your knuckles. His breath hot on your still chilled skin. “You may even assist me, if you so desire.”  He straightened.

That was as close to a “thank you” as you were going to get.

You set your jaw grimly. “When do we start?”

[writing-funsies]

OP characters as besties p.5

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5

characters: Ace, Shanks, Mihawk

warnings: mentions of alcohol, light cussing

notes: all platonic hc's

Ace

will share his food with you

but won't let you take any off his plate

falls asleep on you all the time

uses you as his personal pillow

and will make fun of you if you freak out when riding with him on Striker

despite the fact that it's designed for only one person

but I digress

also uses you as a napkin if needed

sometimes shoots little flames at you to see your reaction

talks about Luffy nonstop

like that's the only thing he ever talks about

by the time you actually meet his little brother

you're ready to strangle both of them

not really

but you could spot the kid a mile away

before you ever actually got to know him

Ace and you working together to become more confident

always teasing each other

you having to fish him out of the ocean when he falls in

drinking contests

staring contests

fighting contests

eating contests

just competing over everything and anything possible

training together

he may be really strong and have a devil fruit power

but he won't hesitate to practice his hand-to-hand combat with you

especially if you need it

will tease you about it though

so you just push him overboard again

long talks about your lives

your pasts

your families

where you see yourselves in a year

five years

maybe even ten years

your goals

and aspirations

just talks about life

he tells you about his dad

and is relieved when you tell him that just because he was his father's son doesn't mean that'll be his legacy 

you two would die for each other

nothing will ever tear you apart

besties for the resties

9/10

super sweet and funny

but won't bathe no matter how much you beg

Shanks

party boy™

genuinely doesn't give a fuck

he's here to have fun

and protect his family

that's it

tells you the corniest jokes you've ever heard

also laughs at everything you say

like Luffy, laughs even when you're being serious

uses his missing arm as an excuse if you ever try to get him to do his duties as captain

sometimes struggles with phantom pains

but assures you they'll go away on their own

drinking contests

if he's got a drink in hand

then everyone's gonna have a good time

100% threw up on your shoes once before passing out

laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard when you told him

quickly stifles his laughter when he sees how mad you are

offers to let you throw up on his shoes to make it even

you just stare at his sandals for a moment before walking away

watching Luffy's progress through the news together

bragging about the kid as if he were your own

the antics you two get up to guarantee that Ben will have a constant headache

the rest of the crew finds your dynamic duo to be hilarious

the sheer power of this crew is near unimaginable

so if the two of you ever actually fight enemies

they don't stand a chance

if anyone ever targeted you

and hurt you

Shanks would have his crew capture your attacker

and then show them exactly why no one messes with the Red Hair Pirates

8/10

always provides a good time

but will laugh at you if you fall 

Mihawk

I ain't ever seen two pretty best friends

until now

you are probably a little more lively than this warlord

he just doesn't care for drama

which means it's up to you to keep him in the loop

yet somehow he has the truly juicy details you could only wish to find on your own

y'all have a small book club

it's just the two of you

you tried to invite Perona to join

but she thought that your reading selection was so not cute

you even tried to invite Shanks once

all that accomplished was you gaining a new drinking buddy

which Mihawk begrudgingly allowed to happen

basically, the book club is just you two sipping on wine while discussing every mistake that the author made while writing your current read

salty bitches™

you're one of the only people alive who can get Mihawk to laugh

which is your favorite party trick

except that he's never laughed at the parties you both went to

(ie visiting Shanks and getting roped into a night of drinking)

he airs out all of the other warlords' dirty laundry to you

will talk mad shit about them

well at least most of them

he finds that no matter how powerful they may be

they're all idiots in his eyes

they can't see the big picture

he trusts that you have enough common sense to use the information sparingly

and you do

for the most part

it's giving rich single wine aunt meets vodka mom (but without the kids)

9/10

knows how to relax in style

but will not let you play with his sword no matter how many times you ask

[thatdammchickennugget]

Hi! Could i request a Remus x fem reader, where the Marauders make a bet on who can stay handcuffed together for longer and Remus and reader get paired up, they constantly get into awkward and funny situations together.

You Bet

pairing - remus lupin x gn!reader

summary - remus and you find yourselves handcuffed together as a result of a bet against james and sirius. the mischievous duo thought it would be a hilarious prank, but little did they know it would bring you and remus closer than ever

warnings - handcuffs (not sexual), fluff

wordcount - 2.3k

a/n - thank you so much for the request love <3 sorry this took so long, I started writing it, didn't like what I had written and then let it sit in my docs for weeks :/ but here you go, hope it's what you had in mind <3

James and Sirius entering a room cackling was never a good sign. Especially when they were trying to hide their laughter behind the closed fists pressed to their mouths, which could only mean that in the moment, they were laughing at your expense. There would be no reason to try and hide their amusement otherwise.

Remus had seemingly picked up on this as well, sitting up on the sofa next to you and putting down his book to muster the two troublemakers in question. “What are you up to?” he questioned with squinted eyes but his query was ignored.

James threw himself down on the cushions beside you, his elbow stabbing into your side in the process. In place of an apology, he leaned over to leave a smooch on your cheek. The mischievous glint in his eyes brought your attention back to the situation at hand. “Remus is right, you’re definitely up to something. You look way too pleased with yourselves right now.”

“Well, we are pleased. Because we just came up with an awesome idea!” Sirius proclaimed, arms behind his back as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“And what idea would that be?” you questioned further, rolling your eyes at their dramatics. Why could they not just come out with it like normal people for once?

“Do you remember our little argument from last week? The one at the party after the quidditch match?” Sirius asked you with a smirk and went on when you nodded hesitantly. “We know how to test out who was right.”

You remembered the argument faintly, if you could even call it that. It was more of a small disagreement and had only gone on as long as it did because both you and Sirius had indulged in more than just a couple drinks that night.

James and Sirius had proudly stated that they were the greatest pair of best friends Hogwarts had ever seen, which offended you greatly and you quickly argued that Remus and you should get first place. The rest of your friends had been split, none of them agreeing or taking a side, which resulted in Sirius and you bickering back and forth about the topic for the rest of the night, Remus just shaking his head from where he was perched on the armrest of your armchair with his arm lazily placed on your shoulder.

“And how are you going to test it?” Your question caused the two to share a look, grins quickly spreading across their faces.

“Y/n. My dear friend. I specifically remember you saying that if James and I would spend any more time together, someone would end up expelled or dead,” Sirius went on, confusing you because you did not remember saying that. “But we believe we would be perfectly fine. You and Remus, however, could not even survive 24 hours of constantly being around each other.”

He might have a point there. Remus greatly enjoyed his alone time and regularly needed to be by himself for a couple of hours to recharge and you always embraced these moments with open arms, as they gave you the chance to let yourself sort through all the not-so-platonic feelings for your best friend you had been experiencing lately. Of course, you would never admit that to Sirius.

“I might have said that. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Sirius finally pulled his arms from behind his back in response, stretching them towards you, showing off the metal handcuffs he had been hiding the whole time. Your eyes widened slightly at the sight of them. “Where did you even get those?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Sirius said flatly, before brightening up again. “Anyways, they’re charmed to stay on until we have a clear winner. Once a pair can’t stand being attached to each other anymore, the other’s cuffs will open up and we’ll know for sure.”

You exchanged an unsure glance with Remus, before glaring at Sirius. “We don’t have to prove ourselves. And I’m not up for your bullshit if all I get out if it is bragging rights.”

“Ah, I had a hunch you would say that,” James snickered, sitting up. “That’s why the winners will get a favour from the other two. It can be anything you want. And I’ll even go as far and throw in 20 galleons worth of chocolate from Honey Duke’s to make the deal a little sweeter for our Moony.”

You looked over your shoulder to see what Remus was thinking about this and he just shrugged his shoulders. He would do whatever you wanted him to do. “Okay Black. We have a deal.”

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

As you sat at the dinner table, your mind couldn't help but wander. Being handcuffed to Remus was proving to be more challenging than you had anticipated, especially considering the secret crush you harboured for him since second year.

Every moment spent in this close proximity only fueled your feelings further, making it increasingly difficult to focus on anything else. Sure, the two of you had always been close and affectionate towards each other, but knowing that you could not easily step away to gather your thoughts if it got too much was kind of terrifying. 

The first problem you ran into was actually eating your dinner. Every time you tried to use your left hand to cut something on your plate, Remus was about to lift his fork to his mouth with his right. It resulted in a lot of food ending up on the floor and a spilled cup of pumpkin juice.

James and Sirius were still confident they would win, making a big show out of feeding each other. Trying to ignore their antics, Remus and you decided to take turns eating. And being the good friend he was, it was your turn first.

As you took your turn to eat, you found yourself stealing glances at Remus, admiring his features, your gaze running along the scar beneath his eye, you became more and more aware of his presence looming next to you, so much closer than normal. Every accidental brush of your hands or shared laughter felt like a sweet torture, stirring up a mix of excitement and nervousness within you.

Trying to hide your growing nerves, you focused on the food in front of you. It was a delicious plate of roasted chicken with savoury sides, but your appetite seemed to have disappeared along with your ability to concentrate. The clinking of the handcuffs against the table kept reminding you of your predicament, a constant reminder of your tangled situation.

As you attempted to cut into your chicken, your movements felt clumsy and awkward. With each failed attempt, a blush crept up your cheeks, aware that your friends were witnessing your struggle. Your heart rate picked up, noticing the knowing grin growing on James' face. 

The spectacled boy was well aware of the feelings you harboured for the scarred boy sitting beside you. The mischievous glint in James' eyes made you almost as nervous as the feeling of Remus's thigh brushing up against yours, afraid about what could be coming out of his mouth.

But Remus, being the understanding friend he was, tried to ease your discomfort. He encouraged you with a warm smile and supportive words, assuring you that it was just a temporary challenge. His kindness only intensified your feelings, making you long for a different kind of connection once again.

Deep down, you wished that the handcuffs weren't a part of some silly bet but rather a catalyst for revealing your true emotions. You yearned for the courage to confess your feelings, but the fear of rejection and the uncertain consequences held you back.

As dinner continued, you and Remus navigated the meal with a combination of shared laughter, understanding glances, and occasional moments of embarrassment. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

After dinner, you and the group of Gryffindors navigated your way into the common room. Entering the room last left only one seat left on the couch, and you stopped in your tracks. Remus did not notice you stopping at first, accidentally pulling you along with him. When he noticed your reluctance, he turned to face you, his brows raised in question.

"Where are we going to sit?" you asked, nodding towards the already crowded couch.

He just mentioned towards the small space left unoccupied, fondly rolling his eyes. "Right there?"

"But there's not enough space for both of us. Maybe we can just sit on the floor?" Your face was already heating up again.

Remus playfully pulled you along, sitting down next to Sirius and pulling you onto his lap without any hesitation, causing laughter to fill the room. Your cheeks were burning by now and James teasingly smirking in your direction was not helping.

Soon, your predicament was forgotten as you got comfortable, embracing Remus' warmth against your back. Sirius was challenged to a round of exploding snap by Marlene and the growing frustration at one of his arms being rendered useless was evident on his face.

Amidst the jovial atmosphere, you engaged in light-hearted banter with James, Lily, and Mary. Jokes and witty remarks flew back and forth, adding to the delightful ambiance. The air was filled with laughter and camaraderie as you all shared the amusing predicament you found yourselves in.

Eventually, Remus settled into a comfortable position, retrieving a book from his bag, resting it on your thigh as he started reading. You could not help but be drawn to the sight of him engrossed in the pages, the way his eyes softened as they flew over the words. It felt like a serene moment amid the cheerful chaos.

Seizing the opportunity to share this intimate moment, you snuggled closer, resting your head against Remus's chest. With the book held between you both, you followed along silently, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you engrossed in the story.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When it was finally time to retire to bed, you follow the boys to their dorm room, feeling a mix of awkwardness and anticipation. The challenge lies in figuring out how to sleep with the handcuffs and the nervousness of sharing a bed with Remus.

Inside the dorm room, you and Remus exchange unsure glances, uncertain of how to navigate the situation. The room is dimly lit, casting a soft glow on the surroundings. As you both settle onto the bed, you realise the closeness between you is both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.

With the handcuffs restraining your movement, you exchange sheepish smiles, contemplating the best way to sleep. Remus, with a gentle and understanding demeanour, suggests lying on your sides, facing each other. It's an unconventional arrangement, but it allows for a level of intimacy that sends a shiver down your spine.

As you lie facing Remus, your heart beats a little faster, unsure of what the night may hold. Closing your eyes, you try to focus on the sounds of your friends breathing as they fell asleep. But with the feeling of Remus' breath hitting your forehead and your hyper awareness of every single one of his movements beneath the shared blanket, you found yourself unable to drift off to sleep.

You were sure Sirius and James were long passed out, considering the loud snoring coming from their side of the room. In this vulnerable moment, Remus's whisper breaks the silence. "Are you awake?"

You hear his voice clearly even though he is being quiet, his face only inches from yours. His breathing is still slow and steady, so you nod in response, not fully trusting your voice as you opened your eyes to find him already looking at you, the moonlight falling in through the window reflecting in his eyes.

His eyes flicker over your face, scanning, as if looking for something. His gaze then lingers on your mouth briefly before returning to your eyes. You wondered if it had really just happened or if you had fallen asleep after all, your subconscious mind dreaming up the affection written over his face. 

He looks back and forth between your eyes and lips again, before leaning forward slightly and pressing his lips softly to yours. Your heart begins to race with excitement, which quickly morphs into butterflies in your stomach. As many times as you had imagined this moment, nothing had even come close to what you were feeling right now, your body warm with desire.

He pulls away first, leaving you breathless as he rests his forehead against yours, a faint smile on his lips. Your fingers find their way up to trace his features, coming to rest on his cheek, fingers lightly tracing the scar you had been admiring earlier that night.

He laughs lightly, a low rumbling sound echoing through the otherwise silent dorm room. It’s lighthearted and endearing, and makes your heart skip a beat. “Was that alright?”

“Yeah. That was perfect,” you mutter in a hushed tone.

Overwhelmed with emotions, you reach out your other hand, and cup Remus's face. The connection between you deepens, and without hesitation, you share another tender, heartfelt kiss. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you, locked in this intimate moment.

Unbeknownst to you, James, unable to sleep with Sirius's constant snoring, finds himself frustrated in his own bed. In an impulsive act, he kicks Sirius, causing the other boy to tumble out of the bed they shared.

Sirius awakes with a startled yelp, finding himself face down on the carpet. A quiet clicking sound caught your attention and you felt the handcuff around your wrist loosen. Sitting up to grin at Sirius still sprawled out on the floor, you hold up the handcuffs triumphantly. "Looks like we won the bet."

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