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#because what we do to stop it? try to hold it back? is this even enough?
luveline · 3 days
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hey love! first of all: i have to admit i started watching criminal minds for the first time earlier this year only bc of your spencer fics! can we get more stripper!reader and spencer? love your writing!!!
thank you!! It’s a slow routine. You begin in a crouch in your underwear, just like at the club. Chest to your knees, arms twisted with the backs of your hands touching. But, unlike at the club, this underwear is comfortable. There’s nobody watching, and you won’t make any tips. You don’t have a pole nor a stage. 
You run through the routine but forgo any pole tricks. You stretch for long, slow minutes, dancing from one space to another. The music in your head isn’t anything you’d play at home, but it works to keep time. You end on your knees again. 
It’s not fun. 
You stretch toward your phone and pick it up. Spencer’s texted you twice in the ten minutes you weren’t on it. 
Hi gorgeous, the first begins, do you want to sleep over? I can make you dinner. 
The second, Sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever called you gorgeous before, is that weird? Please come over and pretend I didn’t say that if it was weird
A third pops up while you’re reading. Can I come get you? 
You text him back with pleasure. He’s the only guy in your life who talks to you just to talk, without thinking he could fuck you if he says enough right things, even though he has fucked you. Hi babe you can call me anything it’s not weird, I’ll come over! Not working this week, maybe I can stay two days(?) let me know so I can pack enough clothes 
You can stay all week, if you want to. I miss you 
You imagine him holding his phone, his cheeks pink with blush. 
I miss you too, you text back. 
Just bring what you want to and we can work it out later
Working it out later could mean anything with Spencer. He’s silly enough to try and put you in his clothes, and generous enough to take you shopping if it saves the time it takes to drive you home. 
You’ve packed a bag of clothes and shower things when your phone rings. Spencer’s contact photo covers the whole screen, the two of you together with your face cut out, his smile wide. You were both a teeny bit tipsy. 
“Hello?” you answer, bringing the phone to your ear. 
“Hi!” He sounds nervous. “I’m outside. Am I gonna get towed?” 
“Not if you stay in the car. I’m on my way down right now.” 
“Okay, see you in a second,” he says. 
He never looks comfortable behind a steering wheel. You aren’t sure why he doesn’t sell his car, maybe because it’s dirt cheap to maintain. He never seems happy to be driving is all. 
He smiles when you approach his door, which is better. He rolls down the window. 
“Are you okay?” he asks. You bend at the knees to see him better. 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” 
“I had a weird feeling about you, like you weren’t alright.” 
You lean down further. “I’m okay.” 
He grins. You’re waiting for a kiss he doesn’t give, finding yourself a subject for his staring, completely still as his gaze follows around your face. He makes no move to kiss you, and for a moment insecurity blossoms. 
“Well, you look okay. Are you getting in? It’s cold,” he says, nodding toward the passenger side.
“No help with my bags?” you ask, closing the door when he tries to open it. “Kidding.” 
You round the hood and climb inside. Then Spencer kisses you, polite but emphatic, one on your lips and another just under your jaw as he squeezes your shoulder. You feed into them lovingly.
“Maybe you can stay at my place forever? That way I can stop missing you all the time,” he says, pulling away slowly. 
“And when the mystery is gone?” you ask. 
“I don’t want mystery with you.” 
Spencer takes your bag from your lap and shoves it into the back seat. You drop the smaller one on your shoes. 
“Do you wanna get pizza or something?” he asks. 
You hold your jaw where he’d kissed you. “Sure,” you say, tingles of his kiss lingering under your hand. 
“Or Chinese? What do you want?” 
You want more kisses, but you love that he always gives you options. “Pizza for sure. Curly fries, too. Hold my hand?” 
Spencer takes it with gusto over the gearstick, and whatever felt like it was missing earlier fills itself in. “Wait,” you say softly, before he can take the car out of park, “just…” You grab his side and drag him toward you for a hug. Holding hands wasn’t gonna be enough —Spencer doesn’t know it yet, but you love him, love how safe he makes you feel, love how fun he makes your life. You can be yourself with him, no matter who that really is.
Spencer holds you, his hand across your shoulder blade rubbing soft lines. 
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heartmaddie · 17 hours
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cuddling with the haikyuu boys ! ushijima , suna , sakusa , hinata , oikawa
incl post timeskip and pre time skip , oikawa's one is a tadbit sad , gender neutral reader (except the last of ushijima headcannons where reader is pregnant but everything else is gn)
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ushijima wakatoshi °˖➴જ⁀➴‎‎‎‎ ㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎chronic big spoon
⋆ he loves big spooning so much ; especially after finding looking at you face to face a little bit awkward when cuddling
⋆ in the early relationship stage he didn’t touch you often, so cuddling sort of opened that gateway for him
⋆ even then, he loves feeling your head against his chest while it beats embarrassingly fast against your ears
⋆ he’s not opposed to being the little spoon, but once he’s back from practice you’d likely be asleep by then, so it’s easiest to just slide into bed from the back like so.
⋆ before he realises that you like the feeling of being squished he’s probably a bit concerned that he’s holding you too tight
⋆ post time skip he doesn’t care as much and just squeezes you tightly until you tell him to stop
⋆ he’s the sweetest, he only started cuddling for you but then continued because he fell in love with the way he could bury his nose against you while palming at your soft skin.
⋆ if you do decide to have babies then he likes running his hands against your pregnant stomach and feeling the baby kick and squirm against his large, rough hands.
⋆˙⟡ —
ushijima doesn’t necessarily convey his affection through physical touch, he’d much rather tell you how he adored you straight to your face with no miscommunication, that was just how he functioned. but while your relationship developed overtime, he would start to notice how often you’d cling onto his arm, or during movie nights at his dorm you’d tuck yourself under his bicep, so he started to worry that he wasn’t providing for you enough in a physically affectionate manner.
the first night you stayed at his dorm was when tendou was at his family home for the weekend, so he decided to invite you over for the night. your laptop’s perched on his lap and you’re laying against his hard chest, the both of you eagerly watching your favourite movie. around the halfway point, ushijima takes note of the intimacy between the two characters, how their bodies would intertwine on the soft mattress, and he yearned to embrace you like that too.
his olive eyes flicker down to your figure, how through your blue light glasses, you’d watch the film with fascination in your eyes, you’ve watched this film hundreds of times so to ushijima this long-standing attachment was quite strange. he raked his thick fingers through your hair, gently running them through each strand before catching your attention, looking up at him curiously you ask him what’s up.
“oh, nothing,” the vibrations of his thick voice ripples through the air as he pulls you a bit closer, “i’ve never held someone like that before.” he gestures to the screen. 
you smile up at him, gently closing the laptop and carefully laying it on the ground, 
“okay, we can try now!” you say happily, sliding your arms around him and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, which he’d happily return.
soon enough, ushijima found his head nestled against your ear with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, your back pressed up against his chest as he held you tight. 
“i’m quite fond of this.” he murmurs in your ear, pressing his thin lips against the skin of your neck.
he shut his eyes tight, inhaling your sweet scent while he felt himself slowly drift off to sleep, finding it a little bit easier with you curled up in his arms.
suna rintaro °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤbear hugger
⋆ even in a non-cuddling sense, suna loves wrapping his arms around you and making you feel small in his embrace
⋆ even in the early relationship stage, he’d be pulling you into his arms and pressing kisses against your neck while you giggle
⋆ and he does it everywhere, he’s a big fan of pda.
⋆ when you’re cuddling, he likes laying right on top of you with his arms wrapped around your waist, your head buried in his neck while he rubs your neck
⋆ he’s so touchy its insatiable, he’d always have his arm around your waist ready to pull you into his arms
⋆ after a long day of work all he needs is to be wrapped up in your arms, squishing against your shoulders and breathing in the accords of his favourite perfume before he’s easily knocked out for hours.
⋆ sometimes it gets so bad that you literally can’t breathe so you have to roll him off your body and he’d pout about it for a couple of days
⋆ he likes laying his head on your chest too, so he can listen to your heartbeat as it lulls him to sleep
⋆˙⟡ —
suna felt all the stress upon his shoulders, head slouched down as he attempted to type the password into the apartment door before it opens gently before him and he perks up immediately at the sight of you in your pink flannel pajamas. you’re embraced by his sweaty body, and he’s pressing kisses against your neck as he uses his foot to kick the door shut, lifting you into his toned arms and carrying you to the bedroom.
“missed you so, so much.” he murmured between pecks, his voice muffled by the warm skin of your nape.
“go have a shower rinnie, you smell like sweat.” you huff, sitting up on the bed as you tried to push him off you, he pouts before pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, standing up to strip his shirt and walk into the bathroom. in your moments of solitude, you reach for the book on your nightstand and work through it, encapsulated in each page, not even realising when rintarou exits the bathroom. 
he gently takes the book out of your hands, placing the bookmark between the pages fold and leaving it on the nightstand, pressing another kiss to your lips as he slides into the bed. 
“i missed you soo much.” rintarou mutters as he lays next to you, pulling you into his warm arms as he snuggles into your neck, “lemme lie on you, pleasee.” he begs, and you look at him with a sidelong glance.
“just wait a bit, we can cuddle like that right before we go to sleep.” you hum, looking over at him and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, making him melt into the soft mattress with a dorky smile.
“i love you.” he’d murmur, pulling you tight against his chest and capturing your lips in a soft, chaste kiss. 
“i love you too.” your voice is muffled against his lips, but he still smiles against you, nuzzling his head against your cheek while your arms move to wrap around him tight.
suna takes this as initiative to lay right on top of you, your head nestled against his chest as his arms snake around your upper torso, squeezing you tight as he knocks the wind out of your chest. he lets a deep sigh of relief escape him, holding you close as he falls into deep tranquil.
sakusa kiyoomi °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤaddicted to your warmth
⋆ he hated the idea of sleeping in the same bed as you during your early relationship stage
⋆ but a couple months into your relationship he starts getting used to your warm body wrapped up in his sheets
⋆ soon enough he’s addicted to your warmth, always recaching out for you in bed so at least one part of your bodies are touching
⋆ at first it’s more that you’d sleep back to back, so he could still soak up your warmth without being entirely in your warms
⋆ but as your relationship progresses he starts getting used to the idea of placing his hand on your face while you sleep
⋆ he faces you while you sleep so he can watch you during the late hours of the night
⋆ sakusa values his sleep, but he definitely used to be an insomniac before you started dating
⋆ having your warmth next to him helped, it lulled him to sleep with ease.
⋆ he likes draping an arm over you in the winter, on good nights he’ll pull you into his arms and lean against your neck
⋆ in the summer he’ll stay away from you though, you overheat frequently and he prefers staying cold in bed.
⋆˙⟡ —
it’s so cold.
sakusa’s shivering on his side of the bed, the thick covers of this hotel bed not keeping him warm like the ones at home do. he pulls the sleeves of his flannel shirt down, trying to cover him whole as he looks outside, the snow gracefully falling to the ground as he contemplates his misery. he looks over at your sleeping body, dressed merely in his sweatshirt and pants as you slept soundly, clutching onto your pillow tight. he’s jealous, he wants to be able to sleep so calmly like that as well, but of course the cold weather had to bar him from that.
sakusa hesitantly shifts closer to your side of the bed, and he’s temporarily shocked by the warmth which radiated off your soft body, but he shouldn’t be surprised, you were always warm to the touch. a hint of guilt hits him when he notices you stirring awake, rubbing your eyes before they flicker open to look at him.
“is something wrong, kiyoomi?” you ask, the tiredness evident in your voice as you look up at him with soft, sleepy eyes. he shook his head, gently placing his hand on your cheek and gently caressing the smooth skin, smiling softly.
“can’t sleep, it’s cold.” he explains, shifting closer to you.
“wanna try this?” you sit up and wrap your arms around his waist, letting him have the time to pull out, but instead he melts into your embrace, holding you tight as you fall onto the bed from his weight.
“thank you.” he whispers against your neck, seemingly addicted at the way your soft body would wrap around his. sakusa would lay his ear against your pulsating heart, the steady rhythm calming himself as he soaked up all the warmth you’d offer him, occasionally pawing against your soft skin as he watched you fall asleep once again.
sakusa inhales your soft scent, and he realises that he’s never held you so intimately before. he wondered if you noticed that too, but it was likely naught. his dry fingers rubbed up and down your skin, feeling every bump and crevice before he himself fell into the deepest sleep he’s ever experienced.
hinata shoyo °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤlittle spoon :p
⋆ he likes being the little spoon because it makes him feel safe in your arms
⋆ he’s a very physically affectionate boy, so when you started dating he’d always want you clinging onto his arm
⋆ he thinks you smell really nice, so when you spoon him it always rubs off on him
⋆ it’s really grounding for him when you hold him 
⋆ when you were in brazil together and he started growing a bit more, it was difficult for you to hold him as such, which how you shifted into him laying on your chest with your arms draped around his neck
⋆ he thinks you’re heaven when you run your fingers through his hair.
⋆ sometimes if you’re sitting on the couch together hinata will casually lean against your lap as you scratch his head
⋆ when you’re not laying with him, he’ll clutch his pillows really tight and pretend that it’s you
⋆ he loves sleeping in your bed because it’s a lot softer than his futon
⋆ he’s such a loverboy - always wanting to cuddle and hold you in his arms
⋆ brazil hinata likes when you squish on his biceps………..
⋆ ok but when shoyo and natsu were a bit younger natsu would curl up near him and he felt like a very proud big brother
⋆˙⟡ —
hinata shoyo smells like the sunshine.
it didn’t matter how much bergamot scented soap he’d lather onto his skin twice a day, the smell of sea salt and sand were deeply engraved into his natural musk, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. you gently run your fingers down his arm, frowning of the remnants of the sand which would scrape at him during his time at the beach. 
“sho, what did i tell you about sunscreen?” you scold, voice quiet as you rub aloe vera gel on his tanned skin which glowed pink, dead skin rolling into little balls under your fingers and you groan in mild disgust.
“i always put it on at the start of the day, i swear!” he looks back at you, obviously in pain as his eyebrows knit together, “be gentle!” he whines, wincing as the soothing cream would sting his sensitive skin.
“this is the consequences of your actions.” you mutter in response, continuing to spread the cold gel across his shoulders and back, but you comply against your words, slowing your movements and massaging the aloe vera into his skin with care.
he groans and whines, but his hand reaches yours when you finish, and he’s gently pressing his lips against yours, gel from his nose rubbing off onto yours.
“i’m so tired.” he huffs, pulling an old shirt over his head, the fabric sticking to his skin uncomfortably. “hold onto me for a bit.” you nod, shifting behind him and letting him curl his back into your chest, you take his hands and rub small circles on his palm. 
“you’re so good to me baby.” he hums, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing soft kisses against the skin. you smile against his nape, inhaling his spicy salty musk with your eyes closed, relaxed against the boys skin as you held him tight.
oikawa tooru °˖➴જ⁀➴ ㅤㅤㅤeager for your consolement
⋆ he’s also a very affectionate boy, even when you weren’t dating he’d ‘platonically’ pull you into his arms tight
⋆ so when you do confirm that you’re officially a couple, he’s more intimate in the ways that he’d hold you
⋆ his lips are glued onto your cheeks, he thinks those kisses are sweeter than the ones on your lips
⋆ when you cuddle, he’ll lay his head on your chest with his body off the side of yours
⋆ he likes feeling smaller in your embrace, even if he’s much larger
⋆ tooru likes looking up at you and telling you all about your day, letting you run your fingers through his thin strands of hair
⋆ he loves pda, because to him, you’re so gorgeous and he’s scared that someone will take you away
⋆ when you’re asleep and he’s on your chest, he likes reaching up and gently stringing your hair between his fingers
⋆ sometimes when he’s sad he likes curling up against your side as you console him
⋆ his love languages are a mix of everything, so when you’re the one being held, he’ll pull you close to his mouth so he can whisper how much you mean to him straight into your ear.
⋆ he also loves listening to music with you, so he’ll cuddle against your warmth while your record player spins in the background.
⋆ also films, he’s a big fan of watching all the films you love.
⋆˙⟡ —
he lets out sobs against the warmth of your chest, letting your arms gently cradle his head as you whisper affirmations into his ears.
“i’m so sorry.” he’d mutter repeatedly against your chest, “i’m so sorry i lost.” his tears wet the fabric of your shirt, you gently patted the expanse of his back, offering your physical affection as a means to calm him down.
"oh baby, you don't need to apologise" you hum, pressing your lips against his forehead and your nose brushes against his hair, temporarily stunning your senses with his sweet scent. but tooru felt weak, although, finding your words somewhat comforting as he’d look up at you, his eyes rimmed red and snot falling from his nose. you gently rub his cheek, pressing your lips against his scalp.
“but i lost? and i promised that i’d take everyone to nationals - and i didn’t.” his words were choked, spaced by sobs as he’d lay against your chest, your heart swelled with sorrow, chest tightening up as you witnessed tooru’s expression. even with his tear stained eyes and splotchy red face, he was more beautiful than you could’ve imagined.
“oh tooru,” you whisper against his skin, “everyone’s so proud of you regardless, if it wasn’t for your support, no one would’ve gotten here anyways.” you pull him closer to your upper body, burying your face into his hair as your fingers traced up and down his arm. “you’re a good player, and an even better captain. the sport is more than just winning, it’s like the relationships that blossom from it.” you try to explain, gently stroking his hair.
“you really think?” he asks hesitantly, letting himself be pulled closer as he shivers within your embrace.
“i know, baby, i know.”
against his red face and snotty nose, he lets out a small smile when he looks up at you, sitting up to wipe his nose with his sleeve.
“i really love you, yn.” he mutters, letting you embrace him as he cries, “i really think you’re the best thing thats ever happened to me.”
contradicting the situation, you let out a soft laugh, making him smile against the nape of your neck.
“i love you too, tooru.”
and with your arms wrapped around him tight, tooru knew that everything would be okay.
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please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed !!!
i think i mayhaps cooked with this one
sorry i was supposed to post this like yesterday night but i got distradcted playing dress to impress
maybe i wrote hinata in for one of my moots,,, mayhaps...
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foreverlittlesoshi · 2 days
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the center of my day
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noah sebastian x reader
word count: 370
the sound of rain hitting the window woke you, gloomy clouds making the sky and outside appear gray. the air felt cold but your body was warm due to noah holding onto you with a death grip. you wiggled a bit so you could turn over but stopped when you heard him let out a groan.
“what are you doing?” “just wanted to turn so i can look at you.”
facing him you were met with his slightly puffy face still drenched with fatigue, you couldn’t help but to start tracing his features while admiring him and feel your heart start pounding. he let out a sigh of content at the feeling of your thumb rubbing his cheek and started to fall back into his slumber. a little bit of guilt washed over you for waking him since he was trying to catch up on sleep after months of nonstop grueling touring and he deserved the rest.
not to mention, pushing himself more by already going right back into the studio to make the next album. even with pure exhaustion and stress on him, he still looked so beautiful and peaceful while sleeping.
“you’re so beautiful.” you whisper to him.
“don’t lie to me.”
his response startled you a bit but you gave him a light smack on the shoulder. “i would never lie to you.”
noah shook his head as he let out a weak chuckle. “i guess not.”
“so don’t ever accuse me of lying to you because you are so beautiful.” you say louder as you push his dark hair off his face.
“fine. fine.” he murmured as he rolled his eyes.
“don’t get all sassy with me!” laughing at him, “i thought you fell back asleep.”
he hugged you tighter as he let out another sigh. “i almost did till you spoke. i won’t lie, i loved the compliment.”
“well, it’s true.” you gave him a soft kiss and he kissed you back.
“alright, can we go back to sleep now?” his eyes already closed again before finishing the question.
“of course.” settling back down then focusing on the sound of his heartbeat lulling you back to sleep as he fell back into a deep slumber again.
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AN ~ i tried so hard to take a chance of writing fluff after actual years
title comes from dare4distance by nevershoutnever
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wolverigrl · 3 days
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Request for Hugh story.
The reader gets a little jealous when Hugh has to spend some time with his ex wife and kids, so to show his girlfriend just how much he loves her. Hugh makes her romantic dinner just for them.
Jelousy
Hugh Jackman x reader
!A/N! I hope you like this requested story! <3
Warnings: jealousy, cheesy, nothing more!
Enjoy!
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It had been a year and a half since Hugh and I had started dating. The first year had been incredible - dream-like, really. But things had changed. It started slowly, creeping in like an unwanted shadow. His work, the endless promotion for his new movie, had taken over our lives. We barely saw each other anymore. And when he wasn’t jetting across the globe for press junkets, he was here in New York - spending time with his ex-wife and their kids.
I knew it was important for him to be there for them, to maintain that family bond. And I understood that. I tried to understand it. But lately, it felt like I was always waiting. Waiting for him to come home. Waiting for some kind of sign that I still mattered.
And today? Today was the final straw.
I had seen the photos online—Hugh and Deborra-Lee with their kids, laughing, looking so perfect together. Like nothing had ever changed between them. It wasn’t rational, I knew that. He had been married to her for years, and they shared a lot of history. But no matter how hard I tried to suppress it, the jealousy kept bubbling up inside me, threatening to spill over.
So when Hugh finally walked through the door that evening, his face lit up with a tired but warm smile, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
"Had a good day?" I asked, my tone far too sharp for what was supposed to be a casual question.
He dropped his keys on the counter and looked at me, confused by the edge in my voice. "Yeah... spent the day with the kids. It was nice. What about you?"
"Great." I replied, unable to mask the bitterness. "Saw the pictures. You all looked... happy."
Hugh's brows furrowed. "What do you mean? Of course, we were happy. I was spending time with the kids- "
"And your ex-wife." I cut him off, my arms crossing defensively. "You’ve been spending a lot of time with her, haven’t you?"
He stared at me, his confusion deepening. "Y/n, she's the mother of my kids. We’re not together, you know that. You have nothing to worry about."
"I don’t?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "Because it feels like I’m the last thing on your mind these days. I’m starting to forget what it’s like to even have you around."
Hugh stepped toward me, his voice soft but firm. "That’s not fair, y/n. You know how crazy things have been with the movie, and I’m trying to be there for the kids. It’s complicated."
"Yeah, it is complicated!" I snapped, my frustration boiling over. I could feel the words tumbling out of me, unstoppable now. "I would never ask you to choose between me and them, Hugh, but I’m not asking for much. I just want to feel like I matter too."
He ran a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated but trying to stay calm. "You do matter. You know you do."
"Do I?" I shot back, my voice cracking despite my best efforts to stay composed. "Because lately, it feels like I’m just here. Waiting for you to remember I exist!"
Hugh’s expression softened, his frustration giving way to something more vulnerable. "Love, come on... it’s not like that."
But I couldn’t listen anymore. The flood of emotions was too much, and I needed space. "I need to get out of here." I muttered, grabbing my coat and heading for the door.
"Y/n, wait!" Hugh called after me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I just needed air, space - anything to clear my head. The door clicked shut behind me, and I found myself walking aimlessly through the streets of New York, my emotions swirling in my chest like a storm.
The crisp night air hit my face as I wandered through the city. My mind raced as I replayed the argument over and over. Why had I let it get this far? Why hadn’t I talked to him sooner, before it all exploded like this? I knew he wasn’t intentionally pushing me away, but lately, it felt like I was invisible.
After an hour of walking and stewing in my own thoughts, I realized I needed to head back. I couldn’t avoid this forever. We needed to talk - really talk. And maybe I needed to apologize for being... well, dramatic. I sighed, turning back toward the apartment, my steps slower, more thoughtful.
When I finally reached the door, I took a deep breath, expecting tension. But as I stepped inside, I was met with something completely unexpected.
The lights were dim, and there was soft music playing in the background. I slipped off my shoes and walked towards the kitchen. The smell of something delicious - my favorite dish - wafted through the air. Candles flickered gently on the dining table, which had been set for two. The entire room felt warm and inviting, a strong contrast to the storm that had been brewing between us earlier.
I stood frozen in the corridor, blinking in disbelief. Hugh emerged from the kitchen, his eyes soft and apologetic as he wiped his hands on a towel.
"Hey." he said gently, his voice carrying a tenderness that tugged at my heart. "I, uh... I made dinner. I figured we could use some time, just the two of us."
I stared at him, the earlier frustration slowly melting away. "Hugh... you didn’t have to do all this."
"Yes, I did." he said, stepping closer. His eyes searched mine, and the sincerity in them made my chest tighten. "I’ve been so caught up in everything - work, the kids - that I forgot to make time for us. And that’s not okay. You’re right."
I bit my lip, guilt washing over me. "I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I just... I was feeling- "
"I know." he interrupted softly, his hands reaching out to gently hold mine. "And I get it. I should’ve been more present with you. I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t matter because you do, more than anything."
I swallowed hard, my heart swelling as I looked up at him. The anger, the jealousy - it all felt so small now. He had always been the man who showed up, who cared, even when life got overwhelming. And right now, he was standing here, showing me exactly how much I meant to him.
"I’m sorry." I whispered, my voice trembling as I squeezed his hands.
Hugh shook his head, his thumbs brushing over my knuckles gently. "I’m sorry too. I love you, y/n. I never want you to feel like you’re anything less than my priority."
The weight of his words settled over me, soothing the ache I’d been carrying for days. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension between us dissolve. "I love you too." I said softly, my heart swelling with the truth of it.
He smiled, that familiar, warm smile that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. "So... how about we start over? No more fighting. Just... dinner."
I nodded, smiling despite myself. "Yeah. I’d like that."
We sat down at the table, and the moment was so simple, so intimate. Hugh had made my favorite dish - pasta with that special sauce he always made when we had date nights at home. The food was incredible, but what made it even better was the way we kept stealing glances at each other, the quiet joy in the air as we ate.
By the time we were done, my heart felt lighter. We moved to the couch, and I leaned into him as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. I could feel the warmth of his chest, his heartbeat steady and reassuring.
"I missed this." I whispered, resting my head against him.
Hugh pressed a kiss to the top of my head, his lips lingering there for a moment. "I missed you. I hate that I made you feel like I wasn’t here. I’ll do better, I promise."
I tilted my head up to look at him, my eyes meeting his. The tenderness in his gaze made my heart skip a beat. "You always show up when it matters, Hugh. I just... I need to know you’ll keep doing that."
"I will," he murmured, his voice low and earnest. "You’re not an afterthought, Y/N. You’re my home."
Those words wrapped around me, filling the cracks that had formed over the past few weeks. I reached up, cupping his face as I kissed him softly, pouring every bit of love and gratitude I felt into that kiss.
When we pulled away, I couldn’t help but smile. "You really went all out, huh? Cooking, candles... the whole deal."
Hugh grinned, his eyes twinkling. "Well, I figured you deserved a little romance after putting up with me."
I laughed softly, leaning in closer. "I think we both deserved it."
He tilted his head down, kissing the top of mine softly. "I don’t ever want you to doubt how much I love you. I know I’ve been distracted, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere."
My heart swelled at his words, the sincerity in his voice wrapping around me like a promise. I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "I know." I whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. "And I love you. I just... needed to hear it."
He smiled, a lazy, boyish grin that made my stomach flutter. "Then I’ll make sure you hear it more often."
He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine, slow and sweet, like he had all the time in the world just to kiss me. It wasn’t rushed or desperate. It was full of everything - love, reassurance, and that deep, quiet connection we shared. When we finally pulled away, our foreheads rested against each other, and I could feel his breath against my lips.
We stayed wrapped up together on the couch, the warmth of his body melting away any lingering tension. His arm was draped protectively around my shoulders, pulling me close, while I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was comforting, grounding. Every time I shifted, he pulled me in just a little tighter, like he couldn’t stand the thought of even an inch between us.
"You know." he murmured, his fingers lazily tracing circles on my arm, "I’ve missed this. Just being here with you. No noise, no schedules. Just... us."
I smiled into his chest, feeling the softness of his words settle over me like a warm blanket. "I’ve missed it too. More than I realized."
We sat there for a while longer, the quiet of the apartment settling around us. Hugh shifted slightly, pulling a blanket over us and tucking it in around my shoulders. He kissed my forehead again, lingering as though he couldn’t help himself.
"And you know." he whispered softly, his voice like velvet against the night air, "you’re my favorite part of everything. Of coming home, of my whole day. You’re it."
My heart melted. I snuggled deeper into his embrace, closing my eyes as I felt the warmth of his love surround me. "You’re my favorite too." I whispered back, feeling safe, cherished, and so completely loved.
We stayed that way, wrapped up in each other, letting the world fade away. No more jealousy, no more distance. Just us, together. And in that moment, everything felt perfect - like this was exactly where we were supposed to be.
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I'd appreciate feedback! <3
xoxo
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starboye · 3 days
Text
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starring: nerdy!matt sturniolo x male reader
request: matt helping you study (or at least trying to) and you're to horny to even focus so you tease matt the whole time
warnings: smut, cursing, teasing, edging, blow job, nerdy!matt
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"c'mon matt you got this just read the paragraph" you coo as if you didn't have your hand wrapped around his cock slowly pumping away, he offered to help you study for your upcoming test but this isn't what he meant, but maybe it was his fault for agreeing to study while laying in bed knowing you would very well do this to him "ngh please y/n we have to study" matt whimpered, his thighs twitching with each slight move of your hand, i mean how could matt be so dumb to think you would actually call him over just to study.
"don't worry about me i'll ace the test because i have my very smart boyfriend to help me study, right" you tease rubbing you thumb across his aching leaky tip "i mean how would i ever do anything with out you helping me" you says kissing his cheek and moving down to lay small kisses on his neck "please" matt whispers "m'gonna need you to speak up matty" you taunt him and now he's not sure how much more of this torture he can take before he blows "ple- mm fuck y/n... please suck me" matt lowly repeats.
"happily" you quickly kiss him before your traveling down and getting comfy in between his legs, you fully take off his underwear and pants and lick his tip, flicking the beads of pre cum onto your tongue "mmm you taste so good matt" you smile before you start slapping his dick onto your tongue, matt by now has thrown the book somewhere onto the bed and as much as he didn't want to bring his eyes to your, fearful of the effect it might have on him he couldn't stop looking at you.
you sunk your mouth onto his twitchy dick and bobbing your head up and down, matts hands flew to grip the sheets of your bed tightly, watching your actions through fluttering eyelashes "fuckkk" matt let out broken guttural moans that sounded like he was on the edge of cumming but you quickly pull off his dick, jerking him off to make up for the loss of your mouth "i cant have you cumming that quick now can i" you tease even more, your hand moving at an agonizingly slow pace that left him just on the edge but never cumming.
"fuck y/n... please i wanna cum" matt whines, thighs twitchy to the touch of your hand "i know but you can hold it for just a little longer" you say leaning down to kiss his thighs, one hand moving to fondle his balls a little "mm mm" he shakes his head, biting down on his lip to silence his moan, he was thanking god that you're family wasn't home right now to hear him and his whiny noises.
you wanted to draw this out for longer, edge him on again and again just to ruin it but his cute face scrunching with each of you teasing moves made you take pity on him, you sink your mouth back onto his cock and resume bobbing your head up and down till matt was writhing uncontrollably in his place before cumming in your mouth, loud whimpers flood from his mouth just as his cum floods your mouth.
you bring your head up and wipe your mouth of the arousal before crawling towards his dazed face and kissing him, you lay flat on his huffing chest "we should study together more often" you say snuggling into him "ye... yeah definitely" matt says finally coming back to his senses "did you really study for that test though" matt asks now rubbing you back "nope" you say unbothered making matt roll his eyes.
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taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft
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Text
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
Part 3
Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader
(Booth Five)
Summary: After finding out about the seven years Lila and Five spent together, reader walks in to a diner in between all time and space and finds exactly what she didn’t know she was looking for
Warnings: Some cursing, angst
A/N: They’re may be some major grammar errors because I’ve had a massive migraine for several days now but I wanted to get it out as soon as possible ❤️ I hope it’s up to expectations. I had so much fun writing it. This is the last part and then there will be a short epilogue!
Also, Five is still very much alive and dealing with the consequences of his choices. Everything else is left up to interpretation
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————
“Come on, there’s someone you need to meet,” Y/N said, holding her hand out for Five to take, “Blink us to the subway.”
“Y/N, what are you-“
“My God, Five, for once in your life would you just do as your told,” she snapped, frustration bleeding from every word, “Blink us to the subway!”
He looked taken aback for a moment before he finally relented, taking her hand and blinking them to the terminal.
She immediately started in the direction she knew the Deli would be in. Five followed her, more than a little confused by her behavior.
He trailed behind her down the stairs but stepped back in surprise when the marquis lights of the deli came in to view.
His steps faltered and he knitted his eyebrows together in confusion, “Max?”
“Max,” she confirmed, “You are, in fact, seeing your name. Come on.”
He followed behind her cautiously but she did not hesitate to open the door of the deli, stepping in like she was a frequent patron of this place in the middle of all of time.
Five instinctively put a hand on the small of her back, ready to protect her if necessary but she inched away from him. She acted like his touch was the equivalent to an white-hot, iron poker. She was also incredibly too comfortable in this new environment.
And he realized why as soon as he was over the threshold. It was like looking in to a shattered mirror. He saw himself all around the room, in various positions as both patron and employees of Max’s deli.
A Five in the middle of the room stood up as soon as he noticed them, a look of sheer surprise on his face. Y/N strolled forward without hesitation and met him half-way. This Five, this him, held out his arms towards her and she fell in to them, welcoming his embrace. All the while his eyes glared over her head, straight in to Five’s skull. If looks could kill.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need your help.” She explained, “Things are going south topside and I figured when it comes to apocalypses, the more Fives, the merrier.”
“I’m sorry, does someone want to explain to me what the actual fuck is going on?” Five interrupted them.
Booth Five bared his teeth, “What’s going on, asshole, is that you left her down here on her own after you fucked-.”
“Hey, no!” Y/N put a hand on his chest to urge him to stop talking, “Come sit down, Five, and we’ll explain.”
She gestured to Booth’s usual table.
“You’re giving him far too much Grace, darling,” Booth growled in her ear as she slid in to the seat beside him, completely ignoring her Five’s pleading eyes as he realized that she was not going to take take the place next to him.
Y/N placed a gentle hand on Booth’s thigh under the table, giving it a soft squeeze in attempt to keep him calm. She didn’t need them going after each other before she even got the first word out.
Booth took that as his cue to move closer to her, closing the small space between them, purposely brushing his thigh against hers. She ignored him, but couldn’t help the goose-bumps that erupted across her skin at his close proximity. It was crazy what reactions he could bring out of her, even with her timeline’s version of him sitting across from them.
Five eyed them, his mouth set in to a hard line like he was trying, with great difficulty, not to say something.
“Explain,” he demanded, “What is going on, Y/N?”
“It’s a waypoint,” she told him, “they’re all you from different timelines.”
Five looked around the deli, taking in all of the different versions of himself. Most of them were lounging, enjoying lunch or a newspaper, while others seemed fresh out of whatever hell their timeline had to offer. A version of him was obviously very drunk, attempting to drown his sorrows in a bottle of something hard.
“How did you even know about this place?”
“I found it when you brought me down here after…everything.” She recalled, “Or more like it found me.”
Waiter Five stopped at the table, sitting two black coffees, two pastrami sandwiches and a cup of tea in front of them.
She smiled up at him, “Could you please tell the kitchen that they’re going to burn the brisket this afternoon and that they should be extra vigilant about it.”
Waiter Five seemed unperturbed by her prophecy, as if he had witnessed them a thousand times. Which she realized, he probably had. “Sure thing, sweetheart. Thanks for the heads up.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You’re not going to like that,” Booth said as Five reached for his cup, pulling a pastrami sandwich towards himself simultaneously.
“Can we stay on track, boys?” Y/N chastised, “We have a lot to figure out.”
Booth launched in to his explanation about how there was never supposed to be multiple timelines. And how their existence was the very problem they’d been trying to solve this entire time.
“When you look ahead, what do you see, Y/N?” Five questioned her.
She closed her eyes, trying to block out the various clattering and background noises of the deli, but try as she might she was met with nothing but a solid, unyielding, darkness. She expected it to feel cold or maybe lonely, but it didn’t feel like anything at all. There was nothing there.
“I don’t feel anything,” she concluded, opening her eyes to find two identical, worried faces watching her closely. “I can’t see anything. Usually I can at least gather little glimpses of things I can piece together but it’s dark.”
“If that’s what you’re seeing, then that means my plan will work.”
————
Five bolted out of the deli so swiftly, she didn’t have time for a proper goodbye with Booth.
She was thinking about going back when Five grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks, “What the hell was all of that back there? Is there something going on between you and…me? Him?”
She pulled herself out of his grip, “And why would you care if there was, Five?”
“Because I love you,” his voice cracked, “You know I love you.”
“You didn’t love me enough to not fuck Lila,” her voice wobbled, but she wouldn’t cry. Not over this. Not anymore. “You didn’t love me enough to not fall in love with her too.”
“It was seven years, Y/N. We…we didn’t think we were going to find a way home. We were alone. We were tired. You have to understand that.”
“No, I really don’t,” the anger in her chest flared up once again, red hot and burning, “You spent forty years alone, looking for a way back to your family, and you did everything you could to do so. But you’re telling me that this time you gave up after just seven? I know you, Five, and I know that deep down you always knew that you’d find a way. But you got comfortable with her and you just stopped trying.”
“What’s worse is that I could understand if it were just the three of us mixed up in this mess, but it’s not! Lila is MARRIED! Lila is a MOTHER! Lila is married to your brother and the mother to your nieces and nephew. You drove their marriage apart. You knew you would be breaking up a family and that still didn’t stop you. You weren’t alone anymore, Five. I was there. I’ve been there. I’ve always been there when you needed me and that still wasn’t enough. You aren’t this sad little boy lost alone in the apocalypse anymore. You’re a full-grown, adult man and it’s time that you own up to your mistakes. And this is a big one.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’ll never be able to fix this?” He asked, “You’re never going to forgive me? You won’t even try?”
“How could I, Five?” She took a deep breath, steadying herself, “How could I when all I can see when I think about you, is her? You kissing her. You fucking her. You loving her. And that’ll always be there. It might dull over time but it will always be there playing in the back of my mind. So, no, we can’t fix this and I don’t want to. I won’t put myself through it just to come out the other side burned again. I respect myself too much.”
“And him?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“He’s literally me. It’s very much my business.” Five was trying to sound casual, but she could tell that her words were eating at him. That it stung more than he would ever let on.
“But he’s not you, not really,” she said pointedly, “And he loves me, Five. In a way I’m not sure you ever did. Why else would we spend all of these years together and never actually move forward with our relationship? But none of that matters anyways. If we do this correctly, we’ll be gone and so will every other timeline. We’ll all cease to exist. And maybe that’s for the best.”
They stared at each other for a moment, a silent standoff.
“I do love you, you know,” Five’s voice was barely above a whisper, but his tone shattered her heart all over again, “But I never felt like I deserved you and I’m so sorry that it took me this long to realize that you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”
“I’m sorry that it took you that long, too,” she said, “And I’m sorry that things have to end this way, but they are ending. In more ways than one. And we have to face it whether we’re ready for it or not.”
————
They did it. Not only had they restored things the way they should be, but they had managed to save themselves in the process.
They had lost their powers again, for good this time, but she didn’t care. If she was being truly honest with herself, she never wanted them back anyways. It was nice to look forward to the future without tiny glimpses of what was to come. Glimpses that usually set her on edge and kept her from truly living in the present.
She and Five had gone their separate ways. It was better that way. They both moved out of their shared apartment and she moved in with Allison, Claire and Klaus for a while until she found her footing again. Eventually that footing came in the form of a steady job downtown and a small studio apartment she could call her own.
As for Lila and Diego, they were continuing to try to make things work for their family. Lila had personally come to her and apologized once the dust settled. She told her that she and Diego were now attending couples counseling and were trying to move past things.
As much as she should hate Lila, she couldn’t. They would get along for Diego’s sake. Things were never going to be the way they were before, but they didn’t need to be.
Despite her newfound contentment, she thought about Booth Five often. It saddened her to know that it was likely that he no longer even existed somewhere out there.
She thought about how every Five in that deli had fought so hard to make things right but none of them had even come close to an iota, a fraction, of the happiness that they deserved.
———
It was a rainy Sunday morning and she was spending it curled up on her couch with trashy, mindless TV and a cup of tea.
She was just contemplating the idea of a nap when a soft, hesitant knock sounded at her door.
“Hold on!” She called, pausing the tv and wrapping the blanket around herself to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra and her pajamas had seen much better days. She hadn’t been expecting company.
She looked through the peep hole, her heart dropping a bit at who she found on the other side.
Five stood there, his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels, as he waited for her to open the door. She hadn’t seen him since an impromptu family brunch over a month ago. He typically made himself scarce when she was around. Not that she blamed him.
She did a small round of the breathing exercises her therapist taught her before undoing the chain and padlock.
She had barely cracked the door open when she realized that something was just slightly off about her visitor. His eyes found hers and her breath caught in her chest. Those green eyes, as familiar to her as her own, did not belong to the Five she had expected to see.
“Booth?” She gasped, her head spinning.
He looked utterly perplexed by her nickname for him, but a grin spread across his face anyways, “You call me Booth?”
“How?” She squeaked, throwing the door open, “It is you, right?”
“It’s me,” he confirmed, “God, I’ve missed you.”
She threw herself at him, blanket forgotten, and he caught her with a surprised grunt, steadying her on her feet as she peppered his face with kisses. Wherever she could reach, she planted her lips there.
“How?” She breathlessly questioned him between kisses, “How are you here?”
“It’s a long story,” he told her, unwilling to let her go now that he finally had her in his arms, “One I promise I’ll tell you later, but right now, please don’t stop kissing me.”
She complied, stepping back just long enough to yank him in to her apartment by his collar, slamming the door behind them.
As soon as he heard the latch click, his hands were on her, starving for affection. Y/N returned those affections tenfold, scaling him without reservation.
Caution be damned.
“You’re here,” she repeated over and over, still unable to wrap her mind around it.
“I��m here,” he reassured her, running his fingertips along her spine, taking in the feel of her, “And I’m not going anywhere, if you’ll have me.”
She pressed her lips to his in answer, her fingers threading into his hair, pulling him closer.
“As if I would let you get away again.”
He chuckled against her lips before deepening the kiss, moving his hands to her waist. He dug his fingertips in there, oh so deliciously, and she melted against him. Everything with him had always felt so right, natural, from the moment he first held her in the deli.
Fated. Meant to be. Call it what you will, but she knew that being with him was worth all of the inherent risks that came with it.
They were lying in her bed, wrapped up in each other, as Booth drew lazy circles up and down her arm.
“You don’t mind me calling you Booth, do you? It was just easier to differentiate between the two of you in my head that way.”
He laughed, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, “Sweetheart, you can call me whatever you want as long as you call me yours.”
Her cheeks warmed and she buried her face in his neck, taking in the scent that was uniquely him. Uniquely Booth.
“I love you,” she hummed.
“I love you too,” he tilted her chin up so that they were nose to nose, “Thank you for giving me a chance.”
Tag List:
@hydrationqueensworld
@mangoshorthand
@isabelcor3
@heyyitsreign
@mrfeenysmustache
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altgojo · 2 days
Text
Love always make itself known. (a katsuki Bakugo/reader…)
Summary : you knew that you will always be there for him, no matter what happens, because you know that you love him. But what you didn’t know is that he does too, and he would do anything for you… wc: 1,6 k Author note: you know how I started from a Drabble? Now I wrote a whole ass oneshot😭, I originally wanted to do this with a prohero!tomura/reader but I fear that I didn’t know how to construct such thing in one single part 🤕, butttt if you want it then maybe I could do it😇. Anyways, I hope you like it :3
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Warnings: a little tiniest tiny bit of angst, but it’s a happy ending, fluff, they are both in love with each others to the point when it HURT like just confess😭, but they do eventually, f!reader, clingy katsuki because why tf not?
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The sunshine was seeping through the glass panels of the window, gracing the room with a newfound warmth after a long cold night. As the sun rises up, the bright light slowly arose you from your sleep. 
As you get your own self accommodated to waking up, you notice that you were wrapped into a strong embrace, you try to slowly turn around, then as you look at their face, you remember all the things that occurred the day before.
      He saved you.
He saved you. You thought you were doomed for, your back colliding with the brick wall behind you, grunting in pain as you try to move, but to no avail. Your eyes were getting blurry and your mind was foggy, the only thing you can see is his face.
      You wished that you confessed.
      You wished that you had the guts to. 
You were ashamed, you wanted to be strong alongside him, you wanted to be with him. But you couldn’t, because you were a coward, and we all know cowards get nothing. 
      He sees you.
 And all that flashes into his mind as he sees you there, all sprawled with your back to that wall, is pure unfiltered rage. He wanted to be strong enough for you, he always trained so hard to do so, but there he is, he lets you get severely injured. Like the weakling he is. But he doesn’t have time to think about such things, he has to save you, as fast as possible.
      So he does. 
As flashes of your memories with him race in your mind, you feel large arms encapsulating you in his embrace, holding so tightly, but you don’t feel anything, so you just bask in his warmth as he shouts at you to talk to him. He finishes the villain off with you in his arms, you feel his rage and his anger as they escape his body, with an intensity that can rival the biggest waves crashing onto the shore . Then you smile, you smile because you are glad that you set your sights on him from the beginning, because to you, even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you still won’t stop loving him. 
    He is everything to you.
    But you are also everything to him,
    You just don’t know it.
That’s why, once you opened your eyes, he instantly appeared in your field of vision, he held your hand right away as he spoke.
“If you had died, I would have killed you”
You held his hand tighter. You realised that you missed him, even when he was right there, with you, in the hospital room, you missed him and you are glad you are here with him. You don’t realise that you were crying until you felt his hand wiping your tears away. His hand feels slightly different than when you were both teenagers, soon to be pros. But, even so, they still held the care and the warmth that they always did. 
 “Why the hell are you crying? I’m right here.”
‘I am right here, I am not going anywhere.’ That’s what he wanted to say, but he knows that you will understand him anyway, you always did, that’s why he was always at ease with you. You didn’t just dismiss him as an “angry aggressive person with no other feelings” like all people did, you saw right through him. You understood him, and that scared him at first. He tried to push you away, but you remained still, even when you both fought, he always found his way back to you. Because he realises that his future lays with you, with nobody else but you.
You look at him as he is deep in thought. With a relaxed smile on your face, you softly spoke, finally meeting his eyes.
“You can’t kill me if I already died, katsuki.”
As you finished, you realised that you just broke his train of thoughts, he looked slightly shocked for a second before he mutters :
“I don’t care, I will if you did.”
You muse back with a soft laugh :
“Then I won’t, never dreamt of doing so.”
You both stare back at each other for a while, silently looking at every detail on each other’s face, both trying to reserve this as one of the plenty of memories that you both shared. 
  You got discharged from the hospital two days after. Fortunately, you only had one severe injury that was nearly healed thanks to recovery girl (she came just after the villain attack because katsuki urged her to come. You made sure to thank her profusely for healing you.)
As you were about to leave the hospital, you found katsuki right outside waiting for you. As he sets his sights on you, he rushes to your side, and helps you get onto the car, his car.
You both sat in silence, listening to the low sounds emitting from his radio that acts as some sort of white sound in the car. That’s until katsuki turns it completely off and starts talking:
“I already talked to your agency and told them about your condition and the physical state that you are in, you need a lot of rest so I better not see you there until you fully heal, understood?”
Just based on his keen, stoic tone, you knew you couldn’t argue with him. So, you just sank further onto the cushioned leather seat of his car, opting to look out the window instead. Katsuki kept stealing glances at you from time to time, checking if you were okay. After some time, you reached your front doorstep. As you turned around, ready to unbuckle your seatbelt, you were outrun by katsuki as he unbuckled the belt for you, and then his. sensing your confused glance onto his back as he opened his car’s door, he quips:
“You need assistance, so you’ll better let me accompany you without being such an annoying brat.”
And that’s how you find yourself being tended by him all afternoon, never leaving your side, and if he does by chance, he keeps you near him or steal glances at you to make sure you are doing good. You know why katsuki is acting like this, you saw his face once you woke up on the hospital bed. He was scared, afraid of losing you. That’s why you don’t complain nor tease him about his clinginess, you just let him be, plus you always like it when he gets clingy, even when it comes with a tinge of guilt. Because he always gets clingy whenever something bad happens between you two. You brush that thought off as you remained on the couch while he is making dinner, reminding you of your time in UA common rooms, when you and all your friends lounge together in the living room while katsuki cooked , but now, it’s just you and him. 
When katsuki finishes up making dinner, he beckons you over to the table, almost acting like he owns the place and that the house is his , not yours. As you sit down, you both eat in silence until he starts to glance at you, that’s when you know he wants to initiate a conversation, so you look up and he begins:
"Just what the hell was going through your mind when you decided to face that villain?"
You look straight into his eyes, your posture radiating confidence even when you really don’t feel it at that moment, fake it till you make it I guess.
"What do you mean? I am a prohero katsuki, of course I would go against a villain. What do you want me to do? Watch you defeat them yourself?"
Katsuki scrunches his face as he starts to get mad. His expression is a clear indication of that.
"I know that you are a prohero, but that does not mean that you should just jump infront of villains with no plan whatsoever and take their blows."
You lowers your eyes and look anywhere but katsuki’s face, all the initial confidence in you blew away after his perfect response, damn he caught me!
Katsuki sees your look as a signal to continue, probably because he knows that he caught you right where he wanted to.
"I know that you want to beat as many villains as you could, and I have always appreciated the dedication that you have to beating villains asses, but you should be careful so they don’t beat your ass up instead. I won’t always be there with you on missions to save your ass so you better not do this anytime soon, I want you to use your brain and think before jumping to action, got it?"
Katsuki then stops to analyse your reaction, glancing right through you, your eyes widen for a second as you process his words, and then, you look up and smile at him. His heart melting at the sight of it, he never wants you to lose your smile, he never wants to lose you.
As you look up at him, you smile, your heart melts with his words, even if he talks in that way, you always see right through his words, he cares about you, and you do too. You trust him with your life. 
So you decided it’s time. 
It’s now or never. 
You look straight at his beautiful, ethereal crimson eyes and say.
"I love you, katsuki.”
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That’s how you find yourself, as a new day begins, under your sheets, with the man whom you have always and will pour your love into, and he will do the same if not more. 
As you look at his sleeping face, he is slowly arising from his sleep, almost in command. 
    because whenever you look at him, 
    he would always be there, 
    at your service. 
And then his eyes meet yours and the first sentence he utters is:
"I love you most."
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copyright © 2024 altgojo. do not copy, remake or edit any of my works, you can reblog it but do not reupload on any platform, thank u.
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shiroxichigo · 2 days
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Ichigo gets a lot of shit (typically from outside of the Bleach fandom) for being a character whose wants/goals never change from beginning to end of his series. He always wants to protect people (and even though I could argue that he went from only wanting to protect those close to him to wanting to protect everyone he can, that's not the point I'm making with this post).
I think a lot of people who only give Bleach a passing glance fail to see Ichigo's true character growth. It's not about what his goals are or who he's trying to protect, but rather, it's about how he achieves it.
Ichigo is very self-sacrificing in the first third of Bleach. He believes that if the mission is successful, then it doesn't matter how broken or close to death he gets. The mission, saving Rukia (and hurting/killing as few people in the process), is all that matters.
Then, when a part of himself (his inner hollow) emerges, and says "hey yeah no, I'm not letting you get yourself killed and I'm also not letting you hold back against your enemy", Ichigo immediately rejects it.
It's not until he defeats his inner Hollow that we see Ichigo really dive into a fight with the intent to kill. The problem is, once his Hollow is defeated, he thinks that's it. He's freed himself of that part of him and he can go back to being self-sacrificing.
We see this throughout the Hueco Mundo arc. It's why saving Orihime parallels saving Rukia. Ichigo naively thinks he can suppress a part of himself. He bottles it up until it explodes, coming back to haunt him in his fight with Ulquiorra, etc. He learns that side of himself isn't so easily tucked away, and if he recklessly endangers himself, he could end up endangering his friends too. At his own hand, no less.
Then Ichigo discovers he can commit the ultimate sacrifice. Final Getsuga Tenshou. He can throw away these powers and the parts of himself that he doesn't like, and he can get rid of Aizen all in one go. He's lucky that it worked, but only because Kisuke was there.
Then, once Ichigo is powerless, he learns that's not what he really wants. Life doesn't "go back to normal". The can is open, and there's danger out there beyond just Aizen. And Ichigo can't do anything to stop it unless he gets his powers back.
So he does. Then he cuts down the threat to his friends and family. And he doesn't hesitate this time. Yes, he still has compassion for his enemies (he even goes to the Soul Society to ask for Ginjo's body so he can give him a proper burial), but he's learned not to hold back and he's learned that new threats will appear and he'd rather have the power to face them head on.
So then comes TYBW, and Ichigo is facing battles head-on without hesitation. He goes straight to the "bad guys" with the intention of cutting them down. He learns the truth about who his Inner Hollow is, and he accepts it. He's even willing to accept whatever consequences may come from training in the Royal Palace and becoming stronger. He accepts his power and potential fully, and learns that he has what it takes to protect his loved ones with his strength, and not with a sacrifice.
Ultimately, he heals the part of himself that thinks his life is worth less than other people's. He heals the part of himself that blames himself for not protecting his mother (when he was 9!! Like come on Isshin, put the kid in therapy!! Anyway...) He grows into someone who knows his self worth. And I think, for me at least, that makes him one of my favourite protagonists of all time. Because can't most of us relate to feeling worthless at times? And don't we also wanna overcome that?
Thanks for reading my ramble lmao, I'm sure this could have been more elegantly written but I'm very sleepy and just wanted to get my thoughts out there.
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destinyisastar · 2 days
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3. Static Remains
Read: 1.The Prequel Static Death ,2. Static Heart
Summary: You're still getting used to your new home in hell when Alastor says he has a surprise waiting for you. What could it be?
This is for the anon that wanted to see how Alastor punishes his wife's killer. I hope you enjoy!!
Alastor x Angel Wife reader
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You learned very quickly that angels aren’t very welcomed in hell.
Even though Alastor has only been here a short while, he told you that there’s a day in hell where there are angels, called exterminators, that kill sinners.
How horrible, these sinners died in life only to be killed again by angels.
Angels… that are known for their purity and virtue (at least in life) killing sinners.
With this reasoning you are not to be out in public without Alastor, or without specific clothing to hide your wings.
One of the minor problems of hiding your angel self was your halo, but it was quickly solved, since you were able to take it off as if it were a hat.
Alastor had taken hell with stride, he was quickly becoming more powerful with each soul he’d make a deal with, along with the fact that he’s been killing overlords.
You’re not very keen on his soul taking but whatever makes your husband happy, makes you happy, and the killing, well, that’s his business.
With his killing of the many overlords and the non-stop soul taking, he eventually became an overlord himself, not that he had try very hard. You had seen firsthand how powerful your husband is.
You were at home, getting dinner ready for your husband. He told you (now that you both were in hell) how he liked to have his meals, which just happened to be raw venison or sinners.
You were a bit worried about the raw venison because, well, couldn’t he get sick? When you asked him about it he just laughed and patted your head.
“I don’t think I’ll die of sickness, cher!
You were even more worried about him eating sinners. How did he even like eating sinners? Isn’t that cannibalism? You also asked him about it, and he had to come out with the truth.
“In our life my dear there were certain aspects of myself that I hid from you, which one of them just happened to be my eating habits.”
You didn’t push him any further, but you did say that you wouldn’t try any sinner meat just yet, maybe you’ll try the raw venison one of these days… that seems to be the better option for you.
You take the venison out of the fridge and begin plating your meals (you cooked yours on the stove).
You hear steps coming from your front door, and in walks Alastor with a wide sinister smile on his face.
“Good evening my dear!” He walks up behind you placing his hands on your waist, kissing your cheek.
“Good evening my love, how was your day?” He begins to pull you away from the kitchen and pulls you into the living room, his staff leaning on one of the couches playing a jazzy tune.
“Hmmm, it was quite delightful!” He nuzzles his face with yours, and slowly sways you into a dance.
“That’s wonderful to hear.”
You both dance around the room for a moment when he bends you down slightly, lips almost touching.
“I have a surprise for you.” He whispers.
“Oh, you do?” you bring your lips closer
“Mmmmhmmm.” He kisses you and brings you back to your feet.
He takes your hand and leads you out the door, not before grabbing you a coat.
“Where are we going Al?”
“Oh, you’ll see!” He seems energetic.
Up ahead you see what looks to be a radio station. It looks like the one Alastor had when you both were alive.
“Is this place yours, love?”
“It certainly is!”
Alastor takes you into the station, still holding your hand, and leads you inside his booth. It’s completely pitch black, so he lets go of your hand to turn on the lights.
Once the lights turn on you see…
You see a sinner, a…. fox sinner tied up with a gag in her mouth.
“Alastor what… who is this?!” You try to run to the sinner to take off her bindings, but Alastor holds you back.
“Now, now my dear… you may not recognize her, well, you never actually met her, but this sinner, “His voice crackles, he glares at the fox, “is the one who murdered you, my love.”
You look at the sinner, “How can you be so sure….?”
“Well, why don’t we ask her? “Alastor walks towards the sinner ripping the gag off her mouth.
The fox spits in his face, “FUCK YOU! YOU DESERVE TO BE IN HELL! I’LL KILL YOUR BITCH AGAIN UNTILL YOU FEEL MY PAIN! FUCK YOU ALA-“She gets cut off by Alastor slamming her head into the floor, wiping his face.
“Well, I do believe that was enough proof, don’t you think?” Alastor looks back to you.
“What… what are you going to do to her?” You continue to stare at the sinner.
“I don’t believe this thing should be allowed to live.”
“But….”
“But nothing darling! This filthy, retched, disgusting creature, deservers more than death.”
You don’t know how to respond.
How… how are you supposed to react when your killer shows their face?
The fox… not only was she in rage but she was in pain.
“Why did she kill me?”
“Because- “
“BECAUSE THAT DEMON NEXT TO YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND!” The fox launches herself from the floor to you. You brace yourself, putting your arms up.
The sinner pushes you to the floor, taking a hold of you and sinks her teeth into your right arm, you scream in pain. Golden blood drips from your arm.
Alastor rips her off you, throwing the sinner against the wall, having his shadows hold her in place.
You put pressure on your arm as you sit up.
The sinners mouth drips with your blood, “Your gonna die, die, die, die, DIE!” The shadows wrap around her mouth tightly.
Alastor bends down to your level, grabbing your arm licking the blood till it stops spouting.
“Do you see now my dear? What wretched beings live down here.”
You feel yourself tremble, you continue to stare at the sinner.
“She said you killed her husband,” You look into Alastor’s eyes, “did you kill him?”
He looks into your eyes before speaking, “Yes, I did.”
“Why-“
“That man was no gentleman. He was a foul, foul creature. Hitting women when they wouldn’t give him what he wanted, trapping women in the alleyways wanting to take advantage of them.”
Alastor kisses your arm all the way to your knuckles.
“He had set his sights on you next.”
You look to him, eyes widen.
“I found out while we were at the diner, you were eating your pancakes with a side of bacon and eggs, I got up to use the bathroom. Her husband was in there talking to another man, they didn’t see me come in.”
“I don’t want to repeat their vulgar words….”
“Creatures like them don’t deserver to live.” His voice starts to crackle with static.
You push yourself into him, wrapping your arms around him.
“I’m sorry Alastor!”
Alastor is stunned for a bit, “Whatever for my love?”
“If… if it wasn’t for me, you would still be alive!”
“Darling, don’t blame yourself for my doings, I did this on my own free will.”
“I would never allow anything to happen to you.” He cups your cheek.
You turn away from him to face the sinner on the wall.
“Did she know... that he did all that?”
“Of course she did, but she was too blind to see it all, she claims to love him dearly but that was only when his check would come in.” His smile stretches further.
The sinner’s eyes widen, and she begins to try to thrash around.
“Don’t you try to move now.” Alastor stands and walks toward her, his stature growing taller, eyes turning into dials.
“ɎØɄ ₮ØØ₭ ₥Ɏ ₩ł₣Ɇ₴ ł₦₦Ø₵Ɇ₦₮ Ⱡł₣Ɇ ₳₩₳Ɏ ₣ØⱤ ɎØɄⱤ Ø₩₦ ₴ɆⱠ₣ł₴Ⱨ ĐɆ₴łⱤɆ”
The sinner stops thrashing around and stills.
“ⱧØ₩ ₱₳₮Ⱨ₮ł₵”
You don’t move from your spot on the ground, yet you turn your head away.
Alastor grabs the sinner by her neck, the shadows disappear back into him, and slams her into the floor three times.
The sinner screams in pain as Alastor yanks her to her knees and opens her mouth grabbing her tongue with his clawed hands.
“ł'ⱠⱠ ₥₳₭Ɇ ɎØɄ ₣ɆɆⱠ ₥Ɏ ₱₳ł₦ ɎØɄ ₴₳łĐ.”
His grip tightens on her tongue.
“ⱧØ₩ ₳฿ØɄ₮ ł ₴ⱧØ₩ ɎØɄ ⱧØ₩ ɎØɄⱤ ⱧɄ₴฿₳₦Đ ₣ɆⱠ₮ ₮ⱧɆ ₱₳ł₦ ł₦₴₮Ɇ₳Đ?”
Alastor rips her tongue out and she falls to the ground, groaning, screaming in pain.
She starts to crawl away, but Alastor steps on her head with one foot.
“ɎØɄⱤ ₦Ø₮ ₲Ɇ₮₮ł₦₲ ₳₩₳Ɏ ₮Ⱨ₳₮ Ɇ₳₴Ɏ”
His staff appears in his hands and begins jamming the end of the staff into her skull, he’s laughing maniacally.
There are 24 holes in her head. Alastor raises the end of the staff to his mouth and gathers the remains on his tongue and swallows.
“ɎØɄ ₩ɆⱤɆ ฿Ɇ₮₮ɆⱤ Ø₣₣ ĐɆ₳Đ”
Alastor returns back into his “normal” self and turns to you to see your hands covering your ears with your eyes shut.
 You look up feeling the static die down.
“My dear, how would you feel about having fox stew for dinner tonight?” He jokingly asks.
Your face pales.
“I’m just joking with you my love” He moves towards you and pulls you up.
“No one will ever cause you harm.”
You nuzzle your face into his chest.
“I know….,” You look up at him, “I love you.”
“I love you forever, my darling.”
Alastor turns to see the sinner unmoving, he’ll probably return to the station tomorrow to skin the fox, you need a new coat anyways, it’ll be a gift to show his love. For now you’ll both return home, go to bed and embrace each other.
He looks to his panel and see the red light on, the sound of the dead fox screaming was blasted all throughout pride ring.
Now every sinner will learn not to mess with the Ɽ₳ĐłØ ĐɆ₥Ø₦.
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Part 3 of Lost in your love will be out tomorrow, so stay tuned!!
Thank you for reading!!
Word Count: 1678
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all-0f-the-above · 2 days
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the superhero's parallel to the hero's journey is one of an almost unbreakable curse: someone is harmed or killed while you are unable to stop it. you spend the next part of your life learning how to stop exactly that, promising yourself it won't happen again. you think to yourself, "if only I had been more prepared the first time, then I could have stopped it."
except defusing bombs isn't the issue. the person planting them is.
betrayal can't be anticipated: that's what makes it a betrayal.
and it's impossible to predict every single time someone will need life saving medical care.
still, you fantasize, "if I had the knowledge I have now, things would be different." and you save others from the same situation. time and time again. but still you ache. you didn't do it all those years ago. it haunts your every triumph.
it's not until you look in from the outside. the exact same thing happens to someone else this time, and you weren't able to stop it.
as you're beating yourself up for it and desperately trying to control the damage that's been done, you see someone sitting off to the side. they are alone and wrapped in a blanket. when you talk to them, you are shocked to hear that they blame themselves.
"What?!" you exclaim, "it wasn't your responsibility to stop this- you couldn't have known! it's on the shoulders of the perpetrators and people like me, who couldn't make it in time."
they are inconsolable. "from now on," they say, "I won't be so naive, and I will do everything I can to stop this from happening again."
you know when a battle is lost, so all you can do is nod and step away. back to your own business.
but it makes you terribly sad for someone to lose their innocence in such a way. to blame themselves for the consequences of someone else's evil. to never again see the world as a hopeful place: just a mosaic of fulfilled and missed opportunities.
and your story, the hero's story, will be tragic as long as you continue without looking inward.
it is only by considering your own beliefs that you are free of the vicious cycle:
sometimes, there is no happy ending, no clever way out. sometimes, awful things happen and there is nothing we can do about it. all we can do is pick ourselves off the ground, movement by excruciating movement, and hold our heads high. we continue. because it is worth it. not because you can "fix" things now. not because you will do things "right" this time. but because you deserve a good life. a life after the bad things. a joyful life.
this is when when you, the hero, finally realize that you're living a triumph. that even after something tragic happens, your life is not a tragedy.
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Was reading a headcanon post earlier about Dean and consent while rewatching the kiss scene in Caged Heat and something occurred to me about Dean’s awareness of Cas’s consent to things.
When he sees Meg kiss Cas, we see Dean’s reaction behind them.
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He frowns, glances at Sam, looking annoyed, opens his mouth as though to say something, and then actually makes a move to step towards them-you can see he’s moving forward just after Meg breaks away from Cas.
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Bear in mind the last time Dean saw Cas in any potential sexual/romantic situation, it was the brothel and it was blatantly obvious that Cas wasn’t comfortable.
Then when Cas takes hold of Meg and initiates a kiss himself, we see Dean’s reaction differs. He still looks flustered, mildly annoyed (pointing at the wall to remind them silently of the approaching dogs) and then shrugs. He doesn’t have the same irritated reaction and doesn’t make any move towards them.
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Then when Cas breaks away, Dean looks at him questioningly. Could both be a “What the hell are you doing right now?” questioning look and also a “What did you think?” questioning look.
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It’s only when Cas says “I learnt that from the Pizza Man” that Dean seems to fully stand down from the “ready to move in if anything’s wrong” stance.
On another note, when Dean realises that Cas is fine- it’s pretty interesting to see what his face does.
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There’s a sort of bewildered expression as he looks away from Cas, as though he’s still trying to compute what he’s just seen and his eyes actually widen as he looks down at the end of the shot. In fact, the shot actually focuses on Dean specifically in that moment, not any of the others-it’s Dean’s reaction to the kiss that’s important.
It makes more sense when you remember Dean has never seen Cas acting consensually in any romantic situation before-in fact, I think Jensen mentioned later on (as to why Dean was so surprised by Cas’s love confession) that he wasn’t even sure angels could feel those things. Up until now, Dean’s teasing Cas with flirty remarks has mostly seemed to go over Cas’s head. Even earlier in the episode, when Cas is watching porn, he didn’t seem to properly understand what was going on.
Now, Dean’s suddenly having this realisation that-oh. Cas does get some stuff about sex. Cas does kiss. Oh. That’s a whole new side to Cas. (It actually looks quite similar to the expression he does in Changing Channels when Gabe calls Cas “pretty”. There’s an expression then that’s sort of “Wait-is he?” as though he’s always been somewhat aware of it but this is the first time it’s been acknowledged out loud.)
It allows him to acknowledge Cas in a whole new way he didn’t before. Because previously Cas seemed to totally lack interest in sex, so in many ways, it would have been safe to flirt with him and tease him, because it feels off-limits.
Now, though? He’s seeing Cas make out with someone right there, in front of him. It’s impossible to ignore this whole new side to Cas. So maybe Cas can get Dean’s references and jokes. Maybe Cas does get more of the personal space thing than he lets on. Cas can want at least kissing, and what does that mean?
It, in a way, gives Dean permission to let himself see Cas that way properly-as a being that can want sex-for the very first time. And that seems to simultaneously intrigue him and almost scare him. Because having permission to see Cas in that way lets him acknowledge things that he didn’t have to acknowledge before.
But digressing…
Dean’s annoyance in the scene didn’t just originate from Cas kissing someone-it originated from him not being sure if Cas was OK with what was going on. He’s seen Cas be deeply unsure/uncomfortable in the brothel (which, funny as it was, wasn’t Dean’s best moment overall), doesn’t know how he’s going to react and actually makes a move towards them as though he’s going to try to stop Meg kissing him or make sure Cas is OK.
Once he realises Cas is onboard, he stops moving forward-he actually moves back a little-and even slightly holds his hands up in a shrug. While he still looks uncomfortable and flustered, he’s no longer angry.
Dean wanted to be sure that Cas was all right with what was going on, was prepared to step in if Cas was uncomfortable, and backed off when he realised Cas was OK. Not only is this Dean showing a good awareness of consent, it’s also a nice bit of character development from the brothel episode the previous season, where Cas was pretty uncomfortable and Dean did-as well as he meant it-keep pushing him.
Then, Dean was keen on giving Cas more human experiences. Now, Dean’s more conscious of letting Cas go at his own pace and he’s prepared to step in if others aren’t letting that happen too. As well as Cas becoming more accepting of human behaviour, Dean is also making adjustments for Cas.
And Cas seems aware of this. Check out where he looks when he realises Meg has taken his angel blade:
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He realises it’s gone and must know immediately who’s taken it-but he looks straight at Dean, almost in a way that’s a little annoyed. As though he almost wants to ask Dean why he didn’t intervene to stop Meg taking the blade (not necessarily the kiss).
And he looks at Dean instinctively. Instinctively, he’s come to know that Dean will step in to help him in (particularly human) situations where he’s out of his depth. It’s an instinctive glance before he turns back to glare at Meg.
So it’s not just that Dean’s adjusting for Cas-Cas is aware of that adjustment and it just deepens his attachment to Dean.
And yeah-for the first time in this scene, Dean has to acknowledge that he can think of Cas as not being some off-limits angel-but as someone who could actually want sex and intimacy. Which makes anything he himself may feel more possible and more terrifying.
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matrixbearer2024 · 2 days
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"Lean left! Hard right! Hold tightly to her helm, she'll try to drown you just for spite!"
"Heave, ho! 'Til first light! She'll give a fight to all who try to claim 'The Shadow'!"
"None can tame the one the sailors call: 'The Shadow'!"
Cuz I was working on something pretty angsty with this guy and realized how sad the reunion of this AU would technically be have Aeschylus(Max) being a sailor post-weirdmaggedon joining his father and uncle on their sea adventures. The song that this post is referencing is a sea shanty by Sail North; 'Tale of The Shadow'.
As always, more lore below the cut!
Of the triplets, Aeschylus is the oldest. He came out 20 minutes before Alexander and 35 minutes before Athena. He's the one most like his father in terms of mannerism and hubris, this guy was the one I mentioned being Ford's mini-me always seeking him out whenever the old man's not around.
Aeschylus is also the most adventurous of the triplets since he's curious to a fault, again- very much like Sixer. He's also very trigger-happy and often defaults to violence when being civil with the other party is no longer working or worthwhile, no Stan didn't teach him that. It's just something that developed over time as he grew up an emotionally constipated mess.
"Violence is the language we speak when words no longer suffice."
Sometimes it makes sense he was named after a Greek dramatist, even if Ford had to pick the most ODD poet to name his eldest(technically) after-
That is how his hair normally falls(mostly, he has bangs but he swipes them up because he finds them distracting) if he's not busy slicking it back to avoid looking like Ford, there's a reason why he only starts allowing his hair to fall into it's natural state after Bill's defeat and post-Weirdmaggedon. He doesn't stop wearing contacts though since they're just more convenient than glasses, but he does have glasses and carries them on his person in case of emergency.
There are times he hides Ford's glasses when he's just messing with his old man, he and Stan sometimes have a good laugh about Poindexter being blind as a bat.
Also! The biggest reason why I can see him tagging along with the Sea Stans is due to the biggest fact that very much like Ford, once his huge objective is over and done with– he's at a loss of what to do. His dad on the other hand, wanting to make amends with his brother– suggested the Stan O' War like in canon. Ford's trying to fix his relationships one at a time to get it right. It was Stan who nudged Ford to drag Max along with them as well since he knew inherently those two needed to spend time with each other just as much as he did with his brother.
Yes Stan practically raised the triplets alongside Ford's sweetheart for the entire 30 years yours truly was in the nightmare realm. He's not their dad but he's the dad that stepped the fuck UP- even if it kinda is partially his fault that their dad ended up in that realm in the first place LOLOLOL
Sketchy for this doodle pile is here!
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allzelemonz · 1 day
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Image: Dutch Van der Linde X Male Reader
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Pronouns: he/him, Reader referred to as ‘boy’ Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: T/Violence Warnings: period typical homophobia, internalized homophobia, d/s undertones, reader implied to be younger, age gap, bruises Summary: You mess up and show a little affection in public, Dutch is set off.
You weren’t thinking. It’s been so long since the gang had gone out to a saloon with all this running back West and you’d gotten so used to getting to do what you want affection wise. Dutch, however, did not forget. He was, and always is, thinking so very deeply about everything imaginable. So when you leaned over and brushed your hand against his, he noticed. He noticed like that voice itching the back of his brain said everyone else did.
So he grabbed your arm, fingers bruising at your bicep, and hauled you out and into the alley. A somewhat confused Arthur and Hosea following after and lingering just off the street as Dutch pulls you into shadow.
“The hell are you thinkin’, boy?” Dutch huffs, squeezing harshly at your arm.
“I didn’t--”
“Folks in this state get killed for that and we don’t need the goddamn heat.” His eyebrows fall downward into an angry crinkle. “Do you understand?”
You watch the twitch of his eyes, the way they scan over your face like a man that’s never seen you before. And seeing Dutch so irate with nerves makes words catch in your throat, so you settle for nodding.
“Go get on the damn horse, boy.” Dutch huffs, shoving you towards the awaiting Hosea and Arthur.
You stumble, but do as you’re told. Arthur joins you as Hosea talks to Dutch, both waving the two of you off.
Arthur turns his horse towards the south road. “You can stay in my tent tonight.” He mutters. “‘Less you wanna have Dutch yelling all night.”
So you do. You lie down on your spare bedroll under the same tent as Arthur, who snores louder than a train, utterly and completely restless without Dutch holding you. All because you forgot you can’t be such an invert outside of camp. That’s what echoes in your head until you fall asleep late into the night.
The morning isn’t much better. Grimshaw comes by, kicks your leg to wake you up and shouts at Arthur as she rattles off chores for the day. You try to lose yourself in cutting wood that morning. Hosea’s usual Dutch Damage Control, patent pending, keeps the rest of the gang from asking questions. Even Uncle keeps away while you have an axe in hand, not daring to ask for money while you’re in this state.
It isn’t until your arms ache that someone finally stops you, a hand landing on your shoulder and squeezing. You freeze, knowing it’s Dutch from the familiar rough rings digging into your skin.
“You’re overdoing it.” He mutters.
“I’m fine.”
His hand squeezes harshly, enough to make you want to squirm but Dutch trained you out of that a long time ago. “Tent, boy. Now.”
When his hand leaves your shoulder, you drop the axe without another word. The walk to his tent is silent. The whole camp is on edge as Dutch drops the flaps of his tent. You wait in the middle of the wooden platform of a floor, knowing he’ll tell you where to sit. He does, gestures to the cot.
As you sit, he stares for a moment. His eyes look over you and he adjusts his rings before he speaks. “Hosea said I was too harsh with you.”
“It was fine.”
“Shirt.”
You look up at him for a moment before taking it off. His hand comes to your arm the second it’s gone, fingers brushing the bruises that formed from his grip.
“Just needed you to understand what’s at stake.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, darlin’.”
“You’ve done worse.”
“Only when asked.” Dutch shakes his head, moving his hand to tilt your head up. “I never get carried away like that. I… I was simply worried, my dear.”
“You don’t have to explain.” You turn your head away from his hand. “Just Hosea’s words anyway…”
“Stop that.” He snaps. “You’re my boy, aren’t you?”
You take a breath, staring off into nothing for a moment before nodding lightly.
“Then believe me when I say I’m sorry.” Dutch sighs as he sits beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you to lean against him. “If I’m gonna run cons in town, I need to seem respectable. That’s all.”
“I know.” You mutter.
“I’ll take you out this week, a dinner away from camp… nice hotel.” He chuckles. “But if anyone asks, you’re my nephew.”
“You don’t have to make it up to me, Dutch, just don’t go crazy like that…” You speak softly, leaning further into him until he puts his arms around you.
“Did I scare my boy?”
“Not that much of a pansy.” You mutter.
He sighs, running a hand through your hair. “I missed you last night.”
“Could take a nap.”
He hums, kissing the top of your head. “Wonderful idea, my boy.”
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starryevermore · 8 hours
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dumb love, i love being stupid ✧ ruhn danaan 
angst city™ library |send in a request (consultrequest faqs first)
pairing: ruhn danaan x fem!reader 
summary: you thought you had found your forever, but he wanted to keep it casual. 
word count: 2,346
warnings?: angst city™ bitch, not proofread
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“So how’s it going with that one girl? Been seeing her a lot lately.”
“Eh, we’re just keeping things casual,” Ruhn said, eyeing a pretty faun from across the bar. 
You watched as his friend—Declan, you realize—arched a brow, took a long sip of his drink. Ruhn couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes as Declan said, “That why you keep bringing her around so much?”
“We both know what this is. I like her company, so I invite her out sometimes. That a crime?” Ruhn didn’t wait for an answer. He set his drink down on the bar and began to make his way to the pretty faun. 
“Guess not.” Declan looked away from his friend, eyes somehow finding yours. Despite the distance and lighting, you couldn’t miss the flash of pity. 
Before he could say anything to you, you turned on your heel, ready to leave the White Raven with whatever scraps of your dignity you had intact. You pushed through the throngs of people, ignoring the annoyed voices of those who you accidentally elbowed in the process. You just needed to get out of there. 
A hand caught your arm just as the exit was finally in sight, pulling you to a stop. “Hey! Where are you going? The fun’s just about to start!” Bryce cheered. Behind her stood Hunt, who offered you a smile and a soft “hey.”
Wriggling lose of Bryce’s hold, trying to maintain an air of playfulness, you managed a laugh. “Some of us have early mornings and can’t party til dawn.”
Bryce rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a buzzkill. Do I need to drag Ruhn out of whatever corner he’s hiding in and convince you to stay?”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you prayed neither Bryce nor Hunt could hear it. “Didn’t realize he was here. Saw Declan for, like, half a second.”
She wiggled her eyebrows at you. “So that’s a yes? Getting your boy toy will get you to stay?”
“He’s not my boy toy,” you said, “and it makes me feel icky for you to call your brother that.”
“You’re no fun!” Bryce whined. 
Hunt, either because he believed your story about an early morning or because he could sense your unease, took Bryce by the waist and slowly began to urge her away. “C’mon, this is a losing battle.”
“Fine, but you’re coming to the party this weekend, right?”
You probably weren’t, but if agreeing was what it took to get out of the White Raven without crying in front of Ruhn’s friends, then that’s what you’d do. “Duh, you think I’d miss it?”
Bryce grinned, and Hunt finally successfully urged her into the crowd to find the rest of their friends. You loosed a breath, rolled your shoulders, and made your escape. No one stopped you again, or even spared you a glance. For that, you were grateful. You weren’t sure how much more people-ing you could handle. 
Unfortunately, you did plan on making one more stop before you went home. 
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Ruhn really needed a better hiding spot for his spare key. Was there anything more obvious than a potted plant by the door? It would have been laughable if you weren’t effectively breaking into his home. (Is it really breaking in if you found the key? And when the owner of said key told you where it was hidden?) 
You didn’t bother being quiet, figured that all of the home’s residents were out at the White Raven. Yet, when you shut the door, a voice had you jumping out of your skin. 
“Ruhn come back with you?” Flynn asked, leaning against the entry to the kitchen. 
You tried to steady your breathing and racing heart. “Nah. Think he’s at the White Raven with Declan. I was just swinging by to grab a couple things I left behind.” You held up the spare key for him to see. “Y’all need a better place for this than the only potted plant on the property. You’re practically asking someone to steal all your shit.”
Flynn nodded. “Cool, cool. Shout if you need anything, and try not to rob us blind, yeah?”
“Eh, I’ll leave your shit alone, but can’t say the same for Ruhn and Declan,” you joked despite yourself. 
He snorted out a laugh. “You’re funny. Shame Ruhn got to you first.”
You shrugged. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”
As you walked up to Ruhn’s room, Flynn disappeared into the kitchen. He’d probably leave you alone. As long as you don’t take a long time, probably. You didn’t plan on sticking around, though. You just wanted to grab your things and get out before Ruhn returned with that faun he was eyeing. If he thought this was casual, the last thing he would want is for you to be hanging around while he was trying to get lucky. 
Thankfully, you knew where most of your things were. A couple of shirts thrown in his closet, a jacket strewn over a chair. Some miscellaneous socks mixed in with his laundry. You grabbed your lipgloss you thought you lost from the bathroom, and the pretty hand towel you brought because there was no way in hell you were using the scratchy ones they bought in bulk. Your favorite bras, buried in the top dresser drawer. 
Once you were satisfied you got everything you cared about, you made your way out of the home, praying that you wouldn’t run into Flynn again. 
He was on the couch when you came out. He eyed the bundle of clothes in your arms. “Moving out?” he teased. 
“Getting this stuff out before he thinks I’m trying to move in.”
“You and I both know Ruhn wouldn’t mind if you did. Honestly, he’d probably be more offended you were sneaking all that shit out.”
Liar. “Eh, I need to wash all this and I don’t trust you idiots to not fuck all my nice stuff up.”
Flynn laughed, throwing his head back. “You make us sound like beasts!”
“Excuse you, I was here when your sheets were stained pink after a sock made its way into the machine, and when half of Ruhn’s clothes got bleach stains after one of you forgot to rinse out the drum,” you giggled.
Fuck, you wished you had fallen for Flynn instead. Or even Declan. They were easy to talk to, and wouldn’t make you feel like an idiot for thinking that something more than casual was going on. That was more your fault than anything, you supposed. You knew who Ruhn was when he approached you at the White Raven all those months ago. He never tried to hide who he was. You were the idiot who thought he might settle down.
“Fair enough,” Flynn laughed. “Hey, you be careful alright? Ruhn’d kill me if you got hurt after leaving here.”
You were already hurt, but Flynn didn’t know that. Didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you mother hen.”
Flynn flipped you off as you left, still laughing. The bitter part of you thought he was laughing at you, knowing how big of an idiot you were. The more rational part knew he was just having a nice time joking around with you. Whatever. You probably weren’t going to be seeing him around much either way. 
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Loud knocking on the door woke you up. When you glanced at your phone for the time, it was barely one in the morning. Several more hours until you would need to start the day, and way too late for anyone to be bothering you right. With a groan, you got out of bed, wrapped yourself up with a robe, and went to the door, fully prepared to chew out whoever was interrupting your beauty sleep. 
You yanked open the door. Ruhn stood on the other side. Whatever steam you had rising up inside you dissipated when you saw him. 
Pulling the robe closer around you, you asked, “What are you doing here?” More questions stayed locked in your mind—Why aren’t you home? Why aren’t you with that pretty faun? 
“Flynn said you stopped by to get some of your things,” Ruhn said. “Looked like you took more than a few. Just wanted to see if you were alright.”
You opened the door wider so he could see into your small apartment. You gestured to the couch, where your laundry basket sat, topped off with the clothes you took back from his place. “Was needing to do laundry,” you lied. “Wanted to make sure all my stuff got washed.”
He pouted—actually pouted. “I could’ve done that for you.”
“It’s no big deal—”
“Or you could’ve done it at my place. Throw in a couple of my things if you didn’t have enough for a load,” he continued. Ruhn took a step into your apartment. You took a step back. “I like having your stuff around.”
“It’ll all probably end up there again anyways,” you shrugged. You doubted it. Ruhn might have wanted to keep this casual, but you weren’t that sort of person. You craved intimacy, the closeness of a relationship. If Ruhn wouldn’t offer that, you didn’t see the point in sticking around. 
Ruhn’s violet eyes searched yours. You weren’t sure what he was looking for. It would probably be easier to walk into your mind than try to pick it up with context clues, but you also didn’t want him anywhere near your head. You didn’t want to hear any excuses he had. Anyways, Ruhn was good about staying out of your mind. He said he didn’t want to violate your trust. What a joke. “Why didn’t you talk to me tonight?”
“Huh?”
“Dec said he saw you, and Bryce said you two talked. I was there, too. I know we didn’t plan on doing anything tonight, but I would’ve liked for you to say something.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why are you really here, Ruhn? I know it’s not because I got my things or didn’t talk to you tonight.”
“Are we good?”
The scoff fell from your mouth before you could stop it. Seriously? Why did he even care? If this was casual, why did he care about your feelings? “You don’t have to pretend, Ruhn. I know you want to keep this casual.”
Ruhn blinked, slowly working his jaw. “What are you talking about?”
“If you want this to be casual, that’s fine. I mean, you wish you had told me that, but I can’t change the past. If you want, you know, company or whatever, that’s okay. But I’m not that sort of person. Let’s not let feelings get any more involved than they already are.”
Realization dawned in his eyes. It took him long enough. Ruhn was far from stupid. It didn’t make sense for it to take this long for it to all click. “You heard me and Dec.”
“And saw you with the pretty faun.”
Ruhn looked away. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “I didn’t realize you were there.”
“Does it matter that I was? I mean, if this is casual, you can flirt with anyone you want. You can fuck anyone you want.”
“Stop saying that,” he near-growled. You raised your brows. What right did he have to get upset? At you no less? Fuck, you needed to put an end to all of this. Tonight. Now. 
You couldn’t hide your own ire as you said, “Why? Only you get to call it casual? I get to sit around thinking that maybe you actually give a shit about me, that you want to stick around for the long term, but you get to sleep with half of the city. Do I have that right?”
“No.”
“No, I think I do,” you said. You reached out, started to push him toward the door. Ruhn snatched your hand and tugged you against him. “Ruhn, let me go.”
“No.”
“Let me go and get the fuck out of here.”
“No,” he insisted. It was hard to ignore the desperation in his voice, but you weren’t going to fall for any of his tricks. You fell for enough of him already. 
Tears pricked at your eyes. Godsdammit, you weren’t going to cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve to see you so vulnerable. Not anymore, at least. “I am not going to be the idiot in love with you,” you said, your voice thick, “not when you don’t give a shit about me.”
Ruhn’s eyes flashed. With what, you weren’t certain. “I fucking care about you!” he shouted. Oh, what you would’ve given to hear that just hours ago. Now, it meant nothing. 
“No. You either lied to Declan about this being casual, or you lied to me about wanting something with me. Either way, you lied. You do not lie to the people you care about.” You wrenched yourself away from Ruhn, grabbed the door, and pointed out to the hall. “Go. I won’t ask again.”
“I want to talk about this.”
You gestured into the hallway again. “I have nothing left to say. I’ve got neighbors, Ruhn, and you’re probably waking up the whole building.”
He said your name, so softly your resolve nearly crumbled. But you looked away, steeled yourself. You weren’t going to let yourself be treated like shit just for a fae who would never respect you. 
“Lose my number.”
Ruhn stepped toward you. He stopped right in front of you, brushed away a strand of hair that fell in your face. His eyes scanned over you, as if memorizing you. But you wouldn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Then he stepped through the threshold of the door, and you shut the door before he could say anything else, twisted the locks before he could try to open it.
You pressed your back against the door and sank down to the door. Face pressed against your knees, you began to cry, and you pretended you couldn’t hear Ruhn still standing on the other side. 
It was better off this way. 
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taeyungie · 1 year
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hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹
here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰
#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL#because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan#i lost all my feelings and thoughts#i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head#i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot#in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year#and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level#but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️#from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far#that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more#after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me#and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all#but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha#i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day#i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/#even from my comfort people and activities#that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal#so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically#it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha#anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️#soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now#but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️
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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:
With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.
I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.
My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.
And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.
If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.
If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.
If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.
Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#long post#this isn't a guilt trip of any sort (it doesn't even feel right calling it a vent tbh) I'm just being earnest in my point here#I'm tired of constantly pulling teeth (and this is an issue for both old and new mutuals rather than one over the other)#it just....doesn't feel good. there shouldn't be this much of a struggle for *any* of us#and are we all going to end up on the same level as what I have with Blair? No absolutely not and that's not what I'm asking for#the difference between them and you all is the lack of struggle and just...the earnestness to put it mildly#I'm honestly tired of people trying to give me shit for writing w/ them so much because??? why wouldn't I???#getting mad because I'm having a blast with someone who wants to write with me and actually does/tells me? that's nothing to be jealous of!#in fact you should strive for it yourself!! you could have it all too if you just crawled out of your own hole and thought for a second#I am incredibly fucking lucky and blessed to write with Blair; they've greatly influenced me both as a person and as a writer;#and every day I return that kindness and attention with more (hopefully) great content regardless of what or who we're writing#because they do the exact same thing for me every single day and that should be celebrated#stop wasting time trying to pit people against each other or feeling left out and actually step in yourself#I've said this before and I'll say it again: the main thing holding you back from interacting with me is you#so think about it and just...get over whatever is telling you that you can't and just do the fuckin thing. come have fun
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