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wenamedthedogkylo · 2 years

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At long last. After over a week of rewatching and cross-referencing, here’s the wholly unnecessary massive meta post where I red-string a bunch of shit together.

At the end of the absolute fever dream that was Ep 13, I spewed out some stream-of-conscious, barely-coherent meta thoughts that some people seemed to like a little. First, thank you, glad you saw any kind of value in my frantic ramblings. Second, as I was thinking over everything that had happened and kept remembering more and more details to link things together, I realized… I should probably double check some of what I was remembering. We’re now only 14 episodes into C3, but it’s been long enough since I’d seen some of those earlier eps that I was definitely questioning if I was remembering things correctly.

So here I am—now armed with a whole Google doc of notes, quotes, etc.—to try and make those original thoughts a little more coherent and sensible. Again, this is less of a “theory”-theory, and more just me going

So let’s dive in, shall we? Spoilers ahead for pretty much all of C3 so far, so beware of that if you’re not caught up.

First, the brief glossary of shorthand I’m using, just in case you get confused.

Next, what’s the “not really a theory”-theory? That everything from Dugger to the Fucked Up Shade Creepers to the brumestone is connected to Armand Treshi.

But how and why? They never found out where the brumestone went, or how Dugger got the way he did, or what was up with the FUSCs. That’s what you’re probably thinking, right? That those are still loose ends to be tied up? I would argue that they’re not nearly as loose as you might think.

The linchpin of this theory is that two-timing goopy bitch Emoth Kade. She came to The Ball literally on the arm of Armand Treshi, and Eshteross confirmed that her Mahaan house had ties to House Treshi. Now what’s a gal who turns into a pale, black-eyed, goop-sweating, wall-crawling, acid spitting monster that can talk to FUSCs, doing hanging out with Armand Treshi? Or better yet, flip that question: why’s Armand connected to someone like that?

Well, because he basically made her like that, of course.

1. THE GOOP PATROL

Let’s talk about Dugger for a second. Remember that nasty little goop man? The pale dwarf with the jet black eyes who literally sweated out that gross clear-ish sticky stuff? Who turned all wormy to crawl through the tunnels in the spires? Who literally birthed a FUSC out of his back in a moment that still makes me gag to remember it?

I think a lot of us thought of him immediately when Matt described how Emoth looked at the end of Ep 13. And then it was confirmed in Ep 14: Emoth and Dugger were the same kind of fucked up. There were some differences, of course. Emoth could clearly control when she looked like a fungus demon, while Dugger couldn’t or maybe chose not to. When cornered, Dugger literally spat an AoE cone of that goop stuff that dealt Poison damage; Emoth spat out a straight line of goop that also did Poison. But they’re definitely the same kind of squishy goop person. Hell, Emoth even went and slimy-ed her way into a baseboard hole in the wall, like. Need I say more?

Well, I’m gonna. Because Emoth Kade and Dugger started out as utterly different people. Emoth belongs to a frickin’ Mahaan house ffs. It might be a lower-tier one, but it’s still a Mahaan house, and one that has ties to House Treshi. Dugger? A nobody. A former carpenter who shut down his business and ran with the Hubatt Corsairs for a while. They come from totally different worlds; how the hell did they end up with the same condition?

(I’m also, just this second as I’m writing this, realizing that both Emoth and Dugger had ties to the Corsairs. Dugger literally was a member for a time, while Cyrus said Emoth had worked with them in the past and that’s how she roped him into being her big himbo distraction. Shit, bro, I’m pretty sure Armand has more influence inside the Corsairs than maybe they realize… The Gang definitely needs to talk to Yash about Emoth and let him know that she was a goop person, too. They need to start checking their ranks for double agents.)

Yash Mangal with the Corsairs told the Gang that six months prior, Dugger vanished for several weeks. They thought maybe he was arrested and/or dead. But he turned up again, and he was already way different—“sweating more, skin growing paler”, becoming more aloof over time, and refusing to answer questions.

Well, what if he was arrested by the Wardens? What if that’s how Armand got ahold of him? I’m already pretty certain that Armand and/or Vali Dertrana had a hand in breaking Cyrus out of prison. I did that other meta theory about how Armand staged the robbery of the Gold Guild’s caravan which Cyrus was blamed for, and if it wasn’t obvious before, I think e14 proved that Cyrus is really not sharp enough to break his way out of a prison solo. He had to have help, and he made it sound like he met the Corsairs after he was on the lam. So who helped him escape in the first place? Maybe even he doesn’t know, maybe he thought he got lucky. But I’m pretty sure at this point that he only got out of there because Armand wanted him out.

Which means it would be perfectly reasonable for Armand or Vali to be able to go into the Granite Hold prison and pluck out a recently-caught member of the Corsairs to turn into their newest henchperson. And even if Dugger hadn’t been arrested, we know Vali was getting “riff raff from the Steps”, poor people who “no one would miss”, and collecting them for Ira’s experiments. Who helps the poorest people of Jrusar? The Corsairs. Reasonable to think that Dugger was down in the Steps helping people out, and got bagged by Vali’s people while there.

“Well hold on now, why’re you bringing Vali and Ira into this?” Because, my darling dearest fellow Critter, how do you think Dugger and Emoth got turned into goop people?

2. EVERYONE HAIL TO THE NIGHTMARE KING

Think about what Fearne remembered from her nana’s stories. The Nightmare King was “a figure that bent and twisted nature for fun. [And] beings that exist within nature. Just didn’t care for them.” What else would you call Dugger if not “bent and twisted”? Same with Emoth. Same with the FUSCs. Imogen and Laudna tangled with normal shade creepers in Zhudanna’s house pre-stream, and Imogen said those ones “looked alive” and were “less, you know, explosive”. They are all absolutely bent and twisted versions of what they used to be.

Also, think about the way all of these beings have been described. A recurring theme pops up, particularly pale skin, creepy black eyes, and wide mouths with sharp teeth.

When the Gang finally gets a better look at Dugger in his house, they see “that weird, kind of glistening, similar oily film [that] you see on everything emerging from him, these blackened veins that curl up the side of his face… The eyes are almost completely black like the other shade creepers that you’ve seen in the previous encounter.”

At one point during that same fight, a FUSC attacked Imogen, and as it got close, she could see “... grayish fleshy arms… Its stretchy, toothed mouth with no nose features and the beady black eyes staring at [her].”

Emoth was first described as already being pale when she entered with Armand, but when Chetney got a look at her in Headmaster Alakritos’s room in the Chambers, she was described as: “Her eyes, black. … darkened veins in the side of her neck. … her arms are a little bit longer, and that sweat is dripping off in a thicker, mucus-y pattern.” The others of the Gang who fought her later saw her “latched to the ceiling, in her dark gray, silver dress, pale sweaty skin, … head turned down, black eyes and extended jaw just dripping liquid saliva from it, the sharp teeth exposed…”

Pale skin, black eyes, no nose, wide stretchy mouth with lots of teeth, unnaturally long limbs? Kinda fuckin’ sounds like Ira Wendagoth to me. And it makes sense that when the Nightmare King twists creatures into horrible versions of themselves, they would each end up sharing some of his features. And let’s not forget that Ira has shown us his prowess with transmutation magic—he turned FCG into a frickin’ turtle without batting a big dark creepy eye.

I think it’s also pretty clear that Ira’s experiments were responsible for the Spitting Mimic that was killing people at the DST. Even without going really meta, we know the Mimic started eating people right around the same time that the Treshi’s Stone Mason’s Guild did “repairs” in that alley. The Mimic shares both Dugger and Emoth’s predilection to spit some kind of nasty damage at enemies. Dugger spat a cone of Poison, the Mimic spat a glob of Acid, and Emoth spat a line of Poison.

But if you go into the Spitting Mimic’s original stat block in Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden, it explicitly states, “The variant presented here is a particularly large and voracious specimen—the result of Netherese experiments on ordinary mimics—that spits acid.” Even in regular D&D lore, normal Mimics aren’t like that; they can only be created. It makes perfect sense that within Exandria, the same would hold true, and Matt adapted it to be the result of Ira’s experiments under Armand’s employ. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that metal half-sphere thing that Imogen pulled out of the Mimic’s body was part of how Ira mutated it, as well as being what tied it to that particular location.

Lastly, it should be noted that Ira, Emoth, and the FUSCs all dealt Piercing + Necrotic damage with their claw attacks. That seems a little too coincidental to me. Dugger probably would have, too, if he hadn’t chosen to fight with actual weapons. Or perhaps his goop-person abilities were different enough from Emoth that he couldn’t form claws to fight with. Thankfully, we’ll never know.

“Okay, that makes some sense. But where’s the brumestone that Dugger was smuggling? That hasn’t turned up yet.” Oh, but it has, my friends. It definitely has.

3. I’M BLUE DA BA DEE DA BA DIE

Day one of C3, the Gang comes together to protect innocent people from murderous moving furniture. We all remember, it was iconic. But let’s rehash real quick, yeah? It was a nice evening, peaceful, everyone was minding their own business. Suddenly everyone heard (and Imogen felt) an “odd, low, bassy rumble”. Right then, Laudna saw a “dull blue flash” off the side of the street ahead. A “small arcane sphere” flashed inside a cart pulled by two sillgoats, who reared up and ran away. The cart detached, scattering boxes which broke open to dump utensils and furniture in the street. That furniture came to life, and thus our beloved party banded together for the first time to defeat it.

Ahh, good times. Things were simpler then.

Hop-skip-and-a-jump ahead to the fight against Ira under the Moon Tower. At the end of Ep 10 when the Gang walked in on him working, Ira held “a blue gem about the size of someone’s clenched fist” up and over his shoulder. At the beginning of Ep 11, Chetney noted that Ira had put the gem down on the table behind him, which was described as a “fist-sized piece of blue crystal that’s giving off a faint blue glow.” And when their conversation came to an end, Ira picked the gem up once more and threw it on the ground, where it exploded in “a wave of arcane energy”. For everyone in the Gang except Chetney, that “burst of bluish-purple arcane energy” was familiar. A moment later, the tables and chairs nearest the explosion came to life.

“Yeah yeah, we know, Ira was behind the moving furniture. What does that have to do with bru–”

Blue. Stones. That. Make. Things. Move.

I’m tellin’ ya, that’s brumestone, baby!

We first hear of brumestone in Matt’s description as Orym, Fearne, and Dorian were arriving in Jrusar by skyship. They watched as “two prominent, blue, rounded stones about 10 to 12 feet in diameter that are affixed to the front of the ship—referred to as brumestone, which has a natural arcane ability to remain aloft in spite of gravity and that maintains a skyship’s movement—begin to glow brighter.”

At PT, the Gang found that odd crumbly, gravel-like residue in the pilfered crates. FCG used their Identifeye on the dust, and saw that it was “a somewhat vibrant sky-blue color almost, like a light cerulean. It’s a dull piece of brumestone.” Matt further explained brumestone’s rarity; how it’s heavily controlled by the Alsfarin Union in Ank’Harel; that it’s only known sources are the ruins of floating cities from the Age of Arcanum; and that “they are the blue stones that are embedded in skyships to keep them aloft.”

Drawing from sources like the original Tal’Dorei Campaign Setting and Campaign 2, the CR wiki explains that brumestone itself is not magical, but is particularly receptive to magic that will make it levitate. By embedding it in skyships, the enchanted brumestone is therefore able to make that otherwise inanimate object float as well.

So we’ve got a glowing blue rock that can be enchanted to make inanimate objects (like skyships and cities) float. And we have a glowing blue rock that can be enchanted to make inanimate objects (like tables, rugs, brooms, etc) move on their own.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Armand hired Ira to help him sow chaos in Jrusar. To do this, Ira needed supplies. Among those supplies is a very rare and notoriously hard-to-get mineral that is, according to Yash Mangal, very valuable on the black market. It’s a very tightly controlled element, and the Corsair spokesman said that there are probably a lot of arcanists and engineers seeking it out.

But this is Armand Treshi of House Treshi we’re talking about. He’s absolutely got the money and connections to get his hands on some illegal brumestone. (Especially once he stages a robbery of his own guild and squirrels that money away from the official books; see above theory about Cyrus and the robbery.) All he needs is ready hands to do the smuggling. Another trade: Armand, through Vali, provides Ira with test subjects for his experiments, and Ira twists them into willing servants who will do their dirty work.

Dugger, either picked up from the Steps or arrested and plucked out of prison, is among the first of these subjects to get goopified. He sticks around the Corsairs for a bit, probably gaining Armand & Co. some intel, and then eventually leaves them to focus on smuggling the brumestone into Jrusar. (This, I believe, is what he meant when he told Danas, “Well, I suppose we need to adjust our supply lines.” He killed her immediately after that, so he wasn’t saying “we” to include her; he was referring to himself and someone else. And since the Corsairs were certain he hadn’t gone to the Ivory Syndicate, it makes perfect sense that that someone was Armand & Co.)

The brumestone is passed on to Ira, who in turn uses his various contraptions and magic to enchant the mineral in a different way. After all, levitation magic and animation magic really are not that different. They are both used to move objects, especially those that cannot move on their own. It stands to reason that if brumestone is receptive to one kind of movement magic, it would, with a little arcane prodding, be receptive to others. And with how Ira loves twisting things to be darker and scarier, it’s no surprise that when he makes furniture move, the first thing it tries to do is kill people.

4. MY MIDDLE NAME IS ‘SECOND-SUMMARY’

Now, any reasonable person might have come to these conclusions and just moved on with their life. Given my ADHD and the ensuing memory issues, I am physically incapable of doing that. So when I say I literally rewatched damn near every second of C3 so far to make sure I wasn’t making this shit up… I mean I rewatched damn near every second. I made a Google Doc to cite specific information and quotes when needed. If anyone wants to see it, I’ll be happy to share. At this point I’m just recording anything that seems interconnected and/or important.

So I promise you I’m not pulling this stuff out of my ass. At most, I’m drawing lines and filling in gaps with reasonable conclusions. And where I’ve landed is that Ira the Nightmare King made the FUSCs, Dugger, Lady Emoth, and the Spitting Mimic for Armand Treshi, as well as used the smuggled brumestone to make animated killer furniture.

Obviously, if I end up being wrong about anything, then oh well. The surprise will be all the more amazing, because after hours of doing my best tin foil-hatter impression, Matt still managed to dupe me. Which would be exciting as fuck. But if I’m right, that doesn’t really lessen the excitement for me. Because despite all this, I still haven’t got a fucking clue where this will end up leading. Tie all of this in with the Paragon’s Call shit and the werewolves (still convinced those are linked), and all I can surmise is that Armand Treshi has much grander and more ominous designs for Jrusar than we thought.

Because as I said in my original blathering post, it’s one thing to make a little furniture move and one wall that eats people. Like, that’s still wild as fuck, but in the scale of an entire city and the surrounding lands, that’s relatively small potatoes. At best, you make people feel a little unsafe and off balance, and use the upset to maneuver your way into more power.

But the connections to Armand just keep adding up. Now we’ve got Lady Emoth, his date to one of the biggest political events of the year, being a goop person and robbing Gryz Alakritos’s guest suite? On top of everything else?? What did he have that she wanted so badly? And what in the ever-loving fuck was that shit with Emoth saying “we have business for her tonight” and “she’ll help me” and someone called “mother”? Like, I kinda joked during the stream that this might mean there’s a Queen Shade Creeper, but… bro what if there is? Ira what the fuck did you do?

At this rate, I really wouldn’t be surprised if Imogen’s red storm dreams, the Lumas Twins’ deaths, and the shadow assassins that attacked them and Zephra were also somehow Armand’s doing. The description of how the shadow assassins just kinda vanished reminds me of Ira being all smoky and hard for Laudna to hit; is he somehow responsible for those beings as well? WHERE DO ALL THESE THREADS LEAD?

MATTHEW WHAT HORRIBLE CHAOS HAVE YOU COOKED UP FOR US, I CAN’T STAND THE WAITING ANYMORE

#Critical Role #campaign 3 #critical role meta #critical role theory #c3 meta #c3 theory #Bree's stuff #about me #about Bree

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areyougonnabe · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

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janiedean · 3 years

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I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

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umblebumble · 3 years

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Dragon Age: Inquisition Daemons

So here’s another group daemon selection. I make my choices based off of a mix of analysis (The Daemon Forum is my favourite spot, link) and general vibe as well as plot/thematic things. For this, a lot of inspiration has come from fanfiction I’ve read where the daemon choice just makes sense. There will be minor spoilers for these characters personal plot arcs. Please let me know what you think, and share your own headcannons!

*As a note I tend to pick more mammals than anything else and I am working on widening my selections, but I still run very mammal-centric.

Solas - Common Raven. Raven’s are very clever birds and are great problem solvers and strategists. They go after what they want, and while they can roam in groups, they can work on their own as well. They are also mischievous and cocky; they will pull the tail feathers of larger birds to distract them from food or just for fun. This clever, cocky, proud bird is a very good match for our not-so-humble apostate. Thematically, ravens can be seen as death omens since they often eat carrion. However, they are also called ‘wolf birds’ because they have been known to have working relationships with wolves for hunting. Therefore a raven on the shoulder of a wolf would just make sense thematically to me.

Dorian - Scarlet Macaw. Parrots are far too clever for their own good and boredom is their worst enemy. Along with being bright and flashy to match the sparkly mage, their also very loud and opinionated and dramatic about everything just for the hell of it. I think a Macaw would be bold and striking on Dorian’s shoulder, and would have a razor tongue like the mage. However macaws can also be easily stressed and fall into self-destructive behaviour in bad environments. Thematically I think this parrot would have little bald patches hidden under its wings from where it would stress pluck. An interesting healing arc would be the bald patches growing back in as Dorian is accepted for who he is and doesn’t have to hide himself anymore.

Vivienne - Mute Swan. It can be said of water fowl that they appear graceful and serene on the surface but that’s because you can’t see the intricate paddling going on underneath. I feel that summarizes Vivienne well; she is serene and powerful and graceful at first glance, but behind the scenes there’s a lot of work and whispers and gathering of information. Swans are also very strong and assured. They could break bone with the strength of their wings, and they are confident and assured in their place and their power and status. Furthermore, they’re dedicated to their goals and will put in the work to reach them. However, I also like a swan for Vivienne because they mate for life. They are devoted to a single partner, and when that partner dies they mourn heavily. Vivienne appears unruffled and absolutely pristine to everyone around her and that’s because very few are allowed past her mask to see the softer heart inside that loves and then mourns her loved ones.

Iron Bull - Wild hog/Boar. Pigs are very underestimated animals - they appear big and slow, but they are vicious and incredibly intelligent. Pigs are seriously violent and I think this matches Bulls blood-thirsty battle-lust. But like Bull, his daemon would be underestimated; a war machine on the outside but the mind of a great spy on the inside. They’re social animals, and highly adaptable to a range of environments, and they can be very defensive and protective of themselves and those they care about. Overall I think a boar just suits every aspect of Bull visually and thematically.

Cassandra - Ram. *I initially said Mountain Goat but I had meant a Ram/Big Horned Sheep. Usually I headcanon Cassandra with a dog, a hound of some sort, but this was just very interesting and I quite liked it. When looking at a description of a Ram*, I just felt like it spoke for itself: “ Thick-skinned, competitive, and proud... Assertive and quick to put others in their place when they're crossed, definitely the confrontational sort. Highly defensive of their personal projects and themselves. Highly confident, not ones to doubt their abilities... Likely stubborn and highly straightforward, possibly blunt. Possibly planners, probably quite determined and persistent.” Cassandra is a hard-worker, determined and stubborn. She’s definitely the kind to attack a problem head-first, but she does have the capability to be quick, light on her feet and strategic about her approach. Rams are of the sheep family, and thus are very loyal and close to the people that belong in their circle.

Blackwall - Milksnake. Snakes are generally non-confrontational. They don’t pick fights but they will finish them, which is something I can see reflected in Blackwall’s more laid back attitude towards battle than the other warrior companions. Milksnakes are also very adaptable and will do well wherever they are. They’re a mix of solitary and social, they like being around others but also need their own space. They’re also rather internal and have a lot going on inside they don’t let show, not the kind to wear their heart on their sleeve. Mainly I enjoy the thematic meaning of a milksnake. Milksnakes are adapted to mimic a poisonous snake. Their colour pattern is close to that of a much more dangerous snake, and as such they often trick predators into thinking they are something they’re not. I like this thematically for the not-Warden who is pretending to be something much more fearsome than he is.

Sera - Rat. The common rat is an incredibly adaptable, resourceful, hardy creature. They will find a way in whatever circumstances and use whatever they have to their advantage. They are highly social beings and are made to work in groups, in teams and with others - a network much like the Red Jennies or little people. They’re bold, assertive, and even a little aggressive at times. A rat is seen as vermin and unwanted, but they’re everywhere and are clever and have their little hands in everything. Also, rats are thought of to be tricksters in mythos - the Chinese zodiac being an example of a rat tricking its way to the top. Sera uses her tricky playfulness mainly to pull pranks and cause mayhem, but she also uses it to stick up for others and assert her place in the world.

Varric - Vampire bat. Now I like the headcanon that dwarves don’t have daemons due to Fade-connection stuff and instead have weapons/armour like Armored Bears, but for the sake of argument I wanted to find what his daemon could be. A vampire bat is an unusual animal, and I think it, like Varric, would be the kind of person you don’t easily forget encountering. They are very sensitive, aware animals and are very in-tune with their surroundings and whats going on. They’re very social animals and thrive in groups. They have great communication skills and form close bonds with those they’re close to. Varric would do anything for the people he is closest to, and his natural environment is surrounded by people spinning tales and connecting with others. I think it’s an unusual daemon choice but I also like the idea that its a fun parallel to a surface dwarf - an underground animal, i.e. a rat, but in the sky with wings.

Cole - Unsettled. I think that if Cole did have a daemon, it would be unsettled. He is a spirit and he is in constant state of flux, despite having a central purpose of compassion. And even if he becomes more human, he is very reminiscent of a child learning the world and as such I do not think he would be settled until he becomes more settled in himself. (I do have further headcanon ideas about this spirit-daemon stuff but that may be another post, or a later addition to this one. Let me know if you’re interested)

Leliana - Mongoose. Leliana was harder for me because I don’t know her as well. I didn’t play Origins, but from what I know she was a much younger, more playful, less burdened and jaded person back then. I think this suits a mongoose very well. They can be very inquisitive and open and playful in their youth, unfearful of the wide world and ready to investigate anything to learn more. But as an adult they are more cautious and guarded. Mongoose are incredible predators and are very adaptive, able to take on even snakes that others don’t dare attack. They are more solitary and secretive, and I think an elusive, mysterious mongoose would be a wonderful hint at the fierce power hidden behind the cooler facade of her everyday persona. Brutal, subtle, and unexpected, a mongoose fits the spymaster well as far as I know her.

Cullen - Border Collie. I always knew Cullen would have a dog daemon, it was just a matter of which. He’s loyal and extremely hardworking, and so I decided on herding dogs. I chose Border Collie specifically because of their intelligence, independence and ability to think strategically. This is the kind of dog that will happily take orders and follow command, but will also work on its own to get a job done. Of herding dogs, Border Collies also have the ability to be a bit more ruthless, I feel. They aren’t timid dogs and if left to their own devices could become destructive and rough due to boredom and lack of stimulation. Also, they are predisposed to listen and obey and thus could fall prey to poor leadership (as seen in Kirkwall). Any dog I think could fit for our loyal, hardworking Commander, but I think Border Collie is a good fit. A bit of a farm-boy turned soldier, follower turned commander aesthetic fits thematically with his overall arc.

Josephine - Zebra Longwing. This kind of butterfly is beautiful and poisonous, a perfect combination for our ambassador. Butterfly’s are social creatures and do well around others. Furthermore this kind of butterfly works in groups to achieve its goal, suggesting a calm, diplomatic mind that is good at working with others towards a goal. Furthermore, butterflies are very sensitive and aware creatures; they pay attention to their surroundings and are very intuitive about the environment and others. Lastly, with a slightly toxic nature, these insects warn off predators with their flashy pattern that advertise them as dangerous. I like this because I think Josephine’s daemon would be a great hint at how not-helpless she is, a bit of a giveaway to her power and abilities. Plus I think a pretty butterfly perched like a beautiful broach suits her aesthetic.

#dai #dragon age inquisition #daemons #daemon headcanons #wow that was long #daemon au

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thedinanshiral · 3 years

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My personal DA4 wishlist + thoughts

I’ve been teasing this post for a couple of weeks over at Twitter, i’m the worst! But anyway, since game journalism has decided to confirm, once again, that the next Dragon Age game will be set in Tevinter like that’s breaking news, now’s as good a time as ever to write all this down.

Locations: Tevinter, clearly. It’s been pretty much a given since the end of Trespasser in 2015, with that scene where the Inquisitor stabs a map on a table directly on Tevinter as they promise to go after Solas to stop him. But also concept art and several stories from Tevinter Nights heavily imply Antiva, Nevarra, the Anderfells, and maybe Rivain. For those of you who don’t know your Thedosian Geography 101, that’s basically Northern Thedas. And it makes sense, since so far for three games straight we’ve been first stuck in Ferelden, then the coast of the Free Marches, and later the rest of Southern Thedas. We’ve never been North, only heard of it. So in DA4 i’m sure we will finally be able to visit.

Characters: If we’re going to Tevinter, we must meet Dorian again, maybe meet Maevaris Tilani as well (previously only seen in comics), judging from the latest comics series, i’m hoping for Fenris too. And going by the latest teaser trailer, we might see Varric again. As for characters that so far we have no news of, i’d like to see Cole, the Iron Bull, and if by any chance BioWare feels like blessing us with a Hawke/Fenris reunion i might just die happy. I’d also very much like to see the Inquisitor, but more on that later.

Companions: considering concept art and the latest teaser trailer, plus Tevinter Nights stories and new characters, we have an interesting repertoire of new potential companions. A Tevinter mage, an ancient elf (like a temple guardian) or a dalish elf (like Strife), a Nevarran mortalitasi or spirit, Antivan Crows, Lords of Fortune (new faction, kind of like treasure hunters), Qunari lady, maybe an alchemist or shapeshifter, Grey Wardens (possibly a dwarf), a liberated or escaped slave, a Siccari (Tevinter spies/assassins)..even past agents of the Inquisition could return.

Plot: We know Solas wants to take down the Veil. We know there’s two archdemons left, and Grey Wardens are regaining some spotlight in concept art lately. We might have to fight on multiple fronts simultaneously and be strategic about it. Solas might even unleash a double Blight just to keep us distracted while he focus on his own goal, who knows. But many other things are happenig in the margins and all over the place. The Qunari Antaam is having a crisis with some of its members supposedly going rogue, the order they’re so proud of is breaking up, and the whole of Northern Thedas is facing an imminent threat of invasion. Tevinter is still dealing with remnants of the Venatori and might soon be dealing with a slaves rebellion and/or a political and social reform (Magisters Dorian and Maeveris have been working wirh the Lucerni, a group aiming to restore and redeem Tevinter). The Antivan Crows -the de facto rulers of Antiva - may be dealing with a succession crisis, as their First Talon, a powerful feared and respected but old lady, might not be around for much longer and seems her chosen heir has died before his time. Meanwhile in the Anderfells nobody’s heard anything from the Grey Wardens’ HQ at Weisshaupt since the end of Inquisition, and as told in the novel Last Flight, the sudden reappearance of griffons may have had something to do with that radio silence. So you see, get ready for another +100 hours long game because BW has plenty of stuff to keep us busy with. But in short, DA4 seems will be about primarily searching, finding, and dealing with Solas. Regardless of what you decided at the Exalted Council in Trespasser, the Inquisition or what’s left of it is most likely the group orchestrating that mission. As it was so clearly stated then, they need new people Solas doesn’t know so he can’t foresee their actions, so it’s possible the DA4 protagonist is a new agent or a third party hired to do what the Inner circle can’t due to their familiarity with Solas in the past. But at the same time -and this is assuming we get to find Solas in this game - i definitely think the Inquisitor could easily show up again. No, losing an arm doens’t mean they’ve retired forever, prosthetics do exist in Thedas, a world where you can combine dwarven craftmanship with enchantments, seriously, i don’t ever want to hear “but they lost an arm” ever again as an excuse to write them out. And no, marrying Cullen or joining the Red Jennys is no impediment to join the “Stop Solas” Squad; the end of Trespasser means something, mainly that this is personal. Be it they loved them as lovers, as friends or ended up hating his guts for using and betraying them, the Inquisitor’s relationship with Solas makes this very personal, and so having any other character do that face off would cheapen all of it, all that bittersweet angsty development and expectations of either revenge or closure. That moment should happen between those two. It adds a ton of motivation due to their past historyas well, something a new protagonist would lack entirely. My personal best hope is for a sort of dual protagonist thing, say we play new protagonist for most of the game but a selected missions or scenes where we play as the Inquisitor once again and take over for key and heart-wrenching dialogue options. My second best hope is for the Inquisitor to show up as playable for the moment we catch up with Solas. My third and final best hope is for the inquisitor to be a sort of advisor but more like new protagonist’s boss/employer to whom they report back to and get new missions from. The Inquisitor can be stuck in meetings for the most part of it, i just want to know they’re there, behind a door, super busy but there. A cameo like Hawke’s in Inquisition is the bare miminum i can take, anyhting less than that like a mention in a sidequest description or a footnote in a codex entry would be a total injustice.

Romances: I’m open for pretty much anything, as any good BW fan would be. But i’d like romances to feel more alive in the sense that they don’t abruptly get stuck once you exhaust all related quests and dialogue options. As much as my Adaar liked that spank from the Iron Bull, that it was the only thing they could share after their romance was locked was a bit..meh. I liked Dorian’s tho, because his gave one the option to talk a bit, go for a walk, gossip, and sure, it all happened off-screen, and there were limited possibilities, but it was nice and made their relationship feel a bit more real, like they had more to it than kissing and stuff. It happens in most games, once you secure a romanceable companion suddenly you run out of things to do and share with them, and you get stuck with the same 3 lines of dialogue over and over again. There should be a way of solving that.

Side quests: i’m ok with fetch quests initially as it is a good way of forcing the player to go out and explore huge maps, but i’d also like the fetching to have some meaning other than checking things off a list. I want to explore many ruins, and -can’t believe i’m actually saying this- i want a Fade quest. Wait! I know what you’re thinking but don’t kill me just yet, here’s my idea: what if we could visit the Fade at certain locations to witness memories or meet with spirits and recollect information on Solas, his past, his present? Both to understand him better (keep in mind we’ll most likely get a new protagonist who isn’t familiar with him like we are as players) and try to locate him or predict his next move. It would be i think i great way of having visions of Arlathan in its golden age, maybe seeing some of the other Evanuris, how they interacted with each other and with the elves in their service, what really happened ...i just want that sweet, sweet lore, i need it.

Technical stuff: ok, graphics will be amazing for sure, but i also would really really like: better, more varied and longer hairstyles, PLEASE. Body sliders, it’s damn time we get them. Mounts that actually make a difference! Let staves blades make damage in combat, I’M BEGGING HERE. Combined classes, MAGICAL ROGUES! A homebase we can fix up/build on/redecorate as fully as possible (Skyhold was great and i love it to pieces but why were those walls NEVER repaired????) . More casual outfit options, idk i love to dress up my characters, maybe some transmog? A day/night cycle and please i would love to see Thedas’ second moon, also weather variations depending on the region. Yes, i’m ambitious.

Gameplay: i’d like more AI options for companions, but not quite like in DAO, that was too much and i rarely used it. I’m curious how they’ll do combat this time but i know for sure i don’t want the kind of combat that has me going almost frame by frame pausing at every second, it’s annoying for me. I want large areas like in DAI but with a bit more stuff to see and do although one of my favourite maps is the Hissing Wastes so i won’t complain if we get a literal desert but i’d also like it to have secrets hidden around, make me work to find and solve them, i love exploring, i jump and click on EVERYTHING like i’m still a kid playing Monkey Island. A companion in concept art seems to be holding what looks like some form of rifle, so i’m curious how they’d incorporate that in the game. I know Tevinter has the magics and dwarves have the skill, a firearm is totally within the possibilities in-game without breaking any lore; also super curious what sort of skill trees Crows or Lords of Fortune could have, are they rogues, or warriors, or both??

So far, that’s what i got in my head.Well, most of it anyways, i may have missed something but this post has to end somewhere lol

What’s in your head? Feel free to share! Have you been thinking on how you’ll create your next protagonist? All i can think of is magical rogues and that glowing bow was all the hype i needed.

#Dragon Age #Dragon Age 4 #Tevinter #da4 wishlist #DA4

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idjitlili · 3 years

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Hello there.

Kili x reader x obi-wan(slightly)

(Not my image)

Summary: Annoying the company with your 'sword' pretending it's not a metal sword, being unladylike. When in fact it wasn't a sword...it was a lightsaber.

Word count:6036

Warnings: Obi-wan , language, food stealing, dwarf nudity, put some clothes on!

Y/h/c= Your home country.

It was no secret, that you weren't from middle earth, with your strange speech, strange references, oh and the simple fact that you had fallen from the sky knocking Kili right out. Not just Kili but yourself before. You would've been quite embarrassing; if you were awake. Lucky you.

When you eventually you did awake, you were surrounded by below average height men , and man with a grey hair and wizards hat. One of the smaller men? Or dwarf you weren't sure if this was even real, it was strange to see such shorter men. His hair dark, shoulder length, not styled well compared to all the others, as for his beard..it was just stubble. The other men had long braided beards.

Yet there sat this man, very different to the others , barely with it, like he had hit his head, there you felt it , your head felt like your brain was going to pop out. You noticed , a smaller fellow jumping behind the small man to see, his curly blond her upon his head, was all to be seen.

The man that looked right out of a wrestling ring, glared at you , judging you, as did the one with ocean eyes and majestic hair. You hands behind you in the dry dirt, your heart beating heavily, shaking almost. "Uhm, w-what is h-" you didn't even get a sentence out before you were interrupted by the beardless short man.

"Well you fell out of the sky and fell on me, knocking me straight out." The man was not quite happy, "uhm, I guess I'm sorry? I didn't plan from falling from the sky, I'll try next time to see where I'm falling, but oh right, I never consented to be thrown from the sky, last time I was conscious I was- actually I do not remember." Blabbering on, even though really you should be terrified.

In the end , Gandalf and Thorin questioned you, as if they were Holt and Terry, Gandalf being Terry.

"Where do you come from, human?" The mans face frowning, the same as he had as you awoke, he spoke with sternly, as if you were a threat. Extremely intimidating. Now the others had left ,as you now sat in front of the two men.

"Uh, y/h/c." Their clothing didn't sit right with you, nor did you ever see anyone with such extreme hair styles. Maybe it was a cult? The old man , and the slightly younger man looked at each other , then back to you , clearly confused, well the younger one anyways.

"Tell me dear, have you ever heard of Erebor?"

Thus, for whatever reason you were apart of this dwarven company, as it were. No one was sure what in gods earth caused you to be here, well there's no 'God' in middle earth, not called God anyways.

Honestly, you didn't know what to do with yourself: no blankets, no spare clothes, no nothing except you , your thin graphic t-shirt, jeans and shoes. Thorin was definitely no help, oh yes and no money. Who would accept plastic notes as currency here? Nor were coins from where you lived were made from gold.

Oh wait you did actually have something other than you and your clothes , you had tiny little sword, which was in fact just an letter opener, you must've been opening the post before you fell out of the sky.

Not only was it awkward between you and all the dwarves, you did not fit in. Oh yes, Gandalf explained to you that elves and wizards existed, basically explained everything. Thorin had decided this was the place they would rest for the night, so you didn't have to do any travelling... except from falling out of the sky.

You could only think, it must suck to shit squatting, oh yes you'd have to face shitting the forest soon enough... without toilet paper too. It is not even like you can be certain that no one is going to walk into the forest and find you shitting or even worse no pads bleeding out.

You were definitely not looking forward to that, since there was no confirmation that you'd be getting home anytime soon.

So, now as the day grew dark, you sat against a large rough pine tree, the cold from the ground rising up your body. Knees pulled right up to your chest, your arms tight around, as goose bumps covered you like paint covers a wall. Hair dropping down your face as you leaned forward head on top of your knees.Staring at your feet, and the ground.

You thought on what your family must think, maybe it was like the labyrinth and they had forgotten that you had even existed. Bloody hell, Jareth, you didn't even wish for this to happen.

Not breaking out of thought when three pairs of boots, and a pair of overly large hair feet, were stood in front of you. "Lass?" Even then, you didn't realise, only noticing their presence when a hand was placed onto your shoulder.

Only then did you realise, looking up to see the the beardless man that you knocked out, somehow, another man with a hat , the other below average height man that looked like lion cross Seth rogen , and the jumping small fellow. "O-oh hi?" Strange that's the only way you could put it, the two brunettes grinning largely down at you.

"Excuse their bad manners, my lady. That is Kili, my brother , Bofur, and this little fellow is Bilbo Baggins... Oh right, and I am Fili at your service." Each of them doing a little bow, Bilbo's face redden a little , being called little. What did he expect, 'Oh yes, this giant fellow with the fat ass is Bilbo.' Them staring at you waiting for you to introduce yourself.

"Uh, I'm y/n." Standing up , daring to do a small curtsey, with a small blush, surprised really that anyone had even approached you.

"Beautiful name, perfect, I guess I'm falling for you already, miss y/n , you know since you knocked me out."

You almost blushed at the m-Kili's words, now blushing in embarrassment. "I didn't me-" "he's only messin' with yer, lass, don't yer worry," The hatted dwarf know as Bofur had smiled at you, only to get a jab in the side by kili, only for him to return it twice as hard.

"I'm sorry, miss y/n? I'm just wondering about your clothing-" Bilbo had began to questions your clothing choice, only to be interrupted, bad manners? Definitely. "Yes, those pants are very lovely, can you do a spin-" "OI," A big muscly man, the one that had glared at you earlier had smacked the beardless dwarf on the back of his head, letting out a Yelp of pain.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted was, are you not cold? You are barely dressed!" You had choked out a snort, at the hobbit , who had glared at Kili, he really did not like dwarves interrupting, well anyone, he's not racist.

"I'm not dressed? You've got no socks on! My mum would have scolded me, even if I just got out of the bath. 'Y/n, where's your socks! You are going to get ill! Y/n, I don't care if you have just sat down, go get your bloody socks on.' " Starring back at you feet, now stretched across the mud, it was incredibly awkward, well until they had started laughing.

"That's just like our Amad, right, fee?" Kili had called to his brother, before sitting down on the mud near you. "Oh yes, remember when Amad told you not eat all that cake-" Looking over to Kili who's face flushed red, interrupting his brother.

"Don't you dare." Bofur , Fili and Bilbo sat down, you sat in a circle, Fili trying to hold back from laughing. "Well ye gotta tell us now,Fili." Bofurs hand supported his head eager for Fili to continue. Bilbo the same, he loved stories. Kili's pleading eyes, were no match for his brother.

"Alright, so he ate all the cake, this stuff was heavily creamed, sweets covered it, it could feed 12 dwarves, that's saying a lot. Our Amad strictly told us, mostly Kili, not to eat it."

Fili's moustache braids jiggled as he talked, very distracting, letting out a small chuckle while talking a breath. "Anyways, Amad woke up in the morning, she was not happy at all, she had yelled so loud, that me, Kili, and Thorin were awoken from upstairs. All three of us rushed down the stairs, to see the table with no cake, just the plate. Amad stood there with her face redder than a smacked bosom, hands on her hips."

Kili face now in his hands, Fili grinning larger and larger by the second. " She had looked all three of us done, before calling Kili towards him, and it was dreadfully obviously his hair had cake crumps throughout it, he got scolded so bad."

"Is that it ," Bilbo was disappointed with the outcome, he had thought it would've been more suspenseful. "No master Baggins, Thorin later took us for training with Dwalin as well as many other viewers. Basically what happened was Dwalin threw him over his head and he landed on the floor, when he finally tried to stand up he let loose the loudest wet fart. Then, he stood up and the back of his pants were covered, and out the ends of his trousers... he had to walk home like that."

Bursts of laughter had erupted through the circle, Kili just looked horrified with his brother, placing your hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to you, with a sad smile.

"Don't feel bad, someone I knew yawned up to the sky and a bird shat in her mouth, to make matters worse she was afraid to tell anyone so she spat it out, and stood there with bird shit taste."

Looking at you wide eye, "T-they did what?"

"A bird shat in their mouth."

"Such crude language, yet suddenly I feel much better." Kili smiling up to you, the other three still laughing about Kili's shitty pants.

A friendship between you and the dwarf ,you knocked out, began. Over the months you had gotten more comfortable with the company.

Soon enough you were all captured by trolls, but you were sleeping so, you woke up and everyone was packing to leave. You were very confused indeed, Thorin had announced that you all were leaving for a troll cave.

Gandalf had merged after Thorin with two swords , calling you and Bilbo over. Wow, free stuff.

What Gandalf had not expected was your behaviour later on at Rivendell... Bathing and changing at Rivendell, eating some rabbit food, it was soon time for second dinner and after that bed.

Roaming the grounds of Rivendell the next month, you had bumped into Bilbo. That's when it started, you had already been messing with your sword. When Bilbo had approached you, seeing your cheeky grin he didn't know whether to run.

"M-morning ,miss y/n?" Speaking uncertain of himself, partly nervous, you had been pretty unpredictable, you know falling out the sky?

"Morning ,Bilbo! How are you feeling?" Swinging your sword in like it was baton or baseball bat, almost dropping flat on your face.

"I'm fine , thank you. Uh..." The sword now between your legs, swinging it around. "Bilbo look, it's my cock." Bilbos face now red, your crude language tended to fluster the poor hobbit, sorry the rich hobbit.

"Miss y/n, I do not think that's quite appropriate.." You head snapping towards the hobbit, your face dropped, instantly Bilbos mouth is gapped. "Oh- I didn't mean any offence." Taking a step forward, Bilbo had stepped back , another and another.

Bilbo had ended up sprinting , you chasing him, well until an elf had offered you pastry's. Continuing your walk around the grounds, munching on your pastry, distracted by your breakfast you didn't notice the dwarf in front of you until the last second.

"Where's your trousers?!" You had made eye contact with something other than his eyes, it was painfully obvious. Meeting his actual eyes, the smirk on his face, concluded that he had seen you check him out, flushed pink cheeks.

"Fili took my clothes."

"Why would he want to see you running around naked,-cover up gosh!" Your voice getting higher by the second.

"Well, my lady with what?" You had thrown your pastry at the dwarf, now quite put off; even though his size was quite large. Instead covering himself he began to eat the remaining amount of the pastry.

You had scoffed, walking around the dwarf, away from his naked body.

What did catch you off guard again was a man popping out from a pillar , his longish hair blond, his eyes ocean blue, his beard trimmed, his shirt beige , with a brown leather belt around his waist. You didn't know how to describe it, you jumped when he spoke.

"Hello there,"

How could be here? In a land of dwarves, elves and wizards? It was Obi-wan Kenobi, surely he should've been in the high ground? I mean, chopping some legs...so Anakin is leg a less, because his legs Aragorn.

"General Kenobi!" Kili had to turned around, to see you running at a strange man, who was General Kenobi, turning back round he had stomped off back to the company... to gossip.

"What are you doing here, Obi-wan?" His arms held behind his back as you two walked through Rivendell together, the truth was that you had never met before.

"I'm here because of you, y/n...the Council has sent me to help you. The universe is in great danger, again."

Then, you found out your real purpose was in middle earth; to save the line of Durin, With Obi-wan Kenobi as your master you as the pad awan. However, of course you did not have the force, he was just going to teach you how not to be damsel in distress.

You didn't know how this would bring you so close to the Jedi knight..

Obi-wan, had hid until half a day from Rivendell, when you had gestured him to come out, Kili had let out the most over dramatic gasp possible. "I told you he was real!"

That definitely caught the attention of the whole company, stopping, turning , drawing there weapons, Fili pulling you out the way.

"Why are you following us?" Thorins voice boomed over the winds, you couldn't imagine how your eardrums would certainly burst if he had a microphone. Getting of the grips of the dwarves again, standing between Obi-wan and the axes of the company.

Little Bilbo just watched the slope of the mountain with amusement. "What are you doing, y/n?!"

"You stubborn dwarves, if I was walking with him with no fuse, you'd think that he was with me, he's here to help me." Kili had scoffed, nor did any of other dwarves look convinced, Obi-wans hands on his hips, puffing his chest, revealing his lightsaber.

"I've had enough, I don't care what you say Thorin, he is my protection, he's not taking any of the reward, now let's go, he is not the enemy." Maybe you told a small lie, it would not go down well if Thorin knew Obi-wan was there to protect him and his nephews.

"At the front, both of you, now." And you were walking again, you and Obi-wan at the front.

Though, all together you were from three different universes, you from one which starwars was just a set of films, and series. It felt weird. Knowing he died, old, and he didn't look himself.

"Wait, so, Qui-Gon basically died of STDs, because he so many that it slowed him down? I thought it was a rule not have attachments; but he could sleep around?" I mean, if that's the case... you are very handsome, I'm not the best looking, nor have I ever.."

Your face felt hot, that was more than light flirting, really you had only known him for 27 hours, your crush on him though, that developed from watching him on screen.

Now concentrating on where you were going, surprised when Obi-wan had let out a laugh.

"My lady, you must be mistaken, you are absolutely beautiful." Your face flushed pink, wrapping your arm around Obi-wan's arm, his eyes watched you as you did, not hilding hands or anything just his arm. There are times in life when words are not needed.

Soon enough it was time to stop, when the company approached a large path on the mountain, so big that the company could sit in a circle if they desired. Along the way many of the dwarves had collected sticks and branches for a fire.

Right against the mountain wall you had set up your bed roll, and dropped your cloak from the elves on it as a blanket, you were sure to remember to share with Obi-wan later. Obi one had copied you, dropping his cloak neck to yours, as you both stood next to each other, the sky now dark, the smell of dinner lingered in the air.

The glow of the fire lit up Obi-wan's face, his beard now more orange, his blue eyes focused on you.

"Hey, um, Obi-wan...can I hold your lightsaber?" His hands on his beige tunic, eyeing you down, one of a second, before handing you the weapon.

The lightsaber, heavy in your hands, yet still you were swinging it like you were playing tennis on the wii. "Um, Obi, can I please..?" Turning to face the Jedi with pleading eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders casually nodding.

With that you had pressed the button, there stood the blue blade in front of your very eyes. Bilbo had noticed almost immediately spitting out his food, who in their right mind would give her a weapon?

Noticing Bilbos sudden uncomfortableness, grinning at him, as the saber made its way between your legs. "Hey Bilbo,Check out how big my dick is!" Bilbo had put his bowl of food down, and his behind Thorin, brooding.

"Uhm, lass? What is that?" Bofur wearily, spoke, eyeing the saber not blinking,like many other dwarves. Balin flinching as you waved it between your legs.

"It's a lightsaber, the weapon of Jedi's. Hey, Kili, sorta looks like your dick ,if it was a hundred times smaller. " Not that you were looking at Kili, his face flushed as he chocked out his stew, Thorins eyes burning into the back of the head, he would speak to him later.

"Oi, when did you get a look at Kees , lad?" Fili wan most amused at the situation, Kili knocking him in the ribs.

"Well , what happened was I got a pastry at Rivendell, and Kili almost whacks into me. Yeah, and he was naked, so, not that I like to give away food, I throw the pastry at him and Obi-wan appears and saves me. End of story."

Now swinging the lightsaber like it was a golf club, you wondered if Obi-wan had to charge his lightsaber. Kili now standing up , walking over to you as the dwarves forget about the story, simply because it wasn't rare that they went around naked.

"Oi, Kili , throw that stick at me, so I can hit it."

Kili had planned on telling you a piece of his mind, how his dick was not small, but there you were not a care in the world, waiting for him to pick up the stick.

His eyes searched the stone floor when his eyes catch, a thick stick not a twig. Without a thought he threw it, your eyes waiting, standing like you were going to play baseball or rounders. Swinging your arm slicing through the stick, causing it to slam to the floor in two separate pieces.

"I'm sorry, but what in middle earth is a Jedi and why do they have that, what even is that!"

Obi-wan just stood by you chest puffed, huge smirk on his face, as Kili ranted slightly , fear embedded in his eyes as he stood back as you swung the weapon around more, it was not surprising that the company were also in slight shock.

"This man is a Jedi." Pointing at Obi-wan before turning fully towards him, ignoring the others questions. "Okay, now teach me, master..." A grin across your face, as Obi-wan took the saber from your hands, turning it off, before standing behind you.

Turning your back into place, your feet in the correct stance, his back against yours as ushered you take your sword from his hands. His hot breath briefly against your neck. Once you had done, his back peeled from yours, and he had done the same.

Throughout the next months, Obi-wan had continued to teach you how to defend yourself

, Kili always disagreeing on Obi-wand methods, suggesting he would be better to teacher you.

That was until you were all captured at Mirkwood. Of course, Obi-wan tried to use the force on the elves, however , due to being immortal they weren't easily controlled. Somehow he did it still, only allowing you and him to escape, due to being human. What you didn't understand though, why was Obi-wan such a flirt.

The blond elf, the one that looked straight off like a princess, had stared at you and Obi-wan with his eyebrows raised. His light foot steps, couldn't be heard as he glided towards you both, standing close to Obi-wan, as the dwarves were search. Legolas excluding you two from it, using the side of your body to hide the lightsaber at Obi-wan's belt.

"Why are two humans travelling with dwarves?" Was this elf wearing tights? David Bowie could get away with it because that ass and overall god looks, but the colour scheme on this blond elf was not it. Wondering if his dick could even breathe, maybe it shrank.

Looking at Obi-wan, who was smouldering at the elf, his lips slightly pushed out his blue eyes sharp, his long hair flowing. But..there was no wind. His hand doing a weird gesture like waving.

"We are not, we are trying to get lake town, as I have finally decided to meet my darlings parents. You will let us go." You were surprised when Obi-wan had wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close to him. Your eyes wide, you really didn't think you were going to get out of this, how many times had you all been captured? Too many times.

"Go, follow the path, goodbye." Obi-wan had quickly let go of your waist , talking your hand, pulling you away, false smiles on your faces as you left. Trying not raise suspicion, Kili had watched the whole thing, scoffing in disgust, watching you and Obi-wan walking away.

You wanted to help the dwarves you really did;but Obi-wan had assured you they didn't need your help. You both waiting in the safe forest outside of the woodland realm, waiting for the dwarves.

Not only had Obi-wan had taught you basic defensive skills, but you had became extremely close. Here you were, stuck in a forest, no bedrolls no nothing, due to Azog. Nights were cold, so cold, as Obi-wan's duty to protect you, you both decided for your survivals there was only one way.

The fire low, so that you would not be detected by Orcs, Obi-wan and you snuggling up together, his arms around your waist, knees tucked under yours. Body heat being the only thing from stopping you both freezing to death.

During this week, what disturbed you the most, was Obi-wan's french accent...Considering there was no earth in the star-wars universe. If that matter you weren't sure. He'd pop the accent out at random moments, going to bathe in a stream?

"Do you need a chaperone, mon amour?" No, he did not go in the water with you, he just stood guard, holding his arm out to walk you to the stream and even back. Though you did have to wait by the stream while he was bathing , with his lightsaber in your hand, just in case.

However,one day when you you were bathing Obi-wan had almost had a heart attack when you let a gasp, running out of the hair all across your face, running smack into him. Your bare body against his robes, soon as he made eye contact with you he knew it was nothing life threatening.

"When I said 'You don't have time to be timid, you must be bold and daring' this was not what I mean." Obi-wan's stuck to yours , reassuring your privacy, even though his back was against the mud , your whole body pressed against him. Again with the accent, Obi-wan's smile small, your hands against his chest, as laugh erupted from your mouth.

"What is, Ma Cherie?"

"Only reason I'm laying on you butt naked is because a fish brushed against my leg." Obi-wan's once sincere face replaced with a grin you snuffled your laughter against his neck. Your cold skin against his , as vibrations travelled through his body, a laugh from his lips travelling to your ears. A few minutes passed, with you just against Obi-wan as you laughed together.

"This would be very embarrassing ,if the company found us now."

"I'll close my eyes, and you can go get dressed,"

That was it with that, Obi wan would never disrespect your modesty, it is not like when Kili had shown off on purpose.

The next day, you had caught up with the company and an injured Kili. However, the french accent was not lost...

Kili's faced laced with sweat, as you and Obi-wan made your way to the compan, his eyes met yours. He felt relieved that you had came back, yet anger still bubbled down in inside.

"I thought ye had left us." Bofur popping up infront of you two, his eyebrow raise.

"No, figured from I heard about that king , it was not the best if he had got a hold of Y/n, it is my mission to protect y/n." Bofur , along with Gloin, Dori and few others nodded in agreement.

Your eyes drifting from Obi-wan's face, back to Kili, his thigh seeping with blood,you had grabbed Obi-wan by the hand pulling him over with you towards Kili. Obi-wan meeting your eyes once again, confused with your actions. "Obi.. help him."

Letting go of your hand, Obi-wan had brought his hand over the wound, Kili tried to protest, only to be shut down by Fili. Kili felt tugging on his skin, the pain slowly disappearing, a few seconds late Obi-wan had remove his hand, stood up, made his way back to you. "W-what? H-how did you?"

This is what you and Obi-wan were sent here to do, save the line of Durin. After that, not even seconds Bard had arrived, the company was on their way again, no delays, except being caught by the master, which kind of annoyed

Obi-wan, getting to be called that without being a Jedi , disgraceful.

After that, it was one more boat ride away, and climbing more mountains. Within three hours , you feet began to blister, the knocks harsh, you wondered how Bilbo could do it, he was a happy chappy. Obi-wan next to you, had immediately picked up on you change. His eyes caught onto yours like a magnet, within seconds you were on his shoulders, hanging. Just like Anakin had carried him unconscious, he could've carried you anyway way but he decided on potato sack really?

"B-Ben!" The little shriek had erupted from your mouth in surprise, in reality it sounded like he had just made you orgasm. Your face flushed, as Obi-wan grip tightened around your thigh. "Yes, Ma Cherie?" Again with Obi-wan doing the french accent, letting out a groan.

"Never mind." For the next three hours you are carried on Obi-wan's shoulders, you couldn't imagine how his back feels. There's no negotiating with the negotiator. Your stomach ached from just being on his back. You did get to sleep for a while, which was great.

“Obi, I can walk now." Your face next the side of his face, softly speaking to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." With that you were back on the ground, walking with the rest of the company, though you didn't speak to many of the other dwarves much, you found yourself away from Obi-wan and in the company of Fili, who had left the company of his brother. Your conversation had started out normal, Fili telling you about the Elves, and Bilbo saving them.

"Are you courting the man?" Eyes widening at the dwarves words, it was no doubt that you had liked him watching him on screen, but no way he had made advances, had he? He could not, it's not the Jedi way. Why did he flirt with you all the time. As you two grew close, you felt you chest tightening, you could feel that way. Just months ago you had felt the same for Kili, but then Obi-wan had appeared.

"No, why do you ask?" Your face felt hot, unbearably hot, embarrassed that you had been clearly flirting back to Obi-wan.

"It's just that my brother... don't know if you have noticed he has been not himself, and well I think it's because of you and Obi-wan." Fili whispered to you, you could barely hear him, but when you did make out what he was saying, why would Kili not himself because you and Obi-wan, had you offended him some how?

"What do you mean? Why would it be our fault?" It was not appropriate but a chuckle still left his lips, Fili could not understand how you could be so blind.

"You and Obi-wan flirt publicly a lot..." Then it hit you, the reason Kili could barely look at you anymore, you had not really ever have someone like you let alone possibly two. Blush upon your cheeks, "Oh.."

"Now, you must understand, y/n , if you don't feel for him, you must put him down, do you love Obi-wan?" Turning you face back to look at Obi-wan, who had been watching his steps, as he talked to Bilbo, who seemed to be deep into conversation. When Obi-wan's blue eyes had finally caught yours, his lips had turned up in a smile, before you turned back to the blond haired dwarf.

Fili's moustache braids jigging, as you all walked, waiting for your response.

"Jedi's aren't allowed attachments; it would never work out."

“Do you love him?” Repeating the same question, how could you know if you loved him, why would it matter it would never work out, Fili clearly didn’t want his brother heartbroken because you couldn’t decide.

“I d-don’t know, Fee,”

“Do you love Kili?”

“Really, Fili, I don’t know.”

Fili, had suggested to speak to Kili later, what if you only loved Obi-wan platonically?

Once Thorin had stopped the company for the night, and when the sky was dark. Only the glow of the fire upon your faces, Fili had left his brother on a log, making eye contact with you, gesturing for you to swap with him. Sitting upon the rough log, thighs touching, Kili had turned slightly jumping when realising it was you, his brown eyes now looking to yours with the flame of the fire reflected into them. His face with no expression at all, he didn’t even say anything to you. A string of pain, flowed through your heart, you hadn’t realised how you hadn’t spoken to Kili in months, properly anyways.

You had wrapped your arms around Kili neck, your cold flesh against Kili’s neck, as you pulled him into a tight hug, slowly he had accepted it. Wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, his dark hair, tickling your neck.

“I’m sorry, Kili.” Pulling away, Kili brows scrunched together, his dark eyes searching your face, he thought he had done something wrong, and was going you space, also think mostly that you and Obi-wan were courting. However, Fili had informed him that you were not courting, he wished he could scold his older brother, for being nosy.

“W-why?” He had been jealous of your behaviour towards Obi-wan no doubt about that, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for his feelings, you could like anyone you wanted, you are beautiful, bodaciously so.

“Because I haven’t spoken to you for months, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s just...you promise not to repeat this to anyone, especially your uncle?” Kili knew it, you didn’t like him, but his uncle? Yuck, he couldn’t be mean to you though, you were nothing but nice to him. Instead he just nodded, with a small smile.

“Thank you..the real reason why Obi-wan and I were sent here, well is to keep the line of Durin alive, must have a big effect on all the universes otherwise, two people from separate universes would not have been sent. So, we’ve been keeping this secret, it’s been hard, that’s why I spend so much time with Obi-wan.”

Kili’s eyes never left yours, as you spoke, taking a deep breath before you continued on, you were scared for the safety of your friends, Thorin didn’t care what you were doing , because you and Obi-wan were quiet and kept to yourselves, he saw how effective in battle Obi-wan was and didn’t complain. He needed the man power, there was no doubt about that.

“If I am totally honest, I do love Ben, and if he was allowed to be with me, I wouldn’t be with him, it’s not the way of the Jedi. He is my best friend, that is a gentleman, I’m sorry, but his back must’ve killed carrying me like a sack of potatoes. Plus, when we were waiting for you... I was having a bath, he was on guard and fish brush against me, I went running, fell flat on him, that was definitely not a pretty sight for hi-“

“You what?” Kili was scared to know what you were getting and frankly disturbed that Obi-wan had seen you vulnerable. You had reached and gripped his, large dwarven hand, tightly, rough, yet so warm...

“ Doesn’t matter, he was very respectful. Anyways, what I was getting at Kili, is that.. I c-can’t live within you...I love you, not platonically either, I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. I wouldn’t if I was you.” Before you could blink , his soft lips upon your, your hands in you his hair pulling him close, his hands back around his waist.

You finally felt certain of something.

Bonus:

Kili was not the slightest happy when you accidentally cut a lock of his hair off with the saber.

“Hey, Ben, can I cut your hair too?”

“Fuck off, I’m the only Jedi left with good hair, you touch it you’ll become a baked potato.”

“Okay I’m sorry!”

“mon Cherie , I could never harm you, for I love you like a dog.”

“Oi, stop flirting.” Kili had interrupted, petting his burnt detached hair.

“He just called me a dog, that’s not flirting,”

#obi wan fluff #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit x reader #hobbit imagine #hobbit imagines #the hobbit imagines #Kili x reader #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x y/n #the hobbit kili #kili the dwarf #hobbit x you #hobbit x y/n #obi wan imagine #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #crossover

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nonbinarytoga · 4 years

Text

Songbird

Platonic Yandere Hawks x Nonbinary OC x Dabi

TW: limb amputation, shootings.

Summary: Born with a similar quirk to Hawks, Kagami Sora’s been under the radar while living oversees with little to no knowledge of the red-feathered Hero who was across the pond, but after going to Japan to become a teacher at U.A, along the way they run into Hawks and after that things get weird.

Kagami shivered as another rush of cold fall air filtered through their feathers, making them tingle. They couldn’t believe just how cold it was in Japan, seeing as back home in the US it was the middle of a sweltering summer.

They hadn’t packed very well, but it wasn’t like they had the time to get a bunch of things. UA had promised that they would provide clothing, housing, and other things that they needed, so they had packed very very light.

Just getting off of a seventeen hour flight made their legs feel like jelly, but not in the same way that they felt when they were in control. Flying in a giant metal tube felt incredibly unnatural and strange.

As they entered the airport, the first thing they noticed was how many people there were. Coming from the country side where their town had just little over 3,000 people, the sheer amount of people walking around in an enclosed space was enough to have their head spinning.

They quickly made their way through the airport, crimson wings bunching up close around their front with just enough space to look through.

Jeeze, had no one here seen a person with a Wing quirk or something? People kept staring, watching Kagami as they tried to navigate their way through the titan of an airport. Some people even had their phones out! Kagami’s stomach turned and their wings enclosed tighter around them, speeding up to get to where they needed to go.

Kagami had a rough estimate of where they were supposed to go to get to the front where Toshinori would be waiting for them, they just had to make it there. Easy! Right?

The only problem was that Kagami could barely read Japanese. Their knowledge of Kanji was nonexistent, and there was so much! Thankfully, most signs had English on them, pointing out bathrooms, help desks, but nowhere told them where the goddam exit was!

They sighed, pausing by a kiosk and leaning up against the wall to pull their phone out. It was a new one, paid by UA since their old phone would go nuts with payments, and UA was fickle about stuff like phones.

They had a text from Toshinori, as well as one from Nezu. They glared at the screen as they struggled to read, clumsily making out a congratulation message from the school’s principal and a simple text from Toshinori, in English thankfully, that read ‘I’m here’.

Kagami’s fingers hovered over the screen, about to text him back to beg him to come find where they were when someone approached. Kagami looked up, confused as a young woman stood in front of them, their phone out.

“Um,” Kagami said unintelligently, unfurling their wings a little to get a better look at the woman. She blinked when she saw their face, a flush taking over her cheeks.

“I’m sorry!” She gasped, “I mistook you for someone else!” She squeaked out before turning tail, literally she had a long lizard tail, and rushed off. Kagami stared off after her, head tilted to the side in utter confusion.

They shrugged it off and pushed off of the wall and started to text Toshinori back as they walked hopefully in the right direction.

After what felt like hours in the hot airport, Kagami found themselves at the front door. Their shoulders slouched in relief as they stepped through the sliding doors and into the cold air.

“Ah, Kagami!” Toshinori’s voice perked up from where he was leaning against a dark car, he waved to her with smile on his jagged face as Kagami rushed over to where he was.

“Hey,” they said, breathless, “sorry that I took so long.”

Toshinori was a lot different than Kagami remembered. Through the blurry Zoom calls you shared with him, he had looked a bit...Bigger. Yes, he was the post-number one hero, but you thought that he would have retained some of his, um, largeness.

He was thin now. With a gaunt face and shadowed eyes. He looked kind of scary, but Kagami could see that his piercing eyes were kind. They held no malice as Kagami approached.

From their childhood, Kagami couldn’t remember much, but they knew that Toshinori’s kind eyes were there with his comforting words and soothing touch.

“I take it you got lost, young Kagami?” Toshinori said as he popped the trunk, allowing Kagami to lug their stuff into it.

“Yeah,” Kagami laughed through a sigh, “that place is massive! I don’t know how you got through there all those times. It’s so busy!”

Toshinori nodded sagely, “it is,” he mused, “that’s what happens in a busy place like Tokyo, though. You’re not used to it, though?”

“Yeah,” Kagami replied as they both got into the car, “if you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of a country bumpkin,” they laughed, seeing Toshinori’s quite confusion. Even though he had lived in America for a few years during his Silver Age, there was slang he wasn’t familiar with.

“That means,” Toshinori pursed his lips together, “you’re not very used to the city?”

“Pretty much,” Kagami replied with a shrug, “I’m going from being surrounded by forests to a concrete jungle,” they said, looking out the window as Toshinori pulled away from the airports parking lot, “I just can’t believe how bright it is.”

Toshinori hummed, “yes. It’s very bright. Sometimes too much so. My coworker, Aizawa, lived here for a short period of time during his first years as a hero. He would talk my ear off every morning after patrols about how much he hated it here, but when I asked him to come to Musutafu with me he always came up with a reason as to stay.”

“Did he like it here?” Kagami asked, “like, enough to stay?”

“He liked the crime,” Toshinori replied, his tone somber, “when he moved here, crime went down 10% in his first month working.”

Kagami’s eyebrows shot up, “wait, seriously?!” They gasped, “that’s...Incredible!”

Toshinori smiled, “it is! He’s an incredible person, a little rough around the edges but it’s only because he cares.”

The conversation died down as Toshinori navigated the car through the busy streets of Tokyo. Kagami leant back a little in their seat, exhaling quietly. Toshinori was just as nice as they remembered, maybe a little quieter.

They found themselves quietly fiddling with one of their feathers, preening the plume as they shifted a little to wrap their wings around their chest so they could lean back without pain. They had to settle in after all, it was a long ride to U.A.

━━━━━━ ━━━━━━

Kagami perked up at the sight of the U.A campus, brushing back their dark hair to tuck behind their ear as they sat up in their seat. Toshinori sent them a smile, happy to see their glee as he pulled into the parking lot.

“Nezu will be meeting us in his main office,” he said once they were parked. They both got out, Kagami grabbing their one bag and following Toshinori like an excited puppy as he led them through the front gates.

UA was everything Kagami could dream of in a school. They had been homeschooled most of their life, living with parents who were worried that Kagami would be targeted because of their quirk. They graduated, though, after many years of trial and error and were able to find a perfect harmony between their need to nurture and their passion for teaching.

Toshinori led Kagami through the halls, Kagami’s wings fluttered with excitement. They weren’t the best at controlling their wings when their emotions became great. Toshinori didn’t look bothered by it, though, so Kagami let their wings twitch and twitter in excitement as they neared the principals office.

“Leave your bag out here,” Toshinori said, knocking on the door, “Hizashi’s gonna swing around and take it to your temporary housing with the other students.”

Kagami nodded and set their bag against the wall, following Toshinori into the office as the taller man vanished through the doorway. As they stepped inside, the smell of freshly steeped tea met their nose, they perked up at the smell and felt their wings flutter in delight.

Principal Nezu sat behind his desk, his chair dwarfing him as he looked up from whatever he was writing. When his eyes met Kagami’s, she felt a shiver go down their spine.

It was no secret that quirk users like Kagami, who had mutations in their DNA, could be drastically different from others similar to them. Kagami’s mouth watered at the sight of the small animal/man. They balled their hands into fists, their talon-like fingernails pressing into the scaly skin of their palm. It was all instinct, of course. Kagami would never harm another living thing, even though their brain screamed at them to attack, to grab the little rodent with their talons and whisk them away to feed to their chicks later-

“Kagami Sora?” Nezu’s voice was polite, soft, and maybe a with a touch of a posh English twang. Kagami shuddered, swallowing and blinked a few times until their vision stopped zooming in on Nezu’s throat.

“I’m sorry,” they said, smiling nervously, “just got a bit in my head for a second!” They joked. The corner of Nezu’s mouth quirked up, while Toshinori looked incredibly worried as he looked from Kagami to Nezu with a furrowed brow.

“It’s fine,” Nezu said pleasantly, “please, sit! We’ve got a lot to talk about.” He gestured to a tea pot that sat on a hot plate, as well as two cups that were full and pleasant smelling, “tea?”

“Please,” Kagami choked out. They sat down on the stool that had been provided, happily finding that it wasn't a normal chair with a backing and that their wings could sit folded behind their back without pressure from wood.

Nezu must have prepared it specifically for them. How nice!

Nezu pushed one of the small mugs towards Kagami, while Toshinori carefully took his. Kagami held the warm drink in their hands, cupping their fingers around the glossy ceramic. They didn’t drink, knowing that it would be too hot for them.

“Now that we’re settled,” Nezu started, looking down his snout at the file full of papers he had before him, “I understand that you’ve had your eye on UA for quite some time. Would you like to elaborate?”

Kagami sent a confused look Toshinori’s way, though he looked just as lost as Kagami was. They had already had a meeting before hand to talk about their work, what they would be doing, and other such important things. This wasn’t a job interview, right?

“No pressure!” Nezu sang, clapping his little furry hands together, “just an extra precaution. It also helps me to better understand you, and don’t worry! I do this with all of my new teachers!”

One look from Toshinori told Kagami that he had no idea what Nezu was on about.

Kagami released their mug, feeling their talons start to poke out from stress. They took a deep breath and relaxed.

“I,” they licked their lips, “I grew up in an environment where heroes weren’t seen as the good guys. In America, there’s such a huge idea that if you are a hero, you’re in it for the money or the fame. There aren’t enough people who are becoming heroes because they want to help the people, and it honestly made me hate heroes.”

Nezu hummed, arching an eyebrow. “You hated heroes, and yet you want to work with those same kinds of people?”

Kagami nodded, “I hated heroes, until I saw All Might.”

Toshinori sucked in a breath, his fingers tightening around his cup of tea.

“I saw him, a video of him actually. There had been a massive train crash, people were stuck inside and there was fire everywhere, but he was there,” they sucked in a tight breath, “he was rescuing people. He kept going back into the flames, getting all of those people who were stuck out. He saved over forty people’s lives that day and-” Kagami’s eyes watered a little but they held back their tears, “I could tell, he wasn’t doing it for popularity or fame. He was doing it because people needed a hero, and he was there to help them.”

Nezu nodded, “I recall that same accident,” he said, “I was but a little cub, but I agree that he was incredibly heroic in that moment.”

Kagami nodded back and took a sip from their tea, making a face at how hot it was as they continued, “after that day, I found that I had hope for heroes. I watched more and more of his fights, of his speeches, and I could see just how passionate he was about helping those who were in need. He wasn’t like anything I had ever seen before, and it got me thinking.

I wanted to be that. I wanted to be the light for those who were in trouble, I wanted to save lives because that’s what was best for the world.”

“But your accident,” Nezu mused, taking a long sip from his tea cup, “I saw it in your file.”

Kagami laughed bitterly, “it was a shame,” they said, “I had just enrolled in the top hero school in the states. There was an attack, charged by quirkiness civilians,” they took a deep breath in, tightening their fingers around their mug, their claws digging into the ceramic.

“They were part of a cult spurred by religion that caused them to lash out. They saw those with quirks as abominations and they thought that if they ‘cleansed’ us of our sins, we would become human again.”

Toshinori rested his hand on Kagami’s shoulder, “you don’t need to continue if it’s too painful,” he said quietly, sending Nezu a look.

Nezu hummed again and set down his tea cup. “I have the attack on file,” he said quietly, resting a paw on the paper, “your leg, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Kagami said quietly, “it hit a bundle of nerves. I-I had to have it amputated.”

“A shame,” Nezu mused, “what happened after that?”

“I was in rehabilitation for two months,” they said, “learning to walk again. By then, most of my class had either dropped out, transferred, or graduated and I was told that with my injury I had no hopes of becoming a hero. After that, I started looking into other options. If I couldn’t become a hero, I wanted other people to have the chance to. That’s when Toshinori contacted me,” they looked over at Toshinori who smiled, his eyes glimmering with sadness that was just barely covered by pride.

“He told me about UA, about what happens here and offered me the chance to do what I’m applying to do now. And that’s about it.”

Nezu nodded slowly, a satisfied look on his face. After a few tense moments, he smiled. “That’s just what I was hoping for, Kagami-san. Welcome to UA.” He held out his furry paw, shaking Kagami’s much larger hand.

Kagami wanted to slump back in their chair, but there was no chair to slump back into. Nezu scribbled something onto one of the documents before he shoved it back into the file it had come from, closed it, and then handed it to Kagami.

“This is all of the information you need to know about your job. All students are out on a mandatory break, but they’ll all be back tomorrow. I advise you to go over their files carefully, see what you’re going to be working with. Aizawa will be here later, you can speak to him if you need any help with getting settled in your new living space.” He clapped his hands together, “that should be it! Thank you so much for joining me, Toshinori-san, Kagami-san.”

Toshinori exchanged a few pleasant words with Nezu while Kagami got to their feet. They felt a little shaky, almost sick to their stomach from Nezu’s interrogation. Toshinori set a gentle hand on the middle of their back, leading them out of the office.

As soon as they were out, Kagami’s shoulders slumped, “god,” they gasped, “is he always like that?”

Toshinori shakily smiled, “only when he he finds something interesting. I’m sorry, I know that stuff like that is hard for you to talk about.”

Kagami shook their head, “it’s okay,” they said, smiling up at Toshinori, “I’m just happy I have you here with me. I think I would have taken flight if I had been in there one more minute!”

Toshinori snorted in disbelief, “come, Kagami,” he said as he started to walk down the hallway, “Aizawa-san really doesn’t like be left waiting.”

#Yandere bnha #yandere hawks #Yandere Takami Keigo #bnha #platonic yandere #Yandere dabi #dabi #Yandere mha #mha #my hero academia #Boku no hero academia #Yandere writing #yandere prompt #Hawks #Nezu #Nedzu #Toshinori Yagi #Yagi #All Might

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aevyk-ing · 3 years

Text

10 things that helped me through 2020

Okay, this has been quite a hard year. And most of my (and I’m sure everyone’s) problems were because or got even worse with the current situation of the world. But I still was able to find joy and happiness from time to time. This is a list of all the stuff that helped me during this year and I’m really grateful of this all:

1. Writing:

I started this year working on the illustrations of my first published novel: Zem. I published it in September and then translated it to English. I’ve been also working on another novel that I’m currently writing. And I’ve translated and written several fanfics. I swear there was a time, while I was checking Zem, that I felt like I could really make this my job. I’d love to spend the rest of my life creating this world, these characters, these stories... I’ve only felt real happiness once this year and it was while writing. I know it’s quite impossible to make a living out of this, that I have to find a job and keep working on my writing, but gods, I would give anything to be able to be an author.

2. Tumblr:

This site has been my retreat. I’ve met and followed some great people this year and any little interaction has made my day. Thanks everybody for the likes, reblogs and comments. I read them all and I’m just happy to be part of this site.

3. TOA Wizards

Tales of Arcadia... I think I’ve already said enough in my posts and nothing new would go here, but I’m infinitely grateful that these series exist.

4. The Tim Tracker

I found Tim’s channel last year, when I was getting ready for my trip to Florida. Since I was the one with the most free time in my family, I started watching his videos just to know what to do in Disney World, what to skip, etc. He’s such a funny and entertaining person and his videos are great to watch. I’ve also learned a lot of casual English thanks to them and the rest of his family is wonderful too. I’d love to meet people like that in real life.

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheTimTracker

5. Superstore

Now into the media. I haven’t seen much new stuff this year, and most of it didn’t make an impact. But my family and I were searching for something to watch after dinner and my father said: “What about this series?”. I had seen a couple of ads and it seemed fun. Plus, I really wanted to see America Ferrera in another role. And it was great (she’s great). Every character is funny, every episode is funny and I just love Amy and Jonah’s relationship. The 5th season is not available in my country yet, sadly, and we had to move to other (way less great) series.

6. Red shoes and the Seven Dwarfs

A not-so-guilty pleasure for me. I watched it in April or so (I don’t really know) and I absolutely loved it. Sure, there’s some copy-pasted stuff from other movies, but the rest is just great. The character designs are so pretty and Snow’s full arc was so relatable for me (being chubby in high school and being treated like a lesser human being). The voice acting is just perfect and even though I’ve watched it several times by now, it still hits the same.

7. KEIINO

I love this band. Their music has been helping me since last year and, this one, they had this wonderful online concert. Can’t wait to see what’s next for them.

8. Fanfiction

Another not-so-guilty pleasure. Sure, now I’m more of a writer than a reader, but I still love to get lost in a good story. Tales of Arcadia fanfiction helped me to fill the void while waiting for Wizards and it’s so interesting to read about these characters in another setting. It has helped me too when I wanted to write something just for the sake to write, without having to think about what’s going next and what I need to happen.

9. Drawing

After a whole year with so little time to draw and then an art block, I’m so glad I had the time and mindset to draw more. I’m still learning, going as far as I could with the Daylight December and pushing myself to get better in character design and concept art.

10. Cosplay

Almost all my life really sucked this year, but at least I had the creative stuff covered. This was a huge year for me, finishing my first armor ever and then inmediately starting another one. I’m also learning to do self photoshoots and to work alone, instead of depending that much on my mother or my grandma to check everything.

#2020 #personal #me #writing #tales of arcadia #tumbl #youtube #superstore #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #keiino #music #fanfiction #drawing #cosplay

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jaelijn · 4 years

Photo

So... story time. Today’s gift is was something I talked about a couple of days ago already, but then I decided I wanted to do a transcript, and well - it turns out there is no way I will finish the transcript while this Calendar is running, as I am not even managing to carve out enough free time to watch it all, so without further ado, you are getting it today:

The tapes of the Unicon Convention 1989 that I found on Internet Archive, featuring, clearly, Paul Darrow and Michael Keating but also Terry Nation. Whoever filmed it clearly was in it for PD, as the camera tends to focus on him a lot, but you get to see the other guests, too.

Gauda Prime Day Calendar 2020 Masterpost

Two remarks to begin with:

1) I haven’t watched/listened to all the tapes yet, so below I’m only commenting on the bits that I have watched (some of the first two hours or so). And perhaps I am the last person to find these, given how long I take to look for behind the scenes stuff, but if you haven’t seen them, there is definitely stuff there to be enjoyed. I also think they are invaluable as historic fandom material for B7.

2) There is definitely some stuff said in these / stuff said in ways that today would be... politically questionable. There’s also a lot of smoking. I won’t discuss these things except to say that they are there, and that this is a historic document, even if it is “only” 30 years old, and should be viewed in that context. If you want to talk about how inappropriate these people may be / may have been, please do it in your own post.

My personal highlights, as far as I have watched it, under the cut for length:

Paul Darrow is astonishingly touch-y (I really do understand now why the Fanlore article on A/V alluded to fans maybe have been shipping the characters more because of the actors’ easy con relationship even before I edited any of it). In fact, his entire body language is fascinating, also because of the ways in which it differs from Avon’s. He also sounds nothing like Avon, or very rarely. I don’t know if that’s the quality of the mic / vid, but it’s astonishing - especially compared to Michael Keating, who sounds entirely like Vila.

Their banter is inspirational and MK gives as good as he gets (better).

Michael Keating talking about Sir Patrick Stewart as if he were nobody and not being able to remember his name (ST TNG had only just started airing).

“Has anyone seen Red Dwarf?” - MK: “No, but I saw a pink elephant this morning.”

The first panel’s theme is “Heroes and Villains” and the question for MK whether he considers Vila a hero or villain is both fascinating, also because it leads into a discussion of “Orbit”, and incredibly entertaining.

FAN: Since you both survived, do you think the character of Vila could forgive the character of Avon?

[...]

MK: I think Vila would be forgiving, but weary.

PD: Right at the end of that episode you did something – right at the end of “Orbit” I mean Michael became quite hard as Vila on Avon

MK: I mean, you know, he was, this man who he sort of trusted and needed, you know, was going to kill him. Yes. (to PD) Wouldn’t you?

PD: What?

MK: Feel a bit… hard, suspicious, worried, because of who… [indistinct]

PD: But it was nothing personal, it was strictly business.

MK: Well, I know. Horrible thing to be thinking of, how could you. You’d’ve lost all your fans. (to the fan) That’s why you’re a Vila fan.

FAN: That’s one reason, anyway.

PD: What’s the other reason?

MK: I’m better looking.

*laughter and applause*

MK: And I’ve got my own hair.

The second panel is called “Liars” (starts at about 50min into the vid) and its entire premise is that everything the people say and the ways questions are phrased is a lie of some shape or form, “lie” being somewhat loosely defined (TN is addressed as Gene Roddenberry, for instance). This is hilarious and should be brought back for modern con panel. I also learned that MK can lie with an utterly straight face while every “lie” PD utters gains a sarcastic undertone, so perhaps it’s not just “Assassin” that made fan writers claim that Avon doesn’t lie well.

There is a question on whether Orac could control Gan’s limiter (oooooh) and, I kid you not, TN answers it with "Interesting you should ask that. Interesting. It actually… we have to lie a little, because Gan was a sex maniac. And the limiter was there to try and stop him doing all these terrible things.“ If this LIARS panel is the origin of that nonsense uh, very interesting interpretation, I might just die laughing.

#b7 advent calendar #blake's 7 #b7 ac 2020 #b7 cast #paul darrow #michael keating #terry nation #mine #my gif #b7 behind the scenes #oldey timey fandom

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bella-spil · 3 years

Text

Halloween

Summary: you and the avengers spend Halloween together.

Characters: Y/N (your name), Bucky, Loki, Thor, Tony, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Clint, Vision, Wanda, Peter, Shuri.

Warnings: cursing, tbh thats it. VINE REFERENCES

Word Count: 2.4

A/N: hi.. I’m sry I haven’t written in a while. School has been killing my creativity. This is gonna be more of a miniseries, more like 2-3 parts. It’s prob not gonna get much attention, but if you like it, just comment or re blog bc it helps my confidence with posting stuff on here. This is also inspired by a meme I saw (Ill post it at the bottom of the story) and a video with Anthony Mackie and Chris Evans (link) Masterlist is here

Tag List: @sea040561 @wednesday-add-em @kmuir1 (lmk if you wanna join)

Halloween was a week away. Tony being Tony, already paid for the decorations for the tower, so basically all of the floors look like a haunted house. Rolls of toilet paper stretched across arches in the hallways, tiny spiders were all over furniture, bones and eyes and zombies and witches and everything in between that you could possibly think of was in the tower. The tower looked like a zombie on steroids; creepy yet entertaining at the same time.

Everyone was fine with the decorations, but the costumes were a big issue. Steve and Tony kept arguing over the ideas, both of them wanting to do group costumes. Everyone else had their ideas too, but Tony and Steve were at each other's throats for the past couple weeks, since like August. Your room in the tower was right by the meeting office, so hearing the two of them screaming at each other for the most stupid shit was driving you insane. Once it got to the point where you had to yell at them to shut up.

This morning, a week before Halloween, while everyone was there, you cleared your throat while you heard Steve and Tony bickering.

“Guys this is getting to be too much. We need to have a meeting to discuss these fucken costumes.” you said.

“Yeah this is getting out of control,” Nat agreed.

“Guys, cmon, you have to agree with me. All of us having Iron Man suits would be awesome. We could fly around the city all night and have so much fun!” Tony said.

“Tony, stop. All of us being soldiers is better.” Steve countered.

“STOP!” Clint groaned. “You guys are insane. We need to discuss this as a group.”

Tony and Steve sat across from each other, glaring at each other. Death was looming between them.

“Fine,” Tony sighed. “When and where?”

“The office, 2pm,” Nat said. “And everyone has to show up, that means you too Bucky.”

Bucky groaned from the other side of the room. He hated group discussions, he liked working alone better. Said that it was faster to be alone and you didn’t have to worry as much.

~~~

2pm finally rolled by. Everyone has showed up in the big office, one that seemed a little too big. Everyone was tired of the bickering and had showed up, thankfully.

Tony, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Bucky, Sam, Peter P, Shuri, Wanda, Vision, Loki and you were crowded around the table. Tony was standing at the end with a whiteboard, prepared to write down ideas.

“So guys, what do you want to do?” Tony said.

“What about we dress up as famous Star Wars characters?” Sam suggested.

“Nah, Steve isn’t going to know who Yoda is. That’s a must if we do Star Wars.” Tony said.

“Devils and Angels?” Wanda said.

“Not original,” Steve said.

“What about we just wear each other’s costumes?” Thor suggested.

“You really think you are gonna wear my wings?” Sam said, a hint of annoyance in his voice that made you and Bucky snicker.

“I don’t think any of you guys want to wear a leather catsuit,” Nat said.

“We could dress up as famous vines,” Shuri offered, smirking at you and Peter.

The three of you quoted vines daily and the rest of the team never knew what you guys meant, which made it even more fun. Eventually, Sam, Bucky and Clint started learning vines with you because they kept saying things which you guys followed up with vine references. The frustration got to the three men and they started to learn with you, but they weren’t nearly as attentive as you, Shuri and Peter.

“What’s a vine?” Steve asked.

“Vine was a website created in 2012, officially released in 2013. It was ultimately shut down in 2016. Vine was a website where users would create short videos an-” Vision said.

“Vis, I don’t think they want a whole essay,” Wanda said, seeing the reactions of the other Avengers. Sam had started to fake snore, Loki was muttering something to Peter about knifes, and Shuri was about to watch vines, from what you could tell.

“It’s this app filled with people saying and doing stupid things for attention,” Nat sighed.

“IT IS NOT STUPID! VINE WAS LEGENDARY!!” Shuri shouted.

“YOU WOULD DO THINGS FOR THE VINE, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!!” you shrieked.

“EDUCATE YO SELF!” Clint shouted, right in Natasha’s ear. Doing that earned him a hard punch in the back of the head.

“Well I don’t have all day so we need something,” Tony groaned, hitting his expo marker against the whiteboard.

You and everyone else was trying to come up with ideas when all the sudden, quiet Peter Parker, who was pretty much the baby of the tower, spoke up.

“Mr. Frost Giant, God sir?” Peter asked.

“Loki,” Loki sighed, pleasantly shocked.

“So, you have ice powers right?” Peter continued.

“Yes, I am an ice giant,” Loki said.

“You should be Elsa for Halloween,” Peter gasped.

Then, out of nowhere, Clint jumped up, looking like he had 5 monster energy drinks and 10 packs of warheads.

“I’LL BE MERIDA!!!” he screamed.

“I must assume that I am going to portray Elsa then,” Thor said, with a smile on his face.

“So...we are doing Disney princesses?” Tony asked, slightly confused.

“Looks like it,” Bucky said.

“Who the fuck am I gonna be?” Shuri asked.

“Language.” Steve said.

You and Shuri looked at each other for a moment and with a slight nod of your head, you were both in a song.

“FUCK SHIT PUSSY ASS!!!” you and Shuri sang.

“MOTHERFUC-” Peter started to continue, but Tony just slapped his hand over Peter’s mouth. Tony swore that Peter wasn’t like a son to him, but this didn’t help his situation.

Steve was turning ad red as a tomato in his seat, not being able to process all the dirty words that escaped yours and Shuri’s mouths.

“Ok, who are all the Disney Princesses?” Tony asked, frustration in his voice as he looked down at Peter. Tony gave him a look, one that said “Stop this shit or you get your suit taken away for two weeks” and once Peter nodded his head slightly, Tony removed his hand.

Vision started to list a bunch of them off, even some of the ones that aren’t considered princesses, like Megara, Alice and Jane. Once Tony had a list of all the princesses, he started to write of all the avengers, making lines to match them up with their character.

“Ok, who wants to find their Disney princess counterpart first?” Tony asked.

“Me, I already asked before,” Shuri said rolling her eyes.

“Well I mean you already are a princess.” you said.

“Oh,” Shuri said. “I don’t have to dress up then. Haha. You can cross my name off, Tony.”

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes, while taking her name off.

“Next?” he sighed.

“What about me?” Steve asked.

“Oh this is gonna be interesting.” Sam grinned.

“Snow White.” Bucky said, without even hesitating.

“Wait why?” you asked.

“Ohhhhh, I think I see why,” Wanda smirked.

“Continue Barnes,” Natasha said.

“First of all, Snow White was the very first princess to come out. She came out in the thirties or forties. She’s the oldest. Steve was the first avenger and he is the oldest.” Bucky said.

“Bucky, you are a couple months older than me.” Steve countered.

“Second,” Bucky continued, ignoring his friend completely. “She is like the most gullible and is surrounded by followers. Snow White was like living with seven dwarfs. And she was underage and just lived with them. Steve here, was the leader of the Howling Commandos. And I was in that group, so I had to endure him and his stupid ass decisions, but I couldn’t elect to ignore it.”

“That’s offensive,” Steve said.

“That's the point,” Bucky said.

“Ok so Steve is Snow White.” Tony declared, making a line between Snow White and Steve on the whiteboard. “NEXTT!”

“Me,” said the super secret Russian spy.

“Hmm..” you thought.

“Megara,” said Clint.

“Oh that's a good one,” Sam agreed.

“Who is Megara?” Steve asked.

“She is an attractive Greek lady that Hercules, the son of Zeus, who is the King of the Greek Gods, falls in love with.” Thor explained.

“Thor, how do you of all people know that?” Shuri asked. “Shouldn’t Vision know all of these things?”

“M’lady, I am formally educated in Disney movies by the request of Peter Parker, also known as ‘The One and Only Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman’.” Thor explained.

“Kid, you make Thor, the God of Thunder, sit through Sleeping Beauty?” Tony asked, shocked.

“My dear man of Iron, Sleeping beauty was quite relaxing. That Prince Philip, that amazing man, demonstrated quite intellectually advanced ways to use a sword. Ways that I can use Storm-breaker effectively in battle.” Thor smiled.

Tony and Sam shared a look of disgust with a combination of interest and concern.

“Thor, I don’t think you can learn fighting tactics from a cart-” Vision started.

“I need to watch the movies again,” Clint and Bucky muttered under their breaths.

“No she should be Mulan,” Wanda said. “Mulan is determined and strong. Megara just messed with the God of Death.”

“I mess with death all the time,” Natasha countered.

“I should be Megara.” Bucky stated.

“Because you almost died?” Steve asked.

“Because your soul is dark and empty?” Sam asked.

“Yes and no. My hair is long, not as long as her’s but I can make it work. Hair extensions. She plays with Hercules’ emotions. She is also strong and independent. Like me.” Bucky explained.

“That settles it. Bucky is Megara and Natasha is Mulan.” Tony said, making lines between the two avengers and their princesses.

“nEXXttT!” Tony shouted.

“Me me me!” Wanda said happily.

“Yes Mr. Stark I would like to go as well.” Vision added.

“Wanda would make the perfect Moana.” Thor said. “Moana and Wanda both demonstrate very strong emotions, which affect their abilities regarding their powers and limits and they care deeply about the people that mean the most to them.”

He nudged Loki in the shoulder to try to get him more involved in the meeting. Loki was just throwing his knives up in the air, and Peter was getting very interested, and getting dangerously close to the God of Mischief. Tony was eyeing the two of them very, very carefully.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Loki sighed, just going along with Thor or the sake of it.

“Who would Vision be then?” Sam asked.

“He could be the dead grandma,” Clint suggested.

“Yeah, that one that turned into the manta ray.” Nat agreed.

“It’s settled. Moana and Dead Grandma Ray.” Tony said, making the lines once again. He had to add “dead grandma” to the board for Vision’s sake.

“NeXXXXXtttT!!” he shrieked.

“Tony, you should be Belle,” Natasha said.

“Yeah. I mean, they both fall in love and save the people that mean the most to them, even if it means putting their own life at risk.” Steve agreed.

“And they are both really smart.” Peter added.

“Peter, you just had to say that and I would have been on board. Now I had to listen to Steve and Natasha for a minute.” Tony groaned as he drew a line between his name and Belle’s.

“Thanks Tony,” Steve said sarcastically.

“Your welcome, Capsicle.” Tony gleamed back.

“Sam should be Cinderella.” Bucky said.

“OMG that works!!” Shuri exclaimed.

“Yeah..” Sam realized. “I’m Cinderella ‘cause she broke, homie.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, smiling from ear to ear, looking back at Sam.

“She represent me, yooo,” Sam said. Then he looked over at Steve and said, “Lemme borrow twenty dollas.”

By this point, Steve couldn’t hold in the laughter and almost fell out of his chair. And Sam, being as he called it “Steve’s best friend, better than Bucky,” saved Steve from collapsing on to the floor.

“Steve is the cinder princess. Deal with it.” Tony declared, adding another line.

“NeeXXttTTT!” Tony screamed.

“Now, all that’s left is Peter and Y/N,” Wanda said, eyeing you two.

“Peter should be Rapunzel. Before they face the real world, they are both innocent, but then when they see what the world is really like, it changes them.” Thor said, analyzing the similarities between the princess and the superhero.

“Jesus Christ, why is Point break actually really on point?” Tony asked.

“My dear Stalk of corn, I am educated like I told you earlier. Insect man has really helped me tap into my inner child and all of the pain my demon brother made me endure.” Thor said.

“Spiderman,” Peter mumbled.

“I take that as a complement.” Loki stated, out of the blue.

“Rapunzel is Parker.” Tony declared.

“Last but not least, Y/N.” Steve said.

Now, it took everyone a while to come up with a princess for you. You didn’t fit the exact mold or looks of a certain princess, so it was definitely harder.

“What about Alice?” Sam said/

“Why the fuck would she be Alice?” Bucky asked.

“Because Alice in Wonderland is supposed to portray the effects of drugs.” Sam explained.

“So your saying that I act like a drug addict?” you asked.

“NO!” Sam shouted.

“Sam, drop it before you dig your own grave.” Steve said.

“What about Jasmine?” offered Wanda. “You have a very free spirit like her, and she’s your favorite princess.”

“Yeah sure, that sounds fine.” you agreed.

“Y/N is Jasmine! dOOONNEe!” Tony shouted with relief.

“WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND!” Shuri shrieked. “I WANNA BE A PRINCESS. I WANNA BE TIANA SHE IS AN ABSOLUTE BADASS!”

“FINE!” Tony shouted back. “NOW WE ARE DONE. EVERYONE HAPPY?”

Everyone in the room, not wanting to disagree with a hot-headed Tony, looked around at each other and slowly nodded their heads.

“Great!” Tony smiled, a complete change in moods. “Tomorrow we are going to Party City to get our costumes. Everyone in this room has to come so we can get the wigs and dresses and makeup. No skipping out. That includes you Clint, Bucky and Loki.”

The three men who were called out rolled their heads and sighed. But they agreed to go. To Tony’s happiness.

“Great. Meeting finished. Pepper wants me for something. Probably for the party. Nobody try to call me or you will be met with an ear rape of AC/DC.” Tony said, putting on his glasses and promptly leaving the room in Stark fashion. Everyone eventually left the room, you being lost in your thoughts.

“You coming, doll?” Bucky asked, seeing you were still sitting in the room.

“Ya, I’ll be out in a second.” you said.

“Alright, you, me and Clint are doing a Disney marathon for fighting tactics. Don’t be late or you because we are gonna eat all the food. I don’t wanna hear you complain.” Bucky said, walking out the door with a lazy drag of his legs.

Now, relief filled your body. Now you wouldn’t have to hear arguing about costumes! And they actually agreed to costumes, shockingly. Now you just couldn’t wait to go to Party City and endure all the chaos. And then, you left the room to watch Disney movies again, for fighting tactics.

Oh, the chaos that awaits.

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