#being as i am kinda stupid‚ i am very hungry but if i eat something different from that one specific food i will only feel worse and guilty

[ginkovskij]

nothing new i'm just super hungry now on top of everything else ):

[mama-qwerty]

The Knucklesverse Guide

Updated December 15, 2023

A group of us on our Knuckles-centric discord server kind of accidentally created an au inspired by the Spiderverse movies. The Master Emerald—who loves her guardian something fierce—creates a special place where all the versions of her guardian from across different universes can come and socialize, be safe, and not feel so all alone anymore. This place exists in a little pocket dimension the ME created, and is called The Sanctuary.

While at the Sanctuary, the different Knuckles are called by what media or au they come from. Movie Knux is called Wachowski, Sonic Boom Knux is Boom, etc. There are a few au Knuckles that were created in that server that we play with as well, so I figured it would be a good idea to make a kind of cheat sheet so readers will know who these other Knux’s are. I’ll update this if/when I add more to whatever bits of writing I do for the Knucklesverse.

I have done A LOT of writing for this au in the server. They’re a lot of fun to play with.

There are more Knux in the Sanctuary—Archie, OVA, and Underground, for example—whom I will probably not include, mainly because I am not familiar with their backstories and personalities well enough. My main group is the Shatter Triplets, Boom, Wachowski, and a few of the new aus.

Anyway. Here we go!

~~~~~

Boom – age 16-18

from Sonic Boom tv show

the most emotionally aware Knux

the tallest of the batch – stands close to 5 feet tall

acts as the “big brother” to the others, because of his size and emotional intelligence

is very open with physical affection, giving hugs and forehead presses whenever one of the others need it – he’s the only one some of the more stoic Knux’s will accept this from

he’s less stupid in the Sanctuary, because the lack of a ME in his world is what contributed to his spacey thinking

Wachowski – age 16

from the live action Sonic movies

he knew his tribe, so can pass on customs and traditions and the language to the others

lost his tribe at age 6 and wandered the galaxy searching for the ME shortly after, being caught and forced to fight in arenas and such at a young age

typically has the calmest head of all the Knux

Dread – age 22-25

from Sonic Prime tv show – the shatterspace No Place

he, Gawain, and Sinbad are the three eldest out of the rest of the Knux

the shortest of the Shatter triplets, and has a bit of a belly

has a special bond with Boom, and is protective of his brother Gnarly

being in the Sanctuary helps calm the madness within him – his lack of a ME in his world is what made him go kinda bonkers and the Prism Shard didn’t help matters

over time he becomes less selfish and more protective of the others – but he’s still him and will turn to violence if he deems it the best course of action

Renegade (aka Ren) – age 18-20

from Sonic Prime tv show – the shatterspace New Yoke City

no-nonsense and blunt – he’s Prime Knuckles’ sense of duty and protection ramped up to 11

the most responsible of the Shatter triplets, but still gets pulled into shenanigans by Dread and Gnarly (mostly Dread)

gets ‘bad vibes’ when something’s wrong

doesn’t really like Dread all that much, but will step up to help if Dread needs it

Gnarly – age 15ish

from Sonic Prime tv show – the shatterspace Boscage Maze

grew up anxious and paranoid, thinking the trees were talking to him – he’s Prime Knuckles’ chaos sensitivity, and was ‘hearing/seeing’ the chaos energy in all the living things around him

while in the Sanctuary, the ME calms his mind

he’s still fidgety and a little jumpy with anxiety issues

tall and lanky, like a gangly teenager – always hungry and isn’t picky about what he eats

Dark – age 47

from the Dark Mobius storyline in Archie comics

became Enerjak, almost conquered the planet

arrogant and cruel – sucked out people’s souls to make them his minions

when he lost his power he became this old and wrinkly lump of nastiness

none of the other Knux like him, but the ME pulled him in because he’s a Knux and she believes everyone is worthy of redemption (spoiler alert, he doesn’t want redemption, he wants his power back)

he constantly tries to play on the others’ weaknesses and insecurities, to manipulate them into giving him back the power he so desperately wants again

Gawain – age 22-25

from Sonic and the Black Knight video game

essentially forced to be king when Sonic noped out

very protective of his country and people

has strong sense of duty and honor and failing at any mission or task is NOT an option

Sinbad – age 22-25

from Sonic and the Secret Rings video game

a sailor who butts heads with Dread

can use his World Ring to control storms

treasure hunter, but doesn’t have the best luck

X – age 16

from Sonic X anime

shortest temper, easy to rile up

most gullible, but still has the Knuckles heart of gold

always believes in second chances, even for enemies who were trying to kill him a moment before

can be very rude, but cares deeply about his friends

From the various Knuckles aus created by folks on the Echidna's Parade discord server

Cyber - age N/A

created by folks on the Echidna's Parade server

he was made into an A.I by getting assimilated into cyberspace 

was saved from cyberspace but ended up with many ai behaviors

is cold but feels bad about it

more logical than other Knuckles’

can summon Holographic screen he can display information on

Jax – 20ish

created by folks on the Echidna’s Parade server

a storybook au that follows along the lines of Black Knight and Secret Rings, based on Alice in Wonderland

ex-knight to the Queen of Hearts (Rouge)

she abused him for much of his life – he put himself in harms way to keep others safe, especially his world’s version of Tails

suffered much of his life due to this mindset of self-sacrifice

the queen cut his quills short – in his world quills are held in high honor and cutting them is a sign of shame and cowardice

one of the more quiet and reserved Knuckles and can have panic attacks

Quetzal (aka Q) – age 16ish

created by folks on the Echidna’s Parade server

a shapeshifter, who can transform into a large dragon, or a mid-size form between the dragon and echidna

has abandonment issues – his parents were killed as they protected his egg and their hoard, and when he hatched he instinctively began to protect the hoard as he waited for their return

adopts his friends and loved ones into his ‘hoard’ and is fiercely protective of them

was prophesied to bring death and destruction in his world, but he simply doesn’t want to so avoided that whole mess

communicates in chirps, whistles, growls and trills while in dragon form

behaves a lot like a lazy cat – loves to nap and force others to nap if he thinks they need it

gives off golden retriever energy when excited

typically not a fighter

Zombie/Zombby (aka Z or Little Z) – age 12

created by folks on the Echidna’s parade server

he was raised by his tribe to be the guardian of the ME, taught and groomed by the priests since he was barely hatched

they betrayed his trust, wanting to use the ME’s power for themselves

when he came of age at 12, they attempted to connect him to the ME but were overzealous and flooded his little body with so much chaos energy it killed him

they tried to hide their crime by burying him in a small grave, but the ME worked her magic and over the course of thousands of years, she ‘marinated’ him in her energy, reviving him

he’s technically still dead, but the abundance of chaos energy within him reanimated him

he can detach his limbs for comedic effects

classic baby of the family – can do just about anything and the others can’t stay mad at him for long

he has a bit of a limp – the others tend to carry him on their backs or shoulders because of this

doesn’t remember much of his life

Nile (aka Mummy Knuckles) – age unknown

personality created by the folks on Echidna’s Parade server

the Mummy skin from the game Sonic Forces: Speed Battle

holds himself in a regal manner

can be cold and distant, but has special soft spot for Zombby

is usually followed by at least 3 ghosts, but can conjure others at his command

very blunt and to the point

went through the mummification process for reasons (I don’t think we’ve hammered those out yet) – it was his choice to do so and he feels very proud for the honor

didn’t retain much memory from when he was alive, so pieced together who he was from the murals on the walls of his tomb – which depicted him as this stiff, regal person

Metzli and Yunuen (aka ‘the twins’) – age 17ish

created by the folks on Echidna’s Parade server

the twins are fundamentally Knuckles split in two

Yunuen was a body-less eldritch being, billions of years old, who wandered the galaxy and inhabited the bodies of mortals to give himself something to do

he would seep into the body of a mortal, copy their mind and memories and personality, and eject the soul of that body, dooming it to roam endlessly or vanish into the ether without that mortal tether

he did this time and time again, sending countless souls to their damnation

one day he came upon a lone figure on a floating island, and decided to inhabit him

Knuckles was copied, and his soul was ejected (after a bit of a struggle, which was unusual) and the being moved in and assumed Knuckles’ life

Knuckles’ soul refused to give up and stuck around, using his new ghost-like abilities to try and contact his friends

after some time, the eldritch being was ‘reverse corrupted’ due to Knuckles’ pure heart and overwhelmingly self-sacrificing nature

wracked with guilt, the being begged for forgiveness, his past atrocities weighing heavily on his mind

the ME recognized true remorse, and refused to let the now changed being leave forever, so she constructed a new body for Knuckles’ soul to inhabit

to avoid confusion the two adopted new names – Yunuen for the eldritch being in Knuckles’ original body, and Metzli for the new body created for Knuckles’ soul

Yunuen is anxious and fearful, his past haunting him

Metzli is very protective of his brother – he holds no ill will toward the being he was

they each retain some powers from their previous forms – Metzli has the ability to astral project, and Yunuen can alter matter and tap into his eldritch form when necessary (I’m not sure what that entails – don’t think we’ve really hammered that all out, either)

Okay, I think that’s all the Knux I typically work with. I’ll update this with more if/when I get more writing out that includes someone new I forgot.

Check out my Knucklesverse bits under snippets!

[flipping-the-coin]

Hush; whats the best and worst parts about living in megatrons walls?

ℰ𝓁𝒾𝓉ℯ 𝒢𝓊𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈𝓂ℯ𝒸𝒽: 𝒜ℊℯ𝓃𝓉 ℋ𝓊𝓈𝒽

◇─◇──◇─◇

I'm not quite sure how you managed to get this question to me, but I'm pinning the blame on Megatron. Whatever the case, it's not a problem. I've got nothing better to do stuck up here all the time.

Let me start off by saying that there is a LOT I could ramble about here. There are plenty of great things about being the unwanted roomie, and for that same reason, there are more than a few negatives when it comes to this whole arrangement. Some of the worst parts of this whole situation include everything listed below.

Its boring as slag here. Megatron never does anything of interest, and then on the odd chance that he does, it's always for Orion and so its sappy as frag.

The funds the guard gives me are just not enough to make do. Not to be ungrateful, but I have Carnage and my two other pets to take care of. I never told Paradox about them, but well, I didn't think it was important until I started going hungry.

It gets really cold up here in the walls sometimes, usually during the rainy season. Megatron has a space heater since the sound of the actual heater that was built into the hab makes Orion twitchy. But that space heater doesn't work through walls.

Megatron and Orion interface all. the. time. I don't think I need to say much more aside from stating that I tend to take a walk when they do their thing.

Orion organizes his stuff WRONG. Nothing is put into any sort of decipherable organizational order and it drives me mad. I've tried fixing it, but then Orion gets mad at Megatron and Megatron in turn gets mad at me. So I just have to deal with it.

The whole hab is decorated in a very debatable manner, but I can mostly deal with it... except when it comes to Orion's stupid RUG. The thing is neon yellow with black stripes to make it look like miner marks. It's hideous and clashes with every other piece of furniture, but Orion loves it. Megatron tolerates it.

I've had to stop attempted murders about... twelve times now? Four where from Ratchet putting too many pills in Orion's meds, not sure if it was an accident or not. Two were from Ratchet again, but in a more physical sense. The rest where just mechs with vendettas trying to screw Megatron over in subtle ways. They suck at it by the way. Poisoning energon stopped being effective two stellar cycles into the great war.

That's about the worst of it I think. As for the good things? Let me list those in similar fashion real quick.

Megatron gives me stuff to read. It's REALLY boring up here, so every now and then he throws me a bone so to speak and offers me reading material. Pretty sure its mostly illegal, but it's something to do.

Megatron also lets me proofread his writing and edit sometimes. With no one else in the hab more often than not, I suspect he enjoys knowing someone is listening when he spends groons reading poetry. It's a nice distractor once you get used to the romantic nature of his work.

Every now and then Megatron makes me something absolutely delicious to eat. It's usually after I do him a favor, but by the Thirteen, he makes amazing pastries. I am willing to jump through hoops to get some of his cooking.

I got annoyed with Orion's garden situation so I took up the role of gardener with a disguise in place. Now once every two deca-cycles I get to have tea with him and First Aid. It's a blast.

I got to blanket as a gift from Orion once while I was using my alias. I adore that blanket.

Yeah I think that's the most notable stuff. The cons kinda outway the pros, but it is what it is. I'm happy enough I suppose. I've got my pets and I've got my little spot in the walls.

It's fine.

[annavatar]

liar 💜

hi guys! this was one of the fics I wrote and when I got a new acc I decided to save some! warnings : bad language , bad writing , kinda angsty, jealousy etc

requested : no ✅

word count : idk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this morning was a morning not different from the rest. neteyam decided he was not gonna sleep in your shared tent, and he stayed with his family. it seemed like every night ended the same, one of you guys being mad about something stupid the other did and then leaving mad, and not talking for the rest of the day. 

  as you were very hungry from not going to dinner,  because of neteyam, you headed down to breakfast. the first thing you fucking see is some girl touching up on neteyam, you thought ‘Hey! Maybe today will be different!!! I won’t fight with Neteyam!’

      false. who did this girl think she is? all neteyam did was smile and laugh at her attempt at swooning him. he was leading her on. ugh. how this made you mad. 

         neteyam looked away from the girl he was talking to and your eyes met. his eyes said a million things, you saw a flash of regret in them, but that faded away as fast as it arrived.  you had decided that you weren’t going to go the trouble of plucking that girls eyes out. so you went on a walk/hunting trip. you walked to go grab your bow when you were stopped by neytiri.

“ hello y/n, where are you going? “ she asked curiously.

“I just need to go for a walk….to uh. clean my head- yea that’s all!” You replied.

“oh well neteyam was going to go later as well, how about you go to eat some breakfast and go together- you’re starting to look awfully thin.”

  you love neytiri and all, but did she really 

need to push your buttons once more?

“ no thank you, I’ll be going by myself… as for neteyam I’m sure he has a backup to keep himself company.” You replied with a forced smile. 

“if you say so, daughter.” She replied, now curiously walking towards neteyam.

you begin to just wander the forest of pandora, god this place is gorgeous. you begin to understand how kiri feels when going on these type of things , you’ve never felt more connected to the forest, and the life than you did right now. you find a little pond with some fish in it. you though ‘hey, while I’m here I could still be benefiting my tribe.’ so you were just going to catch some fish.  you made your way onto the bank - loaded your arrow, and shot, catching the fish. you put the fish inside your catching bag that was lazily slung around your waist. 

 you did this a few more time until you heard a noise. your ears perked up at the noise.

   you slowly started to retreat when a hand gripped your arm and pulled you forward. it was the one person you had left to clear your thoughts from, the one man you loved so much, but got so irritated every time you saw him. neteyam.

“y/n?! what are you thinking! hunting alone- imagine what could’ve happened to you!-“

“it’s not like you would’ve cared, seeing as though you have other people to keep you company. you replied with a growl.

He scoffed. “what are you even talking about!?”

“yaknow that girl from breakfast who was obviously attempting to swoon you-“ you said.

“oh my gosh, are you serious? she’s just a friend! and we were talking about yesterdays catch! “

“mhm, sure neteyam.” 

   his eyes looked up at you from the lack of a pet name, since you usually called him “love, darling, baby etc.”

“why are you always like this now?, constantly fighting me on every little fucking  thing!”

“it’s not my fault you could care less about this relationship!” you replied. 

“I’m putting everything into this relationship!” he replied angrily.

“ are you though? or is that what your ‘friend is telling you.” you interjected sarcastically.

“ I am! your the one fighting me-“

“because YOU don’t care about US anymore teyam. I have tried to not be angry, or irritated with you and your behavior but you BARELY EVER have time for me anymore- if you cared JUST A LITTLE BIT you would spend time with me and just- listen to me!”

“y/n no, that’s not true YOU have not given me time or-“

“no neteyam. I’ve given you my time, and unconditional affection, and basically my LIFE. I’ve given you everything I have, and now have NOTHING left to give you.” you replied choking back on a sob.

this shocked him. both of you tearing up at each other. you suddenly though the ground was more interesting than this. until you heard a small voice .

“ d-do you still love me ?” He asked, gently grabbing you arm and tracing patterns on it.

“ neteyam, of course I love you. I cannot ever stop loving you, I just think we may need some time-“  

“no. please y/n , I love you, I love you , I love you, I’m not ready to let you go..” Neteyam pleaded. 

“your the only one who sees me for me, you see me at my worst and most vulnerable, I cannot let this be nothing PLEASE.” he cried out. 

    At this your heart broke. you knew you needed to work on this. you slowly started to sit down bringing him with you. his tears dropping on the ground. you looked back at him and he seemed broken, and misunderstood. he moved close to you and pressed your foreheads together. he slowly looked into your eyes and pressed a kiss to your forehead, both of your cheeks, and eventually he made eye contact with you again, silently asking for consent, and you nodded and he kissed you passionately sadly, as if you’d never kiss him again. 

   as you pulled away you said, 

“my neteyam, I see you. to progress our relationship we must rebuild on trust and mutual understanding. we need to communicate more.” you replied .

“y/n I had no idea you felt like you did until today. oel nagti kameie. i’m sorry, and I completely agree. I love you. please forgive me.” he replied looking lovingly at you.

you smiled at him and shook your head yes, and then you went in for a hug. you guys sat there for a little bit just tangled up in each others embrace. you moved your hand to cup his cheek. he stared at you with admiration. you then leaned in more and laid you head on his chest as he played with your hair- something he knew you loved. 

“ baby?” he said.

“yes teyam?” you replied.

“ can we sleep together tonight, I cannot sleep without you..” he said.

“of course my darling, whatever you want.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AN: howdy 🤠, not my first fic just the first one I posted on my new acc! REQUESTS ARE OPEN DO NOT SHY AWAY JUST SEND EM!

MWAH 💋

[iwannawritelots]

Coming Out: Transgender

Originally written November 2021

Masterlist

Genre: comfort

Ship(s): Lucifer X MC

(genderless trans MC)

(requested)

Trigger/content warnings: gender dysphoria, negative self-talk

Headcanons/notes from the author: originally the requester wanted transmasc MC but I ended up making it pretty neutral. It reads more as a binary trans reader instead of anywhere in between, though. Mentions my main trans headcanons for obey me.

Brief Blurb: MC is very dysphoric and skips lessons.

You had found yourself completely unable to leave bed. That morning, you texted Lucifer that you were sick and didn't want anyone, including himself, to come bother you. Surprisingly, he had fulfilled your wishes completely. You heard the brothers leave the House of Lamentation about an hour after you awoke, meaning you were all by yourself.

Despite not wanting to be bothered, you did get rather lonely just playing on your D.D.D. in bed. After a few hours of laying, you were also hungry on top of being lonely and dysphoric. Eventually, you reached for your two-sizes-too-big hoodie and put it on while remaining underneath the covers, then slinked out of bed.

You opened your door, then nearly jumped out of your skin at the sight before you. Lucifer had pulled up a chair against the wall opposite your door, and passed out in it. You figured he had been waiting there since this morning, but this meant he hadn't left to attend R.A.D. with the others. Since when did Lucifer skip lessons?

He was stirring, probably from the noise your door made when you opened it... so you panicked and just left the door open while hurrying downstairs towards the kitchen. Once you got to the fridge, you opened it and dug around for a snack. There wasn't a whole lot left, probably because Beel did before and after breakfast snacking. Eventually you decided on just taking the vegetable plate that they had bought you not too long ago, thinking you'd like human world food to be around. While they weren't wrong about that, it wasn't exactly the food you had in mind... so it kinda just sat there for a month.

Just as you were about to head back upstairs, you realized Lucifer would definitely wake up if you returned to your room. Sighing, you brought your veggie plate to a corner in the kitchen and sat there, eating very quietly. "There you are."

You startled and nearly choked on your food. "Lucifer!?"

"I did not intend to frighten you, I'm sorry." He frowned a little, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "I just... noticed you left your room..."

"Y-Yeah..." You sighed and stuffed another vegetable in your mouth.

"I can give you space, if you still want that."

For a few seconds, you didn't say anything. Then, taking a deep breath, you shook your head. "No... I would... like your company."

Giving a small smile, Lucifer came over and sat across from you on the floor, grimacing a little. "Why are you on the floor?"

"Mm, I thought maybe you were still asleep..." you muttered. "I didn't want to bother you. You're always so exhausted, and I feel embarrassed of myself..."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why are you embarrassed of yourself?"

"Well..." You fumbled with your food, considering telling him the truth. "I'm not... exactly in a good headspace right now."

Hesitantly, he told you, "I assumed that was why you said you were sick." You felt your face grow hot, feeling silly for not thinking about how he would figure it wasn't a full truth. "While I know you are a human and I am a demon... you can still talk to me about things. I raised my siblings, and I've been around a long time... there's a lot more I might understand than you think."

This was something you already knew, obviously. Just as you knew Mammon and Levi were transmasculine, and Asmo was genderfluid, and that Barbatos and Simeon were non-binary... It was as if he could tell you were trans and scared to come out. "I feel stupid..."

"That... wasn't my intention."

"I know, but I still do." You sighed and set your food aside. "I know you won't care if I tell you what's bothering me... but I was in the human world all my life. Things aren't... nearly as nice about what I want to tell you."

"Darling, I don't want to pressure you into telling me if you aren't ready to."

"I want to tell you, though. I feel so dumb being scared when I know you won't be upset." You shyly crawled to him and sat next to him, only to have him pull you into his lap. Flustered, you snuggled into his chest. "Lucifer, is it okay if I tell you?"

"Of course it is."

You took a deep sigh, relaxing into him as he cupped your cheek and rubbed his thumb against it. "I'm trans..."

"I know." He chuckled. "I'm assuming you aren't out in the human world?"

"That's right..." you told him quietly. "I'm so scared..."

He hushed you and scratched at your scalp. "You don't have to be scared here. We love you as you are." Hearing that from him seemed to touch a part of your heart that made you burst into tears. This alarmed him, quickly adjusting himself to see your face. "Did I say something wrong?"

"N-No, you made me happy..." you mumbled, hiding in him. "I love you so much, p-please don't ever change..."

He chuckled, kissing your head. "I love you too. Do you want to tell the others yet, or just me?"

You sniffled and muttered, "Them too."

Smiling, he rubbed your back and kissed your head once more. "As you wish, my love."

[maddiem4-writes]

Reposado - Chapter 10

Citrine got to the supply closet before I did, of course, but it took her a moment to open a spylet big enough to walk through. I collapsed on the floor next to her, gasping like an asthmatic. “Don’t… blow up my school… magic cat… come on….”

She tsked at me. “Analisa, you’re going to have to get in shape very quickly. The hungry darkness waits for nobody, and eats the slow. Does this school not have physical education?”

I glared at her. “Yes… it’s the class… I’m best at cheating in…”

She laughed at that. “What a perfectly useless talent. Be limber, kitten. Swift like gossip. You’ll thank me later.”

I grumbled, splayed out on the blissfully cold, inevitably nasty linoleum. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

She shook her head playfully and disappeared through the spylet, with a curt “be right back, bluebelly.” The hole closed behind her, and once again, the door was just a door. I rolled over from my belly onto my back, seeing spots in my vision. Well, she might have a valid point about one thing. This feeling would get old real fast. Stupid magic arson cat, with rocket legs. I stared up at the cheapo particle board tile ceiling, listening to the faint bumping and knocking noises inside the closet, and took a second to just… absorb. And think.

I turned my head toward the door. “Hey Citrine? I’m way in over my head and just trying to catch up here. Obviously. Just, uh, just wondering. What’s the hungry darkness? Is that, uh, that a metaphor or something? Be pretty cool if that was a metaphor, just sayin'.” No response, but a clinking of glass against glass from somewhere in the closet. “Because it sounds bad, you know. That’s all."

Citrine made a noise that wasn’t any human language, but still kinda sounded like swearing. Something glass shattered on the floor inside. “I am okay, I am fine, I’m just very upset. I would not organize a supply closet this way, kitten. This place is the work of idiots and coldroun sniffers. Many strong potions have been huffed in this godforsaken place. But don’t worry, I have achieved what I need. Height and…” The handle turned, and the door swung open, Citrine hanging on the its bar shape by her paws, holding it down with her whole body weight. “…proximity!”

She dropped down to the floor, having swung far away from the concrete floor of the supply closet, which was now covered in glass shards of every size from what seemed like probably an empty beaker. She did a little sashay and bow, like a kitty gymnast. “You see, kitten? Not all tricks are magic!”

I laughed. “Not bad, little witch cat. Not bad.” I gave her a scritch and a head pat, which she seemed to enjoy. I looked back into the dim closet space, propane tanks glinting in the light that poured in through the open door. They were mostly wrapped in blue labeling, but there at the nozzle it was a little more honest about really just being stainless steel. I sighed at the sight of it. “And there’s no Plan C, huh? No option that doesn’t involve doing that…” I pointed to the beaker. “… to the nurse’s station?”

Citrine sat and pondered with a surprising solemness, and took her time to answer. “The hungry darkness is not a metaphor. It is a very small piece of a very large machine, and yet it is still far bigger than all of us combined. Your friend, my heartbound, is closer to the veil of death than she has ever been before. If you ever loved her…” there was a bite to these words that caught me off balance. “…you will trust me that there are no better choices, and that we have no right to quibble while she drowns in the River Styx. We pull by her ankles, but the rest of her is already beneath the surface.” Citrine looked up at me. “That is the situation."

I looked up from the cat to the propane tanks. Breathe in, breathe out. “Alright then. Plan B.” I stepped into the closet, grateful for the thick soles of my boots, and grabbed the nearest tank, which was heavy as shit by the way. A big piece of glass crunched under my foot. “Mazel tov, motherfuckers."

[strangeinvader9]

Origins

Five days. Five days since I'd had something to eat, nine since I had a filling meal. It wasn't something I wasn't used to, being a stray and all, but Fluffy wasn't. People loved her and gave her scraps whenever possible, but things were changing. It was the middle of December; weather was getting harsher, temperature was dropping and food was getting scarcer. Today, the temperature was dropping rapidly despite the weak sunshine and I knew a blizzard was coming. We needed to find shelter and we needed to find it now. I nudged Fluffy once more, trying to get her on her feet. She weakly batted my nose,trying to get me to go away. "Jewel, cut it out. I'm cold, tired and hungry," she complained. "Fluffy, a blizzard is coming. If we don't get to shelter now, we could die," I argued. "We're going to die of starvation anyway so what's the point?" "We will not. I promised to protect you and I intend to keep that promise. C'mon, let's find some cover." I scampered off in search of said cover and Fluffy reluctantly followed after. After about an hour of searching, I found what I thought was an abandoned building on a small hill. "What is this place?" Fluffy asked. "Don't know. All the metal makes me think it's a factory of some sort," I responded. "Maybe people still work here. It smells strongly of humans." "So long as we avoid them, it shouldn't be a problem." After a bit more wandering around the building, I heard Fluffy's stomach growl. "Hungry?" I asked. "Aren't you?" she countered. "Not really. Why don't you try to find some food while I search for a warm place to sleep tonight." "Kay!" She wandered down one hall while I continued down another. Inside one of the rooms, I found an orange and white blanket piled on the floor. Works for me! I thought with a grin. Scampering over, I leaped onto the top and curled up. It's so soft and fluffy. I'm definitely gonna enjoy sleeping here tonight. I began to dose off when I caught the scent of food. Opening my eyes and looking down, I saw Fluffy dragging a napkin of food into the room. My ears perked in surprise at that. "Jewel, look! I brought us a feast!" Fluffy exclaimed happily. "I see that," I replied, hopping off my blanket. "You sound surprised." "I am. In my experience, you rarely find food and warmth in the same place." "I guess we got lucky this time." "I guess so. C'mon, let's eat. I'm sure you're starving." "I don't see how you can't be. You haven't eaten for longer than I have." "I'm used to it, you're not. Now shut up and eat." She eagerly did so and I joined her. Once my stomach was filled to the point of bursting, I hopped back onto my blanket and lay down. Fluffy hopped up with me and curled up. "Jewel, you think the humans that work here will let us stay?" she asked. "Of course they'll let you stay. But since I look kinda rabid, they will most likely kick me out as soon as they see me," I answered. "But you're not rabid!" "Fluffy, you've been with me for almost a year, you should know by now that people go based off looks." "I think it's stupid." "It is, but that's how people are." I suddenly dug my claws into the blanket when I felt it move. I hadn't expected it to move. "Was I hearing things? Oh! Kittens!" I heard someone say. Looking around, my fur stood on end as I noticed we were not laying on a blanket, but a bear. A polar bear! Those things were deadlier than grizzlies. "Hello little kittens," it said with a smile. I felt my throat close in absolute fear. A polar bear that can talk! I thought in shock. What's it going to do with us? "You guys don't belong here. Let's go see what the captain wants me to do with you." Very gently, the bear stood up and began to carry us somewhere. Captain? I wondered in horror. We're on a damn pirate ship! Fluffy, noticing my distress, carefully nuzzled me. Instinctively, I took a swipe at her. "Ouch! What was that for?" she grumbled. "Sorry, Fluffy. You scared me," I explained. "What's your deal anyway? You looked like a statue as soon as the bear mentioned the captain." "The exact reason I became a statue. We're on a pirate ship! Pirates have reputations for being cruel, ruthless people." "Maybe these guys won't be so bad." "Don't hold your breath." "Bepo-ya, what's that you got there?" a new voice called. Turning towards the new voice, I felt my blood run cold and my heart began to pound against my rib cage. This guy reeked of danger. His skin was a dark tan color with black ink tattooed on it, he had two piercings in each ear, a goatee, sideburns and a fluffy, spotted hat. What stood out to me most though were his eyes. They were a sharp, piercing steel grey. Although the dark circles under them told me he didn't sleep much, those eyes spoke of great intelligence. "Kittens, Captain. They seemed to have snuck onto the sub and were using me as a bed," the bear, Bepo-ya, explained. Wait, sub? I thought. Oh, dear god, no! We're going to be trapped here! Submarines generally travel underwater! I felt a chill crawl up my spine when the captain smirked. "Is that so? Bring them to me," he commanded. Bepo-ya brought us closer to the captain and I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The captain reached to take us from his subordinate and I clamped my teeth around his pointer finger. He didn't even flinch. Bepo-ya, on the other hand, nearly flipped shit. "Are you ok, Captain?" he asked. "I'm fine, Bepo-ya. The little kitty is just petrified and reacting on instinct to protect itself," he responded. "She could be rabid, Captain!" "She's not. Her eyes are not bloodshot nor is there foam around the mouth. She's just abnormally fluffy. She probably just needs a bath and a good brushing." "Should we give her one then?" "Since she still has yet to let go of my finger, I'll take care of it. Why don't you see to this one, she has a small scratch on her nose. If we're going to keep them, I don't want it getting infected." My ears perked up at that.  "You're keeping them?" Bepo-ya asked. "For now at least. It's far too cold for them here, what with a blizzard coming and all." Hearing a happy meow, I looked at Fluffy who was in the captains' other hand, purring like an engine. "Pushover," I huffed. "What? They said they're gonna keep us!" she protested. "For now, you idiot! They're gonna dump us on the first warm island we come across." "You're such a cynic, Jewel." "Better then being a clueless dolt, Fluffy." "They sound like they're arguing, Captain," Bepo-ya commented. "Perhaps they are, Bepo-ya," Captain responded. "Go get the first aid kit to take care of the Black one's scratch. I'll take the grey one to the infirmary for a bath." "Won't that contaminate something?" "No. She should be fine." Bepo-ya and the Captain did a trade off and I finally let go of his finger. Although he still smelled dangerous, I sensed no immediate threat. Once in the infirmary, Captain sat me on the counter while he filed up the sink for my bath. While he was occupied, I decided to explore a little. You know, curiosity killed the cat kind of thing. As I was about to sniff at this container of clear goo, a tanned finger poked me in the nose. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Kitten-ya," Captain spoke up. "That's hydrochloric acid. It's very toxic." My ears went back at that. Hydrochloric acid was extremely dangerous! The finger then lightly patted my shoulder. "Come away from there, Kitten. Your bath is ready." Backing away from the container, I went to the sink which was 1/3 full of water. Stepping in,  I realised it had a pleasant temperature. I began to bat and paw at the water. It had been a while since my last bath, so I decided to play a little. Hearing a low chuckle, I looked up to see an amused smirk on Captain's face. "Having fun, Kitty?" he asked. In response, I marched around the sink, splashing a little. That got another chuckle out of him. After a bit more splashing around, I felt a hand on my back. "That's enough now, you need to get cleaned up," Captain instructed. I then sat still and let him bathe me. A few months had passed since then. Although we had stopped at islands with better living conditions, Captain always found an excuse to keep us around. Fluffy was under the impression he actually liked having us. I was inclined to agree. Every time I'd try to stay on an island when he'd complain about, "Damn cat fur every where" or "Pain in the ass grey feline", he would personally hunt me down and bring me back to the sub. Confusing bastard. During that timeframe, I'd learned several things. One, we were traveling with the Heart Pirates crew. Two, the captain of said crew was known as the Surgeon of Death, Trafalgar Law. Three, the other members of the crew were Shachi, Penguin, Jean Bart and Bepo. Four, apparently the 'ya' Law would use at the end of someone's name was a little quirk of his. I had originally thought it was a term of endearment used for his friends. Then we ran into this redhead he called "Eustass-ya" and he hated him so I ruled that out. And five, something about Law intrigued me. I often found myself watching him from a distance. I may have learned to trust the rest of the crew, but something about him remained a mystery. That's why I currently found myself sitting in the doorway of his office while he was doing paperwork. My ear twitched at the nearly imperceptible pat pat pat of paw pads on the sub floor. "Hey, Jewel! Whatcha doin?" Fluffy asked as she sat beside me. "Studying," I responded, not once looking away from Law. "Again? You know Jewel, it's starting to look like you have a crush on Captain." I immediately shot her a look. "Absolutely not, fur-ball!" I argued. "Then why are you always staring at him? If it's not a crush, are you stalking him?" "What? No! He's interesting, that's all. He's a mystery." "And you want to solve that mystery?" "Not quite. I just wanna get to know him." "Sure Jewel. Have fun with your crush," she teased as she walked away. "He is not my crush, dammit!" I hissed after her. Turning back to watching Law, I noticed he was looking in my direction. I guess all the yowling and hissing had distracted him. Cautiously, I crept into the room and up to his desk. When I  wasn't immediately shooed out, I hopped up next to his book and looked at it curiously. He's such a bookworm. I thought amusedly. Law then laid his hand out, palm up next to me. It was his way of letting me sniff him to show he wouldn't hurt me. In return, I'd give him a curious sniff then go about my business. He never tried petting me as he could sense my distrust. This time, I decided to do something different. After sniffing his hand, I placed my paw in the center of his palm and meowed. Law looked at me from the corner of his eye and I meowed again. Hesitantly, he scratched under my chin with a finger and I purred. I may not have trusted him yet, but I saw no reason not to at least try. He was harmless so far, why not give him a chance?

[luna-lilium-nineteenth]

Lately I’ve been so bored and restless within the day to day, and I’ve been stressed with work and being behind on my workload and I’ve been disheartened and disappointed that I can’t get an assessment for ADHD to try and get help (and I’m STILL waiting for group CBT for low mood and coaching as the only things I can access to try to help)

All of this combined has lead me to lean on my coping skill of daydreaming fantasies and inserting myself in scenarios that don’t exist and that I’m currently obsessed with (I’ve been daydreaming that I’ve moved abroad and am living a different kind of life). But I’ve hit a point where I got too wrapped up in the daydreaming.

I apparently score as anxious on all the CBT pre-screening questions but I never felt worried or anxious, I was happy but just stressed with a dash of sadness because of feeling so incompetent at work. But in typical overthinking natural I’ve asked myself ‘am I anxious?’

And now I actually am. I’ve tricked myself into feeling waves of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been giving myself brushes of disappointment across my chest that weigh heavy on my lungs. And I’ve been ploughing through each day expressionless or masked with a smile, and the occasional burst of verbal hyperactivity, but have been plagued with underwhelm and disconnection. I’ve been craving something and I don’t know what it is, I need a focus and something exciting to motivate me through each day, but the more I live in this fantasy land in my head the more the logical side of my brain yells at me to return to reality. And then I become terrified of the crushing weight of disappointment, as I realise the things I daydream about will never happen. I’m breaking my own heart daily with the sudden and harsh snap back to reality as I yell to myself ‘it isn’t real!’, and then crush myself with the sadness that I’ll never achieve a life like my fantasies if I keep only living in fantasy.

My emotions are often intense and I don’t handle the big ones well. I’ve spent a lot of my life with depression and I escape to fantasy to cope, but anxiety? It’s not a feeling I’ve had a lot, I’ve had intense excitement that makes me stim (and I’ve always kinda hidden that), but anxiety is much less familiar. I logically know a lot about anxiety having worked in mental health before, but my stupid brain is hardwired to grab at quick fixes and instant results. I feel anxious today and I suddenly found myself rummaging through all my medications and herbal remedies seeking at johns wort or something similar and ended up taking out of date CBT drops in a desperate attempt to erase the feelings of anxiousness as my thoughts started to get louder. As I’m working and have a very strong moral compass I have just narrowly avoided the temptation to drink whiskey to get through the day and shut my mind up.

I thought maybe I’m just hungry and tried to eat only to find myself crying and shaking and hitting my own head over a bowl of salad. It’s a side of myself I don’t show people, nor do I admit to it either (until right now I guess).

I wonder if I’ll feel better by getting some tasks done at work as I’m meant to be WFH right now. But I kept getting the waves of dread and fear in my stomach making it even harder to ‘just push through’ the lack of focus I have. I feel like I’m going to keep having meltdowns until I can find a new thing to obsess over so I can push through the day masking as normal and typical and living for the moments in between where I live in a daydream. But as of right now I’m acutely aware I’m too emotionally attached to the daydream and I’m scared I’ll go crazy with heartbreak as I keep hitting myself with the reality that it’s not real and never will be.

[monumentalslutt]

i’m about to start crying over y ex wtf i’m too stoned for this rn .⁉️ but literally feel like he will never ever realise how much the shit he did hurt me and the fact that he always just acted like he never fucking cared. but it’s not his fault, it’s probably just an experience that was meant to happen for me i guess 😂😂 universe wanted to really make sure i end up turnin like jade or something anyways. i still care about him and i think i always will, i just wish he knew how the things made me feel too, and it hurts my feelings he didn’t care enough to even try fix things he was just like ok well i never have to see u again anyways stupid cunt and ur hot friends are still here so win win 😜😜😜😜 he didn’t say that but i bet u that’s like the train of thought anyways, i still care about him obviously. i think i always will like no matter what he does or how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other i’ll always care about him, but i will just like make sure he’s okay from a very far away, i check if he’s still following me on pinterest every once and a while to make sure he doesn’t fully not give a fuck abt me because then i will be sad because i still care about him and would like help him if he ever needed idk imagine like an emergency situation sorry i’m really stoned and am just really enjoying typing but it’s really hard to stay focused on trying to write down my thoughts and feelings and yassss i’m actually so excited for tomorrow i’ve never been to a guys house other than my ex. that also makes me mad bcs how come he gets so many bitches and i get none like where are the hoes at am i right like, i need him to give me some pointers or like tips on how to talk to new people i hate having to meet new people it’s awful and i’m just painfully awkward most the time it’s literally shameful ugh anyways yasss my first hoe but i’m very nervous because ive literally never even had a conversation with him like hes literally never even been like hey how are you ????? but it’s fine i know what he looks like and where he lives and. i know he’s not a 40 year old man ok don’t fret but i’m really scared hes gonna wanna fuck bcs i’m late for my period bcs eatin disorders am i right i habe no idea when it will come back anyways YEAH so i’m not around ovulation bcs i have kinda temporarily fucked all that up ANYWQYS yeah so bro better have lube and condoms kiddinf i am not fucking a random guy sorry and no matter who i fuck or how long i’ve known them lights off ❌❌❌❌❌❌ i’m literally a virgin but for if it happen, actually i feel weirdly insecure about being a virgin because like i don’t know i feel like a nun but also the fact i’ve never done it makes me nervous and i really don’t like the idea of having to be naked with somebody else sorry i literally cannot stand my limbs and i also feel like i would somehow have an ugly fanny so nobody is EVER seeing my fanny, never ever letting anyone eat me out sorry that actually sounds awful bcs brutha WHAT IF I SMELT VAD OR TASTED FUNNY or what if i had a hairy but crack??? or a no what if my flaps are too small or too big like no absolutely not anyways sorry idk why i just started talking ahout all of that i’m still fretting ahout what to wear i’m literally just going to his house so i feel like purple shorts would work BUT i fucking hate my legs and what if he is like jump scared by how i look irl and what if he didn’t realise i had such funny looking body oh my lord 🙈🙈🙈🙉🙈🙈 what the freak bro anywys i’m getting doordash hungry jacks is supposed to be here and i’m trying to eat a bit this evening because i’m fuckin constipated and i really cant be constipated tomorrow afternoon bcs ?!!!! no absolutely not now i’m really scared that i have head lice bcs today i nit treated my friends hair bcs she got nits from a 2 year old literally stay away from all children’s heads and also i literally am at a daycare two days a week and i swear to god i can feel shit crawling omg wtf is happening ok no nevermind i do not have head lice i was geekin anyways new chains same shackles is so good mwah

[tears-of-boredom]

you know, if someone asked me to say a complete lie, i would say: "I have a perfectly normal and healthy relationship to food and the act of eating.",, one time i had such a good eating routine going on that i realised just how little i actually crave sweets and stuff when im not hungry. and that makes me really sad actually. because i was aware of that fact, sure, but not to what extent it went. so now, anytime i eat something sweet, i am acutely aware of how im only doing it because im struggling to eat "real food". which makes me feel guilty. and also like a very disappointing person. because to my brain, if im aware of something i do, some behaviour of mine, and i still continue to do it, its on purpose. if im aware of it, i am choosing to do that. and that is fucking stupid, i know, but this shit run so deep in me at this point that pointing out how stupid these kinds of thoughts of mine are only makes me lean into them more. because people make it seem like its so easy to just not think them, so clearly they wouldve gone away if i could rid them so easily. so i dont even make an effort to rid them. because its hard to rid them, and i think taht being aware of how damaging they are is enough. whe nit fucking isnt. okay im drving myself into some kinda of fucking hole here im gonna go red some smut or something to distract myself.....well.... i mean.... crying and feeling really shitty doesnt sound too bad rn.... god i am such a ........there is something wrong with me that i choose to breakdown liek this. and in the back of my mind i awlwyas tell myself its for attentiuon. but its not. the "attention" im seeking for is just someone who would come and comfort me in a way i would enjoy. and also sometimes i drive myself into a mess as a weird way to validate my feelings of sadness and just...everything. if im crying, surely i must havei t bad right. but also once again im aware of taht. so i .......

okay im gonna just log off now. im soeey. that was a typo. im not looking at thescreen and i know taht was a typo. i font wanna fic it. nor do i want to fix either of those ones. im just gonna go now.. ywah.

[alternateanonymous]

5.18, 11:10,  Just another day in the life of me

What’s up. So honestly, I don’t even feel like writing right now but I am because I am trying to help encourage Stefan to jounral more. Haha. But yea, so we are doing pretty good. I honestly don’t remeber what my last post was but I know that it wasn’t anything very good. I think it was something that was pretty bad, but I just want to update you and tell you that everything is ok. We are doing really good. Like he is loving me really well and we are vibing really hard so that is really good. Of course he still has his issues but its ok because I am here to help him. Obviously I have another jounral that i write in but that shit is addressed to stefan so everything that i don’t want him to really see i write here. It’s not like I don’t want him seeing it, its more of a respect thing for myself. It was a good day today though. this morning I woke up and finished writing a giant law paper that I had to do, so that was good. I actually had a really good time writing it so that was good. I then took a shower and then went to a coffee meeting time with one of my teachers. Mr. Porto. She was really cool to talk with and I learned alot about her, it was honestly just nice to talk to her. I like talking to different people. Then after that me and muhsin went to get some food. Oh also, I’ve been having some crazy nose bleeds lately. it hasn’t been good Oh yesturday me and stefan fell asleep in his common room which wasn’t very good and unsolicited but it’s ok. I woke up and had the worst bloody nose Ive ever had. shit was flowing really badly like from both sides which wasn;t good. Today i felt just the slightest bit woosy beause i lost all that blood but also because i am eating like shit which is completly my fault. It’s ok. these things happen. but then we went to this k nutrition place which was good. Saw this girl that I haven’t seen in a while, her name is marissa jacobsen and is p cool. we had food and it was nice. muhsin’s kinda been getting on my nerves today just because hes being mad annoying. Mainly because i had my roomate meeting today and i didn’t really wanna talk about it cuz it was kinda annoying and i jusst didn’t really wanna deal with it and you know muhsin, he just like to talk in circles about the same shit in a really laughable and stupid way, that kinda just made me annoyed and like bro stfu but I didn’t which is fine lol. But yea, also he just gets under my skin which is annoying. But when these things happen, he doesn’t and instead i become really bitter and sarcastic and that gets under his skin. hahaha. off, it’s like that sibling dynamic for real lol. I had the roomate agreement thingy. it was really easy and lasted like 5 minutes but i literally held the whole conversation and made it really easy for everyone. My gremlin of a roomamte is leaving on my birthday which is in 3 days, so great birthday present, but also yayyyy. Hopefully i will never have to see that bitche ever again in my entire life lol. I basically said I am fine with not having any guests over, cuz it is what like a few more days until we get out of school. But since she is leaving even earlier then yayyyy i get the room to myselffff whooo hoooo. But yea, so she didn’t even say anything and I tried to be as accomodating and open as possible. maybe a little to kiss ass but at the end of the day i am just trying to save my ass. it is what it is. then after that, i hang out with muhsin working on a general outline foir my final film essay which me stefan and mushin all wanted to work on tonight which was good. Took like forever to actually get to the film. Muhsin wanted to find his room for next year so he wandered the damn halls and i sat with stefan. Then muhsin finally did show up but then we were hungry and ordered wings. so then we just continued to work on the outline while we waited. the food came and then we ate and finally watched the movie. the movie was really good it was an alfred hitchock film called vertigo and was pretty good. it was an old movie but had a very intresting plot. I’d honestly love to make another movie like it but kinda modernify it. I think it would be really good. I feel like the film encapsulated human emotion and perspection really well. Sometimes people gaslight themselves and do really stupid shit without realizing it and maybe they do btu just continue to do it because they can’t do anything else and are falling victim to their weakness. So yea. But then throuhgout the whole movie we were all talking and shit about the film, muhsin was getting on my nerve a little bit because me and stefan were working on an outline and basically said if muhsin wanted access to it he had to work on it. We gave him access and he didn’t do shit so i kicked him off the document and he was all crusty about that shit, but it was his fault lol. Also, he was trying to convince me to lie about who stefan wa if he was brought up in the roomamte agreement but honestly fuck that. Lying is never a good option, it just was flabbergasting to me because i think muhsin actually belived that what he was telling me was a good idea which was really stupid because it clearly wasn’t lol. sometimes i think this kid is retarted lol. muhsin and stefan are both more autistic than me because we took an autism quiz and they both got over double my score which was jfunny. anyway i’ll see you later, we are done texting loll, byeeeee. 11:27pm

[one-abuse-survivor]

possible ED anon, so i am still struggling with the food, but i've been able to get back into some foods i haven't eaten in forever. it still doesn't help that i rarely eat fruits or veggies.

some of the only plants i can eat are tomatoes, anything else i normally will not eat. everything my stupid brain wants to eat is bread or meat with the occasional sugar. i still dont want to mention it to anyone tho, cause i'm just too scared to. i have a feeling i might be underweight but idk if looking would be a good idea or not.

my family knows about my eating habits, i don't hide it at all, yet they haven't realized that it's probably an ED. since i've been picky as hell since i was a kid and the fact they're focusing on curing my sister of her ED.

i do feel bad for my mom cause she cooks everything in the house so making 3500 different meals a day must be hard, but i have no fucking clue how to cook so i can't help her.

i still can't believe how my dad would threaten to starve me if i didn't want to eat something but then tell me he didn't want me or my sister to ever experience going hungry. like wtf dude.

also pretty sure he has never threatened to starve my sister, but i would have to ask her to be sure. (just asked her, she said he has threatened to starve her but i don't remember it, i believe her though)

food is very weird for me for sure

i remember i do like eating but i kinda hate it at the same time, some foods are awesome and others are absolutely terrible and can't eat them. sometimes i don't eat and other times i eat 10 times a day.

i also believe people would often ask me why i always ate the same things. they'd say i should try more foods. they'd tell me i'm so picky and so spoiled and should be grateful for food when there are so many kids dying of hunger around the world, that it doesn't matter that i hate that food and can't eat it cause someone else has it worse right?

i remember being told picky people were spoiled brats, don't remember who told me that or if i heard that online but it doesn't matter, so one time i was talking to a girl i knew i'd never see again and i lied to her and said i wasn't picky at all cause i was embarrassed. (thinking about it i think she might have said that while talking about a relative of hers)

i get so nervous when going to new restaurants cause i don't know if they're going to have the right foods. i'm nervous when people say they want to cook for me cause idk what they're going to make.

and reheat food is either a hit or miss, i hate leftovers cause the texture tends to be off when we do it, but most of the time i can eat while others the texture is so fucked if i eat it i will die.

my mom does sometimes sound a little frustrated when i don't want to eat anything we have, and i feel bad, i really do, i don't want to be this way either. but i can't help it.

Hi, nonnie!

I think it’s okay to be scared of telling anyone what you’re going through. These things can be really hard to talk about, and I know I myself didn’t tell anyone about my mental health until I was an adult. I’m proud of you for just noticing the things you’re struggling with and contemplating the idea of reaching out to an adult, and I’m really sorry your family hasn’t realised you’re struggling. I hope you know it’s okay if the fact they’re too focused on your sister’s issue to see yours hurts or upsets you.

I also can’t believe your dad would say those things to you and your sister :( you should never have had to hear that. And you should also never have had to hear that you’re spoiled or that you should be grateful as a reaction to you always eating the same foods. The “other kids are starving” line is a very common guilt-trip, but that doesn’t make it okay. It’s just a way for adults to dismiss children’s needs and try to guilt them into being “easily manageable” on the table, but, at least in my opinion, all that’s usually accomplished is that the kids who hear it are more likely to develop guilt and other negative emotions around eating and around their needs regarding food. 

You deserved for people to listen to you about why you had trouble eating, nonnie. You deserved to be taken seriously. You were never ungrateful or spoiled. You were struggling, and the adults around you didn’t notice it and didn’t help meet your needs.

I think it’s understandable that your mom feels frustrated sometimes, because we’re all allowed to get frustrated by other people’s needs from time to time. But that doesn’t justify letting out that frustration onto the people with those needs. You’re already dealing with so much, and you really don’t deserve to have her frustration be a source of guilt on top of everything else. You’re not doing this on purpose, and you need help, not judgement.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

[waitimcomingtoo]

Dummy

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter is the only one of the Avengers who doesn’t tease you for being a little slow 

Masterlist

Now you weren’t exactly dumb.

You were just a little slow.

When you joined the Avengers last year, the team learned pretty quickly that your mind moved at a different pace than everyone else. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing and it didn’t keep you from doing your job, it just meant you were the butt of most of the jokes. Every time one of your blunders happened, your intelligence would be mocked in some way. You knew it was all in good fun, but it hurt to it feelings every now and then. The only person who never poked fun at you was Peter. And for that reason, he was your favorite on the team.

“How are there 23 minutes left in this movie and I still don’t know any of the characters names?” Steve wondered as you all sat in the couch in Stark Towers, watching a movie on a particularly rainy afternoon.

“I think the main kids name is Phoenix. That’s all I got though.” Sam shook his head, just as confused as Steve.

“The dogs name is Benson.” Bucky mumbled quietly.

“Who names their kid Phoenix?” Peter wondered out loud as he shoveled popcorn into his mouth. The two of you were tucked into the corner of the couch, sharing a blanket and bowl of popcorn. You looked at him like he was crazy when you heard his question.

“Ummm, Joaquin Phoenix’s parents.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. You turned your attention back to the movie as a silence settled in the room. You felt everyone’s eyes on you after a minute and looked around to see everyone staring at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“What?” You asked shyly, shrinking down a little in your seat in discomfort.

“That’s his last name.” Sam stated, chuckling a little under his breath. You realized your mistake and felt your face heat up.

“Oh.” You mumbled, your voice getting drowned out as the rest of the Avengers laughed at your expense.

“Did she really just say that?” Nat looked at the group with a playful smile. Everyone, excluding Peter, nodded as their laughter died down.

“Oh my God.” Steve chuckled. “That’s so stupid.”

There was that word again.

He didn’t mean it maliciously. Steve was the kinda of guy who ushered spiders into a magazine so he could let them outside. And yet, it still stung when he said that word.

Stupid.

You smiled sheepishly and tried to focus on the movie, snuggling closer to Peters side until it ended. You were fully aware that he was the only one who didn’t laugh, and you loved him that.

And maybe you loved him for a few other reasons too.

~

“Alright. Who has money for the subway?” Sam asked the group as he patted his empty pockets. You were on another late night trip to get cookies from a specific shop in Times Square, leaving without Tony’s knowledge. Everyones hands went to their pockets and collectively made a face.

“Not me.” Rhodey shrugged.

“I don’t have any.” Bruce added.

“I don’t even have pockets.” Nat realized.

“I have gum.” Peter proudly produced a silver wrapper from his pocket. “Oh wait, it’s just a wrapper.”

“You’re telling me we’re earth’s mightiest heroes and we’re broke?” Sam shook his head is disdain.

“I gave my last dollar to a guy in the subway for playing music.” Peter defended himself.

“What was he playing?” You asked him as you tiredly leaned against his arm.

“A mandolin.” Peter answered, making your face scrunch up.

“That’s a language.” You laughed at him slightly, feeling empowered by having the upper hand. Everyone looked at you and a few of them snorted.

“Mandarin is a language.” Bruce said gently, not wanting to embarrass you further. “Not mandolin.” 

“What?” You blinked in confusion and looked to Peter for answers.

“A mandolin is an instrument, dummy.” Sam chortled. You smiled tightly as the group laughed at your mistake, looking down to hide your blush.

“Oh. Sorry. My bad.” You laughed shyly as you tucked your hair behind your ear and pretending to read a nearby sign.

“That’s okay.” Peter spoke up in your defense. “They sound really similar. Plus like, French, French Horn. Who knows what’s going on?”

“Yeah.” Bucky said softly. “Or like, bra’s aren’t pointy anymore.”

Bruce nodded like it made perfect sense and Sam just shook his head as he texted.

“What?” You whispered to Peter, not knowing what he meant.

“He’s from the 1920s. He’s still adjusting.” Peter whispered to you out of the corner of his mouth before looking at Bucky. “That’s the spirit. Kind of.”

“FRIDAY is sending a car.” Sam informed the group. “This is never happening again. The cookies aren’t that good.”

“They’re pretty good.” Rhodey shrugged, but wanting the late Nate tradition to end. Sam looked at him for a moment before breaking into a smile.

“Hell yeah they are. Let’s do this again tomorrow.”

~

Bruce found you in the lab the next day with a pin between your teeth and a pencil behind your ear. Papers with drawings of suits were scattered around the table as you measured a piece of black fabric.

“What are you doing?” Bruce wondered as he took a seat across from you. You glanced up at him before marking a dot on the fabric.

“Mr. Stark asked me to help him with the new suits. I’m trying to make a fabric template for Nat’s gloves.” You told him as you smoothed the fabric out.

“Is it hard?” He asked, watching you intently as you worked.

“Not really.” You shrugged and took a step back to examine your work. “Okay. How many holes do we need? 1,2,3,4,5.” You counted your fingers. “Okay. Five holes.”

You sat back down and put five dots where her fingers would be to mark where you had to cut. You heard a slight chuckle from Bruce and looked up at him curiously.

“Did you just count your fingers?” He asked slowly, wanting to make sure he saw what he thought he had. “To know how many fingers Nat has?”

Your face burned when you realized how dumb you looked, in front of a scientific genius no less.

“Oh, Uh, yeah.” You stammered, feeling very insecure with him watching you now. You moved slower than before and second guessed moves you’d already made a hundred times. Bruce sensed your discomfort and got out of his seat, tapping the table twice as he thought.

“Have you ever heard the expression “the lights are on but nobody’s home’?” He asked you and you were grateful he changed the subject.

“Yeah, I think I have.” You smiled, proud of yourself for knowing something.

“It reminds me of you.” Bruce said so politely that you didn’t realize it was an insult at first. He left the lab to find Tony, leaving you feeling embarrassed and a little hurt. Everyone knew Bruce could hurt you ten times worse with his words than the Hulk could with his fists, you’d just never been his target before. You slumped down in your seat and continued making the gloves, your mood significantly dampened from before he came in the room.

~

You walked into the kitchen the next morning, sleepily rubbing your eyes. You pressed a chaste kiss on Peters shoulder as you passed him, also more affectionate to your best friend when you were half asleep. You smiled at Rhodey, who was seated at the bar and skimming through a newspaper.

“Did you eat yet?” You asked him through a yawn as you got out yogurt and fruit for yourself.

“No. I needed my coffee first.” He smiled sleepily at you and held up his mug.

“Oh, you mean your sugar with a spoonful of coffee?” You teased him. “Yeah, it’s good you got that out of the way.”

“I prefer it this way. The sugar wakes me up.” Peter defended his drink as he took a sip.

“That’s what the caffeine is supposed to do, mi amor.” You laughed as you ruffled his bed head ridden hair. He was about to make a comeback when his stomach rumbles loudly.

“Someone’s hungry.” You remarked. “Do you want eggs?”

“No thanks.” Peter shook his head. “I can’t eat eggs alone.”

“Well I’m here. And Rhodey’s right there, so you’re not alone.” You told him. “And I can grab Steve and Bucky. They’re just in the other room.”

Rhodey looked up from his newspaper with raised eyebrows and looked at Peter. Peter set his mug down and made a face at Rhodey that told him not to say anything. You looked between the two of them in confusion as you wondered what was going on.

“I meant alone as in without toast, sweetness.” Peter said gently, not wanting you to feel dumb for misunderstanding. “But I am glad you’re here.”

“Oh.” You faked a smile and shrugged like it was no big deal. Peter had handled the situation with ease and you didn’t feel as embarrassed as you normally would. That is until…

“You know, Y/n, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.” Rhodey nodded before going back to his newspaper. You froze with your spoonful of yogurt midway to your mouth and looked at him. He didn’t actually call you dumb, but it was implied. You looked at Peter to see if he was thinking the same thing, but his face had nothing but kindness on it.

“You are pretty.” He agreed with Rhodey. “But you’re a lot of other things too.”

You cracked a smile and rubbed his back for a moment in appreciation.

“Thanks Peter.” You said softly and went back to your breakfast. Not wanting to worry him, you ignored the way Rhodey’s comment made you feel and tried to push it from your mind. But no hard you tried to focus on other things, you had one thought prodding at the back of your head.

You were dumb.

~

A week went by without anyone poking fun at your intelligence. You had a sneaking suspicion Peter had something to do with the lack of comments, but you said nothing. It was nice to have a break from all the teasing and it made hanging out with the team more enjoyable. You all lingered around the kitchen one day, eating all different kinds of lunch when Tony came in the room.

“Eat up, funky bunch.” He clapped his hands. “We have a mission in Alaska to train for and I need all hands on deck. Cap, do you think you can teach Peter that spinny thingy you do?”

“I can try.” Steve looked at Peter and nodded.

“Great. I’m getting a manicure. I’ll be back around noon.” Tony informed you all.

“Wait, I thought you said all hands on deck.” You tilted your head at him.

“I did. Which I why I have to make sure my hands look the best.” Tony waved flirtatiously, wiggling his fingers around like a teenage girl. He smirked as his action was met with some eye rolls and a few chuckles before leaving the room.

“I can’t believe we’re going to Alaska.” Peter nudged you excitedly and you smiled with glee.

“Is Alaska the same as the North Pole? Or am I thinking of Antarctica?” Sam wondered out loud.

“No. The North Pole is all the way at the top. Alaska is below California. Like by Texas.” You said confidently, proud that you knew information that someone else didn’t. Your pride quickly dissipated when you saw the teams faces twist in amusement.

“Wait a minute.” Steve looked at you like you were joking. You shrugged, letting him know you weren’t. Sam burst out laughing and clapped his hands as the rest of the team began to laugh.

“Absolutely not.” Sam grinned as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“Yes it is.” You insisted. “Look at any US map. It’s on the bottom by Hawaii.”

You were getting angry now. You knew you were right this time and they were still teasing you.

“No.” Bucky shook his head is dismissal. “No.”

“Alaska is below California on every map I’ve ever seen. You’re telling me I’m wrong?” You our your hand on your hip and stared at them.

“100%. I am 100% telling you you’re wrong.” Sam said between his laughter. Peter came to your side and showed you a picture of a map on his phone.

“Alaska is US territory but it’s not connected to the rest of the states. They just put it below California on maps to show it’s a part of the US. Thats not actually where it’s located.” He said quietly. You looked at the map for a few seconds before you realized he was right. And if he was right…

You were wrong.

“Oh.” You smiled apologetically and averted your eyes. “Oops.”

You turned around and pretending to clean up the kitchen to hide your searing blush. Your fingers clenched around your sponge when you heard the teasing laughter from behind you.

“Sometimes I wonder how you made it out of high school.” Steve joked as he threw out the crusts of his sandwich. The comment stung you and you began to scrub the counter faster so you could leave the room sooner. Peter could see your shoulders tense and put a reassuring hand on your back. You gave him a tight lipped smiled before putting your dish in the sink.

“I’m still wondering how she made it out of first grade.” Nat teased you and she poked your side.

“I can’t believe she made it out of the womb in the first place with nobody telling her where to go.” Sam said, making everyone laugh loudly. You abruptly threw a dish in the sink, making everyone go silent. You tuned around slowly and faked a smile.

“Haha. Yeah.” You forced a laugh. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

You swiftly left the room before anyone could catch your tears. You felt stupid for even getting upset over it, but their words hurt. Feeling like you were always the dumbest person in the room was taking a toll on you, especially when you weren’t the only one who felt that way. Peter watched you leave with sympathetic eyes, feeling his own frustration bubble at the sound of the team laughing at you. He thought they had listened the first time he told them to stop making fun of you, but they clearly hadn’t. After seeing the pained look on your face, Peter made a decision.

It was never going to happen again.

~

“Ugh. I’m never gonna get this right.” Peter groaned as he messed up the move Steve was trying to teach him once again.

“You’re getting too much inside your head. Just let it happen naturally.” Steve instructed as he resumed his stance. Peter tried the move again, wiping out and landing on his side with a thud. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as you spared with Nat.

“I can’t.” Peter got up and rubbed his arm. “I can’t do it.”

Steve nodded, like he was accepting Peters defeat. You stopped sparing and looked at Peter.

“Yes you can. Come on, Peter.” You encouraged him. “Everyone told Van Gogh that he couldn’t be an artist because he only had one ear but he did it anyway.”

The room feel silent, as it often did when you spoke, and everyone looked down.

“Oh dear Lord.” Rhodey sighed and hung his head and he snickered. You could see everyone else fighting back laughter or cracking a smile, yet saying nothing.

“What?” You crossed your arms in annoyance, looming to Peter for help.

“He chopped his ear off after becoming an artist.” Peter said kindly. “He wasn’t born without one.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but Tony beat you to it.

“Speaking of ears, do you think of you shone a light in one of Y/n’s ears, it would come out the other ear?” Tony quipped, making everyone laugh. The tips of your ears burned as that feeling of stupidity sunk in again. You undid the Velcro on your boxing gloves and pretended to wipe sweat from your face as you rushed to the bin where the gloves went. You kept your back to the group and pretending to be putting your gloves away when you were really concealing your pained expression.

“Yes.” Nat jeered. “Yes I do.”

Your shoulders slumped with exhaustion as you turned around, making every effort to keep your face neutral. Your face didn’t give away any signs of sadness, but your knuckles turning white from how hard you were gripping the bin gave your true feelings away. Peter noticed this and felt his jaw clench. If you weren’t gonna tell them to stop, he was.

“Leave her alone, guys.” He commanded the crowd before looking at you. “Thanks for the encouragement, Y/n. I’m gonna keep trying.”

“It’s fine.” You nodded curtly. “I’m gonna hit the showers. I’ll see you guys at dinner.”

You walked out of the gym, pausing in place when you heard Sams voice.

“Hit the showers?” He laughed. “We just started.”

“Shhh. Don’t confuse the poor girl any further.” Bruce joked back. You looked back at the gym with your eyebrows knit together, taking a quiet step closer to hear what they were saying about you without you there.

“She’s probably like, ‘whats this magic closet that makes rain?’” Rhodey imitated your voice, making you sound as dense as possible.

“Knock it off guys. It’s not funny.” Peter snapped, but the teasing continued.

“Or like, ‘this shampoo says it adds volume, but I used it and I can’t hear any louder than before’.” Tony mocked you, skipping around a little like a child. Your face contorted in misery as they made fun of you. You knew who they really were, and they were good people. They didn’t intend to hurt your feelings, they were only joking around like they did with everyone. Steve was teased all the time for his old fashioned dialect and no one lets Tony live down the kimono incident. Still, all their insults and mockery cut you like a knife.

“Ahh, I love that girl.” Nat shook her head with a smile. “She’s so dumb.”

“She may be slow, but she’s entertaining as hell.” Sam nodded in agreement.

“I said knock it off.” Peter repeated, getting a reaction this time.

“Aw. Peters mad because we’re teasing his girlfriend.” Nat pouted and pinched Peters cheek. She quickly realized how wholesome she was being and punched Bucky in the face to maintain her lethal assassin persona.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter grumbled. Now that you were out of the room, he was the next target.

“He’s right. Hey, maybe that’s why you guys haven’t gotten together yet.” Rhodey shrugged. “She’s too stupid to realize you’re in love with her.”

That was all you had to hear. You ran towards your with tears running down your face. Thanks to Peters advanced heating, he heard every heavy footstep.

“Okay. Maybe she is a little slow.” Peter shook his head in disdain at the team. “But you guys are idiots.”

~

You were quiet the entire way to Alaska, keeping to yourself and silently looking out the window. Peter attempted to talk to you once or twice, but he could tell you wanted to be alone. The Avengers completed the mission within a few hours with minor damage to the area. Peter focused on his job but found himself looking for you every now and then, being as you usually stayed together during missions. He didn’t see you anywhere and assumed you were doing your own thing on the other side of the field. He heart rest assured when he saw you boarding the jet, still looking reserved and aloof from the rest of the team. You took a seat by the window and rested your chin on your hand, looking out at the bleak landscape in front of you as the jet took off. Peter didn’t engage in small talk with the rest of the team and wistfully stared at you instead, silently willing you to cheer up.

“I think that went pretty well.” Rhodey nodded and the team agreed. “But where were you the whole time, Y/n? Picking daisies?”

Peter held his breath as you slowly turned around. You gave Rhodey a frigid smile and shook your head.

“We came during a blizzard so I used my powers to create a heated force field around the area we were in to prevent frostbite and give you guys and easier time seeing in the snow. We were also at a higher altitude than any of us are used to so I kept the air pressure to sea level standard.” You said simply. “And I assumed there would be smoke from the battle so I rounded up the nearby animals and made a separate for field around them to protect their lungs.”

The room went silent, something you were used to at this point. But instead of everyone falling silent because they were laughing at you, they were impressed.

“Oh.” Rhodey blinked in surprise, not expecting the answer he was given.

“I also picked this flower.” You smiled proudly as you produced a Forget Me Not from your lap. Peter couldn’t keep the grin from breaking through on his face. You were the center of attention once again, but in a good way this time. Everyone was pleasantly surprised with what you had done and it showed.

“I didn’t think about the altitude.” Nat realized.

“I had no idea there was a blizzard.” Steve added, looking dumbfounded.

“Because I kept you from knowing.” You shrugged. “I wanted you guys to focus on the mission.”

“I mean, I knew. I just didn’t tell you guys because I was so distracted by my buffed and polished nails.” Tony twiddled his fingers again, showing off his freshly manicured nails. You all laughed, breaking the tension in the jet.

“Well look at that.” Sam looked impressed. “Y/n knew something we didn’t.”

It was almost a compliment, but it still made you feel insecure. You didn’t want it to be this mind boggling every time you did something useful.

“Thanks, Y/n. That was really smart.” Peter said softly as he patted your knee. You put your hand over his and squeezed it. It was the first time someone called your smart, and it made you feel good.

“It was really smart.” Sam said skeptically. He stared at you for a moment before poking your side.

“What are you doing?” You swatted his hand away.

“Just making sure you’re still in there.” He eyed you suspiciously. Peter could sense the attention was making you uncomfortable and changed the subject.

“Are we almost home?” He asked Tony before peering out the window. The flight was a little over 7 hours on a normal plane, but the Stark jet was much quicker. The flight would only take a few hours, but Peter was not known for being patient.

“Yes, Peter. We are almost back at the tower. You can get your diaper changed and your bottle as soon as we get back.” Tony sassed him, making him shrink in his seat. Your body language had completely changed and your were now sitting straight, facing the group. Peter was glad you were feeling better and didn’t even mind Tony’s comment.

“Guys, let’s be civil. We’re all tired. We all want to get home.” You said calmly. “Let’s just focus on how pretty the sky looks tonight. Isn’t is pretty, Peter?”

He gazed at your profile as you looked out the window at the stars, admiring how pretty you looked from the side.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.” He conceded without ever taking his eyes off you. You shot him a smile before looking straight ahead at the dashboard.

“Wow, the moon is huge!” You pointed time a large yellow crescent that could be seen through the window.

“That’s literally the reflection of my banana on the windshield.” Tony deadpanned. He may have been right, but it still looked pretty.

“Should we make a wish?” You asked Peter, ignoring Tony’s comment.

“On the banana?” He asked.

“Yes.” You nodded. “On the banana.”

“Why?” Rhodey asked. “It’s not like people wish on the moon.”

“It feels like we should.” You said with confidence.

“Yep. She’s still in there.” Sam chuckled. And just like that, your confidence receded.

“I hate it here.” Bucky sighed heavily and tuned out of the conversation.

“It must be so peaceful being you, Y/n.” Tony remarked.

“Why do you say that?” You wondered.

“Because instead of thinking about your problems and mistrials, you simply don’t think at all.” Tony said suavely. In only a better for minutes, you’d gone from being the hero to the laughing stock of the group. The sly comments and taunting laughter made you feel like you should stop opening your mouth entirely. You faked a smile and turned back towards the window, tuning out the rest of the way home. Peter chewed his lip as he stared at you, feeling useless to helping you out. The team just wouldn’t let up, no matter how many times he told them to stop. Knowing you weren’t in the mood to talk, he scooted closer to you and put a comforting hand on your back. You smiled warmly at him and rested your head on his shoulder, listening to him point out the constellations the whole way home.

~

The next day, you and Peter were sitting in the balcony, working on some new gadgets for Mr. Stark when Peter made a startling discovery.

“Where’s my right web shooter?” Peter stood up in a panic when he realized it was missing. “I left it right here.”

“Maybe a bird carried it off.” You shrugged as you twisted a tiny screw into Peters left web shooter.

“I’m being serious, Y/n.” Peter stated. “Mr. Stark is going to kill me and turn me into a decorative rug if I lost it.”

“I’m being serious too. We live in New York and I see birds around here all the time.” You told him as you continued your work. “And you know the pigeons here are feral. A bird probably stole it to pay for his child support.”

Peter usually entertained your antics and joined in with his own batch of sarcasm, but he wasn’t in the mood. His web shooter was missing and their were actual stakes involved. Without his web shooter, he couldn’t be Spiderman. And without Spider-Man, he couldn’t be an Avenger.

“Can you be serious for once?“ Peter whined, picking up everything on the table to look under it.

“I’m just saying it’s possible, Peter. You never know.” You insisted as you put your screw driver down to help him look. You began looking in the flower pots on the windowsill that you and Peter had planted. Peter stopped his search for a moment, growing angry with you for wasting time. He didn’t know if you were joking around or genuine believed his web shooter was in the flower pots, but it made him frustrated nonetheless. A combination of his lack of sleep and stress over losing the webshooter manifested into a moment of unchecked rage.

“No, it’s not possible.” He snapped. “A bird didn’t steal my web shooter. God, do you have to be so stupid?” 

 The word hung in the air for a moment, settling in to the both of you. Peters eyes immediately softened, feeling instant regret for what he had said. You stopped trifling through the plants and slowly turned around.

“What?” You asked quietly. Peter tightened his lips into a line and tried to justify what he had said.

“I try to defend you but you make it so hard. Can you help me out a little here and not be so…” He trailed off when he realized he had only made it worse. Your face hardened and you looked disappointed in Peter, which killed him. He would have preferred anger or even sadness, but the disappointment killed him.

“So what?” You shrugged. “Finish your sentence Peter.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“No, really, go ahead.” You stated coldly. “You got this far. So what, Peter?”

He looked at you for a moment, getting that feeling of wishing you could turn back time just a few seconds to fix a mistake.

“So dumb all the time.” He finished his sentence with an unsteady voice. Your face scrunched up in a pained expression as you sucked in and let out a shaky breath.

“You were the only one who never called me that.” You whimpered before moving past him and going inside. Peter watched you through the open balcony doors as you disappeared into the hallway with a heavy heart. His mouth was open to apologize, but you were long gone. He’d seen you being ridiculed so many times already, and now he was the one doing it. All that talk about it never happening again, only for him to be the reason it happened. Peter couldn’t live with himself for another minute without you knowing how sorry he was. He took a step towards the doorway until he heard a pigeon land on the table. He watched it curiously for a moment as it pecked at the screwdriver you had been using before picking it up with its beak. It flew over to the edge and began to walk along the railing, still keeping the screwdriver in his mouth. Peter followed the pigeon, walking all the way down the balcony to find a large nest in the corner. He watched as it dropped the screwdriver into its nest, right next to his web shooter.

“Holy shit. A bird stole my web shooter.” Peter said in disbelief. Peter watched as baby pigeons poked out from inside the web shooter to greet the other pigeon.

“Holy shit. A bird stole my web shooter for his kids.” Peters eyes widened even more than they already were. Realized struck him and his shoulders slumped.

“She was right.” He mumbled, angry at himself more than ever. “I yelled at her and she was right.”

Peter wasted no time in rescuing his web shooter from the birds, offering them a nice biodegradable coffee cup in its place, and ran to the kitchen to make you a peace offering. He knocked softly on your door and didn’t wait for an answer before going in.

“I made you this cup of tea as an apology.” Peter stiffly held out a mug with an awkward smile on his face. You looked at Peter from your bed, eyes puffy like you had been crying. You stared at each other for a long time, you with a death glare and Peter with his awkward smile. Neither of you said a word as Peter continued to hold out the mug. After two full minute of silence, a bead of sweat ran down Peters face as he looked around nervously, never breaking his smile. You let out an angry sigh and decided to throw him a bone, crossing the room to accept his mug. You looked into the cup for a moment before looking back at Peter.

“This is empty.” You deadpanned.

“I don’t know how to make tea.” Peter whispered, never breaking eye contact.

“I’ve seen you make it.” You snapped.

“I forgot how to do it.” Peters eyes shifted nervously to the side.

“Bucky was in the kitchen, wasn’t he?”

“I know he hates me.” Peter talked over you as you groaned. “I know he does.”

“Just go away.” You tried to close the door but he kept it open.

“No.” Peter said firmly. “I came in here to apologize.”

“You see this?” You held up the mug for a Peter to see. “It’s my cup of care. And look at that” ,you dumped the cup over, “it’s empty.”

Peter stared at your demonstration with raised eyebrows, surprised that you were still able to be sarcastic when he hurt you. Peter took the mug from your hands and set it on the ground before slowly looking up at your face.

“You’re not stupid.” He said softly with all the sincerity his heart could give. You scoffed and folded your arms, looking to the side when you felt tears sting your eyes.

“Yes I am.” You said like you fully believed it, which was Peters worse fear. “Everyone says so. Even you.”

It hit Peter like a sheet of glass when you looked at him like that.

Like he was someone you didn’t want around.

“I didn’t mean to say that.” Peter apologized. “That is not how I feel. At all.”

“Don’t act like you’ve never thought about saying that before.” You laughed sadly. “Everyone on the team calls me dumb. It was only a matter of time before you did it too.”

“I didn’t mean it.” Peter repeated. “I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“Bullshit.” You snapped. “You’re so full of bullshit.”

“I’m not full of bullshit.” He whined like a child and gave you puppy dog eyes. “I’m full of regret.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek as he gave you his best pout, willing you to forgive him. Finally, you caved and cracked a smile.

“I hate you.” You stamped your foot and hung your head, frustrated with yourself for not being able to stay mad at him. Peter opened his arms and you walked into them, arms still folded angrily. You bumped your forehead against his shoulder before moving to rest your chin on it as he wrapped his arms around you. Peter nestled against your hair and sighed, happy that you had forgiven him but still saddened that he had hurt you in the first place. He could see the pile of used tissues on your bed and it killed him to know he made you cry.

“I didn’t mean to call you that. I really didn’t.” He said softly. “I’m the one who’s been trying to stop people from saying that.”

“But they still do it.” You sniffled. “Everyday I get called dumb or stupid or scalene.”

“I think it’s obtuse, not scalene.” Peter reluctantly corrected you. You pulled away and little and let Peter wipe the tears from your face.

“Maybe they’re right.” You shrugged and looked Peter in the eyes. “Maybe I am dumb.”

Peter kept your face between his hands, staring at you for a moment before sighing.

“I once sneezed so many times in a row that I peed my pants.” Peter deadpanned. “I was 17.”

“What?” You chuckled as you wiped your nose.

“I saw Bucky try to take a piece of toast out of the toaster with his metal arm and electrocute himself.” He continued. “And I constantly see Tony bumping into glass doors.”

“I don’t understand.” You squinted your eyes, but sure what point he was trying to make.

“Steve still picks up the phone and asks for the operator. Nat leaves her curling iron plugged in all the time. I do not think Sam knows the address of where we live and I’m pretty sure Rhodey can’t do laundry. He gets all his stuff dry cleaned, even his socks.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You asked.

“Because were all dumb.” Peter concluded. “We all do and say dumb things. You don’t know where Alaska is and no one in this tower can read analog clocks. If we’re all dumb, then maybe none of us are dumb. Or we all are. Who cares?” Peter shrugged, making you laugh. “And you were right. A bird did carry off my web shooter. So no, you’re no dumb. Or stupid. Or obtuse. You’re, uh, you- you…” Peter looked down at he fumbled over his words.

“I’m what?” You raised an eyebrow. You could finish his sentence last time, but this time you were lost.

“You’re…” Peter tampered off again, staring at your confused expression for a moment before pulling you into a kiss. Your hands clenched into a fist and slowly uncurled as you relaxed into the kiss. Peter pulled away too soon and let his eyes flutter open. They met yours and you shared a moment of hesitation, not knowing what happened rest next.

“I’m gonna be honest lovey, I didn’t really have an ending to that sentence.” Peter chris joes softly, his breath fanning your face. “That was mainly improv.”

“You’re pretty good at improv, Parker.” You cracked a smile and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I did a little bit of theater in high school.” He shrugged smugly, making you giggle.

“Mmm. I severely don’t want to hear about that.” You teased before kissing him again.

“Oh, I think you do.” Peter remarked. “Because I once went to the bathroom during intermission with my mic still on and the entire audience heard me peeing.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed. “You’re so stupid.”

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @foreverxholland @damnyoudameron @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @spideygirl2003 @the-crazy-fanfictionist @maryjanee23  @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @jillanaholland @unbelievableholland @rebekkah4766 @flixndchill @sovereignparker @wendaiii @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @where-art-thau-romeo @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @parkerboop @smilexcaptainx @hes-amarillo @quaksonhehe @kelieah @silteplaittais-toi @kickingn-ames @purefluff @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @lou-la-lou @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @ohnothezombies @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl​ @anapocalypseinmymind @quacksonfics @marshxx @heyheycharlatte​ @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @buckybigbutt @cookiemonstermusic258 @awesomebooklover17

[xoxo-teddybear]

Adorable - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Cursing, slice of life, Bakugou kinda ooc but still lovable

Summary: Honestly it’s just some scenarios of Bakugou and Y/N being an adorable couple. It’s also just some moments in their lives as a couple

“Annnddd....done!” You squealed as you got your setup ready. You were currently setting up a cupcake tower on a table after you spent days baking. UA needed some funds so they set up a little event to raise money. Students could either participate in raising money or giving money and Y/N chose to do a little cupcake sale to help out. What a sweetheart.

“It looks amazing Y/N,” Mina said as she tried to grab a cupcake. You smacked her hand away before she snatched one. “Ow!”

“Those aren’t free Mina, they’re important too.” You explained as you picked up a stack of flyers to pass out.

“I know they’re important! They’re gonna save my life! I didn’t get to eat breakfast and I’m starvingggg.” You laughed at your best friend before you took a few steps away from your table to pass out the papers.

“Well unless you pay for it, you can’t have it. Besides, I put a lot of work into them. I spent a week in the kitchen and I just spent 4 hours setting up the table. Cant let them go to waste and just give ‘em for free.” you said as you gave away the flyers.

What you didn’t realize was that behind you at your table, Bakugou and Kirishima had stumbled upon your cupcake table and silently went in to grab one. Unfortunately, they weren’t the most graceful and tipped over your entire setup. They looked at each other in shock and quickly scrambled to fix their mistake as you were distracted. The boys picked up the table and quickly went to gather the cakes.

“I put a lot of time into them. There’s sugar free, dairy free-“

“Do you have any that are just free free? I’m really hungry.” Mina whined and you gave in.

“Fine, I’ll let you have a cupcake if you help me with the sale. You can make sure the table stays neat and tidy!” you bargained to which Mina agreed. However, as you said that, Bakugou had tipped the table again after he bumped into it while picking up cupcakes and Kirishima gave him a look that screamed ‘duuudeee seriously?!’ As he was on his knees picking up the sweets.

“Hey, maybe we can get Bakugou and Kirishima to help us too!” Mina offered.

“Ehh, I don’t know. They’d probably just want to eat everything,” you warned as you hung up one flyer.

“I doubt they’d put food in their mouths if it meant helping the school.” She tried to defend them but behind your backs, the boys panicked when they didn’t know what to do and just stuffed the cakes in their mouths. They left evidence all over their hands and face.

“Well, let’s get this bake sale started!” You said and when you both turned around to face your table, you saw it on the ground along with a few cupcakes. The rest of them were in the hands and mouths of Kirishima and Bakugou as you both watched them continue to chow down on the desserts. Once they noticed you guys staring they froze, dropped the cupcakes, pointed towards each other, and spoke with full mouths at the same time.

“.....he did it.” They both said with frosting and cake all in their hands, mouths, and faces.

—

Here’s the situation. Y/N has been directed to keep a low profile due to her being targeted by a few villains. She wasn’t down for that especially since her and Bakugou were a duo. She knew Bakugou could handle himself but it made her feel better knowing they were both looking out for each other on the field. And so, to keep fighting by his side, she went under an Alias hero name, Blaze, and gave herself a new look for the time being. She wore a very subtle and natural wig, different makeup, and wore a bandana mask that covered half her face.

Bakugou of course knew who she was, along with the rest of the former students in 1-A, but they went along with it so that Y/N can continue to fight. Unfortunately, “Blaze,” grew popular as people began to notice Bakugou’s “new” hero partner and eventually, the duo got an interview that wanted an inside scoop on all things Blaze. So here we are at that interview.

“You know Dynamight, I think I like this new partner better than H/N,” the interviewer said. Bakugou and the rest of 1-A grew a shocked and fearful look on their faces once those words left the poor man’s mouth.

“Excuse me?” Y/N aka Blaze said.

“Well, Blaze, I think you just have this special something that H/N never had. And, I think you’re more talented than her.” Ironic since the man is speaking to the same girl just with a different name. Once he said that though, the former students all grew shocked faces that were the embodiment of “😧😯” as they awaited for Y/N’s reply.

“Heh...what?” Y/N laughed trying to play it off and not be detected, “H/N is brilliant. You have no idea what you are talking about,” Y/N said with a slight smile but 100% attitude. Bakugou looked at his girlfriend with hesistant eyes as he was worried she would kill the man.

“I think I do,” the man started, “see, you just bring this fresh new look for Dynamight that H/N never brought.”

Bakugou was pissed this man was talking about his Y/N like that but he was in the eye of the public and had to keep a cool cover and so he quickly jumped to try and save this interviewer from Y/N’s wrath.

“H/N was also fresh! Heh..some might even say that H/N and Blaze have the same amount of ..fre-freshness.” Bakugou tried to counter but the man kept going.

“Well in my opinion, Y/N L/N wasnt an impactful or important part of your success at all. She was overrated.” And Bakugou’s face grew worried and shocked as his head snapped towards Y/N to gaze her reaction.

“Huh! What do you know?! You don’t fight villains or save lives!” Y/N aka Blaze said as she stood from her seat and walked towards the man. “You just sit there with your over-gelled, swoopy hair as you read and ask stupid questions off of stupid cards!” She said and took the cards out of his hands and threw them at the man.

Bakugou was quick to stand and try to take the attention away from the scene. “Hey uh..my-my team will be coming out with new Dynamight merch so stay tuned for that!..heh...”

“And another thing,” Y/N said as her intense stare never left the interviewer’s. “H/N has worked too hard to be treated with such disrespect! Am I right everyone?!” She asked the crowd in the audience as they all cheered in agreement.

“See this is what I’m talking about!” The man said as he stood up with you and Katsuki. “This is that exact fire that Y/N lacks!”

“Oh I’ll show you fire!” You said as you went to jump the man but before you got a chance Bakugou was quick to grab you and throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He turned to the man and apologized and created a casual conversation as you hung from his shoulders, fist-pumping with the crowd as they cheered on your alias name.

“Goodnight everyone!” Bakugou screamed as he ran off with you and out of the building. He took you home and you both had to take a breather from the insane night.

—

“Baby?” Bakugou screamed into your dorm room as he couldn’t find you. He just got back from a training session in the forest with Aizawa and had been looking for you all day. He just wants to see his teddy bear.

“Baby?” Checked the common rooms..nothing.

“Babyyy?” Checked the kitchens...nope.

“Y/N?” Checked the school..not here either.

“Teddy Bear?” Checked the gym..you already know. Bakugou got tired and went to the rooftop.

“TEDDY BEAARRRRRRRR!!!!” He screamed to the world. He still got nothing but then he heard feet running up the stairs and the door bust open. He turned in hopes of it being his loving girlfriend but instead he saw his 4 friends.

“BAKUGOU! SHUT UP!” They all screamed at him.

“Oh shut up idiots! I’m trying to find my girlfriend here!” Bakugou said and as he was getting ready to yell again, the Bakusquad shut him up and dragged him to his dorm room.

“Did you check there?!” Mina asked and she and the rest of the squad walked away. Bakugou walked in and saw you peacefully sleeping in his bed and out of nowhere his annoyed thoughts all left him as he smiled at your slumbering state. He took off his bags and shoes as he jumped into bed with you and smothered your face in quick kisses.

You finally woke up to the ticklish feeling of your loving boyfriend and giggled as he assaulted you with his love. “Hey baby, what’s up?”

“I’ve been looking for you Princess,” Bakugou said as his lips were on your cheek. His face was smooshed into yours as he inhaled your sweet scent. He loved it here.

“You need something, love?” You asked as you turned to face him. You watched as Bakugou just nodded his head and poked his lips out. Yes. Bakugou Katsuki did all that searching and yelling for a single peck on the lips from you. It was all he craved for and he was gonna get it. You smiled as you rolled your eyes and gave in. The sweet peck was enough to make Bakugou combust as he sighed in satisfaction and flopped onto his bed, bringing you down with you him.

“Thank you!” He said with shut eyes and a contempt smile.

“Sure babe, anytime,” you said as you cuddled into him and drifted back off to sleep. Katsuki following you, dreaming about giving you even more kisses.

—

Y/N had been meditating. Due to her quirk, it was good that she’d get some R&R during these peaceful and quiet states. Until her boyfriend walked in. Bakugou Katsuki, who is very much the opposite of peaceful and quiet.

“Baby?” He asked. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He said with a pretty chirpy attitude and a small smile.

“Go away,” you smiled sweetly at him for a second before turning back around.

“THAT’S JUST MEAN!”

—

A/N: idk I thought this was cute :/

[eternalsimp]

Cursed Fears (pt 3)

Genre: Hurt/comfort, smut

Word Count: 5117

Warnings: NSFW 18+, aged up Megumi, swearing, use of female pronouns and anatomy, very jealous Megumi, rough sex, praise kink, overstimulation, slight orgasm denial, some degradation, spanking if you squint, oral sex (m. receiving), marking. Minors DNI.

Author Note: This is the final (?) part of a JJK mini-series I did but it can be read as a stand-alone. Parts 1 & 2 are up on my blog (IDK how to make links)

You were pulled from sleep with the sound of your phone vibrating on the bedside table next to you. You crack your eyes open to take in your surroundings for a minute and try to ignore the insistent buzzing of your phone. Mid Morning sunlight is streaming through the open window, casting a blanket of warmth in the otherwise cold room. Megumi's divine dog has moved off the bed and is laying under the window where it can’t be disturbed by the light. Megumi has his face buried in your neck, arms still wrapped tightly around your torso, and you can feel his warm breath fan out against your skin.

Your phone starts to ring again and you carefully move to grab it, trying not to disturb your sleeping boyfriend. You turn it to see Nobara’s name and picture displayed across your screen and debate sending her to voicemail. You decide against it, knowing she would just call you again.

“Hello?” You stifle a yawn and hear Megumi grumble incoherently behind you.

“Y/n! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning! Are you avoiding us?” You pull the phone away from your ear to try and escape her scolding. You turn your attention to the clock on the bedside table showing that it was a little after 10 am.

“I was sleeping, I’m not avoiding you, psycho. And who is us?”

“Oh yeah, Itadori and I are hanging out. We are actually pretty close to where you and Fushiguro live which is why I was calling. Wait, didn’t you have class this morning?”

“I’m kinda playing hooky, Megumi, and I didn’t go to bed until pretty late and I wanted to sleep in.” Out of annoyance, Megumi grabs your phone out of your hand and rolls onto his back before pressing it to his own ear.

“What do you want Kugisaki?” His voice is still heavy with sleep, and you would normally swoon from how deep it was, but you were too distracted by him interrupting your conversation. You roll over to lay your head on his chest and nudge the phone away from his face to click the ‘speaker’ button so you can hear what Nobara is saying.

“... and you’ve been hogging all of my best friends' time lately so what I’m thinking is you and Itadori can hang out so her and I can have a girls day.” You can hear Yuji in the background correcting that you were both of their friends and he wants to hang out too.

“Well seeing as how we are both still in bed, it’s probably gonna be a while,” Megumi says flatly, probably hoping she’ll drop it and be content with just Yuji’s company.

“Ooohh, am I interrupting something fun?” You can hear her words dripping in sarcasm, wanting to fluster you and Megumi. Your boyfriend however decides he has other plans.

He cocks an eyebrow down at you, “yeah actually you are,” and pinches your thigh to elicit a sharp gasp from you. You bolt into a sitting position and feel your face heat up with embarrassment. Nobara is sputtering on the other side of the line and you swat his hand away from you as he sits up too and tries to pull you back against him.

“Megumi Fushiguro! Give me that!” You snatch your phone back and shove him off the bed, his body landing with a hard thud on the floor. “Sorry, he woke up in a bratty mood apparently.”

“Fushiguro? Being playful? I never thought I’d see the day!” Nobara snickered over the phone. You leaned over the side of the bed to see Megumi pouting at you and you stick your tongue out at him childishly.

“It’s a blessing and a curse. Anyways, give me like an hour and we can all meet up for lunch or something.”

“Yay! Let me know when you leave and we can find somewhere to meet in the middle!”

You hang up the phone and Megumi lunges off the floor and tackles you onto the bed. He rolls the two of you so he is laying on top of you and you are effectively pinned under his body weight. He lays his head on your chest and wraps his arms around your waist as you struggle to push him off of you. “I just wanna spend like ten more minutes in bed with my beautiful girlfriend.” He turns his face up to give you a pleading look and you sigh in defeat.

He grins triumphantly and rests his head back on your chest. You run your fingers through his dark hair to smooth it out as much as you can where it had been ruffled from sleep. After you feel satisfied with the strands you can reach you start tracing over the contours of his face, appreciating how angelic the light from the window makes him look.

Feeling your movements still, he cracks an eye open to see you staring at him. He narrows his eyes accusingly at you, “why are you staring? Weirdo.”

“Cause you’re pretty,” you hum contently and kiss his forehead. He buries his face into your shoulder and groans.

“You make me sound like such a girl.”

“Boys can be pretty,” you pull his face between your hands and kiss his face. “You’ve got pretty eyes, and pretty lashes, and a pretty mouth, even if there's a lot of sass coming out of it.” He rolls his eyes, moves to lay higher up on your body, and stuffs his face into the pillow next to your head. You laugh at the way the tips of his ears turn pink with embarrassment and decide to let up on your teasing.

After a lot of pouting and complaining from your boyfriend, you finally pull him out of bed and convince him to get dressed to go to lunch. You tuck a loose burgundy sweater into a pair of black high-waisted leggings, smirking at the way you catch Megumi staring at how the pants hug your curves. He layers a dark blue windbreaker over a grey hoodie and a pair of jeans. Both of you opted for sneakers since you figured you’d probably be walking around a lot.

He pulls you into a hug and makes his last attempt at talking you into staying home and watching a movie instead. You notice he gags slightly at the smell of your perfume before quickly trying to cover it with a cough. You make a mental note to buy a new one while out with Nobara before denying his request to ditch your friends. He rolls his eyes, gives you a firm peck on the lips, and leads you out the door of your home.

The ramen house Nobara and Yuji decided they wanted to try is in a large shopping district walking distance from your apartment, so you and Megumi decided to enjoy the nice weather after the storm. You barely register the sound of Yuji's voice before you are being spun around by your overexcited friend. “Be careful before you break her!” You can't help but laugh at how Nobara scolds him before he plants you firmly back on the ground but still holds you in a bruising hug.

“Yuji, I just talked to you last night!”

“Okay, but I still haven’t seen you in what feels like forever cause you’re always at school.” Yuji pushes his lip out in a pout before finally releasing you so you can hug Nobara too.

“Well, I’m sorry I have to go to stupid, normal person university cause I’m not cool enough to be a cursed energy user.” You reach out and pinch Yuji's arm causing him to flinch back away from you and pout harder.

“Trust me, I’d kill to be at a normal school.” Nobara pipes in and lightly pushes your arm jokingly. You laugh her off and turn to notice Megumi is tense and lost in thought. You tug at his sleeve to regain his attention and motion to continue your walk. He laces your fingers together and pulls you closer to him.

On your way to the ramen house, you and Nobara stop in a few shops to look around and you pick up a few things here and there. The boys mostly stayed outside in the sun and talked amongst themselves. After ducking inside one of the stores you quietly warn Nobara not to tease the boys too much today. “Nightmares again?”

“Yeah, it’s the first one in a few months but it was a bad one, just keep that between us though.”

“Of course, it’s good that he’s getting better.”

“Yeah, I’m trying to help as much as I can, but I don’t know if it's actually effective. I know they’ll never fully go away but it just hurts to see him in pain like that, you know?” Nobara nods and links your arms together as you move through the little shop.

“It’ll keep getting better, don’t let the bad nights get you down.” You smile at your friend before paying for your items and heading back outside.

When you and Nobara rejoin the boys outside, you find them complaining about being hungry and decide to actually go get your lunch. You’re all seated at a booth, you and Nobara are sitting next to each other and since Yuji insisted that he wanted to sit next to the window, he is across from you, leaving Megumi to sit across from Nobara. You smile at him apologetically but he shrugs it off and texts you from under the table to say that it doesn’t bother him.

It felt good to laugh and catch up with your friends until an old classmate of theirs showed up halfway through your meal. Megumi's eyes widen at the figure that slides into the booth next to Nobara. “Zenin? What are you doing here?” You eye her suspiciously but say nothing and continue eating your food.

“I told you, call me Mai. You make me sound the same as Maki,” she pouted at your boyfriend. You roll your eyes and Nobara huffs next to you. Mai turns to glare and notices Yuji trying to engage you in a conversation again. “Well, this is cute. Did the half-cursed monster and the normie finally get together?” You whip your head to her to ask what she's talking about, but she's speaking again before you can open your mouth.

“I mean it would make sense, you did like her first. Why did you never say anything?”

The table goes deadly quiet. Megumi is staring at Mai in horror, Yuji is shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Mai smirks at the tension she created and you can’t help but look back and forth between the two boys.

“Did you feel bad and let poor little Fushiguro have her?” She shifts her attention back to the man in front of her and continues. “Must be scary knowing he could probably take her back with a snap of his fingers, not that she’d last very long. I’d give it a week until Sukuna kills her.” Megumi lowers his eyes to the table but stays silent.

“Food for thought kids, I gotta go.” She winks at you and Nobara before making her exit. You try to reach for Megumi's hand across the table but he pulls away from you quickly.

“Megumi, she’s wrong,” you tell him gently.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” He’s shaking his head and trying to brush you off. “I’m okay, it’s nothing.”

The air around the table is awkward for the rest of lunch, but you try to continue your small talk. Things take a turn for the worse when the waitress brings two separate checks. One for Nobara and Megumi, one for you and Yuji. Nobara flags her down to tell her that a mistake has been made with the check and can you split it differently. She apologizes and says she mistook your group for two couples. You all pay for your food, Megumi quickly snatching your individual check and paying for your lunch, before you start sliding out of the table.

When you get to the edge of the booth, Megumi is yanking you to your feet by your elbow. “I don’t feel good, I wanna go home.” He says shortly before turning to walk out of the restaurant. Yuji is avoiding eye contact and hanging his head in either shame or embarrassment. You can’t quite tell. You mumble a quick apology to Yuji and Nobara before following your boyfriend outside. He grabs your wrist tightly to lead you back to your apartment.

You’d seen him get mildly jealous, but never quite this bad. The walk was fast-paced, you were having a hard time keeping up with his tall frame. You were certain that the grip he had on your wrist was going to leave bruises. You tried to catch his attention a few times and pull your hand out of his. “‘Gumi please, you're hurting me.”

That sentence finally catches his attention, but only a little. He lets go of your arm and mutters a quiet “sorry” before shoving his hands into his pockets. The rest of your walk is doused in an uncomfortable silence before you finally get back to your apartment. Megumi pulls the keys to your front door out of his pocket before stepping aside to let you in first, you can almost feel his anger rolling off of him in waves. You slip off your shoes and place your purse and shopping bag on a countertop before you are roughly grabbed and pinned against the door.

Megumi squeezes your jaw firmly, his mouth crashing against yours brutally. You tug at his wrist with one hand, he loosens his grip, but never removes his hand from your face. His other hand is fixed on your waist as he continues using his body weight to keep you pressed against the door. Your brain feels fuzzy from his sudden attack and you struggle to get your head to catch up with your body. Out of pure instinct you tilt your face up towards his to deepen the kiss and just as you think you’ve gained some ground he’s pulling away.

A weak sound of protest comes from your throat and you open your eyes to see his own morphed into a dark midnight blue. You feel him tighten his grip on your face as he leans in just enough that you can feel his breath on your lips. Your focus is pulled away by his other hand slowly snaking its way from your waist into the waistband of your leggings. You feel your breath catch at the feeling of his fingertips making their way further down to your core. You hear him chuckle darkly.

“Look at you, I hadn’t even touched you and you’re already soaking. Could Yuji make you this wet from just kissing you?” You could barely hold yourself up, let alone form a word, all you could do was shake your head. Normally he would find that endearing, but he obviously wasn’t in the mood for silence tonight. He nipped your bottom lip almost painfully. “I need words pretty girl.”

“No, just you.” You were tugging at the front of his shirt, desperately trying to ground yourself.

He smirks dangerously and bit down on your bottom lip again, earning a sharp gasp from you. “I didn’t think so.”

You try to close the gap between your lips but he pulls back and shoves your face to the side so he has access to your throat. He latches on to the weak spot behind your ear and sucks like his life depends on it. He proceeds to cover your neck with dark bruising marks before pushing your sweater down your shoulder so he can continue to mark his territory.

“‘Gumi,” you try to reach him but he’s in his own headspace. You barely have time to brace yourself as he suddenly breaks himself away from you body and yanks you up over his shoulder. You land roughly, clinging to the back of his shirt to keep from falling, and it feels like the air has been knocked from your lungs.

He doesn't give you time to catch your breath before he’s striding into your bedroom and throwing you down onto the bed. Your body bounces at the impact and he’s climbing over you before your body can settle. He grabs your hands and pins them above your head and stares you straight in the eyes.

All that can be heard in the apartment was the whipping wind outside the window and the deep breaths emitting from both of your parted lips. You take advantage of the moment to fully take in his face. Your normally gentle and loving boyfriend was nowhere to be found. In his place was a man riddled with jealousy and intent on taking his frustration out on you.

The moment is broken when he drops one of his hands from your wrists to pull up at your sweater. You do your best in this position to arch your back up so he can pull it off. He momentarily lets go of your hands so he can fling your sweater onto the floor before his hands resume their post.

You close your eyes at the feeling of his lips kissing their way down your chest. He takes one of your nipples between his teeth and bites down lightly. Your body rises from the bed in an attempt to bring him closer to you. One of his hands comes down to shove your waist back down into the mattress and once he’s done assaulting one of your nipples he moves to the other. He leaves bruising marks everywhere his lips go and you feel as they make their way further down your waist. Everything feels heightened with your eyes squeezed closed.

“Megumi please,” you breathe out. He leans back up so his face is level with yours.

“Please what? Tell me what you want.” You feel the hand on your waist move down to your thigh. You can barely make an audible sound as he rubs his thumb roughly into the skin of your inner thigh. All you can manage is a weak whine and he scoffs at your feeble attempt at speaking. “Are you suddenly mute, use your fucking words.”

He smacks your thigh sharply trying to get you to focus on him and get out of your head. You let out a small whimper and he rubs his hand soothingly over your warm skin. “You can do it love, tell me what you want.”

How quickly he can switch between how sweet and how mean his words are has your head spinning. You blink a few times before your head clears. “I want to taste you.”

“That's my girl.” He practically purrs.

He releases the hand that was holding yours in place and moves backward to let you climb off the bed. The second you stand up he is tangling his fingers into your hair and shoving you to your knees in front of him. You don’t hesitate to reach up and quickly pull his jeans and boxers down to his knees. You run your hands up his thighs to grab his half-hard dick, giving it a few lazy strokes before taking the tip in your mouth. His hand tightens in your hair and he groans out in pleasure.

You slowly move your head and start taking him deeper into your mouth. Earning a string of small moans from him. “Fuck baby, you’re being such a good girl for me.”

The tip of his cock brushes the back of your throat causing you to gag and push at his thighs. He pulls you off of him to let you take a breath, admiring all the pretty bruises he left across your skin. It takes all his self-control to not cum right then as he works himself back into your mouth. “Just relax baby, I know you can take it.”

The sweet praise that was so familiar to your bedroom activities sends a rush of arousal through you and has you squeezing your thighs together to create the tiniest bit of friction. He continues pushing into your mouth until your nose is flush with his pelvis. Your whine of protest is muffled by him as he holds you against him, not letting you move your head back. Your eyes water at the sensation as you struggle to swallow around him.

“Awe, does my baby keep forgetting to breathe through her nose?” He pouts mockingly at you. You look up at him with tears rimming your eyes and he smirks again. “You just look so pretty like this princess.”

He moves the hand that was gripping your hair to run his thumb against your temple gently before drawing his hips back. You force yourself to relax as much as you can as he starts thrusting into your mouth. You ball your fists tightly, digging your nails into your palms to distract from the achy feeling in your jaw. You flush in embarrassment and the obscene amount of spit collecting at the corner of your lips as he keeps fucking into you like his own personal toy.

Tears are streaming down your face and he cums with a loud groan. You swallow and stick your tongue out to show him. He hummed contently and you leaned back against the bed. You lay your head back and try to catch your breath. Megumi strips the rest of his clothes off and tugs you to stand up.

“Did you think we were done, princess?” He crashes his mouth against yours again and nudges you back onto the bed. “I’m not done until my name is the only thing you can say for weeks.”

Megumi reaches down to thrust two fingers into you, causing you to cry out. His mouth latches onto your skin and starts leaving dark marks everywhere he can reach again. His hand is pumping into you at a brutal pace and you’re trying your best to bite back your moans. He looks up at your face and scoffs.

“No holding back those beautiful sounds baby.” He reaches his free hand up to squeeze the sides of your throat. “I want you to use that pretty mouth to tell me just how good I’m fucking you,” he growls. You nod frantically and he nips at your jaw. Your moans and whines grow increasingly louder and Megumi starts rutting his cock against your thigh for friction.

“Gumi, I’m close,”

“Hold it,” he growls. You look up at him in panic and he grinds the heel of his hand into your clit. “I want to see if you can be good and follow a simple order. If you don’t behave, I will leave you here with nothing.”

You press your face into his shoulder and let out a small whimper. Just when you thought his challenge was hard enough, he slips a third finger into you and purposely crooks them to hit your sweet spot over and over.

“Please baby, I’m sorry. I’ll be good, please just let me cum.” Tears threaten to spill again and he laughs darkly, but says nothing else as he keeps thrusting his fingers into you. He turned his face so his breath could tickle your ear.

“I think my princess just needed a reminder of who she fucking belongs to, isn’t that right?” You nodded frantically against his shoulder. “If you really wanted to get fucked like a whore this bad then you could have just asked me nicely princess.”

Both of your hands were gripping his biceps so hard you thought that you might leave bruises on him. Your climax was so close you could almost taste it, but Megumi's threat loomed in the back of your mind. Not wanting to anger him more you keep behaving and pushing back your orgasm to the point where it’s almost painful. Seeing you struggle to follow his orders underneath him ignited something feral inside your boyfriend, as if he wasn’t dancing on the edge of it already.

“Okay princess, you can cum now.” Your climax ripped through you violently, and you couldn’t help the broken cries it pulled from your mouth.

Before you could ride out your high he is flipping you onto your stomach and yanking your hips up. You scramble to push yourself up onto your hands before he is shoving your face into the blankets.

“No baby, I want you bent over nice and pretty for me. This way I can fuck you exactly how I like.” He pushes himself all the way into you with one fluid motion and sets a hard and fast pace. You are gasping out for him and reaching back to squeeze his wrist. Overstimulation is wracking through your body and you can see black dotting your vision.

You whimper as you feel your next orgasm approaching quickly, and Megumi can sense it too. “Are you gonna be a good girl and cum again?” You nodded your head, and he slapped your thigh, eliciting a cry from you. “I asked you a question, and I want you to use your words like a big girl.”

“I’m close, please let me come again baby.” He smiles and angles his hips to start hitting your sweet spot till you’re seeing stars. Your second climax is less intense than the first, but it still has you feeling completely exhausted. Your head is hazy and you can feel your legs beginning to tremble underneath you. If not for Megumi's firm grip on your hips, you’re sure they would have given out by now.

He reaches around and pulls you up so one hand is wrapped around your throat and the other is wrapped around your waist. His hips never falter their rough pace and your back is pressed to his chest. You can hear and feel him panting in your ear with every one of his movements. Your head is too hazy to focus on anything except him and you let your head loll back onto his shoulder. He turns his head to look at you and smirks. “Look at that, my poor baby got fucked out too hard. I know you have one more in you princess.”

You whine at the promise of another orgasm while he once again latches his mouth on to your neck and shoulders. He lets the fingers on your waist trail down to where you are connected and circles your clit several times. You jolt at the stimulation and weakly try to push his hand away. He smirks and decides to take his taunting a step further. “I wonder what sweet Yuji would think if he saw you like this? Fucked dumb on my cock.”

You barely process his words, but you don’t have the energy to respond. He nips at your jaw as he pushes you closer to the edge. You can tell he’s close with how his pace begins to stutter. With a particularly hard thrust and a pinch of your clit you are coming undone for the final time that night. He cums right after you and gently lays you back down on the bed.

You’re sniffling from overstimulation and pushing his hips away from yours until he pulls out of you completely. You’re finally able to find your words as you curl further into the blankets. “Please baby no more, it hurts.”

You can’t see the guilt that washes over his face as he leans forward to kiss your temple lovingly. “It’s okay pretty girl, you did so well for me.”

He leaves you in bed to move to the bathroom and you think you can vaguely hear water running. After a few minutes he comes back and scoops you into his arms and carries you to the bathroom. He slowly eases you into the warm water of the bathtub before he's running back out.

You lean your head against the wall and let tears continue to stream down your face. A small portion of it is from the dull throb coming from your lower body, but mostly it’s from sadness clawing at your heart. You hate pushing him on his emotions and prying at things he doesn’t want to talk about, however something seemed to really push him over the edge tonight.

He quietly comes back into the bathroom and sets the book you're currently reading on the bench next to the tub, along with a hot tea in one of your favorite mugs. He had pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and was turning to leave again. You reach out and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. “I know that I’ve asked you to share so much in the last 24 hours, but can we please talk about what happened tonight?”

A look of confusion crosses his face and you sink further into the water. “I just want us to be okay, and I can’t shake the feeling that you’re mad at me.” Your voice begins to falter and he curses at himself. He pulls his sweatpants off and slides into the water behind you and rubs your shoulders.

“I’m not mad at you baby, Mai just hit a deep seated insecurity, and the thing with the waitress just kinda pushed me past my limit. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that, I’m sorry.”

You turn to lean your head on his shoulder and let your fingertips trace the water droplets that gathered on his chest. “Why would you listen to anything Mai says? She loves to piss you and Maki off.”

He tucks his chin on top of your head and hugs your shoulders. “Because she wasn’t wrong about Yuji. He liked you first, I always felt like a charity case. And every time you guys hang out, it nags at me at how much better of a boyfriend he would be for you.”

You roll your eyes and flick his nose. “I knew that he liked me, he isn’t exactly the king of subtlety. But you need to remember, Yuji is your best friend, he’d never hurt you like that.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You shift to cup his face in your hands. “If I liked Yuji, I wouldn’t have dated you. You’re the one I wanted to be with, not him. I love you.”

He leans his face into your hand and lets you pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too princess.”

[marvelouspeterparker]

teacher!tom

pairing: teacher!tom x teacher!reader

summary: your colleague is insufferable, really. the way he’s so cocky, so lenient with his students, so nonchalant, so attractive with no effort whatsoever––you hate him, really.  

warnings: smut near the end + this is really long fyi 

notes: this literally came out of nowhere, i thought about it before i fell asleep last night and luckily i remembered it today. i was kinda hesitant to write it out and post it but here we are! 

leave feedback :)

so you and tom get your jobs as high school teachers at the same time

you first meet during the training sessions during the summer before the semester started

and you immediately can’t stand him

he just––

he’s too much

with his charming accent

and his smile

and his perfect hair

how does someone look good with both gelled hair and messy hair?

when you had to spend too much time making sure you looked good every morning

it was unfair

some days he shows up in fancy clothes

a button down and pants

maybe even a trench coat

some days a leather jacket and oh how you hate that leather jacket and hoodie combo

it’s not professional in the slightest yet he still manages to pull it off

he even shows up to school in sweats

how? you have no idea

he manages to charm literally everyone 

from the students (including yours, thank you very much), the lunch ladies, even the principal for christ’s sake

all the girls love him, they swoon over him every day

you see how your girls brighten up whenever he strolls into your class to bother you 

he lets his classes watch movies way too often

he hasn’t even done some of the reading for his assignments he’s handed out

he constantly shows up to your classroom for the sole purpose of teasing you

‘looking as beautiful as ever, y/n’

you turn to look at him, a deadpan expression on your face, ‘some of us have actual work to do thomas, so if you would please leave––’

he interrupts you with a gasp, bringing his hand to his chest and he gapes at you, ‘how rude’ but you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s not actually offended

you constantly have to physically shove him out of the class

and every time he just laughs, obviously enjoying himself, only pissing you off even more

he takes every opportunity he can to bother you

like when he interrupts your class, a cheeky smile on his face as he opens the door

‘sorry to bother you, ms. y/l/n’

you both know he absolutely is not

he turns to the students and waves like he’s a goddamn celebrity and they all swoon, and you roll your eyes

‘mr. holland,’ you see his eyes,, darken? at the sound of you saying his last name but you brush it off, ‘to what do i owe this displeasure?’

his usual smirk is plastered back on his face, ‘well i just needed to borrow a marker, love.’ 

you try not to let the nickname have an effect on you, especially when you hear your students perk up at the name as well

‘you know you could have just asked a student to come over here, right.’

he turns to your class playfully, ‘does she treat you lot like a bunch of servants?’ 

they laugh and you sigh, exasperated but somewhat amused, making him turn back to you

‘you don’t even use the white board in your class.’

he shrugs easily, ‘well today i am.’

and your students are loving the banter between you two

they all ship you and they’ve told you multiple times

tom’s students have done the same to him as well

you roll your eyes for what feels like the fifteenth time and nod your head to the tray under the board where all the markers are and he doesn’t move a muscle, he even dares to lean against the doorframe

‘well how am i supposed to know which one you don’t mind me taking?’

you glare at him and walk over to the board, picking up a random marker and throwing it his way

he catches it easily and slides out of the classroom and you can hear the grin in his voice as he walks off, ‘cheers, love.’

you just go back to teaching your class, ignoring some of the knowing stares your students are throwing your way

after class you go over to his class to see what was so important that he needed to get one of your markers 

you walk right in because of course his door is wide open

...he wrote the date

that’s it.

he looks up from his phone to see you standing there and he straightens up, his eyes widening slightly as he sets his phone down

‘uh’ he scratches the back of his head, ‘i erased it all, obviously’

you narrow your eyes at him, obviously not buying it

‘i can assure you we took the most intensive notes you’ve ever seen’ 

you laugh and walk out of the class, ‘yeah and i’m the pope.’

he smiles, shaking his head slightly as he watches you walk away

sometimes when you’re walking in the hallway, he somehow finds you, easily sliding up next to you

‘you following me?’

‘tom you came up to me.’

‘nonsense, really.’

sometimes during lunch, he’ll stop by your classroom if you’re not in the cafeteria

and you’re too bothered and hungry to kick him out

so you both just eat and “enjoy” each other’s company

he’ll make small talk with you and it’s actually not that bad

you share an office with him and the other teachers in your department 

your desks are right next to each other, because apparently whoever’s in charge of your life just isn’t on your side

he tends to look over at whatever you’re doing

‘geez darling, you really are a harsh grader...’

you look up at him, and back to the sheet, offended

‘no i am not! i’m checking the answer sheet and this is simply not correct––’

you plan on defending yourself further but then you see him trying to hold in his laughter and realize he’s just teasing you

you look back to your paper, hiding your smile, ‘ha ha. very funny tom.’

sometimes he’ll even roll his chair over and lean on your desk

you look over at him hesitantly, ‘do you need something?’

he just smiles lazily, ‘oh don’t mind me, just enjoying the view.’

you brush him off and try to ignore the fluttering feeling you get in your stomach

you’re with your other colleagues one day on lunch break, 

luckily tom hasn’t decided to torture you that day

and they ask

‘so you and holland gone on a date yet?’

and you choke on your food

and the other one goes ‘or have you at least fucked––’

and you properly choke on your drink this time

when you finally calm down, they don’t even try to hide their smiles

‘what are you talking about?’

‘oh come on’

‘you can’t be serious’

when you look at them like they’re crazy their smiles drop

‘oh so you’re either stupid or oblivious’

‘hey!’

‘i mean come on, the way he looks at you––’

‘his teasing’

‘his comments’

‘we don’t like each other, he’s insufferable...’ you say but it really sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself

‘you know we don’t even have any policies on that stuff, sooo...you could if you wanted to.’

when you don’t reply, they go on,

‘so you don’t think he’s attractive at least?’

you roll your eyes, ‘don’t be stupid, i’ve seen him before, and he knows he’s attractive which is the worst part––’

and you get interrupted by a very annoyingly familiar british voice

‘who’s attractive, darling?’ he slides in and takes a seat next to you and your friends can’t help but smile knowingly at each other

you send them warning glares and they ignore you

he sends them a charming smile, ‘hello ladies’

their soft, completely charmed responses make you gag

and tom can’t help but shove your arm playfully, ‘play nice, darling.’

‘can i help you with anything?’

‘just wanted to say hello to my favorite colleague,’ he turns to your friends, ‘and her lovely friends, of course.’ 

you roll your eyes, ‘isn’t harrison your favorite?’ you ask, bringing up the pe teacher he’s always with

he was a nice guy really, you’d talked with him a few times, he was always making jokes

he brings a finger up to his lips, ‘shh’ he winks, ‘don’t tell him.’

eventually he leaves you alone with a promise to stop by your class again before the day’s over  

you respond with a ‘there’s really no need!’ 

and he turns back to face you as walks out, ‘sorry! can’t hear you anymore!’

you look back at your friends and they’re giving you a ‘really, bitch.’ look and you can’t help but shrink in your seat a little bit, lost in thought

‘does he really like me?’

‘do i really like him?’

you try to push it aside and focus on your work for the time being after that––you are at work, after all

when parent teacher conferences come around tom obviously finds a way to sneak into your classroom before they start

you hate to say it but your breath hitches and your gaze lingers a little too long on the way his arms strain in his tight shirt, the part of his collarbone you can see peeking past his slightly unbuttoned top, the shiny watch on his wrist, his hands––

‘well you somehow managed to look even more beautiful than you always do, love. can’t say i’m surprised.’

you look down at the dress and heels you’d changed into after class ended, suddenly feeling undressed under his gaze

‘um thank you. you look good too.’

he seems taken aback for a second, and is he blushing?

‘thanks, love.’ 

he puts his hands in his pockets, a casual smile on his face, ‘so are you ready for the next five hours of forced social interaction?’

‘no but i have to be,’ you sighed. ‘i’m sure you’re fine though, you’re a people person.’

‘what can i say, people love me.’

‘alright,’ you say getting up, you don’t know what comes over you but you place your hands on his chest gently, ‘we have like’ you glance at the clock ‘two minutes so,’ you look up at him and the look in his eyes knocks you breathless

‘off you go...’ you trail of softly

his hands come up to hold you wrists gently, his thumbs caressing the skin, a soft look in his eyes,

‘if you say so, darling.’

it feels like time stopped but a knock on your door reminds you where you are and what you have to do

your hands hesitantly slide down his chest and back to your side and he sighs at the feeling, unwillingly letting you go

‘looks like my first parent is here.’

he backs away slowly, blinking out of the daze you both seemed to be in, ‘right, i––good luck, love.’

you reply quietly, ‘same to you.’ 

and so you introduce yourself to the first parent and go about your night

when you have a small ten minute window, you go to the bathroom and when you come back you find a small cup of coffee on your desk, just the way you like

there’s a sticky note next to it and you can’t help but smile when you read it

‘thought you might need this. knock em dead, darling. you’ve got this. :)’

when you’ve finally said goodbye to your last pair of parents, many long hours later, you prop your door open and take a seat again

it’s not long before you hear a knock at the door, you turn to see tom strolling in, two bottles of water in his hand

yes one hand, you tried very hard not to think about it too much, especially not about the way his fingers wrapped around the––

‘here you go, love.’ he hands you a bottle and you thank him as he sits down in the seat across from you where the parents were sitting all night

‘so how was that for you? first parent teacher conference done.’ he sips his water and you try not to focus on the way his throat bobs when he swallows the sips

‘i think it went well, they were all really nice, honestly. how was it for you?’

‘great, i mean it was honestly kind of fun, but now i’m exhausted’

you nodded in agreement, ‘oh! thank you for the coffee by the way, i––i really appreciated it.’ you give him a small smile

he returns one back to you, ‘of course, love.’

you can’t help but ask, ‘so do you just do this for everyone?’

he furrows his brows in confusion and you continue, totally disregarding the fact that he looks really cute when he’s confused

‘the coffee, the water, the nicknames...’ you trail off

he lets out a small chuckle, ‘i will admit i am a charmer––’ he looks into your eyes, ‘but i promise it’s just you. you’re...’ he trails off for a bit, ‘different.’ 

he can see you’re unsure about how to take that, ‘in a good way,’ he clarifies, ‘a really good way.’ he smiles

you lick your lips nervously, ‘well that’s...good. i––yeah that’s nice.’

you mentally curse at yourself, really? nice? my god––

luckily he lets it slide and soon enough the both of you get dressed and he’s walking you outside to your car

you both say goodnight and once you’ve driven off, tom gets in his car and heads home too

when the winter formal comes along, everyone is very excited, people are asking each other out, and all that fun stuff

being a teacher, you get to hear all the gossip in your class and in the halls and it’s honestly quite entertaining

‘now you didn’t hear this from me,’ you pause for dramatic effect while tom tries his best but fails to hide his endeared smile. he leans in over his lunch, ‘but apparently sarah lewis, the blonde girl in my class?’ you pause to make sure tom knows who you’re talking about

when he nods you go on 

‘thought that david––’

‘is that the bloke on the football team?’

‘yes, him. she thought he was going to ask her to the formal, right?’

‘yeah i mean i’ve seen them flirting in the hallways, only makes sense.’

you shake your head in sympathy for the poor girl and his mouth drops, ‘no––’

‘yes... he asked her best friend instead.’

tom sits back in his seat, ‘that fucker––’

‘tom!’ you laugh, though you really shouldn’t, these were students for christ’s sake.

‘what? come on, he deserves it, the player.’

you nod, ‘yeah i guess he does.’

you both laugh and when it dies down, he speaks up again,

‘speaking of the formal,’ you perk up and try your best to seem nonchalant as you look up at him.

he’s looking down at his food nervously, as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. 

he clears his throat and looks up at you, his eyes vulnerable, ‘will you be uh, chaperoning?’

you swallow, weirdly nervous all of a sudden, ‘yeah,’ you tilt your head slightly and tom almost combusts at how cute you look, ‘will you?’

he snaps out of his reverie, ‘yeah! yeah i will.’ god he felt like he was back in high school again, this was ridiculous––

‘i guess i’ll see you there, then.’ you smile shyly.

he smiles back ‘yeah i guess i’ll see you too.’

tom shows up early to the dance, because he’s a nerd––he’d even put on his nice shoes, his extra shiny watch and gelled his hair for an extra ten minutes to make sure he looked good

he was hoping to catch you before everyone started piling in, but unfortunately you were nowhere to be found

nonetheless he helped with last minute decorations and such and stood in the corner when the dance started, to make sure nobody died or anything on the dance floor

he was sipping his punch, totally not judging the students dance moves when he noticed you walk into the gym, a look of awe on your face as you looked at all the decorations and lights

and you––

you looked like a princess 

your dress was long and flowy and there was a slit (a perfectly appropriate one) on the side and when tom noticed that he just about choked on his drink 

you made your way around the room, saying hi to the other chaperones and some of your students as well

a lot of people wanted to talk to you, tom found out rather impatiently

but soon enough, you made your way towards him, near the punch

‘funny seeing you here, holland.’

he smiles, ‘likewise, love.’

you both go off near the side and start small talking

soon enough you’re making jokes, enjoying your time

‘i have to say i really am impressed with how this turned out, it looks great,’ you say, your eyes exploring the room

he hums, ‘not as good as the ones in london though.’

you turn to him, amused and intrigued, ‘oh yeah, why’s that?’

he leans in to whisper in your ear over the music, ‘cause we’re allowed to drink booze at our dances.’

you snort and roll your eyes

and he can’t help but feel his heart flutter in his chest at the way you laugh at him

he wanted you to be his so badly

after a few moments of scanning the crowd and doing your job, tom speaks up again

he holds his hand out and you look at it and back to him ‘may i have this dance?’

you can’t help the smile that makes it’s way to your lips, ‘aren’t we supposed to be working?’

‘we can watch and dance at the same time’ he responds, even though he knows once he has you in his arms he won’t be able to focus on anything else but you

you say fuck it and grab his hand

he grins and leads you to a spot on the dance floor after discarding your cups

his hands gingerly find their way to your waist and it’s cliché, truly

but you feel all tingly when he touches you and honestly it seems like he does too

you slide your hands up to his shoulders and he takes a deep breath

you start swaying slightly to the song

and now that you listen to it, it sounds a bit too sensual for a high school, dance. but anyway––

tom’s eyes are entranced by the way you’re glowing in the light and the way you’re looking up at him

your lips looks so soft and inviting

your eyes are shining

and that dress

meanwhile, he looks dashing as ever

his jawline, his hair looks so perfect––you really wanna pull on it and mess it up...

you slowly inch your way towards each other and soon enough, you’re so close that if you just tilted your head and pushed forward, you’d be kissing

realizing where you are, you both snap out of it slowly

and as a slow song comes on, you lean your head on his chest and he holds you close

you can hear and feel his heartbeat and it makes you smile

you sway together and you can tell there are some students and even staff members who are staring at you two

when the song is over you look up at each other and the tension is unbearable, and oh so thick

‘do you wanna––’

‘let’s––’

you both laugh, still holding each other

‘let’s go, darling’ he grabs your hand and leads you to grab your coats and your purse and then out to his car

before he opens the door he catches a glimpse of the way you’re looking at him with your bottom lip caught between your teeth, your eyes looking him up and he just loses it

he practically lunges towards you and you yelp when he attaches his lips to yours, immediately melting in his touch

one of his hands is cradling your cheek, while the other reclaims it’s spot on your waist, gripping you softly but firmly

without detaching his lips from yours, he turns you around and presses you against the door to his car and you gasp slightly into the kiss, making him smirk

you raise your leg up slowly, trailing your heel up the back of his leg and he groans as he presses himself into you 

you hear a group of teenagers shouting and laughing as they step out for a breath of fresh air and the two of you pull away from each other reluctantly, panting as you stare at each other as if you want to devour the other

and honestly––you do

he opens the door for you and tries to calm himself down when he shuts the door for you before walking over to his side and getting settled in his seat

he looks over at you and notices the way your clenching your thighs together, how your breaths are still heavy and he bites his lip, unable to look away from you

you break the silence

‘are we really about to fuck in your car?’

‘of course not,’ he looks offended, ‘for our first time together? absolutely not, i have more manners than that love.’ he pauses, ‘unless you want that?’

you can’t help but laugh, ‘take me home, tom’

your eyes widen slightly, realizing how domestic that sounded and you go to take it back but he interrupts you, placing his hand on your thigh

‘let’s go home’ a smile on his face as he pulls out of the parking lot

the whole drive to his place, his hand is gripping your thigh teasingly and you’re surprised you didn’t leave a wet spot on his seat when you got up

he opens the door for you and takes you up to his apartment, using all his self control not to take you right there in the elevator

when you get to his door, it takes him way too much effort to put the key through the hole

though he’s not drunk, it feels like he is when he’s around you

you’re absolutely intoxicating

your hands are rubbing all over his body as you hold him from behind, your face nuzzling into his back and he can barely focus

‘christ––’

as soon as you step inside his apartment, he locks the door and his lips are back on yours as you take your shoes off and hastily throw your jackets on the couch as you walk past the living room

once you get into his bedroom, he turns the bedside lamp on the lowest since he doesn’t want you to trip and fall over anything

you both quickly undress and tom stops you before you can take off your undergarments

‘let me,’ a cheeky look in his eyes as he does so

he turns you around and grazes his hands up and down your sides before bringing them behind you and unhooking your bra

he slides it down your arms teasingly slow and the silence in the room is deafening as you hear it drop to the floor

he steps closer to you, pressing his bare chest against your back and you hear him take in a breath as looks at your breasts

he brings his hands to your waist in a silent question

and you lean back in response

he takes the invitation and glides his hands up to grasp your breasts and your back arches, a soft sigh escaping your lips and he basks in the sound, wanting to hear it again

‘so pretty, darling’ he plays with your nipples and you whine, wanting to feel him already

‘tom––’

‘alright,’ you hear the smile in his voice before he turns you around

then he bends down all while keeping eye contact with you, kissing your skin as he makes his way down

then, this cheeky bastard, places his hands on your thighs, while he looks up at you with those innocent eyes and grasps the waistband of your panties with. his. teeth.

he drags them down oh so slowly down your legs and once they reach the bottom you kick them aside

he stands back up and you waste no time, smirking at him before you bend down, ‘my turn’ 

you get on your knees and drag your fingertips down his abs while you do so, relishing in the shivers he tries to contain

you hook your fingers into his briefs and pull them down, biting your lip at the way his cock is standing up proudly

you lick your lips as he steps out of his underwear, ‘is that all for me?’

he bites his lip, bringing a hand down to hold your cheek and you turn your head to kiss his palm

and how you managed to make that hot? he has no idea

‘of course it is, darling. it’s all yours’ he grabs his cock and starts stroking it slowly, hissing at the feeling

you quickly take control and he moans out loud when you lick along his base and put the tip in your mouth

you swirl your tongue around him and he swears he sees stars

‘you’re––christ, you’re making me forget my manners, love. i’m supposed to take care of you first.’

you roll your eyes, taking him out of your mouth while you keep stroking him with one hand and play with his balls in the other

‘you wanna make me happy right tommy?’ you bat your eyelashes and he twitches in your hand at the sight and the nickname

‘y–yeah’

‘then let me do this please? wanna make you feel good’

he nods entranced and you continue, putting your mouth back on him

sucking and bobbing your head as his eyes flutter shut and his head falls back

he gets lost in the pleasure and honestly almost blows his load unwillingly but he pulls you away and leads you to the bed

you climb on and get settled in the middle, enjoying the look in his eyes as he climbs after you like a predator eyeing its prey

his eyes lock in on his target and you close your legs teasingly as you look up at him

he shakes his head slightly at your antics, ‘ah ah, open up, pretty girl. i wanna see you.’ he nudges your thighs open with his hands and the feeling of his fingertips pressing into your skin send tingles all through your body, making your pussy clench around nothing

he looks between your thighs and back at you, ‘can i?’

you nod before he can even finish his sentence and he’s too eager to please you to make a joke about it

he lies down between your legs and wraps his arms around your thighs as he holds you in place and dives in

his tongue is slow and teasing as he licks through your folds

he’s making eye contact because of course he is

and you can’t look away, and neither can he 

you can tell he’s enjoying this and it makes it all the more enjoyable for you

he’s taking his time and savoring you, coaxing you to the edge 

your hands grip his curls, ‘i’ve been wanting to mess these up all night’ you admit

and he growls into your heat, speeding up his movements

he shakes his head and lets you grind into his face as he focuses on your clit

and soon enough your back is arching, your eyes shutting closed and your body tenses around him, your thighs holding him close

he licks you up through your high and when your thighs loosen around him, he kisses your clit and sits up, rubbing your thighs soothingly

you sit up and kiss him slowly, passionately, letting your tongues taste each other as you feel each other up

‘come here,’ he mumbles between kisses while he moves around

he lies down on the bed and you go to straddle him when he stops you

‘just a little bit higher, love.’

your eyes widen, ‘you want me to sit on your face––’

‘been dreaming about it for a while now actually. please darling?’ he gives you those puppy dog eyes of his 

and though you didn’t know if he meant metaphorically or literally, you decided to climb up, you’d figure it out later 

you settle down on top of his mouth and he pulls you down, immediately getting to work as he watches you through hooded eyes

you’re still sensitive from your previous orgasm so you feel yourself get close quickly as he sucks on your clit

you mewl and he hums into your heat, loving the reactions your giving him

when he feels you about to tip over the edge he grabs your ass and helps you grind on his face as he flattens out his tongue

your thighs close around his head for the second time that night and his cock throbs at the sight of you and the feel of you pulsing on his tongue

he licks you clean and leaves soft kisses on your thighs as you come to your senses again

you get off of him and switch places

he licks his lips as he reaches over for a condom and puts it on

he watches you breath deeply, the light coating of sweat on your chest glistening under the soft light, your wet pussy 

he strokes himself and lines up at your entrance, rubbing himself through your folds and teasing your clit

you can’t help but shiver and jolt at the feeling and he bites his lip, hiding his smile

‘you ready, darling?’ he asks, wanting to make sure you still want this

you nod, looking up at him and he slides in, bottoming out slowly

‘god you’re so wet for me––’

you can feel every inch as he enters you and your walls are so tight he’s sure he won’t last––just seeing you come already made him want to

he starts thrusting into you slowly, holding your thighs up as he moves his hips and the both of you let out a string of moans and curses

he hits the right spot inside of you and your eyes roll back as you whimper, your hands gripping his as they hold you open

‘always wanted to see how you roll your eyes while my cock’s inside you––’ he teases

you can’t even be bothered to reply with a witty comeback, he just feels too good

you wrap your arms and legs around him pushing him deeper inside you and he groans, his hands sliding down your body to rest on either side of you as he pounds you harder

‘god you feel so good angel’

your heart properly bursts at the new nickname, your limbs tightening around him as you turn and kiss his neck

he couldn’t help it, just watching you tonight at the dance and just now underneath him, it was the only name that seemed fitting

‘fuck, i’m close––’ he pants 

you perk up and clench around him, wanting to make him feel good

he curses into your neck and keeps pounding you, sliding a hand down to rub at your clit

you jolt underneath him, moaning breathlessly at the feeling of his soft fingers in comparison to his hard thrusts

he reaches his high first, his hand and his hips not stopping until he feels you convulse around him

‘fuck––’

‘oh god tommy––’

he crashes his lips against yours and grinds his hips into you as you settle down from your orgasms

after a few moments of you giving each other soft kisses here and there, tom pulls out of you

he goes to discard the condom and leads you to the bathroom to pee, giving you a kiss on your forehead as he leaves you to do your business

it all feels very mundane and home-like and just warm

when you’re done, tom has a glass of water for the both of you and you take a sip before getting into bed and under the covers with him

he opens his arms and lets you slide in next to him, resting your head on his chest, wrapping your arm around him as he holds you close

after a while of comfortable silence, he speaks up

‘i’ve been wanting to do this for a really long time, you know’ he says absentmindedly as his fingers trace patterns on your waist

you nuzzle into him, ‘yeah?’

he hums, ‘always found you beautiful’

you’re glad he can’t see how flustered his words make you, ‘mm i always found you insufferably hot’

he laughs and his chest vibrates under you

‘insufferably?’

‘you know how you are’ a teasing tone to your voice as you answer

‘fair enough’

after a small pause you speak up hesitantly, ‘so...what now?’

you can hear and feel him take a sharp inhale before he responds, ‘well i was hoping i could take you out soon? i know we’re doing this all backwards but––i’d love to call you mine if that’s alright?’

you smile, delighted by his response, ‘i’d like that a lot.’

you can hear the smile in his voice, ‘yeah?’

you laugh, ‘yeah’ you kiss his chest and he squeezes your waist in response

the two of you talk for a little bit more and soon enough you drift off to sleep

tom drives you back to school on saturday to pick up your car after he made you breakfast, of course

and honestly he wasn’t a bad chef, he’d apparently learned from his younger brother

and if that didn’t make you fall for him more, you don’t know what would

he leaves you with a kiss and makes sure to wait until you’ve pulled off safely to make his way back home

when you come back to school the next week, your friends quickly bombard you in your office and practically drag you into the hallway

‘so we noticed you left with mr. charming on saturday...’

‘and left your car here’ they wiggle their eyebrows suggestively and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh

just before you answer tom walks in and winks at you, a grin on his face, before stepping into the office

oh he so knew what you guys were talking about

your friends turn to each other immediately, 

‘oh they totally fucked’

‘definitely’

your eyes widen and you shush them aggressively

‘this is still a school you know??’ but you all fail to hide your laughter

‘so how was it?’ they ask

you turn to make sure no one’s listening and look back at them, biting your lip 

‘pretty fucking amazing’

they shout and cheer and you slap them playfully telling them to calm down

‘i’ll tell you more about it later, now shoo.’

you make your way back into the office, a playful and slightly embarrassed smile on your face as you feel tom’s eyes watching your every move

he scoots over next to you when you’ve settled in your seat and you can feel his minty, tea flavored breath tickling your neck ‘so did you tell them about how you sat on my––’

‘shut up!’ 

he cackles and slides his way back to his desk

you’re walking down the hallway later on when you bump into a familiar face

‘oh hi harrison’

he lights up when he sees you ‘haven’t spoken to you in ages, y/n how are you? heard you and tom finally got together, about time––he’s been moaning about you for months now’ 

you can’t help but smile knowingly at the fact that he’d told his friend all about it just like you did 

and speak of the devil, tom comes strolling in out of nowhere, and walks up to you and haz in the hallway

you can’t help the smirk on your face when you see him and he immediately knows something is up

‘what did this div tell you?’

and your smirk turns into a grin, ‘oh nothing, just how you’ve been obsessing over me for months now,’ the glint in your eyes brightens and tom turns to glare at his friend

‘right,’ harrison speaks up, laughing, ‘well i’ve got things to do, you know sports to coach or whatever so i’ll leave you to it!’ before running off

you get tom’s attention again, a teasing sing-song tone to your voice, ‘you’ve had a crush on me’

he smirks down at you, his hands sliding down to your waist, ‘don’t act like i didn’t see the way you would look at me, darling.’ he grabs your ass subtly, and you gasp as he presses you closer to him ‘we both had it bad.’

‘now be a good girl and get to class.’ he walks off leaving you there gaping like a fish, your cheeks heating up as students start crowding in 

‘thomas!’