#benefits. like holy shit just pay more

[moonjade]

Nothing is shadier than when job postings specifically exclude Colorado applicants

[front-facing-pokemon]

Now i know this blog is obviously for.. well. Front facing pokemon, but your tags are always super interesting. I think your opinions on pokemon are pretty neat

i've gotten a few asks like this so far, and it's always nice to see that folks aren't annoyed about how much i talk in the tags. i have lots of opinions on lots of things! and i like to talk a lot. the reason i started talking more in the tags is actually because of asks like this—folks saying they liked seeing what i had to say on particular pokémon has encouraged me to actually talk about my thoughts more (although if you regularly read my tags, i tend to get off-topic pretty quickly. i queue these up very early in the morning, as soon as i get up, and i'm usually a little delirious), especially compared to my first early posts on this blog which didn't even have any tags at all, beyond the names of the pokémon. you're one of the like 4 ffp-mod likers how's it feel

[satorusugurugurl]

My Wedding Date is an Escort!

Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one my, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.

Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader

Word Count: 5,818

Warning: dirty talk, language, making out, wedding duties (lol), oral sex, smutty smut

A/N: Our final part 🥹💚 wow what a journey! There will be an epilogue for our sweet beans next week! Along with the start of the Best Friend!Suguru series.I'm so sorry for the late post, I was so sick yesterday and sleepy from my medication! But better late than never! ! If you want to be included in the tag list, YOU MUST HAVE AGE LISTED! Thank you!!

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Eight

For two days, two days, you and Satoru spent most of the time in your room. Wrapped up in your sheets, him on top of you, you on top of him. You only separated for the rehearsal dinner and getting your nails done. But the second you were back in his arms, he made up for the lost time like you had been gone for years. His lips were on yours in slow, gentle kisses that became passionate.

Those same kisses would end on the futon, which probably had seen more action in the last forty-eight hours than since the inn opened. Satoru bent you in all different positions, twisting you like a pretzel, stretching you in ways you didn't even know was possible. He made it his goal to make up for the year and a half that you didn’t sleep with anyone. Gojo Satoru turned you into a mess- a withering mess.

“Oooh holy shit.” you cried out, gripping the blanket, “fuuuuck oooh fuck Satoru.”

“Yeah~? Does that feel good~?”

“S-So good~!”

“Mhmm~ good.”

Fingers moved gently, expertly making your back arch, jaw opening in a soft cry of pleasure. Satoru bit his lip, his fingers increasing the pressure against you. Cerulean eyes narrowed, focusing on your face, watching how your eyes rolled back and your face flushed.

“T-Toru~Toru.” Toes curled as you cried softly, eyes watering.

“Oooh yeah~ you gonna cum~?”

Blinking, you lift an eyebrow, watching Satoru wiggle his at you. His fingers are massaging into your sore feet, kneading away knots and easing the aching muscles. Both of you were fully clothed, sitting on the back porch overlooking the gardens. Anyone around would have assumed you both were doing the deed from how loud you were being.

“Oh my god, was I being that loud?”

“What~? No!” You relaxed a little, your feet still in his lap. Thumbs worked at a particularly sore spot, making you whine again. “I’m pretty sure Suguru heard that whine, and he's in Tokyo.”

“Ya’ know what—”

You try pulling your feet away, only to have Satoru yank them back into his lap, inadvertently pulling you closer to him. “Stop, I'm just teasing. Let me do this.” his fingers continue working, moving gently over your feet. “You were in the kitchen all morning, making a three-tier wedding cake. Then those ‘friends’ of yours make you wear heels to take pictures. And you have to wear heels for the wedding tomorrow?” Satoru shook his head, white tufts of hair swaying.

“I offered to bake the cake, the benefit of having a baker as a friend.” His thumbs hit a sore spot, making you jolt. “But the heels are torture.”

“They seem like it.”

A soft, comfortable silence filled with chirping crickets and a distant wind chime grew between you. You just sat there while Satoru rubbed at your sore feet under the blanket of glittering stars. You had one more day together here in Kyoto, then a train ride back home, and you would be back to reality. A reality that had changed drastically over the last week.

When you both retired to your room, you lay in bed staring at the ceiling in thought. You had gone from a woman who was quiet, shy, and hell-bent on not needing anyone to this giggly, joyful woman who couldn’t be any happier. Satoru had peeled away at the layers of scar tissue you had hidden yourself in. He brought a certain confidence out in you. Being with him was as easy as breathing; even when you returned home to your mundane lives, you had faith you both would continue to strive forward. To keep your relationship going strong.

Strong as the urge to stay in bed with him all day despite your fellow bridesmaids pounding on your door the next morning. Satoru grumbled in horny frustration; his cock was pressed firmly over your barely clothed core. You pulled your lips away from his neck, pushing your hair back, groaning at the sudden interruption.

“I have to go, Toru.” You pulled off of him, giggling as he threw his head back. “Hey~ don’t be like that; we’ll pick up where we left off tonight.”

“Wedding sex is the best kind of sex. Especially when you’re on a sugar rush.”

You looked over your shoulder at him, grinning ear to ear. “That sounds enticing.” Satoru sat up on his elbows, licking his lips.

“Oh, it’s gonna happen tonight,” Satoru promised with a shake of his head. “I promise you that.”

Another knock at the door, “If you don’t come out! We’re coming in! Regardless of how indecent you two are!” A series of knocks sounded from the other side of the door by several different hands from the sound of it.

”I better go before they knock down the door.” With a pout, you leaned down, kissing Satoru goodbye before heading out. “I’ll see you later!” just before you shut the door to the room, you pouted as Satoru watched, sticking his bottom lip out. “It’s just three hours, babe!”

Three hours flew by before you knew it. The excitement of getting ready for the wedding and seeing your best friend practically buzzing in anticipation fueled everyone's energy. While you were bouncing up and down eagerly waiting to see Satoru in a tailored suit. Just imagining him had you grinning as you stared out the bridal suite window, looking towards the garden decorated for the joyous event.

“So, when are you and Satoru getting married?”

”Eh!?” All of your friends surrounded you, devilish smiles gracing their faces. “I-I—we are not getting married!” At least not yet. “We’ve barely started going out.” Literally. “There’s no indication that we're even considering that!”

“Oh, please!”

“Says the girl that’s been locked in her room with said boyfriend for the last two days!”

Your face burned like a fresh sunburn. “S-So! That does not mean that we’re getting married anytime soon!” All of your friends booed in protest. “Will the whole lot of you stop? Seriously, I don’t want you guys scaring off Satoru!” The bride stepped forward in her gown and all of her glory. “Finally, Mina, will you please talk some sense into them!?” Your best friend looked amongst the other girls, all dressed in a beautiful sky blue. For a moment, you thought she might take your side. But the second a smirk at the corner of her mouth, you knew she didn’t have your back.

“I was going to ask you the same question! The man would’ve fucked you against the wall at the bar no one stopped him!”

“Oh my God!”

“I’m serious! I think I’ll hand you the bouquet when I toss it!”

“Please don’t.”

“Oh, I think I will!”

“We are not getting married—not yet!”

Satoru sat off to the side, right next to your parents, as the wedding started. He watched with wide and sparkling eyes as you walked down the aisle with a groomsman. Your hair was styled beautifully, and the flowing sky-blue dress looked stunning on your figure and complimented your skin tone. His mouth felt suddenly dry as you looked at him, giving him a gentle, sweet smile. Cupid himself must have shot him through the heart at that moment because fuck, he was falling so hard for you.

“Ma’am—“ he learned next to your mother's ear, “just so you know, the next wedding we host here will be ours.”

“Huh?!”

Her reaction didn’t even seem to faze him. All he cared about was standing near the front of an outdoor arch decor with flowers of different colors—a gentle breeze brushed by you, making your hair and the dress flow. Even when the bride made her grand entrance, everyone turned to see her walking down the aisle towards her future husband. Satoru had his eyes locked on you.

You could feel his eyes, and that burning sensation had your focus transfixed on him. Was it wrong to be looking at your wedding date instead of the bride-to-be? The chances of that were very likely. But how could you not stare back? When his eyes burned holes into your very soul and left your heart racing like you had just run a marathon. It was impossible to pay attention to anyone else.

He was so handsome. Satoru was wearing a white button-down shirt with a blue tie that matched your dress. His navy blue jacket and pants were tailored to his body perfectly. You could tell by its appearance that it was expensive. It was probably more expensive than your best friend's wedding dress. You wanted to rip it off of him and let him take you right there in the garden.

Yes, he was extremely good-looking. But it wasn’t his clothes or his appearance or the fact that he had money that made you so attracted to him at that moment. The way he looked at you, eyes trailing over your body, with a soft grin, told you everything you needed to know. Satoru truly cared for you. This wasn’t just about sex, and it wasn’t the magic of the wedding to be. Chemistry, connection, and attraction were one hundred percent genuine.

After exchanging vows and rings, hundreds of pictures were taken with everyone. You were finally free from your wedding duties. The first thing you did as soon as you broke away from the rest of the group was run to Satoru’s side. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you tight to his chest. Lips pressed against the temple of your head, and you could’ve sworn he let out a little sigh of happiness to have you back in his arms.

“You look so fucking beautiful.” He cupped a strand of hair behind your ear before gently reaching down, gripping your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Is it wrong for me to say you’re even more beautiful than the bride?”

“Satoru!” you playfully punched at his shoulder, “I am not.”

“Oh, you are; that’s a god-given fact, sweetheart.” His thumbs brushed ever so lovingly over your cheek. “But there’s just one thing I would change about the outfit.”

“You and me both.” You winced, moving your arm away from the scratchy sequins top. “This material is an absolute nightmare for my underarms. I’m serious. You’ll probably have to put lotion on them for me later.”

“Oh.” Satoru deadpans. “ I wasn’t talking about the material.”

You hum in thought, looking over the dress for any flaws he may have noticed. “Oh?” When you didn’t find anything else wrong with the dress in your eyes, you tilted your head, looking up at Satoru. “Well, what would you change about it then?” His hand gently pulled your face closer to his own; he leaned down, the fresh smell of minty lemonade coaxing your nostrils.

“I’d change the color.”

“Wait, what?”

Your date says nothing for a beat of silence. “So anyways! Let’s grab our seats; I’ll get you one of the cocktails!”

He rambles on while you’re still stuck on how he would change the color of your dress. Surely, he meant he would do a different shade or maybe red instead of blue; there’s no possible way that he was talking about it to white. Yeah, he didn’t mean that at all! Your friends just put the stupid notion in your head that you guys are going to get married next. You didn’t even know what the two of you were yet. You hadn’t put a label on your relationship.

What you did know was that Satoru wanted to make your relationship work. So you knew for sure that you weren’t just another fuck buddy or client. This went deeper than that. What you both had was real, which was a lot more than other couples had. So who knew, maybe your friends were right? Perhaps Satoru had thought that white would make your dress look one million times better.

These were questions and answers for another day. You weren’t going to rush into things. Both of you wanted to take your time and get to know one another.

And you learned a lot of things about him as the party began. Like how he despised the taste of alcohol, he had mentioned it in passing when he walked you to the bachelorette party. But when he accidentally took a sip of a cocktail unintentionally, not knowing it had alcohol in it, the man sputtered and choked. His hands grabbed a cola from the bartender, chugging it like water. You learned that he was a pretty good dancer. He bumped and ground with you on the dance floor while the music blared. You learned how gentle his hands were as he slowly danced with you to one of the many love songs the DJ played.

He was so tentative to you. He’d always make sure you had a drink of some kind. He insisted that you drink plenty of water to avoid getting drunk. He even went to the room and grabbed your sandals when your high heels bothered you. God, he was everything and then some. If you hadn’t called for each other, he truly would have made this wedding a lot of fun for you. There was no doubt that he was worth every penny you were willing to spend to have a good time.

The party has toned down almost entirely, a few stragglers drunkenly laughing and drinking while others chat while eating the vanilla and raspberry compote cake you had made. Your best friend and her husband are one of two couples on the floor dancing to a slow song. The other was Satoru and the flower girl who had been smitten with his white hair and blue eyes. She was convinced he was Prince charming and begged him to dance with her. Satoru jumped at the opportunity. Gently placing her little feet on top of his shoes as he danced with her to the slow beat of the music.

Your gaze was locked on him as you nursed a cup of coffee between your hands. He was so perfect in every way, shape, and form. Satoru had made this one of the best nights of your entire life. God, you don’t think you’ve ever had so much fun at a wedding before. It was all thanks to him that you were having one of the most memorable nights of your life.

Those deep, happy thoughts are cut short when a tiny, chubby hand gently smacks your cheek. The sudden contact has you jumping, nearly spilling the hot coffee over your hands as you turn to see who has smacked you. You’re met with beautiful, big navy-colored eyes—dark tufts of hair spill over the head as the baby gently smacks your cheek again.

“Please don’t hit me, I have my kid.” a familiar voice speaks, “and don’t yell, please.”

You scoff, cocking an eyebrow up at Toji as he sits down in the chair next to you. “Are you seriously using your kid as a human shield?” Your ex shakes his head before looking over his shoulder, searching for someone.

“I cannot confirm nor deny that.” He cradles the babbling baby in his lap. “But if my wife is around, I will deny every word.”

“So you are using your child as a human shield.”

“Well, it’s working, isn’t it?”

“What do you want, Toji?”

He cradles his son in one arm, reaching into his suit jacket with his free hand. Toji pulls out a manila envelope and places it in front of you. Gingerly, taking it off the table, you open it and find the money you had left in the kitchen the other day. The money he almost ruined your relationship with Satoru over and the money you’d spent on him

He exhales deeply through his nose before clearing his throat. “What I did was wrong.” His son babbles, chubby little hands pulling the sleeve of his jacket. “I just wanted to apologize for everything that happened. I broke your heart, not once but twice. You, of all people, don’t deserve to be treated like that.” You cock an eyebrow. “And no, I’m not asking for your forgiveness. I just wanted to say that I was sorry. For breaking off our engagement the way that I did. For almost sabotaging your relationship with that brat over there.” His head jerks in Satoru’s direction.

“Yeah, you almost fucked that up for me.”

“Well, luckily, you guys worked it out.”

“Yeah, we did.” For the first time all week, you don’t feel the slightest bit of dread being near Toji. Maybe it was because you slapped the shit out of him, or perhaps it was because you felt as though your last confrontation was able to heal your wounds. “He’s a great guy.”

“Great for an escort.”

“Former escort.” You correct him with a smug smile. “Satoru sent in his resignation letter on Thursday after we talked.”

Toji’s eyes went wide before they softened with a gentle gaze that you hadn’t seen since high school. “Well shit, I guess I had him pegged wrong.” Taking another sip of your coffee, you giggle before resting your chin on your fist.

“I thought you said you were the greatest PI.”

“Nah, I’m one of the best.” Toni leans back, and in this light, you can see the slight discoloration on his face from both you and Satoru’s hits the other day. “I’m far from being the greatest. I wasn’t for you, but—“ he pressed his lips against his son’s head. “I’m trying to be a better person for this brat and my wife.”

“You always were an asshole.” Your point-blank statement had him wincing. “But if you hadn’t been an asshole, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. So thanks for being a dick.”

Toji tilts his head, chuckling. “You’re welcome, I guess.” A squealing babble has both you and Toji glancing down at his son. He gently gums at his father’s jacket, drooling over the fabric. Toji sighs and gently lifts the baby to stare at him. When he does, those navy blue eyes glance towards his chest that's straining against the fabric. His son smacks his lips in hunger. “Fuck, I gotta find my wife; the little shits hungry again. And I’d rather not have him gnawing at my pecs.” He stands and pauses before turning his child to face you.

The tiny human gurgles at you, tilting his head. “Uhm, Toji, I can’t feed him.” Your ex rolls his eyes so hard you can almost hear it.

“Yeah, I fuckin’ know, I just—“ he sighs, “this is my son, Fushiguro Megumi.” You can’t help but smile at his name; a blessing.

“Well, hello there, Megumi.” You gently pet his hair back. “It’s nice to meet you; whatever you do, don’t turn out to be like your father.”

Toji barks out a sharp laugh, nodding his head. “Yeah, that’s for sure.” Megumi laughs loudly, smacking his hands against your face.

“Toji!” Both of you turn to see a woman with dark hair waving at him.

“That’s the wife, we’re leaving.” He cradles Megumi into his side ever so gently. “I’m sorry again for all the shit I put you through in the past and well in the last week.”

“Well, all that shit led me to someone pretty great.” Your eyes drift back to Satoru, who's walking the little girl back to her parents. “All those years of putting up with you gave me some good karma.”

“For putting up with me, you deserve the world.” He scoffs hurriedly to join his wife. “Later.”

You wave goodbye to him, returning to your cup just as Satoru joins you. Two plates with cake in his hands. “Was that Toji!?” His ocean eyes meet yours, searching for any sign or tears of frustration. “The hell did he want?” He shoves the sweet cake into his mouth before offering you a bite, which you eagerly take.

“Mhm, he just wanted to give me the money he owed me.”

“What you should have given him was a knuckle sandwich.” Your soft giggle has butterflies swarming inside his stomach.

“I already gave him one, so I’ll gladly take the money this time.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He takes another bite of cake. “It would be a shame for you to bruise those knuckles again.”

You press your body against him, relishing in the warmth. “You know I don’t even care anymore. I got hurt in the past. I wallowed in my self-pity for over a year. But things are starting to look up for me now.” He hummed, turning to press a kiss against your forehead. “All thanks to my—“You hesitate, not sure if you want to be the one to put a label on your relationship.

“Boyfriend.” Satoru finishes for you, making your hearts swell with joy.

“Yes, my boyfriend.”

Satoru takes one last bite of his cake before wiping the mixture of whipped cream and buttercream off with his thumb. “Mmm, I love hearing you say that. It sounds so damn pretty rolling off your tongue.” You grinned, gently gripping his hand on your own, squeezing it as you stood.

“Wanna see what else I can do with my tongue~?”

Without hesitation, your boyfriend stands up from the table, following you down the hall. “Oooh? Is the sugar kicking in?” Satoru quickly takes the lead from you, dragging you down the hall and towards the guest rooms.

“It’s not just the sugar.” You correct him. “It’s you.”

The second you step into the room, and the door is slammed shut, Satoru’s on you, cupping your face, kissing you deeply with a guttural moan. You return the kiss, tasting the sweet, tangy remains of the cake on his tongue that worked its way into your mouth. You’re moaning, pushing his jacket off, letting it fall to the ground as you start working on the buttons of his shirt.

While you do that, Satoru runs his hands down your back, searching for a zipper or buttons, only to discover an intricate series of strings. He breaks the kiss, looking down at the saliva connecting your lips before he forces you to turn around so he can start working on the corset holding you hostage. His fingers struggle with the silky strings; he’s far too excited to sit down and take the necessary time to care for this.

“Hey, sweetheart, this isn’t a rental, is it?”

”No, I wish it was; I seriously haye the sequins, Toru.” You huff out, feeling his hands gently grip both sides of the back of the dress.

”So you wouldn’t be heartbroken if anything were to happen to it?”

”No, I guess I woul—“ RIIIP!! “Oh fuck!” You tumble as Satoru uses all of his strength to rip down the back of the dress—the thin fabric pools around your feet before Satoru turns you back to face him. The second you do, he drops to his knees in front of you and kisses down your bare chest, all the way to your lace panties. “S-Satoru~”

“Mmm, I wanna show you what I can do with my tongue.” He states flatly before tugging your panties down. “I get to eat two sweet treats tonight. Your amazing cake and your delicious pussy.”

His tongue instantly slides over your clit, making you grip his hair for support in fear that you are going to buckle over. Your hand grips the soft strands of hair, winning the softest of groans from him. While your fingers run through his hair, only make him move his tongue faster, with the sole purpose of making you cum.

Unfortunately for you, even if you were willing to hold off, Satoru is just too good at what he does. He teases your clit, going between gentle flicks, suckling on it, and writing his name against it with the tip of his tongue. His antics and techniques leave you nearly falling over, wishing you were on the futon. There was something about towering over him, though, bucking your pussy against his willing mouth that gave you a certain sense of empowerment.

You could see why men would like a woman on their knees. It was fun holding all of the power to make Satoru do what you wanted, to keep his face in place with you humping his tongue. You could have cum from just thinking of riding his face like this. Doing it though, fuck, it was so hot.

Satoru thought so, too; his jaw opened wide as he flattened his tongue, allowing you to use his mouth as you saw fit. His hand gently reached around, grabbing the fat of your ass, encouraging you to move and grind faster against him, wanting for you to cum. His squeezing you had your head falling forward, strands of your kiss-messy hair falling as you came hard, rolling your hips in time with the waves crashing over you. Satoru hummed happily, lapping up the juices you kindly offered him.

“Fuck, oooh fuck Satoru.” Your knees were buckling as he gently peppered hisses down your inner thighs. “I don’t think I can walk after that.”

”Hm? Oh, don’t worry about that.” He lifted you gently, placing you down on the futon. “I have a perfect place for you to sit.” You watched in awe as your boyfriend stripped out of his clothes and slipped on a condom before standing completely naked in front of you. “Now, what do you say,” Satoru laid down, grabbing your hips and pulling you to straddle him. “We pick up where we left off this morning before your friends rudely interrupted us.”

”Mmm, I love the sound of that.” Sitting back ever so slightly, you gently grabbed his cock, easing the thick throbbing tip inside of you. “Ah~ fuck I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how thick you are.” You cry out as you slowly begin to slide yourself down his shaft with a whimper.

”And I’ll never get over how tight and warm you are.” Large hands gently grip your hip, holding you as you sit down on him, his cock fully buried inside of you. “God, I can’t wait to feel how wet you are one of these days.” He hisses through his teeth as you slowly begin to rock back and forth on him. “Y-You fuck, sweetie, you feel so fucking good!”

“Yeah, so do you, Toru; I feel you getting bigger inside me.”

“And I can feel you clamping down.”

Knowing that he could feel just how good you were feeling was the only entice you needed to pick up your pace, your gentle rocks becoming a bit faster and harder as you gently began bouncing up and down on him. Your sudden increase in speed had Satoru choking on a raspy whine, his head tilting back as you placed your hands on his chest, steadying yourself. This position was one of your favorites. You were able to watch Satoru’s face contort with pleasure while his cock hit all the right places deep inside of you.

Satoru also loved this position because he got to see how relaxed you were, how he was able to grope your perfect tits, his thumbs brushing gently over your sensitive nipples. But his favorite thing about this position was being able to touch you. Not just your breasts, as great as those were. Running his large palms down your hips and over the top of your thighs, feeling your muscles twitch made happy, satisfied grunts leave his mouth. But it was when you interlace your fingers with his that got his heart pounding.

Your hips were moving faster, harder against him. Your smaller fingers held on to his for support, squeezing them gently as your tiny whines turned into desperate moans as your fucked yourself on him.

”Toru, oooh fuck~”

”Yeah, you close?” His fingers gave yours a gentle squeeze. “You gonna cum? Make me cum with you? I feel it coming back, god, I feel it; you’re going to make me cum so fucking hard.”

”Y-Yeah wanna make you cum, cum with me, Satoru, please I need it, need it so fucking bad.”

Satoru groaned, nodding his head as you slammed yourself up and down on him, his hips bucking up to meet you, fucking the tip of his cock directly into your cervix. You both are moaning so loud you know people will be calling the front desk to file a complaint, but you could care less about all of that. All that mattered right now was you and Satoru.

“Ooooh fuck me.” You cry out, releasing your boa constrictor grip on his hands, digging them into the bedding as you fall forward onto his chest. Your hips bounce up and down faster and harder, skin slapping against skin as your ass slams down. “Satoru, I’m gonna—“

”M-Me too, baby, holy fuck me too!” Satoru’s hands grip the sides of your hips, forcing you to move faster, which seems almost impossible. “Fuck, oooh fuck, fuck shit!” He’s gritting his teeth as you cry out into the side of his neck. “Oh, holy fuckin shit, baby! I’m cumming! Cumming inside you!”

With one final slam, both of your bodies go rigid as the orgasms hit you at the same time. Your pulsating walls have Satoru’s cock throbbing eagerly deep inside of you, filling the condom. Leaving both of you shaking, sweaty messes. Satoru recovers first, his hands gently caressing your sides as you lay all your weight on top of him. While you gently press open-mouthed kisses over his collarbone.

It isn’t until your muscles are protesting the position that you’re in that you finally move. Satoru helps you push off of him gently, laying you down next to his side. His fingers brush some of your hair back before he leans in, pressing a gentle kiss against your lips. You kiss him back burying yourself into his chest as his hands gently move up and down your back.

“So, how was our first date?” The gentle tone of Satoru’s voice has you happily humming.

“One of the best dates I ever had in my entire life.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one.” His hand continued to rub up and down your back gently. “I can’t wait to go on another and another, and god, I just want to go on countless dates with you.” He waits for you to respond, to say anything. When you don’t say a word, he peers down, finding you sleepily snuggled against him. Your hard work from the last few days has finally caught up to you. “Get some sleep.” He whispered, disposing of the condom before pulling the sheet over your body as he shut his eyes, too, following you into a deep sleep.

The next day was a blur at the inn. From packing your bags, checking out, and bidding farewell to your parents before you at Satoru took the train back to Tokyo. Where you both leaned against each other, still tired from the last week and the wedding from the night before. You only fully regain consciousness when the train pulls up to your stop. You grab your bags in silence as you slowly leave the train.

It didn’t feel real that the week was finally over. That tonight would be the first night you would be alone in a week. Part of you dreaded the night you were about to spend alone in your apartment. But you didn’t want to be clingy and ask Satoru to stay the night.

While your relationship had been entirely out of order, you didn’t want to ruin it right when it began. There would be another time for Satoru to spend the night with you. You are almost certain he would love to go home to his apartment and unwind.

So you stopped in front of the coffee shop where you met each other for the first time. Turning around, you adjusted the backpack on your shoulder, winning a slightly confused look from your new boyfriend. Swallowing hard, you hugged him tight before pulling back.

“Thank you again for everything.” You wet your bottom lip with your tongue. “I can’t thank you enough. Text me later. Maybe we could meet up for coffee or dinner sometime this week. Go on our second date.”

Satoru said nothing for a moment as you fiddled with the handle of your suitcase. “Hey.” He finally broke the silence, his hand gently grabbing yours. “Would now be too soon to take you on our second date?” Light shimmered in your eyes as Satoru put his sunglasses on. “I know this great spot for brunch.” You felt your heart swell as he rubbed at his slightly slushed neck. “I just—I don’t want to say goodbye yet.” Round sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, revealing his breathtaking eyes. “But if you’re too tired or busy, later this week would be fine, I gue—” You reach up, pressing your index finger gently over his lips, silencing him.

“Brunch sounds great.”

“Great!” Satoru beams gently, interlocking your hands as you make your way up to the surface. “You’re going to love it.” You gently squeezed his hand as you stepped into the bustling streets of Tokyo. A week ago, you never would have thought the man you had hired to be your wedding date would be taking you out on your second date, hopefully leading to many more.

Tag List! (AGE MUST BE IN BIO!!)

@arminloverlol @jamzywiththejam28 @gojoful @maskedpacific @ahseyy @kash77 @sadmonke @ari-maccha @sugurubabe @hyori2 @bluechocolatemint @itsinherited @dellappatca @therealestpussyeater @dead-at-tokyo @nvrgojover @drakenswifeyy @nealeart @yunho-leeknow @fire-child-kira @faeryminnyx @tqd4455 @harmonyflora @volkins181-blog @noukstmblr @lovley212 @stinkinstuffie @desihopelessromantic @witchbybirth @sonicsolos @lilbiguy @supsiii @rentheannihilator @bloopsstuff @pepepepepopopopo @pandoness @sw33cadav3r @rixo-19 19 @meguvmii @sxnkuna @mmeerraa @lemonintrovert01 @bunny-lily @kibananya @kamastar39 @rjreins @lzaj19 @tiredflame132 @manyno @oliiper @rengokushair @simp-plague @matchalatte06 @haesify @majanggeum @solarrexplosion @tbzzluvr @username23345 @demonboyssss @sakui1 @strychnynegirl

Forever Tag:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart

[kremlin]

@wikwalker hi sure yes anything to give me an excuse to procrastinate the post i should be writing right now. here are all teh drugs and how to manage them. you can trust me, a drug addict

first of all: https://www.erowid.org/ , erowid always

don't be afraid of drugs, if they're the right drugs, you should do them since they will be a blast regardless and overcoming fear is also good (but outside the scope here)

OK to do as much as you want: alcohol - social benefit greatly outweighs health effects, no reason to avoid if predisposed to abuse since that'll happen sooner or later. what can i say? don't be a fucking dork. when you start drinking, really overdo it as much as possible without dying and get a few real nasty hangovers under your belt so you know how much is the right amount to drink.

weed - innocuous enough to be fine but will make you stupid in the long term. make sure to only buy from a real drug dealer and never some legal institution. cut it out when you're a "real adult". don't smoke weed and watch TV routinely, go out and do things so you naturally grow to hate it. good to go through this as early as possible to minimize the time you spend as a cringe weed enthusiast

i guess those are the only two.

ok to do infrequently (annually): "lsd" - or whatever it is, probably not lsd, blah blah blah, if it works and is sold on blotter its fine and won't make you go nuts or whatever. opt for a better psychadelic imo. see psych rule at bottom of section

mushrooms - better than acid since you know what they are. rule of thumb is to always do more than you think you want. minimum 1/8oz. see psych rule at bottom of post

dmt - if you somehow have a dmt hookup you don't need to be reading any of this. lasts 10 minutes which leads to tendency to way overdo it, don't do this, my favorite webcomic artist is permanently crazy from exactly that. using a crack pipe is also not the uhhhh most dignifying-feeling thing to do either. it's harder than you think.

mdma - for use at electronic music event or rave. overuse causes brain lesions or something.

coke - wait until you're in your 20s, have maxed out your roth IRA for a couple of years in a row, and havent missed a car payment in a similar timeframe. better still if you've worked a very shitty low paying job and know the value of a dollar. if you still find yourself buying candy you're not ready. too expensive to be worth it to get hooked on. know that you are VERY ANNOYING to anyone who also isn't high. don't fuck around with the guy selling it to you. avoid discussing or thinking about business ideas. you can't afford to make it a habit + kinda turns you into a piece of shit after a while, but at least a very interesting one

ketamine - another sick drug that rules, but save it for a special occasion. don't try and go into the k-hole your first time

rule for psychedelics - you get one good strong trip a year and that's it, make it count, always opt for doing a bit more than a bit less. but don't make it a habit, otherwise you turn into a very stupid very annoying "hippy" style cliché and believe in ghosts, aliens, crap like that.

ok to try once prescription opiates/benzodiazepine (xanax), valium, this kind of shit - worth trying so you can go "holy shit, this stuff is way way way too good to ever use responsibly" and then never do again. especially if you're white. for some reason we just can't handle this shit. if a doctor prescribes it to you, idk, that's your call to make.

ayhuasca - this is just dmt in a different form. do some other psychadelics a number of times before you do this. once you realize the whole "substantial visual hallucinations" thing is made up, its time. do exactly this: -buy root online (legal). receive box of dirt -boil dirt into "tea" (read erowid for exact recipe) -take over-the-counter anti nausea medicine or anything that will give you a stronger stomach -drink tea (its nasty as fuck, get it down quick) -have someone bigger than you keep an eye on you for the next five hours. -have the experience, which is absurdly intense, has no bearing to the real world, etc etc. don't be a bitch and throw up, if you do it'll only last an hour or so. again there is no way to provide a consistent description of the experience except that you will meet god. you only ever need to do this once and never again. trust me

peyote/salvia/etc - try em if you want, you'll never ever want to again afterwords. these are drugs for idiot teenagers too lame to get real drugs. imagine being very very sick from poison and utterly terrified at the same time. No good

whippets/nitrous oxide - just find a dentist that uses it and don't bother creating hundreds of pounds of trash on your floor for this crap that lasts ten seconds. you have to understand the extremely short timeframe coupled with the cost makes zero sense. go to a phish concert parking lot and do some people watching -- you do not want to be these people. only use is as a motivator to get routine dental exam. also if you somehow manage to make it a heavy habit your fucking legs stop working, no shit, but they start working again once you quit.

don't ever do heroin/meth/pcp - is is truly a mystery why you should never do these 🙄

synthetic weed/k2/shit from the gas station - it is so funny that they sell this as "weed that won't pop you on a drug test". its not weed. it is some dubious chemical sprayed on yard waste. smoke it to have a terrible time and go nuts. only buy drugs from legitimate drug dealers!

kratom - anyone's guess as to why this is legal but it's heroin for pussies. its still heroin

dxm/cough syrup - do you ever wonder why it is exclusively teenagers robotripping? it's because it sucks ass. is like a cheesegrater on your brain in terms of health effects with repeated usage. you're better than this king

inhalants - these are at the bottom of the list for a reason. do not huff gas. don't huff paint. do not consume computer duster. not fun + fastest way to make yourself a complete, uh, (word i can't say anymore) and then dead

not listed quaaludes- unavailable due to no longer being manufactured. these ruled apparantly

sincis2c - unavailable due to not existing, i just made this up

amphetamines - cannot provide objective take here. they're my albatross, lifelong (posted 4:55am natch)

[psychwxrdd]

Chapter I - Ever since my baby went away, it's been the blackest day.

Summary: Everything goes downhill once Kate hurts Rafe Cameron. Well, should've known better than to break the Kook's king heart. Now she'll have to pay with her loved ones life.

Warnings: 18+, dni if you're a minor, death mentions, murderer, horror, stalker themes, possessive behaviour, ghostface! rafe, slasher, smut, obsession, yandere

🎀 - kate is an original character but you can imagine yourself instead

Who wouldn't want the love of the richest local boy?

Thats what Rafe Cameron always thought. Any girl would fall for him, he could get whoever he wanted. But you can not control your heart, and love caught Rafe out of guard. The moment he met Kate, it was over.

She was a kook, just like him, and almost just as rich as him. But they were nothing like each other. She was all Rafe would never be; A calm, sweet, empathetic person.

They met at Country Club, she was all by herself and Rafe couldn't take his eyes off of her since she walked in. He never saw anything this beautiful before, he was drooling.

"You fine bro?" Topper asked, tapping his shoulder, but Rafe didn't bother answering. He was mesmerized, he had to talk to her or he would go fucking insane. Kelce said something about her being someone's else girl already, but Rafe was already on his way to approach her. Not that he would care anyway, he loved a competition.

He could smell her perfume the moment he came a bit closer, and it was the best fucking thing he ever felt... He was already addicted. He could tell it was a very expensive one, and by her clothes and manners, he could tell she was a kook, too. But where was she hiding all this time? He was more than sure he would have noticed her earlier.

"Hey" he sat beside you, his figure much taller and stronger, making him feel even more attracted. "Why haven't we met yet?"

She stared at him, smiling sweetly. "I don't know? You tell me!"

After that day, Rafe couldn't spend a day without calling Kate. He needed to see her, to have her. Always texting and calling, inviting her to go out, to be with him, he wanted her around every single day. They became inseparable, mostly because Rafe was really pushy and wouldn't let her breathe properly.

This was the first time he ever felt so in love, so infatued, so sick for someone.

They were both laying on his bed, cuddling and making out. Kate made clear that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and Rafe seemed to be ok with that. They were still getting to know each other, but with benefits. They haven't got intimate yet, and that was the next step Rafe was willing to take further. He wanted it so bad that he was almost allucinating.

Things were heating up, Rafe was on top of her, grinding like crazy while unbuttoning her shirt and running his hands through the parts of her body he was craving so bad, when she suddenly stopped.

"Rafe...I, there's this one thing i want to tell you"

He was confused, but worried. "Yeah? What's it princess?"

"I never done this before..."

It took him a few seconds to realize she was a virgin. Holy shit. He couldn't be more happy. Couldn't hide his smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah...I don't think i'm ready" She avoided his eyes, blushing. He grabbed her chin softly, making her stare at his eyes.

"Don't need to pressure yourself, sweet thing, i can wait for whenever you're ready. I'll be more than honored to be your first and last one."

Kate had a weird expression on her face, one that made Rafe's heart tighten a bit.

"Yeah...Thank you" she said, getting up "You know...I think i should get going."

"Kate." He touched her arm, making her stare at him "I mean it, seriously. I will wait, there's no rush"

She smiled slightly, but he could tell she felt awkward. He caressed her cheeks, and gave her a ride home.

The next day, she didn't answered any of his calls or texts, so he showed up at her house. Nothing.

Two, three, four...A whole week passed by. Nothing. He was going fucking mad, why was she avoiding him? What happened?

He was at Barry's place, snorting some coke, when Barry said "Chill out Country Club, i know it sucks seeing your girl fucking a pogue but it's not how you're gonna solve it" while chuckling.

What the fuck was he talking about? Was he on something?

"What? Wh- The hell are you talking about?"

Barry then stopped laughing and stared at Rafe, realizing he really was clueless about the situation.

"You didn't knew Kate and JJ are fucking now?"

[siconetribal]

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 8

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Epiphanies, violence, crime fighting, and staffing issues

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

Sorry about the delay, I wasn't sure on where to go with the story for some time, and health problems started popping up more and more. Things are still hectic, but hopefully manageable.

Personal matters aside, I hope you all continue to enjoy. Thank you for all your support always.

A big shout-out to my friend who is a manager of a facility much like Citlalli. How you handle the various incidents that you do with such grace is inspiring.

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

It was moments like these that reminded him of the benefits of wearing his red helmet. The contents of his head remained intact and inside his skull at all times..

  Holy shit, she was the barista at the counter! Red Hood quickly got back up onto his feet, bobbing to dodge a hook before grabbing the bigger guy's sleeve, yanking the guy forward to grab his head. A sickening crunch followed by a cry of pain was satisfaction to the vigilante’s ears. The lumbering giant fell to his knees, holding his face. “It wasn’t that bad,” he scoffed, waiting for his opponent to get back up. The clang of metal was all he heard before watching the crook fall face-first into the pavement. “Now that, that would be pretty bad.” He shrugged, looking up at Nightwing. “You know I had him, right?”

“Is that what you call being plowed into a brick wall? I swear, the lingo of the youth these days.” The elder Robin ran a gloved hand through his hair, looking down at the unconscious bodies littered around. “Two, four, I think that’s all of them.” He nudged his foot into the one on his right, watching the body roll over. 

“Looks like it. Now we just gotta wrap ‘em up and drop ‘em off for the cops.” Red Hood motioned towards the street with his head. “I guess today wasn’t a total waste.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Dammit, I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner! This could’ve all been nicely packed and solved, stupid, stupid, stupid! He berated himself as they dragged the culprits to one of the nearby working lamp posts, tying them up. Clearly finding some Jane Doe of Gotham was not as easy as he thought, especially when he looked right at her and failed to realize it. His pride as a detective was bruised to a point that he was not sure if it would ever be restored. No way in hell I’m telling Grayson about that, I’ll really never hear the end of it. He glared at the guy with the broken nose. Once again, he was grateful that he wore a red helmet instead of a domino mask. His red cheeks and peeved expression was hidden to all except for himself as the two wrapped up for the evening.

Y/N lay crumpled and slouched on the old sofa of their apartment, exhausted and defeated. How many weeks had it been since all this started? How many more were left? She had just paid the first installment of the bill, a glorious moment, until she saw the damage to her bank account.

Life’s not fair, I get it, but this is cruel and unusual! She sighed for the umpteenth time, sinking into the old cushions a little deeper. He had to have noticed her, there was no way her attempts at anonymity were successful. Not to mention, he literally caught me falling! Ah, then there’s the stroke of genius Cici had. Really, a victim of Joker laughing gas?  Now he’s really going to think I’m insane and refuse to pay! Then again, maybe he’ll pity me enough and actually pay? He did leave a sizable tip between the two of us. She forced herself to sit up straight and crossed her legs.

“No, get it together! You need to talk to him and explain the situation. I’m sure we can come to a reasonable conclusion through proper discourse! We’re both adults, and he clearly has a savior/hero complex because he did help me at the bar. I’m sure he can be reasoned with when he’s not inebriated or asking a billion questions.” She nodded to herself. “The real issue is how do I find him and prove I’m not some nut case?” Her pursed lips slid side to side as she tried to figure out a method to meet up with him again.

Citlalli had suggested she just turn up at Wayne manor or Wayne Enterprises. It was a tempting option, but with her luck, Y/N had a feeling she was going to be labeled as the new arm candy of the billionaire playboy and that was nothing but trouble. The last thing either of them needed was a horde of paparazzi hounding them or breaking into their rickety apartment and potentially breaking whatever they got their hands on.

Was Bruce Wayne handsome? Yes, there was no denying that. But handsome hardly scratched the “worth it” surface. Just look at where she was stuck now thanks to one of his adopted children. No, good looks did not make things worth it, like Citlalli always said. It only made matters worse. “And triple-y so when a Wayne was involved.” She muttered. “What if he never returns to the coffee shop? It’s been a whole month since then and nada!” She threw her hands up in frustration and slouched on the couch once more. “Doesn’t help that Arkham_Knight has been MIA, too! None of the quests are as fun without him. But he did say he’s going to be out of town or something about no gaming access. I wonder if kicking Wonder Boy’s butt is still on the table if he knew who he was.” It was so very tempting to just give in to the siren call, but she knew better than that. For starters, it would ruin the dynamic between the two of them and one or both of them would end up in jail for attacking a trust fund kid like him.

Her thoughts were broken by the clatter of her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Grabbing the device, she hit the green button on the outdated device. “Hey Cici, what’s up?”

“Hey chica, where are you right now?” 

“At the apartment, sprouting on the couch like a potato, why?”

“Can you help me out, pretty please?” Y/N could hear the batting of her lashes through the phone.

“Hmmm, I dunno, I do have a pretty tight schedule between germination, wallowing in my financial crater, and staring out into the darkness.” Y/N tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she made her way into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Oh, woe is you, so busy.” Citlalli scoffed. “Anyway, I really need your help! I just got word that Ryan had asked Stacy to cover his shift and she agreed. Neither of them confirmed that he would be taking up her shift today, and he's saying that he asked her but never agreed to pick up from her. Yes, it's stupid, and I’m going to have to sit these over privileged brats down and explain to them how swapping shifts work again. But, that's not the point! I need someone in today and I thought you may want to pick up some hours to save up faster. Are you able to?”

“Yeah, ok, I’ll head in. Thanks for the chance, I really appreciate it. You don’t worry your little curly head about this and just enjoy the weekend away with your family. Send me any open shifts, and I’ll cover where I can, cool?”

“Miha, you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!” Citllali quickly dissolved into heaps of praises and prayers in Spanish out of sheer relief before she finally hung up the call and texted the information.

Another Saturday night shift left unmanned because why would they honor the hours they said they'd work? Not like I can complain though, I’m hitting overtime now and that means more money for me to get these payments over with. She made her way down the narrow hallway to her bedroom, quickly getting changed into a simple black tee and jeans, with the café apron tucked away into her backpack as she locked up behind herself. 

The shift had started out busy, the store filled with students and professionals burning the night oil fueled by caffeine and pastries. But as the hours slowly ticked by, the number of in-store customers dwindled down alongside the drive-thru patrons. The moon was now up in place of the sun, and no one really dared to be out too late in this part of Gotham. Only the foolish and desperate, like herself, remained at work because the company insisted on a 24-hour shop to help spruce the town.

Did she want to be out here at night? No. Was being at home in the apartment alone any better? No. At least there was surveillance here. Any trouble that could happen would be recording, and she would be safe, sort of. Shrugging off self-preservation, Y/N began to sweep the floors to pass the time. It was better than standing at the counter waiting for no one to come in. It was another dead night, nothing serious was going to happen.

[strongermonster]

i know we all complain about this every year but bro... taxes.

i paid money to have the canadian government send me some forms with information that they already knew about me but i myself did not even know, that i'm supposed to look at and go "uhh yeah i guess that's correct? i think? sure??" and if it's not correct, they blow up my house or something, and if it is correct, they go "yes that is correct. which we knew the whole time."

all the boxes are numbered, but they aren't in numerical order? "check box 10" which you would think would be after box 9, but it's actually after box 45 and before box 29, and also is the 3rd box down from the top middle row.

turbotax is like "hey man! this could cost you between 0 and $2 million billion dollars, but you won't know that until the very end 🤭🤫 also we hope you like sub menus inside sub menus in a side bar."

at one point they ask you some shit like "hey! do you qualify for the silly bitch workers comp mega buyback rinkydinky benefits?" which sounds like something my nana would click on and get defrauded, but it's the government itself asking me, and then the popup that allegedly explains what the fuck that means is like "if you stepped forward with your left foot 24.8% more than your right foot between 1941 and 2006 you can apply! and if you falsely apply to this we'll fucking kill you live on cbc"

there's so many goddamn fucking acronyms.

i am on 10mg of thc, which i don't think is tax expert approved and is most certainly not helping.

a beautiful smiling black woman in the bottom corner is enticing me to click on her for live help, i am assuming because she is Watching me click back and forth on the same pages 200 times and is understanding this as the cry for help it is.

there's a whole entire tax section that just goes "LMFAOOOO holy shit, that's what you make? in a year? lmfaoo you dirt poor piece of shit, here's some money back <3 lmfao maybe use it to get some skills and get a better paying job 💀💀💀"

then canada revenue agency sends me all these emails that are just going "LOG IN!!!!!!!!!!! LOG IN TO CRA RIGHT NOW!!!! RIGHT NOW LOG IN OHJHHHH GOD THEY MIGHT BE SSTEALING YOUR IDENTITYYYYYYY BUT WE CAN'T TELL YOU THAT UNLESS YOU LOG IN TO MEEEEEE"

but it's just some guy named bob hamilton saying 'thank you.'

please gott no one try explaining any of this to me, i am just complaining. i am stupid and i plan on staying that way. there is no cure for this.

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 10/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014

2015 – Bradley

                He doesn’t have the location feature in Grindr turned on by default. He can’t and won’t pick up while he’s deployed, not considering the fact that they have all sort of security hoops and communication blackouts, the location hasn’t ever been important. Except when he’s on leave and he’s looking at it now and Jas is in the same state as him. Not close by any means, but holy shit he’ll travel if he has to. Jas is meant to be deployed, however Texas is a huge state, and Jas has no reason to lie about being deployed. Unless their luck has changed, and Jas is somehow on leave and they’re in the same state. There’s a chance that Jas is on base, and if that’s the case it rules out the Marines and Coast Guard, but not Army, Navy or Air Force.

                He wonders if it’s even possible for them to meet. He would totally fly a couple of hours to finally meet Jas.

>>Not to creep on you, but I can see you’re in Texas.

>>You here long?

>>You have got to be fucking kidding me.

>>What?

>>I’m here for two days. Just here to attend my grandma’s funeral.

>>And avoid my family as much as possible.

>>Okay. Not exactly ideal meeting conditions.

>>Fuck.

>>I’m almost tempted to just ditch the funeral.

>>But I can’t.

>>Of course not.

>>God I hate this entire state.

>>Special leave to attend.

>>Turn around is tight.

>>I’m sorry for your loss.

                Bradley isn’t sure what else to say, because he hadn’t even realized that Jas spoke to any of his family members, had left them all behind when he joined up whatever service it is he’s in. 

>>Thanks. She was the last decent family member I had.

>>Not that I was the best grandson.

>>Another thing to feel shitty and guilty about I guess.

>>But I don’t think I’ll be coming back here unless it’s for work.

…            …            …

                He studies his calendar and the dates Jas has sent through of when he’s on leave. There’s not more than twenty-four hours of overlap with his own leave and he gets that people come and go and in a twelve-month period it’s fine, however this has been going on for several years now. The world feels like it’s going crazy and he doesn’t know if it actually is, or if he’s just paying more attention now, as he gets older and aware how world events will impact where he might be sent next. Where Jas might be sent next.

                Massacres.

                Shootings.

                Coups.

                Wars.

                Foreign airstrikes.

                And that’s just the first two months of the year. God, no wonder they can’t seem to catch a break. He scrolls back up to the pictures Jas had sent through last night and studies the tan lines, wonders where he might be to develop them. It’s not a comms blackout, but it’s close. They’re time zones apart now and it makes him regret not appreciating all the times when they were only hours apart.

                “Is that your guy?”

                “Jesus Christ! Natasha!” Bradley presses his phone to his chest and squirms away from where she’s trying to sit on his thighs in an attempt to pin him.

                “I mean, I’d be distracted too if someone sent me pictures like that. Maybe worth the money you paid for that ridiculous phone,” she says, poking him in the thigh.

                “He’s not my guy. Just… okay. Yeah. I guess it is my guy. He’s also a friend. He doesn’t need you drooling over him.”

                “A friend you have pretty regular sex with… And I’m sure you drool over him enough for the both of us.”

                “Yeah. But we’ve never met and it feels like we’re never going to. And we don’t even know each other’s names. It’s not a romance for the ages.”

                “And yet you admitted it’s one of your most important relationships. And not just because of the sex. That does sound pretty romantic to me.”

                “This is why people think we’re sleeping together, all you talk about is sex.”

                “I just said it was romantic! But I talk about sex because it winds you up.”

                Bradley groans.

                “Is it phone sex, when your still just sending messages? Isn’t phone sex when you’re actually on the phone with each other? Have you tried that? Does he have an accent?”

                “Why are you so interested?” Bradley replies, because he’s wondering now, and he hadn’t really thought about it before and he’s annoyed at himself. Wonders if they could talk on the phone, hear each other’s voices. Wonders if Jas has an accent, because he is Texan.

                “Because I’m bored.”

                “What do I have to do to make you leave me alone?”

                “There’s nothing you can do. You need to entertain me. Can I talk to your friend?”

                “No!”

                “I could find him and talk to him. You’ve given me enough details to find him I think…”

                “Why would you want to do that?”

                “The entertainment value alone would make it worth it.”

                He rolls his eyes but pulls a deck of cards from his pocket, because while he doesn’t think she would go through with it he also wouldn’t be entirely surprised if she did.

…            …            …

                His next deployment once again finds him on a carrier with Jake Seresin. Carriers are huge, there are thousands of people on board and yet Seresin seems to be there every time he turns around. Fortunately Seresin’s squadron are meant to leave in two months so at least that’s only one-third of his deployment he has to suffer through, and another squadron is cycling through in one-month, so between them he can at least try and avoid him. It works better in theory than in practice. Their downtime in the rec room nearly always seems to coincide and he’s not really listening to what the others are talking about until he hears Seresin mention going home to Texas.

                “You’re Texan?” Bradley asks, eyes shooting up to meet his and Seresin raises an eyebrow.

                “Born and bred. How did you miss that fact Rooster? It’s not like you haven’t heard my gorgeous dulcet tones.”

                “I guess I just never thought of it before, about where you’re from.”

                He doesn’t mean it as an insult, he just really hadn’t thought about it, because he was in Corpus Christi where everyone seemed to sound Texan. And Seresin sometimes doesn’t sound as Texan as he does right now. He’s pretty sure that’s the case anyway.

                “Proud Texan through and through, go back every chance I get.”

                “Of course you do.”

…            …            …           

                Bambi arrives like a breath of fresh air with five others, and he grabs her and swings her around and then brings her in for a tight hug.

                “God it’s good to see you.”

                “Good to see you too BB!”

                “Congrats on the promotion.”

                “Yeah, now you can stop being an asshole about it.”

                “Only with you. And Natasha.”

                “Yeah yeah. It really is good to see you. Come on, think we can get a party started up in here and do some dancing?”

                “I’m certain you can achieve anything you want.”

                “And don’t you forget it! You can play the piano for me later!”

                “As you wish…” Bradley says, and she cackles madly and he grins, glad that she’s here.

…            …            …

                Things get a lot less fun for a while, they’re in the air dropping bombs, patrolling airspace and this is what he’s trained for, years of training paying off, and it’s necessary, and he loves flying, and when it comes down to an enemy plane or Seresin being shot down he’s glad that Seresin made the shot. As much as he might find him arrogant and annoying he doesn’t want him dead. He does wish the guy would learn a little humility though, and he definitely snaps when he hears him re-telling the kill.

                “Judge, jury and executioner… You’re just a modern-day hangman now aren’t you?”

                The nickname of Hangman sticks to him, and he can tell it grates him a little, but then he starts leaning into it and somehow becomes even more arrogant and Bradley didn’t think it was possible but he’s been wrong before. Two weeks later Seresin and the rest of his squadron leave and he lets out a mental sigh of relief.

                Four months to go.

…            …            …

>>You ever kill anyone?

>>No.

>>You okay?

>>Probably not. Good enough to fake it.

>>You shouldn’t have to fake it.

>>I’m assuming this isn’t a hypothetical?

>>No. Not hypothetical.

>>I’ve probably been responsible for people dying before.

>>Just never seen faces before.

>>I’m having nightmares.

>>Shit. I’m sorry. Wish I could give you a hug.

>>Thanks. I’ve got J helping me out.

>>They aren’t going to keep me down.

>>I’ll be fine.

>>Jas. Take some time. Talk to someone.

>>And say what?

>>I throw up every time I think about it too much?

>>It’s okay to feel upset about it.

>>Yeah? Then why is everyone congratulating me like what I did was a good thing?

>>War on terror… fucking hell.

>>You’re on leave right now right?

>>Go and get laid?

>>If I could be guaranteed a good lay, I would take that advice.

>>You know what I feel like?

>>What?

>>Just… pinned down and fucked until I can’t think about anything except how I’m feeling physically. Nothing in my head.

>>I mentioned once about tying you up… would you let me?

>>Yeah. Of course.

>>No. Not of course. We can talk about anything and everything, but actually doing it is another matter.

>>You know what I want the most?

>>What?

>>Giving you what you need.

>>If that’s tying you to a bed that’s all well and good, but I can pin you with my body, hold you down while I just rub against you. Get you hard and desperate for it, just rubbing up against each other like horny teenagers.

>>Would be an interesting experiment to try out.

>>Yeah, especially if I was already stretched and lubed up, that potential for more just there on the edge for both of us…

>>But you’d have to figure out how to keep me pinned and get you dick in me.

>>God you’ve gotten so good at this.

>>All the practice with you baby.

…            …            …

                He’s back in a squadron with Natasha and for the first time also Hangman, and it’s a learning curve and a half because he remember Seresin and how he was at Top Gun a few years ago. He seems to have embraced the title of the only naval aviator in active duty to have an air to air kill, and all it does is make him wonder what has happened to Maverick, because surely he’s still active. The idea that he might have died and he wouldn’t know about it scares him, so he sends a carefully worded email to Ice and asks about them both. The response he gets back isn’t overly open or encouraging, but it is still a response and Bradley takes it as the small stepping stone it is. He’s still angry, but not angry enough to not want to know that Mav is alive and well. Ice too. It’s been over fifteen years and what he really wants now is answers. So he sends another email back, shares a funny story about something that happened and hopes for the best.

…            …            …

                “Every turn he assumes I think the worst of him.”

                “Don’t you?”

                “No! He’s an asshole, but I think he maybe uses that to cover up stuff.”

                “Hmm. Deep.”

                “Shut up,” Bradley mutters.

                “Maybe the two of you have more in common than you think.”

                Bradley looks at her sharply.

                “What do you mean by that?”

                “I can’t say. Just… keep an open mind I guess?”

                “Oh my god Nat. I don’t need an open mind,” Bradley says with an eye roll, putting sarcastic quotation marks in the air when he says open mind. “He made a pass at me.”

                “Oh, so you know he’s gay.”

                “And so do you…” Bradley observes.

                “Yeah well, best friend privilege I guess? I haven’t said anything about you though. Other than you being in a long-distance relationship.”

                “Oh, great, thanks for that.”

                “What?”

                “If I go and hook up people are going to think I’m cheating.”

                “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t think about that. Wait, how long have you known Seresin’s gay?”

                “Uh. Few years. When I was at Top Gun for the year.”

                “When you spent a large chunk of time bitching to me about how annoying he was?”

                “He asked me out for a drink after that. After most of that…”

                “Did he?! Really?” Natasha sits up and leans forward, eyes wide and excited.

                “I turned him down obviously.”

                “Why obviously?”

                “I was sort of an instructor at the time. Didn’t want a reputation of sleeping with people anymore than I want one as a cheater,” he says, poking his toes into her thigh in annoyance, although all she does back is pinch the delicate skin of his ankle and he yelps in pain.

                “So… you haven’t slept with him.”

                “Nope.”

                “Thinking about it now though right?”

                He groans and she laughs. It’s annoying because they both know she’s right.

…            …            …

                It wasn’t him. That’s the only thing he can think of when he hears the news. Who ever it was got the target wrong and hit a hospital. He hears all the talk about collateral damage but he still thinks he’s going to be sick. He didn’t sign up to kill injured people and doctors. He sends another email to Ice, wonders if he’ll have any magical words that will help him sleep at night.

…            …            …

                It hits him over dinner one night that Seresin’s first name is Jake. He has the same initials as Jas, is maybe born the same year and is also from Texas. That’s quite a few coincidences. He starts paying a little more attention. He knows Natasha thinks it’s because he wants to maybe fuck him, and okay, she’s not wrong, but it’s not the only reason he’s looking. Then he hears Hangman on the phone talking to someone, his sister he tells Natasha later when she asks (at Bradley’s not so gentle request). It’s that that makes him realize that’s all they are; coincidences. Jas doesn’t talk to his family and hates Texas, Seresin is the opposite. Seems about right.

…            …            …

>>How are you going?

>>Good. Didn’t need to vomit when a nightmare woke me up this time.

>>That’s what I call winning.

>>You and I have very different definitions of winning.

                Bradley walks into the rec room and Hangman is there on his phone, thumbs flying over the screen and he wonders who he’s talking to. He looks happy, clearly not as troubled as Jas is feeling, and he guesses they’re different people and have very different experiences.

                “Hey Hangman, you okay?”

                “Would you care if I wasn’t?” Hangman says back, and he’s smiling, but his eyes are glinting with a challenge. Bradley shrugs, because he can extend an olive branch, but shoving it down Hangman’s throat pretty much defeats the purpose.

                “I just thought I’d check in on you. Some people… struggle, when they’ve killed someone,” he doesn’t mean for it to sound accusatory, or detached, but they’re not friends. Maybe he should be checking in with Coyote instead, asking him if he thinks Hangman is okay. He’d definitely get a more honest answer, that’s certain.

                “I’m in the wrong profession if that’s something I’d allow to bother me.”

                “Okay. Just thought I’d ask.”

                God, he’s such an asshole.

[prettybrownelf]

Stress Toy

Non MLM/NBLM DNI

Pairings- Dabi x Male Reader

Summary- Being Dabi’s stress toy is all fine, till he comes home after disappearing and new emotions start to come out

Word Count- 1319

Content Warnings- Power Play, Hair Pulling, Friends with Benefits, Smut, Soft Dabi, Fluff

Being Dabis’ stress toy was a fascinating life. You’d met six months ago at some bar you can’t remember the name of.

He was tall and muscular and got on your fucking nerves, but you’d be dammed if you didn’t get hard every time you looked at him.

You knew he was a villain; who wouldn’t know? The bastard had his face plastered on TV almost every day. You didn’t care; he fucked well, and your a self-destructive little shit, so why not fuck the man with at least five counts of murder under his belt. Sure, he’s an asshole and sometimes crashes on your couch, but you get fucked as a form of payment, so you let him stay as long as he cleaned the blood off the floor.

Now, how you got here on your knees in the kitchen as Dabi moaned above you was a story you’re having difficulty remembering. You had initially been just getting up for a midnight snack, to which Dabi smugly replied with, “I’ve got a snack for you,” and shoved you to the ground.

The smell of cigarettes filled your lungs, making your throat burn more and more. Dabi knew how much bigger he was than you, and he loved pushing your limits. The feeling of him reaching the back of your throat almost makes you cum in your shorts as he continuously throat fucks you.

“Such a good little whore for me.” He groans, eyes squeezed shut. You couldn’t tell if he was saying it to get you off or if he just needed to remind himself that he was the one in control. It’s always the ones with trauma, huh?

As your throat starts going numb, he rips your head back, hand still tangled deep in your hair, the other hand jacking himself off over you. “You look so fucking good like this.” He murmurs to himself as he cums. He stands there for a second, taking in the sight of your tired face covered in his cum till he tosses your head to the side and leaves, saying something about liege business. Then, as usual, you’re left alone to catch your breath and clean yourself up. You aren’t hungry anymore.

Dabi doesn’t come home that night or the night after. You told yourself you weren’t worried because you hate him and use him to fulfill your sexual needs, even though you’ve been paying attention to the news a lot more than usual. Finally, after four days, at five in the morning, Dabi slams the door open, looking anything but ok. You nearly jump off the couch when you see him.

“Holy shit, where have you been?” ‘Why am I so angry?.’ He grunts and walks towards the bathroom, refusing to meet your eyes. “Hello? Do I look fucking invisible?” You swear this man is going to be the end of you. “None of your business.” He says, his voice was barely above a whisper. You decide to walk away before you break something or punch him.

How dare he disappear and then come back like that! You deserve more respect than that! Don’t you? Maybe you got too in your head about this relationship—too many thoughts for one night, nap time.

You decide to leave Dabi to his antics and lay in bed. Even if you don’t sleep, you can at least nap for a bit. As the calm darkness takes over your body, you feel yourself begin to slip into sleep. “Hey.” you can hear the gruff voice of Dabi from the doorway. Your eyes squint to see him in the darkness as you see him kick the door closed and walk up to you. For once, you were too tired to fuck him. “Dabi, I’m tired.” He laughs as he pulls your ass into the air. “I don’t hear the safe word, so I’m assuming you’re just a fucking brat.” You huff and don’t look at him. He wasn’t wrong.

You could practically hear him roll his eyes as he pulled you closer, pushing down on your back slightly so your arch for him. “Really, Dabi? I’m not in the mood.” You knew you were lying, but you’re mad at him. “Say the safeword then.” He repeats, pulling your sweats and boxers down at once. You gasp at the cold air on your already half-hard cock. “Such a fucking slut.” he curses as he begins pressing inside you. God, he was big.

Instead of pushing in slowly like usual, he wastes no time slamming against you. You swear you came right there as he starts fucking you. “Wait! Dabi, it’s too much.” You reach behind yourself to try and push him away. He quickly slaps your hand out of the way with a laugh. “Shut up and take it like a good slut.” He reached every fucking part of you he needed to to make you see stars.

All you could hear was the sound of skin slapping and your pornographic moans as you screamed his name. Right as you feel yourself reach another orgasm, he stops. You can’t stop the whine that falls from your mouth as you turn to question him. He’s silent as he suddenly flips you on your back. He looked fucking amazing like this. Messy black hair and burned purple skin. You expect him to get back to what he was doing, but he doesn’t. Instead, he stays there for a minute, looking down at you. Before you can ask him what’s wrong, he starts sliding back in, slower this time. You moan loudly at the feeling of him filling you again.

One arm props himself above you as the other holds your hip. Sure, you were enjoying this, but it was a lot different from what he usually did. If there was one thing you knew about Dabi, it was that he hated change. 'Why is he so soft all of a sudden?’ Slowly, he begins moving again, soft and rhythmic as you bucked your hips with him. His eyes are half-lidded as he lays his head next to yours, groaning in your ear. “I’m gonna cum again.” You’re entirely breathless as you feel his hand come to stroke your cheek. He puts his forehead against yours, tiny rapid breaths coming from his burned throat. “Such a pretty boy.” He whispers, making you feel something hot in your stomach. God, this feels so fucking good. You feel him start to get sloppy as he chases his orgasm, finally freeing you from overstimulation. He stays where he is for a moment, eyes seemingly making a picture on your face.

He swallows whatever words he was going to say as he pulls out and stands, leaving into the hall. Catching your breath seems more complicated. 'What the fuck was that and why weren’t we doing it before?’ The feeling of cold cloth makes you jump. Dabi holds his hand to your stomach in an attempt to keep you down. “Relax, I’m just cleanin’ you.” You nod a little bit as you stay still. It doesn’t take long for him to finish and throw the towel in your laundry basket. You expect him to leave, but instead, he hands you boxers and climbs in bed with you.

The two of you are silent for a while till Dabi finally rolls over and grabs you, holding you close to his chest. He was bigger than you and basically a heater. His arm lays above him as he plays with your hair, the other hand keeping you close as he rubs up against your sides. “Dabi-” You begin as he kisses you. “Just go to sleep, baby.” He whispers, leaving a small kiss on your forehead. “Ok.” You murmur as you scoot closer, if that’s even possible. His breathing was soft, and slowly, you fall asleep to the feeling of his fingers in your hair.

[ohbo-ohno]

Have you ever considered trans!fem Soap? And the way Ghost would use it to ruin her? Like they have been together for awhile and someday she gathers all her courage to tell him. And he doesn't react negatively but he also doesn't get it either. What he does get is that Soap really really likes being called a girl (he already knew that since Johnny always comes faster when he tries to demean him like that) and if that makes Soap even easier to own, why not? So he buys Soap all the pretty dresses (though it's mostly lingerie) and make-up and reaps the benefits. It's not like he cares about gender as long as Johnny still takes what Simon gives out.

And when he wants to punish Johnny? Gone are the feminine terms, he makes a point to use male terms for him in every other sentence. In bed and on the job. Makes Johnny feel even more disgusted with herself and drives her dysphoria to therefore unknown levels.

But he gives Soap a place to be herself. And he protects her, even if he doesn't understand that this is not just some kink for her. In time she brings up how badly she wants to transition. And at first, Ghost refuses outright, forbidding her from speaking about it again (Soap is distraught, but she wouldn't dare risk making Ghost leave her). But he starts to do his own research. And realizes that if Soap gains one more hole for him to fuck and even bigger tits for him to grab, Simon wins. Simon wins so hard. So he gives his okay for the transition. Says he'll even pay for it, arrange for everything to get done as fast and as good as possible. And he'll make sure she still has a place in the military after it. But. Simon gets to choose. Simon gets to decide what her cunt is going to look like and he gets to decide how big her tits are going to be. It's his investment after all. And since it's his investment, it's his decision to deny Soap hormones. Ghost likes Soaps body hair. Likes the way he smells after a work out. Likes the way his face looks, before and after he has punched it black and blue. So hormones are a no go. Soap doesn't want Ghost to not like her new body, does she? She agrees.

(Ghost wishes for the procedure to have a few hic ups. Enjoys telling Soap how fun it's gonna be if she gets nerve damage from the operation and will not be able to cum while he works her over. How her second hole is gonna be just as useless as her first, still just a boy pussy that can't get slick on its own. Delights in telling her how their coworkers are gonna react to the undeniable evidence of her perversion, how he will make sure that Soap will still be using the communal showers for the men.)

(Soap doesn't want her transition to be like this. Has to barf at the thought of finally having breasts and them being covered in hair. But she can't go on like this anymore, not with that thing between her legs, not with no real breasts. It will be better, she thinks. At least Simon will still own me)

i have nothing to add to this but it made me hot as hell so i'm posting it. holy shit

[daddyy333]

modern!mom!Robin x pregnant!reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 15.7k

warnings: ivf, reader is pregnant, reader has morning sickness, reader loses her appetite sometimes, reader passes out, bed rest, labor, birth, breastfeeding, ?

summary: you bring Robin and yours first child into the world

When Robin saw you holding and playing with Steve and Nancy’s baby for the first time, her heart swelled and her ovaries were on fire and she could physically feel the eggs shooting out of her ovaries. She knew biologically that obviously couldn’t work but she wanted nothing more than to have 100 of your babies right then and there.

It shocked her. She’d never felt that before in her life. She’d never really wanted kids before, and she wasn’t upset about the fact that her sexuality prevented her from having any. But now, god did she wish one of you could produce sperm.

Holy shit did her panties get wet when her mind drifted to the thought of you being pregnant. Your egg or hers, that baby would still be hers and just the hypothetical thought of knowing that you wanted to put yourself through that for her made her weak in the knees.

You’d look so beautiful, a little baby bump on you. God, she was dying to see it. But you two had never talked about kids before. Never once had either of you mentioned the idea of trying to have a baby one day, and that was because you both thought that if the other wanted one they’d say something and you’d talk about it.

But every time Robin tried, it was like her throat closed up and she couldn’t breathe. She was so nervous to ask about something like this, this wasn’t like buying a new couch or something, this was having a baby you were gonna be responsible for for the next 18 years.

You two had also watched Nancy go through that whole pregnancy and even visited for a bit when she was in labor, and you certainly didn’t look thrilled. Neither was she, but she didn’t want to have to put you through that if for some reason she couldn’t do it. It looked really painful and uncomfortable, sure the pictures were cute and the bump looked adorable on Nancy and would be 10x cuter on her own wife but she wasn’t sure if it was worth the pain it came with.

But, she’d started secretly and sort of accidentally saved up for the cost of everything for the last 5 months while she was trying to bring this up to you. Thankfully, you had set your life up right before meeting Robin and you were a CEO of *insert company of job here i don’t know high paying jobs ok I’m poor😭😭* and made enough to support you and Robin completely on your own but Robin would never do that to you.

You helped her get a job that definitely paid a little too much for the position but it was benefiting the two of you so you didn’t care. It was perfect for Robin and it gave you a little extra cushion in case something happened to the house or one of the cars.

You had a decent amount of savings racked up already, and these last 5 months Robin had racked up around 4,000 for the cost of getting pregnant through whatever medical procedure you two chose. Yea, that job definitely paid way too much. But Robin was hoping that by showing you how much she managed to save in a few months, that this was possible.

It took a few more days, but she finally worked up the courage to do it. She saw you talking to the neighbors 1 year old who had waddled over to you whilst his mom was getting stuff out of the car. You were getting the mail, when you heard a little babble and looked down.

“Hey, little guy…where’s your mommy, huh?” You asked, looking around and quickly realizing that the neighbor was doing something and was obviously busy. “You know, it’s dangerous to be wandering off like that. Could really scare your mom, and you don’t wanna do that, right?” You said and bent down to his level, smoothing his hair back.

He cooed and you smiled waving at him. A few minutes later his mom looked around and then called his name, obviously panicking. “Hey, hey….sorry, he wandered over here and I noticed you were busy so I just kept an eye on him for a moment” you said, hoping she wouldn’t be upset.

She hugged you and said “thank you, so much. Gosh, ever since he learned how to walk he’s been so curious. I really am gonna lose him one day, I’m gonna have to put him inside first next time” “of course, of course. If you ever need, my wife and I can probably watch him for you. She loves kids, and he seems like a sweet little man” you said and she smiled.

“Thank you for the offer, I might have to take you up on it one day” she said and you both chuckled. You talked a little more and then went back inside and Robin was curled up in a ball on the couch watching T.V.

You thought she was just being Robin, but in reality she was dying inside. She wanted to have a baby with you so freaking badly, she needed it.

She got up and walked over to you in the kitchen, on the opposite side of the little island and said “babe…” “what’s up, beautiful?” You asked and she took a deep breath. She cleared her throat and said “h-how would…what-…I- d-…”

“Robin…what’s wrong? What’s going on, are you okay?” You asked, cupping her cheek and trying to initiate eye contact incase for some reason she was having an anxiety attack or maybe seizure or a stroke or something. You always thought the worst when it came to Robin.

“I’m fine…I just…I really- okay, uhm, I-I really want a baby. Like so freaking bad. I don’t know why, but ever since I saw you with Steve and Nancy’s baby I’ve been going crazy and can’t stop thinking about having a baby with you. I-I don’t care who carries the baby, o-or babies if- i-if that’s what happens cause that can happen. But also it’d be really really really hot and adorable and just…god, you with a baby bump I mean- I-I’m speechless you know, you would look so beautiful with our little baby in there. But I could do it for you if you don’t want to. Nancy was in a lot of pain you know, and that doesn’t exactly look like a whole lot of fun and also she looked like she was in a lot of pain before she started pushing, I can’t even imagine how much it would hurt to push an entire 8 pound baby out. But for you, oh for you I’ll have 100 babies if it makes you happy. I’d be just as happy to carry our baby and grow it and go through all the pain and feel it kick and scream and cry and tear myself in half to push it out for you. And- and I know it can be expensive, but if we save up for a few months together and take some of our savings out we can be like…6 months pregnant by this time next year. Or- or not. We don’t have to, if that’s not what you want. I know babies are a lot of work, I just- I had to get it off my chest, you know…um,” Robin said, you could tell she was nervous as shit, you wanted to giggle at the memory of her being just as rambly on your wedding day.

You stood there in shock for a few moments, sure you’d thought about having kids but you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted them. You were kinda scared to be pregnant if you were being honest, and that was one of the perks of being married to a woman, you’d never have to worry about it.

It was all just so…stressful. The thought of carrying a child, a human inside of you and your body stretching that much to accommodate it, sounds creepy and painful. You hated surgery, and definitely didn’t want a c-section, you didn’t want to be within 100 feet of a scalpel. An epidural is literally terrifying, you were pretty sure Nancy said that when she finally got it she literally couldn’t feel anything, and you really didn’t want to lose feeling in any part of your body and be stuck in a bed for who knows how long. You were a little like Robin in that sense, when you were panicking or really really stressed about something you wanted to move and pace around.

It was all just so much to think about, being pregnant and having a baby is a big deal. But…the way Robins face lit up when she talked about you being pregnant and mentioned you having a little bump. She obviously really wanted this, and it definitely made you want to give her a baby. All the “what if’s” were killing you, but you might just do it but only because it’s her. You’d do anything for her.

When you finally came back from your little la la land of thinking, Robin wasn’t in front of you anymore. You heard small sobs in the bedroom, and panicked. You ran to the bedroom, carefully opening the door so you didn’t startle her and she had crumbled to the floor, knees to her chest as she cried.

“Baby, baby hey, come on, it’s okay. Don’t cry, please sweetheart. Robin, you have to calm down” you said and held her face in your hands, wiping her tears away. She shook her head and said “no- no I- I fucked e-everything up…a-and now you pr-probably hate me-”

“I don’t hate you, Robin. I could never hate you if I tried. Please, sweetheart, I just want you to calm down so we can talk” you said and she let out a shaky breath. She whimpered and you pulled her onto your lap, hugging her tight and trying to calm her down.

“I didn’t mean to scare you…I just…having a baby and being pregnant is really big, you know? It’s scary and also really expensive. I’d do anything for you, Robin. I know this is very important for you, and I’m sure you’ve put a lot of thought into it and you’re ready for it…so I think that yes, w-we can try to have a baby. I’ll carry it, I don’t want you going through that kind of pain. Plus, you have a lot going through that little head all the time and you still work hard to regulate your emotions and the things you say and those pregnancy hormones would really mess up your whole system up there, and I don’t want you to have to buy new maternity clothes that trigger your sensory issues and you’d probably be way more uncomfortable being pregnant than I would and would probably have a heart attack during the labor and I don’t know I just- I don’t think you’ll be happy if you were pregnant. I’d rather do it, I could probably handle it better” you said, trying to say the right things that wouldn’t make her more upset.

“That’s not fair to you….” she mumbled into your neck, sniffling softly. You sighed and said “maybe…but I don’t want to put you through 9 months of hell when I could do it instead. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and I know being pregnant would change your body and the way you live in ways you might not be able to handle bub” “But…but what about you…” she asked and you sighed.

It took a week to convince her to let you be the one to have the baby, and then you guys really started saving up for it. You saved up enough to do two rounds, which took a year and a half. Then, you made appointments and everything went into motion.

You and Robin would both be going through the process of retrieving and fertilizing both of your eggs, that way you had plenty and you could keep them if you decide to have more babies in the future. However, you were going to be carrying Robins egg fertilized by whatever donor you chose and if you two decide to have more kids, no matter who carries it, it’ll be your egg. You had already chosen the donor so the eggs were fertilized and implanted and it was time to wait.

You didn’t want to test before the official blood test you would have at the doctor's office, you knew it would only stress you out more. You could tell Robin was getting antsy, she really wanted to know. But for your benefit, she’d wait a century if she had to.

The first attempt failed, and god did it hurt. You and Robin both knew very well that it didn’t always take the very first time, I mean hell this is the first time your body had ever come in contact with a fertilized egg. You just really wished that it would’ve taken the first time, you were really worried you would struggle too much and wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and make your dreams come true.

The second one failed and you wanted to give up, and you almost did. Maybe you weren’t meant to have kids, maybe this was god telling you not to have kids. It felt stupid, but you couldn’t help how you felt. Why couldn’t your body just accept these stupid eggs? It shouldn’t be this hard and this painful.

You gave it another try and the third one took, and you were so so so happy. That time you had to go alone to the doctor because Robin accidentally agreed to go on a work trip for her job and didn’t realize your test was on one of the days she would be gone.

She didn’t want you to tell her over the phone, if it was negative, she wanted to find out in person. By the time she got home, you were still only 5 weeks pregnant, but you knew you couldn’t lie and say it failed again as a part of some sort of surprise, you guys had been waiting for this for way too long.

You set up a camera in the living room facing the front door so you could get her reaction on video to watch till the end of time, and quickly ran back to the bedroom. You were nervous and excited, you couldn’t wait to tell her.

“Babe? I’m home!….Babe!” She said and you came out of the bedroom, the ultrasound picture in your back pocket. You ran over and hugged her, she picked you up and spun you around a little and you giggled, kissing her a few times.

“Are you okay? How did everything go?” She asked, you knew what she was talking about. You bit your lip and pulled the ultrasound picture out and she furrowed her eyebrows. You chuckled and pointed to a little blob on the picture as you said “that….is our baby,”

You both immediately teared up at the words “our baby”. “Oh my god…stop, stop please- are you serious? You’re pregnant?” She asked, tears already spilling down her cheeks. You nodded and said “yea…we did it babe”

“Oh my god” Robin said and hugged you, sobbing into your chest. You whimpered as she buried her head into your neck, placing a gentle kiss to her hair and holding her as she cried. She bent down and kissed your belly, she knew that the baby couldn’t hear or see or even think yet but she was just so happy.

You placed a hand on her head, wiping your tears as she said “hi, baby…mom loves you so much already, you don’t even know” “yea she freaking does” you said and she wrapped her arms around your waist so tight, she was just so happy and excited to finally be having a baby with you.

She talked to the baby every day, and it made you feel so loved. She was attached to you at the hip now, and even though your stomach was still the same as before and you literally weren’t even having symptoms yet, knowing that there was a baby in there made her go crazy.

She was so proud of you, and if you thought she worshiped the ground you walked on before she really did now. You and that baby were her main priority now, she never went more than 3 hours without trying to call you at work to check on you.

You started having morning sickness at 7 weeks, at first it was okay but by your first appointment at 10 weeks you couldn’t keep a meal down. Robin felt so bad, it even made her cry sometimes. She felt like somehow it was her fault, like she shouldn’t have mentioned having a family or you being the pregnant one because now you hated eating and was starting to lose weight because of it.

They gave you medication to help with the morning sickness and vitamins to help support your body and your health during the pregnancy and you got to hear the heartbeat, which made Robin cry like a baby. She filmed the heartbeat playing and even took a few pictures with your belly in the frame, still trying to really process that you’ve got a precious little angel in there.

You smiled as you got your blood work done, seeing her outside waiting for you with a grin on her face, the volume up just high enough that you could tell she was rewatching the recording of Baby Buckley’s heartbeat. (You decided to start calling them that since when you got married you hyphenated your last name with Robins and it also sounded really good. “Baby Buckley”…literally melted your heart every time you said it)

You couldn’t believe she was this happy just to be with you and experience this with you and have this baby with you. You loved that about her. Nothing about your relationship was awkward or questionable, her love for you was so real and so genuine it was overwhelming sometimes.

You started showing a little about a week later, there was a sudden bloat that wouldn't go away which you realized was your bump starting to grow. You didn’t really say anything to Robin, but she noticed anyway.

“Babe…babe, come here!” She said as you were trying to leave for work. You hummed and turned around, waiting for her to say something. She walked over and lifted your shirt up, gasping slightly. It wasn’t that big, and you would only be able to tell you were pregnant if you already knew, but Robin was already crying about it.

“Y/n, look!” She said, placing her hand over your belly, sniffling. You chuckled and said “I know, bub. I noticed it this morning” “why didn’t you say anything?!” She said with a playfully annoyed tone in her voice.

She kissed your tiny bump as you said “it’s not much of a difference, I didn’t even think you’d notice” “that’s our baby, y/n/n. Of course I noticed. Oh, hi baby buckley!” she said and kissed your belly again, murmuring about how much she loves the baby.

You tried to leave for work but she grabbed the Polaroid and had to take a picture, and yes you were late for work, but you just loved seeing Robin so happy. You were so thankful to have her with you through all of this, you honestly don’t know what you’d do without her.

It felt like you grew overnight, because by the time you were 4 months, just barely into the second trimester, you were buying new clothes because your bump had gotten too big. Robin was obsessed with it though, constantly having a hand on your bump and talking to the baby about any and everything.

You barely had to tell the group about the baby, it was pretty obvious by how much more Robin was clinging to you and the fact that you were using the bathroom quite a lot due to morning sickness and the baby sitting right over your freaking bladder. They were super excited though, Steve’s son was way out of that baby stage and was more toddler than baby and they certainly missed when he was all small and bundled up in his swaddle like a little football.

You did have to explain the process, especially to the younger kids. Steve, Nancy, and Eddie sorta had an idea of how it happened, but the younger ones thought sex was the only way to make a baby. They were shocked to find out it was possible for you to be carrying a baby that was biologically Robins, it kinda freaked Eddie out.

As you got bigger, Robin was going crazier. You looked so beautiful, running a hand over your belly absentmindedly as you murmured things to the baby here and there. Not to mention, your boobs had swelled up some already and Robin was drooling anytime you wore a remotely low cut shirt.

She swore to god you were glowing but most days you felt like crap cause the morning sickness still hadn’t gone away and everything was achy and you felt like just a blob of swollen everything. She was so so so excited to meet them, it felt like time had flown so fast yet not fast enough.

Then, you felt kicks. You had just gotten to work and you were already moving a lot this morning, a lot more than usual but you weren’t in too much pain so it was okay. You were in the elevator, having to go all the way to one of the top floors to talk to a coworker.

You felt an odd swoosh or something in your belly and furrowed your eyebrows, placing a hand on your belly. A few moments later you felt it again and then felt what you thought was butterflies. You were so confused, you’d never felt this before.

You kept feeling it that whole time, and when you got back to your office you were starting to get worried. It’s been half an hour, and these flutters and swooshes hadn’t stopped for more than five minutes at a time. You sighed and called Nancy, chewing on your lip nervously.

You explained the situation to her, and she screamed with happiness. Your eyes widened and you said “what- what is it? Nancy, seriously I’m getting worried. What if somethings wrong with the baby?” “No, no oh my god no it’s kicking! Your baby is kicking!” She said and you gasped, looking down at your bump.

“What? No, I’m barely 5 months! The doctor said I wouldn’t feel them till 6 most likely” you said and Nancy scoffed over the phone. She sighed and said “that’s total bullshit, I felt them at 4. Everyone’s different, and almost all of the moms at daycare felt them early on too. 6 months my ass”

“Oh…fuck, time is flying” you said, tears filling your eyes as you felt those soft little kicks again. Nancy chuckled and said “I know, I know. You get pregnant and you can never blink or you’ll be at your kids high school graduation”

You talked a bit more, cried a little and then got back to work. They started kicking again after you ate lunch. It made you chuckle, it felt so weird yet incredible to know your little one was growing and getting bigger and stronger.

You then began to cry again, because Robin didn’t get to feel the first kicks. She’s been waiting for them since before you even got pregnant, it was gonna break her heart. You let out a shaky breath, rubbing your bump as the baby kicked some more.

When you got home, you burst into tears as soon as you saw Robin. She immediately ran to you, hugging you and trying to calm you down. You whimpered and cried into her neck, mumbling about what had happened but she couldn’t understand.

“Babygirl, you have to calm down and tell me what happened or I can’t help” she said, rubbing your back. You rested your head on her chest, sobs still racking your body as you took deep breaths with her. You didn’t wanna tell her, but you knew she wasn’t gonna let you not tell her what had caused you to cry this hard.

“I-I uhm…oh god, I c-can’t” you said and she kissed your head and continued to soothe you, she’d stand her all day if she had to. You felt so bad, like somehow this is your fault. You felt a kick and nearly fell to the ground, you couldn’t stop your crying and that only made it worse.

“Babe, babe…hey okay come on let’s sit, come on…you gotta breathe y/n, please. Deep breaths, come on. I can only help you if you calm down and talk to me” she said, wiping your tears away as you sat on her lap, sobs still racking your body.

“I…I- fuck…you’re gonna h-hate me” you said and she shook her head. She smoothed your hair back and said “no, no I could never hate you…no matter what, baby, I’ll always love you. You could never do anything to make me hate you”

You let out a shaky breath, resting your head in the crook of your neck. She took off your blazer and your shoes, letting you relax a little. “I-I- I felt th-the baby kick for the first t-time today…” you finally said and she gasped, sitting up straighter.

“What?! Baby, that’s so good! That’s amazing, why are you so sad?” She asked and you whimpered. A sob slipped out before you said “b- be-because you didn’t get t-to feel the first k- kic-kicks”

“Baby, hey it’s okay…of course I would’ve loved to feel their first kicks but I understand that they were gonna start kicking whenever they wanted. I was never guaranteed to feel those first kicks, I know that. I’m not gonna hate you, it’s not even your fault. And I don’t hate the baby either, I’ll probably get to feel thousands of other kicks before our little baby Buckley gets here” Robin said and you whimpered.

You kept crying most of the night, you just felt so bad that she missed it. Eventually she realized there was no soothing you completely so she just laid with you, poking your belly to make the baby kick. She was never gonna get used to that.

You later found out it was a girl and you were so happy, you wanted a little mini Robin more than anything. You had so many weird cravings, but Robin almost never made you feel bad for them. Even the especially gross ones.

Orange’s and ranch nearly made her barf. But you looked so happy she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. You also couldn’t stop eating ramen, holy shit you’d do anything for ramen most days. You craved McDonalds a lot, especially the fries. You’d even woken her up at 2 in the morning for it one time.

You woke up starving, and whilst looking for food you noticed the McDonald’s wrapper in the trash from a few days ago and instantly you were 10x hungrier. The baby seemed to be too, she was kicking quite a bit.

You were near the end of your 6th month of pregnancy, which meant the baby was getting even bigger and you were starving 24/7. It’s like everything you ate was only for the baby.

“Babe…Robin…” you said and she gasped, trying to sit up. She cleared her throat and said “wha- what’s wrong? Are you okay, is she okay?” “Yea, yea we’re fine, baby, sorry…uhm…I’m just- I-I’m really hungry and I was wondering if you could take me to McDonald’s” you said and she chuckled.

She rolled over and kissed your bump, caressing it softly. “Yea, babe I can take you to McDonald’s” she said, her voice all raspy and sleepy which made you wish you still had the energy to have sex with her.

She washed her face a little and slipped some shoes on and you were out the door, her hand on your belly as she drove you to McDonalds. She bought you nuggets, fries, and a milkshake even though you said you didn’t need all of it. She had to make sure her girls were fed.

She also had to see the smile on your face as you took your first few bites of the fries, closing your eyes and smiling. You both chuckled and you placed a hand on your bump as you said “she’s kicking like crazy, oh my god” “really?” She asked and you nodded. She placed a hand on your stomach and smiled, the baby kicking up a storm underneath her hand.

“Oh my goodness sweetgirl…calm down before you hurt mommy” she said and you chuckled, taking a sip of your milkshake. You loved when Robin talked to the baby. It made you fall in love with her so much more, you didn’t know how much your heart could handle

You felt like you never stopped growing, constantly needing new clothes. Now that you were pretty much in the third trimester you were really starting to feel the pain. In your hips, your back, your feet, even your stomach sometimes just from how much it had grown in such a short period of time. The baby kicked so much, you were sure that she was the reason your lower belly was so sore all the time.

Robin obviously noticed, and constantly gave you messages. She didn’t realize it would hurt this bad, she knew it was painful but it broke her heart to see you tear up sometimes when you came home from work because of how bad it was.

She was the best partner you could’ve had. She took care of you, really took care of you. She ran you baths most nights to relax your tense and sore body, rubbing your feet when you needed and rubbing your back almost every night before bed. She was constantly massaging lotion into your belly to make the baby relax and eventually make you relax as well and fall asleep. That was her favorite way to fall asleep with you.

It was getting a lot harder to work the farther you got into the pregnancy, especially during the last few weeks before maternity leave. By then, you were 30 weeks and felt like death. Even though you were getting paid maternity leave you knew babies were expensive and decided to go on maternity leave at 35 weeks instead of now or any earlier so you’d have enough money to take care of your new family of 3 for a few months.

What you didn’t mention to Robin was that you’d been feeling so weak lately, and your appetite was surprisingly disappearing which made you dizzy and you were being super overworked all the time. You were in a lot of pain too, the baby was moving a lot and jabbing and kicking at your ribs sometimes, even knocking the wind out of you occasionally.

You felt so stressed all of a sudden like you needed more on your plate, you felt like you weren’t prepared at all for this baby and like you were gonna get fired at any moment and everything would crash and burn and this baby would die because you couldn’t keep it together.

You knew that these thoughts were way out of line and just things made up in your head, but at the same time it felt so real. It even kept you up at night sometimes. What if you did all the work, paid all these fees and got to the end and she was stillborn. God, it would kill you. It would literally kill you.

Last night you literally didn’t sleep at all, not one bit. You were trying for 3 hours before you got up and started watching T.V and then cleaned the kitchen and then reorganized the spice cabinet by alphabetical order and finally it was 5am and you could start getting ready for work.

You showered and Robin rubbed lotion all over you, especially in the places you couldn’t reach, kissing you softly and smiling at you. She obviously didn’t realize you weren’t with her almost the whole night, she usually did but she must’ve been in a deep sleep last night.

You left for work, skipping breakfast, and found out the elevators weren’t working. You took the stairs which literally knocked the wind out of you and you had to stop twice, one because you were practically wheezing and then the baby was kicking so much and you didn’t want to move.

You were light headed by the time you got to your office, your stomach rumbling. You didn’t wanna eat just to throw it back up, everything just made you nauseous lately. Maybe this was punishment or something for not doing better, having the stupid first trimester nausea and morning sickness all over again.

You felt so exhausted by noon, barely able to stay awake. It was time for lunch which you usually tried to skip but you had to eat something today. You made it down 4 flights of stairs before you passed out and fell, down a few steps and to the ground, barely able to breathe.

You were only slightly conscious, your eyes were so heavy you couldn’t open them and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You tried to call out for help but you couldn't. You felt so weak. Eventually, you couldn’t fight back anymore and you were completely unconscious, barely breathing and praying to god the baby would be okay.

Luckily someone found you less than 10 minutes later and got an ambulance for you. By then your lips were turning purple and you were really pale and you practically looked dead. You still had a pulse, thank fucking god, but paramedics couldn’t immediately tell if the baby was okay.

They gave you CPR and oxygen the entire way to the hospital, and you sort of woke up a few times but you didn’t remember it. Based on the ultrasound, everything looked okay so far and the baby had a heartbeat and was even kicking.

The coworker that found you called Robin and instantly her heart dropped. She’d never started crying so fast in her life. She almost forgot to put shoes on because of how fast she was trying to get out the door.

She nearly got caught speeding by police and almost crashed twice but she made a 17 minute drive in 9 minutes. She ran to the front desk asking for your name and they said you hadn’t arrived yet. That was a huge mistake.

Robin immediately broke into sobs, resting her head on the desk as all the emotions came flowing out. The nurse was trying to calm her down and comfort her but she was on the verge of an anxiety attack and she couldn’t regulate her emotions no matter how hard she tried.

The commotion at the E.R entrance caught her attention and she instantly recognized that shirt. You hated that shirt. Hated it. Said it was the ugliest thing in the store, but also was one of the few things in your size at the store so it was either that or go to work naked.

She ran to you, not letting any nurses stop her. “Baby…baby- y/n, hey, hey come on, wake up! Wake up! Y/n…” she panicked, cupping your cheek and placing a hand on your bump. You were so pale, so fucking pale. Your lips were purple and your body wasn’t as warm as it should’ve been.

“No- no hey s-she’s not dead right? S-She can’t be- I- oh my god-” Robin said and the paramedic said “Miss, I understand you're scared but you have to let us do our job. We’re gonna try our best to help your wife, please step aside”

A nurse came over and slowly guided her to the waiting room, calming her down a bit before she let her be. Robin grabbed her phone from her pocket with a shaky hand, calming Steve’s number. “Hey, Rob…what’s up?” He asked and all he got was a shaky breath and a whimper. He immediately panicked, Robin had only called him crying 3 times before.

The first time was when you had your first big fight, Robin forgot a date and it made you really mad because you had already felt like she was pulling away and just used you as an experiment. She was so scared that day, she really didn’t want to lose you.

The second time was the night before you got married. She nearly had an anxiety attack, worrying that you didn’t really want this and eventually you'll realize your mistake and leave her. Steve threatened to call you so many times but Robin didn’t want to mess the plans up.

The most recent time was the day you told her you were pregnant. That was less of a sad cry and more of a happy cry, but she didn’t call crying just because.

So now, you can imagine why he’d be nervous. She let out a small sob and said “S-Steve…” His heart broke, she sounded so scared and so hurt. He instantly responded, softly letting her know he was there.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? Are you okay? Is y/n and the baby okay?” He asked and she bit her lip. She cleared her throat and said “can y-you…come to th-the hospital ple-ease?” “Yea, yea of course I can…I’m on my way I’ll see you soon” he said and she hung up, closing her eyes as she tried to calm herself down.

She couldn’t stop panicking. Knowing you might be hurt, or the baby might be hurt, was killing her. Steve got there as quickly as he could, not breaking as many traffic laws as she did but he got there faster than he should’ve.

Once he saw her he ran towards her, bending down and meeting her eyes as she looked at the ground. “What happened? Did something happen to y/n?” He asked. It broke her.

She instantly looked away, beginning to cry again. He pulled her up and hugged her, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest. He sat down and let her curl up in his lap and cry, he knew that whatever happened was being taken care of by doctors so getting her to tell him why she was in the waiting room of a hospital wasn’t his main concern at the moment.

She was so scared, so fucking scared. What caused this? Was she not taking care of you well enough? Did she do something to cause this?

“She…s-she passed out a-at work…fell d-down the stairs a-a little and…a-and passed o-out” she said and whimpered, she just wanted to know if you were okay or not. Steve smoothed her hair back as he said “hey, hey it’s gonna be okay. She’s strong, so so strong. You remember when Nancy passed out when her water broke, she was just fine”

“This- th- t-this is different. Y/n…s-she’s weak…her body- i-it gave out on her. N-Nancy was just- she was i-in shock…y/n might be sick- s-she could be dying. I can’t- I-I can’t lose them, Steve…” Robin said, her mind beginning to go numb, which also helped her stop crying.

“Y/n is going to be just fine. She’s in good hands, these doctors know what they’re doing” he said and Robin shook her head, sniffling. She bit her lip and said “I should’ve n-never said anything…I-I knew this was a-a bad idea. O-Of course she was gonna get h-hurt. I am an…a-awful wife”

“Hey, hey no you’re not. Neither of you could’ve predicted that something this scary was going to happen. This happens to many pregnant women all over the world, there’s no way they don’t know how to help her. You’re an incredible wife, Robin. Y/n is so lucky to have you, she can’t possibly know how lucky she is” he said and Robin shook her head, picking at her nails.

It took an hour for them to call for the family of Y/n Buckley, and Robin immediately got off of Steve and got to the doctor so fast her feet were on fire. Steve jolted slightly, he had fallen asleep a few minutes ago and definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Is she oka- i-is the baby okay? What’s wrong with her? Is she gonna be okay? How did this happen-” she said before Steve came up behind her and just slowly put his hand over her mouth. She turned around, eyebrows furrowed and eyes full of worry. “Let the doctor talk, Rob” he said and moved his hand back down.

“Your wife is okay. She passed out from what we presume to be exhaustion, as well as lack of food and she was dehydrated. It seems as though the pregnancy has taken a sudden toll on her body, causing her medications to keep her from throwing up and keep her appetite up to not work as well. She hasn't really eaten in a while, we could tell so we want to keep her 48 hours and see her eat 3 meals a day, or at least 2. She is going to have to go on bed rest for most likely the remainder of the pregnancy, the fall caused some bruising on her lower back and her right side, and her body needs to gain it’s strength back to prepare for labor and birth. She needs to stay in bed as much as possible, and limit her time out of bed to 60 minutes a day. It’s important she rests, she needs it to help her have a safe and healthy labor and delivery” the doctor said and she bit her lip, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“S-She’s gonna be…o-okay?” She whimpered, the doctor asking if she wanted to come see you. She nodded so fast her head nearly rolled off her neck. You were sleeping when she got to you, which initially scared the shit out of her before she realized you just needed rest.

Steve got her settled, made sure she wasn’t squeezing your hand too tight and left to get food. You looked much better than before. Color had come back to your skin and lips, and they had been giving you I.Vs and you had 2 protein shakes while you were awake. Robin was still scared out of her mind.

She doesn’t understand how she didn’t notice you were so exhausted and drained. She should’ve known. A good wife would’ve noticed and taken care of you. Obviously she wasn’t worth your love. She should’ve prevented this, she can’t even notice when you're on the verge of passing out, how will she be able to take care of you.

You slept for god only knows how long, murmuring things in your sleep occasionally and shifting positions a couple times. Usually you’d wake up a lot to pee or because of some kind of pain or the baby was kicking too much to let you sleep, but she was glad you were getting the rest you needed.

When you did wake up, she started crying again. “Babe? Oh, oh hi baby” she said and cupped your cheeks as your gorgeous y/e/c eyes opened slowly. You whimpered and looked around slowly, realizing you were in a hospital.

“Shit…” you mumbled and Robin sighed shakily. She bit her lip and said “why didn’t you say anything?…do you not want to talk to me about these things o-or, or did I make you feel like y-you couldn’t? I- I-I don’t understand, I tried so hard to make sure you were taken c-care of-”

“it’s not you…” you said weakly, sighing softly. She took a deep breath and said “then what is it?” “I didn’t…I didn’t know it was t-this bad I thought I was just having a sh-shitty couple of weeks” you said and she brought your hand to her mouth, pressing a few kisses to it.

She opened your palm and pressed it to her face, holding it there and feeling the warmth of it, reminding her that you were okay. “Rob…” you said and she sighed shakily.

“It’s…its stupid, I-I know but…I almost thought t-that I wouldn’t feel this again, y-you know? Feel your hand on my face…h-hear your voice again. You were- y-you were pale as shit and your lips were turning purple I-….I mean you were dead!” She said and your eyes widened.

“That isn’t entirely true, miss…your wife was severely oxygen deprived, which is what caused the pale skin and purple lips. Her body tried to shut down to save itself, but we fixed her up and she’ll be okay. We previously discussed with your wife that you’ll be on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy to make sure you and the baby stay healthy, only 60 minutes out of bed is allowed. I can confirm that if you take the new medications we give you, and follow our instructions about bed rest and eating that you and your daughter will be just fine” the doctor said and you nodded, rubbing your bump.

Once they got your vitals and stuff they left you and Robin alone. She hadn’t let go of your hand the whole time. She refused, she wasn’t going to let you go ever again. You were never ever leaving her sight again, you wouldn’t be in the same room alone for a long ass time.

“I didn’t mean to scare you…” you said to break the silence. Robin had been really quiet, just caressing your hand softly, tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at you and said “I…I know. I just…I’m still processing everything. m’ really scared something else is gonna happen to one of you”

“I’m sorry…” you said, getting sleepy again and trying to stay awake. She shook her head and said “no, no don’t be sorry. Y-You didn’t do anything. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just scared, that’s all” You hummed and she used her fingers to push your eyelids down, making you smile a little.

She let go of your hand for a moment to tuck you in, kissing your head and going back to her spot to get some sleep as well. “Robin?” You asked about a half hour later, unable to sleep. She hummed and sat up, rubbing her eyes as she said “yes, sweetheart? What’s wrong, is everything alright?”

“Just uhm…why don’t you come sleep in the bed with me? I promise I’m not that injured” you said and she smiled a little. She crawled into bed with you and cupped your cheek, kissing your head and giving you no other option but to bury your head in her chest so she could hold you.

The next few weeks were a bit better, you were eating more and you felt so much more well rested and relaxed. You were finally managing to get some sleep, that pregnancy pillow Robin got you literally saving your life at this point. At first, one of you guys’ friends would come take care of you but Robin got early parental leave and was able to stay home from 32 weeks on.

She was constantly by your side, cuddling with you and feeling the baby move all the time. She was so eager to get out, but you still had 2 more months left with her hyper ass kicking up a storm in there. You loved her, you really did but man she could kick.

You felt better and healthier, and you were much happier too. Obviously you were still experiencing some pain, you were 8 months pregnant for fuck sake but Robin made it easier to manage. It was all gonna be worth it for this little girl.

Eventually you had to get a birthing ball to have at home, because you felt so much pressure and pain in your hips you just needed something to relieve the pain, even just a little. Robin was really sweet and would always rub your back or massage and squeeze your hips for you when she could tell you were in pain.

She even rubbed your feet for you, even though you didn’t want her to have to touch your feet she insisted. She didn’t care how gross you thought it was, she knew you needed the relief.

You were sure the baby knew who Robin was, she’d move a ton when she heard Robin's voice or when Robin grabbed your bump and said “hiii babygirl” with gentle kisses to your belly. You swore you were feeling her nuzzle her head into Robin's hands when she rubbed your bump at night, it was always the same motion and while it could’ve been her ass you would like to pick the cuter option and say it’s her head. Robin thought you were slightly delusional and this was some symptom of pregnancy brain but it was adorable watching how excited you got about it.

By the time you started the 9th month you were ready for this kid to be out. She was kicking and jabbing you so much, and your ribs were so sore cause she’d finally turned head down and started attacking your ribs. Robin saw a thing about holding your belly up to help with the pain or something online and she finally tried it and holy shit did it feel good. You finally felt some relief on your hips, and Robin would always stay for as long as you needed.

Some days were really hard, and you were in a lot of pain but Robin stayed up with you and did whatever she could to make it easier. You cried a lot thinking about how much you loved her and appreciated her, and it freaked Robin out a little how you could never seem to stop talking about her and how much she does for you. You loved her too much, you couldn’t help it.

You started nesting as well, which didn’t help at all. Even though you were still supposed be on bed rest you were constantly sneaking out of bed and cleaning the shit out of the apartment. Places you’d never even thought to clean before. One time Robin caught you standing on the kitchen counters to dust on top of the cabinets and literally lost her shit.

You only agreed to get down if Robin promised to clean it for you and she did, which led to a lot of sneezing but she would walk on glass before she let you do something dangerous like that at 36 weeks pregnant.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack, you know that?” Robin said, you were now in bed with her arms wrapped around you so tight you were almost having a hard time breathing. “I just- I- you know I can’t explain it I just have to clean everything and make sure everything is okay for the baby. It’s not babyproofed enough there’s so much she could hurt herself on” you said, placing a hand over hers, which was obviously carressing your bump.

“You’re nesting,” Robin said and blushed a little, all these little things that came with the pregnancy made it feel so much more real, she’ll never be able to comprehend that this is actually happening, you’re actually having her baby.

“I am not nesting. That’s so…suburban stay at home white mom” you said and she chuckled. She kissed your head and said “you’re preparing your nest, mama bird” “don’t say that” you said and crossed your arms like you were mad, but she knew you weren’t.

“I read that it’s a sign labor is coming soon. Then again, it’s a little early for that, but a girl can dream” Robin said and you chuckled. She sighed and said “I just can’t wait to meet her. You’re gonna be such a good mom”

“You think so?” You asked, rubbing your lower bump. Robin chuckled and said “of course I do. In fact, I know you will. You’re amazing, y/n/n, this baby girl is so lucky to have you. She’s got the most beautiful, most patient, most loving, most kind, most caring mommy in the whole freaking planet”

“She’s got a pretty kick-ass mom too” you said and Robin blushed hiding in the crook of your neck. You sighed and said “I want her out already…I just want to kiss her little face and squeeze her little chubby cheeks and hold her tiny little body and cuddle her and hug her and just love her. How am I supposed to wait another month?” “I don’t know, babe. We’ll struggle together that’s for sure” she said and you chuckled, feeling a kick.

Picking a name for her was a bit of a struggle, you wanted to try and find something not super overused but not crazy and hard to spell or pronounce. You went through tons of names, trying to imagine her face based on the scans and trying to think of a name that would fit her.

You tried every name in the world, and finally two days before your due date you figured out her name. Jadyn Buckley. You liked it because it was pretty gender neutral and wasn’t too girly which you didn’t want. Robin liked how it sounded and since it was your favorite name that she suggested she loved it even more.

You were so glad you finally chose a name, Robin celebrated by running to your favorite bakery and grabbing a small cake. You thought it was weird to celebrate choosing your baby’s name, but then it turned into celebrating your last few days of being just the two of you.

For 8 years it’s just been the two of you. Pretty soon, there’ll be three of you and that’s something Robin never thought she’d be able to say. She felt so lucky to just have you, now she was about to have a baby with you and that’s just so special to her. She’ll never get over being able to say “my girls are waiting for me” or being able to think “I miss my girls”, and the baby isn’t even here yet.

She just knows she’s gonna be perfect. She does the cutest things during ultrasounds, yawning and turning over and using her hands to move around and stretch. Robin knows she’s the most adorable baby ever, she doesn’t have to see her to know that.

You hope she has Robin’s eyes. That’s all you care about. She could look any kind of way, she’d still be your gorgeous baby girl that you love no matter what, but you really hope she has Robin's eyes. Robin's eyes are your favorite thing in the whole world. They’re absolutely beautiful, and being able to see that little piece of Robin in Jadyn would just melt your heart.

You both knew it would be pretty rare for you to have her on your due date, not a lot of babies come on the due date. So you weren’t heartbroken when you went to bed still pregnant that night, but after being a week overdue you were losing your mind.

You couldn’t stop crying, you felt like a complete and total failure and you were kind of a mess. Your hormones were worse than they had ever been before, you were really really sensitive nowadays. Not to mention the pain you were in was excruciating and you had reached your breaking point.

You hadn’t slept in 27 hours now, you’d woken up at 3am yesterday and as much as you tried you couldn’t take any naps during the day and you’d been too uncomfortable to sleep tonight. You were making brownies now, you found brownie mix in the pantry and you were gonna lose your shit if you didn’t do something soon so making brownies it is.

“Babe? What the hell- get back in bed” Robin said and you groaned. You sighed and said “Robin just- please, go away. This goddamn kid has been kicking all night and I’m so sick of being in bed all the time I’m going insane I can’t fucking do anything without being in pain and I just- I need to do something, okay? I’m so sick of just crying in bed all the time, I feel like a piece of shit all I fucking do is complain and whine about how much everything hurts and it’s stupid but it’s all I have left to talk about. I haven’t left the house in 3 weeks and I’ve been wearing the same outfit for 4 days and I just- I can’t do this anymore! I’m going fucking crazy Robin I just want to feel like a human being again! Just let me make some fucking brownies!”

You sighed, put the spoon down, and placed your hands on the counter and let your head drop between your shoulders as you started crying. Robin knew you didn’t mean to be so aggressive and tell her to go away like that. She knew you were frustrated, she’d been trying to help in whatever way she could but she knew you were gonna snap eventually.

“Come here…come here, sweetheart,” she said and wrapped her arms around you, letting you bury your head into her chest as you cried. You wrapped your arms around her weakly as she rubbed your back, kissing your head softly.

“I’m s- sorry…I-I shouldn’t have s-snapped like th-that” you said and Robin shushed you, smoothing your hair back. She took a deep breath and said “don’t apologize baby. I know it’s getting overwhelming and I know that you’re struggling a ton right now and I’m so fucking proud of you for doing this. I know you wanna give up and just die or whatever, but you're so close to the end honey. I know it doesn’t feel or seem like it, but I’m sure that by this time next week you’ll be standing here with our baby in your arms wishing you were still pregnant because despite what you think I know you’ll miss your bump and you’ll miss having her in there all safe and sound. Sometimes you gotta get your stress and frustration out and I’m the only other person who’s home, so I get it. Don’t worry about it, I promise. I know you love me” she said and you smiled a little, sighing softly.

You hummed and pulled away wiping your tears as you said “I probably look and sound bat shit crazy right now” “only a little” Robin said and you both laughed as you continued scraping the last of the batter into the baking dish.

Robin moved behind you and started massaging your hips and lower back, making you gasp and groan softly. She smiled as you moved her hand to the left a little, wincing as she did. You leaned back and Robin pushed harder, making you whimper.

Eventually you took a short break so you could put the brownies in the oven and then Robin brought the birthing ball so she could continue doing god's work on your sore back. You leaned against one of the seats that went with the island in the kitchen and she massaged your back and hips whilst you waited for the brownies to finish.

By now, you’d tried everything to induce your labor. Even the things that were just myths, you had to keep trying because you really hated surgeries and needles. Sure you could handle a shot or an I.V but you didn’t want an epidural or a c-section. Those are terrifying, you’d honestly rather be pregnant forever than have to do either of those options.

So naturally, when your doctor set a date for you to be induced you were stressed out. Inducing could mean needles, and all kinds of other stuff and you really didn’t want that. But being 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant makes you desperate for anything that’ll get your damn baby out.

You still felt like a failure, like this was god telling you you were incompetent or something. Why couldn’t your body do what it was meant to do? Was it something you did? Are you just not meant to be a mom?

All those thoughts came to an end when you finally felt your first real contraction. You’d been feeling some really light and short ones on and off the last day or so but thought they were Braxton hicks. Now, you were on your way Steve’s house because they still offered for you to come over whenever everyone else did and since your body wasn’t showing any signs of getting this baby out any time soon you figured why not leave the house one last time because the next time you leave you’ll hopefully be coming home with 3 people instead of 2.

“Ow- oh shit…” you said and placed a hand on your stomach, squeezing Robin's hand as she had already been holding it the whole ride so far. She looked over quickly and said “wha- baby, what’s wrong?” “I- Mmh, it- my stomach…” you said and her eyes widened.

She pulled into Steve’s house and turned off the car as fast as she could, getting out and opening your door to help you better. It had passed pretty quickly, and you felt okay now you were just surprised by the pain. “Hey, hey are you okay? Is it the baby- are you-” she almost began to ramble before you stopped her.

“I’m fine,” you panted, circling your bump with your hand as you took a few deep breaths. “I-I think I just…had a contraction?” You said and Robins eyes widened. Her jaw dropped a little and she said “w-wh- contraction? Should we go to a hospital?”

“No, no…remember there’s the contractions before real labor. That’s probably what these are. Unless they’re 5 minutes apart or my water breaks we should be okay to do as we please, but I don’t want to be out too long” you said, caressing her face, already recovered and breathing just fine.

She nodded and you smiled a little, turning so you could get out of the car. She helped you out of the car, and you got inside and everyone was all over your bump, begging her to come out already. You were okay with them touching your bump, plus you’d gotten used to it by now.

You laid down one of the couches for most of the time you were there, cuddled up with Robin as the contractions came and went. They were nearly 15 minutes apart, and as long as you breathed through them and didn’t freak out you were fine. It only felt so bad the first time because you weren’t expecting it, but these barely hurt enough to truly mess with you. You could even talk through most of them, which helped Robin keep calm a little.

Even though they were manageable, you couldn’t sleep through them at all and eventually Robin couldn’t stay up any longer so you were either up for hours at a time or you woke up every 15 minutes because they were just strong enough to keep you awake.

By the next morning, they were a little stronger but still pretty far apart so you felt okay. But it killed your appetite completely, usually when you were in more serious kinds of pain you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat which really scared Robin but you drank some milkshakes and protein shakes for her.

You were really hoping the baby would be here or at least actually be on the way by tonight but no, she was still taking her sweet time. Robin fell asleep again, she was really exhausted and you couldn’t blame her, if you could sleep right now you totally would.

Now they were stronger and more intense, wrapping around your back and spreading down your thighs a little. You didn’t want to wake Robin up but you just wanted her to comfort you and hold you. Not to mention, it was really hard to stay in this position the whole time and keep quiet.

Eventually you snuck out of the room, little sobs racking your body as you made your way to the couch, holding onto it as another wave of pain hit you. You whimpered, gasping as you tried to breathe through the pain. You groaned, taking a few deep yet shaky breaths, whimpering softly as you tried to focus on something other than the pain.

You knew it only got worse from here and since your water hasn't broken yet you were getting kind of scared, how much worse could it get? You walked around the house, managing the pain and breathing through it like you were supposed to when suddenly, you felt a gush of water come out of you and you instantly froze.

You gasped, backing up a little looking down. Sure enough, there was a puddle of fluid where you had just been standing. You whimpered, grabbing a towel from the dirty laundry pile and cleaning up the mess. You took off your pants and underwear and put those in the dirty laundry pile too, going to the room to put new clothes on.

You were trying to dry your legs but you were still leaking and it was making you frustrated. You called your O.B really quickly and told her what happened and said to come in to the hospital as soon as possible.

“Baby,” Robin groaned, feeling for you in the bed. She whined when she couldn’t feel you, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. It was 1:30 in the morning, why weren’t you in bed? “I’m in the bathroom,” you said loud enough so she could hear you. You took a deep breath and just put some underwear and shorts on, waddling into the bedroom. “Why’d you let me fall asleep?” She asked and you sighed.

You rubbed your bump as you said “cause you need it, Robin…e-especially since my water just broke and we’re not gonna be getting a whole lot of sleep for the next few months…” “WHAT?!” Robin said and jumped out of bed, running to the nursery to grab the hospital bag, rambling so fast you literally couldn’t understand what she was saying.

Well, at least you were done leaking amniotic fluid and wouldn’t have to change again. You sighed and went to the bathroom, brushing your hair and teeth as Robin said something about the car and she’ll be right back

You grabbed yours and Robin's bags from the closet and set them on the couch because you were probably gonna bust your ass trying to see the stairs that you had to use to leave the apartment building under your bump, get through a contraction if need be, and carry both of these bags at the same time.

You heard Robin come back into the building, she nearly knocked the door off the hinges as she came back in, losing her shit and running to you as she found you squeezing the shit out of the couch with your face scrunched up in pain. “Fuck, sweetheart- what can I do?” She asked and you groaned softly.

You shook your head and took a few deep breaths, letting it pass. You finally opened your eyes and Robin was nearly crying, her hair was a mess and she looked so tired. She caressed your cheek and said “are you okay? Is the baby okay? How bad is it? Do you feel okay? Do you need to push?”

“Babe….I’m f-fine, everybody is fine, okay? It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever felt, at least not yet. I’m probably not gonna be pushing any time soon, don’t worry. Look, I’m gonna time the next one and then we’ll go to the hospital, alright?” You said and leaned back and laid on the back of the couch, rubbing your bump.

Robin sighed relievingly, sitting next to you. She rested her head on your lap, kissing your belly and caressing it softly. You groaned and said “I can't even see your face, my stomach is too big” “it won’t be pretty soon” she said, voice cracking as tears pricked her eyes.

You tried to reach over your bump and run your hands through her hair or something but you couldn’t reach. You huffed and grabbed her hand instead, trying to make her not cry. “We have plenty of time to have more kids, babe. Don’t worry” you said and she sighed shakily.

Sure enough, the next one came about 5 minutes later, you could practically hear Robin's thoughts going crazy but she was keeping her cool, just letting you squeeze her hand and do what you had to do. “Mmmh…Robin,” you moaned softly, a sudden new intensity of the pain coming on.

“What is it, sweetheart, what can I do?” She asked, carefully placing a hand on your bump, rubbing in gentle circles. You whimpered, nearly starting to cry. Once it passed, Robin held you for a few minutes, rubbing your belly and letting you relax.

She brought the other bags down to the car and then helped you to the elevator, letting you bury your head in her chest and take deep breaths, preparing for the next one. Any time you were in a more severe pain during the pregnancy you’d cling to Robin like this, and it always made her so happy that she got to be the person you need when you're in pain.

You had another contraction in the elevator so Robin scooped you up, trying not to move you too much as she got down the stairs at the front of the building and brought you to the car. She used to go to the gym for her mental health and to help her have something to do when her mind was going a little crazy and when you guys started talking about having kids and things like that she started getting into weight lifting just so she could do things like that. She never wanted you to be insecure about the weight you’d gained by growing a human being so she did what she had to do.

By the time she got you to the car it had just passed so you got in the car as quickly as possible to help you relax again. Robin made sure everything was in the car and then started the drive to the hospital. She noticed once she pulled in how shaky you were, which made her nervous.

She came around to your side of the car and grabbed your hand, kissing it softly. “Bubba, why are you so shaky, huh? Is there anything I can do to help?” She asked and you sighed. You’d had about 4 more contractions before you got to the hospital and the pain was already getting at you. You shook your head and said “no I just…I mean I’m exhausted, and- a-and the pain is worse than before and I’m also really freaking nervous,”

You chuckled and she smiled sadly. You sniffled, wiping a tear away. “It’s gonna be okay, honey. Everything's gonna be just fine, I promise. Nothing is gonna happen to you, and once we get inside we can talk to the doctor about an epidural and see how you-” she said before you stopped her.

“No- no, I don’t want all the crazy shit going into my body. Especially into my back of all places, what if there’s a fire and I can’t move my legs huh? I’d have contractions for a week straight before I got that stupid epidural” you said and she sighed.

She ran a hand over your bump and said “babe, I know you’re scared but you might not be able to handle it and so many women have successful labor and delivery stories even with the epidural….I’m sorry okay, I just- I hate this, and I hate you being in a pain and I really wish I could stop it, that’s all”

You then started crying, and Robin's eyes widened. How did she fuck up? Was she making you frustrated? She felt so stupid. “Honey, hey, hey don’t cry I’m sorry. Y/n, hey what’s making you cry?” She asked and you let out a sob.

You sniffled and said “I…I’m just being annoying w-when all you wanna do is h- h-help me, I’m being a fucking…just c-childish over a st-stupid needle and some drugs that’ll make this go w-way easier for me” “no, no honey. Baby, you’re scared, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared I just…I just wanted to ask you one last time that’s all. You’re not being annoying, I know why you’re scared and I get it, but I also know that I’ll sit with you for as long as I have to to help you get through this and I’ll do whatever it takes to help you bring our baby girl into this world, okay?” She said and you nodded.

She helped you out of the car and brought just your bag up for now since she knew it’d be a while before this baby got here and you didn’t need everything right this minute. She demanded they bring you a wheelchair so they did. Robin was being a little scary with the way she was talking to these nurses and doctors, but she wasn’t going to let you get mistreated in any way.

You got a room and Robin helped you change into a gown before nurses got all kinds of monitors on you and checked your vitals and the baby’s vitals and blah blah blah. You would’ve fallen asleep through it if you weren’t in all kinds of pain.

It was nearly 3am by the time you got settled, barely 3 centimeters dilated and hours of contractions to come. You were laying on your side now, Robin cuddled up with you per your request, both of you just listening to the baby’s heartbeat monitor. “Can't believe she’s really coming now…feels like I’ve been pregnant forever” you said and she chuckled.

She smiled and said “well at least you didn’t have to be induced,” You hummed, playing with her shirt as you took a deep breath, a bigger smile gracing your face as you felt her move a little. You looked up at Robin and said “hope she has your eyes. I love your eyes. They always look at me with so much love…and they’re so beautiful. It’s okay if she doesn’t…be really adorable if she did though”

“You just can’t get enough of me, you need two of me?” she said and you giggled. You kissed her softly and said “yea…just wanna meet her,” “I know, babe…me too” Robin said and cupped your cheek, caressing it softly.

You were mostly okay the first few hours but by the time you got to 5 centimeters you were struggling. Contractions were 4 minutes apart now and they were really strong, and your back and hips were hurting even more. God, and you were so drained and exhausted. You hadn’t slept in 2 days, you were in so much pain and you had already been in labor for 10 hours without a whole lot of progress.

You were starting to break, and you were contemplating getting the epidural. The pain was getting to be too much, and all you walked was a goddamn nap. You finally told Robin after debating it in your head for an hour, and she simply caressed your cheek and asked if you wanted her to ask for you.

Unfortunately, they ran some tests and determined it would be too dangerous for you to get the epidural and could cause complications. You broke into sobs, you really needed some kind of relief. Robin felt so shitty, she should’ve just sucked it up and been the one to carry the baby so this wouldn’t be happening to you.

She kissed your head and brought you closer, hugging you tight. “I-I can’t…Robin, I can’t do it a-anymore…it hurts” you whimpered, crying into her chest. She rubbed your back softly as she said “I’m so sorry, baby….I’m so fucking sorry”

You did everything you could after that, you walked around the hospital and around your room, you used the birthing ball, you tried every position in the world, you even tried getting in the stupid shower but none of it was helping as much as you wished. The baby kept trying to move and kick which was only causing you more pain.

Eventually you came back to the bed, tears streaming down your cheeks as another contraction tore through you. You yelled out slightly, twisting the bedsheets in your fists as you tried not to scream. You really couldn’t handle the pain, you nearly felt like you were gonna pass out.

“Baby, come on sit back and breathe” Robin sat behind you and you whimpered, groaning as it got worse. You tried to breathe through it but the more you tried to breathe the more you cried and you were having a hard time calming down. “Sweetheart,” Robin said quietly, tears forming in her eyes as you moaned through the pain.

As soon as the contraction ended you started feeling nauseous, and ended up throwing up everything in you. Robin was really starting to get worried, this couldn’t be good. You felt so dizzy after, you nearly passed out but you were using everything you had left in you to stay conscious.

You got more I.V’s and some nurses came in to help massage your back and find the perfect position to help with your pain, and help Robin understand what she can do to help. Sitting on the ground on your knees and leaning your upper body on the birthing ball really helped, and it gave Robin easy access to help support your bump a little and massage your back and hips.

23 god awful hours after your water broke you finally got the go ahead to push, and you quite honestly don’t know how you did it. It got so bad that any time you closed your eyes you would hear Robin scream your name in a panic because she thought you passed out. You were so shaky the whole goddamn time, you were so nervous and so overworked you really needed a damn break.

It took 20 minutes to get her out, and when you did you’d never felt so much relief in your life. Pushing that baby out was the most painful thing you’d ever done in your life, now sobbing into Robins arm as all kinds of pain ripped through you from between your legs, in your back, and the contractions that were supposed to help you push out the placenta.

You wanted to die when they asked you to deliver the placenta, your body was so drained and so tired you wanted to be done with the contractions and the pushing and all this bullshit. “Good job, momma! You barely even tore at all, just need to do a couple little stitches, you did such a good job” the doctor said and you whimpered.

Suddenly it hit you, holy shit you just had a baby. “Mmh- m-my baby- where’s my baby?” You asked frantically, you couldn’t hear her loud screams as she took her firsts breaths anymore and you were scared. “She’s okay, momma bear don’t you worry. We’re just checking on her and making sure she’s healthy that’s all” the pediatric nurse said and you let out a big sigh of relief, still trying to breathe right.

You groaned and said “I h-hate you” Robin’s eyes widened and her heart dropped a little, did you really mean that? “I’m fucking…g-getting stitches on my v-vagina right now…and I can’t breathe, a-and I’m panicking cause I- I can’t hear our baby c-crying even though I know s-she’s okay…and I’m so t-tired. I just want…I w-wanna sleep. But I’m never g-gonna sleep again. All because I-I love you too much s-so I stupidly agreed t-to have a beautiful little b-baby girl with you. So I h-hate you cause you m-made me love you and m-made me do stupid things b-because I love you” you said and she chuckled softly, there you were.

She kissed your head and gasped as they brought the baby over, a nurse helping you pull down your gown to do skin to skin. You thought she’d still had all that gunk on her but they had wiped it off mostly. They gently placed her on your chest, she was just still crying and whimpering and fussing a little but as soon as they placed her on your chest she was cooing and trying to muzzle into your neck.

You gasped, instantly beginning to cry again. You placed your hand on her little back, patting it on instinct and the other on her little head. God, she was tiny but she sure as hell felt huge coming out.

You swore she was gonna come out 20 pounds, there’s no way this tiny little ball of perfection was the thing you had given birth to.

Robin began to cry softly too, stroking your hair and watching you bond with the baby. “S-She’s perfect, y/n. I’m s-so proud of you, baby. I-I’m so goddamn proud. You did a-amazing, look what you made” Robin said softly and you both chuckled. You kissed her little head and smiled, you couldn’t believe you were actually holding your baby girl right now.

Robin had never felt so much love and appreciation for you in her life. You really had been so strong during all of this, even when you were breaking down in her arms wanting to quit and cut her out of you yourself, you kept going for her. Man, was it worth it.

“She knows her momma,” a nurse said softly as she kept cooing, grabbing onto your finger while she was all tucked underneath your chin. Robin wiped a tear off your face and said “can I please get a picture of this?”

You rolled your eyes and said okay, of course you wanted a picture of your first moments with your sweetgirl but you felt and probably looked like shit. You didn’t even care about the pain that you were still very much feeling anymore, you were just focused on the baby now.

“I’m so proud of you too, bubba, for coming out healthy…at least so far, and hopefully forever. You did an amazing job at kicking my ass these last 10 freaking months, I’m so proud of you” you said and everyone laughed. Robin took a few pictures of you and then you let Robin hold her, god you couldn’t stop smiling.

You’d go through all the pain again 1,000 times over just to see Robin's face right now all over again. She was so fucking happy, caressing Jadyn’s cheek and holding her little tiny body in one freaking arm. You grabbed the Polaroid camera and took a picture, and then took a few on your phone.

“She’s beautiful, babe. You did such a good job. Didn’t she, bubba? Didn’t mommy do an amazing job making this cute little face and pushing out this little body and these tiny little hands, and these tiny little feets?” Robin said, it melted your heart to see her talking to the baby already, she was such a natural with her.

Jadyn reached up to try and grab her face, cooing up a storm. Robin smiled and let her do what she wanted, grabbing Robin’s chin lightly and then her lip, patting her cheek a few times. You chuckled and said “sweetgirl, what are you doing to mom?”

“She’s just exploring, that’s all. She’s brand new, babe- oh…hey, she has my eyes” Robin said as she finally opened her eyes wide enough to tell. You smiled and said “really?” “Yea, look,” Robin bent down slightly so you could see and you smiled even more, booping her nose.

A few minutes later they took Jadyn for testing and cleaned you up, putting the massive freaking diaper looking thing on you and helping you get your achy legs out of the stirrups. Holy hell were you sore, you can’t believe it hurt so freaking bad when all it was was that 7 pound 2 ounce little baby. She wasn’t even big, you don’t think you would’ve been able to do it if she was a bigger baby.

You were barely awake now, your eyes unable to open and you only able to see a blur of Robin as you were finally settled, everything was over now and you were only feeling the after pains which weren’t nearly as bad as the contractions. “Babe, come on get some sleep” Robin said and you shook your head.

“The baby…” you whimpered and she sighed. She tucked your hair behind your ear and said “she’s okay…she’s getting her tests done, making sure she really is a perfect and amazing little girl. She’ll be gone for a while, why don’t you sleep?” “I just….” You said and closed your eyes, your grip loosened on her hand and your whole body visibly relaxing.

She smiled and kissed your head, watching you sleep for a while. She really was so fucking proud of you. You’d been up for literally almost 2 and a half days, had been going through all kinds of unbearable pain for 2 days straight on top of all the pain you’d been feeling for 10 exhausting months to have a baby all because she said she wanted one.

She didn’t say she needed one, she didn’t force you to, she didn’t say you had to have her baby. She simply said she wanted one and you barely thought twice before you said yes, and you’d do it as many times as Robin wanted. She was so grateful for you, and to have a partner as loving, supportive, and caring as you are.

Not to mention, you had never ever looked so beautiful in her eyes. You would beg to disagree, dark ass eye bags making you practically look like you have black eyes and greasy hair and flushed cheeks and red rimmed eyes not having you feeling like a supermodel.

She felt so bad when you were only able to get a little over an hour of sleep, because the baby was fussing and the nurses chopped it up to her being hungry and came back so you could breastfeed her. Robin wished she could’ve done it for you, but you were so happy to hold her again, you didn’t care how tired you were.

Robin smiled as she watched you and Jadyn, it seemed like you already knew what to do as the nurse helped you get her to latch for the first time, it only took two tries before she was suckling away for milk. You’d been sort of pumping the last couple days, your boobs so sore and swollen you needed some relief so your milk had pretty much come in already.

You caressed her tiny cheek and as her big, curious eyes stared up at you. “Hi, beautiful…mommy’s precious girl” you whispered, smiling softly. Robin kissed your head and took some pictures, obviously at an angle that didn’t show your boob too much and had it mostly covered by her head.

“So proud of you, baby. Doing so good for mommy” you said and she cooed, wiggling around a little. You let her squeeze your finger, she cooed softly as she started really getting milk. “Poor girl, you must be hungry. Gotta fill this belly up, huh?” You said and poked her tiny tummy as soft as humanly possible.

Robin kissed your head and said “you are so incredible, y/n. Thank you…for everything. Especially our little bundle of perfection. You’re seriously so strong, babe, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to do this” “one of the perks of me doing it first, I’ll probably know how to make things easiest for you if we getting around to having you carry our 2nd baby” you said and she sighed happily, resting her head on top of yours.

“My precious girls…” she whispered softly, wiping away a bit of milk that had leaked from Jadyn’s mouth. You smiled and said “she must be really hungry,” “hey, if I could suck on your boobs right now I’d never stop either” she said and you gasped, looking up at her.

She chuckled and you blushed slightly, looking down at Jadyn again. “Little ears, Robin…god,” you said and Robin laughed a little, running a finger over the little head of hair she had.

“I can’t believe she’s really here. She’s actually real, you know? I mean- I- I know I’ve felt her move and I’ve felt her hands and her head and her feet against my stomach for over half my pregnancy but…I don’t know a part of me always wondered how I could actually just create a human out of a tiny little egg and tiny little sperm and just some empty pouch I have inside me. But now she’s here, and she’s- I mean she’s like…real. She has a brain, and lungs and her own little organs and her own little heart, and all that stuff. I made her. I…I literally made her” you said and Robin chuckled softly.

Robin caressed her cheek and said “I know baby…it is pretty crazy. You did one hell of a job, our baby girl is perfect” You smiled, looking up to kiss her. Jadyn started getting sleepy and pretty much stopped suckling so you gently unlatched her and you let Robin burp her.

“Oh, hi bubba” she said as she gently lifted her out of your arms so you could put your bra back on. She put the burp cloth over her shoulder and rested her in the same spot, patting her back softly. You smiled and grabbed your phone taking a video.

Robin hadn’t realized you were recording, she was too busy kissing Jadyns head and trying to keep her smile from reaching her ears. Jadyn cooed and grabbed Robin's shirt, making her tear up a little. “Hey, hey why are you crying?” You said, forgetting you were still recording.

“Cause I…c-cause we have a baby together” she said and Jadyn cooed. You smiled and said “overwhelming, huh?” Robin nodded and kissed her head again, whimpering softly.

Once she was done Robin laid her little body across her arm and chest so she could watch her, and eventually she fell asleep in her arms. Robin sat next to you and you took a picture of them, little Jadyn all snuggled into Robin as she slept peacefully.

Robin placed her in the hospital bassinet a few minutes later so she could get proper rest and sat next to you again. She cupped your cheek and said “I love you so, so so much. I’m so lucky to call you my wife. What you did was…amazing, sweetheart. I can't tell you enough, I can’t express how proud I am of you”

“I love you too…and I know you are, baby. I’d do it a million times over just to make you happy again” you said and she kissed you softly. You smiled through it and pulled away a few moments later, smiling up at her. You blushed and she opened her arms for you to cuddle into, and you got some more sleep before Jadyn inevitably woke up again.

You didn’t tell the group that she had arrived until you got home two days later, the doctors were just taking precautions and had you stay 48 hours due to your pregnancy and labor and birth being so hard on your body. You were overwhelmingly sore, especially down there but your whole body as well, from being so tense and all that pregnancy pain hadn’t gone away just yet. You couldn’t get enough sleep to recover from it all because of the new baby, even though she was actually a pretty good and quiet baby, taking care of her was still a lot of work.

Plus, Jadyn was brand new and you wanted time for you and Robin to bond with her by yourself so they wouldn’t be allowed to come over for 2 weeks, but you sent them pictures every day and FaceTimed them when you could.

Robin was overjoyed to have everyone meet Jadyn, she was so happy to be a mom and she just kept showing her off like her most prized possession. Max was in shock when you said you’d been in labor for 2 and a half days, she immediately declared she was never having kids.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you watched Robin show her off to Steve. You loved her and Steve’s sibling like relationship, and she was so freaking excited to show Steve what you had done for her. “And y/n did such a good job getting her out…didn’t she? Didn’t mommy do so well?” she said, kissing Jadyn’s cheek.

Robin had so much energy, even though you both were getting the same amount of sleep she was bouncing off the walls while you were ready for another nap.

Nancy came over and you compared birth stories parts of your pregnancies, and she even brought over some of James’s old stuff and most of it was gender neutral anyways but neither of you would have cared if it was blue. Unsurprisingly, Jadyn eventually wanted to nurse after a while so you went to the nursery to feed her whilst you heard Robin going on and on about how perfect Jadyn was and how incredible you were doing.

God, you fucking loved her.

There was somebody who commented on my post about this story and if you comment I automatically assume you are like super excited about it so, @averagestudent03 here you go

Taglist: @amberputh

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[samuwhal]

We need to change how we talk about self-help techniques.

By self-help techniques, I’m talking about: grounding, mindfulness, meditation, breathing exercises, physical activity, and--the big one--yoga. I have struggled with my mental health since I was fifteen, and just now, I am realizing how much these things can actually help. I am almost twenty-six years old, and I will have been in therapy for ten years this fall. Let me tell you, I have spent so much of that time renouncing these tools. Recently, though I’ve realized that: holy shit, they can really work...but man they are offered to struggling people in the worst possible light.

TL;DR: Just because suggestions about ways to manage mental illness are framed as “you have to try it or you want to be sick” doesn’t mean that they can’t actually work or that you are invalidating yourself by trying or being helped by them. Featuring personal anecdotes and a boat metaphor.

I know I am not alone in that the idea of these techniques and exercises just made my skin crawl. They made me feel vulnerable in a way which really scared me, they felt impossible to initiate in the moments needed most, and--ultimately--they felt incredibly diminutive. Think about it: people getting sucked into rapids will drown cursing your name if all you do is insist they have to “ride the wave.” “Fuck you.”

When I began taking anti-depressants, it was not without a fight. I’m lucky; my parents were willing and able to put me in therapy as soon as I asked. But with medication, they were concerned it was a shortcut, that I would be on pills for the rest of my life, and that the chemicals would change me and do “the work” for me, as if this was an issue of character development and not brain malfunction. Why wouldn’t I just do something relaxing when I was upset? Why wasn’t I leaning more into my spirituality? Why wasn’t I letting anything else help me?

And that’s the problem! I tried to explain that I would be able to use those techniques easier if medication brought my overall symptoms down. You wouldn’t expect me to paddle upstream against a tsunami, but I could feasibly make progress against a strong current. Even at that point, if I go over rapids, I want a fucking life jacket, not somebody with their feet firmly planted on the riverbank shouting, “Try yoga!” Though I of course continued therapy in addition to medicine, I still resisted any advice having to do with self-help because of that sentiment.

To be clear, I’m still very pro-medication and for eliminating that stigma. Really, though, when somebody is having such debilitating symptoms--emotions--that they feel like they are getting pulled underwater and gasping for air, it’s not fair that the solution could be something as effortless as breathing in while counting until it’s better. That sounds like bullshit. Mental illness physically hurts, but to outsiders, it’s all in your head, and it would be fine if only you could step back and appreciate how good you have it. If “mindfulness” works, then maybe those people are right, and that can’t be true. It hurts too much to be true.

However, I want you to know that your struggles won’t be any less legitimate if something simple actually does end up helping. I have two stories here:

1. Last year, after wanting to start for ages, I finally began exercising: just going to the gym a couple of times a week. My goal was only to feel better in my body, not really to do anything for myself mentally. I even hired a personal trainer to write work-out routines for me to follow, both to hold myself accountable (I won’t skip if I’m paying someone) and just so I wouldn’t be totally lost the second I walked in. But I have felt so many unexpected mental benefits, as well:

Getting my heart rate and breathing elevated--and continuing to exert myself through it--has kept me steadier when anxiety starts to set in. I feel more confident knowing that I can lift heavy things, run distances, and because I did something productive. I’m not stress or bored-eating, not necessarily because I’m afraid I’ll “put the calories back,” but because I’m simply more regulated. I have been sleeping better since pushing my muscles has reduced my lower back pain. I don’t procrastinate showering if I’ve just gotten back from the gym. When I sit down to schoolwork, I focus easier if I had exercised. Something something endorphins. I know I’m starting to sound like a “bro,” but the point is that these are huge benefits to exercising that just don’t get mentioned by the people crudely suggesting that it will fix your depression.

2. A couple of months ago, I was having a bad night, and the “don’t believe any negative thoughts about yourself after 10 p.m.” rule had gone out the window. I did what many of us have taught ourselves to do and asked for a lifeline: I texted my girlfriend in the same room (because vocalizing it was too hard) asking if she would come over to sit with me. I didn’t even realize I was having an anxiety attack, but she did. At first, I felt too frozen and in-pain when she asked me to sit up from clutching the fetal position. Instrumentally, though, she said that she wanted to help, but I had to help myself, too. She was throwing me a ring, but I had to swim and meet her halfway. I sat up.

She held me and led me through a “find five things in the room” exercise, and fuck me: it helped. No, I wasn’t cured. I’m still not. But this broke my self-destructive loop, and I was able to go to sleep relaxed. This was an epiphany for me. I could have provided myself this tool, this comfort, the entire ten years I’ve been dealing with this shit! Instead, I’ve just been enduring it, hoping against everything pulling me down that--instead of drowning--I’ll eventually kick the riverbed where it’s shallow enough to stand.

When self-help techniques are offered to mentally ill people, they tend to be used as a “gotcha:” you could easily be better, if only you wanted to try. To be completely fair, this isn’t always the meaning. However, it only takes a couple of those microaggressions to ensure you shut down when your therapist or a concerned loved one asks if you've tried "grounding” before.

Please, take it from me: these tools aren’t just leaky arm floats that people who never even needed to learn how to swim offer just to feel better as they watch you struggle. They are a life jacket to keep you afloat when you tip, a wider paddle to outrun the rapids, a better rudder and tiller so you can actually steer, a bailing bucket for when things get dicey, or pontoons so you won’t tip so readily. Trying self-help techniques doesn’t disclaim what you’re going through, they just might make it more bearable.

And you’re worth that.

[as-i-watch]

Episode 5 veredict:

5/5 Straw Hats 👒👒👒👒👒

Nothing is 100% perfect, but using decimals is for cowards bitches

The good:

Baratie is the best set so far hands down

God i love Taz's Sanji. He had three lines of dialogue but his was the first straw hat that inmediately felt like the charecter

Also Zeff, i have nothing negative to say, perfect Zeff, perfect with Sanji. Perfect duo.

Garp. I fucking love this Garp so much. Him and Luffy just screaming at eachother and throwing canon balls at eachother from their ships was so funny. I want to see where they go with it but introducing Garp this early was a really big move for the LA and i think so far it payed off.

MIHAWK. Not even necessary to point out how perfect the costume is but Steven Ward got the tone of the charecter perfectly fucking right!!

Sure they deleted Don Krieg but i actually didnt mind it in the end? There was no actual 'bad guy' but i liked it. I thought all episodes now would follow the syrup village format of stablishing the villain in the first ep, ending with a cliffhanger and the next ep had the full third act kinda battle. But the plot needed to slow down, they needed to give more time for the crew to bond and Baratie first half is the perfect moment to do that, and also an opportunity for the rest of the crew to get to know eachother without Luffy as a conduit (he was busy being a busboy). So yeah, i dont mind they didnt even introduced Krieg this ep as the villain of the arc, bc we got Zoro and Nami playing drinking games, Luffy and Sanji talking about dreams in a quiet moment at the kitched, and drunk Usopp busting some moves.

Oh god Mihawk's and Zoro's fight. It was almost exactly like in the anime, and i usualy hate frame by frame replications in adaptations of this kind, but that fight was iconic and perfect, they knew they didnt have to mess with that. But not only that, it was perfectly executed. It managed to capture the same emotion as the anime (something that other key moments so far fail to get it right spcially in backstories and flashbacks)

Again, kudos to Mackenyu for all the sword fight, holy shit they are becoming my fav things in the show

Ehh could'e been better:

There were only two moments in this ep that made me go :/

Luffy's argument to get Zeff to accept the IOU. Luffy never cared about status and what being King of the Pirates would mean, he dont care about having hand or the benefits the title would bring him. Pulling that card felt very strange, the most natural thing for Luffy was to just stare at Zeff dead in the eye and just say he's broke af

Nami not leaving. Stealing the ship and leaving them at Baratie was huge deal and what prompted they way into Arlong Park. But more of a plot point it was huge for Nami's charecter, bc she was still trying to convice herself that she hadnt become friends with those idiots, bc she still hated all pirates, bc she still tried to present a cold 'i dont need no one' kinda facade. But LA Nami had already admited not only that she was friends with the boys but also that she was part of the crew. Thats ok but now the issue is that her stealing Merry makes little sense, and even leaving at all makes little sense. Dont get me wrong, i love this Nami and i like the direction they gave the charecter, but i think maybe they neglected a bit her own personal growth and inner conficts, which is what sets te base for everything that happens to her at Arlong Park later on

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Alright, everyone. It is time to talk about my favorite accidentally detailed character. This motherfucker right here:

Vincent played by Nils Wetterholm.

I'm going to tell you right now, I adore this boy, and you all should, too. I don't care what he does in season 2, I fucking love him. Now, you're probably thinking "zee he had 2 minutes of screen time, how can you possibly know anything about him?"

WELL LET ME TELL YOU

So, Vincent seems like an overall typical rich boy. He's kind of a douchebag, he definitely cares about class, and he's not very nice. We see him bully Simon in the first episode, and we hear him talk about bullying Simon a few times after that. He's not kind. He cares about class. A lot. Even with his "best friend" Nils.

But, he's not as bad as he could be.

He wears brighter colors than the rest of the society boys. I've already touched on this in a previous post, but I'll mention it again. Throughout the series, the characters who are more open to change wear brighter colors. Those who are not open to change wear darker or more neutral colors. I'm going to put a big ol' warning right here that this could have been completely unintentional in the costume department and I could be making this all up. But Vincent wears brighter colors that all of his friends. More than August, more that Nils, more than Wille. This could suggest that he's more open to change than his counterparts.

Vincent doesn't seem to like the idea of getting people thrown out of school. With the Alexander and Simon thing, he didn't seem too excited about either option. Not like the other boys were. In fact, despite knowing Simon brought the drugs in, Vincent doesn't suggest they pull him into it. His first idea is to find a way to bribe the headmistress so everyone can stay. Was it a crude suggestion? Absolutely. Was it one that saved everyone? Yes. Vincent didn't want to get anyone kicked out of school. Even when August suggested they sell out Simon, Vincent looked hesitant. Again, this could have been accidental. This could have all been accidental.

He gives Wilhelm the benefit of the doubt. The entire series we watch people tell Wille he's not fit to be royal. We watch people tell him he's not good enough. We hear his family tell him that he needs to grow up and stop being selfish. It is a common theme for people to tell Wille he's not good enough. But August asks Vincent what kind of king he thinks Wille will make and Vincent says, "he'll be ok, I think." He adds that Wille isn't as "into the royal life as Erik was" but he doesn't say that it's going to affect what kind of king Wille will make. Vincent gives him the benefit of the doubt. He takes a minute to think, "yes, this kid isn't super keen on being king, but he'll be ok."

NOW, let's talk about the goddamn drugs. Because holy shit, when I realized some of the mannerisms from Vincent that related to this, I simply lost my mind.

Vincent needs the ADHD medication.

They're his pills. The ones August is taking are Vincent's pills. He is gladly giving them up to August so that August can take them. There might be money involved, but it's never said. And August goes out of his way to say that he "ordered and it got stuck in customs." So part of me wonders if Vincent isn't selling them to August. He might just be giving August the pills to hold him over. So Vincent needs the pills, and he's not taking them because he's giving them to August.

And we see how it affects him.

Throughout the entire series, Vincent is in his own little world. Go back and watch. You'll notice it now. Every time someone is talking to him, he's not paying attention. Every time he's in a tense room, he's walking around. Every time he's with Nils he does something completely off task (stealing his hat, that weird thing on the wall, hubba bubba mega long). You get what I'm saying, the boy can't focus.

Vincent can't take his medication because he's giving it to August, and it's fucking with him.

So, in conclusion, all of this could have been accidental, but I adore him. I think we should all adore him. I think Vincent is the best possibly accidental detailed boy there is. He's a good friend, he's a decent human, and he's an amazing character.

Everyone should love Vincent. Here, take more pictures:

[devilsrecreation]

Headcanons about (mostly) the Outlanders cuz I think I’m going back to my Lion Guard phase

Hyenas:

Like I said in a previous post, they’re basically the next generation of Shenzi’s clan

Also like I said, Chungu appeared out of nowhere. He’s most likely an orphan who was fortunate enough to meet Janja and Cheezi and they’ve been together ever since

All of Janja’s clan have been friends since they were all cubs and they’ll stay like that forever :)

Nne is the best singer out of all of them (mainly cuz he’s voiced by Beau Black, who sang “Here comes the Lion Guard”)

Oh, and he was SUCH a mama’s boy. Always hoping he’d make his mama proud

It took Tunu and Wema a while to get used to Janja and his clan, but when they did, they absolutely adore Chungu and Cheezi. The two hyenas who they thought were bad turned out to be really nice

Jasiri sometimes turns to Nne and Tano for advice and even takes their suggestions on how to hunt. She appreciates their intelligence a lot more than Janja did (although he kinda likes to brag about them cuz they were in HIS clan after all)

I know I saw a comic on Deviantart about how Shenzi, Banzai, Ed, and the rest of the clan left in the first place because they were scared of Zira and what she would do to them when they found out who REALLY killed Scar. And you know what? I 100% agree with it

And yes, they all came back when they discovered Zira died. It was a very wholesome and emotional reunion. Everyone cried tears of joy, everyone’s parents were alive and well, they all caught up, it was adorable

Chungu would eventually notice he doesn’t have anyone to reunite with and goes off on a little journey to find his parents, not knowing he doesn’t have any and despite not remembering much about his childhood. It’s okay though, with the help of some animals that he meets (and some VERY obvious signs from Ushari’s ghost watching over him), he comes to realize that his clan are all the family he needs

Also holy shit, this could be a really good fanfic-

Crocodiles:

Pua used to be exactly like Makuu when he was younger, which is why he has faith in him and believes he’ll learn with experience. Needless to say, he was right.

And for the record, he thinks Makuu’s doing great :)

Pua keeps up with all the gossip in both the Pride and Outlands. Being banished from the float gave him some benefits (and he’s doing just fine)

Being the friendliest croc in Africa, he’s become sort of a grandpa figure to everyone. He even pays his former float (and Kiburi’s) visits sometimes to catch up. Even Kiburi enjoys his company

May or may not be hard to believe, but Makuu and Kiburi used to be pretty close, especially when they were little. They were inseparable, telling each other everything and sparring with one another. It wasn’t until adulthood when Kiburi realized Makuu was always one-upping him in every way and it made him feel second-rate. And no one wants to feel second-rate. Pretty soon, he managed to get some obsession for beating Makuu…just once. He wants to be better at Makuu at one thing. It’s all he ever wants

Some crocs are more prone to showing emotion than others and Kiburi is the toughest one to crack. Super rare seeing Kiburi show any emotion other than annoyance, but it’s possible when you really get to know him

He’ll never say it out loud, but Makuu lowkey thinks about the past often. He sometimes misses the simpler times when he was young and didn’t have to worry about being a leader or having some of his float go with his now rival. Now he has no choice but to look forward. A lot of animals change. He did, maybe the other crocs would too…maybe he and Kiburi could even be friends again

Kiburi actually cares deeply about his float, since he considers them his true friends for sticking by his side. Being…well…himself, he hides it well and claims he’s indifferent towards them. Just know when he says that, he’s straight up LYING

Crocodiles know how to sing, a lot of them just choose not to unless it’s for special occasions like Kupatana. Kiburi has never sang in his life, but boy can he rap. If crocodiles or anyone else in the animal kingdom did rap battles, Kiburi would win every single one of them. He is THAT good.

Vultures:

Mzingo and his parliament have been friends with Shenzi’s clan for ages, which is why Shenzi trusted him to raise Janja and the other hyenas when they were cubs. And Mzingo did just that

He’s never had to deal with kids before, so wasn’t the best parent. But goddam did he try his absolute best

Mwoga is totally in a relationship with the harrier hawk, Mpishi and everyone else lowkey makes fun of him for it

Being the most sane, the vultures are usually the ones who have to witness everyone else’s antics. They’re always greeted with a “Morning!”

Like Mzingo would catch the hyenas having a dance party for no reason then Janja locks eyes with Mzingo and is like “….Uh…morning, Mzingo!”

Yes, that’s a Bluey reference

Jackals:

They might be/have been menaces to other animals, but they’re the African version of the Heeler family from Bluey. Super wholesome, super adorable, and whenever you see them, you’re like “awwwww”

Dogo is a mama’s boy. There, I said it

GoiGoi is like Bandit with his pups. He’s very committed to his role when he’s pretending to be the prey during training…when he isn’t sleeping

Sometimes, GoiGoi talks in his sleep and the subject is always about Reirei…it gets really awkward really fast

Dogo and his siblings annoy the living hell out of everyone by asking too many questions that refuse to let you sleep at night…or questions that are too..personal for them to get a straight answer (ex: “why don’t you have a mate?”)

They’re surprisingly very good friends with Tunu and Wema….except they can be bad influences

Reirei may be sassy, but she’s got the warmth of 1,000 suns to her friends. She’ll always be there when you need her

Kenge:

Oh boy, here it goes…

So since female monitor lizards lay 8-50 eggs, I’mma say Kenge had a LOT of older siblings and they all had to care for each other until each of them could fend for themselves. Kenge happened to be the runt of his sibs. The last one to hatch and the smallest of all his brothers and sisters

Kenge was NOTHING like the hateful lizard he is now. He was a doormat, a sweetie, he genuinely smiled, he wanted to make friends. Unfortunately, that just made everyone see him as weak

Being the youngest and smallest, he was often picked on by all of them. Pushed around, had his tail stepped on, called a butt load of horrible nicknames regarding his size, you name it. And it wasn’t just his family, it was every other animal he met! They all just talked down to him and always referred to Kenge as “the little lizard” instead of using his real name. And he hated it each time they used it

He met Ushari at a young age and they’ve been best friends ever since…Kenge’s only friend, actually. Ushari was really the only one who understood him (being constantly disrespected his entire life) and the entire reason why Kenge finally stood up to himself. Kenge misses him so much

Thanks to Ushari, Kenge decided it was time to stop all the intense bullying when he grew up a little. His bully this time was a young leopard (maybe a young Mapigano or one of Makucha’s friends idk). The leopard had purposefully stepped on his tail saying “Watch it, little lizard!”. That was the breaking point. Kenge bared his teeth and bit the big cat on the leg, hard. Everyone else who was laughing wasn’t laughing anymore. Kenge demands the leopard and everyone there call him a big lizard from now on or else…and it worked! Word spread out pretty quickly not to mess with the monitor and everyone finally left him alone! He had to admit, he kinda likes being feared by the other animals. There’s something so satisfying about it. He obviously didn’t really expect everyone to be scared of him, but whatever works ig

His siblings finally started respecting him, but he went off on his own cuz he doesn’t want any more of their toxicity. The eldest told him that he can’t survive by himself when he’s that young, but he managed so take that!

Kenge usually doesn’t like making friends. He doesn’t want to get attached just so he could get stabbed in the back by animals talking shit about him. It’s happened before. Having said that, he’s managed to befriend the skinks and Sumu. Since he stays in the Outlands, he started talking to them and found them to be surprisingly chill (Yes, even Sumu). Now he’s super protective towards them and would absolutely go mental if you try to hurt them. He’s not losing his friends again

He co-exists with the other animals in the Outlands. As long as no one bothers him, he’s respectful towards you

Post all the events in TLG, he’s doing a lot better. He’s become a tad more open minded and has even become a little nicer to animals who are nice to him. He’s starting to get more in touch with his younger self. Not a doormat, obviously, and he still hates being called little…but he smiles a lot more now and is less hateful of everyone. And he knows that Ushari’s looking out for him in the afterlife

[lynnedwardswrites]

The most disappointing thing about Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun was how little Edward's psyche and internal world were affected by the ability to know people (generally and individually) at a much deeper level than anyone else.

imo, Stephenie took an incredibly reductivist view of who people are in their own heads, and Edward's absolute disinterest in the people around him was both surprising and off-putting to me. I think he would have been a much more interesting character if he was actually deeply, obsessively interested in people, had a really robust model for categorizing people according to different patterns of thought, and was constantly anxious about his ability to identify and manipulate problem people perfectly and expertly on the fly.

Because Edward SHOULD have (for interesting story purposes) gotten his entire sense of value and belonging in the Cullen clan—despite his wretched past—FROM those skills and the way they benefited the group. It makes sense, with how melodramatically tortured and self-loathing he is, that he would have to have an equally self-loathing workaround that let him disbelieve every loving thought that's ever been absently directed at him, maybe attributing his family's generosity and good feeling to a base instinct to keep around people who increase chances of survival. He should believe people love him Because of his ability to protect. We even see this pattern in how he'll later interact with Bella, hating himself constantly for every ounce of danger he puts her in, sabotaging their relationship when the risk becomes too great that she'll realize what a shit choice he is and leave him for it.

And then of course there's the fact that reading EVERYONE'S MIND ALL THE TIME should drive you a little bit mad. You get 100x, 1000x the information listening to a conversation between friends than anyone else. You know people in ways they don't even know themselves. Everyone is Highly Predictable because you are highly obsessed with paying enough attention to make sure they are predictable, and you do not experience relationships like anyone else on the planet. Trust is not a thing, because you have All The Information. Not knowing how someone will react is not a thing, because you have A Humanity's Worth of Predictive Data On How Other People Like This Person Have Reacted. You're not a person, you're God In A Person's Body, But If You Slip Up No One Will Love You, and it is just frankly hard to find people who relate.

So with all that in mind, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FUCKING AWESOME to watch him, after discovering he can't read the new girl's thoughts, become first frustrated then manically, tortuously OBSESSED with Bella because she threatens absolutely everything he believes about himself. What if she's dangerous and I can't warn them? What if they realize I'm a fraud???

So he starts stalking her, talking to her, trying frantically to figure out what the physical and verbal cues are that signal all the mental patterns in people that he knows like the back of his hand, searching desperately for the warning signs he can't read in her mind, like someone who's gone unexpectedly blind. Complicated, of course, by the fact that HOLY SHIT SHE SMELLS DELICIOUS. And slowly, slowly, as he interacts with a human being like HE'S a human being for the first time, he starts to fall in love with her and how she makes him feel. He falls in love with her because she and she alone can make him human again.

The second most disappointing part of Midnight Sun was that Edward fell in love with Bella because "she's a good person" according to an equally boring, reductive, Mormon-culture-inspired view of feminine goodness. I mean, in the text, all she does is make a single comment about how comicon is Pretty Cool Actually™️. As though nerds who go to comicon are a particularly risky group of people to stand up for, as though there are not dozens of people at this school who wouldn't have said the same thing, who are not, at the very moment the interaction happens, also Being Nice™️.

No, no, no, no, fellow vampire fans. Edward should have fallen in love with Bella because, for the first time in his entire vampiric life, Edward is able to interact with another human the way people are meant to. Without knowing everything before it's said. Without knowing her so well from a clinical, objective point of view that he knows what she's going to think before she thinks it. He should have fallen in love with her because she IS normal in a way that's so rare for him that it's precious. Because she can change her mind and he won't see it coming. Because he can't break down every little flaw in her mental reasoning and just has to take her at her word. Bella represents Normalcy for a man who cannot have normal relationships, who is completely isolated and alienated from humanity by the voices in his head. Loving her because she was Nice™️ was just utter bullshit. He loves her because She Contributes Positively To His State Of Being.

In other news, this headcanon is also why I was absolutely devastated by the epilogue ending of Breaking Dawn, in which Bella learns to let Edward into her head. It felt like a punch to the gut for Edward. Like "no, wait, you don't understand how important it is to me that I DON'T see, that I am always able to feel human around you, without the clinical monster taking over. That I Have to trust you." That's what made the whole relationship for him, imo. Edward made her a vampire, and she made him human.

(Of course, I understand that this narrative would have broken the "hot guy is obsessed with normal girl and she has to make absolutely no effort and is under no pressure to be or do anything to continue to be deserving of that love" fantasy, but, well... That's why Midnight Sun should never have been written in the first place.)