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#braiding is free therapy change my mind
track2hack · 2 months
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03.04.2024
Don’t know how Gem puts up with me anymore, all I wanna do is braid her over and over again 🤷‍♀️😅
Attempt number 53946274931 to repel biddybids from taking over her mane and making me go insane!!!
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the-rockstar-lestat · 11 months
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How is the aspect of gender dysphoria handled in your kind ? I can imagine it must be miserable at times if hormone replacement therapy treatment dosent work ?
Fascinating question! Off the top of my head I don't believe I know any vampires who have attempted a medical transition, weather before or after their turning. So I will answer this question as best I can by telling you about my mother, Gabrielle.
What, did you think Gabrielle's cross dressing was merely for convenience? It may have started that way, but it didn't take long for my mother to begin preferring men's clothes to women's clothes, and it didn't take long after that for her to realize that it wasn't because men had more freedom, SHE simply felt more free in them.
This was around the time my mother abandoned my company, and society completely, to live in the forests or whatever it was she did for two hundred years. She tells me she reentered the human world around the time I left it, the 1920s, and with it came a new gender expression. (Before that, she says, they didn't really DO genders in the gobi desert. )
Gabrielle was a very early adapter of trousers on women, inspired by the likes of Greta Garbo and Katherine Hepburn. But she still identified as a woman. By the 1950s, she tells me she had found the lesbian scene, and that glorious word butch and for a long time, that was her identity. ("oh Lestat, you don't know how many beautiful women I ate back then," "....in what sense of the word --never mind, Mother, I don't want to know.")
Anyway, I believe that is what she was identifying as when I met her again, a butch woman. She had short hair for a while, cutting it off every night to better fit in with her subculture, but she, like myself, is a child of the 18th century, and didn't find her long hair a detriment to masculinity, despite her famous attempt to cut it. For a long time she wore it in a braid, along with simple, masculine clothes, mainly athletic wear, to suit her athletic lifestyle, although she occasionally donned female clothes, often simply to show off that she COULD. Sometimes a feminine touch was added, a pearl necklace, a high heel. But these were objects of our time as well, and not necessarily out of the bounds of masculinity. I don't believe she was ever truly comfortable presenting femme since the night I brought her into the blood. This was how I knew my Gabrielle.
Recently, however , led by the newest thought from the queer community, Gabrielle has begun rethinking her gender. She heard the term non-binary, and I don't think I've ever seen her REACT to something as much. There was something between man and woman, male and female? Something that didn't require her to confirm to either her assigned gender or the one she still had some resentment towards?
Since that revelation Gabrielle has talked a lot to me about her gender. Dysphoria was a term she used for the feeling when she was alive of "this isn't right" and may have been one of the (many) reasons she was such a cold person in life. Something was bothering her deep in her soul she didn't have a word for. Since she was able to present more masculinly she's been a much happier, much warmer person, she talks much more and is able to connect to people more than she ever could. (though she's still vice president of the introverted vampire society, second only to my Louis.) Gabrielle feels most at home in the queer community, and it's one of the few, though growing number of things we share. We invariably wish each other happy pride month.
As for how she dealt with it, her changes were minimal. She changed the clothes she wore, and occasionally her haircut. Gabrielle has yet to ask anyone to call her by a different name or pronoun, and she certainly doesn't mind when I call her Maman, though I most often call her by her name these days. Of course if she were ever to change her mind about this, we would all certainly oblige.
I don't believe she has any desire for surgery or hormones. If she had, I would have to ask Fareed if such a thing were possible. Our flesh is very difficult to pierce, but he has invented specialized needles before, I don't see why he couldn't invent a specialized scalpel. Our healing process is almost instantaneous, so the removal of flesh for what is commonly known as top surgery ,while painful, would probably be relatively simple to do and heal from. The adding or changing of it I imagine would be more difficult . Our bodies default to homeostasis (look at that beautiful science word I know!) as Louis once told you. I can see us rejecting any surgery or implants. Although it may be worth noting we can reattach our own amputated flesh. I've seen it happen and it's not a pretty process. I'm not sure what that signifies but perhaps....something.
I imagine , though, if a human was taking hormones before they were turned their body would maintain THAT amount of change, unable to be affected further or to revert. Like all vampires, they would be frozen as they were the night they were changed.
Anyway, that is in the realm of science poetry, but I can ask Fareed more about it if you like. It simply hasn't been tried. But I would be excited to watch it happen! I don't personally know any vampires who desire this, but it's a matter of time before we meet one, isn't it? And I have plenty of time.
@askblog-with-the-vampire will you ask Fareed if you see him?
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jnsq · 2 months
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SH Spring '24
so yet another rather serious bout of post-holiday blues that needs some pen therapy to soothe and ease the mind and soul back into the daily grind.
so to sum up - it feels way beyond awesome/-add any positive word here-, to be back in this city which I fell in love with at first sight when I landed circa Sep '19 for a week of work at the Portman.
this time round feels so different (and less stressful, well maybe there is some stress present in the form of 'visiting the places I want to visit before time is up') - most places seem oddly and strangely familiar but unfortunately, i'm not the one to get my bearings within a snap of a finger until i scrutinise the map on my phone during the little moments of free time in between and realise 'oh, it's nearby.' and too many times i've passed by a cafe i been too, a street i was on 5 years back. so yes, i could just about conclude that in the right company of friends, much of SH is quite achievable within 1 week as a tourist.
then of course, i wouldn't be typing all these if it were just about reliving 5-year-old memories.
so i was introduced to Y, L's bridesmaid come June, so she intended it as a sort of 'get to know one another better before you both meet again 2 months later'. then there was M, a friend of L and C, and again - 'just to make a new local friend who works in another industry (because i've grown to realised these connections can be really useful to have.)'
but I think the one person who really left 'an impression' on me was B. so we met 5 years ago when she popped by with her then-boyfriend (now history) and then it was post-work supper courtesy of the then-bf (again), and then it was also visiting her at her new bar back then (as it had just opened) so there was an exchange of contacts and nothing much else after. then leaving native - so i sent a note telling her i was leaving to take on another project and then we agreed to keep in touch/visit one another soon. then covid came and went - there was a brief conversation about linking a local friend to her as she was visiting SH and looking for bars. then after the next time we spoke was - 'hey i would be in SH during this time, hope to see you around and i'd love to visit your bar too.' so an initial coffee session was postponed cos of timings but subsequently rescheduled on a more relaxed day for the both of us. the funny thing was she couldn't recall who i was at the entrance while i was looking for the entrance to Flask but i recognised her outside, having a quick smoke with a client. only until i was seated inside and she popped by to ask about 'when the rest would be coming' and whilst waiting, 'maybe i can add you on WX so we can keep in contact.', then i said 'oh actually i already have you on WX' > sends a 'hello' text > and all comes to realization, she LOLs and said 'wow, i couldn't recognise you at the door. you look like you've put on a lil weight (oops).' then subsequently everyone else came order > freebies came > some of my drinks were comped > she came the 2nd round with JW Black cos 'out of respect' (and the first round was rum but poor me couldn't recall which) and i went home in a semi-high haze but not forgetting her reminding me of our meet-for-tea on Sunday (okay?) as we were about to leave.
so Sunday came, met her for coffee and some small bites. in between she soft 'insisted' i went out for a smoke with her. after a brief cough when i inhaled too much, she told me to stop but i said i was ok and went on. chatted, ate, sipped, while i was secretly admiring her features and how she kept toying with her braids in a playful-shy sort of manner. then we split for dinner but promised to link up later on after dinner 'if you have nothing on/don't mind'. so it was off to foot massage + super filling dinner so i texted her as i was about to complete my meal. reply came (asking for 'help' to help her down shots haha) > so hurriedly went (thankfully in time to change course in the mrt network) and ended up at where she was pretty quick. at this point of time, we have texted enough until i couldn't help but notice the constant 'tickling' on WX which i eventually also played along. but upon arrival, 'official matters' meant i was 'isolated' for a long moment, trying to determine my return flight timings until a screenshot and phonecall made me realized i've been fooled by some pretty decent photoshop work by my best bud LOL. then it was back to conversations and small shots of Templeton Rye 4YO with the sales manager and the boss of the bar. tbh, i wasn't expecting the conversation to take a turn towards the life and relationships side. and another surprising thing was (well actually i took the 'initiative' to move my stool a little closer to her) and then was pleasantly surprised when she started playfully touching/making brief physical contact to emphasise a point during the conversation and yes, the braid toying didn't stop, and her laugher was so cute! ok, i think at this point of time, i was really getting smitten by her.
so the convo topics, being with her, the brief moments of physical contact, that playfulness really got into me by the time i got into the cab home, but not before giving her a playful high-five (which she read well) just so it's a form of touch. (if the other 2 hadn't been out waiting together, i would have attempted a hug but oh well, let's see how this goes down the road).
so now there is C, then Y, then B.
bud actually dared me to do a confession for April Fool's to B, then hide it as an AF joke if it failed. but i think some things only he can pull off with aplomb. mine will sink to rock-bottom for sure with this one especially.
SH in Fall '24?
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egglantine23 · 7 months
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I love making us an ocs it’s part of my enjoyment of media sometimes there story altering and change huge chunks of the story and sometimes there small joke ocs that have little to no baring on the plot, and sometimes there an oc that is active in the story but the plot doesn’t change all that much.
Like my ATLA oc Mebh in the context of the show she has very little say in the story. And that on purpose I love avatar and I wouldn’t want to change it in a au and risk butchering it’s themes and story. After avatar and lok however are free rain in my mind. So here’s my atla au.
The spirit would in my mind is a bridge between other worlds it has many connections to many different places
One of those places is the world of the avatar and then there’s the world of witch’s
Mebh grew up in this world where magic and spells rain supreme, but magic is extremely difficult and laws limit it’s use to the upper classes with people having to go to extremely expensive schools and gain permission from the raining sovereign to practice magic
Mebh is a lower class girl from a small town
In the beginning of the series we would know nothing about her backstory just know she practiced magic illegally and got stuck in the world of avatar along with her familiar a owl griffin named peaches
Lost she runs into Zuko and Iroh during the first year of his banishment, she saves there lives from something and iroh decides to help her and she joins them on the ship
Mebh doesn’t ever help zuko on his journey to find the avatar, even after they find aang, but she never hinders it she just there to hangout with iroh and go through iroh therapy
She’s not really out of place and you can just assume for the most part that she’s a non bender with a weird look
She has light red hair that she keeps in two long braids and her clothes are a mix of fire nation, earth nation, and a earasaid so yea she stands out
Before the raid of the northern water tribe her magic is hinted at but due to how different it is she still only practices it In secret but now with the help of iroh who helps her figure out spells and magic
During the raid on the northern water tribe she mostly stays with iroh until the moon spirit scene
Mebhs people hold the moon in very high regard and credit it as there patron so when general zhao kills it she immediately attacks him with magic and only stopping when aang and the ocean spirit work together
After this her secret is out and she uses magic a lot more
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onlineseller007 · 8 months
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rebirtht0earth · 3 years
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i am really grateful for today; it’s been slow, but mindful and meaningful
i got up easily with my 7 am alarm to do my teeth care. then i promptly went for my morning walk so i was home before my love got up. i made myself breakfast and relaxed a bit while he took a shower. he made us coffee and then i started making challah bread (one loaf for our sis in law & one for us). 
i also made a batch of chocolate chip cookie bites (like Entenmann’s cookies!) while the dough was proofing. by the time the dough needed to be braided, the cookies were all baked. the one batch made 80 cookies (of which i ate like 12 this evening, hahaha)
i also tried something new with the challah bread - i made the loaves shorter and put them in my loaf pans to proof then bake. they came out very beautiful and i like the shape of the loaf out of the pan as opposed to just free form. 
then we got me Starbucks because i was low energy and wanted a reward for a successful day and week. shortly after finishing my cold brew, i had therapy. it’s been a good week so i was happy to discuss my wins. 
i cut out my evening cup of coffee a week ago and it has made a significant difference in my energy levels and motivation. i have been getting up on time or earlier, getting in my morning walk & having breakfast. i even started stretching like i’ve been hoping (i put it in my habit tracker for a few months but hadn’t done it). 
i feel my control over my coffee consumption has helped me challenge and have more control over my addictive urges or tendencies. i was starting to drink coffee at any chance or for any reason and it was making me more tired overall because my sleep sucked. so i realized it was negatively impacting my life (like drinking had been before 2020) and took measures to change that. 
it’s really empowering to take control of my life in ways i can 
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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years
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Cute
Pairing: Bucky x Reader (2,6k words) Description: Bucky has a crush on you that he can’t seem to ignore and Alpine is causing some trouble along the way. Prompt: "Wait, did you just call me cute?" (/w Bucky) For: @coffee-with-bucky​‘s challenge. Warnings: Nightmare, awkwardness, slight angst, fluff, not proofread
M A S T E R L I S T
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A white furball was sitting on the coffee table in front of a big dark figure, early in the spring morning. „Meow!“ Alpine voiced her opinion. „What‘s wrong, baby girl?“ Came back from Bucky‘s voice. „Meow.“ Her left paw went forward and tried to touch him. „You want to be pet?“ „Meow.“ His hand came closer and she pressed her head against it. „Rrrmeow.“ His hands both reached to scratch behind her ears. „Yeah, you like that, needy furball.“ He chuckled. She advanced towards him, putting her paws on his chest and booping his nose with hers. „You‘re a sweet girl, aren‘t you?“ She licked the tip of his nose. His smile was so giant, it was almost scary if you‘ve never seen it before. „God, you actually look cute when your face shows emotions,“ you commented in the door frame. He chuckled and stopped shortly after, „Wait, did you just call me cute?“ „Yeah. Happens when you‘re not looking like the death himself.“ You grinned at him. His face was back at its usual asshole resting face. You sat down very close to him, seeing Alpine sit down on the other side of him. „You look good when you smile. I like that look on you.“ You smiled behind your mug. „Meow.“ „Look she agrees.“ You reached out to squish his cheeks together and make him chuckle, which you succeed in. „Stop.“ He grumbled and grabbed you. You, dodging it by throwing yourself against him. „Darling!“ he threw you a stern look and you giggled, coming back up right in front of his face, seeing a smile vanish to a slight blush on his face. „Sorry if I made you uncomfortable,“ you mumbled. „No, no. Not at all.“ He looked down at his hands. God, he had such a crush on you, but he couldn‘t and shouldn‘t. It wouldn‘t work, he couldn‘t even hold a conversation. He was glad you even felt comfortable around him. „Meow!“ Alpine pushed her head into his side very hard to make him move towards you. „Alpine, no.“ He mumbled and got a protesting meow back. She was determined. „What is she trying to tell you?“ You dipped your head to the side. „Uh, just, nothing.“ He was so weird all of a sudden. The furball licked her paw and then put it up in your direction before dipping her head to the side with a purr. „Did she just...alright, wow. Can you understand us?“ You got closer to the cat but got an almost arrogant stance back. „I ask her that all the time.“ He chuckled nervously. „Did she mean kissing?“ You were thoroughly confused by what she had just done. „Um.“ He looked away, blushing profusely. Your eyes got big, „She did.“ „I need to go.“ He mumbled, grabbed the protesting cat and booked it.
-
It was your free day, until it wasn‘t. The team that was out on a mission came back in a hurry. With a baby. „You two stay here, keep her safe. We need to find the organization trying to hurt her.“ „Where is her mom?“ „Gone. Just keep her safe. We need to go.“ And Steve and the others were already out of the compound again, leaving you with a baby in your arms. „Friday, put the security level up.“ „Will do.“ When you came back into the living room you saw Bucky watch his favorite show without even noticing you. Alpine made a leap off the couch to come towards you and loop through your legs. A coo made the giant man raise a brow and turn around. „What in the mother of-“ „They dropped her off and currently try to chase down the people wanting her for some reason.“ You shrugged and sat down next to him. „You‘re good with children, right? I didn‘t have much family and I honestly have no idea what to do other than holding her. Help.“ You looked into his eyes helplessly. „I haven‘t- Fine.“ He grabbed her out of your grasp. „Friday? Do we know her name?“ „Her name is Olive.“ „Hey, I‘ll call you Lilly. Alright?“ He cooed down at the little bundle and got a little coo back. The baby looked extra small in his grasp, but it also looked way more relaxed than with you. Her eyes got heavier and heavier the more he slightly moved her just right. „Yeah, you probably had an exhausting day, baby girl.“ He smiled down at her. That smile that was reserved for pets and children. That „I‘m not being judged“ smile. „I‘d never be that good with children.“ You mumbled and had him look up. „What? No, you‘re just not used to it. I think you‘d be great with children.“ „Really?“ „Yeah, you‘re good at taking care of people. Why not put that into a smaller version.“ He put down the little girl between the both of you on the couch and watched her sleep. „Do you want children?“ You asked a little shy. That was a personal question to ask such a traumatized person. „Yeah. One day.“ He smiled down at Olive and took her little hand. „I think you‘d be a great dad.“ You smiled and saw him look up and blush. „Um, thanks. Uh, do- Do you want children one day?“ He stammered. „Maybe. Only if I find the right person.“ You shrugged and looked away. „You will. I‘m sure of it,“ he answered as Olive already started to fuzz again. Watching him be so good at this kinda made you think twice if you really wanted this one day. You felt like anyone would be more qualified at it than you. „You got this, right? I- I think I need to just-“ You gestured towards the door before making your way out, leaving behind a confused Bucky looking at a baby in his arms and a cat that disapprovingly put her head back down.
-
He looked pretty beaten up after this particular intense mission. Two cuts in the face and a bullet wound in is side. You sat down on his bed in the med bay, „Hey.“ „Hey.“ You got a soft smile from him. „Do you need help with cleaning up those wounds?“ You asked reluctant. „I mean, they only did the bullet wound, so I‘d appreciate it.“ He chuckled a bit strained. You got everything you needed and sat down next to him again, moving his head how you needed it. He frowned for a second before his expression eased at...whatever it eased at. You didn‘t notice the stare at your lips that kept him thoroughly distracted. It would be so easy for him to just go for it right now, but he shouldn‘t. He knew he shouldn‘t. „Aaand you‘re all cleaned up again.“ You smiled at him and got a tiny „Thank you“ back. „Anything else?“ You dipped your head to the side. „What else would there be?“ He smiled. „I could get you clothes to change into, make your hair less messy, get you some food,“ you suggested. „Make my hair less messy. Please.“ He played the idiot in need, but he really just wanted to feel your hands in his hair. You sat down behind him, started detangling it and sending chills down his spine. Then you started braiding little braids into it and he was sure that this was his undoing. And as you saw his shoulders relax you gave him a little scalp massage, letting him lose all the tension he was holding. „God, I could kiss you right now. This is amazing.“ He grumbled relaxed. „Wouldn‘t hold it against you.“ You chuckled as you sat next to him again. „Is that so?“ He smirked. „Yeah, well, I‘m pretty good, aren‘t I?“ „Yeah.“ There was this softness, this fuzz in the air. 
-
Alpine came walking towards you in the very early morning as you wanted to get yourself some warm milk with honey to fall back asleep. Nothing she usually did. Normally she was always a step behind or ahead of Bucky. You frowned and crouched down. „Is there something wrong, sweetie?“ „Meow.“ „I take that as a yes.“ „Meow.“ You made your way to his quarters in the compound and knocked at his door. When there was no answer you pushed the slightly ajar door open. „Where is he, Alpine?“ You looked down and saw her rush towards the bathroom door. She scratched the surface lightly with soft meows. She was not a trained therapy cat but she sure as hell was one hell of a buddy. The bond they both had showed especially now. „Bucky?“ You asked soft but nervous. Nothing. „Alpine got me here. What is wrong? Please open the door.“ You explained and asked. „Meow.“ Harder Scratching, paws reaching under the door. „Friday? Can you please unlock this door?“ „Protocol: MHE. Door unlocked.“ You pushed down the handle slowly, letting Alpine rush in first before you could even see anything. You only heard her purring before you saw her forcefully cuddle into a hunched figure. „Bucky…“ You came towards him, sat down in front of him. Nothing. You reached out for his flesh arm to feel him. He was a little cold for his usual supersoldier warmth. „Wait, I‘ll get you a blanket,“ you mumbled, coming back with a giant black soft throw blanket. „Bucky, please talk to me.“ He didn‘t move the head leaning on top of one of his arms. Alpine in the small room between his thighs and his chest pushed against him. She was purring and making biscuits on him as best as she could. Truly a good girl. „James, at least pet Alpine. You don‘t have to talk to me, but she‘s doing a great job.“ A shaky breath left him before his free hand reached for Alpine and carefully went through her fur. „Meow.“ She looked up at him. You just knew. She was verbally mothering him, kicking his ass. „Thank you, Al.“ A deep, nasally and rough voice came from him before his face came up a bit so she could climb higher on his chest to be scratched. „What happened?“ You asked softly again. „Bad dream. Somehow you were a person brought in to make me comply and...you were killed by a drone strike somehow. God, I have a lot of gore in my mind, but that was horrible.“ You saw tears form in his eyes again and pulled him close. „I‘m here. See? I‘m hugging you and I‘m here. You won‘t let anything bad happen to me, ever. I know that.“ You tried to soothe him. He grabbed you, squeezed your arms, your waist, your hips, touched your hair. „It looked so fucking bad. It was awful. I can‘t get the picture out of my head.“ He dug his face into the crook of your neck. „Think about your favorite moment with me then. Or that mission where I accidentally shot Steve in his arm. Or when Alpine tried to tell you to kiss me.“ You chuckled. His hands wandered up and down your body, relaxing both of you. „You know, I really kinda want it. To kiss you, I mean.“ He stumbled over his words. „What‘s holding you back?“ You whispered. „My brain.“ His head came up and looked at you. You could see the troubled mind in his eyes. „Then what‘s your heart saying?“ You asked pointing at it. His face turned soft, „That you‘re cute.“
You went through his hair carefully, still a little concerned about him. „I know, I should cut it off,“ he mumbled. „Huh? No, you don‘t need to. I like you with any type of hairstyle.“ You offered him a soft smile. „I want it short again. I don‘t wanna look like him anymore. Not after that dream.“ He shuddered at the mention. „Now?“ You asked still going through it and saw him nod. „Do you trust me?“ „I do.“ You got up, grabbed scissors and an electric razor from all over his bathroom, before taking his blanket away from him under protest of both him and his cat. The cat proceeded to lay down in the warm blanket pile shortly after. You put his hair in three tails, cut them off while being watched carefully. His shoulders relaxed when that step was finished. You proceeded to get all of his top hair up into a tail, helping with various products in spray bottles, cause you were definitely not used to doing this anymore. Alpine jumped a little when the razor turned on, but when she saw Bucky visibly relax even more she rolled back into a furball on the blanket pile. You shaved down his sides and back a decent amount. Not too much. You didn‘t want to make this look military style. Then you continued with the top of his head. You didn‘t know which length would be ideal. Maybe not too short, but too long also looked off with his fluffy hair. You still wanted to indulge in playing with it though. Maybe about 3-4 cm / 1-2 inches long. It took a while for you to figure out the way you needed to go about cutting it but you were finished with it in no time. With soft brushes over his hair you got rid of any hair that didn‘t belong there anymore before making him stand up. „WOAH.“ His eyes got wide as he went through his hair, looking at your quality work. „You like it?“ „I love it.“ He looked at you in the mirror, seeing a loving shimmer in your eyes. Maybe he DID deserve you. „We should go to bed. I only slept like 3 hours because of that,“ he mumbled and you nodded as you put out the bathroom light and closed the door behind Alpine. You padded after him, making him do a full stop and turn around a little confused. „What?“ You asked rubbing your eyes and he really couldn‘t say no. So he did the next best thing coming to his mind, grabbed around your waist and let himself fall into his bed. „Idiot.“ You giggled into his chest and climbed up a bit a few seconds later. „Hey.“ He smiled up at you as you grabbed into his hair. „Hey handsome.“ You smirked all tired before cuddling yourself against him and planting your face in his neckline. Yeah, maybe he did deserve you.
-
In your routine of being half awake and grumpy you turned around to hit something unusual with your arm. „Ouch.“ You heard next to you pretty monotone, then holding back laughter. „Sorry, B.“ You pushed yourself into his grasp to fall back asleep. „Darling, it‘s noon.“ You pried one of your eyes open to look at him judgingly. „C‘mere,“ he cooed as he pulled you extra close. „Didn‘t know you could show that emotion.“ You giggled as you gave him a little kiss on his cheek. „Oh, believe me. There are a lot of emotions that are a you-only thing.“ He grinned at you and felt your hand pat up the side of his face to find the proper position. „Show me another.“ You smiled up at him all sleepy. This was a now or in three uncomfortable weeks kinda situation. You were just enough in sleep mode for him to feel less awkward about making a move on you. So he reached for your face and finally went for that damn kiss that‘s been the topic of his life for weeks. Your hand went through his new short hair with a hum, pushing him down for more. Yes, definitely the right decision.
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adasttrawrites · 4 years
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The Boombox - a Dramione one-shot
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751569
Hi! I’ve been part of the Dramione fandom since I was 13 but I’ve never written anything - this is my first attempt, ten years later. Let me know how I did!
This little one-shot is set in an AU, one year after the Second Wizarding War, where the surviving teenagers are given the option of coming back for an eighth year to complete their studies. The war criminals have been Obliviated (and are under strict observation) and all those found guilty of minor crimes have had mandatory therapy and thorough rehabilitation. 
Eighth-year students have been given a seperate common room and dormitories to allow them privacy from the rest of the school. 
xx Tina
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter.
It was 5 o’clock in the evening and the common room was half-filled. Several eighth-years were on their shifts to monitor their old house common rooms and patrol the hallways, Harry Potter and Ron  Weasley included.
Hermione Granger was sitting in an armchair. She was sitting incorrectly, Draco Malfoy observed from his seat on the sofa. Her back was resting against one arm and her legs were swung over the other. She was engrossed in a book, but when Seamus Finnigan set down a large contraption on the coffee table, both she and Draco snapped their heads in his direction.
“Oh my Gods, is that —?” Hermione stood up, walking over to Seamus.
“A boombox!” He looked at it proudly. “My da bought it for me! It’s charmed to work without electricity.”
Draco didn’t know what a boombox was, nor electricity, nor why Hermione Granger was so excited about the strange contraption.
“Do you have any cassettes to play?” She pushed a button and static fizzled out of the the box.
Seamus rifled through his trouser pocket and produced what Draco assumed was a cassette. By this time, everyone had gathered around. Draco watched as Hermione fiddled with the box and suddenly, music poured out of the machine. She jumped to her feet in joy.
“I love this song!”
“What is it?” Neville Longbottom asked. He was curious, having never seen a boombox, either.
“It’s a Muggle music player.” Seamus explained. “This is a Muggle song. It’s by one of the best Muggle bands in the world.”
“It’s the best band in the entire world, Seamus.” Hermione corrected, getting up from her crouched position. She addressed her fellow classmates. “It’s called ‘All My Loving’ and it’s by The Beatles.”
“Beetles?” Blaise Zabini gave Draco a funny look. The handful of students in the room who knew the song had gotten to their feet and started dancing with each other. The Slytherin students didn’t, obviously. Draco watched as Hermione grabbed Neville by the hands and pulled him over to a clear space to dance. Luna Lovegood was standing by the fireplace, wiggling her arms in the air, a distant look on her face. Draco had to admit that the song wasn’t terrible, and he found himself almost smiling when Neville dipped Hermione over his knee. Her face was pink and her curls touched the floor.
“Draco?” Pansy Parkinson tapped his shoulder. “Won’t you dance with me?” She looked nervous, but he knew she was trying to be amicable. She was making an attempt to be involved, like all the Slytherin students in their year. She had even let Ginny Weasley braid her hair the evening before.
“Uh,” Draco glanced back to the scene in front of him before tearing his eyes away to look at Pansy. He didn’t want to look like an idiot, but his rehabilitation officer told him to make a better effort in socialising. “Sure.”
They awkwardly tried to figure out how to dance to the Muggle song and were making little progress when someone touched Draco’s elbow. He turned, embarrassment flushing his face, to see Neville and Hermione smiling at him.
“Do you want us to show you?”
He could see Pansy swallowing her pride. She let go of Draco and took Neville’s hand. Draco was left with Hermione standing in front of him, looking at him expectantly. Just as he steeled himself to place a hand on her waist, the song changed. It was slower. He looked at the boombox, panicked. Hermione put one timid hand on his shoulder and the other into his free hand, forcing him to look at her.
“This one is called “Can’t Fight This Feeling”, she murmured, starting to move her feet. He followed her directions and tried very hard not to pay attention to her fuzzy cat socks or the lyrics of the song. Suddenly she twirled as the chorus began, and before long, he realised that he was leading. They were dancing.
He was dancing with Hermione Granger in front of everyone, to a love song.
“You’re doing great!” A voice broke his reverie and he looked at his dance partner, who shockingly seemed to be enjoying herself. For the first time since they met as first-years, he smiled at her sincerely. A laugh to his left made him look over to see Neville and Pansy dancing like they were the best of friends. It was odd. Oil and water mixing should have been more chaotic, but for whatever reason, coming back to Hogwarts to finish their studies was effortless. Maybe it was the fact that all the captured Death Eaters had been Obliviated, his father included. Maybe it was the desperation to cling to some normality after the previous year. Maybe it was people on both sides realising that enough of their loved ones had died. Whatever it was, Neville and Pansy were laughing and dancing in each others’ arms. As were Blaise and Ginny Weasley. As were he and Granger. He noticed that she was close enough for him to smell her shampoo. It was fruity. The music changed again.
Many times I tried to tell you
Many times I cried alone.
“Granger,” he spoke softly, barely audible over the sound of the music. Her eyes were glazed over, her gaze fixed on a button on his shirt. She looked up. He looked at the smattering of gold flecks in her brown eyes.
Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone
Don't want to leave you really.
“What is it?”
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under.
“Thank you.”
She smiled up at him, and he wondered why he spent so many years trying to make her cry.
“For what?”
Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway.
“For teaching me how to dance.”
She just smiled again, and let go of his hand to place it on his shoulder. Automatically, he dropped his hand to her waist and suddenly, they were closer than before. Now he could actually feel the warmth coming off her body and he wondered how someone so full of life and light could bear to be so near to someone like him, someone so cold.
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together.
His face must have conveyed the questions running through his head because she lifted a soft hand to his face, her palm against his jaw.
“Don’t think so hard, Draco.” His name tumbled out of her mouth so casually. Like they were friends. He shot a nervous glance at Pansy, who was plastered to Neville, swaying against him like she was drunk. Actually, she did look drunk. Drunk with happiness. Blaise had picked up Ginny and was spinning around. Luna had convinced Seamus to dance with her. Everyone was dancing. It dawned on Draco that they were all drunk on happiness. This was the first time they had done something carefree in months, maybe years. It was certainly the first time in a long time for him.
We can't begin to know it, how much we really care
I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did.” The words were out before he could think. He gently clutched her arm. The raised lettering made him shudder and he focused on her with an intensity that made her blush.
“You didn’t do this.”
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better
We belong, we belong, we belong together.
“Then I’m sorry for what I didn’t do.”
For standing by.
For not being brave.
For not saving her from Bellatrix.
For being a coward.
“You know,” she pulled his neck down and whispered into his ear, “I forgave you long ago. It’s over now. We’re fine, you and me.”
He reared back slightly, stunned. How could she? How could she forgive so easily? How could she let go of the pain and suffering that his side had caused her? Was it so easy for her? Was she so good?
“I don’t deserve it.”
His shoulders were tense and he knew she could feel it. Her hand found its way to his cheek, again, and he revelled in how the warmth could make his whole body feel warm. She continued to speak softly.
“Everyone is trying to move on, Draco. So many people died for us to be here today.” She lookee down at the carpet and he knew the dead were still haunting her. She looked up at him, again. “If I hadn’t forgiven you, they would have died in vain, and we would still be fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore, do you?”
He shook his head. He wondered if she had always been this wise. A know-it-all, yes, but wise? Perhaps he wasted so much of his effort on being cruel that he never stopped to think of how valid she was. A witch, more deserving of the title than most, and a good person with a heart of gold, he knew that to be true with no doubt in his mind.
“Thank you.” He absentmindedly tugged one of her curls and watched it bounce back to sit on her collarbone. “Thank you for everything. I don’t deserve it.”
She shrugged. “Thank you.”
“What do you me— why are you thanking me?”
“For letting me teach you how to dance.” She winked at him.
He offered her another smile and, suddenly unsure why his heart was beating so hard, dipped her as the song finished. She stood back up and laughed. It was a lovely sound, one he had never heard before. They weren’t dancing any more, just standing far too close to each other, still holding hands. Over her shoulder, he saw Weasley and Potter enter the room. Potter looked confused, the Weasel looked horrified. Before either of them could cause a scene, Draco bent down to brush his lips against Hermione’s knuckles and smiled, gratefully.
“Another time. Your friends are waiting for you. Goodnight, Hermione.”
Before she could say anything, he was walking away towards the male dormitory. She stood there, amazed at how warm he was, and how cold she felt without him holding her.
“Hermione, what the fuck were you doing?!”
- written by Tina (@whyboyfriendwhenicecream) 
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oh-theatre · 4 years
Text
Objection!: Chapter 29
Chapter title: Staring Into Hell
A/n: Ew EW EW EW I HATE THIS I HATE MY WORK I HATE EVERYTHING WHY ARE YOU STILL READ AAAA BLEH! ANyway heres a new chapter, hope you enjoy I guess anD PLEASE LEAVE ME COMMENTS
First | Previous | Next
words: 2224
summary: With Logans remaining anger, they all just try to get through the days
pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile
warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying
Ao3 Link  
“A wheelchair?” Logan baffles, he doesn't understand but Patton does. His mind already races quickly and goes over everything he’ll need to adjust for his lifestyle. He can hear Logan shooting questions towards the doctor but he can't focus on the deep set panic. How will he make his commute, take his children to school, oh my how may he present himself in court? “I simply do not understand doctor” Logan finishes
“I know its a difficult situation but it seems as though his injuries could worsen if we allow him to return to his normal life instantly it could have detrimental effects” He explains, Patton takes Logan's hand comfortingly, kissing it sweetly.”This is a precaution of the most vital need, he will attend physical therapy and we will make sure he is in top shape.” Logan huffs, a disappointed scowl. Patton gives an apologetic look to the doctor, he takes his cue. “Ill leave you two to discuss”
“Lo..” Patton ushers, Logan sits himself on the bed, in front of Patton. “I want to be able to hold my kids, I want to walk through the courtroom, I want to be able to…” He feels the ring around his finger, Logan had returned it almost as soon as Patton had awakened. “I want to be able to walk down the aisle” He smiles. Logan chuckles, though still restrained he understood.
“Alright...Alright” He nods, Patton gives him a grin. His hand places itself carefully on the lawyer's chest as Logan pulls him in for a kiss. “Now to more grim matters…” He proposes, Patton sighs averting his eyes. The room had been severely decorated by Emile. Who wanted nothing more than the father to feel at home. At his bedside table were three framed photos. The first was of Patton and the children on the day of their adoption, he held the twins with vibrant tears in his eyes. The second was of Patton and Logan, a photographer had taken it while the pair had danced at the gala. The third however, he wished for it to be taken away, Virgil and him smiling exhausted as their children climbed them happily. That used to be his most treasured photo….
Used to be
Now the sight of Virgil conjured the worst of stomachaches and the most confusion. He shook it out of his head allowing Logan to kiss him on his forehead but he kept facing away.
“We will discuss it at a later time” Logan allows, Patton nods feeling his eyes grow heavy with exhaustion, listening to Logan's farewell. “I'm going to go and get you some food”
“Jamahl!” Patton yells, he serves the children already sitting at the table, happily bouncing for breakfast. Terrance flaps excited as Remus and Valerie chow down quickly. Patton huffs rubbing his hands on his apron. “Jamahl breakfast! Lets go!” Patton attempts again, Logan chuckles coyly taking Patton in for a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Good morning busy bees” Logan greets, a kiss to each of their foreheads. Patton cleans, finally the kitchen looks untouched. And yet as Logan reads his paper, the children discuss in chatters, one piece is missing. Patton taps annoyed, he checks his watch once more. “Something bothering you love?” Logan inquires, washing away his cup.
“I have to get the children to school, Terrence to daycare and I have a court case” Patton lists, he looks to the stairs that lead up. “Jamahl!” He calls again, Logan takes him from behind, leaning his head on his husband's shoulder. “What on earth is he up to?” The clock buzzes giving neither time to answer. “Crap I've gotta go”
“I'll get him to school, you take the three musketeers,” Logan promises, his hand moving down Patton's arm while his pinky interlaces itself with Pattons. A quick squeeze before a blushed Patton rushes to get the children on their way.
“Wakey wakey Patton” A cold voice shivered down Patton's already sweaty back. He yawns sitting up, rubbing his blurred vision as he reaches for his glasses. Soon enough his blinking pays and he wishes it had not. “Feeling better cupcake?”
“Feel like i'm going to vomit” Patton replies, a scowl returns to his face. Liam smirks taking a spot at the end of the bed. “Why are you here?” He asks for what seems the millionth time. Liam inches closer, and for a moment Patton can just seem himself return to his sinking self. Liam could take his cheeks right now and Patton fears his own control. Thank god for his fiancee
What a stranger idea
Fiancee
He couldn't help but blush
“Liam, I'm going to give a single millisecond to remove yourself from the premises” Logan announces, Patton bites his lower lip. Liam nods but stands. “Go on now, coward”
“Actually I dont think I want to” Liam chuckles, Patton swears things moved too quickly. Logan grabs his collar, delicately but hes pinned now on the wall. “What the hell! Get off of me!”
Huh
Weird
That was Patton's line
“Get out and leave Patton and his childr-”
“Our!” Patton corrects “Our children” he smiles, Logan refuses the intense urge to grin but nods.
”-Our children alone” He makes the change, proudly. Liam groans, finally getting the clearly superior man off of him. He gives Patton one more glare before disappearing. Logan wipes his hands, sanitizing. Patton falls back on his pillow laughing. “What? I don't like him” Logan sits.
“You and me both dearest” Patton sighs, he stretches his arms gladly taking Logans water. “Hey” His tone softens, he reaches for Logans more than ready hand. “I want kids” He admits, Logan retracts, sucking in.
“I hate to inform you but you already do” Logan teases “Two in fact” Patton turns to his shoulder laughing, Logan would never get tired of that. Patton tugged carefully, Logan takes his lay next to him. He wraps him up, they lounge comfortably.
“I want more” He finds Logans fingers, interlacing them carefully. “With you” He requests, Logan lets out a sweet breath, kissing gently on the nape of Patton's neck. “I know we have the twins, and I love them more than anything, but I want more kids...i want a-”
“Family” Logan completes
~~~
“Talk to me Logan!” Virgil grabs the lawyers arms, the fuming rage he faces terrifies him. “Please just let me explain”
“You dont get it do you? There is no explanation” Logan faces him. “Thats it, nothing is justifiable ok?”
“It was for Damian! I had just gotten him, I was young and stupid and wanted to make sure my kid was ok! I have never felt so much shame in my life but I needed it” Virgil rushes, Logan keeps his face cold but he knows in a heartbeat Patton would figure Virgil.
“And Remy?” But before Virgil can answer his face resolves “Emiles surgery…” Virgil nods, shuffling his feet on the ground. “Still, you shouldn't have taken the money, there were other ways...other solutions. You're just lucky that Patton was able to get out of that situation.” Logan tries his hardest to remain calm, his breath quivers but he musnt. “But what would have happened if Patton had not, if he had stayed?”
“I know that! Look, don't tell Patton, I need him to forgive me in his own time...I don't want him to know why...he's too forgiving and he has every right to be upset but I needed you to understand” Logan nods, he still has his duvidas. “But Logan....why do you care so much if we took the money?”
“Because I didn't Virgil” Logan reveals, the detective's heart drops. Of course it was a stupid question in the first place, it was Patton, it was a bribe. “I had a case, we had a case. We could have gotten him out of there. But then strangely two of my testimonies dropped out”  Logan shook his hand, grunting. “I don't want to talk about this, or talk to you, or anything” He takes his coffees disappearing behind Patton's room. “Hey”
“Hi!” Patton smiles, the twins giggle from their hiding spot. Logan keeps his eyes forward however, as if nothing was heard. “I can't seem to find the twins, would you care to help me my love?” Logan breaths, a cheeky smirk .
“I suppose I can, I wouldn't want our children to disappear” He laments, soon the door opens and they both rush into Logan's arms.
“No dada!” They cry, he kneels hugging them tight. Patton watches from his bed, his heart couldn't comprehend this. Was this real? Logan carries the kids to the bed, all four of them. A happy family...their happy family. His…
“You alright honeybee?” Logan whispers as the twins focus their energy on the tv. Patton nods, cradling himself into Logan's chest, the twins following into their fathers. “You look sad”
“No no...far from it” He promises, kissing Logan. “Are you? I heard some frustrated voices outside” Patton fiddles with Valerie's hair, braiding it gently. “Sounded like Virgil…”
“Not right now Pat” Logan assures “We are here, together and…” He falters, Patton turns him. He wipes away the newly freshened tears. “I apologize Patton, it seems I am overwhelmed at the moment” Logan admits, Patton purses his lip struggling to reach the tissues. “I love you”
“And I you”
~~~
“Alright shithead, fucker, pile of trash-”
“Virgil” Remy kicks him under the table, the detective glares. “Liam” Remy seethes. “You want to tell me where you were approximately an hour after the situation was diffused?”
“I was behind the barricade, the doctors were checking me” Liam concludes, Virgil kicks the chair. He knows as soon as he checks with the emergency response team, Liam would be on their record. He may be a flaming pile of trash but he isn't a killer.
“You're free to go” Virgil bites his lip, feeling his skin almost chew off.
“And I didnt even have to pay you this time” Liam snarls, Remy holds Virgil back while Liam makes his way out.
“Argh!” Virgil pounds, Remy signals for the rest of the team to leave from behind their one way mirror. “I'm so sick of him beating us! Always beating the goddamn system!” Virgil huffs, Remy's hand placed on his back for support. “I shouldnt have done it, we shouldnt have taken the fucking money Remy”
“I know...I know..I know I know-”
“Stop it!” Virgil slaps the table “Just...I have to go”  Virgil grunts.
“Patton?” Virgil knocks “Pat? Ready to-” Virgil pauses listening to the grunts
“Shut it or ill stuff-” The voice pauses “Whos there?” The detective recognizes the disgusting voice of the slimy intoxicating man. Liam.
“Its Virgil, Pat and I have a lunch date” He knocks once more, quiet but annoyed shuffling can be heard before the door opens up. Patton whimpers on the couch, his beagle Molly comforting him, the twins safely away at his sisters. “Are you ready to go?” He addresses. The lawyer coughs, clearly wiping something away from his face. He stands, plastering a fake smile. Virgil sees the bruise, he sees it and he goes towards Liam as Patton gets into his car. “WHat the hell did you do?” He accuses
“Now now detective, remember that information is not for you...not anymore” His sly smile turns Virgil's stomach. “If I do recall, a hundred grand being placed in yours and detective Nyx’s name sealed that”
For damian
For damian
For me…
He felt sick
~~~
“You're not giving me much choice” Roman sighs,Logan smirks, rolling his eyes. The pair make their way from the cafeteria, holding three trays of food. Logans, Romans and of course Pattons. The breeze was chilly as the doors would swirl open every now and then. Roman enjoyed this moment, right now, everything was fine. Everything was ok.
“You alright?” Logan asks, turning the corner, he smiles politely to the nurses and doctors who rush by.
“I'm doing alright for myself specs” Roman catches himself in the bliss. James, Patton, his job, his friends...everything was alright. Pattons room was just up ahead, he could make out two figures. James must have beaten them to it. His phone buzzes in his coat, he holds them up for a moment. “Roman Reial!”
“Ro?” It was soft, almost a squeak but he knew who was on the other line. Virgil.
“What is it?” He felt commanding, a fierce tone as he demands an answer. He could hear the sniffles, the desperation and he softened. “Virge?” He whispered.
“I...I need to talk to you please” He begs, Roman could feel the heat rise. Logan furrows his brows but allows them to continue the conversation. “Just later? A-at some point?”
“Sure, yeah, of course” He rushes, the phone falls into his pocket. Had he hung up? Thank god he hadn't. They approach the door, swinging it open with charm. “Alright we hav-” His heart fell flat, the scene couldn't have played out like this. “James” Roman barely breathes
“That does appear to be my name” The judge says, Logans lips tremble angrily
“And you do appear to be pointing a gun at my fiance” Logan growls
“Well he just won't die” James claims, a quick click.
The safety's off
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divine-draws · 4 years
Text
lov: vigilante (2 of ??)
The afternoon sunlight filtered in through the blinds of the Leagues’ “base”. The building was an older slightly run down building that Shirakumo happily bought for the ragtag group. Over the years the walls got patched in places and got a fresh coat of paint. The furniture consisted of odds and ends and there was the necessities for a group of vigilantes: first aid supplies, a kitchen that was in various states of being stocked, a couple rooms to crash in if needed, concealed storage for their gear, and of course video game systems. It was far from the nicest place, but to the League it was basically home. 
A meeting about some future ops and a schedule for patrol had ended an hour ago and each member went off to do their own things. Currently Dabi sat on the couch with Shigaraki’s head in his lap and his hands in Toga’s hair. He planned on taking a nap, but clearly that plan went to hell. Toga chattered on about class and everything else that day as Dabi did her hair. He hummed occasionally and was in fact listening to what she said. He was partial to who she had a crush on and what teachers were dicks. He knew which of her coworkers she gelled with and what music she was listening to on repeat. He might be a dick but he had some decency and Toga was basically a little sister to him. 
Once he finished up the last braid and pinned it into place, she hopped up off the floor, planting a dramatic kiss on Dabi’s forehead. She effectively dodged his lazy swipe at her and giggled as she ran off to somewhere else, most likely looking for Twice to talk with now. Dabi leaned back with a sigh, though his peace was quickly disturbed once again. Shigaraki shifted some and made a noise in the back of his throat, not looking up from his Switch. 
“You guys are fucking leaches,” Dabi grumbled though he burried his fingers in Shigaraki’s hair this time, scratching at his scalp. Shigaraki quickly melted under the warm touch.
“Not my fault you’re a walking space heater.”
“I’m going to start charging you guys.” That didn’t get a response instead there was a quiet hum as Shigaraki tilted his head some to get Dabi to reach a certain spot.
“You’re like Monchan,” Dabi grumbled though his voice had an affectionate lilt to it. The aforementioned dog perked up at the sound of his name, looking at Dabi from where he lay on Shigaraki’s legs. Mon laid his head back down after a moment as Dabi continued to massage Shigaraki’s head and play with his hair. A comfortable silence fell over the two of them only broken by the occasional content hum. Despite all of his complaints, Dabi didn’t mind giving the others attention like this, especially Shigaraki. They’d known each other the longest and both had come far in many ways. Dabi could easily recall a frail and angry Tenko who would flinch anytime he would touch others or be touched by someone else. A scared kid who didn’t have nearly enough support or therapy, who could barely even stand to look at his own hand and who would pick and scratch relentlessly at his skin. The 20 year-old who laid sprawled out on the couch, leaning into his touch, was far from that kid. Shigaraki had issues, yes. He still would pick and scratch but he’d gotten better. He still had times where the thought of his own hands and quirk made him sick or left him shaking after nightmares. He was still prickly as ever but it’s not like Dabi had room to speak on that matter. Honestly, it wasn’t just Shigaraki or Dabi that had immense improvement over the years. Everyone who became part of their little family came out better than before. Society and many heroes may have failed them in one way or another, but the all found their way back onto their feet stronger than ever.
“Awww, when you two aren’t at each other’s throats, you can be so cute.” The cooing, quite literally, voice startled Dabi out of his thoughts. Shigaraki, who had his eyes closed and Switch resting on his chest, glared up at the newcomer. Hawks just grinned down at the two of them, preening a bit at the fact neither of them noticed him come in.
“Sorry to interrupt. Just thought I’d drop by.” 
Hawks made his way around the couch. He pushed some empty glasses out of the way before sitting on the coffee table across from them, careful to not knock anything over with his wings or tail. He clearly just got off work seeing as his hero costume was still on. He idly pushed his goggles up and out of his face, pushing his unruly hair back with them. 
“Don’t sit on my coffee table, you oversized chicken,” Shigaraki grumbled, continuing to glare at Hawks, though it was weak and the the complaint just sounded annoyed at best.
“Wow, is that how you treat all of your guests?” Hawks asked with a light, dramatic gasp. Drama queen. “I thought at least one of you would be excited to see me.” His gaze shifted over to Dabi as he said that.
“Listen birdie…” He let his sentence trail off, fingers still in Shigaraki’s hair. “Go get changed and then we’ll talk.”
“I was gunna wait until we got home but… If you insist.” He shot Dabi a lopsided grin before standing up. The edges of his smile looked a bit strained and his shoulders were too tense for his easy going demeanor. As Hawks turned tail and headed to one of the spare rooms where he had a change of clothes, Dabi noticed the way Hawks shook his hands some before clenching and unclenching his fingers. It seemed he wasn’t the only one to notice the anxious tells. Shigaraki sat up and nudged Mon who hopped off the couch. 
“I’m gunna go take Monchan for a walk,” he said as he got up and put his Switch away. They were all aware, at this point, of Hawks’ situation. They knew more than enough about what the Commission did and still does. Just like the actual members of the League, they all cared for Hawks and did their best to support him.
Dabi got up off the couch and headed for the room Hawks slipped away to as Shigaraki went about putting Mon on a leash. It was mostly quiet in the building. The distant sound of Toga and Twice talking could be heard from another room and the building made noises as it settled, but it was a peaceful afternoon for the League. Dabi knocked on the door, one hand on the handle as he quietly listened for a response. 
“Yeah?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh, come in.” 
Dabi opened the door, quietly closing it behind himself. Hawks was already out of most of his costume, the compression suit being the last part he had to remove. Hawks gave him a small smile as he quickly slipped out of the suit. The halter top esque design of the suit made getting and out easy for him. He quickly went to put on pants and a loose shirt, sending some feathers out to make his wings small enough to easily slip through the slits in the back. Dabi sat on the edge of the bed as he got dressed, silently holding out his arms once Hawks was done. A moment later, Hawks sat in his lap and buried his face in the crook of his neck.
“Hey Kei.” Dabi’s words were soft and just loud enough to be heard by only them. 
“Hey Touya,” came the shaky reply. Hawks trembled for a moment before slumping against Dabi, taking in the heat.
“Wanna talk about it?” He ran his hot hands along Hawks’ back, pressing into sore muscles and working out knots as best he could from this angle. 
“Just a meeting and a rough debrief.” Hawks nosed at Dabi’s chin before sighing. “Just wanna relax a bit…” Dabi hummed and continued to rub his back.
“Let’s lay down for a bit,” he eventually said, shifting away some as he spoke. Hawks got off his lap so Dabi could scoot back and get under the covers. Hawks was quick to follow, curling up against Dabi’s side, laying mostly on his stomach to allow his wings and tail the room they needed. Dabi alternated between playing with his hair, rubbing his back and arms, and smoothing out the feathers he could reach on his wings. Hawks stretched out his wings some, doing the same with his taloned feet, finally free from the confines of his work boots.
“Do you want to take a nap? I can make some food for when you wake up,” Dabi suggested. Hawks chirped softly.
“Is Toga here still?”
“Yeah. I’m sure she’ll want to do facemasks later. We can preen your wings too. I have no idea how you get them so fucked up all the time,” he teased lightly.
“Well it’s a good thing I have you guys then.” 
Dabi pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Yeah… Alright birdie, I’m gunna go start making some food. You stay here and get some rest.” Hawks whined a bit when Dabi began to move, taking his warmth with him, but he remained in bed anyway.
“Nooo you’re so warm.” Hawks looked up at Dabi with a pout and half lidded eyes.
“I know, Kei. Get some rest, and I’ll warm you up again later, okay?” 
“Fine,” he relented with a huff.
Later, when food was made and everyone who was there ate, they found themselves once again in the living room. Hawks laid himself out on Dabi’s chest, basking in the warmth as he carded his fingers through the bleach blond hair. Toga and Shigaraki each took a wing, correcting feathers and coating them in the protective dust the downy provided. Being cared for and preened took Hawks a bit of getting used to, but it was something he needed desperately and the others were happy to provide. Dabi typically took charge of this, but Toga was ever eager to help just like Hawks was eager to do Toga’s hair even if he was shit at it at first. It took Shigaraki some warming up, even with the great improvement of his touch aversion and fear of hurting anyone with his hands. The first time a feather came back as dust in his hands he wouldn’t touch anyone for a week, Hawks explaining it was because, like birds of prey, he didn’t have oil glands and instead some feathers would create a dust. Eventually, after plenty of time and reassurance, Shigaraki eagerly took up preening his wings, even if he acted like he wasn’t.
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sunshinemackay · 4 years
Text
marriage story - george mackay x reader
warnings: nothing!
word count: 2043
inspired by the film marriage story! 
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-Shall I start?
The man in front of her and George, who sat in a chair next to her as well, nodded:
-Okay, um... -y/n sighed, looking at the paper in front of her.- What I love about George is that he's always doing something new. He wakes up on Sunday morning and the first thing in his mind is: What should we do today? Let's watch some DIY's about gardening and try them... Even if he fails, he always keeps his smile and tries his best to improve things, even if it's a failed attempt of a DIY, which our kids love as well -she laughed softly.- What I love about him is that he's passionate about the things he loves. He's also great with our kids and he’s the best dad out there. He helps them with everything and takes them to school when he’s home, which gives me time for myself that I appreciate and he always makes me... used to make me smile when I was sad and... -she sniffled.- I'm sorry, erm... He always knows the right thing to do when it comes to household things. Broken sink? Don't worry, he'll probably fix it with his, as he used to say, magic belt full of tools. He likes our neighbors, which is weird but amazing because sometimes they are annoying, but he's always helping them and inviting them for lunch. He's very close to his family and he's always made me feel part of them from the beginning, which is nice. -y/n looked at him.- I love his eyes because whenever I looked at them I felt safe and at home, no matter where we were or if we were apart due to his work. They are the perfect shade of blue. He’s passionate and nice to everyone but that’s how he is. -she took a deep breath.- That’s all.
y/n sighed, folding the paper and putting it in her pocket:
-Your turn, George.
-Yeah. -He looked at the paper in front of him and coughed.- What I love about y/n is that she always wakes me up with breakfast ready and she's always so proud of her cooking. She should be, she makes the best cakes out there. She also listens to everything a person has to say and makes them feel comfortable even if they are telling a story that may not interest her. She cries a lot when we are reading together or we are watching movies with our kids because she's passionate, emotional and empathetic. She swears a lot but tries to stop it in the cutest way possible, covering her mouth and muttering a little sorry, which leads to her filling the “no-swear” jar we have at home. She's the best teacher out there, she spends nights working on resources to make her students learn and play at the same time because she feels that they should be having fun at school and she does the same at home. I love that our kids appreciate physical activities and creativity as much as she does because they’ll end up taking after her which is amazing because she’s perfect. I love that she hangs out with my mum when I'm working or my dad is travelling so my mom doesn’t feel alone.  She has a lot of clothes and sometimes when I walk into our closet they are clothes all over the floor but when she comes in and asks me if I like her outfit with that big smile, I don't care at all about the clothes because she's still the prettiest girl I've ever seen and she’ll always be. 
y/n sniffled and looked at the mediator in front of her. They have been going to couple therapy for a few weeks now. Their marriage was going through a rough path since the beginning of the month before which led to a lot of tears, fights and screams all around the house, affecting their kids as well:
-That was good. I'm glad you have decided to participate and express your feelings in front of the other. That's a good exercise to do at home, if you are willing to work on your problems, of course.
***
-Mommy!
-Hi baby, did you have a good time?
-I did, grandma made us dinner and we played with Monty. 
George hugged her mum, taking little sleeping Samuel out of her arms and placed a kiss on the head of the baby boy. y/n approached her mother-in-law and hugged her, tears threatening of leaving her eyes:
-Careful with the road.
-Will do.
George placed the boy in the car and fastened the seat belt as y/n did the same with Flora.
George sighed and got in the car, waiting for y/n to get in the passenger’s side. When she did it, he started the car and drove back home:
-Grandma taught me how to braid hair.
-Did she? -George asked.- Would you like to braid my hair some day?
-You hair is short, daddy! 
-I can put on a wig if you’d like.
y/n smiled and bit her lip, looking out the window. As soon as they arrived home, y/n left the car and opened the back door, taking out Samuel from his seat, the little boy placing his head on her chest. George opened the main door of their house and Flora ran inside:
-Hey Flora, get ready for bed, ok?
She nodded and ran upstairs. George turned around, looking at his wife:
-I can change him if you want.
-Don’t worry. I haven’t seen him all day, I want to cuddle with him for a few minutes. -y/n said.- By the way, would you like to sleep in our bed tonight?
-Huh?
-The bed in the guest room is not that comfortable and I know your back must be sore.
-How do you know that?
-I saw the cream in the bathroom, you know, the one we use when we have muscle pain?
-Oh. 
-I still worry about you.
-I didn’t say that you don’t.
-But you think so. Anyway, you can sleep there if you want. -George saw a tear leave y/n’s eyes.- I can sleep in the guest room or even in Flora's room.
-I don’t mind sleeping in the guest room, y/n.
-We’ll talk about it. 
y/n went upstairs, entered Samuel’s room and took his pyjamas from the drawer, changing him out of his clothes before kissing him on the forehead. She thought about him, her beautiful 3-year-old and Flora, her 6-year-old and sighed. If they ended up getting a divorce,  what would they do? She placed him inside the bed and ran her fingers through his hair, thinking about the similarities he had with George. His eyes, his hair… She left the room, turning off the lights and walked to Flora’s room, seeing her and George reading together:
-Mommy, read with us?
-I need to go to the bathroom but I’ll be back to sing you a song before you fall asleep, I promise.
-Ok, hurry up!
***
y/n closed the door behind her and walked to the guest room, already in her pyjamas:
-I thought you were going to sleep in our bed tonight?
-I don’t care about my back so… I’d rather sleep here.
-Ok. -y/n was in the door, looking at George already in the bed and sighed.- Did you mean everything you said today?
-What?
-Did you mean it?
-Of course I did, why would I lie? Did you mean it?
-I just... -she cried.- I'm sorry. 
-y/n...
-Sorry, I just... I'm not feeling well. Good night.
-y/n.
She entered the bedroom and closed the door, getting into the bed.
George, on the other side, was still in the guest room, wondering what he could do. He didn't want to lose everything he had in his life only because they've been going through difficult times. He truly loved her and he knew that the feelings were mutual. He took off his shoes and sighed, looking at the ceiling. For a few minutes, he closed his eyes and tried his best not to cry, thinking about her, their kids and everything they had in common.
He stood up and walked to the bedroom, knocking softly and opening the door:
-y/n. -he could hear the sniffles.- Are you awake? Can I come in?
-Yes...
George sat on the bed net to her and she turned around:
-You forgot to take your makeup off. 
-Shit. -she closed her mouth.- Sorry. I need to put money in the “no-swear” jar.
George smiled:
-Do you want me to take it off for you?
y/n nodded and George walked into their shared bathroom, taking some makeup remover pads and walked into the bedroom again. y/n was now sitting, back in the headboard, sheets covering her body. He sat again and pressed the pads softly into her skin, moving them in circles to take the remaining makeup off her face and eyes:
-I'm done.
-Thank you.
-I want us to talk. -y/n looked at him, her eyes and nose red.- y/n I want this to work. We are the dream team, you and me. And I mean everything I said and more. I love you even more and this won't make me fall out of love with you. Stupid fights won’t do that. You’re it for life. I can't imagine not being with you my love. I promise you that. Even since I met you I dreamt of marrying you and let me tell you that I have never felt something similar with another person until we had our kids. They are the light of my life and I’m so grateful that you are their mom because you’re the perfect mom and the perfect wife and I won’t change my opinion because we are going through rough times. Every couple goes through that. -George placed his right hand on top of hers and his free hand on her wet cheek, scared that she would push him away but she didn't.- I love you. I'm willing to go to therapy a thousand times if that means that we are going to be together and that we are going to be okay at the end. We do this because we need to learn to communicate better and we will. I promise you that. I understand that maybe I’ve hurt you during these weeks and I blame myself every night for it but I love you and I’m willing to do everything you ask me for just to make you happy. You had me wrapped around your finger since the beginning. 
-I love you.
-What?
-I love you. I love you so much, I don't think you understand. 
George kissed her hand, looking directly into her eyes:
-The fact that you think I don't love you as much as before, God, are you stupid? -she smiled- I love you and I want to make this right and I mean everything I said in that letter. Listen, I... I'm sorry if I've hurt you.
-You could never hurt me. 
-Don't lie... I've done things that are wrong as well, like not talking to you when I was angry and not helping you when you also needed help around the house and with the kids. I know it's not easy for you to express how you feel and... -George opened his mouth but she placed a hand on it.- Let me finish. I want us to go to therapy, we need help to recover from this but I want us to make changes around the house and help each other and say what bothers us and what does not. I want us to be the family we were before and that will require a lot of work but I know, with all my heart that we are going to do it. 
George smiled, hugging her and kissing her cheek, finally feeling his skiing against her for what it felt like forever. They hugged each other for some minutes, smiling. If they worked together, everything was going to be okay.
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lunaschild2016 · 4 years
Text
Belief - Part 1 (Edit)
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Rating: M
Devi is Dauntless. Through blood sweat and tears she made a place for herself three years ago when she left her life in Amity behind. Not once in that three years has Eric Coulter even deigned to look her way. Not until that night. Now she has nothing but his attention. Eric/OC AU [Smut, Language, Romance]
 Title and story inspired by   Belief   by Gavin DeGraw
Character Inspiration:
Devi Nunez- Diane Guerrero
Eric Coulter- Jai Courtney
Elijah - Alexander Skarsgård
                                                      ~~Belief~~
Tonight you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
Belief
Builds from scratch
Doesn't have to relax
It doesn't need space
Long live the queen
And I'll be the king
In the collar of grace
Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
Belief
[Belief, Gavin DeGraw]
                  **********************************************************
 Part 1
 A dare is a fucking dare, and Dauntless don’t give up. I’m dauntless now and have been for the last three years.
I’m doing okay here. I’ve made a place for myself and some friends. Although it was hard leaving everyone I knew behind in Amity, I did it. Even when I knew that my grandparents and brother would wash their hands of me when I left. It wasn’t anything personal but they’re just staunch advocates for peace.
Okay, so maybe for them it was a little personal. They felt like I rejected them, who they are, and everything they stand for. It hurt them badly.
I’ve always held a secret hope they would come to see that I left because my staying would be like a slap in the face to them every day. Small wounds that would build up over time until finally I would knick a vein and cause whatever love we had to just bleed out for good.
See, I can’t even make an analogy about how much I would end up hurting my family without it turning into something out of a war story or horror film.
The thing is I don't really have a big story or wrong from my life in Amity. Not really. It was kind of perfect and I followed along every day with a smile on my face. Granted, my family drowned ourselves in peace serum laced foods and drinks so that helped keep the smile in place. I arrived in Dauntless with the carb-laden proof on my hips and thighs and that took some serious work to fix my first few months here.
I still can’t quite kick the carb habit, so there’s more cushion than there should be probably.
Back in Amity I sang happily, played instruments, braided hair, and took part in the free love once I hit puberty and was flooded with all those lovely hormones.
But my favorite part of life back there was working with the animals. Horses mainly. When we had the rare chance to tame one, gentle we call it though others might have called it breaking them in, I was one of the first they called. I've always had a way about me. I can be gentle when called for but my stubbornness and determination always saw me winning in the end.
Looking back I know that should have been my first clue.
That life I led before, it all changed the day I took the aptitude test. I went in expecting nothing but a life in Amity. It was all planned out for me. That test changed everything in the blink of an eye.
Dauntless.
That was what the Abnegation woman told me, looking at me with understanding soulful eyes as she did so. There was no hiding my shock or stopping the sobs that wracked my body. The woman held me in her arms and told me that it would be okay. I didn’t know how it could be okay when I was feeling, at that moment, that my life was a lie. That  I  was a lie.
Just before I walked out of the door she reached out for my arm and held me back. Her eyes were full of determination and something else that reached deep into me. “You can choose Amity tomorrow, but if you do, you will never truly know who you are or who you could be.”
I went home with her words still ringing in my ears and a tangle of confusing feelings within my heart. I hadn’t been able to hide the pain on my face so my family saw it clearly. They knew as soon as they saw me what that meant. They didn’t ask what faction I got but they knew it wasn’t Amity and they made their position very clear. As gently as mi Abuela could, she let me know that if I left they would not see me again.
They would uphold faction before blood.
I was scared like I had never been before in my life, but I also felt strangely alive.
It was exactly like I felt in the paddock facing an animal that was easily eight inches taller than me and had at least a couple of hundred pounds on me if not more.  I’m a five-foot-four-inch Latina girl that has a few extra pounds in some areas, but I still look like the wind could blow me over. Imagine me standing face to face with beasts towering over me. It must have looked ridiculous.
Out of the paddock, I’m very self-aware, even a little self-conscious. But inside it that all melts away and there is no fear for me. 
When dealing with all the animals I understood that some of the things we had to do could and were considered cruel by others but they never bothered me. Even when some of those things involved the slaughtering of the livestock that is specifically raised for the purposes of feeding the factions. I always had the mindset that it had to be done but at least we could do it in the least stressful way as possible.
As I lay in bed that night after the test I went over things like that in my mind and it had been like unlocking some part of me that had always been held back until the revelation of the aptitude test. I knew then that the Abnegation woman from my test was right. I was given the truth and my path, and I knew I couldn't turn away from it.
I never backed down then and that’s something that hasn’t changed even now.
I have found myself here. It took a lot of work and some very unexpected struggles but I also like who I have become.
Generally, I love my life and who I am.  
Even during times like right now when I know that come the morning sober me is going to be hating the fuck out of drunk me. 
I glare over at my friend as she smirks back at me from across the bar table. I toss back the shot and beer chaser one after the other, then slam the glasses back onto the table.
“Fine! I will!” I snap at her, then shove my way through the bar and head to the door.
My three friends follow close behind me, alternating between disbelieving murmurs or begging me not to do it. I hear one pleading with me to back down for once and that only makes me even more determined to follow through with it.
But seriously, did she really think that was going to happen?
It's a serious character flaw, I know, my refusal to give in or up. Even when it results in situations like back in my initiation and the fights started. I refused to go down easy and more than half of them resulted in me being beaten up pretty badly. I still didn’t give up. And when my next fight came up, no matter how hurt I was, I stepped up and gave it my all.
That alone got me enough points to eke out the ranking I need to get my Physio Therapy and Medic Nurse positions and titles. Three years later and I've worked my way to the position of Head Nurse.  
Walking through the compound, drunk and on the highest heels I could manage to get, is proving a challenge. I wobble and curse as the stone floors throw up obstacles that make me look like I’m a sailor on the deck of a ship during a storm, swaying back and forth. It doesn’t help that even with the heels I am still a couple of inches shorter than most of the people around and have difficulties getting noticed that I’m trying to get through.
I finally manage to shove my way to my objective.
The Pit has different levels with various hangout spots throughout. Some are open-air, meaning they are shoved into some nook that’s carved out of the stone but otherwise have no real enclosures. Others are full-on bars with swinging doors and everything.
Where I need to be is an open-air hangout that is really popular with the high ranking people in Dauntless. It’s a prime location because it’s high enough up that the people there can see almost all places in the Pit. Leaders are known for hanging out there after hours to be able to keep an eye on things and while winding down.
I always thought that it made them seem like they were half part of the faction and half sitting on thrones, lording over everyone.
As I spot him that analogy seems to hit home. He sits at the table like a king on his throne and the people surrounding him sure seem intent on treating him like he’s one.
I can’t help but observe this with a sneer crossing my face as it sure doesn’t seem he’s much of a reluctant ‘king’ as he’s always claiming. He seems to be eating it up as they all gather to kiss his feet and lick his ass. That’s exactly the thought that got me into the position I am now. Drunkenly weaving my way towards his table.
Just a bit ago I loudly made that comment to my friends in the middle of an angry rant and my friend AJ immediately jumped on it, daring me to say those exact words to his face.
And dammit, I’m just mad and drunk enough that I’m going to do exactly that. He needs to know how fucked up what he did is and I am going to tell the legendary Four just what I think of him!
I make my way to his table but there’s a virtual wall of people around him. Some are standing but most are sitting in or on any available surface. Not one of them pays any attention to me as I give polite squeaked pleads to be let through.
One guy looks me dead in the eye, raises an eyebrow, and snorts at me dismissively.
If I wasn’t already pissed that sure did the damn trick. It just fuels it even more, driving any sense of propriety or rational thought from my mind.
Usually, I’m a pretty even-tempered girl unless it comes to something I'm extremely passionate about. But when I came to Dauntless I discovered that once my temper is lit it makes me into a volcano. A tiny one, no doubt, but don’t let my size fool you. I can do some damage now when I need to.
Lucky for the douchebag that fanned the flames my fuse was already lit by someone else and come hell or high water he's going to know it. I furiously look around and my eyes narrow at the nearest table as an idea pops into my head.
With a determined smile, I stomp my way over to the table and start to climb up it. I completely disregard the fact that this table is currently occupied. There was an empty space for me to use for the climb and that was invitation enough for me.
Glasses and bottles scatter and fall, breaking as they go tumbling while I scramble up onto the table and then wobble as I move from my kneeled position to try and stand. The table is solid stone and has no give but my slim stilettos don’t seem to like this new development.
I look down at the shoes I fell in love with and just had to have, prepared to give them a glare and order them to behave. Instead, I get distracted by the realization that they really do make my legs look killer. Vera gushingly informed me when I first showed up in them earlier tonight and I have to agree.
The shouting from around me, as the occupants of the table protest the loss of their drinks, brings me around and I shake my head and the drunken smirk from my face.
“Focus, Devi!” I loudly scold myself and square my shoulders as I stand up, lifting my chin as my eyes zero in on my target.
This is when I notice that many eyes are on me and there are even some people catcalling or whistling while chanting ‘dance, dance '. I would tell those idiots off normally but I see this has gotten the person's attention I wanted all along.
“Hey, Four!” I bellow out loudly, trying to really project my voice. I figure just telling Four what I think isn’t enough anymore. The whole damn faction should know.
The table under me shakes with the force of whoever just slammed their fist down as they yelled. “Fucking figures,” with something that sounds like a groan and growl all in one. But I’m too focused to see who that is or what he means.
Four is looking right at me, startled enough that he isn’t paying attention to the blurry yet vaguely familiar girl beside him who’s trying to get his attention and furiously whispering in his ear.
“I have something to say to you,” I yell with a hand on my hip and my eyes narrowed in anger.
“Devi?” He calls out and that stupid concerned looks he gets crosses his face. “Are you drunk right now?”
“No! And fuck you with your…” I gesture wildly at him, meaning to indicate his face and failing. So I try again using my face while searching for the words to describe what I mean but they're all coming up Spanish in my mind. When the English words finally come to me, I gasp out and continue on triumphantly. “Your stupid puckered forehead and puppy dog eyes, trying to look all concerned and nice. I’ve got news for you. Eres un cabròn. You aren’t as nice as you play at being or what everyone thinks and I’m sick of it!”
“Well, this just got interesting,” Drifts up to me from somewhere below me while around me I can hear mixed reactions from the audience.
There are a good many girls that are scowling at me, shouting out insults. Other people are simply chuckling or making various other sounds of amusement and cheers.
Four briefly looks at the blurry and out of focus girl (those drinks are starting to really hit me hard) who’s still trying to get his attention and seems to make some kind of reassuring gesture to her while he stands and locks eyes with me. His eyes are narrowed in that same concerned look while he slowly starts to raise his hands while approaching me.
I guess it's supposed to look like he’s trying to reassure me but honestly, to me, it just looks like he’s surrendering.
“If this is about earlier today…”
Four speaking and the raised hands just irritate me and I scowl while hissing to myself. “Dauntless don’t give up.”
Then I stomp my foot on the table in determination, ready to repeat that out loud, making something shatter beneath the point of my heel. Someone jumps back from the table cursing but again I press on.
“Remember that? A Dauntless doesn’t give up. We both learned the same thing but maybe I remember it better than you do. Maybe it was too easy for you, Mr. Dauntless Prodigy,” I snort the unofficial nickname for him. “Maybe if you had learned the hard way as I had to it would have stuck a little bit better for you.” I pop my hip out to the side and put my hand on it while staring him down.
“Do you even  try  …” I wave my hand out, almost losing my balance in the process but just barely manage to stay standing “...to actually help them? The initiates you insist on continuing to train yourself? Did you actually try and help that girl? Did you try and tell her that the pain would pass and she would get stronger for it if she could just hang on? No! What did you say to her while she was laying in that bed ready to give up and walk away?” I’m furious now, my blood boiling at the memory. “All you said to her was that these were the new rules and there was nothing that could be done. All you did was imply...  hey...I know you just got the shit kicked out of you but that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t make the rules. I just have to go by them.  Not one word from you that she could become more, that she could become Dauntless. It’s bullshit!” I yell once again, but this time even more fiercely.
The force my yelling and using my body to gesture in my anger unbalances my already precarious position and I lurch forward, arms flailing wildly as I pitch forward. I close my eyes, certain my end is coming and wonder what they’re going to say at my memorial at the chasm.
'Devi, she went how all Dauntless should. Drunk, pissed and stupid.’
“Alright. That’s enough for you tonight.” A voice drawls surprisingly close to me. I realize that the hard feeling against my body is actually that of someone else's against mine, not the ground as I expected. Someone that has me held tightly in his arms and even tighter against his body.
I decide it’s safe to open my eyes again to see who my savior from a very humiliating death is, and get an eye full of black clothes until they travel up to see a jawline made of stone and even harder blue eyes glaring down at me.
“Leave her alone, Eric. She’s drunk and doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ll get her home.” Four says, getting my attention and I look to see he’s standing in front of me after having barely had to push his way through the crowd.
They all just fucking parted for him like Moses and the Red Sea.
“Como si fuera a ir a cualquier parte contigo. Metelo en el culo Mejor aún, ¡espero que un pollo te pique la polla!” I spit out furiously while glaring at Four.
“Sounds like she doesn’t want anything to do with you at the moment,” Eric says with a chuckle after I threw out a few more choice words in Spanish. More insults that were all livestock oriented and made not a damn bit of sense outside of Amity.
“I don’t!” I nod firmly with a look of smug defiance.
“Devi, you’re drunk and upset about the girl leaving. But you  don’t  need to be going off alone with  him .”
The already taut muscles of Eric’s arms go even tighter as he tenses. It almost feels like there’s a slight tremor in his muscles and apprehension radiates up and down my spine, tingling along the way. I might not know a lot about Eric, despite being in the same faction for over three years and having shared the same initiation. But there is one thing I know for sure and that is Eric’s temper makes mine look like a missile strike against his nuclear explosion.
Still, this isn’t Eric’s fight and I refuse to let him take it on and fight it for me. I started this and I intend to finish it.
“Fuck you, Four!” I snarl out, my face contorting in my anger.
He was already stepping forward, arms out to take me from Eric. I swipe at his arms violently but then immediately switch to gripping Eric’s tightly, nails digging in, when I felt him moving me. There was a moment I thought he was going to hand me over and I certainly didn’t want that to happen, but it turned out he was moving me away from Four.
“You don’t get to tell me what I should do and that girl has a fucking name by the way. It’s Rain, and now she’ll never have the family she left everyone behind for because you didn’t even try to talk her out of walking away. Why didn’t you try!" I yell, my voice breaking a little. "You could’ve told her that it gets better and the pain doesn’t last. You always want to look down your nose at Eric but at least he's always been honest with her and all the rest of them. Yes, he was pushing them hard but at least when he was people like her had a chance. Then you went and complained to get your way. Everyone is always so ready to kiss your ass and lick your feet….” I pause and shake my head because that isn’t right, “I mean kiss your feet and lick your ass…” That sounds right but confusion makes it feel like it isn’t. “You know what I mean!” I huff finally. “Sometimes you have to break someone to make them stronger and she needed to know that. She needed her trainer to tell her she could do it.”
I can tell I’ve royally pissed Four off but I don’t care. It’s all true. And it also hurt me too much to watch that girl throw her life away by giving up. That made me need to hurt someone in return.
“Enough, Devi. You’ve had your say. Now go sleep it off but we will be talking about this privately.” Four says lowly before turning and walking away, vanishing into the crowd that rushes in and blurs around him.
Things had already started to go on the blurring, spinning side, but it feels like hits me even harder all of the sudden. I guess the rush of adrenaline that was pushing me through my drunken state has finally started to fade enough that all that liquor I downed in a short amount of time has decided it’s time to really have fun with me. You would think it's already had its fill by me showing my ass in the Pit but obviously, there is more in store for me. It’s leaving me spinning and groaning as I let my head briefly rest against the solid surface of Eric’s chest.
“I don’t feel so good,” I mutter into his chest after some minutes pass and the spinning hasn’t gotten any better.
I don’t dare to open my eyes. At first, it feels like the air is rushing past my body. Making me think I really am spinning. When I look up all I can see at first is Eric staring straight ahead with his jaw tense but his mouth moving slightly. Like he’s muttering under his breath. I look away from him to see that sensation of air rushing along my body is because we're in motion. Eric still has me locked against his body and is walking at a steady pace but doesn't seem to be rushing. We are nowhere near the pit, telling me he’s already been walking for a bit and I didn’t even realize it.
I try to determine where we are but everything looks like blurred streaks making my head hurt and stomach flip. I groan and slam my eyes shut again.
“I swear if you throw up on me I’ll assign you maid duties in my apartment for a fucking month.”
“I won’t. I just spin.” I reply with a pained sigh before I dare to open my eyes again. Trying to look around me. The doors and hallways are still all speeding by and nothing looks familiar. “Are you taking me home with you, Eric?”
The words come out and I pause, tilting my head because it sounds off to me. Almost as if there was excitement in my tone.
Eric chuckles but it’s so deep and husky that the only reason I realize it is a chuckle is that his body and chest vibrates with it.
He comes to a stop and looks down at me when I tilted my head back to look up at him. His eyes look darker in the light of the residential hallways and the shadows from them make his cheeks morph so that his natural predatory expression just seems even more feral. His eyes flick away from me and he takes a breath then shifts so he has all my weight on one arm while also using his leg to balance me. He leans towards me until I can almost feel the heat of his breath on me.
“Not tonight, little one,” He pauses and lifts his free arm to pound on a door then wraps that arm securely around me again.
Silence fills the heartbeats as I look between him and the door, wondering what the hell’s going on. When there is rustling coming from the other side, Eric gets my attention again. This time it isn’t just the heat of his breath, but the brush of his lips against my ear as he speaks.
“You might not have ever meant to get my attention, Devi,” Locks are being thrown on the other side of the door when I swear I feel the nip of his teeth on the tip of my ear, “But you certainly have it, little one. You better be ready for me now.”
Is that a threat? A promise? Why does it feel like both?
The door opens suddenly and I see Tori standing there, completely disheveled and looking extremely put out to be disturbed. She's not even a bit less intimidating by her state of dress at all.
That’s the thing I most admire about the older woman. I’m sure that most people would be uneasy having to approach her when she is looking like this. While if I tried to pull this same look off it would make me look like a petulant child. She’s certainly always been respected by those that know her but especially now that she became one of our leaders after all the bullshit that went on with Erudite with the assistance of the old Dauntless leader regime.
I grin drunkenly at her which causes her to sniff even as her expression softened slightly for me. Then her eyes shifted over and hardened again when she eyes Eric. Or rather me in Eric’s arms.
“Little late for a tattoo don’t you think, guys?” She deadpans while crossing her arms over her chest.
I start to chuckle, while Eric starts to move without even replying. He doesn’t even ask before he moves forward and through the door, with Tori scowling in his direction but not stopping him either.
His steps take him quickly to the couch where he leans down from the waist and deposits me onto the cushions while speaking over his shoulder to Tori. “Take care of that for me, will ya? I’ll be back to retrieve her in the morning.” He straightens and turns his back to me. Completely ignoring the fact that he’s disregarding me while doing so, and continues to speak to her. “I expect her to still be here.”
The fact that he hasn’t once looked at me again from the time Tori opened the door, along with the fact that he’s treating me like some package he has any control over, just pisses me off. So obviously I have to say and do something about this.
I pop up to get off that couch with every intention of telling him I sleep where I want. When I want. And with who I want….
Only the room starts spinning. I flop back against the couch like a fish out of the water while moaning loudly and putting a hand to my head.
“Wait! Why am I the one being stuck with the extremely drunk girl? One that looks like she’s minutes away from being sick all over my carpet? Need I tell you how hard that shit is to clean from white carpet?”
I crack my eyes open to try and get out something in protest but only let out another moan. I see Eric casually shrugging then turning back to me, reaching down like he’s going to scoop me back up but he does it very slowly and with a smirk on his lips. “Okay. I can take her back to my place like she was asking but I won’t be responsible for what happens there. I just thought I would give that thing that you're always on me about a try. You know, to be less of a selfish dick.”
“Well fuck,” Tori sighs and pushes him away from me just as his hands brush against me. “Fine. But you owe me.”
He grins at her, flashing teeth and looking younger somehow. It occurs to me that I’ve never seen Eric Coulter smile before. At least not like that. I watch all of that as he walks towards the door with some kind of rekindling of a long-dormant, repressed really, desire inside of me as I watch him go. 
Maybe it's my stomach rebelling and Tori really should be worried?
Before he gets to the door he looks at me, really looks at me, for the first time since we entered the apartment and winks.
Wait...Eric just….winked at me?
It takes entirely too long for me to process any of that and by that time Tori is walking towards me from somewhere. In her hands, she has a glass of water and a bottle of pills while a shirt is draped over her arm.
You wouldn’t think it with how she greeted the two of us and the exchange just after, but Tori is the closest thing to real family I have here in Dauntless. She has been since shortly after I arrived. Sure, I have friends now, but none of them are as close to me as she is and none of them were there for me like she’s been.
In my initiation, I was a pariah.
My former faction alone was already a source of ridicule but I had other things going against me from the start. Most everyone just pretended I didn’t exist since it was easier to refuse to get close to someone that was never going to make it. Others seemed to take offense at me being in Dauntless at all. This was usually conveyed by their taunts and making fun of me in any way they could.
Once I was even attacked. I didn’t go down without giving them as good as I got. But I usually faced them, and anything during that time, alone.
One day I wandered into the parlor and after that, I practically lived there every day when I wasn’t involved in something for initiation. I never really let on to what was going on with me or how bad it got and Tori never pressed. Just being there helped and I think she knew that. I wouldn’t say I was working at the parlor, because that wasn’t technically allowed, but I was helping out. From designing things, once Tori and Bud found out I could draw, to helping stock or clean. I learned the ropes and was even thinking about taking up the tattoo gun when initiation ended.
I figured I would probably get a good enough rank for that at least.
When I ranked sixth Tori was the one that urged me to try for something better. She knew that one of my passions and eventual goals in Amity had been to be one of their healers. I had hoped to try and bring in more than what the faction normally allowed for treatments but that had been more of a long-term goal for me then. When I left Amity, I just accepted that wasn’t going to be in the cards for me but Tori made me rethink it and go for the position that was open in the clinic.
She believed in and supported me when I needed her and that the most.
“Devi, Devi, Devi.” She sighs out my name while shaking her head.
By this time I’ve already changed into the shirt, taken the pills and drank most of the water before I had to lay down when the spinning threatened me again.
She runs a hand over my hair softly and worry mars her brow. “What have you done?”
I smile faintly as I remember the night and my triumph. “I told Four off!”
Tori’s hand pauses in mid-stroke of my hair and her eyes widen. Then a smile curls her lips and she laughs softly. “Of course you did.”
“Eric caught me when I fell and then Four tried to tell me I shouldn’t go with him but I told him off again.”
“Did you now? Twice in a row. No wonder.” I frown in confusion but she’s just smirking at me. “I’m sure he doesn’t even realize what he's in for.”
I shrug still not understanding but not up to figuring it out. “I  have  to close my eyes now or I can’t promise I won’t make a Pollock painting of your carpet.”
“Eww.” Tori groans and gratefully grants my request.
I hear her shuffling away and the light that was on in the room clicks off, making the dark behind my eyelids even darker. I let out a blissful moan and reach up to put the heels of my palms over my eyes and gently put pressure on them. Hoping the spinning will stop soon.
It does eventually seem to slow down and I can feel that kind of unconsciousness that happens when I’ve overindulged. Some would call it a blackout but that’s not what happens for me this time. As the spinning slows images start to stream by, some I can’t make out at all and others I can make out but they make no sense whatsoever.
Like the feather duster and the extremely short, frilly black and white dress……..
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gossipchii · 4 years
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Characters: Yagami Taichi and Bellucci Menoa
Pairing: ??? Tainoa??? I GUESS???
Words: 700+
Notes: I have nothing to say, just that, I’m sorry.
My mind works in weird ways.
Taichi hadn’t felt this exhausted in a while. There had been an emergency in the Digital World, somehow the gates had closed down, and as the official ambassador between both worlds, it was his job to fix it. Which also meant he hadn’t slept in a week. The problem had been fixed, and even if it wasn’t his bed, Taichi was craving the hotel’s bed, even though he could sleep in pretty much anything, something that hadn’t changed since he was a child.
However, he decided he couldn’t go to bed before grabbing a bite first, at 3am it would probably be dumb of him to think as such an important person he would be able to go anywhere, but he had, and turned around to count them, five bodyguards behind him, and perhaps some more he wasn’t aware of, he would be fine.
He decided to go to a deli cafe, his favorite place to go at 3am while in New York and refused to take a car because he would end up falling asleep in the backseat. He ordered his usual pastrami sandwich and ate as fast as he used to when he was younger. As a public figure, he had to take care of his manners all the time. He deserved a space for himself, even if he wasn’t alone at all. He looked away from his sandwich and almost choked with his food. Were his eyes deceiving him? Or was it really her? Had she been attending his meetings too and he, somehow, had missed her?
He stood up, the bodyguards in the colliding tables following him. Taichi wanted to stop them, but he knew they were just following orders, after all. He made sure; however, one stayed behind to pay everyone’s meal and leave a good tip, he had learned you were considered an asshole in America if you didn’t tip.  He got surprised when his legs responded at the pace he wanted them to, but he really didn’t want to miss her.
“Menoa, wait!” he spoke in Japanese, to see how she reacted. She stood still; her fists clenched. “Menoa Bellucci, is it you?”
He could tell, from her body language, she was hesitating to turn around. “It’s me, Taichi.”
“I know who you are, I see you everywhere, it would be impossible not to recognize your voice.” He couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic, by the lack of emotion in her voice. Finally, she decided to face him, and Taichi was shocked at how little she had changed in ten years since he last saw her.
He remembered when Koushiro shared the news announcing she was getting out of jail, to do house arrest for a few years instead. Now, as Koushiro had also told him, she was working alongside the US government on fulfilling some top-secret project on technology. She was a genius, after all.
“Would it be dumb of me to ask you how you’re doing?”
“Actually, I’m doing great. Jail did wonders on me,” her teeth were shiny in the streetlights, Taichi scratched his neck, something he only did when he was very nervous. If his posture teacher could see him right now, they would be very disappointed.
“You know that wasn’t personal, your kind of…”
“Wanted to become a goddess of my own Neverland? Yeah, sorry about that.” She chuckled, and Taichi tensed. Why was he feeling so nervous when he had spoken to literally every important person in the world?
“But you seriously do look good, I mean, better than you did last time we saw you.”
“Psychiatry can do wonders on you, if you take your therapy seriously, and I have.” She was still wearing her hair in a braid; it really was as if time hadn’t passed at all.
“Are you free tomorrow?”
“I’m no longer in-house arrest if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I would like to catch up, eh,” he whispered, getting closer than the five feet that were separating them. “Have a normal conversation, you know, off the record.”
“So, your babysitters wouldn’t be joining us?”
“Is that a yes?”
“I’ll text you the address to a steak house I really like, and don’t worry about it, I already have your phone number.”
Taichi could feel himself getting flustered. What had that conversation been? He was glad his bodyguards were under confidence oath, otherwise he could be in danger of losing his courage reputation.
Now, he had to worry about how had Menoa gotten his phone number, and perhaps which dress-code he would be obeying the day after.
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stacie-marie-bloom · 4 years
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GLASS HEARTS: CHAPTER SIX Nestor Octeva Fanfiction Walking into the kitchen quietly Happy watched as his friend danced and sang along to whatever song was playing through her speakers as she cooked. It always amazed him how talented Ruby was but never did anything with it. Instead she stayed in her hometown for years working as a nanny even though she had a psychology degree and was extremely artistic. She gave it all up for her family
*Lucky for you, I got all these daddy issues
What can I do?
I'm going crazy when I'm with you
Forget all the therapy that I've been through* 
Ruby sang along with the song blasting through the speakers as she finished preparing breakfast. 
When she turned around to grab a couple plates, Ruby was startled to see Happy standing there. "Gosh, you're such a freaking creep Hap. How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to know you've got 'daddy issues' little girl." Happy chuckled, before going over to Ruby and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her neck lightly. This simple gesture made Ruby lose her train of thought for a moment. Smelling the bacon seconds from burning though, she quickly moved away from the man holding her to grab the frying pan.
"So I talked to Nestor this morning," Ruby trailed off afraid of Happy's reaction. Though it would never show physically, Happy was actually nervous as to what was going to be said next. Especially after his conversation with the mercenary early that morning.
"They already found the kid? Damn, maybe they are better than us." Happy replied sarcastically, collecting flatware for the two to use for breakfast. Slightly frustrated by the jab her friend made, Ruby smacked his arm before responding.
"There's no need to be an ass Hap. Sadly, no they haven't found him yet but Nestor asked if I was still in town, then asked to meet up. So I was actually wondering if before you left to take care of business, I could get a ride to a coffee shop in town?" 
Rolling the toothpick from one side to the other taking his time before responding Happy finally spoke, "Fine but since I don't know how long I will be. So I'll need braids to bring you back here. You're supposed to be leaving to keep you safe that was his wish. If he thinks there is a threat out there that could hurt you then why is he trying to meet with you?" 
"Would you prefer he come here instead?" Ruby already knew the answer but asked to push that envelope. Happy wasn't the jealous type so for him to respond like he did shocked her.
Narrowing his eyes at her Happy responded, "No, I just don't understand what is so important that he couldn't have just asked over the phone or text?" 
Shrugging at her friend's question the small redhead responded, "Maybe he is worried whoever took Cristobal has tapped into their phones? I mean it is a lot simpler to bug these new smartphones compared to the dinosaurs we had when everyone was still around. Nestor won't let anything happen to me, okay?" 
    "Yeah, okay Little Girl. Can we eat now? We've still got to get ready for the day." Happy commented, aggravated by the conversation and ready to move on.
Unsettled by her friend's reaction, the redhead nodded before serving their breakfast.
    "Hap, I didn't mean to upset you. Once you're done with whatever it is you've got to do today I'll go back to Charming with you. I need you to trust Nestor though, he wants to keep me safe just as much as you. Okay?"
"You actually expect me to trust someone I don't know?" Happy quickly bit back. "You're right, silly me. I'm not hungry anymore so I'm going to get changed. If you could clean up when you're done that would be appreciated." Ruby quickly stood walking to the room, wiping the tears from her eyes as she went to change for the day.
   
Nestor pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop on Main Street he and Ruby had agreed upon. Though he never took the time before now to appreciate the building before him, Nestor observed every detail in the rugged old house and it's fading green paint. As the mercenary looked over the building, his mind wandered to how the up and coming conversation with the bubbly redhead would go. Would she be pissed he looked into her? Will she be honest? All these questions were interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle parking a few spaces over. Looking away from the building to where the sound was coming from, Nestor watched as Ruby slid off the bike of the strange man. Watched as before she could walk away the man wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into a kiss. Quickly Nestor looked back at the building before him, furious at how his friend seemed to be treated by the rough biker.
Pulling away from the kiss Ruby looked back at Nestor then at the man in front of her, "Happy, was that necessary?" 
"I have no clue what you're talking about Little Girl. Just remember to let me know when you leave here and you're back at the house. As soon as I'm done we're headed home." Happy smirked knowingly.
Rolling her eyes, Ruby replies, "I'll keep you in the loop okay?" Before she could hear her long time friend's response she walked over to Nestor who was waiting awkwardly and trying to hide his anger.
"Ruby, thank you for meeting me. I realized while waiting, I had never been here before. Do you come here often?" Nestor inquired as he pulled the door of the establishment open.
Giggling, Ruby whispered "Did you really just ask 'Do you come here often?' Well, to answer your question, yes I do come here often. It happens to be my go-to spot when I acquire free time." The two ascended up the staircase, the busyness of the coffee shop surrounded them. As the atmosphere buzzed, the air between Nestor and Ruby though was tense. 
Once seated with coffees in hand, Nestor cleared his throat prepared to open Pandora's box. "So, with all that has been happening recently Miguel ordered a thorough background check on everyone." He paused.
Lies.
"Some interesting information was brought to our attention from your background check." Nestor continued.
Ruby's heart rate picked up pace, she was sure the whole coffeehouse could hear it. She never meant for old life to be a secret, Ruby just needed to escape it and the best way was to never talk about it 
"Uhm...I." Ruby couldn't find the right words, as though the words were trapped, unable to escape. 
"By that reaction you already know what I am referring to? I just want to know how deep that connection still runs. Why did you hide that information from us?" Nestor asked.
"I wanted to forget, I needed to forget. Growing up in a toxic environment such as that.." Ruby took a deep breath before continuing. "My intent wasn't to hide my past from y'all. Honestly I assumed an intense background check had been done when I was first hired." The young red-head took a sip of her coffee and looked everywhere but at the man before her.
"Being born into that life, it's all I've ever known."
*Better late than never?*
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Dragon Dancer Chapter 13: Matriarch
I was moving. Voices came from on either side of me, talking, reading out my blood pressure. The feel of the rumble under me was enough to clue me in that I was being rolled, sitting up in a wheelchair. I lifted my head and tried to rub my face, but my arms were fastened to the armrests. My head was heavy. My vision swam.
We entered an elevator.
A woman in a tight fitting short white skirt and heels pulled her tag off her jacket and scanned it against a reader. The doors closed and we started rising, quickly and silently. 
When the doors opened again, the wall on my left was completely glass, overlooking the city of Chicago at night. A ferris wheel glowed from the park in the distance. I saw the blinking lights of planes navigating to the airport. The headlights of cars were like Christmas lights, many stories below.
Previous Chapter
Go back to the beginning
I felt exhausted and disoriented. I tried to speak but my voice came out a whisper. “Who… who are you…?”
No one answered me.
Ahead, a double mahogany door was guarded by two men wearing guns at their hips. One knocked twice. The other opened it and I was wheeled inside, off the hardwood and onto a patterned carpet. A fireplace cast flickering red light into the room as the only illumination. The dark city skyline provided a glittering backdrop to the room. The two women turned and left. The door shut.
One man to my left. I recognized him as the bald guy from the warehouse. He sat, one leg over the other, leaning back in a leather chair. A large golden ring glinted on his finger. He didn’t look at me, staring idly in the distance. 
A small white dog rose from the warmth of the fireside, stretched, its tongue curling back into a yawn, and trotted over to me, sniffing my feet in the wheelchair. It rose up on its hindlegs, leaning its front paws on my knees, pleading to be pet.
A woman behind a heavy wood desk stared at several monitors. Her silvery hair is tied back into a neat braid running down her fine embroidered blue housecoat. Her face was illuminated in blue light, her dark eyes flicking as she read, her hands moving the mouse. 
She swiveled her chair to face me, leaning on her elbows and clasping her hands in front of her. Her eyes crinkled in a smile that deepens the lines on her face. “Why do you want to save Isaac?”
The question wasn’t what I was expecting. She waited patiently while I put the words together in a mind still addled by medication. “Because… what’s going to happen is partly my fault. If I never took what he gave me, none of this would have happened... “
She tilted her head, her eyebrows raising.
Then she leaned back, looking at the screen. Her smile was gone. She spoke quietly, but her voice carried in the paneled room, audible over the loud ticking of a grandfather clock. “I’m going to try to keep things simple for you. I believe your story, because of what you know. What you told us about your experience with Isaac.” She picked up a pen and twirled it between her fingers. “The area he showed you is a secret. The serum he gave you is a secret.”
“What day is it?” I objected. “Maybe he hasn’t shown me yet. He won’t show me until the day after I get to Cassell… There might still be time!”
Chafing at my words, a soft impatient sigh escaped the man next to me. He gazed at the fireplace, frowning.
The woman continued. “How much of the past can be changed is something that will always be up to debate. Because if the change occurs, how could we ever know?” She gave a shrug of her shoulders. “The only people who try to change the past are the ones who feel guilty… feel responsible somehow.” She turned back to me. “I can tell you, honestly, you’re not responsible.”
Her words brought tears spilling out of my eyes down to the white dress I was wearing. “But… I can’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t want to do it. I don’t want to do it.”
She nodded to the man who stood up and unstrapped my arms from the chair so I could catch my tears in my sleeve.  She continued to speak, looking at a framed picture on her desk.
“No, in fact, I should be the one to apologize. He’s my grandson. It was my son who convinced me to marry the girl he loved, despite my better judgement. That girl that...  convinced me that Isaac’s genetic deviancy wouldn’t be an issue. Against my better judgement. And…” She shook her head, speaking slowly, softly. “Their pleas about chances and potential… carried me all the way to this moment.”
The bald man helped me stand up and moved me to the chair where he’d been sitting. He then got a cup of water from a dispenser. The little white dog followed him around, wagging its tail.
“And I invested in him, my first grandbaby. His gene therapy, his schooling. His career within the company.” She put the picture down. “I sent him to Cassell. This was all a mistake and, worst of all, I knew it. Deep down, I always did.”
The man returned with a cup of water and a few napkins to wipe my face. I drank it down quickly, the cool water soothing the cottony feeling in my mouth.
“But sometimes we do things we know are wrong. Convincing ourselves that...maybe generations of progress in the field of alchemy and genetic engineering may be able to counteract what our nature has etched into law. That those with unstable bloodlines inevitably will turn into servitors and perish.” 
She lowered her eyes. “Sitting here now. After receiving your message. I am astonished that I could have made that mistake.”
“I promise you…” She said, watching me wipe my eyes and regain my composure. “I will not make the same mistake again. And I will do everything I can, to make it up to you. You shouldn’t have been the one to kill him. My family is my responsibility.”
I crumpled the tissue in my hands. “You’re not going to save him?”
“Sweetheart… I’ve been trying to save him for eighteen years. I should have ended his life the day he was born… Maybe even before that.”
“But… he’s your grandson…” My shoulders fell, not quite understanding what I’m hearing.
The woman called her dog over with a soft whistle. It leaped into her lap, licking at her fingers as she tried to pet it. “You see this little one here? She’s a Maltese. Now…” She chuckled as her dog refused to settle, panting and wagging her tail and trying to lick her face. “... her breeder has worked very hard to make sure she has good skin, a clean white coat, no defects. But … what about the ones that have defects? What then? Did she breed those too? Of course not… that is not his goal and that would not be kind to the dogs.”
She picked up the dog and it licked her cheek before she set it down.
"People aren't dogs!"
“My daughter-in-law told me the same thing. It’s what a human would say.” She gave me a pointed look. “We’re not human.”
“We’re something else. Something new. And if we’re going to be fit enough to survive in the future, we have to think more biologically than humans do. That’s what our ancestors understood and what too many of us have forgotten. My daughter-in-law… And Principal Anjou.” Her eyes fell and she sighed.
“The kind thing… for Isaac, for his children… and for all of the Hybrids is to stop artificially ensuring that genetic weakness spreads. That weakness that now causes me, the Matriarch of the Comemnus family, to be in debt to a nameless orphan.” She snorted, chagrined.
I was stunned. “In debt?”
Her eyebrows went up again. “Yes… Thank you.”
“....no… No, no… not thank you! You can’t thank me for that!” 
“Isaac would have just brought you down, ruined your sterling genetic heritage.”
At my confused silence, she sighed and stood up walking up to me. “It hurts me. That a purebred like you is so naive and uneducated. So, I’ll make you a deal. Instead of going back to Cassell and their regrettably low standards of admission, you’ll learn the truth here from me.” 
She leaned close to where I was sitting. “I’m not going to hide the ugly truth from you, the same way you didn’t hide the truth from me. And if by the end of your studies, you still think I’m wrong for my decision, you’re free to go. But I don’t think you will.”
“You are wrong.” I glared into her eyes. “I know the truth. People who are unstable turn into servitors if they use their powers. I know that. But I was given the ability to heal their instability. I can save Isaac.”
“Hm?” Her gaze shifted from confusion, to shock. “Can you say that one more time?”
“I … I can cure people with unstable bloodlines. I can fix it.”
The woman glared at me. "You will need to prove your statement. No one has been able to do that."
 "Yes, I know…" I said willing her to believe me.  "But I was unstable. And now I'm not."
She straightened. “You have a lot to learn. I’m going to educate you.”  When she spoke again, they weren’t the words in our common language, but the words of a dragon. Her eyes flashed yellow.
“Speaking Spirit - Sight.”
A bright rune blazed over the windows and the sparkling panoramic view of Chicago was obscured in shadowy gloom before both dissipated.  “If you try to leave, I’ll know it. I can’t have you skipping school before classes are done.”
She put the glass down onto the desk. “Take her to the Phoenix Suite. Make sure she’s well rested and fed. I’m going to make a few phone calls. Tell the family the good news.”
The bald man helped me stand and led me to the wheelchair. The woman ignored my furious glare, as she reached over to put the phone on speaker. "Get my son on the line."
I was wheeled back out of the room to the elevator, burning with rage and disbelief. The bald man pressed a button. The doors closed. “Did you know him? Isaac.” I asked.
He didn’t reply. In the reflection of the shiny metal doors, he looked away.
“Don’t … don’t ignore me! You should do something if you care for him at all!”
The elevator stopped. I leaped up and pressed the close elevator button before the doors could open. As burly and frightening as he appeared, he didn’t respond with force, pressing the open door button again. “What the boss says goes.” He said in a gruff baritone, glaring at me out of his peripheral vision. 
“You’re terrible. You’re bad people!” I grumbled bitterly, my lip shaking. 
“If you can walk…” He held his elbow out to me.
I backed away from him.
“Don’t try to escape. We know where you live. It would be terrible if something happened to your family.” He said, unmoved. “Come on.”
I hung my head and accepted his arm.
As if the dorms at Cassell weren’t opulent enough, this room was trimmed in gold accents, containing yet another fireplace and embroidered tapestries depicting humans battling dragons. In the corner was a large imposing grandfather clock with a heavy golden pendulum. 
“There’s nothing she wouldn’t sacrifice for her family’s future. You’ll understand.” He said. “I’ll come get you for breakfast in the morning.”
He pointed over to the bookshelf. “Read those. They’ll help you see things her way.”
He watched me cross my arms over my chest. 
“Hybrid breeding used to be a lot worse than what she’s doing. A lot worse.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his steely eyes looking away. He turned to leave.
I let him go and he walked away, shutting the door behind him.
That old woman would know the moment I left, but it wouldn’t matter. I was teleporting back to Cassell. I would go there to warn my friends. Then I could teleport to my family’s house. It was the only way.   
I visualized the basketball court, the lights from the baseball diamond. I took a step forward. But instead of that strange cold of teleportation, something seized my throat, wrapping like a belt. I was still in the room, suspended from the ceiling. Red glowing eyes blinked down at me from a black haze that rolled above me like smoke. It dropped me.
I land hard, crying out in fear. I scrambled away from the monster. It didn’t follow but watched, formless, stretching, lowering from the ceiling to regard me, it’s faceless eyes blinking.
The sound of me hitting the floor must have alerted someone because the bald guy was back and lifting me back to my feet. “You really are stubborn.”
“What is that?” The haze moved across the ceiling, toward the window.
“It’s a servitor. It sensed you using your abilities and stopped you.”
I paused. “Oh. It’s… it was human.” It seeped through the window, spreading its smoky form against the glass.
“Hybrid.” He corrected me. “At some point, yes, it was.”
“If I was your daughter, and if you knew that I was kidnapped and held against my will, what would you say?”
“Eat, sleep, read. You’ll be a lot less upset if you learn.”  He seemed to be about to leave again.
“Wait!” I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “Just tell me.” I watched him sigh. Pain flashed across his features. “You do care about Isaac but you’re still not going to help. Why not? Just tell me!”
“You think we're evil people. Today, we have genetic testing, advanced genetic matching systems, DNA databases, interactive predictive family trees that can project genetic deviations over generations. Back in the day? They had nothing but superstition, anecdotes, and ink and parchment.”
He looked at me, sadness in his eyes. “It didn’t matter how rich your family was or how much influence you had. If you were born with the wrong genes? You were dead. And if someone had the right genes? They were bred. Forcibly.”
“You want to talk about evil? Do you want to know who the bad people really are?” He pointed to the bookshelf. “You read those books. And then you come back and talk to me about evil.”
I chewed my lip as he lowered his voice. “You may have these ideals of helping Isaac. One person. But you’re capable of way more than that. You’re more important than he is. We’re not going to endanger you by trying to change what happened to him. Do you understand now?”
When I nodded, he stood up, and left the room once again, slamming the door behind him, leaving me shaking and alone.
Ielia appeared, sitting next to me. She put her hand over mine. Even though I couldn’t feel her touch any more, I remembered what it felt like. “What am I going to do now? Go back to Cassell? And then what? Something might happen to my family? And if I stay here...”
Ielia shrugged and shook her head.
“Hey… are they right? About letting Isaac die.  Do you have this problem in your world?”
She nodded once.
“What do you do?” I whispered.
She folded her hands and hung her head.
“You kill them too?”
She shook her head.
“Right. In your world, you have our father to help you.”
She pointed to the bookcase so I stood up and made my way over. The tomes were elaborately bound in leather and embossed. I picked up the one she pointed to. It was called “History of the Blood.”
I opened it up, looking through the table of contents. “Early Hybrid civilization…” I read.
I flipped through the pages to that chapter.
In the early days, women volunteered or were forced to be mothers to hybrid children. Through alchemy, their unborn children received dragonblood. These were human women, so the pregnancies ruined their bodies, drastically shortening or ending their lives.
The children were raised by wet nurses who watched them carefully. Those who had affinity with dragons but maintained their humanity were set aside to further the bloodlines. Those who were determined to be unstable and likely to be servitors were thrown in cages and stabbed to death with spears.
Thus, at the cost of countless lives, the bloodlines began to stabilize over time.
I stared at the pages, my eyes running over them again and again. The images of children and infants being brutally murdered in cages etched itself in my mind.
I closed the book, trying not to think about it any more. But the words of Isaac's grandmother echoed. She’d been trying to save him for years but in the end, it was the same.
He was dead. And I had killed him with a spear. 
The next morning, I woke up groggy, surrounded by scattered books and used kleenex, under surveillance by the creepy pair of roving eyes of the servitor in the window. When I fell asleep, the nightmares of the war, conflict, and inhumanity I had read about in the books assaulted me. I couldn’t find a way to fit together the paradise of love and affection I’d grown up in as a child with the reality I found myself in now. Outside the borders of my memories was a wasteland of cruelty.
Royal families, mafiosos, oligarchs and aristocrats all hybrids and all jockeying for positions against each other for power and control and with a constant eye on the possibility of a third coming of dragons. They owned vast swaths of property, controlled the flow of wealth and resources, and some ran entire countries, all thanks to the gifts of their dragon heritage.
The way Isaac was so pushy and overbearing was completely in step with how he was used to acting. It was exactly as his grandmother was acting, and even the people at Cassell, and in Japan. Constant fighting, strategy, and intrigue. They did whatever they reasoned was necessary to maintain their power. 
Now here I was, a prize in their eyes, someone with royal pure dragon blood. Caesar hadn’t been teasing me when he told me I was a secret princess, but this was no fairy tale.
Just as with Cassell, I was denied access to the outside. I was confined to the floor of this highrise building in the middle of Chicago. My meals were brought to me, my clothes were handed to me. I was constantly having my blood tested, my pressure checked, my temperature taken. 
It was only because a nurse let it slip that tomorrow was New Years Eve, that I figured out what day it was.
I was getting ready for breakfast twisting my unruly locks into a high bun.  I went over the timeline in my mind. Today my past self would meet Caesar, Nono, and Isaac for the first time. Tonight, my past self would meet Johann.
By tomorrow night, Isaac would be dead.
At the usual time, I was met by the bald man to escort me. His name was Anthony and he became my constant companion. He escorted me everywhere I went. Today, there were more people around, walking down the hall, on the phone, carrying boxes. 
He escorted me to a room that was sealed by key code. It was a storage area full of filing cabinets and boxes shoved aside to make space for people in lab coats poring over tablet computers. Together they looked at me as I walked in.
The matriarch was there, her arms crossed over her chest. “I hope you slept well. It’s time to put your claims to the test. To see if your Speaking Spirit can really restore corrupt genetics.”
A dropcloth was pulled down where it had been draped over a large metal cage. Inside the cage was something resembling a young boy.
He looked to be about ten or eleven.  The twisting of his body into this half human half dragon creature shot a painful sympathetic ache through my bones. I recognized the scaled over skin, the eyes that were golden and near reptilian. This boy wasn’t a complete servitor but he was almost there. He sat in the corner, in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, trembling, teeth chattering. 
“He has hours to live. If you can cure him, you can cure anyone.” The grandmother said.
I hadn’t used any abilities since I’d killed Isaac. I wasn’t sure how to do it but just being in the presence of this person was painful in a way that I had not felt before. It was like hearing the screech of feedback from a loudspeaker. I wanted his pain to stop and I wanted it to stop immediately.
The words that sprang to mind were given to me by my father. “Speaking Spirit - Release!”
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? What grounding items/toys/objects will be good to hold for flashbacks, anxiety attacks etc? I need something small enough to fit in my bag but big enough to actually ground me. I’m struggling so much rn
Hello,
Here are some examples:
Tangles can work they come in multiple sizes and can have multiple textures and can be manipulated even in your pocket. They can help with grounding by just being a different sensation witch engages the tactile senses. Bouns if you have two, or break one (most are made to be able to be separated) and place it in both pockets, this makes it bilateral stimulation. Focous is the best effect of this, so it can redirect more from anxiety or thought spirals, though the bilateral demotion will make grounding stronger. But using this to focous on the task at hand always helps the brain from going to extremes. 
Fidgit Spinner, fidget cubes, twirling loops, are similar to tangles in function except most can’t be split into multiple pieces. It also can engage in more kinds of hand motions. Some can be bought at department stores and the like while some nicer ones are better found at more specific stores/online.
Rings that have a bit to spin around. This is better for fiddling better to prevent then to come down in my opinion, though if it has specific meaning to you grounding and place you here in now from the ability for it to trigger fond emotions. Other jewellery that has texture can be nice as it can stay on and might have some value emotionally.  Picking one with a favourite texture is a good idea. 
Coiled keychains. The ones made of stretchy coiled plastic. These can be pulled on, and very easy to carry around, can be a double usage as well! Good if you have a habit of yanking on yourself as a maladaptive grounding technique. 
Pocket size jars of thinking putty or silly putty are good for holding roughly and picking at. This is good if you have a tendency to squeeze hands till it hurts or pick at your skin to try and self ground. This engages the movement of muscles more than others. 
Cats cradle (meaning a large loop of thick yarn or braided string)  this can be a game that involves hands. This engages both hands which allow bilateral stimulation good for grounding. The movement is more than others on this list which engages wider muscles. It also takes more brainpower if you do make any shapes, which can be great for anxiety and spiralling thoughts as it demands your brain.
Stress balls/Koosh balls/Massage balls. Ones with spikes or heavier ones are best. Spiky ones add more changes in the sensory input along with the general ability to move it around in your hands, passing it back and forth and such. Weighted ones are good because I find weight objects are calming and great for grounding and bringing into the here and now. 
Sequences squares. If you like the way sequence feel then you can have a small piece of fabric with sequences on them. It can also be really visually stimulating which can be good to bring you into the moment with multiple parts engaged at one time. If you like any other kinds of fabric feels like felt, silky textures or fluffy fabric can all be carried in the same matter as small squares. 
Calming rocks/crystals. These can be rough or smooth and have a weight that can help be grounded. Again this can be manipulated in a bag or pocket making them not super visible. The weight just in pants or breast pockets some people like, and allow someone to just place the hand and it can feel good.  Holding these in hands again has that tactile engagement. This can be free if you find one outside you like (make sure to clean it up) or more expensive if you want a special kind of crystal. If it’s shiny you can also move it to catch the light and engage visual stimuli.
Sensory brushes. These are small brushes, like a potato brush, that you could carry in a small bag. I love these, they are good for grounding and sensory integrating. It provides pressure which I really enjoy, is also find it’s one of the better sensations for chronic overstimulation. 
You can put velcro onto something you can rub your hands along. It can be rough or soft depending on the person. It can be as big or small as you want and can be added to something you already carry around, making it easy to access discreetly. Again the tactile engagement helps ground and focous you. Also can be pretty cheap, and bought most places. 
Beenie babies or similar stuffed animals that have some weight and can be really nice to have. This might be something you already have which is always nice.  Super calming if you have age regression issues, might not bring you out of it, but is good to prevent an age regressed you from freaking out. I personally carry one with me for my child alters. 
Small bottles of scented lotion can be good to engage olfactory senses, putting on the lotion even just a dab engages the tactile sense if the scent is emotional evocative it can help bring positive emotions froward. Scents are extremely strong inputs good for bringing to the moment. I wouldn’t choose a scent that's super specific to a time in your mind as it can affect the ability to stay in the moment if already dissociated. Scented hand sanitizer can work too. 
Chewy necklaces can be worn, sucking and chewing are pretty primal feelings and are easy to carry. Sucking on things actually engages a calming sensation on its own. This is more conspicuous to use but not to carry, so having a moment to do this might be necessary. But this break in normal behaviour might be good four groundings itself. This self-soothing behaviour is great to come down from extreme emotions. 
Therapy Shoppe is one of my favourite places to buy these. Teachers stores sometimes have these kinds of things as well. 
Hope this helps,
-Admin 1
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