#bruh he’s just so nice and funny and he just he he he

[mlmbug]

anyone else ever so filled with fondness and affection for someone that you can’t even really put things into words

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

With zero context this is hilarious

Hell, even with context this is pretty freaking funny.

[burinazar]

It's funny stepping back into fandom spaces where most people are within my general age range or older after making so many younger friends in MiAbyss fandom* so when i go back to my old stomping grounds of LOGH or T&B or Star Trek or Vorkosiverse or the BJD hobby or just the whole entire SFF/genre fiction reader+writer sphere and it's like oh ok yeah. i'm not really thaaaaaaattttt humongously old i guess. because to be honest with you sometimes in other contexts i feel like the club penguin 18+ elderly penguin

*not to erase those of you in there who are older! it's just that something with MiA that was a brand new experience for me over the last year is that I sure did accumulate some treasured fandom friends a decade-ish younger than me and i feel somewhat protective of them slash occasionally ashamed of not being a more impressive role model or something but okay look you guys don't want a mentor you want a draw-er of shitposts and a writer-er of decentish fanfics and That I Can Do

[midnightwriter21]

jjk hcs: toji & inumaki as boyfriends

characters: toji fushiguro & toge inumaki

warnings: slight toji slander hehe, nothing else i think?

an: read gojo & nanami version HERE read yuji, yuta, and megumi version HERE

TOJI FUSHIGURO

lord he is too fine

i’m so sorry for the toji simps myself included

cause you have the most nonchalant boyfriend to ever exist

he’s one of the “babe relaaaaxxxx. it’s not even a big deal.” boyfriends

and that’s cause for toji…. nothing is ever a big deal

unlessssss *wink wink*

unless you happen to be in danger

bc then toji is doing whatever it takes to make you safe

and i do mean whatever it takes

don’t expect fancy dates that take a lot of effort

toji’s version of a “fancy” date is taking you to the food court at the mall

and by taking you i mean he walks with you there and then makes you pay for the food

broke ass

he doesn’t really care about pda

toji does what toji wants

if he wants to pull you into his lap in the middle of a meeting with a client?

then he’s pulling you into his lap tf

and you’re gonna sit there until the meeting is over

if he wants to stick his tongue down your throat in the middle of a park?

he’s finding y’all a nice comfy bench to sit on and he’s pulling you in to meet his lips

toji WILL go radio silent out of nowhere

sometimes you’ll go days

maybe even weeks

without hearing from him

he always turns back up though

he’s like the stray dog that you start leaving food out for that disappears and reappears at will

he’s got nicknames for dayyysssss

but you never know what context he’s using them in

for example:

princess (derogatory)

brat (affectionate)

yeah anyways 10/10 would let him treat me like shit

TOGE INUMAKI

*sigh* he’s so baby girl sugarplum gumdrop angel face pookie bear handsome boy

so uh let’s address the obvious here…

mans can’t physically converse with you

BUT

inumaki is 100% the best of the jjk boys when it comes to communication!!

whether y’all talk using sign language, texting, a dry erase board, etc.

he is great when it comes to discussing feelings/ problems/ literally anything else

just uh… not verbally

now jjk usually portrays gojo and yuji as comedic relief

but inumaki? is a CLOWNNNNN

swear

i just know he’s funny asf

his facial expressions have to be top tier

and just imagine everybody having a lil sorcerer meeting. everybody is super serious and then you just hear “tuna mayo” come from the corner

bruh i would not be able to contain myself i would laugh til i cried

inumaki is stage 5 clinger!!!

bro is so open with the pda

he uses pda as an excuse to show you off brag

he spots some guys eyeing you from across the street?

he’s slipping his hand in your back pocket, giving you a lil squeeze and shooting them a smug smirk

and he is SMOOTHHHHH

bro can’t even speak to you but everything he does is so smooth

ong his rizz is top tier

as for nicknames…

since he can’t say normal words I like to think he’d find the name of a food that he can call you as a replacement lol

ex. when u blush he calls you out on it by poking your cheek and calling you “tomato”

boyyyy if you don’t find a cuter food name to call me

yeah i love him

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity

warnings ; language

y/s/n = your ship name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone

TommyInnit donated $10!

"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"

only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine

if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you

"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"

after a while he gets invested in the shipping

"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"

"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"

"I found one and it actually looks good!"

reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)

you and Tommy make your own fanfic too

he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀

literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you

such a hopeless romantic

RANBOO

always doing you favors

never saying no to you

"yes sir/maam!"

always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck

it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg

chat always asking where he is during one of said streams

editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them

the chemistry???

you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out

editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo

they do too 😭😭

giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you

he's literally head over heels bruh

gives u free merch and stuff

FREDDIE BADLINU

he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you

claims it's for the bit

lets you dye his hair

ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO

he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off

always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping

always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear

constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys

it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything

the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard

especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo

same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc

editors and fanfic writers have field days with those

just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????

even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing

supports the fanfics

he honestly reads them

if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies

QUACKITY

"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop

qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date

basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp

qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best

cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding

qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy

youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"

and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything

daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"

cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two

fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.

[skylarsblue]

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …

[spideysbruh]

Santa

happy holidays LOL

liked by y/n, tomholland and 4,836,287 others

tchalamet Paris with my love

view all 326,727 comments

y/n in my French era 🤭🥖

liked by tchalamet

timmytimstan yall are so cute imma kms

laurieslaurence OMGGG if I run into yall it will be the best day of my life

liked by tchalamet, melissabarrera, and 2,827,782 others

y/n what is love besides two souls trying to heal each other

view all 51,286 comments

tstan YALL ARE TOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

ynssocks she's so in love omg.

tchalamet my pretty girl.

y/n oui oui

timmyspaul I LOVEEE THAT SONGG

ynandtimstan I love how different their music taste is 💀 he probably thinks she's weird

yn he does. he calls me emo 😔 🤧

tchalamet BRUH

y/n just posted a story!

caption- don't be fooled he's actually very nice

@yn just tweeted- merry christmas!!! i'm so grateful for everything this year has bought me, good and bad, i've learned and grown so much 💕

@realchalamet liked and replied- you've made me such a better person this year I love you.

liked by y/n, zendaya and 3,298,484 more

tchalamet CHRISTMASSSSSS SANTA SANTA SANTAAAAA I LOVE YOU @y/n MY LOVE

view all 89,298 comments

zendaya yall are too funny

yntimmy they're so cute 🥺🥺😭😭😭

rodrigoyn the matching pj's 🥺🫶

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 1,726,161

y/n santa doesn't know you like i do

view all 76,726 comments

tchalamet MERRY CHRISTMAS

atreidespaul bros excited 💀

hellatightkyle all those gah damn marshmallows

guilbertyn I love my parents

tchalamet I LOVE YOU

*

[landitolover]

𝒅𝒖𝒍𝒄𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 in which oscar is forced to go on a dating app by lando, and he finds some..interesting people! ౨ৎ oscar x reader

WELCOME TO DULCE HOTLINE

the app where you are destined to find the one!

create an account >

login <

number: xxx-xxx-xxx

name: oscar piastri

birthday: april 6th, 2001 (22)

nationally: australian

idea type: funny, nice, and pretty

about you: i like cars?

add a profile! >

please wait while we find your matches !

loading . .

thank you for being patient,

we have found 4 matches!

madison rife has requested to message you!

accept > decline

birthday: november 10th, 2002 (21)

nationally: british

ideal type: dorks, funny, and cute

bio: follow the gram!

madison rife

hey! i think you’re really cute :)

oscar

thanks

madison rife

thanks? that’s all you have to say?

i just complimented you and all you have to say is

‘thanks’ ??? you’re not even gonna say it back??

😐😐

oscar

sorry mate?

this person has blocked you!

try again?

yes > no

hailey danes has requested to message you!

accept > decline

birthday: july 25th, 2001 (22)

nationally: australian

ideal type: charles leclerc

bio: everyones a ferrari fan

hailey danes

oscar fucking piastri???

on dulce hotline??? 😭

thats crazy

oscar

oscar who? the grouch?

hailey danes

😭😭

what brings u here tho

oscar

lando forced me

you would NOT

catch me on this

app if i wasnt forced

hailey danes

lmfao that’s funny

😭

oscar

also i’m gonna block you

for my safety

hailey danes

that’s fine!

tell charles to look at my dms fr

Message ❤️ by oscar piastri

you have blocked this user!

report them? yes < no

try again?

yes > no

lando norris has requested to message you!

accept > decline

birthday: november 13th, 1999 (24)

nationally: british

ideal type: smart and pretty

bio: f1 driver for mclaren

lando norris

LMFAO OSCAR

NO WAY I MATCHED WITH YOU 💀

*clears voice*

sup baby 😮‍💨

oscar

is that how you talk

to girls on this app? 😭

cause boy, do i feel bad

lando norris

my number one opposition bruh

and NO?? I don’t talk to girls like that

oscar

you look like a frat boy

in your profile 💀

lando norris

let’s talk about YOUR profile

are you trying to scare girls away?

you look…. 🌝

oscar

honestly at this point, yes

you’re the one who forced me to get this app

I don’t need a girlfriend

lando norris

that’s what bitches who need

a girlfriend say..

anyways bye oscah!!

good luck on your hunt for a girlfriend

oscar

thanks mate…

try again?

yes > no

y/n l/n has requested to message you!

accept > decline

age: 22

nationally: ??

ideal type: nice and funny

bio: delusional taylor swift lover

y/n l/n

heyooo

you seem pretty normal looking!

oscar

thank you, i think?

you as well

y/n l/n

soo what brings a cute

guy on this app?

oscar

oh, well 😭

my friend kinda forced me to get it

y/n l/n

funny story because

me too?? 💀

honestly, dating apps

aren’t my thing, u feel me?

oscar

oh yeah, I totally agree

some of the people are odd

y/n l/n

NO LITERALLY

it’s so scary there r barely

any normal people on this damn app

oscar

exactly lmfao

y/n l/n

you’re normal though 🙏🏼

just don’t end up being a murder x

oscar

yeah, so about that

apparently someone thought

i murdered my girlfriend

which i don’t even have

y/n l/n

sorry oscar I don’t think

this is gonna work out!

i can’t date a guy who shot

his not real gf ://

oscar

oh yeah thats understandable

what a shame though

ause you’re quite pretty

y/n l/n

stop 🤭

thank you

you’re pretty too (can i call a man pretty????)

even if you look a little mean in your profile

oscar

i was scaring other girls away

y/n l/n

wowzers

anyways it’s time for me to

get my beauty sleep 😴

oscar

goodnight, it was refreshing talking

to someone normal

y/n l/n

haha it was nice talking to u as well!!

okay, goodnight mr. shoot a gf that doesn’t even exist ⭐️

also my insta is yourusername

if u wanna follow :p

Message ❤️ by oscar piastri

oscah 🦅

lando

lando

lando

lando

norris

norris

hello

stop hoeing around

????????

landoh 🥸

jesus

ok clingy

what’s up ?

oscah 🦅

landoh 🥸

?????

care for some context

oscah 🦅

i met her on dulce hotline

landoh 🥸

oo she’s a cutie

oscah 🦅

i know, she’s a major cutie

her personality, chef’s kiss

landoh 🥸

little oscah pastry

has a crusshhh

oscah 🦅

I wouldn’t say that

not YET at least.

landoh 🥸

didn’t i tell u it would

be good for u to get that app

🤠

Read 0:30

౨ৎ hello! this is a bit short, but here’s the introduction to my new series ‘dulce hotline’ i hope you’ll like it! thanks 4 reading!

also this is heavily, heavily, inspired by my wife’s (@d6za1) wattpad book ‘chiki hotline’ so all credits to her! and thank you for letting me use the idea of the dating app 🥸!

other mentions, @moneygramhaas @amoosarte @ch3rryknots ౨ৎ

[mochinomnoms]

Bruh if Jade does manage to knock Yuu up with Irish twins after normal ones how done do you think Ace and Deuce will be. "Oh yeah sure we'll watch the kids this weekend for you!"

"I swear to the seven if you come back with any more."

-Yuri

Yuriiii, your brain is so big omgggg

First off, major kudos to Deuce and Ace if they have their lives together enough that Yuu and Jade trust them to babysit, lmao. Those boys are a train wreck, but we love them anyways!

They're happy for Yuu during their first pregnancy, all their friends are, and they're not surprised that they got twins on the first try. As Yuu's closest friends, Ace is a fun uncle and Deuce rather doting, and both become the twins' godparents shortly after their birth. Jade does ask that Ace please stop from making “The Godfather” jokes, they're not funny.

It's three weeks after the twins are born that Ace and Deuce come by to the shared cottage to watch the kiddos, while Jade takes Yuu out to a nice hot spring to relax and recuperate. At least, that was the original plan; but Jade suddenly remembered the little promise they made him before they first got pregnant, and the two have a little more fun at the springs for a few hours before returning home. But the two uncles are never the wiser and head off. So imagine their, and everyone else's surprise, when Yuu and Jade announce two weeks later that they're expecting. Again. Already.

Yuu deals with a few angry phone calls from their pseudo parents, Crewel and the school nurse, yelling at them about using protection. Crewel very specifically compared them both to rabbits, and begged that you don't let Jade touch you again for at least 3 months after this next birth. No one is surprised when you have another set of twins, just mildly concerned. Same as last time, Yuu gives birth to their twins (miraculously) with no major issues. The doctors do have them stay on bedrest for an extra week, just to keep an eye out for any complications. Jade's beaming with happiness, the now 10-month-old twins babbling happily over their new siblings.

Once Yuu and the twins are able to go home, Jade's parents asked for a quick visit with the new babies. Good uncles/godparents they are, Ace and Deuce babysit the older twins again.

As Yuu is leaving the house with Jade, each carrying one of the newborns, Ace is grabbing them by the arm and giving them a stern glare.

“Please, for the love of the Red Queen, do NOT get frisky with him. You do not, I repeat, do NOT need another set of twins for at least another year. I cannot mentally handle babysitting two pairs of babies. The D cannot be that good, man.”

Yuu laughed as Ace whispered that last part to them, waving him off as they promised to not have any more surprises. Jade hears, of course. So is it a surprise when he very much uses his parents as an excuse to take them away and see if they can try for triplets this time.

(For Yuu's sake, and Crewel's mental sanity, let's hope that it doesn't take this time… or do! Maybe Yuu's into that, hehe~)

[octuscle]

the guy with the cap is amaaaaaaaaaaazing! is it possible to transform into him???? I am a broker and I need a hot body to spend some holidays with parties, surfing, chicks and no brain! I give you some nice advice to make money in exchange for an unbelievable adventure

It's basically all a question of money. And since you are using the premium version of Chronivac: Enjoy your vacation!

In the elevator down, your gaze falls into the mirror. Yes, you've gotten a bit plump around the hips… But your expensive suits actually conceal that quite well… At least you radiate power and authority.

Dexter, who's driving you today, asks if you've been doing more sport lately. You look much fresher and fitter than usual when he takes you to the airport. You reply that you haven't actually changed anything. But you are now looking forward to a long weekend in the sun. Dexter thinks he's jealous. And asks if you have any special plans. Plans? Not really. Sun, beach, a good book, that's actually all you want from the weekend.

Fuck, something didn't work with your Netjet card. You have to fly a line. Wait a minute! Netjet? Surely a destination of yours… But a destination a long way off. When you drop off your suitcase, you flirt with the ground staff. The upgrade works as usual, of course. It's not a disadvantage to be an All-American jock. The lady asks if you really only want to check in this one sports bag. Yes, hopefully you won't need more than a few shorts and tank tops. And lots of condoms. Hehehe!

Should you have had your hair cut again? When it's warm, long hair can sometimes be a nuisance. But the way the stewards flirt with you, you seem to have done everything right. You thankfully decline the offer of a champagne. Beer will be drunk this weekend. Lots of beer. And you start now. Party!

Aruba, Oranjestad. At last There's more Testostereon at the baggage carousel than at your gym during rush hour. Shit, you don't even know where to look first. Well… Actually, you just have to wait and see. Most guys are already actively trying to make eye contact with you. You'd be more relaxed if your sports bag was already here. Who knows if there are enough condoms here on the island? Aruba is an island? You don't know. You'll have to pray in case of the condoms. Your bag is still in Boston. Thank you very much!

Shit, you got a few condoms. The tank top is in the hotel room, after all, it's the only piece of clothing you have for the next few days apart from your shorts. Who cares? The question of where to get the next beer is much more important. And whose belly button you can drink it from. Damn, you are so incredibly horny!

You wanted to give me some investment tips! You recommend Anheuser-Busch InBev? Very funny, bruh!

[cxcewg]

your social media aus are amazing!! i was wondering if you could do a private relationship between charles x singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo) but fans find out?

sour

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader - requested type: social media au (fc: olivia rodrigo) author’s note: aw ty! im glad you like my smaus. anyways, your wish is my command 😚 i aged her up a year for this cuz it'd be a bit weird if they started dating right after she turned 17... also her birthday is no longer february first time i used stories (the format def tripped me up) and i don't know how to edit it so i just tossed some pics on and called it a day - let me know if you know anywhere where i can make insta stories :) tumblr fcked up several times so uhm 😔had to rewrite this a couple times... hope this did your request justice! ❤️ warnings: none! masterlist

liked by charles_leclerc, tatemcrae, and 3,832,719 others

yourusername recharging ⚡

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tatemcrae motherrrr

yourusername ❤️

conangray literally screaming

yourusername love youu

ynshq we love yn button —------>

motherism.ts recipe?

yourusername the cookies turned out a bit hard haha but we used the sallys baking addiction one motherism.ts omg you responded! thank you, i will absolutely make them someday :) ariswifey we?

karenelliot Charles, what are you doing here?

elizxbeth LMAO HE LOVES HER MUSIC TOO karenelliot He has good taste. amielliot.1 mom please stop... amielliot.1 it's so creepy when you use grammar this isn't a work email

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yourusername some behind the scenes from the making of SOUR. time of our lives! swipe ➡️for a jumpscare 😂

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tatemcrae stunning omggg

camila_cabello luv uuu

andreaxx the second pic has me in tears 😆

a_esliehiggins fr lmao

id.otsandwich i love her she's so funny

ynhate she is overrate asf their are 0 good songs on her ass album kanye west is way beter

jana.b04 *overrated *there jana.b04 fix your grammar first sweetie 😘 ryanandblake4life oh girlie...

kaufman.sharlene uh is anyone seeing the guy behind her in the second pic? cuz that doesnt look like dan at all

liked by scuderiaferrari, joris_trouche, and 1,395,103 others

charles_leclerc Feels good to be back on the podium! Now to recharge the batteries for a few weeks and enjoy some sun 😘

view all 8,383 comments

joris_trouche LET'S GO ❤️

whyisitalwaysme im so happy omg

malcom.parker charles leclerc is so overrated. girls only like him because he's cute.

chrles.lechair bruh yes he's cute, but that's only a bonus chrles.lechair i like him because he's a nice guy, a great driver, he has a great mentality (just look at baku 2017 or bahrain 2017), he's one of the most talented drivers on the grid (rookie season 2018???). he just needs a good car and good team. liked by yourusername lucasduncan for reallll it needed to be said de1dre.brxan amen chrles.lechair OMG YN LIKED I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS A CHARLES FAN

hherman look at that adorable smile

p1erre.gf1 im so glad ferrari didn't fuck it up for him he does not deserve it

f1l8ley THE KISSY FACE IS BACK AGAIN LETS GOOO

lestappenfliccs who was that girl you were spotted with?

moll.s who??? lestappenfliccs look at enews's tweet moll.s hes cheating on max???? lestappenfliccs and carlos too 😭

liked by billieeillish, francisca.cgomes, and 2,831,481 others

yourusername 21 has never felt sweeter 🌙

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billieeilish gorg

yourusername love uuuu

conangray happy birthday to the most annoying person on the planet!

yourusername love you too 😘

francisca.cgomes lindaaaa aproveite 21 beautiful enjoy 21

yourusername te amooo love you hiltonkam.l kika?

maxineb.ford where you at rn?

yourusername london! doing some traveling in europe right now 😘 maxineb.ford nicee whered you go? yourusername spent some time in belgium maxineb.ford fun! did you go with madison or iris? yourusername sadly not, they're very busy but i spent some time with a friend of mine 🥰

jjmils shes so pretty

ynfan.1 adam fumbled so hard

janisbarton bruh she was too good for that asshole ashlycamerons and then he cheated janisbarton men ☕ ynfan.1 she was so out of his league frr

bettyrice24 the eyes never lie 🥺

lalaur05 girl you tryna make sumthin outta nuthin bettyrice24 smh im just sayin i think our girl has a new boy toy on the scene 😘

liked by madisonhu, irisapatow, and 2,831,481 others

yourusername 🌴love feels extra fun in the sun ❤️

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madisonhu 😘

conangray wish i was there 😭

liked by yourusername

magsmm oh my god the CAPTION?! is yn tryna tell us something?

bettyrice24 guys… i seriously think mother has been snatched up

lalaur05 bruh she posts like 2 pics and you’re like “oh shes got a boyfriend” stop speculating lalaur05 like just chill bettyrice24 no but seriously like these pics shes def not taking it so shes with somebody obviously lalaur05 oh wait you’re right bettyrice24 iris and madison are busy bettyrice24 AND AND like conan said he wished he was there so hes not there

charles_leclerc followed yourusername yourusername followed charles_leclerc

yourusername posted on their story!

viewed by conangray, tatemcrae, and 190,819 users liked by 2,381 users

conangray replied to your story!

conangray girl this isn't your close friends conangray WAKE UP STOP MAKING OUT yourusername huh? yourusername shit

tatemcrae replied to your story!

tatemcrae spill. tatemcrae now. yourusername what????? tatemcrae 👀 tatemcrae OK START TALKIJNG GIRL TELL ME HIS LIFE STORY

870 users reacted to your story view more

683 users reacted with 😮 197 users reacted with 🥲

yourusername deleted their story!

yourusername posted on their story!

viewed by charles_leclerc, madisonhu, and 1,938,296 users liked by 8,294 users

liked by your_username, conangray, and 4,178,444 others

charles_leclerc I think you're more than sweet enough. Two years with you have been the best in my life, Ti amo, je t'aime, I love you 😘 i love you, i love you, i love you

tagged yourusername

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conangray you better take good care of her 🔪

charles_leclerc With my life. ❤️ yourusername conan- yourusername charles 🥺 yourusername come here so i can give you a kiss

madisonhu the caption im crying 😭

pierregasly damn 2 years and you're still scarring me every time

yourusername learn to knock

landonorris i went through hell keeping this a secret

yourusername we really should not have told you landonorris hey i'm great at keeping secrets yourusername im sure

apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

i_fulton1 I KNEW IT WAS HIM ON HER STORY

velmab99 THE BANDANA

bettyrice24 AHAHA WAHT DID I SAY

lalaur05 🙄 bettyrice24 YOU'RE BUYING

irene.larson01 bruhh charles mfing "i am stupid" leclerc managed to pull HER?

oliviakhan there is still hope for me nothoughtsheadempty charles lecrizz who?

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yourusername i thought i was purple until i met you. always cheering for the red team, always yours ❤️

tagged charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

landonorris also does this mean we can get front row seats to your next concert?

lovingleclerc lando 💀 landonorris what? i want to go 🙄

tatemcrae i cannot believe you didn't tell me 😭

yourusername im sorryyyy please forgive me 🙏  tatemcrae i accept paddock passes as an apology btw username shes so real for that lmaoooo

lovingleclerc im crying so hard where can i find a love like this

roscoepawparazzi 😭time to take a bath with my toaster

single.sad. heading to the highway, anyone with me?

banana_leclerc ✋

francisca.cgomes aaaa tão fofo so cute

charlottesine belleeee beautyyy

yourusername je t'aime 😘 nous devons nous réunir un jour! i love you! we have to get together one day time44hammertime i love that they're friends apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD EITHER honeybadger3 OH MY GOD CHA HI teamlando4 did charles homie hopper leclerc strike again?? f1gossipnews i actually heard that cha introduced charles to yn after they broke up so 😌no more homie hopper leclerc pieasstree eek i love this sm yn is such a girls girl mrstealyogirl charles needs to watch out his ex is about to steal his girl lol

taglist: @remyspams 😘

requests are open! (i promise i'm working on them)

[raya-rhaenyra-ahsoka]

My thoughts on Ep. 4 - I Plunge to My Death, A rant

First off, Sally and baby Percy scene was so cute. I swear to god, no one will ever top Sally Jackson for being the best mortal parent in the series.

That Percabeth bonding scene in the train. Bruh, I cannot wait for the Kindness International truck and Waterland scenes.

Annabeth opening up about her Dad and Percy utterly shocked that not all mortal parents are like his Mom.

Frederick’s college ring on Annabeth’s necklace. To non book-readers, yes, that's her Dad's name.

Annabeth having to earn Thalia’s respect.

Luke caring for Annabeth right away just makes it more gut-wrenching and heart-breaking with what he’s about to do. (SPOILER ALERT) “Family, Luke. You promised.”

Grover being super grouchy when he doesn’t get enough sleep. And as someone in their twenties, I totally could relate to him.

This convo:

Percy : Can I ask a dumb question?

Annabeth: It's like you need me to make fun of you.

That's it, that's their relationship.

Mentioning the god of the wild, Pan, and that there are searchers for him.

How that convo basically went:

Train Cop: I don’t think you wanna take that tone with me, little girl.

Annabeth: EXFUCKINGCUSE ME?

Grover: Annabeth, no-!

Echidna calling the cops on 3 minors, just screams typical Karen behavior.

The St. Louis Arch being an actual temple of Athena is a nice change from Annabeth just wanting to go sightseeing.

This convo:

Percy: You've done more for me in the past few days than my father has done in my entire life. If I had to stick with someone, I-

Annabeth: Careful, I think you were about to call me a friend.

Percy: *stumbles because of the poison from the stinger*

Annabeth: *catches him*

Again, that’s their relationship.

Annabeth and Grover splashing water at Percy at a fountain when there’s a big-ass river nearby. Idk, but I find that funny.

Athena letting Echidna and the Chimera into the Arch because it wounded her pride? OH, HELL NO!

Athena’s Logic: Punish her devotee because someone close to them did something that wounded her pride. Medusa=Poseidon; Annabeth=Percy. She didn’t even gave a f*ck that the devotee in question is her own daughter. WTF, ATHENA!

I always thought Zeus has the crown for being the deadbeat absent godly parent, but Athena is slowly giving him a run for his money.

Annabeth deciding to sacrifice herself so Percy and Grover can continue the quest. WTF!

Percy tricking Annabeth into taking the final stand himself. Dude, your fatal flaw is showing.

Annabeth having to deal with a forbidden child sacrificing themselves for her safety AGAIN (With Thalia, and now Percy). Girl must be traumatized.

Grover having to go through it again as well.

The Chimera being terrifying than how non clear-sighted mortals see it.

Poseidon “always been here/so hard for me to stand back” Daddy to the rescue.

This:

Percy: *gets stuck underwater*

Nereid: It’s okay. You father sent me-

Percy: Oh, hell no! *tries to swim harder*

Percy only now realizing he can breath underwater. Like, of course, he can. He's Poseidon's kid.

We're only in Episode 4 and it's already so good. Can't wait for the episode 5.

[megantheestallion-ismypresident]

Love Me

Summary: Adin is well known for his edates so he invites kai and tries to set him up with a girl, sooner or later kai and y/n became something more.

"OK, uhhm we got one more girl to introduce." Adin said to Kai.

"OK, she better be bad, I like seeing a pretty girl through the screen." Kai said smiling thinking about the girl Adin going to invite.

" I got you, bro, just by her name she bad, you can even check her Insta she bad as fuck." Adin reassures Kai.

"Alright, bruh, I put my faith in you nigga, she betta be bad." Kai tells Adin as he drinks some water.

"OK, let me invite her." Adin says as he invites you to the chat.

"Hey." Said Y/n as she greets herself.

Kai was almost about to spit out his water while looking at, you look like dream come true.

'Damn she bad, I'm boutta shoot my shot." Kai thought to himself.

"Hey, Y/n how are you?" Adin ask you.

" Uhm, I'm doing good I never really done this stuff before so this is my first time." Y/n said to adin smiling.

Kai was punching the air right now through his mind, you was to fine. Your hair was freshly done, you had these cute pink acrylic nails, and your shiny glossy lips, Kai had to have you, just down bad just looking at you, he got to get know you.

As Adin start talking Kai shut him up.

"Damn, nigga let me talk to the pretty girl you the one that setting me up her." Kai said smiling wanting adin to be quiet so he could talk to Y/n.

"OK, damn, I'll just mute myself while you two talk, let me go get something I'll be right back." Adin said as he got up and left, leaving only you and Kai.

"Hi." Said Y/n

"Hey." Kai responded back.

"Wait, you said this yo first time, right? Why is that?." Kai said wanting to smack himself why he gotta be so forward.

"I'm sorry if that sounded forward, I was trying get to know you, I don't wanna leave a pretty girl like bored, you know what I'm sayin." Kai said making Y/n smile.

"Now that I ain't a problem, I never really do this stuff before, I'm focused on me, my family gotta provide for myself, so I never really put to much stuff on a nigga right know, you know, and boys never really notice me" Y/n said sadly, kai notice that.so he try to light the mood.

"Them niggas bugging then, cause if I was them and if I saw you in public I'll try my shot, word to my deads." Kai said making Y/n smile.

Kai and Y/n hit it off they been talking about they personal lives and what they do, Kai made Y/n feel some time a way she never felt like with a man, he was different he was nice, he liked her for her, and he was funny.

"I know this seems to early since I just met you and all, but can I get you number?" Y/n said making Kai's eyes go wide.

"Yeah, that's cool." Kai said trying to play ot cool knowing he wanted to jump and scream.

Adin came back seeing Y/n and Kai hitting it off, he know Kai is gonna thank him later.

"It was nice talking to you." Y/n said to Kai.

"It was nice talking to you, too." Kai said.

Y/n left the call.

Kai started screaming and shouting as he ran around his room.

"Ayo, W man's Bruh, Adin thank you bruh, I appreciate you doin this, man." Kai said.

"No, problem dude." Adin said to kai.

"Alright, I gotta go I'll talk to you later." Said Adin as he was about to leave the call.

"Alright, peace." Kai said as he left the call.

Kai couldn't stop thinking bout you. He turn around to see Fanum opening his door to coming inside his room.

" What you smiling for, gang?" Fanum question as he sees kai smiling.

"Bro, adin set me up with this bad bitch, bruh she fine as hell and I got her number." Kai said to Fanum, Fanum dab Kai up.

"W Rizz, Nigga." Fanum said dabbing up Kai.

"Ayo. Chat I finally got a girl." Kai said smiling to the camera.

(I'm not sure if I like this, but I hope u guys like this and tell me what u think?)

[kingdeku-queentoga]

I'll be honest, I wasn't that crazy for Asmodeus first appearance in the show because to me he was someone I wouldn't mind not seeing again, but this new ep had really shown off his character.

Bro is just a gentleman that is reasonable, nice, and simply head over heels for his man.

I am honestly going to break down this whole scene just because it is that good and interesting.

I love how the first thing he does is ask stolas how is his love life with blitz going, not even holding a grudge about them crashing his club.

Then if you look close at what ozz was doing to the chair, he was literally pulling out stolas seat for him.

Now Asmodeus view on love potions is valid, there is no love, no thrill, no LUST behind such a lazy, forceful, boring thing. It should be a journey, there should be passion, it has to be earned... then enjoyed heh.

This was where it got funny because he really hit stolas with "honey I would help you if I could be unfortunately... my bf HATES your bf, so I'm sorry but I can't help you with this" BRUH LMAO, that is why he is a real one for that because he doesn't have a problem with blitz himself BUT his bf do, so that means he can't exactly help his bf enemy, even if him and stolas are cool with each other.

And another point is giving to him because even when stolas asked why do fizzarolli hate blitz, he told him "sorry but that isn't my business to tell" instead of telling fizzarolli and blitz whole backstory together, or what he do know about them. Which is awesome because sometimes people will tell somebody everything when it is not their business.

[jeansplaytoy]

aot people and what dogs they have

this was funnnn , no warnings !!

starting off , i feel like eren would have a french bulldog 😭 he don’t even seem like a big dog typa person (not in the animal way) but he would def name the dog after him like with the same initials or something. like ej (eren jeager) jr.

“ej jr, getcho ass back over here.”

“bruh ej jr ian even playin nomo bruh.”

“junior, why you eat my new…” and take a deep ass breath. “why you eat my new shoes?”

but to be honest he can’t even be mad cus him and the dog act just alike 💀 and i feel like ej jr would be hella nice, just play too much (like eren). like the amount of times this dog has took off down the sidewalk and eren just stood there, sick and tired of the bullshit. he’d definitely be one of those people that would be like “dogs too much to handle” but kept the dog no matter whatttt.

next up is connie, who would prolly have a doberman i’m not even finna lie. like he would want a dog that looks scary, but isn’t actually mean. and that’s specifically his dog.

like he’s trained enough that if connie tells him to attack like for real, that mf gon attack. but he’s trained enough to know if connie just playin or not. but he got it kinda good cus when i say everybody is scared of this boys dog …. it ain’t even funny 💀

everybody is scared of it except for the main group. he gotta keep it in its room (yet it had its own room) for somebody to come over his house.

and i feel like he’d name it like domino or spade (ykyk).

“yo spade come here lil bro!”

“spade go eat yo food, you had me fixing that shit for nun.”

“spade. go in yo room fool.”

he also squares up and play fights wit the dog 😭.

next up is jean. now this mf know he wrong, but he would have one of them tall ass dogs, like a irish wolfhound or sumn.

now this dog is sum else, jeans dog would be hella chill, but taking it out in public? 💀shiddd. everybody staring and looking like a mf and he honestly, HONESTLYYY don’t understand why. people will literally be like “bruh, that dog is huge as fuck.” and he’ll just be like “ion know what y’all be talmout, but ight.” AND IT AINT NO ACT cus he tall too😭.

the dogs name would prolly be clifford, ngl. the only difference is that the dog ain’t red. but other than that, he chill as hellll.

“clifford, stop tryna eat paper and shit!”

“cliff’ you chewed my bottle of water bro.”

“clifford, go. just go sit down, damn.”

there’s really no problems with this dog other than the fact that it’s big, but it’s trained a lot and hella good. like the dog knows to sit down in its normal spot when people come over and not to try to jump on people when they’re standing up, stuff like that.

so ony would probably have a small dog just like eren, and it’d probably be a papillon and lemme tell you, he would literally treat this dog like a princesssss omggg.

buy her clothes, paint her nails, brush and comb her hair, brush her teeth, treats everywhere in the bottom of the pantry. like he’ll treat the dog like his own daughter. he always holds her, she’s trained (kind of), like what else could a dog ask for?

but the namewise, i feel like he’d name his dog princeee, honestly. 😭

“princess, bring yo tiny ass-“

“you hungry, P’?”

“princess get that shit out yo mouth!”

of course he’ll only fuss at the dog if she really being disobedient like the time his bed was covered in toilet paper, like ten rolls.

now speaking of fussing, mikasa will forever get fussed at for buying not one, but two black perro de prasa canarios. when i say this girl don’t give a damn bout walking at night with her hands full at all, even when the dogs ain’t on a leash, they’re trained REALLY good. so when she’s actually scared or nervous about somebody following her, they’ll do exactly what she says. full on barking and then stopping mid bark when she says so.

everybodies scared of her dog (and connie would be jealous because not that many people really care about his when they see hers) but it’s not even on purpose, she just wants them for protection honestly.

their names would probably be bullet and gun. obviously.

“gun, bullet, why is there dog food everywhere?”

“gun, bro stop tryna fight bullet.”

“bullet, stop shaking water everywhere!”

bullet is bullet because he got a lot of energy and gun is gun because he’s more intimidating. like they got the spike collars and all, mikasa was not playing.

last but not least, sasha would have a dog that she could laugh at everyday, like a greyhound.

now honestly her and this dog will argue each other from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes back to sleep. they would be so on and off. 😭 but she’d dress the dog up and stuff and be really nice to it.

the only thing she’d really laugh at is how skinny the dog looks. but the name would probably be bones.

“bones, stop chewing on my airpods cases!”

“bones, get out. please get out.”

“bones stop scratching meee!”

but she obviously loves her dog cus she’s the type to have it since she was like 16 maybe. and they play fight too but she always ends up losing the fight, and one of her lashes in the process.

let’s not talk about how i fg to put armin, hope u enjoyed.

[blacst4r]

DECISIONS (1)

Pairings: Jey uso x black fem x Jimmy uso

Warnings: Smut, Infidelity

Summary: In the midst of relationship turmoil, Lola turns to the wrong person.

gifs ©️mocooper98

Lola & Jon shared a laugh amongst conversation as they sat on the couch drinking, they'd had a couple glasses since she got here an hour ago. The effects of the bourbon settled nicely in their system, giving them a warm and fuzzy feel as they talked. Jon was a lot more goofier than usual, which had Rayne giggling off every other word. She finished what was left of her drink, setting the glass down beside her feet as her phone buzzed- an incoming call from BABY💍She declined the call, setting her phone to dnd.  

Jon downed his glass too, placing his on the floor before clearing his throat, "so you and uce still not good?" he watched her through heavy lids.

"Nah, we on a break so I can figure shit out, I'm just over the back and forth with him" she rolled her eyes, recounting arguments her and Josh had in the past months. 

Jon chuckled, "guess I'm not helpin with that huh?"

She smiled in response, "no you good, you taking my mind off of it," palming his knee before removing it. 

This became the norm for Lola, as she'd been going through turmoil with Josh for several months now. The countless arguments and constant bickering had her seeking solace in his twin brother Jon, who provided a shoulder to lean on. They'd all known each other for years so she didn't feel uncomfortable going to him, especially since he opened the door figuratively, and literally to vent her frustrations. Jon always seemed to put a smile on her pretty face, taking pleasure in doing so more than his brother. 

Jon secretly had a thing for Lola, and that desire didn't dwindle just because his uce had snatched her up. The boys were different concerning relationships, Josh being more of a playboy, and Jon being more of the committment type. Lola desired marriage and kids when Josh wasn't in a rush with either, handing excuse after excuse. Yet it was Jon who shared similar wants, just unbeknowst to her. He never voiced them because it was evident she was in love with Josh. 

But when their relationship hit a rough patch, Jon was quick to offer up his support, as quick as she was accepting it. That's how she found herself frequenting his home to seemingly unwind from the stress. 

"Aye I'm at yo' service, whatever you need" his hooded eyes possessed a lust as they bore into hers, darkening the longer they connected. Lola became flushed with a heat that had her skin blazing under his stare. It was written all over her face that she was flustered, trying to play it off with an eye roll "boy don't play wit' me." 

Jon licked his lips, "i'm serious, shit i'm low-key mad lil bruh aint treating you right, you deserve better" he admitted, continuing to ramble, "I mean you fine as hell, thick, funny, wife material, shit I woulda been had you at the alter" he professed. He observed her stunned expression as he chuckled to himself, slightly embarassed, "damn I said all dat?" he rubbed his neck, "my bad-"

"Did you really mean it?" she cut him off softly.

With his head lowered, he leered at her, "hell yeah." 

That set off something in her, drawing a lust from within and making her act on it as she crawled over and onto his lap, straddling him. She flipped her braids behind her shoulder as his hands quickly found her hips. The heat that radiated between them was something dangerous, they'd never been this close, in this state of mind. 

"So you think you deserve me?" she spoke barely above a whisper as his hands crept up her sides, shooting a thrill down her spine.

"I know I do, you won't ever need for nothing if you were mine" he declared, with lips inching closer until they ghosted hers. "Big bruh gon treat you better," he planted one kiss, "do you better," then another, "and dig in dat pussy better," until they were full blown making out. Lola threw her arms around his neck, deepening the intoxicating kiss. Their lips moved deliciously in harmony, the small space provided when their lips did part, made room for his tongue to invade her mouth. They could taste the liquid courage that had them sucking each others faces off. 

Jon broke the heated exchange to sloppily kiss along her neck, applying pressure to the most sensitive areas of skin, as she bit her lip and hummed.

He spoke deeply into her ear, "he don't know what to do witchu, but I'mma get you right and send a messege to him."

"So get me right then" she purred boldly.

With her in his hold, he moved to the end of the sofa and rose to his feet, securing her around his waist as he cupped her ass. He headed down a hall, and into his bedroom where his foot nudged the door shut. Jon walked over to the bed and laid Lola down as she began stripping of her plum bralette and matching skirt. Jon followed suit, pulling his jacket up and over his head, revealing his toned and tatted body. He yanked his sweats and briefs down, letting his hard dick spring out. Lola gazed at the sight of his lengthy, thick, member at attention. Damn, he definitely gave Josh some competition.

He stepped out his remaining clothes, wasting no time climbing on top of her, snapping her legs back around him. With arms on either side of her head, his face hovered above hers, "i'mma show that you made a mistake pickin' the wrong twin."

He grabbed his dickhead to line it up with her wet slit, proding at her entrance as she whined before sliding in. They both shared lament as he delved between her walls inch by inch, Jon groaned as he submerged in her wetness, "pussy soaked already, damn Lo." 

"Sshit" she hissed at the way his girth stretched her wide as he buried himself inside, settling balls deep, practically in her stomach. "Fuck Jon" she cursed in amazement.

He started rolling his hips slowly inward, delivering tender strokes to get her adjusted to his size. She wore a softened expression, with sullen lids and lips formed into a pout as she whimpered from every thrust. As her eyes threatened to shut he gripped her chin, "look at me while i'm beatin my pussy up" his lips tighening as he growled with a crazed look, "i'm yo' daddy na."

Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly nodded in obedience, staying locked in on him as he began to pound her harder. Her sweet, mangled, cries filled the room as he dragged his length out to drop it back in. Jon placed their foreheads together as he ghosted her lips, "he shoulda never had you...fuck, imma take you from him baby." Lola wanted to verbally respond so badly, but her words were coiled in her throat, only forming broken wails instead.

Jon was drumming his pole through her cunt at such a frantic pace that her heart thumped, and eyes fluttered everytime he tapped her g-spot. He had her spine curved upward, and her toes curled in.

"Ooooh fuck daddy!!" she called to him weakly as he displayed that cheshire grin, loving the way it rolled off her tongue so passionately.

"Yeah say my name baby...just like that."

He lifted up and unhooked her legs, folding them back before pounding her cunt relentlessly. Her gut-wrenching screams echoed off the walls continuously as she gripped the sheets. He fucked her with purpose and intent while mentally thanking his brother for putting her in this position. Josh pushed Lola away and right into Jons arms, and dick that had her thick thighs trembling from the sensation as she clenched up.

"DADDY! M'BOUTTA CUM!" she shrieked as her stomach knotted up.

"Cum on this dick it's all yours" he snarled, rutting his hips aggressively. She did just that, her juices spurting out with a squeal as he refused to lessen up his speed or stop, too engulfed in her rapture.

He pulsated inside her clamored walls, about to buss with strokes that became more sloppy and rushed, chasing his nut.

"Shit! M'close!" his eyes closed and his mouth went ajar to exhale roughly. His skin shuddered as he emptied inside, filling her up with his warm, creamy seed. He came to a stop, finally pulling out of her and going in for a sensual kiss.