#but apparently it could just be that i don't eat enough fruits

[puddingcatbeans]

gods the human body is a fucking nightmare. let me out

[veritasangel]

Taking care of you when you're sick

ft. Dabi, Bakugo, Deku, Shoto, Kirishima, Shinso

⋆ ˚｡⋆ any pov (kids could be adopted in shoto's) ୨୧˚ warnings: all sfw except bakugo's

wc: 1.4k

fwb - Katsuki Bakugo

What you and Bakugo had was nothing serious, just casual sex and nothing more as he always said.

He was always too busy with work for anything more.

And so there was really no need for him to come over when you were sick, right?

“What are you doing here?” you ask, voice hoarse as you open the door to see Bakugo casually walking in, hands full with heavy bags.

“Well you sounded like shit over the phone so thought I’d bring some things over to help.” he says as he begins unloading the bags, the inside contents varying from fruit, soup, medicine, and other useful things to random items that you don't even need, like those unnecessary curly straws.

“Uhh, thanks?” you question, “I’m not fucking you, you know?”

“Damn straight you’re not, I ain’t sleeping with someone who’s coughing their guts up. I’m not into that.” he blurts out, as he finishes emptying the bags.

You roll your eyes at his ridiculousness as he guides you to the sofa and begins setting up everything you might need on the coffee table.

“I got the day off work tomorrow so I’m gonna stay over tonight, you know just to make sure you don’t die or anything.”

“How nice.” you joke as you smile at him, “So you do care about me?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” he mumbles, pulling you onto his lap and flicking through the shitty tv shows that he always mocks you for watching.

ex bf - Eijiro Kirishima

You two had broken up but also kinda not really, you still talk almost all of the time and occasionally end up in each other’s beds.

So it’s no wonder he’s the first over to look after you when he hears you’re sick, the two of you were basically still together without the title.

He's annoying but you love him.

“Pass the remote, this movie’s shit.” Kirishima says from where he’s leaning back on one end of the sofa.

“Get it yourself, I’m sick.” you groan, rolling over to your side.

“Oh yeah, right." he remembers, lifting his head to look at you, before sitting up to grab the remote and passing you a snack from the table, “You look cute like this, you know?”

“I look like a mess.”

“A cute mess.” he says, “my cute mess.”

“I'm not your anything, we broke up 3 months ago.” you raise your eyebrows at him.

“2 and a half.”

You turn your attention back to the TV, “Do the specifics really matter?”

“Alright sorry we can go with your rounded up 3 months then.” he says raising his hands in mock surrender, “My smoothie must've been good because your voice sounds better, you sound less like you smoke 30 a day.”

“You’re so charming.” you scoff but the affection in your tone is still there

“I love you too, my little snotty mess.” he teases before laying on top of you enough to almost crush you.    

older bf - Dabi

Always feels uncomfortable when someone’s sick, like he doesn’t know what to do

Tries his best though because he wants to take care of you the way you do, him.

Usually ends up looking up what to do on google and then does everything and anything he sees.

“Touya what is all this?” you mumble as you open your eyes from your nap.

“Well I looked up all of your symptoms, a bunch of possible things came up, there might be a 50% chance you’re dying.”

“How reassuring.” you joke, a knowing smile on your face.

He rolls his eyes, “Well it’s probably just a bug but gotta' cover all bases, you know?” he says “Apparently ginger is good for nausea so there's ginger tea on the side, and some ginger biscuits, a carrot and ginger soup and then also some ginger shot thing, I don’t know but I think that’s good.” He rambles on as he runs you through everything.

“Now that you’ve rested, if you just eat and keep hydrated, then I’ll run you a bath and you’ll feel better in no time.”

“Well I don’t need all of that, but I appreciate the consideration. You didn’t have to buy all this for me though.”

“Oh I didn’t, I used your card.”

And you just laugh as you reach for a biscuit because of course he did.

best friend - Hitoshi Shinso

Less vocal about his care but it’s there, you know it is.

Offers to do anything you need. Planned to buy groceries? He’s already out of the door to get them. Wanted to clean the house? He’s practically turned into a personal maid.

Will use his quirk to keep you in bed if he has to.

“You said you wouldn’t use you quirk on me again.” you sigh as you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I said I wouldn’t use it on you for no reason.” he adds in as he opens the windows in your bedroom. “Would you like some water?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“You already did.” he grins as you chuck your pillow at him, “Kidding, kidding, I don’t plan on using it again, as long as you do as you’re told and stay in bed.”

"Fine, fine." you give up. "Maybe I should get sick more often if it has you waiting on me hand and foot."

He smirks, handing you the pillow back, "I'd do that even when you're not sick, you know, if you actually let me, instead of acting all independent 25/8." he shakes his head, looking down at you.

coworker - Izuku Midoriya

The two of you are both pro heroes that regularly work together and when he overhears one of his favourite heroes is sick? He’s straight there

He’s very caring and selfless of course

He's responsible enough to make sure everything is stable before he up and leaves his duties.

Asks how you’re feeling about 20 times a minute because his mind is racing.

“Izuku, what are you-”

“I heard you weren’t feeling well. Have you been sleeping? Did you get injured-” he begins listing off a million different things that could be wrong.

“Chill, it’s just a small cold, no big deal.” you reassure him.

“Well still…you work yourself too hard and it’s having an effect on your immune system.” he says disappointedly, “You can’t be a hero if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re as bad as kacchan, if not worse.” he shakes his head

He’s immediately making himself at home in your kitchen, preparing a soup and when you tell him there’s canned soup in the cupboard, he scoffs, “I’m making a vegetable soup that my Mum used to make for me when I was sick, it’ll do you much better."

"It's okay I-"

"No, buts. Go and relax on the sofa or have a refreshing shower. I'll bring it to you when it's done. Can't have one of my best suffering, can I?" he says as your eyes meet his and you can feel your cheeks heating up.

husband- Shoto Todoroki

So tender and caring when you’re sick

He knows exactly how to take care of you and honestly probably knew you were getting sick before you did.

Has Fuyumi look after the kids so he can focus fully on you.

“No don’t worry, I have everything covered. Kids are gonna stay with Fuyumi for a few days and she’ll make sure they’re all sorted." He says, tenderly rubbing small circles on your hand.

"Touya offered to take them in but I don’t trust our little girls not to come back with some dodgy hairstyle with spray-in hair colour.” He jokes, earning you a small laugh.

"Good choice." you smile as he checks your temperature again.

"Since the medicine, your fever's going down slowly. Do you want another peppermint tea?" He says softly as he looks over your face with concern.

"No, just want cuddles." you mumble and of course he obliges. He's instantly under the duvet, pulling you in close to him as he wraps both arms securely around you.

"You're not worried about getting sick?"

"Nothing will ever keep me away from you, much less a small bug." he tuts as if it's obvious, kissing the top of your head.

༄ m.list

© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 15/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

hooo weee this is a long one. A reaction chapter part 1

A few things to clear up:

Sir Pentious is in Heaven

They do not know that yet.

He'll have a part in the sequel!

------------------------------------------

Charlie is beyond worried.

She and the entirety of Pride sat in anticipation as Hell's highest powers perform the ritual again. Her dad disappeared a month ago and in his absence, she thinks she had handled Pride rather well. Vaggie and her friends were a big help though, as well as her uncles and aunts if they could.

Charlie has not missed once broadcast ever since it aired. Every time she looks for her dad among the demons and every time she's disappointed.

She keeps watching anyway in support- no matter how busy she was. The hotel residents do the same, dropping what they were doing to all sit in the couch together and watch this 'til it ended. The first time it aired created a mass panic that Charlie had to induce a Hellshake to placate her people. It somehow worked.

After the panic, it became the biggest hit "show" in Pride, resulting in the production of legit merch and even a few parodies- like it's just a game, like this can't kill them all.

That craze lasted almost 2 weeks but even the fanatics stopped watching when it was apparent that this wasn't a quick fix. Panic again then calm then panic- over and over and over again.

Vaggie: Babe?

Charlie: Hey, Vaggie.

Charlie tried to give her lover her usual smiles but she thinks she haven't given one ever since her dad left. Worry and guilt are eating her whole and she's just trying to stay afloat.

Vaggie: Hey, come on. What's going on in that pretty head of yours?

Charlie: Flatterer.

Vaggie: Not wrong though. But don't try to change the subject. .. Is it about your dad?

Charlie: I don't think I remember a time in a hundred years when it wasn't. When did it go so wrong, Vaggie? We were so happy when I was a kid..

Something inside the princess whispered her mother's name. She shakes off that thought because there's no way. Her mom and dad loved each other.

'But then why did they split? Why did your mom leave? Why did your dad fall in love with someone again?'

The voices are making a point but there's no chance her dad was going to tell her everything and it's not like her mom is even an option.

When Vaggie told her that Alastor and her dad were something, she tried to think of every moment she saw of her dad and the radio demon together after the hotel was rebuilt. The princess of Hell trusts Alastor but she doesn't know if she can trust him with her dad.

But..

Charlie: Dad is happier.

Vaggie: Huh?

Charlie: Sorry. Was thinking of him and how Alastor is probably helping him come out more than I am.

Vaggie: Hey hey. I know your dad would be devastated if he knew you were thinking that. He loves you and you love him, right?

Charlie: More than anything.

Vaggie: That's my girl. Now why don't we-

Cherri: Holy shit! Guys! The broadcast turned on again!

All of them rushed to the lobby upon hearing the cyclops yell. They thought it was over 30 minutes ago when the nth overlord and Goetia fainted. Guess Vox was a bit afraid he would be next and turned it off to save face.

Angel: Holy shit!

Holy shit indeed. The one on the screen is none other than her dad! And a beautiful lady in white?

Husk: Who the fuck is that?

Nifty: She looks so clean! I wanna know what products she use.

Vaggie: Do you know who that is?

Charlie: Probably who dad was looking for.

Goodie: Such words! Angel, was self-preservation not included when you gave them the fruit of knowledge? Lucifer: Apparently not.

Okay, they clearly missed out on some context because her dad just arrived and he's mad. They watch as Lucifer grabs Velvette's face hard enough to bleed. Everyone is kneeling and seem to be locked in place. Husk eyes Alastor's monstrous form in the background warily.

Husk: Something happened.

Lucifer: I can't blame you. I was not the most present ruler, after all. But I thought I made something very clear when I dealt with that moth man.... I guess one example isn't enough.

One moment Velvette was struggle and the next her fucking jaw is gone!

Angel: Holy shit!

Husk: Ugh! You keep saying that. Don't you have any other words than holy shit?

Angel: 'M sorry, Huskie. But what else am I supposed to say to that huh??

Charlie's winces but her eyes are still glued to the screen as her dad summons his flaming sword and brings it down to the pink demon.

Lucifer: So, let me keep it simple. I'm Lucifer Morningstar. The creator of the first sin. The angel that damned humanity. Í̷̫̈́́͂̒̚̕͝͝͝'̶̨̛̺̤̿̀͒͛̂̿͋̄̑͆́͘͠͝M̴̝̯̖̦͍̽̎̏͆̔ ̴̛̛̄̋̈̑̓̀̓̃̄͐͗ͅŸ̷͇̙̟͈̭̥̬̻̙͔̠̱́̽̊̊ͅÔ̵̤͙͈̬̫̪͕̼͍͌̀̔͜U̴͈̼͖̯̤͌̀̀̓̾̔͆̈́̊͑͗̕͠͝R̵̨̹͍̦͒͌̋͒͆͌̄͛̓͑̔́͜ ̸̝͑̐̀̉̃͠͝F̵̞͖̮̗̗̜̯̯͔̮͒̊͒̈́̈́́̽́̂̂͑̎͝U̵̟̙̱̙̯̤̼̙͈̳̘̫͊̈̀C̷̙̞̔̅̊͌͋K̷̖͙̼̪̠̾̄̅̾͘I̵̛̩̘̜͖̩̙̿̐̽́͊́̒͆̆̎̑͗N̴̤̏̂͝G̸͋̋̍ͅ ̵̡͈̩̹̗̹̝̻̬͍̗̬̲̳̟̍͋̽͛̒̉̍͊͑̑̋̅̽Ḳ̷̡̬͔̞̱̤̬̮͉̙͇̪͛̅͊̚I̵̤͙̪̞̝͔̱͎̜̩̖̺̟͔̙͊Ṉ̵͈̤̘͚̻̙̼̓͂̌͋́̎͜ͅĢ̸̭͔͇̹̹̳̭͋̓̒͗̈́̉̈́̂̚.

They all had to avert their eyes as a giant ball of flame came down to finish Velvette off.

Lucifer: Û̶̪̌͐́̂̆͠͠n̸̛̟͕̱͍̫̘̻̣̱͈͈͇̱̜͛̓͗̏̅̇͋̒͆͊̓͗̚͠d̷̢̢̨̼̙͈̞͈͓͈͙̂̌͋̔̂̉̍̈́͆̿̈́̕͘͜͠e̵̛͍̯̫̼̫̐͛̊̒̆̉̓̊̽̓̒̒̚͘ŗ̶̨̢̧̮̜͙̪̹̯̙̪̤̠̝̓́̒̋͆̆̓̿͐̄̓̕̚̕ş̷̛̮͖̰̝̟͇͕̟̞̳̟̪̥̂̀̈́̈͗́̿̐̔̎̕̕͠t̶̮̖̭̹͓͉̪̣̦͙̖͍́͐͂̑͒̑͂̑̾̓̍̊͝ô̵̥͓̥͐̄̏̀̾̀̽̆ò̴̜͇̣̣̳͖̗̹̟̇̓͑͝ͅd̸̨̨͈͓̠͑͑̒̎̈́͘͠?̸̟̎̈

Even the sinners in the safety of the hotel nodded in fear. Lucifer made a delighted noise and with a clap, Velvette is back in one piece, albeit trembling in Vox's arms.

Lucifer: What? Do you really think I killed her? Sounds counterproductive. We still have a situation at hand and you are no use to me dead. Goodie: Up now! My sister is becoming restless.

Everyone let out a breath they didn't know they were holding. Angel collapsed to Husk's side, when did he even stand up? Nifty didn't move a muscle but her maniacal smile is gone. Cherri started fiddling with an ignited bomb out of nowhere which Angel had to move to throw.

Goodie: Remember, angel, if this fails, you must do what I have told you. Lucifer: Let's start.

Angel: Holy shit.

Holy shit indeed.

-----------------------------------------

Part 16 will be the 2nd part of the reaction before Lucifer goes in!

Dk if I will post on Wednesday as it will be my birthday! yayy

[teyamsgrl]

all scraped up ✧ jake sully

❗️MDNI ❗️

🗣️ JAKE IS SUCH A GOOD SOFT DOM I CANTTTT!!! the idea of him being angrily concerned just gets me!!!

°˖➴ warnings: fem omatikaya reader, a little angry!jake, softdom!jake, oral m receiving (bit of face fucking), dirty talk, l-bombs, nice and deep missionary 😮‍💨 - tìyawn: love

you were running as fast as your long legs could take you (which was honestly pretty fast), not daring to look back at the 2 sky people as their avatars chasing after you, large guns in hand. you didn't mean to put yourself in this position, but it was a stupid mistake. you were out to hunt... in the far area of the forest, an area that the sky people often frequented as it was an easy, out of sight place to land without making a scene. jake had warned you of this and strongly advised you not to enter this area; you clearly hadn't listened. you had lived in the forest your entire life, you knew how to be nimble and where to hide. you were unlucky today though, spotting the sky people and moving behind a tree, only to get your foot stuck in some vines, rustling becoming apparent. you were quickly spotted, them turning to chase you down. you bolted like there was no tomorrow, finally losing them after weaving and swinging through enough trees.

you were now about to enter your shared tent with jake, scrapes all over your arms and legs from sprinting through the deep forest. you knew jake would give you shit and that he especially wouldn't be happy that you knowingly went into an unsafe area. you breathe shakily and enter the tent, spotting jake on the floor eating some fruit you had cut up earlier. "hey princess" he says, eyes flickering up and scanning all the red scrapes along your body. he shoots up, approaching you concernedly, "what happened? are you alright?" he cups your cheek, worried eyes staring into yours. "i'm okay, just a bit too clumsy in the trees..." you avoid eye contact, unable to lie so easily. he grabs your chin and tilts it back up, "tell me the truth". his voice is stern yet still laced with worry, "some sky people, i tried to hide but my foot got stuck...", "sky people... where was this?" shit. he was onto you. "the uh- that area far past tree of souls..." you breathe out, nervously watching as his eyes narrow. "i specifically told you never to go out there, you're lucky they didn't catch you and nonetheless you still got scratched up! why would you purposefully ignore an order in regards to your own safety?" the anger that has encapsulated his voice makes you cower underneath him, shifting around in embarrassment. "i don't know, tìyawn, i'm sorry... it was a stupid idea.." you whisper, nibbling on your bottom lip as you try to piece together what his facial expression may mean. "yes it was" he sighs, running a hand down over his face. you place your hands on his chest and he leans in to kiss your head, "sorry, princess.. it's just- the last thing i want is you getting hurt. promise me you won't go out there again?" "promise.." you trail off, pout displayed on your lips as your fingers dance down his abs, tracing the waistband of his loincloth. your doe eyes look up into his, his amber ones now darker than they were just a minute ago.

"let me... make it up to you?" you slowly drop to your knees, removing his loincloth. you begin kissing along his v-line, making your way to his cock which is now rock hard. your gaze shoots back up to jake, lips slightly parted while he awaits your next move. "please, darling" he hums and drags a finger along your plump lips, a smile forming on them. you kiss his finger before moving in and repeating the action on his leaking tip. you run your tongue along his tip, cleaning up his precum. he gasps faintly, one hand trailing to the back of your head as the other presses on the wall behind you. you suck in his tip, solely giving it attention for a few minutes as it was one of jake's favourite things. "mhmmm yeah..." he moans out, eyes shutting out of pleasure. you sink further down, mouth taking in his entire length. he groans, hand gripping onto your queue for support. you begin bobbing up and down on him, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. "that's it, that's so good.. so good darling" he starts to thrust gently, urging you to pause your movements. he croons in content, thrusting faster into your mouth. you whine around him, vibrations shooting through his cock. he moans louder, fucking and using your mouth. "such a pretty girl.." he breathes and continues on, grip on your queue now tighter. "shit-" he pulls you off, smiling down at you. you pout as you look up at him, emitting a chuckle from his mouth, "gotta save my cum for your pussy, don't i?" you whine and nod, standing up in front of jake.

he leans in and kisses you lustfully, one hand holding your chin and the other untying your loincloth from your tail. your tongue travels into his mouth, his swiping against yours. he disconnects your lips, bringing you down to the woven mat on your tent floor. you lie on your back, jake moving between your legs and wrapping them around his waist. he grabs his cock, gliding the tip through your wet folds. "ma'jake, please~" you whimper, eager for him to pump you full. he smirks and nudges his cock inside, your pussy drawing him in strongly. he groans and leans over you, hands falling on each side of your head. he starts thrusting, each one deep and firm as his tip caresses your cervix. "s-so big.." you whine out, eyes rolling into your head. "yeah? feel nice, baby?" he exhales before leaning in to kiss along your jaw, thrusts picking up but still hitting deep inside of you. you wrap your arms around him, nails dragging down his back. he groans in your ear, hips slapping into yours and filling the tent with dirty sounds. "i- so good, so good!" you mewl and squeeze him tighter with your legs, bringing him in as close as possible. you moan as he is now completely pressed into you, his body heat radiating onto you. "tight little pussy.." he moans into your ear again, balls heavy and hitting your ass with each thrust. he kisses on your jaw again, thrusts becoming quite quick, indicating that he is close. your back arches as he speeds up, pussy walls choking his cock as your orgasm also creeps upon you. "fuck- that's it, that's it... i'm gonna cum" he whimpers, cock planted deep as his cum paints your insides. you whine as he breathes heavily above you, his hand trailing to your clit to finish you off. you clearly weren't far away, squirming against his fingers promptly as you began cumming. "great mother! oh jake- shit" you moan as you cream on his cock, hands still digging into his back.

he presses his forehead against yours, pecking your lips as you came down from the orgasm. you giggle as he rolls you two over, pulling you into his chest as his back is now on the mat. "i love you, princess" he whispers and strokes your arm, tender with scratches. "i love you, ma'jake" you whisper back, placing a kiss on his chin. "i won't do anything bad again.." you tease, "or maybe i will... i didn't mind the outcome". he chuckles and shakes his head, "you can be a bad girl for me, but not put yourself in danger". his hands move to your sides, gently tickling. "ah! hey!" you writhe on top of him, trying to escape his merciless tickling. "nope, you're taking it" he laughs and continues before you finally manage to roll off of him, giggling and pushing his hands away. "get back here, baby" he brings you back into his chest, holding you tight. you exhale and relax again, eyes shutting as you rest your head above his heart.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Feel Like Dying

There's nothing quite like airing out the pains and horrors of living in front of a lively fire next to someone who's not quite alive.

Astarion x Reader | 1k+ | cw: gender neutral!reader, suicidal ideation?, angst, soft!astarion, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: I got sick and was in so much pain :D i figured writing something will help. But I couldn't finish it when I was sick, but now I did (((: YAY

Tagging: @sloanexx @amiraisgoingthruit

Pain was coursing through my being. It was a stream with an irregular flow, one moment it was calm, and another it was raging. It was fleeting then roaring. It was a pain that could not be quelled by medicine or magic, it was the sort only time could heal.

"Don't you think you should do something about that?"

I turn over my shoulder, craning my neck as the silver haired man sat down on the log beside me. I feel a bead of sweat form on my temple, "do what about it?"

"Oh, I don't know," he sighs, placing his hands on his lap, "have Shadowheart use a healing spell on you."

The fire before us crackles.

I shake my head, watching cinders fly around the orange flames. The color reminds me of the snack I took with me. I turn to my side and grab the two oranges, handing one to Astarion.

He pulls his hand away from his lap, avoiding the citrus with disgust, "oh, no, darling. None for me."

I pull the one orange away, placing it on my lap. I lean my elbows on my thighs and turn to the fruit in my hand.

I press my thumbs into the orange skin, but find myself too weak to pierce it. My arms begin to shake. I feel pain rush up my limbs. I release the pressure and sigh.

Astarion catches this. His expression softens, "a healing potion, perhaps."

"It's not the type of pain that can be healed," I tell him, "it's a different kind."

He makes a sound then speaks softly, "I am rather acquainted to pain."

I turn to him, lips tugging down, "unfortunate."

"Yes. It very much is unfortunate," he takes the orange from me, "to those I've inflicted it upon."

We both knew that's not what he meant when he said that, but neither of us point it out.

I watch as Astarion peels the orange. The smell of it tingles my nose.

He hands me a segment of the fruit. I stare at it for a moment then stare at him. His red eyes were somehow softened by the campfire, as were the curves of his cheeks and jaw.

"Well, go on," he raises the bit of orange, "I didn't peel this for nothing."

I take the orange from him and eat it. The juice explodes in my mouth. I chew a bit then thank him.

He peels me another part and hands it over.

I take it, ready to say thank you again, but then a hot bolt of pain shoots through me.

Astarion senses this and stiffens in his spot.

I hunch forward, trying to contain my reaction to the pain, but a whine manages to leave my lips.

"Scream," he says, "wail, shout, cry over the pain. Who cares if it's the middle of the night. Be hurt if it hurts."

I slowly straighten up and sigh, "my head will throb if I scream."

"Oh..." he thinks for a moment, "then maybe don't do that."

I huff through my nose, "sometimes I wish I was numb. I wish this hurt didn't faze me. I wish I just... was not."

Astarion turns to the orange in his hand. He splits it with his thumbs. He then takes my hand and places it there.

His touch lingers. It remains long enough that I turn down and watch his fingers rub my skin. I clutch the orange and look up at him.

He pulls away. His lips part to speak, but I beat him to it.

"But then I remember pain makes gentle touches all the more tender," I press my lips into a soft smile.

I look at the orange in my hand, two segments still connected into one. I split them in half.

The action draws out a memory, a time that feels distant to the present. I recall sharing orange segments, apple slices, grapes, watermelon, and peaches. There were no words spoken in the memory, there was no other sound save for the ambience, but there was an apparent ease, an air of comfort between us.

The person in my memory had no face, just a blur of a smile as they reached out to hand me fruit. Still, the memory brought me peace, the memory takes away from the pain I was feeling.

Astarion recognizes this.

I raise the orange slice by his face. I stuff the other in my mouth and lick the juice on my lips.

Astarion turns to the citrus, then slowly lifts his eyes up to mine. He takes the orange into his mouth.

A mix of sweet, sour, and bitter swarm his tongue as he chews. He is surprised he enjoys it as much as he does.

Another ripple of pain courses through me. Astarion scoots over and wordlessly offers his shoulder. I lean on him and ride out the pain in silence.

[aonungyoufuck]

Runaway {pt 2}

Parts: One , Three

Synopsis: Small Family moment with your Brothers. Ao’nung confesses why he stayed. Ao’nung hissing at his mom 

“Sister. I bring you my hunt today” Lo’ak said barging in as if you hadn’t been asleep. 

Groaning, you rubbed your head as you sat up. “Eywa, Lo’ak you could have at least made noise just so i wake up normally”

“Sorry” 

You could see Neteyam come up behind him and smacked him. 

“You’ll be happy to know Everything is well in the family. Cant say Lo’ak hasn’t gotten into a few scuffles here and there however”

“ I have not!”

“Of course he did”

Neteyam nodded. He had always been able to confide with you as you two both had the same responsibility to look after your youngers. “I am guilty of it too tho. Had to make sure this Skxawng didn't get lost as sea as well” 

“Translation: He wanted to have fun” Lo’ak Said slicing the fish he had Brought to you

You could only roll your eyes as you took a bit of the fruit that had been left there. 

“I heard Ronal isn’t at all too pleased to know Ao’nung stayed here last night” Neteyam said

“HE STAYED HERE? AT NIGHT? WITH YOU?”

“Oh please I was asleep. Apparently the fool slept sitting” you spoke watching Lo’ak prepare your food. Luckily enough he was getting better and better. Perhaps your mother taught him a thing or two. “However, I am going to ask Ronal if she could Teach me. Not train me per say but hopefully something so i can repay her kindness. I mean once this baby is born its really just Tsireya. I would like to help her, you know?” 

“Hmm Maybe. If Ronal would allow you such” Neteyam said Splitting the food to you three. 

“Where’s The rest of the family?”

“Mom is preparing some food for Kiri and Tuk. I think Dad’s still Out with Tonowari? I dont know for what really tho so i cant really say” Neteyam spoke handing you bits and pieces of the fish and fruit.

It made you smile, and roll your eyes. You weren’t a child but it was nice of him to know he still cared for you as such. Even tho you werent at all that much younger than him. 

“I see” You nodded as you continued to eat. You should give Lo’ak credit for the meat being prepared well. 

“Its nice all of us. Eating like this” 

“Yeah cause we don't eat” You spoke feeling a hard slap to your side. “LO’AK?”

“You know what i mean okay”

“Lo’ak do not hurt our sister. Cant you see she is on her deathbed” 

“You both are the worst you know? It would be you dead if i hadn’t stepped in you know?” 

It was just this for a while. You didnt count the seconds that passed. You just basked in it. But soon they had to leave. You bid them farewell and to tell the rest of the family to enjoy their night. As you sat there. Waiting. And it hadn’t been long till you heard the jostling of beads at the door. 

“You may come in” 

To no one's surprise but maybe Ao’nung himself. He stepped in. “Mother brought this” he spoke, handing you the bowl of very still Wet Algae along with some roots that had been boiled alongside it. “Its suppose to help with any internal pain you may feel"

“Thank you” If it was bitter tasting well you didnt have to let him know. “ i heard you got one nasty cramp on your back since you stayed here last night”

“Well you heard wrong”

“Ao’nung. I saw you” You said giggling a bit to see his ears flatten. 

“Alright well what do you want me to do? You were basically giving me your last words last night. Cant exactly sleep knowing id be blamed for leaving you alone”  He said moving the mess your brother’s didnt exactly clean up. 

“Im sorry i left you on such a bad note” You apologized. Drinking the last bit of the bland broth and chewing on the roots. 

“Man. Your Brothers suck at cleaning you know?” 

“They tried their best” You could only chew harder. The question is harboring in your mind “may i ask you something?”

“You already did.  But go on” Ao’nung sat in front of you. 

“Do you think, I could ask your mother to teach me some stuff? Not Tsahik training or anything of that sort. But just to help her when your sibling is born?”

“I mean i dont think she’ll like it all too much. But she's a reasonable woman. So i know she'll teach you if you ask” Ao’nung took your fruit bowl from you and began eating “But you are the most Reasonable from your siblings too. Given you haven’t gotten into fights and you have learned our ways faster than your siblings. Well aside your sister” 

“ i guess you’re right, Maybe i did more good in not joining in on kicking your ass”

“Pff. You think you can beat me?”

“In anything Fish lips”

Ao’nung couldn't help but laugh. Making you smile as you watched. 

“I think this is the first time i heard you laugh like that. Its nice” you smiled at him looking at the floor as you felt your hair fall down. 

“Was the way i laughed before ugly or something?”

“Way to ruin the moment” you laughed a little rubbing your temple. “I meant in a sense where you aren't laughing out of mocking someone y'know?”

“Oh”

“Yeah oh” You Were getting tired. The food and the pain numbing as you laid down. “Now if you may. You better get going before your mother gets mad for you staying here again” you didn’t wait for a respond. Not that you could hold the sleep coming to you

But Ao’nung didnt move. His spear now at his side as he sat between your sleeping form and the only entrance to this place. He didn't know why. But something in him told him to just protect you while you were in this vulnerable state. 

He thought himself crazy. Why was he so persistent on caring for you? Why did he agree with his mother? Why wasn’t he bothered? But seeing you just lay there made him think. Made him fall back on seeing your body heave and wheeze with the pain of having an open wound. You were nearly dead. You almost died. It did not only affect Tsireya but himself too. 

He just kept watch grip tightening when he heard the faintest of noise. Tail laying atop of you making sure you kept breathing. Letting out a low hiss when he saw the curtain open. But quickly dropping his ears. 

“Ao’nung! Its time you head home” His mother spoke. Stern and cold. Looking down at you as you didnt stir. 

“But”

“No, I will not argue this. You are to go home and she will be sleeping here tonight alone. You can see her again tomorrow evening. I dont know why you want to but you can then. For now go home and head to bed” She ordered leaving no room to argue. 

She watched as he bit back his tongue. Standing up spear in hand as he walked out. Ronal only turned to look at you. Placing the wet paste on top of the sheer wraps around you. “ I dont get what this boy sees in protecting you. You are safe and alive. It should be enough” She muttered out. 

“Nete..yam” 

She looked at you. Your worried expression trembled as your hand shook and moved slightly, reaching out. She could only sigh in exhaustion. ‘Soon’ she thought as she had to think. She would rather swallow her pride than let Neytiri help her as she had offered for helping her children. But realistically what other option was there, she thought. 

“Hush now. You are well as is he” she could only whisper as if to ease your worried mind. Eywa had saved you, and that should be enough.

[apocalypticvalraven]

Dungeon Daidokoro- Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen #2

(Daidokoro is kitchen in Japanese)

Ok, so the last one got 90-ish notes. Close enough.

I am going to open this one with a request for tips and donations if you like my work. I'm looking at, like, $350 to get my car re-registered because of DMV bullshit that I can't really fix. I have some money, but if people could help with this, I'd be eternally grateful.

So, please, if you can, if you like my work with this, my cashapp is $ValravenApocalypse, my paypal is paypal.me/korbl, my Venmo is @ Valraven. Anything would be a big help.

Man-Eating Plant Tart

In chapter two, Team Laios ventures into the second layer of the dungeon, a large apparently open-air space full of trees and lush foliage. The first meal they eat here is a tart made of man-eating plant fruit.

Which is a difficulty here.

First, there are no man-eating plants. Obviously. Like, we're not even dealing with something like "there aren't giant scorpions (but there are large crustaceans)" or "there aren't walking mushrooms (but there are big mushrooms)." This is just... this thing doesn't exist. There are carnivorous plants, but they're rather small and, to my knowledge, don't really fruit.

There are giant (non-tree) plants, but, to my knowledge, they also don't fruit, and they tend to be in the realm of "pollinated by carrion insects, so they smell like rotten meat." So, even if that giant flower that smells like corpses has fruit, I doubt anyone would want to eat it.

But, let's start by looking at the recipe-

So, to start with, you need some leftover "scorpion hotpot." Which is to say Lobster Portabello Soup, and some Slime Gelatin--which is maybe jellyfish, but I don't think you can really get anything like gelatin from a jellyfish (at least that you'd want to eat), so we're probably looking at agar agar (a gelatin-like substance from seaweed).

Baraselia, Mearauk, Betahn

It's difficult to really figure out similar real fruits to these. In fact, it's not even particularly clear which fruit is which in the manga. But, I did find Ingredients on the wiki, which makes it more clear-

(minor transliteration differences aside)

Baraselia is interesting, its seeds seem similar, broadly, to a pepper's, and led me to initially think it might be basically a bell pepper-

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that a bell pepper's flesh wouldn't stand up to heat the way the baraselia's does

On further thought, I think the baraselia is a bit more like a squash. Thinking about it, pumpkin seeds also cling pretty tight to the stem, but I don't think the baraselia is a pumpkin exactly.

I think a Cassabanana is probably pretty close-

And, while I'm completely unfamiliar with this plant, I saw notes online that the unripe fruits can be cooked like a vegetable. So, I think cassabanana is probably a good candidate for "Baraselia."

I think the betan is the chopped fruit that gets mixed in. It's an interesting looking fruit, particularly in the anime-

It has a vaguely chili-like appearance, which it could well be, but I'm also struck by the visual similarity of the inner nodes of jackfruit-

Jackfruit is noted for it's "meaty" texture, and is used in several savory dishes. I think jackfruit is probably a very good candidate for a Betan stand-in.

Which leaves Mereoak/Mearauk-

Honestly, they look a lot like cherries or tomatoes, and tomatoes used in savory tarts are just, like, a thing. I think you could very well use a mix of cherries and cherry tomatoes for mereoak.

"Man-Eating Plant" Fruit Tart

~7 oz Leftover "Scorpion Soup

~3 oz Agar Agar or Gelatin

~1 lb unripe Cassabanana

~10 oz jackfruit, roughly chopped

5-6 cherry tomatoes, 3-4 cherries

Salt to taste

Dash of pepper

Lightly steam the fruits and let cool until you can safely handle them. Cut open the cassabanana and remove the seeds, then the skin from the flesh. Mold the skin into a shell for your tart, outside against the plate.

Mash the cassabana flesh, and add the gelatine and soup, stir until slightly thickened. Taste, adding salt and pepper as needed. Add the chopped jackfruit and the rest of the soup, stir till well combined and pour into tart shell.

Put in oven at 400 degrees. Check for setness at 15 minutes, and give an additional 5 minutes if needed.

Remove once set, let cool slightly, serve.

[nethhiri]

Siren Charms: Chapter 7

Zoro x Siren!Reader

Warnings: sexual themes, blood

Pantyless

Luffy requested that you let Chopper tend your wound before you did anything else. You waited impatiently on the little cot you had woken up in. There were hushed voice outside the door. Yet your ultra-sharp senses could still hear.

A high pitched voice that sounded scared started, "C-can you come in with me? I saw her teeth when I examined her and they're s-so sharp. What if she decides to e-eat me?" 

"Luffy said she won't." Your ears perked up at the second voice, which you recognized as your green snack.

"Please, Zoro."

"If Luffy says she won't, she won't." He sighed. "But I'll be right outside the door, okay?"

There was a sharp knock before Chopper entered the room. Curiously, the doctor was a little deer. You consciously made your teeth and eyes as close to human as possible. People were very unnerved when they saw your yellow irises and slitted pupils. And they were very uneasy if they caught sight of your elongated canines. Your eyebrow quirked up. This was the one that smelled like an animal but also somewhat human, and of devil fruit. His hooves made soft clopping noises as he walked over to stand in front of you.

"Hi, I'm Ch-chopper and I've been taking care of you."

"Hi, Chopper. You're a deer? But you smell human, too?" Your head tilted with curiosity. 

He visibly brightened. "No one ever calls me a deer on the first try." He blushed, "I always get mistaken for a raccoon."

"That's stupid. You're clearly a deer."

He looked closely at your wound before running off to get a salve from the counter. "I smell human because I ate the Human-Human fruit." He handed it to you. "Just keep putting this on it and you'll be fine." 

That explained both smells. "Thank you." You did your best to smile at him without showing too much of your teeth. "I'm not gonna eat you."

Chopper rubbed his antlers. "Oh? You heard that? I'm sorry."

You nodded. "Devil fruit users don't taste good. And animals don't do enough for me." 

Somehow that was not fully reassuring. To him, maybe, but in general, not really. "You're all done here."

You dipped your head and left. As soon as you stepped over the threshold, his smell hit you, the green one, Zoro. You froze. He was leaning near the doorway, seemingly asleep, though his heart rate told you he was still awake. The instincts within you were screaming at you to pounce on him and rip his throat out. Bloodlust creeped in. It was apparent that you needed to feed soon or it would completely overtake you. Every fiber in your body wanted you to pin Zoro down and sink your teeth deep in his flesh. No! You shook your head. It was forbidden. The namegiver assigned you 2 rules: Do not feed from the crew (unless they agree) and do not use The Voice on them. You would not disobey him. 

In your culture, it was your mentor who gave you a name. As soon as you were old enough to form attachments, you were handed over from your parent to a different siren, and they would become your mentor, to teach you how to hunt and survive. They gave you a new name, reflective of your skills or personality, to replace the temporary one given by your parent and when you were deemed ready, they released you to the world. This name giving served to sever any bonds between you and your parent. As for bonds with your mentor, they always treated you coldly enough that they never developed in the first place. You obeyed them without question or you would face harsh consequences. Sirens, though lonesome, were protected this way. They were spread so far and wide, save for the times they gathered to swap offspring, that no single event could wipe them out. 

It wasn't quite the same, but by naming you, Luffy inadvertently sealed your loyalty to him. It didn't sever your bond with your siren identity, yet you felt like this was your pod now. Namegivers were to be respected and obeyed, which is the only reason you could restrain yourself in this moment. You had been conditioned this way. So as much as you wanted to devour the man two feet away from you, you would have to convince him instead to offer himself up to you to get a taste. You pulled yourself from the trance, looking for somewhere to sit alone until you could dispel the hunger. 

Zoro sensed the bloodlust rolling off you. He didn't miss the way your hands balled into fists and how you had to swallow more frequently because of how much you were salivating. He didn't know what you were or what kind of devil fruit you had, but he knew you were dangerous. The trust of the crew, him especially, was not bought cheaply. He watched you shake your head and walk away, seemingly overcoming your animalistic urges. 

You sat near the bow on top of a crate, letting the salty sea air clear your senses. Being upwind, you didn't smell his approach, though you could tell someone was behind you. You turned, letting out a breath. It was the skeleton. No flesh to entice you. 

"Excuse me, Miss. I don't believe we've met. I'm Brook." He held out his hand for you to shake. You shook it, at least you knew some human customs. 

"I'm of the ether. I mean Ether." 

"Nice to meet you Ether of the ether." He paused, getting serious. "Now I have an extremely important question for you. This could make or break our friendship. May I please see your panties?" 

"Oh." You frowned, looking a little sad. Does this mean he wasn't going to be your friend? You didn't wear panties. They would be destroyed every time you formed a tail. "I'm sorry." Brook looked forlorn. "I don't wear any." You lifted the fabric of your skirt enough to see there was a lack of fabric underneath, but your knees were together so there wasn't much else to see.

The skeleton's face lit up. "Oh my. We're going to be best friends, indeed!" 

At about the same time, you could smell blood suddenly. You looked to see a pair of legs in black pants splayed on the ground behind a nearby barrel. You rushed over to investigate, and, more importantly, maybe get a little sample. It was the blond one, passed out with a nosebleed. If the blood is outside the body already it doesn't count as feeding. With your thumb, you wiped the blood from his face and licked it from your hand. If you were allowed to use your voice, you could make him wake up. You leaned over him and slapped his face. "Hey." He opened his eyes, but almost immediately gushed blood again and passed out. Your barely hidden breasts happened to be dangling quite close to him. You swiped that blood away, too, and licked it. You looked around for help, "Your friend is leaking! Someone!" 

The dark haired woman approached, "I can see why." Robin saw how close you were to him and offered you a hand. "Come with me. He'll be fine." 

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's got a brain-eating amoeba and every time it eats, blood leaks from his nose!" The long-nosed one piped up as he came to investigate. 

"Poor thing." You mused. So that was why he was so easy to manipulate. Robin laughed at your comment but didn't elaborate. 

"Brain-eating amoeba called lust maybe," Name muttered under her breath. 

[the-fandom-queenxox]

Blaming @sincerely-nines for letting the demons out

Here is the minecraft food update ideas that have been plaguing me fo a very long time:

(Also I know most of what I am about to list off are in many minecraft mods, you don't have to tell me about them, I just wanna yap about things)

(Also also I mainly talked about food we could have with the already existing edible minecraft items)

-First of all WHY DON'T WE HAVE APPLE PIE IN MINECRAFT!!! WE HAVE PUMPKIN PIE SURE BUT WE DESERVE APPLE PIE TOO!! Oh and also golden/enchanted golden apple pie... cause I think it would be funny and I want it

-Continuing the pie train sweet berry pie, glow berry pie, shepherd's pie(we have enough meat options to make it), chicken pot pie and also just learned about this one, fish pie

-Speaking of fish, sushi. "Oh bUt FAndOm yOU neEd riCe AnD SeAwEEd To mAKe sUsHI" no you don't, there are many recipes of sushi without rice in them and you can use the dried kelp as a substitute to seawed

-But also yeah they should add rice too

-Squids, we should be able to eat the squids... both of them(and yes you would get the glow effect if you ate the glow squid)

-Getting back on the pie train for a second for the actual last pie for the list(unless I forgot any that could be made via the limited items we have in minecraft), chorus fruit pie, cause it's funny to think about

-Carrot cake, chocolate cake or even better brownies, sweet berry cake and glow berry cake

-Sugar cookies

-Cheese!!! Which they made cheese in one of the april fools updates, so they infact can code this in, but I want it in a specific way, it is the height of a half slab and it is eaten like a cake... and maybe also cream, butter, yogurt or frosting even, since the one cake we do have seems to already have something like that on the sprite on it... also I think it would be funny if you crafted a whole stick of butter and eat it infront of your friends

-Speaking of "april fools updates" sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes

-Chocolate, just regular chocolate

-Add on from the last point hot chocolate

-French toast, we have all the ingredients for this why can't we have it?!

-Maybe some egg dishes? Like fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs...

-Oh it just came to me, eggs benedict! Just replace the english muffin with regular bread, which probably make it count as a sandwich now that I think about it... they should also add sandwiches...

-Maybe also some more dishes with mushrooms? Even though I don't lkke mushrooms irl it's kinda weird to only have one food item with them in it

-I also wouldn't mind if they made more stews or soup

-Puddings! More specifically bread pudding and chocolate pudding

-Caramel

-A lot of trees are actually very safe to eat the bark and seeds of

-Sunflower seeds

-Also apparently if you boil it, you can eat bamboo as well and we have that in minecraft so we should eat it

-Many types of juices!! Some short examples would be carrot juice, melon juice, beetroot juice... etc.

-Kinda going off topic with this one, but I wanna gnaw on the bones we get from the skeletons, mojang let me eat the bones!!! You can make it so if you eat one it gives nausea cause it is actually unhealthy to eat bone as is and can make you seriously sick, but I wanna be a rabid fucking animal damn it and scare off the hoes. Side note here but you can also eat bonemeal and be okay to do so, so yeah that is also an option

Aaannd that's all of them for me, but if any of you have some ideas on what else to add do let me know, I probably missed alot of things

[gatitties]

"Owing its speed to his metobolism, the user can quickly process poisons and alcohol before their affects can damage the body, making them immune to such attacks. The speed fruit enables all parts of the body to become faster and strong, including metabolism. As such, the user's body can become starved of energy to the point of near death if they overused it, allowing the user to have a bigger appetite than other members of the crew." Imagine Luffy and male! reader participating in an eating competition tho? (Btw love your works 🥰)

─Strawhats x male!reader (Platonic)

─Summary: Your devil fruit gives you a huge appetite, but it seems you'll always get second place.

─Warnings: none

Part one / Part two

jdshaj this is so cute I can see they totally doing that every time they can, both could leave an entire village without food 😭🤚

"Ready… set… let the competition begin!"

The announcer started the little festivity on that island where you stopped, a festivity in which both you and Luffy signed up because it was nothing more than a competition to see who could devour the most food.

You fought hard against your captain, the other contestants gave up pretty quickly, but your pride took a beating, you weren't able to beat Luffy in one of these competitions, at least, not the vast majority of the time.

Yes, your fast metabolism makes you have an increased appetite, but not enough to win it, however, you were able to beat it only once, although it was after a fight in which you racked your brains because you did not stop running all day, you almost died from overusing your power, but that was the only time you could beat him.

"I… I give up!"

Your body collided so abruptly with the back of the chair that you fell directly on the floor, your arms and legs spread out like you were a sunbathing starfish, your chest rising and falling rapidly from the speed at which you ate. Luffy smiled proudly, still eating, he reached out to lift you up, you nodded as a thanks, albeit with a slight frown in defeat.

Since you had nothing to do here, because Luffy continued to eat even after winning, you decided to continue exploring the surroundings a bit more, the different stalls that the festival offered, small games, a lot of symbolic souvenirs of the place, lots of traveling merchants looking for buyers. It didn't attract much attention to you and you just went to say hello to Robin who was looking at some books together with Chopper.

You didn't know where the others were, but it didn't take you long to find Sanji and Nami, the blond seemed very focused looking at the different ingredients that a vendor was displaying while she was engaged in a verbal fight with a guy who didn't seem to listen to the attempts to Nami's haggling, you decided to stay out of their business since both seemed busy, you definitely didn't want to end up listening to Sanji rambling about what to cook or embarrass yourself because of Nami being so loud when it came to buying things at a good price.

You met the rest in a bar and it looked like it could be your second attempt to beat someone from the team in a competition, you shared looks with Zoro after you sat down at the table where Usopp, Franky, Brook and he were, you both had seen the paper that was stuck on the wall, 'drink 50 beers without passing out and get a prize, if you don't make it you will have to pay'.

"Are we betting?"

"Hell yes, what are you waiting for, old man?"

He clucked at your behavior, calling for the bartender to bring a hundred beers, you split them up and Franky counted down for you to start drinking. You were a little younger than everyone on the boat, but old enough to drink alcohol, the bad thing is that apparently not enough to handle the bitter taste, thanks to your metabolism you managed to drink the fifty beers barely without them doing some kind of effect on you, though… not before Zoro.

"You have done well, but you will not be able to surpass me so easily."

"Just wait and see marimo!"

"Someone is spending a lot of time with Sanji…"

You narrowed your eyes at Usopp making him go back to his drink as if he hadn't said anything, again, completely defeated you shrank back in your seat savoring the second loss of the day, you didn't even care that you won the award for drinking all on time, you just wanted to wallow in your misery of being the eternal second in the team.

[maladaptiv3]

fruit loops (pt. 3)

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Content: Part 3 to you're not a kid anymore and i'm sorry; story about first meeting and first kiss

Warning: allusion to underage drinking

part 1

part 2

Word Count: 3,737

tag list: @blackbartlady-blog

SORRY it is late (by a year lol) and LONG

*original content by maladaptiv3* please do not repost my work

"Thoughts on Poe," you addressed your senior English class. Sometimes, pulling answers out of teenagers was a super long, uphill battle you could never seem to win. "Anyone."

Someone raised their hand. Thank god.

You gestured toward the student, "Morgan." Morgan opened her book to the reading from the night before and looked at it for a second, "He doesn't suck." 

"Okay, okay. That's a good start. Any more thoughts?" 

Jackson blurted out without raising his hand, "The dude's frickin' gnarly. I mean, he cut up some guy and hid his body parts under a floorboard."

"Well, yes. His character did, but Poe was not of sound body and mind, which is evident in most of his short stories. We are actually going to read—" You were cut off by a knock on your classroom door window. It was JJ. He smiled at you and waved, beckoning you over. You smiled back and mouthed to him, "Just a minute." You turned your attention back to your class, "Why don't you guys open up to page 72 and begin reading 'The Cask of Amontillado'?" It is one of my favorites. We will come together for first impressions right after I answer that knock." You knew for a fact your students were going to pretend to read the book in front of them while they eavesdropped on your conversation. They were always more interested in what was happening outside their classroom than in their books. You couldn't decide if it was an undying childlike tendency to be curious or if they were just snoopy teenagers. It was probably the latter…

You cracked the door open just enough to stand in the opening. JJ pressed a kiss to your cheek, and you could feel 30 pairs of teenage eyes boring into the back of your skull. You squeezed his hand in yours, "And to what do I owe this surprise?" He presented a bag from your favorite burrito place, "I brought lunch." You smiled, "How'd you get past Rhonda?" He smirked, "Rhonda loves me." "I've heard different." He scrunched his nose up, "I brought her lunch." You teased him, "You bribed her?" His jaw dropped, "I would never." You could hear your students getting antsy, "This is my last class, and then I have lunch and a prep period. Do you want to wait in the lounge?" He pushed the door open slightly and peered over your shoulder, "Can I wait in here?" You moved out of his way, "I guess so."

You cleared your throat, "Class, we have a visitor. This is—" You were interrupted by one of the students in your class, "That's JJ Maybank." You nodded, "Yes, it is. How do you know that?" "He's a local legend. There are pictures of him and the others in several trophy cases." JJ looked pleased with himself; he still secretly loved it when people knew who he was. You took a seat on top of your desk, "He's just going to listen for the rest of class. So, first impressions? Any questions?" 

A few hands shot up; you chose Macy, "Thoughts?" Macy responded quickly, "How do you know JJ Maybank?" You knew JJ was eating this up, "I meant about the reading. Anyone else?" You called on Eddie, "Okay, Eddie, what are your thoughts?" Eddie shifted in his seat, leaning more toward the front of the classroom, "Are you going to answer Macy's question? Did you know JJ when he found the treasure?" It was quickly becoming apparent that Poe would not be the topic of discussion for the rest of the period. You gave into their inquiries, "Okay, let's table Poe until Thursday. Guys, JJ is my fiancé. Why else would I have pictures of us on my board?" Jackson blurted out again, "We didn't know you were cool enough to be with JJ Maybank." Man, teenagers are brutal. You laughed a bit in disbelief, "Ha ha. You guys are funny." JJ chimed in, "She is much cooler than me." You smiled in J's direction and then gestured to the class, "We have about half an hour of class left. How about I let you guys pick JJ's brain a bit? How does that sound?" A choir of yesses, yeahs, and awesomes rang through your classroom. You were kind of thankful JJ showed up, the students deserved a nice break and learning about lost treasure is still educational, right? 

JJ clapped his hands and rubbed them together, "Allllriiiight, who's first?" You were slightly offended at how many hands shot into the air. JJ squinted at your students, trying to decide which would embarrass you first. He pointed at the girl in the back, "What is it like to live off your riches?" JJ laughed, "I still work for a living; I opened a garage." Chad, with the snapback, chimed in, "Why would you do that?" JJ carefully considered his answer, "The gold wasn't about getting rich and doing nothing for the rest of my life. It was about living my dream." A small smile spread across your face, and JJ looked at you, waiting for a nod of approval. You checked the time, "Okay, guys, we only have about 15 minutes left before lunch. So two more questions and make them good."

JJ peered back at your students, "Okay, right here in front with the glasses." Jessica looked like she had been snapped out of her daydream and softly pointed back at herself, "Me?" JJ shook his head yes. She practically gushed, "How long have you guys been together? Are you guys high school sweethearts?" JJ chuckled and added the years in his head, "No, we actually did not know each other at all in high school, but we have been together almost ten years, engaged for almost two. We met in college." Chad, with the snapback, chimed in again, "That is a loooong time not to be married and tied down." You shook your head, "Moving on. We have time for one more question." JJ wanted to choose wisely, so he decided on John B.'s cousin, "JJ, how did you meet in college if you didn't go to college?" He thought she was a wise choice. JJ snickered, "Ahh, you got me there. We met one weekend when I was visiting Pope. She was—" His sentence was interrupted by the bell. You propped open your door and shouted behind your students as they vacated your room, "Tomorrow, be ready to discuss 'The Cask of Amontillado.'" 

You closed the door, leaned against it, and sighed deeply. JJ stood before you when you opened your eyes, his hands planted firmly against your hips, closing the space between you. He kissed you, and you felt yourself melt against him. You laced your fingers into his messy blonde locks and tugged his head back to make eye contact. "Jayj, I'm at work." He rolled his eyes, "The door is locked." You shook your head, never breaking eye contact. You so desperately wanted to give in to him and blow off the rest of the day like you guys were teenagers again. You pushed your hands against his chest, "We're in a school, and I want you to finish your story." He turned on his heels, following you back to the counter in front of the window you liked to eat lunch on, "You tell the story so much better than I do." As he sat on the counter in your classroom, cross-legged, taking eager bites out of a burrito, the sun catching his tousled post-surf hair, you saw that eager and clumsy 18-year-old you that you fell in love with. Your mind transported you back to your college dorm room ten years ago…

You burst into Pope's room, "I cannot wait to meet your friends! Where's Cleo? I thought she would be in here. She wasn't back in our room." You met Pope through Cleo, your freshman-year roommate, and you guys quickly became inseparable, much to Pope's chagrin. He seemed startled by your sudden burst of energy. "She went to grab us coffee before our long night. She'll be right back." You plopped down on the bean bag chair in Pope's room, "She's so smart. I see why you're with her." You teased him. Pope rolled his eyes and sat down to type on his laptop, "Ha ha ha." You were eager to meet the rest of Pope and Cleo's crew. Pope and Cleo made them sound amazing, and you were excited to see how different they were from the stories you heard about them.

You scrolled through your phone, listening to whatever music was coming from Pope's laptop, anxiously awaiting caffeine. Cleo came through the door in just a few minutes carrying coffees for her and Pope and your hot tea. Cleo handed you your tea, "Hey girl, here ya go!" You tilted your head and thanked her, "Awww, you remembered my order. You really do love me." She hopped up on Pope's bed, "Are you still questioning that?" You giggled and shook your head no. Pope's phone chimed, "They're here. Let's go." You followed them out of the room and started heading back to yours. Cleo turned around, "Where are you going?" You shrugged, "I was going to let you guys have your reunion and catch up later." Cleo hooked her arm in yours, "Nonsense, let's go." 

The second you stepped out of the building, there were loud screams and cheering, like they hadn't seen each other in years. You couldn't help but be a little envious of how much they all loved each other; you envied that. Cleo saw you standing to the side, taking it all in. She reached her hand out, "Come here, girl. You got some people to meet." You smiled as Cleo introduced you to everyone. John B. hugged you, "Any friend of Cleo and Pope is a friend of ours." A blur of messy blonde hair barrelled into Pope, "I cannot believe you didn't reserve parking for us." Pope rolled his eyes, "I know, how could I forget?" You were nearly knocked over. The blonde grabbed your elbow so you didn't plummet into the concrete, "My bad, sorry." Your breath caught, "Oh, uhm. It's okay." The blonde smoothed his hands down the front of his thighs, "I'm JJ." You trembled; this was a new feeling, "Hi. I'm Pope and Cleo's friend." JJ smiled, "Hi." Your mouth couldn't conjure up any other words, "Hi." Pope cleared his throat, "Are you two finished? The movie starts soon, and I am starving." You fervently shook your head, "Mhm, yeah." 

You were quiet at dinner. You were taking it all in. Seeing the group interact was like watching one of those big, loud families you only see on TV. You were fascinated. You had wanted this your whole life, and it was sitting right before you. You guys paid the bill. Pope gathered everyone, kind of the unofficial dad of the group, "You guys ready for the movie on the quad?" You took a last sip of water, "Yeah, for sure, I just have to hit the bathroom real quick." Cleo and Sarah agreed, "Us too!" John B. groaned, "Do girls always go together?" Sarah flipped her hair behind her shoulder, "Duh. Let's go girls." 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, really hoping your nerves were only obvious to you and not anybody else. You took a deep breath and ran cool water over your wrists. Sarah came out of the stall to wash her hands and noticed your wrists in the water, "What's got you all hot and bothered?" Cleo was shaking her hands dry, "More like, who?" You patted your hands dry and pulled your lip balm out of your purse, "Is it that obvious?" Sarah shook her head and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, "Not to him, JJ is oblivious." Cleo laughed, "Yeah, use that to your advantage." You were confused, "How so?" Cleo opened the bathroom door, "You'll figure it out; I believe in you."

The university was showing Monsters University on the quad—original. Everyone took their seats on the giant blankets the university handed out and bundled up in the ones we brought. It was the part of summer right before fall when the nights got a little cool but not too cold that you couldn't be outside. JJ tapped you on the shoulder, "Is this seat taken?" You locked eyes, "Nope, all yours." He started out sitting a couple of feet from you, and you could feel the tension between you. You wondered if it was one-sided. JJ was leaning back on his elbows, "Have you seen this movie?" You shook your head, "No, have you?" He shook his head no. Oh, he's making small talk. The tension was definitely not one-sided. You guys talked about the weather and Pope's idiosyncracies, stupid things. You were just feeling each other out and seeing where the conversation was going. The movie started, and he moved closer to you so he didn't have to talk over the speakers. 

"Your dad owns all of those car dealerships, right?" You hated that question, "He does, yes." You were nervous about what he was going to say next. He locked eyes with you, "Is that why you're so quiet? You don't want people to realize who you are." You noticed him take his lip between his teeth. You swallowed hard, "Am I that transparent?" You guys had moved even closer together, "No, you're actually pretty hard to read. It's a little frustrating." Your jaw dropped, "Oh, I'm frustrating?" A cocky smile spread across JJ's lips, "Yeah, but I like it." Your fingertips had found each other, you were barely touching and it still felt electric, "Good." You two were leaning against a blow-up couch the university had set out. JJ's fingers were twirling the ends of your hair. You weren't even sure he knew he was doing it, but you were painfully aware of his contact with you. You broke the silence, "So what do you do?" He never broke eye contact except to flick his eyes to your lips and then back, "I surf." You laughed. JJ put his hand on top of yours, lacing your fingers together, "What do you do?" You looked around, gesturing to your surroundings, "I go to school." He playfully rolled his eyes, "Well, I knew that. But what do you study?" Right. You nodded, "I'm studying education." You two couldn't take your eyes off each other, and the rest of the group began to notice. You guys talked the entire movie.

John B. stretched his arms above his head and helped Sarah from the blanket. Sarah helped you fold the big blanket and kicked her foot out, using it to point at Pope, "So, what's next?" Pope and Cleo looked at each other for a second, quickly and quietly bouncing ideas off each other. Pope turned his attention to the rest of the group, "Downtown?" JJ had an excited look on his face, "I think we can get up to some trouble down there." John B. turned on his heels, "Away we go!" Cleo laughed, "Wrong way!" 

You and JJ walked slowly behind everyone. Your pinky fingers brushed against each other, but neither of you had the guts to link your fingers together. The cool air felt good against your chest, which got hotter every time your hand brushed JJ's or caught him looking at you. You weren't nervous; you just wanted to touch him. Hold his hand, run your fingers through his hair, grab onto his elbow—you never wanted to leave his orbit. You were brought back to the moment when John B.'s booming voice cut through the slight breeze, "Come on guys, keep up!" JJ rolled his eyes and shouted back, "She has short legs!" You scoffed, "Hey! I am not that short." JJ laughed and playfully nudged his shoulder against yours, "It's okay, you're in denial." 

You could see your building coming up in the distance. You didn't want to leave; you wanted to go out with them, but you had a midterm you needed to study for. Your door came far too quickly, and you stopped in your tracks, "I have to bow out here." JJ, "What? Why? Is everything okay?" You smiled at his concern, "Yeah, I'm fine. I have a midterm I need to study for." The group kept walking without you guys but slowed down just enough so they weren't super far ahead of the two of you. JJ was still ghosting his fingertips over yours, "Can I tempt you with just one drink?" You wanted to shout yes from the rooftops. You smiled at his attempt to persuade you, "I can't. I'll see you guys in the morning, though." Pope's voice was quiet in the distance, "You guys coming?" You both looked at him. JJ shook his head yes and gave him the one-minute signal. You licked your bottom lip and noticed JJ doing the same. You wondered if he was going to kiss you. He took your hand in his and squeezed it, "Promise me you'll come to breakfast with us?" You squeezed his hand back, "I promise." You turned to go into the building, but he didn't release your hand until you were almost through the doors. 

You had spent the last few hours staring at page after page on childhood development, and you were convinced your eyelids would stick shut the next time you blinked. You knew that reading the same stuff over and over again wouldn't make any difference. At this point, you knew what you knew and would do just fine on your midterms. You shoved your books and laptop in your back and began to trudge home. Even though it was early two in the morning, the campus was still crawling with students going home from a night out or hollering on their way to their next party. The night was cool outside and dark enough to see the stars. You were slowly making your way back to your dorm, enjoying the cool breeze and occasional commotion from across the quad. The giant lights that lined the pathways made your eyes sting, and you couldn't wait to put on your sleep mask and crawl into your warm bed. 

A familiar-looking silhouette and mop of blonde hair caught your eye as you neared the dining hall, "JJ?" He spun around, almost falling, "Oh my god! You're here!" You laughed a little at his drunken stupor, "Yeah, I am. What are you doing out here? Where is everyone else?" He cleared his throat, "Ohhh uhhh, I decided I was ready to get O U T out of there and get some cereal. Do they have cereal in there?" He pointed at the dining hall doors. You shook your head yes, "Uhuh. And they're open late this weekend." JJ had a huge smile plastered on his face, "Do they have those little rainbow circles that taste like fruit in there?" You were amused, "Fruit Loops?" He gasped, "Fruit Loops!" You scanned yourself and JJ into the dining hall, "Let's get you some Fruit Loops." JJ followed you like a puppy to the cereal bar. You grabbed two bowls and two spoons, "What kind of cereal should I get?" JJ put his hand on his hip and popped it out, "Fruit Loops." He did not have to do much to convince you, "Fruit Loops it is." You filled two bowls with fruit loops and milk. JJ reached out to grab the bowls, "Allow me." He was still unsteady on his feet. You pulled the bowls back towards you, "I like my Fruit Loops in my bowl. How about I let you choose where we sit?" He humphed in playful defeat, "Fine." 

He chose one of the hall's few booths along the back wall. You set the bowls down and began sliding into the side opposite him. He protested, "No, no, no. Come sit next to me." JJ was comfortable with a few drinks in him. You gulped, slightly nervous, and slid in next to him. He was giggly, and you could feel the heat in your cheeks. You weren't even sure what the two of you were laughing at, but it must have been hilarious. Apparently, your bowl of Fruit Loops and JJ's giggly state gave you a boost of confidence and you reached out to brush JJ's hair off his forehead. It was soft, and you wanted to run your fingers through it. The air between the two of you was silent, and the tension was high. You tried to steady your breathing, and you thought you would hyperventilate. JJ returned the favor and pushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. He licked his lips. He ran his thumb down your cheek and traced just under your bottom lip. He spoke, almost so quietly you thought you imagined it, "Can I kiss you?" "Please." He was gentle at first, barely connecting your lips. You guys parted and looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. He kissed you again like he meant it. It was deep, and you never wanted it to end. You moved closer to each other, if that was even possible. You wanted to stay in this moment forever. Your hands in the hair at the nape of his neck, his hands on both sides of your face. You guys fit together like two puzzle pieces. You broke the kiss. He scanned your face, "What's wrong?" You giggle, "You taste like Fruit Loops." He kissed the tip of your nose, "So do you." 

"Do you have any napkins in here?" "Babe, do you have any napkins?" You were brought out of your thoughts. "What?" JJ had salsa on the corner of his mouth. "Napkins?" You hopped off the counter. "Yeah, in my desk. Hold on." You grabbed a couple of napkins and wiped the side of his mouth. He grabbed your wrist and placed a kiss on the inside of it, "What were you thinking about?" You smiled fondly, "Nothing." He playfully rolled his eyes, "Come on, something had you deep in thought." You pushed up on your tip toes and kissed him on his cheek, "Can we have Fruit Loops for dinner?" He laughed, "Of course."

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt. 3 because I have no life :] (the link I used to generate these)

*obligatory "none of the shipping quotes are me actually shipping them"

AJ: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. AJ: Fruits that do live up to their names? AJ: Orange.

Sam: Yo dumbass, get over here. AJ: Okay- Luke: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming! AJ, sadly: I thought...I was dumbass...

Sam: Do you take constructive criticism? Tom: Not without crying.

Tom: Luke, take out the trash. Luke: Sure. Sam, will you go out on a date with me? Luke: *seductively takes off glasses* Luke: Wow... Sam: *blushes* Haha...what? Luke: You're really fucking blurry. AJ: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us. Tom: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this: Tom: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately." Tom: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? Tom: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us. Tom: I also want to softhack his circuits. Luke: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again. Tom: Here is my wall of inspirational people. AJ: Is that a picture of you? Tom: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Tom: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? Luke: Can't relate. AJ: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins? Sam: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Tom: What the hell!? Sam: Oh, sorry, my bad. Sam, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Tom, whispering: Of course. What do you need? Luke: I’m scared that when you become rich and famous you’ll be embarrassed by me. Tom: Oh Luke, I’m already embarrassed by you.

Luke: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Luke is such a nice person, Luke is so happy-go-lucky! Luke can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Luke CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Luke IS be in a bad mood. Luke: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable...and also assault with a deadly weapon. Tom, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Tom, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW! AJ: Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying. Tom: I feel like I can be myself around you. AJ: You’re weird and quiet around me. Tom: Yes. AJ: *Reading a letter* Tom: Well, what does it say? AJ: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Sam killed my pet rock. Luke: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

AJ: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Tom finally snaps and commits murder? Luke: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him. Sam: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles. Tom: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one? Sam: Seize the dick.

Luke: Watcha doin? Sam: Stealing my neighbour’s cat. Luke: Scandalous. Luke: Can I help?

AJ: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Sam: ...What??? Tom with a gun to Luke's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven? Luke: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Tom, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots. Luke, in line behind him: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

Luke: I’m this close to falling in love with Sam. Tom: Your fingertips are touching. Luke: Exactly.

Tom: You believe me? Luke: Tom, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

AJ: My head hurts. Sam: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity. Tom: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress. Tom: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed.

AJ: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Tom! Sam: How petty can you get? Luke: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about. Tom: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration. Luke: Are you okay? AJ: Did you actually just ask him that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know? AJ: *spins around in chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y- *chair continues to spin* shit *tries to stop spinning* shit *tries to grab a table to stop spinning* sHIT *falls out of chair* Luke: So, you’ve finally arrived- Luke: Here to save prince- Luke: I’ve been waiting for this day- Luke: Stop skipping my dialogue- Luke: Seriously, stop- Luke: MOTHER FU- Tom: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Luke: And I need you to be less vague and weird. Tom: Things will get better! The Squad: Tom: Okay, maybe they won’t. Tom: But they will be terrible in new and interesting ways!

Tom: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie* Sam: You can't just skip to the happy ending! Tom: I don't have time for their problems. Luke: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Sam: Tom annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. AJ: There is nothing special about tomorrow. Sam: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over. Tom: You know, Sam, when you generalize, you tell general...lies. Sam: ... Sam: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns. Luke: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Luke: Hey guys, what are your favorite kinds of pudding? Tom: Pudding deez nuts in your mouth? Is that what you were about to say? Do you gain joy from tricking your innocent cohorts? What if I actually wanted to tell you about my favorite pudding?

[mushroomnoodles]

this ask may sound fetishist but it ISNTT 💀💀💀 is just an ask about candy's body biology.

Can candy simon carry, idk sextuplets? and be alright? normal human body would struggle and have miscarriages or premature birth, also conditions like back pain or bad breathing in the mother. Would candy simon being just candy be able to experience the struggle of carrying or would he just do it normally?

do candy bodies have limits? like pregnancy it's taxing on the body –most when you pop baby after baby— judging by the fact that Betty and simon have like 7 children with apparently different ages, I'm gonna guess that is a maybe.

can candy simon experiment any miscarriage? maybe by a miscalculation of candy's witch beans idk.

this is a very good ask and i love these kinds of genuinely curious questions! makes me think. you're all good! tw/cw for non kink mpreg mentions and birth defect/miscarriage talk. also.. candy simon reproduction (since he's the only candy person even equipped to carry a child)

no, candy simon cannot carry sextuplets. that he would not survive. the way his body is now designed to work is to prioritize the growth of his unborn baby, which means his body uses its own sugars to grow the fetus. the most he could theoretically handle without some serious detriment to his health is triplets.

with, for example, quads, candy simon doesn't need to breathe, and he can't feel pain, but he would be extremely weak and low-energy, along with showing signs of malnourishment (and he would die, if candy witch didn't care for and monitor him closely. he would not be able to get up and feed himself.)

candy simon, as long as he is properly eating, can essentially go through pregnancy with minimal issues besides intense cravings (his body replacing the sugars) and mood swings. the weight of being pregnant is something he notices but it's a trivial issue that just makes it harder to manuever.

his organs are very simple (and don't entirely mirror a human's) and with each pregnancy candy witch keeps a close eye on his physical health. it helps that candy simon can just.. physically replace parts of himself with caramel. hell, it helps that candy simon is caramel- he's very sturdy and resilient, and easily mended. candy simon could get squashed and be fine.

like i said, his main (and pretty much only) danger is.. well.. giving too much of himself to his fetus. malnourishing himself.

candy simon's children are all at least a few years apart, and in between children candy simon is given enough time to physically recuperate (not that he needs much) he can keep going as long as he's healthy and in one piece.

and yes, candy simon can experience a miscarriage, but only by defect of candy witch's jelly beans. when eaten by a candy person, they're meant to sort of burrow through and "take root" in a place to grow. for candy simon, who is specifically now built for this, the bean will take root in his. er. candy womb, where it will begin taking sugars and other minerals needed to become a candy person.

if the jelly bean isn't produced properly or is "off," one of three things could happen:

the bean acts as a normal jelly bean and never "fruits"

the bean ceases growth shortly after implanting and is reabsorbed into his body

the bean continues development but creates a candy kid with defects/deformities

if, for some reason, his body did not absorb a partially grown, but failed, jelly bean, candy witch would remove it. she keeps tabs on his body once he eats a bean, so she knows if something's gone wrong with the pregnancy.

[aneurinallday]

The Tale Of When Aneurinallday Had Pneumonia That One Time

In March, my sibling took me to a concert and I got a bad "cold". I thought I was getting better when the fever, nausea, and other cold symptoms stopped, but the cough just would not go away :>

I literally couldn't sleep because of the non-stop coughing which got worse when I lay down. I even tried sleeping while sitting up and leaning forward, but it didn't work.

I had no appetite, and couldn't eat anything except some yoghurt and puréed fruit. I had zero energy, and I got exhausted just going up the stairs. I was 100% miserable. After 10 days my fam was like, right, this ain't no cold, you're Sick with a capital S.

So in the morning I went to the GP, and as soon as I stepped in the GP office, he was like "well, I can hear what the problem is" because I was wheezing. And he did the stethoscope, and told me I had pneumonia and my lungs were absolutely full of phlegm.

I was kinda scared, because my mum once knew someone who knew someone who died from pneumonia, so I wondered if I was going to die :<

So he sent me straight to the hospital (the directions were bad and I had to walk all the way around for 20 mins while wheezing)!and they put me on an oxygen tank and gave me antibiotics and stuff.

They took 3 or 4 different blood samples, AND THEN LOST THEM, so they had to take the blood samples again. I did a chest X-ray too. But there were no beds available, so I had to wait hours for a bed.

First they put me in the lung ward (I think) which was full of elderly people. The old lady in the bed next to me was straight-up dying and I had to pretend I couldn't hear her family crying and saying goodbye. It was very awkward and upsetting so I put my earphones in and listened to music. But I don't know when she actually passed away, because that night I got taken to a different ward, where I stayed.

Things I didn't like about being in hospital:

being an ill person

being surrounded by other ill persons

constant noise, it was very loud at all hours because of all the beeping and suffering

icky bad food

very tedious - I was too tired to read books or watch TV, so I just rested all day and listened to music in my earphones

my bed didn't have any curtains and it took several days for them to put curtains up so I could finally get changed

I couldn't shower because of my tubes and plasters and stuff

my oxygen tube wasn't long enough to reach the bathroom, so I had to carry my oxygen tank with me to the bathroom

I had BIG injections of antibiotics three times a day, so my hand and arm developed bruises from being jabbed all the time

I kept having nosebleeds because the oxygen made my nose so dry

Things I liked about being in hospital:

All the nurses were really nice and took good care of me

They gave me ICE CREAM EVERY DAY!!

Being wheeled around the hospital in a wheelchair. It was like being on a very slow ride.

Also, apparently the fact that I had pneumonia in BOTH lungs was so fascinating and interesting, that they actually brought in some medical students to examine me and ask me questions. They even asked my permission to look at my chest X-rays. So that was cool?? I guess???

Then one day the doctor was like "well you are not recovered yet, but if you stay in hospital there is too much risk of you catching covid or something from the other patients, so it's best that you go home" so I got sent home.

And after a few weeks I went back for another chest X-ray and they said Yay you are healed :>

The End

Oh and then my family got sick immediately after, and we all missed my uncle's funeral :<

[anticomedygarden]

how do they feel about the idea that the tomato is a fruit?

Tbh any hoo character that comes to mind strongest but if you need a specific idea I choose Hazel

I love this prompt! tysm 😍

y'all I did research on this one

-

Hazel had never given much thought to the tomato debate. They weren't her favorite to begin with, but she also just didn't have much opportunity to be around them. Growing up Black in the South in the Depression between two world wars with a mother only willing to spend her money on the finest of fineries didn't leave much room for tomatoes. Living in Alaska during wartime? Hell, no. She preferred to leave produce arguments to farmers, anyways.

Until she became a praetor.

"It's a vegetable!" a red faced son of Apollo, Thomas, yelled, standing guard in front of the Tiber.

"It's a fruit!" the brown haired daughter of Ceres screamed back. Hazel thought her name might be Molly.

Both teens were completely decked out in armor and weapons having come off guard patrol a few minutes ago, already fuming over the red food, long enough for Bailey, Camp Jupiter's newest recruit, to come get Hazel. She had been slogging away at a stack of paperwork, so she wasn't complaining.

By the time they'd returned to Thomas and Molly, the argument had escalated to a full on stand off.

The son of Apollo raised his spear. "Vegetable!"

The daughter of Ceres gripped her sword. "Fruit!"

"Okay!" Hazel said, finally stepping forward, her own gladius held out in front of her. "What is going on?" There was not a world or time Hazel thought she would ever exist in in which two people could have such strong opinions on tomatoes.

Unfortunately, that world and time did exist, and she was currently standing in it. Both Thomas and Molly erupted into bitter accusations, voices pitched so high Hazel had no hope of understanding them.

She closed her eyes and thought of a simpler, quieter time, years away from this weird tomato hell. Sadly, when she opened her eyes, she wasn't ethereal.

"One at a time," she said.

Thomas waved a hand at Molly, apparently ceding first speaker rights. She took a deep breath and began, "We were doing guard duty and somehow got on the topic of food, and he-" she pointed "-said tomato is a vegetable. Obviously, that's wrong, which I told him, and he went insane."

"I did not 'go insane,'" Thomas said, putting air quotes around 'go insane.' "I explained why tomatoes are a vegetable, and she told me to 'stop being stupid, stupid.'"

Now, Hazel was a reasonable young demigod. She knew that in matters of agriculture, she should trust the child of Ceres. She also knew that these two in particular had been getting into a lot of fights lately despite having been close friends for a while. That meant either something had happened between them or it was the teenage version of hair pulling. However, since it seemed that Molly had said the inciting line this time (and Hazel kinda wanted to see where this was going now), she couldn't in good faith just declare that Molly was right.

Hazel calmly turned to Molly. "Molly, why do you think tomatoes are a fruit?"

The other girl crossed her arms. "'Cause they are."

"Ha!" Thomas exclaimed. "She can't come up with anything."

Before Hazel could give him a thorough admonishing, Molly smirked. "Oh, I can come up with plenty, but I wouldn't want to make you look stupid."

Thomas' face somehow got even redder. "Come on-"

"For starters, fruit come from the flowering part of the plant-"

"We don't eat flowers-"

"Of course, the flower just serves as attraction. The actual fruit comes from the plant's ovaries, which is what a tomato is."

Hazel was watching the fight so intently that she completely missed the mention of the reproductive organ, though she did glance around to make sure there were no kids anywhere.

Thomas stared. "Then what are vegetables?"

Molly rolled her eyes. "Any other part of the plant."

"What about pumpkin?"

"Fruit."

"Cucumber?"

"Fruit."

Thomas threw his hands up in the air, disturbingly mindless of the spear in his right hand. "Oh my gods!"

Hazel had to admit that this was starting to get a bit ridiculous.

Molly levelled a glare at Thomas. "Got something to say?"

The son of Apollo shifted. "Nutritionists and culinary-"

"Ha!" Molly scoffed. "Cause nutritionists and culinary artists know so much about botany."

Hazel continued to stand in between the two, quickly becoming less and less sure of herself. This was so far out of her depth, yet somehow seemed so high stakes. It wasn't just the tomatoes' fate she had to decide, but pumpkin, cucumber, and presumably all other juicy, seedy vegetable/fruit.

She tried to imagine what her friends would say.

"Listen to the child of Ceres," Annabeth would say. "Fruit is ovary, and tomato is fruit."

"It's squishy and seedy," Percy would say. "It's a fruit."

"There's no real taste," Frank would say. "Vegetable."

"It's low in sugar," Will would say. "It's a vegetable, and a good source of lycopene and vitamin C."

"I don't care," Nico would say. "Leave me alone."

She took too long. Without her noticing, Molly had managed to grow a medium beefsteak tomato in her hand not holding the dagger, and in one smooth motion, lobbed the thing at Thomas' head. "Eat ovary, dumbass!"

Mesmerized, Hazel watched the tomato sail through the air and land on Thomas' face. Molly should be proud of herself; the firm fruit didn't burst on impact, but instead slid to the ground where it sat, vibrantly innocent.

She decided now was the time to be a Praetor. "Seriously, guys, come on." She looked at Thomas. "Go to the infirmary and get an ice pack." Then, she turned to Molly. "And you're on stable cleaning duty for two weeks. And both of you, apologize."

Molly and Thomas both looked at her, and she sighed. "Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

She barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Ultimately, the decision was easy. Rare memories of biting into the sweet, rubbery food, juice and seeds filling her mouth, spilling out the corners and running down her chin in the summer heat of New Orleans and later under the gentle Alaska sun, filled her mind.

"It's a fruit," she said.

"Yes!" Molly clapped at the same time Thomas said, "Aw, come on."

Later, when Frank found the paperwork for the tomato incident (as Hazel had taken to calling it), she had to laugh at the confusion that covered his face as he held it up for her to see. "Um, what?"

She took his hand in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "You don't want to know."

[fluffypotatey]

Hello there! I hope the month has treated you kindly enough. I don't have much questions right now, but there are a few buzzing in my head:

Why did Wukong tell MK at the start of S2 that he was going on a vacation, instead of maybe just saying that he has some unfinished business, maybe a serious one, that needs attending to now that MK can sort of look after himself? Probably to set the tone into something less alarming but I think if he went with that kind of excuse maybe MK wouldn't feel so resentful about his mentor apparently chilling while away. Or rather why not say that he's going to the Celestial realm and that he may not be available for a while because time runs differently between the two realms?

What effects do you think that being imprisoned inside a mountain has on Wukong instead of being trapped under it like in the OG JTTW book? I mean, both are pretty bad but at least the one in the book gives him fresh air and sunlight instead of complete darkness in the isolation.

Do you think that just like the battle that lead to the Havoc in Heaven 2.0 is different in LMK compared to the original book version, the peach thievery and banquet disruption also has a different story to it than the book one?

How's your writing for SWK and The Reaper series going? If you're having a bit of an inspiration fatigue, take your time to recharge. But are we going to see the White Impermanence's successor in that series though. How would the s4 and its specials' events go?

Have a great week, eat your meals regularly and not too late, take your medication if you have any, and eat your fruits and vegetables!

oh dear, oh honey, you’ve done it now :3 the floodgates are open :) hope you don’t regret it

imma have to answer these by short answer to long, so that first one is definitely placed last

anyway,

How's your writing for SWK and The Reaper series going?

tis marinating my good friend! tis on the slow cooker rn and might be for some more days or weeks depending on my uni stuff and motivation levels T^T but yeah, it’s not abandoned (far from it!) just needs some more mental plotting (ESPECIALLY because I added Xié Líng to the story and kind of want them introduced in the upcoming chapter/installment/part(?))

Are we going to see the White Impermanence's successor in that series though?

so yeah, you will see the White Impermanence’s successor soon! their involvement in the story takes place more in what I have in mind for s4 :3 and I don’t remember what I mentioned about them, but Xié Líng is basically Júhua’s only friend in the underworld (not to mention that the two are basically soulmates no thanks to what they have/will inherit). they aren’t that big of a fan of Sun Wukong but tolerate him bc it’s Júhua’s uncle (a label she only ever confessed to Xié Líng). also, hoping they will help me explained Júhua’s magic a bit more since I now have 2 reapers in this verse :)

and for s4…..no, I shan’t say…….more Diyu and Júhua playing sleuth while MK goes through the horrors

Do you think that just like the battle that lead to the Havoc in Heaven 2.0 is different in LMK compared to the original book version, the peach thievery and banquet disruption also has a different story to it than the book one?

I honestly would not be surprised if that was the case. lmk already differentiates a lot from the book with specific details or chapters (Red Son’s chapter/Samadhi Fire lore, the reason behind Guanyin’s vase, how the JTTW crew met Pigsy, how they met Sandy, LBD’s chapter). so, while the feel of the show sticks with that adventure and high stakes and moral dilema that JTTW had, it also is its own piece of work (which you could argue for many JTTW adaptations tbh since there are sO many and many are very different from each other)

anyway, yeah, I have an inkling that the stolen peach story is not exactly book accurate.

What effects do you think that being imprisoned inside a mountain has on Wukong instead of being trapped under it like in the OG JTTW book?

oh ho ho! what a question 👀

I certainly think being trapped inside the 5 Phases Mt has a different impact than being trapped under it. for one, like you mentioned, book!SWK had the “luxury” of being able to see outside and breathe fresh air. lmk!SWK???? he is in the heart of the mountain. he is seeing nothing but rocks (stalactites and stalagmites), he can hear nothing but the drips of cave water, he can breath nothing but stale and dusty air….for 500 years :)

how do you stay sane in such conditions?

spoiler: you don’t!

you cannot stay sane or impassive to being trapped inside a mountain with nothing but rock and golden chains for 500 years!!! we all remember that clip of a freed swk, right?

see that? that’s the look of a monkey who’s just been released from a 500 year prison and is ready to tear the world apart just to feel better :)

so how would one stay some-what lucid in this imprisonment? my guess is the man hallucinated the shit out of it. bored of seeing nothing but rock and more rock and even more rock? how about visualizing that Macky returned after your horrible fight and is apologizing for snapping at you. how about believing that you good pals the Brotherhood and you didn’t fail your war with Heaven! how about thinking that the darkness and loud echos of the cave hold more creatures and demons who heard of your downfall and want to finish the job. how about envisioning being back at FFM, Macky and your monkey subjects are so happy to see you and you were actually never imprisoned! how about believing—

listen to me, listen to me: Wukong’s experience of being held inside the mountain, other than being smushed under it, is more psychologically impactful and I bet this monkey could not sleep well after being freed for centuries. Wukong sleeps with a night light still!

Why did Wukong tell MK at the start of S2 that he was going on a vacation, instead of maybe just saying that he has some unfinished business?

short answer: because he’s an idiot

long answer:

Wukong is very used to solving issues on his own. he is aware that MK is human (maybe) and a mortal (now debatable, but at this point, MK believed that and that’s what’s important). he is aware that MK’s an anxious kid and wants to prove himself but also has great power within him. he is very aware that MK still needs to complete his training and isn’t ready for what Wukong is about to embark on (also who Wukong would potentially fight against with no one being none the wiser to).

and, as I stated prior, Wukong is very used to solving issues on his own. he did it in his time before JTTW and even during JTTW because he was the overpowered stone monkey who was FFM’s trump card and the JTTW savior when situations got rough (barely any of the other companions are able to beat off an opponent without Wukong’s help). thus, Wukong is not someone to ask for help or even allow other to be aware that help is needed because he is not used to asking (he only will if push comes to shove and he is out of ideas, which he wasn’t in s2)

however, I’m sure we’re well aware of SWK’s almost allergic reaction to acknowledging help or admitting that something is most definitely wrong! but imma get that statement out of the way so that when I delve into the question, we all have what I said above in mind :)

now, why tell MK he’s going on vacation? why not give a lie that could be a little closer to the truth?

well, as said before, Wukong has an aversion to admitting when there are things going wrong that only he could recognize and probably worries that hinting to MK that Wukong is off to investigate something would possibly entice the kid to join Wukong or ask the monkey a lot of questions about it he isn’t inclined to answer. also, if Wukong were to say he needed to complete something in the celestial realm that would also bring on more questions he would not know how to respond to

thus, vacation! it’s already established that Wukong retired himself from helping duty by s1. and what do retired people do? go on vacation!!!! they hit the road, take the most tourist heavy sites, go radio silent and relax! therefore, if Wuking were to tell MK he is going on vacation, then MK would not ask him too many questions about where he’s going or ask if he can join! I would not be surprised if that’s Wukong’s thought process. this answer is merely the simplest way for Wukong to subtly get rid of the LBD problem while MK protects the city and learns more about how to hone his powers (it’s not like the kid needed Wukong, the kid’s a fast learner and his powers are growing pretty quickly).

‘course this undermines MK’s insecurities of not being good enough and brings to light his abandonment issues and his low self worth but, uh, yeah

in conclusion: Wukong dun fucked up for saying vacation because he’s an idiot