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6ix9inewiturmom · 3 hours

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Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world

Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!

A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!

psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!

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Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.

Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.

“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.

“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.

“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.

“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.

“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.

Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.

“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.

“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.

I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.

“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.

“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.

“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.

“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.

“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.

“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.

“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.

“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”

“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.

“You trust me right?” he says curiously

“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”

“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.

“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.

“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.

“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.

His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.

“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.

“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.

I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.

“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”

“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.

“Nope,” I say softly

He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.

“H-how?” I stutter out.

“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.

“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.

“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off

“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off

“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”

I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.

“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.

He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.

“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little

“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.

He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.

“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes” I bite my bottom lip

He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.

He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.

He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.

His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.

He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.

“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.

“Holy fuck” I gasp out.

Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.

“O-okay” I say nervously

“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.

“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.

His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.

“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.

He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.

“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach

“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.

“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.

He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.

“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.

“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.

“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.

“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.

He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.

“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.

“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.

“Are you sure?” he smirks.

“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.

“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.

“Okay,” I breathe out.

As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.

“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.

He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.

“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.

He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.

“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.

“S-so fucking big” I moan out.

He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.

“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.

“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.

I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.

“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.

With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.

“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.

“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.

“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.

“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.

“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.

“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.

“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.

The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.

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A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷

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the-orange-tabby-cat · 2 days

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The Renegade

joel miller x fem!reader

Summary of the fic: This is why I’m writing to you, Tess. Do you see how much trouble am I? How unstable and not anywhere good for him? I can’t fall in love with him and he can’t get closer, I’m a weak bitch: I’m gonna fall for him if you don’t help me. I walked too many meters of bad decisions before, I can’t cross another ocean. You are my only hope, The renegade - Your parents ask you to try seeing a therapist, Tess, and you agree under one condition: she can't let you fall in love with Joel Miller. A fic in the format of letters, from you to Tess. 🐾

read on AO3 | masterlist | next chapter

CW/tags: Explict +18, no outbreak AU, slow burn, fluff, smut, kinda loser reader? lol, implied age gap, coming of age, no use of y/n

Word count of the prologue + chapter 1: 6,4k

A/N: This will be a quick fic, I promise! I needed to take it off my head, it was clogging everything else at this point lol I really wanted an anti-hero protagonist instead of the usual good girls I write. She is messy and adorable at the same time, I'm really proud of how the story is taking shape! Hope you like it!

PROLOGUE

Austin, July 2024

Dear Tess,

You said I could write you in any format as long I’m true to what I’m putting out. That’s some therapist bullshit, but since it’s you reading this mess, I will let it slide. I thought a lot about what to write down for you, not the usual overthinking, more of a “where do I begin?”. Remember, you were the one who told me to write this if I can’t say out loud what it is inside my head while we are in session. This shit is hard, okay?

Let me start by being the smartpants I used to be: the human brain processes a thought faster than one meter per second. If I put together all the meters my brain ran while getting bad ideas, I could now cross the Atlantic Ocean.

Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to avoid certain people? That strange feeling you get when you see a trainwreck of a person, the one that didn’t exactly do something bad, they just are stuck somewhere out of this reality and you think to yourself “I would never get in that position”?

I did get in that position. I’m stuck in that somewhere. For years now.

Wish I could tell you that something horrible happened to me when I was younger, that my mother crushed all my dreams and my dad left one day to buy a pack of cigarettes. What about a strict family or an over-the-top religious one where I’m one of ten kids? Not even close to the truth, I’m an only daughter.

Middle middle class: enough money to live more than comfortably, far from the luscious lifestyle of the riches. I grew up knowing money didn’t come from the trees, I touched some grass, okay? The only thing expected by my kinda-aristocrat parents was that I would achieve academic success prior to a life full of achievements.

Chess competitions, spelling bee trophies (if I make a mistake a few pages down, it’s been a while since it), debate club captain, swimming team… You name it and I did. At seventeen I was voted as “most likely to be successful” and second place for homecoming queen because slutty Katie gave the basketball team a sloppy blowjob after practice. I had a first kiss and gave one bad handjob under the bleachers by that age.

Then university came and nobody, no fucking body, got wowed when I got an Ivy League on my first try. My head was too shoved up my ass to notice life around me. I wasn’t a pretty girl anymore because girls in my class were prettier than me, wasn’t the smartest since I wasn’t a teacher’s pet by just existing.

My classmates didn’t care for me because I had no clue about social etiquette: what alcohol is acceptable to bring to a frat party? How do you pick up guys and let them suck on your tongue? Do you stay inside your dorm room when your roommate is fucking or do you wait outside?

I could do it with being the awkward girl, but not with being less than perfect. By the second semester, I was crying every day in the shower and realized I had no friends, just people who had the same interests as me back home. I tried so hard to become the number one in my class that life became hell the second my teacher gave me a lower score on a significant test.

I left her class and instead of crying, calling my parents to vent, or any other shit, I walked by the first frat house I saw and decided to lose my v card there with any guy that looked remotely cute.

Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be a slut if I hadn’t had a penis inside me yet, but I knew that something was boiling up for years. My hand sneaking under my panties after a tiring day, humping on my pillow whenever I got frustrated, even the shoulder massager I got for after swimming practice humming on my clit did it. All I needed was a chance to forget for a moment the hell that was my life.

And I did. A sand blond guy with a shark smile that would fuck anything that moved in his direction, clearly a rich bitch whose parents got his spot in the university. I walked in his direction and took my panties off, put them in his hand, and the next thing I saw he was deep inside of me while I hopped him vigorously.

I cummed so hard that I think saw Jesus, whatever he might be. Not that the guy made me cum, I had an itch for so long that any scratch would do it. Any. After coming down my high it was clear in my mind: I would do anything that I didn’t do before.

Drink until pass out, rob beer from the liquor store, fuck my roommate's hot dad, cheat on a test. Nothing was out of limits. Well, I still had to finish university and never use drugs because that was a hard no for me.

You see, Tess, I’m so good at keeping my promises to other people and ignoring my own needs that I did finish university. Graduated with an honor badge and everything, my parents' wet dream. Expect they no longer knew me and had no clue that I spent four years whoring myself and doing everything to ignore who I used to be.

And this is why on my first day in a big company, a trainee job earned right after college, I vomited inside the bathroom stall during onboarding. A panic attack a week later when my leader delegated some tasks. You give me a few months and my mind went blank the second I started a presentation to the c level board. I ran so fast outside that I fell on the sidewalk, got up, called for a cab, and never came back.

It’s been years since it.

My parents came to you because they still have some hope. I don’t, I think they are being dumb. Yes, I have an Ivy League degree, a bunch of useless skills (except for Mandarin, I can read so fast the menu at a Chinese restaurant) but nothing to do with when I WON’T come back to who I used to be. Do you think I sound miserable now? I’m miserable but I’m free in my kitchenette downtown, with my band t-shirts and two jobs. Living the dream.

Of course I’m fucking lying to you. I hate my life because the bitch running it is so dumb (that’s me, by the way).

It used to be kinda cool. The day I ran from the office was the same day I went straight to the arcade and played Mortal Kombat II so much that I broke the machine’s record. I went there for a full week before the manager, an emo guy looking like a teenager, decided to hire me.

It wasn’t enough to pay for my fancy downtown apartment, the one that got furniture that didn’t come from IKEA, so I had to move to the shithole I’m now. A mini studio in a building so old that if the city trembles, I’m sure that I will be turning into dust.

Years in this life, day after day, and I wasn’t mad about it. I was free, after all. It took about two years for my parents to find out that I wasn’t the prodigious child anymore and they took better than I expected. My mom cried, cursed my name, and asked if someone hurt me but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was the one who caused it.

Anyway, you already know this stuff. They told you their side of the story when letting you know that I would be your new patient. What exactly have they told you? About how I never introduced them to a guy and my dad had a very straightforward conversation with me about why lesbians were cool and he would accept me if I was one? Maybe they told you about how I got so drunk one Christmas that end up peeing on the petunias in the neighbor’s yard and my mom thought it was a good idea to tell them I was heavily sedated from a fear of flying? Nobody said it was easy to be an only child.

What you don’t know is that I have a love life, you are welcome. For years I’ve been sleeping around with a married man. I know, I know, shocking! Scandalous! His name is Peter and he is dumb as a door. But the dick is good and he sometimes treats me like a real person. I met him at a bar, gave him a blowjob in the back alley (Katie would be proud) and we see each other every week since.

Remember when I said my family isn’t religious? Thank god because that’s not everything. I have a boyfriend, a real one. It was a scorching day, the AC wasn’t working and I had to put the neckline out a bit before becoming a puddle. That’s when I see him, playing with his friends, having fun, being so fucking broad and handsome… I had to taste it.

Flirted a bit and boom, got him at the back door pumping deep inside of me while I was sitting on a desk. He was amazing, he was making me gooey to the point of screaming in pleasure. Too good to be true, when he was about to come I saw the little golden cross pending from his neck.

The next day he came back, told me how sorry he was, and asked me for an opportunity to show me how good he could be. I thought he wanted a second round, but nope, he wanted me to meet Jesus. I’m a people pleaser, Tess. It has been four months since I’m Mormon Isaac’s girlfriend. Every Sunday I attend the mess, his family knows me and I haven’t slept with him since that first day. It marks also the four months I’m trying to break up with him.

You must think that I ain’t a good person and you are right, I’m not. Not the worst, but for sure not a fucking saint. I don’t come back in my decisions, anyone else with less brain would, but not me. I’m stubborn and deal with the hell I made of my own life. Or used to, because now I’m head over heels for this guy, Tess.

Joel Miller. The stupid hunk who is older, wiser, and hot. Who I can’t stop thinking about since we met. Damn his pretty brown eyes and how they look into my soul. I’m a mess and I need some help dealing with it before he gets into my trap and I destroy him.

This is why I’m writing to you, Tess. Do you see how much trouble am I? How unstable and not anywhere good for him? I can’t fall in love with him and he can’t get closer, I’m a weak bitch: I’m gonna fall for him if you don’t help me. I walked too many meters of bad decisions before, I can’t cross another ocean.

You are my only hope,

The renegade

P.S. I won’t pay you shit, hope my parents paid you enough for this.

CHAPTER ONE

Austin, July 2024

Dear Tess,

Yes, I'm doing well, thank you for your concern, guess the rambling in my last letter got you worried about me. It’s a skill, I’m very good at making people worry. I'm marvelous, splendid, and well, fucked. By our last session, you asked me more details of how I ended up meeting Joel and I said to you “a lady never tells” and you didn't laugh, tough crowd. Let me paint you a picture then.

There are many regulars at the arcade. The asians dudes that go there after Kumon (been there, done that, I feel so sorry for them), the lone wolves of 40+ that still want to feel young since they can't get any pussy and, my favorites, the after-school reruns.

These little fuckers go there every week to burn some steam from their sugary-inflicted bodies, stay until 4 pm and go straight to their houses, to their mom and dad. I'm not bitter, I just hate teenagers.

I'm aware that it sounds like I'm on the wrong career path since they keep my economy going, but fuck it, teenagers give me the creeps. Except for the queers, they are quite nice. I have a baby lesbian (it’s pretty obvious) that I call 3 pm because she comes by this time twice a week, Ellie.

She is probably fifteen or so and everything I wasn't at her age. Firecracker, bossy with a dirty mouth – did I ever tell you that the first time I said “fuck” in front of my parents was after my meltdown? You can get it. One of the only teenagers I got close to if I'm honest. She came by one afternoon, saw Mortal Kombat II, and hasn't left since.

“Who's The Renegade?” She asked me one time, checking out the scoreboard with disgust. Remember I beat the machine record? She was right after me.

“No clue, try harder.” I teased her thinking she wouldn't care and move on with her life, like people do.

But not Ellie, she tried really hard to break the fucking record. Week after week, I watched her trying her best from my glass display while wearing the ugly bowling striped shirt that is my uniform.

I saw him way before he saw me. Doing my regular afternoon routine, cleaning the games with some rubbing alcohol to avoid the sticky hands infecting everywhere, minding my business under the neon light. All good, until I saw broad shoulders (I have a type, okay? Sue me) playing the fucking Mortal Kombat II with Ellie by his side.

Broad, so fucking broad. Dark curls with some gray here and there adorning his ears. I must have made some noise because for a second he looked back and that nose? Yeah, that was the end of me.

“You were close, old man,” Ellie teased as the fight on screen got to an end. He glared at her before looking at his score. “Nah, you're full of shit. Not even close to me or The Renegade.”

“Yeah, if I was spending that much time here I would be second place too,” he groaned before gaining full height. That voice gave me chills as I pretended I haven't heard shit, trying to not sneak a look and failing every time.

And that was it, Tess. Not exactly your meet cute, sorry. He came back maybe three or four times, always polite, nothing else. I thought it would be a silent crush, a small one until I got bored. I’m constantly bored.

My second job is a little less orthodox, if you can call my first one that. A girl has to do what she has to to get that bag. On Christmas, I’m the Santa helper with a mini skirt and sweet smiles (you can imagine how many times I picked up bored dads like that), by Easter, I’m your lucky bunny hopping around in white hot pants, when Thanksgiving is around the corner I’m the sluttiest turkey you ever saw.

The mall manager pays me double because I let him once see my boobs and the poor guy is so lonely that he is more than sure that we will sleep together at some point.

“A vest with “can I help you?” tagline? Where is the skanky clothes?” I asked him one Saturday morning, thinking he made a mistake giving me the day costume.

“We’re getting more boomers and older visitors, we need someone to stay in a good floor spot and answer their questions,” he told me in a boring tone, the sadness in his eyes always a classic.

“Okay, if they ask me questions, what do I do? I don’t know shit about this mall except that you can buy powder by the public telephones and shouldn’t use the ladies bathroom on the second floor, that’s where Nora from Chipotle goes and that woman’s ass is rancid.” He furrowed his brows and dragged his hand on his face, taking his time to process what I had just said.

“Just be nice and bring them to someone who will be helpful, maybe a security guard, I don’t know. And don’t use cocaine while on the job, I can’t deal with another junkie here,” he said reinforcing the vest on my hands and urging me to get out of the room.

Now would be a good time to remind you that I don’t use drugs, never did. I might be many things in this life, but not a stoner. Not because I’m prudish or think drugs are bad for you, even if they are. I’m way too afraid about getting hooked once I realize that the play-pretend reality that they induce in your brain is better than this one. I’m self-destructive, but not stupid.

So there I was, in my lime neon vest, above a small platform with a big dark blue “information” written. Thinking about anything you can imagine, my shift lasts six hours and I can’t sit down, just a fifteen-minute bathroom break. One of my worst nightmares is to be alone with the dumb bitch inside my head, that’s why I hate silence.

When was the last time you went to a mall? They used to be a big deal in my younger days, but now they are dead. It’s so fucking slow, just little packs of people here and there. Not even music playing to alleviate the tension between me and my stupid brain.

“Miss?” A small voice called, I looked to the sides and saw nobody, so they insisted. “Miss?”

I looked down on the platform and to my surprise, a toddler with big brown eyes and curly hair was calling me. Hesitating for a second, I climbed down my platform and crouched to get my eyes the same height as his, I read once that kids get more comfortable like that.

“Hm, yeah?” I asked unsure of how one talks with kids, shouldn’t he be there with an adult?

“I can’t find my uncle,” the poor kid was on the verge of tears, making me panic.

“Okay, let’s find him,” I said with very little confidence, unsure how to approach it.

Before I could think about what I would do, his hand found a place in mine, holding me like an anchor. I decided to go to the nearest security guard and hope for the best, one thing was to be a failure by myself and another was to fail a little kid.

We walked for about five minutes, the fucking mall had a small amount of guards. No fucking clue why nobody comes down there. The kid got a little tired of walking and held up his little arms, asking to be picked up.

I accepted it, letting him rest his head on my shoulder. Thinking about it now, as I write this to you, I can’t remember the last time somebody hugged me. We might need to talk about it in session.

“You tell me if you see him, okay? What does your uncle look like?” I asked still walking down the corridor, searching for the damn guard.

“Big, fluffy hair,” I laughed at how wholeheartedly the kid tried to answer it.

“Blue eyes? Dark hair?” He shook his head for the first one but nodded at the second.

Changing corridor, I saw from afar a big guy and a smaller figure talking with a guard and figured out it was the kid’s uncle. The man seemed agitated, speaking with his hands in the air. As I pressed my steps, the figures got more familiar. Made a signal for the kid, showing them when we were close enough and his face lightened up.

“Uncle Joel!” He shouted happily, as I put him down so he could run to the tall man.

That’s how I found out his name. Simple, discrete, direct. Jo-el. Suits him.

He immediately hugged the boy, kissing the top of his head. Ellie was at the side getting color back on her face, unshed tears in her eyes when she noticed me.

“I know you,” she started and I panicked a little. I don’t know why, I wasn’t doing anything weird, but something about breaking their bubble made me uncomfortable.

Joel looked up from his nephew’s face and furrowed his brows, not in a “who the fuck are you?” kinda way, more of a “wait, I do know you too”.

“Hm, yeah, I work at the arcade down the block,” I said in a monotone, looking into Ellie’s eyes, ignoring Joel’s.

“Are you safe? All good?” Joel asked in a soft tone, much softer than I imagined a man like him could do, to the kid.

“Yes,” the toddler replied searching for my hand again. My eyes got to the size of the moon, unaware of how to react.

“Thank you for helping him, we were about to lose our heads searching for him everywhere.” Joel gave me puppy eyes in his dearest manners and every inch of my body heated as he got up, gaining his tall size.

A grown, big man being soft on the edges? The hottest thing I’ve seen and I fucked once Mormon Isaac.

I was ready to get back to my platform when Ellie shared stares with Joel, a language I hadn’t properly been introduced to in my formal education, but I think I can decipher:

Ellie looking straight, then bringing her eyebrows up - say something, Joel

Joel furrowing his heavy eyebrows and pouting a little, before looking towards the exit - no, let’s go home

Ellie rolling eyes and siding it in my direction real quick - she is right here, do something

Joel setting his jaw and looking directly at Ellie - I said no, let’s go home

Ellie narrowing her eyes and then nodding to the toddler - how did we got him back?

Joel glancing at his nephew, Ellie, and me before pouting a little bigger - okay, fine, you’re so annoying

Mind you I’m not a linguist in any way, I might have translated something wrong since I’m not fluent and the whole scene lasted no more than two seconds. I was highly confused when he put his hand on the toddler’s shoulder (mind you, who was still holding my hand) and cleared his throat.

“Are you hungry? It would be a pleasure having you with us,” he proposed in his most southern polite voice. I laughed a little, stupid bitch.

“That’s not… Necessary. Really. It’s okay!” I replied quickly, awkwardly trying to walk back. The kid’s hand grip got stronger.

“C’mon, stay. It’s the minimum I can do,” Joel insisted with another puppy eye.

“I used to g-get lost too, in the mall, you know? It’s okay! It’s just a full circle moment, but thank you!” I lied.

I was a prodigious child, way too smart for my age, and for sure not roaming around in a suburban mall. My parents weren’t strict, but they had a very clear vision of what was cool and what was trashy. Read in my room, go to museums and cinema exhibitions of foreign movies that I was able to watch without the subtitles? Hot and cool. Go to the mall, watch blockbuster movies, and eat a burger at the food court? Suburban and trashy. I got lost once at a library, though.

“He won’t stop giving you the puppy eye until you accept, c’mon,” Ellie replied gaining a double glare from me and Joel, who – in all truth – was still giving me puppy eyes.

“Some pizza wouldn’t hurt,” I said with an awkward lopsided smile.

The duo stared at each other again, now that I had more familiarity with the language I think I can get better translations:

Ellie shotting up her eyebrows and inclining her head towards the front of her body - told ya, old man

Joel sighing before eyeing the food court direction - lead the way, brat

“Let’s go, Luke,” Ellie grabbed the kid’s hand from mine and started to walk.

“One sec,” I said before taking off my vest and placing it in the security guard’s hand, who looked at me puzzled. I would find a way out of trouble with the manager later on. “Okay, all good!”

“So… The arcade and the mall, you must be good with teenagers,” Joel started nodding in Ellie’s direction. He said in such a genuine matter that it took me back, not a single harsh reply in my brain.

“Not really, it’s more of a coincidence. I try to avoid them a little, though. They could shatter me with one comment.” I laughed a little, trying to break the awkwardness between us. He smirked a bit.

“I get it, Ellie likes to remind me that I’m no longer hip. Do people still use this word?” He asked chewing his cheek and I chuckled.

“I’m not sure. Maybe no? We are very much 20th-century material,” he smiled.

Do I like to think it was because I hinted that I was old enough to drink, so old enough to fuck him? Yes. But I regretted it the moment that thought appeared in my head.

Don’t get me wrong Tess, even if I’m a slut I wasn’t trying to fuck Joel Miller when we got alone. It’s more of an old habit, a second skin. When I got the conclusion men were little needy bitches, I got laid often.

You pretend to be stupid and praise them on their big brain. Maybe they prefer it when you are a hopeless girl who needs a strong man to solve something that your small body can’t. Or, the classic, they just want a shy girl who has no idea of how pretty she is and is more than grateful that he is there to show her.

Men are simple creatures. The more you make yourself smaller and dumber, the more they want you. Nobody wants an opinionated woman who knows her worth, that isn’t sexy. It’s a sin being a woman who is not sexy all the time.

Something inside of me knew Joel wasn’t trying to pick me up. He was just an older guy with a life set and a family of his own, he wanted to be nice to the girl who helped his nephew.

“Your nephew is a sweet kid, very affectionate,” I said in a genuine tone, trying to clear a bit of my head.

“A good kid too, smart for his age. He will be three in a couple of days,” Joel's face lightened up talking about the toddler. I wondered if someone’s face ever got so bright thinking of me.

“Growing up fast?” I asked trying to keep up, I don’t much about raising kids except that parents feel like everything is way too fast.

“Yes, but there is a long way until he becomes a petulant teenager like Ellie,” he joked with tenderness.

“She is cool, just the right amount of sassy in her bones. Her friends too, they are well-behaved down the arcade,” I said thinking about the times I saw her with other weird teenagers there.

“Really? Good to know her friends treat her well, she needs that,” he replied quickly. I lost him for a second and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“Why?” Could I sugarcoat my curiosity a bit? Of course, but my initial awkwardness was opening space for a comfortable conversation and I’m bad at calculating risk.

“We just moved, right before the school year. I’m from Austin, but Ellie no, she is from Boston. We lived there for a few years before moving back. Is tough to be the new kid, you know.”

The soft around the edges came back. I started to wonder how I never noticed Ellie’s accent, but it made sense.

“And why did you come back? Work?” I asked, again, without thinking further. Joel scratched his scruff while pondering how much detail he would give me.

“Boston got too heavy. Bad memories, you know? She needed a fresh start and I was missing the Texas sun.” My eyes searched for a ring on his hand for the first time, but there was nothing to see. Maybe a bad divorce? A widow?

“In that case, welcome home, cowboy,” I said mimicking holding a tip of a cowboy hat to him, who smiled a bit.

When we arrived at the food court, we went straight to the only pizza option available, the fucking Pizza Hut. The mall is shitty, if you haven’t noticed it yet Tess.

Ellie ordered everyone’s pizza as if she were introducing us to a new, exotic cuisine. Joel got amused, looking at her adoringly while petting his nephew's curls. I allowed myself to imagine what if my weekends were filled with this domestic view, if I would be happy to live such a mundane life and got surprised when the response was positive.

“Will you finally tell me who The Renegade is?” Ellie joked with a hint of truth. Joel rolled his eyes in good fun.

“A lady never tells,” I winked at her and Joel grinned with a little laugh. You see Tess, when you make a joke this is how people react, not scribbling something down their therapist's notepad. Rude as fuck.

The pizza could be better, but the company was more than good. I found myself laughing at Ellie’s puns, making comments about the arcade regulars. Joel tried to make me laugh a few times too, like an old friend. I felt good, felt normal instead of the constant weight on my shoulders.

At some point during our little chit-chat, I furrowed my eyebrows.

“How did Luke get lost? You haven’t told me that.” I questioned both of them, Ellie’s cheeks got pink. Joel made a motion for her to speak.

“Joel went inside a store and asked me to wait a little with Luke, to keep an eye on him for a second while he got something. I know,” she looked into his eyes with a guilty stare, “that I must hold Luke’s hand whenever we’re in a public place. I didn’t, started to look into a window shop thinking he was by my side.”

“It’s okay, you were holding tight to his hand on our way here,” Joel assured her.

If that man couldn’t get any hotter, he didn’t hold the weight of her mistakes against her. I swear that I don’t have daddy issues, I might have a Peter Pan syndrome or shit like that, but my dad was quite nice for a stuck-up guy. I’m not comparing dads, I’m comparing how to deal with delicate hearts: in that couple of hours I got to know a little more of them, I saw how Joel didn’t hold Ellie back, tried to shape her into something he wanted. Even inside of my own body I can’t do that with myself, be this level of kind.

I think Joel got me when it crossed my mind that I could fuck up and, maybe, he would still like me. I wouldn’t be a bitch, a bad girl to him. I would be just a person who made a mistake and he would still be there. What if my main kink is to be loved?

He paid for the meal, of course, a southern gentleman. I said goodbye, hinting I would be there when Ellie decided to show up at the arcade and she replied with a “hell yeah”. They left and I sighed, so light as if I had a spa day, but nope, just a good time with nice people. I might be lonely.

In a snap of fingers, I met the mall manager who questioned me why I wasn’t at the platform. The weight of the world came back on my shoulders, I reasoned that I was tired and wanted to go home as fast as possible.

“A kid got lost and I went to help him find his family. I think the slutty outfit might be a better idea next time, this shit is too complex,” I said shrugging before flashing him again with my boobs for a few seconds.

What? I had a nice meal with a good family, but I’m still not a saint.

Anyway, life followed its course. Saw Ellie sometimes at the arcade, Joel would greet me by name whenever he was there to pick her up, all good and normal. I told you, this is not your meet-cute story.

If you are wondering, yes, I saw Mormon Isaac the next day after the missing kid incident. Holy Sunday, couldn’t skip.

I don’t have exactly a wardrobe that screams “SLUT!”, but the vibe isn’t exactly good southern mormon girl. Jesus just wasn’t my thing growing up. My parents were a little paranoid about the christians, we avoided them at all cost. I had to thrift some stuff to attend Sunday preaching with Mormon Isaac.

It was so boring, every single Sunday. Thank God the pastor would scream from time to time on his speech, the only thing waking me up. Mormon Isaac, strangely as it seems, wouldn’t try to grab me a little here and there while we were inside the church.

“Are you okay?” I asked him once when he audibly swallowed when I touched the inside of his thigh when the pastor was speaking, or whatever.

“Yes. Please, not here, sweetheart,” he urged me and I rolled my eyes.

Every. Fucking. Sunday. For. Four. Months. He would only give me a peck after church, always in front of his family, if his parents weren’t making lunch he would drive me home and that’s it.

Sometimes we would do other stuff too. He would take me to the cinema to see a movie, always under PG-13 though. I would try to jack him off and he wouldn’t allow me, I once tried to give him a blowjob and he said he was waiting for the right time. We fucked rough in the staff room and now I was a pervert, make it make some sense.

You can imagine my surprise when, in the middle of an afternoon, Mormon Isaac appeared from nowhere at the arcade.

“Guess whose four-month anniversary is today?” He asked me while holding a box. I have no idea how to pray, but I know that I prayed for every single entity in the sky for a surprise break up as a git.

“Wow, lucky me,” I said with a fake smile. If my job was boring that afternoon, it was about to become much more boring.

From the corner, I saw Ellie picking up her backpack from the floor as I opened the box. A deep voice greeted my name and I got cold.

Mormon Isaac was looking at me like he was the best boyfriend in the whole world. Joel appeared to be curious, getting close to the glass display I call my office.

“I didn’t know you were religious,” he said looking at the bible in my hands. A fucking bible. Damn you, Mormon Isaac.

“She attends the Sunday preach every week,” Mormon Isaac promptly corrected with his most polite smile. I wanted to die.

“Thank you very much, I will cherish it.” I smiled back, looking into Joel’s eyes with a silent rescue request when Mormon Isaac glanced at his phone.

“See you tomorrow-,” he started and I cut it before he could finish that thought.

“For the bible study, yes. It will be a pleasure,” I said faking another smile, Joel looked so confused and amused by the whole situation. Mormon Isaac grinned so hard that I thought he was about to cum in his pants.

“That’s fantastic! I will let my mom know!” He said before grabbing his phone and walking out, leaving me and Joel behind.

I sighed and dropped my head into my arms, right at the bible. Joel's laugh, I sound I grew to adore, echoed and I glanced up from my arms.

“What the hell was that?” He asked in good fun, looking at how distressed I was.

“You do me a favor: never, I said never, open the door for a Jeovah’s witness. I accepted one preach from this mormon customer and now he plays rehab with me,” I said avoiding the fact that the said mormon was my boyfriend on the following day we would meet for a date.

“I will. Do you need an excuse for bible study?” He asked me looking somewhere behind me like he was forming a plan inside his head, both hands on my glass display while Ellie waited.

“Does it involve religion or any kind of cult?” I half-joked. Half because if hot Joel said he wanted me to go to any kind of religious ceremony I would have another panic attack and leave.

Joel looked to Ellie, who looked back at him and both nodded. This time I can’t translate, sorry, I’m still in the process of getting the language's grammatical structure.

“Tomorrow is Luke’s birthday. Surprise party. You don’t want to break the poor’s kid heart, c’mon,” Ellie said faking seriousness. Joel nodded back.

“There will be food?” Ellie confirmed. “Booze?”

“Do you like beer?” Joel asked, also in fake seriousness. Except that his death stare made me fucking wet.

“Pass me your phone so I can give you my number, text me the address,” I turned my palm up to grab the said phone, he smirked and Ellie laughed.

And this, Tess, is how I met Joel, got my little heart full of him just to let him slip into my life. What can I say? I never wanted to save a horse more than the moment he lassoed me.

I think you have more than enough material for our next session already. I will give you that yes, I speak more about what is inside my head like this. I think it might be because it feels strangely similar to submitting a paper, you know how much I love being the teacher’s pet.

Don’t forget: I can’t fall in love with this guy,

The Renegade

P.S. In case it isn’t obvious, I don’t have daddy issues. I DON’T. I know what it looks like, but I don’t have it. Don’t even try.

next chapter

#joel miller #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x original character #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfic #the last of us #the last of us hbo #the renegade series

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yeritos · 2 days

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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ © ⠀ roller⠀ coaster

⠀finally, here we are with the roller coaster event results, apologise for the wait, i PROMIS i didn’t let it slip my mind.. it was the laziness in me ^__^ all of the mbs were such a gag JEBAL it made the decision difficult, i did settle for the top ones though! let’s all enjoy and live that life to the fullest and don’t get mad for not getting into the top 5 😖😖 also.. like and subscribe for banger moodboards..

🥇 — @ningrlz’s moodboard, see, this ones perfectly on theme AND a 10/10 while you’re at it there’s not much to tell, the moodboard speaks for itself imo.. orange blue is a hard combo kudos to u for making it work together so well!! RESPECT 💯😂🔥

🥈 — @yrminji’s moodboard, i liked this sm you won’t ever get it in the same will i ever will. i will always love it in a moodboarder way than you. trisha is the greatest and i’m not lying when i say this

🥉 — @aegsll’s moodboard, a recreation of my very first thought would be that it fits the theme extremely well and i’m a huge sucker for the cybercore vibes used here 😭😭 we love you aeGOAT

runner ups !! — coming in fourth place we have @p-oisn WHO ELSE PHYSICALLY GASPED IN AWE SEEING THE MB.. and in fifth place we have @haenxn and the sunghoon mb that i had to put in one of the top five there were no chances of it getting left out :o

⠀ 🥇 ⠀ ᯓ★ ⠀ a follow obviously, one blog theme of their liking, 100 reblogs, two moodboards, shoutout and three dividers!

⠀ 🥈 ⠀ ᯓ★ ⠀ a follow 2️⃣, 75 reblogs, a mb, shoutout and three locs!

⠀ 🥉 ⠀ ᯓ★ ⠀ a follow 3️⃣, 50 reblogs, a mb, shoutout and users

⠀🔥 ⠀ ᯓ★ ⠀ a moodboard for the runner ups 😆

all will be posted one by one on my page, dm me to claim your prize… thank u for the support yeritosnation i love you.

#roller coaster : event #had lots of fun hosting this ❤️#resultssssss …

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tansyuduri · 2 days

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Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E5

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We’re on LANCELOT

Lancelot: It's my life's ambition to join the Knights of Camalot OKAY let's talk knights! While most knights were nobles. (Especially in the later middle ages) Not all were. In the early middle ages it was not that unusual for a commoner to be knighted for acts of valor in battle, Great service to a much higher lord, or marrying a noble woman. While this got much more rare it did not fully die out. So Lancelot coming as a commoner and hoping to be a knight is unusual but not unheard of. His way of going ABOUT it is a bit odd.

Arthur: Right you jumped up dung beetle this is it. your final test. Pass this and you are a knight of camalot. Fail and you're no one. You face the most feared of all foes. The ultimate killing machine. You face me. Your challenge is to last one minute in free combat. Grimmond second son of Wessex. Your time starts now. OKAY lots to talk about here. First of all Knight of Camalot must be a great honnor. This dude is the second son of at LEAST a noble family. That being considered no one is huge. However the second son thing could mean he would not inherit his fathers title and this is what Arthur refers to.

ALSO is Wessex suborninate to Camalot? Or are knights just coming from outside Camelot because being a knight of Xamalot is such a big deal. Wessex was a anglo-saxon kingdom and as I have said before we are pre saxon take over in Merlin. HOWEVER the first recorded king of Wessex was named Cedirc and this name is thought to be brittonic rather than saxon giving rise to the theory he was a native of Briton who was later saxonized. Possibly implying a existance of Wessex before the Saxons arrived. It is also implied that for a while he was not a king. SO it's possible Wessex could have been part of Camalot. Also, the test is interesting. See Kings could knight whoever they wanted. Occasionally they would go on a knighting spree of squires just so they could say they had more knights before a battle. Of course as we know in Camalot squires are not a thing. So the normal path of page to squire to knight goes out the window. MY POINT HERE is this test might serve as a replacement for that. Come up with by either Uther or Arthur. Hey you wanna be a knight for us? Sure, pass this test and BOOM knight. It kinda suggests that a LOT of people wanna come be knights of Camelot. (Which seeing how many die is a good thing) So my question is WHY. WHY is this such a plum gig that people want it so bad. Is there some level of renown? Uther does not seem to give out bits of land so it can't be that.

Okay I'm kinda loving the fact that the coat of arms for Wessex is similar to but not the same as the one given to Wessex in the 1300s. Same colors no cross (eliminating Christianity) and what looks like different animals. (but its hard to see)

First reference to the First code of Camalot. Only those of noble blood can serve as knights. Will talk about this a bit more later then reasoning is explained a bit I do find it interesting that they use the word code which was also used for the "code of chivalry"

Gaius: The first code of camalot states that only those of noble blood can serve a knight. Uther created the knights to prtect this kingdom from those who wished to destroy it. He knew he would have to trust each of his knights with his life. So he chose them from the families that had sworn allegiance to him. The nobility Okay first of all considering how he treats commoners and is paranoid fair. SECOND OF ALL HOLY SHIT UTHER CREATED THE KNIGHTS? What was there before? I mean I know he conquered the kingdom. so choosing them from families sworn to him makes sense in that aspect. BUT DID CAMALOT JUST NOT HAVE KNIGHTS? I mean where were the Knights of Medir sooo. Okay I've got this. Knights of Camalot were likely disbanded or something following the abuses of the Knights of Medir. Uther however was like Naw fam I'm bringing them back, there is NO WAY that could happen to me. So he re-formed the knights of Camalot. ALSO does this mean every camalot knight we see comes from Camalot nobility? So Camalot has some part of western illes (Valiants heraldry implied Ireland so Camalot owns part of Ireland?) Or can it be from any nobility? Even if it's not sworn to him? And Northumbria mentioned later is also Camalot but there are still other kingdoms? Okay okay. so either at first knight they were nobles of Camalot but then things spread to other nobles. That's why Uther doesn't seem to know Valient. (Of freaking Ireland) but still invites him to serve as a knight of Camalot. And has knights coming to try to serve from lots of places. OR Camalot is bigger than I thought it was despite just being conquered and Includes some of "the western illes" (Almost certainly Ireland) Wessex, and Northumbria. (While Mercia is somehow its own kingdom) Gonna look for evidence to resolve this as I keep watching the show. because I NEED TO KNOW.

FYI I will not be trying to solve what obscure references like this are about. A LOT ABOUT TOPOGRAPHY CAN CHANGE esp when magic effects things.

Okay LORD of Northumbria. Its looking like Camalot actually does include Northumbria and likley Wessex but not Mercia. (Also thus possibly some least bits of Ireland? Or the other two were from outside Camalot and Northumbria is part of Camalot. I'M KEEPING AN EYE ON THIS. BECAUSE AGAIN I NEED TO KNOW. ANYHOW LETS TALK NORTHUMBIA

It was an Anglo Saxon Kingdom consisting of two other lands that united under the Saxons. (Bernica and Deira both of whom likely existed before the saxon invasion.) Now Deira at least it brought up later so it's likely separate from them. Bernicia is also never mentioned in Merlin SO my thought is Merlin world wise Northumbria is basically the name we are using for Bernicia. Because otherwise it just plain would not exist yet.

Okay in a time before machine made clothing this is a BIG DEAL. See noble did not sew her own clothing. Instead they would hire a tailer who was hired specifically to make custom fitted clothing for the elite. AND if this is true it means Gwen might have been one of them in addition to being a servant. Gwen would likely be far from the only one. But if she was the best that would be noticed. HOWEVER If a noble family was wealthy enough and had an extensive staff, they might hire a tailor exclusively. I don't think Gwen served this role simply because she would not have the time. Gwen however CLEARLY knows how to sew clothing for nobles, as she does it for Lancelot. This implies that she in fact DOES sew clothing for nobles (If not the pendragons themselves) as a side gig. This would likely earn her money. (Further supporting the Gwen's family is more well off than most non nobles theory.) I find it interesting that she keeps being a servant when she has this as a possibility. Does she need to? Or is her loyalty to Morgana and Later Arthur on display here that she chooses to keep being a servant?

Hahaha Okay this position is pretty unique to the Merlin world. Normally patents of nobility would be used and not really checked. ALSO, nobility would have married other nobility People tended to know each other or of each other. Nobles never really had to prove their status otherwise, because their status is known to everyone at the time of their birth.

Gaius: A griffin is a creature of magic. It is born of Magic, Sire and can only be killed by magic. Okay what constitutes a creature of magic? Unicorns are not, thats clear, Are Afancs? Since Merlin did use magic there they could be? Cockatrices are not, however. And trolls are not. In short what counts as a "Creature of magic" Seems to be kinda arbitrary in Merlin. So not much I can extrapolate here.

LIKE I SAID IN PREVIOUS POSTS Gwen's father is not just a typical village blacksmith. And that has implications on the status of Gwens family and their ability to live a higher quality life. (I talked a lot about this in previous episodes)

Okay we have a thank god from Gaius who we KNOW was trained in the old religion. SO either saying god does not mean you are not pagan in Merlin, or he converted or somthing.

Gwen sent at least the helmet off with him. Possibly more. That stuff is not cheap! As in normally only rich nobles could afford it. Also did she send him off with the set that was the best she had? I don't really think Lancelot would accept that. So I think she sent him off with a cheaper suit or helm. UNLESS Lancelot didn't really know how expensive armor was. Which is a big possibility because he didn't know about the code so he might not know about other things in a knights world.

#merlin loregasm rewatch #bbc merlin #merlin lore #lore #merlin rewatch #merlin bbc #merlin lore rewatch #merlin #not as much lore this time #but fun

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00127am · 1 day

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signed with love and forever yours, guanheng

postage. huang guanheng & gn! reader, cursing cost to ship. 730 words

there was a conversation that you had with ten during one of the first times we met. a private one that I caught just in the middle, centered around dating or maybe an old partner or two but primarily about love. you laughed when you told him that you've never seriously been called beautiful. i didn't find it funny, though I suppose i interrupted your thought. so perhaps there was an upcoming punch line that I never got to hear.

punch line or not, you took it so lightly. as if it didn't matter and brushed off ten's plethora of compliments with a wave of your hand. he wasn't undeterred but nor was he wholly serious. if i were to do the same, to tell you what i truly thought of you, would you reject me? if all my words were made seriously?

do you remember the time that we were driving back from dongguan in that shitty SUV ten rented? the one that only cost him a quarter of what it should and the same one that we were convinced was going to implode halfway through the drive. i was driving and you were in the passenger seat. hair splayed out on the headrest and head rolled back to look out the window that you refused to close (even after yangyang spat bugs out of his mouth, you just laughed). you had this look on your face that i could never recreate even if i tried. in this moment, like all others, i found you beautiful.

you made an offhand comment about how you'd like to be loved in the same way you love the summer. you used that word again. seriously. i almost confessed to you then and there. beginning of the phrase choked out by whatever yangyang had bursted out in song to on the radio (you could tell me it was adagio and i would believe you, more focused on you than anything he was doing in the backseat). you looked at me, and for a second, i thought you had heard me (or maybe i hoped you did). but then you tilted your head back and laughed along with ten. i almost confessed again.

i'm not exactly sure what you consider to be serious. though i've thought about it a lot. after all, how could no one have been serious about you? i'm afraid that i have a lot of competition (especially that guy from your apartment building that follows you around like a lost puppy, god, i hate him). they might be serious about you but so am i. to the point where i fear that i may never be serious about anyone ever again.

so if i were to confess. to tell you that you're beautiful. and that i love you like you love summer. seriously in every sense of the term. would you tell me that there was a punchline to that initial conversation i interrupted?

(i love you like you love summer. you're beautiful.)

about guanheng's love letters.

like him, hendery's handwriting is fast paced. bouncing from one line to the next with various errors and the scribbled lines of his script. despite following the pattern of his thoughts (jumping from one conclusion to the next), the letters find themselves to be unexpectedly romantic. though you suppose that such unadulterated honesty, raw and unedited, is the most endearing kind of love at the end all be all.

he writes on plain paper, no lines or margins. his words fill the page, slopping downward at an angle that only worsens with each new sentence. his writing his skewed, drawing your eyes in curved patterns down the length of the page. he includes drawings at whatever is left of the space, cutesy, shaky-handed caricatures of any and everything. next to his signature is the faint imprint of whatever lip tint or chapstick he had on, faded to the page (a thousand and one kisses dotted on every i).

hendery gave this letter to you head on, going on and on about being serious. you weren't sure what to expect, too flustered by the sudden pull back from the rest of your friend group to notice the flash of red smothering his cheeks. and when you did read it, understanding the full extent of what he had just thrust upon your hands-- you assured him that there was no punchline.

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fertilize-my-eggs · 2 days

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The hangover part 2

Part one AO3

A/N: hope y'all enjoy this short story, I don't have any ideas for this fanfic sorry😔 I hope y'all enjoy some sweet loving from reader and shigaraki. 18+ no minors, antis and ageless blogs interact with my page thanks you!! <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

You thought about it, you were avoiding the consequences costing your leader tomura to be depressed all because you got super drunk and accidentally slept in the same bed with shigaraki.

You bite your lips, feeling tomura grind upwards, it does feel nice not gonna lie.

“ Wait right here?? Are you serious? ” I turn my quirk as he begins to smirk mysteriously.

( You want to read my thoughts more? Such a nasty pervert~) you blink fast as you look away but you nod your head as he chuckles at your shy reaction.

“ Can we do this more privately? "You cooed at him sweetly as he started to blush.

Tomura lets out a deep groan.” ….alright y/n, we're leaving~ ” he looks into your eyes with low hooded eyes as he has a lazy smile.

(You'll never be with anyone after this, you're mine and there is what is going to happen.) you squeal as he picks you up suddenly, carrying you in his arms as he walks towards the door from the roof.

(I'll eat your pussy as my meal then make you squirt all over my face~) you felt your cheeks getting red, no one can hear his filthy thoughts… the way he looked at you, deep hungry lustful maroon hue.

( Then I'll put you in a different position, choke you with my deadly hands. ) He uses his hand to stroke it softly as he look at it, we're getting closer to his room as I feel my whole face is on fire.

( You like that? I can see the look on your eye so fascinating, you want me to choke you so bad..)

“ God, I should have done this sooner. "Shigaraki chuckle as he open the door and slammed it shut.

“ who knew you were a little slut~ ” he bites your neck as you gasp for air. “ Thank God you're immune to my quirk… that means we can have more play time together~ ” he throws you on the bed as you cover your face, too flustered to speak.

You felt the bed move as he quickly decayed all of the clothes, cleaning the dust off the sheets quickly. “ don't hide.. I wanna see you. ” he gently removed your hand away as he held both hands together.

“ I need your… ” who knews a symbol of fear, the one who will destroy the hero society, this is how your leader acts? Soft pink blush crossed his face, eyes looking like a sad puppy dog waiting for a treat as he lightly pressed kisses on your skin.

“ permission to do this, are you sure?? ” he leans in as he whispers.” Do you want to be mine and mine forever y/n? Rule the world with me and destroy the heroes together as my queen? ” You smile warmly at his request to be his.

“ yes!! Yes I'll be yours tomura~ ” you accept him, you're his official and tomura feels a spark in his fire as he presses kisses to your lips.

“ mine… mine mine mine~ ” he mumbled it like a prayer, you felt his fingers gripping your side a bit tight thinking you were running away.

You felt his kisses move down south as he bit your skin and created hickey in their wake.

He pauses as he looks into your eyes as he at your entrance, you nod your head as you see him smirk at you.

His arms wrapped around your thighs, begin to feast you as his tongue flatten in a slow teasing way, your eyes roll back. Tomura growls at the taste and pulls you closer to the point that he ends up pulling you on top, you gasp from the movement as you look down to see his eyes stare back.

The look, the hunger… god you feel like you are in heaven, you roll your hips back and forth as tomura pulls you downward where your thighs can't move.

You roll your head back, the skin covered in sweat as the room smells of sex and feels heated.

You hear him groan out, your fingers comp his dull messy light hair.

“ don't stop!! Please keep going love~ ” you whimper out, feeling your high is close as if tomura couldn't ignore your pleas for more!

He can't say no to you, his nose rubs your clit as you feel his tongue inside your wall going in and out at fast paced.

The loud moans were beautiful to tomura’s ear, egging him on as you feel the pit of your stomach get tighter and hotter by the minute.

You call out his name like a prayer as you grip his hair tight, he allows you to be rough with his hair as he aggressively licks you up like it is no tomorrow.

The tie snaps in half as you feel it running over your body, you start to spaz out from the intense orgasm, you couldn't stop shaking. The liquid flow into tomura's hot mouth, he keep sucking and drinking it up like it was his special drink.

“ oh fuck~ ” you hear him groan underneath you as he push you off, he pounce on you like cat in heat.

You see his face cover your cum as he kisses your lips, it was hot and sloppy as he slid his tongue inside letting you taste yourself as you moan out.

His fingertips glide on your skin giving you goosebumps as he grabs his cock and taps the pink flustered tip to your large clit.

You gasp into the steamy making out as he moves away to look at you not hungry, lustful but passionate and concerned.

“... I thought you hated me..” he begins as he gently puts his forehead on yours as he's trying not to get emotional.

You caress his cheeks as you look at him with sadness.

“ I thought you were upset by me walking into your room at night. ” he blink at you as he begins to chuckle.

“ … huh? You… ” he couldn't look you in the eyes as he started to blush deep red, you never saw your boss in that shade of red.

“ I-I couldn't help myself that night, you're the goddess that needs to be treated like one and… ” he looked at you with hope.

“ I love you.. y/n. ” his eyes wide as he quickly covers his mouth as his blush goes up to his ears. Maybe he never told anyone that. Maybe that's why he's in a vulnerable state.

I turn my quirk on to read what he is thinking.( shit shit shit!! I blew it by saying that… she's going to leave and never talk to- ) I turn it off as I feel tears sliding down slowly as he pauses for seconds as he rubs his thumb on your cheeks.

“ Hey don't cry my l-love, I'm here. "You didn't want to hear his shaky voice as you kiss him back, putting your arms around his neck as you mumble.

“ I love you too shigaraki~ ” you hear him sob into the kiss as he holds your body closer to his as he slides inside your tight wall.

Both of you gasps out loud, the feeling of skin to skin contact feels incredible as he grinds his hips slow and deep.

You feel everything, it feels like you're connected as one as you feel his cock twitching inside your slippery walls.

He started moving faster and rough as he lightly choked your neck as you grip his wrists for the hold.

“ you're so fucking beautiful like this love, I wanna stay like this forever~ ” your eyes roll the back of your head as you moan his name, you couldn't make any words just his name and noises. Your toe curls in the sheets as you squirt on his abdomen, some of it sliding down your thighs feeling it drop to the sheets.

“ shit yeah!! Cum on my cock, do it again I-... I know you can do it~! ” he threw his head back feeling your orgasm, your wall tightening around his cock made him almost finish in second but he wanted this to last.

You couldn't form any sentences as you're on cloud nine, your third orgasm is coming faster than you thought about it.

“ please… oh fuck~ ” he look into your eyes as he rub your tears away, am I crying?

“ please what princess? ” He cooed at you sweetly.

“... ” your breathing heavy as you cry out.

“ cum inside… please cum inside of meh.. tomu~ ” you wrapped your thighs around his slim waist tight as he chuckles, you can tell by his eyes, he enjoys it.

He nips at your neck as he whispers.” as you wish my love. ” he bites your neck harshly as he grinds his hips on top of yours.

Your third orgasm hits you like a bus, you spam out letting more liquid come out of you, the bed underneath you is soaking but you didn't care, the bless feels amazing and intense.

Tomura cries out from your pussy around his cock, the feeling and he feels like he could explode.

A few hard pumps and he releases his thick heavy seed inside of you, hits your womb as you coo at him, the tender caress of his cheek as you watch him roll his hips slowly and tender.

Fucking his cum deep inside of you, pulling you close, he lay on his head as he purr like cat.

You play with his hair as you look forward for the future for the two of you, you smile at him thinking to yourself.

Maybe this was a misunderstanding and it's the beginning of a new chapter with your new lover.

The smell of steamy hot sex and sweaty, sticky feel make you cringe as he lazily look up.

“ shower? ” you ask him as he shakes his head, pulling you closer.

“... no. Let's stay like this a little longer. ”

You whine at him as he chuckles.” I feel gross and sticky tomura~ ” he look at you with fiery look in his eyes, clouded lust as you rise your brow at him.

“ ... I'm in the mood for round two..” you roll your eyes as you begin to smirk, I hold his face with this new confidence.

“ How about we have multiple rounds until morning? ” he pause looking at you, it hard to tell what his mind is going on if you had your quirk off but you can tell as he begins to smirk wide.

“ Is that a challenge? ”

“ mhmm I don't know.. are you up to that challenge mister? Or are you gonna fail from one level~” you purr at him with seductive voice as he press his lips onto yours, he chuckles dark as you blink fast, feeling like in vulnerable position by how he is looking at you.

“ challenge accepted.”

#shigaraki tomura #x reader #smut #fanfic #minors dni #mha #bnha #anime #shigaraki x reader smut #shigaraki x you #shigaraki smut #shigaraki fanfiction #chubby reader

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