#but never meeting him for sure because he died a month before she arrived in his hometown

[attractthecrows]

i think the main thing that bothers me about fanon families (because i am a picky pedant) is that for the most part, they ignore things like how said families would impact the characters and overall story. like it's one thing to add siblings and other random relations just for flavor, I can't judge there, I do it myself... but you gotta keep in mind how they slot in. who are these people related to? how are they similar? what are the common learned behaviors of the family - because they're there even if said character makes a purposeful break from said family - and how do they manifest? why and where is this person even involved in the story?

like don't get me wrong, this sort of playing around is a lot of fun. but it's fun (to me anyways) because people are so complex and there's so many facets to them, so there's all sorts of ways for their bonds with others to interact and add flavor to the plot.

[simphornies]

Angst! I choose you! (That was cringe I'm sorry 😭)

Can I please request a Vox x Female Reader where Reader protected Vox from Valentino

(PS: Val killed Reader in the process)

And because of that Velvette has to take care of a Depressed Vox

A/N: My friend and I were going back and forth on ideas for this because we love angst. I hope you guys enjoy! A part 2 will be made for this because I love you guys

Word count: 1.6k (1,611) Warnings: ANGST, valentino being a FUCKER, descriptions of violence, death, there is no mention of y/n but it's f!reader

My Beloved [ Vox x F!Reader ]

Vox got into another argument with Valentino. Both overlords had anger issues so their arguments always end up becoming explosive with glassware being thrown around. You came in as soon as you got word of their fight. When you ran into his office, it was clear that it was about you again. Valentino shoved you out of his way, glaring at you, seething with anger. He slammed the door shut but you couldn’t care any less. You ran to your lover’s side and held his hand.

“Vox? What happened?” You frowned, seeing all the broken glass. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“It’s…” He hesitated and planted a gentle kiss on your hand, “It’s nothing, baby. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll always worry, my beloved.” You held his hand close, “Is it about the shoot again?” He sighed and nodded.

“He came in here demanding I convince you to be in one of his movies. I told him no and well,” He gestured to the shattered glass that littered his office, “You see how well that fucking turned out. Fucking moth just won’t stop. I told him that there’s nothing he could ever offer for your body! He ju-” You gently tighten your grip on his hand, cutting him off. He looked at you and the worry in your eyes melted his anger away. “I’m sorry, baby. It just makes me so angry when fuckers like him think they have any right to a sweetheart like you.”

“I’m sorry I’m causing this much stress.” You said softly, “I’ll talk to him if you need me to!”

“No!” He said as his screen got brighter with his increased panic, “No, babe. It’s fine. I got it handled. I promise, okay?”

You knelt next to him, your head on his lap, “Okay. But if anything happens, I’ll always be here for you, my beloved.”

He smiled, gently caressing your head, “Of all the souls in Hell, I know that the most, my dear.”

Your relationship with Vox seemed to come out of nowhere to those that didn’t know the past he shared with you. Velvette was the first to learn about his life with you before he died. He confided in her. At first she just wanted tea on his life before Hell but it ended up with her showing genuine interest. He had been pining for you even after his death. He wanted so desperately to confess how much he loved you. You never left his mind in his final hours and when he found himself in Hell, his heart broke. He feared that he would never meet you again. This fear pushed him into trying to get into relationships with people that had the smallest of reminders of you. You were an angel to him, the gentlest soul he’d ever met. He was sure that you would go to Heaven but when he saw you aimlessly roaming the streets of Hell, he rushed to meet you. You didn’t recognize him at first glance but the moment you heard his voice, everything fell into place. He, honestly, didn’t understand how you ended up in Hell. You had to remind him that you ran his “business” with him. His love for you blinded him from your heinous crimes, almost erasing it from his memory just out of adoration for you. He got such a massive ego boost when he learned you went on a bit of a rampage after his death that led to your execution.

It wasn’t long after your arrival that the two of you entered a honeymoon phase, constantly out on dates and always being at each other’s sides. After months of flirting, teasing and a multitude of dates, Vox finally asked you out. He was bad at romance more than he’d like to admit. Without Velvette’s help, he was definitely going to change his mind. The way he asked you out made you think he was going to propose. He had petals scattered on the floor and held the sweetest flowers he could buy in Hell. He was a nervous wreck waiting for you to arrive at the location he sent. The sight of him standing disheveled in front of a giant “Will you be mine?” neon sign made you burst out into laughter. But you said yes nonetheless.

Days passed after the argument. You were walking up to Vox’s office and as you got close you heard yelling. It was Valentino starting another fight. You started to run as soon as you heard glass breaking. When you reach the doorway you see Valentino aim a glass cup at Vox.

You grabbed his arm to stop him and raised your voice. “Stop! Valentino, that's enough!”

Valentino got angrier at your attempt to stop him and he pushed you off of him, knocking you down to the ground. “Don’t fucking touch me, bitch. You’re lower than me, don’t forget that.” He hissed. Vox ran to your side and helped you up.

You scowled at him as you held your head high, “I don’t give a single shit who you are. You’re a little bitch baby that can’t take no for an answer.” You spat back.

“What the fuck did you call me?!” He yelled and began to step closer to you. Vox blocked him from getting any closer.

“Val. Fuck off. I said no and my decision isn’t going to change.”

You saw Valentino raise his hand to hit Vox. Without thinking, you pulled Vox out of the way. You barely dodged his swing, his claw scratching your cheek deep enough for it to draw blood. You growled at him and slapped him across the face. It shocked all three of you. Your confidence faded once Valentino opened his wings, his face shrouded in rage.

In the blink of an eye, he had you by the throat. You instinctively held onto his hands, trying to pry his tightening grip on your neck. His hold alone left bruises on your neck. Before Vox could reach him, Valentino flew through Vox’s balcony. He used your head to break through the glass door, making you scream from fear.

“Valentino! What are you doing?!” Vox yelled, running after him.

“Aw, what?” He teased, “You’re telling me you really give a fuck about this bitch?” He laughed, menacingly. You struggled against him and managed to get a glimpse of how high up you were. “You loved me too, remember? Before her.”

“Put her down, Valentino!” He screamed, glitching from both fear and anger. His pleas received laughter.

“You’re turning out so pathetic and soft, Vox.” He grins, blood dripping from the side of his mouth. “I’ll put her down, just for you~”

Your eyes widened at his tone and knew exactly what was coming. You looked at Vox with tears in your eyes. The fear in his eyes broke your heart. His hand reached out towards you as if he could reach you. THe only thing you could do was smile at him. He couldn’t get himself to smile back, he could only stare at you. This exchange only fueled Valentino’s rage.

“V-Vox.” You croaked out, your voice hoarse from Valentino’s grasp. “I love y-”

Before you could continue, you were suddenly pummeling towards the concrete below you.

“No!” Vox screamed at the top of his lungs.

You heard his cry for you. You heard Valentino’s cackle. As you got closer to the ground, you relaxed your body and shut your eyes, accepting what was about to happen. And then you no longer heard anything. You didn’t hear the way Vox screamed and cried. You didn’t hear the hums of electricity that came before his power outages. You died from Valentino’s rage.

All power was cut off in Pentagram City. He heard your last words. He knew what you wanted to say. After the time you shared together, you had never told him “I love you.” because of your personal past. He didn’t need to hear you say it, you both knew how much you love each other. He didn’t know that you were finally ready to tell him you love him. He didn’t know he helped you get over your past. And he’ll never get to hear you say you love him. He’ll never hear your sweet voice again. He’ll never get to make up the time he lost with you. The only time he’ll be able to hold you again was to collect you from the ground.

His heart was shattered. It was obvious to everyone around him. Vox never left his security room. He locked himself in there and drank his pain away. He played the videos he had of you, looked at your photos and longed for your smile. He’ll never hear your songs, your jokes, your laugh or see your smile. He was alone again.

The only person that managed to get into his security room was Velvette. She did her best to comfort him and get him to clean up. Everytime she went in there, the entire room would reek of alcohol and grief. As cold as her heart was, the sight of him crying at your photos and videos broke her. She grew close to you when you first came. Her first impression of you was from Vox’s lovestruck stories and meeting you was a different ride. She understood why Vox loved you the way he did. She never spoke of it but she cried with Vox when you died. She was enraged. The only thing that stopped her from killing Valentino herself was the grief.

None of the Vees spoke to Valentino for months and that pissed him off.

Tag list: @froggybich @baizzhu @dickmastersworld @matrixbearer2024 

[jgracie]

WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

masterlist | rules

♡ dedicated to giselle @pinkdiorluvr <3 our leo/ttpd/aphrodite parallels resulted in this epic crossover... love u sm !

in which leo was tame and gentle ‘til the circus life made him mean (alternatively, the one where you teach a son of aphrodite how to love again)

pairing son of aphrodite!leo valdez x roman!reader

warnings self-loathing (happy ending tho dw), ooc / dark!leo? idk tbh but this is a deep dive into his mind lowk 😭 also this is kinda long sorry in advance LMAO

on the radio . . . who’s afraid of little old me? (taylor swift), the only exception (paramore)

an aphrodite cabin leo my beloved… read the comments under this for a bit of context :) also in this they know the ghost of the battery is venus cz it fits w the story ok

If you looked up the word ‘tragedy’ in the dictionary, Leo was convinced you’d find his whole life there. It’d take up half the book, listing every event that’s ever happened in his life from the moment his mother died in that fire, her body so charred there was nothing to bury, until present time

It would talk about how after that, social services arrived, and how his aunt had refused to take him in, calling him a diablo and shouting at the social workers to take him themselves. It would talk about how none of his other relatives wanted him. It would talk about all the foster homes he’d run from, both the okay and the ugly (because they were never good. They didn’t want him either) opting to sleep under the Houston bridge for months instead. It would talk about how Leo was completely and utterly unloveable

Years of his life being this endless cycle of misery resulted in Leo toughening up. He was no longer the sweet boy who’d sit on his mother’s lap as she worked with pieces of metal, who’d run to get her a hammer or a screwdriver before she even asked for it, his heart so full of love for her he was close to exploding. No, this was a new Leo. This Leo learnt to deal with the bullies and the streets and everything else life decided to throw at him, his skin calloused and his heart cold. Sure, he was still elvish and scrawny, but he wasn’t afraid. That alone was enough

Eventually, he befriended Piper. She was nice. For once, he was around someone who didn’t seem to mind his company. But no matter how much Piper liked him, she still liked Jason more. Leo wasn’t an idiot, he knew from the moment Piper laid eyes on the perfect blond that this was her dream guy. And he was happy for her, she was his friend after all! However, he couldn’t help but resent her feelings towards him. He found himself left out again - unloveable Leonidas Valdez, that’s who he’d always be, now that his mom was gone

Then, he discovered a whole new world of Gods and monsters and for a moment in time, Leo thought everything might finally begin to click. He never fit in with the other kids in his foster homes because he wasn’t like them, he was a demigod, of course he couldn’t fit in. For the first time since his mother’s passing, Leo became an optimist. Maybe things would turn around? He’d get to meet his second parent and they’d explain it all, possibly even reward him for his perseverance? Leo toyed around with the idea, replaying the fantasy in his head. In the end, to him, just getting a glimpse of them would be enough

He got claimed as soon as he arrived. Usually, that would be considered incredibly lucky, and Leo really tried thinking of it in that way. Annabeth had told him some campers wait years for that symbol to float over their heads, to finally be able to move out of the crowded Hermes cabin and have people they can genuinely call siblings, a place they can genuinely call home

Leo would’ve been happy if his Godly parent wasn’t her. Aphrodite. What a sick joke. How could the Goddess of love be his mother? No one loved Leo, even Piper and Jason saw him as a nuisance at times. They tried to disguise it, but Leo knew. Years of being bullied had given him excellent training in reading the emotions of others. He knew that whenever the three of them were together, they wished they could be alone. He’d almost refused to sleep in cabin 10, but his new siblings grabbed him by the arms and dragged him over, excited to meet a fellow child of their mother’s

Luckily, it didn’t take Leo very long to get a quest. He, along with Piper and Jason, left Camp Half-Blood to go find and save Hera from the cage she was trapped in. Although the quest was hard and there were many times he’d come close to death, Leo was happier away from the cabin that reminded him of everything he should be and was not. The trio came back to camp just in time and immediately started planning their journey to Jason’s home, Camp Jupiter

The days Leo was building the Argo II were some of his happiest. He had an excuse to not sleep in his cabin (the Hephaestus cabin had kindly offered him bunker 9) and he was around the one thing he truly did love - machinery. The smell of oil and clang of metal reminded him of his mother, the one person who’d truly ever loved him. Sure, Leo did occasionally find himself yearning for human interaction, but every time he felt that ache in his chest, his fingertips longing to touch another, he’d push it down and continue his work. Just because he was a son of Aphrodite, doesn’t mean he deserved love. If he did deserve love, surely, he would’ve gotten it a long time ago

Soon enough, the ship was finished and Leo, Jason, Piper and Annabeth set sail for Camp Jupiter. On the boat, he felt less pressure to fit into the constraints of the stereotypical role of a child of Aphrodite, consequently becoming more like one. Away from land, he could shed the Leo Valdez who was tough and hard as stone, becoming as fluid as the sea instead. He wasn’t anywhere near as social as the others, but this time, he didn’t lock himself up in his room. He taught Annabeth about the mechanisms of the ship and teased Piper and Jason whenever he caught them kissing

From above, Aphrodite watched and hoped the Fates were feeling kindly towards her baby boy. It broke her heart watching him lose faith in love, but she couldn’t do anything about it - not with Zeus keeping a close eye on her

“Okay, I’ll show you the ship. Come with me,” Leo told Octavian - Camp Jupiter’s joke of an Oracle. The boy annoyed him, reminding Leo too much of some of the manipulative bullies he had to learn to fight back, but he knew giving him a tour of the Argo II was essential for gaining the Romans’ trust. Surprisingly, it was going well. Octavian was quiet as he examined it all, only making a few snide remarks about the ‘obviously Greek methods’ Leo had used

Then it happened. Leo felt his mind go blank and his limbs move against his will, heading for the ballistae. He tried to stop himself, but he couldn’t. He fired on Camp Jupiter

Other than Jason, who had gotten hit by a brick and was currently passed out, everyone was fine. What wasn’t fine was the fact that the Romans were no longer on their side. The others gave him accusatory glances, even though he’d insisted didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Only Piper seemed to be on his side, but even she was a little hesitant, a little confused

You were the anomaly. Leo didn’t notice you - quiet and observant, wanting to see how this would play out - until you spoke up to defend him. You, a Roman who’d just had the only home she’s ever known destroyed, who’d just been labelled an outcast by all her friends and family thanks to him, had defended Leo

“Guys, I don’t think he meant any harm,” you said, immediately silencing the other six members of the Great Prophecy. Leo’s mouth was agape, unable to say anything as you continued, “why would he fire on Camp Jupiter on purpose?” You asked, “isn’t he a part of this eight, one of us?” Then, turning to Annabeth, you said, “isn’t he your friend? Why aren’t you defending him?” She blushed and looked down at her feet, unsure of what to say

You smiled, happy that another problem had been solved, “let’s not ruin this quest before it even starts, okay? We can’t save the world from Gaia if we don’t act as a team.”

For the first time since his mother’s death, Leo felt loved. However, he knew all too well how good things never last

Leo distanced himself from you, as well as everyone else on the ship. After that day, he’d decided to coop himself up in his room and work on upgrading the ship instead, only coming out when absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, you eagerly got to know everyone else who was part of the prophecy, intrigued about the differences between Greek and Roman demigods. The one person who you desperately wanted to know, though, was Leo

No matter how hard you tried, he always seemed to escape your clutches. You’d been worried for him ever since that first day on the ship, and after finding out he built it, you were dying to know more

“Venus only appeared when Reyna was alone, so I don’t think any men can come along,” Jason said. Yet again, you were splitting up for another quest. This time, it was seeking the ghost of the Battery, who you’d deduced was Venus, the goddess of love. Suddenly, you had an idea

“Shouldn’t Leo come along? He’s her son, isn’t he? She’d show up for him,” you said, giving the boy a kind glance, which he averted. He really didn’t want to meet his mom. She didn’t care for him, so neither did he for her. If she cared, she wouldn’t have left him to fend for himself all those years. She was no better than his Aunt Rosa

Unfortunately, everyone on the ship agreed with you. Venus would probably be more helpful if her son was there. It was settled, you and Leo would go find the ghost of the Battery

The walk was awkward. This was the first time the two of you had been together since the first day on the ship. You made small talk, asking him about the ship and Camp Half-Blood. He thanked you for that day, and when you’d given him a toothy grin, your eyes sparkling, Leo felt as if Cupid had shot an arrow right through his heart. He couldn’t breathe. He’d never been more overwhelmed with love

“Lady Venus?” You said, your voice tentative as you looked around, suddenly doubting your plan. Immediately, she appeared in front of you. She was beautiful, with curly brown locks and fiery brown eyes. Her smile was kind, making you feel a warmth spread throughout your body. Then she noticed Leo. Instantly, her fiery eyes became sad, and… were those tears?

She floated past you and towards Leo, cupping his face in her hands. He flinched, about to pull away before remembering she’s a Goddess and could easily smite him if she were in a bad mood. His eyebrows remained furrowed, the crease in his forehead only deepening when she said, “my boy, my Leo. You’ve grown so beautifully.”

You could tell Leo’s relationship with his mother was strained, despite never meeting her. He scoffed, gaining the courage to remove her soft hands from his rigid face

“I am not your Leo. I am Esperanza Valdez’s Leo. She’s dead, in case you can’t recall. She died and you did nothing to stop it, nothing to ease the pain. I will never be your Leo. I’m only here for the sake of the quest, so please just tell us what we need to do and we’ll be on our way,” with every word, you could tell Venus’ heart shattered into several tiny pieces. Never in a million years did you think you’d see a Goddess look so heartbroken

She tried to reach out for him again, but this time, Leo didn’t let her, inching closer to you instead. Sighing, Venus opted to use her words, “look, I’m really sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel. I wanted to help you, really, but Zeus–”

“It’s always Zeus with you Gods, isn’t it? No, you don’t get to tell me you feel bad. You wouldn’t have survived an hour in my childhood. Do you know how horrible it felt, being wanted by no one? Do you have any idea how much it hurt finding out your own mother, the Goddess of love, didn’t do a single thing to help, choosing to leave you feeling unlovable instead? If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have given up just because of Zeus.”

Venus was quiet after that. You looked up at the sky, afraid Jupiter would strike you with his lightning bolt at this very moment, but he didn’t. With tears in her eyes, she said what was necessary and as soon as she was done, Leo got up and began walking away. You, however, stayed. You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for the Goddess, even though Leo was in the right

“He likes you,” she said, breaking the silence, “but he thinks he’s incapable of love, and it’s all my fault, I know, but I beg of you, please save my son before it's too late.” Her hand was tightly gripping yours, and you gave her a sad smile before going to catch up with Leo

You found him crying behind a bush. He had his face in his hands and sat with his knees touching his chest as horrible, gut-wrenching sobs left his open lips, desperate for some air. Calmly, you sat next to Leo. You didn’t do anything - no stupid words, no trying to fix his issues, you knew that wasn’t what he needed. Leo just needed some love. So you wrapped an arm around him and let him let it out on your shoulder

With the grass leaving indents on your skin and the light breeze cooling your bodies, Leo opened up. He didn’t say everything, but you got the gist of it all. You also got that seeing Venus face-to-face and crying afterwards had taken a load off of his back. With every word he said, Leo’s face seemed to brighten, his curls gaining shape and his eyes becoming a warmer shade of mahogany. The realisation hit you like a truck: he looked just like his mother

As the days passed, you paired with Leo for quests more often. He was more comfortable around you than any of the other crew members, which didn’t go unnoticed by them. They were glad Leo had found someone he could let loose with. Your journey across the Mediterranean continued and your friendship blossomed and bloomed, every late night conversation proving to Leo that maybe love was something he could achieve in this lifetime after all

Despite this, he kept his distance. A part of him was scared you stayed out of pity. As a son of Aphrodite, he knew that wasn’t true - he could read people like a book, after all. But he would never forget how his life is an endless loop. Just as he’d think he was finally getting a break, the universe would greet him with the worst event he’s ever experienced. Soon enough, something awful would happen. Something that’d push you away. You should be afraid of him, an unstable boy with extreme detachment issues and a history of bad relationships. What was there to love?

Everything. To you, there was everything to love about Leo. From the way he always had a piece of scrap metal to fiddle with in case he got nervous, to the way his nose would scrunch up when he’d laugh. Leo Valdez had ripped your heart out of your body and decided to keep it, and you were okay with that

Your confession had happened after Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus. Everyone was absolutely gutted, of course, but no one more than Leo. He blamed himself for their descent into the deep pits of hell, and you began to see him slowly go back to the Leo he once was, the Leo he was used to being. The difference was that this time, you were there

You forced him to give you and the others some of the watch shifts he’d assigned to himself. You made sure he ate and drank water and took care of himself. You were there to pick the pieces back up again

One night, it was just you and him

“Why do you do this? Am I not a burden to you?” Leo had asked, just as you were about to leave his room. After finding him half asleep at the wheel, you dragged him to bed, tucking him in yourself and making him swear not to leave until the morning

You turned, your eyes holding a mix of fondness and hurt. Not for yourself, but for the boy who has never looked into the mirror and seen a person worthy of loving. Your voice as clear as the sky above, you said, “because I love you. You could never be a burden to me, because I want to do this.”

“Why? Why do you love me?”

Making your way over to his bed, you sat on the edge, cupping his face, just like his mother did during your first adventure together. This time, he didn’t flinch. In fact, he seemed to melt under your touch. You felt anguish in your heart at this - no matter how much Leo insisted he should be alone, he still craved another

“Because you’re you. You’re sweet and you’re loyal and most of all, you’re so deserving of love. That’s more than enough reason for me.”

As Artemis rode her moon chariot across the starry sky, you shared a tender kiss. You saw Leo for everything he was - a black dog, a broken boy, the definition of the word ‘tragedy’, and chose to love him anyway

You weren’t afraid

[storm-angel989]

Heyyy hope you are having a great day! Could I request a Valentino x daughter fic, where the reader had just arrived in hell and he helps her adjust? Thx

-🕯anon

HAPPY WEEKEND! The editing continues (in between adulting of course!)

Enjoy!

It was the smell she couldn’t get used to. 

The scent of rotting garbage that filled her nose every time she stepped out of the V tower- every time she stepped out from under her fathers direct protection. The clangs and clamors, yellings and beepings of car horns surrounded her. It was almost like being home…except, maybe a touch more dangerous. She turned to walk away from the red limo that sat, waiting for her. She had made it this far, after all. 

Her phone rang, adding to the noisy chaos that was the pride ring. Startled, she pulled it out of her pocket and scowled at the caller ID. Of course he knew the second she stepped out of the building. 

“Uncle Vox? What’s up?”

“You left the tower without telling us, everything okay?” Vox’s voice floated through the line. 

Reader rolled her eyes as she scanned the street. “I did tell you- this morning. I have an appointment to get my school uniform fitted, remember? Dad said I have to finish high school…there was a whole discussion…” 

“Your appointment is at noon. It's eleven and it takes ten minutes for the limo to get there. You’re too early.” 

On the other end of the line, she could hear what sounded like the ting of the elevator. Fuck. She was sure he was on his way down.

“Uncle Vox, I was going to walk to the shop. And maybe stop for a coffee on the way, I mapped my route with VoxQuest before I even walked out the door.” 

“You can’t just leave the tower whenever you please sweetheart, it’s dangerous out there. This is a much different world than you’re used to.” 

The dial tone buzzed in my ear and I turned around to see Vox walking towards me. I tried to hide my scowl. Three months. I had been in hell for three months and the lack of freedom felt like chains around me. On Earth I had the freedom to come and go throughout the world as I pleased. People feared me. No one messed with me. Partially because at the end of the day, I was a nobody- just another soul scraping my way to survive. But my arrival in hell shed light on exactly who I was- who my father was. And that made simply existing dangerous. 

My father passed when I was five. My mother before that- in childbirth, or so I was told. I didn’ have very many memories of him when he was alive- and even less so of his two best friends, Velvette and Vox. And none of my mother. All I knew of them is that when they died, they left me alone in Earth’s version of hell. 

I grew up fast, like most kids in my situation. So my early death wasn’t exactly a surprise. But what was a surprise was meeting my father within the first twenty four hours of my arrival in hell. Even more so to be thrust into a life of luxury- a stark contrast from fighting to survive. 

“Ah. Not to mention you don’t know any of the good places in town. Also does your father know you drink coffee? You’re a little young- not that I’m judging.” He continued as he tucked his arm around me. “Come along now, let me escort you if you insist on walking.”

There was a part of me that chafed at the supervision. I was almost a sophomore in high school, and I had been on my own for years. But another part of me, a bigger part of me, relaxed ever so slightly, the pounding fear in my heart, the wonder if I would survive another day melted with each passing week. 

The bell rang as we entered the coffee shop and I crossed my arms uneasily. As I studied the menu I scanned for the least expensive item. I hadn’t actually planned on buying anything. Even with the bright gold credit card I now carried in my wallet, it seemed like a waste of money- an unnecessary luxury- when the apartment never seemed to run out of coffee pods. It was more the warmth, brightness and safety of the shop that I craved. The memories of warming cold hands on hot water filled cups, scraping together pennies to save for an occasional teabag. 

“What looks good to you?” Vox asked. “Their blueberry coffee is killer.”

The uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment settled in my gut. He wouldn’t understand, even if I tried to explain it.

“Just uhm, a small black coffee,” I replied as I shifted my weight uneasily. 

He raised an eyebrow, “you take cream and sugar at home.”

“Yeah but that’s extra and I don’t want…”

He gave me an odd look but reached over and squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. “Why don’t you let me pick something for you? Go find us a spot to sit, your dad should be joining us in a few moments.”

Grateful to be free of the burden of ordering, of the anxiety I couldn’t kick that surrounded paying, I slid into a window seat and watched as the crowd passed by. A few moments later I heard the bell ring and looked up as the tall figure that was my father made his way into the room.

My memory of him alive was sparse, but in death, the man was larger than life. People moved when he walked, listened when he spoke and the fear they emitted around him was practically tangible. I watched as he scanned the room, and when his eyes met mine they practically lit up.

“Bebita, darling,” he cooed as he took the chair across from me, “Vox tells me you snuck out of the tower?”

I felt myself flush, “I’m sorry Dad I…”

“Forgot?” 

He reached across the table and took my hand in his. To my surprise he gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I understand, cariño. It must be tough, going from all the freedom in the world to being locked into a cage. Let’s try to be a bit better going forward, okay? Death in this world is far more permanent than on Earth.”

“Yes, Papi,” I muttered quietly as I looked down. 

“It must be strange to you,” he continued. “It was for me, when I first entered hell. For you, it’s an even bigger change. An overnight princessa.” 

I looked up at him to meet his gaze. 

“I looked up where you lived- or at least, where they claimed you lived. The rest of my intel says you ran the streets on Earth. And at such a young age,” he continued. “So to find yourself here- thrust into the lap of luxury and comfort, no longer fighting just to put food in your tummy, that lack of adrenaline rush must leave you feeling as though something is missing.” 

“I don’t know what to do,” I blurted out. “I have everything I ever dreamed of at my disposal. And I…and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Valentino studied me. A moment later, Vox joined the table and slid a steaming cup towards me. 

“This is what I’d like to suggest,” Valentino continued, taking the proffered cup from Vox’s hands. “And what I think will help you adjust the best. Help to ease you into this new life, since what we have been doing just doesn’t seem to be helping.”

The familiar panic settled over me. Was he kicking me out? Was my lack of obedience, lack of adjustment too much for him to deal with? 

“Hey, kiddo, take a breath,” Vox said quickly with a sharp look to Valentino. “There isn’t any reason to worry.” 

“Not at all,” Valentino said with another squeeze to my hand, “I was going to suggest that when we get you fitted for your school uniform, we review the list of clubs and sports that you can partake in. I think getting you involved in something, and establishing a day to day routine will help you adjust.”

“We all have one,” Vox added as he took a sip from his mug. “A routine, I mean. And we well know those survival instincts don’t just go away overnight. Finding an alternate way to access that adrenaline will help you settle in.”

I considered as I took a sip of my coffee. Sweetness exploded on my tongue- sugar and chocolate and cream, all combined into one. It was a heavenly treat, and I almost couldn’t believe it was real. That this was real. I looked out the window for a moment.

“Bebita? Tell us, what is on your mind?” Valentino asked as he studied me, “Please. Speak.”

“I’d like to do something to help. Not everyone who ends up in hell ends up in the life I now can lead…right? There must be some way to give back, to help those who used to be in my..situation.” I said finally. 

Vox and Valentino exchanged looks. Slowly, Vox nodded.

“We can look into that, sweetheart. That could be something we do…together, if you wish?” Valentino said slowly. “It isn’t something we…I…feel comfortable letting you go out and do by yourself.”

“We could even make it a family thing,” Vox added helpfully, “get Velvette involved.”

I could feel myself start to perk up. The more hands that helped, the better, right?

“Yeah, I would appreciate that. Thanks, Dad.”

I saw him smile and I took another drink from my cup, letting the warmth spread through me. 

“We’ll get you settled in, sweetheart,” Valentino told me, “I promise.”

[kusakiguzen]

yandere yoojin x reader x platonic yandere Yoo Hyun

A/N: this is not inspired and is kinda long cuz i felt bad for not posting on the scheduled day because, I still have to study. its my first time writing so leave your feedback.

I just wanted to say there are some changes in this story and it doesn't follow the plot line completely because well i needed it to be like that i hope you understand.

Warning: NSFW, Mild Yandere stuff idk

The first time you met Yoojin was before he regressed in a cafe. Y/N forgot her wallet so he decided to be a gentleman and pay for her coffee they sat together and talked, they just clicked. Yoojin wanted to meet he again

The second time he met her was in a dungeon. Being the weakest Yoojin was mistreated a lot, here it wasn't any different either. He was being pushed around beaten up and degraded. That's when he heard the voice, the angelic voice

"Hey!! what do you think you are doin???!!"

He looked up to see her, Y/N L/N a D rank healer, the same person from the cafe, who was busy healing the injured. she was quite famous for her kindness and brutalness. She was running towards them with hardened gaze and a frown on her face

He Found Her

"What is happening her- OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY??." She asked worriedly while casting a healing on him.

"Its nothing, we were just having fun. Right... Yoojin?" some d rank hunter said looking at Yoojin

"Cut the crap, I saw. And we are leaving." Her cold voice sent shivers down the other hunters's spine, as she grabbed Yoojin's hand and started walking away with him.

'Her hand is warm.' he thought while being dragged by the H/Cnette.

That was when the obsession begin.....

Yoojin had created walls around his heart, and never trusted anyone. But you stared to slowly but surely break those walls and make your way into his heart.

You and Yoojin started dating 2 months after the day you saved him.

At the end of the second month Yoojin decided to go meet Yoohyun. And Yoojin and Yoohyun ended up arguing. He came back home and told Y/N everything that happened, and Y/N comforted him by giving little kisses all over his face as he laid on top of he, hugging her tightly. She played with his hair until they both fell asleep.

6 months into dating Y/N had reawakened became an S rank Healer giving her the title 'The Saintess'. This caused rifts between their relationship because Y/N had to constantly accompany S class hunters to dungeons. Yoojin wanted to accompany her but she would refuse saying 'Its too dangerous for you', which would always make him angry causing them to argue constantly. This caused them to break up.....

After a few weeks of the break up Yoojin decided to go in a D rank dungeon.....

But the 3 headed S class monster the Dragon appeared.....

But Yoohyun and Y/N also arrived to save Yoojin

Y/N died protecting both Yoohyun and Yoojin because she knew how much they ment to each other, but Yoohyun also died.

The day Yoojin lost his mind.... And defeated the dragon.

He wished to go back in time through the WISHING STONE

When he woke up he was back at his younger brother's guild, the first thing that came to his mind was Y/N L/N. Her last words

Its fine just stay alive and happy with your brother.... ughh- huuh...I-I love you.......

He sat there for a good minute before Yoohyun entered and he just hugged him tightly

They made up but while talking Yoojin asked Yoo Hyun

"Do you know a hunter named 'Y/N L/N'." he said looking everywhere but his brother's

"Ah yes I think I remember that name, she is a newly awakend healer a D rank if I remember correctly"

'Bingo....' thought Yoojin.

"Invite her to the guild she'll be a great help."

"How do you know her though, big brother?"

"We met at a cafe before and had a small talk, she told me how she couldn't find a guild to work with, she didn't know i was your brother tho...." Yoojin ended while picking up some food and eating it.

"Really are you sure she wasn't pretending?" Said Yoohyun who brought out the rope to tie Yoojin

"Nope, Didn't give her my full name. So she couldn't have known." screech Yoojin while Yoohyun tried to tie him up.

After calming him down.... Yoohyun decided to go and meet Y/N L/N.

After meeting Y/N he finally knew what his brother ment

Y/N L/N was just so kind and warm, like the Sun. Glowing brightly when she smiles..... Wait- DOES HIS BROTHER LIKE HER??!!

Yoohyun straight up asked Y/N if she liked his brother and it was comical

( you are pink and Yoohyun is purple)

Do you like my brother?

Ummm who exactly is your brother if i may ask?

Yoojin, Han Yoojin is my brother.

Umm... aaa.. you- how... huuuuhhh Yes yes i do

I see have a great day then

Yes you too sir.

Y/N said while thinking of digging a whole and burying herself in it .

Yoohyun then left satisfied.

Y/N met Yoojin at a cafe where she forgot her wallet and Yoojin was kind enough to pay for her coffee.

Feeling guilty Y/N decided that she should return the favor since Yoojin was sitting alone. She sat with him and they got along well....

After saying there Goodbyes. Y/N couldn't help but think about Yoojin often. While eating, drinking and even before going to bed. Yoojin occupied her mind 24/7

That's when Y/N realized it was love at first sight..... She had never experienced this it was weird. so she started searching for him, it was harder then expected since she only got his first name.

In amidst of this Y/N awakened. She was on cloud nine, she could finally find him.

After this she encountered Yoohyan, Yoojin's brother. To he delight he was also looking for her!!! She was so happy by this revelation but alo embaressed by how Yoohyan approached her.

Lets just say after meeting Yoojin again and joining The World Edge Guild. It wasn't long before they started dating.

Y/N met Yu Myengwoo, Park Yerim, Peace, Blue and Chirpy.

Safe to say they all turned yandere for you aswell.

Yoojin hated it when you go to dungeons with him or Yoohyun. Can't you see how dangerous Dungeons are. He just wants to protect you. Sure you will become an S Ranked hunter in the future but you're still a D rank right now, its dangerous can't you see?

Yoohyan agrees with his brother, its dangerous for you. You are just so fragile... And he didn't want you to get hurt either because his brother would be sad! He doesn't want either. After all you are his future sister-in-law

But you still continued do accompany them saying you want to be there to heal them if they ae injured. So stubborn, Not talking them if they refuse! God!!! can't you see??!!

The last straw was when Yoojin was in the the dungeon with Noah, his sister Riette, the Jupiter guild's Guild master, Sung Hyunjae, and a few extras. After defeating the Dungeon boss Yoojin getting 'kidnapped' by Riette and while defeating the 'puppet dragon' Vicus Y/N had gotten hurt but not too much, while she was healing all of them Yoojin was using his skill on Vicus and lost conciousness. Y/N lost conciousness with him meeting the Actual Dragon. You suffered with him all the torture just because you couldn't leave him alone.....

After that incident Yoojin had decided it is no longer safe for you to go in dungeons any more but you won't listen, so there is only one way to top you

By getting you pregnant.

You and Yoojin did have sex before but never this rough. He would usually take it slow and deep but this was on another level

Thrusting himself in and out while using his tentecles to hold your hands and legs in place, cumming in you multiple times. but he just couldn't stop thrusting himself in you. Again and again and again, he just kept going .

At this point you were seeing stars, saying incoherent babbles, drooling and that beautiful flushed face. God you were such a beautiful mess in Yoojin's eyes.

He looked at yo stopping for a second to drink the magic potion, He couldn't take his eyes off you. Your whole body filled with hickeys and bite marks, marked by him.

He then slowly pulled, His cum along with yours gushing out of your pussy, but was quickly plugged by the tentecle.

You have never felt this much pleasure in your life. After being fucked till almost sunrise, you finally passed out. Yoojin looked at the beautiful sight beside him. He just knew you would be pregnant.

He was right. You missed your period this month and decided to take the test.

It was positive. You immediately scheduled a doctor's appointment to confirm. You went there alone because you were scared of what will be Yoojin's and other's reaction if you were actually pregnant.

The doctor confirmed you indeed were pregnant. You didn't know how to feel about this. On one hand you were happy to start a family with Yoojin but on the other hand you were scared.

You went home and decided to tell Yoojin first. He was chilling on the couch with Peace and chirpy when suddenly, Peace jumped on your lap and started to cuddle your stomach.

(you are pink and yoojin is blue)

Yoojin can we talk?

Of cource Darling. Is something wrong?

I'm...I'--m ..I'm

Yes??

I'M PEGNANT

Huh....Huh HUUUUHHHH??!!?!?! OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER!!! Y/N you just made me the happiest man in the world .... *sniff* *sniff*

So you aren't mad?

Of course not! what made you think that?

i just thought you wanted to wait....

I love you and i'll love the little one too

With that you both decided to tell Yoohyan next by giving him a small onesie saying "You Are Going To Be An Uncle". He cried huging you and Yoojin both saying 'Thank you' again and again.

Everyone was happy from the news.

If you thought there protectiveness was bad before, its worse now. You have to be accompanied by someone everywhere you go, even in the bathroom.

Its for your safety and the safety of the unborn child.......

Well you aren't complaining because everything is under your feet. If you want the world, they will give it to you on a gold platter.

So what is there to complain?

The funny part? You don't even realize the fact that you are being isolated. That's how good Yoojin is at manipulating you. To the point he had made you believe that you staying home is a good thing.

Just greet them with a smile when they return from mission/dungeons.

That's all you need to do......

A/N: OH MY GOD FINALLYYY!!!!! leave a comment bout how good it was since it was my first time writing. if you have any requests feel free to Dm me here.

Hope You Enjoy.

[senlinyu]

Since ao3 is down, here is a thing that was supposed to be a twitter drabble but it got too long so I forgot about it for eight months.

Dying Wish

//open ended, pining Draco, theomione, Dramione (vaguely), Tragic Theo.

Almost everyone said that Theodore Nott marrying Hermione Granger was unexpected but not surprising. Theo had always been academically insufferable, and Granger was infamously so. The relationship could have almost been called inevitable.

Everyone had stories about the absurdly saccharine workplace romance that unfolded. Coworkers by coincidence, they both showed up for a cancelled meeting, the waiting led to a shared project, and from there a whirlwind relationship.

They were engaged within a year.

A beautiful couple, a perfect match. Despite Theo possessing the near fatal flaw of having been in Slytherin, he compensated for any suspicion held by Granger’s friends by having a tragic life story practically from the moment of conception. A mother who’d died horribly young, and a monster of a father who’d always considered his son a bitter disappointment.

Theo had never taken the Dark Mark, he’d played no part in the war. He was self-deprecating and funny, and knew how to make people like him because he cared about people liking him. The kind of man who was perfectly happy to become ‘Hermione Granger’s husband,’ unlike the previous boyfriends who always wanted her bright but not ‘too bright’.

Draco was happy for Theo. In a very detached and uninvolved way. He wasn’t such a cunt that he would resent his best friend for finding love, even if it was with a person he habitually went out of his way to avoid.

Granger was, after all, a menace with a vicious protective streak, and a known right hook. Draco, in fact, knew it personally. No one was ever going to hurt Theo again, she would make sure of it.

Theo, for his part, had spent his entire life looking for someone who’d let him love them completely. Someone to give his heart and soul to. His adoration for Granger was nauseating, an ocean of unplumbed depths.

The stars seemed to align for them, every piece falling into place to create a perfect match: Two positively revolting swots joined in matrimonial bliss, happy as could be.

No one asked Draco if he wanted to be in excruciating proximity to the entire affair, and yet he somehow was. He helped Theo plan his proposal, and then had to listen to Theo practise his speech over and over without wincing, and then illuminate over five hundred fairy lights , cue a quartet, and then fling a garden’s worth of rose petals into the air, before apparating silently away.

He was the best man. He planned Theo’s stag night. Slapped him across the face when he started hyperventilating, kept the rings from getting lost, and signed as witness to the union.

When it was done and they were off on their honeymoon, he left the reception, and went to Greece for six months in order to detox from the entire revolting affair.

When he finally forced himself to go back, he coddled himself by ignoring most of their invitations, and only accepted the ones where he could arrive late and leave early and barely speak to the hosts.

Eventually Theo stopped bothering him.

After all, it was bad enough to hear how revoltingly happy they were together without seeing them.

Malfoys were emotionally repressed on principle. His father used to say that falling in love was something only poor people did.

If Draco had to witness Granger making cow eyes at Theo, he would suffer indigestion, and his mother had always said he was constitutionally delicate.

He didn’t particularly like company anyway, and Theo’s friends were mostly Granger’s friends, which was not a circle Draco ever felt comfortable in.

His uninvolvement was going swimmingly until he received a short, informal note in shaky writing.

‘I need to see you. Please come. Theo.’

Draco had always been better at refusing formal invitations than personal ones. What the fuck would Theo suddenly want? After all these years?

He tried to ignore it, but the vagueness ate at him, niggling at his curiosity until he gritted his teeth and apparated to Nott manor.

Instead of an elf, or a butler at least answering the door it was Granger herself who opened it.

“Malfoy, you’ve finally come. Theo will be so relieved.”

He swallowed hard.

It had been a few years since he’d seen her in person. Wasn’t she supposed to be blissfully married? Weren’t happy people supposed to glow or something?

She’d been glowing at the wedding. Draco remembered all clearly the way her face had lit up when all the lights illuminated and music started, and Theo, despite Draco’s repeated warnings, was on his knees reciting a poem he’d written for her.

Draco had nearly died from second hand embarrassment.

The memory of how happy she’d looked while Theo compared her to the moon in iambic pentameter before hundreds of people, had been seared irrevocably into his skull. It would probably still haunt when he was a ghost.

She was not glowing at all now. She looked sad, and tired.

“Granger,” he said, even though he was excruciatingly aware that she was married.

He expected her to correct him out of habit, and then he’d retort that she would always be Granger to him, and then they would exchange empty banter and it would pass as conversation, but instead she just said, “Theo’s upstairs,” and led the way.

Draco expected to be led to a study, or a horrible mad scientist type lab designed for two, but instead it was a dark bedroom.

Draco baulked at the doorway, and Granger went in. He could hear the hushed murmur of voices and then she came back.

“He’s awake and having a good day, call if you need anything.” Then she left him there.

Draco watched her vanish back down the stairs before setting his jaw and entering the room. Theo was pale as a sheet, propped up with pillows, his face lit up at the sight of Draco.

“You did come, you old bastard.”

“Yes,” Draco said awkwardly. “Is Granger finally poisoning you for your family fortune?”

He’d prefer to avoid greetings or comments about how long it had been, or asking what was wrong. It was clear that something was incredibly wrong. Theo was thin and greyish, everything about him faded, not at all the picture of health Draco had assumed he would be.

That he was supposed to be.

Theo gave a wan smile. “I wouldn’t blame her, but no. My mother, you might not remember, it was a maladiction that killed her. Apparently I inherited it. Another thing my father didn’t manage to beat out of me.”

Draco’s chest clenched. “Theo, I’m—”

Theo shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve—worked through it. Mostly. There are stages to grief apparently. That’s what the books say. I’ve moved through denial, anger, bargaining and depression. It’s not entirely a linear process but I’m mostly at the acceptance point now. Figured we should say goodbye.”

Draco just stared at him. “You can’t be serious. You invited me here for goodbyes? Fuck off. You can’t just give up like that. You’re married. You have a wife, you can’t die and leave—“

“If there was a fucking cure, Hermione would have found it,” Theo cut him off, his usually soft voice hardening in a defensive way that startled Draco. “We’ve looked. We’ve tried everything. You’d know that, if you’d ever come around. She’s been trying for years. Admitting she couldn’t—she tried so hard.”

Draco felt like he’d been struck. “I—I’m sorry. Of course you did. I’ve been away. Busy. I have responsibilities.”

Theo rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “It’s alright, I know now why you didn’t.”

Theo sat up slowly. His body seemed shrunken, like a breath of wind could carry him away. “That’s why I needed to see you. I wanted to apologise. I’m sorry for not realising it sooner. I should have. Looking back—it’s so obvious.”

Draco forced a laugh. He had no idea what Theo was talking about but he was really not enjoying the conversation.

“Realising what? What’s obvious?”

“That you’re in love with Hermione.”

Draco’s entire body went stiff, something inside him crumbled and died as his heart stopped completely. His voice failed him the first several times he tried to speak. He looked away, clearing his throat repeatedly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You sound mad.” He fidgeted with the potions on Theo’s bedside table, peering at them. “What kind of potions does Granger have you on?”

Theo slumped back, his eyes fluttering closed, his eyelids looked almost bruised with exhaustion. “I think back a lot. Mostly the years since the war, once my father was gone and things were getting better. I was remembering how much time we used to spend together. You were doing community service for probation, that elves thing Hermione founded. And I was going from one bad relationship to the next like some sad puppy.” He opened his eyes. “I was remembering how whenever I told you about anyone I dated, you always used to sneer and said they weren’t good enough for me, and gave the worst relationship advice ever. You Sabotaged me.”

“You had terrible taste,” Draco retorted, still sorting through the potions and still not liking at all the direction the conversation was going in. “It was a mercy on my part.”

“When I told you about Hermione, that I ran into her, and I asked you what you thought, do you remember what you said?”

“I can’t say I do,” Draco lied.

“You said I’d never be good enough for her. Then the next week, you came around again, and I remember you looked terrible and I assumed you’d had another fight with your parents, and you told me if I was serious, I should get a job at the Ministry, mentioned the rumour she’d had a time-turner at school. She was the only person you gave useful relationship advice about. Looking back, I don’t think it would have happened without you. Any of it.”

“Theo—“ Draco shifted awkwardly, having run out of potions to look at, “—it was just a joke, You can’t assume things like that. Granger? Really? Of anyone I could have feelings for. Your wife?” He exhaled raggedly. “Have you forgotten our history? Unlike you, I was a Death Eater. I was in the war. Even before then, I was awful, and they brought her to the manor and I—“

He’s rambling, he knew he was rambling. He needed to fucking shut up.

“I would never have been able to—“ His voice failed and there was a stone lodged in the bottom of his throat and he just stood there trying to keep from smashing everything within reach.

He needed a drink.

He threw a hand up, suddenly angry and turned on Theo, glaring. “It was just a fucking joke. I don’t even remember it.”

Theo simply nodded. “You were right though. I wasn’t good enough for her.”

Draco scoffed at that, turning away, inspecting the view. “I’m sure you did just fine. I always heard that you two were revoltingly happy. People said you were like some storybook couple. You two were good for each other—that’s really all that—“

He was stammering again.

He cut himself off. “You were happy together. Everyone said you made her happy. And I don’t do happiness, it gives me a rash.”

“Shut up,” Theo’s voice sharpened. “Fuck. I forgot how much you talk when you’re lying.”

He gave a heavy sigh. “You wanted us together, didn’t you? You engineered it.”

Draco gave a long suffering sigh. “Theo, you’re a moron. Just because you claim to be dying doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with a conspiracy theory that I’m in love with your wife.”

“Fuck off. You were my only friend, and you were the only reason I didn’t accidentally sabotage the relationship. All the times I would have rushed things, you stopped me. You were the reason why I managed to pull off all my harebrain romantic schemes. You made it work. And somehow I ended up married with the friends and family I always wanted, that you knew I wanted, and where the fuck did you go? Where have you been since then? Not here, that's for sure.”

Draco glanced out the window. “You wanted a new start, Theo. It was all you talked about once your father was in Azkaban. I was the past. Once you were married, you didn’t need me anymore. I was a hindrance.”

“You manipulated me,” Theo said, looking unreasonably infuriated for someone who’d gotten to marry the love of his life. “You self-loathing fuck. You thought you had it all worked out, had everything puppet-mastered. You nudged me right into her path to love her for you. Pushed us together so you would be alone the way you’ve convinced yourself you deserve to be.” He sounded winded. “Fuck. I’d punch you if I had the strength. And the thing I’m the most pissed off about, is that I was so enamoured, I didn’t notice. I thought it all worked perfectly that time because it was meant to.”

If Theo was expecting a confession he was going to be terribly disappointed.

“Maybe it did. I don’t know what you expect me to say about any of this. Even if any of that were true, what does it matter?”

“It matters,” Theo said.

Draco rolled his eyes.

“It matters because you have to take care of her when I’m gone.”

Draco’s heart stalled for a second time, but he recovered faster. “I’m sure you can get everything arranged in advance so she’ll be fine.”

“That’s what I’m doing right now. I can’t ask her friends to do this. They love her, but they don’t understand how to care for her. She takes care of everyone, but she doesn’t remember to take care of herself. She needs someone to be selfish for her, who will do whatever it takes to put her first. I can’t be your proxy anymore, it has to be you now.”

Draco’s neatly manicured nails were biting into his palm, he didn’t even know when his fists had clenched. “Theo…”

“I have spent so much time worrying about her, feeling like I can’t go because who’d be here to make sure she was alright. I’ve considered everyone, and when I got to you, I brushed you off at first, because you used to talk about how you couldn’t stand her. But eventually I wondered, why did you do so much to bring us together? If you really hated her so much. You always knew what she’d like. You figured things out about her that it took me ages to piece together. And you’re actually a rather shit liar, now that I’ve been thinking about it, if you’d really hated her, you would have been a lot nastier than you were.”

“I still don’t see the point in this conversation,” Draco said in a bored tone. “Granger can take care of herself. Especially with your fortune.”

Theo exhaled, like he was too tired now to fight anymore. “You are missing the point on purpose and we both know it.”

Draco did not know any such thing, still it was difficult to keep looking at Theo and he turned away.

“You did a good job at it. I’ll admit, you are the manipulative person I have ever known, if I weren’t dying, I probably would have never known. But now it’s my turn to be manipulative.”

“Well a good rule of thumb is not to tell the person you’re trying to manipulate that you’re doing it,” Draco said in a dry voice, turning to face him.

Theo was holding up his wand and had a wry smile on his face. “Fair enough. But I do have one final piece of leverage.”

Comprehension slowly dawned on him. “Theo, don’t you—“

“Draco Malfoy, it is my dying wish that you care for my wife when I am gone. Support her in her grief, and help her find joy in her future. Be there for her once I can’t be. Help her find herself again. Do you accept?”

Death Wishes were magic out of old grimoires. The kind that only insufferable people like Theo Nott would know how to perform.

Usually they were curses pronounced as the person died, but a rare iteration was rather like an Unbreakable Vow, if Draco refused, Theo would not pass on after death but instead linger as a ghost, attempting to fulfil the wish himself. If Draco accepted and then broke his word, Theo would come back from the afterlife and haunt him.

Bullshit all around either way.

Theo’s wand pulsed with magic, waiting for Draco’s answer.

Draco stood glaring at him. “I hate you.”

Theo glared right back. “If you weren’t such a self-sabotaging, self-loathing moron I wouldn’t have to do this. You think I want you hanging around my wife? I don’t. But being your proxy was also a shit realisation, consider this my way of getting even. You will make Hermione happy and you will get over your self-hatred and do it yourself this time or I will haunt you and I will make sure Hermione knows exactly why it is that I’m doing it. Do you accept?”

The magic was humming louder, growing brighter and Theo was beginning to turn translucent as though the magic was draining his life from him.

“Fine. Yes! I accept.”

The magic flared out and flew across the room, striking Draco and fading into him. He clutched at his chest but the light had gone.

He looked up.

“Fuck you, you manipulative bastard,” Draco finally said, his heart was pounding.

Theo just gave another wry smile. “You know, that’s exactly what I wanted to say when you walked in.” He sank back into bed, looking winded. “I’m glad you came to see me. I was starting to worry you wouldn’t and I was going to have to come up with a whole extra scheme. You saved me a lot of trouble. All worth it for Hermione though, right?”

Draco turned without another word and headed toward the door, desperate to be gone, even though he could feel Theo’s wish like a brand inside his soul waiting to come alive.

“You should go see Hermione,” Theo’s voice followed him, already threatening to haunt him. “You know, she admitted once to fancying you a bit back when you were volunteering at the charity. She’d planned to ask you out, but you never came around after your probation was over.”

[fanfictionalraven]

Reno

Title: Reno

Summary: The reader and Dean were best friends until one fateful night. Now she needs his help on a particularly difficult case but can they work together?

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer

Word Count: 2,928

Warnings: Angst

Author’s Note: This story was originally posted by myself under the account Winchestersgirl92. It was published in 2017.

You sigh, running your hands over your face, as you lean back in the chair of yet another dusty, old motel room. A couple of takeout boxes sit next to your laptop on the table, untouched. You weren’t hungry anymore. A fourth victim had just been found.

You had rolled into town two days ago, confident you had a case on your hands. An easy case at that. Three victims, all weird, unexplainable deaths. At the morgue, you’d discovered a hex bag with each of the bodies. So, you returned to your room and settled into your research, trying to connect the dots. You’d spent the last two days retracing every step the three victims had taken but nothing panned out. Every lead you found was a dead end and, because of you, another person was dead.

You grab your phone and quickly find the contact you need. DEAN. Your finger hesitates before you change your mind and scroll back up to BOBBY. You press his name and put the phone to your ear, closing your eyes as it rings. 

“Yea,” Bobby says. You can’t help but smile at the gruff voice on the other end of the line. You had known Bobby Singer for most of your life. He’d been a close friend of your father’s which practically made him your uncle.

“Hey, Bobby,” you say into the phone. You can almost hear the smile in his voice when he answers you.

“Y/N. How’ve you been?” He asks. You sigh and shake your head, knowing he can’t see you but your silence speaks volumes. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ve got a case I can’t crack. Need some help,” you tell him. “A witch in Hastings, Nebraska. Should be easy enough but I can’t figure out who it is and someone else just died. I was gonna call Dean but I don’t think he’ll answer.”

“Well…I got him and Sam here now. I’ll send them out your way,” he tells you. You frown slightly, confused.

“Sam? But I thought –”

“Long story, kid. You’re about four hours away right now. Dean can make that in about two and a half,” he says. You thank him and set the phone back down, leaning back in your chair again.

Sam Winchester had died. Bobby had told you himself just a couple months ago. Sam had been like a brother to you and hearing of his death had hit you hard. But you knew it was nothing compared to what Dean was going through. His whole life had been dedicated to making sure his little brother was safe and taken care of. You had tried to call Dean then but all your calls went unanswered. You had been worried but you knew Bobby would keep an eye on him.

Now Sam was alive. You were overjoyed, of course, but a piece of you was anxious. You hoped it had all been a misunderstanding. Sam had never really died. He’d just slipped far enough away that everyone thought he had died. But you knew better. You’d been in the life long enough to know that there are ways. Dean knew these ways and would stop at nothing to get his little brother back.

You sigh again and close your laptop. You had a couple of hours before Sam and Dean would arrive and you were beat. The bed was calling your name loud and clear so you answered, falling face first onto it. Sleep overtakes you quickly, as do the nightmares.

You jolt awake, a few hours later, sitting upright immediately. You squeeze your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath. Just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real. 

“Alright there, Y/N?” A voice asks from across the room. Your eyes shoot open and you reach for your gun before freezing as your Y/E/C eyes meet green ones. Eyes you hadn’t seen in years. You swallow hard as your hand slowly withdraws from the gun.

“How the hell did you get in here?” You ask, never tearing your eyes away from him. He shrugs.

“Saw your car outside. Told the man at the desk I was meeting with the girl in room 12 and he gave me a key. You should probably start staying at more reputable places,” he tells you. The two of you stare at each other in silence for another minute before the door opens, drawing your attention. Sam steps in through the door, three cups of coffee and a white bag in his hands. He smiles widely when he sees you awake.

“Hey!!” He says, setting everything down on the table. You jump up from the bed and rush over to him, throwing your arms around him tight. He laughs lightly and returns your embrace, squeezing you slightly. “Haven’t seen you since –,” he stops, thinking, and you let him go, looking up at him.

“Since you left for Stanford,” you say. His face falls slightly and you reach up, putting your hands on his cheeks. You study his face and find it hasn’t changed much over the years. His hair is a little longer and his eyes a little sadder. You let him go then turn for the table, grabbing one of the cups. Sam opens the bag and pulls out a donut, handing it to you.

“Hope you still like jelly,” he says. You smile widely and kiss his cheek.

“God, I’ve missed you, Sam,” you tell him. He laughs as you walk over to the bed. You sit down and start on your breakfast, feeling Dean’s eyes still on you. Sam glances between the two of you as he picks up his own cup.

“When was the last time you two saw each other?” He asks. You open your mouth to answer when Dean cuts you off.

“August 15th, 2005. Reno,” he says. You frown at the memory and look up at him, his eyes boring into yours.

You had met the Winchester family through Bobby when you were about 18 and you and Dean had instantly clicked. It was like you had known each other your entire lives. He quickly became your best friend and you spent the next few years tagging along on hunts with them. As you’d grown older and Sam left for college, the two of you were inseparable. Partners on every hunt you took on and damn good at it too. And then…Reno. You hadn’t seen each other or spoken since.

You blink back tears and look back at your cup of coffee quickly, clearing your throat.

“Right, so, dunno what Bobby told you. Three vics when I got here. Hex bags. I can’t figure out who it is. Fourth victim was found early this morning. I haven’t actually checked out this body yet,” you explain before taking a long drink from your coffee. Sam nods and looks at Dean.

“You two wanna hit the morgue and I’ll see what I can dig up?” He asks. Dean looks at his brother and Sam frowns. “Or…Y/N and I can go to the morgue.” You stand, finishing off your donut, and look at Sam.

“Let me freshen up and change,” you tell him. He nods and watches you walk into the bathroom as Dean stares out the window.

************************************************************************

You and Sam leave the motel in your car. You glance over at him as you drive through the town and he smiles at you.

“I was sorry to hear about John. Bobby told me what happened. I would have called but I didn’t have your number anymore,” you tell him. His smile falls slightly and he shrugs, looking out the window.

“That was a while ago. You adjust,” he says. “You could’ve called Dean.”

“Dean doesn’t answer when I call anymore,” you say, plainly. He looks back over and you feel him watch you, waiting for an explanation. You don’t offer one as you continue to drive in silence.

The two of you get to the morgue and you introduce Sam to the medical examiner as your partner. He takes the lead, asking the same questions you had about all the other victims. The ME gives you a small plastic bag containing the same hex bag you’d retrieved from the other three bodies. You go back out to the car and start towards the fourth victim’s house to speak with her husband. You glance over at Sam as he carefully takes apart the hex bag.

“You’re gonna make me ask, aren’t you?” You ask him. He looks up at you, confusion evident on his face. You sigh and look forward as you drive. “Bobby called a couple months back and told me you were dead, Sam.” You look over at him again and watch his confusion evaporate. Heartache takes its place and you look forward again quickly. “What did he do?” You ask, your voice quiet. Sam hesitates, seeming to debate whether or not he should tell you. “Sam. What did he do?” You ask again.

“Demon deal. He’s got a year. Less than now,” he tells you. You stare dead ahead, gripping the steering wheel tighter.

Of course he made a deal. You’d known deep down he’d done something but hearing the words seemed to take your breath away. Less than a year and he’d be dragged to Hell. Less than a year and the man you – your best – Dean would be gone forever. You tried to picture your world without Dean. Sure the last couple of years you hadn’t had him around, but you’d always known he was alive. You knew that if you decided to, you could find him. This would be completely different.

“What happened in Reno?” Sam asks suddenly, pulling you from your thoughts. You look over at him quickly then shake your head, looking at the road again. “Dean, doesn’t even talk about you anymore. I actually thought you were dead until Bobby mentioned you once.”

“It’s a long story,” you say quietly. You pull the car into the latest victim’s driveway and look up at the house. “Can you…”

“Yea, I’ve got this. Call you when I’m done,” he says before getting out of the car. As soon as he closes the door, you throw the car into reverse and peel out of the driveway. You drive straight back to the motel. You don’t know what you’re going to say or do but you can’t just do nothing.

You kill the engine and climb out of the car. You slam the door, suddenly very angry, as you march up to your room. Fighting the key with trembling hands, you finally manage to get the door open before stepping into the room. You slam that door as well and see Dean jump, exactly where you two had left him that morning. He watches you for a moment before closing the laptop calmly and leaning back.

“A year?” You ask, voice trembling. He shrugs, nonchalant.

“Ten months now,” he says. You shake your head, staring at him. You can feel the lump in your throat rising, bringing with it the tears you didn’t want him to see.

“How could you?” You ask plainly. He shrugs again. Is all he can do shrug??

“I couldn’t do it without Sammy,” he says. “I wouldn’t.”

“And what is he supposed to do?! Did you think about that?! What is watching you get drug to Hell going to do to him?! To Bobby?! T–to me?!” You ask. He lets out a laugh as he pushes way from the table, rising to his feet.

“I think you’ll make it just fine, Sweetheart,” he says, walking over to the mini fridge. You shake your head as you watch him.

“What does that mean?!” You ask. He slams the door to the fridge closed and turns to face you, anger on his face.

“You left me, Y/N. No note. No text. No phone call. I woke up one morning and you were gone,” he says. “I thought someone or something had taken you. Then Bobby calls me, demanding to know what the hell I did to you cause you told him you never wanted to see me again. Do you know what that did to me?!”

“You asked me to marry you, Dean!! What the hell was I supposed to do?!” You ask. He stares at you, bewildered.

“Giving me an answer would have been a damn good place to start. Instead, you sleep with me then run off in the middle of the night,” he says. You shake your head and wipe at your cheeks furiously, the tears finally falling freely.

“We’re hunters. This life is too dangerous to get involved with someone, you know that. That’s why we never crossed that line, Dean. And then suddenly you’re saying that we should get married and I just – we would have regretted it,” you say, looking at him. Immediately, you regret that decision. His heart breaks across his face and he shakes his head, stepping towards you.

“There’s a lot of things I regret in my life, Y/N. But you – you’re not one of them. You never could be,” he says, his voice suddenly soft and tender. He crosses the room and takes your hands in his, gently squeezing them. You watch as he brings your hands up to his lips and kisses your knuckles lightly.

“Dean,” you say, shaking your head. You attempt to pull your hands away but he tightens his grip and pulls you closer to him. He reaches up with one hand and brushes your hair back from your cheek.

“I’ve got 10 months. You gonna make me spend them alone?” He asks, quietly. You close your eyes, his breath washing over your face.

“That’s not fair. I get 10 months with you then I’m left alone. What am I supposed to do then?” You ask, looking back up at him. He runs his thumb over your cheek gently and shrugs.

“Whatever you’ve been doing the last two years,” he tells you. He leans in, pressing his forehead against yours. You reach up, taking his face in your hands. His hands find your waist and he pulls you flush against him. You slide your hands down his neck and to his chest where you grab two fistfuls of his shirt. He leans in, his nose just brushing against yours. 

“I can’t,” you whisper, pushing away from him abruptly. You turn away from him, running your hands over your face. He grabs you by the elbow and spins you back around to face him.

“Stop that! Stop pretending that we meant nothing!” He snaps. You jerk your arm away from him quickly and glare up at him.

“I’m not pretending, Dean! There never was a ‘we’! We were friends! Just friends!” You yell. He stares at you, wide eyed. “I am sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have left you the way I did. I never meant to hurt you that way.”

“And I never meant to fall in love with you but clearly, we both made mistakes,” he spats, venom in his words. You stare at him then, certain that everything you’re feeling is written on your face. Shock. Dean loves me. Joy. Dean loves me! Heartache. He said it was a mistake. You swallow hard and wipe at your eyes, trying to reign your emotions back in. You look down, staring at the toe of his boots.

“I have never had any feelings for you, Dean,” you tell him. He snorts a laugh and shakes his head. You look back up at him quickly.

“When you can look me in the face and tell me that, I might actually believe it,” he says, walking back across the room to the mini fridge again. He opens it and grabs one of the beer bottles you’d put in there when you first got to the motel. You feel the anger begin to bubble up in your chest again as you watch him smugly take a drink from the bottle.

“How dare you. You’re going to stand there and try and tell me you love me when you’re asking me to do this? To watch you die? How is that love, Dean? That’s just – that’s selfish! If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask me to stay,” you snap. Dean’s face falls slightly, probably realizing you’re right, but you don’t care. You quickly make your way around the room grabbing your clothes and equipment. “I knew calling you was a mistake,” you mumble, shoving a sweater into your bag. You feel a hand on your elbow and you sigh, closing your eyes. “You and Sam can handle this, right?”

“Of course,” he says quietly. You nod and zip your bag up quickly. You throw it over your shoulder and turn, looking up a him. 

“I am sorry,” you tell him. He nods and reaches up, gently placing his hand against your cheek again. 

“Me too,” he says. Instinctively, you turn into his hand, squeezing your eyes closed. You place your hand over his then press a chaste kiss to his palm. 

“Bye, Dean,” you whisper, stepping out of his touch. You turn for the door quickly, not wanting to risk one last glance at him. Struggling to keep it together, you leave the room and get into your car. You throw it into gear and just like that you drive off, leaving the man you loved – your best friend – Dean Winchester, in your past again. 

Read Reno - Before here.

[lake-cosay]

Jesslake Demigod/PJO AU

hi so. finally making a real post about this.

i apparently made this au like 2 years ago but the pjo brainrot came back and i've been hyperfixating on this au again. while it does also feature my OCs this post is about the jesslake au

for clarity, this au takes place in the world of the Percy Jackson books, and assumes the canon story of the books is finished. it takes place in about 2020 (pjo canon is currently around 2011 ish). You don't need to have read the books to understand the au (I haven't) but. some knowledge of the universe will definitely help

most of my notes about the au are in the images, but here's a rough timeline of the major events: (it's long)

Jesse is born in 2005. he is raised by his mom and his mortal/adoptive father, whom he knows isn't his bio dad but treats him like it anyways. he doesn't know he's a demigod or who his bio dad is

Lake and Tulip are born in 2006. they both struggle as babies, but Lake much more so; they nearly die. Hephaestus, their father, dips Lake in the River Styx, giving them the Curse of Achilles, though theirs works a little different (more details on that later/in another post)

Hephaestus sends Lake to Camp Half-Blood to be raised there. (Chiron serves as a father figure to Lake, and they actually get along pretty well.) Tulip never finds out she has a twin until she arrives at camp.

Lake lives at CHB their whole life growing up. Sometime around the age of 8-10ish, they encounter the flecs for the first time. In this au, they were people but were cursed to become monsters, and still hunt Lake relentlessly. Lake has a pretty gnarly scar from their first encounter.

When she's 13, Tulip finds out she's a halfblood and is brought to camp (have not figured out how/by who yet, open to ideas). One-one is an automaton her dad built for her, not sure about Atticus.

When they're 13, Lake decides they want to see the world. They leave camp mostly on a whim, but take enough time to pack a bag and leave a note for Chiron asking him not to try and find them. Chiron somehow (through the Oracle, and Apollo kid, idk) divines that Lake will bring another half-blood to camp safely, and he trusts Lake, so he doesn't try to find them.

Lake wanders on foot for about a month, heading southwest. Eventually, they end up in Arizona, where they meet and slowly become friends with Jesse. Jesse's parents are glad he's spending time with someone who's not his other friends, and they let Lake hang out at their house a lot. They (of course) know Jesse's a demigod, and start to suspect Lake might be too. (Lake also starts suspecting about Jesse)

The "man test" (or something very similar) happens after Jesse meets Lake, and Lake is there to witness it. However, Jesse's friends turn out to be monsters (were they monsters the whole time or did other monsters impersonate his friends? i don't know. lol) and Jesse and Lake have to go rescue Nate (from the underworld? from a monster's lair? somewhere else? again, i don't know)

After that quest, Jesse properly arrives at camp, and him and Lake become very close.

There's a small arc with Lake that I'm not sure where it fits, but here's works: the harrasment and attacks from the flecs are getting worse, and somehow during an attack Lake manages to kill them (Lake never wanted to kill them before because they used to be people, and somehow they know they won't come back like other monsters, so killing them is genuinely killing them). Lake still has to grapple with the fact that they were people and they killed them, but also that it was in self defense.

There's another more significant arc for Lake involving Hephaestus. Probably happens 2 ish years after they meet Jesse. Hephaestus... doesn't like Lake. It seems like he always wants Lake to prove themself to him, but Lake refuses. So instead, he forces them, by setting a trap. Lake nearly dies in his trap (a web of hot metal wires that tie them up like they're in a spider web, covering them in deep burns; it makes sense given Hephaestus' other myths I promise), thankfully, Lake is rescued by Tulip and Jesse. However, the whole thing is definitely traumatizing, and really solidifies in Lake that their dad is a fucking asshole. (me and @jesse-cosay wrote a fic of this, we're most likely going to post it soon!) (also, that scars from this are in the drawing, but they don't look as Bad as I want them too, I was struggling with making them look Bad enough)

Lake and Jesse have become friends with my OCs (Rain, child of Hypnos, and Kona, daughter of. Apollo. sort of. not quite. it's complicated. also Kona is Jesse's cousin!) over the past 2 years or so, and when one of them (Rain) ends up in the Underworld, they both go with the other (Kona) to help rescue them (I can definitely elaborate on that if people are interested, but it's very self indulgent lol)

okay, here's some random little things about this au:

Annabeth no longer has the most beads, Lake does. They have 13. Chiron made sure he collected the beads for them since they were brought to camp.

The other main characters are at camp too (mostly). Grace is the daughter of Aphrodite, Simon is the son of Ares, both have them have lived at camp since they were kids. Simon takes after Luke, thinking the gods should be taken down entirely.

Min is an Athena kid and Ryan is an Apollo kid

Alan Dracula is still basically the same. Chiron doesn't know how he can get into camp. Or if he's a monster. He just knows the deer helps protect campers, and that Lake loves him, so he leaves Alan be.

Lake used to have their own room (a repurposed guest room) in the Big House but now stays with Jesse in Cabin 3 (during the summer, the rest of the year they live with him in Arizona)

When Tulip arrived at camp people assumed she was a Demeter kid because of her name, quickly realized she definitely is not a Demeter kid

Lake has kicked Simon's ass in combat numerous times. It's very rare that Simon ever wins against them period. Simon hates Lake with a burning passion. He HATES that the tiny hephaestus kid can beat him up.

Jesse really doesn't like when people call Poseidon his dad, even if he knows it's true, because to him, his dad is Stephen Cosay, a mortal, who helped raise him and whom he loves.

with all that out there, please feel free to ask questions!!! i love this au so much and i would love to talk about it more. my ask box is open!!! or you can reply to this post. i'm going to reblog Yellow's art from this au and make sure it's tagged so you can find it. the tag is #it pjo au

[danceswithsporks]

Awake-Part 4

Crosshair x f! Innkeeper

*Not canon to Season 3*

Parts 1 2 3

Chapter Summary: Crosshair begins to try and settle into life on Pabu while dealing with his feelings.

Authors Notes: It’s another long one folk! This one was tough for me to write for whatever reason. I think I hit a wall and I’m slowly getting over it. Think of it as a 60ft wall and I’m using two little daggers to climb over it because I can’t find a ladder. Does that make sense? Idfk. All I know is this took me longer than intended and I’m so sorry for that! I still hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! ♥️

Spotify Playlist has been updated with the new song!

Awake, he was fucking awake again. The entire inn was asleep and yet here he fucking was. Wide awake and lost in thought. Ever since he’d arrived on this island he’d barely slept. When he did sleep she wasn’t there anymore. Instead, she was replaced by those he’d lost like Mayday and Tech. They haunted his sleep. They berated him and reminded him of their deaths. Tortured him with the knowledge that they’d both died and he was in some way connected.

It had been a week since they’d returned to Pabu and Crosshair had scarcely left his room. In the last seven days, he’d left twice. Once, on their first day there to try and interact with the others, and then on day four to go with Hunter and Echo to check on Wrecker and the kid. He couldn’t even make it to their home before he turned back. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t face the kid right now. 

During his walk back to his room, he ran into you. You smiled at him and it made his heart beat fast. He still didn’t understand how you could be real. You used to run rampant in his dreams and then suddenly you’d stopped. Your voice, your laugh, and your eyes, it was all the same. How could this be possible? He still hadn’t mentioned to the others about his dream in fear they’d write him off as crazy. Deep down he knew they never would do that. But his mind kept telling him they could. 

“Good evening, Crosshair.” You said sweetly to him as he walked by. The flowing sundress you wore blew in the breeze of your opened patio doors. “Will you join us for dinner tonight?” You looked hopefully at him. 

He shook his head no as he neared the stairs. He felt horrible for not speaking to you. He’d dreamed about you so much before meeting you and now he couldn’t even face you. What would you think of him if you knew everything he’d done and what he’d gone through? Would you continue to be this nice?

You watched in silence. The way he was acting reminded you of how Stitches had acted after losing her parents. It had been months before she was back to normal. From what you’d heard from Stitches, Crosshair had made the call to the boys to warn them. Could he possibly blame himself for them leaving the safety of Pabu and the avoidable death of his brother? You sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case. That was a dark deep pit to be stuck in. It took you and many others months to get Stitches back to normal. Maybe you should reach out to him? Talk to him? The sound of the door opening drew your attention away from the clone and back to your business. 

-*-

The second week came and went in a haze for Crosshair. He barely left his room and barely ate the food you brought up. He could hear his brothers in the hall talking to you on different occasions and the concern you felt for him was clear. It was only when he was sure everyone was out of the hall did he ever open his door for food. He wanted to leave his room, he did, but it was like there was a weight on him preventing him from doing so. It chained him to his room and anchored him to that space alone. Every time he attempted to leave his chest would get heavy.

One night at the beginning of the third week, when the moon was full and illuminated the island in a gentle glow, he found himself compelled to leave his room. He wasn’t sure why he was compelled to leave, he just was. He crept down the stairs quietly in hopes of not waking his slumbering brothers or you. To his surprise, you were already awake and sitting on the patio in one of the chairs overlooking your garden with the door wide open. A gentle breeze blew through the room carrying the scent of lavender and roses in the air. Crosshair inhaled slowly and let out a quiet sigh. He’d been stuck in his room for so long that he’d forgotten the smell of fresh sea air. It reminded him of Kamino. He, surprisingly, missed the water planet. 

He stepped towards the patio door and the floor creaked beneath his feet. You turned in your seat and smiled softly at him. 

“Crosshair, I was wondering when I’d see you again.” Your voice was gentle like the ocean air. You didn’t stand from your seat but simply looked over your shoulder at the mysterious clone. You’d briefly seen his hands poke out from his room to grab a tray of food before the door would shut again. You could hear him moving around from the first floor and you’d heard him cry out a few nights prior. 

He didn’t say anything to you as he stepped out onto the patio. A cup of tea sat on the table in front of you with steam swirling from it. You motioned to a chair near you and after a moment of hesitation, he sat down. 

“Here.” You whispered. “I’ll go make another cup. Don’t worry, I haven’t drunk from it.” Carefully the cup was passed to him before you stood and went back inside.

Crosshair hadn’t expected you to give him your drink. He hadn’t expected anything from you, he didn’t deserve anything from you. Not after the things he’d done. His hand wrapped around the cup and the warmth from the drink spread across his body making goose flesh scatter his skin. Behind him, the sound of you in the kitchen could be heard. The clink of another mug being placed on the counter, a cabinet opening, the clang of the kettle on the stove, and the sound of a metal spoon stirring in the mug. It all rang out in the silent night air to his ears. After a few minutes, you returned with a happy hum and sat back in your chair. 

A silence hung in the air between the two of you as you both stared at the night sky. Every few moments Crosshair would shift in his seat or take a drink of the tea. A cool night breeze danced through the air and against your skin making you shiver. “Should have brought my sweater.” You joked lightly before moving to go inside and grab a blanket. Instead, Crosshair stood and motioned for you to stay in your seat. He moved inside quickly and after a minute returned with a blanket. “Oh, thank you, Crosshair.” You spoke gently as he laid the blanket around your shoulders. You watched as he returned to his seat and the two of you fell back into your silence. 

An hour later you finally let out a long sigh and broke the silence. “I should get inside and get some sleep before I have to make breakfast.” 

Oh, you were leaving already? He was kind of enjoying this quiet time. He watched as you stood from the table with the blanket still around your shoulders. Words seemed to fail him as you stood in the glow of the moonlight in your pajama shorts and tank top. 

Grabbing your empty mug of tea, you began to head inside before stopping in the doorway. “You should take a walk down to the docks. There’s a sea wall you can sit on and just breathe in the crisp sea air. It might help you clear your mind.” 

“How do you know I need to clear my mind?” Crosshair stood from his chair. 

“My apartment is below your room.” You pointed over your shoulder. “I hear you moving around at night. You have trouble sleeping, don’t you?” Reaching up, you pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders as you tried to fight off the chill of the night air. 

“I” he hesitated. You were right, he was having trouble sleeping. 

“Take the walk, Crosshair. When you get back you can take a long shower and I’ll have breakfast ready for you.” You passed him a sweet smile before turning and heading inside, not giving him the chance to argue. A plan was forming in your head.

He watched you place the blanket on the back of the couch in the living area before disappearing into the apartment behind the door marked ‘Private’. A shower and breakfast? Did he smell that bad? He gave himself a sniff and frowned, it had been a few days since he’d last showered. 

Crosshair looked out at the vast star-filled sky and chewed his lip. Perhaps you were right, a long walk in fresh air might do him some good. No doubt the shower later would help as well. Grabbing the same blanket you had used, he wrapped it around his shoulders and headed out the front door. 

You stood watching from your balcony as the quiet clone began the descent down the island. It would take him some time to reach the docks at the speed he was walking. But perhaps that was a good thing. You’d never gone through a big tragedy like they had. Your life on Pabu had been perfect. Two parents who loved you fiercely, grandparents who adored you, and an inn that, before the empire had taken over, had been doing great. 

Your mother had passed from sickness a few years prior and your father soon after from, what the doctor had called a broken heart. It was sad and you’d cried your eyes out for nearly a month. But you knew people like Stitches had had it harder. Your grandparents took over raising you but then they passed the year before, your grandmother in spring and your grandfather in winter, and thus you were on your own.  It wasn’t some tragic tale of loss and heartbreak. You hadn’t been traumatized from any of it. In short, your life had indeed been close to perfect as perfect could be. The only bad times you could think of where you truly were upset would have to be the bad breakups you’d had over the years. That was to be expected when you dated customers. 

With a sigh, you thought about your family. You’d been sad when your parents passed, that much was true. But your grandmother had always told you to take walks and let the sea air calm you. It worked too. Perhaps it was one of those old wives' tales mixed with a placebo effect. But you believed in it and hopefully so would Crosshair. If your grandmother was still alive she would have dragged him from his room on the third day and forced him to eat a big bowl of her homemade lentil soup. He probably would have outwardly hated it, but it would have warmed his soul and no doubt it would have helped him. You’d once tried to make the soup in hopes of honoring your grandmother, but it didn’t taste anything close to hers. You hadn’t tried to make it since then. Maybe you should, perhaps the boys would like it. 

They were still your only customers, more like tenants at this point. You’d had conversations with both Echo and Hunter since they’d first arrived and you’d seen Stitches, Wrecker, and Omega just a few days ago when you went to pick up the clothes the seamstress had made for the boys. One night, a few days ago, Hunter and Echo explained what happened. Your heart hurt for them. To lose a brother in such a terrible way was one of the worst things imaginable. You’d offered your condolences to them and they’d taken it. Now you understood why Omega and Wrecker were having nightmares and why Stitches was so worried. You’d asked if anyone had told Chai what had happened and both men shook their heads.

“I offered to explain it all to her. But she said she wasn’t ready.” Hunter had told you solemnly. 

You wondered if the girl would ever be ready. With a long hum, you pushed off the balcony wall and stepped back into your room. The worry for your friends ran through your head as you laid back into your much too-large bed. Perhaps you’d visit Chai in the morning? Check on her before checking on Stitches and her little family. Whatever you’d do, Crosshair would come first. You fell back to sleep thinking about your plan. 

-*-

The walk down Pabu was surprisingly nice. The cool night air mixed with the sea air and blew through his skin in a way that had him closing his eyes and sighing. Memories of Kamino danced through his mind. Sure they were ignored and on the receiving end of insults from the regs but outside of that, it was his home. The place he grew up with his vod at.the place where he’d made the stupid decision to wait for the empire instead of going with the batch. Whether the memories were good or bad, that ocean scent would always transport him home. 

He followed the cobblestone path to the base of the hill where a waist-high seawall sat. A figure shifted on the wall making him realize he wasn’t alone. Instinctually, he moved to grab his blaster but realized he didn’t have it. He moved to turn and head away from the potential danger when he kicked a loose pebble across the cobblestones. The sound seemed to echo in the quiet night air. The figure shifted and turned to face him. It was her, Techs girl.

“Oh. I thought I was the only one up this late.” Chai tried to force a smile but found herself still unable to. She’d last smiled before they returned. Back when she felt like everything would be okay and Tech would come back to her. Now it felt like she’d never smile again. She looked at his brother with tired eyes and found the same exhaustion looking back at her. “Couldn’t sleep?” 

“No” What was he supposed to say to her at this moment? It was clear she wanted to be alone. He’d heard Hunter talking to Doll and Echo about how the woman didn’t want to know about what happened to Tech. Seeing as he was the cause of his death, Crosshair was the last person who should be talking to her. “I’ll leave.” 

“No!” Chai nearly jumped off the sea wall. Perhaps having the company of one of his brothers would help calm her. “Please. Join me?” She patted the space next to her. 

Crosshair swallowed as your words rang out to him. The sea air would help, hopefully you were right. He nodded to Chai before moving to the wall and boosting himself onto the stone wall. His feet dangled next to hers and he wished he hadn’t worn shoes so he could feel the spray on his ankles. How they were sitting reminded him once more of Kamino and how he and his brothers would sit and watch the Aiwha fly around. 

“We haven’t been introduced. I’m Chai.” She released the datapad in her lap with one hand and offered it to the clone before her. A burn scar could be seen on the right side of his head and she wondered how he got it. Tech had never mentioned a burn scar. 

“Crosshair.” He shook her hand gently before looking down at the familiar datapad. “You look yet?” The question left him before he could stop it. 

She shook her head solemnly. “I tried a few days ago. But it’s locked and I don’t know the code. I tried his clone number but it didn’t work.” Talking to him was almost refreshing in a way. This was the most she’d spoken in days. 

“Check his goggles. He wrote the code in one of the rims.” Just in case he forgot it for whatever reason. Crosshair was the only one to know of its location. It was his job as Tech's twin to know these things. Twin, he wasn’t a twin anymore. Now it was just him. Tech understood him deeper than anyone else had and now he was on his own. 

“Oh.” She looked down at the device in her lap and sighed softly. She’d look for the code when she went home. Maybe today would be the day she’d look through it. “Thanks” 

Crosshair nodded before looking back out over the ocean. It was nice here, just the sound of the ocean waves hitting the rocks below and their breathing. Maybe a sigh here or there but that was it. 

Chai had to admit, she appreciated the silence that fell. For the past two weeks, people had been offering their condolences and sympathy for her loss. Her brothers and father had tried to talk her through the grief and both Hunter and Echo had tried to explain what had happened. But so far Crosshair was keen to not say anything about the topic. She liked that. For these last two weeks, she’d felt so alone. But having someone just sit by her who wasn’t trying to talk about anything seemed to be just what she needed. 

After an hour, Chai turned and hopped off the wall. “I should go back and get ready to open the shop.” A shop owner's job didn’t stop, not even for the death of one they cared for. Crosshair nodded to her, not moving to stand. “I come down most nights. Feel free to join me.” 

He looked over his shoulder at the girl before nodding once more. He had barely any words to say to her. His mind hadn’t stopped running over what to say to her or discuss with her. But according to Shaak Ti, sometimes saying nothing was just as important as saying something. She offered for him to join her another night. Would she hold that offer once she learned what he’d done? That he was why Tech was gone? “Thanks.” Was all he could think to say to her. 

-*-

You woke up to the sound of Crosshair's door shutting and his feet crossing the room. Perfect. You checked your clock and found it had been three hours since he’d left. Hopefully that time away did him some good. Humming softly, you pulled yourself from the warmth of your bed and back into the cool air blowing in off the ocean. You’d left your balcony doors open and that cool crisp air had filled your room. Pulling on your long robe, you stepped out of your room and over to the main kitchen. Stitches would be dropping off breakfast and lunch for them soon enough, but you wanted to do something more traditional and hearty for him. Something to truly welcome him to the island. 

While two eggs were boiling in salted water, you pulled fresh yogurt from the conservator that had been delivered the day before from one of Pabu’s sister islands. A merchant fleet of ships traveled to all the islands on your planet, even Pabu had two ships that were part of the fleet. 

You poured the yogurt into a small dish and added a drizzle of honey over the top of it with a few figs on the side before moving over to start the gliko caf. Maybe he wouldn’t like it so sweet but you loved it that way and so he’d have to at least try it. You poured the sugar and cream into the cups and waited for the delicious dark liquid to pour from the brewer. Now you just needed the kalathaki, prozimi, and the amygdalota. You had the feta, gruyere, and nuts already. 

As if on cue, there was a knock on your front door. After a moment the door opened and Chai’s older brother, Vino, came in with your daily order of sweets and bread. He was always kind enough to swing by the bakers and pick up your bread order. Chai had let it slip that he had a crush on you and while you found it sweet, you didn’t feel the same way back. He was your best friend's brother after all. 

“Thank you, Vino.” You stepped around the island in your kitchen and over to the basket in his hands. 

“Anytime, Doll.” He smiled at you the same way he always did. With a twinkle in his eye and a smile that reached his bright blues. “Your orders have been bigger since the clones arrived.” 

You took the basket from him and shrugged. “They eat a lot. Well, two of them do. Plus I split with Stitches.” The smell of the prozimi wafted through the air and made you sigh. The sourdough always smelled amazing. “How is she?” You hadn’t heard from your dear friend in a few days and you worried. 

Vino shrugged. “Some days are better than others. She’s been going out at night when she thinks we’re all asleep. Goes to the seawall and just stares.” 

“They had a lot of moments there.” The seawall, huh? You wondered if Crosshair had run into her a few hours ago. “I’ll swing by and talk to her later today. That okay?” 

“You know you’re always welcome at our place, Doll.” You were like family after all. He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Maybe talking to you will pull her out of her funk. I haven’t seen her this bad, ever. Not even when mom passed.” 

You nodded to him while patting his hand. “She’ll be okay. Just give her some time. We all grieve in our own way.” 

Vino stepped closer to you and looked down into your eyes. “Are you grieving as well?” He raised his hand to stroke your chin but heard someone clear their throat behind him. Damn. One of these days he’d get the courage to ask you out. 

“Stitches!” Thank the stars she was here. Things were getting awkward with Vino. 

“Hey, Good morning.” She winked at you as you stepped around Vino and back to your island. She walked across the room and elbowed her friend's brother. “Vino. Don’t you have a shop to open?”

“Right.” He nodded to you sweetly. “See ya later? I’ll let Chai know you’re coming over.” 

“Sounds good. Thanks again, Vino.” You watched as the man waved bye to Stirches before leaving. You shook your head as you stepped around the counter and back to the slowly forming tray of food. Already you could tell that Stitches was going to tease you. The basket of goodies was placed on the counter while you checked on the caf. It was almost ready. Just five more minutes. You could see into the small crate that Stitches carried. Six containers of food sat neatly within. “Hope this wasn’t too early for ya.”  You tried to avoid the teasing that was no doubt coming. 

“I was heading to the school to get Omega enrolled so I’ve got some time.” She walked over and placed the crate down while smirking. “So you and Vino, huh?” 

“Don’t start.” You hated how awkward things were between you two now that you knew he liked you. “Wish Chai had never said anything.” The goodies of your basket were pulled out and placed on the counter. The kalathaki looked amazing with its golden crispy crust. You pulled out a knife and cut two pieces from the cheese-based pie. A few more slices were cut and placed into your fridge before you packaged the rest up for Stitches. 

“I think it’s cute.” She watched as you sliced a few pieces of the sourdough bread and placed it on the tray. Now who were you making all of this for? “He’s like a little puppy with the way he does things for you.” She reached over and plucked an amygdalota from the basket. The almond cookie danced on her tongue as she took a bite. “Ugh, Chai definitely made these.” They tasted just right. Nice and firm on the outside but chewy on the inside with just the right balance of salt and sugar. 

She moved over to your conservator and pulled out a few pieces of mixed fruit as well as some olives. “Wow, good haul from the merchant ships. Was Dion working?” Out of all the merchants, Dion liked you the most, and thus he always gave you a great deal. She placed the items on the counter next to you. 

“Yeah.” Once again there was another man who crushed on you. None of them fit that fairytale romance you wanted though. You wanted someone who would listen to what you had to say and understand it. Someone who looked at you like you were everything to them. Someone who you could care for but would care for you as well. That perfect relationship like yours, and so many others, parents had. 

“So which one of them is it? Who's the lucky clone getting this amazing-looking tray of food.” She watched as you placed a few of the almond cookies onto the tray before turning and grabbing the eggs from the water. Stitches was quick to help you by grabbing a bowl and filling it with ice and water.

 You deposited the eggs into the water to quickly cool as you finished filling the tray. All you needed was the eggs and then the caf. Already your inn was smelling amazing and no doubt the other clones would be up soon. You tried to ignore her question but as usual, your friend wouldn’t let up. 

“Can’t be Hunter, he’s too rugged for your taste. Remember Ienzo? You hated his ruggedness.” She grabbed an olive and popped it into her mouth. The salty brine burst in her mouth. She hadn't eaten before she left and it was catching up to her. 

“Ienzo’s beard was too long and had stuff stuck in it. Not to mention his hair was too greasy. I don’t think I’d call that rugged. I’d just call that gross. From what I’ve seen, Hunter is far from that.” But still far from your type. You grabbed the caf from the brewer and poured it into the two cups. It took a lot of willpower not to down your cup right away. 

Stitches shook her head as you rolled your eyes. “Ok, well it can’t be Echo. He’s far too pale for you. Remember Ansem?” 

You placed a few pieces of cutlery on the tray before looking around for some napkins. “Ansem couldn’t even step outside without burning. I can’t be with someone like that while living on a sunny island. From what I understand, Echo is recovering from some serious shit and hasn’t regained his color. Just as Crosshair is.” 

As soon as you said his name she knew she’d got you. “So it is Crosshair.” She giggled excitedly. “You and Crosshair. I can’t believe it!” Wrecker had folded her very little about Crosshair. Just that he was Tech’s twin and had been the one to make the call that sent them on their rescue mission. 

“Will you keep your voice down? Honestly.” You shooed her with one of the cloth napkins you’d found. “It’s not like that. He’s struggling with something. I just want to try and help him through whatever it is.” Having someone moping around your inn wouldn’t look good for you. Plus he was too cute to be sad. 

Oh. Oh no. You found him cute. 

No, you couldn’t fall for yet another customer. Not after the last one. You’d made a deal with yourself that you wouldn’t date another customer. You were just helping him because you felt bad for him. Yeah. That was all. Not because he had soft eyes filled with emotion or a cute butt. No, it was just because he was sad and you were trying to be nice. 

“Doll? Doooollll.” Stitches waved her hand in your face to draw your attention once more. 

“Huh? What?” You hadn’t realized you’d zoned out. You waved her hand away from your face before walking over to the bowl of ice and pulling out the two eggs. 

“I asked if you’d be making him this special meal every day?” If you were then she could cut back on one of the meals she made every day.

Sighing, you shook your head. “Just today. I’m trying to make him feel comfortable here. It can be hard going from one planet to another, especially when dealing with the death of a brother.” Or so you’d heard from passing customers. Back before the Empire took over you had all manner of customers come through your inn. Families, vendors, bounty hunters, and lone wolves. You’d seen it all and heard it all. You may not have experienced hardship like those around you, but you understood it enough. 

“Right.” She clapped her hands together and hugged you quickly. “Well I expect to be the first to know when that fails and you end up married to him.” 

“Oh, my gods. Why are you this way?” You hugged her before shooing her once more. “I can guarantee it won’t come to that.” 

“Whatever you say, Doll. Whatever you say.” She gathered her portion of the baked goods and bread into the basket. She took a moment to think about something before speaking in a more serious tone. “Don’t force him, or Chai, to talk about what’s wrong. You know as much as I do that’ll just push them deeper into themselves.” 

Your lips formed a thin line as you nodded. “I know.” There was a moment of hesitation between you two before you continued. “How are they? Wrecker and Omega?” 

She hummed in thought for a moment. “It’s day by day. They both still have nightmares and Omega barely eats right now. But I think getting her enrolled in school and back around other kids will help.” Stitches checked the basket for everything to distract herself from worrying too much about her little family. “Give Chai my love?” 

“I will.” You nodded while resting your hands on the cool countertop. “I’ll stop by after I talk to her. ‘Kay?” Your friend nodded before turning and leaving your inn. Only once the door was shut did you move around the counter and begin to pull the containers of food from the crate. You’d quickly get these sorted before going up to Crosshair’s room. Hopefully, he was done showering by now. 

-*-

Crosshair sat on the edge of his bed in the darkness of his room. He’d showered after his walk and reluctantly put a fresh pair of pajama pants on instead of simply laying on his bed in a towel. He wasn’t back to normal, it would take a lot longer for that to happen, but he did feel a little bit better. 

A soft knock on his door drew his attention. Standing, he walked over to the door and pressed his ear against the cool metal. 

“Crosshair? I brought you a little something to eat.” You spoke just barely loud enough for him to hear. Not wanting to wake his brothers up or draw attention to you two. 

He paused for a moment before opening the door with the intent of taking the tray of food from you and then going back into his room alone. It seemed you had other plans though. With a sweet smile at him that shook his entire body, you stepped past him and into the room he’d holed himself up in for two weeks. He barely caught sight of the tray but it was far from ‘a little’. From what he’d seen it was a lot, the tray was full. “Umm,” What was he supposed to say? Get out? What are you doing? You look nice in that dress. 

Wait. 

You’d worn a sundress countless times before, it seemed to be your preferred outfit, so why did he think you looked nice this time? He stood in the doorway watching you closely as you moved to the desk and placed down the tray. You stepped over to the window and in one swift movement the curtains were pulled back and the morning light flooded his room. The dress you wore was light blue with white stripes running down it multiple times. You had a pair of heeled strap sandals on and your hair was down. You looked just like you did nearly every time he’d caught a glimpse of you. So what was it about this time that made him feel this way?

“Don’t worry, I won’t be charging you extra for the meal.” You smirked at him before turning around and staring at his window. It was a little musky in here. With a cute humph, you unlatched the window and pushed it open happily. The crisp morning air blew into the room instantly and fluttered your dress making you laugh lightly. 

Crosshair practically swooned at your smirk. When the wind blew your dress around his knees nearly gave out. You were the most stunning creature he’d ever seen. “Huh?” Wow, he was not great at speaking to you. 

You fought the little chuckle that bubbled its way into your throat. “How was your walk? Did you make it to the seawall?” You’d been fussing with the tray of food until you heard the door shut. Good, he wasn’t running for the hills. Smiling, you looked up at him and watched as he walked across the room to you. It was only then that you noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Your cheeks flushed at the sight of his surprisingly toned body. Hunter had told you that he’d been a prisoner for a while but that didn’t seem to have affected him too much. 

The morning sun enveloped you like a halo of orange and yellow as he stepped across the room. Seeing you like this, looking so beautiful, it seemed to loosen his tongue. “I did. It was nice.” He looked down at the tray of food and felt his mouth water. Everything looked so good, even the eggs. 

Picking up one of the mugs of caf, you passed it to him. “Did you see Chai? Her brother told me this morning that she’s been going out at night.” 

“I did.” Her brother? He didn’t realize she had a brother. There wasn’t much he knew about the girl, only that Tech was interested in her. This morning? It had only been a few hours since he’d seen the girl. Was it normal for men to come to your inn so early in the morning? Why did that make his heart twinge? “Didn’t say much.” He took the caf from you and waited for you to pick up the one intended for you. 

“Did she seem okay?” Your hand hesitated over your cup. 

You really cared for the girl, didn’t you? “She was quiet. Told her the code for the datapad.” 

Picking up the caf, you chewed your lip. “So she still hasn’t looked at it?” Echo had explained that there was something on the device that Tech had wanted her to see. What it was no one seemed to know. It was all just part of the contingency the clone seemed to have had. 

“Suppose not.” If she couldn’t even unlock the device then there was no way that she’d seen what was inside. 

You couldn’t let this get you down, not when you’d come in here with a plan. The cup in your hands was held out to him in cheers that he seemed reluctant to return. Never dropping the smile that you forced back onto your face, you took a sip of your caf and hummed happily. It was just the perfect level of sweetness with a small bite of bitterness on the tail end. “I’ll check on her later.”  You watched Crosshair carefully as he downed the entire cup of caf. He made a face that let you know that he didn’t care for the sweetness of the drink. It made you chuckle. “Sorry, wasn’t sure how you liked your caf.” 

You were so happy and peppy. Usually, that would annoy him but on you, it looked great. It almost made him want to smile and forget about everything. Almost. “It’s fine.” 

Well, it was the thought that counted. “Well, I think you should try the kalathaki next. It’s from the baker, they’re the best on the island when it comes to the pies.” You picked up the plate holding a slice of the cheese pie, it smelled delicious. 

Crosshair looked down at the tray of food and felt his stomach ache. He’d barely been eating these last couple of days. It all looked good too, you truly knew how to make a meal. But his mind and body pulled away from the food. He couldn’t bring himself to eat. Shaking his head, he lived to step away but heard you clear your throat suddenly. 

You watched the way he turned from you. Oh, he thought he’d get out of eating? Clearing your throat, you picked up a fork and cut a small piece of the pie. “Try a bite?” You gave him the best puppy dog eyes that you could muster. 

“I” he let out a long sigh. How could he say no when you looked at him like that? You’d gone through all the work of making the food for him and bringing it up to his room. The least he could do was try a small bite. Crosshair allowed you to slide a small piece into his mouth, the smile on your face pure as he did so. 

It tasted amazing. Better than anything he’d had before. The flavor burst in his mouth making his tongue sing. His stomach practically growled at the introduction of delicious food. He’d only been snacking on small pieces of bread or the rolls that came with the meals she dropped off. This was on an entirely different level. Before he could process the first bite you were already cutting another piece. He should step in and say he was able to feed himself but you seemed so pleased with yourself and honestly? He was tired. 

You let him chew the piece in his mouth while you set the plate down. Moving behind him, you grabbed the chair and placed it behind him. Without a word, he sat down and stared at you. You could see how tired he was, but that was okay. You’d take care of him. 

-*-

Thirty minutes later he took his final bite of the food. It had been a slow process for you to feed him, he didn’t seem too excited to eat. It wasn’t a lot that he’d eaten, small amounts here and there from the different items on the tray, but he’d at least eaten something. 

You stood from the spot on the floor that you’d slid into. It had been silent in the room since you’d started feeding him. You didn’t mind too much. Yes, it was odd at first but you didn’t want to press him too much. You were lucky that he’d let you in and do this much for him, pressing your luck could prove futile. He could easily lock back up and not let you in again. 

“Come on.” You whispered while extending your hand to him. 

The last thirty minutes had flown by in a blur as you fed him. He’d felt like a child at first but slowly he’d felt something else. Gratefulness? Lust? Desire? Someone as beautiful as you had been hand-feeding him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve someone like you taking care of someone like him. Every moment and bite was savored as you worked around the tray. All of it had been delicious, but the pie had by far been his favorite. 

You stood and offered your hand to him and without hesitation he took it. He was easily pulled onto his feet and into your body. “S-sorry.” Came from him as he realized how close to you he was, you smelled amazing. 

Oh. He was warm. Your hand rested against his muscular chest for a moment as you repositioned him. You intended to lead him to his bed so he could get some sleep but you realized it was messy and deeply slept in. No doubt it smelled as bad as it looked. “Follow me?” 

Follow you? Follow you where? He’d trusted you so far. He continued to hold your hand as you led him from his room. “Where are we go-“ 

“We’re going on an adventure.” You squeezed his hand gently while leading him down the hall and the stairs.

 In the dining area at the table sat Hunter and Echo. Both men were distracted in a discussion over information Rex had found on some Republic medical staff prisoners. The stairs creaked under the dual weight of you and Crosshair as the two of you walked down them. Hunter looked over to say good morning to you and was surprised to see your hand wrapped around his vods. You paid them both little mind as you rounded the stairs and stepped through the door marked private. Hunter tried to wave down Crosshair and ask what the hell was going on but the man seemed just as lost as he was. The door shut with a gentle swoosh leaving Hunter and Echo to ponder what the hell they’d just seen. 

Crosshair looked around your small apartment in surprise. He was in your private space right now. The space that no one was supposed to see besides your friends. What did that make him? He’d only known you for two weeks and you’d barely spoken to each other. You walked into a side room and pulled him in behind you. The bed made it clear that this was your bedroom. It smelled of flowers and fresh linen while your bed looked incredibly comfortable and inviting. 

Finally, you stopped and motioned to your bed. “Please, get comfortable.”

“But it-“ you raised your hand to him quickly and shook your head. 

“Your bedding needs to be washed. None of the other rooms are set up for guests right now. So the obvious choice was for you to use mine.”  Stepping over to the bed, you pulled down the white floral print duvet and matching sheet before motioning for him to get in. “Don’t worry, I won’t watch you sleep.” 

“I didn’t think you would.” Maybe he did a little but you’d never know that. He walked over to your bed and carefully sat down on it. It was so soft and comfortable. 

“Oh, he’s snappy.” You winked at him while walking back around the bed and towards the door. “I like that.” You stood in the doorway and watched as he laid down and got comfortable. “Refresher is over to the left and there’s a pitcher of fresh water on the bedside table. Get some rest and I’ll see you at dinner.” 

“Why are you doing all of this?” He asked as he rested his head against your soft pillow. Now this was a nice bed. 

“Because we all need a little help sometimes.” Whether it was getting out of a rut or seeing the bad that others already could see. “Sweet dreams, Crosshair.” 

He turned his head and watched as you stepped out of the room. “Thanks” came as a whisper that only he could hear. 

Crosshair lay in the bed for what felt like an eternity, sleep eluding him for the time being. His mind raced over the events of the morning so far. First, he’d sat with you outside, then he’d met Chai and sat with her, you’d actually fed him and now he was lying in your very large bed. How had he gone from the sad darkness of his room to the light happiness of yours? He looked around from the warmth of the bed and picked up on a few things. You kept a datapad that was designed for reading next to your bed as well as a box of tissues. Your balcony led to the garden where the smell of flowers was coming from and your closet could be seen from the bed. There was, in fact, a large amount of sundresses within. There were also a few trophies on your wall surrounding a vanity with a large mirror that was directly across from the bed. It was a nice room. The scent of your perfume hung on the pillow pulling him from his thoughts and finally, after countless sleepless nights and an hour of laying in your bed, he fell into a deep sleep.

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When did Jason & Damian Meet?

More random DC thoughts while tending to my goats:

Jason died shortly before his sixteenth birthday and Tim arrived a few months later, aged thirteen. Rounding Jason up a month or so for convenience, this makes a three year age difference.

Batman Annual 25 states that Jason was dead for six months “until time decided to set things right” (because he wasn’t supposed to die but Superboy Prime fucked up the timeline similar to Flash in Flashpoint). Then he spent a year in the hospital/on the streets before Talia takes him in. Then, he spends a year with her before she drops him in the Lazarus Pit and immediately gets him away from Ra’s. After that, he goes through a series of teachers before returning to Gotham for the events of Hush and Under the Red Hood. This had to have taken around a year at least.

Tim is fifteen during the attack in Titan’s Tower, which takes place during the events of Under the Red Hood (sometime between Jason revealing himself to Bruce and taking a Batarang to the neck). If we go by the timeline shown in the Annual, Jason should be nineteen, which would be a four year age difference. Which means either one of those ‘one year later’s is wrong or Dick was right when he guessed Tim was twelve in A Lonely Place of Dying and Tim lied about being thirteen.

So we’re looking at an age difference of either three years or four years between Jason and Tim. This is the important point.

Damian turns thirteen shortly after Tim died (and was immediately resurrected by Dr Manhattan but the family didn’t know that and it doesn’t really matter here anyway). DC really made sure no age was stated ever during the A Lonely Place of Living storyline, even with Zor-El asking after why Tim had to step in and save Batman as a child. However, after Tim returns, Bruce barges into the hospital room and identifies himself (among other things) as “the boy’s legal guardian”. Which would mean Tim isn’t emancipated like he was in New Earth and, most importantly for this train of thought, is still a minor. So he’s most likely sixteen (as he was in New52) or seventeen (as he was when New Earth ended). It would make no sense for DC to have gone younger.

That makes a three or four year age difference between Tim and Damian as well.

Which makes a six-to-eight year age difference between Jason and Damian.

So if we say Jason was seventeen when Talia took him in, then Damian would have been anywhere from nine to eleven. Certainly old enough to notice his mother stressing out (over Jason) and possibly ask questions. Jason wasn’t cognizant the whole time he was with the League and Talia appears to have kept him pretty secured as well. At the time, Damian had been canonically adopted out (he was retconned back into Talia’s custody later), so he’s never mentioned, but it’s during Jason’s post-Lazarus training period that Talia leaves her father (and works for Lex Corps), and near the end of Red Hood: The Lost Days, is tortured by her sister in Death in the Maidens before rejoining the League. There’s no way she left Damian behind for all that, so she either has him with her or has left him in the care of someone she trusts while she sets up their new life (before it gets derailed by her sister).

All this means it’s very unlikely that Jason ever met or even knew about Damian. It’s possible Damian saw, or at least knew about, Jason, but it’s also possible that he never did.

Since Damian didn't exist as a character during the time DC was bringing Jason back and establishing his post-death character, it’s probably more convenient for them to go with neither of them knowing about the other.

Personally, since DC set Damian up as unbelievably spoiled at his introduction and proceeded to show him being very nosy and lacking boundaries with those of interest to him or that he cares about (spying on Tim, spying on Bruce, disguising himself as Jon’s school bus driver, etc), I think it would have been easier for Talia to tell him about Jason (probably leaving out the Bruce connection just in case) but refuse to let him see Jason than try to keep the whole thing from him. So I headcanon that Damian knew of Jason. He was always curious about him because of the way his mother spoke of the older boy: with love, pride, and concern. However, he didn’t get to meet him until after he was living with his father and Jason starting coming around.

Jason had no clue Talia and Bruce had a child that she’d been taking care of the whole time.

[silverwings22]

Take Me To Church Chapter 1: Air

Brainrot got me. Here's a 5 part mini-series for our beloved ARC trooper Fives. I will drop one chapter a day until it's all up! Series warning: 18+, flashbacks, smut, major injury, torture, death, experimentation, canon typical violence, Hozier lyrics

Kyatsa Dooku was standing alone in a Coruscanti morgue, looking down at the motionless body of an ARC trooper. Her ARC trooper, one of the finest of the 501st. Her Boy in Blue.

 Fives. 

He hadn’t known, of course, that was her name. He’d thought she was Kya Rhayko, a refugee displaced by the war and working as a secretary in the senate building. She scheduled meetings, proofread speeches, and set itineraries. It was the perfect cover for spying on the Republic, in her father’s name. Fives hadn’t known Count Dooku was her father, though. She certainly didn’t look like him, half pantoran with icy blue skin and golden eyes she’d inherited from from her mother. Her hair was a pale blush, and she had none of the family tattoos her mother, Kiyo Rhayko, had when she’d married the count twenty years before the start of the war. She’d only been born a year later, a darling little countess. 

That had been before the Sith. 

***My lover’s got humor.***

She’d been lost when she met Fives, without knowing it. She hadn’t smiled in years, much less laughed. Not since her mother had died when she was six, and only a few months later her father’s “Master” had come to call on their home on Serenno. Then her life had gone from spending time in the garden with her doting father to being trained as a Sith. Darth Caedes, he’d called her, and she’d served him faithfully. She was the perfect apprentice, because unlike any of the Sith in recent memory, she would never rise to kill her Master. He was her father, and she loved him no matter what he put her through. 

So when she’d arrived on a Coruscanti dock, disguised as a refugee and still sporting a limp from a fight with some imbecile Jedi padawan who’d managed to injure her before she’d cut his hand off on Geonosis, she hadn’t expected any kindness. Fives had been new too, fresh off Rishi Moon and a droid attack, on his first shore leave with the 501st. She remembered how bright his unpainted white armor was when she’d first seen him. He’d been talking to his brother, Echo she found out later, when he’d spotted her hobble off the transport with her aching knee that hadn’t healed right since it had been dislocated. She probably should have rested it, but there hadn’t been time. Her father had a strict timetable, and she’d been shipped off to Pantora to cement her alibi as a refugee. 

“Excuse me, miss? You look like you could use a hand, and I have two.” He grinned. “I can carry that bag for you.” He was effortlessly confident. Effortlessly handsome, too, with his little goatee and a tattoo on his forehead. “I’m Fives, by the way.”

“My name is Kya.” She’d let him take her shoulder bag, and was even more surprised when he offered her his arm to lean on. “Fives, was it? That explains the tattoo, but isn’t that a little on the nose?”

“Are you blind? It’s clearly on my forehead.” He snickered like it was the funniest thing he’d ever said. “Where are you headed, Miss Kya? I’ll make sure you get there safe.”

“The refugee center. My application finally got approved, after months of- eee!” She winced on a step up from a curb, and Fives almost instantly was slipping her bag strap across his body and scooping her up into his arms like she weighed nothing. “What are you doing?!”

“You’re hurt. Lemme see if Kix can help you out here. Who knows how long it’ll take the refugee center to get you something for that leg, and you just said you’d been waiting for months.” He jogged over to another trooper with a medical emblem, who set her on a cargo crate and treated her knee with an e-bacta shot right there in the docking hangar. He’d carried her to the refugee center afterwards, too, and offered her his comm contact just in case she needed any more help. 

***She’s a giggle at a funeral.***

She hadn’t meant to see him again. But when the refugee center placed her in a tiny lower-mid level apartment and got her the secretary job, she’d run into him on her way home from work. He’d been out at the clone bar, 79’s, with his brothers but had gotten separated from them in the ruckus of an accidentally pulled fire alarm and mandatory evacuation. He was entirely drunk, watching the neon lights as the Corrie Guard and fire department inspected the premises to make sure it was safe for everyone to go back in. She wasn’t sure how he’d recognized her, but as she passed by on the sidewalk she heard him call out. “Miss Kya! Hey!” 

He had more paint on his armor now, and she’d felt obligated to stop and speak since he’d helped her before. Halfway through the conversation that he leaned in too close and spoke too loud for, she realized he had a steadily bleeding cut on his forehead. “Fives. You’re bleeding.” 

He frowned. “Oh… I musta bounced off that table when everyone started pushin…” 

She told herself she owed him a favor. He’d helped her, she’d help him and they’d be even. “I can’t tell if you’re slurring drunk or with a concussion. Where are your brothers?”

“Echo didn’ wanna come.” He smiled sheepishly. “An… Hardcase and Jesse left with a pair of twi’lek twins before the fire alarm.” 

“Why didn’t you leave with anyone?” She pulled his arm over her shoulder. She could take him back to her apartment and clean him up. He was a grown solider, but she was a Sith and could defend herself with ease if needed. Not that Fives seemed likely to attack her… he was about as threatening as a Carosi pup and seemed twice as eager for approval. 

“None of ‘em were as pretty as you.” He grinned. Even drunk and with a head injury, he was smooth. Her cheeks flushed hot indigo and she nearly toppled them both into a gutter, but she pretended she hadn’t heard the comment. 

Back at her apartment, she bandaged his head and checked for a concussion with the limited medical knowledge she had. “I don’t think you’re concussed, but maybe you shouldn’t walk back to the barracks alone… You can sleep on the couch if you’d like.”

He’d nodded agreeably, taking off his armor and almost falling onto the threadbare loveseat she’d been given. It was actually pretty comfortable, though he was too tall to really stretch out. He didn’t mind, and she wasn’t quite willing to give up a bedroom door with a lock for his comfort. Not yet. 

The next morning, she’d offered him breakfast. She didn’t really know how to cook, but cereal was pretty self explanatory. Over bowls of the sugariest, least nutritionally dense food she’d ever had but loved, she watched him happily munching. “... Fives?”

“Yeah?” He’d looked up at her with such an honest expression. On reflection, this might have been the moment it all started. His soft, dark brown eyes and blue milk dribbled in his goatee… 

“Did you mean what you said last night… that you think I’m pretty?” She felt like a moron, fishing for compliments, but she wanted to hear it. Just one more time before the next long dark period where her only communication outside of her job was her father’s stern voice criticizing her. “Stand up straighter, Kyatsa. You are a Countess. You are a Sith Lady. Act like it, with decorum and ruthless efficiency. That pitiful act is only for those fools in the Republic. Don’t you dare come before me with anything less than perfection.” 

“Yes Father. Yes Master. I understand. I will be better.” 

Fives nodded immediately. “Of course I did. You’re really pretty. Has nobody ever told you that before? Not even your family back home?” 

Kya flushed, fiddling with the end of her hair still braided from sleep. “I have a… somewhat strained relationship with my father. And mother died when I was very young.” 

“Well, your dad must be blind. Cause you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. You’re even my favorite color.” He smiled disarmingly. “And I’ve actually seen girls now that I’m off Kamino, so I know what I’m talking about!”

The tiny giggle that rose up in her chest caught her off guard, and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle it. 

“No, nooo!” Fives waved his arms. “Don’t cover your face. Lemme see if your smile is as cute as the rest of you!”

“You’re charming, you know?” She giggled again, lowering her hand. “Do you talk like this to all those girls you’ve met since you left Kamino?”

“Nah. You’re actually the only one who’s ever talked to me back.” He grinned, sheepish. Kya couldn’t help but feel like a much younger girl, a middle schooler treading water with a first crush, when he smiled like that. When had anyone smiled at her last? Certainly not her father. Not the busy senators, who were polite but forever hurried with their workloads… the last kind face she could summon up was Zara, the Mirialan cook back in Dooku Castle who’d taken it upon herself to show love to the little Countess without a mother. 

She didn’t want to let this new source of kindness go. Her father said the Republic was full of corruption and dishonor, but the clones were innocent of it. They’d been bought by the highest bidder for this war, they hadn’t volunteered. If she looked at it that way, there was no reason to concern herself with Fives being an enemy soldier. He was good, in and of himself. That was what mattered. “... Maybe I could talk to you more often? You gave me your comm… I could give you mine?” She offered. 

He nodded eagerly. “I’d like that. It gets so boring between battlefields. Just ‘hurry up and wait’, but you never know what you’re waiting for until it shoots at you.” 

She scribbled her comm frequency on a takeout napkin for him, and watched him finish his cereal with a smile. She hadn’t had a friend in years…. “Do you deploy soon?” 

“Tomorrow morning, so today’s gonna be all equipment checks when I get back. Captain Rex is relentless, but he’s doing it so we stay alive.” He nodded. “But when I get back, we’ll go do something. Do you ever go to Republica Park?”

“I pass it on my way to work. Was there something there that you wanted to see?” She leaned her elbow on the table, flinching when she expected a smack with a cane for the lapse in manners. Fives fortunately hadn’t noticed. 

“Yeah. I want to catch one of the baby ducks, and see if they’re as fluffy as they look.” He gave her that wide grin again, and this time she doubled over the table laughing. 

“That, I have to see!” 

***Knows everybody’s disapproval***

He caught her a duck on their first visit to the park. She’d sat on the edge of the fountain in her black dress, laughing until her cheeks and ribs hurt, as he splashed through the water after the fuzzy little things in his civvies. When he finally managed to scoop up one, he gently petted its little head with his thumbs until it stopped squirming before bringing it to Kya. “It is exactly as fluffy as I thought it would be.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” She couldn’t help but be charmed at how tenderly he held the little creature, letting her pet it on the beak before setting it down and watching it paddle back to its mother and siblings. He sat down beside her, wringing water out of his sleeves. “And more wet than the duckling.”

“Quack quack.” He grinned, getting another laugh from her. 

“I was going to buy us lunch, but they’ll never let you in a restaurant if you’re dripping all over the floor.” She stood and offered him a hand to step over the fountain edge.

“Half the restaurants around here won’t let me in anyway. I’m a clone.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re… not welcome in a lot of places. Especially upper level.” 

Kya froze, looking at him for a long moment. “I… I didn’t know that.” 

“It’s okay. Not a lot of people do… not a lot of people hang out with clones that aren’t in the army too. But that’s why we end up at 79’s so often. It’s one of the safe places to go.” 

“... I’m going to have to learn how to cook, aren’t I?” She sighed and pulled up her datapad. 

“I thought all nat borns knew how to cook.” Fives leaned in as they started walking back towards her apartment, his boots making the most obnoxious squishing noise. She couldn’t bring herself to care. “You guys don’t have the mess hall like we do.”

“No. But my mother never got around to teaching me, and my father… I don’t think he can either. I’ve never seen him try. My… aunt, she cooked for us growing up. I should have asked her to teach me, but I was in a lot of classes.” She had to be careful what she told him, but it was mostly true. “Maybe I can call her later and ask for some of her recipes. Do you like Mirialan food?”

“I’ve never had it, but I’ll try anything once. But your aunt is Mirialan? Aren’t you Pantoran?”

“Half Pantoran, technically. But she’s an honorary aunt. Not biologically related, but she took care of me when my father got too busy with work.” Kya blinked when Fives put his hand on her shoulder and moved her to the inside of the sidewalk, putting himself between her and the road. It was the sweetest, most chivalrous gesture she’d ever experienced. 

***I should have worshipped her sooner. ***

Months passed, with Fives coming to see Kya every time they came back to Coruscant. Zara had been delighted to send her little Countess recipes and holo call to help her make them. “Missing a taste of home, Lady Kya?” 

“Something like that. I miss you… could you keep a secret, Zara? From Father?”

“Of course.” 

“I’m cooking for a man. He’s been so nice to me, for no reason at all. But Father wouldn’t approve of him.” 

“Oh, Lady Kya. Your father hasn’t approved of a thing in almost fifteen years, I think. I won’t tell him what you said if you don’t tell him what I did.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Kya held a spoon up for inspection. “It tastes mostly like I remember, but the color is too dark.”

“Add a little more cream to the sauce, and it’ll be just fine.” Zara laughed. “Is your gentleman caller coming tonight?”

“He’s supposed to. He was on Kamino… I saw on the news what Father sent Ventress and Grievous to do. I don’t understand why he went after the cloning facility. It’s not the clone’s fault they have to fight.” Kya scowled. 

“I don’t like either of those two. Your father made them spar with you, and you got hurt.” Zara’s dark eyes looked fierce in the blue holo. “His own daughter. If Countess Kiyo could see how bad off you were when I put you in that bacta tank, she’d have rolled in her grave.” 

“Father has his reasons… I wish I understood them.” Kya sighed, tasting her concoction after adding the cream. “I think it’s right now. I’ll tell you how he likes it.”

“Of course. Tell me all about your date when you comm.” Zara hung up before Kya could protest it wasn’t a date, and before she could send a text ping she heard Fives knocking at the door. 

She glanced in the hall mirror at the sleek black, always black because she never wore any other color, dress she’d chosen and the makeup she’d dabbed on. Okay… maybe it was a date.

When she opened the door, Fives was in a set of civvies. He’d cleaned up, but he looked exhausted. “Fives?” 

“Hey, cyar’ika.” He smiled tiredly. “Missed you.”

“Come inside. Are you alright?” She stepped out of the way worriedly. She could feel a weight on him through the Force, for once using it for a reason other than manipulation. 

“... I got promoted to ARC trooper.” He said quietly.

“You don’t sound happy about it.” Her hand found its way to his arm. 

“99 died, on Kamino. Remember I told you about him?” 

“Oh… oh Fives, I’m so sorry.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. 99 had been the kind hearted maintenance clone that had helped his original squad get through basic. Only Echo and Fives remained from Domino Squad now. 

“It’s okay… I mean, it’s not but he died like any trooper would want to. Fighting clankers, protecting our brothers…” Fives shook his head. “He was the best of us.”

“If you’d need to cancel to be with your brothers, I understand-” Kya started. She was no stranger to grief, it had lived with her for years with her trying to outrun it. 

“No, no. I… I wanted to see you. Had to see you.” He turned and put his hands on hers. “I… before the fighting started, I told him about you. He said I was being a right di’kut about you.”

“You know I don’t speak Mando’a.” She grasped his hands back. She should have learned. Jango Fett had been in and out of her life for ten years before the war, but she’d been so caught up in her own life-

“It means dumbass.” Fives chuckled. “I… 99 said I should tell you how I felt about you, before I messed up and someone else snatched you up.” 

“How you… feel about me?” She blinked, the lump in her throat that only Fives could seem to conjure reappearing. Where was the cold and calculated Sith now? She was fumbling in her own kitchen, in front of a pretty man with a face she’d seen a million times. How was Fives so glaringly unique that he could turn her inside out after a lifetime of training? 

“I like you, Kya. A lot. More than a friend… a hell of a lot more than a friend. If you don’t feel the same, tell me now and I’ll shut up about it forever and we can both pretend it never happ-” 

“Shut up.” Kya pulled his hands straight down, forcing Fives to bend over slightly. Enough she could lean in and put her lips to his. She’d never kissed anyone before, but she wasn’t so far removed from her childhood when her parents loved each other that she didn’t remember what it looked like. Her blue fingers splayed against the tan sharpness of his jaw, her pink mouth pressed into his with a tilt of her head that parted the startled new ARC trooper’s lips. For a moment, Fives was frozen as his typical smooth humor abandoned him. Then he was kissing back, hungrily pulling her against his chest by her waist. Dinner was forgotten as they took their time devouring each other in all the clumsy enthusiasm of a first kiss. 

When they had no choice but to break, both panting softly and looking mistily eyed at each other, Fives grinned. His voice cracked, half breathless. “That went better than expected. Echo thought I’d have to bring you something even better than a duck.” 

Kya laughed, looping one arm around his neck and the other reaching back to turn off the stove. They could eat later. “You brought me the most handsome ARC trooper in the GAR. That’s much better than a duck.” 

He beamed, delighted, and pulled her in for another kiss. 

***If the heavens ever did speak, she’s the last true mouthpiece.***

He was gone so much, as the war got more and more violent. She found herself omitting details to her father, making sure he wouldn’t catch the 501st by surprise. Making sure Fives was safe. Then there were other units she started guarding, people Fives called friends and brothers he loved. She started deliberately failing the secret missions she’d dress herself in the mask and robes of Darth Caedes for. She started ignoring her father’s calls. Her feelings for Fives grew with every shore leave. Every knock on her apartment door, every experimental dinner in her kitchen, every laugh he coaxed out of her. Her favorite parts were the weekend mornings when she didn’t have to be at work, where she woke up without the alarm and Fives was still in her bed. He was beautiful in the morning sun, dark lashes on his cheeks and muscled limbs tangled in her blankets. His eyes would crack open and he’d smile for her first thing, whispering “Mornin’ cyar’ika.” in a voice thick with sleep. 

She didn’t know exactly when she’d started loving him, but by the time she’d noticed it the feelings were embedded too deep to extricate herself. She wasn’t just questioning her place in the Separatists, the Sith, or the galaxy. She was questioning everything but Fives. 

***Every Sunday’s getting more bleak.***

“I was wondering if I’d find you here.” The voice, clipped and artificially polite but with a bite of mockery, was far too well known to her. 

“You.” She didn’t look up, hands on the slab by Fives’ motionless side. She couldn’t drag her eyes from his still, pale face. Fives was never pale, he was all dark eyes and copper skin, freckles on his cheeks. Sunlight that broke through the frozen surface she’d been ice-skating on all her life. He’d baptized her in warmth. 

He was gone. Death had taken him away.

“I would think I deserve a proper greeting. Unless you think you’re entitled to take liberties with your Master, Countess.”

She finally dragged her eyes over her shoulder to him, jaw clenching. She wanted to bare her teeth like a trapped animal and snarl, hiss, bite. Whatever it took to get Sheev Palpatine’s blood on the floor. “Not my Master. My father’s.” She fought to keep her voice level. A deadpan stare had once been her natural state, unaffected no matter what came at her. Why was it suddenly so hard not to scream and wrap her hands around his neck? She’d never hated anyone so much as she hated the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. What an irony, that anger fueled so many Sith and she’d never been more less of one than now, when she turned her hatred on Darth Sidious himself.

“And what would your father think, if he saw you now? Weeping over a dead trooper like a child with a broken toy.” The Chancellor sneered. “What became of the proud Countess? Or the ruthless Darth Caedes. You’ve proven yourself more than capable, just to become this?” 

“What does it matter what he thinks?” She swallowed hard. 

“He has a habit of asking me about your welfare.” Palpatine stepped even with her, looking dispassionately down at the dead man. “It’s quite annoying.”

She scoffed, reaching over to fold Fives’ hands over his waist carefully. His fingers were still pliable, rigor mortis not yet set in. Still, they were cold. Her sunshine, cold… it made her want to climb up on the table and be dropped into the cremator with him. Maybe she’d finally be warm enough at the end. “You chose him. You came to our home to drag him to the Dark Side.”

“And you followed willingly. There’s blood on your hands just like his, and mine.” Palpatine gave her an appraising look. “Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly lost your nerve, over a traitorous clone.” 

“He wasn’t a traitor!” She snapped before she could stop herself. Her voice echoed around the empty morgue, rattling off sterile metal. “He was the most loyal man I’ve ever known! The kindest, the bravest!” 

“He tried to kill me.” Palpatine rolled his eyes. 

“Then you should have died!” She clenched her fists. “Could you leave me nothing?! Isn't it enough you took my Father? I was six years old, and you stole him from me and left a cruel Master in his place. Now you take Fives, and expect me to pretend he didn’t matter?!” 

She was snatched by her wrist by the elder Sith, forced to her knees as fury bloomed in his eyes. “Do not mistake my leniency with you for permission. I’ve suffered through your insolence long enough.” He snarled. “There are apprentices with far more promise than you that I’ve killed for daring to speak to me with half that cheek.” 

Kya didn’t care. “Then do it. Lightning, lightsaber, whatever it takes. Send me to my mother and Fives.” She challenged, snatching her hand out of his grip. When the punishment didn’t come, she narrowed her eyes. It didn’t make sense…. She hadn’t been seen coming here, she knew she hadn’t. She’d been here too long and access had been forbidden to give credibility to the idea that Fives had some kind of mild-altering virus. A lightsaber wound would cast suspicion on the Jedi, something Palpatine would want…. “You can’t do it.” She breathed. “You need me.” 

“You give yourself too much praise, girl. You’re a decent assassin and spy, nothing more.”

She pursed her lips. “You’ve been in the Senate, with more knowledge of goings-on than I had… you didn’t need a spy. You were keeping me close as a bargaining chip against my Father, weren’t you. He’s funding your war for you.” 

It all made perfect sense now. She was a cog in the wheel of manipulation, her training one part of a long-term plan to bring the entire galaxy to its knees. Kya had to give him credit, Sheev Palpatine was disgustingly intelligent. 

“I”m beginning to wonder if you’re worth the effort, or if I shouldn’t just kill you and have the Kaminoans clone another one. A quieter one. I’m sure an infant version would keep the Count more loyal than a mouthy little-”

“Just get out.” She climbed to her feet and turned back to her dearest, darling, dead clone. “You’ve got everything you need to win, no matter how the war goes. The money, the power, the Jedi backed into a corner. Take the galaxy. Just let me grieve my little part of it you’ve already destroyed.”

He stared at her profile for a long moment, considering her in her entirely. She wore no makeup, sweat on her pale blue brow. Her shoulders slumped, defeated, as she held herself up over the edge of the morgue slab. Her hair was a tangled mess from a pell-mell dash across half the city sector, trying to get to Fives when he’d called her half-coherent. She’d made out “Tup… dead… it’s in our heads… cyar’ika, I need you… 79’s…” 

Her clothes, a rumpled knee-length dress with breeches and flats, had been what she’d been wearing at her apartment as she finished making Zara’s recipe for muffins. There was even a flour smudge on her front, since she kept forgetting to buy an apron. Fives had been supposed to be back sooner, but he’d said he was detouring to Kamino because something was wrong with Tup. He’d tell her when he got home what happened, he always did…. Even with all the evidence of the hardest day of her life, she was a pretty girl. Tall, fit, with large gold eyes and a silent strength that could even get her to stand up to him.

“You make no sense to me.” He finally muttered. “You’re a decent looking young woman, an heiress to a vast fortune with breeding and education. And you’re no stranger to war or death. I don’t understand why you would fall apart over a clone?” 

“Of course you don’t.” She said tiredly. “If you did, none of this would have happened.” 

A Sith Master could never understand. If they knew love like this, how could they bear to destroy it? 

He just shook his head as she leaned over a little further, touching the trooper’s cheek softly. “Just come when you’re called, you insolent brat. Your father’s affections for you may be in question, but yours for him are not.”

“Fine.” She smoothed her thumb over Five’s cheekbone. He didn’t even look like himself with his head shaved, in unpainted white armor. “Just get out.”

Palpatine seemed bored watching her broken heart bleed, and walked out with a slam of the metal door. Once he was gone and the echoes had faded, Kya finally dropped her head against his motionless shoulder. “I’m sorry.” She rasped, tears dripping from her cheeks. “I didn’t get there in time. I didn’t save you. You saved me and I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry, Fives…” 

He’d be with his twin, Echo, now. He’d be happy in whatever afterlife the Force afforded clones. She hoped it was a beautiful one, and that he didn’t hate her too much for lying to him. 

When her fingers grasped his chestplate, trying to convey one final act of love before she gave up on anything worth living for and sank into the darkness her father had chosen as her inheritance, there was a faint gasp by her ear. Kya snatched her head up. 

The empty, blank face she’d been staring at for well over an hour was just as pale, but his brows were pinched together. Slowly she flicked her hand up, the rolling cart of tools waiting for Fives’ autopsy in the morning rolling to her. She plucked a bone saw up, shuddering at the touch of the cold metal, and placed the dull back of it under Fives’ nose. A tiny mist of fog appeared on the stainless durasteel. 

A breath. 

“Fives?” Kya’s breath shuddered out in a rush. He was alive. 

She had to get him out of here. 

***Fresh poison each week***

[nikethestatue]

Elain's Potatoes

Elriel Month: Happy Solstice

Summary: It's Solstice and Elain Archeron is suffering from her cycle. Azriel sneaks out to see her, and cooks her Solstice dinner, and some potatoes, with a twist. He is also on the forefront of the advances of menstrual pad design. Romantic fluff ensues.

(what book was Elain reading?)

Nobody dies in this one, but it's a biggie--8K words

“Elain cancelled on me.”

Nesta’s lower lip jutted forward, and even though she attempted not to show that she was upset, Cassian could see that she was in fact, upset.

“Elain cancelled?” he peered at his wife in confusion, “Elain never cancels,” he argued and Nesta sighed and sipped her coffee from her huge cup, which Azriel brought her from the continent–along with this new drink, called coffee. Cassian’s had it before, because Azriel was a fan, but coffee was bitter and strange tasting. Personally, he preferred tea. Nesta found a kindred spirit in Azriel, and they liked their coffee as black as their souls. 

“Did she say why?” he asked, taking a bite of his eggs.

This was a busy week–Solstice week. It was possible that Elain was running around, preparing, buying gifts and all that, but still, it was unusual for Elain to cancel on anyone, let alone Nesta. The two of them have been looking forward to a day together–shopping, buying mantle ornaments and tinsel, and then they were expecting to meet Feyre for afternoon tea at one of the Tea Houses. Cassian had no say in the matter, but he frowned upon these afternoon teas, because it was just an excuse to eat unhealthy things such as scones and pastries, but it’s not like anyone would listen to him if he told them to indulge in a nice salad. So he kept his mouth shut. At least the three sisters were happy(ier)--nicely filled out, all three with a purpose, one a mother, two mated, the third…well, she was a head-scratcher that’s for sure, and Cassian didn’t exactly know what was happening with her. Elain, so very beautiful, soft, likeable, kind, good natured, and sweet, had way too many men problems. 

“She has her cycle,” Nesta grunted.

Cassian cleared his throat and buried his face in his tea cup. He wasn’t in the mood to discuss his sister-in-law’s bleeding. But he did ask, “so she’ll be indisposed for the whole thing?”

“I don’t know,” Nesta admitted, “but we won’t make her come to dinner if she doesn’t want to come.”

Cassian took a sip of his tea and turned the page of the newspaper that he was reading. He loved these quiet mornings with his wife, his beautiful mate. It’s been less than a year since they had their gorgeous mating ceremony, followed by a much quicker and quieter wedding, where it was only their families present. Nesta wanted a human ceremony and Cassian didn’t mind it. Since then, they’ve been falling in love. The time’s been quiet, and wholly theirs. They went on their honeymoon to Day Court, where Helion offered to give them a seaside villa, which was absolutely enchanting. Nesta wouldn’t leave the azure waters of the sea, swimming from morning ‘till night, only leaving to eat, nap and make love. 

“Azriel will be disappointed,” Cassian muttered absently, turning the page again. 

Nesta threw him a sharp look and raised a brow at his comment. 

“Why would he be disappointed?”

Cassian shrugged and explained, sounding very casual, “Well, you know how he likes the odd little gifts that she gives him for Solstice. I think he will miss that.”

Nesta hummed to herself but didn’t say anything further. 

Did Cassian finally begin suspecting something?

-

Azriel arrived at the River Estate on time, as usual, but without any enthusiasm or any pep in her step.

The shadows that swarmed him already informed him that Elain was not at the house, and he wondered if she was just running late. That was unlike her though. She was punctual, just like he was. Additionally, he assumed that she would be busy preparing dinner, maybe baking Feyre’s birthday cake. But the shadows confirmed that she was definitely absent.

The moment he opened the doors, he was swallowed up in the glitz of the estate, the abundant and glamorous decorations and the scent of roasting chicken.

Try as he might, Azriel couldn't get used to the River Estate. It didn’t feel like anything to him. A shell. In the past, they’d all cram into the townhouse, and it was tight, but heaps of fun all the same. Sometimes, they celebrated Solstice at the House of Wind, and that was a free-for-all of wild shenanigans. One time he woke up dressed as a cow. Another time Mor and Cassian were betting that they could swing from a chandelier–not surprisingly, both fell on their asses and the chandelier fell on the floor, which resulted in the five of them sweeping a million crystals the following day. Cassian swore that he wouldn’t go barefoot into that room even now. Mother’s tits, those were some fun times!

The River Estate made him tense. Like he was in the presence of his High Lord, and not his brother and friend. The baby and Elain were the only two things that he liked about being here–they softened the edges, and made the vast place feel more homey. There have been a few times when Rhys and Feyre were out, and Elain stayed with the baby. Azriel made sure to ‘accidentally’ drop by on those days, under the pretence of delivering something for Rhys. Or ‘forgetting’ that his High Lord wasn’t around to see him. Whether Elain realised that he was chancing an evening with her, he was not entirely sure, but Elain always managed to see right through him. It doesn’t matter. Those evenings were special. They cared for the baby together–fed him, played with him, bathed him, changed him and put him to sleep. Elain had a terrible singing voice, though she played the fortepiano, as he found out. He, on the other hand, had a very good voice, but he never sang…not in front of anyone. When it was just the three of them though, he felt pretty comfortable, and he sang some Illyrian lullabies to his nephew. Elain sat, with her cheek propped on her knee and listened quietly.

“Where is my beautiful mate?”

It was the first thing that reached Azriel’s ears the moment he stepped into the house. Lucien’s voice. Attempting to school his scowl into something presentable and not frightening, Azriel removed his jacket and then stepped into the large parlour where the family and guests were gathered. His eyes immediately went to the window seat, where Elain liked to sit when there were larger gatherings–observing, being part of the party, and yet, always separate. Much like he did himself. Tonight, the seat was empty, and something broke inside his chest at the sight of it, at the absence of her. That’s all he was looking forward to tonight–just stealing a few moments together, exchanging a few sentences, brushing his hands over hers, maybe the opportunity to wrap his finger around her braid. Between Rhysand and Lucien hovering on the periphery, he knew that any chances of something more meaningful would be impossible, but he was used to living on crumbs of opportunities and affection that were thrown his way.

“She won't be attending tonight,” he heard Feyre answer.

“Oh, what happened?” Lucien sounded concerned.

There was a pause, and then Feyre offered, “she is indisposed’.

“Doesn't she live here?” Lucien pressed.

“No,” Cassian boomed, “Ellie moved out and now lives at the townhouse.”

“So, I won’t see her at all this week?” Lucien inquired meekly.

“I am sorry, Lucien. I don’t think so. I should’ve let you know…”

The shadows immediately peeled away from Azriel’s body and slithered off and away, rushing to investigate further. 

-

Mor was getting a platter of cookies and another bottle of wine from the kitchen, when an iron grip clasped her upper arm.

“Aw, Az, what the Hel?” she hissed, not having heard him materialise behind her.

“I need you to do something for me,” he said quietly.

“Now?” she cried and he squeezed her arm tighter, warning her to keep quiet.

“Get off me,” she growled, ready to go to battle with him. “What do you want?”

“Yes now,” he said simply, and gently, but urgently dragged her into the hallway.

“What in the world is so urgent on Solstice?!?” she slapped his chest. 

It was cute, but not as cute as when Elain did it. 

Sometimes, he did something incorrectly on purpose, so Elain could get all adorably frustrated and huffy with him, and push him or slap his chest. He really loved it. 

“I need you to winnow me,”

Her brows knitted together and she gave him a look of pure incomprehension and disgust.

“Are you drunk?” she demanded.

He wasn’t, but he wasn't so sure about her. 

“I am not winnowing you, Azriel,” she grunted at him angrily, rolling her eyes at him. “You can winnow yourself! Why are you wasting my time when I just want to go and get more ham and drink more wine,”

Hissing through his teeth, he muttered, “you don’t need any more wine, trust me.”

“Fuck you,” she snapped rudely.

She could feel the response on his own lips, but he held back. 

“Mor, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important,” he said seriously. 

She finally set the bottle down on the counter and he let go of her arm, which she then crossed on her ample chest.

Sometimes, it surprised him that he’d been so attracted to her once in his life. He supposed that when he was a seventeen year old virgin, who barely even spoke to women, let alone saw them in Widnhaven, she seemed amazing. Indeed, she was–brashly beautiful, with her golden hair and big lips and large brown eyes. He even saw something of Elain in her–same intense beauty, though Elain’s was always softer and more delicate. But personalities–-why did he think that this could ever work? They had nothing in common. Their temperaments were polar opposites–she pushed and pressured, she needed things to be done her way, she wanted and if she didn't get it, she demanded it. Azriel did not mind, generally. However, it did grate on his nerves at times, and also, emotionally tired him out. He wasn’t one for endless conflict, acquiescence, and arguments. 

Thinking about all of this, only made him want to get out of here sooner and go where he really wanted to be.

“Why can’t you winnow?” she insisted. 

“I can winnow, but you need to come with me. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. You don’t even need to put on a coat,” he assured her. She frowned, disbelieving, but at least she was listening.

He continued quickly, “I just need you to let me into the townhouse.”

The request clearly confounded her. Her expression was befuddled to say the least, and she just stared at him dumbly.

“Rhys’s townhouse?” she asked at last.

He nodded.

“Why in the world……….oh,” her brown eyes blew up and turned into orbs, as comprehension dawned on her. “Ohhhh…ohh,”

“By the Cauldron, stop it!” he snapped at her.

Thinking, she cried out, “what are you going to do?!? Stalk her creepily?! She has her cycle, and I don’t see why and what you can do for her,”

“Exactly!” he nodded. “It’s Solstice, and she is completely alone. Suffering and in pain,”

“She might be just sleeping,” Mor argued reasonably.

“Or not,” he cut, “and even if she is sleeping, someone still should be with her. Caring for her,”

“And you are the one to care for her?”

“And why not?” he asked defensively, suddenly wondering if this was actually a bad idea. What was his plan, exactly? Barge into Elain’s bedroom, while she was bleeding and in pain? They were…what were they? Friends? Unresolved lovers? Definitely not lovers. He could only wish and hope, but that was in the past. Now, he was to be content with just being her acquaintance. Who desperately wanted to care for her during her cycle. Something that only mates and husbands did for their females. Lucien, certainly wasn't breaking down doors to get to her right now. He was happy to drink Rhysand’s expensive wine and eat the delicious roast. 

Mor looked him over and said, “you aren’t exactly the caring type, Az.”

“I care when I want to,” he said, getting tired and annoyed with this conversation. “Can we go now?”

She hummed and pursed her lips, saying, “I am not sure we should. It’s her personal space, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You don’t need to come in,” his patience was running out. “And if she gets upset, I will take all the blame,”

“Hmm, I don't think so,”

“Morrigan!” she snarled.

“No, I don’t think I will do it,” she concluded. 

“Fine,” he said calmly, but a clear threat was thundering through his deep midnight voice.

“I am glad we agree,”

“I will tell everyone that you are seeing Gwyneth,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

She gasped and clamped her hand over his mouth.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me,” he challenged.  

Azriel was the only one who knew about the two of them. Furthermore, he was the only one who knew about Mor’s ‘secret’, though why the hell she kept it so, he had no idea. 

It was scandalous though–Mor and Gwyneth. Mor was the teacher, regardless of Gwyn’s Carynthian status, and Mor was 500 years older, vastly experienced, and one of the founders of the Library, in charge of the priestesses’ well-being, and identities. A relationship with one of her students would be considered unethical at best, especially since Gwyn still lived in the Library and still served as a priestess there. 

“You asshole,” she moaned. “You are such an asshole!”

He smirked and offered her his arm.

“Ready?”

“I hope she fucking throws you out!”

“She won’t,” he said confidently.

“And I’ll tell Lucien,” she threatened.

Breezily, he waved his hand and muttered, “Oh, I am terrified!”

-

A minute later, they stood in front of the white marble townhouse, which was decorated with pine wreaths and had a crooked snowman standing in front of it from the snowfall that they experienced in the fortnight. The snowman had a carrot for a nose and seven blue dots scattered around its body. Mor blew on her hands and chuckled at the snowman.

“Maybe she won’t throw you out after all,” 

They entered the front garden and she poked at the two giant wilted leaves from some plant, which were stuck in the snowman’s back.

“Wings,” she noted.

He noticed everything as well and was quite pleased with the snowman.

She turned to face him and prodded his chest with her finger.

“You promise you won’t say anything to anyone!”

“I promise,” he agreed. “Though I don’t know if it’s me you should be worrying about.”

“Who else knows?” she exclaimed worriedly.

“No one. But I am curious how you’ll explain getting that pegasus from Helion and gifting it to Gwyn, after Gwyn will inevitably blabber about it to Nesta, who’ll blabber about it to Cassian, who will definitely blabber about it to Rhys. Because there is no fucking way that Gwyn isn’t going to be talking about her new flying horse.”

Mor let out a muffled, pathetic sigh and grabbed Azriel’s arm, turning him to face her. 

“By the gods,” she lamented breathlessly, the seriousness of the situation dawning on her. “Az!”

“What?”

Pleading, she asked, “What do I do?”

He shrugged, still feeling petty over how she almost refused to take him here.

“Azriel!”

“What do you want me to say, Morrigan?” He opened his hands widely. “I can do many things, but keeping Gwyneth Berdara silent isn’t one of them.”

“But if Rhys finds out…” her voice died in a heavy exhale. 

“Yeah, there would be hell to pay,” he agreed callously.

“But I love her,” she murmured.

“Not sure it matters to him.” 

It definitely didn’t matter to Rhysand when Azriel was in a similar situation only recently.

Azriel regarded Mor for a long time, considering whether he should give her advice. 

Azriel held grudges. It wasn’t his finest trait, but he couldn't help it. He was an Illyrian, and a Fae, and his grudges lasted for thousands of years. Could and did he forgive Mor for all the years of incomprehensible rejection? No, not even a little bit. At the same time, he also moved on. There was someone that he was interested in and who reciprocated his feelings and who concerned him much more than Mor ever would again. 

“It might not be the perfect solution,” he said at last, “but use magic. There is a secret keeping spell that you can use, or a Confounding spell,”

“Oh yes, yes…” she was nodding eagerly.

“It’s not ideal, but it’s something. It will tide you over until you figure out what to do. She is young and impulsive–I wouldn’t trust her to keep a flying horse a secret.”

“You are right. Maybe a Confounding Spell, where she’d just forget to talk about it and it won’t be on her mind…”

“We done talking about Gwyn? I want to go inside,” he stomped his feet. “It’s colder than Apollion’s asshole!”

She cocked her brow at him and muttered, “I wasn’t aware that you were so familiar with his asshole.”

-

Elain was in her bed, on top of the covers, curled around her stomach.

Fae periods were atrocious. They were uncomfortable and painful, though not as frequent as when she was human. But her new body still confused her. Why go through so much pain and discomfort only to have to wait years, sometimes decades to get pregnant. It seemed pointless. Why suffer this much, only to wait and wait in vain to have a child?

She couldn’t complain really–her cycle was pretty bad, but not as debilitating as Feyre’s, or even Mor’s. Somehow, she and Nesta avoided being subjected to the horrors that so many other Fae females experienced during their cycles. It wasn’t pleasant by any means, but she wasn’t crying and sweating, or shaking and moaning like her younger sister. However they were Made, she and Nesta were given a little bit of a reprieve from the fate of all other Fae females. 

The pain was manageable, but she was bleeding profusely. It was so abundant, it didn’t allow her the opportunity to leave the house for at least 3-4 days. 

Did she want to go to the Solstice celebration at her sister’s? Frankly, she was glad that she was missing it this year. Because he would be there. And the other he. The one she wanted, and the one who laid claim on her. And she didn’t want to deal with either one of them. She was lonely, but by now, this was something to be expected–she didn't have many friends beside the wraith twins, and she didn’t have a male either. She was almost 27 years old and she definitely thought that her life would’ve been very different right now–she might have had a loving husband in Graysen, and perhaps, even a baby by now. She would’ve been Lady Nolan, wife to a Lord’s son, mistress of the domain, wealthy and respected, and maybe even happy. Instead, now, men ran away from her, knowing that she had the blasted mate bond, which rendered her invisible in their eyes. Even Azriel seemed to have lost interest–why wouldn’t he? He was prohibited from seeing her and to him, she was unavailable anyway. 

She was feeling sour. Unhappy with herself, unsatisfied, unaccomplished. How did Nesta of all people get married before her? Nesta, who never had a relationship in her life, was happily, joyfully mated to a great male, and Elain…well, Elain needed to find it in herself to go downstairs and warm up some soup or something. Nuala promised to bring her leftovers from today’s celebration, but for now, she had vegetable soup to look forward to.

She turned onto her side with a grunt, feeling the blood sloshing between her legs, and wrinkled her nose. Gods. It was so gross. Tucking her nose into the book she was reading, she got lost in the world. She wondered if there was really an academy for the Fae, where they studied and honed their skills and powers? That would be amazing to attend. Not just stumble about in the darkness, not understanding her own capabilities, but actually learn how to harness it and how to do spells and other incredible things. If she had a handsome vampire Professor, she wouldn’t have minded either. He reminded her of Azriel–brutal, brash and solitary. She also liked the other character, the big dragon shifter, who was dripping with raw masculinity. Biting her lip, she turned the page eagerly reading about the angry dragon chasing his love interest across the bubbling hot springs, until they finally finally kissed. Elain’s been waiting for this moment for four books and it was here, at last!

She didn’t know what it was, but she suddenly shifted on the bed, feeling someone’s eyes on her. The townhouse was well-protected, with ironclad wards, fit for Rhysand. No one could get inside. Ever. And yet the feeling of unease spread over her and she lifted her eyes from the pages of the hefty tome. She looked around her bedroom, but there was nothing amiss, except for the unusual clump of darkness in the corner. The shadows typically didn’t gather like that in that spot. And then, to her horror, a figure stepped out of the darkness–a figure of murky gloom–a huge male body, swathed in shadows…

“Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!” Elain bellowed at the top of her lungs, deafening her own ears with her scream, as she hurled the thick book at the male. 

“Auuuu!” she heard the man’s voice. “By the gods, Elain! What the fuck,” 

Shockingly, it was Azriel who was now standing in her bedroom, the book in one hand, while he was rubbing his forehead with his fingers, where she smacked him with full force. “You could’ve taken my eye out!” he complained.

She scattered back, pulling her robe, her eyes wide with both fear and relief, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

“What are you doing here?” she cried out. “How did you get inside?!?”

He was still grunting and wincing, rubbing his face, “Mor let me in,” he growled.

She began to calm down a bit, but then crossed her arms on her chest and repeated,

“It doesn’t explain what you are doing here? Shouldn’t you be celebrating Solstice with the others?”

“Yeah, come to think of it now, I should be,” he growled. 

“Then why aren’t you?”

His left eye winked a couple of times and she couldn’t help, but giggle. He looked so...defeated. Like she sprung on him and completely took him by surprise.

“I think it’s obvious that I came here to check on you,” he said dryly.

“Oh,” she sat back on her heels and looked guiltily at him. 

His shadows were gone, and he wasn’t wearing a jacket, which told her that he probably winnowed straight from the party.

He walked to the white stone fireplace and poked the burning logs with a poker, adding another log into the fire. 

This was enough excitement for Elain, and she was now feeling exhausted, so she slipped back onto the bed, wincing from pain and discomfort. He caught her expression and turned to her, asking, “how are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” she admitted and he chuckled. 

She wore a comfortable pair of cotton leggings and a hoodie. Her feet were bare and he looked at them, taking in her painted toes and a thin gold anklet, which surprised him for some reason. He looked at her for a while, in complete silence, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. She watched him too, silent and serious, and then extended her hand to him, and held it there, waiting. He took two steps to the bed and grasped her small hand in his, while sitting down on the edge of the bed. She smelled heady and the scent of blood, arousal, her womb, her skin, her natural scent of jasmine and honey almost made his eyes roll back in his head. It was the most delicious aroma he’d ever scented. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her wrist, feeling her pulse beneath his lips, before opening her hand and kissing inside it. Her breathing became uneven and he watched a lovely pink blush spread over her cheeks and her exposed neck. He loved kissing her hands, small and calloused, and covered in a thin net of various scars. She explained that most were from gardening, some were from burns, knife cuts, splinters, scalding water, from doing laundry in the winter and chopping wood, from weeding, and mending clothes. Gentle, pretty, but working hands. 

“Thank you for coming to check on me,” she murmured, reaching up and tucking a strand of his thick, black hair away from his eyes. “You should get a haircut,” she then decided.

He nodded, “I should.”

His rough, scarred knuckles brushed against her cheek and he admitted, “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend Solstice with anyone but you.”

He looked at her bed, and then smiled, “now, who is this?”

She glanced over her shoulder and then took a stuffed pig that rested by her pillow and handed it to him. Azriel chuckled, stroking the soft toy.

“It’s Darius,” she explained.

“Darius the pig?”

“Yes. I used to have a stuffed pig when I was young and then it…” she stopped talking and swallowed heavily. 

He rubbed the pig’s fluffy head with his thumb and pressed, “What happened to him?”

Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and she murmured, “When the creditors came…they ransacked our house, taking everything and anything that was of any value. They even took our hair ribbons and pins. And I was holding him and crying, because I barely understood what was going on and then one of the men snatched him from my hands. He tore his head off…and then stomped on it, so it wouldn't be possible to reattach it later.”

Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks and Azriel just…moved. He couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to love and comfort her. He wanted to protect her and cherish her. So when he pressed his lips to her face, gently kissing off the tears, it was not lustful or domineering, but a promise. A promise that he would always comfort her and hold dear what was important to her.

“I found this one here, because he reminded me of my Darius.”

“I’ll always take care of Darius,” he vowed, kissing her soft, beautiful face. “Of you. Of everything that is yours and ours.”

Her arm fell across his shoulders and she looked at him, her eyes wet, her lips parted, the pig squished between their bodies.

“You are just,” she whispered breathlessly, “you are…extraordinary.”

“No,” he shook his head, as his nose slid down her cheekbone, “just a male, who’d worship and adore you if you allowed me to.”

She cupped his face between her hands and pressed her lips to his forehead.

“You may…you know. You will always have my permission.”

He kissed her hand again and then pulled away. Truthfully, he didn't trust himself. Even now. Even knowing that she was bleeding and aching, tired and weak, but also ripe and ready for him, he didn’t trust himself and certainly didn’t want to take advantage of her. Because he knew that he could. And she’d be willing. And it’s not like he cared about blood either…But he knew that this wasn’t the time and she wasn’t ready. Besides, as much as he desired her, he also wanted to court her and taking advantage of her willingness and proximity didn’t seem fair. So, he pulled away, even though he was gritting his teeth. 

“May I take the pain away?” he offered.

Elain leaned on her elbows and looked at him with a perplexed expression on her face. Her hair was a mess, slipping from the knot on top of her head and it endeared him even further.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t heal, but I am able to take away pain,” he explained.

“How?” she was shocked, for this was an ability that only some of the more powerful High Fae possessed. Rhysand, she’d seen Helion assist his soldiers on the battlefield, and perhaps Morrigan was also capable. Elain wasn’t even sure that Feyre could, or Lucien. Feyre was powerful in her own right, but she couldn’t take pain away. 

He shrugged and didn’t answer. Maybe he didn’t know.

But…there was always something odd about Azriel. His power was vast. It was like a churning ocean of dark, mysterious raw energy that spoke to her own. It responded to her, drawing her own like a magnet, pulling it to her skin, so it vibrated and sought to escape so it could dance and play with Azriel’s power. They’d never discussed it, but the most acute sharing of power that they experienced was during the final battle of the war. She could sense it: his power of Death, deeper than the swirling eddies of the Cauldron, and her power, bright and calm, benevolent and immense–the power of Life. 

“You can do that?” she murmured, looking at him in awe.

He smiled softly at her and said,

“You know me better than anyone. You always have.”

She supposed that she did. The mysterious shadowsinger was never much of a mystery to her. He allowed her in.

Azriel lifted her hoodie a bit over her stomach. It allowed him the view of a sliver of her flat belly. She lay back, a little tense, and he whispered,

“Think of me as a healer.”

She raised her brow at him, giving him a look. He smirked and then placed his large palm on her stomach. She concentrated, and then her eyes lit up and she grinned, after he pressed and held his hand to her skin.

“It’s working!”

“I would hope so,” he nodded, holding his hand to her belly longer than was necessary. His index finger moved lightly near her belly button, writing something that only he understood. Mine.

“It feels so good,” she almost moaned and Azriel sighed. He wished that she would whisper the same words, only under different circumstances. When it was from the pleasure that he gave her, when her beautiful body opened up to him, and welcomed him inside. Gods, she would love it. He would make it incredible for her, her body bowed beneath his, writhing, begging him for more, needing him, yielding to him, falling for him, submitting to him. 

He smiled softly, mostly to himself. He was going to have a fun time filling his Elli’s belly with his babies. This little tidbit might not have been something that he shared with anyone, but Elli was his. And the desire to create a family with her, make them children, ran almost rabid in his blood. He was a patient male, and he was willing to wait. But the fact that she was going to become his wife, his lady and the mother of his children was all but a guarantee. He was even more careful on his missions now–not because of any sort of fear, but because he wanted to ensure that Elain got what she wanted–and that was him. He needed to be hers just as much as she was going to be his. 

Elain’s slender finger wrapped around his wrist and she whispered, ‘thank you’.

“You are welcome, beautiful,” he whispered and then dropped the hem of her hoodie down. “Now, have you eaten?”

Unenthusiastically, she muttered, “I have soup.”

“That is thrilling. Soup.” He tsked sarcastically, but then added, “it didn’t answer my question though. Have you eaten?”

“Nuala made me porridge in the morning.”

“Alright then,” he got up and then fluffed her pillows, announcing, “I shall tend to you and make us a fine Solstice meal indeed.”

“What are you going to do?” she asked. “I don’t need to eat…I am not hungry…”

He hummed and said, “Keep reading your thick smutty book that you’ve used as a weapon,”

“I am sorry!”

“Good aim, by the way.”

She laughed softly. 

“Did I hurt you?”

“Only my pride.”

“You know,” he jerked his head towards the book, “I’ve read it,”

“You have?” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Yeah, where are you at?”

“The dragon shifter and the phoenix are in the hot springs,”

Azriel’s long whistle interrupted her. 

“They are about to do it.”

“Do what?”

“It. Elli. It.”

He winked and then disappeared, but not before smirking at her blush.

-

In the kitchen, Azriel took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and headed for the basket of potatoes.

In Illyria, produce was often scarce, but potatoes were always available, and dozens, if not hundreds of recipes, included or were dedicated to the humble spud. Females had all sorts of secret recipes for their cycle times, and while Azriel never bothered to find out much about them, he could cook up amazing mashed potatoes, roast them with garlic and rosemary, fry them, smash them with cheese and butter. 

He filled a large pot with water, grabbed the basket and sat down. Considering his options for a moment, he decided on using Truth Teller to peel them. His dagger wasn’t only for killing and maiming–he used it casually as well, but only for himself. Shrugging, he figured that Elain might actually benefit from a mash made with a Made utensil. 

Once peeled and cleaned, he dumped the potatoes into the pot, put it on the fire, and began setting the table–he pulled out the nice china from the cabinet, crystal glasses, and the real silver silverware. Then he lit candles in a large beautiful candelabra and grabbed one of Elain’s flower-filled vases, and placed it on the table as well. 

When Elli was going to be his and they’d be living here together, he was going to make some design changes. The place was a bit stuffy for his taste, and could benefit from fewer walls. He liked wide open spaces, air, lots of light, windows, unfussy furniture. 

“Az!” he heard her yell from upstairs. 

Smiling, he yelled back, “What’s going on, beautiful?”

“I am bored!” she complained.

“I’ll come and get you in a few minutes, gorgeous. I am just finishing up here.”

“Whatchya doing?”

“Preparing Solstice dinner, because we are not savages and we’ll have a proper celebration.”

Azriel found some cold ham in the ice box, pate, smoked chicken, a few varieties of cheese, and then headed to the cellar for the wine. 

-

Elain was feeling hot and heavy. Not because of her menstrual pains–not at all, because Azriel successfully took all of that away–and not even because of her blood, but because of the highly erotic chapter that she just read. And quickly re-read. She couldn’t believe that Azriel read the same thing! It made her tingle in places where she shouldn’t be tingling right now, and brought a wave of heat to her cheeks, and between her legs. Her breasts were aching and her nipples grew hard. It didn’t help that the object of her affection was downstairs, preparing dinner. Gorgeous and red-bloodied Illyrian warrior whose touch drove her wild with lust and desire. And he read this very book–its erotically charged chapters, with the handsome dragon shifter doing things to his phoenix lady that Elain could only dream of. She was so engrossed in the book that she didn’t even notice Azriel, who stood in the doorway, his tattooed forearms crossed on his chest, an amused smirk on his lips.

She blinked at him, pulled back into reality. 

“So?” he asked, “did they do it?”

Elain snapped the book closed and exclaimed, “I can’t talk to you about that!”

He laughed and teased, “but why not? I’d like to know what your thoughts are,”

“Well, you can’t!” she argued primly.

“Well…” he sighed. “Maybe later. When you are mine.”

She looked up at him from the bed and he enjoyed watching her squirm under his penetrating gaze, watching her little bare toes scrunching, as she pressed her thighs together. 

“Azriel,” she breathed, almost frightened by the intensity of his gaze.

“It’s not negotiable, Elli,” he told her firmly. 

“But,”

“It’s all superfluous, you know. All the barriers, real or perceived. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I won’t let go of the feeling. You’ll be mine.”

Then he tossed her some kind of white lump and said, “for now, go change–I’ve made some adjustments to your pads.”

Elain grabbed the cloth that he gave her and got up from her bed, scurrying to the bathing room. She was still not used to the ease with which Fae males approached menstruation, seemingly unconcerned about it at all, and willing to assist in any manner, treating these messy, violent female cycles as part of their lives just as much as they were part of the females’. Still, at least he didn’t offer to go inside the bathing room with her. 

What she was holding in her hand was her usual cloth, but it was folded and stuffed with cotton balls, as well as a strip of bandage inside, which made the whole thing water resistant. She glanced at it, awed. It was genius!

She washed and changed and instead of stuffing her underwear with six cloths, she only needed the one pad. It was actually perfect–comfortable, provided ample coverage, and Elain was thinking how to replicate the design for further usage. When she opened the door into the bedroom, she found Azriel sprawled on her bed, long muscular legs crossed at the ankles, reading her book. 

“This is quite the scene!” he decided, looking at her. “Ready to go?”

“Thank you,” she said softly, her cheeks rosy. She had rebraided her hair, put some blush and lip tint on, and changed into a different, prettier shirt. “For the pad…it’s very cleverly made,”

He sat up and said, “glad you liked it. I’ve made you a set. It’s downstairs.”

He got up, took two strides towards her and then swiftly picked her up off the floor.

She absolutely didn’t mind it, though she attempted to protest rather feebly and he basically ignored her with a chuckle.

“No, take the bag!” she pointed to a bag by the door and he grabbed that as well, groaning,

“What the hel is in it, beautiful?”

Azriel carried Elain downstairs and into the dining room, and she gasped, as she took in the beautifully set table, resplendent with lit candles and flowers. The fireplace was lit now, and it made all her Solstice decorations glow and sparkle to her great delight. Azriel gingerly placed her down in the chair and filled her glass with wine, knowing that she liked white. He filled his own, and then stood with his glass raised, saying,

To the blessed darkness from which we are born, and to which we return.

“Happy Solstice, Az,” she smiled at him and he lowered his head and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“Happy Solstice, Elli.”

“Thank you for spending it with me.”

“Of course, beautiful. I’d rather be here, with you, than anywhere else. Now, let’s eat.”

Elain felt like a queen, being cared for and served hand and foot by a mighty Illyrian warrior no less. It was surreal, but it felt nice, and what’s more, it was obvious that Azriel wanted to do this with her, and for her. 

He brought platters to the table and then a big bowl of some of the creamiest looking mashed potatoes she’d ever seen. Just the sight of them made her salivate.

“You made these?” she gushed, once he sat down at the table.

“Potatoes for my Elain,” he grinned and placed a heaping serving on her plate.

Elain attacked them ravenously, and Azriel had a satisfied look on his face watching her eat.

“Remember our first Solstice?” she asked him, as she helped herself to more mash. It was truly amazing. Not only delicious, thick and rich, creamy and satisfying, but there was something special to them as well, which she couldn’t quite figure out. It’s like every spoonful gave her strength, made her feel better, eased the heaviness of her cycle. 

“How could I forget?” he leaned back in his chair, twirling the glass stem between his fingers. “It was the first time you served me food.”

She swallowed another forkful of potatoes and argued, “it so wasn’t’.

The glass paused mid-air and he looked at her surprised.

“Wasn’t it?”

“Nope,” she popped her lips. 

“So when was it then?”

“The potatoes–which I did serve you directly–were just the first time I fed you in public. So everyone could see,” she explained patiently. “But you’ve been eating my food for a long time. All the blackberry tarts and lemon cakes–I make those for you. They are your favourites.”

“You made them for me?” he repeated, his voice quiet.

“Sure did. So, if you believe in all that mating nonsense, then we’ve been mated a long time ago.”

He raised his brow and asked, “Mating nonsense?”

Elain shrugged and sipped her wine. She was feeling pretty good actually. Normal. Like she felt when she had her period when she was human.

“I mean, you can’t possibly believe that a big pot is somehow able to find your perfect counterpart?” she challenged him. “Someone who fits you perfectly, and will love you forever?”

Azriel was so taken aback by her argument, he didn’t know what to say. His belief in the existence and the power of the mate bonds was so ingrained in him, and so unquestionable, he always took it as fact. But…what if…

“Look at Rhys and Feyre,” he threw back at her. “Or Nesta and Cassian,”

“Yeah, bad example,”

“Why is that?”

“Nesta fell in love with Cassian at first glance,” Elain said simply. “A lightning strike. He was everything she ever wanted, ever dreamed of, ever needed–he was perfection in her eyes. It was cute,” she smiled, remembering, “watching her back then. How besotted she was, how she wanted to talk about him all the time, how she’d look up at the skies to see if he might be visiting. All I am saying is that she fell in love with Cassian long before she knew anything about any mate bonds. Even the fact that we were different species didn’t stop her.”

“They do exist though,” he insisted.

She cocked her head and waved her fork around, looking like she was humouring him and his silly beliefs.

“Sure, I guess explain then why I am eating your delicious mashed potatoes on Solstice with you and not with my mate? Why you came here to care for me and cook and why you wanted to spend Solstice with me, and not him?”

To that, Azriel had no answer.

“I don’t believe in mate bonds,” Elain admitted truthfully. “But if it makes it easier for you, then I will feed you all the food you want.”

Lightning struck me too, Azriel wanted to tell her. I’ve loved you from the first moment I saw you as well.

“What did you add to them?” she wondered, changing the topic and pointing to her plate.

“A little magic,” was all he said.

So she could feel the presence of Truth Teller’s magic. It was good to know.

“I want to give you your presents!” she almost bounced in her chair, rejuvenated by the potatoes and Azriel’s healing magic. 

He smiled, “what about dessert?”

“We’ll eat it later. I want to give you your presents.”

“Fine, I want my presents too.”

Impatiently, Elain reached into the bag that she insisted Azriel bring with them.

He wondered what it would be this year. It was always something odd and hilarious.

“The bag is for you,” she said, and sat back, watching him, while he rummaged inside.

Firstly, he took out one book, and then, another.

How to Use Your Words and 10,000 New Words for Your Vocabulary

“Excuse me?” he glared at her, though a smirk threatened to break out on his lips.

She was laughing silently.

“You like?”

“Hmmm…I know there is a message somewhere in there,” he told her, “not sure what it is though.”

“There is one more,” she nodded to the bag.

He took out something soft and then unfolded it.

It was a scarf. It wasn’t a beautiful scarf. It was black, knitted somewhat inexpertly, with a cobalt blue thread running through it.

Azriel’s heart jerked in his chest.

“Did you…” he glanced at her, “did you knit this?”

She nodded, suddenly feeling shy.

“I am not good at knitting,” she confessed quickly. “I know it’s very ugly,”

“It’s not ugly!” he cut her off immediately, feeling the texture of the scarf in his hands, loving it already. “It’s perfect.”

She licked her lips and finally said,

“I think it’s Made.”

“What?”

“I wanted to Make it, so it’s magical,” she wrung her fingers, “it’s supposed to keep you warm at all times. I wanted you to be comfortable when you are out there, on your missions.”

“Elli,”

“Try it tomorrow, when you go to your snowball fight. When the other two are freezing, you should be warm,”

“You are giving me an unfair advantage?” he laughed.

“Umm yes! All is fair in love and war,” she winked. “But then you are expected to win, you know.”

“With this thing warming me up?” he puffed his cheeks, “I will destroy them. They won’t know what came at them.”

She clapped with a nasty little giggle and Azriel couldn’t stop laughing. 

Then he got up and went to retrieve something from his jacket. He  handed her a flat box and said,

“I know you don't believe in mates, but it’s the prerogative of a mate or a husband to give his woman jewellery for Solstice.”

When she opened the box, she found an opulent hair pin inside. It was stunning–large, so it could actually hold the mop of her thick hair, but also…

“I wanted something that spoke to you and of you,” he began explaining softly. “So I made it look like a flowering branch.”

The delicate branch was gold, and leaves were made of various gemstones–mother of pearl, diamonds, pale sapphires, and tiny specks of stones that she did not recognise.

“Azriel,” he gasped. “I can’t…it’s too much…”

Wordlessly, he picked up the pin from the box and then gently, but firmly thrust it in her hair.

“Beautiful,” he marvelled.

A rush of…power suddenly engulfed Elain. It was different from her own, but also familiar–she recognised it immediately. It was Azriel’s.

Her fingers flew to the pin and she whispered,

“What is it?”

“Tiny bits of my siphon,” he said softly. “For luck, and for you to always have someone of mine. And protection. And when you need a little more power, I hope they give it to you.”

“Az…” she looked up at him, her eyes filled with happiness and tears.

He cupped her cheek and his thumb stroked her face, before drawing slowly over her lips.

“I am tired of hiding, Elli,” he said gravely. “You and I–we are written in the stars. I know it’s more than you expected, but I want the world to know that you are mine. I am your man. No one else. You wear my gifts, my jewels. And you will be claimed as mine. The pin took a year to create, for every stone I found myself, in different parts of the world. When you are mine, I will explain the meaning behind all of them.”

His thumb lightly wrote Mine on her lips.

“I might be Death, but you will forever be my gentle fawn.”

[shirleydanders]

“Reunion”

CHARACTERS: River Cartwright x James ‘Spider’ Webb

SUMMARY: It’s been about a month of silent hospital visits before River hears that Spider’s awake. He goes to see him and their game, as ever, is on.

WORD COUNT: 1,664

WARNINGS: Angst, violent imagery, bad language, deep, deep sadness and weird dudes.

NOTES: This is kind of a fix-it fic because I refuse to accept Spider’s death as laid out in either the book or the show. Also, I tried to do a bit of a character study into why River is so pathetic and Spider is such a fucked up little freak, so I hope you enjoy that.

River knows how it feels. To be worth more vivisected than whole. Maybe he can sympathise. There’s something more compelling about his destruction than the half-life he’s slipping through.

So loneliness will always be preferable to the feeling of being sifted through for something more valuable. He watches as the light in everyone’s eyes dies on contact with him. He carries on talking even though no one’s listening. He was made a pawn, but the game’s over.

He knows he’ll let his guard down eventually. Sooner or later, he’ll offer himself to someone, to be broken down into those familiar disembodied bits. He can feel useful then, if only for a moment.

Pathetic, that’s what most people would call it. River has given up trying to justify himself. He doesn’t have the energy. He’s half a person; half the vital functions. His thoughts dissolve as soon as they arrive. Any emotion feels a hundred miles away. If he does catch up, it’s already petered out.

He thinks about his mother briefly. How she left him on his granddad’s doorstep at seven. Well, of course she did. She could see it, even then. He’s always been a ghost.

He thinks that’s why he doesn’t stay whole for long. Whatever he is isn’t worth being saved, not even an entire being in the first place. And haunting people is so painful. So he lets them take him apart. All the pieces. Until he’s just a husk, and they’ve slinked away.

Spider’s anxieties are different altogether. He is sure of his importance; knows he’s needed. But the idea that someone could overtake what he’s managed to achieve makes him sick. The constant need to sabotage, to prove himself above others. He marks his card as one of the elite, but the conviction he embodies it with doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Taverner never liked him. He doesn’t need her to, so long as she doesn’t like anyone else either. But she did before. She liked River. So when she came with the request to ruin him, a Shakespearean betrayal, he’d done what he had to. There was no place for him but the top of the food chain.

It’s never bothered him. There’s always someone undeserving in the place he should be. Who was the one weeping, smeared across the floor in the torture resistance training? Not him, that’s for sure.

It’s not personal. What River is or isn’t to him has never even been a consideration. It’s London Rules, as it always has been. Covering your arse is a lot easier when you can push someone down to do it for you.

When they meet again, for the first time since Spider woke from his coma, there is that stilted silence – the great unsaid. That has always been a game they played. There’d always been a hushed nature to their… relationship. Before the resentment kicked in, there was something else that was keeping them apart.

Now, even the love’s gone, but the distance remains unchanged. They’re too incompatible for that to be overcome.

Nevertheless, they are drawn together every single time.

River is the first to speak.

‘Long time, no see.’

Spider nods – a smile, half expressed, half tangled up in another moment, resting on his lips. He catches River’s insinuation. That Spider hadn’t seen him, even though he’d visited.

‘You gonna use that against me? The coma?’

‘Well, I’ve never been in one.’

The pair laugh, acidicly.

‘Never too late to try something new.’

The thin veil of playfulness shatters. They both wilt, as though resigning themselves to the opposite. It is too late. It’s all too late, and too messy, and too much.

‘That’s the last time I ask your lot for a favour.’

‘Yeah, well, we’re slow horses,’ River replies, teeth grinding slightly as he forces it out, ‘what did you expect?’

‘I would’ve thought not letting people get shot while you’re running security is common practice, even among your kind.’

They both know they’re not here to speak as though they’re on the record, in some unseen competition. They want to be candid. To possibly even be vulnerable. The trouble is, someone’s got to break first. Spider had never knowingly broken in his life. Ah, but River…

‘I thought you were gonna die.’

Spider’s eyes snap up to River, quiet satisfaction setting his lips in a smile.

‘That was never on the cards.’

‘Be fucking serious, I…’ River began with the anger that only really expresses itself for Spider. Every other inconvenience he felt was par for the course, worth little more reaction than an eye roll, but Spider is the one who gets under his skin. It’s impressive, really, how instantly he can boil River’s blood. He starts again, softer. ‘It just made me think about training.’

The glint in Spider’s eyes extinguishes itself.

‘You know, they say that when you’re in a coma, you’re aware of everything around you. That wasn’t true for me.’ Spider begins the observation in a cold, guarded way. As though armouring up in the terrible event of his vulnerability.

‘I heard nothing. Saw nothing. One minute I was awake, the next minute I was awake again. Nothing in between.’ There’s a pause, as he draws breath like a gun. ‘It’s what I imagine your life’s like at Slough House.’

River looks at him, really looks. If this is a joke at his expense, it hasn’t landed. Spider’s as serious as a heart attack, his words grave.

‘And, so what? You– you feel sorry for me?’

Spider just looks away. Maybe he thought about training too. What they had been through– only for Spider to leave his legacy in blood on a marble floor. For River to still experience a living death, everyday. Maybe he considered how sitting at that desk must feel to someone with the world to give.

Or maybe not.

The blood’s up again in River’s ears. His cheeks are beet red and his jaw aches from clenching. So much has changed. So much has stayed the same. They walk a hall of broken mirrors; a corridor leading to the abstract nothing. The walk had almost ended for Spider, but he clung on. If only to throw River ahead of him.

Why does River continue the cycle? Why is he even here? A voice in the back of his head answers:

Because he’s the only one who knows what to do with the bits you break down into.

‘I haven’t missed you being such a prick.’ River is serious when he says it, but it’s an evasion. It’s pointless too. Spider can see it for the hubris it is.

‘Cartwright,’ River hates when Spider calls him by his surname. Like an old schoolmaster. It’s loaded with association, too. His grandfather, the super spy, and him, Cartwright the Younger. The disappointment. The black sheep no-one had the decency to send to slaughter. ‘They tell me Taverner’s coming down. You might wanna make yourself scarce.’

Something like vengeance flashes in River’s eyes. How sweet it feels when the upper hand begins to guide you.

‘If they’re sending her down in person, there’ll be two choices.’

He let that hang. Maybe Spider had already considered this.

Maybe not.

‘I don’t choose Slough House.’

‘Didn’t think you would.’

‘As a new expert on fates worse than death–’

‘Yes, fine.’

It irks River. That, even while lying in a hospital bed, Spider still commands the room. His confidence, misplaced though it is, is like a dagger between River’s shoulder blades. The first piece begins to come away.

‘When will you be discharged?’

‘End of the week, all being well. Few more tests.’ He’s vague, lest River mistake his condition for any sort of weakness. It was simply a matter of record keeping that he had been shot. Dodging death in a manner almost offensive, and powering ahead like he still has the world at his feet.

Only, it’s starting to settle in. What River had said. When one choice is Slough House, the other is quit the Service. There’s no route back to the Park. This isn’t the minor blip he’s pretending it is. This is as good a death as he’ll ever get.

River might feel sorry for him. Under all the resentment, there might be a tiny sliver of him that wouldn’t wish his life on anyone else. Especially Spider, for some reason.

They sit in their torturous silence. When they built their walls, they’d been too close to see that they’d hemmed each other in with them. Stuck in a hellish limbo between saying nothing and saying everything. The goodwill between them, if it ever had existed – in the liminal ‘before’ – had run dry. There remained only an itch, like a phantom feeling for something that could still exist, but never will again. River needs to be broken down, and James needs to consume him. That was the unspoken order of things. But, to admit it would be the worst betrayal. Instead they sit, in this prison of their own making, thinking of what life would look like, as if they didn’t already know.

‘I’m gonna go.’ As River turns to his coat, he finds the forgotten bouquet beneath it. Spider’s eyes widen. ‘Oh, yeah. I got you these.’ He extracts them, now more than slightly squashed, and hands them to Spider. ‘Lilies, in case you’d died.’

Receiving them now, Spider knows what he should say. He’s opened up a clear line of sight. You got me flowers, you pathetic fuck? But he can’t. Some unseen chain snags around his neck. He holds the flowers, plastic crinkling as he turns them over in his hands.

‘I wouldn’t make it that easy for you.’

River finds himself smiling, despite himself. Despite everything.

‘I’m sure.’ He throws on his coat. ‘Give Taverner my love and… erm– enjoy unemployment!’

‘Fuck you, River.’

‘Fuck you, Spider.’

And although they both wish it weren’t, the world as they’d always known it is back.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Potential spoilers below the cut, but a super interesting article.

Some non-spoiler pull quotes:

Tom is my producing partner in a true sense. Before we had any writers or directors, it was Tom and I for months building this story out. We had a 30-page document that was like, This is what the show is: TVA, He Who Remains — even Victor Timely was in that first document years ago. And it’s just carried through. -- This is maybe — not maybe — this is the first Marvel series to never have any additional photography. The story that is on screen is the story we set out to make. -- We were casting, and “Everything Everywhere All at Once” was playing in L.A. and in New York, but it hadn’t gone nationwide yet. I think it was going the very next week. We had gotten a call from our casting director who said, “Hey, I’m about to put together a list for OB — just initial thoughts. But before I do that, I really think you guys should meet Ke, and I think it should be Ke. I think you guys should meet with him quick, because probably by Monday, he’s going to have a lot of offers for different things.”

Of the eight live-action TV shows that Marvel Studios has produced for Disney+ to date, only one has concluded with the explicit promise of a second season: That would be “Loki,” the outrageously entertaining series about Tom Hiddleston’s god of mischief and his metaphysical exploits in the Time Variance Authority.

It turns out, those plans were already in the works before a second of “Loki” had ever streamed. As executive producer Kevin Wright explains to Variety, he and Hiddleston began talking about Season 2 of the show while in production on the third episode of Season 1.

“As we were shooting the ‘Lamentis’ episode, Tom and I started having lots of conversations about how this world could build out, how we dive deeper into it,” he says. “A large part of what we wanted to do was not trying to repeat ourselves, and not try to play the hits.” At the same time, he adds, they also wanted to make sure didn’t start Season 2 by “fast-forwarding through the drama” of the Season 1 finale. 

And so much happened in that finale. To recap: Loki and his variant-turned-potential-soulmate Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) arrive at the end of time, where they meet the creator of the TVA, He Who Remains (Jonathan Majors) — the variant of the supervillain Kang who won a massive multiversal war. To prevent future Kangs from emerging, He Who Remains has used the TVA to maintain a single, sacred timeline — pruning away trillions of potential lives in the process. He gives Sylvie and Loki an impossible choice: Replace him as the head of the TVA, or kill him and bring forth an infinite number of Kangs.

Loki wants the first option; Sylvie wants the second. She wins, kills He Who Remains, and boots Loki back to an alternate version of the TVA, where previous compatriots Mobius (Owen Wilson) and Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) don’t remember ever meeting him.

Variety has screened the first four (of six) episodes of “Loki,” and without spoiling anything, Season 2 picks up pretty much exactly where the first season left off — before then charting its own storytelling path. The full cast has returned, including Gugu Mbatha-Raw as former TVA judge Ravonna Renslayer and Eugene Cordero as TVA functionary Casey. And Majors returns as well as He Who Remains, in addition to another Kang variant, a 19th century inventor named Victor Timely. They’re joined by new actors including Kate Dickie (“Game of Thrones”), Rafael Casal (“Blindspotting”) and recent Oscar-winner Ke Huy Quan as TVA technician Ouroboros, aka “OB.”

Behind the scenes, there have been some changes from Season 1. The series’ original director Kate Herron and head writer Michael Waldron both stepped back to focus on other projects. In their places, “Moon Knight’s” Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead have stepped in as lead directors, and Season 1 writer Eric Martin stepped up as head writer for Season 2.

To delve into the second season of “Loki,” Wright talked with Variety about casting Quan just before his performance in the multiverse spectacular “Everything Everywhere All at Once” changed the actor’s life forever; what the future of “Loki” the show and Loki the character might be following Season 2; and how Majors’ arrest in March for assault did (or did not) affect their plans for Season 2.

What were the discussions like about how to approach Season 2?

I think we had to just keep reminding ourselves that the TVA is a great world, let’s live in the drama of what we’re creating there. Which means not fast-forwarding through the drama that they just decided to stop pruning timelines, but also staying in the emotional turmoil that Loki and Sylvie are coming into this season with.

Also, there were certain things in Season 1 that felt like they were maybe a risk, and we didn’t know how the audience would respond. Once we realized that they embraced it, it felt like a lot of freedom to go further.

What did you feel was a risk?

In a very early draft of the script that Michael Waldron had written, that first Time Theater conversation between Mobius and Loki was maybe a couple of pages. And then a lot of other big Marvel-y action things happened afterwards, and we all went, “That’s not the interesting stuff. This Time Theater conversation is interesting. That’s what the show could be.” If we are really diving into the character-driven philosophy and introspection of self, that’s quite different than the last 10 years of Marvel movies. Would the audience follow us along on that? 

Tom Hiddleston famously held seminars on the character of Loki for Season 1. Did he do anything like that for Season 2?

No, because we tried to bring back as much crew as we could from Season 1. It was largely the same team. Obviously, we went from Atlanta to London [for production], but a lot of our department heads carried over, so there was an institutional knowledge that was built in. And Tom is my producing partner in a true sense. Before we had any writers or directors, it was Tom and I for months building this story out. We had a 30-page document that was like, This is what the show is: TVA, He Who Remains — even Victor Timely was in that first document years ago. And it’s just carried through.

So even as Kate Herron kind of handed the reins over at the end of Season 1, there is an institutional knowledge that comes with us being the glue between the seasons.

You mentioned He Who Remains and Victor Timely. You finished shooting Season 2 in 2022, but did Jonathan Majors’ arrest for assault in March resulted in any changes to the show? 

No. This is maybe — not maybe — this is the first Marvel series to never have any additional photography. The story that is on screen is the story we set out to make. We went out there with a very specific idea of what we wanted this to be, and we found a way to tell it in that production period. It’s very much what’s on screen on Disney+.

It’s clear that Majors plays an integral role this season, and you just alluded that Marvel usually does additional photography on all its titles. So was there any discussion about making changes to the show, given the uncertainty about what was happening with Majors?

No. And that mainly came from — I know as much as you do at the moment. It felt hasty to do anything without knowing how all of this plays out.

How early into the writing of Season 2 did you decide to cast Ke Huy Quan as OB?

We were in London, so I had at least some version of our scripts. The way the process works, they’re always being rewritten, but OB was in there, and his introduction scene was almost exactly as originally written. I would like to say it was in early spring, which was maybe just two months before we started shooting. We were casting, and “Everything Everywhere All at Once” was playing in L.A. and in New York, but it hadn’t gone nationwide yet. I think it was going the very next week. We had gotten a call from our casting director who said, “Hey, I’m about to put together a list for OB — just initial thoughts. But before I do that, I really think you guys should meet Ke, and I think it should be Ke. I think you guys should meet with him quick, because probably by Monday, he’s going to have a lot of offers for different things.”

So that that Friday, myself, Justin and Aaron, two of our directors, had gotten on a Zoom with Ke. We pitched him the show and this character. We shared that introduction scene with him and maybe the full script. And then we called in the big guns that Monday; Kevin Feige got on the phone with him and said, “Ke, I know you read the script. I know you talked to the guys. We really think you should do this. I really want you to join the Marvel family.” And he had already made up his mind over the weekend. It was like, “I’m there. I’ve been a huge fan of this for a long time.”

In Season 1, the show explored several time periods and locations outside the TVA, but in the first four episodes of this season, you stick to just 1880s Chicago, 1970s London and 1980s in the Midwest. How did you come to that decision to focus more on the TVA and building out its history?

Because that felt like where so much of our core character conflict was going to come from. There was so much intersectionality of our characters and what they think of the TVA. Sylvie wants to burn it down because the apple is rotten, as she says. Loki sees it as potentially the only form of defense against whatever else is coming in a war with Kang. Mobius and B-15, they’ve dedicated their whole life to it. They’re not quite ready to give it up. Renslayer feels like she’s been keeping it together, and you get a real understanding of why she thinks she should be the one to get this thing back on track.

We want everybody to be in the gray area — they’re neither good nor bad. They might make bad choices or heroic choices, but they are trying to figure out who they are. The TVA felt like the place where we could maximize that storytelling and learn more about those characters through that. But also stay tuned, because we are going to more places [in Episodes 5 and 6].

Do you think the TVA could start to appear in other titles in the MCU?

I would love that. Look, I’ve been siloed in on “Loki” for almost five years now, by the time this show finishes, and with every filmmaker who has put their hands on the show, we’ve all had the same conversations: It feels like the TVA could really be this exciting connective tool for all of this storytelling. And we’ve only seen a fraction of it. We’re dealing very specifically with this one smaller department with Mobius and B-15 and Renslayer, but you look out at those vistas — this place is infinite. The exciting thing to us is there certainly are more stories to be told there. We’ve carved out our own little corner of the sandbox and built something cool. We’re hoping that other people want to come and play with it.

One of the things I’ve most enjoyed about “Loki” is how it’s telling its own story, but have you considered bringing more of the MCU into it?

Yes, in both seasons of writers’ rooms. It always felt wrong to go too far outside of the box of things that would directly contribute to Loki’s character arc in these two seasons. So that’s why we get [Jaimie Alexander as] Sif in there [in Season 1], we play with the variants in the void and various levels of Asgard-specific storytelling. But while we’ve had nearly 12 hours of storytelling, it never feels like we have enough time. Eventually, just handling the stories of our ensemble and not shortchanging them has always been priority number one.

Now, Season 1 and 2 were always built to be two chapters of the same book. The hope would be going forward, there are more books that we can tell these stories with. I certainly think that we could start doing that.

Would there be a Season 3 of “Loki”? Is the future of the show finite or more open-ended?

I think it’s open-ended. We certainly did not develop this season going, “We have to tee up Season 3” — in the way that we did with Season 1, where there was a very specific, “Hey, we’re coming back.” But I also think that where this show goes, there certainly can be many, many, many more stories told with Loki in the “Loki” world, and in other worlds connected to Loki, the character.

Do you think Loki would ever rejoin the larger world of the MCU? 

That’s the hope. I don’t want to — yeah. I think the the sun shining on Loki and Thor once again has always been the priority of the story we’re telling. But for that meeting to really be fulfilling, we have to get Loki to a certain place emotionally. I think that’s been the goal of these two seasons.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

[caramel1mochi]

Trouble in Paradise! Gekko x Reader [Sample]

Heya again! I'm back, and this time with a quick story!

This isn't a request or anything like that, it's something quick that's been burning in my head for months but I had nowhere to post it that I wrote to introduce myself again, but this time with a banger! I hope you enjoy it!!

I'll still be working on requests, this is just the appetiser before the main courses, if you catch my drift. Anyway, I hope you have a good read! Oh, and don't mind the wonkiness. Tumblr formatting is such a doozy. I'll go back and try to fix any errors if I find 'em.

❤ฺ·。

Gekko / F! Reader

Words:  4k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Drama unfolds after Gekko and Deadlock get into their first dispute in a mission you were in charge of. Seeing as how this might put a stain on your record, you set out to make things right and unintentionally remind Gekko why he had a crush on you in the first place.

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Despite the lingering tension between them, Deadlock and Gekko never really got into an actual argument. Deadlock was simply too mature to let things get to her. At most, she’d throw Gekko a stern look before going on about her business.

And Gekko… he’s not the type to stir up conflict on his own. The only time he almost fought her was when she accidentally threw a Gravnet at Thrash, but it died down when he realised it was genuinely a mistake.

Today, however, was different.

Today, they were under your watch for the mission. And despite it being Deadlock’s third mission, you made the mistake of taking your eyes off of her and Gekko for one second. 

Whilst waiting in the VLT/R, you noticed that everybody entered except for them.

“Y/N, you’re sure they’re not dead?”

In response to Viper’s concerns, you shook your head.

You weren’t incompetent, so of course, she believed you. But if that’s the case, then what the hell was taking so long?

Crap, what if they died when everybody left?

Lifting your hand towards your ear, you unmuted. And almost immediately, Gekko’s angry voice blared through your ears. And you flinched.

“...because Wingman got stopped doesn’t mean he did nothing! Hey, he probably did more than you this whole m–”

You muted.

That did not sound like Gekko at all. Since when was he so snappy?

It was kind of cute, in a way. But now’s not the time to be having such thoughts.

“I’ll go and check on them.”

Viper nodded and allowed you to hop out of the vehicle, making your way to them. 

It didn’t take that long to figure out they were on A on account of how loud their voices had gotten. It felt unnatural to hear two of the calmest agents shouting like this.

❤ฺ·。

Arriving on A, you noticed them standing in the centre next to the generator, Deadlock leaning on it as she crossed her arms.

On her face wasn’t a typically serene expression. Instead, she harboured a massive amount of anger. So much so, neither of them heard the loud creaking of the wood boards under you as you walked, your heels elegantly clicking with each step.

“Why the strawman, Gekko?” Deadlock retorted, “I told you, again and again. It was a mistake. Get it through your head.”

“I just think it’s funny that you only make mistakes when it comes to my crew, you know? First the Gravnet, now this?”

Deadlock harshly waved him away, turning to the rafters you stood on.

“Then see if I care. I wasted too much of my time here. If you want to cry to somebody, then cry to–”

She stopped once she saw you, both of their expressions quickly softening.

“Cry to?”

You started, tilting your head.

Both of them had to look up to meet your gaze, the ledge you stood upon providing an unintentional boost to your already intimidating aura.

The blonde crossed her arms and turned her gaze to the ground, gritting her teeth.

“Nothing. I was… intending on returning to the aircraft.”

“After ten minutes?”

They fell into an awkward silence.

Keeping their bosses waiting whenever they’d call for a gathering in the meeting room already put them on thin ice. But keeping them waiting after a mission? Of course they’d think that they died or something horrible had happened.

Neither could imagine the displeasure on Viper and Brimstone when they realise the holdup was over some petty argument. Especially when it came to Deadlock, considering how highly they thought of her.

But the unamused look on your face says it all.

However, the worst part was the prospect of you having heard Gekko say such crass things. Typically, with a clear head, he’d never let those things leave his mouth.

But not only did he lose himself today, there stood an incredibly high chance that his crush heard him.

“Okay, fine! We’ll go back. Sorry for taking so long, and stuff…”

Then, your earpiece hissed.

“Y/N, did you find them?”

Viper asked. And just as quickly as she spoke to you, you unmuted and responded.

“They’re okay. You can go, but bring the aircraft back in fifteen minutes.”

“Understood.”

Just as you muted again, the two looked at you in absolute shock.

“Woah, hey, what’re you doing? Why’d you tell her that?”

Gekko said. And for once, Deadlock stood by him, angrily agreeing.

“I’m not returning to Viper with this on my record. If someone like Deadlock is going to start a fight in the middle of the site, then you’re both also going to settle it. Do you understand?”

“But–”

“Do you understand?”

“Crystal.”

Deadlock said through gritted teeth, and Gekko turned his gaze away whilst nodding.

They weren’t pleased, but they couldn’t really go against your orders.

It might not be your fault, but the idea that your techniques in battle could've caused the increase in friction between these two will definitely be planted in some agents’ heads.

If that idea then reaches Brimstone and Viper, and they believe it, it won’t end well on your side.

Deadlock getting in a fight was like Cypher or Omen getting in one. It’s incredibly concerning, considering how she is as a person.

You sat down on the ledge, resting your chin on your hand.

“Now, tell me what happened.”

“Deadlock almost used her cannon on Wingman, and–”

“Gekko says that I was purposely trying to shoot his creature but I–”

“That’s enough.”

They both spoke at the same time, and this prompted you to shut them up.

Bad idea.

But from what little you heard, you could clearly tell that neither of them provided an unbiased take on the situation. And unfortunately, you weren’t exactly focusing on them after the spike planted, so you couldn’t tell yourself.

Which is why this whole situation took place.

You sighed, and gestured to Deadlock.

“What happened?”

She took a deep breath and began explaining.

“The spike was planted. Their Jett ran to wine, so I wanted to trap her with my accelerator.”

Whilst she explained, she gestured to the left of the arched entrance. And you nodded, crossing your legs.

“When I launched the pulse, Wingman came out of nowhere and got in the way. I tried to avoid him, but I wanted to catch Jett as well. So the cocoon had a crooked path and an opening. If any of the others noticed that area and shot it, she could’ve easily escaped with one bullet! It’s nonsense!”

With each word she spoke, you could tell her anger began rising to a point she could hardly control.

“It was only luck that Viper had that wall up right after I got their Jett!”

You nodded once more.

During the mission, you do recall seeing the path that formed, noting how weak the wires looked as they desperately held on to each other. But it quickly flew by you.

Then, you turned to the Angeleno, who was now just as angry.

“Gekko, is this true?”

“Only parts of it! She’s just putting the blame on me like I can read people’s minds, or something!”

“Your creatures can take bullets no problem! Why’s my cocoon such an issue?!”

“I won’t let you harass my buddies just because you can, Deadlock!”

“Hey, look at me.”

They complied with clenched fists.

“Neither of you are to speak with the other without my permission. Do you understand?”

They nodded, Gekko fixing his posture and looking elsewhere.

You looked at him. Your gaze, despite the vacuous expression, easily pierced through his.

It left him uneasy. And a tiny bit awestruck.

“Tell me what happened.”

Unlike the articulate Deadlock, who took her time gathering her thoughts, Gekko simply let the words spew out of his mouth, completely discarding his inhibition.

“She’s right up until she blasted the cannon thing! I told everybody, out loud, that I was going for Jett, with Wingman in my hands. And I let the little man go! Then she took out her arm. It’s like she was waiting for me to send him out so she can hit him!”

“You didn’t say that through the radio–”

“Deadlock.”

Her mouth was quickly forced shut. A bit satisfying on the Angeleno’s side.

Only Gekko would manage to make such a calculated woman so angry. Same goes for Deadlock, now that you’ve seen this side of her.

In a way, it was poetic.

You sat back with a sigh and ran the situation back in your head. 

Somehow, this was even more aggravating for the duo, the atmosphere around them thick to a suffocating degree. But this time, you weren’t the cause. The best part is that it was growing thicker as you thought, Deadlock’s finger slightly twitching thanks to the fury she felt.

It took you almost a minute to try and form a conclusion, but you couldn’t. You didn’t see enough to make such a decision.

Besides, it’s not like you could just go ahead and make one. This wasn’t some petty argument. If their abilities overlapped in a different way, it could’ve heavily backfired. There had to be repercussions for something like this.

“Okay. I need to run this with the others before something can be done. Until then, I’m suspending you two. I am not to see either of you in the same room, let alone talking to each other. Is that understood?”

They nodded.

“Good. Now, is there anything else you want to say before we leave?”

“No, no. We’re, um, we’re good.”

At most, Deadlock wanted to voice her annoyance at how much you interrupted, but that wasn’t really important in the grand scheme of things.

However, you could tell that Gekko was nervous. From the way he stood, and how he kept his eyes on the ground even when you looked at him.

It wasn’t related to his crush on you anymore, something else now bothered him.

You got up from your ‘seat’ and led them towards the departure point, silence taking over the conversation as they waited for the aircraft to return.

❤ฺ·。

Gekko jumped when he felt a flick against his forehead, mumbling an ‘ow’ and rubbing the spot in annoyance.

“Hey, what was that for?”

“You’ve been zoning out for the past minute! What’s on your mind, huh? Did something happen back in Venice?”

Jett crossed her arms on the cafeteria table and leaned forward, decreasing the distance between them even though she sat on the opposite side of the circular table.

“You could say that… I mean, it’s kind of a long story, and I don’t think–“”

Wingman ‘elbowed’ him and scolded him for his nonsense.

“It’s not that important! It’s not like–”

Then, a series of gargles took Jett’s eyes off of Gekko and on the yellow creature that suddenly leapt off of his lap, explaining to her what happened in detail.

Jett’s brown eyes glimmered as he spoke, but her expression remained blank. Like an amazed puppy that also had no idea what the hell was going on.

Suddenly, he was swiped away back to Gekko’s lap, a red tinge on his cheeks.

“Yo, quiet, little man! I’m trying to keep that secret!”

The last words were spoken through gritted teeth, but Jett didn’t notice.

“Come on, Gekko, I was listening to him! Did you have to do him like that?”

“I– I mean, he was getting carried away… but he just said that, um, basically, Deadlock and I got in a fight.”

“Deadlock?”

He nodded, disappointed at this predictable reaction.

“Why would Deadlock of all people get in a fight with you? She’s chill, like, I dunno, all the friggin’ time? And so are you!”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about! The, um, the Deadlock part. If you think about her like that, then what’re the admins gonna say? They’ll take her side, no questions asked! They respect her way more.”

“Yo, Gekko, pause. You can’t be saying stuff like that when I don’t even know what happened. Give me a run down, yea?”

With a sigh, he started giving her a general explanation of the events, which took a bit on account of Jett asking for elaboration at random points in the story.

Gekko leaned against the chair once he was done, resting his arm on the back of it.

“...Y/N said that she’ll talk about it with the others, but, you know, Deadlock clearly has the advantage here.”

“What’re you on about, fam? What advantage has she got, she joined after you!”

The thick British accent snapped Gekko out of his bout of anxiety. He glanced at Phoenix who sat right next to him, sipping his smoothie.

“Since when were you here?”

“Gotta say, one hell of a feud you both got goin’ on, mate.”

“It’s not a feud, she’s trying to kill my buddies! I’m telling you. First, that bear, then Wingman.”

He heard a gurgle. But weirdly enough, it wasn't on his lap. They both looked at Jett, who was petting the creature she somehow stole whilst they were distracted.

“I dunno Gekko. I mean, I like you, but I think that it was just an accident like last time.”

“Give me a break. If what she’s doing is an accident, then you’re also accidentally stealing my friends eight times a day.”

She awkwardly giggled, turning her gaze back to Wingman on her lap.

“Nah, but, let’s go back to that advantage thing.”

“Just look at her! Deadlock has it all, you feel me? She’s like Sova. Experience, wisdom, looks, she lost an arm in a fight, too! I’m still in training.”

“Yeah, to be fair, you don’t look like you spent a day in a battlef–”

Jett elbowed Phoenix hard enough to shut him up, before meeting Gekko’s gaze with a warm expression.

“Don’t listen to them! Even if they take her side, in our hearts, you didn’t do anything wrong! We’ll defend you no matter what, Gekko!”

She spoke in a mawkish anime-like way, making Gekko chuckle. But he’d be lying if he said that it wasn’t cute.

“Yo, and since you like Y/N, maybe you can charm her into helping you out, you know? Take it from the man himself, mate!”

Phoenix thumped his chest once with a wide grin on his face. And though Gekko’s face turned beet red, he simply cleared his throat and tried his best to form a cohesive sentence.

“Dude, no way. Remember when Chamber tried flirting with Viper? I don’t want that to happen to me.”

“Sure, but remember, Viper still promised a date afterwards.”

Jett rolled her eyes.

“Chamber only got a date after he killed, like, four of them at once, smartass.”

The topic switched to something else, discussing how that date would go between them. And though it worked in making Gekko temporarily forget until the admins would come to a decision, his eyes still wandered throughout the cafeteria, worried.

And the unease only increased when he saw everyone except for his superiors.

❤ฺ·。

You, Brimstone and Viper sat around the large circular table in the meeting room, each facing each other as they discussed the situation, having heard you tell the whole story based on what Gekko and Deadlock said.

Sage was also meant to be here, but she never responded to the call for whatever reason.

It seems that, just like you, neither of them saw the events unfold in front of them. Though Viper was also onsite, she didn’t pay attention to them on account of her being busy with safely defusing the spike.

But that doesn’t mean they didn’t form opinions based on what you told them.

“Looks like a communication error on Gekko’s side.”

You perked up at this, confused.

“Gekko?”

“He didn’t use the radio before he sent out Wingman, he only spoke. I believe his voice was drowned out by the gunshots and whatnot.”

“Deadlock only said that in passing. There’s no concrete confirmation of such a thing.”

“I didn’t hear him, Y/N. Did you?”

She tilted her head with a raised eyebrow, the right portion of her hair slightly revealing her previously concealed green iris. You broke eye contact, looking elsewhere.

To be fair, he didn’t deny it. Either because he really didn’t, or he couldn't speak up right after you shut Deadlock’s mouth. Even you knew how compliant Gekko was whenever you'd so much as ask him to hold your bag or something.

“No, but…”

“It’s not too hard to believe. He’s still training under Harbour. He’s a good kid, but he’s bound to make mistakes.”

Brimstone spoke up, stroking his beard with one hand. Though he tried to, like you, make Viper more lenient towards the youth, she didn’t change her mind.

“The first thing you learn is not to mess up your communication. Even with the smallest mistake, someone could die and it would be too late for Sage to bring them back. And that’s a mild example.”

“None of Harbour’s notes on him mention any issues even related to this.”

You explain, Viper shaking her head.

“Why would it be Deadlock, then? This is a novice mistake while she has a notable amount of experience, even before her recruitment. I find it hard to believe.”

Brimstone nodded, before putting his hands down and sighing. Seems like he was convinced.

“If that note thing is true, then it’s out of character for him to suddenly make that mistake now.”

“So, what’s your decision?”

You all looked at each other for a few seconds, before Viper spoke up.

“Gekko failed to communicate properly.”

“Brimstone?”

He shrugged.

“Sorry, but she makes a good point. I’m gonna have to say the same thing.”

You set Gekko and Deadlock’s folders down on the table, taking a deep breath. Looks like there wasn’t much of a choice left.

“Will there be a penalty for this?”

“This is a major mistake, of course there will be.”

“Kid’s already in training, but I think we should increase the–”

Then, the door violently swung open, revealing a dishevelled figure.

“Sorry I’m late! Did I miss anything?”

Sage said amidst each gasp of air, holding enough files to look like a book close to her chest. Messy strands of her hair framing her face, alongside the sweat that dripped down her chin.

“Just about everything. We were about to penalise Gekko.”

Viper replied without lifting her gaze, unamused.

“Penalty? Don’t, don’t! He’s innocent. I was there. I heard him on the radio, Deadlock was the one who didn’t speak.”

Everyone locked eyes with the healer in surprise.

“Deadlock?”

“Yes. Y/N, you were there next to him, don’t you remember?”

“Not until now since you mentioned it.”

“So, Deadlock is the one who didn’t speak. Are you saying she intentionally ignored Gekko?”

Sage shrugged, setting the ‘booklet’ on the circular table and taking a seat.

“Perhaps she didn’t hear him, perhaps she ignored him. But what’s for sure is that Gekko did what he was supposed to do, while she stayed silent. Besides, I noticed this pattern in her communication. She usually forgets to call out what she sees. Was this not noted down?”

You shook your head once she gestured to her folders, watching as Sage tucked away a few strands of loose hair behind her ear. Of course, she was disappointed at this answer, even though you weren't the one responsible for noting down agent's inconsistencies.

“I am certain there are witnesses who can attest to this.”

“Are you still going with the penalty?”

Just as you asked, Viper held up a hand and let everyone fall into silence.

“What an unexpected turn of events. Looks like we’ll need to put her back into rigorous training. Everyone in agreement?”

You all agreed.

“Y/N, open her folder and write down when I tell you. You’ll inform both of them afterwards, understood?”

You nodded, opening the file and taking out the pen in your pocket, a sticky note just inches away on the desk behind you.

Of course, despite how useful she was as a witness, that didn’t mean that Sage didn’t get an earful for her tardiness. With how much the younglings here complained about how serious even Brimstone was about being on time for a meeting, this is the exact situation they never wanted to deal with.

❤ฺ·。

Deadlock wasn’t pleased with the news whatsoever. Being put back into not just normal training, but vigorous despite her experience felt like a spit in the face. And yet, of course, being the person she was, she bit her tongue and simply accepted it.

Next to her was the much younger Gekko, who stood there fighting for his life so as to not smile at the news.

Not at her being punished, even though it was a small part of it, but the fact they even thought to take his side against her.

“Are there no more details about this?”

“Sage will talk to you tomorrow at sundown, Deadlock. You can ask her questions there.”

“I see.”

“Good. Now, is there anything else?”

Deadlock shook her head, but Gekko meekly took his chance to speak up.

“Hey, uh, can I talk to you alone?”

The blonde silently took this as her queue to leave, making her way to the exit and allowing the door to slam itself shut; leaving you both alone in your dreadful office.

Just like the meeting room, the air was heavy. The atmosphere was thick, and your piercing gaze only made things worse for anyone unfortunate enough to speak to you in your office alone.

“So, this might sound weird, but, um, I really thought you’d all take her side, you know?”

“At first. I tried to convince them, but Viper and Brimstone are very rigid. Sage managed to help me turn the tides eventually.”

You explained as you crossed your arms, noticing the glimmer in his eyes. Gekko promptly beamed with a smile. You expected him to follow up with a simple sentence like usual, maybe for him to stumble over his words. But instead, it was something you never would’ve expected.

Just as you blinked, the usually meek boy pulled you into an embrace, wrapping his arms around you tight enough to unintentionally push all of the air out of your body and suffocate you. Being naturally taller and stronger than you are, he had an easy time lifting you a few inches to level the hug.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you! I owe you for this, really!”

“For– uh, what?”

You really couldn’t breathe. You could hardly make that sentence. And hearing your breathless voice, he realised what he did.

With a beet red face, he quickly put you down and took a step back, scratching the back of his head.

“S– sorry, I, um, I kinda lost myself there. But I really thought that they’d be biassed, you know? With how much they like Deadlock and that crap…”

Catching your breath, you took a deep sigh and met his gaze. You clear your throat.

Yeah, ‘lost himself’ is a bit of an understatement.

“Don’t worry about it, Gekko. The decision was made, and you’re now free to go.”

“But I have to thank you back for this, Y/N! I really appreciate what you did!”

You giggle and gently pat his shoulder. A simple touch that turned his cheeks red even more than possible.

“You don’t owe me anything. I'm just doing my job.”

“You sure? I could–”

“Really. It’s just my job.”

Gekko opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out as realisation hit him.

Clearly, you weren’t going to give in and allow him to pay you back. No matter how much he’d insist.

Then, he smiled once more, shrugging innocently.

“If you say so. I’ll drop it, then.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He eagerly nodded with a cheeky grin, before leaving your office just as quickly. The door slamming shut.

Though you were relieved that he gave in and didn’t pursue the topic, you thought back to the way his eyes gleamed with emotion once ‘realisation hit him’. Gekko was a stubborn boy. How could he change his mind so quickly within just a few words? You knew he was compliant, but this situation differed from the others...

…

Oh.

That wasn’t realisation, was it? He’s just gonna go and plan something else. Somehow find a way to thank you right under your nose. And with a group of friends just as cheeky as him, he’d probably have a moderate chance of success. You knew how ‘talented’ Raze, Phoenix and Jett were when it came to pranks.

Upon this revelation, you couldn’t help but sigh. You sit back on your rolling chair and turn on the laptop on the table against the wall. 

However, you couldn’t help but smile.

Though it would be inevitable to have to politely reject whatever he had planned for you, even you couldn’t deny how cute Gekko was.

Young people, huh?

[hhighkey]

Maybe some fluffy headcanons for Rengoku, Tomioka and Nanami? <3 Maybe how they would find out they are in love with someone and how they would proceed from there, for example?

//AN: ahhh this is so cute! hope u like it!! these are da my fave characters :)

KNY and JJK Headcanons

FIGURING OUT THEY'RE IN LOVE

With Rengoku, Tomioka, Nanami

Rengoku Kyojuro (KNY)

rengoku is tough to pinpoint

he's pretty self aware and was old enough to see the loving interactions between his parents before his mom died

he has always seen how kind you are to everyone you meet

your smile makes his even bigger if that's possible

you're his whole world even above his position as a hashira

he's vowed to protect you

but he worries

worries about how you really feel

there are days his confidence, optimism wavers

days where he wishes to confine himself away as he thinks of his family, thinks of all the pressure and danger he faces

it's a lot

you've always been there since you met at the butterfly mansion as a nurse

since meeting you, he has another person to come home to outside his brother

yet he still tries to avoid those feelings

it's unfair to you

if or when the day he doesn't come home arrives

and he's dedicated himself to helping others and you're slowly breaking down those walls of what he thinks he doesn't deserve

so it's the day you meet senjuro

rengoku had an errand to run and asked if you wanted to accompany him

you were overjoyed at this! this man lights up your life in so many ways, you already know the love you have for him in your heart

meeting his brother is special to you

and senjuro loves you

rengoku watches the way you two interract. watches his brother smile wide as he talks about his passions to you

you're so receptive and encouraging of him

it made his chest burst

in that moment rengoku realizes he can't deny that he loves you anymore

you've been his safe person for months now and he can't let you slip through his grasp

that night when he takes you back to the butterfly mansion, he holds your hand the whole way. his large hand engulfs yours as he gives little squeezes

he's nervous

you're nervous

but as you two reach the entrance he clears his throat

"i love you!"

he says it so proudly, from deep within him you swear the whole mansion probably heard

you're beaming, then throwing your arms around his muscular torso to hug him as tight as you can

"oh kyojuro i love you too, i never thought you'd say it."

"i'm sorry for the long wait." he says so warmly you know he means it

you two share your first kiss under the glittering moonlight and the two of you swear you've never been happier

seriously, rengoku would be such a perfect partner

and three kanoes may have been watching the whole exchange cheering him on

Tomioka Giyuu (KNY)

this boy doesn’t even know he has feelings for you

he just follows you around

stares at you

always making sure your safe (even if you’re a demon slayer or just someone who works at butterfly mansion)

you’d think by his over protective nature you were already dating him

it’s not until shinobu makes fun of him does he realize something

tomioka literally thinks something’s wrong with him when he feels nervous around you or butterflies in his stomach

so he goes to shinobu

she dead stares at him in disbelief and spells it out for him

you’re endearing, attractive, smart. how could he ever pull you?

he’s realizing why he wants to be with you every second he’s not on a mission

you don’t see him for a few days because he’s internally panicking over the fact he loves you

the dude realizes he knows all your personal secrets, favorite things, how to comfort you, everything

you just ramble to him as he listens and nods. you take him on all your errands. you include him in your hobbies

how had he not seen this sooner?

but what if he dies?

what if you die?

after a few days you decide something is definitely wrong- your hashira shadow is is missing and he’s not on a job

you march to his estate, letting yourself in

he’s dressed in uniform but sitting out on his engawa

for a few moments you let yourself admire the beauty that is tomioka giyuu before you knock on the wood to get his attention

“you okay?”

he knew you’d been standing there, he figured you’d come visit

“i don’t know,”

tomioka is barely ever emotional around people you’ve learned. he has some complex. keeps to himself. he’s difficult

but you don’t care about what others have to say about him

you love him

“i’ve been wondering where you’ve been,”

“thinking about you,”

you sit down besides him, feet in the grass as you bask in the sun

“wanna talk about it?”

you’ve always wondered if he needed the push

you never wanted to cross boundaries

“i’m in love with you. i’ve been so blind i didn’t see it… and then shinobu smacked me on the head about it.”

she would

“giyuu-“

“-it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,”

“you’re so dumb, of course i do. i’ve loved you for awhile now. i wasn’t sure how you felt and all.”

he smiles

leans in and you two share your first kiss

“i’m never letting you go now,” he’s so happy aw

the hashira are in some shock when they hear you two are finally together

but the two of you are happy

and boy maybe it’s made his ego a little worse

Nanami Kento (JJK)

he’s definitely blind to his feelings at first, never wanting to get attached to anyone romantically with this line of work

so he’s aware of them pretty quickly; but he’s pushing them away

you’re younger- some sort of new faculty at the Tokyo school

it’s your first day and gojo’s newest pray- which nanami comes to your rescue

after days to weeks of running into each other with small talk, discovering similar interests and goals, he realizes he wants to take you out

you're absolutely stunning, you take his breath away, leaving his stomach to do flips after each encounter

which scares him

he doesn't know if he deserves this, could risk this, but he can't leave you alone

nanami’s a proper man, serious about everything he does

you’re no different in that way

he takes you out for coffee, lunch or dinner, whichever you’re in the mood for - all to see your infectious smile

he’ll call you often while he’s away to let you know how he’s doing

if it’s late, he’ll accompany you on your newest endeavor not wanting you to get hurt

you never open any sort of door when he's around, you'll always walk on the inside of him

you’ve been head over heels for him for weeks now

all you want is for nanami to ask you out! what a stubborn old man

it's a stormy night when there's a knock on your door

nanami is standing on the other side of the door, suit jacket drenched

he has some cuts of his face, blood on his once perfectly pressed suit

your heart plummets

he watches you run around trying to make tea, finding an old shirt of your brother's he can fit into, and looking for bandages

it makes him smile over how worried you are

he could have died, both you know the chances

but that night, all nanami could think about how was he could die tomorrow and he wants to live a full life

if he never got a chance to make you his, he'd regret it

in the midst of your fussing he takes you aback as he lifts your chin so your gazes meet

your mesermized in his eyes finally not wearing the damn glasses

"i didn't mean to make you worry, but i had to see you. one more day without you as mine may have killed me.”

"huh? kento what are you saying?"

"i'm in love with you."

oh my god you're grinning

"can i kiss you?"

you don't even answer, you just close the gap by pressing your lips to his

"about time."