#but she gave birth over the weekend and now everything she was doing is being directed to me

[mostlykind]

going to waste 10 minutes in the toilet again. what are they gonna do? ask me what I was doing?

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch 22]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

chapter masterlist

Words: 4.3k

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It takes you a little over an hour to get Minnie to go down for bed. Tomorrow is her birthday party and to say she is excited is an understatement. She was practically jumping off the walls and it took three different books, a bottle, and two lullabies to finally get her to drift off. You are thankful when she doesn’t sit up again and call for you after five minutes, because you have a lot to do. 

You need to clean up the apartment and decorate, you need to prepare pancake batter for a princess style breakfast, you need to finish wrapping presents, and you need to set up the couch for Matt. He will be coming by after his Patrol so he can stay the night and Minnie can wake up to the surprise of him being there, which is the perfect way to start her celebratory weekend.

But before any of that, you need to go take a shower so you can have a proper breakdown. 

When you were younger, you believed crying was a sign of weakness. Your parents had treated it as such, always dismissive if you cried. The reason had never mattered - shedding tears was pointless and for children, so you had learned to bottle everything up and push it all down until the act of crying physically hurt you. Only very recently did you accept that crying is healthy. 

You still hate doing it, though, and the only way you have found to balance your shame and your need for that emotional release is to treat it like another task you need to accomplish. 

You triple check your daughter is truly asleep before you close the door to the bathroom and start the water. You keep yourself composed as you strip and only once you are under the spray do you let the tears start to fall. 

So much has happened in such a short time and your anxiety has been through the roof. 

The first bill for your hospital stay arrived today and you have been too scared to open it. You are terrified to go back into medical debt - giving birth in the United States had drained a lot of your savings and you have built it back up. You know there are all sorts of hidden fees, and you are going to need to do so much work contacting the various billing offices to try to get prices down. 

It isn’t even like you are fully recovered from being in the hospital in the first place. You only just finished your antibiotics last week and your ear still randomly throbs or rings. 

But honestly, you don’t know if that is from being sick or almost having your head bashed in. 

You thought you would be okay after the attack. You thought Minnie would be the one with problems - having nightmares and jumping at shadows - but after the first day of making sure you were okay, she’s been fine. You haven’t been. 

You’ve been plagued with nightmares about hands around your neck. You’ve been jumping at shadows when you leave the apartment. 

You keep constantly checking your locks and you debate ordering pepper spray. 

You don’t know what to do.

You aren’t okay. 

You don’t feel safe. 

The only time you have felt secure is when Matt was there to hold you and remembering such only signals your brain to send a new wave of tears. 

He confuses you in a way no one else ever has. 

You have never met anyone who cares so much before. It is overwhelming how much he loves Hell’s Kitchen - enough so to become a vigilante to protect it - and it is overwhelming how much he loves Minnie. You thought only you could love her that much.

Seeing them together does things to your heart you don’t understand. You just want to watch them play and bond until the end of time. They smile and laugh, and it is the only time you ever feel Whole. You feel like everything is perfect when the three of you are together. 

You don’t know what to make of that. You don’t trust yourself with it - you’ve never felt like that before and you are scared that if you think too hard about it, you’ll find a flaw and the feeling will be ruined. 

You just want Matt to hold you while the two of you watch Minnie play and that isn’t an okay fantasy for you to have. You don’t have that type of relationship with him. 

He is a naturally touchy person with a huge heart. You’ve seen him hug Karen and Foggy before and you know he has only ever wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. 

And he wants to comfort you because you are the mother of his child. He wouldn’t be around if it weren’t for Minnie and that is something you need to remind yourself of. 

Matt loves Minnie. Family is extremely important to him, and he has told you time and time again that he strives to be the best dad possible for her - so of course that means he needs to take care of you and make sure you have a positive relationship.

If you and Matt butt heads, that wouldn’t be what was best for Minnie.

You need to do what is best for Minnie.

Which means you need to stop crying and get to work. 

You wipe at your tears until they start to slow, then wash your face while still under the spray. It takes a minute or two for you to fully calm down, but once you do, it is like the tap is turned off. Crying time is over, so you stop your shower and quickly dry off so you can get dressed.

You feel better, but in a kind of dull way. It is like all the pressures in your life have been turned down to something more manageable and you know you will be able to focus on your tasks without slipping into a panic attack. 

The apartment is not nearly as dirty as you believed it to be. You have to straighten some things up and you take the time to wipe down all the flat surfaces, but after that, you start putting things up. There’s a pink and yellow Happy Birthday banner and you blow up a few inflatables you found shaped like flowers and stick them to the walls. You twirl streamers together to decorate the back of the couch and the dining chairs, and your favorite piece is the pink sparkle fringe to hang over the hallway entrance. It isn’t the most elaborate of set ups, but you know Minnie will love it and that is all that matters to you. 

Once your living space is Birthday themed, you turn to the kitchen. You went shopping today to make sure you had everything needed for a spectacular breakfast. You found a recipe for extra fluffy pancakes, and it seems easy enough - it calls for letting the batter rest overnight and you particularly like that as it is one less thing to do in the morning while trying to handle a rowdy toddler. 

It doesn’t take long to get everything prepped and before you know it, it has been close to two hours since you put Minnie down to sleep and you feel it is finally safe to bring her presents out of their hidey holes to be wrapped. 

She has grown a bit since you last bought her clothes, so you got her a nice little haul, including a new princess dress for her to wear to the zoo. It has sparkles and tulle and the dress comes with a matching crown you just know she won’t want to take off. You are extremely proud of the find. 

You didn’t just get her clothes, though. Minnie has been more and more interested in helping you cook, so you got her a little kitchen play set. It comes with pots and pans, knives, utensils, bowls, plates, and some fake food. You thought it would be fun to have her practice her skills - she’s a pro at helping you stir and mix, and she knows how to use a butter knife to cut up fruit. You hope she enjoys pretending to wash her dishes, so you lure you into helping into that part of cooking, but you don’t think anyone finds that chore fun. 

Before you can start wrapping, you need to go through everything and remove all the tags and stickers. It is a boring activity that takes far too long, so you decide you are going to multitask while doing so. You grab your laptop and notebook and settle down among your pile of bags.

Since your talk with Matt about Daredevil, you have been in research mode. The first few nights, you read every article you could find about the Devil. You started with the reputable sources - purely focusing on news reports - and once you had a timeline of events down, you switched to opinion pieces. You quickly ended up sorting those into three categories - positive outlooks, negative outlooks, and outlooks written by Karen Page. 

You took notes on everything - making pro and con lists on each major event and circling back to jot down questions you had. You felt insane - and frankly a little invasive - but it was how you processed things. You wanted it all laid out nicely in front of you so you could come to your own conclusions. 

But to get to that final conclusion, you still have a lot of internet sleuthing to do, so you open up a new internet tab.

One of the most important things you want to know about Daredevil is how real people feel about him. Published articles are always biased - it is in their nature to be based purely on who produces them - but social media lets the mass in on the conversation. You learned that well after the Attack on New York. 

You remember the majority of the news singing praise for the Avengers and how they saved the Earth - which you truly did appreciate - but no one came and spoke to the people whose lives had been ruined. Sure, they talked about how much destruction had happened and how much it would cost to rebuild, but no one had mentioned how Hell’s Kitchen and Chelsea had been almost flattened. No one cared about the low-cost homes that had been destroyed or the poor people crushed in debris - not when they could talk about the Big Bank buildings the Hulk had run through. Why talk about those genuinely affected when you could bring in a mouthpiece who was halfway across the world?

Iron Man didn’t give two shits about the people whose lives he saved. If he did, he’d help them in the aftermath, and he didn’t. None of the Heroes did - they started going around the world while an uncaring government was left to clean up the mess. Repairs went to the lowest bidder and many things were deemed too expensive and just left to crumble.

But only internet forums and ten second social media videos talked about that.

Matt talks so passionately about helping people in Hell’s Kitchen, so you need to know if it is real, or just all a puff piece. 

You look first into the forums and to your surprise, there is a whole section for New York vigilantes. You resist the urge to dive into the threads about Spider-Man and the Hero of Harlem and you have to scroll to the bottom of the front page to find something about Daredevil. 

It is CCTV footage of Daredevil chasing off what looks to be some teenagers trying to rob a pawn shop and there are a few dozen comments under it. You smile as you start to read them - the majority of it is praise for Matt, with the few negative comments being about the quality of footage.

And each thread you find about Daredevil is like that. You expected to see issues with excessive force like you saw in the opinion pieces, but there is nothing. People who you can tell are locals all comment about how he doesn’t hurt kids, and his punishments reflect the severity of the crime. Muggers get a few good swats while those who commit domestic violence are given as good as they gave. It is gang members and real dangers who end up in the hospital. There are about a handful of posts giving firsthand accounts of how the Devil helped them - ranging from them being in serious danger to Matt helping a drunk woman safely get a cab.

From what you can see, the people who post in this forum like the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and genuinely feel safer with him around. The site is a little niche, though, so you switch to a more popular platform to see if you can find different opinions and different opinions you find.

Just not the ones you expected.

There is a new picture of the Devil that has gained traction in his tag that is rather good quality - Matt is squatting on a roof, seemingly observing a street, and is framed in such a way to show off his lower half. His thighs, which you know are all muscle, are highlighted wonderfully and the angle of the photo only emphasizes his backside. His upper back and shoulders are all in shadow, but you can tell just how broad they are. 

Twitter absolutely loves the image, and you think you have to agree with them. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the screen.

Matt is beyond physically attractive, and it is no wonder the internet is lusting after him. There is a litany of lewd comments from multiple people and one made by a user with a cartoon frog as their profile picture has your core twitching and you quickly hide your face in your hands. 

“imagine him bending you over a rooftop and fucking you until all you can do is drool ♥”

You don’t want to think dirty thoughts about Matt. It makes you feel awkward and guilty but mostly they make you Want, and you desperately want to bat that away.

You very obviously have slept with him before and know what a good lover he is. You know what his skin feels like against yours and your mouth goes dry at the memory of how loudly he moaned while between your legs. His stamina is no joke, and you can only imagine it has improved since he’s started being a vigilante. 

You have no doubt he could easily fuck someone stupid.

You tell yourself you can’t think like this - you are supposed to be researching Daredevil to figure out how you feel about Matt being a vigilante - not ogling pictures of his ass and remembering your night together. 

You gently smack your cheeks a few times and tell yourself to focus. 

That only serves to make you more flush, so you make the executive decision that you have had enough screen time for the night and slam shut your laptop.

You have removed all the tags from the clothes, and you only have a few UPC stickers to pull off fake food, so you hurry through those so you can get to actually wrapping presents and not thinking about what you saw.

It is easy for you to get quickly lost in this new activity. Your perfectionist nature has you needing to make sure every crease is even and crisp and that each present looks picturesque, and you can't do that while distracted. Your thoughts shift from the way Matt’s breath felt against your skin to how many gifts Minnie has and how each one needs to look unique.

You know Minnie is going to tear through them like a wildfire, but it is important to you to make sure love is poured into everything. 

You never got that as a child. Your birthdays were practical affairs and more often than not your present was to go clothes shopping, so you didn’t get to unwrap things or have that grand surprise. You don’t want that for Minnie. You want her to feel like an absolute princess on her special day and if that means rewrapping the same present four times to make it perfect, then that is what you will do. 

You are finalizing bow placements on the gift bags you had to use for odd shaped items when your phone vibrates with an alert. 

For a split second you are confused - it is rather late, and you’ve muted most app notifications - but then you remember Matt is meant to be coming over. 

You don’t know how it could have slipped your mind and embarrassment burns through you. 

How are you going to face him after staring at a picture of his ass until your brain broke?

You hesitate to check your phone, but when you do, you obviously have a text from him saying he is on his way. You groan to yourself, wondering how you can save yourself from this awkward situation? 

Maybe you can go to bed early. You aren’t at all tired - you usually are up for another few hours - but you have a long weekend ahead of you. You will need rest.

In your bed.

Where Matt will not be. 

Because, for the first time in a while, he will be sleeping on the couch. 

Which you still need to prepare.

You finish fussing with Minnie’s bounty of presents and set about arranging them up the Happy Birthday banner like it is a Christmas tree. You have to resist your urge to nitpick and instead turn your focus to cleaning up your mess. You hurriedly shove the pile of trash you made into a bag so you can toss it and your wrapping supplies are tucked into the back of the closet, where they will live until you need them again. 

You do a quick once over to make sure everything is neat and birthday ready before you fetch your spare pillow and blanket. 

You try to not feel guilty as you start making up the couch. You know it isn’t the most comfortable and Matt will probably be sore after doing God knows what all night, but you can’t offer him your bed again. There is no reason for him to be in your bed. As frantic as you are, you don’t need any comforting. 

You just need to stop thinking. 

But not in that way. 

“Stop,” you hiss at yourself. “Stop being a slut. Pure thoughts. Have pure thoughts.”

Scolding yourself does not work as well as you mean it to and all you can do is pour your concentration into folding and refolding the blanket. You roll it up tight first like it is a sleeping bag, then you think that is stupid, so you fold it into a triangle. You realize that is trying way too hard, so into a square it goes. 

The knock at the door startles you and to your credit, you don’t scream. 

You do, however, bury your face into your hands again and take a deep breath. You are panicking over nothing. Everything is just fine. You are overthinking.

You mentally chant that mantra as you go to the door. You hesitate to open it, needing the extra moment to center yourself, and you are surprised you don’t automatically close it again at the sight of Matt. 

His normal daytime attire is a suit, and he wears them like a model, but you much prefer him dressed down as he is now. He’s in a t-shirt and joggers, with a five o’clock shadow and fluffed up hair, and he looks devastatingly handsome. He looks friendly and soft, but everything is just tight enough to show off how toned he is. 

Your body reacts exactly like it did to the picture, but this time you can’t hide. 

So, you run instead.

“Come on in,” you practically squeak out before hurrying to get out of his way. He’s got a gym bag with him - probably to carry his clothes for tomorrow - and your entryway isn’t the largest. It makes sense for you to go back to the living room. 

“Busy night?” He asks as he closes and locks the door, and you are completely thrown by the question. You must make a confused noise, because he follows up with, “You are out of breath, is everything okay?”

Your heart starts to beat hard in your chest and you can feel your entire body getting hot. Of course, he can tell what is going on with your body and you are nearly in full panic mode. 

You need to get to bed and away from him.

You fail at keeping your composure by gesturing around the living room, “Yeah - um - just been busy. Decorating and stuff - it’s a big day tomorrow.” 

“It is,” Matt agrees, a charming and boyish smile creeping onto his lips. You tell yourself he must be excited for Minnie’s birthday and that is why he is in such a nice mood.

“How was..how was your night?” 

He hums at the question, moving to set his bag down by the couch, “It was relatively quiet. With school starting up again and the heat, the younger crowd isn’t out. I made a few laps but didn’t find anything worth going after.” 

“So, there isn’t like…crime every night?” You ask, trying to wrap your head around it all. You haven’t actually asked what a Patrol consists of, so you don’t know what the average one is like.

“Despite what everyone thinks, no. There’s a good number of nights where I just keep things tidy, but being out helps to deter people as well. Not every night is drug busts and gang wars.”

“That is good to know.” And it is - it helps to ease your anxiety that he is out there constantly boxing people. People say New York is crime ridden, but it is not nearly as bad as it is made out to be. It is all scare tactics and sensational news - like the Satanic Panic.

Matt hums again, then tilts his head back towards where you hung the birthday banner, “That is a lot of presents.”

His smile is still bright, and you have to duck your head and bite your lip to keep your mind in check. Your mouth, as always, is quick to quip, “I’m not telling you what is in them. It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise, huh?” He teases, before kneeling down by his bag and unzipping it. You can see colorful wrapping paper peeking through, and you instantly wonder what sort of gift is inside.

“A surprise,” you repeat. “It isn’t any fun if everyone knows what is inside before it is opened.”

“I’ll concede to that, even if it is tempting to peek.” As he says this he stands up, holding three different sized packages in his hands. They aren’t as pristinely wrapped as yours, but you can tell great care went into it and you wonder if Matt did it himself. 

“Foggy said they will come over around noon,” he says like you aren’t on the verge of a crisis. “And Maggie was hoping we could stop by on the way to the park. I told her it would be up to you, but I know she has a few things for Minnie. We’re probably going to need to bring that wagon you got.”

The idea of so many people coming to your apartment for a party - especially a toddler’s birthday party - boggles your mind but your heart soars that so many people want to celebrate your daughter. You watch as he goes to add the gift pile and that confusing feeling swirls in your chest again, reminding you this is everything you ever wanted for Minnie. Matt being in your life means more people to love your daughter like she deserves.

“Okay,” you say because that is all your mind can produce. When Matt begins to stand again, you go into a panic thinking he might say something to start a conversation and blurt out, “I should get ready for bed.”

He turns to you, and you don’t know what to expect, but it is not for him to look bemused. He raises his eyebrows over his glasses and lets out a huff of a laugh, “It’s a big day tomorrow. You should get your rest.” He isn’t condescending or rude about it, but you can definitely hear the hint of teasing.

Your face burns as you nod and stupidly repeat, “It’s a big day.” You clear your throat to try and regain some composure and point towards the couch, “I, uh, left you out pillows and a blanket. The..uh..remote for the fan is on the coffee table. I readded the labels after Minnie tore them off.”

“Thank you,” he says with full sincerity, and you cannot take any more of his charm and muscular biceps. 

“I’m going to go to bed now,” you tell him as you start to back up towards the bedroom. You know you should tell him about the fringe covering the hallway, but you just want to flee and hide under your covers until your brain stops all of its nonsense.

“Okay.”

As you finally let yourself turn away from Matt, he says your name just loud enough for you to barely hear it. You freeze in place, but it is like your blood is boiling inside you. You breathe out his name in response.

“Good night.”

((“I love you.”))

--

a/n: orz please take this offering of a chapter - my brain is not working up to standard.

Also - Tomorrow is a Big Day

--

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[luvsreiner]

We (in this case me) need a fic where Toji and the reader have a somewhat sad relationship, where she has to deal with being placed in the shadow of his deceased wife, but she becomes pregnant and arguments begin because , how dare you try to do this? He initially rejects the pregnancy, taking into account that he already had megumi and didn't want another baby, he didn't want his old family to be replaced or whatever, whatever the reason, but over time he starts to accept it.

The problem is that he doesn't show this, he just continues to refuse to get involved and this makes the reader understand that she would be a single mother even in marriage and that despite her doing everything she could, she didn't belong to that family as she would have liked, so she leaves after saying goodbye. of a Toji who would go to work and a Megumi who would go to school. She leaves and leaves the divorce papers on the coffee table with a letter talking about how she felt and how she needed to distance herself.

So when Toji comes home and notices everything in silence, he thinks it's weird because she normally wouldn't leave everything off and go to bed before ten. He notices the letter and reads it, feeling mixed feelings as he thinks about the words she wrote.

As time passed and missing her became increasingly difficult to ignore, he decided to tell Megumi the truth about how she had left, correcting the lie about her traveling to visit her parents as he said before. So Toji has to deal with a barrage of questions and a child crying about how he had lost another mother, which made him even more worried and distressed about the situation. He gets in touch with her and tries all the time to find out where she was now, with the intention of visiting her and asking her to come back, but when he does so, she responds by saying that she no longer trusts his words and cannot see the feeling that he said he felt was true. With that, the conversation ends talking about the baby and how they would do it from then on, she gave some ways of dealing with what he accepted and from that day on, life as separated parents began. He would go to the appointments even if he was silent for most of them, he would be there on the day of the birth and help her because she was scared and he knew he had to support his (ex) wife in such a difficult time. When the child was born, they were blessed with a beautiful girl with dark hair like Toji, but her mother's appearance and it was one of the happiest days of their lives.

As incredible as it may seem, he helped her postpartum, and always visited them both when he wasn't at work, taking Megumi with him since he couldn't be alone and needed to create a bond with his little sister. As life went on, Toji managed to spend more time with the girl, now receiving her every weekend at his house, he always picked her up on Friday and took her on Sunday, and it was always the moments when he most felt anxious, despite always calling to talk to her (or just using it as an excuse to talk to you) and visiting the girl almost every two dayshimself by surprise while making dinner, he cleaned the wound and asked the girl more about the subject.

Apparently a tall, blond man was there quite often, taking a pink-haired boy with him and drinking tea with them. Did Toji worry about knowing who that man was, a friend or a boyfriend? Did you trust him so much that you took him close to your daughter? He didn't even realize that he repeated these questions in front of him after once again leaving the child at home. Your answer? He's a long-time friend who you recently got back in touch with. Nothing more, he already had someone waiting for him at home.It was a relief for Toji to hear this, he knew you didn't owe him loyalty, but the idea of ​​seeing you moving on made him bitter and even jealous. He said goodbye to you and went home thinking about the matter, that possible threat in the form of a friend was a turning point for him to make the decision to try to get your marriage back together. He opened the bedside drawer and pulled out the divorce papers that he hadn't signed yet, let alone sent to you, wondering why you never questioned him about it. He looked at the letters without reading them and tore up the paper when he saw his signature, they wouldn't need it anymore as they would soon be back.

*I don't know what he could try to do, but I think that could be left to someone with more ability to develop a story than me, hahaha. Sorry, I got a little carried away explaining the plot and ended up almost writing a one shot. Thank you if you read this far and sorry for any mistakes, I'm writing sleepily*

[sycamorelibrary754]

We're a Family

Summary: You and Natasha are taking your first vacation since the birth of your 5-year-old daughter. While you and Natasha are off on a romantic getaway to Paris for your anniversary, how will your Avengers family handle watching your daughter for the weekend?

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Comfort, Romance

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Some mentions of grief.

A/N: Thank you so much for the positive feedback on Come Home to Me! I hope to keep writing as I feel inspired and have time. This story takes place after the events of Endgame. Tony survived defeating Thanos with the Snap, and Steve brought Natasha back after returning the Soul Stone to Vormir.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Natasha questioned for the third time that Friday morning, as you gather the last of the essentials together for your 5-year-old daughter to take to the Avengers Compound. You and Nat were taking your first vacation together since the birth of your child in celebration of your wedding anniversary. Understandably, your wife was struggling with the idea of leaving your daughter. It was all you could do to convince Natasha to drop her off at preschool, let alone leave her overnight. 

“Love, we’ve talked about this. It’s only for the weekend, Mila is going to have a great time. Besides, there is nowhere safer for her to be than surrounded by Avengers. You trust them with your life”, you remind her reassuringly as you rub gentle circles on her back.

“Exactly. My life, not my child,” Nat muttered.

It had been five years since you gave birth to your and Natasha’s daughter. From the moment you both laid eyes on her your whole world changed. Soon after, Nat transitioned into semi-retirement with guidance from Clint. She was still available for daily mission consultation or if the situation was dire, but you and Mila are her number one priority now.

You heard little feet padding down the hall, as your daughter runs into your bedroom. Her red curls bounced up on down on her head “I'm ready Mommy and Mama!” Mila squealed. 

“Oh, Moya Lyubov, you look so pretty! Did you dress yourself this morning?” Natasha asked, getting down to her level.  

“Yes! I wanted to match Auntie Yelena!” as she showed off her mini black vest that Yelena made her for her last birthday, worn expertly over her pink tutu. 

“Auntie Yelena is going to love it, sweetheart. You’re going to have so much fun with your aunts and uncles this weekend,” hugging her tight.

After packing your luggage in the car, you make the short drive to the compound. FRIDAY greets you as you exit the main elevator. “Good morning Ms. Romanoff, Ms. Y/L/N.” The team is awaiting your arrival in the common room.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” you replied, as Mila lets go of Natasha’s hand and runs ahead of both of you, having been here several times already in her young life.

As you enter the room, you see Wanda and Vision in the kitchen as the smell of freshly baked cookies wafts through the air. Peter and Kate are playing video games, Bucky and Sam are playing cards with Clint, and Steve is quietly reading Moby Dick. 

“Little spider!” Yelena called out as she entered the room and Mila runs into her arms.  

“Auntie Yelena! Do you like my outfit? I got dressed all by myself!” 

“I love it malyshka, so much cooler than Mama’s outfit,” Yelena says, as she side-eyes her older sister with a smile. “We are going to have so much fun this weekend.”

“Yeah, about that”, Natasha interrupted. “Mission briefing in five.”

“Mission briefing? Love, we're going on vacation, not a stakeout.”

“Yes, but they have the most important mission of all, watching our daughter.” motioning to the group in front of you.

Your heart warms at how protective your wife is being. This is the Black Widow. A woman who would run into a collapsing building or intercept an alien invasion without batting an eye, but the moment she became a mother, everything changed. She vowed to give Mila everything she never had as a child. To break the cycle of uncertainty and pain that the Red Room forced upon her. Truthfully, you were so proud of how far Natasha had come. From growing up believing love was for children, to giving nothing but love to the both of you. 

Just then Tony and Bruce entered the living room arguing over their latest nanotech calculations, with Pepper following closely behind. 

“Hey, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, park it,” Natasha said. 

“Ah, Rushman, wonderful to see you as always,” Tony says, winking at Nat. She rolls her eyes in response, as Tony and Bruce give you a hug before sitting down and Pepper picks up your daughter.

“Come on sweetie, do you want to go play with Morgan?” Pepper asked.

“Yay!” Mila cheered as they walk down the hall to Morgan’s room.

“Okay, some quick do’s and dont’s for this weekend. No guns, no repulsor rays, no arrows, and no using our daughter as a beta test subject for any new experiments. When Thor gets here, no Asgardian beverages in front our child. Mila’s bedtime is 7 pm and she likes it if you do the characters' voices when you read her a bedtime story. Oh, and if she has trouble falling asleep, a lullaby usually does the trick. Got it?”

“Geez, this is almost as bad as Budapest,” Clint whispered to Kate.

“It’s going to be alright Natasha,” Wanda reassured. “We’re a family. You know we would do anything for that little girl. Please, go and enjoy your anniversary. No one deserves some special alone time more than you two”, Wanda says as she hands you a tin full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for the trip. 

You put your arm around Natasha and kiss her cheek. “Wanda is right, my love. Mila will be fine.” 

Just as you complete the sentence, Mila ran back into the room. “Mommy, Mama! Morgan has Puss and Boots: The Last Wish, and we’re going to watch it tonight before bedtime.” 

“That sounds like so much fun, sweetheart! I know you are going to be a good girl for your aunts and uncles and Mommy and Mama will see you on Sunday night, okay? We love you so much.” you said. 

“Okay, Mommy. I love you!” She said as she hugs you so tight. Natasha knelt to kiss your daughter on the cheek and squeezed her hand three times. Their special way of saying I love you. After one last hug and kiss, you walk to the Quinjet. Tony having offered one for easy and convenient travel. 

*^~^*

By the time you arrived at your hotel in Paris, it’s almost dinner time. After some sightseeing, you two enjoyed a gourmet candlelit dinner under the Parisian moon and a romantic stroll under the stars. When you got back to your room, you received a text message from Clint with a photo of your daughter asleep on her bed. Lovingly cuddled up under a blanket with Yelena. 

“See, she’s okay”, you said lovingly as Natasha smiles widely at the picture of her little girl and her little sister.

As you lay in bed that night, you feel more grateful than ever to be here with the love of your life. Both of you had learned firsthand to never take anything for granted.

You were one of the lost souls left behind after the Blip. Struggling with the loss of your loved ones, you began attending Steve’s Brooklyn Support Group once a week. It was after one of those meetings that you were first introduced to the Black Widow. 

Natasha hesitated at first to let anyone in. She was too scared to lose anyone else and was convinced that nothing should take away from her commitment to bring everyone back. However, she still found herself finding any excuse to attend Steve’s meetings. Whether that was to bring homemade peanut butter sandwiches for the snack table or shyly offering to give you a ride home. 

You weren’t a hero or a super soldier. You didn’t remind Natasha of the guilt she carried over the last five years as the fallout from the Blip continued. You were just yourself, and that was what Natasha loved the most about you. You began to visit her at the compound, and slowly but surely the walls came down for both of you. 

When she told you about the Time Heist, you didn’t want to hear it. You couldn’t comprehend the thought of losing Natasha, but you knew that she believed in her heart that she owed it to everyone they had lost to try. When Clint returned from Vormir alone and dropped to his knees, so did you. Grief overtaking you all over again.

As the Battle for Earth became inevitable, the team hid you in a safe house off the grid. Days went by and you lost track of time, stuck in your grief and unaware of what was happening. It wasn't until a knock on your door awoke you in the middle of the night that you dropped to your knees again. This time in shock at the sight of Natasha on your doorstep. Tears streaming down her face, she told you they had won. Tony defeated Thanos with the Snap, and Steve performed a miracle by bringing her back upon returning the Soul Stone to Vormir. 

So much life had happened since then. You were married in a beautiful autumnal ceremony shortly after Nat returned, bought your own house, and five years ago and twelve hours of labor later, you welcomed your daughter into the world that your wife sacrificed herself to save. You couldn’t believe how much you loved them both. Fading back into the present moment, you gently move a strand of Natasha’s unbraided red hair away from her face. Her hands move effortlessly to the nape of your neck, and you lose yourself in her touch.

*^~^*

It’s Saturday morning back at the compound, and Mila is eating blueberry pancakes when Clint strolled in from his morning workout. 

“Hey, squirt! Those pancakes look amazing. Did Auntie Wanda make those?” he asked, reaching for the extra plate of pancakes on the counter. 

Before Mila can even respond, the plate glides quickly away from him, enveloped in Wanda’s red magic. “Auntie Wanda did make those, but they’re only for adorable little girls named Mila. Is your name Mila?” Wanda said to Clint, with a raised eyebrow.

“No”, Clint grumbled.

“Then make your own breakfast, Hawkeye,” Wanda sighed, patting him on the back. 

After breakfast, Sam and Bucky take Mila outside to play. Meanwhile, Steve is in his room working on a mission report when FRIDAY interrupts his concentration. “Mr. Rogers, I’m picking up an elevated heat signature from your shield just north of your location.” Steve looked curiously out the window to see Mila giggling as she slid across the grass. She is sitting on his overturne shield pulled by a rope tied to the back of Red Wing. 

“My shield is not a toy!” Steve yelled out the window. 

“Oh, hey Cap! It does make a great sled, doesn’t it?” Bucky answered, pretending not to hear what his best friend said, as Sam laughs out loud. 

Steve shakes his head to hide his smile. You meant the world to him, having spent countless hours processing your grief together in that dark and dank recreation room in Brooklyn. He was honored when you and Natasha asked him to be Mila’s godfather. His shield was made from Vibranium, after all. If his goddaughter wanted to play with it, he knew no harm would be done. 

That afternoon, Peter arrived at the compound to work on his newest suit upgrade with Tony. Mila is engrossed in coloring at the kitchen table with Auntie Kate when Peter walks in to get a soda. 

“Hey Mila, what are you up to?”

“Coloring, do you want to help us?” Mila asked happily. 

Peter nodded, and for the next twenty minutes, they got lost in her Disney Princess coloring book. After adding pretty sparkles to Elsa’s Frozen dress, Mila noticed Peter’s Spider-Man suit sticking out of his bag. 

“Pretty!” Mila said with wide eyes.

“You like it?” Peter asked.

“Yes, is this how you fly? Mama says you can fly!” Mila declares. 

“Something like that” Peter chuckled and tousled her hair. 

Down in the lab, Tony had been waiting for Peter to arrive for a half an hour. Unusual, as his protege was normally annoyingly punctual. Running out of patience, Tony asks FRIDAY for Peter’s current location.

“Mr. Parker is in the kitchen with Ms. Bishop and the young Ms. Romanoff, sir.” Tony rolls his eyes as he trudged up the stairs.

“Hey Hawkette, have you seen Peter? He was supposed to — “

Tony stopped in his tracks as he sees Peter swinging from the ceiling with Mila on his back. Kate was too busy filming the entire spectacle on her phone to notice Tony standing there. 

“Wee!! Faster, Uncle Peter!” Mila shouted as Peter’s web carries them across the room to the top of the bookcase. 

Tony’s eyes follow the pair around the room. Putting on his best poker face, “Okay. I won’t tell Romanoff or her better half, but if you break it, you pay for it. That includes the kid.” Tony warned.

“Sure thing, Mr. Stark” Peter giving Tony a thumbs up. 

“And for God’s sake, at least put some pillows down on the floor!” Tony hollered as he walked back to his lab. 

*^~^*

In the city of love, you and Natasha took a Saturday evening cruise down the Seine River. It was magical. You had seen the Musée d’Orsay, the Notre Dame Cathedral and had just reached the top of the Eiffel Tower when your phone alerted you to an incoming FaceTime from Carol. You swiped, her face appearing on the screen.

“Hey, you two, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be on Earth-616 tomorrow for a meeting with Fury and thought I’d drop in on my favorite couple. Wait, where are you?” 

“Paris for our anniversary! Our first vacation alone in over five years. Can you believe it?” you said giddily, as Natasha puts her arms around your waist and lovingly kisses your cheek. 

“Wow, that’s wonderful! Where’s your little mini-me?” Carol asked.

“With the team, actually if you’re going there anyway could you just make sure that everything is good with Mila?” Natasha inquired. 

“Of course. You know you never have to ask.”

“Thank you, Carol”, you gratefully respond. We’ll be back tomorrow evening, so I’m sure we’ll see you then.” Carol gave you a mock salute, before you ended the call and put your phone back in your coat pocket. 

“You look so beautiful, dorogaya. After all this time, I still can't believe you’re mine.” Nat waxed poetically, as she removed her scarf and wrapped it around your neck. Natasha could not look more beautiful in the glow of the Eiffel Tower. You decided this is the perfect moment to give her your anniversary gift. You slowly hand her the red velvet box you had snuck into your satchel. Her green eyes went wide at the sight of it.

“Detka! We said no gifts this year, this trip is gift enough.” Nat facetiously scolded.

“I know, but I still wanted to do something special for you,” you said sheepishly. 

Natasha opens the box to reveal a simple and delicate gold heart locket necklace. Upon opening the pendant, she is greeted by a candid photo of all three of you. One that Clint had taken during your last visit with his family in Iowa. Nat was sitting on Clint’s front porch with a smiling Mila on her lap. You are leaning behind her with your arms wrapped lovingly around her neck. It had quickly become one of your favorite photos of your small, yet precious family. 

“This is so beautiful, Moya Lyubov. Can you put it on me?”

You move Natasha’s braid away from her neck and clasped the necklace in the back. The heart locket fell directly on top of her own heart. It looked perfect on her. You're not sure who leaned in first, but your lips met in a kiss that made your stomach flutter like it was the first time. You couldn’t be happier than you were in this moment. 

*^~^*

The Sunday morning sun is slowly breaking through the compound windows. Yelena was pouring your daughter a bowl of Cheerios and singing along to the sound of American Pie coming from her phone when The God of Thunder made his entrance through the Bifrost. Mila jumped and started to hide behind her Auntie Yelena, but ran toward him when she realized it’s only her Uncle Thor materializing in front of them, leaving his trademark on Pepper’s Persian rug. 

“Must you do that every time? You’re becoming more of a poser than my sister.” Yelena remarked. 

“Of course,” Thor said nonchalantly. “It is the only entrance fit for the God of Thunder.”

He reachesd down and lifts Mila up with one arm, “Odin’s Beard! You’ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you, Mila.” Thor declared

“I know! Did you bring me a present Uncle Thor?” Mila squealed. 

“Yes! Now, let’s see here… Asgardian Ale, Mead, no… ah, here it is!” He handed the little girl a small snow globe set in gold with her name engraved elegantly on the base.

“Wow. Pretty snow globe….” Mila whispered. 

“It is indeed”, Thor said, sat cross-legged on the carpet in front of the little girl. “This is a special Asgardian snow globe. Look, see the rainbow bridge inside it?” He pointed. “Most importantly Lady Mila, if you shake it, I shall be there in a flash. If ever you need me, I will be there.”

“Thank you, Uncle Thor!”, Mila said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. I’m going to show it to my Teddy Bear!” Running to her bedroom. 

“You spoil her, you know”, Yelena stated with a smirk, as she began to clean up the kitchen. 

“I know, but she is such a grand example of goodness and joy in such a tiny human. She deserves the world.” Thor declared.

Carol arrives shortly after lunch. After a short meeting with Fury in the conference room regarding upcoming mission targets, she finds your daughter in the compound courtyard. She is wearing her vest to match her favorite auntie, as Yelena demonstrates the newest tricks Fanny has learned.

“Roll over! Good girl, Fanny!” Yelena praised the dog. Mila takes a treat out of one of her vest pockets with her tiny hand and tosses it to the Akita.

“Well done, Mila! Before you go home tonight, I will show you what else you can hide inside those pockets,” winking at her niece. 

“Fruits and veggies right, Yelena?” Carol deadpanned as Mila runs over and jumps into Captain Marvel’s arms. 

“Auntie Carol! When did you get here?” Your daughter giggled. 

“Just a little bit ago. I talked to your Mommy and Mama last night. They miss you so much and can’t wait to see you when they get home tonight.” Carol shared before kissing your daughter on the cheek. 

*^~^*

The sun was setting on your third day in Paris. You and Natasha spent the afternoon exploring the mysteries of the Louvre. You had always wanted to see the Mona Lisa in person, and Natasha was determined to make it happen. Even if it meant pushing through a crowd of tourists who got out of the way quickly when they realized the Black Widow was the one asking them to kindly move the fuck over.

You made the short walk back to your hotel and are enjoying a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries when Natasha’s phone dinged. 

Carol: Hey lovebirds, all good here. Mila is doing great and is so excited to see you when you get back. However, I have a feeling you may want to check her vest pockets when you get home for some “special” presents courtesy of Auntie Yelena. 😘

Natasha giggled, showing you the text. 

“The important thing is that they’re bonding,” placing a delicate kiss on her temple. 

Following Wanda’s scrumptious dinner of Chicken Paprikash, your daughter was watching Frozen II. Vision attempted to explain the science behind snowflakes to her when Tony strolled into the lounge.

“Hey, kiddo do you want to come down to the lab with me and see the new suit modifications the Jolly Green Giant and I are working on?”

“Yay!” Mila said excitedly, jumping up and down.

“Sir, I believe Ms. Romanoff indicated there was to be no experimenting with young Ms. Mila whilst she is in our care.”

“Relax, chrome dome. We’re just looking at the new holographic mockup.” Picking up Mila and carried her to his lab. 

*^~^*

A few hours later, Natasha landed the Quinjet and takes a deep breath as she reached across the console for your hand. You both stare out at the lights of the team living quarters in the distance. 

“This has been a wonderful anniversary. I love you so much,” you said. “I know it was tough for you to leave Mila for three days, but not only did we have a beautiful anniversary, but our daughter got to spend meaningful time with her family that she will always remember.” You pressed a kiss to her knuckles as Natasha caresses your cheek. 

“You were right, dorogaya. This was perfect. I’m sorry I was so nervous about leaving her. I just… never thought I would have my happily ever after. That little girl and you are my everything. It breaks my heart every time I leave either one of you.”

“I know, my love”, you said quietly. Now, let’s go get our daughter and go home.”

You walked into the compound to shouting and the sound of Fanny and Lucky barking. Natasha was about to reach for her spare Widow Bites when you both heard your daughter laughing.

The two of you entered the common room to the sight of your daughter running through the compound. She was dressed in her pajamas and one of Tony’s Iron Man helmets; a can of whipped cream in her little hands. Yelena and the rest of the team are hot on her heels; puffs of whipped cream flew behind her. 

Kate skidded to a stop in front of both of you. “Oh, you guys are back. Awesome! Umm, we made ice cream sundaes for dessert. Mila enjoyed hers, as you can see”, Kate motioned, breathing heavily.

Mila took her last lap around the couch when she caught sight of you and Natasha. 

“Mommy, Mama! You’re here!!” she squealed, running into Natasha’s arms. 

“Hi, Moya Lyubov, we missed you so much!!” Natasha said as she wraps Mila in a big hug before passing her to you to do the same. 

“It looks like you had fun with your aunts and uncles this weekend,” removing the helmet and brush a red curl away from her eyes. 

“I had so much fun, Mommy! I got to eat yummy food, ride a sled, fly, and Auntie Yelena helped me hide special treasures in my vest pockets. Oh, and I got a magic snow globe with my name on it!” Your daughter rambled happily. 

Natasha looked at you slightly skeptical, wondering if your sweet little girl was exaggerating. With your family, you were never quite sure. 

“Wow, that sounds amazing, kotyonok!” Are you ready to go home now?” Nat asked as Mila gives you her best puppy dog eyes. 

“It’s okay sweetheart, we’ll come back and see everyone next weekend. Why don’t you go get your Teddy bear?” you suggested.

“I’ll help her with her things,” Yelena said, scooping up your daughter and walking to her bedroom. 

“We can’t thank all of you enough for taking such good care of her. I know she would stay here forever if we let her.” You said as you move through the group hugging every one. 

She is always welcome here, you two know that.” Wanda said, confident she was speaking for the entire team. 

A few minutes later, Mila reappeared with her unicorn backpack and Yelena in tow carrying a couple more bags than what you dropped her off with. You shake your head, knowing full well that the team spoiled her with gifts. Natasha squatted down to Mila’s level and puts her hand lovingly on her back. “Can you say goodbye and thank you to all of your aunts and uncles, dorogaya?” she asked. Mila walked around the room and hugged everyone. It warms Natasha’s heart to see her family embrace your daughter with so much love and affection. 

Mila fell asleep five minutes after you put her in her car seat. When you arrived home, Natasha carried her to her bed. She carefully set Mila down and pulled up the covers. You both place a gentle kiss on her forehead and quietly tiptoe out of her room. You make your way to your bedroom, deciding to leave the unpacking for the morning, both too jet lagged. Natasha sat up in bed reading with her glasses sliding adorably down her nose when you turned off the bathroom light and crawled into bed beside her. 

“I couldn’t have asked for a more romantic anniversary, my love” you admitted as you carefully removed her glasses from her face and gently kiss her lips. “But there is nowhere I would rather be than at home with you and our beautiful daughter.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Returning the kiss. 

As Natasha starts to fall asleep, she can’t help but recall the journey that brought her here. She used to have nothing. Indoctrinated into Red Room with no free-will. A ledger soaked with blood that she wanted more than anything to wipe clean. Then came the shot Clint didn’t take, the chance that Fury did, the found family that ultimately led her to you, and the miracle that is your daughter. Her family would always be there for her, and you and Mila were happy, healthy, and safe. She was better because of it. At last, Natasha Romanoff was at peace.

[shesnotaposer]

𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 || 𝐧. 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟

pairing: natasha romanoff x female reader

warning: minors dni (it's not like i can stop you. but keep in mind that you're responsible for your media consumption so be responsible), smut, roles; dom!natasha & brattysub!reader, semi-public sex, curse words, teasing, kinks; mommy kink | very slight praise kink | very slight degradation kink | choking kink | hair pulling, rough, large age gap; natasha is 37 and reader is 22

summary: you haven't seen natasha in a week. after being forbidden to relieve yourself during her time away, you refuse to give her the satisfaction of doing what she wants with you without a little show

a/n: NOBODY REMEMBERS ME, I KNOW. but who 9 months later, i'm back! i got pregnant and had to give birth. it was hard, it hurts, except it doesn't because i'm playing. but anyways, i've missed everyone, i'm going to write a lot of angst after this because why not

tony likes to throw parties. he used to throw extravagant monthly parties in the compound until the security of the place failed him, and the compound was infiltrated by a minor agency under hydra. ironic, isn't it? you'd think the avengers would have the best security in the world, especially with the literal owner of stark industries being your leader, but nope. when you live in a giant building full of superheroes, you forget you even need security. or that you need a strong one.

so instead of extravagant monthly parties (that the entire team against after the whole infiltration thing), tony now throws an "avenger weekend out" every month where he arranges something for the avengers to do together.

just 2 months ago, he booked the entire team a trip to dubai that you didn't really get to see much of. you and your girlfriend were quick to disappear into your hotel room and you didn't come out until the weekend was over. and by then you were limping.

this time, it's a trip to vegas.

he booked a fancy restaurant for the whole team. he gave tonight a little twist by sending stylists to everyone's rooms so everyone can look their best (the entire team knows that he only did that to stop bucky from wearing a t-shirt to fancy places but who is anyone to complain).

after a long time of trying to pick an outfit—which you had racks and racks of in your room courtesy of tony and his money—you've finally settled on a beautiful black silk dress with your cleavage propped up and exposed, you hair in an updo, and your body in the arms of someone who is not your girlfriend.

you had just arrived—fashionably late as always, and then you saw natasha. you knew she was coming. she was on a mission and had to come separately, dropping by at the compound first when you had already left.

she was gone for a week. and the entire time, you had been nothing but a good girl. you didn't touch yourself. you didn't send her a naughty picture. you didn't look at porn. because no matter how much you begged her to let you, she wouldn't. she knew how frustrated you are. but you don't want to give her the satisfaction of just doing everything she wants with you when she didn't let you do what you want. at least, not yet. you like your little games and your little shows.

so when a flare of jealousy swirls within her green eyes after you'd entered in the arms of wanda maximoff, making sure to greet everyone with a kiss on the cheek as the men especially welcomed you standing up, you knew she doesn't know your play. you sat across from her, not beside, and you can feel everyone's eyes wander from you and onto the empty spot next to natasha.

you only ever took it as far as sending her a naughty picture during a meeting. or calling her, moaning through the phone, when you know she's with the team. you never walked in the arms of someone else, or denied her of at least sitting close to you. not until now.

"if you're gonna be fashionably late, then might as well look like y/n, sam." tony quips, breaking off the awkward moment of when you met her eyes as you set your little purse on wanda's lap.

tony started the evening off by coming after cap. steve of course answered him all defensively and that started a whole thing between them. peter was annoying bucky, and sam was there laughing. pietro is nodding along something vision is saying. and thor is just asking for more beer. clint and bruce are having an awkward conversation—they're trying. they're not the closest, but they're trying. when you and nat are having a thing (that clint can always tell when you are), and tony is busy calling out everyone, clint and bruce are left trying to find something to talk about. and right now, they've settled on the temperature of their steaks.

you, on the other hand, spent the entire evening staring directly at the woman in front of you. she never took her eyes off of you either. she followed your eyes even as it glances over tony, or looks a second too long at wanda's.

you were in wanda's arms looking at natasha the entire time. you were looking at her while you laugh at a joke wanda told you, you were looking at her when your head falls on wanda's shoulder for a second, you were looking at her as you whisper something in wanda's ear.

you didn't think that the "anger makes you turn red" was a real thing—it's easier to think it makes you turn green—until you saw natasha's face, all red, the veins in her neck were popping out, and her lips were trembling with her jaw clenched. you know nobody noticed besides you. nobody in this world can memorize her skin tone enough to see when it changes. to everyone, the glare that was sharp enough to cut through you was just how she normally looks. if anything, she's merely staring at you. but you can see through her. you've memorized her features, her face, her, so expertly that you can tell even the smallest micro changes in her expression. and right now, she's angry.

so you take that as your leave.

you let her cool off.

you stood up, you looked over at wanda and smiled at the way her hands trailed down your back, asking if you needed her to accompany you to which you shook your head.

you walked with confidence, with ease, fully knowing that you'd be getting what you want when you get home. you pushed through the door of the restroom, the marble tiled, rough lighted room that someone suddenly grabbed you in by the elbow to.

you immediately knew who it was by her scent alone. she passed through you at the door and quickly grabbed you before you could even do anything.

"natasha, what—"

she kissed you. she put an arm on your back and she pulled your body until you're pressed against her with no space left to breath. and then she kissed you. she kissed you aggressively. she kissed you until you had no choice but to surrender the very little power you had over her.

the hand that's been holding the door the entire time found the back of your head. she pulled you up and pushed your back hard against the wall and she kissed you harder. you didn't like losing. so you kissed her with as much aggression, as much strength, if not more, as she did you.

your hands travelled up to her hair. you didn't care if it was styled to perfection. you intertwined your fingers with her red locks, and you twisted your legs around her body so you can pull her impossibly closer.

your kiss became passionate. but she still kissed you with the power she knows she has over you, and you kissed her with the resistance you know only you can give her.

you were resisting her advances. you were moving your head so she can't fully do what she wants, so she can't kiss you the way she wants to and only the way you want to.

her hand went to hold your jaw. she held you in place, she pushed a tongue in between your lips which you were quick to resist by pulling away. she wasn't enjoying it. her jaw was clenched, and her eyes were narrowed by almost an unnoticeable bit.

you smiled.

you smiled in the way that irritated her most. "i think, you need to start being patient." you said, grabbing her by the wrist. her eyes never left yours as you pulled her hand down from your jaw to slowly, gently, lightly trail the center of your body.

you lifted your chin to what the wall behind you allowed when her hand reached the gap between your covered breasts. and when it reached your stomach, you made sure to roll your eyes in the way that you knew made her crazy. and then you pushed your hands between your two bodies so it reaches your wet core. you didn't let her touch. you felt her fingers extend in an attempt to reach it, but you held it far enough so she can only feel how warm you were without feeling you.

you made sure not to look at her. you closed your eyes, and you let your chest rise, and your mouth open slightly. it was as if you were playing with a sex toy. like you were holding a vibrator and teasing yourself with it.

the very little power you had over her, is from the obsession she has with you, with your body, with your entirety. and she knew it damn well. but she couldn't do anything about it. because it was the way your back arched when you finally let her touch, controlling how long it stays, or how hard she pressed, that keeps her going. it riles her up.

you made her fall into an obsession she can never get out of. she was addicted to you.

that show that you play for her, it intoxicates her. it pulls her. it lets her see how much power she has to take back. how much control she has to force back from you. she likes the chase. the games. she likes knowing that after your little episode, she'll get to do whatever she wants, and frankly, you like that too.

so when you let her fingers press a little harder on your swollen bud, and you moaned, she flipped you. she flipped you so quickly that you didn't realize your front was against the wall until she carried you by the stomach and bent you over the sink.

she finally had all the freedom in the world to touch the pussy she was so wrongfully denied of. she made you spread your legs. and then her fingers danced on your core. she pressed on every part of you until you were grinding on her. "natasha, don't—" you breathed, "don't tease me." you were trying to stay in control. to tell her what to do. but she wasn't having it. you had you time, your fun.

you gasped when she cupped your sex with her palm. she lowered her body, and pressed it hard against your own. her other hand tucks a portion of your hair behind your ear so it's not covering your eyes.

"i think, you need to learn to be patient, dear." she whispers against your ear.

you felt her weight. and her warmth, and somehow, with the very little reason left in your body, you remembered the door. you couldn't move. the weight of her body held you in place. but you forced your hand to find the back of her head. you resisted the moans. you resisted the uncontrollable urge to grind against her arm by forcing yourself still.

"nat, the door." you whispered. "we can't do this here."

suddenly, she was rubbing your pussy. with the entirety of her palm. she was rubbing your swollen nub, and your hole, and everything that her palm covered. your mouth dropped wide open to let out the most animalistic moan you had absolutely no control of. and then she pulls your hair back so your ear is right where her lips were at.

"you should've thought about that before your little stunt back there, don't you think?" she growls. you could feel the tears forming in your eyes as your inhibitions slowly faded away.

the door. anybody can walk in on you at any moment. they will see you being fucked on top of the counter. they're going to see what slut this avenger is. but you can't stop grinding on her hand. the mere thought of someone seeing you being fucked out makes you grind even harder until her palm leaves your clothed pussy, and lands hard on your covered ass.

"mommy doesn't like naughty girls. you know that, right?" she slaps you again. and then again. and then again.

that had more tears running down your face. you hadn't realize that she wasn't on top of you anymore until she pulls your hair back even further so you can see yourself in the mirror.

you left the hotel with the reddest lipstick that's now smudged all over your lower face, and such an evenly drawn eyeliner that's now running down your cheeks. your hair that's been put up into an elegant updo, is now undone and held in a handful in natasha's hands. and you, moaning and panting and crying and grinding against her for every slap she lands on your now bare ass, look like a pathetic whore.

"didn't i tell you to be patient?"

natasha pushed herself against you, pressing down on your body while pulling your hair as far as your body allowed. you can see her on the mirror, you can feel her bulge against your cunt. and you couldn't help but grind against her dress, fully knowing the juices you'll be leaving on it, but frankly you couldn't care less.

her hair is messily falling over her shoulder now. and her lipstick is smudged against her chin. you loved the strands of hair that hung over the side of her head. and the way her head tilts in pride as she watches you writhing under her, chasing a high from the very little friction you get from grinding against her.

"please, i just need you to fuck me..." you cried. "please, nat..."

her eyebrows pinch almost in insincere pity. "now, is that a way to talk to your mommy?"

"mommy, please..."

she made you sit on the counter, never letting go of the grip she had on your hair. you were panting. and huffing. you were like a puppy in heat as you face her with legs all spread out on top of the restroom sink. you presented her with the cunt that only she gets to touch. the pussy that she's claimed.

her eyes softened for a moment when she comes as close as the counter gave her the space to. her other hand falls on your waist, while the other tugs at your hair so your faces are just an inch apart. she looked concerned, she looked like she was about to give into what you want. but then she doesn't.

"do you really think bad girls deserve mommy's dick?" she says, and suddenly her hand's on your neck, while the other finally makes contact with your cunt, pushing your lace underwear to the side. "should i really fuck you?"

your hips grinded harder against her fingers especially when she slammed two fingers into you. "god, yes mommy. please fuck me."

her grip on your neck tightens and she pushes you harder so your head hits the mirrors. "after your little stunt? flirting with wanda?" she didn't sound as taunting as you knew she wanted to sound like. instead, she sounded angry. and with the way she's restricting your airways, and the way she's slamming unforgivingly against your pussy, you knew she was angry.

"'m sorry mommy. will never happen again." that's a lie. it will happen again. but you need her. you need her. her fingers aren't enough. you wanted her to stretch you out. you wanted to feel her against every part of your pussy.

"right..." she says. "who do you belong to, sweetheart?" her grip tightens even more when she adds another finger and your hips jolts up as your eyes roll impossibly further back into your head. you were screaming her name. chanting it over and over again until her grip tightens even more. "quickly, sweetheart. i can hear someone coming."

you couldn't breath. your hand takes grasp of her wrist, but it wasn't to stop her hand from gripping your neck. you couldn't care less about air when she just added the last of her four fingers while her thumb circles your clit. you were chasing your high. you wanted this so badly. the way she was reaching spots, rubbing against parts you didn't even know existed. you were losing your mind. you couldn't breath, you couldn't think. your mind was blank, and it might be that you're about to pass out that you start seeing stars, but if you were to die right at this very moment, you're happy to have this as your last memory.

"who do you belong to?"

you grinded even harder, your hips were writhing against the fingers that only increased in pace. you were hazy. you were a moaning mess. and right at the very last second when you can feel yourself slipping away in pure ecstasy and an incredibly limited amount of air, you were able to mutter, "you..."

and then she lets you go right at the very second you exploded in her fingers. her hand was no longer on your neck, it was pressing on your chest just below your collarbone as she lets you ride out your high. your moans. her name. your cries. it was all music to her ears.

your consciousness came back, all along with your reason, and reality itself. you opened your eyes, panting. that might have just been one of the greatest sex you had in your entire life. you had a smile on your face as did natasha as she licked all your juices off her fingers.

her features softened as she caresses your face in her hands, pulling you closer, gently, softly, so you can stare into her eyes. "my good girl did so well for me." she whispers, giving you a peck on the nose. "mommy's gonna give you what you want later because you've done so well for me."

you knew she was jealous. your stunt made her jealous. you could see it in the way the end of her lip twitched. or through the darkness in her eyes.

you put your hands over hers. "i love you..." you whisper. "i belong to you. and you only."

that made her smile. she carried you off the sink and then she grabs a few tissue papers to soak in water and clean off your make up. she made sure to leave out your smudged lipstick. she left off the red tint on your lower face. and when you were about to fix it for yourself, she tuts. "don't. that should send a message that you're off limits, yeah?"

she didn't do anything to fix herself. your hairs were a mess, your dresses were wrinkled. but neither of you cared. you knew you wouldn't be staying any more than 5 minutes in this restaurant now.

she took your hand and let her fingers intertwined with yours as you both walked through the door. you were quickly met by the sight of a line of women with wanda on it's head. you couldn't even say anything. all you can do was hide behind natasha.

"next time, just go home." wanda says.

[fixfoxnox]

I would now like to formally request ceo ghost and soap attempting to get Roach’s attention at a corporate camping trip and failing miserably so much so that Roach’s kid sits the two adults down and goes “if you love my daddy just tell him and stop being wimps” as a drabble ok love u🥰🥰

YES MY GUILTY PLEASURE AU

Also

You: as a drabble

Me: 8,000+ words coming right up

Mini Bug (1)

Description: A weekend retreat for the company seems like the perfect time for Ghost and Soap to try to impress Roach. Unfortunately for them, the Mini Bug (Lilian Sanderson: Roach's daughter), is frightfully observant and see's right through them.

Pairings: Established SoapGhost, GhostRoachSoap

Warnings: Brief Angst (THE NARRATIVE MADE ME DO IT)

Notes: Trans! Roach (he birthed the child). Lily refers to him as "mom/mommy"

"Okay," Roach pushed his way into the roomy office, earning the attention of the two men inside. He was quick to hand each of them a small identical file folder, "That's the information on Shadow Corp. and the deal they want to make. Just sent over this morning."

He watched quietly as both of the men tilted over the front of the file folder, flipping through the pages. Soap was moving quickly, his eyes scanning everything with large sweeps. Ghost was reading slower, carefully scanning over each page.

"And?" Ghost asked lowly, "What do you think?"

"Honestly," Roach shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, "I wouldn't trust these guys as far as I can throw them. The deal seems set up perfect for them to eventually pull out and leave us with nothing. It's a trust exercise that I wouldn't participate in, no matter how much they offer."

"And their CEO?" Soap looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, "What do we think of this Graves character?"

"Philip Graves," Roach sighed deeply, "Southern accent, smug grin, looked like he dumped an entire thing of hair gell on his head before he got here." He shook his head slowly, "Miranda at the front desk said that he called her toots about six times during their two-minute conversation and when he got up here he seemed disappointed that I wasn't a hot woman in a pencil skirt."

Ghost gave a snort at his words and immediately closed the file folder. "Right, so that's a no then." Soap followed his lead and Roach gathered the folders back up from the men.

"I'll draw up an email," Roach nodded to the two, but hesitated for a moment. "Um, really quick, I was hoping I might talk to the two of you about the retreat this weekend?"

The two men turned to him, Ghost with a raised eyebrow and Soap with a bright grin. "Sure, Bug, everything alright with it?"

Roach took a moment to snap himself out of the slight haze that Soap calling him "bug" had left over his mind. He had to snap himself out of it. These were his bosses, his bosses who were married to one another. He had to get over himself. "I, well," he gave a deep sigh, "I'm not sure that I'm going to be able to come."

"What?" Soap's face fell and he and Ghost shared a quick glance with one another.

"Is something wrong?" Ghost asked carefully, "If it's about the rooms, Soap and I were talking and we could-"

"No," Roach interrupted with a shake of his head, shuffling nervously in place for a moment before explaining, "It's Lils. I had everything planned for someone to watch her this weekend, but her usual sitter broke her leg a few days ago and has to have surgery on it." He turned his gaze away from Soap and Ghost, his face tinting pink, "I've tried to find someone else to watch her, but no one else is going to be available on such short notice."

There was a moment of quiet that passed through the room before Ghost spoke simply, "Bring Lily on the retreat."

Roach looked up at him, his eyes wide at the suggestion. "But," he shook his head, "It's a work trip?"

"It's a glorified camping trip," Soap sent a look that Roach couldn't decipher toward his husband. "We aren't doing anything that a kid couldn't do, and besides, Lily likes camping doesn't she?"

"Well, yes," Roach shuffled a bit, still unsure about the idea, "But what about sleeping? I was supposed to share a room with someone, but I doubt anyone would be okay with me and Lily."

"Stay in the cabin with us," Soap sounded almost nervous and the words made Roach's eyes widen. Share a cabin with his married bosses who he was also crushing on? With his daughter there as well?

"We have an entire cabin to ourselves," Ghost rushed to explain, "Perks of being married I suppose. Point is, we have plenty of extra room."

Roach blinked at them both for several moments, absolutely dumbfounded by the turn that things had taken. He'd expected to be forced to miss the retreat, not for his bosses to invite him to bring his daughter along. They were right though, Lily loved camping and there wasn't anything inappropriate that would be happening. It just might be a little odd for others to have a little girl joining them for trust exercises.

"Are you sure?" He asked after a moment, "I really don't want to inconvenience anyone."

Ghost was quick to wave him off, "It isn't an inconvenience, Bug."

"Besides," Soap gave him another smile, "We both adore Lily, you know that. We certainly won't mind having her around."

Roach felt a sense of fondness and affection curling at him with those words. It was true, his bosses did seem to adore his daughter. They'd been more than helpful for him since they'd learned about her existence. Hell, her birthday that year had been the best she'd ever had thanks to the two men spoiling her. Soap and Ghost certainly got along with his daughter.

"Alright," he finally gave in with a hesitant smile, pulling an excited grin from Soap and a quirk of the lips from Ghost. "Thank you guys, really." He held up the manila folder again with a low chuckle, "I'd better get to work on these." He started to the door, intent on heading out to his little desk, only to pause in the doorway and turn with sharp glaring eyes to the two men behind him, "Oh, also get your lunch order in early today! I am absolutely not going back out five times just because you two were indecisive."

With that he turned and marched out of the office, hearing Soap and Ghost's amused chuckles following after him.

"Do you think that we'll see any snakes?"

Roach looked through his rearview mirror, smiling at his daughter in the back seat. She was peering out the window excitedly, watching the trees and water that they were passing. Roach had already been forced to remind her several times not to twist in her seat to try and get a better look. The only thing that had finally gotten her to settle down was the reminder that they would have plenty of time to look at everything when they arrived. "I don't know," he answered, "Do you want to see a snake?"

His daughter nodded her head rapidly, "Yeah! I bet it would make Suds scream!" She giggled to herself.

Roach shook his head at her, though an amused smile remained on his lips, "Soap," he emphasized his boss's name, "would certainly not like it if we found a snake. But if we do, we'll be good, won't we? No trying to pick it up."

His daughter whipped around to face him with a pout, "But-!"

"No buts, Lillian," Roach reminded, "Until you can properly identify the poisonous snakes on your own, no just grabbing."

"But I've almost got it," she complained. "See it's red on yellow, that's a good fellow, red on black, your dead jack!" She paused for a moment before muttering, "Or is it red on black, that's good for Jack, red on yellow, you're a dead fellow?"

"And that," Roach reminded playfully, "Is why we won't be picking up any snakes."

A fond smile pulled at his face as she crossed her arms with a huff, her brows wrinkled in a way that had Roach's heart-tugging in his chest. It was a familiar look to him. He tried to shake the feeling off as they finally pulled down the road towards the cabins. Luckily the change in scenery seemed to be enough to lift Lily's spirits again and soon she was peering out the window with a bright grin on her face.

"Mommy, I see Suds and Ghost!" She bounced in her seat excitedly, "Hurry! I want to show them my new shirt!

"Alright, alright," Roach pulled his car into one of the available spaces, a chuckle pulling from his throat. He kept the door locked, even as Lily tugged on it, "Remember the rules?" She didn't answer at first, so he waited patiently for several moments before, "Lillian, the rules?"

"Yes!" She turned to him with a pleading look, "I remember! Please!"

With those words he finally unlocked the door, allowing her to quickly push her way out of the vehicle and scramble to where Soap and Ghost were making their way toward them. Roach followed after her, lifting himself out of the vehicle and closing the door behind him. Rather than making his way toward Soap and Ghost, though, he just watched. It was a sight to see his bosses crouching down to the ground to greet his daughter with a hug and kind smiles. Lily was quick to begin excitedly talking to the two, her hands moving a mile a minute as she motioned around her to everything. Soap and Ghost were patient, listening to her with soft smiles on their faces and that adoration that he knew the two held for her in their eyes. For a moment, if he didn't know any better, he could almost imagine that the two men were Lily's fathers. He was quick to brush the thought off and move around to the back of his car to begin getting bags.

He had to keep his head on straight, but it had been getting harder and harder to do that lately. With all the time that he'd been spending around his bosses, his little crush on the two men had grown from a "little crush" to a "large all-consuming, bordering on something more crush." It was embarrassing for him. The two men were married to one another, he certainly had no chance with either of them. And yet, as he would watch them with Lily, as he would take lunches with them, as he spent more and more time with them and felt that familiar tugging at his chest, he knew that he would continue to want. He just couldn't help himself.

He already had all of the bags unloaded from the back when Soap and Ghost approached him, Lily walking between the two with her hands clasped in theirs. "Need any help with anything?" Ghost didn't even wait for a response before stepping forward to begin gathering bags in his arms. Roach noticed immediately the way that he grabbed for the biggest and heaviest-looking ones.

"It's fine," Roach chuckled, "We're only here for the weekend, we don't have much." Ghost still slung some of the bags over his shoulders, a small smile sent Roach's way as he did.

"You two will like the cabin," Soap chimed in, tugging playfully at Lily as he did, "Right on the lake."

Lily gasped in delight, "Can we swim?"

"If your mom is okay with it," Soap answered back, a wink sent in Roach's direction. "But, even if you don't swim, there's a big tub on the second floor that you can use as a pool. How's that sound?"

"Second floor?" Roach looked between Soap and Ghost with wide eyes, "How big is this cabin?"

Ghost chuckled at his shocked look, one of his hands landing on the small of his back to begin guiding him forward, "Big enough." He leaned forward to whisper to Roach, "Let us treat our favorite secretary a bit, yeah?"

A shiver went down Roach's spine at the low rumbling words. He did his best to push past it and only responded with a grumbled out, "I'm your only secretary."

He allowed himself to be led down the cracked sidewalk in front of several of the cabins, he and Ghost following closely behind Soap and Lily. Lily was still chatting animatedly, talking excitedly about how excited she was about everything for the weekend. She'd only just started telling Soap and Ghost about the last camping trip they'd been on, one they'd attended with his family on a trip back home when they finally turned to start walking up toward the front door of the largest cabin on the strip. Unlike the other cabins, this one was two stories tall and had a wrap-around porch that appeared to surround the entire building.

When they finally stepped inside the building, he was sure that his eyes were the size of saucers. The cabin was even larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside. The entire living room of the cabin alone was probably about half of the size of his and Lily's apartment. "This…is really big." He paused in the center of the living room, turning in his spot to look at everything around him. He could hear Lily running around behind him, oohing and ahhing at everything in the room. "You guys rented this for the weekend?"

He turned his attention to Ghost and Soap with a raised eyebrow. He was met with a grin from Soap, "Nope." He paused for a moment before shrugging, "We just bought it."

Roach blinked at them for several moments, unsure how to respond to the words. After several moments he finally settled on a grumbled, "Rich people," before turning toward where his daughter was running around the room. "Lily! No running inside, remember?"

She immediately turned toward him, Ghost, and Soap with a big grin on her face, "Mommy, this place is so cool!" She rushed past him to wrap Ghost's leg in a hug before switching to do the same to Soap's leg, "Thank you, Mr. Ghost! Thank you Mr. Suds!"

Roach huffed and shook his head fondly, it seemed his daughter would never lose the silly nickname for Soap. Not that the man seemed to mind, a bright smile slipping across his face as he accepted her hug. "Course, kiddo." He looked up to meet Roach's gaze and shot him a wink, "We want you and your mom to have the best time you can this weekend. You wanna see your room?" Lily pulled away from him quickly after that, nodding her head rapidly up at him. "C'mon then, I'll take you up to your room and Ghost can take your mom up to his room."

Roach didn't have time to say anything before Ghost's hand was back on the small of his back and he was being slowly guided toward one of the side hallways as Lily was rushing up the stairs, Soap following after her. Roach waited until he knew that they were far enough away before whispering to Ghost, "You guys didn't have to give us separate rooms, you've already done too much."

Ghost shook his head, "We've got plenty of rooms in the cabin." He opened one of the doors closer to the end of the hall, allowing Roach to step into the large room first before he followed after him, depositing his bags by the door. "What do you think? If you want something else there are a few other ones but," He walked over to the window at the back of the room and pulled the curtains open, revealing a view of the lake behind the house, "Soap and I thought you might like the view."

Roach resisted the urge to gape as he stepped up to the window, stopping beside Ghost to look over the expanse of water that sat just outside of his room. "This is…perfect." He turned toward Ghost with wide eyes, "I seriously can't thank you and Soap enough for this. I mean letting me bring Lily is one thing, but the rooms and letting us stay with you guys? I really don't know what to say."

Ghost stepped a bit closer to him, the two almost pressed chest to chest with their proximity. Roach flushed a bit. "Soap and I wanted to do this," Ghost lifted a hand and hesitantly brushed a piece of hair from Roach's face, "You don't have to thank us for taking care of you. You don't have to thank us for doing something that we enjoy." There was a long pause and Roach, for a brief moment, was sure that Ghost had looked down to his lips. He brushed the thought off when Ghost stepped back a moment later, his own face a bit pink. He cleared his throat, "Anyway, I'll let you get settled. Soap and I are sleeping in the room next door, if you need anything. And," he cleared his throat again, "Company dinner to start the retreat tonight. Which I," he shook his head at himself, "imagine that you would know since you created the itinerary."

Roach couldn't help the chuckle that pulled from his throat at the words. He gave another grin to Ghost as the man waved to him and left the room. His eyes turned back toward the window, taking in the view in front of him again. It was breathtaking.

"Stand right next to me, okay?" Roach grabbed tight to Lily's hand, making sure that she wouldn't try to run off toward the water. He wasn't too worried about her getting in, after all, she was in her swimsuit and floaties already. He also knew how strong of a swimmer she was already. Still, this was a company retreat and their group hadn't gathered down at the water just so that his daughter could go swim. No, they'd gathered down at the water to participate in a…rather extreme trust exercise. Really it wasn't anything bad, just certainly more than what most other companies would do for a trust exercise.

"Alright," Soap clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. He was in his own swimming gear and Roach had to try to keep his eyes from tracing over the man's bare chest. It was hard to do. It was even harder when a similarly bare-chested Ghost stepped silently up next to him. Roach knew that both of the men were much stronger than they looked. He knew that at least Ghost was ex-military. But knowing and seeing were two very different things. "Today we're going to do a fun little obstacle course! Our goal is to learn to trust those around us, we want to know that the person next to us has our back and can be relied on during important times." He turned and motioned to the large inflatable water obstacle courses that they'd rented for the exercise. "We'll split off into groups of four. Everyone will be timed and everyone in the fastest group gets a $100 gift card for themselves!"

That had a bit of excited chatter running through everyone and Soap was quick to shoot Roach a thumbs up. The monetary incentives were something that Roach had suggested, just a little something to keep everyone invested in actually trying to win. The company had the money for it, more than enough money for it, so Soap and Ghost had readily agreed. "Alright everyone, split up and pick your team!"

Roach stood hesitantly, still holding tight to Lily's hand. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that he was going to be the last pick for any of the teams. They all wanted to win and he came with Lily, so whatever team picked him was going to have a bit of a disadvantage. He'd considered just asking Ghost and Soap if he could just sit the exercise out and cheer everyone on from the side, but he'd brushed that thought off. It came back now in full force and he found himself beginning to look around for where Soap and Ghost had gone to.

"Looking for someone, Bug?" Roach turned around to meet both Soap and Ghost who'd somehow snuck up on him.

"Hi, Suds! Hi, Ghost!" Lily waved at them excitedly, "Do we get to go on the big floaty thing?" She pointed excitedly to obstacle courses, her eyes wide.

Ghost gave a chuckle and glanced up carefully at Roach before responding, "We do. In fact, why don't you and your mom join Soap and I's team."

Roach was quick to chime in, "You guys don't have to do that." He waved them off, "Lily and I can just sit off to the side and cheer everyone on."

"Now why would we want that?" Soap leaned against Ghost with a grin, "We want the fastest people on our team, and," he looked down at Lily with a grin, "We hear there's a little speed demon right here to help us win."

"Yes!" Lily jumped up excitedly, "I'm super fast! I'm like the fastest swimmer in the world!" She pretended to flex for the group, pulling a small laugh from the three adults around her.

"What do you say then, Roach?" Soap turned his gaze back to Roach, the grin still on his face. "Join our team?"

"Alright," Roach agreed after a moment, an apologetic smile sent their way, "Apologies in advance if I make us lose. I'm certainly not as fast as speedy here." He playfully nudged Lily and she grinned up at him. He still felt a bit bad, but he figured that Soap and Ghost weren't exactly aiming to win anyways, so he might as well join their team with Lily to at least allow the little ball of energy he called his daughter to participate.

"Okay," Farah, who was doing the timing for their group stepped out of their way, "Get ready boys and girl, remember, the time to beat is two minutes!" She paused for a few moments, watching the small watch on her wrist before, "And…go!"

Their little group took off toward the obstacles, Lily rushing ahead of them to immediately begin climbing up the first of the obstacles, a small wall. She was moving up it quickly and Roach found himself snickering a bit as he heard Soap curse under his breath, impressed by her speed. He wasn't too surprised with how fast she was moving over this obstacle, after all, she'd always been a bit of a climber. They followed up after her, each jumping over the wall only moments after she did.

Roach made a point to pick her up as they moved to the next obstacle, helping move her to it a bit quicker because of her short legs. This one required them to slide through several inflatable holes in succession and, while Lily flew through them, when Soap tried to follow behind he caught his legs on the first hole, sending him tumbling through with a groan. Both Roach and Ghost laughed as they heard his groan from the other side and, when Roach followed through the hole after him (much more gracefully) he had a bright grin on his face. He was quick to help Soap back up to his feet as Ghost came through the hole after them.

They went through the next ones much more gracefully, though noticeably slower thanks to Soap trying not to trip again. By the time they made it through the last one, Lily was huffing and puffing waiting on them, her floaties crossed over her chest as she glared them down. "Come on! We're going to lose!"

They moved through a short little field of tubes next, forced to push them out of their way as they ran. Roach was following behind Ghost which meant that he got a perfect view of the moment when Soap released one of the tubes and it flung back to smack Ghost in the face, sending him stumbling back a bit. Roach hadn't been able to contain his laughter at that and had to grab onto Ghost's back so that he could be guided out of the field of tubes as laughter threatened to knock him to his knees. He'd still been laughing when they emerged from the tubes to see Soap already meeting them with apologies on his lips. Ghost had waved him off with a grumpy grumble and they'd moved through the next two obstacles with no issue.

"Close to the end," Roach commented as they came up to the little inflatable beams of varying sizes that they would have to jump over before moving off toward the final catwalk over to the end zone. The last part was really the only area where any of them would be able to fall into the water below. Luckily only one of them had to make it to the end of the course for their time to be considered finished. Though they would take a five-second penalty for anyone unable to make it to the end.

"This seems easy," Soap puffed up a bit, "Ghost and I can get through this quick and help you and Lils across the catwalk."

"Agreed," Ghost nodded, "Wait here, we'll go across."

Roach wanted to tell them that it wasn't necessary and that they could all go at once, but it was too late. His bosses were off, darting over the various inflatable beams quickly. Roach and Lily watched them go, Roach feeling more than a little impressed with their speed. The two were already nearing the last of the hurdles and Roach was certain that he was going to see them pop up at any second at the very end. That was until Ghost pulled ahead of Soap just slightly while moving toward the end. Roach saw the low-to-the-ground inflatable beam, but apparently, Ghost didn't as, before Roach could warn him, he was hitting it at full speed.

He immediately tumbled forward, falling flat over the last of the beams and tumbling down over the edge of the little inflatable obstacle course down into the water below. Roach started laughing at the same time as Soap, though Soap's laughter was short-lived as his distraction caused him to make the same mistake as Ghost and send himself flailing over the edge of the obstacle course and down to the water below with a splash. Roach was hunched over, his hands on his knees for support as laughter wracked his system. His eyes watered and he was sure he was going to pass out from the lack of air getting to his brain.

"Mommy!" Lily tugged at his arm as he continued laughing, "C'mon! We have to get to the end!"

Roach allowed himself to be dragged over the beams by his daughter, laughing the entire time that they moved. He barely made it over the beams and, as he and Lily came to the small catwalk, he was sure that he was going to fall over the edge to join Soap and Ghost in the water. He could see both of them floating down below, watching them. The sight only made him laugh harder.

He wasn't sure how long it took him and Lily to finally make it to the little end area, but when they did Roach's face felt delightfully warm and his cheeks hurt from how hard he was laughing. Their time was called and later, when he and Lily slid down the inflatable slide and into the water together and then made their way back to the beach to get their time, Roach couldn't be the slightest bit surprised to hear it had taken them over six minutes to complete the course.

"Sorry we didn't win," Soap handed Roach a can of cold Soda before plopping down next to him on the picnic bench he'd sat himself at. Roach was watching Lily dig under rocks for bugs, his eyes occasionally shooting over to admire the figure of Ghost prepping the grill for the burgers he'd promised to cook for everyone.

"I didn't think we would," Roach chuckled and sent a playful grin Soap's way, "If it hadn't been you and Ghost, it probably would have been me."

Soap chuckled, his face going a bit pink at the reminder of his and Ghost's tumble off of the obstacle course. "Better us than you," He leaned back against the picnic table and took a small sip from his drink, joining Roach in quietly watching Ghost and Lily. After a moment he gave a sigh and leaned a bit closer to Roach, motioning toward Ghost with a grin on his face, "You know if it was any other competition, we'd have won."

"Oh yeah?" Roach felt a small amused smile quirk up his lips.

"Oh yeah," Soap confirmed. "Ghost and I are good with a lot of things." He moved a bit closer to Roach, "Work for example. Or," his voice dropped a bit, "Our hands as another example."

Roach found himself flushing a bit at the low tone that Soap had used. He tried to shake it off, after all, there was no way that Soap was implying what he thought he was. It just wasn't possible. He cleared his throat nervously and brought his drink up to his mouth in an attempt to hide his blush, "Really?"

"Really," Soap looked him over carefully, the grin still on his face, "If you'd like, we'd be more than willing to- what the fuck!" He jerked back suddenly, his eyes going wide with panic as he lifted his feet from the ground and tucked them up on the bench, fear in his eyes. Roach trailed his eyes down quickly, amusement quickly squashing any heat in him as he spotted the little lizard on the ground that Soap was staring at.

He gave a slow chuckle and leaned down to pluck the little thing from the ground, holding it in his hands carefully, "Did he run over your foot?" He shot Soap an amused smile, chuckling at the embarrassed red color that was slowly taking over his face. Soap nodded his head slowly. "Don't worry," he gave him a small smile and held the lizard out for him to see, "They usually don't bite."

"That's comforting," Soap joked hesitantly, his eyes still wide.

Roach stood up from the bench, holding the creature carefully. He gave a slow hum as he looked around, trying to find a place to take the little thing, "Don't worry, I'll put it over in the woods so it won't bother you." He shot a wink to Soap before starting toward the treeline. "Lily, do you want to see a lizard for a few seconds?" His daughter was by his side in an instant, oohing and ahhing at the creature in his hands.

He held it for her for a few moments longer than he normally would, allowing her to gently stroke her fingers along it for a few moments. He gently transferred it into her hands and instructed her how to carefully release it onto a nearby rock. They both watched as it crawled rapidly down from the little rock Lily had placed it on and scuttled off across the forest floor. Roach waited until he'd lost sight of it to stand back up fully.

He gave a brief stretch before turning around, intent on rejoining Soap at the little picnic table they'd been sitting at. Instead, he slammed directly into a hard body. Within a moment there was cool sticky liquid soaking through his shirt and seeping onto his skin, pulling a grimace from him. He looked down at the dark-colored wet spot across his clothing.

"Shit, Roach," Alex was quick to set down the little red cup he'd been holding and grab a nearby towel, offering it to him, "I'm so sorry."

Roach waved him off, "It's okay," he gave a short chuckle, "Trust me when I say that Lily has spilled much worse on me before."

"Hey!"

"Should we talk about the bucket of paint?" He raised an eyebrow at his daughter and a sheepish look was quick to cover her face. She gave a grumble but said nothing else as she moved away from the two adults to begin hunting for bugs in the brush again. Roach shook his head at her and turned back to face Alex. He turned down the offered towel, "It's okay, I'll just run back to the cabin and change shirts," he looked down at himself with a wrinkle of his nose, "No way am I staying in this sticky thing for the rest of the day."

He stepped away from Alex and started toward the little path that would take him back to the cabin. The stickiness of his shirt pressing against his skin was getting to be a bit much for him, the feeling making his skin crawl. As he passed by where Ghost had just lit the fire for the grill, he made the decision to just go ahead and take the shirt off. There was no harm that would come from it.

He grabbed at the back of his shirt and was quick to tug it over his head, wadding the cloth up in his hands. Beside him, he could hear a quick clatter of something hitting the ground before a quick puff of warm air and a pop caught his attention. When he turned, it was to the sight of Ghost stumbling away from a large plume of fire that rose from the grill he'd just lit.

"Ghost!" He and Soap were quick to surround the taller man, both of them checking over him quickly as the fire of the grill died down. Luckily, it seemed that the man hadn't been burnt or singed, but there was a rather amusing ring of black soot around his face where the smoke from the fire had painted his skin.

Ghost seemed more dazed than anything, just blinking at Roach with wide eyes and pink dusting across his face as Roach checked him over carefully. A few others had gathered around them as well, Laswell, in particular, seemed to be anxiously awaiting whether Ghost was okay or not. Roach knew it was likely because she would be the one having to fill out the paperwork if someone got hurt on the retreat.

"Ghost," Roach carefully felt along Ghost's face, watching to see if the man winced at any particular point during the process, "Can you hear me? Are you hurting anywhere?"

Ghost shook his head slowly, still watching Roach with wide eyes. Despite the fact that he claimed to be fine, Roach was beginning to wonder if the man had a concussion or something from his fall to the ground.

"Simon," Soap's hand landed on Ghost's shoulder, his voice taking on a tone that Roach couldn't decipher. It seemed to be enough to snap Ghost out of whatever stupor he was in as his eyes quickly darted away from Roach and he started to slowly push himself from the ground. Roach tried to give him room but stayed close enough that he could rush forward to help if need be.

"I'm fine," Ghost's face had turned steadily pinker and he wouldn't meet Roach's eyes. "Sorry, I, uh, zoned out I guess. Used too much lighter fluid." He brushed himself off and leaned slightly into Soap who'd wrapped an arm around him to provide some support.

"Well," Roach nodded to him, "I'm glad you're okay, though, maybe you should let someone else work the grill?" He gave Ghost a small smile, the concern that had been written across his face slowly faded into something a bit calmer. If his heart had stopped for a brief second when he saw the fire bursting up toward Ghost, he could keep that to himself.

"I'm okay," Ghost assured, "I'll still cook, not like I really hurt myself."

Roach gave him an amused smile, "No," he agreed, "Thankfully not, but maybe you want to let someone else start it and come back to the cabin with me?"

Both Soap and Ghost's heads shot toward him, their eyes wide. "Come back to the cabin with you?" Ghost stuttered out after a moment, his face somehow going a shade pinker.

Roach raised an eyebrow at both of them, confusion filling him. It wasn't like he'd offered anything odd, so he couldn't quite understand why they both seemed so shocked by his words. "Yeah," he motioned toward Ghost's face, "To clean up all the soot and stuff you got on you?" Both Ghost and Soap seemed to deflate slightly at his words, sharing a quick glance with one another. Behind them, Alex and Farah gave quick choked-out laughs, only adding to Roach's confusion. "What did you guys think I meant?"

"Nothing," Ghost motioned forward, "You're right, I should clean up." He shot a quick glare toward Farah and Alex before marching past Roach in the direction of the cabin. Roach shot a confused glance toward Soap, but noticed that the man looked almost like a kicked puppy and wouldn't meet his gaze either.

"Right, um," he turned to look for Lily and found her already watching him closely, her little face twisted up into a look of serious contemplation that caught Roach by surprise. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so serious before. "Lily," he caught her attention, "You stay by Soap, okay?"

She nodded her head at him, her face still twisted up, "Okay, Mommy." Roach wanted to question her sudden deep thinking, but he decided better of it and instead just started after Ghost toward the cabin.

"Mommy?" Roach stopped in the doorway to the room that Lily was staying in. He'd already tucked her in and he'd just flipped the lights off when she called his name. Quickly, he flicked it back on and turned to face her, letting her know that he was listening, "Do you like Suds and Ghost?"

Roach tilted his head at her, a small smile quirking at his lips, "Of course I do. We work together, but they're my friends too. Why do you ask?"

Lily was quiet for a moment, her eyes trailing away from Roach and up toward the ceiling. She'd been contemplative ever since the moment that Ghost had nearly lost his eyebrows to the grill. Roach had checked in with her numerous times, but every time she'd just happily told him that she was okay before going back to her contemplation. Roach had wondered briefly if she was upset that they were going home already, but he was sure that Soap and Ghost's promise to bring her back had banished that sadness from her mind.

After a long moment, she asked, "Do you like Suds and Ghost," she paused for another moment before looking at him, her eyes practically piercing through him. In that moment he could clearly notice the two different colors of her eyes, one a greyish brown and the other an all too familiar pale green. His heart squeezed tight in his chest. "Mommy, do you like Soap and Ghost like you liked Daddy?"

Roach's heart stuttered over in his chest and, for a moment, he didn't remember how to breathe. "What," his voice broke and he had to take a few moments to breathe, "What do you mean by that sweetie?"

Lily watched him for another moment and Roach had to wonder if this truly was his six-year-old daughter that he was talking to. She seemed much older than she was. She seemed to know more than he'd thought possible for her. After another long moment, she seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and turned away from him. "Nevermind. Night, Mommy, love you."

She tucked herself under the covers like nothing had happened and Roach couldn't help but wonder if he'd imagined the whole thing. He stood still for a long moment, his mind running circles around itself. Finally, he reached up to turn the light in the room off. He stepped out of the room silently, pulling the door closed behind him. He stood there, his hand still on the cool metal of the doorknob.

It wasn't a question he'd been prepared for, certainly not one he'd been prepared to hear from his daughter. Now he found himself silently asking the question to himself, anxiety creeping up his shoulders as he did. He liked Soap and Ghost. But, like Lily asked, was it similar to what he'd felt before?

He didn't quite know if he was ready to face the answer to that yet.

"I can't believe I freaked out over a lizard," Soap sulked, tucking his face against Ghost's shoulder with an embarrassed groan. The whiskey glass in his hand was already half drunk. Next to him, Ghost seemed equally as downcast, his own whiskey glass already drained. He was on his second.

"At least you didn't nearly kill yourself just because he took his shirt off," He took another drink from his glass, his face feeling hot again. "Were we this useless when we were trying to get together?"

"I don't think so," Soap tucked himself closer to him on the couch, "I feel like we were braver then."

Ghost snorted, "Well, that I believe. I guess when you're getting shot at, confessing your feelings feels like nothing next to that." He sighed and tilted his head over so that his cheek was resting on the top of Soap's head, "Maybe we need to almost die again. Get some of that confidence back?"

Soap snorted and shook his head against Ghost's shoulder, "That's stupid. A terrible idea if I've ever heard one." He paused for a moment before groaning, "Though if it helps get rid of the memory of eating shit in front of him today, I might be more willing to agree to it."

"We're useless at this." Ghost sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Soap's head.

"I agree."

Both Soap and Ghost shot up immediately. They were quick to look behind them over the couch, panic coursing through their system as they met the gaze of Lily, still in her night clothes. "Lily," Soap plastered a smile onto his face, but his eyes were quick to scan around nervously, "Where's your mom?"

"Don't panic," she marched into the room and circled around the couch until she was standing in front of both Soap and Ghost, "He's still in bed. It's just me." She crossed her arms across her chest as Soap and Ghost shared a relieved look with one another.

"And why aren't you in bed?" Ghost asked carefully, an eyebrow raised at her.

"Because we need to talk." She sounded surprisingly serious for a six-year-old and Soap and Ghost shared an amused look with one another.

"Alright," Soap sat up fully in his seat and gave her a soft smile, "What's going on, kid?"

Lily watched them for a moment before narrowing her eyes, "You two like my Mommy, don't you?"

Soap choked on his own breath, his face going a bright red. Next to him, Ghost controlled his reaction much better. "Of course, we like your mom, Lily," He assured, "We're friends."

"No," Lily countered, "You want to kiss my mom! I can tell!"

That had Ghost snapping his mouth shut, his neck and ears going a bright red to match the color of Soap's face. They both stared at Lily, unsure of what to do in the moment. This was certainly not something they'd been prepared for in the slightest.

After a long moment of both Soap and Ghost stumbling over one another to try to refute Lily's words, the little girl rolled her eyes. "If you guys like my Mommy, just tell him!" She paused for a moment before giving a bright grin and adding, "Unless you just want him to keep saving you guys from lizards and laughing when you mess up." She gave a bit of a secretive giggle, Soap and Ghost's sheepish faces only making her laugh harder. Her laugh sounded a surprising bit like Roach's.

"You," Soap hesitated for a moment, "You're okay with Ghost and I wanting to..."

"You guys can be my dads if you want," Lily shrugged, "Oh wait!" She shook her head suddenly and pointed at them, "If you wanna be my dads you have to buy me a Nintendo Switch first! Oh! And a new bike! And I want some Sour gummy worms!" She paused to think for a moment and Ghost and Soap couldn't help the amused look that they shot one another. Lily's seriousness seemed to disappear at once and both of the men were reminded that Lily was only a child. A child who just wanted her mom to be happy. "And you guys have to come to the Daddy-daughter dances with me at school! And buy me more fun clothes! Oh, and I-"

"Lily," Ghost cut her off with an amused smile, "Why don't you make a list for us?"

"Oh! That's a good idea!" She jumped up excitedly and started toward the entrance to the living room, likely off to find a piece of paper and a pen. She stopped before she could fully leave the room, though, and turned to face the two men, "By the way, if it helps, my Mommy likes you guys too." With that, she left the room and two shocked men behind her.

"Everything alright with you two?" Roach asked the question as he shut his car door behind Lily. They'd fully packed up everything and now all that was left was for them to go home.

"Of course," Soap waved him off with a soft smile. There was something else in his eyes though, something that Roach could clearly see despite the man's obvious attempt to hide it. It was the same with Ghost. Both of them seemed to have something else going on in their mind, something that very clearly had to do with Roach considering it was only present when they looked at him. "Why do you ask?"

Roach shrugged, walking around the front of his car to meet them, "You two just seem quiet today, like you have something else on your minds." He hesitated for a moment before shyly adding, "I just want to make sure that you guys are okay."

Ghost and Soap shared a look with one another, something passing between them that Roach couldn't quite decipher. "We're fine, bug, really." Ghost turned back toward him, "Just, uh, well," he paused for a moment, "Things were a bit crazy, but did you at least have a good time this weekend?"

Roach gave a small chuckle, "I had a great time." He gave the two men a grin, "Thank you guys for letting me bring Lily. I know she enjoyed herself a lot."

Soap nodded at him, a grin crossing his own lips, "We're glad to hear, you know how much we care about the kid." The words warmed Roach's chest and he could feel his face heat up slightly. He did know. He also knew just how good both of the men were with his daughter. Just how good they would be if...

He cut himself off. He couldn't think like that. These were his bosses and there was certainly no way that they felt the same toward him. "Well," he cleared his throat nervously and gave the two men another smile, "I guess unless there's anything else you need from me?"

There was a long pause as Soap and Ghost looked at each other. They seemed to be having a silent debate but, in the end, it was as though neither of them won. Ghost turned back to him with a small smile and a nod, "You're free to go. Let us know when you and Lily make it home safe?"

Roach nodded, "Of course. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Despite the fact that it seemed like both Soap and Ghost wanted to say more, neither of them stopped Roach from getting into his car. It wasn't until they were pulling away from the little cabins that they'd spent the weekend in that Lily spoke. Her words were no louder than a mumble, but Roach still heard them.

"They're so silly." He didn't bother asking who the words were about. He could guess for himself.

A week after the weekend trip and a package was delivered to Roach's doorway, addressed to Lily. The only note on it was typed out reading, "As per our agreement."

Lily was more than happy to pull the Nintendo Switch out of its wrapping. Roach, on the other hand, couldn't help but wonder what exactly this "agreement" was that his daughter had supposedly made with his bosses.

[svperluminous]

Heyo!

You feel like randomly sharing some janaya HCs? Canon or Modern AU.

Anything goes.

Thx :=)

Absolutely!

Janai likes doing exciting things but she just thinks it's too silly because she's a queen now and she should be more serious, but Amaya takes her on these daring adventures, like rock climbing, ziplining, going down a river on a raft instead of a boat and while Janai initially protests, she always ends up having a very good time.

They're both morning people and wake up roughly at the same time but Amaya always gets out of bed first. She also likes making breakfast for Janai on weekends. She wasn't good at it in the beginning, being a soldier and all, but she improved over time and knows how to make Janai's favorite things.

Janai is the big spoon. She sleeps on the right side of the bed, while Amaya sleeps on the left.

Amaya didn't like dancing before meeting Janai. Hated, actually. But slowly, Janai showed her her favorite dances and moves and dancing with Janai felt different, felt special. At first Amaya was only comfortable dancing in private but since their wedding, she can dance in front of other people too, because she fully focuses on her wife and no one else exists for that moment (this is based on my own experience - I'm Amaya in this case xD)

They have a daughter (who is still nameless because I am terrible at names ToT). She was conceived with the help of Earth magic and Janai was the one who gave birth. (In my AU, Aaravos helps them with it because he and Janai are friends, despite everything)

When they started dating, they realized that they liked to read very different literature. Janai liked serious books about life, philosophy, history, while Amaya liked adventure books. However, they both occasionally secretly read trashy erotica and were too embarrassed to tell the other. They only found that out about each other once they married. By that time, Janai was quite good at sign language and was able to have a book discussion with Amaya.

Amaya wasn't a big fan of hand creams and stuff like that but Janai got her used to them. She didn't particularly care about various scented stuff, either until Janai helped her find the scents she actually liked.

They have a summer house outside the city where they get to escape to sometimes. In my post canon AU, Janai and Karim do actually become close again so they like to spend time there as all four of them and their daughters (Karim and Miyana also have a daughter, who's about half-a-year younger than Janaya's daughter).

[justmeinatree]

01 - the greatest show : the preacher in the pulpit

Summary : a group of misfits, a mysterious leader, a string of murders, and life on the road.

TW : transgender misconceptions & hardships in victorian era europe

Word Count : 5.6k

Series Masterlist

“in the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost. amen.” priest davies recites, his right hand in the air, making a sign of the cross above the heads of the entire congregation. making this the two million, eighty three thousand, nine hundred and sixty seventh time she hears those words. or so it felt like.

it’s not that she didn’t like the idea of god, it’s that she didn’t like learning that the church seemed to be ran in a way that opposed to a lot of the practices they’ve been taught. but she could never admit to that. it’s much too radical thinking. the year is only 1849, mind you. 

the problem she’s facing stems from a lifetime of church practices and church school and a super tiny church town. a lifetime of learning to submit, although really it didn’t feel as extreme as it sounds. she didn’t hate it, didn’t know anything else really. 

she sees the life her parents lead, the life everyone in this town leads, and she likes it. loves it, honestly. wants it. but she holds such a big, life altering secret. one that unfortunately wont let her lead that life. surely not in this part of the world, anyway.

looking around the small church, she notices mister wright, misses wright hanging onto his arm, their three kids trailing behind them. then the griffiths walking down the aisle, misses griffith obviously about ready to give birth, if her swollen stomach and awkward little waddle are anything to go by. and then who could forget mister morris, approaching his 50s, sitting in the back corner, a spot he’s now claimed as his own, since misses morris passed away a few months ago. it made her sad to think about, they’d been together 35years when the ol’gal passed on. 

she loved watching people, families, go about. it gave her an opportunity to disconnect from real life thoughts, and place herself into a beautifully conjured up imaginary story. one where she actually has the chance at love and happiness.

“timothy” her mum snips, pulling her from her thoughts, pulling her from her full happy fulfilling fantasy, shaking her head and looking over at her mum, as she goes on, “hurry up, we need to get to your uncle’s in time for lunch. your cousin oliver has some news to tell the family.”

and she’s not sure whether it’s hearing her name, the useless event that’s about to happen, or the fact that her mum makes such a big deal about everything, but her stomach has turned and fell and shattered.

as she rolls her eyes, sliding out of the pew, following her parents and little sister down the aisle, she murmurs, “we know oliver’s going to announce that he’s finally engaged to betsy.”

“oh stop it, you,” her mum snaps again, turning to look at her with sheer annoyance in her eyes. “why do you insist on being such a party pooper ? can’t you ever just happily go to an event ?”

“i don’t even understand why i need to go, and why this is even an event,” she sighs. “besides, it’s not like i’m ruining the party, we already know that’s what it’s going to be, right ? it’s useless,” she trails on, getting cut off now that they’ve reached the back of the church, father davies shaking hands with her parents.

the priest now turns his attention to her, a warm smile on his face, taking her hand in his, “was nice to see you timothy, i look forward to seeing you next weekend.”

and as she’s always been taught, she keeps a tight lipped smile, nodding her head in affirmation, before father davies shifts his attention to her sister, emma, following the same routine. a firm handshake, warm smile, a bid to a good week, and a promise to reunite next weekend. same time, same place. same, same, same. always the same. 

which, as mentioned, wasn’t terrible. she loved the idea of meeting a nice man, settling down, finding love. obviously the idea of kids was wiped off the table the moment god decided she’d be born in a body with a penis. 

but it was okay, she wasn’t angry with him. god, that is. figured that he did this for a reason. 

she was angry, however, or maybe frightened was the right word, with the people of the congregation. she’d heard stories of what happened to people like her. and although, she’d hoped her parents loved her too much to even think of something so awful, she knew, downright, that it wasn’t the case.

and that’s what she’ll never understand. if god is perfect, and his creations are perfect, why was she such a terrible creature ? why was it impossible to fathom that maybe a girl was born with a penis ? and why was she doomed to a future of white walls, straight jacket, botched early versions of lobotomy, rape, abuse, starvation, prison, complete segregation, and quite possible death ? why was love a concept she could only ever dream of ?

all thoughts that plague her mind on a daily basis, especially while she’s hiding in her room, stood in the dimmest light she can function in, dress draped over her small frame. she only had the one, tucked away in the depths of her drawers, something she pilfered from the seamstress’ shop years ago now.

she felt bad in the moment, assuming that whoever’s order it was would be proper upset, hopefully not taking it out too roughly on the poor seamstress. misses white could hold her own though, as delicate as she was with her craft, she could tear you apart if you so much as looked at her wrong.

and how she longed for such a badass attitude. generally she got a huge burst of confidence on the off times she had the opportunity to put the beautiful pale yellow dress on. but it was quickly wiped away whenever she’d hear so much as a tiny creak, immediately brought back to reality, shrugging the garment off, and hiding it all over again.

but in this moment, she was following her parents, walking side by side with her sister, down the road to their uncle’s house. and when she looks down, seeing her polished black shoes laced up intricately, her black, firmly pressed slacks, crisp white shirt buttoned up to the top, and tucked in tightly, a little bit of her light seems to fade.

she almost forgets, when she’s going about her life. her true colours, her true spark, that’s become an intricate part of who she is, typically shines brightly. you’ll rarely find someone that doesn’t love her presence. men, women, young, old, she gets on with everyone. a feat that’s not always easy, especially in their little village. 

and she supposes that’s the irony in this situation. if all these people knew her secret, they’d shun her completely without so much as a second thought. but nothing about her would be different. other than the name, and the cut/fit of the cotton hanging off her body.

but then, when she hears the word timothy, or she catches a glimpse of her clothing, and she’s begrudgingly reminded that she is in fact, a penis having human, and that means that she has to be a boy. and those are the moments you can almost literally see the spark leave her soul entirely.

she wonders if one day she’ll lose that shimmery glimmer of hope and love and light and joy. if the more she’s reminded that she must be timothy, the more difficult it will be for that spark to find her again. almost as if the spark is looking for her, and gets mistaken whenever it sees timothy, continuing on its journey to find her, flashing right past her stupid boy name and her stupid boy clothes.

“timmy ?” she hears softly, coming from right next to her.

“yeah, em ?” she hums, giving her head a shake, forcibly throwing those awful thoughts around her head, hoping to smash them up so badly with the force of it all, that they’re at bay for at least the rest of the day.

“you look sad. are you alright ?” emma asks quietly, still slightly too young to understand much of anything, but old enough to know that it’s crucial to keep her voice down, as to not garner the attention of their parents.

“m’alright honey bee,” she plasters on the biggest smile she can muster. which truthfully isn’t all that hard, in the presence of her little sister. if there was anyone she’d ever feel comfortable confiding in, it was emma. unfortunately, at the ripe age of 7 3/4, god forbid you forget the 3/4, emma’s still a bit too unpredictable in the secret keeping department.

“have i ever told you that i love when you call me honey bee,” emma smiles wide, eyes peering up.

“don’t think you have actually,” she hums in thought. “do you remember the day i gave you that nickname ?”

“sort of,” emma hums, the memory now very faded, as she was barely 3 years old when it happened. “you and i had gone for a walk. remember you slamming the front door and storming off. remember being scared when i heard the loud bang.”

“sorry about that,” she murmurs, nodding, as she remembers that morning like it was yesterday. remembers the loud screaming match she had with her mum, remembers storming off in a fit of furry, pacing the front of the house for a moment after having slammed the door. remembers adorable little emma, shyly peering through a crack in the door, asking quietly if timmy was alright. remembers the instant calming effect her little sister seemed to bring.

“remember going for a walk with you,” emma hums. “i could tell you were mad, i could feel it off you. but you were trying to hide it from me.”

“never told me that,” she murmurs, in thought. “you know, you saved me that day. you calmed me down so much, i just couldn’t stay mad with you around. you were so cute, running around, so innocent and happy, trying to make me laugh.”

“remember all of that,” emma smiles at the memory, always having been really close to timmy. the sibling bond, sibling love, was very strong between the two. “but i dont remember how we fell on honey bee.”

she smiles, laughing quietly, the memory crystal clear in her mind, “you had ran ahead, stopped by a large tree, remember you twirling around under it. anyways, i had caught up to you, when a bee flew out from the tree and kept bothering me. i was swatting away at it, when you yelled at me to stop. told me that clearly the honey bee had mistaken me for a pretty flower.”

“i said that ?” emma giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. 

“you’ve always surprised me with the things you say,” she laughs. “i think you surprise everyone with your well advanced view on the world. anyways, i dont think i’d ever felt more special, more beautiful, than i did in that moment, on that day. been calling you honey bee ever since.”

she can see the smile light up emma’s face, a memory emma’s obviously happy to now tuck away into her brain, the story finally complete in her mind, just as they walk up the pathway to their uncle’s house.

they all spot aunty jane, standing out front, hand extended in the air, waving at everyone. here we go, she thinks to herself.

finally, finally, back home, she mutters to herself as she shuts herself into her bedroom. sitting on the edge of her bed, elbows rested on her knees, head dipped down into her hands, taking lung fulls of shaky breaths.

“can’t do this, can’t do this, can’t do this anymore,” she mumbles quietly to herself, silent tears dripping down from her water filled eyes.

her brain feels like it’s imploding, her heart feels like it’s much too heavy for her chest, her stomach is turning, and she’s so god damn sick of it all. if she hears the name timothy one more time, she’s sure she’ll be gouging her eyeballs out, shoving knives in her eardrums, and swallowing arsenic for good measure.

she hadn’t noticed that her body was wracking through tremors, as she was trying, fuck swears she’s trying, to take proper breaths. but all of a sudden, her chest is too heavy, her lungs feel swollen, her throat is too tight, and the air just can’t get to where she needs it.

she blinks through some tears, the feeling of a panic attack nothing foreign to her. actually, it’s become a fairly usual occurrence following family gatherings. she can usually do her best to ignore the obvious fact that she’s imprisoned in a “boy” body on normal days. but put her in the presence of others and she struggles more and more each time.

and the unfortunate reality, the only way to make it all better, is to pull out that beautiful yellow dress and slip it on, cover her awful body with a garment that mirrors what she’s been picturing in her mind for almost a decade and a half. 

today, however, it’s still early, everyone’s still awake going about their business, a much too dangerous situation, she thinks to herself. which honestly, only makes the panic worsen. 

but, she can’t calm down, she can’t think straight, she can’t fucking breathe, and rational has flown straight out the window. she needs her dress, needs it. fuck it all, she needs a good strong inhale before her brain goes into the fuzzy abyss of no return. 

in a flurry of pure panic meeting the influx of adrenaline, she quickly stands straight, her head spinning uncontrollably from the lack of oxygen. her hands fall on her dresser, holding herself up, all of her strength and power coming from the rush of knowing that the dress will make it all better. her light at the end of a dark, panic ridden tunnel.

rummaging haphazardly through her drawer, clothes being thrown about in her room, because she needs, needs, needs that fucking dress. needs it now. nothing else matters, every ounce of her being is redirected and focused on dress, dress, dress.

her brain barely registers the yellow fabric through her gaze, only clicking once her hand wraps itself in soft cotton, a strike contrast to the rougher material of her usual, very well used, pants and button ups. 

and almost as if she’d been given pure cocaine, injected straight into her brain, for the strongest, most instant high, her body starts to calm. the mere presence of her dress enough to bring her back, feet solidly planted on the ground, breaths coming easier.

but it’s not enough, she needs to feel it, needs to see it, needs, needs, needs anything that isn’t such a grandiose expression of boy. so with the dress now laid out gently on her bed, she grips into her shirt, ripping the buttons right at the seams, as she tears it off her body, the garment joining all of her other clothes strewn across the room, with her slacks quick to follow.

and once she shimmies her way into her dress, her lungs finally, fucking finally, pull in the large breath of oxygen they’d been searching for. her brain starts to relax, the fuzzy blindness of panic and terror and pain starting to lift, as she looks down at herself, her body now mirroring what she’s always pictured, what she’s always wanted.

taking some calming breaths, letting the much needed air reach her brain, her body relaxes. she can feel her fingertips again. can feel her toes as she wiggles them. can feel the goosebumps on her skin as a chilly breeze flows through her open window, her arms hugging around herself in pure search of comfort. 

she can feel the silent tears wetting her cheeks, as she keeps crying quietly, the feeling of elation so overwhelming. going from pure, intense, rage ridden panic, to pure, intense, serene calm, throwing her brain, her body, for a complete loop of emotion. she felt almost lightheaded at the whirlwind of a switch that was just flicked in her mind.

and she isn’t too sure when it happened, or how it happened, the last 15 minutes having been too much, too much, too fucking much, but she finds herself laying in bed, eyes closing as her body screams at her to regulate, to shut off, to rest. 

so without a second thought, without her usual level headed moment of judgment, without her ability to assess that no, she should not be taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon, wearing a dress, when anyone could walk in, she ends up asleep. the panic attack having been the worst she’s ever experienced, every ounce of her being shutting down now that the adrenaline had crashed and her body felt peace in the envelopment of a beautiful yellow cotton dress.

at first she isn’t too sure what it was that woke her up. maybe she’d been asleep longer than she ever anticipated when she closed her eyes. maybe it was the newfound nip to the chill in the air that came with the darkness of early evening. maybe it was the lingering smell of whatever her mum was cooking up for dinner. 

but the moment she hears the loud gasp, followed by a booming shout of her father’s gruelling voice, she seems to remember the faint cry of her name. her god forsaken, stomach turning name. the faint cry coming from her sister’s sweet little melodic tone, obviously coming from far away in the kitchen, announcing that supper was about to be served. and naturally, when she couldn’t answer, thanks to her sleep ridden body, her father came trudging up the stairs looking for her.

“what in god’s sacred name is on your body, young man ?” she hears bellowing through her room, through the entire house really, and what a crude, awful way to wake up this is. she barely has the time to blink her eyes open, let alone give her brain a moment to steady itself and register its surroundings, before the booming stomps of her father’s feet can be heard echoing through the room, and probably shaking the floorboards enough for some dust to trickle down below them onto the lower floor of the house. 

she feels her father’s hand wrap itself in the garment, at chest level, giving a harsh enough tug to pull the upper half of her body clean off the bed below her. “i asked you a question, timothy,” he shouts right in her face, “where the fuck did you get this and why is it on you ?”

fear. pure, stricken, fear. she feels her heart stop, she feels the her stomach fall to a pit so low she didn’t know it could even go that far. she feels a prickling warmth spread through her entire body. her lungs seem to stop working, as she stares into her father’s disgust filled eyes, waiting for an explanation, none of which would be anywhere near good enough for him.

“i- i-“ she stutters around the shakiness of her breath, chest twitching, trying to gasp through any bit of air, soft voice working its way through, “it’s not what it looks like.”

in a fit of pure rage, her father pushes at her chest with force, such pure disgust evident in his eyes, as he lets go of the garment, letting her fall back against the bed.

by now, with the booming commotion, her mum and sister were standing in the doorway, curious eyes peering past the man of the house, to see what it is that’s got him so riled up.

she can see the shock in her mum’s eyes, hand covering what she can only assume to be her wide open mouth, jaw slackened with surprise. she can see the worry and confusion in her little sister’s regard, not totally grasping the scene in front of her, but old enough to understand that whatever was unfolding was nothing good. she can’t even look at her dad, the disgust she saw earlier, too much for her to look at again. it was already burned on her brain anyway.

she’d never been made to feel so ashamed in her life. she’d never felt so alone, so disgusting, so dirty, so small, so fucking revolting. she was trembling harder than she ever has, her gaze stuck on her hands resting softly in her lap. her ears were ringing so loud she could barely hear the conversation now happening between her parents.

fear. so much fear. what would happen now, who were they going to tell, where would she go, what would they make her do, how was this going to end ? 

her ears catch bits of sentences, “did you know ?”, “is that dress yours ?”, “send him to the asylum,” “give him a chance, maybe father davies- ,” “he’s a fucking worthless whore cross dresser !”, “we can’t just- ,” “get this sorry excuse for a son out of my face,” “daddy, dont- ,” “i never want to see that disgusting face again.”

it all went by in a blur, and the next thing she knows, her door is slammed shut, all wandering eyes closed off by the dark wood separating her from the world. 

still trembling, still shaken by the events, still gasping for breath, and for the first time, she can’t get the dress off fast enough. she tugs and rips and shimmies at a blinding pace, angry at the garment, angry at herself, for causing such a mess.

having lost any ounce of appetite, she spends the evening in her room, tucked in the smallest ball her body can wrap itself in, hiding away in a corner of her room, sheltering herself from the entirety of the world, while simultaneously attempting to comfort herself in any way she can.

she’s disgusting, she’s dirty, she’s a fucking abomination. what was she thinking ? what was she doing ? how could she humiliate herself like that ? she really felt like the lowest form of human there was. she’d never felt such deep shame in her life. 

she wasn’t sure how long she’d been squeezing herself into such a tight ball, angry thoughts swirling through her mind, until a soft, barely there knock can be heard from the other side of her door. at first, she wasn’t sure it had really happened, until she hears it again, more urgently this time.

her limbs hurt, joints creaking, as she untangles herself for the first time in god knows how many hours, padding quietly to the door, opening it just a crack, peering out into the hallway to find emma looking up with her big, innocent gaze.

opening the door more than just a crack, she beckons her sister into the bedroom, closing the door with a soft thud.

“are you okay ?” emma asks quietly, going to sit on the edge of the bed.

“you shouldn’t have seen that,” she hums quietly. “surprised mum and dad even let you come talk to me.”

“they’re asleep, it’s late now,” emma murmurs, shrugging. “they’re making you go to confess your sins to father davies tomorrow,” she explains, “overheard them talking after dinner.”

“of course they are,” she rolls her eyes, a silent tear running down her cheek. “this isn’t good emma. i’m in a lot of trouble.”

“just do what they say,” emma whispers, her own eyes filling with unshed tears. “they’re mad, but- but it’ll get better right ? can make this better ? i can’t lose my brother,” emma whimpers, afraid of the future, concerned for her favouritest family member.

“i’ll try,” she murmurs wetly, tears running freely down her cheeks, as she wraps her arms around her sister. she has to do what’s right. can’t leave her sister. can’t be a girl. she cannot be a fucking girl. she needs to be the big brother emma’s always loved and needed and came to for everything. she just needs to be.

or so she tells herself all night long, when the thoughts are too loud for her to get a wink of sleep, watching emma curled up next to her in comfort, holding onto her brother’s shirt for dear life, the only way she could reach a proper state of rest after the events of the day.

without having slept a wink all night long, her brain muttering through different thoughts, different scenarios, different possibilities, different outcomes, and enjoying the slight moments of peace when her gaze catches her innocent, sleeping sister, she starts to notice streams of light working their way through the small window. the sun slowly rising on a brand new day, full of hopes and dreams. or so she wishes. at this point, she isn’t too sure that hopes and dreams are still a part of life that she’s privy to.

she gently pats emma awake, watching her stretch out her limbs to waken them for the new day ahead. they both pad downstairs, noticing that it’s fairly quiet in the house. too quiet really. usually by this time their mum is muttering about the kitchen, getting their breakfasts ready. their father is typically shining his shoes, making sure his hat and tie are on straight, awaiting his breakfast before shuffling out the door and off to work.

but today, they couldn’t make out a single sound, the eerieness to it all not going unnoticed, creating a heavy swirling in the bottom of her stomach. did they abandon their children ? was she their reason for leaving ? was all of this entirely her fault ? now she was left to raise emma as her own, the two of them against this cruel world ? no, no, she figures it can’t quite be that bad. she needs to stop psyching herself out. they surely wouldn’t have left without emma.

now in the kitchen, emma notices the small piece of paper on the table, reading aloud, “father davies is waiting for you, timothy. after the confession of your sins, we expect to see our son back.”

she notices emma blinking up at her, all of the questions bouncing around her head seen clearly through the confusion in her gaze, “how would you not be their son ?”

“because i was wearing that dress,” she murmurs quietly, a short sentence full of shame, hatred, humiliation.

“but a dress doesn’t make you a girl,” emma pipes up, completely oblivious to the situation at hand. and how could anything but confusion and oblivion be etched on emma’s face when the concept of transgender has not even come close to being introduced to her. why should it ? people like this don’t exist. not out in public anyway.

“no, but my brain does,” she sighs quietly, shaking her head and snapping back into reality. “look, honey bee, i clearly have to go to the church. dont want to upset mum and dad any more than they already are. you wait at home, yeah ?”

“but -“

“no emma,” she shakes her head, “can’t come with me this time. need to do this one myself. mum and dad, or me, will be back soon, yeah ? here, have some bread and jam,” she hums, taking a plate and bringing it to the table. “next thing you know, someone’ll be home. you can work on your crochet in the meantime.”

“are you going to be okay timmy ?” emma asks quietly, almost shyly, ever worried for her brother.

she smiles sadly, not wanting to ever cause harm or worry to her little sister, giving her a kiss on the head, “i’ll be fine. eat, do something fun, and i’ll be home in no time.”

and with that, she sets off, the door closing gently behind her, as she walks down the familiar path leading to the town centre, and more specifically, the tallest building right in the middle of it all, the church.

she walks in quietly, the pit in her stomach having only grown larger and deeper and pittier. is that even a thing ? she’s not sure, but what she is sure of is that upon noticing father davies, her chest tightens, her lungs struggle to breathe, her head is absolutely swimming with worry, and is it possible to poop out your stomach ? because she thinks she just has.

“ah, timothy !” father davies smiles, turning around when he hears the shuffle of the large wooden door creaking closed. “good morning, son.”

and she swears, swears, that up until this point, father davies has never called her, son. surely out of spite, after having whatever conversation was had with her parents, and the entire ordeal makes her want to coward back and run out of the building altogether. but by sheer will, and maybe a little speckle of hope, she walks her way down the aisle, stopping at the last pew, sitting herself next to the priest.

“your parents tell me that you have some sins to confess,” he hums, looking her over, a gentle smile on his face, no foreseeable judgment in his gaze. yet.

as she sighs, her shoulders slumping a bit, she figures this is it. maybe telling her secret to father davies, to god, whom is surely listening right ?, maybe she’ll find a sparkle of hope. either way, confession has always been confidential. or so she’s always been affirmed. this is a conversation to be had with god. father davies is just like the interpreter. the messenger if you will.

“i was wearing a dress yesterday,” she mumbles quietly, still unsure of how much she can put her trust in the priest, but with having no one else to turn to, she has to put her faith in someone. and who better than a man of the church to turn to for faith.

“so i’ve been told,” he nods. “and what made you do that then ?”

“i like it,” she murmurs, shrugging her shoulders. “i dont see why it’s a big deal. i like wearing dresses. i- i-“ she sighs, the next part not something she ever anticipated telling to anyone. especially not this soon anyway. “i think i’m a girl.”

and at that, she notices the furrow in father davies’ eyebrows, notices the little hamster wheel turning very hard in his head, as he tries to make heads or tails of this situation.

truth is, he was not expecting that. maybe a confession of stealing, of being curious, because sure, who wasn’t at some point in their lives. but to be blatantly told that this boy thinks he’s a girl. well, it’s a little bit whacky, and a lot bit absurd.

as father davies sits, processing, not speaking a word, she sighs again, although this time with a slight edge as she’s maybe noticing that the faith and trust was misguided. “i dont understand why that’s so bad. if god made me this way, there’s a reason right ? father davies, if god isn’t capable of errors, why do i feel like such a mistake ?”

“you’re not a mistake, timothy. you’re maybe a little lost, maybe a little mistaken, maybe a little confused. but you are not a mistake, as you said yourself, god doesn’t make mistakes. maybe you just need some help in finding yourself, finding the man you were meant to be all along.”

the man. the man she was meant to be. her stomach plummets more, her heart beats more erratically, her fingers become more jittery, her head swims more and more. was she just mistaken ? no, no, she can’t be mistaken, she’s a girl. she knows. fucking knows that she’s a girl.

and as gut wrenching, as frightening, as confusing, as complex as this moment is, there is a click in her brain. a moment where the metaphorical fog has lifted. she is a girl, and she will do whatever it takes to have the freedom and happiness and love that she knows she deserves. 

“i’m sorry father, but i must disagree. my parents have sent me to speak with you to confess to my sins. and other than stealing that dress, years ago, i dont feel as though i have any sins to confess to. i am a girl. and if no one can agree with that, well then, i guess we’re done here.”

with a solid kick of confidence brought on by her new inner realization, she stands from the pew, nodding her goodbye to father davies, and walking down the aisle towards the back of the church, seeing herself out of the building. 

on the walk home, her mind swirls with the future unknown. she questions what will come out of her short conversation with father davies. will he keep her secret, or will he have, what she can only assume to be, a very disgruntled conversation with her parents ? will he tell others ? what will her parents do ? what will the others do ? what about poor little emma ? 

the one thing she does know is that she’s absolutely done. so fucking done. if even the priest, messenger of god, cant hear her out, she has no reason to hold onto hope. especially not here. with her newfound courage, she finds herself skipping towards her house, a huge contrast in her demeanour since she first walked this path, just a mere hour ago. because really, whatever happens, she will be the girl she’s always known she is. she will. she has to. for her sanity, she fucking has to.

Part 2

……

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N : dont worry your adorable little selves, we need a little background on our main character before we can meet our golden boy. harry’s on the way real real soon ! ✌️

tags : @daphnesutton @niallthebadboi @gorlsinmultifandoms @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

[ladylooch]

Hiiii! 👀

Could you write about T&Em first time after one of the babies? The 6 weeks of waiting must have been crazy! Ily 😘

-💜

A/N: First I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! Okay, now I can focus on writing this… I am using after Emma gave birth to Liv here. Because I feel with the twins they waited longer than 6 weeks and Emma had a “get the fuck away from me” mindset ☠️🤣

“How are you feeling?” Emma’s doctor asks as she is washing her hands in the sink.

“Great.” Emma responds cheerily. She truly is feeling well, which made the 6 week rule feel harder than she remembered it being with Lio. 

“And Livia is good?” 

“Yes! We are thinking of keeping her.” Emma jokes. 

“Ha! Good! How is Lio? You can lay down.” She says as she comes to her stool. 

“He’s… adjusting? Not quite used to sharing our attention.” Emma admits as she lays back. After two babies and countless doctors, nurses, and med students looking at her giving birth, having her feet in stirrups no longer phases her. 

“All normal. How is Timo? Boys are playing well.”

“Very well. We are looking forward to playoffs.” 

“Great! Well…” She pauses. “I am going to give you the green light here. Everything looks good. You’re feeling good. You have your birth control going?”

“Popping them like mints.” Emma chuckles. 

“I can’t remember, did you want to do an IUD again?”

“Um, I don’t think so. We are going to try to stick with the pill for now. Having a different brand and dosage makes me comfortable with going back after Lio.”

“Okay. Well if you change your mind, give us a call. Have a great day. Thanks for the pictures of Livia!” 

Emma quickly hustles to change back into her work outfit. She has an hour to get 16 blocks, but she isn’t quite sure if that’s going to cut it. She stuffs her heels in her bag as she walks out of the clinic, opting instead for her sneakers. On her way to the event center, she sends Timo a quick text.

You may pass go tonight.

Her husband’s internal response? Fuck waiting until tonight.

- - - 

Emma is hustling up to her office to go answer some emails she had been reading through on her phone. The event downstairs is going well and the assistant event planner had everything covered in the main space, leaving Emma to focus on the next event happening this weekend. Emma pushes the door open to the office suite, then heads to the water cooler to refill her water bottle. She takes a big chug, then almost chokes at the shadow of someone in her office. 

But she has nothing to worry about. Leaning against her desk is Timo Meier. He’s in one of his game day suits, his bare ankles crossed together, hands stuffed into the pockets of his blue, pinstripe suit. 

“Ah… hi.” Emma is breathless in the doorway. She glances over to where her window shades are drawn, looking out into the rest of the office. They are normally open. “What’s up? Are the babies okay?”

“They are.” Timo murmurs, not moving from where he is. 

“Timo.” Emma begins to shake her head. “We can’t.”

“Sh.” He cuts her off briskly. “Shut the door.” He tosses two finger in a backwards motion. She doesn’t move. Timo sighs, standing up, walking towards her. He towers over her as he reaches beyond her, putting his hand on the side of the door. “If you seriously don’t want to do this, you can walk out this door right now. No questions asked.” It’s the way he allows her to make a dash for it that has Emma’s inner muscles clenching.

“If I stay?”

“We are going to fuck the pictures off your desk again.” Emma moans, pushing Timo’s chest to knock him back towards the point of discussion. Timo startles back, blue eyes going wide with excited surprise. “That’s my girl.” He catches her as she leaps towards him. He hoists her up on his chest, bringing a hand to her ass to hold her up. “Finally going to give you a proper thank you for my perfect, baby girl.”

“I shouldn’t like that sentence.”

“Yeah you should. You’ve been so good to me. Now I’m going to be good to you.”

Emma can’t help but whimper as he sets her down on her desk. He sits on her office chair. Heavy inhales have her lips quivering as Timo runs his finger tips up her thighs.

“Can I taste you?” Emma nods earnestly. “Nipples?” 

“No.”

“How deep?”

“We will play it be ear.”

“Okay.” His fingers dart under her skirt, hooking around her panties and pulling them off. They’re red, a bit see through but a distinct, wet trail has dampened the fabric. Timo grins.

“You know I was coming?”

“I figured.” She admits, working her way back to rest her weight on the heels of her hands behind her. She brings her leg up to his shoulder, then hooks her ankle around the back of his head to bring him closer to her core. He laughs wickedly, then dives tongue first into her heat. 

Every stoke of Timo’s tongue against her folds has Emma trembling against the glass top of her desk. His big hands come round her hips, pulling her by her ass to his mouth. His tongue works and slurps her clit, like it’s a dripping ice cream cone he wants every drop of.

“Ohmygod.” Emma breathes out. The words shake in her mouth. “Yes. More.” She begs. He adds a suction to his mouth. “Oh yep, right there.” She nods frantically, reaching for his hair and holding him to her. “Don’t stop. Please Baby. Oh… my… Yes!” She squeaks out a needy whine as she comes on his face. 

Her orgasm washes over her folds, dampening her more until Timo isn’t sure what is from her or his mouth. He kisses her clit, causing her to jolt. He stands from the chair, kicking it back and out of the way as he reaches for his belt. He pops it open, staring down at Emma’s drunk daze with hot, burning desire. He is going to have to restrain himself from fucking her hard. 

“Tell me how to take you.” He drags a thick digit through her soaked folds, adoring the way she pushes into him. She’s ready again. 

“From behind.” He nods, then gently glides his middle finger into her entrance. She moans, fluttering around the appendage, desperate for more. “Babe, help me up.” He takes her hands, satisfied with how wobbly she stands on her heels. He steadies her, hands at her hips, then turns them. He presses down on her back, falling in love with her again as she looks back at him over her shoulder. 

He works himself out of his pants, giving two pumps of his shaft, squeezing the tip too as he folds her skirt up her back. He puts a guiding hand on her ass, then the other at the bottom of his shaft.

“Are you on the pill?” He asks, pausing at her entrance. He is pretty sure he saw her take it this morning.

“Yes.” She is croaky. Just how he likes her. 

He puts the tip of his dick against her, practically falling over at how good her wet pussy feels around his cock. 

“Mmm.” He moans profoundly as he pushes in. He removes his hand from his shaft, gripping her other hip to pull her completely down on him. Emma turns to jello against the desk. She has a sharp inhale of breath. “Okay?” He pauses.

“Move, T. I’m begging. Will do anything for you to fuck me harder. Please.” Timo’s eyes widen, then his balls tighten at her needy pleads. 

“Anything?” He teases, easing out, then pressing back in. Her moan is louder this time. “Will you scream my name when you cum?” He asks her. She nods, reaching back around to grip his bare ass with her hand. She digs her red fingernails into his thick cheek, encouraging him deeper. He picks a consistent tempo, but three strokes in, he knows he’s not going to last much longer. She feels too good and begs him for more with each thrust. Fuck holding back, she’s okay. Off he goes. Timo’s balls slap hard against Emma’s folds as he rails into her. She puts more pressure into her finger nails.

“Oh…..” She grits her teeth. “Timo, fuck.” She wails. Goosebumps protrude out of her skin, puckering her nipples in her bra as he takes her hard and deep. He slaps her ass firmly, leaving a stinging behind as that pushes her over the edge. Emma comes hard around Timo. He coughs at her fluttering then releases his load inside her dripping heat. 

“Oh my god.” Timo moans as he finishes. “Perfect. Your pussy is perfect, baby.” He assures her. 

Timo puts himself back into his underwear. He redoes his belt as Emma takes a chance to recover. Her pictures are strewn about the office again, making her purse her lips against a laugh. She feels Timo crouch behind her. He lifts one Louboutin pump, then the other, dragging her panties back into place. Then, he pulls her skirt back down, giving her ass a greedy grope. 

“Good as new.” He hauls her up flush against his chest. She melts into him for a moment. “See you at home for round two?” He trails his finger tips up her stomach, resting beneath her breasts.

“Mhm.”

“Have a good event, baby.” He kisses her throat, dragging his teeth over until he leaves a mark. Good thing Emma has make up in her bag. Although, she thinks that may have been her husband’s point. 

Once Emma is steady on her feet, Timo walks to the door, opening and turning to toss her a kiss before he disappears completely. 

“I love you, Mrs. Meier!” He calls out to her as he leaves her office suite. 

Emma giggles, then gets started on putting everything back together, including herself.

[im-just-a-br0adway-baby]

Encantober 2023 Day 12: Nerves

To say parenting was not easy was an understatement. Pepa had just had her second child, and now with four children in the Madrigal home, everything was getting much more chaotic. With Luisa just starting preschool a couple months ago, while they just had Camilo on the weekdays while the girls were in school, the weekends was when the chaos truly began. If the girls were not running all over Casita and breaking everything in sight, Camilo was sure to cry because he was always hungry and putting everything in his mouth.

The worst part of it was that Julieta and Pepa were doing all the discipline in the house. Every time Agustin or Felix would try to discipline their children, it would result in the girls laughing the entire time and not taking them seriously because of how big of marshmallows they were. However, now that Julieta is pregnant with her third child, she will not have the energy to keep up with all three girls soon, which leaves Pepa being the sole disciplinarian.

There was one particularly stressful day when Pepa almost snapped. She just put Camilo down for his nap as Julieta put Luisa down for her nap right next to him. She laid on Luisa’s bed next to her and fell asleep while cuddling with her. That left Pepa to go downstairs and see how Isabela and Dolores were doing.

As expected, Isabela and Dolores were drawing on Felix and Agustin’s faces in Castia’s courtyard while they were asleep on the couch together. The girls laughed and ran upstairs with their markers and began drawing on Casita’s walls. That was the girls’ favorite pastime since they learned how to hold a crayon, and it drove Pepa (and Julieta) nuts ever since.

Pepa began to thunder as she made her way upstairs to find the girls and took their markers away. “I want you both to go to your rooms right now! You are both grounded for the unforeseeable future!” she yelled as a crack of lightning struck.

The girls ran into their rooms and slammed their doors. Pepa did the same thing and slammed her door before crashing onto her bed. Having to monitor all the children since Julieta’s second pregnancy trimester started was enough to drive her to the brink. She almost fainted until Agustin and Felix woke up from the thunder and noticed Pepa’s door flashing. Felix got up from the couch and made his way upstairs to see how his wife was doing.

Once he got in their room, all he could see was Pepa completely passed out on the couch with a thundercloud overhead. If this was anyone else, he would not bother with even attempting to comfort her. But this was his wife, his whole world that was in a shutdown. He’s getting the sense that having to keep a tab on all the children took a toll on her.

“Amor? Are you okay? Can you turn around for me?” Felix asked.

Pepa turned around in her bed and opened her eyes slowly to see her husband sitting in front of her and smiled. “Felix, I’ve been so overworked between keeping up with the village’s crops and the girls getting on my nerves, I don’t think I’ll survive the birth of my third niece,” she explained.

Felix laid down next to his wife and gave her a hug. “Is there anything I can do to help? You know I will help you if you need it.”

Pepa tried to hold in a laugh to see the drawings Isabela and Dolores made on Felix’s face. In a way, she understood why the girls did not take him seriously, but this was something that turned her clouds into sunshine.

“What’s so funny, Pepi?”

“It’s just that… your face… it has… you have to look for yourself,” Pepa replied with breaks of laughter in between.

Felix went to the bathroom to see what she was talking about. Once he got to the mirror, he saw his face covered with his daughter and older niece’s artwork with various pictures of flowers, drawn-on glasses, and what looked like red lipstick. He started laughing in the mirror until Pepa walked into the bathroom to see his reaction.

“I saw Isa and Dolores draw that on you and Agustin before they drew on the walls upstairs,” she explained.

“Well, I can see why this made you feel better.”

"Was the girls drawing on the walls your breaking point?”

“Si, mi vida.”

“Did you send them to their rooms before shutting down?”

“Si. By the way, I was going to say to you after you offered to help that I see how the girls don’t take you or Agustin seriously so I didn’t think it would really help.”

“I’m sure I can make the girls take me seriously. It’s just that turning into the bad cop might take some time.”

Pepa and Felix laughed some more and made their way out of the bathroom to see Alma looking at the drawings on the walls angrily.

“Pepa, Felix, did Isabela and Dolores do this?”

“Si, mama; I sent them to their rooms.”

Alma walked away and made her way to Isabela’s room and knocked on her door. Isabela came out and Alma made her way to Dolores’s room with her. She knocked on her door and Dolores came out. She kneeled down to her two eldest granddaughters' levels and sternly confronted them.

“Isabela, Dolores, we do not color on the walls of Casita. Just because Casita can clean itself does not mean it’s going to let you get away with this. I want both of you to help me clean up this mess after dinner. For now, I want both of you in your rooms until dinner.”

Isabela and Dolores made their way back to their rooms as Pepa and Felix walked towards Alma. She then made her way to her daughter and son-in-law after noticing how burnt out she was.

“I will take care of the discipline for right now. I don’t want to see your cloud acting out if it gets to this point.”

“Gracias, mamá.”

Alma made her way downstairs as Agustin made his way upstairs. He saw Pepa and Felix at the top of the stairs and walked towards them.

“Hola, Pepa, Felix; where’s Julieta?”

“She fell asleep next to Luisa after putting her down for her nap. You should look in the mirror, Agustin.”

Agustin went into the bathroom to see his face adorned in drawings of flowers and smiley faces. He laughed in the mirror as Pepa and Felix joined in with him.

“You got to admit, Isabela and Dolores are becoming quite the makeup artists,” Felix pointed out as he looked in the mirror with Agustin.

“I’ll let you both wash your faces. I’m going to rest a little bit until dinner,” Pepa pointed out.

She went back to her room and plopped herself on her bed to rest up. While her sunshine faded away a little bit, her clouds were still not to be seen. Since her mother offered to help, she felt a little bit at ease.

[taanoir]

Challenge update time!

It's been a long time since I gave an update on where the challenge goals are. Here is Saori being done with Albert Lafoy, while I was testing out that have people stay the weekend feature.

Generation 6: The Industrial Revolution:

This ended up being the longest generation I think I've ever played in a challenge. Five kids is a lot to wrangle and the age gap was a bit brutal (The oldest was an adult long before the youngest was a teen). After the shock of jumping from Rococo/Colonial straight to early Victorian, I tried to show a bit of progression in the wardrobe and surroundings. We ended up covering from Victorian (1840 - 1900) through Edwardian (1901 - 1910) and picking up Gen 7 in the interwar era (1920). I had to rush it a bit and time was wonky because sim life state times are strange to begin with, plus infants were added in the middle of things. Elvira was born in 1839, the twins in 1843, Alex in 1855 and Maggie in 1871.

Maggie was originally planned to be the heir. Unfortunately she hates everything and would just quit doing whatever she was supposed to be doing to go sleep even if she wasn't tired. So, Alex who I kept at home as a "spare" got a promotion. I'm pretty sure he has a hidden child like or family trait because he is obsessed with taking care of kids.

Elvira maxed motor, mental and social as a child and had logic maxed before she graduated High School. She also made all the potions on the potions table. She was the first Varda to actually attend University and earn an in game degree. She maxed lots of skills Research and Debate, Handiness, Cooking, Gourmet Cooking, Gardening, Painting, Athletics, Writing and I'm sure I'm missing some.

Luis was supposed to be the villain, hindsight being 20/20 it should have been Clara. Luis was really just too nice for the job. He did max mischief, completed "Chief of Mischief" and won his 10 fights after much prodding.

Once he had completed his tasks I gave him a wife, who he had a giant crush from the time he was a teen and they had a lovely family. He's still one of my favorite sims. Thanks to his career as an athlete and completing the bodybuilder aspiration he'll be in my game for a long while:

All items were upgraded by various family members, Elvira, Luis, Alex and Maggie all maxed handiness. The hardest part was keeping Hana from fixing things before I could assign a household member.

Generation 7: The Roaring 20's:

The game play for the 20''s is way ahead of the posts. For now I will say we have exceeded the "Net worth of $1,000,000", at the time of Bernard's birth the net worth was over $3,000,000.

Also, without spoilers.

I've been fighting with dispatching non-family sims on my home lot. Apparently, to send them to the great plumbob in the sky they have to be added to the family first. Cowplants are nerfed, exhaustion of an elder won't work, and I haven't found a way to make a hot-headed, non-family member mad enough to expire even with hours of insults and mean interactions. If you add them to your family most of those things work. However, they still get the fear of cowplants trait and won't take the 2nd cake. If you have some advice or if something is working (that is not a violence mod) let me know.

[duskwoodgirl4life]

Chapter 15

MC's POV

These last couple of weeks have been such a world wind everything as happened at once Astrid gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. They had decided to call her Hope Richy was over the moon. I don't think I have ever seen him this happy before I can see how much he loves her. Jake and I went to visit Astrid in the hospital and meet Hope. She is so beautiful I must admit it was making me slightly broody but I didn't want to freak Jake out.

Cleo had been spending more time with Alan helping him settle into his house, I could tell she was trying extra hard to make him feel welcome. I still wasn't sure it was a good idea for her getting so close but I didn't say anything at least not yet. I decided I would see how things go before saying anything. If I felt Cleo was going to get her heart broken I would step in.

Jessy is slowly getting better. She can be in the same room as Richy now, I was concerned that they wouldn't be able to be around each other. Things still aren't perfect but they are being adults about the situation which is good. The rest of the group have been coming in everyday to grab a coffee and a slice of their favorite cake. They have all come round to the idea of the coffee shop and they can see how well it's working.

Lilly and Dan have been getting close. They have always liked each other. I'm happy that Dan has found someone who makes him happy. He's been doing so well at the delivery job Cleo and I gave him he is loving life right now. Thomas and Hannah at doing good Thomas proposed and Hannah said yes they are busy organizing an engagement party at the aurora.

Jake on the other hand has been a bit distant lately. I don't know what's got into him. When I ask him what's wrong he just tells me nothing and that everything is fine. I'm worried that he might be having doubts about being with me, sure it was all amazing in the beginning but now I think he's having second thoughts.

Who do I reach out to? I could talk to Cleo but she's so happy with Alan. Jessy is still dealing with what happened with Richy. I could reach out to Dan but I really don't want him to say I told you so. I guess the only option that is left is to confront Jake and make him tell me what's wrong.

After work MC headed home it had been a long day and was grateful for it being the weekend. When she arrived home Jake she overheard Jake on the phone to someone she couldn't quite make out who it was. MC decided to move towards the kitchen where she could hear Jake talking. As she got closer to the kitchen Jake spotted her and ended the call. MC looked at Jake with a puzzled look on her face MC walked towards Jake and stopped in front of him.

MC: Alright Jake what the hell is going on? Why are you acting so fucking weird

Jake: nothing is going on I already told you stop being so paranoid

MC: Me paranoid? You're the one hanging up the phone whenever I walk into a room

Jake: well maybe I wouldn't have to if you didn't keep eavesdropping on my conversations

MC: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Jake: Your always there listening in to what I'm saying

MC: Well if that's the way you feel then fine I'm out of here.

Before Jake could say anything MC stormed off to the bedroom slamming the door behind her. MC grabbed an overnight bag and started packing, throwing everything she needed into the bag. Once she had finished she grabbed the bag and walked out of the bedroom. Jake saw MC carrying a bag and instantly ran over to her.

Jake: MC where are you going?

MC: I don't know but I know one thing I'm not staying here another second

Jake: MC please, we can work this out please stay

MC: why the hell should I? I tried talking to you and all you could say was I was being paranoid

Jake: I'm sorry MC, please forgive me I..I

MC: Jake, what the hells going on? I thought we could tell each other everything and anything

Jake: we can, put the bag down and grab your jacket I need to show you something

MC grabbed her jacket and followed Jake out to the car, Jake drove into the town center and parked the car outside a house. The house was beautiful and it had a white picket fence. Amazing garden Jake took MCs hand and led her towards the house and stood near the picket fence.

MC: Jake what on earth are we doing outside somebody's house?

Jake: this isn't just anybody's house MC this is our house

MC: W-what?? Y-you bought this for us?

Jake: yes MC I did, that's why I couldn't tell you who I was talking to

MC looked into Jake's eyes, her own filling with tears, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deep.

MC: I love you Jake

Jake: I love you to MC, come on let me show you around the place

Jake took MCs hand and together they explored their new home together, Inside there was a beautiful wooden staircase that led upstairs. Upstairs was a master bedroom with an ensuite bathroom. The bathroom had a massive walk in shower to the side of the shower was a big bathtub big enough for 2 people.

Down the landing was another 3 rooms beautifully decorated, each having their own ensuite bathroom. Downstairs there was a dining room, next to that was the kitchen which was lovely and spacious. Following on from the kitchen was the living room. It was so spacious MC couldn't stop smiling. She was so happy as she was looking round she felt Jake's arms wrap around her waist.

A couple weeks later MC and Jake were all moved into the house, Jake had rented the apartment out to Cleo as she was looking for a bigger place.

Cleo's POV

Things with Alan have been going so well we have been getting on really well, at first Alan was having his struggles with the adjustments of living a normal life again. Whenever he was having a bad day he always talked to me about it. He was still getting therapy which was a massive help to him as I could only help so much. I have been thinking about asking him to move in with me but I haven't been able to find the right time.

We have been together for some time now and I feel ready for the next step in our relationship. The only thing that is scaring me is if I ask him and he says yes we could find we are not right for each other. Then on the other hand we could find that we are right for each other and it all works out.

Alan's POV

Things with Cleo have been doing so well I had my reservations about us being together but I am glad to be proven wrong. I can feel like she wants to take the next step within our relationship. I am worried about it that I can not deny but at the same time I do care for her so much. I have a therapy appointment later today so I can seek advice from my therapist. I do still go to Cleo with my problems but not all of them as sometimes it's things she can't fix.

I have been helping her settle into her new place. She's renting it from Jake and MC, it was a very kind act for them to do asking Cleo as they knew she was looking for a bigger place. I want to be able to move forwards in my relationship with Cleo but I am scared I love her of course.

Should I push myself to move forwards with her or do I just back off completely and leave duskwood. I've thought of this for so many months now and yet I still find myself in duskwood. I feel like the only thing that is truly keeping me here is being with Cleo. She is my everything everyday as we grow closer and closer.

We haven't slept together yet. I don't want to pressure her into something she doesn't want she hinted at wanting to but it's just not happened. Do we just bite the bullet and get it over with, do we stop letting our fears and doubts cloud our relationship.

I think if this is going to happen I want it to happen the right way, Cleo deserves to be wined and dined. I will book a table at the black swan and have a romantic dinner and afterwards see where the night goes.

Jake's POV

I've never seen MC this happy before, well I have but that's a whole other story, she's so happy in our new place. We have been busy getting everything unpacked and where we want things to go. It's been a lot of hard work but we have pulled it all off and it's all been worth it to see the smile on MCs face.

Tomorrow we are going to pick up paint samples. We can't decide which shade of blue will look better in the bathroom or in the kitchen. There is another surprise I have for MC that she doesn't know about. I have been keeping this from her. It's been a lot easier to keep this surprise from her.

It has been one long day. MC is having a long soak in the bath, I told her I would order Chinese takeout so we don't have to mess about with cooking. Now that I've finished ordering the food I go to sit down on the sofa with a glass of whiskey.

I sit down taking a small box out of my pocket and opening it up, I stare at the diamond ring in the box and I can't help but smile. I am so excited to ask MC for her hand in marriage.

[mesquitehoney]

i never planned on getting married nor do i want to now but i wish my grandma could have spoken to my boyfriend again. they met twice and it was brief and she asked me a lot about him when id see her but i never got to take him to california with us nor did she interrogate him. she saw me graduate and finish my first year of university and was with me from my birth at least every week until i moved out. she was like another parent or i guess she and my grandpa were like a unit of parent. she took me to school and we were late every time because we ate a slow egg breakfast together in the mornings and we’d watch movies super late into the night. she only ate butter and no salt on her popcorn and after we ate it in the bed we’d strip the bed and shake it off so all the kernels and bits of popcorn wouldn’t poke us when we slept. she taught me how to fold laundry (making the corners kiss). even as i write this i cant fully think of her because it is too much. i’ve had to just push everything down because when i really think about her and really feel in my body how i felt about her it paralyzes me. my mom and her parents raised me but i remember the times with my grandma so much more vividly because it was always a treat to see her even though it was often. she made the best scrambled eggs cooked in butter and folded into a square. i remember washing lettuce in her white basket spinner and hand tearing every piece for salads. we had weekend dinners at her house where she made cantonese food her dad would make and my grandpa made what he ate in arkansas. we had pork beans, baked potatoes (i always had sour cream and a lot of salt), steak (i gave it to my cousins), and my grandma would make dry ramen noodle salad, shumai, and char siu bao. that was her favorite food ever. i only ate pork with her and we would split giant char siu bao. she and my grandpa would drive an hour away to the best dim sum to get it and it was so sweet and fluffy. we watched movies i definitely shouldn’t have been watching at 7 but now they’re my favorite and most nostalgic ones. night of the hunter, american graffiti, flower drum song, phantom of the opera, time bandits, the neverending story. movies like snow white and the land before time as well. i distinctly remember watching shrek for the first time in her back bedroom on the big tube tv and being shocked when donkey said “damn” and i whipped my head over to look at her bc i felt guilty for his cussing but she was asleep. she never slept through the night and went to bed in the ams. when i was sick she used an acupressure stick on my foot and followed a youtube video for clearing sinuses using pressure points in the feet. she cooked incessantly until her second heart attack. she traveled with my mom and i when i was a baby. we went to goodwill to find knick knacks and plushes. she always had me sleepover and would drive me home in the middle of the night if i got homesick or scared. i had jaundice as a baby and instead of putting me under the lamps she took me home and held me outside in the sun every single day when my mom was too tired. she breastfed her nephews and nieces when her sisters couldn’t. she probably nursed for years after my youngest uncle was born. she had a mean streak like me. as she got older and her hand scrunched up from parkinson’s i saw it in her that she was giving up a bit. she stopped cooking and walking. i dyed her hair and put curlers in it under her careful instruction. i cut it about a year ago into her famous angled bob. she had long long fingernails and would scratch my arm and back with them and it felt so nice, and then she’d ask me to scratch her arm though mine were short. we drank a thousand cups of tea together. when i think of her i feel a painful ache in my forehead and sinuses and back of my throat and my chest. i wanted to evaporate into nothing after her funeral. i know she is at peace now that she can’t feel pain. she’s asleep and unconscious and not suffering because she is dead. i have more to say but i cant. i love my grandma. i will miss her forever

[ketso]

Episode 50

I’m at home this weekend. This is the weekend that the Mohales will be paying my lobola for me. Now that my dad is well again, stronger and able to see this through, we can finally do this. Wandisa can pretty much give birth any time. She won’t be coming this side for the Gauteng celebrations because she can no longer travel, but she will be present for the celebrations that will be happening at the royal house. Rena and Moloko stayed behind with her. Senzi is coming down with Reahile and his family. Khotso told me that he will be coming with quite a few people.

This house is full of people from my dad’s side of the family that I’ve never even met before. I wonder where they said they were going when they coming here because to be honest, they’ve never known me to say “we are going to Phuthi’s wedding.” I don’t know if they are close enough with my father to say “we are going to Tobias’ daughter’s wedding.”

Some names, I came across for the first time when my dad gave me a list of who should fly to the kingdom for the wedding. I honestly just felt like I was being sponged off here. But Khotso told me that we are doing this once then never again. I was feeling too petty to let them fly first class, so I put some of them in economy, and some on a bus. My dad said I was being stingy. At least I let him pick ten people who would fly. He’s flying first class with Mam’Celia.

I arrived here yesterday, on Thursday.

I did that intentionally because today, I want to go to my mother’s tomb.

As I head out, my dad stops me and asks, “Uyaphi, ntombi yami?”

He’s with Mam’Celia and someone from his side of his family.

“Ngisaya ethuneni likamama”, I say.

I see his energy drop a bit.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think you’d want to go. And I understand ukuthi that’s not something you want to do. Kodwa she was my mother, and I need to tell her about umsebenzi ozokwenzeka over this weekend. I also need to tell her why none of her family members will be there… why I don’t want them there.”

He nods his head then says, “I can go with you. If that’s okay.”

“You don’t have to, baba. I really understand.” I say.

“I want to.” He says.

“Okay. We leave in five minutes. I want to stop at a shop and get some flowers for her.” I say.

He nods his head then heads to the bedroom to change I suppose.

“Maphuthi, kungani ungafuni umndeni kamama wakho la?” Some random says. Apparently she’s family.

“And who are you konje?” I ask her.

She takes offence.

“Ngimangele nje ukuthi something I discussed and concluded with my father, you are now questioning me about with so much audacity. I mean really!”

“Yaze yadelela bo ingane kabhuti!” The lady. Oh, she’s an aunt.

“Banje vele when they get money”, another random says.

I just roll my eyes.

“Manje sisi awusho, thina sinjani that are not going to be travelling with an aeroplane to accompany you to Tholoana Kingdom? Why thina sihamba nge-bus?” The other random.

“Because I’m paying for it! And I don’t appreciate being told what to do with my money. So unless you are giving me money to make travel arrangements for you, don’t annoy me. I’m paying for your travel, your accommodation and everything that you’ll be eating when you are there. I’m expecting a thank you, not to be questioned. Nx!”

They all just keep quiet and scratch their heads.

“Mam’Celia, please tell ubaba that he will find me in the car. Ngizamulinda khona”, I say then head to the hired Jaguar F-Pace that I hired for while I’m this side.

My father and I are driving to my mom’s tomb now. I’m driving. He’s in the passenger seat.

“I don’t even know where she’s buried. I’ll be going for the first time.” He says.

I look at him. He looks sad. Why? Wasn’t she a cow towards him? Does he miss her or something?

“Is it something that you care about?” I ask him.

“She’s the only wife I’ve ever had. I never even got the opportunity to bury her. Ngahambisa izinkomo esibayeni sakubo. She’s the mother of the only child that I have. Despite our issues, I loved her. She’s played the biggest role in my life that any other woman has ever played in my life.” He just went all deep on me.

“Why didn’t you guys just divorce?” I ask him.

“I loved her. She never initiated the divorce. Neither did I. Maybe I had hope that we’d fix things again. Maybe that’s why I’ve also been struggling to commit to Celia. Maybe this visit to her tomb is something that I need.” He says.

Ja neh.

Heartbreak is actually sad on old people.

“Look at the beautiful daughter that she blessed me with. How can I not love her?” Now he’s getting emotional.

Let me change the subject.

“Baba, ngiyabonga ukuthi azange umeme abantu bakwaNyawose.” I say.

“I have nothing to say to them. They’ve genuinely hurt me with how they hurt you.”

I nod my head.

“Kodwa sengikhona. Akusena muntu that will still hurt you. Ngisho nomkhwenyana njalo.”

I laugh.

“Khotso won’t hurt me, baba. Ungakhululeka.” I say.

“Nawe don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt him the way that your mother has hurt me.” He says.

Eish. Ja, what my mom did was not okay.

“Did she suffer when she died?” He asks me.

“I don’t know, baba. I was in jail. The officials came to tell me in my cell that she had passed. I applied to be allowed to go to her funeral. Fortunately, I was able to do that. UKhotso nomndeni wakhe paid for the funeral and the tombstone because you know ukuthi kwaNyawose nje they have nothing. I was in jail but they still expected me to finance everything.” I say. I can’t exactly say that the church helped me bury my mother.

“Lo Khotso lo, kudala niyazana?”

I nod my head and say, “Yebo. Before I even went to jail.”

“Kudala nithandana?” He asks me.

“At the time, ngangithandana noNkosinathi… ubaba kaWandisa. Kodwa ke, he broke my heart into pieces I never thought I’d ever stop picking up. Futhi he was married. He told me that his marriage was practically over, kodwa ubeqamb’ amanga. I learned at that time ukuthi unless a man has signed divorce papers, akahlukene nomkakhe. I paid a heavy price for that… the biggest price being the instability that my daughter had to grow up in because ubaba wakhe didn’t want her. He insisted that she represented his betrayal to his wife. Yena nomkakhe bamuhambisa uWandisa, bamuyisa kwaNyawose. Ingane yami was raped, just like me, under those people’s watch. Ngiyabazonda baba. All of them. I’m sure if I could see them, I’d kill them. I don’t think they’ve paid enough for what they’ve done to my daughter and I.”

I even feel my hand and body shaking.

“Ngiyaxolisa ngane yami. Ngempela Ngiyaxolisa.” He says.

“But to answer your question… mah came to my court appearances. I just pleaded guilty because I just couldn’t stand the media in my face every time I had to be in court. And mah suffered. She came to court with Wandisa and Wandisa was just a baby. I didn’t want to see my mother and child attacked like that by the media, so I made the stint as short as possible. I cooperated. I took a plea deal and that was the last time I saw mah. She didn’t have money to come see me all the time. I didn’t even know that she was sick. At her funeral, bachazile ukuthi she suffered a lot. The cancer really attacked her slowly but painfully. She eventually gave in. Kodwa mina I didn’t see her, and I don’t exactly trust her family to be honest about anything. So angazi. Nabo nje I don’t know how they knew that she suffered because they all stopped seeing each other when I was in university. Abantu nje that like to be seen kodwa bayenz’amanyala behind closed doors. So I guess I’ll just never know the answer to your question.”

We are both silent for a while until we get to the mall.

I quickly buy a bunch of flowers then let my father take a bunch too. From here, we leave then head to the graveyard.

We are now here. I thought I’d be the one to fall apart. But it’s my father who breaks down and falls onto the tombstone. Yoh! I did not see this one coming. I try to be rub his back and not be awkward about this, but shame, he falls onto the body of the tombstone and just falls apart - completely.

I just stand here and let him have this moment. He clearly needs it more than I do. He cries and cries - weeps actually. It’s tense!

But after a good thirty minutes, he pulls himself together.

I’m thinking that I’m the one who should talk, but nope… he’s the one who goes for it.

“MaNyawose sthandwa senhliziyo yami… maGasa, mama we ngane yami okuyiyo yodwa enginayo. MaPhingoshe nkosikazi wami… Ngempela ngempela awusekho? I never thought that a day would come where I’d speaking to you as idlozi. I know that we promised each other that only death could do us part… kodwa I didn’t think that death would knock on our door while life was still keeping you away from me. Phela life stole you away from me first, before death did its part.”

He starts crying again. Now I’m getting emotional.

“Ngiyaxolisa Mangamahle. Ngiyaxolisa Singila! Meyiwa omalala ngokulala bavuka bakhomba ilanga, Nina enehla ngomzungulu wasala wabola, Nina bakwa gcogcobala, Amakhosi amakhulu asezilozini ezibuka umuntu engathi ziyamjamela, Abakanyoni ezimnyama ezimaphik'abomvu! I didn’t know that ngelinye ilanga ngizokhuluma nawe uyidlozi. Had I known, I would have never allowed you to kick me out of our home. I would have spent a little bit more time with you and our daughter. Maybe we could’ve even prevented her from going to prison, ntombenhle.”

This is so sad.

He sniffs then continues, “khona manje kuthiwa umfowenu raped our daughter!”

Okay, I’m crying.

“I should’ve stayed and protected my family. Kodwa akusenani ntombenhle. Our daughter found me again. I’m trying again to be her father, to be our granddaughter’s grandfather and soon, I’ll be a great-grandfather. Ngizobavikela from things that I couldn’t protect you from. I’ll make it right with them.”

He finally signals to me that I can now talk to my mother.

I kneel down next to her tombstone.

“Mama, it’s me… uMaphuthi. Ngihamba nobaba la, umyeni wakho, uBab’Tobias Ngwenya. Mah, I’m here to tell you ukuthi ngiyashada. Kukhona indoda yakwaMohale that I’ve met and we’ve decided to spend the rest of our lives together. Igama lakhe uKhotso Mohale. Njengoba ushone uwazi, nginendodakazi, uWandisa. We had a ritual for her esemncane ukuthi abizwe ngowakwaButhelezi, abantu bakubo babakhe. She has since got married. Ushadele kwaMaphumulo and she’s about to have a child herself. UKhotso naye uletha izingan’ ezimbili. A daughter named Lefatselabarena and a son named Moloko. Umama wabo washona. I have now stepped up and have become their mother. Ngakho-ke, uwena ugogo wabo. UMaphuthi wakho has three children now, not just one. I also have umkhwenyana, uSenzangakhona wakwaMaphumulo… so that’s four children. Ngicela ube idlozi elihle kubo bonke abantwana bami.”

I take a deep breath. Then I continue, “mama, ukushona kwakho, you knew that I don’t wish for a relationship with your family, oNyawose. You are aware futhi ukuthi umalume raped me repeatedly. You also knew that the whole family protected him and I couldn’t even get the help that I needed. Mah, you are also aware that Wandisa was raped under the guardianship of those people. So mah, I can’t have them around me or my child. Ngiyabazonda with every fibre of my being. The only way that they can stay alive is if they stay far away from me. Ngakho-ke mah, they are not going to be part of the proceedings of my wedding. Wena as idlozi lami, you’ll be the only one from kwaNyawose who will be present in spirit. Please make sure that konke kuhamba kahle. I love that man, ngidinga ukuthi konke kuhambe kahle. Once everything has been concluded, my surname will be Mohale. Ingakulahli leyo nto ke when I’m called Maphuthi Mohale, kakhulu ebukhosini bakwaMohale eTholoana Kingdom.”

My dad and I spend another thirty minutes just cleaning her tombstone. After we are done, we tell her that we are leaving, then we leave.

As soon as we get to the house, it’s super full. I just find my way to my bedroom. I don’t know where my dad goes to, but he’s also just as emotional to be dealing with the chaos here.

Now, that I’m in my bedroom, I decide to FaceTime Khotso. I miss him a lot anyway.

“Yo!” It’s Ona who answers his phone.

Where’s my man?!

“Hey. How are you?”

There’s such a noise where they are. It looks like a party.

“I’m good.” He says.

“Are you guys having a bachelor party or something?” I ask.

I start seeing naked girls around them.

He’s now talking to someone. He’s forgotten that I’m on the line.

I hang up.

I phone Teboho.

“Hey girl”, she answers her phone.

“Hey girl. Are these guys having a bachelor party or something? I’m trying to reach Khotso, but Ona answered his phone and I saw a bunch of naked girls all around them.”

“What?!”

“I’ll actually call of this entire wedding if Khotso doesn’t act right. I’m not even joking.” I say.

“Phuthi, I’ll phone you back.” She says and hangs up.

Heh!

“Maphuthi!” Someone yells for me.

I have my own stress please. My husband-to-be could be cheating on me.

“Maphuthi!” This person though!

Now she barges into my room.

“Do you not hear me calling you?” She barks at me.

“What do you want?” I ask her.

“We have to go and advise you. The women who will be advising you are here.”

“Advise me to do what?”

“On how to be a wife!”

“I don’t need your advice. Ngiyabonga.”

She stands there in shock.

She walks out.

I text Khotso, “You are busy with naked sluts a day before you pay lobola for me? Seriously? Aren’t you too old for that shit?!”

He doesn’t reply. It just says the message is delivered, but it hasn’t been read.

I send another one, “You know what, the wedding is off!”

Now I switch off my phone.

There’s a knock on my door.

All of a sudden I’m just so angry.

“WHAT?!” I yell.

Mam’Celia opens the door and walks in.

“Are you okay?” She gently asks me.

Now I feel bad.

“I’m fine.” I say, just as gently.

She walks in and sits on my bed next to me.

“Lalela Phuthi, I know that I’m not your mother, ngane yami… but I appreciate everything that you do for your father and me. So nami I thought I’d take it upon myself to do something motherly for you. I invited my friends from the neighbourhood to come and advise you, sisi. I’m so happy for you, ngane yami enhle. I know ukuthi lapho uyakhona, they are so lucky to have you as umakoti wabo. Ngicela usivumele sthandwa sami ukuthi nathi we gift you, we advise you and we do our part to make sure ukuthi uhamba izindlela zonke zihambiwe.” She says.

She’s not like that rude fuck that came in here.

“Okay. Ngiyabonga mama. Let me cover my shoulders.” I say.

After this, I leave my phone on the bed then follow her to the outside room that has been set up for me to be advised.

To be honest, I’m old. I’m not a young thing getting married wet behind my ears. But shame, let me let her have her moment amongst her township friends.

…

“Ke masipa fela! Le di topile kai difebe tse?!” Tebza has been going at us for the past hour. Thabi and Moringa have been helping her. Sonia has been draining our alcohol while these ones have been shitting on us. They literally threw people out… the strippers… that they keep calling whores. They even called them whores to their faces.

“And wena Khotso, Phuthi is so angry that she wants to call off the wedding.” Moringa says.

Okay, now I’m worried.

“Why?” I ask.

She looks at me like I should know.

“She FaceTimed you while you guys were out getting ice. She saw the strippers”, Ona tells me. Like only now?! Really?!

“And she phoned me! So well done, makoti wahao is about to end the wedding before it even starts. I hope you are happy.” Teboho.

I take my phone from Ona and look through it.

I see fifteen missed calls from Phuthi and messages… threatening me even. There’s even one that says that she’s calling off the wedding.

I get up and leave this session of wives shitting on us, trying to call my woman. I did absolutely nothing wrong. Zero!

Her phone is off!

Fucken hell!

I keep trying her phone as if it will be switched on the more I try it. Nothing.

I send her a message, “Baby, please call me. We are boarding our flight in the next two hours. There will be a wedding! I love you and I didn’t cheat on you. I was out getting ice when Ona answered my phone. I didn’t even have one stripper dance on me! Please Phuthi, don’t do this to me. Call me, baby.”

I take a deep breath.

I dial Wandi. I know she didn’t go, but maybe she can give me Celia’s number. Celia is on my team. She will make Phuthi talk to me.

“Hi Bab’Khotso”, Wandi answers her phone.

“Hey baby girl. How are you?”

“I’m good. Wena?”

“I’m fine. I’m trying to reach your mother, but her phone is off.”

“Ja, the last time I spoke to her, she was preparing for the advising process by the old mamas in the township. Maybe they are still busy.” She says.

Okay, that means she hasn’t told anyone that the wedding is off.

“Okay baby girl. I just wanted to talk to her before I boarded my flight. But I’ll leave her a message.”

“Okay. Nami if I find her within the next hour or two, I’ll tell her to phone you.”

“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”

“Don’t stress. You’ll come back with your wife. Phela you promised me a wedding. If you break promises to a pregnant person, it’s bad luck.” She says.

I laugh. She laughs too.

“Travel safely, baba.”

“Thanks baby girl. I’ll see you as soon as we get back okay?”

“Shup.”

We hang up.

My people and I are now boarding our flight. I still haven’t spoken to Phuthi. Her phone is back on now, but she’s just not answering my calls. I didn’t even want to have this bachelor party. This was more for the guys that just wanted the entertainment. Now I’m in shit. I keep calling her and only now she finally answers her phone.

“Khotso”, she answers her phone.

“Baby, why are you scaring me like this?”

“Scaring you like what? You are out here partying with naked sluts a day before we start our marriage journey and that’s completely normal to you? Do you know how hard I’ve had to restrain myself? I’m from prison, Khotso! We don’t exercise restraint too well. Patience is too low for bullshit.”

“Baby, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even want this party.”

“Did anyone dance on you naked?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me, Khotso!”

“I’m not lying. I’ve literally been going out and getting stuff. I haven’t even seen five minutes of the party.”

She takes a deep breath.

“Phuthi, ke rata wena. No one else. I’m boarding my flight now so that I can ensure that I spend the rest of my life with you. I’m sorry this shit ever happened.”

She’s still quiet.

“Baby, please… don’t do this. In a few hours, I’ll be landing there. Tomorrow, you’ll be my wife. Let’s not start this with a fight. I’m begging you.”

“So you’d rather we start it off with naked women dancing all over you?! I asked you, Khotso… I asked you if you still wanted other women. You told me I’m enough.”

“And I’m still saying that. Since you and I got serious, you are all I’ve ever had. I promise you, baby. And that won’t change. Ke batla wena fela, baby. I mean it.”

“Khotso, I’m not scared of jail. You can tell that to your sluts. I’ll murder them! Your penis better know where home is and stop eating in outside dustbins”, she says.

Yoh, these threats!

“I know baby. I’d never put you in that position. I love you.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Le nna kea o rata”, she says with the weirdest accent ever. I just laugh. But I feel less stressed.

“I’ll phone you when we land”, I tell her.

“No strippers in the plane?”

“None, I promise.”

“Okay. Travel safely. Kea o rata, Mohale.”

“Le nna kea o rata, Mme Mohale.”

We hang up.

“Are you good now?” Ona asks me.

“Ja. Yoh! Phela Phuthi wahlanya. She would call off the wedding.” I say.

We both laugh.

…

Saturday, 05:30am.

Ona and I are in the car, watching my poor team of negotiators yell Ngwenya clan names at the gate I actually paid for. Pope is leading them. He is with Senzi, Ntuthuko, and two of my Mohale elders. We got the Maphumulos involved because as far as Nguni venac is concerned, they are the champions.

Tamia stayed in the kingdom with Wandi. Well, the whole squad stayed behind. They are with Rena and Moloko. Rena is driving me crazy lately. So I’m glad she has Wandi. Wandi has her mother’s tolerance for masepa… it’s very low. But she has the gift of telling you to fuck off in the most gentle way possible. So she’s good for Rena right now.

My people are only let in at 6:15am. Ja neh.

Ona and I are chilling in this car with Maboko and Zithulele.

“You know… if there’s one thing I’m praying for it’s that I don’t bury her. I’m not going to survive another love of my life just dying on me”, I say.

They all look at me. They know what I mean.

“We are praying with you, bafo”, Zithulele says.

“So how did you end up with her? I mean, you fucked quite a lot of women. How did you decide that she’s the one?” Maboko asks me.

“Well, with Phuthi it was so much more than just sex.” I say.

“That’s what we say when the sex is not good”, Ona says.

We all laugh.

“No man. Phuthi is explosive in bed. There’s shit that she’s still teaching me. Like yoh! She shows me things in bed. In the beginning of our relationship, when I was still tapping other people, she made me find the others boring… others younger than her, bro. Yoh, she’s fit. That ass… it delivers.” I say.

“For real?” Maboko.

Zithulele is just laughing.

“Monna! Yerrrr!” I say.

They all think about it. It’s Zithulele’s laugh that makes us all laugh.

“What are you laughing at, monna?” I ask him.

“Because if my wife heard this conversation, I’d be a divorced man in the morning.”

We all laugh at him. Moringa is hectic! I actually believe him.

“Does she know about your son? Tsitsi’s kid?” Ona asks him.

“Ndoda, I don’t want to lose Tlali. If she finds out that I cheated on her and had a whole child on top of that… she’d leave me. So no, she doesn’t know. I can’t do that to my family.” He says.

“So what’s going to happen? I mean Tsitsi is dead now.” Me.

“She had to die. She was threatening to tell Letlali because I ended the affair. She’s not worth me losing my family over.”

“But now your son doesn’t have a mother… or you… I mean, Moringa will be mad, but it helps that Tsitsi is dead. Right? She will forgive you eventually.” Maboko.

“Do you know Letlali? That girl knows how to hold a grudge. Regodise went to the grave with Tlali being mad at her”, Ona.

“Remember that Nothile was pregnant?” Zithulele.

“Yeah?” We all say, looking at him because we are all interested with where he is going with this.

“Her child died at birth. I gave her my son. I buried her kid. She doesn’t know. No one knows. I just did what I had to. That way, when he visits, Letlali loves him and helps Nothile raise him. And because Nothile is a single mother, I play a father role. Nothile’s son, Phakathwayo, is my son.”

We are all blown away! The shock!

The lengths that he went through to make sure that his wife never finds out that he stepped out… and still kept his son around.

“Legoa, please tell us that you didn’t kill Nothile’s child at least.” Ona says. Actually, now I’m also… this is too convenient.

“Nah. Her child was a girl. She had a whole in her heart. She didn’t make it past the first night.” He says.

“But didn’t Nothile see that she gave birth to a girl, then suddenly she has a son?” Maboko.

“She went into a coma during birth. So she was out for two days. I just had Tsitsi pulled to the same hospital the same day that Nothile’s daughter passed away. Then I had her induced. They delivered the kid then killed her. I spoke to the doctor and nurses to make sure that Phakathwayo is Nothile’s son. It’s even easy to explain why he looks like Banathi and Mnqobi so much. I buried the daughter and pleaded with the ancestors to let Phakathwayo and Nothile be close… grow together… all of it.”

We are all honestly blown away.

He does look sad about it, not proud at all. Damn!

“So ja, Tlali can never find out about this.” He says.

“Well, I haven’t said a damn thing to Tebza.” Maboko.

“I also haven’t said anything to Phuthi.” I say.

“And I’ve said nothing to Thabi and Sonia.” Ona.

Legoa nods his head.

“How are things with Thabi now?” Maboko asks Ona, redirecting the conversation.

We all look at Ona.

“Yoh, it’s more difficult than I thought hey. She’s so… distant. Even when we have sex… her mind seems miles away - almost like how it was when she was having an affair with that stupid soccer player.” He says.

We all give him a look. Is he saying what we think he’s saying?

“I checked. She’s not cheating. Which kind of hurts a bit more. It means she’s really done with me emotionally. And now I’m also in shit with Sonia.”

“What the hell for?” Maboko.

“She says I’m prioritising Thabi over her and the kids”, Ona.

“Does Sonia understand that she’s vrou number two… that vrou number one takes preference? Or your dick is so good that it made her forget who she is in this marriage?” Legoa.

“She’s also mad that I kicked her out of the royal house.” Ona says.

“You what?!” We all say at the same time.

Then we laugh.

“Ja… I mean, if a wife has to live there, it should rightfully be Thabi. She’s my first wife and she’s the queen. But what she did by kicking Rena and Moloko out was just bullshit. So I decided to buy her a house too. The royal house will house the Mohale elders. None of my wives will live there. I’ll also go there for council meetings. Then any of our kids can go there. I told this to Thabi. She was happy, but it still wasn’t enough.” Ona.

“So what exactly does Thabi want?” I ask him.

“She says that I know what she wants. And she’s not going to tell me. If after all this time I still have no idea what to do to keep her, then we shouldn’t be married. Nna ke tsibela kai? Because I genuinely don’t know what she wants.”

“Yoh! Izinkinga zakho, bafo… zidlula ikhanda.” Legoa.

“So what are you going to do?” I ask him.

“A ke tsebe. Maybe I must just take on a third wife.” Ona.

We actually laugh.

He actually cannot be serious about this right now. He also laughs.

At about 8am, we hear ululating. My squad of negotiators come out, walking towards us.

“We are done, baba. Come get your wife.” Ntuthuko says to me.

We all climb out of the car. I just see the family coming out singing about. I also notice that some people are already headed for the tent to reserve their seats I suppose. I hope whatever will be happening in the tent is not going to take a long time.

Phuthi finally comes out of the house.

She has on a really nice dress. The dress is beaded, heavily beaded, then finished off with the brown and white animal skin that you’d find on Zulu male gear. She has a doek on then the look is completed with beaded sandals. She looks incredible. Absolutely breathtaking. We all also notice just how short she is. She lives in heels. Even her slippers have a heel nyana. Now she’s here in flats and she’s below my shoulder in height.

We meet each other halfway. She wants to take my hand and lead me to the tent. But I just attack her with a kiss. I’ve missed her so much.

She laughs.

Now we can walk and do whatever it is that she wants me to do.

-

The day is finished off at about 7pm. Now it’s just an after party.

I ask Phuthi to come with me to the hotel. She tells me that her dad and Celia gave her strict instructions to not do that.

But we fly to the kingdom tomorrow. The people taking the bus are leaving at 10pm tonight. Day after tomorrow is the actual wedding and it’s happening at the royal house.

“See you day after tomorrow, my love.” She says to me.

I kiss her.

“Dream about me”, I say.

“Always. Le wena dream about me. And no strippers.” She says.

I laugh then say, “I promise. Quickie nyana? I’m starving. It’s been three days.”

“I’ll make it worth your wait. I promise. I bought a new lingerie set.”

“Oh yea?”

“And in purple… the royal colour.”

I smile at her.

“I’ll send you some pictures tonight after you’ve confirmed that you guys are at the hotel and are safe.”

I kiss her.

“I love you.” I tell her.

“I love you. And I don’t want anything happening to you… to us.” She says.

“Nothing will happen to us.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

We kiss.

“I’m going to FaceTime the kids. Text me when you get to the hotel.” She says.

“You are an amazing mother”, I say.

“And you are an even better father.”

I know that’s a lie. She’s the better parent between the two of us. That’s the truth. But I just kiss her.

“Asambe ndoda.” Pope says to me.

We finally leave.

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                        Shin Yuna, who is known by no other name,                                   a 18 year old daughter of Freya.                                    She is a streamer and hacker.

FC NAME/GROUP: Shin Yuna, ITZY CHARACTER NAME: Shin Yuna AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 18 / December 9, 2003 PLACE OF BIRTH: Wonju-si, South Korea OCCUPATION: Twitch Streamer by day; Black Hat Hacker by night HEIGHT: 170 cm WEIGHT: 100 lbs DEFINING FEATURES: Ambrosia flowers wrapping around her left shoulder.

PERSONALITY: Yuna is cheerful, charismatic and carefree. Years as a streamer have made her quick-witted and magnetic. She loves to make people laugh, and she gives out compliments freely - she is also equally generous with the wealth she has amassed from hacking, although she is not quite as open about that. If you are her friend, though, she certainly takes care of her friends. She would do anything for the people closest to her.

Being a gamer, she also has a bit of a competitive side, which comes along with a penchant for teasing, trash-talking and mischief from time to time. After all, every rose has its thorns, right?

HISTORY: Yuna’s whole life, it had just been her and her dad. Shin Daehyun, a contractor, had been tough but fair with his employees and his daughter. He had always encouraged Yuna to pursue her passions, juggling a busy schedule to take her to figure skating lessons, track and field meets, coding classes, study groups and whatever else his daughter tried her hand at. He spent his evenings helping her with homework and his weekends taking her on day trips to historical monuments and amusement parks alike. He told her stories about her mother, who he claimed was a beautiful goddess from a far-off land. And he worked long, hard hours to pay for tuition to a top private school so that his daughter could get a good education and never have to do the manual labour that he did.

In Yuna’s mind, he was the perfect dad. And then he was gone.

It happened suddenly. One day, in the middle of biology, Yuna was called to the office. The principal, a middle-aged man she had maybe said three words to, had to break the news that her father had been killed in an accident at a construction site.

There was no one to call. Yuna was sixteen and completely alone in the world. She did not know what to do, so she just sat in the front office, crying. Every plant in the office wilted and died while she sat there. An hour later, a man who looked vaguely familiar came to fetch her. He was her dad’s lawyer, it turned out. And he was all she had.

Over the next month, Mr. Do sold Yuna’s childhood home and her father’s contracting company and helped her get her assets in order. By the time everything was settled, she had moved into a small rooftop apartment and she had some money in the bank to help her get by - but between the rent and her private school tuition, it was not going to last long. And there was certainly not going to be anything left when the time came for her to go to university.

Yuna had always been good with computers. She had even hacked into her high school’s database once to change a grade for a friend who had bombed an important test after breaking up with her boyfriend. It started with a bit of freelance work - building websites for local small businesses, mostly. It wasn’t enough. She used the last of her savings to buy a second monitor and a better PC. And then she hacked into the system of a high-profile company and sold confidential files to a competitor. She made 10 million won in one night.

All bets were off at that point. The black hat hacker daisy_chain was born, and it seemed like there was nothing she couldn’t do. She was a modern-day Robin Hood, stealing from greedy companies and redistributing the wealth as best she could.

Yuna’s grades started to slip, but she did not care - she could afford university now, but she didn’t need it. What she did care about, however, was that her sudden influx of cash might look suspicious. She gave away a lot of it, but she was still worried. So, she created another online persona: yunablossom. She started streaming on Twitch, quickly garnering an audience of attentive viewers. The “magic tricks” she did to make flowers appear out of thin air whenever someone subscribed or donated probably helped her popularity. She was Twitch’s flower fairy.

By the time she graduated high school, she had just barely managed to scrape by with her grades. But she had 100 million won in the bank and 25,000 Twitch subscribers.

And she had been approached with an interesting offer. An art thief half a world away had tracked her down on the dark web, recruiting her to help hack security systems and make sure there was no record of any of their activity anywhere online. It was easy money, and it was funny to see news about the stolen art pop up after a successful heist. Until it stopped being reported on. Because they were just that good.

Free from school and legally an adult, Yuna had been preparing to move out of her apartment and into a nice house when the art thief contacted her - but this time, not with another job. It seemed like people, law-abiding and not-so-law-abiding, were sniffing around. Maybe their crew was a little too good, and a lot of people either wanted to take them down or use them for their own means. She was told to move to a place called Mount Phoenix.

She had never even spoken to the man or seen his face. But she was nervous about getting caught, about everything she had built crumbling around her. So she packed up her things and told her subs that she was moving to a high-rise in Seoul. After all, she could work from anywhere. And she was really curious about the mysterious Americans she had been working with.

PANTHEON: Norse CHILD OF: Freya POWERS: Yuna is able to grow flowers and other vegetation from nothing, both consciously and unconsciously. Depending on her mood, she can make plants around her thrive or wilt. STRENGTHS: Extremely charismatic and likeable, generous, protective of and fiercely loyal to her friends, smart, resourceful. WEAKNESSES: Overly trusting, cares too much about what other people think, competitive, a little reckless, does not have good control of her powers.

[starfirette]

All Mine

⭐️reposting this because it didn't show up in the tags

⭐️ Jace Herondale x Fem! Brightlaw Reader

⭐️masterlist | here are your warnings: 17+ + PiV + fluffy smut + marking and possessive-ness + birth control runes

⭐️book/movie Jace??? Idk. I imagine movie Jace as Jace when I'm reading, which I'm doing rn, I'm rereading city of bones. I'm going to post the next three chapters of EWW to my ao3 this weekend, and maybe I'll get a good update out! Like a real one. Thanks everyone for being patient and bearing with me being a totally emotional spaz

Jace's room was usually clean. The immaculate space could only be described as that of belonging to a monk or a pastor, or any man who lived in quiet humbility. Typically the place was spotless: routinely dusted and the hardwood floors always swept--perhaps that was a trait he had picked up from Mayrse...she was a rather strong advocate for the neat freak movement, so perhaps something about being raised by her in his later years of childhood had rubbed off.

His stack of piano music books, and a few other personal belongings, tended to be neatly set on his dresser, the one with the huge mirror (the same one he probably spent forty minutes gazing into every morning).

But now the room was trashed. It had everything to do with the way Jace had dragged you around it. He'd tossed you on every possible surface and possessed your body. Books spilled across the edge as your hands buckled to find something to grip onto as Jace hoisted his hips hard against yours, filling you up with this long cock.

By now, it had been hours, and you were both on the bed.

His thumbs pressed hard into the flesh of your ass as he guided your hips back and forth, shushing you as he grinned like a fallen Angel.

"You like this cock, baby?" Jace asked, his curly golden hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. The flushed features of his sharp cheekbones and the flickering golden hue fading in and out of his crisp blue eyes reminded you of his angelic heritage.

"Come on, angel, answer me," Jace hissed as he tipped your face up. His long fingers pressed beneath your chin, and his eyes glittered gold with brief hunger as he examined the splotchy marks he'd littered on your throat.

"I do like it," you stammered out, still trying to hump his hips as fast and hard as you could. His cock was angled just right so it rubbed the spongy spot inside of you. Your clit was erect and pounding with rushing blood, beating fast like another pulse in your body.

"I like it, I like it," you whined, sounding pathetic and not at all like a Shadowhunter. What would your parabatai say if they knew just how cockdumb you'd become, and for Jace Herondale of all people. He easily was the most arrogant of all Shadowhunters.

"Yeah, I know you like it," Jace chuckled as he stroked your cheek with the back of his hands, the cool metal of his family rings, both the Wayland and the Herondale sigils passing over your flushed face. The coldness of the rings eased the sweat as Jace maneuvered his thumb to tickle your clitoris just lightly. It made your vision blur and you couldn't help but cry out.

"You own this cock, don't you?" Jace purred as he lazed back, his voice deep with pleasure as you cried in rumbling ecstasy. Your body was trembling all over and Jace caught you as you pushed forward, slumping over as you gave up on using your own hips to hump his dick.

Jace wrapped his arms around you. He had gotten bulkier, more muscular, since the last battle in Alicante against Jonathan's army; he'd found temporary peace in his excercising with Alec, as well as his clear mind. Heavenly Fire flooded his veins, making the apples of his cheeks rosy with rush and fever.

You groaned into the crook of Jace's neck as he held you together. Without his arms you might very well fall apart; come completely undone as Jace split you in half, releasing your shadowy soul and laying it to rest in the City of Bones.

"Daughter of The Brightlaws" your slated tombstone would read. "Killed by a Herondale cock."

Well, it'd be an interesting sight.

Jace's hips and thighs smacked up as he leaned back into the headboard of the large, Institute bed. He cradled you in his arms and softly groaned as he fucked into you. Your teeth sank over the Star shaped mark on his shoulder as his skin wettly slapped into yours.

"Gotta suck something to keep quiet?" Jace chuckled as your lips suckled onto the mark. "That's fucking hot. That's right, suck. Like it's my cock, okay?"

Your lips cramped as tears dropped down your cheeks. Your upteenth orgasm was stirring inside of you, churning like cream into sugar. It was a sweeter feeling than any cake batter or cookie dough; a stronger and hotter feeling than any fine whiskey or vodka you'd ever tasted.

Jace hissed as your teeth nipped his collar bone. The skin was blotched red and purple and it stained the Star mark on his shoulder.

You shuddered violently as cum spilled outside of you. It was leaking down your thighs, coating Jace's pelvis; it was a salty mix of the both of you: it was the last of the Herondales and Brightlaws, and it was being wasted on sloppy, sloppy sex; what would the consul say? How would the Clave react if they knew your left shoulder blade was coated with a birth control rune, courtesy of Clary Fairchild.

The sound of Jace's cock plunging in and out through the sticky flood of semen was erotic on its own. It lubricated your pounding clit so that even the lightest touch made you flinch in the best of ways.

"Cum on it again, okay, Angel? I can't get enough of the feeling. Aw, baby, don't cry," Jace chuckled as he used a thumb to wipe away the tears that settled on your cheeks. "I'm going to take such good care of you. Don't you know how much I love you?"

The creaking of the bed crescendoed into a slamming against the walls. No doubt the other residents were hearing all of this, and no doubt would they guffaw and joke about it during breakfast the next day.

"I love you," Jace said, his voice breathless as he held your hips down firmly. His cock was twitching and pounding as it hammered inside of you. His thighs were thick and full with muscle as they flexed to keep himself from collapsing into the mattress. His entire body burned with tire but he couldn't stop. He needed one more, one more burst of ecstasy with you. "I will love you until I die. And if there's a life after that? I'll love you then. Can't let my Angel be all alone...need to keep her company."

Your jaw went slack as drool dripped from your lips, sticking to the Herondale star as you emitted mindless sounds into his golden skin. "I love you, Jace," you said between hiccuping moans.

"And my cock?"

You couldn't help but laugh between the thrusts. "Even your cock, baby."

Jace firmly smacked you on the ass as he made a little noise of praise. "That's right. You love it. You love it, you own it; you milk it so good. Your wet pussy hugs me just right. Raziel made you for me."

His blue eyes flared with golden flame; the heavenly fire was forcing its way out of hiding, making his hands warm as the groped across your body. "You're all mine."