#but that bi label is something he really does value and he does think both guys and girls are nice looking even without being attracted to

[theguardianace]

i have this whole aroace wxs fic saga like completely planned out with various themes and experiences of being aroace and the different ways each of them would view their own identity but also i cannot for the life of me figure out the plot of any of the stories.

[bluedalahorse]

wlw in the sad swedish teens show: some thoughts

I’m going to share some stedrika thoughts, not as a meta, just as a kind of… sharing of my unsolicited personal opinions. There was a thread going around with some idea-provoking discussion, but I also feel like I’d be hijacking said thread if I weighed in. So I figured it was better to make my own post and chat there.

So I’m aro ace, but I also kind of identify with the label sapphic. I’m more gray ace than full ace, and that grayness of ace identity is 90% of the time directed toward women. I was in a romantic-sexual partnership with a woman for 2.5 years before figuring more things out. (Also, my ex was pretty toxic, so there was that.) I attended a single-sex college, continue to hang in groups of women today, and just generally exist in a social culture that leans more sapphic/wlw, homosocial, and ace. Probably the most masculinity-dominated experiences I have are logging onto my dash and watching fandom interaction that is a lot more mlm-focused than the rest of my life.

In the gap between seasons 1 and 2, I wasn’t hoping for stedrika as my wlw representation. I was hoping we would get gay or bi or ace or otherwise queer Felice. It isn’t too hard to make up a queer narrative for Felice. She connects with Wilhelm, who’s also figuring himself out, and we know how it is with the queer kids all finding one another even before they fully understand themselves what’s going on. Felice’s pursuit of Wilhelm and then pivoting to August also feels like she’s hitting the two ends of the spectrum of compulsory heterosexuality. Wilhelm is that nice, approachable boy where it’s easy to convince yourself you have a crush on him, because who wouldn’t? Also he’s a prince! August is that guy where you’re like “well if the idea of dating men is generally unpleasant all around, then dating the most unpleasant one is doing heterosexuality right, isn’t it?” Felice’s mom also puts a lot of pressure on her about boys (and that line about whose babies are royal feels like it’s something Felice would have been told growing up) in a way where you can parallel it to Kristina putting pressure on Wilhelm. There’s a lot of good queer and wlw material to work with for Felice! And I’m glad fandom hasn’t entirely given up on that, even if it doesn’t seem like canon is going that direction. (Send me your gay Felice fics where she’s the center of the story, btw. Send themmmm.)

Stedrika as wlw representation brushes up against the archetype of two femme best friends who are also roommates, one of whom is secretly pining for the other, one of whom may or may not be pining back. That archetype in its requited form is… not my favorite wlw archetype. I don’t mean I hate it, but I do mean I’m pretty “meh” about it. I read a lot of YA fiction, for both personal enjoyment and career reasons. Best-friends-to-lovers wlw comes up a lot, especially in stories where a wlw couple isn’t the center of the story. It can be enjoyable for me, if the characterization is complex enough overcome the trope itself. But I can’t help noticing how many mlm YA stories let a boy crush on the hot new boy, or someone outside his usual social circle, whereas the message for girls is “the one for you has been near you all along! Girls achieve an adventure by clicking their heels and saying There’s No Place Like Home!”

I understand that the sapphic girl with a crush on her bestie is a trope that has some basis in reality, and for some folks it can be really empowering to see those kinds of pairs get a Happily Ever After together. I also think it can be empowering for the female character with the sapphic crush to come to the realization (either through rejection or other circumstances) that her bestie isn’t going to like her back that way, but she does understand herself better now. And she’s going to use that knowledge to build herself up and explore new values and seek out new wlw relationships and join the queer revolution. Hahaha you can tell what sort of storyline I prefer. Truth be told I would be more interested in a story where Fredrika doesn’t requite Stella’s feelings and Stella has to reinvent herself than I would a story where suddenly they love each other. I’m sure the YR writing team would make the latter interesting too, but if they gave me a choice between the latter and the former and promised they would be equally well written, I’d pick the latter.

Here’s the other thing about stedrika. I don’t entirely find them boring. I do like them! This is going to sound like me being a problematic queer, maybe, but… I like the fact that they’re mean. Not in a “you go girl!” sort of way where I’m cheering on their meanness and tendency to gossip. I don’t want them to stay mean. But I do find it interesting that Stella at least is hiding some part of her authentic self, and she and Fredrika haven’t gotten to discuss something honestly, and the price they pay is lashing out at others for their authenticity, especially their authenticity around romantic feelings. I think there’s some interesting narrative questions to explore then, in terms of how do you learn to embrace others and yourself? What toll does it take, being closeted? How do you empower yourself within structures that are harming you—is hurting other people going to do it? Like gosh, that’s a whole character arc! I also think it’s really interesting how Lisa and the writing team have addressed the role that misogyny and assumptions around sex and physicality play in oppressing wlw queer folks. Like that whole discussion around what counts as “real sex” and losing one’s virginity that we see at Sara’s birthday sleepover. That was interesting to see play out onscreen and I’m glad they went there! (Send me your fics about messy stedrika, send themmmm. Send these girls on some kind of journey.)

Anyway, I’m also glad that stedrika is not the only wlw representation we have in Young Royals. Because we also have Rosh, who I absolutely adore with every fiber of my being. Rosh isn’t white or upper class, and she’s more tomboyish and comparatively less femme. She talks about her rebound after dating Yasmin/Yasmina, and there’s this wonderful sapphic chaos quality to it. She’s an openly queer girl in a best friendship with an openly queer boy, and you can tell that she and Simon lean on one another and probably came out to one another in middle school. (I think I have read this fic a few times, but I will always read more of it!) I love Rosh’s sense of justice and how committed she is to athletics and making sure Simon succeeds on the rowing team even if, as we all know, rowing isn’t a sport. Overall Rosh feels very specific and that makes her very real. Also I can’t resist a confident soccer lesbian, obviously I imprinted on Keira Knightly and Parminder Nagra in Bend It Like Beckham like every other queer girl born in the late 1980s.

Anyway. I actually think YR has a ton to offer us in terms of potential wlw representation, and interesting stories and characters that can be explored. (It has a lot to offer us in terms of female characters, period. I wish I had the time and fandom knowhow to create a female character centered ficathon. Is there any interest out there?)

The weird thing is I don’t know if I would feel confident writing this post at all if I hadn’t put in over 100k words of effort in fanfic for this fandom, most of it from female characters’ POVs. Some of that is het, sure, but I’m really, really proud of the sapphic self-discovery arc we gave Felice in Heart and Homeland. We let her struggle with her feelings at a time when she didn’t have the vocabulary for her feelings. We let Felice have a 19th century romantic friendship with Sara while also having sex and romances with other women, because lesbians can do both dammit. We let her kiss other women on the page, and do additional things beyond kissing also on the page. She was the first character we upped our rating to M for! We let her have friends-with-benefits hookups (because wlw characters shouldn’t always have to meet their forevergirl in their first girl) and we’re developing a new relationship in the upcoming chapters. (Okay, we did accidentally erase stedrika, because we wrote the first 19 chapters of our fic before season 2, and made occasional blink-and-you-miss-it references to a Stella/Henry sideplot. But let’s just say additional things are happening in the coming chapters.) I’m really happy with Felice’s storyline. I’m also happy that for a long time, I was the kid in fandom sighing and wishing there was more femslash, while feeling bad bad because I hadn’t written any myself. But now I have, and it feels a bit like achieving a Life Goal. I’m proud of myself!

And if you want to write femslash of your own, but you’ve always been a little scared or unsure of how to start? Hi. I’ll be your sounding board and your biggest cheerleader, if you want that. Tell me and we’ll have a lot of fun planning and writing! I BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOU ARE AMAZING.

[strangeswift]

I always thought the monologue was there to show El that the kind of love Mike has for her is not the way she wants to be loved, and that their relationship couldn't be saved by him saying "I love you" because they had bigger issues than just him not saying those words. El's whole arc this season is about how she can't be put into a box with the words 'monster' and 'superhero' and yet in Mike's monologue he once again refers to her a superhero, which to me is setting up a conversation where El calls out Mike for loving the superhero that he thinks she is rather than the person that she really is, and she will break up with him because she wants to find out who she is without all of that pressure and those labels.

Two of the most prominent memories used when she revived Max were "there's more to life than stupid boys" and "not Hopper, not Mike, you," and I think that is setting up El's independence era where she realizes that she doesn't need a boyfriend and wants to focus on herself, especially now that she has to deal with Hopper's return, the fallout of Max's coma, and the impending fight against Vecna. She'll realize that she cares about Mike deeply but being with him romantically is not what she needs for herself.

Also this is just me and I think most Bylers will heavily disagree but I think they're going with Bi!Mike (who is aware on some level that there's something different about Will but doesn't know at all that he loves Will yet) and doing the misattribution of feelings trope where Mike was only able to say "I love you" because he fell in love with Will's feelings in the van and believed he loved El because of how those words made him feel. He says "I love you for exactly who you are" to her but it's clear that this is going to fall apart soon because the "exactly who you are" that Mike believes in is not El - she never said any of those things that made him feel so loved and so valued. That person was Will.

I think that once Mike finds out about the painting and Milkvan breaks up due to Mike realizing that El didn't say any of that "you're the heart" stuff, Will is going to confess to him as an explanation for why he lied and Mike will 'platonically accept him' at first and they will be closer than ever. Then after the timeskip, as they work together as a team to defeat Vecna, we're going to see Mike realizing that he has feelings for Will too and they'll probably kiss towards the very end of the show. Mike probably won't get an explicit bi label but they'll show him being in a happy relationship with Will.

I don't see a convincing way to do Gay!Mike at all after the monologue but I think implied Bi!Mike - where he thought he loved El due to the van speech but eventually finds out that those were Will's words, which jump-starts their romance arc - is very possible.

(The only line that truly bugs me in the monologue is the 'my life started the day we found you in the woods.' We as an audience know it's bullshit bc Mike did not love El immediately and he also said befriending Will in kindergarten was the best thing he's ever done but idk how they're going to explain away that one in-universe. But the rest of it is fairly easy to debunk imo and actually serves a purpose for both El's arc and Mike's realization of his feelings.)

Warning for mild By1er doubt

Very good points and well said.

To the gay Mike vs. bi Mike point, I definitely think he's going to be unlabeled in canon. Personally I am a gay Mike truther primarily because "It's not my fault you don't like girls" reads as projection to me which only makes sense if Mike does not, in fact, like girls. And I think they could do gay Mike in a convincing way. (Here's my thoughts on what is going on in Mikes head during the monolgue, which I wrote from the perspective of him being gay, though it doesn't have to be read that way.) BUT I don't think they will do gay Mike, in canon he'll definitely be unlabeled.

To the point about the "my life started the day I found you in the woods" Yeah that line bumps me too. I know a lot of people use it as evidence that Mike is obviously lying through the whole monolgue. But I don't really think he's intentionally lying? So that doesn't explain it away for me. The pessimistic part of me just thinks maybe the writers just didn't expect people to read into it that much so they didn't concern themselves with the fact that Mike canonically was going to let El be sent "back to Pennhurst or wherever she came from." But I honestly don't know what to think about it. (I do have a theory about this line but I don't know how much merit to put into it, I'll probably make a separate post about it.)

Anyway, you made extremely good points. As I said before, I'm a massive pessimist, so everything I say regarding S5 predictions should probably be taken with a grain of salt for that reason. I have a hard time trusting the Duffers because I have a hard time trusting anyone.

For example, I am sort of afraid that they're still going to lean into the Superhero thing for El now that she has her powers back. It is possible that El was only upset at being called that because she didn't have her powers at the time. That's not the way I choose to interpret her character, I think she doesn't want to be a "superhero" regardless, BUT I worry that we're all misinterpreting it and the Duffers are going to be stupid idiots. But I won't dig too much more into the things about the monolgue that worry me, because that's depressing and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts anon, you said it well so I don't have much else to add. I sincerely hope that you are 100% correct and this is exactly the way the Duffers intended it to be interpreted.

[ingravinoveritas]

So, Heart to Heart. Have you read what the writer said about David? "(David is one of the) very few big name male actors who I would trust with providing the inner monologue of a young lesbian. Lump says such gross things and there's a version of that that's just offensive, you know? Whoever's voicing him, should be hilarious but not predatory, and that required an actor who didn't have the gross funk of toxic masculinity rolling off him. David Tennant was pretty much the only 'name' who came to mind who I felt confident was the right fit: smart, funny and sensitive ... And then I had to text my friends crying about how I was going to have to explain what a fursona was to David Tennant. He was such a class act, bless him. I'm Scottish and always intended for Lump to sound Glaswegian - in part as a tribute to a Glaswegian friend of mine, a cardiology nurse whose stories really helped me during development - and I think David was just pleased to be asked to be Scottish for once!" https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.comedy.co.uk/tv/news/5808/heart-to-heart-pilot/amp/ I think that's not only very sweet but also extremely accurate and very well worded, it perfectly describes what I've always found so attractive about David (and Michael, I firmly believe that he's one of these - unfortunately very rare - big name actors as well, only without the Highlands inside of him), this absolute lack of toxic masculinity. And it's so nice that that's something David is really known for in the business, as well as something that he absolutely embraces.

Hey, Anon! I did indeed hear/read yesterday what the writer of Heart To Heart said about David, and I absolutely could not agree more with her sentiments.

An entire lack of toxic masculinity is also one of the things I adore about David, and sums him up perfectly. I do think that part of what made him fit the role of Lump so well is that he is such an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community, and also potentially part of that community himself. This was discussed previously on my blog--most recently on this post, in response to another Anon--that David isn’t as vocal about his sexuality as Michael, but he’s gradually told us who he is, in his own way.

I think there could also something about this role that allows him to do that--to bring that nontoxic masculinity that perhaps was something David used to be teased or bullied for and make it an asset. Like the writer of H2H said, with the lines that Lump was given, it would take a really specific type of actor to make those words hilarious without being predatory. And while there are few men who could be accurately described as “pervy but harmless,” David is one of them. It’s that same quality he brought to the role of Casanova, making him less of a “classic lothario” and more like an overeager slut puppy instead.

What stood out for me as well was that line about “You have to admit it.” / “What?” / “That we suffer many ailments, darling, but heterosexualism isn't one of them.” It almost seemed like David was talking to his 21-year-old self, in a way. The part of him that knew exactly how he felt, but was afraid to be honest about it, for any number of reasons. It’s also interesting how there are parallels between this role and Crowley, mainly that what Lump the Heart and Crowley have in common is that being gay isn’t the central focus of who they are. They are both attracted to and looking to connect with a particular person, but without putting a label on it, without having that attraction/sexuality be the thing that defines them. It just is, and is part of who they are.

So I wonder if maybe that is something David feels he can relate to. I have noticed that he hasn’t historically played a large number of overtly queer roles (though curiously he has never had a problem kissing men IRL). But perhaps he just felt there wasn’t an overt queer role that was the right fit until now.

Whatever the case may be, and whether this leads to David coming out as bi--on his own terms, when he feels safe--I just hope he continues to embrace that wonderful intelligence and sweetness and overall nontoxic masculinity and have it valued in everything he does. Bless him...

[hellomynameisbisexual]

“Personally, I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream; you’d be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavours.” This endearing analogy, uttered by equally endearing Icelandic icon Björk, stresses her steadfast opinion that “everyone is bisexual”. But even if bisexuality doesn’t describe everyone, it makes up the largest proportion of all people non-compliant to the adjective ‘straight’. Simply put, bisexuality is a term to describe individuals who feel romantically and/or sexually attracted to both sexes, meaning their preference is neither exclusive to men nor women.

But despite its sizeable demographic, and the numerous studies which conclude pure hetero- or homosexuality to be a myth, bisexuals often fall victim to social ostracism. Too gay for straights, too straight for gays, bisexuals are too frequently labelled as frauds or experimentalists, incapable of committing to one sole party. And as society’s understanding of sex and gender progresses, leaving little room for binaries, ‘bi’sexuality becomes increasingly complex.

Bisexuality Pride LGBTQ David Bowie Lady Gaga Freddie Mercury Music Pop Culture Pride 2019 Pansexual Queer Think Piece

A constant and bothersome companion to bisexuality is its apparent ambiguity—society’s inability to grasp the potential for erotic or amorous interaction with not just one of the two sexes has wrongfully made bisexuality a matter of superstition. A recent study found that bisexuals, of all sexual minorities, are the most likely to suffer from mental illness along the lines of anxiety and depression, stemming from both internalised and externally inflicted biphobia on account of stigmatisation and discrimination induced not only by straight people, but by members of their own community as well. The most prevalent vehicle for intolerance of bisexuals is (surprise, surprise) the narrow-minded idea of there only being two sides to pick from, leading to nonsense-assessments à la “bi people are repressing something”, “bi people are on the verge”. Moreover, male-identifying bisexuals are regularly pigeonholed as gay men who want to feel more “normal” every now and then by strutting alongside a woman, whereas many bisexual women endure belittlement, their experiences reduced to mere trial and error phases of rebellious college years.

But what does being bi even really mean in an age when dating apps such as Tinder offer more than 20 options to describe one’s own identity? How timely is the concept of bisexuality when we’re on the cusp of throwing out expired definitions meant to mathematise human sexuality and identity politics? Connecting the dots—ranging from those force-feeding frequently surreal interpretations of bisexuality to the rusty roles and rules of gender coinciding herewith—brings along another, very new problem for and with the titular term. Bisexuality is rooted in duality—its name is predicated on the ‘fact’ that there are two genders: male and female. Present day’s discourse, however, has done its best at dismantling said duality, pushing the notion of gender as a social construct. What makes bisexuality a problem for mainstream culture to comprehend is the underlying, subtle reality that it ultimately caters to everyone but the straight cis-man—unfathomable for a mindset cemented in patriarchal convictions. It, with other things, then leads to a phenomenon called bi-erasure, and furthermore to bigotry at its broadest, sourced from wide-spread disregard for sexual fluidity and refusal of the concept that one doesn’t feel exclusively drawn to one thing in favour of the other.

It’s this exact type of treatment that exhibits the general populace’s insufficient degree of sensibility in dealing with matters “out of the ordinary” and why, despite it’s historic prolificacy (ancient Greek, Japanese and Roman depictions of bisexual relationships were fairly common), sexual fluidity didn’t gain mainstream momentum until the 70s, when Freddie Mercury and David Bowie emerged as two high profile beacons of the cause. Where previously bisexuality had been the product of retrospective speculation—Hollywood figures such as James Dean, Marlon Brando and Greta Garbo were ‘outed’ after their careers ended—pop music popularised bisexuality in the present—and for an audience beyond the queer underground.

That’s not to say Bowie’s take on bisexuality exactly exuded ‘Pride’—in fact, the artist explained more than once that officially coming out did him more harm than good. Still an undeniable legend in- and outside of the LGBTQ+ cosmos, Bowie—just as other people in his shoes—had difficulties with the term in question, revoking or minimising claims again and again—to the point that, to this day, biographers, fans and exes alike remain unsure wether or not he felt honestly attracted to women and men, or was merely intrigued by bisexuality on a shock value- or curiosity-level. It resembles the kind of borderline sensationalism that brought forth Madonna and Britney’s VMA kiss, vague-at-best comments by celebs in interviews and other question-worthy instances of how bisexuality has been brushed up against, but rarely embraced on a genuine level by people of public interest.

It all charts back to what is referred to as the male gaze—the filter through which we’ve been taught to consume our environment, particularly by way of media. Even the little bits and pieces one does see tapping into alternatives to classic hetero monogamy are mostly blemished by negative stereotyping and bizarrely hypersexualised scenes fresh out of frat-bro wet-dreams. Going against this grain is Desiree Akhavan’s series “The Bisexual”, in which the 35-year old actress, director and HBO’s “Girls”-alumna has managed to entertainingly and thoughtfully depict what might be be one of the first examples of how to pop culturally handle the often conflicting topic of being bisexual with care.

Aforementioned proceedings considered, execution and a heightened awareness for cause-and-effects are why a new generation of vocal youth has, across all platforms, boosted a conversation to crack open the boxes we are either placed in, or choose to place ourselves in for fear of bad resonance. More modern, more inclusive designs like pansexual—the tendency to sexually or romantically like someone in spite of biologically- or self-ascribed traits of gender or sex—are on a rise. To many, ‘queer’ is the least restrictive of all labels, indicative of liberation from the binary. In this instance, it seems as though bisexuality in its traditional sense no longer remains the most politically correct of all notions.

But that being said, we mustn’t forget: labels can do harm, but they also set free. The ability to engage in conversations like these is a privilege we’ve been afforded in the West—a privilege that’s important to remember at the time when our part of the globe celebrates Pride, while others in the LGBTQ+ community elsewhere are being imprisoned or even killed for their sexual identities. Bisexuality, and everything that has branched from it to articulate sexual fluidity, needs to be taken seriously within our own, local spaces—just as serious as every other letter in the line-up that constitutes the LGBTQ+ umbrella. Resisting to defy suppressions of any kind—even if you’re not personally vulnerable to their consequences—results in nothing. It’s only through efforts to increase visibility inside our already comparatively progressive realms that we can transport Pride’s cause to places still at unease with non-heteronormativity, and actually feel proud.

[entity9silvergen]

My Oriented Aroace Headcanons From 8 Fandoms

Oriented Aroace is an aspec identity where someone does not experience sexual or romantic attraction but experience other forms of attraction in a way that causes another nonaspec label describing sexuality to feel significant enough to have a place alongside one’s aroace identity. For more information on this term, here is the info page on the oriented aroace subreddit and here is the wiki page on it.

Headcanon is a subbranch of fanon, meaning headcanon is something generally not accepted as canon but some fans choose to believe about the original content. In the queer community, it is common to headcanon characters as queer. Sometimes it’s with good reason, sometimes it’s just because we like the characters, sometimes it’s because we see something of ourselves within the characters. 

Here are some of my oriented aroace headcanons.

1. Sai (Naruto)

This is by far my favorite aroace headcanon but I don’t talk about it much because I don’t want to support the stereotype that aromantics are heartless or that asexuals are traumatized. In Naruto Shippuden, Sai is a character who does not experience emotions after an illegal black ops organization killed his brother and brain washed him. He does, however, recover his emotions and learns to be very in touch with them. In Boruto, he is married to Ino and has a son named Inojin.

I headcanon Sai as pan-oriented aroace, possibly demialterous as well, but he experiences some degree of internalized homophobia and aphobia which leads him to pursue a romantic relationship with Ino. I don’t doubt that he loves her, he definitely does but I don’t think he loves her in the same way that she loves him. I wrote about this for Aromantic Writing Month. I believe that Sai initially started courting Ino because that was what was expected of him. Ino went along with it because she is attracted to him. At some point she probably realized Sai doesn’t quite feel the same way as her but they talked about it and continued their relationship as a allo-aspec qpr.

2. Rook Blonko (Ben 10) 

Rook Blonko is Ben’s (work) partner in Ben 10: Omniverse. He is an alien from the planet Revonnah. When we see his homeplanet, we learn that he is very attractive by Revonnahgander and all the local girls are interested in him but he is bothered by it, only showing affection for one girl named Rayona. They end up dating later in the series. A couple villains show interest in Rook as well and he is usually bothered by it or has mixed feelings with no desire for reciprocation. 

I headcanon him as hetero-angled aroace, specifically gray/ frayromantic and acespike. Gray romanticism means that someone is aromantic but can experience some kind of limited romantic attraction or experiences romantic attraction under specific circumstances. Frayromantic is essentially the opposite of demiromantic. Someone may experience romantic attraction that fades as they get to know the other person. Acespike means that someone is asexual but can sometimes experience spikes of sexual attraction. 

If you have seen the show, you may know where my thoughts are coming from. Rook mostly shows romantic interest in Rayona before they start dating. Once they’re in a relationship, their feelings seem very platonic and their relationship is much like a qpr. This may be because of their age, lack of experience, or their culture but I’d like to imagine that Rayona feels the same way as Rook and they are in a qpr.

The only other character Rook has shown interest in is Isosceles Vreedle. He is briefly attracted her during a battle but doesn’t seem to have any intent on acting on his feelings (presumably because he is in a relationship). He seems to be aware that this is out of character for him, which leads me to believe that he is acespike. 

3. Alain (Pokémon)

Alain is the star of the Mega Evolution specials and Ash’s main rival in the Kalos League. I headcanon him as gay-oriented aroace.

I don’t have much of a reason for this. Headcanons don’t necessarily need reasons but I’m still going to try to explain this one.

He never has any romantic interests in the show, probably because we don’t see much of him and his story is very focused on his Pokémon training. There are many characters who are solely focused on Pokemon training and that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re aroace but with Alain, I can’t really see him ever wanting to settle down or pursue a relationship though and he doesn’t seem like a women’s man. 

His perfect life is retiring young from a decent battle career on a Pokemon ranch where he works as a Pokemon professor, giving out starter pokemon and providing a place for trainers to send their pokemon when their parties are full. He won’t have many visitors but maybe he’ll have a close companion to keep him company and help out with any projects he’s working on.

4. Toph (Avatar: The Last Airbender/ The Legend Of Korra)

Toph is Aang’s earthbending teacher in ATLA, the founder of metalbending in the comics, and Lin and Suyin’s mother in TLOK. I headcanon her as sapphic or trixic-oriented aroace.

Sapphic and trixic are both non-exclusive terms for attraction to women but sapphic is specifically for women and trixic is for non-binary people. Canonically, Toph is a girl but she is very free spirited and independent and I feel like she wouldn’t let something like gender limit her.

In TLOK, Toph does mention that she tried to have relationships with Lin and Suyin’s fathers but it didn’t really work out. I imagine that Toph is sex favorable and likes sex as kind of a fun way to enjoy herself but does not experience sexual attraction nor does she feel a need to have regular partners. Similar goes for romance. She is romance-indifferent but does not like it much.

The lesbian Toph headcanon is a popular one. Not really sure why but Toph seems like a ladies’ woman. She likes to have her fun and she just finds women to be better companions than men in these aspects. She doesn’t get attatched easily though and she’s not really into the commitment. 

5. Korvo (Solar Opposites)

Again, I feel like this plays into a stereotype that I don’t want to support but these are my headcanons and I will do with them as I want. Korvo is an alien who is having a hard time adjusting to living on Earth. We know that his species has no biological sex and do not reproduce sexually but many of them choose genders, enjoy sexual activity, and pursue romantic relationships. I headcanon Korvo as bi-oriented aroace, possibly bi-electio aroace.

I have not seen the most recent season but in season 1, Korvo is mostly uninterested in anything outside of returning the ship. We have seen him in real no romantic contexts but he and Terry are co-parents of sorts. We also see him in a couple of sexual contexts. When he got zapped by a ray that removed his intelligence, he tried humping Terry and when he and Terry tried going to college, he remained on his side of his and Terry’s shared bed when Terry brought home sexual partners.

I don’t think Terry and Korvo are in a relationship or a qpr but am not completely opposed to the idea. My point was just that we know he isn’t repulsed by the idea of doing traditionally romantic or sexual things with someone who is masculine in nature. I think he could also appreciate what a woman brings to the table, as seen when he built a robot to fulfill the role of wife and mother in the house.

I don’t think Korvo is interested in a relationship but he does value the companionship and wouldn’t be unhappy with a partner. He may struggle to maintain a partnership but I don’t think gender would be much of a factor.

6. Todd Chavez (BoJack Horseman)

Todd is BoJack’s off-and-on best friend/ roommate. Canonically, he is asexual and heteroromantic (presumably, all we know for sure is that he is alloromantic). I headcanon him as straight-oriented aroace, specifically heteroqueerpatonic and panplatonic.

I love that Todd is canonically asexual and I appreciate that they showed an asexual character who is not aromantic. But, all of Todd’s relationships have that queerplatonic vibe. When he described the kind of relationship he wanted with Emily, it didn’t sound like a romantic relationship. What he had with Yolanda certainly wasn’t romantic. Maybe it was just the writing but Todd seemed most happy when his relationship resembled a qpr. When he was dating Maude, the lines between romance and friendship were blurry and they seemed very happy, and that included not doing traditionally romantic things like getting married.

I could also see Todd as greyromantic. For him, I feel like having a label isn’t really that big of a deal. Being able to say he was asexual was a big deal for him but he just wants to be himself and find whatever makes him happy. Sex and a traditional romantic relationship don’t really seem to be a part of that.

7. Silver Surfer (Marvel Comics)

Again, this isn’t one I talk about much because I don’t want to support the stereotype that aromantics or asexuals are inhuman or lacking emotion. Before becoming the Silver Surfer, Norrin Radd is in a relationship on his home planet and he does express interest in a few women after becoming the Silver Surfer. I headcanon him as straight-oriented aroace.

Some of it may have to do with Galactus’s interference. Maybe not. The Surfer doesn’t need sex or romance (no one does but you catch my drift) but he doesn’t really want it either. Sometimes it is portrayed from a sense of duty but we don’t really know what he’s feeling. He’s been one of my favorite characters for years so I may just be projecting but it feels right.

He can get lonely. He wants a companion but I don’t think he’d want a romantic one or even a queerplatonic partner. He’d be most happy with a friend and he’d get all the fulfillment he needs from one. A romantic partner might be a bit too much.

8. Gina Linetti (Brooklyn 99)

Gina is Jake’s childhood friend, Captain Holt’s assistant, and Boyle’s... something. I’ve seen a lot of headcanons that she is pansexual but I headcanon her as heteroflexible-oriented aroace.

Gina, like Toph, is just kind of doing her own thing. I feel like she’d be sex favorable and romance indifferent. Sex is fun, relationships are alright, she’s just living her best life. Men are nice, women are too. She’s just living life and rocking with whatever rolls her way.

When she has her daughter, she does want to settle down a bit but not with a man. She loves the kid and steps up to her new responsibility but she doesn’t let it change her. She’s still as wild and free and she doesn’t want or need anyone.

[faemytho]

I’m not really in the hazbin hotel fandom ((I love the show don’t get me wrong I’m just not in the fandom)) but I kinda wanna see what you mean? Also I figure you’re still okay with people shipping him just either the fact that people ignore that canonical he is aroace sex repulsed or use it as a “oh we just have to fix him” trope (which fuck that trope)

Same asker that admitted to not really being in the hazbin hotel fandom but liking the show- thought it over and i actually don’t know how you could do Alstser (can’t spell bare with me) without having him as aroace sex repulsed without having him look barely anything like the original- maybe apart from that fic you made a while back

-

okay so, in regards to this post i made earlier about aroace romantic/sex repulsed alastor, that was a headcanon. (i said, and i quote, its canon bc i said so, but in reality ive fooled u all it was just a headcanon i even said so in the tags)

my headcanons aside, alastor IS canonically ace, as referenced by this tweet below (and hey, canon bi character!!! we love that!!)

there is also a footnote on the HH wiki that says alastor is aromantic as well, but the footnote links to a four hour stream video, and i do not actually have the patience to comb through it to see if that's true or not (or if it even came from the mouth of vivzie)

uh, yeah. here's the link to the stream, in case anyone wanted it/was curious.

canonicities aside, lets get one thing out of the way:

i am all for ignoring canon, using fandom to do whatever you want, ect ect, all power to the fans and whatnot, do what you want and be free because its fiction

which means, yes, i am 1000% okay with people shipping alastor with whoever they want! with angel, with charlie, with husk, with vaggie, with nifty, ect ect ect, i don't care, ship what you want, be free, live your best life.

my problem, though, is this: literally nobody in this fandom knows how to write an ace character. and when they do write him as "ace", its OFFENSIVE.

i cannot COUNT the amount of alastor fics ive read where he's supposedly written as asexual (and its usually even tagged in the fic tags, "asexual character"), then ends up sexually attracted to his given partner for that fic, and when they actually go to do the deed, alastor is infantilized to, well, hell and back. and by that, i mean a few things.

he either:

doesn't understand his sudden sexual attraction and/or sexual feelings

doesn't understand what's going on during the sex scene

doesn't know the proper terms for body parts and sexual processes

is HIGHLY feminized and is categorized as "submissive" while the partner becomes the "dominant" and continues on with the sex scene

not only is that fourth one misogynistic and homophobic (an entire other can of worms about how feminine sub/masculine dom in homosexual relationships enforces toxic heteronormativity, aka, the idea that one must "be the girl" and one must "be the man"), but all four of these together are aphobic when you realize, "hey, alastor is an ace character".

off my point a little bit, but ANY relationship (gay, straight, and/or otherwise) should not be using sub/dom as a model to follow - sub/dom is a BDSM kink thing; it should NOT be the normalized sex model for ANY relationship.

there's nothing wrong with kink! but doing BDSM wrong can severely hurt/mentally damage either partner if done incorrectly. normalizing it means that so many young people don't actually understand what sub/dom actually means, and even less the consequences if done wrong.

but back to my point: asexual people get infantilized. and we get infantilized often, because people think "oh, you're not interested in sex/you've never had sex, so you must not 1) know anything about it, 2) know anything about the real world and how nitty gritty it is to survive out here"

basically, ace people get treated like children. a lot.

here is a fantastic article that explains the rampant infantilization of both aro and ace people, and why it is aphobic to do that.

i highly recommend you all read the article, because it is fantastically well written and concise. here's my favorite paragraph:

"Society conditions us to believe that a lack of romantic or sexual attraction is a transitory period. This viewpoint assumes an inevitable progression from a nonsexual to sexual state of being that marks entry into adulthood. Similarly, engaging in romantic relationships is recognized as a milestone of maturity. This stereotyping results in the infantilization of all aromantic and asexual spectra people, especially those who are entirely romance and/or sex-averse. It also incorrectly characterizes asexual people as sex-negative, even though personal sex-aversion and general sex positivity are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, the idea of “being ready” to progress from friendships to romantic and sexual relations undermines the value of platonic relationships, which are integral to our community."

i'm going to move on to one more point, because i know if i don't, i'll get SO many alastor allo-pologist authors whining and screaming about how ace people can have sex too

and yes, here's the thing: asexual people can have sex, can want to have sex, can be sex positive... but that doesn't change the fact that to be not-asexual (or allosexual, if you'd like to use proper terms), you have to be sexually attracted or experience sexual attraction - WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING A LIBIDO, AND ITS NOT SOMETHING ACE PEOPLE CAN DO/HAVE.

what ace people can have:

a libido

sex

sexual arousal

sex drive

kinks

a partner they're not necessarily sexually attracted to, but trust to have sex with them anyways

what ace people can't have (unless they're not actually ace and are instead allosexual):

sexual attraction to someone

wanting to have sex with a specific person because of this attraction (a partner, celebrity, people they find explicitly attractive)

still confused? don't be!

here's a post where i better explain the difference between sexual attraction vs sexual drive and what that means for ace people

to close this out, im going to attempt to summarize why im so pissed about this.

alastor is canonically asexual.

he may be sex negative, sex neutral, or sex positive; we don't know, but this is fandom and we're allowed to headcanon him however we wish - we can even headcanon him as not asexual!

which is great, yea, but when the ace character is the fan favorite...

people constantly and consistently write alastor as "ace".

which would be GREAT! if they ever did it correctly.

here's what i see most often. instead of headcanoning him as not asexual, they've heard something about how ace people can have sex anyways!

so for woke points, they slap their alastor ship/sex fics with the "asexual character" tag, and write alastor in one of two ways

uwu baby "ive never said a bad word in my life and i dont understand how the world works" asexual

allosexual, but call him ace anyways

both of those are aphobic. i have yet to come across ONE fic where alastor's asexuality (negative, neutral, or positive) is written, and labeled, CORRECTLY.

you know, it actually hurts MORE when he's written as "ace (actually allo)" than it does if people just headcanon him as not asexual.

alastor is a successful serial killer. he has spent decades in hell.

ALASTOR IS A SUCCESSFUL SERIAL KILLER. HE HAS SPENT DECADES IN HELL.

and you cowards are going to write him as inexperienced, ""innocent"", sexually uneducated?? i think the fuck NOT.

NOT ONLY THAT.

alastor lived through the roaring 20s. the flapper movement. the harlem renaissance. AND the sexual revolution of the 1920s. HE LIVED THROUGH ALL OF THAT. and you're going to act like he doesn't know what sex is?? we even KNOW he lived through all that because he says it himself, "i havent been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929", and 1929 was the end of all those movements and the beginning of the great depression - and then alastor died in 1933 after living a successful serial killer life in louisiana.

tell me again, why wouldn't alastor know what sex is or how it works? and if you can't, THEN STOP WRITING HIM LIKE THAT.

please please PLEASE educate yourself before you write an asexual character. ESPECIALLY if you're going to write them with a libido, and actually ACTING on that libido.

thank you.

sincerely, an exhausted sex positive asexual.

[thisiskatsblog]

Lgbt Larries weren’t driven out Kat, they were driven to Harry. It’s still happening. You asked what’s happened to Larries since GBA. We stopped questioning once solo Harry launched and especially when it became clear Louis was paying the price. He still is but Larries don’t care about anything but Larry which means they can’t afford to back RL Louis. Now you’re afraid to look anything in the eye because it’s going to hurt. That’s what’s happened to Larries. It’s hard remembering the glory days.

- How did that video drive any LGBTQ+ Larry to Harry I wonder... ? I mean, I agree they deliberately allowed some “LBGT” mist to hang over Harry but the Larries? No way. All these fucking Xander anons tell a different story. What they did is try to make us believe they broke up and dangle a rainbow carrot - but anyone who didn’t buy the breakup? “Believe the breakup! Harry was with Xander/Camille/is bi”; “do you love LGBTQ+? what are you fucking doing with Louis he doesn’t support LGBTQ+ he’s a homophobe” - yes I have been subject to all of this, but it’s deliberately NOT accepting Larries. Harry is still closeted, allowed to look bi, nonbinary, but not allowed to look gay, or be seen to be with Louis.  And I have also gotten loads of of “you should hate Harry for what he’s done to Louis”, “you’re not really supporting Louis if you still love Harry”. Again, saying that you are only really supportive of “RL Louis” as you say, if you don’t buy Larry anymore. People are being divided, Larries are being deligitimized, and driven out. Something with the Larry thing is very threatening to someone. It’s try make them believe they were wrong, if that doesn’t work divide, but in any case do everything you can to conquer. And it didn’t work, because, again, as I see it, Louis’ fandom is full of people who are still convinced that Louis and Harry are together. 

- I didn’t ask what happened to Larries since GBA - that’s a projection of your thoughts. I was literally asking “what the fuck happened to us in fall 2014?”. I don’t consider GBA the glory days, I knew it was a plant and it felt like one big mindfuck. Hence the question: “what the fuck was that?”. I am complaining of the mindfucking tactics that were used at that specific time, not of the current state of the fandom - even if I agree that that also leaves things to be desired, and it’s still a mindfuck.  

- I have a feeling when you say “we”, you don’t really mean “we” or to include yourself in that... , which is clear as you quickly move to “you” where you start to make accusations. 

- It’s clear that there are strong dividing forces at work in the fandom, but honestly, anon, you are making yourself part of them by insisting that it’s black or white, Louis or Harry, and when you believe they are still together it’s really Harry and not really Louis, not RL Louis. Your underlying assumption is that Harry is to blame for all the difficulties Louis is facing, and I simply don’t see why that would be true. 

I am very, very strongly convinced they are still together - I simply don’t know when they would have broken up.

I am also very strongly convinced that Louis had made his choices to the best of his knowledge and ability, and I support him in these choices

I am further absolutely adamant that there are plenty of Larries who support Louis from the bottom of their hearts. Who see his challenges, who see what Syco’s hold over 1D has cost him, and who will support him whatever it takes.

They simply don’t blame Harry for any of this. 

I am really not too blind to see that Harry is getting more support, that Harry was lined up as the solo star ever since 1D times, that Harry’s rainbowfriendly marketing rode on the coattails of Rainbow Direction, while Louis was actually the first to support that, and got harshly admonished for doing so in the end. 

Is that fair? Fuck no. 

Is that Harry’s fault? I don’t think so. 

The power is, and always was, with the label, and the management. We do not know the limited choices they had. Harry is and never was in a position to “give” Louis a record contract on the exact same terms as his own. 

I trust that they negotiated the best deal for both of them that they could. And that this deal is shittier for Louis than it is for Harry probably has to do with a large number of things, including marketability, where record execs clearly believe more in Harry, and also - painful to look in the eye but it needs to be said - past choices. When Louis sings “I’m sorry that I gave into the pressure” I believe he means it - he is seriously not the kind to apologize if it’s not sincere. That said, the pressure is the thing that’s wrong about all this, they shouldn’t have put that pressure on them when they were so young,  and I have to say I was very relieved to know he says that too, meaning he knows not to blame himself even if he apologizes - cause none of this is his fault. And so that is what I think Louis’ life and choices are: being given an unfair set of options, with which he is doing the best he can. And, admirably, he is not blaming Harry for being offered better options. 

A story from my personal life anon. I am a smart kid, I studied hard, I did everything I needed to, and I wrote a PhD. My brother is also smart, he also studied hard, he did everything he needed to and wrote a PhD. My brother is a professor. And I am a woman, and I am not. Does that make me hate my brother? No. Do I think my brother should not have taken that position? Fuck no. Because at every step of the way, he recognized that he had privilege that I didn’t have. He knows me. He knows my talents. And he could see it wasn’t fair. If I am mentally healthy today, it’s because he always validated and supported me. His support and his belief in me helped me “let go” of my dream to make it in academia. If we had been in the same field or he could have done anything, he would have. But he was not in such a position. All of his PhD students are women, and he fights for them and their options. He does what he can with the privilege he knows he has.

I am not saying Louis needs to let go of his dreams. The opposite. He was given a shot, and he is not throwing it away, and when I see him taking it, it makes me very very happy. 

I am saying that, yes, I know from experience, it can be incredibly bitter, and painful to see someone you grew up with, who you consider your equal, who considers you their equal, unfairly being given chances while you are being slandered and nullified. Trust me, my experience was horrendous and the person who barred me from academia comparable to the likes of Simon Cowell. If I had two silver bullets... well I wouldn’t waste them on these two irrelevant nobodies, Trump and Putin (or that Chinese guy) are really the bigger problems here, the two others can both go and die as people no one will remember for anything of consequence. 

But back to my point: if you really love that person, it will be a bitter pill to swallow, but you will not hate them for it. If they love you, they will support you, and that in itself will validate you, and you will support them, and you will make them aware, and they will use their position to the best of their ability. I am confident that Harry supports Louis to the best of his ability, and I think that people who see that differently, may, perhaps, be overestimating his power, and/or overestimating their knowledge about what happened behind the scenes. 

All of that said, back to the video: I am also confident that Harry wants to support women and his LGBTQ+ fans in particular-  what he did with that video yesterday was NOT revolutionary, and was really not using his position to the best of his ability to empower any woman here, wlw or other . Everyone has blind spots, and he hit one there - even if, overall, I am still confident he wants to support women, and his LGBTQ+ fans, and that, therefore, we can expect better of him in the future. 

Sometimes things are black & white - but a lot of the time they are grey. You can love two people at the same time, even if they have different and sometimes conflicting interests. Two people who have different and sometimes conflicting interests can still love eachother and work through that and live with that in some way. One person can do things that conflict with other things they do or stand for, and that doesn’t mean they are a bad person. Living with that “greyness”, with that “conflict”, is a great challenge, but it’s a good thing to learn to do, and one of the reasons why I admire Louis so much, is for his ability to be so genuine,  to connect with his audience, to come across as very authentic, despite all the conflict that’s been created between who  he is and his values, and his public image, and despite the conflict between the adversities in his life, and what his career demands. I hope we can all take that as an example. 

[fallintosanity]

Since it's pride month, can I ask you what your headcanons are for everyones orientation in Providence? It's not something I can really see coming up in-story, but I'm curious nonetheless. :3

Hoo boy, anon, my answer to this is probably a lot more complex and in-depth than you were expecting, so BUCKLE UP Y’ALL LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN SOLDIER

(Note: I’m only going to talk about the original Compilation material for this, since that’s what TFA was written from and that’s what I’m writing Providence from.

Also all of my headcanons are colored by the fact that I am hella aro/ace myself so all flavors of allo are ??? to me)  

First off, major credit to @ageofzero​, who got me started down this headcanon path. The short version of their original headcanon is that SOLDIERs lose their sex drives due to the mako treatments, Jenova cells, and intense physical training regimen. After all, mako poisoning is a known Thing, and Jenova is a bizarre alien with no known gender (the original Japanese game never refers to her with any gender, and it’s strongly implied that her commonly-known feminine form is a shape she adopted to get close to the Cetra. Sephiroth only calls her “Mother” because Hojo lied to him that Jenova was his mother). 

I find this idea fascinating, and think it makes a lot of sense. Of the SOLDIERs we meet, only Zack seems to have any interest in forming romantic bonds with anyone, and even his relationship with Aerith is remarkably chaste. It’s impossible to know whether this is due to an actual intent to depict a chaste romantic relationship, needing to keep the games at a family-friendly rating, cultural differences between Japan and America in terms of how romantic and sexual affection are shown (especially in the 90s), the limitations of the game engine in terms of having the characters physically interact, or some combination of the above, but the result is that the canon we are shown does not include anything approaching a sexual relationship between two characters.*

Given all that, and given the unsettling implications you find if you so much as scratch the surface of ShinRa’s human experimentation**, I think it’s eminently reasonable to believe that however they might have started life, SOLDIERs no longer have sex drives or sexual desire. Which is all an incredibly long-winded way of saying, I headcanon all the SOLDIERs as some flavor of asexual: 

Sephiroth: Extremely aro/ace. I’ve talked before about how I think he sees people and relationships differently than humans do, and that extends to romance and sex. I’m not even sure “aro/ace” is the right label for him under those circumstances, but it’s close enough. 

Genesis: Ace, bi- or homoromantic. TFA and its non-canon side pieces suggest Genesis is romantically interested in Cloud (which I’ve been carrying into Providence), and we have no idea if he’s ever been romantically interested in anyone else. 

Angeal: Ace, probably either aro or heteroromantic. Like Genesis, we never see him express romantic interest in anyone, but it’s possible he does off-screen. 

Zack: Probably would have been bi or poly if he wasn’t in SOLDIER; as is, ace and bi- or poly-romantic. (but really only has eyes for Aerith) 

Kunsel: Ace, maybe demi-romantic? He’s eighteen in Providence and has been focused on rising through the SOLDIER ranks; I don’t think he himself knows for sure. 

Cloud: A bit of an outlier because I headcanon that he would have been aro/ace even if he hadn’t gotten the mako/Jenova treatments. At no point in any of the original game or greater Compilation does he express romantic or sexual interest in anyone. He cares deeply about Aerith and Tifa both, but at no point says or does anything to suggest that it’s romantic or sexual in nature. Tifa occasionally says things which imply she sees her relationship with Cloud that way, but he never responds in kind. At best, his childhood interest in her could be a bit of a puppy crush, but that doesn’t rule out aro/ace Cloud since so many aro/aces do experience puppy crushes or squishes that aren’t sexual/romantic in nature. Or it could be as simple as, Tifa was the popular kid and Cloud was the outcast kid, and he was interested in her because if she was friends with him, then maybe he wouldn’t be an outcast anymore. (I lied, I’m going to talk about the Remake for a second because I’m intrigued that it appears to have doubled down hard on ace!Cloud, to the point where a lot of people have said “I don’t normally have ace headcanons, but Remake!Cloud is ace”. He’s either completely oblivious to, or visibly uncomfortable with, half the cast wanting to get into his pants. Even when Aerith warns him not to fall in love with her, his objection is to her telling him what to do yet again rather than anything about his actual feelings.) 

Noctis: I realized as I was writing this post that I also headcanon Noctis as ace and probably aro- or demi-romantic. Like Cloud, we never see him express romantic or sexual interest toward anyone, which is notable given that he’s supposed to be marrying Lunafreya. He certainly seems to care deeply about her, but - like Cloud and Tifa/Aerith - his affection can be easily read as a close childhood friendship, and depending on which answers you give in the notebook choices, can canonically be brusque and uninterested. He’s also visibly uncomfortable with Gladio’s flirting (with other people) and Iris’s flirting (with Noct himself). Since we do see Gladio flirting, pretty brazenly sometimes, and we hear Prompto chatter about his crush on Cindy, Noct’s silence on the matter is telling. (He also throws an interesting wrench into the works around the SOLDIER castration headcanon, since he did get the treatments but they affected him very differently than everyone else. But I can’t say too much else there without venturing into spoiler territory.) 

So anyway hi, my name is Sanity and I have a lot of ace headcanons. ^_^;

* The closest we get is the scene near the end of the original game, with Cloud and Tifa under the Highwind before the final battle. The scene itself is, again, remarkably chaste. Depending on your Affection value with Tifa, it’s not even all that romantic; it reads mostly like two friends who have been through a lot together. The few lines that do shade toward romance all come from Tifa herself, not Cloud. Also, what Tifa says the next morning on the Highwind changes depending on whether or not your Affection value is high enough; if yes, she asks the others, “Were you watching?” and if no, she asks, “Were you listening?”. So it’s possible to get a canon path which suggests Tifa and Cloud did something she didn’t want the others watching, but 1) that still leaves a lot of room for interpretation, and 2) it’s equally possible to get a canon path which suggests nothing happened at all.

** I’m just going to quote @ageofzero​ here because they put it best: “It might've been an unintended side-effect, of course, but idk how anyone could've thought 'let's put Mako inside human beings' when everyone knows what a powerful burning energy source Mako is and what the hell that might do inside a human when people have likely already suffered Mako poisoning from building Midgar/the reactors. And also considering that Mako is a 'refining' of Lifestream that basically strips away all the benefits of Life within it, there's no way it's not some kind of reproduction dampening substance, among many other negative consequences. [...] ESPECIALLY since a lot of SOLDIERs probably start out in their teen years (Zack, and Cloud's attempt). They're still developing humans, and who knows what effects Mako has on someone who's still passing through adolescence???? Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth are all even worse off because they were babies when they were made prototype experiments for the SOLDIER method. [...] I can't imagine mako doing anything but turning the body into a weird toxic mess even if it is controlled and regulated so they don't suffer the loss of their mind. And what the hell does it do to SOLDIERs on a DNA level?? With how much mako (and Jenova cells) there is in their body, it could turn body fluids into burning/glowing/toxic substances. All body fluids. Or at the very least make it Not Good to be exposed to said fluids, if they're not directly toxic/mako-infused. It might very well be the brain turning off reproductive desires bc SOLDIERs are a biological dead end by the time they're strong enough to be considered SOLDIER. What a chilling concept (also hello I like thinking about weird biology).”

[cabbagebender]

Keith? Oh and Hunk?

Ahh, thanks for the ask! From this headcanon ask game:

Hunk

Age:

Supplementary canon: 17 - 18 in Seasons 1-6, 18-19 in Seasons 7-8.

Headcanon: I take the birthdays and ages in the Paladin Handbook as if the book were written on January 1st, so Hunk is only three months younger than pre-space whale Keith, and he's closer in age to (psw) Keith than to Lance.

Ethnicity:

Supplementary Canon: Half Samoan, half African-American.

Headcanon: Samoan on his dad's side, African-American on his mom's. Yes, I have his entire family figured out. They were relatively major characters in a fic I was hyperfixated on writing for a few months.

Gender:

Sure!

Which is to say, I've entertained pretty much every gender headcanon there is for Hunk except cis girl.

Mental Health:

Anxiety

I've considered Hunk as having ADHD before

Physical Health:

I saw a colorblind headcanon for Hunk once and like, I can get behind that?

Also, I think it'd be tragically amusing if Hunk had a food allergy that piSSED him oFF because it keeps getting in the way of him trying dishes he really wants to try

Orientation:

Bi/Pan (I go back and forth on which label I use for him, but the sentiment remains the same – all genders)

Most of the time I headcanon him as someone who, well, doesn't necessarily actively identify as arospec, but acknowledges that he has NO idea how to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction. He just? loves people? Once the other person is like "this is what our relationship is" it's a lot easier for him to then develop his feelings along the appropriate track, but like, for example, if Pidge, his best friend who he has a 100% platonic relationship with and has never wanted anything different from, was suddenly like "hey, i wanna date you!" he probably would be like "yeah, okay, sure, we can try that!" (he might be confused because Pidge hasn't historically been romantically attracted to people. But if he was convinced she was serious). And that's not because he's secretly harboring romantic feelings for her, he's just sort of down for developing romantic feelings for any of his most special people at a moment's notice – OR for nurturing a hearty platonic love that can never be broken.

I have written him as more alloromantic, though – but he always values his friendships as much as his romances.

Poly Hunk poly Hunk poly Hunk P O L Y

(The Hunk-and-Allura polycule is one of my favorite little brain things, borne out of the fact that I keep shipping those two with the same people)

Religious Background and Current Beliefs

Protestant Christian to both of the above, of the "be generous and love thy neighbour" variety

Keith

Age:

Supplementary canon: 18-19 in S1-5, 21 in S6-8

Ethnicity:

Half Korean-American on his human side.

(In human!AUs, I have him as half Korean-American, half-English-American. The biggest empire in recent history is the British Empire, so I usually make humanized Galra characters English for parallel reasons)

(which is funky bc I've done a LOT of human AUs, which means in my head I sort of think of Keith as mixed white/Korean but in the actual show he's none white)

Gender:

Agender

The hair. It's been growing out for years. It's Keith's (lack of) gender affirmation project.

Sometimes I have them eventually going by K and using they/them pronouns.

Mental Health:

ADHD

Autism

Prosopagnosia (face blindness)

Desperate, desperate need of a therapist

Physical Health:

Lots of fun funky alien biology side effects that made his doctors twitch when he was a supposedly all-human kid:

I've seen headcanons that Keith can't digest vegetables because of his Galra heritage. I'm not sure if I hold that headcanon 100%, because he is still half-human, but I definitely agree that Galra are carnivores (look at the teeth) and Keith is probably malnourished. Even his human parent is big and buff and Keith... is not. If he'd been raised by his dad throughout his childhood maybe he would have grown up beefier and taller (since I'm sure his dad probably at least somewhat understood the Galra diet from having lived with Krolia), buuut his dad died when Keith was prepubescent and then he was in the foster system and... yeah he probably wasn't getting the optimized diet for his particular interspecies genetic makeup.

I like to think that he grew up with a couple of Very Strange Health Conditions that turned out to just be Galra things, like UV vision and two sets of baby teeth and ridges of bone protruding from.his scalp like Acxa has (hello, big poofy bangs to hide that).

Also, any time he had to do a blood test or a urine test at the doctor's it just... did not provide anything resembling useful information.

Doctor: I... don't know what I'm looking at here exactly but we've run the test multiple times and this seems to be your actual blood? How do you have this much iron in your blood?? Maybe eat... less meat?

Hunk, looking at the same results years later, having adjusted for Galra heritage: Keith, you're anemic.

Keith: are you KIDDING me

(see: Keith is malnourished)

Like most real life interspecies hybrids, I think Keith is probably incapable of natural reproduction.

Orientation:

Asexual

Aromantic

But like also sometimes he feels intense things for people that are different from his usual platonic bonds, but the word romantic is all lovey dovey to him and he Can't attach that to the complicated place his feelings are coming from so ??? Is he actually aro?? or does he just have Stuff way too deeply seated to ever process his romantic attraction in a clear and conventional way?? does it make a difference at this point, if the word aro is what's comfortable for him? aka, stuff keith ponders alone in his room at 2:30 in the morning

(If you want my specific headcanons about Who "people" are, it's Allura and Hunk – his hella strong but also kinda messy emotional connection with Allura, where he's just like "I know this is different from every other bond in my life but Please do not ask me to explain idk the Fuck is going on," and the fact that every time Hunk grabs him or picks him up or otherwise manhandles him his brain just shuts down like "oh this is good please continue to make hold" when it SHOULD be going into fight mode the way it would for anyone else)

Religious Background and Current Beliefs

I honestly don't know what Keith's background would be, but I think he's sort of... generally agnostic? Like, he believes in a higher power but not necessarily a sentient one or something to be worshipped. It's more like a big spiritual pulse through the multiverse that connects everything and everyone – fate, but with free will. It's what he taps into to access his nigh psychic abilities, which I've talked about before but maybe not since I made this sideblog so let me know if you want me to make a post about that.

[hxhhasmysoul]

it amazes me that the group that claims moral and intellectual superiority in the fandom uses an acronym like mi/lf so flippantly.

it’s an acronym that comes from p/o/rn. it’s misogynistic and degrading. it’s feeds into at least two deeply sexist stereotypes and tropes. it’s at the cross section of: 1) many men viewing women attractive and fu/ckable only when they are very young (under 25) and all older women needing to be wives and mothers therefore nurturing and respectable and 2) judging a woman’s value solely based on her fu/ckablity which is deeply objectifying.

the first one polices woman’s role in society by age, it tries to enforce limitations of what a woman can be. it also allows to judge and disrespect a woman if she doesn’t fulfill these societal expectations. the second one is obvious, it’s dehumanising, it only sees a woman as someone to fulfill someone’s (usually a man’s) s/ex/ual desire. she’s worthless outside of that.

and the mi/l/f stereotype feeds off of these two things. the woman who is a m/i/lf is older so she is a mother, ergo she fulfills her societal role. but she can still be perceived as attractive and therefore fu/ckable so still useful to the man’s se/x/ual needs. and the titillation here comes from breaking the social taboo, the pure nurturing mother becomes defiled.

a side note mil/f and dil/f are terms often used in in/ce/st p/or/n, i thought in/ce/st is a no no, but apparently not really. it’s all posturing as always, or the analysis and understanding goes just skin deep. probably both. i’m sure the people who use will say that it’s a joke, they are being ironic or something. they are being as ironic as pewdiepie was when he asked people to write “kill all Jews”. this is not how irony works, you’re not reclaiming the term or using it as empowering. you’re just feeding into misogynistic stereotypes. you’re literally at the intellectual level of a far-right youtuber, congratulations .

the fact that in the hxh fandom the main character called a mil/f is mito is honestly upsetting. on several levels. she’s under 25, in no way she should be considered old, and the term is supposed to denote older women. this pushes the bar of acceptable youth and desirability of women even further down. when is a woman considered socially acceptably young and desirable? in her teens? this is just creepy.

also in mito’s case her motherhood is detrimental to her life. it robs her of her childhood, and of prospects of having her own adventures which, as her scenes with ging show, she clearly craves. those scenes already indicate the sexism behind the setup of whale island. ging can easily leave, he’s a boy he can have adventures. mito is a girl, she seems bound to the island by tradition and family responsibility. and then gon appears and ties her hands further. mito is already portrayed in a pretty sexist and unimaginative way by togashi, she is all the time doing house work or thinking about her child, nothing about her indicates that she has hobbies or even a job. a perfect docile house wife. 

and to be absolutely clear. i don’t think mito should be treated as a pure s/e/xless being. it’s sexist to view her like that, it feeds into all the stereotypes togashi boxed her into. so i’m not opposed to seeing mito in a s/e/xual context. people can hc her as whatever they want asexual/lesbian/bi/pan/straight. someone who desires s/e/x or someone who doesn’t. but she should be an agent in this, not an object. and the m/il/f label objectifies her. it does not give her agency in her own s/ex/uality. it just says: “i the fan would tap that”.

tl:dr  whenever i see this acronym used with mito it really makes me feel uneasy. but also breaks the irony-meter tbh.

_____

a little disclaimer on my stand on po/r/n, because i don’t want this post to me misconstrued or willfully misinterpreted, though i’m sure those who have the desire to do so will mange to misinterpret it anyway. i’m not against the idea of p/o/rn. i think it’s ok for consenting adults to film or otherwise share their se/x/u/al activities and fantasies with other consenting adults. it’s ok for them to make money off it. though the p/or/n industry as it exists rn is in no way ok. it’s extremely exploitative, even torturous to its performers usually women and lgbtq people. people who do s/e/x work deserve better. that’s why using a term produced by this industry does not sit right with me.

i know that there are some niche groups of women and lgbtq people who produce porn outside the mainstream industry, who do it respectfully towards each other and safely, also not feeding into the male gaze and cishet norms. i respect and support their efforts. but these projects exist on the fringes and i do not see them as a part of the general p/o/r/n industry.

[eightmakar]

English Boy | One

(College!Harrison Osterfield AU)

Teaser

Summary: Thank you college for hooking you up with a tutor!

Word count: 1.8k

(A/n: hi guys!!! this is my new Harrison story, give me feedback and enjoy!!!!)

“Venti iced coffee for (Y/N)!”

You grabbed your coffee and sat down in the corner booth of Starbucks. It was just before noon, and you were waiting for this Harrison guy to help you with your English lit. You were three weeks into the semester and already struggling. You had a paper to write on Macbeth, but had no idea what to do.

You looked down to see a text from Harrison.

Hey, I’m here! Where are you?

Corner booth with the laptop!

You looked up and saw a gorgeous boy standing in the line, looking down at his phone and then up around the restaurant. He made eye contact with you, saw your laptop, smiled, and waved. You smiled and waved back, but your heart was pounding.

He was tall and thin, his dirty blonde hair messily styled. All you could do was stare as he got a coffee and walked over to your table.

“(Y/N)?” He asked cautiously.

You stood up. “The one and only!” His British drawl sounded musical when it spoke your name.

“Nice to meet ya! I guess you’re gonna save my math grade, huh?” he joked as he sat down.

You felt your hands start to shake, but tried to keep them as still as possible. “If you save my English grade!”

He pulled out a binder neatly labeled “Calculus” and placed it on the table. “So what are you working on?”

“I have to write an essay about stupid Shakespeare,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

Harrison laughed. You decided right then and there you needed to hear that musical sound every day for the rest of your life.

“Shakespeare isn’t that bad! Which play is it?”

You looked him in the eyes. “Shakespeare is AWFUL. I read a few of his things in high school, like Romeo and Juliet and Much Ado About Nothing and I hated them. This essay is on Macbeth.”

“What did you hate about them? Macbeth is my favorite of his plays.”

“Romeo and Juliet didn’t think about the ramifications of their actions. They didn’t think, “Oh, maybe we shouldn’t trust this weird Friar guy who is willing to fake our deaths to save our creepy 17-year-old-in-love-with-a-13-year-old romance.” They didn’t think about anything. All they cared about was being in love.”

“So what does that say about life? Does that say anything about young love?” Harrison had a small smile on his face.

“It shows that young love clouds the judgement of people involved in it,” You continued to rant.

“Exactly. That’s exactly what he wanted to demonstrate. You hit the nail on the head.”

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

His smile widened. “I know you were just ranting about how dumb it was, but that’s exactly the point. That’s what Shakespeare wanted to show the world about young love. How fast it comes and goes. At the beginning of the play, Romeo is fawning over Rosaline, remember? He tells his buddies how beautiful she is and how he can’t live without her and all that shit. But as soon as he sees Juliet, he immediately attaches himself to her and forgets all about Rosaline. He tries to woo Juliet instead of Rosaline. Shakespeare did that to demonstrate how stupid it was that teenagers jumped from love to love without any reason or real attachment.”

You thought about it for a second. Had you actually gotten the point of the play? “That’s just a coincidence,” you said.

“Let’s test that, then. What did you not like about Macbeth? What did you like about Macbeth? Is there a particular character you liked or felt bad for?” Harrison’s smile kept getting bigger. His eyes were the most striking color of blue you’d ever seen. The way he looked at you with them made your face feel hot.

“Well, I love Lady Macbeth.”

“Why do you love her?”

“I love her because she’s tragic. She tried everything to escape the role that her society had forced her into, and she hated it. She wished she’d been a man so what she wanted to do was acceptable.”

“Are you sure you need my help?” Harrison asked. “You really have this all down already.”

Your eyes widened. You didn’t want him to leave. “I didn’t know I had it down. Please stay, it’s helpful to talk about it.”

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere until I understand derivatives, love,” he said with a laugh. You melted. You wanted him to call you love again and again and again.

“Well what are you confused on?” You asked, closing your laptop and moving to look at his notes.

“Go over the basics. The power rule, whatever that means.” He took out his pencil, ready to take notes, looking at you hopefully.

“The power rule? Okay, so, let’s say you have a function, something easy, like y = 2x. What does the 2 represent?”

He thought for a moment. “It’s the slope of the line.”

“Exactly! And what’s the derivative of y = 2x?”

“Um, it’s just 2 isn’t it?”

“Yes it is! So one of the things I like to do is visualize what the graph of a function would look like before I ever try to mess with derivatives, because it’ll actually give you a picture of what you’re trying to go for. If you graphed y = 2, it’s a horizontal line, right? So you know the graph of y = 2x has to be something really simple with a slope of 0 and no variability in the Y-axis. In the same way, if you had a function that was crazy and you got a simple derivative, you’d know that was wrong, because the slope of the line definitely wouldn’t be just a simple number.”

You looked up at Harrison. He was lost, you could see it in his eyes.

“No offense,” he started, “but I have actually no idea what the fuck you just said.”

You laughed. “I get that a lot! Don’t worry about it! Here, let me try again!”

You pulled out a sheet of paper to show him what you meant. You drew a few graphs and re-explained in a different way about the relationship between slope and derivative and how you could use it to kind of cheat the system.

“That makes total sense now!” Harrison exclaimed. “So how does that relate to the power rule?”

You smiled. “So the power rule is the easiest way to find derivatives. Let’s say you have the function y = x^3. The power rule says that you can take the exponent, which is 3 in this case, and multiply it by whatever’s in front of the x, which is 1 in this case. Then, you subtract one from the original exponent. So you get 3x^2 as the derivative. Right?”

Harrison furrowed his brow in concentration, biting the inside of his cheek. He looked like a painting, all vibrant colors and soft brush strokes paired with hard lines.

“Right,” he said. You could see the gears turning in his head.

“And then if you graph that, you get a parabola, because it’s an x^2 function, right?”

“Right! Okay, lemme try to explain it to you,” he said, holding up his hands and looking at you. “You have a variable. It has some number as a coefficient in front of it. It has some exponent. To find the derivative, You multiple the exponent by the coefficient, which becomes the new coefficient, and then you subtract one from the exponent which becomes your new exponent?”

“Perfect!” You cheered, clapping your hands.

Instead of cheering with you, Harrison’s brow stayed furrowed. He was thinking about something.

“So what if the coefficient is negative? If you just have an x that’s x-to-the-one, so it’s just X. And anything to the zero power is itself. So the derivative of something like 5x is 5. What’s the derivative of a number?”

You smiled. “Keep talking. You’ve almost got the whole number thing.”

He thought some more. “Would it—would it, no, it can’t be, but, uh, would it just be zero? Since there’s no more exponents?”

“You got it!” You said excitedly. Harrison smiled triumphantly. “If the coefficient is negative, you do the same thing; you multiple the coefficient and the exponent, then subtract. Like 5x^-2. The derivative is -10x^-3.”

Harrison nodded with a smile. “Can you just take over teaching my class, please? You explain it so well. You really love math, don’t you?”

You shrugged. “Numbers make sense. They follow rules and you don’t have to coax anything out of them. You plug them into formulas and presto! You’ve got an answer. None of the read into it bullshit like you have in literature. No offense,” you finished quickly.

He laughed. “None taken. But aren’t there exceptions to the rules sometimes?”

“There can be. But they’re easy to catch, and they have proof and examples you can use to find them. No finagling. No thinking about it.”

You bit your lip, nervous about how he would respond. A lot of people thought you were ridiculous for your love of numbers and math, but you didn’t care. You hoped Harrison wouldn’t be one of those people.

“Can you help me understand?” He said softly.

“Hmm?” You barely heard him.

“Can you show me what you mean? I want to understand and not read into everything. I try to approach everything like a piece of literature, with information and meaning needing to be gleaned from it. But with math, you just needed to know what formula to use. I want to think like you.”

Your hands started to shake again. He wanted to think like you, to understand how your brain worked. That had to mean something, right? Were you starting to think like him now?

“I’ll help show you what I mean if you show me what you mean. I want to be able to read into thinks and not just take everything at face value like everything is a math problem.”

He smiled softly. “What a pair we make, huh?” he said with a light chuckle. “Both wanting to understand how the other person thinks. This is going to be fun, isn’t it?”

Tags:

@upsidedownparker @ibtomholland @beautiful-holland @idektomholland @whyistomholland @whyispeterparker @notimeforthemessenger @ineedsomemoremetime @unicorngummybears @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @inspiredbynewt @bi-writes

[bigskydreaming]

You will never catch me saying a single positive thing about some ‘progressive move’ Marvel editorial makes in an X-Men comic until every single decision maker of the past ten years is out of those offices.

Individual writers, yes. Editorial, the ones handing down the creative mandates? Hell no.

This means Northstar and Kyle’s wedding, Bobby, Rictor and Shatterstar’s outings, Storm’s solo series, etc, etc.

Because Marvel editorial does not actually give a single fuck about any of the messages embodied by the X-Franchise, and spent the last ten years proving it.

Marvel as a company was happy to profit off the X-Men movies after they sold the rights to save themselves from bankruptcy. But from the second Iron Man became a success and the movies they churned out featuring characters they still had all the rights to started making profits they got to keep fully, they actively torpedoed the X-Men franchise both in the comics and outside of them. Because now the X-Men were technically competition, at least in the arena of movies, which is where the real money was being made.

Like, it seriously pains me to remember how HUGE X-Men fandom was in the eighties, nineties and early 2000s. Across the comics, various cartoons and the movies, X-Men was one of THE biggest fandoms, back when the fandom juggernauts of today like SPN, HP and the like were still wee baby fandoms. 

And Marvel actively, deliberately killed it. Because they didn’t want people focusing on X-Men characters and reading X-Men stories and buying X-Men action figures instead of Avengers ones. It’s why they made no effort to resolve the issues blocking Wolverine & the X-Men from getting a second season. Even though the first season got ratings that more than justified a followup that would be guaranteed to be profitable for them. And why there hasn’t been another X-Men cartoon since. Even though Marvel always held the rights to make more cartoons while Fox held the movie rights.

It’s why Marvel editorial set out to do House of M and Decimation...those storylines aimed at essentially ending the possibility of new mutant characters were created specifically to do that. They literally did not want new mutant characters that might end up being breakout hits that fans wanted more of in place of more Iron Man, Captain America or Avengers-related properties like Young Avengers. Quesada, the EIC at the time, said it was because writers were getting too lazy with their origin stories as long as they had the concept of mutants to fall back on. All they had to do with a new character was say ‘oh they’re a mutant’ instead of coming up with a unique angle for where they got their powers.

Except then Marvel turned around and reconfigured Inhumans into the new mutants, tweaking their decades old concept to make it so suddenly there was no limit to how many new Inhumans could be created, unlike the limit they’d imposed on new mutant characters. And suddenly you had dozens of new characters with electricity powers and flight and super strength and shapeshifting and who looked no different in any meaningful way from any new mutant character introduced ten, fifteen years prior...except now, all of those dozens of new characters ‘unique angle for where they got their powers’ was oh, they’re Inhumans instead of oh they’re mutants. 

And it wasn’t even like Marvel made Inhumans the new mutants because they had active, important plans to incorporate their concept into their live action universe....again, it LITERALLY was done simply to make the X-Men franchise less necessary. They pushed the Inhumans movie back year by year by year until finally scrapping it altogether, and put barely any effort into the TV show they made of it instead. The only evidence of Inhumans in the MCU is still just in Agents of SHIELD, the show they barely do any promo for and honestly don’t care all that much about. The Inhumans’ sole purpose over the past ten years has basically just been to be an alternative to mutants, should anyone want one....not even BECAUSE the MCU actually wanted one.

And then you had shitty events like Avengers vs X-Men where it was never in question that it was going to be at the X-Franchise’s expense. And in the aftermath of that, they claimed to be making a big push to incorporate the X-Men more into the Marvel universe, do stories showing that the other heroes cared about mutant issues.....all by folding the X-Men into Avengers titles. Books like Uncanny Avengers were launched, with X-Men on lineups with Avengers and calling themselves Avengers....but no new X-books were launched with Avengers in their stories. Because that was never the point. The point was that it basically got X-readers who didn’t give a shit about Avengers comics to pick up Avenger titles in order to read about Storm and Rogue and other favorites....without marketing having to acknowledge the X-brand label in any actual way. Literally just to use X-characters to sell Avengers books, without actually doing anything for the X-franchise.

Not to mention the way the X-franchise’s direction has dramatically shifted every one, two years over the past decade, with no clear oversight or shepherding of it....because it basically became the place for writers to do whatever the hell they wanted, because Marvel as a company DID NOT CARE what happened with the X-books. All the terribly thought out storylines to appear in X-titles of the last decade happened because pretty much any pet project a writer Marvel valued wanted to try out got the green light for them to do in the X-books, because they didn’t have anything they wanted out of the X-brand, other than for it to not siphon fans away from their preferred properties. So you had things going one way one year and then pull a complete 180 the next year when a hot new writer at Marvel wanted to do something completely different. 

Not to mention the way Marvel’s consistently funneled their low-selling writers into writing X-books, except for when high profile writers wanted on an X-title. The X-books became a testing ground for new and unproven writers, which occasionally did result in some good stories, yes, but I don’t really think Marvel deserves props for the efforts of those writers when they only got to do those stories because Marvel didn’t actually care. 

And the most obnoxious thing about all of this is....they were still making money off the X-Men the whole time. From their comics, from repeated viewings of their older cartoons, from toy sales, etc. The X-Men have continued to turn a profit for Marvel even as Marvel actively drove them into the ground....because as long as it wasn’t ever going to be AS MUCH profit as Marvel could make off the movies of characters they had all the rights to....they didn’t want the X-Men ever even potentially overshadowing the Avengers in current readers’ eyes.

So it honestly pains me to see Marvel given any credit whatsoever for various progressive moves they’ve made with X-characters over the past decade. Because while all companies are in it to make money and I don’t expect otherwise, I can’t think of any other occasion where I’ve so clearly watched a company spit on one of its most profitable and iconic properties and all its fans, for the crime of....making money. They literally crashed and burned the franchise with full knowledge of what they were doing, and actively drove away one of the biggest fandoms out there, turning it into a wasteland compared to what it was, because the well established success and visibility of the X-franchise and fandom was in their eyes a threat to the MCU franchise and fandom they were trying to cultivate instead.

And given that on a meta level, the X-Franchise has always appealed more than most to readers from marginalized communities because of the allegories inherent in its core concept....its honestly kinda insulting whenever I’d see mainstream headlines and news stories giving Marvel editorial kudos for a high-profile gay wedding or making a founding X-Man gay or other well-received moves over the last decade....knowing full well how little regard they actually have for the readers those moves mean so much to, given that pretty much every other decision they make around it is meant to keep the X-Franchise from overtaking the Avengers in popularity again.

Like, don’t get me wrong because Bobby Drake has been one of my three favorite superheroes of all time for most of my life, in part BECAUSE I always read him as gay or bi.....so I love love LOVE that he’s officially a mlm in canon and has gotten his own solo series. But at the same time, its obnoxious as hell to be aware that people have been speculating about his sexuality for decades and making references in canon even, and outing him only actually happened BECAUSE he’s an X-character. You notice that for all the positive praise Northstar’s wedding and Bobby’s coming out garnered Marvel, they haven’t been in any rush to make a high profile Avenger gay, have they? Like....yes, the X-franchise has always been the franchise to make social commentary in, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only reason big creative alterations like making one of the oldest Marvel characters gay was only happening in the franchise Marvel didn’t give a fuck about.

So it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the comics now that the X-Men movie rights are back with Marvel and under the Disney umbrella. And I do hope and think that means the comic books will start to get a more cohesive direction again with the X-Men taking more pivotal roles in the comics and getting higher profile treatment again.

But fuck ever giving any of the current Marvel editorial staff credit or recognition for any progressive stories in the X-books. Because they very much do not care about the concept of the X-Men or the messages the X-Franchise is capable of sending with its stories. You can’t dedicate ten years to actively minimizing the franchise that means so much to marginalized readers and still claim to actually give a crap about any of the representation that franchise provides for those readers. Like, lol, you just can’t. 

[elizabethrobertajones]

You know, I desperately want Destiel to be end game as much as anybody, but somedays I think I would just be content if the show just textually acknowledged that Dean's bi. Something as simple as a dude at a bar asking Dean to come home w/ him while they're on a case and Dean saying something like "any other day I'd take you up on that but I can't tonight." IDK the subtext that Dean is bi is strong enough that I can't say the GA would be shocked by it and it would just be a nice textual nugget.

Hey, sorry it took so long to answer this, I’ve not been at my best for ages… Been thinking about this all week though :P 

I think it feels to me like the general audience can discard or mentally discredit an AWFUL lot of implication and direct hints - there have been comments and moments in many bits of media which imply directly or with heavy innuendo that a character may be interested in a non-hetero way to someone - especially things like teasy moments… 

Thinking of things like in HIMYM there’s an ongoing joke about Lily having a crush on Robin, but since she’s with Marshall the entire show, it doesn’t really go anywhere, and when they do kiss the dynamic swaps and Robin is left with kind of a crush on her and Lily’s over it and it’s all a joke, and even though they kissed it was a lol girls kissing is hot joke for the whole show, and it never turned into a discussion of sexuality, even if they would both happily stay married in their heterosexual marriages. (And… Uh. Robin stays married okay, I’m pretty sure that was the alternate ending in the DVD unless I hallucinated it out of sheer frustration >.>) Anyway to me it seems pretty natural to read both of them a little queer to full on bi, and if it had gone even a little bit differently Lily especially could be good representation for a bi woman in a relationship with a man who just happens to have ended up falling in love with him and that’s normal and doesn’t invalidate her sexuality? But yeah. No such nuance, so this whole thing barely registers for people and in general people would think it’s all a joke. 

I mean, even Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which is where that Getting Bi song comes from, has an episode where the main character has a huge rival-crush on the girlfriend of the guy she’s into, and gets so into her she even kisses her, but there’s no exploration of what that means to her and when her boss comes out as bi with that number, no exploration of if she might be as well, even if all these characters eventually might feel more comfortable defining themselves as straight it’s just weird to me there’s all these jokes about it which can go as far as kisses, use overly romantic language or a long-running joke of Lily heavily coming onto Robin or something, and yet unless you’re like a magpie collecting all this stuff it’s all still just noise. 

I bet a ton of people would not even have considered the characters were not-straight, even when directly pointing their eyes at this moment, consider it all as a joke or that it’s just something straight people do sometimes because of the cultural massive repression of bisexuality and the indications in more liberal times and places that when polled people will be majority queer to straight with at least some bi leanings… There’s all these headlines about gen Z being the gayest generation yet, but it’s not something in the water, it’s that previous generations have never dared be as open or consider that they’re non-straight, especially if they are easily attracted to people heterosexually… 

I think the Aaron scene was 90% of the way to what you are describing, minus Dean giving him a raincheck overtly, and Aaron admits it was a ruse before any further tension can follow. I think, having snooped a lot of blog archives in my time, that really was a turning point that got a lot of people convinced of the textual possibilities, especially with the director/writer commentary basically confirming it. And obviously it didn’t work to make EVERYONE see it, although fandom swelled that season and it was a very dramatic moment in the history of bi!Dean and Destiel within fandom. 

To give another example from outside the show, I’ve been watching Black Sails with my friend, who is very straight in mindset, and - major spoilers for that show ahead - the main character is confirmed to be overtly queer in the  middle of the second season. I think I know exactly the point I would have picked up this was a queer narrative in the first season, and what would have made me suspicious about the mysteriously un-revealed backstory. The build up to the reveal was amazing in the second season and I think if you didn’t get it you really need to do a rewatch, because my friend was utterly blindsided by the revelation, only catching on a scene before it happened (she does like guessing and is smart at TV if she knows all the cues to start with). But she’s - sorry - at sea with the character’s motivations and reasons, and understands his earlier actions almost completely backwards to me as she took him on face value for far too long without suspecting there was more than treasure and restoring his name on order, and not understanding his motives to be so political or to want to burn the entire system down or his utter alienation from the system; even after the reveal she didn’t understand the degree to which things were on the line or the forces pressuring him one way or the other. 

(I find it really interesting and I’m not really disagreeing with her, I’m curious how the surface layer all reads tbh :P) 

In any case, I don’t really have much confidence in a wider general audience taking throwaway moments to be full canon, and generally would need declarations and inescapable discussion or plot arcs for it. I think in some ways the trail is being blazed now - when Rosa came out as bi in b99 it had a sort of special episode educating you on it as much as being very sympathetic for bi people to watch and see literally a bulletpoint list of their issues and weird things people say about it acted out on screen. The subplot is basically the masterclass in addressing it. 

(So is the Getting Bi song :P although it covers less of the issues overall, it does make it fun and normalises the idea into a dance routine and deals with someone discovering the label for themselves and being thrilled it makes their life make sense.) 

I don’t think spn should do anything quite so specific or hilarious, but I love @bluestar86‘s concept of an episode which uses flashbacks to reveal Dean’s bisexuality - basically like with Robin in 9x07, but I think even just showing it was a childhood crush and he never figured it all out at the time but meeting the guy later in life makes things make a lot of sense or something… And we already have a template for that without going all the way into it with his reaction to meeting Gunnar Lawless, a childhood celebrity crush. So there’s paths to take which could do it.

But ultimately I think the issue is so messed up and tangled into the main arc that it would be next to impossible to confirm Dean is bi without having an utter drama about why not Destiel, as the two concepts are not, at this point, really separate or that you could have one without the other, though it would be easier to not address Dean’s sexuality in any way of assigning labels or having more than the immediately necessary self-reflection to deal with feelings for Cas without exploring deeper… (Not that I like that idea, it’s just, they could, you know? Not even in a “i don’t like labels” way but just something like Dean going “huh” and then getting together with Cas and literally no one ever makes a fuss or starts up a dialogue about why they’re now holding hands :P) 

But it’s been such a ridiculous, epic, drawn out relationship on screen that making Dean bi independent of Cas would seem bizarre and off-balance without addressing his relationship to Cas. Just because they have such an intense relationship, and within the text of the show are many many references to their relationship on many different levels, from snide comments to enormous declarations. None of this happens in isolation to other storylines or character depth. With the momentum and depth it has in the story, making Dean bi would be seen as a precursor to Destiel, and at this point cruel and strange not to address it and would beg the question of why they ever confirmed him bi in the first place, if not to leave the ship unresolved to the end but to be open for us to imagine it might happen one day when the story is over - or not, if we don’t ship it, and it’s the way to thread a needle to try and keep everyone happy. Which I’m not sure would work except for the people who very specifically would advocate for bi Dean but don’t think a ship is necessary. I mean, I know that’s a chunk of the Dean fandom, and it’s a valid way to read the text, and of course a lot of Destiel shippers are fully aware Dean is bi without any special interference from Cas about that :P 

And, I mean, in the same way, Cas’s story isn’t ALL about Dean and he has a lot of personal growth that doesn’t have to do with him or happens in spite of him in some cases. But it’s still inextricable from Cas’s character how much he loves Dean and how much Dean has meant to him, and they crossed the line of Cas loving Dean, unrequited or not, a long time ago, and Cas has been existing in a subtextual agony of being in love with Dean but seemingly unrequited for a very long time now, as that line was crossed before several season renewals made it  a painful wait for him. This doesn’t exist in a void to Dean’s sexuality either. 

So, I mean, I don’t know. I disagree with you about the general audience thing entirely, and I think this exchange you imagine could easily be absorbed by the GA to not really credit it as a full part of Dean’s character, laugh it off as a joke from him no matter how seriously he delivers it, and generally not remember him as a bisexual character. Because to straight viewers, they aren’t seeking out sexuality hints and confirmations, and such things don’t really affect their view of a character unless it becomes a textual romance. It has all the meaning sucked from it by their lack of interest and inability to sympathetically mould the character’s inner life based on their own experiences that match. If they’re not making a study of the character, these things can be dismissed as white noise, and in a few years time, a Buzzfeed article of “10 Pop Culture Characters You Never Knew Were Gay!” or something.

And it’s like, yes. We knew. We knew all along. We knew before it happened. But that doesn’t affect how people think of it.

So it feels to me like the only way if they wanted to make a real point of Dean being bi is to have the frank discussion, and devote a proper subplot amount of time to Dean’s sexuality, enough that it is clear and inescapably affecting him, or to confirm it via a relationship which would in this case conveniently by answered by the angel he’s been subtextually pining for for years, and who has his own arc of being pretty overtly in love with Dean to answer… should the show decide to go with addressing Dean’s sexuality, they have put a LOT of work into having this relationship ready and waiting, I’m just saying :P And if they only had an Aaron but x10 scene, it would STILL not really affect anything except layers below GA  - there’ll be more queer viewers who see it for the first time, and within these four walls it will obviously never be forgotten and will be a huge part of how Dean is celebrated by fandom, but I just can’t see it making an impact unless it’s more than a passing moment, because those get swallowed by a heteronormative void…

[terranoctis]

happiness

Hi! It’s Pride Month! And since I’m a little more grown up and open to talking about my sexuality than ever, I thought I’d write a rambling a post about my growth in this private corner of my world. It’s also been on my mind for the last few days, so I thought I’d write to get it out of my system.

Not many people know, but I consider myself an individual who can be attracted to men, women, and non-binary individuals. In my youth, I considered it as bisexuality because it was the term I was familiar with, and in general, because I was not familiar with non-binary individuals growing up. I grew up in a conservative household, and as you grow up in that world, what you learn of how people can be rather narrow. As I grow older, I’ve learned more about the spectrum and the label of pansexuality. Now that I’m older and more educated on such labels, I believe pansexual would be the correct spectrum I fall under, with a dash of need for emotional connection and trust before I can be physical with anyone (that’s a whole other label I find myself still needing to be educated on). I never really thought about labeling it, because I didn’t find the need to tell many people. 

I just know that I really liked a girl once, and I have loved a man before.

It’s interesting for me to talk about it now (and also analyze it), because when I was younger, I thought I would never tell anyone about her. I thought about it like a small secret that I’d go die with, and it’s only as I grew older that I recognized how oddly grim that could be. Why was it such a secret? Is it because she was one of my closest friends? Certainly, that might have been one reason. Even now, I like to keep her close to my chest--even though I can say without a doubt that she is the one I liked so much that my entire world changed. She’s different, out of everyone I’ve ever cared about, and I can’t explain that in words. 

The other, more obvious reason, was because I knew how different it would make me to everyone around me. I value my friendships and my familial relationships above most things. It’s scary to know that because of someone I cared about, the people who care about me might not feel the same way. The world I grew up in is quite heteronormative. And the truth is, some people will treat you differently once they know.

I told someone I trusted once and they later made a joke about a threesome, and it made me feel sick inside. It’s not like because I can be attracted to men or women that I suddenly want to sleep with both. I don’t even like doing physical things unless I know someone well and trust them on a certain level, but not everyone recognizes that spectrum of sexuality. And not everyone understands how biphobic their opinion can be in believing a bi/pan individual will just turn around to sleep with the other gender when they’re with someone. 

Since then, I haven’t really felt the need to tell people around me unless I want to trust them or it’s a thing that feels necessary. I told someone I liked once because it was important to me that they knew that fact about me if we were ever to move forward--and even though we never did, he’s still someone I care about as one of my closest friends today. It’s something I value and find so important. It’s part of me, even if it’s not something so overt.

Maybe I’m still learning to express that to people I want to be in my life for a long time. It’s a certain step of courage to also recognize that you’ve been hiding yourself away from people. Though it’s also smart to recognize that it’s not always relevant. One of the things people have to understand is that your sexuality is not the thing that defines you, though people will often make it be what defines their relationship with you. That friend I mentioned with the threesome made it define our relationship and I don’t talk to them as much now. But I’ve also met people who care about you regardless of who you like and who you might like and treat you just the same.

Sometimes you don’t feel the need to tell someone you’ve felt attraction to females, if you’re not dating a woman at the time. But sometimes, it does feel relevant when a friend and a woman you’re a little attracted to says you can sleep over after you drink. She doesn’t know, so you have to smile and politely turn it down. It’s not like anything would happen, but it doesn’t feel right to stay the night if she doesn’t know. There are moments like that which happen and make me think I have to be more open about my sexuality. I know that particular night, I wondered when I should tell her, but there’s also a hesitation. How differently will she treat you once you tell her? I value her friendship too much to ever cross that line, but will she understand that? There’s always that risk. Because I want this friend to be in my life for a long time, I want her to know so there is nothing to hide. 

And that’s part of my growth in understanding my sexuality. Maybe because back then my world was so small, I only thought I’d ever be drawn to one girl. As I grew older, I’ve met just a few other girls I’ve been drawn to after getting to know them better, and you wonder what the right level of being open about your sexuality is. I still have strong connections to people who are quite heterosexual and in some ways, their faith is built on that. I want them to know me, but I don’t want to destroy that world they’ve built for themselves. It’s a delicate balance. I don’t want them to have to treat me differently. And it’s something I’ll have to face the older I get if I meet the right person. 

I never really thought about my sexuality in depth when I was younger. It just kind of softly slid into my mind one day the realization that I cared about my first love. She was the first person I really liked, and it took me years to understand that because I was so clueless about it. And she was my first love. For someone who only thought she ever liked boys because that was what all her friends talked about, it was a quiet moment alone that made me think that maybe the way I treated her was how my friends treated the people they liked. I stopped taking piano lessons to spend more time with her (and I loved music). Even though she was bad at games, I liked playing games with her. I’d lie for her--and she’d lie for me. I wanted to protect her. I’d sneak her into my room when I wasn’t supposed to bring friends over--and I’d sneak into hers when I was supposed to be at home. We had our secrets--and she was my favorite person to spend time with. 

She was my first and I didn’t understand that until I was much older. Even after all the boys I met that I had crushes on, even after I would giggle with my friends about a certain boy--I learned the truth about who she was to me. By then, we were living entirely different lives and I was learning to become my own person when once it had been her person. My first love was not without its own problems. That’s a whole other story of how that shaped me, but I just knew from that point on that I could love girls the same way my friends loved boys. It was a quiet realization. There wasn’t anybody to tell because nothing else was going to happen between us. My sadness seemed irrelevant because of that. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever like a girl again, but I knew I had once, and it had been a huge part of my coming of age. She was a huge part of my life that no one ever knew about.

There are a lot of things I wish I could’ve told teenager me, and the first was, I never had to keep it a secret. I had friends who maybe would’ve been surprised. I might have lost some friends on the way, but at least those people would have really known me. She was such a huge part of my life. I might’ve better understood myself at a younger age if I had talked about it more, and discussed it with someone else. I’m learning now to not internalize as much, because I have people who do care about me. 

I’m kind of gay. And I’m kind of straight. I never doubted being attracted to men, though sometimes they give me headaches. I’ve never hesitated in believing that I like women either, after those days and meeting others in my later years that made me realize, no, it wasn’t just one secret I’d never tell anyone. It’s part of me. I started understanding better the nuances of how I am attracted to someone. I might really love a woman or non-binary individual someday and be with that person for a long time. I might really love a man again and be with him for a long time. Unlike other individuals, I’m not really attracted physically to people. I might think someone is physically attractive, but I don’t feel any need to act on that. I’m attracted to intelligence and after making a emotional connection--and it can be to either men or women once I’ve made that connection. It’s pretty rare for me to like someone as far as it goes among the people I’ve met, but once I do like someone, it’s usually long-lasting. I’ve also learned now to stop liking people when it’s not good for me.

It’s a matter of being older and being more certain in what you like, so I’m a little proud in understanding that about myself. Might I tell everyone in my life when I’m older? I will, for certain, if I meet someone that doesn’t fit into my family’s or friends’ heterosexual world. If I meet someone that I want to spend a future with, I won’t hide that. I want that person to know that they can hold hands with me in public without a shred of fear, because they’re not some secret I have to die with. I might tell those close to me beforehand if it’s important to me that they know. Right now, I’m not looking to find anyone, and I’m still learning to heal from previous relationships so it isn’t something I feel the need to explain just yet. And let’s be honest, I’m not meeting anyone in this pandemic. Even so, it’s so important to me that I understand how far I’ve come in being honest to myself and others about that. I have the habit of hiding things, but it’s not something I have to do. 

And to that first one, even though you might never know the truth in its entirety, I am happy it was you. I’m happy that I knew it was you and knew that I could love you whether you were a woman or a man, because it was you. I want to be that in love and happy with someone again. It was one of the best times of my life, as it was a difficult growing pain. Let’s drink some wine together again when the world around us has become a little more normal, like we’re stupid kids again.

And to that boy on the brink of adulthood who came after, thank you for teaching me that love can be as difficult as it is profound, and that even the best loves can break. It isn’t the end for us, even though there’s a line between right and wrong that we can never cross again. I want us to be happy, no matter who we find the next time around. I have this feeling we’ll still be having many more conversations to mend the bridge between us, and I’ll still be irritated sometimes. Even so, I’m grateful to have you. I’m grateful to have us healing that part of us we left behind. You still give me a headache, but that’s always been us--and we’re learning to grow past that.

And to the man and friend I met after part of me never wanted to be in love again, thank you for letting me grow back into being okay with such affections again. I don’t think you know just how important it was for me to have met you and been drawn to you. I don’t know what the future has written for us, but I’m always quietly happy to believe that you’ll be a part of it for a long time. Your reaction to my sexuality was one of the greatest reactions I’ve had to that and it made me realize how important it is that someone I like knows that about me. I truly was happy to have liked you, and I don’t regret any of it. You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. Here’s to a great many more years of being in each other’s life. 

On a less significant note, to the woman who asked me to sleep over at her place, I will never approach you in that way because I don’t think we’re the right people for each other, but you sometimes make me realize how absolutely gay I can be. The level of panic I have with you occasionally is just sheer hilarity. It’s ridiculous and I laugh inside about it sometimes. Thank you for being an amazing friend. You, of all people, I want to find someone that’s perfect for you because you deserve all the happiness in the world.

And to myself, keep loving yourself as you meet new and old people. You’re not defined by them or your sexuality, but remember to be proud of who you are. You have loved who you have in the past, and they’re a good part of you, even the worst experiences. You’ve learned and you’ve grown up. Be proud of it. 

There’s a kind of happiness in understanding your own love. And all those people, even those not named here, have brought you a kind of happiness as well. Trust in that and find a new happiness with it whether it’s in something on your own or with someone else.

[mild-lunacy]

Why I Like Labels

So I'm reading this LGBT romance, Bromosexual by Daryl Banner. I always enjoy tongue-in-cheek titles, and tongue-in-cheek books. It's pretty good so far. One of the guys is gay; the other thinks he's straight, but isn't. They're at the point where they're having a sincere conversation about the not-so-straight guy's sexuality, 'cause it's obvious he's definitely sexually attracted to his friend, Ryan. And he's worried he's homophobic, 'cause he still doesn't think he's gay or bi, even after having sex with his male best friend. He honestly says he never related to the gay guys he'd known, but on the other hand, neither is he like the super sex-obsessed straight guys he knows, particularly 'cause he knows a lot of athletes and jocks. He's enjoyed straight sex, but hasn't had a serious relationship. He's like a perfect example of the romance novel and/or slash fic 'gay for you' stereotype.

They go a little further than some books like that, 'cause he says he used to actually think he was asexual (but I suppose he dismissed it 'cause he feels sexual interest sometimes). And although at first, Ryan had insisted that his friend Stefan was gay (or alternatively, bisexual), at that point he agrees with Stefan that maybe he doesn't need a label after all. Things aren't always black and white, are they? Why force it, right?

I don't know if they arrive at the idea of demisexuality eventually or if Stefan ends up identifying as gay in the end, which I know some demi and/or ace people do in real life. So Stefan may end up changing his mind in the future, theoretically, no matter where the story itself ends up. It's only been a few days at this point. Most people need way, way more time. This conversation is pretty early, all things considered. But given that it's called 'Bromosexual', I'm guessing the book doesn't choose to classify Stefan's 'grey' orientation by calling it grey-ace or demisexual. I don't even know if I'd be disappointed, 'cause even having an honest conversation is more than many books end up doing. It's unlikely that an average guy (of any persuasion) would have those kind of soul-searching talks with his friend *or* boyfriend, realistically. Although, well, Ryan is a school psychologist, so he should be more likely to initiate and/or sustain one than most.

All this *did* make me realize that there are actually many portrayals of male demisexuality out there, 'cause the gay-for-you trope is so very, very common. There's really no other way to look at it, at least for me: being sexually attracted only to the person you're super close to is what demisexuality literally means. Since almost all the stories with the gay-for-you trope have the main characters be way closer to one friend than any others, you can't really dispute it. Stefan may not be attracted to any other guys, but he's also not super close to any other guys. And then there's the fact that the only guy he maybe sort of also got attracted to, he was friends with. And nice as it is to talk about how not everything needs a label, basically I think that if you call gay people gay, there's no reason not to continue calling other things by name, too. Either everything has and needs a name, or nothing does. I'm not sure why I should really think that as soon as something becomes complex and difficult to figure out, the need for names and categories disappears. Surely it's *more* important to understand and name difficult things, rather than only the simple, black and white things. Honestly, if anything didn't need categorizing, surely it's the obvious.

You could talk about how the idea of someone only becoming gay because their friend is just that special is unrealistic, problematic or even truly negative for queer people or what have you, 'cause plenty of straight people have also had fears of being 'turned'. It's not as if queerness is actually contagious. But I don't really care about that angle, personally. Even though technically you could also solve this by calling your 'not gay' character 'queer'. Maybe it just hasn't been long enough for that usage to truly permeate and disperse far and wide enough to be broadly acceptable and accessible in fiction, although it seems like an out gay man living in the US like Ryan would be up to date with the umbrella usage of 'queer', even if he hasn't heard of demisexuality. I was actually a bit amazed a jock like Stefan even knew enough to consider his own asexuality. That's way further than most of these stories go, even in actual published LGBT fiction.

It's funny, 'cause there's definitely times demisexuality doesn't work as a label, and you should try for gay or bisexual. For example, with John Watson, given how repressed he is, yeah I'd still go for bisexual. It's one thing for a man to honestly admit they're not interested in guys that way, generally. (Though it becomes particularly damning if one doesn't generally have intense heterosexual romantic attachments either, like John.) But given that John has been so adamant, so messed up about his relationship to Sherlock... yeah, I wouldn't take any of what he says or perceives about himself at face value. Even if you accept John is actually straight, clearly he's not someone you can just believe to be honest to or about himself. While that isn't an excuse to project anything onto him as a character in an analysis, I'd say it's pretty apparent that there's something going on that he's repressing. Specifically about Sherlock. And well, demisexuality isn't about repression; it's more like a way to explain how some people may genuinely only like one person 'that way' and not dozens or hundreds, or what have you.

In *that* sense, I agree that labels are certainly tricky things, and ought to be used responsibly. You shouldn't just apply them willy-nilly, or assume they explain individual complexities where they only barely hint at them. I mean, in my opinion, the word 'gay' includes the full spectrum of behavior and attraction from hyper-sexuality to asexual homoromantic people (and more). At the same time, this breadth means any given label can't predict or explain all the aspects of a particular individual, necessarily. That's not what labels are *for*, anyway. Of course there are things there are no labels for. I mean, you could always make some, but they're certainly not always necessary. That's true.

But it's maddening to me how often characters (and people in real life) will have this conversation, like in Bromosexual, where either someone goes for the obvious or demisexuality and bisexuality are both more or less hand-waved away. I mean, I understand that demisexuality is an obscure idea, so I'm not very surprised or particularly upset about it. But bisexuality gets the same treatment in the media, and that *does* upset me. Bi erasure is real. There's enough public awareness of bisexuality that ignoring or dismissing it as a useless label it is *obviously* purposeful on some level. Or at least, whether or not a given writer meant it that way, this would still be part of a general social trend towards erasure. It's not some innocent, abstract concern about naming things that don't need a name. No, because bisexuality has a name. And it's dismissed and suppressed because people are uncomfortable. Even bisexual or otherwise queer people. And, you know, that's not OK. That's prejudice.

Anyway, I will admit that a lot of times it's awkward. A lot of people genuinely aren't comfortable with overly concrete things or into self-reflection. That's a personality quirk I'm definitely aware of. There are certainly well-meaning people with that personality quirk. There are other writers like Maggie Stiefvater, who wrote LGBT books with sympathetic and genuinely realistic portrayals of characters who're truly unlikely to use the word 'gay' at a certain point in time, let alone jumping straight to declaring themselves bisexual. However, these writers, no matter how well-meaning and realistic, are also being privileged by the people in power in society who're uncomfortable with queerness in general or bisexuality in particular. And I will also admit that many times, stories that do use labels are very self-conscious or self-important about it, and realistic characterization often suffers. I've seen plenty of explicit bisexual representation that worked for me, but I've only read one novel or fic with a believably self-aware demisexual character (Santino Hassell's Concourse). It's hard to do well, and I don't think it's always necessary; the Raven Cycle is a good example of a series that worked great without any labels.

I just think it's worthwhile to make that effort more often, that's all. I'm not a person that's particularly political about it, or insistent about seeing a certain kind of 'representation' by far. Still, how Stefan feels does have a name. Stefan is absolutely a bi demisexual. He's not the only one like that. In fact, he's a lot like me. And well, it'd be nice to have that acknowledged in the story. It would be nice to go all the way with bi and ace representation sometimes.