#nonbinary community

[rampagingjackel]

no such thing as a boyish or girly game

no such thing as a boyish or girly drink

no such thing as a boyish or girly job

No such thing as a girly or a boyish interest.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish colour.

No such thing as a girly or boyish mental illness.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish outfit.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish hormone.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish scent.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish ethnicity.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish accent.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish body type.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish bedroom.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish subject.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish location.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish emotion.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish race.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish foodstuff.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish personality.

No such thing as a girly or a boyish lifestyle.

If you want, you can reblog and add another factor of life that is needlessly binarised that should be called out. Natural life lacks binaries. Human life lacks binaries. Binary gender roles are ridiculous and ludicrously imposed on society. Free yourself of them, whether you are non-binary or not.

[dhddmods]

If you say non-binary & intersex trans people "aren't transitioning" or have an "easier transition", you are either ignorant or an idiot.

Socially transitioning is still a transition. Asking to be viewed as your gender (or lack of gender) is still a transition.

Changing your name, titles, or pronouns is still a transition.

Many perisex binary trans people don't want to physically transition either.

And also, non-binary and intersex people can desire a physical transition too. HRT, bottom surgery, and top surgery aren't limited to binary transitions.

Stop calling HRT "feminizing" or "masculinizing", and use non-binary and intersex inclusive language instead (androgenizing, micro-androgenizing, estrogenizing, micro-estrogenizing, androestrogenizing, micro-androestrogenizing.)

And yes, they are still trans even if they identify with their assigned gender to some extent. PLEASE see our other post about how being transgender is more than just "identifying against your assigned gender."

Stop telling non-binary and intersex people who are transmasc, transfem, transandrogynous, transneutral, transnull, transgenderless, transxenine, transoutherine, transaporine, multigender, or mixed gender that they are "not trans" or "not trans enough."

Stop treating non-binary & intersex people like they have an "easier transition" than binary people, when society is super binary-centric, to the point where non-binary and intersex people get left out, even in supposedly "inclusive" spaces.

[ryjkowiec]

‼️🏳️‍🌈Queer space for youth is at the risk of closing. 🏳️‍⚧️‼️

Please, this pride month help keep some of the rainbow in a conservative city in Poland.

Share or/and donate.

(a broader description of the situation in the link below)

[sirpuntine]

It’s nice talking to nb trans people about identity cause I can just be like

none gender left masc

and the whole squad will nod thoughtfully like philosophers at the agora

[nonbinarynow]

The indivualisation of enbiness is very antithetical to what queerness is. Progress for everyone should not be stopped because one specific person doesn't like it. People are outrageous in demanding perfect inclusivity for all enben that we never get anywhere as a community. No one is making you call yourself an enban, and you not wanting to be called that should not and should never prevent enben as whole from being included in society. The idea that everyone deals in individuals is rooted in capitalism, something else that needs to be disposed of in favour of collectivism.

The idea that enben should settle for being called 'person' when men and women get words that affirm their genders

this is exorsexism.

right? this feeling is so hard to put into words. binary people get so many words that are specifically for their gender and we usually get the one that also includes binary people, if we get one at all.

it's why i love calling myself an enby, a maverique or a maven as a noun, and why i love seeing people come up with terms for specific nonbinary genders or nonbinary people in general. of course people don't have to like or use these terms (there are some maverique terms i don't like/use, and i'm not a big fan of the term enban for myself), but just having the option is nice.

[whereserpentswalk]

To accept trans people you have to accept them as their gender identity at all times I don't get why this is so hard for people, especially allies, especially other trans people. Not calling someone slurs isn't enough, you have to see them as the gender they say they are.

You don't get to gender transfems as male the momment you want to be afraid of them. You don't get to gender transmascs as female the momment you think it'll be easier for them or that it'll promote gender equality. You don't get to pick which binary gender you want a nonbinary person to be the momment you run into a situation where our culture wants you to see them as one or the other.

Missgendering someone isn't just using the wrong name or pronouns, it's thinking about someone, or treating someone, the wrong way.

[batsbirdsandspeedstersohmy]

Nonbinary community. We need something that's ma'am / sir but for nonbinary people or people who don't identify always with those.

I have a few people I interact at while working. That use ma'am and sir all the time and who stop and are apologetic. And would really love something they can use.

I am not nonbinary I am a trans man. But we have a nonbinary coworker. And there nothing online that we can find.

Just something that should be thought about. Cause there are people that use those words and would be relieved if there was something they could use for those who don't fit the binary of them.

[genderqueerdykes]

I saw your post about AMAB Enbies and how non-binary isn’t a monolith and wanted to say I appreciated seeing it. As a 25-year-old socially anxious, autistic, and ADHD AMAB enby person, it’s hard for me not to feel like a lot of trans and LGBT spaces treat me like a fox in the henhouse, especially when there are physical attributes I can’t change, like my height and build, and how “manly” things like my hands and face are. I can’t exactly change my facial structure, nor do I think it’d be authentic to myself if I did or could. (Apparently, it’s a problem to have a well-kempt and styled beard?)

Unfortunately, when I interact with the local trans community, most conversations circle around whether I’m planning on medically transitioning or “getting some work done.” I don’t feel like I have something to transition to; I just need to work on improving my physical and mental health. They also often ask if I’m happy with my style/aesthetics, which I’m not. But it often feels like a catty jab because, one, who has the money for a professional boy-mode-ish wardrobe, a boy-mode/family-safe wardrobe, AND a gender-affirming wardrobe? There is some overlap between those three concepts, I know, but still… I can’t wear a tank top, fun/crazy button-up, and a pair of khaki booty shorts in an office setting, or god forbid, around parents or certain friends. XwX

A lot of my autistic and ADHD tics were “corrected” in harmful ways that have made me more restrained and subdued to a point where my excitement might seem a bit disconcerting at times. I used to talk with my hands a lot and fidget a lot, but since it wasn’t something “good boys” did, the behavior was “corrected” by my parents and the community I grew up in. I’m always kinda anxious and paranoid now in groups of semi-strangers that I’ll make a major faux pas and everyone will hate me or dogpile in correcting me.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble in your asks. I just wanted to say thank you for speaking out because some of us are afraid to. ^^;

hey i just wanted to say thanks for sending this ask! i really appreciate it because it irks me that people just participate in this behavior and act like that's what's to be expected or right. it's not okay, and i'm sorry you have firsthand experience with this, but i absolutely do not blame you at all whatsoever. it's fucked up that a lot of spaces for people who fall outside of the gender binary are beginning to police AGAB which is just. absolutely outrageous behavior from a community that is supposed to embrace and celebrate diversity in identity and how we experience gender outside of the binary...

but instead toxic people become obsessed with the biological sex binary. i don't know how to put it any other way than it is transphobic as fuck to say you don't feel safe around an entire group of people with/born with one specific genitals. their genitals have nothing to do you with you! nothing! those are their genitals, leave them the fuck alone! this is LITERALLY the "we don't give a fuck about AGAB" community and bioessentialists and transphobic queers are loudly and proudly excommunicating anyone from the community who was born assigned male at birth or has a penis in general.

i'm sorry to hear that people are so uptight about your body and physical appearance. the thing is that we are supposed to be embracing diversity in our bodies and appearances and experiences but yet they see someone who is... tall? or has a defined chin? or an adam's apple? or dense muscle tissue? or facial hair, like you mentioned? and suddenly they're... a threat? what the hell is this? it's transphobia, that's what it is!

you shouldn't have to transition if you don't want to. the thing about being non binary is that you presenting that way, especially if it's how you want to present, is literally challenging and stepping outside of the gender binary as we know it today. you are not required to go over the top and be the most femme person to have ever walked the earth. you're not required to have surgeries done or take hormones or dress different or change your voice... you don't have to change anything about you that you don't want to. that's one of the core principles of the trans community and we are letting down such a massive part of our family by behaving this way.

you really hit the nail on the head by bringing up your tics. i am so sorry that you have to deal with that worry- a LOT of people who are hostile toward amab transfems, trans women, and transfemmes in general target them specifically because of their mental health and/or neurodivergence. i've noticed this in person, especially if the amab non binary person in question has a loud voice and doesn't notice or has hearing damage and has to speak loudly, if they have tics as you mentioned, if they talk a lot or enjoy long conversations, if they try to explain... anything, people will target them for being "hostile" or for "arguing" when they're doing nothing wrong

people have gotten too comfortable in calling people with these features, especially people with deep voices, facial/body hair and penises, make someone "scary" or "dangerous". people are literally gladly applying radfem logic to the nonbinary community and not questioning it. radfems are attempting to rope in nonbinary afab people as they view them as "confused women," so the more we support this behavior, the more we lose grasp on our own family and community. we can't allow people to think this is okay behavior

i don't understand why people are okay with cis butch women but not okay with butch or gender non conforming transfems, trans women and amab trans people. i despise the notion that amab and intersex people can't be gender non conforming. why is gender non conformity reserved for afab people? has everyone forgotten (or patently ignored) the rich history of amab non binary and gender non conforming people we've had over the many decades of recorded history throughout our community in this modern era?

amab people should be allowed in these spaces, because there are just as many ways for amab people to step outside of the gender binary as there are afab and intersex people. everyone is capable of stepping outside of the binary for their identity and nobody has the right to police what that looks like. nobody. if one genuinely has trauma being around people of certain body types, seeking some type of therapy is crucial, because this is projecting one person's specific trauma on to an entire group of people, and it's spreading like wildfire and becoming the default in these spaces

this is not an attempt to derail, but rather to point out that this affects ALL trans people: fearing these traits in any person of any agab affects trans men, transmascs, intersex people, and other trans people in general. someone can have these features for a variety of reasons. also, if we're leaving out trans men & mascs, and we're leaving out trans women & femmes, AND we're leaving out AMAB people in general... how the HELL is that a trans community? there's no community to be had there whatsoever! that's an echo chamber! that's a radfeminist belief breeding ground!

we cannot let radfems and transmisogynist let nonbinary spaces become "gender non conforming women, afab trans people and people with a vagina only" spaces, because at what point, why are you calling it the nonbinary community? people need to be brutally honest and call those spaces women's spaces, or EXPLICITLY tell people that they are made only for people assigned female at birth. that wouldn't be ideal but it would at least make this transparent so people would know to avoid that and possibly start up their own safer spaces for ALL trans people

leaving out amab trans people no matter how they identify means your space is not safe for ALL trans people. it needs to be safe for every trans person no matter what they were assigned at birth. we are failing a huge portion of our community for no reason other than for people to project their trauma onto a group of people that haven't hurt them. we can't let down our family like that. it affects us all. we are stronger together and the nonbinary communities become more nuanced and develop better resources and enable all trans voices as opposed to 1 very specific type of trans person

thank you for this ask, sorry for such a long winded reply but i am so sick of people being awful to amab trans people in general. you deserve to be able to be non binary openly and talk about it with other queer people. i hope you're able to find safer spaces to be who you are, you deserve that just like any other queer person. you don't deserve to feel like you're walking on eggshells the entire time you're around other nonbinary people because you were assigned a different sex at birth, and you have different genitals than they do... that's literally antithetical to transness as a concept and queer community on the whole

you don't have to adhere to a strict binary just because you are amab and trans, i hate how people tell you and other folks in your shoes those exact things. you know who you are, you are a non binary person, and i hope more people begin to challenge this behavior and speak up for others, because this is literally not queer community. this is petty infighting being influenced by transmisogynist politics that does not belong. that has nothing to do with queer community, that is an attempt by radfems to disassemble our community at every possible level.

please for the love of god stop giving them that. it's hurting us all

[proudnb]

I want to thank those nonbinary people who are able to be visible in society. It's a dangerous place to be, but we need you.

For those nonbinary people unable (or simply unwilling) to be visible, thank you for making the world a little less lonesome and dangerous by simply existing as you are.

[blakescrazyblog]

I swear, I've become a Tumblr addict.

I've totally different person since I joined Tumblr.

[cozyinhyrule]

My Favorite Stardew Valley Mods 🌱

✦ Diverse Stardew Valley ✦

Add better ethnic, racial, cultural, gender, ability, and body type diversity to Stardew Valley.

✦ To-Dew ✦

Adds a to-do list so you never forget your tasks.

✦ Gender Neutrality Mod ✦

Makes Stardew non-binary friendly with more gender inclusive language. Players can choose their preferred pronouns & how they want to be referred to using the Mod Config Menu Mod.

✦ Pregnancy Role ✦

Players can choose how they want to have children regardless of gender.

✦ NPC Map Locations ✦

Adds NPC sprites to your mini map so you can easily find everyone.

✦ Hobbit Holes ✦

Turns cabins (including multiplayer cabins) in hobbit holes.

✦ Automate ✦

Place a chest next to a machine & the machine will automatically pull raw items from the chest & push processed items into it.

✦ Family Planning ✦

Allows you to customize the maximum number of children you can have and their genders. You can also adopt children with a roommate (ie Krobus).

✦ Carry Chest ✦

Allows players to carry a chest even when it's full of items.

I also have a list of all the mods I currently use (always updated) right.... here!

I hope you enjoyed it! Also curious, what are your favorite Stardew Valley Mods? 🎮

[osokasstuff]

say it out loud

i think one of the reasons for misuse terms like afab/amab is the fear/shyness around naming genitals, reproductive organs and processes, and related stuff. like sometimes people misuse afab/amab because they genuinely don't know or don't remember about intersex people, gender-affirming procedures, etc. but sometimes people seem to just don't know how to name genitals or reproductive processes without, you know, actually naming them.

and the solution to this problem is plain and simple: call it by name!

penis is not a dirty word. vagina is not a dirty word. pollution, menstruation, breast, testicle, ovaries, sperm, fallopian tubes, uterus, prostate, scrotum, every word for body part, organ, or biological process isn't dirty. it's appropriate for children. moreso, it's necessary for children to know actual names for their genitals and reproductive organs. it helps to prevent abuse. it helps to tell about problems and discomfort. it's important for children to know and understand their bodies!

it's appropriate for sfw spaces. genitals, reproductive organs, and sex characteristics aren't inherently sexual. we need to normalize non-sexual discussions of these things, actually. it will help people to learn about them, about bodies' functions, about diversity, about everything! it will also help people to be normal about each other's body parts. if something is allowed to exist only in sexual context (like genitals or breast), it will more likely be oversexualized. if something is not allowed to exist publicly at all (like menstruations, pollutions, intersex bodies, etc.), it will more likely be considered gross.

for the record, the paragraph above doesn't mean justifying sexual harassment or rude behavior around bodily processes and body traits. social context affects perception, but everyone makes their own decision to behave (or not behave) disrespectful.

i know it may feel weird and embarrassing. but it's important for everyone, especially for intersex and trans people. and it gets easier with practice.

don't be afraid of naming body parts and processes.

[sadtransgal]

fun fact: trans women can say they were born female and trans men casual say they were born make. Because that's how science works.

(it works if you are non-binary too.)

[neometrocosmopolitan]

Enben with dysphoria, you're not alone. I feel it too.

[whereserpentswalk]

Any other enbies feel entirely left behind by a trans community that's increasingly focused on transmascs and trasnfems as two distinct groups, and that is more and more intent on making full medical and social transition and passing the only path to acceptance? Anyone else starting to feel a certain way around binary queer people that we used to only have to feel around cis people?