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retroellie · 1 year

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Twisted Game

Summary: After the prison collapses, you and Daryl are stuck on the road. After chugging down some moonshine a game of "Never have i ever" turns into a night you'll never forget.

A/N: I've had this in my drafts for weeks, i finished it up all today so it might be choppy. But this shit was the horniess thing i have ever written God damn. Also, the way this gif has a choke hold on me, HIS TUMMY, i simply cannot.

Warnings: NSFW, Loss of virginity, unprotected sex, Oral sex, dirty talk and squirting

Word count: 6.9K

“So you understand the game now?” You asked the man sitting across from you.

He gave you a look, blue eyes boring into your skin as you raised your brow to him. You had butterflies in your stomach, whether that was because you were sitting across from a beautiful man or it was the moonshine kicking In. He hesitated, knowing this game could end up in hurt feelings or you being completely grossed out about his redneck life. Opening up to people wasn’t Daryl’s strong suit.

“Fine…” he mumbled.

You guys had been on the road for days, only stopping to set up camp to rest and cook your squirrels or whatever Daryl had hunted for y’all. You missed your family, your family that you wouldn’t even look at twice before all this but yet they were the closest people to you. Daryl was unfortunately a part of that little family but he made you feel like a burden, he was never your favorite person ever but at this moment he was.

He was the only one left to you, he was the only person left of your entire fucked up family you had. You had broken down so many times, crying at night hoping Daryl didn’t hear… he always did. He wasn’t too good at feelings so he never said anything but he wanted to. But here y’all were now, sipping on moonshine after Daryl had picked it out for you. He thought maybe it would take your mind off things… if it ever will be taken off your mind.

“Okay great!! I’ll start!” You said, smiling wildly as you thought about what you’d say.

You were usually well reserved, never really opening up to anyone but carol and maybe Rick at times. But you were tipsy, the moonshine burning low into your stomach and you were let loose. If someone were to tell you that you would be in an abandoned trailer with moonshine in your hand next to a pretty redneck?? You’d laugh in their face.

“I’ve never…. Drank before… I mean besides this.” You said, smirking over at Daryl.

Daryl rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his moonshine before putting it back down. It amazed you how he didn’t even make a face when he downed it, he’s definitely used to drinking you thought.

“Okay… it’s your turn!” You said

Daryl thought, there’s not much he hasn’t done so this is trying to rack his brain to find out something you have done that he hasn’t… It was hard.

“I never read a book and enjoyed it…” he said

This caused you to chuckle lightly, it was silly that he’d hadn’t enjoyed a book ever… completely opposite of you, books helped you get through the day sometimes.

“Really?? Like never?” You asked

He nodded, letting a smirk on his face at your reaction. He didn’t like you too much but he can’t deny your beauty, especially your smile.. You brought your cup up to your lips and took a swig. You tried to not make a face, trying to mimic what Daryl did but you couldn’t… this shit tasted awful.

“Yuck.. I’ve never liked drinking…” you joked, sticking your tongue out and shivering.

“It ain’t for everyone… I just like the buzz.” He said, sipping on his moonshine willingly. You gagged jokingly.

“Yeah… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this shit.” You said, trying to swallow down the burning sensation as it creeped down your throat.

You guys went back and forth for a bit, Daryl saying something he hasn’t done which caused you to drink and then you saying something you haven’t done causing Daryl to drink. It’s funny how a simple game could bring you two closer together which honestly allowed you to ease up and just sit back for a minute. You weren’t thinking any thoughts but what you haven’t done in your life, it really made you think about how you honestly haven’t really lived.

You liked seeing Daryl smile, you’ve never really been able to see that smile of his but now you were addicted to it. You found yourself cracking stupid jokes just go see it and honestly, this might be the moonshine talking, you couldn’t help the dull ache that it created deep within you.

“Okay hmmm I’ve never…” you thought once again… thinking of any embarrassing thing you haven’t done.

You don’t know what came over you but you just blurted the first thing that came into your head, it was strange… like the moonshine was taking over. Your lips had become loose, not able to control them because you were far too gone for that now.

“I’ve never had sex” you were surprised you even said it and it kinda grossed you out.

You were definitely not yourself right now, you would never willingly say that to anyone. You weren’t ashamed of it but it can be a little embarrassing due to the fact you’re in your 20s and still a virgin. It’s not that you didn’t want to or you were actively trying to not have sex, it’s just something that never crossed your mind ever when you were with a person. You’ve had boyfriends and girlfriends, all of them have tried but you always told them you weren’t ready for it.

You looked up at Daryl, seeing that his facial expression never changed… but instead he lifted his cup to his lips and chugged down his moonshine.

“Sorry I…” you started, not able to finish before Daryl asked a hard hitting question.

“Why not?” He asked, setting his cup down.

You were surprised Daryl even continued the game after that, it was all fun and games… no gross shit until you brought that up. You were embarrassed, wishing you never said anything but honestly intrigued about what Daryl would say about the subject.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, staring down into your moonshine glass. “I've just never been interested enough in someone to do it…”

You looked up at Daryl, making sure he was paying attention to you before you went on. He was staring at you with a different look in his eyes than usual, it wasn’t his usual hard stare he gave everyone. It was softer but still with the same hardness, his pupils were bigger… almost black as he bore them into your skin. When you say you weren’t yourself right now, you meant it. Without even having to rack out your courage from your brain, you looked daryl right in the eyes.

“Until now…” you confessed which created an even deeper ache within you.

Daryl’s eyes stayed on you, not flinching or moving off of you… not even once. You thought maybe he didn’t hear you at first and honestly deep down you wish he didn’t, you were embarrassed at your sudden neediness. Then you thought maybe he didn’t get your hint, maybe you were being too subtle about it. You hoped maybe he would be able to drop it so it would save the embarrassment but what you didn’t know was it lit something inside Daryl.

His blood ran cold when you said that, he watched as you gave him a clueless, innocent look as those filth covered words slipped out of your mouth. Daryl hated how childish you were, how cheery and how you were so optimistic about the world ending… yet he couldn’t shake the thought of you below him as you sucked his dick, he imagined you would be so sloppy with it. He could imagine your drool spill over his cock, making a mess out of yourself. His favorite day dream was you on your hands and knees in front of him as he rammed himself so deep inside you, his hands shoving you down into the pillow as you took his length like the whore you are… or the whore he thought you were.

You being a virgin struck a different feeling into Daryl, you had never been touched before and you never even wanted to be touched… except by Daryl. It was almost as if you waited for him, waited for him to take what was his. He just hates how it had to be this way, after losing everyone and getting drunk on moonshine but Daryl didn’t mind. Daryl had been waiting for this moment since he met you and knowing you’re a virgin was enough to send him off the edge.

“Take your shirt off…” was the only thing he said, suddenly you sobered up.

You were now hyper aware of everything happening in this moment. You could hear the walker outside, you could feel the carpet underneath you and how filthy it was, you could hear every breath that came out of Daryl… they were much deeper than before. You took a moment to let his words linger, making sure you heard him right but after a moment… you did what you were told.

You slowly unbuttoned your shirt, each button showing more and more skin to Daryl causing his breath to hitch. You heated up with every button, finally getting to the final one and then allowing your shirt to slide down your arms. You sat tall, watching Daryl’s eyes scan over your breast. Daryl sat there for a minute, just staring as your face began to heat up more than it already had been.

Then after a moment of hesitation, Daryl stood up and made his way over to where you sat on the floor. You could see how hard he was through his pants, his big cock standing to attention causing your mouth to water slightly.

“You really want this?” He asked, staring down at you as you sat on your knees like an obedient whore you thought you’d never become

You nodded violently, hands scratching at your thighs as you held back the need to touch him. Daryl just chuckled at your actions, running a hand through your hair, getting a good look at your innocence before he completely destroyed you.

“Then you're gonna have to work for it…” he grinned, taking his other hand so he could undo his belt slowly.

You were nervous to say the least, you had dreamed about this for months but it finally freaked you out. Not to mention you’ve never done anything like this, what if you weren’t good enough for him. You watched as he slowly undid his pants, watching as he went teasingly slow. When his pants were successfully undone, he pulled them down so they were down to his knees. You could see his cock straining against his boxers, you couldn’t help but squeeze your legs together for some kind of friction.

Then Daryl shed the last piece of clothing that covered himself, pulling down his underwear which allowed his cock to spring free. You felt a whole world wind of emotions, excitement, nervousness and pleasure all running deep within your bones. He was much bigger than you expected, causing everything wrong to go through your brain. Will it fit? Is it going to rip you open? Will you be able to take him? Daryl saw your nervousness, giving you a reassuring scratch on the head.

“We don’t have to… we can stop now.” He said, lifting your head to look up at him.

He gave you the softest look you had ever seen him give anyone, his fingers danced along your chin as you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. You shook your head, readjusting yourself on your knees but really… you were trying to silence the ache that was affecting your entire body at this point.

“No… I mean, yes I want this I just..” you paused, biting your lip nervously. “I’ve never done this before… like any of it… I don’t know how.”

You tried to explain it the best you could, you thought you sounded stupid but Daryl knew what you meant. Daryl gave you a smirk, setting his hand on his dick as he slowly pumped it… you saw it twitch out of the corner of your eye. Daryl placed his hand back in your hair, not roughly, not trying to force your head down on him but it was comforting. His hand lightly scratched your scalp, trying to ease your nervousness.

“I’ll teach ya, ya can’t really mess it up so don’t worry.” He joked, even despite your nervousness you let out a chuckle.

You stood taller on your knees, coming face to face with his throbbing cock. You watched as Daryl thrusted his cock into his hand, watching as he set a slow pace for it. He engulfed his entire length in his hand, making sure to slide his fingers along the tip at times.

“Since you are a beginner, go ahead and start at the tip.” He spoke, watching as you looked up at him and then down at his cock once more.

You nodded, getting your lips wet as you opened your mouth and attached it to the pink flush tip. You saw a porno or two, seeing how the girls would give the tip kisses and tiny licks to tease the man. You started off making circles with your tongue on the tip, pulling off to set small kisses to it before going back. Daryl’s groans caused you to go a bit deeper, doing the same thing with the top of his cock.

“Good girl…” he groaned out, his hand in your hair giving you a reassuring scratch once again. “Now when ya think yer ready… hollow your cheeks and take as much as you can of me.”

You moaned at the pet name, loving the way he was talking you through it all. You started small once again, taking in small amounts of him. Your tongue went crazy on him, you weren’t quite sure what to do with it but it made his cock twitch in your mouth so you thought maybe you were doing it right. You bobbed your head up and down, each time you took more and more of him in your mouth.

You could feel Daryl tense up, you could see how hard he was trying to stop his hips from bucking… oh how he wanted to watch you choke and slobber all over his cock, but Daryl wasn’t that mean. Your first time was already going to be in a piss stained trailer, he might as well let you take your time with it. Daryl’s hand was now grabbing at your hair, which part of it was to help you bob your head up and down at a good pace, the other part was because your mouth just felt too good on him… he needed to grab something.

“Fuck… y/n, your doing so fucking good.” He moaned, you would have never guessed Daryl Dixon had such pretty moans.

You smiled on his cock, the praise was getting to your head slightly, you would even say it was causing you to get too big of a head. You attempted to take all of him all at once, you just wanted to make him feel good but you completely forgot about the fact you hadn’t done this before, you were still so new to it. You took your mouth almost all the way off before shoving his cock right down your throat, you gagged causing you to retract back from it.

“Woah there…” Daryl said, seeing how your eyes started to water slightly and your lips were rubbed raw from his cock. “Ya can’t take all of me… not yet at least, you have to start slow bunny.”

“I’m sorry…” you said pathetically, you had become so needy and the only thing you wanted to do was make Daryl feel good.

“ ‘s okay, you can try again if you want or we can stop.” He said, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You looked down at Daryl’s spit covered cock, the ache in your cunt was too much to bear now. You didn’t want to continue but you needed to, it felt like you were out of oxygen in the stuffy room you had been in and the only thing that could ease that feeling was Daryl. Even through your embarrassment you wanted to make it up to Daryl and suck the life out of him.

You looked up into Daryl’s eyes, placing your mouth on his cock once more. You bobbed your head at the same pace you had been before, making sure to not take your eyes off Daryl as his eyes closed slightly. You were much slower this time, taking in as much as you could, licking up the small vein that laid on the back of his cock. You tried this time to have a small head about it, not get too cocky so as to not embarrass yourself again.

You had gotten to the point where you couldn’t take anymore, Daryl’s hand in your hair wouldn’t let you go that far anymore. Although seeing you choke on his cock gave him a power rush, he would never make you do it if you couldn’t.

“If you can’t take much more, you can use your hands on the rest.” He stated, reaching for your hand and you gave it to him. He placed your hand on the base of his cock, the small section you could not fit in your mouth. “Keep it at the pace yer mouth is going… there ya go.”

You were doing great so far or at least you thought. His cock felt comfortable in your mouth, although you wanted to go deeper, you wanted him all in your mouth but you knew what happened then. You watched as Daryl gripped into the table behind him, knuckles turning white as he had a violent grip on it. His head was thrown back, his nostrils flared as he tried to control his breathing. You liked what you were doing to him, how hard he had to keep himself contained. Who knew that you could do this to someone like Daryl Dixon.

“Doing so good y/n… fuck ‘m gonna cum..” he groaned, hand gripping harder at your scalp. “Gonna cum all over those tits…”

The idea excited you, the idea of you covered in Daryl’s cum, watching as he covered your tits with his seed. You picked up the already fast pace on his cock, taking him further into your mouth. He had gotten quite good at it, a little over half of his cock was fitted deep within your mouth and you could probably take in more if you really tried.

You could feel Daryl’s cock twitch more and more, his hips starting to buck into your mouth slightly, not enough to gag you on him but enough to feel in the back of your throat. You sucked harder, wanting to see how pretty he looked as he came especially when he came from you sucking his cock.

“Shit.. gonna cum…” he said once more, pulling you off of him with his hand and then placing his hand on his cock. “Pull your bra down… lemme see those pretty tits hm?”

You did as you were told, pulling your bra down so your tits were exposed to him. He gripped his cock harshly, starting his thrust at a fast pace as he looked down at you. Your eyes were lust blown and slightly teary, your mouth was wet with your own spit which had dribbled down onto your tits, your tits heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. Daryl grunted as he thrusted into his hand, his hand that was in your hair reached down to grab one of your breasts.

He fondled it in his hand, he was delicate with it though. Pinching the skin softly as not to hurt you, but his hips snapped violently against his own hand. You watched as his face was engulfed by pleasure, watching as his orgasm took over his body. Daryl thrusted a few more times into his hands as his cock spilled his cum all over your tits, exactly where he said he was. He pumped himself through his orgasm, the ropes of cum landing perfectly on your tits. You were too busy watching as his face looked so angelic as he came on you, doing the most disgusting thing but still looking so pretty while doing it.

Daryl milked himself onto you, almost completely covering you with himself. Daryl slowly came down from his high, cock still throbbing as it became hard again. You could do nothing but watch, watch as Daryl literally lost his mind for 20 seconds and then became his composed self after.

“Good girl… you did good for me.” He breathed out, moving strands of your hair from your face so he can get a good look at you once again. You were so obedient to him, it turned Daryl on to the max. “You still want me to fuck you?”

You nodded, pressing your thighs together once again. The ache just wouldn’t go away without him fucking you, you couldn’t keep yourself contained anymore. If you had to beg Daryl to fuck you, you would in a heart beat. Daryl nodded down at you, looking around the trailer… for something.

“I’m not gonna fuck you on a dirty floor, I’ll go get a sheet for the couch.” He said, walking back into the trailer. Leaving you there with his cum coating your tits.

You were so ready, you didn’t think you could be this ready for anything but you were. You tried to sit still but you couldn’t, you fidgeted on your knees trying to keep yourself from touching yourself then and there. Your nervousness nowhere to be seen, you were suddenly sober and ready for the pretty redneck to go ram you into the floor.

“You ready?” Daryl said from behind you, you were so in your own head you didn’t even realize Daryl had sprawled and put a sheet on the couch already. You looked up at him, seeing him hold out his hand for you to grab.

You looked down at his hand and then back up at him, with a smile, you took his hand in yours. He helped you up onto your feet but that didn’t last long before you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Daryl couldn’t help but chuckle at your eagerness but he didn’t try to stop you, no he just grabbed onto your hips and pulled you closer to him.

You slipped your tongue within his mouth, feeling every crevice of his mouth as his tongue fought with yours. As you were too busy trying to tongue fuck his mouth Daryl had walked you back onto the couch, knocking things off of tables as he did so. He laid you on the couch, your legs wrapped around him tightly. He supported himself with his arms but you pulled him down on top of you fully, wanting to feel his warmth in you as much as you could.

Daryl let it happen, letting you do whatever you needed to make yourself comfortable. Daryl snaked a hand down your body, creeping them into your pants and underwear as he slipped a finger through your slit. The sudden touch on your bundle of nerves caused you to gasp, no one had ever touched you there before and his rough hands had felt they were made for it. After Daryl had collected a good amount of slick on his fingers, he pulled it out of your pants and placed his fingers in his mouth.

“So wet… god can’t wait to fuck you.” He said, pulling you in for another kiss so you could taste yourself.

The makeout session didn’t take too long because as you were too lost in Daryl’s lips, he was pulling the rest of your clothing off along with his. When you had finally pulled away from his lips, you both were completely naked and your bodies were pressed together in one sticky and sweaty mess. Daryl looked down at you as he rubbed his cock between your slit, allowing himself to get as wet as possible.

“Are you ready for me bunny?” He asked, brushing your hair with his hands comfortably so you were feeling as safe as he could.

“I’m ready Daryl…” you whispered, pecking his lips softly.

Daryl loved how soft and sweet you were but he knew what came next, the sting of him stretching you out and the pain of your experience. Daryl wanted this probably as much as you but he hated being the one to take your virginity, he didn’t want to pain you in any way especially if he couldn’t control the pain. Down the road he’d show you good types of pain, how pain can make you feel good but this isn’t one of the pains he would want you to experience.

“It’s gonna hurt but only for a minute okay? You tell me when you want me to stop.” He stated, watching as you nodded.

You were too lust driven to understand the meaning of his words, you weren’t expecting to hurt that bad. Daryl nodded, grabbing onto your hand so you could squeeze it if needed. He lined himself up with your entrance before pushing himself in slightly. He watched as your brows furrowed and your eyes closed, he could tell you were already starting to feel the sting. He went in deeper, hoping it didn’t feel too much different but your yelp proved differently.

“ ‘m sorry..” he whispered, leaving soft kisses on your neck and jaw.

Daryl could feel your hand squeeze his harshly, you took in a harsh breath as the sting continued as he pushed more of himself in. He once again dragged his fingers down your body so he could rub the bundle of nerves, hoping that would take your mind off the pain for maybe a moment so he could push more of himself in you.

You felt like being ripped open but it was a weird good way, it wasn’t something you would like to feel any longer but it felt nice to know It was Daryl Dixon's pretty cock that was causing you this pain. Daryl tried to be quick with it, trying to shove himself in without causing too much pain. His quick work on your clit made it a little less painful, now the pain and pleasure mixing together to make a beautiful feeling deep in your stomach. It was complete hell for Daryl, he was only seconds away from going completely feral and his patients were wearing thin. He kept composure, trying to just focus on the way your face scrunched in pain.

“Are you almost in…” you gasped as he continued to ever so slowly inch into you.

He was almost half way in, he took moments to allow you to adjust to his size here and there but he was trying to make this go as fast as possible so you were able to feel our pleasure. You were soaked to say the least so Daryl was slipping right in, it’s just the pain and your contracting walls that caused his speed.

“Almost there… just a little more bunny.” He said, suddenly liking the pet name he’d given to you.

He continued to slide himself in slowly, only picking up the speed on your clit to make it easier for you all the while he peppered your neck with love bites. Daryl wasn’t a very affectionate man but right now he had a mission to make you feel as safe as he could make you and if he had to break down all his walls, he would. You had started to get a little fidgety, wanting to reject his cock out of you but also wanting him inside you fully… you craved it. Your body was heating up, your eyes filled with tears as the sting became so much and moans had slipped your lips like water out of a faucet.

You had never felt quite like this before, sure you’d touch yourself at night and one time you had dry humped one of your exes but it was nothing like this. You felt so full yet so empty all at the same time, you needed and wanted more even throughout the pain that coursed through your body. When you thought you were going inside, you felt Daryl’s hips fully against yours. You swear you could feel him inside your guts, it was such a beautiful feeling… being stretched out by his cock, the cock you had made cum no more than 10 minutes ago. You were in heaven…

“ ‘m in… just tell me when to move.” He whispered, landing a kiss on your tear streaked face.

You dug your nails into Daryl, trying to wait till the dull sting had stopped. It wasn’t too bad now, after a bit it had become nothing but an annoying ache but you weren’t ready for him to pound you yet. You stayed there, allowing your walls to get used to him. Daryl held back with everything he had, your velvet walls took his cock so well and he couldn’t wait to fuck them until they were worn down. Daryl couldn’t even day dream how good this feeling would feel, not even his hand could mimic the feeling of it.

You had completely molded to him, causing your walls to twitch slightly and your hips to buck into him. You could hear Daryl grunt into your ear as you teased him with your hips, you knew how hard he was trying to not hurt you… you thought it was sweet, so sweet that you wanted him to feel your appreciation.

“ You… can move now..” you said through a strangled moan.

That’s all Daryl needed, he started slow… teasingly slow even though he wanted nothing more than to slam into you. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge already, with the way his hand had taken a slow speed to your clit and how his cock was slowly bucking in and out of you… you could cum in seconds. Daryl kept his pace, his hand still in yours as he so softly pecked your lips.

Your moans filled the room, the annoying ache, the sting, the stretching no longer paining you anymore, it was now just pure pleasure. You were needing Daryl to speed up, you tried to buck your hips into his but your hips were sore and you couldn’t quite keep a good pace before exhausting yourself out. Daryl knew what you wanted though, he saw your face contort from pain to pleasure in a matter of seconds, he knew you were ready for a good pounding.

“I’m gonna move ya okay?” He said, asking for consent before he did pretty much anything.

“I don’t care… just go faster please!” You whined, causing Daryl to chuckle at your needy behavior.

Daryl sat up, seeing you pout as he took himself out. You asked for more but he gave you less, you were shitty but you weren’t upset for long. Daryl manhandled you basically, smacking your butt lightly to give you the hint to turn around. You did what he wanted, turning around in your hands and knees before Daryl pushed you down until only your front was pushed down into the sheets.

You shivered as the cold air hit your exposed cunt, you slightly whined due to the fact you couldn’t see Daryl. You never even thought the situation of you not seeing Daryl would give you any type of distress but here you were, ass up and waiting for Daryl to fuck you. Daryl got himself comfortable behind you, placing his hands on your hips as he looked down at your face pushed into the pillows.

“You okay? Need another pillow or a blanket?” He asked, watching you get frustrated with him.

“Jesus Christ! Daryl just fuck me!!” You yelled, loud enough for the walker outside to hear.

Daryl just chuckled, lining his throbbing cock up with your cunt once more before he pushed himself in again. You were still very much adjusted to his size, it felt like a hole inside you was filled as he did so… which literally happened but felt more hypothetical in the moment. Daryl started with his slow pace once again, this time only staying with it for mere seconds before he sped up. You twisted your hands in the sheets as his cock hit your g-spot every single thrust.

You were already on the edge before, the knot in your stomach had become annoyingly unbearable as Daryl sped his thrusts up. You couldn’t handle it, you felt like a hungry mad man who had just come across water for the first time in years. You could do much to stop yourself from coming up, you could only scream Daryl’s name at the top of your lungs as your cunt fluttered violently on his cock. Your vision went out, then your hearing and then you felt Daryl’s hands in your hair once again.

He pulled you back to earth with a single pull of your hair as he fucked you through your first orgasm. He spread your cunt apart with one hand as he continued his fast pace, his hips slapping against your ass every single time. You didn’t want him to stop, not even if your sensitive clit was begging for the abuse on it to stop.

“Fuck your so tight for me bunny ain’t ya? You needed to be fucked by my cock huh?” His words cause a deep desire within you, causing a wave of wetness to pour out of you once more.

Daryl was now at an animalistic pace, his hands now bruisingly gripped onto your hips as he thrusted you back into his cock. You moaned out a few “yes”’s and “need you.”’s as a reply to him but really it was the only thing you could say right now. Your mind was too clouded with his cock to be able to think any coherent thoughts, you had quite literally became a fuck toy for him.

His abuse on your cunt continued, feeling your cunt contract on his cock as your second orgasm within the last 5 minutes started to stir up within your stomach. It only took a few thrusts from Daryl before it came undone again, he felt your cunt spasm once again on his cock. Daryl was close, so fucking close but he needed you to cum again before he could cum deep inside you.

“Just one more time bunny… need you to cum on my cock one more time…” he groaned, not stopping his hips as you came once again on his cock.

His words made yet another knot form within your belly, not waiting for your second orgasm to stop before moving onto the next. You were legit on fire, every one of your senses tingling, your throat burned from the screams that erupted deep down inside of you, your eyes were wet with your salty tears, your skin laced with a small sheet of sweat that seemed to pour out of your. Every inch of your body screamed at you to stop but also all at the same time wanted more, mixing pleasure and pain together as you got higher and higher to your third orgasm.

Daryl grabbed onto your shoulders, lifted you up off the couch so you were unbelievably close to him. Your back was flush against his chest, he held you there, locking your hips in place as he thrusted deeper and harder into your cunt. Your body was screaming for release at this point, wanting nothing more than to explode under the pressure but you couldn’t get the push you needed to send yourself off the edge.

“I c-can’t…. Fuck Daryl!” You whined, the knot in your stomach so unbelievably tight.

You felt you were going to explode, you shook violently in the hands of Daryl as he thrusted relentlessly into you. Daryl slid his hand down to your clit, giving you an overwhelming amount of pleasure as you let out strangled moans and probably every curse word possible in this moment.

“You can bunny… your doing so fucking good for me, just cum on my cock one more time…” he whispered in your ear, lightly biting the lobe of it.

His words were exactly what you needed, that was the push that sent you over the edge. Suddenly the knot snapped, it didn’t feel anything like it did before though. It sent intense shocks through your body, every inch of your body screaming as it did so. You let out a scream, scratching at Daryl’s arm that was still placed roughly on your hips. You threw your head back over his shoulder, feeling your cunt shoot out fluids.

“God damn… fuck y/n!” Daryl moaned, thrusting only once more before spilling himself inside you.

Daryl’s cum filled you up to the brim, shoving his cock deep inside you so it can coat every inch of your insides. You watched as Daryl came, peaking at him through half closed eyes and seeing his face once again light up with pleasure. Daryl fucked not only you but himself through your orgasms, allowing you both to come down from your highs before he slid his now soft cock out of you.

Daryl held you for a minute, allowing you to go limp in his arms. Daryl wouldn’t say he was in love with you, he didn’t quite know what that felt like but the way he grabbed onto him now, half conscious as he held you softly, he would say you meant something to him. This moment all he wanted to do was protect you, he would kill anyone or anything that even tried to harm you… that terrified him.

“Uh… I’ll go check to see if that shower still works, so you can get cleaned up.” Daryl said, delicately placing you down on the couch.

You were still out of it, you could feel the moonshine creeping back up on you as your head pounded and your stomach twisted. You were plain exhausted as you watched Daryl get up and start collecting his clothes, pulling up his underwear and pants back onto his legs.

“Wait… Daryl?” You called out to him, sitting up so you could see him clearer.

“Yeah?” He answered, not even looking at you as he collected his clothes.

The thought saddened you but the only thing you thought was about how this was a one night stand to Daryl, his efforts to leave, to make you clean up after him, to be by yourself after you gave yourself to him. Daryl didn’t mean to make you feel like that but he didn’t do feelings, so when an ounce of feeling for you creeped up on him… he freaked. He suddenly felt like the world was collapsing under him and if that’s what love felt like, he didn’t want it.

“What does this mean for us?” You asked, seeing how the question left him frozen.

“What do you mean?” He tried to play dumb so hopefully you would just drop it, he begged of you to let him fuck you and leave so he wouldn’t have to deal with his feelings.

“I mean… I told you I haven’t felt this way about anyone before, I didn’t just give you my virginity just because..” you stated, eyes slightly watering as you could see yourself alone already.

Daryl didn’t mean to make you cry, he didn’t want to make you cry ever. God damn he just wanted to be alone now, he thought about you all the time, there wasn’t a single day he didn’t. He told himself that he hated you, you and your stupid optimism but it was just a way to trick himself because he knew he loved that about you. You were so happy and so hopeful, he was the complete opposite of that, and what do they say about the opposite? How do they attract each other?

“I ain’t good with labels” was all he said, not explaining what he meant by that.

It made your heart break slightly, you felt the same way about Daryl but you saw the way he pushed you away. He almost never allowed you to get close to him, ever. So you tried to push down the thoughts you had of him, even the dirty ones you would get at night. Hearing how maybe the man you had fallen in love with was willing to fuck you and than leave, it broke your heart. Daryl picked up on your change of posture, fuck he really didn’t mean it to come out like that.

“But this ain’t a one night stand if that’s what yer thinking.” He reassured me, hoping to get you to stop being so sad. “I do care about you…”

The confession made your heart flutter, you weren’t there what this meant, if this’ll be the start of something or you’ll just remain each other’s fuck buddies. What you did know was what the world meant to you, every word that left his mouth meant something to you. You knew that was his way of confessing he did have feelings for you, causing a big smile to appear on your face.

“You know what,” you started, wrapping yourself up in the sheet. “I’ll take it…”

#daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon fanfiction #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead

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estrellami-1 · 10 months

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If I Should Stay

Y’all are the best. Seriously. I love y’all. One quick note: if y’all reblog, please include the tag “#if I should stay” (mind the capital i) so people can find the rest of the parts! Thanks so much!!! ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Eddie does end up following Robin because he does not, in fact, have a death wish.

Even if, apparently, he dies in the future. Go figure.

She instructs him to grab his guitar. “Why in the fuck,” he starts, then reconsiders when Robin whips around to stare at him. “Anyone ever tell you you’re terrifying?”

Robin shrugs a shoulder. “Not as much as they should.”

She stashes her bike in the back of his van and directs him to the Harrington residence, where Steve’s waiting, arms crossed, wondering smile on his face. “Miracle worker,” he calls, and Robin laughs as she grabs her bike from the back.

“Hate to break it to ya, Dingus, but you’re just not scary.”

“I’m plenty scary. I’ve got a nail bat.”

“Right, because that would beat Nance’s sawed-off in a fight.”

“Hey, it could! You never know! They’ve got different ranges!”

Robin rolls her eyes at Eddie, like she’s asking if he can believe it, which. No. No he can’t.

“Sorry,” he says, regretting everything when they both look at him. “What the actual fuck is happening?”

“Come inside,” Steve says, suddenly all business. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.” His eyes find Robin’s. “One of ‘em took Barb last night.”

“Fuck,” Robin whispers.

“Yup. Will’s been missing for two days. Maybe, if we get down there soon enough…”

“Let’s hope so. Which one of the rugrats found El?”

“I think they all did? But Mike’s the one who took her in.” He shakes his head, mouth a grim line. “I saw Dustin today. They’re kids, Robs.”

“So are we,” she reminds him, heaving a tired-sounding sigh. “A buncha kids fighting real-life monsters.”

“Monsters?” Eddie parrots.

Somehow they end up inside while Steve goes to pick up the Party. Who the party is, Eddie doesn’t know. Just like he doesn’t know why he’s in Steve’s Harrington’s house with someone who isn’t Steve Harrington.

“Who’s the Party?” He asks Robin. “And why am I here again? If I die, doesn’t that mean I shouldn’t be here? Should be somewhere far, far away instead?”

“The Party’s a group of kids Steve babysits. They’re the first ones to go through this whole mess. And admittedly, you’re here partially because you can help, and partially for selfish reasons.” She offers him a lopsided grin. “Believe it or not, watching you die was kinda traumatic.”

“Right,” he says slowly. “And you and Steve? How do you know each other? He and Nancy Wheeler are the talk of the town, and if he’s stepping out-”

“He wouldn’t,” she says harshly. “Ever.” She takes a breath. “Two years from now, or a year ago, he and I work together in a mall. Long story short, we get captured and tortured by Russians. High on truth serum, I tell him I’m a lesbian in the bathroom, we help take down the big bad, and boom. Instant platonic soulmates.”

Eddie gapes at her. “What the fuck.”

“Just about,” she nods. “Oh, and the kids love D&D, so you’ll have plenty to talk about. They’re little shits but they’re also kinda great once you get to know them.”

Eddie stares at her. The front door opens, and Steve walks in, followed by a gaggle of preteens and Nancy Wheeler.

“Robs,” Steve says, not slowing his stride as he begins taking the stairs two at a time. “Bathroom. Now.”

Robin grimaces. “Breakdown time,” she murmurs to Eddie, then follows Steve, leaving everyone else staring at each other.

“So,” Eddie says. “I heard you like D&D?”

A dark-haired kid who looks suspiciously like Nancy narrows his eyes. “You play?”

“Play!” Eddie repeats. “I don’t just play, my young friend, I am the greatest Dungeon Master this side of the Mississippi.”

A curly-haired kid begins to grin. “I think we should put that to the test.”

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Fic Taglist: @blondlanfear @do-you-want-something-more @little-gae-shit

#if I should stay #eventual steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson #he’s the curly-haired boy at the end #in case it wasn’t obvious lmao #time travel au #fix it fic #starambles

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90ekz · 5 months

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HANDY(WO)MAN

connie springer x fem!black!reader

in which: connie never lets you jerk him off, and you show him what he’s missing.

tags: hand kink, bondage/shibari, sub!connie, black feminine reader, nicknames (princess, baby, ma), snowballing (im sorry.)

notes: been gone so long and my first fic back is about this bum :/ i missed y’all tho lol

“pleaseeee con! this would be a dream come true!” you beg to connie as your head rests in his lap. he makes a face as you mention this fact, still not understanding the appeal in all this.

see, in your almost year of dating, connie has never let you touch his cock with your hands. blowjobs? he welcomes them, just no hands. titfucking? great, take your bra off, but handjobs? he’ll get all red in the face and lock himself in the bathroom for hours if you even get close to it.

you can’t pull off his pants for him, or put your hand on his thigh, or tug him by his belt—yeah, he’s that squeamish.

“why are you so obsessed with jacking me off anyway? we do everything else in bed already—“

“exactly! we do everything else kinky in the damn world, just lemme give you a handjob, boy.” you flick the middle of his forehead lightly, watching as a blush spreads across his cheeks. you really wanted to go through with this, and he could tell.

to be clear, connie is by no means shy about sex or his own dick, considering the things you two have done in bed. despite this…

handjobs scared him.

it isn’t the act of getting one, so much as it is his fear of cumming as soon as your pretty little nails wrap around his cock. your hands were his weakness. whenever you touch him, he has to run to the bathroom just to keep from ruining his pants in front of you.

connie eyes your hands that are currently playing with the strings of his sweatpants. you’re giving him those doe eyes that you know he can’t resist, and his cock is already hardening in his pants.

“only if you want to, of course. but ya know… don’t knock it ‘till ya try it.”

“…you’re real annoying, you know that? fine, do your thing.” he smirks down at you as your own smile widens, and you spring up and begin to pepper kisses along his cheeks and neck, whispering to him how much he’s gonna love this.

somehow, none of that begging prepared for what you had in store for him.

“baby, are you sure all of this is necessary? this is… a lot for just a handjob..”

connie felt his cheeks rapidly heating as you tied not only his hands, but his arms flush against his back as well. he could barely move his upper half, due to the nature of the ropes. they extended all the way up to his biceps, and looped around to his waist and chest in a way that restricted most of his movement.

he’d always loved bondage in bed, and this was a bit excessive for his tastes, but he couldn’t complain with the way your eyes were twinkling with excitement.

“i gotta make sure you don’t try to ‘run’ like you claim i always do. you gon’ take this shit.” you lay your head on his waistband, trying not to sound condescending as he turns red.

you start slow, your hands run along his bare chest a bit first, eventually moving down his abs. the sight of your fresh set of acrylics (that he paid for; what a man) with a “C” in cursive on your middle finger sliding down his body made his dick throb.

your hands were perfect to connie. he adored everything, the size, your knuckles that were a few shades darker than the rest, your nails—even when you let them grow out a little too long, the rings that decorate them, it all just made him so weak.

at first (much to his displeasure), you just massage him through his underwear, letting him adjust to the feeling first. he lets out a few grunts and his arms instinctively buck against the restraints.

“…ma, you gon’ joystick my shit all day or you gon’ get to work?”

“don’t be a queen. i’m having my fun, so just sit back and enjoy princess.” you hold in a laugh at the whine that slips out of his mouth because of the nickname. you rotate your palm against the head of his cock, still not bothering to take off his ethikas just yet.

connie’s breath comes in a little sharper when you repeat this motion, which makes you smile. he was reacting just as you wanted him to. he takes a deep breath just as you slip your hand under his waistband and tug at the base of his cock.

“haah—oh fuck!” his hips snap into your grip as you properly jerk his cock now. you tug his underwear down, and smile when he springs to life.

meanwhile, connie is trying to find any excuse to not focus on the way your hands were pleasing him. you begin to find your rhythm and he’s making sounds you’d never heard from him before. you were doing this shit on purpose, hell, your nails were done and scraping his thighs, your fingers accessorized with golden rings on each finger and currently adding a whole new feeling to the motion on his cock.

your movements were slow and deliberate, yet so fucking good.

“oouuu shit—slow d-down!”

“‘m not even going fast, con.” you chuckled, completely enamored by your boyfriends moans. you run your teeth against the skin of his neck, your free hand holding his jaw in place. you wanted him to see what he’d been missing all this time.

connie’s eyes squeeze shut with every stroke on his sensitive dick, but you reminded him to focus. there was something so embarrassing about this compared to everything else the two of you did in bed, yet he couldn’t put his finger on it.

all that was on his mind was: “don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum.”

your thumb grazes over his slit and suddenly he’s forgetting all of his previous thoughts, spurts of cum shooting out of his tip all over your hands.

“awww, there you go baby, that’s it…” you peppered his face with kisses through his orgasm. you were a bit surprised, since you didn’t even notice how close he was to cumming. connie twitches in your grasp as overstimulation sets heavy in his bones.

“okay—okayyyy, baby! too much, shitshitshitshit-“

you giggled as you released him, watching his abdomen twitch with the waves of his orgasm rolling over him. a smug grin rested on your face as he came down, rolling his eyes when he caught you looking at him.

“don’t.”

“bae, look at my hand! you liked ittttt.”

you had a point—your fingers were completely covered in your boyfriends load, now dripping onto his lap. he’d never cum that much before, you were honestly impressed. you licked a small stripe onto your tongue before pressing your lips against his. connie gasped against your mouth with wide eyes before relaxing, his tongue swirling around yours.

you pulled away, watching the blush bloom on his face.

“ewww, nigga you gay. you just ate nut!” connie smacks his lips dramatically, exclaiming that it was your fault.

“you ain’t never jackin’ me off ever again.”

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tojis-favorite · 1 year

Text

Being Spoiled by Toji>>>

Throwing your head back into the bed you sigh as you put a pout on your glossy lips. “Y’all I miss my man!” Your friends all rolled their eyes as you been saying the same shit all day.

“No one wants to hear that shit bitch go tell Toji to come pick your ass up then.” She said looking into the mirror with her curling iron trying to create the body wave effect on her hair.

“I’m about to call him right now since you wanna call me a bitch, bitch!” You laughed while picking up your phone and going to FaceTime Toji.

The FaceTime ringtone rang as you waited for him to pick up which he did after the second ring. “Hey pretty, what’s up?” “Toji you should come pick me up. I miss you.” You explained while your friends laughed at the way you were being.

“ I can’t right now pretty girl I’m on my way about to hang and with Gojo and them” dramatically sighing you looked into your camera “Gojo and them don’t fuck you like I do so come pick me up please” A deep chuckle rang through your phone.

“You're right about that, I’ll pick you and your friends up that way you aren’t the only girl there.” “Thank you baby I’ll see you when you get here!” You said happily hanging up the phone and telling your friends to get ready.

“I’m ready to see Gojo’s fine ass.” One of your friends said as she looked around and in her bag for an outfit.

Not even twenty minutes later Toji was outside your friend's apartment blasting Homebody by Lil Durk (a/n I love this song!). Getting into the car Toji turns to you, putting his soft lips on yours in a kiss before giving you a bag.

“Thank you Toji.” You said as you took the steak bowl from qdoba out the bag along with a fork and started to eat it. A couple of minutes later you arrived at Gojo house and you all made your way inside seeing that Nanami, Geto, and Gojo were already there.

An hour later everyone was having a good time as you all were in the living room, laughing and watching whatever sports game that was playing on tv. You weren’t really paying attention though, what did have your attention was how great your boyfriend was looking.

He had a black shirt on that was kind of tight so you could see his muscles through it, paired with some gray jeans. He accessorized his outfit with a silver chain around his neck with some diamond earrings. Finishing the look off with his hair looking wet which made you wet.

“Toji can you take me to the bathroom please?” you asked him as you got up from his lap and held your hand out. Standing up he takes your hand and leads you upstairs to the closet bathroom standing by the door waiting for you to go in.

Opening the door you grab his hand pulling him into the bathroom and closing the door and locking it. Reaching under your dress you pull your panties off as you look into Toji eyes that are starting to get filled with lust.

Sitting on the counter you spread your legs as you started to rub your clit, the sound of your arousal spreading through the bathroom. “Toji fuck me please.” You begged looking at him as he held a smirk on his face.

“You are so fucking spoiled y/n I need to get you out of that shit.” He said while he started to unbuckle his pants pulling them down along with his boxers revealing his cock with a bead of pre-cum dripping on the side of it the vines poking out of it and the tip of his cock a light red color waiting to get inside of you.

Arching your back your eyes roll in the back of your head as he inches his cock inside of you, hearing Toji hiss at the contact before he started to pulling your dress down and attaching his mouth to your boob feeling his tongue flick against your nipple as he started to pick up his pace.

“Daddy, don’t go too fast, you know I can’t take it.” Toji lets go of your boob with a string of saliva connecting to him as he did. Wrapping his hand around your neck he brought his mouth to your ear. “You going to take all of daddy’s dick today I don’t give a fuck.” He finished off with burying himself inside you as he started to hit you with slow strokes making you feel all of him.

“Fuck Toji why are you doing this to me?” you cried as the pleasure felt to good while he laughed in your face. “Why am I doing this to you? You wanted to be fucked, right? That's what I’m doing to your spoiled ass” He taunted taking one of your hands and pressing it at the bottom of your abdomen so you could feel him come in and out of you.

“You feel that? What am I doing right now baby?” He asked but you were not in the right state of mind to answer any questions. Lightly slapping his hand across your face, Toji asked you the question again. “Fuck! Your fucking me daddy, your fucking me so good.” You exclaimed as you started to see white, your orgasm creeping up on you.

“Exactly so cum on my dick with your spoiled ass” All you could hear was the squelching of his cock in your pussy as you came hard with the dam in your lower abdomen breaking as your squirt all over Toji’s cock. “Fuck you are so nasty you squirted all over me with your sexy ass” Toji finished off cuming inside of you attaching his lips to yours as he sucked on your tounge saliva covering both of your mouths.

a/n did y’all like this? should I do more?

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cavillsbitch · 1 year

Text

Are You Sure?

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner X BAU!Fem!Reader (use of y/n)

Summary: You find yourself in a very precarious situation with your freshly divorced boss…

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI!!! Smut ahead!!! p in v sex, protected sex, detailed descriptions of sex, let me know if i missed any

A/N: This is coming at y’all out of nowhere, I have been stewing on a series and in lieu of me not having time yet to get started on that, this was born. Also, sorry if there are any weird spaces below… mobile app post hehehehehehe. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.3k

—

Of all the places you thought you might be this Friday night, naked underneath your boss in his bed wasn’t one of them.

The only thing you could hear was your own panting breath and the soft sound of his hips connecting with yours as he buried himself into you over and over again. You could barely think straight, one hand gripping his sheets and the other holding onto him for dear life. A little while ago, the two of you were out with the team for drinks after a case, and Hotch could tell you weren’t really feeling it. He’d offered to give you a ride home, and somewhere along the way you’d rerouted to his for a nightcap. Neither of you were particularly drunk, but you were thankful for the liquid confidence (and his) when he made the first move. He’d asked repeatedly if it was okay and if you’d wanted him to stop, knowing that he was your boss and that you knew he’d just finalized his divorce from Haley. You seemed to notice his flirting (that Emily and Derek continually pointed out to you, no matter how many times you’d brushed them off and said they were seeing something that wasn’t there) a little bit when him and Haley were separating, but you’d never ever think he was actually attracted to you, let alone to the point where he’d want to sleep with you, and yet…

The feeling of him inside you was more than you could have ever fantasized about (and you did fantasize about it). Not only did he take his time devouring you first, making you come twice with his mouth and fingers, but he made sure you were well enough aroused to be in nothing but total ecstasy when he was ready to fuck you. Every single stroke felt so fucking good. He was perfect. Well… perfectly sized for pleasure. Great in bed. Not perfect. Not… whatever.

“H-Holy… shit, Hotch…” your eyes screwed shut and your jaw fell slack as you heard him chuckle and groan.

“I think… we’re at the point where you can… call me Aaron, darling… don’t you think?” his pace slowed a bit, truthfully because he was close and didn’t want to be finished just yet, but he wanted to give you a moment to respond to him.

You opened your eyes and found his. God, what a dangerous moment. The look is his eye as he lazily fucked into you wasnt anything you could have prepared yourself for. You tried avoiding eye contact this whole time, and you were almost successful. You knew what would happen if you held his gaze, and here you were. You knew you’d be confronted with thoughts that you’d been successfully suppressing for a long while now, thoughts you’d only let brew when you allowed yourself to think about your boss in a way that you knew you had no right to, especially because they began well before he was even separated from his now ex-wife. The desire to open up to him right now about how you feel was right on your tongue. You wanted to tell him how sexy he looked with his hair all messed up, especially from your fingers running through and pulling it as he ate you out. You wanted so badly to tell him that his face looks much better being flushed from sex rather than being flushed from your typical daily compliments. Dare you tell him that you think you love him? What a stupid, stupid idea. You decided that it’s definitely best not to say anything, maybe ever, and just respond to what he asked you.

“Are you…” you stopped to sigh, the pleasure was still too much and you wanted to last for him, “… are you sure?”

You watched his eyes half-lid as he brought your right leg to rest on his shoulder. He leaned down to you further, allowing himself a new angle to thrust into you. His pace picked up again, and this time, you saw fucking stars. You tried, but couldn’t help the loud sound of your pleasure escape from your throat. You’ve never been fucked like this, and you knew he could probably tell, which you decided you’d curse yourself for later.

You could feel the air from his lips as he spoke right next to your ear, “Does it feel like I’m sure, Y/N?”

You nodded quickly, your arms now coming around him under his arms to hold on to his back, surely leaving marks with your nails. “Y-Yes… God Aaron, yes.”

You couldn’t help but notice that he seemed to be affected by your use of his first name, responding with only a low and breathy moan. He drove you so close to your third orgasm, and you could tell he was close too. His name fell from your lips again as you tried to speak, “I’m… Aaron I-I think I’m gonna..”

He panted and kept his pace, “I’ve got you, sweetheart, g-give it to me.”

The moment that your orgasm hit you nearly blinded you for a few seconds. The brightness of the pleasure your body felt was something you were sure was once in a lifetime. It affected your entire body, legs now shaking and back arched against the mattress. The pleasure kept coming as Aaron thrust into you. You didn’t even hear yourself nearly weep as you came, your pussy contracting strongly around Aaron’s rigid cock.

“That’s it, that’s a good… good girl,” Aaron stuttered as he followed close behind you with his own peak. His thrusts became sloppy, still trying to ride you through your high, as he drove into you once more with a loud groan. You whimpered as you came down, still feeling yourself ebb through pleasure as Aaron stayed inside you. The two of you breathed heavily together, locked eyes as Aaron smiled lazily at you. Goddammit. You were so fucked. Fucked.

He gestured toward your leg on his shoulder, silently asking for permission to move you so he could adjust and start to clean himself up. You nodded, trying not to make a sound as his cock left you. You didn’t think you were quite ready to move yet, but you tried to at least scooch yourself up by your elbows to begin coming back to reality.

Aaron stood, taking off the condom while making his way toward the bathroom in his bedroom. You watched him, getting a more normal view of his naked body, and for some reason you felt guilty for looking.

You shook your head, pushing the feeling away as you looked for your clothes on the floor. As you sat up, Aaron came out of the bathroom and grabbed a pair of sweats to put on. You stood, “Do you mind if I…” you gestured toward the bathroom asking silently.

Aaron smiled again, “Of course not, whatever you need. I have extra toothbrushes in the bottom right drawer,” he began walking toward the door with you, showing you, “If you want to shower, I have extra towels here.”

You nodded, deciding that would probably be a good idea. Smiling at him, you thanked him. He held your gaze, brushing your hair behind your ear, and leaned down to kiss you. It was brief, but surprising. He pulled away from you with a goofy looking smirk on his face, leaving you in the bathroom.

After your shower, you left the bathroom in a towel, and found your clothes folded nicely on the armchair in the corner of the bedroom. Aaron was in bed, reading glasses on, looking at a file by the light of his bedside table lamp. He looked up to you as you emerged, but you’d already made your way to the pile of clothes and started to get dressed.

“You can borrow something of mine to sleep in, if you need,” he said. You could tell this was his way of asking the question, ‘are you staying?’ and you weren’t sure what your response should be. Obviously he wouldn’t have framed it that way if he didn’t want you to stay, but did he feel obligated to offer? You knew you didn’t really have time to think about it, so you decided not to.

“I think I’m going to call an uber back to my place, actually. I’ve got some things to take care of pretty early tomorrow.”

Aaron was very good at his job. Aaron could absolutely tell that you probably don’t have something to do tomorrow that early, and that you don’t want to stay over. You hope he can also tell that it’s not necessarily because you don’t want to, but because you aren’t 100% comfortable yet, even if you don’t get a chance to become comfortable.

He set down his file and stood, “Let me drive you, don’t pay for an uber.” He made his way to grab a t-shirt and slipped on comfortable slipper-like shoes to wear in the car.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind getting an uber, Aaron, I don’t want to make you leave just to drive me home.”

Grabbing a jacket from his closet, he shrugged it on and walked over toward you. Without warning, he leaned down to your ear, delicately pushing your hair on the opposite side over your shoulder and caging you in with his hand then on the wall behind you, “Does it feel like I’m sure… Y/N?” he smiled at you slyly as he pushed himself off of the wall and walked past you out of the bedroom. You felt heat rise in your tummy and cheeks as you sighed and shook your head. What the hell were you getting yourself into? Following him, you grabbed your bag, slipped on your coat and shoes, and followed him to the car.

The short drive to your apartment was overall quiet, but as you were turning the corner onto your street, you knew you had to start the conversation. “Sorry for not staying the night… to be completely honest I wasn’t expecting you to offer.”

Aaron shifted to lean on the center console and nodded, “It’s alright, I know that tonight’s events overall seemed a bit unexpected. Hopefully you’re not dissapointed, though.” You turned to him, noticing the cocky smirk on his lips. Asshole.

You rolled your eyes and he laughed. There was a beat of silence before you spoke again. “Are we… do you want to just act as if nothing happened tonight? At work, I mean… and outside of work if that’s what you want.”

You wanted to smack yourself in the face for letting your thoughts out so freely. Your anxiety surrounding this part of the situation definitely was getting the better of you, and you weren’t sure what he wanted, which made things so much worse. As the car slowed in front of your building, Aaron put the car in park as you waited for his response. You knew he was thinking about what he wanted to say, which obviously made you even more nervous.

“Y/N, I know you realize that… this is a slightly complicated situation.” You nodded, urging him to continue, “I need you to understand that since Haley and I separated… it’s taken a lot of my own will power to keep myself from you.”

Everyone on the team knew that one of its strongest members was its leader, Aaron Hotchner. Hearing him confess that he’s had a hard time keeping himself away from you was a statement you could never have expected. You knew he was flirtatious toward you, no matter how much you denied it to yourself. You knew he was soft for you, you knew he favored you in appropriate ways, and you knew that the team noticed. You just wished that you let yourself see it. Maybe you’d have to start, that is, if he wanted you to.

“I… I loved and still have love for Haley, she is the mother of my son and the woman that I thought I would love for my entire life. Coming to terms with that not being the case has been hard. I would do anything for Jack, you know that. I don’t mean to tell you things you already know, but while things are still being worked out custody wise, and while we work out a way to tell the team and… Strauss, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to pursue you publicly. I need you, though, to understand that I want to when I can, if you’ll let me… and that I’d like to continue to see you privately, if that’s something you want.” Another beat of silence, “I like you… more than I should, more than I care to admit to myself. I think about you, I want to be around you when I can be. I… want you.”

You nodded, trying to hide a smile. “May I speak freely, sir?”

Something in his eyes seemed to darken at the formality, “You may, agent.”

“I want you, I have for a long time. I would really like to continue… whatever this is, whatever you want this to be, however you want to.”

The lustful look in Aaron’s eye turned briefly into fondness, you believe, if you caught it right. He reached for your hand and gave it a light squeeze, “I know this isn’t ideal for you, and I know it will be hard to keep this from the team. Are you sure?”

You adjusted yourself to lean into him and kiss him unexpectedly with fervor, a kiss that made him brace himself on the steering wheel and grasp the back of your head for reassurance. He grunted as you leaned him further back, returning the kiss so fiercely that you had half a mind to ask him inside with you.

You let yourself pull back just slightly to speak, lowly but clearly, “Does it feel like I’m sure, Aaron?”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #hotch #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner smut #hotch smut #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner reader insert

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sstvrnioloo · 1 month

Text

"i'll beat her bitch ass." - c.s

femvolleyballplayer!y/n x chris

warnings: cursing, crying, intentional lowercase, no grammar used (intentional), past injury, use of y/n (sorry?)

summary: it’s the semi-finals of the biggest volleyball tournament of the year and y/n feeling great at first but 2 people who were supposed to be there didn’t show upーthen after her game she gets the worst news of her life. will it affect her gameplay for the tournament?

this is set in some random ass au that i can’t really explain😭😭

p.s sorry to people named amelia, no hate to y’all !💗

don’t like don’t read !!

find some other shit to do.

not proofread (a bitch don’t got no time for that shit)

this is my work and i do not approve of plagiarism in any way. i also do not approve of reposting my work onto other apps or anything of the idea. SSTVRNIOLOO 2024.

a/n: HEYY so this is your surprise fic ive been working onnnn ~ this could be a series but idk yet 🤷🏾‍♀️ also my laptop stopped working so i don’t have the option of typing anymore, so it’ll be on my phone or ipad. (mostly ipad though) 💔

wc: 1.1k

happy reading loviess !

ೃ༄

waking up feeling great, but then remembering about my volleyball game in the semi-finals, i felt nervous. i hop out my bed and start walking to my bathroom.

heading over to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and do my daily skincare.

i grab my jersey from a hanger in my closet, closing the closet door after equipping the clothing item i needed.

bringing the jersey to my head, pulling it over my head, and the jesey laying tight on my torso. the red and blue complemented each other well and suited my natural complexion.

seizing my knee pads, arm sleeves, and leg brace and shoving them into my sports bag. i anxiously fumble with the zipper; failing many times to zip it up but succeeding after attempt six.

going down my steps, i pull out my phone and go to me and chris' texts.

y/n

hey baby are you almost here?

read: 2:03pm

chris💗

yeah ill be there in 5

read: 2:04pm

y/n

alright see you soon baby💕

read: 2:05pm

i shove my phone back into my sports bag and wait for my boyfriend to pick me up.

ೃ༄

i look around in the crowd; searching for the two people who said they’d be here and wouldn’t miss it for the worldーmy parents who are fucking liars.

it was the semi-finals of the biggest college volleyball tournament of the year and i was excited.

until i saw two empty chairs waiting to filled by no one. but i saw my friends and my biggest supporterーmy boyfriend of two years: chris. he was there for every game, there to pick me up from practice; whatever i needed. i loved him more than anything.

the stadium was fullーspecifically 23,000 people. it was sold out and i see a sea of people wearing our school colors: red and blue.

everybody was here: from alumni, parents, and students. i was a tiny bit nervous because i’d never seen so many people come to watch our school play.

but after all, it was the semi-finals.

i scanned and searched the crowd and found the triplets, and my friends: lauren and angelina.

i met up with my teammates at the bench and we went over our game plan. i look over at the opposing team and see my biggest rival.

amelia. the little fucking bitch that plays foul. the snarkiest grin decorating her stupid face.

last season she almost permanently injured me over one pre-season gameーi was hospitalized for 3 fucking months and she just laughed about it and acted like she didnt know what i was talking about. that bitch could have injured me so badly that i coulda been kept in the hospital longer, or permently.

i scanned the front row and once i found him, chris doing our secret messageーblowing a kissーwhich means “you got this, i love you, and kill their asses”.

doing our team chant and reviewing our lineup. my position was spiker; specifically outside hitter. so that means i was main hitter: who got most of the sets.

meghan; my setterーwho was also one of my best friends, did our secret handshake and communicated with hand gestures that the opposing team doesn't know: which in turn gives us the opportunity to fix a plan during the game.

ೃ༄

everyone was set in their correct position and the sea of people went silent. it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. the first whistle blew and i locked in.

it’s you, the ball, and your teammates. nothing else matters right now.

the first serve of game and its already a long rally.

the perfect set comes from meghanーdirectly to me,

i spike the volleyball and the only sound heard in whole the stadium was the loud smack of my palm hitting the ball straight down to the floor on the opponent's side.

it went to amelia and she dove for it but missed.

i let out a little giggle as her face twisted into an furious one. i loved pissing her offーand each time i do, its payback for her injuring me.

ೃ༄

whilst jumping to block a deep incoming set dump, lorelai; one of our team's middle blockers, landed wrong on her ankle and broke it.

she was such a good blocker and which now she had to exit the game due to her ankle, left me in a state of disappointment.

another one of our other middle blockers, yasmine, traded spots for lorelai. she wasnt as good but still played well and got the job done.

i look over at the crowd and see the triplets and my two friends holding a banner that spelled out "let's go y/n". i cheesed at the bannerーbut still with a stupidly wide grin on my face.

ೃ༄

it was down to the final minute of the game and the crowd was on their feet.

i was serving. and hell, i was scared i was gonna mess it all up. my jump-serve was excellent, but i was in shambles when it came to the final seconds of a game; even if i wasnt playing.

throwing the ball into the air as the sea of people that gaped at my every move. running after it and jumping in the air and cocking my arm backーswinging it at the ball, hitting it far left to a weaker player on the opposing team.

scoring an ace,

"all ace !!"

my team cheered. they lost. fuck you amelia.

ೃ༄

amelia scoffed, flipping me off and walking over, slapping me over apparently "cheating". also telling me that chris didnt love me and i was just a good fuck.

and that's where i dont play.

shits about to go down.

"i'll beat her bitch-ass."

extra: guys i felt so much relief releasing your surpise fic <33

also dont play wit y/nnnnnnnn she gon beat amelia's ass

now if i wake up to an activity page of who-knows-how-many thingies its better than christmas morning ~ i have a angsty chris fic sitting in my drafts and im trying to start it but ive no motivation to start writing, and i just realized anna: (@worldlxvlys), riyah (@hoesformatt), and grace (@lacysturniolo) follow me. tysm for reading !! sorry im a giant yapper

xoxo, riri !

taglist: 🏷 @lovingmattysposts @elliesturniolo1 @elliewrites1 @sturnsbitch @luvmxtt @vanteguccir @novasturniolo03 @tyjna6 @sturnlova @sturniolo-lover1317 @patscorner

(comment here to be on my taglist !)

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #triplets #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #christopher owen sturniolo #stvrnioloo

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cinewhore · 10 months

Text

The Only Exception

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x fem!reader

read extended cut here [x]

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: mentions of drinking, toxic family dynamics, smut 18+ (groping, male receiving oral, penetration, unprotected sex, facial cumshot). fluff and some angst!

A/N: girlies, the whore jumped out! Takes place during episode 6 season 2. Credit to the gif creator! I hope y’all enjoy it.

Nothing ever goes smoothly with the Berzatto’s.

Why you thought this holiday dinner was going to be any different was beyond any rational comprehension.

Trying not to be a complete klutz and ruin the side dish you’ve been working on the entire day, you delicately balance it in your left hand while adjusting your scarf tighter around your neck with your right. Putting a pep in your step, you round the corner from where you parked, spotting the stoop instantly.

It was a rare sighting to see all three of the Berzatto siblings together. With Carmy being away at culinary school, Mikey doing his own thing with the restaurant and Natalie living her life, one person always missed the other. It warmed your heart to see just how much they cared about each other, even if they didn’t show it in a normal or healthy way.

“Is that who I think it is?” Mikey’s voice booms over the light traffic passing by, handing Carmy the cigarette he was puffing on.

You crack a smile, despite it feeling like your lips were stuck together due to the cold weather. “Sorry, I’m a bit late. Fuckin’ cat had my keys.”

“How many times did I tell you to get rid of the cat?” Mikey leans down to kiss you but you turn your head, forcing him to peck you on the cheek instead.

“C’mon, baby.” he drawls, throwing you a bashful smile.

You huff out a sigh, lowering your voice. “You know I hate the smoking.”

Mikey nods, face fading into something serious before vanishing. “I know you do. You didn’t bring fish, did you?”

Side-stepping the tall Berzatto, you get pulled into a hug by Natalie, followed by Carmen.

“Hello, gorgeous! It’s so good to see you!” Natalie kisses you on both cheeks before making the move to grab the dish out of your hands. You pull back, shooting her a look.

“Nat, please. I got it.”

“Are you sure?” you watch as her bottom lip quivers a bit. You steal a glance at Carmy, who just shakes his head.

“Fuck. How bad is it?” you gaze at the disheveled trio, awaiting an answer.

Finally, Mikey breaks the silence.

“It’s at a five. Six, at best.”

You lick your lips, rocking back and forth on your heels. “That’s not too bad, right?”

“Right.” Carmy agrees, with Natalie humming in agreement.

“Just don’t fucking ask if she’s doing ok.” Mikey glimpses at his sister, placing hand on your lower back to guide you into the house.

You take a deep breath and exhale through your nose, plastering a smile on your face before entering the shit show.

You’d only been there an hour and you were called the wrong name three times, objectified, cursed at and now Fak was trying to get you to put up five hundred dollars for baseball cards.

Listening with great intent, nodding at all the right times and twirling the wine glass in your hands desperately wanting to get another refill had your social energy spent.

“We could make you a lot of money, cousin.” Fak goes on, nudging his brother for support.

“Yeah-yeah! Think about what you could do with fifteen hundred bucks! Cold hard cash!” the lookalike chimes in.

“Wow, no, yeah this-this sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime.” you murmur. Don’t take it the wrong way, you loved Fak. His personality was infectious, you’ve never seen him get overly angry despite the other guys giving him shit constantly and he genuinely goes out of his way to help everyone. Back when you first started dating Mikey and moved apartments in the city, Fak volunteered to make sure your place was in tiptoe shape and refused payment.

Just then Steve, Michelle’s husband, passes by and you seize your opportunity.

“Steve! How are you?” you beckon him over, scooting over on the tiny couch so he could sit beside you.

“Ah, yes. Mikey’s girl who we aren’t sure how he managed to snag. Good to see you again.”

You brush off his comment with a tired smile, gesturing to Fak and his brother. “So, these guys have a proposition for you, right?”

You nod enthusiastically with them, giving Fak a secret wink.

“Oh, yes! Yes! Do you like baseball cards, Steve?”

“On that note,” you stand up and maneuver yourself out the nook. “I’m gonna go get a refill. Leave you gentlemen to handle business.”

Mocking a military salute, you dash towards the kitchen bypassing other members of the family.

Donna flurries around the kitchen, shouting instructions to no one in particular. You didn’t greet her as soon as you came in, knowing how she gets around this time of the year. To be honest, you were sure that she didn’t exactly like you.

“Donna, my goodness! You look wonderful.” you lay the complement on sweetly, smiling brightly. If you don’t wilt in her presence, she wouldn’t be able to smell the fear on you.

Donna swivels her head to look at you, cigarette dangling from her lipstick smeared lips. Eyes lined in thick mascara, her disapproving expression ripples through you. You smile wider.

“I brought over a little casserole. I figured it would compliment the fish nicely.”

Shifting to face you fully, Donna crosses her arms. “Casserole? What casserole?”

You point to the tin foiled dish. “That one. Mikey brought in, did he not tell you?”

She scoffs. “Yeah, just like he told me about him breaking things off with what’s her name.”

“Anna.” you mutter, swallowing the lump that quietly made its way up your throat.

“Yeah, Anna.” Donna turns back to the task at hand, haphazardly swinging a knife about. “I liked her better.”

Forgoing your much desired glass of wine, you stalk out of the kitchen. On the outside looking in, the Berzatto’s appeared to be your average family. The warm glow of the lights shining out into the frost covered sidewalks invited you in all those years ago and once inside, you then realized why people were so hesitant to accept invites or why Mikey refused to bring up his past.

You didn’t have this growing up. Your family life was much quieter, mom and dad both kept to themselves. Distant cousins never visited for the holidays and you were an only child so there weren’t any siblings to fall back on.

It was boring.

Drove you crazy.

So when the Berzatto’s welcomed you in with open arms (well, some of them) you threw yourselves to the wolves willingly. It helped you grow a thick skin, talk over people and man handle the biggest guys in the room. For that, you were thankful.

A hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, dragging you away from everyone and up the stairs. Mikey is headstrong in his quest to get you alone, not caring to see if you were keeping up the pace. You both stagger inside his room, the door shut soundly behind you, followed by the lock turning.

Mikey doesn’t give you a second to react, mouth leaving open tongued kisses along your jaw and collarbone, hands working at tugging up your skirt.

“Mikey, baby, baby, wait-” you plead, backing up to create space between the two of you.

He flops onto the bed, hands on his knees, fingers raking through his hair again and again.

You’re careful as you sit next to him, scratching your own fingers along the center of his back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” is all he utters.

“Bullshit. Talk to me.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else, you get it. The party continues below you both, profanities and insults flying like it's nobody's business. It was too much. For Mikey, Camry, anyone. The more time you spent with his family, the more you realized why Carmen never came back to visit. Why Michelle skipped out of town and up to New York. Anything to keep the family an arms distance away.

Why Mikey feels trapped.

“I know.” you whisper against his shoulder, mouth pressing in tiny kisses. You lift his head up with both of your hands, cradling his face gingerly. The tiredness exudes for nearly every crevice, eye bags worn and solidified. You use your thumb to smooth out his forehead, laughing softly when he wrinkles it more.

“You’ll always have me, Berzatto.”

“I don’t deserve you. Never did.”

You tut. “That’s not true. You’ve always had me. From the moment you sold me that greasy, sloppy sandwich down at The Beef. I was a goner.”

Mikey chuckles, leaning into your hands more. “I got you something.”

Your eyes go wide, brows forming a skeptical look. “Is that so?”

Mikey flickers his eyes down to his pants and you scoff.

“Wow, Michael. Are you gifting me your penis? Again? I must’ve been too nice this year.” you gently slap his face in mock anger.

“Haha,” he deadpans. “Try my pockets, detective wiseass.”

You let go of his face and rummage through his pants pocket, producing a ball of torn tissue paper, kept together by a single piece of tape. Confused but curious, you unwrap the gift, facing dropping as your eyes find his.

The tissue tumbles to the ground, revealing a necklace. At the bottom of it dangled a charm of…cheese?

“I remember the first day you came into the shop. Like a goddamn bat outta hell. Never seen anything like it. You ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and asked for, um, what was it?”

“Havarti-”

That’s right! Fuckin’ havarti cheese! What the hell even is that?”

“How do you own a sandwich shop and not provide a variety of cheeses, I don’t understand it.”

Mikey gawks at you. “Babe, we’re called The Beef. Not the cheese. But you wanna know what I did?”

You encourage him to finish, as if you didn’t know the rest of the story.

“I told you to wait and-and I was gonna go check in the back. I booked it out of the back door, all the way down to Malik’s corner store and bought the most expensive cheese he had. I rush back to the shop and guess what?”

“You made the sandwich.”

Mikey’s face cracks into the biggest grin you’d ever seen, eyes crinkled at the corners. “I made the goddamn sandwich. Brought it out to you myself. Told you that we didn’t serve grilled cheese but for you, I’d make an exception.”

Your eyes well over in tears and you blink rapidly to keep them from falling. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has done for me, ya know.”

“You’re telling me all I had to do was buy you some cheese to get in your pants? Hot damn.”

You playfully shove Mikey back against the bed, crawling over to straddle him. “Well, it worked after a while, didn’t it?”

Mikey thrusts upwards, growing erection sliding against your damp underwear.

“It sure did.”

He grabs the back of your neck, surging up to slot his mouth against yours. You aren’t delicate in the way you claw at him, nails digging into his tanned flesh. Pushing up your skirt, Mikey palms your ass, stroking it before landing a hard smack against it. You moan into his neck, biting down.

“Perkiest ass I’ve ever seen, baby, shit.” Mikey groans, voice an octave deeper.

“And it’s yours. All yours.”

Mikey secures the back of your head as he flips the two of you over, pushing you down on your stomach. You do the rest of the work for him, sticking your ass up, and curving your back into an arch.

Mikey readily pulls down the zipper of his pants, hands readjusting his briefs until he is able to free himself. Spitting obscenely in his palm, Mikey shoves your panties to the side and rubs his saliva across your slickness. You buck back into him, whimpering when he graces you with a lone finger to loosen you up. You whine and wiggle your ass some more, ready to receive all that he was going to give you.

“Gonna give my baby what she wants, don’t you worry.” Mikey purrs, aligning himself to enter you. He slides in easily, the strained sigh as he fully situates him inside you never ceasing to make you wetter.

You pull yourself up so that you were resting on your hands, peeking over your shoulder to catch a gaze at Mikey as you begin to fuck him. He was enthralled at the sight of his cock pumping in and out of you, the way you were able to handle him without saying a single word.

He would love to take his time and thoroughly explore your cunt but time is of the essence. Wrapping his right hand around your neck once again, he yanks you up into a deeper arch, left hand on your hip in a deathgrip. He meets your thrusts with his own, dropping his left leg down on the floor to gain some balance.

Between the familial bickering creeping up the stairs, all that could be heard was the squelching of your pussy and the labored breathing of Mikey, muffled praises spurring you on further.

He slaps your ass again and you tighten around him, eyes rolling to the top of your head as you attempt to hold onto his arms for dear life.

“Mikey, oh fucking god, baby you’re gonna make me come so hard. Please, please, please!”

He answers you by sticking his fingers in your mouth and you automatically clamp down on them, sucking and gagging until spit dribbles down the side of your mouth.

Mikey picks up speed and the coil inside you breaks as you reach your peak, legs stiffening as you rear back against Mikey. He continues to fuck you, albeit at a slower tempo, humming as you spasm against him.

“That’s my girl, my favorite fucking girl. Where do you want mine, huh? Tell me where you want it.”

He removes his fingers and lets them trail down to tease and pick at your hardened nipples that now poke through your shirt.

“I wanna taste. Want it in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” Mikey lets you go and you catch yourself before you fall completely face first into the bed.

“Get on your knees, now.”

You do as you're told, scurrying to position yourself on your knees in front of Mikey. Mouth open and head tilted back, you let a hand caress your breast as the other slithers up his thigh.

Mikey is affectionate as he goes to grab the back of your head, other hand tirelessly stroking his cock. A vein pops out of forehead as he grunts, a few milky droplets coating your face, before steady ropes accompany it. A few of them land in your mouth and you swallow it all eagerly.

Mikey tries to calm his breathing, watching you with hooded eyes as you lick at the tip of his cock, cleaning up the remnants of yourself off of him. You take him down all the way to the shaft for shits and giggles, pulling off of him with a low pop.

“Goddamn devil.”

You wink, swiping at the mess you could feel dripping on your face. Mikey helps to clean you up, both fixing each other’s clothes to appear less wrinkled. Seemingly ok with your appearance, you start to head downstairs but Mikey stops you.

He steps behind you, lifting up the necklace he got you. He fastens it, walking to your front to admire it.

You grab his hand and bring it to your mouth for a kiss.

“It’s you and me, Berzatto.”

“You and me.”

Exhaling heavily, you open the door to reenter the Berzatto family chaos, a new found confidence lighting your path.

#Mikey berzatto x fem reader #Michael berzatto x reader #Michael berzatto x fem reader #the bear fanfiction

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ineylesian · 1 year

Text

SEEN A GHOST?

─ SIMON “GHOST” RILEY X FEM! READER

AO3 / MASTERLIST

WORD COUNT / 2k+

SUMMARY / every mission comes with its sacrifices, and consequences.

you had suffered both; now Ghost has been off your radar for a week, and you feared he wouldn't come back.

WARNINGS / smut, pre-established relationship, vaginal sex, handjobs, makeup sex, just a lil overstimulation, clothed sex ofc ofc

AUTHOR’S NOTE / i rushed this so hard bc i forgot it was halloween y’all my brain is fried. graves and alejandro are a part of task force 141 in this for shits and giggles. happy halloween y’all!

THIS WORK IS MEANT TO BE WRITTEN IN AN ADULT READER’S POINT OF VIEW. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

OCTOBER 31ST, 11:37 PM.

A SMALL BAR ON THE COAST OF CHICAGO.

“Aye, Soap! Another one brother!”

A chorus of cheers rang out as the Scot downed his 4th shot of patron silver, slamming the glass down on the table before shaking his head victoriously.

“You’re next, Graves!”

You watched the dirty blonde raise his hands in a feeble protest, surrendering with a laugh after receiving a good swing on the back from Alejandro. His shot was swapped for a cointreau orange, raising his glass high before whistling for your group’s attention, nodding over to Price once the chatter had ceased.

“Great job this week, everyone. I know the intel Laswell found on Makarov was a surprise, but we’ll take things one at a time.”

His glass soon rose to join Graves’, and the rest of you followed suite.

“Happy Halloween, task force 141!”

The small, crowded bar erupted into celebration once more as you all rose your glasses to a toast, your own hitting Soap’s with a satisfying clink. You could feel his eyes lingering on you even after lowering your glass, leading you to take a thin sip of your own whiskey before looking his way.

Seemingly sensing his words coming, you tilted your head in faux confusion.

“Is Lt. feeling okay?” He questioned, tequila glazed lips curving into a slight frown. “It’s weird to not see him here, he’s been pissin’ about having some whiskey for days.”

“Yeah, he’s just a little stressed out.”

Stressed out was putting it lightly. Ghost hadn’t spoken to you since before you neutralized Hassan, leaving not a single trace of himself to follow before going off the grid. You hadn’t had a single clue of his whereabouts for a week now, all because of a stupid mistake.

You had grabbed Hassan by the neck before he could shoot Soap, the sudden shift of your body sending the piercing 50 meter shell made to kill him clean through your shoulder instead. Thankfully, you heard Soap’s gun go off, but you weren’t so lucky yourself, the pure force of the bullet sending you flying through the nearest window. The last thing you could remember was your shrill screams against the night air, hand clenched on one of the bullet’s openings while you plummeted towards the ground.

Three days later you had woken up, left to the sight of a bouquet of flowers signed “Price”, and not one missed call on your phone. You couldn’t even bring yourself to text him, figuring he’d decided to call it quits on your.. situationship after you’d embarrassed him in such a way. After all, if that rappel harness wasn’t still strapped to your waist, you would’ve been tallied up as another KIA.

You sighed, supposing there was nothing better to alleviate the stress than the cold glass cupped between your fingers.

“If this is about the whole Hassan situation, he hasn’t talked to me either.” Soap spoke up, grabbing your refill and sliding your way. “Think we hurt his pride, but he’ll be okay.”

“He still hasn’t apologized for ‘hurting’ my shoulder.” You snorted, filling the empty glass halfway before taking another shot. “I just don’t understand why he’s been so adamant on avoiding me, you know?”

Another shot fell smoothly down your throat, burning a trail of non sober tears down your cheeks as you slid it away from your grasp. Soap gently massaged your shoulder as your head dropped down onto the bar table below, letting a pathetic groan slide out at the mere thought of how stupid you looked right now. Completely wasted and crying over Simon Riley.

“I just… I love him a lot, John.” You mumbled after some time, propping your head up against your chin. “I know we weren’t completely serious, but I really thought he was different than that.”

“Well, wait.” One of Soap’s hands waved to the side, halting whatever melancholic path your head was turning for in its tracks. “I may not be that observant, but it’s clear as day that crabbit cares about y’a. Lets your name slip on every mission I do with him.”

You shook your head, smiling lightly as a napkin was passed your way.

“Besides, with the way he’s been actin’ lately, he probably thinks you’re mad at him. It’s almost like the idiot did it on purpose.”

A laugh couldn’t help but break its way from your lips, leading you to cover your face with one hand while the other swatted at him.

You watched as he reached for one of the Halloween decorations hanging above the bar counter, plucking up a small ghost hanging from a string and offering it your way. A roll of your eyes accompanied the hand that reached out, turning the small piece of paper in your hand before sliding it into your pocket.

That same little decoration sat guarded by your hand as the evening droned on, eventually leading you out onto the street as everyone slurred their goodnights. $5 and a cramped taxi ride and you had arrived at your hotel, bidding quiet hellos to anyone concerned with your existence. You quietly slipped into the elevator on the first floor, emerging on the eighth while your fingers dug the keycard out of your pocket.

The digital clock on the nightstand was the first to greet you, slowly flashing a red pattern that read 8:43 PM in the darkness. You ran a hand through your hair before stumbling into the bathroom, throwing up about 4 shots out of your system and into the toilet. After a 5 minute tooth brushing session, you emerged back into the small hallway that broke off into the living space, bed sheets riled up just as you had left it this morning.

BANG.

Your eyes knitted in confusion at the sudden, brash noise, safely assuming it came from your window. The raging wisp of the curtains had you reaching for your nightstand, pulling a fully loaded M9 from the drawer and tugging on the safety.

However, when you went to turn around, your shoulder met a solid barrier that definitely should not have been there.

“It’s me.”

The familiar rasp of Manchester fell to your ears, blowing your eyes wide as you whipped around. Your gaze rose to glaze over his own, shadowed eyebags imitating the tactical war paint he adorned almost perfectly.

You remained silent, slowly sliding the pistol back into the nightstand drawer before pushing it shut. Ghost seemed completely fine riding the waves of naught before your eyes narrowed, head tilting slightly in nerved anticipation.

“I wanted to see you.”

“You want to see me now? That’s funny.” A bitter laugh barked from you. “Nothing for a week and now this?”

“I know, I know, it seems shitty.” He sighed, rubbing a hand along his clothed cheek. “Just needed things to cool down.”

A click sounded from behind the nightstand, illuminating you both in the hotel lamp’s soft cream glow.

“You can’t be serious, Simon.”

He stiffened before you, quivering fingers betraying the solid, cold facade painted across his irises.

“You think completely disappearing will ‘cool things down’?” You continued, almost baffled at the sheer stupidity if this entire situation. “In case you forgot, there’s a 50 caliber hole in my shoulder. What do you have to say to that, huh?”

Silence.

“Sweetheart, it was an accident.” The words pooled out soft, quiet in the way they wrapped themselves around you, agonizingly constricting. “I would never hurt you on purpose, you know that.”

“Well you just pulled a pretty big fucking accident, didn’t you?”

His eyes closed, a hefty sigh escaping the thin layer of his mask in a manner that made you nauseous. Yet, your eyes only parted in surprise as he peeled the dark coat of polyester fabric off of his face, lips caught in a taut line as you stared him down.

“Well, now you have me.” Accent thicker than normal, he leaned forward, gently grasping one of your wrists. “May I make it up to you, darling?”

Bastard. You had to give him props for being this patient.

And you cursed yourself for hooking your arms around his neck, breathing in the mixed scent of mint and cedar wood, uniquely his, solely familiar. His lips gently pressed against yours, handling your area of injury like it was the fine china. You allowed him to lay you down on the bed, not missing the spark of raging exhaust that trailed the match in his eyes, leading your gaze to drift down to his eyebags for the second time.

Situationship, your ass. You didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to lie about that.

“Haven’t been sleeping well?”

A hum drew its way from his lips, free hand reaching up to rub at the crevices of purple and grey that hung below his eyelashes. You couldn’t help but squeeze your legs together at the sleep deprived squint that emerged from his efforts, silently cursing yourself for getting pulled in so quick. It was like a curse, his touch; the languid, carelessly blinks that followed each ministration of cold hands on blazing skin.

Damn, he was good.

Slim fingers hooked themselves under the hem of your pants, sliding the material down to your knees before moving a hand to rest on your inner thigh. His spare fell to run along the base of your stomach, creeping down your skin at an agonizingly slow speed.

“Simon.” You warned. “Stop teasing me.”

The man before you let out a soft grunt before abruptly dipping his hand down to your panties, taking a firm hold of the top before ripping them straight off. You frowned at the amused glint of his eyes that followed, yet had no room to protest as the feeling of cool skin brushed against your folds. Both his index and ring fingers toyed with the outside of your clit, molding his flesh warm at the pure heat radiating from your pussy.

The thinner finger was the first to find itself pushing into you, gently making a roundabout along your walls before pulling out, lathering the rest of his fingers in your arousal. You groaned softly as he reentered you with two fingers, the gradual speed of him stretching you out sending a sharp chain of light shocks along your spine.

Despite everything in Las Almas captivating your attention, you still sucked Ghost in like he was just another part of you, completely devoid of pain due to the amount of times he’d drilled into you already. However, you could definitely tell he was trying to be somewhat sentimental with you, despite looking like he hadn’t slept in at least two days.

Your mouth twitched at the feeling, or rather loss of feeling between your legs as Ghost pulled out, motioning for you to move closer. His hands found hold on your waist before spinning you around, leaving you straddling his thighs, face nearly level with his own. A slight shift in your leg roused a sharp hiss from his lips, tucked harshly between his canines.

“Sweetheart, I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to take over. Unless you want to stop, of course.”

Your eyes softened as his own closed, raising a hand to run along his jawline, feeling the stubble of a week’s negligence kissing your fingers.

“That tired, hm?”

“Mhm.”

You inhaled, spare hand moving down to fiddle with the top of his sweatpants, noticing that they left little to no room of imagination. Ghost’s breath hitched as you slid his boxers down, fingers trailing the leaking spurts of precum down his length before running your hand along it. Your fingers gently curved inward, stopping to wrap curtly around the base of his cock before taking a drag up, and down no faster. You kept at this for a minute all until one of his hands clasped around your own, feebly attempting to pull you closer.

“Faster, darling..”

You leaned in as close as he wanted you, warm breaths fanning over his lips, lips curving into a satisfied smile before completely stopping your movement on his dick.

“Ask nicely, Simon.”

“Please, fuck..”

Your lips dipped to lock against his, swallowing up every noise of he made as you began your ministrations once more. The other hand continued where it had left off on his jaw, slowly crawling up his skin before gently tugging at any strands of dirty blonde you could get your hands on.

Parting from his lips, you rapidly increased your pace again, hand sloppily running up and down his irritated dick. Fatigued noises of bliss spilled out of his lips at each relentless jerk, finding stability in the hand that pulled at his hair.

The hand held in his hair gingerly dropped down to your own region at a swift tug, hastily moving him to rest at your clit to relieve the needing ache that had swelled there. Ghost’s head fell back, fingers furiously rubbing between your folds and nub, the rough pads of his fingers against your sensitive flesh rousing a cry from your lips.

“Fucking Hell, sweetheart.” He panted, reaching over to the nightstand with his spare hand, swiping a tissue from the box and dropping it down to his tip. “Can’t make a mess in- FUCK.”

You felt the tissue above your hand dampen, running your hand down his cock one more time before you were abruptly pulled up, his fingers messily slipping inside of you at the same time. A strangled moan clawed it’s way from your throat as the flaming coil in your naval severed, rendered Ghost’s sweatshirt completely drenched as you rode out your orgasm.

You were both left helplessly panting as his fingers slipped out of you, wiping against his sweatpants before removing his sweatshirt and tucking himself together.

“Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

An diverted eye roll responded to your taunt, too focused on helping to roll your pants up. Leaving the hem where it had been, Ghost’s hands lightly moved to your sides, running your shirt above your arms. A dim gaze fell to rest on the rather large bandage draped over your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, darling.” He breathed, eyes contesting yours in a guilty squint. “Truly.”

“Hey.” Your fingers pulled his jaw up, gently caressing the side of his neck. “We completed the mission. In the end, that’s all that matters.”

“Now you’re really starting to sound like me.”

You snorted, turning so you could wrap a leg around his upper thigh.

“In your dreams.”

#arqhms #arqhmsthirst #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #mwii #ghost smut #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #cod mw22

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wekiamo · 1 year

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still love you pt. 2

heyy finally part 2! 😭 sorry for the wait. anyways i’m glad y’all like the fic! reblogs are appreciated and requests are totally welcome!

warnings: swearing, murdering, stabbing, blood, fluff! if something’s missing tell me in the comments

you screamed.

“[NAME], NO!” tara screamed even louder than you did. she started to cry even more. you couldn’t die, you and sam were one of the most important things in her life. you were always there for her and she was always there for you, you both had some kind of sister connection. you always had so much fun, you loved deep conversations - actually, you loved anything that made you spend more time with each other. you could never lose her and she could never lose you. was she losing you right now? that’s one thing she would NEVER want in her life, ever.

while tara was still screaming for your name, denying that you were dead, sam had covered her mouth and started sobbing. sam couldn’t even think of ever losing you, that she’d panic. she can’t imagine a life without your jokes, without cooking a new recipe with you every day with the same playlist going on, without crying on your shoulder and you crying on hers, without holding hands with you everytime she gets nervous.

“her screams were way better than i thought, i bet you had your fun, huh? great job, son” bailey praised as ethan came back from the dark room, alone.

ethan nodded and smirked in response.

“we were having a little fun. wanna join?” quinn asked, walking to stand beside sam and tara so he could see them - sam with blood in her arms and tara with blood in her cheeks.

“no thanks, i think we’ve had fun enough, haven’t we?” the tall boy looked at his father, then his sister, making bailey nod - quinn was not satisfied at all, she wanted to tease and hurt them more before actually killing them, but she tilted her head in agreement.

“so, tara” bailey started, walking towards the girl whose expression was totally readable - a mixed feeling of anger and sadness. “how do you want to die? would you rather get stabbed in the mouth, the neck, the eye-“

“fuck you” she said almost whispering between sobs.

“oh you liked the last option, tara? wanna be stabbed in the eye?” he chuckled. “fine”.

tara could not stop crying. it was just all too much for her.

“what about you, sam? how do you want to die?” quinn looked at the girl, tilting her head

she didn’t respond, she only stared. she looked at each one of them, starting with tara, then bailey, then quinn, and stopped at ethan.

“motherfucker you don’t even have the RIGHT to ignore my questions” quinn yelled at sam then slapped her hard.

oh how sam wanted to jump on her and make her scream so loudly that anyone in this city could hear, but she couldn’t. not right now. sam was getting more and more out of control - if she could get away with this situation, she’d kill them, ALL OF THEM, brutally.

“how do you think it was to get a phone call and acknowledge that my son was fucking murdered? huh?” bailey grabbed sam by her neck roughly, making the girl unable to breathe “he died in YOUR hands. now you’re going to fucking pay for this and for all we’ve suffered” he got his hands off of her

“he was crazy, him and his pathetic girlfriend went on a killing spree because of a FUCKING MOVIE. he was so useless he didn’t even get to kill more than one person ” sam laughed “he deserved to die. but you guys are all insane too, just like him”

“ENOUGH” quinn raised her arm with her knife, about to stab sam’s neck when you stepped in

“get the fuck away from her. NOW” you said, pointing a gun to her, holding it with both of your hands. you were far from them.

“what the fuck?” ethan turned to you, looking genuinely confused.

“[name], you’re alive!” tara said with a tone of relief in a slight grin, unable to completely smile due to what’s happening now

“you’re just like your brother, aren’t you,you little shit?” sam asked not waiting for a response, looking at ethan “thank god you’re alive, [name]. you’re just in time” she continued

“what the fuck is happening here, isn’t she supposed to be dea- HEY” tara took the knife out of quinn’s hands and grabbed her by the shoulder, stabbing her in the chest. “what happened quinn? why so quiet, bitch?” tara teased. “i’m gonna fuck you up” quinn said, falling down to the floor quickly.

“weapons down, bailey” now you were pointing the gun to him

sam was gone. you didn’t mind where she was going, because you knew well she was coming back for her revenge.

you were now getting closer and closer to bailey, gun still pointed at him. “lost another poor little baby, didn’t you?” bailey’s face was covered in fear, and he didn’t know what to do now. “how sad is that?” you teased him, pouting your lips

“you’re going to pay for everything. first richie and then quinn? double the price now” he said, looking obviously furious by seeing another child of him get killed, but this time right in front of him. that made him even more angry

“oh, am i? how?”

“behind you, kid”

you did not even turn to see what was going on behind you, but you could hear someone’s steps getting closer and closer.

bailey started smiling like a crazy psychopath. well, he was one. “it’s over for you now” he said, and you turned your head to see someone in a ghostface costume standing beside you.

“no, i think its over for you.”

“what-”

in no time, he was getting stabbed everywhere. arms, legs, chest…

repeatedly. and he didn’t stop screaming in pain. he was screaming like a fucking baby. not he knows what it feels like to be stabbed in his own skin. that goes on for almost a whole minute.

until it stops. and the person in the ghostface costume unmasks - sam.

“my dad is a serial killer. but you know, i’m better than this”

“thank you, thank you” bailey, still alive somehow, thanked sam with blood visible all over his body. it even made you pity him for a second, seeing him all bloody.

tara was now standing beside you too. she gave sam a look you didn’t really understand at first, then tilted her head.

“i think you liked that last option more than tara did” sam said before stabbing him in the eye. now you understood. she got her revenge, once again. she had a relieved look in her face, and you did too.

“cool” tara said with a slight grin, once again.

suddenly, quinn got up and started running in your direction. you quickly turned to ethan and threw your gun at his hands, and

ethan shot quinn in the head.

“aw man, i wanted to do it this time again” tara said in frustration, remembering how she shot amber

“ethan, you’re with us?”

“yes, and i’m so sorry for everything - i was forced to do everything and i tried to convince them not to do any of this, but it wasn’t my choice.” the boy said, frowning “please trust me”

sam and tara looked at each other, then they looked at you”

“i guess it’s true girls, we can trust him”

ethan smiled softly, getting closer to the three of you.

“why did you kill anika? and chad? you could’ve told quinn and bailey you didn’t get to kill anika and chad, and let them go” tara said still mad and untrustful of him

“i didn’t kill anika. that was my dad, and again, im very sorry. about chad, i dont think he’s dead. i was very careful with the knife”

“are you sure?”

“yes. we can go look for him”

“you’re not the ethan we know. where’s the super awkward ‘am i gonna die a virgin’ weirdo?” sam asked and they all laughed.

you looked at him, he looked down at you.

he grabbed you by the chin and leaned in to kiss you. it was passionate and genuine. you felt comfortable in his touch and started playing with his perfect curly hair - someting you knew he loved - and still seems to love.

“i love you, [name]. i’m sorry you had to go through all of this”

“i love you too ethan” you said, kissing him back.

“ew. anyways, let’s go and look for chad!” tara said, and sam followed.

you and ethan were still kissing. for a moment, you forgot how much of a good kisser he was.

“you’re still good at this” you said, pulling away from the kiss

“i know, honey” he joked, and you both laughed. “now let’s go with them”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan kirsch #ethan bailey #ethan landry fluff #ethan #scream 6 #scream vi #ethan landry scream 6 #scream #scream 6 fanfic #ethan landry fanfic #ethan landry smut #scream fanfic #ethan landry x reader smut #ethan landry x you #scream vi fanfic

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inkpot909 · 6 months

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Fluff Alphabet: Jotaro Kujo

↳ Reader is written as gender neutral and was previously a part of the trip to Egypt.

A/n: I’ve always wanted to write an alphabet list! And who better to write one for than my favorite marine biologist? I hope y’all enjoy and remember to take care of yourselves. <3

Warning(s): A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it innuendo. Mentions of blood and canon-typical swearing. Very light angst.

(A)ffection - How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?

Let’s face it, the phrases “Jotaro Kujo” and “lovey-dovey” don’t mix.

He didn’t rank high on the affectionate scale, at least, not at the beginning of your relationship.

Instead of being openly affectionate, his main method of expressing his feelings during the beginning was to spend lots of quality time with you. Attached at the hip, he followed you around everywhere.

Another way he expressed his affection was by… introducing or referring to you as his boyfriend/girlfriend?

You still remember the first time you’d met his mother. He brought you home one day, standing a good foot or two to your left. His arms were firmly planted in his pockets, while you awkwardly had to listen to him bluntly say “This is who I’m dating.”

That was his idea of romance.

Jotaro’s come a long way since; it’s a matter of time for him. Quality time is still a large part of his love language, no question, but after settling into the relationship he’ll get the hang of it.

Specifically, he’s more knowledgeable on what you like best and that will certainly shine through in his actions.

This is especially true in private, where he’ll show a side of himself that’s genuinely sweet and more inclined to be physically affectionate.

(B)eauty - What does he admire about you? What does he think is beautiful about you?

Your personal drive and motivations are two things he deeply admires about you!

Specifically, your passions make you incredibly special in his eyes. And this is true regardless of where those motivations lie. If you are passionate in your career, or even about your hobbies, he’ll be sure to take notice.

Whether it’s the way your face lights up when the topic is even slightly mentioned, or the expression of complete focus when knee-deep in whatever it is that compels you to move forward, it can honestly leave him speechless.

He’s a great support as well. Vocally and bluntly expressing a unwavering belief in you. He does this more often if you harbor any insecurities towards your passions as well.

Physically speaking, he adores your eyes the most.

The amount of times he’s drowned himself in the vast ocean contained within your irises is uncountable. It’s grounding, comforting, and will likely never fail to make his heart flutter.

His staring is a constant in your relationship. During the platonic stage, the beginning of you dating, and all throughout your years of marriage.

(C)omfort - How would he help you when feeling down/having a panic attack/etc.?

Much like with displaying affection, Jotaro’s going to be rather shit at this in the beginning.

Where it differs, however, is that his attempts at making you feel better were likely the first signs of his deeper feelings towards you.

As the journey to Egypt developed, so did both of your understanding of one another. Namely, he was rather curt and dismissive towards you initially. This behavior probably led you to try and avoid him, whether it was done shyly or with a more vocal pushback against his actions.

Regardless, stand attacks were the catalyst of you realizing he actually cares for you. More specifically, during the fight against Steely Dan. It didn’t matter to him that Joseph’s life was on the line, if the bastard so much as got to close, you were having to hold Jotaro back from becoming violent.

Comforting you while dealing with mental or emotional hurtles is something he approaches far more awkwardly.

When you first began going out, he would grow silent and sit next to you as you let out your emotions. He’s always been a good listener, certainly, but that was pretty much it.

As he matures, he’ll find the- although limited -right words to say. Not only that, but if you want to cling to him, feel free to do so.

If you’re going through a panic attack, his response depends on the situation. If it’s during/because of a battle, he leaves comforting you to someone else while he dives head-first into the fight.

If it’s not during such a dire situation, he will pull you close (unless it’s already been made clear that will only heighten your distress).

Jotaro will encourage you to meet his gaze, and follow his deep breaths as best you can. He will always be calm, and prioritizes you relaxing before discussing the source of your panic attack after the fact.

(D)ance - Does he like to dance with you? How good of a dancer is he?

No way in hell.

It won’t matter how many times you, whine, beg, or bargain. The most you’ll ever get from him is the tapping of his foot or gentle nod of his head in the car.

Try not to take it personally!

In general, Jotaro just doesn’t dance. It’s not for him. He doesn’t even know if he’s got naturally good rhythm (he doesn’t) because he just… never does it.

The first time you ever danced with him is on your wedding day.

Marrying the love of your life in of itself is enough to make your heart swell. But the fact that he danced with you, in front of friends and family no less, made the ceremony magical. And his steady movements, as well as how tenderly he held you to him, took your breath away.

The fact that he asked his mother to show him how to slow dance, practicing for weeks beforehand, is something he’s taking to the grave.

(E)xcitement - How does he act when he’s excited? What excites him?

The world must’ve stopped turning; the sun is falling down from the sky. Pigs are outside flying through the air as if they’ve been doing so for centuries.

Jotaro Kujo’s smiling unprompted.

No, seriously, you can tell he’s anticipating something when the tiniest of smiles plays on his lips for no immediate reason. Generally, he also seems less annoyed at the world when he’s feeling excited.

Those are good enough indicators on their own, but there’s also the fact that he talked your ear off about whatever it is he’s looking forward to the night prior.

“Talked your ear off,” by the way, translates to mumbling out no more than four sentences on the matter.

If you were anyone else, they likely wouldn’t notice a difference. But you do, knowing Jotaro better than he knows himself at times.

Achievements and advancements within his career is what often excites him as an adult. A rare visit from an old-friend such as Polnareff is also bound to put him in a good mood. And finally returning home from a long trip away is bound to make his eyes shine.

When he was still a young delinquent, these reactions were policed to the point where he hardly expressed such things in front of you. But after mellowing out, it’s heartwarming to see more genuine displays of his emotions.

(F)uture - What are his plans for the future? Does he see himself getting married, having kids?

Before you, even getting into a romantic relationship wasn’t on his mind at all.

So it’s more likely that you’re the first to bring things up like marriage or children, then he’ll begin to seriously consider it. If he realizes his wants and needs for the future on his own, you’re still what’s going to be on his mind front and center.

For him, his mind is focused on one thing at a time.

After marrying, he’ll one day think to himself, Huh, usually the next step is having kids. Then he’ll contemplate it, wondering if that’s what he wants.

Jotaro’s the type of individual that never saw such a thing for himself out of youthful disinterest.

But as he grew up and found his relationship with you to be the most important thing in his life, he discovered he truly does wish to have a nuclear family.

It scares him a little, even with your ability as a stand user.

He knows all too well that there are plenty of people that want his head for the conflict in Egypt. It’s something you both have invested a lot of time in investigating side-by-side.

But at the end of the day, his trust in you and knowledge that you’re more powerful as a unit that eventually pushes those worries out of the picture.

And ultimately, what’s important to you becomes important to him. So, although he certainly comes to envision settling down and having a family with you, how you feel on the matter is the final word in his eyes.

(G)ifts - What does he give you as presents? How often does he give gifts?

Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day and anniversaries is pretty much the only time he gives gifts.

Despite not doing it often, he’s attentive enough and knows you to the point where he’s become quite good at it. He’s not afraid to spend a generous amount of money on you either.

And what his gifts lack in frequency, he certainly makes up for in memory.

Jotaro Kujo never forgets a date. The thought of reminding him doesn’t ever pass through your brain because he’s so consistent with it.

He smartly plans ahead on top of that. Meaning, even if he orders you a gift to be delivered to the house, it will always arrive on time. And if it doesn’t, it’s never on him that it didn’t.

(H)old - How does he hold you? Cuddling, sleeping, holding hands…

Holding hands has long been his preferred (and only) form of PDA.

Especially when you were younger and still dating, it was a statement to everyone around you. That yes, you’re both taken and happy to be together.

By the time you both mature into the relationship, it’s already an established habit. Now, he simply does it because he loves you and is happily aquatinted with your fingers intertwined with his.

Yes, part of him still wants everyone to know. But he cares a lot less about his reputation at this point in his life.

When cuddling, he mainly likes holding you close to him rather than it being the other way around. Having your head rest on his chest provides him a sense of comfort that’s irreplaceable.

That said, there are times when he’d like to lean on you or plant his head in your lap. It’s usually after a long, stressful day that he’ll seek out such a thing.

After dinner is usually time for you both to curl up, snuggled together in front of the TV. During the weekend, when neither of you are busy, you’ll find yourselves clinging to each other during the afternoon as well.

He doesn’t much care for cuddling you in bed, though. Jotaro likes to stretch out in his sleep and not be locked into on position the whole night.

“I cuddled with you all day, why would you need me to do it now when I’m trying to sleep?”

Although, if you’ve had a particularly rough day or if you haven’t seen one another for a while, he’ll bring you into his arms at night. Bending his legs forward, he’ll tangle them with yours as he spoons you.

(I)deal - What’s his ideal date like?

Heh, any date with you is ideal, babyboy/babygirl.

Jokes aside, he really doesn’t give a shit.

Planning dates with him may make you want to pull your hair out. He doesn’t care- whatever you want to do works for him.

You want to go out to eat? Fine with him, he’s getting hungry anyways. Want to go watch a movie? No problem; he’ll even pay for your ticket. Or would you rather stay in, curl up together in bed reading beside one another? Perfect, as long as he’s sitting close.

Jotaro doesn’t really understand why you may grow sick of always having to pick, and you’ll likely have to explain it to him.

Whenever he does make plans, it’s almost always something you’ve done together before and therefore is confident you’ll enjoy yourself.

His one no-go for a date is going to an amusement park.

Everything is way overpriced, the lines are too long, and the obnoxious kids littered around the place will set back his desire to have children for years.

(J)ealousy - Does he get jealous easily? How does he handle it?

When you were dating- absolutely.

Not only was he a little more insecure about the future of your relationship, but he also felt the need to keep up his tough-guy persona.

It has always been extremely rare for him to get violent due to jealousy, though.

Instead, he grew dangerously quiet and wrapped an arm around your shoulders protectively.

That said, he wasn’t ever opposed to getting violent. If it ever got to the point where someone was explicitly hitting on you in front of him, one glance at the uncomfortable look on your face, and he’s not afraid to start throwing around vague threats.

In adulthood, and once married, he feels less inclined to posture.

If someone’s hitting on you, he’s more likely to approach the situation calmly and make a point to introduce himself as your husband.

Having a naturally intimidating face doesn’t often lead to others pushing it.

And when he gets jealous in later years, he’s simply going to wait patiently until you get home. Not exactly grow silent like he used to, but shoot you knowing glances instead.

He waits until your both home before doing anything outright. That’s when he’ll grab your hand and lead you to the bedroom. Of course, he knows by now that you love him, but a night of reminding you how much you mean to him certainly doesn’t hurt…

(K)isses - How does he like to kiss you? How often does he kiss you?

For the first month into the relationship, he’d settle for merely kissing you on the cheek.

He’d plant one there, quickly moving away in order to tug the brim of his hat down and cover his face.

You’re likely the one to have instigated the first kiss with him. He didn’t know how to approach; didn’t know how to ask.

After that threshold was broken, he easily prefers on-the-mouth kisses.

Jotaro will still give you kisses on the cheek from time to time, especially in front of family or friends as to not push it PDA wise.

But he’ll likely give you a kiss on the mouth, even if brief, at least once a day. It’s usually after he or you arrive home from work, greeting you with the affectionate action.

Or he’ll give you a quick kiss goodnight before the both of you settle into bed.

Plus, he’s naturally always been a pretty good kisser. Talented bastard.

(L)ove - How does he show you he loves you?

By being a constant presence in your life.

“I’m here, aren’t I? Of course I love you,” he tells you, as if it’s a no-brainer.

He won’t say it out loud, but it’s not just the fact that he’s there, it’s how. Jotaro is very much a show rather than tell type of man.

Acts of service is the primary love language he expresses.

He does your laundry for you unprompted, and in fact, takes care of a lot of the household duties without you needing to ask. He knows you very well, and thus takes care of tasks you know you’ll appreciate not having to do.

He doesn’t make a point of it either. Jotaro rarely boasts about doing such things, and often you’re left to find out on your own.

His deep trust in you is also a way you know he loves you.

With knowing one another for as long as you have, the bond is impossibly strong. Jotaro doesn’t think twice before informing you about his struggles, big or small. Not because he expects you to solve all his problems, but because he values transparency.

(M)elt - What do you do that absolutely makes him melt?

When you respond to his emotions without him needing to say a word, Jotaro’s heart warms.

This once again ties in with how well you know each other.

You’re so good at reading him that he sometimes tricks himself into thinking you may be able to read his mind.

He mentioned it once offhandedly, not even meaning to say it out loud. You’re lighthearted reaction was a little embarrassing for him, but it’s a cherished memory for you.

Not only that, but the fact that you get along seamlessly with his mother honestly brings him a sense of joy he cannot describe.

The only thing he can to think to say on the matter is that family’s important to him. The implication of the statement is implied: You being able to get along with his mother and extended family as well has him melting on the spot.

Bonus points if you’re good with kids too. Namely because Jotaro… is not.

(N)icknames - What does he call you, and what does he like being called?

Not really one for giving pet names, he simply calls you by your name or a preferred nickname.

On rare occasions, when he’s feeling particularly teasing or playful, he’ll call you ‘honey.’ Those moments are few and far between, though.

Other than that, it’s usually just your name he sticks with.

After growing up, and especially after receiving his degree, not many people still refer to him as JoJo. He doesn’t think much of the transition, but he does like it if you still call him JoJo from time to time.

It reminds him of your longtime bond; the nostalgic foundation of friendship you share.

If you like using pet names for him, he’ll roll his eyes and pretend as if he doesn’t like it. That said, he greatly appreciates it if you refer to him by name in front of others or in a serious situation.

(O)bvious - How obvious does he make it that he likes you?

When he was simply harboring a crush on you, it was not at all obvious.

Back during the trip to Egypt, Jotaro’s developing crush went unnoticed. Not even his own grandfather could tell. Hell, Jotaro himself couldn’t even really recognize it at first. It went unnoticed by everyone.

Well, everyone except Kakyoin.

It puts a strain on Jotaro’s heart, remembering it was Kakyoin that first noticed his feelings for you.

The redhead was very respectful about it, but still felt the need to stick his nose in Jotaro’s business in private. Despite him denying the crush up and down, Kakyoin’s encouragement still got to him a bit in the end.

During rough nights, where the past is painfully kept in the front of his mind, Jotaro wonders if him becoming just a little more obvious with his affection for you is done in part as some sort of way to prove himself to his departed friend.

(P)ets - Does he have pets? Does he want them?

Jotaro is so the definition of someone who swears up and down he doesn’t want a pet, yet ultimately ends up loving one unconditionally.

If you want one, he’ll dig his heels into the dirt for months. He’s too busy, you’re too busy… all prepackaged excuses for why it wouldn’t be a good idea.

But you eventually convince him to get one, the stoic man finally relenting with a long sigh.

He prefers dogs over any other kind of pet, so if that’s what you want, it’ll be slightly easier to convince him.

Without ever even trying to do so, it’s him who becomes the pet’s favorite.

The closeness is what leads him to giving in and only admitting to himself that he likes the pet. He’ll never admit it to you (as if you can’t tell); far too stubborn for his own good.

Jotaro has a one-pet-at-a-time policy, though. That’s nonnegotiable.

(Q)uiet - How are the calm, quiet moments with him?

To be honest, it’s a staple of your relationship.

Jotaro finally considered it love once fully wrapping his head around the fact that neither of you felt the need to always be making conversation with one another.

Comfortable silence is cherished by him. Whether you’ve always been the same, or come to have understood that with time, the fact that you’ve come to embrace that aspect of his personality led him to opening himself up to you more during conversations.

Quieter moments occur a lot during the weekend, when there’s no work and only relaxing. You also just enjoy each other’s company without much talking when getting ready for bed.

Sometimes, he doesn’t even say goodnight to you.

Instead, he gently tugs a few strands of hair from your face and cups your jaw momentarily. A gentle glimmer within his pupils reveal much more than any words could express.

The quietness and tranquility present in a lot of the time you spend together is part of his assessment in realizing you were the one.

(R)omance - How romantic is he? What is his go-to ways of being romantic?

…Romantic? Jotaro…?

He’s really responsive to your preferences in romance. Well, depending on how you present them.

He’s no mind-reader and not exactly the best at observing others. Remember the Yellow Terence arc? Yeah… he’s not exactly a detective. If you want him to take a different approach in how romantic he is, subtly nudging him in the right direction isn’t going to work.

Instead, telling him directly what it is you like is much easier for him to wrap his head around. Jotaro never takes such comments personally, seeing as being upfront is preferable for him.

A year or two into the relationship, and he’s much better acquainted with what you like best.

Confident he understands you well, it naturally brings out a more romantic side of him. He’s only deeply observant with those closest to him (think Holly), so once you both reach that point, it brings out a surprisingly sweeter side of him.

(S)afe - What makes him feel safe and comfortable around you?

Once again, it’s got a lot to do with your history together.

Jotaro knows he can rely on you. He’s been keenly aware of your reliability since the late 80s.

Safety for Jotaro means tranquility, and a deep sense of comfort- along with a familiar environment. You provide him these warm feelings; seemingly just by your very presence.

When the two of you are at home together, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, he’s perfectly content. Simply glancing in your direction grounds him, and can calm buried anxieties.

That’s all he really needs to feel safe: You.

Visiting Morioh turns out to be a far more long and arduous task than either of you originally expected. But with you at his side, Jotaro rarely felt himself getting too worked up.

Spending late nights together at the hotel was all he needed to reset his brain, able to start the next day without much complaint over spending his time with unruly teenagers.

(T)end - How does he act when you’re hurt/sick, and vise versa?

If anyone hurts you, they may as well count their days. It doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re assertive all on your own; Jotaro’s going to have something (at the very least) to say.

Hell, knowing him, if someone’s troubling you all he usually has to do is look in their general direction. His entire demeanor gives off the impression of “Don’t fuck with me” and he’s all for standing up for you.

Even during the trip to Egypt, he seemed much looser with his grip on his temper when you were put into the line of fire.

If you’re sick, Jotaro’s surprisingly doting.

He’s extremely adamant that you stay home and rest up. Any reason you may have to get out of bed he’ll take care of himself without question.

If he can’t be there to take care of you (likely due to work), he’ll call once or twice while he’s gone just to check in on how you’re doing.

It’s quite ironic, considering how he acts when hurt or sick.

“I’m not sick,” he’ll insist in a scratchy voice, despite a reddened face and clearly runny nose.

“I’m fine.” Yeah, sure, Jotaro. Never mind the deep gash actively gushing blood all over his left arm.

Attempts to take care of him in anyway will be met with pushback, no matter how old he gets.

One reminder of how much he babies you when you’re feeling unwell is all it usually takes for him to begrudgingly accept your offer to help.

He’ll be silent throughout, but his refusal to look you in the eye is a dead giveaway that he secretly likes being taken care of every now and then.

(U)nique - What’s an unusual thing about him that’s oddly charming?

“JoJo… do you need something?”

“No.”

“Then why’re you staring at me?”

“I’m not.”

“You’ve been looking at me for the past ten minutes!”

(V)ariety - Does he prefer to keep the same routine, or spice things up?

Jotaro is a creature of habit.

He certainly likes to keep a usual routine. Having a familiar structure makes him feel comfortable and as though his life is maintaining stability.

Too many surprises or shocking events happening at once is at best annoying for him, and downright unnerving at worst.

He is a little conscious of this aspect of himself; part of him worries you may grow board of him.

That worry is unfounded, though. Especially considering something new or a shake up to the usual routine is accepted by him if you’re the one to do so. He’s so naturally considerate that he doesn’t even think of that being a factor.

Luckily for the both of you, it’s not difficult for you to ease his worries.

(W)ild Card - A random fluff headcanon

Jotaro’s a big fan of manga and usually invests his free time in catching up on his favorite series’s anime incarnations.

He’s been reading Shonen since he was young, and that interest carries over into his adult years.

Jotaro will certainly sit you down and make ask you to watch his some of his favorite anime with him. Saturday afternoons is his favorite time to curl up next to you on the couch and watch for a few hours.

Definitely the type to always sneak peaks at your reactions out of the corner of his eye. He hardly is the type to speak during a show or movie, but is glad to discuss with you after the fact. Please, discuss with him after the fact.

If you’re also into manga and anime before meeting him, he’s internally overjoyed. However, he is a bit critical.

Not to the point of being rude, but certainly dismissive of it at first if your tastes don’t exactly align with his. Jotaro has taste, and is quite proud of his selections. It may come off as a bit elitist… because it is.

He loosens up with time, and may even give some of your favorites a chance. He will never admit out loud to actually liking them, even after you catch him intently watching an anime of your suggestion on his own.

(X)OXO - Is he affectionate in public? How much PDA does he show?

Despite not being too outwardly affectionate or into PDA, everyone close to him can easily tell you’re together once a relationship is formed.

Joseph cheekily goes on and on about how he “totally saw this coming” (no he didn’t). Polnareff is patting the both of you on the back with a big, goofy grin (his world is crashing around him).

When the Duwang gang first met you, the teens of the group were going mental upon the realization that… holy shit… he’s married… !?

The group’s bewilderment was mostly kept to internal struggles due to both Jotaro’s harsh expression at any question relating to how on earth he managed to marry such a lovely individual.

Josuke specifically thought he was going to have a stroke. Unlike the others, he’s much more prone to speaking his mind even after the implicit warning.

After getting over his initial shock, he’ll berate his nephew for not previously telling him about his partner.

(Y)earning - How does he cope when he’s missing you?

It takes everything in him not to call you.

He holds out the first day of you being gone. It’s no trouble that he’s cooking without your presence, not at all. Ignoring the fact that he’s eating dinner without you cheerily filling him in on your day is no problem. Getting ready for bed alone is no big deal.

Yeah… definitely.

Jotaro will lay himself down in bed, facing your usually taken up side. He’ll find his hand reaching out m at the empty space, fingers curling around the sheets. A frown finds its way onto his tired face.

He’s calling you the next day. And after finally caving, he’s sure to give you a call each day or every other day after that.

Past events has made him wary of being separated from you for too long. And even though he logically knows he’s fussing over nothing, he still cannot help but cave to the small worry growing in the back of his mind.

That said, it isn’t too difficult for him to distract himself from missing you.

But being alone during moments that he’d usually share with you is enough to remind him of your absence.

(Z)eal - Is he willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, he will undoubtedly go to great lengths for you.

One could argue that, having been a part of the Crusaders yourself, an aspect of his actions against DIO were also influenced by a desire to avenge you as well as the others.

Jotaro isn’t above getting violent in your behalf, and would certainly jump through several hoops as long as your safe.

Part of this is because there’s an unspoken mutual understanding that you’d do the same for him (and you certainly have).

But more than that, Jotaro has a small circle of individuals that he would likely do just about anything for. And after everything the both of you have been through together, you’re at the top of that list.

198 notes · View notes

tightjeansjavi · 4 months

Text

Slow Hands | Chapter 10

“the lone moose”

A/N: disclaimer before we get into this chapter, this is a very emotionally/mentally heavy chapter that might not be suitable for everyone. The main topic of this chapter and the next is focused around Joel’s attempted suicide and Tommy’s C-PTSD. This content maybe triggering for some, and if that is the case, please do not read if you feel triggered. Warnings will be marked appropriately. Take care of yourselves first. And as always, a huge thanks to my beta @angelofsmalldeath-codeine 🤍

~word count: 6.9k~

Summary: the wolves of Jackson are lurking

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: !DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! thoughts of suicide, semi-graphic depictions of attempted suicide, brief moment of stigmatizing suicide (Tommy’s reaction) canon-typical violence, graphic depiction of an injury, semi-graphic depictions of childloss (and the trauma that comes with it) angst, grief, guilt, anxiety, heavy topics, anger, overwhelming emotions, C-PTSD responses, fear responses, no age gap, readers nicknames is Beanie (coffee beans) +18 minors DNI! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!

Slow Hands Masterlist

Two days had passed since Joel and Ellie took the steps together to make up. Joel already had a visible pep in his step, and a lightness in his eyes that Tommy hadn’t seen in his brother for over 20 years. Joel’s back still ached, but the pain was subdued.

Patrol was long and uneventful. The two brothers only had a handful of evidence gathered to present to Maria, but neither would give up hope. After untacking Tex and Timber, Joel and Tommy turned both horses out in one of pastures just outside the stables. Tess was grazing alongside the fence when Timber and Tex went to greet her.

A wave of melancholy washed over his features as he watched Tex and Tess nuzzle one another affectionately. He thought of you, of course.

“Hey, Joel?” Tommy asked alongside him with his arms resting along the wooden fence. “Y’wanna have a drink with me real quick at the Tipsy Bison before y’head home?” He rasped softly.

“I’d love to, but I promised Ellie we’d have a movie night tonight. Can’t go and let her down, y’know? How about tomorrow?” Joel suggested with a grin.

“Ah, movie night with the kiddo. Hey, I think that’s great that y’all are movin’ forward. Tomorrow sounds good.” Tommy responded with a genuine smile. It was a relief that he and Joel were growing close again. He missed his brother terribly.

“Yeah, and Beanie as well. I let Ellie pick out the movie. Think she said we were gonna watch Curtis and Viper 2.” Joel stifled a chuckle as he glanced down at the toe of his boots.

“Aw shit, that’s a good one! Well, you enjoy yourself, okay? Adios, big brother. See ya in the mornin.’” Tommy reached over and gave Joel a side hug before he pushed himself off the fence.

“See ya in the mornin, Tommy.” Joel mumbled to himself with a smile slowly creeping over his lips. Truthfully, he was rather excited for this movie night with you and Ellie. He couldn’t picture a better way to spend his evening than with his two favorite girls.

“Hey, Tex? Y’keep a good eye on your gal tonight. Y’hear? I’ll see ya in the mornin’, pal.” He spoke softly as his horse lifted his head from where he was grazing. He let out a snort in response as his tail swished away at the pesky flies.

The weight of Tommy’s letter in Joel’s pocket felt ten times heavier than when Joel first had written it. He thought about making a quick pit stop at the Tipsy Bison to give it to him, but tomorrow was a new day. He’d give the letter to Tommy first thing in the morning.

Ellie’s carved wooden fawn was tucked away in the inside pocket of his flannel. He brought it on patrol to show Tommy, and because he liked having a piece of his baby girl with him. Tonight he’d give her the gift, and to you, his precious star, something that twinkled like the night sky; matching charm bracelets. Two golden hearts dangling from the chains. Appearing brand new, untouched. The names Peggy carved into one, and Steve into the other. Lovers from the past, and now lovers in the present.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on your pretty face when he would present the bracelet to you. He said one last goodbye to the horses. He’d pass by your home en route to his own as he usually did every evening after patrol. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he noticed a figure looming in the distance. He squinted his eyes through the harsh rays of the setting sun. He approached the figure with cautious steps.

As far as he was concerned, no one ever hung around your home like this. It raised suspicions immediately. His boots crunched under loose dirt as the figure stopped their pacing and seemed to pause in thought.

“Cody?” Joel’s tone ran cold, edged with a sharp suspicion as his footsteps stopped a foot away. A balmy breeze sifted through his salt and pepper streaked tendrils.

The younger man looked around for a moment as the gears in Joel’s brain began to work on overdrive. He knew Cody, or so he thought. He believed Cody was a good man. They shared many meals, conversations—

“Have y’seen Beanie around by chance?” Cody asked casually as he ignored the obvious suspicion that Joel was facing.

Joel’s hackles raised on instinct as he watched Cody lean up against your fence with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Haven’t seen her since this mornin.’” Joel responded flatly. He knew right then and there that he had to play this cool for the time being. He didn’t need Cody knowing that he was onto him.

“Right. Well, thanks anyway, old man.” Cody muttered the last bit as he turned on his heel to walk away.

“What’re you doin’ hangin’ around her place anyway? Y’know I could have you—”

“Reported? Yeah, sure you can. What would you even report me for, Miller? Cody scoffed. “All you had to do was not get yourself involved. Coulda just kept your nose out of things, but that’s not how you play your game, right?” He turned to face the older man once more just as a distinctive crash was heard from inside of your home.

Joel moved quickly, but Cody was quicker. Stronger, and trigger happy.

Cody was pouncing on the older man like a predator does to their prey. They tousled in the dusty dirt before Cody had him pinned down. His fists rained down on Joel’s face and the pained groans only seemed to spur Cody on further.

“Just had to go and get yourself involved with that fuckin’ cunt, huh?!”

Joel tried to fold his arms over his head to block out the swift punches to his face. Cody was ruthless, and Joel wasn’t as strong as he once was. Years ago he would have snapped Cody like a toothpick, but his age was beginning to catch up with him and this was the result.

Through gritted teeth Joel attempted to use his weight to throw Cody off of him, but it was no use. “I’ll fuckin’ kill every last one of you. I’ll rip you limb from fuckin’ limb and scatter your remains to the wolves—”He growled.

“Yeah? And how do you propose you’re gonna do that, Joel? Y’ain’t the one with the upper hand here, old man! You’re not takin’ this from me! Imagine how proud he’ll be when I not only bring in the moose, but your precious Beanie too.” He sneered conceitedly.

That’s all Joel needed to get a second wind of adrenaline coursing through his veins. He growled between his teeth as he used what little remaining strength he had left to force Cody off of him. He was reaching for his concealed pistol tucked in his belt loop under his shirt, when Cody kicked it from his grasp just as the two men inside of your home came rushing out.

“Jesus! fuck, Cody! What the hell are you doin?’ This wasn’t part of the plan!” The one man, a burly fellow with scarred tissue from third degree burns that covered nearly half of the left side of his face yelled urgently. Through the rushing of blood, and pain stabbing every inch of Joel’s face, he recognized this man too. He recognized the man next to him as well, smaller in stature, but stocky. Alex and Oliver.

“Fuck the plan! I’m not gonna waste this opportunity!” He sent the heel of his boot right into Joel’s gut causing him to double over into the crimson speckled dirt with a pain ridden grunt. “Well?!” He threw his hands up in the air. “Was she in there or not?!”

Alex and Oliver slowly looked over at one another before their shoulders simultaneously slumped inward. “No, but—”

“FUCK!” Cody snarled out of sheer frustration. He couldn’t let him down. He was told he couldn’t show up empty handed. It wasn’t an option.

Just as Joel’s fingers weakly grasped the handle of his pistol, that lay only a short arms distance away, Cody sent his boot right into his face. There was a sickening crunching sound of bone matter and cartilage being crushed as Joel’s body stilled. He was knocked out cold from the impact as blood leaked down his face and soaked into the dusty earth beneath him.

Neither men moved as Cody began to pace in contemplation. He paid no mind to the consequences he would face for his actions.

“Cody, we need to get the fuck outta town right fuckin’ now! If anyone sees—”

“And show up empty handed?! Fuck no.”

“Cody, she wasn’t there. We have no fuckin’ clue where she could be. C’mon, let’s just go back and regroup before someone shows up and finds Joel layin’ in a pool of his own blood.”

Cody ignored his counterparts as he continued to pace in a tight circle. He suddenly stopped when the lightbulb went off in his sick mind. He turned towards the two men, with a smirk that could only be described as sinister, “Angie.”

Ellie was curled up against your body with her cheek pressed gently into your shoulder. Her eyes flickered towards the windows in the family room. She watched the last bit of sunlight dip behind the horizon as a warm summer breeze blew through the beige curtains.

Joel should have been home by now.

She waited with alert ears for the sound of the front door to squeak open any minute now. It never came.

She shifted against you before your gazes met. “Beanie, he should have been home by now.”

You understood full heartedly that this movie night was important to Ellie. This was the first time that she and Joel were going to be spending some quality time together after everything they had gone through. This was a big deal.

“Kiddo, I’m sure he’s on his way now. Maybe he and Tommy just got caught up in something?” You wanted to reassure her and yourself that Joel was in fact on his way, and maybe he was just running late.

“Beanie..he—promised. What if he’s ditchin’ me? God, this was so stupid.” She went to bury her hands in her face, but you stopped her.

“Ellie, he’s not ditching you. He would never do that to you. He loves you. I’m sure he’s just running late is all.” Your own fears began to crawl up into your subconscious. What if something was wrong? What if something had happened?

Ellie wanted to believe you, she really did, but her own fears were making an appearance as well. It didn’t help the fact that her last conversation with Joel had been about his suspicions of Lucas..

“I’m gonna go check the stables, okay? You stay here. Lock the doors.” Ellie was up from her spot on the couch before you could even attempt to stop her.

“Ellie,” you started, voice wavering from the building nerves, “be careful, okay?”

The teen looked over at you with a small, yet confident grin, “Always am.” Her face twisted back to a serious one as she tucked her gun in her hoodie pocket. Joel surely would have scolded her if he had seen it.

You listened to the soft click of the door opening and closing. Your eyes drifted over to the unoccupied spot on the couch where one of the pillows was smashed down. Joel’s spot. .

Please. Please just be running late.

Please be okay, Joel.

Tommy found himself reminiscing on the good ole days as he nursed his glass of beer. Condensation dripped down the outside of the glass like tear drops on cheeks. The noisy chatter that encircled him was drowned out by his thoughts. Joel had always been the protector, the planner, the guardian. And as a young boy, Tommy viewed Joel as his hero. His own beacon of light through the darkness. And when Sarah died? It all changed. He was angry. At the world. At himself. And now, here in this peaceful community, he was getting to see those small glimpses of the old Joel that had laid dormant for so many years.

The Joel that he knew and loved so deeply.

He left his glass half empty as he said his goodbyes to some of the patrol guys, and the barkeep before he walking towards the door.

He was heading in the direction of the home he shared with Maria when he noticed a mass laying just outside your home. He thought that his brain was playing a cruel trick on him, and the approaching dusk might have also played a role in what he was seeing.

Gravel and dirt particles crunched beneath his heavy boots as he started his approach. As he drew nearer, he was able to make out the outline of a body. And, oh—god

Tommy remembers the moment he heard the shot ring through Joel’s house as if it had happened just yesterday. While he gathered supplies in the garage, his big brother was upstairs with the barrel of a revolver pressed against his temple.

How could Tommy not have known? How could he have missed the signs? The indications that Joel was thinking of taking a drastic measure to end his life. How could he have missed it?

“Joel!” A younger Tommy Miller yelled in fear. He threw down the tool box in a haste. Tools of all shapes and sizes clattered to the concrete in a harsh crescendo.

“Joel! Please, no. Please.” He chanted weakly under his breath as his feet carried him up the staircase. He stumbled on the top step as a wave of nausea made its presence known.

“Joel!” He yelled again, more desperately than the last. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his brother so soon. He couldn’t. Not when just days ago they laid Sarah to rest. He couldn’t do this without Joel.

Sweat pooled at the back of his neck the closer he drew to the ajar opening of Sarah’s bedroom. He held onto the wall for support as his knees began to inevitably buckle from the dread crawling up his throat.

“Joel.” He croaked, “please. Please be alive in there.”

With a shaky breath, and through a mess of tears, Tommy pushed open Sarah’s bedroom door.

“I missed.” Joel murmured in disbelief. Disappointed that he couldn’t just do one thing fucking right. He couldn’t just follow through with his promise. His final wish to be with his daughter. His baby girl.

His palms trembled as his dull brown eyes flitted down to the revolver still in his grasp. He paid no mind to the blood slowly trickling from the right side of his head. Just a graze. Missed completely.

“Joel, what the fuck did you do that for?” Tommy wasn’t sure if he should laugh, cry, yell, all of the above? “You’re bleedin’, brother.”

“Oh.” Joel responded flatly. He brought his fingers up towards the right side of his head. He hardly flinched when his fingertips dragged through the flowing blood. He brought his hand back down to his eye level, fingers soaked in crimson. Then, the ringing started. Tommy’s voice started to sound fuzzy from the right side. “I flinched, Tommy. Thought I could do it. I was so sure—”

“Joel. Stop it, please.” Tommy nearly begged his brother as he cautiously moved in closer.

“I wanted to die, Tommy. I ain’t have anythin’ left to live for.” He refused to make eye contact with his brother purely out of shame.

“Killin’ yourself ain’t gonna bring Sarah back, Joel. Its fuckin’ selfish that you—” His words were bitter, jaded, sharpened with intent to harm. “I fuckin’ need you, Joel. I need my big brother to keep us alive. Is he still in there?” He pointed to Joel’s chest, symbolizing his heart.

When Joel finally brought his chin upwards to face his brother, the look on his sunken features shattered Tommy right down to the core. A broken man, father, brother. The same man that helped Tommy with his homework. The same man that taught him how to ride a bike. The same man that Tommy viewed as his hero. Where was he now?

“He died along with her.”

“Joel!” Tommy felt his voice get lodged in his throat at the sight of his older brother laying motionless in the crimson stained dirt. Panic began to swell and fester like an untreated wound the second his eyes landed on Joel’s handgun just an arms length away.

“No. No. Please— what happened, Joel!” He sank to his knees alongside him. “We were just—talkin’ about how much you were lookin’ forward to the movie night with Ellie and Beanie, remember? You said that you would see me in the mornin’, dammit!” He yelled, slamming one of his fists in the dirt before he took a shaky inhale. “Remember?”

He wouldn’t hurt himself, would he? The thought flashed through his mind briefly. He remembered finding Joel in a pool of his own blood after Sarah died. Tommy brushed away strands of Joel’s hair that were congealed together with blood. His brows furrowed intently when he found there was no bullet hole in Joel’s skull before he pressed his middle and pointer finger right against Joel’s pulse point.

Please. Please. Please still be in there, Joel.

When the faintest pulse was detected, Tommy let out a visible sound of relief. His big brother was alive, but Tommy knew he had to act fast.

“S’alright, big brother. You’re alright. Gonna get you fixed up.” He murmured to himself just as he heard approaching footsteps.

“Tommy?..” It was Ellie. Her voice wavered at the sight of her uncle and father on the ground. “J—Joel?!” Her eyes were wide with oncoming tears brimming when she locked in on Joel’s unmoving body.

“Tommy, wh—what the fuck happened?!” She blinked away her tears just as Tommy stood up from the ground. “Is he fuckin’ dead, Tommy?!”

“Ellie, I don’t know what happened. I was on my way home and—found him like this. He’s alive, kiddo. He’s alive, but we gotta get him to doc right away.” Tommy never felt like he was all that great at taking on the protective role, but his niece needed his comfort and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

Ellie wasn’t listening to a word Tommy was saying. All she could focus on was Joel’s bloodied face and still body. Her emotions were consuming her entirely before she felt Tommy’s warm embrace wrapping her up. She let her tears soak into his shirt as she clung to him for dear life.

“Ellie, I know you’re scared, kiddo. But I need ya to be strong for me, and for Joel. We gotta get him to doc right now. I need you to help me carry him okay?” He spoke in a soft tone, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “He’s gonna be just fine. Your old man has always been a fighter.”

She squeezed her uncle tightly before pulling away from his embrace. She wiped what remained of her tears away on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’ll—I’ll take his legs?” She questioned rather than suggested. Seeing Joel like this, bloodied, weak, on the verge of—

“Ellie, he’ll be okay.” Tommy firmly reassured her again. He bent down over his brother and gently hoisted him up under his armpits while Ellie lifted him up by his legs.

Joel felt like dead weight, but his brother and daughter’s determination helped them power through the dull ache and strain in their muscles.

Tommy hated hospitals just as much, if not more than his brother did. The pungent stench of bleach, the droning hum from the overhead fluorescent lights. It was unappealing, cold, and overall a dreadful experience. But out of all of the late night visits to the ER after another bar fight, this by far was the worst of all to see his brother unconscious, dried blood crusted on his skin. Yet appearing peaceful while Doc checked his vitals and any signs of internal injuries

Ellie was seated next to her uncle nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Her leg was bouncing up and down frantically, until Tommy gently placed his palm over her knee in an attempt to soothe her.

“Well, he might have a bit of bruisin’ to his ribs, and his nose is definitely broken, but it’ll heal. There’s a chance he might be concussed, but I won’t know that for certain until he wakes up.” Doc said while tucking his clipboard under his armpit.

“I’ll stay here till he wakes up. Don’t want him wakin’ up alone.” Tommy said with a slight nod in Doc’s direction.

“I’m staying, too.” Ellie was defiant, of course. It was in her nature, and she couldn’t fathom not being by her dads side—

“Ellie, I’m gonna go and find someone to walk you home, okay? One of the guys on patrol..maybe a couple, given the circumstances.” He needed to make sure his niece got home in one piece, first and foremost.

Ellie clenched her fists, lips pressed tightly together as her eyes met Tommy’s in an intense stare. He could see residue of dried tears on her cheeks, and fresh ones beginning to brew like an oncoming storm. “Tommy,” she started, voice low, yet stern. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving him. I’m not. You can’t—”

“Ellie, I know you want to stay here with him too, but somethin’ about this ain’t right. You and I both know that there’s been some suspicious activity happenin’ as of late. Joel is goin’ to be okay, kiddo. He’s as stubborn as a mule.”

Her lower lip wobbled under the bright fluorescent light. She wanted to be angry at her uncle for telling her what she needed to do, but he was right, and there really wasn’t another second to waste. “Don’t you dare even think of leavin’ his side, Tommy. Don’t you dare.” She wiped her eyes along the back of her hand before making the final decision to get up from where she was sitting.

“I won’t, kiddo. I promise.” Tommy reassured her.

She walked over to the right side of the bed where Joel was lying and gently ran her fingers through a few stray curls that were stuck to his forehead. Dried sweat, dirt, and blood littered his hair and face. She leaned down, whispering something while she pressed her lips to his temple, squeezing her eyes shut.

Please don’t die.

Tommy left the room to give Ellie a bit of privacy. He flagged down a nurse in the hallway and quickly explained that he needed someone to ensure Ellie safely got home. It was decided that two patrol members would escort her home.

When Tommy returned, he was with Jesse and Liam waiting outside the open doorway.

“Ellie?”

Her head snapped in the direction of Tommy’s voice as she quickly wiped away the remnants of her tears.

“Jesse and Liam are gonna make sure you get home safe. Okay, kiddo?”

“Sure.” She muttered. Agreeing with her uncle didn’t mean that she had to act happy about it. Despite her feelings, she made a point to hug her uncle before she left the room.

Don’t leave him. She reminded him.

Sunlight warms his skin, birds chirping in the high treetops, a soft breeze rustles through his hair, kissing his temple. He knows this place, where he stands. It’s—

“baby girl?” He chokes out, stumbling forward in an uncoordinated motion.

She’s there. She’s alive. She’s got daisies in her curls.

“Dad?”

He nearly drops to his knees right at the spot where he and Tommy dug her grave all those years ago. He stops in his tracks as she turns around to face him. She’s wearing the same clothes that she died in, except there’s no blood. No bullet wounds. She’s untouched. Bright, glowing under the rays of sunlight.

“Are you really here? C-can I hold you? Are those daisies in your hair? Baby girl, I’m so sorry.” The words tumble past his lips like an avalanche of word vomit. His heart lurches in his chest, leaping from the confines of his ribcage.

Sarah’s feet carry her swiftly to her father before she’s wrapping her arms around his middle, hugging him tightly with her cheek pressed firmly against his chest. “I’m really here, dad.” She squeezes her eyes shut.

Joel’s arms wrap around her immediately, hugging her to his chest as tightly as he can, he’s trembling, tears blurring his vision, dripping down his cheeks and landing softly on her head of curls. He pulls away only to gently cradle her face in his strong, calloused, gentle hands.

She’s here. She’s alive. His baby girl.

“Dad..you—you remembered our favorite spot?” Her smile is beautiful, radiant, full of life.

“Of course I did. Our hikes, the fresh air. We—we loved it out here. I—I never forgot. Baby girl, I haven’t forgotten you. I—I think about you everyday. I’m so sorry. I miss you..I miss you so much.”

Her hands come to rest against the patches of his now graying beard. “Dad, you don’t have to apologize. I’m okay, I’m happy. I miss you too, dad. I miss you so much, but Ellie, she needs you. I’ll always wait for you, I promise. I’m always going to be right here.” She drops one of her hands from his face to then point to his heart. “I’m always with you.”

His face falls as his thumbs gently stroke her cheekbones. He’s not ready to leave, not yet. Not so soon. Too soon. He needs more time. Time. Time. Time.

Ellie.

“You—you would have loved her, baby girl. She reminds me so much of you. Her smile, her laugh. I see you in her. She’s—she’s my blessing. My second chance..my light in the darkness.” He sniffles, leaning down so he can press his lips to her forehead.

“And she needs you more than ever now, dad. She needs you. You have to forgive yourself, okay? Please promise me that one day, you will forgive yourself, dad. Promise me.”

“I promise you, baby girl. I promise. Daddy loves you, okay? He loves you so much.” There’s so much more he wants to say, so much more he wants to tell her, but there’s not enough time. He knows it.

“Dad, I love you so much. Tell Tommy I miss him too, okay? I’ll see you again one day, when the time is right.” She hugs him one last time as he buries his face into her mess of curls, holding in his sobs as more tears begin to fall.

“When the time is right, baby girl.” He murmurs.

—

“Well, brother. Guess it’s jus’ you and me now, huh?” Tommy wants to laugh, but he can’t. His emotions are all fucked. Everything is so fucked.

“That kid of yours really loves the hell outta ya. You’re like two feral cats.” He continues, forcing himself to stand and walk over to his brother's bedside. “And I know how much you love her.” He murmurs as he glances down at the nightstand where the contents of Joel’s pockets are laid out.

The two charm bracelets, the wood carving of a fawn for Ellie, and a folded piece of paper now tarnished with blood and debris.

“One of these for Beanie?” He asks while gently picking up one of the charm bracelets. “I’m so happy you listened to my advice and went to her coffee shop. I jus’ had this feelin’ that you two would hit it off.”

“You love her, huh? Like..really love her? I’m glad, Joel. I’m glad that you’re finally allowin’ yourself to love, and be loved. If anyone in this fucked up world deserves that, it’s you.”

He sets down the charm bracelet alongside the other before he picks up the wood carved fawn. One of the delicate ears had broken off during the fight, but it was fixable. “Ellie is going to love this when she sees it. You’ve always been..a giver, Joel.. Always thinkin’ of others before yourself. Puttin’ your heart out on the line. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I’m so grateful that you met Ellie when you did. You saved her, but she saved you just as much. Turned that cold heart of yours into somethin’ good again.”

He placed the fawn down gently before he eyed the folded piece of paper. “Y’still writin’ those letters? Have they been helpin?’ Y’know, I thought about writin’ a couple myself.”

Something in his gut tells him that this letter..is meant for him.

He swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he reached for the piece of paper and picked it up with trembling fingers. He sees his name written on the outside, and his vision goes blurry with tears. “You..were gonna give this to me tomorrow when we said we were gonna meet at the Tipsy Bison?”

He slowly sinks down along the side of the bed, unfolds the letter and begins to read it silently.

Tommy, this is the third letter I have written thus far, so hopefully this comes across the way I have intended it to. Ever since we were just two little boys scraping our knees up on the playground, telling each other secrets, and holding each other tight when mom and dad would argue into the odd hours of the night, I always found myself being protective over you. I ain’t even sure if it had anything to do with age, and more to do with the fact that it’s been instilled in me since birth that I'm a natural protector. I’d do anything to keep you safe.

I’ve never told anyone this, but the day you told me that you wanted to join the army, and make a difference in the world, I wept. I soaked my pillow with my tears that very same evening cus’ I realized I couldn’t protect you anymore. You were eighteen, and ready to take on the world. Selfishly, I didn’t want you to go, and I know that war changed you. I know what it did to you, and you were no longer the little boy hiding under the covers from the thunder and lightning. You were molded into a man right before my eyes, but you’ve always been my little brother, and ain’t nothin’ gonna change that.

I know you blame yourself for the night that we lost Sarah. I still remember the grief in your eyes. You tried so hard. So fuckin’ hard, and I’m so sorry for what I became after she died.

A stray teardrop fell along the thin paper as the word ‘died’ began to blur from the sudden moisture.

You literally had to pry her cold body from my arms because I refused to let go. Even when we dug her a shallow grave near the woods she loved to hike in, you had to stop me from crawling into that goddamn hole with her.

24 hours. 1 day since the outbreak. 1 day without his baby girl

“She’ll be happy here, Joel. She gets to rest in her favorite place.” Tommy murmured as he set the shovels down next to the grass covered earth that would soon be dug up to create a shallow grave for Sarah to finally be laid to rest. The younger Miller brother hid his grieving behind a stoic face. He didn’t want Joel to see how much pain he was in. He wanted to be the strong one for once in his life, especially since he blamed himself for Sarah's death. If only he had been there sooner. If only he had acted quicker, maybe she would still be alive.

Joel was unmoving as he held his deceased daughter, who had long since grown cold and stiff in his arms. She was wrapped in a sheet, as Joel couldn’t bear to see her unmoving eyes any longer. He had shed his last tears, as he watched his brother begin to dig a shallow grave. As the minutes ticked by, Joel was realizing that after Sarah was to be buried, he no longer would be a father, and the thought made him feel queasy. What did he have to live for if he was no longer a parent? What was the point?

“Tommy..” Joel croaked, “I–can’t let her go.” He choked up as the weight of the world was beginning to press down on his shoulders. He held Sarah close to his heart where his chin came to rest upon her covered head. “Tommy, we–”

“Joel, we have to let her go. Brother, please. She’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do to bring her back. I’m sorry.” He was. If he could go back in time and take Sarah’s place, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Joel’s eyes began to glaze over with fresh tears as he began to frantically whisper to Sarah as if she could hear him from the other side. “S’okay baby girl. You’re okay. Daddy has you, and he’ll see you soon. I promise. I’m coming for you, baby girl.” He pressed a firm, promising kiss to her covered head before he slowly lowered himself onto his knees along the edge of the hole in the dirt. He could feel stomach acid rise up his throat at the thought of the earth, and mother nature consuming his baby girl. He wanted to go with her.

Tommy watched with a heavy heart as he watched his older brother gently place his baby girl into the shallow grave. His own tears began to silently fall as images of a newborn Sarah flashed in his mind. He remembered the pure joy and love that radiated from Joel the moment he got to hold his daughter for the first time. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

As Tommy willed himself to begin shoveling the dirt he dug up into the grave, he watched in horror as his grief-stricken brother nearly had crawled into the hole. He dropped the shovel in a haste as he grabbed ahold of the underside of Joel’s shoulders and yanked him back.

The soul-shaking, torturous, anguished sound that cascaded from Joel’s mouth, was one that chilled Tommy’s blood. It could only be described as a grieving parent refusing to let their only child go.

Tommy still has nightmares of it.

I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t just fuckin’ pull myself together for both of us. I know how scared you were, Tommy. I was scared too. I was terrified. I was supposed to be the big brother then. The one who had all the answers. Who could come up with a plan at the drop of a hat to keep his little brother alive. Instead, you had to fill that position. You stepped into that role because I gave you no other choice. If you didn’t force me to leave that spot where she died, I would have rotted there with her. I never thought for a moment about the pain that you were feeling. I lost a daughter that night, but you lost a niece, and a brother all in one night.

48 hours. 2 days since the outbreak. 2 days without his baby girl.

It was Tommy’s idea for him and Joel to return home to gather up as much food and supplies they could get their hands on. Joel was apprehensive, but Tommy reassured him that they wouldn’t have to stay long. So, Joel reluctantly agreed. Their neighborhood was dead silent with no signs of life to be found. The bombs that the government had dropped only impacted the major cities, and left the small neighborhoods untouched from their destruction. It would have just been another day if it weren’t for the familiar bodies scattered in the street. Both Tommy and Joel avoided looking at the deceased body of Nana Adler as they crossed their front yard.

“I’m gonna grab what I can from the garage, and then I'll meet you inside? Grab a couple of backpacks and stuff it with clothes, and anything else you think we might need. Okay, Joel?”

The older Miller brother could only meekly nod as a non-verbal response. He was too focused on remembering that he had stashed a revolver in his office drawer for safe keeping. At least it would be quick.

Tommy was unaware, clueless to Joel’s plan to end his life. He knew his brother was mourning, but he never had thought about the drastic measures he would take to be reunited with Sarah.

As Joel ascended up the stairs, memories of his life before the outbreak leaked into his mind. A five year old Sarah running down the stairs to avoid bath time after playing outside all day. Sticky with sugary sweet syrup from a popsicle, and dirt and twigs stuck in her head of curls. Joel patiently demanded that she needed a bath. Well, Sarah had other plans of course and Joel would have to catch her first.

He could hear her gleeful giggles now; almost sweet music.

Soon, baby girl. I promise.

His footsteps were soft, and undetected as he padded down the hall to his office area. His hand grasped the handle as he slowly turned it and pushed the door open with ease. Everything was right as he left it. Blueprints for a new project he and Tommy were working on. A school paper from Sarah that she had left for him to proof read. A stale cup of coffee. Tommy’s note tacked to the corkboard that Joel kept from when they were kids. A life preserved in time. He reached for the note as he gingerly plucked it from where it was pinned. He folded it carefully before slipping it into his pocket. He wanted to have a piece of his brother with him, always.

Joel didn’t feel nervous as he opened the file cabinet drawer that contained his concealed revolver. He greeted it like an old friend as he grasped it firmly in his palm. The coolness of the metal diffused his clammy skin. He could do it here, he thought silently. No, he wanted to be closer to Sarah. To be comforted by her familiarity. So, he left his office and went straight to her room.

As he brought the barrel of the gun to his temple, he felt calm. He felt ready. More ready than he had ever felt in his entire life. He felt sorry for leaving Tommy to fend for himself, but he knew that his brother would survive, and he’d be better off without him anyway.

As his finger hovered over the trigger, he observed Sarah's untouched room. From the crumpled sheets along her bed where he had tucked her in for the very last time, her discarded backpack, her posters, trophies from soccer, and all of her photographs. Photos of her and Joel. Her and Tommy. She was the happiest kid ever, and that’s how Joel wanted to remember her.

As his finger gradually applied pressure to the trigger, he flinched. The bullet missed, and grazed the right side of his temple. His right ear was profusely ringing as he dropped to the carpet like a bag of bricks. He could faintly hear Tommy’s shouts and footsteps racing up the stairs as blood slowly trickled down his face.

Tommy, I was selfish. I was selfish for wanting to take my life and leave you to fend for yourself. My baby brother. The same brother I swore to protect till my last dying breath. I was a coward, Tommy. A weak, selfish, pathetic coward. I wanted to take the easy way out. The cheap way. I just hope you still don’t hate me for it. I hope you don’t hate me for putting you through the trauma and pain of almost losing me too. Sometimes I wonder if my attempted suicide triggered your thirst for blood. As if I am the direct cause for the carnage you partook in when we joined Tess and her raider group. Sometimes I wonder if all those times that we murdered people, that you pictured me on the other end of the gun. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the brave big brother that you always believed me to be. I’m sorry that even over twenty years later, I’m not me. I’m not the Joel that you looked up to. I’m not sure if I'll ever be that version of myself again, but I am ever-so grateful that I am still your brother. Your flesh and blood.

I hope that one day you’ll be proud to be my brother again. Till then, I'll always have your back.

-Your big brother, Joel. The one that held you when things went bump in the night.

Tommy isn’t even aware of how much time has passed while he reads Joel’s words over till they're practically burned into his brain. He doesn’t feel the shifting of the coarse sheets, or see Joel’s fingers twitch at his side.

“Tommy..” Joel croaks, voice hoarse and barely audible.

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