#but when it's people i'm actively organising with who are also doing this on their own free time as volunteers etc

[songofwizardry]

i like organising things but what i do not like is the experience of trying to run something that requires input from like three different lots of people on four different groups all of whom i communicate with via text when the other lot of people has asked me for something, always after 8pm at night, and always (no matter how serious the matter actually is) all these conversations take on some varying tone of urgency in my brain bc if they do not answer or we don't have a decision before i go to bed nothing will get done until i am back from work the next day at 5pm. truly most annoying experience.

[elodieunderglass]

On the topic of the monarchist animals I'm just really curious. What makes the winnie pooh real animals bourgeois? It's not like they own much more than the others. Do they just have bourgeois energy?

(In reference to my addition on this post; https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/748488762087047168/hold-on-lets-do-this-properly-paddington)

In the post I state that none of the stuffed/toy animals in the Winnie the Pooh series are monarchists, but that the real animals are bourgeoisie. Obviously this is tongue in cheek, but it’s still politically interesting to me because nobody ever reads Winnie the Pooh as an actual book. They just draw depressed Disney Eeyore and think they’ve done something.

Owl and Rabbit are real wild animals that live in the Hundred Acre Wood. The other characters in the story are Christopher Robin’s stuffed animals.

The “real” animals (reasonably) consider themselves to be separate from the stuffed ones, but where it becomes unreasonable is how they assume superiority and how they use this to exert authority.

(A charming response about how the stuffed animals view this: Piglet points out that Rabbit is both clever and Has Brain, and Pooh replies that this is why Rabbit “doesn’t understand anything.”)

Owl is characterised by being a bit of a fraud. The stuffed animals respect him for his presumed education and literacy, but even a preschooler understands that Owl can’t actually read. he actively deceives the other characters in order to maintain a higher social status over them. (Actually, Rabbit’s the most literate character in the Wood.) Owl gains relatively little advantage from this status, apart from his belief that he is superior and the pleasure in everyone deferring to him. A notable theme throughout the written series involves characters approaching Owl for advice, based on his self-made reputation of being wise and thoughtful, and him giving explicitly bad advice, rather than admit that he has no idea how to help. Also, they forcibly give him someone else’s house, in such a way that the actual possessor of the house (Piglet) feels he can’t speak up. Pooh immediately offers to Piglet that he move in with him, which even as a kid felt like an incredibly unsatisfactory solution to having the shyest character’s actual house given away to the character who casually lies about everything just to feel superior.

Rabbit is a grown-ass adult real wild animal. He is the social leader of a massively large family and an extended group of hangers-on (he has fifteen or seventeen close relatives, and the extended Friends-and-Relations are a sort of army); he is the only actually literate person in the narrative, so it is understandable that he feels this (although he also believes Owl can read.) literacy and Brain are considered very important in the Wood.

Rabbit believes in his own superiority and believes himself to serve as a sort of cadet to Christopher Robin. In the series Christopher Robin is the ultimate judge, and a kindly ruler; Rabbit positions himself constantly at Christopher Robin’s right hand and wants to be his enforcer. Christopher Robin, who is five and a fairly distracted God, does not really enforce anything. This does not stop Rabbit from trying to organise the entire Wood. It’s frequently mentioned that Rabbit wants to feel important, he wants to be the Boss. A beautiful, beautiful commentary on his character is when he wakes up feeling “important, as if everything depending on him… it was a Captainish sort of day, when everybody said “Yes Rabbit” and “No Rabbit” and waited until he had told them.” Fantastic!

However, we can see where this leads him. In the first book Rabbit is shown being hostile and actively anti-foreign in his approach to other people. When kanga and roo arrive in the forest - sanctioned by Christopher Robin who has received new toys - Rabbit instantly says they have to get rid of them. Like there is NO friendship in Rabbit’s heart here. There is no “god has placed a new friend in the wood so we have to get on with it.”

Rabbit’s anti-immigration stances are funny, and in-character, and shown by the narrative to be wrong and unfair. But they’re pretty unleashed.

His plan is to kidnap the baby and hold it hostage until the mother agrees to “leave the forest forever and never return.”

This is not a normal response to a new character. It is in fact fucking unhinged. Coming from the most normal-adult real animal in the story, it comes out of nowhere. “We have to eliminate them instantly. Take the baby hostage, blackmail the parent and deport them” Rabbit these are war crimes.

Anyway it’s all very heartwarming as Rabbit learns that he likes Baby Roo. (Their relationship grows warmer as Baby Roo says “yes rabbit” and “no rabbit” better than anyone else.) We never really learn why Rabbit is so violently anti-immigration that he instantly jumps to doing crimes, but it’s possible that he doesn’t like the threat to the status quo. Baby Roo, by deferring politely, thus turns out to be a valuable social inferior for Rabbit’s power base.

But in the next book we also get another new character introduction: Tigger. rabbit does not like tigger. In fact, he stops visiting Roo because Tigger lives with them. Rabbit, frustrated by Tigger’s bounciness, also decides to deliberately trick and bully Tigger in order to make him “small and sorry.” The fact that this comically backfires on Rabbit is part of the Pooh-lore storytelling style, of course, but it’s still something obvious even to the preschool audience - that isn’t how you treat your friends.

In conclusion, due to their hoarding of (social) capital and behaviors that prop up an unjustly unequal social system, I think the real animals in Winnie the Pooh are a bit bougie.

[tyquu]

Ah I remember my question now!! Since Ezra is a growing boy, how does that impact his prosthetic use? I'm assuming they can't just go get him refitted like normal... do they help him resize? Do they build new parts? Or help him find some?

Hiii!! :D) So I doodled out my thoughts as I pondered this question but my handwriting is ass so… I’m also gonna write a little summary too!

Ezra's first Prosthetic was given to him by the same people who performed the amputation on his leg in the first place. Some concerned Lothali citizens who couldn't bare to watch him hop around on his severely infected leg any longer. 12 year old Ezra was pretty pissed about it though (understandably). It didn't help that his first prosthetic was old as balls and awful to walk on.

Thankfully, using bits n bobs he'd collected out on the streets, Ezra was able to tighten the loose hinges at the joints and modify the top to fit better. Alas, he ended up loosing this leg after bopping Kallus over the head with it pretty early on into joining the spectres.

Hera set him up with a pair of crutches and then devoted herself to finding him a replacement. She was determined to find something that was better than his last prosthetic and thought she'd struck gold when she figured out Vizago had one sitting in storage. She haggled hard but eventually managed to pocket the rarity, and delivered it back to Ezra. Sabine helped modify it fit to properly, and to Ezra's delight he discovered that the hinges on this leg were motion activated, and could pack an even better punch (or kick) than his previous one.

Ezra hadn't really manage to curb his habit of using his leg as a weapon on occasion, and during such an incident ended up losing leg 2 (much to Hera's despair). Thankfully, Sabine had helped Ezra do enough maintenance on his last two legs that she was confident she could fix up some similar prototypes using her engineering skills. The spectres all contributed to a scrap box that would be used to build replacement legs whenever Ezra ended up losing or outgrowing one. All of them were very dedicated to scouting out parts for him and happy to help with maintenance.

At some point the rebellion had gotten large enough to start having a more organised healthcare system, and Ezra was offered a spot on the surgery waitlist for cybernetics. Ezra was initially hesitant, however, post the incident on Malachor he eventually agreed.

The cybernetic, although not the most advanced for it's time, is connected to his nerves giving him full mobility over the prosthetic. However, it came with it's own new quirks that took some getting used to. Detaching and Reattaching the cybernetic takes between 2-5 minutes to do, and often requires tools to help, rendering it no longer an option as a spontaneous mid battle weapon. As a result there was no longer need for him to cut holes in the left leg of his trousers either.

Ezra doesn't sleep with the cybernetic (same as one wouldn't with a prosthetic) cause it would be hella uncomfortable. On lazy days, he often goes without it, opting to use crutches around base instead. The cybernetic is waterproof, however, in both snow and sand it can sometimes become clogged and stiff, and may need extra maintenance after the mission is complete. The ghost crew is always willing to help pitch in with their engineering expertise (mainly Hera, Sabine and Chopper) or spare part gathering.

Anywho,,, yeah. I hope that sort of answers that question?? I'm not 100% familiar with how prosthetics and cybernetics work in the Star Wars universe so forgive me if some of this info doesn't check out. ( also if u see a spelling mistake,,, no u don't)

[prettieinpink]

How do I stop procrastinating getting my life together. I'm not sure if you understand what I mean....as in how do I stop procrastinating getting out of my comfor zone to do better

GUIDE TO DEALING WITH PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is delaying a task because of fear or anxiety about doing it. If you frequently procrastinate, it may result from your current mindset. In this post, I will discuss the reasons behind procrastination and how to overcome it by getting started.

AVOIDANCE MINDSET

If you’ve been in their comfort zone for quite a long time, you may be familiar with this term. An avoidance mindset is when we focus more on preventing possible negative consequences, rather than pursuing positive outcomes. This leads to procrastination, avoiding risks or challenges and generally staying in their comfort zones to avoid discomfort and failure.

This mindset usually stems from a fear that is holding you back which is keeping you ‘safe’, which is why we feel discomfort when trying new things. Fear of failure, wasting time, rejection and change are a few common ones.

Doing self-reflection or quizzes are the most efficient way to identify your fears if you haven’t already. Challenge negative beliefs that cause that fear to grow. 

The recommended way to shift your mindset from an avoidance one to a growth mindset is by focusing on the benefits that you’ll get from it. E.g.

‘Exercising is too hard’ -> ‘I’ll feel good about myself after’

‘Studying is boring’ -> ‘I’ll be proud of myself after achieving high grades’

‘Meeting new people is scary’ -> ‘I can’t wait to have a new friend’

PRODUCTIVITY WITH PROCRASTINATION

BREAK TASKS INTO SMALLER CHUNKS, and if it seems too difficult, do it over a week/fortnight. When tasks are smaller, they seem simpler and easier, so we don’t feel the need to delay them. For example...

Deep clean my room -> Wipe down all surfaces & put new bedding OR Monday I’ll wipe down surfaces, then Wednesday I’ll put new bedding. 

 MAKE THE TASK SPECIFIC. If the task is vague, it can seem too daunting to start because we have no idea how to start. For example, instead of saying studying for my science test, say do 3 rounds of science flashcards. We know exactly what to do, so it doesn’t give reason for us to delay it.

HAVE A ROUTINE. Having a consistent daily routine helps us to stay on track because our brains love routines and familiar activities, and it pushes us further because our brains will feel discomfort if that routine is not done. 

However, if you are someone who procrastinates, avoid micromanaging your day. It can seem way too overwhelming, but even if you do it, it can lead to being burnt out. 

KEEP ORGANISED. Being in an environment which is constantly cluttered, or having no way to remember everything that goes in your life, will make you have a cluttered mind, A cluttered mind will influence your actions to also be out of place.

DEVELOP A GROWTH MINDSET. I do have a post on this which is linked on my masterlist. The whole idea of a growth mindset is to embrace the idea that failure further improves us, instead of setting us back.

[saint-vagrant]

for the love of god stop with these Rational Thinkers' paragraph + italicised "VOTE!" posts. is anyone moved by this? i've seen "vote for whoever you like, but just vote" VOTE FOR WHOEVER BUT JUST DO IT? BRO! that's somehow more pathetic than demanding that you back biden or else you're too young and too old and too stupid and too academic and ultimately a traitor if you came to a different conclusion and act, to your best ability, in accordance with your ethics.

like yeah you'll do whatever and so will i, i guess. but it's psychically painful to see this totally coincidental influx specifically since october 2023. people calling leftists (well specifically anti-imperialists &/ communists) "russian/chinese/3rd party agents" who are "lying to you to stop you from voting." it's been worded as "your friends are lying to you." that is so cool. it's like 2016 in here. yday i saw "voting isn't about which leader will sign off on your glorious revolution" which is such a snide misunderstanding of... most things, i think? it's giving "proudly launching headfirst down stairwell." more than half the time i check out OP, they're openly a zionist, or end up there by default in the sense of being a bland milquetoast etiquette-obsessed "let people enjoy things" centrist who's so mistrusting of information or pattern recognition that if you possess either you're corrupted by "ideology."

why would it be necessary to lie? what purpose for a big convoluted conspiracy? for whom IS this simplistic, condescending, dispassionate shit anyway??? surely not for the people whose families are burning alive, thanks to the american government who robs and brutalises its own people in order to fund further massacres. because how could you look that person in the face and tell them "no, you don't know fuckall about how things run around here. now is the time for political decorum" ?? there must be such a sense of comfort in the idea that those people are "over there." like i think it's pretty unfortunate that a lot of these posts begin by citing some ~dramatic~ ~babybrained~ "take" committed by disgruntled "western" posters (who are spies) but when i heard the source, or when i go find it, it's by a palestinian or muslim person or just someone from whom it like, kind of makes sense why they feel the way they do! but then it's characterised in such a vague wussy ass way! huh??!!! like it seems very convenient to ignore WHO is organising/mobilising/criticising, WHO is protesting and abstaining, so that these posts come off more sound and reasonable than the leftist sleeper agents who appeal to emotion over sense. and i'm not even telling you not to vote! i'm wondering why it's so impossible to conceive of a reality where a marginalised person or group concludes that the health and safety of their community will be sought and achieved through other means. you really can't imagine that? that's dumb to you?

so i guess i, too, don't care what the hell you do with your precious little life, but it is So Fucked to talk down to people about genocide like it's a petty, inconvenient wedge issue we have to sidestep for the greater good. fwiw voting isn't wholly irrelevant to me, And Also, i understand being against a system means, for many, abstaining from its approved tools and pouring efforts into direct action. this is not a new approach! greater good is sought and achieved mainly and actively on the ground— not from above. moreover, there is no good greater than opposing and ending genocide for fuck's sake! jesus!

[ivyinne]

I feel like I'm in the minority here but I just feel like... I don't like Stuart. And I don't mean I think he's boring or reprehensible or a badly written character, I specifically mean that I don't think his relationship with Neil is as affectionate or parental as people make it out to be.

Fanon Stuart is overwhelmingly portrayed as someone who cares about Neil. Being actively involved in his life, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Fanfics even go so far as to have Stuart fight for Neil if he ever incurs the Moriyamas' disfavour — and I love that relationship. I love that exploration, I love seeing a Neil who at least has his mother's family in his corner.

But in canon, we hardly have any evidence to support that version of Stuart. All of their encounters have an element of business to them; Stuart rescues Neil from Nathan but that wasn't what he came down there to do — he came there because he just really, really disliked Nathan. Finding Neil was unexpected, and the first thing Stuart did was leave him there as a distraction for the FBI.

Still, it's not like he could have helped things on that front. The same way he tells Neil he can't protect Neil after the whole deal with the Moriyamas has been struck — it's just not something that can be helped. In TSC, Stuart comes to meet Neil to walk him through a plan designed to protect the Moriyamas — because that's who Stuart has allied with, and that's who Neil belongs to. It's a business transaction with a common denominator, and I see very little evidence that these two have the sort of relationship fanon maintains they do.

I know there are crumbs here and there to indicate that they do have a positive relationship, I just don't think they consider each other family, or that there is even any uncle-nephew bonding going in. Neil orders the hit on Grayson, and Stuart treats it like it's a query from a stranger. Really, Stuart? It's your organisation and you're not even gonna offer your own nephew a family discount?! I know Neil has his blood money but he's spent so much of it — and he's a student!! Who has pledged 80% of his future earnings to a crime family!! Maybe just do him a solid this once?

I think it's best explained by this example — in the EC we came to know that the Moriyamas will eventually end up getting rid of Stuart in favour of another leader within the Hatford set-up, and that before doing so they will ask Neil if he's going to be a problem when it happens. And Neil will be pretty broken up about it, but he's certainly not going to be a problem.

Which is the crux of the matter: as the canon dynamics stand, Neil and Stuart's relationship is simply too regulated by a careful balance of politics and crime and power for them to ever view each other as family. They operate in fucked-up contexts and their normal interactions are too much the product of belonging to crime families and knowing the price of necessity. Do I think they're callous about each other? No. But there's certainly no overflowing familial warmth there either.

I love that fandom explores the potential of what their dynamic could have been. But I don't think it's canon. Feel free to share any disagreements or alternate reading you have of the text, though, because I'm really open to changing my mind! And I'm also really curious about why a large part of the fandom has interpreted Stuart as having such strong pride and attachment over Neil in the first place.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for- well, several things really, but mostly responding how I did to an ex-friend.

So. A few years ago I (20) joined a discord server and made some great friends! January 2023, I got into a long-distance poly relationship with three of these people- Quartz (19), Bird (20), and Jorts (20) (all fake names, ofc).

Things went really well, for a few months, I realised I had (what I thought at the time was) a crush on another friend, Fudge (17). (I was 19 at the time, and later realised that this was a form of alterous attraction, but that's another thing entirely.) I mentioned this to my partners, and Jorts mentioned also having a crush. We encouraged each other to confess, and did so, both of us emphasising that we weren't expecting a relationship and just wanted to clear the air.

Then, in June, I realised how shitty I had been feeling about my relationship with Quartz. He never messaged me, he refused to take part in anything I organised, and he was actively hostile towards my interests. I broke up with him a few weeks later, and we agreed to stay friendly, at the very least. Jorts had been feeling the same way, and broke up with Quartz a few days later.

Quartz blocked both of us a week later, and left every server we shared.

In early August, however, is where I'm worried about being TA. A friend messaged me and told me the admin of the server we had all met on (Book- I'm uncertain on thier age but I know they're a minor) was messaging the other members of the server asking if they felt uncomfortable around myself and Jorts, as Book was looking to see if we needed kicked from the server. They named Quartz and Fudge as the reason they were asking, as both felt uncomfortable around Jorts and myself.

I left the server, as did Jorts, and contacted Book a week later and asked what was going on. After 6 hours of no answer (I knew they were online, thier avatar said so) I threatened to block them if they didn't respond. They did, and we had a rather terse conversation about the situation. I got rather angry, and sent some harsh message to them, including dismissing thier anxiety condition with my own and telling them "I won't feel safe in [Book's server] ever again", but so did they- they called me "fucking weird", and called everything that was happening "the consequences of [my] actions".

I blocked them after this conversation and haven't spoken to Book, Quartz, or Fudge after this.

The day after I blocked Book, Bird sent an invite into Book's server to a server he had set up "for people who want to keep in contact with Jorts and [me]".

Most people from Book's server joined, except Book, Fudge, Quartz, and thier partners.

Now, I know that Book, at the very least, is an asshole. That's not what I'm asking about.

I want to know if I'm an asshole, especially on the following points:

Breaking up with Quartz knowing that Jorts was going to do the same very soon

Confessing to (what I thought was) a crush on a 17-year-old when I was 19

Being harsh towards Book when confronting them about going behind mine and Jorts' backs

Making a new server and possibly driving people away from Book's server

-Nebbia (Submitted 13/10)

What are these acronyms?

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Happy 4th December - No, we are not there yet

Sorry in advance, this is a bit of rant, which is not something I usually post. But it's a wet Monday morning and I've had a really frustrating weekend, and today, on this anniversary of maybe the biggest piece of gaylor lore, the pictures and headlines I'm seeing just tipped me over the edge into a rant.

So, on this 4th December 2023 it is 9 years to the day that the world woke up to grainy pictures and videos of Taylor Swift, the world's most famous popstar and America's ultimate good girl, allegedly kissing a woman at a 1975 concert. And the tabloids and social media went crazy over it. And not in a good way. I remember the way I felt, so very nauseated about reading words like 'lesbian affair', 'shocking' and 'fling', not just on Taylor and Karlie's behalf, but the way it made me feel about myself, too. I was brutally reminded that 'lesbian' in 2014 was still seen as a dirty word and society's default was to see sapphic relationships as something scandalous and a fall from grace, rather than something beautiful. To this day I look at this photo and can't help but feel awed by the love and intimacy that their body language exudes, but the world didn't see it that way, they were just obsessing over whether they kissed or not and how to spin that into a dirty story.

That was almost a decade ago. So, have we made progress? Is it all fixed and every queer person (especially artists and celebrities) can live authentically and freely? Well, no, of course not, as was possibly proven again this weekend by Billie Eilish, who confirmed that she is gay (more or less unplanned) in an interview. Nobody should be surprised as she was never subtle about her queerness, yet it cost her over 100,000 social media followers in just 24 hours after explicitly coming out. Being gay, especially for women, is only acceptable when mainstream society don't have to see it. Don't talk about it and God forbid, don't kiss in public. Never mind that straight people do it all the time. The very same tabloid paper that printed kissgate pictures with the word 'shocking' next to them, put Taylor on the cover two years later and described her romance with Tom Hiddleston as 'exciting' and 'sexy'. And on the very morning I see the tweet about Billie, I find this message in my inbox:

Why indeed...? And I was of course expecting Taylor to show up at another football game, but to see her looking somber in a Carol-esque red fur coat, while her partner and all her friends are having a lovely time in LA... it just makes me angry today. Yes, maybe we've made progress in same ways, but we are still so far from where we need to be for everyone to be able to come out without repercussion. In a better world, Taylor would have been in a gorgeous dress next to her wife, rather than sitting next to the girl who would have bullied us in High School.

(And btw, not only was Rebel Wilson blackmailed into coming out by the Sydney Morning Herold, she has lost thousands of followers and has pretty much focused on film making rather than acting since coming out. Maybe this was always her plan, but also, maybe not. Interesting, that film making is also seemingly becoming Taylor's second career leg...)

So, anon who sent me the question above, take this as my answer. Why is the most famous popstar in the world not out in 2023? Most likely because it would cost her so much of what she's worked hard for over the last 17 years. Not withstanding that the answer may also be 🛴 and what he did in 2019 that prevented her from coming out then, the world is just not a very good place for a celebrity to be anything other than straight, white and cisgender. And after 10 years of activism in LGBTQ+ organisations, today I feel a bit deflated by that. But with every single person who feels brave enough to shout their truth from the rooftops, we break down the walls a little more each time. 🌈

[saintsenara]

SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD ASKING A HP TUMBLR BLOG FOR LIFE ADVICE BUT IM SO CURIOUS HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR TIME

this is a genuine answer.

i think it's very important for there to be no doubt about the fact that - without medication - i would be fucked. there are plenty of non-medical ways of helping to manage adhd, but stimulant medication is the frontline treatment for a reason - no matter what the latest moral panic says. you cannot girlboss your way out of having an incurable neurological condition - and i will be honest that the few people in my life who think that you can are also the few people in my life i consider to be actively contemptible.

time management starts and ends with easily having executive function - and "easily" is the operative word. i can - of course - survive without medication - but i do so while stalked by a constant state of nervous energy which is just exhausting. not least because it ruins my sleep.

[the experience of realising that - no - you're not semi-nocturnal, you've just never before been properly calm the first time you take your pills... exquisite.]

and when i'm in the state of relative normality that legal amphetamine use brings, i manage my time by...

1. wearing a watch

no checking the time on my phone - i'll just get distracted by scrolling.

2. setting huge numbers of alarms

beat time-blindness with this one weird trick.

bonus points - if you're someone who finds it hard to switch between tasks or gets stuck hyper-focusing on things, then set the alarm and then put the device it's on far enough away from you that you have to move in order to turn it off.

3. putting everything on the wall

if you are dopamine-challenged, the best tip i can give you is that you are deluding yourself if you think you can use normal diaries/planners/to-do lists. this is why you probably have cupboards full of them.

stick everything on the wall, where you can see it, and set it up in a way that you can easily move tasks around [i.e. by using a whiteboard you can erase, or sticking your planner inside a plastic wallet and writing on it, or by having everything on sticky notes you can move around].

numbered task lists [i have to do x first, then move onto y] are a no-go - because if you don't do x, then you won't move onto y. but having groups of tasks - organised by urgency or difficulty, for example - which are right there in front of you can be selected from work much better with the adhd brain.

4. being a shark

by which i mean, being constantly on the move. desk chairs are the enemy. never sit still.

if you have adhd - and, to be frank, even if you don't - you will find that doing something physical while you need to concentrate on a task improves your ability to focus on that task. it also helps with managing time-blindness, task-switching, hyper-focus which is to the detriment of what you're supposed to be doing, and being easily distracted.

when i'm at work i literally never sit down. i use a standing desk [which, if you have a diagnosis of adhd and you're uk-based, counts as a reasonable adjustment your employer has to provide for you, fyi], and i have an under-desk treadmill [which i had to pay for myself, which i do not regret in the slightest] for tasks which really need a lot of effort to power through.

at home, i have an adjustable desk which i use as a standing desk or which i sit at while using an under-desk bike [which i use when i'm likely to get stuck hyper-focusing on something and need not to be - like if i'm writing fic but i need to meet up with friends at a certain time - because it's really uncomfortable and it therefore compels me to get up] or an exercise ball [the effort of not falling off really helps with concentration].

obviously, these types of movement are possible for me because i'm not physically disabled - it will look different for everyone, but any level of physical movement [including using fidget toys] helps with time management by improving focus.

5. body-doubling

this is a classic adhd-and-productivity thing, which means having someone physically with you while you work. they're not there to supervise you [or indeed to engage with you at all] - they're working on their own things - but the way that the adhd brain is primed for pattern recognition [and is very good at mimicry] means that you end up falling into the same rhythm as the other person.

if you need to complete something in a finite amount of time, then having someone you can body-double with is really useful, because you're less likely to get distracted from or overwhelmed by the task at hand. similarly, having a double helps prevent you getting stuck hyper-focusing.

6. owning my shit

everyone - even the most neurotypical of people - is late, or misses deadlines, or forgets meetings, or puts off tasks sometimes. it will happen no matter how brilliant your organisational system is. it's part of life.

but if you have adhd, it's very easy to fall into "well, this is just what i'm like" thinking - both self-critically ["i can't improve this, i'm a fuck-up"] and self-indulgently ["he has no right to be angry at me for being late for his party, he knows i have adhd"]

untrue. if you struggle with time management you have a responsibility to get a grip on aspects of those struggles which inconvenience other people. you will have to be quite strict with yourself in order to do this - i've ended up in a position, for example, where i'm always extremely [and often inconveniently - i do a lot of lurking outside the function waiting until it's time to go in] early for things. this is because i know that if i give myself an inch ["oh, i can wait fifteen minutes before leaving, it'll be fine!"] then i'll take a mile ["fuck, i should have left half an hour ago"].

so too with tasks. that "you can do this later... just go on your phone for a bit" voice is the devil speaking. do not listen.

i'm afraid that i've not found this becoming more intuitive with time - i have to be constantly strict with myself, in a way that neurotypical people don't - but it's just the way it is, you just have to do your best.

be community-minded about the things you need to do, be proactive in identifying what your weak areas are and thinking about how you can get around them [as i've said, mine is being late, and so i'm always hyper-alert about not slipping into complacency around this] forgive yourself for the odd slip, say sorry without caveats to people you inconvenience, thank people who are gracious, and extend grace in turn.

7. taking every bit of help going

i'm open about my diagnosis at work - which is a piece of good fortune which isn't available to everyone.

[although, if you're uk-based, a diagnosis of adhd counts as a disability under the equality act - your employer is obligated to make reasonable adjustments for you, you can't be dismissed just for having adhd, and you are entitled to bring a claim of disability discrimination if you are not provided with reasonable adjustments. you are also entitled to apply for an access to work grant - which provides financial assistance for adjustments which fall outside of the reasonable costs your employer is legally obliged to incur.]

i have adjustments at work [not only my standing desk, but things like permission to record meetings and to have all instructions issued in writing] and i feel absolutely no shame over it. if i can get something for free from the government to make my life easier, i will take it.

i am also absolutely shameless about taking advantage of my colleagues to help with time management - using them as body doubles, or asking them to get me from my office so i'm not late to things, for example - and i take advantage of my friends and family along the same lines.

human beings are social creatures - this is literally what we're designed to do - and it's incredibly important to reject the "i owe nobody anything" paradigm [which is one of the most egregious crimes of modern, poorly-regulated therapy]. i receive support, and i repay it turn by doing things for the people who help me.

8. constantly having a little treat

i am a grown adult with three degrees and a mortgage. i have also been known to use a star chart for a little flutter of pride in myself.

if you have a time management triumph, give yourself a little treat. you deserve it.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear MagISoWo,

I'm a werebear who lives with my (found family) sister and brother. My sister is a vampire and my brother is a werewolf. Lately I've been feeling a bit lonely, as they are often very busy and it's been difficult to make time to spend with eachother like we planned before moving in together. I've considered going out in search of new friends, but I'm not entirely sure where to start, as along with the fact of --to put it bluntly-- me being socially inept, I was hoping to find other were-bears to talk with considering neither of my parents were and I don't think I've known any others besides myself. Im sure there are support groups that could be provided, however I think that method may feel a bit unnatural when forming connections, though if you feel these groups are the best route to take, any resources would be gladly appreciated.

Thank you,

-Misha

Dear Misha,

Thank you for reaching out, we're glad to hear from you! You definitely don't have to join a support group to meet new people, there are many more casual social events in our community too. We do not know of any that are geared towards werebears specifically, but the shifter community is very vibrant!

Many bars and clubs host a Supernatural Saturday, so that might be a good start if that's your scene. But there are also walks, picknicks, book clubs, and all kinds of other events organised by members of the community specifically to meet like-minded people. We keep a calendar on our website of social events specifically suited for members of particular groups.

There is also Fangs, Fur and Feathers, a support group turned social club with members of all kinds. A lot of their members are shapeshifters and even if their activities aren't your style, they can certainly help you find gathering spaces that are!

Best of luck, and always feel free to drop by one of our community centers,

~ the MagISoWo Team

[meraki-yao]

I also have something to add to this anon's ask https://www.tumblr.com/meraki-yao/743384157947920384/i-want-to-hear-your-opinion-on-this-please-if?source=share (your answer is perfect as always, so if I overstep, I'm sorry if I'm not organising my thoughts clearly here)

While I'm not in the fandom, I'm still a fan, which means I follow some people to keep up, and I'm interested in what Nick and Taylor will do next.

The thing here is that there's a group within Twitter fandom that's demanding more from Nicholas. And while they're aware of his need to promote two more projects, him signing books in LA and Milan when possible, leaving Taylor on his TikTok following list*, it's not enough.

Personally, most of these stans are being dramatic because they're not getting more. So, instead of being rational, they start to “joke around” (I'll come back to this later)** by saying Nick doesn't care, he moved on, he doesn't want to be part of a sequel, Taylor and him are not friends, and they bring up his personal life and socmed activity.

A part of me wants to think these people are very young and incredibly online, so they base everything around it, ignoring real-life interactions during their outbursts. Another part of me thinks they're shippers, which eventually ends up being problematic because they see their interactions through that lens. If they don't interact, they hate each other, they are just co-workers, or something happened between them. If they interact, they're besties, they love each other, or they are something else. Like, on socmed, there's no winning for them. It's intense. You cannot see all of that, read some nasty comments, and then say, “I miss when Nick was more active here.” Like, it's obvious why he doesn't want to be active.

I sent you an ask weeks ago about parasocial relationships, and I think these things go along those lines: Most of these people think they know them, they understand their reasoning, and while we do have snippets of their personalities, we don't know them. We're not their friends, and we cannot justify bullying and nasty comments as “it's just a joke, people take things too seriously” because you think it's nice to destroy someone else's work just because you don't get your Instagram likes.

I even read “Nicholas owes us more pictures and content. It's the least he can do.” And he did, for a few days. But he's an actor — he'll have more gigs and eventually RWRB will be another project dear to him. And so for Taylor. And Taylor is signing all these books and going to these events because can go, and most importantly, it was his first leading role. He's extremely proud of the project and of him as an actor. And he'll also move on eventually.

What's more annoying is that we're all aware of a sequel project, and just because Nick is not talking about it any more, they go, “He won't do it because he hates it/now he's too big,” not noticing that they're also implying that Taylor is “less important,” which he isn't. Matthew already said that if Taylor and/or Nick aren't on board, there won't be a sequel, but hardcore fans decide to ignore that part. Nick has never been part of a project this big that actually can have a decent sequel, so there's a big chance of him being part of it. He does care.

I think some people are just very dramatic, and they're not responsible about what they write. So, based on that, it's best to curate your experience as much as possible and recognize problematic accounts/takes on people immediately. Otherwise, it won't be enjoyable.

*I think Nick has been doing some cleaning (I think it's common for him, said by people who have followed him for a while) and he's working on more projects with awarded actors. I think that Taylor has become a good friend of his within the industry, which is good. They've also said Nick's socmed activity is very random and to not be taken seriously because he does a lot of random stuff, but then again, people ignore that.

**Usually these replies come when people start to point out that their comments are wrong, cross boundaries, etc. It's like a way to deflect. But you can tell that it's not really a joke if it's repetitive, which is what's happening right now.

I truthfully don't have much to add. Your points are absolutely spot on, and you organized it very clearly. Thank you for this.

I think I'll just one thing, I was talking to @pippin-katz about this whole rivalry issue, and they said the problem is these people want certain things from the boys, and when they don't get it, they become these violent, malicious comments.

We as fans are not in a position to dictate how they should live their lives. Frankly we're not in any position to dictate people how to live their lives, no one but our own. People need to realize this.

Again, thank you so much for your addition.

[kudouasagi135]

About the pharaoh!shinichi au!

This AU is free for artists to draw without permission but if you're a writer who wants to use this AU, please ask me first as I'm thinking of writing this as a big fanfic.

Comedian side stories though are welcomed, just tell me first what you are planning to write. (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

People who are seeing this for the first time, let's make a small recap!

Kaito is an Egyptologist, who accidentally found an old tomb that wasn't yet discovered when visiting the Valley of Kings.

The tomb is small and not made well for a pharaoh, but the writing on the walls stated perfectly that the person buried inside was pharaoh.

Kaito entered the tomb alone and ignored the warning words written In hieroglyphics over the walls.

The tomb is protected by the curse of the pharaoh.

Kaito eventually finds the stone sarcophagus of the pharaoh and uncovers the lid to come face-to-face with a mummy staring into his soul.

Kaito is killed by the Pharaoh's curse and is sent to the underworld where he is to be given judgment for his misdeeds in his lifetime.

He is found guilty by the ancient Egyptian gods and his heart is about to be Ammit but the pharaoh stops them from destroying it just in time.

The young pharaoh suggested Kaito get resurrected into his teenage body before he started his criminal activity as a thief to remove the punishment as Kaito had brought justice upon even more unforgiving criminals, so giving him a punishment sounds a little unfair. And the young pharaoh, king Senzo, is to keep watch over Kaito to make sure Kaito doesn't do criminal work ever again.

In other words, they want him to catch the organisation again but this time without using KID's name.

Kaito doesn't have any other options and agrees.

And hurray! Now he has a pharaoh's spirit lurking around him 24/7 while also redoing highschool from scratch and catching Snake over again as well!

Calling the pharaoh Senso though seemed lame and weird to him, especially that the pharaoh can let others see him if he willed it, so he decided to give him a Japanese name.

"You're name from now on until the end of this is Shinichi, any objections?"

Too bad Shinichi was distracted by the fluffy guest room bed to even respond to him.

And this is basically it, reblog all you want, I don't mind, any questions can be sent to my ask.

And also if you want to know, all the above is ancient Egyptian folklore from my home country (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) And if you want to know more about this you can search on Wikipedia "Book Of The Dead", I confirmed the variety of the information, so don't worry ;⁠)

Now, Peace out! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

[csuitebitches]

Hi! You're amazing and your page is amazing. I'm a girl who's really interested in growing and building my life. My mental illness has taken so much from me, so I feel I am starting life over this year like a little baby while everyone else is an adult. I often feel VERY insecure around friends who are normal and have achieved so much and have not made the many mistakes that I have.

I now have been isolating myself because I usually feel so ashamed of myself when I'm with them. I barely have any cooking skills as a female, I've never held a real job, I never network or connect with anyone, I have felt so miserable with a scowl on my face everyday, and I barely know what I'm doing with my life now in college.

As I am now working on my character flaws, how do I still feel I am loveable to my friends, stop pushing everyone away, and stop feeling like hiding when I'm with them?

everyone was once in your shoes. Were your friends born with their job? Were they born accomplished? Was Gordon Ramsey born with a knife in his hands? Have you seen the video of him crying because of his mentor Marco Pierre White?

Ive lightly burned my fingers, my food, set off the university dorm fire alarm because of my initial cooking skills. I’ve melted a spatula. I’ve burned countless toasts, broken glass bottles, had a whole bug infestation because I forgot to close the fridge tightly when I left uni for summer. Then I learned. I watched more YouTube videos. I practiced cooking. I can objectively say I cook better than my mom today because I made the effort to learn.

A master was also an amateur once.

“I never network with anyone” it’s good that you can admit the things you need to work on. The way you address problems like this is:

a) are there networking opportunities near you?

b) can you look up conferences and opportunities near you?

you assume that your friends have not made as many mistakes as you have. Do you go on a radio show and tell the whole world about every mistake you’ve made in your life? Even with close friends, one does not always reveal every single thing or sometimes, doesn’t feel the need to.

your journey is your own. The exam paper of your life does not have the same answers that your friends have written.

you’re not going to magically wake up accomplished, you’re going have to work towards it. And the best part is, you’re in college! That’s such a great stepping stone because you’re in an environment that’s programmed to help you grow if you can use your cards right.

can you join any extra curricular clubs or activities? Or ask your professors or the counsellor for internship opportunities? Can you organise an event like a bake sale or something for the local charity? Can you take up volunteering opportunities?

your insecurities are holding you back. You’re not any less lovable than the friends and family in your life. You have control over your own life. When you choose to actively put yourself out there, start socialising, engaging with people - which can be difficult for some people but always rewarding - you’ll start seeing change.

unfortunately the world doesn’t revolve around us. If you’re unhappy with how things are, the remote control of your life is in your hands.

you’re already working on yourself which is great. That means you have the intrinsic motivation to do something. It’s time to stop moaning and whining and start creating a plan of action.

tackle things one thing at a time. Don’t start with 10 things.

From your message it seems like:

You need help with adulting - cooking.

job - ask your college counsellor/ professor of your favourite subject for internship opportunity, on campus or off campus.

purpose -find a hobby, sport, volunteering cause, something that you like that you actually enjoy.

look at these three problems in the best positive light. It means you get to learn all these things you didn’t know! It means you’ll be able to meet new people who could become really good connections!

make your life simple. Progress doesn’t mean going from burning the kitchen down to cooking a three course meal. It means taking one week to learn how to fry an egg. It makes taking a week to learn how to make a decent pancake or some rice. It means screwing up 10 times and then finally getting it right on the 11th.

allow yourself to make mistakes. Acknowledge to yourself about them and move on.

Do not let your shame hold you back from living your life. We torture ourselves in imagination more than we actually suffer in real life.

I’ve felt embarrassed countless times in my life. I’ve slipped up, messed up, forgotten things, done what I wasn’t supposed to, held my tears back, been scolded, full blown cried, scribbled aggressively in my diary, ranted to my mom, had dramatic fights with my imaginary boss in the shower, woken up late, screwed up royally in important meetings. These are not original experiences. These are universal experiences. Anyone who is telling you that they have never felt this is a dirty liar.

I wouldn’t exchange those mistakes for the world.

How do you think I’m able to give you advice on this if I didn’t go through those similar experiences?

If you want to make changes in your life that badly, start today. Set three simple goals that are achievable. Set deadlines. Be your own parent. Get your life together.

[edonee]

You asked yesterday for someone to explain what trans people mean when we say we do or don't feel like a gender or sex. My comment is too long to put in the replies to I'm answering here instead. I don't really think this will change your mind at all, but this is the best way I can explain what it feels like to be trans masculine.

Seeing myself and having others see me as a girl was painful. I felt a deep sense of wrongness when people called me "she" and when people described me as a girl. It sometimes made me throw up, it made me cry, it made me dissociate. When I transitioned and people called me "he" or "they", I felt an overwhelming amount of joy. I felt like they were seeing who I was, I felt right. I felt this deep sense of wrongness in relation to my body as well - I couldn't stand seeing my breasts, I couldn't stand having a period, I hated the way my face was shaped. I also often felt uncomfortable when doing things or wearing things considered traditionally feminine, but I think that was because I hated that people used those to associate me with being a girl. Now, I often enjoy wearing clothing or activities that fit feminine gender roles. My point is, my dysphoria and my experience of gender is almost entirely based on how I feel most aligned with the gender designation of man, and not at all aligned with the gender designation of woman - rather than what aspects of those gender roles I wanted to participate in.

I don't think there's one simple explanation as to what it means to feel like a woman or a man or any form of gender that does not fit within the binary. I personally believe that we all have unique experiences of gender, and most people's match up with how they are perceived by society, but others make them feel dysphoric. I honestly agree with the idea of gender abolition - as long as we don't divide people by sex either. It would be great if we could all just exist as people without these arbitrary categories acting as defining characteristics of who we are.

I can't answer if, in that hypothetical society where we don't have genders, I would still experience the dysphoria I've felt about my body. I don't know - I'm sorry. I get that there are a lot of confusing things in play when it comes to gender and trans people, and I think it's great that people like you want to understand, and I get that it can seem suspicious when there are some things that we can't answer.

But I don't think that those areas where there's a lack of clarity need to push you away from supporting trans people. We are not claiming to be trans for some manipulative agenda, or just very swept up in internalized misogyny. Most of us are people who suffered a lot trying to exist as the gender that society ascribed to our sex, and now that we've found another way to exist, we feel freer. I feel like a man because I don't feel wrong when I exist as a man. I don't feel like a woman because I felt wrong when I existed as a woman. I don't see what in that is a threat.

Thank you if you bothered to read all of this! Have a lovely evening.

Hi ^^ good morning, I just read this and I'm going to try to make my point as linear as possible. I want to start off by giving you a definition of sex and gender (just so that there's no confusion over what I'm talking about) I've simply taken the definitions from The World Health Organisation as I find those exhausting and agreeable enough:

Sex is defined as the different biological and physiological characteristics of males and females, such as reproductive organs, chromosomes, hormones, etc

Gender is defined as the (of course variable based on place, culture, and historical period) socially constructed characteristics of women and men – such as norms, roles and relationships of and between groups of women and men.

I want to start by addressing what you said at the very beginning of your argument: you said that people perceiving you as a girl distressed you even to the point of physical sickness, whereas getting gendered as a man made you feel seen as your true self. First, I want to say that your "true self" can't be the social classification of characteristics attributed to either sex. Gender is, by definition, purely constructed, therefore any identification with either gender comes from a personal sympathization with its elements and not from an innate connection to a system that is man-made and cannot therefore borne any biological bond. Secondly, I don't want to make a diagnosis out of your experience, but that simply sounds like an extreme result of growing up as a female. With the way girls are treated in every society it's no wonder that the passage from childhood to girlhood is burdensome. When a male child grows up he becomes a person, whereas a female grows to be a woman. Very trivially, the reason why I used to identify as non-binary when I was around 13-14 was that I felt too complex to fit into something as shallow and one-dimensional as womanhood. Of course I'm not saying that's why you specifically feel this way, as there could very well be another reason personal to you that has shaped your mind and put you in a psychological condition where you feel alienated from your body. But even in that case, the argument of transgenderism still doesn't hold up. Gender is not biological, so of course anyone can identify themselves in and out of it as they please, but that doesn't change two things:

1) the structure of it remains the same

2) a female who identifies as a man is still female and vice versa

You also go on and say that your experience with gender comes from feeling aligned to the “gender designation of men – rather than what aspects of those gender roles (you) want to participate in„

I find this definition quite feeble, as the "gender designation of men" is exactly equivalent to the gender roles linked to it, and nothing more. Again, I can't help but get the idea that the motive of your discomfort with femaleness stems from an underlying uneasiness with the poor way women are treated in a misogynistic society rather than an abstract and impractical affinity with the male sex.

Now, toward the end of your argument you hypothesized a world where gender has been erased, leaving sex as the only undeniable distinction between people, and you said:

"I can't answer if, in that hypothetical

society where we don't have

genders, I would still experience the

dysphoria l've felt about my body"

And, although I don't know you personally, I'm quite confident that the answer would be no. Feeling discontent over your body is not innate, it's learned (subconsciously or otherwise) through socialization. If you feel envy towards the male body and hatred towards your female body it is not because there's something inherently wrong with it, but rather because you aspire to the male gender class. Without sex discrimination & gender existing in the first place, there would be nothing that would make you resent your female body.

However, we clearly don't live in a word free of gender, so does that mean that we should endorse transgenderism for the sake of those people who suffer from dysphoria? The answer is no. Dysphoria is a direct result of gender, therefore the solution is to question the very construct of gender, and not to go through medical procedures to change one's sexual characteristics in order to "be your true self". Just like anorexia can't be cured by starving, but only by deconstructing the underlying fixation with thinness and body image. Not to mention the idea that gender is actually real is harmful to feminism. It does not only solidify gender stereotypes, and promote the definition of certain behaviors as either masculine or feminine, it also strips words away of their meaning, making the fight for female liberation a nebulous movement that stands up for the rights of – who exactly? Females? Anyone who identifies as female? Men who say they are women?

I'm genuinely sorry that there are people who suffer to the point that they want to be the opposite sex, but I refuse to advocate for the idea that you can be born into the wrong body. Believing that your body is wrong is a fucking miserable way to live, and it's also simply not true.

Let me know if you want to ask me anything else, have a good day

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

hi :3 my 23rd birthday is tomorrow and if you have time/requests are open may I please have a set for Copia (or all da papas I’m just a Copia girly) celebrating his s/o’s birthday? I love your work and thank you so much for considering 💓

Happy belated birthday!! Sorry I didn't answer sooner, been busier than I thought I would be oops. I hope you had a wonderful birthday anon <3 very slightly suggestive so minors DNI. There's no smut, but all the same minors please scroll away (also tysm anon, it makes me super happy knowing that people enjoy my work <3)

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨

Primo isn't someone who usually celebrates his own birthday, but he will absolutely celebrate yours with you

You'll wake up to one of his ghouls giving you breakfast in bread with your favourite tea blend or coffee that Primo has made especially for you

He'll have his ghouls also put up a couple of streamers and some balloons to mark the occasion

Expect to receive the biggest, most beautiful bouquet of flowers that he's grown himself and put together in a beautiful arrangement just for you

It's a quiet celebration with just you, a few of your friends, Primo, and his ghouls out in the abbey gardens

The main gift he'll give you is a day trip to a luxurious spa owned by the Ministry. I'm talking massages, sauna, manicure, pedicure, whatever services you want all for free because he's paid for it all

At the end of the day, he'll run you a hot bath with some bubbles, scented candles, and relaxing music. You both relax in the bath together as you wind down after a calm but intimate birthday celebration

You'll both fall asleep together in bed watching a film, snuggled up beneath the covers

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨

Another Emeritus brother who will throw a small but intimate celebration

Well, during the day that is

The daytime celebration is you, him, his brothers, and your friends getting together for a lunch that he's planned out meticulously and curated just for you so that it's all your favourite foods and drinks

Practically buries you under gifts that he's either bought or had made for you over the past year. Absolutely spoils you rotten

He then takes you and some friends out clubbing at one of the Ministry owned clubs for the nighttime celebration

Reserved the VIP section especially for the occasion

He gets very touchy but doesn't go any further than lingering touches or pulling you into his lap to kiss you

That's being saved for when the two of you are alone later in the night nudge nudge wink wink

𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐳𝐨

I think a lot of people would assume that he'll wake you up on your birthday for certain bedroom activities to celebrate

And don't get me wrong, if that's what you want then he's up for that

But he actually lets you sleep in and when you do wake up you're met with a bedroom decorated with so many balloons and streamers and banners that you wonder for a moment if you've woken up in an alternate dimension

Terzo didn't get to celebrate birthdays much growing up as the youngest of the Emeritus brothers, especially with a father like Nihil, so he wants to go all out and make yours special

He spent hours in the kitchen after decorating and before you woke up baking you a birthday cake

It's your favourite cake, covered with your favourite colour and flavour of icing, and the words "happy birthday, tesore" written on top

Most of your day is going to be spent opening the ridiculous amount of presents he got you

A lot of the presents are homemade things, such as a photo album stuffed full of photos of you and him and your friends. He wanted you to have gifts that felt special and personal, so a lot of his time over the past month or so was spent making and putting the gifts together

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚

One thing you need to know about Copia: he is party planner extraordinaire

After spending many years being the one to organise all the Ministry functions and parties, he could probably retire and become an events planner whenever he doesn't want to be Papa anymore

Your birthday starts with you waking up to him softly singing to himself as he puts little party hats and costumes on his rats, wearing his own party outfit of a sparkly jacket in your favourite colour and a matching party hat

The party he's organised for you is breathtaking and everyone in the Ministry as well as your friends are in attendance

He struggled on deciding what to get you for your birthday, so he's bought a variety of gifts in the hopes that you'll like them

You might have to reassure him that you'll love any gift he gets you because he's so anxious about impressing you and making you happy

When the party is over and you're both back in your room, he does have another surprise for you

He gets his Papal paints out and paints his own makeup on your face. It's a very special and intimate act for a Papa and his partner that's almost like a ritual, so him doing this with you is an incredibly intimate and meaningful act that shows his love and commitment to you