#chapter 1 is ready but I want to know if I should commit

[keen-li]

All Aisle Ever Need 01 | jjk

chapter: 1/ ?

summary: You decide to take a risk and sign up for a program where you marry a complete stranger. You’re surprisingly okay with the idea—excited, even—though the occasional nerves still creep in. This could either be the best or worst decision of your life. Still, the mystery of it all feels thrilling, and you've made peace with not knowing the man you’re about to marry. No matter who he is, you’re ready to go through with it.

But on your wedding day, as you walk down the aisle, something makes you squint. There’s something familiar about the man standing at the altar. And then it hits you… you know him. You've made promises to yourself before, so many of them broken. This won't be any different...shit.

pairing: Jungkook x fem reader.

story type: series.

Genre: exes to lovers, second chance au, right person wrong timing, lack of communication, forced proximity, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut.

rating: m. Mdni

wordcount: 8.2k+

warnings for chapter: troubled parental dynamics/figures. It's implied that they are both grown, Jungkook is older than reader(the age is subjective). cussing. found family. none really from here on.

A/n: though of this whilst watching MAFS. i've been in a burnout and this got me out of it?. please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story.

anyways I hope you enjoys it.

date: 25/04/25

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story under cut.

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You've always bought the same type of clothes, jewellery, produce as well. Why would you need anything else when you enjoy what you have.

And maybe that’s why you’re in the position you’re in now.

You should’ve been smarter and known that emptiness would follow you soon enough.

 If you had taken the leap sooner--stepped out of the one-way route to love--you’d already be where you’re trying to force yourself now.

You would’ve realised that maybe what you’re looking isn’t in the men you find pleasure in.

You'd be getting married conventionally, and not having to sign up for some program.

Comfort comes cause the type of man you want is hard to find. He’s either already married or behind his desk overworking himself.

There is a little ego-death, just a little. Having to confront yourself on the type of man you want when you're at your limit is humbling. It should be something you know about yourself already.

You're not best at caring of yourself of late. When was the last time you had a self-care? You're still alive so it's fine.

Just like your type; you've been stuffing yourself behind your desk any chance you get.

But before your wedding you swear you’ll have a day to care for yourself. Physically at least.

You’ve been shaking your head for coming to this point, but your solace is in hope.

Putting your chance at love in someone else’s hands—someone trained, someone professional—might actually be the smartest move you’ve made in terms of relationships. That way, your own traits that have gotten you nowhere won’t come into play.

None of your past relationships have ever seen daylight because of how dumb you end up feeling for indulging in them, for believing they could be more.

They could never see the sun, let alone could they see the conversation of marriage.

You’ve tried to bring up the topic of marriage, and immediately they turn it down or change the subject. After that, you never bring it up again.

Honestly, after experiencing enough of that, you quit on the idea of commitment. Maybe you were stupid for wanting that.

What does marriage have that you can’t get from a simple relationship bound by an unstable verbal agreement.

You could definitely survive on that, right?

That’s what past you got by saying to herself.

You gave up on getting attached. It was just hook up and get out. None of them ever wanted anything serious, so you became that too. But it was never fulfilling, you thought that would be your answer. But it's not who you are.

You went on and it wasn’t long until you felt the emptiness of it all. And you had enough.

But still, somehow you still got stuck with the bro type. You'd like to blame lust but your therapist would like to blame your fear of being alone. You get her point but you don't think it fits your case well. You've never felt lonely or been afraid of it.

Anyways, you’ve dealt with that type for so long and you conclude if was just lust.

So, many of the guys following your frontal lobe development, have told you that you were too much. But all that meant to you was you knew what you wanted and they were not in the same frame. You have goals.

Now you want something serious and someone serious too. Someone who knows what they want and where they want to be in the future. Someone who’s going to have a plan immediately they see you. Because you do.

“I have to tell you guys something.” You clear your throat calling for your friend's attention.

Taehyung's head snaps to you. Jisoo on the other hand meets you with her eyes first.

You’d been hanging out normally, just chatting, laughing and catching up.

No moment was perfect enough to say what you wanted to, so you waited. But you’d been laughing and getting carried away with connected stories that the moment was not getting perfect enough.

For a moment you contemplated procrastinating the news. But if you procrastinated this any further you’d end up having no one at the venue.

So, being presented with the opportunity when a silence settled. It was now or never.

You want lie that it’s excitement, but there’s nothing exciting about the dryness in your throat.

You watch taehyung, seated on a stool elbows leaning against your island, and Jisoo standing next to you, walking from the fridge to the sink. Shit you have their attention.

That’s what you wanted. Speak.

You’ve been friends with Taehyung the longest because you were at the same high school, and you met Jisoo in university because you were in the same dorm and happened to be doing the same program. You all got along as a group and stayed that way. So, being there for each other through most life events, you have to tell them no matter how nervous you are.

And knowing them, what you’re about to say is far from  what they expect.

Due to the serious and nervous undertone in your voice, they stare at you closely, inspecting your awkward tucking in of lips. Normally, Taehyung would be quick to say something witty about your behaviour, but he’s silent, only making you more nervous.

You release your lips and suck in a breath. “Okay... promise not to judge?” You warn, watching them both, but focusing more on Taehyung.

“What the fuck are you 'bout to say?” He narrows his eyes at you like he does when investigating you about a boyfriend. Does he think that’s what you’re about to say?

“You’re not going to judge?” You ask once more for good measure but it serves to irritate them. You chuckle like it’s amusing. Nothing is amusing, not after you tell them.

“At this point, we will.” Jisoo exclaims with a laugh, and Taehyung follows.

"Yeah, we might just."

Feeling the non-existent pressure on your neck, you pull your mouth open. “Fine.” You mumble to yourself for encouragement. There’s no going back; you’ve already told them there is something to be said. “I’m getting married.” It comes out quick and rushed, if they hadn’t known you like they do it could’ve been sworn you had just spoken gibberish.

They look confused. Do you repeat yourself?

You probably shouldn’t have started it that way. You could’ve started with  explaining  the program. Cause now they think you’ve lost your mind.

The two stare at your empty ring finger, then at each other, and then back to you, hoping you’ll clarify with a mocking laughter at their foolishness.

“What?” you say fumbling with the finger. They look at you like you’ve finally lost your last marble.

“To who?” They thunder in unison, confusion dripping from each syllable.

The reaction doesn’t shock you, and you don’t judge the question either. But little do they know you’ve been wondering the same thing as well.

“Well, I don’t know that part, but...” you feel a little ashamed to say it because they will think you’re definitely crazy now. You’ve never been the type to do something like this. They knew you wanted to get married, but not this much.

“Do we need to get you on medication?” you're not on any medication but the words still spill out of Jisoo’s mouth with concern and shock.

Your news has, Taehyung sitting up with folded arms, his eyebrows knit so hard they could touch.

“You barely have a boyfriend, what do you mean marriage, babes?” You turn your head away from Taehyung’s eyes. This is embarrassing.

It’s true for them it’s quite the jump, but if you could just explain yourself...

“You're hiding a boyfriend?”

A boyfriend? it’s comical.

After your nervous laughter dies down, you elaborate. “No. I signed up for this thing where you get married to a stranger.” You explain, your hands waving as you speak. It’s something you always do when you’re defending yourself.

As you process the words to use, you realise it does sound not like you. You’d definitely react like the same. “It’s called Married at First Sight.”

“Wow.” Is all that you get back. What the hell do you do with that?

“I got picked, which means I’m getting married.”

“To a random guy?”

 You nod, lips folding again.

Telling your friends makes all this feel so real. You still can’t believe you signed up for this, let alone that you got picked. Something in you hoped you wouldn’t get picked because 1. what are the odds? And 2. maybe if you didn’t get picked, it would be a sign from the universe that you should just sit your ass down.

Your fingers fumble with the marble of your counter. As much as you’ve seen their reaction, you still don’t know what they think and it's making you feel more embarrassed. If they don’t support you or want you doing this, what the hell would you do? What if they think it’s stupid. “What do you think? You’re making me nervous.”

“I mean—how do you feel?”

“I’m okay." You scoff. “But I’m going into this so blind. And I kind of hate the feeling. But it’s nice to have the weight of finding a match out of my hands.” But having the control out of your hands is not like you, so that’s where the nerves are coming from as well. Cause what if they don’t give you what you want?

“Why’d you sign up, though? could’ve set you up with this guy I know.”

You appreciate your friends setting you up on blind dates; you really do. But they never go well, which is not on them but more on the guys. Surface level, they look like a match for you, but mentally and emotionally, they couldn’t be further from what you want. Maybe you need to look deeper than the superficial, which is honestly what this program is doing for you.

“Those don’t go well for me. You know that.” They do.

Did you mention that Jisoo is engaged? You’ve never seen her happier. She wasn’t even this happy when she graduated.

And you want that too. You’ve always thrown yourself into school and work to suffice for the love you weren’t able to feel. And growing up you always relied on academic validation. But it could only carry you so far after you hit every milestone and still felt nothing. The only thing that came close were the relationships. Situationships.

“You really want to do this?” jisoo coos.

“it’s not so bad to try"

“If they give you what you want.” Taehyung intersects.

You hope they do. “I wrote in detail, so they better.”

You have no clue what criteria they go by, but it couldn't be something contrary to your asks.

You get excited thinking of the perfect man for you standing at the end of the aisle. Like, gosh, you’re going to be so happy. Your stomach flutters already.

“They probably know what I need though.”

“Yeah. But you still want the basics, like—” Jisoo doesn’t even have a chance to finish when you cut in.

“Oh yeah... tall, smart, a man with a plan type of thing.” You feel so childish for being so excited about this. But it’s more about the excitement of having the perfect man for you. You try not to picture his physical appearance because you might end up disappointed if you linger on it for too long.

Taehyung and Jisoo smile, listening to how excited you are. If you’re happy, they are too; that’s all they care about. That what what think of and not that this is the most conventional way to go about it.

Returning to your cooking, you decide to dig more into their thoughts. “What do you guys think I need?”

Feeling experienced, Taehyung takes the lead to share. He’s heard and seen a fair share of your crushes and boyfriends and how it's ended, so he feels like he knows what you’d like. “Definitely a business-style, you know. Sleek back hair, tall, nerdy.”

“Is that what I give off?” You chuckle a brow raised. Embarrassed. You've definitely grown into that assumption.

You do. You’ve always been the academic type and Taehyung’s parents always trashed him for not being like you. Even though he wasn’t even a bad student. You always made him look bad. But that's all to say you’re smart and a work focused person,  so you need a man who is the same.

You also like to be control. Whether that’s knowing all the tiny details of an event, or planning all the trips. As much as he benefits from it, Taehyung is definitely sure you use it as a coping mechanism for something.

“You need someone who can take control.” He adds.

"But still obsessed with her." Jisoo chirps in and Taehyung couldn't nod harder.

It would be nice to have someone to do things with. But an obsessed man? You're not sure. You want him to love you but shouldn't be too overbearing.

“I feel crazy for doing this.” You bite your lower lip, letting your worries out a little. “Like I’m seriously going to get married to a stranger.” You believe it less the more you say it.

“It’s not the conventional way, but you know we’ll be there for you no matter what.” You warm into Jisoo’s rub on your back. You’re trying to mask your true nerves with excitement; you doubt it’s fully working, but you’re trying. “As long as you’re happy And he makes you happy.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” Taehyung promises, sounding more like a threat to your groom.

You seem serious about it and it must be if you got picked. So the only power he has is to be there for you as a friend. Its honestly not such a bad thing, if he wanted to get married he'd think of doing it like this too. It more thrilling. And there’s nothing Taehyung loves more than thrill.

Having your friends feels comforting, and it’s all you need. Really. But with how serious this is, you’re going to have to call your family soon, and you’re not ready for that. The idea raise the bile in you.

Unlike your friends, you have no clue how they’ll feel. You haven’t spoken to them in a while but the last thing they’d be thinking to hear from you is marriage. The last you remember none of them thought you were marriage material.

It's out of courtesy that you’re even telling them. But no matter what they say, you’ve already been picked, and you are getting married.

“it's still crazy though.” this isn't how he imagined this going. But he should be the last person calling you crazy when it’s the only thing he knows. But you get it; it’s out of your character to do something like this. But who knows you could find what you’re looking for outside of your comfort zone. It’s not 100%, but you’re ready to take that risk. “Imagine you marry an ex...”

Taehyung is not helping soothe you. The thought has crossed your mind before.

“Don’t scare me,” you brush off the thought with a hand on your chest, and they both can’t help but laugh. It would be so funny if you walked down the aisle and it was one of your stupid exes. Gosh... you’d walk out immediately, no question. “Don't think they would be serious enough for marriage.” They’re all probably out there still being reckless and whatever.

“What if he doesn’t like something that you like?”

“Don’t know" you chuckle "But I’d be damned if he doesn’t want to listen to my playlists.”

“Ouu, he’d be a gone man if he didn’t like your mugs too.” You know Jisoo’s being sarcastic; for some reason, everyone dislikes your mugs. The designs specifically. But you like them, so he would be damned if he didn’t like them.

“I mean, we have 3 months until we decide whether we want to be together or not....”

“Would you want to get divorced?”

You don’t even want to think of that. Divorce is not something you think about or want to think about. You know how much you hate it and how it affects children. You don’t have kids with the man, but still, you just hate divorce. It feels too much like failure.

“I hope not, but if he’s completely unreasonable, then I’ll have no choice.” You wouldn’t want to fight for something that bears no fruit. But you pray that’s not going to be the case. It shouldn't be too bad.

“I just want to like him, and I hope he likes me too. I would want this to work out.” You stare blankly at your hands. “I don’t know if I’d be able to look for love again after this.”

You’re being to dramatic but that’s because this feels like all you have.

“In that case, let’s pray he’s the one.”

You all go quiet for a second. The pot on the stove starts to bubble.

“This is real,” you murmur.

And somehow, that thought is both terrifying—and thrilling.

--

“Namjoon, what do you think?” He’s the only one who’s been quiet about what just came out of jungkook’s mouth.

It’s not the idea of Jungkook getting married to a stranger that’s concerning (Though that’s its own thing.) It’s more about the idea of Jungkook getting married in general.

“I mean—do what makes you happy. It’s not the conventional way...” Namjoon begins, and Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes at how serious his friend is being. He’s not surprised, though; Namjoon has always been the more serious and mature one between the two. Unlike Jungkook, Namjoon has always known what to do and when to do it. He is the kind of guy with structure, but Jungkook, on the other hand, is more of the go-with-the-flow kind of person.

He does things on a whim, reckless with who he goes out with. Relationships have always been fun for him; he never took them seriously. That was until he sat with himself and looked around. All of his friends were settling down and were not available to go out. One was having a child, the other was getting married, and standing at the altar as a groomsman so often, had him worried about what he was doing.

He watched his friends fall in love and be so happy; he wanted that too. Could he have it too? The bro lifestyle he was living was not going to give him that.

He hid behind hookups so much that he hadn’t realized he did want to settle down, find a nice woman, and live that picture-perfect life, he saw his parents have.

And it was time for that. So, by chance and through his coworker, he stumbled upon this program and signed up.

He wasn't going to get picked, so it wouldn’t be so bad if he did try.

He never had much hope in it; like, how would some experts know from a form who to pair him up with? It was a scam to him. His plan was to go out and meet ladies the usual way, but even they didn’t see him so seriously; he was just a hookup to them too. It did hurt him. But honestly, they weren’t wife material anyway.

Jungkook has always liked doing stuff that people would call crazy; it made him happy. So being told that a match was found and he was going to get married to a stranger didn’t make him nervous at all—if you exclude the seriousness of marriage though.

“Come on, hyung...”

“I wouldn’t put this past you, so I’m not surprised. I’m just worried if you’re ready for this. I don’t think you realize how serious it is.”

It’s not shocking that Namjoon stares at Jungkook with such distrust; he himself doesn’t trust himself fully. But he wants to. Because how can a wife trust him if he doesn’t?

 Nothing will convince him or others that he is serious and growing, other than through actions. And that’s what he intends to do. Namjoon may not trust him now, but when he sees how serious he is, he will.

“I’ve grown, hyung, don’t you think?” Jungkook sips his beer, staring at his friend. Having this conversation at a bar may not have been the best, but it was the perfect moment to do so. Though jungkook has never cared about perfect timing.

Namjoon lets out a puff of air. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s not supportive. “You have, but this is a serious commitment, Kook.”

He doesn’t need to be told once more how serious this is; his brain can do that just fine.

 “I know. But I’ve reached that point where I want to settle down. I’m ready to get serious.” It’s definitely something he never thought he would say. “I want to show that I can be serious, you know? I want to be like you, Seokjin.”

He pats the man on his shoulder, and he can’t help but feel honored to be an inspiration. Seokjin was one of the first to get married and is now expecting a child. Jungkook envies that—the ability to feel stable enough to bring in another life. He wants to be stable too. Have a little mini him to play around with.

Who the hell has he become.

“I think it’s good you want to settle down, Koo. I just hope you’re doing this for the right reasons and not just to prove yourself,” the oldest begins. Seokjin doesn’t think he’s some wise man, but he can confidently say he has the most knowledge on this among all of them. He does support his friend and thinks it’s great he’s doing this, but something in him fears he’s in it for the wrong reasons. “I mean, it won’t only be you. You’re merging your life with someone else—someone you don’t know to add. I wouldn’t want you to drag her feelings into a journey of trying to prove yourself.”

He doesn’t respond right away. Because the truth is, part of him doesn’t know truly why he’s doing this. And not knowing is something he hates nowadays.

This is where Jungkook’s second thoughts root even further. He fears that—fears dragging someone along into his flawed perception of self. But it’s not what this is about, and even though he doesn’t mention it, he does want to find someone to love and someone to give the love he hasn’t been able to give his past lovers.

“I get what you’re saying, hyung, and I promise that’s not the case. I do want to care for the person too.”

Seokjin nods, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s good. You are growing,” he mocks, and they all laugh.

“The not knowing what’s ahead is a little off putting, I’ll be honest.” Jungkook doesn’t stare at his friends but rather analyses every bubble of air in his drink that rises to the surface. They rise fast, then disappear. Like everything he used to think love was.

“Do you think you can do it?”

“I think I can... I want to.” He finally looks up to stare at nothing in particular.

“The first step is the commitment, so if you have that, then you’re good.” Jungkook nods; he should probably be taking notes on what Seokjin is saying. “Oh, Namjoon, you’re going to be the only single one.” They all laugh, but Namjoon only chuckles.

“It’s scary how you’re still single.” His friends see him as the perfection of what a woman wants: tall, smart, a man who knows what he wants. It’s all what women describe, but still, the tall silver-haired man has never taken dating seriously, nor does he hook up. It’s concerning.

“It’s because I want to,” he replies, taking a drink of his beer. And that’s all they’ll ever get from him.

“So what are you looking for, Koo?”

They shouldn’t even get him started on this. He’s never really known because he’s never really thought about it. But of late, the answers have been coming in like ants—tiny but a lot. “Um, just someone outgoing, you know... likes to have fun.” He won’t burden them with all he’s been thinking because some are just stupid stereotypes. “Someone who likes to go out and try new things, likes to have fun.”

“Jungkook? a party girl?.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes; maybe his previous preferences slip into his ideas of who he wants, which is not good. He wants something new, something he’s never had. Because what he’s had is not what he needs. So maybe this will be different.

“No... listen. I like going bowling and stuff like that, you know? So I hope she would want to do that with me.” He smiles, trying to defend himself. “When I get married, I’ll quit the club too.” The additional sentence causes a roar of laughter among his friends, drawing attention from other bar-goers. Seokjin does go out occasionally, but the difference (especially with his wife’s due date approaching) has been significant.

The laughter dies down.

“Look at him acting like he’s grown.”

“I am grown... I’m going to be a husband.” It’s surreal for him to say.

“She needs to be strong to handle you.”

“I’m not that bad..”

--

The most exciting thing about this whole thing is finding your dress. You’ve been looking at dresses for a long time so you would like to say you know what style you’re looking for, you’ve been thinking of this since you were in middle school so you should know. You’re grateful your taste has grown out of the poofy ballgown phase.

Cause of the context of the wedding you want something simple. Clean. Intentional.

 And Jisoo knew of the perfect store to go to.

Most women find their dress months in advance, but you’ve got a week. A week. So this has to be it. Today  should be the day.

Picking out the dress is the only part of this whole process that feels like you have control over, so you’re throwing yourself into it. And with that comes nitpicking. A lot of it.

You step out of the dressing room in your fourth gown and face the mirror. It’s a beautiful dress. You loved it on the rack. But now, wearing it, something’s... off.

“Why don’t i feel something?” you ask, running your hands down the dress draping your figure. You turn to your friends, looking for validation. “I’m supposed to feel it, right? Isn’t that a thing?” you aren’t sure if it was a myth, but you’ve heard that when you find the right one you’ll be able to feel it.

“You should.” Jisoo says gently, sitting up straighter at the sight of your face. She knows how sensitive this moment is for you. The time pressure, the stress, if you spiral now, it’s over. “What don’t you like about it?”

You stare at the mirror. Tilt your head. Bite your lip. Try to search for an answer.

“i don’t know i just dont feel like a bride in it.” You continue to feel over it trying to convince yourself but still nothing.

Maybe its cause you have no romantic connection with this man and hence you don’t feel like the conventional bride who can actually feel like she’s dress shopping with a purpose.

“Then we try another,” the stylist says with an encouraging smile.

You hope you don’t sound like a bridezilla because this is the fourth dress you’ve tried on and don’t like. Your stomach churns.

What if you don’t find one? What if you end up walking down the aisle in something you hate cause you weren’t able to find ‘the one’ in time. You can’t wear something that doesn’t feel like you. You’re not a person very particular about clothes but this is your wedding dress in question. It has to be perfect.

“Hey...” Jisoo comes to your side, her hand warm on your arm. You feel your shoulders drop just a little. “Don’t pressure yourself. We can come back tomorrow.”

You nod, but the thought makes your chest tighten. You don’t want to come back. You want to feel it now.

“Can I try a few more first? Just in case?”

“Of course,” she says, like she never had a doubt.

You head back into the dressing room. One more. Just one more.

Walking back into the dressing room and getting into another dress. You’re praying this will be the one or good enough at least.

“Fucking hell yn...” Taehyung whistles.

That’s new. He didn’t react like this for the others.

“You look so gorgeous babes.” Jisoo adds with a blushing smile as you walk onto the pedestal to finally see what they see.

The dress in terms of material feels great. It’s soft on your skin and it pours down your body like liquid. Without even looking at it you’d say you feel comfortable.

Once you take in your figure in the mirror, you can fel the tears sting the corner of your eyes. You definatlety feel it. You feel that feeling.

With the other dresses it felt like they were wearing you, but for this one, you’re definitely the one owning it.

“Gosh.. it’s almost too perfect to be marrying a stranger in.” You state still enamoured and not believing that the reflection is you.

“if this dude doesn’t cry or fall to his knees when he sees you i’ll beat his kneecaps in.” Taehyung expresses and when you look at him through the mirror you catch him tabbing a tissue at his eyes, jisoo too. Gosh now your tears are falling too.

“Come on guys.” You try to say through  a sniffle. “you’re making me cry.”

Sniffling and patting at your eyes with a tissue you try to collect yourself.

“on a serious note. You look gorgeous.” Taehyung says, folding the tissue in to his palm. “you look beautiful. I should’ve married you instead. This guy doesn’t deserve you.”

You choke out a laugh, knowing he’s joking. You and Tae never looked at each other like that.

“If we were getting married, I’d wear sweats. Jeans if I’m feeling fancy.”

“Ouch,” he gasps, clutching his chest. Jisoo snorts. “Is that all I am to you.” He’s way more than that. He’s everything you'd ever want to dream of in a friend.

“i hope this dude realises how much he’s won with you.” Jisoo says softly.

“If he has two eyes, he will otherwise we’ll fight.” Of course it’s tae saying that.

“Why do you hate him you barely know him.” you say causing the man to pull back in defence.

“I’m just setting boundaries.”

He’s always been protective. You can’t blame him.

“But how do you feel?” Jisoo asks.

You take a breath. Let the silence hold for a second. You take in the weight of the dress, the way it fits, the way it makes you feel like maybe this whole thing won’t be so terrible after all.

“i love it.” It comes out soft but it says all that’s needed to be said. “i think it’s the one.”

Cheers erupts in the room the room, and your heart feels light for the first time in days.

You laugh through your tears. “I’m gonna be a Mrs. Something.”

“I just hope he’s got a good last name, at least.” Taehyung grins.

You hope so too.

But that’s one of the many things you’re choosing not to think about. Not yet.

--

Jungkook has never woken up early for anything. And the last thing he ever thought he’d be waking up early for was his wedding.

“You ready for today?” Seokjin says bascally aready dressed while Jungkook walks around in his sweats.

“As ready as i can ever be.” His eyes don’t leave the suit hanging on the wall. Gosh how would he have found one if he didn’t have his friends.

“You sure? You’re too calm.”

“Not everyone’s gonna be in panic.” Namjoon chimes in.

Seokjin’s wedding morning was definitely chaotic cause of how the man panicked.

 Though at the time he never thought of it seriously, Jungkook worried that it was custom to panic like that and he’d panic too. But even still he feels too relaxed, last night’s drinks might have something to do with it. When Seokjin and namjoon had gone to sleep, and jungkook couldn’t, he's only solace was the liquor cabinet. He hopes it’s not obvious. Cause he can fool his friends but his mother might be able to catch it, no matter how hard he’s brushed his teeth.

“it’s good to atleast show some of your nerves.” Seokjin moves to the counter to pour some drinks. Jungkook gags at the smell of spirit. “You can’t be perfectly relaxed.”

Can’t he? It is possibe for him to not be worried about anything. He doesn’t have to be having doubts and fears for this to be real. He doesn’t.

“I’m fine.” He groans, rubbing his face and reaching  for the suit hanging on the door of his room. He's fine...so fine.

Seokjin doesn’t dig in deeper. And one thing the older does know is that no matter what, Jungkook must be feeling something and his silence about it might be proving what Seokjin thought. Thinks.

“Did you send the gift?” he turns to namjoon worried about one thing.

“Yeah.”

Jungkook wanted to make a good impression so he hopes the gift does some apologising if you’re able to notice he's fucked up face.

“Can you help me with my tie?” He knows how to do it. Has been doing it for school for so long. But for once he just wants to feel like she’s involved in something he's doing. Something positive.

The drooping look on her face is discouraging enough, but he tries.

“You’ve been doing it for so long. Do you really need my help?” She says not even looking at him, and yet again he feels the embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, he turns to do it himself but his dad replaces his hands. “I told you guys, you didn’t have to travel for this.” He says lifting his chin up a little for his dad.

He was fine with them not coming, and seeing that they lived so far away it would’ve been an inconvenience. And it’s not like its a wedding his mother would want to attend anyways; so he didn’t  want to waste their time.

He was perfectly fine with them not coming.

“it’s your wedding why wouldn’t we come?” His father says patting down the tie and arranging his collar. It's almost as if it’s his first day at school and his graduation again. He hopes he can do this for his son one day too.

In a whisper away from anyone else his father speaks. "I want you to enjoy today. And whoever she is I want you to give her your all. Love her more than you love yourself, more than you’ve ever loved anything.”

His eyes are sincere as the words are spoken. His father isn’t emotional so even that soft fall of his brows is a lot. And it’s all Jungkook can ask for. “She's gonna love you too, I know it. You’re a good kid.” He pats his shoulder.

He can cry...no. So he sniffles the waters away.

His father has always been a good husband. And that’s who he wants to be as well, no matter who he marries, no matter how difficult she could be.

His parents have been the ideal couple in his life for a long time. And that doesn’t change no matter what.

Everything is silent for a moment as jungkook sinks into what’s about to happen today. It’s only until a voice breaks his serenity.

“Namjoon!” his mother calls out playfully with a glass in her hands, she doesn’t even drink.

Namioon flinches and turns to her smiling awkwardly.  He's never known how to act around her. “When are you getting married? Sure there are so many woman dying to be hitched up to a perfect guy like you.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and tells namjoon he doesn’t have to answer.

But his mother won’t let that be.

“Not anytime soon Mrs jeon.”

The laugh she releases is sharp and demeaning. But it’s not directed to namjoon. “You see? People who wait to find a girl the right way.”

When Jungkook’s gaze meets hers, he has to remind himself she's the woman that birthed him.

“You didn’t have to come you know that?”

“Come on. You want me here, I’m your mother.”

Contrary to popular belief...

“You’re such a handsome boy, why do you want to get married. You’re wasting your time.” She starts.

She should be praising him for seeing the value in getting married and maturing to the idea. But no...

Jungkook puffs out a breath. The room has been silent since his mother began speaking. And he drowns in it. There's a lot he could say.

Instead, he throws the jacket on and teases at it a little in the mirror. Some are unnecessary touches but he does them anyways. Feeling ready enough he steps away but before he walks out further he looks at the woman sat on the couch.

“If you can..,try your best not to speak to her, okay?”

--

“Did they call?” Taehyung’s voice is almost none existent in your field of thoughts.

It’s only when he repeats that you catch what he said. "no.”  You say no energy in your voice. “but it’s fine...their loss.”

You toss your phone on the couch a little too harshly, just wanting to forget it. Forget everything.

You won’t and can’t beg for people who don’t want to be in your life. Informing them was just a courtesy, you didn’t want him here anyways.

Though it would’ve been great if they could just put their pride aside for you for once.

Taehyung wraps his arms around you. “Their loss. Just know you’ve got us.” He nudges at your temple with his nose.

“Yeah, you’ve got people who care and that’s all that matters.” Jisoo hugs you too and now you’re sandwiched between them. It reminds you that no matter what, you still have people around you who do care and want to support you. So if those people who you thought would want to see succeed didn’t want to be here then it’s not on you. You have your friends.

“let’s finish getting ready guys.” They brush them away playfully and immediately your hairstylist is quick to working on you.

 “So bossy.” You roll your eyes at the remark. “Gonna give this guy a run for his money.”

It doesn’t matter. You cheer to yourself.

Nothing else matters today, you’re getting married and you don’t need to cloud your thoughts with negativity. You wouldn’t want your husband to see you all gloomy. That’s not gonna to be your first impression.

You smile.

All you want to do right now is walk down that aisle. Nothing else matters.

“Did i mention a little something came in for you in the mail” jisoo’s voice comes in excited but you aren’t able to turn cause you’re on your final steps of getting your makeup done.

“huh?” when she stands in front of your eyes fall in the object in her grasp. “What’s that?” you eaxclaim with a smile taking the box onto your lap.

“Open it.” She exclaims, more excited than you.

The tiffany and co logo on the box is evident when you unwrap it. You can’t help but smile from ear to ear. You haven’t met him yet and he’s making you smile this hard? Once it’s open you’re met with a silver locket and bracelet. You’ve gotten gifts before but you have no clue why you’re blushing so hard for this one.

“oh my gosh these are so cute.”

“tiffany and co too...” Jisoo adds, immediately rushing for you to put it on cause it would look good with your dress.

Taehyung watches from across the room, already dressed. “Anybody can buy that.”

“hater...” you and Jisoo choir.

--

Seokjin made it clear for him to behave when he sees your family. He has no clue what he thought he would do, because as much as he’s outgoing, In front of the in-law's he’s a dove.

He’s trying to be calm and act like he’s ready and been ready, but he can’t deny the cold sweats that threaten to run and mess his suit. This is the most trust he’s put into anything. All he’s praying is that it works out.

He’s a fucking groom.

Jisoo sits watching him closely, he is handsome and somebody you would find handsome too. But something she knows you’ll be worried about is probably his personality. He looks like the opposite of what you want and all you’ve been running away from. But who knows with you nowadays. He could be a good guy though.

“Hello.” Jungkook waves to your side. From all he can see, there’s a woman probably same age as him, could be a sister? Friend? Next he sees is an older lady probably the same age as his mother. That could be your mother. The rest of the crowd is filled with 2 people.

Not many people, but t doesn't matter. He wouldn't invite anybody too, if he didn’t have to. Maybe you're too embarrassed to be marrying already.

He's eyes can't stay on one spot. He tries but it's painful.

When he turns to his side, Seokjin and namjoon smile at him, it helps ease whatever he’s feeling but immediately his heart tightens up watching the person sat next to his father whisper into his ear..

What the hell is she saying? Is he standing up straight? Is he smiling enough or too hard.

--

This is the craziest thing you've ever done. The bravest too.

And—God, you hope—it’s the last wild thing you’ll have to do for a while.

Breathing is something your body usually handles without question, but now it needs supervision. You have to consciously pull air into your lungs, or you won’t make it down this aisle walking.

You have no idea what’s waiting at the end of it.

What if you’re not attracted to him?

Worse—what if he’s not attracted to you?

What if you’re not what he’s been hoping for?

“This still feels like a dream,” you mumble, looping your arm around Taehyung’s. He smells like cologne and nerves. What the fuck is he nervous for.

“You ready?” he asks gently.

No, but you nod. “Yeah.”

The gentle music of a live plays as people  stand and you walk, still not in view yet cause if the infrastructure. Its a small venue but sill manages to make you feel like you’re drowning.

As you walk and get closer you try your hardest not to look at the one thing you’re most curious about.

So your eyes choose to scan the venue instead—the warm fairy lights, the soft music, the flowers. You knew the production team would go all-out, but you didn’t expect them to go all out for you. It’s perfect.

You’ve never felt this special in your life. Twelve-year-old you couldn’t have imagined this moment. Even though this isn’t the love story you thought you’d get, the feeling is still here, blooming in your chest.

Who says he can’t become the love of your life?

Jungkook's eyes are wide when they land on your.

From your soft smile to styled hair amd the the dress that falls down your body carefully, he watches every detail. He can’t look anywhere else. He swears his heart was just in his chest a moment ago.

Jungkook watches the person walking you down the aisle, he’s a younger guy. That’s interesting. A sibling?

From all that he’s imagined he could get, you were not on the card. But he'll take it.

You’re more than he bargained for.

You walk slowly, soaking it all in. Nearing the arch, you finally allow yourself to look at the man chosen for you.

And—shit.

He’s… handsome.

You eyes squint.

He smiles as you approach, so at least he doesn’t seem horrified. That’s something.

Taehyung shares a nod with the man, nothing warm or cold behind. You hug him before he walks to his seat, clinging for just a second too long. Then, it's just you and him—your groom. You can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. And it’s embarrassing.

You’ve been on debate teams, presented in University projects and in meetings at work. Basically you’ve had eyes on you before and it was manageable...but these? They burn.

“Hi,” you say, voice small.

 You glance toward his side. A good amount of family. One person stands out—tall, silver hair. Probably a groomsman.

Your groom is attractive, sure, but not your type. Tattoos?, the way he stands—he looks like someone you tried to avoid.

You hate how superficial that sounds. But the thought won’t leave.

At least he’s taller than you.

“Hi,” he replies, equally nervous. Then leans in. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look nice too.” You eye him down, eyes narrowed.

If this were a blind date, you’d already be knee-deep in awkward small talk. But this? This is… bigger. It requires bigger questions.

“Let me take that for you.” Jisoo’s whisper interrupts. She takes your bouquet and you almost refuse, needing something to keep your fingers occupied.

“I see you got the jewellery.” His voice is as light as the pale blue sky. It’s odd to compare it to a colour but that how it feels. His voice reminds you of the blue sky you’ve stood under so many times wondering if your soulmate died. There’s still a possibility of that.

You glance down. You’d worn it and forgotten. It had become that comfortable. That familiar. But now with the recognition, you can feel the cold silver touch every part of you. You can feel it sway and graze you every turn you make. Even the smallest action causes movement.

“Oh yeah. Thank you.”

“You’ll have to thank my groomsman too. He helped me pick it.”

He looks over at Namjoon, who immediately looks like he wants to disappear.

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It might sound like he couldn’t handle it alone. But truthfully, Namjoon just knows more about…well, this kind of thing.

“Thank you, groomsman,” you direct a more warm smile to the man.

Namjoon mumbles something, but you don’t catch it.

Turning back, you stare a beat longer when your eyes catch he's features. You bite the inside of your cheek. His face—it’s not common. Not forgettable.

And yet…

The officiant steps forward. Time for the official part.

“Yn, meet for the very first time, Jungkook Jeon. Jungkook, meet for the very first time, Yn Y/l/n.”

His name hits you like a church bell.

“Jungkook?” you repeat sounding a little shocked, like you didn’t hear it right the first time.

He chuckles nervously. “That’s me.” Do you not like his name?

Your stomach drops.

You know him. The name. The face. It clicks.

Your nose works over time pulling in air. You can't open your mouth, cause you might just puke.

Shit—does he know you? He doesn’t seem like he does.

Is this real?

The man you remember wouldn’t be standing here right now. Does she have some polar opposite twin or something?

You rub your arms and wish you could blame the AC for the chill. But that's all on him.

Glancing at your friends. They have no clue what’s happening inside your head right now. They don't know how fast the room spins.

Where do you put your hands, what do you hold onto?

None of them know about him. He’s the only one you've never told them about. And they sit there waiting for you--with smiles and excitement--to marry him.

You made them come here. They smile for you. They support you.

You asked them to be here for you. You wanted to do this.

What a waste of time. You should’ve known.

To add-on, as you look at your friends for a second time you stop at a face you were not expecting and hadn't noticed. How did you miss that? A face that had told you she didn’t want to be here, well not her specifically but mainly on behalf of your father. But what the hell is your mother doing here? She said she couldn’t come.

What the fuck is going on. Collect yourself,  you don’t want to look like you’re about to faint. Even though the overwhelming review of information could just kill you right here.

But it’s okay. You still have time to walk away. Walk away from everyone.

You thought this was going to go well.

You hoped it would.

But now?

This is not what you wanted.

-

-

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/n: 😏😏 what did you think? I hope you liked it. Please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story progression. I will try my best to post frequently (I've been working on 2 as well) so just hood your horses.

anyways I hope you enjoyed.

same time next week?

Lets discuss in the replies 🖐😊

taglist: @lovingkoalaface @granataepfelchen @jksusawife @notsevenwithyou @llallaaa @kmpj9 @lryf @smileyshaven @dragonflygurl4

note: to join taglist just inbox.

every note, reply and reblog is appreciated.

let me know what you thought of this chapter. do you think she'll marry him?

[xlostinthedreamfics]

In a Good Way: Chapter 1 (Yunho Fic)

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Female Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Playlist: In a Good Way - Faye Webster

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, cursing, mentions of alcohol (This story does not reflect who the members are in any way.)

Summary: Nice guys are not your type, too angelic, too holy, too boring until one of these nice guys gets under your skin. What you have been wanting has been in front of you this whole time, and if you don’t act quick, it might just miss you.

Note: I originally was going to make this a one-shot, but I think this needs 2 chapters! I hope you enjoy this; it's one of my favorites so far 🤭

You scrolled aimlessly through your texts, just waiting for his notification. You groaned loudly, throwing your head back against your best friend’s couch. “What is it?” You felt the spot next to you dip, seeing a concerned Yeosang next to you, followed by a curious San on the other side. “It’s nothing, Hwa just hasn't texted me.” Groans from both sides of you erupted, “Y/N, we told you to leave him.” Yeosang sighed, his fingers massaging his temples. “You know you don’t deserve to be treated like that.” San shook his head, slapping his hand against your thigh. “Food is on the way, a nice hot meal will make you feel better! Yunho should be coming soon.” Your head snapped over to San, “Yunho? I thought it was just going to be us three.” Yeosang nudged you softly, “Be nice, Yunho is a cool guy.” You sighed, your head falling back against the couch again, “I’m sure he is.”

You had no issue with Yunho, quite the contrary, Yunho was among the nicest people you’ve met. Sure, you didn’t know him well; he was Yeosang’s friend, not yours. But the times you have spoken to Yunho, it felt like you couldn’t be your sarcastic, unhinged, natural self. He was too nice, too good for your crude jokes. “Wait!” San got up from the couch, pointing at Yeosang, then at you. “Yunho! He’d be perfect for you.” Yeosang looked over at you as he covered his mouth, “San is on to something.” You pulled yourself up from the couch, walking over to the bathroom, “Not going to happen.” You closed the door behind you, your phone clutched up to your chest. Maybe I should just call him. 

Seonghwa, the guy you have been infatuated with for the past six months. You met him at the coffee shop by your apartment. He was the new barista behind the counter. You couldn’t help to make frequent coffee runs, having conversations with him while you picked up your caramel latte every morning. He beat you to it by finally asking for your number, texting you to hang out that same night. Let’s just say you both got acquainted really well that night, and you considered visiting your coffee shop twice a day. Seonghwa loved to hear all the crazy adventures you got up to with your friends, your recent trinket obsession, songs that reminded you of him, and he wanted to hear anything you had to say, minus conversations about defining the relationship between you two. He always followed with, “I’m just not ready right now,” or “I want to be the best version of myself for you.” San and Yeosang said they knew guys like him, aka a total fuck boy as San likes to announce everytime you vent about him. He wasn’t bad, most of the time. Sure, he made promises that he couldn’t keep and would ignore your texts or calls at times, but when you did see each other, it just felt right. And maybe you weren’t the relationship type? Maybe something casual like this was okay, too.

Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hwa-” The voicemail message played, making you hang up before the beep. It’s fair to say your last relationships or situationships were not the best either. You never had anything amazing to compare them to. Was there even such a thing as true love, loyalty, or genuine interest? Yeosang said it could be your taste in men, but you just liked what you liked, and it just ended up being men with commitment issues, but great in bed. You stormed out of the bathroom, bumping into a tall figure just outside the door. You glanced up to see a smiling Yunho looking down at you, “Hey, Y/N.” You half-smiled, walking around him, “Hey Yunho.” You made your way back over to the couch, slumping down next to Yeosang. “Pizza will make you feel better.” Yeosang handed over his plate to you, a delicious and hot pepperoni slice just waiting to make you happy. “Thanks.” You held onto the paper plate, watching as the rest of the guys grabbed their food before turning on the movie. This was a regular thing for you, Yeosang and San: movie nights. It was San’s turn to pick the movie, and just your luck, it was a romance drama. “San, am I going to cry?” San hushed you, nuzzling into the armchair next to you, his eyes focused on the TV. You glanced over at Yunho, sitting so proper on the other chair, neatly eating his pizza. You rolled your eyes, glancing down at your phone, still no text back from Hwa. 

The movie ended, and San was holding onto the throw pillow, wiping his tears as the end credits appeared. You’d be lying if you said you paid attention the whole way through; most of the time was spent checking your phone. “Why would they not end it on a happy note? Why did you show us this?” Yeosang sighed, chucking a pillow at San. Yunho laughed, “I kind of like when that happens, sometimes happy endings don’t always happen, just like real life.” You wanted your happy ending with Hwa, was that too much to ask for? Your phone began to vibrate suddenly, Seonghwa’s name lighting up on the screen. “Oh, guys, I gotta go. See you later!” You snatched your purse, running out the door of Yeosang’s apartment, straight to the elevators. 

“Seonghwa, hey.” You reached the lobby, walking out towards the exit. “Hey, sorry I didn’t text back. I was hanging with some friends, but maybe we can see each other later tonight?” You headed toward the train station, zipping up your jacket as the chilly night air hit you. “Sure, yeah, just let me know what time.” 

—--------

You waited up for Seonghwa until 2 am and knocked out, realizing that he wasn’t going to come over like he said. You peeked over at your phone, no notifications, just one from the group chat with San and Yeosang.

San: Get home safe!

Yeosang: Are you home now?

You squinted your eyes, the beaming rays of the sun filling your room. You rolled over on your stomach, texting the group chat back. 

You: Sorry, guys, I came home and fell asleep. I’m alive and well. 

You dropped your head back onto your pillow, happy that it was Saturday, but the heavy feeling in your chest was not leaving. You wondered why you let yourself be toyed with so much, you didn’t want to believe that Hwa was a fuck boy. When you’re together, it truly feels like there’s no one around but you and him. You can be yourself with him, talk about the most random shit, laugh until your stomach hurts and ride his face until you can’t feel your legs. It was perfect, but the multiple efforts of asking him what he thought about you both and what he wanted just left you feeling more empty and disappointed. He would say how much he wanted you and cared for you, then would ignore you for days, just to call you in the early hours of the morning to come over and rail you to sleep. It felt like a cycle of your highest highs and your lowest lows. You knew he would be working at the coffee shop today, and you needed a latte. You got dressed, heading out the doors, just a few blocks away from your favorite coffee shop. The shop had a live DJ on Saturdays, so it was busier than on other days. You headed toward the counter, not spotting Seonghwa anywhere around. “Morning! What can I get started for you?” The worker greeted you at the counter, “Just a medium caramel latte, please.” You glanced around the shop, focusing back on the worker to pay. Maybe he wasn’t working today; you made your way to the pickup area, waiting for your drink.

“Y/N?” You looked over to see Yunho, a baseball cap resting on his head, a very casual boyfriend aesthetic he had going on today, not a strand of hair out of place, not one wrinkle on his clothes. You waved at him, pursing your lips as he walked over, “You come here?” He nodded, “I do, usually on the weekends when I have time. I live right around the corner. What’s your go-to drink here?” You continued to scan the room behind Yunho, “Caramel Latte, you?” Maybe he was starting late today? “Latte for Y/N!” You jumped a bit, walking over to the counter to grab your drink. You glanced up, taking a long sip, your eyes catching a familiar face. There he is. You were about to make your way to Hwa but stopped when you noticed him hovering over some other girl, playing with her hands, making her laugh obnoxiously loud. “What the fuck?” You said out loud, causing Yunho to turn his attention toward you. 

You threw your sunglasses over your eyes, storming out of the coffee shop. The worst part of this all was that you knew Seonghwa would deny it. “Y/N!” Yunho followed after you, his pace picking up faster to catch up. “Are you okay?” You waved him off, “I don’t need saving, Yunho, I’m fine.” Yunho chuckled nervously, “I’m not trying to save you, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” You stopped at an intersection, waiting for the pedestrian signal to mark, to walk. “I’m fine, Yunho, don’t worry about me and my mess. Go back to your perfect morning.” You sighed as you made your way across the street, leaving a confused Yunho behind.

—--------

As soon as you got home, you slammed your coffee cup on the counter, abandoning it for the rest of the day. You got back into your bed, wrapping yourself in your bedding. You were tired of feeling like this, so fucking over it. Your phone vibrated, Yeosang. You ignored it, rolling over to the other side, shutting your eyes as if you could force yourself to fall asleep right now. The phone stopped vibrating, and a few messages followed. You reached for your phone, opening up your notifications. 

Yeosang: Y/N?

Yeosang: Yunho told me you ran out of the coffee shop?

Yeosang: Did something happen with that Seonghwa guy?

Yeosang: Do me and San have to beat his ass?

You laughed at the image of them storming into the coffee shop to kick Seonghwa’s ass, the chuckles making the heaviness in your chest feel a little lighter. You knew if you didn’t respond to Yeosang, he would send San to your door since he was only a few buildings down from you. 

You: Yeah, I’m okay. I’m going to end things with him. 

You sent that last part without even thinking, like your subconscious wanted you to admit it, admit that he wasn’t good for you. You swiped over to Seonghwa’s message chat.

You: Come over today? I want to talk to you about something.

He responded quickly this time.

Hwa: Yeah, I’ll come over after my shift. 

You read this message over and over, contemplating what you were going to say once he was in front of you. You paced your room, practicing, “I think it’s best if we just stop, whatever this is.” You stared at yourself in the mirror, nodding in approval. “Yeah, just straight to the point.” You sat at the edge of your bed, you’ve been doing this for the last few hours, and you finally made yourself hungry. You reached into the cupboard for some popcorn, a quick snack while you looked over the food delivery app to get some type of noodle dish. Your phone buzzed, a text from Hwa.

Hwa: On my way!

You rushed to fix your bed, pick up around your apartment, and get into more comfortable clothes than the jeans you were still in from earlier. After you placed your food order, Seonghwa knocked at your door. “Coming!” You shouted out excitedly, forgetting that you were about to end things with him. Your heart fell to your ass as the realizination hit you. You opened the door to a smiling Seonghwa who immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing the side of your neck and then your lips, “I missed you.” He spoke against your lips, slipping his hands under your shirt, “Seonghwa, I wanted to talk to you.” He pulled away slowly, sitting on your couch before pulling you onto his lap, “What’s up?”

“I went by the coffee shop today.” His eyes gleamed up at you as he ran his hand up and down your thigh, squeezing it playfully, “You did? You should’ve told me. I would have paid for your coffee.” You placed your hand over his to stop him from playing with your thigh, and he frowned, “Is everything okay?” You sighed, pulling yourself up from him, “I saw you with that girl Seonghwa.” You looked at him with defeat in your eyes, no energy to scream, shout, or plead for his apology like you used to do. “Babe, that’s just my new coworker. It’s not a big deal.” He patted his lap for you to sit back down, “You believe me, right?” You watched him, his big eyes beaming up at you as he pulled you back down on him. He placed a kiss on your lips, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

—--------

You knocked on Yeosang’s door, hearing his footsteps move closer, finally letting you in. “Hey! What are you up-” You looked over at Yunho, who was sitting on the couch, looking up from his phone to face you. “Oh, hey Yunho.” Yeosang shut the door behind you, “We were just chilling, thinking of catching some lunch in a bit if you want to come.” You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jacket, nodding to Yeosang, “Sure, I could go for some food.” You took a seat in the armchair, tapping along the armrest. “So?” Yeosang sat on the couch beside you. “Did you end things?” You noticed Yunho peeking up from his phone, looking at you before returning to his phone again. “The weather app said it was going to be sunny today.” You peered over at the window, trying not to look at Yeosang, who was sighing in disbelief. “Y/N, you said you were going to end things. What happened?” You slumped your shoulders, looking down at your hands, “We talked things through, okay? We’re good now.” 

“It gets to a point, Y/N, where he’s going to expect your forgiveness every time, it won’t even mean anything to him.” Yeosang shook his head.

“Look, Seonghwa gets a bad rep, but he’s a great guy. He cares for me.” 

“He seemed to care about that girl yesterday, too,” Yunho mumbled under his breath, causing you and Yeosang to snap your heads over to him. “What?” Yeosang asked, not knowing the whole situation that had happened at the coffee shop yesterday. “Yunho, I didn’t ask for your opinion. Thanks.” You got up from the couch, pulling your bag over your shoulder, “I forgot I had something to do. I’ll see you later, Yeosang.” You headed out, frantically making your way toward the elevators. Just when you think you’re living happily on your delusional cloud about Seonghwa, someone throws reality in your face again, and this time it was goody two-shoes Yunho. 

Even after you and Seonghwa talked it out, even after he had you bent over your bed, and even after cuddling you to sleep, the hole in your chest grew bigger. There was no chance you believed that he wasn’t flirting with his coworker, but you also believed that he cared for you. Yunho didn’t know shit, he shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. The rest of the day, you stuffed your face with leftovers and rotted away in your bed, ignoring every possible text from Yeosang and San. Why were you deciding to deprive yourself of actual happiness, you didn’t know; you felt stuck in this endless cycle with Seonghwa and with yourself. 

There was a knock on your door, your heart beating quickly as you became startled by the noise. You walked over to the door, looking through the peephole, and saw Yunho waiting patiently for you to answer. “Yunho?” You opened it up, seeing him with a bag in his hand, “Yeosang and San were going to check in on you. But I offered to go since I wanted to apologize. I bear wine and some amazing pho? San told me you can never turn down pho.” He held the brown paper big in front of you, smiling as you snatched it from him. “Come in, I guess.” You scooted over to let him in, shutting the door behind him.

“This could’ve just been a text, you know? But thanks for the pho.” You peeked into the bag, pulling out the wine first, popping it open. “I'd rather do it in person.” Yunho looked around your apartment, “Oh, cool, you play?” He pointed at your guitar in the corner of your living room. “I dabble.” You poured the wine into two cups, handing one to Yunho. He grinned, taking it from you, “Listen, Y/N, I’m sorry about getting involved earlier. I just know how it feels. You deserve a good guy who-” 

You took a sip from your cup before cutting him off, “You don’t know what I deserve. You don’t even know me, Yunho. You can’t come here and think your advice will be some saving grace. Can you just please go?” You downed the wine in your cup, placing it in the sink behind you. 

“I just-” You walked over to the door, opening it for him. “Have a good night, Yunho.” He nodded, placing the cup down on the counter before walking out, “I’m sorry.” You shot him a thumbs up, closing your door in front of his face. “He just thinks he’s so righteous all the time, doesn't he?” You opened up the bottle, drinking it straight from the spout as you plopped down on your couch, eyeing the guitar in the corner, not remembering the last time you felt happy enough to play.

—--------

You avoided going to Yeosang’s for a few days, you had let him know you were a little busy with work and hoped to hang out sometime during the weekend. Anything to avoid a confrontation about your situation with Hwa and to avoid seeing Yunho. Literally, who does he think he is? You shook off the annoyance, reaching for your phone as it vibrated in your pocket. Yeosang.

“Y/N!” Yeosang shouted through the phone, “What are you doing Saturday?” You sat down on your couch, mentally going through the calendar in your head, “Hmm, I don’t think I’m doing anything, why?” You heard San’s giggle in the background, “We’re planning a surprise party for Yunho at my place! You’ll come right?” Yeosang pleaded as you sighed into the phone, “There’s going to be plenty of alcohol!” You heard San yell from the background, causing you to snicker. “Fuck, San knows what I like.” Yeosang chuckled, “Is that a yes?” You paused, biting down on your lip. “Fine, but I’m just going for the booze. Not for Yunho.” Yeosang groaned on the other end of the phone, “This enemies-to-lovers is truly taking too long.” You scoffed at him, “Never. Going. To. Happen. Bye.” You hung up, throwing your phone across the room, landing it on your bed. 

You could never say no to a good party, maybe you could bring Seonghwa this time to finally meet your friends. You’ve asked him before, but something always came up. You got up to fetch your phone again, shooting him a text.

You: Hwa, my friend Yeosang is having a party at his place on Saturday. Come with me?

You smiled at the idea of Seonghwa coming with you, socializing with your friends, drinking together, and having a good time with your favorite people. You waited a few minutes with the chat open, but no response. As the rest of the week passed by, Hwa never answered your question, just went around it to talk about something else. But now it was Saturday, and you weren’t sure if you would have a date for tonight. You called him up, the ringing continuing until he picked up at the last moment. “Hey, babe, I’m a little busy. What’s up?” You scanned through your closet, trying to figure out what to wear. “Hey, did you ever see my text about my friend Yeosang’s party tonight?” You pulled out the black skirt toward the end of the rack, the perfect piece that made you feel sexy. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t reply to that. I don’t think I’ll be able to go, I had made plans with some friends. But I can come over later tonight?” You felt your energy dip as you threw the skirt onto your bed, lying down next to it. “Yeah, that’s fine. Have fun.” Your smile faded, and you clenched your jaw tightly. “You too, babe. I’ll see you later.”

I guess you will be going dateless tonight. You sighed as you hung up the phone, lying with your thoughts for a few minutes. You sat up, looking over at the short skirt next to you, snatching it up in your hands. “Fuck it.” You were going to make sure you had a good time regardless, getting up to get ready for the night. After much struggle in picking shoes, doing your hair, and makeup, you were finally ready to have some drinks and forget about your worries. You headed out the door, zipping your leather jacket to brace for the chilly night, thinking how warm you will feel after some whisky is in your system.

You pulled up to Yeosang’s apartment, texting San to open the door since Yeosang was not answering. “Hey Y/N, you clean up nice,” San joked. “Shut up.” You smirked, nudging him playfully as you walked toward the kitchen. There were a good number of people already here, Yeosang’s EDM playlist blasting through the speakers in the living room. “Yunho should be coming in a few!” Yeosang shouted out to the guests, preparing for the surprise. You rolled your eyes as you made your way to the bottles lined up on the counter, pouring yourself a drink. “Okay, you’re ready to party,” Yeosang smirked at you, wrapping his arm around you, toasting his filled cup with yours. Before he could take a sip, he reached for his phone, “Shit, he’s on his way up.” Yeosang headed toward the rest of the attendees, “Everyone hide, he’s coming up!” 

You stood, leaning against the counter, not budging. San crouched behind the kitchen island, “Y/N, get down.” You glanced down at him, exhaling sharply as he took hold of your hand, pulling you down next to him. Yeosang turned off the music and the lights, waiting by the door until a knock was heard. You could see the excitement on his face as he yanked the door open, “Surprise!” He turned the lights back on, the group of people springing up from their hiding spots, including San. You got up slowly after seeing the biggest smile on Yunho’s face as he covered his face shyly. “What?” He was so surprised as his friends came around him, hugging him one by one. You crossed your arms over your chest, taking another drink from your cup. He has it all, a good head on his shoulders, a great moral compass, amazing friends, truly god’s favorite. 

Yunho made his rounds with each person, finally reaching you in the kitchen, his smile dropping slowly as he approached you, “Y/N, thanks for coming.” You downed your drink, pouring yourself more, “I came for Yeosang, but happy birthday.” You motioned your cup up to cheer his empty hand, walking over to the couch. The drinks continued throughout the night, and before you knew it, your vision was blurry and you were spilling your secrets to some guy you thought was San, but San was on the other side of the room, cackling at you. You patted the guy's arm softly, “Sorry about that.” You covered your mouth to hold in your laugh, walking over to San, pushing him playfully, “Fuck you.” San shook his head as he laughed, “Should we all take a shot?” He looked around for Yeosang and Yunho, dragging everyone to the kitchen as he poured each of you a healthy double shot of tequila. 

“I hate tequila,” Yunho frowned at his shot glass. “It’s your birthday, and all you have been drinking is Sauvignon Blanc,” Yeosang teased, passing you your shot. “Damn Yunho, don’t get too crazy now,” You mocked him, laughing as his eyebrows furrowed, watching him down the shot immediately. You stared in shock, eyeing everyone else as you all took your shots down soon after. “Happy Birthday, Yunho!” San shouted, grabbing onto his shoulders, shaking him excitedly. Yunho laughed, his sour face from the tequila still present. You stayed in the kitchen as Yeosang and San made their way back to the living room, fighting over which song to play next. Yeosang was keen on playing Alan Walker while San wanted to switch it to Charli XCX. You poured yourself another whisky drink, knowing that you shouldn’t drink anymore. Yunho lingered around you, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. 

“Water, Yunho? On your birthday? You’re so lame,” You chuckled, taking a sip from your cup. “I just know my limits," He waved his hands up, opening the water bottle. You glared at him, “Are you saying, I don't?” Yunho laughed, “You’re putting words in my mouth.” You leaned back against the counter. “You think you’re better than everyone?” Yunho took another drink from his bottle, stepping in front of you. “This made-up narrative you have of me? Where does it come from?” Your blurred vision became clearer as you stared up at him, “Is it made up? You’re telling me you’re not some goody two-shoes, church boy, who can never do wrong?” He frowned, watching you intensely as you continued, “You always want to be captain, save a hoe or something, put your two cents in where it’s not needed because you think you know so much.” You expressed mockingly, taking another sip of your drink. 

“I don’t have to explain myself to you if you clearly don’t want anything to do with me.” Yunho leaned his arm against the counter behind you, his face hovering close to yours. You shrugged at him, eyeing his lips as he spoke, his large hands fully engulfing the water bottle in his hand. You felt yourself swallow down the urge to pull him closer, to feel his warmth against you, “Would it kill you to have some fun?” You smirked, passing your semi-full cup towards him. He stared down at the red solo cup, placing his water bottle down on the counter, reaching for your cup. He stared at you as he took a large gulp, his face not even flinching, not like when he took that tequila shot. The residue of the whisky on the top of his lip, you found yourself wiping it away slowly, licking it off your finger. Yunho let out a small exhale as he watched you, gripping the cup in his hand. 

You wrapped your hand behind his neck, pulling him closer until your lips touched. The mix of hate, alcohol, and curiosity between you both. Before your lips could mold into his, he pulled away swiftly, “Y/N.” You looked off to the side as you sighed, pushing him back away from you, “I guess you can’t have fun.” Yunho moved slightly closer, but still giving you your space, “As much as I want to kis-” You waved him off him, his face growing blurry again, “Don’t even worry about it.” You crashed onto the couch, reaching into your bag to pull out your phone. It was about 1 am now, you swiped onto Seonghwa’s chat.

You: Meet me at my place?

Hwa: I’ll be there.

You smiled as you clutched your phone against your chest, stuffing it back in your bag as you pulled the bag over your shoulder. “Yeosang!” You shouted out to him, and he was sitting on the floor playing some drinking game with a few other people. He glanced over, blushed cheeks and a smile on his face, oh, he was drunk. You laughed, “I’m going to head out.” Yeosang frowned, “Already? I’ll have San walk you home.” You shook your head, reaching for your leather jacket, “No, no, it’s okay. Seonghwa is going to meet me at my place. I’ll share my location.” Yeosang nodded, waving you off. You said goodbye to a drunk San who was snuggled up with a bag of chips, singing along to the music. “I can walk you home, Y/N,” He stopped singing, his eyes trying to focus on you. “It’s okay, don’t worry, you keep singing.” You patted his shoulder as you made your way out of the apartment, to the elevator, and out the door. The chilly air hit you immediately, pulling on your jacket as you began to make your way to your place. You stumbled slightly, feeling someone hold you up instantly, balancing you. You whipped your head around, “Yunho?” You pulled your arms away from him quickly, “Don’t touch me.” You dusted yourself off, continuing to walk. You stopped in your tracks immediately, “Yunho, stop following me, you creep!” You glared back at him, stomping forward. “I just want to make sure you get home safe, okay? It’s late.” 

“I am capable of getting home, thank you, but no thank you.” You held onto your shoulder bag, trekking down the sidewalk, trying to focus on not falling over. After a few minutes, you were sure Yunho stopped following you, but as you turned around, he was about half a block behind you, “Yunho, please. Just go back to your party!” Yunho slowly caught up, “I am not going to feel okay if I don’t know you made it home safely.” Yunho insisted, his cheeks turning a pink shade from the chilly air. “I’m like 3 blocks away now, okay? I’ll be home in no time, now go,” You sighed loudly as you continued to hear the steps behind you. You were just a block away from your house, feeling your phone vibrate in your jacket pocket, Seonghwa. You answered quickly, “Hi.” You smiled into the phone, glancing up to see him walking toward you on the opposite side of the sidewalk. “I see you,” He giggled, making his way to you, wrapping you up in an embrace. 

He pulled away, standing in front of you as he stared at Yunho, who was just a few feet behind you, “Who’s that?” He asked, furrowing his eyes at the tall guy in front of him. “That’s Yunho, Yeosang’s friend. He-” Yunho moved toward you slowly, “I’m walking her home, making sure she gets in safely.” He smiled at Seonghwa. “Well, I got it from here now,” Seonghwa wrapped his arm around you. “Do you?” Yunho asked, eyeing you, “Are you going to be okay, Y/N?” You sighed, nodding, “I’m-” Seonghwa chuckled, “Listen, I’m here now. My girl doesn’t need your protection, so you can go.” Seonghwa glared, trying to pull you into your apartment building. “Your girl? I wouldn’t have guessed that.” Yunho snickered, stuffing his cold hands into his jacket pockets. “What the fuck does that mean?” Seonghwa let go of your hand, making his way closer to Yunho. “If she were my girl, I wouldn’t have let her go to a party by herself and walk home by herself, too, but that’s just me,” He shrugged. Seonghwa took hold of the collar of Yunho’s jacket, “Well good thing, nobody fucking cares what you think.” Hwa laughed, shoving him back, “Let’s get inside now, Y/N.” 

You looked back at Yunho as you made your way inside, holding Seonghwa’s hand tightly. As soon as you got into your apartment, Seonghwa led you to the bed, your drunk self lying back, kicking off your boots. Seonghwa sat on the chair in the living room, tapping his fingers on his thigh anxiously. You noticed he wasn’t lying on the bed with you, sitting up, you stared at him from across the room. “Babe?” The frown on his face caused you to sober up ever so slightly. “Everything okay?” You pushed, glancing down at the small rip on your tights. “Is something going on between you and that guy?” He spoke softly, staring down at the floor in front of him instead of you. “What?” You scoffed, replaying the kiss from earlier in your head, gulping down the guilt, “No, he’s Yeosang’s friend. I don’t know him that well.” Seonghwa nodded, exhaling as he finally looked up at you, “Y/N, please be honest with me. The man walked you home, almost wanted to start shit with me. Did something happen between you?” 

The guilt spread on your face, hoping it wasn’t noticeable. “We kissed.” You mumbled under your breath, feeling your eyes water. You peeked up to see Seonghwa still like a statue, not moving, but the clenching of his jaw was obvious. “I was drunk, I still am. I-It didn’t mean anything, Hwa.” He nodded, running his fingers through his hair as he leaned back on the chair, looking up at the ceiling stoically, “I mean, I can’t say anything. It's not like you're my girlfriend.” The words stung deep, like a knife twisted in your chest, twisting and twisting. Your breath quickened, like a switch was turned on in your head. The uneasiness, this guilt, the heavy feeling that you had for the past few months, building in your chest, “Hwa.” You cried out, watching him get up from the chair to finally face you. “I don’t trust easily, Y/N, you know this. It takes so much for me to let anyone in because it somehow always leads to disappointment. Which is why I lingered so much on the thought of us being together. I can’t do this, I’m proven right every time and I’m so fucking tired.” You felt the tears fall instantly, steaming as they ran down your still-cold cheeks.

“Yeah, I fucked up and kissed him. I’m sorry. But what about all the times I caught you flirting with other girls, the messages in your phone that you played off as jokes?” You felt the anger bubble inside of you, “Own up to that, Seonghwa.” He bit down on his lip; you could tell from his eyes that his thoughts were running a mile a second, “I’m done, Y/N.” You jumped up from your bed, seeing him walk toward your door, “Are you serious? You’re going to guilt-trip me and then not even take accountability of your mistakes? You’re a fucking coward Park Seonghwa.” You shouted out, following behind him, shutting the door in his face, “Fuck!” You yelled out to the door, making your way back to your bed, missing it and sliding down to the floor. You lay on the scratchy rug, the tears welling up as you gazed up at the ceiling; you felt everything but nothing at the same time. 

—--------

The sun peeked through your curtains, making you stir in your bed, pulling the sheets over your head. Your head pounded, just what you needed, a hangover. You pushed the duvet off of you, glancing down at the outfit you wore yesterday still on your body. You didn’t bother to change or take your makeup off after Seonghwa left, instead, you sobbed into your pillows and fell asleep that way. You sighed deeply before pushing yourself to get up to change your clothes and wash your face. Your brain hadn’t seemed to have processed everything that happened; you knew you would get messy when you drank, but still did it anyway. Instead of having a good time at the party, you were left with misery as a party favor. You looked at yourself in the mirror, streaks of mascara down your cheek, “You’re such a mess.” You chuckled at yourself, splashing the cold water in your face.

You decided that you would stay in, watch movies, and order takeout until the unforeseen future; you had no motivation to see anyone or anything, not even the sky. You sat in your living room, watching a random 80s rom-com from the stack of movies you had. Bad boy meets good girl, can’t help but fall in love with her, and cannot hide his true feelings, “A bunch of bullshit!” You shouted at the TV, groaning as you leaned back on the chair. But this was your life for a moment, at least you thought so. It was day 3 of moping in your sadness and refusing to see the daylight, full vampire mode, until you were reminded that people cared about your well-being. Your phone rang, Yeosang. You placed the phone to your ear, holding it up with your shoulder as you shoved more popcorn in your mouth, “What’s up?” Yeosang laughed on the other end, “I haven’t heard from you since the party, that’s what’s up. Why haven’t you been answering my texts?” You tossed a kernel up in the air, missing your mouth completely. 

“Right. Well, let’s just say things are shit.” You tossed another kernel up in the air, catching it this time. “Why? What happened?” You sighed, placing the popcorn to the side as you curled up in the chair, “Seonghwa ended things.” You heard Yeosang exhale on the other end, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” You played with your hands, holding back your tears, “Thanks. I’ll get over it, he wasn’t good for me anyway.” You took a deep breath, your mind replaying the fight with Seonghwa over and over. “Why don’t you come over? We can order some food, and play Mortal Kombat? I’ll let you win,” Yeosang snickered. “I always win, Yeosang. What do you mean?” He scoffed, “No, you don’t! Come here and prove it.” You smiled, breaking out into a giggle, “Fine, I’ll come over. Be there in a few.” You hung up, glancing at the state your apartment was in, but having no motivation to clean it right now. 

—--------

The days locked in your apartment made you miss the warmth of the sun, although the air was still chilly. You made your way to Yeosang’s apartment, clicking on the elevator button. You watched as the numbers descended, finally pinging to the lobby. You slid into an empty elevator, pressing Yeosang’s floor, watching the doors close slowly, “Hold the elevator!” You heard someone shout out, usually you would be an ass and pretend you didn’t hear that but you held your hand out for the person. “Thanks.” Ugh, shit. You stared up at Yunho as he made his way in the elevator. “Great," You mumbled under your breath, standing in the corner on the opposite side of him. “Hi,” He spoke, biting down on his lip as you ignored him. 

“Why are you here? I thought I would just get to spend time with my best friend alone, guess not.” You sighed as the elevator moved slowly. “I didn’t know you had plans with Yeosang, I’m sorry. I don’t have to stay, I’ll just go,” Yunho spoke softly, looking over at you. “Now you want to listen to me," You smirked, shaking your head. “What did I do?” Yunho turned to face you. “What didn’t you do?” He furrowed his brows, “Well, maybe you should tell me.” You laughed, looking down at your hands, “I’m not going to bother.” Yunho scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “There you go again.” You glanced over at him, “What does that mean?” The lights from the elevator flickered as it halted to a complete stop, the number on the screen stopping at the 7th floor. You clicked on the buttons, none of them making it move, “Fuck.” You whined, smacking your head against the wall of the elevator, “We’re fucking stuck. How wonderful.” Yunho moved toward the buttons, holding down the emergency button, and the operator picked up, “Hi, we’re in an elevator on 3214 North Emory Street, and it seems like we’re stuck.” Yunho continued explaining to the operator the situation you were both in. “Okay, we’re sending someone over, could be about 30 to 40 mins. Try and remain calm, they will get you out shortly.”

“Remain calm?” You felt your breath quicken; this was the worst time to be claustrophobic. “Hey, deep breaths okay?” Yunho came to your side, sitting you down next to him, his hands holding yours. You nodded at him, feeling your breath slow down, “I’m good, I’m okay.” You glanced down at your hands, both of you pulling away quickly. You couldn’t help but laugh, “What is my life?” You leaned your head against the wall, closing your eyes. It was silent for a few minutes until Yunho spoke again, “I’m sorry for that night.” You opened your eyes, looking over at him, “This is like your 5th apology to me, I think.” You smirked, playing with the rings on your fingers. “If you accept it, I’ll stop,” Yunho chuckled, watching you fidget with your rings. You rolled your eyes, looking over at him, “That’s no fun.” You smiled.

“I think I should be the one to apologize.” Yunho gasped playfully, receiving a nudge from you, “I’m serious! I’ve been such an ass to you, you’re just a good guy and I crucified you for it.” He held his hand up to his chest, “Damn crucified? You’re playing up this church boy role, huh?” You grinned, “Well, aren’t you?” Yunho nodded, “Sure, but it’s not the only thing I am.” He tapped his hand on his legs, “You paint me out to be this saint who could do no wrong. But I’ve done wrong, I can be bad too.” He laughed, playing with the material of his pants. “Oh really? Bad boy Yunho exists? Do tell.” He peeked over at you, his smile fading, “Well, I wanted to punch your boyfriend that night, that’s for sure.” You felt the pressure on your chest again at the mention of Seonghwa, “He’s not my boyfriend.” You responded quickly, biting down on your lip, “He ended things with me that night.” You confessed, staring at Yunho, who had a sad frown on his face, “I told him that we kissed, and he lost it. I mean rightfully so.” Yunho huffed, “He didn’t deserve you.” You shuckled lightly, “You love to say that when you don’t even know me and what I deserve, Yunho.”

He leaned his head back, “I don’t need to know you, to know that you deserve a good guy to treat you well. Someone who will bring you your favorite food, walk you home at night, apologize, take accountability, and will hear you out even if you want to bite their head off.” You couldn’t help but laugh, “Yunho, you’re describing yourself. What are you on about?” Yunho scooted closer to you, his legs brushing against yours. You looked down as his hand traveled to yours, “It means I should’ve kept kissing you that night.” You both stared at each other for a minute, like the heat between you was building as he inched his face closer, kissing your lips softly. You didn’t pull away, instead, you placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him into a deeper kiss, the smell of his cologne penetrating your space. His lips lingered on yours as he kissed the corner of your lips, your cheeks, and back to your lips again, “I’m-” You put your finger up to his lips, “I swear, Yunho, if you apologize one more time.” You threw your leg over him, straddling him now, your arms wrapped around his neck. You kissed him again, not wanting to ever stop. 

He held you close to him, his hands on your lower back as he kissed you with such need, a craving for more of you. You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his lips trail down your neck, placing kisses on your shoulder, licking your skin delicately. You bit down on his bottom lip, tugging it playfully, a smile appearing on his face before he crashed his lips on yours again, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You moaned softly against his mouth, tugging at his hair lightly, feeling him grow beneath you. You felt your hips move against him slowly, an ache burning in your core as you kissed down his neck, sucking at his skin roughly, as he exhaled a groan. You slipped your hands into his coat, tugging at it for him to take it off. He obliged, doing the same to your jacket. His hands slid down the back of your thighs, squeezing them tightly, his fingers creeping under your skirt, up toward your ass. You pulled away from his neck, staring into his eyes as you rocked against him, causing his mouth to drop open as he watched you. 

Beep. “Hey guys-” The operator spoke, causing you and Yunho to jump up instantly. “We have firefighters on their way up to let you out, give them like 5 minutes, okay?” You gulped, fixing your hair and your lipstick. You reached for your jacket from the floor and put it back on, “Thank you.” You stared over at Yunho, his hands adjusting himself as he reached for his coat, too. You both peeked at each other, giggling coming from both sides of the elevator, as the doors opened up in front of you.

[lucysarah1875]

I headcanon the mounting spring MC using some sexual terms not knowing they're, well, sexual due to her upbringing, and just casually using them with Levi while he's just flabbergasted. Example 1:

"Can you give me backshots?"

"...what?!"

"Back massage? I have a terrible ache from riding in the cart."

"..."

Example 2:

"Stop being so stubborn and let me give you head!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Head? You know, like advice or opinion?"

"What the actual fuck are you talking about? Don't say that to anyone else."

Example 3:

"Oh, I'm really craving a good creampie right now. Can you arrange for it?"

Levi, trying not to smirk, "I'll give you as many as you want next spring."

"???"

And maybe she heard something about husbands giving their wives "facials" or "pearl necklaces" and asks him about it? And another joke that you added in Holy ground about "eating out" and "making out", yeah that was really good as well XD I absolutely love "miscommunication" and "misunderstandings" like these hehe

HAHAHAHAHA You know... great minds think alike because THIS IS AN SCENE OF THE UPCOMING CHAPTER HAHA:

Levi shoved the itchy gray blanket higher over his shoulder with a decisive tug, like he was drawing a line—marking the end of whatever pushy conversation she thought she could keep going. His bare legs stuck out the bottom—he’d long given up on staying fully dressed in this godforsaken heat, modesty has lost the battle—but ditching the blanket altogether felt like surrendering to the cold. That was too much. Some things just made sense, even if they didn’t.

One arm folded beneath his head, his face turned away from her, eyes squeezed shut with deliberate force, his brows deeply furrowed. He wasn’t asleep—anyone could tell—but he was clearly committed to faking it. Or at least, forcing the night to end by sheer will. Mostly, he was hoping she’d get the message.

“Levi…” she called out again.

“Go to sleep,” he muttered, each word bitten off and heavy with exhaustion. Her persistence was wearing him down, strand by strand, like a fraying rope.

“But I need to ask you something…” She shifted upright slightly. Her voice had that unmistakable pouty tone—he could practically hear the lip quivering.

“Ask me in the morning.”

“But—” she protested, voice smaller now, embarrassed.

He groaned into the blanket. “For the love of—what could possibly be so important that it can’t wait till sunrise?”

Her voice dipped into a sheepish murmur. “It’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

His brow twitched. Levi let out a longer breath, then scoffed. “And it just had to be asked at three in the damn morning? In a tent?”

“…Kinda.”

The awkward silence that followed was laced with too much emotion to ignore. He cracked one eye open and glanced over his shoulder. She was sitting up now, fiddling with her fingers and looking away.

‘…She’s kinda cute like that,’ he thought grimly, and instantly regretted it.

“I wanted to ask you in private,” she murmured.

Levi propped himself up on an elbow, gaze sharpening. Whatever this was, she clearly wasn’t going to drop it.

“What?” he asked, already annoyed, but clearly listening.

“Well, since you're my husband now and all… I guess it should be you who teaches me.” She was dancing around the words like they were hot coals, and that irritated him even more. He clicked his tongue. “I want to ride.”

His brain shut off.

“…What?”

“It was Hange idea!”

It’s just that his brain had already gone places. Dangerous, sweaty, deeply inappropriate places.

“I want you, as my husband, to teach me how to ride. I don’t really know how to do it, and I’m kinda ashamed, but I thought if I felt a little bit in control, I might be willing to try new things—”

Her awkward stammering was cut off by his sharp interruption, voice rough and suddenly tight.

“Riding what?” he cut in, voice suddenly dry and a little panicked, because his brain was already passing down all the decisions and thinking to his other head.

‘She’s that ready? I mean… I do prefer to be on top, but—shit, for a virgin, she’s eager but I guess it's easier for a virgin to see how much deep they want to go? And here? In a tent? I mean, I won’t be the first to do it like this, but… damn, I thought she'd want a bed at least.’

‘Not that I’m complaining, though.’

“A horse,” she said flatly, frowning at him like he was the idiot. What else is there to ride?”

All the tingling heat rushing down his spine screeched to a stop. His body had been seconds away from betraying him—his scent, his posture, everything had been more than ready to jump the gun. He was even ashamed of how quickly his own body betrayed him giving away a “I’m more than ready,” scent.

“Well,” he muttered under his breath, “I could think of a few things…”

She sniffed. “Wait. Why do you smell like that?”

“Go to bed, for fuck’s sake,” he growled, flipping back over and yanking the blanket high enough to bury half his face.

“Are you going to teach me or not?” A muffled thud followed, along with her yelp: “Don’t hit me with a pillow!”

“Shut up!” Levi hissed. “You’re gonna wake the whole damn camp!”

I AM 100% taking your ideas into consideration and they will be debated with the council (me).

[daisy-01-blog]

That ain’t my baby! (FWB! Gojo x fem! reader x Sukuna) 

A/N: Mentions of sex, light angst, fwb! Gojo, smut on chapter 2

Chapter 1.

(Chapter 2 here)

It has been a week since Gojo replied to your text. You have spent every day wondering if he will text you. But there isn’t any of that familiar chime anytime now.

It’s usually like this; you thought you were already used to it. Turns out you aren’t. Not yet. 

Something like this isn’t healthy—you told yourself you’re only staying because the sex is good. But you know you’re denying yourself. You love him. 

Love is a huge thing for Gojo Satoru, who didn’t even have one for himself. 

He leads you on, but now that you adore him, he said that he didn’t want to put labels on things. 

It kills you, because you knew that you’re not the only person that he kept around. And it stresses you out, but you love his company. 

There isn’t any ‘I love you’ thrown around; you wonder if he didn’t feel it when he caressed your hair; you wonder if he didn’t feel it like you do.

“I’m not ready to commit,” he would say. He would leave you high and dry and then come back like there’s nothing wrong. 

He knows you have no one but him, so he’s certain you will always come back.

Well, what if he’s wrong for once?

You didn’t try calling him today, even though you know he will finally answer your calls and get over to your house to give you a good dicking, treat you like he loves you, and then leave in the morning. 

You can’t have that, not anymore.

You called the number your friend gave you and said she has someone she wants to introduce to you. 

“Hello?” 

***

You met him in the restaurant, and honestly, his appearance is very striking. 

Pink hair and tattoos all over his body. He also looks intimidating. 

His clothes are a simple black shirt with a leather jacket and jeans. You didn’t know whether to be scared or turned on. 

“Hello” he said, with a baritone voice that you knew is not made up. 

“Oh, hello,” you said shyly. You wore a cardigan over a blue dress. 

“You look pretty,” he smiled softly—which surprised you despite his appearance. “I hope I don’t bother you; I basically begged your friend to give my number to you,” he said. 

You blinked. “Wait, you did?” 

His ears redden. “Yeah, I suppose she doesn’t tell you,” he said softly. “Then we should just forget about it.” 

You chuckle, “I think it’s cute.” 

The date was fine, and you enjoyed your time with him. You smile as he asks you if you’d be interested in a second date. 

“Of course,” you said to him, “I would love to,” and you meant it.

You went back to your apartment and saw Gojo sitting on your couch.

“You didn’t call me,” he said, like a pouting kid. But you hate him now.

“Should I?” You said, “I’m a grown-up now; I don’t need to beg for a man’s attention.” 

He frowns; his mind is running. He’s not dumb; he knows you’re sick and tired of this chasing game. You’re wearing something nice, a dress. So a blind date, he reckons. And he can’t do anything about this since he’s the one who set this system up. 

“Wanna fuck?” he asked you.

He’s lucky you’re not that smart.

“Sure,” you shrugged.

Or are you?

[yoshi1517]

THE CARABINIERI ACADEMY

CHAPTER 1 : THE DREAM BEGINS

The sun was high in the sky as the new cadets of the latest Officer Training Course arrived at the grand gates of the renowned Carabinieri Academy in Florence.

Antonio had come with his family, eager to embark on this new adventure. The journey to get here had not been easy, written tests, physical trials, and psychological evaluations had made it a real challenge, but now, he stood before those imposing gates.

"Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad. I'll see you on oath day," Antonio said.

He bid farewell once more to his family, knowing he would only see them through a phone screen for the next year. With his suitcase in hand, he followed a superior officer who had come to escort the new cadets.

As they walked toward the academy's main square, Antonio took in his surroundings. The academy looked enormous, but what truly caught his attention were his new coursemates. He saw many young men around his age—24 years old—but also some who were older. Everyone was dressed formally, wearing jackets and ties. Some were incredibly muscular, with thick arms and legs, while others, like him, were simply fit.

Once they reached the square, they were lined up, and to welcome them stood none other than the academy commander himself, Commander Alessandro.

"Good morning, gentlemen, and welcome," the commander said. "You will spend the next 12 months training here as Carabinieri until the day of your oath. Remember, with dedication and commitment, anyone can become an outstanding officer. So, give it your best."

After the commander left, two young cadets, recently sworn in, gave the newcomers a tour of the academy. The new recruits were fascinated by the classrooms, the gyms, and the training grounds, their expectations were being met, and they couldn’t wait to begin.

At the end of the tour, one of the cadets explained that they would now receive all the clothing they needed for their stay at the academy, along with the study materials and the room assignments.

Antonio felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. He was eager to meet his new roommates but hoped they would be friendly, and, most importantly, open-minded.

The room was not small, just the right size for what they needed. There were three beds, each with a wardrobe and a bedside table with a lamp. In front of the window stood a large desk with a lamp, perfect for late-night studying. When Antonio entered, he saw that his two roommates had already settled in and were putting on their cadet uniforms.

"Well, now we’re complete," one of them said as he noticed Antonio.

"Hi," Antonio greeted them timidly.

"Relax, we don’t bite," the other replied jokingly as he finished adjusting his uniform. "I’m Marco," he said.

"Paolo," the other introduced himself with a nod.

"I’m Antonio," he responded. "Where should I put my stuff?" he asked, looking at their belongings.

"The middle bed, if that works for you," Marco said, pointing to the only unoccupied bed. "I prefer to sleep near the window, unlike Paolo," he added with a grin.

"Listen, if I hear noise, I won’t sleep, and then waking me up for the morning flag-raising will be your problem," Paolo said with a smirk.

The three of them burst into laughter. The initial tension had vanished; they were now roommates, ready to take on this journey together. While waiting for dinner, they chatted about their families, their reasons for choosing this path, and their dreams for the future after leaving the academy.

Marco had a strong, athletic build and never hid his passion for the gym from his friends. His friendly face, warm gaze, and dark brown curls gave him an undeniable charm. He came from a close-knit family that always valued helping others. This upbringing instilled in him a deep sense of responsibility, which ultimately drove him to join the Carabinieri. He wanted to make a difference. Naturally inclined to leadership, he had set his sights on becoming an officer. His ambition extended in two directions, one day, he hoped to become an academy instructor, but he also longed to serve in the field.

Paolo, on the other hand, was more of an intellectual. Incredibly intelligent and endlessly curious, he had always excelled in school. At some point, he realized that law enforcement wasn’t just about physical strength, it required strategy, knowledge, and quick thinking. His talents could be an asset in this world, which led him to enroll in the academy. Though leaner than Marco, he was still in good shape, having trained rigorously for the physical tests. His short black hair and thoughtful expression made it seem like he was always deep in thought. His ultimate goal? To join the intelligence division of the Carabinieri.

And then there was Antonio. Determined and strong-willed, at least on the surface. His build was athletic and well-toned, nothing compared to Marco’s, but still impressive. His piercing black eyes reflected his resilience, and his straight, jet-black hair had a small lock that always fell onto his forehead. Coming from a family with a history in law enforcement, Antonio had always felt destined to follow in their footsteps. His dream was simple: finish his training and become an officer in his hometown’s station.

Dinner was just as enjoyable as the rest of the day. The mess hall buzzed with conversation as the cadets got to know each other, their camaraderie growing with every passing moment. Antonio, Marco, and Paolo continued chatting throughout their meal, discussing football, music, and their favorite video games, even making a pact to challenge each other once their time at the academy was over.

That night, Antonio went to bed with a contented smile. Everything was better than he had expected, his roommates were friendly, and the year ahead suddenly felt less daunting and much more exciting.

The next morning, Antonio was rudely awakened by a sudden jolt, he had fallen out of bed.

"Move it! We have flag-raising in five minutes!" Marco called out.

Still half-asleep, Antonio groggily looked up to see Marco shirtless, tidying up his bed. At the same time, Paolo was stepping out of the bathroom, also shirtless, after freshening up.

"The bathroom’s free. Hurry up, you still have to get dressed and make your bed," Paolo said.

But Antonio was momentarily frozen. He couldn't help but admire his roommates. Marco was more defined than Paolo, but both of them were undeniably attractive.

Before they could notice the way he was staring, Antonio rushed into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face in an attempt to shake off his thoughts.

"I can't let this get to me. For all I know, they’re not even into guys," he muttered to himself.

In just five minutes, he washed up, dressed, and straightened his bed. Soon, all three of them were standing at attention in the square alongside the rest of the cadets for the morning ceremony.

During breakfast, Antonio was still feeling groggy from the abrupt wake-up call.

"Try not to fall asleep in your milk," Paolo teased.

"I hate waking up with a start… I guess I'll have to get used to this schedule," Antonio muttered, stifling a yawn.

"You’ll have plenty of time to wake up, our first class is Criminal Law and Procedure with Professor Locatelli. Not the most exciting subject, but apparently, he’s a good teacher and has a sense of humor," Marco said.

By 8:30 AM, they were already seated in the lecture hall as their fellow cadets trickled in. Antonio, however, found his mind drifting back to that morning. He knew this wouldn’t be the first or last time he’d see his roommates shirtless, or possibly even more, but he couldn’t afford to let his emotions jeopardize everything. Not until he knew where they stood.

Would they accept him if they found out? Would they react badly? The uncertainty gnawed at him.

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of their professor.

"Good Morning"

The entire class immediately stood at attention.

"Be seated."

As soon as everyone settled, the professor continued, "Welcome to the academy and to your course on Criminal Law and Procedure. I’m Professor Locatelli. Now, let’s begin."

Despite his initial drowsiness, Antonio found himself more awake. Law wasn’t his favorite subject, but Professor Locatelli had a way of keeping the class engaged. Everyone listened intently, taking notes, everyone except for one student in the back row.

Antonio noticed him right away. Unlike the rest, this guy wasn’t paying attention at all. Instead, he was absorbed in his laptop, typing away, seemingly uninterested in the lesson.

Antonio leaned toward his friends and whispered, "Do you guys know who that is?"

"I don’t," Paolo replied, "but he clearly doesn’t care about the class. Personally, I find it fascinating."

"I don’t know him personally," Marco added, "but some of the others said his name is Gio. He’s our age."

Antonio nodded but kept glancing back at the mysterious student. Throughout the lecture, he found himself wondering, what was so important that Gio couldn’t even pretend to listen?

"Hi guys and welcome to the first chapter of the new story. Let me know your thought in the comments as always and remember to subscribe if you want to read all the other chapters I'll publish and all the stories I have already published"

[forevamark]

3. i'm gonna yak! | time lapse l.mk

Pairing: mark lee x fem!reader

Tags: pre idol debut to idol au, christmas and new years time line, slice of life moments, college student reader, substantial plot leading to smut, very dialogue heavy, angsty moments, slow burn, relationship struggle, lovers to exes to lovers

Intended for 18+ readers, minors do not interact.

masterlist for time lapse

previous ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next

Word Count : 6.3k+

Summary: Mark has always had the dream of becoming a big music star, meanwhile your aspirations lied with academics and coexisting with Mark. Mark struggles with telling reader that he will be leaving for Korea to pursue his music career very soon, in fear of losing what they have.

warnings are under the tab for chapters that apply.

—-

December 1, 2023

“So you have slept with him… right?” Kathy interrogates ignoring her stacks of papers.

You two were situated in the library cramming for the last exam of your undergraduate career. 

“I have not,” you responded lazily while flipping through the textbook in front of you, “As I told you before, I don’t even know if I’m ready for a relationship yet.”

“It’s been almost a year y/n! Don’t let this go because of He Who Shall Not Be Named…” Kathy groans while attempting to loosen your grip on your pencil, “Seungcheol is so hot, plus he’s a gentleman!”

“I feel like those should have been reversed,” you giggle, finally setting down your things and looking at her, “But yes, he is indeed very hot.”

“Stop holding back! Bring him to the annual Christmas hangout! I’m sure seeing him with all of us will make things a bit more realistic for you. Izaiah is hosting Christmas and New Year’s again. Hopefully, we can rewrite some sour memories and replace them with some sweet ones.”

It wouldn’t be a bad idea. Seungcheol is everything that makes sense as a long-term commitment- not to mention he is someone who wants a long-term commitment with you.

“Okay fine, maybe I will bring him.”

Kathy cheered a loud burst of excitement that elicited a few shushes and glares from around you two.

“Now can we go back to finishing our work? I want to finish all my classwork before the Christmas party this weekend.”

Kathy smiles and nods in agreeance.

Kathy: He will be there this weekend, right? 

Izaiah: Yes he will. Is she prepared? 

Kathy: I think she will be okay 🙂

December 2, 2023

“Red or white?” you ask Seungcheol as you hold up two different dresses in your room, him lying on your bed scrolling lazily before looking up at you.

“Red, it is Christmas after all!” he smiles before continuing to scroll.

Today is the day that Seungcheol will be introduced, properly, to your friend group. As you tugged the mascara through your eyelashes you couldn’t help but wonder what you should even introduce him as. 

“Hey guys! Merry Christmas! This is my friend that I don’t know if he’s more than a friend, sir-friend, Seungcheol!” 

Ick. You shook your head and pulled your pajamas on. You walked out meeting Seungcheol at the door as he laced his shoes, him in matching pajamas.

He grabbed his keys and the mac and cheese from the kitchen table before meeting your anxious gaze, “Ready?”

-

The crisp winter air filled with the aroma of pine and chimney smoke greeted me as you both approached Izaiah’s house. His neighborhood was adorned with twinkling Christmas lights, and the anticipation of warmth and joy hung in the air. You two reached the doorstep and knocked on the festive wreath-adorned door.

The door creaked open, revealing Izaiah’s smiling face. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he welcomed you both inside. The cozy living room was transformed into a winter wonderland, adorned with tinsel, ornaments, and a beautifully decorated Christmas tree that stood proudly in the corner.

“It’s about time!” Izaiah exclaims while pulling you into his warm home, “I was wondering when you would show up.” 

“Hi Izaiah, it really has been a while huh?” 

He chuckles as you and Seungcheol shuffle in from the cold and take your shoes off.  The boys share a hug and close the door.

“Yes, far too long! Congrats by the way! Finally done, welcome to the alum life!” 

“I’m so happy I’m done. Now let’s just hope I don’t fall on that stage.”

Friends surround you two greeting you two with holiday cheers and introductions.

A smile creeps onto your face as Seungcheol brightens the room even further with his charisma and charm.

"Hey there! Merry Christmas!" Kathy exclaimed, giving you a warm hug. The sounds of cheerful holiday music and laughter filled the air. The room was bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights, casting a warm and inviting ambiance.

"I love what you've done with the place. It's like stepping into a Christmas dream," you say, taking in the festive atmosphere.

"Thanks! I went all out this year. Come on, let’s eat," Izaiah said, leading us through the festively decorated rooms. The fireplace crackled with a gentle warmth, casting a comforting glow over the room. 

In the kitchen, the scent of freshly baked cookies wafted through the air. A plate of gingerbread men, snowflake-shaped sugar cookies, and chocolate truffles tempted you from the counter. Kathy pointed proudly at the treats.

"I spent all morning baking. Help yourself!"

You two settled into the cozy living room, surrounded by the glow of Christmas lights. The flickering flames in the fireplace danced to the rhythm of the laughter and conversation. Festive ornaments dangled from the tree, and wrapped presents nestled beneath its branches.

As you all shared stories and caught up on each other's lives, the joy of the season was evident. Seungcheol’s energy felt like he was always a part of your little group. He was extroverted, making jokes here and there and telling crazy stories from his fraternity. Everyone loved him, and maybe you were included in that everyone? The room echoed with the warmth of friendship, and the spirit of Christmas was alive and well. 

The memories of the year prior hung heavy in your heart as you saw the same curtains you hid behind as you played with the little kids. The way Mark would stand against the counter, his eyes never leaving your frame as you held a baby. You remember in that moment you wanted so badly for that baby to be yours, to be his. 

Your mindless thoughts were shaken away as Seongcheol laid a lazy arm around your shoulder and gave you an ‘Are you okay’ eyebrow raise. You gave him a thumbs up before trying to settle between his arms on the couch. 

A doorbell cut off Kathy retelling a story of how you both got lost during your study abroad trip in Peru.

“Terry my boy!” Kathy shrieked as she was nearing the penultimate part of the story, “Get the door!” 

“I need to break the seal!” He shouts back, running towards the bathroom, “I’m going to pee myself from laughter!” 

You chuckle before standing up. “I’ll get it don’t worry.”

“Actually! How about I get it!” Izaiah squeaks while standing up quickly almost racing you to the door, “I am the host after all!” he sings.

“I’m already here!” you giggle pushing him out of the way.

“Please I insist!” He chuckles uneasily, starting to shove you harder, “Go get a drink!”

“I have one I’m fine-” you shove back playfully.

“Then get me one,” he grips your shoulders tightly, “please?”

“Okay…” you eye him wearily before walking backward, “Who is late anyways? Everyone is here.” 

Walking back into the living room everybody is tense. Kathy hurriedly meets you at the minibar as you pull out a glass, “So Seungcheol is assimilating in nicely I see!” 

“Yeah, I guess he is…” you mumble while pouring the gin. Commotion came from the door, greeting the new face to the party.

Kathy turns your frame to face her, “I’m so glad you brought him! You two are like perfect together!” 

“I don’t know if perfect is the word…” you bump into her lightly, “It’s only been like a month.”

“Well, a lot changed in a month! You’re finally all smiley after a year of Miss Grumpy, I’d say let’s cheers to that!” She raises her cup to meet yours.

“This isn’t even mine,” you chuckle before clinking glasses with her.

“Well trust me you’re going to need that shot!” She hurriedly lifted the cup to your lips and felt the liquid burn down your throat. 

“That sucked!” you yelled while making a face.

“Not as much as this…” She mumbled while pouring you another.

“Woah slow down!” you laughed about to stop her, but she handed you the glass again.

“No no… you’ll need that!”

Before you could protest you heard something from behind that made you drop the glass on the floor, everyone’s head turning towards you, the silence deafening. 

“Merry Christmas everyone!” the voice rasped out before turning towards the mess of a noise you made.

There he stood. Looking more amazing than ever. His hair was a light brown, not put together but gorgeously effortless. His cheeks were dusted pink, growing more red by the second as you two stood there taking each other in. The room seemed to start spinning as you took in the man you once knew so fondly. 

He’s changed a lot, yet not at all. His posture was better, long gone was that slouch that used to slump over his guitar in your apartment. His style was still the same, baggy sweaters and sweatpants only this time adorned in name brands that probably cost the same as your semesterly tuition. But his hands. They gleamed in the silver jewelry, rings stacked with bracelets to match. 

Your hands shook as he felt time still staring at the woman he never stopped loving. Your curves hugging your silk red pajamas, fluffy socks with small snowmen. It’s you. It’s always been you.

“y/n” he breathed out. 

“Mark-” you whispered. 

“Oh my God! It’s thee, Mark Lee!” You heard from across the room breaking your eye contact between you two, Mark’s unmoving.

“Dude, you are a legend!” Seungcheol said while motioning to Mark to dap him up. Mark doesn’t look away as he accepts his handshake and mumbles a small thank you. 

“Babe, you never told me you know Mark Lee?” Seungcheol says while wrapping an arm around you, “The pride of our town, man, thee, Mark Lee.”

“Babe?” Mark scoffs while narrowing his eyes at Seungcheol, finally breaking eye contact to take in your two matching pajamas. 

“Not official,” Seungcheol laughs before heading towards the fridge, “But don’t worry, we’ll lock that down soon,” he winks at you before turning back to Mark, “Yo bro, want a drink? I bet you have so many stories, you know, with you being famous and all.”

Mark shook the thousands of angry thoughts away from his mind and managed to shake out a stiff nod accepting the beer and taking a hefty gulp.

“Let me help you clean that,” Mark marches over to your still frozen yet shaking self.

“It’s fine.” you squeak as he kneels starting to pick the glass up with his bare hands.

“Like I’m going to have you hurt yourself…” Mark mumbles while picking the large shards.

Anger began to resurface, along with pain and hurt, “It’s fine, you already did.”

Pushing past him, you run to the bathroom to finally get some air that your lungs didn’t seem to be taking in. Sliding down the door you let the tears fall.

It’s him. It’s him. It’s him.

—

"So, Mark, how do you know y/n?” Seungcheol asked, taking a sip of his beer in the living room. He sat adjacent to Mark, your friends scattered across the room, eyeing the scene in front of them carefully.

Mark forced a smile, hiding the twinge of discomfort. "We've known each other for a few years. We’re friends. Met in grade school. We were… best friends.”

Seungcheol nodded, genuinely interested in getting to know the famous man better. "That's cool. She is a great person. What made you two so close?”

The room took in a quick gasp, Seungcheol too oblivious to notice.

Mark hesitated for a moment, carefully choosing his words. "We just crossed paths naturally, you know? Izaiah and I were friends, played basketball together, and she would always be there. She was always there.”

Seungcheol smiled, oblivious to any underlying tension from Mark’s response. “That’s crazy, dude.”

Mark nods.

“She like, never mentioned you. I always just thought it was her and Kathy as the 4lyfers.”

Mark's eyes flickered, masking the unease he felt. "Yeah, we've always been on good terms. It’s just you know… the new life as an idol and all…”

Mixed knowing looks were exchanged around the room as everybody tried to not scoff at his words.

Seungcheol had no problem talking about himself. He chatted about work, hobbies, and shared interests. Seungcheol's excitement grew, not only did he achieve another level with you today by meeting the rest of your friends, but he also met your longest best friend. He had been contemplating asking you to be his girlfriend, and he couldn't help but share his thoughts with Mark.

"You know, Mark, everyone, I've been thinking about something. Christmas is just around the corner, and I'm planning to ask y/n if she'd like to be my girlfriend. I enjoy spending time with her, and I feel like it's the right time to take things to the next level," Seungcheol confessed, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Everyone oohed and ahhed at his confession, but everyone’s attention was on Mark.

Mark's forced smile faltered for a moment, his internal struggle evident. "That sounds like a great idea. I hope it works out for you two,” his words tasted like vinegar, his voice laced with jealousy and hurt.

Seungcheol grinned, oblivious to the conflicting emotions in Mark's mind. "Thanks, man. I appreciate your support. I'll make it special for her."

Little did Seungcheol know, the conversation had stirred a storm of resentment within Mark. As he contemplated the upcoming confession, Mark couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy and regret, concealing the complicated history between you two. The holiday season seemed to hold more than just festive cheer; it carried the weight of untold secrets and unspoken feelings.

–

You couldn’t wait in this bathroom forever. You knew that. 

But why the fuck was he here?

He was supposed to be gone at least for three years. At least.

You were still trying to figure everything out with Seungcheol. And how dare he just claim you like that in front of everybody? You weren’t even ready to be in a relationship yet… right?

But why not? Why couldn’t you be?

You took more deep breaths while staring intently in the mirror trying to level yourself. 

You’re fine. You’ve been fine for a long time. He’s old news, and truthfully you’re probably even older news to him. 

Patting under your eyes and straightening out your clothes, you said some affirmations before tugging on the door handle. 

I’m fine. It’s all good.

“There she is!” Kathy shouted while rising to her feet, and rushing over to you, “How are you doing?” she whispered while pulling you softly into a hug.

“You fucking knew didn’t you?” you sneered back with a fake smile.

“So sorry! But no way to get over it completely without ripping the bandaid off completely!” she pouts, “Plus…” she wiggled her eyebrows, “What is the best way to show your ex that you’re doing great? How about a hot new boyfriend?”

You sigh as you mull over her words… maybe Seungcheol would be a great way to rub it into Mark’s face.

“Sorry, y’all!” you present to everyone while making your way to Mark, “Just couldn’t believe my bestie boo was back after all this time!” you shove him hard as you pull him into a threatening hug, “What a Christmas miracle huh?”

“Haha…” Mark chuckled with a confused tone while returning your tight embrace taking in a deep breath of your scent, “Guess Santa came early!”

“Coal would have been just as fine…” you hum pulling away and walking towards Seungcheol and plopping right onto his awaiting lap.

“So Mark,” you start in a sickly sweet voice, “How’s Korea been treating you?”

“It’s good.” He flatly says while throwing daggers towards your happy frame sitting on a more than glee Seungcheol.

“Hmm… And being famous, how’s that?” you uninterestingly reply while playing with Seungcheol’s hair.

“It’s great. But I don’t love having to hide just to go to the store and get some snacks.”

A few laughs ricocheted off the walls from your friends.

“But you’re used to that right?” you turn to him, “Ya know, hiding?”

“Something like that,” he whispered through tight lips. 

“How about being a big-time idol? What’s it like reaching your big dreams?” you make a show of jazz hands emphasizing your sarcasm.

“Not my dreams, not yet,” he sighs his eyes becoming sad.

“Always wanting more, right? Never could be satiated here right?” you felt your anger starting to bubble while you eyed down Mark.

“Woah, y/n, calm down a bit yeah? Mark has probably been through a lot to get where he is now. You gotta respect that!” Seungcheol eased into your ear trying to deescalate the palpable uneasiness from you.

“Oh no, yeah Mark has done a lot!” Izaiah chimes in cutting the tension, “Now enough catching up! Welcome back, Mark! Now let’s play some music, karaoke maybe? And let’s get this Christmas party started!”

Everyone seemed to snap out of the drama scene that was happening in front of them before finally cheering along and dispersing toward different parts of the room.

–

“Y/n,” Seuncheol cleared his throat from behind you during a game of cup pong, “I think Mark might have like a thing for you or something…” 

You turned to him with frantic eyes, “No! No! No, he wouldn’t. That’s dumb. You’re dumb. He’s dumb. Why would you say something so dumb?” you quickly spew.

“I don’t know… He keeps staring at you like he wants to eat you or something…” he whispers into your ear pulling you closer, his hands wandering down your backside before landing on your rear, “I mean I don’t blame him, you are very attractive and the best girl I’ve been around in a long time, but he probably has millions of girls begging at his feet. He’s got to leave you alone.”

Mark stood at the other end of the table watching the interaction, the cup he was forced to chug about to succumb to his tight grip. 

“Yeah, millions…” you whisper before aiming at one of his cups and it ultimately missing.

“You know I’ve been thinking about something, something about us…” Seungcheol says as he reracks the cups, “I was thinking about locking us down before Christmas time, how does that sound?”

Seungcheol’s words felt uncomfortable as they sat in your heart. You didn’t like having this conversation with Mark just a yard or so away. It didn’t feel genuine. It felt like a petty attempt to ward Mark away from you. A trophy to hang off his shoulder. 

“What a weird thing to bring up now, hm?” you dismiss him before taking aim once again.

“Come on! We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now! I’m into you, and you are definitely into me, what’s holding you back now?”

His words deemed to be a bit too loud as Mark interrupted Seungcheol’s confession by hitting him right on the forehead with the ball.

“Whoops! Sorry dude.” Mark muses disengenuinesly. 

“Watch it bro,” Seungcheol mutters tossing the ball back, “If I didn’t know any better I would have thought it was on purpose…” 

“Just… get your head in the game,” you whisper to Seungcheol as you take the shot that Izaiah seemed to sink in the meantime. 

Seungcheol shook his head. Shortly after, you two admitted defeat as Mark sunk the last cup on your side.

The drinks seemed too keep flowing down your throat, each drink blurring the feelings of Mark and Seungcheol. You just needed to make it through the night, after that you can deal with the mess. 

As the night progresses, you start to realize that maybe you have had  indulged in one too many drinks. Your laughter became louder, your movements became slower. Seungcheol starts to notice the change in your behavior, concern etching his features.

“Hey, you okay? Maybe you should slow down on the drinks a bit yeah?” He says while steadying your rocking frame.

“I’m fine, Seungcheol! It’s Christmas, the end of the semester, let’s enjoy!” 

“Alright little angel, your wish is my command!” He chuckles before grabbing your hand and making his way towards the minibar.

The alcohol, however, takes its toll, and your antics became increasingly unpredictable. Everything seemed to happen so fast, you almost didn’t realize what was happening. Seungcheol accidentally bumps into someone while trying to guide you through the room. The person, annoyed, confronts Seungcheol.

“Watch where you’re going bro!” Yelled Mark as he stands up quickly and starts wiping at his now stained sweater.

“It was an accident okay, calm down big shot.” Seungcheol annoying says while pulling you forward.

“Didn’t seem like an accident,” Mark retorts while pushing Seungcheol.

“What the hell is your problem dude?” Seungcheol says while letting go of your hand to size him up.

“Absolutely nothing.” Mark seethes while getting closer. His eyes shift to your spinning inebriated frame.

“Let me just give my girl a drink Mark.”

“I think she’s actually ready to go, come on y/n” Mark replies while grabbing you before you fell to the floor.

“Dude, what the hell? Get your hands off of her, she’s fine. Izaiah, pour me two more shots! One for me and one for my graduate!” Seungcheol hollers while trying to pull your other arm.

“Woah I’m on a cruise!” You drunkenly sigh as they pull you both ways.

“Yo! Let go of her, she’s going to yak!” Mark shouts before just lifting you up to run you outside.

“I’m gonna yak!” You shout as Mark’s running had you bouncing up and down.

Mark made it just in time to Izaiah’s front yard before you started throwing your guts up.

“My-“

“Don’t worry I got your hair,” Mark coos as he gathers up your hair into a ponytail.

“You always know what to do Markie,” you sigh as you fell onto your side, hands massaging your stomach.

Seungcheol rushes outside with a water bottle in hand, knees falling to the ground to hold your head up.

“How did you know she was going to throw up?” Seungcheol asks quietly while feeding you the water slowly, “Did you two drink a lot before you left?”

“She says she’s on a cruise then she’ll throw up right after,” Mark smiles then joins you two on the floor, “Never surprised me.”

“Mark just tell me straight up.” Seungcheol clears his throat, “do you want my girl?”

“I’m not your girllll…” you slur with saliva dripping down your chin, “Stop calling me that!” You hiccup before starting to drift off into sleep.

Seungcheol sighs, “Mark, if you two are best friends, why did she never mention you? Why did she all of a sudden start acting weird when you showed up today? What is everyone not telling me? So tell me, are you in love with y/n?”

Mark finally took his eyes off of you to meet Seungcheol’s accusation, “Yes I love her. I never stopped.”

Seungcheol clicks his tongue, “I knew it, just from the way you’ve been staring at her! Look bro, just so we’re clear-“

Mark cuts him off, “No, just so we’re clear, she’s mine. She always has been. It was a mistake to leave her a year ago. But I’m back, and no matter how hard you try to come and take her from me, she’ll always know that I’m the one for her.”

“I won’t let you take y/n away from me. Now go back to Korea and keep singing your little songs. She’s moved on from you.”

Everything was still as the two stared each other down. Despite your in and out consciousness. You heard every word. He still loves you. After all this time, you had to admit you still loved him too. But he left, and soon he’ll leave again. You have to move on.

“What’s her favorite song?” Mark whispered.

“Sunday Morning, easy.” Seungcheol shrugs

Correct.

“What’s her favorite color?” 

“Pastel blue.”

Correct.

“Why did she want to become an English major?”

“Because she loves to write.”

“Sure, but why does she love to write?”

“I don’t know man, she just likes to write, she’s always writing.”

“She likes to write because,” Mark sighs while staring at the sky, “she has all these thoughts in her head and she needs to let them out on paper for her to think straight. She writes because she thinks if she talks, no one will remember, and her words will outlive her. She writes not because she likes it, but because she needs to. It’s her dream to have others listen to her and feel something.”

You tried to stifle the tears in your eyes, so neither of them would notice you were awake. Mark was right. He always was, he understood you in ways that you never had to convey, he just knew. 

“You’ve known her since you were kids, of course you would know that. I’ve known her for a couple months, I’m sure in time she would have told me.” Seungcheol scoffs.

“She never told me,” Mark whispers while sparring one last glance at you then brushing off his jeans, “Make sure she gets home safe, Seungcheol. She’ll want kimchi fried rice, an iced coffee, and a cut persimmon with the skin off in the morning. Take care of her for as long as she’ll let you.”

Mark leaves as Seungcheol lifts your tired frame, your eyes unable to stop the tears coming out any longer until you fell asleep on the car ride home.

—

December 9, 2023

“What do you want for Christmas?” Seungcheol asks as you two lay on the sofa at your apartment watching some cheesy Hallmark movie. You haven’t been able to move all day. Somehow the lingering feeling of a hangover lasting a week, keeping you rooted to your couch huddled in blankets.

“Ah, nothing really,” you sigh huffing as the main female protagonist kisses the lead male, “not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year.”

“What are you actually going on about?” Seungcheol laughs, “you put your Christmas tree up on November 1st. You baked snowman cookies and set up a hot cocoa bar? That is the penultimate Christmas experience!” 

You blew at your bangs and rolled your eyes before turning the TV off. 

“Christmas just presents unrealistic expectations and and gets people’s hopes up for nothing. So overrated.”

Seungcheol sighs then begin pacing the room, “I think you need to get out of the house. I know you got sick after the party, and although you can be quite the messy yet funny drunk, I have cleared you well enough to leave the apartment!”

Hungover is now an understatement. The mention of the Christmas party glazes over your eyes and your throat feels tight. 

“I miss you, y/n.”

I miss Mark.

Hold on. What the fuck are you saying? No you don’t. 

“Let’s go shopping!” Seuncheol yells while heading into your closet to find you an outfit, “head to the shower, respectfully babe, you lowkey stink.”

There’s no point in fighting him. Maybe you need some fresh air.

The mall was packed. It was buzzing with Christmas cheer, lights twinkling in every window, the smell of cinnamon and pine wafting through the air. You pull your coat tighter around her, trying to shake off the heaviness in her chest. It should’ve been the perfect day to soak in the holiday spirit, especially with Seungcheol by her side. He was grinning ear to ear, pointing out everything from festive scarves to ridiculous holiday mugs, clearly enjoying himself.

"You think you could pull off this reindeer sweater?" he teased, holding up a bright red knit with a goofy-looking reindeer plastered across it.

Y/N chuckled softly, her heart not quite in it. "You’d look way better in it," she replied, nudging him gently.

Seungcheol laughed, oblivious to the sadness clouding her thoughts. Every corner of the mall felt like a reminder of Mark. This was where they used to spend hours just loitering until they were forced to leave by security. You remembered being young and dumb teens trying different mismatched outfits and forcing each other to wear them around the rest of the day. The bright green sign of Yogurt Mountain reminding you of Mark not being able to turn off the machine ending in the frozen yogurt spilling all on the floor. The memories felt like ages ago, so nostalgic but painful. It had been a year since you two broke up, but the memories still lingered, tugging at you as you tried to shake them off.

Seungcheol’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. "Hey, let’s check out this store! I think I found the perfect gift for you," he said with excitement, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward a small boutique.

You forced a smile, wanting to be present, wanting to enjoy this moment with him. But your gaze always seemed to drift, catching a glimpse of the jewelry shop across the way. As luck would have it…

Mark.

He was there, casually browsing a display of bracelets and rings, completely unaware of your presence. His frame was unassuming, all dressed in black. His face was hidden beneath a baseball cap, the perfect disguise for an idol unwanting to be seen and regain even a fraction of normalcy. But you would recognize him anywhere. You froze, unable to pull your eyes away.

Seungcheol, still focused on the display in front of him, started talking about a delicate silver necklace he thought would look good on you, but you weren't listening. You watched as a few people started to notice Mark. Then, in an instant, everything changed. Paparazzi flooded the scene, cameras flashing, voices yelling his name.

Mark’s expression shifted from calm to panicked. Y/N could see the tension in his shoulders as the crowd pressed closer. He backed away, his hands shaking as he tried to escape the chaos. The noise seemed to blur, and all you could think was how this was the side of his life he probably hated most—the relentless pressure, the invasion of privacy.

Mark’s breaths became shallow, his eyes wide as he struggled to keep it together, and before you realized what you was doing, you had started toward him, concern overtaking you.

But Seungcheol called your name softly, pulling you back to reality. "Y/N? Are you okay? You seemed distracted." He looked at you, concern written on his face, and for a second, you considered telling him everything—about Mark, about how hard it was to shake the past.

But you didn’t. Not yet.

You glanced back toward the jewelry shop, but Mark was gone, swallowed up by the crowd. The moment passed, and you turned back to Seungcheol, offering him a soft smile.

"I’m fine," you said, trying to mean it. "Let’s keep looking."

–

Mark was not fine.

“Mark! What’s it like being home?”

“Mark! Who are you shopping for? Someone special?”

“Mark! Care to comment on rumors of you and fellow idol Miyeon dating?”

“Mark! Is it true you will be the new leader of the next subunit of NCT?”

Mark really though he could just keep his head down as he walked through the mall. 

“All you need is a hat to cover your face, maybe a face mask, and you’ll be fine!” He can hear his older member, Johnny in his ears. Obviously, the terrible advice from over the phone proved to be very wrong.

It was supposed to be a quick trip—get a few Christmas gifts, maybe grab something to eat, and get out before anyone recognized him. But, of course, that was too much to ask.

It started with a couple of fans who spotted him near the jewelry store. A few whispers, a camera phone raised, and within seconds, it spiraled. The murmurs grew louder, and the crowd thickened, flashing cameras following every step.

"Mark! Over here!" someone yelled, their voice cutting through the noise.

His heart raced as the mob of paparazzi and fans surged around him, closing in too quickly. They were everywhere—voices overlapping, questions hurled at him, hands reaching out. The flashing lights blinded him, the noise overwhelming as they shouted his name, desperate for a reaction.

He tried to move away, but there was no escape. His breaths came faster, shallow and uneven, his chest tightening painfully. The world spun, and his pulse thudded in his ears, drowning out the chaos for a brief moment.

He can’t breathe.

Mark’s hands trembled as he pushed through the crowd, his vision narrowing, everything becoming a blur of faces and flashes. He needed to get out. He needed air. But every step he took, the crowd pressed in closer, suffocating him.

His legs moved on autopilot, driven by the single thought of escape. That’s when he saw it—the bright, colorful sign of a Build-A-Bear store up ahead. Without thinking, he bolted toward it, slipping through the doors and collapsing against the wall just inside, the noise of the crowd finally muffled by the glass.

The smell of soft fabrics and the sound of cheery music greeted him, a stark contrast to the madness outside. His breathing was ragged, his hands still shaking as he pressed them against his knees, trying to calm the rising panic.

One of the employees, a young girl with a Santa hat on, looked up from the counter, startled. Her eyes widened when she realized who he was, but instead of rushing over, she stayed where she was, giving him space.

Mark closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of his own heartbeat, willing it to slow down. He took a deep breath, then another, the plush toys around him oddly soothing. The calm atmosphere of the shop felt like a small bubble of peace, a stark difference to the chaos outside.

"Hey," a soft voice called from nearby. He opened his eyes to see the employee standing a few feet away, holding a small teddy bear. "I thought you might want something to hold," she said gently, offering it to him with a kind smile.

He hesitated for a moment before reaching out and taking the bear, the soft fur comforting beneath his fingertips. His breathing steadied, the tension slowly easing from his body. He sank onto a nearby bench, clutching the bear to his chest like a lifeline.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, still catching his breath.

She nodded, understanding in her eyes. "Take your time," she said before quietly retreating back to the counter, leaving him in peace.

For a few minutes, Mark just sat there, cradling the bear and letting the panic subside. Outside the store, he could see the paparazzi through the glass, still waiting, still searching for him. But for now, inside the Build-A-Bear, he was safe, wrapped in a strange, quiet comfort that he desperately needed.

After some time, Mark was finally able to stand. With wobbly knees he lifted his eyes, his sweaty palms finally loosening his grip on the small bear. Taking in his surroundings, he finally realized how pathetic he felt. How alone he felt. Most of the crowd has disappeared by that point, probably escorted out by security due to the safety concerns. 

“I’m sorry for the startle,” he finally spoke to the girl at the register.

“No need to apologize,” she smiled, “it can’t be easy living like this huh?” she softly says. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”

Mark felt like he needed to pace so he roamed the plush store, feeling comforted by the empty skins of the various options. In a weird way, he related to this sad, sad, shell of a bunny. 

He held up it’s limp body, it’s smile sewn on, never to be changed. But it was empty. 

“This is the life I chose, this is the life I will love,” he whispers holding the sagging brown bunny close.

“Do you wanna stuff it?” The girl from the register asks from behind, “they’re kind of weird when they are all sitting there sad and limp like that, but I swear they come out very cute. Great presents too!”

Mark contemplated for a moment before agreeing. 

“I’ll lead you through it okay? It’s kind of weird but I am obligated to do the heart ceremony with you,” she giggles. 

“Rub your heart in your hands for warmth.” 

Mark closes his eyes and rubs his hands imaging warmth. The last time he felt true warmth was an embrace from you.

“Pat your heart, for your friends heart beat forever,”

Mark pats his chest while clearing his throat. Has his heart really kept beating since leaving you?

“Rub it on your head, for smart thoughts,”

Mark chuckles at the thought. His little scholar… he can imagine you with your hair up in a claw clip chewing at the tip of an apple pencil planning out your paper… his little graduate.

Fuck. 

His graduate. 

You graduate next week.

“I see that you have someone in mind…” the girl laughs while she picks up the bunny, “if you’re looking for a sign, I’ll say it. Yes, you should give it to her.”

Mark perks up, “do you have any graduate outfits for the bunny?”

She laughs while taking the bunny out of his hands prepping to stuff it with fluff, “slow down there mr. romantic, we will dec out this bunny in no time.”

Mark walked out 30 minutes later with two boxes and a new pep in his step.

It’s time to get his girl back.

---

LET'S GO MARK!!! orrrr are you team seungcheol???

have a happy new year everyone <3

xoxo

foreva mark

[doonalli]

The Point of Alice's Death in 3-1 (Mini-Analysis)

Gonna start trying a new thing where unlike my other analyses where instead of making a long post about specific characters i make shorter ones about particular scenes in the chapter.

So while it may not be as long I still hope I'm able to make you appreciate the chapter a little more bit by bit regardless With that said I want to talk about a specific (controversial?) moment, being the Yabusames death in 3-1

I'll be focusing particularly on Alice because I'm an Alice router lmao, but I'd love if any Reko'ers were able to add their own input too!! So a common criticism of the Yabusame's death is that it "comes from nowhere". Not in the sense that Ranmaru killing them came from nowhere (I've explain already why that's just not true in my Ranmaru analysis) but in the sense that it makes no sense why they specifically were targeted rather than anyone else.

At first glace it seems like it has nothing to do with their arcs at all and the easiest answer is to just say "they just so happened to be there" but this is a story and Nankidai could have chosen anyone to be there. Yet it was them specifically, so why is that? Disregarding the fact that it couldn't be anyone else REALLY for plot reasons, (Qtaro already being dead, Keiji being trapped, Gin being needed for the Banquet and Sou because it's likely he'll be necessary for 3-2) because that doesn't feel like a real answer to me, and because I feel like there is more to it than just that. One important note to call attention to is that Alice dies exactly in the same spot as Hinako did. Obviously, this already draws a connection as Alice was the one who doomed Hinako in the first place by leaving early and "betraying" her in the First Trial.

But this also leads into what in my eyes is the most important aspect of this death, which is the fact that Alice never found out that he killed Hinako in this route. Now that may seem like a point against this death, as it kills Alice before this moment in his arc, which should be important, but stay with me for a second. One of the major points of Alice's arc is the way his character asks the question of if your even better of knowing in the first place. This is shown in one of the first major changes in his route where he actually ends up using Safalin's machine where Reko didn't

Gin tells him that it doesn't seem right what he did while Safalin affirms that she still believes her machine is one way to achieve happiness.

In particular she says "If all you have is burdens, that isn't life..."

And it's this question that seems to loom over Alice over his arc for the next chapters.

Later Alice is face to face with Midori, someone who is responsible for ruining his life, right after finding out he didn't really kill him at all, and earlier in a similar situation he acted very aggressive towards Gashu

and you'd expect him to be way more mad because he has more reason to fight with Midori. Yet when he fights...

Alice is awfully calm, something he even notices himself, and it just goes to show the change between the before and after of his choice.

Even Reko, when faced with the same choice, was fully ready to fight.

And this leads Sara to question something important

So why am I even bringing this up? Well, it's because Alice's death brings up the most extreme form of this question. When he dies here, he dies not knowing he killed Hinako, but he DOES know he didn't really kill Midori

At this point Alice is in a state where he is fully oblivious to the murder he committed, thinking that he didn't kill anyone. In a way you could call this Alice's happiest state, dying not as a "real murderer", but as an "innocent person".

But is that really a happy ending? He IS dead after all; sure he isn't a murderer anymore but still. And that's what I think his death wants to ask; Is that happiness a good thing?

Maybe once 3-2 drops we'll be able to actually get an answer to the question in Kanna's route but for now it's interesting that the possibility could even happen in the first place, and I think that will make whatever the answer is end up being, hit all the harder knowing that this was a real possibility.

But another part to death in YTTD is the effect it has on the people alive, and Alice's death does this too.

After the death Sara will think about who Alice was and what he meant as a person (and Reko too, maybe even more for her)

And their death is what finally pushes Sara to swear not to be who Midori says she is.

This scene genuinely means something to everyone in the cast, it shows Sou refusing his emotions, Gin and Sara's relationship and calling attention to his sin, showing us that YTTD won't just write him off as a kid and respects his agency in the situation, and a major moment for all the dummies (which I've talked about in each of their respective analyses).

On a more sentimental level the Yabusame's were also the ones who consistently helped Ranmaru with accepting his humanity and self-confidence, so by having him kill them specifically it shows how Ranmaru ignores those words they said representing how he denies his humanity.

And most importantly it leads us to a very important scene from Q-taro where he talks about how we are all carrying sin.

And who better as a backdrop for this moment then Alice Yabusame. Someone who spent so much of his life burdened by his sin and being unable to forgive himself for it. Reko fits in a way too with her past actions and her regretting not forgiving/believing in Alice when she had the chance. Thematically it just makes sense for them to be there, just to really hit home the message Q-taro presents.

So ultimately, I think it just makes sense for the Yabusames to have been the ones who died there and that it isn't indicative of "bad" or "lazy" writing but instead actually really well done and clever in the way it adds to their arcs while also acting as a good full stop to it too.

Through how it brings together many other characters to add a note into quite literally everyone who is present's arc, and through how it completes Alice's arc in a truly poetic way, I think not only is it not a bad choice to kill them there but actually one of the best examples of YTTD using one of its most unique strengths in its split routes for its character writing.

And I hope I was able to express just why I think that is here.

================================================================================================ AFTERWORD: So yeah, I think there is more to Yabusame's death than it can seem at first and maybe I've helped you see that too or maybe you think there is something more to add or you just think I'm insane and there isn't actually anything to it idk lol

I also understand that some people like the Yabusames and are simply mad that the route they chose ended up killing them for something they felt was out of their control, but at the end of the day this is a story and characters dying is a part of it, you can feel saddened by their death, its expected even, a death SHOULD affect you in that way, but I hope you can see how this death is so much more than that and the way its masterfully woven into the themes of their characters.

It's pretty common to see criticism of this death as "pointless" or "just for shock value" and it saddens me because there is far more to it and to Alice and Reko as characters then that and so I wanted to write this in an effort to show off just how much thought is put into them even in CH3 when it's possible they aren't even there. either way I hope you enjoyed reading this mini analysis and that I got you to think about it even a little bit more!!! See you next time for a bigger analysis more akin to what you'd usually see here.

[wrathofrats]

Seeing Blind (you’re too good to be all mine)

Chapter 5. Mature, 2.4k. Read under cut or on Ao3

(Part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

As always thank you to @divine-misfortune for writing this with me <3

Rain whipped around. Confused to see Dew running up to him from the side field, brushing debris off of his overalls. They had never spoken before, at least not directly like this. Small quips and comments when he finds himself at Swiss’ side that sound like they’re meant to be digs directed at him despite the fact Dew barely acknowledged his presence.

“I’m sorry?”

“I think we should have a talk“

It’s Rain’s turn to barely sleep in Swiss’ arms. His head swimming with a tirade of thought. Was he not good enough? Did he do something wrong? Go too fast? Maybe Swiss just didn’t want him in the same way he did?

He could feel how hard he was against his back for a good portion of the night. Rationally, most of that couldn’t possibly be true. Why would Swiss assume he wasn’t ready for it? None of it made sense and it left a strange, conflicted feeling in him. Not quite dejected but certainly confused.

At least he could finally sleep comfortably beside him, in a bed, like real people who like each other do.

When the sun threatens to crest the horizon, Swiss is shifting behind him. Moving carefully. Thoughtfully trying not to jostle Rain awake, no reason for him to have to adhere to the ungodly early schedule Swiss kept. It’s a hopeless effort but it was the thought that counted. Rain stirred as the arm beneath his head began to retreat, making a soft sound he could only describe as a chirp. His eyes fight to open, drooping despite himself, as Swiss slipped from the cozy little cocoon they’d made.

“Shh tadpole…Go back to sleep”

Cute. Rain looked beyond adorable and Swiss suddenly understood the meaning of ‘cuteness aggression’. The messy hair and blush coloring his cheeks the loveliest shade of pink was entirely unfair, but the way he managed to bat those pretty eyelashes was playing dirty.

“Just’a couple more minutes Swiss, ‘lease” Rain mumbled his way right into a yawn, tugging at Swiss’ shirt like he might just drag him back into bed like this.

“I’ve gotta go, I can’t be late. But come see me on my break, ‘kay?”

Swiss smoothed the hair from his forehead, dipping down to kiss the little crease between his brows before Rain’s head dropped back to the pillow with a small whine that he gives up on committing to when the comforters pulled back over him. Hard not to snuggle back in, harder not to bury his face in the other pillow to inhale the comfortable lingering scent like he might just pretend Swiss was still beside him.

Didn’t stop him from pouting though.

Leaving Rain was a real test of his will but dutifully Swiss dragged himself away. It was safer for him to duck out as early as this, less of a chance of being caught by the wrong person. He woefully stuffed his feet back into his muddy boots abandoned by the front door and trudged outside towards his truck.

He prayed it was too early for anyone else to be lurking about, and if it had to be anyone, let it be Mountain.

But God had a sense of humor, apparently.

Dew and cirrus were waiting for him with wolfish grins near the tractor, immediately trying to prod him for answers.

"Well well well, smooth talked your way right into his bed huh?" Dew laughed

"Didn't take him for easy.” Cirrus folds her arms looking over his sorry, disheveled state.

"So how was he? Did he even know what he was doing? Was it embarrassingly bad? That why you're doing the walk of shame before the suns even up?" Dew gasped at the promise of scandal, hanging off of Cirrus’ arm with a smirk like he was pleased with himself.

Swiss couldn’t tell if he wanted them to die or if he'd like a stampede of cattle to take him out then and there. Honestly, didn't know if they even deserved a response. Probably shouldn’t. All their senseless prodding, he shouldn’t dignify it but God Dew was too fucking annoying to ignore at times.

“We didn’t do anything” Swiss pushed past them to make the hike back to his truck so he could at least change. Boss might give him weird looks for showing up in yesterday's wrinkled clothes.

“Oh, sure. Totally. So, tell me, he invites you in and you spend the night doing what exactly? A kiss on the cheek before turning off the lights at nine on the dot so you can sleep on opposite sides of the bed with both hands above the covers?” Dew questions incredulously, with an oddly specific example. “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever fucking met, Swiss!”

Swiss winced at the volume of his voice, nervously eyeing the farmhouse standing silently as he gestured aggressively for him to shut the fuck up. Rain would be mortified if he knew the others were talking about him in this fashion.

“Love that Swiss thinks he can lie his way out of shit like this, as if you of all people don’t know what he looks like after a long night.” Cirrus snickers behind her hand and Dew suddenly looks appalled.

“Oh my fucking god it was one time!”

“It was a couple times actually-“

Like a thief in the night, Swiss uses their endless bickering as an excuse to slip away from their interrogation. He climbed into the backseat of his truck and rummaged under the passenger seat - working a job like this, he learned early on to keep a change of clothes on hand. It was awkward to say the least. He was not a dainty man and the back of his truck was far from spacious but he managed to climb out only having smashed his elbow into the window twice. Seemingly just in time. The crunch of gravel and the sharp squeaks of a poor suspension announced their arrival before the truck branded with an all too familiar logo rounded the bend.

His head snapped around alarmingly fast, met with mischievous grins from the both of them. He bristled. “Not a fucking word or I’m telling him to drug test you two.” Swiss hissed, both warning and threatening. Dew made a face, opening his mouth to retort but Cirrus was faster. Sticking out her tongue in his direction before grabbing him by the arm and leading him away to where they would pretend to work for the next two hours.

As they left him standing beside his truck, Swiss watched Rain’s father get out of the truck with clearly stiffened limbs. His throat felt tight as he looked his way, fearing that just maybe he knew but the man just regarded him with a curt nod and a gruff good morning, then headed inside.

Swiss wanted to close his head in the door of his truck, multiple times.

It was going to be a long fucking day.

Rain slipped out the back door an hour or so after lunch. Wearing exhaustion and semi untamed curls, a brand of disheveled he’d never sported before. He was off the schedule they’d taken to over the last few weeks. Swiss’ lunch break was a little before two, and it was currently well past. Swiss could sigh and huff all he liked about him sleeping in and shirking his fruit picking responsibilities, as well as what he’d woefully described as ‘kiss withdrawls’, but Rain truly couldn’t be faulted for sleeping in. His sheets smelled like warm tobacco and aftershave, a little bit like hay and whatever it was truly encompassed Swiss. It was hard for rain to leave in the morning, silently hoping it would linger until he got back that night.

“Rain! I’ve been looking for you!”

Rain whipped around. Confused to see Dew running up to him from the side field, brushing debris off of his overalls. They had never spoken before, at least not directly like this. Small quips and comments when he finds himself at Swiss’ side that sound like they’re meant to be digs directed at him despite the fact Dew barely acknowledged his presence.

“I’m sorry?”

“I think we should have a talk, can you come here for a minute?” Dew kicked some rocks and pursed his lips at rain who looked more than confused. He looked around for Swiss, to see if this was one of his shenanigans or could at least save him from whatever was happening.

Dew knew their routine. Knew exactly how to intersect Rain’s path before he could go attach himself to Swiss like an overgrown leech. It was almost too easy for him to find and stop him. If Rain had any more confidence in himself he would’ve told Dew to leave him alone, return the same disdain Dew had regarded him with from the start, but he was alarmingly forward. Grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him with surprising ease towards the tractor for a bit more privacy. Less of a chance they’d be interrupted.

Dew, and the other workers by extension were far from fond of him. Swiss was the outlier. Rain knew fighting him on this would cause nothing but trouble.

“Where are you going by the way? Thought you didn’t have to do your small share of work till later.” Whatever over sweetness he’d greeted him with dropped from his tone, borderline sneering at him instead.

“Dad asked me to check on one of the cows, said she looked in bad shape this morning.” Rain readjusted the bag on his shoulder, eyes flitting towards the field with a silent prayer that Swiss might just happen to pop up. Save him from whatever he’d walked into.

“Bullshit,” Dew barely stopped himself from laughing at his lie. “He would’ve mentioned it to us, not you.” Dew crossed his arms, leaning on the tractor. Casually and subtly blocking off Rain’s easy exit back to the yard.

“Ok…Then what do you think I’m doing?” Rain scoffed and rolled his eyes. This was dumb, they both had better things to be doing.

“Considering that brown paper sack in your hands, and the little birdie that talks about you in the barn, I’d say you’re bringing Swiss a snack for his break” it’s the slight flick of his eyes that answers the silent accusation.

“I don’t see how what I do with my time is any of your business” Rain's voice was almost entirely confident, almost. The faintest waver under his incredulous stare. It was hard to hold steady when someone as intense as Dew was interrogating him like he was caught about to do something downright sinister.

“Well I just think it’s funny how much time you spend with him. All of your breaks, sneaking out to go to the bonfire, spending the night?” He practically hissed his last point. “Thought your dad didn’t like you spending too much time with people like us. Weird, huh?”

“I’m not like that, I’m not my father.” Rain felt almost guilty as dew continued to stare at him like he was disgusted. Had he really been that bad? He didn’t think he was that much of a priss before Swiss came around.

“Oh you aren’t? Rain, all you do is sit on your throne and occasionally feed the animals or pick fruit for daddy’s approval. I’ve heard what he’s said, what you’ve said.”

His face, with whatever increasingly anxious expression he’d been sporting, fell instantly. Comments from his father over the years rooted in overworked frustration when profits didn’t balance out costs, when equipment turned up broken, when the work wasn't done to his standards. Blindly throwing blame on his workers. And Rain, a teenager vying for his parent’s approval, stupidly echoed the sentiment more than once and turned his nose up at them and the work they did. Even went out of his way to avoid the lot of them at the behest of his father.

“Dew, I’m sorry…I never-“

“All I’m saying is don’t fuck around and break Swiss’ heart just because you’ve decided to enjoy the attention from the peasants” Dew spat. His tone growing increasingly more frustrated as the months or years of indignation began to finally bubble to the surface.

“That’s not-“ A finger is held up before he can begin to explain himself, effectively shutting him up before he could stammer any further.

“Save it princess, I don’t want to hear it! I’m warning you to stop fucking around with him - Swiss doesn’t deserve to be some passing fancy till you’re able to go back to that prestigious university of yours.”

Rain opened his mouth and quickly closed it when he couldn’t manage any sound. Dread filled his stomach and began clawing its way up his throat. Choking him.

Is that really what they all thought of him? Is that what Swiss thought all of this was?

“You’re a smart guy, yeah? You should be smart enough to know not to cross this clear line in the sand that you and your dad drew a long time ago. Go back to your fucking tower and stay there.”

And as quickly as his tirade began, it ended with Dew turning on his heel and storming off with his fists clenched at his sides. He’d said more than enough for Rain to get the message; none of them wanted anything to do with him, Swiss just didn’t know it yet. They all harbored a level of resentment Rain hadn’t quite comprehended apparently.

Rain didn’t walk after him. Stays rooted in place watching Dew stalk off towards the fields until the vague shape of him becomes blurry. Tears burned in his eyes. All he could do was shrink into himself and return to the house where he promptly shoved the paper bag to the bottom of the trash can. At least there, he could pretend he’d never made it to begin with.

Was he stupid? He felt like an idiot for ever thinking he could really have something as genuine as this.

Heat radiated within his chest and made itself known in the form of blotchy redness in his cheeks. He retreated to his room, bag dropped steps in front of his door in order to throw himself onto his bed like a teenage girl with a broken heart. They weren’t anything and yet it felt like his rib cage was caving in. Guilt, shame, and humiliation danced inside him. Mingled into a single sensation that made his throat painfully tight.

Rain hiccuped over a half sob, shoving both pillows off the bed and onto the floor. He didn’t need the reminder. With both pillows out of the way, he was met with the cotton candy blue shark he’d stuffed into hiding the night before. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and pulled the plush against himself. Childish comforts.

Dew was right, telling him the things he was too selfish to acknowledge. None of them wanted him around, and maybe Swiss didn’t really either. Did Swiss only humor him because he was the boss’ son? Placate ‘the princess’ to keep his job. Dew was right. He didn’t deserve Swiss.

[hockeyboysimagines]

Love so sweet

Chapter 2

Warnings: Language, Angst, implied sex.

Chapter 2! Hopefully you guys like this as much as Chapter 1🤍

“Excuse me could you like get out of my way?”

Tabitha whipped around ready to tweak out on someone when she came face to face with Cole, and broke out in a smile instead. She let out a breath of relief, both because she was bursting with happier see him, and because it meant she wouldn’t have to cause a scene in public. Breakups put her in a foul mood and that usually meant some poor soul suffered because of it.

“Hi stranger.” She said accepting his hug. He gave her a squeeze and pulled back to look at her, hands still braced on her arms.

“How are you? I heard you guys broke up…again.” He said with a chuckle

She nodded, hands coming up to hold him by the elbows “What else is new right?”

“True.” He sighed and let go of her, and walking along side her as she continued to shop “You doing okay? We haven’t seen you in a bit.”

It was true. The last week or so had been especially tumultuous between she and Arber, and seeing them unfortunately hadn’t been in the cards. That was one of the worst parts of the constant fighting if she was being honest. She loved his teammates and his friends and most of all his family, but they were exactly that. His teammates, his friends, his family. Not hers. And if they really did ever break up for good she would have to expect to lose them as a part of her life.

But for now, she was fairly certain this was another temporary one.

At least she hoped. This breakup had been rough on both of them and she’d said a lot of things she didn’t mean, and thrown some accusations she couldn’t take back. She hoped Arber knew that she didn’t actually mean them, and it was something she said while in a heightened state, but it wasn’t an excuse. Her emotions felt out of control sometimes and she often said or did things she didn’t mean. At some point she had to pull herself together and start looking at things more level headed.

Maybe she needed therapy.

She nodded and tossed something in her cart “I’m okay I guess. Just been a rough week.”

“Tell me about it. He’s been a mess.”

She frowned “What’s that mean?”

“He just hasn’t been himself. Like more than normal. I hate when you guys fight.” He said frowning at her.

She sighed and nodded “That makes two of us.”

He picked something off a shelf and chucked it in her cart with a shrug “We may as well shop together. Let me tell you about your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore. Fuck this” she said air quoting, as Cole rolled his eyes and made a face “His words not mine.” She finished with a shrug.

“I know they are but you know that’s not for real right? I don’t get what you guys even fight about.”

“Everything basically anymore.” She said offhandedly “Something new to fight about everyday. This one was my fault though.”

“What happened anyways?”

“I-“ she said with a pause “Someone told me that Arber got some girls number when you guys went out the other night when I was working. I just kinda freaked out and here we are.”

“I see. He didn’t, just by the way. I’d tell you if he did.”

“I know that now. Unfortunately I didn’t ask before I yelled at him. Something I’ll have to remember for next time. Oops.” She felt a little embarrassed and glanced at Cole but he wasn’t judging her.

“I get it. But I can promise you he wouldn’t do that. You know that right? Arbers not like that.”

She nodded as they turned the aisle “I do but for some reason I keep doubting it. Maybe I’m crazy. Or maybe I’m just a bitch.” She said with a shrug.

“Nooooo your not.” Cole said with a small smile “I can see your hurting, and it’s any consolation he’s not doing any better. Seems sad.”

“It should make me feel better, but I don’t want him to be sad over me. I just want things to get better.”

Cole smiled a little and bumped her shoulder “And that’s why your so great. You gotta fix things though. Because he’s on the verge of committing a crime out on the ice.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes “He’s always on the verge of committing a crime on the ice. It’s adorable.” She said with a dreamy smile and then coughed to cover it up.

“See?” He said turning to her with a grin “That’s why you guys are perfect for eachother. Kirby asked him where you’ve been the other day and I thought he was going to punch him.”

“He would never punch Kirby.”

“Maybe not but he wanted to. You miss him?”

“Of course I miss him Cole. But if he wants to break up then it is what it is. I can’t make him change his mind. It’s not that simple.”

Cole was shaking his head “You could. All you have to do is call him.”

He was right. It didn’t take a lot to get Arber back and vice versa. Usually just a text or a phone call or even just showing up at his apartment did the job but she was always afraid to reach out just in case it was really over. She couldn’t take it if he told her it was the end, so she usually let him reach out unless she was feeling particularly brave.

As they made their way to checkout Cole updated her on the rest of the guys and how they were doing “They miss you. We went out the other day and they were hoping you’d come out with him. We didn’t know you guys were fighting though.”

“I heard. He was at my house.”

“I knew it!” He said pointing at her “ I knew he was there. He only cancels plans when he’s with you, and he hates going out. He said going out with you gives him anxiety.”

Tabitha chuckled “Yeah talk about him committing a crime.”

They chatted while they checked out and made their way out to the car.

He helped her load her stuff and turned to her, shutting her trunk.

“It was so good to see you.” Cole said as he hugged her, eyes closing and gave her an extra squeeze “Don’t be a stranger okay? Were your friends too.”

She felt her eyes start to water and blinked them away with a nod “I know. I will. Promise.”

He nodded and turned away but paused and glanced over his shoulder “I’ll tell him you said hello. Okay?”

She nodded, unable to speak and gave him a wave and slipped into her car just as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She hated this. She sniffled in the front seat and watched Cole back out and leave the lot as she collected herself. Her route back home took her directly past Arber’s apartment building, and she purposely looked straight ahead. She was always afraid during a breakup that she would drive by and see him with another girl, which was silly because she knew he was most likely with the guys or sulking in the living room.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding in as she made it through the light and the building disappeared from her view.

***********

“I saw Tabitha at the grocery store.” Cole said off handedly in the dressing room.

Arber paused and half turned “Yeah? And how was that.”

“She said she was so relieved you guys broke up because she’s always wanted to date me.”

“Haaaaaa.” He said making a face “Very funny.”

“I thought so. She misses you.” He said quietly.

Arber nodded “I know. She okay?”

He nodded “She says she is. She told me to tell you hello.”

He sighed and ran a hand over his face and shook his head “Did she say anything else?”

“Like what? Like she wants you to go to her apartment after practice and get her back?”

He rolled his eyes as Cole continued “If I say yes will you do it?”

“It’s not that simple.”

Cole cracked a smile and let out a huff “Funny she said the same thing. You two are wild man. If you can sit there and tell me that you don’t miss her then I’ll shutup.”

Arber shrugged “Of course I miss her. I don’t like fighting with her.”

“Then get it together and go fix it you idiot.”

“Don’t call me an idiot-“

“Then don’t act like one.” Cole said with a shrug “You miss her, go get her back. You know how easy it is.”

“What’s easy?” Slaf said sitting down next to him.

“Arber and Tabitha broke up.” Cole said eyeing him with a small smirk “But he’s going to go get her back right?”

“Again?” Kirby asked pulling off his helmet off “Why now?”

“Maybe you guys should just break up for good.” Nick said.

Kirby, who was closest, slapped his helmet out of his hand “Take that back. He can’t break up with Tabitha. We like her too much.”

“I agree, but this fighting can’t be healthy.”

Arber didn’t say anything while he listened to the the guys talk about him like he wasn’t there.

He hadn’t expected his teammates to take to Tabitha the way they did, and almost instantly. In a very short time they were always bugging him about bringing her along when he went places with them. She was so good with them, and so easy to talk to. They were a good group, and always respectful, but they could be silly and joke with Tabitha and she gave it right back. She could be one of the guys, and in the next minute be the picture of femininity. They loved her, and she loved them and the constant fighting put a wedge between that each time. It made him feel bad.

He kept most of the fighting and breakups to himself when it came to his parents. They had thankfully always been on good terms when they came to visit or when she came to visit and they had fallen in love with her maybe faster than he had. They raved about her night and day to anyone who would stand still long enough, always requesting she be available when they FaceTimed him. She had fit so seamlessly into his life it felt strange when she wasn’t there.

He hated it.

He didn’t say much for the rest of practice and as he left. He heard the guys calling him but he just wanted to go home and pity himself so he waved them off and made his way home.

He thought back to the first time he ever saw her.

The bar was loud and packed and all he wanted to do was go home.

He was tired, his knuckles hurt from the fight he’d been in, and the headache was unlike any other he’d experienced, but he’d been roped into coming out with them to celebrate the win. He was thinking about the best way to plan his exit when he glanced up to find a girl staring at him from across the bar.

He was fairly sure someone was talking to him but heard nothing.

She was beautiful, the prettiest girl he’d ever seen without question, but there was something else about her. Whatever it was, it had him up and out of his chair and making his way across the bar. The closer he got, the more he wished he hadn’t taken a single step but it was too late to back out now. If there was one thing Arber was not, it was easily intimidated, and yet here he was with sweaty hands and something that could only be described as nerves settling in his stomach.

And then she smiled at him.

“Hi.” She said leaning forward on the bar, as he came to stop next to her.

“Hi.”

“I’m Tabitha.” She extended a hand and grasped his, fingers stroking against his in the most pleasurable way.

“I’m Arber.”

“Arber? That’s not a name you hear everyday.”

He chuckled and leaned against the bar top, feeling a little more at ease “Tell me about it. You should hear my last name.”

She smiled “Tell me.”

But he shook his head “No. I’m gonna write it down and I want you to say it.”

He wrote his last name down on a napkin and slid it over to her so she could see it.

“Xhekaj?” She asked glancing at him.

His mouth fell open “You can pronounce that?”

“Yeah? It’s Albanian right?”

“Arbs what-Oh hi?” Cole was standing behind him and smiled at her but then turned back to Arber “Why are you writing your last name?”

“He didn’t think I’d be able to pronounce it.”

Arber turned and looked at him “She said it right on the first try.”

Cole’s mouth fell open “No shit? Are you Albanian?”

“No.” She said with a small laugh and a headshake “I just happen to watch a lot of Habs games at work.”

“Work” ended up being a sports bar and restaurant downtown, and Tabitha tore up his world like wildfire from that point on. Before he knew it she had poured like water into every facet of his life. Her love was overwhelming and smothering sometimes and in the very early months of their relationship he was so infatuated with her he didn’t know his left from his right. He’d felt feelings for girls before but never like this. Tabitha had become everything to him in a very short amount of time, and when his feelings that normally died down a bit didn’t change for her after 3 months he knew she was the one.

And everyone else knew it too, except maybe Tabitha herself.

Even with the way things were, if he could go back to that night he would still get up and approach her every single time. She had made his life better even with the fighting.

As a last resort he called his mom. She was the best listener he knew. She was privy to some of the fighting but not all of it. She had always tried to help him see things from Tabitha’s perspective as well as his own, and that helped sometimes. He never realized how things were for her until someone else told him and that made him feel stupid. He’d just assumed she was as blissfully happy all the time as he was and never thought for a minute that she could be struggling with outside influences polluting her brain. He felt like an ass and had promptly driven to her apartment with flowers, apologized and never forgot what his mom had said after that. The conversation was much the same this time. His mom agreed, that she hadn’t raised a cheater because of she had he wouldn’t be alive, but that you start to believe things when you hear them enough times. It made sense to him, but she also reinforced that he didn’t do anything wrong this time, which he knew of course and Tabitha probably did too. Things had clearly gotten lost in translation and out of hand. But she said it could be fixed. They talked for a while until she hung up, encouraging him to go talk to her and make things right.

He huffed and checked the time, before heaving himself up and grabbing his keys.

Arber had a strict rule of never listening to any of his teammates and their dumb ideas, but hearing his mom say it was more convincing which is how he found himself a short while later following Cole’s suggestion as he made his way down Tabitha’s street. Her porch light was on and her car was parked out front. He hadn’t expected her to be anywhere else, and even though he felt a little bad but he was also relieved to find that she was home. Though he’d said last night he could go out and pick up some girl, which he could, it would be a lot easier for her to do it. And if that happened, then he’d have to have to hurt someone. It was a lose lose.

He knocked three times and leaned on the doorframe with a small sigh, but also some relief. This was usually when things got better rather than worse, and he was glad that it was heading in that direction, hopeful she was in a good mood on the other side of the door. He could hear her shuffling around, and she looked surprised when she appeared and found him standing there. But she smiled apprehensively “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

He shrugged and smiled at her “Just thought maybe I wanted to see you is all.”

Her cheeks turned pink and she took a step back allowing him to walk past her inside. He sat on the sofa and looked at her expectantly as she hovered between the couch and the door.

“Come sit.” He said patting the spot next to him. When she did he reached forward and gripped her hand.

“Tabitha. Can we stop this please.”

She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze “I hate fighting with you Arber. It hurts more every time.”

“Then let’s just stop fighting. We fight over the dumbest stuff. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am not cheating on you. I have no intentions of cheating, it never even crossed my mind. I love you okay?”

She nodded as he continued “You've got to stop listening to other people and just ask me. Whoever is telling you that stuff is full of shit. Do you think if I was cheating on you my teammates would want me to be bringing you around all the time?”

She shrugged and looked at her lap “No.” she said quietly.

“And do you think that I would even be with you if I was out fucking around. I would just be out doing that while I was single. Come on. You know me better than that.”

She nodded “I know. I just feel so anxious all the time.”

“About?” He said leaning forward.

“That you might find someone better.”

“No.” He said with a smile and a shake of his head “I couldn’t even if I wanted to, which I don’t. I’ve told you this so many times and it hurts my feelings sometimes that you don’t believe me. I’m not trying to gaslight you, but I try so hard and I feel like it’s all pointless. I don’t know what else I can do for you Tabitha but if there’s something, tell me what it is and I’ll do it.”

Her lip trembled and she squeezed his hand “I love you.”

“I love you too. Come here.” He patted his knee and waited till she was situated before he rested a large hand on her knee “I’m not saying we’re never going to fight because we will. But in situations like this can you promise to at least talk to me before you rip my head off? If something bothering you just tell me what it is. Okay?”

She sniffled and nodded “Okay. I promise.” She leaned a head on his shoulder.

“Do you feel better? Not mad at me anymore?”

“I feel better.”

“Cuz if your still mad and you wanna take it out on me a little I’m game.”

She looked up and snorted out a laugh “I don’t wanna hurt you or anything.”

He held up a fist and smiled “You know I can take a punch.”

She rolled her eyes and wiped away the mascara from under them as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek “If I give you-“ he glanced at the clock “A half hour, think you can be ready to go out to dinner?”

She shrugged “Sure. I just have to fix my face a little.”

“Makeup.” He corrected “There’s nothing wrong with your face.”

“Okay I have to fix my makeup and change. Unless it’s acceptable to wear pajamas whenever it is we’re going.”

“It is not. You will also not be wearing those pajamas when we return home.”

************

Arber felt so much better in the following days, and it was reflected to everyone he knew. He was a little lighter, more talkative and smiled wider which is how the guys knew things were back to normal.

“So things are good again?” Slaf asked as they watched drills during practice.

“Yeah. Much better.”

“Good. Stop fighting. It’s dumb and you’re no fun when your fighting with her.”

“You definitely should fight with her when we play rivalry teams though. Just sayin.” Kirby said from his left.

“No I don’t think that I should. I’m not sure anyone’s ever been arrested for committing crimes on the ice and I don’t want to be the first. Imagine having to explain that to my mom.”

“Tabitha would bail your dumbass out.” Slaf said with a chuckle.

“No she wouldn’t. She’d commit another crime against whoever he committed one against. And then we’d have to alternate weekend visits. Like children of divorce.”

Arber chuckled “Well don’t worry. No divorce here. At least not today.”

*************

“So. Back with…him I see?” Jessica asked cooley, eyeing Tabitha over the table.

She rolled her eyes “Yes. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I wasn’t going to say-“

“You were. You always have something to say about me and Arber and I’ve heard it all before. So save your breath.”

“You know Tabitha. We’re just looking out for you.”

At first she’d really believed it. She really felt like her friends wanted her to be done with a ther because it was in her best interests. But now she felt like they nagged her about him all the time and it was getting real old real fast.

It was constant.

If they were complaining about them together, they were complaining about Arber himself and if they weren’t doing that they were fueling her paranoia about the rumors by adding to them. I heard Arber did this, I heard Arber did that blah blah blah. Tabitha was over it in a big way. She found herself hanging out with them less and less. They had noticed this of course and then claimed that he was “isolating” her because he was this big evil monster that had taken over her life and her happiness. But really it was just because they were awful. She could understand them not liking Arber at first. That first breakup followed a huge blowup of epic proportions that made Tabitha ugly cry for days. Understandable how they would be weary of him after that, and he agreed they had every right to feel that way. But it had been over a year now and they hadn’t even thought about giving him another chance. If they had, they would see that Tabitha was at fault for half of not more of their breakups and arguments. She’d tried her best to rehab his image, and he had at first too but finally he said he wasn’t going to try and make peace with people who didn’t want to make peace.

It just wouldn’t be worth it.

She’d even arranged “accidental” encounters put at the bar and still no such luck. They avoided Arber like the plague and he did the same to them. So Tabitha was left somewhere in the middle. It was funny though, that her friends couldn’t stop saying terrible things about Arber and he never brought them up unless she talked about them. Sometimes made her wonder who was really the terrible one in her life.

They didn’t say much else, and neither did Tabitha but she excused herself earlier than she needed to, so she could pick up Arber while her car was in The shop getting new tires.

She sat in the parking spot drinking her nails on the steering wheel, and ran her fingers over the cool leather with a small sigh.

She felt so much better now that things with Arber had settled and her stupid friends had ruined it. She always felt, no matter how things were with him, that the disappointment of her friends ruined every good patch. They made her feel so shitty about her relationship with him, even when things were fine. Their tone was always dripping in disappointment when they talked about him which was often.

It was mentally exhausting having to play middle man between them.

She did know however she felt much more mentally exhausted having to shield herself from their disappointment than it was to be with Arber.

She shook her head and looked at the clock. Arber would be home in 30 minutes.

That would make everything better.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 49 (Time to Move In Together?)

As autumn fell over Simlandia and turned the trees to vibrant shades of orange and red, Conrad stayed the weekend with Heather and her son in Brindleton Bay. He'd received word on his transfer but didn't mention it all weekend, afraid she still wasn't ready.

While they lazed in bed enjoying the quiet before Ash woke upstairs, he carefully broached his news with Heather on Sunday morning.

"My captain called me in on Friday," he said. "She said a job opened up at Brindleton PD, but it's a demotion. They asked me to start as a beat cop to get used to the area."

"You're probably ten times more experienced than any detectives in Brindleton Bay," argued Heather. "This place can't possibly have more crime than San Myshuno!"

They sat up, continuing their conversation on the edge of the bed. "Every other detective has more experience with the town than me, so it probably evens out," he countered. "I don't mind earning my stripes here if we're together...Are you ready to move in?"

There was a slight break in his voice. A real fear he'd scare her off.

Her palms itched. "Can I have a few days to think about it? Maybe make sure Ash is ready?"

Conrad offered a gentle smile. "Of course." He knew it was no small thing to commit to a single mother and her son, and Heather guarded her heart more than most.

He returned to San Myshuno after breakfast, and River's words played like a broken record in Heather's mind. He's your Cassandra. Perfect for you.

She sat down with her son to talk about Conrad, though he was still too young to understand the concept of moving in. "How would you feel if Conrad was here with us all the time? It wouldn't be just us and the cats, anymore. Conrad and Gord would be here, too."

"I like Conerd!" he beamed. "He stay my room?"

Heather smiled. "No, he'd stay in my room. With me."

"You share bed. I share toys!"

"So you're okay with Conrad and Gord moving in with us?"

"Conerd fun, Mommy. Gord soft! They moving now?"

"Not quite today, but soon."

Conrad was at the gym when his phone rang that afternoon. He stopped his workout when he saw Heather's name on the call display.

"I love you," she blurted awkwardly as soon as he'd said hello. "I'm sorry to just say it like that, but I do. And you should know because I'm ready. I want you to move in with me and Ash." She started talking a mile a minute to hide her nerves, in case he'd changed his mind since that morning. "I don't know how much notice you need to give or how much stuff you'll want to move, but we could probably get my family to-"

"Heather? Hey, Heather. I love you, too. It's going to be great."

Once Heather took the leap to voice her true feelings, her nerves evaporated. As she hung up, her heart brimmed with contentment. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

[ilona2nerrie]

Shattered bonds.

Chapters:

@hngryazn

@itsmeairix

@super-cold

Tagged:

1 – unfortunate circumstances.

Important info?

Everything you need to know will be unraveled in the story. I will not be saying who either’s past soulmate is, I’m just leaving it they/them so whatever you want in your ideas is fine, yeah.

And like always, I will be writing multiple chapters of this. This is not one-shot. If you want to be tagged in all the future work, just say in comments. If you have any ideas or things I should incorporate, please let me know! I love your engagement, and when someone asks to be tagged, or comments on things they like, my motivation just skyrockets. So, thank you all! And enjoy the first installment of the soulmate au!

(Btw, I normally have one of these in front of every story, it’s not a copy paster I just like talking. Sorry, but hey, at least it’s a bit different every time!)

Enjoy the story!

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When people are born, they get matched. From birth, people are assigned to a soulmate. But it doesn’t always work out, in rare cases.

Like Bruce’s soulmate. Bruces soulmate had committed a murder, had killed right in front of him. Bruce had never believed it was right to do anything like that. So, he left. And the soulmates bond shattered. A rare case but experienced by many.

Or when Clarks soulmate died in the destruction of Krypton. Clark was left without a soulmate on krypton, and without one when he arrived on earth. A different kind of shatter the bond could go through.

So, due to public questioning to this perfect system, was introduced the rematching.

Where, at the age of 21, those who had suffered a broken bond, got re-assigned a soulmate who had been through a shattering as well. A last chance sort of deal.

Most people were happy and relieved with this new update.

Bruce on the other hand? Bruce wasn’t here for it. He had been badly scorned by his last soulmate, and it didn’t help at all that now, at 21 he was expected to just roll with a new one being thrusted at him like benefits from a company trying not to get sued.

It just didn’t sit right for him.

Bur Clark? Honestly Clark was in conflict. His soulmate had died before he had even been old enough to talk, let alone remember what it felt like. He was excited and trepidations, wanting the experience. But scared of what it could bring.

Both were 21 when the re-match happened.

They were each given a notification, of a re-match being found. And they were both in the metropolis when it happened. Clark at his job, Bruce at an interview.

The notification hit Clark when he was talking with Lois. His phone had buzzed and Lois, seeking an opportunity to annoy Clark, had grabbed it and stared at the notification first. Clark barley looked up from his computer, giving a dejected sigh and glancing at her.

“So? What is it.”

“Uh- oh. Clark?

“What Lois?”

“Your re-match had been scheduled.”

At that, Clark dropped his pen and turned, then took the phone back and clicked the notification, wanting to confirm for himself. It indeed had matched him. With someone named Bruce, no last name listed. They had to meet in three hours, at some random coffee shop. And Clarks heart lurched. His first re-match. This was his first one of the years, and if this didn’t work, he only had the rest of the year to go before he was either matched, or un-matched, and he didn’t want that. He looked at Lois, who was just staring at him, hands propping her up from the side of her cubical.

“…. Clark, do you need me to cover your shift?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I need to get ready!” Clark had gotten up halfway through his sentence, grabbing his bag and coat and sprinting out. He had never had a soulmate before; he had no clue what to expect.

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Bruce was in a meeting with Lex when he had gotten the notification. He had left his phone off silent, it was on character for Bruce, and he didn’t respect Luthor enough to turn it off. He glanced at it and felt his heart stop. Then he felt his brain revolt. Nodding at whatever Lex was going on about, he subtly clicked on the notification under the table.

He looked at the profile he was given and had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

This man had put his full legal name, salary, job and place of work in his profile. What even. Was there anything he didn’t put on it? (Heh.)

“-so, Mr. Wayne, do we have a deal?” Bruce heard lex finish, offering his hand.

Bruce blinked the IQ out of his expression, staring at lex blankly.

“Oh, lex! That sounds excellent.” He smiled shaking his hand, then jolting as if he had remembered something. “Oh- I forgot, sorry, I don’t make financial decisions without Lucius, he says I have no eye for the stuff.”

Lex fade cracked for a second, before schooling it into a smile. Not schooling fast enough for Bruce to miss.

“Mr. Wayne. You can’t be serious, it’s your wealth. You’re in charge of your own wealth.”

Bruce stared behind the window at him blankly, before looking back at him and blinking.

“I’m in charge of my own what? Sorry Lex-y, zoned off there for a minute. What were we saying again?”

“…. Now I see why you need that man.” Lex muttered under his breath, Bruce heard and felt inwardly amused, he looked back at lex.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that. Everything ok Alex?”

Lex seemed to twitch at the use of his first name, thoroughly annoyed.

“I said you don’t need to worry about it! That, I can see you really trust that man.”

Bruce smiled at him, half desperate to call him out as a liar and punch his stupid face. The other part of him said that was a stupid, terrible idea. And to get a hold of himself. He loathed the man, and the first part was so much more appealing. But instead, he just nodded. “sent the paperwork through Lexi! I’ll sent it to Lucius and we can al work together. It’ll be a swell partnership, no?” Bruce asked.

Bruce knew there was no chance in hell Lex would actually send that contract. He’ll say he lost it in transit. That contract was clearly shady, and he’d call Lucuis up to ‘draw another contract’ about it, a semi-fair one. Lex was smart, if arrogant. He wasn’t going to risk scandal from an idiot.

“Any way Alexander, I must be off! Unfortunately, I have another engagement! Fare-well.” He said happily and walked off before Lex even continued. He smiled until he got into the car, closing the door and just flopping onto his face on the seat.

“Home sir?” Alfred asked, looking back at him.

“Can’t Alfie.” Bruce groaned into the seat, flopping onto his back and looking at the older man. “I’ve been re-matched, I’ve got a stupid date in an hour, for the coffee shop we passed on the way here. The one I said looked like a stereotypical romance? Yeah. Lady time has a sense of humor.”

“that’s good sir, you need to get out more. I’m afraid you’re becoming a recluse.” Alfred said, starting the car and heading towards the Coffee shop. Bruce gave him a halfhearted glare, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.

“This is going to suck.”

[winchesterwild78]

Behind the Scenes pt 6

Master List 

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: Tension, FLUF, pregnancy hormones, insecurities, childbirth, emergency situation, possible death of a character. (sorry) 

A/N: You are newly hired on Supernatural. Your character was supposed to be one and done but the fans loved you so they wrote you in the story. You were supposed to play Sam’s love interest, but things get complicated when you fall for someone behind the scenes. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, with a slight time jump

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes 

This is my original work, do not take it. 

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About an hour later it was dark in the room but you heard the door open softly. You yawned and stretched but didn’t get up. You placed your hand on your belly and rubbed it. You love Jensen and your little family, and maybe you were being a little hormonal. You knew he loved you and wanted a life with you. He’d given you a little boy and an incredible life so far. He was committed to you and you were committed to him, so who cares if you get married. 

As you sat up the lamp turned on and standing there was Jensen. He bent down and kissed your forehead and your belly. “Hey sweetheart. Did you have a nice nap?” You smiled and nodded. He sat on the bed beside you “Sweetheart, I’m sorry if I hurt you earlier. It was not my intention. I didn’t mean what I said. I wasn’t prepared for them to start asking about us getting married. I want to marry you, hell I’d marry you right now if you wanted. I just didn’t want to give them an answer without having talked to you. We’ve never actually sat down and talked about marriage.”

“I know Jensen, and that makes sense. This has been a whirlwind relationship that went from not wanting to be together, to having a baby together in a matter of months. I know we haven’t talked about marriage, but I would love nothing more than to marry you. A big wedding, a small wedding, or just at the courthouse. I don’t care as long as I am marrying you.” “I agree with most of that sweetheart, but you’re not getting married at the courthouse. You deserve better than that.” Jensen leaned over and kissed your lips. 

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you up, get some food and get you ready for your photo-ops. I’ve already arranged for a chair for you, in case you get tired.” He helped you get up and you kissed him. “Thank you baby. Always taking such good care of me and this little one.” You rubbed your belly. 

*Time Jump-1 ½ months*

Jensen helped you up from the exam table as the doctor finished checking the baby. “Everything looks great. I want to see you back next week. We are in the home stretch. If anything feels strange or you have any questions don’t hesitate to call me. I don’t care what time it is.” You smiled and thanked the doctor. “Are you ready to go home sweetheart?” Jensen asked as he helped you down. “Yep, we need some food and a nap.” You chuckled and rubbed your belly. 

As the two of you walked out of the doctor’s office a fan approached the two of you on the street. She looked to be in her mid 30s, tall, redhead and beautiful. “Um, excuse me Jensen. Can I get a picture with you?” Jensen smiled and said yes. He put his arm around her and snapped the picture. She was smiling and started chatting with him. Jensen being the sweet man he is was engaged in the conversation with her. You noticed how she kept touching his arm and giggling at everything he said. She definitely was flirting and didn’t try to hide it. 

You walked up to them and touched Jensen’s arm, “Honey, we really should be going. He’s getting hungry.” You smiled softly at Jensen. The woman was more than irritated that you interrupted her. “We were just chatting, we will only be a few more minutes. You can go sit in the car if you’re too tired to stand.” Your jaw hit the ground. Before you could say anything Jensen stepped toward you and put his arm around your waist. “Ma’am, I appreciate you being a fan and wanting to chat with me, but please don’t dismiss her. That’s rude and unacceptable. I hope you have a great day, now if you will please excuse me I need to get her and my son home.” 

The two of you walked away and the woman’s mouth was on the ground. “Jens, you didn’t have to leave or say that to her.” “Yes I did. What kind of man, father would I be if I allowed someone to dismiss you when you needed something. You and our son will always be my top priority. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, if either of you need anything I will be right there.” 

Tears filled your eyes and you placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Jensen. I love you.” “I love you too, darlin, more than you know.”

The two of you made your way to your favorite BBQ place and grabbed some food to go. You were starving and couldn’t decide what to order. Jensen chuckled and said he’d order a family meal so you could pick what you wanted when you got home. You smiled and thanked him. He rubbed your growing belly and smiled from ear to ear. Jensen couldn’t keep his hands off your belly. He was so in love with you and he was in awe of your strength during the pregnancy. 

Once the two of you got home you kicked off your shoes and sat on the couch. Jensen set out the food and offered to make you a plate. “Nope, I’ve got it. Thank you though.” You told him as you attempted to get off the couch. You struggled and grunted, getting frustrated. Jensen watched from the kitchen and chuckled softly. Need some help there sweetheart?” He asked. You stuck out your bottom lip, pouting and said “yes”. He laughed and walked over helping you get up. 

As you stood your belly bumped into his body. You turned to the side and stood on your toes to kiss him. “Thank you honey.” He smiled and nodded. You grabbed a plate and got a little bit of everything and sat at the table. Jensen sat across from you and chuckled as he watched you dance a little while you ate. He always found you adorable when you would dance a little when you ate something good. 

You saw him looking at you and smiling. “What’s so funny, babe?” “You are, you’re adorable, you know that. I hope our son dances when he eats.” You rolled your eyes and kept eating. Once you were finished eating you stood and put your plate in the dishwasher. You yawned a little. “Come on darlin’, let’s get you to the bed to rest.” Jensen helped you up the stairs towards your shared bedroom. 

On the way to the bedroom you stopped and looked at the nursery. Jensen had been working hard to get the nursery ready and help ease your mind. Making sure everything was ready for the baby. Since he found out you were pregnant he’s been incredible. 

Jensen saw you smiling and he wrapped his arms around you. “Thank you, Jens. It’s perfect and he’s going to love it.” You kissed his lips. “Anything for you and him, baby.” He rubbed your belly. “Now, let’s get you to bed.” You nodded and started to walk to the room.

Once in the room you climbed in the bed and laid on your side. Jensen climbed in beside you and faced you. “You are so beautiful.” Jensen smiled. You blushed. “Let me hold you baby. Turn over, please.” Jensen motioned. You turned to your side and Jensen slid up behind you. You nestled back into his chest and felt his arm snake around your waist. He held your belly, feeling your son move around. He sighed softly.

This was the life he wanted. To lay beside you, holding you and his son. Peaceful, comfortable, so full of love, and happy. It wasn’t long before your eyes got heavy and you fell asleep. Jensen laid beside you listening to your soft snores. He smiled listening to you and holding your belly. Jensen eventually got up, slipping out of bed trying not to disturb you. 

He walked downstairs and cleaned up lunch. He sent Jared a text to let him know how the appointment went and to get one of his pep talks about being a dad. Jensen was over the moon excited, but he was nervous too. Jared told him the feelings he was having were normal and he was going to be an incredible father. He didn’t want to worry you with his insecurities, so he was thankful he had Jared to talk to. 

You woke up a few hours later and got out of bed. You walked in the bathroom to pee and as you took your pants down a rush of warm liquid rushed out. “Shit! I peed myself.” You said out loud. Frustrated, you started to clean up yourself and the floor. You got on dry clothes and started to walk downstairs. As you walked you kept feeling liquid coming out. 

You quickly realized your water broke. Calmly walking downstairs you walked over to Jensen who was sitting on the couch on his computer. “Hey sweetheart, enjoy your nap?” He looked up. He saw the look on your face and immediately jumped up. “What’s wrong?” “Um, my water broke. I think we need to go to the hospital.” 

Jensen grabbed his shoes, your hospital bag, and his keys. He helped you to the car and helped you in. “Text Jared and Gen and let them know, please. Text your parents and mine too. Tell them I’ll pay for a plane ticket so they can be here.” Jensen said as he drove towards the hospital. You called your doctor and she said she’d meet you at the hospital. Jared, your parents and Jenen’s all said they would come to the hospital. Your parents were hoping on the next available plane. 

Pulling up to the hospital, Jensen jumped out and ran inside to get a wheelchair and a nurse. He returned and helped you into the chair. Your contractions had started shortly after your water broke and you could tell they were getting stronger. “It’s okay Y/N, just breathe. You’ve got this baby.” You could tell he was slightly panicking. “Jens, honey, it’s going to be okay. Look at me baby.” You grabbed his hand trying to reassure him. 

Once in the room you were prepped and the doctor came in to check you. “How are you feeling, Y/N?” “Okay, the contractions are getting stronger and it hurts like hell.” “That’s to be expected. We can give you something for the pain if you want.” “Doc, is everything okay with the baby? Isn’t it too early?” Jensen asked. “It is a little early according to her due date, but rest assured your baby is measuring good and doesn’t appear to be in distress. We could have miscalculated the due date, or he might just simply be a little impatient.” She chuckled. You giggled “Can’t imagine where he gets that from.” Jensen kissed your forehead and smiled at you. “I think I know, maybe his mama.”

Several hours passed and your labor progressed. Jensen had stepped out of the room to update the family that was waiting in the waiting room. Your parents, his, Jared and Gen were waiting. “Guys, I don’t know how long this is going to be. Why don’t y'all just head to the house and I’ll call you when he’s here. Mom, dad, Mr & Mrs. Y/L/N, we have the guest rooms set up for you already. There should be extra towels in the bathrooms. Feel free to make yourselves at home.” Jensen hugged everyone and went back in the room to check on you.

You had finally fallen asleep and he stood at the door looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. Seeing you laying there in the bed, getting ready to have his son made his heart swell. A twinge of guilt crept in when he thought about how he hadn’t asked you to marry him yet. Here you were, carrying his son, giving him the most precious gift there was and he hadn’t done something he’d wanted to do since the day he met you. 

He had an idea and sent Jared a text asking to help him out. He was more than eager to help. You woke up seeing Jensen smiling while on his phone. “What’s got you smiling like that?’ You asked him softly. “Just talking to Jared and he’s being his encouraging self. You know how sappy he is.” Jensen stood up and walked over, kissing you on the lips. Another contraction hit and he held your hand helping you breathe through it. The pain was so bad.

The nurse came in about 15 minutes later to check your progress. “How are you feeling?” “Um, honestly not good. I’m hurting really bad. I know labor isn’t supposed to be easy, but something just feels off.” You told her hesitantly. “Okay, let’s check you out.” She lifted the sheet, put on a glove and checked you. When she went to check you, you screamed in pain. Jensen’s eyes went wide. “What the fuck are you doing to her?!?” he demanded. 

The nurse went almost pale and said she’d be back. Jensen looked nervous. “What’s wrong Jens? What did you see?” “Let’s wait for the doctor.” Jensen said without looking directly at you. His eyes on the fetal monitor. The doctor came in quickly and lifted the sheet. She didn’t touch you and looked between you and Jensen. 

“Okay, Y/N. Looks like the little guy is in a little bit of distress so we need to get him out ASAP. We are going to wheel you in for an emergency c-section. Mr. Ackles, if you could follow the nurse we will get you ready to go in the operating room with us.” He started to protest, the doctor put her hand on his shoulder and said quietly, “Mr. Ackles, she is hemorrhaging. If we don’t get him out now they both will die. I will do everything I can to save them both. Right now I need you to go get ready so I can get her ready. I need you to be calm so she can stay calm. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?” Jensen shook his head with tears in his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll see you soon baby.” “I love you too, Jensen.” The doctor and nurses hurried around you and wheeled you down the hall. You were terrified. “Please tell me what’s going on. Is my baby okay?” You asked as you started to cry. The gurney stopped and a drape was put up. An oxygen mask was put on you and you could feel your bottom half going numb. You closed your eyes praying to whatever god was listening that your baby would be okay. Tears fell out of the corners of your eyes.

You felt Jensen’s fingers wipe them away. He kissed your forehead. “Hey baby. You’re okay. They are going to take good care of you.” He spoke so calmly. “Jens, what’s wrong with the baby?” You sobbed. “Shhh, it’s okay baby. The doctor said everything is okay. You’re just bleeding and they need to get him out.” You felt pressure and pulling in your abdomen. You couldn’t see anything and you heard the doctors and nurses talking softly. “Time: 22:35.” You heard them say. You felt woozy. “Jens…I…” Your eyes started to close and you thought you heard the faint cry of a baby. Then you heard and felt nothing.

Jensen looked over and saw his son. He was crying and had a good set of lungs. As he turned back to you he heard alarms going off. Before he could ask what was going on the nurse was ushering him out of the room. “Mr. Ackles, you’re going to have to step outside.” She gently pushed him out the door. “What’s going on, please tell me!” He shouted. 

The nurse closed the door leaving Jensen in the hallway. He heard a commotion inside the room and then “code blue, operating room 3.” Jensen looked up above the door and saw the number 3. He collapsed against the wall and hit the ground. He was in a daze and had no idea how he dialed his phone. On instinct he called Jared. 

“Hey man, am I an uncle yet? (silence) Jensen, buddy you there? (silence) Jensen, man what’s wrong?” “Jar, there was a complication. Baby is fine but…” Jensen sobbed and dropped his phone. Jared hung up and told Gen what happened. On their way out the door Gen called Jensen’s parents and told them. They and your parents got in the car and headed to the hospital. 

By the time Jared got to Jensen he was still on the floor sobbing. No updates had been given yet. Jared’s heart broke when he saw Jensen. “Come on man. Let’s get you in the waiting room.” Jared tried to get his friend up but Jensen pushed back. “No! What if they need me? What if she needs me?” “Jensen, come on. They will find you. Let’s get you in the waiting room. I’ll get you a coffee.” “I don’t want a fucking coffee. I want her to be okay! I want to tell her how much I love her and how much I want to marry her. Damn it! Why didn’t I ask her already?! Now she’s gone and I can’t ask her. How is our son going to know what an amazing mother he had?! I can’t do this without her, Jared!” Jensen collapsed in Jared’s arms sobbing. 

He walked his friend to the waiting room and when Jensen’s mom and your mom saw him they both broke down. They ran to his side and threw their arms around him. Holding him up as they sobbed. 

Hours passed and there still weren’t any updates. Jared started to get antsy. “Gen, surely they can tell us something.” She nodded and got up, approaching the desk. “Excuse me ma’am. I need to check on my sister, Y/N Y/L/N. She had an emergency c-section and we haven’t heard anything else since they made her fiancé leave the room.” Gen flashed her sweet smile and the nurse at the desk told her she would check. The nurse came back and spoke softly “The baby is okay, he’s being evaluated and should be able to see dad soon. Miss Y/L/N, coded several times on the table and was given a lot of blood. I’m trying to get a doctor to come out and give you more information. I’m sorry I don’t have anything else.” Gen thanked her and walked away.

“Jar, she said the baby is okay and Jensen should be able to see him soon. Y/N coded several times and lost a lot of blood. She’s getting the doctor to come out here and tell us more. Just then your doctor approached Jensen looking solemn. Jensen sprang to his feet and everyone gathered around him. “How is she, doctor? How’s my son?” He asked softly. 

Your baby boy is perfectly healthy. We wanted to keep him in the NICU for a few hours to evaluate him, but he’s doing great. You can see him in a minute. He weighed 7lbs and 5 oz, and was 21” long.” Jared grabbed Jensen’s shoulder. “How’s Y/N?” his breath hitched. “She hemorrhaged and lost a lot of blood. She coded on the table 4 times. We were able to revive her, we’ve given her blood and now we have to wait. She’s stable at the moment, but not out of the woods yet. Her placenta detached, which caused the bleeding. The next 24-48 hours will be the hardest. She can have visitors, but one at a time. I will warn you, she’s very pale and we had to intubate her. She’s not awake. You’ve got yourself a tough woman there, Mr. Ackles. From the amount of blood and the length of the tear, it would seem her placenta detached a while before we found it. She had to be in serious pain. Now, let’s get you to your son.” 

Jensen’s dad thanked the doctor and everyone hugged Jensen. “Go see your son. We will be here waiting for you.” Jensen walked with the doctor to the NICU. She walked him over to the crib his son was in. He was sleeping peacefully. “Go ahead, you can pick him up.” She said smiling. Jensen carefully picked up his son and his heart filled with so much love and joy. A tear slipped down his cheek. “Hey little guy. It’s me, Daddy. Welcome to the world. You definitely gave mommy and me a little scare, but we are so glad you’re here now.” 

The doctor told Jensen he could take his son to meet the family if he wanted to. He nodded enthusiastically. He cradled his son in his strong arms and walked to their waiting family. When they saw Jensen they were on their feet. Pictures were taken, oohs and awws were exchanged. Jensen beamed with pride. There was a heavy sadness in their air as everyone kept thinking about you. “Well Jensen, did you two pick out a name yet?” His dad asked. “We did. I would like to introduce you to Tristan Dmitri Ackles.” It took Jared a minute to realize you and Jensen named your son after him. 

“Wow, man. I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you named him after me and Misha.” Jared hugged him. “Can I hold him?” Jared asked. Jensen smiled and handed the baby to Jared. Tears fell down Jared’s face. Jared beamed with pride. He handed the baby back to Jensen. “I need to get this little guy back so I can check on his mama.Y’all go home and I’ll call you if I need anything or if anything changes” Jensen’s mom kissed his forehead and your mom hugged him. “Tell our girl we love her.” she said softly. Jensen nodded and left. 

After taking the baby back to the nursery the nurse led him to your room. He took a deep breath before walking inside. His breath hitched when he saw you. You were hooked up to all these monitors and you had a tube down your throat. You were very pale. He pulled a chair beside your bed and sat down holding your hand. “I’m here baby. Our son is absolutely beautiful. He looks just like you, except he has my eyes. I know you’re happy about that. He’s perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes. You did amazing baby. Now I need you to keep fighting. Come back to us. We need you, he needs you, I need you! I love you so much, baby. Please don’t leave me.”

Jensen silently sobbed while he held your hand. He focused on your chest rising and falling and the steady sound of the machine beeping. As long as he saw that and heard the beeps he knew you were still here. 

A few hours later Jensen was still watching you in silence. The nurses would come in and check on you and ask him if he needed anything. He always politely declined, saying he didn’t need anything. They would bring Tristan in so Jensen could hold him and feed him. They also thought it would help you if you heard him or felt him close. Jensen took very good care of Tristan and found the moments he spent with him to be some of the happiest he had. When it was time for him to go back to the nursery, Jensen took back up his post of watching you. 

Exhaustion finally got the better of Jensen and he laid his head down on the side of your bed and fell asleep. He was startled awake by the sounds of the alarms going off and the nurses rushing in. “Mr. Ackles, we need you to step outside.” “No! Fuck that! Last time I did I didn’t hear anything for hours.” He yelled. “Sir, please, you don't want to see this.” Jensen froze in his spot and couldn’t move. He looked at the monitor and your heart had stopped. “No! Not again, please! Y/N, don’t leave me! Please!” Jensen sobbed as a male nurse was removing him from the room. Jensen tried to push his way back into the room but the nurse stopped him. “Mr. Ackles, please let us do our job. We need you out of there so we can try to save her.” He stood his ground refusing to let Jensen through. Jensen collapsed “Please, she’s everything to me. You have to save her. Please. I’ll give you anything, do anything. Please just save her.” Jensen sobbed. 

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[valeelavvale]

Legacy - Chapter 25 - Time

Pairing: Fernando Alonso / OFC (Original Character)

Legacy: Summary - All the chapters

Ao3 - Wattpad - or read below

Note: If you're interested in being added to a tag-list for this Fanfiction please leave a comment

Tag-list: @louiseeswiftie

Summary of the chapter: In Bahrain for pre-season testing, Olivia meets Lewis, who confides he wants to ask Alice to move in. Their heartfelt conversation explores love, fear, and commitment in the chaotic world of Formula 1. Olivia encourages him, reflecting on her own past with Fernando. A flashback to 2005 shows the beginning of Olivia and Fernando’s life together, when moving in felt like the most natural step. Back in the present, Lewis finds the courage to ask Alice—who says yes with joy and laughter, ready to build a home with him.

Summary of the fanfic: Fernando Alonso has been married for over fifteen years with his beloved Olivia. Now in 2025 he is ready for a new season in Formula 1 and, this year too, he will have his family by his side. His daughter Amanda will start her career in Formula 3 and, while her adventure has just begun, her father's is coming to an end, and Fernando will have to deal with changes and the passage of time. His relationship with his wife will go through a lot of challanges and crisis but will they be able to work everything out in the end?

Warnings and Notes:  This is my first work in English, be kind. Of course, I don't know any of the characters in this story, I'm just a fan with too many ideas in her head who needed to put them down in a story.However, the original characters are my own creation!I imagined Olivia as Candice Swanepoel, Amanda as a young Amanda Bynes and Veronica as a young Camila Mendes. Alice, Lewis' girlfriend is Irina Shayk.

When Lewis called to ask if he could talk to her, it meant there was something big—really big—going on.

They were in Bahrain for pre-season testing, back there just like the previous year.

Lewis had texted her saying he’d finished his session and asked to meet in his driver room.

Olivia would’ve preferred to stay in the Aston garage. Fernando was about to do his first laps with the new car after the accident, and that terrified her.

He’d already done a few practice laps at Silverstone in last year’s car and everything had gone well, but knowing he was back on track after what had happened last year didn’t make her feel at ease.

Probably not watching every corner he took just millimeters from the wall and not seeing the speeds he would hit trying to push his new toy to the limit would be better. So, she made her way to the Ferrari garage.

She might’ve been the wife of the enemy, but everyone knew her, and they let her in without much fuss, pointing her to Lewis’s room.

Olivia knocked and stepped in shortly after.

“Here I am. How did the first laps go?” she asked, seeing him lacing up his shoes on the small couch.

“Pretty well, actually. I’ve got a better feeling than last year,” he said with a smile.

Olivia looked at him. “Why do I get the feeling you don’t actually want to talk about the SF26?” she teased, grabbing a bottle of water and sitting on the desk.

Lewis cleared his throat, opened his mouth to speak—but didn’t.

“Should I be scared?” Olivia asked, a little wary.

He sighed again. “I think I want to ask Alice to move in with me…” he finally said, hesitating.

“Ohhh shit,” Olivia laughed, clapping her hands. “Okay, I’ll be serious,” she added, seeing Lewis’s expression. “That’s amazing, and I think…”

“…that it’s madness since we’ve only been together six months?” he cut in.

“Noooo,” she said. “I think it’s fantastic,” and she meant it.

“I’ve been thinking about it for days. Part of me thinks it’s insanely reckless and the other…” He shrugged. “…the other wants it desperately.”

“You really expect me to be the wise one who tells you to take it slow? You do remember how long it took me to move in with Fernando or marry him, right?”

“Yeah, you’re supposed to be my conscience…”

“We both know you’re the sensible one between us,” she joked.

“You’re wise—you’re a mom,” he replied as if that proved his point, and Olivia burst out laughing.

“Lewis, you’re both at an age where this makes sense. You travel the world for work, and at least when you’re home, you should be together—not just visiting each other. It should be your home,” she said honestly. “I support this decision for a million reasons, and the first and most important is that you love her. A lot. So much that I don’t even think you realize how much you’ve brought her into your life in just a few months.”

“What if I scare her? She’s not part of this circus—we live totally different lives…”

“But she fell in love with you. She knows what you do, and she has at least an idea of what your life is like. And if I may, it’s better she really sees what living in your world is like now. She needs to get used to it and figure out if it’s what she wants…” Liv said.

“I’m not going to be a driver for twenty more years—it’s not like with you and Fernando…” he objected.

“You really think you’re just going to walk away from Formula 1 when you retire? Please. You’ll work for a team, probably start your own. You’re the classic F1 lifer,” she teased. “Unfortunately, I’ve got experience with men who live and breathe Formula 1…”

“And it’s not exactly an easy life, is it?”

“No, it’s not. You guys have a job that’s nearly impossible to keep up with. There are tons of sacrifices, and you know better than anyone how hard it is to make a family fit with this crazy sport. But I’m still here. The marriage is still standing, and we have a family. And even if it’s tough, I made it work. You will too.”

“What if I’ve finally reached that point too?” he asked, and Olivia looked at him puzzled. “The ‘this is the love of my life’ point… the one you’ve been making me put up with for twenty years…” he laughed.

“I hope so,” she laughed with him. “It’s a beautiful thing, Lewis. Having a home together. I remember, you know? When we moved in. It wasn’t his place or mine, no more suitcases everywhere, no more stuff scattered across two bathrooms. It was... coming home. Always. Knowing the place you return to is never empty, not even when the other person isn’t physically there…” she continued. “Also, Roscoe needs someone to spoil him less than you do. He needs a mother,” she added playfully.

“Roscoe likes Alice more than me lately, and I’m jealous,” he joked.

“Can you blame him? Alice is a knockout,” Olivia laughed. “You have to do it. No question.”

“I will. In three days, I’ll ask her,” he said, confident.

* * * 

July 2005

Olivia: Babe, I can’t find the iPod—could it be at your place? Can you check the nightstand? Actually, the drawer? Fernando: It’s not there. You’ve got like four books in that drawer... six hand creams and two pairs of glasses. Olivia: The bathroom? Fernando: Nope. But if you’re curious, there are thirteen lipsticks—I counted—and eight perfume bottles. Olivia: Are you saying I leave too much of my stuff around your place? Fernando: Honestly, I kind of like it. Fernando: Anyway, the iPod was in the kitchen. Olivia: Ahhh right… Thanks, babe.

Olivia had been in Italy visiting her family. Fernando had just picked her up at the airport and they were stepping into his apartment.

“So, you’ll be happy to know that my dad’s right-hand man has found the perfect girl, so he won’t try to marry me off to him anymore,” she joked. “In fact, they asked if you’d come with me next time,” she added with a smile. “I think Nance has a thing for you…” she whispered, amused.

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or terrified,” Fernando replied, following her into the kitchen as Olivia grabbed a drink.

“I hope I left the dress I need for tonight’s dinner here. But the shoes are definitely at my place—I’ll have to pop over and get them,” she said, sipping her water. “It’s getting a bit… complicated, juggling two homes,” she admitted.

She’d been thinking about it the whole flight back—about asking him to move in together.

They were only twenty-four, and they’d been dating eight or nine months, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in her own bed without him.

Still, she worried it was too soon to bring it up, maybe way too soon for Fernando. So in the end, she’d decided to avoid the topic.

“Maybe today I’ll pick up some of my stuff from your place and bring it back to mine.”

“Why?” he asked, looking up from his phone.

“Because my stuff’s everywhere, Fer. I couldn’t even find my laptop the other day.”

“Bring everything here,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “We never go to your place. Your roommates complain we’re too loud anyway,” he added with a smirk.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that… too much?” she asked. “I mean, I thought about it but…”

“…too much what? You’ve basically lived here since we got together. Should it scare me?” he smiled. “That you’ve colonized my apartment?”

“Maybe it should a little,” she replied, half-laughing. “Are you serious or just saying that without thinking?”

“I’m serious. You’re not the only one who thought about it. I spent a week alone here and it became really clear that this isn’t my place anymore—it’s ours, because your stuff’s everywhere and I hated being here without you,” he said without his usual ironic tone. “Of course, now that your dad’s finally starting to accept me, telling him you’re moving in might send us back to square one…” he laughed as Olivia went to hug him.

“I’m messy…”

“…I know. So am I…”

“…and invasive…”

“…incredibly…”

“…I hate that print in the bedroom…”

“…I know. We can get rid of it…”

“…I need a closet for my clothes…”

“…I ordered one Monday. It arrives tomorrow.”

Fernando was cut off by a kiss—one of those kisses that kept convincing him no one else in the world could compare to her.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too… and I want you to live here,” he said, holding her tight.

And she wanted that too. So badly.

* * *

Lewis had returned to Monaco after three days of testing. Still jet-lagged, the first thing he did was text Alice asking when her hospital shift would end. He wanted her to come over—he needed to see her.

His head was a mess, his stomach tight, but he was sure: he wanted to ask her to move in.

He’d thought a lot about it since talking to Liv and had realized he couldn’t keep holding back—he had to go for it.

Alice arrived around seven. The wine was already open, dinner ready—Lewis never cooked, of course—and the chef had already left, per his instructions.

“Hey baby,” Alice said, stepping in. “What a horrible day. Paperwork, bureaucracy, nothing interesting,” she sighed, kicking off her shoes and dropping her bag before kissing him. “There you are,” she smiled. “Jet-lagged to hell?”

“Pretty much,” he laughed, running his hand down her back. “But I’m happy. The car’s fast,” he said, handing her a glass of wine.

“I missed you. And now the season starts—it’ll be the first one I get to live from the start,” she said, sitting on a stool.

“Does it scare you?” he asked.

“Three-day road trips every week?” she laughed. “A little, but we’ll get used to it.”

Lewis looked at her. He had no idea how to begin.

Alice tilted her head. “What is it?” she asked. “You’re acting weird. And not just jet-lag weird—the kind I like, the one where where I talk and you don’t listen,” she teased.

“No, it’s just… I was thinking. This life, all the travel, it’s not easy. We never see each other.”

“Well, I’ve scheduled all my leave days. I’ve got lots of free weekends—I can come with you,” she said with a smile.

“What if you were here when I got back?”

“I am here. My job barely ever takes me out of Monte Carlo.”

“I mean here. In this apartment,” he clarified, and Alice stared at him, stunned. “I know your life is already set—you’ve got a beautiful home. I’m not asking you to upend it all for me…”

“…Are you asking me to move in with you?” she interrupted with a teasing grin. Lewis Hamilton looked nervous—his usual cool nowhere in sight—and it was adorable.

He nodded. “I think I am,” he said, setting down his glass.

“And you’re nervous because you think I’d say no to living with the man I love in a giant penthouse with a pool?” she teased again. “You really think that’s a possible outcome?”

“How would I know? You’re weird—you crack open people’s skulls for a living,” he teased back.

“Lewis, I’m moving in tonight,” she said. “Like, now. I’m going to tell Roscoe I’m the new roommate and that’s it—I’m in.”

He stepped closer, half in awe, half terrified, completely in love.

“I’ll warn him. He’s territorial and jealous. Might not take it well,” he said, cupping her face and kissing her.

“He’ll have to adjust,” she smiled. “You know the joke about the house is just a joke, right? I mean, yeah—it’s an insane place—but I’m not coming here for that. Okay, maybe a little for the hot tub. But you’re a very close second,” she added playfully.

Lewis laughed, kissing her again. And again. And again.

“I love you,” he said, still laughing.

“Me too,” she replied. “Amanda’s going to be jealous.”

“I’ll deal with Amanda…” he said as she stole another kiss.

“One last thing…” she whispered. “Take me to our bed. Now,” she said with a grin.

And Lewis didn’t need to be told twice.

-

Fernando was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out, eyes fixed on a documentary in the background that he probably wasn’t really watching. Olivia walked out of the kitchen with two mugs in her hands and handed him one without a word.

“It’s chamomile,” she said.

“So you think I need to calm down?” Fernando asked, amused.

“No, I just think you’re getting old and caffeine after nine would kill you,” she replied with an adorable little smirk.

Fernando pulled a face. She sat down next to him, tucking her legs up on the couch and resting her head on his shoulder. These evenings with him relaxed her more than anything. Their home, the TV, the quiet—because the girls were too busy minding their own business.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, then she spoke.

“Lewis told me he wants to ask Alice to move in with him,” she said after taking a sip from her mug.

Fernando looked down at her. “Really?” he asked, amused. “I’m gonna roast that bloody Brit when I see him…”

“Fer…” she scolded, as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“He was so nervous. I’ve only seen him that tense a couple of times… one was before racing at Suzuka in the rain.”

“And the other?” Fernando asked curiously.

“When I told him I was pregnant with Veronica. And he was just my best friend, not the father,” she joked, making him laugh.

“Of course, I told him he should do it. That he shouldn’t wait. He thought I’d give him wise mom advice, totally forgetting that you and I were just a little rushed with everything…” Olivia laughed, shaking her head. “I think it’s the right moment. I mean, there’s never really a perfect time to move in with someone, but when you want to come home and find that person there—every time—that’s your answer.”

Fernando nodded. “Do you remember when I asked you?”

“You didn’t ask me, Mr. Romance. You told me, ‘just bring everything here,’ like you were talking about luggage, not my life,” she said, sarcastically.

“It was romantic! And spontaneous… and it worked,” he laughed.

“Spontaneous… yeah… I still believe you hadn’t thought it through and just wanted to see all my lingerie in one of your drawers,” she teased, as he pretended to think about it, then burst out laughing.

“Anyway, Lewis said he’s thought about it a lot, and he’s probably reached that phase too… the one where you stop pretending it’s not serious.”

Fernando turned to her. “If he really does it, we should prepare him. Or maybe not. I’d kind of love to see him in full panic mode…”

“Prepare him for what?” Olivia laughed.

“For living together. Clothes everywhere. Shoes in the bathroom. Twenty-seven hand creams in every drawer. The fact that he won’t have a single thing that’s just his in that house…” he said, dead serious.

“You’re such a drama queen…” she muttered, amused.

“Amor, I live with three women. It’s a miracle that, even with six bathrooms in this house, you leave me one drawer,” he replied. “He needs to be ready for that.”

“Oh, and you were ready?” Olivia laughed.

“No. But I fell in love anyway,” he said with that punchable grin he wore every time he could get away with it.

Olivia set her mug down on the table and snuggled deeper under his arm. “He’ll manage. He’s forty…”

Fernando nodded. “Honestly, I think it’s easier at twenty-five. Lewis is used to his solo life now… We… we built everything from the beginning. Together.”

“That’s true. But Lewis knows what it feels like to be alone for a long time. And he doesn’t want that anymore,” she admitted.

Fernando didn’t answer, just pulled her closer and kissed her head. “When I was in Silverstone, the worst part was the evenings… the silence,” he said softly.

“I know. It was the same for me,” she said, kissing him slowly. “So… is one drawer okay for you? We can clear out a cabinet too, if you like,” she joked.

Fernando couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Thanks, that’d be appreciated,” he teased. “But mostly, I need you to do me a favor,” he added, looking straight at her. “Lewis is an idiot, but don’t you dare start talking to him about marriage. He doesn’t deserve it.”

“Please,” she said, mock-offended. “What kind of person do you think I am?”

“The kind I’ve known for twenty years…” he smiled, pulling her in and kissing her head again.

“I’ll wait at least a couple of months,” Olivia muttered, making him laugh.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Ok. So. If someone wanted to read your works…

Which do you think is your best piece and why? You can split the answer into short and long fics if you want. 😜

Which do you think is your most delicious, sexy, satisfying piece of smut?

Which do you think has the most intimate/immersive POV of a character, like really takes you in their heart and mind and makes you feel what they feel? Takes you on the ride with them?

And which one do you think everyone should read? I know, choosing one is torture. 😉😘

This is a fantastic ask! Thank you, @freesia-writes! I had to think about it for a while, but I think I'm ready to stop waffling and commit to some answers.

Which do you think is your best piece and why? You can split the answer into short and long fics if you want. 😜

You know, I would say Boil and Trouble,* but it's unfinished, so there are still two more chapters for me to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. So instead, I'm going to say "The Sixth Language," for one very specific reason: it's the one fic I've written that is MY comfort fic. I have lots of comfort fics from other writers, but this is the only one of my own that I reread again and again, and it always makes me feel safe and happy.

Which do you think is your most delicious, sexy, satisfying piece of smut?

This one was easy! "Just a Little Bit More," because it's realistic and affirming but still super hot, IMO. It was also the fastest smut I've ever written. I was inspired.

Which do you think has the most intimate/immersive POV of a character, like really takes you in their heart and mind and makes you feel what they feel? Takes you on the ride with them?

Stars Beyond Number. 100%. Cerra feels like a real person to me, not a character. Actually, so do Fireball and Nemec, which is one of the reasons their canon deaths hit me so hard. My stupid brain can't tell the difference between a real person I actually know and a character I wrote about.

And which one do you think everyone should read? I know, choosing one is torture. 😉😘

Ahahahahahaha! "Everybody Hates Neyo" and "Everybody Hates Neyo Round 2: Matchmaking Boogaloo." This was one of the most fun fics I ever wrote, and if I were to pick a single fic to pitch to a new reader to give them an example of the things I like best about my writing (banter and smut), this would be the one. Neyo and the Badmiral are so unhinged and hilarious to me, and honestly I'm still dying over the concept of them being perfect for each other because they are menaces to society who need to be removed from the dating pool for the good of all.

Thank you so much for this! I had so much fun thinking of answers! 😘😘😘😘

*Boil and Trouble is such a pain in the ass to link. As soon as it's finished, I'm going to repost chapter 1 to my own account and create a chapter masterlist so it's easier for people to find.

[sugar-grigri]

Do you feel Asa's been underutilized these last chapters? I trust in Fuji but he kinda skipped over a lot of interest developments for her (her fame, her arm, Denji's identity, even the alley to some extent)

Has Fujimoto really forgotten Asa? 

That's an interesting question, and I think you're not the only one who thinks so. It's a pretty legitimate criticism and I'm not here to deny those concerns. No one can predict whether Asa's character development and treatment will be up to scratch. Since it's an answer that's answered at the end of a work. 

I think so too, just in the realization of the feelings, I would have liked it to be a little more tortured and focused on that. You could say that since Fujimoto seems to be trying to set up a fairly dense scenario, that too much concentration on the sentimental and internal debates between the characters would break the rhythm. What I'd like to say is that, if this is Fujimoto's intention...

CSM has already suffered from a loss of rhythm.

Worse, this loss of pace was achieved by focusing on Denji's character.

Worse still, Fujimoto preferred to concentrate on Denji's malaise, putting Asa aside. 

I think it's important that Asa regains her role as protagonist. I know this may come as a shock, but despite my analysis, I sometimes get fed up with the focus on Denji. Even when I thought she'd be back in the light, when she was ready to save Denji, the focus was irrevocably on him when he woke up. I find that Denji's character takes up an enormous amount of space in relation to the treatment of the others, and that wasn't the case at all in Part 1. 

As much as Yoshida is written as a mystery, Asa is less so: she's a character built on the need to question her every action.

Does it really make sense for her to want to help Chainsaw Man? It's not at all, but it's treated as a logical consequence of CSM saving her. You're right, we don't exploit at all the fact that she has to mentally and emotionally unite her feelings for CSM and Denji when she learns who she is. It would have been super interesting to exploit the fact that it's a difficult exercise because she doesn't feel the same way about one as the other. 

As for the masturbation scene, I agree and disagree with the two opposing sides that analyze this scene. For me, given the narrative coherence of Asa's character and the way it's written, it should have been a tsunami. For me it's a sexual assault on Denji and Asa committed by Yoru, but it's also a destruction of the way Asa tries to protect her. Again, it could have been exciting to exploit that just as Asa influences Yoru with her feelings, Yoru influences Asa by putting her in danger and having an influence on her fear, not realizing the wounds that can be inflicted on her, whether physical (lost hand), or mental (this assault). But no, it's hidden. And that's where I agree with those who argue that it's """"consented"""". Not by saying it is. But for the fact that Fujimoto does treat this scene as it is, and decides to euphemize it so as not to dwell on it too much. It was the worst possible way to go, and I'm really disappointed. Not for deciding to make this scene. But for not exploiting it. 

I'm sorry, but it's really in the treatment of Asa's character that I don't have much hope and that I'm disappointed. At times, I even get the impression that Fujimoto wanted to exploit Denji's final love interest a little, developing her until she wanted to save him. And then it's good! We've got our saviour. 

I want Asa to be exploited just as much as I want Yoru to be exploited. Fami is separate, and so is death. They themselves are sources of mystery. But if Asa is a protagonist, so is Yoru. Or at least a deuteragonist. It might have been interesting to exploit the pov of a knight of the apocalypse. Exploiting and developing this hatred for CSM, the affectation of feelings that can make this hatred more passionate. But again, nothing. 

I'm not saying that Denji's arc didn't add anything. All my analyses are here to explain how it differs from what has been said. Did it have to be done by focusing massively on Denji? Without any variation in points of view? Seriously, I know Fujimoto can do it. He just decided not to.

So the result is that I'm raging for Asa. And I'll eat my fist if I see that Yoshida isn't coming back and is still underused. 

Worse, Denji's character is getting on my nerves. 

There, that was salty grigri.