#codependents anonymous

[hirarious]

[guiltyidealist]

BPD & codependent Samarie edits! Feel free to use with credit (just a namedrop is fine)

Both flags are BPD awareness flags. I PNG'ed the Samarie overworld sprites myself but snagged the other three from her page on the wiki. The codependent emblems are a symbol of CoDependents Anonymous, extracted from their website (coda.org) and edited

[charliebraincharliebrain]

My latest bit with myself (like an inside joke just for me) is calling my higher power anything but my “higher power.”

This is not meant to demean the importance of the twelve step programs I’m working (CoDependents Anonymous and AlAnon), but instead to make the idea of a higher power more accessible for myself.

I’m very much in step one (admitting powerlessness) right now and inching into step two (starting to believe in a higher power, accepting this possibility) and having not grown up with or previously leaned on a Higher Power or had any particular experiences with one, I’m having a hard time identifying with the concept/finding my higher power.

So, thus, I am renaming them things that sound vaguely like “higher power” a-la that Benedict Cumberbatch meme (ex: Bendycat Cumberbund) or how we reclaimed that for the COVID Pandemic (ex: Panini Press, Panda Express)

My current fave is “Hibbity Bibbity,” so all of my journal entries currently start with “ok, Hibbity Bibbity”

Some others I enjoy:

Hannah Montana

Hippy Hoppy

Hairy Person

Idk I’ll add to this as I think of more, feel free to add/suggest additions!

[peace-hunter]

This might not happen but...

In your Haunted Prime AU

Would the Primes try to encourage Optimus to adopt Bee and start encouraging him even more more they found out about that Bee was Sub level 50 for who knows how long?

as a little brother certainly! i think Optimus and Bee are closer in age in TF:One than they are in other continuities so their relationship is more fraternal than anything!

but the Primes absolutely encourage anything that involves Optimus having more friends. they're incredibly glad to be able to help and support OP but they definitely think his support network should have some actual living bots and not just ghosts.

most of them are immediately endeared to Bee and the novelty of being able to communicate with someone other than Optimus, even if it has to be through Micronus, makes him a instant favorite.

finding out how isolated Bee had been and for how long only makes them more resolved to have OP spend more time with him. two birds one stone kinda deal.

haunted au

[manchestereyes]

I had kinda dipped out of the phandom during the was era (sorry) so I would to hear how that era led to them being so connected in this one

oh that is so valid, friend! 🧡 i kinda did too since it was announced right when i got my first full time job and suddenly i didn't have time to engage with phandom stuff anymore 😭 but things are a lot chiller now, so let's dive in! (under the cut because this is gonna be loooong--dnp please do not read if you happen to stumble across this!)

i think to get a full perspective on this journey, we really need to look at the full history of dan and phil. how they forged such a deep connection in 2009 and did whatever they could to be together. how they were blowing up more and more in the early 2010s and seeing more opportunities come from this youtube business. and how one youtube glitch could've ruined those opportunities forever.

i'm sure we all know by now how big of a deal the vday video was but if you don't... it was a huge deal. suddenly this very private piece of their lives was out in the open, long before either of them were ready to publicly address it. and it changed everything. yes, their love story was basically documented already, but they never expected those posts would be seen by millions of people one day, potentially even by people who could give them jobs. so they shut down. they insisted they were separate people and made completely different videos while also showing us the family sized box of shreddies they'd bought for the two of them.

and this is where wad comes in. yes i know i'm jumping really far into the future here, but hear me out--in a way, i believe wad is directly connected to everything that went down in 2012. see, phil's told us that he's always been happy doing amazingphil and dan and phil things. but dan's different.

SPECULATION TIME -- IF YOU ARE DAN AND PHIL, PLEASE CLICK AWAY NOW. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING.

dan grew up desperate for validation from parents who never had time for him and from peers who constantly bullied him. he's always had a voice in the back of his head telling him he's not good enough, and even when phil tells him his videos are great, he still wants them to appeal to all the people who dismissed him growing up. he wants to be his full self, yet he's also terrified of acknowledging that he could be the very thing he was tormented for. meanwhile, phil (as far as i can tell) had that validation growing up. his parents were older and had more money and therefore, more energy to devote to phil and martyn. phil's always been super close with his whole family, whereas dan (from what we know) has only ever been close with his nana and popsie, and now with his mum too. phil had a whole group of friends growing up, whereas dan flitted from group to group, never quite fitting in, and even had no friends for a while. this is why he developed the cynical, sarcastic persona he's worn for so long. it was his battle armor. every time he'd shown his real self growing up, he'd been rejected. but once he saw how lovely we all are, that battle armor was quickly becoming restricting. but he'd spent so long wearing it that now dan didn't know who he was now.

so we got the hiatus, while dan worked out who he was and how he wanted to present himself and threw himself into different projects that did and didn't see the light (rip dinok our strongest soldier 💔)--one of those projects being wad. suddenly dan, theatre kid extraordinaire, who'd spent two tours working with his favorite person onstage, was now facing the prospect of carrying an entire stage show on his own. on one hand, that was terrifying as fuck, but on the other, it was a culmination of all the work dan had done on himself. and he did it. he spent months physically apart from phil only to find that we loved him for who he is. and that was deeply healing for him.

however, being apart for several months was SO hard on him and phil. phil said he was having a lot of trouble with his migraines around that time and i have to wonder if that could have partly been from the stress of not having dan around for long periods of time. and we know dan had plenty of crises on the road that he frantically texted phil about--enough to have him credited as "remote crisis manager" in the wad recording. and that's the thing, isn't it? i think dan especially needed that time apart to realize that he and phil are truly magical together. and with all the pressure he puts on himself for solo content, he knew it would take a herculean effort to put anything out on his main channel. but phil's been working with a really cool editor for his main channel. and the gaming channel has never had that content threshold.

so they finally both dropped the masks (for the most part) and dove into this new version of dan and phil that emphasizes their connection. because it's okay for them to be this close now. they've already worked with some hugely powerful people (and been accepted by their families) and now all they need is us. and we've not only accepted them for it, we've celebrated it--all the way to the finals of the rpf tourney. and i think that acceptance means more to dnp than we will ever know.

tl;dr: dan and phil had to be apart for a while to see just how much they needed each other. and now that they've experienced that, they know they can never let each other go--and that their connection is just as special to us as it is to them, so there's no harm in showing it off every chance they get.

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is:

“You’ll get a crush someday!”

Five years later, seventeen years old, no crush and forced into a toxic relationship because your mom is toxic

I'm sorry that that has happened to you. To you, and anyone else in these situations:

You know yourself. Even if your current aromanticism is a phase, that doesn't mean people should be invalidating your current feelings and intentions. You deserve to be listened to and respected.

As much as is possible, establish boundaries in your relationships. I will always advocate that a boundary is not "Do not do this", a healthy boundary looks more like "If you do this, I will respond like this." For example, in toxic relationships, there is often an expectation that you will drop everything for the other. It may be useful to say "If I tell you I cannot hang out right now and you insist I should regardless, I will silence notifications from you for an hour." If they disrespect your boundary, enforce your reaction. If they tell you this is extreme, unreasonable, anything of that nature - remind yourself: I am respecting my time. Even if I would like to be hanging out, I cannot, and being pressured to find excuses or being shamed for circumstances I cannot change in this moment is unreasonable and harming me.

Things will get better, and that is a promise. I know at 17 I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle anyone that told me that - but seriously. My life at 23 isn't perfect at all - but I am in control of it. You will get there.

[northern-passage]

i was scrolling back through a bunch of asks about lea and i stumbled upon one where you were asked "if the RO's had to chose between the city and hunter who would pick what" and out of everyone, Lea is like the only one without a doubt to save the hunter and IM SO ????? I LITERALLY LOVE THEM SM. ugh i want to draw/write a comic for that so badly now, im so deranged about the fact the lea would pick the hunter </3 im curious though, would that apply for the hunter even if their relationship is bad?? will lea always pick the hunter?

interesting question.... 🤔

i suppose it would depend on a few other things... like how bad their relationship is and also how bad the hunter's relationship is with other people. if they're just a straight up terror and making everyone around them miserable, then i think Lea would make the choice against them, in a "mercy kill" kind of way (and it would be very difficult for them). but if it's just their relationship that's bad... they would still pick the hunter.

they have that kind of blind, stupid loyalty.

[prince-liest]

Well consider me intrigued at the idea of a Heathers au. Are there any particular vibes you have regarding the idea? (Accepting, of course, that this is not like a thought out and planned fic)

It's never a planned fic, haha, I'm just always a baseline level of obsessed with Heathers, especially the musical. I often forget that it exists and then someone accidentally links me a video using a sound clip from Meant To Be Yours or something and I lose my entire goddamn mind all over again...

I did have lofty wishes for a DabiHawks Heathers AU that I outlined and generally daydreamed about back in 2020 when I was in my full My Hero Academia phase!

For Hazbin Hotel, the Vees are the easy reach to fit the general layout of the Heathers, and I think Charlie and Alastor would do well as Veronica and J.D., with Vaggie as Betty. Not as direct parallels, lol (and neither was my MHA version), but in terms of the themes of, like... getting suckered in by someone who you thought was on your side and accidentally going way too far as a result before you finally have to put your foot down and turn on them. A nice Hazbin Hotel twist on it would be Charlie dragging him into a genuine redemption, since there's no way he'd pull what J.D. does at the end of Heathers.

That said, I do think that Heathers as an AU concept works best for media where all the characters are on the younger side, so it doesn't actually mesh as well with Hazbin Hotel as I'd like for it to, especially since Alastor is the character that should probably be in J.D.'s role but doesn't have the same manic obsessiveness (romantic or platonic). For me, a Heathers AU is a way to explore toxic codependency and feeling like you're isolated as the only one in the world who is in this horrible situation and nobody understands.

[unladielike]

tell us more about vivian's toxic relationship dynamic with kai

          UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!

It's a mess, to be honest, where both seemingly have a hard time understanding each other and as a result, bicker endlessly. Whereas Kai's feelings get hurt, though, Vivian's mental health pretty much takes a nose dive following her encounters with him, for no matter how much she tries, it's like nothing she does ever improves their relationship. It also doesn't help his callousness does not make her want to open up, leading her to revert back into her insecure shell and do self destructive things; in other words, he's very bad for her health and is not by any means a 'safe person', which is someone an individual with autism trusts implicitly and feels safe or comfortable around.

Then again, it's confusing, because Vivian would claim she hates Kai, yet a baffling thing she does is cut fruit in his apartment before wordlessly handing him a plate of pineapples, oranges, and kiwi like an Asian mom, and weirdly enough, retreat back into the kitchen to be on her phone or wash the dishes. Now, naturally, you might assume she does this out of the goodness of her own heart or to make sure he gets his Vitamin C, but no, the true reason is to improve the taste of his semen.

Plus, while she no longer initiates conversation with him as much anymore, she would still pester him very frequently through text messages and would, by all appearances, be dead-set on at least beating him in something the way a petulant child might. To that end, she would bug him to go bowling with her, challenge him to, say, a game of poker (if he insinuates she must suck at gambling), or boldly claim she could drink him underneath the table, only to then pathetically lose in true girl failure fashion.

Why, instead of cool while she's with him, Vivian comes across as a very... clumsy, yet plucky young woman brimming with naivete. She flounders and puts on a brave, tough girl act, when really, she's all talk and no bite. That still wouldn't stop her from doing things she deems to be 'manly', however, like holding doors out for others, telling women 'cute ladies first' (in that princely, non-flirtatious way of hers), chasing after someone who dropped their wallet, and assisting an old woman across the street... things I'm sure he has seen her do a couple times. And I'm sure it must make him want to barf, because compared to him, she's much too nice... too stereotypically heroic, it reminds him of some cheesy protagonist from a kid's show.

At the same time, though, she also ends up in very stupid situations, where she'd either find herself stuck in a hole through the wall or unintentionally splattering mayo all over herself, to the point where she's ironically more so a distressed damsel than whatever heroic title she'd enjoy giving herself. Like, there are girls who can definitely kick Kai's ass, but Vivian's so laughably lame, she isn't one of them no matter how much she may claim otherwise.

As if that wasn't enough, she would even cook for him every once in a while after seeing how... incredibly lacking his diet is and would do weird things, such as gaze at him from afar with a pair of binoculars. Drunk Vivian would also be very clingy, that I wouldn't be surprised if people mistook her for his bratty girlfriend or something, just because she does kinda act that way. Heck, I headcanon one time, she even threatens to pee on his knives should he not tuck her in and give her a proper forehead kiss, which is something she still does not recall doing to this day.

But despite the fact Vivian constantly talks back to him and criticizes him, a part of her does deep down like Kai. She just doesn't want to admit it and gets off from being put in her place and being broken down into saying things she normally wouldn't because, well... she has a humiliation fetish and it turns her on whenever a hot, domineering man bullies her into submission; nevertheless, she does have a strange love hate relationship with him people would struggle to wrap their head around. I mean, on one hand, he frustrates her to no end, yet on the other hand, she's basically all, 'Man, he sucks... but I can't not fuck him'.

Still, it's hard to really take her seriously when the moment she accidentally loses Kai in a crowd, she'll peer through the nearest trash can just to find him and if she comes back to a room, only to find nothing but a plush that resembles him, she would be all, 'Oh no, Kai turned into a marketable plush! 😱' Vivian's just... oftentimes very silly, you would not suspect that behind the scenes, she starts self harming because of him or happens to hyperfixate over him to sometimes an unhealthy degree. Truly, thanks to Kai, she's secretly sad almost all the time and does not for one second believes he cares about her... that is, of course, up until he becomes her so called 'boyfriend', but that's a story for another time.

anonymous ( concerning @gloryundimmed )

[deadandphilgames]

allie i'm sad about spooky week being over bc now they don't have an excuse to hold hands on vids😔

im sure they’re doing something cursed like interlinking their feet under the desk <3

[guiltyidealist]

I reformatted Co-Dependents Anonymous's Recovery Patterns pages

(I didn't like that one of them got chopped in half across pages)

[insinirate]

ww snr would describe nai's hatred for his son as just "being prickly", calls him a little cactus. it only furthers his instinct to act dadly and hope nai somehow softens up if doted on enough (like that ever worked on his own kid - probably explains why he blindly keeps on with nai).

vash gotta hate it when he notices because doting on nai is his job. stay in your lane, he's been here long before you.

woo sr dotes on nai and nai soaks it UP like the sun to the stupid little plant he is

and not that it was ever even a competition, let alone a close one, but he decides he likes this woo best between the 2 woos and it drives vash crazy bc 1) woo jr is perfect wdym and 2) dont i dote enough or am i doing it wrong :(

[twobellsilence]

Thoughts on Jimcurly?

incredibly fascinating in concept, ESPECIALLY when one-sided on Jim's part. Probably top 10 most toxic pairings in shipping history and you could write at least 5 papers on the psychological implications of their relationship. That said they're not for me and I have the tag blocked sorry anon

[cryptocism]

the idea of Three keeping Four's corpse and even more than that, the thought of his reaction of Four's death in the first place, hits different knowing their messed up relationship and that they still saw each other even after Four was Inertia

yeah omg chapter 11 went through so many changes from first draft to final, and portraying Three and Four was a big part of that.

because i'm trying to do all these mirrors and echos with these characters and their relationships, Three and Four has a lot of the same ingredients as Six and Seven, Eight and Nine, or even Three and Five. (which are ultimately all foils of Bart and Thad, the different ways that their relationship and attitudes towards each other could manifest given different circumstances and choices, while still being distinct enough to stay true to each of the clones' characters)

Three and Four have the worst most toxic version of that dynamic, and figuring out how to write it without getting WAY too dark and gritty but still make clear these guys are super fucked up went through many many rewrites and changes. i think i landed in a pretty alright place by the end, although because the chapter is ultimately from Six's perspective, a lot of Three's internal conflict and Four's feelings/motivations can't be as blatant as I might've made it if either of them were the ones with the reigns on the narrative. instead their motivations feelings and emotions have to be kind of deconstructed from actions and gleaned through context.

i have my own like, "intent" when writing the things that Three and Four do and the choices that they make, but because their perspectives aren't actually shown there's likely a lot of room for reader interpretation. which i love to see tbh

[wreckedandpolemic]

Regret me universe gives me years of life ngl. It’s so good.

well i’m glad it’s extending SOMEONE’S life cos they’ve taken a decade off mine probably

[tiktaalic]

wait..if it's comfortable for you to do so, may I see a picture of these wire and cloth mothers?? I'm so curious..or actually now that I say this I would also love to see a picture of your cute cat if you have one to share :3

My monkeys and estate sale seal cross stitch

My cleo cat so cranky that I woke her up from a nap by getting home from work at a different time and turning on the lights. E piper