#coping with limerence

[bihar]

Overcoming limerence involves recognizing and acknowledging its existence, understanding that it is a psychological state driven by obsessive thoughts and idealization rather than true love. Limiting contact with the person fueling the limerence, challenging irrational thoughts, and focusing on self-care are key steps. It's important to shift attention toward personal growth, build real connections, and address underlying emotional needs or past trauma. Emotional regulation techniques and setting boundaries can help manage the intensity of feelings. Professional help, such as therapy, can be valuable in addressing deeper patterns. Healing takes time, but by focusing on self-improvement and allowing the emotions to fade, one can gradually overcome limerence and form healthier relationships. #OvercomingLimerence #EmotionalHealing #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #HealthyBoundaries #EmotionalWellbeing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tWaHxeeUog

[elegyofdionysus]

It’s heavy and it’s horrible, this need to be prettier and smarter and funnier and kinder than everyone just to ensure that he will want me. I’m so tired of wanting things, wanting him, wanting things from him. I wish I could kill the part of me that’s human.

[stellarphileistic]

I CAN’T BE GETTING TENDINITIS, NOT NOW, PLEASE GOD NO

[dontbemeantomepls]

the many contradictions surrounding my ache

oh ache,

i cast you aside,

let the only thundering i hear

be the sound of your wounded footsteps

hastening away from

the pieces of people i’ve collected

tattered together by string—

let me stretch my fingertips

towards the summer sky

and will the clouds away

as though i have the right

i’ll speak

as though i’m not afraid

of the sound of my own voice

eating me alive

you know, i hear you—

you are the perpetual, unyielding

ringing in my ear

when i am alone at night—

your misshapen roots have

molded and bent into

each patter of my heart,

constricting the little oxygen

i have in my veins

i feel your pulse

like a needle in my arm,

the medicine flowing

where it does not belong—

in my weary, trusting haze

you made a hostage of my peace

though i

really thought i saw god before me;;

oh ache,

you stayed when the crowds went home

swiping your fingers

along the dirtied grooves of the bleachers

clutching the ends of your shirt

in hopes i’d finally see you—

see you as though you are a teenage girl,

wounded roadkill,

an unspoken thump in the forest,

seen by the one you most adored

the one you’d dare to hold this close

in your most tattered clothes

oh ache,

i scream at you when no one’s around

i’m convinced somewhere out there

there is an audience i’m performing for

you clutch my face,

“it’s just you and me,”

you, the absence

of a person,

waving,

and from down here

i sneer because

it looks like you’re mocking me,

there’s nothing in this world

i wouldn’t give

to hear the sound

of my phone buzzing,

and go on as if you never existed

but until that moment…

i’ll clutch my bitter form against yours

through the half-hearted execution of love

(the real thing— i cannot give)

i’ll laugh as if it’s a cry for help—

strangers turn to me and stare,

i’ll pat your bruises as a form of praise,

i’ll tell you,

“you’re stronger than this”

i’ll reward myself for being so brave,

for plastering a smile on your face,

i’ll kiss your cheek and lie;

“i promise i’ll stay”

[reigneden]

how do you deal with not hyper fixating on a new person/crush. someone new talks to me that shares 1 similar interest? IMMEDIATELY i must be with them 24/7. 1 person shows 10% romantic interest in me? I MUST PURSUE.

[himblebo]

Should I force myself to talk to women on hinge

[lost-jigsaw-piece]

Some vulnerable hard truths were released today regarding my issues with limerance, with the help of good old trusty Chat GPT of course. And I found this out by absolute chance by coming across a Tiktok video on my FYP.

It was suggesting that highly creative people who feel that their energy is regularly blocked or misaligned could be directing that same energy to some rather obsessive and unhealthy narratives and habits....in my case obsessing over another person. And yes, I have been feeling blocked so much recently and honestly I thought it was just through thinking I had to be 'perfect' to create, so I had pretty much abandoned my creative energy (well....so I THOUGHT).

The images below seem to tell another tale that I would have NEVER considered. I was attaching my energy to an external person rather than channeling it inwards and therefore giving up my power. I was using my creative energy to create problems and fantasy's and the narrative I was not good enough which led to my unhealthy attachment and lots and lots of maladaptive daydreaming and other toxic coping mechanisms.

We definitely learn something new every day ✨🙏🏻

[meganegatari]

pathetic/nerdy/loser/perverted ellie ramble AJAKSOJSOJS. LOTS OF SMUT!! quick and really crass, just needed to get this outta my system LMFAO. want some more? click here for the continuation!!

she'd be pining for you so hard, just consumed entirely by the limerence, so impossibly down bad for everything about you, it ate her up inside. she needed you in every way possible, needed to smell you, to taste you, to feel you clench around her fingers and tongue, she wanted you to crush her head —glasses and all—with your thighs, she needed it all.

and yeah, she did feel creepy about it—staring at your tits from afar, maybe sitting in the park someday after her class, thank god for transitional lenses. she felt her face go tomato-red from the shame, what in the world was she doing, ogling her sort of-friend like that, but fuck did it fuel her fantasies.

in the dark of the night, you were the only thing occupying her poor, horny mind, as she stuffed two, no, three digits in her soaking pussy, using every morsel of her imagination to materialize the sight of you being the one to make her see stars. she'd imagine covering you in marks and hickeys, watching your wrist flex while you were knuckle deep inside of her.

her eyes brimming with tears, knuckles dripping in pearly cum forming a fucking puddle beneath her, pounding in and out of her quivering walls over and over and over again until she felt light-headed, she found it the only way to cope.

“ugh- fuck baby, yeah that's it..mmf." whines and just the utmost pathetic pleas tumbled from her swollen, rosy lips, her clit near aching from the abuse she thrusted on it nightly. chanting your name in the night akin to a prayer— ironic. this was anything but holy—imagining the way your tits would bounce, the way you'd cry her name out and drench her in your fluids, she'd even imagine herself on her knees, being the one staring up at you between your legs as you run your nails through her hair, hold her chin.

“please, wanna cum again, c'mon baby. fuck, fuck, fuck- yeah, hnn-!!” tears fully streaming down her freckled cheeks at this point, her whole body tensing as she came for what seemed like the thousandth time this night, she continued until it was causing her a great deal of pain. until she was completely wrung dry. “...what am i doing. fuckin’ hell.”

breathing heavily, the shame really sets in now. what was she doing? rolling over in her damp bed, she'd groan while the embarrassment made her cheeks burn hotter than the deepest pits of hell—where she's convinced she's gonna enjoy the hospitality of if she keeps this up—she'd bury her face in her pillow and pass out into a slumber, only until the cycle repeats itself the next night.

but little did she know, her experience was being mirrored, almost with creepy accuracy, wherever you were. pining just as hard for the lanky loser you were mere acquaintances with. teasing her on purpose, just to watch the dark flush spread across her features, to watch her shift uncomfortably and avoid your taunting stare with everything she's got, squeeze her thighs together to soothe the ache you knew she was going to take care of later as soon as you part ways. it drove you nuts too. if only she knew. if only!

WHY DID THIS EAT LMAOOO but oop went a little overboard my bad um ok enjoy bye can u tell im in a mood lately pls give me notes even tho its 2am ik everyones dead but oh well luv u

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Limerence

Content Includes: Bang Chan x sub!fem reader, shower sex, praise, a lot of angst, comfort sex , established relationship, needy and clingy Bang Chan,  Chan is in his feels, 18+, it’s soft but deep in emotion. 

Word Count: 450

It scared Chan with how much he loved you. 

It was suffocating, it consumed him and he just didn’t want to fucking STOP. 

Life was tough. Things were rough and work was exhausting. 

When you suggested having a shower together, just to BE together for a small amount of time, his skin shivered with need and chest ached with desire. 

Firm hands gripped your hips tightly as he felt your hands on his chest, the scent of pomegranate filling the air as you washed him. 

You were so attentive, so giving despite the heaviness in your eyes and it caused Chan’s heart to burst with overwhelming care and yearning, his jaw clenched and eyes sharp. 

‘God, I need you. ‘ 

His voice sounded fractured at the end, like he had just revealed something that was locked in the confines in his soul. 

Your hands gracefully stopped and laid still on his arms, looking up at him and noticing the darkness in his gaze, his eyes showed what his body and words could hide. 

Chan was longing for you, he missed you and there was a craving amongst his stare. 

‘You have me baby’ 

You reassured him, softening your voice and offering a small smile. 

‘You have me’. 

A step towards you and your back was pressed against the wall, hands cupping your face and his lips against your temple. 

‘I know…but it’s not enough’. 

The steam of the shower filled the space as Chan’s face was buried in your neck, his teeth marking your skin and his cock firm and hard inside of you, leg wrapped around his hip and your free hand laced in his hair. 

‘I love you, fuck I need you so much’. 

His muscles were tight and veins prominent as he thrusted upwards, his hips snapping so aggressively you slid upwards, his body shaking against yours, you probably would have slipped by now if Chan wasn’t completely supporting your weight against him. 

‘I can’t cope-’ His voice cracked, tears in his eyes.

‘I can’t cope if you’re not here’. 

All the hidden thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface, repressed vulnerability and honesty pooling on the tip of his tongue. 

‘I need you with me just so I can fucking breathe’. 

He moved his hand to your thigh, lifting it higher and widening the angle, his cock hitting deeper and his pacing to stagger, moving more quickly as he was reaching his peak. 

‘I love you so much it hurts baby’ 

He kissed you deeply, pouring his heart and soul into your body with his tongue and mouth, pressing himself against you more so you truly were skin-to-skin. 

‘I can’t stop…and I don’t want to.’

Author Commentary: I got my period and I was in my feels and Chan fics are my comfort go-to’s. And then I just had a thought about how Chan’s natal chart indicates he could ‘lose himself’ in his partner and then I wrote this. 

And I fucking loved writing this because these angsty, comforting pieces are what fill my romantic and cynical heart.

Taglist: @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @cherry-0420 @umbralhelwolf @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @craxy-person @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @sensitiveandhungry @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @lemonhongjoong @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @lyramundana @daddysspecialdollyworld

[harridansibyl]

12th House Stellium Themes

(My observations as someone who has this stellium)

Solitude

feeling alienated from others or getting easily exhausted by people's energy, especially in group settings

you can have the ability to read people extremely easily. You can be in the presence of someone you've just met and already feel that something is off

only feeling like you can be yourself when alone

more prone to cut people off, distance, or ghost

enjoy spending time on creative projects, journalling, interests alone

Disconnection

constantly feeling like there's a fog separating you from the world around you and other people

either experiencing chronic dissociation or having episodes of it

feeling inhuman or unreal, like you were dropped onto Earth with no incentive

feeling like you have one foot in another realm at all times

Living more in your mind than in real life or constantly using escapism as a coping mechanism (music, movies, substances, limerence, daydreaming**, social media, etc.)

Projection

having others tell you who you are despite them only knowing surface level information

constantly feeling misunderstood or like no one knows the true you

putting on a mask in front of others, usually unintentionally

being a mirror to other people, they can see themselves and react accordingly

people becoming obsessed with you, either hating you or seeing you as their ideal (especially with Venus/Lilith)

people can describe you as being mysterious, quiet, or like you have your head in the clouds

this can be applicable to 8th house placements/stelliums

Paranormal

seeing shadow figures or experiencing unexplainable things, especially in childhood

being extremely sensitive to your environment and having the ability to pick up on things that others don't notice

prophetic or really surreal/vivid dreams

being really in tune with your subconscious mind while also feeling blocked off from it

again, also applies to 8th house (there's a lot of crossover lol)

I'll be doing a part 2 to this because there's more that I want to touch on

[eatanorange]

marauders do the candy trauma salad trend since I JUST saw a fantastic one for pjo (highly encourage y'all to add your versions/to this pls I don't have solid hcs of everyone) (evan's is fully me projecting btw)(a lot of them are me projecting <3).

Upon completion I want to add up here n not just the tags that these do reference various traumas/bigotry so be careful and mind what headspace ur in n all that pls take care of urselves k thanks love u.

Sirius: Hi I'm sirius and every time my mother considered something I did 'impure', like experience joy or get sorted in to gryffindor, she took my mouth away! *momentary zone out from the horrors* I brought milk duds!

Barty: bazooka bubblegum. *vid cuts* I'm barty and I hate my dad for all of the reasons you can imagine and I think it would be fun if he blew up. good?

Lily: Hi I'm Lily and after I got sent to magic school, all emotional ties with my muggle sister, who regards me as a freak, and my mother, who was more sensitive to her side, were severed. They didn't tell me when my dad died. I brought 3 musketeers.

Remus: Hi I'm remus and I got bit by a werewolf when I was 5, then my dad offed himself because of it. I brought moon pies.

James: Hi I'm James and I fell into limerence with someone and incessantly pursued them for over a year in ways that were detrimental to both of our mental states. I was so public about it I don't even need to say who it was. My mother sat me down one day and said "was it something your father and I did, something we said, that convinced you you need to beg someone to love you? to let you show them love?" and that broke something in me. We're chill now though, and I have coping techniques that work for me while still allowing me to be my expressive self, so I brought mr. goodbars.

Peter: Hi I'm peter and my animagus is literally a rat. I brought sour patch kids.

Dorcas: Hi I'm dorcas and my pureblood parents will never say it to my face but they wanted me to be a boy. To compensate I was sure to always get top marks, be well liked, and experience gender dysphoria. I burnt out before our 5th year, and learning radical acceptance in the place of trying to guess unspoken rules saved my life. I brought smarties.

Regulus: Hi I'm regulus and in order to be sure my mother didn't assassinate my brother for running away, I stayed behind in the abusive household and eventually became a deatheater to keep my cover, hunting down one bald headed bitch's horcruxes until it literally almost killed me. I think it did kill me in some lives. and I brought the starburst.

Mary: Hi I'm Mary and due to blood supremacist bigots, I have to go to school with people who want me to die just for having the audacity to exist. The muggle world is also like this. The school I go to does not matter in this scenario. I brought mentos for the salad and a bottle of soda for the show.

Evan: Hi I'm evan and my ex went on holiday to another country for 3 months, told me we could write to stay connected, they didn't, broke up with me via owl while still on said vacation, and then came to talk to me in person about that, denied that it was an active choice to disconnect from me, then tried to put the onus of any friendship to follow on just me. We haven't spoken since. Also I'm a sex positive, but also trauma affected ace, it was an open relationship, and they somehow still managed to be shady/inconsiderate about hooking up with someone on the vacation. I brought blow pops.

Pandora: Hi I'm pandora and sometimes I get prophetic dreams so vivid I can't tell when I wake up. Sometimes, though the future is not stagnant, I see my friends die :) I brought airheads.

Marlene: Hi I'm marlene and I have 5 brothers. 3 of them accept my nonbinary identity. The rest, and my parents, blatantly ignore that I use they/them pronouns. Then they told me if I don't have children as an adult I won't be worth visiting because it's my job as a pureblood to produce an heir. So I went to St. Mungos and got sterilized. I brought baby ruth candy.

Hope you enjoy! and thanks if you read them all! This was fun for me.

[3liza]

seriously though from my experience dealing with other rich middle aged men I can tell you this right here, what we are witnessing right now, is the root of much evil in the world.

guys like Matt own and run everything that's privatized and larger than a certain level of scale. these guys get put in a steel tunnel from childhood onward into this weird little knotted ball of insecurity and entitlement, with no time spent during their youth in developing any interpersonal skills at all that aren't "talking slightly too loudly at a corporate party". I've worked as a domme, and a ton of these guys start hiring dominatrices when they get to Matt's age because they're unable to maintain anyone's attention without paying for it anyway and are so crippled with insecurity they can't be honest with women in their lives if they have any. this doesn't help them much because inauthentic human connection makes things worse. exposing even mild, normalized fetishes make them shut down and lash out, but it's not just a sex thing, it's their whole lives. I've watched so many of them hit their 40s, have a bunch of money and a little power, and realize all the poor degenerates they've spent their lives treating like a spectacle or a fantasy are the ones actually having fun, and who other people actually enjoy spending time around. this is pure speculation on my part, idk anything about his personal life and am not trying to find out. the posts are enough to diagnose a dozen extremely pressing problems he will have to painstakingly deconstruct in $10,000 Ayahuasca retreats to get anywhere.

and I wouldn't be so critical about their personal failings as a class of people if they didn't make those failings everyone else's problem. they are fully aware they are fucking up but have always been able to get immediate gratification by standing still and screaming until someone brings them exactly what they need. they know they could use their money to put people in houses or feed them, they deal with this by just not thinking about it. no one has ever genuinely liked them and they're aware of this, often including their own parents. they are frustrated with women. they have zero creative outlets and no skills. even if they have relationships they don't fall in love or experience limerance. all they do is make money or handle money, they are incapable of performing real labor and are alienated from the concept of labor itself so they invent weird orthorexias and compulsive exercise schedules to feel like they're performing labor. a lot of them develop substance problems because it alleviates some of the crippling inhibition and self doubt, but that causes more problems. some of them are narcissists or sociopaths which helps them cope with the extreme isolation but a lot of them arent, and just constantly afflicted with the same problems people get in solitary confinement or being the pariah at a high school. any of them could opt out of all this crap at any time and simply choose not to. these guys are ruining everything.

[ironteeth-fury]

i adored your previous ghost/soap fic rec list, and have read completely through it

perchance do you know any ghoap whump or hurt/comfort fics where either one is really protective of the other?? Or even any gen/less shippy whump with protective 141??

thank you for your service O7

I'm glad you liked it!!! And i do hope that you already read a lot of those because otherwise, wow you read fast!!

Whump or hurt/comfort with protectiveness, not on the original list, let's goooo I haven't scoured through my entire bookmarks yet because i didn't want this to get too much because it takes ages to put together ahha so i'll probably have more once you've worked through this <3 firstly one that doesn't really fit the others but I wanted to recc anyway:

Show me how you drive, I'll show you who you are - SharkNoises. It's a long fic, Street Racing and Found Family Au. Both Johnny and Simon go through it emotionally and there's a lot of comfort and stuff.

Now here have a wump fic that's a WIP

Into The Abyss -MildLimerence. so firstly this is almost finished, 21/22 chapters! Limerence is always good for some wump and hurt/comfort. ABO universe. Fated mates. Ghost rejects Soap as his fated mate very meanly years before the 141 gets formed. Obviously, Shit Hits The Fan when Soap comes onto the 141 and Ghost recognises him.

Now for the acutal wump:

Scar's SoapGhostFics - amongthebooks. a whole series of alone standing fics focussing on physically hurt ghost and emotionally hurt soap! Enjoy <3

A couple fics where they both get hurt:

Talk - Bluejay 141519. A short fic for Febuwhump '25 wherein the whole 141 gets hit with the hurt/comfort stick. Check out the series it's in, not all the works are Call of Duty, but the ones that are, are definitely good fuckin' whump!! All very good stuff

Knock Out - enter_fandom_reference00. Ghost and Soap both get captured and are very protective over each other .

Remember Me (Please) - Darkflamej. Rework of the Alone mission, but surprise, Johnny has amnesia and has no idea who he is or where. Ghost's job just got a whole lot more complicated

Shadows in a Gilded Cage -Angelwingsl3. OOF soo much wump for both the boys. Featuring Roba, Johnny who got human trafficed very young and ended up in mexico, protectiveness, definitely a lot of hurt/comfort. Watch the archive warnings and the tags!

Fics that focus on hurt ghost!

Wanna Go Home, Johnny - orphan account. Ghost gets taken captive and he's prepared for the torture that's coming to keep his team safe. (of course, his team is working on keeping him safe too)

Weaned on Bitter Honey - HigherMagic. ABO fic, alpha ghost, omega soap. Kidnapping, torture, brainwashing, missions, Plot, pining and definitely overprotectiveness on both sides. Ghost gets taken captive on a mission. Soap is not coping well.

Of Blankets, Tea and Grilled Cheese -Fluorezopone. Simon gets migranes. Johnny finds out and decides that, if Simon isn't gonna take care of himself, he will have to take care of Simon instead.

can I get a rain check on this heart of mine? -amongthebooks. GOD this one hurts a lot. Ghost gets taken captive when Soap is on leave. Established relationships, Soap not realising Ghost has dissapeared, a LOT of hurt/comfort. this one has been posted in the Scar's SoapGhost fics I recc'd earlier, but like, this one is so good I needed to put it in here another time specifically.

Hurt Soap!

whispers of the damned - eggtimelads. we get soap getting trapped under a collapsed building and not telling his team. Nobody is happy about this.

notre dame - merikai. More Soap stuck under a building!!! (actually inspired by the former fic)

Pain and Darkness -Fan109. Buried alive trope for soap. What do they say, torture your favorites?

Alone, Together -Randomfandombloggs09. Mission gone wrong, Soap almost dies, Ghost copes just /fine/ thank you

In A Hole In The Earth - Louffox. Soap gets told to Shut Up. Soap gets hurt and trapped. Soap doesn't speak up because of said being told to shut up. Self sacrificing soap, and the team not realising that they hurt him until it's almost too late.

The Wind Will Howl Your Name - Minimelo. AU fic where Soap almost dies trying to hunt for food for his village in the middle of winter, gets saved by a stranger and taken to said stranger's home, who nurses him back to health. hurt/comfort, pining, getting to know each other, getting together, angst, happy endings.

Something I Can Draw Into My Skin -Louffox. I don't know if this is fully hurt soap because ghost definitely does some self-flaggelation in here. STill. Soap is hurt. Ghost realises soap is acting strange. Ghost confronts Soap. Trigger warning for selfharm!!

(note to self, for future reference, the last fic in the bookmarks i went through is Show me how you drive. the first one is Into the Abyss.

[strawberrysnoopy]

ACT ONE: The Photoshoot, Part Three of Four

prologue, part one, part two. warnings: tobacco, smoking, alcohol use, briefest mention of using alcohol as a coping mechanism, mentions of infidelity (as always), ada slander at times (sorry), texting for a while, leon's a bit of a perv,

author's note: btw I left the husband without a name so there's no overlap on you and your husband having the same name and you live in new york due to the modeling thing. I also try my hardest to keep the reader ambiguous because I realize that skinny, quirky, white girls aren't the only ones that read this series: if there's anything you'd like to recommend or change in the writing to be more reader-friendly, drop in my inbox and let me know! :) thank you guys so much for all the reblogs and 100 FOLLOWERS AHHH!! thank you thank you thank you!

The warmth of your fingers working against his cool and paled skin had him melting like a runny ice cream cone in your hands. His hand was on your hip, rubbing loving circles like he was trying to commit the warm feel of your flesh into his memory. This was the type of life he envisioned when he was younger: married to someone he loved deeply with every crevice of his being. He thought Ada was the person for him, but that was such a costly and emotionally unbalanced guess. "Thank you, honey." You nod in response, applying the rest of the stitching to his busted lip. His hands dare to move a little higher on your hips, squeezing your waist and getting some sick pleasure out of the way your breath stopped in embarrassment. The scene was perfect, just a good ol’ friend taking care of her busted up pal. Leon hated that he couldn’t find you earlier, sooner, before he could even lay eyes on Ada Wong. She had her charms, sure, but there was something about the soft lull of your presence, how gentle you were, how caring you could be with others that had his heart fluttering in his chest. He still can't believe out of all the places he could've met you, it was at a store while you were buying a bottle of wine for yourself and your husband. "Met" would have to be an overrated word in his dictionary. The truth was that Leon had first laid eyes upon you in a magazine. They had released their February shoot that show-cased entrepreneurial photographers on the rise, climbing their way to the top without a care in the world who they scratched on their way there. You happened to be the diamond in the rough, making everyone else's cliche photographs of "lust" or "revenge" or "innocence" themes seem drab. Your theme? Limerence. Beautiful, simmering, and chilling limerence. Your hair was pieced together lazily but curled neatly, wearing simple yet cryptic tops and little boy shorts that lovingly cradled your ass. The rookie photographer that snapped your photos had done a stellar job at making it seem like you were one of those once in a lifetime girls you met in college. He still had the magazine of course, stashed away in the depths of his closet: kept in pristine condition like a filthy little secret he loved to indulge in. "So..." He muses. He feels the little pause in your work, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "How long have you known? About your husband's infidelity?" You've always known. The first? A college girl in the first year of your "official" relationship Bubbly and vibrant and a fucking joy to be around. The kind of girl you see on ABC's 20/20 or some other type of true crime prime-time film. Your husband claimed it was a drunk hook-up. And the first time, you believed him. The second? A school teacher that looked, acted, and talked exactly like you. Maybe she was your long lost twin or some weird rip in the fabric of time and she happened to pop out. He claimed he was mad at you for the way you did laundry. You forgave him a second time, but you'd surely have a knife to his throat the third time.

"A while. It's just like some weird fact I live with, I guess. Like you have some chronic disease and it's something you deal with from time to time." He nodded, bringing your hand up to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to your palm. He knows you don't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. Yet, he always wondered why you stayed. Your husband was an asshole, although that shouldn't be a term that leaves his lips due to the fact he's supposedly your husband's best bud, but for the sake of doing the holy honor of defending you: he was a cheating dick that didn't deserve to be maritally bound to a woman such as yourself. "Wouldn't you get a divorce? I don't mean to be like...rude or anything but I would've thought that you're the type of woman to leave his ass once he cheats." And you were. Headstrong, confident, and self-assured—he's never seen an insecure model before, or maybe that's some weird stereotype he's made in his head unconsciously. "It's a tough situation." And that's all you have to say about your marriage. He nodded, understanding your reluctance to speak on the subject. He can't say he's any different from you either considering his marriage to Ada, the very reason he can't be with you. Especially so intimately. It’s hard. The safety of it all. Having someone next to you at all times despite the shitty relationship. He knew.

Now the bathroom is silent. You’re still doctoring up his wounds while he sits up on the marble counter-top. He really wants to say something until you step in for him.

“I can’t believe you fucked my husband up like that.” You say, pulling your hands away from his face to find some more antibiotic cream. He hates that he feels his head moving forward to get your hands back on him. Pathetic. He feels pathetic, especially considering he beat the dog shit out of your husband when you graciously invited him into your home.

“I’m sorry—“ He begins, you stop him once more.

“No. Don’t apologize. I was thanking you.” He nods again, finding the motion of moving his head back and forth too repetitive. “So, thank you.”

He boldly takes your hand in his own, squeezing it and kissing the palm—feeling like he’s turning into a crazy man when your fingertips brush against his lower eyelids and cheeks.

“You’re welcome.” He releases your hand from his own, feeling guilty for not saying more to you. He feels as if you deserve more than silence, and to be honest, with everything you've gone through this week, you definitely do. "I know I said it already but I'm sorry for saying that I wanted to—" He pauses, not wanting to be so crude with his wording but throwing caution to the wind as he had already fucked everything up so far. "Said that I wanted to fuck you, that's not fair to you nor your husband."

"It's okay if you do." His heart pulses in his chest at those words. He had expected you to ignore it, maybe slap him if you were really pissed. But you agreed? What the fuck, it's like he's living in a fucking alternate universe. "It's not a crime to find someone else attractive. The only thing wrong is if you act on it." That was true, but it never took from how much he dreamed about you. The times he's jerked himself off while thinking of your gorgeous body on his mind had grown to a disgusting amount. Hell, it's gotten to a point where he doesn't even fight it anymore and Ada being in the house used to stop him, but not anymore. He'll just go up to the bathroom and rub one out with your magazine in hand. "Then I guess I'm attracted to you." Your cheeks flush red at the admission, flaring a brighter color when his hand grips your hip once more. And tighter, too. Jesus Christ, the way this whole situation had been playing out like a steamy porno. First, your husband was gone in the hospital. Second, Leon was brought into your home. Alone. Third, he admitted he wants to fuck you. No, he has to resist. You were right. It's not wrong to be attracted to someone other than your spouse but you had him wanting to act. Wanting to drag you down to the marital bed you share with your husband and fuck you senseless. "So, do you want to stay the night tonight? Considering your car is broken down and everything." You ask, your tone beautiful and raspy like it always is.

Oh, God. He's gonna fuck you.

tags:@heylesamis, @sweetserial, @iloveyousomuch1989, @galactict3a, @m1sery-busin3ss, @ssulfurr, @julia13123, @nic-stars, @stillhavingdaddyissues, @greywardensaywhat, @ressespearlz, @xqlenkdy, @g0rep1ty, @nomorekerkanymor,

[aeth-eris]

TW : drug use, addiction, abuse, etc. basically a ramble of 12th house/square neptune energy. personal placements squaring neptune natally are more susceptible to addictions, struggles with escapism. + 12th house placements. may use music, naps, isolation, and depressants to cope and/or recharge. fans of meditation, as it helps with escaping from the usual drone of the mind. they seek to quiet the mind in order to escape it (very mercury in 12th coded i must say.) dissociation and depersonalization can be common. escaping into books, shows, movies to ignore reality. perhaps maladaptive daydreaming could be a possibility with these placements. vivid dreams and/or night terrors. hallucinations at night. sensitive to psychic attacks. needs protection via. the divine and/or the occult. spirits communicate to them via dreams. spiritual warfare warriors. self sabotage due to spiritual warfare (evil entities attacking through people around you.) feeling like you're under a fog 24/7. avoidant of reality in general. subconscious being your own enemy. (pluto in 12th specifically) truancy. (skipping school/college/work) can make amazing artists however. extremely intuitive due to sensitivity to energy. extreme adversity to drugs due to bad experiences can happen as well. trauma from drugs. social worker. drug abuse advocate. spirits playing tricks on you. fictional crushes to cope with reality. limerence. wanting to be in a higher realm. needs to learn about grounding. to be brought back to earth. prayer is important. savior/saved complex. usually gossiped about and/or bullied. seen as an easy target. hidden enemies. frenemies. being plotted against behind your back. paranoia of surprise attacks/betrayal. dark magic. evil eye. jupiter in 12th has a guardian angel. saved from death. near death experiences. third man syndrome. pluto in 12th tend to deal with hauntings, demonic energy that needs to be banished/purged, and obsessive hidden enemies. shadow work. use of divination.

mercury in 12th/gemini in 12th/virgo in 12th/6th ruler in 12th/3rd ruler in 12th - siblings/neighbors/coworkers are your hidden enemies. words can manifest = words are spells. drug addict/alcoholic siblings. sun in 12th - your father figure is your hidden enemy. abusive father figure/absent father figure. trauma from father/lack of father. agoraphobic. hates being perceived. prefers remote. father being a drug addict/alcoholic. moon square neptune - experiences with emotional abuse/gaslighting. emotionally delulu. gaslit by mom. mars square neptune - painted as the villain. framed. actions lied about. procrastination. deer in headlights. task paralysis. illusion causing hesitation. attacked in dreams. fights in dreams. help those who are traumatized, inspired from own trauma. - chiron in 12th - coming from a 12th stellium, moon sq nep, mars sq nep and yes, astrology can be very dark. life can be.

[hirarious]

All my tags :)

Bio - get to know me 🧬

Asks - some lil interactions❓️

All my works - everything I've posted so far 💪🏼

Series - some of my favorite vocabulary I'd like to share with the world ✨️

Hiraesthetic - collection of my aesthetics 🦋

Hiraphrodisiac - posts with mature content/nudity 💦

Poetry - all the poems I admire (mine and others) ✒️

Literature - string of words that tickle my brain 📚

Urdu - works in my mother tongue (اردو)

Coffee - just the best of the one thing I love most ☕️

Feline fatale - cats in all their glory 🐈🐈🐈

Quotes - words that are an archive of my grief 📜

Mental health - stuff that might help us learn about ourselves 🧠

Intimacy - various views on what love is 🫶🏻🖤

Art - works by wonderful humans I appreciate 🎨🎭

Rainbows - because I love them 🌈

Sparkly things - because I love them 🌟

Horror - any and all things spooky 👻

Dinosaurs - because I love them 🦖🦕

Sharks - because I love them 🦈

Manga - because I love it 📰

Anime - because I love it 💢👁👁

Jaan - all my favorite people 🌸

Funny - some giggles in the midst of all this seriousness 😹

Pakistan - my country 🇵🇰

Grief - posts that have helped me cope with this emotion 🫀

Words I wish he knew - things that were better left unsaid as my love was unrequited 💔🔗

Desi - bits about my culture 👞

Maladaptive daydreaming - posts about madd (for information about what it is - check the series tag) 💭

Limerence - posts about this attachment condition (for information about what it is - check the series tag) ➰️

Codependency - posts about this addiction condition (for information about what it is - check the series tag) 👥🚷

Masterlists [to be updated :)]

You can catch me here to know more about me

Don't hesitate to ask me any questions - I don't bite :)

hira • حرا