#demialterous

[dreaming-like-a-girl]

Let's go to the aquarium together and I can draw the sharks while you tell me facts like how sharks keep swimming even when they're asleep and you've got that excited look on your face and then we can go home to our house and cuddle on our couch while we watch our favourite shows and play video games and cook each other dinner and go to coles together and spend every moment of our lives together because the look on your face when you see me is infinitely more beautiful than all the sunrises we'll watch together

[the-aaaaa-battery]

Being aroace but also feeling a tertiary form of attraction (alterous attraction) was one of the most confusing parts of my identity to figure out. Before I knew what alterous attraction was, I only knew sexual, romantic, platonic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction.

I had a crush on one of my friends (and I still do). It made me kind of scared because at that point, I was 99% certain I was aroace, and I couldn't tell if I was experiencing romantic attraction or not. I didn't like the idea of dating and I didn't like the word "romance," and yet I also felt like I wanted to be more than friends with that person.

It wasn't until months after discovering I had a crush that I learned about alterous attraction. I liked the definition and I thought that if fit me best, so I started to use it to describe my crush. I felt way more confident using aroace again, because it felt right! And I had a way of explaining my feelings for my crush.

But oh my God, it was so hard to figure out.

Shoutout to people who are confused about their identity right now! Gender and sexuality is tough to figure out, but it's okay to question.

[ryanyflags]

Analterous / nonalterous / a-alterous (analt for short) flags part 1 :D (Due to the image limit, this is split into 2 posts.)

I noticed some a-spec flags were missing tertiary counterparts, so I made some. Some of these flags have already been made before, so they're not all original (I still wanted to have all the flags together in a set, and all in the same res).

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greyalterous | demialterous | aegoalterous

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non sam analt (1) | non sam analt (2) | neu analt

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analtvoid | analtflux | analtspike (1)

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analtspike (2) | analtjump | dark greyalterous

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light greyalterous | atomoalterous | delloalterous

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fictoalterous | cupioalterous | bellusalterous

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reciproalterous | lithoalterous | frayalterous (1)

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frayalterous (2) | apothialterous | orchidalterous

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myralterous | analtflexible

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I'll also note that some of these terms can have multiple names, with the "alterous", "analterous", "nonalterous", "a-alterous", & "analt" part being interchangeable. This isn't applicable to every term though. I also chose not to list everything to try to keep it brief. So for example, greyalterous can also be called greyanalterous, greynonalterous, and greyanalt.

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[A-spec flag sets masterpost]

[nightfallsystem]

demisexuals and demiromantics and demiplatonics and demiaesthetic and demisensual and demialterous and demiqueerplatonic and demi-anything people are so cool!!!! look at this post with your eyes if you agree :D

[ballsalsda]

Do yall hear me rn

[vlada-slavik]

LGBTQIA+ CAT PROFILE PICTURES [ pt 14 ]

Free to use, just credit if you can!

Don't see yours? Check the #lgbtcatpfp !

╚══《🏳️‍🌈》══

[genderstarbucks]

Demi- + Nonbinary Combos!!

Demiattraction

Demiromantic | Demisexual | Demiaroace

Demisensual | Demiplatonic | Demialterous

Demiqueerplatonic | Demisocial | Demian

Requested by @wafflenati0n

They originally just requested a demisexual + nonbinary combo but I was bored so I made some with all demi- flags

[flora-tea]

Update [8/6/2023] I decided to keep this post up despite originally feeling slightly insecure/uncertain about it. I was incredibly pleasantly surprised by all the positive attention it got! I also decided to update & polish it up a bit. Thank you all again sm! 💚

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:��.:💚

Some random rambling about part of my arospec awakening journey, because why not? xD

I was inspired by an aro poll related to aro peoples' feelings on romance. This is, in a way, my long-winded indirect way of answering the poll. I apologize for the length but I hope some can possibly relate to my experience!

One of several things I've fully realized & embraced about myself pretty recently is being on both the ace and aro spectrums. I also realized I tend to flux through feelings of being romance-neutral/indifferent, romance-averse, and romance-repulsed.

I'm averse-leaning in relation to myself and often find myself indifferent-to-repulsed in relation to others/fiction. For fiction in particular things get especially funky. Oftentimes, my feelings on romance and how I feel when seeing it can be pretty complicated and ambivalent!

For instance, I can appreciate and at times even feel warm fuzzies at thinking about or seeing affectionate gestures & intimacy commonly perceived as romantic (like kissing, [mutual] flirting, cuddling, slow-dancing, going on dates, lingering touches, holding hands, etc. {which btw, we as a society really need to normalize these things being seen in relationships outside romantic ones}) However, if a romantic relationship/attraction is the context and my brain is aware of that, that's when the apathy-to-discomfort feelings start creeping up on me. These feelings & their levels can also sometimes depend on the day or context, which is difficult to explain even to myself x'D

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

For a long time, I've often felt either apathetic or weirdly uncomfy upon hearing folks talk about their romantic relationships, whether irl or fictional. This was and still is especially felt if the people or characters are romantically engaged or married, as my mind has an especially uncomfortable relationship with marriage. I found I'd often experience the same feelings when seeing intimacy in a fully romantic context. I’d feel happy for them sure, but experienced an either empty or not-so-nice feeling gnawing at me. I couldn’t define it for the longest time (and just recently was able to realize what was going on, and was able to stop shoving it down or ignoring it).

For so long, I wondered if it was jealousy. Yet, during the very few romantic experiences I’ve had in my life, things felt pretty good and right until romantically dating/a romantic relationship was actually being established or in the conversation; then I'd start to feel progressively detached and anxious. And yet, I would sometimes still cling and push due to wanting to be desired affectionately. I chased what I was convinced was a love and yearning for romance. But deep down, I longed for days of being close and affectionate but in a more platonic or even ambiguous context, and I’d think “Maybe we moved into this too fast…”, even if I’d known & hung out with the person for years and even if things were going well. I also struggled to imagine myself in a lasting romantic relationship. I began sometimes wondering if something was wrong with me or if I "just had commitment issues".

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

A weird thing is (not weird in general as peoples’ feelings can be fluid/change over time!), I thought I loved romance for so long. I felt I loved the idea of romance for myself and in fiction/media. I even had favorite ships growing up and was a big shipper in general. Even so, looking back, the vibe I imagined was always primarily 'affectionate besties' and I often imagined the characters describing themselves as best friends and emphasis being put on their friendship, even while imagining them sharing gestures typically perceived as romantic. But I’d always feel progressively apathetic or averse after/if a romantic ship became canon. And when reading romantic fics (usually slow-burns), I’d love it up to the point characters established a fully romantic relationship; then I’d often start to feel detached. I never understood why. It was always so strange to me how my feelings changed.

*Additionally, when it comes to fiction/media;

Characters touching foreheads, holding hands, hugging, or dancing together always made me feel so much more joyous excitement compared to any [romantic] kissing scene

I always felt notably happy and cozy if characters continued referring to each other as friends/best friends after kissing or cuddling or anything else affectionate that folks tend to put in the "romance" box.

I liked when characters had what people call "romantic tension" or moments but the relationship remained considered platonic or ambiguous.

I liked when people described characters as having a "'romantic' friendship" before I even knew much about types of relationships

The only times I've felt any sort of joy and no discomfort in relation to the concept of marriage were if it was a mutual 'pretend marriage' trope between friends or done for any mutually non-romantic reasons (& if the concept of marriage is treated lightheartedly).

I often thought or felt the least about song lyrics with love songs, or I'd imagine the lyrics to be about best friends instead. (lately, I've found queerplatonic-ing love songs in my head to be surprisingly comforting)

💚:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:💚

Several things clicked and then hit me like a train after I was inspired to read more about the aromantic spectrum and discovered the existence of relationship anarchy and Queerplatonic relationships and tertiary attractions, and after I finally became aware of the Amatonormativity that was drilled into my mind since childhood.

I realized how amatonormative phrases like “just friends” and “more than friends” and “finding ‘the one’ someday” chained relationships to a hierarchy & continuously shoved into my brain this idea that romance was ‘the ultimate relationship’, that it was ‘the strongest/closest relationship a person could have’, that a relationship needed to be a romantic relationship for there to be intimacy/affection, that ‘being in love’ could only happen with romantic attraction, that a romantic relationship was ‘the goal’, that having (a) partner(s) was only possible with a romantic relationship, that romance was 'the ultimate devotion'. The amatonormativity constantly shoved onto us by society skewed my views on intimacy and relationships (and myself) for so long, as I know it does for so many people. To acknowledge that and contemplate on my realizations, to unlearn those mentalities, and to learn about the vast diversity of feelings and relationships and possibilities/options that exist, was freeing.

I also had an epiphany that brought me so much clarity: All this time, it wasn’t really romance I wanted/loved, it was love and affection and closeness in general, especially outside of romance intention/context.

Additionally, over time, I realized that what I want for myself isn’t to have a romantic relationship again, but I do love the thought of being in a Queerplatonic Relationship someday.

I also realized that overall, I feel most comfy with the idea affection/intimacy in tertiary attraction contexts (like platonic, queerplatonic, alterous, and nebulous/ambiguous)

With reality and fiction, the thought of intimately affectionate besties who'd confuse the heck out of much of our society brings me joy. I'd love to see more of that in the world, and perhaps experience it myself someday 💚

[pokemonprideflags]

There any way you could make a demialterous primarina? Ty :]

the demialterous flag color picked from primarina

[aspec-identities]

Demialterous

[Id. Image on the top of it is written demialterous in bold black text. On the left is the demialterous flag, it has 3 horisontal stripes the middle one is narrower than the other 2. Colours from top to bottom are white, light blue and grey. Theres a black triangle on the left side on the flag. On the right is written demialterous person doesnt experience alterous attraction to a person until they have developed an emotional connection to them. End id]

[dreaming-like-a-girl]

I have a friend who isn't part of my main friend group (most of whom are some flavour of gay/know about qprs/know my partner), and a few weeks ago she asked about my relationship and what a qpr is etc which she did so sweetly and listened so openly. Today when I saw her, she tried to ask how my partner is doing, but not knowing exactly what to call us or remembering his name, said, "how is your... lover that is a friend that you want to live with that has blue hair going?"

[the-aaaaa-battery]

Heyo! I have a question. Well, i wouldn't be here if i didn't, you get the point. How did you realize You were all of the stuff you are?

Well it definitely took a long time - a lot of questioning and doubting and worrying and all that.

Some of it was easy, like aroace. I noticed that I had a lot of different views on romance, relationships, and sex than what the people around me did.

Demialterous and neptunic were a lot harder to figure out. It took me a lot of research of labels, and when I got a crush on someone, I started seriously doubting my aromantic identity until I discovered alterous attraction. I’m a little less sure about neptunic, but for now, I think that’s the label that fits me best.

I think I started feeling like not my AGAB around 7th? grade. I felt some dysphoria that I had misidentified as “just being weird.” I used lots of different labels, such as demigirl, cassgender, and genderfluid, before settling on agender. I realized somewhere along the way that I didn’t feel like I fit anywhere on the gender spectrum. That I was disconnected to gender entirely. This led me to believe that I was agender - I simply did not have a gender at all.

In the end, these are the labels that make me feel good about myself! They feel like they fit, so I use them.

I hope I answered your question! And have a good day :D

[pkmn-edits]

Random Pokemon x random Pride flags edit!

[hyperfixation-or-death]

Romane Berthauds aesthetics + demialterous flag colors

Fandom: Parallels (Disney, 2022) | Rating: G | Warnings: Implied character death, and a very brief romance mention | Prompt: N/A

@arospecfanworksweek

Demialterous flag colors: White, black, blue, gray.

(The aesthetics turned out way more angsty than I meant them to, just because it was kind of tricky to find images that fit both the character and the color scheme.)

A kind-of fic with major spoilers ahead - my headcanon is that Romane has a whole identity crisis after season one.

_____________________________

She isn't sure how she feels about Sam or Bilal anymore. It's technically been years since she'd thought about a relationship with anyone. She had liked Sam when she was younger, before everything went wrong, hadn't she?

(Now that she thought about it, had it really been that different from how she felt about Bilal? She loved Sam, and Bilal, and Victor. But with Victor, it was closer to how she felt about Camille. With Sam and Bilal, it was more confusing, but a similar type of confusing. She wouldn't have been opposed to dating either of them. But was that the same as wanting to date them?)

Then he and Bilal had been gone, and then they were back. And then came the revelation of a future she had never considered. Then Sam's telling her the things he never had a chance to. But any relationship between them is in her past now, and she's still trying to process her alternate future, and for a brief moment, she can almost forget the present in all the mental chaos.

The moment is brief. Romane is a realist, and the only real thing now is the present, and in the present, Victor is the one who needs her help.

Then everything goes right for once, and she's fourteen years old again. And she kisses Sam, and it's nice. Bilal and Victor are there, because it was always supposed to be the four of them, regardless of if any of them were dating.

(Was she dating Sam now? Nobody had said that, but that was what usually happened after you kissed one of your best friends, right?)

Then they get their memories back, and Romane has never been so confused. She's seventeen. She's fourteen. Sam and Bilal are dead. They're sitting across from her. It's been years. It's been days. It's been three-and-a-half seconds, and all she has to do is open her eyes. Did she ever like Sam like that? Did she ever like Bilal like that? Did she ever like anyone like that?

(She didn't date anyone in the four years they had been gone for. That was because she had been grieving, wasn't it? She hadn't had any crushes on anyone, either. She also hadn't had any friends at all besides Victor, who she only saw on school breaks, anyways. Was any of this even relevant?)

Nothing made sense. Except for Victor. Victor always made sense, he was like the one constant in the mess of inter-dimensional complications that was her life. He was still her best friend, still like a sibling to her, and- he knew that, right? After everything?

She should make sure he knew that.

So they talk, and it eases some of the anxiety over everything. And she could probably chalk up most of the confusion to the disorientation from the time travel. So life goes on as normal. She dates Sam for about two weeks. They decide to stop after determining that she's really not in the right state of mind for a relationship right now. And it's fine. They're still best friends, all of them.

(Honestly, there isn't really much of a difference between dating Sam and not-dating Sam. Was there supposed to be a difference? They still loved each other. People her age - whatever her age was, after all that - weren't usually in love, right?)

Maybe she's supposed to date Bilal, eventually? A version of her married him, after all.

(The thought of marriage is...weird. She doesn't really want to think about it.)

Then, a few months after she and Sam stop dating, Victor says he has something to tell them. Sam has clearly already been told, because his expression is fond instead of curious like hers and Bilal's. Victor is grinning wider than he has in weeks as he explains. Aromantic. Someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction. Victor is aromantic, and his excitement is contagious.

Victor is kind of rambling, but they're all happy for him, so they listen. Romane was familiar with the concept of people not being straight, but she hadn't really given much thought to specific identities.

Victor's expertise on the matter comes from one night of internet rabbit-trails, so it's not exactly flawless, but it's still a decent amount of information. And a lot of words. Grayromantic. Frayromantic. Demiromantic.

(The last one was interesting. But just because she hadn't had a crush on anyone who wasn't a close friend didn't mean she never would, right? Besides, she didn't really talk a lot with anyone who wasn't either family or one of her three close friends.)

Eventually, though, she starts wondering. She was...those had been crushes, right? She knew what she had felt. She just wasn't sure if that was what it was supposed to feel like. She loved Sam, and she wanted to spend time with him. The same went for Bilal. But it wasn't like she wanted to be around them more than she wanted to be around Victor. And when it came to the whole idea of dating, she mostly felt...neutral? She was fine with it, she was fine without it.

She briefly wondered if that was normal. Then she decided nothing about her life was normal. Then she decided to stop worrying about it.

This worked for about three weeks. Then she texted Victor, partially because he was the one who had googled this kind of thing, and partially because he was the only friend she had that she was absolutely certain she had no romantic feelings for.

Two people doing research was faster than one. Alterous attraction. That phrase seemed to fit, but it wasn't exactly an identity. They typed it into the search bar.

Apparently, people could be bialterous. She didn't think she was bi, though. Then again, she didn't really have any friends who were girls, so there hadn't really been any chance for her to develop feelings. She mentioned that to Victor. He looked thoughtful, and asked if she'd ever had a crush on an actress or anything.

She told him that the only time she had ever thought she had a crush was with Sam and Bilal, and apparently those hadn't even been fully romantic feelings.

They did more google searches, and clicked on more links. Demiromantic came up again, but that didn't fit now that she was pretty sure she didn't feel romantic attraction.

(Alterous attraction kept sounding better the more she thought about it.)

It took a while to find a word that fit.

Demialterous. Like demiromantic, but for alterous attraction. It made sense.

(She still wasn't sure if she was bi, though. But that wasn't too important right now; she had a word, and she had the people she cared about, and she had time.)

Romane smiled.

[warriors-pride]

anyway you could make a demialterous, bellusromantic (sorrelgaze) leafstar?

[ryanyflags]

Can you do a lith and demi combo? For attractions

lith + demisexual | lith + demiromantic lith + demialterous | lith + demiplatonic lith + demisensual | lith + demiaesthetic

I assume you meant different types of attractions, so I combined the lith flag with different demi flags.

They all follow the same format. Since lithosexual and lithromantic use the same flags (and I haven't seen any particular flags for other lith attractions), all these use the same colors for lith. (I actually did end up finding other lith flags here, which happen to look like what I did with these combo flags, so it still all works out lol)

I rearranged the placement of the demi stripes to be on the bottom, with the top three stripes from lith. The dark grey triangle is a combination of the black triangle from demi and dark grey stripe of lith.

The color stripes at the bottom of each flag were changed to match their respective demi orientation.

Flags used,

lith- flag.

demi flags (they're in the same order as the combo flags above).