#demisexual issues

[a-yarn-of-purple-prose]

I got the demisexual moment today and now I'll have to live with the fact that there is 01 person I want to kiss. How do allosexuals deal with this happening more frequently than, like, once every 5 years?

[cannibalistic-deer]

It baffles me that I've seen people say "Alastor is canonically sex and touch repulsed" as a reason people "shouldn't" be shipping Alastor sexually/romantically.

Why assume that the sex repulsion applies to every relationship in his life, permanently? Some aces are sex favorable, or may develop more favorable feelings for specific people, even if otherwise repulsed.

And the same applies to touch repulsion. That's such a weak argument. Alastor canonically, and very clearly, is okay with or possibly even enjoys touch in specific situations. He does seem to be touch repulsed in general, but again, there are specific people it doesn't apply to. (Rosie is the best example, since with anyone else it is more brief, but Rosie touches him, and is the one initiating that, frequently.)

All types of attraction, or comfort levels with different manners of affection, are fluid. This isn't ever an excuse to invalidate real people who are telling you their identities, but it does mean that assumptions really can't be made about what a person would or wouldn't do.

And this type of thinking is what really leads to invalidating real people, because even if you think "being asexual means never having sexual attraction," and then an ace person shares that they think they might have experienced sexual attraction at some point but still identify as ace... then you have to be open to that. You cannot put sexualities in boxes. This applies to all sexualities.

I'm a fictive of Alastor myself, and I am sex repulsed, so I understand the discomfort, but I also understand that people are not harming any real, living person by making fanworks where Alastor is having sex. It also doesn't mean they're inherently rejecting his asexuality.

If people want to ignore Alastor being aroace completely, that's different. Alastor is canonically aroace (or asexual at minimum), and he always will be. But jumping to conclusions about what people think because you're too naive and stubborn to understand that sexuality and attraction doesn't fit into tidy little boxes is harmful and is a way of thinking that must be changed.

This became longer than intended because I was mostly thinking about the "Alastor is touch repulsed to everyone!" claims some people make, which are frankly incompatible with canon. But the rest of this post is also true.

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

(ln8 spoilers) jinshi thinking except for my godly looks i am just average and then his smartass goes and kills around five birds with just one brand. someone whose status is so high that even his name can't be said by anyone except the emperor jinshi branded himself with the crest of the empress vowing loyalty to her assuring her he doesn't wants to take the place of her son. one-upping his "bro" with this who refuses to let him leave the line of succession wouldn't let him become a commoner doesn't wants to let him become a servant to the royal family. only slaves get branded and if this ever got out there will be chaos in the court. gyokuyou tho considers jinshi like a brother and he did swear loyalty to her but if she ever tried to cross his family her clan's brand on his body would be enough to prove her as an adultress which would be bad for her and her clan.

and jinshi did this in front of these two people and maomao so now she is the only one who can see him naked and the emperor cannot order him to marry anyone which was something that was definitely gonna happen had he not done what he did. as a bonus he gets to spend more time with maomao after a long time and he did all this while saying the exact words: empress gyokuyou, your enemy i shall never be in front of maomao reassuring her because she once muttered i don't want to be an enemy to empress gyokuyou and he had heard her but before he could tell her that he had no intention of doing that either he couldn't because of the lishu incident. one of the major reasons maomao hadn't accepted her own feelings for jinshi one of the obstacles he promised to remove for her. even though he doesn't even know that maomao's concerns about her becoming gyokuyou's enemy had to do with his birth secret his true status. that no matter what he is the rightful successor. something jinshi himself isn't even aware of and yet without knowing that he did this to deal with it all in a single way most preferable to him: masochism

[monachopsis-11]

Children do not need to grow into being people, they’re already people and of course they have things to learn but they deserve to be treated with autonomy and respect. Especially queer and disabled children, we deserve better.

[deesi-academia]

i want to experience relationship stuff but without the relationship

[atsadi-shenanigans]

I’ve been procrastinating writing the next bit of Feeding Alligators (but still sitting on like 6-8 already-written chapters). Because we are getting to The Scene that I Wrote This for and it’s 😬 It’s angst. It’s not gonna be a fun time. It is going to be a bad, stressful time for a hot minute. And I haven’t psyched myself up to actually do it. (It’s angst with a happy ending I swear!)

But like, I don’t have work tomorrow, and I should really write this at home? In case I, y’know, get emotional.

Also I’m scared to post it.

[glorious-asexual]

oh! i just realized that i can make an actual poll with this question now!

im not sure exactly how to phrase it, so please read below for clarifications on the question

i wanted to get more specific with the answers but there aren't enough options, so definitely feel free to get specific in tags/replies if you want! I'd also appreciate this being spread around more please 💜

also, for clarities sake:

QPR - Queer or Quasi Platonic Relationship.

As far as this poll goes, "anyone" includes that both/all people who are part of it do not need to be aspec whatsoever. So 2 allo queer people, or 1 straight person and 2 queer people, or 2 straight people could be in a QPR (in the last case I believe that the Q would stand more for quasi than queer?)

[also: I'm not excluding aspec people as queer, but I'm separating them in these for clarity]

this is a good-faith question! please do not start fights on this post or in general. i just want an idea of what people think.

[alieliscious]

Hydra designs + V&V parents

Aspen and Veloura are high school sweethearts, and are adoptive parents to Velvet and Veneer

They tried to have kids the y'know way and failed so they turned to adoption, where they adopted V&V, where at some point they were dropped off by their bio mom(cuz I love that angst)

[suspiciouslybluemilktea]

This, in all honesty, was never what Unknown had intended to happen. This was not how things were supposed to go, and it confused him to the point he’d willingly chug endless vials of elixir just to chase the feeling away. And he did…almost every night he did. He pleaded for his body to listen to him and to strip him clean so this weak affliction would no longer plague his soul. Drowning never worked as a cure though, only pulling you closer as you stayed by his side in these moments where he tried to run from you. Unknown continuously poisoning himself was what led to the tip of the iceberg, and he had no idea what to do when you suddenly kissed him out of desperation.

From the start, you were nothing but trouble for him. You were supposed to be his stupid little Alice in this long game of revenge, with Unknown in the role of the white rabbit you chased out of curiosity. When exactly did everything flip to be the other way around? Why was he suddenly the one falling down the rabbit hole, trapped in a room filling with tears of confusion as nothing seemed to make sense? You were supposed to enter that apartment long ago, and yet here you are. In his lap and spinning his world into complete and utter chaos.

Being with you is nauseating. The way your hands work their way through his bleached hair as your lips meet is a horrible experience, for the reason that you make him so overly conscious of the slightest movements and bodily reactions. You strip him so easily of his control as you press against him, and for once he has no idea how to regain it. It pisses him off how his mouth can’t seem to contain some peculiar noises, noises he’s making just for you. His heart thuds, his lungs are about to burst, and he is angry at the uncomfortable temperature that spreads throughout his being.

Before you, he had never properly dwelled on the fact that he had never kissed someone before. He figured it would always remain that way, not capable of such intense feelings in the past. He had no interest in anyone, ever. Not in a romantic way, nor in a physical manner. But now…now he catches himself watching the way your lashes flutter shut when you’re tired, or the way your chest bubbles up with small laughter when he makes the world’s flattest joke. Now, he likes to stare too intensely at your lips as you talk, and lets his mind wander as he stops typing…and then proceeds to punish himself for doing so. This is a new weakness you have unlocked.

Unknown freezes, upset that he has no idea where to touch you and how to get you to react as you slide your cold fingers underneath his tank top. His lack of knowledge leaves him feeling vulnerable, and he’s missing his usual confidence he uses to prove himself strong. Should he follow by example and do the same under your shirt?

It’s when he decides to feel your bare spine that the atmosphere grows somehow tighter. It spurs you on to begin showering your affections onto his neck, and he decides that he can’t take anymore of it as his hands start to shake. You listen immediately as he stops you, and he is angry at your continuous respect for his boundaries when he displays almost none for yours.

Unknown cannot go that far with you. Unknown can’t take you into himself that deeply, nor will he ever. Unknown is nothing but a shadow, incapable of giving you any satisfaction with his ghost of a body and his cold bones for fingers. Unknown cannot feel, for he is nothing, and you are human. You deserve more than the kiss of your kidnapper, and he is afraid of what you do to him.

[mazyb0i]

I need advice or help or just some words of encouragement or analysis from other LGBT people please. 💙💚

Tldr; You have to read to understand because it's complicated

Hi guys! You may or may not know me as the super Rick & Morty / Solar Opposites obsessed fan artist but there's more to me than I let on.

I came here because I trust you guys and I wanna know what you all think. I'm Transgender, I identify as demiboy meaning that I'm half non-binary/Agender and half Trans Masculine. This March I turned 18 years old and my doctor gave me my HRT paperwork to look over and bring in signed when I'm ready. I've talked to my therapist about this for over a year, and I questioned my gender identity since I was 12, when I was 6 I never really thought about gender a lot to be honest I did everything under the sun that girls AND boys had done.

Other things to take into consideration is that I'm also diagnosed:

AuDHD (since 16)

Sever Generalized Anxiety Disorder (since 12)

Gender dysphoria (since 16)

Depressive Disorder (since 12).

I've been really adamant about transition since I realized who I was, around 13, it was a long and painstaking journey; full of loss and gain, disorder and chaos, pain and growth, but I made it through to the other side.

Now that I hold these papers in my hands, I'm scared to go through with it, what if I don't like some of the changes? What if people don't see me as who I am? What if I'm not accepted? What if my bullying gets worse? What if I wake up one day and realize all of this was a mistake and I was wrong? Even though it felt so right. I have a lot of dysphoria but I also don't always hate my body, because a lot of the time I see myself as genderless and it only becomes apparent to me that I'm not genderless when someone points it out and calls me "girly", "sissy", "missy", "ma'am", and the such...

Around trans people I feel like I belong, but sometimes I feel like I'm an imposter, what if my brain came up with all of this as a way to try and find a place to fit in because I fit nowhere? I know I'm Pan-demisexual, when I figured that out I never questioned it again. I feel like I roll with the LGBT people but I just feel so much comfort in the trans community.

I don't think I could live happily as a cis-woman. I hate the labels, I hate the pronouns, and if someone were to strip away my skin and all that was left was a white orb I'd say I was a nonbinary male person. I wish I was born the other way, things would have been so much easier, but at the same time I don't want to be a fully cis male if given the chance. I wish there was an in-between option, a lot of times growing up - I had hoped that I was born intersex; hell, I didn't really even know what intersex was, but I still wished it, I wanted it. I wanted to be the third and most rare option because that is who I felt I was. There's this gut-wrenching feeling that I get when I think about having to sign '• female/Woman' on a piece of paper. Because that isn't who I feel I am. But I also feel that what I am is an immovable and unreachable object that no one will ever be able to conceive or understand, and there's no way that I can reflect my understanding on to them.

I'm not going to go in at a very high dose, I know for sure I want top surgery even if my chest doesn't give me as much dysphoria as it did before my breast reduction, and I want to be happier in my skin. I want a deeper voice, I want the other changes that come with it and the only thing I really worry about is not actually being happy when it's all done and through. Not actually being what I am and looking as I am to others as I feel inside...

Anyways that's enough for spilling my guts, I just needed to talk to someone and I'm completely open with all ears if you guys want to share any input in or share any stories, regards, or advice. Honestly I could use people to talk to right now, I feel kind of alone, I feel like no one will understand me; And I don't know if it's just cuz of my autism, or my anxiety,.or if I'm just stuck in my head rn.

[grlofswords]

needing to be reminded that ur welcome at pride is so funny to me like u can literally just go no one will stop u

[ridiasfangirlings]

Hey so I was the one who gave this ask but erm I actually meant Non-binary Yata & Asexual Yata, like yata not having a gender and not liking sex when I said 'Sarumi AU' I didn't mean Non-binary Fushimi, I just said Sarumi au because I know you also get Misaru asks and I'm not a huge fan of that dynamic so I put Sarumi AU, but never meant it as Non-binary Fushimi & Asexual Yata. (I'm hoping this didn't sound rude or anything)

Aaaaahhh sorry anon, that one was my fault ;; I have no idea how but my brain thought that ask read ‘non-binary Fushimi and asexual Yata’ and I don’t know why, I had to go double check after I got this one and was like ‘how did I even miss that?’. So! Since this one was my fault I’m gonna answer this one out of order so you still get your place in the queue properly. Non-binary Yata is interesting, I feel like Yata is a fun character to explore with different identities because canon indicates he’s not really good with computers or online a lot and I think especially as a kid he would have less exposure to different identities so I see him struggling a lot with a thing he knows but can’t vocalize (also again, just using ‘he’ for convenience sake. I could see Yata going for more of a ‘he/them’ pronouns, though on that end it’s much easier to use non-gendered language in Japanese so he might not even really need to ‘pick’ a pronoun, everyone just uses neutral language for him).  In this case I could see that actually being part of why he has all these masculinity issues, because he’s increasingly aware that he doesn’t really feel like a guy and he’s desperately trying to hide it, overcompensating by trying his hardest to be aggressively manly so no one thinks he’s weird. I could see his only exposure to trans people being like unfortunate comedic stereotypes on TV so any idea that he could be a girl also doesn’t work for him (and then at the same time even without those stereotypes he doesn’t feel like a girl either, he just thinks that if he’s not a guy then girl is the only option and he rebels aggressively against the idea).

It’s in meeting Fushimi that Yata really starts to realize who he is, imagine Fushimi not only being supportive of Yata but also the one who kinda realizes what’s going on. Fushimi can be perceptive when he wants to be (and especially in situations where he himself isn’t directly involved) so I could see some time shortly after they’ve become friends when Yata’s putting on a show of masculinity and Fushimi clicks his tongue and calls Yata annoying. Yata’s a little hurt by that and Fushimi says it’s annoying, when Yata keeps putting on this fake show that Yata himself doesn’t even believe, how bothersome. Yata realizes that Fushimi’s seen through the whole thing and imagine him kindly nervously admitting it, that he doesn’t feel like a man. He quickly adds that he’s not a girl though and Fushimi scoffs: ‘why do you have to choose one or the other? Idiot.’ Up until this moment Yata’s never even thought about that, that he doesn’t have to make a binary choice, and this is really one of the big moments where I could see him just falling for Fushimi all over again because Saruhiko is that amazing, finding the answer to the question Yata’s been struggling with for most of his life.

So then post-ROK Yata has a whole new crisis with realizing that it’s not just that he’s a virgin, or nervous about sex, it’s that he’s simply…not interested in it. I could see this bringing back his old worries from before he realized that he was non-binary, like maybe this is another thing that’s weird or wrong about him and he doesn’t like this because he thought he was finally comfortable with himself. Imagine he tries to force himself to ignore these feelings though, because he does love Saruhiko and he doesn’t want Fushimi to think Yata isn’t attracted to him or anything. But then when things start getting hot and heavy Fushimi suddenly pulls away from Yata with a tongue click. Yata asks what’s wrong and Fushimi coldly says if Yata was going to fake it he should just say so. Yata tries to argue but Fushimi’s already getting dressed and leaving.

Afterward Yata’s really upset, feeling like this is his fault for being weird (and also aware that Fushimi absolutely thinks that Yata’s issues were because there’s something about him, not that Yata doesn’t care for sex in general). This would probably turn into one of those ‘Kusanagi/Homra alphabet teach Yata what asexuality is’ moments, and Yata is again amazed because there are all these things about himself that other people have felt too and it’s kinda cool, realizing that there’s a word for what you feel. I also think it would help him a lot to learn that asexual people can still have and even enjoy sex, it’s just that it’s not something he actively desires. I like the idea that someone tips Fushimi off about this conversation too so when Yata gets back to his apartment later Fushimi is there being all awkward and trying to avoid apologizing but looking like he wants to. Yata feels this rush of relief that Saruhiko still came back after all and they get to sit and have this talk, imagine Fushimi being like didn’t I already have this with you when we were in middle school. Yata’s like yeah but that one was different, smiling as he says even if he isn’t interested in sex himself that doesn’t mean he hates it or anything, maybe just take it slow, and that Fushimi’s gonna need to learn to be honest if that’s what he wants from Yata because Yata doesn’t want Fushimi to think that Yata doesn’t care just because Yata’s way of expressing love is different.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Oh. Ohhhhh. That scene, um. It got really heavy, y’all. It’s a scenario that I suspect other people on the ace spectrum are familiar with? This is not a fun time.

[worstloki]

love when people say a character is [NAME]sexual and never has looked at / never will like anyone else because i know they're going to call it 'monogamy' or 'loyalty' but i personally like to call it 'this character is on a spectrum'