#did anyone think they'd deal with shit like this because they like a stupid fucking game app? lmao it's laughable to me.

[jerzwriter]

Here’s a food for thought in regards to your dirty secrets which are NOW out in the open:

You’re the fakest fucking bitch ever in Tumblr to ever exist along with your precious Jamespotterthefirst and your little crew. You love to bully others who don’t write Open Heart fanfiction but yet you bully others who write “Laws of Attraction” fan fiction and hate on the book. By the way, @flowernewsqueen is the “Queen of Laws of Attraction” skills and she’s much more better than you. Do not act like you don’t know her because she’s a gem in the fandom over on instagram. So go fuck yourself for talking shit about her and anyone else who loves the book.

You ruined everything with the characters of Ethan Ramsey and Tobias. Get help you fucking cunt.

Uh... Nonny... sweet, sweet Nonny... you may want to have your meds adjusted. No shame in that game, really. I do it when needed, and I suggest you should too. Trust me.

This is my face at the moment because:

a) I bully those who don't write OH? Uhm. OK. I actually write for stories other than OH and want to expand on that... and I spend an insane amount of time running CFWC to support all Choices creators. But you listen to those voices in your head, boo. Like - what do you do to support anyone else in the fandom? Send sweet messages like this? It's unimpressive, honestly.

b) I hate Laws of Attraction? Really? That's news to me. Like, do I hate ham sandwiches too? Because that's just as fucking random. I have no issues with LOA, and even if I did, I wouldn't begrudge anyone else the right to enjoy it - much less bully them over it. Truly. Baffled.

c) I don't know the writer you refer to. I am almost never on Instagram; I only created an account there to support artists who aren't on Tumblr. Like, what kind of weed are you smoking, Nonny, and if it's that fucking good, can you share it with the rest of the class? Don't be stingy.

Babydoll, I'm here trying to determine if you have really bad sources if you were dropped on your head, or both... because you're buggin'. If attention was your goal - well - I apologize for giving you any. You won't get any more...but I decided not to delete this because it is just SO FUCKING RANDOM and I'm in my Reputation era - so I don't give a fuck.

Oh, and being fake? Bitch. Call me a bitch. Call me crazy. Call me whatever you like. Opinions are like assholes, we all have one, and the majority of them stink. But fake? I'm me in all my ridiculousness and proud of it. I parade my crazy out on the front porch and serve it sweet tea in plain view - hope it provides a little entertainment. I'm not some pretentious little c*nt trying to act like something I'm not. Mirror, sweetheart - get to a mirror. Fast.

You must be really bored or need a new hobby. Go outside, man. See a movie. Attend a concert. Visit a friend. Get Laid. Touch some grass...anything... because you're off your fucking rocker.

[girlactionfigure]

THE HOLOCAUST WAS IN COLOUR

I woke up today in Jerusalem to the sound of a siren marking Yom HaShoah - Holocaust Memorial Day. The fucking Holocaust. This thing that's there. This thing that every Jewish kid has to learn about far too young. There’s no good age to learn about it. It takes away an innocence whatever age you learn.

It's a lesson of: actually - the worst shit can happen.

Actually - the worst shit did happen.

Actually the worst shit could happen again.

There is no objective proof of God - but Auschwitz did happen. It’s difficult to remain idealistic about human beings after that. If tales of individual acts of heroism that emerged from the Holocaust are supposed to give us solace and an after-taste of hope, the bigger question is what is it that makes these tales such anomalies?? What is it that prevented every person from being a hero? And why did it happen in the first place?

Visiting Auschwitz ruined part of me. It really did. Even before visiting, all that bullshit ruined part of me. I remember seeing images on TV as a kid and that ain't healthy. To see ghouls hanging on barbed wire. Piles of skeleton and flesh. I don't see how it can't ruin anyone if that's you and your kind they were gunning for. The idea that people murdered you because you were born you. The idea that your fellow countrymen turned round and said: actually you're not one of us. Or turned a blind eye, buttoned up their lips, gazed down in silence and left you to deal with it on your own. It's not like this puts joy in your heart. It puts something in your heart that I can't explain. It puts in your heart the sensation that some people don't want your heart to beat. And that's a confusing feeling for any heart: a nexus of emotions. A paralytic, existential moment. The loneliest heart, scarred by barbed wire and frost.

The fact that I can only trace my family tree back a few generations has always gnawed at me. I can only go back so far and then there's nothing. Just a black hole. Part of my connection with planet earth has been blotted out for good. I've been disinherited of my roots - from knowing the specifics of who I am and where I come from.

A few years back I visited Auschwitz - this massive shithole in Poland. And it's not like this death factory could have been a secret. There's no way. People knew. It's huge. It just goes on and on. And there's something weird about it. And you can't quite figure it out. And then you realise - it's all in colour. It's not in black and white. The images we're used to seeing of Auschwitz are black and white. And as horrific as those images are they provide a safe, historical distance. It appears a bygone world far removed from us. But it's here in colour and it's the same world we inhabit. The same air, the same trees, the same rain falling. And the human beings would have been in colour too, with red blood cells and capillaries and hearts beating like ours. They weren’t creatures from yester-year, they were modern human beings with the same body parts and feelings. And they were murdered by modern human beings who also had the same body parts and who probably loved their children and kissed their partners goodnight.

There's more I could write. I could write about mountains of shoes. I could write about piles of hair. I could write about buttons and cutlery and possessions that emerge from the mud in the rain. I remember having a stupid back and forth in my mind over some buttons I found which I put back into the mud. I had this stupid thought that maybe I should have "liberated" the buttons rather than leave them in that shithole - but then thinking that would be stealing? But would it be stealing if they'd been stolen by scum and were now being "taken back" in a spirit of love and solidarity by someone on their side? “Liberating buttons.” Stupid stuff. Ridiculous thoughts that you can somehow do something correct to rectify what happened here and bring some kind of harmony. In the end I left them. The buttons were stolen and they don't belong to Auschwitz - but they belong to the memory of what happened there - so they can at least continue to speak from the mud to anyone who sees them.

If I'm honest, part of me wishes I hadn't visited the place. I came away angry and it killed any absolute faith I have in human beings. As I say, individual tales of heroism and defiance aren’t enough to justify true optimism. They're a plaster to cover up the deeper sickness of who and what we are as a species. There's something worrying about human beings and our capacity for cruelty. A species whose children pick the wings off flies, combined with a propensity to herd mentality, is dangerous. It should trouble all of us. I don't know how we overcome it, keep it restrained, or collectively channel it toward a universally agreed direction that’s aimed at goodness.

If I have one reflection on whatever nonsense it is I'm writing it's this: I think there's a violence in human beings. There is violence in the human soul. There is violence and there is cruelty. But more than that there is fear. Despite our songs and poems, I'm not sure love is the most powerful force on earth. There’s a strong argument to suggest fear is the primary driving force behind the actions of the animal we call a human being. It's fear of freezing to death that causes us to build shelters. It's fear of going hungry that causes us to stock food. It's fear of being ostracised that causes us to ostracise others. It's fear of ridicule that breeds conformity. It's fear that causes people to keep their heads down. And when the moment of danger comes? When the tyrants enter? When the bullies arrive? It's fear that causes people to not speak up. To turn a blind eye. To let someone else take the bullet. People can bombastically jump on the bandwagon and say "never again" but it’s tough to find your voice when face to face with a bully. People can say never again but it’s tough to square up if someone has raised their fist and shown they will use it. It’s tough to be brave when the moment comes and there's so many thoughts going through your mind and your brain and adrenalin decides it's best to shut down and stay quiet for the sake of self-preservation. It’s tough to do good things in this world because the bad things are loud and scary and intimidating. It’s tough for people to rise above fear. There’s a reason why heroes are called lone heroes. They’re uncommon.

That's why it's good to be writing this from Israel where Jews are once again in their ancestral home, the place they forged an indigenous civilisation many thousands of years ago before the Babylonians and Romans forced them into exile. A place where they can ensure that "Never Again" is not left in the hands of a species that pulls the wings off flies. Google the Evian Conference - visit Auschwitz yourself - survival is not a game to be left in the hands of others or based on the strength of promises. Because there's always a chance that when the chips are against you and you call out to friends or others for help, you could be left hanging around wondering when they'll arrive?

And the answer might be:

Never. Again.

So. Anyway. It's 5pm. I need a piss. Then I'll probably eat some bread. A siren went off this morning. Just one final thought before I have a wee. I say that any absolute faith I have in human beings is lost. And that's true. Yet every day I experience such joy at existing. I love walking about, talking to people and connecting with souls cut from the same cloth. I like nature and I like looking at things and if I didn't love science so much I'd probably be a new age nut hugging trees and trying to kiss ants. Being alive is the most beautiful thing I've experienced to date.

And as embarrassed as I am to say it would you look at me trying to finish on a positive note?

Maybe there is something stronger than fear?

The persistant impulse to seek blessings in a world full of curses. The sheer chutzpah of life. The defiance. Not to vanquish the darkness, but to live in spite of the darkness. I can handle a world where Auschwitz took place if I also get to live in a world where there are people I love. I can handle a world where there’s horror if I also get to laugh now and then. And the fact that love, laughter and happiness can blossom in a world where the worst can happen - and has - must count for something. Deep down the impulse to go in search of life’s blessings is within all of us. It’s part of who we are. It’s why we get up each morning. We have to have faith that all will be well even when logic, history and common sense says otherwise. Actually it’s not even a question of faith. We have no choice. I think hope is hardwired into all of us. Deeper than fear. We are a creature that hopes. And sometimes, with the right wind behind us, at the right tide, we make those hopes come true. Sometimes, if you will it, it is no dream.

Lee Kern

This was written in Jerusalem in 2015 on Yom HaShoah - Holocaust Memorial Day

[transwicky]

Ollie and Wicky eloped.

Everyone feels offended and they think maybe the others got invited but the truth was nobody did.

They eloped winter break junior year, but everyone thinks they got married after graduating.

Until Bitty is stressing out planning his and Jack's wedding and Ollie is like "this is why we eloped junior year" and Bitty freezes and stares at him.

"Junior year?"

"yeah. My student visa was expiring for the year and we had plans to get married anyways, so Pace' suggested eloping earlier than planned so I could get a green card. Fuck, Tango was literally the only one there as our witness and to tell immigration "yeah they genuinely love each other, it's kinda gross how in love they are with the PDAs" so. We never had a real ceremony, just did paperwork for it. It helped that we were broke college students who had been dating since our freshman year."

Bitty is floored.

He texts the others asking if they knew.

They are all HORRIFIED to know they've been thinking the worst of Ollie and Wicky when the only person who went was the freshman that was the honest and genuine tadpole that Wicky pretty much adopted, and probably because there was no way immigration would not believe the kid.

Bitty hesitantly asks if they'd want a ceremony, and Ollie shrugs.

"it's not a big deal to me overall. I think it'd be nice, but I don't need one. I think Pacer would like it though, but his family is also kinda fucked up so I don't know for sure how he'd feel about it. I've offered though. He said no."

Bitty asks Tango.

"He and his cousin planned their weddings when they were eight, Bitty. He wants a ceremony. He doesn't need one, he knows that, but he wants one, he just doesn't want Ollie to think it's something he needs to do to like, prove they love each other or something. It's from the fucked up childhood. His mom was kinda stupid. Said weddings were proof that they love each other. So Wicky says no when Ollie offers 'cause he remembers that and doesn't want Ollie to feel like he has to do it as proof, because he already knows Ollie loves him. It's stupid. People are stupid. Why are people so stupid?"

"Good Lord, that's the million dollar question, Tango."

And so he talks things out with Tango.

Tango gets in touch with Wicky's cousin.

She gives him the old baby wedding planner they did as kids, and the one Wicky had started when he and Ollie first made plans to get married after graduation (the baby one was for cute little laughs at what 8 year old Wicky wanted, it wasn't actually what Tango asked her for. Nobody is complaining).

She sits Ollie down. Tells him what their moms told them as kids, and that Wicky will never tell him he wants a ceremony because of it, and especially since they're already married.

So Ollie has to finish planning things. They can have the ceremony on the day they actually got married ("Make it romantic! He'll love it!") And it can be in their backyard, even ("where doesn't matter, so long as the people you both care about are there!").

SMH is invited, that much is clear.

Bitty is Ollie's best man, Tango is Wicky's, because Ollie knows Wicky wouldn't want anyone else there unless it's Johnson (which is true).

But Johnson is allowed to wed people legally, they have no idea why, but he can, and Ollie knows Wicky would LOVE that.

The ceremony really is in the backyard, and it's covered in snow, and Wicky comes home from work to their friends and families over and holy shit Ollie did all of this?!

And his dad just grins, gives him the suit he got married in, and his own father got married in, and his father had married in, and Wicky is crying by the time he's standing with Ollie at the end of the aisle, with Tango as his best man, and Johnson is the one marrying them.

He whispers thank you before Johnson starts talking.

It's absolutely everything he could have wanted for their wedding.

[not-goldy]

OMG GOLDY, your post where you mention catching a grenade for the one you love. I can't stop thinking about a few months back when Jk was going through his missing Jimin spiral & during one of those lives, he sang Bruno Mars Grenade. Its so painful to listen to him. He wanted Jimin so bad while he was super duper busy & now we know Jikook have had this planned out for a while, enlisting and going through the process for a while. He really meant that song, every fucking word of it.

Also Jikook are fucking geniuses. Some said they thought they were laying low publicly cause of MS & now it seems true. They didn't want added attention cause they were going through the process behind the scenes. They weren't about to gay out. Taking separate planes to meet up. Smart as fuck. Jk however, couldn't keep his emotions in check & kept going rogue on their plan & started doing his Jimin lives. Doing online stuff Just enough to let us know everything was great, even if we weren't seeing them together. Jk timing his lives when JM leaves & posting pics for Jimin to comment. You sneaky little shits. Its all deliberate. Jikook keeping it online, even though we know they were meeting up behind closed doors, due to things they were saying and things they were working on, that was picked up by k-army. Like Jimin talking about them drinking together or Jk mentioning Jimin moving his stuff. Never underestimate queers in the closet. They always get their message across. Now that the process is over and it seems to be a done deal for them. Now look. Jikook took that plane TOGETHER to Tokyo (no more separate planes) and went on one last vacation together. No more worries cause it's most likely set in stone them enlisting together and the hard part is over and now nothing can hinder it now. Damn, that must have killed Jikook having to watch people claim they weren't close after Chapter 2. Don't those people feel stupid.

I also wonder if this is why Jk tried to say that J on his finger above the M is for Jk, cause its too obvious going into Military with a big ass J M on his wedding ring finger, knowing he is enlisting with JM. Interesting.

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

The closet can feel so safe and miserable at the same time. Imagine the source of your security also being the one thing chipping away at your mental health and sanity.

I don't wish that on anyone.

But it's also the safest place we could ever be.

Jungkook should have been more creative than he was coming up with that cock and bull story about the JM.

When you think about how Jimin had to fight Namjoon on stage when he called him JM the whole Jm on his hand start to feel even more sus than it already is.

Like how did that conversation go?

Jk: Guys look, I tattooed my initial on my ring finger above Army. It's J for Jungkook. Not Jeon. Jungkook.

Bts: wait a damn mininute that spells..... JM not JK

JK: HOLD ON IT DOES? HUH.... THAT'S WEIRD

Jimin: don't look at me my name is J.I.M.I.N not JM

Those two are accomplices 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

I want the interview where someone asks them about the JM thingy again cos it's too in our faces not to notice and surely he's seen it, noticed it- like did the thought never occur to him his hand makes so much sense if it was attached to Jimin's wrist? Cos I swear if people didn't know him and you showed them that hand they'd assume that was Jimin's hand since it had his initials on there.

If I were a director at Hybe, I'd set them up and let them talk about it head on and make a joke out of it with Jimin stating for the camera- Jungkook is obsessed with me he even has my name on his finger.

I mean he said he's always thought Jk was his copy cat it would make so much if he escalates it into obsession cos that's where we at now🤧

Imagine people start calling him JM instead of JK because they think that's his name🥲💀

[moons-cozy-corner]

Rescued Pt.4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

TW: hospital setting, mention of past torture, angry outbursts, paranoia

Villain had gone back to silence. Hero had almost cried hearing Villains voice again after so long, and an apology at that... but now he was back to laying stiff in bed, his eyes clenched shut and his jaw clenched. Like he was trained to just sit, to barely exist.

It wasn't fair. Whatever Whumper had done to Villain to make them like this had to have been horrible. Four fucking years Hero searched for their partner to find this. Four years of torture and pain Villain had to endure.

Hero had spent so many nights awake thinking about Villain. Thinking that he was dead. Losing hope was easy after a couple weeks. Then months and years passed and soon Hero was the only one left looking.

They'd told him --begged him-- to stop searching. He didn't, and now here Villain was. How much of Villain, Hero didn't know. But some of him was still in there. Somewhere.

For now, at least, all Hero could do was wait. Sit there and make sure his darling was safe and sound. That was all that mattered. That shouldn't be a problem anymore. Not that anyone would hurt them anymore. Superhero had gone crazy, sure, but was taken care of now. Whumper had a life sentence. Fucker wouldn't be near Villain ever again.

A knock at the door startled Hero out of his thoughts. "Erm- Hero, sir," the nurse whispered, looking nervously over to Villains stiff figure. Oh no. "I'd like to speak with you in the hallway, if you don't mind."

He nodded, of course, standing and following the nurse into the hallway. As soon as he closed the door Hero's hands started trembling. "Is Villain okay?"

"Villain is just fine. He's on a steady road to recovery from his injuries. It's... something else. You may want to sit down, sir." He obliged. The nurse took a deep breath, and Hero took the chance to steel himself, too. "There's been an alert... Whumper's escaped custody."

He looked at her in shock. "Wha-where are they? Why- how did they- what?" He jumped from the chair, nearly grabbing at the girl in front of him before stopping himself. Deep breaths. He ran a hand over his face before turning back to the nurse. She looked about ready to cry. "Shit- I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me. What security measures can we implement to make sure Whumper doesn't come after Villain?"

There was a bit of silence, the nurse steeling herself to give the news. "I'm not sure, Hero, sir. The hospital is refusing to care for Villain anymore. For, um, security reasons. Perhaps... take him home? O-or perhaps to the Organization headquarters?"

This couldn't be real. Whumper was roaming the streets, the hospital was kicking Villain out. And in this state? What assholes. "Fine. Great. How am I going to get him out of here, then? He won't talk, won't move, won't even open his damn eyes." Hero gripped his hair, turning around. Holding himself together was impossible. He didn't fucking care anymore. "You can't fucking do this! You can't just- you can't kick someone out of the fucking hospital! He needs help for Christs sake! Can't you see that?" His fists flew out, one hitting the wall behind him, one flailing about desperately in front of him.

Around him people were staring. Doctors stood around, ready to intervene. Great. Now you've made a scene. Hero scoffed before turning and walking back to Villain's room. They'd uncuffed him after the incident with Superhero, mainly because it was her stupid idea in the first place. Now Hero was in charge. That was another issue Hero now had to deal with. Hero had been next in line to become head of Organization for a while. Until he was officially promoted the Organization would be in shambles. A chaotic mess. And Hero also had Whumper to deal with now…

The Organization headquarters was their only option.

A doctor brought in a wheelchair to take Villain away in. Villain didn’t fight the movement as Hero transferred him onto it. Didn’t even flinch.

“Villain, dear, can you hear me?” Hero lay a blanket over Villains lap. It was thin and not very soft, but at least it was something. Hero tried tucking it in, tried touching his dreary face, tried patting his shoulder. Nothing fazed them.

They were still as Hero led him out of the hospital and helped him into his truck. Organization Headquarters was about a half an hour away, and Hero didn’t know what to do. Should he play music? Villain used to love it when Hero base boosted his favorite CD. It would probably just cause his lover to panic now.

He put the CD on anyways, ensuring that the volume was low. Hero pulled out of the hospital and began the drive to headquarters.

The drive was awkward, to say the least. There were so many things Hero wanted to say to Villain, all of them shoved back down in his throat at the mere sight of the other. It made him want to cry. So he turned the radio up. Just a little.

After that Hero sort of zoned out. It would have been wise for him to pull over, but he didn't care. He couldn't care. Then he heard a low humming that pulled him from his lulling thoughts.

It was Villain, humming softly to the music, his head lolling back and forth. Hero started crying, although silently, and did everything to keep his attention on the road, even though his vision blurred.

The humming stopped abruptly. "...Hero?" The voice was so quiet, Hero almost thought it was a trick of the wind. Looking over he could see Villain's eyes clenched, tighter even than before, but his mouth opened again. "Are... your truck, it- the windows are t-tinted, ri-right?"

He remembered the truck. He remembered the song. He was amazed. "Yes, dear, the windows are still tinted. Just like before." Hero's attention went from the road to Villains face every few seconds, back and forth and back and forth, almost dizzying. But he saw it. Saw him open his eyes, slowly, red rimmed and nearly crazed, but open.

Tears started to fall. There was no crying, just droplets of grief pouring from his eyes. The Hero's, too. "Hero, I ca-can't-" Hiccups and sobs racked their body. "Whumper, they-I can't, I have to-"

Hero pulled over. "Woah, slow down. It's alright, love, you're safe. Take some deep breaths with me." Hero took Villains hand and rested it on their chest. Up and down, Hero made deliberately exaggerated breaths to help their beloved Villain back into a calm state of mind. "Whumper is not here. They can not hurt you. I am here. Right here."

"Say my name," he blurted out. It took Hero aback, but of course he obliged. Anything for him.

"Villain. Your name is Villain. Villain, this is what you want?" He nodded vigorously, desperately. "Villain. I've got you Villain. Okay?"

He leaned his head against his head rest, resting his eyes again. "I'm... I'm Villain, not..." He trailed off. "I'm scared."

Now it was Hero's turn to sob. "I know, love. Villain." He led Villains other hand to his chest as well, slowly as to not alarm the other. "But you're here now. I've got you. I won't ever let go."

tag-list:

@alwaysalilhigh @nicolepascaline @whumped-inc @littlespacecastle @hollowgast1 @edkore @ramadiiiisme @writereleaserepeat @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @robinwrites @aswallowimprisoned @whumblrwork

[konnorhasapen]

How I think the Redacted listeners are with 💫kids💫

First post I've done like this and I had fun.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Angel: Has an equal energy, so keeping up with them wouldn't be difficult for them. Actually knowing how to take care of them is why they're thankful Google exists. And Baabe.

Baabe: Needs to put them in a jail corner while they make a list of activities. Makes a call to Asher asking if he can hit Michaels on the way home. Keeps the Clorox wipes and other cleaning spray in a spot they can get to it easily (but not the kids) because children are unsanitary. Secretly prays they're never asked to babysit, but they're capable of doing it and can be very well trusted.

Sweetheart: Not a fan, but is good at entertaining them. They do like playing hide-and-seek with them though.

Darlin': Would not fucking touch them. Would not go near them. But they did lose their shit when they'd see kids play stupid games and win stupid prizes. Nowadays they're a little more open to playin' around with the kids in the pack and "for some reason" the kids always wanna play jungle gym on them. They're a bad influence on some days, and the wise "don't fucking do that stupid thing bc I did that stupid thing and this is what it gave me" one on others.

Lovely: Doesn't spend much time with kids, but they wouldn't be terrible with them. Would they need someone else to supervise them? Perhaps.

Freelancer: Honestly amazing with kids. It's them and Hux who are do the most for them<3

Lasko's listener: They seem like The Mom Friend(gender neutral), so I feel like they'd be great with kids.

Bright Eyes: Dropped one. (Fred caught the child, don't worry-)

Cutie: Could be trusted with kids, would not want to take care of them.

Honey: Not really a kids person. Anyone who knows them wouldn't jump to ask them to babysit unless it was an emergency (and they would do it.)

Smartass: Definitely not a kids person.

Babe/Baby (Ollie's listener): They'd be good with kids.

Sunshine: Pretty good with kids, even better when Eli is there to help out :)

Starlight: Idk about y'all but they don't feel like a kids type of person to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (besides, you can't really babysit if you're stuck in Meridian hell-)

Bestie/Dreamer: ...I don't think I'd want them near any children given the new theories coming out that I absolutely agree with-

Seer Obscura: Not mentally well enough to deal with them💀

Warden: Kids? Ew-

Asset: Better than Warden, but has little experience.

Baby 1.0: Would be okay with kids.

Baby 2.0: Would also be okay with kids.

Precious: Don't trust them with your children. Something might happen💀

Love (Anton's listener): Would be amazing with kids. Have you seen their plants??

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

If I missed anyone just scream at me lmao

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote a wholesome scene of Rick comforting Morty when Jessica rejected him.

Rick barged into Morty's room as usual and shouted "Mor-*burp*-ty! We gotta-" He paused when he saw Morty's face buried in his pillow, and heard his muffled sobs, he gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, he was never good with this touchy-feely stuff.

He shuffled over to Morty at a snail's pace "Uh....you good buddy?" Rick asked, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting at the foot of Morty's bed. Morty lifted his head from his pillow and sniffled "O-oh sorry, Rick. Y-yeah, I'm fine. Totally fine." Morty wiped away his tears and put on a meek smile that couldn't even fool Jerry. Rick sighed and rolled his eyes "Yeah, because peo-*burp*-ple who are totally fine always have bloodshot eyes and snot pouring out of their nose, really convincing buddy. Just t-*burp*-ell Grandpa what's wrong." Morty looked away "It's nothing!" The crack in Morty's voice wasn't fooling anyone. Rick sighed, he knew that if Morty was upset about something, he wouldn't put in his best effort, besides, he didn't have a frozen heart- ok maybe he did. But he wasn't completely heartless, yet. Rick sighed "Just tell me what's wrong buddy." Rick insisted. Morty sighed and rubbed his arm while looking down "Fine...just promise me you won't laugh." Rick said "C'mon Morty just-" Morty interrupted him "Promise!" Rick sighed "Fine."

Morty gulped and continued, his voice breaking slightly "J-Jessica rejected me, I-I know it's dumb but I-I really like her an-" Rick interrupted "Her loss." Morty blinked and looked over to Rick, eyes wide "What? C-can you repeat that?" Rick shrugged "I said her loss. You're a good kid." Rick stated in a matter-of-falculty manner, planting his hand on Morty's back. "Look, don't make a b-*burp*-ig deal out of this ok? I'm just stati-*burp*-ng facts ok? You're pretty loyal and kind-hearted. You're also pretty compassionate, even if you do have a planetary mindset. I'm sure lots of girls would like to have you, they'd certainly be luc-*burp*-ky." Then Rick took a sip from his flask. Morty blinked "Do you really mean t-that Rick?"

Rick shrugged "Yeah, just don't make a big deal out of i-" Rick suddenly felt a weight around him, his head snapped over to Morty, the kid was hugging him with a big dumb smile and closed eyes "Thanks!" Rick tensed up, what the fuck was this? He looked around, uhhh what was he supposed to do? He decided to just pat Morty's back awkwardly "I told you not to make a big deal out of this Morty! I'm not saying it because it's w-*burp*-hat I actually think! It's a scientific fact ok!? Don't st-*burp*-art thinking that I gi-*burp*-ve a shit about you." Morty finally released Rick from his spine-crushing hug, and Rick gently put his hand on Morty's back to lead him where he wants to go, and got him out of bed "Now c'mon, it's time to go on an adventure, it'll be the perfect way to forget about stupid ass what's-her-face rejecting you."

[thedragonchilde]

Ship meme spam round two

How did they they meet?

Well, that's pretty well covered in the series--

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Chibodee, by a mile

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

“It's so nice to see them happy together; much nicer than dealing with Chibodee's miserable mooning~”

“Oh, shut up, Shirley, I was not ‘mooning’!”

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

The circumstances are actually answered somewhat in the next question!

Who confessed their feelings first?

Domon, after having accidentally discovered that the feeling was mutual. (Chibodee was braced for a confrontation, not a confession!)

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

I'm sorry, I have the visual of Chibodee inviting George for a double date just to watch his reaction--

What do they do in their down time?

Separately, it's a wonder if they have down time at all, so together they try to make every moment count - and even then they're usually pretty hyped up and active, but sometimes that just means takeout and televised sports and lazy embrace

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Considering that Dr Kasshu is the only parent in the equation-- (Which is to say, probably some measure of awkward, but at the same time Domon would be fucking beaming and I don't think the importance of that would be lost on his father at all.)

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

Well, I've mentioned before that they have a tendency to snipe about stupid shit that isn't really what they're mad about, and usually those are done and forgiven pretty quickly. Their first big fight as a couple is probably, ironically, over communication, and how they both fail at it in wildly different ways when they're upset - and the issue is not immediately fixed, but having everything out in the open seriously helps

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Domon jumps to it more quickly, because everything seems vaguely threatening when you're unsure. (Not for the reason one might think, however - the assumption tends to be that anyone dating Chibodee would be threatened by his being surrounded by beautiful women, but being jealous of the gals has never crossed Domon's mind, and he would actually find that suggestion kind of weird. They're like his sisters!) He may actually become possessive if Chibodee were to have a rival in the ring though, like “only I should get you hyped up like that”

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

You mean they have to narrow it down??

Who’s the cuddly one? What is their favourite cuddling position?

Domon can be a little tsundere about cuddling sometimes, but let's be real, physical touch of any kind is very important for these two, and whatever cuddle configurations they come up with are no exception

Are they hand holders?

Oh, absolutely, not a question

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

Bets would probably be split between "never" and "ASAP". But they finally get to it after a couple near-misses and aborted attempts, a few really awkward questions, and a lot of pent-up frustration.

Chibodee certainly takes the lead initially, but thinks he can get away with not getting fully naked or letting himself really be touched, and apparently doesn't think Domon's gonna catch on to that trepidation. Rookie mistake, my man; body language speaks loud and clear, and your boy is famously good at reading it. It takes a blunt "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want this. But if we're gonna do it, I wanna do it right. I want this. I want you" - and a well-timed jaw kiss/hip grab maneuver - to get a breathless, trusting "Yeah okay, you've got me"

Who tops?

This is definitely a competition

What’s the worst fight they’ve ever gotten into?

They probably get into it pretty good a couple times over the long-distance thing

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Shopping they'd have to work together on and learn the art of compromise along the way, because Domon is hilariously predictable and Chibodee can be an impulse shopper just because he can. I suspect they stick to stuff that's easy to prepare.

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Tidiness would probably go to Domon, but he's also not super used to having much stuff to keep untidy. (Obviously, any tidiness does not apply to his hair.) 'Organized' is kind of broad, but Chibodee's better about times and dates, and anything he doesn't keep organized he can trust that Bunny will.

Who proposes?

Domon, because for as much as he says he's not good with words, he is both completely unable to keep his feelings to himself and downright poetic when he speaks from the heart. (Chibodee doesn't answer right away, and he laughs when he does, because he was just about to pop the question himself, only Domon beat him to the punch, and did it better, and if he wasn't so happy he'd be so pissed off--)

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bachelorette parties or separate?

See, this is the pitfall of marrying within your friend group--

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

George and Rain seem like the natural choices (or, if we go with a resurrection timeline, Kyoji and Shirley), though I think the gals would pick up a lot of the traditional maid-of-honor duties, because they know how to plan a party, and how to keep news outlets out. Honestly, I feel like the wedding party is mostly a given! I'm having trouble with what exactly would get Sai to eventually warm up to all this, but I like the idea that he would insist on making the cake. It would be the best damn cake you ever saw or tasted, and normal toppers are lame so this would call for two playing cards at the top-- (He may also have tried to insist on throwing a bachelor party, and honestly, Sai, even though you are technically an adult at this point that still sounds like a really bad idea)

Big Ceremony or Small?

Not a huge shindig, I figure, but probably big enough that they each ask at least once during the planning why they didn't just elope. (The answer is probably "because neither of you could keep it secret to save your lives, and once certain people know they wouldn't let you sneak off anyway"). Research on Japanese weddings tells me that the ceremony would be very small, anyway, and the reception would be the bigger worry.

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?

Tell me that it wouldn't be on Earth. Specifically where I'm not sure (any good memories Domon had of the rainforest are probably super shot), but they would absolutely take advantage of the kind of scenery you just don't get on the colonies.

Do they have children? How many?

Domon's so good with kids that it'd be almost a shame if they didn't, and you can't tell me Chibodee wouldn't have a heart for orphans. Come back to me later on specifics though. EDIT: Back with details! I definitely played with adoption, and largely got "but how am I supposed to pick favorites??" (and that's when I figured there are donations to youth shelters and maybe an established scholarship or something?) But one offhand mention of surrogacy/IVF as an option and I had a picture in my head before long, so, bam, one bio kid. His name is Apollo, which Chibodee absolutely deserves a suspicious side eye for.

[gingeredmink]

what are your age hcs for tatsuki and soutarou? and misc hcs for urotsuki?

Gonna be blunt, head is a cluttered junkyard and I'm a rambler with zero self control when right conditions are met [you ask about Special Interests]. plus am tired and really out of it from work cause we had inventory and i ordered too many lunchables [oscar mayer can go to hell]. Will do best to make this coherent, or at least intelligible, but apologies if it's a bit of a mess.

Age Headcanons [If we're going for what they are in game]

Short answer: Soutarou is late 20s-early 30s, Tatsuki ranges between 15-18. [tho ofc when I draw shippy stuff it's an AU and they're both early 20s]

Long answer: Actually thought about this on and off a decent bit and could never really get more than a vague, "Somewhere around this area" for them.

Soutarou is somewhere between late 20s and early 30s. He's old enough to have experienced some shit, try to get clean and back on his feet and get some manual labor experience, and have that ripped from him. Plus some time to isolate and have those thoughts wreck havoc on his mental state.

Tatsuki on the other hand is messier and harder to really give an age to. They could be a kid escaping into fairy tales to avoid reality, or a young adult [18-20] that was forced to grow up too fast and is now suffering from dealing with their fractured identity [have thought about Debris endings occurring around Tats 18th birthday, because they have the "You're not a child, so why do you hold onto such stupid childish fantasies?" thoughts to go on top of everything else and it sorta just breaks them.]

Misc Uro Headcanons

Big Deep angsty Uro hc/kinda what shapes her core for me

You might've heard the quote, “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." by Robin Williams. This more or less summarizes my view of Urotsuki at the core. She may not be weighed down by what other dreamers have gone through, but she knows what it's like to be trapped in darkness and though it may not show, she is doing her best to make others happy because she doesn't want others to go through that. [side note: this is huge part of reason for shipping her with Tatsuki. Feel like they'd be the same, tho Tats is way more introverted. That angsty, "You see through the smiles or notice the little things and softly nudge me to say you understand and are there." sorta thing].

Going off that; for the longest time have hc'd that Uro has struggled with an ED and self image issues in the past and a big part of why she loves food and is okay with being herself, and is so supportive of others doing the same, is because she had to fight to get to where she is and is doing her best to make sure others can simply see the joy in life without experiencing the hell she went through.

More lighthearted/Uro's a goofball hcs

Uro is somewhat lactose intolerant but keeps getting sick because she won't. fucking. stop. eating cheese. Or questionable foods in general. "It smells alright so it's probably fine." [narrator voice: It wasn't fine] sorta things.

Probs mentioned this one before but eh, Uro and Sou are one of few dreamers with a drivers license, and Uro's driving doesn't exactly leave most passengers feeling safe so Sou is constantly stepping in when she offers people a ride. The two bicker at each other like an old couple a surprisingly good bit when eyes aren't on them. This paired with them both being older and able to get drunk makes for quite a scene. [Sabi's laughing, Tats is on the floor trying and failing to hide it.]

She did have a dedicated dream diary at some point, but during a depressive period would start to fill and decorate it with random stuff [silly doodles, poems, stickers , ect], and it's now more like a thought scrapbook or therapeutic outlet for her. Pages that are just her jotting down memories that make her happy have little sticky note bookmarks so she can flip through them when feeling down.

Her head is a mess and all over the place, and her counting sheep is like a ritual she semi-depends on to fall asleep since it gets her to focus on one thing and relax [its a sorta behavioral dependency that if she was somehow barred from doing, she'd probs stress out and not be able to sleep.]

Hope you enjoyed or were at least satisfied with rambling anon ◠⸜⸝◠~

[ghostismybbygorl]

Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters

First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'

Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse

Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl

Price

Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure

he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of

100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)

Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there

I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him

Id do the grunts and everything

I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else

Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him

Soap

Dont let anyone near us

Like

AT ALL

wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial

We'd be the reason price is greying faster

100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me

Im gonna be up front with this one

We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man

We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us

Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY

Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect

We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take

Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood

Definitely in the blunt rotation

He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me

Lots of hugs and kisses for this man

Except when he eats my snacks

Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)

Ghost

Oh this poor poor man

Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being

And i wont stop that

Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love

I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me

100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it

We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻

Im stealing his hoodies and his masks

Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest

Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles

In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much

Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people

Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit

Gaz

Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER

Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way

Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them

I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines

Part of the blunt rotation as well

When I'm upset he's the one id rant to

Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general

He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged

Totally would listen to murder podcasts together

So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them

Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.

Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them

Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain

Okay back to writing

Laswell

Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol

Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target

I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament

Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life

Alejandro

definitely calls me niña or cariño

I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong

100% my drinking buddy

I feel like he'd be very protective over me

Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings

Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music

We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties

Rudy

He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying

Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish

I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?

I also feel like he gives great life advice

Graves

Id kick him in the balls

He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation

Absolutely despise him

Completely roast that motherfucker

Drop kick him

He pisses me off so much

Gives off leo and cancer energy

OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED

Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would

Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it

König

Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack

PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE

id hug him every-time i see him

Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders

He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me

His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is

I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going

I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do

He's in the blunt rotation as well

Thats all i got for now 😊

[somethinginscoutcounty]

Diary Entry of Aubrey Yang

Jul. 20, 24: Sat.

If I were told that everything that is happening to me now would be the result of my going on spring break with Erik and his friends to the national park I would think that whoever told me was insane because how the fuck would camping in the woods lead to all of this shit. But if I knew then I would have just said no to the invite. But then again they'd all be dead. Well, they pretty much are now. There's just me and Erik. And we're only alive because of what happened with me and that thing.

I'm starting to think that it was a bad idea. It was. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it for myself what I did was dumb it was so fucking stupid. I made a deal with some thing in the fucking woods to feed it, whatever that means, in exchange for it not what I'm assuming was eating me and Erik but I don't even know how to go about this. I don't like any of the ideas of what I need to do to meet its needs.

I've been so caught up in everything that I haven't talked to anyone. I spent a good while after leaving the hospital pretty sure that I had genuinely gone insane because I was seeing the damn thing but then it talked to me and I saw it. It left things in my room. It's real and it told me to basically hold up my end of the deal. And so now I've just been thinking everything over and what I got me and Erik into and because I got Erik into this I didn't want to talk to him. But apparently, now he wants to talk to me.

I'm scared. From everything that's been happening but mostly from the idea that Erik knows what happened. I don't know how we'll be able to go about talking about it considering everything that happened and the others being gone. I wish I had something to say to help this go smoother but I don't think there is. How do you go on with everything we've seen.

-AB

[girlactionfigure]

THE HOLOCAUST WAS IN COLOUR

I woke up today in Jerusalem to the sound of a siren marking Yom HaShoah - Holocaust Memorial Day. The fucking Holocaust. This thing that's there. This thing that every Jewish kid has to learn about far too young. There’s no good age to learn about it. It takes away an innocence whatever age you learn.

It's a lesson of: actually - the worst shit can happen.

Actually - the worst shit did happen.

Actually the worst shit could happen again.

There is no objective proof of God - but Auschwitz did happen. It’s difficult to remain idealistic about human beings after that. If tales of individual acts of heroism that emerged from the Holocaust are supposed to give us solace and an after-taste of hope, the bigger question is what is it that makes these tales such anomalies?? What is it that prevented every person from being a hero? And why did it happen in the first place?

Visiting Auschwitz ruined part of me. It really did. Even before visiting, all that bullshit ruined part of me. I remember seeing images on TV as a kid and that ain't healthy. To see ghouls hanging on barbed wire. Piles of skeleton and flesh. I don't see how it can't ruin anyone if that's you and your kind they were gunning for. The idea that people murdered you because you were born you. The idea that your fellow countrymen turned round and said: actually you're not one of us. Or turned a blind eye, buttoned up their lips, gazed down in silence and left you to deal with it on your own. It's not like this puts joy in your heart. It puts something in your heart that I can't explain. It puts in your heart the sensation that some people don't want your heart to beat. And that's a confusing feeling for any heart: a nexus of emotions. A paralytic, existential moment. The loneliest heart, scarred by barbed wire and frost.

The fact that I can only trace my family tree back a few generations has always gnawed at me. I can only go back so far and then there's nothing. Just a black hole. Part of my connection with planet earth has been blotted out for good. I've been disinherited of my roots - from knowing the specifics of who I am and where I come from.

A few years back I visited Auschwitz - this massive shithole in Poland. And it's not like this death factory could have been a secret. There's no way. People knew. It's huge. It just goes on and on. And there's something weird about it. And you can't quite figure it out. And then you realise - it's all in colour. It's not in black and white. The images we're used to seeing of Auschwitz are black and white. And as horrific as those images are they provide a safe, historical distance. It appears a bygone world far removed from us. But it's here in colour and it's the same world we inhabit. The same air, the same trees, the same rain falling. And the human beings would have been in colour too, with red blood cells and capillaries and hearts beating like ours. They weren’t creatures from yester-year, they were modern human beings with the same body parts and feelings. And they were murdered by modern human beings who also had the same body parts and who probably loved their children and kissed their partners goodnight.

There's more I could write. I could write about mountains of shoes. I could write about piles of hair. I could write about buttons and cutlery and possessions that emerge from the mud in the rain. I remember having a stupid back and forth in my mind over some buttons I found which I put back into the mud. I had this stupid thought that maybe I should have "liberated" the buttons rather than leave them in that shithole - but then thinking that would be stealing? But would it be stealing if they'd been stolen by scum and were now being "taken back" in a spirit of love and solidarity by someone on their side? “Liberating buttons.” Stupid stuff. Ridiculous thoughts that you can somehow do something correct to rectify what happened here and bring some kind of harmony. In the end I left them. The buttons were stolen and they don't belong to Auschwitz - but they belong to the memory of what happened there - so they can at least continue to speak from the mud to anyone who sees them.

If I'm honest, part of me wishes I hadn't visited the place. I came away angry and it killed any absolute faith I have in human beings. As I say, individual tales of heroism and defiance aren’t enough to justify true optimism. They're a plaster to cover up the deeper sickness of who and what we are as a species. There's something worrying about human beings and our capacity for cruelty. A species whose children pick the wings off flies, combined with a propensity to herd mentality, is dangerous. It should trouble all of us. I don't know how we overcome it, keep it restrained, or collectively channel it toward a universally agreed direction that’s aimed at goodness.

If I have one reflection on whatever nonsense it is I'm writing it's this: I think there's a violence in human beings. There is violence in the human soul. There is violence and there is cruelty. But more than that there is fear. Despite our songs and poems, I'm not sure love is the most powerful force on earth. There’s a strong argument to suggest fear is the primary driving force behind the actions of the animal we call a human being. It's fear of freezing to death that causes us to build shelters. It's fear of going hungry that causes us to stock food. It's fear of being ostracised that causes us to ostracise others. It's fear of ridicule that breeds conformity. It's fear that causes people to keep their heads down. And when the moment of danger comes? When the tyrants enter? When the bullies arrive? It's fear that causes people to not speak up. To turn a blind eye. To let someone else take the bullet. People can bombastically jump on the bandwagon and say "never again" but it’s tough to find your voice when face to face with a bully. People can say never again but it’s tough to square up if someone has raised their fist and shown they will use it. It’s tough to be brave when the moment comes and there's so many thoughts going through your mind and your brain and adrenalin decides it's best to shut down and stay quiet for the sake of self-preservation. It’s tough to do good things in this world because the bad things are loud and scary and intimidating. It’s tough for people to rise above fear. There’s a reason why heroes are called lone heroes. They’re uncommon.

That's why it's good to be writing this from Israel where Jews are once again in their ancestral home, the place they forged an indigenous civilisation many thousands of years ago before the Babylonians and Romans forced them into exile. A place where they can ensure that "Never Again" is not left in the hands of a species that pulls the wings off flies. Google the Evian Conference - visit Auschwitz yourself - survival is not a game to be left in the hands of others or based on the strength of promises. Because there's always a chance that when the chips are against you and you call out to friends or others for help, you could be left hanging around wondering when they'll arrive?

And the answer might be:

Never. Again.

So. Anyway. It's 5pm. I need a piss. Then I'll probably eat some bread. A siren went off this morning. Just one final thought before I have a wee. I say that any absolute faith I have in human beings is lost. And that's true. Yet every day I experience such joy at existing. I love walking about, talking to people and connecting with souls cut from the same cloth. I like nature and I like looking at things and if I didn't love science so much I'd probably be a new age nut hugging trees and trying to kiss ants. Being alive is the most beautiful thing I've experienced to date.

And as embarrassed as I am to say it would you look at me trying to finish on a positive note?

Maybe there is something stronger than fear?

The persistant impulse to seek blessings in a world full of curses. The sheer chutzpah of life. The defiance. Not to vanquish the darkness, but to live in spite of the darkness. I can handle a world where Auschwitz took place if I also get to live in a world where there are people I love. I can handle a world where there’s horror if I also get to laugh now and then. And the fact that love, laughter and happiness can blossom in a world where the worst can happen - and has - must count for something. Deep down the impulse to go in search of life’s blessings is within all of us. It’s part of who we are. It’s why we get up each morning. We have to have faith that all will be well even when logic, history and common sense says otherwise. Actually it’s not even a question of faith. We have no choice. I think hope is hardwired into all of us. Deeper than fear. We are a creature that hopes. And sometimes, with the right wind behind us, at the right tide, we make those hopes come true. Sometimes, if you will it, it is no dream.

Lee Kern

This was written in Jerusalem in 2015 on Yom HaShoah - Holocaust Memorial Day

[lost-technology]

Found another person blocking my blog, but this time I know why. I tried to dry-reblog some thoughtful commentary from them as an experiment, not knowing if they knew or cared about this blog connected to my wider Internet name, but apparently they do. You see, (name un-disclosed) was a person I knew in the old guard fandom about 20 years ago and had a lot of fighting with. It was basically a situation where a toxic former friend drew me into fighting with this entire group of friends and my stupid shenanigans landed me on Fandom Wank, where this person was among one of the main posters. (Hypocritical cyberbulling place if you ask me, but whatever). It confirms that they remember me and aren't willing to forgive. It's okay. It's not like I wanted friendship with them, I just thought they had an insightful post and was just curious. I mean, I actually had found out their tumblr handle from seeing them around Ao3 again (resurrected fan), but hadn't looked it up and didn't block it. The fact that they preemptively blocked me - went through that trouble tells me all I need to know about held grudges and now they are blocked from my main just for the sake of me not seeing their posts and forgetting / accidentally trying to reblog them. (Nothing personal, just respecting their apparent want of no contact and the works of managing main blogs and side blogs on this site). I feel kind of sad because we won't know how each other have changed. I have quite a bit. I have grown away from Church and have divested myself of past bigotries, for instance. I'll never be able to mea culpa enough for that shit , but I don't think anyone really wants me to - just press on and press forward and don't make a big deal of it. I have gotten a lot of help psychiatrically. I'll always be as bipolar as fuck, that's just my brain, but at least it's managed now, but I understand why people would want to shy away from that, especially if they were former Internet contacts who got the brunt of my moodswings and mayhem before knowledge of the condition and treatment. (I can still be pretty bad now, actually, but I was worse 20 years ago). I don't know. I guess I'm a bit sad because I saw "Oh, person from my past, I wonder what and how they're doing now - hopefully they've had a good life. Hopefully they've had as many positives as I have or more." And of course, there was that hope that they'd forget me entirely because The Bullshit happened 20 years ago and people on the Internet rarely have long memories. There is exactly one person from my Trigun Fandom Past that I would be likely to block on sight if I saw them again, but maybe... not even then. I'd look them over and if I felt like I still couldn't trust contact with them again in any way, perhaps I'd give them an explanation of the mistrust, and it being entirely on my end (not a judgement on the person they've become). I think that will happen now, should That Person ever find me. I guess I can think of it as kind of being like my relationship with my older brother. Growing up there was stuff I don't want to even talk about going on between him and I in terms of him being unstable and abusive. Granted, he and I share a disorder, but it was never an excuse - and yet, last Spring, I got to go back across the country and visit my family. In visiting him in particular, I dragged a cousin along as a "buffer," even though everyone was telling me that he'd mellowed out over the years. Indeed, I saw him and I'm glad I did, because... he has. He has, over the last 20 some odd years become more introspective, reflective and he apologised to me for his past treatment of me. I took it as sincere. He just had a manner to him of This Guy Has Mellowed Out and Made Change. It was nice to see. Running into Ghosts of Fandom Past kind of made me think of that. If we ever did talk to each other, putting aside the past, how much change in each other would we see? I want to know how life's been treating you.

[partypacking]

Can I ask what led you all to rejecting sysmed ideology? We have disagreements with our host on things like attitudes to certain life situations and approaches to problems, but we're all generally on the same page with 'discoursey' topics because of our shared memory and experiences; I wondered what the thought process was with disagreeing with your host on such a level. (If this is uncomfortable, you absolutely don't have to answer.)

This is actually a future comic we have on the backburner. We have a lot to address regarding sysmed ideology, what we have seen that leads to it, why we rejected it, etc. It may be multiple parts, because we have a lot to say about it.

Pardon if my words are jumbled, we're sick and kind of in a mental fog, but I can at the very least address your question in text form while you wait for the comic:

Our dead ex host was a person built entirely as a response to abuse. They were everything we thought would fight back against not just our abuse, but all abuses in the future done to anyone. We were abused as a child, so as we grew older, our dead ex host wanted to become a sort of "protector of children." Combined with manipulation from a different set of abusers fighting against the first set of abusers (long and stupid story), dead ex host was an extremely unpleasant person, and since they took everything anyone said was an injustice to heart, they were the perfect (obnoxious and extremely volatile) weapon.

Unfortunately, they (and by extension we) were emotionally immature; we were being piloted by someone whose development was forcefully halted for the sake of being the perfect weapon. A lot of sysmeds and other exclusionist types we've encountered tend to either be children, or extremely emotionally immature. They also have unmanaged trauma. They are in pain, pain has been inflicted on them, they can't conceptualize that someone else may have the same identity markers as them without that sort of horrible suffering that they feel comes with that identity (being a woman, being trans, being a system, asexuals being LGBT+ etc). So, they scramble for reasons why these people aren't really XYZ identity as a place to put their pain. It also comes from shame from having these identities, because people are often abused for having them. Dead ex host had a lot of pain, and nowhere to put it, so they did the emotionally immature thing and blamed everyone else (including Steven Universe fans? Despite the fact we really liked the show?) and inflicted their internalized self hatred upon them.

When Grieson forced dead ex host to acknowledge we existed, things fell apart and dead ex host died within about a year and a half. Dead ex host inflicted pain on us while they were alive, and this pain was encouraged by the group of manipulative abusers we were dealing with, on top of the sysmeds dead ex host aligned themselves with as a place to put their pain. Manipulative abuser group did NOT like, respect, or acknowledge our system, and ultimately saw it as an inconvenience to them, and they'd wait for dead ex host (or whoever they assigned as host) to come back. So, we had no choice but to agree, and we didn't think much about it until dead ex host died.

It took time, and a lot of conversations with 4sa, but we realized what was going on was extremely fucked up, that we were being used, that all the shit our dead ex host was mad about didn't matter, and that none of the people our dead ex host was friends with even liked us to begin with. When we realized we were hurting ourselves and 4sa even after we ditched harmful ideologies, we began the long and arduous work to recover from all of the bullshit and actually address the root problem instead of just the branches that sprung from it.

But, there is still a part of us all that's preachy and loves to talk, so we've decided to speak our minds and be proud of our existence after years of actively avoiding any kind of attention. We don't let people push us around or let their opinions of us dictate how we go about our existence. We don't let people force us to feel shame about what we are; abuse lead us to shame, shame lead to anger, anger lead to blaming innocent people for our problems, and that lead to more shame and misery.

This is fucking long. I am going to sleep.

[abysscronica]

So this is kind of a question that’s unrelated to any specific thing but I feel like it’d give more perspective on Birdie and be interesting to see different bias’, so my question is what kind of stuff did the crew say about her without her present in her time on the ship? Like, it’s a new person that was constantly kind of evolving on how she is on the ship and with the crew and so I assume people talked about her even if it’s just casual talk of “oh did you see Kids girl today after the rain, she looked like a pissed cat” or just general “so what do you think of this whole thing” conversations. And there’s probably a big difference between people who get along with her (Mohawkian, Booka, Heat, ect) people who are more neutral (Doc and wire) and people who might not care for her (even if they don’t outright insult her in fear of Kid) also a weird second question based on that last part, how does Kid care if ppl talk shit on birdie? Because I know (especially as they get closer) that he wouldn’t like it but is he a “threaten to chop off their balls if they say another word about her” kind of dude or a “she’s strong enough to deal with guys saying stupid remarks about her so she can just handle it herself” kind of dude?

Hey, thanks for the ask and sorry for the long wait. This is a very interesting question! I can reply but unfortunately only incompletely because we'll touch upon this in Bonds and I don't want to give everything away.

Birdie was obviously a very hot topic among the crewmates during the month she spent with the Kid Pirates. The conversation shifted over time, as her own role with the crew changed. At the very beginning, men were mainly making lewd comments about her looks, what they'd do to her, and how the captain may be enjoying her. Not everyone of course, Heat and Wire were neutral and not interested in such conversation, the doc doesn't engage with the other guys too much in general, the girls were obviously absent at the time (you'll see why in Bonds), and I assume some of the others are gay/non binary/not interested in birdie anyway, so they wouldn't care much. After they see her fighting alongside them, the topic shifted to her fighting skills, like "did you see the marine girl today? She's a fucking good shot!". Not that the coarse appreciations completely died out but they were diluted, and more so after her sniping show against Daifuku's ship. At that point, her out-of-chart sniping skills were the hottest theme. Slowly but surely, the crew developed respect for birdie as a warrior, and that's when the gross sex-related discussion finally ended. Then, alongside respect, a sort of affection started to blossom - birdie's sharp tongue, her outbursts, her sarcasm, these things were endearing for the Kid Pirates. The men abandoned degrading comments and switched to subtle praise. Like "our little marine girl was moody today, eh? Choppy sea with the captain, I guess". They also started using her name more. Finally, when they realized Kid had actual feelings for her, the conversation evolved to her relationship with him, and whether or not she would become a proper crewmember. Many of them already considered her one, at least subconsciously, so they'd talk about her as such.

Of course this is a very general summary. Heat and Wire, as stoic dudes and officers, wouldn't discuss her with the crew at all, and the doctor too. The men knew about Heat's relationship with birdie, so they'd avoid talking about her when he was around. The Mohican started praising her quite soon, while Booka would turn aggressive if anyone talked shit about her. As for Kid, once again, the men wouldn't bring up the topic when he was around. If by any chance he heard something he didn't like, I figure he'd just punch the man who spoke without a world, a gentle reminder to be more aware of where your captain is. 😂

[voylitscope]

Ten Lines

I was tagged for this by @writingpotato07! Thank you! (I'm so bad about doing things I'm tagged in. I'm sorry. I always mean to do them. I did this one!) Opening tagging this for anyone else who wants to do it. It was fun!

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.

I did my top ten fics (sorted by kudos) instead of trying to pick ten.

There Are Strangers I Have to Become (Explicit)

But there is an entire universe of difference between factually knowing he's from Brooklyn and instinctively thinking of Brooklyn as back home.

And it's—

Right now, this kitchen in Bucharest smells a little bit like butter, and there's a bag of coffee in Bucky's hand, and Steve's presence is everywhere and overwhelming, and Bucky had a train of thought that went from coffee, to Steve, to home without him trying to make those connections at all, and—

There's a Light (I Find it At Your Side) (Explicit)

So good at in a way that—

In a way that Bucky would almost be tempted to say was slightly irritating, because Steve can be a little smug about how good at it he is. But. Well. One, Bucky secretly thinks it's cute as hell when Steve makes that mildly smug face. And two, obviously, Bucky benefits from this particular skill — holy shit — Bucky benefits from it. So, really, Bucky would just like Steve to just keep doing it as often as is reasonably possible.

Ideally, for the rest of their lives.

We Set a Precedent, and I'm Living With it (Teen)

(The response to this one is blowing me away. It is already this high in my most kudos'd fics, and it hasn't even been up for 48 hours.)

Later that night, when he's feeding Alpine, it hits Bucky that when he shows up at this thing with Steve? All those people who've known Steve for years are going to think Bucky is with Steve.

He guesses they sorta do that all the time. Normally for less than ten minutes here and there, not entire events, but they do it. So it's probably not a big deal.

But You Can Hold Me (Only "Cause it's a Cold Night in Brooklyn) (Mature)

Steve slides his own hands over Bucky's pants as he settles in, and it's all Bucky can do not to hold him there. Maybe, if Steve stayed on his lap forever, he wouldn't have to worry so fucking much about him. It's a dangerous thought, and Bucky pulls it back as soon as he thinks it. He has to stop being so damn weird about Steve, but it's hard, it's really damn hard when Steve's looking at him like this with his hands pressed into Bucky's thighs.

As Your Heartbeat Keeps Me Warm (Mature)

There are about a dozen things Steve wants right now that he can't have, not in this tent that doesn't actually guarantee privacy. They start with removing the layers of clothing between him and Bucky so he can get his mouth on every inch of Bucky's skin, and they end with sharing blankets and cuddling close for the rest of the night. It's the wrong time entirely for any of those things.

I Held You in Gloved Hands (And I'm Not Letting Go) (Explicit)

They gave up practicing pretty fast, but they didn't forget about it completely. Over the years, there'd be times one of them would bring it up. Every once in a while, one of them would suggest they oughta dance again. So they'd dance, stupid and giggling — or stupid and drunk, a couple times as teenagers. It was a joke after a party or a joke just because. A joke. An old ridiculous thing.

Secretly, I'm Hoping For the Dare Again (Explicit)

"Because it's hot," Aiden says, shrugging his shoulders. He hears how miserable his own voice sounds. He feels pretty damn miserable about it. Gabe's eyes go wide as if he's startled, and Aiden shrugs again. "It's hot that you have all of that, and I can't stop thinking about it, okay?"

And if All That I Could I Ever Be (Explicit)

Declan laughs too and moves his head up to kiss Cole.

"Well, I'm happy to be your celebrity fantasy or your hot-new-guy-at-work fantasy. Or both. You just let me know," Declan says, resting a palm flat on Cole's stomach as he kisses him solidly.

You're a Gem but Not a Saint (General)

Steve is the biggest person Bucky has ever known.

(Sometimes, Bucky thinks maybe Steve could do it. Sometimes, he thinks that if anyone could, it would be Steve. And that scares him even more.)

Will You Keep a Candle Burning? (Will You Let Me Come and Stay?) (Explicit)

There's another secret he keeps that goes like this:

Matteo's so in love with Zeki that he couldn't begin to talk about it if he tried for the rest of his life.

Matteo's been in love with Kieran since he was 17 damn years old. And he hasn't found the words for that yet, either.

He used to think that was wrong of him, too.