#disability thoughts

[joker-and-a-fool]

disabled people who can't drive no one understands us

abled people don't understand the idea that you just...can't drive! that we have to rely on public transit or other people just to leave our houses! it's an isolating feeling, especially when you have to go through applications just to use the disabled transit programs.

my mom's been trying to convince me to drive again, I was practicing around covid time and ended up giving up because we couldn't find time and I was tired of it. but now she keeps going "oh but you drove in the past!!" and blocking my explanations of why I don't want to.

but this isn't meant to be a vent, it's to support my point.

I told her I'm photosensitive and her response was that she is too but it's "gotten better with age" which sure, but if I can't keep my eyes open as a passenger, do we really want me on the road? if I have a neurological condition that makes my feet freeze up, do we want me to use the pedals? and don't even suggest hand controls, my hands are even worse. and god forbid I learn to drive and then don't get medically approved to drive.

but for some reason, these are seen as excuses.

so if you've ever gone through this, i completely understand and get it. i don't enjoy relying on others but it's what we have to do.

[caseyscraftycorner]

dyscalculia, for me, is like having to do all math manually.

okay that probably doesn't make much sense. but hear me out: most people have an amount of intuition about math. when someone says "whats 9 minus 3" you probably don't have to think about it -- you just know that its 6. even if you dont just know the answer automatically, you probably can grab your existing concept 9, and subtract your existing concept of 3 from it to get the answer. for me, because of my dyscalculia, i have to do every piece of that calculation every time. no shortcuts. no memory. no mental tricks.

this lack of ability to memorize simple arithmetic means i make more mistakes than usual. if every time you want to solve that equation your brain has to remember what 9 means, then remember what 3 means, and then remove 3 from 9, which means 8.. 7.. 6, the answer is 6 -- then you do way more steps than the average person does. of course that means that more mistakes happens, there's more places for mistakes to happen!

i think, for me at least, part of the reason it works like this is because i have no internal sense of numbers. they do not mean anything to me. i learned to count fine, because that was like learning the alphabet -- just words in an order for no particular reason. but if you asked me which number was bigger, 56 or 89, i would have to think for just a split second. my internal process would go something like "theres two digits in each, start with the leftmost digit, 5 and 8, 8 comes after 5, so 89 is bigger". and that happens pretty quick in my brain, honestly, but it still all has to happen.

wait hold on a second. you know how people always complain about word problems? how people always said they were harder because you had to figure out which numbers went where and with what operations? those never bothered me. i never understood what made them so hard for people. because thats what i have to do with equations anyways, so it was just...the same amount of difficult.

[lostt4nk]

it’s weird going through the process of Unlearning what my mother , a social worker , taught me about severely disabled people while going through my own disability journey . i can’t remember what she Exactly told me , but i remember growing up and feeling uncomfortable interacting with them because i just didn’t know what to say . on top of auditory processing issues and (possible) autism affecting how i socialise(d) , it was difficult all around but i still made the effort to because i really did want to talk with them . my mother portrayed them as ✨ People That Just Needed A Little Help ✨ and looking back on it its appalling. a SOCIAL WORKER WITH A PHD talking about disabled people like if you give them what they need to live they’ll be cured . she still speaks like this and it’s become even more apparent now that i’ve noticed my own physical health declining to the point i need a cane to walk long distances . it made me realise that if she talks about severely disabled people like that , how will she talk about me ? she proclaims to be inclusive and respectful of all , but is exactly the opposite when it comes to those who are more disabled than society likes to acknowledge . 

[sprixyn]

I can do absolutely anything I put my mind to. it just might take a little extra time and patience for those around me but i deserve to take up space and i am not a burden for this

[eorzeanpages]

Can we talk about Service Pokemon for a sec? I'm disabled and have arthritis, and I tend to fall, so I would love a service Houndoom. Sturdy and warm! Clavell would love it, I feel like, he seems nice

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[pigeon-cave]

Spectrum of overwhelm, now in triangle form due to popular demand

[Image description: A triangle chart titled, ‘Spectrum of Overwhelm.’ The three points are ‘404 Error,’ showing a person with an empty thought bubble; ‘wet beast,’ showing a person sweating and sobbing; and ‘rage beast’ showing a person clenching their fists in an outline of orange fire. The peak is the ‘404 error’ vertex, and the inside of the triangle here is coloured beige and labelled, ‘shutdown.’ The lower half is labelled ‘meltdown’ and is red on the rage beast side and blue on the wet beast side. \End description]

[commonzinnia]

yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! 🫶🫶🫶

[smoov-criminal]

we need to stop equating lack of independence with lack of maturity. people that live with their parents or have a caregiver or don't work or need more support than others aren't inherently immature. there's lots of reasons why people would be in this situation, even outside of disability (plenty of cultures out there expect people to live with their parents past what we consider the beginning of adulthood), and regardless of the reason we deserve support and community through what is already likely to be an isolating experience. don't make it worse for us

[vizthedatum]

No pain today except for the pain of the *existential* (that pain you feel when... you know you're supposed to be out enjoying your life, but you're fighting your inner demons trying to get the fuck out of bed).

Hmm, what have I done today?

felt extremely tired because of the antibiotics I'm taking

took my meds, I guess, and hydrated

laid down a lot

hit on a famous tiktok-er in their comments section because I have no shame anymore, apparently

*didn't* fix my dyer vent yet, even though over the past several days, I did set up all the equipment for me to do so down there - I badly need to launder my clothes -_-

*haven't* eaten solid food yet, but actively planning to

hoping to go outside for a walk (basically all my plans were canceled this weekend either by myself or by circumstance - which is fine since I'm avoiding people due to sickness)

*did* (/pos) think I looked cute today (honestly this is a win)

paid my rent!

trying not to stress about money

hoping to ease myself into fun activities like watching TV, walking outside, playing games, etc. SO THAT I can finish that one work task (which includes sending in timesheets jfc)

trying to not feel bad about my apartment still being a mess and a WIP - it's ok. it's ok. (after I eat, I'll be able to get more done. I have so much faith in myself.)

[joker-and-a-fool]

happy pride month to every disabled queer person!

[idowhatiwantspock]

Have I actually found a diagnosis for some of my symptoms that can be treated?

Is my quality of life going to improve by next week?

Am I really alive right now?

Hopefully all of these can be answered with one word

[colourmeastonished]

Body swap movie where one of them has invisible disabilities and when the other one lands in their body they immediately collapse catatonic on the floor from the pain and fatigue and the first one is like 'oh damn guess I don't have to worry that I'm faking it anymore'

[bizarreaizen]

it's always "i don't judge !!" until a person is a therian or just nonhuman in general, their religion is something they don't agree with or don't see as a "real or valid" religion [like satanism or autotheism], they identify with xenogenders and use "weird" pronouns, they have a "cringy" style like emo, scene, goth, or harajuku fashion, they're disabled, they act childish and age regresses, they have extreme intrusive thoughts, they have "odd" interests, they don't have proper hygiene because of poor mental health, their identity "doesn't make any sense", they're "too fat" or "too skinny", or they're just "not attractive". stop cherry picking, you can't claim "you don't judge" when you can't accept these people. be better. /srs

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Regarding the 'Doctors' Saying':* "If you hear hoof-beats, look for a horse, not a zebra."

Okay, fine. But if someone calls you and says: "There's a zebra in my front yard," don't just tell them "Actually, you're wrong. That's a horse," and hang up.

At least call around and see if there's a zoo nearby, or a visiting circus, and ask if they've had any animals escape, lately. And maybe ask them to double-check.

*As I've heard reported by the Elhers-Danlos Syndrome and Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome communities.

[artistmarchalius]

Give Floyd a service bat/emotional support bat!