#don’t know why tho I’m used to being ignored and I’m used to my crafted work getting shoved to the side

[this-is-private-go-away]

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[jmoriarty-221b]

Ok so this idea was inspired by AUs where Tim Drake is a member of the Addams family and thus this cute idea was born

Ok so, Tim’s parents still travel a lot but instead of leaving him alone in a big empty manor they leave him with his aunt and uncle Morticia and Gomez Addams

And Tim is a weird little kid who grows up without fear of the dark figures at night because the boogeyman is actually a pretty nice fellow who was very touched when Tiny Tim gave them a drawing of themselves, the monster in the closet actually gives great fashion advice as well as providing the perfect clothes for playing dress up, and the monsters under his bed are great storytellers and the shadow man gives Tim great advice on how to hide and use shadows to his advantage, etc.

The point is that Timmy grows up under the care of the Addams when his parents have to leave on long business trips or excavation sites and as such, is exposed to Gomez’s great appreciation of swordsmanship and fencing, and the haunted suits of armors are always great at comparing which kind of swords are the best in which kind of combat as well as the the importance of craftsmanship when in relation to having a reliable sword

And then one day Timmy watches the movie ‘The Legend of Zorro’ and becomes absolutely obsessed with learning how to use a sword and fight with it in the way only little kids can become obsessed with something they find completely cool, and Gomez is so excited to be teaching Tim everything he knows and they work together to craft Timmy his very own mini rapier for learning how to fence (swords are heavier so Tim learns those from Gomez when he’s older and can parry more weight)

And Tim becomes very Focused and Serious on learning how to fence and he’s very excited when he manages to finally best his uncle in a fencing duel (not as excited as Gomez tho, “MY CHILD SHALL BECOME THE BEST SWORDSMAN YET MY LOVE, DID YOU SEE HIS TECHNIQUE, HAD I BEEN SLOWER HE WOULD’VE RIPPED OPEN MY THROAT IN ONE SWIPE, I’M SO PROUD” “Our child dear”)

And then the movie ‘Count of Monte Cristo’ comes out and both Tim and Gomez are super fans (as a whole the family’s favorite movies are this one as well as the Legend of Zorro because 1. Revenge is achieved to the improvement of the main character’s well being and 2. The Aesthetic) and Tim just focuses on getting the hang of swords now with Gomez being more than happy to help his darling nephew

So years pass and Tim’s parents have finished one of their most taxing excavation digs so they return to Gotham and Tim has to return too (for the purposes of this AU Janet and Jack actually do give a fuck about their son so they would call him every other night when they’re away and if they can’t then at the very least they would call Tim once a week; they also call Morticia and Gomez at least once a week to check on how Tim is doing and they were also very happy to know that Tim has taken a liking to swords so they try to bring new types of weapons or literature related to weapons from the culture of their latest excavation so Tim can learn how different types of swords are wielded all around the world)

But anyway, Tim is going back to Gotham so he and Gomez work on creating a new sword for him with the family motto carved on the blade “Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc” which translates to “We Gladly Feast on Those Who Would Subdue Us” which is metal as fuck so yeah, and this sword is super durable and strong, inspired by a katana’s durability and a rapier’s gracefulness with a blade that is such a dark purple that it looks black like obsidian and the inscription of the family motto is carved in letters that are ruby red with a black hilt where an image of a drake is engraved in the same ruby red as the family motto (basically it is a Very Deadly Sword that is also Very Pretty with a dark aesthetic)

So Tim gets back to Gotham and one day he’s watching the news and sees The Batman saving the day and what not and sees Robin do a quadruple back flip and figures out their identities and decides that he wants to meet them at some point while on his nightly photography sessions of Gotham architecture; and if he manages to snap a couple of shots of Gotham’s heroes sometimes then that’s a bonus but Tim is mostly focused on capturing the essence of Gotham city (at this point in time when Tim moves back to Gotham he physically looks like 10-12 year old; he did meet Dick at the circus when he looked like he was 4 years old but for the purposes of the timeline Tim, as an Addams, can choose to remain at any age he desires for as long as he wants so while he did appear to be 4 years old at the circus, he had been alive for a couple of years more at this point, this also explains how he can master swords and fencing while physically looking like a 10 year old because he has been practicing for years as well as why he remembers Dick from that night at the circus)

So the timeline continues with Tim figuring out that the Bats are actually his neighbors but instead of staying away from the Waynes, he decides to go ask his parents if he can stay with the neighbors whenever they have to stay later than usual at the company or have to take a short business travel and they talk with Bruce about it and he agrees to take care of Tim, so now Tim has an in to befriend the Waynes and helps smooth out the edges of Dick and Bruce’s relationship so Bruce doesn’t fire Dick from Robin, but rather they talk about their feelings for once and Dick decides he wants to create his own superhero identity and Bruce supports his decision (Tim may or may not have had to talk about how his family happened to be very open about their feelings and worry for one another and how much closer they are due to talking to each other and resolving conflict; Alfred may or may not have been 100% behind Tim every time he made such a conversation) also, Tim is basically a trial run for Dick on becoming a big brother for when Jason arrives

One time Tim asks Dick if he knows how to fence which Dick can’t really answer because technically he knows how to fight with a sword but that’s for vigilante purposes which his civilian self isn’t supposed to know so Dick says that he doesn’t and asks Tim why he wanted to know, Tim proceeds to talk about how his favorite masked hero uses a sword to fight injustice and he has a black cape and a black horse and Bruce comes into the living room they’re in in the middle of Tim’s rambling about his favorite hero using a sword and is Concerned for a hot minute until Tim finishes the rant by saying “. . . and that’s why I like his movie so much, have you seen the Legend of Zorro?” (Cue relief for both Dick and Bruce because for all that they scrambled to put a name to the hero Tim was describing they couldn’t come up with one and were considering the possibility of a new player in the vigilante scene) so then Tim asks Mr. Bruce if he knows how to fence and Bruce says yes and asks if Tim would like to learn cue the “Oh, my uncle taught me how to fence a few years ago and when I lived with them we had a duel at least once a week, it was very fun so I was just wondering if you knew so we could practice if you want to Mr. Bruce”

Dick is 100% on board with this because the idea of Tiny Tim and 6’1” Bruce fencing is hilarious in his mind, Alfred is there to supervise and both Tim and Bruce are provided with the appropriate fencing equipment and protection; Bruce starts off slow and is surprised when Tim manages to beat him before starting to enjoy fencing with someone who can surprisingly keep up with him (Dick is taking pictures because the height difference is just too cute to be ignored and Tiny Tim is adorable in his own mini fencing equipment)

Whenever his parents do have to leave for extended periods of time (any company trip that takes more than 3-5 days qualifies as this) Tim stays with his aunt and uncle, thus starting a fun tradition of having spontaneous fencing duels with his uncle Gomez, basically if one of them is in the library then the other will shout ‘En-garde’ while throwing a sabre towards the other person and engaging in a quick duel; basically, if Tim is reading about the latest poisonous plants produced by Poison Ivy and annotating his research in order to get an idea of what would be a nice gift for his aunt Morticia and Gomez walks into the library then Gomez will grab two of the sabres they have on the wall for this exact purpose while shouting ‘en-garde’ before throwing a sabre at Tim and engaging in a duel, same goes for Tim, it’s almost instinct to the point that Tim has to hold himself back from doing exactly this whenever he sees Bruce in the library of Wayne Manor

Later on, when Jason is already adopted into the Wayne family, Tim still comes over and makes it his sacred mission to teach Jason the art of swords so he has another fencing buddy because “Mr. Bruce isn’t always here and I have decided that we will be friends and you’re pretty cool but knowing how to fight with a sword just ups your coolness level ya know?” So now Jason has smol Tim teaching him how to fence and it’s pretty fun to be able to do a taxing physical activity outside of being Robin with a friend, when Jason gets the hang of fencing Tim decides that he must now advance to the next level: sword fighting (Alfred is always there to supervise and give tips and pointers because he also knows how to fence but chooses to stay in the sidelines and let the young masters have their fun)

The problem with this is that, while the Waynes do have sabres for fencing, they don’t have swords, at least not in their civilian selves, so Tim decides to bring his own swords to teach Jason how to sword fight, Alfred is the first to see Tim’s very own special sword and is both impressed at the craftsmanship and concerned as to why a child has a sword, Jason thinks Tim’s sword is the coolest he has ever seen and Tim is happy to talk about how he made it himself with his uncle’s help when he finally learned all about sword fighting and promises Jason that they can make him his own cool sword when he learns how to sword fight too, Dick also thinks that the sword is a little concerning for a kid to have but he also wants his own cool sword and so now he insists Bruce has to teach him how to sword fight because Tim said he’s not allowed to have his own sword until he learns how to sword fight, Bruce is baffled as to why Tim has a sword, impressed at Tim’s skills in craftsmanship, and a little Concerned as to why Tim’s sword has that Latin inscription on the blade (no Tim, knowing that “we feast in those who would subdue us” is your family motto doesn’t calm me down yet it explains a lot about your mother)

By the time Damian comes along to the family he is very interested in where Jason and Dick got their Very Cool swords from, his father also has one and he wants to have his own Very Cool Sword too, thank you very much, and Tim visits them when Damian is still settling in and asks his customary question of if he knows how to use fence and gets an affirmative answer he asks Bruce if it would be ok for him and Damian to have a fencing duel, Bruce explains the rules to Damian and makes sure that Alfred, Dick, Jason and him are present in order to keep Damian from maiming/killing Tim

The duel does get a little out of hand as Damian gauges that Tim is more skilled than he previously thought so he stops holding back, Tim is positively grinning at this since he always has to hold back with the Waynes in a way that he doesn’t with Uncle Gomez because while an Addams won’t die from a stab to the heart, the same can’t be said for anyone else; the duel ends with Tim winning because he has more experience than Damian but he is positive beaming at how awesome Damian was and how these duels could become a weekly thing before they transition to swords and once Dames graduates from swords he can design his very own sword with Tim’s help as a sort of graduation present for learning how to sword fight and he’s sure that it won’t take too long for Damian to master swordsmanship because he’s basically a natural already and very skilled and this duel was so much fun Damian we have to do this again sometime oh my gosh I want to teach you everything I know it’s gonna be so much fun

And Damian, a poor baby, was mad at having lost to Tim but then Tim hits him with all this excitement and smiles and it’s the promise of getting his own Very Cool Sword is what gets him to agree to learn from Tim, it’s not that he feels warm at getting compliments from someone who also likes swords and knows what he’s doing in a fight, he definitely doesn’t find Tim cool at all, he’s just making use of a resource and he will learn everything Tim has to offer and become better than both Grayson and Todd, that’s all (that’s not all because it turns out that Damian is the younger brother Tim never had and he takes Dami under his wing and helps him adjust to a life outside the League of Assassins and how to find hobbies to enjoy; Damian won’t admit it but he is also Very Attached in to Timothy and feels like he won’t be judged for his past with him and he is also a fellow sword enthusiast so yeah)

Tim decides to do the same thing to Damian and initiating a quick fencing duel whenever he sees that Damian is in the gardens (no fencing inside the Manor on pain of Alfred’s eyebrow of disappointment); this helps Damian with the transition of learning to have fun and also learn to realize that not everybody is an enemy, it also helps keep up his training and burn some energy whenever he gets restless and helps him bond with Tim more

The idea was that Tim and Uncle Gomez would surprise each other with spontaneous fencing duels by shouting ‘en-garde’ at the other person whenever they find one another in the library, and now it turned into a fluff AU where Tim isn’t Robin but he’s still a family friend to the Waynes and an Addams and helps bring the family closer through his love of swords because yes

[lilyclawthorne]

Escaping Expulsion Thoughts (once again very stream of conscious-like while i rewatched the episode so there’s a bunch of stuff here)

i fucking knew odalia was gonna be an oracle, i knew and i hate that for her family. i’m not sure if this necklace thing is specifically a form of oracle magic or not but im assuming it is, and either way the second i saw it happen that made my stomach twist. the fact that she just keeps this direct line to her daughter at all times feels so disturbing

so, i get that the joke with glyph lessons here is that eda and lilith are probably acting the exact same way they did when they were younger, but it does also feel a little odd for me. in my post for episode 1 i talked about how it felt like lilith probably missed the structure of the coven, and maybe even having an authority figure, and it does concern me a bit that it could be projected on to luz here. 

also, i saw someone mention that they thought lilith could be regressing a bit, which is interesting seeing as she’s been in the coven since basically being a child and now that she’s out, she could be going backwards because that was probably the last time she had a personality of her own instead of one that was carefully crafted to be socially acceptable for others. and to be fair, the few moments in season 1 when we see glimpses into the true lilith, she is pretty childish.

anyways lilith has such pretty handwriting i love it

gus!! witch puberty!! do not worry buddy eda will get your name eventually. probably.

amity went out and murdered those fairies for luz didn’t she

i need to know why the heck bump has no choice in the matter of the expulsion. typically a pta (or pca in this case) wouldn’t have power that much stronger than the principa?? so i wonder if the blights have something over bump, or if its even just something such as donation money they’d withdraw

odalia blight you gaslighting bitch “I’m appalled you’re not in class right now what are you thinking” YOU MADE HER COME HERE

PLEASE i know gus and willow are sad here but the whole “live off the land” thing and “water you one last time, with my tears” are so fucking funny ok

GO LUZ, YOU TELL OFF ODALIA

i feel like alador doesn’t really care what’s going on and just wants to be back home making his abomination inventions, also he seems to have an affinity for different creatures as well which is an interesting detail

i love that willow stated they would get back in on their own right in front of alador and odalia. these people fucked up her friendship and caused her a lot of trouble that she shouldn’t have had to deal with so i love that she’s unafraid to speak like that in front of them

between the first & second episode, and some of the seasons trailer, it seems like Lilith may have an affinity for ice magic? which is interesting seeing as eda was always a fan of her “spicy toss” aka some fire magic. interesting to see the two of them as fire & ice basically

i LOVE how much bump loves luz, willow, and gus. it’s kinda really sweet, but again it feels so concerning that he had no choice in the matter. makes me think he’s more likely to eventually rebel against the standards that have been in place for so long at some point. (also abominations coven for bump!! interesting!! i appreciate seeing the coven marks included on the adults so far)

what is it with these kids and being dragged off by their hoods in this episode

love that the blights address includes “right arm”, also i took a quick look up of the word “bruegal” which is boulevard they live on, and it’s probably just a coincidence but the first google result was actually for a european think tank that specializes in economics

yknow i actually have wondered about layering glyphs on top of each other and making a super glyph the way eda did, so good to know that would NOT work out

luz you’re really gonna give the blights their own flowers??????

it goes by so fast but please take a moment to take in and appreciate the design of that blight entry room/living room-esque area and it’s combination of abomination and oracle decor. also the blight family portrait.

i could talk about alador and odalia and their relationship dynamic here, when luz is meeting with them, but i think it’s best to save for the end, but i will say i don’t think it’s just odalia controlling everything (though she does control a lot) and alador just suffering and being silent. 

the more i stare at odalia’s hair the more i feel like she has an odd receding hairline

love that the abomination kept the cat shape luz gave it and that amity knew immediately from that

WILLOW’S DADS!!! I LOVE THEM! I love how much they want their daughter to have a great education even if they have to be the ones to do it! (even if it could come across as a little intense) Although, the fact that they’re prepared to teach plant magic to her makes me question why they put her in abominations once again. (wish we could’ve gotten a glimpse of their coven marks!)

odalia is definitely the one who handles more of the parenting and alador is more distant. at least that’s what i get based on the twins specifying to amity not to tell their mom specifically

absolutely insane that odalia is just letting the abomiton destroy the whole place to kill a child

“stay away from my luz!” oh my god,ohmy GOD 

i like how lilith can’t tell if these are normal noises or distress ones. really sums up life in the owl house. also lilith? kicking doors in?? this combined with “I AM A WITCH, UNHINGED” tells me she’ll be as chaotic as the rest of the owl house in no time and i am here for it.

the music when amity jumps in to protect luz is absolutely killing it here i need a soundtrack now

YES AMITY DESTROY THE NECKLACE (and oh god please don’t let odalia give you something even harder to remove or destroy)

Luz is blushing!! The feelings are starting to be returned!!!

“Luz, Willow, and Gus are my friends!” love it. love the open declaration. love that she’s telling her mother off. love that i have something to check off my bingo board already.

okay, i know a lot of people have already suggested that alador is smiling here because he can tell luz and amity like each other, but i’m pretty sure it’s only because he’s noticing how much amity’s magic has grown and improved

small detail but i love the smoke from the units order sign filling the background while odalia is fuming herself

oh? alador has had the ability to tell odalia off and successfully calm her down this whole time? and chose not to use it till now? yeah he sucks too. he very clearly has a plan for amity as much as odalia does as well, but he’s much better at seeing the long-term goal

“the glyph combo, copyright me, lilith” im screaming, lilith you DORK

ok i really wish eda or lilith asked where luz had been. i’d kill for these sisters to go off about how much they hated the alador and odalia in school, as well as threaten to hurt them for hurting luz.

the statue lilith made and her reaction to the gold star she received re-emphasizes my concern about her need for approval and for an authority figure. (ok but her noise at the gold star WAS very cute tho)

alright lets get down to business on the blight parents. so far i definitely do not view their relationship as being one-sided with odalia in control. honestly, i think they do have a sense of mutual respect for the other. to me it seems like all alador really wants to do is focus on his work and nothing else, and odalia seems not only more than happy to let him do so, but willing to take care of everything else the company needs, and he seems fine with that and going along with whatever because he only has to do his part. and clearly his abomination tech combined with her showmanship/advertising (and honestly probably some oracle magic) has clearly made them successful. 

so what im saying is that i think their power in their relationship is actually pretty balanced, if it looks otherwise that’s just because that’s how they best function together, with odalia being more forward and alador being more distant, and therefore they’re very much both to blame for shitty parenting. 

also I know some people have joked about the blight family name coming from odalia (which is also a dumb joke like why is it funny if the family name comes from the woman and not the man) but anyways I definitely do think blight is aladors family name and odalia married in simply because he takes the whole blights keep up their end of the deal thing much more seriously than odalia. probably something that’s been taught to him since he was a kid yknow, whereas she was super ready to ignore it when it inconvenienced her.

as for the very final scene with them and the golden guard, i had an interpretation of it that i saw, but it seems that everyone else ive see react to it so far saw something different than me so maybe i’m just plain wrong. but like, i have this feeling that maybe the blight parents, while they do want power, might not be as aligned with the emperor and his coven as we may think?? not saying they’re good people, just that there could be more going on here. but idk, i’ve seen no one else interpret it that way yet so i won’t go off about it unless either someone wants to know more of what i thought or if i ever actually make myself get around to making a separate post about it. 

[everything-laito]

Laito Sakamaki and His Relationships with the Sakamaki Family: an Anthology (more like biggo rant)

DaYUM; I’ve accidentally let these pile up in my ask box, so I will answer all of these in one post… Prepare for a huuuuge rant under the cut! Also thank you so much @hotline-to-hell​, you’re so lovely and supportive as usual, and thanks sm for contributing, same goes for you, anons!! Let’s break this up into parts tho… and start with the biggest one yet: Laito and Ayato’s relationship. 

I swear this is like an anthology,,,,, biggo rant under the cut!

Laito’s relationships with Ayato

I regularly call Ayato and Laito “double trouble.” This is because they’re usually found as a pair when some ultra-harassing is being planned. Despite Ayato sometimes visibly being uncomfortable as a result of Laito’s antics, he’s the one that gets along with him the most. The reason why Ayato has resentment for Laito seems to be that Laito wouldn’t help Ayato when they were kids; and Laito would be a bystander. Ayato was also a bystander in the Laito situation too. A very heartfelt moment occurs at the end of Ayato and Laito’s VS CD: [9/28/21: UPDATED TRANSLATION; THIS ONE’S MORE CORRECT]

Laito: You see, I often thought about why I was the person I was. Or why I couldn’t be like you or Kanato-kun instead? That’s why I hate you…I loathe how you feign ignorance when you actually know exactly what’s going on. And above all…I’m envious of how you can be so honest and upright about everything. …I know I can never be like that. I’ve been ruined by that woman. I’m not hiding my feelings either. They’ve simply been erased from within me. …Haha. Ayato: I hate you too. You’re never honest…I mean, if only you had asked for my help at some point, I would haveーーI knew you were putting up a tough facade the whole time. …However, as much as I admired you for your strength, it also pissed me off at the same time. I couldn’t forgive you.

(First of all this confirms that Laito didn’t like what Cordelia did to him; it was forced emotion on this end, thus creating a facade. I think I went over this in my Hilde analysis a little bit through the context of Hilde’s situation). Laito feels like he is permanently soiled and cannot move past this situation, and that’s terrible. However I should do a separate analysis on this drama CD. (I was going to put this in another analysis I think but then took it out last minute) 

Second of all, I believe that what Ayato means by that Laito’s “not honest” is that he knows Laito has a facade [with updated translation: this is confirmed]. Aka having a facade does not make you honest. I mean, he’s known Laito throughout his whole life; and Ayato is decently observant. He also obviously hangs around with Laito more often than his other brothers, (and vise versa) so it makes sense that Ayato would know something was up. He just has a vendetta against Laito because Laito would avoid conflict [UPDATED:] and the fact that Laito didn’t come to him. 

----------------UPDATED ANALYSIS 9/28/21----------------

The fact that Ayato sees Laito being strong is,,,,, so sweet and very accurate. Laito is defnitely strong and Ayato being like “if only you’d ask for my help”––GOD THIS BREAKS MY HEART AAAAA but Laito wasn’t honest with Ayato especially when they were kids because Laito probably didn’t know how to vocalize what was happening between him and Cordelia. And on top of that, there was no emotional stability in the triplet’s lives, so Laito felt like he needed to take it upon himself in order to to try his best to protect Ayato and Kanato. Obviously, this made Ayato feel bad because he wanted Laito to come to him too, and be there for Laito like how Laito was there for him. Sure Laito couldn’t do much when they were children, but he tried his best with what he was able to do. Ayato can’t forgive Laito for doing this to himself and pushing all his emotions down just so he could be there for Ayato and Kanato. It makes sense why Ayato was pissed off by this, yet grateful at the same time.

And Laito being absolutely self aware with his own lack of honesty just,,,, gives me the feels. But Laito calling out Ayato for feigning ignorance also makes sense too. Ayato knew about the whole Cordelia thing with Laito, and yet never reached out with that. I mean, I’m not sure what Ayato could have done at that point since it happened when they were older (at least the first time Cordelia sexually abused him––I know things happened when Laito was a child but I think he was more groomed as a kid in my opinion and from my deductions) and Ayato and Laito were drifting at this point.

Ok now that’s my updated part of this analysis, this was a pretty old one and I just had new thoughts and found a better translation.

---------------------------UPDATE END-------------------

Remember the whole thing I said in Laito and Shin’s VERSUS CD analysis was that Laito hates conflict and runs from his problems. It’s probably a defense mechanism of his but it’s honestly done more harm than solve it. This caused Ayato to kind of be stronger for himself, since he couldn’t get that strength from Laito. So that’s really sad, and answers the question whether or not any of his brothers know about his mask. But I believe it might just be Ayato, and I will get to that in a minute. It also answers Laito and Ayato’s love/hate relationship. 

I think that Ayato is more scared of Laito in the sense that he’s concerned about what’s he’s become. Like Ayato is always down to clown with Laito, and then Laito says some really weird shit sometimes that makes Ayato be like “oh god why”. I know I mentioned this but it is something to emphasize. I do think that Ayato knows that Laito is calculating, cunning, and manipulative as all hell. I don’t think he’s scared of him, or else why would he choose to hang out with Laito? Laito has nothing to gain by forcing Ayato to clown with him.  Ayato usually doesn’t let Laito mess around with him if Ayato’s already got it going with another person; in this case, Yui. Their interactions within Vandead Carnival and Lunatic Parade is more like “omg Laito don’t embarrass me in front of Yui” (which,,, Laito does, and tells Yui that he’s so superstitious that he sleeps with a belly warmer lol just so Ayato can exchange something embarrassing too). I’d say they have the most “brotherly” relationship out of all the Sakamakis (rivals Subaru’s and Shuu’s relationship but that’s really an unspoken one).

Despite them being closer than the rest, that doesn’t mean they’re the closest pair. Laito still feels the need to prove himself that he doesn’t have his emotional problems in front of Ayato still, which is also probably why it drives Ayato away. Ayato can’t comfort Laito usually considering his facade builds a wall. And it’s hard to get to someone’s heart when it’s reinforced with steel, basically. So yes, he still wears his facade around Ayato; considering it only seems that they hang out when they’re horny and want some fun lol. I haven’t seen another instance where they do, or at least that’s the most common one. 

Laito’s relationship with Kanato

I finished Kanato’s HDB route a while back, and I just gotta say,,,, man,,,,, wow,,,,, that was quite the doozy. As for him and Laito? It’s quite hard to tell, but, Laito is still there for Kanato. Sure Laito’s there when Ayato harasses him and calls him “hysteric” but Laito never insults him. There’s even a point where Laito plays a “big brother” role and gives Kanato advice: 

Laito: Fufu~ Kanato-kun, shall I give you a little warning? Kanato: I don’t need such a thing. Laito: Don’t say that and just listen~ …If you take your sweet time, she’ll get snatched away from underneath your eyes, you know? Kanato: …

Sure it’s kinda…. morbid advice, but it is advice that helps Kanato regardless. And Kanato takes it! He listened to Laito! It’s obvious that Kanato is really annoyed by Laito (which gives me a reason why he doesn’t know about Laito’s situation with Cordelia on top of Laito’s facade) and doesn’t want anything to do with him (or Ayato, for that matter). I believe he says at one point in his route how he was isolated from the other siblings, mainly due to Cordelia. However, since Kanato listened to Laito despite him saying “I don’t need such a thing” kinda implies some kind of respect for Laito. He might know that Laito is calculating and smart in that manner. But do I think that he caught on to Laito wearing a facade all the time? Nah, he cares about himself too much and also just does his own stuff most of the time. 

This quote I’m adding also happens in Kanato’s route; it doesn’t add much but I did laugh a little reading this: 

Ayato: Does she like Kanato that much? That’s impossible. She’s heading down a path of despair for sure. Laito: Fufu…That’s something you could say about any one of us though~ Ayato: …Che.

It’s just a well crafted meta joke from Laito; he says it in such a cheerful way but man, that’s sad.

That’s about it for Laito and Kanato; I don’t think Laito says much about Kanato and vise versa. They really stay out of each others’ business, mainly because Kanato isolates himself out of spite, really. 

---------------------------------INTERMISSION------------------------------------

Before I move onto the other ones, just a little shoutout to my inspiration for this blog: @/akai-anemone 

I read her analyses on Laito about five years ago, and unfortunately, she has stopped. But, she has some really good stuff and I definitely recommend checking it out. Here’s some big bro Laito moments she’s brought up too: 

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/68549708275/heres-one-of-my-favorite-big-bro-laito-moments

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/68539626117/on-the-subject-of-the-relationship-between-the

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/65005954447/narihira-ayato-tells-laito-that-hes-building-a 

https://akai-anemone.tumblr.com/post/64621970821/big-bro-laito 

Please check her out!! She’s so lovely and although she’s not active anymore, I want to pay tribute to her too. I really hope I can be a good successor of her’s for the DL/Laito community. 

------------------------------INTERMISSION END---------------------------------

Laito’s relationship with Subaru

Honestly probably one of my favorite Sakamaki brother dynamics aside from Ayato and Laito. If you haven’t heard of the Laito vs Subaru, here it is for your listening pleasure (LINK). It’s probably one of my favorite fanservicey CDs, because Laito really just is getting the most out of the situation. 

Laito and Subaru are quite the dynamic duo. Subaru doesn’t have an affinity for Laito and man, it shows. He’s always telling Laito to shut up, and similarly to his other brothers, he’s always like “wtf” when Laito says something wack. Laito’s absolutely entertained by this though, and since he’s older than Subaru, he definitely uses it to his advantage to mess with him. Since Subaru’s your “tsundere” part of the group (more than Ayato), and easily read more than Ayato is, Laito has so much fun teasing him and calling him out in front of Yui. Here’s one of my favorite interactions from the CD:

L: Ehe~.. I’ll be taking those words as a compliment. Your jealousy is really a pleasant thing to me, ahaha. S: Ah?! JEALOUSY?! L: Oh? Aren’t you jealous? Extremely? Ufu, the reason Subaru-kun is so annoyed is that.. S: Fuck that! There’s no way it’s that! Don’t make me laugh!! It’s not like I… to this girl… L: Mm, tsk tsk tsk. Subaru-kun isn’t very honest, is he. What I said is the truth. You’re– S: SHUT UP! *breaks something* L: Woah! Geez… when I hit the nail on the head every time I’d like it if you didn’t break the things around us. Look, bitch-chan is also scared, isn’t she? Am I right? 

Laito, the perceptive motherfucker (,,,,dark joke im sorry), is back at it again, but terrorizing Subaru (and indirectly terrorizing the infrastructure of the house lol). I think it’s another brotherly moment of him to kind of make Subaru realize his feelings too. I don’t know too much about Subaru (although his MB route made me cry lol) but I do know that he’s just a fiercely independent guy that also kinda self isolated himself similarly to Kanato; but doesn’t nearly have as much built up hatred to his siblings. 

 Here’s some more Laito messing with Subaru quotes from that CD. Mainly because I find it so entertaining. 

L: Uwa.. Subaru-kun is scary~ dragging along a senseless girl by her hair. S: SHUT UP PERVERT!.. Right now as you wish.. I’ll make this girl crumble… everything is working out like you desired, right? L: Ufu, really? I did it! In that case, why don’t I stay here and watch your excellent ideas slowly and carefully?

Laito: Fufufu~ You just don’t understand the depths of love yet, Subaru-kun~ Laito: …Well then, Bitch-chan…Doesn’t seem like anyone will come and save us any time soon, so let’s have lots and lots more fun, okay? Haahn…Mm… Subaru: The fuck’s the ‘depths of love’!? I don’t care if I don’t understand that crap. I’ll love you…in my own way. So brace yourself, okay? …Mmh!

That’s so damn rich coming from Laito. This is just Laito’s version of a “haha virgin�� joke (which I don’t think Subaru is lol). However, it seems that Laito considers Subaru “pure,” similar in Ayato’s fashion. Maybe this statement is a little jealous quip at that. Who knows!

Laito’s relationship with Reiji

Laito and Reiji…. Man, this is an entertaining relationship. They’re seemingly opposites: agent of chaos and agent of order. (However, Subaru is more physically chaotic lol). Although Laito does kind of fill the “big bro” position for most of his brothers, Reiji is definitely more of a “parental” figure. Laito knows how to get under Reiji’s skin and just does it for fun. I just find it really entertaining. Sure I’m not the biggest Reiji fan like I’ve said before, but wow I love their interactions. Reiji can be a buzzkill for Laito, which certainly annoys him as well. Their relationships in the tokuten CDs are my favorite; especially when Kou and Laito pester Reiji to make them food. However, Reiji treats Laito like a nuisance as well, especially during his MB out when a desperate Laito comes to Reiji begging for help. Reiji’s extremely blunt in that situation and basically is like “why don’t you just kill her” and doesn’t attempt to comfort Laito when he’s crying when Yui kills herself in MB. I feel like Reiji is a nice foil for Laito’s character in their interactions, especially during that scene:

Reiji: Oh… …Are you crying? Laito: Eh, this… …is what you call tears? Reiji: The water that flows from the eyes are tears. Laito: Why am I crying for? Reiji: … … Are you happy or sad, it can be either. Laito: I’m… … Reiji: Well, please leave quickly and carry the corpse out with you. Laito: It’s cold… …I’m shedding so many tears, why are they coming out so fast… … Reiji: … … It would be the result of which you invited.

They don’t interact often, and when they do, it’s either entertaining or meaningful, it seems. At least in my opinion.

Laito’s relationship with Shuu

Now this one’s interesting. Exaggerated “pervert” vs actual pervert. Putting it out there, I don’t think Shuu’s a closet pervert as most say; he’s just quiet in general, but his perverse remarks are incredibly obvious. These two don’t interact often (although Shuu interacts with his brothers less than Kanato) but WOW can they freaking duet!! I love their song Camouflage. But, that aside, their reactions are limited to Shuu making quips at Laito; either telling him to shut up or like “wtf Laito” (similarly to his other brothers). My favorite scene of them both is when Shuu calls Laito a “wannabe pervert”. 

Laito: Haha. Shu, isn’t it unusual for you to feel uneasy? Are you jealous? Fufu… … Shu: Bothersome… …I’m in a bad mood now. My music is spoiled because of your useless chattering. … … As for the concept of jealousy, it’s impossible for me to express… …you imitated pervert. Laito: … … Do you want to be killed? Shu: Hmph… …whatever you like?

This sets Laito off a bit, and Shuu definitely knows what he’s doing. Laito’s even taken aback, given his pause and the lack of a retort. It’s uncertain to see if Shuu actually knows what’s up with Laito or not, but I do think that Shuu is more perceptive than what he lets on. This also just reinforces the fact that Laito wants to meticulously build his character/facade as the perverted type, and doesn’t want it to be broken down; which is why he gets mad at Shuu. 

Well that’s all of Laito’s relationships with his brothers! Now onto the bigger picture.

Laito’s overall relationship with the Sakamakis and their implications + conclusions

This one’s gonna be a bit all over the place, so I apologize for that. 

Have you ever noticed that Laito doesn’t resort to name calling like the rest of his brothers? Even Reiji, the more “””refined””” brother calls Shuu a good for nothing. He only resorts to name-calling women. This, I find very intriguing. He usually has more indirect comments at his brothers, but they’re not nearly as malicious as the others. Or they’re insightful or just him teasing them; I don’t believe he has malicious intent towards his brothers like he says he does. Unless if he says he does; Laito doesn’t get actually LEGIT mad that easily. 

Also, yes, Laito does keep his mask on around his siblings. He’s just not as pervy when Yui’s not there because,,,, Yui’s not there, or if she’s not the topic of the conversation (or any woman for that matter), he has no reason to be pervy unless if something comes up. He always feels the need to be pervy though; Shuu straight up calls him a “wannabe pervert,” since Laito heavily exerts it to the point where it’s probably a joke. 

However, there’s something that’s been bothering me. I did mention it in this (https://everything-laito.tumblr.com/post/624910343406256128/impromptu-analysis-more-of-this-coming-soon) analysis, but TLDR; Nobody interacts with you or Laito in Laito’s HDB route. I could even say the same with his MB route, but that highlights his rivalry with Kou. In HDB, there is rarely any interaction with other brothers or even implied interaction with them. Subaru doesn’t even show up in the entirety of Laito’s route from what I can remember. In Kanato’s route, (which Kanato is the most overtly possessive/yandere of them all imo) Laito and Ayato still interact with him when you’re around, or even when he’s not around. But nobody dares to interact with you in Laito’s route much when you’re alone. Its bone chilling isolation. If there is interaction with the other brothers, it’s very limited and very quick. They’re very careful about what they say to you, when Laito’s around or not. They know he’s always watching, and we know he’s always watching. 

But, Kanato’s the one that spits out death threats all the time and is definitely like “Yui’s mine” in his route. But, it seems that he’s not much of a threat to the other brothers; and like I mentioned, Laito even gives him advice, which he listens to. However, nobody dares to get under Laito’s radar, because it seems that he can turn into an actual threat to the others. I mean, Laito probably has killed as many people as Kanato, if not more. Laito is no stranger to killing in cold blood. He’s killed so many suitors under Cordelia. This is beyond the other brothers being disgusted with Laito’s actions. This is the other brothers not wanting to mess with Pandora’s Box. 

Sure, we know that Laito dislikes outward violence, but he’s a master at manipulation and gaslighting, and doing stuff sneakily. They don’t know what to expect because of his mask being on at all times; they can’t get an efficient read on him, and even if they were “plotting” something against him or wanting to take Yui, they couldn’t. He has eyes everywhere. So instead, the other brothers avoid him in the sacrificial bride situation. He’s a force to be reckoned with, and they seem to know that he’s smarter than what he lets on. 

Well, if you’re still here, thanks for reading as always! So sorry this has been so delayed! (And Hotline, I will get to your other part of your ask in another post, I didn’t forget about it!!)

Hope you all are doing well!

-Corn

[aclosetfan]

21

(ask game) thank you so much for playing the game!! you’re the best (per usual)!!

Helllll yeahhhhh 21 is the DUMBEST STUPIDEST fic I’ve ever made and I lovvveee it 💚💙❤️ it’s the “Vampire Zombie” one i mentioned in the original ask game post 😂😂

So glad someone picked the number!! Background to keep in mind: do yall remember when there was just a shit ton of Vampire fics on FFN?? Idk about ao3, but for newer fandom members this was TOTALLY a trend in the early 2000s on ffn, and I was like why the fuck are all of these here??? And like, why is it constantly a predator-prey relationship between the rrb and ppg??? So I was like wait…okay, but this could be funny and decided to write a story making fun of these super cringey stereotypes.

The story would be a multi fic and I have zero idea how to explain it concisely, so basically below the cut is just me laying it all out for you srsly I’m just bearing my soul to you:

For the girls’ birthday, the Professor tricks out the simulation room they train in to be a VR game room b/c the girls had talked about VR once (and only once), but the Professor thought it was cool and ran with it. The Girls can create a world of their choosing and explore. They admit the idea is pretty cool and eventually start arguing where they should “go” first. Blossom suggests a historical era like the Victorian era/Bubbles suggests something romantic, where she hints at vampires/Buttercup doesn't like any of those ideas, but the vampires reminded her of all of her zombie videogames she plays and she ends up suggesting something like that instead/ To prevent arguing the Professors says he’ll combine all three ideas into one!

[[how does this machine work??? IDK in the spirit of early 2000 fanfics, anything complicated and confusing is only vaguely explained—which has in story effects that drive Blossom INSANE! Idk how it would work technically, but my choices as the writer on what is/is not describe and purposeful grammar mistakes has story implications] [ill explain this more later]]

The Professor loads up the “game,” but something malfunctions. He tells the girls (Buttercup) not to touch anything. She doesn't listen and ends up plugging something into an entirely different device against Blossom & Bubbles protest. The device is that old “time machine” thing the Professor made in one of the OG cartoon (the one where the girls meet the Young Professor). It turns out that whatever she does (again still don't ask me how) fuses the basic concept of the two machines together and creates a device that transports them to a parallel universe that matches the specifications of the “game” they wanted to create.

[[Throughout the story, i want to include little video game gags, like bottomless bags for storage, or random bullets laying around, little things like that. (they've lost their powers/ but BC keeps finding all these random guns/knifes so they're good) I also give the girls the “ability” to read the dialogue I write. So, when I mess up a comma (i.e. Let’s eat Grandma! vs Let’s eat, Grandma!), Blossom will look at the “character” they’re talking to and be like, “WELL, which is IT!?”] [I know it’s stupid, but I think its so fun!]]

So, because of the video game “glitch,” the girls think for the longest time they’re actually IN a video game, but when they “go to sleep” thinking that’ll save the game and they can quit, per Professor’s instruction, they find out they can’t. Cue freak out. After the calm down, Buttercup’s like okay, listen we probably just have to beat the game! Too bad they don’t know what the game’s objective is exactly. They just know they’re dressed in Victorian Era clothes and their “Professor” is the town’s doctor? Their mother died (tragically). It’s all a bit dramatic. They start searching for clues. Eventually, they find out that the Town has a zombie problem (THANKS BUTTERCUP!), and Blossom figures if they can cure that, they beat the game. Unbeknownst to them, they are actually stuck in a stupid vampire love plot there just happens to be zombies. [Like, you can’t have one supernatural creature without another and I wasn’t going to write about werewolves.] No one in town seems to care about the undead problem. Buttercup keeps “leveling up,” Blossom’s on the verge of a breakdown, and then, finally, Bubbles meets Boomer.

Boomer swears up and down Bubbles is his fated mate. Bubbles—who is definitely interested—is like ooo so you’re a vampire, cutie? He’s broody about it. She’s like so do you sparkle in the sun?? (I absolutely love sparkles, she says). He’s like, wut?? She’s like, do you sparkle???? He’s like, uh no, the sun kind of burns my energy tho. She’s like, oh. Okay. I see. You don’t sparkle. Sooo, well, haha, okay you seem like a really really sweet guy with the whole eternal devotion thing, but I don’t think this is really going to work out between us. He’s again like WUT. Boomer gets broken up with because he doesn’t sparkle.

Vampire Butch is flat out scared of Buttercup. Like he fully admits he’s sucked infants dry of their blood; he’s why people should fear the night; he’s not a “good guy”; but BC is a force to be reckoned with. In the Victorian era, I’m guessing they had little to no experience with the modern day “bro” and BC is full on bro. This doesn’t mesh well with Butch’s broody, dark, vampire thing he’s got going on. She’s too vulgar for a Victorian lady, she wears things called “Chacos,” and she has a gun??? Multiple guns. And He. Has. No. Fucking. Idea. What. She. Is. Saying!! No! He will not “dab her up!” No, he “doesn’t lift.” This wasn’t his mysterious, tough (but still a damsel, mind you) mate he met one fateful evening, this was some heathen creature (and this is coming from a vampire), so please, please, please, can he kill her?????  

Blossom’s like I don’t like to be touched and I’m a lesbian, and Brick’s like one) I think I respect you more than the old Blossom; two) the zombies just appeared, stop asking; three) you need to now help us find our mates before their eighteenth birthday or we’re all screwed.

Ready to kick ass and fight sexist stereotypes with their new “bros,” the girls set out with their new objective, hoping beyond hope that once they find the missing girls they’ll be able to go home. The girls find out that their parallel alternatives went disappearing a few days ago, so their “return” had been a relief to the whole town. [[Blossom’s like why did no one question our clothing?!?! Why are there zombies?!?!]] ugh and then, I don’t know what happens :( really. I never really ended it. They girls just constantly shit on the boys being broody vampires and kick zombie ass, like idk what else a gal could want out of a story. I feel like they end up finding the other girls. And I think that I was going to bring HIM into the mix, but it’s still just regular HIM. It turns out that HIM likes jumping dimensions to make the Girls life hell in every lifetime and has cursed the three girls living in the vampire dimension. (“I’ve got a life outside of just you, ya know.” HIM huffed, “What are you three doing here?”) It also turns out that out of all the dimensions, our Girls as Superheroes are the best at beating HIM and saving the day, so he’s extra pissy that they’re ruining his carefully crafted “historical romance vampire soap opera.” Blossom loses her shit because the historical inaccuracies are too high to now ignore, Bubbles is pissed because HIM didn’t make good enough vampires, and Buttercup’s like honestly, not a bad game, ngl. Everyone ignores her.

[[They beat HIM, free the other girls, return home, and BC obsesses over their stats sheets. Back in Vampire land, the boys are like wait a second the relationships we are now stuck in suck.] [The zombies are still not explained]]

[cloudsrust]

Do u have any personal head cannons for the OFF folks??? I am 👂👁👂

*cracks knuckles* Let’s see how many of them I remember- it’s been years after all sygdhf. Headcanons under the cut since it’s quite long.

Elsens: (think I already talked about these ones but Imma repeat them here for order. Also yes starting with the Elsens because I love them to bits sobs;;)

-Since they are so many, they start off with numbers as their names. To have one of their own they gotta either earn it or they just use nicknames among each others. -They cannot normally travel through zones on their own will. They can only do so through a demontion/promotion or because of the will of their Guardian.

-Being bitten or wounded by a spectre isn’t always mortal for them, the stress of the attack can be however. Not because they become burnt (gonna get to it to the next point), but because they either: A) get eaten/killed off by the spectre due to them being vulnerable in that state, so they aren’t able to fight back. B) They’re disposed off by their guardian as damage and stress control. (Would’nt want other elsens to see them on a rampage and become burnt too afterall.)

- I believe they can still live after turning burnt- they won’t have a head anymore but they can be calmed down to go back to their “normal” lives. Having no head means no eyes- so from that point on they’ll have to live with being blind. In Zone 1 being blind, or just remotely impaired for that matter, is a death sentence- unless Zone 3 is searching for blind workers specifically- after all they got a certain job in which not seeing can be preferable..

- This is an headcanon I got by seeing the artwork of the artist @/katatumuripai (Their Elsen art is both cute and creepy- but extremely cool looking! I really suggest you check ‘em out!). Spectres/other enemies only attack if they sense deep fear or if they are threatened (approaching them can easily be seen as threat too)- but if they’re left in peace and not forced into contact they’re safe to be around. They can even warm up to a certain Elsen and become like pets for them. Batter:

-*Deep breath* ...nonbinary Batter. Agender/Gendervoid to be more precise. They got a mission to fulfill, they got no time for stuff like gender. (Also idk why but I feel it fits their whole thing of purity.. really no idea why it does tho;;;)

-Their eyes are always closed, as if in some kind of trance- especially when the Puppeteer is in control of them. When left “stringless” they can open their eyes, but why should they? (enter a whole speech of them wanting to keep themselves pure even in mind/not wanting to see the world in such state for personal taste.) I like the idea of you only seeing their eyes once you’re not in control of them anymore- in the Judge ending. (Also explains why you literally need to throw eyes at your opponent to know their weak points/stats lmao.)

Zacharie:

-If you ask him what’s their gender they’re gonna answer either “Merchant” or ignore the question. He vibes with any pronouns.

-Under their mask? Void. Just a pair of frog like eyes starring back at you.

-Has a collection of unusual/rare items (the ones you can collect and give to them for either the Aries card or the Ashley bat (Can’t believe I still remember that after 5 years lmao)) that he would never sell (shocking I know.)

-He might look a bit out of shape/weak but they have an impressive strenght. Better not mess with them.

-This is... very self indulgent but- they travelled across all of the zones not only to to fulfill his role as a merchant but also to collect enough colors for Sucre (ex. the Red of the meat fountains, the Blue of the library walls, the Yellow of the sand in Zone 0, etc.). They wanted to paint a rainbow for her in their hiding spot (Yes I still think about “Somewhere over the Rainbow” as the ending song to this day sdhsgds). Every reset he hopes to have enough time or well... luck- to do so with her before the world is turned OFF.

Sucre:

-Genderfluid Sucre... and she likes to use she/her pronouns the most! (She likes the sound of them.)

-An artist at heart. No matter what she got she will find a way to turn it into art- be it painting, music, dance, crafting.. anything goes!

-Was found and adopted by Zacharie as a sibling. They have a very strong bond.

-Extremely hyperactive and willing to know others but will get uneasy/anxious if there are too many people around.

The Judge/Pablo and Valerie:

-Very good at table top games/card/chess, no matter if they require skill or just luck- they seem to always win! A match between the two of them is a sight to behold.

-Both love to read, but Judge prefers witty comedies while Valerie is more interested in unusual tragedies (eh.. see what I did here? ..I’ll show myself in the corner.)

Dedan:

-*Even deeper breath* ...Italian Dedan. Listen I know the creator might’ve been joking and I don’t even know how nationalities or stuff would work in OFF bUT- I’m using the headcanon. (I need a badass and scary Italian character in my life y’all;;).

-Following the previous headcanon, he slips into Italian cursing when EXTREMELY angered. (And I don’t know about you all but when someone starts screaming profanities in Italian I get SCARED- it’s just so harsh,,)

-He is quite good at sewing, he needed to get good at it to fix up his coat (A gift from the queen herself) after every spectre attack- but he took a liking in it.  He now makes leather aprons out of the cows’ coats for his barns’ workers.

-He has retractable claws, kinda like a feline.

Japhet:

-They can change their size/body age- like a phoenix but they do so on their own will. (That’s how I explain their size changes during their boss fight. -At times they like to choose an Elsen in their library and just use their head as a nest for a nice nap. (While in their smallest form of course.)

Enoch:

-A good cook- but I wouldn’t trust his choice in ingredients..

-(Tw: possible cannibalism mention) There is a rumor around the lower class elsens of his factory that he eats his own rebellious employees whole- it’s just a rumor they hope.

-His body is very.. malleable. (Him using the tubes of his factory to get to the station before you)

-He smells like a snake, using his tongue. (listen he got no nose sdsgdhs)

The Queen:

-She is known as the Queen of a thousands faces because her expression/traits depends on the feelings/emotions of those who see it. The reason why we see her without a face is because we are seeing her through Batter’s “eyes”, a being with no emotions or feelings.

-Those tentacle arms are perfect for hugs and you can’t tell me otherwise.

-Her hair can move by her will.

Don’t have any headcanons for poor Hugo unfortunately,, These are all the ones that I remember right now though!

[smokahuntis]

Venari

Hunt

Pairing : Jacob Frye x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, fluff, ANGST, love, ARGUING

Summery: Jacob finds himself not wanting to leave (y/n) in the morning even tho he has to.

This was based off this post, idk why but it inspired me.

She looked so peaceful, the sun coming in threw her white curtains, dancing on her bare skin. He never knew how she didn’t wake up with it right in her eyes but he didn’t mind it. He loved just laying there for a few minutes with her in his arms. But he always has to go, if he didn’t and Eve found out, she’d have his head, and if her father found it, he’d be dead. Perks of sleeping with the enemies daughter, but if she wasn’t the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

(Y/n) was nothing like her father, or Jacob for the matter, it blew his mind how he always ended up here. She always kind, sorta sassy but kind. Even when she first met the assassin, found him snooping around her fathers office. She was an angel he didn’t know was real, a gift given to him for who knows what reason but he was never letting it go, specially after the first time he taste it, like a forbidden fruit.

He always had to leave, anytime they had nights like the last he had to leave early. He wasn’t really sure what their relationship was, but after last night he wasn’t sure if he should leave or not. It was different, so much different. It awoken an almost primal sense, a need, a need to protect her. Better then any of the Templar outside could, that was proven after how easy he got in last night, even with the upped security.

He moved quickly, finding his way into her art room with ease. Slipping threw the cracked window he found her painting. She always created such beautiful scenery and buildings, but never anything like this. It was him, beautiful crafted in acrylic and oils, and without him even being here for example.

“You know if you keep using that window someone will notice...” her voice was quiet, almost to quiet.

“Why is there so many men outside?” He asked speaking about the Templar’s stationed on the roof and surrounding area.

“My father has left town...” she said letting down the brush and paints before turning to him. Her eyes were red and glossy, dull but they sparkled once they met his. “We wouldn’t say why but... Jacob...” she shook her head looking down before finding the carriage to continue. “There is a man hunt for you...”

His eyes were shocked, shifted. His heart raced, he was always so careful, he never left marks or anything behind he made sure of it, so how did he knows. He went to speak, to ask but she cut him off as tears fell from her eyes again.

“It’s my fault...” she whimpered out and he stepped forward wiping her tears instantly. He shook his head disagreeing with her but she nodded.

“I... I drew a picture of you and he found it... he knows and I- I can’t stop it... I can’t... Jacob.” She sobbed falling into his chest as he held her tightly to him. He’d never seen her cry, never seen her so hurt in his life, and over him. It broke his heart to see her like this. He’d been with many women and he’d seen many cry but he’d never been as affected by them as he was by (y/n).

“It’s not your fault...” he said rubbing her back, trying to think of the words to say.

“It is!” She looked up at him. “I shouldn’t have let you in!”

“What...” there it was, that shatter of his heart. The glass breaking from a small impact. She moved away from him running her fingers threw her hair.

“I let you in...you had to work to get into my fathers office that day, but the days after I left the windows unlocked and you kept coming back. I let you into my home, to my studio, to my bed...” she let out another sob before finishing. “To my heart...”

Suddenly it was like he was alive again, his heart placed into her hands instantly as he reached for her pulling her into a kiss, a kiss like no other. Sweet and passionate, salty from her tears. Her hands wrapped around his neck instantly as he picked her up with ease, it was almost a routine at this point. Kicking open the side door that led to her bedroom he laid her on the bed gently.

“If I’m going to be hunted for making a women love me, I’m going to love her back” he said, his voice dripping with lust. Her eyes locked with his as her hands moved taking off his hat and setting it aside.

“You don’t mean that...” she said looking at him, his messy hair everywhere already. His right hand came down to his blade pulling it from its holder and moving it to her corset, this was a normal thing. He hated corsets.

“Oh I do.” He said cutting the strings of the thick material and letting it fall open onto the bed as she looked at him, sitting up.

“You don’t love me Jacob...” she said watching him move around. Completely ignoring the serious statements she’s trying to make as he got undressed from his clothes.

“Is that really what you think?” He said laying his weapons aside before turning back to her, only in his under shirt now, along with his pants. “You know I should really start dressing down before I come here, because this outfit is a pain...”

“Jacob, this is serious!” She stood, her dress not holding much shape because of the missions corset. “And it’s not what I think it’s what I know!” He scoffed and looked at her.

“It’s what you know?”

“Yes!”

“How do you know I don’t love you? How do you know I don’t get up every morning thinking about you? How do you know I’m not out there! Risking my life everyday so I can come back to you!” She was taken back by his words but she was quick to answer, a fire burning in her as she did.

“Because if you thought about me every morning you would have stayed! Because if you loved me you wouldn’t be out sleeping with every girl in the streets!”

“Because I can’t love you!....” he yelled back. It was a true statement, he couldn’t love her, not with who they were, it was dangerous. But his voice still broke with his next words.. “But I do...” he moved closer to her looking down at her. “And I beg you to me show you...”

She looked at him her eyes searching his as if a lie is going to jump out at her and show itself, but she found nothing but admiration in his hazel eyes. Nothing but love.

“Then show me...” she whispered out looking at him. That’s all he needed to hear, before his lips met hers again, his hands sliding the blue dress from her body before laying her back on the bed.

He slipped his shirt off exposing his toned body to her for the hundredth time. And just like all the other times her fingers instantly found the eagle that marked his chest. Dancing over the imprinted skin before moving to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her.

His hands roamed her body like he’d never done it before, but he knew every curve and edge, and in and out like his pistol. She was an art form in its self, no sculptor could make something as perfect as the way she looked under him. His lips moved to hers again before meeting her neck, then her collar bone. Kissing and nipping at her skin, but being sure not not leave marks. That’s when an idea came to him.

“I want you to mark me...” he groaned against her skin as he continued to move down, kissing over her ribcage, pulling small moans from her, but his words peaked her interest.

“What?” She said sitting up on her elbows looking down at him, he didn’t stop his assault on her stomach, he just kept moving closer to her soaking core. He chuckled not giving her an answer as he flattened his tongue against her clit. She throw her head back letting out a moan of overwhelming pleasure, but he still didn’t answer, instead he spread her legs apart and started eating her out like he was trying to suck her soul from her body. It was heaven, overwhelming heaven.

She fell back onto the bed completely not able to hold herself up as she gripped his hair with one hand and used the other to grasp on her breasts. ”Jacob! Please!” She moaned out and he only went faster pulling her to her edge, just as she was about to let go she tugged on his hair, causing him to groan, sending vibrations threw her, tipping her over the edge and into a blinding orgasm. Her hips bucked and he moved away using his fingers to help her threw it as he watched her fall from her high. She was stunning, but he wasn’t done.

“I want you to mark me, bite me, scratch me, do whatever you want to me.” He started finally answering the question as he leaned down kissing her. “Just make sure everyone else knows I’m yours, doll...”

her eyes searched his and she gripped his shoulders flipping them over with more strength then he knew she had. Straddling his hips and quickly removed the rest of his clothes before leaning down and kissing him again, her chest pressed against his.

“Gladly.” She moved her hips sliding down onto him easily, both of them moaning out the others name as his hand met her ass holding her down on him. Her lips met his neck, sucking and biting marks into the skin as she started to move, rolling her hips against him, feeling the pressure of him inside her already sensitive core.

She sat up, placing her hands on his chest as she rode him, slowly, teasingly. Her nails dig into his chest breaking the skin in small spots as she moaned out his name, he smirked knowing only he can do this to her.

“Jacob- fuck!” She moaned out before kissing him again to silence herself, she teased to much for his liking. He gripped her hips tightly and without parting from her he flipped her back on to her back and began thrusting upwards into her. Hitting her g-spot instantly, always knowing where it was.

Her back arched as she moaned out for her, so needy and desperate. He chuckled and gripped her hips as he thrust into her at the pace he knows she loved, driving her over the edge for the second time tonight. The way she closed around him as she did sent him over the edge to, just in time for him to pull out and cum on her stomach. The words that left his mouth as he did it was even more shocking then how fast he came.

“I love you”

That’s how he ended up here, with his arm wrapped around her loosely, late into the morning, much later then normal. He couldn’t leave her after last night. He wanted to worship his time with her before something really happened and he couldn’t see her anymore. Before she was just a memory. She began to stir and it worried him, maybe he should’ve left, maybe-

“Jacob, love...” she said tiredly as her eyes remained closed. He didn’t know if he should answer her, but she clearly know he was here, his arm was wrapped around her.

“Yes love...” he said his voice thick with tiredness. Romantically deep and dreamy.

“If you’re going to stay, cuddle me better” she said and his grilled around her tighten, pulling her flush against his body, his face hiding in the crook of her neck, kissing her shoulder softly.

“As you wish.”

Taglist: @marshmallow--3

[angrylizardjacket]

the band with no name {Douglas Booth} 2

A/N: 1654 words. A bit shorter, but we’re getting into things now. idk how i feel about it, please give me feedback.

[PART 1]

Flop of The Month, your band, has an instagram account with exactly two posts on it, and Douglas feels like both and idiot, and a creepy stalker, for the amount of time he spends flicking through the two photos without actually liking them, for fear of you realising who he was.

Colson, however, seemed to have no such reservations.

“Look, I’m on their story,” Colson’s grinning from ear to ear as the cast and crew break for lunch the Monday after they’d seen your band play, showing Douglas his phone, and your band’s instagram story. It showed their notifications, highlighting how Colson had liked both photos and followed them, and had the caption ‘how’d the rap devil find us?’ and ‘not complaining tho’. 

“Bloody hell,” is all Douglas can bring himself to say, wearing a half-smile as they made their way to the costume department to get changed before lunch. It had been a low effort day, just jeans and t-shirts, but it was always safer to not eat in costume. Hair and makeup could stay and be touched up however.

Your band’s page had begun the day with 217 followers, and ended it with over a thousand. There wasn’t a link to your personal page, and so all he can do is scroll through your Facebook while waiting for Colson to be ready to go.

Y/N: weird question Y/N: also, hi Y/N: but yeh, weird question Y/N: was your friend last night mgk?

Douglas takes a moment to compose his thoughts before typing out his response.

Douglas: hi back Douglas: and yes.

There’s a few minutes of silence, and Douglas can feel his scalp itching beneath his wig, just a little, but he tries to ignore it.

Y/N: cool. Y/N: well it was nice meeting you guys!! Y/N: looking forward to seeing if ur band is real btw Douglas: probably wont be for a while Y/N: im happy to wait Y/N: if u want me there that is Douglas: if we ever actually play a gig, you’ll be the first to know

You send a blushing smiling emoji back, and Douglas finds himself strangely pleased.

“Is that her?” Colson asks, eyes shining as he pulled on his leather jacket; with his wig and makeup, he still absolutely looked the part. Douglas quickly slipped his phone in his pocket, knowing that a faint blush dusted his cheeks despite his best efforts. As he waffled his way through an affirmation, Colson’s smile just grew wider.

“I still don’t understand why you were being so vague; she probably would have jumped you there and then if she knew you were part of the Motley Crue movie, man.”

“Yeah,” Douglas said, his discomfort mounting at the insinuation, “that’s the problem, dude; first of all, I don’t know if she like the band themselves, or just the music, and if she does like the band,” he paused, shrugging a little, quietly embarrassed, “what if she likes them better than me?”

“They’re all married,” Colson says, like it immediately solves everything.

“Man, you know that’s not the issue,” Douglas sighed, but it’s clear he wasn’t done, and Colson just waited, eyebrows raised, “you know, girls who are like... like... how did you say it the other week? When that girl from Instagram was in your DMs every other minute?”

“Clout chasing,” Colson nodded sagely, suddenly understanding all too clearly his co-star’s apparent fears, “well she doesn’t know who you are yet.”

“Exactly,” Douglas exclaimed, glad the craft services tent was finally in view, feeling himself grow hungrier by the moment, “and I think I wanna keep it that way, just for now.”

“Better pray she doesn’t watch Jupiter Ascending,” Colson snorts, just as Douglas punches him in the arm. 

The next day, he messages you first, sends a photo of himself and the rest of the band out of costume, but holding their instruments, all wearing heels to help make it easier to wear them around set. 

Douglas: the band says hi Y/N: shit, you guys have instruments and everything Y/N: getting less sketchy by the minute

You follow it up with a winking emoji, and a photo of yourself, out in the sunshine, dressed impeccably, makeup dark and sharp, holding a stack of posters beside your head, advertising your band’s next gig; this Saturday.

Douglas: are you inviting me? Y/N: only if you’re saying yes

Your confident coyness amuses him, despite the way the shoes are pinching his toes, and he tells you he’ll be there.

The next day, you send a link to a band name generator, but more interestingly, you send it right around the time he’s getting his makeup done, early in the morning.

Douglas: early start? Y/N: my shop won’t open itself Douglas: your shop? Y/N: mini mall tattoo parlor hahaha

“She owns a tattoo parlor?” Daniel asks, reading over Douglas’s shoulder between takes, “you’d better make your move or Colson’s gonna go for her.” 

“Go for who?” Colson himself calls across set where his makeup’s being touched up.

“You weren’t meant to hear that!” Daniel shouts back, though he’s grinning, and adds, “Y/N. She owns a tattoo parlor.”

“Really, shit man, Doug she’s cool as hell,” Colson muses, before snorting, addressing Daniel, “gimme some credit, I’m letting the man shoot his shot; he’s my bro, not my competition.”

“Thanks man,” with the slightest smile, Douglas puts his phone away as the scene is reset around them, and Colson joins him in the middle of the living room set.

“I expect free tattoos, however,” he says with a faux seriousness, “because if you like her, like really like her, I’m gonna wingman the shit out of you.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, man,” he claps Douglas on the shoulder with a surprisingly sincere expression.

It’s Colson who suggests, the following day, sending a video of Douglas playing the bass, asking if you had any pointers. They’re at band rehearsals again, blasting through their repertoire, when they get to Take Me To The Top, and as the song dies down, Colson makes the suggestion.

“Why are you filming it?” Iwan asks, and Colson’s smile is all teeth where he’s holding Douglas’s phone, answering before Douglas has the opportunity.

“Tryna help impress that punk chick from the band last weekend.”

“You’re actually talking to her?” Iwan asks with a bright, almost incredulous smile, “after everything that happened? She must really like you.” He muses, and Douglas feels his soul leaving this mortal plane.

“Smart move; asking for advice from her, lets her know you think she’s talented, and, well, you know,” Daniel shrugs, wiggling his fingers with a casual air. Douglas frowns, but Colson’s nodding.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he agrees, and finally Douglas clues in. Dexterous fingers.

“Don’t be gross, guys,” he sighs, already regretting letting Colson help at all, “just take the damn video.”

It only takes thirty seconds for you to respond in All Caps.

Y/N: ARE YOU IN A MOTLEY CRUE COVER BAND

“I’m fucked,” Douglas mutters under his breath, staring wide-eyed at the message.

Y/N: you play so well dude just relax your stance and shoulders Y/N: fkn love take me to the top Y/N: seriously a motley cover band??? Y/N: you just instantly got 100x cooler

“Okay, maybe I’m not fucked,” he concedes after a moment, quietly breathing a sigh of relief.

Y/N: now i have to see u guys play!! Y/N: if that’s alright of course

“Nah, you’re definitely a little bit fucked,” Daniel offers over his shoulder, and Douglas pushes his face away.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Douglas grumbles, and Daniel shrugs bemusedly. 

“At least she thinks you play well,” but Douglas isn’t listening to him, he’s frantically tapping away on his phones, scowling, “what ‘re you doing?”

“Trying to come up with a name for our band -”

“Our fake band?” Iwan asks, arms crossed over his chest wearing an amused little smile, “do we have to play along with this too?”

“Not if you don’t want, just don’t... don’t tell her it’s fake is all.” Douglas offers, and the rest of the band nods.

“So how long are you going to play along with this bit?” Daniel ask, and Douglas heaves a sigh.

“Not sure; until I can trust that she’s not just in it to meet the actual band -”

“Which she doesn’t know you know,” Iwan interjected again, and Douglas nodded a little. After a beat, the rest of the band looked to each other, and seemed to share some sort of silent communication, before turning back to him.

“Okay,” Colson agrees easily, “if you’re serious about this chick you’ve known for five days,” he emphasizes, though Douglas doesn’t seem phased, “if we ever run into her, we’ll pretend we’re in a Motley Crue cover band.” He agrees, while Iwan and Daniel silently agree, though they look rather amused at the whole situation.

“There’s just something about her,” Douglas muses quietly.

“It’s the fact that she’s the coolest chick you’ve ever met,” Colson tells him with far too much authority, “and your little posh, school-boy brain wants to try something new.”

“Hey -” Douglas scoffed, though he was quickly talked over.

“She looks like she’d punch me in the face but I’d be okay with it,” Iwan adds, which, strangely enough, the rest of them agree to with various mischievous smiles. Douglas doesn’t exactly deny that he feels the same way.

“What’s our band name gonna be?” Daniel asks finally.

“The Fourskins,” Colson answers back immediately, grinning wide and proud of himself.

“Absolutely no-”

“That’s kind of genius,” Daniel snorts over Douglas’ protest, and so, on a three-to-one vote, their fake Motley Crue cover band is named The Fourskins, and Douglas kind of thinks he’d rather come clean there and then to you, rather than suffer through ever typing or saying that name to you. But he doesn’t. 

He really hopes you’re worth it.

[yoitscro]

First thought: Homestuck^2 should've just been called Beyond Canon, and more people should call it that. 

The 2 was put on for chuckles; HS trending the day it was announced with it being a sequel spoke enough about how such a thing shant be underestimated, and why Homestuck is ABSOLUTELY more than just our small twitter crowd (and the scrap of us still on tumblr). I say that because remembering the Beyond Canon part slightly reassures me about the fact that this is a fanwork that will do some weird shit, and things I don't agree with, but isn't something that I have to subscribe to enjoying all the way with how I engage with Homestuck.

Homestuck 2 is not the canon continuation. Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, is an OFFICIAL continuation.

Not having it on such an important stool and as the only content we all are only allowed to digest should come from both people who obsessively dislike it, and people who defensively support it. If a character says they kick babies then I can say, hey that's weird, maybe not great writing, but I can pretend they don't in my content, and i dont have to send threats or call people cishet white men for it! and, it's an absolutely great thing that we were all encouraged to create our own ideas without anyone who's influenced us to do so squinting their eyes when we actually go through with it. Glad I don't have to put this story up to the expectations of being a sequel to a 11 year, worldwide IP that's shooketh the internet landscape since it's merely optional, Death of the Author persists, and ideas aren't just dominated and revolved around the perspective of a 1% in this entire fanbase.

That said.

As an OFFICIAL continuation versus a canon one, HS2 is ok. It certainly has that fanfiction vibe, and a story it wants to tell. I can't really tell what that story is since we have like, 10 sub plots rn though. There's not a real a clear indicator on where the focus of main conflict is that connects all these stories together.

I thought that the prose in replacement of Vriska's battle was jarring, but not teeerribly surprising for the format HS2 is going for. It's more so using drawings to compliment text versus Homestuck's usual of panels being side by side with visual importance, or even itself being the one compliment. It sorta feels weird tho that it brought old fans back in with art just for them to get sneered at when they get a bit upset that there won't be main staples of art known to progress the story forward. 

Also people who mock people for “having to read homestuck” knowing there’s language barriers and struggling focus from those who’ve been use to something that was never so dense, are ridiculous.

Personally this could be solved by knowing how old flashes worked, having way more artists on the team, maybe even an art director if not already, and noting that we're not asking for the next Cascade. Rome wasn't built in a day, but Rose Ride sure was, and Homestuck’s animation is absolutely not the same as a 12-24 framed 12 minute cartoon. That, or just snuff the illustrative art as a whole since it's very clear on where the focus is.

I’m sure you’re not here trying to see my opinions on how the outer workings are though, versus plot.

Uuuuh, let's see. Yiffy's still a name I don't care to use until I eventually get tired of any of my art that do not show up in tags. This is fine and not as offensive as people are saying it is. Minors who want to cosplay this character don't have to call themselves this character. Not wanting to be one letter away from accidentally entering a very NSFW space of twitter is fine. Also the lot of people call Tavros, Tavvy.

I hope Kanaya's anger at being cucked is actually seen versus being implied through fan guesses and another character having to say she was.

Roxy needs to be more of an involved character. Where are they during all this?

Jane should have a mention of her relations to HIC being a main/bad influence on her current parallels to Alternian dictatorship.

The PRE-RETCON GROUP should have a fun one-shot update for fans who like them, since they oughta be around if they fell through the ghost hole. Most of them. The sprites that aren't Jasprosesprite should also show up too, since they're around.

Aaaaaand I think we should be extra careful going into the future when it comes to the alien rebellion. It's weird that a lot of the writers are white and toy around with concepts that can be a not so great parallel to racism. Currently not great timing rn! If the characters are going to remain aracial, but with them still doing not much to reference other non-white earth cultures or getting new hair cuts that have different textures (looking at you, Rose), we shant make the species with actual biological benefits a racism commentary. the xeno joke at least had a play on words. If any writer has happened upon this then a, please don't get mad at me again haha, and b, consider having more black writers or directional assistance on your squad. You know who they are.

In the future. I casually want the ghost from the Dream Bubbles to be shown since it's a big elephant in the room to not have a single one of them in the bg despite a load of them appearing from the ghost whole. Don't gotta give them speaking lines, especially the dancestors. I personally don't know if I want that right now.

I also hope in the future that we don't get HS content that is only going to revolve around HS2, if it's optional enough to engage with without being the only option. That's why PQ could ended a bit better for me, and why I hope it's not the main thing that's keeping Hiveswap on the backburner. I don't think it's farfetched to consider that multiple HS content could come from more than just one team; to relieve work load, but to also strengthen the idea that Homestuck can be a various amount of perspectives when it comes to the ideas fans have. The most dedicated fans leading the direction of the story is not just a handful of them. If anything, at least acknowledge the massive ass fan projects going on once in awhile to showcase the different avenues.

"Hey Cro, you sure have bitched about this alot. Do you have anything good to say? Why don't you stop reading if you hate it so much!"

Not every comment needs to be golden, love. Again, some of these decisions I eck at, but ultimately they're just words on a computer that I'm not holding anyone at gun point to do, and I'm curious to see how the story handles itself going forward, since again, it's just a fanwork. Sometimes I wish to not only see where the plot goes, but to see a writer's craft in action.

Good Things:

The Art. Again, please have more artists. It'd help so much, especially since the main one is also double timing for VE. That said, HS2 sticks out to me because of the way the color composition is used. Aside from hair and other tiny things, I haven't seen black used a lot, which makes colors pop. It's really nice to look at. I hope we get more sharper styles of character in the future, since it builds on nostalgia and makes the trolls feel much less like they're from Repiton, but I can deal with it for the most part. I also like that one panel where the omega kids and vriska are talking in the dark room, and based on where they're standing, the text aligns. Tasty as hell.

Meat and Candy still do hold neat logic in the direction the stories go. Candy, while it could be more tasteless in some areas, is chaotic and too much of a good thing. Meat is having something a little more straightforward, though I'm not sure quite yet where it's going. I always found Candy to be the part of the epilogue that actually entertained me the most, from how much of a surreal Robot Chicken skit at 3am it felt. Sometimes the jokes slapped real nice and made me wonder, going in, how is this monkeys paw gonna play out and, hopefully, make people laugh or smirk like they got a good roast at themself?

The slightly episodic feel of each update is what I wanted from the Epilogues, so it's interesting to see that play out when it comes to switching different perspectives.

The bonus updates get points for featuring characters that a lot of us have been wanting to see for ages.

Hopefully this isn't unpopular, but I think the tension of Yiffy's introduction was nicely composed and written (ignoring some of the things I wish for Jane). It leaves you with enough want to see what'll happen next time. You could also say that despite her growling and making a lot of noise, it's not actually bad writing: I see it as the audience being forced to see her in the same perspective that Jane see's her; a dog. Upon no context we're seeing the same thing while knowing things are obviously off, and once we see this character in a new environment where their personality shines, it'll have a bigger impact her own character being humanized. So I like that.

Okay, I think that's all I got. I improv wrote most of this; hopefully I won't be taken out of context since I don’t think that HS2′s writing should ultimately be a judgement of the writers as people, nor treated as if they should hold the same unhealthy work environment that Andrew forced himself to do when writing the og comic. And I'm still like, donating to the patreon and everything, lol.

[runs away]

edit: i was going to put the cw as another positive thing for the comic...but...yeaaaah.

[flyingcatstiel]

1of2 Tired of metas blaming executives / defending writers. Writers can write horrible endings. Proof - GOT, HIMYM, Lost etc. Executives didn't force those bad endings. Reading all these conspiracy theories feels like I am listening to Trump. Executives are homophobic but ok with incestous ending? I asked my SO (who never watched SPN) to watch SPN final with me. I quote him "didn't you say they are brothers. It almost looks like they are going to kiss - Ewww - is this what you want me to watch?"

2of2 Even if we look at bottom line - Executives - apparently don't care the fact that Destiel was trending FIRST world wide - in middle of pandemic, middle of historic US elections - such free publicity to gain more viewers and money - but they care about incestous endings which grossed out lot of people. I wish these metas and conspiracy theorists stop baiting people and stop defending writers. Even before covid - Dabb had intended for this bad ending with proof that only 30% will like it.

Oh, nonnie. If you have sent this just 2 days ago, I’d be there with you, all salty about metas defending writers. Today tho, after going through some serious posts about the CW involvement with the show, about Russian market, about professional dubbing practices I have my thoughts in different order. 

So, from what I’ve seen so far (barely past midnight November 26 in the US as of writing this). Jensen went to re record audio stuff for 15x18, most likely Cas confession scene. Now we have info from Latin America (2 separate dubs)  that Dean actually reciprocated Cas’s love declaration and only after that The Empty took Cas. Nonnie, this changes everything. The first thing so many viewers noticed and commented on was the weird way the scene was cut and how little emotions Dean showed. The running gag on twitter was that Jensen is homophobic and Misha strong-armed him into that scene. Non shipper said that it was platonic love declaration from Cas, coming out of nowhere. But most importantly, we, shippers were robbed from proper celebration of our ship going canon. After 12 years of sticking with the ship, they still took it from us. This is totally on the CW shoulders.

But also, this means that destiel was at some point greenlit by the executives to be reciprocated in canon. Until someone at the CW backpaddled in late September. The writers are not responsible for this, they are victims of these changes as well. Dean’s answer changes the emotional beats of several scenes in 15x19 in addition to the scenes that were cut. 15x19 has that strange montage at the very end which most likely was added to cover cut scenes, say like Lucifer, Jack and Cas scene in the empty? Because if Misha was in 15x19, that would mean that the prank call was never meant to be his last contribution. I mean, the disrespect to the fans, the writers and Misha, all in one episode.

And then there’s 15x20 which looks so weird that a lot of fans immediately said that it is a butchered episode. Thing is, we have no idea what kind of script was written pre covid, how much it was changed and when, and how much was cut out from filmed episode. I’ve seen posts sayin that the script for 15x20 was still in rewrites when they finished filming for 15x18. Which is very, very late for a shooting script. I personally think that Dean’s death was the thing Jensen disliked so much, but even then - we don’t know how it was framed in earlier scripts and how they arrived at that horrific scene in 15x20. 

I’m not saying that SPN writers are the most amazing TV writers out there, and I look forward times when we will be able to discuss all problematic stuff SPN is filled to the brim with, but. We just don’t know what exactly happened in the SPN writing room and how much executives meddled with it. COVID happened. Nothing of this is normal. This is why the most important thing right now is to pressure the CW for some answers. Look at them throwing Misha under the bus today. That tells you bunches how well they know fandom and how to manipulate us. 

Now about that incestuous scene, aka Dean’s death, and why homophobic executives would be OK with it but not canon destiel. Under the cut we go, mostly for space reasons. 

Ok, this is so funny but I actually just finished writing my second answer about wincest in 15x20 and had problems posting it and that’s how I learned that we broke tumblr and destiel went canon in spanish. Here’s my post, check it out bc I’m not repeating it  here. 

I think wincest, aka incest between two able bodied, adult male brothers is something casual viewer outside the fandom is not even thinking about. If it was sister/brother deal with intimate embrace, people would notice faster. But two masculine, 6 ft tall macho dudes during the death scene? Nope. Here comes plausible deniability which viewers also use to ignore anything “funny” between Dean and Cas. I’m glad that you and your partner noticed incest vibes, but, I’ve see plenty people even in destiel fandom being fine with such scenes between Sam and Dean. I’ve seen some destiel fans saying that they really loved 15x20, so, there are viewers out there for whom it worked. 

Now let’s look at the bottom line. TBH, I’ve no idea where to look? Where is the projected revenues for a show that is ending? You say that Destiel trending during pandemic is a proof that our fandom is huge, but. No one knew that we had such power! And trending on twitter is not something that translates into money easily. And it happened 2 weeks before finale. There’s no time to change finale anymore. I personally think that destiel fandom has been shrinking for past couple of years, since so many folks left due to bad writing and queerbaiting. But they came back for tweeting. At this point destiel is bigger than it’s fandom. I personally think that the CW would have benefited from canon destiel, but they made different call.

I agree with you that in general, fandom should not defend the writers so much and ought to be more critical about the stuff they write, but today, November 26, 2020, the game is happening on completely different plane. I’m pretty sure that we got a butchered finale, and I’m very much inclined to believe that it is somehow connected to their efforts to promote The Walker show. Maybe Dabb’s original finale was really bad, but show me the script then. If destiel was supposed to be reciprocated, then they might have gone overboard with bro love in Dean’s death scene. Only now, when destiel was one-sided, that scene becomes very wincesty seemingly on purpose. A good creative writing, in it’s finished form, is a very tightly woven fabric. You pull out some threads, you unravel whole fabric. And that’s what 15x20 is. 

2 days ago I’d be roasting metas who defend spn writers, today I want to storm the CW. (pitchforks anyone?) Destiel shippers were robbed, queer love story was censored, this should be the focus of or anger today, not the writers or actors. We can do both - demand truth about the Cas confession scene and roast original Dabb’s ending if we ever get it. 

ETA - after writing this up, I checked out some posts by blogs who debunk all conspiracies, including Spanish dub. They sound very convincing! But in that case we have to talk about long term queerbaiting that was taking place on this old CW show till the very last minute. Cas was used in promos for 15x17 he was not in. They (ppl who make promos) deliberately used Cas barn scene from 4x01 in those promos, then actual barn in 15x20 promo but somehow it is shippers who are delusional? Don’t start me on Song of the day. Angel with a shotgun for 15x19? What was that about? After 15x18 there was no official goodbye to Cas which made ppl to watch finale. Like? Even if the Spanish dub gets officially debunked by the CW and not some random blogs, we are left with the fact that destiel fandom was gaslighted during the last stretch of s15. And not only by writers.

And if this was the finale they so lovingly crafted and deemed to be good, where are the celebration of the SPN ending? Why we had to watch documentary before the episode? Why 15x20 was so short? Why Canada watched the episode first (and leaked spoilers online) They filmed after quarantine, the script had to be the usual length. And so on, fandom has been through all the things that didn’t match several times already. PITCHFORKS -> the CW

[kittybellestark]

Okay I think Time Can Heal All, But Maybe Not This has been out long enough that I can actually talk about it

If you haven’t read TCHABMNT yet there’s gonna be some spoilers but you can find it here

EDIT: I forgot to talk about May bc I did this at night when I was really tired and my brain just wanted to talk about Peter ig, that is my absolute bad so I added that in everything else is the same tho

So obvs y’all know I had troubles with getting it published here and there’s still been some struggles but I wanna actually talk about the story.

So I started writing it a few months ago but only got 7 paragraphs in before not knowing where to bring the story. Originally the line “And Peter is terrified” was supposed to end that paragraph.

After that the fic was going to be all fluff and Harley and Tony trying to reassure Peter that his insecurities aren’t going to come to fruition.

But then I had a bad day. And the story had been sitting in my drafts forever. So I figured out how to continue the story.

Make Peter feel alone.

I had to keep the snap canon because otherwise there’s be no other plausible way for all of Peter’s family to just ditch him and for Flash and Peter to become friends.

I had to make it so that everyone in Peter’s life moved on without him.

So May moved to Italy and has a boyfriend who Peter assumes will be her husband by the time he’s 20, she has her dream job and is doing what she loves.

She moved out to Italy to forget Peter. It was for selfish reasons, she lost everything in her life, her husband, his family (Peter’s parents), her parents had died years prior and now Peter is also dead. She’s left alone and she doesn’t know what to do. So May moves to Italy to forget Peter and forget the pain and grief she feels. She doesn’t want to remember him.

By trying to forget she finds a new life. She’s a version of who Peter could have become. May is alone with no one, left behind in a world that lost everything. She has a new family and she can’t give it all up to move half way across the world. May would be uprooting her whole family. She moved on from Peter. Tried her hardest to forget him.

May wants to have a relationship with Peter, she just mentally cannot handle having him back in her life because then that opens up the possibility of Ben being back in her life, or her parents, or Peter’s parents even. By acknowledging that Peter is back for more than a phone call or a FaceTime it’ll send her spiraling. May has crafted this reality for herself and it is safe and she cannot give it up.

She loves Peter, of course she does, but having him back will only hurt her more.

I still think it’s canon, in this story,  that Tony reversed what Thanos did for Peter. And I couldn’t just kill Tony off either because that wouldn’t really be as painful as Peter just not having contact with him after everything.

It’s not because Tony just forgot Peter existed that they don’t really talk at the beginning. Obviously the affect of snapping left Tony seriously injuries and I referenced that in the story, “…Tony needed a lot more attention after the snap due to his injuries…” so Peter doesn’t really have the full idea of what his injuries are like, but I imagine pretty horrible, which would mean that Pepper wouldn’t be able to move him very soon.

Not to mention Morgan, who is born post snap and now the world had doubled in population and suddenly her father is so badly injuries he can’t be moved. That’s traumatizing on a child of her age, and then try and move her into the city?? That’s going to cause lasting affects on her mental health so of course the Starks are going to do what they can for Peter, but they have some really big things they need to deal with too.

But the Starks did move back into the city for him, it’s just a little late, because Peter is now going away for school. It’s not that they didn’t put an effort in to be with him, it’s just that they were spread thin between the Tony’s recovery, having Morgan cope, the company, what’s left of the avengers, trying and get themselves back to the city and being in the midst of what is probably an economic crisis.

When Peter turns 22 there’s a line “Just some empty seats and empty promises,” which isn’t much to go on, but a little bit later when Peter is thirty I wrote that Tony also has an 8 year old son. So Tony and Pepper were supposed to go to Peter’s MIT graduation, but she went into labour and they couldn’t go. It’s such a small little thing that’d be easily missed, but I wanted to sprinkle in that Tony and Pepper were trying to make an effort with Peter at least. But then they have another kid and being parents is hard enough, but now two kids? That’s hard, they’re going to forgot to prioritize Peter, especially when he hasn’t been a priority yet.

I felt it was important to give Peter someone though. Which is why Peter and Flash are friends through the story. It’s unlikely, and it wouldn’t have happened had they not been left behind. In the beginning I had wanted to have Flash and Peter get together romantically at some point, but that felt like a cop out, and too predictable. Which is why Flash ended up with Peter’s P.A, Gwen (yes Gwen Stacy). Having Flash move on with his life could either give Peter the idea that he could have what Flash has, because they’ve been in the same boat forever, or it could lead him to think that he’s incapable of having a life like that.

I had originally written that Peter tells Flash about Spider-Man, about how he can’t put on his suit without getting really bad flashbacks and panic attacks about what happened. But I didn’t want to turn this story to be about Spider-Man, because it’s not. This isn’t about Spider-Man’s struggles to get the suit back on and save people, this is about Peter’s struggles with mental health and his addiction. In my head Peter told Flash when they were still in high school, sitting on the bleachers in the evening, drinking a bottle of whiskey that Flash stole from his Dad’s liquor cabinet, which would also be the beginning to Peter’s alcoholism. But I ultimately didn’t feel like it was necessary to add to the story. It is something I’m willing to write out in the future though.

It felt really important for me to make everything in the story connect with each other. Peter goes to school at MIT, which is in Boston, where Ned lived when he was an adult (and we know that’s also where Tony went to school), and Peter is in California when he meets Harley again, where MJ went to school (Tony also previously lived in Cali). Everything needed to be connected to the life Peter lost. Which is also why there are so many similarities in Peter’s life now and Tony’s life before he settled down.

Tony went to MIT, well now so does Peter. Tony is an alcoholic with preference for whiskey? Yeah, Peter too. Tony is pretty much alone except for Rhodey? Peter is also alone, but he has Flash. Tony had suicidal and self-destructive tendencies? Peter has only tried killing himself multiple times. By making Peter into a version of Tony, it brings a reference to SM:HC, where Peter says after the ferry boat accident, “I just wanted to be like you” and Tony responds “And I wanted you to be better.” Peter is Tony, he’s just found fame and fortune at a different time, runs his own company and makes ground-breaking research that will help the world.

It’s why Peter is so hurt when he’s called (look a SM:FFH reference) “The Next Tony Stark.” He already is Tony Stark, except he doesn’t have the happiness or the family Tony currently has. Peter just has Flash and his assistant Gwen (just like young Tony only had Rhodey and Pepper). Peter being a version of Tony Stark, he can’t really see an escape. He is so horribly hurt and the only way he can see there being peace in his life is if he isn’t alive. Which is why he continues to try and kill himself.

I didn’t want Peter to die though, I wanted him to find something that would make life tolerable. Which is why I reintroduced Harley. Peter tries to ignore Harley, pretend he doesn’t recognize him, because Peter doesn’t want to remember his past and who he was and what he lost anymore. Harley being there is such a big reminder of who he used to be and who he wants to be, that Peter wants Harley to go away. He doesn’t acknowledge that he knows Harley, even when Harley all but says ‘I’m Harley Keener’ to Peter. At this point in the story Peter made up his mind that he is going to die. There was no other option, but then this beacon of hope shows up and Peter doesn’t want it anymore.

I think by reintroducing Harley it was important to never say that Peter and Harley end up together or that they’re still in contact. I left that pretty open ended because Harley just swooped in at the last second and stopped Peter from killing himself. Peter’s recovery is clearly not an easy one because that was when Peter is 30 and it’s only when Peter turns 32 that he’s one month sober. It was important that you don’t know who is Peter’s family. Because maybe it’s not the Starks or MJ and Ned or Harley or May. Maybe Peter moved on from his past they way they all had and has finally made peace with life, or maybe Peter’s past is now in his life again and he’s happy because he has what he always missed.

Everything in this story was so deliberate and there’s so much that I did that’s just these small little things and I love it so much. I think it was important to see Peter struggle with life and death and his mental illnesses.

So yeah, I’m completely in love with this story and if you guys have any questions about it please send me some asks and I’ll totally answer them, I’m just not over this story yet and I really want to talk about it some more !!

[wildgeese2017]

You: what makes you happy?

Stranger: His smile

You: thats so nie

You: nice

Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while

You: :(

Stranger: What makes you happy?

You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself

You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts

You: like his smile

You: i dont know how to make sense of it all

Stranger: I feel you

Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts

You: it scares me

Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time

Stranger: You always think you will have more

Stranger: Until you don’t

You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me

You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud

You: like i dont know what gods means to me

You: what does it mean to you?

Stranger: I try to trust in him

Stranger: But the faith is being tested

Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god

You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false

You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness

You: do you have anything you wanted to say

You: like why you are on this platform

Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on

Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum

You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused

Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it

You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified

Stranger: For everyone

You: yeh i think so too

You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you

Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal

You: im 20

Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄

You: thx

Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s

Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out

You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho

You: i think being confused is the whole point

Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose

Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts

Stranger: Love*

You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth

You: yes i think so too

You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss

Stranger: You should write a book about it

Stranger: Or poems

You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited

You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft

Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)

You: how do u express urself?

You: :)

Stranger: I dance

You: <3

Stranger: I’m a dancer

You: thats so wonderful

Stranger: Not good with words

You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off

Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside

You: that sounds nice

You: what kind of music do u like?

Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart

You: :(

Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after

You: in a good or bad way?

Stranger: Glues*

You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people

Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again

You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable

Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks

Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces

You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other

Stranger: Same

You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love

Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back

You: are you in love with him?

Stranger: I am

You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?

Stranger: I’ve been in love once before

Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone

Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy

Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew

You: that must hav been terrifying

Stranger: Took me 5years tho

Stranger: To fall like this again

Stranger: It was

Stranger: In it’s ironic way

Stranger: And it still is

You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts

Stranger: You know what?

Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!

You: huh i never thought of it that way

You: maybe it was god

Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date

Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of

Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄

Stranger: And when he did time stopped

Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling

You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?

Stranger: It’s …

Stranger: How can I say this

Stranger: He was a surprise

Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good

You: did you feel like you had met before?

Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy

You: so he suprised you

Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha

You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing

You: is he kind?

Stranger: He was

You: is he not anymore?

Stranger: Sadly no

You: :(

Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me

You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)

You: oh

Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship

You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again

Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago

Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore

You: did you know him long before ?

Stranger: Three months

Stranger: Not that long

Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him

Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity

You: that sound so difficult

Stranger: I miss him terribly:)

You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new

Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once

Stranger: Be protective of your energy

Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!

Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it

Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it

You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be

Stranger: Yea and no

Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am

Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first

Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you

You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you

Stranger: Exactly!

Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had

You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth

Stranger: Thank you

You: thank you too

You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud

You: *scary

Stranger: True

Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier

You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same

You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself

Stranger: I know exactly what you mean

Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)

Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough

Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough

You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me

You: yeh :(

You: why cant we all help each other more

Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest

You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time

You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone

Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains

Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person

Stranger: You deserve happiness

You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too

You: you too

You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me

Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately

Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz

You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?

Stranger: Expensive *

You: where do they go?

Stranger: ALWAYS !

You: what do they feel?

Stranger: That’s none of your business

Stranger: Let them find their own way

You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity

Stranger: You don’t have to guide them

You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other

You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish

Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy

Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way

Stranger: Be brave

Stranger: Can’t stress that enough

You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people

Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?

You: since they arent in my control

You: no but all my friends love it

You: its on my list loll

Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :

Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive

Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday

Stranger: Once you get a taste of love

Stranger: It’s like a drug

Stranger: Love*

You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me

You: love is so scary

You: its too much

Stranger: Me and him …

Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet

Stranger: :)

Stranger: And that calms me

You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love

You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever

You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore

Stranger: Don’t worry too much

Stranger: Just truly be yourself

You: thanks i will try too

You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy

Stranger: Damn

You: like im so happy but its never enough

You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit

Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question

You: loll

Stranger: What makes you happy

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: You know what I just realized

You: wot :0

Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways

Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else

Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior

You: thats so real

You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others

Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands

Stranger: So controversial

Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol

You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way

You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together

Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too

Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too

You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be

Stranger: You will learn to

You: i hope so

You: i think thats the point

Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself

You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson

You: but it seems like its always repeating

You: like why haven't we learned it yet

You: like we're all one soul

You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting

You: idk i know we only hav the present

You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it

You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture

Stranger: Relax 😄

Stranger: It’s not all that serious

Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way

Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!

Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally

You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again

Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it

You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust

Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself

You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.

Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol

You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£

You: <3

Stranger: That’s what I wish you too

Stranger: From the bottom of my heart

You: :-)

Stranger: Take care strangee

You: u 2 :-)

Stranger: Stranger*

[ton-e]

Lol ok so I didn't wanna do aesthetics so I wanna brainstorm possible scenes instead

Ok so the premise is, basically, Viktor, an aspiring kid looking to enter this straining affair of the boxing world. He's young and impressionable and he's got something to say. Something that old underground New York pubs and junior gyms don't provide enough eco for.

Barnes, a big shot star in the 80s, is pretty much known as the best of the best there, holding the impressive score of 34-1. (Tho I don't know if it can count as a victory since he wasn't even there for the fight, anyway) but after a near fatal shooting which happened right before his big championship match with Rollins, a bullet piercing his right shoulder which leads to the amputation of his limb, he dissapears into the shadows. The world moves on.

I like the idea of Barnes being trained by Mary who was in his exact same spot years ago but had to give up her career to have Anthony which she doesn't regret! Between her heart problems and the growing annoyance of public attention, a baby is practically a blessing and if it puts Jarvis and Howie to rest then it's a bonus. (I also kind of like the idea of her having only losing once and it was against Maria lol)

And maybe Viktor goes to her first but, while she does seem fond, like she's looking at an old memory twice, she refuses. "Kid, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I told my old pain in the ass when he stood in your spot: I can't."

"Why?"

"Because us Carbonells train to kill, not fight. Alright, what you think boxing is, - this cookie-cutter bullshit version you kids have today? The civilized conversation, the heavy editing, the contracts promising defenses, - that doesn't mean shit. Apollo Creed had a contract.

Muhammed Ali had a contract. So did Jimmy Doyle, Frankie Cambell, and Brad Connels. A sheet of paper can't protect you from the ring, and I'm not having another kid on my conscience. Besides, these guys? They have purpose. Whether it's money, or sport, or just to chase the high - they have it. You just want the glory."

"Yeah? So what?" So what if he wants to be seen? So what if he's doing all of this hoping to impress? So what if he has to prove he's worth someone's time. "If I die I die. Big deal."

For some reason, he wants to both cry and retaliate at the look of pity that crosses her face. "Go home, kid. You're gonna break your momma's heart." Are his last words to him before she closes the door.

In a Viktor fashion, he does the exact opposite.

He likes the street fighting, - the vibrations under his fists, the crack of his bones, the violent taste of crimson metal blossoming in his mouth, it's liberating. He doesn't think about anything. It's just him and his adversary, not an enemy, just someone seeing him as Viktor sees them. That rush could ruin a man.

It doesn't hurt he's making pocket money on the side, either. Certainly better than watching some snotty kids or mowing laws, in his book.

No, what kind of hurts is seeing the sharp scrutiny in Aleksei's sharp eye and the soft disappointment uncovering Ryurik's Dad Stare when they come pick him up from the station.

He and his mother are alike a lot in that aspect, - really he's pretty sure the five, Sasha and him have had an agreement to collectively throw themselves off a cliff if they disappointed Ryurik in some way. A broken arm, bruised ribs, and black eye? Pale in comparison to what Ryurik's power really holds.

I refuse to believe Aleksei doesn't freely parent other people's kids sksk Aleksei only stops scolding him when a police officer says ''He's going to spend the first part of his life in the streets, and the other in the grave. I put my life on it." Well a certain fashion teacher is gonna design the outfit for your funeral BITCH-

"You're so damn lucky Talusha was busy digging her medicure through someone's intestines right now. Do you even know how bad you look right now? Of the mountain of trouble you're into? Are you? Viktor Iosef Novak, you look at me when I'm talking to you, -"

"Relax, relax, take it down to a two, " Viktor pushes back a laugh watching Ryurik placate his husband bc it's just cute, and ignores the shush river of Russian pet names bc they're not for him to hear. It makes him feel vulnerable tho, that Ryurik feels the need to somehow hold Aleksei back. He can take the heat just fine.

He can take it and give it just as good, because every battle he's been into before has been on his own name. But this is harder because it was never a fight, to begin with.

Fighting is easy. Stopping is harder.

It doesn't stop feeling bad when Sasha bandages his wounds and his back doesn't cool town from the target five pair of eyes fixate on. Yasha's burn the hardest thought. "The fuck you looking at?" He playfully glares, the good part of his shoulder bumping against the other boy's, who tries to small but it lifts with a strain.

"An idiot."

"Are you looking for a mirror?"

"Fuck you, Vitya."

"Hard pass."

"Okay, Viktor you're not getting away that easy, " Ronin says, arms still bound tightly around Antoska's slender shoulders and Sasha's frail middle. Despite his easy going tone, Viktor uncovers the touch of concern underneath. "Why can't you just ask your mom to teach you? Or Papa? I mean, you want to be on a knuckle sandwich diet be my guest, but it's not really good for digestion from what I hear."

"It's not the same. Your father knows another kind of style."

'He doesn't want to learn from mom and uncle Ryurik because she's a girl,' Sasha signes irritably, eyes making an impressive tumble. 'My brother, the 14 year old, making sexist comment. What a never heard of fact.'

"I didn't say that!" He exclaims, flushed. Hissing when Natalia kicks him in the tender bruise he sports on his hip. "I just said, that I want to learn boxing! And that's not the same thing as what Ma does, or you guys do. Boxing is special. But if I can't learn from Barnes specifically, then there's no point!"

The red head huffs in indignation. "Okay, so, boo hoo, some washed-up Rocky Balboa doesn't want to train you. You have options, V. People give up over worse."

He doesn't feel like being home anymore, so he flees, the call outs to his name going ignored. in the street or just outside, he doesn't know. He just knows red follows him, that concrete shakes under the stomp of his heel and that the wetness on his cheeks freezes on his face. No one gets it, no one gets HIM. It hurts, that a part of him, the part that tells him he's worthless and insignificant and forgetful , really does think Barnes has better things to do than train him.

A sleek car, long, vintage, a touch too expensive for the streets he's haunting right now, stops beside him. He continues. It follows him, engines unusually quiet.

"Mr. Novak?" A deep voice, subdued, but persuasive nonethelesss coerces him into stopping. The windows roll down, revealing a man with a smile too friendly to be true and eyes too kind to be nondeceiving. "My name is Alexander Pierce. And I happen to have an irresistible offer."

"It's in the process of extension, " Pierce expresses later, as he leads Viktor through the underground fighting bar. Its practically a huge stadium in a molehill and his mind struggles to compute how Pierce pulled it off. "I'm looking for capable young talents to craft into tomorrow's brightest stars. I'm assuming you've heard of Rumlow before?"

"Crossbones? 23-2? Yeah, I heard. He's currently heavyweight champ, right?" Barnes should have been, he wants to say, but reading the room better he thinks against it. "I don't... Actually think I've seen him around much. Maybe since '98, but that's his most recent match. What's ... Up with that?"

"He's kept that belt around him for closer than two decades. Id say its time for some adjuments in the records, don't you agree?" He doesn't like it when Pierce smiles. Bad things happen when he smiles, of that Viktor is certain. "That being said. I think you could be our following breakthrough. What do you say? I'd love to see a performance. "

"I'd be surprised if you guys had a Juniors league." He snorts, expecting a smart retort, but all he gets is a sinister grin. All of a sudden he's in the ring, without even noticing he was moved, and before him stands a beast of a man, two heads taller and promise of pain in his eyes. "... What juice do you give this kid?"

"You're charismatic. You'll need that in this world. He's your adversary for tonight. I'd suggest an old fashioned glove bump for the sake of sport, but, seeing as you're barehanded id advise against it. "

"You can't do that, " nervousness bubbles in his throat. "That's against the rules. I can't fight like that."

"Oh! Don't worry. You don't have to fight. You just have to die."

--

The last time Rumlow sees Barnes is on a stretcher, arm bathed in blood and with the press around an ambulance.

He doesn't know what they were. Fuck buddies to almost friends to friends with benefits? He doesn't know what he had, but he knows he lost it. All he has is a sheet of paper with scratched blue ink, digits that no longer call, and some gold on leather.

"You should treat that belt with more respect. " Rollins scolds him. Rumlow uses it as feet rest next, and doesn't flinch at the sharp slap he receives. Instead, he smiles mockingly, lower lip sticking out in a tempting pout.

"Hit a bit harder next time and maybe it'll be half close to how Barnes used to do it. Just because it felt good with him doesn't mean you'll receive the same response." The pout slips into a smile that drinks into the frustration sizzling around the air. "Besides, I don't listen to cowards, Jackie. Thought we established that."

"Oh, please. Are you ever going to let that go? I ain't gonna repeat it a thousand times till you get It through that hard head of yours, but I didn't shoot your boy toy."

'' I didn't say you shot him. Pussy like yourself, I'm thinking you hired someone. Why did you do it? Hm? Were you that scared to fight him that you wanted to kill him? Hell, I don't blame you. Man sprints like Ali and serves like Creed. "

It's Jack's turn to return that grin, that fucking blood-curling grin. " Used to, for sure. Remember when he fucked up your pretty face in '84. Now? He's a street rat barely getting by, sniffing after junk and scraps just to stay alive. Must be hard to think about, I guess, that he used to give it so good and now he can't even hold you, can't he? Not with his cripple self. "

The beer can in Rumlow's hand spills over. Neither comment. "I ain't afraid of no half-man, Brocky, " Honey-sweet words make him sick. He wants to kick Jack out, but they both know he won't stay away, and that Rumlow won't keep him away. He's too dependent on him at this point. "And not stupid enough to think he's coming back."

"... You're right. You're not afraid to fight him. You've got a lot of words worth to point the finger at, but chicken shit? Ain't one of them. You know what I think?" Rumlow sits back, smirk wide and nasty, contradicting the sadness on his tongue, the venom, the tired. " I think you were afraid to be him. That he just? Didn't give a shit. Just like I did. That he could fuck me whenever and wherever he damn well pleased without giving a shit about who had something to say about it.

You were afraid I'd say something about you, even if we both damn well know that never happened, that he found out. I think you were terrified he was gonna tell the world Jack Rollins was a faggot just like his daddy."

He can't snapshot the moment his body makes contact to the floor. He doesn't count the punches either, letting them numb over his face, no longer present for the beating. At around one point, his neck snaps to the TV screen, in sync with Jack ceasing his onslaught, and his eyeballs follow his stunned gaze.

Rumlow can recall the time Barnes lost his right hand.

And he'll brain engrave the image of him kncoking some goon out with his left.

[ladybender]

I just watched beast with a billion backs for the first time and i was just wondering if there's any general fandom opinion on why fry was so quick to jump into other relationships and forget about leela right from the start of it?

i’m so sorry i’m only responding to this ask now… i was crafting the perfect response for days, because this topic rocks and i have so much to say, and then life got weird, and then i forgot… but now I’m here nonny, and this ask will get ANSWERED

Let me just start by saying, I have one solid hot take for this movie, but it wasn’t first formulated by me, but by my very fav fic author The Sophisticated Shut In, a longish time ago. i’m putting it together again from scratch and memory, so maybe now it belongs to a mix of the both of us? idk. It was her big brain that shock me into belief tho so she should get credit too. That said, let’s start!

So! a month had passed between BBS and BWABB. during this time Fry and Leela most likely didn’t talk much. Leela was mourning the death of Lars and she needed time to sort out all of her emotions (MANY of which are related to Fry). So, she does what most would do when things change drastically and you feel unbalanced, you wish for things to go momentarily “back to normal” just to have some stability and time to think.

But! if Fry and Leela have a weakness, is that they are so terrible at communicating. so while Leela’s seemingly pretending everything that happened actually never happened, Fry doesn’t understand why Leela is leaving him out of her life and is not talking to him. 

I’m gonna take a big step back here. after the opera, Fry most likely left it up to Leela to decide what she wanted to do with their relationship. the opera itself is the last big grand gesture Fry made in the show. after that, he thought he has done everything he could, and pretty successfully told Leela what he felt in a way she understood. So he stood still, giving Leela the chance to step forward. I’m never sure what really happens here, but they must have lost the moment somehow, because Fry's waiting for Leela to make a move and tell him how she feels, and Leela's waiting for fry to maybe prove that he meant it (don’t hate on her, she is basically going the equivalent of “but do you like me, like me?” in this moment and tbh i relate to that level of deep insecurity so much). The result on this: they got stuck.

Now, idk if that gap between TDHAIP and BBS really was 3 years long, that’s a bit to much imo, but if it really was it would make sense (in a sad, frustrating way) why Leela all but jumped into Lars’s arms, and Fry made those drastic and dramatic decisions like, in this order: leaving the future, staying in the past, leaving the past, pretending to be someone else for years, catfishing Leela, not telling anyone he’s dying and instead lying some more, “i’ll only tell the truth in the form of a video-confession at my own funeral” (I mean, I love the guy, but he made some questionable choices. i can understand everything and cry forever if you think it has been 3 + 12 + 2ish years total since he wrote the opera for Leela with no response).

Now, back to BWABB. Leela in ignoring Fry, with all the best intention in the world, but *surprise*, it turns out that it wasn’t a wise move (who would have thought!!), because now Fry is acting out of the ordinary and it confuses Leela more. and instead of saying "calm down mayhaps, i don’t hate you you big baby, i just need to think”, she goes ahead and only indulges him when they are with the others, playing along with the ‘everything is fine’ facade, but when it’s just the two of them and he needs her help (as a friend), she shuts down or lashes out at him. I mean look at this shit

She is outright telling him to leave!!! red flag

Fry, on his end, doesn’t really know what Leela is going through (bc talking? I don’t know her), so if you look at it in his POV it’s pretty depressing. Leela was about to marry Lars, the man she said she loved and was the only one for her, he thought that meant things would change between them now. But as it turns out, things were just the same after. until they turned worse than ever.

Just think about Fry and Leela most representative quote: “you are lonely and I am lonely, but together we are lonely together.” This is not true anymore in this movie. For the first time they are lonely apart. And really, their themes are all about that. For Leela it’s isolation, specifically. She is constantly isolating herself (at Amy’s wedding, for example. Or how she’s the only one not to “love the tentacle” AND to not want to go to heaven and be with Yivo. The only one. In the entire universe. immovable object).

As a contrast, Fry’s loneliness is unbarable to him, and is expressed in this constant and desperate need to have something that will return his love (this is where both his relationships with Colleen and Yivo fit. unstoppable force lmao)

Not but really, Fry’s relationships are so rushed, and clearly just an attempts to push his loneliness in a corner. Fry even put up with an open relationship (something he visibly didn’t want) to stay with Colleen. he was pretty desperate. This relationship with her is also a regression for fry - the way he didn’t want to break up with Colleen resembles a lot Michelle. but that isn’t even the worst of the two because then you look at Yivo, and I cannot even begin to laugh at how big of a Leela mirror shklim is (but I’ll get to that later). All I have to say about Yivo and Fry’s relationship is contained in this quote:

Fry says “it loves me” before he says “i love it”. That kinda says it all.

And finally let’s talk about mirror and color coding bc I thrive for that shit!!

So I think I can safely say Fry is represented by orange and Leela is represented by purple. nothing new under the sun. and those colors play a major role in this movie!! And they are about as subtle as you might think lmao

First let’s take a look at Colleen:

She is literally always wearing purple??? (only when she is in her cop uniform she isn’t). And if you think that’s not enough to prove my point look at this

I KNOW,, what the hell, right?!!

the animator coloring this, probably: “just a little bit of purple to show Fry is trying to get over Leela and failing big time *drops whole palette of purple into the frame* WOOPSY”

PLUS (and here comes the most subtle but BLATANT thing this movie has done so far) look at what Fry sees in the montage after he and Colleen break up

Fry just sees generic couples being happy and kissing!! No colleen resembling anything! Fry is not missing her, he’s missing something else 👀👀👀. all the women in this are wearing purple…. the guy making out with his psychiatrist is one of Leela’s ex-lovers……… the two characters fighting and then making up are orange and purple…..??? I JUST DON’T KNOW WHO COULD IT BE!

and this is not even touching the whole Yivo business. Can I talk about Yivo , I’ve been dying to talk about Yivo with you all day! One eye,? check. purple? check. tentacles??? Check. fry finding shklim after wondering alone in a strange new world, and the lonely monster will help him feel less alone??! CHECK!

I know the movies are weird in a shippy pov (took me so long to understand what the fuck was going on in Bender’s Game from a freela prospective, and i dont even know for sure if i have it right lmao) but the movies make a lot more sense if you look at them as Leela realizing her own feelings for Fry in BBS, and the next three films as her dealing with that until finally!!!!

[void-writes]

The Atlantic Craft/Minecraft Villians

Warnings

Some blood and gore

Also dead bodies

And murder

Gun mentions

No major characters get hurt tho

Characters

Kraken Kid

Animal (oc)

Indominus Rex (Indom)

Cody

Flame Caller (technically oc, I.Rex sibling)

NightLight (technically oc, I.rex sibling)

Oc description

She has a (mostly) normal looking human body and she has a 7 foot long white tail, almost 1 foot tall white ears. Blonde hair and green eyes Also shes not human and looks around 13-14. Her shies are grey with three blue claws at the front and one in the back

Description

Animal loses the I.Rex and has to find her before her siblings get back from their hunt and wreak havoc over atlantis and cause war to break out again

Extra

This is a re-write of something I made a few years ago from what I remember of the plot.

The picture is a drawing of Animal my friend VoldemortxHarry drew of her (akdhdj ignore the name of the account it's a joke please don't murder either of us) (also am sorry about tagging u)

~~~

"AN!" Kraken yelled/chirped almost breaking down the door to Animals house. She didn't look up but her fluffy ears turned toward him, showing she was listening. He was panting a bit - something the purple kraken rarely did - which made her whole body face him, tilting her head.

"Uh so... Indom is gone" he said. Animal stood up almost tripping over her tail if she didn't catch herself in the water, "What do you mean 'Indom is gone'!" Animal said, "How does a nearly 50 foot long pure white dinosaur made specifically to be able to maim and kill people just, disappear?!"

"I don't know? She was on the radar and then she just.... Disappeared! It's not like she took out the tracker or something, which she hasn't done in years anyway, it's like it got destroyed?" Kraken sat down against the wall. "We need to find her before her siblings find out and we start another war with Atlantis because they can't control themselves"

Animal was already grabbing a bag, "I'm going to go try and find her and also tell Cody what is going on so they can prepare to try to sedate the other two if they freak out" She waved at Kraken before swimming away out of the caves and toward Atlantis.

She swam around the castle in the center of the city of Atlantis before diving down into the center of it (there's no roof in a part of the center) startling the current king, who is a penguin, Cody. She landed with a small clink on the tiles due to her shoes and waved at him. The guards in the throne room pointed their weapons at her. Cody motioned for them to put the weapons down before walking over to Animal, "Why are you here?" He asked her. Animal rocked in her heels, "welllll, Indom is gone and we don't know where she went so we wanted to asked you if you have seen her and also if you haven't to have everyone be prepared to sedate to other indominus rexes about the same size but angry"

"Wait- sorry so you're telling me theres more than one indominus rex?" Cody said, slightly alarmed because Indom had almost killed him multiple times.

"Uh, yeap. Well if you haven't seen her got to go and find her myself, Bye!" Animal jumped up and swam away to go around the sides of the entire area the Nexus covered (as Indom wouldn't be able to breathe outside of it as she didn't have gills depsite living underwater)

Animal finally noticed something around the edges of the coral field, a few dead bodies which looked like humans. Which you could actually only tell due to the fact that their heads where thrown somewhere as the rest of their bodies were ripped and torn. Which was something that either it was from Indom or one of her siblings, and only Indom went around this area to hunt so her.

Animal slowed down and swam down to the area where the bodies were, she silently slipped a dagger from her pocket and a mini version of the Dragon from another pocket before creeping forward, following a trail of blood and guts from one of the bodies.

She went inside of the cave and noticed two things

A lot of humans

And most of those humans trying to knock out a very angry Indom (which was not working seeing as there was about 5 dead bodies in front of her and also anything being shot at her was bouncing off)

Animal stood up and walked forward, the claws of her shoes clicking when she stepped on the rock, "hey so, I recommend you stop doing that to her" she said. Everyone looked at her, one of the humans yelled at her "And what do you think you're going to do about it little girl" they said and started to laugh. For about a second before they died from being shot by a bullet. All of the humans immediately stopped and looked at her in fear, each of them were thinking the same thing "Is this Animal, the person who is the second in command of the Tide Changers?" Which of course

The answer was yes. While all of them were frozen in fear Animal took the few seconds to shoot a few more and stabbing the two closest to her with her dagger, Indom grabbed the ones in front of her and just- ripped them in half. A small group of the humans ran away but neither Animal or Indom cared about them.

Quick time skip to after both of them get back to the Conch Command and clean up themselves.

"Hey Kraken we're back!" Animal says waving to the purple kraken who was currently trying to get two other indominus rexes, one smaller and almost pure red, and one the same size as Indom but almost pure black. When those two indominus rexes spotted Indom they ran over to her and did their best version of a hug.

Kraken waved to Animal and smiled at her. "Glad to see you're okay" he walked over to her and put an arm (tentacle????) Around her shoulders, "couldn't want to lose my second in command"

The end (because I have no other idea on how to end this)

[fiive-second-cookies]

A Logince bullet fic thing based off dodie’s “Arms Unfolding” song

I wrote this like a month ago and said I’d post it and then never did, but here it finally is!

Hope I’m not tired of rebuilding ‘Cause this might take a little more •night before The Meeting •a few months after they broke up •Roman is crying because something reminded him of Logan, his ex boyfriend, and it’s just one of those days •Ro calls Patton over and Patton is lovely and helps Roman feel better with supportive back rubs and Disney movies I think I’d like to try look at you And feel the way I did before •*fast forward to the next morning* •To say Roman was having a bad morning was a major understatement •he woke up late, missed an audition, his manager called to tell him he didn’t get the part in one of the plays he auditioned for, he was completely out of his favorite jam, and he had forgotten to do laundry the day before so his outfit plans were ruined •could his day possibly get any worse?! •he goes to his favorite coffee shop for some coffee •if Roman had been less frazzled, he would have seen Remy’s subtle panicked glance to the corner of the the shop by the window where a certain bespectacled nerd was sitting and reading a book •but Remy recovers quickly and Ro remains oblivious •Remy the barista is a snarky but lovable sass queen •”wow, Ro, bad morning?” snickering •”shut it, Rem. I’m not in the mood” •Roman turns around to leave, coffee cup in hand, and instantly locks eyes with Logan across the coffee shop •*sharp intake of breath* •yes. apparently his day could get worse.

(the rest is under the cut because this is pretty long)

Oh, our fire died last winter All of the shouting blew it out •flashback to fights and arguments towards the end of when they were still together •they both kept getting mad over stupid, unimportant things •Logan was staying up all night to work •Roman was coming home late from rehearsals •Roman was leaving a mess on the kitchen table from a craft (“there is glitter all over the table, Roman!”) •Logan wouldn’t stop studying to eat or sleep or focus on Ro •Logan forgot their two year anniversary •neither of them could remember how the last argument had started, but it was the worst one by far, and it ended with untruthful things (“maybe it’d just be easier if we weren’t together!”) being said and they were both crying and Logan stormed out of Roman’s apartment •needless to say, they had broken up •(all because of about a month of like two or three trivial arguments a week) •Ro collapsed to the floor as soon as the door slammed shut, chest heaving as he sobbed You know I could live without or with you But I might like having you about •Roman took the breakup… really hard, to say the least •he refused to answer calls or texts from anyone for nearly a week •and in that week he barely slept or ate food •finally, Patton had Enough™️ and got extremely worried •with the help of Virgil, they figured out a way to get into Ro’s apartment (aka calling Roman’s moms cuz they have a spare key to his apartment for emergencies) •the place was a mess, to put it kindly •and Roman was even worse •Virgil wasn’t sure how to help, so Patton took control and went full Dad Mode with Ro. Feeding him, making sure he took a shower and changed clothes, tidying up his apartment, and letting Roman cry his heart out •Patton is literally the sweetest person and the bestest friend ever •after about two weeks, Roman is finally feeling better •(he’s not actually better (his heart is still shattered and sometimes he still cries himself to sleep) but at least now he’s able to get back to work and talk to his friends and family) •Roman seems mostly fine to the outside world (except Patton and occasionally Virgil) and life returns to “normal” •Roman will still cry to Pat about missing Logan occasionally tho, usually during their weekly sleepover Yes, these new walls are pretty hard to crack And it might take a while until I trust you won’t attack •*back to the present in the coffee shop* •Logan is Shook for a moment and his eyes go wide •then Logan takes a deep breath and relaxes somewhat, putting on a neutral facade •Roman knows he can’t just leave now, so he walks over to Logan’s table •both of them are definitely feeling a bit awkward •”uh, hey, Logan” •”salutations, Roman” •a few beats of awkward silence •Lo: “so… how’ve you been?” •”uh, I’ve been… fine” (lie) “how about you?” •”I… I’ve been busy with work and my studies, but things have been going… great” (now they’re both lying) “I suppose you’ve been busy, too, with your successful attempts at professional make-believe?” •”oh, uh, y-yeah of course. I’ve been super busy with lots of auditions and rehearsals and… and performances” •that’s only half true •Roman has been busy with lots of auditions •but he’s been a little… lackluster since the breakup, and hasn’t gotten any big roles •Logan lifts an eyebrow slightly, obviously picking up on Roman’s hesitance and lie •”are you quite sure?” •Roman’s eyes narrow “of course I’m sure!” •Logan is closely inspecting Roman, and can clearly see the walls the boisterous man has put up against him •”well, it has been enjoyable to catch up with you. but you probably have places to be, and I have must leave for work soon” •Roman is grateful for the obvious attempt at providing an escape •”yes, of course. Great, uh—great talking to you, Lo” •Roman misses the slip-up in his haste, but Logan’s breath hitches at the use of his nickname •Roman is already halfway out the door by the time Lo recovers enough to lift a shaky hand in goodbye •a few hours later, Ro calls Patton in a lowkey panicked state •the two go out for dinner and Ro tells Patton everything Oh, I apologize, but it was only self-defense Running away just made sense •*flash forward about a week maybe* •Roman is in a rush because his manager is going to kill him he can’t be late for another audition •and Roman quite literally runs into Logan •Roman spills his coffee and drops the sandwich he was trying to stuff in his mouth between whispered curses as he was walking •Logan drops a few papers he had been reading through, only narrowly keeping hold on the laptop bag slung on his shoulder •”oh my goodness I’m so sor—Logan! I— uh, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” •”no, Roman, it’s alright. I apologize about your drink and food. Perhaps… you’d let me repay you?” •Roman does a double take •”um… sure” •his manager was so going to kill him •Logan leads the way to a nearby park and buys them each a pretzel ((don’t ask me why, I couldn’t thing of anything else)) •they walk in a mostly awkward silence •Logan stops at a park bench right underneath a big tree •and of course it just has to be one of their favorite spots from when they were dating •they sit down and now it’s really awkward •after a few minutes, Roman speaks up •”I… I’m sorry for… running away last week, y’know, at the coffee shop” •”you don’t need to apologize, I understand” •more awkward silence •”actually… I’d like to apologize as well” •Roman finally turns towards Lo with a questioning look •”the way things… ended between us… was not… was not, um…” •Roman is shocked to hear Logan at a loss for words •”I just— I am very sorry, Roman. That was not a good way to end our relationship. And… honestly… I— I wish our relationship hadn’t ended at all” •Roman’s breath hitches and he goes to say something •”no! Sorry, but, please, just listen to me” •Roman, reluctantly, stays quiet •”Roman, I miss being with you. Right before we broke up, I was extremely stressed and my temper was unbelievably short. I should not have taken out my… emotions… on you. Looking back, most of our arguments were… pointless and petty.” •Roman goes to interrupt, but Logan keeps going •”of course, I do not take full responsibility for our disagreements. We both know that the fault lies with both of us. But we should have communicated better to solve our issues, rather than yelling over silly problems and allowing the other to stay angry.” •Logan has been staring forward the whole time, but now, he glances at Roman •”while we were dating, Roman, I was the happiest I’ve ever been. And since we’ve broken up, I’ve felt… incomplete. Almost… hollow. You helped me learn how to accept my emotions, but without you around, I’ve locked away my feelings, once again, into a metaphorical box and completely ignored them” •tears form in Logan’s eyes •”all this to say… I hope that, one day, we can… try again. Not dating! Not necessarily, of course. I would never, ever force you to do something you don’t want to do. But, at the very least, I’d like to try being friends again, Ro” But here I am with arms unfolding I guess it isn’t quite the end •Roman has tears running down his cheeks now •”Lo“—his voice cracks with emotion—“Logan, I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry we fought like that, and I’m sorry we broke up. You’re absolutely right, we should have handled our emotions better and not let them take over. I’m just— I’m so so sorry, Lo” •Roman is fully crying now •Logan grabs Ro’s hand, and Roman holds on almost painfully tight, but Logan doesn’t mind at all •”it’s been so hard the past few months without you. There hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t missed you. God, I’ve missed you so much, Lo” •The tears fall silently from Logan’s eyes now too •”you are absolutely right. We should have communicated better instead of getting into arguments. We shouldn’t have let a few petty disagreements ruin our whole relationship. I deeply regret not fixing that problem and just letting it get out of hand. I’m sorry” •Logan holds out his arms and Roman doesn’t even hesitate to collapse against the other man’s chest •Logan wraps his arms around Roman and the two sit there, Roman holding back sobs and Logan silently letting his tears fall Old partner in crime, I’m going to try To fall in love with you again •After a few minutes, both of them have calmed down a bit •Roman leans back, but makes sure Logan’s arms stay wrapped around him •”about your offer—” •Logan’s eyes widen ever so slightly and he tightens his arms around the other •”I’d love to be friends again, Logan.” •Logan lets out a relieved breath •”in fact, I’d love to try dating you again. Only if you want to though! And we’d take things slow, of course! But I just feel like we’ve both learned from our mistakes and grown in the last few months. We know now that communication is extremely important, especially when our emotions are at extremes.” •Logan smiles •”I would also love to rekindle our relationship, Roman.” •Roman smiles back •”would you like to accompany me on a date to… say, dinner at your favorite restaurant?” •Roman’s smile gets impossibly wider •”that sounds wonderful, Lo. Meet tomorrow at seven?” •”that’s perfect, Ro” •these two nerds in love just stare at each other, smiling and happier than they’ve been in months •until Roman’s phone rings, his manager’s name showing up on the screen •”oh, shit”