#drunk chaos

[p1girlfriend]

you cut yourself shaving – grid reactions ── .✦

content: shaving accident + soft chaos + them freaking out or babying you

lando norris ── .✦

he hears a yelp from the bathroom and IMMEDIATELY goes

“are you dead? are you bleeding? did you fall?” you show him your leg and it’s a tiny river of blood he freaks like you got stabbed “you need stitches. we need gauze. where’s the gauze?? do we have gauze??” brings you a Spider-Man bandaid and insists on applying it himself while calling you “my little wounded soldier.”

oscar piastri ── .✦

calm. too calm. you tell him you cut yourself and he’s like

“okay. how bad?” you show him. his face drops. “oh. okay. we’re dealing with a murder scene.” brings paper towels like it’s a crime scene investigator kit then quietly goes and googles “do deep razor cuts need stitches” while pretending he’s totally confident.

charles leclerc ── .✦

“what happened?” you show him and he gasps like he just witnessed a horror movie “mon dieu, you’re bleeding!!” he immediately grabs every skincare product in reach like it’s useful “this is toner, right? no, wait. no no, that’s serum. shit.” ends up pressing a cold washcloth on it and kissing your knee like it’ll fix it

lewis hamilton ── .✦

he walks in, sees the cut, and just calmly says

“sit down, baby. i got this.” pulls out an actual first aid kit like a professional he’s gentle, precise, maybe even too calm but after he bandages you up: “now why were you shaving in a rush? hmm?” makes you promise to be careful and lets you cuddle into him for the rest of the night like it’s part of healing

carlos sainz ── .✦

“AY DIOS— what did you do!?” you say “i was shaving” and he goes “you were WHAT? no, never again.” full-on dramatic dad mode he’s down on one knee, dabbing at your skin like he’s tending to a soccer injury refuses to let you get up “you rest. i’ll make you tea. or wine. probably wine.”

daniel ricciardo ── .✦

gasps SO LOUD

“BLOOD?! OH MY GOD. YOU’RE DYING.” you’re like: it’s just a razor cut. “WE NEED TO AMPUTATE. I MEAN. IT’S BEEN NICE.” he brings you snacks, band-aids, and a Sharpie so he can draw a “cool scar” on the bandage later tells everyone “she almost lost a leg, but she pulled through. brave girl.”

gabriel bortoleto ── .✦

he gets so serious

“amor?? what happened? are you okay?” you tell him and he sighs in relief but still treats it like a real wound presses kisses around the cut, tells you you’re brave, literally calls it a “warrior mark” “now you have a story to tell.” offers to finish shaving your legs and actually does a decent job

franco colapinto ── .✦

walks in, sees the cut, panics for 0.5 seconds

“shit, did the razor attack you?” then immediately turns into chaos starts pacing “do i put pressure? should i elevate your leg? babe where is your blood pressure monitor—do we even own one??” you calm him down he puts a bandaid on, kisses it, then dramatically falls onto the bed like the crisis aged him 10 years

max verstappen ── .✦

he walks in, sees it, and goes

“…that’s a lot of blood.” immediately takes control. cleans it, bandages it like a machine but the whole time: “this is why you let me shave your legs.” you’re like ??? “you get distracted. i’m steady.” he’s so smug. but he also tucks you into the couch after with a blanket and snacks like he didn’t just roast you

©p1girlfriend | requested | requests open!

[leafyeyes417]

Danny sat on a rooftop feeling confused. It was currently 3 days later than he last remembered. That was 3 DAYS with no memory of anything. He didn’t even know what city he was in. The only thing he is sure of is that it wasn’t mind control. His experience with Freakshow let him know that.

Along with this feeling more similar to the time his mom shoved high proof cleaning alcohol that was ectofied in his face during an excited rant. The fumes alone had him missing a few hours. Luckily Jazz was there and kept his blackout drunk self entertained.

So the question was, where the hell was he and what did he do?! Also, what caused him to blackout? Last he remembered he was in Metropolis and he got nearly hit in the head with a green glowing stone that he only vaguely could tell was somehow not ectoradium. After that? Nothing.

Aka: Kryptonite is highly compressed ectoplasm and causes Danny to get black out drunk just by being in its vicinity.

P.S. I also would love to see what chaos you think Danny would get up to lol

[natalievoncatte]

Kara heard a distinctive hollow pop as she approached Lena’s apartment. The doorman had been gracious enough to let her up, informing her that Miss Luthor was expecting her. She knocked on the door and listened intently. The soft clink of a bottle being set on a table and rather gentle passing of Lena’s feet on the hardwood floor. Kara resisted the urge to peer through the door.

When it swung in, she wished she’d had the chance to prepare herself. Lena was visibly distraught, eyes red rimmed from crying and cheeks puffy. She was dressed down in a a sweater and leggings, and couldn’t meet Kara’s gaze with her own.

It hurt. Seeing her like this physically hurt, gouging a dull ache into her chest. Her first instinct was to reach out and scoop the smaller woman into a tight hug, make her safe, to wall her in with her arms. Kara fought it down and sighed.

“You… don’t look so good.”

“Come in,” Lena said, her voice soft and flat. “If you want to hang out with a monster, that is.”

Lena turned and trudged back into the apartment as if she was walking to the gallows. She fell back into the couch and grabbed the wine bottle from the table, long since having abandoned the pretext of glasses.

“You’re not a monster, Lena.”

She stared at the bottle and took a long pull from it, the wine sloshing around the bottom.

“Yeah I am. You ever watch Godzilla movies?”

Kara blinked. “What?”

“Godzilla. Giant radioactive lizard.”

“Of course.”

Lena snorted a bitter laugh. “Monsters are born too large, too strong, too tall. That is their tragedy. Or something like that. Director of the movie said it. That’s me. I’m not trying to hurt anyone, it’s just in my blood. It’s who I am and I’ll never escape it.”

“That’s not true,” Lena said, softly.

She looked around the apartment, shocked to find dishes piled in the sink and two more empty wine bottles lined up on the kitchen island.

Kara quickly moved to the couch. Lena offered no resistance as Kara took the bottle. Lena stared as Kara took a long, glugging pull.

“There. Now you’re not drinking alone.”

Lena smiled weakly. Kara didn’t mind the taste of the wine but as far as getting her drunk, it was like pouring it down the drain. If she could keep Lena from alcohol poisoning, it was worth it. Kara felt a tug in her chest. Lena looked so soft, her big eyes wet with tears.

“I only wanted to help.”

“You did, Lena. You saved the world.”

“Children, Kara. Sick kids, dying because of me.”

“That’s not true, Lena. Edge is cooking the data, you know that. We’re going to clear your name and I’m going to help.”

“I’m so tired, Kara. My own brother tries to murder me once a week because I won’t help him try to take over the world. I keep getting kidnapped by my insane family and aliens and God knows who else and I’m tired. That woman today almost killed me. One of these times there won’t be someone to jump in front of the bullet and it’ll be my time.”

“That won’t happen.”

Lena shook her head, failing to fight back the tears. “I’m so tired of being everyone’s monster.”

“You’re not a monster to me, Lena. You are so good. You work so hard and care so much, and people don’t even know about your work at the children’s hospital, the reading to the kids. You’re a saint.”

Lena looked at her sharply. “How did you know about that?”

Kara thought, FUCK.

She fiddled with her glasses, knowing it was a tell.

“I um, well I am a reporter. I won’t tell anyone, I know you don’t want publicity.”

“Kara, I’m confused. I put a lot of effort into making sure no one knows I do that, so the kids don’t have to deal with the bullshit my life brings. Have you been following me?”

Kara licked her lips.

Just holding back the truth isn’t make it a lie, did it?

“More like keeping tabs, just to… keep you safe. To watch your back.”

Lena looked horrified. Kara’s chest seized and she thought for a moment that she’d gone too far.

“Kara, I don’t want you doing that. If Edge or my brother come after me and you’re in the way, they’ll kill you. You can’t risk that, you don’t deserve it.”

Lena grabbed her hands. “Listen to me, Kara. I have a target on my back. I have a price on my head. Sooner or later my number is going to be up and I’d rather die than have you be the one to catch the bullet. I just want you to be okay.”

“They won’t get you.”

Lena pressed her eyes shut and choked back a sob. “Yeah, they will. I’m living on borrowed time. It’s just a matter of the odds, in the end. Next time James won’t be there to take a bullet for me and Supergirl will be too busy and I’ll just be another monster on obituary page until-“

“Stop it!” Kara barked, shocked at the sharp snap of her own voice. “Stop it. I won’t let them.”

Lena’s eyes snapped open and she stared at Kara, more than a little shocked. Her hands tensed, closing tightly around Kara’s.

“Don’t put that on yourself. I’m not you’re responsibly and I don’t want you risking your life for me. It’s just not worth it.”

“You are worth it,” Kara insisted, shaking her hands a little as she leaned in. “You are, and I won’t accept that you’re not.”

“I love that you believe in me so much.”

Kara’s heart did a backflip. Love? She loved it? Lena was looking at her with such a softness in her eyes, and Kara scolded herself that she was drunk, that she might say things she didn’t intend or didn’t want to slip out.

“But,” Lena said, “you’re just one person, you can’t save me from this.”

Kara’s jaw set as she bit down on this pressure growing inside her, as if something had taken root in her chest and grown and grown inside until it made her ribs creak and her heart ache and it would split her open if she didn’t let it out.

She wasn’t drunk. She was lucid, clearheaded, but Lena was gazing into her soul with tear-filled eyes and she looked so small and vulnerable and resigned, like she was just waiting for her turn at the headsman’s axe.

Kara couldn’t take it. She couldn’t fucking take it, and the words came so easily she scarcely knew how she’d held it in for so long.

“I can protect you, Lena. I’m Supergirl. I can do anything.”

Lena’s soft expression twisted into a scowl.

“Bad time for a joke, Kara.”

Tenderly, as gently as she could, Kara guided Lena’s hand to her glasses.

“Go ahead.”

Lena hesitated, chewing her lip, eyes flicking strangely, gaze surveying Kara’s face- looking at her eyes, her scar, and in a way that pulled at Kara’s heart, her lips.

Slowly, carefully, Lena pulled the glasses free, visibly surprised by their weight.

“They’re lined with lead. It helps with sensory overload.”

Lena raised her now shaking hand and her thumb grazed Kara’s ear as she reached back to unclasp the clip holding Kara’s hair, allowing honeyed tresses to spill free across her shoulders and down her back.

“Look at me, Lena.”

Lena looked. Her expression flickered from pained annoyance to shock to something Kara couldn’t quite identify.

“You lied to me,” Lena whispered.

Kara bit back some lame excuse, like I never said I wasn’t Supergirl.

“I did, and I’m sorry. If this means your feelings about me have changed, that’s okay, but I won’t stop protecting you. I won’t let Morgan Edge or your brother or anyone hurt you. Never you.”

Kara’s jaw trembled as she spoke and her heart was racing.

Lena’s was doing the same, beating too fast in her chest. Kara carefully put her hands on Lena’s shoulders.

“Easy,” she said. “I know this is a shock.”

“When you caught me after… when you saved me from Lillian… when you… the helicopter… that was you?”

“Always, Lena. I’ll never let you fall.”

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

She was staring, but rather than meet Kara’s gaze, she was looking lower, eyes fixed on Kara’s lips. Kara’s gut did a backflip at the way Lena was looking at her, mouth slightly parted, flushed, her heart racing.

If Kara was human, she might pick up on those things, or she might not. She might be confused or briefly wonder if Lena was really looking at her the way it seemed she was.

Kara Danvers was not human. She could look up and see particles dancing across the atmosphere in hues for which humans had no names because their eyes were blinded to them. She could hear the rapid beating of Lena’s heart and see the heat blooming on her skin and taste on her tongue the tangy, pleasant musk of the pheromones Lena was emitting, and she could do it all so fast that her mind processed it so quickly that it could barely be measured. When Lena began to lean towards her, she watched it happen in curious slow motion.

When Lena kissed her, it was an explosion of sensation. Not just the soft warmth of her lips but her scent, her real scent breath the perfumes and sharp tang of wine smell, the pure scent of Lena herself. The soft sigh that broke from Lena’s lips was a symphony, and Lena’s hands on Kara’s flanks was like a blast of firecrackers running under her skin to ignite a sudden flare of warmth low in her hips.

Lena was kissing her. Kara was kissing her back, consuming every aspect of the contact in perfect detail, burning it into her solar-powered Kryptonian mind where it would live in perfect detail for the rest of forever.

She gently, oh so gently, pushed Lena back.

“Lena, stop.”

“Oh,” Lena murmured, her face falling. “I didn’t… I’m sorry… I thought… I misread…”

“No, no Lena it’s not that I promise, you’re drunk. You’ve had too much to drink and I can’t let you do anything while you’re like this, I couldn’t take it if you wake up tomorrow and…”

Lena blinked back tears.

“Oh my God. You really are a superhero, aren’t you?”

“I’m just being decent.”

Lena smiled sadly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Well, you’ve got me, Lena. You’re not getting rid of me.”

Lena actually laughed, a bitter little chuckle that made her look away in embarrassment.

“I can imagine Lex seething if he found out about this.”

“Alex is going to kill me.”

Lena giggled. “Oh my God.”

“What, um, what is this, exactly?” said Kara, her voice cracking with tension. “I mean, you kissed me.”

“I did,” Lena said, guarded. “I’ve wanted to for so long. How does the saying go? In vino, veritas?”

“In wine there is truth,” said Kara.

“Yeah.”

“Lena, we’re going to get through this, I promise, and I will always protect you. Always. Right now I need to protect you from the hangover you’re going to have tomorrow. I’m putting you to bed, and I’m sleeping on the couch.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t have to, but I need to know you’re safe, and you can’t get any safer than Supergirl crashing on your couch.”

Lena blurted, “I could have her in my bed.”

Kara thought her soul might leave her body.

“Not when you’ve had this much to drink.”

“God, you are amazing,” Lena sighed.

Kara nodded. “If you say so.”

It took a while for Kara to actually get Lena into her bed. Lena was suddenly taken with an extreme tiredness and Kara let her lean on her as they walked down the hall, fighting the urge singing in her veins, demanding that she pick her up and just carry her.

She may have been Supergirl, but even she had limits.

Once Lena was curled up in blankets and safe, Kara puttered around the apartment, doing the dishes, cleaning a little before she fell back on the expansive sofa to sleep.

When the warm morning sun woke her, she sat up and found Lena staring at her.

“I didn’t dream that. You’re really here.”

Kara rose from the couch and approached her tentatively.

“Yeah. I’m really here. Lena, if you’re angry with me because…”

Lena cut her off, darting forward to plant a soft kiss right on her lips. Kara froze as her brain essentially rebooted.

“Oh,” said Kara.

Lena smiled softly. She still looked bedraggled and had clearly been crying, but the smirk on her lips was everything.

[shannonsketches]

This movie's like twelve years old now but it will never not be one of my all-time favorite gags that this self-described ruthless thug of an ex-villain could easily fling Bulma over the roof of the building in the background

but even deeply stressed, embarrassed, and under desperate conditions he cannot disclose, this hyper powered alien will absolutely not use more strength against his wife than she can defend against

I also love that even this much force is a surprise to her. Schwoop. And then she resists. And he just. Lets her.

get you a man who can and will consistently do both

[draco-glacialis]

Rio: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Lilia: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Alice, drunk: FLOOR IT!!

Rio: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Lilia: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Rio: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Agatha, also drunk: DO IT!

Lilia: NO-

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[cheruv-ii]

Study ft.Ben

[quarantinevibes2020]

Had to draw something silly from chapter 5 of The Oathbreaker by @lesbianherald since the rest of the chapter destroyed me 🥲

[alice-the-arcane]

*mystical witchy sounds as i beat the shit out of bad vibes with a broom*

[akashis-waifu]

Ah, yes. The Neuvillette-Furina-Venti experience.

[p1girlfriend]

father’s day with him as your baby daddy ── .✦

content: dad fluff, soft chaos, baby giggles

lando norris ── .✦

“they got me a bib that says 'daddy’s fastest lap' and I’m gonna cry.” he wakes up to your baby in a helmet-themed onesie and your sleepy kiss. tries to act cool but chokes up when they hand him a crayon drawing that says “i luv you dada” you tell him he’s doing great and he immediately makes a TikTok about it while holding the baby upside down (giggling, not in danger).

oscar piastri ── .✦

you and your toddler bring him pancakes in bed. he looks like he’s holding it together but he absolutely tears up when the baby hugs him and says “papa.”

“I didn’t know I could love anything this much.” takes a hundred quiet photos of you two. won’t stop smiling the rest of the day. takes them to a bookstore and calls it “dad time.”

charles leclerc ─ .✦

cries. literally cries. his baby gives him a squished flower and he holds it like it’s a trophy.

“Mon coeur, did you help mama pick this for me?” walks around with the baby strapped to his chest all day. takes 40 photos of you and the baby together and captions them “my heart” in every group chat he’s ever been in.

lewis hamilton ─ .✦

it’s giving gentle king energy. homemade breakfast. jazz in the background. your baby in a bucket hat and oversized shades just like him. he thanks you 50 times throughout the day for “giving me the greatest gift I’ve ever had.” writes a caption so long on IG about fatherhood it makes everyone cry.

carlos sainz ─ .✦

pretends it’s just another day. but then your baby gives him a card with scribbles and he looks like he’s been punched in the soul.

“They made this… for me?” yes, king. lets them crawl all over him during the day. accidentally falls asleep holding both of you on the couch.

daniel ricciardo ─ .✦

full clown dad. matching outfits. he puts the baby in a cowboy hat.

“they’re baby yee and I’m haw.” gets emotional over a handmade card with glitter. turns to you: “you made me a dad. that’s, like, top tier sexy.” definitely ends the night with cake… and cuddles.

gabriel bortoleto ─ .✦

he is the softest, calmest dad. wakes up to the baby snuggled between you two, babbling nonsense. holds your hand over breakfast like

“this is my dream, sabia?” tells you that you’re the best mama in the world. takes your baby on a little walk around the block so you can nap. comes back with flowers for you.

franco colapinto ─ .✦

your baby says “papa” while holding a soft toy and he just. shuts down.

“that’s it. i’m done. take my whole soul.” you made a handmade Father’s Day card “from the baby” and he carries it in his wallet like a relic. refuses to let go of your waist all day. “we’re a little family. do you realize how cool that is?”

max verstappen ─ .✦

he’s weirdly nervous about his first Father’s Day

“do I get gifts? am I supposed to do something?” you surprise him with a matching race suit onesie for your baby. he melts. “they’re gonna be faster than me one day.” doesn’t say much — but holds your baby like they’re glass. kisses you goodnight and whispers “thank you for them.”

©p1girlfriend | requested | requests open!

[hayweerc]

Part 4 Q&A✏️ for my AU.

[dedlit]

Part 1 Part 2👆Part 3 (finale)

[weirdozjunkary]

Commission me on Ko-Fi!

Got drunk on a Monday night. Enjoy some doodles of Bedlam I made with requests from friends.

Bonus:

[vaguely-concerned]

kremy being so patient with twig even though she very nearly had them pulling one of those moves that get you doomed to eternal torment in greek mythology (i.e. secretly feeding people their own young)...... his is the voice of the most soul-tired man in the world when he says 'twig... I've done a lot of fucked up shit in my time, but I'm not gonna feed them people'. he's not angry he's not even disappointed he's just resigned. he's a person who has to draw the line somewhere and he's drawing it

[swan2swan]

Brooklynn and Yaz at the Malta Discotek, three nights apart: