#dungeon master things

[thetinyscald-blog]

Ran a Pathfinder Scenario recently for which I drew most of the maps and sprites, just to try few new things. Mostly isometric perspective as well as those visual-novel esque dialogues you see here. The later was very handy for me to show which NPCs is currently talking.

[tea-with-eleni]

On the subject of Castle Avernus

The architect should be fired.

Into the sun.

Like, I found an actual map of the place from one of the AD&D? 3.5? dunno but the quality was Not Great? adventures and I am having a devil of a time getting my head around how the weird central round towers work. Not helped by the isometric view of the original poster map.

I may have to draw the dang thing on tracing paper, layer by layer, to turn it into something moderately useful.

Since I am insane enough to think that might actually be a Good Idea despite it being objectively not since we may not even need a comprehensive battle map...

would any other DMs be interested in a, like, good quality map of Castle Avernus if I manage to create one?

[gardenia-nettle-first-floret]

Today’s emotion addendum:

[lyinginahammock]

Me, reading sci-fi or fantasy with a pen and paper ready: OK, I'm gonna steal that, steal this, steal that and...yeah, this too, why not.

Cut to hours later:

My players: How do you come up with all this stuff?

Me (looking at my DM's binder full of plot points and characters from the Dune Saga, The Dresden Files, Discworld, The Left Hand of Darkness, Wheel of Time, and the Cosmere): I dunno.

[just-dnd-thingys]

[rugwurm]

[parrish-the-thot]

A continuation of this post I made

I imagine Steve genuinely doesn’t think about Eddie, like at all. Besides the occasional “what is he yelling about in that table” or “ Munson actually showed up to class” or once in sophomore year he thinks “how much does Munson charge for an ounce of weed? Would he take a $50 for an ounce” which causes Eddie to wait around all day at the picnic table wishing for some shmuck to offer $50 for just an ounce, but no one shows up (Steve had to go pick up Dustin after school and didn’t want him to find weed the weed when he inevitably starts going through Steve’s car)

The lack of soulmate thoughts really irks Eddie, because he knows his soulmate is in Hawkins, but he never thinks about Eddie, like at all??? Positively or negatively?? Eddie jumps on more tables, he blares loud music from his van, he is in a band, he is the drug dealer for all the teens in Hawkins and all his soulmate thinks is “why the fuck did Munson double park his van, I’m going to be late looking for a parking spot now” it absolutely drives him crazy.

He eventually figures out his soulmate must be a jock of some kind because one day he hears “what is Munson doing under the bleachers?” when some sports team is let out of playing with balls practice. He is briefly heartbroken his soulmate isn’t a nerd like him, but then spends the night thinking about how a certain fluffy haired jock could play with his balls anytime.

Steve isn’t not thinking about Eddie on purpose, but they just don’t run in the same circles, so he doesn’t really think about him too much, just in a genuine, “I don’t know them, don’t interact with them, so I don’t really think about them” sort of way. Especially after befriending the kids, Steve’s focus goes to keeping them safe and being a babysitter instead of finding his soulmate.

Steve’s experience with his soulmates thoughts is completely different. Starting in middle school he heard his soulmate think he was cute which he thought was nice. As he got older his soulmate would still think he was cute, but also handsome or pretty which, he doesn’t know any girls who call their boyfriends pretty but ya know, he can roll with that. He thinks he will have to roll with a lot of stuff, since hai soulmate seems to into a…a lot of interesting things, to say the least. Steve has dated a lot of girls but none of them seemed to want to rub their face in his chest hair like his soulmate did, who also wonder is Steve was that hairy everywhere which- he was but he didn’t think a girl would want to know about that.

He would be in the middle of a basket ball game and he hit with a 15 minute monologue about how wonderful his ass looked in “thise little green shirts that ride up his ass in the best way” and how his soulmate “wanted to be those shorts” causing Steve to miss three different shots. Also with all this wildly kinky stuff and even general sex things Steve has never heard of or thought about he figures he should become more knowledgeable to better be prepared for his soulmate.

One day when Steve is cleaning up a drink he spilled in the cafeteria and heard “god Harrington looks good on his knees, bet he would look even better with my cock in his mouth” figures chances are his soulmate isn’t a girl at all.

With not much else to loose and a new door opened up to him, Steve starts spending time thinking equally horny thinvs about different guys he sees in class, just to see if they will react to what he is thinking. This is how he figures out Eddie is his soulmate.

Steve notices eddies table is getting a little rowdy, as is always does before Eddie gets up on someone’s table and he rants about jocks and preppy girls while stepping on people’s lunches, Steve thinks “what if comes over here, spits in my stretched out hole, and fucks me right next to Heathers Halloways tuna sandwich”

Eddie, whose soulmate didn’t even think about Eddie that one time his car got spray painted a fit was all the school talked about for a week, was NOT expecting that at 12:30 on a Tuesday and promptly trips on a chair and slams face first into the lunch table, breaking his nose.

Eddies friends rush him to the nurse and Steve is torn between this being a sign Eddie is soulmate or Eddie just clumsy, Steve has seen him walk into a door twice, so he don’t 100% sure. Steve decided to test this anytime he has a clear viewpoint of Eddie and starts thinking the most horny, kinky things possibly about Eddie to see if Eddie reacts proves he is Steve’s soulmate (also revenge because Steve had to go through years of Eddie horny pondering interrupting Steve during important tasks games or tests so Steve figures he should pay that forward during eddies dungeons and dorks games)

[ryan-waddell11]

help I’m still at the restaurant

[mocking-the-bird]

If Tim and Steph decide that 7am is time for sibling bonding activities, it'll be so, even if the sibling they're bonding with is trying to get some goddamn sleep

[artiststarme]

One day the kids wake up and they can’t find Steve. They search his house, the school track, the basketball courts, anywhere they can think of where they might find him and he’s nowhere to be found. When they go to Robin’s house, she’s missing too. Her parents haven’t seen her since she disgraced their family by proclaiming herself to be a lesbian.

Even Eddie hasn’t seen either of them and that’s particularly worrying since the three of them are always together.

Both Steve and Robin come back two weeks later with sunburns and matching tattoos on their wrists. They had been at one of the Harrington vacation homes in Florida getting drunk, checking out girls, and getting tattoos. It’s also when Steve realized he was interested in Eddie and plants a smooch on him as soon as he gets back to see Eddie checking out his ass.

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

a mike that is not a naturally gifted fighter but is naturally the best strategist in the room. a mike that tries to throw a rock and misses by like 6 feet at 13 but can knows how to use leverage to his advantage at 14. a mike that wields a candle holder in the face of danger but stands and faces it nonetheless. a mike that needs to protect his best friend and feels helpless because he can’t shoot a gun or run a mile or throw a rock. a mike that actually Can protect his best friend in other ways but tries so hard to protect him physically. he’s not naturally a good fighter but he will learn. because he loves people so deeply and needs to protect them. he needs them to need him and they need protection, fighting power. so he trains. hard. and in the end he’s one of their best for it. this is the mike wheeler that will lead them into battle wielding a sword by the end of the series. not because that’s who he was born to be but because these are the lengths he will go to for the people he loves.

[thebrainrotsreal]

I demand an AU where Laios' leg gets fucking crunched during the Red Dragon Battle (re-attachment impossible), and Marcille practices the whole necro-magic first by givin' him a new leg! With Red Dragon Blood/Flesh, he also gets put under the same command as Falin, except since it's only a leg, the curse slowly becomes more and more powerful until the eventual transformation above!!! :D AKA Ah Fuck, Took Too Long Overthrowing the Dungeon Lord, Get Monster'd. Lion + Red Dragon, because I like it. Laios would think it's cool, too, so there. The trade of Cool Monster is Sense of Self / Consciousness eroding into nothing (monster body, monster brain), though, so he's basically on an extra timer to stop/overthrow the Dungeon Lord, or experience a kind of death of sorts. Random idea I had to get outta my head, y'know?

[harrywavycurly]

What if it was Eddie who needed reader to be his fake wife?👀♥️♥️

Hiiii babes!!! Ohh love this!! Hope you enjoy this!!💖

“Hey sorry to bother you.” You raise your eyebrow as you feel a hand on your back as a voice pulls your attention away from the drink that’s in your hand. “But could you be my wife for just a few minutes?” You turn around making the hand fall from your back as you take a sip of the drink in your hand. You take the opportunity to look at the man standing in front of you and you can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness as a look of panic takes over his face causing his brown eyes to go wide as he looks over his shoulder quickly before looking back at you.

Before you can say anything you hear a loud laugh coming from the pool tables that are directly behind the nameless man who is standing in front of you. You watch his shoulders slump and his eyes close as he lets out what you can only assume is a sigh of defeat as the laughter gets closer to the two of you. The man stands up straight and puts on what you can clearly tell is a fake smile as he turns around and faces the owner of the laugh.

“Eddie? Oh my god how are you?” You roll your eyes at the how fake the girl’s voice sounds as you watch her open up her arms as if she’s about to lean in for a hug. You quickly finish off your drink and turn and place it on the bar before you step forward and wrap your arm around the middle of the man who you now know is named Eddie making him jump a bit at your touch but when he looks down at you all you have to do is give him a smile and he is quick to wrap his arm around your shoulders pulling you into his side.

“Baby can we go play a game of pool?” You ask as you place your free hand on his chest while you look up at him and you can feel the girl’s eyes on you so you slowly look away from Eddie and over to the girl. “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” You feel the grip on your shoulders tighten as you give the girl a small smile. “How do you know my husband?” You don’t miss the way her eyes go wide at the word husband, you feel Eddie lean down place a closed mouth kiss to the top of your head.

“Uh we uhm-”

“Oh sweetheart this is Chrissy.” You look up at Eddie as he speaks and when he looks down at you all you can do is smile causing his cheeks to turn a light shade of pink as he looks back over to Chrissy. “We dated in high school.” You just nod as you look over at Chrissy who is just awkwardly smiling at the two of you and if you weren’t two drinks in you’d probably feel a little guilty for making her feel so uncomfortable but you didn’t get asked to be her fake wife you got asked to be Eddie’s so you’re going to be the best fake wife you can be.

“Was he this cute in high school?” You hear Eddie laugh as you look back up at him and take your hand off his chest and run in through his hair. “I’ve seen photos of him from back then but I need you to be honest with me….was his hair this nice?” Eddie bites back a laugh as you look over at Chrissy as you play with the ends of Eddie’s hair, twirling it around your fingers.

“Uh-”

“Actually don’t tell me it’ll just make me jealous.” You explain as you remove your hand from his hair and place it back on his chest giving it a pat as Eddie pulls you closer into his side so he can hide his laughter in the crook of your neck making shivers go down your spine as his breath hits your skin.

“Well uh it was nice seeing you again Eddie.” Chrissy’s voice is sweet and her smile is genuine as she looks at Eddie. You watch her smile fade when she realizes he’s not going to drop his hold on you to give her a hug and that’s how you figure out that this girl must’ve either been the one that got away or the one that broke his heart because even though the only thing you know about Eddie is his name you can tell he’s a nice guy. “It was uhm good to uh meet you-”

“Sorry to cut this short but the pool table is free and you know the saying about a happy wife and all that right?” You look behind Chrissy and see a group of men leaving the pool table as Eddie drops his arm from your shoulders as you drop yours from his middle so he can grab your hand.

“Have a nice night.” Is all you say as you look over your shoulder as Eddie leads you to the pool tables leaving Chrissy standing there alone by the bar.

“Holy shit.” Eddie lets out a sigh of relief as he lets go of your hand once he sees Chrissy head off towards her group of friends. “Thank you for that you-”

“We aren’t done yet.” You look Eddie in his eyes and then look over your shoulder so he can see Chrissy standing there with a group of girls as they not so casually look over at the two of you.

“Oh fuck.” You just laugh at his look of annoyance as you take a step closer to him so you can tuck some of his hair behind his ear. “You’re good at this.” He whispers as he places a hand on your hip making you smile.

“I know I’m your wife and everything but what’s our last name?” You ask ignoring his previous statement, Eddie laughs as you place both of your hands on his chest and run them upwards until your arms are loosely wrapped around his neck.

“Munson.” You just nod as Eddie’s other hand also finds its way to your hip giving it a little squeeze.

“Not bad as far as last names go.” You tease making Eddie roll his eyes as he looks over your shoulder to see if Chrissy or any of her friends are looking at the two of you. “Are we good?” You ask as Eddie looks back at you and you raise your eyebrow as he gives you a little smirk.

“Oh we’re more than good sweetheart.” He answers as he leans down and places a kiss to your cheek. “They left.” He adds making you just nod your head as his hands leave your hips.

“This was fun.” Eddie just laughs and nods as you unwrap your arms from around his neck and give his chest a playful pat. “We should do it again sometime.” You reach into your back pocket and pull out your phone, Eddie holds his hand out ready to take it but you hold it to your chest making him raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Who was she? And don’t lie because I was your wife for like five minutes so I can tell when you’re lying.” Eddie just lets out a sigh as you let him take your phone out of your hand.

“She was my girlfriend in high school and she dumped me for someone else and she just kinda broke my heart in the process.” He explains as he types his number into your phone so he doesn’t have to see the sad expression on your face, it’s one he’s used to seeing anytime he tells the story of how he and Chrissy ended things years ago. “But it was a long time ago.” You just nod as he looks at you as he hands you your phone back.

“Well her loss.” Eddie smiles as you slide your phone back into your pocket. “Because now we get to go on a date and maybe one day a few months down the line I won’t have to be the fake Mrs. Munson anymore.” You watch the same smirk he had on his face earlier reappear as you shoot him a little wink before leaning over and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“It would only take a few months?” He questions as you pull away from him and you just shrug playfully before turning around and heading towards the entrance of the bar. “See you tomorrow Mrs. Munson!” You just laugh as you hear his voice shouting at you as you reach the door.

[usedtobecooler]

same character different universe

[curse-of-dming-strahd]

I was trying to explain to my group that Barovia is the whole valley but for some reason the game designers decided the little village at the base of the mountain is also called Barovia and it's confusing and I don't know why they did it

and one of my players just goes, "Oh, like New York, New York."

and I'm more okay with Barovia, Barovia now.

[firnen-the-teragram-teabag]

Things that nobody said until I played D&D part 2

"the pope says 'the most powerful weapon in the world, my son, is the bible gun' and he pulls out the bible gun"

"your racism upsets the stirge so much that it just drops dead"

"explain why we shouldn't kill you right now" "my funky fresh moves"

"wisdom saving throw to not be horny"

"we are distracted by his sweet, sweet nipples"

"you are the Minecraft Alpha to our Minecraft 1.18"

"he's always visually moist"

"can i flirt with the eyes"

"I just casually slip the cake into my hat"

"onwards, to the piss hut!"