#encourage you to do so!! because trust me i want to have everything as accurate as possible. but yeahhh

[jewishvitya]

A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.

So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.

Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.

When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.

One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"

He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."

And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.

I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.

So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.

Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.

But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?

All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.

I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.

This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.

In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.

One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.

Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.

Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."

In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.

On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.

In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.

[anthromimicry]

“ i feel like i’m pulled back in time to when it happened.” @twcfaces :)

in response to the other's words, silence spread throughout the room almost instantaneously, but it was not the kind that was born out of awkwardness or of any sort of malice — it was a quiet sort of understanding that misao was regarding the other with now. it was undeniable that harvey and two-face, as they were ultimately two halves of one whole, had clearly been through something very traumatic as evidenced by the events that harvey (who was seemingly the host of their body from what she'd gathered from their conversation thus far, though she could be wrong) described to her. so it was important to treat the topic with the respect it deserved... and not to immediately jump to saying that he needed help, because that could be misinterpreted as ' there's something wrong with you, ' which was the exact opposite of what those who practice talk therapy should say to their patients.

misao instead wanted to show him compassion (or, at least, as much compassion as she could given her propensity for having to fake empathizing with her patients perhaps more often than she'd like to admit) and so all she did at first was nod to affirm the other that she was indeed listening. the gears in her mind right now were just turning was all, as she tried to find what the best thing to say to him would be in this moment. misao preoccupied herself with pushing the tissues on the table across from them closer to harvey just in case he might need them. and this gave her the time she needed to finally settle on what she should say, her expression remaining neutral besides the blink-and-you'll-miss-it frown that tugged at her lips, ❝ i see. well, thank you for trusting me enough to share such a personal and difficult story. ❞

misao took a moment in order to let everything he said to her set in more and continued, leaning forward to show him yet another sign that she was in fact very attuned to what he was saying, ❝ i am so sorry that you were hurt, harvey. or would you prefer for me to refer to you through plural terms? it seems as if the therapists before me that have treated you have made you aware that you have disassociative identity disorder... but i know that every system's preferences tend to vary whenever it comes to pronouns. so, i thought i should ask. but we do not have to talk about two-face at all during this session if you don't want to or unless he wishes to join us. i am correct with my assumption that i am speaking to harvey, yes? ❞ making a trust her and forming a safe environment for them in her office was absolutely vital to helping them heal. and whenever it came to people with a disassociative disorder, misao felt it was especially important to establish a baseline with them about their system.

she only had what other psychiatrists had said about the two of them to depend upon currently in her notes, after all, and things could always change / be inaccurate. misao cleared her throat as she rolled her pencil in between her hands, ❝ now, please correct me if i am using the wrong terms here, but if you are comfortable with answering... i'd like to ask you whether this is the first time you've experienced such a thing. i mean, having this feeling that you are being brought back in time to when it happened. because i believe that if you have been experiencing these flashbacks to the past in a reoccurring fashion, that there may definitely be more to it than what meets the eye. ❞ misao grabbed something from beneath the table in front of her and it was soon revealed to be a notebook with a pen.

she carefully slid it over to him, wordlessly at first, ❝ i don't know if you are fond of doodling while talking, but i always keep a set of these in my office for those who are. so feel free. and i realize that it can be intimidating to speak about these things to someone, but i promise you that my goal here is to just help you to the best of my ability. ❞ misao offered him a small smile before settling back in her chair.

he, or they, might desire to have some space to process everything. and she was more than willing to give it to them.

[numinously-yours]

Pick a card: From your Soulmate

Happy Friday! Today's reading is a soulmate reading. Your reading includes: Characteristics of your soulmate & a note from them <3

Pile 1: Ace of Pentacles

I’ve been kicked down in life, but each time I get back up the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter. I have been trying hard to trust in the universe because I know it’s bringing me everything I could want – and that’s you. You are such a compassionate, beautiful, smart, and wonderful person pile 1. You know how they say to never stop dating the person you’re with? That is my plan with you – to woo you forever. You deserve to be wined and dined. I hope to show you each day how much you mean to me. I’ll bring you flowers. I’ll give you shoulder rubs. I’ll tell you silly jokes just to make you laugh. I will spend our time together making sure you never feel unloved. You are my manifestation and I can’t wait to be with you.

Pile 2: The Lovers

Your love is a breath of fresh air. Being with you brings me mental clarity. It makes me understand that the way I’ve been treated in relationships up until now were not an accurate representation of a healthy relationship. Gosh, it is so refreshing! You may find when we begin our relationship that I am hesitant to make big decisions. Because you are showing me something I’ve never known before, it is going to take a little time for me to be convinced that you’re not going away. But let me tell you, once I am shown time and time again that you show up, it is game over (in the best way). The way that we align will take away all the doubts I’ve ever had about love. And I won’t be able to thank you enough.

Pile 3: The Hanged Man

A lot of my life has been about competition; mainly, competition with myself. I have a need to prove myself. I want to be the best at what I do. And I know that that mindset isn’t always the most productive. With you in my life, soulmate, I am reminded to pause. I am reminded that there are more perspectives out there from my own and that I’m allowed to let go of what I think SHOULD be to open room for what IS. You’re really going to allow me to look at my shadow self and understand why I have this need to be better than the previous version of me. You’re going to help me see the restraints that I’m binding myself with. My competitive nature will always be a part of me but I’m looking forward to the time in my life where I can experience joy just being who I am, where I don’t feel like I need to be constantly winning. My life with you is the ultimate prize.

Pile 4: Two of Cups

I’ve held myself back for much of my life with the fear that I don’t have the tools to succeed. I always think that if I just had that one thing – more money, more confidence, more time – that then I can take the plunge. At times, I also find myself wanting to do everything for everyone. If I put effort into one thing, I feel like I am neglecting the other, and then I stop doing either. I want to be the best RIGHT NOW, no matter how unrealistic. And then you came into the picture. My inspiration, my muse, my reminder that each day is a clean slate. Not only do I know we will grow together, but I know that I will grow personally because of you. You never fail to encourage me to follow my dreams. You have a way of reminding me that, even if I “fail”, I can always get something out of a situation which means I didn’t fail at all. I really hope I can do the same thing for you because you deserve the same, if not more, of the energy you give to me.

[ryker-writes]

Could I request the dorm leaders with an s/o who's a zoologist?

of course darling! I don't know much about zoology or the profession, but I tried to look up what they do online so I hope it's accurate and to your liking <3

Request rules and Masterlists

Riddle:

he finds it very interesting

Riddle has a basic understanding of many animals, but he's never seen most of them in real life due to his mother keeping him inside most of the time

so he does like to learn more about them, but he loves even more to see them

he's a big animal lover

please show him your animals

he wants to learn how to take care of them any any other animals

you have his complete trust when it comes to taking care of Heartslabyul's animals

in fact he trusts you more than most of the students at the school

Leona:

Leona really likes it

both the Afterglow Savanah and Savanaclaw are pretty much full of beastmen so there can be a lot of animal behavior around you two

he likes not having to explain every little thing about something specific type of beastman do

but this also means that if anyone else doesn't understand beastmen things, he's going going to tell them to ask you instead

he also just really likes hearing you talk about something you like

so he'll ask you about a specific animal thing just to get you talking about it, and he'll just lay there quietly listening

it's his favorite way to fall asleep

if you bring animals near him, he won't even be disturbed

he just kinda vibes with them

Azul:

he has mixed feelings about it

don't get me wrong he loves you and your passion for zoology and animals

and he fully supports you when it comes to that

his condition is that there can't be any animals in the lounge

and he gets real nervous if there's a big animal near him in general (especially if it's an animal that eats octopus)

he also just worries about animals ruining his paperwork or getting into his things

but outside of all that, he fully supports you and even encourages you to tell him about it

he might even find inspiration to have events in the lounge based of different types of animals and ecosystems you tell him about

he may ask you about certain animals like lions...you know just incase he needs to make a deal with someone

Kalim:

asks you questions all the time

Kalim loves animals a lot and would always love to learn more about them

he'll pay to have an animal in Scarabia for a day just to ask you everything he possibly can about it

as you tell him about the animal and the environment it lives in, he's trying so hard to retain all that information

he's totally going to try and get animals to live in Scarabia for you

and he wants to use the animals that go together in their ecosystems...but he may have trouble remembering

don't be upset he's really trying

will ask you again about the ecosystem with some specific animal and run of with that information

next thing you know, Scarabia is completely filled with animals of all kinds because he wanted to create one giant ecosystem

Vil:

he thinks it's wonderful

Vil is someone who can truly appreciate your passion and love for animals

and he fully supports it too

as long as any animals you bring are kept under control

he would still love to see the animals and listen to anything you have to say about them

he even appreciates the beauty of both the animals and their ecosystems

he would love to do something like a photoshoot with some animals in their natural habitats

and anytime he's doing a photoshoot/acting with animals, he always calls you to ask about the specifics of the animals he's going to be working with

if you trust the animals, he will too without hesitation

Idia:

Idia really likes animals, especially cats

animals are just so much better than people

but that doesn't mean he'll just accept any big animal being near him

if it's something small like a ferret or something it's fine

but please don't bring in anything bigger than a fox or he'll get real nervous

he will allow the animals in his room as long as they are behaved and you can promise they won't break his things

if he's spending time with an animal or just being near one, he wants to know about it first and will ask you about it

Idia is another one who likes to listen to you talk while he does his own thing

so he may ask you about an animal while he's playing games

even though he's playing video games, he's listening to you and taking in everything you tell him

Malleus:

he finds it fascinating

most of the animals Malleus has seen are the ones that hang around Silver

...every other animal is scared of him and usually runs away when he gets near

Malleus supports your interest in zoology, but he wishes he could be more involved without scaring the animals

even if he knows all about some of the animals and their lifestyle, he's still going to ask you just because he loves hearing you talk about it

and he would love to show you the rarer types of animals he knows about and some that have gone extinct

do you want to learn about dragons-

[mod-kyoko]

hello :) i loved your latest byakuya hc post so much 😭 it seems so accurate ykwim

so... could i req byakuya nagito and kokichi w an s/o who's quite closed off about everything (trust issues yk) and has social anxiety? thanks <3

accuracy is something really important to me when i'm writing so if you think it was accurate then i'm so glad

and i'm so excited for a nagito request i haven't gotten one in a while

byakuya, nagito, kokichi with a socially anxious s/o

byakuya is not the type to nag you to tell him what's going on

he's such a "sit in comfortable silence" type of guy

because of your social anxiety, combined with his general aversion to people, the two of you don't go out often

he is perfectly content with you entertaining each other in your own home

but some times you can't avoid going out. errands and all that jazz

and usually he would go by himself and let you stay home, but this time he really needed your help with what he was doing

he knows how being around lots of people affects you, and while he can't relate, he can sort of imagine how it feels. you're afraid of people, he is annoyed by them. so you both kind of have something in common: you love avoiding social situations

anyway, when you're in public he always makes sure to stand near you and never lets the two of you get separated

if you were to end up separated, he would internally panic

one of the only times he ever experiences genuine anxiety: when you are left alone in a stressful environment

it took a long time to get you to open up to him. not that he was trying, he preferred to let it happen naturally so it was genuine.

and he is so glad you did because now he knows what kind of situations to avoid, and he is perfectly content with being a social hermit

nagito likes(?) being around certain people generally, but he also doesn't mind being alone, so wherever you go, he goes, and if you want to be a hermit, he wants to be a hermit

it was actually really easy for you to open up to him purely because he is so self-deprecating that there was no way he would judge you for anything

from time to time he will encourage you to go out and face your fear because yknow, it's the hopeful thing to do. then he'll apologize because you probably don't want advice from a lowlife like him (his words not mine)

anyway, when you two go out he's never afraid to hold your hand or bring you close to him

(i think nagito is so old fashioned in the way that he feels modern flirting and stuff can be too offensive or disrespectful so he likes to court ppl he is attracted to. we need to bring back courting pls)

so in public he generally has his hand on the small of your back, or intertwined in yours, wherever you want it to be

he's so damn intuitive. if he ever notices you are uncomfortable in a certain environment (and he will always notice), he will find a way to get out of there

kokichi is a very free spirit, you can't tie him down

he's always ready to go out and do things

being around people is his thing, he's hella extroverted

so he's always begging you to do things with him, and he just can't grasp how you are so anxious around people

he asked you why because he was genuinely trying to understand, and at first you wouldn't really talk about it, so he gave up

it might seem like he's annoyed about it sometimes, but he's just adjusting to being with someone who lives a lifestyle so different to his

eventually he will come around. and, like nagito, he will encourage you to go out and fight off that social anxiety

he often invites friends over so you can socialize in a comfortable environment and get used to the presence of others

when you two go out and you worry you're being stared at, he'll purposely do silly things to embarrass himself and take the attention off you. he's such a goof

and if he notices you're getting uncomfortable, he will get you out of there, find someplace quiet, and make sure you're okay. he'll also give you a ton of kisses!

and if for some reason any person is ever bothering you more than usual, he'll weird them out by barking or some shit so they'll go away (he would literally do this don't tell me he wouldn't)

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

bro damn byakuya's got my heart rn

i used to write kokichi well but it's been forever since i played the game so now i barely remember what he's like. looks like i got homework to do augh

-mod kyoko

[fangirlingpuggle]

I hope your brain does keep up! Dad chase is iconic!

I love the Omi and Jack swap AU so much! Is there anything else you tell us about it! Particularly about the other monks or Wuya lol

Thank you! Yeah Dad Chase is the best!

Other thoughts on alignment switch AU

The other monks are much more proficient with their elements, as trained by Wuya mostly (Who I head canon was a previous dragon of Earth) and she knows how those elements work.

They also have more background on Wu and their fighting styles are more honed as she is a very hands on teacher.

She also ends up caring for the kids (Though she will deny it when asked and claim this is souly out of spite so they'll be better than Dashi and so she can rub it into Dashi's face she sees him) she also denies she is Xiaolin claiming I'm still Heylin or neutral party.

Wuya also ends up with Dojo hanging around her a lot and they talk about Dashi a lot. She spends way to much time sometimes looking at the sands of time or the puzzle box.

She trains Clay a lot them having the same element she also says he is the one voice of reason and is she's gone he's in charge.

Kimiko and her training is brutal and everything is on fire they have far to much fun. Kimiko also made Wuya go on shopping spree when Wuya wanted more modern clothes. (Wuya also insists on spa days occasional especially after certain Wu hunts end up with them battered and bruised and almost eaten by some monster, all the dragons come along with this) She's not making them stay in the temple all the time she's letting them be kids and have fun... well Except Jack at time because Jack's idea fun is trying to make shen gong wu and she's trying to stop him. (He's like the second coming of Dashi and this world does not need another)

Raimundo and her get along very well, she very much encourages his plans and to be sneaky. They also have the same sense of humor.

Jack she calls her problem child but fondly because he is so much like Dashi at times, though much more dorky (and she didn't think that was possible) also not as brave, which is a good thing because that means he's not trying to break the universe.

Wuya has also moved some the old monks rooms to give kids more space as in her words 'those scrolls are full of shit anyway I was there and only 12% of this is accurate, i'm not teaching these brats that stupid stuff no wonder I almost took over the world your all idiots'

She also lets them all have Wu on them and not have it all stuck in the vault all the time. The more practice the better besides keeping all the Wu in one place makes it way easier to steal trust me I have stolen so much stuff.

Jack has made Jackbots that protect the temple and the Wu specially so the temple is harder to break into (Chase and Omi still mange through of course). He also makes robots for them to train and proactive against plus uses his metal powers to alter them mid battle and practice his own powers. Wuya also has stone golems around put they aren't as powerful as less Heylin power but they are good bouncers for most enemies.

Dojo and Jack are normally together and are the cowardly duo, they will do a scooby doo is never a monster and run to find Clay or Wuya.

All training sessions end with a lot more property damage (which luckily the jack bots and mini versions of Wuya's stone golems can fix)

Not only Fung but most of the other monks have left for pilgrimages or just retiring. (They're pretty sure they saw some in Vegas when they were there to pick up a shen gong wu)

[panlight]

This is unrelated to anything, but my favorite thing about Carlisle is that whatever Edward tells Bella/the reader about him is wrong in every way. Like, Edward thinks he’s damned so the implication is that Carlisle, a former priest, thinks the same and encourages Edward to believe that, but this is disputed in New Moon. In Breaking Dawn, Edward is convinced that Carlisle would forcibly abort Bella’s baby if it weren’t for Rosalie, but Carlisle confirms he would never do such a thing to Jacob.

Even when Edward shares details of their backstories, he just glosses over crucial information pertaining to Carlisle and it is so funny. Edward mentions Carlisle spent a few decades with the Volturi and this is treated like it’s nothing. Edward completely cuts Elizabeth out of the story, making it seem like Carlisle chose him because he thought he was special, and we only learn about Elizabeth from Carlisle himself. Granted, this could be because SMeyer didn’t come up with that until New Moon, but it does make me reevaluate Edward’s testimony on… anything. I know human memories are blurry to vampires, but they’re not erased like Alice’s were because she was subjected to brain injury inducing electroshock therapy. So it feels like Edward’s exclusion of Elizabeth was deliberate. Lastly, Edward’s disdain for human-blood-drinking vampires and his assumption that his family has equal disregard for them is especially ironic when all of those human-blood-drinking vampires who come to the Cullens’ aid in Breaking Dawn are Carlisle’s besties.

It makes me question Edward’s thoughts on everything, and I feel like the fandom takes a lot of what he says as absolute truth (such as Rosalie being meant for him or Rosalie wanting Bella to die so she could raise the baby) because he’s a mind reader, but his perception and misunderstanding of Carlisle, his beloved father and oldest companion, throws that out the window.

Oh yes, this! I used to say "Edward is not a good storyteller" because he leaves out crucial details all the time. And whether that's a conscious choice on his part to leave things out or he's Just a Teenager who makes himself the focus of everything, I don't know. (Or, as you suggest, that SM didn't flesh out the stories until later so Edward was giving accurate information in the moment but the stories changed).

The other two examples are Esme and Rosalie's backstories, too. With Esme, he makes it sound like, again, Carlisle just found this random dying person and chose to save her; he completely leaves out they had met before. And with Rosalie he makes it sound like the only reason Carlisle 'saved' her was so Edward could have a girlfriend. But when you hear the story from Rosalie's POV it's not like that, and ROSALIE of all people would not be trying to paint Carlisle in a more positive light, so I trust her more. Rosalie talks about hearing him say how terrible what happened to her was, how he couldn't just leave her, what a waste of a young life, etc and that she was free to go off on her own if that's what she wanted. Absolutely nothing about matchmaking or suggesting they get together. Even the guide says it was in 'the back of his mind' and while "omg this poor girl, I can't leave her here, and hey maybe she and Edward will hit it off if she decides to stay with us" isn't super great, it's not nearly so creepy as "here Edward, I found a wife for you" as Edward sort of implies.

And I do often see fandom/fanfic taking Edward's word for it; Carlisle gets a lot of flack for 'changing Rosalie for Edward' and being willing to abort Bella's pregnancy against her will, but when those incidents are seen from the POV's of other characters, Edward's understanding of those moments is called into question.

[techtakesoff]

this is kind of vague, but do you have any ideas about a dersite breath player? breath feels like a pretty prospitian aspect, at least to me, (and only prospit dreamers have been breath players in canon which doesn't help) so i'm having trouble thinking of ways their traits could intersect. the only idea i have is that doing what you want (breath) is sometimes not doing what authority wants you to do (derse) but that's such a shallow interpretation

A way I like to interpret lunar sway is that a player's dreaming moon affects which traits of their aspect they think are "good" and which they think are "bad."

Accordingly, the player's personality and actions will tend to lean in a way that emphasizes the "good" traits and minimizes the "bad" ones, unless they are intentionally playing a villainous role.

Prospitians, in general, favor traits that have immediate benefits, especially when those traits benefit them personally, and those which encourage action and creativity.

Dersites prefer to "play the long game," favoring traits that play defensively, pay out benefits over time, and focus on introspection and self-awareness.

For example, consider Vriska and Rose: both Light players but with opposite sways. The Light aspect is about knowledge, luck, and notoriety. Vriska, a Prospit dreamer, favors the elements of luck and notoriety, but finds academia boring. She cares a lot more about a story being entertaining, and about making her seem important, than about it being accurate.

Rose, conversely, hates relying on luck and puts a lot of emphasis on acquiring knowledge, even at personal cost to herself.

Breath is about freedom, change, and detachment. It's true that Breath and Prospit sway mesh together especially well, but Derse sway brings out some really interesting things about this aspect. A Dersite hero of Breath can be frighteningly self-focused; they are an unstoppable force who will take advantage of every opportunity to get what they want.

Nothing deters them from their own whims; criticisms from their friends, society, laws, or perhaps even the physical rules of the universe -- they float above all of these, untouched. They believe in the adage of Murphy's law, "whatever can happen will happen," and seek to make sure that the things they want to happen are the *only* things that *can* happen.

If they spot a weak point where something could go off course, they will close it off. In this vein, when their plans do come to fruition, it will seem like they were really the only possible course of action all along.

They are not as fickle as their Prospitian counterparts, nor do they find randomness and unpredictability fun or comforting, but they fully embrace the inevitability of change and are quick on the draw to make sure things change in a way they find favorable.

At extremes they might act drastically under the assumption that the ends will justify the means -- even if they aren't entirely sure what exactly the ends will be. For all their plotting and scheming, the Dersite Breath player doesn't actually have a final destination in mind; their goals tend to escalate exponentially and there is always a "next step" waiting for them.

In their personal relationships, a Dersite Breath player is the kind of person that everybody *thinks* they know a lot about, but in actuality this person is very careful about what information they give out. No one would suspect them of keeping secrets because they seem very open and talkative, but this is a precisely crafted facade.

The Dersite Breath player is very savvy and pays attention to who they're talking to, and will create a new version of themselves for every situation. Everything you know about this person, you know because they *want* you to know.

This makes them an impenetrable fortress to their enemies, but sort of difficult to be friends with. They struggle to trust others, and make themselves deal with all their heavy emotions alone out of fear of vulnerability. If they decide a relationship isn't working out, they will cut it off instead of trying to fix it.

Their social circle is a mile wide but an inch deep -- they prefer to have lots of casual friends and contacts, but shy away from forming strong attachments to any of them. They don't like other people trying to take care of them and prefer to do everything themselves in order to minimize uncontrolled variables.

At points they might seem cold and uncaring, tending to view people materialistically in terms of what purpose they can serve or what they are "worth" in a given situation. Of course, the player's class will influence a lot of this information; which parts they act on and which parts they suppress or hide, the particular decisions they make, all of these depend on class and their unique personality.

I think this is a pretty good foundation on which to build a character, though.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 16

Catherine’s expectations of pleasure from her visit in Milsom Street were so very high that disappointment was inevitable

Jane Austen is killing it with opening lines. And such a universal truth! Also, General Tilney turns his children into different people and that is a CRIME. He stops Henry Tilney from talking! Jail for the General, jail for 1000 years!

Isabella is not a very focused con artist, which is a big reason why I find it difficult to hate her. Up until this chapter, she's happily encouraged Catherine to pursue Henry Tilney, but now she's on the attack. Either it was too much work to do both her and her brother's schemes or she was trusting John's ability to seduce Catherine, but Lucy Steele or Lady Susan would not have dropped the ball on this! Her sudden attacks on the Tilney family become so much less effective because they are too much, too late.

Of all things in the world inconstancy is my aversion. - Oh Isabella, you could not be more ridiculous! Also, does she really buy her brother's BS? It sounds like it: "John thinks very well of him, and John’s judgment—”

Captain Tilney has finally arrived and Catherine is like, "Meh." She guesses that other people might find him handsome, most likely, but he's clearly not as awesome as Henry. He also is against dancing! Nothing to like here (except the career in the military, his massive future wealth, his looks...)

This line, my heart:

listening with sparkling eyes to everything he said; and, in finding him irresistible, becoming so herself.

The two people who have protested against dancing end up dancing together, THIS IS A CLUE CATHERINE! But no

right over her head once more.

Catherine does some very Isabella-esq time measuring: Her suspense was of full five minutes’ duration; and she was beginning to think it a very long quarter of an hour but since she is experiencing real anxiety, I won't judge her for it.

Oh man this line is pure gold:

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.

Again, we can see clearly why Henry likes Catherine

“Well, then, I only meant that your attributing my brother’s wish of dancing with Miss Thorpe to good nature alone convinced me of your being superior in good nature yourself to all the rest of the world.”

Now we get down the money, James is promised a living of £400/year and an estate of near equal value upon his father's death. This would total about £800/year and is a good income! Of course, the first few years on only £400 might be a little tight, but you don't have children yet at that point. However, this is clearly far below what Isabella Thorpe expected!

We also learn, Catherine really had no idea how wealthy she was:

Catherine, whose expectations had been as unfixed as her ideas of her father’s income, and whose judgment was now entirely led by her brother, felt equally well satisfied, and heartily congratulated Isabella on having everything so pleasantly settled.

It is interesting, Catherine is kind of in the dark about herself, in addition to most other things. James it seems had a more clear idea, the Thorpes erroneously thought James and Catherine were rich, while the Tilney children seem to have accurately assessed Catherine's wealth and status, enough at least to be surprised by their father's interest in her!

It's interesting how Austen sometimes writes very similar lines but the sentiment comes off very differently. Here is a section from Persuasion where Charles wishes his father gave them more money:

They were always perfectly agreed in the want of more money, and a strong inclination for a handsome present from his father; but here, as on most topics, he had the superiority, for while Mary thought it a great shame that such a present was not made, he always contended for his father’s having many other uses for his money, and a right to spend it as he liked.

And Mrs. Thorpe/Isabella speaking with very similar words, but almost opposite sentiments:

"Mr. Morland has behaved so very handsome, you know. I always heard he was a most excellent man; and you know, my dear, we are not to suppose but what, if you had had a suitable fortune, he would have come down with something more, for I am sure he must be a most liberal-minded man.” “Nobody can think better of Mr. Morland than I do, I am sure. But everybody has their failing, you know, and everybody has a right to do what they like with their own money.”

Charles does actually believe that his father has a right to his own money, the Thorpes not so much! They also are implying that Mr. Morland is specifically withholding money from his son because Isabella is poor and is therefore a greedy, calculating person himself. But no, this is a very good deal for James, which the narrator has taken pains to point out, especially since Mr. Morland has 10 children to provide for!

Isabella Thorpe lying through her teeth:

I hate money; and if our union could take place now upon only fifty pounds a year, I should not have a wish unsatisfied.

As John Mullen says, those who claim to hate money in Austen love it the most!

I think it's worth pointing out, Catherine is getting very close to the truth about Isabella in this chapter and she feels very uncomfortable in her suspicions, but now Isabella is engaged to James. Just like Catherine is persuaded to find John Thorpe better than he is because of peer pressure, she now is being encouraged to think better of Isabella as James's choice of a wife. Maintaining family unity does seem to be a very high value in this era and an engagement is almost as good as a marriage now that Mr. Morland has approved. So despite her uncomfortable feelings, Catherine has motive to believe the secondary explanation for Isabella's reaction to the wedding settlement.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Yves Kloss - Act 2 Ch. 13 - Summary with Premium Story

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. Also, feel free to ignore my random commentary. I know this Master List is delayed, but eh, it was my first translation project, and I had no idea of what I was doing.

Please note: Only his common route and Dramatic route are translated/summarized.

Alt translations are marked as ///

T/L notes are notated at the bottom of the post with***

Emma can’t bring herself to finish what she’s started. Horst encourages her to plunge the dagger into her neck. Yves yells at her. 

Yves: Do you think I would be happy about your worthless sacrifice? If you kill yourself I will hate you forever!!!

Emma knows she’s having a hard time finishing what she started because deep down she knows it’s the wrong choice.

Emma: I couldn’t be happy without you. But, if  I sacrifice my life, I would also make you unhappy.

Yves smiles at her and says she’s really slow to notice these things. Emma rethinks her actions and decides that she needs to trust Yves to resolve this. He never loses even when he’s in a tight spot.

Emma: I believe in the one I love….Yves. Because faith will help us both.

She throws the dagger to the ground and glares at Horst.

Emma: I can’t die. I can’t. So that Yves and I can both live together.

Yves: That’s right. You’re finally coming back to your senses, aren’t you?

Yves and Emma stare at each other. Blood runs down her neck and a sword threatens his wound covered body. Horst is pissed.

Horst: I see. If that’s your answer then I don’t blame you. It makes me laugh to think that you two will live together when it’s your choice that’s killed him! 

Horst moves to sink the blade into Yves’ neck. Emma forces herself not to look away and watches Yves as he grabs the blade with his hand and forcefully stops Horst. Yves grits his teeth in pain and blood drips to the ground, but his blue eyes are focused with intent and this causes Horst to furrow his brows with concern. 

Yves: I will not let you do what you want anymore.

Horst: Have you forgotten the situation you’re in?

Yves: ARGH!

Emma: Yves!

Horst withdrew his sword and stabbed Yves in the shoulder again. Emma silences a scream and she notices that Yves is grabbing the blade again calmly. Blood is pouring from his wounds.

Emma: Stop it! Stop it!

Yves: It’s ok, Emma. 

Though his face is contorted with pain, his eyes are fierce and filled with fighting spirit.

Yves: As long as you’re with me, I’ll never lose.

Horst’s face becomes dismayed when the blade Yves is holding won’t budge.

Horst: Stupid…….where are you getting this strength?! Let go….!!!

Each time he tried to yank the sword away more blood flowed from Yves’ hand, but he never dropped his gaze from Horst. 

Yves: I can’t understand the grief of someone you love being taken from you in the truest sense. It must be unimaginable. The one who carries the blood of the family who took your loved one is right in front of you. You can’t stand being alive anymore, can you? More than anything else, you can’t allow me to have someone that I care about.

Horst: If you wish to apologize to me, then die. My life would be a little better off! 

Yves: I’m sorry, I can’t die because I would inflict the same pain upon Emma that you feel. And I don’t want you to be guilty of anymore crimes. We want to stop you.

Horst: Shut up….shut up, shut up, shut up. The Kloss family is nonsense!

While Horst tries to pull the sword from Yves again, Emma uses this to her advantage and runs  her body into Horst’s body. The impact of their collision causes Horst to let go of the sword, but as soon as he repositioned himself he reached out for Emma. Emma prepares herself to be hit, but Yves manages to yank her back with incredible force. 

Yves: Idiot! But thank you.

Yves stands in front of Emma before Horst with more blood seeping out of his injuries. 

Horst: This time….die. All of you!

Yves: I’ve said many times that we don’t have the desire to die…..you need to cool down a bit.

He side steps Horst’s attack and fires back with a sharp kick to the stomach. Horst falls to his knees with the heavy blow. Immediately, Yves ties Horst’s hands behind his back. Horst curses at him saying he’d rather be guilty of killing Yves than suffer humiliation of being killed by him.

Yves: I won’t kill you. If I kill you now then another kind of hatred will be born. Your sentence will be for the people of your country to decide. If I were to judge you based on my personal feelings that would also be a diplomatic issue.

Horst: You…..why….I don’t understand.

Just as it seemed Horst lost his will to fight the bushes rustle.

Leon: There you are. (Thanks for joining the party, bruh 🙄)

Yves & Emma: Leon! 

Leon: You’re covered in wounds. If Ragna sees you like this he’ll faint. I’m glad I found you though. 

Yves: Thanks, me too. 

Just as they are about to leave Yves harshly calls Emma’s name, and he chastises her for what she did with the dagger. Yves tells her that will not allow anyone or anything take her from him, including herself. He starts his usual sniping and Emma can tell that he’s back to his normal self. She starts to cry and apologizes. Yves doesn’t know whether to be comforted, angry or saddened by this. He wipes her tears and smiles at her. Ragna appears and Yves has Ragna take Emma to a tree to rest as he gives Leon instructions. He walks back to Emma to leave with her when he passes out due to the severe amount of blood loss.

They decide to take Yves back to the inn to be treated. He’s alive, but pale and unconscious. They found out that the inn’s couple falsely fed Yves information about Horst visiting the abandoned village because Horst threatened to kill their child if they did not comply.

Despite Leon’s behest for Emma to get rest she stays by Yves’ side and talks to him until he finally wakes up. 

Yves: If you squeeze my hand that tightly then it’ll be hard to let go.

Emma: Yves!

*Premium Story: The Wounded King Seeks Love* 

As if waking from the dead, Yves wakes up and greets Emma. 

Yves: Good morning, Emma. 

Emma: Yes….yea. Good morning, Yves.

She wells up with tears.

Emma: How are you feeling? Do you need anything? 

Yves: I’m fine. It’s just hard to move with all the bandages. 

Em: Are you really alright? 

Yves: Do you really think I’m going to make a fool of myself just to make you feel insecure? And even if I did, you’d know it in a heartbeat. (Yep, he’s fine ☺️)

Emma: I know everything about you, Yves.

After the couple hug and cry, they both fall asleep out of pure exhaustion. In the middle of the night Leon open the door to check on them and he smiles at them cuddled together 🥹

[Previous] [Next]

[cleolinda]

Varney the Vampire: Chapter 13

Chapter 12: 4900 words about paintings oh and also we shot a vampyre

This chapter is roughly 4300 words, and the only reason I haven't lost my will to blog is that I have a much shorter chapter to look forward to. Also, this one is incredible.

Chapter XIII.

THE OFFER FOR THE HALL. -- THE VISIT TO SIR FRANCIS VARNEY. -- THE STRANGE RESEMBLANCE. -- A DREADFUL SUGGESTION.

I. The morning after

The squad can't find hide nor hair of the vampyre outside on the estate grounds, except some blood outside the window where Flora shot him, which is not the most recent time he was shot (by Charles Holland) nor the first time he was shot (by Henry). Swiss cheese has fewer holes than this guy. :[

Flora's brothers, fiancé, and kind-of uncle try to tell her that her fiancé was just firing a warning shot, you know, through the glass of her bedroom window, as you do, and everything is fine. She does not believe it, "only sighed deeply, and wept." Beautiful day, though:

The birds sang their pleasant carols beneath the window. The sweet, deep-coloured autumnal sun shone upon all objects with a golden lustre; and to look abroad, upon the beaming face of nature, no one could for a moment suppose, except from sad experience, that there were such things as gloom, misery, and crime, upon the earth.

I quote this partly because I'm curious as to whether James Malcolm Rymer will forget that he said it's autumn.

II. Classism for some reason

A female servant brings Henry (Flora's elder brother and the head of the Bannerworth household, if you're just joining us) a letter. That's the only real important development here, but Rymer blows a few hundred words on a woman who is "one of these who were always armed at all points for a row, and she had no notion of concluding any engagement, of any character whatever, without some disturbance." All I see is a worker who "only comed here by the day" and wants her pay so she can be done with these people who keep shooting vampyres in the middle of the night:

"I can't stay in the family as is so familiar with all sorts o' ghostesses: I ain't used to such company."

"What does I mean!" said the woman, "why, sir, if it's all the same to you, I don't myself come of a wampyre family, and I don't choose to remain in a house where there is sich things encouraged. That's what I means, sir."

Listen, maybe "ghostesses" is an accurate rendition of a working-class dialect. I have no idea where in Britain this is supposed to be taking place; I've seen the v-to-w thing in many 1800s works, I don't know. All I know is, Rymer likes to ride this particular hobbyhorse as hard and often as possible, in an extremely condescending way, and he informs us that this woman is spoiling for a fight even as [footage not found]. This scene seems to mostly be a comic interlude that portrays Henry as a put-upon saint. However, there is a major character coming up who talks like this 24/7, and Rymer clearly loves him, and I seem to remember that I kind of did too. It's an aspect to keep an eye on.

III. The letter

Now, remember, way back in the sixth chapter, the Bannerworth family was fielding an offer from some unnamed rando, through their solicitor, to buy Bannerworth Hall. Having been rebuffed then, he's back with a direct offer. As it turns out, he's also the new neighbor who committed the grave faux pas of, uh, expressing sympathy. The letter, which I reproduce here in full, says:

Dear Sir, As a neighbour, by purchase of an estate contiguous to your own, I am quite sure you have excused, and taken in good part, the cordial offer I made to you of friendship and service some short time since; but now, in addressing to you a distinct proposition, I trust I shall meet with an indulgent consideration, whether such a proposition be accordant with your views or not. What I have heard from common report induces me to believe that Bannerworth Hall cannot be a desirable residence for yourself, or your amiable sister. If I am right in that conjecture, and you have any serious thought of leaving the place, I would earnestly recommend you, as one having some experience in such descriptions of property, to sell it at once. Now the proposition with which I conclude this letter is, I know, of a character to make you doubt the disinterestedness of such advice; but that it is disinterested, nevertheless, is a fact of which I can assure my own heart, and of which I beg to assure you. I propose, then, should you, upon consideration, decide upon such a course of proceeding, to purchase of you the Hall. I do not ask for a bargain on account of any extraneous circumstances which may at the present time depreciate the value of the property, but I am willing to give a fair price for it. Under these circumstances, I trust, sir, that you will give a kindly consideration to my offer, and even if you reject it, I hope that, as neighbours, we may live on in peace and amity, and in the interchange of those good offices which should subsist between us. Awaiting your reply, Believe me to be, dear sir, Your very obedient servant, FRANCIS VARNEY.

ah shit y'all let's fucking GOOOOOO

Clasping his hands, then, behind his back, a favourite attitude of his when he was in deep contemplation, [Henry] paced to and fro in the garden for some time in deep thought. "How strange," he muttered. "It seems that every circumstance combines to induce me to leave my old ancestral home. It appears as if everything now that happened had that direct tendency. What can be the meaning of all this?"

There's a 1935 Bela Lugosi film called Mark of the Vampire that has an off-brand Dracula ("Count Mora") and his spooky daughter who (spoiler!) are actually actors hired to smoke out a murderer. (It was made only four years after Dracula, and with the same director, which really shores up the assumption that this will only be more of the same, just with the serial numbers filed off. It's very effective.) And this is what I thought of around this point in Varney, because Henry, more than once, will lead us to ask whether the vampyre attacks are just a hoax to force the Bannerworths to sell their ancestral home to an interested party. Maybe a relative of some sort, based on his resemblance to the family portrait, wants to get the Hall for himself. And on one hand, yes, the family is being constantly harassed by someone, a person who is earthly enough that they can't make a clean getaway over a wall, and the situation is now untenable.

On the other hand, you are asking me to believe that some mundane person coveting this mansion is so committed to the bit that he would actually bite Flora, leaving her and everything else covered in blood—we witnessed this happen. We were told that he had "fangs," not normal, scheming house-buyer teeth. Within the story, this happened. You are telling me that he would be willing to get shot, in the 1800s before surgeons even washed their hands—three? four? times now. He somehow vanishes instantly every time he's playing ghost at Charles Holland's door or getting capped outside a window. You are telling me that some normal mortal dude could or would do all of this?

Of course, it could be a little bit of both: an actual vampyre running a harassment campaign. Rymer really likes to play both—all—potential sides of a situation, and I can't tell if he just forgets that he absolutely made clear that Varney is a real vampire, or he just wants to run off with a particular idea right now and that's what we're doing. What're you gonna do, go find the penny paper from three months ago and check? It reminds me a lot of playing with my nephew—just making it up as you go along, going with whatever idea will keep a young child engaged, and he's in kindergarten, so who cares if it makes sense? Maybe the six-year-olds Rymer knew just had far more expansive vocabularies.

IV. Considering the offer

Whatever may truly be going on, Henry asks his sort-of-uncle Mr. Marchdale what he should do, and Marchdale comes up with some surprisingly practical advice: why don't you just rent the Hall to this rando for a year and see how it goes?

"Ay, and it might, with very great promise and candour, be proposed to this very gentleman, Sir Francis Varney, to take it for one year, to see how he likes it before becoming the possessor of it. Then if he found himself tormented by the vampyre, he need not complete the purchase, or if you found that the apparition followed you from hence, you might yourself return, feeling that perhaps here, in the spots familiar to your youth, you might be most happy, even under such circumstances as at present oppress you." "Most happy!" ejaculated Henry. "Perhaps I should not have used that word."

POINTS:

"Ejaculate" was a common synonym for "exclaim"; you see it frequently throughout older books. This is standard and unremarkable.

The word Marchdale should not have used is "happy."

No. No, you should not have used that word.

lmao

Henry then confers with his family, which is a considerate thing for a Head of the Household to do; we don't really hear anyone's opinion but Flora's, and she admits that she wants to get the fuck out of their beloved childhood home ASAP, as well she might, being the one who actually gets attacked. Henry is sad that she never mentioned this before; Flora says that she's hardly had any time to think, and also, she knows how much Henry loves the Hall. I don't know if Rymer just wanted some comic relief/space filler earlier, or if he intentionally had that incident with the unnamed servant to show how obliging and saintly Flora is in comparison. Love yourself for once, Flora, I'm putting that into the universe for you.

V. Interview with the vampyre

So now, Henry and Marchdale spend hundreds of words trooping out to the grand estate recently purchased by the neighbor they haven't met yet, one Sir Francis Varney. A servant bids them enter over the course of several sentences, until finally,

Henry and Marchdale followed the man up a flight of stone stairs, and then they were conducted through a large apartment into a smaller one. There was very little light in this small room; but at the moment of their entrance a tall man, who was seated, rose, and, touching the spring of a blind that was to the window, it was up in a moment, admitting a broad glare of light. A cry of surprise, mingled with terror, came from Henry Bannerworth's lips. The original of the portrait on the panel stood before him! There was the lofty stature, the long, sallow face, the slightly projecting teeth, the dark, lustrous, although somewhat sombre eyes; the expression of the features all were alike.

CHAPTER ONE:

The figure turns half round, and the light falls upon its face. It is perfectly white -- perfectly bloodless. The eyes look like polished tin; the lips are drawn back, and the principal feature next to those dreadful eyes is the teeth -- the fearful looking teeth projecting like those of some wild animal, hideously, glaringly white, and fang-like. [...] The glance of a serpent could not have produced a greater effect upon her than did the fixed gaze of those awful, metallic-looking eyes that were bent down on her face.

CHAPTER NOW:

"Are you unwell, sir?" said Sir Francis Varney, in soft, mellow accents, as he handed a chair to the bewildered Henry. "God of Heaven!" said Henry; "how like!" "You seem surprised, sir. Have you ever seen me before?"

I love this chapter so much. So much. The absolute balls on this guy. Bear with me for a moment:

As harrowing as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is (I'm not going to mention anything graphic), there is exactly one thing I took away from the 2011 David Fincher adaptation, and it is this: the horrible torturey killer says to the hero, while they are quietly staring at each other in the killer's kitchen, both knowing that the killer is the killer,

Let me ask you something. Why don't people trust their instincts? They sense something is wrong, someone is walking too close behind them... You knew something was wrong but you came back into the house. Did I force you, did I drag you in? No. All I had to do was offer you a drink. It's hard to believe that the fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain. But you know what? It is.

The realness of this statement just blew my fucking mind when I first saw this movie, because I am extremely that over-polite person, but horror/suspense so rarely comes out and just says, pay attention to the danger, the harm, that you are inflicting on yourself. I don't mean in a victim-blaming way; I mean, artistically acknowledging the horror of watching yourself act in ways you know you don't want to act, because the machinery of politeness seems that much more important. You are just as much caught in society's jaws as you are in the monster's.

And what's so incredible about this moment in the movie is that it's not us sitting in the audience screaming at Daniel Craig to NOTICE!! that the killer is behind him. No, he's perfectly aware. He followed him in. With the exact same stomach-twisting reluctance I have personally felt before, and maybe you have too, he feels like he has to be polite on the off chance that somehow, he might be wrong about this guy. It's the horror of the way "good manners" make you gaslight yourself.

I used to point out that People in Dracula Don't Know They're in Dracula, particularly regarding the early Jonathan Harker chapters—his behavior seems oddly complacent if you think he ought to realize he's in a horror movie. Of course he doesn't—the name "Dracula" means nothing to him; it doesn't sound weird or scary. Who, in a modern age of timetables and trains, could possibly believe that some guy would be a vampire? We are rational people these days, we are logical, we know better than that.

What if you did know you were in Dracula?

What if you knew a vampire was handing you a drink but you felt like you had to be polite?

"God of Heaven!" said Henry; "how like!" "You seem surprised, sir. Have you ever seen me before?" Sir Francis drew himself up to his full height, and cast a strange glance upon Henry, whose eyes were rivetted upon his face, as if with a species of fascination which he could not resist. "Marchdale," Henry gasped; "Marchdale, my friend, Marchdale. I -- I am surely mad." "Hush! be calm," whispered Marchdale. "Calm -- calm -- can you not see? Marchdale, is this a dream? Look -- look -- oh! look." "For God's sake, Henry, compose yourself."

Henry is melting the fuck down, and Varney is just standing there like, "What." "You're a vampyre!!!" "No." And there's Marchdale like, "Henry, you can't just ask people why they're vampyres."

Henry sunk into the chair which was near him, and he trembled violently. The rush of painful thoughts and conjectures that came through his mind was enough to make any one tremble. "Is this the vampyre?" was the horrible question that seemed impressed upon his very brain, in letters of flame. "Is this the vampyre?" "Are you better, sir?" said Sir Francis Varney, in his bland, musical voice. "Shall I order refreshment for you?"

"All I had to do was offer you a drink."

"No no," gasped Henry; "for the love of truth tell me! Is is your name really Varney?"

Sir Francis Varney avers that it truly is his name, and not Runnagate "Oh, Why Not" Marmaduke von Spookyportrait Bannerworth I, with such pride that I went and looked up if "Varney" has any special historical background. It, uh, doesn't. Per ancestry.com, it means "from the alder grove":

English: of Norman origin a habitational name from a French place called Vernay probably chiefly Saint-Paul-du-Vernay (Calvados). The placename comes from a derivative of Gaulish verno- ‘alder’ + the locative suffix -acum.

File that away in case alders or Norman apple brandy come up later, I guess. Meanwhile, Henry is saying straight to Varney's face, "I can't stand the sight of you because something really terrible just happened to my family. Something keeps happening. SOMEONE."

"A vampyre, I have heard," said Sir Francis Varney, with a bland, and almost beautiful smile, which displayed his white, glistening teeth to perfection.

"Nay, Henry," whispered Mr. Marchdale, "it is scarcely civil to tell Sir Francis to his face, that he resembles a vampyre."

"[You] so much resemble the vampyre," added Henry, "that that I know not what to think."

"Is it possible?" said Varney. "It is a damning fact." "Well, it's unfortunate for me, I presume?"

This fucking guy, I love it. But then Varney winces with pain: he apparently hurt his arm at... some point in time, because... reasons.

"A hurt?" said Henry. "Yes, Mr. Bannerworth." "A -- a wound?"

How did u come by that tho

"Oh, yes. A slight fall."

Over a wall, several times, maybe? Or one of the three times we shot you?

"We never know a moment when, from some most trifling cause, we may receive some serious bodily hurt. How true it is, Mr. Bannerworth, that in the midst of life we are in death." "And equally true, perhaps," said Henry, "that in the midst of death there may be found a horrible life."

I'm impressed that Rymer does not inflate the word count with a long staring contest, because they're absolutely having one right now.

"Well, I should not wonder. There are really so many strange things in this world, that I have left off wondering at anything now."

I love that I can thoroughly picture every single expression and intonation that's got to be happening. Obviously I do not love Francis Varney as a person, but he just emerges as this slippery, deadpan, fully-formed antagonist. And what makes it even better is if you imagine it's this guy who keeps flopping off a wall, over and over.

But what about Bannerworth Hall, isn't that why we're here? Well, Sir Francis wishes to buy it. Oh, are you attached to it, asks Henry, as if from LONG AGO? LIKE REALLY LONG AGO? Oh, not too long, Varney says coolly, but the Hall seems pretty chill. And "amazingly well wooded, which, to one of rather a romantic temperament like myself, is always an additional charm to a place." Henry informs him that he (Henry) was born there, and his ANCESTORS have lived there for CENTURIES. But the Hall has crumbled a bit over the last hundred years—hey, I bet you HATE being a VAMPYRE, HUH?

"No doubt it has. A hundred years is a tolerable long space of time, you know" [said Varney]. "It is, indeed. Oh, how any human life which is spun out to such an extent, must lose its charms, by losing all its fondest and dearest associations." "Ah, how true," said Sir Francis Varney.

The servant then returns with "wine and refreshments." In the middle of trying to google why vampires started not liking wine at some point, I discovered a Medium article explaining that vampire dot com is somehow not a White Wolf site but rather a winery, and they tried to sue FUCKING APPLEBEES over a $1 "vampire cocktail" on COPYRIGHT GROUNDS. Can you fucking imagine. "Vampire Wines has rights to 'vampire' and 'Dracula' wine branding." Get the fuck out of here. No you see legally they can reserve a generic term hundreds of years old in a wine context and—well they should feel bad about it, then. Also, "the company has filed similar suits against Taco Bell for its vampire-themed burrito," which is certainly a combination of words I've never heard before.

I want to note that this Medium article on vampire alcohol nuisance lawsuits also takes the time to say, "Vampires even made their way into popular literature through penny dreadful series like Varney the Vampire, a pulp fiction serial produced so hastily that new stories would often contradict previous Varney episodes." So I'm not imagining it, then! Wheeeee.

This episode actually ends abruptly on the appearance of noms, so we do not find out at this time whether Varney drinks............ wine or not. That's where we'll pick up next time.

Varney the Vampire masterpost

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hiya! Are you still doing matches? It’s 17.6. in my country but idk if I made it🙈

If I did, could you match me with a male character?

I’m INTP aquarius and a little lost in life. I like new shiny things, I like to dissect everything and everybody, I need to understand the why behind everything, including people. I try to be empathetic and tend to keep friends I make, but rarely make new friends. I oftentimes accidentally make social blunders and it’s hard for me to not be honest even when the situation really calls for it. I’ve learned to sort of disguise my opinions in something that’s not exactly false but not indicative of my true opinion when I do recognise the need to lie. It’s hard tho🥺. I’ve had some trauma in my childhood and get overwhelmed easily, I also find it hard to let people help while simultaneously not want to be alone. I open up to non-judgmental easygoing people who can let there be silence between us. It takes me a while to trust so I really appreciate people who don’t push me to open up and then don’t push their opinions on me when I do. I can be really stubborn when I truly believe in something but it takes a lot of time for me to process info and form my opinion. I stubbornly avoid having to decide something too quickly esp if it’s about a political situation or smth like that. When in comes to relationships with people I believe in allowing freedom for both sides. I’ll support almost any personal decision even if I disagree with it. All I ask is that they think it through and work with accurate info (I do that because I care and want the people I care about to make the right decisions for themselves). I try to avoid conflict but feel it is necessary when people are misinformed.

Hi, you made it dw ^^

I match you up on a blind date with...

Finral Roulacase

Finral too doesn't downright lie to people about his emotions or thoughts, but rather he directs attention to other things. Similarly, he doesn't really like conflict, which is why he prefers to try and do damage control by encouraging people to stay safe. Though later on he does develop more a confrontational side, and is more active in battles.

Finral isn't really opinionated, but he does remind people about things occasionally when he feels the need to do so. Which is rarely, but he does do so.

He also does have a troubled past, and thus, he understands that it's not so easy to move on. And he is an empathetic person, who would rather upkeep peace.

Finral is a lover, more than a fighter, when it comes to life in general.

You two would be able to find common ground, and would be able to bond over understanding the difficulty of overcoming a troubled past. But also wishing for a peaceful future. You'd be gentle with each other, but would be able to bring forth things you feel would need to be addressed, or reminded on.

[desultory-suggestions]

I'm scared to recover because it kind of feels like who i am now, and I'm really scared of gaining weight because I'm already considered a healthy weight. Since i was about age 4, i was considered "unhealthy" by the bmi chart. And I'm so scared to get back to that. The mean comments get to me so much, and things online about foods being unhealthy and my unrestricted body being bad or unhealthy too. Do you have any advice or tips? I'm also autistic and I don't get hunger cues. Professional eating disorder treatments haven't helped me, and I want to be able to make my own choices (they never seem to understand my autism and say it's the ed when it's not.) , so if i tried recovery, it would be at home with my family.

Hello, my dear. This is actually an extremely common fear and one that I had too. Sometimes, it still crosses my mind. Your eating disorder is the least interesting thing about you. It doesn't define you, and it doesn't make you any better of a person. In fact, all it does is create suffering for a beautiful person who has so much life to share. You are good, and so much energy and life is sapped away from you by this disorder. You will be shocked by how much you can accomplish when you are no longer under the thumb of an eating disorder. Your energy, your happiness, everything is ten times better. Every pound you may gain comes with added health and joy for your life. The people worth keeping in your life, want you to be the healthiest and happiest you can be.

You can be considered a healthy weight, but that doesn't mean you are a healthy weight for you or that you are maintaining it healthily. If you have to starve to be that weight, it is not a healthy weight. We are so afraid of the idea of bodies, weight, and being fat that we tell ourselves it's better to suffer than change, and that is just not true. There is nothing wrong with gaining weight or being fat. When we say every body is a good body, we mean every body. Working on dismantling our engrained fatphobia and obsession with thinness is vital to recovery. I was considered healthy at the pinnacle of my ED, and trust me I was not. Your body has a healthy weight range it can happily and naturally live within, and you deserve to let it live.

Interjection, never ever ever ever ever ever (this goes on for several more days) EVER listen to the goddamn BMI again. I cannot even begin to explain the absolute bogus that BMI charts and scales are. They mean nothing. There are ways to measure health with health professionals, BMI is not one of them even if a professional tells you it is. Research points to many issues with such scales. I am so so sorry anyone ever even told you such a thing. No one should be measuring your worth by your body. Generally, work towards avoiding all such scales. Even if it was accurate, so what? If you have personal health concerns you can address them with a professional, but being fat doesn't equal being unhealthy either. No one gets to measure your worth.

You will likely always see fatphobia and misinformation online, but it can be reduced. Unfollowing anyone who makes you feel lesser or increased ED issues is extremely important. And don't worry! There are so many amazing blogs to replace them with! Check out who I reblog from for some wonderful people who will remind you that you are worthy and loved in every form you take.

I can totally understand why conventional ED recovery specialists don't work for you. While you may be able to find someone who specifically works with autistic people or is autistic as well, you also may need to focus on what you can do for yourself. It is possible to recover without that standard treatment, but I still encourage speaking to a therapist in general. If hunger cues are an issue, you may find scheduling meals to be more helpful. You can play to eat with company to have support or to eat alone but have someone checking on how much you manage to eat. You can make a meal plan with a REGISTERED dietician (avoid plain nutritionists, as they often do not require a formal education) and follow along to get what your body needs. Whenever you do happen to sense hunger, follow it and eat! It can be rare, and maybe it doesn't happen at all. But if it does trust in it. Work on eating foods you are afraid of, small increments are still progress. Stock up on foods you love, and that you want to enjoy without shame.

Extra Tips:

I watch videos while I eat to reduce anxiety and shame. I love watching people who are food positive! Keith Eats the Menu helped me so much in recovery because I could see him and his friends all shamelessly enjoying their meals along with me.

I challenged myself to eat things that scared me once a week. Even if it is just a bite.

I recommend using a big Sharpie and hiding all the nutritional facts on food/drink packaging. You can also ask a friend! It feels like you will never forget those numbers, but trust me you do. It helps to also focus on all the good that is in it. Every food item holds nutrients and vital resources for us, every food item.

Keep affirming yourself, and as much as possible remove those who devalue you. It may not be completely possible, but even so keep adding the people into your life who treat you and your body with respect.

I know you can get through this. You are so much more than your disorder, and I can't wait to see how you grow.

Best,

Evan

[the-ghost-king]

Ngl it could have been better if their first kiss happened in the underworld in this book. And like idk some ppl already commented on this but their first kiss happening after Nico learnt about Jason's death and Will coming and kissing him is kinda.... idk. We got all of these 'first kiss' moments with the hetero couples so it could have been nice if we got once for will and nico too. I also do not understand the whole 'outing' thing. First, it was already bad in HoH. but why does Nico have to out himself to the entire camp? It's giving 'you cannot be yourself and you cannot date if you do not openly come out' energy, but you literally can... do that. And Nico outing Will makes no sense. I can understand Nico slowly opening up to others like Piper but why say it to the whole camp? The only good thing that came out of this was Nico's coming out encouraging other kids at the camp, i guess but still... unnecessary.

Everything you've said here is something I agree with and have already brought up multiple times and I expect I will bring it up again in the future as well... I would also like to mention how upsetting it is that the "you have to come out to be fully yourself" thing is aimed at teens and young adults, as if that isn't the group often most at risk for harm in that situation as they have no way to support themself if need be... Also the outing Nico had in HoH was far worse because it was malicious, but being outed unintentionally by people who are well meaning can be just as painful (trust me I've been through both lol) and difficult to cope with. A lot of the queer narrative in the book also felt "preachy" for lack of a better term, so much of it was stated instead of shown and it was like expecting you to automatically agree with what was being said and what you were being told but the way things were worded was very much so from like a queer theory lingo origin? And while I can't think of anything that was said I necessarily disagree with it was a rough transition and I think it was unnecessary as I think they would probably have slightly different culture and customs and beliefs systems around queerness being from camp and having limited internet access... The only thing I can say I liked was Nico saying he never had a moment he realized he was gay but that he was always gay and that he did instead only have a moment where he realized it was something people may look down at him for and he would have to hide/fight for, that felt very accurate to previous character set ups we've seen with him (to me at least) but otherwise he had moments where he came across as more of a mouthpiece and even though like I said I didn't think anything that was put in the dialogue was disagreeable it's still odd and poor authorship imo... And I don't personally think Will kissing Nico at that point was wrong, a little weird or odd though? definitely... It would have been nice to have Will and Nico have a first kiss in text that was comparable to the heterosexual couples in previous books in the series but even if I can't have that I would have just very much not have liked Nico to be outed again and to have that be embraced as a good thing because it once again pushes the idea that the way to be a good ally is to nudge or shove your friend out of the closet when in all actuality your job as a good ally and a good friend (even more importantly) is to wait patiently for your friend to hatch on their own terms instead of trying to crack eggs too early

I think as well having them be together almost a year and then take their relationship in the direction they did was too much... If they wanted to go the route they did with their relationship they should have only been together a couple of months, and if they wanted to have them be together longer they needed to fortify their relationship more yet they tried to do both and of course the relationship fell flat (again though, I do like the idea that love is different for each couple and I like the acknowledgement that love is a constant choice- I just find the way they arrive at that conclusion sometimes to be a little unhealthy?)

[saezurufeels]

hello there, i've being a saezuru fan since chapter 15 was realized and i've been following the tumblr posts since then as well, this is the first time i actually commented anywhere on tumblr about it! :)

i'm saying this for a reason by the way stay with me :)

ive being expecting this chapter for like a month and ive reread everything from the beginning and i will encourage you to do the same as i understand better the relationship of doumeki and yashiro but also the plot of the yakuza story line, the time frame of the story in the story and the actual time frame of the manga being posted is consider always when creating the next chapter. i mean there is a time dilation and that somehow dilates the understanding of the story! i know that you probably are like dahh we know sis.

BUT i came to an expectation of chapter 51 that was accurate somehow, because i knew that their relationship was never expressed by them with WORDS, and even if they used words (like sharing secrets to each other in the very beginning of the story) is because they showed trust and affection to each other by flirting, especially yashiro to doumeki in the beginning chaptes his like - i can do so much to you babes, let me show you what i can do to you babes omg your so cute! -

There is a silence in their conversation, that it is known that it says i love you. it was always like that from the beginning and thats why i love saezuru that much and yoneda for creating it, i didnt saw that anywhere else so far in a manga, i only saw the words and the common confessions to convey that.

i dont expect a confession i dont see the need for that, she choose to make yashiro kick doumeki to show how concerned he was about him (i love you why did you do that to yourself, i wanted you to be safe) and doumeki let him kick him although he is bigger than him and could easily stop him and all he did was grab him gentle by the wrist and looked at him( i love you i will always love i did this because i can protect you and i will protect you).

also there is no way that doumeki doesn't love yashiro or he is with someone else is yoneda trying to create anxiety on you and she is succeeding lol, she is aware of her fanbase and she is also aware of pleasing us and displeasing us.

i would like to hear your thought and opinions guys!:)

Hi there! Wow, you’ve been here very long! Thank you for your first public Saezuru comment and sharing some of your wisdom :) Well put, I agree with everything you said! Rereading the manga before new chapters come out is always so helpful because it puts things into a proper perspective.

You’re so right, they did flirt a lot in the beginning. They talked so much about their personal lives, and shared so many thoughts and ideas with each other. They also showed so much interest in the other; they didn’t just talk about themselves, they actually cared about the other person. It’s these simple gestures, the pauses - the acceptance, that convey romantic feelings. YK uses body language, dynamics, reactions, and everything in between to show the progression of Yashiro and Doumeki’s relationship. Sometimes there are brief internal monologues and confessions, but those parts are used to supplement what was already conveyed and understood through non-verbal storytelling.

It’s true, a confession isn’t always necessary. The impact of character development often goes down the toilet when you just have two characters in a room making one confession after another. Words don’t change opinions, actions do. Saying something is great, but what value does it have? What impact does it make if it’s not backed up by some tangible actions? Who’s going to believe you? If Doumeki told Yashiro, “I don’t want you to see Kido, because I don’t like how he treats you,” would that leave the same impact as throwing a grown man across a room and picking your lover off the floor? Portraying action is proof, but words are empty by nature.

That being said, I do think Yashiro and Doumeki will have an honest conversation eventually, otherwise it would leave a void. I know I just said words are empty by nature, but when you follow up an act with an explanation, you ascribe meaning and significance to it. If there is no meaning ascribed to behaviour, it could make people question the importance and validity of it. So, words are still important to solidify and clarify the significance and meaning of actions. Perhaps, the order of those two is important in good storytelling.

Oh YK would drop a golden apple into a room and watch the girlies fight over it for sureee. Love her though, would follow her into a cult

[borathae]

jimin GROW UP 🙄 DAMN! you manipulative insecure lonely miserable bitch!

jimin moves like an abuser and i’m not playing like i hate to say it. i know he was a victim, but now he’s victimizing others and i’m not about that. if he don’t clean up his act, imma start forcing vamp poison down his throat. truly i’m tired of jungkook being sad bc of tae 😡 i know seokjin and hobi gon be mad. yoongi is probably gonna be pissed too. and if im this fucking mad, i can imagine how pissed OC is gonna be.

u know what jungkook! word to shawn mendez bc i can treat u better than he can.

the juxtaposition of how two of the most important people in tae’s life treats him is so interesting. you have jimin, his best friend and literal proclaimed soulmate, be insecure and jealous, more concerned w keeping tae at his side and willing to hurt everyone (even tae) in the process. then you have oc, his girlfriend, encouraging him to maintain his bonds with other people, crying tears of enjoyment when she sees how happy he is with jimin, smiling when she sees him with jungkook. oc is truly a beautiful soul and just wants everyone happy. even you, jimin, you fucking fool.

now, even though i am pissed with jimin right now, i do understand why he is the way that he is. he literally has no one else but tae, while oc has an entire support system outside of tae. she has her friends hobi, jin, and emma, she has her own soulmate yoongi, she has (friend? lover?) jungkook. jimin has no one. meanwhile, tae is the same as oc in regards to a support system. i understand jimin feels threatened and doesn’t want to be alone, but is his loneliness really more important than tae’s happiness? he’s being extremely selfish right now.

don’t get me wrong, i do want jimin dead right now. but lonely bastards are a fucking nuisance, and that’s what jimin is right now. maybe if he’d reach out and try to form bonds with other people, with tae’s support system, he won’t feel left behind. maybe if he wouldn’t push everyone else away, he won’t worry about being left alone whenever tae’s attention isn’t on him for five fucking minutes.

literally i’ve felt the way jimin has felt before, but you know what i did? i tried to befriend my friends’ friends. i love my friends and trust their judgements, and if they love someone, maybe i can love them too. it’d do jimin well if he adopted this way of thinking instead of being a dirty lowdown FREAK.

jimin moves like an abuser and i’m not playing like i hate to say it. i know he was a victim, but now he’s victimizing others and i’m not about that. if he don’t clean up his act, imma start forcing vamp poison down his throat.

JFADJ MOOD hahha no but I 100% agree with you. Jimin's been acting like a fucking cockhead ever since he came back. Like what happened honey? it's like he saw that Tae moved on with his life when he died and is now trying to destory everything tae build just "to make sure he has space for him" LIKE BRO

ALSO I LOVE THAT COMPARISON BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING ACCURATE OMFG

now, even though i am pissed with jimin right now, i do understand why he is the way that he is. he literally has no one else but tae, while oc has an entire support system outside of tae. she has her friends hobi, jin, and emma, she has her own soulmate yoongi, she has (friend? lover?) jungkook. jimin has no one. meanwhile, tae is the same as oc in regards to a support system. i understand jimin feels threatened and doesn’t want to be alone, but is his loneliness really more important than tae’s happiness? he’s being extremely selfish right now.

this this THIS! It honestly "explains" why Jimin acts the way he does. It doesn't excuse it though and he really gotta think about himself for a moment because honey you're not being funny rn

maybe if he’d reach out and try to form bonds with other people, with tae’s support system, he won’t feel left behind. maybe if he wouldn’t push everyone else away, he won’t worry about being left alone whenever tae’s attention isn’t on him for five fucking minutes.

YES! THIS! I AGREE SO HARD OMFG!! like if he only realised that there are other people wanting to be his friend if only he stopped being so jealous all the time. Like even OC has been trying time and time again to befriend him and he always manages to fuck it up one way or the other like bruv please 😩😩