#even when Crowley is offering nothing in return

[ineffectualbookseller]

It just really GRINDS MY GEARS the way Crowley is keeping so much from Aziraphale this season but also I TOTALLY understand why he's doing it

The thing is we saw Aziraphale keep a huge secret from Crowley in season 1 after he got his hands on the Nice and Accurate Prophecies and went to heaven with the information about Adam rather than telling Crowley, but then we saw him grow from that mistake. He realized how wrong a decision that was and that's why he's SO committed to them working as a team in season 2. The way he immediately goes to Crowley when Gabriel shows up and keeps him updated whenever he talks to heaven and even calls from Edinburgh to tell him about the new Clue (and maybe to brag a little because he's feeling proud)

and YEAH Aziraphale lies. I'm not saying he doesn't. He's a liar. Lies to himself, to heaven, to hell, to god's face, and sometimes to Crowley. But in my opinion, the biggest lie he tells Crowley about the occult/ethereal goings-on this season is not telling him about Shax on the drive back to Edinburgh. And I think the reason he doesn't is the same reason he's SO nervous to tell him about Gabriel at first; he's afraid Crowley will overreact - will totally freak out when he realizes Aziraphale is being threatened. Which is, frankly, justified. He would.

But then Crowley is over here lying about SO MUCH all season. And some of the lies are about his own pride (i.e. not telling his self-described bestie that he has been UNHOUSED for YEARS during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC) but mostly he does it because he thinks it is protecting Aziraphale. Because he is so obsessed with saving Aziraphale.

Everyone knows it - Demons are using threats against Aziraphale as a way to intimidate Crowley all over the shop (a good tactic tbf, far more effective than threatening Crowley himself), and Aziraphale openly speaks it.

But the actual reason he does it is because he's so concerned about proving his worth to Aziraphale. We know Crowley has self-esteem issues. He's all smoke and mirrors - not a man (nb) just a flashy jacket wrapped around a bundle of insecurities and anxieties. He still thinks he needs to prove himself to Aziraphale, that he needs to make himself worthy of his partnership. He cognitively knows they should be equals, a team of the two of them on their own side, but he just can't shake the notion that Aziaphale needs a reason to fraternize with a demon.

And of course, Aziraphale doesn't. He loves Crowley as he is and sees just as much worth in the small acts of bringing him chocolates at the bookshop opening or clearing them a table at the Ritz. True, he does love that Crowley loves saving him, but not because he actually needs it, because it's part of the flirty game they play. But he's not honest enough to tell Crowley as much clearly (not that speaking it would solve Crowley's self-worth issues).

The thing is, "Saving me makes him so happy" is so much cuter when you're fully PRETENDING to be stuck in the Bastille and don't know any other way of asking your crush out on a lunch date. Because now the forces of heaven and hell are knocking on THEIR bookshop door and all they have is each other but Crowley hasn't been honest with Aziraphale about the seriousness of this threat and Aziraphale didn't warn him about Shax BECAUSE he knew he would be overprotective. Crowley needs so badly to be the hero he's undermined their power as a team.

And that's the dramatic irony of it all. As an audience, it is spelled out so clearly for us that they are at their best, their most powerful, as a team. They are a whole greater than the sum of its parts. The fact of Crowley's incessant need to prove himself, to be the hero, to "protect" Aziraphale from all this information that he has been choosing to lie about all season - it's just making them weaker.

TLDR; Crowley is lying to Aziraphale to keep him safe because he still feels like he needs to prove himself to be worthy of Aziraphale's partnership but this makes it impossible for them to truly work as a team and is hurting them both

[crowborn666-writes]

Hi, I have a request if you don’t mind :3

How would Azul, Jamil, Silver, and Rook react to reader who can’t stop staring because they think they’re just so ethereal in their eyes?

Like they’re talking and reader’s just resting their head on their hand/arm with that lovesick gaze while they demonstrate/explain something but whenever they catch reader staring they get all flustered and try to hide their face/self

I thought it was pretty cute, if you don’t want to you have to but if you do accept thank you in advance!

(also I’ve got more ideas so if it’s not taken can I be 🌒 anon?)

(Absolutely you can! Sorry this took a while. Jamil gave me so much trouble omggg i dont know him well yet)

Lovestruck

Characters: Azul, Jamil, Silver, and Rook

Genre: Fluff, Romantic

Summary: They have no clue how pretty they can be, do they?

Started this then found the song La Vie En Rose. :3

~~~~~~

Azul

Nothing melts you more than seeing Azul’s gears turning as he conducts a deal. The way his eyes light up with an idea upon seeing an opportunity. You’ve seen him do it more times than you can count, usually making a deal with Grim to get him to behave for longer than five minutes. You usually have to look away before he can meet your eye, distracting yourself from the way your heart sings by looking at anything else.

You even frequent the Mostro Lounge often, getting your usual most times, but are happy to try out any new dishes Jade mentions. Whenever you do, you always pass by Azul with your honest opinion, and like always, you hurry to pay and leave. If only to avoid gushing over how dreamy he looks when he smiles his thanks.

Little did you know he’s caught sight of your lovestruck face plenty of times, and behind the scenes he’s carefully calculating the right moment to give his confession.

Jamil

You fell from the moment he went out of his way to help you in the communal kitchen at NRC. You had been whipping up dinner for you and Grim, since of course Ramshackle's stove didn't work (Thanks Crowley), when Jamil stepped up beside you with a polite offer to help. There wasn't anything in it for him really, you had only gotten enough ingredients to make enough for you and Grim, yet Jamil was there, offering tips and aid for your apparent struggle.

So of course, when your pupils got big and your smile turned a touch too warm, he knew.

But he didn't say anything, secretly finding your "subtle" gazes flattering. Whenever he had a spare moment, he found himself aiding you in whatever you could need. Need help reaching a book on a high shelf? Need more tips on what spices would go good together? Jamil's got you, and perhaps you have his heart in return.

Silver

He takes the longest to notice, usually being asleep when you take your chances. He always wakes up with the lingering feeling of being watched, and just as it starts to unnerve him, he catches you.

You hadn't noticed this time when he woke up. You sit across the courtyard, Ace and Deuce's conversation going in one ear and out the other as you gaze over at him. Your chin rests in your hand, and you're only snapped from your lovesick gaze when Ace shakes your shoulder.

Silver stares back through lidded eyes, staying still so he can feign sleeping. You may not have the eyesight to see his eyes open from that distance, but he's grateful when Ace drags your group away. He could feel his cheeks beginning to heat up at the realization you liked him too.

Rook

You’d be a fool to think this man doesn’t notice your longing, lovestruck gazes. Yet here you stand, distracted in class as you watch Rook from across the room. Is he aware of how you think the tables have turned? The hunter being the one watched instead of doing the watching?

He absolutely is. Especially when he catches your eye in potionology with a knowing look, causing you to jump and turn away. His timing is impeccable, somehow startling you back into focus just in time to finish this round of stirring. At least, Professor Crewel won't bite at you for messing up this assignment (hopefully).

Rook almost laughs when you go to many lengths to hide your flustered face whenever he catches you. Actually no, he does laugh. To himself. He ignores the odd looks sent his way. He lets this game of visual cat and mouse run for a while, pondering over what poem to praise you with when the time is right.

[thebluester2020]

[TWST] "Umbrella"

Summary: You hadn’t had the chance to see Malleus for a while due to your busy schedule as of late. But after Malleus suggests that you two briefly hang out in between your classes, despite it practically raining cats and dogs, you won’t let bad weather stop you from your plans to see him!

Warning(s): Porn with plot ngl, Public sex(In a way? Reader and Malleus do it in the Botanical Gardens but no one's there), Munch Malleus.

Side Note(s): This is what listening to Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on repeat does to a mf. Also, there may some *slight* OOC Malleus in here. I’m still not on the Diasomnia book yet *sigh*

You haven’t had the chance to see Malleus lately. It seemed like everything in the universe wanted to keep you away from him suddenly!

If it wasn’t your classes, it was your homework and when Malleus offered to help you with your homework, you were all of a sudden whisked away to do busy work for Crowley. If those two options didn’t come in your path then you were tired from rushing around campus all day, sitting through lecture after lecture and the toll of being in an unfamiliar world taking it’s toll on you! Sure, the amount was dwindling by the day as you began to forget what your old life used to be like but, you still thought about home here and there.

But in the face of Malleus? Not to mention, the idea of leaving him-

The idea of returning became less and less appealing.

“Class dismissed, pups!” Crewel shouted as soon as the bell had rung, loudly signaling that class was over for the day. You wiped the sweat from your brow, fanning your face too for good measure as the experiment you had to perform with Grim dealt with a ton of fire magic. You were certain that you were going to smell like smoke and flames for weeks on end after this! And yet, once you had packed your things and turned down the long hallway out of the classroom…your day was immediately brightened, all by spotting a familiar set of horns up ahead.

You called out “Malleus!” With a bright grin, as if all the tiredness had left your body in a single instance.

The pair of horns stopped moving, moving left and right before stilling to look straight ahead as you pushed and wormed your way through the crowd before you were standing in front of your boyfriend. He looked as princely and perfect as ever it seemed, even though it was the middle of the day, it seemed that nothing could get even a single hair to get out of place!

“Y/N.” Malleus said your name with such softness that it made your heart swoon and make your mind suddenly feel as if it had been dropped onto a bed of clouds. “How have you been? It’s been-“

“A while,” You finished for him as your face began to flush red. “I…I’m not avoiding you! I-I hope you don’t see it that way.”

The Briar prince then placed a hand on your head, a silent way of comforting you before he slowly shook your head. “I am grateful that you merely wish to be in my presence, nothing could make me think you’re avoiding me.” He said. “And besides, even if such a thing were the case. I would talk to you first.” Malleus then looked around him to see that the crowds of passing periods had mostly died down to nothing but a few late stragglers here and there, as much as he wanted to continue talking to you…stop time right this instance if it meant that he would remain in your presence for but a second longer…he knew that you were busy. Especially seeing as your magic wasn’t your own and you relied on another for it.

"Are you free to spend time together this afternoon? I want to see you." His words practically flew out of his mouth before he could fully think about what he was asking of you. Suddenly, he worried that you would decline, that you would be busy around lunchtime or that you had already made plans around that time! He tried telling himself that the rejection was fine, that you had your own hobbies and friends to tend to but—

"O-Of course!" You responded excitedly, sweeping away his thoughts in a heartbeat as you practically glowed with excitement. Not a single answer that was along the lines of 'no' ever dared to cross your mind as you nearly jumped up and down like an excited toddler. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Near Ramshackle," He said with a soft smile. "There's no pressure, of course, I just...really want to see you, we've barely had any time to ourselves these days. Especially without interruption." You couldn't have agreed more as ideas of what the both of you would do during your afternoon date floated around in your head, all before you placed a kiss on Malleus' cheek. "It's a date then." You nearly burst into flames when Malleus responded via kissing you on the lips, a chaste and fleeting gesture but filled with enough passion and love to power a dozen suns.

"I look forward to our date then."

. . .

When you heard the thunder, you thought the world itself was trying to play some cruel trick on you. When it was close to your last class ending, you desperately tricked and told yourself that it was just your imagination! After all, no one else in the class even thought to react to the sound of an oncoming rainstorm much less your teacher! But...the second the bell had rung and you had stepped out of the building...the sight of rain practically pouring down from the heavens as if someone up there had tipped over a bucket, disappointment and annoyance filled your entire body in a rush. You were looking forward to your date, you didn't want a single thing to take away the possibility of you being able to hang out with your boyfriend after so long.

So, with a strike of determination all of a sudden, you pulled your backpack over your head and began to run as fast as you could through the rain. Yet, with the rain coming down so hard, the ground started to become slippery, your vision becoming blurrier and blurrier by the second it seemed while your backpack was starting to become drenched, all before...you found yourself standing in the middle of the rain, the mist fogging up the distance ahead of you without leaving a single clue as to where you were supposed to turn next.

"Shit..." You cursed to yourself quietly. You almost had a mind to tear up, all you wanted was a peaceful impromptu date! And yet—you gasped when you felt a warm force gently tug you somewhere out of the pouring rain. Before you knew it, your feet were no longer standing on a cobblestone path but soft grass, and eventually...shelter. The smell of flowers and all types of magical herbs entered your nostrils, combined with the misty scent due to the rain, it made for a pleasant yet crisp scent. Eventually, however, you took your backpack from above your head to drop it next to your feet. "Malleus?" You looked over to see him peacefully sitting on one of the benches, smiling as if he hadn't done a single thing.

He gently chuckled as he rose from his seat to walk over to you. "You're drenched, my love." You sighed, embarrassed. "The rain came out of nowhere..." You mumbled.

He nodded his head, doing his best to dry you off with his magic until his eyes widened at your shirt practically being see-through. He cleared his throat and looked away, the sight of his embarrassed expression confusing you for only a brief moment until you blushed yourself and quickly covered yourself as best you could. "S-Sorry..." You mumbled. "Maybe it would have been better to have postponed this—"

"No." He interrupted you. "...I wouldn't want to go any longer without seeing you, but...I didn't mean for you to risk getting sick, having your clothes ruined because of me."

You immediately took his face into your hands, huffing in annoyance. "Don't say that! I'd run through a million rainstorms if it meant that I'd get to see you in the end!" The both of you stared at each other for a long while, basking in each other's presence whilst Malleus basked in the sight of love swimming around in your eyes. He could hardly contain himself from kissing you silly as his hands came to rest on your hips, yet, as his eyes steadily traveled from your gaze and eventually rested on your slightly exposed breasts...a slow exhale left his lips as a familiar warmth started to travel through his being.

Yet, he tried to remain respectful of the fact that you may have been cold. "Forgive me," He looked away from your chest. "We need to get you a change of clothes, you...must be cold, right?" When you felt his grip around your waist tighten, your hands traveled from his face to rest on his shoulders as a smirk steadily crept onto your lips.

"Why don't you warm me up? We're alone." Your sex throbbed at the sight of Malleus' eyes beginning to darken with lust when you tugged him closer to you, feeling the tent in his pants against your stomach. "Are you sure?" He asked, searching for any signs of hesitancy in your eyes before you nodded your head eagerly.

"Please."

He could hardly wait for another second as his lips suddenly smashed against your own, weeks of unbridled passion and longing contained in each breathless moan that left his lips, his hands grabbing at every part of your skin as he struggled not to simply tear through your clothing in order to get to your skin even sooner. "My love..." He moaned. His hands flew to the buttons on your shirt, unbuttoning them with skill and precision before he was graced by the sight of your skin. Like a dog suddenly introduced to a slab of meat, his mouth watered at the sight, almost struggling to figure out which part of your skin he wanted to kiss first until he finally decided on the valley between your breasts.

"M-Malleus—!" You grabbed at his hair when his head suddenly dived down to begin peppering kisses along your breasts, his sharp nails leaving goosebumps in their wake as they teasingly trailed up the sides of your body and eventually to the clasp of your bra. "So pretty, my love." He praised, accentuating each word with a kiss to your chest until he latched onto one of your nipples. The feeling of his long tongue rolling around your nipple made your cunt clench around nothing, slick beginning to pool in the center of your panties before beginning to leak down your thighs. "Malleus..." You continued to whine his name like a prayer as he continued to suck and lightly bite at your nipple, sinfully lewd groans mixed with soft moans and gasps leaving your boyfriend's lips as he looked up at you as if you held the entire world in your grasp.

You wanted nothing more than to sit on his cock, ride him all in an effort to hear more of his delicious noise but...he was nothing if not attentive to your needs first and foremost before his own.

"Please..." You whispered as you found enough strength to weakly move one of your hands from Malleus' hair and to his hair. He groaned at the contact as you gently tugged him from your chest. "D-Down there..." He smirked at your shyness to tell him exactly what you wanted him to do to your cunt. Another time, he'd tease you and urge you to tell him exactly what you wanted to ensure your utmost pleasure, yet...as he began to see the rain begin to steadily let up. He knew he'd have to hurry things along.

"So needy~" He purred. Slowly, Malleus lowered himself to a crouch, the feeling of his warm breath on your clothed pussy as he gently lifted one of your legs to rest on his shoulder making you lick your lips in anticipation. His hands slipped down your sides, eventually coming to rest themselves on your thighs before his fingers found their way underneath your skirt. You were practically dripping, the arousing sight making the prince almost wish that the rain would last forever if it meant that he'd have a chance to sink himself into your heat. Yet, he was willing to take whatever he could get— "You don't have to stare..." Your embarrassed murmur tore him from his perverted thoughts, causing him to chuckle in response.

"There's no need to be embarrassed, my dear—" His finger slowly moved your soaked underwear to the side, strings of your glistening slick still connecting you to your panties while more oozed out from your twitching sex. "—we've done this countless times before, haven't we?" Before you could answer, you felt Malleus' thumb begin to gently rub circles onto your clit before he started to teasingly kiss and lick at your sex, stealing your breath right from your lungs as you struggled to keep yourself standing upright. His grip on your thighs tightened as his soft lips wrapped around your bud, his tongue beginning to flick it and rub it in circles.

Never once did his eyes leave your own as Malleus ate you out, one of your hands continuing to massage your boob while another slowly traveled to softly pet at Malleus' head before coming to grip at one of his horns. He grunted into your cunt, the vibration making you buck into his mouth before...the sight of his hand beginning to travel to free his cock from his pants nearly made you cum right then and there. Malleus felt like a pervert, fisting his cock while he ate you out like a man starved but he couldn't help it! You tasted soooo good and your attempts to keep yourself quiet but ultimately failing only made more pre-cum drip down from his cock and onto the grass below.

"You're dripping, my love, does my mouth feel that good?" You nodded your head, the telltale sign of your orgasm beginning to approach shown in the way that your eyes began to fog over and your thighs began to twitch. He then pushed one his slender fingers into your sex before curling up, finding your g-spot with ease and making you buck even more. Malleus smirk, wrapping his lips around your bud once more to work in tandem with his fingers. "Fuck..." You moaned. "Malleus—"

"I know, my love, I know." He whispered against your cunt, his voice soft and full of lust as he increased the movements of his fingers as he sucked your clit even harder. You were only able to moan and whine as your body shook with pleasure, lewd squelching and groaning coming from between your thighs as Malleus both worked to bring you to your high as well as continue to pleasure himself, slick noises emitting from his fist as he fucked his hand even faster. "M-Malleus...I'm gonna—c-cumming—" Malleus nodded between your legs, quickening his pace as he pressed his face even deeper into your cunt. Your grip on his horn tightened, making him moan as you came with a silent scream.

Your back arched as Malleus continued to eat you out, the slight pains of overstimulation making you whine as he continued to fist his cock, his moans vibrating against your clit before he suddenly stilled, releasing your clit with a lewd 'pop' as he hissed and whined out your name. The both of you stood there for a while longer, letting yourselves fall back down to earth from your orgasms until...the feeling of Malleus pressing a kiss to your thigh and slowly taking your leg from his thigh snapped you from your hazy brain.

Then, the prince chuckled as he adjusted himself back into his pants, standing back up and quickly wrapping an arm around your back to steady you. "Look, the rain stopped."

[aziraphales-library]

I NEED DESPERATE DEEP RAIN KISSES SO BADLY OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

(begging, scratching the walls of my jail)

i do love this blog so much, btw. I come here daily and it never desapoints me

I have tea to trade for good desperate deep rain kisses!!!! It is a good offer!!!!! (☕🍵☕🍵☕🍵☕)

Here are some kissing in the rain fics...

leave it to the rain by actualchangeling (G)

A conversation in the rain, some emotional competence, a smidge of honesty, and the complete lack of an awning—after yet another apocalypse has been averted, they finally find their way back to each other. - There is nothing romantic or calm about this night either, but Aziraphale retraces his steps and closes the distance between them simply because he can, simply because, even though he might not say it out loud, Crowley wants him to. There is, however, love. There has always been love, whether they could admit it or not.

Appreciating the Moment by Boacrow (NR)

Aziraphale and Crowley are stuck inside due to heavy rain outside. When a power outage occurs, Crowley decides to take things into his own hands.

Ready For Love by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

When their picnic is interrupted by rain, Aziraphale and Crowley take shelter under a tree. Touched by Crowley’s immediate attempt to cheer him up, Aziraphale makes a move. He has loved this demon for some time, after all, and he’s ready to show it.

Falling From Above by CasimirtT (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley get wet

Awning Realisation by DoonaRose (T)

This is exactly what you think. As Aziraphale and Crowley navigate the early stages of figuring out this whole kissing and romance business, they happen to get caught in the rain. Fortunately, there is an Awning. Fluffy, fluffy, fluffy fic (with a sprinkle of spice).

The First Storm by Aethelflaed (G)

As the first storm grows more intense, an angel and a demon seek comfort from each other... -- “I…you know, I saw the humans doing this earlier,” the angel murmured, voice almost lost in the rain. “To comfort each other, when they first felt fear.” “Not afraid,” Crawley objected, even as the light returned, sending shivers of anticipation through him. “I…I never said you were,” and his other arm came around to press Crawley’s head into the bend of his neck. Now he could feel how those hands trembled, a gentle, ceaseless vibration. The angel buried his own face in Crawley’s shoulder, and the demon didn’t so much hear as feel the tiny squeak of distress that fell from those lips.

- Mod D

[yuurei20]

Yuurei, I have a question! I don't know much about the novel, can you tell me about Yuuya? Could it be that Yuuya and MC/Yuu are the same person? If not, what are their differences?

Hello hello! Thank you for this question! 🦐

This response has become very long 💦 So it will cover only Yuuya/Game Prefect in the prologue, with Book 1 and Book 2 comparisons to follow!

We get descriptions about how Yuuya is feeling and what he is thinking that we do not receive about Game-Prefect, but this does not technically prove that the Game-Prefect was not experiencing those same thoughts and/or emotions:

When Grim declares he will be fighting Yuuya for his spot at NRC, for example, Yuuya is described as being "nearly in tears," and while there is nothing in the game that insinuates Game-Prefect was also close to crying there is also nothing that disproves it, so in instances like this things could go either way: Yuuya-adjacent or otherwise.

Game-Prefect has the option of two different lines disparaging Ramshackle Dorm when they first see it, neither of which are things that Yuuya says.

It is a significant moment in the game when Game-Prefect appeals to Crowley to allow Grim to stay with them, surprising Grim, and there is even a follow-up of additional beseeching from Game-Prefect when Crowley seems reluctant.

This situation was flipped in the novel, with Crowley unilaterally assigning Yuuya to Grim and Yuuya actually trying to protest against it.

When Crowley declares that Yuuya is to be a janitor at the school Yuuya starts to cry ("in his great relief, the tears he'd held back earlier rolled down his cheeks"), with an added description of how he is so grateful for the food, shelter and purpose he is being offered that he wants to hug Crowley.

In contrast, Game-Prefect has the option to respond "Fair enough" or "What choice do I have?"

When Ace tells Yuuya that he and Grim should be able to do the hundred-window punishment alone as the school's janitors Yuuya is described as mumbling, "But, um, we were told to finish up before supper," while Game-Prefect's options are "There's no "banging out" a hundred windows!" and "Headmage's orders. You heard the man."

The moment where Game-Prefect yells at the bickering Deuce, Grim and Ace is the same in the novel, down to how he scares Grim (in the novel Deuce and Ace immediately return to bickering).

The moment where Yuuya suggests they work together is also the same in the game, though novel-Ace's dismissal of the idea is a little harsher.

Yuuya does not have any dialogue about the group becoming closer, while Game-Prefect has options to comment on how they have all come together.

Yuuya does not refer to them as friends (as of the end of the first novel he is still questioning if such a thing wouldn't make Ace and Deuce mad at him, more here ->), but neither does Game-Prefect: the line "We're all really good friends" was added to EN, which EN is known for doing.

Game-Prefect and Yuuya's responses to being named beast-tamer and a student are nearly identical.

While Yuuya thanks Ace and Deuce for their help in the prologue's final scene, Game Prefect does not.

And that is the Game-Prefect/Yuuya Prologue comparison! :> While the two react identically in some situations they are very different in others, which is maybe a good way to describe the novels vs. the original game as a whole!

And just in case, a few previous asks pertaining to Yuuya:

・What does Yuuya do during OB battles? ・Does Yuuya join a club? ・Leona and Yuuya ・Ace and Yuuya

And a few Yuuya-relevant translations:

Novel 1

・What Yuuya Remembers ・Yuuya, Alone ・Yuuya Dreams ・Yuuya's Confession ・Ace Almost Apologizes ・Yuuya's First Class ・Yuuya and Deuce ・Yuuya at Night ・Yuuya and Ace ・Yuuya Fails ・Yuuya's Guilt ・Yuuya Apologizes ・Stubborn

Novel 2

・Yuuya and the Rumors ・Yuuya and Grim's Club ・Yuuya in Class ・Meeting Malleus (pt1) ・Meeting Malleus (pt2) ・Jack and Yuuya ・Cater and Yuuya

[mr-crawlings-wife]

Hopeless Idiots

Prologue-9

Previous part, Masterlist, Next part

Warning: nothing much tbh, canon chaos

It's almost evening now. The sun is setting, dipping into the horizon. I'm outside Crowley's office, about to enter to clean it up and retire for the day. As I make my way inside, Crowley calls out to me,

"By any chance, Mao Mao dear, have you heard from Grim?"

"No sir." I get to work immediately, using the collapsible ladder provided to me by him, to reach the portraits hung on the wall behind his desk. I spray a light spritz of the cleaning solution before wiping with a towel.

"When was the last time you saw him then?“

Why was he asking me this?

"Way before class started..."

"Huh...so it would seem you have no idea."

I pause my movements. My hands going still against the glass protecting the antique portraits.

"Did something happen sir?" I resume my ministrations.

"Well...Grim and a freshman set the Queen of Hearts statue on fire. And then they- along with another heartslabyul freshman, destroyed the chandelier in the cafeteria."

I step down from the ladder.

"They made a deal with me... That they would get a magic stone fit for the chandelier within today in exchange for keeping their positions as students...and they've yet to return."

"Do you want me to go look for them?“

"That's up to you."

I remain quiet and don't offer him an answer. Instead, I continue to clean up. A faint sense of haste in my movements.

I head straight to the chamber of mirrors after I'm done. Why am I doing this? I don't know. I have no idea why I'm formulating a plan or why I'm almost running. Or even why I'm slightly crestfallen when I realise that I have no idea how to use a mirror for transportation as I stand in front of it.

Should I just say a command? Like how Crowley did when he tried to send me back home?

But this mirror is designated for only Heartslabyul. It isn't supposed to lead me anywhere else. But what if I end up lost?

I pick at the decorations surrounding the mirror, it's covered in dust and cobwebs. Coating my fingers in a sickening gray colour.

Should I chant? Like the Fair queen did when she spoke to her mirror?

"Mirror, mirror on the wall~! Take me to Heartslabyul." I wait and wait and wait.

Nothing happens and I'm confused. A deep chuckle comes from far behind me. "Hm?" I look back over my shoulder, taking in the figure of a tall green hair spectacled Heartslabyul. He's holding onto his mouth, suppressing a full laugh.

"That's not how you use it."

"I figured." I sigh, I can't deny feeling a slight creeping of embarrassment.

"Why are you trying to get there anyway?" I guess seeing me, the janitor, go to a dorm that's already taken care of is confusing beyond belief.

"I heard that Ace had gone to get a magic stone for the chandelier. Which was after class...and he has yet to return." I wonder if he even went there...

"Oh..Ace and Deuce are at the dwarfs mine."

"Dwarfs mine? How do I get there?"

"You could use the enchanted mirror."

"....Can you show me?"

He smiles and leads me to the mirror that was in the auditorium and had failed to get me home. What is this mirror called?

"Take this poor soul to Dwarfs mine." He commands in a slightly cherry voice, like this was amusing.

In a flash, he's gone from my side and I'm somewhere. Somewhere in the shadows of a wisteria. My back to the trunk and the mirror stuck on it.

I make my way outside. All that surrounds me are woods, foliage and a cottage in the far back. I suppose this is the place in which, the killers of the Fair Queen resided. This place is surprisingly unkempt for a historical location.

I suppose people don't bother with them. They're too busy with Snow White and the Fair Queen. What neglect.

I allow my legs to carry me to the cottage. Now that I'm here...I don't know what to do...

Why did I come here? Not like it was any of my business....

Now that I think about it... it's probably because my chances of surviving this life at NRC would be higher with him by my side. At least in a nutshell. It's better to be safe than sorry. Given how Crowley doesn't give two shits about me. And the students here have actual villains for role models.

I stand quietly, a few feet from the cottage. When suddenly I hear a voice- an annoying pitch-

"Yeaaaaah. Just like the time with the chandelier, right? You "found some way," and now here we are. We just fought that thing and it creamed us. So what exactly is your plan here, genius? Because I sure don't trust you to improvise!" Said the voice of Ace, huffing and puffing on the forest floor and yet still having the strength to blabber on.

"What?! You're the one who-" a Heartslabyul with blue hair stuttered, he looked like he was ready to punch a hole through Ace.

"Aaand they're at it again." Said Grim, tired.

"This is how I feel everyday, dealing with you." I mutter.

Both Ace and the blue haired Heartslabyul gasp.

"Whoa, henchman! When did ya get here??" Grim waves at me, a certain relief in his eyes.

"Anyway...what are you guys doing??“

"Well...you see..." The cyan eyed boy began.

"You lot are hopeless.." I mutter. Truly baffled by their lack of seriousness.

"Agreed, loosey Deucy here sure is hopeless." Ace mutters, a smirk on his lips.

"You little- this is why you're getting expelled!“ Deucy, I presume, shouts in rage.

"Spoken like-"

"You should work together." I mutter, trying to interject.

"Work together... Is that some kinda joke?" Ace has a mocking look on his face. "You always say the lamest things with the straightest face, Maomao."

"Agreed. No way could I work together with him." Deucy's words shock me, I can't help but roll my eyes.

"You two....just get expelled then."

"Huh?“

They both gasp, Grim looks crestfallen.

"Not like I've got any skin in the game..." I mutter, frustrated by them and with myself for bothering to come here.

They both look hesitant, as if sensing that I'm about to leave.

"W-well..." Deuce stutters.

"Gah... Fine. Let's just get this over with, then." Ace sighs in defeat.

I nod.

"Have you considered baiting the monster?"

Both of them seem confused.

"From your explanation, I would assume that the monster is quite slow. Why not making it leave the mine, venture far away and use that opportunity to steal the gem?“

Taglist: @kittycat246 @wutap @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @boredselkie @krysthalina @frostines-blog @anastasia-426 @ghostlysyntaxed @neufora @existingtoreadfanfics

[thisisawonderfulusername]

it's just us now

crowley x demon!reader x aziraphale

requested by: @cool-iguana

summary: after aziraphale leaves, you and crowley must move on.

warnings: sad :( but also comfort

a/n: i had to jump between writing this and a different fic because this was making me sad and the other was basically me kicking my feet while i giggled. that will be out soon:) for now, enjoy

you stood beside crowley's bentley, staring in silence across the street. crowley stood on the other side of the car, also unable to utter a word.

aziraphale entered the elevator that would bring him back to heaven, and you couldn't do anything but stare. your eyes had been glossed over, as if a painter had brushed on their protective coating on a finished painting. 

the car felt as if it was your grounding object. it was the only physical thing letting you know that you're here- that crowley is here. he's not leaving you too. you'll still have crowley.

part of you was hoping that your angel would change his mind. that as he took a short glance at the two of you that he would come back to you, back to his bookshop.

that you could all be together on earth, on your own side.

but his words repeat in your head, like a broken record.

"nothing lasts forever."

after the doors close, you clear your throat, forcing yourself to keep from crying. 

"well, i suppose it's just us now." you say softly, opening the passenger door and falling into your seat. 

as crowley gets into his own seat, he remains quiet for a moment. when he starts the engine, the radio began to play a nightingale sang in berkeley square.

as he swiftly turns it off, you sniffle. "we should've known being with an angel wouldn't work."

your voice is quiet, but in the silence of the car it seems so loud. 

crowley nods somberly, placing his hand over yours.

"we should've known."

the ride home was spent in silence, the only noise was the humming of the engine.

-

after a while without the angel that completed your relationship, you and crowley were able to move on.

to leave old memories behind, you managed to find a new apartment. you filled it with plants that thrived- whether it be through their fear of crowley or your green thumb. you even opened a plant nursery for something to do.

some nights, the pain would return.

you would wake from a dream of your angel, sharing a dinner or all of you cuddling on the couch with a cup of tea.

tears would be falling from your eyes when they opened, and at the smallest sound of a sniffle, crowley was awake. 

he was there to pull you into his arms and offer to make you a cup of tea in a whisper.

"i just need you," you'd tell him.

that was all he needed to hold you tight and wrap the blanket snugly around the two of you, his thumb carefully rubbing shapes into your skin to lull you to sleep.

on the rarer occasion, you would wake up to find him missing from the bed, a sliver of light filtering in through the bottom of your door.

you would carefully get out of bed, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and leaving the room to find him sitting on the couch, staring off into nothing in silence.

you would make a cup of tea before sitting down with him, sharing the blanket and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"are you okay?"

"i will be."

you'd nod, wrapping your arms around his waist and dozing off until you wake up in the morning, back in bed with crowley cuddled close. 

eventually, you'll be okay.

the remaining pain will fade away and your life will continue without aziraphale. 

taglists

good omens: none yet

crowley: none yet

aziraphale: none yet

[kingconia]

DIASOMNIA BOYS WITH OLD-FASHIONED S/O, WHO WRITES AND SENDS THEM LETTERS, INSTEAD OF USING THE PHONE

Sebek Zigvolt.

— He is so confused. Malleus is bad at technics, too, but at least he knows what the fuck phone is;

— Sebek genuinely tries to teach you how to use the phone, but you are refusing to use it, and saying that you prefer writing letters for him;

— Okay, he finds it cute now, because your letters find him in an expected moments, as a big surprise, and he starts waiting for them on the daily basis;

— But he will not write you back. Sorry, it would take too much time, and he is a busy man. But! He keeps all of your letters, and marks down topics from them that he will discuss with you in personal meeting. He is attentive, of course.

•

”Ha,” Jack smirks, leaning closer to Sebek. ”Are you reading love letters again? You are so red, it is embarrassing.”

Sebek is, indeed, flushed. He always is, when he opens your envelopes—you tuck in it his favourite flowers, and write such a beautiful things, that he can't help but feel embarrassed.

’My dear Sebek,

I hope this letters finds you well, and with your undying energy that lightens my day refilled by simple meal, or, perhaps, even a nap. And, please, accept those hyacinths. They are for you, and only. I hope you like them as much as I like you.

Today, I only wished to tell you the story of my...’

”Shut it...” He murmur to his classmate, pressing letter to his chest shyly.

The flowers you sent him would be in his hair for the rest of the day.

And no one would dare comment on that.

Lilia Vanrouge.

— Well, Lilia is more modern despite his age, so he is a little bit surprised by your strange habits. Just as Sebek, asks you if he needs to teach you how use your phone, but when you refuse, he gets over it easily;

— Your letters offer him the strangest nostalgia of the past, and he can't say if likes them, or if they are bringing up not his most pleasant memories;

— Lilia, I think, would rarely write you back. Yet, he appreciates how much you think of him. He, too, would rather send you an invitation for the little lunch date;

— Lilia doesn't keep all of your letters, but the most important ones are always tucked in his room, in the very safe place.

•

”Ah,” Lilia blinks, surprised as he notices only now, that there is letter in the pocket of his coat. ”How do you...”

He sighs.

The main mystery, of course, is how you continue to sneak on him, leaving all these letters without Lilia, actually noticing it? He has an extra hearing and sight not for nothing! What is the secret?

”Oh, dear Y/n. Here you are.”

’My ethereal snowdrop,

how had you been? Tell me, if there is something bothering you? Your students, your son, headmaster Crowley? I hope it is not, but if anything touches your peace—tell me. I will try to take care of it in the best traditions.

But until now, I am here only to speak of my own troubles as I hope you want to listen... This morning, though, started uneventfully...’

Lilia stops in the middle of the corridor, and starts reading it with the greatest attention immediately.

He already plans to find you right after finishing reading that, and comfort you in his arms after the bad day you clearly had.

Silver Vanrouge.

— He is flattered by the fact that you decide to spend your time on writing to him all these letters, and he doesn't ask you to use phone: he accepts this strangeness easily;

— Whenever he has a short nap, he wakes up with a new letter on his lap, and it is the best part of his day, to be quite honest. He also kinda puts all of your letters on the walls of his room...

— Once he decides that he wants to return your sentiment as well, and so, he asks Lilia to teach him how to write letters in his very aloof manner as you do;

— He writes not so often, but he tries really hard to do that everyday. And eventually his slightly awkward attempts became better and better.

•

'Good evening, dear and well-respected Y/n!

I genuinely apologise for writing so late this time. If it wasn't for Sebek annoying trying to teach me how to take better care of Malleus, I would finish my duties quicker.

I think, there is nothing interesting for me to tell you about. My days are all the same and your letters the only thing that makes them slightly happier. I doubt you will find it that entertaining.

So, please, tell me about yours, instead.

With love, Silver.’

Malleus Draconia.

— Finally! Finally someone as old and inexperienced in technics as him!

— Jokes aside, but Malleus is really grateful for having another old soul around. He instantly agrees on constant letters exchange with you, and he also considers it to be courting;

— You write each other so often and so much, pouring your souls in these letters, obsessively opening up each other about everything and everyone, that others are almost worried;

— Just let these poor victorian kids to flirt in their own way!

•

’...My agonising salvation, Y/n,

your letter arrived just now, and reading your poems, made my heart flatter with so much easiness as if it was the butterfly wings, clapping against the air. I had never dreamed of the day, when I would be blessed by such a treatment, and yet...’

’Oh, the malady to all of my sufferings, Malleus,

though I sent you a letter in a while, as I am still waiting for yours to return to me, I can't help but send another one, just right after, since my soul cannot bear this happiness all alone...’

”All of these... Sounds unhealthy,” Sebek mutters, confused, as the three of them stare at the desk of Malleus that is now filled completely by many letters; some of them are yours, and others are drafts of his, rewritten and scrapped down. ”Should we do something?”

”Come on,” Silver groans. ”They are just in love.”

”How can you he so easygoing when it is Malleus-sama that—”

”I think,” Lilia interrupts another possible argument between these two, ”we should just leave them alone. They are happy as they are.”

And with that, they close the doors behind them slowly.

They shouldn't had seen these letters anyway...

[unforgivable-thatswhatiam]

Somebody to love

"Crowley had lost Aziraphale, and the world was ending in a few hours. He was in Hell's bad books. Not that Hell has any other kind."

In the scene, we see Crowley making a dramatic exit, like a great tragic - queer - hero from the bookshop, magically slamming shut the doors of his sanctuary of love, a place where he would ever return, nor Aziraphale, now gone (or so he believes). He pauses for a moment, takes off his glasses — scorched by fire — and lets them fall, clarifying to himself that he’s not doing it because he’s a demon (the demons has killed is love): “I shouldn't litter, should I? I mean, I probably should litter, I'm a demon after all, but nobody's really keeping score any more.”

Now that Aziraphale is gone and the end of the world is near, nobody's really keeping score any more.

There's no point in pretending to be a “good” demon, now – he’d done that just to stay close to Aziraphale without danger.

Without him, there's no point in dreaming of escape to Alpha Centauri (A+C ❤️), even if the risk is now inevitable. There's no more reason to fight for a better life.

Without him, the very possibility of a better existence — of any life at all — is gone.

And like people who have nothing left to hope for, Crowley lets himself go, just like his glasses: he wants to lose himself, to lose consciousness, and perhaps to feel a little less of the pain of losing his angel — as he waits for the end of the world, for the Earth, and for himself.

But before we see him drown himself in entire bottles of Talisker, it's the Bentley that offers us a glimpse into Crowley’s subconscious* — even more layered than it first appears. Just like she did when Crowley believed he could save Aziraphale, she chooses a song.

* As with You’re My Best Friend, we don’t know whether it’s a Queen song Crowley likes, or if it’s only the Bentley’s choice. But she is an extension of his personality — and in the series, at least, it serves as a window into Crowley’s mind. So it seems she picks the song that best fits what’s going through the demon’s head at that moment.

The song in question is Somebody to Love. In the scene, we only hear the outro, repeating variations on the theme: (Can anybody) find me somebody to love?

We know that Crowley isn’t going out in search of someone to replace Aziraphale, though. So why this song?

It’s not the usual Queen-style classic rock, but a piece of rock gospel, inspired by Freddie Mercury’s deep admiration for Aretha Franklin. The term gospel itself refers to the word of God (see the Gospels), and the genre is rooted in Christian faith, with songs of explicitly religious inspiration. So Somebody to Love, despite the title, isn’t indeed a love song: it deals with people themes — despair, faith, the search for one's soul, and the basic human need to love and be loved. Starting to sound like someone we know?

Looking at the lyrics more closely might help us make more sense of it 😇

[Intro] Can anybody find me Somebody to love?

The intro, sung a cappella by Freddie Mercury, highlights the need to find somebody to love. The tone — both hopeful and uncertain — reveals a deep fear of failing to do so. The line is also ambivalent: it can mean too “Can someone find me somebody to love (= can someone find me worthy of being loved)? In GO this is no longer possible. Crowley had someone who loved him, who saw him as worthy of love. No one else ever will.

[Verse 1] Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little Can barely stand on my feet Take a look at yourself in the mirror and cry Take a look in the mirror and cry Lord, what you're doing to me? (Yeah, yeah) I have spent all my years in believin' you But I just can't get no relief, Lord

[Chorus] (…) [Verse 2] I work hard (He works hard) every day of my life I work 'till I ache my bones At the end (At the end of the day) I take home My hard-earned pay all on my own (Goes home, goes home on his own) I get down (Down) on my knees (Knees) and I start to pray (Praise the Lord) 'Till the tears run down from my eyes, Lord

The protagonist of the song is a grand, tragic romantic and everyday hero: he does everything he’s supposed to, even when it’s too much for him — and each day, he dies a little. He’s exhausted, wounded, depressed. Barely holding himself together. He can’t even look in the mirror without crying. He’s frustrated, because he’s always believed in God, always prayed Him — but finds no relief. What is God doing to him?

“The God who claims to love you, who demands your praise…”

It could certainly be Crowley: he was a good angel, did everything he was asked, and was cast down to Hell, into "a pool of boiling sulphur", for his associations (with other angels!), a bit of critical thinking, and asking questions.

Even then, he always did his duty, trying not to truly harm anyone (only to irritate humans). He continued to speak with God, praise Her, pray to Her, and seek comfort, but never received a response.

He’s desperate because he’s made unforgivable for something that shouldn’t even need to be forgiven. Because he couldn’t live freely the one thing that made him happy, and he couldn’t protect his love. And God, who had already taken away his innocence and happiness as an angel, took it from him again.

And he cries ��� hidden behind his sunglasses, so no one can see — just as he does in the car, on the way to the bar.

A note: in the Judeo-Christian faith, being good and doing everything God asks — in the Old Testament, a not necessarily good or just God — is not a guarantee of receiving favorable or even good treatment (see Job). But Freddie Mercury was Zoroastrian. The creator he believed in, Ahura Mazda, represents the good and demands goodness (good thoughts, good words, good deeds) to win the cosmic battle against evil, represented by the spirit Ahriman, with the promise of a happy life both in this world and in the afterlife.

[Chorus] (…) [Bridge] (He works hard) everyday (Everyday) I try and I try and I try But everybody wants to put me down They say I'm going crazy They say I got a lot of water in my brain I got no common sense (He's got) I got nobody left to believe No, no, no, no

The narrator feels frustration even in the environment around him: no one respects him, everyone brings him down, they think he’s crazy. And he has no one to believe in, no one to love.

Without Aziraphale, what does Crowley have left? The first verse makes me think of when Crowley was explaining his plan on the M25 to the demons at headquarters. No one in Hell has imagination, the demons don’t understand him, they think he’s “gone native" or crazy (he doesn’t have their "common sense"). The angels hate him, and they’re boring and snooty, bees. Without Aziraphale, what can he believe in? What’s left for him?

[Guitar solo] [Chorus] (Ooh, ooh, ooh, Lord)

(…) [Verse 3] Got no feel, I got no rhythm I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing) I'm okay, I'm alright (He's alright, he's alright) I ain't gonna face no defeat (Yeah, yeah) I just gotta get out of this prison cell (One day) Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord

[Outro] Find me somebody to love (...) Can anybody find me Somebody to love? (...) Find me, find me, find me, find me

After a new invocation to God, we see that the sad and depressed hero of the song feels inadequate, lacking sensitivity ("don’t you feel it?... Flashes of love") and rhythm. He keeps losing.

But this is a Queen song: there’s still hope! No matter how depressed and convinced he is of having many limitations, against all evidence, the narrator’s pessimism turns into determination. One day, he will free himself from this prison, from this unhappy life. With true love.

Even Crowley feels inadequate, as we see many times, though he pretends to have self-esteem and confidence he doesn’t really possess.

He has lost so many times to be able to be optimistic, to be aware of his own abilities: Aziraphale is the only one who has healed his wounds, who truly knows him, who believes in him and convinces him that he can do things he never thought possible. And he has lost him.

In this scene, in my opinion, the choice of the song is meant to convey Crowley’s despair and depression, whose determination lies in the fact that he will free himself from this life, which, without Aziraphale, has become a prison with no way out. And he awaits that moment with the last pleasure he has left: alcohol.

Then the outro comes, where the main vocals and the chorus seem to slowly fall asleep, exhausted from having fully opened themselves to the audience. And indeed, Crowley puts on his new "protective" sunglasses over the last "love" sung by Freddie Mercury, followed by -bodies, closing both the song and the scene.

However, the choice of this song for us, the audience, also offers another interpretation: we know that the song is optimistic, and the hero will do everything to find his "someone to love". And just a few minutes later, he will discover that it is still possible 💞

[actual-changeling]

There is no gun to his head.

I don't know where that notion came from or why so many people are suddenly convinced it is true, but I rewatched the last episode and especially the final fifteen over and over again and it's not real.

So. Let's have a look at the facts, and I mean facts, as in what we see on screen and what we can generally all agree on happens—no metas, no headcanons, just pure canon.

Aziraphale and Crowley just witnessed Gabriel and Beez go off together. They are free, there are no consequences for them, they left and have no interest in returning.

This tells them two things: Any threats from hell or heaven regarding their relationship are void under the current conditions. Hell is understaffed and dealing with its own problems, and heaven is a mess in a different but equally disabling way. The second thing, or rather the consequences of the first, is that they can do the same.

Let that sink in because so many people seem to completely forget about what that scene signifies outside of being a "relationship mirror". There are no consequences when a demon and an angel go off together. In the end, they weren't stopped, everyone kinda sighed and went well, we have our own problems, so they might as well leave.

Now, when the Metatron talks to Aziraphale, that scene is fresh in his mind, it literally just happened. The threat is gone, he does not want to return to heaven in that moment because he is processing what it means for the two of them.

Then, the Metatron offers him the jackpot: Aziraphale gets to fix heaven—make a difference, as he likes to put it—and have Crowley back as an angel. Aziraphale still thinks heaven is fundamentally good and thus the best place to be; angels, the two of them, how great! All of his moral problems have been solved, and, let me stress this over and over, there is no threat.

The Metatron LITERALLY just proved to him that he won't punish angel/demon relationships—he stopped Michael from punishing them. In Aziraphale's eyes, he is the knight in shining armour, threats wouldn't even be necessary.

Additionally, and I have repeated this so many times it has become tedious, Aziraphale does not know about the second coming. He doesn't. The Metatron tells him in front of the elevator, not a second earlier.

To summarize

he has tangible proof that angel/demon relations won't be punished

the Metatron has proven himself to be an ally and trustworthy

there is no dawning apocalypse

Crowley can come back to heaven with him

In conclusion, every single one of Aziraphale's problems disappears. Threats—threats over WHAT?

Do you really think the Metatron would immediately contradict himself and destroy any tentative trust Aziraphale has? Do you think he would jeopardize the blind fearlessness he develops as soon as he mentions the Crowley part of the deal?

Everyone always calls him an evil mastermind, just to turn around and paint him as the dumbest figure imaginable. He knows what he is doing.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley about the decision he has made for them, his voice is genuinely soft. It's real joy, no hidden messages, no nothing. Have you recently re-listened to it? Because I have.

"He said I could appoint you to be an angel."

That happiness and excitement is real, it just is. I rewatched it over and over and I tried to see any hidden meanings, I really did, but he's simply happy. That's all.

Everyone is completely free to have their own theories, you can disagree with my meta thoughts all you want, that's what fandom is for!

But I am so bloody tired of getting "well, actually there was a gun to his head" on every. single. post. that I make about the final fifteen. There was no gun.

You can put one into the Metatron's hands all you like, but it is not canon. It just isn't.

[allykakamatsu]

So, to give you a little taste of the Yuu I'm working on, and also cause it seemed like fun, here's my addition to @quartztwst 's MagiKey AU

(Note, pronouns are they/them but will accept others)

Questions and answers:

Section 1 - Your OC Answers!

1. How does it feel to be a MagiKey user?

Yuu: "Stressful, to put it mildly, but I'm glad to be doing good."

2. How popular are you in MagiKey rankings?

Yuu: "I... like to think I'm not dead last?."

3. Which MagiKey would you rather have than your own?

Yuu: "That's pretty hard to say because I'm very happy with my own. If I had to choose though.... probably Risu's @oya-oya-okay

4. Why did you become a MagiKey user?

Yuu: "To make a long story short, I was at the park feeding the birds like I tend to when I have free time, but I noticed one was a tad strange looking and looked hungrier than the other. I gave him some extra seeds and well, turns out the bird was Crowley and not long after I had a key."

5. How long have you been in MagiKey

Yuu: "About half a year now, I'm not the oldest but I am getting better."

Section 2 - You explain!

6. What is their motivation to keep being a magical user?

Yuu's always been a kind and determined person who's always wanted to help others, plus they grew up on stories of knights and heroes, so once they were given a Key they didn't have any reason to object.

7. How are they usually in a battle?

Yuu is very much a frontline fighter, staying on the frontlines to duel with the Magikey's foes up close and to take hits for their frailer teammates. This goes well, however Yuu is also inexperienced compared to a lot of the other Magikey users, and combine that with their recklessness and they have a bad habit of over exerting themself and getting hurt in the process.

With their first ability, they summon a small whistle and use it to call upon all the birds in the area to help. This ranges in effectiveness depending on what is around but if nothing else they can all go for the opponents eye's with either poop or beaks.

Their second ability, they can reach into any rock, whether it be a tiny pebble or an actual mountain, and from it can pull out a sword that radiates a light aura, making it effective at combatting the forces of darkness.

In her final ability, they can send out a massive barrier that will block most attacks and send them back to the sender, however it takes a lot out of them and depending on how strong the attack was they're even in danger of transforming back to civilian mode after using it.

8. How are their daily lives?

Yuu's life isfairly normal. They don't have many friends so most of their free time is spent either at the park or at the local animal shelter volunteering. At home they get along well with their father and two older brothers, but the night terrors they used to have in childhood have been returning which they're desperate to hide along with their magical secret.

9. What is their opinion on other MagiKey users in general?

Yuu thinks they're all amazing, fighting the forces of darkness on the regular. Some have them raising their eyebrows but for the most part they're a fan.

Section 3 - Deeper Level (might get emo)

10. What are your OC's struggles as a MagiKey user?

Yuu is still pretty new to being a Magikey user so they haven't experienced the worst that the job has to offer. Their tendency to get hurt during fights does frequently make them feel insecure about their power however they are trying to get a hold on it.

That being said, despite the fact they haven't seen it yet, they've heard the rumours. Dead MagiKey users dying trying to protect others. The fate of Key users who fall to corruption. The older MagiKey users try not to talk about it much to not scare younger kids like them, but Yuu's heard it all.

They're admittedly in denial about it. Like, there's no way it's that bad, right? There has to be some over exaggerating going on here. However, despite this, deep down Yuu know's it's all true, and the fear of meeting a similar fate may be the cause of their night terror's returning.

11. What is their favorite color?

Yellow is a colour they associate with birds so it's Yuu's favourite.

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[ao3cassandraic]

As far as they can

At the end of the Job minisode, Crowley inaugurates Their Side by proclaiming Aziraphale "an angel who goes along with Heaven... as far as he can," parallel to his own stated relationship with Hell.

Only it... doesn't actually work that way. Their exactlies are different exactlies.

Crowley defies and lies to Hell as often as he thinks he can get away with it. He never disabuses Downstairs of their misconceptions about his contributions to human atrocities. He cheerfully lies in his reports Downstairs, something Aziraphale briefly turns on his Baritone of Sarcastic Disapproval about in s1. Crowley even turns evil homeopathic in the latter part of the 20th century, likely in hopes that it will look good to head office while accomplishing essentially nothing. (This, of course, is another way he Crowleys himself, both with the London phone system and the M25.) After Eden, Crowley's default given an assignment from Hell is to see how he can subvert it.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, defies Her and Heaven as little as he possibly can. Sometimes, as with his sword giveaway, his compassion gets the better of his anxiety. Sometimes, as with Job's children in the destruction of the villa, he can try to stay within the letter of the law by leaving the defiance to Crowley.

His default, however, is "'m 'nangel. I can't dis- diso -- not do what 'm told." This comes out most often as respect for the Great/Divine Plan, which to him is sacrosanct. He sounds quite sincere in s1 when he says "Even if I wanted to help I couldn’t. I can’t interfere with the Divine Plan."

Aziraphale quite frequently Good Angels along by parroting Heaven's party line, whether it's "it'll all be rather lovely" or "I am good, you (I'm afraid) are evil" or droning on about evil containing the seeds of its own destruction, or condemning Elspeth's graverobbing as "wicked" (a stance he offers absolutely no reasoned support for, no logic, no "but She said," not a word -- that's very Heaven; most of Heaven's angels have the approximate brainpower of paramecia). Maestro Michael Sheen even has a particular voice cadence -- I think of it as Sententious Voice -- he uses when Aziraphale is thoughtlessly party-lining.

When the angel's conscience wars with his sense of Heaven's orthodoxy but (and this is an important but) he can't feasibly resist whatever's wrong, he offers strengthless party-line justifications he clearly doesn't agree with (as with the "rain bow" in Mesopotamia) or resorts to a Nuremberg defense: "I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crowley!" Once or twice, he's even vocally aware of Heavenly hypocrisy: "Unless… [guns]'re in the right hands, where they give weight to a moral argument… I think." This isn't Sententious Voice. It's I-can't-disobey-and-I-hate-that voice.

But at base, the angel prefers obedience (not least because it's vastly safer), and he'd rather have someone else do his moral reasoning for him. Honestly? Pretty relatable. I know lots of people like this -- hell's bells, I've been this person, though I grew out of it somewhat -- and I daresay you do too. Moral reasoning is hard and often lonely (since it can be read as self-righteousness or even hypocrisy) and acting as it dictates can hurt. Nobody would need ethics codes if The Right Thing was also invariably The Convenient Thing.

Many GO fans find these Aziraphalean traits frustrating! Especially his repeated returns to parroting Heaven orthodoxy! Sometimes I do too! (Not least because I'm rather protective of my own integrity, and it's cost me quite a few times. I'm well-known in professional circles for picking up a rhetorical spear and tilting at the nearest iniquitous windmill. I often lose, but I sure do keep tilting. Every once in a blue moon I actually win one.)

The key, I think, to giving our angel a little grace on this (beyond honoring the gentle compassion that is pretty basic to his character) is noticing how often he can be induced to abandon an unconsidered Heavenish default stance. As irritating as his default is, and as consistently as he returns to it, it's not really that hard to talk him out of it. Crowley, of course, is tremendously good at knocking Aziraphale away from his default -- he's had to be. But Aziraphale even manages to talk himself away from his default once, in the form of the Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase!

I think the character-relevant point of the Resurrectionist minisode is making this breaking-the-Heavenish-default dynamic as clear as the contents of the pickled-herring barrel aren't. "That's lunatic!" Crowley exclaims, when Aziraphale Sententious Voicedly parrots Heaven's garbage about poverty providing extra opportunities for goodness. Aziraphale isn't quite ready to let go yet, replying "It's ineffable."

But Dalrymple (who, I think, parallels Heaven, perhaps even the Metatron -- there could be something decent there, but it's buried too deep under scorn and clueless privilege for any graverobber-of-souls to dig it out) manages to break Aziraphale's orthodoxy by explaining the child's tumor.

Once released from his orthodoxy, Aziraphale can't be trusted to handle moral reasoning well; his moral-reasoning ability is not-uncommonly (though not always) portrayed as vitiated. When he gives Elspeth the go-ahead to dig up more bodies, his excuses are just as vacuous as they were when he was convinced of her wickedness. He knows that he's crossed Heaven's line, too, and just as at Eden it's worrying him. That's why he has to talk to Crowley to nerve himself up to help Wee Morag... only he spends too much time talking, and it's too late.

But Crowley can then talk him into bankrolling Elspeth toward a better life. Aziraphale doesn't even put up any fight, both because he's compassionate and because Crowley is temporarily taking the place of Heaven (he's even Heaven-sized and staring down at them!) as the angel's moral compass.

S1 has an even worse example of Aziraphale's moral wavering, actually. Crowley yells "Shoot him, Aziraphale!" and Aziraphale sure does try to murder Adam. Again, he's adopting his morals from the nearest (and loudest) convenient source. Madame Tracy, thankfully, has enough of a moral backbone to save our angel from himself and Crowley.

(With my ersatz-ethicist hat on: this is a fight between utilitarianism and deontology. Crowley is the utilitarian, which is actually a bit of a departure for him, but he's admittedly desperate. Madame Tracy is the deontologist: One Doesn't Kill Children. Aziraphale is caught in the middle.)

I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason we start s3 with Aziraphale and Crowley separated is so that Aziraphale finally has to do his own moral reasoning, without Crowley's nudges. I don't think it'll be easy for him. It will absolutely be lonely. And it may well hurt.

But I will watch for it, because it's how he will become his own angel, independent of Heaven and even of Crowley. And he must do that.

[fellthemarvelous]

This is just an idea that keeps rattling around in my head. If anyone else has a unique perspective to add to this, feel free to do so.

Is season three setting us up for Grand Duke of Hell Crowley?

Aziraphale has taken up the position of Supreme Archangel vacated by Gabriel.

And in the first episode we see Beelzebub throwing offers at Crowley just to get their hands on Gabriel (although at that point we don't understand why). Beelzebub even tells him that he can be a Duke of Hell.

It's not a position that Crowley wants, but is that what makes him the right choice for said position?

Heaven and Hell are both equally terrible, but Hell has never been anything other than what it was set up to be. Crowley wants nothing to do with it. He's never played by Hell's rules. It's a place of evil. Crowley doesn't have the capacity for the kind of evil Hell is looking for. He loves humanity just as much as Aziraphale does.

And Aziraphale, for all his misgivings about what Heaven is, is not actually blind to how corrupt it is. He chooses to go back because he is adamant that he can make a difference. He thought he would be able to make that difference with Crowley by his side, but Crowley can never and will never return to Heaven (unless it's to break in and cause problems).

But Hell needs to change as well. Hell is just as desperate as Heaven is to go to war and destroy the Earth and all of humanity.

And if Crowley takes up the mantle of Grand Duke of Hell, that would put him at odds with Aziraphale (and Heaven but we know he doesn't care about that part), but he and Aziraphale have spent the past 6,000 years together and can find a way for Heaven and Hell to meet in the middle and discover their own shades of gray. They have the power to bring about change at the top and the bottom.

Which is probably why the Metatron wanted to separate them in the first place. Together they are incredibly powerful. But the Metatron's greatest achievement at the end of season two might end up being the mistake that causes his downfall during season three.

Because no matter how explosive their break-up was, they still love each other, and they will always find their way back to each other.

And perhaps the systems will remain the same even when all is said and done, but they can shake things up for both sides and make them see that they too have the option of free will. They can have everything the humans have, but they have to see that it's possible.

And the only ones who can show them this path are Aziraphale and Crowley.

But in order for things to change, Crowley and Aziraphale will have to stand on opposite sides before joining together to help save humanity. And maybe they will have a small army of angels and demons who choose to follow them because what Crowley and Aziraphale have is so much more enticing than an eternity of working in miserable conditions and planning another war that involves the destruction of humanity.

And maybe that's how the Ineffable Plan is fulfilled. Maybe Aziraphale and Crowley are the keys to pulling it off. Maybe God and Satan paired them up for their own amusement, but also to see if it was possible for demons and angels to ultimately accept humanity and realize that they actually have the ability to make their own choices as well.

I don't know. I have so many ideas about where season three might take us. I'm not sure how I feel about this one because season two gave us so many possibilities for how this will ultimately end.

That particular moment in 2x1 has me wondering if Crowley will reluctantly agree to become Grand Duke of Hell.

It also doesn't help that Michael Sheen referred to Crowley as the thin dark Duke. I'm way too obsessed with this show.

I just really love my Ineffable Idiot Husbands.

[tonydaddingham]

the s2 endgame

an incredibly long post that i will not apologise for but does contain multiple frames of michael sheens face, so-

the first beat, for me, that truly leads up to the kiss is when aziraphale says to crowley, "i don't think you understand what im offering you." because whilst im sure in part aziraphale was referring to the offer of restoration and - as he perceived it - what it meant for crowley (and that's what crowley denied with "i understand. i think i understand a whole lot better than you do."), i think aziraphale truly meant that crowley didn't understand what the restoration could give them. to restore crowley meant that aziraphale could give all of himself to crowley, with no fear of reprisal or comeuppance like they've had to suffer for their entire existence; "pretending that we aren't".

it meant that they could be safe, together, as two angels, and not on opposite sides in the eyes of heaven. they could work together to make things better, but they would be together. crowley was completely justified in refusing the offer, based on his own trauma and pain that heaven unforgivably dealt to him, but aziraphale wasn't necessarily asking crowley to forget or forgive that; but instead to be with aziraphale, aziraphale completely as he is with nothing hidden, nothing repressed, and nothing sequestered away in fear of retribution from heaven - or indeed in fear of rejection from crowley.

so when crowley said he understood more than aziraphale did, i imagine that meant to aziraphale that crowley did indeed see all of that, had heard aziraphale and knew what aziraphale was offering, the security and freedom as aziraphale saw it, but didn't want it - didnt want aziraphale, didn't want that version of us - anyway. crowley didn't mean it that way, of course; he meant he knew that the restoration would trap him, try to make him into an angel he no longer knew or wanted to be, and was rejecting what he thought aziraphale wanted him to be.

but i personally can't conceive any notion where aziraphale would ever have thought this - he's fallen for the not-quite-angel-not-quite-demon that crowley is now - why can't crowley see that? he just wants to give him back the same peace and joy that he had before the fall, but naively cant understand that being an angel doesn't make it so. it's not about being an angel, for aziraphale, but what being an angel could return to crowley... that it could fix the wounds that the fall left behind.

but here we arrive at "no nightingales". given the symbolism in popular culture and in mythology behind the nightingale, and the context of the nightingale in their story, it seems to me like crowley is saying that the conversation that has just transpired between them has broken something. and really broken something. it hasn't broken the love, per se - that's still there - but it's led to their own personal tragedy. their conflicting wants and needs have led to the downfall. that in crowley's eyes, there isn't a way to repair the damage that has been done. he doesn't even qualify that it's 'no nightingales singing', but the full absence of them, meaning that this has changed - poisoned - every chance of what could have been.

"we could have been us" compounds this; that in crowley's mind, there is no possibility of this now. that he knows what aziraphale will decide, what he will choose, and knows that he has already lost; and he's placing all of it at aziraphale's feet. that if the only way to see them be together is to be restored, to return to heaven, then crowley can't and will not do it - he doesn't understand why aziraphale would even entertain the thought and sees it as a reflection of aziraphale's distain for his current self.

aziraphale however sees it as an opportunity to ensure that they are safe in perpetuity, and wants to reverse the fall because the happiness and joy that he saw before is what he wants for crowley now, not realising that the two are, as of now, currently incompatible. so this line is, for aziraphale, the final deathblow; that there is no way back from this, the chance has faded to nothing even if the love between them remains - and they'll never get back the 'us' that existed before the event, let alone the 'us' that they both want now.

the wave hits aziraphale and bowls him over, makes him stagger. what he has been wanting - but couldn't initiate out of fear - is now completely impossible and will never happen. his face crumples, and he turns away, mirrors crowley in not looking at him, not letting him see the vulnerability and the sorrow. he looks to the left, into the dark and away from the light, into the space where crowley normally stands, always by his side, and not on the other side of the chasm that has now erupted between them.

but crowley does sees the face, and recognises it. he's seen it before, seen the expression of when aziraphale hears his sentence and resigns himself to his fate, and despairs in kind that this rift of both of their makings has put in on aziraphale's face. but he also sees it as a mark of hope; can I change his mind? can I offer him something that I haven't offered yet? he can feel the last burning embers of doubt, and he could stoke it. build to a full fire, to an inferno. words haven't worked, they never work - "it's always too late" - but in this case, just one time, action might. so then crowley - oh, crowley - makes up his mind. he has to know, whatever happens, that he did everything that he could possibly do to cling to this dream, this fairytale, where they might get to be together.

and it's pure desperation and determination, the swan dive off the cliff not knowing how far it'll be until he reaches the bottom. there's the smallest chance he might catch an updraft and fly. but the kiss - whether he intends it that way or not - is a temptation. and he's so good at that, isn't he? he tempted aziraphale into eating, he tempted him into dispatching a child... he knows he can do it, and he knows that aziraphale can succumb to it (whether it's because angels can in fact be tempted by demons, or because aziraphale can be tempted by crowley). he has nothing else to lose, but everything to gain, and that everything is slipping through his fingers, "you can't leave this bookshop", so what does it matter if he tries to keep aziraphale in the last way he knows how?

and even then this time, it's more; it's physical, it's raw, and it's human. their common ground. he's the serpent of eden, he tempted eve to the apple, he brought about the fall of humanity. crowley has gone beyond tempting aziraphale with sly words, assurances, and logic; this time, he's putting everything into it, giving it his all, so neither of them can ever say he didn't try. temptation was literally his first order, his first command; his most powerful and yet destructive capability. and each one, on aziraphale's part, has led to manifestly chipping away at aziraphale's divinity, his angelic core. each one has made aziraphale into the person he is today, the person that crowley loves, so whilst it may not be the right thing to do, it's the best chance he has to reach him.

so crowley grabs him, wheels him round to face him, and pulls aziraphale into him. there are no words, there's no gentleness, there's no finesse; it's practically animal, carnal and rough, and everything that - in all likelihood - neither of them wanted when they imagined how this moment would be, if it ever came. and throughout the whole thing, crowley does not move. his grip does not lessen, his mouth does not move, his expression does not falter; it's like he's serpentine again in all but form, constricting and gripping his prey into subjugation. it's instinctive, and unconscious, probably involuntary, but it leaves aziraphale with such little room, no space to breathe.

aziraphale visibly seems to struggle - somewhat physically, but certainly emotionally and mentally - and we can see that predominantly in his expression. he at least almost seems like he's trying to pull away, or create some space between them. it's not how he likely imagined their first kiss - if they ever got to have one and if aziraphale indeed ever imagined it - to be; it's not right, and it certainly doesn't feel like love. love may be behind the wheel, but what is slamming into him in possession, and anguish. i can't believe that aziraphale doesn't know or feel that, not going by the way he reacts. there's also the fact that - as far as we've seen - the last time crowley gripped him by the lapels and got this close to him was at tadfield manor, when crowley was all but raging at him, "im not nice, im never nice; nice is a four-letter word". it's an unmistakable parallel, and it may be that that four-letter word is swapped out for another one, it certainly doesn't feel like it in the moment.

but then aziraphale relaxes, rocks back towards crowley, and returns it. he grips at his back, at the space where resides his wings, and gives back crowley what he's asking for. it might be that aziraphale is trying to be kind - giving him the confirmation that he returns his love even if he can't act on it - or it might be because aziraphale actually realises that he likes it, this kiss, and the brutality of it. it might even be that he knows that this may be his only chance to show crowley that it's reciprocated; that he feels the same way. but it may also be, in addition to any or indeed all of the above, that aziraphale subconsciously succumbs to the temptation. gripped and bound, with nowhere to go, he surrenders to his fate - the freefall - and allows himself for a moment to sink. but then he steps back out of it, reins himself in, lifts his hands again from crowley, and crowley finally lets go.

crowley lets go, and stands back to see what it might have changed. did he tempt him, did he succeed? will his angel stay? it felt like he will, he felt his hands and how he surrendered - he didn't imagine it - and it might have worked in crowley's favour. it worked with the ox. it worked with the antichrist. there's no reason it wouldn't work this time, right?

until aziraphale steps back. he steps back, places that distance, the chasm, between them again, and looks for all the world that the heavens have caved in, crashing and splintering all around them. a look of utter despair, almost a plea that what happened didn't happen, because it changes everything. it puts what can't happen into the open, makes it more than the abstract. it's longing, and it's sorrow, and it's heartbreak that this could have been what they'd have.

but the fog starts to lift, the shock has settled in, and horror sweeps over; it's disbelief that crowley made that move, and made it in the way he did. it's waking up, coming-to, reality starts to seep back in. it's looking down at the board, and seeing a check on the king, a challenge that aziraphale never saw coming -

- and then it almost becomes fear and panic, backed into a corner, and not necessarily because someone could have seen them, or because crowley has now put something fundamentally physical to what they are (although i believe these could also be contributory to his reaction), but it's the dread of having to refuse and deny what crowley has put out between them, dangling between their fingers waiting to be held.

aziraphale begins to bargain, starts to try reconciling what just happened, and whether anything can be salvaged. he's had a tiny piece of what their future could hold for them, and he has a decision to make. he starts wavering, starts to oscillate between the decision to follow his head and do what he feels is the right thing in the long-term, or arguably betray the person he has become over the millennia, deny himself what he thinks is the right thing, and instead follow his heart; grasp at crowley, and the future he laid out before him.

he looks to crowley for guidance, he's lost, suddenly unanchored in a churning maelstrom. trying to gauge what move he should take - does he surrender the king, or move it to evade the check?

either decision means that the game is up or is only a matter of time before it folds; he either risks their safety by staying, or risks losing crowley by going. there isn't another option, there isn't another way, and aziraphale is teetering between the two. neither are options that he wholeheartedly wants to take. he begins to trying to speak, trying to get out words that are choking him, trapped in the snare of Things Unsaid. words to explain, to placate, to beseech, to plead, and it starts to really hurt.

and what hurts about it the most is that he's about to deny crowley. in the full scene - you can't get it from just the frames - his expression is complete heartbreak. he wants to explain why, even now, when he wants to stay more than anything, he has to choose heaven. why he has to choose to continue evading the check, why he has to continue to fight. and it's the prospect of hurting crowley in the process, of prolonging the pain, that is tearing him apart.

except. except. he's just realised what crowley was doing. it was desperation, and fear for losing aziraphale, and a last ditch attempt to cling to what they have and what they could have. all of these thing, out of love.

but what aziraphale realises is that it was manipulation. it was temptation. this one means something deeper, something darker, because to aziraphale it was calling him to betray who he truly is. and suggests that who he truly is isn't enough.

his gaze flicks up from the floor, and he finally makes full eye contact, staring crowley down. it's disbelief all over again; that crowley would resort to that trick, the trick that crowley knows is aziraphale's personal, heartfelt weakness, and one that he will - and demonstrably always has - succumbed to.

it's the disbelief that crowley would take this power and use it to mold and ply aziraphale into staying, when crowley should know that going - to "make a difference" - is the most aziraphale thing he could do. if crowley loves him, exactly as he is, why would he try to make aziraphale betray that?

the anger, the sense of betrayal, sets in, and spreads like hellfire. it relaxes his face, almost bringing him an eerie serenity. because he's seen that not only does he have to break the check (tirelessly continuing the chess metaphor), but he's going to fight back. he's seen that he can instead take the piece threatening him, and checkmate in kind.

it's the scorched earth option, but one that will demonstrate that he's not one to falter under the eyes of a challenge; he will stand his ground, roots digging into the earth, and will not be moved. he takes a breath, about to move his piece that will end the game. it will make crowley lose, but it was lost already; the game was up as soon as he told aziraphale he understood what aziraphale was offering him. because whilst crowley was talking about a place in heaven, aziraphale was talking about us.

and to aziraphale's mind, crowley was so unwilling to hear him, so ready to reject whatever narrative meant he would have to love aziraphale more than he hated heaven, that crowley would stoop to essentially trying to trick aziraphale into staying. into betraying who he is at his core.

instead, aziraphale steels himself; he knows who he is, and he will be enough. the acceptance of the situation, what it will mean when he 'wins', will do something unspeakable, but it must be done. he has to show his own claws, show how much it hurt. aziraphale takes a breath, even has a small smirk, and places the final piece.

"i forgive you."

[aziraphales-library]

HI THERE! You do such amazing work, thank you so much!

I was just wondering if there were any chef aus out there? Any tags/rating! Thanks!

Hello, here are some chef fics...

Sometimes it's cosmic, sometimes it's cocktail weiners by myladyclegane (M)

All executive chef Anthony J Crowley wanted was a cider and some time with the girls(of the Golden variety) after his double shift, what he gets is playing savior when his best friend and next door neighbor (and desperate crush) has to unexpectedly host a last minute game night for his awful co-workers.

As Sweet As This by vantablck (G)

One moment, Crowley had a high position at a top Michelin rated restaurant. The next, her career was taking a metaphorical million light-year dive into a lake of boiling sulfur and she was moving back into her small childhood town. Cue Aziraphale, the childhood best friend she’s been pining over since time immemorial. Cue Crowley’s oh so brilliant idea of co-owning a restaurant with her.

Hell's kitchen, heaven's chef by Sani86 (T)

Crowley is a high-strung chef - one of London's best - but his boss Beez is fed up with his tricks. So they hire a mild-mannered blonde chef to keep him in line. Crowley hates the guy. Except that he doesn't, not even a little. --- Human AU, in which they are chefs and idiots.

Trivia Night: A Love Story by MissUnderstoodLyrics (E)

No angst, all fluff and fluffy smut! Crowley just moved to the States and has already been roped into the pub trivia competition for all of the King Street businesses, which they take very seriously. He just wants to work and go home to his cat and his plants, but the promise of free drinks lures him to the first game, where he meets a gorgeous, witty, mischievous angel, and suddenly trivia night doesn't seem quite so bad. A Good Omens Human AU

Recipe For Romance by ranguvar82 (M)

Anthony Crowley would love nothing more than to enjoy a good meal once in a while. Unfortunately, when you're an agoraphobic with severe food allergies, your choices are limited to private chefs. Too bad Crowley's fired every single one. Enter Aziraphale Fell, known for being able to create gourmet meals for even the most discerning palate. Crowley's expecting him to be like every other chef. He's not expecting an angel that will turn his world upside down. Aziraphale has a recipe for everything. Even, maybe, for romance.

Till I Saw You by curiouswriterkr (E)

Crowley is a burned out chef recovering from adrenal fatigue in Tadfield. Aziraphale, a gifted musician with a big, soft heart, happens to be performing one evening at an open mic. Their eyes collide and inevitably, so do their lives, helping each other step into healing, truth and more joy.

Style and Substance by Cabernet_Woebegone (E)

“But y’know, if my boss finds out I’m helping you even a little, they’re gonna throw me out on my ass.” “Yes, I understand it is a bit of a conflict of interest for you… Is there something I can offer you in return? Something you would like?” Aziraphale questioned hopefully. You, Crowley thought loudly as he took a second sip. I want to know if you moan when you kiss the same way you do when you try something delicious. I want to know if your lips taste like Zinfandel. “Yes, actually.” Aziraphale is having difficulty running his restaurant, and it isn't helping that he believes the place across the street is trying to sabotage him. To his surprise, chef Crowley comes to him on friendly terms. Together they come up with an arrangement that could benefit them both. (Explicit rating for chapters 10 , 14 & 17, see tags for description. Please do not record this as a podfic or repost this fic anywhere! Thank you!)

- Mod D

[honeyhonest]

Not exactly a request, just curious about your opinion. okay so, with the context of Crowley having never had or considered a relationship with anyone ever because he's been so chronically lonely for centuries (romance, sex, even friendship at this point) and who doesn't really understand the weird tension there is between him and the -also very lonely and alienated- prefect (made even worse by how he's constantly seeking them out and justifying it to himself by how useful it is to have a handyman indebted to/dependant on him to do his chores); obviously the 'send the alien back home' project has long been forgotten. So what happens when the prefect comes to tell him they found a way back home themselves and bid their final goodbyes?

canon answer - he lets it happen. crowley is a man used to disappointment, familiar with the feeling of doing things for the greater good. he lets the finer details slip through his fingers all the time, what would make this any different? some delusional, fairytale fantasy about being loved? he's not even sure if he believes in such a thing. there is only work and not-work in crowley's life, and "love" doesn't fit neatly into either of those categories. it's for the better that the prefect return to their world; this was always how it was going to end anyway. you did your job, he did his

and yet, still, he's never the same after. his personal life doesn't return to normal, and neither does his work; even the students of night raven college can feel the difference. he's a lot less talkative, sometimes much MORE talkative than he was before, but with even less of a point. it sounds more like he's conversing with himself, filling in the answers in place of the prefect

fanon answer - he sexily manipulates you into staying by holding everything over your head: the boy will miss you. the school needs you. you aren't going to leave grim, are you? he's never a part of the equation, always pretending that he's some bias-less beneficiary for the others. he'll keep you distracted, piling chore upon chore, throwing goodbye parties and pushing back the deadline for all of his dirty laundry. once you're worn down and pliable, he'll make some sort of move, at least to convince you to stay in some "heartfelt" monologue about how the school has changed for the better since you arrival. could anything back home offer you what he has? friendship, safety, a full education at the school of your dreams, and a guaranteed future job as his spouse assistant? what does "home" have to offer that he cannot? you have a family here!

he'll find some way to secretly sabotage the spell; he'll destroy the book it came from, he'll throw the magical artifact to the bottom of the sea, he'll bribe your friends to keep their mouths shut. and he'll make himself the hero of all of it, comforting you, wiping your tears and cooing that there's nothing that can be done. maybe it wasn't meant to be, hm? but don't you worry! crowley will take care of you forever, if he must