#even when Crowley is offering nothing in return

[ineffectualbookseller]

It just really GRINDS MY GEARS the way Crowley is keeping so much from Aziraphale this season but also I TOTALLY understand why he's doing it

The thing is we saw Aziraphale keep a huge secret from Crowley in season 1 after he got his hands on the Nice and Accurate Prophecies and went to heaven with the information about Adam rather than telling Crowley, but then we saw him grow from that mistake. He realized how wrong a decision that was and that's why he's SO committed to them working as a team in season 2. The way he immediately goes to Crowley when Gabriel shows up and keeps him updated whenever he talks to heaven and even calls from Edinburgh to tell him about the new Clue (and maybe to brag a little because he's feeling proud)

and YEAH Aziraphale lies. I'm not saying he doesn't. He's a liar. Lies to himself, to heaven, to hell, to god's face, and sometimes to Crowley. But in my opinion, the biggest lie he tells Crowley about the occult/ethereal goings-on this season is not telling him about Shax on the drive back to Edinburgh. And I think the reason he doesn't is the same reason he's SO nervous to tell him about Gabriel at first; he's afraid Crowley will overreact - will totally freak out when he realizes Aziraphale is being threatened. Which is, frankly, justified. He would.

But then Crowley is over here lying about SO MUCH all season. And some of the lies are about his own pride (i.e. not telling his self-described bestie that he has been UNHOUSED for YEARS during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC) but mostly he does it because he thinks it is protecting Aziraphale. Because he is so obsessed with saving Aziraphale.

Everyone knows it - Demons are using threats against Aziraphale as a way to intimidate Crowley all over the shop (a good tactic tbf, far more effective than threatening Crowley himself), and Aziraphale openly speaks it.

But the actual reason he does it is because he's so concerned about proving his worth to Aziraphale. We know Crowley has self-esteem issues. He's all smoke and mirrors - not a man (nb) just a flashy jacket wrapped around a bundle of insecurities and anxieties. He still thinks he needs to prove himself to Aziraphale, that he needs to make himself worthy of his partnership. He cognitively knows they should be equals, a team of the two of them on their own side, but he just can't shake the notion that Aziaphale needs a reason to fraternize with a demon.

And of course, Aziraphale doesn't. He loves Crowley as he is and sees just as much worth in the small acts of bringing him chocolates at the bookshop opening or clearing them a table at the Ritz. True, he does love that Crowley loves saving him, but not because he actually needs it, because it's part of the flirty game they play. But he's not honest enough to tell Crowley as much clearly (not that speaking it would solve Crowley's self-worth issues).

The thing is, "Saving me makes him so happy" is so much cuter when you're fully PRETENDING to be stuck in the Bastille and don't know any other way of asking your crush out on a lunch date. Because now the forces of heaven and hell are knocking on THEIR bookshop door and all they have is each other but Crowley hasn't been honest with Aziraphale about the seriousness of this threat and Aziraphale didn't warn him about Shax BECAUSE he knew he would be overprotective. Crowley needs so badly to be the hero he's undermined their power as a team.

And that's the dramatic irony of it all. As an audience, it is spelled out so clearly for us that they are at their best, their most powerful, as a team. They are a whole greater than the sum of its parts. The fact of Crowley's incessant need to prove himself, to be the hero, to "protect" Aziraphale from all this information that he has been choosing to lie about all season - it's just making them weaker.

TLDR; Crowley is lying to Aziraphale to keep him safe because he still feels like he needs to prove himself to be worthy of Aziraphale's partnership but this makes it impossible for them to truly work as a team and is hurting them both

[guardian-of-soho]

For how tender and domestic (and “quiet and romantic”) the new season is, there’s such an endless sense of hovering danger around the little haven of the bookshop in the present day (not to mention the flashbacks). It’s implied they’ve been left alone a few years; but it’s clear the peace is ending.

From the moment “Jim” arrives we’re never left a minute without the shadow of Heaven or Hell darkening the doorstep of the bookshop and their safety, until the night the last-ditch dance to hold Heaven off turns into Hell coming over the threshold. They’re not left to peace. They’re not allowed to find their human happiness — not via the dance nor even by their one big kiss — not so long as Heaven and Hell want them gone. Not so long as their love stands as the threat to Eternity that it is.

That’s the only way I can make any sense of Aziraphale’s return to Heaven. They never left him alone, and for all he seemed sure of himself in helping Jim hide from them, and wooing Crowley amidst their invasions, and even refusing the Metatron at first — he must have felt the end approaching. He must have known that whatever was done to Jim could be done to him too.

He could lose himself. He could lose his capacity to protect Crowley, or Soho and the humans he loved. He could lose all memory of what had been so precious to him, worth defying Heaven for, and why he was on Earth, and who he could trust, and why.

Others have pointed out how determinedly he ignores Crowley’s fear amid the dancing. I think — I hope — that it’s not that he doesn’t want to hear him. It’s that he is pushing back his own fear to reach for happiness; it’s that he needs so badly to let him know he loves him, before it’s too late. He needs to have a moment’s romance. He knows “too late” is coming.

And then it’s there.

And still when Heaven offers him a way to dodge the doom they bring, he refuses point blank until they promise he can buy Crowley’s safety by his surrender. (And it is a surrender, for all he says he believes he’ll be in charge. Within moments of losing Crowley he’s giving the Metatron the same fake smiles and feigned agreement he’s always offered Heaven. He’s leashed again.) He wants their safety, he wants it unassailable, and I hope that’s the first reason he went back. (I don’t imagine the promise of their approval meant nothing to him. I think he wants their power and their praise. But I don’t believe it was what he wanted first.)

He’s just watched their haven (our shop!) invaded by Hell, and then by Heaven, and then watched two traitors in love, the heads of their sides, driven to the far reaches of the universe under threat of being followed — that’s not the end he wants for him and Crowley. He doesn’t imagine Heaven can be as sweet for them as Earth; but he believes their days on Earth are numbered. I think having watched their refuge breached so easily has had the same effect on him that watching it burn had on Crowley — nothing feels safe anymore; nothing feels permanent.

But Crowley’s reaction was “I want to spend whatever time we have left together as far away as we can get,” Aziraphale’s is “I want to invade the heart of the threat and turn it into home.” They’re so terribly brave; and they’re so in need of some humans showing them how to face down a threat together instead of running or joining it. I want to watch a replay of the airfield last stand, and the bookshop battle, but with power enough on their side to win Earth’s permanent peace.

I want Crowley and Aziraphale both to decide that even without Adam’s power or any particular prophecy or a tangible plan, they’ll take their chances on the humans’ side for good and all, and count it worth the dangers. And I want to see them win. Earth’s side has been theirs; they deserve to be sheltered and saved by it, too.

[thisisawonderfulusername]

it's just us now

crowley x demon!reader x aziraphale

requested by: @cool-iguana

summary: after aziraphale leaves, you and crowley must move on.

warnings: sad :( but also comfort

a/n: i had to jump between writing this and a different fic because this was making me sad and the other was basically me kicking my feet while i giggled. that will be out soon:) for now, enjoy

you stood beside crowley's bentley, staring in silence across the street. crowley stood on the other side of the car, also unable to utter a word.

aziraphale entered the elevator that would bring him back to heaven, and you couldn't do anything but stare. your eyes had been glossed over, as if a painter had brushed on their protective coating on a finished painting. 

the car felt as if it was your grounding object. it was the only physical thing letting you know that you're here- that crowley is here. he's not leaving you too. you'll still have crowley.

part of you was hoping that your angel would change his mind. that as he took a short glance at the two of you that he would come back to you, back to his bookshop.

that you could all be together on earth, on your own side.

but his words repeat in your head, like a broken record.

"nothing lasts forever."

after the doors close, you clear your throat, forcing yourself to keep from crying. 

"well, i suppose it's just us now." you say softly, opening the passenger door and falling into your seat. 

as crowley gets into his own seat, he remains quiet for a moment. when he starts the engine, the radio began to play a nightingale sang in berkeley square.

as he swiftly turns it off, you sniffle. "we should've known being with an angel wouldn't work."

your voice is quiet, but in the silence of the car it seems so loud. 

crowley nods somberly, placing his hand over yours.

"we should've known."

the ride home was spent in silence, the only noise was the humming of the engine.

-

after a while without the angel that completed your relationship, you and crowley were able to move on.

to leave old memories behind, you managed to find a new apartment. you filled it with plants that thrived- whether it be through their fear of crowley or your green thumb. you even opened a plant nursery for something to do.

some nights, the pain would return.

you would wake from a dream of your angel, sharing a dinner or all of you cuddling on the couch with a cup of tea.

tears would be falling from your eyes when they opened, and at the smallest sound of a sniffle, crowley was awake. 

he was there to pull you into his arms and offer to make you a cup of tea in a whisper.

"i just need you," you'd tell him.

that was all he needed to hold you tight and wrap the blanket snugly around the two of you, his thumb carefully rubbing shapes into your skin to lull you to sleep.

on the rarer occasion, you would wake up to find him missing from the bed, a sliver of light filtering in through the bottom of your door.

you would carefully get out of bed, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and leaving the room to find him sitting on the couch, staring off into nothing in silence.

you would make a cup of tea before sitting down with him, sharing the blanket and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"are you okay?"

"i will be."

you'd nod, wrapping your arms around his waist and dozing off until you wake up in the morning, back in bed with crowley cuddled close. 

eventually, you'll be okay.

the remaining pain will fade away and your life will continue without aziraphale. 

taglists

good omens: none yet

crowley: none yet

aziraphale: none yet

[kingconia]

DIASOMNIA BOYS WITH OLD-FASHIONED S/O, WHO WRITES AND SENDS THEM LETTERS, INSTEAD OF USING THE PHONE

Sebek Zigvolt.

— He is so confused. Malleus is bad at technics, too, but at least he knows what the fuck phone is;

— Sebek genuinely tries to teach you how to use the phone, but you are refusing to use it, and saying that you prefer writing letters for him;

— Okay, he finds it cute now, because your letters find him in an expected moments, as a big surprise, and he starts waiting for them on the daily basis;

— But he will not write you back. Sorry, it would take too much time, and he is a busy man. But! He keeps all of your letters, and marks down topics from them that he will discuss with you in personal meeting. He is attentive, of course.

•

”Ha,” Jack smirks, leaning closer to Sebek. ”Are you reading love letters again? You are so red, it is embarrassing.”

Sebek is, indeed, flushed. He always is, when he opens your envelopes—you tuck in it his favourite flowers, and write such a beautiful things, that he can't help but feel embarrassed.

’My dear Sebek,

I hope this letters finds you well, and with your undying energy that lightens my day refilled by simple meal, or, perhaps, even a nap. And, please, accept those hyacinths. They are for you, and only. I hope you like them as much as I like you.

Today, I only wished to tell you the story of my...’

”Shut it...” He murmur to his classmate, pressing letter to his chest shyly.

The flowers you sent him would be in his hair for the rest of the day.

And no one would dare comment on that.

Lilia Vanrouge.

— Well, Lilia is more modern despite his age, so he is a little bit surprised by your strange habits. Just as Sebek, asks you if he needs to teach you how use your phone, but when you refuse, he gets over it easily;

— Your letters offer him the strangest nostalgia of the past, and he can't say if likes them, or if they are bringing up not his most pleasant memories;

— Lilia, I think, would rarely write you back. Yet, he appreciates how much you think of him. He, too, would rather send you an invitation for the little lunch date;

— Lilia doesn't keep all of your letters, but the most important ones are always tucked in his room, in the very safe place.

•

”Ah,” Lilia blinks, surprised as he notices only now, that there is letter in the pocket of his coat. ”How do you...”

He sighs.

The main mystery, of course, is how you continue to sneak on him, leaving all these letters without Lilia, actually noticing it? He has an extra hearing and sight not for nothing! What is the secret?

”Oh, dear Y/n. Here you are.”

’My ethereal snowdrop,

how had you been? Tell me, if there is something bothering you? Your students, your son, headmaster Crowley? I hope it is not, but if anything touches your peace—tell me. I will try to take care of it in the best traditions.

But until now, I am here only to speak of my own troubles as I hope you want to listen... This morning, though, started uneventfully...’

Lilia stops in the middle of the corridor, and starts reading it with the greatest attention immediately.

He already plans to find you right after finishing reading that, and comfort you in his arms after the bad day you clearly had.

Silver Vanrouge.

— He is flattered by the fact that you decide to spend your time on writing to him all these letters, and he doesn't ask you to use phone: he accepts this strangeness easily;

— Whenever he has a short nap, he wakes up with a new letter on his lap, and it is the best part of his day, to be quite honest. He also kinda puts all of your letters on the walls of his room...

— Once he decides that he wants to return your sentiment as well, and so, he asks Lilia to teach him how to write letters in his very aloof manner as you do;

— He writes not so often, but he tries really hard to do that everyday. And eventually his slightly awkward attempts became better and better.

•

'Good evening, dear and well-respected Y/n!

I genuinely apologise for writing so late this time. If it wasn't for Sebek annoying trying to teach me how to take better care of Malleus, I would finish my duties quicker.

I think, there is nothing interesting for me to tell you about. My days are all the same and your letters the only thing that makes them slightly happier. I doubt you will find it that entertaining.

So, please, tell me about yours, instead.

With love, Silver.’

Malleus Draconia.

— Finally! Finally someone as old and inexperienced in technics as him!

— Jokes aside, but Malleus is really grateful for having another old soul around. He instantly agrees on constant letters exchange with you, and he also considers it to be courting;

— You write each other so often and so much, pouring your souls in these letters, obsessively opening up each other about everything and everyone, that others are almost worried;

— Just let these poor victorian kids to flirt in their own way!

•

’...My agonising salvation, Y/n,

your letter arrived just now, and reading your poems, made my heart flatter with so much easiness as if it was the butterfly wings, clapping against the air. I had never dreamed of the day, when I would be blessed by such a treatment, and yet...’

’Oh, the malady to all of my sufferings, Malleus,

though I sent you a letter in a while, as I am still waiting for yours to return to me, I can't help but send another one, just right after, since my soul cannot bear this happiness all alone...’

”All of these... Sounds unhealthy,” Sebek mutters, confused, as the three of them stare at the desk of Malleus that is now filled completely by many letters; some of them are yours, and others are drafts of his, rewritten and scrapped down. ”Should we do something?”

”Come on,” Silver groans. ”They are just in love.”

”How can you he so easygoing when it is Malleus-sama that—”

”I think,” Lilia interrupts another possible argument between these two, ”we should just leave them alone. They are happy as they are.”

And with that, they close the doors behind them slowly.

They shouldn't had seen these letters anyway...

[actual-changeling]

There is no gun to his head.

I don't know where that notion came from or why so many people are suddenly convinced it is true, but I rewatched the last episode and especially the final fifteen over and over again and it's not real.

So. Let's have a look at the facts, and I mean facts, as in what we see on screen and what we can generally all agree on happens—no metas, no headcanons, just pure canon.

Aziraphale and Crowley just witnessed Gabriel and Beez go off together. They are free, there are no consequences for them, they left and have no interest in returning.

This tells them two things: Any threats from hell or heaven regarding their relationship are void under the current conditions. Hell is understaffed and dealing with its own problems, and heaven is a mess in a different but equally disabling way. The second thing, or rather the consequences of the first, is that they can do the same.

Let that sink in because so many people seem to completely forget about what that scene signifies outside of being a "relationship mirror". There are no consequences when a demon and an angel go off together. In the end, they weren't stopped, everyone kinda sighed and went well, we have our own problems, so they might as well leave.

Now, when the Metatron talks to Aziraphale, that scene is fresh in his mind, it literally just happened. The threat is gone, he does not want to return to heaven in that moment because he is processing what it means for the two of them.

Then, the Metatron offers him the jackpot: Aziraphale gets to fix heaven—make a difference, as he likes to put it—and have Crowley back as an angel. Aziraphale still thinks heaven is fundamentally good and thus the best place to be; angels, the two of them, how great! All of his moral problems have been solved, and, let me stress this over and over, there is no threat.

The Metatron LITERALLY just proved to him that he won't punish angel/demon relationships—he stopped Michael from punishing them. In Aziraphale's eyes, he is the knight in shining armour, threats wouldn't even be necessary.

Additionally, and I have repeated this so many times it has become tedious, Aziraphale does not know about the second coming. He doesn't. The Metatron tells him in front of the elevator, not a second earlier.

To summarize

he has tangible proof that angel/demon relations won't be punished

the Metatron has proven himself to be an ally and trustworthy

there is no dawning apocalypse

Crowley can come back to heaven with him

In conclusion, every single one of Aziraphale's problems disappears. Threats—threats over WHAT?

Do you really think the Metatron would immediately contradict himself and destroy any tentative trust Aziraphale has? Do you think he would jeopardize the blind fearlessness he develops as soon as he mentions the Crowley part of the deal?

Everyone always calls him an evil mastermind, just to turn around and paint him as the dumbest figure imaginable. He knows what he is doing.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley about the decision he has made for them, his voice is genuinely soft. It's real joy, no hidden messages, no nothing. Have you recently re-listened to it? Because I have.

"He said I could appoint you to be an angel."

That happiness and excitement is real, it just is. I rewatched it over and over and I tried to see any hidden meanings, I really did, but he's simply happy. That's all.

Everyone is completely free to have their own theories, you can disagree with my meta thoughts all you want, that's what fandom is for!

But I am so bloody tired of getting "well, actually there was a gun to his head" on every. single. post. that I make about the final fifteen. There was no gun.

You can put one into the Metatron's hands all you like, but it is not canon. It just isn't.

[ao3cassandraic]

As far as they can

At the end of the Job minisode, Crowley inaugurates Their Side by proclaiming Aziraphale "an angel who goes along with Heaven... as far as he can," parallel to his own stated relationship with Hell.

Only it... doesn't actually work that way. Their exactlies are different exactlies.

Crowley defies and lies to Hell as often as he thinks he can get away with it. He never disabuses Downstairs of their misconceptions about his contributions to human atrocities. He cheerfully lies in his reports Downstairs, something Aziraphale briefly turns on his Baritone of Sarcastic Disapproval about in s1. Crowley even turns evil homeopathic in the latter part of the 20th century, likely in hopes that it will look good to head office while accomplishing essentially nothing. (This, of course, is another way he Crowleys himself, both with the London phone system and the M25.) After Eden, Crowley's default given an assignment from Hell is to see how he can subvert it.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, defies Her and Heaven as little as he possibly can. Sometimes, as with his sword giveaway, his compassion gets the better of his anxiety. Sometimes, as with Job's children in the destruction of the villa, he can try to stay within the letter of the law by leaving the defiance to Crowley.

His default, however, is "'m 'nangel. I can't dis- diso -- not do what 'm told." This comes out most often as respect for the Great/Divine Plan, which to him is sacrosanct. He sounds quite sincere in s1 when he says "Even if I wanted to help I couldn’t. I can’t interfere with the Divine Plan."

Aziraphale quite frequently Good Angels along by parroting Heaven's party line, whether it's "it'll all be rather lovely" or "I am good, you (I'm afraid) are evil" or droning on about evil containing the seeds of its own destruction, or condemning Elspeth's graverobbing as "wicked" (a stance he offers absolutely no reasoned support for, no logic, no "but She said," not a word -- that's very Heaven; most of Heaven's angels have the approximate brainpower of paramecia). Maestro Michael Sheen even has a particular voice cadence -- I think of it as Sententious Voice -- he uses when Aziraphale is thoughtlessly party-lining.

When the angel's conscience wars with his sense of Heaven's orthodoxy but (and this is an important but) he can't feasibly resist whatever's wrong, he offers strengthless party-line justifications he clearly doesn't agree with (as with the "rain bow" in Mesopotamia) or resorts to a Nuremberg defense: "I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crowley!" Once or twice, he's even vocally aware of Heavenly hypocrisy: "Unless… [guns]'re in the right hands, where they give weight to a moral argument… I think." This isn't Sententious Voice. It's I-can't-disobey-and-I-hate-that voice.

But at base, the angel prefers obedience (not least because it's vastly safer), and he'd rather have someone else do his moral reasoning for him. Honestly? Pretty relatable. I know lots of people like this -- hell's bells, I've been this person, though I grew out of it somewhat -- and I daresay you do too. Moral reasoning is hard and often lonely (since it can be read as self-righteousness or even hypocrisy) and acting as it dictates can hurt. Nobody would need ethics codes if The Right Thing was also invariably The Convenient Thing.

Many GO fans find these Aziraphalean traits frustrating! Especially his repeated returns to parroting Heaven orthodoxy! Sometimes I do too! (Not least because I'm rather protective of my own integrity, and it's cost me quite a few times. I'm well-known in professional circles for picking up a rhetorical spear and tilting at the nearest iniquitous windmill. I often lose, but I sure do keep tilting. Every once in a blue moon I actually win one.)

The key, I think, to giving our angel a little grace on this (beyond honoring the gentle compassion that is pretty basic to his character) is noticing how often he can be induced to abandon an unconsidered Heavenish default stance. As irritating as his default is, and as consistently as he returns to it, it's not really that hard to talk him out of it. Crowley, of course, is tremendously good at knocking Aziraphale away from his default -- he's had to be. But Aziraphale even manages to talk himself away from his default once, in the form of the Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase!

I think the character-relevant point of the Resurrectionist minisode is making this breaking-the-Heavenish-default dynamic as clear as the contents of the pickled-herring barrel aren't. "That's lunatic!" Crowley exclaims, when Aziraphale Sententious Voicedly parrots Heaven's garbage about poverty providing extra opportunities for goodness. Aziraphale isn't quite ready to let go yet, replying "It's ineffable."

But Dalrymple (who, I think, parallels Heaven, perhaps even the Metatron -- there could be something decent there, but it's buried too deep under scorn and clueless privilege for any graverobber-of-souls to dig it out) manages to break Aziraphale's orthodoxy by explaining the child's tumor.

Once released from his orthodoxy, Aziraphale can't be trusted to handle moral reasoning well; his moral-reasoning ability is not-uncommonly (though not always) portrayed as vitiated. When he gives Elspeth the go-ahead to dig up more bodies, his excuses are just as vacuous as they were when he was convinced of her wickedness. He knows that he's crossed Heaven's line, too, and just as at Eden it's worrying him. That's why he has to talk to Crowley to nerve himself up to help Wee Morag... only he spends too much time talking, and it's too late.

But Crowley can then talk him into bankrolling Elspeth toward a better life. Aziraphale doesn't even put up any fight, both because he's compassionate and because Crowley is temporarily taking the place of Heaven (he's even Heaven-sized and staring down at them!) as the angel's moral compass.

S1 has an even worse example of Aziraphale's moral wavering, actually. Crowley yells "Shoot him, Aziraphale!" and Aziraphale sure does try to murder Adam. Again, he's adopting his morals from the nearest (and loudest) convenient source. Madame Tracy, thankfully, has enough of a moral backbone to save our angel from himself and Crowley.

(With my ersatz-ethicist hat on: this is a fight between utilitarianism and deontology. Crowley is the utilitarian, which is actually a bit of a departure for him, but he's admittedly desperate. Madame Tracy is the deontologist: One Doesn't Kill Children. Aziraphale is caught in the middle.)

I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason we start s3 with Aziraphale and Crowley separated is so that Aziraphale finally has to do his own moral reasoning, without Crowley's nudges. I don't think it'll be easy for him. It will absolutely be lonely. And it may well hurt.

But I will watch for it, because it's how he will become his own angel, independent of Heaven and even of Crowley. And he must do that.

[fellthemarvelous]

This is just an idea that keeps rattling around in my head. If anyone else has a unique perspective to add to this, feel free to do so.

Is season three setting us up for Grand Duke of Hell Crowley?

Aziraphale has taken up the position of Supreme Archangel vacated by Gabriel.

And in the first episode we see Beelzebub throwing offers at Crowley just to get their hands on Gabriel (although at that point we don't understand why). Beelzebub even tells him that he can be a Duke of Hell.

It's not a position that Crowley wants, but is that what makes him the right choice for said position?

Heaven and Hell are both equally terrible, but Hell has never been anything other than what it was set up to be. Crowley wants nothing to do with it. He's never played by Hell's rules. It's a place of evil. Crowley doesn't have the capacity for the kind of evil Hell is looking for. He loves humanity just as much as Aziraphale does.

And Aziraphale, for all his misgivings about what Heaven is, is not actually blind to how corrupt it is. He chooses to go back because he is adamant that he can make a difference. He thought he would be able to make that difference with Crowley by his side, but Crowley can never and will never return to Heaven (unless it's to break in and cause problems).

But Hell needs to change as well. Hell is just as desperate as Heaven is to go to war and destroy the Earth and all of humanity.

And if Crowley takes up the mantle of Grand Duke of Hell, that would put him at odds with Aziraphale (and Heaven but we know he doesn't care about that part), but he and Aziraphale have spent the past 6,000 years together and can find a way for Heaven and Hell to meet in the middle and discover their own shades of gray. They have the power to bring about change at the top and the bottom.

Which is probably why the Metatron wanted to separate them in the first place. Together they are incredibly powerful. But the Metatron's greatest achievement at the end of season two might end up being the mistake that causes his downfall during season three.

Because no matter how explosive their break-up was, they still love each other, and they will always find their way back to each other.

And perhaps the systems will remain the same even when all is said and done, but they can shake things up for both sides and make them see that they too have the option of free will. They can have everything the humans have, but they have to see that it's possible.

And the only ones who can show them this path are Aziraphale and Crowley.

But in order for things to change, Crowley and Aziraphale will have to stand on opposite sides before joining together to help save humanity. And maybe they will have a small army of angels and demons who choose to follow them because what Crowley and Aziraphale have is so much more enticing than an eternity of working in miserable conditions and planning another war that involves the destruction of humanity.

And maybe that's how the Ineffable Plan is fulfilled. Maybe Aziraphale and Crowley are the keys to pulling it off. Maybe God and Satan paired them up for their own amusement, but also to see if it was possible for demons and angels to ultimately accept humanity and realize that they actually have the ability to make their own choices as well.

I don't know. I have so many ideas about where season three might take us. I'm not sure how I feel about this one because season two gave us so many possibilities for how this will ultimately end.

That particular moment in 2x1 has me wondering if Crowley will reluctantly agree to become Grand Duke of Hell.

It also doesn't help that Michael Sheen referred to Crowley as the thin dark Duke. I'm way too obsessed with this show.

I just really love my Ineffable Idiot Husbands.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the s2 endgame

an incredibly long post that i will not apologise for but does contain multiple frames of michael sheens face, so-

the first beat, for me, that truly leads up to the kiss is when aziraphale says to crowley, "i don't think you understand what im offering you." because whilst im sure in part aziraphale was referring to the offer of restoration and - as he perceived it - what it meant for crowley (and that's what crowley denied with "i understand. i think i understand a whole lot better than you do."), i think aziraphale truly meant that crowley didn't understand what the restoration could give them. to restore crowley meant that aziraphale could give all of himself to crowley, with no fear of reprisal or comeuppance like they've had to suffer for their entire existence; "pretending that we aren't".

it meant that they could be safe, together, as two angels, and not on opposite sides in the eyes of heaven. they could work together to make things better, but they would be together. crowley was completely justified in refusing the offer, based on his own trauma and pain that heaven unforgivably dealt to him, but aziraphale wasn't necessarily asking crowley to forget or forgive that; but instead to be with aziraphale, aziraphale completely as he is with nothing hidden, nothing repressed, and nothing sequestered away in fear of retribution from heaven - or indeed in fear of rejection from crowley.

so when crowley said he understood more than aziraphale did, i imagine that meant to aziraphale that crowley did indeed see all of that, had heard aziraphale and knew what aziraphale was offering, the security and freedom as aziraphale saw it, but didn't want it - didnt want aziraphale, didn't want that version of us - anyway. crowley didn't mean it that way, of course; he meant he knew that the restoration would trap him, try to make him into an angel he no longer knew or wanted to be, and was rejecting what he thought aziraphale wanted him to be.

but i personally can't conceive any notion where aziraphale would ever have thought this - he's fallen for the not-quite-angel-not-quite-demon that crowley is now - why can't crowley see that? he just wants to give him back the same peace and joy that he had before the fall, but naively cant understand that being an angel doesn't make it so. it's not about being an angel, for aziraphale, but what being an angel could return to crowley... that it could fix the wounds that the fall left behind.

but here we arrive at "no nightingales". given the symbolism in popular culture and in mythology behind the nightingale, and the context of the nightingale in their story, it seems to me like crowley is saying that the conversation that has just transpired between them has broken something. and really broken something. it hasn't broken the love, per se - that's still there - but it's led to their own personal tragedy. their conflicting wants and needs have led to the downfall. that in crowley's eyes, there isn't a way to repair the damage that has been done. he doesn't even qualify that it's 'no nightingales singing', but the full absence of them, meaning that this has changed - poisoned - every chance of what could have been.

"we could have been us" compounds this; that in crowley's mind, there is no possibility of this now. that he knows what aziraphale will decide, what he will choose, and knows that he has already lost; and he's placing all of it at aziraphale's feet. that if the only way to see them be together is to be restored, to return to heaven, then crowley can't and will not do it - he doesn't understand why aziraphale would even entertain the thought and sees it as a reflection of aziraphale's distain for his current self.

aziraphale however sees it as an opportunity to ensure that they are safe in perpetuity, and wants to reverse the fall because the happiness and joy that he saw before is what he wants for crowley now, not realising that the two are, as of now, currently incompatible. so this line is, for aziraphale, the final deathblow; that there is no way back from this, the chance has faded to nothing even if the love between them remains - and they'll never get back the 'us' that existed before the event, let alone the 'us' that they both want now.

the wave hits aziraphale and bowls him over, makes him stagger. what he has been wanting - but couldn't initiate out of fear - is now completely impossible and will never happen. his face crumples, and he turns away, mirrors crowley in not looking at him, not letting him see the vulnerability and the sorrow. he looks to the left, into the dark and away from the light, into the space where crowley normally stands, always by his side, and not on the other side of the chasm that has now erupted between them.

but crowley does sees the face, and recognises it. he's seen it before, seen the expression of when aziraphale hears his sentence and resigns himself to his fate, and despairs in kind that this rift of both of their makings has put in on aziraphale's face. but he also sees it as a mark of hope; can I change his mind? can I offer him something that I haven't offered yet? he can feel the last burning embers of doubt, and he could stoke it. build to a full fire, to an inferno. words haven't worked, they never work - "it's always too late" - but in this case, just one time, action might. so then crowley - oh, crowley - makes up his mind. he has to know, whatever happens, that he did everything that he could possibly do to cling to this dream, this fairytale, where they might get to be together.

and it's pure desperation and determination, the swan dive off the cliff not knowing how far it'll be until he reaches the bottom. there's the smallest chance he might catch an updraft and fly. but the kiss - whether he intends it that way or not - is a temptation. and he's so good at that, isn't he? he tempted aziraphale into eating, he tempted him into dispatching a child... he knows he can do it, and he knows that aziraphale can succumb to it (whether it's because angels can in fact be tempted by demons, or because aziraphale can be tempted by crowley). he has nothing else to lose, but everything to gain, and that everything is slipping through his fingers, "you can't leave this bookshop", so what does it matter if he tries to keep aziraphale in the last way he knows how?

and even then this time, it's more; it's physical, it's raw, and it's human. their common ground. he's the serpent of eden, he tempted eve to the apple, he brought about the fall of humanity. crowley has gone beyond tempting aziraphale with sly words, assurances, and logic; this time, he's putting everything into it, giving it his all, so neither of them can ever say he didn't try. temptation was literally his first order, his first command; his most powerful and yet destructive capability. and each one, on aziraphale's part, has led to manifestly chipping away at aziraphale's divinity, his angelic core. each one has made aziraphale into the person he is today, the person that crowley loves, so whilst it may not be the right thing to do, it's the best chance he has to reach him.

so crowley grabs him, wheels him round to face him, and pulls aziraphale into him. there are no words, there's no gentleness, there's no finesse; it's practically animal, carnal and rough, and everything that - in all likelihood - neither of them wanted when they imagined how this moment would be, if it ever came. and throughout the whole thing, crowley does not move. his grip does not lessen, his mouth does not move, his expression does not falter; it's like he's serpentine again in all but form, constricting and gripping his prey into subjugation. it's instinctive, and unconscious, probably involuntary, but it leaves aziraphale with such little room, no space to breathe.

aziraphale visibly seems to struggle - somewhat physically, but certainly emotionally and mentally - and we can see that predominantly in his expression. he at least almost seems like he's trying to pull away, or create some space between them. it's not how he likely imagined their first kiss - if they ever got to have one and if aziraphale indeed ever imagined it - to be; it's not right, and it certainly doesn't feel like love. love may be behind the wheel, but what is slamming into him in possession, and anguish. i can't believe that aziraphale doesn't know or feel that, not going by the way he reacts. there's also the fact that - as far as we've seen - the last time crowley gripped him by the lapels and got this close to him was at tadfield manor, when crowley was all but raging at him, "im not nice, im never nice; nice is a four-letter word". it's an unmistakable parallel, and it may be that that four-letter word is swapped out for another one, it certainly doesn't feel like it in the moment.

but then aziraphale relaxes, rocks back towards crowley, and returns it. he grips at his back, at the space where resides his wings, and gives back crowley what he's asking for. it might be that aziraphale is trying to be kind - giving him the confirmation that he returns his love even if he can't act on it - or it might be because aziraphale actually realises that he likes it, this kiss, and the brutality of it. it might even be that he knows that this may be his only chance to show crowley that it's reciprocated; that he feels the same way. but it may also be, in addition to any or indeed all of the above, that aziraphale subconsciously succumbs to the temptation. gripped and bound, with nowhere to go, he surrenders to his fate - the freefall - and allows himself for a moment to sink. but then he steps back out of it, reins himself in, lifts his hands again from crowley, and crowley finally lets go.

crowley lets go, and stands back to see what it might have changed. did he tempt him, did he succeed? will his angel stay? it felt like he will, he felt his hands and how he surrendered - he didn't imagine it - and it might have worked in crowley's favour. it worked with the ox. it worked with the antichrist. there's no reason it wouldn't work this time, right?

until aziraphale steps back. he steps back, places that distance, the chasm, between them again, and looks for all the world that the heavens have caved in, crashing and splintering all around them. a look of utter despair, almost a plea that what happened didn't happen, because it changes everything. it puts what can't happen into the open, makes it more than the abstract. it's longing, and it's sorrow, and it's heartbreak that this could have been what they'd have.

but the fog starts to lift, the shock has settled in, and horror sweeps over; it's disbelief that crowley made that move, and made it in the way he did. it's waking up, coming-to, reality starts to seep back in. it's looking down at the board, and seeing a check on the king, a challenge that aziraphale never saw coming -

- and then it almost becomes fear and panic, backed into a corner, and not necessarily because someone could have seen them, or because crowley has now put something fundamentally physical to what they are (although i believe these could also be contributory to his reaction), but it's the dread of having to refuse and deny what crowley has put out between them, dangling between their fingers waiting to be held.

aziraphale begins to bargain, starts to try reconciling what just happened, and whether anything can be salvaged. he's had a tiny piece of what their future could hold for them, and he has a decision to make. he starts wavering, starts to oscillate between the decision to follow his head and do what he feels is the right thing in the long-term, or arguably betray the person he has become over the millennia, deny himself what he thinks is the right thing, and instead follow his heart; grasp at crowley, and the future he laid out before him.

he looks to crowley for guidance, he's lost, suddenly unanchored in a churning maelstrom. trying to gauge what move he should take - does he surrender the king, or move it to evade the check?

either decision means that the game is up or is only a matter of time before it folds; he either risks their safety by staying, or risks losing crowley by going. there isn't another option, there isn't another way, and aziraphale is teetering between the two. neither are options that he wholeheartedly wants to take. he begins to trying to speak, trying to get out words that are choking him, trapped in the snare of Things Unsaid. words to explain, to placate, to beseech, to plead, and it starts to really hurt.

and what hurts about it the most is that he's about to deny crowley. in the full scene - you can't get it from just the frames - his expression is complete heartbreak. he wants to explain why, even now, when he wants to stay more than anything, he has to choose heaven. why he has to choose to continue evading the check, why he has to continue to fight. and it's the prospect of hurting crowley in the process, of prolonging the pain, that is tearing him apart.

except. except. he's just realised what crowley was doing. it was desperation, and fear for losing aziraphale, and a last ditch attempt to cling to what they have and what they could have. all of these thing, out of love.

but what aziraphale realises is that it was manipulation. it was temptation. this one means something deeper, something darker, because to aziraphale it was calling him to betray who he truly is. and suggests that who he truly is isn't enough.

his gaze flicks up from the floor, and he finally makes full eye contact, staring crowley down. it's disbelief all over again; that crowley would resort to that trick, the trick that crowley knows is aziraphale's personal, heartfelt weakness, and one that he will - and demonstrably always has - succumbed to.

it's the disbelief that crowley would take this power and use it to mold and ply aziraphale into staying, when crowley should know that going - to "make a difference" - is the most aziraphale thing he could do. if crowley loves him, exactly as he is, why would he try to make aziraphale betray that?

the anger, the sense of betrayal, sets in, and spreads like hellfire. it relaxes his face, almost bringing him an eerie serenity. because he's seen that not only does he have to break the check (tirelessly continuing the chess metaphor), but he's going to fight back. he's seen that he can instead take the piece threatening him, and checkmate in kind.

it's the scorched earth option, but one that will demonstrate that he's not one to falter under the eyes of a challenge; he will stand his ground, roots digging into the earth, and will not be moved. he takes a breath, about to move his piece that will end the game. it will make crowley lose, but it was lost already; the game was up as soon as he told aziraphale he understood what aziraphale was offering him. because whilst crowley was talking about a place in heaven, aziraphale was talking about us.

and to aziraphale's mind, crowley was so unwilling to hear him, so ready to reject whatever narrative meant he would have to love aziraphale more than he hated heaven, that crowley would stoop to essentially trying to trick aziraphale into staying. into betraying who he is at his core.

instead, aziraphale steels himself; he knows who he is, and he will be enough. the acceptance of the situation, what it will mean when he 'wins', will do something unspeakable, but it must be done. he has to show his own claws, show how much it hurt. aziraphale takes a breath, even has a small smirk, and places the final piece.

"i forgive you."

[cloudcountry]

bird brain

Genre/Tropes: Fluffy bird brain behavior & Established relationship.

Summary: Crowley has a bird brain, but you love him anyway.

Author's Comments: I just think that this is canon. Also I feel like I don't have to say this but just in case Reader is not Yuu. They teach at NRC. I think this turned out pretty well even though it was first time writing for a staff member? I don't think I'll do this often since I literally don't know how to write anyone except for Crowley so if there are any Crowley likers out there let me know LMAO I might write more of him idk yet.

~~~~~

It was no secret to you and the other faculty at Night Raven College that Crowley had a bit of a bird brain. He liked to spoil you in his own special way, with shiny rocks and pretty feathers and seashells presented to you with lovesick eyes. That man would do anything for your approval, and while it was endearing, it did get obnoxious sometimes.

Like, for example, when he slammed open your classroom doors with a rock in hand, setting it on your desk where you had been organizing papers. There were always little flecks of dirt that fell off onto the pristine white papers, but you sucked it up as he gloated. Or when you’d be in the middle of a lecture and he’d bust down your classroom doors again, holding a shimmering multicolored feather that he picked up off the ground somewhere. Your students would try to hide their laughter, and some, their exasperation, when he acted like you were the only person in the room. All he ever wanted was praise, and maybe a smooch if you were feeling generous (but you always refused the latter in front of the students. They did not need to see that, and the gall of Crowley to even ask was beyond you.)

It had left you flustered and reeling too many times to count, the little shoebox in the bottom drawer of your desk slowly growing full with his gifts.

And speak of the devil, he was here again.

The telltale fast paced footsteps outside your classroom had you rolling your eyes as you set down your pen. A loud thump at the door made you try to hold back laughter—that lovable idiot had run into the door again.

The door flung open with a strong gust of air, and standing there was Headmage Crowley in the flesh.

“Beloved!” he yelled enthusiastically, making a beeline for your desk.

“Yes, dear?” you looked up at him, an amused grin on your face.

“Here.” he beamed, placing a dented bottle cap on your desk.

Despite the grime, you had to give him credit. It was pretty shiny, and the design over the metal featured mostly your favorite color. It wasn’t hard to see why he’d picked it up for you.

“What do you want in return for it?” you shook your head, picking up the bottle cap and twirling it over your fingers.

“Nothing, of course! It's a gift out of my infinite kindness!” he gloated.

“That’s what you always say. Now come on, what would you like?” you stood up, walking around your desk to face him.

“...A kiss?” he chuckled, pointing at his lips excitedly.

“Of course.” you laughed, setting the bottle cap down on your desk.

Crowley was practically vibrating on the spot from how excited he was, the goofy grin on his face making your heart squeeze. He never failed to be absolutely adorable whenever you offered up affection—it made you wonder if the esteemed headmage of Night Raven College was secretly touch starved. Gently, you placed your hands on his shoulders and pressed your lips against his. Crowley’s hand found its way to the back of your head, the claws scratching against the skin tenderly. He really made for the best head massager sometimes.

You pulled away but he chased you, stumbling over his feet before he finally let you go. You were flustered once again as he smiled, seemingly satisfied with the state he’d left you in.

“Thank you, my dear.” Crowley cupped your face, kissing your forehead for good measure, “Would you mind if I made myself at home here for a while?”

“Of course not. I was grading papers though, so I won’t be able to pay you my full attention.” you hummed, turning away from him.

“That’s fine! I can help! After all, I am very kind. Oh, I’m so benevolent!” he beamed, radiating smugness.

“Naturally. Thank you, dearest.” you sat down to begin your work once again, the bottlecap glinting cheerfully in the candlelight of your classroom.

[notesbutnotfromunderground]

Aziraphale and Crowley wouldn't have ended up together even if the Metatron hadn't shown up.

I couldn't find the words in the bookshop, but let me say them now. Do it again, Crowley.

If my memory serves me right, the original concept for the characters Crowley and Aziraphale was that Aziraphale didn't exist and Crowley was Crawleigh. [Referenced from a Reddit reading I did a few months back.]

Then, somewhere down the line, there were Crowley and Aziraphale, the Demon who sauntered vaguely downwards and the goody-good Angel giving in to carnal desires.

So when Metatron said, "As Supreme Archangel ... to restore your friend, Crowley, to full angelic status," Aziraphale was happy, elated, and delighted. Them, working together in heaven. And if Metatron hadn't offered that cherry on top, Aziraphale wouldn't have gone back or even wanted to return with him to Heaven. But Metatron knew the right words to say to push Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale's joy at the thought of them finally being together was shattered at the bookshop, his bookshop, their bookshop.

And he told Crowley, "I could appoint you to be an angel. You could come back to Heaven and everything, like the old times. Only even nicer."

To which Crowley replied, "And you told him just where he can stick it then?"

"Not at all."

"Oh, we're better than that. You're better than that, angel! You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. I'm not rejoining their team. Neither should you."

"But— Well, obviously. You said no to Hell. You're the bad guys. But Heaven—"

Then the camera zooms into Crowley's shattered dreams and broken heart.

Aziraphale continued, "It's the side of Truth. Of Light. Of Good."

"When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. Tell me you said no!" Crowley's voice cracked. "Tell me you said no!"

"If I'm in charge, I can make a difference."

And that's when Crowley understood. They wouldn't be together. Aziraphale had already made up his mind.

As he tried to find the right words, Crowley started, "Oh God. Right. Okay. Right. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say. I think I better say it now. Right, okay, yes, so..."

Aziraphale just stood there, waiting for the words he wanted to hear at that time. The words that will finally make everything right for him and Crowley.

Crowley mustered up the courage, sighed deeply and started to talk again, "We’ve known each other a long time. We’ve been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me. We’re a team, a group. Group of the two of us. And we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t. I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to spend… I mean if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the two of us. We don’t need Heaven, we don’t need Hell, they’re toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?"

Crowley's heart sank as he said those words. He already knew, but a demon could only hope. And Aziraphale continued to wonder why Crowley just wouldn't say yes to him.

"Come with me to Heaven. I'll run it. You can be my second in command. We can make a difference!"

"You can't leave this bookshop," Crowley pleaded.

"Oh, Crowley," sighed Aziraphale. "Nothing lasts forever."

"No," Crowley agreed. "No, I don't suppose it does." He turned his back and started to walk towards the door, "Good luck."

"Good luck? Crowley!" Aziraphale's world continued to fall apart. This wasn't what he wanted. Crowley was supposed to say yes, and they would be together in Heaven. He wondered if he said the right thing. He wondered if Crowley understood him. He wondered why Crowley was walking towards the door instead of celebrating together with him.

"Come back to Heaven," Aziraphale continued, searching for the perfect words to convince Crowley. "Work with me! We can be together." And he finally said that. It wasn't how he hoped, but at least he finally said it. Crowley should understand. "Angels... doing good!"

Crowley looked at the window. It seemed to him that after all those years they'd been together, Aziraphale still didn't see it. Memories of his time as God's favourite angel flashed before his eyes.

"I— I need you!" Aziraphale continued. "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

"I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do," Crowley said.

"Well," Aziraphale felt defeated. "Then there's nothing more to say."

"Listen. Do you hear that?"

"I don't hear anything!" Aziraphale said exasperated.

"That's the point. No nightingales. You idiot. We could have been ... us!" With nothing else left to lose, Crowley walked back towards Aziraphale.

Aziraphale looked away, his mind still trying to understand what was happening. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. His train of thought stopped when Crowley grabbed him and pulled him to his mouth, yearning, longing, pleading. Aziraphale didn't know what to do. Should he push him away? Should he stay? Should he pull Crowley closer to him?

"I— I forgive you," Aziraphale said

This scene made me realize something.

They weren't ready yet. Even if the Metatron hadn't appeared, they simply weren't at the right place and time to become an "us" yet. Because unlike Beelzebub and Gabriel, they were still looking at things through the lens of their traumatic pasts. And because of that, they can't entirely give themselves to each other. Not just yet. They still need to work through and overcome the things that happened to them in the past.

They can't just choose to run away like G and B did because the humans have become dear to them.

Aziraphale sees and loves Crowley for who he is. However, it didn't come off as that when he said, "Well, obviously. You said no to Hell. You're the bad guys." What mattered to him then was that they got to be together. And he could finally control and protect that part of their relationship. But he still has religious trauma at this point.

And Crowley needs to face his past, his fall (and as fans, we need the story behind that) and God.

But again, they are still looking at each other through their trauma lens and are seeking to protect themselves by subconsciously trying to be in control without meaning to hurt each other.

Aziraphale is a prideful angel with prejudice against the demons but loves Crowley. Crowley, who loves Aziraphale, is a demon with prejudice against the bureaucracy of angels and demons with pride for the life he's made for himself and Aziraphale among the humans.

They both need to heal first before they can have a working relationship. Because that's where their future together depended. And they also need to figure out how to stop the Second Coming together.

That's the parallel between Nina and Maggie and Gabriel and Beelzebub. And Crowley and Aziraphale are in between.

Crowley needs to learn that he can be happy again. That he no longer has to be in hypervigilant mode. And they have to let him see the stars again.

[strangesthirdeye]

Human dating Aziraphale would include:

•he knows you when you go to his bookshop to do research about your work and notices that you look lost then decides to help you.

•He helps you by finding some relevant books about what you are researching and offers to help you. Seeing that you seem tired of working. So, it's not wrong to help.

•later you always come to his bookshop either to look for material or to chat with Aziraphale. Always with Aziraphale seeing that the interests you both like are the same. (books obviously)

•offer you hot cocoa if you look stressed and tired. And also chat with you about books you are both interested in. Sometimes current issues.

•Introduce you to Crowley seeing that you were engrossed in coming to the bookshop so Aziraphale decided to introduce you to the serpent. Crowley just waved lazily and sprawled onto the couch at the end of the bookshop. You just nodded understanding.

•Surprisingly, you and Crowley are getting along well because well Aziraphale wants you and Crowley to be friends so he gives you both time to get to know each other and he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable with Crowley if you always go to the bookshop

•OMG you love talking about books with Aziraphale so much that Crowley got fed up and left the bookshop to get some air. and that way he wants you and Aziraphale together.. uhuk 👀

•Aziraphale began to notice Crowley always leaving the bookshop and asked Crowley why. Crowley just waved his hand and said:

"I just need some fresh air"

•Aziraphale being innocent just said yes.

•But over time it happened often and Aziraphale started to notice what Crowley did to you and Aziraphale.

•Since then, every time you and him are together at the bookshop after Crowley goes out to 'get some fresh air' he will stutter and be nervous and even his face will turn red. Suddenly he became shy with you.

•You will look at Aziraphale and ask: "are you ok?" "Are you sick?" "Do you want medicine? I have some"

•And Aziraphale will say: "I'm fine" that's all.

•You just nodded.

•Aziraphale being nervous to confess his feeling about you so he needs Crowley to give advice.

•Crowley being a demon who likes to tempt should know a little about love but he doesn't.

•"If you like her, you confess to her"

"Crowley, I really like her and I really want to confess to her that's why I need your advice and you just repeat what I said"

"buy her flowers"

"she doesn't like flowers"

"Ngk.. take her to the Ritz.. simple"

"well, that's pretty good too"

•Aziraphale didn't know how to confess his feelings to you at first but after several times he got up the courage to finally confess. And you happy together.

•And now he is your boyfriend so of course he will take care of you gently and perfectly.

•Will always be with you wherever you are. He's the clingy type but not always for good reason, he has a customers to settle, right?

•A material boyfriend, because he takes care of you and gives you hot cocoa when you have a bad day or it's just 'women's month'.

•Likes to cuddle with you and him being chubby and cute makes you a small spoon and he a big spoon when lying together.

•Will always rubs your hand when he's nervous and uncomfortable with a situation.

•Always call you Angel, Dear, Love, sweetheart.

•Give you a kiss on the forehead if you need it or just miss him.

•He is the first person to support you when you do the assigned work and help you until it is finished.

•will always believe in you and you believe him.

•"I.. am not human but I am an angel"

"well you are an angel in my eyes"

"no, that's not what I meant.. I'm really an angel and Crowley is a demon.. although he's a demon but at the same time it's like he's not"

"Wow"

•After Aziraphale confesses that he is Angel, everything returns to normal as if nothing happened.

•No matter if he has to settle things like with heaven or bookshop, he must have time to spend time with you. He's the one person who will take care, treat and give you enough love in his own way.

[ineffablyruined]

On this episode of things that keep me up at night:

I wonder if we'll get a mirror of how Aziraphale was manipulated by the Metatron, but with Crowley, in s3.

Picture it:

Crowley's only friend for the last 6000 years has just rejected him and left him behind.

Lucifer shows up with a bottle of gin, which, okay it's not his favorite, but the thought is nice, right? And whatever he has to say must be super important for the Devil himself to show up just to speak with a demon with no affiliation to Hell.

And he starts praising Crowley. How right Crowley was to stop the first Armageddon, even if Lucifer hadn't seen it at the time. Hell was understaffed after all, they would have been decimated. How strategic Crowley's mind is. How brilliant he'd been at his temptations.

The Second Coming will wipe out Earth and demons alike. And wouldn't Crowley consider coming back to Hell to work with him to stop it again? They need someone with experience stopping these things, someone who knows how the Earth works better than anyone.

And then he starts talking about how toxic Heaven is. How he heard that Crowley's angel compatriot returned to the fold. How worried Crowley must be about his friend.

If Crowley will just come back, Lucifer will make sure that nothing happens to the angel. Hell will guarantee that if Aziraphale falls (through no fault of his own, of course, it's just that Heaven is so fickle like that, just look at Crowley's own fall), or even if he doesn't fall, but just needs a safe harbour from Heaven, he will have a safe place waiting for him in Hell. Protected.

Maybe it feels just like hanging out with Luci and the guys all those ages ago before the Fall, before the War. Maybe someone actually wants him around.

How is he supposed to turn down help saving the world when his usual partner is gone? How is he supposed to turn down an offer of safety for Aziraphale if it all goes sideways, like he knows Heaven will.

And maybe later he understands how Aziraphale could have gone back to Heaven, because he just did the same thing with Hell.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Congrats on 300! Glad your writing is finding an audience. I'd be happy to submit a request for your event! Can I have TWST, Earl Grey tea and Angel Food Cake? Thank you!

Thank you so much for the congratulations! I recognized your name as soon as I go this request from the various comments you've made on my fics and it made me so happy! I hope you enjoy this Earl Grey Tea and Angel Food Cake fic!

A Pretty Good Choice – Floyd

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ romantic/ Earl Grey Tea and Angel Food Cake prompt

Word Count: 1922 words

Azul had come scrambling into Ramshackle, his pale blue eyes bright as he looked at me with raw excitement and a certain level of smugness that often seemed to come with success when one was dealing with Azul.

“I’ve done it! I’ve found a way to keep you here!” He stated those words with utter pride, which had me practically dropping Grim in shock.

In truth, we’d discovered that I couldn’t stay in Twisted Wonderland due to my status as a foreign entity. Crowley had been utterly delighted when he’d explained it to me.

“You see? I have, of course, been looking into the matter, and, as it turns out, we need not worry about sending you home! Rather, you will be sucked back into your world before long simply because you aren’t originally from Twisted Wonderland and have nothing to hold you here.”

His words had been a heavy blow because I’d become quite attached to the people here and to the friends I’d made quite some time ago. I no longer wanted to return home. Especially since I had no clue about what awaited me. 

Everyone I knew, even my family, could be convinced I was dead and had probably already moved on, considering how long I’d been here. 

To reappear now would throw everyone’s lives, including mine, into disarray. I wouldn’t even know how to explain what had happened, and I was almost positive that no one would believe me.

“Crowley told you it was just a matter of not being tied to this world, right?” Azul’s questioning dragged me out of my thoughts and back to the present. Causing me to nod even though I felt totally out of my depth.

“Yeah… He said that since there was nothing to hold me here, this world would eventually eject me.” Even the words tasted wrong, but I forced myself to remain in the moment.

Azul had said he’d found a way to keep me here. So maybe, just maybe, there really was a way.

I watched as the housewarden pushed his glasses up in what I could only call a smug manner, “Well then. All you have to do is get married.”

I gaped up at the young man as Grim let out a shocked yowl that perfectly matched my thoughts.

Azul rolled his eyes at both of our reactions and gestured for me to follow him, “Come with me. I’ll explain on the way to the Mostro Lounge.”

And explain he did. 

Apparently, I would be entering into a contract with someone else that would be officiated by Azul and would essentially serve as an arranged marriage contract.

“You won’t actually be marrying someone, and should you find a partner who you wish to be with, you will be promptly released from the contract to marry that person. This is just a measure to keep you in this world,” Azul pushed open the door to his lounge as he finished smoothly.

I nodded slowly before frowning slowly, “And the matter of payment?”

Azul’s hand went to his chest in a feigned shock, “You think I would make you pay for such a service? Angelfish, I’m doing this to help you out of this truly unfortunate situation you’ve found yourself in. Let your partner-to-be handle the payment.”

So whoever was in this contract with me would be handling the payment… Well, Azul had said before that I had nothing of interest to offer him. 

“And who is this partner-to-be?” At my words, Azul stopped. A genuine frown appearing on his face as he twisted to better face me.

“That’s the problem at hand. I brought you here to go ahead and sign the contract, but you’ll need to find a willing partner.” He looked back at me, worry shining slightly in his eyes in a way that reminded me that he was actually doing this because he cared.

Because I’d befriended the octatrio shortly after Azul’s overblot, and since then they’d been far more genuinely benevolent, though they did still like to be repaid for their kindness whenever possible.

“So I’ll be looking for someone willing to enter into an arranged marriage contract and foot the bill for your services?” My tone sounded wavering and uncertain to even my own ears, but Azul simply waved off my concerns, his own way of being comforting I supposed, before gesturing for me to sit at a table.

“You have plenty of close friends; I’m sure you’ll find someone willing. Just sit down, and I’ll be right back with the contract.” He twisted on his heel, looking towards the bar, “Floyd!”

At Azul’s call, the lanky young man in question looked up. His expression was initially one of boredom until he spotted me, at which time his eyes brightened. 

It was odd that he hadn’t noticed me the moment I’d stepped into the room. Normally Floyd was almost inhumanly fast when it came to noticing my presence.

In fact, he’d often appear by my side with a smile on his face and my nickname on his lips before I’d even managed to spot him in the crowd.

“Get them something to drink while they wait,” After giving his orders, Azul glanced back over his shoulder at me with a grin on his face that told me he’d thought of something to sweeten the deal.

 “Don’t worry, it’ll be on the house for today. Think of it as a celebration.” With only those words, he strolled off, not even giving me a chance to object.

And even if I had wanted to object, Floyd was already strolling over with a smile on his face as he whipped out a notepad and clicked his ink-pen in preparation, “What’ll it be, Shrimpy? I recommend something expensive since Azul is paying.”

I smiled slightly at his advice before shaking my head slightly, "How about something light… or maybe something to calm my nerves?”

I pondered my order out loud and got to watch as Floyd’s smile disappeared and a frown appeared in its place. 

He sat his notepad down on the table and slid into the booth across from me, “What’s wrong? Having second thoughts about staying already? That’s no good, Shrimpy.”

Despite his light-hearted phrasing, Floyd’s tone was filled with something I was less used to. Concern.

Both his worry and questions startled me, causing my eyes to go wide before I shook my head vehemently, “No! No! Not at all. I definitely want to stay; it's just….”

I trailed off as I considered the situation that now lay before me, “It’s just that marriage seems so sudden. I haven’t considered it at all, and I certainly can’t think of anyone to ask to enter into this contract with me.”

I shifted awkwardly in my seat as Floyd’s gaze seemed to all but drill into me. Pushing me for answers and forcing me to sort through my own thoughts, “I mean, who would want to be in an arranged marriage contract, much less with me? And that’s not even considering the matter of paying Azul.”

The more I thought about it, the more it felt like I’d exchanged one massive issue for one slightly smaller but still very difficult problem. What made it worse was that if I didn’t find anyone, I would be back at square home. 

Getting sucked back into my world even though I knew I wanted to stay here. Because I had people I cared for here. Floyd, Azul, Deuce, Ace, Grim… And that was only listing a small few of a very large number.

Floyd tilted his head, staying silent as Azul reappeared with a glowing yellow contract in his hand and a smile on his face. Or at least there was a smile on his face before he spotted Floyd sitting at the table that had no drink on it.

“Floyd, I thought I told you to get them a drink?” Floyd waved off Azul, eliciting a sigh from the housewarden before his smile returned, though gentler this time.

“Here Angelfish. You’ll just need to sign here,” He pointed at a dotted line as he laid the paper in front of me before offering me a pen.

I paused, hesitating before letting the pen’s tip touch down and I started carefully signing my name.

 I had a myriad of concerns, but I had to at least try. Even if I couldn’t think of anyone, someone may yet show up who’d be willing to enter into this contract with me. Though who that was I had no clue.

I had barely pulled the pen away from the paper before Floyd had reached out, deftly spinning the paper so that it faced him.

“Floyd?” I questioned him aloud, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he continued on about his business, and I soon received his wordless explanation in the form of his signature on the dotted line right next to mine.

Me and Azul gawked at him as he nonchalantly unclicked his pen and pocketed it. Azul looked from the paper to Floyd and then over to me, while Floyd just grinned at me, completely unperturbed.

“Floyd, are…” I stumbled across my words, causing the grin on Floyd’s face to only grow as I fumbled, “Are you sure? This is an arranged marriage contract, you know? And-”

“I’m like you, Shrimpy~ I hadn’t put a lot of thought into marriage either.” His tone was a happy one as he leaned down until his arms were crossed on the table with his head resting against them as he continued to look up at me.

“But I like you, so if I had to get married, I think you’d be a pretty good choice. Doncha think?” His smile softened ever so slightly as he looked up at me, and I felt myself go still, my eyes widening as I looked down at him.

Half of me was still surprised by his impulsive decision, but the other half of me was beyond touched and even a little flustered as I looked across the table at the young man, who, I couldn’t deny, was one of the main reasons I wanted to stay in Twisted Wonderland.

I found myself smiling at him, fondness creeping into my tone as I answered him at last, “And I certainly can’t complain about this arrangement either.”

Floyd outright grinned at my words, sitting up and even leaning forward a bit with his excitement. His gaze was almost expectant, like he knew I had more to say.

And, to be fair, I did. Because how could I not when he’d just solved my issues with a single signature, “Thank you, Floyd.”

Azul let out a sigh at my soft words, shaking his head a little even though he had the slightest of smiles on his face as he looked between the two of us, “Then the two of you are sure?”

I looked up at him, nodding with a smile still on my face, as Floyd bobbed his head cheerfully and responded in his customary sing-song tone, “Absolutely.”

Azul looked down at the contract, still smiling, as he signed his own name on the only remaining line, sealing the deal and causing it to light up with a brilliant flash of magic as he worked his signature spell. “Well, I suppose there’s only one thing left to do then.”

He looked up at both of us as he finished, “We just need to tell Jade that he now has a sister-in-law.”

[riaria93]

Aziraphale’s Guilt, Crowley’s Rank and How it Plays into the End of Season 2

So everyone’s talking about Aziraphale’s religious trauma or the coffee but I want to talk about why specifically he believes it’s a good idea to ask Crowley to return to Heaven as an angel. To do that we need to go back to the start.

Aziraphale meets an innocent, enthusiastic angel Crowley who is happy simply creating the universe. And then here he comes and crushes that innocence in his mind, telling Crowley that it will all end in 6,000 years and that his work means nothing. Crowley starts to question, thinks he can makes suggestions to God. Aziraphale tries to stop him but fails. Their first meeting ends with Crowley saying not to worry and asking how much trouble he could get into for asking questions. Because unbeknownst to Aziraphale this isn’t an ordinary lower level angel but an Archangel, possibly a Prince of Heaven, who believes he can makes suggestions, who believes others will listen to him when he tries to say “No”. But it doesn’t and it ends with a Fall and the same realization as Gabriel that nobody will listen.

Meanwhile Aziraphale meets Crowley through the next 6,000 years and sees the angel he first met inside the demon. During the events with Job Aziraphale even says “I know the angel you were.” Crowley replies “The angel you knew is not me.” Aziraphale holds that guilt of causing Crowley to Fall while Crowley knows it’s the whole institution of Heaven and Hell that’s the problem.

So they both see the best and worst of each other over the years and they start and stop Armageddon. The Gabriel fiasco happens and they see it’s possible to be together. And Aziraphale wants it so much but would Heaven really leave them alone after everything.

Then the Metatron comes with an oatmilk almond latte and an offer that seems impossible. He can become Supreme Archangel of Heaven. He can change Heaven and make it GOOD. He can make it worthy of Crowley. He can make that suggestion box that Crowley wanted. He can make it so they’re never hunted again. He can let go of that guilt of causing Crowley to question and Fall. Crowley won’t ever have to go through that again with him in charge. They can be together and that bright-eyed angel he remembers can return.

But it’s all a scam. He doesn’t realize he’s being used to start the Second Coming until right before he steps into the elevator, or that Heaven WANTS to separate him and Crowley, If Metatron didn’t threaten Crowley’s existence. But I don’t think he did. Because it’s only Crowley who really understands that Heaven was going to use Extreme Sanctions, who saw the file on Gabriel and their plans and more than that, possibly has first-hand experience of what Heaven will do to even a Prince of Heaven who tries to stop their plans.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Crowley does indeed understand so much better. He’s seen the memory wipes, possibly experienced it. He’s been forced to Fall. He’s watched Heaven try to kill his angel with Hellfire.

“We don’t need them. They’re toxic!”

Aziraphale believes that if he can fix Heaven that guilt he felt will go away. He can make a Heaven worthy of Crowley, the Crowley who saved goats and children and helped a young woman at the expense of being in trouble with Hell. Crowley hears this and thinks Aziraphale only wants a him worthy of Heaven.

“Oh Crowley, Nothing Lasts forever.”

Aziraphale means that he’d give everything up to be with Crowley. Crowley thinks that means Aziraphale would give even him up for Heaven. This time though, unlike with “Exactly” neither of them pick-up on the other’s different meaning. Because they don’t actually talk to each other,

It’s a tragedy. And there’s so much more I can get into. But it’s so beautifully written. @neil-gaiman Thank you for this amazing show.

[actual-changeling]

Uh. Hi! I'm Alex and I love writing pain.

I've seen the angst war going on and I am incredibly tempted to contribute; I'm not quite sure of the rules (if there are any) so feel free to bring me up to speed. Updates will be at whatever pace is fun/doable for me, interactions, asks etc. always very much appreciated 💚

@goodomensafterdark @daneecastle @gleafer @gahellhimself-blog @vavoom-sorted-art @kotias

I will put appropriate content tags on every chapter and make a masterpost once I have a handful of posts. Please keep in mind that this series is going to deal with a heavy dose of unreality, self-injurious behaviour, substance abuse, erratic behaviour/mood swings, and more. There will be a happy ending.

Now, without further ado, the first instalment of what is going to be us following Crowley down the path of (hopefully temporary) insanity.

rest your head \\ chapter 1

(~800 w, no additional warnings)

Sleep deprivation, while usually not fatal, is not the least bit pleasant. Human brains require sleep to function—and not just their minds, either. The entire body breaks down oh so slowly as every system designed to keep it alive deteriorates without the comforting embrace of unconsciousness.

However, the actual cause of death is yet to be identified, and luckily Crowley's corporation functions on the principle of 'what it doesn't know won't kill it'.

Over the centuries, earthly indulgences have become more and more common, pleasures easily sought and found no matter where he went, although nothing ever beat a good night's (or decade's) rest. Sleep calms his mind and allows him to drift through time without a care, surrounded by ever-shifting dream clouds and the occasional vivid interference. In short, it takes away the pain, and Someone knows there is a lot to carry when he returns home for the first time in four years.

No dust had dared to settle on the furniture, and the familiar smell of damp earth welcomes him. Locking the door behind him, Crowley blindly finds his way through the corridors, kicking off his shoes as he goes and throwing his glasses onto the nearest surface. When he pushes into his bedroom, which is just as pristine as he had left it, the anger churning in his gut cools.

Home. Has he ever had a home? Once upon a time, maybe, before time had been born, surrounded by breathing nebulae and void, and then—

Eden. Him. Right, that's done.

A snap of his fingers and his clothes change into a set of silk pyjamas, the fabric brushing over his skin like liquid silver, and the black-out curtains snap shut. Darkvision is one of the advantages of being a demon, but he finds the dark has nothing to offer him today, so he closes his eyes and pulls back the sheets to curl around a pillow.

Images flicker in the pulsating emptiness left behind, piercing blue eyes and fluttering hands, a press of lips against his, words digging into his skull like tadpoles making a home within his brain matter. Electricity crawls over his slowly numbing body, urging him to disappear, to sink into nothingness and waste away until he is a dried stain on the mattress. 

No one will come looking for him, after all.

Maybe the world will be brighter once he wakes, the pain duller, the loneliness less aching and all-consuming. Within his chest bleeds a hollow, jagged wound, dripping black blood and drowning the radiant remnants of Aziraphale's presence; his essence is familiar, it's- home. 

Crowley does not need to sleep, yet somewhere between Rome and the present, he had forgotten about it, his corporation shifting and changing, craving rest and punishing him for its absence. It will not kill him, it does not even occur to him that it might, but there are countless fates worth than death and he is already living one of them. What's another added to the mess his life has become?

His nails dig into the pillow case, his consciousness choking on the scorched battlefield of the day, but no matter how hard he tries, how desperately he commands his body to bend to his wills, sleep refuses to come. A new, different kind of pain rises, worse than fatigue and infinitely more addictive. Its sting is battery acid on his tongue, infusing him with a restlessness that is scratching on his bones, and when blue irises keep mocking him behind closed lids, he forces his eyes open, turns onto his back, and stares at the ceiling, waiting.

Light wanders and shifts, barely visible through the heavy fabric adorning his windows, and it dips behind the horizon before reappearing on the other side. Crowley stares at white paint and counts the moving dots gradually clouding his vision, absently pressing his knuckles against his sternum over and over—whether to calm himself or to chase away mental pain with physical is beyond his awareness. 

Both, neither, maybe. 

His too-human body protests and whines, and once he begins to see blue shadows in his periphery, Crowley bites his tongue and gets up. Coffee will help, then a hot shower, and yelling his plants back into order is going to occupy most of his afternoon anyway, so what's a night without sleep?

The next one will bring him the rest he needs, and Aziraphale's eyes will stop striking him down whenever he blinks. He is alone now (alone in London, alone on earth, his chest constricts and twists at the thought, stealing his breath) and he will have to get used to it; it'll be fine eventually, right?

—

Three days later Crowley is staring at his bedroom ceiling, impatient, restless, exhausted, and attempting to chase away the bone-white teeth hovering underneath lightning-blue eyes.

"Fine, have it your way," he snaps eventually, his voice too loud in an empty room, and feels the smile breathing down his neck all the way to the kitchen.

[nymph1e]

Listen. I know it's not canon. I know the chances of it actually being canon are like 100 to 1. But the Crowley is Lucifer theory has me by the fucking throat let me tell you.

evidence for if you haven't heard this (admittedly batshit) theory

Satan and Lucifer aren't necessarily the same person and we know Neil & Terry played a bit fast an loose with the conventional understanding of the bible (i.e. the angel hierarchy)

Crowley 'bringing light', lucifer which means 'light bringer', and 'morning star'

Crowley being powerful enough to open the archangels records

Crowley being the snake which is conventionally seen as lucifer/satan (again, fast and loose)

Crowley personally knowing the Metatron and being told he asked too many questions

"a miracle performed by only the greatest of archangels" 👀👀👀

there's actually a lot of implications that Crowley was an archangel (see above), and in Gabriel's trial, it was stated that only one archangel had ever fallen to become a demon

With that out of the way, it also gives you a brand new perspective on him as a character that - well - kind of explains a lot about his character

I mean, look at the scene where Aziraphale tells Crowley that Metatron has offered to make Crowley an angel again with this theory in mind. It adds just a whole layer of meaning. Crowley's disdainful disbelief isn't just hurt by Aziraphale not understanding him, but by him knowing that Metatron is full of shit because there is no way Crowley will ever be taken back. Some Joe-blow demon? Maybe. The former Archangel Lucifer? Fuck no.

This also adds more dynamic to Crowley's relationship with Aziraphale. Looking from this perspective, Crowley has been keeping things from Aziraphale for millennia, and likely intended to never tell him. This is completely in line with the way Crowley is consistently shown to omit things he should tell Aziraphale.

It ALSO puts them on more even grounds come season three. With just-some-guy!Crowley, we have a Crowley who has always put everything out there for Aziraphale, who has consistently chosen Aziraphale above everything else, while nothing is returned from an aloof Aziraphale. (To me) That's not a compelling dynamic. Having Lucifer!Crowley would mean that Crowley is also deeply in the wrong in their relationship, and would put them on way more even terms when they try to work their shit out.

I mean what's better storytelling-wise: a completely in the wrong Aziraphale coming back to Crowley with his tail between his legs, or Crowley and Aziraphale having a screaming match about how much they've both fucked up, culminating in a kiss?

What this doesn't explain:

who tf is satan

prolly some other glaring holes.

Do I think this theory is true? No. Do I fucking wish it were? Yes.