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For some unknown and unknowable reason, my brain has decided to taunt me with the idea of all the 'eligible' Dwarves in the Company having a crush on Bilbo. Naturally I only know the movie canon which treats all of them as simply walking exposition dispensaries and not characters with their own personalities, so I'm making a lot of things up on the fly here.
I've already got Ori trying to 'woo' Bilbo with books (Bilbo is utterly and completely unaware of said 'wooing'), but I'd love to get ideas for the others.
For clarity, the Dwarves being featured will be: Ori, Nori, Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Dwalin, and Thorin.
(I'm leaving the others out due to either age, personal headcanons on their private lives, or canon relationships)
So if anyone has ideas for how the others could attempt to 'woo' Bilbo, feel free to jot them down in the notes and I'll use my favourites (with credit)
#the hobbit#the hobbit fanfiction#bilbo baggins#everyone has a crush on bilbo#<- fic tag#my fics#yes im crowdsourcing ideas because im not familiar enough yet to be comfortable with my own#thorin oakenshield#pls reply/reblog this if you have ideas and any that i use will be credited appropriately
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Social Media headcanons
Aragorn
Has an official Instagram and Facebook accounts as a head of state. He also has a private account that his friends follow him on: strideranger alternatively strangerranger or rangerdanger on tiktok. His insta consists solely of pictures of his horse, Arwen and occasionally videos of cool plants or wildlife. He captions thing like an old man. His Tiktok is tracking tutorials and again nature videos. He hates twitter and isn’t on it.
Legolas
All the social medias his names include princeofmirkwood, andmybow, and legolocks. Has over a million followers in insta, tiktok and twitter. He posts lots of glammy photos of himself in the woods and tutorials of how to keep your hair and makeup intact in the battlefield. He also edits slow mows of himself shooting orcs. Doesn’t have Facebook because he claims its “for old people” despite being the second oldest member of the fellowship Posts his random thoughts in twitter and gets like thousands of retweets every time
Gimli
anmyaxe, lordofglitteringcaves, gimlet, are some of his names. Posts angry rants on twitter and faceboo. Regularly gets into internet fights with trolls. Posts videos on tiktok of his various stone projects and his workout routine (the latter gets a lot of views) Everyone loses it when he and Legolas team up for a “elf braid vs dwarf braid” youtube video. Oh yes he also has a very popular youtube channel where he explains how to of various craft trades.
Pippin
Has made foolofatook his name for everything and also a hashtag. Huge on twitter and twitch, he also has insta and tiktok and a youtube channel with Merry. Said Youtube is very popular and involves pranks, media reviews, and him and Merry doing stupid shit
Merry
Does a lot of work on the channel with Pippin. Also has a twitch and twitter. Insta king people think he’s really cool. He is the kind of person who shares his progress on candy crush and duolingo. Tried to make merrychristmas his username but it was taken and so went with theweedprofessor. His tiktok is more popular than Pippin’s but Pippin’s twitter is more popular
Sam
Not huge on social media mostly got it because his friends peer pressured him into it. Has facebook and always says happy birthday to people on it but gets annoyed by all the politics. His instagram is samnotsowise alternatively gardeningamgee. Its super wholesome, lots of pictures of his plants and pets and him and Frodo. Sometimes he’ll post a poem
Frodo
Frodo would be on tumblr tho. Username is bagginit on insta and frodoninefingers on twitter which he never uses. His tumblr is ringringhello. He also has insta but rarely posts anything except occasionally a picture of Sam. He has a linguistics Youtube channel where he talks about elvish history and language. Actually the most political on social media this is because Frodo has a very strong moral compass and wants to get the word out about important issues.
Boromir
He’s a twitch streamer I’m sorry. He also has twitter at hornofgondor. Likes everyone of Merry and Pippin’s videos and posts and reposts them with captions like “love these guys!!!” Mostly shares memes on twitter and facebook very much dad vibes
Gandalf
Posts weird shit that no one understands on facebook and instagram at thegreywizard
Bilbo
He has facebook and likes to tag his relatives in things that he knows will annoy them. Other than that he just posts memories of Frodo like the proud parent he is Like every birthday he’ll post something really sweet and sappy like “so proud of the young man he’s become”
Elrond
He gets in trouble on twitter sometimes but not nearly as much as Thranduil
Faramir
Insta and tiktok at stewardstew. Mostly posts pics of his cats. Reposts everything Eowyn posts. Likes to uplift his friends. Answers citizen questions on official gondor accounts very warmly. Also shares memes
Eowyn
She has a podcast and everyone has been a guest at some point. She highlights inequalities in middle earth. Lots of reposts of feminist events and programs. Badass pics of her with her sword on her insta and tiktok. She does lots of tiktok challenges. Her username is iamnoman on tiktok and eowinner on instagram
Arwen
Like legolas is all over insta posts lots of glammy photos in the woods as well. But she also shares a lot of Eowyn’s posts. Posts lots of inspirational quotes and stuff. Is really into yoga and posts about that as well. Her name on all social medias is evenstarwen
#lotr#frodo baggins#sam gamgee#aragorn#eowyn#merry brandybuck#legolas#pippin took#boromir#gimli#gandalf#samfro#lotr headcanons#faramir#arwen undomiel#bilbo baggins
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Recently had a LOTR/The Hobbit marathon with the siblings so have TBB watching LOTR/The Hobbit headcanons:
Once or twice a year they'll sit down and have these marathons - usually while also eating a big Hobbit-styled meal
First started with Echo wanting to show Omega the movies and while they were watching them together, the rest of the Batch came to sit and watch too
Crosshair at first was like "Tch. Nerds, you like this shit?" and then Aragorn popped onto the screen and suddenly Crosshair was very invested (in the plot, of course)
Wrecker enjoys it for the action and thinks the Elves are cool while Hunter watches it because they all watch it and he doesn't want to be left out (he has no idea what's going on but Tech keeps him informed and updated)
Crosshair has a crush on Aragorn while Wrecker has a crush on Lady Arwen
Hunter attempted to bleach his hair ONCE because Legolas inspired him (it did not go well)
Crosshair took up archery because of Legolas and is very good at it
Tech: "Did you know in this scene, Viggo-"
Omega always quotes the "I am no man" scene before immediately attacking the nearest brother to her with a pillow
Hunter will also quote the war speeches Theoden and Aragorn give before riding out into battle and only Omega and Wrecker find it entertaining (they'll scream "DEAAATHH!!" after him)
Echo and Tech are the only ones who've read the books (Omega is in the process but it's a struggle)
Crosshair totally does not get emotional over Faramir and Boromir - oh no definitely no he doesn't cry when Faramir asks his dad if he'd rather he died over Boromir
Actually they are all emotional over Boromir's death
Also for that matter, Crosshair totally does not get super emotional over Samwise and how utterly loyal he is to Frodo - nope definitely not!
They play "take a shot every time Pippin fucks up something" while watching
Every time there's an Orc on the screen they'll point at each other and go "That's you." or "Wow, I can't believe you're in this movie too."
Y'know that scene in Helm's Deep when Aragorn comes through the door?? Yeah. Crosshair nearly fainted.
Gollum freaks Wrecker the fuck out and Crosshair revels in this fact because he can do the voice
When Omega saw the Hobbit for the first time she was so upset about Killi dying that she didn't talk to Tech and Echo for a few days because she was like, "Why would you make me watch this?? >:'( That was so sad!!"
for that matter Wrecker was also crying when Killi died and then Bilbo's reaction to Thorin's death had all of them crying/tearing up
Crosshair hates watching the Hobbit because everyone always brings up how much him and Bilbo are alike (in terms of sass)
Though that one scene in BotFA where Bilbo is showing Thorin the acorn and talking about planting it, the first time Crosshair saw that and saw how Thorin was looking at Bilbo the man fucking melted and now holds all potential partners to that standard (and to Aragorn)
Tech: "Well, now that we've finished watching the entire series, who wants to watch the extended cut?" - "THERE'S MORE!?!"
Feel free to add on!
#love these movies#can only watch them like twice a year though#because once i watch one i have to watch the rest of them#and they're so fucking long#but i love them#more specifically i love aragorn#i'm going to fight crosshair for him#tbb#the bad batch#tbb headcanons#clone force 99#tbb hunter#tbb echo#tbb wrecker#tbb tech#tbb crosshair#tbb omega#lotr#the hobbit
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Baggenshield where after they defeat Smaug they find a dragon egg and everyone's like destroy it!!! But before they can it hatched and bilbo is ABSOLUTELY taken with it and refused to let anyone hurt his wittle baby he plans to raise now (I mean he took in frodo he has major dad who stepped up vibes) and he just puppy eyes thorin and Gandalf and you know Gandalf is like hrumph! (but internally he's like well if anyone can make a dragon good it's a hobbit). Thorin is all grumbly too but relents and is all keep it away from my gold so bilbo is all oh...I guess I gotta go ...and thorin is like uh well...we shall lock the gold up and put guards on it bc now his crush is way too important compared to the gold and you just see thorin taking more and more care of the baby bc it's what bilbo loves so much rn and eventually the baby dragon learns to speak and is like u wuv my daddy don't u and thorin is like 😶 .....and then baby dragon is like I will grow up big and take this mountain again like my evil daddy if u hurt my little daddy and thorin is like ...well ....at that point I couldn't get mad... anyway family of thorin bilbo & their baby dragon 💙
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fellowship fav disney rides:
pippin: tower of terror. if not buckled in properly he will hit the ceiling. likes to make faces for the camera and tickle people with their arms up mid ride.
merry: space mountain, he will wait extra for front seats. once got a nose bleed on the ride. enjoys the stars, music, and of course the coaster. pretends not to know it only goes 20 mph. if you tell him, he will ignore you.
sam: small world. he will hum the song days after and everyone hates it but pretends not to. he takes lots of pictures during the ride every time he goes.
frodo: indiana jones! sam will go with him but will be squeezing his hand the whole time. says his favorite is small world so sam doesn’t feel bad about dragging him there over and over again.
legolas: tea cups. likes to make as many people throw up as possible. pippin is the only one who will still go with him. thinks snow white is hilarious.
gimli: star tours. gets sick every time. one time he was picked as fugitive and he still boasts about it to this day. is personally offended by snow white.
boromir: jungle cruise. laughs at every joke, even if he’s heard it a million times. will retell said jokes given any opportunity for weeks after. also enjoys turtle talk with crush.
aragorn: brings the hobbits to sawyer island. genuinely loves the canoes and will drag boromir with him.
gandalf: ferris wheel. if he’s feeling spicy he will even do the swinging carts. likes to watch the fireworks from above.
bonus:
bilbo: soarin’ over california. will make everyone go on it with him. has opening video memorized.
gollum: pirates of the caribbean. attempts to steal fake jewlery and drinks the water. has been kicked off several times
#aragorn#lotr#hobbits#samwise gamgee#the hobbit#peregrin took#merry brandybuck#merry and pippin#legolas greenleaf#legolas#frodo baggins#gimli#gimli son of gloin#boromir son of denethor#boromir#gandalf#bilbo baggins#gollum#smeagol#lord of the rings headcanons#disney#disneyland#lord of the rings#the fellowship#dwarves#elves#lotr headcanons#jrr tolkien#pippin#pippin took
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I didn’t finish my au about Percy getting teleported into the hobbit but it posted it anyway 🫥…
Au:
Throughout the entire quest Percy has killed so many Orcs and monsters with ease making Gandalf curious…how does she have a sword?..how is she so good with a weapon if she’s just a teenage girl?…Gandalf becomes suspicious but doesn’t find out she’s a child of the gods until they are surrounded by Azog and his followers..As Thorin was about to be killed bilbo is about to save him but instead Percy saves Thorin first.finally showing some of her power when defends Thorin…since I suck at describing fight scenes I’ll let it to your imagination…when the eagles save all of them Percy used her healing powers to heal Thorin a injuries shocking them more now knowing they had a child of the gods on their side..so they promise to help her find a way home and azog..ooohh azog…he knows now too…and he doesn’t keep quiet about it now everyone in all of middle earth the Mirkwood elves,the elves in Rivendell,dwarves,kings and queens all now hear that the company of Thorin Oakenshield have a god on their side making everyone shocked….and when they finally take Erabor back from Smaug Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat..and because of that Percy goes with bilbo to give the Arkenstone to Thranduil and bard..they were both worried about the company being too powerful with a child of the gods on their side and the fact they don’t even know what the child of the gods look like so when bilbo arrives with Percy they don’t recognize her..so when they find out she is the child of the gods they try to convince Percy to join them and help them take down Thorin..she wants to deny and she only wants to go home..but they disagree Thranduil..Because he finally had someone powerful enough to steal back his wife’s gems..(and maybe because Percy reminds him of his wife very much) and Bard because Percy can help and protect the people of lake town..(also because he sees her as his child)..Gandalf wants her because she can help stop the war and she can help protect the company..during the beginning of the five armies the company demand Percy comes back while the Thranduil and bard demands she comes on their side..then Thorins cousin arrives and some hen he sees Percy he demands Percy is on their side…they all want Percy on their side so they all fight over it..then when azog comes he wants Percy so he can have more power(obviously) and joins the fight…and I’m getting very tired so Im sorry if I was very lazy with the ending..when Thorin comes to his senses and the army of elves,men, and dwarves reluctantly join together Percy finally joins the fight and uses a lot of her power taking down a lot of orcs…and she saves fili and Kili in the process..after the war they still fight over her but surprise surprise the summoning had a limited amount of time so while they fight over her she is sent away pissing them off as they try to summon her back..it never works again until…she is summoned again by the fellowship in the LOTR….thats all I got tell me if this idea is crap or not cause I think it would be a good story…especially if you wrote it..feel free to ignore this I just had an idea…
THERE'S MORE 🥳
"Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat"
i got mixed results on thorin's height (saying he's 5'2" or between 4'5"-4'8") but he's a shortie regardless so i'm just imagining percy easily kicking him over LMAO
and thranduil.... 🤤
that name just awakened something in me.... 🤤 🤤 🤤
im pretty sure i had a huge ass crush on him when i was a kid (i'm probably gonna start looking at thranduil fics cuz of you lol)
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Frodo Baggins x Female!Hobbit!Reader: Girl
Summary: Frodo doesn’t really mean it about turning Merry and Pippins into toads, but there are times he wonders if that wouldn’t make things a little easier on everyone else.
Rating/Tags: All (Movie canon; during canon; Fellowship of the Ring; A Long-Expected Party; Pippin & Merry; Pippin & Merry & Frodo; Frodo & Gandalf; Sam/Rosie; quarreling; love confession; birthday party; the Shire)
Challenge: “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.
Tag List: @imaginesfire
Girl
Bilbo’s eleventy-first birthday party had been the talk of the whole Shire for almost the entire year that led up to it. Every hobbit in the town of Hobbiton—and many more from the outlying regions—was invited to the massive celebration. To the young Frodo Baggins wandering through the crowd, it seemed that each and every one of them had come. Plus some, he judged, as a line of his uncle’s well-wishers nearly crushed him in their eagerness to get to the buffet. He had seen nearly everyone he cared to, including Merry and Pippin and Rosie and Sam...save for the one person he had hoped to see most.
The weight in Frodo’s stomach grew heavier and heavier the longer his search for you went on. Could it be that you hadn’t come? Of all the hobbits to skip his coming of age party—and to add to that, he knew that it was his fault if you had! If only he had not said what he’d said just that very week. Then maybe, maybe—
“Frodo!”
He looked up to see Merry and Pippin waving at him from beside the band playing for the wide field of dancers between Frodo and his friends. Both grinned widely upon catching his eye. Unable to entirely hide his disappointment, Frodo morosely picked his careful way through the throng of party-goers to the pair. Neither of them stopped smiling.
“Why the long face, Frodo?” Merry asked.
“Are you still looking for [Name]?” added Pippin.
Frodo looked over his shoulder at the constantly-shifting dancers, half-expecting to see you there with some other neighborhood tween. He did not. Pippin’s grin widened as Frodo turned back to him and Merry.
“Never fear,” Pippin gave Frodo a hearty clap on the back, “for we have found your maiden fair.”
Frodo tried to protest this, but Merry overrode him: “A little bird told us precisely where you can find her.”
“Who was the little bird?” asked Frodo.
Merry shrugged carelessly and reached for a passing tray of ales. “Gandalf,” he answered, passing Pippin a drink of his own while the latter nodded sagely.
“You know, I rather think Gandalf suspects us of something, Merry.”
“I believe you are correct, Pippin. And that he believes sending us on this errand to help Frodo will keep us from any mischief.”
“A pity for Gandalf. Everyone has to be wrong from time to time, I suppose, even great wizards such as he.”
Both sniggered into their mugs. Frodo waited for them to get to the point. They didn’t. At last, unable to wait any longer, he said:
“Well? Where is she?”
Merry gave a slight start, as though he had forgotten that Frodo was even there. He pointed off towards the edge of the main tent.
“Her mother has her helping with the catering, or so [Name] claims.”
“So you’ve spoken to her?”
Pippin shook his head. “Threw a plate right at my nose when we tried. You’ll probably have better luck.”
“I doubt it,” Frodo murmured.
After gulping down the last of his ale, Merry made a shooing motion with his free hand. “Well, run along and find out, why don’t you? And if you see Gandalf along the way, tell him we passed along his message and were perfectly well-behaved for the duration of our conversation.”
Frodo knew that he ought to have been more concerned with his companions’ plans. If Gandalf desired to keep them occupied, it was probably for the best. A lot of planning had gone into this party. Merry and Pippin were more likely to ruin it with their particular brand of trouble than any of the other guests—and that included the horrible Sackville-Bagginses. On the other hand, Gandalf must have wanted Frodo to talk to you, if he’d gone out of his way to give him your whereabouts.
It hardly mattered. Before Frodo could breech the topic of whatever trouble the two were up to that evening, they had disappeared into the crowd. Oh, well. He hadn’t really wanted to tell them off anyway. His heart just wasn’t in it.
Relieved of this duty—though not without feeling some slight trepidation over what Merry and Pippin might have planned—he made his way in the direction indicated. This led him straight to a smaller tent set off from the rest of the festivities. Frodo joined the fast-moving line to the entrance and eventually came close enough to peek inside. A veritable hive of busy hobbits in uniform bustled endlessly before him.
None of them seemed to notice him slipping into the warm darkness after them. Everyone was far too busy with their assigned task. Here the party’s considerable amount of food was prepared, and none of the workers had time to rest. A constant stream of them carrying plates both empty and full moved in and out from the tent’s entrance flap. Heat from exertion and so many cooking fires pressed against Frodo’s skin until he was quite as pink in the face as those doing the baking. Of course, he found you at the very back, scowling over a steaming tub of water filled with dirty serving platters.
He was not surprised you were hiding among the cooks. Your mother was considered one of the top chefs in Hobbiton, and Bilbo had hired only the best for his eleventy-first birthday party. What did surprise Frodo was your expression. Rarely had he seen you appear so dour, and you hadn’t even spotted him yet.
“Pardon me, Mister Frodo,” said a man at Frodo’s back, “but if you wouldn’t mind scooting out of the way, I’d be much obliged. We’re rather in a hurry.”
Frodo hastily crossed the aisle in which he’d been lingering. The man’s additional, “and a very happy birthday to you, sir,” was lost on him, for at that very moment your eyes flashed upward to catch him in the act of spying. You dropped the platter in your hands, but being pinned in by the hobbits washing plates on either side of you, you could make no escape. One of the washers left, only for Frodo to step into the empty space.
You crossed your arms across your chest, and shot him a look eerily reminiscent of your mother. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s my party,” Frodo answered, “as well as Bilbo’s.”
Apparently this was the wrong answer, because you threw him a dirty look and bent to snatch your dropped plate from the sudsy water. “Then go enjoy your party,” you snarled, attacking a stuck on bit of potato with more vigor than Frodo thought necessary.
He inched closer, the better to stay out of the way of those continually coming to deposit dinnerware in need of washing. “I can’t,” he said. “I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
Your mother had explicitly freed you from catering duty for the party. She had done it as a favor to Frodo, an early birthday present, she had said. Why, then, did you seem so insistent on doing what wasn’t your job for the evening? Without bothering to look at him, you dropped your tray back into the tub, then reached over the resulting splash for a new plate.
“I’m sure Merry and Pippin would be more than happy to talk with you,” you said coldly.
“I don’t think I want involved with whatever they’re up to.”
“Bilbo, then.”
“He’s busy playing host.”
“Gandalf.”
“How would he keep an eye on Merry and Pippin?”
You threw your hands up in the air in frustration, and lost your grip on the plate. “Why not Sam?”
Frodo shuffled his feet. You were nearing the subject of your fight, whether you realized or not. “He and Rosie are dancing.”
Nose wrinkled, you rummaged through the water in search of your platter. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Frodo. Those are all the boys I know, and your only friends. After all, you told me yourself we can’t be friends, because I’m a girl.”
His wide blue eyes closed in shame. Frodo had said that. He hadn’t meant it. The whole thing had been badly bungled, and now he didn’t know how to un-bungle it, or if you’d even give him the chance to try.
“I didn’t mean it like that, [Name].”
You did not answer this time. Having retrieved your wet things, you made a silent, angry beeline for a rack of clean towels to dry them with. He followed as quickly as he could, given how many hobbits were inside such an enclosed area. He wished he wasn’t having this fight so publicly—not that anyone really had the time to eavesdrop.
“[Name], I didn’t,” he insisted as he caught up to you. “You’re a girl.”
“Oh, very astute observation,” you said semi-hysterically. Now the pitch of your voice was drawing attention. “What would I do without you? I already figured out I was a girl because, in case you haven’t noticed, we're no longer friends!”
Frodo took a deep breath. Like mother like daughter—though he supposed you were still a tween, with your own coming of age several months away still. Either way, he was terrified of your rage, but this might be the last chance he got to explain himself. Bracing himself, he lightly looped one hand around your wrist. You fell into an enraged silence at once.
“You’re a girl and my friend,” he said, before you had the opportunity to recollect yourself. “When I said I didn’t have any friends that were girls…well, I meant that you’re something more.”
“What?” you said after a moment of struggle.
Encouraged by your not making to run off again, Frodo slipped his hand from your wrist to your palm. “I didn’t mean that we weren’t friends. I was trying to ask you to dance with me. I just didn’t phrase it right.”
A strange noise like a cross between a giggle and a squeak escaped you. You still had not forced him to release you. “You wanted to dance? With me?”
The odd tone of your voice gave Frodo some doubts. You were not normally the kind of person to repeat others either. He offered you a hesitant nod.
“I didn’t mean to make you think you mean less to me than Sam and the rest. You don’t. You mean more. But,” he added when you remained as stiff as a statue in front of him, “if you want to just stay friends, I understand. So long as we’re still friends.”
Seconds went by as you continued to gape at him. His heart sank, and he let go of your hand at last. Yes, he understood you wanting to remain friends, but that didn’t mean he wasn't disappointed by this turn of events. Bilbo’s occasional asides about broken hearts made sense now. Frodo mashed his lips together for a long moment before he gathered his wits about him to take his leave.
“You’re busy," he said awkwardly as he backed away. "Bilbo will be looking for me. We’ll talk some other—”
“Of course I’ll dance with you!”
Frodo had barely got two steps toward the crowded tent exit when you practically tackled him in a hug. Twisting in your grip, he looked around to see your scowl had transformed into an enormous smile.
“You will?” he said. Bewildered as he was, his heart felt ten pounds lighter even as you shuffled off him to allow him room to stand.
“Yes! I—I like you as more than a friend, too. I’d love to dance with you. If,” you looked suddenly shy, “if you still want to after I was so mean.”
“You weren’t mean. I said the wrong thing. I got nervous.”
You smiled again, a little less brightly this time. “So…still more than friends?”
“More than friends,” he said. “But can you leave? Will your mother let you?”
“Are you kidding? She’ll serve me next if she catches me hiding from you in here.”
Just like that, you both were hand in hand again. Frodo squeezed yours firmly in his own. “Let’s go. I think I can get the band to play—”
KABOOM!
Everyone in the tent yelped and froze. Plates trembled. Frightened hobbits dropped their plates. You threw Frodo a knowing look.
“Pippin and Merry?” you asked.
“Pippin and Merry,” Frodo said wearily. “Let’s go see what sort of trouble they got in this time.”
“Then we dance?”
“Then we dance.”
The two of you ducked out of the food tent and headed for where Gandalf and a cluster of half-drunk hobbits—all grumbling over the fright they had received—were gathered.
It was hard for Frodo to be too upset with Merry and Pippin after they’d help him get together with you. Gandalf had, too, however, so it could be that they were about to get what they deserved. It all depended on how much time this business took, and if Frodo at last got to have his long-awaited birthday dance.
On second thought, he hoped Gandalf turned them both into toads. It would be faster, Frodo thought, and after all, Gandalf could always turn them back...after you and Frodo had your dance.
#fan fic#straw writes#reader insert#second person pov#one shot#challenge fic#request#frodo#frodo baggins#lord of the rings#lotr#frodo x reader#frodo x you#frodo x y/n#frodo baggins x reader#frodo baggins x you#frodo baggins x y/n#lord of the rings x reader#lord of the rings x you#lord of the rings x y/n#lotr x reader#lotr x you#lotr x y/n#lord of the rings reader insert#lotr reader insert#frodo reader insert#frodo baggins reader insert
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FOTFICtember - Chapter 5
Kyra goes camping. Bilbo has a hot shower. Everyone eats entirely too much sugar :D
Prompts: cuddling, soft, cinnamon, cold hands, rainstorms, sweet treats
Pairing: Ori x OC, Kíli x Tauriel, Bilbo x Thorin
Words: 1495
Warnings: sexual innuendo
As soon as he was gone, Tauriel stopped at the edge of the bonfire.
The dancing flames filled her rich, red hair with reflections of dying embers, and Kyra was mesmerised enough by the sight not to question the sudden interruption of their plans.
“So, what did we miss?” the elfin beauty then asked, turning back to face Kyra, her bright eyes piercing and her soft mouth curled into a knowing smile. “Did you kiss Ori in the maze?”
“As a matter of fact, I did,” Kyra admitted. “I was made to understand that it was some kind of tradition. Maybe, I’ll have good luck from now on.”
“If you want that, yeah,” Tauriel sighed, playing with a strand of her hair absent-mindedly. “Listen, we don’t know each other as well as you might know my boyfriend and his brother, but I’d like to think that we’ve become friends since you arrived here this year, no?”
“Sure,” Kyra agreed. She couldn’t fathom what the other woman was getting at, and it started to make her nervous. “What’s up?”
“Ori…If I’ve understood the whole matter correctly, he’s had a major crush on you for years, so we decided to give him a little helpful nudge. Nevertheless, we don’t want to pressure you into something you wouldn’t be comfortable with.”
She now looked exceedingly uncomfortable and guilty.
“Do you deem him dangerous? If I were to reject him?” Kyra asked candidly for she trusted Tauriel’s assessment. Since her return to these parts, she’d come to respect and cherish Kíli’s girlfriend as a level-headed, fierce young woman.
Moreover, Kyra was not in a position to callously refuse the offer of an earnest friendship when it came her way.
“Ori? Never,” the other guffawed. “But, spending the night perched up in a tiny tent is another matter entirely than kissing in a maze, and I wanted you to be advised.”
“He’s a darling, isn’t he?” Kyra sighed and dashed forward when she saw that the corner where the cakes and buns were kept was deserted for the moment.
“Oh yes, he absolutely is,” Tauriel agreed as they shovelled as many treats as they could onto chipped plates and melted into the deep, dark shadows of the nearby treeline. “He’s the best, and we all adore him. He’d never hurt you…”
With a wicked smile, she picked a glazed cookie out of the heap and took a nibble. “I also tell you this for another reason. If, and it’s a big ‘if’, you were even the slightest bit interested in dear Ori, you’ll have to go for it. He’s too honourable by far to risk discomfiting you when you’re stuck in the middle of the forest with him.”
“Makes sense,” Kyra mused. Inspired by her friend’s brazen theft, she chose a soft, plump cupcake and took a hearty bite from it. There was more than enough to share, she thought, and the others wouldn’t miss what they’d never seen.
Admiring Tauriel’s fluid, unerring movements, Kyra let herself be led far beyond the warming light of the bonfire into the heart of the woods.
Ahead, a dimmer, more unsteady gleam beckoned to them, and soon they’d reached the makeshift camp of three tents nestled between the massive roots of the surrounding trees.
“Ah, there you are, my love,” Kíli exclaimed and promptly pinched a juicy slice of berry-cake from the plate Tauriel was carrying. “We were about to send out a search and rescue team!”
Rolling her eyes, the tall redhead sank onto the nest of blankets they’d scattered on the floor and sighed contentedly.
For a while, they simply sat in silence, eating cake and enjoying the charming song of the nocturnal forest, but then, the weather turned again, and a slight drizzle started to fall.
“Could turn into a proper rainstorm,” Fíli declared resolutely and went to check every single tent twice. “We better retire for the night. Sleep well!”
Kyra had not even finished her apple cider when she was ushered into the tent along with the almost empty plate and…Ori.
“Do you need anything? Now is the time,” he informed her, squinting at the dark sky suspiciously.
“No, I’m fine. My hands are a bit sticky,” she replied sheepishly and twitched when he took them in his own as if to check.
“Your hands are cold! Let me get you a wet wipe,” he exclaimed and turned around slowly in the cramped space to rummage through his bag until he pulled out his hygiene kit with a sound of triumph. “We didn’t account for such weather, I’m afraid, so there’s no space heater,” he said apologetically.
The whole floor of the tent was littered with soft, fluffy blankets, and Kyra burrowed herself into them eagerly as the staccato of furious rain started to batter the paper-thin walls in earnest.
Meanwhile, Ori’s gaze flitted nervously through their tiny sanctuary as if searching for a corner into which he could simply disappear.
“Come here,” Kyra invited, desperate to feel his warmth again. “I know a trick for dispelling the cold.”
As soon as he’d joined her, laying down on his side to face her, she pulled one of the blankets over them, tucking it in around their bodies to create a bubble of shared body heat.
Tauriel’s words came back to her, and she lifted her gaze to his comely face in hopes of seeing any indication of that secret affection that had been insinuated.
“Do you…Are you warm enough?” Ori asked, worry tingeing his voice.
“In a moment,” she replied, willing her teeth not to chatter too loudly as she inched closer to him little by little.
“I could…” he mumbled, snaking his arm around her and rubbing her back in slow, firm circles. “How’s that?”
“Wonderful,” Kyra admitted truthfully and scooted closer still until she was pressed against his chest, breathing in his clean, wholesome smell greedily.
Nestled in his warmth, she smiled as she felt his lips brush against the crown of her head silently—this was all the encouragement she needed.
Thus, she tilted up her face to catch that furtive, tender kiss and deepen it.
“You taste like cinnamon,” she slurred against his mouth. “I somehow knew you would.”
“’s because I’m a ginger, huh?” he replied in the same muffled voice, unwilling to pull back and end the kiss.
“Brown sugar and cinnamon,” she purred. “Sweet and a bit spicy, yeah, that’s how I imagined you.”
Outside, the world was seemingly ending, but Kyra cared nought.
Her cold legs were intertwined with Ori’s strong thighs and sturdy calves, and she had buried her cold fingers in the fleece of another sweatshirt—he apparently had an endless supply of soft, warm fabrics at his disposal—and she started to wonder what it would feel like to peel these protective layers off him one by one.
She decided to find out anon.
Across the forest, Bilbo was dripping wet and laughing breathlessly as he raced towards his car, Thorin hard on his heels.
“A rainstorm!” Bilbo cried. “And I thought it was all going so well until now!”
“It was a success, don’t fret,” the other reassured him. “And I’m sure that Kyra is doing just fine wherever she is. Probably snuggled up in a warm tent, giggling into Ori’s foolish face!”
“Ah, you’d know about silly visages, wouldn’t you?” Bilbo grinned as he sped down the muddy forest path towards his quaint little cottage. “I’m too cold and wet to stay a moment longer than I must in this car,” he declared and turned up the heat to the maximum.
“So you’ll send me home on foot in this deluge?” Thorin exclaimed, feigning vexation.
“I didn’t say that, you oaf!” Bilbo laughed. “As the kids are all busy doing Yavanna knows what, I invite you to join me for a hot, restorative shower.”
This idea did much to brighten Thorin’s mood, and he even hummed a little tune as they pulled into Bilbo’s driveway.
“Just the shower?” he then asked when they kicked off their sopping wet shoes and shrugged out of their drenched clothes that clung disgustingly to their clammy skin. “Or…”
“I might have squirrelled away a few extra cakes and sweet treats in the pantry,” Bilbo informed him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “For the day after feast, but…”
“They’ve had quite enough sugar, I dare say!” Thorin declared haughtily, catching the other by the hips and pulling him into a passionate kiss that should have made any remaining moisture turn into steam within a single moment.
“Right you are,” Bilbo moaned. “We can eat them in bed, later. Now, we really need a hot shower. I can’t wait any longer to see you undressed. Come! After all, it’s a night for falling stars and magic.”
“Your wish is my command, dear colleague,” Thorin grinned. “As you know, I’d do anything for the success of the autumn fair.”
↳ Masterlist
@fellowshipofthefics here's the last chapter of my fic for September! Thank you for celebrating autumn with me!
Lots of love from me! <3
#og post#FOTFICtember#Fotfics#fotfic september challenge#Chapter 5#cuddling#soft#cinnamon#cold hands#rainstorms#sweet treats#Ori x OC#Ori#Thilbo#Bagginshield#Bilbo x Thorin#Thorin x Bilbo#Bilbo#Thorin#Kíli#Kíli x Tauriel#Tauriel
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Bagginshield Book Club Discussion #57: "My Sister's Boyfriend" by DomesticGoddess
Join us on Saturday, June 29th at 10 AM CDT (-5 GMT) as we wrap up our Parentshield series with a discussion of a modern AU work by @domesticgoddesswriter 🥰
My Sister's Boyfriend by DomesticGoddess https://archiveofourown.org/works/53280337 Rating: Mature Length: 33,112 Warnings: none Notes: This modern AU has a wonderful model of platonic co-parenting along with a funny misunderstanding that leads to a satisfying resolution that's really just the first third of the whole story! Summary: Bilbo is good friends with the Durins. Being the sole guardian of a young Frodo, he and Dis quickly bonded over play dates between their little ones. So much so that Bilbo and Frodo are practically considered family, attending all the Durin get togethers and events. Though it’s never been officially announced, the whole family believes that they’re an item and just keeping it quiet for the kids’ sakes. Most are accepting and supportive of Dis’s assumed lover. Except Thorin. He can’t stand the short, curly-haired intruder. Everyone’s so taken with the man, and it irks Thorin terribly. He never has anything pleasant to say and just looking at Bilbo makes a scowl pull at his face. That Bilbo is objectively adorable and Thorin might, kind of, sort of, have a crush on the guy has nothing to do with it. Oblivious to the Durin family’s speculations, Bilbo is quite decidedly gay, though he prefers to keep it quiet. Dis is more like a sister to him. He’s very aware of Thorin’s intimidating glowers and aggressive hovering and is convinced that Thorin suspects his true nature. Despite all that, he can’t seem to keep his gaze from always seeking out the eye candy that is Thorin Durin. -------
#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#bagginshield#the hobbit#thorin x bilbo#thilbo#the hobbit fanfiction#fanfic#tolkien#bagginshield book club#discord book club
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do you have a fave member of the company and of the fellowship? if so, who and why?
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh ho ho! Well I’m glad it isn’t too overly obvious 😉 as far as the fellowship goes I’m a big Pippin girlie! From the company I love Ori so much, such a sweetheart and I love non traditional masculine characters every single time! And innocent cinnamon rolls are my kryptonite. I just love him! Bofur, he’s just so adorable and heartwarming and goofy and ahhh! Plus his early exchange with Bilbo is so iconic. “Think furnace with wings.” To quote what my personal blog @spacemanxpaninis has on its page about all my favorite characters:
On Pippin-
“My childhood fictional character crush! …that kinda carried into adulthood… I’m a sucker for humor and adorable innocent dorks, plus Pippin is extremely neurodivergent-coded and it does my clumsy screw-up heart good to see a clumsy screw-up type character. But you know what? Pippin is a hero. He overcomes so much and matures a lot and he’s not perfect, but that’s part of why I love his character. He’s different from all the other unique figures and has a heart of gold, but doesn’t always know how to use it. He wants to help and it breaks his heart that people around Pippin think otherwise and that in turn breaks MY heart. He’s just the cutest, sweetest man and I want to make him happy forever. Plus PLEASE that scene at Sam’s wedding I WILL maintain that is the funniest thing that happens in those movies darnit he is HILARIOUS. That and mission…quest…thing. Iconic. Who is doing it like him.”
On Sweet Ori-
“It kinda kills me how little screen time we got of each dwarf from The Hobbit because of sheer numbers and how much screen time they wanted to give to bigger names mostly the line of Durin. Because here we have dear sweet Ori, canonically in the movies the youngest company member and one of the most polite, this young scribe finding his courage alongside his big brother on a quest to reclaim a homeland he’s never even been to. Yes, more patterns, another cinnamon roll. I never said I had no blorbo type ok? I just adore Ori’s innocence but also the way he balances having traditional dwarf interests with other things like his art, writing, knitting, and such. He doesn’t entirely conform to his people’s standards, but seemingly isn’t too outcast for that either and I find that to be a high word of the dwarrow. Ori is just a little sunshine character for me that always makes me happy :) I wish others appreciated him more too!”
On Bofur:
I mean come on, everyone loves Bofur right??? If not THEY SHOULD! Like, his whole thing is being lovable come on. One of the most unique designs among the dwarves, Bofur looks far different from the stereotype and that’s a wonderful element of ‘not all of any given people look the same’ plus it makes him stand out even more. Bofur is such a comfort character- you know he gives the warmest hugs EVER and he holds you for as long as he can. Bonus points for being one of the first to really welcome Bilbo because he’s just that kind and accepting of a person, someone who would take a lot to really dislike somebody. Beyond being kind he’s also a great listener AND a great party companion, the epitome of ‘get you a man who can do both’ as equal gusto goes into dancing and singing and being with the people he loves and being there for them too. I just know he would be the best dad too ugh.
Lomls fr thanks for letting me rant and plug my personal blog anon 😉🥰
#lord of the rings#the hobbit#pippin took#bofur#ori#blorbos#rant hehe#ask#anon#⭐️⭐️⭐️ anon#thanks so much for this twas fun 🫶🏻
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TBITB LOTR AU (that will never happen)
because @teaforarteza said the words "lotr au" and, well. there are nine of them.
we worked out a casting and nothing else, but if anyone has additional thoughts please feel free to suggest/argue/take inspiration :>
Roger as Gandalf: man of few words (in the book), bow seat = deftly guiding the shell (group), very good techninique in both rowing and studying the arts of the sacred flame etc etc
The Nine Walkers
(obviously this is a boromir lives au because how could i possibly kill any of them)
Joe as Aragorn: very caring and concerned about the welfare of others, motivated by a deep and abiding love, complicated parentage, closely attuned to the needs and movements of the ring bearer
Bobby as Boromir: fiercely loyal, skilled commander and strategist (sometimes in a cold-blooded fashion), used to getting his way
Johnny as Legolas: rich kid/from a noble lineage, a bit high and mighty ("it was foul"), in tune with nature
Gordy as Gimli: down to earth (aka from a dairy farm), slowly becomes great pals with Legolas/Johnny, very stoic and calm in bloody situations
Jim as Merry: a worrier (especially about his best buddy Chuck) and a planner, *slightly* taller than Pippin/Chuck, often takes others under his wing
Chuck as Pippin: the comedic heart of the group, doesn't always think before he speaks, smokes a lot, often hits on the solution somehow anyway
Shorty as Sam: supportive and loyal (got your back etc), often overlooked, sweet and a little naive (as the youngest)
Don as Frodo: the linchpin of the group, carries a burden (lung issues), is following a path not his own but everyone else follows him, possesses a quiet strength
With supporting cast as follows:
Ulbrickson as Elrond: sets the nine on their quest and keeps an eye on them
Joyce as Arwen: obviously
Royal Brougham as Bilbo: writing his book and hanging out with Ulbrickson
Pocock as Galadriel: wise and knowing, provides the nine with things they need for their quest
Bolles as Celeborn: idk someone has to be
Ebright as Theoden: rival kingdom but an ally in the end
Coy as Eowyn: would like his chance to prove himself, crush on Joe(??)
Morry as Faramir: cox solidarity with Bobby/Boromir
That guy from USRowing as Denethor: tries to block their way because he feels his hands are tied
??? as Saruman: help please??
Gollum as himself
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The Second Chance Of The Third Age (Part 2)
“Right, let's get these lined up,” Bilbo says as he helps cram the chairs around the table. “Got so carried away with the food I forgot about this. Thorin, can I sit beside-”
Thorin sits and pats a chair that's already next to his, and Bilbo smiles and takes the seat. Thorin reaches over and clasps Bilbo’s hand tightly in his own, and Bilbo turns his hand over to hold it back.
“I think we should start by making sure everyone's caught up,” Bimbo says as Gandalf, last of all, settles into a chair a bit to the side. The wizard in question raises his eyebrows.
“I don't believe that to be wise, Bilbo-”
“Oh, but I do. We're not dancing around the topic, Gandalf, not when things are as serious as they are.”
“That's an understatement,” Gloin grumbles, well aware of exactly what Bilbo was thinking of. “That should go first, I think.”
“Right. Yes. Six of you… never knew.” Bilbo clears his throat, clearly withholding a few tears. “Well, to keep it short, in about seventy or so years Sauron will return.”
Thorin stiffens, and Fili and Kili gape. Oin turns to Dwalin with wide eyes, and he doesn't even need to ask if he'd heard right for Dwalin to nod. Balin presses his hands to his mouth, muffling a low, mournful sound, and Ori chokes on the ale he'd been drinking.
“What's more, I uh… may have discovered, when he did, that I ah… picked up his One Ring in the goblin tunnels. And I'd used that ring on our adventure many times, as well as to, ahem, to avoid unwanted guests and relatives, later on.” His voice is tight, and his expression much the same. An old, old guilt rests behind it all.
For a moment there’s nothing but silence and stares, horrified stares. All but those returned from early death and Gandalf knew that he'd had The Ring, of course, but hearing he used something so terrible so often and on such casual uses as avoiding company…
“It did get destroyed,” Bilbo quickly assures, looking at Gandalf. “And I did give it up. My nephew- well, technically cousin, but we'd always been more like nephew and uncle than cousins- took it to Mordor and destroyed it. You were involved in that too, of course.”
Gandalf eyes Bilbo quizzically. “You gave it up? By your own will?”
“And a push, from um, from you,” Bilbo admits. “But yes, I left it behind when I was eleventy-one and traveled to- well, I intended The Lonely Mountain, but I only got as far as Rivendell before age caught up.”
“My son helped in the quest,” Gloin chimes in, eyes shining with pride. “And got that miserable wood elf prince wrapped around his finger in the process! ‘Goblin Mutant’ indeed, ha! The right bastard couldn’t stand to be parted with my boy after they returned!”
Bilbo makes a sort of hum-whine noise. “Not quite how that went. Granted, Legolas smuggled Gimli into Valinor, but I wouldn't say he was wra-”
“Well I do. Imagine Thranduil's face! His own son, bringing a Dwarf of Erebor to their cherished lands! Ha!”
There's a cheer with the much lighter, happier news, and a quick round of drinking in honor of Gimli, Elf-Charmer.
Gandalf looks near ill.
“Wait.” Fili looks around the table. “Bilbo said six of us didn't make it.”
Balin, Oin, and Ori raise their hands- Ori somewhat hesitantly. Dori and Nori have been glued to his side the entire time, and now they both somehow manage to move even closer to him, like an overfilled sandwich crushed in a desperate grip.
“In Khazad-dûm.” Balin's voice shakes, eyes brimming with tears. “I… I lead a party to try and reclaim it. I can never beg enough for your forgiveness-”
“Don’ you dare to start, then,” Oin interrupts. “Ori and I knew what we signed up for.”
Ori has both of his arms around his older brothers, all three crying quietly. In his own last moments, as he scratched out a recounting of their doom, Ori’s last thoughts had been that he hoped his brothers would be alright without him.
“Balin.” Thorin's voice cracked. “Why?”
Balin shakes his head, drawing a shuddering breath. “I don't know. Grief, maybe. Hubris, after we reclaimed Erebor. It's hard to remember why I felt it so important after all it took from us.”
“... If-if it helps,” Bilbo says, “Gimli was able to pass through with his company. He saw the mines of mithril, the great halls- Frodo said it was a wonder, for all the perils it brought them, and… all the grief.”
Balin is quiet for a moment, and then nods. “At least one Dwarf lived to see it, I suppose. But I hope he won't pass through it again in this life.”
“As if I'd let him,” Gloin says, mostly reassuring his brother. Oin nods thankfully.
“But that’s only three, four counting me.” Fili’s eyes travel the table, but they never land on the remainders- not until Kili puts his hand on his brother’s shoulder, and then looks to their uncle as well. Fili looks between them, paling. “No.”
“It won’t happen again.” Kili grips his brother’s shoulder tightly. “We’ll stick together, no matter what.”
“And with luck, kill Azog long before The Battle. I’m sure I couldn’t convince either of you to return home even I tried-”
“Not a chance of it,” the two princes say in unison. Forgiveness is unspoken but present, clear in the loyalty still shining in their eyes- and for now, in this moment of joyous reunion and somber planning, it keeps the guilt of the king at bay.
“Now uh, onto the business of The Ring. I'll have to find it again, to destroy it, of course.” Bilbo swallows thickly at the thought, so tantalizing yet so repulsive. He hates it, and loves it, in near equal measures- but he loves Frodo far more. “Which does mean we'll have to face the goblins again at the very least.”
It seems to jar the table, going back to the topic of travesty dealt across all of Middle-Earth and not just within their own Company.
“Can't you just leave it?” Kili looks to Gandalf. “Sauron can't conquer Middle-Earth without it, can he?”
“I would doubt it…” Gandalf looks skeptically at Bilbo. “But I think our hobbit has more to share.”
“Well, he did have help.” Bilbo scowls. “Saruman. Don't trust him, Gandalf. If I ever see himself I'll-” Bilbo puffs out a breath, so teeming with rage at the thought of the wicked wizard, of being face-to-face with someone so remorseless in their evil-!
“Saruman wouldn't aid Sauron,” Gandalf whispers, quickly and with no small amount of panic. “Not without a terrible plague on his mind!”
“Plague on his-! He made armies of tens of thousands and sent them to slaughter kingdoms! He sent out goblin-orc hybrids to capture my nephew! He tried to kill you and the rest of Frodo's Fellowship in an avalanche! Plague, ha! A common cold might be enough to turn him.”
“These are not accusations you can make lightly, Bilbo Baggins!”
“Gimli told me the same!” Gloin slams his fist onto the table. “He witnessed it! Fought in Helm's Deep alongside the king of Rohan, king of Gondor, even the elf! They all said the same!”
Gandalf looks near ill. “These are grave, grave tidings. How do we know you fourteen haven't been sent back by the very power your descendants sought to destroy? Only one power in this world has been known to raise the dead.”
“I have no intentions of aiding this filth,” Thorin spits. “If Sauron sent us back for some dark purpose, he’ll barely live to regret his decision.” He turns to Bilbo. “The Ring, what had it done to you? The old tales say it had a will of it's own.”
“It did worse to Frodo. But it did… have a hold, on me. From the moment I picked it up, it held enough sway to make me hide it from you all. I won't be able to take it to Mordor alone, I-I fear it would claim me more easily than it did Frodo.”
“I would go with you.” Thorin presses his forehead to Bilbo’s. “We all would, I'm sure of it.”
Resounding agreements fill the smial. All but Gandalf, who still looks so shaken by such news that he hardly seems to be focusing on the party in front of him.
“But after Erebor,” Bilbo says firmly once it quiets down. “The Battle thinned out Sauron's armies, it'll be an easier journey. Possibly. And-and with Smaug dead, Sauron will have a major blow to his plans, because they're in league, Smaug told me so the last time around. I didn't understand it at the time but, they are.”
“And what of my part in this?” Gandalf's voice is somber. “What path must I take?”
“Let me remember- you only told me this once in Valinor, and I was very old. … I believe you went to Dol Guldur, after a meeting with the White Council in Rivendell and after taking us to Mirkwood. I think- and I hope my memory is right- you said you were saved by Lady Galadriel.”
“Who my Gimli also charmed,” Gloin couldn't help but add. “She gave him three of her hairs! He asked for one, and she gave him three! Silver-tongued like no other. We should put him on your Council, Thorin.”
“In due time, Gloin. Bilbo, The Ring-”
“Will probably get a strong hold of me again. Even knowing what it was, I-I never, truly, rid myself of it's influence, neither did Frodo. Even now, I feel empty without it. But it has to be done, Thorin. I just ask you all watch me, and make sure I don't… don't make off with it.”
“It's a promise.” Thorin whispers the words almost reverently.
“... Are you two going to be together this time, then?” Dwalin asks suddenly, with all the subtlety of his usual endeavors. Bilbo’s mouth drops open and he looks at Thorin, who-
Well, who shares none of the shock, actually. Instead he has a soft smile. Bilbo’s mouth snaps shut, though his eyes remain wide, and he gives a quick nod. Thorin gives him a much less quick, reverently lingering kiss on the forehead, and coins are tossed about the table- an old, old bet, that had never seen a true conclusion, now finally fulfilled. Gandalf rubs his forehead. “One more surprise from this party and I shall go through the entire Shire’s worth of Old Toby before our journey even begins.”
#the hobbit#fanfic#my attempts at fanfic#bagginshield#bilbo baggins#thorin's company#the company of thorin oakenshield
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Random aspec fictional character HCs
Matthew Cuthbert (Anne With an E)
Asexual + aromantic
Lived his whole life unmarried like his sister but, unlike Marilla, never had any relationships in the past. Doesn't reciprocate Jeannie's feelings and tells her his love for his adopted daughter (Anne) is the only love he has room for. Was TERRIFIED when Anne tried to set him up with Jeannie.
*(this is specific to AWAE but I think it can apply to book Matthew as well)
Selah Summers (Selah and the Spades)
Asexual + aromantic
Tbh this one might be canon (or at least heavily implied). Never has been in a relationship. Admits to Paloma that she's just never been interested in anyone in a romantic or sexual way.
Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)
Asexual + aromantic
Just doesn't seem remotely interested in romance or sex. Gets grossed out/ annoyed when people kiss in front of him.
*(this is specific to the anime, idk about the manga or live action adaptation)
**(I am not caught up on the anime, this may turn out to be incorrect)
Willie Jack Sampson (Reservation Dogs)
Asexual + aromantic
Never had a love interest or showed attraction in the show (to the best of my knowledge. If she did, I missed it). Also, THIS OUTFIT SPECIFICALLY. Her hoodie is aroace colors and her socks look like a mix of the asexual flag and the aromantic flag.
Lucy Wells (Harlots)
Grey asexual/ greysexual (+possibly aromantic? Maybe demiromantic? I haven't decided yet)
Born into prostitution but HATES sex. Avoids it as much as she can and by the last season finds a way to do her job without having to have sex. The reason I said grey ace is because she DOES seem sexually attracted to Fallon after some time of being with him (I think? I was a little confused about how she felt tbh).
Birdy (Birdy)
Asexual + demiromantic
Everyone in his life thinks it's weird that he's so interested in birds and not girls. Admits to Al he doesn't see the appeal of sex at all. Very reluctant to go to prom with Doris and had no idea what to do when she parked the car and offered him sex. I can see him developing romantic feelings after close friendship (like with Al) which is why I think he's demiromantic.
Bilbo AND Frodo Baggins (The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings)
Both asexual (+ maybe demiromantic, though I can also see Bilbo as aro)
Both remained bachelors all their lives. Bilbo lived alone and later with Frodo who was like an adopted son. Frodo lives for a long time with Sam and Sam's wife Rosie. I personally think that Sam and Frodo are in a romantic relationship, while Sam and Rosie are in a sexual relationship. Frodo seems content with this arrangement which is why I believe he's ace.
Ted Buckland (Scrubs)
Asexual
Simply because of the part where Carla says "I don't want any MAN filming me giving birth unless he's completely asexual" and then Ted walks in with a camera and Carla smiles and says "oh hi Ted!". (I think this was a poorly-aged joke about him being "ugly" more than anything but I'm still claiming it). Also when he sings the duet with Gooch and Gooch says "I want to screw you" while Ted says "I want to kiss you.
Fabian Rutter (House of Anubis)
Asexual
He's nerdy and into space (I know this is a stereotype but representation is scarce I take anything I can get... you get it right). Also his relationship with Nina is very innocent and I can't see him developing sexual attraction even when he becomes an adult.
Dirk Gently and Bart Curlish (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)
Dirk- Asexual
Bart- Aromantic
Neither of them have love interests in the show (although Bart/Ken may have been implied) so this is just how I felt about the characters personally. I think Dirk definitely had a crush on Todd and is gay but I don't think he gets sexual attraction. Bart is the opposite. I can see her developing sexual attractions and feelings but being repulsed by kissing/ dating etc.
*(this is specific to DGHDA, idk about any other versions of these characters)
Anybody feel free to add thoughts and your personal aspec character hcs <3
#anne with an e#matthew cuthbert#selah and the spades#selah summers#one piece#monkey d. luffy#willie jack sampson#reservation dogs#harlots#lucy wells#birdy#birdy 1984#bilbo baggins#frodo baggins#the hobbit#lord of the rings#scrubs#ted buckland#house of anubis#fabian rutter#dirk gently#bart curlish#dirk gently's holistic detective agency#asexual#aromantic#demiromantic#grey asexual#asexual spectrum#aspec#lgbtqia
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I am god and now am giving out sexualities to lotr charachters because no one can stop me. And I have insomnia and sleep deprived.
Frodo: A gay trans man and on the ace spectrum
Samwise: Bisexual and there's a reason I nickname him transwise gamgee. (samfro is t4t)
Pippin: Just a feral nonbinary guy (They/he) and is pansexual. he falls in love easily. Probalbly had a crush on everyone they met throughout the journey. (he even had a crush on tom bombadil because he liked his little gay songs)
Merry: Token straight out of the hobbits and is in love with eowyn, which is now his sexuality.... (I mean i dont blame him)
Boromir: Definitely not straight. I mean have you seen him? gay, absolutely gay
Aragorn: Straight but has questioned his gender many times.
Gandalf: The most aro/ace icon out there. Uses all pronouns. Will trans your gender and turn homophobes, transphobes and general bigots into toads. Move out of her way or you will be crushed by her heels.
Legolas: pretty fluid when it comes to gender, mostly uses he/they pronouns however he really doesn't mind anything else. He identifies as queer.
Gimli: he's a bear bisexual and will kill anyone who purposely misgenders another. He is dating his partner Legolas and has a lot of fun with them when they hunt down bigots.
Eowyn: She is bisexual and also loved merry (except they are both too scared to make the first move)
Faramir: Gandalf helped him transition when he was a child. All he wants is to be accepted by his father. Boromir loves that he has a brother. He is also unlabled.
Denethor: Repressed bisexual.
Arwen: I cant tell if shes straight or bi, but I’m leaning towards the latter
Elrond: The best dad in the world, but otherwise he is also straight.
Bilbo: The gay traumatized fun uncle. Obviously had a dwarf husband, but sadly is widowed. Now he sings his gay little songs and everyone adores him. mood tbh
Eomer: Straight but is extremely supportive of Gimli and Legolas that he cries whenever they do something sweet to one another. It gets worse when he's drunk.
Theodred: Hes not even really in the book but I need to spread my Boromir/Theodred rare pair ship. Hes bisexual obviously.
Galadriel: Intersex, nonbinary (they/she) and has a hot trophy husband.
Celeborn: the trophy husband, a trans man and is queer.
Saruman: He is the definition of the queer-coded villain. I mean his name is saurman of all colours and he literally transforms into a gay pride flag.
Tom Bombadil & Goldberry: They deserve to be grouped as one because they are the best representation of a queer platonic couple out there. Goals.
Rosie Cotton: Bi but doe sent really know it, but if she ever met Goldberry, she might then have her awakening.
last and not least we have Sauron himself, and anyone whose read the Silmarillion know exactly what his sexuality is. so go read it.
Anyway tell me your hcs if you have any, I would love to hear them.
#lotr#the fellowship of the ring#lord of the rings#the return of the king#bagginsheild#frodo#samwise gamgee#bilbo baggins#gandalf#hobbits#headcanons#tolkien#Sauron
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Get chaos send back from the demon 😉
Questions for the asking game:
1 , 2, 4, 5, 16, 19, 22, 25, 35
*flexes hands* - You know I love doing this.
at least two things about you, that may surprise your followers
I'm pretty fucking open about everything. Is there anything people don't know about me? Like you all know about my life and mental health and gaming etc...
I don't like coffee. Gives me back ache. Will have a nice cuppa tea instead. ummm.... I hate swimming, water, sailing etc. I almost drowned when I was 6 years old on a school trip and it's put me off since. Ironic that I married a sailor, love Gale/Chase, and include a lot of water references into my writing (subconscious stuff???)
2. Something you recently discovered for yourself and really enjoying it since than
Scrapbooking my comments and such. Like cutting them all out and sticking and doodling around them is just so nice and relaxing to do. I used to journal a lot but then just funnelled it all into fanfic instead so I guess it's kind of linked. My partner said I should write spanking. We will ignore him.
4. Something/fandom you were hyperfixed as teenager and now hyperfixing again
House. HOUUUUUSSSEEEEEE. Specifically Chase but you all know this by now and why. Honestly, was thinking about this on a walk earlier today and realised my first crush looked like a young version of him. Odd, isn't it?
I mean, just look at him. Could drown in those eyes. Also new show with him and he is bearded and I'm just fucking swooning.
5. Something you like/you have since your childhood/teenager days til now, which resembles a kind of constant in your world
My bear, Nelson. He is 31 years old? Possibly older, I bought him second hand and he's been with me ever since. Only had 12 weeks away during all that time when I was out of the country.
16. Something you like now and hated/never thought you could like when you were younger
Fanfiction surprisingly enough. After the trauma of the hobbit fic (untagged mpreg between Thorin and Bilbo) I believed that's how all fanfictions were. Just unhinged smut fests with everyone fucking and weird fucking plot twists explained through magic and shit. Didn't even cross my mind until Gale that it could be any different. Now, I will say a lot of that stuff still exists, I even read more of it, but I still don't get the appeal. Different strokes for different folks.
19. Something that was taken for granted as teenager, that you really appreciate more now because it got rare
My dad.
How much free time I just had to be me. Like studying is so easy and I excel in that environment but as a teenager I pissed it all away with drinking and skiving in the local park. No qualifications, no friends at the end of it. I wish I had more of that because those days are just gone.
Sorry, that was a horrible question.
22. Something that was easier for your younger self and seems kinda hard now
Travelling, not being anxious. I spoke about this recently on here but my anxiety has gone to shit in the last 10 years. Going from gradually being unable to do long journeys to barely leaving the house and IT SUCKS. I would honestly book a flight at random and go. I went to Berlin on a whim years ago, now I barely travel locally. Younger me was so fucking lucky in that regard and I don't even know what's changed.
Here, have this to break up the angst I'm bringing into these whimsical questions.
25. A weird fact about you that comes in your mind
Resident Evil 5 was tested on the 3ds and because it ran, they made RE: Revelations.
Short and sweet.
35. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?
Gale to be real and to have a happy life. Even if that's not with me, he just deserves it. (Is that one or two?)
I'd like my mental health fixed instantly! (without death! Got to be clear on these wishes!)
I'd like, just, healing to be easier for people. Too many people carry around trauma and I want to fix it, and make it better and see them smile. It's not fair. Let me fix stuff with hugs!
^actual gif of me hugging someone.
#ask box#real talk#see! i did all of them!#and honestly!#and with gifs!#and chase is in there too because he has to be because you asked!#ha!#not today chaos demon!
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Poll 5- Redemption
First off, thank you so much to everyone who has been voting all week!! I can’t wait to get started on these to make this an EPIC birthday week. So the way redemption works is I took the 7 highest voted fics from the previous 4 polls to give them another chance at victory. The winner of this poll will be updated on July 18th. I did copy and paste their summaries below again.
REMINDER!! July 19th (my actual birthday) is where I’ll unveil a new completed fic that I’ve been working on all year as a special gift for you. 🥰 So plenty of Sunny material about to come your way. If you haven’t gotten a chance to see the results of the previous polls, refer back to this materlist for this event.
Just to See You Happy- Frodo Time Travel Fix-It; Frodo has carried the Ring and deserves as much rest as any mortal can bear. He refuses to see his mission as complete until Bilbo finds his happiness. When Valinor does not hold the answer he needs, he launches himself into the past into an adventure that doesn’t belong to him all in the hope of finding Bilbo’s happiness.
A Mother’s Curse- Reverse Werewolf AU; A mistake made during the Fell Winter has turned Bilbo into a werewolf. Having always wondered if there was a way to reverse his curse, Gandalf believes he has found the answer. And it will require Bilbo to travel with a company of thirteen dwarves determined to take back their homeland from a dragon.
Ghost of a Chance- Wedding/Ghost of the Past AU; Bilbo’s young co-worker, Tauriel, needs somebody to walk her down the aisle at her wedding and turns to her “work-dad”. Bilbo had been all for helping her out until he gets to the venue and is faced with Thorin Oakenshield. A man he had left in the past after he escaped out a window during their one night together. However, the older and charming version of the man he met in uni is slowly winning him over. Which will come in handy because Bilbo is fairly certain he is being stalked by a ghost at this hotel…
Guarding Alliances- Guardian of Kings sequel; Bilbo Baggins, Ushmar Uzbâdu and newly engaged to the King of Erebor, must now face a challenge of a different kind: a manipulative Elf King. However, with his own brand of finding trouble and getting out of it again, Bilbo may just be able to get to the heart of the matter and improve relations between their kingdoms forever.
From the Pieces of Your Shattered Memories- Paramedic/Anmesia AU; Bilbo was just checking on a coma patient that he might have a teensy little crush on. That was it. Even though he’s a paramedic, his job doesn’t get terribly exciting. Now, he’s on the run with said man who can’t even remember who he is as they escape assassins and potentially uncover a plot that will destroy Erebor from the top.
Bedding Burglars and Chasing Dragons- Mafia/Detective AU; When Thorin Oakenshield transferred to Ered Luin PD, there was really only one thing on his mind: finally catch the monster that destroyed his family. However, he quickly learns Ered Luin lives under the rule of the local mafia and figures the only way to catch Smaug is to pretend to be a dirty cop and make nice with the supposed crime boss known only as “The Burglar”.
Outdated Version 1 | Outdated Version 2 (chances are I’ll still use the scenes but role reverse between Bilbo and Thorin)
In a Garden of Dreams, I Plant Memories- Afterlife AU; Bilbo had received a high honor. He was the gardener. Every morning, he would go out and tend to the souls planted in his garden, listening to their dreams and helping them to grow. One morning, he went out and found something different. A dwarf waiting for him who seemed to believe he had known him long ago.
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