#god damn reason and I haven’t been able to make myself do anything important and applicable to myself in the Real World

[seilon]

pretty sure I’ve been hypomanic the last week or so and I’m not sure what to do about it

[stressedoutcanary]

Family Matters - Batfamily x Reader

Summary: A surprise birthday party and Batfamily being chaotic.

“That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them”

Warnings ⚠️: Fluff, lots of it, angst because I can’t help myself, Reader has got some parental issues. Hurt/Comfort.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wanted some good dad Bruce content so I did it myself. Also I might have been influenced by a post I made a while back about Bruce and his children. I haven't used reader's pronouns anywhere so it's kinda gender neutral.

I don’t know where I was going with this, my imagines are often like a train derailed from its track but I think it’s fine. So Enjoy ;)  

•°•°•°•°

"Focus (Y/S/N), don't jump in in blind, assessing what action your opponent is about to undertake and countering it out before they can complete that action, this is the key lesson for you today", Batman's commanding voice echoed in the enclosed area of the batcave as he observed you attempting to roundhouse kick the boy in front of you. It was rather rashly executed with the hope of knocking him down which, for obvious reasons, only ended up with your leg connecting with nothing but thin air.

'Damn he is fast when he actually tries.'

"Easy for you to say Old Man! You aren't the one dancing with Mister Duckboy, the teen wonder over here!", you exclaimed, panting as your chest heaved from the exertion.

"Duckboy?!", Tim looked near scandalized as you grinned in return, stealing a glance towards the giggling crowd gathered near the stairs.

Everyone was already in the cave, it was a rare occurrence, it happened only when the issues of upmost importance were being discussed. Today was one of those days; The planning of Alfred Pennyworth's surprise birthday party.

However things usually went a lot less violent, this day every year. The sparring session this year was the result of you messing up, real bad while on patrol last night and since you were around the same age as Tim, he was found to be the most appropriate partner for it. The only drawback was that he had a staff in his hands while your weapons were confiscated, because in Bruce's words 'you rely on them too much'. You were already tired and Tim had a huge advantage over you, if you wanted to win this match you had to be quick and efficient at the same time.

Distracting Tim by your comment allowed you to have an opening, gathering all your strength you went in for a forward strike. Unfortunately he was more than ready to take you on, he crouched down, narrowly missing your punch then proceeded to swipe your legs off of the ground with his bo staff making you fall butt first on the floor.

"Congratulations you've managed to hurt both my ass and my ego, Timbers", You said laying back on the ground, hands and legs spread out and instead of helping you up, Tim joined you on the floor sitting next to you. You gave him a look that was equivalent to 'next time I get the chance, I am going to push you off a roof'.

"Your skills need improvement", Bruce said in his monotonous tone as you grunted knowing that a full ass lecture was gonna follow, but before he could get another word out, Jason chimed in with a statement no one ever expected to hear from him,"You know (Y/N), he's not wrong in fact I think the old man's actually got a point."

Jaws dropped to floor, Tim looked like he just saw a ghost, Dick who was standing near Barbara pinched himself to see whether he was dreaming or not, Damian snapped his neck up from where he was sharpening his katana, even Titus and Ace perked their heads up at the sudden silence that settled over the place. Barbara, Cass, Duke and Steph looked equally shocked.

"Before you all get any ideas, what I'm trying to say is you better pay attention because B over here won't be able to save your ass, 'cause if you slack off the next thing you know you would be in a warehouse with a maniac, getting blown to bits", Jason looked at Bruce with accusing eyes.

'And here I thought he was finally going to say something sensible', you thought to yourself as he continued,

"Take it from someone who has had that experience, you guys remember right? The fact that I--"

"Died, we know!!", everyone groaned at the same time and Bruce looked like he had to physically restrain himself from faceplaming.

"Okay! Guys how about we go ahead and do the thing we all actually came here to do instead of... whatever this conversation was", you suggested, getting up and patting the dust off your clothes.

"Well then someone has got to ask the important question here", Barbara looked around as she worded her sentence,"who is going to be the one to keep Alfred busy while we get everything ready?"

Once again the cave went silent. For a whole bunch of detectives, you all were very, very scared of Alfred, including Bruce even though he will never admit it, lying to The old-butler-cum-grandpa and making random excuses for the whole 3 hours was a thought dreadful enough to make all of you exchange petrified glances at each other hoping someone would step forward to do the job.

"I'll do it", dick raised his hand.

"NO!", everyone snapped and Dick's head tilted with a pout.

"You are good at doing a lot of stuff boy wonder, hiding things from Alfred isn't one of them", Barbara comforted Dick as Damian stepped up next.

"*tt* Since none of you imbeciles have the courage or the ability to do it. I shall be the one to handle Pennyworth. Gordon, Cain and Titus, I will require your assistance", Damian spoke or rather commanded as he went up the stairs, followed by the group he chose.

"Don't mess this up for us, you gremlin!"

"Tim!", you lightly jabbed him in the side with your elbow.

"Ow! What?"

"Be nice", you narrowed your eyes and he understood you were being serious.

"Fine I'll try, but don't blame me if he starts something", Tim shrugged carelessly. You shook your head and let out an audible sigh as you followed everyone else up towards the manor.

•°•°

"That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them", you eyed him worriedly.

"Oh come (Y/N) it'll be fine!", the cheerfulness in his voice made you cock an eyebrow at him from below. Duke slid in beside you.

"10 bucks says he will somehow fall within the next hour"

"Oh Duke you should know better, 20 says he'll fall within 30 minutes", you turned towards him with an evil smile.

"What are you both talking about down there?"

"NOTHING!", you both said in unison on which Dick gave you a confused look.

"Oh Hey look Steph needs my help with the cake so, see ya!", you quickly moved to the other side of the room checking in with Stephanie and Tim. She gave you a thumbs up to signal that everything was going according to plan and the place was almost ready. Everyone was laughing, bickering, having fun, it was all very rare and seeing it, a warm feeling spread throughout you.

You smiled to yourself for a moment but it faltered and a frown pulled up at your lips, a sorrowful thought crossed your mind, something you always kept buried deep down. Looking around and seeing as nobody needed your help at the moment you decided to slip out of the chaos, taking slow steps towards the patio to clear your head.

•°•°

Leaning against the railing you thought back to how you left your house this morning telling your mother that you are going to stay at your friend's place for a while and how she just waved her hand at that, not even questioning you anymore. Your mind was completely elsewhere, despite the awe-inspiring dense forest right in front of you, your eyes were lost in space.

You registered, a bit too late, the presence of someone standing beside you.

"It is a nice view, but something tells me that's not what brought to out here, away from everyone else"

"Careful there Brucie or people might think that you are actually capable of some emotions which happen include caring for people", you retorted back at him. It was always a sort of defense mechanism for you, whenever you felt exposed you countered it with snarky remark.

You closed your eyes hoping that Bruce would just walk away. But he didn't. He stayed there.

Bruce leaned on the railing beside you and waited. You took a deep breath, contemplating you next move carefully.

"...Look It's really silly so can we drop it?", you whispered wondering why in the world would Bruce of all people, care about your feelings.

"Talk to me (Y/N). I can tell when something is bothering you, I may not be your father, but you are my family.", unlike usual, his voice was gentle and genuine when he spoke to you.

"I am really not a fan of surprise birthdays", you stated, starting off vaguely.

"And why is that?"

"Because I...It's silly but this one time I spent a whole week working on a birthday gift for my mom, it was like a craft pop up box which had multiple photos of us together, I made that from scratch! everything in it I made that, I worked hard for it, I did it out of love but when I gave her that surprise gift you know what she said Bruce! She said that I wasted my time that she would've been much happier if I had focused on my studies, she never even once said that she liked it and I--", you looked at him with tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"I don't know Bruce, it-it just makes me feel sad you know? every little thing reminds me that my mother doesn’t seem to love me anymore. There is this constant thought in my mind that no one cares about me, about what I do for them and I don’t know what to do with a thought like that."

"That's not true, look around you kiddo, you are surrounded by people who would do anything for you, who love you from the bottom of their hearts", Bruce finally looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"That's the thing! I am not an orphan!", you blurted out and Bruce looked more confused than ever.

"I'm aware"

"No! No you are not. I am not one of those kids you picked up from somewhere, I don't live here, Like I am sure you people aren't even sane, hell! you all make up the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen! I don’t belong here, you people have no reason to care about", Bruce gave you a sideways look, slightly chuckling at your sudden description of the people in the manor.

"But I still love everyone, my mom, you, every dumbass inside the manor right now, no matter much pain they cause me and I don't get why", this time when he looked at you, you didn't look like the vigilante who sucker punched The Riddler in the face last night, you looked like a scared little kid who is lost.

Bruce stood up straight and wrapped you in a hug. Something you never expected to happen in a million years. The shocked settled in after a bit and you wrapped your hands around him, burying your face in his chest.

"The people we love are still people at the end of the day. They act out, and sometimes they let us down, hurt us even, but that doesn't mean we stop loving them. For every bad memory, there will always be a good one that will get you through it. I promise you that (Y/N)", Bruce pulled away and gave you a warm smile. You couldn't help but smile back, your face matching his.

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Bruce Wayne? because I don't recognize this man who is full of emotions and on top of that, is giving free hugs right now", you broke into a grin, making Bruce's face go back to the stoic version.

"If you tell anyone, I will deny it"

"Sure you will"

Suddenly a clattering sound came from the hall, alerting you both. This, however, was followed by a 'I'm okay!' By the one Dick Grayson, which in turn was followed by Duke's 'Oh no!'

"Any idea what that was about?", Bruce inquired raising an eyebrow as you burst out laughing.

"That, you big softie, was the sound of me getting my 20 dollars, now let's get back before they destroy everything."

•°•°

You and Bruce entered back into the hall, everyone was gathered around waiting for Damian and his group to signal the beloved butler's arrival. You stood next to Tim as Jason moved towards the switches to turn off the lights.

"Okay I'll bite why are you covered in frosting before the party even started?"

"Steph", Tim replied, too tired to elaborate, leaving you giggling.

Barbara, Cass and Damian rushed through the door, looking close to terrified, with Titus tagging along.

"He is here, HIDE!", Damian said quickly closing the doors.

After a few moments, the door creaked open and Alfred's voice came through, "Master Damian, you and I will have words for what you did to-- Oh my", he was stuck to his position at the door, too shocked to say anything more after looking at the decorations and bunch gathered around an enormous cake.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!!", you all exclaimed with extreme excitement.

As the party went on you noticed that there was, in fact, a broken chandelier broomed to the side, later on there were a few not-at-all-safe stunts performed by the boys, some really bad puns made by Dick, all sorts of shenanigans by the others and cake, lots of cake. You looked around, everyone was busy doing something but now you knew Bruce was right:

You have one hell of a family, original, found or otherwise. And you love them all no matter what.

°•°•°•°•

Tags: @thesesickfics-justmakemesick

[onepieceheadcannons]

So this wasn't requested but I wanted to give some random Headcanons

Now this post definitely isn't for everyone's taste,

Now I know quite a bit about ABO dynamics and I haven't seen any headcanons on what each strawhat would be. Now if you do not like ABO, do not worry this will be my only post with it that isn't requested and I won't be offended if you skip this.

This definitely isn't the most detailed it can go but it's like 3 am for me and I just want these HC's outta my mind.

The Strawhats

Luffy;

This man is an Alpha, I mean how else could he become Pirate King.

Now I mean no hate to omegas, I think they should be highly respected. But based on what a society in ABO is like, it makes the most sense for Luffy to be an Alpha.

He is protective and strong, plus conquerors Haki is very similar to pheromones. He would do anything for his crew and he wants them safe.

He wouldn't be appealed to have an Omega, it wouldn't be on his agenda and he'd handle a rut very privately.

He would fight his way to the top fairly and wouldn't discriminate against betas and omegas.

I'm also down to hear anyone's different opinions on any of these.

Zoro;

I can see him in many different ways, I can see him as an Alpha but I can see Omega with insecurities about it, but my most confident answer is Beta.

The reason why is because his undying loyalty to Luffy. He would fulfill the role as a Beta quite well. He would be able to avoid the hormones of others and be quite unbothered by all of it. He would work slightly harder to be the greatest swordsman especially if Mihawk is an Alpha. He wouldn't of presented before his best friend died but if she began showing signs of an Alpha, he would probably feel the extra competitive edge to be better.

He wouldn't care if someone is an Alpha or Omega, why should that shit matter to him.

And he wouldn't really care about what his partner was.

If he was an Omega, he would use suppressants and be damned if anyone knew. He would probably beat himself up over it and would build a high tolerance to pheromones. He would NEVER let someone help through a heat unless a long term relationship. And he would never be caught in an Mpreg situation.

And if he was an Alpha, he would accept Luffy as overall Alpha. He wouldn't feel like fighting it and he has the serious demeanor. He would protect any omegas but refuse to participate in a heat. He would fight himself a shit ton and never let his guard down.

Usopp;

Beta man, there's no way he'd be an Alpha. I mean he would always feel sad about it most likely, wanting to be brave and strong. He would probably have some lingering thoughts about the system, he wouldn't see Omegas as less than but he would probably assume that Omegas and Alphas are meant together and he has to find a Beta.

Until his crush on Kaya, the caring Omega. He would fight himself internally over it but she wouldn't care if he was a Beta. She probably was told she had to find a nice Alpha but that wouldn't affect her, she really cares about Usopp. She even goes to medical school to fix him up.

He would be disturbed by Ruts and Heats, he would get flustered and stay away from whoever was having one at the time.

Sanji;

Just like Zoro I can see any of them,

But I'm leaning Beta/Omega. No offense if you are like 😡 I want an Alpha Sanji don't disrespect my man's like that

Reason why I can see Omega, he is quite loving and I think he'd make a great dad. He loves ladies so much and being an Omega wouldn't stop him. I mean hey, look how much he likes fiesty women. He definitely wouldn't be against a female alpha, as long as he doesn't know about the extra appendage during a rut.

His family storyline would play into this, his dad would've been pissed if all Sanjis siblings are an Alpha but Sanji was a "weak" omega son. He would definitely be an angry and powerful Omega, training his tolerance to pheromones. And oh my god he'd be so angry if Zoro is a Beta/Alpha.

He would avoid Alpha men, I don't see him ever wanting to date one. I think he may be a little fruity but it's so internalized he would never be okay dating any male. He would probably hope for any female, but preferring an Omega/Beta.

If Sanji is a Beta, he'd be right up there with being a supporter of Luffy. He would definitely offer to help Omegas through a heat (and promptly get turned down) . He would be frustrated anytime an Alpha was in a rut and avoid being near them at all costs. It would piss him off especially if they wanted one of the crew.

His preferences would stay the same as if he were an omega.

And as an Alpha, oh my this man would be the most respectful ever. He would be damned before he let himself with an Omega without consent said before the heat was even close. He would protect his Omega at all costs. And he would let them bite his neck back. And he would defend any omegas in a vulnerable position. He definitely has a savior complex about it though. But he definitely would believe he could only have an Omega.

Brook;

He is a skeleton, this wouldn't even affect him.

As a human tho, I could see an Omega with his love of the arts and his love for Laboon and his crew. But I don't have much of detailed one for him. Beta, possibly but that's the easiest to presume someone as.

Chopper;

He is a damn reindeer. I just wanted to include my besties name but yeah he is a reindeer no way in hell would this affect him and he'd just make suppressants for everyone. Even with the human human fruit, that wouldn't add abo to his form.

Franky;

Now there's a chance that now as a cyborg this doesn't affect him. But pre cyborg or if it did, I see him as an Omega.

This man cries his heart out (which I love dearly about him) and he is such a big bro/dad figure.

He wouldn't care what anyone was but as a kid he may have had some trouble with the concept until Tom taught him better. Esp with Ice for Brains, who I could see as an Alpha/Beta so Franky may have felt less than.

Robin;

Alpha or Beta, but she isn't an Omega.

She holds herself up with an air of stoic and dark humor/themes. She would be quite a helpful Beta and she'd protect any Omega friends. She would feel very strongly about Omegas being seen as the same as everyone else. And she would feel very insecure if she was made to submit to anyone unwillingly.

I can see Alpha tho, (esp Frobin <3), she lets Franky let his tears out and she is such a good friend. She would struggle to let her feelings out which would make her line in Enies lobby even more important. She would be experienced and she would probably offer to help an omega she was very close to but she wouldn't settle down unless you are Franky or a very solid partner to her. She wouldn't care if you were another Alpha or Beta though, she'd love you for you.

Jinbe/Jimbei;

Now I don't know if Fish people/men would even be affected but if they were.. he would be...

Alpha, but in a very nonchalant way. He was a warlord, and not just anyone would get that. He wouldn't ever make someone submit and he would fight for rights for everyone esp Omegas in his community. If he did settle down, it wouldn't matter to him. Just as long as he can share his feelings in a safe place.

But beta would work as well, he is quite devoted to his crews and is a loyal person in general and shows alot of care to Luffy during the timeskip.

I also haven't finished Fish man Island yet so I have little to work with.

Nami;

I did save her for last, this is probably the most biased one. I mean as you guys will learn, she's my girlfriend/wife, so I may see her slightly different than someone else would.

Now I feel like as many of the others, she can fit in all three. I mean everyone is going to show traits to each kind which is why I try to explain myself for each.

Alpha, i can see this. She's very fiesty and she sure as hell wouldn't want to submit to anyone. She would be a little embarrassed during a Rut and she would use suppressants. She would be fine with not being top dog but she definitely wants her respect, she's the entire reason they get anywhere.

She isn't looking for romance but she'd be fine with anyone as long as they were worth it. I think an Alpha male would be her least likely pair though, that person would have to be quite honorable and prove themselves to her as good enough.

If she's an Omega, she would be quite angry about it. She wouldn't want to be perceived as weak and sure as hell would use suppressants and she'd be damned if an alpha helped her through a heat. The only way she would, would be after a super solid relationship where there's extreme trust. She would slap the crap out of Sanji if he tried anything or suggested anything, she wouldn't have any patience especially after she had to deal with the bullshit she heard her entire time with Arlong and other crews stealing treasure.

If she was a beta, she'd probably go after another Beta. Keep thing simple. She would eyeroll at any alphas and she would be over the whole alpha/omega bullshit.

[pxedpiper]

Horizon (21)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

Previous / Masterlist / Next

A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao

It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.

“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”

“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”

“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”

“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”

You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”

“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.

“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”

“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”

“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”

“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”

“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”

“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”

“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”

“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”

“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”

“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.

Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”

You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”

“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”

“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”

“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”

“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”

“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”

“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”

“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”

“Yes?” You turned to face him again.

He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”

“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”

~

Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”

“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”

“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”

“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.

Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”

“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”

Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”

“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”

“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.

Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.

“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”

“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”

“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.

You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”

“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.

Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.

~

Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.

Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”

Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”

“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”

“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”

“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”

“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.

Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”

“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.

“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”

“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”

“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”

“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”

Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.

“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”

“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.

“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.

“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”

“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”

Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”

“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.

“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”

~

You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.

“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.

“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”

“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.

“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”

“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”

“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”

“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”

“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”

“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.

“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.

“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”

“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”

You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”

“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”

“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”

“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”

~

The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.

“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”

“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.

Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”

“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”

“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”

“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”

“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.

“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.

“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”

“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.

“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”

“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”

“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”

“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.

“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.

Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”

“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”

“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.

“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.

“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.

“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”

“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.

“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”

“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”

“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”

“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.

“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”

“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”

“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”

You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”

“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”

~

“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”

“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”

“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”

Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.

There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.

You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”

“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.

“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.

“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.

“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.

“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”

“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.

Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”

“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”

“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.

“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.

“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”

“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.

Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”

“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”

“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”

“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.

“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”

“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”

“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”

He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”

You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.

“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”

“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”

“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.

“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.

The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…

~

Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.

“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.

“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”

“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.

Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”

“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”

“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.

“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.

“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”

“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”

“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”

“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”

“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.

~

Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.

“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”

“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.

“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”

Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.

Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”

Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”

“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”

“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.

“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”

~

Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.

“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.

“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”

“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”

“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.

“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”

“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.

You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”

He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”

“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”

“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”

~

It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.

“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.

You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”

He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”

“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.

Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”

“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”

“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”

“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.

“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.

It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”

“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”

“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”

“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.

“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.

Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.

Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.

What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.

[griavian]

the 36 questions that lead to love

x <- read on ao3

dream finds a list of questions that can supposedly lead to two people falling in love, so him and george try it out on stream. turns out, they don't really need all 36.

“Come on, George. It’s just a couple of questions.” Dream pleaded into the call, making George roll his eyes. He’s been trying to end stream for the past 15 minutes, but Dream always convinces him to go “just a little longer!”.

“36 questions is not just a couple of questions, Dream.” George glances at his second monitor to make sure his green screen was still black and to check a few discord messages. He had no intention to fall into Dream’s trap for another hour of streaming.

“But it says it’ll lead to love!” Dream says, exasperated. He googled ‘questions to ask your friend’ earlier and found a list of them that apparently lead to falling in love. To George, it was bullshit.

“That’s such bullshit.” He expresses.

“You’re no fun.” Dream’s voice lowered, and George can feel the pout Dream has plastered on his face. He can already predict what the next 12 hours would be like with Dream: silent treatment and being a general dickhead. George was used to it when they lived an ocean apart, and even found it amusing, but it was a totally different experience living with him. Dream would mope around, go into George’s room randomly just to not talk to him, and go as far as to blast sad music from his own room across the hall while George was trying to finish up some editing. Sure, it was all light-hearted jokes, and Dream would stop his act in a heartbeat if George was truly annoyed by it, but George still dreaded it.

“Fine.”

Dream immediately cheers up and starts typing on his keyboard while George watches his chat fly by, seeing a lot of emotes and positive messages.

“Okay, um- first question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom,” Dream mocks the formality, “would you want as a dinner guest?”

George’s nose crinkles. “How is that gonna make me fall in love with you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I don’t know! The queen?”

“That’s a stupid answer.”

“What!” George screeches and Dream barks out a laugh. “You’re so dumb.”

“You gotta give me a better answer than that, or else we won’t fall in love with each other.”

George rolls his eyes, but decides to think about his answer. Truthfully, he wouldn’t want anyone special as a dinner guest. “Um. My mum.”

George eyes his chat as it’s filled with “aw”s. He almost scoffs.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” George wants to punt Dream into another universe.

“Alright, who would you want as a guest?”

“Tom Brady.”

“That’s the stupidest answer ever!” George yells, his eyes wide, perhaps offended that Dream picked Tom Brady out of anyone else in the world.

“Question two!” Dream ignores, “This one is kinda dumb, but would you like to be famous and if you do, what for?”

George hums. “Probably don’t want to be famous-famous. Maybe being well-known for being the first person to invent IRL-VR. I want my body to be submerged in the Minecraft universe.”

“That’s sick. I dunno what I’d want-”

“You’re already famous.”

“Shut up. I don’t even- I don’t even want to be famous, really. I just want to make whoever knows me smile.”

“Aww, isn’t that sweet, Dream.” George teases and he knows Dream waved him off. George has his habits practically memorized.

“Whatever. How about you ask some questions?” Dream sends a link on discord and George reads through them.

“There’s no way these can make people fall in love. What even is this question? Before making a telephone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say and why?”

“Trust the process. I mean, I do that. I don’t want my brain all jumbled up, I guess. Words are hard.” Dream answers.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I wing it.”

“That’s very you. Next question.” Something about Dream saying that made George smile the tiniest bit, made the serotonin flow through his brain.

“What’s a ‘perfect day’ for you?” George reads. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Hanging out with you,” his voice is sincere, “You and Sapnap. Recording, streaming, anything like that. What about you?”

“Hm. Me too.”

George isn’t one to show his feelings often. He remembers being asked if he did, and he answered with “not ones that matter”. It still rings true to this day. His walls are still built up and that’s okay to George. Mushy feelings aren’t important, but he’d be damned if he didn’t say his heartstrings were playing a beautiful melody during this moment.

The questions and answers fall easily after that. George knows it’s around 1 am, and he should go to sleep, but answering the questions was kind of addicting.

“Do you have a hunch on how you’ll die?” Dream reads the question with a chuckle. “That’s such a weird question to ask someone you wanna fall in love with.”

George tries not to read in between the lines.

“Heart failure. For both of us.”

“You know how I’ll die?”

“We’re Minecraft streamers, Dream. We’ll probably die at 40.” They share jokes and giggles of scenarios where they die and what they’d do, and something about it feels a bit too honest.

“I’ll die the day you die, George. Emotionally and physically.” Dream says, dramatic as ever. George only huffs, and they leave it there.

“Name three things you and your partner have in common. Dream, do you have a secret girlfriend?” They start to bicker back and forth, because of course they do.

“It doesn’t mean romantic partner, you dumbass. Like- it’s like a science partner,” Dream sighs, “Well, we do have a lot in common. We have the same job, we care about the same things, and we love each other! Easy.” Dream answers.

“Who said I loved you?”

“You literally did last night.” George had closed chat a while ago, already prepared for what was to come. He can only imagine what they’re saying.

“They’ll never believe you.” George says with a sadistic grin.

“Ugh. Okay, what are you grateful for in life? You have to answer this.” George can hear Dream get a little closer to his mic, almost anticipating George’s answer. Dream knows how much he doesn’t like to express any feelings, and probably expects him to skip the question overall. George prevails.

“You. Obviously,” and before Dream can get out an aww, George says, “You made my career, dummy, and I’m grateful for that. And my friends, family, all the normal things. Chat! I’m even grateful for chat.”

“Well, I’m incredibly grateful for you especially.” Dream’s voice is soft, almost loving. George rolls his eyes. He could’ve guessed Dream’s answer, but it weirdly hurts him when it was spoken aloud. He doesn’t know whether it hurts because it might be a fun little joke or if it’s because someone might care about him that much. George decides to stop thinking.

They answer more questions, from taking four minutes to tell each other their life stories (“There was no reason to add that detail; you’re so gross, Dream.”) to what significant quality they would want to wake up and suddenly have (“You’re already good at code shit, George. That’s the saddest answer ever.”). They move onto section two of the list, which are deeper questions.

“Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t yet, and why haven’t you?” George asks. He knows about Dream’s unfinished projects. There’s probably a million answers to the question, and George would listen to every single one.

“Uh, well. You know I was writing a book, yeah? I was halfway done with it, and I can’t make myself finish it. It’s probably writer’s block, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it.” George frowned.

“You can’t finish it with that attitude, silly. You’re annoyingly amazing at everything.” George says with a snort, “I don’t have an answer to this. What did you say that one time? Your future is my future? Well, your dreams are my dreams, then.”

George cringes a little at what he said. He doesn’t know his viewer count, but knows that at least a million people will watch that clip out of context. Dream doesn’t say anything back and moves on to the next question.

“What is your most treasured memory?” Dream asks, and George immediately laughs.

“I definitely know your’s.”

“Do tell, George.”

“Our first Christmas together. Sapnap insisted on getting a real Christmas tree, and when we started decorating the stupid thing, Sapnap sees a spider and screeches. Then, our neighbors come knocking on the front door and you had to explain to them that nobody was being murdered, it was just your roommate being a big baby. And as if it could get any worse, I got tree-sap all on my fingers and clothes and you couldn’t help me because you were laughing too hard.”

“Pretty sure I almost choked on my own spit.” Dream adds, and George scoffs. “But no, that’s not my treasured memory.”

George sputters. “What? You’re telling me I told that to thousands of people for nothing?”

“To be fair, you were all soft on Christmas morning, so our first Christmas might be your treasured memory. Anyways, remember the first time you helped me with a code?” George stays silent, giving Dream the answer. “Well, that was the first time we had a real conversation. I made you laugh, then I started to laugh because you laughed, and we didn’t get the code done. It sounds dumb, but I always smile whenever I think about it.”

George’s face falters a bit. God, he just wants to hug Dream; he wants to make a beeline for his room and attack him with affection and make sure he knows that George loves him, platonically or romantically, George wants him to know.

He just can’t express it with words.

“That… sweet.” George’s eyes travel down the following questions and panics, seeing how personal the questions are. He fakes a yawn. “As mushy and stupid this thing is, I’m really tired.”

Dream doesn’t say anything. It almost scares George, but he deafens on Discord and bids farewell to his viewers, who were completely freaking out. George doesn’t blame them. He’s abruptly leaving after a sweet moment? That’s a recipe for disaster, and George knows better. Yet, he clicks the end stream button.

The door to his office swings open instantly and startles George. It was Sapnap, someone he didn’t particularly want to see.

“What the fuck was that?” His roommate whisper-yells.

George groans and slides deeper into his chair, covering his face. “I don’t know,” he muffles.

“Are you even trying to hide your feelings at this point?” He can hear Sapnap close the door and flop on his office’s couch. “You might as well buy a billboard that says ‘I’m in love with my best friend! His name is Clay!’ with a big ass picture of your dumb face beside it.”

“I know,” George whines. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about knowing. I’ve told you a million goddamn times that he’s too whipped to notice. I’m worried about the fans. They’re gonna go fucking bonkers because of this stream. Clips are gonna be shared. People are gonna speculate.”

George uncovers his face and narrows his eyes at his friend. “Thanks for the reassurance,” he deadpans.

Sapnap rolls his eyes. “I’m being serious, dude. I know you’re very deeply in love with him in the gayest of ways, but you gotta be careful in front of the fans.”

“Oh my God. I know, Sapnap! I know. I forgot we were even streaming. It felt like it was just the two of us, and I got too comfortable. And it was so nice. I can’t even do anything about it now, so it doesn’t even matter.”

Sapnap sighs and pulls himself from the couch. “You need to talk to him before this gets out of hand. You know I love ya, and that I’m here for you.” George cringes out of habit, but nods. It reads as ‘I love you too, I guess’.

Sapnap leaves without another word, and George is left alone with his thoughts. It’s not long before he sluggishly makes his way back to his bedroom. He opens the closed door, enters, and shuts it. He turns around, only to be greeted by a familiar person in his bed, and yelps.

Dream laughs. He’s wearing blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt. His hair looks messed with, and his cheeks seem to have more color to them. George can’t help but stare.

“Well? Aren’t we gonna finish it?”

George cocks an eyebrow.

“Finish what?”

“The questions, dummy. You don’t… you don’t have to. I mean, it’s kinda stupid that I want to do it in the first place, but…” Dream trails off. George hops on his bed and grins lightly.

“Go for it.”

They answer questions they skipped, like what is your most terrible memory (“My, uh, grandma. She died when I was about 14. It was… hard on me.” “Oh, George…”).

The overhead light was off at this point, the only light coming from a lamp on his desk and the stars shining through the window. The two are on their sides, Dream on the right of the bed and George on the left, facing each other, occasionally looking at their phones to ask the questions.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Dream asks, his voice softer than ever. George can almost not answer. He doesn’t know.

“I’ve never been a super affectionate person, so I don’t know. I’ll give you guys quick hugs of course, but with really close relationships, I don’t know what to do.”

Dream looks as if he’s searching for something in George’s face, and George can’t tell what he’s looking for. His movements are hesitant, George sees.

“Do- um. You wanna maybe,” Dream pauses, closes his eyes,and scrunches up his face. “Try?”

“Try what?”

“Affection.” Dream lets out a breath and opens his eyes. “Affection is my strong suit, afterall.” His mouth forms into a teasing smirk despite his eyes showing nervousness.

“Um. Take the lead.”

It’s slow. So, very slow. Dream’s hand raises up and lands itself on the dip of George’s waist. He’s whispering instructions, and George listens. His hands are hung around Dream’s neck, and their legs are starting to tangle together. They laugh when they realize how far apart they are, and Dream pulls him closer. George can feel his heart beating out of his chest as he lays his head where Dream’s right shoulder meets his neck.

“Do you want me to ask the rest of the questions, sweetheart?” It sounded like a coo, and George is surprised at how effortless the pet name comes out of Dream’s mouth.

“Was that okay?” Dream whispers after a moment of George going still. He perks up.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Okay.” Dream pulls George closer and rests his left hand on his back. He starts rubbing up and down in slow motions.

George simply melts.

The questions and answers go by slower, and their voices become gentler. Dream announces that they’re on section three now, and to state three true “we” statements. Dream goes first.

“We… are cuddling?”

“Obviously, idiot.” George chuckles. “We are really tired?” Dream hums.

“We meant everything we’ve said tonight.”

“We are going to mean everything we say tonight.”

“You can’t just steal my answer.”

“Just do your third one.”

“We will be ‘Dream and George’ forever.”

Forever is a long, long time. And yet, Dream’s statement is still true.

“We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Very vague.”

“Next question, Dream.”

“Alright, alright. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone whom I could share…’”

Without a second thought, George replies, “My emotions with. Your turn.”

George swears he felt Dream squeeze him.

“My everything with. Every single little thing. Physical, metaphorical, emotional.”

“Even Patches?”

A laugh.

“Yes. Even Patches.”

“Next question.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them and be very honest.”

“Your voice. It’s like… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Does it get you going, George?”

“Shut up. I definitely don’t like your smart-assery.” George can feel Dream lean down into George’s shoulder and smile. “I like how you act around people. It’s always different depending on the person. Different with me.”

“I like how you act around people too. You’re almost always bubbly, even though you like to say you aren’t. And, God, your laugh. It’s so overwhelming, but in the best way possible. You have no idea how many times I’ve said the stupidest shit just to hear your little laugh.” George digs his head deeper into Dream’s shoulder. “I also… really like it when you say my name. My real name.”

George raises slightly, gaining the tiniest bit of confidence. “Clay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Clay,” George whispers.

“George.” Dream sounds weak. So, very weak. George gets closer to his ear.

“Clay.”

George can’t tell if he’s joking.

“You’re gonna kill me, George.”

George’s lips brush against the outer of Dream’s ear, and his friend shivers. He decides this isn’t a joke anymore. He thinks the invisible line they had drawn in the sand many years ago has been kicked and stomped on to the point where neither of them remembers the line being there. George goes further.

“Clay, Clay, Clay,” George is still whispering, slowly brushing his lips across Dream’s jaw, and the hands around his waist get the littlest bit tighter.

George finally raises his head to meet Dream, who was a mess. His cheeks are glowing and his eyes are almost bloodshot. His breath is labored and his hands are shaky.

“Calm down, love.” George whispers and raises his right hand to meet Dream’s cheek, who leans into the touch.

“Kiss me.” Dream begs quietly, as if saying anything louder would shatter the moment in little pieces.

An adrenaline rush fills George’s veins. “Anything you want,” he says, and closes the gap.

The kiss is soft. Dream is maneuvering their bodies to be more comfortable, meaning George is pulled on top of Dream. Their lips didn’t part once.

They move together in harmony, both in the kiss and their bodies, putting everything they got into it. It was unsaid feelings and years and years of thoughts, and George felt every single one of them. George is straddling Dream’s middle and Dream is leaning up to meet George’s touch. His hands are rubbing up and down and squeezing George’s hips and George’s hands find their way into Dream’s hair. It’s perfect and imperfect and everything George has been waiting for, yearning for.

They part, and Dream pushes their foreheads together. George assumes they look dumb, but how could he care in this moment?

“Beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Dream says, his breath tickling George’s mouth. He lets out a breath and breaks out into a smile. His hands start brushing through Dream’s hair and George backs away to get a good look. Dream is staring back.

George lunges forward and wraps his arms around Dream’s neck, sending him flat on the bed with an “oof”.

“Jesus Christ, George. A warning would be nice.”

“I love you. I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-” George couldn’t get enough of saying it. George’s dam cracked when Dream held him and fucking exploded when they kissed. He doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he doesn’t.

“Slow down, baby.” Dream says through a chuckle. He makes George lean up with tans hands on pale cheeks and a lot of eye contact. “I love you, too.”

George’s breathing slows down to a normal, less-adrenaline-filled pace, and Dream kisses him again. George forces his head back up.

“What does this mean for us?”

“Isn’t it a little obvious?”

“Not really.”

“Boyfriends, George. We’re dating now.”

“How do you know I wanted to even be your boyfriend.” George narrows his eyebrows in faux-suspicion.

Dream’s stare is blank. “I mean. You’re- well- you know, um-”

George dismisses this shortly and confirms, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Dream sighs in relief. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” George slides off Dream’s waist and lays facing him. Dream turns as well. “Was that question the last question?”

“No, actually. There were a few left.” Dream blinks, then muses, “Guess we didn’t need 36 questions after all.”

“That was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said and I hate you for it.”

“You wound me, George. You wound me.”

George makes up for it by letting himself be engulfed in Dream’s embrace, and feels tiny kisses on the top of his head. George nuzzles closer.

Yeah, everything was going to be fine.

[regina-dei-fiori]

✦─chapter: 1/? ( ↣ )

✦─wordcount: 1.2k+

✦─genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff, friends to lovers, college/human au

✦─fandom: moominvalley

✦─pairing: snufmin (snufkin x moomin)

✦─summary: as the night, cold air hits my face, i come here because i want to understand. understand you of all people. you've been so good to me, and i feel as if i've been unfair to you. will you help me sort things out?

or: when moomin and snufkin have their first big fight, they find themselves discovering new things about each other.

✦─loosely inspired by the song two slow dancers, by the one and only mitski

✦─read and support on ao3 💕

a/n: waaah, here we are finally. it is i, secret anon who asked @hanekdrawsmoomins​ if they could write fanfics about their au muahahaha. im quite excited for this, since this is my first time writing like, actual serious fanfics lol. but yeah,,, this one’s going to be a lil too much on the angsty side since ive been on my feels, but i sure do hope you guys enjoy lmao.

HOWEVER, happy ending is promised, so don’t worry about that dsjhgjgdskg

also, if anyone would a tag list to be created, plz tell me in the comments!

finally, i would just like to thank the amazing @iemondropsss​ for being my beta reader!! i really appreciate it <33

so, with nothing left to say, let’s get right into it >:))

-He's outside, Moomin,- a voice says from behind. -In the hallway.

I turn my head around quickly, alert from the sudden new sound. I relax when I realize it was just Snorkamiden. I make out her face in the middle of the club-like flashing lights. I'm sitting in a chair, decorated with pink and red paper strips. The music is so loud in the gymnasium, I could barely catch what she was saying.

The worried look she's wearing says more than a thousand words. I know who she's talking about, but I choose to appear that I don't.

-Who's outside?- I say as nonchalantly as possible, as I turn my head back to the table and start playing with the plastic cup in front of me. Snorkmaiden sees through my act tho. She always does.

She huffs, changing her expression to one that is not at all amused. 

-Stop acting stupid. You know exactly who I'm talking about.

I take the cup and slurp the near nonexistent juice. Why is he even here? Didn't he say that he never wanted to see me again? Is he just playing around? Should I go see him?

Fuck, I really want to see him again--

No. Control yourself, Moomin. You're mad at him, remember?  

I stay there, thinking for a while. I feel Mai and Sniff's eyes on me. Sniff is sitting at the same table as me. I know he's worried about me. He's been more nervous than usual, giving shaky looks to Mai from across the dancefloor before we sit down together, trying to find an answer as to what was going on.

-You can't stay like this forever, Moomin. You two will have to talk things out at some point...

-But does it have to be right now?- I turn back to see her again, my eyes pleading with the false hope of putting the confrontation off longer. Snorkmaiden doesn’t seem to change her mind.

We have a quick staring contest before she speaks again.

-He literally came running from his house, you insufferable idiot. Doesn't that mean something to you?

I almost knock my chair over from standing up too fast, and I really hope no one noticed. I don’t need more embarrassing attention than I already have.

-What? How do you even know that?

-It's easy to tell, he's panting like crazy.

I lean against the table’s edge as I try to make sense of what he has done. 

What does he think he’s doing? Has he gone out of his mind? Why would he do something so stupid? Go run from his house to here, in this goddamn weather? Is he serious? And what for? Did he...?

I stay paralized at the mere thought of it. No, it can't be. He didn't just…

-Well, maybe... maybe he forgot something in his locker-, I say in a desperate attempt to regain my cool. An attempt that, of course, goes in vain.

-Moomin, we both know he doesn't care about school work, or at least not to that degree. What could he possibly forget at school that would be so important for him to come running like that in the middle of a freezing night?

Her stare wears me down. I don't wanna say it, I don't even want to think about it. I wouldn't like to get my hopes up for nothing. I wouldn't like to get hurt…

But then again, why would he come?

I look down at the floor, meditating for a second. If I go out there, it will be inevitable for us to talk again. I'll have no choice but to listen to what he has to say.

And for some reason, that scares me to death.

Because…

What happens if he actually meant what he said? What if he actually doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I don't think I would be able to handle that. 

I sigh heavily. My head is spinning like crazy. He's outside right now. He's right there. And you, sir, need answers, don't you? Once you do this, you'll be able to sleep more peacefully tonight (hopefully). 

It really can't be that bad, right? If things go south, we'll just... Well, we'll just stop talking to each other and that’ll be that…

I shake that thought out as fast as it comes. If I think too much I won't be able to get anything done.

I turn my head back up, to see Snorkmaiden anticipating a final decision from me. I catch my breath one last time. Here goes nothing, I guess.

-Where is he, exactly?

I can see her body relax after those words come out. I can even swear I see a small smile tease her face.

-Next to the janitor's room, around the corner.

I adjust my tuxedo, and Mai finally breaks from her static position, placing her hand on my shoulder.

-Good luck.

I nod curtly as my answer and start walking towards the gymnasium's exit, fighting the urge to look back. I hope Mai can take the work of explaining to Sniff what the hell is going on. I feel bad for not being able to tell him myself, but sometimes even I don't know how to decipher these situations myself.

I hear one of the boys of the basketball team call after me before going through the door, but I already nod to the teachers outside in the hallways that I’m just passing through. I quickly explain I'm going to the restroom, and I hope to God the coach doesn't notice that I'm sweating quite a bit. 

I don't even know what I'm going to say once I get to him. We haven't talked in a couple of days now. He's good at avoiding people when he sets his mind to it. Who’s even supposed to start the conversation? That is implying he actually did come all this way just to talk to me. Damn, what if we're all wrong and he really just came to pick something up? Ah, this shouldn't be so complicated-

My thoughts stop once I turn around the corner. I stop on my tracks once I hear faint sobs. There appears to be no one at first glance, but then I notice a lump on the floor, right next to the door of the janitor's. 

I don't really know how to proceed. But before I can do anything, he notices me. He's wearing his green hoodie's cap tightly over his head when he raises his face. He watches me for a couple more seconds before slowly taking it off, revealing something that oh so breaks my heart. 

His eyes are red and swollen, and I realize that this is the first time I’ve ever seen him crying. His eyes are also sporting deep dark circles underneath them, and it looks like he hasn't taken off the hoodie in a while.

He just looks... So weak. So defeated. So hopeless. All I want to do now is go and push his hair away from his eyes and wipe his tears away. I want to hold him and tell him I promise everything will be okay. I have to remind myself that we have to talk first before anyone can be assured that they are loved.

-Moomin...- is all he can say the moment he notices it's me. He looks like he's about to burst into tears again.

Snufkin.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 287: Family Reunion

Previously on BnHA: The Tomura For One VS Deku And Pals clusterfuck reached new levels of clustfuckery as AFO possessed Tomura’s body and stabbed Kacchan and Endeavor. Shouto was all “good thing I leveled up offscreen so as to be able to fly around whilst carrying 400lbs worth of people”, and did just that and it was like, damn, son. Meanwhile Deku’s rage went Mach 100, and he kicked Tomura’s ass for almost two whole seconds, but in the process he apparently forgot that IF TOMURA TOUCHES HIM THAT IS VERY BAD, and so he stupidly let Tomura touch him and Tomura was all “GAME, SET.” Fortunately for Deku, his quirk plays by its own rules, and so the chapter ended with us cutting to the METAPHYSICAL OFA/AFO PARANORMAL DREAMSCAPE OF MYSTICAL BULLSHIT, where AFO!Vestige was all “lol Tomura y u mad”, and Nana!Vestige was all “SUP DEKU, YOU’RE JUST IN TIME, LOOKS LIKE IT’S ASSKICKING O’CLOCK.” I’m paraphrasing a bit, but that’s more or less the gist of it.

Today on BnHA: AFO is all “well if it isn’t Tomura’s grandmother who I murdered that one time”, and Deku is all “?”, and AFO is all “fucking vestiges, man, wild”, and Deku is all “??”, and AFO is all “ANYWAYS GETTIM TOMURA”, and OFA is all “NOT SO FAST”, and Deku is all “???”, and really, same. AFO then goes off on some wild tangent about how Deku is unworthy because he couldn’t protect everyone and needed help from OFA and got mad about his friends being stabbed, which is such a cold take it gave me hypothermia, but it ends up not mattering since Deku and Tomura both wake up seconds later with OFA still in the possession of its rightful owner, HOW ABOUT THAT. The chapter ends with the LoV approaching on Gigantomachia’s back with Dabi practically salivating at the mouth, and Toga trying to reignite an old fandom blood feud. Toga why would you do this to me. Toga.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[CROWD LOSING THEIR MINDS] FINALLY THE NANA HAS COME BACK TO BNHA!! IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE NANA IS COOKIN!!!!! [RINGSIDE BELL CHIMING WILDLY] [LOUD AIRHORN NOISES]

“chapter 287: mistake” omg. yeah I’ll say you made a mistake, AFO. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE FLEETING LAST MOMENTS OF YOUR SHITTY EVIL LIFE

(ETA: so in all seriousness this must be referring to AFO’s belief that All Might/OFA made a mistake in choosing Deku, right? “I can’t believe you went and chose this shounen manga protagonist as your champion, what were you thinking.” I’ll just put this out there: however many comic books AFO read as a child, it clearly was not enough.)

wow Deku how slow are you

yes you’re inside OFA you dimbulb, did you think your clothes suddenly vanished out of the blue and the ghost of Nana just randomly appeared in the real world by some freak coincidence?? can you believe this kid. breaks his arms a measly 10-15 times in a row and all of a sudden he can’t think straight, get it together Deku

but also brb having a moment at the fact that his thoughts immediately run back to Kacchan, even with all of this nonsense going on and Nana about to lay the beatdown on AFO’s potato-lookin’ ass. forget that noise, all he wants to know is whether or not Kacchan is all right. fuckin’ geez. AM I OVERREACTING HERE A BIT. probably

(ETA: ALSO!! the way he just trails off!! “Kacchan is...” and then he can’t bring himself to complete the thought. oh my god my heart.)

HOLY SHIT

okay,

damn but this man sure knows how to ruffle my feathers. as eminently detestable as ever!!

could it be any clearer here that AFO is not on Tomura’s side?? for a moment I thought he had actually grabbed him by the back of the head in order to get him to look. but nope, he’s just resting his pointing hand on top of his head instead while he’s all “HEY TOMURA LOL IT’S THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD PATHETIC GRANDMA”

for those keeping track at home, this would be the first time that Deku has heard this information -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandson -- and possibly the first time Vestige!Nana has heard it as well. Nana died when Kotarou was still a child, so for all we know the Vestige!Nana didn’t even know she had a grandson, lol. TODAY ON “MAKESTE RANTS AT LENGTH ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE ADDRESSED WITHIN THE NEXT THREE PANELS”, anyway moving on

lmao for the record I fucking LOLed at this giant question mark immediately bubbling up over Deku’s head

no idea what AFO is about to ramble on about now, haven’t read that far yet. but let the record show that Deku’s immediate reaction to hearing “BTW NANA IS YOUR ARCHNEMESIS’S GRANDMA LULZ” is everything I could have hoped for

(ETA: fandom nailed the shit out of this one with the confused Mr. Krabs meme lmao.)

okay so now AFO is monologuing at length about how he would sometimes have “riveting dreams” about the previous owners of all the quirks he stole. but once he gave the quirks away they stopped bothering him?? holy moly let me just take all the notes

okay so he’s saying that Vestiges are created whenever someone has their quirk stolen by AFO. but if they then disappear when he gives the quirks away, does that also mean that whoever receives the quirks also gets the original owner’s Vestige bundled in every time?? that would be wild okay hold up let me read the rest of this

so he’s saying that the Vestiges are actually the “consciousnesses” of the original quirk owners, which have become embedded in their dna or something. SOUNDS INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS TO ME LOL but on the other hand this is a world where children can be born with airplane heads, so my disbelief can hardly afford to pick and choose what it’s gonna be suspended at! anyways though, how does he know he’s the only one who was able to converse with them? did you conduct detailed six-month follow-up interviews with everyone you gave quirks to or what

and if it really is the case that this ability was formerly exclusive to him, isn’t that more evidence than ever that OFA and AFO are actually THE EXACT SAME QUIRK oh whoops am I getting ahead of myself again, sorry

MEANWHILE TOMURA IS ALL, “GRANDMA?”

“WHY AM I HERE, WELL LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, GRANDSON. YOU SEE THAT MAN GROWING OUT OF YOUR RIBCAGE THERE? WELL IT’S JUST THE FUNNIEST THING, ACTUALLY”

WAIT SO IS HE SAYING THEY’RE SOULS OR NOT??

this makes it sound like they won’t ever get to rest, which sure sounds like a soul thing to me. well whatever, soul, consciousness, I guess it’s just semantics at the end of the day

anyways though, so this asshole is finally done talking (I’m sure that won’t last), so now we can finally have the heartwarming reunion we’ve all been waiting for

sigh

-- actually, no, not “sigh”!! you know what!! because Tomura says “whatever the reason”, but that’s only because he doesn’t actually have a fucking clue about the reason. like, I don’t know if the knowledge that AFO killed Nana would be enough to give him pause, but if he knew the whole story and knew that AFO was behind not only Nana’s death, but the rest of his family’s deaths as well... now that would be a whole different thing

anyway. but at least it’s becoming clearer now why AFO spent all that time raising Tomura up as his heir and brainwashing him even though he seems to have been planning this body takeover the whole time. it’s all because he loves making people miserable! yaaaaay

btw HAS NANA HAD THE EXACT SAME MOLE ON HER CHIN AS TOMURA THIS ENTIRE TIME WTF. am I just the least observant person who ever lived lmao

lol wtf

ground: [randomly starts exploding]

Deku: “ONE FOR ALL IS BEING ERODED!!!” LOL IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE, OKAY THEN. I’ll take your word for it

y’all I cannot fucking get over this “AFO growing out of Tomura’s hip socket like a fucked-up ventriloquist dummy” shit though

you do realize that absolutely no one can take you seriously right now, right?? it’s important to me that you know this

WHAT’S THIS NOW

seems like SOMEONE has had it up to here with a certain SOMEONE ELSE’S bullshit lmaooo bye Felicia

I SAID GOOD DAY!!

you guys why is he not dying!!

-- OH DAMN

love how Deku is just lying there like “YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, THIS MIGHT AS WELL HAPPEN.” poor Deku

(ETA: where in god’s name is OFA Prime standing. why are my thoughts fully consumed by this lmao.)

are Nana and OFA Prime even doing anything?? why are they sticking their arms out like that. wait hold up is this all a big metaphor for the back-and-forth going on between Tomura trying to steal OFA and OFA being all “actually no you can’t, please enter your password and click on all the boxes with bicycles in them to prove you’re a human first”?

OH SNAP OFA PRIME SAID NO THANKS

“SORRY BRO WE’VE ALREADY MADE OURSELVES AT HOME HERE”

I have only just noticed that metaphysical!Deku has the same scars as actual!Deku. and yet his arms are not currently broken! that doesn’t really seem consistent to me but whatever!! maybe he saved right before the boss battle, that would be smart of him

anyway, that’s great and all that OFA Prime is here helping out, but I really wanted to see Nana fight AFO in a one on one though so I’m a bit disappointed. also why is it only the two of them?? where are Banjou and the others. of all the times to be sleeping on the job

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, THIS MAN

WOULD YOU STOP. WOULD YOU JUST QUIT IT ALREADY

oh shit hold up

doesn’t this confirm that the reason he wanted to transfer his power to Tomura is because he believed it would make him strong enough to finally take OFA because of Quirk Singularity? jesus christ. and here he was so sure of himself. but it turns out he doesn’t actually know shit! you can’t just fucking take OFA like that ya dingdong that’s not how it works

(ETA: SO, A THOUGHT -- is there any sort of subtle hinting here in the way that he words this? “if your strength is combined with mine”, as opposed to “if my strength is combined with yours”? no idea if the admittedly-so-small-as-to-be-almost-inconsequential distinction between those two sentences exists in the original Japanese or not, but I find it very interesting that the English wording implies that he’s the one adding Tomura’s strength to his own, rather than vice versa.)

now he’s insulting Deku!!

excuse me sir WHO ASKED YOU anyway. and never mind that being consumed by an, AND I QUOTE, “unquenchable” rage is your protege’s whole THING, and that he also needed your help to avoid being burned to a crisp a short while ago. where do you get off I swear

(ETA: also just want to point out that in the panel before this one he says that he’s been “watching through Tomura”, which pretty much confirms that his consciousness or whatever is alive inside of him all the time. Tomura is definitely not getting rid of this guy any time soon.)

WOW

first he calls Kacchan useless, then he calls Deku a simpleton, and don’t even get me started with Nana. just, you guys. this man is just... a very, very rude man

NOW OFA IS ALL “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES HIM SUCH A GOOD PROTAGNIST YOU BUTTMUNCH” AND OMG PREACH

“DESPITE HIS COMMON SENSE” sdfkllk my man he already has one brother roasting him, take it easy guy

AHH WHAT

IS THIS BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

YEP

hahaha nice try Tomura

so Deku’s all “I didn’t lose my power! BUT” and I assume the “but” is the part where his arms are still broken and shit, and meanwhile Tomura’s body is almost healed up now finally

they’re both wiped out and now AFO is again petitioning Tomura to let him take over goddammit

“you won’t lose your mind” yep, he sure won’t! scout’s honor!! pinky swear!!

meanwhile Deku is getting fucking desperate flkjl;k my baby. and Machia is going to show up any second now too, probably. what else can fucking go wrong at this point

oh shit I shouldn’t have asked

get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuumble, probably

OH MY GOD

WELL AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. jesus

so as soon as he heard Endeavor was there he got all, “TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL”, is that right? WELL JOKE’S ON YOU TOUYA, YOUR DAD DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT CONSCIOUS AT THE MOMENT, SO THAT’S GOING TO DRAIN A LOT OF THE TENSION FROM THE SCENE WHEN YOU GO ALL REVERSE DARTH VADER ON HIM AND HE’S ALL “ZZZZZZZZ”

meanwhile Toga is having unsettlingly quiet angst

jesus christ Toga this is all we need right now

“WAS JIN-KUN NOT A PERSON” sdkfjlk Horikoshi I swear. please have mercy on this fandom. this is the debate that refuses to die!!

but seriously ffs, the issue isn’t that Jin deserved to die, it’s that the countless people whom Jin would have either directly or indirectly killed didn’t deserve to die either. people don’t only become people when you attach names and faces to them! we all loved Jin because we’d gotten to know him, but that doesn’t mean his life was inherently worth more than the lives of all the people he would have killed. sometimes there’s just no good answer

like, it’s just crazy to me that because the heroes are all “we want to protect everyone!” but then aren’t always able to do so because that’s literally impossible, whereas the villains are all “we don’t care about anyone other than the select few people that we actually like!”, the villains somehow wind up getting the better PR. it just so happens that it’s infinitely easier to be loyal to the interests of a few people as opposed to ALL THE PEOPLE. like, no shit, it’s easier to stick to your moral code when you barely have a moral code. and so the villains can kill thousands and no one bats an eye, but if a hero fails to save even one person they’re hypocritical moral failures. like what the hell

BUT ANYWAY, sorry to go off on a tangent there lol, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just preemptively trying to stave off more discourse about it lol but who am I even kidding

anyways lol, but of course they won’t kill you unless they have no choice, Toga. but when it comes to catch-22 situations, it’s a bit much to infer that the heroes don’t consider the villains people just because they opt for the choice that spares more innocent lives. I sure as hell don’t want my babies out here killing people, but to say that they can’t no matter what or else they’re no different from the villains is just...

anyway so the chapter has now just ENDED, just like that!! on a shot of Ochako’s face!

I SENSE ANOTHER THROWDOWN COMING. and it had better not be a total letdown like the last one! NANA BARELY DID ANYTHING HORIKOSHI, WHAT THE FUCK. I started out with such high hopes lol

but I will settle for Toga VS Ochako, and Deku VS Tomura: The Sequel: Shouto’s Revenge! SPEAKING OF HEROES WHO HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE lmao

[vibrant-leaf]

Therapy is Manly

Part one.

🧡 ~KiriBaku Fic~ ❤️

Summary and Important Note⚠️: Bakugou is more self-aware and Kirishima is a bit more insecure. Part one is kinda painful, not gonna lie, but part two is happy and will make up for it! Link to part two will be at the bottom.

Word Count: 4090

Warnings: Cursing, angst

Additional note: I have been working on this for a stupid amount of time and have come to the point where I just need to trust myself and post it LMAO. They're going to be a little ooc but that's okay because this is my take on if Bakugou was more self-aware and if Kirishima was more insecure. Part two will have a song linked at the end of it. I hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fucking useless!” As soon as it comes out of Bakugou’s mouth, he instantly regrets it. He wants to take it back. He wants to travel back in time to just five seconds ago so he can punch himself in the face before he’s able to say that again. But he said it. And the way Kirishima’s face falls makes his stomach drop down to his knees.

When Kirishima hears those words come out of his boyfriend’s mouth, it feels as if someone stabbed him in the chest. It’s crazy… how two words coming from the love of your life can hurt so much.

“Eijirou, no. No. I’m- I-“ Bakugou doesn’t say sorry. He just doesn’t. But the look on Kirishima’s face, the look of absolute pain and betrayal, rips it out of him because he knows he horrendously fucked up “I’m sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean it okay?” Bakugou knows about Kirishima’s previous struggles with his self-confidence, and he can’t help but feel like he just ripped the boy’s heart out of his chest and stomped on it with those two awful words.

Bakugou tries to grab his boyfriend’s hand, but Kirishima shakes his head and backs away before he can touch him. He’s gotten used to Bakugou’s anger, mostly. But sometimes, and more recently for some reason, his words have been hurting him. He’s tried his best to shake it off because he knows that Bakugou doesn’t really mean it and he loves him… right? But this. This gutted him. His self-deprecating thoughts are on the brink of exploding in his head. Useless. Kirishima is indeed useless, isn’t he?

“You’re not useless, Eijirou. Fuck. I don’t know why I said that. I’m fucking sorry, okay?” Bakugou is begging him. He’s not exactly begging for forgiveness because he knows he doesn’t deserve it, he’s begging for Kirishima to understand that those were empty words that he didn’t mean and that Kirishima is nowhere near useless. Alright, he might also be begging for a little forgiveness because he can’t help it, even though he truly understands he does not deserve an ounce of it.

Kirishima looks down at the floor, takes a shaky breath through his nose, turns around, and leaves Bakugou’s room.

Bakugou’s hands fly to his head. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!” What the fuck is wrong with him?! Why does he keep doing this to him?! He keeps snapping at him and Kirishima just takes it. That’s how it’s always been with them, even if it didn’t use to be this bad. Bakugou yells, throws insults and names, and gets away with it every single time. Sure, Kirishima will call him an idiot from time to time or ask for an apology when absolutely necessary, but he’s never said anything else about his rage. Maybe… maybe Bakugou has been taking advantage of that. Bakugou knows there won’t be any serious repercussions, so this lets him take his frustrations out on him. He doesn’t deserve that.

Kirishima gently closes his bedroom door behind him and stands still in the middle of his room. His chest still hurts, and tears quickly start to form in his eyes until his vision is completely distorted, which is fitting because his brain is also being distorted beyond belief. “Fucking useless… You’re not useless, Eijirou.” The words start to play on a loop in his head.

The tears finally cascade down his face as he mumbles to himself, “I’m not. It’s okay. I’m not useless. He said I’m not, so it’s okay. Just forgive him, he didn’t mean it.” After all the other times Bakugou has snapped at him, he’s learned to simply shake his head and force himself to not sweat it. However, he suddenly realizes… he’s been forcing himself to become numb to it. But it’s okay! He loves Bakugou, that’s just how he is, he usually doesn’t mean the insulting words that come out of his mouth, and Kirishima doesn’t want to lose him, so he needs to force himself to be okay.

Meanwhile, in the other room, Bakugou is trying to come to terms with the decision he knows he must make, for the sake of Kirishima’s wellbeing.

Later in the evening, when the class has gathered for dinner, they notice something off between Bakugou and Kirishima. They aren’t attached by the hip, they aren’t even making eye contact, Bakugou looks like he’s about to puke, and Kirishima just looks sad. Sero, Ashido, and Kaminari look at each other, all of them worried about their two beloved friends.

Ashido speaks up first. “You guys know what’s going on?” The boys shake their heads and Ashido’s shoulders, along with her spirits, fall. “I hope they’re alright…”

Kaminari suddenly remembers something. “Uh... did they sign the lease on that apartment they found like a couple of weeks ago?” Sure, they were only dating for almost a year now, after a long year of painful mutual pining, but they always looked so sure, so confident in each other and their relationship, that moving in together after graduation seemed like a no-brainer.

“I don’t know. They haven’t said anything else about it. But this is probably just a little fight. I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Sero tries reassuring his friends as well as himself.

It’s around one in the morning and neither of the boys can fall asleep. Kirishima just wants Bakugou to come into his room and hopefully apologize again, that way he can forgive him, and they can rest in each other’s arms and let everything be okay in the morning.

Bakugou is lying wide awake in his bed, and he’s scared. His heart is racing, and he still feels like he’s going to throw up the few bites of dinner that he managed to get down hours earlier. He’s so fucking scared, he doesn’t want to do this, but he knows he has to… Kirishima deserves better than how he’s been treating him- like a willing punching bag for his cruel, verbal outbursts. God, he is such an asshole. Has he really been like this the whole time they knew each other?

Kirishima finally hears the long-awaited knock on his door but doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t usually need to. “Hey… can we talk?” asks a deep, muffled voice behind his door. He’s a little confused by the fact his boyfriend doesn’t just walk in but whatever.

“Yeah?” Kirishima calls out.

Bakugou swiftly opens the door, walks in, and sees his best friend of almost three years now, sitting up in his bed looking at him wearingly. He can see it. He can see just how mentally drained Bakugou has made him, and it further proves his point that he’s doing this for that beautiful boy’s own good. That human incarnate of sunshine deserves to be happy. He deserves so much better than what Bakugou has given him. So, he swears to himself that he’ll get better. It’ll probably take some time but that doesn’t matter. Hopefully, they’ll be better off afterward… as long as Kirishima will graciously take him back in the future. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t though.

Bakugou walks over to the corner of Kirishima’s bed and sits. When he runs a sweaty hand through his hair, he notices that he’s shaking. God, he does not want to do this. Every fiber of his being wants to just curl up in Kirishima’s arms. But he can’t. “I…”

“I’m sorry,” are the words Kirishima expects to hear out of Bakugou’s mouth, but what is actually spoken renders him immobile.

“I think we need to break up.” Bakugou feels like he is definitely going to throw up. Not now, he’ll hold back for now, but later for sure.

The blood instantly drains from Kirishima’s body, and he is left feeling cold. “What?” His voice is only a broken whisper.

Bakugou bites the inside of his cheek to keep the tears that are forming in his eyes at bay. “We need to break up. I keep hurting you. And it needs to stop.” His voice is shaky, and he feels so fucking horrible. He knows he’s hurting the love of his fucking life yet again while saying this, but it has to be done.

“What? No! No. It’s okay, I forgive you, Katsuki. I know you didn’t mean it. I know I’m not useless, I promise. I forgive you, it’s okay. We’ll be okay.” Why does he feel so cold? He’s shaking now too. His eyes and throat are burning. Holy shit he feels so scared. No no no. He can’t lose him.

“But it’s not okay! This is not okay! The way I’m treating you is not okay! I keep hurting you and I need to stop! I need to figure out how to fucking calm down!” Bakugou feels like a sledgehammer is being struck against his damn ribs.

Kirishima speaks through a waterfall of tears, “Okay, you can do that! But we don’t have to break up! Please, Katsuki. I love you.” He grabs Bakugou’s hands and holds them. “We can get through this together, okay? I don’t want to lose you.” Bakugou only glances down at the alarmingly cold hands holding his hot and clammy ones. And at that, hearing Kirishima’s pleading words, feeling his hands hold his for probably the last time in what’s going to be a while, or possibly forever, he releases the barrier that’s been holding his tears back and lets them fall down his face. He shakes his head.

“No. I’m gonna keep fucking up. And you can’t keep taking it like it doesn’t affect you because I know it does. I can see it on your face, I know I’ve been exhausting you. You don’t deserve that. I need to be alone while I.. fix myself. I need to change something, I don’t know. I just-“ Bakugou takes a shaky deep breath. “I just need to be better. And… When I am better, then we can try again. I just can’t keep hurting you like how I have been.”

“You’re hurting me now.”

Bakugou knows this. God, he knows this, and he hates himself for it. “I’m sorry. We can try again in the future. Because I want to be with you, Eijirou. I love you so fucking much. But you deserve better, and I want to be better for you. It’s just… gonna take me some time.”

Something in Kirishima’s brain clicks and he doesn’t like some of what Bakugou has said. “It’s not fair of you to expect me to just wait around and be readily available for you whenever you decide you’re better.” But honestly, who is he kidding? Bakugou is the only one he wants, the only person he wants to love like this… but maybe this wasn’t exactly healthy after all- no. Fuck being logical right now. He’s in pain and he really doesn’t feel like thinking logically.

“I know that, idiot. I don’t expect you to wait around like some dumb loyal puppy. I mean, if you’re available and willing then we can try again. Or if you… if you do find someone else who treats you better, then whatever, that’s fucking fine. You deserve that. You deserve to always be happy.”

“You make me happy, asshole.”

“Eijirou…” Bakugou’s eyes are pleading now, begging for him to just understand and let him go for now.

Kirishima finally snatches his hands away from Bakugou’s. His throat is still burning, and his eyes won’t stop spilling more and more tears. “Get out,” he chokes out.

A moment of tense silence passes them. Bakugou wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what. He doesn’t know how to respond to Kirishima telling him to leave, it feels so foreign.

“I fucking hate you. Get out.”

Bakugou bites his tongue so hard it almost bleeds. Yeah… he deserved that. He deserves any anger that Kirishima has for him right now. But damn, that hurt… must’ve been how Kirishima felt when he called him useless. He really was such a fucking asshole to him.

When Bakugou gets up to leave, Kirishima lets himself be logical for a single moment. They’re heroes… and anything can happen. He would never forgive himself if those were the last words Bakugou heard from him before something bad happened. Bakugou grabs the door handle, but Kirishima’s voice stops him. “Wait!” Bakugou turns his head to look at pained, red eyes looking down at the bed. “I… I didn’t mean that. I don’t hate you… I just hate what’s happening…” Kirishima looks up at Bakugou one more time, and even though Kirishima feels like he’s drowning in heartache, he’s able to force out one last sentence. “I love you, Katsuki.”

Bakugou wants so badly to walk back over there and crash his lips onto Kirishima’s, and he almost does. He can feel this magnetic force pulling him to the love of his life. He doesn’t want to walk away… but he ruined what they had. Maybe, just maybe, in the future, he can rest in the arms that have comforted him so many times after he woke up from nightmares, arms that feel like home, and he’ll listen to the steady heartbeat that once coaxed him to sleep after suffering through a panic attack from one of the said nightmares. But for now, “I love you, Eijirou,” Bakugou pulls away and walks out of the bedroom.

Kirishima hugs his legs up against his chest and lets the sobs rip out of his body.

Bakugou’s head falls back against the other side of Kirishima’s door and he can hear him start to cry. He never wanted to make him cry...

Bakugou wants to slide down onto the floor to cry into his hands until the whole days’ worth of food threatens to make a reappearance, so he bolts for his bathroom.

Kirishima suddenly doesn’t want to be in his room anymore. Bakugou and him have hung out so many times in there that there’s a subtle hint of his scent, but that subtle hint is currently suffocating him. He looks up from where his face was buried in his knees and of course, the first thing his eyes set on is a picture of them from when they went mountain climbing during their first year. He can’t be here. He’ll literally suffocate and die if he stays in his room that has too many traces of his boyfrie-… ex-boyfriend. His ears are ringing as he starts to mumble frantically, “I need to leave, I need to leave, I need to leave.”

Kirishima pushes himself off his bed and quickly walks out of his room. His chest is in so much pain. He scans the hallway and tries to think if anybody else would be up right now. Ashido’s a night owl, so she should be awake. Hopefully. He just really needs a hug right now.

Ashido is laying in bed, scrolling through Twitter, with her eyelids starting to droop when she hears a soft knock on her door. She’s confused but she slowly sits up to listen and figure out if someone's actually outside her door or if she's simply hearing things. But when she hears the faintest sound of sniffling, she throws the bedsheets off her and jumps out of bed. Then she walks over to her door and when she opens it… “Oh no.” Ashido’s stomach drops at the sight of her dear friend’s red, puffy-eyed, tear-stained, broken face. “Oh, honey, what happened?” She’s afraid to ask because she’s pretty sure she knows the answer.

Kirishima’s eyebrows pull together and his bottom lip trembles, “w-we... broke up.”

Ashido grabs his wrist and pulls him into her room. They sit down on her bed and Kirishima’s head falls onto her shoulder. She wraps her arms around him, and he hugs her back lightly. That’s when she notices the trembling. “Just let it out, Kiri. It’s okay,” she says as softly as possible as she rubs his back.

Kirishima clutches onto Ashido as hard as he can without hurting her and his eyes are shut tight as he starts to cry again. His body shakes as he lets all the pain he’s feeling rise to the surface and boil over onto his friend’s shoulder. He tries to talk but he keeps gasping in between words. “My chest- it- it hurts so fucking bad. Why- does it feel like this- it feels like someone’s- stabbing me. God- why?” One of his hands clutches his shirt over his heart.

Ashido’s petting his head now. “Shhh… I know it hurts. I’m so sorry, Kirishima. I wish I could take the pain away… Is there anything at all I can do?” She would love to beat up that blonde bastard for making him feel like this but she doesn’t know what exactly happened, so she keeps the violent thoughts at a minimum.

After another moment filled with hiccups and sniffles, Kirishima takes a deep breath. His voice is still really wobbly but at least he isn’t choking on his words now, “My room. I can’t be in there right now. Too much of him.”

Ashido nods her head. “Okay, you can sleep in here then. We can figure out your room tomorrow. But we should probably try to get some sleep since it’s so late. Okay?”

It’s Kirishima’s turn to nod. “I’ll try.” He feels exhausted but he doubts that he’ll be able to fall asleep anytime soon. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No. Absolutely not. I will sleep on the floor.”

“No.”

“Okayyy… well if you’re comfortable with it then we’ll both sleep in the bed.”

Kirishima sighs and looks up at her. “Only if you’re one hundred percent comfortable with it.”

“I am. I promise.”

Kirishima searches her eyes for any hint of unease, but he finds nothing. His eyes fall to his lap. “Alright.”

“Good.” She stands up and walks over to her mini fridge to grab a bottle of water, then offers it to him. “Recycle, or else.” He grabs the bottle from her hand.

“Yes, ma’am.” He starts chugging the cold water and it feels nice on his raw throat. Once he’s done, he twists the lid back onto the bottle, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then scoots over to the other side of the bed. They both settle under the covers and a twinge of awkwardness hangs in the air. A silent moment passes before Kirishima speaks again. “My chest still feels like it’s being crushed.”

Ashido sighs through her nose. “Come here.” She opens her arms to signal an invitation.

“You sure?”

“Yes. I know you’re a touchy person so hopefully, this’ll help a bit.”

Kirishima scoots closer to her and lays his head on her shoulder and her arms gently wrap around his neck. He lays a hesitant arm across her stomach. It’s nice. It’s not… Bakugou… but it’s still nice. His eyes start to burn, and his chest starts to heave for the millionth time in the past eight hours. He feels Ashido’s small hand begin to pet his head and her fingers run through his hair. The tears are pouring from his eyes yet again. “Please don’t do that,” he whispers.

Ashido stops immediately and rests her hand on his back instead. “My bad.”

“Sorry.”

“No no. Don’t you be sorry.”

Kirishima pauses. “He used to do that all the time.”

Ashido barely nods. “I’m sorry, hun. I didn’t think about that.”

“It’s okay...” Kirishima’s voice is weary audible as exhaustion settles into his bones. He closes his eyes to try to sleep but all he can see is blonde hair and red eyes. He sighs. “He said he needs to get better.”

Ashido’s eyebrows furrow together. “What does he mean by that?”

“His behavior, I think. He said he keeps hurting me.”

“Is he?”

“Hurting me?”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“Kiri.”

“…Maybe… Yeah.” It comes out quiet and almost shameful.

“Then yeah, he needs to fix that.”

Kirishima’s quick to defend Bakugou, however. “But I understand that’s just how he is. And he doesn’t mean what he says most of the time, so really, it’s fine. Sure, it hurts for a moment, but I can get over it. I don’t understand why he thinks we need to break up for now.”

“For now, huh? So, there’s hope for the future?”

“I mean he said he wants to try again someday if I want to. But I don’t know how long it’ll be.”

“Hmm… maybe this is a good opportunity for you to work on yourself too.”

“Myself? Why?”

“Honey, listen to what you’re saying. It sounds to me like you don’t even care that he’s treating you like this.”

“I do care, it’s just-“

“You don’t care enough for it to matter. You know what I mean?”

“They’re just words… If I let them get to me then it means I’m… weak. He shouldn’t have to date someone who’s weak like that.”

“Kirishima.” There’s a forceful tone behind Ashido’s voice. “You being hurt from his behavior does not make you weak. You are allowed to feel that way. Bakugou’s behavior and attitude are shitty. He can’t even chill out around his own boyfriend who he supposedly loves and that’s even more shitty. You said it yourself, he’s hurting you. And if someone realizes they’re hurting a person they love then they should try to change the way they act. You, on the other hand, need to realize you do, in fact, deserve better than being treated like his verbal doormat. You need to stand up for yourself more.”

Kirishima is quiet for a while after that, letting the words sink in and process in his brain. He realizes that Ashido’s right in saying that he doesn’t truly care when Bakugou lashes out against him. But why? Why doesn’t he care? He realizes that he should care now but why was he so willing to let Bakugou get away with his horrible attitude?

But then he finally realizes…

He’s insecure.

But he thought his insecurities only pertained to being a hero and he mostly got over that a while ago. He didn’t think he would be insecure about being in a relationship. Well, he wasn’t insecure about being with Bakugou, no way. He admires Bakugou, loves him with every fiber of his being, and he is- or was, so proud and so happy to call him his boyfriend. Bakugou is strong and he deserves to be with someone who is also strong.

Ah.

He was afraid too.

Kirishima felt like he needed to be strong around him all the time, didn’t he? Bakugou doesn’t like weakness and if Kirishima was hurt by something Bakugou said then maybe he would’ve seen Kirishima as too weak for him and leave. Bakugou already left him though. But…

“I want to be with you, Eijirou. I love you so fucking much. But you deserve better, and I want to be better for you.”

Ugh. Why is this all so confusing and frustrating? Kirishima’s head starts to throb.

“Kiri?” Ashido’s softer voice snaps him out of his train of thought.

“You’re right… I should figure out some things for myself too. I think I was scared of what he would think about me if I was always upset with him.” Kirishima releases a disheartened sigh. “So… should I talk to someone?”

“Like a therapist?”

“Yeah…”

“I think that’s a good idea. I honestly believe everyone should talk to a therapist at some point because everyone struggles with something, and it would be good to get some professional advice. So, hopefully, that’s what Bakugou will do too. Everyone knows he needs it.” She mumbles the last part and Kirishima chuckles at it.

“Have you gone to therapy?” Kirishima looks up at Ashido curiously and she nods.

“Another story for another time though. It’s late and I need to get some beauty sleep before having to wake up before you to get you some post-breakup essentials.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yes, ice cream.”

Kirishima gives her a forlorn smile. “Thanks, Ashido, for letting me stay here and for talking to me.”

“I know, I know. I’m pretty cool aren't I?” She grins proudly. “But you’re welcome. Now go to sleep.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kirishima feels better. Not great by any means, but better. His eyes finally start to feel heavy and before his consciousness slips away, he can’t help but imagine that it’s Bakugou holding him in that moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link to part two!

[mochegato]

Hope on Board

Chapter 20 – Dust Yourself Off and Try Again

Chapter 1     Chapter 19

Tim shook his head, dislodging puffs of dust and tiny clumps of dirt onto the immaculate floors.  “There was no reason for me to be there for that.”  

“There was no reason for any of us to be there other than it was fun.” Marinette pointed out, examining the dust on her arms and clothes, but refusing to brush it off.  She was a good two shades darker than usual under all the dust, but she wasn’t about to risk incurring Alfred’s wrath by getting the floors filthy.  She didn’t know if Tim was still reeling from the explosions or just that brave.

“You enjoyed it,” Adrien laughed, clapping him on the back. Adrien and Tim coughed as more puffs of dust were released by the claps.  The group froze at the sound of footsteps approaching.  None of them wanted to face Alfred yet, not looking like they did.  Adrien’s smile immediately dimmed seeing Dick walk over to them.

“Hey guys,” Dick grinned, pulling Marinette into a hug. He gave Adrien a warm smile.  He may not have been able to win Adrien over yet, but he was still hopeful, despite it seeming like things were getting worse.  He supposed the constant missions were probably playing a part in that, but it would all be over soon and once it was, he was confident Adrien would see how devoted he was to Marinette.

Marinette squealed and squirmed to get out of his embrace. She giggled as he struggled to keep his arms around her.  “No, I’m filthy.  You’ll get dirty.”

“It’s okay.  I’ll get dirty with you any time you want,” Dick whispered in her ear.

Marinette turned bright red and looked over to the others to make sure they didn’t hear what Dick had just said.  “Dick!” she whisper yelled at him before burying her head in his chest.  Her face was completely hidden, but the red tips of her ears could still be seen.

“What did you say to her?” Jason laughed.  “I haven’t seen her turn that red in ages.”

Dick chuckled and nuzzled his face into her hair.  He wrapped his arms tighter around her.  He turned toward the group.  “Did you have fun?”

Marinette pulled her face away from his chest to give him a playful glare.  “Yes we did.”

“What were you doing?” Dick asked.  They had left while he was working on reports so he missed what led to the impromptu trip.

“Target practice,” Jason shrugged heading for a chair.

“More like target destruction,” Adrien grinned.

“I wouldn’t,” Tim warned without looking at Jason.  “We all got hit with that last explosion.  You sit in a chair now, Alfred will skin you.”

Jason grimaced and smoothly adjusted his trajectory to lean against a doorframe instead as though that had been the plan the entire time.

“Smooth,” Marinette laughed.

“I’m always smooth.  I’m nothing but,” Jason retorted.

Tim rolled his eyes.  “Smooth brained, maybe.”

“Fuck you,” Jason threw back, like an adult.

“Okay, I think I’m done here,” Tim responded shaking his head and inadvertently dislodging even more dust.  “I’m going to go take a shower.  You staying for dinner Adrien?”

“No, thanks though.  I have papers I need to get graded tonight.  I had a lot of fun.  Thanks for inviting me,” he nodded to Tim and Jason.

Tim waved him off as he made his way out of the room to take a shower in his room.  “You’re welcome anytime.  You’re family now.”

“You’re the only family I know that spends time together by blowing things up,” Adrien laughed.  Marinette gave him a pointed look.  “For fun.” Adrien amended.

“Gotta keep it interesting somehow,” Jason shrugged.

“I trust you are planning on keeping it interesting by cleaning that doorframe after you’ve showered, Master Jason,” Alfred spoke up passing through the room.

Jason jumped away from the frame.  “Yep.  That was planned.  Was absolutely going to do that.”  Adrien snickered at him, not even bothering to try to hide it.  “Shut it, Model Boy!” Jason narrowed his eyes at him.  “Since you’re family and all, it means you can find your own damn way out,” he grumbled turning the other way to get cleaning supplies.

“I’ll walk him out,” Dick volunteered.

“No,” Adrien answered coolly.  “I can find my own way out.  See you later, Mari.”  He gave her a small wave and smile that faded as his eyes met Dick’s.

Marinette broke out of Dick’s embrace to give Adrien a hug before walking with him to the front door.  “See you, Adrien.”  He gave her a kiss on the cheek and a meaningful look before he left.

Dick sighed coming up behind Marinette.  He swept her hair over one shoulder and rested his chin on the opposite shoulder.  He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. “Sorry about that,” Marinette said quietly.

Dick nudged her head affectionately with his.  “Not your fault.  It’s mine.  I just haven’t proven myself yet.  I’m working on it.”  He lowered his hands to run them over her bump.  “How did the twins like the explosions?”

Marinette giggled and placed her hands over his while her head rested against his neck.  “They liked it.  There was a bit of shuffling around after each one.”

“Each one?” Dick raised an eyebrow at her.

“Well, I couldn’t just let Jason have all the fun.”  Dick shook his head and laughed into her neck. “But, I didn’t do the grenade launcher,” she defended herself.  “Adrien did though.”

“Was that safe for the babies?” He asked hesitantly.  He knew Jason and Tim knew how to act around explosives, and he was sure they would keep an eye out for Marinette, but he also knew Jason could get carried away and might not realize how dangerous it was for a pregnant body.

Marinette nudged his head with hers, bringing his attention back to her.  “It was safe. If anything Jason was overcautious. The explosions were always really far away and he made sure it was just dirt.  He didn’t even want plants in the dirt in case they became projectiles that somehow went through the concrete walls we were hiding behind.  Wouldn’t let me use anything with any kind of a kickback either.”  She looked away and got a sweet smile as she remembered the day.  “He was much less cautious with Adrien, just kind of let him do whatever, as long as it wasn’t pointed toward me.  He hasn’t gotten to destroy anything for fun in a while, so this was nice for him.  Get that destructive energy out, you know.”

“Oh God, what have I done by introducing you guys to Jason and Tim. You two are like chaos embodied and mixed with Jason and Tim...”

Marinette coughed a few times.  She leaned away from him to study him for any hidden meanings in his comment.  Satisfied there were none, she pulled him toward his room and a warm shower.  “Do you think we can wash my clothes quickly?”

“I’m sure we can figure something out,” he smirked at her. “I think the most important thing right now is to get you out of these dirty clothes before you get sick.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Marinette tried to look unamused but failed spectacularly.

“I don’t think we should risk it.” He gave her a faux concerned look.  “And look at that, now I’m dirty too.  I better get out of mine too.”  He gave her a frown and made a show of thinking things through.  “But then we’ll both be naked… however will we keep warm?”

“Blankets?” Marinette suggested innocently.

“All dirty.  Every single one of them in the entire manor.  And the clothes.  All the clothes are dirty too.”  He gave her an exaggeratedly innocent shrug.  “We’ll have to come up with something else.”

Marinette laughed and turned in his arms to face him better, trying to angle her bulging belly so she could still cuddle into him.  “Good thing I’m an extremely creative person.”

Dick hummed in agreement, pulling her closer to kiss her. “God!  You have a room here, you know!  And if you didn’t want to use your room, there’s like three hundred others you could use,” Jason groaned at them.  

Dick and Marinette laughed.  Dick traced her face and pulled her toward the door, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”  Marinette smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his arm as they walked.

“Just don’t use my room!” Jason yelled after them.

<><><><><> 

“Damn.  There’s a problem in Bwunda.  I’ll probably have to be there for a day, maybe two.  Do you want me to drop you off at home on my way to the office?” Dick asked Marinette as he sat back down next to her at the manor’s dinner table to finish the meal with his family.

“No, that’s okay.  I’ll just stay at the old apartment tonight.  Make sure Adrien remembers to eat dinner,” Marinette gave him a weak smile.

“You’re spending more time at your old apartment than ours.” ‘With someone who actively dislikes me’ went unsaid as did the implication that it seemed like she no longer liked being in the apartment, their apartment, their home.  But the implication was understood by everyone there.

Marinette looked around at the family.  “Maybe we can talk about this later.”

“You’re welcome to stay here tonight, Marinette,” Bruce offered kindly.

Marinette gave him an awkward smile.  It wasn’t that she didn’t feel comfortable with them, it was more that there was too much space at the manor.  There was too much distance between the people staying there.  She could easily wander for half an hour and not see anyone, without trying to avoid people.  She really didn’t’ want that kind of space right now.  “Thanks, I think I’d be more comfortable in my old bed, you know?

“Yeah, I do.  I’ll give you a ride when you’re ready,” Jason offered.

“Thank you Jason.”  Marinette gave him a relieved smile, grateful for the easy acceptance of her preference. “Dick, you can stop by the apartment and feed Kismet before you leave, right?  You’ll have to stop and pack anyway.”

“Yeah,” Dick nodded absentmindedly.  She hadn’t been staying at the apartment a lot lately.  It was like she didn’t consider it home anymore. “Are you not comfortable there?” he finally asked, the thought just now occurring to him.

“She probably doesn’t want to be alone for a long time after passing out last week, Dickhead,” Jason chastised him around the bite of potatoes he just took.

“After what?” Dick exclaimed turning quickly to Marinette with a worried and hurt look.

“I didn’t pass out,” she assured him quickly, placing placating hands on his arm.  “I just got lightheaded.  I told you about it a few days ago,” Marinette reminded him quietly, again looking around at their audience.

“No, no you didn’t.  I’d remember that.” Dick said accusatorily, his voice becoming sharp and hard.  There was a problem that could have hurt the twins and she didn’t tell him.  She was slowly cutting him out of their lives.  Nothing major, just little things like fake smiles, staying at Adrien’s place more often, not telling him things about the babies. He knew they were having a few issues since he told her he loved her, but he didn’t think she would cut him out from the twins too.  It hurt to know she could do that, but it hurt more to know she would.

Marinette’s eyes shot to the other people at the table quickly. She blinked quickly a few times, taking in a few breaths and shifting uncomfortably in her seat.  “You were working on your computer.  Maybe I spoke too lightly.  I should have spoken louder.  Sorry.”

“Mari…” Dick started.

“That was a delicious dinner, as always Alfred,” Bruce announced loudly, interrupting whatever Dick was about to say.  Marinette was clearly not comfortable with the conversation in front of the others, understandably.  Dick seemed too caught up in the conversation to recognize the signs and back down and wait until they were alone.

“You’ve had a long day, did you want to go now?” Jason offered. His voice had a dangerous edge to it, but judging by the glare he was leveling at Dick, the hostility was aimed at Dick, not Marinette.

“Um…” she looked back and forth between Dick and Jason before deciding to take the out Jason was offering her.  Dick was upset and not thinking clearly.  He needed time to calm down and she wasn’t going to be able to offer him that unless she took Jason up on his offer.  “Yeah.  That might be a good idea.  I’ll just grab my stuff and go to the bathroom quickly before we leave.”

“I think Alfred has your clothes in the dryer.  I can take you to them,” Bruce offered getting up at the same time.  Bruce knew leaving the boys alone in the room when Dick’s temper was rising and Jason was mad, was likely a bad idea, but Dick needed a few moments away from Marinette to calm down and Bruce wanted to offer indirect reassurance that the family wasn’t upset with Marinette even if she and Dick were going through something.

As soon as Marinette and Bruce left Dick rounded on Jason and grabbed him by the collar.  “What are you doing?” he hissed at him.  “Why are you suddenly so attentive to Marinette’s every whim?”

Jason roughly shoved Dick away.  “Relax, Golden Boy.  I’m not trying to steal your baby mama.  You’re doing a bang up job of losing her all on your own without any help from me.”

“You’re checking on her constantly, taking her out, hanging out with her alone at the apartment, taking her to blow things up, real safe for the babies by the way, interjecting yourself between us when we’re talking,” he seethed.  He didn’t know what Jason’s game was but he did not appreciate it.  He and Marinette were having a few small issues, because they were in a relationship and relationships had issues sometimes.  He didn’t need Jason stepping in to make them into major problems.

“Okay, first, that wasn’t talking that was the beginning of an argument.  An argument you were going to lose, by the way.  Second, I took her shooting.  She wanted to see what the other weapons could do.  I wasn’t going to say no.  She deserves to blow up a few things considering all the stress she’s under and she isn’t supposed to have any stress according to the doctor, so I thought it would help. And I made absolutely sure it was safe. Third, I’m just trying to help Pixie Pop and your babies. She wants to be somewhere she feels safe and with someone she knows won't abandon her.” He growled the last sentence.  “Someone who will notice if she passes out again.  Right now that's Adrien, not you. You need to fix that or you're going to lose her. Or maybe that was the point. Then it's not your fault when she walks away, it's the job, not you.  But you'll be wrong.  It will be your fault.”

“What the Hell is wrong with you? Why would I want that?” Dick yelled at him.  How dare he imply Dick wasn’t utterly devoted to Marinette and the twins?  Every waking moment was spent thinking about them.

“You tell me, Golden Boy.  Or better yet tell Marinette.  She deserves to hear it,” Jason barked back, moving into Dick’s space to tower over him.

“I don’t.  Everything I do is for them.  I’m just wondering why everyone seems to know about this pregnancy than me.”  Dick pushed him back.

“Because we pay attention, Dickhead.  Because we’re here.  We’re not running all over the world, without Mari.”

“I pay attention,” Dick growled.

Jason scoffed at him.  “Clearly not well.”

“She didn’t tell me about passing out.  I still don’t know about it.”  Dick threw his hands up in exasperation.  Everyone kept mentioning it but nobody was telling him about it.

“Not a lot of details for you to have forgotten.  Happened while you were gone.  Anemia, common in twin pregnancies.  She’s taking iron supplements now.  Tim was there. You weren’t.”  Jason stuck and accusatory finger in Dick’s chest.

Dick’s glare snapped over to Tim.  “And you never said anything?”  He yelled, pushing Jason’s finger away.

“She already had,” Tim shrugged refusing to let his anger rise like Dick and Jason’s had.  His face was solidly set, but he was keeping it non-confrontational.  Dick and Jason were half a step away from a full blown fight and that was not what Marinette needed right now, or Alfred.

“No, she didn’t,” Dick repeated.  Why did everyone keep saying she told him?  She didn’t tell him.  He would remember if she told him.  This was something that could hurt the twins.  He wouldn’t just forget that.  Suddenly a thought froze him in his tracks.  “Did she tell you she did?”

“No.  I heard her tell you,” Tim said firmly.

Dick stared at him. There was no way.  There was no way he forgot that.  “What?”

“Marinette and I were at your apartment working on some details for the show when you came home from a mission.  You guys kissed and flirted.  Disgusting to watch.  You asked what you missed.  She told you a few things.  You pulled out your laptop.  She told you about the anemia.  That she got faint, light headed.  She told you she went to the doctor and had to start taking more iron or she could pass out.  You said something like ‘we wouldn’t want that.’  She didn’t tell you about passing out because she didn’t.  That was Jason being dramatic.”

Dick ran the words through his head.  That sounded vaguely familiar, but he still didn’t remember that conversation.  He should remember that conversation shouldn’t he? She had almost passed out.  She had been sick enough that she almost passed out and he didn’t know.  If he’d been in Gotham, he would have known.  She would have called him to take her to the doctor.  And he had accused her of lying and cutting him out. Thankfully, he hadn’t said it out loud, God that would have been terrible, but even that he had thought them…

What was wrong with him? Actually he knew what it was.  He was feeling disconnected from the pregnancy and it was causing anxiety.  But that wasn’t Marinette’s fault.  He knew that. He knew it was him and his missions with the Titans, but he couldn’t not go on the missions.  The disconnect was his fault and the damn Court of Owls.

“It was still pretty fucking bad,” Jason grumbled.  “And dangerous.”

Dick opened his mouth to respond, but immediately shut it when Marinette came back into the room.  She looked between the three of them with a calculating glance as if trying to gauge the feel of the room and figure out what they were talking about.  After a few tense moments, she turned to Dick with a painted on smile.  “Goodnight, Bluebird.  Have a good trip.  Please be safe.  Please no more injuries.”  Her expression morphed to a concerned frown before she rose up on her toes to give him a quick peck on the lips.  She turned to Jason with another fake smile.  “Ready?”

Jason nodded and they both started to leave.  Dick grabbed her hand before she could get too far away.  She looked up into his eyes with a confused furrow in her brow. He gave her a small smile.  “Give us a minute, please, guys.”

Tim nodded and headed toward the door, but Jason looked over to Marinette for her approval.  Marinette nodded to him with a weak smile.  Jason looked back and forth between the two before nodding back and leaving.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t hear you when you told me about the anemia. Not because you didn’t say it loudly enough,” he added quickly, seeing her mouth begin to open to take the blame herself, again, “because I was focused on something less important than you.”

“It’s okay.”  She had a thin smile on her face, but wasn’t looking at him.  

He’d seen enough fights between couples to see the body language.  She was trying not to escalate the situation.  She thought he was still angry and not listening.  He let out a long, deep sigh.  She should never feel that way about him.  “It’s not,” he assured her.  “I should have been listening to you and I wasn’t.  I’m sorry.”

Marinette finally looked up to meet his eyes.  Her eyes were glassy.  “I just… is it always going to be like this?”

Her voice had a hopeless, lost quality that broke his heart.  He pulled her into a tight hug.  He stayed that way for a few minutes, holding onto her, breathing in her scent, feeling her warmth, and listening to her heartbeat even out.  He pulled away just enough to rest his forehead on hers and look her in her eyes.  “No.  I swear.  The timing is terrible.  You’re focused on the show and your store.  I’m focused on this project for work on top of the regular, consistent obligations for work.  But this project should be over soon and once it’s over, I won’t be as much of an asshole. I know I’m screwing everything up…”

“You’re not,” she assured him, cupping his face.

He gave her a wry smile.  “I am.  I’m overwhelmed and scattered and scared for you and the babies, and I’m letting that fear dictate my behavior.  I love you, Marinette.  I love this family we are building.  And as soon as this project is over, I am going to be so attentive you’re going to get sick of me… or I can give you space if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for me to get sick of you.  I can’t wait until the project is over.” Her smile was watery, but stronger, more assured in him and their relationship.  “I love you, Dick.  I love every moment I get with you.  Please be careful out there.  Please don’t get hurt again.”

“I’ll do what I can,” he promised her.  He nuzzled into her hair as he held her close until they both had to leave.

Chapter 21

Tags:

@dickinette-february @demonicbusiness @ichigorose @iloontjeboontje @ladybug-182 @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @golden-promises @trippingovermyfeet @emimar7 @laurcad123 @lady-bee-fechin @thewitchwhowaited

[robbiedaymonds]

3x04 madwife analysis (aka freakout)

So when I started watching s3, I decided to only watch Laura’s scenes for many reasons. I didn’t exactly like any Madwife references beyond the first episode and I wasn’t expecting anything big.

But boy was I wrong as fuck!

I realized, before I started writing this, that we’ve gotten a lot of Madwife in s1 and s2, but almost all of it was from Sweeney’s PoV right? His feelings, his yearnings, his puppy-dog eyes. And now, we’re seeing Madwife from Laura’s point of view and the angst is overwhelming.

Let’s begin.

First off, it seems like Laura gave up the coin and went to purgatory/hell to try to find Sweeney right? At least, once she realized in 3x03 what was going on, she changed her tune. She talked to that old lady about Sweeney. She hilariously brushed off any sort of “relationship” between the two of them in a laughable, memeable way. 

And then my friends.....

the old lady says “You were just talking like maybe he’s someone special.”

And what happens? We see Laura, looking mournful and guilty even, and then...AND THEN! 

A MOTHER FUCKING MADWIFE MONTAGE OVER A ROMANTIC/ANGSTY SONG!!

I’m not even joking, I almost died. I was like “Am I really seeing this?! Is this really happening?!” And lord when I rewatched that part and listened to the lyrics, it hurt my god damn soul.

And then, Laura quickly changes her tune and tells the lady that no, he’s just the guy who killed her, but her face says otherwise.

Okay, BREATHE. Take a moment if you need to.

Second off, a small moment. Laura’s humming this tune that we heard in 3x03. Laura figures out the title is “Requiem of Balder”. !!! For those who don’t remember, Baldr is Odin’s son and briefly was mentioned in connection with Sweeney when he was doing his big battle as Lugh near the end of his life where he killed Baldr (or Odin), when he was talking to Mr. Ibis. This is cool because it not only links Laura with Odin and her destiny to kill him, but also Laura and Sweeney in a roundabout way.

Third, let’s just say, the moment I screamed and paused the show: the blood. Laura’s dust on the ground and some guys find Sweeney’s mutilated :( corpse. They take him away and the tomb he was laying on was covered in blood. His blood. One dude stays to clean it up and starts hosing it off which makes the blood start to slide down the sides of the tomb and what happens? The guy steps on the grigri potion that Samedi gave her to give her life.

And my friends, we watch with held breath as MAD SWEENEY’S BLOOD mixes with LAURA’S POTION and starts to glow with golden veins. And wouldn’t you know it, Laura gets yeeted out of purgatory and winds up, naked and alive, lying on the floor where the mixture had...mixed.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!

I know most of the fandom had this idea from s2 onward. Sweeney’s blood was the key to Laura’s potion. But the implications is that Sweeney had LOVE IN HIS VEINS because, remember Samedi said the final potion ingredient was two drops of blood infused with love. *SCREAMS* I can’t even eloquently say how much this destroyed me in a good and bad way. The fact that it meant Sweeney kept up his bargain: he was paramount in making Laura live again. T___T His love (whether it be specifically for her, or just his ability to love in general) was paramount in making her potion work.

The poetry of it is just unparalleled.

Okay so Laura wakes up and asks where Sweeney is (she uses his GOD DAMN NAME and let me tell you I just about ascended to the pearly gates myself) and is told he’s gone. Like...gone gone. The subtle emotions on her face are indescribable. She’s guilty and sad, there is grief and confusion there. She says it’s “her fault” that he’s dead and that she should have been able to bring him back, but couldn’t. She’s so damn sad, you can’t help but feel for her. I don’t know if “her fault” was because she ran him away after they had magic~sex~ with the Lao or because she couldn’t save him...maybe it was both. 

In any case, Laura facing her feelings and dealing with consequences of her actions and decisions is a big step for her. (Also can we celebrate that she’s alive again?! I hope she doesn’t squander this second chance, but I doubt she will. She has a plan and it’s to kill Wednesday so thank god.)

Also, we have Laura picking up Sweeney’s coin, which is, for once, covered in his blood rather than tucked away in her chest. That moment was sort of sweet and understated and I think will have something to do with Doyle finding her, but we’re not here to talk about that. The fact is, she didn’t leave it. She still has Sweeney’s coin, even after she willingly gave it to him.

Lastly, we find Laura eating, sitting in a cemetery. I feel like she’s at home in places of the dead now, even though she’s alive. I love the motif and the implications of what that means. Anyway, the guy brings over a box and in it is Sweeney’s ashes. Laura takes it almost delicately and we get some gorgeously  heartbreaking shots of her hands stroking the sides and we get the line “Somehow all of him fits in here.” RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON’T YOU. And then, as if I’m not in enough pain, they show another snippet of a flashback with that same ghostly romantic song, a shot of Sweeney sitting in that field. I think that’s important to note...THAT is the moment she thought of. When she was at her lowest and Sweeney told her to suck it up and keep fucking fighting, no matter what.

I think that says a lot in that moment. Now that Laura’s alive, she could easily return to a normal life, but that moment spoke a lot into her future. She’s going to keep on with her mission to kill Wednesday. Sweeney died trying to do the same and since she couldn’t save him, she’s going to kill the god instead.

And of course, there’s the symbolism of Laura being dropped off in the dark near a glowing hill. We know Laura always saw Shadow as a glow in her B&W dead vision right? So she’s standing there, glow in the distance....HUGGING THE BOX TO HER CHEST. She’s hugging Mad Sweeney to her chest, looking a little lost, just one sad girl trying to kill the Allfather, and she’s walking toward the light. OOF. It hurt big time, y’all. I can’t even.

Anyway, I feel like there may be a moment where Laura buries the box and officially says goodbye to Sweeney, but I also can’t help but think of all the emotional connection there is with the simple fact of her holding onto it. She could have dumped it into a river after she left the cemetery, but no she took it with her, her sole possession besides a golden god-coin, a box of ashes.

There’s a lot to unpack, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. I’m still digesting and I need time to process! Feel free to add your thoughts, let me know how y’all are doing. 

[burnedbyshoto]

temerity

― the perfect job for an overworked, tired, and romantic you is obviously a stressful, demanding, but oh so aesthetic coffeeshop. your job only becomes better when a handsome redhead appears through the door with a loud bang, and you can do nothing but fall for him. or the five times kirishima orders coffee and the one time he doesn’t.

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pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, fluff, light angst, pining, coffee shop!au, modern!au, college!au, happy ending, five times he did and one time he didn’t trope

word count: 9,394

a/n: happy birthday to my beautiful love @ikinabi​!!!! this was written for you based off of your favorite tropes including your favorite word, bet you saw this coming a mile away because my interrogation for this was absolute ass. also sorry for the angst, I couldn’t help myself! for the rest of you non-reds, this was a pretty damn fun piece to write. kirishima was modeled after how red sees him too, sorry. I haven’t typed that much in a single sitting in a long time, so it was p refreshing. like always, enjoy and leave a comment if you enjoyed ;-; (oh and thank you all for kiri coffee taste suggestions)

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O N E

Working in a small coffee shop isn’t exactly what you had once thought it to be.

For years you had been attending the small coffee shop just by your university. Most of your studying, homework, and late-night mental breakdowns had taken place in the corner of the shop, hidden from the sight of the patrons, which was conventionally the best spot for the strongest wifi.

You had been there so many times, having tried every single drink on their menu, and had gotten to know every worker there ― including the owners. So when the invitation to work there was brought up the one night you showed up in hysterics because you had lost your other job, it shouldn’t have taken you by surprise.

So now, in your final year of university, you stood at the counter. A textbook cracked open near the register light, the gentle coffee shop tunes playing merrily in the background. The intricate, familiar, and distinguished smell of both fresh and aging coffee beans with day-old pastries soaked deep into every centimeter of the room. 

The coffee shop was typically slow at this time at night, most people, thankfully, choosing to keep their caffeine addictions primarily in the mornings. Or, as a student had once confessed, didn’t want to make your job more demanding, so they made their own caffeinated drink this late at night. Regardless, it didn’t matter; the morning and afternoon crowds at this coffee shop were busy enough for you to be grateful for this downtime, especially as midterm season was beginning to approach. With this upcoming season, you knew you would be pouring liters of coffee down red-eyed, broken-spirited, college students' throats in the coming days.

Humming, you flipped the page of your biochem textbook, information on amino acids and protein structure twisting in your mind. At the same time, you tried to absorb the chaotic, overflowing amount of information presented on a single page. With a pen to your lip, you frowned at the sentence, rereading phrases over and over again as you struggled to figure out just why Hydrogen formation was so important. 

That didn’t last for too long, fortunately. 

For when you were about to scream to your coworker who was hiding away in the backroom about how amino acids could go fuck themselves, the front door slammed open. 

Despite the wooden door being extremely, almost stupidly heavy (to the point where there was a sign that clearly read: YES WE ARE OPEN, THE DOOR IS JUST REALLY HEAVY, outside), it crashed into the wall, causing a loud smack to rattle the shop. You, having been so absorbed in your studies, jumped at the sound. Your body flinched as a surprised shriek left your lips.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry! It said the door was heavy, but I didn’t think it would slam open like that!” came an apologetic and obviously embarrassed voice from the entrance.

Your heart was pounding with adrenaline. You focused your attention on the man who was frantically checking potential damages to both the door and the wall. All while he continued to apologize. 

Red hair and red eyes are the first things you noticed about him.

Red hair that obviously was dyed, red, warm eyes seemed smooth and seemed to melt into sugary brown, and a rather large scar over his right eye that stopped just at his eyebrow. His smile was broad, exceedingly bright, albeit stiff.

Despite your pumping blood and the way that your fingertips tingle with your fear, a smile and laugh pressed to your lips as he fumbled to close the door behind him (although it was nearly closed by the time he fumbled for the metal brass door handle). Pushing up off the counter from where you were lying, you shut the textbook you had, waving off the new customer.

“No worries! Most people either overcompensate or can’t open the door at all,” you explained with a pinching smile, the laughter in your tone so noticeable despite your intent to keep your humor hidden. Your smile and softly thudding heart only seemed to increase stupidly as the red-headed man approached the cash register.

He was dressed horribly.

He wore an orange gym shirt, most definitely worn with age, and a bit too small on his… physique, navy blue basketball shorts that had white stripes on the side of his thigh, and black athletic crew socks with bright red crocs. 

A living, walking fashion disaster.

“Um,” you stifled a teasing snort, “what can I get for ya?”

The man (was he a himbo? he seemed like he could be one through his appearance alone!) crossed his arms across his chest, lower lip jutting out as he read the menu under his breath with curious, wide eyes. His head tilted to the side, his gaze seemingly stuck on a single area of the menu, and with all the curiosity of the world weighing down on you at this one, very moment, you turned behind you.

“Anything catching your eye?”

“This is… uh, this is my first time in here,” he admitted, his gaze falling from the menu, catching your own eye when you turned back around to face him. His eyes were wide, clear as they were alarmingly honest; he paused for a bit before eventually adding, “actually.”

“Well,” you began, your own honest smile brightening on your face, “lucky for you, I’ve tried everything on this menu. Pick your poison, I can tell you what everything tastes like.”

His eyes widen in what you can only recognize as being overwhelmed, but you try to hide the way your smile is turning into a smirk when he begins to list out drinks.

Drink after drink he names, most of them being dark, black, bitter-tasting coffees, and you can see some hesitation in him with each name he lists.

“You don’t seem to know what kinda coffee you like, huh?” you eventually point out once he’s had you repeat the entire menu for the dark roasts the shop had.

“That would be embarrassing if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve never had coffee in my life before,” he laughed partially in embarrassment, but much more in some underlying mirth and energy, he seemed to easily hold. Energy that seemed to warm your chest more than any cup of coffee on a cold morning. “I’m what you could call a coffee virgin.”

Now that got a snort out of you.

“Okay, coffee virgin,” you teased, immediately grabbing a kids' throwaway cup behind the counter. “You should’ve started with that!”

“I didn’t want to come off as uncultured! I mean, I’m down at the university, the uni down the street, I’m a university student myself! But being twenty-one and never having coffee before? It just seems… I don’t know so unmanly!”

All while he was confessing the reason as to why he had never in his life had a single cup of coffee, you had poured the simmering black coffee that he was most interested in into the cup. It was filled with only a small amount of the black, bitter liquid, just enough to give him a good taste of the drink. Placing the kids' cup in front of him with a satisfactory thunk, you grinned up at him.

His hand was pressed to the back of his neck, an almost shameful look on his face with just the smallest blush brightening his cheeks and ear tips.

“I think it’s cool you’re a uni student without a coffee addiction,” you smile earnestly, pressing the kids' cup closer to him. “Shows a different kind of man that you’re able to handle a workload without a caffeine drip.”

If you didn’t know better (and honestly, you didn’t, you were probably projecting the weird stranger crush you had seamlessly formed on him), you would have said he forgot how to speak. He clears his throat, his embarrassment fading into a small, soft smile, and he picks up the cup.

“Thank you for the sample.”

He takes a drink of the warm liquid, and immediately he seems to crush the paper cup in his hand, a suppressed hysteric of coughing spluttering past his fisted hand on his mouth, tears springing into his eyes. You yelped in surprise, hands fluttering out to smack him on the arm in a failed attempt to reach his back.

“O-Oh my god!” he eventually wheezed, his eyes staring down at the crushed cup as if it was some sort of vermin, a creature that had no use being alive but still pitied it. His other hand wiped at his lips as to rid of its taste. His head snapped back towards you, his eyes wet with betrayal from both his thoughts and taste buds. “Can you do something, not this at all?!”

You purse your lips for a second, thinking about just what could suit his apparent dislike for bitter, black coffee. With a single idea in your head, you leaned forward onto the counter, a smile back on your lips.

“Do you like cinnamon rolls?”

He blinked.

“Who doesn’t?”

“For here or to go?” you asked, head tilting to the side before you eventually remembered that the shop was closing in a few minutes. “Actually, it’ll be to go!”

“O-Oh, okay!”

“Can I get a name?” you asked, your hand grabbing the paper cup and a sharpie to write his name. There was no reason for you to write down his name; he was the only person in the shop right now.

“K-Kiripima,” he answers with wide eyes and red cheeks. Your eyebrows scrunch.

“Kiripima?”

“No! I’m, oh my god, this is so unmanly of me,” he bemoaned, his head shaking. “Kirishima Eijirou! I’m Kirishima Eijirou!”

The pealing laughter that erupted from your mouth stood no chance at being silenced. And so with an embarrassed nod of your own, you pressed off the counter, writing his name was the neatest writing you had, before setting off.

You worked fast behind the counter, making the specialized drink just for the blushing himbo of a man before you, well, at least until he interrupted your chain of thoughts and actions.

“Biochem, right?”

Placing the cup where the steamed milk machine was, you turned to look at Kiri(p)shima, who was pointing at your textbook with an all too familiar look on his face that told you he recognized it.

“Unfortunately,” you smiled at him, eventually shrugging. “I also go to the uni down the street.”

“Aw damn, sucks I’ve never seen you there before!” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck when he glances up at you from the textbook before looking back down. “I took this class last semester!”

“Oh? Who’d you have?” you asked, continuing on with your work, your suspicion of him being a himbo slightly dwindling.

“Chaney!” he responded, and you looked over at him; you had him this semester, too. “It was the worst! I dropped out the first week! Didn’t help that I thought biochem was a split biology and chemistry course… teaches me not to listen to Kaminari and Mina… ah, I mean, my friends!”

Himbo indeed.

Laughing at his flux in judgment, you placed the steaming cup of sweet, sweet coffee in front of Kirishima, hands pressing onto your hips as you did so.

“How about this?”

You watch as the redhead grins at you, picking up the cup of coffee and drinking it despite your last second squeak that it was probably way too hot to be consumed.

“HOLY SHIT! This is so much better! It tastes just like cinnamon rolls! Bro, you have some serious talent!” Kirishima yelled, his eyes not quite as bright, but his smile definitely still as warm. “How much will it be?”

“On the house,” you admitted with a shrug, your cheeks warming with his look of disbelief. “I took your, uh, coffee virginity away and nearly killed ya, it’s the least I could do!”

Kirishima narrows his gaze on you, his smile softening in tandem while he looks over at the menu again, taking another stiff sip of the coffee.

You watch as he takes his wallet out of his pocket, and with a little effort, pulls out two thousand yen.

“For the next few customers then, yeah?” he smoothly states, already moving back towards the door long before you could demand that he come back and take his money with him.

“Hey!” Kirishima yells, his hand had opened the heavy ass door with no problem or strain. “What's your name?”

“Why?!” you yelled back despite your instincts screaming at you to tell him your name.

His grin stretches so widely you take notice of his glinting, almost abnormally sharp canines from the counter. 

“So, I know who to blame for my caffeine addiction!”

You laugh.

“Y/l/n y/n,” you smile, your stomach flipping at the way he seems to brighten with that information. “I promise that’s my real name too, no mess-ups.”

Kirishima laughs, red staining his face.

“Guess we can’t all be as amazing as you, huh?”

You didn’t get the chance to even scream in your fluster because he was already gone. The heavy wooden door closed by the time your coworker emerged from the back, an all too curious look on their face.

“What was that?”

You shrug, a smile stretching further on your face.

“Hopefully, a new regular.”

T W O

“Kiripima!”

If there was a way for you to not giggle at the way Kirishima nearly slammed the door through the wall in his shock embarrassment, you would have liked to know.

“My name is Kirishima, y/l/n!” he yelled back, his cheeks the same color as his spiked hair. “I mean, if you want to call me Kiripima, that’s okay! It’s just… my name is Kiri-shima!”

“Sorry, sorry, Kiripima was too cute to resist!” you admitted with a smirk, your body leaning forward, elbows pressed onto the counter, hands pressed against your cheeks. “What can I get for you so late at night, Kiri-shima?”

Kirishima smiles broadly, his hands sinking into his pockets as he walks over towards you and the counter. He’s dressed much more normally today, he wore black jeans that are slightly dirty with some sort of white powder, and his shirt is a crimson red. It’s tight against his biceps but fits him much better than the last shirt he wore, and on the fabric right above his heart, lays a simple print: FATGUM’S GRUB.

“Nightshift, unfortunately, finally caught me this week!” Kirishima sighs, his shoulder-shrugging but the smile remaining just as firmly on his face. “It’s no biggie, though; it’s for one of my bros who needed the night off!”

“Oh, so you’re an everyday hero?” you tease, enjoying the way that he grins wide enough to show off his sharp canines before it humbles into an embarrassed smile. “How manly of you.”

“Nothing anyone else wouldn’t do,” he mumbled, his gaze falling to your shoulder in his embarrassment.

“Alright, alright, if you say so,” you relent, sighing softly before straightening up and smiling up at the red-haired man who was busy taking in your menu once again with significant hesitation. “What can I get for you this time, Kirishima?”

Kirishima’s eyes glinted over, a laugh once again rumbling in his chest before he sighed, “What do you suggest for me, y/l/n?”

And so, at nearly ten p.m., you stood behind the cash register, Kirishima’s coffee long since given to him, and the two of you were intently talking, laughter and enthusiastic yelling being exchanged fervently.

You learned his name was Kirishima Eijirou; he was twenty-one years old, born and raised in Musutafu. You knew that while yes, he most definitely a himbo (something you confirmed with strategic questions, and not straight up asking him), he was an engineering major! He played a ton of sports but seemed to prefer heavy contact sports, rugby, and soccer being his top choice of sport. You even found out that this man (who often used the term manly in a way that meant ‘approved by Kirishima’) was the biggest fan of the old movies and comic book hero Crimson Riot. You figured this out when he pulled out his phone to show you a picture of his new goldfish and accidentally revealed his lock screen being him and the famous actor behind the superhero.

“You’re telling me you’ve NEVER seen an All Might movie, but you’ve seen ALL the Crimson Riot movies?!” Kirishima yelled, his arms shooting out past the counter to grab you by the shoulders, shaking you intensely with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face.

“Be careful with your coffee!” you squealed, trying to keep his elbow from knocking over his cup that had still gone untouched.

“Y/L/N!” he exasperated, pulling himself in closer to you, his eyes wide and bright, quickly drowning you with his radiant energy and overwhelming enthusiasm. “Answer!!!”

“Oh my god! Yes, Kirishima! I have never seen an All Might film but have seen every single Crimson Riot film!” you confess, your cheeks hurting from your laughter, and growing sense of embarrassment because everyone in the world has seen the All Might movies!

Hell, even people who weren’t from Japan had seen them all!

The movie superhero was a blockbuster smash with every movie they did!

“Why not?! How not?!”

“Because my dad never let me watch them growing up because the guide warnings,” you wheezed, your stomach cramping with your laughter, your hands grabbing onto his sturdy ― and holy fuck, were they sturdy ― biceps trying to ease his excited(???) shaking. “Besides, my dad is a hardcore Crimson Riot fan; he would have a heart attack and die if he heard that I went to go watch an All Might film.”

“Holy shit,” Kirishima breathed, a glazed over glee washing over his face in some euphoric bliss. “Your dad… is so manly, I think I could marry him.”

Your laughter only grew when Kirishima wiped tears from his eyes, and you patted his arm in your condolences.

“I think he would not take to someone claiming to be the biggest Crimson Riot fan!”

Kirishima grin only grew, “Bet he wouldn’t!”

You tilted your head, your smile becoming a bit lopsided, ready to take that bet right there, right now. You knew your dad was most definitely still awake at this time.

But the words never got to pass your mouth because as soon as you opened your mouth to speak, a loud ringtone interrupted you.

You also hated the fact that you recognized the ringtone to be the Crimson Riots theme song.

Kirishima’s warm hands pulled away from you, his overeagerness abandoned as he pulled out his phone and pressed it to his ear without checking who was calling.

“It’s Ei, talk to me.”

The nickname of his first name caused your stomach to flip, his smooth baritone voice easily sending shivers down your spine. Still, with the mention of such an intimate nickname… the chill crawling down your spine, teasing every nerve in your system, was inevitable.

You watched Kirishima’s face. The way that he easily took in the words of whoever was on the other side of the line. The smile on his face remained if only muted just a bit as he agreed left and right with whoever was on the other side.

“Nah, I can get there in a few! Don’t worry about it, Fat, I normally show up early to shifts regardless, I don’t blame ya! Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah! Yeah! See ya soon!”

Disappointment blossomed in your chest, the horrible feeling of having to say goodbye to a customer who had only come in twice! Twice! Most times, you never wanted to see any customers, even some regulars, more than once in your lifetime! But again, there had been no other customer in your life as a barista that had been as kind, friendly, and hot as Kirishima.

“Well, I gotta go now,” Kirishima softly sighed, his lips pressing into a half-smile, his eyebrows scrunched together in his (maybe) reluctance to leave. “Fat, er, my boss, got overloaded with the late-night munchies, so…”

“Time for the fanboy to leave?” you finished for him, your fingers looping into your apron, your eyes glancing at the clock that showed you that you should’ve been cleaning up five minutes ago.

“Yeah, sadly!” Kirishima laughed, his hand grabbing the coffee and pocketing his phone as he made his way to the front door. You followed after him, ready to lock the door after him in case some desperate customer tried to come in. “Well, thank you for the coffee again! I gotta see just how much you know about the greatest superhero ever the next time I drop by!”

You smiled.

“Next time?”

Kirishima paused for a bit, “Yeah, next time!” he pushed through the front door, and you watched as he exited the shop, his body turning so he was looking at you while he walked backward. “I told ya, y/l/n, it's pretty unmanly of you, but you got me hooked on caffeine!”

There was no time for you to argue otherwise because he turned on his heel just as quickly and began jogging off to his own job.

“You’ll close up by yourself?” your bitchy coworker asked, and you startled, seeing that she was also pushing past the door. “You kept us over way later because you can’t stop flirting with the customers, which by the way, is against protocol.”

You roll your eyes.

“Yeah, whatever, bye.”

T H R E E

“Next in line, please!”

It was busy.

As you had once thought many, many weeks ago, the midterm season had finally come with full force, and it was horrible. There were at least four crying college students found in any of the studying rooms the shop had from sun up to sundown. Some of the students were found soaking their tears onto the worn leather sofa, some moments from dying on the plenty of counters and tables.

On multiple days there had been students who stayed the entire day, drinking whole pots worth of black coffee when they were ordinarily sweet coffee drinkers. You had to give some freshmen girl a tight hug the other day who was seconds from taking a W on her transcripts because she absolutely could no longer handle her math class. You had the unfortunate time of giving a student the news that no, today was not Thursday, it’s Friday, so yes… they missed their midterm for a professor who would refuse to reschedule any missed exam.

But it wasn’t all too bad.

Kirishima had been showing up practically every day now; he would order a pastry every time, opting out of a drink by showing you his three-liter water bottle. It was nice to have someone like Kirishima around (partially because you usually worked with a younger coworker,) who was both strong and sweet. He wasn’t majorly concerned about his midterms, stating that he had study groups with his friends and had been on top of his game and only came to the coffee shop to do light personal studying. So, during your mad dashes to make the 2,783rd cup of coffee within your shift, you couldn’t help but glance over at Kirishima, who was comforting crying students. When they weren’t crying, and you weren’t desperately trying to appease the caffeine raged customers, he chatted with you, seated on the counter by the coffee counter.

Having him around so much was actually both making your day better and much, much worse. On the one hand, that meant that since you were paired up with coworkers you didn’t get along with, you had a fantastic company that literally made the nights go by so fast as you and he became closer and closer friends. But, on the other hand, it also made your once attraction to him, having been solely based on physical looks to bleed over to personal traits, and you wanted to cry with every poor attempt of flirting that flew over his head.

However, you did get to learn that 1. he did, in fact, dye his hair red because you had the privilege of seeing his black roots. And that 2. despite his phone being filled with the craziest metal and rock songs, he really only listened to a playlist buried in his phone that was filled with soft acoustic guitar and sweet bubblegum pop songs. It was great.

But it was no time to think about your tall, red-headed crush. You had much more pressing issues with the large coffee crowd in front of you. It was rush hour, and since you were scheduled for tonight's shift, they asked if you wanted more hours for today since they were training someone new.

Obviously, you had agreed.

You had forgotten the horrors of rush that included sleep-deprived, caffeine-infused insanity of students coupled with the ever-demanding adults with jobs that they very much needed to return too. It was always horrific.

But you for sure never expected to see your crush before you.

“Kiri!” you smiled, the smile on your face was one of pure exhaustion and joy of seeing your friend crush. Your gaze quickly dropped away from him, your eyes returning to the paper cups you held, writing in their orders and name as quickly as you could. “How can I help you?”

Kirishima visibly gulped, and you froze a bit before setting down the large order on the counter for your coworkers to eventually get to. You knew by the pile-up on orders you would be switched out with the new hire after Kirishima and the person behind him.

“I, uh, I need to ask you something!” Kirishima spoke sharply, his arms stiff at his side. His usual kind and gentle smile on his face is mechanic and dull. He was… he was sweating? Pity filled your stomach; maybe he had done terribly on a midterm.

“Do you need a new coffee rec?” you immediately ask your mind on the set menu behind you, trying to come up with a coffee just sweet enough for the charming man in front of you. “You haven’t had a drink in a while, I don’t remember what you had last, though.”

“No, not that! I have a… well, I have a confession!” Kirishima tries again, his body somehow becoming even stiffer as he nods his head in growing speeds. “Yup! A confession!”

“Would ya hurry it up, kid! Some of us got work to get to!” came a crabby voice from behind Kirishima, and you winced, looking past your crush to the eldering man who looked like he was eating and shitting stress every day for the past three years. 

“Sir, please calm down, it won’t take too long,” you frowned, not at all happy with the sheer impatience of the customer. You turned back to Kirishima, an apologetic look on your face. “But a confession? Okay, well, actually… I have one for you as well!” Maybe you could get yourself to confess you liked him?

But the old man’s interruption seemed to have calmed Kirishima down significantly, who snapped out of his haze.

“Sorry, sorry!” he apologized to the man behind him, bowing deeply for his troubles before facing you again and laughed. The palm of his hand hit his forehead as he groaned lowly. “Sorry, this is so unmanly of me, y/l/n! I mean, I shouldn’t even be doing this because you’re working, but I finally… I just…”

He trailed off, and you found it impossible to follow his train of thought, something you weren’t too bad at doing.

“Just what?”

It was with that the world seemed to still.

The noise of the busy coffee shop, the hustling of your coworkers, the chattering of the studying students, and business calls going mute as you stared up into Kirishima’s red, comprehensive, honest eyes.

“Well, it’s just that I, um, I--”

“Listen, kid,” the man behind Kirishima snapped at him. “I have twelve minutes to gather my drink and make it back to my meeting with my executive board. And you’re holding up the damn fucking line! Make up your mind on what coffee you want, because you’ve been in this line with me for almost ten minutes, order it and pay! Let’s get moving!”

“Sir!” you gasped, horrendously mortified a customer was acting like that! “That’s incredibly rude! He hasn’t even been here for a minute!”

“It’s actually been three!” he sneered.

You opened your mouth to retaliate, not at all positive if it had been three minutes because by god did you get lost in Kirishima’s eyes.

“No!” Kirishima interrupted you before you could begin, and you looked up at Kirishima, who looked like a kicked puppy, and that sent your heart into a whole series of palpitations you didn’t know would happen with him. “It’s fine, sorry, I got worked up… um… one of my best bros likes his coffee black, and well, I like it now too. A regular black coffee, to go…”

You didn’t even get a chance to say anything, Kirishima slipping the exact amount of money for the drink before disappearing into the crowd.

Your sight narrowed when it befell onto the old man who looked proud of himself, “Finally! Now, let me see what you guys have! I don’t know what I want!”

F O U R 

Kirishima was late.

So late, so very, very late.

He checked his phone for the time yet again, somehow praying that in the last time he had checked his phone (which had been three seconds ago), the time hadn’t shot forward by ten minutes, and by the spirit of god had maybe, possibly rewound by ten minutes. He only hoped that he wouldn’t show up too late today; he actually needed something with caffeine to keep him awake today.

But he saw the coffee shop straight ahead, the small white light by the front door still buzzing and bright with the illuminated: OPEN! sign. Kirishima barreled through the front door with now practiced and known strength, his forehead sweating profusely, and his heart hammering in his throat.

“I’m… here!” he panted, his eyes finding yours as you were cleaning up the counter with a disinfecting liquid and cloth.

He had seen you yesterday, but still, seeing you at the counter, your gaze on what you were doing was like an arrow to his lungs. He looked at you in his personal slowed downtime, the way that the halo of frizzy, curly, flyaways from your hair gleamed softly with the backlight, the warmth of your skin, the gentle flutter of your eyelashes as you looked up, and he was met with the depth pool of your warm eyes.

Beautiful.

His eyes fell onto your lips, and noticed they were moving ever so slightly, and he realized that he couldn’t hear what you were saying.

All the tables had been wiped down, the chairs by the table turned upside down, laying on the tabletops. The floor still streaked with what was definitely a mop, and guilt bubbled in his stomach. You were closing up, and by the looks of it, were nearly done as well. 

Kirishima paused, he was here one minute before closing, and he froze. The heavy wooden door closing behind him with an awkwardly loud thud that only seemed to thunder in his ears as the world finally caught up.

“―anything?”

Kirishima blinked, his cheeks exploding with heat.

“What?”

He hadn’t heard you utter a single word.

He watched the way your lips pulled into an endearing, yet slightly exasperated smile, your eyes rolling.

“Did you want anything?” you repeated, hands placed on your hips in a taunting, near commanding way. “Coffee’s still on the pot, so if you want anything, let me know!”

“Did you already clean up?” Kirishima asks, his eyes falling to the floor to find the different wet streaks on the tile and avoid them if his shoe was dirty. He stops when he sees the cleaned and cleared coffee counter, and guilt floods him. “It looks like you’re mostly cleaned up; I don’t want you to get things dirty again, it’s okay.”

“It’ll take me five minutes tops to clean back up!” you retort, hands already moving to grab a to-go cup for him to have.

“No, no!” Kirishima exclaims, moving back towards the door as fast as he could. He didn’t want to cause you more work, and if anything, he would just wait for you to leave the shop, and he would simply walk you back to your apartment! That seemed like the more manly thing to do, right? “It’s okay! I’m okay! I’ll live without a cup!”

You snorted, slamming the cup onto the counter with definitive intentions, “Don’t be ridiculous, coffee addict!” you pointed to the spot before the cash register, pen in hand as you readied to write down his order. “Come. Don’t be silly! Can you turn off the open sign for me, though! What do you want?”

“I feel bad,” Kirishima frowns, turning off the neon light per request before turning back towards you. His hands stuffed into his pockets. “You don’t have to do this.”

“No, I don’t have to,” you say with a grin and a roll of your eyes. “But since I’m the reason your addiction is a thing, I’m more than happy to deal with the consequences, Kiri.”

There’s a beat, and Kirishima walks to the counter, his lower lip jutted out in a small pout, but the energetic smile painted on your lips melts his pout into a smile immediately.

“What do you suggest?”

“Café de Olla.”

His face scrunches at the so, very not Japanese words that come from your mouth.

“Cafe de la what?”

He watches your smile brighten by a tenfold, enjoying the way your eyes easily glitter with your mirth as you turn away from him.

“Café de Olla,” you repeat again, and he can only assume it’s Spanish. “It’s a Mexican coffee, that one of the transfer students we hired from Mexico introduced us to!” Kirishima watched as you went to a small pot of coffee, put a cleaned ladle in, and eventually poured in a slightly steaming cup of dark coffee. “I can’t remember the ingredients, but the main one is cinnamon! I know you like cinnamon, and since you’re a big boy black coffee drinker now, I think you’ll like it!”

Kirishima missed the teasing look on your face when you placed the truly dark coffee in front of him.

“Um,” Kirishima nervously laughed, staring at the cup of dark liquid before him. He hated black coffee. “Are you… are you gonna put any sugar or milk in it?”

“Nope! Drink up, handsome!”

Kirishima whimpered at both the nickname you had been calling him as of late and the coffee before him. Eventually, he picked up the warm cup, not at all deceived by the warm, sweet aroma of the cup of coffee in his hand ― the black coffee had smelled sweet too. Not one to back down, especially as you were in the process of cleaning up for the day, he took a hesitant, gentle sip of the coffee and froze.

Despite the bitter, dark persona the steaming cup gave, the liquid was sweet.

Very sweet.

It was light in its spice, warming him gently, and giving him a world of flavors he hadn’t been aware of. He drank the rest of it eagerly.

“Good, right?!” you exclaimed excitedly, having caught onto what Kirishima already knew to be his unmistakable likeness. “I wasn’t too sure of it at first either! I mean, I don’t really dabble with straight black coffee, but this just hits differently!”

Kirishima placed his sample down, the back of his hand rubbing his wet lips, his smile wide and excited. He couldn’t believe he actually liked a cup of coffee! “That was SO good, fuck! I didn’t think I was going to like that! Can I have a cup of this?”

He watched as you nodded your head excitedly, more stray pieces of hair falling out of place, framing your face even more as you grabbed the cup and made due to filling it up. Kirishima watched you the entire time you filled his cup up, his fingers blindly holding his bills of cash to give to you.

‘I’m going to do it,’ he thought as you placed a lid on the cup.

‘You got this!’ he encouraged himself as you walked over, handing off the warm cup into his hands. He softly smiled at the feeling of your warm, soft fingers brushing familiarly against his own.

‘DO IT!’

“Y-Y/l/n―”

“Babycakes, are you done out here?!” a voice hollered, and Kirishima stilled when a face emerged from the back. “I’m exhausted and ready to go!”

He watched as a tall girl with green eyes and brown hair emerged from the back room, her arms stretched precariously over her head, stepped into the bar. And the world slowed when her arms quickly enveloped you.

It was then that he remembered what you had said yesterday. The way that your face morphed from apologetic to bashful, the fluster in your eyes, and the way you bit your lip nervously as you said you had something to confess to him… was she… your confession?

“Ami!” you spluttered, and Kirishima watched the way the girl who was draped over your body, much taller than you were, smile at you endearingly as you, in your fluster, failed to get her off. “Kirishima ― a customer is here!”

The word customer echoed like a bell in the world's deepest cave in Kirishima’s ear.

He was just…

He was just a customer, after all.

His smile faded from a genuine one to a phony one as he watched your coworker/girlfriend fight you on showing affection, and eventually, you won. 

“S-Sorry about that!” you stammered, trying to fix your outfit, your hair chaotically was undone. His throat nearly sealed off when your pristine eyes locked back up his; he felt light under your gaze, but oh, so, cold. “You were saying?”

“Just… um, thank you!” Kirishima mustered a feeble laugh, his hand grabbing the coffee in his hand, and without so much as a goodbye, he left the coffee shop. Your echoing salutation doing nothing but making him nauseous as heartbreak overtook him.

F I V E 

The last time you had seen Kirishima, you served him the café de olla during that night, which was weeks ago.

By weeks you meant nearly two months; finals season had just finished.

Despite your obvious disappointment in not seeing the one person you were enamored with, you reasoned with yourself with every disappointing redhead who would enter the coffeeshop that you had never asked for his phone number, and he was an engineering student. He had to be busy.

Even if he wasn’t busy, you tried to reason, your brow set in a knit position as you washed the ceramic cups in the sink, he had every reason to never show back up again. He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything…

Thankfully, you heard the all too familiar sound of the front door being opened, and now with new company policy, you called out in greetings.

“Welcome!”

You quickly patted your hands dry on your apron, knowing that your coworker was on break at the moment, and turned to the entrance of the shop, and froze.

It was an all too familiar head of bright red spikes.

“Kiri!” you exclaimed happily, rushing over to the register with a bright, wide smile as you restrained yourself from flinging over the counter and hugging him tightly. Of course, that would have been both unprofessional and probably pushing the boundaries of your friendship/one-sided affections. “It’s been so long, how are you?!”

Kirishima stood on the other side of the counter, his hands shoved into his blue hoodie pocket, his eyes for the first time ever almost empty, the smile you knew he wore almost religiously, nowhere to be seen. In lieu of the smile, were lips pressed into a stout line, his face puckered just slightly enough as if he had smelled something sour moments before.

What was going on?

“You okay?” you ask, your once outstretched arms retracting into yourself, seeing that he was not reciprocating your movements. Your head tilted. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah, Ei,” came a new voice. “Is something wrong?”

You almost startled when a girl with curly, pink hair seemed to appear from behind Kirishima. She had eyes of liquid gold, and a teasing smile on her face as she nudged Kirishima. “What’s going on?”

Your stomach flips in unwelcomed jealousy, your teeth biting the inside of your cheek in hopes that the girl wouldn’t catch on.

When the seconds felt like minutes of silence, the girl merely sighed, her attention focusing onto you with a look of slight mischief.

“Please excuse my friend―” you relax with the f word― “we’ve been friends since grade school, and he’s never been like that! Maybe he caught a bug during breakfast?”

“Mina…” Kirishima spoke softly, not quite a warning, not quite a whine.

“You must be the famous ‘y/l/n,’ I’ve heard so much about you!” the girl ― Mina ― exclaimed excitedly, her hands grabbing yours while nodding excitedly. “When I heard that Ei hadn’t gone for coffee in so long, I obviously had to force him to come! That and he totally made one of our friends throw away my coffee, and I need the coffee in my bloodstream to survive my dumb classes!”

The one-sided tension between you and Mina expelled quickly.

“Kiri hasn’t been here in a while, but I’m sure he’s got his reasons,” you defend your crush, your smile soft as you traded your locked gaze on Mina to look at Kirishima, who weakly, barely, horribly returned the smile. “But I can definitely help with the coffee! What can I get for you?”

“Good question…” Mina sighed, her eyes studying the menu with practiced skill.

Eventually, Mina ordered a chai tea latte with an oat milk substitution, a pump of caramel, and two shots of espresso. She squealed with delight when you placed her order in front of her, and maybe had you not been excited to get Kiri’s answer, you would have noticed the way his friend strategically walked towards the door to give you two your space.

“So, how can I help ya, handsome?” you ask, your smile back to full power, although a bit shy, unaffected by the brick wall of a man before you. “We’re out of the café de olla right now, but if you don’t mind waiting fifteen minutes, I can make you a fresh batch!”

That’s a lie, the pot of Mexican coffee is still completely filled, ready for Kirishima should he want it. But you were selfish; you were trying to get him to stay longer.

“Nah, that’s okay,” Kirishima shakes his head. “I don’t wanna bug ya. I’ll just take a caramel latte, no worries.”

Disappointment rams through you, but you try your best at hiding it.

“Oh, okay! I’ll get that started for you!” you try to chirp, grabbing a to-go cup and beginning the relatively short task. “How’ve you been?” you ask, trying to initiate old conversations.

“Good.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear! How were your finals? Mine was terrible! I had a professor who forgot what time section we were, so not only were we given only thirty minutes to finish the exam, but there was no compensation for his mistake!”

“Wow… that sucks. Mine were fine.”

“Nothing crazy happened?”

“No.”

“Um, okay… well, did you see that the animated Crimson Riot movie is out?!” you ask, pathetically hopeful that the biggest conversation card you held right now would give you something better than these simple, halfhearted responses. The movie had had no promos, just a message from the local theaters that it had been made and to come and watch it.

“Yup.”

…

“Oh, that’s cool! I just found out this morning when my dad called me! I’m not near home, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come and watch it with me?”

You froze. Was that a date you had asked him out on? It was, wasn’t it?! Your face exploded with heat, your fingers trembling as you poured the finished hot coffee into the cup. 

“...I’d rather not.”

Oh.

“T-That’s okay! I’m sure I can find a friend or something to go watch it with me… or I’ll just wait until a holiday to see it with my dad… if it’s still out.”

“Hopefully, it’s still out by then,” Kirishima muttered, his face refusing to look at you, his eyes buried into his wallet as he handed you the change for his drink. “Thanks.” he rushed, grabbing his cup and turning on his heel.

“What’s wrong with you?” you manage to ask before you can keep your mouth shut, but you can’t help it. Your chest aches with his dismissal, with every sentence he spoke that horribly and effectively shut you down before you even had a chance. In the end, it seemed that your hurt feelings won out your need to be polite. “Did something happen? A-Are you okay? Did I do something?”

Kirishima freezes in his path.

“No, nothing happened.”

That was not the answer you were hoping to get.

“Then why are you acting like this?” you ask, your voice bordering a desperate plea for an answer.

For the past many weeks, you had never once thought that he had been avoiding you, ignoring you. You thought that maybe he had just been busy with his personal life, too busy with school and work to spare his free time entertaining you at work. But even if you were disillusioned with your admiration and feelings for him, you knew the two of you were friends. You had to have been friends!

Silence.

“What’s going on?” you ask again, your voice feeling small and weak.

“Nothing,” Kirishima reiterates, his head turning so you both looked at each other through the corner of his eyes. “Nothing happened, I just… couldn’t show up.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like being around you, not anymore.”

Those words wash over you like freezing water; they’re harsh, cruel, and mean. His face twisting up as if he was some snarling, upset animal. He didn’t want to be here, his face screamed, he felt like some cornered, caged animal.

Muted anger and heartache wash over you, your head nodding numbly as you laugh humorlessly. You had been the problem.

“Sorry for… for making you feel obligated in showing up,” you whisper, your soul feeling as though it was leaving your body, your face twisted in the horribleness in his words.

I don’t like being around you, not anymore.

He wasn’t even apologizing… he’d meant it… didn’t he?

Kirishima moves to walk away, his eyes glazed over similarly to your own, but you’re not done. Not quite yet.

“You know,” you manage to speak out, your voice starting off paltrily, an almost chuckle tickling the back of your throat, humming deeply in your chest. He stops. “This entire time, you always boasted about being ‘manly’… about being chivalrous and a decent human being. For the most part, I’ve always agreed and thought that you were manly, chivalrous, and a more than decent human being but now… I can’t believe you. You really came all this way after two months of avoiding me to tell me that you would never be showing up again? That the reason for you not returning was because you’re sick of me?”

He’s silent for a bit, and it's then you notice the tears falling down your face, “Thought it was manlier to tell you I wasn’t coming back then to stop showing up without a reason.”

“You already did that!” you snapped, suddenly piercing, thundering anger running through every cell of your body, raising the hair on your body. “You’re being a complete fucking dick now, Kirishima! For what? At least before I thought it was because you’re busy, but no, you just had to tell me it was because of me! Oh my god?! To think I have a crush on you?! That I was ready to confess to you the next fucking time we had a moment together?!”

You felt hysterical, his reasoning jumbling and twisting in your mind, not at all feeling coherent, and your blazing feelings that were now biting you in the ass… you wanted to make him feel guilt most of all. With tears falling bitterly, angrily down your face, you stared at Kirishima. He was finally facing you, looking you dead on with emotion-filled eyes and a gaping fish mouth ― opening and closing pathetically.

“Get out,” you spoke with a serenity you were not quite feeling, your finger thrust toward the front door.

“Y-Y/l/n―”

“I don’t want to hear it,” you laugh bitterly, no longer wanting to have whatever it is that he wanted to say.

He was just a customer, not a friend, only a customer.

You didn’t need to be his friend anymore.

“Get. Out. Now.”

You didn’t wait for him to leave, turning on your heel, you walked to the backroom, not daring to return to the front until he left.

You’d forgotten how much rejection hurt.

O N E 

Whoever said heartbreak was healed with a wild night out, a pint of ice cream and crying had clearly been built differently from you.

One wild night out with your friends, two pints of ice cream, and thirty crying sessions later, you were still sulking as you simply existed. You weren’t even sure why you were overreacting either?! He had been a crush, not a boyfriend!

Lord save you for whenever an actual reciprocated lover dumped you, you were probably never going to recover. Still, you couldn’t let it affect you all that much; you were still going about your day as you usually would, just… sulking.

“You’re a blessing in my life,” your coworker sighed as she came out from the back, her hands moving to release her hair from her bun, her purse slung against her chest as she continued to thank you. “I promise you the next time we work together, I’ll clean up on my own!”

You shake your head, waving her off as you dried some of the dishes lying about. 

“We aren’t busy, and there’s no one here, I’ll clean up just fine!” you laugh, glancing over your shoulder to look at her. “Just buy me a pastry tomorrow or something. I’ve closed on my own many times, I’ll be fine! There's no coffee demand this late at night anyway!”

“Fine! I won’t forget! But don’t complain if there’s more than one pastry!”

“Oh my god, LEAVE!” you yell, blindly pointing at the door for her to leave, and you hear her resounding laughter as she finally does go.

“Oops, sorry, welcome and excuse me!” you hear her exclaim as she steps out, and you turn around, already knowing that it’s a customer.

Taking your coworkers' welcome as the company greeting, you merely shouted out that you’d be right with them as you finished washing ― you were almost done with them anyways. Finally done, you turned around, eyes on your thighs as you dried your hands on your apron.

“Alright, how can I help…” you froze when you caught sight of familiar, warm red eyes. “...you.”

Kirishima.

He looked at you with blushing, puffed cheeks, his eyes full of mixing, swirling emotions that you probably couldn’t handle to hear (especially if he had come to yell at you). You don’t know what to do, merely looking at him before sighing.

“The usual?” you ask, moving to get things as smoothly and effortlessly as you could (you had been yelled at for your emotional outburst by your boss).

“Uh, actually, no. I’m okay,” Kirishima spoke up as soon as you pulled out a paper cup, and you stopped, looking at him with your best attempt at dull, emotionless eyes.

“What can I get for you then?” you try again, hating the way that you want to smile at him, to pretend that nothing happened two weeks ago; that this was his first time back.

“I have to confess something,” Kirishima states, his fingers fisting into his ridiculous mismatched athleisure clothing. “I actually really, really, really hate coffee…”

You blinked.

You hadn’t expected that confession.

“Um, okay? Well, then can I make you some―”

“I’m not quite done, sorry,” Kirishima apologized, his hand rubbing the back of his neck in his embarrassment. “I hate coffee, and I don’t like being dishonest, but really, I feel like I’ve been lying to you this entire time.”

“...what?”

“I told you at some point that I had come into this shop by coincidence, but that’s not true! I’ve been passing by for months before stepping foot into here! I had always seen you working through the front window, and you just… you captivated me from that very moment, but I’ve been too weak, nervous, and totally unmanly and could never build up the courage to come in! It took me a year to build up the courage to come in ― which is why I nearly broke the front door that first day! I was so nervous about messing up; I just overexerted my strength!”

Kirishima laughed, his hands raking through his spiked hair, and you could only stare at him as the gelled hair began to fall under his ministrations.

“See, the truth is, I’ve liked you for a long time. Like a long time. And then, when I came in, and we became friends, I only fell for you even more, and I’ve been trying to work up the courage to confess to you! But every time I tried, something bad happened! Like the grouchy old man in the line, how you got sick and couldn’t work! But a true man doesn’t give up until it’s over… and I thought that girl who was hugging you and kissing your cheek that one day was your girlfriend, so I gave up! But the thing is, I was a coward, so fucking unmanly that I couldn’t be around you without you being mine! And so I left because it hurt… but it hurt not being around you, so Mina brought me here! But then you said… you said you liked me back, and unless you’re in a polyamorous relationship, there’s no way for you to have said feelings and confess them to me like that!”

He stopped, his breath frantic, panting, and you could only look up with him with a mirrored breathing pattern despite your quietness.

“I’m here because I’m tired of being weak and unmanly. I’m here because I have deep feelings for you, and I want to ask you out!”

You’re silent for a bit, the temerity of his words loud and clear in your ears, ringing with the need to be addressed. For the first time since he had walked out of your life for the first time, a warmth bubbled in your chest.

“You know,” you whisper, your eyes locked with his, the tears in your eyes freely showing. “This coffee shop does, in fact, have tea?”

“Wha―?”

He doesn’t have the chance to finish the curious ask, your hands grabbing his shirt and bringing him close, his nose brushing against yours but your lips hovering below his own.

“Can I kiss you?” you whisper, your eyes falling to his lips for a second before coming back to his eyes that shone brightly, vividly, excitedly.

“Please?”

Your lips found themselves pressed against his, and the two of you stood there, leaning against the counter by the cash register. Lips passionately, smoothly, deeply pressing against one another as electricity traveled slowly down your spine as his hands pressed against your ribcage. When you pulled away, his eyes fluttered open after yours, and he had the brightest, dumbest smile on his face.

“Would you like to go see the Crimson Riot movie with me?”

[doc-pickles]

half a heart (without you)

Jo gets some unexpected news and the only person she can think to turn to is her ex husband.

hi friends, i don't have any coherent thoughts. this was a crack fic that I managed to write during our massive heat wave. s/o to mac as well for helping me out with this one. you're the best.

also, sorry I haven't updated lately I was busy birthing a human.

xoxo nina

“Okay Jo, everything looks good on the ultrasound but-“

“But what? My kid has three arms? Missing a foot? Won’t survive outside of the womb?”

Sitting up from her spot on the exam table Jo eyed Carina warily. Her 20 week appointment had come up quicker than she’d anticipated, leaving her no time to worry about the many things that could be wrong with her baby. Now though, her mind was spinning into overdrive.

“Calm down, your bambino is fine,” Carina placed her hand on top of Jo’s as she spoke. “I just noticed a small irregularity in his heart, I want to schedule a follow up appointment next week with a fetal cardiologist.”

“What kind of irregularity? Like a hole in his heart? Does he have a ventricular septal defect? Is his heart underdeveloped?”

“Relax, Jo. You need to stay calm for your little one,” Carina gave Jo a small smile, attempting to comfort her but not doing much for her own racing heart. “I’m not entirely sure if it is even something to worry about. Do you have any family history of heart issues?”

The question made Jo pause for a moment, jaw slack and eyes wide as her mind blanked. She clearly didn’t know her own family health history, but she also had no clue if there was anything on her child’s paternal side that she needed to be worried about. She’d been convinced that she could do this whole parenting thing on her own but now she was scared out of her mind and absolutely clueless on what to do next.

“Umm… I don’t think so? I don’t know,” Jo finally met Carina’s gaze again, the all too familiar pitying gaze boring into her. “I’ll check… Thanks, Carina.”

Before the other woman can say anything to her, Jo is grabbing her jacket and practically sprinting out the exam room door. Her eyes are watering as she finds an on-call room and quickly barricades herself inside.

“Oh god,” Jo pressed her hand to her small baby bump as she attempted to take deep breaths. It didn’t help though, her anxious mind spinning out as she walked forward and sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t do this… I can’t do this.”

Before she lost all of her senses Jo pulled her phone out, not even stopping long enough to second guess herself as she dialed the all too familiar number.

“Hello? Jo?”

“Do you have a family history of cardiac issues?”

“What? Are you crying,” Alex paused to listen to Jo who was still struggling to catch her breath. “Jo, what’s going on?”

“Cardiac problems! Do you have a family history or not?”

“You called me to ask about cardiology?”

“Damn it, Alex,” Jo made no effort to conceal her emotions anymore, openly sobbing now. “Do you think I would just call you and ask about this for no reason?”

“Okay, okay. Just take a breath,” Alex waited for Jo to calm down a bit before continuing. “My mom has high blood pressure but that’s about it. Oh, and I have a heart arrhythmia.”

“Are you kidding me right now?!”

“No, Cristina almost killed me once and I found out I have a slight arrhythmia. Now, will you tell me what’s going on? You’re starting to freak me out,” when Jo didn’t respond to him, Alex let a sigh out, calming his tone down as he spoke. “Jo, will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Jo sniffled, wiping at her eyes before settling her hand against her belly again, “I had a doctor's appointment today. With Carina.”

“Oh… Oh ,” Alex sucked in a breath across the line and Jo could almost see his facial expression falling as he realized exactly what she was telling him. “Are you okay? Is..”

“I don’t know,” Jo tried to hold off on crying even more, but her emotions finally got the best of her as she said out loud what she’d been fearing for the last fifteen minutes. “I don’t know, she said she saw an irregularity on my ultrasound but she doesn’t know and I’m really freaking out right now.”

Jo hated that this was how Alex had to find out about their baby, while she was in the middle of a panic attack worrying whether or not their son would be okay. She always planned on telling him but she hadn’t found the courage to pick up the phone yet. However, as soon as Carina had said something might be wrong all Jo wanted was Alex and the sense of comfort he brought her.

“Hey it’s gonna be okay, everything is going to be fine,” Alex’s calming tone helped her heart to calm a bit, but her chest still heaved as she struggled to catch her breath. “It’s gonna be okay Jo. Let me make some calls and see what I can do, okay?”

“Okay.”

Alex had texted her not even an hour after they had hung up, letting her know that he was flying into Seattle two days later. He’d told her not to worry, that he’d get a taxi back to the loft, but her anxiety had been on high alert since her appointment and now she found herself standing in the arrivals terminal bouncing on her heels as her heart beat unsteadily in her chest.

She hadn’t seen Alex in almost five months, the last time she’d seen him they were a floor up as she dropped him off and kissed him goodbye. The thought makes her stomach turn unpleasantly, but she tamps the feeling down as she feels a different sensation. Her hand dropped to her belly, pressing down as the baby below her skin pushed up against her hand. The constant movements kept her mind at ease, telling herself that as long as her son kept moving around, he would be alright.

“Jo.”

She’s snapped out of her thoughts by an all too familiar voice, her gaze moving from her belly up to Alex as he stands across from her, still a good 50 feet away. His eyes dart from hers down to her protruding belly and then back up to her face. It takes her all of two seconds to dart forward and into Alex’s arms, pressing her face against his chest as his arms wrapped around her.

“Hey, we’re gonna be fine, it’s okay,” Jo hadn’t realized she was crying until Alex’s hand rubbed against her back, prompting her to take deeper breaths as she reigned in her emotions. “I’m here now and we’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

+

“My appointment is tomorrow Alex, I don’t need you fussing over me for 12 hours until then,” Jo laid herself out across the couch, watching as Alex kicked his shoes off by the door before sitting on the other end of the couch and moving her feet into his lap. “He’s been moving around all day, I think he’s fine.”

“Will you just let me check? I do tons of fetal consults, I’m used to it,” Alex stared down at her with a frown. “It would make me feel better.”

Jo let out a sigh as she grabbed the hem of her shirt, reaching for Alex’s hand and pressing it against her belly where their son was moving around, “Does that make you feel better?”

Looking up from her belly Jo let a small grin form on her face as she saw the tears welling in Alex’s eyes. She truly was going to tell him, she knew how important being there from the beginning of their child’s life would be for him. For weeks though every time, she thought about telling him fear stopped her. Fear of him rejecting her, of him not wanting anything to do with her or their child, of him taking their son. All of those fears seemed to vanish though when she was faced with the very real fear that her, their, son was in danger. Once that idea was planted in her head, all Jo wanted was to talk to Alex and tell him everything he’d missed.

“He’s gonna be fine, whatever happens tomorrow he’s going to be okay,” Alex finally looked away from where his hand laid on Jo’s stomach only to find her already staring down at him. “I’m sorry I missed so much and that you had to go through that alone. But I swear I’m not going anywhere now.”

“Alex-”

“I mean it. How am I supposed to leave again when you two are here,” as if proving his point a kick sounded against his hand prompting Jo to place her own hand over his. “I can’t do that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I left and something happened again.”

She knew there was more they needed to say, more that they would have to talk about including how he’d left her before. But for now, Jo was content in laying where she was as Alex talked to their son, his fingers brushing across her bare skin as he tracked his movements.

+

True to Alex’s word, everything does end up being okay for them. Five months after he comes back to Seattle Jo is cradling their son against her chest, the little boy letting out small cries as he adjusts to being in the world.

“See? I told you he’d be perfectly fine,” Alex pressed a kiss into Jo’s hair before leaning down to press one against the tufts of dark hair on their son’s head. “Liam just knew that if he was a little dramatic he’d get me home sooner.”

Jo couldn’t help the chuckle that left her as she looked down at Liam. Even if she had been scared out of her mind, she knew that she would go through everything in the past nine months all over again if it meant that she had her son and her husband by her side.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Heyo! 💖I just wanted to say that I completely ADORE your works and I was wondering if you could maybe give us some dad!Witcher reactions to when the reader goes into labor? Totally up to you, only if you want to and if your comfortable with this!☺️ again, I love your work so much and I really love seeing the boys being included in amazing fics and hcs💕

A/N: This has also been sitting in my box for a while, and many people have asked about this, so I’m glad it’s finally done. You can all thank @pressedinthepages for helping me out with Geralt cause he’s the reason y’all haven’t gotten this sooner. Thank you again baby!!!

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, labor, pregnant lady going into labor but not the actual birth part, just labor pains and water breaking :)

***

Lambert 

You sucked in a sharp breath, your hand coming to hold your side. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Lambert sat up in his chair, brows drawing together as he looked across the table at you.

“I-I’m okay.” You told him, rubbing your ribcage. “The baby just kicked me.”

“Doesn’t seem like they’ve stopped moving at all today.” Ciri commented. She sat next to you, talking to you about different names for your unborn child. 

“They haven’t. I think they’ve gotten too big. There isn’t enough room in there for the little thing.” You rubbed the side of your stomach. “Anytime they stretch, they bruise one of my organs.”

You started to stand up, needing to stretch your legs. 

“Where are you going?” Lambert followed you with his gaze. 

“Just for a little walk.”

“Thought you couldn’t walk too far ‘cause your ankles hurt.”

“They do, but sitting hasn’t helped my back at all. It's making my legs hurt even more.”

Lambert stood to his feet, a mug of ale in one hand, and moved to your side. 

“The baby needs room to move. They can’t do that if I’m sitting down.”

He placed his free hand on the small of your back, offering what little support he could. 

“They need to get a move on and get here soon.” Lambert thought out loud. He used his shoulder to push open a door that would take you out to the courtyard. 

“Can’t rush a pregnancy, love.” You sighed gently, though you agreed with him.

“Just don’t like seeing you hurting knowing I can’t do anything to make it better.”

“I’ll be okay.” You looked over to him to meet his gaze, offering him a little smile. 

“But what if you aren't?” He stopped, his hand slipping from your back to your hand. “What if…. What if you don't make it through this? Through having the baby? What if…. I-I’ve heard stories-,”

“Lambert, I’m giving birth to our child here at Kaer Morhen with Yennefer and Triss. Should anything happen, I trust them to do what's needed to save both myself and the baby. So stop with all that nonsense.” 

Lambert nodded, knowing what you said was true. The safest place you could possibly be was Kaer Morhen where some of the best mages in the world were. 

“I just can't help worrying.” The witcher muttered shyly, putting his hand on your back once more to lead you through the courtyard. 

“I know.” You smiled softly. It was a rare sight to see the young witcher look so anxious and worrisome. “You’ve been worrying a lot recently.”

“‘Cause I know you're getting closer to having the baby. We’re…. I'm gonna be a father.” He shook his head like the mere thought was too good to be true. “Don't want to turn out like my old man. Damn bastard wasn't worth shit.”

“You'd never be like him, Lambert.” You assured him, looking over to admire his side profile. “You're too kind of a man.”

He scoffed. 

“Don't hurt my feelings like that, bug.” 

You grinned. 

“Besides, if you need to be put in your place, Eskel and Geralt would gladly kick your ass. Though I know it will never be needed.”

“What about us kicking Lambert’s ass?” Geralt asked as he and Eskel moved towards you two. 

“Y/N said she doesn't think you two could beat me.”

You elbowed Lambert in the side. 

“How are you feeling today, Y/N?” Eskel asked you. 

“Not too great, if I'm honest. Though today it doesn't feel like a rib has been kicked out of place.”

The three boys began to chat about something Vesemir was asking them to work on together. It was a fallen wall on the west side of the keep. 

You weren't paying too much attention, shifting your weight from one foot to the other every now and again. You slipped your arm around Lambert’s holding the inside of his elbow. You didn't want to just excuse yourself and walk away. Lambert would follow you and not even finish talking to Eskel and Geralt. You figured you could endure standing just a little longer. 

But then the pain between your hips sharpened and took your breath away. Your grip on Lambert tightened. There was a wetness between your legs that made you furrow your brows.

“Oh gods.” You whispered. 

“What?” Eskel asked you. Lambert was in the middle of taking a sip of his ale and hadn't had the chance to ask first. 

“I think the baby’s coming.”

The father-to-be choked on his ale, coughing and sputtering. He hit his fist against his chest, struggling to speak. 

“What?!”

“I’m going into labor, Lambert.” 

“The fuck you are.” His voice nearly cracked. 

“Eskel, give me a hand, please.” You weren't too sure how Lambert would react so you needed someone you knew wouldn't freak out. 

Eskel moved to your side, holding his arm out to allow you to use him for support. Lambert remained on the other side of you, one hand on your lower back and the other on your arm. His ale had been discarded, no longer important to the witcher. 

“How-How do you-I mean, how do you know they’re coming?” Lambert stumbled over his words worse than you'd ever seen. 

“I do believe my water just broke, love.” You met his gaze, smiling softly. Though you wanted to scream and curse at the gods for the pain you were feeling, you needed to stay calm for him. 

With Eskel’s help, Lambert’s rambling promises that everything would be okay, and Geralt’s moral support from right behind you, you were able to make it to the room designated for this very occasion. You knew it would be wise to have a room on the main level just in case you weren't up in your room when the time came to deliver. 

Geralt went to gather Yennefer and Triss while you carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. Eskel went to stand just outside of the doorway so that he was far enough away to give you both some privacy but close enough that if you needed anything, he'd be there. 

“Should-Should you lay back?” Lambert asked you, brushing your hair back out of your face. 

“No, love. I’m fine. I’m-I’m fine.” Your voice cracked as you softly shook your head, tears filling your eyes and blurring your vision. 

“Why are you crying? Are-Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Is something wro-,”

“Lambert, I love you but please breathe.” 

“I am breathing! Are you breathing?”

Your head fell forward, hands gripping your knees as the tears left your eyes. A surge of pain tore through your pelvis. 

Lambert saw the way your strong facade was crumbling. He needed to be strong for you. He needed to swallow his fears and be there for you. You were doing all of the hard work. He was just there to watch and encourage you. He had no right to freak out. 

It took the witcher a few minutes to gather himself, to tell himself over and over that you would be okay. Then he was able to elevate his heartbeat and focus on you. 

“Hey, hey, bug.” His tone softened. He turned your head to him, his thumb stroking your flushed cheek. “I'm right here, okay?”

“Lambert, it-it hurts.” You whispered, turning your head to bury your face in his neck. 

“I know, bug. ‘M sorry.” He rubbed your back, pressing kisses to the side of your head the best he could. “But you know what?” 

He pulled back and you had no choice but to pull your head away from him. 

“If there is anyone here in this keep that could do this, that could go through this, it's you.”

“That's-That’s not true.” You shook your head. “You-You’re strong. You survived the trials. You're a witcher for crying out loud!”

“And he's the biggest cry baby you’ll ever see.” Geralt spoke from the doorway. You smiled a little, wiping your cheeks. 

“That’s debatable.” Lambert muttered. 

Triss and Yennefer entered the room. Yennefer stayed off to the side while Triss came to you. Yenn was there for backup if Triss needed it. 

“You ready for this, bug?” Lambert asked you, rubbing your knee. 

You bit your bottom lip, nodding your head. 

Eskel 

You slammed one of the cabinets in the kitchen shut and turned to gather the rest of the clean dishes from the woven basket on the table. 

“Y/N, you really should let someone else take care of that.” Eskel said. 

“No one else knows how to put them away the right way.” You told him. There was no kindness in your voice, no peaceful tone to your words. You sounded bitter and angry. 

“I don’t think there’s really any wrong way to put away dishes.” Lambert thought out loud. 

“And that’s exactly why I’m putting them away.” 

“Y/N, let me help-,”

“No!” You cut Eskel off, turning to face him. “Just let me do this! Let me put these away so they are done right.”

Eskel stopped walking towards you, brows drawn together. 

“Eskel.” Geralt said his brother’s name and beckoned for Eskel to join him and Lambert at the table. 

Eskel looked back at you once more before going to his brothers. He sat down next to Geralt, arms resting on the table.

“What is up her ass?” Lambert whispered low enough so you couldn’t hear. 

“I don’t know.” Eskel shook his head, eyes finding you. “She’s been like this since she woke up.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s made the whole keep feel like hell today.”

“Is something wrong with her?” Geralt asked. 

“She won’t tell me if anything is wrong. She’s just been an entirely different person all day.”

The witchers fell silent as Jaskier entered the room. 

“Good evening, Y/N!” The bard chirped. 

You were reaching a shelf that was probably a little too high up for you, so he decided to offer a hand. 

“Let me help you, darling-,”

“Fuck off, bard!” You snapped at him, placing the plate down on the counter with enough force to nearly break it. “Just-Just leave me alone! What is with you men not understanding a gods damned word coming out of my mouth today?”

You stormed across the room, jaw locked and eyes set on the door you wanted to leave through. Well, to say you stormed through was a little bit of an exaggeration. With your enormous pregnant belly, the most you could do was angrily waddle.

The witchers and the bard watched you leave the room, the door slamming shut behind you.

“That was absolutely terrifying.” Jaskier put his hand over his heart. “What did I say to make her so explosive?”

“It’s not you, Jaskier.” Eskel shook his head, pushing himself to his feet. “I’m sorry about that. She’s…. She’s never like this.”

“I’ve faced bloodthirsty alps and I can honestly say I’d rather deal with them than an angry Y/N.” Lambert shook his head. “Good luck, brother.”

Eskel felt as though he’d need more than luck to deal with you. 

He found you in the courtyard, resting on a stool by the goats’ enclosure. Your legs were parted and you braced your hands on your knees. Your eyes were closed tightly. 

“Are you okay, doll?” 

You didn’t answer him. This worried the witcher. He moved to kneel down in front of you. His hand slipped around your stomach, holding you tenderly.

“Y/N, my love, please answer me.” He begged quietly, brows drawn together. 

Your eyes opened, glossy and red. You shook your head gently. You knew that if you spoke, you’d lose what control you had over the situation. 

“Please, Y/N. Just-Just tell me what’s wrong.” Eskel reached up to brush a few pieces of hair out of your eyes. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head, pulling his hand away from your face. You rubbed your face and tried to stand up but he wouldn’t let you. 

“It’s obviously not nothing. You’ve been acting weird all morning. Is everything okay with you? With the baby?”

“I’m fine, Eskel.” You spoke through your teeth as a surge of pain drove through your hips. You removed his hand from your stomach, his touch burning in a way that made the pain worse. 

“No, you aren’t. You’ve been avoiding me all day, Y/N, and-and you’ve been mad at everyone who talks to you.” He placed his hands on his thighs, feeling hurt that you’d push his hand off of you. So many thoughts ran through his mind and his stomach churned. Why had you pushed him away? Why were you avoiding him? Why were you angry at him and at everyone else?

“Did I do something?” His voice was weak and timid.

“No, Eskel.” You shook your head, rubbing your eyes once more.

“Then please, Y/N.” He begged, heart racing in his chest. “Please just tell me what is wrong so I can make it better. I-I-I feel so helpless. You’re angry and you’ve been harsh with everyone. You’ve never raised your voice at me, let alone the others. Something is wrong, Y/N, and I-I can’t leave you alone until you tell me what it is.”

Your head hung and your eyes squeezed shut tightly. He could hear how furiously your heart was pounding. Tears fell from your eyes as you brought your hands up to cover your face. You shook your head.

“I-I can’t- Eskel, I can’t do this. Everything hurts so bad.” You cried, finally leaning forward to rest your head on his shoulder.

“What hurts, my love?” He pressed kisses to the side of your head, one hand coming up to embrace you in a careful hug while the other rubbed the outside of your thigh. 

“I’m so scared, Eskel. I-I can’t-I can’t do this. I can’t.” Your tears dampened his neck but he didn’t mind. Your breath was hot and your fingers dug into him so tightly he thought for sure he’d have bruises. 

“You have to explain to me what is hurting, doll.” He pulled away just enough to cup your face and brush his thumbs over your flushed cheeks. “If I don’t know what’s wrong, I can’t help you.”

“I-I’m-I’m sorry I’ve been so angry and so mean.” You leaned into his touch. “The baby- It’s coming.”

Eskel’s brows drew together and he looked down at your stomach for a moment.

“What?”

“My-My water broke this morning.” You shook your head. “But I-I-I can’t do this, Eskel! I can’t do this! I’m-I’m so scared! I can’t!”

“Y/N, look at me.” He held your face between his large hands, tilting your head up so you had no choice but to look at him. “Why didn’t you let me know when it happened? You’ve been moving around so much today. You should’ve been sitting down and resting until the baby comes.”

“I can’t do it, Eskel.”

“Yes, you can.” 

Even though you were freaking out and crying, he was calm. He took your hand in his and tucked your hand underneath the neck of his shirt. He placed your hand directly over his heart and applied a little pressure, wanting you to feel his heart beating steadily.

“You need to calm down, doll.” His voice was gentle and tender, matching his eyes and his touch. “Everything will be okay. I know you’re hurting right now but it will be over soon. Okay?”

You nodded. He leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips and then your forehead. 

“Let’s get you inside and to a bed.” He stood to his feet and held his arm out for you.

Geralt

You shivered a little, pulling one of the numerous cloaks you wore tighter around your body. 

“Are you cold, dove?” He asked, his hand immediately finding the small of your back. 

“Just my nose.” You explained. “The wind is terrible today.”

You had wanted to go on a walk around the grounds of the keep, feeling the need to stretch your legs. You walked alongside him, your arms weaved together. 

“Do you need my cloak?” Geralt asked, starting to take his off. 

“No, no, Geralt.” You shook your head, almost laughing at him. “I’ve got plenty of layers on. I don’t need anymore.”

The White Wolf had made sure you were wearing at least six layers before you both ventured outside. You were sure you had on one of his cloaks and maybe even Lambert’s or Eskel’s. You didn’t mind though. The cloaks were nice and cozy, and they smelled like Geralt, all musk and fire and steel.

Geralt’s arm slipped out of yours so he could go down the steps first. He held his hand out for you, eyes carefully watching your footing to make sure you wouldn’t fall down the four stone steps. 

“Why thank you, good sir.” You grinned just a little, placing your hand in his. 

“My pleasure.” His grin was a little less prominent than yours, but it still warmed your heart. 

You began to lead the way to the little area the goats were kept. You wanted to check on them and make sure they’d be warm enough for the evening.

Before you could reach the goat enclosure, a sudden wave of heat came over you. You stopped walking and started desperately tearing at the cloaks in an attempt to take them off. 

“Y/N?” Geralt furrowed his brows together. “What are you doing?”

“I’m-I’m just too hot.” You handed him the top cloak and then the next one. 

“It’s far too cold for you to be in such little-,”

“Geralt, I am too hot for all those layers.” You told him firmly. Your heart started racing and a thin layer of sweat covered your skin. With the wind, this chilled you but at the same time, you felt like you were on fire. 

You were down to your last cloak when you finally felt a little comfortable. The wind shifted and suddenly Geralt knew what was happening. He could sense the changes in your body, the chemical ones no one else would have been able to detect. 

“Are you hurting?” He asked, furrowing his brows together. 

Before you had a chance to answer him, you sucked in a sharp breath and put your hand on the side of your stomach. It was as if your body had waited for the perfect moment to start having contractions. 

“We need to get you to the bedroom.” Geralt spoke mostly to himself. He handed you the cloaks and then, before you could object, he very carefully picked you up bridal style. 

***

Geralt placed you carefully down on the bed. 

You stayed sitting up, one leg hanging off while the other was bent. Your head hung as you tried to focus on your breathing, to listen to what your body was telling you. 

The pressure between your hips didn’t seem to be growing, but it was there and it was bothersome. 

You looked up to see where your dear husband had gone. 

He was moving around the room almost frantically. He checked the windows to make sure there wasn’t a draft coming in. He checked all of the candles lit around the room for when the sun went down. He didn’t want them to run out and leave him in the dark with you in labor. He could see just fine without light, but you wouldn’t be able to see. He checked the chest at the foot of the bed to make sure clean blankets and linens were there should they be needed. 

As he was moving across the room to check the fire in the hearth, you called his name. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face you. 

Your eyes were squeezed shut and you were leaning forward, one hand on the bed in front of you and the other on your stomach. 

“Y/N?” He wanted to move towards you but his boots seemed stuck to the wooden floor beneath him. 

You didn’t realize until then that his eyes were glossy and he was fighting back tears. 

“Why are you crying, my love?”

He looked away from you for a moment, trying to gain control of his emotions. 

“I don’t like seeing you in pain.” He explained, clearing his throat. “I-I’m the reason why you’re hurting and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it.”

Your heart melted hearing him sound so upset and concerned. 

“Oh, Geralt.” You murmured his name. “Come here. Come sit with me. Please.”

Geralt didn’t hesitate to move to your side. Before getting on to the bed, he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. The mattress dipped beneath his weight behind you. 

“Lean on me, dove.” He kissed the side of your head, his hands slipping around your sides. 

You sunk back against him, eyes fluttering shut as the pain seemed to ease up. The new position didn’t put so much pressure on your back. 

His hands, large and warm, rubbed the sides of your stomach. He tucked his nose into your hair, eyes closing as he breathed in and out, listening to your heartbeat and the one inside of you. 

Whenever a contraction came around, you’d tense up and he’d rub your stomach. He’d whisper in your ear how strong you were, how much he loved you, and how happy he was. 

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, you spoke. 

“Geralt? Tell me a story.” You rubbed his hand that rested on your stomach. 

“What kind of story?”

“Of your time with Jaskier before I met you. I miss him, Geralt.”

“I know.” Geralt kept his lips against the side of your head. “He’ll be here soon.”

Geralt began to tell you of one of the many times Jaskier was the reason they were run out of town. He’d pause for a moment when a contraction came, hesitating to make sure you were okay. 

It killed him that there wasn’t anything he could do to stop the pain or lessen it. This had to happen. Yes, it wasn’t fun and yes, he felt so useless, but soon, his child would be in his arms with you at his side. 

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite @crazybutconfidentaf @runawayolives @she-wolfoftheinquisition @onlygeraltofrivia  

[gumnut-logic]

The world was blurry as he let his head slide on one hand and stared out through the kitchen window. Gordon was in the pool, swimming his morning laps. The sun had yet to rise and Virgil had broken several laws of physics rising himself. This time of day should not exist. But then it didn’t, because it wasn’t day yet because there was no sun!

But no, supersonic big brother wanted to do some special training today. Training that for some reason had been scheduled at sunrise.

It was possibly important, likely scheduled just to get his ass out of bed at this godawful hour. Occasionally there were some issues with having your brother in command. Brotherly love only went so far, brotherly snark had more mileage, and Scott did have that twist of his lips when he announced the schedule.

Four pairs of eyes had immediately turned to him and his return glare had been insufficient to deflect the amusement that followed.

But it was okay. It was fine. He had his own skill drills up his sleeve. Two am would be convenient for him next time, definitely. After all, they all had to keep their skill sets up, didn’t they?

In the meantime, it was black coffee and repeated attempts to focus on Mateo. Mateo was distinctly blurry, and dark and...

“Hey, Virg!” Alan whacked him on the back.

His face nearly ended up in his coffee. “Alan? What the hell?”

“And good morning to you, too, big bro. Ready for this morning’s run?”

He stared at his bright and peppy, yes, peppy, youngest brother. Augh. “Go away.”

“Aww, did the big bear have to get out of bed a little early?”

“Alan...”

“C’mon, Virg, it’s gonna be fun. A race around the island, wind in your hair, blood pumping...it’s gonna be awesome.”

Virgil stared at him, his brain slowly picking up that something wasn’t quite right. “Alan, why aren’t you comatose?”

“What do you mean, big bro?”

A slow blink. “You hate mornings almost as much as I do. Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?” His eyelids drooped all of their own volition.

“It’s called prepared, bro. I’m in it to win it.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. “Are you on something? Because if you are, Scott’s going to kill you, and once I’m awake, I’ll resuscitate you so I can kill you again.”

“That’s violence, bro. It’s cool, I promise.”

An arched eyebrow that almost hurt. “What did you do, Alan?”

“Nothing. Well, nothing you aren’t already doing.”

“You drank coffee.”

“Noooooooo.”

“What did you do?”

“A little caffeine is all.”

The arched eyebrow flipped into a frown. “How much?”

“Enough.”

Virgil’s back straightened. “Alan.”

“I’m fine, bro, I promise. I know what I’m doing. I’m not stupid.” A blond frown. “Besides, it’s not like you don’t do the same with your coffee after coffee after coffee technique.”

Virgil’s lips thinned, but to be honest, the kid was right, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. But... “You’re not yet an adult, Alan.”

“Yet, I take the responsibilities of an adult, Virgil.”

“Your body isn’t fully mature!”

“Well, thanks for that, Doctor Virgil!”

“You have to look after yourself!”

“Hard to do anything else when I have four brothers mother-henning me all the time!”

“We worry about you!”

“Well, don’t! I can look after myself.”

“Alan!”

“Virgil!”

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?!”

Virgil found himself looming over his little brother, one brain cell after another slowly catching up with what the hell was going on. Bright blue eyes were staring up at him defiantly, his little brother’s shoulders tight and fists clenched at his sides.

Virgil forced his own fists to uncurl. There was a reason why he preferred not to see this time of day. Disturbed sleep disturbed his calm, his control, and things like this happened.

Scott loomed over the both of them and Virgil took a step back, slumping back onto his seat and hulking over his coffee almost in a pout. “Better ask Alan, he’s the one being stupid.”

“Speak for yourself, Virgil.”

“Both of you, shut it.” Scott could glare with the best of them, but Virgil had exhausted what little energy he had and ignored him. “Alan, dosed himself with caffeine.”

“Virgil!”

He could feel the laserbeams shooting out of Scott’s eyes switching targets and landing on Alan. There was no satisfaction, just blergh. Here we go.

And sure enough, Scott started in on his little brother. There was, of course, shouting. Virgil idly wondered how come Scott got to yell and he didn’t. But then Virgil didn’t really like yelling anyway.

Coffee. Its warmth drifted down his throat and spread into his bones. Oh god, he needed it. Maybe a second one after this? But then the word ‘caffeine’ came up amongst the explosions beside him and he reconsidered. No need to become a target himself.

He let his foggy mind drift a little. It was all his fault really. He could have gone to bed early, but he had made the mistake of getting into a discussion online with an engineering idiot. The topic had become heated, chemical formulas launched like bombs and laced with reactive equations enough to take out half the engineering community. In the end, he’d thrown a hissy fit and sat up to three am writing up his argument. He’d chucked it onto his blog with a great deal of satisfaction and was looking forward to rubbing it in the man’s face.

Just as soon as he could boot his brain.

Coffee, give me strength.

Gordon wandered in at some point, a damp towel around his neck. Being Gordon, he prodded the conflagration in progress and got burnt. The argument became three sided.

Virgil considered snoozing on the counter.

Then he hit on the idea that he could possibly sneak back to bed. He stood up slowly.

Brains bounded into the room, tablet in hand. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Brilliant, so b-brilliant!”

The argument came to a sudden halt, four pairs of eyes turning towards the engineer.

The engineer didn’t notice, eyes glued to his tablet. Max bounded in behind him, whirring excitedly. It was the robot who prevented the distracted Brains from walking into the kitchen counter.

“Oh, thank you, M-Max.” His eyes didn’t leave the tablet. “Did you see the p-polymer ratio? Amazing! Such elegance. You know, I am quite d-disap-pointed that I didn’t think of this myself. The applications are going to b-be in-numerable.”

The distraction was enough to break the fuel lines of the argument and Scott settled for a final threat, Alan a final glare and Gordon, a snort of derision. The moment to escape was lost and Virgil slumped where he sat.

Damn.

“Virgil, you going to eat before we run?”

Alan was right, Scott mother-henned.

“Maybe.” Ugh, c’mon coffee kick in. He needed operational braincells.

Scott was peering closely at him. “Earth to Virgil.”

“Shut up, Scott. You got me up at the ass end of the day, I’m here. Don’t expect much more.”

His brother grinned, and Virgil had the odd urge to thump him. Just because this was his element, didn’t mean he had to be a smart ass about it. “Your next physical is going to be hell.”

The grin faltered. Aah, that’s better. Hmm, perhaps his brain was slowly booting. Go, coffee.

“Virgil! You h-have to see these equations. They are brilliant!”

What? Brains’ tablet shifted the remains of his coffee to one side and Virgil found himself staring at a series of numbers that made little sense at this time of the morning. “Brains, looks great. Can I review them later? I’m not all here yet.”

The engineer didn’t appear to hear him. “Look at the polymer decay to reaction ratio! This is a self-healing polymer!”

Huh? He frowned and forced himself to focus. The appropriate neurons clicked into place in his brain and suddenly what he was seeing made sense.

Shit.

He grabbed the tablet, eyeing the equations and spinning calculations in his head. Brains was right. This was perfect. The polymer would be able to self-heal with the application of a mild electrical current. Give it a pattern to follow and it would populate and keep it populated, even after disturbance.

“Did you discover this, Brains?” He frowned. There was something familiar about this. Maybe they had discussed it recently.

“Oh, no, this is V. T. Green. The man is brilliant.” There was that word again. Brilliant.

But it still took a second for it all to click into place.

V. T. Green was his blog. V. T. Green was his pseudonym online, used for obvious reasons to keep his identity hidden. The blog had been for amusement originally. A place to stash his favourite music and art, but at some point, he had found himself venturing into engineering circles and getting into discussion with the online community. It made for interesting discourse and he was able to keep up to date with some of the latest innovations. Not that he could share his own much and IR was well ahead of the majority of the world thanks to one Hiram Hackenbacker, but on occasion he would fiddle with ideas and make suggestions. It was also a great place to postulate out-there concepts.

The equations on Brains’ tablet were Virgil’s.

“Where did you get these?”

Brains was full of far too much energy for this time of the morning. “Green p-posted them during the night and they have h-hit the world by s-storm.”

“What?”

Brains frowned at him. “Haven’t you heard of V. T. Green, Virgil? He is o-one of the leading engineers on this p-planet. I have been f-following his b-blog for over a year n-now. You r-really m-must check it out.”

“Um, must have missed that one.”

“H-how could you m-miss such an important s-site? I know you k-keep up to date. The man is at the centre of a massive discussion about polymer cohesion and decay. Last night, Coloncous in Spain had the nerve to challenge him in the most ridiculous manner. I was so close to cutting him off myself, he was embarrassing us all, but Green replied with this. As expected, it is a brilliant explanation and Coloncous had no choice but to concede and crawl back into the hole he should never have come out of in the first place. He was a fool to think he could go up against Green. But this solution has so many possibilities. Do you realise this could be integrated into Two’s cahelium hull and she would be able to heal damage midflight? Four would be able seal herself in an underwater emergency. So brilliant.”

Virgil stared at the engineer. He didn’t think he had ever heard Brains say so many words in a row. And his stutter had disappeared two sentences in.

“What did you say about sealing Four, Brains?” Gordon’s ears had obviously pricked up at the mention of his ‘bird.

Brains’ attention was immediately drawn to the aquanaut, his verbal diarrhoea spilling all over Gordon and freeing Virgil.

Taking the opportunity, he pulled out his phone and brought up the website.

Shit!

He had notifications enough to clog his inbox. Due to the early hour, his phone was still on silent and he hadn’t heard any of them. A quick glance identified several prominent names and universities.

Shit. His eyes widened.

He glanced up at his family who were now eagerly discussing safety seals for Thunderbird Four. Even Scott’s eyes were wide and enthusiastic.

Shit.

Um.

Yeah.

He needed more coffee.

-o-o-o-

V.T. Green (one of my absolute favourites :D)

[write-nerdy-to-me]

Who’s Da New King of the Universe?

Ever since I saw the s5b trailer, I’ve been thinking some Thoughts™ about where the show is going, where these characters’ journeys of self-discovery will lead, so on and so forth. Putting aside my Deckerstar fears (which, hello theme of the season — “that’s all they are, fears”), I want to talk about the plot they’ve introduced with the return of God, and more specifically, who I believe will actually “become God.” (Though can an angel just assume this role…? I’m getting ahead of myself.)

For the first time in millennia (possibly ever), God has touched down to earth. This unexpected visit is fraught with tension and unease for a myriad of reasons: Why now? How come God hasn’t reached out before? What does this mean for everyone? What does this mean for Lucifer? Why did God do what he did? Why, why, why… 

Already, Lucifer is trying to navigate his new-and-fragile relationship with Chloe and deal with Michael, The First Fearmonger, who is still lingering about. There’s no doubt about the inevitable internal turmoil Lucifer will experience with facing the being he curses the most (besides himself). Then, to really top everything off, God announces his retirement. Like, holy shit, that’s a lot to deal with. 

So, what does Lucifer do? Well, in Peak Lucifer Fashion™ totally not avoiding the issues at hand — as there are no issues, obviously — he decides that he’s going to take his father’s place and become G-O-D (or Lod, if you’re feeling fresh. Please don’t call him Lod). He certainly can’t let Michael take their father’s place, that’s for damn sure. But, and this is important, is ruling the universe what Lucifer truly desires?

Lucifer has grown so much since his and Chloe’s first meeting, there’s no denying that. Of course, he’s not without slip-ups, just as anyone else isn’t, but he’s trying and that’s what matters. Before, everything he did was ultimately flipping the bird to his dad (but also to himself, but that’s some other shit), yet he willingly, selflessly returned to the place he vowed to never step foot in — just to protect Chloe, to protect humanity. He had no idea when he would be able to return, if he would even be able to. Would he ever get to see Chloe again? I’m sure the question haunted him for those thousands of years, as there’s no way he’d believe they’d reunite in hell.

Anyway, deeper Lucifer analysis aside, I just… don’t see him actually wanting the responsibility the role of God brings. Ruling hell, being a king, was always a job that was put on him and he met it great reluctance, if not outright hostility. “It was a job, Detective. Something I was forced to do.” Lucifer doesn’t have any desire to rule demons — he was all for the demons themselves to become the new king, just so he didn’t have to go back — but... Lucifer will be fine and dandy to rule... well, everything? Like, if he hates being the king of hell, what’s to say he’s even going to find fulfillment in being Master of the Universe? Lucifer wants to experience humanity, to help them to realize their deepest desires — and, hopefully, understand his own in the process. I believe that he’s latching onto this idea of entering Godhood because he’s avoiding the issues in front of him: Chloe asked him if he loves her back, and he never gave her an answer. He’s distracting himself, doing something dramatic as he’s wont to do — just to realize that he’s right where he’s supposed to be. (Chloe was just getting used to being in love with Thee Devil™, and now he’s... God? Mm, fancy that. The devil doth protest too much, methinks.) So, what does Lucifer want? Well, that’s a whole other convo, which I’m planning to get into later.

Now we have the question: Who is fit to be God?

It’s rather obvious when you think about it. Who is most often ought out, prayed to for help? For guidance?

Amenadiel is known for his strength, his unwavering loyalty, his compassion, and his love for humanity. He didn’t come by the last two easily by any means. Before, he held humanity at a distance by slowing down time and visiting earth without it knowing. It was after staying and experiencing humanity that he began to feel a change in himself. Since his journey of self-discovery, he’s learned that separating himself from people is not what he wants. He’s come to love humanity, and so, let go of the walls that kept him apart. “Look, I wasted so much time keeping them at bay, looking down on them for millennia when they have so much to offer. I’m only now just realizing how lucky that we are that we actually get a chance to connect with them. So I say put up your sign: ‘Open for business. Humanity, come on in.’”

The nuns felt God’s love stronger than ever reflected back at them in the presence of Amenadiel. This had never happened to him before and it couldn’t have happened because he wasn’t ready. After losing his wings, becoming human himself, experiencing loss, he’s closer to humanity than he’s ever been. He’s even a father now, and he finds fulfillment in just being there for Charlie; he doesn’t need anything else. Whereas Lucifer says he’s ~practicing his dad jokes, but has never been too terribly fond of offspring — with the Detective’s being the exception — and has shown no inclination for fatherhood, except, y’know, now that Godhood is dangling in front of his face like the shiny distraction it is. There are the few instances where he’s seen drinking out of the #1 Dad mug, which I think was foreshadowing for God’s arrival and this subsequent idea of Lucifer’s to be God, more than anything. There’s more to being a father than the puns, though. Between these two, I think it’s pretty self-evident who is more fit to carry the responsibility of the universe.

I think, perhaps, Amenadiel will take the universal throne, and Lucifer will continue as he has by guiding souls to their deepest desires. It will be another partnership, the brothers working together instead of against one another — just as they did to light the flaming sword. Someone for strength, someone for honesty. (Who knows, maybe Michael will be in charge of hell — it would either have to be something he’s bound to, or of his own free will. I mean, ~what do you truly fear~ definitely vibes more with the “you fuel your own hell experience with your guilt” thing.)

And now, some visuals and dialogue that make my brain go brrr. 

“Oh well, thanks for nothing.” “Listen, I really wish I could help you find Chloe, but I have faith in you, brother.”

“And what do you need?” “I think I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay.” “I promise you, Linda. Everything is going to be okay.”

“You couldn’t wait to tell everyone up there how all of God’s children create their own fate, how we decide where we belong.”

“I don’t think it’s God’s job to stop the bad. I actually think he’s there to give us the strength to get through it.”

God, thy name is Amenadiel.

tl;dr

I believe s5b will not end with Lucifer as G-O-D, but with Amenadiel. If I haven't convinced you to come over to the Amenadiel as God side, what if I told you that the combined name is Godadiel. God -> Dad -> Amenadiel.

The dots? Connected. The code? Cracked. My sanity? Gone.

[fatilightwood]

Our story

You can read it on Ao3

Chapter 1

Notes: Bold letters is for the person who texts first and the other person is going to be italics.

Chapter 2: Text

Thomas decided that this was it. The time was perfect. 26 hours later. Or something like that. What really mattered was Thomas had waited a day. He couldn’t believe that he took James’s advice, considering that neither James nor Thomas had luck with love.

So, before he could talk himself out of it he added Alastair’s number to his contacts.

When he opened a new chat with him he went to see his photograph. Damn it, he was stunning. Thomas thought that he knew where the photo had been taken but he couldn’t remember the place. There he was, a smiling Alastair, his hair illuminated by the rays of sun, his shirt a deep shade of blue, and behind him there were big trees.

But what was more important is that underneath Alastair’s name Thomas could read the word ‘online’.

Oh, boy, Thomas didn’t know what to do now. Was it better to have a quick response or should he wait and send the message later so the guy will see it in a few hours?

Thomas had to tell himself that it was now or never.

Hi, it’s Thomas

Was it bold to just give him his name?

The guy from the bar.

Thomas sat there, just waiting. God, it felt like hours.

Finally, he saw him typing.

Hi.

How are you doing?

Fine. I just finished my assignments. What about you?

I wish I were you. I’m writing all the notes I haven’t taken. Ariadne just sent me pictures of her notes.

Ugh. Can I ask why didn’t you take notes?

I kinda stopped paying attention in the middle of the class, sometimes the professor just makes it boring.

So bad teacher?

Yep. I like the subject but sometimes he’s just rambling and my mind just drifts.

That sucks.

Now he didn’t know how to continue. Those texts were easy but now? Should he say goodbye so he woudn’t keep the guy away of his duties? But then, Alastair texted.

I know. But it’ll be alright. I hope I don’t do this again, though.

I believe you’ve learned your lesson and won’t do it again.

And I think I’m going to take strength from that faith you have in me.

But don’t you think you’re being too benevolent with me?

Oh God, and was that an emoji? At the end of the text. The one with the hand covering his mouth.

Mmm. I don’t think so.

Though, I would like to be sure. I have to test my theory.

Oh. And how do you suggest we can prove your theory?

This was it.

I’ll have to supervise.

Closely?

Perhaps

The time couldn’t get any more perfect.

I was wondering, would you like to go out sometime?

Only if we’re not going to that bar where we met. I’ve been there too many times this week. I need a change of air.

That can be arranged.

I know a coffeehouse. It’s really beautiful and calm. What do you say?

I say that you can supervise the amount of faith you can have in me and I will supervise your taste in coffeehouses.

Sounds like a plan.

Friday?

Yes. My last class ends at 4 pm. Can we say at 5?

That would be great. My class ends at 3. But I have to go to the library.

Then he added.

I can meet you at the bar, and then we can walk.

Ok. Then I suppose I’ll be there by 4:15, and then you can show me the way.

Alright. 😊

Now, I suppose I should leave you to your duties.

I guess.

Otherwise I won’t be able to prove myself.

See you.

And don’t forget that I am waiting to be sure of my faith in you.

I would never!

You better not, bye.

Bye, Tom.

***

Alastair decided he deserved the break and considering he had been already in Ariadne’s chat when Thomas had texted him, he saw no reason not to.

Ariiiiiiiiiii!

Ariiiiiiiiiii!

Kamala! For God’s sake!

Hurry!

Quiiick!

Then he proceeded to send at least 10 stickers.

WHAAAAAT

What’s going on?

I know you use Kamala when the situation is serious but I can’t make myself believe it’s serious when you sent 13 stickers of a screaming cat.

This better be worth it.

First of all, you cannot disrespect my stickers and second:

I can assure you that it is worth it.

Then YOU hurry up! Spill the tea, Carstairs.

So, you remember cute guy, Thomas. He texted me.

He waited the right amount of time to do so, I must say.

And we talked.

OMG.

And he asked me out.

On Friday.

Oh, God. Yes, yes. Where are you guys gonna go?

At what time?

Promise me that you’ll give me the details after the date

Five.

And, to be fair, you always manage to have all the info.

I know. It’s a great power.

You didn’t answer. Where?

Oh, I don’t know the place. It was Thomas’s idea.

And are we sure he isn’t a serial killer?

One can never be sure.

And to Ariadne’s irritation, he sent the emoji of the guy shrugging.

Alastaiiiir

I’ll text you the address, happy now?

Of course

Now, I believe you were in need of my notes. How’s that going?

Wonderful

Then go back to that, and stop drooling!

Can’t promise anything

Kidding. Or not.

We’ll see.

See ya.

Bye, babe. I have to do my assignment for Architecture.

Alastair was aware he was still smiling. What Kamala said had made him think. They knew each other so well. He couldn’t believe this was his life now, and he was so grateful for it. He had managed to be himself, to be happy, to have friends, to trust them and to be trusted. Maybe it was Alastair’s heart being hopeful or maybe he’d been reading so many romance books that Layla had brought with her when she moved in, but he let himself think that something good was going to happen.

Chapter 3