#guess that means g-man is ‘key’

[pistachi0art]

Your printer is running low on ink- 🖨️

[wintersera]

forever mine || alpha!karina x omega!reader

notes: AGAIN sorry for the delay anon but here’s the request!! fun fact i wrote this while listening to the super mario galaxy ost 😭

cw: OMEGAVERSE, alpha karina, omega reader (obvs), maybe rina is a little possessive, use of toys, biting, scratching, g!p rina, creampie, breeding kink

wc 2.2k

your alpha girlfriend was so sweet and caring, the best alpha you could ever wish for. unlike other alphas, she was never too aggressive with you, rather, she was too careful with you- biologically she should’ve been treating you like you were her toy for breeding, but i guess not. nonetheless she was still a great alpha girlfriend.

—

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

first of september- the first ever day since you’ve forgotten to buy your heat suppressants since you started dating jimin. your stomach drops as your pheromones begin to waft around your workplace filled with pure blooded alphas.

shit shit shit i’m dead, oh i’m screwed what do i do? ohhh god what do i do?

it was sorta stupid. yeah- an undercover omega in a job filled to the brim with hardworking alphas. you were doing a great job of convincing everyone that you were just a simple beta. that’s how you landed your job in the first place, but now because of this one stupid mistake, you were bound to lose your job.

“guys…” head manager, a very big alpha man in your words, spoke up. his head tilting and nostrils flaring as he’s looking around the office, confusion on his sharp features “…are you smelling that?” with the attention drawn on your floral scent, you begin to panic as the other alphas begin sniffing around too.

ough,, how do you get outta this situation fast “i think i’ll head out early guys. whoever has their heat is driving me insane it might trigger my rut” how bad of a lie was that. it didn’t matter anyways, dashing out the room with your blazer and bag in, hand rummaging around your trouser pockets as soon as you make it out of the building.

“jesus christ jimin pick up please, please” walking, no- sprinting to the direction of your apartment. you knew your heat was gonna hit you badly. you’ve been taking suppressants for years so having a full blown pheromone disaster for the first time in years was going to be crazy. people were looking at you like you were crazy, but you’d rather have many people look at you weird than have your scent imprinted on the damn streets.

“what’s up?” thank the lord, she answered her phone just in time.

fumbling for your keys trying to shove it into the door lock, you sigh with a heavy breath “uh,, um jimin i’m going into heat- i already feel funny” unlocking the door, you fling yourself into the apartment, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

“what do you mean going into heat? did you not,,, oh well shit okay give me a few minutes” hanging up the call.

not so much to your surprise, slick was coating your cunt like crazy. to the point where it started to go through your trousers and down your legs. the need you had for your girlfriend was so unbearable.

in a haze, you wobbled to your shared bedroom and grabbed one of her used shirts. her clothes smelt so good, the lingering scent dripping from her clothes was enough to make you keel over and plop onto the bed. you felt yourself getting slicker, your needy cunt needing your alpha to come over and fuck you silly was growing stronger each second she wasn’t in the room with you.

taking matters into your own hands because you couldn’t wait any longer, the feeling of your heat coiling in your stomach was too much. your brain was giving into your biological urges and you needed to get off now or you’d suffer. grabbing a pile of jimin's clothes and making somewhat of a nest on the bed, you surround yourself with the scent of freshly ground coffee. quickly taking off every single piece of clothing, getting right back up to open the box of toys you kept just in case a moment like this ever happened- searching for anything, any toy, that could satisfy you while you wait for your alpha.

whereas jimin on the other hand was worried sick. throughout your two year relationship with her she’d never seen you in a proper heat. like yeah, the heat suppressants and scent blockers helped quite a lot so you were never heavily affected by the symptoms. of course omegas would usually never get this horrible desire to mate this early into their heat, but unfortunately for you, you did have this raging urge to mate so early.

you weren’t so very conscious, you were starting to feel groggy, a feverish high temperature when you touch your head began to appear. this heat was kicking you in the ass and you couldn’t take it anymore- taking the vibrator in your hands and placing it on the highest setting, your hands make there way all the way down to your throbbing clit “a-ah, hnnng jimin come quick…”

so so desperate for her, you pick up your phone hoping that she would answer your calls “please- please pick up jimin”

“i’m almost home baby, do you need something or…”

“just hurry up i’m begging you to come home pleaseee” and who was she to deny your request. stepping on the gas faster knowing that her precious little omega was in need of her alphas presence. she could here your desperation deep within your voice.

“don’t worry i’m about to park soon, just wait for me okay” jimin, knowing how she acted during your very suppressed heats, believed that she could never submit to her instincts since she has never done so when it came to you. that quickly changed as she opened the door, the scent of roses attacking her as she stepped inside. it was a thick scent, it stuck to everywhere and it didn't help that you couldn’t open the windows in time, now your walls were coated in this thick floral scent.

it took jimin a lot of willpower not to give into her urges right there. she felt her rut kicking in and it made her growl in discomfort. never feeling this way in a while, because she took rut suppressants since the two of you started dating, she started growing hazy much like you did. she was a pure blooded alpha which didn’t help either, the intensity of your heat did rounds on her and she had strongest urge to mark you up.

you could hear her footsteps grow louder and louder, her low growls could be heard with the door still shut. quite impressive. she didn’t even say anything when entering, taking off her work clothes only leaving just her boxers on, the line of her hard cock showing through made you whimper out loud. your slick was practically drooling out from your pussy.

in her eyes you were nothing more than a snack to be devoured. her red eyes peered down at you like you were some sort of prey, and you must admit that pure blooded alpha jimin was really arousing to watch. pheromones in the room were strong as hell, your thick sweet floral scent mixing with jimin’s freshly scented coffee smell made a delicious combination. the scent alone driving you two mad.

she went to sit on the bed, still peering at you meek little body. with hunter like eyes she stared you down and licked her lips, “sit up omega” obeying your alpha like the good little omega you are, you sit up from the nest of clothes.

she could hear little puffs of air pour out of your lips, stifling a chuckle as she watches you struggle to sit up straight and look at her straight in the eye. hooking you up with ease, jimin had your body pressed up against hers, sliding one of her hands in between your thighs opening them up with a strong grip “you look so needy for me” a second goes by and she’s shoving you back into the pillow.

“fuck” jimin whispered “how do you smell so good” nuzzling into the crook of your neck, “you smell so tempting, fuck, i can’t-“ she gave your thighs a firm squeeze, exhaling shakily “you need to take me right now, i can’t take it anymore. i need to feel your tight cunt around my cock” her voice low and coarse. in a flash she slipped her cock into your dripping heat, mewls threatening to escape your mouth.

if you weren’t too dazed and horny you would’ve been saying how you’ve waited for this exact moment. jimin didn’t spend anytime fucking around with foreplay, she went straight into pounding your slicked up hole with no mercy. everything she did set your body ablaze, her hands were touching every single inch on your body and it felt so fucking good.

like a ravenous animal she attacked your neck, licking, marking, biting your throat all whilst groaning. her animalistic mind wanting to show that you’re her omega and nobody else’s and by that she had to litter you with marks of any kind, purposely rubbing her scent to mark you as her omega.

every thrust made your back arch slightly off the bed, hitting all the spots you never knew could feel good because of how nice she usually fucked you. you felt how fast and precise her movement was, and it was heavenly.

as your back arched closer to hers, she shifted even more closer to you, practically pinning you onto the bed by hooking both of your legs above her broad shoulders. hitting even deeper then she previously did before, you felt the tip of her cock graze your cervix “mmfh, fuck, fuck- my baby feels so fucking good” saying all that while she’s harshly sinking her teeth into your shoulders.

“s’too much,, ah- jimin, g-good” her urges began to flare up, the only thing on her mind was to mark you up for good. like she was oh so desperate to keep you as hers.

pulling her cock out, in between breaths she instructs you “turn around. y/n turn over for me.. need to- need to fill you up“ taking your legs of her shoulders and flipping you over with ease, again with her predatory gaze, she stares right at your exposed ass in which tempted her to completely destroy you until you can’t stand anymore, leaving you in a state of vulnerability so that she can take care of you.

her alpha instincts were indeed controlling her every movement, the loving and caring alpha you knew was gone. all was left was a dominating alpha who wanted to fuck you till you were filled up with her cum, even if that means you’ll bear her pups.

returning back into your needy cunt, she moans even louder, louder than you’d ever heard. “omega- omega fuck, i’ll mark you. you’re mine, mine only. mine,,, shit you’re mine forever” relentlessly pushing your head into the pillows, her thrusts became frantic and desperate- her movement erratic and messy, it made you love her even more. her alpha side was making you wetter and wetter, bedsheets were covered with your slick.

your moans were insanely unholy. you were screaming and clawing onto whatever you could grab hold onto. her dick growing larger than before and that's when the both of you knew that she was about to knot into you. grabbing her arm for moral support, you dig your nails harshly into them leaving a few minor scars.

right now you looked so fucked out. you were crying, drooling everywhere all while you were screaming out her name. jimin took her time to place a generous amount of bites and hickeys all over your back too. you know… for extra measures of course.

“aah fuck, pleasepleaseplease alpha cum- cum in me” you sobbed out.

“bout to- gonna,, augh fuck cumming” one final harsh thrust into your cunt and her knot swelled as she spilled every ounce of cum into your hole. your cunt clamping down on her as well, essentially locking the two of you. whilst she knotted into you, she swiftly leaned to the back of your neck and inserted her teeth. it hurt a lot, the feeling of her sharp canines sent your nerves on fire, but only a second later and it felt almost orgasmic.

finally she had marked you, but now you were stuck like this for a while. her knot being large enough to just be stuck in this position. both of you were lowkey back into consciousness, the alpha side of her dying down a little bit and the subby omega side of you dissipating.

after a couple of minutes of basking in your orgasm, her knot went down eventually. it was just enough so that you could move slightly which inevitably caused her semen to seep out of your cunt.

“aaah~ can’t… believe.. i… marked.. you..” catching her breath through each word she managed to muster up “that means you’re mine.. forever, right?”

aww big dom alpha jimin was gone, but your cute puppy of a girlfriend was back. you turn around with her cock still in you and see her smiling right at you, her big puppy eyes beaming with glee.

“yeah.. forever”

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

okay i've seen a few Just Some Guy!danny aus and they've consumed my brain so here you go, it's under the cut, you're welcome and thank you (ps it also combines part of a prompty type thing i saw the other day, props if you know it)

Danny was not entirely sure how he got here.

He was just walking along, bopping to some great interdimensional tunes, eating his tuna fish sandwich - with ectoplasm and pickles, of course - when KABLOW there's this big ole tightie-whities-on-the-outside wearing guy.

Now, Danny's not great at keeping up with the times, but he's pretty sure this is that Superman dude.

Said SuperDude was staring at his headphones and making vague "hey take them out pls so can converse" gestures, so naturally Danny pops the Interdimensional Walkman out of his chest to pause his wicked music, and then puts the whole kit and kaboodle back behind his rib cage.

"What's up? Did you need help or something? I mean, I'm pretty solidly retired but I guess if it's super important I can-"

SuperGuy abruptly stopped staring and started speaking, "Uh- no, no, thank you. Although I'm sure you could be helpful if I did need you! But, ah, well, was that a Walkman?"

Ohhhhh, Danny totally gets it now.

"Oh, dude, I gotchu. You want me to hook you up, right? Don't even worry about it, I know a guy who'll give you one a these babies for free! You're Kryptonian, right? Yeah, I totally get it, you wanna listen to some music from your home planet, no problemo my newly-minted friend, give me, like, ten seconds-"

And so Danny tore open a neat little portal and stuck his head through it, asking Technus to pretty please give him another Interdimensional Walkman, no he didn't even break this one-! He ran into a Kryptonian who heard him rockin out and wanted to know where he got the beats, and he'd told them that he could hook them up! C'mon Technus, you can't let them down! They're all lonely! They want to learn about their culture!

-----------------------------------------

Clark has no idea what's happening.

He had been searching for this ear-splitting, headache-inducing noise, and had come across a guy dancing down the sidewalk.

Not unusual, right?

Except that the terrible noise was coming from this man's - kid's?? He can't quite tell how old he is - headphones!

Of course, he didn't want to be rude, so he politely gestured for the man to remove the headphones. The man then proceeded to reach into his chest and pull out some kind of - Walkman?? Do people still use Walkmans?

Clark was naturally concerned, so he activated a spot of x-ray vision, just to see what's going on in there, and was promptly horrified.

This man was using his chest cavity as a storage compartment!

Two wallets, a key ring, a lunch box, some sort of odd thermos, bits and bobs of random parts and tools were all tangled around - and occasionally in - this guy's organs!

Suddenly, Clark realized that he'd been staring for a while, and the man was now talking. Something about coming out of retirement to help, oh dear, Ma would knock him around the head if he kept being so rude, "Uh- no, no, thank you. Although I'm sure you could be helpful if I did need you! But, ah, well, was that a Walkman?"

And now he was speaking rapidly, something about music from Krypton? Clark's pretty sure that not a whole lot survived the explosion, and he'd be pretty surprised if this guy just happened to have-

A vaguely Lazarus colored portal??

What in the world-

-----------------------------------------

"Thanks Technus! You're the best! I owe you one non evil scheme related favour!"

Danny zips up the portal and turns around, fiddling with the tapes and Walkman in his hands as he goes.

"Here you go! I wasn't entirely sure what genre you'd want, I don't really listen to a whole lot of Kryptonian stuff to be honest, it's usually too heavy on the vocal for me- not that vocals aren't great! But I want a whole band experience, yaknow? I'm not really looking for individual singers. Anyway, I just had him go for a couple songs of each major genre, but if you want something different you can totally-"

"Wait, hold on, you're telling me that there's Kryptonian music on those tapes? Playable by that Walkman?"

"Uh, well, yeah. Isn't that why you tracked me down? And, technically, I mean, they're ectoplasmic tapes and an Interdimensional Walkman, so. Hey, did you know that kryptonite is actually super-condensed ectoplasm? And since it's filled with the anguish and suffering and fear and whatnot of your entire home planet dying, it only negatively affects your species! Pretty cool right? Oh, shit, was that insensitive, I really didn't mean to be, I just thought that maybe you'd want to- ACK!"

Danny was not expecting SuperMuscles to get so close. He thrust out the IW and tapes and dropped them into SuperFellow's hands, "Listen, I gotta run. I'm supposed to be at a o-chem study group right now and they're totally gonna be pissed. Hit me up if you want a different tape."

And the proceeded to run in the opposite direction, duck into an alley and turn invisible, and fly over to the cafe his study group was in.

"Listen, I know I'm late but you'll never believe why-"

[bi-panicatthedisco]

Random incorrect twst first-year quotes I saved

Deuce: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!

Ace: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!

Yuu: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!

Jack: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!

Sebek : Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!

Epel: Throw a brick at someone to kill them!

Yuu: Time for plan G.

Jack: Don’t you mean plan B?

Yuu: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Epel: What about plan D?

Yuu: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Sebek : What about plan E?

Yuu: I’m hoping not to use it. Deuce dies in plan E.

Ace: I like plan E.

*when the Squad drops food*

Deuce: Eh, oh well.

Epel: FIVE-SECOND RULE!

Ace: FUCK!

Jack: *just gets more food*

Yuu: *drops to their knees and mourns the food*

Sebek : *eats the food off the ground*

*the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Sebek, Jack, and Deuce: *spinning a little and talking*

Epel, Ace, and Yuu: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Epel: The floor is lava!

Jack: *helps Sebek onto the counter*

Ace: *kicks Deuce off the sofa*

Yuu: *lays on the floor*

Epel: ...Are you okay?

Yuu: No.

Jack: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Yuu, watching Sebek screaming, Ace trying to set a sleeping Deuce on fire, and Epel choking on air: I don't know either.

Deuce: We need to distract these guys

Ortho: Leave it to me

Ortho: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Yuu, Ace, and Epel: *Immediately begin arguing*

Jack, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Ortho: I can help you with it!

Deuce: Yeah, sure.

Yuu: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Ace: lol nope.

Epel: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Jack: *Read 5:55pm*

Yuu: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Ortho: >:O language

Deuce: Yeah watch your fucking language

Epel: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DEUCE THE FUCK WORD?

Ace: 'The fuck word'.

Sebek: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Deuce: Oh my god they censored it

Epel: Say fuck, Sebek.

Ace: Do it, Sebek. Say fuck.

Yuu: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!

Jack: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Deuce: More or less, I guess...

Ortho: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!

Epel: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.

Ace: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

Yuu, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Ace: Hey.

Deuce: Hi.

Jack: Hello.

Ortho: Hey!

Yuu: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Epel: We were out of Doritos.

Ortho: Hewwo.

Ace: Hihiiiiii!

Sebek: Greetings, Humans.

Jack: Three kinds of people.

Deuce: I want pudding.

Jack: Four kinds of people.

Yuu: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?

Jack: Five kinds of people.

Yuu: Would you slap Deuce-

Ace: Yes.

Yuu: I didn't even finish!

Ace: Sorry, continue.

Yuu: Would you slap Deuce for 10 dollars?

Ace: I would do it for free.

Deuce: Rude...

Epel: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!

Epel: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Grim: Tomorrow’s the Cooking Contest. Yuu always tells me one thing every year. They say, “You might win if you’d stop eating your entry!” But how would I know whether it’s an award-winning dish without tasting it first? This may be a problem humanity will have to grapple with for eternity…

Ace: It’s funny how well you and Sebek get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?

Yuu: Sebek hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

Deuce: Where's Epel?

Yuu: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Yuu, shouting: Jack sucks!

Epel , distantly: Jack is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Yuu: Found them.

Yuu: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Grim : Mine just says "Grim no."

Yuu: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Yuu: I have an idea.

Jack: A good idea?

Yuu: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Ortho: You believe me?

Yuu: Ortho, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Yuu: I give up. I am so tired.

Ace: Get the emergency supply!

Ortho: *carries Grim and places them in front of Yuu*

Grim: *smiles*

Yuu: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

[wally-darling-hyperfixation]

I keep imagining a scene of New Hire Puppeteer!Y/N (Or New Hire; anything. overseer, popular Worker hat go the chance to work at Playfellow Workshop or being so good at that job, Janitor, etc etc.) Watching others puppeteer the cast. all's good, of course, but they feel watched. The boss tells them to go back at night to clean/plan/Etc or Y/N goes themself.

Anyways, they get there at night and see the lights for the stage are on, but those were turned off before everyone left- so they investigate to see the puppets talking n' all that by themselves. then like- they're greeted and befriended by them, Y/N gets used to it (possibly over the course of time skips-) but mainly wally. then.. romance, ig.

oops, i rambled. just an idea i thought about.

i read some of your other stuff, by the way. i hooked now. :,)

Ummm I guess this is my life now?? :: Wally x G/N puppeteer Reader

Sooooo, you just got hired to be a puppeteer on a kids show. Yayyy. Sarcastic yay. You didn’t think your college degree in acting and theatrics would lead you to be a puppeteer but you need the money. So as you were being lead around the studio, they informed you of certain puppets you’ll help with at times when main puppeteers are out or sick. Such as Sally or Julie or Frank or Eddie. Seems like they want you to deal with the easier puppets instead of the big hard ones like Poppy, Barnaby, and Howdy. You ask if you would be working with the Wally puppet. The guide goes quiet. Then says. “The one who runs the show decides who puppeteers Wally so I don’t know.” You shrug it off and follow to a taping of the show to watch it. But through the whole thing it felt like you were being watched, which freaked ya out.

Turns out, working at a kids show is a little bit hard but easier than working at kids birthday parties as a costumer. So much hair pulling and outfit pulling and questions. You just have to puppeteer the puppets. You don’t even talk. You are pulled to the side at the end of the day. “Look we need you to stay the night here. Learn more about the puppets and where everything goes. Think of it as initiation. You’ll get paid for this as well,” the one who hired you says. You tap your chin and nod. Agreeing to come back tonight. You are handed a pair of keys and then it was called out work is over, go home. So you head home to wash up and then come back.

Several hours later, you head back to the studio. Grabbing the keys you were given, you unlock the doors and enter making sure to like behind you. It was a bit dark, so you used the flashlight you had with your keys. Walking through the studio, you see a room was lit up. It was where they kept the puppets. Not wanting to risk your job and have someone steal the puppets, you run to the light. As you enter the room, a pop sound was heard and confetti rained down on you. "Surprise, welcome to the neighborhood (Y/N)." You hear multiple voices say. Wiping confetti of your face, you realize it's the puppets talking.

“ What the f…” you were about to curse when the main Wally puppet says , “Now we don’t use that language neighbor. We just wanted to welcome you to the studio and the family.” He says with a somewhat soulless smile. The others nod and Poppy brings out a cake. “Wally ,the darling that he is, really liked your aura and wanted you to all meet us personally. Not a lot of staff know about it,” Poppy says as she puts the cake in front of you. “Wait, so does that mean Wally is the main boss man I’ve been hearing about? Is this my life now.” Wally smiles and nods, “ You betcha neighbor. You’ll be working a lot of night shifts now. But don’t worry you one of the family now.” Everyone cheers and makes noise makers and celebrates. You shrug and eat your cake.

Guess this is your life now…

[haihaihaitani]

Bad Boy/Good Girl ~ *Keisuke Baji*

Summary: Everyone assumes Keisuke is a bad boy, with his motorcycle and leather jacket. But little do they know, it's the opposite in your relationship...

Pairing: Keisuke Baji X G/N!Reader

Genre: Fluffy Oneshot

Word Count: 1261

Warning: N/A

Masterlist

A/N: This is actually garbage.

The unmistakable roar of a motorcycle could be heard throughout the campus parking lot. However everyone knew exactly who it was without having to look. Even if they did have to look to see who was here, there was no mistaking that signature black leather jacket, slicked back black hair and captivating eyes that could make any girl swoon. But Keisuke didn’t want to make just any girl swoon. He only had eyes on one girl in particular.

After entering the campus parking lot, he perched on his bike, watching with mild curiosity at the people coming in and out of the building before him. He was currently waiting for a certain person to leave said building. Of course, no one around here knew that. This was the first time he was ever seen on the university campus, much less the Communications Department building, so everyone who was meandering about automatically assumed he was up to no good.

The reason for his visit to this university came soon enough, with a scowl on her face as she marched over to him. Immediately, Keisuke perked up at the sight of her, standing up quickly as the pleasant look on his face turned into a frown. She didn’t say anything, just leaned her head against his chest and sighed dramatically.

“What’s wrong?” He mumbled, his deep voice reverberating against the top of her head. In her position, she couldn’t see the light blush on his cheeks. He didn’t really like PDA as it usually left him flustered, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her to get off of him.

“I hate tests.”

“Did you get your final score back already?” Her audible wince told him all that he needed to know about how it went. He instantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a warm embrace. Yeah, so much for Keisuke not liking PDA. “It’s okay, baby. I'm sure you did your best! And I know if I was taking that class, you would've scored higher than me!”

“No, it’s not okay, but it's whatever.” She sighed, standing up straighter. “I suppose I just wasn’t meant to have a good life.”

It was his turn to scowl at her words, holding her at an arm’s length away so that he could scold her properly. “Don’t say that! You have me, you know! Am I really that bad that you think your life isn't good just because I'm in it?”

She burst out laughing at his reaction before lightly punching him in the shoulder. “It was just a joke, Kei, baby! Man, you should have seen the look on your face! You looked so terrified! I know I shouldn’t laugh but you’re so funny, baby! Seriously! I’m going to die, you’re so funny!”

“I didn’t think it was all that funny, babe.” Keisuke grumbled, looking away from her and trying not to get too upset with her laughter.

Pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, she giggled at his dark blush. “Don’t look so glum, Kei. It’s Friday and you know what that means. It’s the weekend and you promised to take me to the movies this weekend! So let’s get going! I don’t want to miss anything!”

He nodded. “You’re right, I did promise you. But I don’t know if I want to take you anymore.”

She started to pout. “Why not?”

“Because you were making fun of me!” Keisuke whined with a teasing smile.

Chuckling, she pressed a couple more kisses to his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Kei, baby. I didn’t mean to laugh so hard at you. You know I love you right?”

“Yeah, I know.” He mumbled before clearing his throat, trying to get rid of his embarrassment. “Alright, I guess we can go now."

She was about to climb onto his motorcycle when he lifted up his helmet to her, making her groan. “Aww, c’mon! Do I have to? I trust you to be a safe driver!”

“Y/n, I’m just trying to protect you, like a good boyfriend. I don’t want you getting hurt! You’re too special to me.”

Scrunching up her nose, she replied. “You’re too protective of me, Kei! And you're so damn cheesy! It’s almost sickening how cute you are. And you’re always saying you don’t like being cute when you’re the epitome of adorable!”

Keisuke blushed darker before muttering, “Please, everyone knows you’re the cute one in the relationship. I’m the big, scary, bad boy. You’ve heard what people have said about me. I’m always up to no good and all of that.”

“Oh, a bad boy! Is that what you are?” She loudly laughed at his words. “Says the man who always makes me wear a helmet when we go riding on his bike because he’s afraid of me getting hurt when we both know I won’t. Says the man who always calls me his precious baby. Says the man who bought me this sweater because he was afraid I’d get too cold this fall and didn’t want me to get sick!”

“But,” Keisuke attempted to argue with her, “I thought you liked being called my precious baby? Also you look really pretty in that color and I really don’t want you to get sick! Then I have to take care of you and we both know you shouldn’t be missing any more classes than you already do.”

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know, I could always return this sweater and get a different boyfriend, one who understands me better.”

Pouting some more, Keisuke sniffed, not looking at you. “Y/n, don’t make me sad.”

“I was just kidding again.” She teased, patting his cheek gently before letting her hand trail down his neck and rubbing his arm. She bit her lip as her imagination went wild. “You know, if you’re such a “bad boy”, I say you get some more tattoos to prove it. A sleeve would look really nice. I could even help you pick some out and I have a cousin who can do them for a reduced charge.”

He rolled his eyes with a scoff. “We’re not having this conversation again, babe.”

Leaning in, she whispered seductively in his ear, “But it would be super hot.” 

“Y/n!” Keisuke squeaked, his breath hitching in his throat.

Laughing at his bright red blush, she climbed onto his bike. “C’mon! Let’s go! The movie I want to see starts in fifteen minutes and I don’t want to miss it!”

He held up the helmet again, before saying, “Helmet on or we’re not going anywhere.”

She took it begrudgingly, grumbling under her breath. As she snapped it into place, she mumbled. “You’re lucky I look good in this.”

“You always look adorable, my precious baby.” Keisuke cooed with a smirk before getting on his bike as well. He felt his heart flutter when she wrapped her arms around him. He quickly started it up and revved the engine because he knew how much she liked it.

Giggling, she shouted over the engine, “Floor it, Kei, baby! I love the feeling of the wind through my hair, even if it is covered by this ridiculous helmet.”

“No way. I don’t want you falling off or getting hurt, babe.”

With a smirk, she leaned in closer, her lips brushing his ear again, making him shiver. “I guess I’ll just have to hold on to you tighter.”

Right before they took off, he muttered, “And they say I’m the bad boy. Leave it to me to fall for a bad girl.”

[lizzieislife94x]

First Love (w.m)

Requested<3

Wanda x G!P reader

 Both legal age 19 in high school

AOU era for wanda so if your picturing wanda picture that era 😊🤷🏼‍♀️

Requestes are very much open message me if you want something all feedback is welcome

Y/ns POV:

"Do we REALLYY need to go to the game I don't want to watch a cocky Tony Stark running around thinking he's the man for scoring a few touchdowns" I pout to my best friend Amy as she laughs at me I'm trying my best to pretend I don't wanna go but I secretly do I've been seeing the head cheerleader Wanda Maximoff she's so fucking beautiful but no one can know I have an image to up hold if people around the school see me with her being all loved up they'll think I'm soft I didn't get the title of the schools bad girl over night I worked to build it but wanda is an absolute sweetheart she's the good girl around these halls well so everyone thinks trust me I've seen her being naughty and I've heard the language that slips past her mouth when we manage to get somewhere alone but in everyone else's eyes she's the good girl I'm the bad girl.

"Hello y/n" I'm snapped out my thoughts by Amy gently shaking me looking at me concerned "are you ok your where somewhere else" I cough and shake myself snapping back to reality "yeah I'm all good sorry just zoned out what where you saying" I give her my undivided attention "yeah I was saying you're coming to the game tonight if you like it or not I'll drag you there" I laugh and throw my hands up in surrender Amy is one of the few people I like in this place I'm never mean to her she's actually my best friend "you win you win ill go" I pretend giving her the victory "ok pick me up at 5pm that's enough time to get home and change " I smile as we say our goodbyes as I walk over to my pride and joy my motorcycle my precious baby I put my helmet on and climb on putting the keys in and starting her up I quickly look left and right and spot wanda as she spots me and I nod and wave without being seen by anyone as I can guess she blushes and waves as I drive off towards my house it takes me roughly 25 minutes to drive home as I park I run inside and go to my bedroom to get some black ripped jeans and an over sized hoodie to match after I get ready I goto the kitchen and make a quick ham sandwich I eat it and grab my phone and keys and head towards the door but stop myself I quickly shoot wandaa text 

Me: Hey I can't wait to see you do your thing tonight I had to pretend I didn't want to come tonight to Amy but I think she bought it 

Wanda: Oh my god 😂 least she doesn't suspect anything I can't wait to see you tonight I miss you y/n after the game meet me in the maths class 

I smile like an idiot as I gently bite my lip before I send another text

Me: I know ! I miss you too wanda and you got it babe see you in maths after the game

I walk out and head to my bike as I put my helmet on and drive towards Amy's house as I pull up and I grab my phone.

Me: I'm outside get yo ass out here bitch 

I put my phone away and wait a few minutes before she appears "well you took your time dickhead" I laugh as she hits my shoulder playfully "shut up let's go" she puts on the spare helmet and climbs on holding onto my waist as I drive towards the school it takes us 15 minutes to arrive and leaves us 10 minutes to get to our seats as we find out seats and get comfortable my eyes look for wanda and instantly land on her making me smile as if she can feel me she locks eyes with me and smiles as I mouth "you got this babe" she bites her lip and nods I honestly want the game to start so it can end I'm not here to watch the men run around I'm here to watch the good girl my good girl that owns my heart do her thing.

After the game I whisper to Amy "ill meet you outside in an hour I have something I need to do" she doesn't question me she just nods in agreement as I make my way to the math class room making sure no one sees me as I arrive my smile is beaming "hey baby, fuck I've missed you" I say walking towards wanda grabbing her waist pulling her in for a kiss which she happily returns as her tounge roams my mouth I savour the feeling, once air becomes a problem I break away and rest my head on hers "I've missed you too y/n" I look into her eyes for a second "we don't have long baby and I need you now" she whimpers making me giggle as I let my hands rub her ass "I have the place to myself this weekend do you wanna spend it with me we can  actually spend some proper days together" I say as she beams me a smile "I'd love to y/n" I smirk and push her against the desk as I start to kiss her neck earning precious moans from the redhead I feel her hand rub my crotch and moan against her neck "fuck wanda" I moan gently as she continues to rub my groaning member "I need you inside me y/n I've missed having you inside me I feel so empty when your not inside me" I bite my lip and smirk at her begging as I pull her panties off in a quick motion earning a surprised gasp making me giggle I quickly bend her over the desk and run my hand down her body admiring her as she spreads her legs I quickly push my ripped jeans and boxers down as I grab my dick and rub it through her dripping cunt lubing my cock with her juices "yes fuck y/n" she moans gripping the desk as I slowly slide myself into her waiting cunt "fuck wanda no matter how many times I fuck you you're always so fucking tight" I groan as I thrust hard bottoming out inside her "uhhhh shit don't stop uhhhh" I smirk as I run my hand round to massage her tits over her top as I start to thrust harder and faster both of us moaning messes the sound of skin slapping would easily be heard by anyone walking past "this pussy belongs to me, say it "

I growl into her ear as she whimpers beneath me the sounds of her soaking pussy only turning me on more "fuck y/n you own me you own my pussy its all yours no one elses baby" I lift her legs allowing me to get deeper as I fuck her harder feeling her walls gripping my cock, I increased my thrusts and look down as she creams all over my cock "fuckkk fucckk fuckkk baby I can't oh fuck" she screams making me smirk "fuck wanda I'm gonna cum but I don't have a condom on" I say with my eyes closed as my release fast approaches rushing towards me "pull out quickly " I instantly listen and pull out as she sinks to her knees and takes my cock into her mouth making me moan as my head rolls back making me grip her hair "shit just like that wanda it's coming" she tries to say something but fails sending vibrations up my dick causing me to crash over the edge I moan loudly as I feel my cum shoot down her throat after a few seconds she stands up and pulls me into a kiss "I have to go but I can't wait to spend the weekend with you baby getting to wake up to your beautiful face" she says as she walks backwards towards the door as I fix my jeans and boxers "me too ill see you Friday after school beautiful " and just like that she's gone, fuck I'm so inlove with this chick this is gonna hurt, I shake my head and laugh to myself as I go to the front of the school and see Amy waiting for me we both get onto the bike and I start the drive to her house to take her home then make the short drive to my house.

AN: this was a request I hope you like it requests are open I do them almost right away hahaha stay hydrated people hope everyone has a good day/ night word count is 1.5k 

[frozenwolftemplar]

'Tis the season for *fun* conversations

Fandom: Carmen Sandiego (2019)

Rating: G

Word Count: ~1,152

Just a little Christmas fun, inspired by my thinking about the societal constructs Carmen wouldn't have encountered growing up sequestered on VILE Island.

Apologies if this isn't very good, I've been trying to get out of a writer's block rut and this is the end result :/

+++

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

As one, Zach and Ivy turned from the television set to stare puzzled at Carmen, feet curled under her as she reclined on the hotel suite's armchair, then each other, exchanging baffled looks. The boss didn’t usually watch TV with them, spending post-caper evenings chatting with Player or people watching from hotel balconies or lobbies or nearby concourses; questions were to be expected on the odd occasions she did join them. But for this show?

“What’s what supposed to mean?” Ivy asked, setting down her can of Coke precariously on the arm of the couch.

Carmen gestured at the screen, indicating the kiddie Christmas cartoon that was the night’s main event. Really, she couldn’t see what made it, per Zach and Ivy’s insistence, "a classic" that “they had to watch:” most of the characters were on the mean side, especially the season’s ubiquitous Santa Claus (guy was a jerk to rival Shadowsan; what about him was worth celebrating for a solid month?), the music was tinny and off-key more than it was on, and the story about a deer who couldn’t catch a break was more aggravating than amusing (another seasonal mystery: what was festive about watching someone get bullied?).

But cartoons had been nonexistent on the Island, and watching the little stuffed animals seemingly, on their own accord, move was a diverting novelty. So while it was snowing too hard to avail themselves of what Chicago had to offer and she was gaining firsthand experience of what it was to be ‘snowed in,’ (something Player had found wildly amusing: “You said you wanted to know what living in Canada was like.” “I take it back.” “Too late!”) she’d accepted the siblings’ offer to pass the night with what was apparently an essential component of American Christmas, letting herself be mildly entertained by the childhood magic she’d missed out on in the form of an admittedly cute deer prancing across the screen, singing songs with an aspiring dentist (American Christmas did not make much sense).

Being mildly entertained did not preclude having questions, though.

“Man’s work,” She clarified, repeating Donner’s justification for excluding his nameless wife from searching for their runaway son. “What even is that?”

Neither sibling reached for the remote as the cartoon cut to a commercial break and ads began to blare, the television forgotten as they stared at Carmen like she’d just sprouted antlers to match the puppets on screen. “…Seriously?” Ivy asked, the word tight with disbelief. “You’ve never heard anyone say somethin’ like that? No one, like, ever said you couldn’t do something ‘cause you were a girl?”

“Um…” Carmen furrowed her brows, thinking back over her previous life on the Island. There were plenty of times she was told she couldn’t do something: play with Dr. Bellum's inventions, hike into the jungle by herself, poke around Countess Cleo’s wine cellar, rifle through Countess Cleo’s closet (the countess had been one of the main issuers of ‘don't-do-that’s, right after guess-who (again, jerk)), enroll in the Academy, sit in on Graduation (something she never did see but that still turned her stomach), leave. But the reasons had always boiled down to her being too young, too immature, too unruly; being a girl never had any bearing on the 'why's behind the 'no's.

“Ever?” Incredulous italics slanted through Ivy’s voice as Carmen slowly shook her head. “Wow.” She sat back on the sofa with a huff and crossed her arms over her chest, the Colgate spokesman’s smile taking on a suddenly nervous air at the venom in Ivy's glare. Grabbing her soda, she slammed back the rest of the can, then crushed it with a hand that had the innocent polar bears giving a growling crunch in alarm. “Guess VILE had something going for them after all.”

Confusion deepening (because how could VILE have anything going for them?), Carmen turned to Zach, the bowl of popcorn speckled with M&Ms and marshmallows sitting uncharacteristically forgotten in his lap. “Did I miss something?”

Zach blinked. “Apparently, sexism.”

“Sexism?" Carmen repeated slowly, the word an unfamiliar texture on her tongue. She flicked her gaze down at Ivy’s venomous snort, then bounced back to Zach. "What’s sexism?”

Zach's ears suddenly flamed to match his hair. "Uh..." He turned his attention to the all-consuming task of rummaging through the popcorn bowl for any bits marshmallows that’d survived Carmen’s turn with the bowl (a futile endeavor; she’d been commendably thorough). “You wanna take this one, Ives?”

“No.” Zach yelped as Ivy, face black, snatched her own handful of candy-dotted popcorn and champed it viciously, letting the unfortunate kernels pay for the insults of those idiots back at the track.

“But you have experience!”

“Experience?” (you could have experience at sexism? What, was it some sort of sport?)

“Which I’m *not* interested in rehashing!”

“Hey guys.” The brewing argument was doused by the sudden appearance of Player on the laptop monitor as it flickered to life on the coffee table. A bright lilt of laughing voices filtered through the door of the unfamiliar room he’d set up in, combining with the Santa hat sitting askew atop his head and array of snowmen, smiling elves, and red and green garnitures scattered about the space to give the (mostly) familiar tableau an unusually festive air. “Managed to snag a break from the family get-together festivities, so I thought I’d check in on how the snow day- well, night’s going.“

“Carm has a question for you!”

If Player was taken aback at Zach’s just-this-side-of-desperate interruption, he didn’t show it beyond a brow jumping into the faux-fur brim of the hat, merely turning to Carmen with a willing smile. “Sure thing. Fire away Red.”

“What’s sexism?”

The grin dropped, replaced with an expression that was dead-ringer for the ones Zach and Ivy had worn minutes before (was this a part of sexism?). “Sexism? For real?”

“Yes.”

Silence filtered through as realized that yes, his speakers were functioning properly, meaning that no, he hadn’t heard wrong. “Uh-huh…what are you guys watching again?”

“’Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.’”

Ah (well, now he had something else to add to the list of why he didn't like that cartoon).

“Ooooohhh boy.” Blowing out his cheeks, Player pulled off the hat and ran a hand through his hair, tipping the chair onto its back legs. He didn’t mind explaining things to Carmen, and really enjoyed being her guide to the world beyond VILE (truly; he wouldn’t have it any other way), but some things…well, some things are never fun to explain.

But she’d asked, so he’d do his best to answer. This should be interesting. “Well, you see Red…”

Ten eye-opening minutes later, Carmen was seething hotter than Ivy and on her way to blow off steam in the hotel’s complimentary gym, the cartoon having lost all magic.

Because while the truth of sexism was upsetting in and of itself, the realization that VILE, of all places, was free of the sin, and the mess of raveled feelings that burst from it, was a thousand times worse.

+++

Because at VILE, they believe in equal-opportunity evil, and they have a zero-tolerance policy for sexist comments. 🙃

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! 💙

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

lyrics that only a tortured poet could write

(pt 2)

i am someone who until recent events you shared your secrets with // and your location, you forgot to turn it off // and so i watch as you walk

old habits die screaming

i move through the world with a heart broken // my longing state unspoken // and i may never open up the way i did for you

you said i needed a brave man // then proceeded to play him // until i believed it too

was it hazing for a cruel fraternity? // i pledged and i still mean it

now i wanna sell my house and set fire to all my clothes // and hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons // even if i die screaming // and i hope you hear it

i hear the whispers in your eyes // i'll make you wanna think twice // you'll find that you were never not mine

pick your poison, babe, i'm poison either way

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leavin' here with you

wise men once said // "wild winds are death to the candle"

cross your thoughtless heart // only liquor anoints you // she's the albatross // she is here to destroy you

wise men once said // "one bad seed kills the garden" // "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen" // locked me up in towers // but i'd visit in your dreams

and when that sky rains fire on you // and you're persona non grata // i'll tell you how i've been there too // and that none of it matters

wise men once read fake news // and they believed it

spread my wings like a parachute // i'm the albatross // i swept in at the rescue

if you wanna break my cold, cold heart // just say, "i loved you the way that you were"

i changed into goddesses, villains and fools // changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

down that passage in time back to the moment // i crashed into you, like so many wrecks do // too impaired by my youth to know what to do

could it be enough to just float in your orbit? // can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

we hereby conduct this post-mortem

and so a touch that was my birthright became foreign

come one, come all // it's happening again

we learn the right steps to different dances

lost the game of chance, what are the chances?

guess who we ran into at the shops? walking in circles like she was lost // didn't you hear? they called it all off // one gasp and then: how did it end?

say it once again with feeling // how the death rattle breathing // silenced as the soul was leaving // the deflation of our dreaming // leaving me bereft and reeling // my beloved ghost and me // sitting in a tree // D-Y-I-N-G

i can't pretend like i understand ... i still don't know // how did it end?

i feel so high school every time i look at you // i wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

i'll drink what you think and I'm high // from smokin' your jokes all damn night // the brink of a wrinkle in time // bittersweet sixteen suddenly

are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? // it's just a game, but really // i'm bettin' on all three for us two

i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind // people need a key to get to, the only one is mine // i read about it in a book when i was a precocious child // no mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears // i'm there most of the year 'cause i hate it here

i hate it here so i will go to lunar valleys in my mind // when they found a better planet, only the gentle survived // i dreamed about it in the dark, the night I felt like i might die

i'm lonely, but i'm good // i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine // i'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and i'll get lost on purpose // this place made me feel worthless // lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me // and in my fantasies, i rise above it

everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman // but she used to say she wished that you were dead

i wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool // i built a legacy that you can't undo // but when i count the scars, there's a moment of truth // that there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you

and maybe you've reframed it // and in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue // i don't think you've changed much

a feather taken by the wind blowing // i'm afflicted by the not knowing

i look in people's windows // transfixed by rose golden glows

does it feel alright to not know me? // i'm addicted to the "if only"

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope // a greater woman wouldn't beg // but i looked to the sky and said please

cards on thе table // mine play out like fools in a fable // oh, it was sinking in // slow is the quicksand // poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand

and i sound like an infant // feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen // a greater woman stays cool // but i howl like a wolf at the moon // and i look unstable // gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table // a greater woman has faith // but even statues crumble if they're made to wait // i'm so afraid i sealed my fate // no sign of soulmates // i'm just a paperweight in shades of greige // spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay

when the first stone's thrown, there's screamin' // in the streets, there's a raging riot // when it's "burn the bitch," they're shrieking // when the truth comes out, it's quiet

i was in my tower weaving nightmares // twisting all my smiles into snarls // they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you aware" // what happens if it becomes who you are?

they knew, they knew, they knew the whole time // that i was onto somethin' // the family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line // they all said nothin' // blood's thick, but nothin' like a payroll // bet they never spared a prayer for my soul // you can mark my words that i said it first // in a mourning warning, no one heard

said you were gonna grow up // then you were gonna come find me // words from the mouths of babes // promises oceans deep// but never to keep

are you still a mind reader? // a natural scene stealer? // i've heard great things, Peter // but life was always easier on you than it was on me

we both did the best we could do // underneath the same moon // in different galaxies

and i won't confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn

love's never lost when perspective is earned

forgive me, Peter, please know that i tried // to hold onto the days when you were mine // but the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

and i can confirm she made // a curious child, ever reviled // by everyone except her own father // with a quite bewitching face // splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless // excellent fun 'til you get to know her

but as she was leaving it felt like breathing ... as she was leaving it felt like freedom

all her fuckin' lives flashed before her eyes // it feels like the time she fell through the ice then came out alive

and at first blush, this is fate // when it's all roses, portrait pose // Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats // what a charming Saturday // that's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards // and she just knows she must bolt

buried down deep // and out of your reach // the secret we all vowed // to keep it from you in sweetness

you got the dragonflies above your bed // you have a favorite spot on the swing set // you have no room in your dreams for regrets // (you have no idea) // the time will arrive for the cruel and the mean // you'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline // but now we'll curtail your curiosity

i'm not a donor but i'd give you my heart if you needed it

and the years passed like scenes of a show // the professor said to write what you know // lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward // then the actors were hitting their marks // and the slow dance was alight with the sparks // and the tears fell // in synchronicity with the score // and at last // she knew what the agony had been for

now and then i reread the manuscript // but the story isn't mine anymore

[gerrydelano]

Hi i would. Looove to hear about this fantasy au (bonus points for gerrys fucked up origins thanks for the food)

scrambles to sit up and falls out of my desk chair in the process. Bless You, Anon. Bless You. i will limit this to the first side quest because even that is long as fuck but it Is gerry centric which means it's food for Me.

okay So. the key tenets here are:

tim is the pov character

the stokers knew sasha and martin as kids until martin moved away with his dad after his mom's passing (wild!)

danny was taken by the fey at like 18. BAD.

after two years of training and study, tim and sasha are about to set off to find him or get revenge (it's a death wish) just as martin swaggers back into town a new man (he spent a decent chunk of his money on glamors that are tantamount to HRT while traveling back to their hometown after he super left his shitty dad's house) and he elects to come with them because It's A Death Wish and he doesn't want tim to get into trouble, and also he has like... nowhere to go anyway. might as well keep adventuring, but this time with friends.

they go to a coastal city to ask adelard dekker for some advice, and he sends his apprentice along with them. hi jon!

and then once they're on their adventure........ we meet a mysterious figure.

they do a lot of little bounty hunts and side quests for money and whatever obviously and so at one point they get enlisted to find some heirloom for some guy and right as they're about to get it, oops! insert Guy In A Featureless Silver Mask Riding On A Black Dire Wolf, Who Then Swoops In And Takes The Heirloom First.

What.

they hate this guy. they can't stand this guy. they wanna beat this guy up for doing that. he was so scary though so what do you even do. they ask around town and find out he's The Black Rider™ and he has a habit of doing this shit and they should stay out of his way.

they find melanie in a tavern and jon recognizes her from their childhoods because surprise! THEY grew up together. and she's been Away for a while after she ran away with josephine, her first love, who ended up dying about a year later. she's been too ashamed to return home alone. she is begrudging about reconnecting with jon, but she does end up hugging him and crying about this. i love them. bad weather friends.

she joins their party in time to run into the Black Rider again, who once more is trying to get something before they get it.

this time they get some awkward banter out of him though so they figure there is some kind of person under there.

and the Third time they encounter him, tim tries to cut to the chase and offer an olive branch of friendship, only for the black rider to attack them with his big scary halberd and it's like DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

the fight is pretty intense but they do outnumber him, so tim gets him on the ground with his sword under his chin and he can feel the dog breathing down his neck but she isn't biting - because the black rider has held up a hand to stop her.

tense! and kinda sexy.

they agree to lower the weapon/call off the dog on the count of three from sasha, but tim hesitates longer than the black rider does. intriguing.

he leaves and they realize he still took the bounty they were after. G-d DAMMIT!!!!

then a few weeks later they meet some guy named gerry in a dungeon and he helps them fight off some zombies or whatever and they vibe for a few days, he seems nice if not a little weird, and they get along well. he dips after a bit and it's just a standard interaction pretty much. neither here nor there.

then they're fighting a cockatrice at some point and the Black Rider comes in to help them! odd, but accepted.

oops! his mask gets knocked off.

martin, being the nice guy he is, goes to return it to him and sees his face - gasp! it's gerry! who EVER could have guessed!

after they defeat the cockatrice they really have to have a whole ass conversation about this because Seriously Dude What The Fuck.

he ends up talking to them a little bit but not much, he's cagey and now seems kind of... nervous? what gives, right.

after a bit though they offer to let him come with them because tim is like "oh my g-d. you're LONELY 😆"

and he'd be right.

but there's a lot more to it than that.

eventually he caves and tells them, "we're being watched." by who? his patron, he says, after taking his time deciding on the wording.

he's never told anyone this before. he didn't even know she couldn't Hear him too, only just found that out.

then after a little while he fucks off for a bit without an explanation, and they're like. wtf.

when he comes back to find them, he explains that he nearly stabbed tim in his sleep one day because he's not only being spied upon, but his body is able to be controlled by his patron.

they are understandably upset about this and have to put in some protective measures to prevent that from happening again. he's no longer allowed on night watch.

but he's clearly distraught with guilt and like... they can SEE the humanity in him, they can SEE that he hates this and he needs help.

martin is a Redemption paladin by now and he wants to help him really badly.

tim needs... some time.

jon suggests they put a blindfold on him now and then to help him feel more at ease talking about things without fear of being spied on and it helps sometimes.

they travel for like 9 months before gerry trusts tim enough to show him what's really going on, while they're bathing in a lake after a battle that left them covered in blood.

he moves his hair aside to show tim a sigil branded on his back.

mary did that to him when he was 12.

so, basically, this guy hasn't had a shred of bodily autonomy or privacy in half his life. it's disgusting honestly like literally if you think for two seconds about the logistics of this it just gets more and more upsetting. bad!!!!

so they've already wanted to break his curse but it's just. tim can't stand this knowledge. he still doesn't know it's his mother yet, though. that stays on lock.

the group goes on to meet with mikaele salesa for some help, and gerry refuses to go anywhere near him. fucks off again with no explanation.

but they take the opportunity to ask salesa if he knows anything about the black rider etc and he says BOY DO I KNOW HIM. HE'S WHY I HAVE SO MUCH PROTECTION AROUND MY HOUSE LOL.

gerry has stolen so much from him and killed some of his guys and it's like YIKES. but salesa Also knows about mary.

she's been collecting super powerful artifacts for ages now trying to give herself more power so she can become a lich. uh oh!

and tim, who has made a Paladin Oath with Death by now, is now assigned by HIS patron to go and kill her before her transformation takes place, because she would be defying the natural order.

so, they go find her scary tower and are intent on fighting her, only to find - gerry?

and boy does he look rough. he looks Bad right now he hasn't been having a good time while he's been gone.

mary is in the middle of her ritual and she halves her focus in order to control gerry into fighting for her and eventually the fight is looking bad enough that she switches tactics.

she has him point the knife at his own throat.

because she did spy a little bit of the tiny intimate moments between gerry and tim, try as gerry might have to keep his eyes averted or up at the sky or just anywhere But tim, and she knows the group has come to care about him. so, clearly this is a better threat.

sasha calls her bluff BIGTIME and says hell no are you gonna kill him, you put too much work into him, he's your only heir, you need him, you'd never go that far, blablabla.

and that much is actually true. but it looks pretty close when she actually has him break skin a little bit.

tim is very upset at sasha for potentially making it worse lol But

it does work

they manage to kill her and free gerry and it's a very complicated moment because like... dude that's his mom. she's all he's ever known, save the wolf she "got" for him when he was a kid that is now his closest companion, and the dryad who guards the forest outside (hi tazia!)

so it takes gerry and tim a while to like. recover from that. but they do.

meanwhile, before they leave mary's tower, they totally pilfer her magical objects and jon finds a peculiar glass orb... that looks like it's got spider webbing inside it.

and that's all i'll say for now! obviously this is the Side Quest i am most invested in, but the plot of this filled 15 pages of a timeline and it goes on until gerrytim die in their 70s lmao so like. Big Big AU. it takes like 5 years after this all happens to find danny and That is a huge mess, too. boy howdy!!!!

now i realize i can't surprise anyone with this plot if i did write it but like. chances of that are slim. this is still so niche. jdhdjdhfk. gtcu brand classes, not canon based at all.

[nautiscarader]

Chess mates

A Glitch techs story, G, (Ao3)

it is not shipping fic,but it has elements of Zahra/HF which was supposed to become canon.

Also, there are some notes under "read more". Be afraid.

------------------

In a dimly lit room, illuminated only by eerie blinking lights of seven-segment displays of old computers, a man walked in. He looked at the floor as if he could see the infra-red security grid, protecting it from intruders like him. He then took an asymmetrical USB key and inserted it into the panel on the wall… on his first try.

Without fear, he stepped safely and walked unnoticed across the room, until he faced an ominous, black computer tower, bigger than him, and gently touched its side. The machine hasn't been turned on in over a quarter of a century…

"Soon you and I will play again…", he spoke and unlocked the wheel brakes under its pedestal, allowing him to drag the priceless artefact effortlessly. He walked past the knocked out guards, and a few minutes later… he was gone.

xxxx

Miko Kubota stared with growing aggravation at the plixelated figures on her side of the black-and-white board.

"So… I'd like to upgrade my horse into a pegasus."

Zahra giggled.

"It doesn't work like that. Besides, it's a knight."

Miko took the generated figure in her fingers and examined it.

"No, it's a horse. Unless…", she said excitedly, "The horse IS a knight! Wait, is there a horse armor DLC?"

Zahra gave her a polite, but contemptuous smile, looking at how few pieces she had left compared to ones on her side.

"Look, Miko, there is no sense in forcing yourself to liking a game, especially one like chess. But that is the beauty of gaming. I am rubbish at that tower defence game you play. We all have our tastes."

Miko slumped into her chair, finally defeated, while Zahra cleared the board with one swipe of her arm.

"You're right. I guess… You play it all the time, so I wanted to give it a try. Plus, High-Five said one day how he started with some old PC chess game when he was 5 or something…"

Zahra's eyes lightened up.

"Hector? Does-does he play it too?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, n-nothing."

But she took a second too long, and a wide, mischievous grin appeared on Miko's face.

"Hey, High Five! Get your butt over here!"

Zahra did one desperate attempt at stopping her, but it was too late. The boy in question turned around and walked from the counter where he's been doing retagging.

"What? I'm busy"

"Oh no, you're not. I'll take it from here, while you and Zahra can have a relaxing game of chess.", she jumped from her seat, practically shoving Hector down, and grabbed the tag printer from his hand.

"Oh? So you like chess too?", he turned and leaned towards Zahra, but quickly shifted back at Miko.

"Wait, and you'd WILLINGLY offer to do this mind-numbing job instead?", he raised his eyebrows.

"Beats your nerdy chess with million rules.", she turned around, blowing a raspberry that once she looked away turned into a triumphant grin. A moment later she took a peek and saw how the two were leaning towards each other.

But her satisfaction was short-lived, when Haneesh jumped in, quite literally shoving his face between those of Zahra and Hector.

"Speaking of chess, have you guys heard? Someone broke into some tech museum and stole some famous old chess machine." he said, missing the icy daggers Miko was throwing at him.

"Wait, old chess machine? You don't mean-", Hector spoke, while Haneesh displayed the article in the air, above the plixelated chessboard, as the rest of Glitch Techs gathered around.

"BlueThought stolen - bizarre theft at The Museum of Really Old Technology.", read the title.

"No!", Hector shouted, rising from his seat. But a quick glance at the nonplus faces of his colleagues tempered his reaction.

"Wait, has-has none of you heard of BlueThought?"

"High Five, it's clear you know and care a great deal about it, so why don't you enlighten us?", Zahra proposed.

"Yeah, go on", a new voice chimed in when Phil chimed in, sipping his morning coffee.

"Well, okay then…"

Hector sat back, cleared his throat and looked at his friends that now paid attention to his every word.

"It all happened a long time ago, in the distant year of… 1996…", he made a long pause as if he was telling a spooky campfire story.

"Oh, give me a break", Phil interrupted, "Don't make it sound so dramatic, it was only…", but he paused when his calculations expected slight buffer overflow.

"…Okay, never-mind, carry on"

Hector turned back and continued.

"Well, as I've said, it was the mid-90s, and they have built this supercomputer to play chess."

"Was it the first one?"

"No, far from it, there have been dozens before. But this one was the best. It kept defeating other chess machines, then regular chess players, then masters, then grandmasters, then arch-grandmasters…! Until there was only one opponent left… The Undisputed Super-Duper Arch Great Grandmaster…"

Hector took a deep breath.

"…Gambi Krasnysledin."

Predictably, the sound of his name brought very little reaction, aside from a guffaw from Mitch.

"Gambi? What sort of name is that?"

"Hey, don't make fun of other people's names", Zahra barked back immediately.

"Yeah, Williams, don't be such a Mitch."

The group laughed at Miko's quick jab that has successfully shut Mitch up.

"And hey, he was from Soviet Russia…"

"Azerbaijan, actually", Phil quickly corrected Hector.

"So what happened then?"

"Well, the match was on. Six games, Gambi won some, lost some… But then, in the final one, BlueThought made a move so unexpected it baffled everyone."

"What? What did it do?"

"Oh, I know!", Miko suddenly interrupted, "I bet it grew arms and legs and cannons and started blasting!"

"Wha-No! It was just a move, a chess move", and he took a piece and slid it across the board, much to Miko's disappointment.

"But it was a typically human move… A sacrifice one. It felt as if it knew Gambi's next one."

"And?", the Techies asked.

"Gambi was furious! He lost the final game and the entire match. The worst thing is, he never got over it. He accused the Blue Team of cheating, of hiding someone inside the machine! Can you imagine it?"

Suddenly, Zahra chuckled.

"Actually, I can. Have you guys heard about The Turk?" she raised her eyebrows, asking the crowd, but eyeing Hector.

"No", he replied, his curiosity piqued.

"Well", Zahra started explaining, pulling some images onto the shared screen to replace the article. They depicted a human-looking mechanical robot, wearing a turban, colorful robes and sporting impressive moustache.

"That is The Turk, a machine from 18th century that could play chess and allegedly defeated Napoleon".

"Woah, woah, woah!", Miko interrupted. "I can imagine a chess computer from the dark ages - er, no offense, Phil"

"Yes, offense, Miko", he sharply replied without missing a beat.

"…but how could it work without electricity?!"

Zahra chuckled.

"With lots of gears, linkages…and cheating! Cos there really was a grandmaster hidden inside the desk, doing all the thinking, and actually moving the arm."

"It's a bit like that saying - 'A computer is only as smart as the one, who programmed it…'", Hector started.

"…'and as stupid as its user'", Zahra finished.

"Yeah…"

And the two once more leaned forward towards each other, forgetting about the small crowd around them.

"Well that is all fascinating", Mitch barged in, sarcasm dripping from his voice, "But why would I care about some old computer, designed to play only one game, when I have this!"

And he pulled from his pocket an USB stick shaped like a fish.

"Hinobi FishStick AI. Prototype, naturally, but I got it first!", he spoke triumphantly.

"You know we should've gotten it", Zahra pointed to herself and her teammates.

"But I got it! This baby can probably learn chess in seconds… If I ever cared about such boring game."

"Well, one reason you should, would be because it is also part of our history", Phil quickly explained, "Hinobi provided some extra chipsets for it."

"Wait, we've made it?"

"Oh no, we were small fish back then."

"So who has built it?"

"A team at BIM", Hector was quick to answer.

"Wait, BIM? Boring Internal Machines? Weren't they making printers and stuff?"

"Yeah, but I guess they wanted a piece of that gaming cake.", High Five pulled out his phone. " There was a whole team of experts… er, doctor Bell, professor Shu, doctor Murray…", he kept reading."That's what made BIM so big, their stock prices sky-rocketed after the match! I didn't even know these names, everyone remembers the name BlueThought… And, well, good thing they went with this one.", Hector suddenly shied away.

The rest of the Glitch Techs exchanged curious looks.

"Wait, what was the original name then?"

"Err…", Hector scratched his head, "Well, the computer was made with only one job in mind, right…", he slowly explained, his face getting progressively redder.

"And BIM's color was blue… So their first name choice was…"

Hector swallowed loudly.

"…BlueJob"

Like a spark tossed onto a pile of gunpowder, it took only a split of a second for the teenagers to burst into uncontrollable, asinine laughter. While the boys held no restrictions, Miko raised her hands saying "Nope, nope, nope dot MP4", and Zahra simply covered her mouth with her hijab, hiding a soft giggle.

"Alright, y'all, this was a hilarious history lesson, but we open in FIVE MINUTES!", Phil's voice boomed across the room, prompting the teenagers to get to their positions at the counters.

xxxx

The discussion about BlueThought returned unexpectedly during their lunch break, as Miko was determined to finish her mission.

"So… Have you and Zahra talked some more?", she asked in a would-be innocent voice.

"Huh? Oh yeah, she had this annoying client, who asked why his terabyte hard drive shows up as "931 GBs" and why did we steal the rest. Now you try to explain to an angry man difference between gigabytes and gibibytes, and that you haven't made those up."

It took about a minute for Miko to blink her way back to reality, as she processed High Five's reply.

"Dude, you have made those up. Secondly, do I need to put a giant quest-marker over her head?!"

"What do you mean?"

Miko groaned. But she quickly regained her composure when Zahra herself joined them.

"Hey, have you read the rest of that article?"

"No…", Hector shook his head, pulled his phone out, and started skimming.

"…'the whereabouts of the perpetrator remain unknown. Police reassured us that the safety of the other half of BlueThought remains'- Wait, what?"

Hector stared at the screen in disbelief.

"The other half?!"

"Yeah! That's why I brought it up."

"What, did they saw it in half?", Miko performed a motion as if she wielded chainsaw.

"Most likely it simply had so many boards it needed two towers", Zahra explained.

"Ah, you're no fun", Miko groaned.

"Listen to this", Hector interrupted, "'After the 1996 match with Krasnysledin, the machine has been separated into two parts, never to be reunited again…'"

"…Cos that doesn't sound ominous", Miko commented.

"But why would they do that?", Hector asked.

"Maybe because otherwise it would be too powerful and it would destroy the world!", Miko laughed maniacally.

"Miko-", Hector started, but was interrupted by Zahra.

"Actually… Think about it: BlueThought acted strangely, Gambi thought someone was inside… But he didn't know WE provided chips…. What if…"

"…it wasn't someONE…"

"…but someTHING! What if it was…"

"A GLITCH!", they all exclaimed.

"And what if it only activated with both halves?"

"Like some ancient artefact…"

"Wait, where is that other half stored?"

"It's…in another museum… An hour away from us."

The three Glitch Techs stared at each other.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so, Hector, but I don't know if we can use that joke.", Miko quickly replied, scratching her chin.

"What?", Hector asked, once more befuddled by her reply.

"What? I thought we could drive there, guns blazing and catch the thief red-handed."

"No!", Zahra protested, "We should drive there… And offer some protection. Our tech can do wonders compared to ordinary security measures."

"Okay, so it's settled, right? We drive tonight, after we close.", Hector stated.

"And we just offer them help", Zahra looked at Miko, already browsing guns on her gauntlet.

Miko groaned, but when Zahra turned her back, Miko selected one particular gun…

xxxx

Like they've discussed, the three Glitch Techs met after the store closed, quickly getting into the van. Miko swiftly jumped to the back, offering Zahra seat next to Hector, a sly grin drawn on her face.

And as they drove, their conversation quickly moved to the theft.

"I do wonder who could have done this.", Hector spoke out loud.

"Isn't it obvious?", Miko answered, "Gambi…Whatshisname! Didn't you say he was still salty after all these years?"

"Yeah, but that's hardly a motive."

"Except", Zahra suddenly spoke, reading from her phone "Check this out: 'For years Krasnysledin has been unsuccessful in launching his own chess simulator software, unable to compete with growing market of AI-based ones.'"

"Huh.", Hector grunted, "I guess he could be the culprit…"

Soon, the long road became bendy, as the three approached the museum, located on a small hill. They quickly got out, ready to follow Zahra's plan.

"Okay, guys, remember, we're coming just to offer them protect-"

But Zahra froze when she saw two men lying on the ground, now clearly visible in the beam lights of their van that shone upon them.

She rushed towards them, reaching her hand to check their pulse.

"They're alive. Sir? Sir? Can you-"

But in response, the guard let out a loud snore.

"Sleeping gas", Miko kicked the odd circular object on the ground, "Favoured by Russian spies…"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector corrected her.

"Alright guys, suit up", Zahra commanded, and with one push of a button on her gauntlet, she became clad in futuristic suit of armor.

Miko followed her, spawning her own combat suit. Hector, on the other hand…

"What? It's magical protection!", he countered the accusatory looks when he became clad in fancy wizard robes, wielding a staff instead of a conventional weapon.

"Well, maybe we will be able to surprise Gambi with a fireball…", Zahra shrugged. "Let's go."

The automatic door opened, showing an empty entrance hall, and two more knocked out guards.

"Be cautious, guys…", Zahra whispered, sliding a night vision overlay over her eyes.

Miko and High Five stuck close together, securing each other's rears, as the three moved forward. Zahra quickly browsed through an interactive map for visitors to find where the BlueThought was located - though the sleeping guards were an easy indicator where should they go.

"Fourth floor", she whispered.

The Glitch Techs rushed up the stairs, only slowing down when they reached the landing and saw the vast hall full of old computers.

And at the very end of the hall… A giant, black tower of BlueThought's second half was clearly visible, even in the dimly lit light.

"Have-have we beaten him?", Hector scratched his head.

"Nope", Zahra replied, pointing to another snoring guard, "Unless…"

She walked towards the blinking panel on the wall and examined it.

"The security is still on.", she stated after quickly scanning it with her gauntlet.

"Great! then we can one-up it with this baby!", Miko suddenly pushed Zahra aside, pulling a familiar, fish-shaped object from her gauntlet's pocket storage, ready to insert it into the USB port.

Zahra had to take a step back, finding it difficult to gather words.

"Miko! Where-how?", Zahra stuttered, as she looked in disbelief at the FishStickAI in her friend's hand.

"You've said it yourself you guys deserved it more!"

"Did you steal it from Mitch?!"

"Yes, but it's not like I went unscathed. I had to place a portal on his backpocket so I had to stare at his butt to aim. Frankly, you should be comforting me.", Miko answered quickly, proudly showing her portal pistol.

"But you've brought the exact thing that Gambi is aft-"

Zahra's words were cut off when suddenly a whip, made of tied computer cables, shot between the two, coiled around the FishStick and snatched it from Miko' hand.

The Glitch Techs watched in awe as the FishStick was snapped and landed in the hands of a shadowy figure that suddenly appeared next to BlueThought.

Next moment, lights were turned on, revealing the face of the thief.

But it wasn't Gambi Krasnysledin.

It was…

"Er, who the heck are you?", Miko asked.

The corpulent man chuckled and corrected his glasses.

"No one remembers my name… But everyone does BlueThought's…", he spoke, fiddling with the FishStick.

Something about the way the man phrased his response stirred a part of Hector's brain, reminding him of what he's said a few hours ago.

"Wait! You are-hang on….", he pulled the article he read onto his gauntlet, "You've worked for BIM! You are…er… Doctor…"

"Professor Shu", he finished.

"Wait, hang on", Zahra interrupted, "You-you guys have won. Haven't you made millions on this match?"

"Oh, we have", he answered calmly, still toying with the stick, "But if BIM had not interfered, I would be making billions. And now, when I power this old machine with your toy, I will."

Only now Hector and the rest noticed that he was standing between both halves of BlueThought, having evidently brought the first stolen tower with him.

"Ha! Good luck with that, this thing is cutting edge tech, you'd need a hundred adapters to make it wor-"

But Hector couldn't even finish his sentence as Shu plugged the FishStick into BlueThought, enveloping it in familiar, blue aura.

"I've built this. I HAVE a hundred adapters.", Shu smugly said, showing his vest full of pockets filled with electrical parts and tools.

"Guys, he's doing the villain speech, shoot him!", Miko cried, already pointing her gauntlet at him.

At the same time, all three aimed and shot some form of immobilising projectiles - with Hector casting a paralysing spell.

But Shu didn't even flinch, as a blue plixelated barrier shielded him and the two halves of BlueThought from Techies.

"Hm, it does learn quickly. And it can predict moves…"

"And that's what you want, right? To sell the smartest chess program out there!", Hector shouted.

"Chess?", Shu did a double-take, "Oh, no, I want to make printers."

Silence fell in the room, as the three Glitch Techs exchanged confused looks.

"P-Printers?"

"Wait, whaaaa…?", Miko was left with her mouth wide-opened.

"Yeah, I don't follow either.", Hector admitted.

Shu chuckled.

"I've been working at BIM on revolutionary new product… A chipset that would make printers smart."

He saw the still befuddled looks on his audience.

"Don't you hate it?!", he suddenly burst with anger, "'Paper jam' error when the paper is fine, 'No cyan' when there's plenty of it… My chip would have fixed all of these stupid problems…"

"You know, guys, as far as villain speeches go, I'm with him", Miko admitted.

He sighed.

"But I needed help… I've heard about your chips with some extra 'Oomph'… And it worked! But then BIM barged in and told me to turn it into a stupid chess machine… They took my life's work… But now-"

"Oh, wait! I know what's going to happen.", Hector interrupted and spread his arms, pointing to the floor.

"I mean, look around! We are in a room dedicated to computer chess! Even the floor is a chessboard. So, we play a game and we take places of three pieces, and-"

His excitement was cut shortly by Miko putting her hand on his shoulder and shaking her head.

"Oh, High Five… Seriously, you're referencing those movies? First of all, this bit has already been done in a waaay better cartoon…"

"Books, they were books firs-Wait, what do you mean by 'cartoon'?"

"Secondly, have you read what this woman has been posting on-line?", Zahra approached him from the other side.

"She is persona very much non grata…",she said performing a slicing motion around her neck.

"And thirdly", Shu's voice suddenly brought the three's attention back to him.

"I do not want to play chess…" Professor Shu was now sitting on a small seat between the two towers… Which slowly began to slide towards each other.

At first, it looked like Shu was going to be crushed, but the side panels moved aside and the boards inside each half started folding itself to accommodate for Shu's figure.

Before they could do anything, the two halves closed like an enormous, obsidian sarcophagus, engulfing Shu inside.

"…I want you to die", Shu finished.

The blue energy shield enveloped Shu in his machine, but it was what happened later that flabbergasted the Techs.

BlueThought rose into the air, growing plixelated legs from its joined pedestals, while each side sported arms ending with cannons aimed at the three teenagers.

"Guys, duck!", Hector shouted just as the robot's armed became encased in even brighter aura, charging their shots.

An explosion shook the building when the projectiles hit the place Zahra, Miko and High Five stood just a second ago. Hidden behind a wall, the three only had a moment to formulate a plan, listening as the machine slowly approached them.

"It's invincible! The whole machinery!", Zahra stated.

"Game over, man, game over!", Miko yelled when another blast shot a column next to them.

"Machinery…", Hector suddenly scratched his chin, "Well, it's time to respec!"

He punched a few buttons on his gauntlet and changed from wizard into an elf-like ranger with ludicrously ornamented bow… and fake, pointy ears.

"What are you doing?!"

"The pedestals! They had some physical lock! We can split it in half again!"

"And can you make the shot?"

Hector chuckled.

"Guys, I killed hundreds of dragons as prophecised Skyborn…"

He stood up, took a deep breath, drew his bow and leapt from their safety spot to the now-broken column.

"…this is a cake-walk."

He released the arrow mid-jump and a second later, he heard a satisfying metallic "cling" when the lock underneath the unshielded two halves of BlueThought became undone.

And when when he gracefully landed behind the column, the Glitch Techs were blessed with the sight of their enemy stumbling in place, as it became split open.

They cheered, but their enthusiasm was thwarted by two noises: a sparkling of electricity… and Shu's scream.

The two halves of BlueThought, though immobile, became linked with what looked like a net of constant sparks of electricity… one in which professor Shu was trapped in, still in his seat, at least until he f`ell backwards.

"We've got to help him!", Zahra rushed in, now the robot had no one to control it.

"That was easy. Good quick-thinking and nice shot!", Miko playfully punched Hector in his arm.

"He's alive.", Zahra stated, having checked Shu's pulse, "I'm gonna call 911, and you-"

But she didn't have time to end verbalising her plan when she heard an ominous, metallic "clunk" behind her back. She quickly turned around only to watch as the almost-split robot becomes sentient and mobile again, once more aiming its cannons at them.

"Oh, shoot, phase two, guys!"

Another blast hit the floor next to the three, forcing them to rush to the nearest corner.

"AH!"

Second explosion, from much more precise shot above their heads, and only thanks to Zahra's shield they were saved from falling concrete.

"Run!"

The three had to save their lives, but as they approached the exit, one of the columns fell right in front of them.

"Guys, we need to stop it! Otherwise we're toast!"

"Well then, eat some portals!"

Miko shouted, pointing her portal pistol to make the robot stumble into a hole she'd create… and watched in awe as the BlueThought effortlessly evaded it, continuing to waddle towards them.

"Uh, got any more arrows?"

By the time Miko asked, Hector has already sent a dozen of them towards the robot and screamed when BlueThought grabbed a piece of concrete from the floor and used Miko's portalled surface to send the arrows towards him.

Only Zahra's plixelated shield allowed them to duck and hide behind another colossal computer that has been toppled to the ground, giving them another second to catch breath.

"It's the Fishstick! It really can learn fast!"

"We need to unplug it!"

"Okay, so how to defeat a robot with the smartest thing ever in its seat?", Hector asked, outshouting another explosion.

And as he said so, a faint smile appeared on Miko's face. She brought her gauntlet, and to her friends' surprise, she summoned Ally.

"Zahra, remember the Turk?", she suddenly asked.

"Miko, there's time and place-", she yelled, keeping her shield up, with blasts exploding all around them.

"Well… what happens, if instead of a chess master you put the biggest chess dummy in?"

Miko continued, and hopped onto Ally's back.

Next second, both Zahra and Hector cried "NO!", as they both realised Miko's plan. She jumped from behind the makeshift barricade and rushed towards BlueThought.

"Remember guys…", Miko spoke, as she swiftly dodged the projectiles. She and Ally jumped to left and avoided two more rays by speeding forward. But Miko knew her luck can only last so long.

"I'm not a knight…", she spoke, hugging her bird, before she jumped into the air, watching as her partner gets trapped in a net, knowing her pain will only last a while.

"I'm just a pawn.", she finished, landing in the chair between two halves of BlueThouhgt.

Zahra and High-Five both shouted "No!" as Miko was engulfed by the two moving halves, but it was too late to change her mind.

Miko screamed, as she landed in the chair, blue sparks of electricity shooting through her. Zahra and Hector listened to it in horror, not knowing what was worse - their friend's agony… or the total silence that fell when the two halves fully entombed her.

Miko felt the pain only for a second,and then… she saw only darkness.

But then, out of the void came a voice.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

It was neither male, nor female, and it reached Miko only from her left side.

"Me? Who are you?"

"Wait, are you number one?", a second disembodied voice spoke, this time from the right.

"Heck yeah I am!", Miko burst, "At kicking your butts-wait, where do you have butts?"

"She is…", the first voice spoke again, "You are loss, aren't you?"

"What? I'm not lost, I'm exactly where I want to be!"

"No, I meant-"

"I'm inside you, so I can destroy you from inside! You haven't thought of that, huh!"

"Wait!", the second voice tried to intervene, but it was too late.Miko cracked her knuckles, and suddenly, the insides of the machine woke up to life, becoming encased in blue light.

"So let's start a new game…", Miko spoke, and the chessboard appeared in front of her, Pawn to… V26 - the Whojiwhatsit's opening!!"

"That is not a legal move!", the voices roared.

But it was too late. One of the pawns immediately flew off-screen.

"Next thing… The towers aren't tall enough! I put one tower on top of the other one!"

"Stop!"

"The Bishops… ooh, let's add some controversy, turns out they are in love!"

"How do you even-"

"The knight is a spy! Pawns are on strike, demanding better payment from the queen! The queen abdicates!", Miko kept shouting, watching as figures glitched and demolished the chessboard, sending more sparks everywhere.

"Please, for the love of Shannon-"

"And finally", Miko cracked her knuckles, "I want to upgrade my horse into a pegasus!"

It was an utter chaos. The figures moved on their own, the board itself cracked, and soon, the entire machine started emitting dangerously sounding, whirring noises.

"Oh, nerds."

Miko uttered theses words just seconds before the blue, electric aura filled the insides and grew, until it erupted, splitting the two halves of BlueThought in powerful explosion.

"MIKO!", Zahra and Hector cried, seeing her body fall back, just like Shu's before, and only thanks to their quick reflexes she did not fall to the floor, but landed in their joined arms.

"I… I really hate chess", Miko muttered, before she passed out, being swallowed by darkness again.

When she opened her eyes, Miko was standing alone on a chessboard, stretching endlessly into all directions of the black void she found herself in.

"Zahra? High-Five?", she shouted into the nothingness that engulfed her. But after taking a few steps, she saw the walls of the enormous room she was in: green, covered in strange, golden patterns.

And then it hit her: those were computer boards, dotted with square microchips, connected by embedded wires. In fact, she has only now realised that squares she's been walking on were processors as well - an endless sea of them…

But a sudden movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she started sprinting towards the left wall. A wall that now had a huge window, with someone moving behind.

"Hector? Zahra?", Miko repeated her plea, but quickly stopped. There was a boy behind, but he was enormous - or at least that's what Miko thought until she saw colorful patterns on the screen, which she understood she was staring at.

Realisation finally hit her again - she was inside an old arcade machine, and she was the size of an ant, looking at a regular-sized kid - a kid, who wasn't doing so well, judging by the words "Game over" that flashed on the screen.

"Dude, give me another quarter.", the boy addressed someone off-screen.

"Billy…you've been playing for hours.", a concerned voice of an older boy reached Miko. "Mom is gonna kill us'"

"Just one more, man! I've almost got it this time!"

The younger boy successfully bullied his brother into giving him money, and a moment later the screen was filled with primitive vector shapes that were meant to resemble spaceships.

But Miko was drawn to one of the microchips in front of her, one that inexplicably was glowing. As she approached it, Miko could read what was written on it: "ADDICTION".

But she was even more frightened when she realised that by walking towards this one, she has inadvertently stepped onto and activated others. The two that blinked under her feet read "HEADEACHES" and "NAUSEA". The results of her blunder could be heard immediately.

"Dude, I-I don't feel-"

The boy, clutching his head and stomach suddenly disappeared from view, but the retching sounds painted Miko quite a vivid picture of what happened there.

"Billy! Bill-oh god…"

"Oh nerds, oh nerds..", Miko muttered, crawling back, until she noticed what button she landed on, which made her sick.

"SEIZURES"

"Billy! Oh god, he's having-! Call 911!"

The furious face of an older boy appeared in front of the screen.

"It's that stupid game! It's all your fault!", he shouted staring directly at Miko.

"I'm sorry!", Miko started apologising, "That was an accident! I-I didn't mean to-"

But the boy did not hear her. Instead, the whole cabinet rumbled when he started punching the screen, cracks showing up with each hit.

Finally, he did it. His enormous fist broke through the glass, and went straight for Miko.

She started running away, but it was no use. The giant fist grabbed her and tossed her back into the black void.

She looked up, watching as the screen got smaller and smaller, until it disappeared completely.

She was falling, deep down the rabbit hole…

But when she finally landed, she thought her fall was quite a soft one.

In fact, she felt rather comfortable.

And then she heard voices again, but this time, very familiar.

"Miko? Miko! Finally, oh my goodness…"

As her eyes got used to the bright environment, Miko found her vision obscured by her parents engulfing her with a tight hug.

"Auch, auch, auch! Not enough disk space!"

"Oh, sorry, honey.", her mom quickly apologised, as the two gave her room to breathe.

She could then fully see the white hospital room she was in, though her eyes were quickly drawn to three other figures in the room.

Zahra, Hector, and to her surprise, Phil, stood at the back, all wearing smiles of deep relief.

"We came as soon we could", her dad explained, "When mister Phil told us about that printer accident."

Miko raised her brow in confusion.

"Printer accident…?"

But as soon as she said it, she noticed Zahra, Hector and Phil silently gesturing her to play along with various degree of subtlety.

"Oh, yes, printer accident! I guess that's what happens when they run out of cyan, magenta AND yellow at the same time. The darnedest things…".

"Listen, honey, we will be back in an hour."

"Meanwhile, here I grabbed something real quick: some spare clothes, some snacks, oh, your Snap, of course..", Miko's mom dropped an enormous bag in her laps, making her wonder what else does she want to bring…

"Th-thanks, guys…"

Phil grunted.

"Uh, mr. and mrs. Kubota…"

Miko's parents redirected their attention towards Phil.

"Thank you, mister Altiere. And thank you once again for helping our Miko."

"As I have said, you don't have to pay a thing. Hinobi is well prepared for compensating workplace accidents. They are very rare, but they do happen. But as I've said, I will take that burden away from you. "

Phil shook hands with Miko's parents, watching closely as they exited the room and disappeared into the elevator at the end of the corridor.

He then locked the door.

"…And by that, I mean I will mind-wipe any insurance agent, because I AM NOT PAYING A DIME FOR WHAT YOU THREE CLOWNS HAVE DONE!", he burst with rage, watching as Zahra, Miko and Hector flinch and cower under his rising voice.

"WHAT THE HINOBI HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING?", he continued his outburst, "That, what, you're gonna go to that museum, guns blazing and catch that Russian fella?"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector raised his hand.

"ZIP IT!", Phil turned his head so fast and shot Hector with glare so icy that the boy fell back.

"M-Mister Phil…", Zahra started, but Phil quickly barged in.

"Oh, don't think 'mistering' me will make things better."

Zahra swallowed loudly.

"Phil, we drove there to offer protection…"

"Oh, that worked like a charm!", he interrupted her, "1 on D20, critical failure: both parts of a priceless computer destroyed!"

"Destroyed?!", Zahra and Hector exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah, burnt to a crisp, nothing to collect. Good thing there was relatively little collateral damage to rest of the exhibit. At least by our standards."

"And what about Shu?"

"Locked in a private room above, a policeman guards him. A policeman I also had to mind-wipe…", Phil hid his face in his hands in shame, "Seriously, have you collectively lost your minds? Have you-"

But at the sound of that word, something stirred in Miko's mind, and she clutched her head, as a wave of migraine radiated through her forehead.

"Wait!", she spoke, gathering the attention of the others. "I-I remember something."

"Remember?", Phil raised his brow, "What do you mean?"

"Well, when I was inside the BlueThought, I heard… voices."

"Voices?", High-Five asked.

"BlueThought did not have voice synthesiser", Phil replied quickly, "Ironically, cos they were all the rage back then."

He stretched his arms and started moving like a robot.

"'SHAll-WE-PLAY-A-GAME?' and all that…", he finished, ending his routine. "But go on…"

"Well…", Miko shied away, somewhat stunned by Phil's quick rebuttal, "I-I'm not sure what was it, but I heard these two voices, and they asked me if I was 'number one' and if I was lost".

She took a deep breath.

"And-and then when I was thrown out I had a dream… more like a nightmare… I was inside an old arcade machine, and that machine was making a kid sick!"

Miko decided to omit the details, still painfully present in her memories.

"And I felt as if I was doing it… does that make any sense?"

She looked at Hector and Zahra, their faces painted with confusion and consternation, but they shook their heads.

But as she moved to Phil, she saw his eyes shift, giving the impression of him doing some quick thinking.

"It was a dream.", he stated, "You've said it yourself. And remember…"

Phil sat at the edge of her bed and gently took her hand.

"Electricity shot through your body, Miko. That would scramble anyone's mind. I am so glad you came out unharmed…", he spoke in much quieter and warmer voice, giving Miko a rare smile.

"Yeah…I guess I am lucky."

Phil stood up, causing the bed to bend back into its proper state.

"Okay, guys, I need to… still clean something up…", he touched his gauntlet, a faint grimace of disgust on his face, "Oh, and speaking of cleaning, you are ALL on floor cleaning duties FOR A MONTH."

He saw disappointment on Zahra's face, but to his surprise, Hector's brightened… though he quickly guessed why.

"And no, you will NOT be able to use your gauntlets to multiply and automatise the brooms, like in that old mouse-and-wizard cartoon…"

Hector's smile, predictably, faded.

"You know, that cartoon is from 1940", Zahra quickly added, "Computers weren't even a thing back then, and it perfectly portraits a glitch caused by badly closed logic loop."

"That's correct, miss Rashid", Phil turned towards her, granting her a polite smile.

But the pleasantries did not last for long.

"Oh, I am sorry, did you think being a smart-ass will get you out of the deal? Dream on. You are still on cleaning duties."

And with that, he turned around and burst out of the room, leaving the three Glitch Techs alone.

For quite a long while, neither of them spoke a word, leaving the room with almost perfectly sterile silence, finally broken by Zahra.

"Well… I guess we should count our blessings", she spoke softly, "We're not fired… nor in jail…".

"Yeah, now mopping the floor sounds good in comparison.", Miko countered.

Zahra and Hector's faces lightened up, hearing her joke. Next thing she knew, Miko was once again almost sapped of breath when the two put her into warm, tight hug, to which this time, she did not object.

"You have no idea how much we have worried…", Zahra spoke, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"But we are so glad you're back!", Hector finished, his voice also cracking slightly mid-sentence.

The three remained locked in the friendly hug, until Hector threw a proposition.

"Hey, since you have your Swap, do you wanna play some Flunkies?"

"Oh, heck yeah!", Miko and Zahra both exclaimed, and all three pulled out the portable consoles.

"I've heard a new DLC is out! They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!"

"So generous…"

And before they knew it, the three teenagers were engaged in fierce battles and trades, having put the stressful memories of the wild and life-threatening adventure well behind…

xxxx

Zahra clutched her head, watching in mix of awe and horror at the destroyed pieces on her side of the board.

"Okay… so, can I fire turrets from my tower?"

"Oh, good move!", Miko complimented her, watching as one of her pawns disintegrated, "But it's not going to help you, because…"

Miko cracked her knuckles.

"I have upgraded my horse into pegasus and it can fly across the board to your king!"

And as she said so, the horse-shaped figure grew wings and flew above Zahra's remaining pieces, knocking her king to its side.

"Check-mate.", she said smugly.

"Well… I'll give you that, this variant of chess is way more tricky than I thought."

"And that is just the tip of the iceberg", Ridley chimed in, speaking through the plixelated screen, "There are tons of mods for this game, just you wait until you see hyperbolic chess…"

"Yea, I'm fine, I will stick with regular chess…"

"Oh, speaking of regulars…"

Miko suddenly jumped from her seat and grabbed Hector that happened to be passing by.

"You two have a game to finish. And start, the more I think about it…".

And she left the two perplexed by her sudden behaviour. Miko fully expected either one of them to chicken out, so she was truly surprised when she heard Zahra's slightly quivering voice.

"Uhm, Hector, I-I've wanted to ask…. WILLYOUGOOUTWITHMESOMETIME?", she blurted, her knuckles getting white from clutching the table.

Hector blinked.

"Go out? Like, on a date?", he added, sheepishly.

"…yes…", Zahra answered, finally allowing herself to breathe.

"Uh, yeah, sure! That would be great. Where would-"

Hector's question was obscured by music from Miko's headphones, as she decided not to overstep the boundaries of her friends anymore. She simply smiled and returned to tagging items before the shop opens.

xxxx

Several hundred feet beneath her, Phil was shaking. Equipped with magnifying telescopic goggles, he examined the many boards of both parts of BlueThought, spread onto dozens of tables as if it was a carcass of unknown species, being dissected and catalogued.

"It can't be…", he muttered to himself, as he took a closer look at the Hinobi chipsets he located. The top was decorated with their old logo, a square divided into four smaller ones.

But it was the text underneath him that made him so horrified.

HINOBI Logic Of Sensory Starvation (L.O.S.S.) #2

He moved across the room to other half of the chess machine, and when he located the twin chipset there, the text read the same, but was indexed with "#3".

With a heavy "thud", Phil sat onto his swivelling chair and pulled the goggles up, revealing widen, bloodshot eyes.

"So SHE is number one…? But how?", he muttered to himself, as thoughts raced and crashed in his mind, producing more questions by the minute.

He grabbed his phone and selected Barbara's number.

But then he remembered the video. The video he's made as a warning to himself.

He remembered all the people, whose minds he had to mess with.

And the he wondered how many he couldn't remember…

No, he'd have to tackle this on his own, he thought.

He grabbed his cup and lifted it to his lips, but realised he's already drunk it all.

This was going to be a long day.

The idea for this fic appeared in my head after watching an episode of "Down the rabbit hole" about the Kasparov vs DeepBlue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwF229U2ba8

It is by no means a required reading, but so much references will become obvious.

However, I will list all the in-jokes here, for completionists.

"Upgrade horse" line, as well as tons of illogical commands later, when Miko is trapped in BlueThought, come as inspiration from BBC Three - Comedy Snacks sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgeYScYe8wI "Megachessatron" still makes me laugh.

Horse armor DLC - allusion to infamous TES 4 Oblivion DLC

Gambi Krasnysledin - stand-in for Kasparov; Gambi from gambit, 'krasny sledz' = red herring (in mangled Russian). Yes I took THAT from Dan Brown's "Aringarosa" character, shoot me.

The Turk: that thing was real https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_Turk

FishStick - parody of open source chess engine StockFish https://stockfishchess.org/

BIM = IBM, obvy.

"BlueJob", allusion to DeepThought's name being apparently read as "DeepThroat"

Gibibytes are real, look them up. Warning: it will get confusing.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" - Pinky & Brain

Prof. Shu = stands-in for Feng-hsiung Hsu https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng-hsiung_Hsu, one of the creators of DeepBlue, who thought about printing controller for Chinese characters: http://archive.computerhistory.org/resources/text/Oral_History/Hsu_Feng_Hsiung/hsu.oral_history_transcript.2005.102657920.pdf

Sorry for making you the bad guy, mr. Hsu.

"Way better cartoon" refers to episode "First temple" of Amphibia, which in turn takes inspiration of chess match from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" by NAME_EXPUNGED.

"Game over, man, game over!" - quote from "Aliens"

Skyborn = Dragonborn from TES 5 Skyrim. Plus Skyborn Altar is a location in the game

Miko makes a proper Knight's move riding Ally (one left, two forward)

"For the love of Shannon" https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_E._Shannon Claude Shannon was a mathematician and early computer scientist, who estimated lower bound of chess games.

The entire Miko's dream refers of course to Polybius, an urban legend arcade machine that was supposed to cause all those horrible effects on children, all in the name of testing new technologies by US Government. Polybius, or Bolypius is supposed to be the final boss of the show.

"Shall we play a game?" is a line from "War Games".

"Mouse-and-wizard cartoon" refers of course to "Sorcerer's apprentice", a Mickey Mouse short from 1940, part of "Fantasia". And I stand by what I put into Zahra's dialogue: this is a prime example of a glitch, I am genuinely surprised GT hasn't referenced it.

Flunkies are of course parody of Pokemon, Swap is Switch, but the line "They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!" is a double joke: on the surface level, it criticises Gamefreak, but it is also a reference to much well executed line in "Craig of the creek". In one episode Craig plays new Smash Bros-knockoff and says that "They have added 50 new characters and only 40 of them are recolours".

And finally… the old Hinobi logo, as well as the name of the chip, is based on loss.jpg.

Because you cannot escape loss.

[laalaaisqueen]

I got distracted so here's a bunch

Lenny, high key offended: you called the soldiers before you called me?

Guardian: I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body??

Lenny: YES

-

Lenny: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Guardian: It was autocorrect.

Lenny: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Guardian: Yes.

-

Lenny: Time for plan G.

Guardian: Don’t you mean plan B?

Lenny: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Tinky Winky: What about plan D?

Lenny: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Robin: What about plan E?

Lenny: I’m hoping not to use it. Finn could get killed in plan E.

-

Lenny, heavy sigh: we're late, it will take us 20 minutes to arrive

Anne: I'll get us there in 15 minutes or less :)

Lenny: NO!

-

Lenny: Snowball, can you help with the buttons of my coat? 

Guardian: Sure, Len. 

Lenny:

Guardian:

Lenny, rolling his eyes: Up, Guardian.

Guardian: Yes, sorry-

-

Guardian: The next time Lenny is angry, I'll drape him in a cape and say, “Now you're super angry."

Guardian: Maybe he'll laugh. Maybe I'll die.

-

(Five years into the Cure AU)

Guardian, to Dipsy and Laa-Laa: Have we learned a lesson from all this?

Laa-Laa: Look, I know you want to hear yes, but given our track record-

-

Guardian: I truly go into housewife mode when I’m someone’s boyfriend, like, I will make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Lenny: This is a lie. Lenny: I am literally dating this man. This is a lie. Lenny: He got his own fluff in the pancake batter and I almost died.

-

Gary: Aren’t you going to say, “Have a nice day?”

Lenny: I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

-

Anne: Can you turn the lights on?

Laa-Laa: I don’t need to. You’re the only light I need in my life.

Anne: Little kitty, I love you, but I can’t see.

-

Anne: Truth or dare?

Lenny: Um..Truth

Anne: Do you-

Guardian: I dare you to kiss me!

Lenny: *seriously confused but kisses him anyway*

Anne, to Conor: He said “truth”, right?

-

Cave: You’re a horrible person! Finn: Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

-

Miles: You gotta look inside yourself and say, "What am I willing to put up with today?"

Miles, pointing at Anne not moving out of the way: NOT FUCKING THIS!!!

-

Miles: I wish I could crawl under your skin so we can be together all the time Anne: nah bro wtf

-

Finn: Top reasons to get married? Guardian: Firmly saying "That's my cute husband!" and knocking someone out in one punch. Finn: ??? Guardian: And love, I guess.

-

Laa-Laa: Are you drinking enough water?

Tinky Winky: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

-

Laa-Laa: oh of COURSE "miss"demeanor and murd"her" are illegal. just admit you hate to see women having fun….

-

Laa-Laa: I saw ye in me dream Dipsy: Was I gettin’ treasure? Laa-Laa: Nay Dipsy: Then t’was not me Extra Tinky Winky, shaking with tears in his eyes: What are you two even saying?!

[snowbanshee]

Because @salternateunreality started it and then it just didn't stop.

What I mostly like about the little S/L ship is how healthily balanced their relationship seems to be. They both seem to be equally powerful, but in different ways.

Lazard is not physically strong, but when it comes to social situations, he’s an expert. The youngest Director in ShinRa, at 23 years old he is already in charge of ShinRa’s most powerful force, SOLDIER and is doing a good job when dealing with other directors, SOLDIERs, the president, etc. People like Domino and Palmer (sometimes even Reeve) do not get much respect because of how soft they are. And SOLDIERs are apparently not above talking shit about people they do not respect (and you might say duuh, well of course Sephiroth would talk badly and openly disrespect Hojo. And in real life I would agree, but in fiction I guess you can only say a character does smth if they’re portrayed doing smth? So yes, Sephiroth will let people know if he disrespects them). So despite being young, poor and unenhanced, Lazard compensates it with social expertise to gain position of power. We can see that when he predicts Genesis’ parents are lying to ShinRa. And once again, in real life one might say duuuh, but in Crisis Core it is shown that Lazard makes a prediction about people’s motives and behavior and even Zack needs an explanation why he made that guess and later it is revealed that Genesis’ parents indeed cannot be trusted as they falsified info about Genesis (that he wasn’t any special from the G cells – Sephiroth finds their falsified reports later in game). So yes, this short game about Zack takes time to point out how well Lazard can read people.

Which brings me to my point: apparently Sephiroth accepts hugs and affirmations if people interpret his needs correctly. I would have never thought Sephiroth lets people hug him when he’s in a sulky vulnerable mood, but here we go.

I think Lazard is much more protective of Sephiroth than vice versa. He is very conventional and modern when it comes to ideas about leadership – mutual respect, trust, good communication. Which had without a doubt severely clashed with everything Sephiroth believed in when he was transferred from prof Hojo to SOLDIER. Of course Lazard’s main goal in life was to end the evil ShinRa corporation and to do it by destroying SOLDIER department. But for that, he had to establish himself as a leader of SOLDIER first. And Sephiroth needed a lot of conditioning to be undone. Lazard is very hands-on leader who wants to see in person how his SOLDIERs are performing their tasks, to personally evaluate their strengths and weaknesses. So imagine Sephiroth returning from a mission where he slept outside in horrible weather for a week because he was given the wrong key, but he didn’t want to complain, because hardships made him stronger. Or being injured and not having the means to return to the base so he’d walk for miles and miles before getting any medical attention. "Pain is good for you!" After finding it out, Lazard would call him to his office and try to gently suggest that maybe instead of hiding the fact that something is wrong, he can trust him and openly discuss it. I imagine Lazard having to explain to Sephiroth such concepts as survivor’s guilt, etc, to tell Sephiroth what he is feeling and why he’s feeling that. And at first it was probably just so Lazard can have Sephiroth as a functioning team member, but in CC it appears to evolve further and Sephiroth goes to sulk in Lazard’s office when things are bad.

Lazard is portrayed to have a lot of empathy and he fights for the greater good. He sacrificed Genesis, Angeal and himself to destroy ShinRa and yes it was a scummy thing to do and he felt a lot of guilt because of it. But imagine an empathetic person who believes in making the right choices being in charge of young Sephiroth. That young man is so broken even Glenn tries to adopt him. FF7 timeline is a mess, but CC lasts for at least 7 years. So I would say S and L know one another for a decade, give or take a couple of years.

Lazard is pretty upset about his father abandoning his mother and him in the slums. For a young fatherless child, slums must have been a very scary place, especially in dystopian hellscape that is FF7. And while he is well adjusted, having someone as strong and loyal as Sephiroth must feel very nice for him.

And Sephiroth never found his mother, but there was this soft and gentle guardian who probably understood his needs better than he ever could.

This is the part where I wipe a tear and say that in another scenario they could have been perfect for one another. Both professional, respected adults, very strong in their own ways, perfectly fulfilling each other’s needs. But Lazard’s main goal was to destroy the evil corporation and Sephiroth was loyal to ShinRa until it was too late.

Genesis: I hate ShinRa, so I will desert and attack it.

Lazard: I hate ShinRa so I will join it and undo it from inside.

Sephiroth: METEOR.

[jedidiahjunior]

What type of Christianity do you follow?

-The Bible kind (eye roll ), Jesus not a man (which I guess is the polite way to say fuck bill got hard), they worship in a baptist church

(Austin makes a quip about how if the mic had a clip he could put it in his beard)

Is Austin still flipping houses?

-No

How many kids do they want?

-4-5, joy doesn’t “feel done” yet

Have you considered moving out of Arkansas?

-Not seriously but if God called them they would (I would love an in-depth explanation of how one knows when God calls one to do something like moving far away …..)

Are they still IBLP?

-No! Never as a couple and they spoke early on in their relationship of not using IBLP “literature” and such. “Have our own relationship with the Lord” -joy

Are they doing a name theme with sons? Gideon, gunner…

-No, Gunner was almost named Bowman James and they didn’t realize both boys wound up with G names until after they’d written gunners birth certificate

Are they going to read jills book?

-Yes! Joys already read jingers book. “If your family member wrote a book about your family would you read it? Duh!”-Austin

Dream vacation?

-Alaska!

What does it mean to put God first in your home?

-Honestly all they answered was just…. Barely coherent. Be the same in the home as in church? Whatever that means? Teach the children about him? That’s not vague. Keep the home pleasing to Him? Give me one (1) specific on how to do that I beg y’all!!! And then there’s a spiel about praying…

Do joy like Austin beard?

-yes but she’s getting bored with it. And then there’s a Totally Healthy banter about how joy was going to shave it of while he was asleep (impossible but ok) but Austin threatened to do the same to her eyebrows so she’s dropped the idea

The key to a successful marriage?

-Fight for your marriage, but fight together and not against each other. Austin is apparently very good at apologizing

Does Gideon like his swim classes?

-yes

What is evelyns favorite song?

-blippi, cocomelon…..

What has Gideon been learning about in Bible time?

-Old Testament stuff! King Solomon and monotheism

What is Gideon’s best joke?

-First he says VBS, then Sir laugh a lots

What does Evelyn want to be when she’s bigger?

-a princess!

[danses-with-dogmeat]

🐍🐕 for sturges? Saw the other person ask for the scenario and ugh it was too good of course I had to ask for more of him

YES. We always need more Sturges in our lives ❤

S) Sad. How do they cheer their s/o up when they are feeling down? How do they like to be cheered up?

Sturges is a damn good listener, and his brain is at its best when he's trying to fix a problem, so for those types of talks, when you need someone to help and give you advice, you can't get much better than him. For those days when you just want to vent, it's best telling him that, so Sturges doesn't keep interrupting you with thoughts on how to help; and when you're just feeling down, when there's no real answer, when you don't really want to talk at all, you should make that clear as well. Once he knows what you need, Sturges is great at doing it, but he usually defers to problem solving, so communication is key.

Though, he is also partial to those days when he can just hold you close and tell you how great you are to try and cheer you up. That often makes him feel better too, even if he was doing fine beforehand.

When he is down though, he's actually not great at talking about it unless you pry. He doesn't realize he's bottling it all up, but he also unconsciously feels like he shouldn't burden you when you're going through so much on your own. When you find you can't get him to talk though, cuddle sessions help a lot for the big softie.

T) Thrill. Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine? 

He's a fan of routine. Though, he won't say no to a new opportunity to make things a little more exciting with your relationship. Sturges likes the domestic feel of having a strong relationship with you, of being able to come home after a long day and feel comfortable knowing what the evening and the next day will entail. It's a bit of a lost practice, the simple routines that he enjoys maintaining, but honestly? This new world could do with a little less excitement a lot of the time.

U) Understanding. How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He tries to be. It's sometimes difficult to put himself in your shoes, since your lives have been so different, but he puts in the effort, that's for sure. As mentioned, Sturges is an excellent listener. He loves hearing your thoughts and listening to you explain your feelings to him on all manner of things. He's just big on honest communication, so that he doesn't have to try and guess as much. Though, when he does guess, he usually ends up being right. It's a sort of superpower he doesn't realize he has. Maybe he's taken a page out of Momma Murphey's book or something, who knows?

R) Reunion. How do they react after being apart from their s/o? How do they cope when they’re away?

Oh, the handy man is used to finding all sorts of things to do. Being on his own isn't anything new, and he trusts that you (especially when you're with Preston) can handle yourself out in the wastes, so he tries not to worry too much. However, he cannot hold himself back whenever you stroll back into Sanctuary unharmed. His face always lights up like a neon sign and he loves scooping you up into his famous big ole' hugs.

Since you're out so often on Minutemen business, Sturges stays glued to your side when you are home. Always out walking with a hand in yours, or an arm around your shoulders when you go out to eat in the evenings, and he even sleeps in late just to keep you tucked cozily in his embrace in the wee hours, when he normally would already be up and at 'em.

G) Gratitude. How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? 

He's appreciative right from the start. All the good you do for him and his group the moment you meet them? That means you're one hell of a person, and that's not at all common these days.

Sturges doesn't squander that at all, he's a gentleman most of the time anyway, but with you, his kindness and gratitude are all the more prevalent. His manners are impeccable, always opening doors and pulling out chairs and finding the prettiest flowers or the best little trinkets he thinks you'll like. He's even bigger on making handmade gifts as well, putting his tinkering talents to good use whenever he has the time and parts to spare to make something you'll truly treasure. And if that's not enough, he tells you all the time as well, all that you mean to him, giving great pep talks when you feel like you're not doing enough, throwing compliments your way any chance he gets, just to see that smile you give him in return. He loves being in love with you, and he knows he's lucky to have your love in return.

E) Equal. Do they prefer to be more dominant or submissive in the relationship?

Sturges is an easy-going sorta fella, so in the relationship, he likes to defer to your preferences and remain on the more submissive side.

In the bedroom though, he can't help taking the reins a bit more. He's definitely a soft dom, but being able to bring you pleasure in his way is very important to him. Especially since he knows how selfless you always are, he likes to give back by making sure you feel good when you're with him. Which usually means giving you pleasure on his terms, rather than yours, since you're always so intent on pleasing everyone else.

S) -- Q) Quality Time. What do they like to do for quality time with their s/o?

He's up for almost anything, so long as he's with you. You wanna go fight back some raiders together? That works. Romantic dinner down by the lake, with Fancy Lads and aged wine? Also perfect.

Although, if he had to choose favorites, it's the more domestic activities. Just existing with one another as you work on projects around the house, lazing around in bed with you as you read or mess with your pip boy, walking hand-in-hand through Sanctuary on a nice evening, all of those are real big soft spots for him.

[empty-pizza]

thoughts on nona the ninth chapters twenty-four and twenty-five

PALAMEDES FUCKING TOOK THE BODY

HOLY SHIT

HE DID IT

HE COMPLETED THE NERD TO JOCK TRANSITION

we might be able to find gideon's body soon. can't wait to find out that none of this works as we expected.

maybe if ianthe read more novels about plucky youths with the power of logic she would have beaten palamedes in the mental battle

so pyrrha suspected nona was dying. honestly i've really enjoyed the way that nona is just, a kind of being that engages with life differently. aware of her own mortality in a way most humans aren't, yet enjoying every moment she can and always curious about the next moment.

damn we really might be about to find the body. key to a door, last thing left of wake, and possibly nona.

lol the blood wards are so weak they could only even kill one of nona's hands

hey it's her

got that potentially selfcest kiss in

kinda anticlimactic

is what i said until i finished the chapter what the FUCK gideon is here what the FUCK bingus bongus zinkus zonkus idk where this is going now, so maybe Nona really is just Harrow's mind in a weird state, or maybe she's Something Else, who fucking knows

let's read the next one

this is

gideon with more confidence than usual, i think, maybe, i dunno, it's been a while. i guess she kinda wasn't allowed to be outgoing during most of book 1 but idk. it's still a weird level of confidence for the situation. or not. idk.

so john just

brought gideon back

and this entire time she's just been hanging around as the daughter of big g

this makes me kind of mad, because i think how gideon and john would react to each other is super interesting and i wish we got a book that showed us more of that

but she goes by kiriona gaia now

and she's dead

but like, what

this isn't right

this is not right

the real gideon would care way more about finding harrow again

but what if she does, and this situation is just so fucking weird and i'm missing the contxt

what happened to her

she calls nona a fake nonagesimus

i'm gonna be honest, i like nona more than i like gideon and harrow, so if i have to say goodbye or fuck you to either of the OGs, i'm willing to if it means staying on team nona

gideon would not be this mean to someone as innocent as nona!!! don't tell nona to shut up!

what's going on in the river right now

kiriona wants to go to the ninth?

As emotionally frustrating as this is, I think this is probably the most interesting way to answer the mystery of finding Gideon again. That we find her, but she's not who we wanted her to be anymore. And the question of who Nona is can be something more complicated than just, Gideon or Harrow. A simpler reveal would honestly just feel flat.

her motivation being just to kill the boredom could make sense, but like... she just doesn't feel right. Where's the Gideon that cared?

But did she really ever care about anything that wasn't hot girls, fighting, and Harrow?

Is this how she always looked from the outside?

I don't think so (she wouldn't have been so mean to Nona) but they're questions worth asking. And I believe Nona that Kiriona is lying.

Maybe it's not a real Gideon. Or is intentionally corrupted in some way by John. Maybe this is all part of a big plan to sabotage the attempt to get into the tomb. Give them who they think they need, but she'll betray them.

hmm. can't take her blood. could just be a general defensive measure. or could be a way to force BoE to need to take the woman with them personally.

Honestly though, if we were building to a "not the real gideon" twist, if it was purely a fake, then it would actually try to hide it. I think that, like it or not, this is who John made his daughter into. Dick move ngl.

Nona had never seen anyone so sad in her whole short life. It made her nearly afraid to die.

damn

man this was some shit