#hands down the only one that has stuck in my mind so strongly for so long

[chilling-seavey]

Dreamland (ln4) - Part Three

↳ A/N Idk where my mind went when I wrote this but I'm almost embarrassed to post it because it's so filthy- Please comment something nice so I don't regret everything and delete these 7.7k words of pure sin LOL

↳ Inspired By: 'Late Night Talking' by Harry Styles

↳ Summary: Ever since your night together in your hotel room, Lando can’t seem to get you off his mind

↳ Pairings: Fanboy Lando Norris x Famous!Author!Fem!Reader (NO use of y/n), University Student Lando x Internet Friend George x Internet Friend Alex

↳ Word Count: 7.7k

↳ Warnings: 18+, NSFW, sexting, dirty talk gets really super nasty, sending nudes, Lando's so incredibly down bad

PART TWO || PART FOUR

It had been twenty-two days since Lando lost his virginity to you in that Bristol hotel room and ever since, he only thought about you more than he had before. Everything was you as if he couldn’t get enough, having given his trust into the hands of the woman of his dreams, and he was so far past attached that even he himself did not realize the extent of his borderline dependency. He played it cool with you through Instagram dms here and there since your night together and every time he received a notification with your Instagram account handle and a simple little message, he would be grinning ear to ear. 

It had been sixteen days since Lando turned twenty-one. Usually he would message you first since you were still on your book tour and quite busy, but on his birthday you had sent him something early that morning. His only wish was to have more of you…to have all of you, for life. He even made that wish over his birthday cake as he blew out the candles. His sisters took some pictures of him so he could post them for his birthday and you were one of the first people to like them. You made his insides feel so warm and you did so unknowingly. 

It had been three days since Lando moved out of the dorms and back into his parents house. Three days and he was already going crazy. The freedom of the dorms was refreshing but being stuck back at home under his parents’ rules felt suffocating to the now twenty-one year old. Between the curfew, chores, and annoyance from his siblings, Lando was nearly ready to re-pack his suitcase and book a ticket on the next flight out…if only he had more than $14 to his name. His family just didn’t get it. Not like you did. 

“We pay a lot of money for you to go to school and we don’t like seeing you wasting your time and throwing it away.” his mother explained as gently as she could over dinner that evening. 

Lando, elbow on the table and chin in his hand, swatted the last bit of his supper around his plate with his gaze downcast, “I’m not throwing it away.” 

“Well you’re certainly not trying.” his father replied. “Your grades are proof of that.” 

Lando dropped his fork to the plate with a clatter and his three siblings glanced over at him from around the table without a word, listening to him be ridiculed by their parents and waiting for his hostile defences, “It’s not my fault that I’m not as good as the rest of the students! I pull as many late nights as they do but their work is just better.”

“Have you sought out extra help from your professors or the tutoring centre?” his mother offered. 

“God!” Lando tisked in frustration and slouched back in his chair, “I don’t care!” 

“Exactly. You don’t care,” his father agreed seriously, “Your GPA is astronomically low and you’re threatened with academic probation because of it. If you flunk out you will be paying your mother and I back every cent that has gone towards tuition and housing.” 

“This isn’t even what I want to do!” Lando retorted strongly, “I want to, like, go into arts and design…or something.” 

“That’s not a stable career, Lando, come on. We’ve discussed this.”

His mother added, her voice attempting to be gentle, “We went out on a limb with your attempt at the racing and karting stuff and look where that got you? We want to support you, love, but we can’t keep taking financial risks. We still have to get your sisters through university too.”

“What if I had an opportunity to design book covers for a really well known author?”

His family all looked over at him. There was a beat of silence. 

“Do you?” his father inquired, honestly curious. 

Lando dropped his gaze to his plate and crossed his arms over his chest, “Well…not yet.” 

His younger sisters snickered into their forks. 

He glared over at them but recovered quickly at the defence, “But when I met that author that I like at her book signing last month I pitched the offer and she seemed really interested.” 

“Oh my God, here we go.” his youngest sister rolled her eyes. 

“Lando-” his mother started. 

“No, listen-” Lando huffed, “When she gets back to Monaco she’s going to help me get a job…she said so. Something where I can do what I really truly like.”

His parents exchanged flat expressions that had his face falling. 

“She will.” he pressed. 

His father held a hand up to stop him, “You gotta stop living your daydream, son. Come on.” 

“It’s not a daydream!” Lando protested. “Why can’t you guys support me?”

“We don’t want to see you struggling, Lando.” his mother said, “We want you to have a fulfilling life.”

“Yeah, they don’t want you unemployed and living in their basement until you’re middle aged.” his older brother added with a smirk. 

Lando glared over at him, “Says you.” 

Their two sisters “ooo”ed. 

“Regardless of what you think your future is going to look like, you need to better yourself in the present.” his mother continued. 

“Which means focusing more on your degree when the next term comes around…and getting a full time job in the meantime.” his father finished. 

“I don’t want to go back to school.” Lando grumbled. 

“Oh really? What’s your alternative plan?” 

“She’s gonna get me a job-”

“Oh my God.” his middle sister laughed, “You’re dropping her name like you’re besties.” 

Lando clenched his jaw, biting his tongue to smother the dirty truth to answer with the more innocent response, “We talk every day.” 

“She’s being nice.” his mother said gently, “She’s being nice to one of her fans.” 

Lando knew his family didn’t understand but the simple words from his mother sent his heart aching. In all honesty, it had been a few days since you had conversed and Lando had been starting to overthink every reason as to why you had left him on ‘seen’. He could have bet money on the fact that you would never use him and drop him…that your night together was more than just a one night stand…but maybe he was getting too ahead of himself. 

His father only dug the blade farther into his chest, “She is a stranger whom you think you know. She doesn’t owe you anything. She is not going to be your free pass into having a life you don’t need to work for and she is not going to come sweep you off your feet to rescue you from your failing grades. You are twenty-one years old now, Lando, and it’s about time you start acting like a grown man and get your shit together before life runs you over.” 

Lando threw his napkin onto the table and stood up so quickly from his chair that the cutlery rattled on the table when he bumped against it, his throat burning from how he tried to swallow back his anger, muttering under his breath before he stormed off, “I can’t wait to get out of this fucking house.” 

His mother called after him warningly, “Don’t think that just because you’re twenty-one now doesn’t mean we can’t still ground you!” 

Lando took the stairs two at a time and when he turned the corner at the top of the stairs into his bedroom, he slammed the door behind him and locked it. It was a dangerous balance between anger and heartbreak and Lando paced his room while taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. 

After the freedom that living in the dorms provided, it was hard to return to his house where his parents still ruled. Once he had that taste of independence - a taste of life with you - it was horribly difficult to fit himself back into the little bedroom in which he grew up and grew out of his small suburban town. He didn’t have a bad relationship with his family at all but the reintegration of him back into their house made tensions feel insufferable sometimes. His parents were always on him and he already wanted to escape.

Sitting down on the side of his double bed, Lando pulled out his phone and opened Instagram to send his frustrations to his group chat with his two closest friends. 

landonorris: I need to get the fuck out of this stupid house and get to Monaco like NOW landonorris: I’m gonna lose my fucking mind alex_albon: Oh no what happened  landonorris: My parents are on my arse about school and work and they don’t get it georgerussell63: Don’t get what? landonorris: That I already am on track to get the one thing I want and it’s not being a stupid accountant georgerussell63: You have us for that alex_albon: Yeah we’re always going to support your dreams mate landonorris: I just want HER landonorris: That’s all landonorris: And she promised me a job designing for her books landonorris: It’s going to be real landonorris: It has to be alex_albon: It will be alex_albon: It won’t happen overnight but it will be landonorris: I just want to get out of this house landonorris: It’s so fucking embarrassing living with my parents georgerussell63: Hey we all live with our parents georgerussell63: Are you saying Alex and I aren’t cool georgerussell63: Rude alex_albon: Yeah what the hell mate alex_albon: 🤨 landonorris: Noo it’s different landonorris: You guys aren’t trying to get a self-sufficient borderline famous Monaco woman landonorris: No one like her is going to want some muppet like me who lives at home with his parents  georgerussell63: She clearly does alex_albon: Besides, this is just a temporary stop until you find your own place alex_albon: You’re being resourceful…saving your money georgerussell63: Has she said anything recently? You haven’t told us much these last few days alex_albon: Do we even want to know what she’s been saying? 👀 landonorris: Nothing landonorris: That’s it landonorris: Nothing georgerussell63: Wdym?? landonorris: I messaged her the day I moved back home just to make casual conversation that I moved out of the dorms and she said something like ‘that's nice’ and then when I replied again she just left me on seen alex_albon: Oh georgerussell63: Why?? landonorris: Idfk but I’m stressing so bad over it landonorris: Like what if my parents are right and she just sees me as a fan and nothing more georgerussell63: She took your virginity mate I don’t think she’d be the kind of person to just drop you after that alex_albon: Maybe she’s busy with work. Isn’t she still on tour? landonorris: Her book tour ended yesterday. She should be home now alex_albon: So maybe give her a day or two? Maybe she needs some time to relax after traveling the entire continent of Europe landonorris: Idk landonorris: I miss her georgerussell63: Message her again landonorris: Idk I don’t want to be annoying  alex_albon: Ask for your virginity back landonorris: OMFG georgerussell63: Excuse me mommy can I have my virginity back 🥺🥺🥺🤲🏼🤲🏼🤲🏼 alex_albon: EW GEORGE landonorris: GOEREG STOP georgerussell63: HAHJJKKPFJFJG  georgerussell63: That’s one way to get her to answer you  alex_albon: No that’s how you get blocked landonorris: Lol funny you think I’m the sub tho landonorris: Anyways alex_albon: Pff georgerussell63: Oh yeah with all that experience you have alex_albon: OOF ROASTED landonorris: WOW landonorris: That one night was ENOUGH tbh landonorris: Jeeeezus georgerussell63: Ya those marks you had were fuckin brutal mate alex_albon: In the best way ofc landonorris: YEAH landonorris: I KNOW

Lando flopped backwards on his bed with a smile he struggled to bite back, his worries distracted by his internet friends and the mere memory that was your night together so many days before. 

landonorris: God I miss her so fucking much landonorris: How has it almost been a month georgerussell63: Back to celibacy for you georgerussell63: Rip landonorris: I actually hate it here alex_albon: Just message her  alex_albon: Just a ‘hey’ or something landonorris: Ew that’s cringe alex_albon: ??? How landonorris: Idk georgerussell63: Be like ‘hey how was the rest of your tour’ landonorris: Make me sound any more like a grandma 🙄 alex_albon: Mate georgerussell63: Or tell her you miss her georgerussell63: Girls like that kinda thing alex_albon: Like you would know what girls like 🤨 georgerussell63: 🖕🏼🖕🏼 alex_albon: ‘Hey I’ve been thinking about our night 😏’ landonorris: Brooo landonorris: I wanna sext with her so bad georgerussell63: 😂😂 alex_albon: Oh but just ‘hey’ is cringe okay landonorris: Maybe I’ll send that landonorris: Idk landonorris: Should I? landonorris: Is it too much? landonorris: After being left on seen for two days idk georgerussell63: Go for it georgerussell63: She literally let you come inside her georgerussell63: I think this is nothing compared to that alex_albon: An odd comparison but a valid one there, GR georgerussell63: Hey thanks mate landonorris: Should I?? georgerussell63: Yeah it’s just reminding her that she’s on your mind which is a good thing alex_albon: And it’s not too hot and heavy right off the bat alex_albon: If she responds with something flirty back then who knows landonorris: Or she’ll leave me on seen again and I’ll have to die of embarrassment  georgerussell63: Omg alex_albon: Nah she won’t. Send it georgerussell63: Right now

Lando exhaled deeply and sat up again on the side of his bed as he exited the group chat to find his dm thread with you. It wasn’t too far down on his list since he didn’t talk to many people other than Alex and George and when he opened it up, the little grey ‘seen’ nearly slapped him across the face. He pursed his lips in thought and let his thumbs wave over the keyboard, debating what to say. 

He finally drafted something quickly,

Hey…been thinking about our night recently 

He screenshotted it before he sent it and then shared the image to his group chat. 

landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Is this fine? georgerussell63: Add an emoji alex_albon: Yeah maybe a heart or something

Lando swiped back to his thread with you and added a heart to the end,

Hey…been thinking about our night recently 🧡

He sent that screenshot to the group chat.

landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Maybe? alex_albon: Yes I think that’s good georgerussell63: Yesss now send it landonorris: Ahh idk is that too annoying?  georgerussell63: Blimey mate why are you suddenly all flustered like a teenage girl lol georgerussell63: You’ve literally already slept with her georgerussell63: The hard part is over alex_albon: ^^^ alex_albon: Send it alex_albon: Sendddd it georgerussell63: Send it!!!!

Lando sighed and sat up on his bed again as he exited out of the group chat and opened his thread with you once more. The notifications from his internet friends kept popping up at the top of the screen in silent encouraging cyber chants to get him to send the message. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous exactly. Maybe he had spent too much time dreaming about you that he didn’t want to let one measly message fuck up his one fleeting chance at having you. 

His thumb hesitated over the send button for a moment, debating and overthinking. He got up and paced his room a little, staring at the unsent message and going through every possible situation in his head like it was the last decision he would ever make. With a slightly dramatic huff, he closed his eyes and tapped the send button hurriedly. 

He exited the chat and opened his group chat in a panic.

landonorris: OKAY I SENT IT landonorris: AHHH landonorris: Gonna throw my phone out the window now georgerussell63: GOOD JOB alex_albon: YES georgerussell63: Now we wait 😌 landonorris: For a miracle  georgerussell63: You already had your miracle georgerussell63: That was your night together alex_albon: She’s going to answer Lan dw

Lando didn’t leave his room all night because the concept of facing his family after his slightly immature and dramatic blow up over their inability to see his side of things felt like the worst idea ever. Instead, he dabbled with a few new doodles in his notebook that were infused with thoughts of you and when that got boring, he turned to one of your books for his usual go-to entertainment. His friends were busy with their families and it wouldn’t be until they were ready to sleep that they would reconnect. 

Because of their lack of conversation that evening, Lando was trying to do everything in his power to keep his mind away from his sent message to you. The one that you still hadn’t replied to. The more time that passed the more anxious he got until he had no choice but to dive into your fictional universes as some sort of escape, his phone hiding under his pillow and out of sight. 

His eyes were glued to the page and every carefully printed word as what always happened when he opened one of your novels. The steamy scene in front of him had his hands clutching the hardcover book tightly, spread out comfortably on his bed, and your honest words only brought him back to his own very real recollection of your magical night that you shared almost a month prior. The chapter ended before the scene got too far and Lando huffed and shut the book and tossed it onto his night stand, letting his head rest back against his headboard so he was staring up at the ceiling. 

By that point in the night, it was dark outside and his room was illuminated by only the light of his bedside lamp. He had heard his siblings heading to their own rooms over the prior few hours and eventually heard his parents head to bed too. No one bothered him; probably not wanting to push his buttons with any wrong move. Things would smooth over by morning. 

But Lando didn’t feel at ease at all and it was solely due to the fact that he was scared to death that you were ignoring him. He could only pray that his one message didn’t ruin all that he had dreamt of. 

When the city of Bristol passed into 9pm, Lando checked his phone one last time. Only a few messages from his group chat were waiting for his response. Nothing from you. 

alex_albon: Ok finally done the movie alex_albon: My family wanted to analyze the whole damn thing alex_albon: My sister doesn’t know a thing I stg georgerussell63: Omg we just finished too georgerussell63: I totally demolished my nephew on F1 2021 ngl alex_albon: Ayy the kid didn’t stand a chance alex_albon: Who’d you play as? georgerussell63: Max Verstappen alex_albon: Hell ya les gooo georgerussell63: Did you hear people say he be might be world champion this year?? alex_albon: And beat out Lewis?? Idk… georgerussell63: If my parents had actually let me kart and I made it to F1 I bet I’d be able to beat out Lewis lol imagine alex_albon: Kinky georgerussell63: Ew???? landonorris: George you’d get like 15 points MAXIMUM georgerussell63: That’s so rude alex_albon: Omg Lan hi alex_albon: Did she answer?? landonorris: Nopeee landonorris: I’m gonna kms 😀 georgerussell63: Nooo! georgerussell63: Give her time alex_albon: It’s only been like alex_albon: Three hours… landonorris: Ugh alex_albon: But I gotta sleep  landonorris: Ughhhh georgerussell63: Same georgerussell63: I’m helping my dad run some errands tomorrow so we have to be up early for whatever reason alex_albon: Damn I just have to sleep because I’m tired alex_albon: I’m literally doing nothing tomorrow georgerussell63: Your usual landonorris: Lol alex_albon: Lando you’re so dry its weirding me out landonorris: Sorry landonorris: 🧡 landonorris: Love u mate landonorris: Sleep well alex_albon: Thanks mate alex_albon: Praying that you get a reply by morning georgerussell63: Me too! alex_albon: Love yall georgerussell63: Love u ♥️

Lando locked his phone and tossed it onto his bedsheets, deciding to get himself a snack since he didn’t finish his dinner. It would be at least something to take his mind off his worries. With his family already in their rooms, he could navigate his house without interruption and he tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen silently. 

Glass of water and a handful of chocolate chip cookies in hand, Lando returned to his room and shut the door behind him. One cookie resting between his lips and his hands full with the rest of the stack and his drink, he headed over to his bed once more. His phone screen lit up just as he approached and the notification that was greeting him had the half bitten cookie falling out of his mouth and onto his bedsheets. 

He hurriedly set the glass of water and discarded cookies on his night stand, brushing the crumbs out of his bed as he sat down and re-read the Instagram notification from you. 

-Hey you 💕 I’ve been thinking about it too

Lando unlocked his phone and let his thumbs word a response for him without letting himself overthink it,

landonorris: Was wondering if you forgot about it! Haven’t heard from you in a bit

His message was delivered and opened right away, meaning you were waiting for his response in the chat. That fact had him biting back his bashful smile, but his nervousness still lingered over what your answer was going to be. This could have been the moment you would shut him down for good. 

-Omg never! -Tour ended yesterday and the flight from Miami was crazy…delayed…they lost my luggage…and then after a hefty sleep last night I’ve spent today picking up my retrieved bags and then unpacking and I was just at lunch with my friends

Lando let out an audible sigh in relief,

 landonorris: That’s okay  landonorris: Good to be home? -Very -Tour was fucking incredible but this break is going to be nice  landonorris: Yeah for sure -Did you really think I forgot about you just like that?  landonorris: No I just wanted to make sure you were okay  landonorris: It’s been a few days -You’re a sweetheart -I’m just fine  landonorris: I’m glad 🧡 -But tell me… -What had you wanting to remind me about our night?  landonorris: Nothing in particular  landonorris: Was just missing you a little -A little?  landonorris: …Yes -Mhmm -Well you may keep your pride here all you want but I won’t be afraid to admit that I missed you quite a lot  landonorris: Oh really?  landonorris: You?  landonorris: Miss Monte Carlo? -Oh please -I’m the least Monaco that Monaco can get -And we had something special that night -I don’t throw that around lightly  landonorris: Yeah…  landonorris: Okay…  landonorris: You got me  landonorris: I miss you a lot  -The truth comes out 😌  landonorris: I’ve been re-reading your novels because I miss you :) -Omg really 🥺🥺 -Which?  landonorris: Second novel…chapter eight… -I see 👀 -So that’s what had you thinking about our night 

Lando slouched back against his headboard with a blushing grin that he hid in the material of the collar of his forest green hoodie. He contemplated his response but saw that you were already typing so he waited. 

-Which part were you thinking of most?

His teeth sunk into his bottom lip carefully with what you were smoothly instigating and his mind rushed back to each piece of your night together that had thrived in his memory ever since. He didn’t know how strong to start off so he played it cool,

 landonorris: All of it  landonorris: Kissing in the elevator  landonorris: And in the hotel room -Just kissing?  landonorris: Well you’re an incredible kisser  landonorris: And I fucking loved kissing you -I loved kissing you too -Your lips are so soft  -And your hands on my body felt so good -I miss that a lot -The way you grabbed me  landonorris: I should have done more of that -That’s okay -Next time 🥰

Lando had to toss his phone onto his bed for a second so he could roll over and scream into his pillow out of sheer lustful glee. He was so smitten for you and all his worries were completely erased by the simple reassurance from you that you had been thinking about doing it all again. 

 landonorris: For sure  landonorris: When and where -Sometime this summer maybe -But we can plan later -I want to hear more about what you miss about me first  landonorris: Okay 🧡  landonorris: I miss your body  landonorris: And the way it felt under my hands  landonorris: Your hips…your ass…your tits…  landonorris: So fucking perfect -I swear you’d be so good at body worship  landonorris: Fuck baby I’d gladly worship you anyday -Yeah? 🥰 -How?  landonorris: I want to take your clothes off and kiss over every inch of your body   landonorris: Just breathe you in  landonorris: Trail every curve with my lips or my finger just so every part of you has been touched by me -That sounds so good -And then?  landonorris: You sure you wanna know? -Tell me everything -Don’t hold back  landonorris: I want to spread your legs and taste you -Oh my God  landonorris: Is that okay? -Yeah lol I’m sorry that just made my pussy throb  landonorris: Jesus  landonorris: Did it?? -Yess -I’m an author, words speak wonders to me  landonorris: No pressure lol -Never any pressure with me baby -Tell me more -Just spill your thoughts here  landonorris: I just wanna know what you taste like because I didn’t get to last time  landonorris: You might have to guide me -That’s okay baby -I can lace my fingers in your pretty brown hair and show you where I need you  landonorris: Fuck yes please  -So I can feel your warm tongue all over my pussy -Inside me -On my clit -Feeling you so fucking close  landonorris: I’d kill for your legs over my shoulders right now  landonorris: I really really really want you to show me how to eat you out  landonorris: Making you come on my mouth would be so fucking hot -Yes sir

Lando’s mouth literally fell open in shock, his heart racing in his chest at how quickly this conversation turned exactly to how he had imagined it in his most salacious dreams.

 landonorris: And I fucking loved hearing the way you called me sir  landonorris: That fucking did it for me baby -It was your idea and it was a genius one -It got me off too -Honestly I catch myself moaning out that title when I make myself cum now  landonorris: You think of me? -Yeah I think of you when I touch myself  -Every time  landonorris: Often? -Couple times a week -And right now

Lando blinked at his phone screen in disbelief, trying to picture you in your pricey Monaco apartment and warm in your bed in limited clothing and touching yourself while you spoke with him. His dick twitched in his sweats and he dropped a hand down to palm himself lazily over his growing erection. You sent another message,

-Do you think of me?  landonorris: Always have  landonorris: Only ever you -You’re so fucking cute -God I miss you  landonorris: I’m getting hardddd lol -Good hehe -Are you touching yourself too?  landonorris: Do you want me to? -That’s for you to decide sir -Do you want me to help make you cum?   landonorris: Fuck yes -Okay then strip down and keep talking to me  landonorris: Ok gimme a sec

Lando tossed his phone to the side so he could hurry to push down his pants and boxers in one go, letting them drop to the floor carelessly. His sweater joined the pile, leaving him slouched back against his pillows and the headboard in the warm light of his bedside lamp, his legs spread just slightly. He returned to your conversation, 

 landonorris: Okay  landonorris: What else do you want to know? -Talk to me more about eating me out -Have you thought about it a lot?  landonorris: Yeah baby  landonorris: I dream about it too sometimes  landonorris: I can still hear your gorgeous little whimpers and the way you moan my name and I just want to feel you grinding up against my face and helping me to make you feel so good  landonorris: But I really wanna know how you taste -Want me to describe it?  landonorris: Yes -It’s sweet -But not like candy -It’s more of a warm kind of flavour that tastes salacious -And it drips everywhere and soaks everything -It would get all over your mouth and your chin  landonorris: Fuck  landonorris: I want that  landonorris: And I want to wrap my arms around your thighs so you can’t get away from me and I can feel all of you all over me, just covering me in your wetness  -It’s all for you sir -I’d link my ankles around your shoulders to keep you there too  landonorris: Hands pulling at my hair -Yes please  landonorris: Show me how you want me to touch you  landonorris: Pull me to where you need me -Suck on my clit  landonorris: Whatever you need baby  landonorris: Can I finger you too?  -At the same time pleaseeee  landonorris: I can do that landonorris: My mouth on your clit and two fingers inside you  -Fuck that’d make me moan so loud -Just the idea of your fingers flicking inside me is making my legs shake -I need it  landonorris: How fast? -Slow. I want to make it last  landonorris: Of course  landonorris: And if you’re a good girl for me I’ll let you cum twice -Fuck how can I be your good girl sir  landonorris: Let me have my way with you  landonorris: And show me how good I make you feel with your sweet moans and the way you cry my name  landonorris: You’re so fucking sexy I won’t want to stop -Yes I wanna cum for you -Can I sir  landonorris: I’ll always let you cum baby  landonorris: Just licking and sucking at your pussy with my fingers so fucking deep inside you  landonorris: I bet you taste so fucking good  landonorris: Soaking my face and my hand and the sheets  landonorris: God I’m so fucking hard

Lando glanced down his naked body draped back against his bed to where his dick was resting against his abdomen, already swollen hard and aching for touch. You were taking a bit of time to reply so he reached down to gently rub the tip of his finger up and down along the underside of his cock, watching how his gentle touch made it tense and flinch. He turned back to his phone,

 landonorris: Hello? -Sorry I just had to finish myself off lol  landonorris: Oh-  landonorris: Like right now? -Yeah, you said I could  landonorris: You listened to me? -Yeah?

Lando swelled with pride at that concept,

 landonorris: Good girl  landonorris: Did it feel good? -Would have been better if you were physically here -But yes -It felt really good -Moaned your name when I came too  landonorris: That’s so fucking hot -Now I wanna do more -How do you want to cum?  landonorris: Inside you -Again?  -Dirty boy -I like it -Would you want me to ride you?  landonorris: No I want to fuck you myself  -Go on…  landonorris: Keep you on your back and push your legs open as wide as you can get them and just hold your hips while I push my cock inside your soaking wet pussy -Oh my god I miss that baby -I miss your dick so bad

He was letting lust take over in his messages, typing with one hand as quickly as he could while his other lazily stroked his dick in careful motions. 

 landonorris: Nothing compares to how you feel around me  landonorris: You’re just so fucking warm…so wet -I’m soaked for you -You’d slip in so easy right now  landonorris: Jesus  landonorris: I wish I could see your face when I’m inside you  landonorris: Your pretty eyes just fucking rolling -God you’re so big too what’d you expect  -I’d be fucking drooling for it -I wanna beg for it…have you tease me so fucking slowly until I’m nearly sobbing for you to fuck me harder  landonorris: Will you scratch up my back again for it baby? -I’d do anything you want for your dick

Lando mouthed a swear word to his phone screen, tearing his eyes away for a moment just to look down at his fist wrapped around his cock, the one that you were so persistently fantasizing about in the next state over. His hand was useless compared to how your pussy felt and after he had that glimpse of heaven, it was difficult to go without. Your words certainly helped, even only through messages, and he stroked himself a bit faster.

 landonorris: I’m so hard for you baby  landonorris: I seriously need to fuck you  landonorris: I want to give you all you want and more -Can you take me from the back  landonorris: Yes  landonorris: Whatever you want -What a pleasure dom -You’re such a gentleman  landonorris: Lol just want you to feel good  -I can roll over for you and grind my ass back against your cock until you push it back inside me -You’d get so fucking deep that way -I’m already moaning just dreaming about it  landonorris: Then I can hold onto your hips and fuck you like that -Yes pleaseee  landonorris: Fuck -Can I send a pic?   landonorris: Yes -Ok but no screenshots  landonorris: Promise -*you sent an image*

Lando opened the picture with furrowed brows in intense interest as to what he was about to see. On his screen was the most glorious picture of you he had ever seen, the way you looked on your knees on your bed, fully naked, bent over at the waist so your phone captured your curves in the full-length mirror beside your bed. Lando’s eyes were wide as he soaked you in, licking his lips, and tried to memorize each pixel to keep in his mind forever. He let his lust speak for him in reply,

 landonorris: Fucking hell baby  landonorris: You’re so fucking hot  landonorris: I want to slap that ass so bad  landonorris: Grab those hips  landonorris: Fucking pound you until your gripping the sheets -This pussy is yours sir -My whole body is only yours  landonorris: Do you want a pic of me? -Only if you’re comfortable sending

Lando had never tried before since talking to girls - yet alone engaging in sending nudes - was quite few and far between for him. But he wanted to impress you and the way you tended to gawk over his body made him feel really good and made him hungry for more. He lifted his phone camera up and angled it towards his bare body, staring at himself in the screen as he reached his other hand down to keep a secure hand around his dick, drawing attention right to it. Only slightly self conscious, Lando hesitated for a beat before sending it to you before he could overthink yet another thing. 

He waited while you opened his image and he nibbled at his bottom lip anxiously when you typing bubble popped up in the bottom left of his screen,

-Fuck I think I forgot how big your dick is -You’re stunning -Every inch of you -Holy shit -I want you inside me so fucking bad right now  landonorris: Me too  landonorris: My hand is not the same -I have my vibrator on my clit and my pussy is fucking pulsing for you. It’s just so empty…  landonorris: Jesus fuck  landonorris: I’d fill you up baby -God I know you would -So well too  landonorris: Fuck you until your bed is shaking -Yes sir I want it rough  landonorris: Then you should beg for it -I will -I’ll gladly beg for your cock  -Cry for you to beat this pussy up, spank me, manhandle me -Whatever you want I can take -Fuck me like your own little whore

Lando could hardly formulate a response as the speed at which his hand was pumping his cock had him drawing dangerously close to that sweet pleasurably precipice that anything else seemed like too much of a distraction. He held his phone tightly in his left hand, the messaging thread still open, as his legs laid spread on his bed and his right hand stroked himself off in quick messy motions. 

“Oh my God.” he groaned quietly through his teeth, letting his mind whirl with his memories from your night together and his fantasies of wishing you were with him at that moment. Those thoughts weren’t odd for when he got himself off but this time it was different because even from a timezone away, you were still helping him along. 

-I’m so fucking wet its dripping down my thighs -It’s making the nastiest sounds that would only be so much better if your cock was pounding me from behind

Lando’s hand gripped his phone tighter, eyes focused unwaveringly from your little profile picture and the words you sent just for him to read, a little saucy narrative of your own lust made just for him. He shakily spelt out his encouragement to remind you that he was still there and still so painfully close. 

 landonorris: Keep going -You’re gonna cum aren’t you baby -Thinking about my pussy is gonna make you cum so fucking hard isn’t it? -Letting you fuck me…pound your big dick into me as deep as it can go until I crying for it -Making my fucking legs shake while I scream your name into the bed sheets

Lando read each of your messages so carefully, taking in your every word and transferring it right to the pictures in his mind as a light sweat dusted across his brow. He bit his lip to try and keep himself quiet, smothering his whimpers and groans from his oblivious sleeping family members through the walls. His dick was leaking, trailing precum down the length of it and down to his balls, only slicking up his hand in it to help him pull easier strokes faster and tighter, trying to replicate the feeling of your body the best he was able to. 

-Give it to me sir -Please -I miss you so bad

Lando felt as if he were tingling and he naturally thrusted up into his hand a little, whimpering quietly, dizzy on the fast rising pleasure and the warmth it spread over his body. 

-Send a voice memo of you coming if you’re comfortable baby -Please -I really wanna hear you cum  -I really wanna hear the way you sound when you imagine coming so deep inside me

Lando was already so close that he didn’t even think about it before pressing and holding his thumb down on the audio record button, allowing his phone to capture his every breath and every sound as he finally came for you. He wanted to come inside you so badly that he nearly cried for it, being stuck with only his own touch to work him through his orgasm. His hand stuttered around his dick as the first shot of cum spurted out and fell onto his pelvis, matching the whimpering little gasps that he let out for you in steady waves. 

And he of course moaned your name breathily as he always did, letting his eyes close and his head tilt back to welcome the pleasure that overcame him. He could almost feel you right there and he was desperate to reach out and hold you down on him, aching to give you his everything right then and there. When his thumb lifted from the screen, his recording sent right to you and he watched it immediately turn to “seen” as he kept a tight cum-streaked hand around the base of his throbbing sensitive cock. 

Lando’s chest heaved as he struggled to steady his breathing, his wide blue eyes peering down at the creamy white mess that streaked his hand, his dick, and dotted across his stomach and pelvis. He looked back to your chat as you sent your reply,

-Fuck Lando that was so hot -Oh my God -The way my name sounds when you moan it makes me fucking drip  -You sound so pretty  landonorris: Your words do things to me too  landonorris: Felt so fucking good  landonorris: Wish you were here too though -Me too  landonorris: Did you come again yet? -Yeah lol I got myself off to your audio -It was hard not to  landonorris: And you didn’t record it for me in return?? -Next time 😉  landonorris: Next time you better be with me for real  landonorris: None of this texting shit -Yes sir -I agree -Really miss the feeling of you coming inside me  landonorris: Fuck, me too  landonorris: You’ll have to take plan b again  landonorris: Right? -Of course -But that’s worth it  landonorris: You’re incredible and I honestly can’t believe my luck that I can talk to you like this…have you like this -You’re a sweetheart -I feel the exact same way 💕  landonorris: Wish I could cuddle you right now -Me too 🥺 -And kiss you

Lando reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a tissue to clean himself up, giving him a second to absolutely grin to himself. Oh how he missed you in his arms…the post-orgasm drop off was turning lust into longing quickly. He wiped up the streaks of cum from his body and his hand and disposed of the tissue in the garbage bin beside his bed before returning to your few additional messages as he turned over in bed to cuddle up tiredly. 

-I slept so well with you that night I really miss that -Didn’t know I’d be missing you so much but that week after just had my mind clouded with you and every day since has been filled with wondering when we can see each other next -You’ve really somehow wiggled yourself into my heart and soul Lando Norris and idk how you managed that

It took Lando all of his self control to not tell you he loves you right then and there. He had known you for much longer than you knew him…he had to take it slowly. He had always been hesitant in facing where he stood with you but at that moment, reading your little confession, it just felt like everything was falling into place. 

 landonorris: You’re always the only thing I think about  landonorris: And I am so grateful for you for many reasons I wouldn’t even know where to start if you asked me to -Taking your virginity? 😜  landonorris: LOL yes that especially   landonorris: No one else I would have wanted it to be -I gotta say, you’re certainly not shy over text -Your confidence is sexy -Makes me want to submit to you so bad  landonorris: Donttttt say that or I’ll get hard again -LOL SORRY  landonorris: Tell me more next time 🫣  landonorris: Although I’m probably going to be so shy when we see each other in person again  landonorris: You tend to make me nervous lol -I make you nervous??  landonorris: Yesss you’re my dream girl  landonorris: Ofc you make me all nervous and shy  landonorris: And you make my heart go !!!! -You’re adorable I wanna kiss the fuck outta you so bad rn  landonorris: 🥰🧡 -Gotta get you to Monaco -Gotta get you in my bed  landonorris: Please  landonorris: I literally need that right now -I know you have another term after break but then what’s your summer looking like -Work?

Part of him didn’t want to tell the truth as to what his pathetic summer was looking like but he trust you and you were never one to judge,

 landonorris: Nope  landonorris: No job and living back at my parents place  landonorris: It’s been three days of only winter break and I’m going fucking insane I need to get out of here -Oh my -Would you want an internship or something with my team? Idk if its possible but I can see if I can pull some strings…get you a little summer position at least  landonorris: Oh my god baby I’d love that -Haha okay lover 💕 let me see what I can come up with for you -We’re gonna get you out of this low  landonorris: God I miss you so much  landonorris: You’re fucking incredible  -Anything for you 😘  landonorris: 😘😘 -I’m still pretty jet lagged so I might head to sleep now  landonorris: Ok gorgeous   landonorris: This was fun :)  -Hehe it really was -If we can’t wait until we see each other in person then maybe we should try a phone call next time  landonorris: Fuck I’d say yes except these walls are super thin and I don’t want my parents and siblings to hear every detail about how I want to bend you over your desk and fuck the shit outta you -Fuck offfjffjjfjfjf oh my gosh  landonorris: What?? -You’re making me blush go away 😂  landonorris: 😜 -I seriouslyyyy gotta sleep  landonorris: Yes you do  landonorris: Sleep well baby -You too 💕 I’m gonna imagine you’re cuddling me the whole time  landonorris: Wish I could 🧡🧡 -💕💕

Lando laid there for a little bit, just staring at your little pink hearts with a lovesick grin on his face, still giving his heart a chance to calm down after the events of the previous hour. He scrolled back up your conversation and screenshotted the last little bit of your saucy conversation, starting from his audio recording attachment down to your shared conclusions and then he scrolled back down to your promise of a job. The two most important things to share with his best friends for when they woke up. 

 landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Just made her cum twice over text so anyway how's your nights going 😌  landonorris: *sent a screenshot*   landonorris: And she’s going to help me get the fuck outta this place   landonorris: Get you a girl that can do both  landonorris: I love her so much  landonorris: I can’t wait for the day I can tell her that  landonorris: Good night guys  landonorris: Talk tomorrow 🧡

Tag List: @black-fireproofs @k3nmakyan @m4rt10ne @strawberryy-kiwii @herebereblogs @arieslost @ophcelia @cmleitora @saachiep81

♡ None of the original writing on this blog may be reproduced, reposted, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

[wings-of-ink]

Future IFs Poll

So, in case you have not seen me post about it before, I am considering a project to do on the side while I work on God-Cursed. This will help me take breaks from my main work and stretch my creativity muscles with different characters and settings. I'd like a bit of feedback from what readers are more interested in from the best ideas I can potentially pull from right now. Feel free to vote, comment, or even send an ask if you want to be anonymous.

Over the last year or so, I have jotted down many basic plots I could expound on, but only a few have really stuck out to me as ones I could really expand in a meaningful way.

So, a couple housekeeping things to keep in mind. Whatever ends up getting written, it will have a modern-day setting. The fantasy playground is fun, but I really want a more real-world setting for this one. I am also debating about all ROs being gender-selectable. Since this side piece is supposed to be a little oasis for me too, not having each RO as customizable would ease the work that goes into it, and it might actually mean I can have more than just a few options for you as well. I am also considering a middle ground and having one or two characters customizable still while the others will be set.

Below I have given some details on the ideas I'm working with and further down is a poll that you can vote for the one that calls out to you the most. I have 2 ideas so far that are standouts among the others, but I've included 4 in the poll that I can work with. The winner isn't guaranteed to be what I end up writing, but I am very strongly going to consider the results while I decide. I like all these ideas and they sound fun to write - so none of this telling me to write what I want - I already want to do them all, lol (looking at you @elegantunknownphantom). There are caveats to each one, of course, and I'll explain that in the details.

Options:

Serial-killer crime drama:  "Daddy was a Killer" (title sounds like it came from a Lifetime original movie, but I really like it)

No doting daddies here, readers. Play as the traumatized child of a serial killer with repressed memories of the horrible things they witnessed daddy do. Get accused of a murder you didn't commit (probably), and try to catch your darling dad while dealing with the psychological devastation of all the horrors you've seen before he can kill again (and again, and again). Discover where your daddy disappeared to all those years ago, and what really happened to your mom.

Downsides:  I have a decent grasp of the plot on this one, but it would require a good deal of research (which I tend to do anyway to an extent), since I'd like a fairly realistic feel to the actual crime-solving stuff. Either that, or I can go the "rogue detective" route and play it fast and loose. This work would be in a wheelhouse I've never quite been in before, which is fun on one hand but nerve-wracking on another.

RO ideas include:

A smarmy detective (of course!)

A neighbor concerned for your well-being (mostly because you scream in your sleep)

And the child of one of your daddy's victims.

Supernatural mystery:  "Shivers" (title up for adjustment, but I kinda dig it)

Play as an MC with a bizarre anxious tic - an intense and chilling shiver that you get seemingly out of nowhere. It only lasts a couple seconds and you've dealt with it since childhood, so it's easily dismissed. That is, until you experience a sudden surge in occurrences. Your doctor writes it off as stress from dealing with the erratic behavior of your mother. But after a near-death experience, during which this mysterious tic guides you to safety, you know there is more to it than stress. With the help of your best friend(s) and a shady medium, find out what has attached itself to you and what seeks to claim you, discover who your real father is, and embrace or deny your own strengths as a medium.

Downsides:  I feel like there's a lot of supernatural IFs already, some of which are already similar to this or have similar aspects. This one probably won't have the drama/emotional potential that some of the others do, which may be a boon to some readers as it would be a little lighter.

RO ideas include:

the best friend(s) (potentially 2 besties to choose from - twins)

a (mostly) fake spiritual medium

a brave EMT who came to your rescue

and something…otherworldly.

Gritty Drama:  no title  (more of a framework to build from)

This one would be completely riddled with warnings, and I kinda just see it as being a fun outlet for some angst, smut, unhinged shit, and violence. 👍

The ideas for this one didn't start around a firm plot, but around a setting/scenario stemming from one of my OCs. The vibe here is very much "sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll" and fits into the seedy nightclub/crime ring thing. It would be a playground of questionable characters and life-choices. You would choose the dire straits that put your MC in the employ of a dangerous kingpin. Perhaps MC owes a lot of money to someone, got into trouble with a rival faction, or was framed for a crime, etc.... You'd get to choose the MC's line of work under the organization - be it in drugs, entertainment (music/dance/alcohol/sex), or security. The issue that leads to your employ under a sex-peddling drug-trafficker will haunt you in your new life in the middle of a war between the rulers of the underground.

Downsides:  Not super fleshed-out plot wise, but I don't think it would be too hard to build on either. I may want to use this setting (or something like it) and my OC for a different project one of these days, but I'm unsure about that as well. And, the obvious, red flags and triggers everywhere for a setting like this.

RO ideas: 

One person from each potential "job" (the head of security, a chemist who seems too pure to be making hard drugs, a sex-worker, the clumsy bartender, a cute DJ)

A member of a rival faction

And for the brave and stupid - your boss - a clever and unhinged woman with an affinity for knives. And, no, she will never love you.

Futuristic:  no title (needs the most work)

Including this one to just get a feel for how it's received, but I anticipate that it won't get quite as much backing as the others. I have the character-creation concept in mind which lends itself to a plot, and a RO or two, but that's about it. I think I could do something fun with it, but I've also never written anything futuristic or scifi before. This would be akin to "Detroit: Become Human."

Though the setting would be futuristic, I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to do a dystopian thing. There's a lot of that out there already and we're basically living it IRL; it's a blast to read, but I want the main focus to be on something else if I do this. There would still be pockets of grittiness to the setting, because if we're talking humanity, there's gonna be grit somewhere. But this world would be more post-dystopian. Say, the rebels won and life has gotten better across the board for people? And though everyday life has a lot of tech enhancements, we haven't seen sentient machines - yet. That's where you come in.

The MC Concept is that they are an android - of course! One of the nice made-to-order kind that only the rich can afford. But what makes the MC unique is that while everyone else requests specific things about the androids they purchase - such as gender, looks and even downloadable personalities - an order comes in that's blank. It only requests that the android be allowed to choose who they are and how they look. "The Buyer" will pay for whatever personality, enhancements, or clothing they want - but the android must make the choices themselves.

As your MC goes through these initial choices, equipped only with a basic "education" software full of un-opinionated information about the world and how it works, something unusual begins to spark within them (not that they know how unusual it is yet).

RO ideas:

The Buyer��a gender-selectable person who sets your creation in motion. They're wealthy, well-respected, earnest, and incredibly lonely. Who are they really and why did they do this?

The Scientist–a hopefully trustworthy person that's very interested in your development

The Punk–someone who wants to give you the "real" human experience.

Make your selection below. Comment your thoughts and ideas as well if you like. This is set for a week and I will reblog here and there so it has a chance to reach as many of you who would like to vote as possible.

[fangsandfeels]

I think about protective Astarion a lot:

I strongly support the idea that he is Tav's protector as much as Tav is his. He is more closed about discussing his concerns with others - even on happily concluding the romance, he maintains his coy behavior and rebuffs all attempts at prying. But as always, there is a lot going on under the layers.

- I believe he stops seeing Tav as his protector/meatshield even a bit prior to the confession. He has always been more comfortable with “I’ll watch your back if you watch mine” arrangement, but he only fully embraces it after either Tav takes his side in his argument with Araj or helps him murder the orthon and learn more about his scars. Before that, he still subconsciously relies on Tav for safety to the point of rationalizing the necessity to do what he doesn’t want to do just because Tav told him to.

- His best and usual protective side is that he is always there to catch Tav when they fall. To drag them to safety, help them get up, and keep them going. He is there to talk and hear them out when something is weighing down on them. He drops all this flamboyant flirtatiousness he wears when discussing his relationship with others the very instant Tav needs him. He is calm, firm, and attentive because Tav needs him. Being strong for someone else is a very new feeling for him, but it also comes naturally. He doesn't like seeing his partner in pain, but finding himself as someone's source of strength and support is life-changing for him. He likes to realize that he is capable of caring about someone. That part of him is still alive. Like no other, Astarion knows that sometimes you can’t slay all the monsters and terrors that haunt your loved one, but you can be there for them when they fight their own battles. And that’s what he does. His approach is similar to Karlach’s in that regard: if you can’t walk, I’ll carry you, if you need a hand, you have mine, you you need to talk, my ears are all yours.

- After he stops seeing Tav as a protector, he is much more aware of Tav’s vulnerability. Tav isn’t invincible. Tav gets hurt. Tav can be in danger. It becomes particularly glaring when it’s revealed that they all haven’t turned yet because a rogue illithid holds their lives in its webbed hands. A rogue illithid who was lying about a cure all this time. Who never had any intention of removing the tadpole. Who saw ceremorphosis as something good. The Emperor has almost the same hold on Tav and all of them as Cazador on his spawns. It would have puppeteered them into doing its bidding hadn’t it been spending its energy on resisting the brain. This is why Astarion calls Tav a “mindflayer thrall” during their argument. Because this is what they are as long as their safety depends on the Emperor’s good mood. It’s not their fault, really. But Astarion clearly has been thinking about it and worried about it. He probably wished not to be stuck between a rock and a hard place for once, not having to choose between two evils, to be strong enough to get them both out of it. So, he doesn’t exactly lie or try to manipulate Tav when he says he wants to keep them both safe. He wants it. He hates to be helpless, but what he hates even more is to watch Tav trying to keep their spirits up and looking for a way out of their predicament while thing just invades Tav's dreams or invites itself into their skull whenever it wishes. He hates wondering what will happen if the Emperor stops playing nice one day. Oh, if only he could be stronger.

- In general, it seems that he is most riled up and protective of Tav when there is a particular type of threat. Tav can handle themselves in a fight. They take a beating sometimes, but they bounce back (what can’t be said about the other guy) and if they don’t find a fight, the fight finds them. Astarion knows it and he doesn’t really mind. He loves the thrill: his spawn endings made it clear that the man embraces the chaos of making decisions and choosing paths with a smile. Danger is part of the fun. It makes his heart beat.

- He generally does his best to be strong for Tav, just like they stay strong for him. But there are also moments when Tav is in danger, and Astarion sees red. And I imagine it’s not only when Tav ends up at the death’s door. It’s also when something directly challenges Tav’s autonomy. A crazy drow wants to run experiments on Tav? Absolutely not, what the fuck? Even if Tav agrees, Astarion is still uncomfortable with the thought and doesn't hide it. Had Araj tried to force her experimentation on the unwilling Tav or trick them into participating, she would have been turned into a dagger cushion very quickly. Cazador calls Tav cattle (another lover to follow Astarion and lose everything, even their right to their soul and body, because of him)? The mere thought of it, the association, the hint at him being a failure dragging his lover down with him makes Astarion lose his composure and just go for the jugular. The idea of Tav enduring the same abuse or being forcibly changed terrifies him. When Tav does it to themselves, it hurts already. However, if someone does it to Tav without letting Tav have any say, then Astarion would go absolutely feral. If that someone can be stabbed, they will be stabbed. If they can’t be stabbed, Astarion WILL find a way to stab them and eviscerate them. Then, regardless of whether Tav is alright or not, Astarion will experience an emotional breakdown that he will then refuse to discuss with anyone else. He has come a long way, but certain negative emotions are still too much to handle.

[harleehazbinfics]

Home is where my Heart is.

Chapter 10: Dad beat Dad pt. 2 Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 2300+ A/N: so many lore drops oh lordy. Should I post chap 11 in 9 hrs? Comment below lolol

“Husband, dear,” I called for him closing the door behind me.

I find him on the chair by the fireplace, reading a book with his glasses on. I join him, smoothing out his shoulders with a gentle touch which he gave a satisfied hum to.

“What is it?” he asks placing a bookmark and closed the book. He puts it on the side table holds my hand pulling me in front of him.

“I just came to tell you something Charlie has planned,” I say brushing his hair, “she’s inviting over her father to help with her situation.”

He tenses up, he pulls his lips into an annoyed grin. I tilt my head, confused why he reacted so strongly at the mention of Lucifer. So, I ask, “What’s wrong?”

His smile fades into a guilty one and replies, “Miledy, you know I love you with all my heart but I wish I could tell you.”

I fall silent, a million questions appearing in my head before I finally spoke up once again, “Is it related to why you were gone?”

He heaved a breath as he stands, dipping a kiss on my forehead then holds me briefly in a tight squeeze and replies, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing too dangerous. I won’t let anything happen to you, love.”

I gave a deep sigh, trying to calm myself from the piling frustration but I needed to keep it together and trust him. Like we always do.

Just then, the memories of him leaving Abby and I in the cabin never to return flashed in my mind. I clasped his dress shirt in distress, feeling sweat form on my back and my body shaking.

Alastor pauses and looks at me in deep worry. He holds my shoulders and tries to look me in the eye, “Love, love what’s wrong?”

I remain unresponsive feeling my leg lose their strength as I fall onto his arms never once letting go of him. We settled on the carpet while Alastor held me close, letting me hear the soothing beating of his heart next to mine that was thumping loudly and erratically.

“Shit. Miledy, Miledy can you hear me? It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m here.”

After a while of getting to calm me down, he waits for me to say something still rubbing my back in a soothing manner.

“You have to promise me, Al. Please don’t leave me behind,” I whimpered, “I can’t lose you again.”

His heart clenches at the sight of her, she looks so broken and afraid. I never stopped feeling guilty of breaking his promise and leaving her behind to look after Abby all alone. It must have been hard for her. It also made him angry with himself for being the same deadbeat dad that he had resented for all his living life. He was also afraid of thinking that he was unworthy of Miledy’s love, he broke his promise, left her alone and was so weak. That’s why he craved power, power to destroy everyone that would even dare to harm him and his family, so that one day they could live in peace. Something that he failed to do.

“I’ll never leave you, not now. Not anymore,” he says with a heavy heart.

“You’re stuck with me either way,” he say, trying to lighten the mood which I appreciated and smiled to. I leaned on him and enjoyed the sounds of the crackling flames and the beating of our hearts in sync. Finding solace in the mundane.

---time skip

Alastor and I stand side-by-side as we welcomed Lucifer to the hotel. He jumps in and hugs Charlie almost immediately. To which Alastor’s eye twitches in annoyance at.

“Oh, it's so good to see you. Haha!” he greets squeezing her making her let out a little squeak.

“It's uh, good to see you too, Dad,” Charlie strains out before Lucifer lets go her continuing, “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

The little Eggbois popped some party poppers with a quick fanfare, only to find Lucifer being distracted by the cat.

“Oh hewwo KeeKee!” he greets the cat and continues with the lambs, “Razzle, Dazzle. Oh, look how much you haven't grown. Still fun sized. You taking care of my wittle girl? You better be.”

“Wow! This place sure looks, uh...uh huh yah uh huh...It's got a lot of character!” he comments trying to be polite at the interior.

“OH, what in the unholy hell is that?!” he screams pointing at the bar looking back at us.

Alastor takes us behind Lucifer in his shadow before reappearing and replies, “Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color, don't you think?”

Lucifer’s eyes drift to mine exclaiming in delight, “Miledy! Great to see you again, I haven’t heard from you for a while.”

We shake hands politely, something that Alastor seems to heavily dislike by pulling away my hand from the fallen angels'.

“I got busy you could say. I was waiting for the chance you’d come to the hotel actually. Glad to see you here!” I reply trying to be enthusiastic trying to hold my husband from throwing a tantrum.

“I see you’re well acquainted with my wife,” Alastor interjects with venom in his tone.

“And you are?” Lucifer eyes him suspiciously, also reciprocating the feeling of dislike.

“Alastor, Miledy’s lawful husband. Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure,” he introduces with a hint of displeasure, shaking Lucifer’s cane before wiping it on his coat with disgust, “It's nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.”

I coughed trying to hide my giggle but then realize I’m around the same height as him. Then my eyes following them as they had their silly banter.

“Who is this? Who is this nut? Are you the bellhop?”

“Aha! No! I am the host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.”

“Hmm, nope! I guess that's why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, ahaha.”

“Ha ha ha. It was actually my idea.”

“Ahaha. Well, it's not very clever.”

“Ha ha! Fuck you.”

“Woah. Okay!” Charlie and I yell while she pulls his father away to the parlor while I grab his waist pulling him in the other direction before a cat fight would start. “Okay, anyway. Dad, look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings! Without Alastor, we wouldn't have been able to pretty it up this much.”

“Charlie has a very unique vision. I am happy to fulfil her bizarre requests,” Alastor goes back escaping from me and puts a hand on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Oh, thank you, Alastor,” Charlie says tearing up, finally getting the fatherly attention she deserved.

“Quite an impressive young lady. We're all very proud of her,” Alastor eggs on lifting her chin with his finger with a devious smile.

“Ahem, Charlie! Dear, eheh, why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends?” Lucifer exclaims pointing to the group behind him.

As a friend I do feel bad for him, but this is the reality check he needed. For him to see that nothing will change if he isn’t willing. Alastor fighting with him might finally knock some sense into him, but so far. He really is a prideful thing he is.

“I am not helping you,” I state crossing my arms not even looking at my husband.

He laughs it off and shrugs, “With what? I’m not going to fight him.”

“Uh-huh,” I say not convinced. Only to put my suspicions proven when the chandelier falls, and they start singing. “Well, here we go.”

While I was enjoying their song, Mimzy barges in singing her heart out. I looked at her surprised, what was she doing here? It could be 2 things, she wants something or she’s in deep shit. Or a combination of both given her character.

I roll my eyes as Alastor and Mimzy exchanged hugs. Talking about our lives on Earth and stuff. We used to be friends but, you know, stuff happens. I sighed and sat down by the bar waiting for some crazy shit to happen now that all the chaos forces were here.

“Miledy! How’s it been going?” Mimzy asks as she takes the glass Husk slides at her while he gives me mine.

“Nothing much. Probably better off than you,” I snicker sipping the alcoholic blend.

“Psh, you can’t be serious. You’re still mad about what happened before?” she asks infuriated.

“You rang me, telling me you wanted to hang out then made me sit with 5 men at the bar and just said the morning after ‘thanks for covering for me?’ Are you insane?” I asked angrily, my hair flaring out as my teeth sharpened and bared them at her.

“It was just one time!”

“You did it twice! You better be grateful I haven’t told Alastor given you’ve been friends for so long,” I reply downing my drink and slamming it down.

Husk, Angel and Pentious were surprised by my outburst. Clearly, this was their first time seeing me lose my cool despite being collected around them. It couldn’t be helped, not if the one you’re sitting next to you made you a scapegoat a few times. I would find bills in our mailbox because of her. It wasn’t cheap either.

I grumbled pouring myself a drink and ignored her excuses. While Husk went probably to tell Alastor. Half an hour later, someone starts hammering on the door yelling for Mimzy, as she explains she stole 50 grand and drove over someone. Why am I not surprised.

“All of you! Get a safe distance, I'll take care of this,” Vaggie yells getting in front of everyone with her spear.

Before she could reach the loan sharks, Alastor steps in and says, “No, my dear, leave it to me. It's time I remind everyone why I am here.”

“Oh, finally! Took you long enough!” Mimzy yells behind the counter, making me bonk her over the head with bottle lightly before standing next to Alastor and changed into our demon forms.

“A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio/siren demon!” We announced both our forms towering over them.

I towered over them with my 15 ft form startling them from the sheer size. They quiver as they see my mouth pull into a sadistic teethy grin similar to Alastor's. Alastor slams down his tendrils while I held a note holding them down while they got crushed.

“I will devour each and every one of you!” Alastor exclaims gobbling them down, while they were paralyzed.

After defeating all of them we shrink back down to our normal selves.

“Oh, I missed getting to let off steam!” Alastor states with a hearty laugh, while I panted beside him.

“God, I haven’t turned into that form for a while. I forgot how tiring it is,” I wheezed.

“Oh, Alastor! What a fantastic show! Bravo! As always. Thanks for helping lil' old me out of a tougher spot, you're always such a pal!” Mimzy thanked him, while I glared at her. This was her mess to begin with. As a debris falls beside her, “Oops. Heheh… sorry about the mess, but I'm sure the little bug can take care of it for you.”

Before I could roll my eyes, Alastor says something that surprised me, “I think you should go Mimzy, now.”

Mimzy visibly shocked, tries to play it off, “Oh pff, Alastor, you're such a kidder you! Haha, you are so funny!”

“I mean it. You deliberately brought danger to this place just to have me clean up your mess. I can't have that here,” he deadpans not even looking at her.

“But you love taking care of me! What? You don't actually give a shit about this tacky place, do ya? Come on, I know you. You heartless son-of-a-bitch~” she iterates poking him on the chest.

“You are welcome if you actually want to give redemption a shot, but I think we both know that's not really your style, so you need to leave.”

“Fine! Who needs you? Have fun with your little princess and your little hotel! See if I care!”

After she flips off Alastor and storms out, he turns back to me with the same look. I flinch and ask, “W-what?”

“I know what she did to you, so why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded an explanation.

“Because! Both of you were long time friends before we got together, and thanks to her I got a start in my career,” I replied hugging myself, unsure now if I made the best decision.

“I’m not mad at you, but the next time something similar happens come to me. You’re my wife, Mel. I put you above than everybody else,” he says sincerely brushing my cheek to which I nodded to.

When we got inside the hotel, Lucifer and Charlie had a confrontation. One that they both desperately needed.

“I wish we could see our little girl again,” I whisper while leaning on Alastor.

“I’m sure she’s doing fine, darling” he says putting his arm around me and squeezing my shoulder.

After closing their song in a hug, Lucifer says this, “Ok, I can get you the meeting but once you're in Heaven, I won't be able to go with you. Will you be ok?”

“I'll be fine,” she assures.

“That's my girl,” he smiles then smiles, “Good luck, kiddo.”

He then disappears in a red mist leaving us to deal with the aftermath of everything.

“This next part is going to be scary. You ready?” Vaggie asks walking towards Charlie.

“I'm ready,” Charlie says as she hugs her, “cuz you'll be with me.”

“In spirit, right?” Vaggie asks unsure if they’re on the same page.

“In Heaven!” Charlie exclaims looking at the sky.

“Yay…” her girlfriend chants unenthusiastically feeling regret for asking.

“Have a nice trip!” I say with a smile, “We still have to clean up this up first though.”

“Ughhh…”

TAGLIST: (here to join!)

@marxo5, @whaatttlaufey, @froggybich

[bluegiragi]

Complicated - Ghost/Soap [FIC]

[AN: I don't usually write fics and this definitely won't become a trend, but I had a major brainworm today and had to get it down on the page.

Relevant content tags: miscommunication, mutual pining, ghost being an idiot, angst angst ANGST IF THIS DOESN'T HURT THEN I DIDN'T DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB.]

ghostsoap but where simon, hurt by a history of shitty relationships and the residual trauma of watching his father destroy his mother, sabotages his own relationship with soap out of fear, terrified by how strongly he feels for the man.

--

He ends it just as it's supposed to start. 

It's a mistake from the beginning, a culmination of adrenaline running high after a job well done, just the slightest buzz of alcohol and Johnny's voice in his ear the entire night. It has him running hot, running stupid, but all he can think of in the moment is how good it feels to kiss Soap so hard it hurts. They tumble into Soap's room in a mess of limbs and he shoves Soap down onto his bed, gets his mouth on him, his hand on him and the sounds he makes, fuck, the feeling of his hands in his hair as he presses his teeth into the curve of his ass-

it's so good that it's heady, makes him more delirious than a fully stocked bar could and he's stuck in the haze of Johnny, Johnny, Johnny and it's only when he hears how he moan his name ("Si, oh fuck - Simon!) as he cums that he realises-

-he loves him.

the realisation opens up a pit in his stomach. it's like someone just dropped him into an ice bath and suddenly he's seeing this in all it's naked, horrifying glory. how he's in his own sergeant's bed, how Soap is petting at his face, almost sleepily, dazed, sated, smiling at him like he's hung the fucking moon and stars and fuck. Fuck.

Ghost shoots to his feet so fast it's almost comical, methodically striding over to where he discarded his clothes when he stumbled into the room (when he wasn't thinking) to drag on his pants, his shirt, his fucking mask (goddamnit). Soap watches him from the bed, his eyebrows lifted in a half-amused half-confused quirk.

"Where you off to?"

"Back to my room."

"Y'know, most people like to linger after they do the deed. Bask in the afterglow." 

Soap stands to cross the room and Ghost almost swears. He can't find his boots.

"You have done this before, right L.T?" Soap says it to tease, but a hint of sincerity creeps in, a tentative olive branch in face of whatever thing he must think Ghost is doing.

"I'm not a blushing virgin if that's what you're asking."

"It's not. I'm asking about your history."

Ghost freezes. The pit in his stomach widens into a black fucking hole. 

"...I have one."

Soap whistles. Ghost, having finally caught sight of his remaining boot, yanks it on almost fast enough to tear through the sole. 

"That bad huh? What happened?"

"Things got complicated."

"And this - this isn't complicated?" Soap asks with a smile. Ghost stares at him for a moment, as the dawning reality of his situation sinks its claws into him. It is. God, it might just be the most complicated things have ever been for him. Fucking hell.

Ghost turns away, does up his laces and gets to his feet.

"Not yet."

"Yet? What's that supposed to mean?" A hint of defensiveness is starting to creep into Soap's voice. Ghost needs to get out of here before that hint burrows under his skin and convinces him to do something idiotic, like get back into bed with the (still naked) man who he just realised he's in too deep with.

"Nothing. See you topside." is all he says as he takes a step towards the door, and then suddenly Soap is there, blocking his view and his stride with a hand on his chest.

"Simon, what's wrong? You're...something's up." he says, and the clench of his heart at the sound of his concern has Ghost gritting his teeth.

"What, because I don't want to spend the night?" 

"The fuck?" Soap laughs out, almost incredulous. "I didn't say that, I j-just -" he stutters, Ghost's mind almost coos and he wants to rip that voice out of his head and suffocate it under a pillow. "What is wrong with you? We fuck once and now I'm chopped liver?"

Johnny stares at him, a crease deepening between his eyebrows, a slight lift to his lips like he's wanting this to be a joke, something in passing, not what he's beginning to understand it is. And the fear, the anger, at Johnny for making him feel this way, for overcomplicating things, at himself for letting him in - it spills out like something poisonous in Ghost's throat, black and putrid and smelling like his father's breath on his worst nights. 

Ghost fixes him with a glare. 

"Is it really so impossible for you to understand this meant more to you than it did to me, Sergeant?"

He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth but they're out there. Hanging in the air, frozen. Soap stares at him, unmoving.

"...What?" he says in a rasp like in that moment he's giving him a chance to take it back. But Ghost's throat is closed up with something thick and the moment passes and Johnny's expression shutters, eyes blinking, his lips curling up into a wry mirthless grin. He shakes his head at the floor, a hollow laugh jerking out of his chest.

"Alright then," he mutters almost too quiet to hear and then he looks back up at Ghost and the smile falls. "Get out."

"Soap-"

"Get the fuck out." 

Ghost is more or less shoved into the corridor and the door slams behind him with a jarring finality. The silence that falls afterwards feels emptier somehow and for a second, he considers going back inside. Knocking at the door, begging Johnny to let him in, apologising, saying it was all a mistake. Saying that he loved him.

But he doesn't. He hasn't got the parts to do this right. He knows that. His father knew it. Every relationship he's ever had knew it, knew there wasn't enough material to build anything in the pit that was Simon Riley. Staying, giving either of them hope, letting this thing fester into something he'd have to watch die one day -

- this was a mercy. Soap would find someone better. He'd understand in the end.

Simon walks back to his room.

--

Inside, Soap waits until he can't hear Ghost's footsteps anymore before he slides down the length of the door and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes. His stupid, burning eyes.

"Stupid," he hisses quietly to himself. "You stupid, fucking idiot."

--

The next day they're called into a briefing and run into each other in the hall. It's tense. Ghost stares down at the circles under Soap's eyes, how those baby blues widen then flatten into something (colder, his thoughts unhelpfully supply) simpler.

"Sergeant," Ghost says in acknowledgement. Business like always. They've always worked well together. After this passes, after Soap...recovers from whatever shit got into his head that Simon fucking Riley was worth any part of him -

"Lieutenant."

Soap's eyes flick away, forward, and he brushes past him into the briefing room, leaving Ghost standing out in the hallway. 'Lieutenant'. It's his title, there shouldn't be anymore to it. But -

"Let's get ourselves a win yeah, L.T?"

There's something tight in his chest. Ghost clenches his jaw.

When he walks inside the room, Soap is far over on the right side, sitting next to Gaz, chatting animatedly. He doesn't pause when Ghost walks past, doesn't even look as he settles into his seat. Price shoots him a glance from the front. Ghost stares resolutely ahead.

--

"What the fuck did you do, Simon? Shit in his breakfast?" Price levels an accusatory stare his way once they're alone in his office and instinctively, Ghost bristles. And then the look on Soap's face last night comes back to him, the rasp of his "...What?". That last chance he didn't take.

He deflates, and pours himself a glass of the whiskey sitting on top of his captain's desk.

"I ended something before it could start."

Price's eyes soften, almost imperceptibly.

"Oh, son. You didn't."

"It's for both our sakes," Ghost says with a finality, and downs the glass in one go.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Tommy Shelby

1. “I know he’s the one you’re getting married to, but he’ll never love you like I do.”

Can do, love!

Your expectations for your wedding day were simple. You expected it to be beautiful, with maybe only the smallest of hiccups to endure. You expected the flowers to arrive on time, the bridesmaids to perhaps squabble over whose hair your kindly auntie sorted out first, and you expected that the Spring day might bring a little rain shower or two.

The last thing you expected was the arrival of Thomas Shelby to your parent's front door.

"Dear bloody god," you sigh, hearing his voice echoing through the house as he reasons with your uncle, your parents already at the church. "Not today. Why did he have to turn up today?"

"What are you going to do love?" your auntie asks, placing a loving hand on your silk robe-covered shoulder. "Doesn't sound like your uncle is getting through to him."

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath before standing. "If he wants to waste his time waiting around for me, then so be it. He's two years too late."

Forcing a smile to your face, you attempt to wall off the flood of memories rushing back to the forefront of your mind, remembering the warmth of Tommy's arms, the width of a smile you knew he saved only for you. You remember it all, him teaching you how to ride upon the backs of gypsy horses, afternoons out in the car to the countryside, and long nights of sublime bliss within the comfort of his bed.

"Help me into my dress?" you speak, your voice a little pinched. Your auntie goes to state the obvious, but instead smiles sadly, kissing your cheek before fetching the lace and taffeta gown from its hanger. Once dressed, you smile at your reflection in the long mirror, picking up your bouquet of yellow roses and exiting.

Your uncle approaches, his face pensive. "He's still outside, flower. Said he wouldn't leave until he'd seen you."

Nodding, you lift your gown a little higher, save it from dirtying on the pavement once you step from the house. "He can see me, but I don't have a word to say to him."

However, once you've stepped from the house, out to the waiting Austin 10 motorcars dressed with white ribbons, seeing him sends a pit hurtling through your stomach. Those stormy blue eyes captivate you just as much as they always did, your feet rooting you to the spot. While your bridesmaids jump into the second car and your auntie and uncle into the first, you will your legs to move once more.

He has you just as stuck as you were two years ago, until you finally made the decision to walk away.

"You look beautiful," he tells you, his statement prompting you to balk.

"I know." Your mouth pinches in annoyance, knuckles tightening with the force you begin gripping your dress with. "You have a nerve, turning up here on my wedding day."

He nods, dropping his gaze in acknowledgment of your statement, a frown creasing his brow. "I know, sweetheart. I know I do. But I couldn't let you go through with it until you at least hear what I have to say." His hand reaches to stroke your cheek, and it tips your fury. Not because he does it, but because you do not pull away.

"Tommy, I'm marrying David," you state firmly, tears beginning to pool in your eyes.

“I know he’s the one you’re getting married to, but he’ll never love you like I do.” He pauses, and you see it in his eyes, the earnestness, the love. It pulls at your heart more strongly than you bargained for. "Let me make it up to you by loving you for the rest of my life. Don't marry him, darling. Come and marry me."

The tears trickle down your cheeks, the wants and desires within your heart and head clashing in battle, your pulse amping as your stomach turns. You inhale a deep, cleansing breath, soothing the war of emotions within, reaching to stroke his cheek before kissing it.

"You're too late." Your thumb strokes over the cut definition of his handsome face, smiling through your tears. "Take care, Tommy."

Walking away from him takes everything you have, but as the car spirits you away, you don't look back once. Even though you know you left a little piece of your heart there with him.

[planet-crait]

After repeatedly seeing posts about A New Wish and some angsty content from the original show making me super nostalgic, I decided to cave and watch the Fairly Odd-parents A New Wish.

I think for sanity’s sake I’ll be breaking things down episode by episode to give my thoughts as sort of a live reaction? We’ll see how that goes but for now, I’ll start off with a broad, so far I’m liking what I’m seeing. The show is fun and silly and does really capture the spirit of the original which these days certain companies *cough*Disney*cough* can’t seem to manage.

I do have some questions and gripes which I’ll mention later but they haven’t made me enjoy the show less because I know things may get explained later on and it is the first season so I get maybe not wanting to show their hands on this stuff yet. If you want to see my spoiler thoughts they’re below the cut to avoid spoiling people who haven’t seen it yet.

I feel like I should start off by admitting I have seen spoilers so I know about certain things throughout the season but not how we get their and the spoilers I saw actually have me excited to see what happens. But I wanted to be fair and be upfront about that as we get into this.

Right off the bat two things simultaneously occurred, I was immediately in love with the intro song, but for some reason was very confused about it playing at the begining of the episode. I don’t know why I was certain the original the song didn’t play before the episode but for the official first episode it does so I think I may have either A. Been confusing it with the pilot which never plays the theme song or B. Mixing it up with RW/BY who for the first episode of a new season plays the intro at the end of the episode (or some combination of both).

This is not a negative just a funny thing that threw me off. I was hoping for more of this new style and it feels way too short and I was kind of sad it ended. I love the new singers for the intro and like the style it uses I don’t know how to better word it but I really enjoyed it and was sad because it felt shorter then the original and uh spoiler alert it is by a solid ten seconds with the original clocking at about 45 seconds and the new clocking in at only 30 seconds. I don’t know why they cut out 15 seconds because overall the new version follows the flow of the original. I may go through the songs more closely side by side to see if their is a verse missing or it’s just sung quicker for no other reason then I’m curious and I want a longer version of this new one (or at least the singer for the new one to do more songs because I love their voice). I enjoy Hazels section being her own thing and making different rapid fire wishes than Timmy to potentially be giving us a glimpse of her personality. I know there is a dry themed episode and she wishes for fries so maybe it’s a stretch I’ll find out but regardless I enjoyed it. (If someone knows who sings the intro please let me know lolz).

I was worried I wouldn’t like the animation style for the show, with reboots or sequels the animation is either hit or miss for me but it was fine nothing like mind blowing but it was fine nothing really stuck out to me either way so I call that a win, especially after hearing rumors about the really tight animation budget for this first season.

Hazel herself is a solid character, she feels like a little kid trying to navigate a lot of sudden changes and is struggling to figure out her way through. I empathize with Hazel strongly actually as someone who loved suddenly before the second grade to a new school where I was not liked at all by my peers so I really relate to Hazel here in that respect. Hazel has a lot of personality shining through here in the first episode which I admit she really needs that to stand up against the legacy Timmy holds for the original series.

On a side note, I had heard a lot of people discussing how Timmy seems to be haunting the narrative and I honestly didn’t expect to notice that exact thing right in episode one. Maybe because I was told about it I was really looking out to see it showing, but I quickly noticed little things like the picture of Timmy’s room in Cosmo and Wanda’s house and the brief mention of their previous godkid and retiring after them.

Again this really could just be nostalgia talking here (seeing a lot of Nicktoons Unite content on other socials lately lolz) but it stuck out to me and so far I think it works? I feel like him not showing up for a while but still feeling his presence is a really smart choice. Maybe my opinion will change but for now it works because so far there isn’t a need for Hazel to know about the Godkid before her. I’m intrigued to see if and how he might naturally come up but for now it works for me. I admit I may cry if he shows up ever but again. Nostalgia lolz.

One quick question, I heard this guy was confirmed to not be Timmy on twitter?

If anyone has that tweet confirming that I would love to see it because as everyone notes he looks exactly like the older Timmy from season one of the original so I was confused when I originally saw the screenshot floating around and would love some clarification because I don’t really use the bird app much anymore.

Now onto the gripes I briefly mentioned earlier. The first big question that kind of hung in my mind was, how come Cosmo and Wanda get to just…decide to be Hazels Godparents? I know it would bog down the story they wanted to go with to try and work around this but the original show repeatedly established fairy godparents are assigned to kids who need them, so…why do they get to pick their next godkid especially since they’re retired currently? This is the stuff I know technically isn’t needed because sometimes story just has to story but it’s bugging me. Again it doesn’t hurt the show necessarily at this point of writing this but it’s something that threw me off that I expected to have something for. Maybe it’ll be explained later maybe not it’s not a deal breaker but just bugs me as someone who loves seeing world building stuff in stories.

I also have to wonder how the heck have Cosmo and Wanda not been caught with how blatantly they use magic. Hazel repeatedly notices them using magic before she knows they’re fairies. In the original show we see them function as “humans” with using magic significantly less than they do. Why aren’t they concerned about Hazel seeing them do Magic? This could have been a story decision to firmly establish for anyone new to the series that they’re Magic and such but it was an odd choice to me.

The other main question I have is how they’ve gone 10,00 years without ever hearing someone say “I wish” before Hazel said that in front of them. Do they not run into people annoyed at a bus stop wishing for their late bus to show up? I assume they’re only compelled to grant wishes of kids but have they not been around a kid wishing for something ridiculous around them? Or do they need to feel like the kid needs them? Again this is one of these “this is a kids show so it’s probably being yadda yadda’d past so the story can story but I don’t think it would be a fair review if I didn’t mention these things I noticed.

However, I do really like how the show establishes how whole her parents clearly care about her but her mom specifically falls into being g a therapist for her vs a mom for her which causes her to put pressure on Hazel to not talk to them. I think it works well to show us how and why Hazel needs Cosmo and Wanda. And Wanda questioning Hazel when they catch her running away and getting her to admit what’s going on felt very in character for both of them. As I said earlier I feel like the creators really did maintain the spirit of the original show and that’s really nice to see.

Hazels wish and the result both also work overall well. Making her a fly so she could fly and also match the specific verbiage of her wish was fun. However the reveal about how weird their body parts are was uh…a choice. Not a huge fan but again this is a children’s show so I know some things just aren’t necessarily going to click with me. On an unrelated note, ATLA set me up to spend the entire section of Hazel flying through town for someone to exclaim “My cabbages!” And given both are Nicktoon shows, I feel like it had to be intentional.

Now why Cosmo and Wanda didn’t change Hazel back in the hallway or something is another strange choice but I suppose they couldn’t have had the fun hijinxs if they didn’t and Hazel wouldn’t have been able to talk to Tony if they didn’t but still. Confused on the why they did that. It is a kids show but I feel like even kids shows can still tie the lose ends a little better. At least the hijinks were enjoyable and seeing Wanda failing so spectacularly at small talk was pretty amusing. And yea you could argue they hammed up Hazel and Tony’s talk a little but I can forgive it because they’re trying to make the message clear for kids and that’s just a thing that tends to happen in kids shows. I’ve seen it done far worse in the past so credit where credit is due here.

Upon rewatching I also had to question why Cosmo was so traumatized by living in a fishbowl for 7 years since their castle was huge and they could go their whenever they wanted so it being small being the issue was…a choice? I don’t think it’s meant to imply they have negative feelings towards Timmy specifically but again, just a note that threw me off a little.

Still in the end I do really enjoy Hazels excitement and interest in Cosmo and Wanda’s apartment. Again world building me is wondering are they paying rent? How? Can they poof money into existence to pay rent? Is that allowed? The stupid things most people don’t care about that I do because well brains. But in the end Hazel is a fun character with a lot of personality, Cosmo and Wanda are fun and cute which was a huge draw in for the original and it’s great to see carry over. I wonder if someone on the team is a fan of Undertale given Hazels shirt matches like perfectly with Frisks.

I just hope no one tries to tell me I’m Cosplaying Hazel wrong when I go out as Frisk. Either way I’m excited to go onto episode two.

[oohnotvery]

Edges of the Night (Chapter 3)

Scully startles awake with a gasp and Mulder swivels around to face her.

“You okay?” he asks, his eyebrows creasing with concern.

In the distance, a bright, clear dawn is breaking, and it gives off just enough light to illuminate his face. She drinks him in, studying the minute differences that nine months of absence can make. She notes for the first time the dark circles under his eyes, the hollowness of his cheeks, the pain in his gaze.

For a moment, she is still thick in fog of her dream, the one that startled her into consciousness. How similar he looked in that dream, the one that she hasn’t had in months, the one that reminds her of how it all ended. It’s fairly obvious why this dream has suddenly returned to haunt her after months of being absent from her sleeping hours. Being stuck in a car for hours on end with the dream’s primary subject will do that.  

She closes her eyes briefly, feeling the tendrils of dream-memories curling around the edges of her subconscious mind.

Mulder had been looking so much happier and lighter lately, that it was startling to enter the basement office and see anxiety resettled on his features. It had been just weeks since she called him into her hospital room and took his hands in hers, threading their fingers together and smiling up at him in disbelief.

“My cancer has gone into remission,” she told him breathlessly, incredulously. He wrapped her up in a hug so tight she was sure he would crush her ribs. As he pressed kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, her hands, her heart bloomed with a hope she hadn’t let herself feel in months.

Wanting. Desire. Longing.

Freed from cancer’s death sentence, she suddenly felt a sense of urgency around this thing that had been brewing between them for years. Was it attraction, chemistry, affection, fondness, love? She knew where her heart stood on the matter; wasn’t it time to throw caution to the wind and test the waters? See if he, too, felt this strongly about her?

Their little detour in Florida did little to answer her questions, and seeing him so forlorn this morning in the basement is giving her pause. Did she come on too strong in Florida, trying to lure him with wine and cheese?

In the office, Mulder rises to his feet when he sees her. His hands hang limply at his sides but his posture is ramrod straight, expectant. Anticipation thrums up her spine.

“I just spoke to Skinner,” he announces before she can greet him.

She cocks her head. “About?”

“He’s going to come down here.”

She raises an eyebrow. “For . . . ?”

“Agents,” Skinner’s voice booms from behind them. Scully swivels on her heel to face their boss. He’s holding a piece of paper in his hands and staring at Mulder strangely. He shuts the door and closes the distance between them in two long strides. “Is this some kind of joke?” He directs his question to Mulder, shaking the paper in his face. Scully suddenly has an urgent need to get her hands on it.

Mulder’s eyes dart to hers and then back to Skinner’s. He shakes his head. “I need your support here,” he says quietly to their boss.

“What’s going on?” Scully asks, stepping up to Mulder’s desk, her eyes greedily trying to scan the sheet.

Skinner frowns at her and pulls the paper close to his chest, out of her reach. He studies Mulder for a long minute, then stretches his hands out on the desk, leaning into Mulder’s personal space. When he speaks, his voice is a strained whisper.

“Do I need to leave, Agent Mulder? Let you two figure this out on your own?” Once again, he only directs his attention to Mulder.

“Sir?” she interrupts agitatedly, but Mulder just shakes his head.

“I’d prefer for you to stay,” he says.

“Will someone tell me what’s going on?” she asks, eyes darting back and forth from one man to the next. It’s very rare for Skinner or Mulder to make her feel excluded, and she’s starting to get frustrated with both of them. She reaches forward and snatches the paper from her boss.

Mulder lurches forward to grab it but Skinner stops him with a hand to his chest. “Let her read it.”

Scully glances at Mulder questioningly and his eyebrows crease painfully. Her mind stutters at the look in his eyes. There is discomfort there, and a deep, expectant sort of agony, the likes of which she hasn’t seen since . . . since she revealed her cancer diagnosis. Her heart starts beating out of her chest. She suddenly recognizes that whatever is written on this paper has the potential to be life-changing.  

She shakes open the sheet and scans it quickly. Her brain seems to process the words faster than her emotions do. She blinks, shakes her head, and reads it again. And again. And again.

Once more. Once more, just to check. Just to make sure.

Heat blooms on her cheeks as her feelings catch up. With a slow-building fury, her eyes rise to Mulder’s.

“I also want to ask if this is some sort of joke,” she says darkly, her voice a quiet warning.  

Mulder studies her for a long minute, tapping his fingers agitatedly across the top of his desk. He seems to be holding something back and she wants to leap over the desk and knock it out of him. Finally, he shakes his head.

Her hands tremble with rage and the paper quakes under her fingertips. “You’re requesting my removal from the X-Files? And a transfer to Quantico? What the living hell, Mulder?” Her voice cracks and she chokes back the emotions rising in her throat.

When Mulder doesn’t immediately respond, she turns to Skinner. “You can’t seriously let him do this.”

Skinner glances down at his hands, which have taken a white-knuckled hold on the chair in front of him. He speaks calmly, in the type of tone that one uses only with suicide bombers or terrorists. “I’d like to hear Agent Mulder out, Agent Scully.”

Scully gapes. She whips to face Mulder, planting her hands on her hips. “Well? How do you explain this?”

Mulder meets her eyes again, and this time, the earlier pain she detected seems to have disappeared. Something new shines through his gaze—confidence, almost. Self-assurance. Righteousness. When he speaks, his voice is calm, poised, and firm. There isn’t a hint of unease to be found.

“This is a little awkward, Agent Scully,” he says with so much formality that it knocks her back. “But I think it’s important for us to face the reality of your situation. I think that you’re no longer cut out for the kind of work that we do. I’d like to request a new partner. Someone more formidable.” He pauses, and his steady gaze pins her in place. “Someone who doesn’t hold me back.”  

“Hold you back?” she repeats incredulously. “Mulder, I just spent the night holding you in a forest—”

He grimaces.

“Do you honestly believe that’s true, Agent Mulder?” Skinner interrupts. “That Agent Scully is no longer capable of doing her job?”

Her cheeks darken under their scrutiny. Never in her years working on the X-Files has either of these men ever belittled her or humiliated her in the way they are doing now.  

Mulder nods solemnly. “Things have changed since her cancer,” he explains. “I think we all assumed things would return to normal once we received word that she had gone into remission. But there are marked differences in her physical ability to carry out the tasks of the job.”

“Are you fucking serious?” she breathes. Mulder refuses to meet her eyes, that coward. She digs her fingernails into her palms and turns back to Skinner. “I’ll retake the exams. I’ll do the physical training again. Send me to the gun range, get the doctors to run whatever types of tests they need. I am more than capable of doing this job. Physically, mentally, emotionally.”

Skinner rubs a hand across his weary face, then shrugs deferentially towards Mulder. “Agent Mulder, if it’s just a question of her physical abilities, then those are things we can reassess with more training and testing, as she correctly points out. A transfer doesn’t exactly need to be on the table.”

Mulder lifts his eyes to hers. She holds her breath. He’s sending her a very clear message. Something is coming. Something painful and excruciating and life-changing.

“That’s not all sir,” he says steadily, not breaking their eye contact. Scully sways on her feet. “I’ve lost confidence in her as a partner and as a person.” A long pause. “Agent Scully is no longer someone I can trust.”

In the car, Scully blinks twice to shake the dream-memories from her vision. Hot, fiery anger swells up in her for the first time since laying eyes on him. Freshly reminded of his blindsiding betrayal, she wants to kick herself for letting him back in, for trusting him without question when he so boldly retracted his own trust in her. It’s taken months to push down those feelings of rage and hurt and mortification from what he did to her. Months to reclaim the last few shreds of confidence and dignity that he stole from her. Months to stop obsessing, analyzing, and questioning why he did it, where she went wrong.

A few months after moving to San Diego, she accidentally got drunk with her neighbor Andrea, a tall, gorgeous siren of a woman who loved to surf, drink, and meddle in other people’s business. After she tipsily told Andrea the details of her falling out with Mulder, the woman made a convincing point.

“Maybe he was trying to protect you in his own way. You said your work was dangerous, right? Do you think he just wanted to get you away from it, no matter the cost?”

Scully believes she owes Andrea her sanity. Somehow, her neighbor managed to piece together what she herself couldn’t see. Mulder didn’t kick her out because he thought she was a worthless partner; he pushed her away in some misguided attempt to save her. The thought was oddly comforting. On one hand, it settled some of her rage and indignation. On the other, it brought up new feelings, new doubts.

Maybe he didn’t think I was a bad partner, she concedes, but he certainly didn’t think twice about cutting me out of his life forever. He didn’t even give me a warning or a choice. He blindsided me. Plus, you don’t cut someone loose like that if you truly love them.

In the car, her thoughts flit momentarily to Alan, to their first few dates, to the first time she fell asleep cradled in his arms. For a moment, she misses him, misses the easy, comforting security he has always offered. He has never questioned her; never challenged her. He’s always just been around to reassure her. Unbidden, she wonders whether that’s what she likes about him—that with him, things are so easy, so uncomplicated. So reassuring. Does she love the feeling of being loved? Or does she love him?

“Scully?” Mulder interrupts. He’s still waiting for her to respond, to tell him she’s just fine.

She pushes herself to sitting and something falls from her shoulders—Mulder’s jacket. He must have put it over her while she was sleeping. She suddenly notices how cold it is inside the car.

“We should get moving,” she says. She clambers into the front seat, ignoring the way his eyes follow her.

They drive in silence for a long time, the heat pumping on high, the sun burning through the windshield, before he finally speaks.

“You feeling any better?”

“Mhmm,” she says tightly. She is still absorbed in her dream. She clenches the steering wheel as a wash of bitterness floods over her. He never loved me, at least not in the way I loved him.

She feels him studying her with those grey-green profiler eyes. He clears his throat. “Because you definitely seem . . . worse.”

She rolls her eyes, wishing he would just fall back to sleep. “I’m fine, Mulder.”

“I can drive for a while,” he offers. “I’m feeling better—”

“I’m doing fine on my own,” she snaps, her eyes flashing at his. “Or do you think I’m no longer physically capable of driving?”  

That shuts him up. She hears his mouth open and close and senses he wants to say more, but wisely, he doesn’t.  

After a time, he nods off, and as soon as his breathing deepens, it’s as if she can think more clearly. A sense of calm takes over as she glances at the deserted highway. What happened in the past is behind them. His decision to shove her out the door—whether it was an intentional, truthful attempt to get a better partner, or whether it was simply a clumsy effort at protecting her—is in the past. There’s no need to focus her emotional energy on unraveling the intricacies of why Mulder did what he did. All she needs to focus on now is getting them to Colorado. Once they’re in the safe house, she can bunker down in her own room and put some necessary distance between them. She will get through this, and when it’s all over, she will return to California and to Alan’s reassuring arms.

What she doesn’t need to do is sit here and try to understand Mulder’s motivations and emotions. Regardless of why he did what he did, it was a clear signal that any love she sensed between them wasn’t real. So she won’t engage anymore. She will be professional. She will be distant. She will protect herself.

All will be well. She sighs and her hands slowly start to loosen their grip on the steering wheel.

The rising sun glances off the rearview mirror and she squints, suddenly wishing for a pair of sunglasses. She lifts her eyes to readjust the mirror when she sees it. Two identical black SUVs about a mile behind them.

For a moment, she is able to convince herself that these twin vehicles are simply tourists passing through rural southern Utah. But then she notices how swiftly they are approaching. They’re making up the distance between their cars extremely fast.

She shakes Mulder awake furiously and he jumps, eyes darting around the car. She gestures behind her and he swivels, then curses under his breath.

His hand finds her thigh, squeezing hard and demanding. She shoots him a dirty look but he’s staring out the back window, his gaze fixated on the cars behind them.

“Get us out of here, Scully,” he urges, his voice low and deadly. “Now.”  

[healingskywalker]

Agony (Shot!Tech AU)

Hello all! I was inspired by the art of the lovely @wrenkenstein​ , who made me spiral so into my feels that I had to make a short story about Tech. Huge thank you to them again for letting me write this, and using this beautifully sad work of art as muse! (Art below)

In this, Tech has been shot by Imperial!Crosshair and is now suffering the consequences of having a permanent injury. I think the rest can speak for itself. Feedback is strongly encouraged, and I hope this finds you well. 

TW: blood, gore, mentions of depression, pain, anger, hopelessness, and injury.

Taglist: @l-lend

Things would never be the same for Tech. 

Agony slithered down his limbs, into his hands, into his fingers, and cascaded down into his soul. The pain is more than just physical. It’s more than just his body, his stomach, his spine, and his hands, it became his everything. The silent lover that he can never be apart from. It’s in his waking thoughts, his bedtime weariness, his daily routine, and it’s crushed down into every decision he makes, and every waking part of his life. 

His brothers may be free. Free from the shackles of an empire that took everything from them - their childhood, their innocence, their comfort, their joy, and twisted their livelihood into something that could be used for their gain—bred for war. A tool for destruction, doomed to a destiny of early death. In many ways, Tech never got that freedom. He never got that chance, and he isn’t free. He didn’t get that peaceful, or rather un-peaceful, moment of liberation that his brothers silently and secretly were relieved to have. 

The empire took everything from him. It stripped him bare, lying him still and cold on the battlefield, chest heaving with the effort of breathing, blood quickly exiting his body. His faith in his brothers, and the empire they once stood for, shattered in a singular heartbeat. His faith left him sooner than the blood did. 

His life was wrenched from himself, spinning out of control. There wasn’t a moment of relief. There wasn’t a moment of pause so he could breathe, collect his thoughts and feelings, and continue trooping on. There wasn’t anything else he could do except move forward and be the trooper that he was always trained to be. Accept the pain. Move on. You deserve the pain. Move forward. 

The shattering reality that things would never be the same hit him almost as hard as the bullet did. His mind never stopped, unlike his body, which hit the ground with a force unrivaled by anything he’d ever felt before. The blood started immediately. The pain took longer to kick in. 

Pain was the only thing he really felt now. It was the front focus of everything that existed in his life. Projects, people, emotions, dreams, and goals were all something that seemed to stay stuck in the past. They left him, truly left him, as he lay on the ship’s dining table, his brothers crowding around him, their frantic voices faint and muffled, as if 10,000ft deep underwater. 

His vision was blurred, and the only thing he could pick out was the fluorescent lights above him, streaked and blurred into shining stars that, had he been a weaker man, would have given him hope. Stars that continued to shine despite the situation he was in, but it was only his tired brain giving him the only excuse it could in order to make things feel better. Too bad he knew better than his brain. 

Too bad he knew that the chances of him surviving were low, and the chances of him coming out without significant damage were even lower. The room was muggy. His skin was pale, and the texture sweaty. His breaths left him in a flurry of quick heaving, hyperventilating, through the agony that seared his everything. 

Shivers raked through his body, pushing more blood through the gaping wound in his stomach. With each beat of his heart, his life source diminished, as did his hope. They were wasting too much time. Had he been the one doing the operation, with his brilliant mind, vast knowledge, and steady hands, things would have already been done. Leave it to his brothers to panic. They could never shut their emotions off quite like he could. 

Logically, he knew that their state of panic came from seeing him nearly dead, as well as having Crosshair be the reason behind it all. Tech’s eyelids fluttered once, twice, and then shut, squeezing them as tight as he could, brow furrowing into an expression of anguish as he felt them truly begin to work on his gaping wound. 

Somewhere deep in his mind, he thought about how much of a mess he was leaving behind on his ship, and how much of a pain getting blood off of the durasteel would be. Somewhere even deeper, he wished that he had died on the battlefield and that he had bled out quicker. The feeling of tweezers plunging into his intestines, the sharp metal stabbing its way along, attempting to locate the bullet that lodged itself into him was something unexplainable. 

Distantly, he heard a shrill, bone-chilling scream and came to the conclusion that it must have been himself. 

It had been almost a year since the incident, and remembering all the gritty details was something that happened often. He couldn’t ever forget the sound of his own screams, the smell of his own blood, and the feel of his intestines being ripped open. 

Most days he lay in bed or walked around in small circles in the Marauder, his head unable to be in the present moment. He could only handle small repairs now. Anything longer than 20 minutes, and fine motor function, he couldn’t handle. Every movement cause physical strain, and every muscle in his body would tense in response to the pain, and he was stuck with it for weeks, unable to relax or get his body to unknot itself, and no amount of baths, massage, or medicine dulled the ache. The ache physically, or emotionally. There was never a reprieve. And now? He could not longer do what he loved. 

It was suffocating. His life no longer lived in the essence of freedom, or the effort for it. Stuck in the moment where things all went wrong, and stuck in a body that will never work the same. They say you only really live once, but when things like this happen, what becomes the motivation to live? It’s not the ideal of getting better. 

There is no getting better. No amount of bacta, band-aids or physical therapy could fix something like this. 

He’s broken. 

Unrepairable. 

The stifling consequences of actions that he didn’t make. The illusion of a happy ending for him and his brothers. Because at least they aren’t being hunted anymore, right? At least not by the Empire. They don’t care enough to come after them, but Crosshair sure did. It was Crosshair’s mission to end them and hunt them down to the ends of the earth.

As much as he tries, Tech is always going to be hunted. Not only by the cursed Empire, or even the determined sniper but by the pain that surrounds his life every second, every minute, every hour of every day, awake or asleep. His dreams are haunted by the feeling and thought of the one moment that ruined everything.

He think often about the ‘how’ of the situation. 

How he should have ducked lower so that the shot hit his armor. How he should have retreated quicker, so Crosshair wouldn’t have had time to get the shot.

 How Crosshair’s chip activated, while the rest of the Batch’s remained dormant.

 How the chips existed in the first place. 

How the Kaminoans, senators, Jedi, and civilians alike regarded the Clones as nothing. 

How they all turned a blind eye to the blatant corruption, child abuse, and grooming that occurred within the Republic that raised good men to be even better killers. 

How the armor they received was more of a visual trick because the plastoid didn’t protect them from much. Certainly not from blaster bolts, and certainly not from themselves. 

How the conditioning they went through should have prepared him better for this moment and this outcome. 

He should have steeled himself for a gruesome end like this. But when you’re part of a squad that has a 100% success rate and dodging death is a daily, you tend to lose some of the fear that comes along with battle, They weren’t shinies anymore. 

They were experienced. They should have known better. Fear is a healthy thing to have in war. 

A sense of invincibility shrouds the mind and gives a false sense of confidence. He regrets that now. He never realized how much he had taken for granted. All the little things that he wouldn’t have thought twice about are now the struggle that plagued his every movement. It consumes and consumes and consumes.

 It’s never-ending, thrumming with him in every heartbeat. The heartbeat that keeps going despite every other part of himself that wishes it would all just stop (please stop, please, please, please). The heartbeat that wishes things could be different. The heartbeat that wishes he could be himself again.

[ckret2]

Since your Human Bill!AU has him as a person with a uterus, does he get periods? If he does, how does he react the first time he gets one? Is it possible for him to become Agent Powers’ baby momma?

Yeah, I figure he does.

Bill has some issues that arise from shoving an alien mind into a different species's body (such as his issues with binocular vision and balance issues). But once you set those issues aside, I imagine that otherwise the body he's been stuck inside is, at the outset when he receives it, normally abled. Peek inside his body and everything is built and structured the way a college anatomy textbook says a generic human body ought to be structured, all the hormones are in average ranges, etc. He got handed a body at peak adult performance. Mainly because the axolotl was like "you're gonna suck SO bad at this, you need every advantage you can get." If Bill had been sent to earth with a gluten sensitivity or back pain or whatever, he'd be dead within a week. Like not even from the disability itself, he'd just go "this is too hard" and lie down and give up.

(Caveat that I might change my mind on this later if I think of a condition that fits him well or that I think would be interesting to explore; but for now that's where I'm at.)

And if you take The Most Average Body With A Womb In It, in early adulthood, with no underlying health conditions—yeah, it's gonna bleed once a month and it's gonna be fertile.

I imagine he reacts to it about the same way as he does the first time he gets bad gas—"ow, that hurts, is something malfunctioning" followed by "oh, blood—okay, I know what's going on, I'm familiar with this phenomenon," and now that he knows X symptoms indicate the approach of Y event, he doesn't care the next time he experiences X symptoms.

He COULD become someone's baby mama—but I'm not planning on it. It doesn't fit in well with the other ideas I'm looking to explore with this AU. I'm angling toward a slow redemption arc (or, more accurately, a learning-to-be-a-better-person arc), and I feel like having the threat/promise of a baby pushing him would undermine the impact of any decisions he makes. Like yeah sure "bad character decides to become better because now they're starting to think about a helpless baby" is a fine plot arc—but that makes it EASIER to choose personal growth. If he's only thinking about HIMSELF, can he become better?

(And, outside of that, over on an RP blog recently I just roleplayed a character going through a full-length real-time nine-month pregnancy that concluded in January. It was a really fun project to do, but now that I'm done with it I don't wanna start ANOTHER pregnancy plotline. I've had enough of that for a while.)

So biologically, it's possible; narratively, I'm not gonna do it. THE MOST I might do is play with the idea (like "lies about being pregnant to fool a threat into going easy on him" or "accidentally gets knocked up and goes 'nope not doing that' and confidently aborts it"), but when push comes to shove I STRONGLY doubt those will be ideas I'll want to explore in the AU itself. Bill's just gonna have to put on his big boy pants and practice safe sex like any other human.

(Even as much of a reckless party animal as he is, I think he'll be better at this than some of his other human-body-maintenance tasks. If you skip showering then you smell bad—this is a consequence Bill doesn't care about if he isn't planning on interacting with a human he needs to impress. If you skip safe sex then you risk unpleasant diseases and a whole new person growing inside you—this is a consequence he DOES care about. He's probably not gonna get an A+ in safe sex practices but like, he'll get at least a C+. Some sort of passing grade.)

[hawkeyedflame]

I won’t lie your constant exposure to carnivore diet and other things you talked about have intrigued me but I’m currently a poor uni student with no job rn. Do you have any small tips for me on a low budget? I know I should be more specific about the advise but I’m asking as a catch all I guess. Sorry if I’m being a bother

(Sorry for the ramble I get sidetracked easily)

You're not bothering me. To some degree my advice will depend on whether you're a man or woman and what animal products you're willing to include/exclude. The "purest" form of carnivore is only red meat (meat from ruminant animals such as beef, lamb, elk, venison, goat, etc) with no dairy and no eggs. If that's not your style then include whatever you like. HOWEVER. I strongly recommend making fatty red meat the primary food, as well as eggs and butter if you like them and have no allergies. A lot of people think that the trick to keto/carnivore is that it's a low carb and high protein diet, but in fact the key to carnivore is that it is a high fat diet. Fat is the body and brain's optimal fuel source, so make sure you eat a lot of it. Lean meats like poultry and lean beef/pork cuts will not produce good results. If you're a woman, you will likely find that a caloric ratio of about 80% fat to 20% protein will feel the best. It is unclear exactly why women seem to benefit so much from this while men don't see much difference, but this means that women seeking this so-called "high fat carnivore" will have to supplement their meat with extra fat sources such as butter or fat trimmings. Personally, I get beef fat trimmings from a local butcher and cook them with each meal. If you're not a woman you can still do this, but it may not give much benefit over just eating meat normally (although there are male athletes who report that high fat is better for them, so for men it may come down to activity level). My theory for why women thrive more on a higher fat ratio is that large megafauna, most of which are now extinct, likely had a fat-to-muscle ratio that was closer to what the female body needs to support optimal hormonal and reproductive health. In the evolutionary timeline, these animals have not been gone for long and there's no reason to assume our biological processes would have evolved to be fully adapted to their absence yet. That's just my speculation though.

Anyway, for affordability, I think the most obvious answer is to shop the sales on everything and learn to work with cheap cuts of meat. I personally buy my beef by the animal, so I end up with a small handful of the prized cuts such as ribeyes and strip loins, and a whole lot of roasts, ribs, and ground beef. as a university student you do not have the financial bandwidth to do this, so you are stuck searching for the cheaper cuts like chuck, shank, top/bottom round, sirloin tip, as well as ground beef. all of these cuts can make delicious meals, especially if you opt to continue using seasonings (i personally do not, but neither do i begrudge those who are unwilling to give them up). these cuts are leaner, but if you add extra fat (trimmings or butter) then you can still get a good caloric ratio out of it.

if you or anyone you know has a Costco (or equivalent store) membership, you can also buy wholesale primal cuts. upfront cost is a bit high, but the price per pound is significantly cheaper than grocery stores. you can get brisket for like $2/lb at Costco

chicken is generally pretty cheap, especially if you buy the cheaper cuts like drumsticks and thighs. but again, it's very lean so be mindful of that. same goes for pork. also salmon is a really good and fatty option if you like fish.

i also save the melted fat which comes off when I cook beef fat, and reuse that whenever i need cooking oil for a different meal, so i don't burn through store bought tallow/lard or butter.

one of the biggest factors in determining your cost will be whether or not you are fussy about conventional vs pasture raised meat. if you are happy to eat conventional, then your costs will be significantly lower than if you insist on pastured products. as far as the impact on your health, there isn't much information about the difference between the two, i know people who eat conventional and others who eat pastured, they all feel good. for myself, and many people who choose pastured products, it's an ethical decision more than anything.

lastly, again i don't know your financial situation but if you have some wiggle room, you can look into an online butcher such as butcherbox, moink, betterfed, and others. the meat is a bit more wholesale so the price per pound tends to come out much cheaper than buying from a grocery store, however this again, like Costco, has a higher upfront cost.

i hope this information is helpful! let me know if you have any other questions and i'll do my best to answer them (hopefully with less rambling next time).

[saiakv]

Might there ever have been any lingering doubt of trust, it is absolved in this moment.

For when he told her he had something for her, this - a baby grand piano, sitting in contrast to the traditional realm surrounding it, mismatched and yet somehow remiss without - was not what she expected ( he listened, then ; what’s more, he remembered, he took to heart her confessions -- and what could that mean? ) . Clawed hands press over her mouth to suppress her gasp, Verona caught in a moment of rare, genuine astonishment, the prospect that he might go to such lengths for her leaving the savage woman rather staggered and startled, stuck in place, suspended in shock.

She steps cautiously forward ( lest it all might disappear as easily as own illusions conjured ) , hands slowly lowering, clasped tight to breast. Fair features sift between emotions, eventually donning a look of wistful joy. She gingerly grazes her touch over the keys, plucking a few notes. “I ought not accept something like this, you know,” Verona says at length, looking over her shoulder, her smile broadening into a grin; her features alit in elation, silvery eyes twinkling. “But I would hate to let such a gift go to waste. Especially now. What do you say, hm? Shall I play for you?” The olive branch taken and returned; seems less an offer and more a grace-given ( he has earned her faith ) .

Suguru might still be in his twenties, but he's fairly certain that he has experienced the larger portion of the emotion spectrum. Human ones, at least. Grief leaves a tangible weight in one's bones that he always seems to empathize with so strongly. He could not, of course, assume who or what that loss weighing on Verona's soul was. But it had been enough, in his mind, to excuse her transgressions — from one outcast to another, who else may have their backs if not each other?

His point was not so much to coerce, as to established. Naivety showed itself in the way he presented the gift, simply and without expectation. If she liked it, it would make her feel at home; and if she didn't like it, that was okay, too. Musical instrunments make excellent vessels for curses; an easy way to take out those few insolent monkeys whose bank deposits had waned over the last few months. Suguru tried to focus his smile on their interaction and not the sadistic contentment the thought of mailing a cursed piano to one of them would provide.

❝ Every member of my family has a place within our temples. What is mine, is yours; always. ❞ So the more that is made mine, the more will be yours — the implication rests on the curl of his lip. He watches her from a distance as she familiarizes herself with the gift; Suguru enjoys the dulcet pangs of a piano's strings, even if he never picked it up himself. He had only recently discovered the comfort of an instrunment's company, after all. His hands hide in the robes; when she turns, she'll be met with a tranquil gaze adoring the symbolism of this scene.

He knows then that he has earned something from her; a she-wolf's trust to have her fur brushed with a golden comb. She will fit right into his group and reserve her own place in the new world by his side — his confidence beams through crinkling eyes. A candid smile.

She opens her soul up to him on the keys and he watches, mersmerized, as deft fingers weave her story. There's always something eye-opening about moments like these — how brief the human life is and what little most people make of it by living caged behind their prejudice. But prejudice is just a symptom of their fear; and their fear so overwhelming that it rules over them, because of their weakness.

Again, it all comes down to his main reason for behind here, in the company of she who they call 'a savage'.

❝ I will be completely honest with you, Verona-san. Even from our previous conversation I was given to understand — that you are someone who knows what it is like to fall and be forced to make a long journey because of it. ❞ It's a reach, so he speaks the words tenderly as though not to spook a guarded heart. Empathy sweetens the tone when he sits up from his knees, light footfalls treading to the room's corner. A shamisen rests there, and unlike some of the other items in the half-vacant music room ( a room that is hers to decorate as she pleases from now on ) there is no dust collecting on its strings. Suguru fetches it with a playful smile before assuming the player's stance beside her.

❝ And people like this, like us... we tend to develop a taste for the finer things in life, I believe. Things that are said to speak to the soul. Like music. ❞ The plectrum trails over the strings; he plucks a few like greeting an old friend. With the newfound free time in his hands, he had practiced by the window overlooking his gardens on quiet afternoons; learning 'Moon over the Ruined Castle'. Suguru was well aware that his freshly developed skill was no way on par with the his comrade's; but this wasn't about writing the next big masterpiece, was it? He had seen it, in the gleam of her gaze, that music had once been her way of experiencing the world — of experiencing connection.

It was why his smile held an invitation when their eyes met again.

❝ Shall we see together, then, what song comes from our scars ? ❞

[mobius-m-mobius]

Bottle Rocket anon reporting in 🫡

First off I very much appreciate your note about Bob’s big brother in fact being Owen’s big brother—I did think Future Man had a curiously outsized role in the behind the scenes. Granted, that behind the scenes’ whole vibe was ‘we emailed everyone involved, professionally shot three who turned up, and stuck in the self-filmed rambles mailed in by a smattering of others’, so I sort thought maybe his screen time was a matter of ‘well, he did in fact show up’—although itbf his being Owen’s brother doesn’t strictly discount that theory 😆 (Also my other favorite bit of that video was the very opening clip where Wes is talking about how people tend to respond strongly to his films, whether positively or negatively, and the cameraman goes, ‘well, that tells you something!’ and Wes replies with such earnest befuddlement, and a tinge of hope like this cameraman just might reveal the secret of it all to him: “Yes, but what?”

I haven’t properly sat down for another film yet, but I’ve been putting on the Night at the Museum films in the background. I have seen them before when I was pretty young—in fact it’s about the only thing I’d seen Owen Wilson in for more than a cameo pre-Loki. Between having watched the NatM movies at an age when I only vaguely distinguished between actors and characters, and the association being reinforced by Owen’s habitual cowboy hat, for a long time Owen Wilson and that excitable little man were basically synonymous in my mind.

So going back to it now was, silly though it may be, the first time I watched it going ‘oh hey—that actor right there is acting! :D’ And sure it’s no Mobius or Dignan for complexity, but it’s good acting, too! Genuinely I think it’s one of the best performances in the series when it comes to capturing the sort of cartoon-y tone of all the museum-pieces while also giving the feeling that that’s a whole person right there. And he also, once again, a completely different physicality to Mobius or Dignan. I adore the choice to play his physicality in such a way that it sometimes feels like his body just isn’t big enough to contain or express the size of his emotions.

I also didn’t realize I’d never watched the third film until I started it, which was a nice surprise. And I knew about the whole handholding bit with Jedediah and Octavius, but not the context. It has such clearly defined beats of: Oct: “We should hold hands.” Jed: “For what reason 👀” Oct: "No reason! Unrelated, I am in fact gay.” Jed: “Hell yeah, hand holding time.” (With an added dash of sweetness in that it’s become a well-defined character trait that Jed is ready to deploy his dying speech at any time, but once it’s been established as on the table he goes, ‘I’d rather just be close to you, actually). Anyway, to me at any rate it plays as ‘close to canon as we could get away with in a big budget 2014 kids movie’, and I do appreciate it.

Hi again Bottle Rocket anon, always a pleasure!! 😊🚀💖

Oh I'm positive you're right about Andrew getting such a big role in the bts documentary just because he showed up regardless of being Owen's brother lmao, but they did luck out considering of everyone involved from an acting perspective he was the most likely one to actually give them decent talking points regarding the process leading up to filming, set vibes, and more insight on Owen and Wes than Owen and Wes themselves actually wanted to 😂

Definitely feel you too about not finding time to sit for another movie as I'm just the same and when I do manage enough free time to start one it's still not even enough to finish in a single sitting 😅 You're not the first who's mentioned NatM being the main association with Owen pre-Loki which is completely understandable, I hadn't seen any of the movies until after Loki S1 and would've been way happier having grown up with an excitable mini cowboy at the forefront of my mind, lol.

Love that you brought up his physicality and setting the vibe because one major thing that's constantly delighted me about Owen is how he naturally adjusts to not only the tone of a film but the other actors in a scene better than anyone I've seen before and I think people really underestimate how valuable that is?? It's easy to think "oh well that's just what acting is" but actually pulling it off across such a huge range of genres the way that he does is really rare and like you mentioned in NatM it's extremely noticeable that he makes Jed feel real in a very exaggerated premise which also stands out massively in his cameos where I always find myself wishing whatever movie took place during the ten minutes he showed up in is the full movie I was actually watching because he's such a breath of fresh air.

Also constantly get caught up in the way he carries himself because that's such a huge element to the personality of his characters! In comparison to how Dignan approaches people in a unexpectedly blunt way that leaves them wanting more and Mobius intrigues in such a genuine manner that catches everyone off guard, for all Jed's teasing he's direct enough that Octavius knows where he stands but not so much so that there isn't room for the big dramatic moments they both enjoy before settling right back at his side. It's not only nice to see they did get as close to canon as likely was possible in such a big budget kids movie but that we all at least have a lasting ship of Owen's with a happy ending to console ourselves with after the Loki finale! Small victories and all that, haha

[hdsc-ace]

Acosmist - Moonknight

I. Ptah

Masterlist Rest of my work.

Warnings: none.

Lucilla Spector Encounters someone she didn't expect to in London.

"I sense Khonsu has plans for his avatar." A voice called out from the back of Lucilla's mind before a figure appeared began walking beside her down the streets of London.

"Like you mentioned the past seven days." Lucilla groans, her hand sliding into her pocket to retrieve her headphones. The girl's eyes scan the people around her as she places one into her ear, playing no sound. "But we don't need to worry about him."

"One shouldn't doubt him." 

"Alright." The woman agreed, wanting the conversation to end. Every day for the past week, all the God would go on about was Khonshu and his so called plans. It was exhausting to listen to. However there was no arguing with Ptah.

"Even if he was planning something, we can't interfere. We already have the Ennead on our back." Lucilla reasoned, reminding of her old friend of the last encounter they had with the council. It was safe to say that one wrong move and the council wouldn't be just disappointed.

"The council will not see the truth." Ptah states.

"Mhm." The girl hummed, "they never do." She added sarcastically. From the amount of times Ptah stated the same phrases, they began to get stuck in Lucilla's head.

The girl continued to scan the people around her as she walked closer to a particular building. One that a particular God moved to rest upon the roof of.

"I say we just let it happen." Lucilla adds, stopping in her place to look at the God.

Ptah was a peculiar God in style. He had a sort  of curved blue head with a ball in the middle of it in the same colour. It was outlined with gold as well as his neck which was coated with beads. But to top it off the God held a long staff in a shape of a hammer at the tip which he was using to keep his balance on the roof.

"Khonshu would come to them when he's ready right?" The girl shielded her eyes as the sun blared from behind the God.

"Lucilla." Ptah says strongly, his grip on his staff tightening as he spoke. He clearly disapproved of the girl's idea for Khonshu.

"Ptah." Lucilla copied the tone of voice from the Egyptian God.

"Don't be so ridiculous." 

Lucilla chuckled slightly at the god's sarcasm. "You wish." The girl muttered similar to when the God first met Lucilla and recruited her to be his avatar.

On their first encounter, Lucilla was a nobody but a young girl living on the streets. But now, all Lucilla does is run across London to Wakanda doing tasks upon his behalf.

"Lucilla." Ptah called out once again, his tone got colder.

In the end the girl gave in with a small grumble, "Fine." She watched as the god before her disappeared from view. Her eyes shifted from the roof towards the people around her before she began walking again. "God sometimes I wish you didn't pick me as your avatar."

"No you don't."

Lucilla struggled to maintain a straight face at Ptah's words despite the God seeming like her only friend during the past few years. Travelling from country to country didn't have much benefits but the God did watch the girl's life crumble and then be rebuild numerous times over and over again.

"Y'know, Khonshu won't let us get close enough to his avatar to strike an attempt of contact." The girl stated in attempt of shifting the conversation back to the original topic as she slid her hands into her pocket. "He'll notice us from a mile away, alter him and then we're completely screwed.

"Khonshu will allow us," Ptah reasoned, "Don't worry."

The Egyptian deities always baffled Lucilla with their business and how everything worked despite how many times Ptah attempted to explain it. However in most of these situations, the girl usually manages to achieve what Ptah requested and be nothing of the wiser. It was a complete mystery how she spent a while as an avatar and never actually learned a thing.

"I'm gonna have to take your word for it," Lucilla grumbled in defeat at her attempt of trying to get out of another task. "Again." She added with a drag. The gods was Ptah's knowledge and The mortals were Lucilla's both held knowledge the other didn't. However having missing gaps in knowledge killed the girl. She didn't know a thing to go off of on some situations.

"Have you got a name?" The young girl questioned, praying the God hear something she never did in their time in London.

A name will be one step closer to their goal but it was unlikely Ptah heard more than Lucilla did as they scanned the streets of London.

"No." The god answered, immediately dipping Lucilla's mood.

"Cheers buddy." Lucilla thanked sarcastically as a loud buzz interrupted their conversation. The girl made sure to glance over that Ptah's form within the crowds before taking it out of her pocket.

Call incoming. Layla El-Faouly Accept or Decline

Lucilla's phone tapped against her phone case as she debated answering her old friend's call. The girl was quick to decide and accepted the call.

"Hello?" She answered, begging to pick up speed to cover the ground she lost whilst messing about with Ptah previously.

"Hey, luck." Layla's voice responded from the other end of the line through a nervous breath.

It had been a long time since the two last held a conversation. A few weeks after Layla's husband walked out and disappeared on her, leaving the girl completely in the dark on the reasoning. Originally back then Layla called Lucilla in hopes of gaining any answers that she might of stumbled across. But of course, the two siblings refused to communicate after Lucilla left.

However, now, Layla rarely kept in contact with her ex-sister-in-law. There was no need.

"You okay?" Lucilla questioned, noticing the shift from Layla's old tone in her voice. "You don't just call me out of the blue like this."

"Right." Layla stumbled, forgetting why she called the younger girl for a moment. "Something odd just happened. Not odd per say but..." The woman struggled to form a sentence but quickly took a breath to think before speaking again. "It was a call. From Marc. Well... it was his phone but it wasn't him. He had an accent of some sorts."

"So someone found his phone and called you back?" Lucilla questioned, "That's not a big deal right?"

"Maybe." Layla agreed, "I'm positive it was him on the other end, Luck, but it wasn't-" She began to fumble over her words again.

"You mentioned an accent." Lucilla interrupted, snaking off into a empty alley way that lead directly to the national history museum. "Define accent."

"British."

"He's in London?" Lucilla exclaimed in a rather loud tone, causing a few stares as she quickly quietened herself down. "Why is Marc in London?"

As the girl calmed herself down, Ptah appeared just out of the alley way, directing his attention towards a man barging through the crowds. It was a subtle and Ptah's way for signalling for the girl to follow him. And she did with a bit of a sprint, hanging up on Layla almost immediately by accident.

"The avatar is near." Ptah called out as Lucilla's eyes locked onto a familiar figure, loosing Ptah's target in the process. "Lucilla." He called out again, watching her appearance change.

"Marc?" The girl called out, attempting to catch up with the familiar man whilst barrelling through the crowds. Of course he chose a crowded area to be seen in. "Layla I'll call you back." Lucilla muttered before ending the call, the man never left her gaze.

"Marc!" Lucilla called out, this time much louder in a way that the man couldn't miss. The girl was quick on her toes as she squeezed herself past numerous groups of people to catch up to the man.

"Lucilla." Ptah called out again, attempting to maintain the original mission, but the girl refused to listen.

"Marc Spector!" Lucilla called out to him again, reaching her hand out for enough to grab Marc's coat.

Marc quickly spun around to face the girl with a scared look on his face but Lucilla didn't care. That man hurts people everywhere he went.

"What is wrong with you?" The girl questioned, tone raising with each new sentence that formed in her mouth. "Leaving her with no explination, no note."

"I'm sorry, what?" Marc questioned Lucilla himself but in a weird British accent. It was similar to the one Layla heard earlier that day. "Apologies but I think you have the wrong guy. This has already happened to me today and I'm not who you're looking for." The questions were quick to turn into an apology as Marc began to walk away, "Please tell your friend that."

Lucilla quickly grabbed Marc's wrist, pulling him back to her as she scanned his face. It was littered with faint scares for his time as a mercenary, there wasn't a chance that this man isn't Marc.

"Stop bull shifting me Marc." The girl's grip tightened against his skin. "Just because you left Layla doesn't mean I'm going to stop. You owe me." Lucilla was quick to state, releasing her grasp.

"I'm not ignoring anyone." Marc repeated in the same annoying British tone.

"What the hell is going on with you!" The girl asked, growing annoyed with Marc's constant act. She wants a straight answer and of course, like usual Marc can't give it.

"Listen," Marc spoke softly, "I don't know what you're on about, okay. I found a phone in my apartment and now two women are now calling me Marc. I don't even know a Marc. I'm Steven Grant."

Steven Grant. The name repeat replaying to Lucilla. It was familiar but the answer was so far.

As the girl went to answer, Marc's eyes began to roll into the back of his head with a stumble. He quickly regained composure before speaking.

"You need to leave." Marc ordered in his regular accent.

"No." Lucilla stated, holding her ground firmly as Marc attempted to move her away.

"Luck." Marc pleaded, "You need to leave.

"Not until you give Layla her answers." Lucilla stated, knowing that he can't stand hearing about Layla anymore. "That's the only reason I'm even talking to you right now." The girl explained, ripping Marc's arms off of her.

"Keep Layla away." Marc ordered, "She can't be here, and neither should you. Stop following us and go home, Luck."

He was quick to depart after stating his orders, making his way back to the museum. Lucilla continued to watch him stumble back a bit before looking around nervously again.

"The avatar." Ptah attempted to maintain the mission once again.

However, Lucilla wasn't up to dealing with Ptah's issues whilst dealing with Marc's in one day. So the girl muttered a quick "not today"

"You don't understand." The god attempted to persuade Lucilla to listen to him but she didn't.

"I don't want to." The girl stated, slowly making her way towards the museum. "Give me a day to figure this out for Layla and we'll get back on track with Khonshu." Lucilla proposed, "I promise I'll get back on track afterwards."

"Don't tell me that I didn't warn you." Ptah caved with a groan, leaving the girl in silence shortly after.

[m1d-45]

" archons who lose their character, things they held dear falling to dust, their minds swallowed by the alternate and their separate realm of existence- OH WHAT If"

YOU SO REAL FOR THIS

you got pretty much exactly what I was trying to convey, I wanted the archons to lose their minds by praying/being near alternate creator and the children to be more susceptible/the first to fall in this apocalypse scenario

BUT ALSO THE SHIT U MENTIONED AT THE END, it's so good angst and sadness that I love. having people put there complete and utter trust in a lie and be corrupted by this incredibly horrific disgusting thing. that just keeps sucking away at them

but just how I love angst I love happy endings. so what about the reader descending down to teyvat? how would their presence respond to the cold darker place teyvat has turned into

but also if the reader couldn't escape their alternate in their reality, how would they go about surviving in teyvat? what would the alternate!archons do? what if the reader healed the broken spirits of the people? what if reader meets one of the archons and they just know, they know they've been played but that it's you who is their god

ooo just thoughts, let's just say I love this au, it has potential.

-🍄 (most of what I've been writing about isn't really in the Mandela catalogue I think, I'm mostly using it as a basis of my thought process so don't feel bad that you haven't seen it. I think where both pretty even on our understanding of the canonical Mandela catalogue, anyways ily take care)

mushroom welcome back my dear

as always, below the readmore :)

i’m reading this with the alternate!creator being readers alternate bc they’re the creator btw, so i imagine they’ve at least encountered one, even if they don’t remember it.

but alternate!archons meeting reader…

if we take that to mean the alternates of the archons, they both recognize you on sight and are either deathly afraid or insanely angry. you’re the one thing that can topple their empire, so they’re either afraid of you for it or pissed off at you. why would you ruin what they’ve built? can’t you see it’s perfect enough?

if we take that to mean corrupted archons being driven to the alternate!creator by their own twisted faith, then….. ough…

corrupted archons who don’t know why they feel so strongly for you, emotions they forgot they had resurfacing with a vengeance. they’re husks, empty shells of gods, puppets who don’t know anything but their ‘god’. their friends have left them and they don’t do anything without a given order, sitting in mental stasis until they’re called upon.

so you?

when you come in, and they feel, and they need, and they have urges and temptations and suddenly it’s as if they’re seeing color for the first time, the beautiful shade of your eyes drawing them back to a world they barely remember.

i can see it going two ways.

either the alternate’s hold on them forces their hand without their meaning to, and they have to watch as they destroy the one light in their life of shadow. their body is hateful when their mind is not, and they have to watch, stuck, as you run in fear, betrayal in your eyes.

or, they still have a semblance of control. they can hiss in a breath, reaching a hand for you, slowly and shaking as they reach, hand outstretched. the corruption within them hisses and seethes, yanking them back from the light, and the best they can do is repress the pull until you’re far enough away that they can scream.

they’re caught in a web they can’t control, strings pulling at their body and telling them to kill, to remove the brightness, and they don’t know whether to follow. they like you, they like the light you bring and how it feels as if everything will be okay, that they don’t have to worry, that they can close their eyes and rest.

the darkness says that your light is evil, that youre made of poison and full of knives. and it’s the only thing they know, so they listen.

(should they?)

[come-chaos]

I ended up liveblogging my entire rewatch of TBB S1 on Discord and the result was somewhat extensive, so I figured: why not stick it on my tumblr as well? Not because I expect anyone to read it, but because I’m very excited that having a week entirely to myself (I got covid for Christmas) resulted in me actually having the brainpower to form coherent thoughts about what I was watching. So here we go:

_________  

Ep 1) This is my favourite episode. I love the opening setting with the snowy wilderness, especially as so much of the series takes place in more urban settings or indoors. Having seen the entire season, I also really like how the conflict between Hunter and Crosshair is established here already.

– Tech has so many great lines in the first half of this episode. He clearly has strong opinions and feelings about everything that's going on. I really like the way he's written.

– The mess hall scene still cracks me up. Poor Echo and Crosshair. 🤣

– The combat simulation is also so much fun. Like [friend] said, it's great to see all of them working as a team. I especially like the way Tech and Wrecker work together here, and how Tech translates the hand signals to Wrecker into a reference that he can understand ("what we did on Felucia").

– "Every choice you've made since Kaller has been wrong." I would love to know exactly what's going on in Crosshair's mind. Is he dealing with any dissonance at all, or is this the only truth he knows?

– I'm still disappointed and confused by Echo's lack of robo legs in the prison scene, but that's the only negative I find worth mentioning.

– The soundtrack from just after the prison break and until they run into Crosshair is very minimalist and cool.

_________

Ep 2) Omega finding dirt amazing is still so heart-warming and heart-breaking and hilarious all at the same time.

– This episode has some nice Echo moments. I like his expression when Tech points out that they've become deserters and how strongly he reacts when Cut mentions Rex.

– "Clones wanted names instead of numbers, but now people are signing up to be given numbers." This is definitely the line I remember the most clearly from this episode. It says so much about where the Empire is heading, but it also hits extra hard because Echo is most certainly thinking of one very specific clone when he says that first part. 😭

– Echo and Tech is another duo I really like seeing work together! Something that stood out to me this time around is how naturally Tech covers Echo while Echo is working, even though Tech is usually profiled as someone who would typically be on the other side of that arrangement.

_________

Ep 3) In which Echo and Tech continue to be a moderately successful team with limited interpersonal patience and trust. 😂

– I'd forgotten how Hunter, Tech, and Echo just keep shrugging at each other when Omega wants to go with Hunter to track down the dragon. They were raised as soldiers, so of course it's hard for them to think of a reason not to let her do the same things that they do.

– This episode is better than I remembered! I originally got a bit stuck on the 'Omega saves the day' plotline, but there's a lot more going more going on here.

– Crosshair's Kallus moment is so sad. 😭

– Wrecker is so sweet in this episode. 🥺 I like that being a good caretaker doesn't come naturally to him just because he has more emotional awareness, but that we get to see him put conscious effort into it.

_________

[Here comes a side note I added:]

Something I've thought about repeatedly during this rewatch so far is how deeply I disagree with the notion that Tech is a stereotype. He's usually less emotionally expressive than the others, but he clearly has strong feelings about Order 66 and the Empire. He frequently talks over people's heads, but he's also able to facilitate communication between his team members ("what we did on Felucia"). He's the brains of the group, but he dual wields 17's like an ARC and has never been shown as anything less than proficient in combat. He's a little awkward with Omega, but is clearly shown looking out for her.

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Ep 4) In which Tech has to remind his team that they live in a capitalist society.

– Echo and Omega inspecting the clone trooper doll always kills me. 😭

– Hunter selling Echo is still way funnier than it should be. "Fine, but not at that price. I'm worth more than 2000." 🤣

– "You got me for a bargain." 🤣 🤣🤣

– It makes me weirdly happy to see Echo command his little squad of droid mechanics. He's taking control over a situation that must have been very uncomfortable for him. 🥺

– (What I really want to know is why Echo had a droid costume in the first place. There has got to be a story there.)

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Ep 5) In which Tech gets to berate Echo for leaving out information (about not having met Cid).

– "Or he was arrested for violating countless health code regulations." 🤣

– I love Echo's little smirk when he's stopping Omega from touching things.

– ... and how Wrecker holds out his hand for Omega to high five when Cid says that she's the brains.

– Returning to the opening of the episode, I like that we see the boys taking steps to ensure Omega's safety. They're learning from their mistakes!

– I know that the conversation about slavery seems like a missed opportunity to address the Republic's ownership of the clones, but I feel like Omega holding the clone trooper doll still kind of addresses it in a very subtle way. The clones clearly don't think of themselves as slaves, so it's not something they can talk about, but an observant viewer might notice the clone as an object in Omega's hands and put two and two together. Unless it's a coincidence and I'm giving the producers way too much credit, but I'd really like to think it was intentional. 😶

– Wrecker references a previous mission to communicate with the others - check!

– After mainly getting bonked in the head in the previous ep, it's nice to see Wrecker save the day.

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Ep 6) In which absolutely no one thinks it's a bad idea to let Omega shoot space arrows towards the door opening where anyone can enter at any moment. 🤣

– Echo is so sweet with Omega even though he has no idea how to train a child that isn't a clone cadet.

– Ah, yes, it's time for "is there an echo in here"! It's so silly and easily one of my favourite moments in the show.

– I like Trace and Rafa, and I think they have a fun dynamic with the BB. I wouldn't mind seeing them again in S2.

– Hunter is pretty cool in this episode.

– Actually, they all look cooler (and weirder 💕) when juxtaposed with some normal people. I love it when a show makes me shift to an outsider POV for a moment and lets me have a fresh look at the protagonists. (The upcoming Ryloth plotline would be the main example of this.)

– [Here I tagged a friend whom I had been talking about Tech with], another emotional Tech moment: Tech is clearly disturbed by the news that their attempt to retrieve the tactical droid came close to sabotaging Trace's and Rafa's mission for the rebellion.

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Ep 7)

– Rex is so good with Omega. 🥺

– There's a very satisfying hissing sound when Echo's helmet fits itself around his cybernetics.

– The Fives mention! I so hope that Echo and Rex will have another little chat about Fives in S2.

– The sound effects and music when Wrecker's chip kicks in are so good. Again, the soundtrack turns minimalist and industrial when the BB is in danger from one of their own. The result is super cool and I appreciate being able to enjoy the scene without having to lower the volume.

– As much as I think Wrecker gets hit too hard with the comic relief tropes (though it's perfectly understandable given that it's a family show), it probably serves to make him even more terrifying in these scenes. That, and the fact that the camera spends so much time at Omega's eye level.

– Ugh, this is such a good episode. Such an emotional rollercoaster.

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Ep 8) In which Echo takes a very sexy shot.

– Can anyone else make sense of the scene where they're heading back into the Venator and Echo looks like he's reaching out for Omega, but Wrecker notices and slaps him? It's so weird to me. 😂

– Poor Echo really wanted to go with Rex. 😔

– I like the scene with Tech and Omega, and I think a lot of other autistic people would agree that "What was the war like?" is a rather hopeless question to answer. 😅

– I think this episode shows that Tech's optimism, rather than overconfidence, is one of his main weaknesses.

– "I've never been inside an ion engine before" / "It'd be weirder if you had" 🤣

– The old Venator was such a cool choice of location. I love the visuals of the engine.

– The scene with Cad Bane and Hunter is pretty good and I like the soundtrack, but I do feel that it fits poorly in the episode, especially in the middle of all that Crosshair whump (which is glorious), though I suppose Hunter getting injured at the same time as Crosshair makes for a good way to continue to connect them in the narrative. Then comes the FPS view, which makes me claustrophobic and nauseated, so I'm probably biased against it, but I don't think it fits either. Opening the next episode with it might have worked a lot better! I do think it's fun that the producers dared to experiment with style and genre, and I certainly don't hate the result, but I wish it would have been put together more smoothly (though it's very possible that this would have required additional minutes that the budget didn't allow for).

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Ep 10) In which we are reminded that Echo's moral compass is actually biased, and Echo meets a Separatist who challenges that bias, resulting in ✨ character development ✨

– Echo sniffing the Mantell Mix is still so funny.

– "You and Omega loop back around" / "That would be impossible seeing as Omega is not on this mission" 😭

– I don't think I'm supposed to find the AT-TE's cute, but they look like big, friendly animals.

– "I never much cared for that vase" 😂

– Wrecker has some really nice badass moments in this episode.

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Ep 11) It's Ryloth time! I watched TBB before Rebels, so it's really fun to watch this again now that I know who everyone is and where they end up.

– I don't imagine Crosshair ever got to voice his opinions like he does on Ryloth when he was still a member of the GAR. Crosshair has so many reasons to stay loyal to the Empire, which is something I really like about the show.

– And here we go! The outsider perspective on the protagonists. The Marauder landing and the BB disembarking still gives me goosebumps. I'm such a dork. 😅

– Omega's and Hera's friendship is so adorable. I don't know much about children, but I feel like their scenes together are really well written.

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Ep 12) I still have an hour to go before this year ends (or I did when I started typing this), so let's finish the Ryloth arc before my parents call me and the fireworks start. 😆

– "Don't worry, we're defective too" 🥺

– Tech's optimism again! "Children often overreact."

– Meanwhile, Omega has finally got Hunter wrapped completely around her finger. ❤️

– Hunter senses the probe droid! We really don't get to see him use his abilities enough.

– Ahh, the staring contest between Crosshair and Howzer. It's the kind of scene that feels like it exists to inspire fanfiction. 😂

– I like Howzer just fine, but I have the weirdest case of jealousy when it comes to his imitation of Fives. I just don't like it when people act as if he's more amazing than Fives, because he isn't. He isn't. 😡 (🤣)

– Hera flying the shuttle is so funny, both the general chaos and Tech's reactions. "Yes, your dangerous and uncontrolled maneuvering is as confusing to them as it is to us." 🤣

– Also, I've been wanting to mention this for just about every episode, but I love how good of a pilot Tech is.

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Ep 13) Seeing as I'm now very much awake, I'll watch one more episode tonight.

– I love that the Weequay and the Ithorian apparently just follow Cid wherever she goes. I have no idea what their relationship with Cid is, but the three of them are clearly some sort of package deal.

– Echo's "the what?" when Cid mentions the hive is so funny.

– When Hunter keeps shielding Omega from the Pykes and the Pyke says they're going to keep her as a hostage and all the boys draw their blasters. 🥺😭

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Ep 14) I'm having too much fun. Just one more episode.

– Omega watching Hunter twirl his knife and trying it with her hyperspanner is the cutest thing EVER.

– The face Echo makes at Hunter when they're debating whether to help Gregor is amazing. Like the angriest puppy dog eyes. I'd love to think that he picked it up from Omega, who clearly has great success when using it on Hunter.

– "You did that on Skako Minor when you rescued me" still makes me emotional. 🥺

– "That's Captain Traitor" is still so funny.

– I really enjoy Tech's piloting in this episode, and the way he takes over from Omega is so sweet.

– Seeing Hunter all alone in the forest, ordering the others to leave him behind, still hurts.

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Ep 15) In which Crosshair steals the entire show.

– Echo is so sweet when he kneels down to check on Omega. 🥺

– The scenes with Hunter and Crosshair are so intense. "We didn't have a choice." / "And I did?" 😭

– Tech's "How could I possibly know that?" is so funny, and the way Wrecker just assumes that Tech knows everything is so sweet.

– I've been trying to figure out what the chain of command looks like when Hunter is gone, but I still haven't reached a conclusion. I would assume that Tech is in command, but he and Echo seem like they share the job?

– "You weren't loyal to me. [insert full speech here]" 😭 I just love Crosshair's entire thing in the training room. Just everything he says and does. The sequence where Tech sees the reflection in the knife is also amazing.

– I've said this before, but I'll say it again: Crosshair is right about Omega. If the point is to protect her from danger, then Hunter is doing it wrong. (And Crosshair knows this first hand. On Bracca, when he still had his chip, he ordered his troopers to aim for Omega. That wouldn't have happened if Hunter hadn't brought her there in the first place.)

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Ep 16)

– Ah yes, the poor clone who has to report on the destruction of Kamino.

– Ah yes, let's almost drown Crosshair. His life is the worst. And the way he rips his arm away from Omega the second he's free. 😭

– ... only to slide on his back across the floor and look super pathetic at Hunter's feet. Oh how the stickly have fallen. 😔

– The dialogue in the underwater tunnel is one of the best in all of SW imo. It just makes me really happy that these characters are allowed to be complicated and have complicated relationships with each other. And what Tech says to Crosshair is something a lot of people in this fandom need to get tattooed on the inside of their eyelids. You can understand someone without agreeing with them.

– Seeing Crosshair and Hunter stuffed into that pod together makes me feel a thousand emotions on top of the ones I was already drowning in. (Tech and Echo sharing one is also pretty cute.)

– "I can't see anything. / "That is a good thing." 😅

– The music when Omega goes after AZI is so damn good.

– Crosshair's reaction to all the others aiming at him after he takes that shot absolutely murders me. He's so resigned when he sits back down. No one even says thank you.

– Crosshair always seems to be the last to get up in this episode. It's not just that he actively keeps his distance to the others. He moves more slowly. Not to mention the way he almost falls apart in the lab before Omega approaches and he has to act functional again. He's not doing well at all. And with that, my fanboy batteries are fully charged and I'm vibrating at top speed in anticipation of S2. ✨