#he is too perfect for my art skills to capture it

[lazy-b1rdy]

haaaaiii :-)

wanted to draw this cool narrator by @lexumpysfunland !!!!

I really like their art style and characters haha

bonus doodle:

skidaddling away

[nvathuw]

You’re no longer my muse

I’m no longer your dreamy artist

‘Cause life flows like a breeze

Gently leaves marks on our hearts

[dotster001]

If your still doing requests can you do a scenario where in the ghost bride event instead it’s the ghost groom and yuu is the one being captured as the bride

The Ghost Groom

Summary: Fem! Reader

CW: just like the ghost bride, the ghost groom has unrealistic expectations about what a princess is, Fem reader, reader gets kissed, but ooooh by whom?

A/N: figured this one was perfect for spooky week! I always enjoy giving the boys opportunities to be silly

One second you were resting in Ramshackle, the next a blue, and handsome, ghostly looking figure was gazing at you lovingly as you slept.

"Oh my God, is this sleep paralysis?" You whispered.

He giggled and booped your nose gently. "No silly. I'm just admiring my princess while she rests! Is there something wrong with that?"

You stiffened, and slowly creeped your hand over to hopefully wake Grim.

"Princess?" You asked nervously.

"Mhmm. I've searched so long for you. You can't blame me for just staring, right?"

"I think you are looking for someone else. I'm not a princess." Your hand finally reached Grim and you attempted to shake him awake.

He frowned. "Princess is a state of being. It's in the glint in your eyes, the quirk of your smile, your adorable furry companion, and your eccentric living quarters. Why, everything about you says, 'beautiful princess waiting for prince charming to save me!' But don't worry too much about it. Once we wed you will be a princess in title as well!"

"Huh?" You croaked out, hearing Grim groan out a confused sound, as some ghost knights approached the bed and pulled you along with them.

…..

"Headmage, the ghosts kicked us out of the school," Ace whined in Crowley's office.

"Headmage, what is going on?" Riddle asked.

"They took my sleeping spot," Leona grumbled.

"Oh, I suppose it is that time again," Crowley groaned, massaging his temples. "Every four years, on this night, the ghosts rise from the grave in search of a bride for the Ghost Prince. They'll be gone by morning. Nothing to worry about. Although," he paused thoughtfully, "usually they only camp out in Ramshackle. They don't tend to go much farther than the greenhouse. It's odd that they'd commandeer the school."

As if on cue, Grim burst into the room.

"Headmage! Some ghosts stole my henchhuman! You have to do something!"

Plan A

"I can't believe we agreed to this," Epel muttered bitterly.

The task force was made up of himself, Lilia, Vil, Silver, and Jamil. The "prettiest" members of the school.

The ones who could pretend they were women and get away with it.

"You want to save Y/N, yes? Then don't blow this, and remember your training," Vil snapped.

Epel grumbled and hiked up his skirts as he climbed a flight of stairs.

"Epel, the art of disguise is a very useful skill. It's something you can use for the rest of your life," Silver offered.

"Ah, that's my boy!" Lilia grinned, ruffling Silver's styled hair affectionately.

"I wouldn't do that, Vil might kill you," Jamil snickered.

The trip was long, and some of the task force had not walked in heels before, but they soon arrived in the dining hall.

"No, no, no! That is the wrong color! Everything must be perfect for my love and my special day!" The prince snapped at a ghost servant who was laying out a tablecloth.

And that's when they saw you. Dressed in a pearl white gown, a shimmering veil in your perfectly styled hair. You were covered in pearls and diamonds, and wearing an enormous, glowing, ring.

Oh. And you were tied down to a chair.

"Play it cool," Vil hissed to Epel, who was about to not play it cool.

Lilia stepped forward first, practically floating as he walked over to the prince in his large green ball gown.

"Your highness," he curtsied deeply, putting on a sweeter, higher pitched voice than normal. "We hope we are not too late. But we heard you were searching for a princess, and wanted to prove we were the truest princesses."

The ghost looked between you and Lilia, confusion on his face.

"But I've already picked my bride."

"They seem to be truer princesses than I am, Erik. At least give them a chance," you said hastily.

He pressed a hand to his chest in awe. "Your kindness knows no bounds! Truly, there can be no better bride than you! But to ease your heart," he turned back to Lilia. "You have permission to try and woo me."

Lilia curtsied again. "You are so kind. It is I! Princess Lilia! I can offer you a large kingdom, with many riches."

"But what is inside your heart, Princess Lilia. Do you have an animal companion?"

"I have a dragon!"

The prince gasped, and shot a bolt of blue lightning at Lilia, causing him to groan.

"A true princess must be rescued from dragons! She would never have a dragon companion!"

"Can't move," Lilia groaned. "Retreat." He hissed from his teeth, but it was too far, too late for them to escape now. Erik's eyes were on them.

"Your highness," Vil gave the most beautiful curtsy anyone had ever seen. "I have no animal companion, for my companion is my loyal hunter and bodyguard, who protects me from all the sins of the world."

"Hmm. That is very princess-like."

"This is so fucked up," you groaned.

"And you are very beautiful. Perhaps you are a true princess," he looked back at you thoughtfully, and your breath hitched. Were you about to be free?

"But Y/N is also a true princess."

"Oh please," Vil snorted. "As beautiful as she is, we all know I am the fairest."

You didn't feel as bad when Vil got struck with the blue lightning. It was well deserved, in your opinion.

"Comparing your beauty to another's is not very princess-like!"

Epel pushed Jamil forward, much to his dismay.

"Um. Your highness, I will bring you great gifts. My kingdom has," Jamil bit his lip nervously, "Jams. Lots of jams. Grape jam. Pear jam. Yam Jam."

"Yam Jam!" You tried to sound excited, hoping it would entice Erik. 

"And jellies!"

"Oh!"

"And spoons! Tiny spoons! How did they get so tiny?"

You gave a cough, and Jamil froze. Then you heard, "Snake Whisper."

"You are unworthy of Y/N, and will give them to me," he said smugly.

Erik raised a brow. Then screeched. "How dare you! I am a true Prince. Of course I am worthy of Y/N!"

Blue flashed and Jamil was frozen.

"So, snake whisper doesn't affect ghosts. Got it," Jamil muttered under his breath.

"Panicked, huh?" You snickered.

"A little, yeah," he whispered back.

Epel stepped forward next, giving an unenthusiastic curtsy.

"I'm Princess Epel," was all he offered.

"You are the one of the fairest maidens I've ever seen! Almost as fair as my Y/N. Don't you agree, my princess?" You nodded enthusiastically, but shivered as you saw Epel begin to shake with rage.

"Her petite frame! Her doe eyes! Why if our daughter is half as beautiful as her, I shall be a very proud man!"

"DAG NABBIT SHUT YER FLIPPIN MOUTH!" 

Erik froze, you stiffened, and Vil groaned in disappointment.

"Epel," he groaned. But the blue lightning was already flying.

"You're not a princess! You're a man! A crude man at that. You're not worthy of me, or my princess."

"COME CLOSER AN I'LL SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHAT I'M WORTHY OF!"

"Please gag him before he says something my princess shouldn't hear!" Erik cried, covering your ears, despite you having heard far worse from Epel in the past.

Once Epel was gagged, he turned to Silver. Who was, much to your dismay, asleep.

"Oh! This one must be a princess! She has a sleeping curse!"

"Maybe you should try to wake her?" You offered helpfully.

He looked at you, a tormented expression on his face.

"But I love you. And only true love's kiss can break the spell. Perhaps if I kiss you instead, our love will burst out and wake her! Minister, well begin now!"

"No! We can't begin! I, uh, I feel bad having a wedding while she's still asleep. And the dining hall isn't finished being decorated yet!" You cried. You'd been told by the ladies who dressed you "not to worry", that once you kissed Erik, you would be able to join his kingdom. His ghostly kingdom. No thanks.

You eyed Silver, hoping that the man who was typically the knight in shining armor would wake and save you. Nothing.

Erik sighed sweetly, pushing a stray strand of hair off your face.

"You're right. The wedding must be perfect. So where are my scones!" That last bit wasn't a question. It was an angry demand.

Crowley put down the mirror he'd been using to watch what the A team was doing.

"Well that was a disaster," he groaned.

"What a load of rubbish! He's literally looking for a princess from an old fashioned fairytale book! That's the only thing he'll let Y/N go for!" Ace shouted.

"It's kind of sweet, if you think about it," Deuce muttered.

"It's bullshit! No one's like that! It's an unrealistic expectation!" Ace snapped back.

"I know! I meant the part about Y/N!" Deuce snapped.

"Enough, cubs. It's obvious he has no intention of releasing Y/N. So we need a different plan," Leona said with a smirk, implying he already had a plan in mind.

"What were you thinking?" Crowley asked tiredly.

"The ghosts leave in the morning, no matter what. If they don't finish the marriage to Y/N, Y/N stays behind. So we just have to ensure the wedding can't happen."

Plan B

"Everyone understands their roles?" Leona asked.

Floyd, Ruggie, Jack, and Ortho nodded.

"Alright. Charge!" He shouted. The five slammed through the door, dead set on causing as much destruction as they could.

Leona began turning anything he could touch into sand; tables, decor, flowers, nothing was safe. 

Floyd smashed every food he could get his hands on, delighted giggles leaving his mouth at regular intervals.

Jack flipped tables, and fought off the guards who attempted to stop them.

Ortho blasted various parts of the hall, having way too much fun doing it.

Ruggie snuck through the crowd to where you and the "princesses" from Plan A were. But your chair wasn't there.

"It's a trap, isn't it," he asked Jamil.

"It wasn't supposed to be," he sighed tiredly.

Ruggie heard an inhuman screech, and felt his body go numb, unable to move.

"Damn," he muttered.

"How dare you? How dare you!!!!" Erik screamed, dragging you along by a rope lead. He must have forgone the chair, and decided to just numb you like the rest.

"You're ruining my special day! Our special day! How dare you!"

He zapped Jack, then Floyd, then Leona, then Ortho. All four verbally protested.

"Shut up! Look what you've done! We'll never finish in time!"

"Initializing death ray," Ortho began.

"No! Ortho! Sevens, please no death ray!" You screamed, quickly followed by everyone else protesting.

The boy pouted, but shut down the death ray anyway.

"I suppose we'll just have to have the wedding now," the ghost groom began.

"No!" You shouted. "I mean, I think my guests and I all agree we at least need a cake, right?"

Erik squished your cheeks together, hearts in his eyes.

"Anything for you, my princess!"

Everyone sighed in relief.

Crowley put down the mirror and looked at the remnants in his office.

"Any other bright ideas?"

Rook bowed deeply, "If he is searching for a fairytale, we must play along. Oui?"

Plan C

Rook lead the march towards the dining hall, his cape and rapier complimenting his outfit nicely. He looked over at his men. The entirety of Heartslaybul. There was no one else he would rather have serve as his knights. Even if they had a hard time getting into character.

"The cape is pulling at my neck," Deuce croaked.

"Then be better!" Ace snapped.

"I will behead both of you this instant,"Riddle hissed, coming off more as mom than knight to the fair Princess.

Cater meanwhile was trying to get a selfie in his knight outfit with Trey, while Trey wanted no part of it.

"C'mon, Trey! We look too good not to post!"

"I'm too focused on the possibility of Y/N dying to look good for a photo!"

They were an unusual group of knights. But still. Rook knew they would more than serve their purpose.

They arrived at the door, but this time, there was a ghost guarding it.

"Who goes there?"

"We're the princess' knights. If you take Y/N, we have to come with." Rook gave a well practiced flourish of a bow, which was mimicked by the men of Heartslaybul.

"Ah!" The guard said. "Of course, forgive us! We should have informed you immediately!" He opened the door, and the men walked through, uninhibited.

Meanwhile…

"Mmm my back hurts. I can't stay in one position for this long anymore," Lilia groaned.

"And I'm bored," Floyd pouted.

"I'm losing out on beauty sleep. My skin will not be forgiving."

"Big brother has been trying to call me home for an hour."

Lilia smiled sweetly at Erik. "Look, forget the cake. How bout you just give her the smoocharoo?"

"What?!?" You shouted. Was Lilia selling you out?

"He seems like a good guy. You'll be fine, Shrimpy."

"I literally won't be fine, that's the whole point!" You cried. But Erik seemed to be thinking. And that wasn't good.

"You'll die, but there's a chance you'll be at the Isle of Woe! Then you have to visit big brother and I!"

"Ortho no! Not you too!" 

"I mean, our guests are saying they don't need cake, my love," Erik whispered, his voice husky as he leaned in slightly.

"No!" You shouted.

"Smoocharoo. Smoocharoo." Lilia began the chant, but multiple voices quickly joined in.

The door burst open, interrupting the chant, and the kiss that was getting closer. You heaved a sigh of relief as you saw Rook and the Heartslaybul boys….all dressed like knights?

"Forgive our tardiness, your highness. Your beloved knights have finally arrived," Rook said loudly.

"Ah, yes. My knights. Good," you said, a fake grin filling your face.

"Your highness, the fact that you did not alert the princess' knights to your intentions, brings this whole arrangement into question," Riddle stepped up next the Rook, his eyes narrowed.

Erik's jaw dropped.

"Oh. You see I was so excited, I didn't…"

"You don't even have proof you can protect our Princess! Look at this room! It looks like a war happened here!" Cater gestured around as he joined the line.

"You're taking things out of context! I defended her, which is why she is still here!" Erik was beginning to get angry again.

Trey cleared his throat and stepped forward, "And what's this about no cake? Our princess deserves the finest of baked goods, which I am more than capable of providing. Do you have a kitchen nearby?"

"Yay! Trey approves of operation smoocharoo!" Ruggie shouted, leading to a couple chants of smoocharoo.

"Oh my sevens!" Ace shouted. "You all have zero dignity! No wonder you're frozen! You don't deserve to be moving with those attitudes!"

"What I meant was," Trey glared at Ace, attempting to keep more lightning at bay, "our Princess deserves the best, and I don't believe you've provided it."

They seemed to have finally gotten through to him. Until Deuce's sword belt just…fell off.

"You aren't real knights!" All five were frozen in one blast.

Rook giggled, "Ah well, we tried to save you. And the bitter defeat, and pure sorrow we will feel at your loss will fuel many a work of art!"

"Thanks Rook," you growled sarcastically.

To dig the dagger deeper into your heart, it was at that moment that the new cake arrived.

"Finally! I can be wed to my Princess!" He dragged your rope lead over to an area that had flowers arranged, and stood you in front of the minister. Funny enough, the minister was self aware and never asked for your consent.

"Then by the powers vested in me-"

"I object!" A voice cried out.

Plan D

You turned your head to see Azul, flanked by Jade and Sebek. Azul wore a crown, and was dressed in the very image of a fairytale prince. Sebek and Jade were in full armor.

"You have stolen my Princess!" Azul said authoritatively.

"Y/N's my princess!" Erik hissed, his impatience finally getting the best of him.

"I have a document right here, between the Princess and I, stating an intent to marry, and join our two kingdoms, for love of each other. You may compare the signature to that of the princess, but you'll find it's quite authentic."

Erik stared at the document in his hands, and suddenly his blue glow turned bright red, nearly blinding all of you.

"No! Y/N IS MY PRINCESS! A PIECE OF PAPER ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE THAT!" You'd only been scared of him before because his kiss meant death. Now you were just scared of him in general. 

"Your highness," One of his ghost knights spoke up. "A true Prince would at least look, and honor the document, lest he becomes the villain." 

Erik took a calming breath, his color going back to blue, and put on a tight smile.

"You're right. Okay, show me your contract."

Azul smiled, and handed him the golden document. He read it over, then looked at you with a heartbroken expression.

"You truly are in love with this Prince Azul? He is your fairytale Prince?" 

Azul smiled smugly at you, and you fought back an eye roll as you nodded sweetly.

"Then I suppose I have to let you go," and suddenly the numbness of your body ceased, and you were able to move. You inhaled heavily.

He looked up into the windows of the dining hall. The sun was starting to rise.

He looked at you sadly, and gently cupped your cheek.  

"I wish you every happiness."

And you couldn't help but believe him.

"Before I go again, my princess, er, your princess, deserves her kiss," Erik whispered. You held back a dry heave at Azul's mock bravado.

"Anything to ease your parting, your highness!" He stalked towards you, and you saw Jade snicker over his shoulder, while Sebek turned bright red.

"Princess?" Azul said with a smirk, though now that he was up close, you could see a tinge of pink over his cheeks.

"Ew, please don't," Ace muttered, but he was struck by blue lightning again.

Deciding to suck it up, you grabbed Azul by the collar, and pressed your lips to his. His eyes widened in shock, his face going bright red, but after a moment, he relaxed.  

"Get it, Azul!" Floyd shouted, and he immediately separated himself from you. 

"There, may you rest in comfort," Azul said, an arm around your shoulders, but his red cheeks showed no sign of fading.

"Thank you," Erik smiled softly at you, and all the ghosts faded one by one.

You and Azul stepped away from each other the second the last ghost vanished.

All the people stretched as they became unnumbed, groaning.

"Well that sucked,"Leona grumbled.

"I'll never get the image of Azul kissing Y/N out of my head," Ace moaned.

Epel gagged next to him, as he ripped off the ball gown he was wearing.

"Now what?" Vil groaned, massaging his neck.

The door slammed open.

Plan Party

"Ha! While you guys were busy, the headmage put us in charge of victory party planning!" Kalim announced, his crew following him slowly. One seemed confused, the other didn't want to be there.

"Absolute nightmare. I got the bad end today," Idia muttered as he hid behind the stacks of food Kalim had given him to carry.

Malleus looked around the venue in full confusion. Then he looked sad. 

"Was there a wedding, and I wasn't invited?"

"Don't worry, Tsunotarou, I wasn't really invited either," you said bitterly. This made him smile sweetly, until he saw your outfit, making him confused again.

"But you're the one wearing the wedding gown?"

"Don't worry about it," you muttered. You turned to Kalim. 

"What do you mean you were in charge of the victory party?"

"Well, Malleus and I weren't allowed to try and help, and Idia was busy, so after the headmage sent out operation fairytale prince, he told us to start preparing for the after party!"

You blinked a couple times, then yawned.

"Can we party tomorrow? I'm going to bed."

You ripped off your veil, threw it on the floor, then left the dining hall.

"Quick! Azul! Go after her!"

"Shut your mouth, Floyd!"

It was at that moment, Silver woke up. He looked around in confusion, then frowned at Lilia.

"Did we win, Father?"

"That we did my boy! That we did!"

[vectorisheree]

I've realised that I've never directly promoted my fanfic here so here's a doodle from today's chapter and a snippet under the cut ^^

Sun oh so elegantly rips a sheet of paper out and lays it on the desk in front of you, pushing it to your chest with his index and middle finger. He then proceeds to open up his chest compartment and pull out a couple of arts and crafts supplies, while he works to set things up, you can spot a plush of him, the one you bought him, sitting politely in one of his woven paper crates with it's arm almost detached from its body. Before you have time to comment on it, Sun’s already finished his work, clapping to gain your attention as he stands proudly over his colourful display.

“Oh, what to draw, what to draw!” Sun leans over the desk with his back arched as he props himself up on his elbows, one hand tapping at his cheek in false thought “Friend, I'm sure you're well aware of the masterpiece in front of you, no? Have a hand at replacing perfection.” He rests his head in his hands as he offers his suggestion. You assume Sun's growing more confident after being buttered up by all your, admittedly terrible, compliments.

“You want me to draw you?” You ask, causing Sun to scoff at your words, their rays twitching slightly.

“A mere suggestion, that's all. You're free to draw whatever you want.” Sun replies defensively, like he totally wasn't alluding to it or whatever. 

You vaguely wonder if Sun would prefer a cutesy simplified drawing of him or one that captures his ugly mug in all its horrific glory. You stretch your drawing muscles in preparation for an absolute masterpiece! You scrawl skilled lines over the paper in a shrimp backed position, each flick of the wrist carefully calculated for perfection. Sun, your distinct looking muse, stares in mild confusion as you work your magic. After a solid 15 minutes of work, your magnum opus is complete! A frankly demonic illustration of Sun lies in front of you in all its glitter glue covered glory. 

Sun gracefully plucks the undignified portrait of him from your hands, and turns it around to observe it, stretching and standing to his full height, with an accepting hum before crumpling it up and shoving it in his chest compartment, in the same crate that his plush was in, “Management confiscated my shredder.” You stare at him with a ‘why the fuck did you have a shredder’ expression, “All artworks created in the daycare are property of Fazbear entertainment.” Sun recites some clearly well worn company policy “Now, we wouldn't want our little stars to walk home with company property, would we?” You shrug, not really getting it but not wanting to fight Sun on a rule he was probably programmed with.

Humming in satisfaction, Sun rips out another sheet for you before smoothing moving into a new, more extravagant, pose. He stands at an angle to you, leaning back as he rests an elbow on the desk in front of you and dramatically raises his other hand to cover his face in mock anguish. He's really getting into it, you are too. You carve your very essence into your work, lines flow together elegantly like a visual melody. When your grand performance is complete, Sun harvests your will and makes it one with his; crumpling your drawing into a little ball and putting it in his chest compartment. The dance you share of you drawing Sun and him crumpling your work up continues for hours, it's the most fun you've had with Sun, which is to say, the only time you've had fun with Sun.

[rlqfpdl]

All I want is you

Apollo!Fem!reader x Jason Grace

Summary: You can’t help but admire Jason. Not knowing he’s doing the same.

Contains: fluff. Characters might seem a bit ooc.

A/N: I noticed the lack of Jason fics so hope you all enjoy this one. I had such fun writing it. Feedback is always welcomed and reqs are open <3

Word count: 1.1k

His skin seemed to glow perfectly, his eyes sparkled with the sun. His perfect silky blonde hair was a bit messy, like he had just woken up. Gods, it was flawless, like gold. His slightly tilted glasses made him look cuter than when he didn't have them on. If you didn't know any better, you would say you're enamored, captivated, charmed, enchan…

“Stop staring, you're drooling,” Will said, pointing towards the corner of his lip and casually continuing to eat his breakfast. You brought your finger towards your lip to confirm. How embarrassing, you thought. “I wasn't staring. I don't know what I could ever be staring at,'' you defended, avoiding Will's gaze. Suddenly, your plate was really interesting as you fiddled around with some pancakes. Smooth, gaslight your brother into thinking he's the crazy one. 

“Sure lover girl, let's pretend you weren't ogling at Mr. Sparky over there,” Will just knew how to push your buttons. Both of you being top healers meant you knew each other better than the rest of your siblings. Sadly, that also meant he knew your weaknesses all too well like a certain blonde he kept talking about.

 “He's way out of my league” you rebutted. You didn't give yourself enough credit. Most would assume you were a daughter of Aphrodite if it weren't for the distinct freckles and soft glow that every Apollo kid seems to have. 

“Yeah well, he likes you back. you guys just need to be a little less shy” he stated as if it were a fact. But it wasn't, well, at least not for you. Jason was just too handsome. Sure, the Aphrodite boys were too, and so were some of the Hermes boys, but Jason was just different in your eyes. It wasn't only about looks; it was his caring personality and how nice he could be. Not that it was a surprise, but considering he is the son of Jupiter you would have thought he would be a little more conceited. 

”You know, you keep saying that, but I don't see it. Plus I can't think of crushes right now; we have to prepare the infirmary.” both you and Will know that deep down, you wanted to believe that Jason liked you back but were always ‘too busy’ to talk about your feelings. 

Especially on capture the flag days, You weren't one to participate; fighting isn't your thing. You were half decent with a bow but just awful at playing, landing you with the amazing job of nursing everyone back to health. You would think people knew better than to slash each other to almost death, knowing that their desert privilege was on the line. But that never seemed to stop anyone from creating more work for the Apollo cabin. 

You sighed as you prepared some of the beds in the infirmary, having gauzes and ambrosia ready at your disposal. Singing softly as you worked, maybe you weren't blessed with amazing archery skills or astonishing arts abilities, but you had other skills in your favor. Like your voice and talent with the lyre. Most of the camp would agree that you were the best singer from the Apollo cabin, often leading the sing-alongs at the campfires or just singing sweet children's songs to the little ones at camp. 

Caught up in your singing and folding of sheets, you didn't hear the conch being blown or the screaming campers celebrating their victory or announcing their complaints over losing. So, to say you almost had a heart attack when you heard a soft voice call your name was truly an understatement. 

“Gods Austin you scared me,” you said, looking at your brother as he smiled softly, “Sorry you just have a patient ready for you, doc,” he said, smirking slightly as he was up to something. “I'll attend some; tell Will to take care of the rest” You turned around, not looking at your now creepily smiling brother. You started putting a little tray on one of the beds . Austin continued talking, “Oh but there is this camper who has specially requested for you,” he said as he dragged said camper towards you. “Okay well bring them up; i don't have time to attend everybody,” your voice started to faint as you looked up towards this oh so special camper that requested you. 

“I can come back at another time if you're too busy,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with rosy cheeks, he was embarrassed. But now you sported matching red cheeks as you looked at him intensely in awe of his presence. “No, you fine Jason please sit” you gestured towards the bed. “I got nicked with a sword; it's not that bad” he explained, tilting his head, his voice was ringing in your ears like a charm.

“Can i touch your face” you mumbled as you began to study the small gash he had from afar. “Sure,” Jason stuttered a bit, his face getting a little bit redder. You softly touched his jaw, further inspecting his injury. “Well, it's not deep enough for ambrosia or nectar, but it's still kind of deep,” you stated grabbing a cotton ball with a pair of tweezers “I’m just going to clean it up and heal it ,” you said, your voice shaking a bit. Jason could only muster a hum as you placed a tiny amount of alcohol into his wound. He winced at the sting, but it didn't seem to bother him that much, especially with how gently you touched his face. 

Both of you fell into an uncomfortable silence, not knowing what to say, faces a bit too close to each other, entering in panic mode. Yet Jason built up enough courage as he whispered a faint “Your voice is so beautiful.” You couldn't help but look into his blue eyes, eternally getting lost in those precious sky-blue irises. Your faces got closer slowly, instinctively, as if it was the only way to respond. Trying to wrap your head around the boy's words truly left you speechless. But life decided to ruin this perfect moment as you heard someone speak. 

“I need some help with some Ares kids,” Will said standing there, clearly seeing he had interrupted something. “Right,” you responded brushing off nonexistent dust from your camp shirt and looking back at Jason. “Your wound should feel better now, let me know if it doesn't,” you said, all giddy at the thought of him coming back. He just nodded shyly, trying to say anything as you walked closer to Will but ultimately stayed silent. 

“Your voice is so beautiful, marry me Y/N” mocked Will as both of you walked towards the other side of the infirmary, punching his stomach, “Shut up” you whispered. Gods, Jason Grace might just be the death of you. 

[ajortga]

hey guys, lowkey kind of bored and i've been reading a lot of fics, you know when you're on that grind and go through all your likes and read the most smuttiest or angiest or fluffiest stories, yeah.

okay so, if you're struggling for what or who to read from for jenna ortega and her character's fics, here are some of my most recommended users:

first up, the first ever series i've ever read that i've feel in love and obsessed over with is @rollingsins all her series, omg. i started reading so many fics after that and literally one of the most talented in my head. IF YOU NEVER READ ALL HERS OR THREES A CROWD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? literally all hers has changed my days around and has to be one of the best gf! tara series to have ever exist.

-@bingwriterxo, also one of the first writers to ever be encountered with, omg, her imagines on wattpad, i read them like every other day and her stories are so good for crying, binging, and such good angst and smut. i think i read like all her imagines in one day. HIGHLY recommend her shakespeare exhibit tara series.

-@wol-fica, OKAY, if i were to tell the truth, i read their stories almost every 2 days, they have such good drabbles for each jenna ortega story, and i personally love their fics because they are so fluffy or smutty. please check them out, they have me kicking my feet

-@melrodrigo, FIRST OF all LOVE TARDY SERIES, second of all, they have the same name as me, like crying, i have a name twin. THEIR DRABBLES ARE SO SO CUTE.

-@persevereforahappyending, absolutely so talented, i read their tara series he hung up and this isn't your fault so much, please go check them out, i love their work so so much

-@void-wolfie, ONE OF THE BEST ANGST JENNA ORTEGA STORIES HANDS DOWN. i honestly think that she captures emotions so so well when shes writing, like i can physically feel my chest go down during her stories.

-@crazyoffher, they have amazing works, captures emotions so well, i love the watchtower series.

-@tonyspank, by far amazing writer and works, i love their series, read their series pls, literally such good smut.

-@jazzyoranges, LOVE her writing, writing skills are immaculate, amazing work and is so good for if you're looking for angsty or smutty stories, cried when reading one of them and has such good writing skills, has the ability to make u feel goosebumps.

-@marvelfilth, if you're in the mood for some good smut, literally her works are perfect

-@writing-rat, so many writings to choose from and posts almost so frequently, i'm so grateful for fics like his

-@sorrowedpickle, HER WORKS ARE A WORK OF ART. makes your stomach do flips with her smut and writings, a lot of her posts are nestled safely in my like section.

-@the-oblivious-writer, LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS OF SERIES FOR JENNA, i highly recommend let the light in, i've read that so many times, love love love, i've been head over heels for that series.

@toournextadventure, AHH, i love his movie night series, makes me feel like im floating, check out his one shots too!

--

im honestly missing so many people, but these are such talented writers, please don't hesitate to recommend more in my inbox, but PLEASE check these amazing authors out, their works are amazing.

--

[mazeinthemiroh]

i’m desperately trying to improve my art skills so while i’m in that mindset i was wondering if i could request a skz reaction to their s/o accidentally leaving their sketchbook open and it’s full of drawings of them ;-; i would draw the lovely members all day if i could </3 thank you!

stray kids coming across their s/o's drawings of them

genre: fluff

warnings: not proofread

please like and reblog if you enjoy :]

bangchan

is really flattered that you would use his face as inspiration for most of your drawings. he smiles shy and giggles as he flicks through the pages of his face. he would say things like "do i really look like that?" and "i'm sure you've made me more handsome than i actually am." you've helped him gain a new appreciation for his looks.

minho

minho is nosy sometimes, so taking a peak at your open sketchbook would not be unlikely. and what he finds is not what he is expecting. he didn't realise just how good at drawing you are. you captured the angles of his features very well. but that doesn't mean to say that he won't totally tease you for using him as your muse!

changbin

he thinks "of all the people you could've drawn, why him?" in his head, drawings of people tend to be delicate and elegant. but here, you've captured his features perfectly, focusing on his body structure and muscles that you admire so much. a grins spreads across his face as he realises that he is your muse and also know his body extremely well

hyunjin

as an artist himself, he would be deeply touched. he knows it must've taken you a long time to perfect your art, and the way he you have drawn him is so beautiful to him. he can't help but smile at your amazing skills, and how they mirror his own. who knew you guys would share the same talent?

jisung

he gasps loudly as his eyes flicker over the pages and pages of beautiful sketches of him. he is enthralled by your art and will continue to shower you with an overwhelming amount of praise from here on out. he just thinks you're so talented. and this is coming from an ace! that definitely means something.

felix

his eyes turn wide with curiosity as he can't help but look at your drawings of him. he feels warm inside, and this warmth seems to go to his cheeks too. all the little details, the shape of his eyes, the perfectly placed freckles. you captured his beauty effortlessly, and he can't help but feel honoured that he gave you some inspiration.

seungmin

"you can't stop thinking about me that you have to draw me when i'm not with you?" of course he will tease you about it, but only a little bit. after having a little fun, be will rebuff his playful statements by complimenting your hardwork. he can tell you've been improving, and he can't help but be amazed by your talent.

jeongin

he can tell you really knew his features so well. how you studied them in your drawings fascinated him. especially the close-up of his eye - the shape and the shades were a perfect representation of reality. he would tell you how impressed he was, pretending not to be a little shy that most of your works were pictures of him.

[alphajasperdimitri]

Ngl the Netflix Avatar: The Last Airbender show was kind of a mixed bag of great and iffy kinda like a delicious food but it’s missing something almost perfect, but still I loved the show so far.

What i didnt like:

*The gaang/ trio doing adventures alone by themselves

*The blended/ mixed episodes

*Pacing

*King Bumi’s new personality, his issues, and how his true identity was revealed very early.

*Sokka and Suki’s fast chemistry, (well I kinda like their love story a little, it was sweet, but i think their rushing it).

*Also Sokka kissing both Suki and Yue kinda feels like hes cheating on Suki, they already had a good time and now Yue?

*The Secret tunnel scene which only happened on book 2, ofc I was happy the first minute they showed it but this was Aang and Katara’s moment, they changed that into love between families or siblings but it’s about love between 2 couples Oma and Shu, wish they just did that on season 2.

*Aang didn’t talk to Hei bai or explain about the forest will grow back in time and just buried the seed.

*Kyoshi teaching Aang a lesson by traumatizing him with her merciless past, (thats not how you teach an innocent child).

*Zuko didn’t saved Zhao at the final episode, (in the original he saved him, because he still has that kindness and compassion in him just deeply hidden)

*Aang didn’t really learn how to waterbend, there was this scene were Aang and Katara were playing with water splashing each other I thought after that scene it was skipped to Aang finally progressing on his practice but he learned nothing at all, (well atleast he learned how to contact the spirit world with his past lives and loved ones). Probably at season 2 he masters it already but is skipped.

*About Katara’s necklace, Pakku didnt talk about that and the past.

*Gordon Cormier/Aang and Kiawentiio’s/ Katara’s acting skills.

What I really liked:

*Cgi, visual effects, the animals 10/10

*Martial arts

*Costumes

*New lessons

*Some of the backstories including the introduction.

*How they interpreted Koh the face stealer.

*Aang’s conversation with Zuko after getting captured by Zhao.

*Zuko’s backstory and the 41st division.

*June and Iroh

*Why Ozai can be evil, “yall remember Evil is made not born” he probably had a tough time when he was little, he just doesnt know what he’s doing is not discipline its abuse. Just like what Iroh said it’s in the fire nation’s bloodline on sometimes being harsh and world dominating.

*Azula’s obsession with perfection and her dad’s approval, I liked how hardworking she was until she reached her classic blue flame, she had to go through alot of pain too.

* Dallas Liu’s acting skills as Zuko is amazing, I could literally feel his emotional state, anger and rage.

*Yue’s spiritual abilities.

*Aang meeting Gyatso at the Spirit world broke me.

*Iroh’s backstory along with Zuko broke me.

Let’s just say atleast it’s better than that movie that never existed.

7/10 Imma say its perfectly balanced.

Also forgive me if my english is bad.

[obey-moi]

I wanna imagine that the cards are a real thing in-universe. Like, the brothers, royals, Solomon and Thirteen all get put into a trading card game just because they’re all very popular individuals with their own fanbases Everyone’s card art is a little different from their actuall looks bc the actual people aren’t involved in the art production, so everone gets washboard abs and clear skin. It’d also be considered defamation of any of them are portrayed with a single blemish lol.

Of course Asmo collects ONLY his own cards and MC’s cards, even if some of them look off. “This one’s hair is too brunette but I love the SHINE they put in my lipgloss!” Or something silly like that. They go into a photo album binder where he gets other pieces of fanart.

Leviathan collects SO many card and knows the rules and decimates everyone at the games, but he absolutely refuses to collect his own cards. “Can you imagine if I played my own card as if I were actually cool? Like I had those powers, or l-looked as dashing a-as they portray me?? None of my cards would actually be good?? I’m JuSt An OtAkU??” Never plays the holographics of MC. Those get framed but never displayed. (MC finds them and they do the same to him since they both avoid their own cards. In fact they do a daily dropoff where if there’s an envelope under their door they can usually expect it to be the others’ cards.) He’s also a master of making different decks, like he has a deck for every sin, every person, etc. The Royals+Angels deck and the Envy deck are his favourite ones.

Mammon thrives on the Devildom TCG market. Rare cards go for a ton of Grimm! And also you wanna know why he keeps trying to sell pics of Lucifer, right? He knows one of the official card artists. “This was the outfit this card was based on, yeah? Here’s the followup of him rolling his sleeves and loosening his tie! And I bet you’re gonna love THIS one! Nobody can ever seem to get his angry smile just right until they see it in person, but this picture comes pretty close. Doesn’t it give you shivers? I can start at 1500 grimm. Also, could you tell whoever is making THESE cards to stop whitewashing the GREAT Mammon? Plzkthx :)”

Satan’s not much for card games unless a friend challenges him to a different, more classic game, like rummy or liar. But he does keep the trading cards he likes the most. Art is art, what can he say? They’re also perfect bookmarks. His fave is probably one of MC that captures them perfectly in his vision.

Lucifer thinks the whole TCG is just silly and doesn’t really participate in any of it........... But Priddy Boy’s gotta be ✨Perfect In Everything✨. The man has canonically been stated to be good a video games for the simple need to be good at everything, you think he wouldn’t study strategy and play like it’s chess or smth? That and in his Dad Wallet where he keeps pictures of his brothers (and MC), he keeps his favourite cards of them behind each respectful photo.

Beel doesn’t really collect or know how to play, but Beel has autographed many a card after fangol games, so he can at least understand it’s a collectible item. He tried learning from Leviathan how to play this one time, and it made sense to him for the most part. Card has Life Points, Attack Points, and Special Skills. Beat up opponents' cards and win. Not too different from most other card games. But there are complicated rules to it that he forgets or mixes up. He’d much rather use the cards like dolls and make them “talk” to each other.

Belphie also doesn’t play or collect, but he does enjoy getting his hands on the holographic cards. One day Levi was sent to look for Belphie to tell him it was dinner time. He found the youngest in the attic cutting up the cards into shapes and gluing them back-to-back, hanging them up like a mobile. Levi fainted backward down the stairs and refused to look at Belphie for two months straight.

Solomon really likes these cards! Like Satan he uses them as bookmarks, but specific Sin Colours and People get paired with certain books. Green Satan cards are used on cursed tomes or books about curses, blue Satan cards are used in art history books. Pink Asmo cards are left in Seduction Spell books, while yellow Asmo cards are for books about venoms from creatures. Etc. Makes categorization much easier!

Barbatos doesn’t collect, but he does know how to play. He referees for the Young Lord sometimes whenever Diavolo gets a chance to have fun.

Y’all know ya homeboy DIAVOLO is one of the biggest collectors! He and Levi are both DAUNTING on the “battlefield”, though Dia doesn’t take things so seriously like Levi does sometimes. He’s even commissioned actual paintings of himself and everyone so that those portraits can be made into cards. They’re the rarest ones, there only being one of each person out in the world. As much as Dia would have loved to keep those cards, he likes to watch the chaos of others scrambling desperately try to obtain an Ultra Rare Royal Painted Holographic. Besides, he still has the original paintings! (Also he likes to collect the DevilWendy’s kids meal toy versions of those “cards”, which are actually those plastic “gold” plated cards inside of “”””pokéballs””””. Adorable!)

Some Thirteen cards have special abilities based on real traps of hers. Some of Thirteen’s traps are based on some of the cards. She likes to tape some cards up like stickers to some of said traps as decorations. Or as part of the trap. She once tried to entice Solomon with a card, but Levi fell for it instead and nearly got impaled in a tiger trap she called “Super Duper Rare Double Dare #106”.

Mephistopheles says he doesn’t care about such childish playthings. But once the Diavolo released those Ultra Rare Royal Painted Holographic, and ‘Phisto got highest bidder on the Diavolo card, SUDDENLY he’s become Maximillion Pegasus and his signature deck is the Diavolo deck.

Luke isn’t really one to play, but he does like the art of some of them! He’ll put some in a scrapbook! It’s also another bookmark technique, where certain people’s cards get bookmarked on their favourite recipes. He got the idea from Solomon’s method of bookmarking.

Simeon also doesn’t play but mainly collects. Got a little hooked on it before Raphael moved in and the room was being used for Levi’s spare collection stuff. He was even given many of the Common ones for free (what Simeon did with common cards, Levi didn’t nearly care as much, and trusted him more with cards than he could trust Belphie with holo’s...). He’s collected all the Seven Lords themed ones. It’s a nice, low-key hobby, like stamp collecting. He donates the ones he doesn’t need to MC or Levi.

Raphael neither plays, collects, or knows anything about them really. But he does still have an annoying familiarity with them, thanks to Michael wanting him to buy several packs, nay, BOXES of packs. Michael needs to be the number one Lucifer Card collector. Bro misses his bro... ;(

[lordofthetwistedflies]

Hey there! I was wondering if you could do something with an artist reader that is really hard on herself about her art? Like stressin over due dates bc nothing meets her expectations? Sorry if thats really specific lol. You can make it more broad if thats better, you just capture the feeling of characters the best :)

Maybe with Alphonse, Bakugou, and whoever else you want in whatever form you like best (fic, hc, etc.)

Thanks! Your awesome!

Gonna be honest, I completely forgot I put BNHA on my list and Bakugo isn't a character I consider myself skilled with, but YOU REQUESTED IT AND THEREFORE I SHALL PROVIDE

Also filled in that last spot with Satoru Gojo because WHY TF NOT ITS 2 AM I DO WHAT I WANT

"A Masterpiece in the Eyes of the Beholder"

Alphonse

He idly tells you that he thinks your shit is fire, and is deeply confused when you burst into tears over it.

He pets your hair, tells you that it's okay, asks you what's wrong.

You tell him, half coherent through your tears and cross-eyed from staring at your work too long, that it just doesn't look right, that something about it is off and if you just knew what it was you could fix it!!

He tries a few suggestions, but they aren't it.

He sights, brushes your hair from your face, and suggests you take a step back.

"How'sabout we take a little break... then you can get back to work with fresh peepers, mkay?"

Katsuki Bakugo

You're still working on that?

It looks fine, what's the hold up?

Oh, somethings wrong?

Bullshit. This is just an excuse to be a total nerd about something inconsequential.

You groan, telling him that your deadline is coming up and there's still something off about it...

And he does not care.

He's sick of you locking yourself away over some stupid bullshit. What, your project matters more to you than him? Fuckin' artsy nerd...

He picks you up and basically drags you away from your work station, yelling the whole time. It's a very loving screaming match.

"YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR-FUCKING-EVER, JUST GIVE IT A SEC- GODDAMN."

Satoru Gojo

He doesn't get your type-a perfectionist attitude about it. You'll just ruin it if you keep trying to go back and perfect everything.

You have to remind him that not everyone is the best at everything they do on the first try. He snickers and ruffles your hair.

You ask him to take a look at it, and he does, giving you the most beautiful look at his eyes.

You get lost in them temporarily, completely missing the actual advice he gives you.

You ask him to repeat himself. He does not.

"Shoulda kept your ears open~... Sorry~"

[chubs-deuce]

Hi!! Love your artwork and your Charlastor AU with Dawn!!

I was wondering if you think Alastor would make any dawn-themed dad jokes and puns in your AU, and if he does, what would Dawn and Charlie think of them? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head right now, but I know ‘a brand new dawn’ is a phrase he could maybe use!

Again, love your art!!! If you don’t mind answering questions about it, do you have any advice for artists who want to improve their drawing or any practices that have helped you develop your skills? And are there any particular artists that really inspire you?

You’re one of my favorite artists and I don’t know how to explain it but your drawings have so much life in them!! 🌟

sdlksdflkj thank you so much omg!!!

I'm so glad you're enjoying them ;W;

And he would be insufferable with them lmfaoo, especially because I'm sure Charlie would hop in on a few of them and add to the pile as well xD

One more I can think of rn is "Oh, I was wondering where the sun went!" whenever Dawn enters a room, because the implied punchline is "but then it Dawned on me" or something? XD idk I'm not good with puns sadly

Now regarding the art advice!! This one got HELLA long so I'll hide it under a cut for everyone's comfort lmao

I know it sounds shallow and like worthless advice, but a huge huuuuge part of getting better at art is to just... make art! Practice makes perfect - it develops your motor skills, gives you somewhat of a muscle memory for certain basic shapes that are a necessity to have a good feel of for good foundation sketching.

Practice also develops your eye for compositing and for how color theory actually applies in practice, it basically helps you develop a more consistent grasp on art as a whole :D

There are some things I've learned over time that definitely helped speed things up though xD

here's some rough sketches I did just to demonstrate what my rougher drawings can look like - also a little diagram (on the right side of the image) of things I keep in mind for the average proportions of a human body!

I tend to sketch very loosely and try to capture the overall vibe and silhouette/rough shapes first before I even think about adding details - there's a certain flow, squish and stretch to everything that's just much easier for me to get a good feel for when I use quick, loose brush strokes and as few lines as possible to convey a concept.

Repeatedly sketching humanoid characters of various shapes, builds and sizes for years genuinely helped enormously in getting not only faster but also more consistent with it!

I'm fairly well practiced with hands and expressions especially at this point since I like to focus on those in my art often, so those come fairly easily to me as well now!

Something I learned along the way about keeping a certain liveliness to my artworks is that sometimes you have to forego anatomical correctness a bit if you want to fully express specific emotions - if you try too hard to keep everything perfectly proportional and realistic, it can make the outcome look stiffer than you might've aimed for - this is something I actually struggle with in my cleaner artworks :'D The ones I do proper lineart for, since a lot of the flow of the original sketch gets lost in the process haha

As for artists/artstyles that inspire me...

There's @/southpauz for example!

Her artstyle is unbelievably expressive and her eye for compositing and her use of shapes is SUBLIME - it inspired me to let loose more with my expressions, exaggerate features a bit more and to push the way I try to vary facial features :D

Then, back when I had that massive Rise of the TMNT phase, the artstyle of it has actually greatly influenced how I draw today!

It manages to be detailed and highly recognizable despite its deceivingly simple style - it exaggerates shapes and uses it to communicate personalities, emotions and action super effectively and taught me a lot about utilizing those more efficiently myself :D

And last but not least Ishida Sui - the mangaka behind Tokyo Ghoul (which used to be a highschool obsession of mine)

His striking use of colors, textures in abstract, yet symbolically heavy ways and his courage to be rough and expressive rather than looking polished, yet also having such a solid understanding of realism blew me the fuck away as a teen and still does now!!!

His art may have less of an influence on my style today than it used to back then, but I think in my more exagerrated, more horror-esque drawings you can kind of see it still :'D Either way I greatly admire him as both a writer and artist.

-----

I'm genuinely so so flattered that you enjoy what I do enough to give me such high praise, thank you so much for writing me such a wonderful ask <3 I'm glad I got to gush about some of my favorite artists/artstyles for a bit haha

If you have any more specific (digital) art related questions don't hesitate to reach out!! I love giving pointers about a subject I'm so passionate about, we don't gatekeep helpful information in this house!!! <3<3<3

[thisismeracing]

babe can i pls get a headcannon of Mick dating a Latina💌❣️

Here you go, honey! I hope you like it <3 *mwah*

headcanon requests are closed

MICK DATING A LATINA | MS47

Warnings: mentions of food; tooth-rotting fluff; mentions of family members; not proofread.

A/n: Just a quick reminder that there are many shades, experiences, and backgrounds when it comes to latinos and their culture, what I am writing does not resume everything, but rather brings a piece of it to the table. <3

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

I just know this man would have the time of his life whenever you guys decide to travel to visit your family/friends/home.

We saw how Mick likes spicy/Mexican food, so he would totally try every available dish with your family and they would be like "Isn't it too spicy for you, boy?" to which Mick would grin, puffing his red face, and shake his head, "it's too good, I can take it! Just- just need a bit of water." You would find it funny, and tell him you wouldn't take care of him if he ends up sick, of course, this is a lie because you're the first person beside him when his body decides it's time to slow down for a bit.

South America is really diverse, you can find just about everything there, and Mick will love to explore all the countries with you. You'll hike in Machu Pichu, enjoy the winter in Argentina and Uruguay, visit all the beaches, and art expos in Brazil, go around Colombia, and so on. Mick will register everything with his camera, and by the end of the month, he'll put everything together in an album and gift you. You'll tear up a bit because you look so good through his lenses, and he seems to have captured most of the special moments.

Your family will love to see it.

This man will try to learn Spanish/Portuguese before meeting your family. He'll casually throw a word here and there and then finally ask you if you can help him, but it's just training with him because he strikes me as someone who'll be quick to sign up for online classes just to get everything right.

His Spanish/Portuguese has so much accent, and it's just so cute how he'll still want to order and talk to people using their native language. You'll find it endearing.

It won't be hard for him to get used to all the traditions and cultural things. Mick will just love how people are warm and friendly with him, and how he doesn't have to worry about doing things wrong and getting away with it, because people are not afraid of being honest/sincere/forward about things. It's a nice atmosphere to be in.

I can totally see him letting a word or two slip in your idiom during an interview and fans go crazy because you're together for less than a year, and this man is already perfecting his language skills to impress you and your family/friends.

He's just enchanted with your culture and even more in love with you after discovering all the layers and history behind who you are.

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: I hope you guys liked it! Let me know your thoughts, it means a lot to me <3 *mwah*

taligst: @sachaa-ff @kenanlotus0 @dalsuwaha @mellowpizzapuppy @crimeshowjunkie @mickslover @iloveyou3000morgan @mishaandthebrits @formulakay3 @fdl305 @carojasmin2204 @saintslewis @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @f1kota @babyiscrying @smiithys @shhhchriss @lunnnix @leclercsluv @balekane_mohafe @uuuseeerrr12 @karmabyfernando

[flowerandblood]

The Cherry Orchard (Oneshot)

[ students • modern!Aemond x fem!oc]

[warnings: just pure fluff my guys, safe space]

[description: She and Aemond are graphic design students, taking part in a competition for the best poster for a big festival in their city. When Aemond wins it, she begins to pay more attention to him, wanting to get to know him and befriend him. He remains completely indifferent, until he finds out that she can help him with a very important matter. Pure fluff.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other works: Masterlist

_____

A competition was announced at the graphics department of the Academy of Fine Art. The task was to create a poster for the symphony orchestra festival in their city. The festival itself was called Musical Architecture and received a large amount of funding, so the first three places were to receive a cash prize. The winning design was to be hung around the city and represent the entire festival. Bell decided that it was the perfect time to show off her skills.

She created a poster design in which a simple, minimalist house was composed of only musical notes. She added typography in the background and was pleased that it was a really cool, fresh idea. The whole thing looked simple and struck with a strong, legible sign, which was immediately associated with the name of the festival. She took the printout of her poster to her professor in whose design studio she was studying, and waited.

A council composed of professors of graphics and representatives of the festival gathered to choose the best works. After a few days the results were posted, which were available to everyone along with the classification. Bell, along with other classmates, ran up curiously to see who had won. She looked at the list and sighed heavily.

First Prize: Aemond Targaryen Second Prize: Emmet Colren Third Prize: Anna Bernard 1st Honorable Mention: Bell Stark Second Honorable Mention: Emma Arryn

"For fuck's sake!" She groaned, rubbing her face in fury.

She thought that fourth place was the worst place that could be because you are so close to the podium and you can only look at it. She would have taken this loss better if the overall winner, Aemond, hadn't been a year below her and the others on the list.

Aemond immediately caught her attention. Although she saw him only during woodcut classes, because the workshops were common for all years, she practically did not exchange a word with him. He only had three friends to hang out with, but otherwise he didn't talk to anyone.

She was embarrassed to pay attention to him because she thought that he was handsome. Unlike her other colleagues who favored a light, casual style of clothing, Aemond was always smartly dressed, almost as if he were a student of law rather than an arts.

Bell often looked over his shoulder, watching him laboriously cut out his stencils. All his works more or less referred to the works of the old masters. He created them with such finesse and processed them in such a way that he added his own, original, ironic commentary to them. His prints were always perfect and clean, unlike hers.

Her work was wild and chaotic, and while she also loved Renaissance and Baroque art, she didn't have the flair for capturing detail that he did. She was too expressive, her gestures were more emotional and ill-considered, which in the end added lightness to the whole work.

She liked to listen to him from the side. When he was talking to one of his friends, Isabel, he told various interesting anecdotes about religion, culture, art history. Bell felt like he knew everything, and thought that he must have read a lot.

She mentally agreed with everything that he said and could barely stop herself from approaching him and asking him about the various things that he was talking about.

She didn't dare.

Looking at him, she thought that she could make him happy. That if he wanted to, he would find in her a friend, listener and companion of his scientific quest. Embarrassed and ashamed at the thought, she gave up trying to get his attention.

The professors of the design studio decided that from this year, the semester reviews of all works from all years will be held jointly, and not, as before, in separate studios. Bell was going to see Aemond's work for the first time as his design that won the entire competition.

When he hung up his works and stood next to them, while the professor began to talk about what his student did all year and how many competitions he won, she thought that she would burn with shame. She felt that he deserved to win this and all the other competitions.

On his poster, their town hall building was partly depicted as a violin. He invented the whole form, so that it looked perfect and at first you didn't notice the difference between the building in reality, and what his poster depicted. Everything was simplified and enhanced with a strong, decisive red color, with the addition of white and black. The poster was fresh and brilliant.

His other works, performed as tasks assigned by his professor also impressed her. He referred in them to his roots, the folklore of the region he came from, using the technique of cut-outs, woodcuts and simple gesture illustrations to achieve the effect he needed. Bell thought that he was an outstanding student and was embarrassed to have her work shown.

During midterm break, Bell thought about a topic for her thesis, which she was due to start the following year. For years she has been doing genealogical research of her family, sending letters to the State Archives and parishes, looking for birth, marriage and death records of her ancestors.

She already had a whole catalog of these documents, and she also drew her great family tree. She thought that she would like to create a book, illustrated by herself, dedicated to her great-great-grandmother, Rosalia.

One day, sitting in a woodcut class, cutting out her stencil, she was talking to Isabel, whom she had liked since she met her for the first time. Aemond listened to their exchange without speaking, bent over his work.

Isabel finally asked Bell how her thesis preparation was going and why she had chosen her great-great-grandmother. Bell had told her about it eagerly.

“In the parish records of my great-grandfather, son of Rosalia, Joseph was listed as his father, but I was surprised that my great-great-grand mother's maiden name is the same as her husband's. So I started digging through the archives and found out that Rosalia had died unmarried, and her husband's name was made up. It turned out that she gave birth to six children in her lifetime as an unwed mother." She said excitedly as she made herself a cup of tea in the shared, electric kettle. Isabel looked at her in surprise.

"So who was their father?" She asked, surprised. Bell shrugged.

"I have no idea. My grandmother told me that she heard as a child that they were probably the children of some rich aristocrat, that Rosalia worked for. I have not been able to confirm this theory." She said as she poured her tea with hot water that had just boiled. She heard Aemond shift in his seat and clear his throat softly.

It wasn't until she glanced at him over her shoulder that she saw him staring at her. He stroked his chin as if debating whether to say something.

“My great-grandmother was locked up in a psychiatric hospital by her first husband and my great-grandfather during World War II, because he wanted to marry another woman. I later learned that experiments were carried out on patients in this hospital, and she disappeared after 1944. Her hospital was bombed, but I don't know if she was still there at the time." He said low, indifferent, calm. Bell stared at him in total shock at this sudden words, and Isabel was also impressed by the story.

"This is terrible!" She said, terrified. Bell thought hard.

"Have you tried writing to the National Archives in this area? You can even call them and ask if they have documents from this hospital. They will provide information to the family free of charge, some scans are also sent by e-mail for a small fee. If you want I can help you find out more." She said softly. He pursed his lips as he stared at his work, deep in thought.

"Yes, I would be very grateful." He spoke softly.

She felt a surge of great joy at his words and the fact that she might have a chance to get to know him better.

They agreed that Aemond would bring his laptop the next day and they try to work something out together. They managed to find several articles from those years and a historian who dealt with the case of this hospital. Bell called him, but put it on speakerphone, so Aemond could hear what he was saying.

“When the area was about to be liberated, the patients were forcibly transferred to a train with cattle cars and taken to the interior of the country. The train never reached its final destination – which was another hospital. When the hospital you are talking about was bombed, it was already a field hospital. Whatever happened to your friend's great-grandmother, we probably won't know, all the documents have been destroyed. Sorry, unfortunately I don't know anything else." The man said, genuinely concerned that he couldn't give them more specific information. Bell pursed her lips at his words.

“Thank you very much. Have a nice day." She said and hung up.

Aemond stared at his hands in silence, shocked. For a moment she didn't know what to say and looked away.

"I'm sorry." She said finally. He nodded and looked at her, his eye sad, tired, but also grateful.

"Thank you."

They had exchanged a few words once in a while since then, but Bell had the feeling that there was a wall between them. She decided, however, that she would not impose herself on him and would accept that he apparently had no need to become more familiar with her.

Isabel invited her to her vernissage, which was to take place in a few days at one of the famous local restaurants and pubs in one. Bell didn't want to go there, she was tired and completely immersed in her thesis. She decided to grant her a bit of rest, and finally she arrived at the agreed time.

She walked inside and immediately saw Isabel standing at the counter with Aemond, both of them holding beers. Isabel hugged her, happy that she had come.

Bell saw Aemond look at her as if he was scared of her. He turned his head quickly, taking another gulp of beer from the bottle. They greeted each other, and after a while the owner of the premises began the vernissage with a few words of introduction. Then Isabel spoke, and people dispersed to admire her works.

Bell was delighted when she noticed her classmates in the crowd of people - Emma and Peter, lovely, cheerful, talented people.

They sat together at one of the tables, ordering drinks, talking lightly on various topics. Bell saw Isabel and Aemond join several tables and sit down in a large group with their entire year.

For some reason, Bell felt sad at the thought that she probably wouldn't say a word to him for all evening. As she got up to go to the restroom and passed them, she saw Aemond glance at her from afar, but he turned quickly back to talking to his classmate. Bell thought that she would be heading home soon, heartbroken.

However, Isabel approached them and suggested, seeing that many people had already left, that the three of them join them and spend the evening with them. They gladly accepted this offer, took their chairs and sat down.

Bell decided that she wanted to get drunk to mask her sadness and desperation. She began to tell Isabel about her childhood stories, how she was a mafia boss in kindergarten and no one could take any toy from the shelf without her knowledge.

Isabel laughed loudly, and with her several people who listened with amusement. She saw that Aemond was looking at her. He stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and she thought with shame that he probably thought that she was a stupid idiot.

People slowly went home and said goodbye to everyone, but she didn't want to leave as long as he was there. Eventually the six of them stayed together and sat closer to each other, Aemond ordering another beer.

She could see that he was already slightly drunk, but he tried his best to show it as little as possible. After an hour, Isabel and her friend said that they were hungry and were going home to eat something. Emma and Peter also said that they had to go back.

In the end, they were alone.

"Was this city your first choice when you applied to Academy?" She asked curiously, wanting to strike up any kind of neutrally safe conversation. He looked at her in surprise, toying with his beer bottle.

“No.” He said finally. “I wanted to get to the capital, but they did not accept me. I failed my exams and ended up here, because only here was there still recruitment. It was probably my biggest failure in life.” He said casually, looking at his bottle absently. Bell rolled over in place and smiled warmly.

"I'm glad you didn't get in there." She said, before she could think what it sounded like. Aemond looked at her in shock, swallowed softly, and looked down, embarrassed. He did not answer.

She wanted to add something and deepen her thought, so that he wouldn't feel so awkward, but a waiter approached them, informing them that he was about to close the place. They had to quickly drink what they had and leave.

They settled outside the restaurant, looking at themselves uncertainly, not knowing, what to do.

"Which way are you going?" He asked, without looking at her. She pointed to the main, lit street on the right. He nodded and said that he was going there too.

They walked together, and for a moment there was a long, awkward silence between them which he broke.

"Simon is imposing on you?" He asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and she, surprised, giggled at his question.

Simon was an odd character in their year, who sought constant attention. He made himself an infinite artist, having a great opinion of himself. He also constantly tried to establish new artistic relationships, create a kind of bohemianism, be the leader of an artistic group that he would create himself.

“He offered to take pictures of me, using the 19th-century technique. I don't have any pictures of my great-great-grandmother, so I agreed to pose in period attire. I had to pose for him in his rented room and I have to admit, it was incredibly weird. He wanted me to come over later that evening to see him develop the photos, but I figured that he probably wanted me to see something else." She said amused, the alcohol buzzing in her head, making everything seem laughable to her. Aemond smirked at her words.

"You did right. He also texts me all the time, praising my works. He's attention seeking whore and he annoys me so much." He hummed low and she looked at him, happy and beaming that they were finally talking lightly.

She felt a pleasant shiver as their shoulders rubbed against each other once in a while. Even though they didn't have to, they walked very close to each other.

Bell looked at him, seeing the street that he should turn on. She knew roughly where he rented a room, because Isabel lived nearby and had told her once.

"Isn't your street over there?" She sputtered softly, pointing diagonally, her seeing blury. She saw him purse his lips at her words, repeat the mechanical movement of stroking his chin with his hand again. She thought that he did it when he was stressed.

"No. I'll feel better if I walk you home." He said after a moment. Bell felt a heat in her belly at his words, and it wasn't the alcohol.

They set off together, talking about light, non-committal topics. Aemond looked around her neighborhood, surprised as if he suddenly recognized where he was.

"Isn't there a church not far from here?" He asked low, evidently the alcohol had begun to imprint on him as strongly as it had on her. Bell nodded.

"Yes, right behind that house." She said, pointing her finger at the tower that was barely visible in the night sky. Aemond muttered under his breath, agreeing with her.

"I go there every Sunday." He said lightly, and her heart skipped a beat at the thought that he came so close to her home every week and she didn't know it.

He took her to the building itself. They stared at each other for a moment.

She couldn't help herself and just hugged him. He returned the hug stiffly and turned away, wishing her a good night. Bell returned to the apartment delighted.

Since then, she and Aemond had exchanged messages from time to time, often simply complaining about Simon and how he tormented them.

[Bell]: I feel like his mistress that he is cheating on you with.

[Aemond]: I feel the same, he fucks us as he wants. Should I be jealous?

[Bell]: About me or about him?

[Aemond]: Good question.

She pursed her lips as she read his words, her cheeks blushed. They used to say such sentences to each other from time to time, and she felt subconsciously, that even though they both pretended that they weren't, there was something going on between them.

They started going out together with his other friends to the city. Isabel always invited her, but now that she knew more of their year, she felt more at ease with all of them.

They sat down in one of the pubs, on a large, arched couch, in front of which was a big, round table. Even though there was plenty of room on the other side, Aemond sat down next to her. She took a sip of her drink, trying to hide the smile that appeared on their faces.

They sat there for several hours, talking about their professors, their classes and difficult assignments, unfinished projects and exams that were still ahead of them. The bartender finally told them that they were about to close, so they got up to leave. Aemond, Isabel, and Bell were walking in the same direction.

Bell instantly regretted her decision not to go to the restroom. She considered running into some bushes before her bladder gave out. She pursed her lips, feeling like she really wasn't going to last any longer.

"I need to go to the restroom." She mumbled softly, looking at them. Aemond looked at her in surprise and swallowed.

"You can come over, but I warn you, my roommates have turned this apartment into a pigsty." He said low and hesitant, embarrassed by his proposal.

Bell felt a heat in her lower abdomen at his proposal. The thought of being alone with him, at night, in his apartment.

"Stupidity, I live closer! Come to me Bell, I live around the corner already!” Isabel said cheerfully, not understanding that she had just ruined her entire plan.

Neither she nor Aemond could explain why Bell should go to him when she did live closer so Bell, disappointed, went to Isabel and returned home.

As she was going to bed, she saw that Aemond had shared with her via the app a link to a Facebook event about a lecture at the museum about Renaissance art, which they both found to be interested in. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that he had written another message underneath it.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Bell wondered for a long time if this was actually a date or not. She decided not, so she dressed the way she would dress for class - dungarees, a white turtleneck, and cherry-printed socks. She let her long, dark hair down.

When she got there, she was pleased to see that Aemond was already waiting for her at the entrance. She had heard him say once that he hated being late. They both showed up ahead of time.

They greeted each other and entered without a word, taking their seats next to each other. The lecture began, and she tried to focus as much as possible on what the woman was saying, not on the fact that he was sitting next to her.

After a few minutes, she decided that she could at least glance at him once in a while. She looked at him and saw that his eye was fixed on her socks. She blinked questioningly. He looked up at her eyes, a smirk on his face.

"Nice socks, cherry." He grunted and she blushed as she turned her head away. She felt her heart pounding hard, her fingers quivering slightly in her lap.

She tried to convince herself that she hadn't been falling in love with him in recent months, but she knew that wasn't true.

After the lecture, Aemond offered to walk her back again which she greadily agreed to. As they walked, she felt him slip something into her jacket pocket and she jumped in surprise, a smile lighting up her face.

"What's that?" She asked, sticking her fingers in her pocket, feeling the little ball with the stick on it. She took it out.

It turned out to be a strawberry lollipop.

“You once told Isabel that you didn't like cut flowers. That you'd rather men bring you lollipops, because you might eat them at least." He said, feigning indifference, looking at her expectantly as if to see if her reaction would be what he expected.

She pursed her lips, looking at him happily. She thought that she could kiss him now.

"Yes, thank you, it's a wonderful gift." She said, unwrapping the lollipop and immediately popping it into her mouth.

She could see him trying hard not to watch as she slipped it in and out of her mouth once in a while with a loud click of her saliva.

When they were in front of her building, she decided that she wanted to try. That she really likes him, really values him, really wants him. She thought it might work.

Christmas break was approaching and she knew that he would be leaving in a few days. She decided that it was the perfect time to ask him for what she had wanted to do for a long time.

"I'd like to write you letters when you're gone. Will you give me the address of your family home?" She asked uncertainly, her voice trembling slightly as she popped the lollipop into her mouth again.

She saw him tense all over, his gaze rising from her lips to her bright eyes. He swallowed softly, then forced out one sentence with difficulty.

"I'll give you my address only if you give me yours."

_____

My dears, those who know my private stories from my blog may have guessed, but - beware - this story is an exact reflection of how I met my husband-Aemond. Tomorrow we celebrate our second wedding anniversary. Everything I wrote in this fanfic really happened! Of course I condensed it and left out some important events to make it make sense as a plot, but that's how we fell in love.

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @astral-blossoms @randomdragonfires @amirawritespoorly @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Do you have a fancast for the batfam?

Ooo! Thank you SO MUCH, anon!!! I absolutely ADORE getting questions like this and I don't usually get them so this is such a treat! 😁

That being said....I don't exactly have a fancast for the batfam 😅 Instead, I tend to have a specific version of each character (mostly from a certain comicbook style) as a fancast if that makes sense.

However, I've put some thought into it and have a few ideas I'll put under the break if I were to cast them today. I'll also include the version of the character I usually picture when I write/read/think of the character.

Bruce Wayne/Batman

My go-to version of Bruce Wayne is the Dan Mora comic book one (though he sounds like Kevin Conroy in the Animated Series 😁).

For a fancast , I know it isn't an original opinion but I think Jensen Ackles would be a great choice. We missed out on him doing a live-action Jason Todd after his amazing voice work in Under the Red Hood, but I think he could really capture the duality of Batman & Bruce Wayne as well as show a third, more tender side when interacting with the Batfam.

(Other options I like include Karl Urban and Jon Bernthal. Also, shout out to @mayhem24-7forever who first suggested Oscar Isaac to me as a possible Bruce Wayne and I LOVE that idea!)

Dick Grayson/Nightwing

So this one is a little more complicated. My go-to version of Dick is the comics version by Mikel Janín. However, my Nightwing costume is the one by Bruno Redondo.

For the fancast, this one might be a little out there, but I really like Leo Howard for it. He hasn't done much acting recently, but he is known for his martial arts skills which would be a big plus for playing Dick/Nightwing.

(Honorable mentions to Evan Evagora)

Jason Todd/Red Hood

The Dexter Soy version of Jason is the one I always picture him as, especially the Red Hood costume (and it is still my dream to cosplay this one day).

For a fancast, I really like Tanner Buchanan for a post-death Jason. My only problem is he's too short! I need a 6ft+ Jason! But otherwise, I think he'd be great!

(Another choice I really like is Jacob Elordi)

Tim Drake/Red Robin

I had trouble finding the specific artists, but this is the version of Tim that I usually go to.

For a fancast, I'm leaning toward Griffin Gluck. He has a sort of presence or aura that feels very Tim to me.

Damian Wayne/Robin

I am most familiar with Damian from the DC Animated films so that's usually what I picture him as.

For fancast, I think Carter Rockwood is perfect! And the fact he is already working on a short video playing Damian just solidifies it.

If anyone is interested in me continuing with more of the extended Batfam or any of the villains, please let me know and I would love to share! 🥰

[yuriko-mukami]

Star-Crossed Canvas

Chapter 01 || Chapter 02 || Chapter 03 || Chapter 04

Inspiration for this story came from the art I commissioned and a conversation with @ruki-mukami-dl 's admin. After talking about the art piece with her, I simply had to write this. She has betaread the story. For the longest time, I have wanted to write a DL drama CD-like story, yet, it seems I'm unable to pull off the script-styled writing. I admire everyone who can do it, but personally, I feel like I can't express my visions properly with that. So, once again I went on with prose. Still, I would say that this story is also inspired by DL drama CDs. And I actually would love to see what kind of star-crossed canvases other DL OCs would run into with their lovers. So, if you find the theme inspiring enough, make your own version of it. And tag me. I want to see it too.

Art made by @dlyuiannii as a commission.

Chapter 01

“You have two hours.” The teacher gazed at the third-years she had brought to the special exhibition of the art museum of Kaminashi City. It was sponsored by Sakamaki Tougo and was only open during late hours. “I want you to walk through the museum, pick up a painting, and analyze it. Make notes on how the artist has used colors and how that relates to the artistic trends of the era. Later you will write an essay where you combine these facts with your personal experience of the painting.”

Yuriko listened closely to everything the teacher said and wrote down the instructions. So interesting! She peeked at the earlier notes she had made during the classes. Yosh! She could pull this off!

Suddenly, Yuriko felt how arms snaked around her waist and a jaw landed on her shoulder. A familiar musky scent greeted her nose, making the corners of her mouth instantly curl up.

“Did you get everything, my angel?” Ruki’s whisper sneaked into Yuriko’s ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Yuriko nodded and lifted her hand, showing her notes to Ruki. “Yes. I think so. I know what we are supposed to do.”

“Good girl.” Ruki chuckled. “Then let us go. We need to find our piece of art.”

Their piece of art. Yuriko’s heart skipped a beat. Ruki wanted to use the same painting as her which meant they could do everything together before writing their essays. And later they could compare their thoughts. So perfect!

“Yes, let’s hurry.” Yuriko pushed the notebook into her school bag and meandered around, meeting Ruki’s gaze. “You know… I’m happy that you decided to join me in the art history class.”

Leaning in, Ruki brushed Yuriko’s bottom lip with his thumb. The touch was brief, yet it sent an electric pulse through her body.

“I am not interested in wasting my time trying to draw or paint something. But this requires a different kind of skill set. One that suits me well.” Ruki let his hand slide along the column of Yuriko’s neck before laying it on her shoulder. “Since you insisted you wanted to participate in an art class, this seemed the best possible option.”

And off they went. Ruki captured Yuriko’s hand with his cold one and led her away from their classmates who were just about to start to look for the piece they wanted to analyze. Yuriko gazed around in the dim lighting of the museum. Only the paintings had lights above them but everything else was covered by shadows. 

It would be a hard task to pick up one painting only. Everything in the exhibition was extraordinary like it had been a collection of lost pieces of art. Yuriko had never seen them before, not even in books. They all had an aura of mystery around them – she could almost smell it – and they seemed to belong to different eras of human history around the world.

“Umh… Ruki?” Yuriko peeked at the Vampire as they proceeded further into the exhibition halls.

Ruki squeezed Yuriko’s hand as if telling her that he was by her side. “What is it?”

“The teacher… She said that this exhibition is sponsored by Sakamaki Tougo…” Yuriko took a breath. That was a family name she didn’t like to think about. Yet, the curiosity tingled through her. It was impossible to ignore. “I know he is a politician, a famous one. I never thought about it before… but… is he related to the Sakamaki family?”

It was an odd thing to ask for sure. Of course, it could be that the name was simply the same without any connections. More than that. It was likely. Yuriko had met the head of the Sakamaki family, the Vampire king Karlheinz himself. The Sakamakis were pureblood Vampires, so surely a politician had nothing to do with them…

“He is Karlheinz-sama.” Ruki’s voice was low as it caressed Yuriko’s ear. “I would not share that information just with anyone, but you should know. This is his exhibition. He has an eye for human art.”

“Oh… wow…” That was something Yuriko had never imagined about the king. The man with long white hair and golden eyes radiated intimidation like a true demon would, for he was one, of course. It was enticing how he was so interested in humans, simple mortal beings that didn’t compare to supernatural creatures.

Yuriko was still in awe of the thought, looking at the paintings through them. What could have Karlheinz seen in the one with bright flowers? What about that woman who stared into the void? There was no way to know what had gone through the man’s mind as he had picked up each piece.

The couple kept walking until Ruki stopped in front of a painting. A night sky spread in all its glory behind a huge steamship with four huge pipes on it. Yuriko found it oddly familiar even though she was sure she hadn’t seen this picture before.

“Many pieces of art were lost that day…” Ruki approached the painting. “This one has been painted later, of course. It is not very old if you ask me.” He chuckled as if he had told a joke. “Somehow, I still find it intriguing.”

Yuriko stepped closer, gazing at the name tag next to the painting. She didn’t recognize the artist but the ship's name she had heard before. “Oh, oh! I know! I know! I have seen a foreign movie about this. It was made ages ago!”

Ruki scoffed, turning to look at the Kitsune. “Ages ago? I do not have much interest in movies, yet I know it was not too many years since the one you talked about came out. Only…” He stopped talking, perhaps counting how many years exactly. A peal of tiny laughter escaped him. “Forgive me, my angel. It is indeed true that the movie is older than you. Though, I have noticed that you are lured in by things that many would consider not very modern.”

“Oh, you think so, Ruki~?” Yuriko closed the distance between them, pressing her palm on Ruki’s chest before rising on her toes. “I do see old-fashioned things… and people beautiful and captivating.” She allowed a smile to settle on her lips. “Very much so…”

Without permission, Yuriko pursed her mouth against Ruki’s, sucking his bottom lip between hers. He groaned, snatching her in his arms and pressing one hand on the back of her head as his tongue snaked into her wet cavern. Yuriko hadn’t expected such an intense kiss that made the museum around them shatter in her eyes and air swoosh in her ears. Ruki’s smooch was so strong that it filled the room with magic that spirited everything away for a moment.

A cold breeze hit Yuriko’s legs and made her skirt whirl. She gasped into the kiss, hanging onto Ruki. “Oh my gosh!” Her words drowned between them.

“Fuck!” Ruki broke the kiss and pressed Yuriko on his chest. “What did just happen?”

Peeking from Ruki’s embrace, Yuriko realized that they weren’t in the museum anymore but in the sea where an icy wind wiped around them while waves hit the sides of a ship that sailed through the night. Lights from the inside danced on the deck, sparkling from the windows.

“Oh my gosh… what… is this?”

[foone]

The fundamental problem with comedy is that the highest form is improv. Not "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" style formalized improv, where you ask the audience for suggestions and build a comedic scene around that, but the basic skill of "something just happened, make a joke about that". This got long, so it'll be after a readmore

It's a life skill, not a type of art you produce. Jokes like this don't make it into movies and shows and blogs, it just happens. You're with a friend or two and something funny happens and you make a joke about it, everyone laughs. It's personal, you tell the best joke because you know your audience, you have shared history.

And you can see how we try to capture this in produced comedy: it's why we have comedy movies and sitcoms, literally "situation comedy". It's not just half an hour of stand-up, telling joke after joke, it's about setup and putting the protagonists into situations, and having it be funny, usually with them making a joke about the situation they're now in.

But there's an artificiality to it: the same people writing the situations are the ones writing the witty jokes. They set up the dominoes and they're the one who knocked them over.

And hell, even stand-up is rarely as simple as just "setup->punchline, rinse lather repeat". There are some comedians who can pull that off, but it seems far more comedians are "observational comedians", meaning they're making jokes about the absurdity of the world and modern life. They'll tell a story, even if it's as simple as "so I went to the post office and it was annoying and people were mean and I made jokes about it!". They're doing storytelling: here's the situation, and here's what I said in response, either in the moment, later during this retelling, or some combination of both. (Ed Byrne has a bit where he says "yes I was very witty that day, almost like I had several weeks to come up with the perfect response!")

And maybe the closest we can get to this "in the wild" (meaning in a produced media form) is MST3K and similar riffing. The people making the jokes didn't make the story, so they have plausible deniability. And even if they've seen the movie several times and written out jokes ahead of time, they can feel like they're reacting in the moment.

But the funniest jokes will never be made this way. No sitcom or comedy film will be the funniest, no stand-up one liner or knock knock joke, not even an improv scene that makes you nearly piss yourself in laugher.

The funniest jokes are when you and an old friend are getting ice cream and the person in front of you asks for vanilla with extra sprinkles then sends it back because there's "too many sprinkles" and you turn to them and say "I thought my ex-wife moved back to Chicago!" and you have to leave the establishment because you're crying with laughter and can't get it under control enough to actually make your order. It's something that'll probably only ever make sense to you and your friends, and in that particular moment. You could sit down and explain the situation and the back story but that would never capture one tenth of the humor, and even if they understood, so much of why it's funny is that it happened in that moment and without the setup.

Because even if you are truthfully recounting what happened to someone else later, and don't need to explain all the back story, you're still implicitly telling a story that sets up a situation. This is now a joke, and you might as well start it with "so an Irishman and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."

You're setting then up for all the expectations of comedy. And that inherently ruins some of the comedy! Because comedy, in a way, is an error message. It's a mis-prediction. It's your huge brain trying to do what it does and predict what will happen and what you'll say next and understand the situation and figure out how it'll go, and realizing it's wrong, and fundamentally wrong. It made assumptions that were reasonable to make, but it had those assumptions proven very wrong.

Like, one way this has been described is the idea that jokes are telling two stories: the one you assume, then at the last moment they pull the rug out from under you and reveal there was a second story, and you have to mentally backtrack and retrace your steps to see how the second story is the correct one.

Like, simple example, and I'm sorry to ruin the joke (as someone said, explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: no one's that interested, and the frog dies)

Doctor: I'm sorry, we had to remove your colon

Me Why?

See, the humor comes from how the setup primes you to think that "colon" means the body part, but then the punchline reveals it's talking about the punctuation. The way the first line is interpreted is totally changed by the second, and the humor is how your brain handles to "whoops made a big mistake in how I understood/predicted that!"

And that's why it's never going to be the same level of comedy when telling jokes as just improv'ing a joke while out in the world. You tell someone a joke, they know a joke is coming. They have heard jokes before. Their brain is in joke mode. They are trying to imagine how things could be taken different ways, how the joke could work, what the punchline is.

This is why "a comedian's comedian" is a thing. Your Milton Jones style comedy ("My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off"), where it's very absurdist and includes a lot of anti-jokes. It's why simple jokes like the above are often called "dad jokes", because they're the kind of jokes you tell kids. Not just because they're not raunchy or anything, but because they're lessons in how jokes work. They're jokes that only work on people who don't yet know how jokes work.

Whereas absurdist comedy and anti-jokes can work amazingly on people who know how jokes work, if you're aiming for that audience. You basically write your jokes so that the audience expects the joke, predicts the punchline, but SURPRISE! the punchline is completely different or not a joke at all. For example:

I'm not like other dads

I’m a 19 yo woman with no kids

The comedy is your brain going into joke-mode and getting ready to figure out all the ways this joke could go and then WHOOPS the joke is that there isn't one and this is a straightforward statement that you got mislead into thinking was going to be a joke.

So, having said all that, hopefully you can understand what I mean. The best jokes are the ones that come out of nowhere because you are 120% not in joke mode. You're out somewhere with a friend trying to do something serious, something happens, then BAM! one of you comes up with something that just perfectly fits the situation and references some shared background/history you have together, and you were not at all expecting it. All your brains predictions were taken up with sensible boring things, and then suddenly BOOM! IN THE COMEDY!

And I think in a way, all produced, scripted (or hell, even unscripted) comedy is about trying to recapture that perfect moment. It's setting up situations for funny punchlines to exist in. It's making the setup so that the punchline works. But it can never fully match that unexpected moment, that perfection, because at its core its always artifical, or at least staged (as there's an expectation for this to be comedy). No one goes to an improv show expecting it to be Macbeth, but a production of The Scottish Play that turned into a comedy could be unexpectedly hilarious, if the audience wasn't expecting it.

But at the same time, even staying in the area of Shakespeare, there's clear differences between, say, Twelfth Night and Romeo and Juliet. The former sets up a bunch of elements that are clearly going to be used for comedy: identical twins, crossdressing, recursive crossdressing, metacrossdressing, unknowing homosexual relationships, disguises, and mistaken identities... All are clearly set ups for comedy. Even at the time, nearly half a millenia ago, these were old, well known tropes in comedy. Shakespeare sets up all the cans knowing he can knock them over later. These things exist in the story so they can lead to comedy, and they do. Maybe not in the ways the audience expects, but they'll lead to hilarity.

And even if there's not a specific punchline, the two-stories thing can be the joke, even when the audience is on it. Like, in the scenes where Olivia is professing her love for "Cesario" (who is actually not a man, but Viola dressed as one).

The audience knows Viola is a woman (and they presume a straight one), but Olivia doesn't (and she's also presumed to be straight). Even without a punchline about this situation, there's inherent comedy in the two separate understandings of the situation. Olivia thinks she loves this nice young man, and wants to woo him. Viola is stuck trying to politely reject her advances, without revealing her disguise. That's uncomfortable (for her) and amusing (for the audience) enough, but then Shakespeare goes one step further and has Viola asked to woo Oliva for her employer, Duke Orsino. That would really twist the screws and make the situation more awkward as Viola has to attempt to woo the woman who is already in love with her, but under false pretenses... Except Shakespeare goes ONE FURTHER and has Viola fall in love with Duke Orsino herself! While Viola can't herself express this love, because as far as Duke Orsino knows, she's a man named Cesario.

And then Viola's identical twin brother shows up and marries Oliva, who thinks he's Cesario, and IT JUST GETS WACKIER. There's plenty of jokes to be had at this absurd situation (and many of them are made!) , but the "first joke" of the whole situation is the way different characters have completely different understandings of what's going on. Olivia thinks she's just in love with a nice young man, Duke Orsino thinks his page is wooing Olivia for him (and definitely his page isn't in love with him), while Viola is stuck in the middle, having to balance maintaining her disguise with not offending Olivia, not failing her master, and then her own love for the Duke just makes everything more complicated.

It's an old story. Literally and figuratively. You set up a weird situation so that it's inherently somewhat funny, then you can put jokes in the moutha of the characters, and you can make the audience laugh at how you took a bunch of people stuck in this absurd situation and then made it weirder.

Anyway, so the reason I wrote this was because I was leaving my house this morning to go grab a coffee, and I saw a truck for a local construction company, "Tech Line". I immediately shouted "Tech L9ne! Cha!" which would have been the funniest thing in the world except no one else was there to hear it, and explaining it ruins the joke.

So instead I just rambled on about the nature of comedy and the truest form of it for 28 paragraphs. This is called a "Shaggy Dog Story". It's also called "ADHD".