#he is. The Problem

[ceruark]

Yandere MBTI - Volo

credit: Yandere MBTI system created by the amazing @ddarker-dreams! used with permission. words: 938 cw: yandere themes: obsession, stalking, manipulation, abduction. a/n: i have a phD in voloism

Final Assessment: CAMS

Cruel

“Then perhaps the day will come when you will suffer and agonize as I do now…”

Volo is as cruel as they come; as Cogita said, he’s a wretch, and he acts the part. He’s just so bitter and spiteful toward the world that it’s hard to believe he’d be kind to someone he took interest in. 

No, he’d be infuriated. He’s got his sights set on rewriting the entire universe— he doesn’t have time for such trivial feelings, and you’re just a distraction Arceus sent with the intention of getting him side-tracked. He hates himself for having something as pitiful as a crush, and rest assured, he will be taking it out on you.

On the surface, he appears to his darling as he would to anyone else: a helpful, humorous merchant who can be a bit sly at times, but harmless nonetheless. He’s always in the right place at the right time, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to help you when you’ve found yourself cornered by Hisui’s fearsome dangers. He would use this front to lure you in, but rest assured, internally he’s degrading you. He’s constantly snarking to himself about how easy your stupidity and naivety are going to make things for him.

You won’t see his true face until you’re in his clutches, his nails sunk too deep to shake him off. If you ever so much as raise your voice at him, he’s putting you in your place, reminding you of all the times he’s had to save you from Hisui’s harsh terrain and wildlife. You’re absolutely helpless without him, and you should show nothing but respect and love for him, who has devoted precious time and attention toward taking care of you. You’ll never survive without him, and you should show your appreciation for your savior by keeping your mouth shut and your head lowered.

Despite all of this, though, I feel as though a part of him would be somewhat reverent of his darling— all the friendship-evolved pokémon on his team speak to a softer side of him, and it’s in his nature, of course. He’s so obsessive over Arceus that anything else in this godforsaken universe he deems worthy of his attention and devotion would be worshipped in a similar manner. This manifests in such ways that you’ll never recognize it for what it is: tenderly stroking your hair while you sleep, tediously meal-prepping to ensure you’re receiving all the nutrients you need to be in good health, and mentally cataloguing all of your likes, dislikes, and fears to ensure that you’re comfortable when you’ve earned it and terrorized when you’ve displeased him.

Aware

“Ah, that is a problem, isn't it? What shall we do about that, indeed?”

Volo knows that you don’t love him back, and even if you do, he knows damn well that he isn’t deserving of it considering everything he’s put you through. But at the end of the day, he simply doesn’t care. He already believes he's the chosen one entitled to catching Arceus and rewriting the world, so who else could possibly be more worthy of his beloved? And what’s more, you were sent here by that merciless god to stop his heretic plans— you were sent here for him. Though having your affections and being worshipped by you like he so deserves would be nice, it’s something he can do without. So long as you’re by his side, where you belong, nothing else matters.

Manipulative

“Ah, I do beg your pardon. I suppose I must seem to be behaving strangely!”

There is not an honest bone in this man’s body.

As aforementioned, he’s pulling strings from the beginning to get you caught in situations where you’ll have to rely on him to get to safety so that you’ll start seeing him in a positive light. 

Even after he has you where he wants you, he won’t stop. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep you at his side by ensuring that he’s the only person you can rely on. He’ll tarnish your reputation with Jubilife Village and the clans so that you’re isolated from anyone in Hisui who has the power to help you. He’ll allow you to get hurt in the wilderness so he can come to your rescue and prove to you just how much you need him. He’ll show just enough affection to leave you feeling conflicted— you’ll resent him for his actions, but never enough to overcome the guilt that would come with leaving him alone.

Strict

“But not to worry. There are still corners of the Hisui region where we can stash you away in secret.”

Volo wants you all to himself, and he’s not willing to share your attention or affection with anyone else, regardless of whether they’re a family member, a friend, or— Arceus forbid— something more. He already sees himself as being the one destined to remake the fabric of reality itself, so he doesn’t believe there’s any reason for you to associate with people other than him. Besides, if things go his way, you won’t remember any of them, anyway.

He’s even worse after his defeat at the Temple of Sinnoh. He disappears off the face of Hisui, and he takes you with him. In a distant, unfamiliar region, you have no choice but to find comfort in the only person you’re familiar with. At this point, all the bitterness and hatred in his heart cause him to lash at you in crueler ways than ever before, yet cling to you even tighter— a combination that is sure to leave you both crumbling in each other’s arms.

[the-moon-loves-the-sea]

Shared here today by Matthew Boroson on Facebook. (ETA: Gaining inspiration from other authors is great. Lifting passages and avoiding giving credit isn’t.)

Tanith Lee was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award for best novel, for the second book of the Flat Earth series. She died in 2015. You can buy Tales From the Flat Earth here and here .

[incandescent-creativity]

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Can you imagine if the reason why Damian thought Bruce would be taller is because of Jason Built-like-a-tank Todd...

Damian is this kid training in the league and one day sees this absolute monster of a man just walking around.

Two hundred twenty-something pounds of muscle, a towering six feet AND some... Damian is used to having to look up to see people in the eyes. This guy could be crouching down, and they still wouldn't be at eye level.

Like mathematically, pythagorically, Damian has to be at 2 ft of distance or Jason is not seeing his ass. His mother says "He's still got some growing up to do" and Damian is like "More??!"

And well, if that tree in disguise was Robin, then naturally Batman must be like at least a head taller. Right?

Cut to show day, Damian has this image of Todd in his mind, distorted by time and the perception of a kid. And he's comparing that to Bruce, genuinely confused, like "Where's the rest of ya?".

[cowboysmp3]

there’s something sooo sickening about how dunmeshis whole energy is like sometimes something terrible and awful happens to you and it changes you forever and nothing can make you the person you were before but there’s still love and there’s still sharing a meal together and there’s still living

[ghosted-jazz]

Doey's 2/3 angsty traumatized teen, I think he'd love MCR

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[truuskn]

he's so cute and sillyyy 😫 my goood, look at him, just look at him!! how do we even have the nerve to pump his life with angst? my dude deserves to be happy 24/7

[egophiliac]

hear me out

silver vanrouge ❌️

silver draconia ✔️

malleus beats lilia to the punch

[morganbritton132]

Wayne’s opinion on Richard Harrington is not good and his opinion on his kid is not all that great either. He didn’t forget all the times Eddie complained about the boy and his friends, no sir.

Eddie says that Steve has turned over a new leaf but Wayne thinks the kid is rude. He’s over at their house all the time and ignores Wayne half the time when he’s talking to him. Kid is eating the food out of his kitchen and can’t even give him the time of day?

He mentions it to Eddie once when Steve wasn’t around and Eddie, around a mouthful of Frosted Flakes, asks, “Did he have his hearing aids in?”

“What?”

“Yeah, he hates ‘em so he never wears them,” Eddie shrugs. “Can’t hear for shit without ‘em though.”

Well.

Now Wayne feels like an asshole.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

UGHGJHTGH THEYRE SO FAMILY TO MEEEE

[technically-human]

Jayce Talis but give him the Giopara (lack of) charm

[prlssprfctn]

To this day, I think the crack-au with Jason joining Bruce Wayne alike competition for fun and accidentally winning, and this becoming a reason why the whole Batfamily finds out that Jason is alive in the first place, is the funniest version of a fix-it scenario.

[arsenicpanda]

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

[canisalbus]

saw your last post! you should draw them both wearing the scarves.

headscarf and bitch sunglasses just scream Machete

I don't know about scarves, but this might be an apt time to share these doodles I made last summer, of him in bitch sunglasses and a great big hat.

[corkinavoid]

Danny, appearing out of nowhere: Hi!

Danny, reaching into Jason's chest and pulling out a misshapen, disgusting blob of dark green goo: You've got a spare part you don't need there, buddy.

Danny, molding the goo into a different shape with his bare hands, throwing the darker parts away: And, you know what they say, sharing is caring, so.

Danny, holding up the pure green and slightly glowing blob that is not melting or looking sick anymore: Here you have it, an entirely new spleen, fresh baked and up for grabs!

Danny, shoving said spleen inside Tim: Since you're missing one, you get to have it for free, no returns, you're welcome.

Danny, fading from view with a two-fingered salute: There, puzzle solved, everyone have a great day, bye!

Jason, whose Pit Rage is gone:

Tim, who has a new organ now:

Bruce, who, just like everyone else, has absolutely no idea what just happened and who that glowing kid was:

Dick:

Dick, a moment later: Hold the fuck up, when and how did you have a splenectomy, Timothy?!