#her actions came from a place of hurt and feeling a little betrayed

[strandsofgold]

Mystra's design and why I love it actually

I get the sense that people are kind of disappointed by Mystra's design in Gale's Act 3 confrontation. People have quite literally written "That's not a goddess, that's Jeesica from English 101" or something along those lines.

But I personally feel like that's the point.

When Mystra presents herself in a way where she looks entirely human, all slender limbs and flowing hair, it's so easy to forget that she's a goddess. That she has near unlimited knowledge and power.

Groomers, and abusers by extension, always use the same rhetoric, and one of the things they like to say is "you came onto me, you initiated it, I didn't have any power to resist you", and I think that's kind of what Mystra is going for here.

Gale, when he looks at her, doesn't see a goddess but a woman, his ex-lover, someone he has convinced himself he betrayed and hurt more than he himself was hurt.

It makes her more empathetic in the eyes of both Gale, but also any outsiders who might not know the full story.

Imagine if Mystra presented herself to Gale the way Shar does to Shadowheart. It would feel wrong because while Shar is doing her utmost to put Shadowheart in her place, to hurt her as much as she can, to remind her of her unfathomable power, Mystra is not trying to do that to Gale.

Quite the opposite actually. She is trying to make him feel like he is the only one to blame for everything that happened, that she is being kind and magnanimous by letting him earn her forgiveness, and that there is simply nothing she can do to help him in any way shape or form (even though we've already learned that she could have easily eased his pain and suffering by letting the orb feed off the weave from the very beginning). That he, in fact, owes her.

So while her design is a little flat to look at, and I do feel that they could have maybe done something where she maybe changes appearance for a brief moment as her temper rises (a bit like Raphael shedding his human glamour), I really do like that she's as human-looking as she is.

It feels very deceptive and manipulative which is very much in line with her actions throughout the game.

[wonderlandmind4]

Super agree with Foggy...look at Defenders where he sets aside his feelings towards Matt being Daredevil and shows him support by handing him his suit personally. And in S3 when he was adamant to Karen that he was willing to forgive Matt and didn't want to abandon him

But is Karen really at the same level of importance? One of the things that tick me is that I feel like I've seen Karen support Frank more than she ever did Matt. This is why I kinda fail to see the "she's so vital to Matt"...she didn't really show that. Not saying I wanted her to just show mindless unconditional support but it was weird how much more grace she showed to Frank than Matt in attempting to understand his motivations. She just straights up liken him to an addict which is problematic to me. Matt was the one man to ever help her first in her problem yet she couldn't lend him as much grace as she did Frank. Doesn't sit well with me at all

This is why she will never be as important as Foggy IMO. Sorry for the long rant.

Agai this really is a matter of fan’s opinion because I’ve seen so much Karen hate sadly, but for me, yes. I think she is. I say Foggy was the heart of the show, but not only to Matt, he was to Karen too. (She does say at one point that it was Matt AND Foggy that convinced her Matt was some kind of addict)

Matt has become one of my favorite characters ever, but I didn’t ignore some flaws he had or slightly had, and Karen was also a flawed character in certain ways. But she didn’t just straight up support Frank until after she dug deeper and found out what really happened why he was doing what he he did. And unfortunately that came at a time in S2 where there was too much shit on Matt’s plate and some things fell through the cracks. But Karen’s past makes sense of why she aligned with Frank and/or wanted to help him.

Because she also has a good heart under that penchant for pulling a trigger sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️ she’s just a little more okay doing it if she absolutely has to. But she’s always been determined and sharp minded and wants to help just as much as Matt does so when she was finally told, and it all made sense, by that point she was already hurt and disappointed 🤷🏻‍♀️ but she also comes around by the Defenders and S3- especially holding that hope and having a feeling that Matt wasn’t truly gone.

In S3 when Matt shows up at her place again Karen is back in a life threatening situation and her reactions to him again make sense for that moment and honestly very realistic.

If she was told sooner about Matt’s secret, if Matt revealed himself to be alive sooner in S3, she would have a different reaction. But this also goes back to my point about Foggy being the one who knows every side and shape and cut and damage piece of Matt. When he says to Karen that all of Matt’s life he’s been abandoned and he wasn’t going to do the same even after everything, and that everything was very much rooted in Matt’s own self hate and worth and his trauma. And I think once Karen was reminded of that she too wasn’t going to abandon Matt.

To me she never really did, stepping away to take time for herself is different than full on never speaking to him again or leaving, es if she felt hurt from the events in S2 but in The Defenders we see that she does still care for Matt.

The whole “vital” part to Matt thing I think is due to, again, her own heart and deep care she has for Foggy and Matt because she too lost her entire family (but it her fault or an accident) but because of some of the violence in her own life, and siding with Frank, she has more of an understanding with Matt’s violent Devil side and the injustice that’s the cause of that.

She’s just not the typical female character that sits by a man and lets them get away with hurting her or is super quick to forgive and forget, because if you hurt her you better not do it again. And maybe that’s something I resonated with in a way, but to me yeah, I think she’s just as important to Matt’s life. BUT that doesn’t have to be a continued romance (as they showed in Defenders and S3) and now that she knows everything and understands it more would make her someone else in his corner supporting him.

(Let’s not forget that Foggy still doesn’t outright support Daredevil’s tactics mainly because he’s terrified of Matt dying or getting caught)

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 9 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warnings(s): use of the d-slur, the one for lesbians. use of the q-slur, the one that’s been taken back.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 10

You lost track of time, mind consumed by Regina's mouth on yours. The feel of her lips, her hands playing with the hairs at the back of your neck, made you tingle. You didn't know much about actual technique when it came to kissing, but taking cues from and mirroring Regina seemed to work. When she opened her mouth and bit your bottom lip, you chanced a little tongue. Met with welcome, the kiss deepened. The sensations had you shivering, hands gripping tightly at Regina's waist.

"Bed, now," Hazy and a little slow, you chased Regina when she pulled away, making a pathetic little sound at the loss of her. She stood up and pulled you with her, roughly pushing you onto your back. Sprawled on the bed, you could only watch as she climbed over you. Soon, her lips descended down on yours again and your eyes blinked shut.

Then, startling you like a bucket of cold water thrown onto you, her hands snuck under your shirt. Her nails brushed at your ribs and you, despite the nervous excitement bubbling, began to feel apprehensive.

"Reg," You mumbled, hands moving from her shoulders to her upper arms. "Reg, I- hold on."

"What?" She kissed down your cheeks to your neck.

"Hold on, I-" Your breath hitched, the tickle of her lips in such a sensitive place hindering your ability to speak. "I don't wanna have sex."

As if shaken from a trance, Regina pulled away abruptly. Her hands slid out of your shirt and rested on either side of your torso, looming above you. The dim, warm tinted lamp light from the nightstand made her hair, hanging around you, seem like a halo. Or a canopy.

"You don't want to have sex." She said, voice a little hoarse and eyes betraying something until she pulled the shutters closed. "You're lucky I'm letting you get this far."

You stared up at her, stunned. "What? Letting me? You're on top of me."

"I know you want this. You've been wanting this for a long time. I've seen the way you look at me, the way you act around me." She spoke fast as if she was trying to convince both you and herself.

Panic was beginning to constrict around your throat. It took a while to find your voice.

"Reg, I'm sorry, but-"

"You should be sorry." She crawled away from on top of you and stood up. You leaned up on your elbows to keep looking at her. "You should be so sorry."

"I- I am," You tried to reassure her, tried to hold down your own hurt. "I just thought this was a little fast."

She rolled her eyes at you, though the action seemed jilted. "You've been pining the whole time we've been friends, I'd say it's been long enough. And now, when you have all you want offered to you, you reject it."

"Is this what this is about? Rejection? Regina, I just meant not yet."

"You're so fucking full of yourself." She accused, pointing a finger at you. The whole display was made weaker by the glistening in her eyes and the redness covering her from neck to ears.

"You think you can walk into my life, cause all sorts of chaos, take my family from me, and then reject me?" She hissed, gesturing with her arms all the while. You swallowed, unsure of what you should do.

She was firing insults at you and the only thing you could think to do was sit there and take it.

"Chaos? I'm not trying to take your family from you, Reggie, where's this coming from?" You stood up, feeling too awkward to be on the bed.

"You think I haven't seen the way you act around my mom or my sister? You want to be me so bad, you're acting like they're your family. They're mine and you're never gonna have them! You're never gonna have a family!"

You reeled back, offended by the uncalled-for insult.

"You have the gall to come to my home, my family's Thanksgiving dinner, acting all holier than thou meanwhile Kylie fawns over you and mom dotes on you."

"Are you jealous? They love you, Regina." Your ability to argue was getting flimsier by the minute, the stinging in your eyes inhibiting any power you could've drawn from.

"Jealous? You think I'm fucking jealous? I have everything and you have nothing!"

"I don't think that's true, Reg. I think that you're hurt and saying things you don't mean."

"You always put words in my mouth, try to manipulate me and change me into someone you think I should be. I'm good the way I am!"

"Change can be good, Reg, I just-"

"God, you're actually so insufferable. Genuinely, I cannot stand to be around you. I hate you." She turned away from you, hands going to her hair and tugging. "I don't need to change. I hate that you try to make me. I hate that you've already done it, with your fucked up mind games."

You blinked rapidly and breathed in deeply, trying to stay calm. She was just being destructive because she was hurt. She didn't mean any of it. She was just earlier kissing you. Didn't that count for something?

"I don't play mind games. I just wish you were kinder."

"You wish I was this and that, and what about me?" She whirled around and strode up to you. "I am this way. I am not kind, I'm not soft, and I thrive."

"Are you thriving, Reg?"

"Do not call me what stupid name!" She yelled, getting right in your face. You flinched back, startled and scared. "Oh, you're gonna cry now that your other tactics don't work anymore? I see right through you, you freak."

"Don't yell at me, Reggie." You said, biting your lip to keep it from trembling. You wiped at your eyes furiously. "I'm sorry, okay, for rejecting you, for trying to change you. I didn't mean to manipulate you."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to you." She hissed. "I'll fucking ruin your life. I'll tell people you're a lesbian and what you tried to do to me."

"What?" You breathed. "What do you mean? What I tried to do to you- do you hear yourself?"

"I hear myself, jorts, and so will everybody else when I tell them what a disgusting, perverse little dyke you are."

You wouldn't have described it as something snapping, but you'd had enough by then. It stung, hearing that from her, of all people. It stung more than you liked to admit because you knew her.

You knew she didn't mean it, she was lashing out, and desperately trying to cling to the power she'd lost the moment she'd been vulnerable with you- kissed you.

You didn't want to feel it, so you were mean instead.

"Just like you did to Janis then. Did you kiss her too and when you got scared you decided to ruin her life. Is that how it went?" You laughed bitterly and before she could interrupt, went on. "Is that how you're gonna live your life, Regina? Anytime you feel those dirty, lesbian urges you'll use some innocent bystander to sate your lust and then, because they know too much, you ruin them? Sounds very sustainable."

"How dare you accuse me of being that," Her face was scrunched in anger, red like the devil.

"Oh, I dare, I seem to recall you were just kissing me, on top of me, hands up my shirt. You're not fooling anybody, Reg, you're a filthy queer just like me." You were aiming to hurt now, wanting her to feel like you did. "The truth is, Regina, that you fucking hate yourself. You hate yourself and you just don't know what to do with yourself so you make everybody around you feel the exact same way."

"No, that's not true, I-" Seeing her face crumble, her posture turn defensive, stoked the fire of your anger. You wanted her to hurt, wanted to punish her for leaving you back then and insulting you now.

"You're like some shitty reincarnation of Heather Chandler, all high and mighty until you're inevitably toppled by some nobody you were so sure was so below you that they couldn't even pose a threat."

"Great film analysis there, loser." Regina quipped weakly, already backing down. You weren't done, though.

"It's only a matter of time before Cady Heron pours you a glass of drain cleaner too, and I'll be looking forward to the day." You sniped, watching as Regina's lip curled in an exaggerated show of being unaffected. You knew her. You knew she'd seen Heathers and you knew the parallels weren't pleasing to the eye. You knew you were going too far, but you couldn't stop.

"You think you're such a martyr, you think that-"

"I thought we were friends, Regina! All I wanted was to be your friend. Sure, I liked you, but that didn't have to mean anything until you kissed me."

"It meant something the whole time! You can't act like it was nothing, our whole friendship is tainted by it!"

"Get over yourself, Regina, you could've ignored it like you do every flaw you have!"

"I don't have flaws, I'm above that." She scoffed, but the tremor in her voice told you that even she didn't think that was true. "I'm doing everyone a favour by showing who's on top."

"Who are you? A fucking dictator? Is that how you truly see yourself? Because I see a scared little girl, confused and angry, taking it out on the easiest targets."

"Nobody gets to feel okay when I feel like this! It's not fair! It's not fair they get to be happy and I have to be like this all the time! I hate this and they deserve it!"

You fought to ignore your heart breaking for her, how her words and obvious cries for help made you want to bleed for her. You'd stood idly and let her hurt you for long enough, it was about time you stood up for yourself.

"Oh, well, I'm so sorry then. I'm starting to fucking get Janis. Maybe I could've come up with the Homecoming sprinkler prank myself. Maybe I should've let you use the lard for your face."

You regretted it the moment the words left your lips.

A beat, both of you staring at each other, faces slack and chests heaving from all the screaming, regret and betrayal swirling in the air like a toxic tornado, passed.

"You knew?" Regina whispered, suddenly so quiet the wind from your sails wooshed away. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"I... I did." You looked down. Fuck. You'd fucked up. You'd insinuated you wanted to see her die. You didn't want that at all. Tears sprung to your eyes again and you pressed the heels of your palms to them.

Could this even be fixed at this point? You should've just shut up and it wouldn't have escalated like this. You knew why she'd reacted the way she did, you knew, but you hadn't been able to stay level-headed when she'd started coming at you.

"Get out." She spoke normally, volume steady. She was shaking, you could see that even with your faltering vision.

"I'm sorry, Reg, I really am. I should've told you. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm sorry."

"I said get out."

Unable to hold it any longer, a sob burst out and you decided to leave before you humiliated yourself any further. You grabbed your overnight bag and practically ran out of the room.

You should've been quieter because Mrs George came to see who was stomping down the stairs so late. She had a wine glass in hand, a silken robe tied at her waist, and a worried look on her face.

"Oh, hi, I packed some leftovers for you to- oh, honey, what's wrong?"

"It's- it's nothing, Mrs George." You hiccuped and looked away, embarrassed by your crying. You couldn't look her in the eye. Did you want her to be your mom? Did it matter when Regina clearly saw it that way even if it wasn't true? Taking any comfort from her now felt like proving her right.

"It doesn't seem like nothing. Why don't we go sit and you can tell me what happened. Did Regina say something mean?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, please."

Mrs George sighed. "There's leftovers in the fridge for you." She lingered as you passed. "Honey?"

"What?" Usually, you didn't have the heart to be so rude to her.

"You're welcome here anytime." She smiled at you gently. Clearly, she was experienced in dealing with volatile teenagers. You turned and headed for the kitchen.

Walking home, bag on your shoulder and various containers of delicious food in your arms, you felt numb. You'd left through the garage door, grabbing your clothes from the mudroom as you went, but you still had on the sweatpants.

Tears dried on your cheeks, eyes swollen and nose stuffy, you didn't know what to do. Snow was falling and the streetlights made the scene look more beautiful than was warranted. You felt empty, hollowed out like you'd spilt your guts, heart, and most other internal organs on the floor of Regina's bedroom.

You got home, put the leftovers in the fridge, and stood in the kitchen. Swallowing on a dry mouth, throat scratchy, you figured there was little else you could do other than smoke a cigarette.

You stepped onto the porch and sank down onto the bench swing. Lighting up and inhaling, you closed your eyes as the smoke passed through you.

Regina by the poolside in her bikini, Regina eating pizza on your couch, Regina on the passenger seat of your car, Regina smoking a cigarette with you under the bleachers.

That was all gone, then.

Notes: I was a little wary of having the chapter be only the argument, but it got so long that I figured it'd be nice to have the next chapters work towards a resolution straight away. No need to stretch out the acute misery for any longer than necessary. I'll say, though, that just like IRL something like this isn't just fixed right away. So look forward to more chapters! This is getting so long. I started writing this like, hey, a cute oneshot with a butch OC! Here we fucking are.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer, @dandelions4us, @natashamaximoff-69, @alexkolax, @jareaul0ver, @here4theqts, @charleeeesworld, @natsbiggestfan1, @brocoliisscared, @yellowwallflowers, @scarlettbitchx, @ayoungexwife, @cyberbonesworld, @syddie-reads, @screechcat, @theenglishswiftie,@gabby-duhh, @sweetmissnothing, @masterofpuppets-10, @l1lass, @starved-mortal

[mccromy]

In regards to why Yue Qingyuan is like that when it comes to Shen Jiu, I have some thoughts.

To begin with, I always interpreted their relationship as purely platonic/familial (though perhaps with potential to turn into something else had things been different. I think their personalities are compatible in that way.)

Because of that, I empathize with Yue Qingyuan from my place as the oldest sibling, and because of it I think I can understand him when it comes to his behavior regarding Shen Qingqiu. (Because of that, I admit I'm not objective, so don't take this as a serious analysis and just my thoughts)

And for this I feel that Yue Qingyuan, more than allowing Shen Qingqiu to do what he pleases because he feels guilty, feels responsible for Shen Qingqiu's actions. He doesn't let Shen Qingqiu abuse his disciples, be hostile towards their fellow peak lords, and "engage in debauchery" just because he doesn't want to further strain their relationship, but because all of this is his fault.

When Shen Yuan first transmigrated and Yue Qingyuan asked him to stop punishing Luo Binghe, it didn't feel like he was making an attempt to stop Shen Qingqiu from further abusing the boy, but like the admonishment of an older sibling telling their little brother to stop acting a certain way. A "why are you doing this? You are not getting anything out of it, there's no reason for this other than you being cruel, stop it." Had Yue Qingyuan been making an attempt to stop him from harming his disciple, he would've actually put an end to it. He's the sect leader, he could just take Luo Binghe to another peak if not outright order Shen Qingqiu to stop.

There was a time my younger sister started bullying a classmate, she didn't see it as such, and I know she's not purposely cruel but she was young and thoughtless. In that situation I didn't take the other kid's side and reprimanded her harshly, yelled at her for being mean, ordered her to stop. I asked her why she did that (boy was annoying/everybody else was doing it too (and so it couldn't be wrong)) and told her that what she was doing was cruel, that everybody was being cruel to that boy, explained to her how bullying works, asked her how would she feel if she was annoying and everybody made fun of her, and asked her if she wanted to be a bully.

Yue Qingyuan said something along the lines of ''that boy hasn't done anything wrong, he tries so hard, aren't you tired? Hasn't it been enough?" He didn't take Luo Binghe's side like he should have, but he appealed to Shen Qingqiu's logic. He knew Shen Qingqiu and had an idea of why he was doing it, and addressed it calmly, tried to convince him to stop because there was no point, he was only making himself angry. He wasn't assertive either, only coaxing, because he also felt all of this was his fault. And not only that;

I believe Yue Qingyuan genuinely loved Shen Qingqiu, but he didn't like him anymore, and he felt terrible for it. He cared so much for him, yes, Shen Qingqiu was the only person he actually cared about and he couldn't be objective when it came to Shen Qingqiu. But he was constantly exasperated by him, he was so disappointed, and he knew he could like him again if Shen Qingqiu just stopped acting so caustically. But what right did he have to dislike Shen Qingqiu after how he failed him? If Shen Qingqiu acted like this it was because he was hurt, and whose fault was that?

Love and like do not always go hand in hand.

Think about a parent, a friend, a sibling, an aunt or an uncle. Someone you loved so much as a child and who was good to you. Someone who gave you gifts and played with you and heard you ramble and rant for hours, who defended you from others, who always had a smile for you. Now think about the time you realized they were a bigot, or that they yell to waiters, are cruel to animals. That they hit their partners or their children. You felt disappointed (and even betrayed) but you still loved them, you just didn't like them anymore, and you could no longer trust them, but if something happened to them, you'd be inconsolable. And you just know that if they just stopped you would like them again, you'd be so proud, you'd be so happy. In many cases like this what actually happens is that people feel guilty for loving someone so awful. In Yue Qingyuan's case, he felt guilty for not liking him.

Shen Jiu was not a good man, but he was hurt and the world had never been kind to him, so Yue Qingyuan took it upon himself to be unconditionally kind to him (even if he didn't realize that the way he chose to be kind also hurt Shen Qingqiu) and Yue Qingyuan was also the reason why Shen Qingqiu was so hurt, if Shen Qingqiu was cruel or violent, the blame fell on Yue Qingyuan's shoulders. How could he even dare to side eye Shen Qingqiu for how he behaved, when he wouldn't be like this if it weren't for Yue Qingyuan?

Yue Qingyuan's guilt doesn't come solely from not getting Shen Qingqiu out of Qiu manor, but from every single consequence that followed his failure. He's at fault for any and all of Shen Qingqiu's sins. He is also the only person who will ever be good to Shen Qingqiu, who knows he isn't the monster he made himself to be. He has no right to be disappointed in Shen Qingqiu's actions because they are his fault, he would never dare impose his own will above Shen Jiu's because hasn't Shen Jiu been subjected enough to the whims of others? he will never use his authority to stop him, he's the only ally Shen Jiu has, and he's also the only person in the whole sect with power over Shen Qingqiu, not only because of his position as sect leader, but because of how well he knows Shen Qingqiu, his secrets, his past and weaknesses. This puts him in a position to hurt Shen Qingqiu in ways no other could, to damage beyond what any other would be able to.

Yue Qingyuan's regrets are way more complex than what people make them out to be. Yue Qingyuan is aware that his silence about the fact that he did come back but was too late wounds Shen Qingqiu deeply, and the longer he doesn't explain himself the more Shen Qingqiu hurts. But this is also the only way he has of punishing himself, and he also feels guilty about it.

Imagine how he must see his own situation, Yue Qingyuan is respected and well liked, rich and powerful, he will never have to submit to other's wishes, he is free, untouchable, his brother is alive and healthy and close by. He has it all and more than he ever dreamed of, and deserves none of it, how could he ever allow himself to be forgiven? When in the end he's the person who has hurt Shen Jiu the most.

There are more reasons why he keeps quiet about the Linxi caves, most stem from trauma, and I believe his own need for punishment is one of them.

So when I see his behavior being reduced to ''he doesn't want for sqq to hate him more'' or ''he's just ashamed and guilty'' I feel sad because, Shen Jiu might be the most misunderstood character by other characters in the story. But Yue Qingyuan is the most misunderstood character by the fandom.

[obsessedwrhys]

𝘐'𝘓𝘓 𝘞𝘈𝘐𝘛 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝘈𝘕𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘓𝘐𝘍𝘌

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ angst, death, cursing, no happy ending, reader is female (shes for the girls 😼💪)!! Tommy is sort of replaced by reader in some scenarios. Did no proof read this again (im lazy)!!

ᯓ★

From as long as you knew, the two of you were inseparable, having knowing each other for almost 6 years. When Marlene needed some smugglers to smuggle Ellie out of the city, you happened to be one of the three and that's how you guys first met. However, on the journey of finding the Fireflies, it seemed to be full of surprises.

Just when you thought it was the end, more just show up to throw you off guard.

Going from Ellie's lame dad jokes to having to look after her when Joel was in no condition to do anything. You barely had the chance to catch your breath. In a way you were like the older sister since you were one year bigger than her. That's why when it was revealed the doctors needed to kill her to create a vaccine, you were game with the idea of massacring the whole hospital.

After escaping from the Fireflies, in a way, it's like you guys were able to build a new life at Jacksons.

As you two grew older, you found yourself developing feelings for her. You hated yourself for letting it happen but at the same you couldn't stop the crush from growing.

The more time you spent with her, the more you start to notice the little details about her.

How she bites her lips when she's shy.

How she'll look away when she receives a compliment.

How she would share her collection of cards with just you.

... and the way her eyes seem to always sparkle when she spots you amongst the crowd.

All these things just made you fall for her harder. But even in this new lifestyle, it still seemed to come with a box of surprises.

You were in your own house, inside the kitchen preparing a cup of coffee for yourself. It was almost the evening but you couldn't deny your needs. Before you could even take a sip, your front door was slammed open and you turned to see who it was. Your cup still in hand.

To your surprise, you came face to face with an angry expresson on Ellie. However there was more to it, she looked upset, betrayed. That was when you heard a voice telling you inside your head that she must have found out about the truth you and Joel agreed to keep from her.

"You fucking knew" She said. A blank expression remained on your face as you took a sip of your coffee, still trying to maintain your image at this time.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You gently place your coffee on the kitchen counter. Your words having her scoff out of disbelief.

"Don't play dumb with me! I'm not a fucking kid anymore!" She took a few steps closer.

You let out a sigh as your eyes trailed off to the window, looking at the outside. Your lack of response just pissing her off even more. Suddenly, she rushed forward and grabbed you by the shirt. Her actions getting your attention instantly.

"Look at me!" She shouted.

"Look at me and tell me!"

"Tell you what? That I killed all those people for you? That I saved you from those doctors? Is that what you want to hear?!" You raised your voice.

It was the first time she ever see you this angry and this was the first time you see her direct her anger at you. She glares at you before letting go of you, shoving you slightly against the kitchen counter which made several of the kitchenware dangle on the rack.

"How could you...?" She said, her expression now full of hurt.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It already happened. Ellie, this is your life now..." You took a step forward but she ended up taking a step back.

"My life could have meant something"

"Your life would have ended that day! Fuck... listen... Ellie... there was no way that vaccine was gonna work anyways. They were just basing it off a bunch theories. You have to understand" You said but it didn't change her mind even in the slightest. Within seconds, the hatred returned back on her face as she looks at you.

"I never wanna see you again" She said and before you could say anything else, she stormed out the house and left you all alone to your thoughts.

You sigh as you ruffle through your hair out of frustration. How could this happen? How did she find out? Did Joel tell her? Fuck... you rest both your hands on the counter top. Your cup of coffee already growing cold.

Just when you thought your life was hell, a bunch of people from somewhere had ambushed you and Joel when you guys were out on patrol.

The blonde girl you had thought was just another survivor being the one smashing his head open with a golf club and you couldn't do anything as you were knocked out. It was Ellie's cries that had awoken you moments later.

Your eyes fluttered open to be met with the sight of Ellie holding Joel close to her chest, tears streaming down her face while her clothes were dirtied with his blood. She was clinging to him like she was hoping being closer to him would bring him back. But it never happened. During his funeral, you couldn't even show up. The guilt was killing you.

You could have stopped it...

Why didn't you stop it?

Restless nights drove you insane. Apart from the checkups from Tommy, you felt like you were truly alone. You hadn't think this feeling would come to haunt you again after moving to Jacksons. Which led to your rational decision to set out on your way of finding the blonde girl behind this. Nothing but a note left on the kitchen table just for anyone who happens to look for you.

It was hard, you didn't only have the infected to deal with but also a cult. You survived and work your way closer to the location marked on your map.

But in the end, all of it didn't matter because when you finally came close to getting your revenge, you blew it, the girl's physique was larger compared to yours so she easily won over the duel and knocked you into the ocean. It was a miracle you made it to shore.

You felt numb.

Your ears ringing.

In a way you felt that you had failed Ellie.

Because you knew you were never gonna be the girl she looks up to anymore.

You will forever be known as the girl that broke her trust.

The girl she hates.

God sometimes it feels like no matter how hard you try it was never enough...

With your back on the sand, you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It was silly but you always thought that maybe you'd have a chance with her. What a world would that be?

"(Y/N)?"

You look over your head to see Jesse standing there, your perspective upside down as he rushes over to you. Once he was sure you were okay, he started to fill you in with the things that happened after you left.

As it turns out Ellie had also set out for the same exact goal.

After you were gone, she was confronted by Tommy in hopes she knew where you were headed. To his surprise, she had no clue since the last time you guys spoke was the argument in your house.

Despite the fact that part of her journey was for seeking revenge, she was also worried for you. She had to admit. She was scared. After losing Joel, she didn't want to lose you too. However in the end when she had to choose between finding the girl behind the death of Joel and finding you, she had picked the first one.

Luckily, Jesse was able to take you to where Ellie was at. When you rushed in the aquarium, you found her hunched over and vomiting. Close-by there were two dead bodies, one of them being a pregnant woman. Almost like it was an instinct, you quickly moved to where Ellie was. A hand placed on her back and the other her shoulder.

"Hey... Ellie... its me..." You said, your tone gentle. The sight of you somehow made her relax a bit.

"I...I just... oh god... I didn't mean to..." Her eyes constantly glancing over at the body of the pregnant woman as she stutters but you quickly grab her by the side of her face before she could again.

"It doesn't matter... we have to go..." You told her but she was still hyperventilating. With your arm around her, you ended up dragging her away from the place.

Eventually on the way to the theater they were using as hideout, you guys decided to rest for a while and set up a small camp inside an abandoned book store. Jesse took notice that you two needed time alone and volunteered to keep watch somewhere else. There was tension in the air but you tried to ignore it by making sure the fire didn't die.

"You shouldn't have left without me" Ellie blurted out and you chose to put aside the twig to focus on the conversation.

"You said you didn't want to see me again... so I didn't" You said. The sounds of the fire crackling filling up the quiet night.

You were curious at her silence.

Is she thinking right now?

Did you just piss her off even more?

"You're right" She got up and suddenly began walking over to the other side of the room. You didn't say anything but just watch her rest at the corner before looking back at the fire.

Great job, you fucked up again.

The next morning, you guys continued on your way to the theater while also looking for some supplies inside the buildings nearby. You ended up checking on a small convenience store by yourself while Ellie and Jesse tried to get in the huge supermarket. You walked down the aisle and was able to find several snacks still edible. Then you saw a door.

Staffs Only.

That room has to be crawling with supplies. You twist open the doorknob and began exploring inside, checking every lockers to find it rich with medicines and bandages. It's a miracle this place wasn't looted by that cult.

After your bag was filled to the brim, you started to head out but the second you take a step forward, something grabbed you by the foot which made you fall on your face.

You grunt when you felt a sharp pain on your ankle. You looked down and to your horror you found it was an infected grabbing onto you, the bottom half of its body was missing but that didn't matter right now because its grip was already digging deep into your flesh. Quickly, you took out your gun and shot it multiple times in the head until it goes limp.

"Shit..." You sigh as you rest your head on the ground to process the adrenaline, your feet kicking the infected corpse off you.

Sooner or later, you made it to the hideout with the two. You found yourself settled inside a room to rest. Your bag placed against the sofa while you ran your hands across the face. You felt tired. Suddenly when you tried to lift your feet up to lay down, you felt a sharp pain, rolling up your pants you found a bite mark just inches above the bruises.

For a moment, you thought that your heart had stopped beating. Oh shit shit shit shit this can't be real. You can't be infected. Fuck... Your panic was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. You looked up in a panic.

"Hey um... you got a minute?" She asked. It was Ellie.

You were scared and you sure as hell didn't want her to come in so you remained quiet because inside your head, it felt like there was a red alarm sounding off. You've been infected. You could turn in a few hours from now.

"I'm sorry for the other night" She said which had you look at the door, imagining it's her you're looking at.

"I just figured it'd be easier to hate you than to forgive you"

"But after what happened to Joel... I can't let that happen to us too..." You could hear her sigh on the other side.

"It'll take some time for me to forgive you for what you did but... I'm willing to try... we can start over" She said.

Damn it... this moment could have been perfect... this was everything you had hoped for but at the same time, you knew you weren't going to make it out of this room alive. No matter what you do or say, it won't matter.

"I understand if you're still mad at me. I just hope that you'll also try" You quickly looked away while trying to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe after this we can try living together? I mean... your house is pretty big so I thought it can be kind of lonely sometimes. We can keep each other company... start a farm maybe..." She said and you could sense she was smiling a bit from her tone.

You felt your chest hurt. Is the infection spreading already? You can feel your teeth loosening like they'll fall off. Your silence had Ellie take the hint you wanted to be alone which had her smile faltered a bit.

"Look... You're still my best friend and I still care about you so I'm sorry for always making you feel like shit. You know I love you right?" She said and you closed your eyes in hopes of stopping the tears from pouring out.

"I love you too" You mouthed the words but you couldn't bring yourself to say it because even if you did, she'll never be able to understand how you truly felt about her.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid again. I can't afford to lose you..."

You clear your throat, feeling it go painfully sore. How could you keep a promise like that? Just then you could hear her walk away with the sound of her footsteps growing faint.

The second you were sure you were now left alone, you hurried to your feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You panicked. Why does this have to happen?

Why did it have to be you?

You pull on your hair out of frustration but then you felt several strands of it easily ripped out just from your grip. Your eyes widened as you felt like your heart was beating from your ears.

You were worried about what Ellie would think.

She just lost Joel... now she's gonna lose you...

Fuck fuck fuck...

You sobbed almost pathetically to yourself. Not because you knew your life was over but you knew what you had to do.

It's the only thing you can do right now.

You went over to your bag and took out your gun. Maybe... shooting yourself instead of letting yourself turn could be less painful. You'd do everyone a favour.

You took a deep breath as you slowly start to point it at your head. Fuck you were actually gonna do it now.

Tears welling up in your eyes once again as snot filled your nose. You had so many regrets... so many things you never got to try.

Maybe in another life, an outbreak never happened. Maybe you and Ellie would still meet in that world. You guys could have gone to college together, maybe have coffee dates or staying up late together to have deep conversations like you two always did. You closed your eyes and let out a long shaky breath.

Maybe you guys could have been in love.

BANG

Your body falls on the ground like a sack of rice. All of your senses drowned out by the heavy smell of blood. As your body slowly started to die, you could hear the sound of the door being slammed open. A figure running over to your side to pick you up.

"Oh shit... nononono... wake up! You fucking idiot! Why'd you do that?!" Ellie cried as she hold you in her embrace.

"Fuck! Jesse! Get the med kit!" Ellie shouted but the light in your eyes were slowly dimming.

"No don't you fucking leave me! Not you too! (Y/N)!"

Her voice was now gone. It was quiet and hauntingly in a way it felt comforting. Almost like all of your problems were washed away.

There was no more surprises you had to worry about.

You could rest now.

[cookeybg]

Gotham Possesses

A cryptid Batfamily AU in which Gotham is the main character and follows its journey to consciousness as it follows its Bat and Birds. Chapters are short and a bit gloomy.

Main Characters: Gotham, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake (more characters pop up later, will add them then.)

No romantic relationships

Stuff to know: Cryptid Batfamily, grim, Melancholic mood, Angst, (let me know if I should add more tags)

Word Count: 493

[Here's my table of contents]

Chapter 8 - Gotham Mends

I felt the tether mend. Slack, unable to grasp it, it twisted and spun. I could not see where it led. All I could feel was the direction, out over the sea, too far away. Fractile images and thoughts came as quickly as they went. Still, the tether strengthened, it’s frayed edges smoothing, beckoning. He would return and I waited in anticipation for my little bird. In the center of my decease, where suffering and hopelessness covered the ground and penetrated the air like fetid fog, he exploded. He had returned, he took up residence in his old haunt, his soul now tinted with something I couldn’t place. Something…other. It filled the cracks, glowing green, with rage and misconception. The warmth of those he deemed unworthy, flowed, their heads rolled. I drank my fill, a bitter, rancid taste. Familiar. Strong. With the tools he had been given and new ones he had been taught, he domineered. Like a tidal wave he crashed against the oppressors, he fought for the oppressed and all too soon the tide hit my Bat’s shores. They clashed, their dance beautiful, deadly, sad. Reminiscent. Denial. My Bat knew who he was, I could feel his heart stutter in realization. My birds could feel the connection. All refused to believe it. My second, now called Red Hood, a name, a twisted joke, taken from the jester. He made my third spill his warmth, jealous, betrayed, bitter, hurt. Still I helped. I directed him. He needed an outlet. I let him do what he thought he needed to. My surface his playground while I worked. After all, what were some lives worth compared to our baby bird. My Bat might not have agreed, but it was all for him in the end. I would do what must be done. I tightened the tether. With a rush I slipped in, easily, he is mine. I fired synapses, cleared the fog, helped connect the dots and threw away the lies. Chiseled into the green cracks, destroyed the ones I could. He bled, he cried, he screamed, another death endured. For the inequity of it all, I shook the foundations in agreement, cracked the sky in a mournful wail. Images resurfaced. A green eyed woman, memories, familiar, guided him in the ways my Bat would not approve, but she also gave him warmth. She cared. A child he trained with, her coloring but characteristics too similar to my Bat. It was not the time for it, I stayed away. I vowed to dig deeper when my second was less fragile. He was angry, confused, but he was back and even though my Bat was devastated by his actions. He was relieved. Happy, even, to have him back, a ghost made flesh again. Unlike his parents, his son came back. For my Bat, I helped their reunion mend their souls, though new cracks appeared. They would eventually mend. There was time. They are mine.

[jinhua-shu]

HIS POINT OF VIEW, Scaramouche/Wanderer x GN!Reader.

PART 1: OVERTHINKING

PART 2: HIS POINT OF VIEW

PART 3: HELPLESS

PART 4: THE AFTER-EFFECT

PART 5: I LOVE YOU DUMMY

@lxkeeeee 🫶

“ Fuck it! ” scaramouche cursed under his breath as he threw his notebook towards the wall, he sighed heavily. why did he have to come into conclusion, that he has fallen for them? every day, every-time they talk to each other his feelings grew. at first he did not mind it, he thought he was being delusional.

but as he realizes it day by day, he knew he fucked up.

He knew, that he shouldn’t fall for Them, because They’ll just leave him.

He knew, that he’s not worth anything, for he got betrayed countless of times.

but he cannot help but hope.. for the chance to have Them be his by side, to heal him and love him.

But when he got that message from you, he was star strucked. he blushed madly as he reacts to the message, before typing in a reply.

“ I need some time to think. “

He closed the chat, feeling giddy. he felt ecstatic, but realization once hits him again. he sat upright on his couch, quite abruptly.

“ What if.. what if.. my bipolar attitude will make them hate me, once we started dating? “ scaramouche bits the inside of his cheek.

“ My moodiness will affect the relationship. “

he sighed before glancing at the ceiling fan.

“ Won’t it hurt them.. if i reject them for such puny excuses? we did talk about the possibility.. of being together… “ He scratches his head in frustration.

“ It’s pathetic to see myself be so self aware of my feelings and actions. i really am pathetic. “

He covers his eyes in shame with his arm, before taking a deep breath.

“ I… hate my feelings.. “

he said before going into slumber.

Two days has passed, he still doesn’t know what to do. he’s confused and frustrated. he simply wanted to have them.. but he cannot. he’s not worthy for their time and effort.

Nahida came knocking on his door with a tray of cookies that she had bought from a supermarket nearby.

“ Hey.. how’re you doing these past few days? Y/N seemed a little down for some time now.. did anything happen? “

she softly said, as she places down the tray on the bedside table. before plopping herself down on Scaramouche’s bed.

“ Leave me alone.. i need some time to think about something. “ scara groans as he covers his head with his pillow.

Nahida sadly chuckles as she stood up from Scara’s bed before heading back to her room.

“ i’m right here if you need anything, i’ll be happy to help you “

As she says those words scara hastily tells her to stop.

“ wait.. nahida.. what do you think i should do? “

Scara looks away as he sat up from his bed.

Nahida watches him in curiosity.

“ Is this about Y/N? “ she asks him, as she walks back towards scaramouche.

Getting no reply from him, she hummed to herself.

“ If you truly like them, why don’t you tell them? or if you’re not ready.. and just want to be just friends for now, tell them that. you can’t let them expect for your return.. you can’t let them wait for you, because it’ll only break them down as the day passes by. “

Nahida pats scara’s head as she smiles softly at him.

“ Don’t let them wait, or don’t let them hope too much. It hurts them. “

Nahida walks away, humming to herself. leaving scara in his room full of thoughts.

Scaramouche looked towards his charging device, before sighing. he took his phone from its charging port, to finally reply to your message.

[luniidae]

~ As Red as Blood ~

Chapter IX

Note: Hi everyone! I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter ✨ I'm always "scared" of making mistakes since I used to write a lot, a long time, and late at night 😂

____________________________________

Luvia still couldn't get out of her room. Most of the time, she lay on her bed, staring blanky, her eyes redden by tears. A lot had happened in a very short time, starting with her physical transformation. She hadn't had time to get used to her new body when someone had already "appropriated" it, in the worst possible way, making her feel like it didn't really belong to her...

She had woken up in her bed, not remembering how she had gotten back to her room. On the other hand, she had certainly not forgotten what Haarlep had done to her the day before. Her body hurt, some places more than others... And there were so many things that she couldn't forget and that played over and over in her head. Like the way they stared at her the whole time, satisfied with the effect they had on her, or how their hands had touched her, scratched her, damaged her to make her feel like nothing more than an object. But what disturbed her even more was how she had felt. If Luvia felt some self-loathing, it was largely due to the fact that she knew nothing about the powers of an incubus. For her, everything she had felt was true, authentic, and the simple idea that she was able to appreciate every second spent in their clutches was enough to make her nauseous. Tears came to her eyes each time, ashamed of not having been able to resist them, betrayed by her own body.

Korilla visited her every day to check if she was alright, she even tried to talk to her, but the young woman did not respond. Luvia didn't want to hear her own voice which was now slightly different, it would have been like acknowledging that everything that had happened so far was real. And she couldn't bear that.

For his part, Raphael still couldn't bring himself to go talk to her. He felt he didn't "need" to do it, and what could he say to her anyway? That he regretted his action? He wasn't sure about this... And even if he did, it wouldn't erase anything that had been done and Luvia would still be hurt no matter what. However, an idea came to him, something that would allow him to establish contact with the young woman without her needing to respond: what about a dress ? The one the Dracanist wore before her transformation was now unwearable, and while it might seem trivial at first, he figured that sending her a new one would be a good way to let her know that he cared about her, in his own way. But this time, he would not use his powers as had been the case until now. No, this time he would call on some sort of “hellish tailors” to have the perfect dress made.

“As dark as the ocean, and as red as blood,” he told them. He also provided them with other details, particularly regarding the materials to be used. Velvet, taffeta, satin... Raphael was a very demanding kind of person and the infernal tailors had to try several times before giving him complete satisfaction.

The next morning, as Luvia gradually emerged from her torpor, she saw a box placed on her dresser. The young woman stood up with difficulty and walked forward slowly, intrigued by this new object. It was a rectangular box, quite flat, a deep red and decorated with a golden ribbon. She opened it, and first discovered a cherry scented card on which a few words were carefully written

"A gift for my little mouse"

Little mouse.... Luvia grimaced. This nickname had a bitter taste since Haarlep had used it too. She put the card down and carefully unwrapped the contents of the box, it was a dress. The fabric was soft and the various seams and embroideries gave a pleasant relief to the touch. She took the dress out of its box and held it in front of her as she looked in the mirror. She gently waved the petticoat to see it better, it was truly a beautiful piece of art. That said, she suddenly felt uncomfortable looking at her own reflection, so she decided to cover the mirror and put the dress back in its box. This strange and unpleasant feeling of not being right in this  body. And when it became too much to bear, Luvia sometimes ended up hurting herself. Her nails were short but sharp, like little claws, and it was not difficult for her to cut her own flesh. Faster, stronger, as if she was absolutely trying to get rid of this new envelope that had already been so bruised.

But as a Dracanist, her regenerative abilities (provided by her horns) made it impossible for her to actually harm herself. No matter how hard she tried, the wounds closed almost immediately. Furthermore, her blood was not flowing normally.

Indeed, the deepest wounds let out some sort of reddish gleams which rose around her before vanishing: blood magic. It was apparently a power unique to her species, but she only knew the theoretical part of it. She couldn't handle the view of her body... A body she considered soiled. No matter how many baths she could take, she still felt like Haarlep was upon her anytime.

It had been three days now since Raphael had sent the dress to Luvia, but the little mouse apparently still hadn't decided to point the tip of her snout. But according to Korilla, she had since started eating again, although it was in small quantities. However, the devil wanted to try a new approach, despite his patience slowly reaching its limits. He decided to have another present made for her, something more meaningful than a dress, more... Personal, and this time, he would bring it to her himself. It had taken a few days to complete, given the meticulous nature of the thing, but he was sure it would elicit a reaction. Raphael didn't imagine having to visit Luvia. The idea had been suggested to him by Korilla some time ago but he had rejected it outright, believing that he didn't have to take the first step and that, in any case, Luvia would eventually come back to him. But that's not what happened, and the cambion was starting to lose patience. This turnaround was only intended to push the young woman to trust him again, or at least that's what he liked to think. In fact, he missed her, in a way. It must be said that Luvia had almost always lived in the House of Hope, and that she and Raphael were used to seeing and interact with each other every day. Exceptionally, Raphael took his human form for this occasion. He remembered Haarlep's satisfied look when they reminded him that it was with his appearance they had tormented her, so he felt that his demonic form wouldn't make a good impression on the young woman.

One day, he came knocking on her door.

“I would have expected a better welcome,” he said calmly since he got no answer.

Suddenly, he heard quick footsteps coming and the door finally opened. Luvia was standing before him, she looked exhausted and emotionless, her red eyes locked on him.

"Greetings, little mouse"

The young woman sadly frowned, it seemed a bit painful to hear this.

"Greetings fa-", she grimaced, "..... Raphael...", she answered with a hint of hesitation, a sad but resigned look on her face.

"It's been a while since we last saw you, and I must admit that the atmosphere in my House of Hope has deteriorated significantly, especially since you decided to confine yourself to one and same room", he paused a few seconds,"So I brought a little something that could, let's say, "help" you in a way...." The cambion handed her a box. It wasn't as large as the dress's one, but it was finely decorated. She took it with slowly and opened it, wondering what it could be and how it could help her. Did he really think he could fix everything with - ... What was that ? There were two golden rings, but they were.... Opened ? And too big for a hand.

Luvia looked up Raphael, intrigued, raising an eyebrow. She didn't understand what she was seeing. The devil chuckled before her confusion.

"It is made of infernal iron, for the most part... Impregnate with a powerful regenerative and conservative magic. Very... Protective, I must say. I had them made especially for you. For your horns".

"I am not sure to understand", she admitted.

"As long as you'll be wearing them, it will help your horns to regrow and they will remain intact and strong. No one will ever be able to do any harm to them, not even me", he said, placing a hand on his chest. 

"So.... Does it mean.... ?", Luvia didn't dare to ask, scared to misunderstand.

"You horns are all yours, forever", he nodded.

If the young woman had expressed little emotion until now, her eyes widened in shock. What Luvia had endured so far was now behind her ? Really ? No one would have to mutilate her ever again ? As she gently closed the box so as not to drop its contents, and as she realized what it meant, her eyes filled with tears and she felt her hands and her legs trembling.

She couldn't speak, so without a word, she threw herself at Raphael, clinging tightly to him as if she feared he would disappear at any second. She burst into tears, releasing everything she had kept for herself for years, all the pain, all the times she would have wanted to be held by him to comfort her, to make her feel safe, loved, to show her she mattered... And all the times she felt so lonely. Her nails digged into his back, but the devil didn't mind. He didn't expect such an emotional reaction but, to be honest, he didn't really know what he was expecting anyway. It was strange to have her so close to him, he could feel her heart beating fast through her ribcage and she didn't seem in the mood to release her grip now. Raphael wasn't sure of what he should do next, but he kind of enjoyed their proximity. He eventually wrapped his arms around her, uncertain, holding her against him while she was still crying.

"I... I am sorry....", she managed to say between a few sobs.

The cambion raised an eyebrow "Sorry ? About what ?"

"I'm crying on your doublet", she answered.

Raphael giggled nervously, "Oh little Mouse...", he said, putting a hand behind her head to stroke her hair until she finally calmed herself down... "Would you join me later for the dinner ? You must be starving after all these days...", he proposed softly.

The young woman kept holding him tight and simply nodded against him. She looked like a woman but in the end, she was still a young girl, still craving for attention and love. She needed him, and no matter how much she had been hurt by his words, and by the fact he abandoned her in the Boudoir, she couldnt help herself but love him. She didn't know why but that was how she felt. Her grip softened and Raphael caught her shoulders to make her move back and look at her, swiping away a few tears of her cheeks.

"Oh look at you...", he cupped her face in his hands, "Don't waste this pretty face of yours with those tears, shall you ?"

She nodded shyly.

"Perfect, little Mouse"

"Can i ask you something?", she managed to say.

"Anything, my dear", he listened carefully.

"Could you.... Stop calling me this ? Please", she asked, avoiding his gaze.

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her demande but he accepted it.

"As you wish... Luvia", he paused for a few seconds before adding, "Would you like me to use another name, perhaps... ?"

"I don't know", she admitted, "It's just.... I don't want to be a mouse anymore..."

"Alright then"

His serious gaze softened, "Anyway, I'll be waiting for you to dinner later. I hope to see you there" He smiled at her but she couldn't know if he was sincere or not.

Once he was gone, she felt.... Empty. That was a very strange feeling. These few moments spent with him felt like a peaceful bubble in the spikes of her sorrow.

By the way, she examined the objects he gave to her earlier and took one of the rings out of its box. It was made of iron but it felt incredibly light, it has a golden color and was decorated by carved infernal winged creature, but among them, there was a smallest one... A little mouse.

Of course there was...

The view of this gave her a unpleasant sensation and a comforting feeling at the same time. She'll always be his little mouse.... But she decided to not pay attention to this detail. She placed herself in front of her mirror to uncovered it and took a deep breath seeing her own face. She brought an open ring to one of her horns, the longer one. Once the jewelry was close enough, it instinctively wrapped itself around it. It was strange to see a solid object moving with such flexibility, but the sensation was surprisingly agreeable.... It almost felt like a tender embrace, warm and comforting, it almost brought new tears to her already watery eyes. She found it hard to fully realize that her horns would never be mistreated again, and deep down she hoped that her whole being would never be again as well. She took a moment to admire herself once the two rings were on her head. 

Meanwhile, in the corridors, Raphael was walking confidently, satisfied of the effect his present had on Luvia. He was determined to have her back, since he needed her powers, but he was also feeling "relieved". He met Korilla.

She looked at him, knowing where he was coming from and noticing his smug look.

"Is everything fine, Master ?", she dared to ask.

"We will see her today", he answered as he kept walking.  

The dwarf couldn't help herself but slightly smiled, relieved but intrigued by her boss's methods. 

Later this day, at dinner time, the large table was full of various and appealing dishes, and the scent of this was positively divine. It would have been hard to resist such a feast...

As stealthy and silent as a shadow, Luvia appeared at the entrance of the room. Her lips were tinted of a dark cherry color, just as her eyes, her gaze accentuated by a black trait at the end of her eyes. She was wearing the golden rings around her horns and these looked far more healthy already. But she was also wearing her new dress.... As dark as the ocean and as red as blood.

Raphael, who was already here, tilted his head to observe her coming, an astonished look on his face.

"Who is this beautiful creature who honor us with her presence", he said warmly, "My dear, you look perfect. I always knew the velvet would suit you"

Luvia wasn't expecting such reaction. Actually, she couldn't understand being seen as "beautiful", or "perfect", or anything such. The pale skin of her face slightly pinked at this compliment, making the devil smirk. She finally took place at the table, at her usual place. She had spent so much time in her bedroom that this place looked almost unfamiliar to her now.  

"Enjoy, my sweet"

During dinner, the cambion couldn't help but scrutinize the young woman from time to time out of the corner of his eye. Although she was the same, he felt like there was another person in front of him, one who had nothing to do with the crying, miserable girl he had seen earlier in the day. Luvia had a confident, almost playful look, but a hint of sadness in her eyes betrayed her. Raphael was almost impressed by how easily she concealed her emotions.

However, a spark of determination suddenly crossed her eyes, and she began to stare at the devil. She seemed to have something to ask...

"Hm? Is something troubling you, my dear?", he raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"It's about blood magic, I'd like to learn more about it, and I'm not talking about the theory", there was no hesitation in her voice, as if she expected no less from him that he accepts.

"Hm, that's a subject we weren't supposed to study this early....", he replied seriously, resting his chin on one of his hands.

"I thought we could speed things up, since I don't have to 'pretend' to be an adult anymore... As you said", she answered.

Raphael gave her a smile, he remembered these words well, "you won't have to pretend any longer", that's what he had told her before leaving her in the Boudoir.

"Very well, little one, if that's really what you want.... We'll start your practical training tomorrow then. But for now, let's just enjoy the evening, would you ?"

Luvia nodded and did her best to not let it show anything, but there was a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She couldn't wait to show him she was more than just a little mouse..

To be continued...

Bonus:

[v-arbellanaris]

on divine justinia

Justinia V will be remembered as one of the most progressive Divines in the history of the Chantry. Before her untimely death at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, she made strides to break down barriers for both mages and elves, as well as encouraging free thought among the Maker’s many children. For her views, she won as many enemies as she did supporters.

-- World of Thedas Vol 2.

PART ONE of a series, exploring Divine Justinia’s political stance. Was she really as progressive as people claimed?

Firstly, before we even dive into any analysis, we should define the word ‘progressive’. In the most base of definitions, it implies progress -- a gradual betterment. As a widely accepted definition, someone whose politics advocate for social reform. 

PART ONE - LELIANA'S SONG. / PART TWO - DRAGON AGE II. / PART THREE - THE MASKED EMPIRE.

Leliana’s Song DLC

This is where we first meet the future Divine Justinia V. We first meet her as Revered Mother Dorothea; she appears literally as a salvation to Leliana in her darkest hour, after Marjolaine has betrayed her, after Raleigh has tortured and beaten her. To make the metaphor even more glaringly obvious, we don’t even see her face at first, we hear her voice and see her as a glowing light coming down from a ceiling in a blank room. She’s clearly being painted as a ray of hope for Leliana, some sense of salvation -- (I’m very much getting the Maker helps those who helps themselves vibe from it) -- and when Leliana finally “gets” to her, she tells Leliana she’s safe. 

It’s important to keep in mind that this is what Dorothea means to Leliana. This is what Leliana sees and thinks about when she’s talking to and interacting with Dorothea. To Leliana, Dorothea is hope and safety, sympathy and compassion, and ultimately, a path to salvation. 

And though she may be those things to Leliana on a personal level, these traits have little impact on Dorothea's politics, which are influenced by the Grand Game and specifically how well a person can play it. This is made especially salient in the next scene.

Dorothea tells Leliana that she came to Ferelden without permission in order to fix her mistakes. The mistake she’s referring to is giving Marjolaine the papers containing Orlesian intel, which were then used to frame and implicate Leliana. It’s implied that this was the result of a seduction on Marjolaine’s part.

When Leliana questions whether Dorothea is trying to get her to steal the documents back, Dorothea denies it, just barely -- but then admits that there is “unfinished business” with Marjolaine, equating the documents she gave to Marjolaine with Leliana’s feelings of hurt and betrayal. She suggests that Leliana might want to get revenge for being “hurt so dearly” and offers to provide both Marjolaine and Raleigh’s location. She suggests that Leliana “help Orlais, and yourself”. At the same time, she claims that she doesn’t want Leliana to cause more harm to people, and yet, who was it that sends Leliana after Marjolaine in the first place? Who was it that sends Leliana to fetch the papers in the first place? With what Leliana just went through, Dorothea likely has no illusions about what Leliana is capable of -- or what she might want to do to Marjolaine, in the name of vengeance. In fact, Dorothea specifically addresses those feelings in order to convince Leliana to "help" both of them. Sending someone capable of murder -- with the motivation to kill -- after Marjolaine after tritely telling them that you don't want them to hurt more people...

Is she giving Leliana a chance do better or does she simply... not care what happens to Marjolaine as long as she gets the documents back?

This is the darkest moment of Leliana’s life. And though Dorothea shows great sympathy for Leliana’s feelings, despite her words, the actions she suggests essentially use Leliana against Marjolaine, all the while playing it off as though she doesn’t really need Leliana’s help, and this isn’t really about her at all, but it’s about Leliana’s emotions and struggles. But getting the papers back benefits Dorothea. The papers could be thrown into the sea or destroyed but Dorothea specifically pushes Leliana to retrieve them, in such a way that makes it look like that’s not what she’s asking for at all.

As Leliana, we get to quiz Dorothea and we get to see some insight into Dorothea herself. She calls the Ferelden rebellion “the Orlesian-Ferelden war” and states “Many on both sides have been reluctant to abandon the hatreds of that conflict.” 

The “conflict” she’s referring to is, of course, the Orlesian occupation of Ferelden and Ferelden fighting back against that occupation. Ferelden was colonised -- I struggle to understand how the violent occupation of a nation can be equated to resisting such oppression. But, I suppose that’s typical Chantry rhetoric that we see often; we see similar commentary about any state sanctioned/Chantry sanctioned violence against elves, such as the Exalted Marches, and, later, about the mage rebellion. Dorothea does inextricably link what’s bad for Orlais to what’s bad for the Chantry; unsurprising, considering the Andrastian Chantry is used to prop up Orlesian imperialism (read here for this thought provoking meta by mllemaenaed!).

Leliana asks what happens to all the people who followed her out of the dungeon. Dorothea says that some will be turned over to the city guard, presumably of Denerim where the story is set. Dorothea does state that some of them have more than paid for their petty crimes/ The "some of them" she's referring to specifically is Silas, who wants to join the Chantry. Ah yes, the sign of true repentance... and I suppose that everyone else just isn’t sorry enough? Or being tortured and/or sexually assaulted by Raleigh and his men somehow isn’t enough to pay for petty crimes? Hmm...

Conclusions, so far:

Her politics so far don't seem to be progressive -- the implications that Marjolaine seduced her (and thus, she has an active sex life) is perhaps a bit taboo for a priest, but her politics themselves don't necessarily seem progressive at this point.

She believes those who turn to the Chantry have truly repented, but others who do not, have not. She paints the Ferelden rebellion as a two-sided conflict, rather than an acknowledgement of Orlais as a hostile colonising force in Ferelden. None of these beliefs are progressive -- they're standard beliefs of Orlais and the Orlesian Chantry.

She's aware Leliana is a criminal here, but a criminal with uses, someone she can leverage against Marjolaine -- and she does, with devastating effect. Dorothea sends Leliana after Marjolaine fully aware that it could result in Marjolaine's death -- and is either naively hopeful about the result or entirely apathetic. She plays the Game and she plays it well -- well enough to survive having sold out Orlais, well enough to manipulate Leliana into working for her for the next ten years.

This is a master of the Grand Game.

Silas: What about you? Leliana: Me? Nobody cares what I want. Silas: You should.

[lovelyrocker]

Consequences Part 2

RPF

Warnings: Talk of Cheating, STD, Language, Angst, 

Parings: Timothee Chalamet x Reader

Word Count: 1,244

Two weeks was how long you had to wait for the test results to come in. Timothee and you both got tested for every other STD it was possible to get tested for safe measures. He’d only known the extra for several days before he’d slept with her. Not long to know where and who someone had been with. 

Your home was cold the last few weeks. Timothee had been staying in the guest room. You didn't talk to one another aside from one or two words here and there. You could hardly look at him. All of the feeling and rage that you thought you’d pushed aside when you found out he cheated was filling you now. Yes, when you found out he cheated you cried and was pissed. But those feelings quickly faded when you saw how much his actions were eating him alive. You saw that it really was a mistake and he learned from it. You had no doubt that he would never do that again.

Now you were enraged that he could even think of cheating, even if he was drunk. You were betrayed and so hurt. And now, you are terrified of having this disease. This constant reminder of someone else’s careless actions. Someone who was supposed to love, take care of you, keep you safe.

You both sat in the doctor’s office in front of the desk, waiting for him to come into the room. Waiting, more waiting. Timothee’s leg bounced with anxiety. He fiddled with his fingers as he absentmindedly looked around the office. He was scared. But unlike all the other times you would hold him and assure him it would be okay, you didn’t. Because you didn’t know. You weren’t even sure you were going to stay with him after this. Deep down he knew that, too.

The door opened, making both of you jump as the doctor walked in. “Good morning.” The doctor said cheerfully. It made you roll your eyes. “I have both your test results here.” He said placing two folders on his desk. He looked up at the two of you. “Are you sure you want to do this together? Normally we do this separately.”

“We’re sure.” Timothee answered, rubbing the palms of his hands nervously on his jean clad knees.

“Alright then,” He opens the file. “We’ll start off with Ms. Y/L/N.” He looks over the paper in his hand. You’re holding on to your bag tightly, heart racing. “All of your STD panels came back negative.” You and Timothee both exhale in relief as the doctor’s eyes scan the page. “No HIV or anything like that.” He looks up at you. “You are a little anemic so I would make sure you get more iron in you. You can get over the counter supplements.” 

You nod your head. “Okay.” You take another breath. “Is that all?”

“Yeah. You are a very healthy young lady.” He placed the paper into the folder and grabs Timothee’s. “Now Mr. Chalamet.” He lifts the page out of the manilla folder. “Your STD panel came back inconclusive.” 

“Inconclusive? What does that mean?” You ask before Timothee can open his mouth. 

“Most of your results came back negative.” The doctor explains. “But Your HIV results aren’t clear.”

You reach over, taking Timothee’s hand, entwining your fingers. He squeezed you hand with both of his. “So, what do we do?” You ask, looking at the doctor.

“We will do another blood draw. Retest.” The doctor looks at Timothee. “I’ll be honest with you,” His hand tightens around yours. “You have some abnormalities with your white blood cell count. Have you been sick lately?”

Timothee shakes his head. “Just tired. With my work, I-I-”

“You could just be overworked.” The doctor looks over the page again. “I don’t want to take any chances. We will do another blood draw and run a few other tests.” The doctor closes the folder. “Do you have any questions?”

Timothee swallows hard and looks at you then back to the doctor. “Can you not sugar coat it?” He says finding his voice. “What are the odds I'm infected?”

The doctor takes a breath, removing his glasses. “It is harder for a woman to give it to a man, but you admit to not using protection. All it takes is one time.” He exhales again. “But your white blood cell count shows something is going on. The results do align with being infected, yes.” You felt Timothee go rigid. “Even though you haven’t passed it to Y/N doesn’t mean you are in the clear. But these results can mean a dozen other things as well. Is it probable because you were exposed, yes. Is it 100% positive, no.” 

“When does he get retested?” You ask.

“Right now.” The doctor stands. “Follow me and I’ll show you to the lab.”

You hold his hand as you follow the doctor and watch him squint when the nurse sticks the needle into his arm. You drive back to the apartment, Timothee showing no sign of emotions the entire drive. He doesn’t talk or even look your way. He doesn’t comment about your results or even look away from the car window. 

When you got home, he walked into the apartment and straight to the guest room. You followed him, opening the bedroom door. He was laying in the bed, back to the door. You didn’t say anything. You crawled into the bed behind him and wrapped your arms around him. The moment you embraced him he broke. The tears fell down his face as he sobbed hysterically. You didn’t say a thing, just held him. Timothee cried until he had nothing left in him. No tears, no energy to let his body be wracked with his own fear and self-loathing. 

When he finally calmed, he just laid there with no emotion on his face. You still stayed silent. You just let him know you were still there by holding him tight, as close as you could. 

The room had been quiet for a long time, you thought he’d fallen asleep. You were surprised when you heard his voice groggily speak. “I’m sorry.” He says, barely audible. “I’m sorry I fucked everything up.” He turns in your arms and his eyes are puffy and red. He looks exhausted. You fight the tears that you know he can see fill your eyes. “We were supposed to be together forever. Just you and me. We were supposed to have a family and grow old in the city.” He begins to cry again. “I messed it all up and I am so fucking sorry.”

You pull him till your foreheads meet. “Shh.” You whisper. “Stop it.” You wipe away his tears. “You’re not alone.” I pull him close, tucking his head beneath my chin. “I’m here, with you.” You kiss the top of his head. “I’m not going anywhere.” You feel him hold you tighter.

You could feel the fear pulsing through him. Before you were ready to leave Timothee, to let him and his cheating self, deal with the consequences of his action on his own, all alone. Which was how you felt when he first cheated. Alone.

In your arms now were the broken pieces of the love of your life. And there was no way in hell you were going to leave him alone. No matter what.

Part 3

[thirstyfortaglines]

This was supposed to be hornier (a.k.a. gorier) but I got distracted

0.6k self indulgent word vomit. Mentions of blood. That Rorschach 4th anniversary card has me unwell in a good way.

Needed to get this out before we had any actual information on what happens in that card lmao

The cause of his lightheadedness could be attributed to many things. Hypotension from blood loss, intense pain from the thorns digging through his skin into his thighs, the shards embedded in his palm that dug into the crystalline floor below and pinned him in place, there were a variety of possibilities. On the forefront of his mind however was the girl rather precariously perched atop him, one of her hands splayed across his chest for stability as she rode his writhing body. After all, just the sight of her was enough to halt his breath.

Her expression was one of picturesque serenity, eyes closed and relaxed as she once again tugged at the collar of thorns around his neck. The sharp pain pierced through the hazy numbness that had begun to envelope him, eliciting a hiss of pain. The constriction didn't allow for him to inhale comfortably, much less enough to muster up a complaint. Not that he would have any in this situation regardless.

Pleasure and hedonism were drugs one quickly grew accustomed to. The ephemerality of the joy brought about by success was only worth savoring when it was wrought with one's own hands from the flames of suffering. Most would look on and see his position, his success and status, as a privilege, but it only served to chain him further than the briary bindings that presently parted his tender skin.

Looking up at the girl with unfocused eyes, Rorschach ever so naturally forced a cocky smile upon his lips and made a halfhearted attempt to strike her with the dagger clutched in his uninjured hand. Years of knowing her had given him enough familiarity to be able to elicit the exact reactions he desired. Sure enough, before he had even raised his arm more than a few inches off the ground, she had sensed his movements and slammed him back against the ground.

Her gaze met his as her eyes finally opened with annoyance, revealing a disruption to her serene demeanor.

His pulse bounded in his ears as her movements had only tightened the vines, restricting his breathing further and digging into his flesh more tightly. More of his blood dripped onto the crystalline floor which reflected the scene above, now stained with a crimson hue. Disheveled, bleeding, and begging for her attention, for her pain, he felt he must have looked pathetic. However, he was satisfied. The feeling of something new, sharp, something he would never tire of, it was addicting.

Under her touch, the weight of the cold metal that rested upon his head melted away and he became nothing more than a desperate bleeding man, perversely seeking any sensation she would provide him. His position, his successes, his talents, they meant nothing in this place with just the two of them.

Blackness crept into his vision as he struggled to breathe, his body naturally fighting against her in a desperate attempt to survive despite the fact his mind knew well she would never kill him.

Whatever was left of a heart did ache within his chest when he was always met with her continual indifference, her happiness and joy already tied to someone else she would never see again. It always hurt, but this disappointment was satisfying. It was better than the endless void of pleasure he could no longer perceive, of meaningless successes and hollow praise.

Perhaps in another world with another him, the bloodied hand that came to brush his cheek would be clean and the cold floor that sapped away at his strength would be warm sheets. She would look at him, smile at him, lean into his touch when he softly called for his little girl before pushing him down onto the bed.

Her stained fingers pulled away from his cheeks, her expression betraying disgust. Not with him, but with herself and her own actions. The red on her hands had lightened to a saturated pink.

The girl's demeanor hadn't softened at all, but rather it looked like she had steeled herself to whatever she had seen on his face. He wasn't quite sure as the darkness became ever more consuming, unaware of the tears that flowed down his cheeks, her fingers having traced their path to brush them away instinctively.

~~~

Anyways the game plan was that he'd wake up, she'd still be pissed at him for being able to get a tender-ish reaction out of her, and they'd try to kill each other and it ends with Rorschach freeing his hand that's pinned to the ground by tearing the tendons and bones and using the surprise to pull her down and kiss her and it's at that point he realizes he's crying.

Optionally they fuck nasty afterwards and she rides him until he's overstimulated and can't even cry anymore and then holds his head to her chest after he passes out again and runs her fingers through his hair that's all mess up with sweat and blood and ponders where everything went horribly wrong.

[faebriel]

Hi! Just read the hadestown au piece and I just wanted to say it was so gorgeous and heartbreaking at the same time.

I was wondering if you could say a little more about the au? Maybe some stuff about how everything plays out following where the fic ends (I know how Hadestown ends, just mean in the au terms) and obviously the walk out of the underworld (and Wilbur’s reaction)

O/

hi anon!! first of all i am so SO glad you enjoyed the fic <3 thank you so much, and thank you for the question as well!!

as for the rest of the au - well, the recap in the notes kind of summarises the first part. and niki finds wilbur, and fights schlatt, and gets dumped outside the walls, and goes to sleep.

the person who finds her, actually, is ranboo - for someone so goddamn lanky they're not bad at finding their way around hadestown unnoticed, and they've heard about niki from techno and phil back in the pit. he's the one who wakes her up. niki is still despairing and angry when she wakes, and turns to go - but ranboo, hopefully, asks her if she's the person techno and phil told them about, if she is the crack in the wall.

and niki is furious and hurting, still, but she doesn't entirely have the stomach to leave when ranboo is staring at her like this -> 🥺

so she follows him as far as the fighter's pit. and passes more people who recognise her, and whisper, and stare - people who heard about her the same way ranboo did, or people who saw That Fucking Display on the railway. not only did she care for the strangers here, but she stood up to schlatt (emotionally and physically lol). not only was she brave, but she was kind, too. and when guards pass, people offer to hide her. and people wish her well on her journey.

she reunites with techno, and, god damn - look around. techno really does think that with the people behind them, with quackity behind them (he could recognise a god's handiwork anywhere, and niki's guitar is so obviously mended by godly hands), they might actually have a chance at tearing schlatt down long enough to escape to freedom. forever free from governments what have you. and niki is bitter about wilbur, but she is still twice as furious with schlatt - so sure. gather the people, free the end. beat him at his own game. they charge the centre of the city

meanwhile, quackity and schlatt are getting into an absolute shitfit about this whole thing. ohhhh you're betraying me for some stupid mortal country why don't you like MY country huh WELL maybe if you weren't so AWFUL TO ME i would LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU etc etc etc. and quackity looks outside and he hears the distant sound of guitar and he's like oh. oh, shit. oh, thank god. they actually did it

while all this is happening, wilbur is continuing his no good very bad afterlife on the railway line, right in the centre of the city. wilbur is not really great with manual labour to begin with, if we're totally honest - he can build a house, or an office, but it's not how he likes to spend his time, and especially not in a place so grey and featureless and devoid of feeling or, well, life. and he's feeling quite horrible about the fact that not only do his friends mourn him, just as he hoped they might not, but niki came all the way down here for him. and she got hurt, because of him. it's a nightmare, but one in which he has signed over absolutely any power he had to affect the outcome.

phil finds him. security is getting kind of lax around hadestown. they talk about life, and death, and getting demoted from being the messenger between those two worlds because you got a bit too mouthy with the boss. it kind of puts things into perspective.

wilbur still doesn't regret sending niki away, because he knows he's trapped, but he regrets pretty much every other wasted second.

fortunately for him, niki is currently swept up in the crowd making its way straight to the heart of hadestown. techno is living up every second. oh, he has missed revolutionary action. techno is the righteous anger, ranboo is the soft-spoken follow-up, and niki is both. oh, wow, the four of them really make a charming matched set, don't they. almost like a syndicate okay i'm not gonna be coy look it's the syndicate

they make it to the heart. schlatt's really not happy. but man, he's in the mood to emotionally crush some hippies so - you want to sing and dance your way through my country? quackity sure thinks that little anthem you lot keep twittering on about is something special. so sing a song for me! make me laugh! make me WEEP! go on, if you think you're so special. sing it.

so niki sings the anthem.

okay. niki plays the anthem, and she sings it too, but she's one person and she hates this much scrutiny and her voice is failing even as she sings - and then, a voice pipes up from the crowd, someone who already knows all the words.

and wilbur sings it like he believes it, too. and in that moment, niki (tells herself) that she forgives every awful thing that happened between them since he took that train.

the melody is not hard to pick up. two voices become a dozen, become a hundred. (techno hums obligingly because okay, he doesn't love the symbol of the revolution being a country's anthem, but these things are kind of hard to change once they get rolling and he can sit most of these people down for a class on anarchism later - )

and schlatt gets emotional over this for three whole seconds. oh, three seconds is enough for wilbur and niki to reunite with more hugging and more tears and more apologies this time, and for quackity to reminisce about their pasts, and for him to think more about his country than he has in the last thousand years combined. and then he hates niki even more for it. oh, he respects the hustle. but also he despises the hustle.

so, fine: you want to get out of hadestown so badly, then? well. let's not make it easy for you. here is the age-old catch - wilbur can leave. but niki must walk ahead, and cannot look behind until the two of them have returned to the mortal world.

oh, he adds, and, wilbur - of course, if you change your mind, you're welcome back in hadestown. shit, you might have just earned yourself a promotion back here. if spring is coming again, i might just need someone to help lead down here.

and wilbur scoffs, as if i could ever do that!

and niki holds her breath beside him.

because leading hadestown - a domain over a country of citizens who cannot starve, and cannot die. without having to worry about mortal things ever again. isn't that exactly what wilbur would want? and he already left for less. he already left her for less.

so hadestown gathers. oh, yeah, they're coming too - they heard l'manberg's anthem, of course (or some of them heard techno's anarchist diatribes against governments and are quite excited to lead a life without rulers. it depends). there is niki, there is wilbur behind her, and she walks for a while and he walks for a while and they all walk for a while, and after that while niki calls out to him, but there is no response.

brief pandemonium.

schlatt's rigged it, you see - niki can't see wilbur. but now she can't hear him, either. can't let them go without one last trick. the crowd will have to guide her instead.

Niki takes a trembling step forward. "Got eyes on him, Niki," Techno calls from behind. A quiet laugh ripples through the crowd.

so they keep walking.

and walking...

and eventually, the crowd falls silent too. and doubt comes in.

it's been hours - beyond hours, beyond days - and niki hasn't heard a thing. there is no music, no bubbling of voices behind her, no shuffling of feet. for all she knows, wilbur turned back and left. for all she knows, everyone else gave up and followed him. why wouldn't they? they don't know where they're going. she barely knows where she's going. right back into the cold, and dark, right at the edge of winter - and who is she to lead them? niki isn't a god, or a muse's son, or a president or a tyrant - she's a baker, for gods' sake. her best friend died and her heart is still broken because of it. is that the kind of person who can lead a country's worth of people out of hadestown? it can't be. it can't be.

and none of that matters, because who cares who would and wouldn't follow her out of hadestown - wilbur wouldn't. he couldn't. he couldn't even follow her home when the alternative was literally dying. of course he would take up schlatt's offer. it's perfect for him. he already made his choice. he already chose his side. and he didn't choose her.

Niki staggers over the next crest, outlined in the bronze and gold of sunrise - painting a sharp, bright glow round every stray strand of hair, round the guitar scuffed and restrung across her back, round the shape of her trembling fists, pressing themselves tight against her sides. And she stops. "Does she look okay to you?" Technoblade mumbles, at Phil's shoulder. "It's a long walk," Phil responds. He is entirely too quiet for Wilbur's liking. Technoblade looks just as displeased with the answer as he is, and turns to Wilbur. "She normally good at walking?" She doesn't look well. She shakes - Niki, solid, steadfast in Wilbur's eye, never trembles. Her shoulders sink, and for a moment that rends his heart from his chest, Wilbur thinks she might be crying, and he's driving his nails into the flesh of his palms in matching fists before he can stop himself (because there is nothing he can do, silent, even if it's the exactly what Niki would scold him for). But all he hears are sharp, laboured breaths. Her boots rest at the edge of shadow. Niki stares down at them, edges blurring and warping, the sunlight crawling towards the tips of her toes - so, so close. She sang the song. Spring is almost here. She is almost home. But she can't bear walking home alone. Is he there? is all she can think. Is he - And she turns.

not to break the immersion, but - in hadestown, orpheus cannot bring himself to trust hades, and thus he turns. here is a bit different. niki doesn't trust schlatt, but she turns because she can't bring herself to trust wilbur anymore.

the crowd surges forward into the sunlight. surrounded by the flood of people, all niki can do is stare at wilbur - who, mere steps behind her, looks just as exhausted and filthy and heartbroken as she does.

and then he's gone.

-

i could never really decide how i wanted this fic to end.

the foundation is there. the people of hadestown swarm past niki, into the sunlight. quackity steps off the train. niki sinks to her knees, and phil puts a hand on her back, and techno and ranboo stand there hovering beside her because something really bad just happened and they don't know what to say.

tommy, tubbo, fundy and jack emerge from the ravine, shouting in glee as the crowd reveals itself as friend, not foe. tommy searches desperately for niki in the crowd. finally, he finds her, knelt on the ground. he knows before she turns to him, face streaked with tears. tubbo follows, and then shakes himself out of whatever grief-induced stupor his brain is trying to slip into - president of l'manberg, he turns to the nearest gangly teenager and starts ordering him around with piles of quilts for the country's newest residents. fundy and jack crowd around niki, and niki holds them as close as she can.

many ex-residents of hadestown settle into the ravine - the very one that niki spent hours carving rooms and gardens and homes into, in that slim space of time between losing l'manberg and losing wilbur. the others wander. i don't think niki stays. i think she fumbles around the ravine for a while, helping people settle in, but she doesn't feeling like she's really doing much. she's made a minister of the new government, but she can't bring herself to care.

i could never decide if i wanted l'manberg to go down with wilbur. it was already besieged enough without setting two godly anarchists (and their bffls) on it. and this time, i really do think niki would be the one to turn away. it wouldn't be surprising if it didn't survive another winter.

it feels a little cruel, but orpheus' story is cruel, too. do wilbur and niki meet decades later, in a peaceful afterlife? i don't know that either. i'll leave that part for you to figure out.

and here's a link to the fic if anyone missed it 🌹

[maryacore]

okay would be too bad if i let this rot on pdb so longread on why emperor belos isn't an isfj (with some good old character analysis sprinkled in)

starting point here is that i type him as an istj sx1w2sp 146 but i'm too lazy to explain the sx1 part rn so let's focus on istj vs isfj. disclaimer everything i that say is my personal opinion and reading of the character.

first off i don't se him exhibiting aux fe at all as fe cares about the relationships and obligations, its main function being basically to pick up on the behaviours of people around and help dom si relate to them more effectively (to not get stuck up in the systems it builds). i agree that the "poor self-awareness" aspect that people usually attribute to fe is definitely there, but for me it's rather about the struggle of tert fi. aux te seems more probable to me because his general approach to life is less focused on people and more focused on plans, him openly admitting that he lied to people once his plan comes into the next stage where he doesn't need to uphold the lie anymore and failing to take into account how those people might react to having been deceived is one example of that. also te's quick spur of the moment actions and reactions in dealing with people (him to hunter in hollow mind and to collector+kikimora in king's tide as prominent examples), again - more concerned with the best outcome for the plan at all times and not hesitant to discard people he normally sees as valuable assets (and maybe, in case with hunter, even feels some emotional attachment towards) just for it to work in the long run, and fixation on long-term goals to an unhealthy extent where literally no hardship that the unfamiliar and hostile outside world poses and no inner emotional turmoil (of confusion, anger, spite, guilt, maybe something along the lines of bitter nostalgia as well) can stop him from pursuing them (him weaving for himself this net of delusion, hypocrisy and god complex, relying on si and te to develop it further through the survival- and goal-oriented routine and way of life, not giving himself a moment of time to assess how he really feels about all this, and fi getting squashed into the annoying voice in the back of the head, the one of little philip crying for his brother to come back).

and as for him "wanting to harmonize everyone/for everyone to share his values" take, i don't think this is a case at all due to the fact that him being a prophet was not the plan all along, he thrust himself in this position when he realized that this way he could achieve his goal of exterminating the realm (+ i feel like he enjoyed the aspect of it where he, an enlightened human being, ruled over this unholy savage mass and brought order into their wretched meaningless lives). and, surprise, te users can also feign being nice to people and read people's behaviour/soft spots to manipulate them, the absence of fe being evident especially as him "relating" to people always comes from a very personal place, he's chronically unable to see different perspectives rather than his own, and all his "what people want to hear" lies and almost-truths are pretty half-baked and fall apart the moment it stops being convenient for him to keep lying.

also, the way i see it, he doesn't actually want to "save humanity from evil" as much as to a) destroy the place that took his brother from him and b) prove himself/be seen as a hero and obtain some authority in an abusive environment he came from (which functioned in an "eat or be eaten" fashion), though this is one more of the lies he tells himself - that he fights for a cause, that there's a noble purpose to what he plans on doing, and that the whole thing doesn't stem from a place of him feeling deeply hurt and betrayed. the "can't reason with crazy" moment goes here as well btw - the way i see his character, it's less about him looking down on luz as she doesn't understand his logic and much more about him dismissing her point of view altogether, refusing to admit that he is, in fact, an evil monster, and that he did this to himself in the first place, turning himself into something even worse than a witch (which, the fact that he doesn't realize this and clings onto his humanity until the very end in itself is a very te-ish "us vs them" mindset, where "we" are inherently good and "they" are inherently evil, as opposed to fe that would try to understand the "enemy force" and get into the details of how their minds function and what they care about) as a consequence of him being unable to let go of what he sees as the boiling isles leading his brother astray and taking away the only family he had, indirectly leading to him killing caleb. basically tldr to that is deep down he doesn't actually believe that what he's doing has a noble purpose, so tert ti isn't really plausible either.

of course he's a multifaceted personality and i haven't even touched on the grimwalkers here but umm there's that.

[lightcreators]

@lunaetis

Affectionate gestures always came with playfulness. Of course, usually, he appreciated offering with childhish and innocent features once he desired welcoming warm towards someone else --- as lack of seriousness and realization concerning the need of the other end would making things easier … with an sensation to have an kid pampering an adult or someone close to his age emotional barriers naturally lowered down. Though, sadly, he never learned to actually accepting easily to been flattered with the same sensation of sweetness, especially when he didn't feel he did something explaining the gesture --- His most beloved patient in which he would complaining for hours about how offended he was by indirect reflection he had been receiving of himself … had received all possible support coming from him … and even within circumstances in which he wasn't fine, he didn't let his patient to flatter him with needed reassurance. Even how emotionally hurt he had remained, to had been forgotten all the same, in which memories of another timeline hadn't reached the current one, and in which, a ghost, a real ghost, truly apologized about how circumstances had been and had been proud of him --- but could rarely touch him, rarely acting as the protective presence he always had been, who remained that ancient existence, which tragically, ressurection had to been reached inside an unsolved riddle. Warmness of the hug of behind pushing behind all these missed moments he could have received of his tutor. An affectionate guardian who always had to find other way to expressing how happy, considerate, compassionate, protective, and affectional he had been towards his person --- most likely sometimes by offering some surprises, often by receiving compliments he pretended usually not to listen … where regardless hundreds of years together from his tutor's view, an hug never had been made between each other. He was the one noticing where his tutor expressed other shades of expressions, since he cannot be fooled --- but often, he was facing paradoxes of his own emotions, and always had the gentleness to spite on the main concerned as a way to accepting to be called out. Even if it's wasn't the first time Eden offering him random affections, surprised expression didn't changed --- though, that time around, how his heartbeat inscreased in the moment had been the first move of his body, before his expression be welcomed with an discrete blush. He could sense amusement fullfilled her, and, since he was still catching up off-guard, he smiled a little, fullfilled of brightness.

He sensed for one instant his breath inscreased a little inside echo of his ears as her face touched slowly his neck, where he didn't really mind to be smelled. In consequence, his crimson face didn't know what to do ! There was something terribly touching about that place of his body --- as another, but he won't talk about it, never talk about it --- representation about how an ending will be eventually made, remembrance of something distant as an vague memory from an long time ago where an mark would be present … For a short moment, he remained unsure if another emotion born outside of that silenced panic, that uncontrollable emotion showing up in front of closeness --- He never was sorry where he was the one doing that gesture, offering vampire metaphors or some kind of games --- but he cannot helped to having sensation of intimacy once he received it. Gratefully, since he had been understood circumstances quickly, he had been anticipating her action, in which he playfully smiled --- able to distracting himself about the small sensation of pain, in which an kind of moan still betrayed his lips. Over that term she used, an giggle exploded by itself, as his expression was embarassing ! ❝ Is this a souvenir about belonging to you ? ~ ❞ From his lips, his innuendos had scent of an innocent naivety which was playful, without seriousness, symbol of flattery ! ❝ As an remembrance how yours I am, huh ? ~ A whim of your possessiveness, my dear ☆? ❞

[13uswntimagines]

The Choice (USWNT/Reader)

This wasn’t requested, but it’s an angsty blurb i’ve had in my drafts for forever. Technically I envisioned this as a Lindsey/R but I never actually mentioned her, so feel free to think it’s about whoever you want. Requests are still open, so send me some ideas if you want. 

You watched as the words fell out of her mouth with ease, past her beautiful lips unknowing of the weight they carried. Each blindly innocent syllable slicing easily into your resolve. Your hands shook with unplaced rage and the pressure behind your eyes became nearly intolerable.

You frantically searched for the right words to convey the unintentional pain every bowel she sounded out was inflicting on your very soul. You wanted to scream and yell that it wasn’t fair. That you gave her your all, and still she threw you away as though you were nothing. That you deserved better than being left on a whim.

The little voices in your mind battled for your attention. One claimed that you couldn’t be mad at someone for not understanding the consequences of their actions, while the other argued that she would never know if you didn’t tell her.

But your mouth remained closed, hindered by your nature and your deep love for her. By your inability to voice your emotions. Your weakness was driven by the fear that she was right.

The fear that you weren’t worthy of her that had followed you throughout your relationship.

Her justifications faded into the background, as did her “I have to do what’s best for me,” and a clear voice broke through your mental anguish.

“You aren’t weak,”

You considered the statement. It was true. You had won 2 world cups, fought back for serious injury, and been through hell with coaches. You were allowed to feel. You had fought long enough for that right.

You had risen from the ashes of a world sent aflame before, now would be no different. Unintentionality did not erase all sins. You would not allow this woman, this beautifully gorgeous woman, to walk over you.

In a moment of courage, the word “no” slipped out. It was soft, barely audible, but the first step. You were the master of your own story. If she couldn’t see that, then you didn’t need her.

“Just because you didn’t know, doesn't make it better. You made your choice and now you have to live with the consequences of that,”

It was firm and came with much more force than you intended, more than you thought you were capable of producing.

“But I didn’t think-“ she sputtered, clearly surprised by your reaction. Clearly not expecting you to fight back.

“I know,” The statement cut her off mid-sentence. It rang through the air like the last note of a Tympany, settling over the both of us like a coat of freshly fallen snow.

It was cold, and unfeeling, not like you intended, but entirely representative of your emotions.

“We can still be friends,” The weak and feeble statement falls from her lips, almost like a prayer, and just for a moment you’re captivated.

You watched how they caressed the word, how they moved, and allowed yourself to wander to a place where you would kiss the pain off of them. Where you would step forward and pull her into your arms, intent on quelling the anguish permeating her entire form.

And just for a moment, you allowed yourself to fantasize about being the bigger person. You could forgive her and pretend that you weren’t hurt. You could bottle your emotions in the name of her happiness.

But what of your own happiness?

You shook your head minutely. “You made a choice. Unknowingly or not, it doesn’t negate my feelings. I am allowed to be sad or angry or betrayed or however else I want to feel. You don’t get to dictate that. And right now, I’m not at a place where we can be friends.”

It’s a statement with more collectedness than you actually feel, and it kills you when the tears burn more rapidly across her cheeks.

You don’t stay to let her respond. You couldn’t because you knew you were on the edge of a breakdown yourself (how could you not be). You turn towards the door throwing a “I need to go” over your shoulder.

The door slammed shut and it felt like the final nail in the coffin. You knew it was the last real interaction you would ever have with her. You would cross paths again at camp, and dinners that Sonnett and Kelley would no doubt drag you to, but you would never allow yourself to be as intertwined with her as you were. You would never open yourself to her again.

You turned your back on the burning bridge between you, knowing that you would never have the strength to repair it, climbing onto your bike with little more thought.

You revved the engine, in acknowledgment of that chapter in your life closing. That portion of your life was ending. An acknowledgment of the storm brewing inside your chest.

There was only one place you could go. One person who would understand. You needed your sister. You needed Alex.

[deiitsukki]

Hellooo, I saw your Blogs and I'm in love with it!! Soo I wanted to ask if you can a scenario with katakuri or luffy x virgin reader use safeword during Sex bc it's her first time and it hurts too much, and how would he react. Thank you <3

A/n:this was rushed because I'm doing my last thesis so here ya go.

⚠️:use of safeword, rough sex, leg gripping/bruising, Another OOC Luffy

Send request/ask anything

'it hurts so much' you thought but you can't help but scream and cream on his cock as he warm your insides, It was your first time having sex with him

At first he was so gentle with you Praising you and Asking you if it was okay for him to move or are you hurting, he was so nervous and concerned at first but as time passes after you came multiple times He loses himself.

He loses himself as the way your pretty little cunt take his thick cock, the way you keep on cumming for him, your cute moans that he didn't know he likes hearing other than your beautiful laugh when you're happy.

But right now you can't describe your mood as happy one, because your legs is starting to ache because of his strong grip, your lower belly is starting to hurt from the overstimulation and from the many times you've cum. In fact you couldn't count how many times you came.

He continued to Destroy your insides as lust overtakes him while gripping your legs tightly and you were sure it was already bruised, you wanted to tell him to stop but your body betrayed as it tells you that you wanted more, yes you do, but the pain you're in right now is unbearable. It hurts.

You cried out as he groans hitting the certain spot inside that has you (s)Creaming, you gripped the sheets of the bed as you felt that you're gonna faint from the way he was fucking you hard

You can't take it anymore as he deliver another hard thrust. "Meat" you screamed multiple times and finally he came back to his senses slowly letting go of your bruised legs, he stared at you for good seconds as he realized He have gone too far.

"Can- can I touch you?" He asked, He slowly brought his hands on your cheeks to brush your tears but he felt his chest tighten as you flinch from the contact and face the other side away from his hands as you continue to cry

He slowly pulled out inside of you, warm pool of mix of yours and his cum leak from your pussy, he gave you time to calm down before laying besides you, however you turned your back on him as you sob clutching the blanket close to your chest to cover your body and he couldn't help but feel guilty towards his actions

You trusted him to be gentle with you because you said it was your first time having a very intimate moment with him, he didn't know what has gotten into him to be so agressive to you.

He was staring at your back, you seemed you've already calmed down from what happened and for the second time he slowly brought his hands on your exposed shoulder, at first he was hesitant but when he didn't saw or heard any protest, he slowly pulled you close to him

You turn around so that you could face him and he has this guilty smile on his face " I'm sorry." He muttered bringing his thumb to your face as he brushes some strand of hair that was on your face

" I didn't mean to be so agressive, I didn't know what has gotten into me that I ended up hurting you. I'm Sorry I-" you cut him off by placing your lips softly on his and slowly pulling back you stared at his eyes

" I love you." You said with a tired smile

" I love you too." He replied before pulling you into his toned chest, hugging you as you listened the sound of his heartbeat.