#hera incorrect quotes

[theleftchickennugget]

Hera: Dear future husband, there's a few things you should know if you wanna be my one and only

Zeus: Yes?

Hera: Don't fuck around and find out :)

[minutiaewriter]

Incorrect Hera Quotes Tag, Part II

Tagged by the ever-fabulous @arijensineink 💖

Thank you sm babe I love doing these! I used the incorrect quotes generator you linked in your post and it's so so helpful! Link below:

Tagging with no pressure: @elijahrichardwrites @i-dont-write-as-often-as-id-like @bmaye15 @chickensarentcheap and anyone else who wants to participate because personally this was so much fun!

More incorrect quote scenarios assigned to the Hera: To Catch a Star cast under the cut! ;o

Aome: Do you take constructive criticism?

Yojackson: I only take cash or credit.

~

Yojackson: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Rynn: Oh, you've been?

Yojackson: Once. In Monopoly.

[he has actually been in real prison several times before, don't let him fool you]

~

Bounty Hunter, negotiating with Kilderan: We have Yojackson Owens. Give us ten thousand dollars and he will be returned to you unharmed

Yojackson: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think l'm only worth ten thousand dollars?

Aome:

Yojackson: MAKE IT ONE MILLION-

Aome: YOJACKSON STOP

~

Aome: Are you an 'arr' pirate, or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?

Yojackson: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.

~

Aome: I made tea.

Kilderan: I don't want tea.

Aome: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Kilderan: Then why are you telling me?

Aome: It is a conversation starter.

Kilderan: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Aome: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

~

Kilderan: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Aome: I think you mean cards.

Kilderan, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

~

Aome: Must be hard not being able to laugh.

Kilderan: I do have a sense of humor you know.

Aome: I've never heard you laugh before.

Kilderan: I've never heard you say anything funny.

~

(They have an actual conversation like this in the book, so!!!):

Aome: You know, not every problem can be solved with a gun.

Yojackson: That's why I carry two guns.

~

(And finally, a classic):

Kilderan: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Rynn: Plane tickets?

Aome: Concert tickets?

Yojackson: Prostitution?

Kilderan, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did :D

Stay tuned for Hera: To Catch a Star coming in February!

[magicandmundane]

*after Mon Mothma’s briefing*

Wedge: Hey, Luke! So where’ve you been?

Luke: Yeah, so I went back to Tatooine to break Han’s ass out of Jabba’s Palace. I had to fight a rancor first, though. Luckily, I killed it before—

Omega, on the other side of the room: YOU KILLED MOOCHI?!

[firinnie]

Ok, but imagine Odysseus, who is miraculously on Olympus.

Odysseus: Sooo since no one of you knew me... what was your problem with me?

Apollo: Remember those sirens who wanted to kill you so you killed them? They were my favorite band man!

Hephaestus: Did you really sacrifice your crew who wanted to leave you on the island to die? What a waste...

Aphrodite: You really go to the war I started and your mom died in the process? How dare you? Have you ever heard of love?

Ares: Oh ok, ok. You would rather use your brain than get killed by a monster no one has ever defeated? Coward!

Hera: Honestly? I just haven't played Just Dance in a while, you get it honey?

Zeus: :)

Odysseus: ...

Odysseus: Athena, I want to go home.

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Poseidon: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea taste different if you put it in hot water

Athena,*slowly puts down her book*: Y-You were putting it in cold water....

Poseidon: ....

Hera: Poseidon. Answer the question. Poseidon!

Poseidon: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Everyone: ....

Poseidon: You think I have the patience to boil water?

Dionysus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????

Apollo,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!

Dionysus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!

Apollo: It takes less than a minute!

Hermes: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????

Apollo: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!

Hermes: Like 7 minutes!

Dionysus: *nods*

Apollo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.

Zeus: HA- You're putting the whole mug on the stove?????? on medium heat???? You're stove is enchanted!

Athena: Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic...

Demeter: Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?

[raphael-angele]

If Hades raised Nico and Bianca Part 26 (Babysitting)

Artemis, entering: Apollo, where is- Who is that?

Apollo, holding baby Nico: Hm? Him? Oh, this is Uncle Hades' son. His name is Nico. He's squishy

Artemis: Well, he is adorable *approaches*

Apollo: *turning away* Hey, back off. He's my squishy. Get your own.

Artemis:

Bianca: *tugs on Artemis' clothes*

Artemis: *looks down* Oh...well hello there. *picks her up* What's your name?

---

Bianca: Uncle, look! I found a seashell!

Poseidon: Oh, that's a pretty one, Bianca. It's shiny, too.

Bianca: Can I keep it?

Poseidon: Of course

Nico, pulling Poseidon's arm: Uncle Popo! Uncle Popo!

Poseidon: Woah. Slow down there, Nico. What's wrong?

Nico: Look! *shows baby turtles crawling to the sea*

Poseidon: Oh, look at that. They're going to the sea for the first time.

Nico: We have to help them! *tries to pick one up*

Poseidon: Uph! Not so fast, little one. We can't do that.

Nico: But-

Poseidon: They have to do it on their own. Or else they'll never learn how.

---

Bianca: AARRGH!

Ares: *sigh* C'mon. One more time

Bianca: I don't wanna anymore. This is stupid. >:(

Ares: Look, it's normal to fall on your first few times.

Bianca: But I've been practicing for months now.

Ares: Doesn't matter; you'll still fall. Doesn't matter how good you are. You'll still make mistakes. But if you want to be better than now, then you have to keep going. Understand?

Bianca: Yes, Mr. Ares.

Ares: Alright, c'mon. Stand up, dust yourself off, and let's perfect this dance.

---

Nico, playing with Hera's peacocks: Hehe, hehe. Pretty.

Hera: Who are you?

Nico: Hm?

Hera: How did you get in here?

Nico: I-I...

Hera: What are you doing in here?

Nico: ...the peacocks...

Hera: What?

Nico: The peacocks were hungry. So I gave them food. They took me in here.

Hera:

Nico: I'm sorry, Ms. Hera.

Hera: *sigh then picks him up* You shouldn't be here, little one. Olympus is not a playground for you to wander on.

Nico: I'm sorry.

Hera: And it's very rude to enter someone's chambers without their permission.

---

Aphrodite, waking up: *looks in the mirror to see her hair full of flowers* What the-

Aphrodite: *looks back in her bed*

Nico: *sleeping with a basket of flowers on the side of the bed*

...

Bianca: Ms. Aphrodite

Aphrodite, braiding Bianca's hair: Yes, Bianca?

Bianca: What if I don't want to fall in love? Will you get mad at me?

Aphrodite: Of course not. Love isn't for everyone. Some people prefer to focus on other things like their work or something else.

Bianca: But...I don't wanna be lonely

Aphrodite: You don't have to be. Just because you don't want to fall in love with others doesn't mean they don't love you. And it wont always be a romantic kind of love.

Bianca: What do you mean?

Aphrodite: Hmm, you know how you love your brother very much? Well, that's a different kind of love. Or when you love your friends, that's also a different kind of love.

Bianca: So...you'd be okay if I never get a husband?

Aphrodite: Of course I would. You'd only be hurting yourself if you're forcing yourself to love someone you don't really love. *finishes braiding her hair* And, done!

Bianca, looks in the mirror: ...wow

Aphrodite: Do you like it?

Bianca: I love it...I look like mama

---

Nico: O-once...up-upon...a time... *trying to read Puss in Boots*

Athena: You're doing well, Nico.

Bianca, pointing to a word in her book: Ms. Athena, what does this word mean? Exqui-Exquisite?

Athena: It's an adjective. When something is exquisite, it means it looks beautiful.

---

Nico: Choo choo! Uncle Hepha! Can I play with choo choo?

Hephaestus: Sure, why not? Just don't touch it, okay? You'll hurt yourself.

Bianca: Uncle Hephaestus, can you please fix this? *shows him a trinket*

Hephaestus: What is it? *takes it*

Bianca: It was our mama's music box. When you open it, it should make a pretty sound and the people in the middle should dance around. But they stopped dancing.

Hephaestus: Alright. I'll try and fix it. But I can't guarantee you that I can

---

Nico: HAHAHAHAHA! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!

Hermes: Nico, we've run around 5 times already. You're gonna throw up at this point

Nico: No, I'm not.

Hermes: Yes, you are. That's enough running around.

Nico: Aww :(

Hermes: How about instead, we go and prank your Uncle Apollo? :D

Nico: YEA!

Hermes: What are we thinking? Cut the reigns on his chariot? Cover his chambers in tin foil? Shoot him in the butt?

---

Zeus: Ah! Hello, little ones. Why don't you come here and give your uncle Zeus a hug?

Bianca:

Nico:

Zeus: Come on

Nico: *throws the dummy sword Zagreus gave him*

Bianca: *throws the dummy sword Achilles gave her*

Zeus: Ow!

Hades: ...good work, children! :D

[landstedelesbian]

leo: come on ! Percy: where are we going ? Leo: werewolf hunting percy: woooooo Leo, squinting his eyes: what the fuck did you just say ?

[satoshy12]

Zeus looked at the to-do list:" So I spoke to Cassie and Daniel, then her mother Helena and then the groom's parents. Hera: "When we meet them again, I should ask Madeline for the fudge recipe. Zeus: "Yes, I am sure my champion would like to try it. So I haven't forgotten anyone this time?" Hera looked at the list, Zeus learned from the Demeter problem:" No, I don't see anyone missing. We can plan the wedding."

[i-am-traveling-the-multifandom]

Hermes, Apollo and Hephaestus, barging into Poseidon's room: POSEIDON!!!! Poseidon, dropping his drink: WHAT THE FUCK- Hephaestus: SAY I CAN MAKE A TACTICAL ROOMBA Poseidon: A what- Why are you asking me?! Hermes: Zeus and Hera will say no and Maia and Leto aren’t here! Poseidon: … I guess? Go for it. Apollo: FUCK YEA- *leaves* Poseidon: … am I the fun uncle?

[reagan-the-saunders]

Athena: Never once has he cheated on his wife. Hera: ...GIRL LEAD WITH THAT-

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: So I see you didn't punish Hera for kidnapping Percy and your boy.

Zeus, eyeing Poseidon warily: It was ultimately Apollo's fault due to the prophecy-

Poseidon: But ultimately she didn't get punished.

Zeus: Well, no but-

Poseidon: Percy! I'm kidnapping you and holding you at Atlantis for a year!

Percy: I need to attend Estelle's 1st birthday in a few months, but besides that please. Get me out of his hellhole. I have no idea how I let mom and Annabeth talk me into NRU.

Poseidon, nodding: I can work with that! I finally get to bring you home.

Zeus: wAIT-

[minutiaewriter]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

Thanks @primroseprime2019 for the tag, I've wanted to do this for a while and now I'm finally free to respond to the tag ^ ^

I'll be using quotes from one of my all-time favorite TV shows Friends and assigning them to the main cast of Hera. These are in no particular order, and assigned to the characters I think fit them best. Enjoy!

Yojackson Owens: “Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait, I said maybe!”

~

Aome: Hello, people who don't live here.

Yojackson: Hey.

Rynn: Hi.

Kilderan: Hello.

Aome: I gave you the key for emergencies.

Yojackson: We were out of food.

~

Yojackson: I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.

~

Rynn: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited!

~

Kilderan: I'm fine. Totally fine.

~

Aome: Where have you been?

Kilderan: Emotional hell.

~

Kilderan: You’re over me? When were you…under me?

~

Aome: Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.

~

Yojackson: Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

~

Aome: You got a job?

Yojackson: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing!

~

Aome: Oh, I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?

~

Yojackson, to Rynn (honey glazed rolls are involved): We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.

~

Aome: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

~

Rynn: You’re a strange kind of grown-up

Well, that concludes part 1! And yes, there will be more parts because this was way too much fun!!

Stay tuned for Hera: To Catch a Star coming this February!

[third-generation-female-warrior]

Incorrect Havoc Squadron Quotes

[Omega, rolling up to Yavin 4]

Random Rebel: Wow, you look just like our chief medic, Emerie.

Omega, deadpan: What a coincidence.

___

Stormtrooper: You have the right to remain silent.

Deke: Well, I revoke that right.

Deke: *Starts screaming.*

___

Omega: It's kinda weird to see Kallus on our side after he spent so much time trying to capture my squad.

Ezra: Wait, capture your squad??? *Turns to Kallus* I thought you spent all your time trying to capture my squad.

Kallus: I have a life outside of you, Ezra.

___

Hera: Omega! How have you be-

Omega: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again... I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you-- I can't breathe. You're asking me to be rational. That is something I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can't.

___

Bounty Hunter: We have your commander.

Mox, Stak, Deke: [Exchanging glances.]

Stak and Deke: [Start laughing uncontrollably]

Mox: Yeah, no. She has you. Good luck! *Hangs up.*

___

Stak: Whoops.

Mox: Whoops? WHOOPS? This is not a “whoops” situation. We are far past whoops. Whoops is a distant speck in the rear view mirror. We are solidly in “oh fuck” territory, and I expect you to act like it!

___

Stak: Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my sister is a lesbian"

Omega: Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.

___

The Havoc Squadron: Go big or go home!

The Rebellion Generals (sans Hera): I am begging you, for once in your life, please go home!

The Havoc Squadron: ...I'm going big!

___

Omega: I have a plan.

Mox: And I have Emerie on speed dial.

___

Omega: We all have our demons.

Mox, Stak, and Deke all point at Omega: That one's mine.

[aaeeart]

hey I made another one 👁️ this one is probably my favorite absolutely not because Freddie is a part of that audio, trust me

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[0lympian-c0uncil]

Ares: do you even know who Lady Gaga is?

Hera: presumably the wife of Lord Gaga

[slamophile]

rebel omega: *looking at this random twi'lek and something starts feeling oddly familiar* hey are you that weird pilot girl i met ages ago?

hera: hold my FUCKING horses, chopper.