#heroic judge

[mysteriousdrone]

“My duty is to call it out” Judge Young, who was appointed to the federal bench by Ronald Reagan in 1985, called the terminations “arbitrary and capricious.” But he went further than other judges in the many impoundment suits, calling the administration out for its flagrant animus against racial and sexual minorities. “I am hesitant to draw this conclusion — but I have an unflinching obligation to draw it — that this represents racial discrimination and discrimination against America’s LGBTQ community,” he said, according to Politico. “That’s what this is. I would be blind not to call it out. My duty is to call it out.“

* Some days I’m proud of my chosen profession. Trump’s abuse of the law made lawyers cool again. 

[ninemensmorrisforfish]

Poorly Drawing Epic the Musical with a $2 Mouse and MS Paint.

Song 20: Monster

[FIRST] - [PREVIOUS] - [NEXT]

[danshive]

Starfield - The player is asked to join Constellation…

Player: “Do I get paid?”

Sarah: “What, beyond free room and board, and the use of our starship?! UGH!”

Player: “I mean, I still need savings. I have my future to consider.”

Sarah: “No you don’t! Your life is weird space artifacts now! Don’t be so selfish!”

Player: “…Is this a cult?”

Sarah: “Maybe a LITTLE.”

Later, coming across a dangerous hostage situation, and being asked to go in and fight armed bank robbers…

Player: “If I’m going to do this, I’d like to get paid.”

Sam: “That’s the sort of thing you should ask about AFTER the job is done.”

Player: “No it’s not!”

[personal-ly]

I really expected the first wave of monsters to die faster ngl. So hyped for the last stand exam though. Hope they become the first ones to not die

[lord-squiggletits]

After I write that new IDW Optimus meta, the next one is gonna be a post of "why I really hate that theory about Rodimus being a better Prime than Optimus and how it doesn't even match the themes of IDW OR canon fact about how the Matrix functions."

But the TLDR that I feel like encapsulates where a lot of this fanwank comes from, is that I feel like ppl don't properly appreciate that the context of Optimus and Rodimus' leaderships are extremely different.

Like, Rodimus only led a ship of about 200+ people. This means that the scale of his leadership responsibilities and the risks/consequences/stakes of his actions as leader were much smaller in scale. However, it also means that just because he only led one ship of people doesn't mean that his choices weren't important/weren't indicative of his personal character (that is to say, just bc it was only one ship doesn't mean that it had no meaning or significance at all).

On the other hand, Optimus led an entire freaking army over a 4 million year war that arose from political tensions that began even before he/most of the people in the war were born. That means that the consequences of his leadership had extremely far reaching consequences no matter what he did, which grants him a large degree of culpability/blame for his actions. HOWEVER, it must also be said that under the pressure of fighting an impossible war, just because OP wasn't able to "stop it sooner" doesn't mean that he was a morally bad/incompetent leader, because a whole galactic war is such a huge burden that one person can't possibly stop it or influence/control everything to make the most morally correct and peace-causing decisions.

TLDR can we please stop pitting Optimus and Rodimus against each other when the contexts of them being leaders was so vastly different (and they had such different leadership styles in general) that you can't really say "who's the better leader" without minimizing either of their accomplishments/magnifying their respective flaws.

Also, canonically speaking the Matrix can be wielded by anyone who's confident/at peace/self-righteous enough to believe they're worthy of it, which was shown not only by the ending of LL where a bunch of regular ass crewmates were able to use copies of the Matrix, but by the fact that the first Prime/ruler of Cybertron Nova Prime was a massive piece of shit who colonized people, yet was still a Matrix bearer who wielded the true/original Matrix.

And also Primus is literally Just Some Guy and not some omnipotent god who's an objective arbiter of morality that can point at a guy and go "YOU are the Specialest Boy Ever and are Divinely Mandated To Be A Good person"

So the entire premise of why ppl even make theories and debate about this is beyond me lol. In IDW1 the Matrix is more of a social/cultural symbol than it is an actual measurer of morality, which is in line with IDW1's consistent themes of challenging the inherent rightness of authority

[alicepao13]

I feel like this is about Charlie Hudson in Capital Punishment.

[little-lanterns]

okay

[unopenablebox]

what an incredibly quick and effective way to get me to unsubscribe from a podcast feed once and for all

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

the dsmp fandom does not know what morally grey means and it shows like. moral greyness does not mean someone who’s generally heroic who does one bad thing or someone who’s generally villainous but also is like. a human being and not pure evil. like. c!dream is objectively, factually not morally grey. at all. he is a villain that is his ROLE in the STORY it’s FINE it doesn’t mean he’s pure evil and nothing else. it means he plays an Important Role it’s a GOOD THING. same with c!schlatt. c!tommy and c!fundy and c!niki and honestly like a ton of other characters are Also not morally grey they Obviously have hurt people and done bad shit but like. being morally grey doesn’t mean you have flaws it is a Specific Role in between being heroic and villainous and like. Most DSMP Characters Are Pretty Unambiguously Good People Actually. this does not mean they’re Always Good or Never Make Mistakes but they’re good people trying to help others. and that’s ALSO FINE. they do not NEED to be ambiguous. characters can serve a heroic role that’s okay it doesn’t mean they’re perfect people incapable of criticism it’s just how fucking STORIES WORK oh my god.

[onewomancitadel]

The really weird thing about the sort of semi-prevalent attitude (in more implicit and explicit forms) that what you do in fiction is real, not that it has realistic consequences but even is even its own type of imaginary harm (which is like... legitimately crazymaking on its own) is that if you extend that beyond erotica and/or enemies-to-lovers of whatever is targetted du jour, if, say - and this is the prominent example that comes to mind - you put your character through trials and tribulations, how are readers not meant to wonder a) how much you specifically want to harm the character in question - that it is a real harm! and b) hmm maybe you're a bit fucked up for cooking up a narrative like this, aren't you? No matter how much it reflects the actual human condition of suffering.

So it is untenable, as always, because it is crybullying and a reactionary politics but its own contradictions come to the fore quite easily if you apply it logically. Beyond that, when I gestured to implicit beliefs, I do think that people really do feel, on some subconscious level, that storytelling is real, and when your author is particularly mean to your favourite character, it feels like they're hurting them on purpose. I think that's a function of narrative, not aberrant, but it's not surprising how it feeds into, or has some aetiological influence on 'anti' antics.

At the heart of it, though, is something that really sterilises storytelling, and I think this is anti-humanistic in its own way! Storytelling is cathartic! And it's incredibly odd to foster a panopticon that judges how much harm you secretly want to inflict on other people, or indeed imaginary characters, based on... basic narrative challenges and trials and tribulations and sometimes - even - torment. There are much more concrete ways to judge that which don't fundamentally compromise narrative or actually encourage pathological behaviour.

[returntotheground]

also speaking of haterism: when we went to watch sinners, we saw all the current previews/trailers and when i tell you that latest marvel trailer was the most painful, awkward, unpleasant thing to sit through

[telephoniii]

REALLY…HIM?

☆彡 in which professor trein judges your relationship with the NRC boys

NRC boys x Reader (minus Ortho)

Word Counter: 3K

Warnings: Reader is Prefect, Trein is your father figure, established relationship, possible OOC

A/N: life’s getting pretty hectic so i’m sorry if my upload schedule slows down. i hope you enjoy :>

ace trappola

Can’t say he’s surprised, just disappointed. It makes sense; he was one of your first friends. However, that doesn’t make him any less troublesome. Despite being a first-year, Ace is one of the biggest slackers and troublemakers on campus— much to Trein’s dismay. His main worry is that Ace will poorly influence you. He’s already seeing it with the two of you getting a crazy amount of detentions and scoldings for unthinkable reasons. You’ve got it rough already being from another world, you don’t need a devil on your shoulder convincing you to get into all kinds of trouble. It’s a real shame said devil is your boyfriend. He’ll allow the relationship and all will seem swell. Little do you know that he pulled Ace aside and had a long chat.

deuce spade

A fine pick; Trein is neither severely impressed nor disappointed. He doesn’t think Deuce is too bad, but he believes you could do better. Deuce will need to somehow prove himself to Trein. On the outside, Trein looks like he absolutely hates his guts. His eyes are always staring at Deuce with this sharp look and it gets the card soldier real nervous real fast. In reality, it’s just Trein keeping a closer eye on him + his RBF. He’s relatively neutral on the first year, yet Deuce is fully convinced that his professor wants to set him on fire.

cater diamond

Trein is very annoyed with your choice. He doesn’t like Cater’s social media addiction and would much rather have you hit the books than scrolling through Magicam. Not to mention, he feels as though something about Cater’s happy-go-lucky attitude is a facade, and doesn’t trust him around you. Cater finds Trein scary, but he’s not as intimidated as Deuce. As he does with Ace, Trein takes Cater to have a talk, and—surprisingly— his opinions on the third year improve. He doesn’t fully like him, but he’ll tolerate Cater more so than beforehand. Cater also offers to help Trein make a social media account; it’s cute yet chaotic all the same watching them bond.

trey clover

Before Trein can form a solid thought on Trey, the vice housewarden is subtly trying to win his favor. Trey knows how about his father-like connection to you and immediately shapes up. He gifts Trein different pastries and learns which ones he’s partial to. What really wins the professor over is when Trey starts volunteering to help clean his classroom after class. Trein won’t even know the two of you are already together and he’ll make comments around you like, “That Clover boy is real nice…” Needless to say, Trein approves of Trey long before he finds out you both are in a relationship.

riddle rosehearts

Trein immediately scowls when he hears the news of your relationship. You’d think he’d approve due to Riddle’s intellect and dutiful behavior. Admittedly, Trein does like that about Riddle. But he despises the boy’s bursts of anger, finding them childish and unfitting for a future mage. He’s seen the housewarden go berserk on one too many students and doesn’t trust he won’t do the same to you. Trein doesn’t want you walking on eggshells around your own partner. This is another one who’ll have to prove themselves to Trein. Riddle will be upset when he hears of Trein’s low opinion of him, but gets a surge of motivation to convince him otherwise. You’ll find Riddle working even harder on his studies than before you didn’t even think that was possible in hopes of gaining Trein’s favor. He’ll eventually get it. I imagine that Riddle does some small, heroic deed for you that really shows his love, and Trein just so happens to be passing by and sees it. Once your unofficial official father in Twisted Wonderland gets along with Riddle, expect to be nagged about missing assignments and homework a WHOLE LOT.

jack howl

Similar to Trey, he immediately knows about your bond with Trein. Instead of trying to win over the professor, Jack takes a more blunt approach. He goes straight to his desk after class and tells him about your relationship, being upfront about his feelings towards you. Trein respects it. He thinks that Jack has more guts than most on campus and trusts him to protect you. He’s quite supportive of the relationship, acting as a mentor for the both of you. You can catch him watching the two of you with a tiny smile, murmuring something along the lines of, “Young love.” The two of you remind him of his own marriage with his late wife. It makes him sentimental in a way.

ruggie bucchi

A BIG 180 FROM JACK. Trein thinks this guy is sleazy. Ruggie couldn’t care less in the beginning, finding it funny to practically hang off your shoulder while Trein stared daggers into him. Then it started to seep in that it may or may not be important to get Trein’s approval for a long-term relationship with you. That’s when he gets his act together and completely starts sucking up to Trein. He’ll help out with paperwork, errands, cleaning up, etc! All for free! much to his dismay All Ruggie asks for in return is Trein’s support for your relationship. He catches Trein by surprise with how well his work ethic is. The lengths the hyena goes to for you ends up leaving the professor impressed.

leona kingscholar

Professor Trein is both surprised and disappointed. Now how did this happen? He didn't think Kingscholar was capable of being nice to anyone, let alone get into a whole relationship. Well, he bugs you to tell your boyfriend to start showing up to class. He’s not exactly happy with you dating a huge slacker like him, but Trein knows that Leona is a smart boy. Brash and not his first pick, sure, but he wouldn’t play with your heart or rope you into anything stupid. He trusts Kingscholar to protect you. But if he starts seeing you begin to skip class— which is going to happen, Leona’s going to make you do it at least once— he’ll pull YOU aside and give you an earful. Tough love, unfortunately.

floyd leech

Hell no. All the red blaring flags. Now why would you go and do that? Really? Out of EVERYONE? You bet your bottoms Trein is actively speaking out against your relationship every single time he sees you. He doesn't even want to try to talk to Floyd. Trein is convinced you are addicted to getting in trouble and lets out the biggest old man sigh. Is there any way Floyd can win the professor’s favor? Probably not. And if there was a way, would Floyd even do it? Big fat no. Floyd thinks it is hilarious that Professor Trein disapproves, upping his affections around him with that toothy grin of his. And if you guys have a class together that Trein teaches? Chaos. Expect a lot of paper balls to be thrown at you.

jade leech

“Are you okay??” Is the first thing Trein asks when you tell him you and Jade are in a relationship. Doesn't exactly trust the boy, but Jade tends to behave around him. The professor has always seen him being picture-perfect whenever he’s around which is 100% suspicious, but Trein doesn't have any solid reasons to disapprove. Jade, like his brother, finds the whole situation very amusing. He’s always figuring out new ways to appear like the ‘ideal boyfriend’ to Trein. If he ever talks to the professor he’ll slip in a comment like, “I never disappoint, trust me” and it makes Trein distrust him even more.

azul ashengrotto

Now what bet did you lose for this to have happened? At least Ashengrotto is a star student, you need to hang out around more of those in his opinion. After confirming that, “No, no bet was lost,” and “No, he’s not paying for my love,” Trein was pretty alright with it. The Monstro Lounge is a student-ran organization, it's clear from that the young boy is capable and responsible. He just keeps a very, very close eye on you two. The last thing Trein wants is for Azul to take advantage of you since— knowing him— he seems like the type to do so. Expect frequent questions of “How’s your relationship going?” and “He’s treating you right, right?” Azul is going to get asked to stay after class to talk. Trein then proceeds to threaten lecture him on how to properly treat your lover. He just wants to make sure you don't get wrapped up in one of those contracts he’s heard about. Azul has quite the track record.

kalim al asim

Automatically assumes you’re dating him for the money and begins to ramble about how you should marry for love. Tells you about his late wife and how much he loved her— it is so sweet I'm actually crying. That's the kind of love he wants you to have. You’ve got to reassure him that, “Yes, my certified father figure, I do love him very much and I’m not just in it for the money.” After that talk, he finds the relationship sweet but kind of concerning. Kalim is a nice boy but severely naive and, frankly, incompetent. Trein starts to go a little harder on Kalim in class, not that he was going easy anyway. He scrutinizes the essays he turns in and chastises him for missing an assignment. As he watches you kiss Kalim on the cheek after getting an A, Trein can only sigh and think, “He’s lucky he’s rich.”

jamil viper

Trein’s pretty okay with him. He’s a level-headed guy with passable grades and the title of a vice housewarden. However, the professor did hear about his Overblot and does think that there's more beneath the surface. He doesn't judge him for his Overblot, no. But Trein does keep a closer eye on him to make sure he isn't scheming anything involving you. The professor also tries to push him to do better academically. He’s heard from you about how smart Jamil truly is and can see his potential, so he tries to get him to stop holding back. Jamil is a little appreciative of it and respects Trein as your father figure, but still isn't a fan of sticking out. Nor does he plan on giving into Trein’s attempts.

epel felmier

Is fine with the relationship at first. He was polite, soft-spoken, and a part of Pomfiore. Most students belonging to that dorm are pompous, but respectful nonetheless. Then Epel’s true nature comes out and Trein is constantly reprimanding him for horseplay. It's kinda funny how surprised Trein is by Epel’s country toughness. The professor definitely had his suspicions— nobody at NRC is innocent, he’s learned every student here has some sort of dark side— but he definitely wouldn't have expected this. A part of Trein actually prefers him like this. You are dating someone with a backbone who will defend you. He encourages Epel to be himself around him, promising a judgment-free area. They get along pretty well surprisingly, with Trein being a sort of mentor to him. Overall, very sweet and Trein approves.

rook hunt

In the most blunt way possible, Trein tells you, “Your boyfriend weirds me out.” He thinks Rook is an oddball for sure. No way around it. Is half convinced Rook is stalking him. Because he is. When you explained to your boyfriend about the bond you had with Professor Trein, he got way too intrigued and ended up ‘watching’ Trein like he does to Leona. It's not until the professor makes a passing comment about being paranoid that he’s being watched that you realized, “Oh shit my boyfriends stalking you.” You don't say that to him— you don't want Rook getting in trouble. So you settle on having a really long talk with Rook about it who reassures you he’d never disturb your father figure or the absolutely beautiful bond between the two of you. He still worries you sometimes when he goes missing and randomly reappears by walking out of Trein’s classroom.

vil schoenheit

Trein worries that Vil won’t make the time for you. He’s aware that Schoenheit is a busy boy as he’s missed his class plentiful in the past. He’ll make Vil stay after class for a little to talk to him about it, giving him a fatherly warning about being ready to fully commit to a relationship and the time it takes to manage one. Vil is, admittedly, insulted that Trein doubts his ability to wholeheartedly love you but takes it in stride. He sees this as a sign to up his game in the romance department and properly does so, dedicating more time to pampering you. The professor expresses his concerns to his coworker, Crewel, who talks his ear off about how much of a “good pup” Vil is and that he won't disappoint. Trein can’t help but agree when he spots you walking into class looking more freshened with slight makeup on and a new hair-do that Vil definitely did for you.

idia shroud

Once you break the news to Trein, he immediately asks to meet with Idia one-on-one. The blue-haired student rarely shows up to class! And that iPad isn't going to cut it forever! He needs to be able to size him up in person. Idia, naturally, is scared to death. At first, he immediately declines, insisting that they don't really need to meet up, the whole idea is stupid, and it’ll be fine if he stays right there in his room. Then you sit down with him and tell him how important Trein is to you and… sigh You landed a natural 20 on the dice of persuasion. Idia can’t believe he's doing this. You’re beside him the whole time as he stutters in front of Trein. Is Trein impressed? No, not at all. Yet your confidence in the Shroud and constant praise is reassuring. The professor’s going to make you force Idia into showing up in person in class. His attendance rivals Leona's.

sebek zigvolt

Doesn't really care for Sebek despite the first year's desperate attempts at trying to impress him. Sebek lost him after he started talking about Malleus when Trein asked about you. Ever since then, it’s just been him trying to win him back to no prevail. Kinda sad to watch. He’ll be the biggest gentleman ever: rushing to doors to open them for Trein, scrubbing his whole classroom for him from top to bottom, and yelling at other students to be quiet— though he was pretty much doing that before you two even got together. But every time Sebek gets close to winning the professor’s favor, he ends up going on a tangent about how amazing his liege is, and we're back at square one. You’ve got to rub him on the back and kiss him on the cheek while telling him, “Trein will come around one day!” Even if that day never comes.

silver

Not a fan. He’s witnessed Silver fall asleep in his class one too many times and thinks it's disrespectful. Once you tell Silver, he’s upset as it's not exactly something he can change, but will put in extra effort not only in Trein’s class but in all his classes. He studies with you beside him so you can prevent him from falling asleep when you see him get all drowsy-eyed. Trein immediately takes note of Silver’s hard work and grit as the boy passes his class with flying colors while asking if there’s anything he could do to help him after hours. It's only when he hears from his fellow teachers that Silver has been doing exceptionally well is he actually impressed. Afterwards, Trein will start being more understanding of Silver’s constant sleeping. He won't be any less strict, but he won’t lay into him for it as hard as before since learning it's out of Silver’s control. Trein thinks rather positively of your relationship, comparing it to the ones in the fairytales.

lilia vanrouge

A bit disturbed, to say the least. Lilia is older than him after all. Trein tried to keep a close eye on the two of you, but Lilia always caught him and pursued a staring match. Trein was always the first to look away. Lilia finds it entertaining. He tries to play tiny tricks on the professor, but you stop him at the very last minute. You sit down and try to explain that you deeply care about Trein and, by extension, what Trein thinks of him. Lilia proceeded to suggest that he brings Trein some cookies to win him over to which you immediately say no. Honestly, I don’t see Trein really ever warming up to Lilia. He just pretends the old bat doesn't exist and isn't your boyfriend. Lilia finds that incredibly funny while you're dying inside.

malleus draconia

The fact you were able to get close to the Draconia is an impressive feat to Trein. However, future ruler of Briar Valley or not, he intends to make sure that Malleus treats you right. Right when you tell Malleus that Trein is basically your father, the fae goes straight to the professor, confesses to him about your relationship, and swears to take good care of you with this ominous tone. Trein isn’t very fond of Malleus at first, struggling to decipher whether or not that introduction was genuine. It isn't until you go to him after class, gushing about the late-night walk you went on with Malleus yesterday and shoving cute little polaroid photos in his face does Trein begin to trust the fae. He makes sure to scold you for not being asleep at that time, yes, but he stares at one of the photographs for way too long, imagining you and Malleus as him and his late wife for a moment. A small smile appears on his face. However, he can’t help but think that the two of you are down a similar path; the happiest marriage ever, kids, and one lover outliving the other. A tragedy, but he’ll let you enjoy it while it lasts just like he did. As long as you’re happy.

[nekovale]

So, I don't know how many Bsd fans are also Fate/Stay Night fans...... BUT I AM and this is the only reason this exists Fate is one of my favorite series and I was listening to the Fate/Zero ost one day because it's one of my fav ost ever... and I started thinking about a possible crossover and it kinda snowballed from there lol Explanations and ramblings under the cut!

For who doesn't know what Fate/Stay Night is about: the gist of it is there's a recurring event where seven mages (masters) summon seven heroic spirits (servants) who fight between each other to win the Holy Grail. Basic things to know are: servants are divided in classes and each has a Noble Phantasm, aka a servant's ultimate weapon/ability; each master has three command spells which compel the servant to obey to three absolute orders; servants need mana to keep existing. said mana is usually provided by the master, but can also be transferred with bodily fluids (that includes sex) The pairs I had thought of for this au are: - berserker!Chuuya + Dazai (in this case the berserker's typical madness happens only with Corruption, which is Chuuya's Noble Phantasm and can be stopped only using a command spell) - saber!Akutagawa + Atsushi - caster!Nikolai + Fyodor - lancer!Bram + Aya - assassin!Nathaniel + Margareth - archer!Mark Twain + Lucy I have absolutely NO idea who to cast as rider lol Kunikida is the Church's overseer though (an impartial judge for the Holy War) I've thought about these combinations for fun since I don't have an overarching plot or anything, just some little disconnected scenes, but I liked the possible interactions with these pairs. I wanted to have characters from the main factions in the series (so like, the Port Mafia, the Agency, the Guild...) but since servants are heroic spirits of the past (and in this au they're not their irl literary counterparts, but characters on their own. Chuuya's real identity would be Arahabaki, etc) I wanted to pick characters who also could have a particular design while fitting the role........... I wanted to put Lovecraft in there too but he's definitely a berserker and I'm not giving up Chuuya for it lol This wip has been eating my brain for literal months, so here it is!! It got me back into doodling just for fun so it was a good time. I actually have more sketches but I feel like these are already a lot lol...... so I'll post those at a later time (also because I'm rewatching ubw now so I might end up doing more....)

[emmyrosee]

tw // arachnaphobia!!!

-

You’re surprised your shriek of terror doesn’t shatter the windows in your apartment.

The pitch of fear in your voice at the sight of the eight legged monster that sits stagnant on the wall across from you hurts your own ears, and you’re sure your neighbors will hear it, but you don’t care.

Your scream was to rouse Sukuna from his games to deal with the terror. And judging by the pounding of feet down the hall, you’re confident it worked.

“-at whAT WHAT?!” He yells, his head whipping around the room to scan for danger, and when his eyes fall into you, his chest heaves and eyes are blazed with fight or flight. He’s in an oversized shirt and basketball shorts, his headset off one ear and controller dangling in one fist. Not exactly ready to fight, but you find it heroic all the same. “What! Why’d you scream!”

Your eyes curve in fear as you point to the other wall, the spider continuing to sit unbothered as your horrified screams disturb everyone else. His head darts to the other side of the room, and his raised brow come down as ‘fight’ turns into ‘annoyance.’ “Fucking seriously?”

“There’s a spider,” you whimper.

“Yeah, fucking see that,” he snarls. “My question is, did ya have to shatter my eardrums and cost me my game to look at it?”

You pout at him as you curl closer to yourself, and just as he turns to leave, you’re quick to call out for him. “Please kill it!”

“You do it.”

“You know I can’t! Please I’ll let you play in peace, I’ll cuddle you and shut up I swear-“

“Alright, alright,” he groans, walking up to the wall confidently. He makes direct eye contact with you, and if you thought you were going to pass out before, nothing could’ve prepared you for the massive disbelief that grips your heart when Sukuna Ryomen, the man you love, the man you give your soul to-

Uses his bare fucking hand to kill the spider under his palm.

The loud THWAK! silences the apartment air, making it still as your jaw slacks and your breath gets caught in your throat.

“You’re welcome,” he says, looking at the squashed spider in his hand. “Come cuddle once you’re stable again.”

“YOURE LITERALLY NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN!” You wail, backing yourself into a corner as he rolls his eyes and makes his way to the adjacent bathroom.

“Fuckin’ thinking that’s a good thing.”

[kandlewick]

i was thinking about this but as much as i love romantic malleus, i think platonic bestie hornton is equal if not better. you know those fics where grim is the one cock blocking all the other characters? imagine if it was your 6'6 bestie, future ruler of briar valley, the one the only malleus draconia. this man has the highest standards for you. he can't be swayed by a simple can of tuna. what is one meal to a near immortal fae? no, this man is subtly eyeing every single classmate that shows any sort of interest in you, silently judging for their intentions. he doesn't even need to threaten them, just him standing beside you is enough for them to get the picture. do not mess with his child of man. your suitors thought ace and deuce were bad, malleus is a whole other beast all together. if this person loved you like they claimed, whats a few card soldiers and a dragon? be like the heroic knight in legends long passed. fight for your maiden, prince, steal them away from their guardians. try it.

that's not to say he's unwilling to compromise. he loves his child of man very much even if they do make, in his eyes, unwise choices. you've made it very clear to him that even he makes choices that backfire. putting an entire island to sleep is not his proudest moment after all, but that doesn't change the fact he still worries. to him, you are so young, so fragile. isn't it said that your kind can die from a broken heart? the very thought of you leaving him due to his inaction has left him breathless on more then one occasion. where would he be without you?

so he watches and waits by your side, your ever present companion. your platonic soulmate. the man who walks you down the aisle and hands you off to your true love, just like in the fairy tales. he trusts you and loves you with every beat of his heart, his child of man, and he will be your best friend as long as you live and beyond. love never dies after all.

[tenok]

Well I won't say that Aziraphale was horrified at thought of kiling a child, he was mostly sitting there arguing that he shouldn't be the one doing the killing (he does cleary dislike the idea), which is a little different (and btw I rewatched that scene for this and wow, first of all how cinematografically great first season are, it hits hard, and second it's a small thing but him immediatly jumping from "I don't want to do the kiling" to "what if we go to his party and prevent hound from happening" — that's such a great moment usually overlooked, but it's on par with "I will try to talk with higher ups" and his other desisions in the way how he never gives up and always tries to think of several other possibilities, even when Crowley already lost hope. Just, chef kiss), and while he dislikes it and was willing to find his way around this, as soon as he set his mind on this track and up to the moment of shooting he was working fast and clever on finding his way to kill this child without much remorse. In no way I say this as a way to critisize him, no, I actually think it' great example of how he deals with using violence: he will try to find the other way, but if there's no other options? He will use it, will use it cleverly, and he won't be sorry much. That's just part of his tool chest, not his favorite, but not something he swears off forever. And it's sexy of him.

But other than that I think it's a matter of perspectives. I don't like overly sweet, soft and innocent portrayal of Aziraphale that you can usually find in fics that's more kind to Aziraphale, I think that he's much more deep and has a better understanding of the world that people gave him credit for and he's much more in peace with some darker thing in himself and others. I also think his softness can be a shield hiding this things not only from others but from him too: like in kilind Adam example, when he doesn't want to think of killing a child, he immediatly jumps to "maybe I can do tricks as a magician :)" which doesn't mean that kiling a child still doesn't a possibility he still considered, that he doesn't still think about it on more deep level, accepting and getting ready, but on surface level? He's into his silly mode. The same with looking for a clues in season two: he's so eager to play detective so he can stop thinking about Gabriel, heavens and hell for a second and calm down. I'm not saying that he isn't naturally sweet and easy to get exited person, but I do think that calm, collected person person aware of horrors and his capability of using violence as much of beauty of the world and his capability to find joy in every litte thing is much more correct portrayal of him than "always cheery and never willing to hurt anyone and being bastard only in sense that sometimes he says something jokingly sexual to Crowley" I usually see.

Now, sorry, I completely derailed post that was about Azirahale trowing fists lol

And about describing him as masculine, I kinda understand what you mean and yes him going into fights can be example of this I'm sure, but I'll say that it's more complex. See, first and foremost, the global problem is that fandom as a whole for now favours Crowley, so all povs, deep reflection and other cool things usually go to him (the quality if this reflection is another thing, god save us from character's haters and character's protectors). And any thing that can be actually deep and meaningfull would be botched if written without considering what's inside character's head, be this fighting/violence/masculitinity/etc! And another thing is that while yes Aziraphale is feminie, he's actually really, really masculine too. He does. It's pretty significant thing. Like, we saw Crowley passing as women a least once, two if you counting Golgotha, and Aziraphale always passed as man. Queer man, gay man. He's not feminie per se, he's utilizing his masculinity in feminie way. He's not wearing a skirt (although I'm sure he can and would if he will consider it proper [the same with violence lol]), he wear a pastel suit. He keeps his hair fluffy, but not long. He does his manicure, he also goes to specifically male's barber to pay him for treatment of his hair and non-existent beard (I suppose, since he's used "barber" and not "hairdresser" but it can also be translation thing). His mannerisms are not women's, it's a gay man thing (or neurodivergence thing). And people... they actually don't know what to do with healthy, non-conventional masculinity and how to explore it. They can play with queering the gender, putting Crowley in skirts and make up and changing pronouns on a whim, they can do one of them or both womens, but people stuck on making masculinity interesting and specifically queer masculinity not… cringe, I suppose? Like, to write Aziraphale beng his *pansy* self and not making this a bad sitcom episode can be challenging, and also some people probably avoid this without even thinking because it can feel disrespectful to write character this way. So it's kinds interesting that people make Crowley this *cool rebellious genderqueer punk* but rarely explore this side of Aziraphale at all.

There's other thing in play, like people loving dichotomies so if Crowley more feminie than Aziraphale should be more masculine, or people just wanting a trope with strong daddy ravaging helpless twink (you can find the same with top!Crowley and bottom!Aziraphale, but less after season two, much less /unfortunate sigh/). But, anyway, I'm derailing again and my point was that Aziraphale's fighting is just a part of bigger... I don't want to call it issue? It's not that deep you know. Fandom shift?

Anyway thank's for listening to me rambling! In conclusion, Aziraphale should be allowed to beat people up when he feels like this, but he should be granted with big pretty flowr crown immediatly later, because he's a softie and we love him for that

Look I think I said it before somewhere but I need to talk about it again.

Aziraphale (in the show - his characterization differs in the book and I’m talking about show Aziraphale here) is a soft character. He started out as a soldier and he made the conscious decision to give the sword away to someone who would use it for protection, instead of keeping it to fight (leaving out the whole thing about War owning it later on cause that’s a different topic and definitely wasn’t what Aziraphale had in mind when giving away the sword). He also makes a conscious decision to look and act as non-threatening as possible, instead deciding to look soft and huggable and gay as hell a tree full of monkeys on nitrogen oxide. We don’t see him fighting anybody even when he gets the sword back - he just holds it and swings it around a little, he doesn’t even lift it when they face Satan (I think. I’d have to go back and watch again but I’m fairly sure he just stands in the background behind Adam with the tip of the sword facing the ground).

We know, or at least suspect from the scene where he fixes the hole in the wall that he’s physically strong and we know he’s still technically a soldier in Heavens eyes (Gabriel going „you’re a lean mean fighting machine“ and him having and possibly leading a platoon in Heaven) but he fully rejects that position in episode five to go back to Earth. He doesn’t want to be a soldier at all. He’s still a protector, we see this in season two with Jimbriel (he literally says „I said I would protect you and I will), but even THEN he doesn’t physically fight the demons entering the bookshop (he lights the circle but it’s Maggie and Nina throwing fire extinguishers and encyclopedias).

I know we as the fandom love badass Aziraphale. I love badass Aziraphale as well. I take a little bit of an issue with how him actually being badass is portrayed in fanfic sometimes because a lot of trying to make him physically fight demons comes across as trying to make him more masculine, more fit, less the campy, soft, kind character that he is and it annoys me. (A part of that is also how people try to make him more like Crowley, which I don’t like the undertones of either but that’s a whole different topic.) Both because I don’t like the implication that to make him badass you have to change that part of his character and because we’ve seen him being badass in the show already and it was either a) trying to protect humans/Crowley/Jimbriel, which involved a lot more threatening that him actually throwing hands or on one occasion b) him being bitchy (Furfur pronouncing his name wrong). It was him being kind and caring about people and their lives! And possibly their reading skills.

And I know there’s a lot of hope for more badass Aziraphale in season three, because hell yeah, Heaven getting obliterated from the inside? Absolutely. But when we get to see BAMF Aziraphale in season three (because I don’t doubt we will, in some form or other) I’d much rather see him be badass by outsmarting Heaven (magic tricks anybody?) and getting away with it or threatening the Metatron or whatever than by punching somebody in the face. And IF he does have to use physical violence, then I want there to be a reason for it and I want it to be portrayed as a bad thing. Like I want I to be the absolutely lowest point of the character because we know how much he detests doing it and he hates having to do it anyways.

In that case also want it to end with the Metatron dead in a ditch.