#hilariously i did have the thought yesterday that like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vngelicc · 1 year

Text

⊹₊ ⋆ “that dick make my soul smile,”

TAGS — creampie, fingering, slight degradation, dirty talk (LOTS), jk’s a sleazy mess at first, oc is done, mamas is stressed out, rough sex, jk rocks her shit 💀, some praise here n there, jk’s affectionate tonight, sex tapes r mentioned again, shower sex(?) not rlly, possessive!jk, breeding kink, never ending saga of jk saying “mama” or “ma”

WORD COUNT — 2.6 k

“Trash, trash, trash,” you mumble to yourself while you sort out the mail in your hands, “oh definitely trash.” You sigh and shake your head. You’re knocked out of your thoughts when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your middle and pull you back, “What the hell–” You hiss in surprise.

“Hey mama.” Jungkook’s stupid voice comes from behind, you already know he’s sporting a stupid grin on his fucking face. You shove his arms off and turn around to look at him with an annoyed glare, “Oh c’mon don’t be like that, aren’t you happy to see me? You weren’t mad at me like this yesterday when you had my head between your–” You quickly reach up to cover his mouth and look around the empty hall.

“Are you insane? There’s people around, Jesus, you don’t have any shame do you?” You side eye him, “First off,” you shake your head, “what are you doing here? I didn’t text you and Jiho didn’t ask, so why are you here?” You give him a look, “And if you’re looking for Jiho you’d know he’s on a camping trip with his cousins.”

Jungkook raises his hands in surrender, “Can’t a man come see his baby mama anymore? Shit you suck the fun out of trying to surprise you baby,” he shakes his head but you know, Jeon Jungkook isn’t fooling anyone and certainly not you.

“You forgot, didn't you.” You scoff, “Of course you did, what else did I expect? This camping trip is all Jiho talked about last week and yet you still manage to forget that because you’re thinking with your other head.” You roll your eyes and turn to unlock the front door, “Sometimes I wonder what Jiho even fucking sees in you, you’re a deadbeat Jungkook, a deadbeat.”

Jungkook chuckles, “To be fair my other head is the reason you get a good night’s sleep.” He says with a smirk on his lips as he stands there admiring the way your ass looks in that tight pencil skirt you’re wearing. You turn around to shoot him a glare but say nothing else and simply step into your apartment. Jungkook leans against the doorframe with both arms raised, “So, you gonna let me in sweetheart?” He licks his lips, poking his tongue out to push at his lip ring.

You look into his eyes and then down at his lips, “Well?” You shrug your coat and slip your heels off, “You gonna stand there all night or what?” He chuckles quietly and slips into your apartment, shutting the door behind him.

“This is new.” Jungkook comments, “Don’t remember you ever smoking.” He inspects the ashtray with a noncommittal hum.

“It’s not just for me.” You say uncharacteristically calm, “I bought it for you, figured you needed one since you love leaving a mess on my patio.” You don’t miss the way he smiles fondly at you, “Don’t get too excited dipshit, I smoke too, don't forget that.” You scoff and disappear down the hall.

Jungkook whistles under his breath and follows after you, “I didn’t say anything ma,” he kicks your bedroom door closed and settles himself over your bed, “what’s up with you? You’re not being your usual angry self.” He watches you go around your room putting things away and picking out your clothes.

“I’m tired Jungkook, I had two meetings back to back and all I wanna do is come home to shower and sleep. Can’t do that because you decided to come bother me at this fuckin’ hour.” You mumble and then throw a pair of panties at him full speed, “Don’t think I didn’t see the shit you posted either, you’re not funny.”

Jungkook throws his head back with a laugh, “Really? Cause I thought it was hilarious, I think it perfectly describes us.” He cheekily grins at you with that dumb lovestruck look of his.

You stop to give him an exasperated look, “Jungkook,” sigh, “telling people you’re always fucking your baby mama regardless is not funny, neither is saying ‘I fuck her when she mad at me.’ You’re a child.” You shake your head. You throw more clothes onto the bed and grab your robe and towel, “Don’t make a mess in my house Jungkook, I’m not in the mood tonight.”

Jungkook watches you with a pleased smile, “I won’t.” He reaches for your tv remote, “I’ll be rightttt here, sitting like a good boy for you ma.” He winks, “You just go ‘head and shower.” You eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, he kept smiling goofily so you ended up walking away with no words.

You know he was up to something with the way he kept smiling so stupid. You grumble under your breath and hope he just doesn’t cause you to have a fucking aneurysm or something. You swear this man was going to send you to an early grave at this point.

Everything sounded pretty quiet out there, you heard Jungkook get up at some point but you figured he was going to smoke or get something. He even left the TV on, which you were grateful for because you didn’t do too well with silence. “What are you doing..” You mutter with closed eyes, just enjoying the hot water running down your exhausted body.

You were in the middle of reaching for your loofah when you heard the glass door open and Jungkook step in after you. “Pass me that bottle over there.” You softly hum.

Jungkook whistles softly and tugs you back into him, “Relax baby, let me do all the work.” He says in your ear, “I got you..” He gently pries the loofah out of your hands, “Worked so hard this entire week, baby deserves to rest.” He squirts some of your body wash onto the loofah. You don’t correct him because that’s true, hell you deserved this princess treatment for putting up with his ass too.

He gently ran his hand over your body, lathering your body up in the soap suds leaving you smelling like strawberries. He doesn’t try any funny business surprisingly, when he finishes he puts his hands on your shoulders and begins massaging gently. A quiet moan escapes your lips as relief rushes through you, “Damn you’re stiff as shit here.” Jungkook comments.

You lean your head back on his chest with a closed eye smile, “You’re finally being useful for once.” You chuckle.

“What are you talking about? I fuck you plenty baby, far as I know this dick makes you fall asleep faster than the fucking melatonin you take.” He laughs, making you laugh a little too. Jungkook lets your shoulders go and wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you backwards so your back is to his front. “Got you something special.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

“Did you now?” you huff in amusement and gently stroke his arm, “What did you get hm?”

“Nothing much, figured you needed a night in so I ordered some fried chicken and soju.” He lays gentle kisses over your shoulder and buries his face in your neck, “I set up a movie to watch too.”

You turn your head to face him, looking into his eyes before smiling softly and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, “Thank you. Guess you’re not a dipshit afterall.” He laughs at your words and you ignore him, opting to press your lips against his once more. Jungkook welcomes you, his fingers dance across your tummy and inch downwards causing your breath to hitch in excitement.

Jungkook’s lips wetly smack against yours, muffled grunt leaving him as he holds you tighter against him. The kiss initially started off slow and more controlled, now it’s wet and messy with sloppy noises filling the space between you two. You pant into his mouth and your eyes flutter open to look at him pleadingly.

Jungkook grins softly as he pushes you towards the glass, “There you go baby, let loose for me, I’ll make you feel so fucking good.” He has you pressed right up against the glass, tits smushed and hands on either side of you. You bite your lip and push your ass back against his thick cock, it’s hot and throbbing against your cheek making you all the more eager to get it inside of you.

“Look at you, pussy’s drooling all over my cock,” he bites his lip and swipes his cockhead through your dewy slick folds, “hear that? ‘s your pussy callin’ out to me baby.” He pushes in slightly, letting the tip pop in with a lewd squelch.

Your lips part in a breathy moan and you push back for more but he stops you with a gentle hand on your hip. “Not here baby, relax for me.” He says as he lets his cock slip out, “Gonna fuck your pussy with my fingers first, get you nice and stretched out before I fuck you with my cock.” He cups your pussy in his hand and lets his fingers slip through the mess dripping from your folds.

Jungkook takes his time opening you up, slipping his middle and then his ring finger into you until they’re knuckle deep. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out, this is exactly what you needed after those long hours in the office this entire week. Jungkook does not disappoint when he begins pumping them in and out slowly, making sure he hits every nook and cranny inside of you.

“There we go,” Jungkook whispers and begins kissing down your neck, “doing so good for me mama,” he sucks a hickey into your skin, “let go for me.” He nibbles on your earlobe and uses his other hand to wrap around your throat, not choking–simply holding it.

Your eyes flutter shut and you lean your head back on his shoulder, “Oh fuck yes,” you sigh in bliss, “right there.” You circle your hips, gasping when his fingers brush against your g-spot.

Jungkook pulls you back in and kisses up your neck slowly, “You’re so fuckin’ pretty baby, look at you, dripping all over my fingers like a little cock hungry slut. Bet you missed this dick baby, need me to come fuck it in your needy little pussy, have you all spread on the bed for me begging for more,” he whispers as he kisses the side of your face, “you gonna be a good girl and take it?” He jabs his fingers into your g-spot causing a burst of pleasure to hit you.

“Yeah,” you pant softly, “want it deep inside,” you bite your lip and spread your thighs a bit wider, “need it so bad.” You whimper quietly and push back on his fingers.

Jungkook chuckles breathily, “Yeah..” He moves his fingers faster, jostling you as your back arches, “Make it messy for me sweetheart, go ‘head and cum,” he has you locked in place, keeping you from moving anywhere. His fingers piston in and out of you rapidly, loud squelching noises resonating as bits of slick drip down your inner thighs.

“Oh fuck..!” You gasp and clench down, “C-Coming..” You hump his fingers desperately, “K-Keep going, right there, right there,” you whimper out and feel your orgasm come crashing down on you, hitting harder as all the stress lifts itself from your body.

Jungkook slows down until you’re whining in overstimulation, “Clean ‘em.” He slips his wet messy fingers into your mouth, “Fuck.” He groans, “C’mere baby.” He turns you around and lifts you up in his arms, “Need you on my cock.”

“Wait, the water!” You reach behind blindly to turn the knob, groaning when he begins sucking on your soft tits.

“Fuck..!” You throw your head back on the pillow with gritted teeth. He’s fucking you so fast and hard you’re honestly no sure what to focus on anymore..him? The skin slapping? The bed creaking? He’s not making it so easy either with the way he’s groaning and panting right by your ear.

Jungkook has you folded under him, his hands grip the back of your thighs and hold them up while he plows your swollen dripping pussy with his fat cock. The room feels stuffy, sheets are strewn about messily and you’re both laid bare in the open without a single care. Jungkook isn’t faring much better, his moans are choked up and every so often you feel him throb inside you.

“You like that baby?” He pants breathlessly against your lips, “Got you clenching so tight around my cock, practically drooling all over me.” He rolls his hips against yours smoothly, pelvis pressing down and rubbing along your clit stimulating it. His balls press against your taint with soft palping noises every time he grinds into you.

You shakily claw at his shoulders and moan needily, the angle certainly has your legs feeling like jelly and your poor cunt throbbing from the pounding he’s giving you. “Love it,” you turn your face to slot your lips against his messily, “fills me up so good baby.” You cup his face in your hands and hold him in place while he works his cock in and out of you.

Jungkook lets out a muffled moan as he starts picking up the pace, hips smacking into yours over and over again with deafening slaps. He lets your thighs go in favor of planting them on either side of you on the bed, “Hear that sloppy little pussy? Got it creaming all over my cock and makin’ a mess. Who’s fuckin’ you baby? C’mon tell me.”

“You are.” You whimper out, “Shit–right there,” you mewl.

“That’s right sweetheart, no one else can give it to you the way I can. You can fucking try but at the end of the day this pussy is mine to fuck,” slap, “mine to use,” slap, “mine to breed.” He growls in your ear lowly, “Gonna ruin you for anyone else, so next the time you plan on letting someone else have it you’ll be remembering the way I fucked you so good.” He hisses softly and sits up, landing a set of punishing thrusts on you, making your body bounce a bit off the mattress.

Your head rolls back and you let out a series of staccato moans, crying out for more and scrambling to grip the bed sheets, the pillows, the blankets–anything. He’s fucking you within an inch of your life and you feel like you’re about to pass out from the sweet pleasure mixed with a tiny hint of pain from the way his hips smack into your ass. “Jungkook..!” You sob out.

Jungkook grits his teeth and reaches down to pinch your clit cruelly, relishing in the way your back arches off the bed. “Go on, cum for me little mama.”

With perfectly aimed thrusts and the combination of his fingers on your sensitive bud, you cum for a second time on his cock. He leaves you trembling on the bed, whimpering and whining. Jungkook follows up shortly with a low moan and your name escaping his lips, “Fucking hell.” He whispers breathlessly.

You let your jelly-like legs fall on the bed, “I’m not getting up.” You mutter, “Put the chicken away, ‘m going to sleep..” You turn on your side and curl up, shivering when his cock slips out of your battered pussy.

Jungkook hums, “The things I do for you baby,” he sighs softly as he strokes your thigh up and down, “lucky I love and appreciate you mama so much.” He rolls out of bed and slips his loose sweats on.

“You love me.” You sleepily mumble, “ ‘n you love my pussy.. I love your dick too.” You smile in your sleep, a bit delirious from the fucking and the strong orgasm he had given you.

Jungkook eyes you with a grin, “Damn right I do.”

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @frieschan

#bts #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #bts jungkook

4K notes · View notes

snapscube · 3 months

Note

Hey I was just wondering, due to the reaction you had with Stray yesterday, and wanted to ask if you had issues with the game.

I'm not asking so I could judge it due to bias, I just want to hear your thoughts on what you dislike

ok so

if by “the reaction” you specifically mean the vim and vigor with which i was cackling during the switch versions reveal, that had NOTHING to do with the game itself and instead was my reaction to the graphical compromises apparently required to get that game running. as someone who played through all of stray, that game is absolutely beautiful from a visual perspective and the switch version is DECIDEDLY scuffed in a way that i found hilarious.

HOWEVER, if you’re instead referring to the comment at the beginning where i kinda jokingly did the “That fucking bird that i hate” reference but replaced “bird” with “game” and “hate” with “Enjoyed Well Enough”, yes that does genuinely reflect a sort of running gag with my overall opinions on Stray. i streamed the game in its entirety when it released and there is a LOT to love about it, but personally i left the game feeling somewhat underwhelmed by its writing and the way it elected to communicate the story. the first thing that appeals to almost anyone about the game is the promise of seeing this sci if dystopia through the eyes of a cat, with all of the mischief and personal distance that implies. and Stray absolutely does have NOTES of this throughout the game. there are so many little interactions and animations that capture the essence of a cat so flawlessly and it’s commendable. but as the story goes on i personally felt like the game started to make more and more concessions away from this concept in order to fit in a relatively traditional adventure game narrative. it all ended up feeling somewhat well-tread. to this day the things i remember about the game are its stunning art direction, sound design, and the clear care that went into capturing and replicating cat-like behavior. i could not tell you a single detail of the story or the characters off the top of my head save for a few vague generalizations of its themes.

so, in short: i liked stray! i think its a really good game and its fantastically put together. i just was not nearly as crazy about it as some other folks were. so the running gag is that i hate stray and i think its the worst game of all time.

390 notes · View notes

seeingivy · 8 months

Text

core memories

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friends (older brother) fic

previous part linked here

sukuna feels like he’s peeled off a layer of skin after that night. it all culminated into this thing for him - that raw tenderness associated with a deeply painful childhood memory, the warmth of a date in your hometown, and the fact that you crawled into the bath with him, just to hold him close.

that you let down your own wall just because you were so eager to crawl into his.

it’s why he feels like he’s irrevocably given some part of himself to you. at least that’s what he thinks anyways.

and it only works – it only feels like something he desperately won’t be able to ever get back – and more importantly, wants you to keep, because the same thing happens to you (or at least he hopes it does) two weeks down the line.

it starts out simple.

you accidentally bleed onto his sheets during the night.

sukuna wakes up to your side of the bed empty, and more alarmingly, the red splotch on his pristine white sheets, when he’s reminded of the memory. he can barely register it because your presence demands his attention immediately after and his throat feels like chalk.

“hey, sukuna. can i ask for a weird favor?” you ask, peeking your head out of the doorway.

sukuna pinches his lips together.

“sure, angel. what’s up?”

“can you run to the store and grab me some pads please? i didn’t realize it was already friday and that my period was going to start.”

sukuna stands up, closing the distance before you, before he leans down to press a warm kiss to your forehead.

“sure. what size is your pussy?” sukuna asks.

you roll your eyes.

“you’re hilarious. you should quit your job and start stand-up comedy.”

“can’t exactly keep up with your expensive needs if i do that, now can i?” sukuna states, giving you a cheeky smile as you shut the door straight onto his face.

“pads are ten dollars, sukuna.”

“i’m talking about how you linked my credit card to your doordash account and thought i wouldn’t notice.” sukuna deadpans.

you give him a peachy smile, as you reach forward to poke his cheek.

“have i ever told you that you’re the best boyfriend ever?”

“nope.”

“keep dreaming about it! i don’t plan to.” you state, giving him a wink as he all but glares at you.

when you shut the door, sukuna’s quick to collect the sheets and throw them in the wash before his brisk walk out to the store. and he tries to figure it out – to find how exactly to make you feel the way he did that night.

the memory’s replaying in his mind, with overwhelming detail, when he walks over there, and it sinks deeper into his chest the more detail he remembers.

of the day your dad left, when you came running over to him with blood running down your legs.

you’re only reminded of the memory when sukuna comes back, with the box of pads with a heart-shaped chocolate placed on top. eerily enough, he’s nowhere to be found when you leave the shower, your skin still warm from the water as you look around.

you unwrap the little pink foil as you pace around the flat for him, feet cold on the concrete, until you find him in the bedroom, pulling the sheets over the mattress.

or at least attempting to.

“want some help?” you ask.

“i don’t need your chocolate covered hands on the clean sheets.” sukuna states, eyeing you.

“come lick it off my fingers if it’s bothering you so much.” you complain, setting the little foil on the nightstand.

"don't tempt me."

you reach for the closest corner, pinning it down and tucking it under the mattress, as sukuna sends you a grateful smile, before throwing the other half of the blanket over to you.

“i washed these yesterday, sukuna.” you mention.

“yeah. um-”

you look up at him, hands nearly trembling and the loud smacking of his phone falling out of his pocket as you walk over to his side, securing it from the floor.

it’s almost frightening – watching someone so collected fumble with their words. you figure this is how sukuna would feel if you were ever able to keep it together.

“you okay, butter fingers?” you ask.

“yeah. yeah, i’m fine. thanks, pretty girl.” he states.

you hand him the phone, eyeing his shoddy work.

“you barely even tucked the sheets in properly.” you complain, pushing him to the side, before reaching back for the blanket and smoothing it perfectly against the sheets.

and before he can get away, you quickly reach for his wrists and pull him back. and you’re quick to nestle into his arms, digging your cheek into his shoulder as the smell of his cologne nearly obliterates your nostrils.

“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask.

there it is again. sukuna wants to strangle you.

“stop fucking doing that.” he murmurs.

“doing what?”

“y/n.” he warns.

you pull back, bring your palms to his cheeks before squishing his face together. you can tell that he’s annoyed – and you’re entirely amused by it – as he tries to muster a sentence together through his squished lips.

“am i supposed to read your mind, you big baby?” you coo.

“i don’t like it when you say that.” sukuna states.

you pause.

“oh. i’m sorry. i just figured you were a big…pet names guy. you barely even call me by my name. but don’t worry, i-”

“no.”

“oh?” you ask, giving him your best smirk.

you’re not sure how well it works when you do it. the teasing, bantering type thing when you’re trying to get him to loosen up. it had worked well enough in your favor the past few times – and you figured you’re almost…goofy charm was part of why sukuna liked you in the first place – so you’d try to use it when you could.

“i don’t like it when you call me a big fucking baby. i'm not a fan of patronizing nicknames.” sukuna states.

you smile.

“but? it feels like there’s more to that statement.”

sukuna rolls his eyes.

“but. i like it when you call me that otherwise.”

you tilt your head to the side.

“okay, baby. but seriously, what’s wrong with you? you really only act like this when somethings up.” you state.

it gets harder to hide things from you as time goes on. but that’s part of the risk anyways – of becoming so close you’re nearly intertwined. sukuna sighs, before giving you a firm squeeze at your sides.

“i changed the sheets again because you leaked on them.” sukuna states.

you nearly cringe, clenching your jaw.

“ew, sukuna. oh my god. i’m so sorry, you should have told me so i could have-”

“that’s nothing to apologize for.” he clarifies.

“no, really. now you’re all grossed out by me so much that you’re being weird.”

sukuna finds it irritating. you nearly find the good in everything, except for yourself.

“i’m not grossed out by it.” he states.

“i mean…”

“it just reminded me. of the last time we…had something like this happen.” sukuna states.

“the last time? we haven’t even-”

but that’s when you remember. and the embarrassment that never really registered the first time establishes in full effect. so much so, that you have to change the topic just as fast, duck out the first chance you can get.

sukuna can barely focus the entire workday. all he can think about is that memory in petrifying detail, now coupled with the fact that for the first time, he’s upset you so bad that you basically ran away from him.

like fully went to class without even taking your backpack. because that’s how badly you didn’t want to talk to him.

“what’s wrong with you?”

sukuna looks up from his monitor to find shoko peering over at him from his desk, shifting a lollipop around in her mouth.

“nothing.”

“you look like you have a stick up your ass.” she states.

“it takes one to know one. how’s your little situationship going?”

shoko rolls her eyes.

“perfectly fine. how’s your girlfriend?”

“would it kill you to mind your own fucking business sometimes?”

shoko smiles, before gesturing for suguru and satoru from the desks over. nanami’s too civilized for these type of things – which is why he’s the only person that’s not on sukuna’s hit list.

sukuna can nearly feel his nostrils flaring the second satoru starts talking, the overwhelming urge to gouge his eyes out extremely powerful for nine in the morning.

“trouble in paradise?” satoru asks, a sing-song voice in his tone.

“something that’s familiar to you, i’m sure.” sukuna murmurs.

“hey! you don’t have to be a dick.” satoru whines.

sukuna rolls his eyes, nearly breaking the keys on his keyboard.

“what happened? she realized she’s too good for you or something?” shoko states.

“did she get weirded out because she basically used to be like your little sister?” satoru asks.

“she was never like my little sister. and she’s only two years younger than me.” sukuna clarifies.

“oh, we know all about that. you’ve always been our little happy camper when it comes to her.” satoru chides, earning him a fit of laughter from the group.

the closet thing in sukuna’s vicinity is a stapler. luckily for him, satoru doesn’t see it coming at all and it hits him square in the face. that earns him laughter from the group, though it’s cheapened by the whining noises that come out of satoru's mouth afterwards.

but it’s not fault, because in sukuna’s expert opinion, he was asking for it.

sukuna’s lucky enough that he’s been able to keep the group of them away from you for a considerable amount of time. because they’ve been holding onto one of his deepest secrets – and if they were given the opportunity – they would take every chance to mortify him and spell it out for you in detail.

when sukuna came back from europe, he figured that any rebellious streak that he had was basically out of his system. though he always had a tendency to be a little bit bold and overconfident, he’d mellowed out. at least by his europe standards anyways.

and when he met the group of them, they took him out to a bar and asked him a simple question. though it seems rather inappropriate in hindsight, it’s literally due to the copious amounts of alcohol that they all seem to drink – and nurse him into drinking too.

it’s not his fault he misunderstood the question.

who is the first person you ever slept with?

sukuna realized later that the question was who was the first person that he ever had sex with. not the first person that he ever slept next to, that he cuddled with during the night. unfortunately for him, he answered the latter instead of the former – and in his tipsiness – told the group of them all about you before he had even dated you.

that he was counting his lucky stars when yuuji was so sick to go on the trip and that sammy hates bugs, which meant that he got to be there alone with you and the other campers. the other families – their kids were far too old, meaning that the two of you were nearly stuck together.

you taught him how to make smores, he taught you how to catch fish – though you were never really able to do it, so he opted to do it for you. and that your camping bag seemed to be misplaced on the last night, so you shyly climbed into his tent and asked if you could stay.

“sukuna. hey, are you awake?”

“jesus fucking christ.”

sukuna watches as your eyes widen and you cower away with an apologetic look on your face, as you put your hands up.

“sorry! i didn’t realize you were sleeping.”

“my eyes were closed.”

“okay, well. i kind of knew you were sleeping. but i need to ask for a favor.”

“what’s wrong?”

“i can’t find my camping bag. and my tent is so dinky that it doesn’t have the padding on the bottom, so it’s just the cold, muddy floor.” you murmur.

sukuna fights the urge to smile fully. whatever was responsible for ruining your sleeping bag was getting his full praise the next morning.

“okay. scoot in.”

“huh?”

“well, i’m not going to let you sleep on the fucking floor without a blanket. and i’m not giving up my own either, because i don't like you that much, so just come here.”

you wince.

“really? is that not weird?”

“i’ve known you since you were a fucking toddler, basically. i’ve watched you cry more times than i can count, seen you burp more than yuuji, and i’m convinced you farted in front of me one time.”

the agitation in your face is almost funny.

“are you stupid, sukuna? i don’t fart.”

“that’s biologically impossible.”

“no, it’s not. you probably heard yuuji and thought it was me.” you state.

“for the record, you most definitely did. just don’t fart on me in the night and we’ll be fine.” sukuna states.

you roll your eyes as you discard your little camping pants, unaware of the way sukuna’s heart has just constricted in his chest.

maybe he would have taken the floor if he knew you were planning on sleeping in butterfly printed shorts.

“well, now i’m going to wait and aim my fart right at you when it happens.” you respond, as you tuck yourself into the bag, pressed right up against him in the cold.

"I thought you didn't fart."

"i'll adapt just to attack you with it."

his arm finds it’s way around you, the space so constricted that you almost had to intertwine to be any semblance of comfort. and it’s in the dim light of the little lantern that you find yourself face to face with sukuna, for what feels like the first time ever.

his nose is nearly brushing against yours, the minty smell from his toothpaste nearly overwhelming.

“sukuna?”

“yeah?” he whispers.

“thank you.”

sukuna hopes that your head resting against his pounding chest doesn’t keep you up all night.

“earth to fucking sukuna.” satoru states, shaking his hand in front of his eyes.

he has a death wish. suguru must know that all too well, because he’s shooing shoko and satoru’s nosiness away, before he pulls up into the chair next to him.

“alright. what happened?” suguru asks.

“i just…brought up something from when we were kids by accident. about the day her dad left. and-and she was so shocked that she basically fucking ran out the door, to class, without taking her backpack because i upset her that badly.” sukuna grates.

suguru’s mouth pinches into a line, before he leans his chin against the backs of his hands.

“didn’t you say that she was really hard to read?” he asks.

“sometimes.”

“think you just caught her off guard. especially if she wasn’t thinking about it before. i think you should just send her a text to tell her to spend the night and that you can either talk about it or never bring it up again. you should let her make the call.” suguru states.

“you don’t think i should….fucking leave her alone or something? she probably hates me for all i know.”

“i don’t think you’re giving her enough credit. you’re her boyfriend. maybe she wants to talk about it now. especially if you were there – and now she’s reminded of it.”

sukuna ponders the thought as suguru gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up, before he starts yanking on shoko and satoru’s ears in the periphery.

he decides to jump.

dear diamond of the season, i’m sorry about this morning. i just brought it up on a whim and we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. but also if you feel the need to let it out, my time is always yours anyways. (please come home tonight or i will never recover emotionally) (i am kidding. you’re free to take time to yourself if you need it. but also i’ve become too used to sleeping with you next to me and i will shave my head if you don’t come back.) (am also curious how you are faring in class without a pencil, a notebook, or a laptop. you push the limits everyday, baby.) groveling on my hands and knees, sukuna

the response is fast.

dear gentle reader, so much to unpack in one email. WHEN DID YOU WATCH BRIDGERTON? (if you watched it for the period piece porn and not the romance, immediate breakup) caught me a little bit off guard, but not in the bad way. kinda got stuck in my head about it all so…would be kind of nice to talk about it i guess? idk. i’ll see how i feel. (and yes, i’m coming home, silly. i can’t stay away from my alpha wolf (insert barking sounds) for so long :D) (shave your head and i will never fucking recover. i won’t talk to you till it grows back.) (i took notes on a napkin. not one of my finest moments, but i think it’s a testament to the versatility of women.) just pooped in library bathroom, y/n

you come home to find sukuna at the stove and immediately press yourself flush to his skin. looping your arms around his torso, pressing your cheek to his bare skin – one of the few moments you can appreciate that he never really wears a shirt – as you sigh.

“hi stinky.” you coo.

“absolutely not.”

“boo. it’s romantic!” you whine.

sukuna turns around, before cupping his fingers around your chin and tilting your face up. there’s a tired smile on your face – barely any makeup and your glasses instead of your contacts – that has him reeling.

“how was your day, stinky?” he asks.

“the first day’s always the worst. feel like i have no energy.” you respond, leaning your head against his chest.

“luckily for you, we’re having breakfast for dinner. and i have pain killers if it gets bad.”

you smile.

“i’m starting to think you only know one fact about me and it’s that i like french toast.”

“har har har. you’re hilarious, y/n!” he deadpans, flicking your forehead.

he shoos you away, gesturing for you to go change, as he starts plating the food. and when you come back, the two of you cuddle under the blanket on the couch, with your plates warm in your hands.

you look at the screen and promptly skip the scene.

“hey.”

“why can’t we watch season two of bridgerton?” you ask.

“because we’re watching it from the start together.”

“there’s just so much…porn. and enemies to lovers is better than fake dating.”

“sweetheart. you’re like missing half of the plot when you skip those scenes.”

“we’ve watched it before! i’m going to kill you.”

sukuna rolls his eyes, before reaching for the remote and switching to the second season. and well into the third episode – dirty plates stacked on top of each other on the ottoman – sukuna’s fingers running through your hair beckon you to talk.

“sukuna.”

“hm, baby?”

“do you ever think about how knowing each other before has like….impacted our relationship?” you ask.

he looks down at you, concentration from the screen broken.

“sometimes. what are you thinking about?”

sukuna reaches forward, pushing your glasses back to the bridge of your nose.

“when you date other people, you kind of have to explain everything to them. shitty dads, complicated sisters…i feel like we skipped that part. but it’s also more complicated, because you have your own opinions on everything that happened because you were there too.” you murmur.

“works in our favor too. i could never be as close to someone as i am to you. they’d never understand the depth of anything i told them, not like you would because you were actually there.”

you nod.

“that’s true. there’s nothing like understanding that my dad has hurt me than being the one who had to pick me up after that…”

sukuna leans his head against the top of yours, your eyes lazily fixed on the screen, but not focusing.

“can you tell me what you remember from that day?” you ask.

sukuna hums in response. he’s not sure where that block in his throat came from and the wavering in his voice almost embarrasses him.

“we could always hear them fighting. from the kitchen especially, since our windows were always open. and it was particularly loud that day.” sukuna starts.

you can feel his hold on you tighten, the hand skirting underneath your shirt hard on your skin.

“my mom and i knew something was wrong when we heard sammy. and then you. you…your voice was so small compared to his that…that it fucking scared me. it reminded me of yuuji…when he fights with our dad. my first thought was to go over there and fight him myself for you.” sukuna states.

“you just wanted an excuse to fight with adults. especially at that age.”

sukuna knows the joke is a deflection. your heart is barely in the statement.

“and then i heard sammy crying and my heart dropped. i’ve…i’ve seen you cry plenty. but sammy’s so put together, tries so hard to be, that when she let it go, i was shocked. my mom kept telling me not to listen, that it was rude, but i was basically sticking my head out the window at that point.”

you pinch your eyes for what comes next.

“the doorbell rang and you were there. you…you were crying so hard and there was blood running down your legs. i almost called the police because i thought you were hurt.”

“to be honest, i thought i was too. i’d never really gotten my period before, and i knew what they were, but i…i was so shocked when he was gone that i barely processed it.” you murmur.

sukuna squeezes your arm.

“i didn’t know that was your first period.”

you tilt your head up, looking at his brown eyes.

“yeah. your mom was the one who taught me….all the pads and tampons stuff. chocolate for cramps and all that. she actually did pretty well – considering the fact that she had to check on sammy and my mom after that too but still make me comfortable.”

“i’m glad. it seemed so confusing to me at the time – when she sent yuuji and i to the store to grab the pads for you. i feel like she just didn’t want us there to...to not have two more people to worry about. and we really didn’t want to leave you. we basically ran to the store, through the aisles, before we got there and realized there’s like a hundred fucking brands of pads with different like…options and shit.”

“feels like a good time to mention that you have a very good y/n-radar. you got the right ones this morning.”

he smiles, his eyes focused on the table as he mindlessly runs his fingers through your hair.

“you’re forgetting the good parts.” you state.

“and what’s that?”

you smile.

“i know for a fact that your mom used to give you pocket money. and that you and yuuji saved it all to buy candy and chocolate. and you always used to keep it saved, for when you really wanted it, whereas yuuji ate it right away.”

sukuna scoffs.

“and then he had the fucking audacity to complain. like maybe if you didn’t eat it all at once, it would have lasted longer, dipshit.”

you lightly shove him.

“you’re such a meanie. we were like babies.”

“shut up. keep going.”

“you shared your chocolate with me. it was a hershey’s with almonds in it. and when i curled my nose at that, you gave me a whole spiel about the very refined world of chocolate with nuts in it. about how the smooth silkiness of the chocolate was the perfect juxtaposition to the crunchiness of the nut.”

sukuna smiles.

“that sounds inappropriate, baby.”

“get your head out of the gutter. it was sweet. that you shared with me. made me smile. i’ve always felt like i’ve always got some lingering feelings for you but if i had to pinpoint it, that was probably when i started falling in love with you. and granted, that was so….juvenile at that point. i was like a teenager but…it does feel the same as it did then compared to now. falling in love with you.”

sukuna’s quiet. you look over to find him staring at you, his breaths so slow that it catches you off guard. and before you can even asks what’s wrong, he’s looped his hands under your thighs, pulling you straight onto him to straddle his lap.

you place your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, cheeks burning at the way he’s looking up at you.

“what did you just say to me?” he asks, voice quiet.

“what?”

“repeat. what you said.”

that’s when you realize it.

“oh, fuck. sukuna. i don’t want to rus-”

“repeat it.”

you swallow hard.

“i…i’m falling in love with you?”

“that sounds like a question.”

“sukuna.” you whine.

“say it right.” he demands.

you bite into the softness of your cheek, taking a deep breath, before you dig your fingers into the indents of his shoulders.

“sukuna. i’m falling in love with you.” you murmur.

sukuna’s eyes soften, his gaze so honey sweet and warm, that you can’t help but bring your hands to his cheeks. you lean closer, your faces only a few feet away from each other, as you smile back.

“what is it?” you whisper.

“you’re falling in love with me.” he responds. like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“that’s right.” you confirm.

sukuna smiles, before closing the space between you, the kiss so longing that it makes the core in the pit of your stomach burn, your chest flutter. he breaks the kiss, smiling and murmuring against your mouth as you lean against his forehead.

“thanks for finally catching up, slow-poke.”

next part linked here

an: this fic is purely vibes but we die like men. sukuna when he gets arrested on the day his grandfather but y/n when she accidentally has her first period in front of sukuna when her dad left. yup.

taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @ghostreadersthings @charlie-xo @whoami-72 @heijihattorisgf @megu-meow@complexivelovely @multiplefandomthings @hoebuns @lzaj19 @glossygreene @ramluvr @sureconfused @najaemism @manduse @imhorn1help @gamergirl5125 @r0ckst4rjk @invisible-mori @isaacdaknight @wishmemel @gyros-cum-sock @suftsunshine @i0099 @cowgirlikets @haitanibros0007 @stuffeddeer @yoontaedotin @ec3lipsy @armani78 @awkwardaardvarkforever @kereseth @leave-rae-alone @ruruvia @princess-ackerman @jjkwritingss @lilkiwikiara @opchara @telepathicheartss @starriesworlds @raechu11 @exprimidordefresas @nxxrxm @aalloochaat @strangehuman101 @tzutology

526 notes · View notes

jamespottersdaisy · 1 year

Text

It's nice to have a friend.

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

"No one loves a monster like me."

"I do."

warnings- cursing, the prank (with major changes), angst (?), my writing

13k

author's note:- i wrote this listening to taylor and lana. english is not my first language, so beware <3

"What time do you call this?"

You bit down your lips at Remus's flat tone. He looked up from his book with an expression you couldn't figure to be irritated or nonchalant.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I got carried away with astrology," you said as you attempted to sit beside him. He quickly put his books on your seat with a loud thud. Fortunately for him, the library was empty.

"Then go and play with your stars."

"What?" you asked, a bit confused. "Aren't we supposed to study together?"

"We were. But you're late," he said, shaking his head.

"I'm only twenty minutes late," you furrowed your brows at his uncharacteristic rudeness.

He was staring at you as you glared back.

"You damaged your brain while studying Transfiguration without me, didn't you?"

You arched a brow uncomfortably, getting ready to talk again, but Remus's face softened and changed into amusement. The next thing you heard was his light laughter.

"Hilarious, prick."

"I'm a funny bloke," he chuckled as he lifted the books to grant you a seat, which you took.

"You're not really, James and Sirius are way funnier."

"Weren't you the one throwing a tantrum over their prank yesterday? You certainly weren't laughing."

"They died my hair to green! And don't act like you had no part in it."

"I only told them green is your favourite colour. Was I wrong?"

You blankly ogled his smirk.

"Green suits you."

"You know what suits you, Remus? Purple. Should I do something about it?"

To your irritation, his smirk widened. You turned your hand into a fist. "Which eye is your favourite?"

"I only have two."

"That's not an answer."

"Is there supposed to be an answer? The two are the same."

"Well then," you threw your fist at his eye, Remus raising his arm to protect himself.

"Did Sirius bribe you to hit me?"

"No, but he did offer me some galleons in exchange for your chocolate this morning."

"That was you?!"

This time it's your turn to smirk.

"Time is of the essence, Remus, we have to study." you opened a book before you, waving off Remus as he grumbled something under his breath.

You started to study together, helping each other occasionally.

It was a habit now; you two would study together every week for at least four evenings.

Remus was frustrated today; you could tell from his bouncing leg and twitching lips. But you didn't point it out; you knew he felt uncomfortable when someone coddled him. It was one of the perks of being best friends for five years.

From the first year of Hogwarts to the sixth year, you learned almost everything about Remus by heart. How he scratched the hairs on the back of his neck when deep in thought, or how he never looked up from his book while reading, even if his friends were trying to converse with him.

In return, he knew exactly what to tell you when you were overwhelmed by the studies or how to make you laugh when you were feeling like crying.

You two had always been there for each other, listening, understanding, and supporting one another through everything. You had stayed in the hospital wing all night for Remus when he broke his arm in the third year, and he had been there for you when you were burning with a fever two years ago.

There were too many incidents like these which you and Remus shared that proved the special bond between you. James, Sirius and Peter were also your friends, but with Remus, it was different; unique.

He had made you feel appreciated and loved, never let you down or never let anyone look down on you. Sometimes James and Sirius would mock you two for this affection, but that would always earn them a smack on the head from Remus.

You knew everything about him, and he knew everything about you.

Well, almost everything.

He didn't know that your affection for him was something more; It had been for quite some time now.

At first, you thought it was an innocent crush because of teenage hormones or something, and it would fade away with time.

But it didn't. You grew out of 'I fancy Remus Lupin' to 'I love Remus Lupin'. Of course, you never confided in anyone about your burning infatuation, keeping it secret, burying it deep inside your heart.

The same secret that was fighting to break free from your heart's walls every time Remus smiled at you.

The same secret that was clawing from its grave to get up and fly, bleeding your heart every time Remus embraced you and called you a friend.

The same secret that prickled your eyes with tears every time you remembered that you weren't the only one keeping secrets.

He was keeping something from you, too.

You had always felt it in his eyes, glancing away when you would ask about a scar on his arm or a cut on his thumb.

The first time you fought on it was when you saw the huge scar on his face in the second year. You had worried so much that you pushed Remus's patience, and he had yelled at you. For twelve years old, it was a big hit in their friendship. You hadn't talked to each other for two weeks. In the end, Remus approached you to apologize and explained how the Marauders' prank had backfired, resulting in his scar. You had cried that day because of how much you had missed your friend. Remus hugged you tight, but you could swear you heard a sniff or two from him as well.

Remus would always say the scars on his body were because of a prank, and you would pretend to believe it.

Until this year.

You may be a Gryffindor, but you weren't stupid. You had noticed how he would disappear every full moon and "get sick." You didn't push him before because you thought maybe he needed time, but his distrust was turning the understanding in you into resentment.

It hadn't been to hard make speculations about the situation, but you wanted him to confide in you.

"Are you asleep with your eyes open?" Remus startled you, pulling your focus back to the present.

"Are you calling me a dolphin?"

"You two have a lot in common," he patted your head with his quill.

"Freakingly cute?"

"Freakingly evil."

You elbowed him but regretted it the moment he grimaced with pain.

"What's wrong?" you asked, albeit you immediately guessed another injury under his brown jumper.

He forced a smile. "You just proved my point."

"I didn't even hit you that hard!"

"You tell yourself that," Remus stood up, nodding simultaneously. "That's enough for today."

"Already? You sure you okay?" you worried a bit, standing up. "It's only been forty minutes."

"For you, lazy lady. I've been here for an hour, remember?"

"Go on, rub it in, or I won't hear the end of it until tomorrow."

You two were walking to the exit now with relaxed paces.

"Yeah, about that. I won't be able to study with you tomorrow."

You inhale a deep breath and huff it out.

Here goes nothing.

"Again?"

"Yes," his voice is rusty now.

"Why?"

"Marauders thing."

Same excuse as the last month.

You didn't say anything, giving him one more chance again.

"That's bollocks, Remus."

Remus simply curved a side of his lips to a tiny smile, almost unnoticeable to anyone. Well, anyone but you.

However, you were too irritated to mellow at his smile.

Only for one day, you didn't see him, and he had a new scar, and what a coincidence that the same day was a full moon.

"You really shouldn't curse."

"What truly happened to your arm?"

"Sirius accidentally cut it," he said for the third time that day.

"Stop lying."

Maybe you were wrong to push him like this, but you didn't care at that moment.

"I'm not lying, Y/N," he said before grabbing both his and your books and pressing them between his left arm and torso. "Let's go, we have class in ten."

When you didn't budge, his smile grew, and he stretched his free hand towards you.

"Come on, move your arse. We'll be late."

"You shouldn't curse," you said firmly, trying to look as angry as you could. You were on your limit and had no intention of backing off this time. "And I'm not coming with you."

"Why is that?" he pulled his outstretched hand back to the pocket of his trousers, wearing a soft expression, which his mocking tone contrasted with.

"You know why."

"I'm afraid I don't know why you are not coming to class."

"I will go to class, just not with you," you scowled at his nonchalance.

He pressed his lips into a thin line.

"And why is that?"

"Because I've decided that I'm not talking to you."

"That's not fair."

"Yes, it is," you snapped, standing before him. You waited a few minutes for something, eyes narrowed. When Remus chuckled at your annoyed expression, you walked past him, hitting him with your shoulder.

Striding to the common room's exit, you ignored Remus's call. Only after leaving his sight, you fathomed that you had left your book with him but shrugged it off. You two always sat next to each other, and Remus was too nice of a friend not to bring it back.

"Hey, angry lady." his playfully soft tone danced in your ear, making your heart flutter in your ribcage.

"Go away."

"We're headed to the same class."

"Go away from me, then."

"I'm carrying your book."

"No one asked you to," you still hadn't spared him a glance but could feel the soft smile on his lips.

"No one needed to. I'm a gentleman."

"My arse."

"What about it?"

Your head snapped in his direction. Remus was smirking at you, acting like you weren't almost about to fight ten minutes ago.

You walked into the classroom from the door Remus held open for you straight to your seat.

"Give me my book back."

"You forgot the magic word, lady," he sat next to you. "You know, the one starting with 'P'."

"Petrificius Totalus?"

"That would also work, but I had something nicer in mind. Try again?"

"Periculum."

"What would you need the flames for?"

"To burn you."

"You're so violent this morning. Hadn't had your morning coffee?"

"Just give the bloody book back."

"Now that I think about it, you've been violent for the last three days."

You groaned when the professor started the lesson.

"Don't be bitter, Y/N," he pleaded, watching you snatch your book back. He hated when you were angry at him. "I already told you the truth."

"That's rubbish, and you know that," you whispered so the professor wouldn't hear you. "We're not twelve anymore."

"You were a lot nicer when you were twelve, though."

"And a lot stupider."

"Aye. You'll hear no argument from me."

You knew he was merely attempting to lighten the mood, but he didn't realise it only made you more furious.

"Why are you keeping a secret from me?" you finally blurted out the question gnawing on your insides.

Remus's smile ebbed. He exhaled sharply before turning away from you.

"I am not keeping anything from you."

"Then you must think I am gullible because that's the only explanation for you repeating the same 'prank injuries' lie over and over again."

"That's not a lie."

"Is there a problem?"

You clenched your jaw when you heard the professor's rough voice.

"No, Professor," Remus shook his head, ending the chatter.

You didn't talk for the rest of the lesson. However, to your frustration, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his direction only to find him doing the same.

The moment the class was dismissed, you immediately got up and left the room. The last half an hour in the boring potion class made you question some things. You were at odds with yourself.

And now, in the middle of the hallway, with your books to your chest, your mind was hosting a party for questions.

Was it really about you? Maybe no.

Did Remus deserve some secrecy? Maybe yes.

Did your infatuation with your best friend get in the way of your judgement? Breaking your heart not because he had a secret he didn't want to share but because he didn't love you back? No, of course not (It did).

But you deserved his trust. At least, that was how you were feeling based on the years of friendship.

Were you wrong? Probably.

"Y/N!"

You took a deep breath and blew it out as you turned to face Remus, who quickened his pace to catch up to you. He's smiling. Again.

"What?"

"You still pissed at me?"

"Yes? No? I don't know, Remus," you shrugged and carried on walking to the Great Hall. "I don't understand why you won't share it with me. Don't you trust me?"

"I do," he drawled, and you waited for him to continue. He hesitated at first but gave up after your determination not to make a sound.

"Listen, it's not something about you. I just don't like sharing it."

"Does James know? Sirius? Peter?" you arched a brow, desperately hoping for him to say no. You watched him he open his mouth and close it without a reply.

Well, that was it.

He didn't want to tell you, and you were supposed to be okay with it.

You nodded, hurt at something you didn't want to voice.

Remus stopped you from your arm, turning you so that you would face him. His hands made their way to your sulked shoulders and caressed them back to your hands to hold them tight, sending shivers through your body.

"When the time is right, I will tell you," he said. You looked up into his brown eyes, forcing yourself not to peek at his lips. You had always loved his eyes, and his lips.

"I promise. Just trust me."

You lowered your head, closing your eyes to the pleading in his words.

"I just don't understand why you don't trust me."

Remus stepped forward, letting your head lay on his chest.

"I told you, dove. This is not about you. Truly."

You knew it too.

You knew the reason you were so angry was not Remus but your love for him.

You knew you were not resenting Remus but your own inability to suppress your feelings.

So you nodded, hugging him back.

"What do you smell?" you asked Remus, trying not to sound too eager or excited. You were hoping he couldn't hear your racing heart and couldn't see your trembling hands.

Remus inclined his head to the potion, taking in the smell the Amortentia was radiating.

One, two, tree...

He frowned, looking lost. He clenched his jaw, blinking fast. Something must be wrong.

Six, seven, eight...

He cleared his throat, locking his eyes with yours.

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

Remus straightened his back, curling the side of his lips upwards awkwardly.

"What do you smell?"

You gulp, lips parting and then closing and then parting again. You weren't sure it was the right thing to tell him what you smelled from the love potion.

Parchment, coffee, melting chocolate.

Everything that reminded you of him.

"I asked you first."

You sounded taut, internally having a fight between your heart and your brain over the control of your body, mind, and soul.

You didn't know what you wanted to hear from him exactly, but what you did know was that you were praying for it to be something, anything that would remind him of you.

"It's- it's nice," he simply said.

"Mine, too."

"What is it?" he asked, his voice so low that if you weren't so close to him, you wouldn't hear him from all the chatters in the classroom.

You longed to tell him.

Tell him and get it over with. Put down the weighing affection in your shoulders, your lungs and your heart, even if it meant having it broken.

You looked up at him, biting your lower lip so hard it almost bled.

Remus waited and waited and waited for you.

"It's uhm, it's parchment... and uh,-"

"Mr Lupin, are you two done with your potions?

You quickly put a distance between you and Remus. Professor Slughorn stood by the pot, smelling the potion.

"Ah, you are. Well done, you two."

You refused to turn back to Remus, your eyes examining every student in the classroom as Remus cleaned the desk.

James Potter was grinning at Lily Evans, who, in turn, had an unreadable expression on her face. You hoped Lily had smelled James; it would make your friend foolishly happy.

It was a bit chaotic in the room; happy, angry, sad and confused faces were scattered around. A student had even managed to blow up his potion somehow.

You saw Sirius and wondered what he had smelled, but soon your thoughts took a turn when you noticed Sirius was not alone. He was muttering something to Severus Snape with a devilish grin on his face.

"You guys have another prank coming?" you asked Remus, your eyes not leaving Sirius.

You didn't see Remus flinch and almost drop the knife.

"No? Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Then Sirius must be messing with Snape for his own amusement."

Remus hummed softly.

"I love James and Sirius, but was this really necessary?"

It was cold, and you were freezing, not because you had clothed lightly but because it was seven in the morning and in the middle of winter. Remus, seated next to you, was in no better condition. All because your friends insisted you watch them fly around on a broom.

"Well, he had said we were a great support."

"Do I look like any kind of support at this moment?" your teeth were starting to chatter. You closed your eyes at Remus's chuckle, hoping, wishing and praying that you would never forget its sweet melody.

"You look anything but."

You laughed at his words, totally oblivious, his gaze lingering on your smile.

"When is even this game?"

"In two weeks, that's the only thing Pads and Prongs talk about. Where's your head at?"

"I usually tune them out. They're disturbingly loud."

James screamed loudly at Sirius; you threw an 'I told you so' glance at Remus, who rolled his eyes in return. You liked when he did that.

"Try living in the same dorm room with them."

"Must not be fun since you're carrying the scars of the battle in your body."

"And in my soul," he nodded swiftly several of times. You adored the way his brown locks messed into each other, still looking fluffy. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm sweating," you snarked, peeking at Remus. Maybe you were wrong because he definitely appeared more decent than you were. He beamed at you, sneaking in closer, his leg brushing yours.

Without further ado, he pulled his arm over your shoulder, tugging you to his chest. Your breath hitched as his scent filled your mind.

You hated how your heart reacted every time you were this close to him; a hand away to hold his hand, a breath away to kiss his lips-

"Better now?"

You pushed the image deep into your mind, heat blossoming in your chest, colouring your cheeks.

"Cheers."

The next you-don't-know-how-many minutes later, the practice was over, and the players were now descending to the ground. Remus hadn't let go of you yet, not that you wanted him to.

You watched as James and Sirius joked around, Peter joining them later on.

"Hey, lovebirds! Come down!" James yelled, his hands around his mouth.

You raised your head to see Remus frowning at them before smiling at you, which you returned shortly as you stepped out of his warm embrace.

"Who's hungry?" James asked as you two also joined them and answered before anyone else could. "I am. Let's eat."

"Evans still won't tell me what she smelled in Amortentia."

"Drop it, mate. If she wanted to tell, she would've," Sirius slapped James's back before stepping into the Great Hall before everyone.

"If you push her, she might get irritated, you know," you reasoned with James, albeit you knew it was in vain.

"With me? Impossible, I'm lovely."

"Not to her, apparently."

"Not everyone has a Moony around to cuddle, Y/N."

Peter snorted and dodged the hit from Remus's hand.

"What? James, that's not even relevant!" you hid the crimson of your checks with feigned annoyance, refusing to glance at Remus.

"It doesn't have to be relevant," he shrugged, grinning ear to ear. You shook your head, grabbed a toast and didn't see Remus arch a brow at James.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked, making all of you turn around.

"He was there a minute ago, was he not?" you questioned, aimed mainly at James. If there was only one person you could ask about Sirius, and he would have an answer, he was James.

Obviously, not this time because James simply shrugged.

You were jealous. You had never been jealous over Remus until now.

You knew Lily Evans was his good friend, you liked her too, and you knew Remus would never even think about her in that way.

But still, you couldn't help but feel like you were on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to push you every time Lily would put her hand on Remus's hand, grazing the tiny cut lightly with her thumb. Your heart was a target to all sorts of knives when you heard Remus chuckle at Lily's words.

You couldn't help but wonder if she knew Remus's secret.

"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Y/N," Sirius cut your thoughts short.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you dismissed him with a shake of your head, pulling your gaze from Remus to the potion top. "Did you add the Powdered Root of Asphodel?"

Remus had always told you that you were the girl closest to him, and it would always stay like this. But you couldn't get rid of the doubts in your mind you were so certain that were emerging because of your feelings.

"Yes, stir twice clockwise," Sirius started working on Sopophorous bean juice. "I'm talking about Moony."

"What about him?" you bit down your lip and hoped your voice didn't shake when Remus's nickname startled your train of thought. How you loved that nickname...

"Others may be oblivious but don't be ridiculous, I see how you stare at him."

You didn't know how to reply to that claim, so you kept silent but turned your eyes to the long-haired boy. He smiled at you as if an encouragement, which almost crumbled your defences. You were on the verge of giving out.

Would it be bad if there was at last a person to share your feelings with?

"So, is it a monthly 'I fancy him' situation or..?"

"Something more," you finished for him, earning a croon. Here, you had said it with no guarantee that he would keep your secret but with the hope that he would help you carry the burden.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Only when you're jealous, love."

You nodded, smiling a little.

Sirius watched the way you were picking the skin around your nails.

"Hey, stop worrying. I'll tell no one."

Relief had hugged you at that moment, thankful that Sirius took your feelings lightly and didn't make a big deal out of it. Also, happy that you weren't alone anymore in this secret; you had someone capable of understanding.

"Sirius?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you think he'll ever...love me back?"

He sighed, drying his hands. You felt his hands on yours, returning the gesture.

"You know Moony, he doesn't talk about feelings," you laughed bitterly, placing your head on his shoulder. "But he is a plonker if he never returns your feelings, and I'll make sure he gets a new scar if he ever hurts them."

"Thank you, Pads," you melt into his hug as you feel his arms around your waist.

"You smell of strawberries," he took a strand of your hair into his hand, sniffing it. "What shampoo are you using?"

"Stop smelling me like a dog!" you pushed him away, giggling when he gasped in fake hurt. "Focus, we still have to finish that potion."

Sirius carried on with his Sopophorous bean, and you looked around for a sloth brain.

"Did you forget the sloth brain?"

"I thought you were going to get it," Sirius shrugged, looking up. "Moony and Evans have one more. Go and grab from them."

You glanced at the pair, noticing that Remus was already staring at you. He didn't budge when you smiled at him and changed his focus back to Lily.

Red hair, green eyes, dainty freckles and graceful stature. Why did she have to be this beautiful?

You sauntered to their seat, passing near a bunch of students that were requiring the Professor's attention. Remus refused to look up to you when Lily offered you a kind smile.

"Hey, Remus, do you mind sharing an ingredient with me and Sirius?"

"You don't have it?" his tone was not kind, and his eyes were cold.

"I thought he was supposed to take it, but it turns out he thought I would take it," you mumbled real quick, still not fathoming the reason behind his coldness. "So here we are."

"You guys were pretty out of it. How do you even manage to get the job done?"

"We are doing fine," you frown. What was wrong with him?

"Yeah, I saw."

"Are you going to let us borrow the ingredient, or should I ask James and Pete?"

His gaze finally changed into something you couldn't quite name. He turned to Lily, who was trying her best not to pry.

"We won't need the spare," she consented in an instant. Remus dashed to the other side of the desk, clutching the jar and dashing back to you.

"Thank you," you mumbled as you clasped it in your hand. He merely nodded one time before carrying on with whatever he was doing.

You could swear you heard Lily whisper to him, 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you?' before parting, but you ignored it.

You couldn't find Sirius when you were back, so you finished the last steps of the potion on your own. He didn't pop up when the Professor checked the work or when he dismissed the class.

"Why are you pissed at me?"

"Moony is pissed at you?" James hopped in as you made your seat next to Remus, who was busy with his meal.

"Yes–"

"I'm not."

You stared at him in disbelief and bemusement.

"You certainly are. Now tell me why."

When Remus looked at you, a smile inched his lips up though his eyes were still grumpy.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," your head sought him out, giving out in confusion. "How is he any relevant?"

You ignored James muttering, 'You really do like that word, huh?' as your eyes desperately tried to understand why Remus was being weird. But instead of an appropriate reason, all you got was a shrug.

You shook your head in dissatisfaction and stretched your arm for the pumpkin juice. Seeing your attempts, Remus's hand had already grabbed it and now was pouring the juice for you.

"Thank you," you whispered before clearing your throat. "So, we'll study together in the library again, right? Now that you're not 'angry'?"

Remus shook his head when you drew quotation marks with your fingers in the air.

"Today, yes. Not tomorrow, though."

You quelled the rising anger and heartbreak in your heart. In a trice, you twisted in your seat, facing James.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

He was taken aback by your sudden query. By the state of his full mouth and the bread crumbs around his lips, you figured out that he wasn't paying the slightest attention to you and Remus.

"Quidditch practice before breakfast?"

"In the evening, I mean."

"We're supposed to–"

"I wasn't talking to you, Remus."

Remus pursed his lips, cursing himself for not talking to James that morning. James's face crinkled in bafflement.

"I am supposed to finish my star chart with Sirius."

You nodded and glowered back at your best friend. James made a face at Remus behind your back as if asking what was going on.

"You don't take Astrology, Remus."

"I'll study with Lily tomorrow," he said, and you froze.

You were supposed to study together. You and Remus. Together. Like the way it had always been.

He wasn't supposed to study with the prettiest girl in the house. The graceful girl with a delicate smile and silky fire-kissed hair.

You didn't know when or how the familiar burn in your chest surged up, but you recognised what it was. You welcomed the acute sharpness of its thorns and the way it cut through your heart.

"Oi! Why didn't you tell me that? I could've finished the chart earlier and joined you!"

You tuned out James's protest. You wished you could tune out Remus mumbling to him, 'We decided in the potions.' too. But if there was one thing you could never turn a deaf ear to, it was Remus's voice; soft yet stern, melancholic yet hopeful. You wanted to tattoo the tune into your brain the way it was engraved into your heart.

You heard Remus call your name. You hated the way you loved your name from his lips. He had always chanted your name so gently, like an incantation, caressing your soul's most hidden-away parts.

"Yes?"

"I couldn't say no to Lily," he said apologetically.

"Yes, of course," you rose from your seat, offering Remus a smile you hoped covered the hurt behind your eyes. "I understand."

"Where you going?" he attempted to grab you by your wrist, but you were agile. You snatched your wrist away unobtrusively.

"I'm going to look for Sirius."

"Hiya, love," Sirius greeted you at the curtail step of the Grand Staircase. You had looked for him in the castle, but you stumbled on him when you finally gave up and decided to head to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Where were you? I couldn't find you close to the end of the potions," you asked him, feeling a bit better now that you're out of Remus's company.

He shrugged, denying you the answer.

"You, too, Pads?" you stopped your steps, making Sirius do the same. He looked confused.

"I, too, what?"

"Somehow, I never get an answer to any of my questions these days, and it's bloody frustrating," you blurted out the grudge that had made home in you within a breath.

"Someone's getting ready to throw a strop," his mocking tone brought you to your senses. You pouted, sighing away the anger and resentment building up in your core.

"Don't sulk, love," he said as he dropped a hand on your shoulder, which impeded your movement on the stairs. "If it is any consolation, I have a problem with Snape."

"What problem?"

"You remember our last prank on him, right?" he smiled sheepishly. He continued when you nodded. "Right, so he may or may not have been trying to get back at me for it."

"So you two have been fighting like two little third-years for the last week?"

"Uh-huh," you rolled your eyes when he showed you his ridiculously white teeth. "I'm setting the ground for something big, but can't tell you, so don't ask."

"Fine."

"Your turn."

"It's silly," you cringed at the thought. Everything always made sense in your head until it was time to actually voice them.

"Good. Then we'll have a laugh. Come on, now," Sirius squeezed your arm as reassurance.

"Remus is a liar. Sometimes..." you purposely left out the once-in-a-month fact, "He stands me up, saying it's a Marauders thing-"

You held your hand up to interrupt Sirius, who was about to back up his friend.

"Don't. It is a lie. I know something is going on, and I have speculations, I'm not stupid, Sirius–"

"Never said you were."

"And it's okay, you know? We talked about it, and he told me he needed time, and I didn't argue. But now he tells me he isn't gonna study with me because he promised Lily, and I know it's an excuse because he couldn't use the 'Marauders thing' lie this time–"

"Don't forget to breathe."

"It's just...she's pretty and smart and–"

"In love with Prongs."

"You don't know that."

"No, but she will be, and you don't even need to worry about Evans. She's just a good friend of Moony."

You exhale heavily, begging for your endeavours to suppress the ache in your throat to work.

Yes, she was a good friend of Remus. But you're supposed to be his best friend.

Howbeit, more importantly, what was muddling you was the thought that Lily knew Remus's secret.

"I know, Pads. I just can't help it."

Sirius said the password to your common room and gave you the way first.

"You should talk to him, you know," he said as you threw yourself onto a sofa.

"And tell him that I'm ridiculously jealous because of his friendship with Evans, yeah?"

You smiled at Sirius's laugh. "I pity you, love."

You pitied yourself, too.

You grimaced when you felt the metallic taste of blood. Pulling your teeth from your lips, you pushed them together so the blood on them would dry.

You've been pacing around your dorm room, contemplating whether to get down to the library.

Part of you yearned for Remus's presence, while the other part wanted to avoid him forever, not ready to face and voice your thoughts to him. You knew he never left any quarrel unsolved, never letting you stay upset.

Ultimately, your love for him overwhelmed your resentment, and before you knew it, you grabbed your book and ambled down the stairs.

Your knuckles were white from clutching the book hard when you entered the empty library. The only thing you could think about was if Remus was going to be there.

And he was.

He raised his head from his book the moment you crossed his sight, brown eyes full of different emotions that you couldn't sort.

You chose to ignore how his leg was bouncing and how his hair was way messier than usual.

He softly smiled at you when you sat next to him. You smiled back.

You hoped maybe he would act like everything was alright and you wouldn't have to think about your feelings.

But you inhaled sharply when he didn't.

"We're fighting a lot these days," he said, looking at your fingers rather than your eyes. "I hate it when we fight."

"We didn't fight."

"It may not be a fight, but," he took your hands into his, "I know you're hurt."

When you kept silent, he took this as his cue to go on.

"I'm sorry, dove. I should've known it would hurt your feelings to stand up our evening studies."

"You know well that it is not the matter," you said, pulling your hands back. "Stop acting like you don't."

"I'm going to need you to be more specific."

Dozens of questions raced through your mind, but you only managed to ask the one tearing you apart with jealousy. You pushed to voice that screamed at you, saying 'you're being too blunt' back in its place.

"Does Lily know your secret?"

Remus sighed. He parted his lips and then pushed them back together. You fathomed that he was getting irritated from the twitch of his hand.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't bring this up again–"

"Does she?"

"She does."

"You told her."

"She figured it out herself," he arched his brow at you eloquently. You despised the meaning behind that expression. It mocked you, claiming that you were not as bright as another.

"Of course, she did," You turned your side to him and opened the cover of your book. Little did he know you had figured everything, too. Except, you waited for his confiding.

"Alright, that's it," Remus shut the cover back to regain your attention. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Y/N, you've been picking fights for the last bloody month. And I try, I really, really try to be patient but I don't understand what your problem is."

Your face wrinkled in confusion.

"Remus, what are you talking about? We were fine until this morning."

Remus held back for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe. But we're having the exact bloody conversation every once a month, and it's getting on my nerves."

This was the last straw for you. Getting on his nerves?

You had been patient with him since the day you became friends.

You had been understanding towards him every time he pushed you away when he was upset and pulled you back for support.

You had been gentle with him every time he snapped at you before full moons and every time he broke your heart after full moons.

And you had been loving him for the last five years, first as your friend, then as a boy, despite his flaws, blemishes and imperfections.

And now he couldn't even handle your resentment?

Anger climbed its way to your chest, burning down every wall you've ever built to keep your heart's secrets hidden away.

Words were scattered across your mind, ready for you to use them as your weapon against the pain havocing in your soul.

You couldn't keep anything in anymore.

"You know what's getting on my nerves, Remus? You being a liar–"

"I am a liar?"

"Yes. Yes, you fucking are. You have been lying to me for the last five years, and I've been bloody patient.

You think you're being patient? Well, try being best friends with yourself. Someone who lies to you, keeps secrets from you, but tells you you're his best friend, and then fucking repeats everything again."

"I asked you to give me time!"

"And I did! I've been understanding towards you and acted dumb every time you gave me nonsense excuses like you did today."

Remus shook his head.

"You're being selfish."

"I am being selfish?" your eyes widened in disbelief. He truly had the gall to call you selfish after five years of his lies, excuses, and your espousing only for his sake.

"It's not always about you, you know. I just wanted to spend some time with Lily tomorrow, it's not an excuse."

You sniggered, awed by the way he could lie so easily.

"How come even Evans knows you better than me?!"

Remus clenched his jaw and rose up to his feet. You knew he was trying his best to keep himself collected, not to take out the anger on you, but you had had enough. You looked up to the veins popping up on his neck from your seat when he raised his voice.

"She figured everything out herself! It's not my fault that you can't do that!"

"So, now I have to try to solve you out by myself? That's not how friendships work, Remus! You're supposed to trust me-"

"No! I don't have to do anything! I've had fucking enough. I don't owe anyone anything, including you. Remus this, Remus that. Everyone has something they want from Remus. Everyone rubs their so-called favours and sacrifices into my face, always demanding something in return-"

"I've never even once harped on anything I did for you! I only wanted you to open up to me-"

"And the only thing I asked from you was patience! Fucking patience!" he dashed at you, grabbing you by the sides. "But here you are, bringing up the same bloody thing every month like a broken record! So yes, you are the most selfish girl I've ever met!"

His words cut through your heart like a sword, the same sword you had placed in his hand.

You looked at his dilated pupils and how they almost swallowed the gentleness of the brown you always loved.

You blinked the tears away that were threatening to invade your vision and swallowed the lump in your throat down.

Patience, he had said. Time, he had said. You were selfish, he had said.

An unfamiliar surge of acrimony washed you down, anger flaming in your chest. Its white flames swallowed your love for the boy whole, echoing his words from nothingness.

You pushed him away as hard as you could. He tottered a few steps back, eyes softening at your raged visage. In a blink, you were up from your seat and closed the distance between you two.

"You want patience? I have been patient when you let everyone in but me. I've been patient when you pushed me away in the second year after learning about your father. When you snapped at me for worrying about you. When you yelled at me because I wanted to touch the scar on your face."

Remus parted his lips, but you held your hand to stop him from talking. With every sentence, your tone was soaring, the tears were prickling your eyes, and you had let go.

"Don't interrupt me! I'm not done. I gave you time when you got 'sick' every month and didn't let me see you or when you cried in my lap but refused to talk to me later. I gave you time when you didn't speak to me for days because you were angry and when you lied to me every month because you didn't trust me enough!

You want time and patience?!

I have given you my time and patience for the last five years and have been loving you for the past three, Remus! So don't you ever dare to call me selfish!"

You snapped your mouth shut, letting the wave of fury and relief wash over you. Remus's eyes changed into something new, something you had never learned about him.

Only then did a stronger feeling hit you: dread.

You had confessed your love for him.

His eyes were heavy with emotion, the crease between the brows still reminding you of his anger, while the benign brown lit up the hope inside your soul.

"You what?" a whisper left his mouth, so low that you wouldn't be able to hear it if it wasn't dead silence in the library.

You didn't repeat yourself. You didn't even reply to him. You simply turned away and dashed out of the library.

xxxxx

When you woke up the next morning, all you could think about was that it was a full moon today.

You didn't think it would be a good idea to see Remus today, but you were worried about him. You wished to know how he was, where he was, and how he would endure this night. Would he have new scars the following day? Or a headache? Did he love you back?

So many questions and not enough answers.

James and Sirius were in the Quidditch practice, probably Remus and Peter as an audience. You had decided not to join them this time, trying to drown the chaos in your mind with homework instead. Or maybe you were too embarrassed to acknowledge Remus.

Anyhow, one can only tolerate writing an essay to one point.

You slapped your book shut, groaning to yourself when you relived your last memory with Remus. Yesterday was the reason why you hated being angry; you would either cry or lose control of your mouth. And since you had bone both of them in one evening, you were planning on rotting in your room. However, your short span of attention was not helping. With every sentence you managed to put together, Remus's brown eyes would pop up in your mind.

You glanced at the weather; grey clouds and chilly wind. Who would even want to be outside in this weather?

James (and maybe you).

You shook your head and decided that maybe rotting yourself until everyone would forget about your existence was not a good plan, as it was getting boring. Checking the time, you smiled because the Quidditch practice should be finished by now. Thus, you got up and left your dorm room. If only you could make it out of the common room without being seen by Remus.

Sauntering down the stairs, you slowed your steps. Before revealing yourself, you checked the common room and saw James and Peter laughing. No Remus or Sirius. You wondered if Remus told them about your love confession. You hoped not.

Stopping into the room, you made your way to them, putting on a genuine smile. You tried to suppress the anxiety rising in your throat and reminded yourself that these boys were your friends.

"Look who's here," James narrowed his eyes at you. "The traitor."

"I missed only one practice, James."

"He and Sirius are way more dramatic today. James almost asked Evans to marry him this morning."

"Seems like a normal morning, Pete," you said, even though you couldn't help but chuckle. "Where's Sirius, though?"

"He went to see his brother. Said he'll be back in ten minutes or something."

You hummed at James, pushing your lips together.

"And Remus?"

"With Evans, I wager."

The familiar burn in your chest resurfaced.

"I'll go find Sirius. See you guys later."

"You have a death wish, I see?"

You jumped at Sirius's voice. As opposed to what you said to James and Peter, you didn't go looking for Sirius. Instead, you were strolling around the castle yard. You liked how the frigid air sent shivers down your spine, it was refreshing. And you, without a doubt, needed refreshment.

"How'd you know?"

"You're walking around in nothing but your sweater?"

You smiled and shrugged, waiting for him to catch up to you. When he did, he removed his black leather and placed it on your shoulders. You caught the burn on his hand.

"What happened to your hand?"

Sirius glanced at his hand shortly and yanked it back into the pocket of his trousers.

"Ah. Nothing. Snape and I had a little duel just now."

"Sirius, this is getting out of hand. You need to stop."

"Yeah, don't worry. It's going to end tonight."

Your heart dropped.

"What do you mean?"

He burst into laughter, worrying you more.

"I'm going to scare the hell out of that prick, he'll never dare touch me again."

You attempted a smile, though you weren't sure it came out smooth.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius turned to you, patting your arm with his fist. "Don't worry about it. Tell me what made you take a walk in such weather."

Now you were both worried and uncomfortable. Embarrassment was burning your ears up, making you wish that the ground would split in two and swallow you whole. However, you decided to bury the worries and awkwardness. You deserved someone listening to you, after all, so you shared everything with him.

After a few gasps and woahs, you quietened while Sirius was contemplating what to say and how to say it.

"You haven't seen him since?"

You shook your head no.

"Well, he was grumpy this morning, but I don't think it's related to you."

Yet, you were certain that it was related to you.

He was grumpy because he was angry at you. He was grumpy because he didn't return your feelings, and you made him uncomfortable by confessing them. He was grumpy because you just shattered your friendship. Or maybe he was grumpy because it was a full moon.

"I think he hates me now."

Sirius snorted at your declaration. "You're one hell of an overthinker, aren't you?"

When you didn't reply, he pushed you with his side softly, "Hey, come on, it's Moony we're talking about. He can never hate you."

"You can't possibly know that."

"Yes, I can. Remember in the third grade how he literally hated all of us for burning his paper?"

"I mean, he wasn't exactly wrong. We did destroy two weeks' work."

"Exactly. He rained hell upon us for a month. Well, most of us. He didn't touch you, and whenever we would ask him why, he would hit us before saying, 'It would hurt her feelings'."

You smiled at the thought of thirteen years old Remus coddling you.

"I didn't know that."

"You don't know why James changed his wand last year in the middle of the semester, either."

"I thought he broke it."

"Nah, Moony broke it."

Your eyebrows shot up in bewilderment, amusing Sirius. He nodded before resuming to talk.

"James had a brilliant idea to cast a spell on you that would twist your tongue every time you talked. Remus wanted to waver him from it, but he was stubborn, that bastard. So before he could cast the spell, Remus broke his wand in our dorm and made it look like an accident to James."

Your smile grew wider, your eyes tearing up from intense emotions. Remus always knew about your anxiety, and he had always cared enough to help you through it. Whenever you would fidget with your fingers because you were about to give a big speech, he would put his hand on yours to calm them down. Whenever you would sweat because the professor was criticising you in front of the whole class, he would touch his knee to yours to let you know he was there. Whenever someone would make fun of you, he would be the first one to stand up for you.

"I didn't know he had it in him."

"Oh, he has a lot more in him when you are the matter," Sirius side-hugged you, letting you lean in. "You can ask him if you want."

You frowned, about to ask him what he meant but stopped in your tracks when your eyes sorted Remus from the other side of the yard. He was with Lily. Before you could ask Sirius to return to the castle, he yelled from the top of his lungs to make himself heard.

"Oi! Moony!"

"What are you doing?!" you whisper-shouted at Sirius, who was dragging you to Remus's side.

"You can't avoid him forever."

As you got closer and closer to his side, your heart picked up the pace. You didn't feel ready to talk to him today. You were sure you wouldn't be ready tomorrow either.

Lily waved at you two when you made it to their side. You noticed the bags under Remus's eyes and his bouncing leg. You refused to lock your gaze, focusing on Lily's glorious smile. Still, you could feel his burning gaze piercing your heart.

You had tuned out their talking, alerting your mind only to Remus's presence. You didn't hear Lily's giggle or Sirius's mocking tone; you didn't even care what they were talking about.

You only cared that Remus was bouncing his leg, snapping his fingers and rubbing his temple.

You longed to put your hand on his leg to calm it down, hold his hand so that he would stop hurting them, and kiss his temple so maybe it would tender the ache.

Your heart was burning up in your chest, clenching in agony. The agony of being so close and yet so far away from him.

Every tune around you was muffled, slave to even a whisper from Remus, but he wasn't making a single sound.

You had lost count of how many heartbeats were beating in your chest, wasting time by beating away from Remus's heart.

Suddenly, they stopped.

"I have to go," said Remus.

His hoarse tone shattered everything into nothing.

He got up from Lily's side and walked back into the castle. You didn't follow him.

You missed his voice.

The weather was dark and still cold. You clung to Sirius's jacket more tightly. He hadn't asked for it back and said he would take it from you tomorrow.

You should return to the common room; it was neither safe nor clever to wander around at night. And you did. You turned around and started striding to the castle, only to flinch when you saw a figure exiting it.

It was hard for you to distinguish the person, so you followed him. You waited for the light of the full moon to reveal the silhouette's identity to you. You bit down your lip when you saw Severus Snape sauntering towards the Whomping Willow.

He must've lost his mind.

Your heart fastened with Severus's every step, dread of what was about to come sending tremors down your body. Your fingers itched in anticipation.

You hid behind a bush and watched him with terror. It was dark at night. It was a full moon. You were near the Whomping Willow.

Why did you even follow Snape?

When he finally crossed the safe proximity, the tree started moving. Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes unable to blink.

You waited for the tree to frantically shake and sway its branches. You waited for it to injure Severus or maybe even kill him.

But it didn't.

The moment it started to move an inch, it stopped. You thought maybe Snape had cast a spell; you could only see his back.

He slowly approached the tree, disappearing into a hole under it.

You rose to your feet and took a few steps towards the tree. You felt uncomfortably vulnerable at that moment, standing out in the open where you could get attacked by every side and wouldn't even be able to prevent it.

What if the tree starts moving when you're near?

Where did Snape go?

Should you even be here?

If there was only one question you knew the answer to, it was the last one.

You wanted to return to the castle and forget about all this in the morning. You truly did. However, you figured that there was no turning back when you heard a howl and a scream coming from the hole.

You jumped back with fear, oblivious to the yelp that left you.

Your first instinct was to run. Run away as fast as you could, without looking back, but something deep in your conscience didn't let you flee.

What if Snape was alone out there, and he needed help?

What if he was injured?

You cursed under your breath and took one more step towards the tree.

Your heart was pounding in your ear, competing with the sound of the howl down on the ground. You convinced yourself that it was the fear that made the howling sound closer than before.

One, two, three.

You exhaled sharply and started running to the hole.

You prayed that the tree wouldn't move.

Your legs made a stop before you could fathom what was happening.

More than one figure emerged from the ground, but your eyes only saw the big, ugly beast. Moonlight was glistening through its thick grey fur, displaying a horrendous sight. The tawny glow in its eyes was impossible to miss, as well as its tall and scrawny bone structure. The snarls from the beast were threatening to change into something more dangerous.

Snape was screaming. You could swear you heard James, your name or maybe your own scream too.

However, your eyes never left the beast.

You had seen it in the pictures. You knew what it was.

A werewolf.

Remus.

And it was planning to attack Severus.

Your Remus.

You took out your wand, not even once looking away from the beast. Your mind was chasing every charm you've ever chanted, looking for the best one for the situation.

The beast pounced on Snape with a growl.

Snape slumped into the ground.

The beast towered over him, ready to attack.

You aimed your wand at it, screaming the first thing that came to mind.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

You had diverted the beast's attention, presenting an opportunity for James to save Snape.

"No, Y/N!"

When James's cry tore your mind from the shock, you understood that you had made a mistake.

Spells don't work on werewolves.

A gasp left your mouth when the werewolf directed its attention from Severus to you. You didn't see Snape fleeing or James carefully walking to you. All you could see was the icy light in its eyes glaring at you, sending sheer panic down your spine.

You hesitated to make any more sound, no matter how much you wanted to yell James's name for help.

You didn't know how to fight werewolves, no one had ever taught you that. You didn't want to die, either.

The growl from the beast intensified, sending you enough signals that the inevitable was close. With your every step back, it was taking a step forward.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Y/N RUN!

And you did.

You ran until your lungs gave out, your legs crippled, and your heart burst.

You ran until your eyes watered from the chilly air, your nose hurt from the sharp breaths, and your ears echoed the beast's growls.

A branch cut just above your cheek, but you didn't stop.

You ran until you lost control of your mind, giving it up to your body, performing purely under adrenalin.

But the beast ran with you, too. It followed you into the forest, howling and growling, letting you know death was close. Letting you know that the screams drowning in the night were in vain. Letting you know that the tears staining your face were in vain.

Your breaths mingled with your screams, your hair getting into your mouth. Sweat and tears melded into each other, burning up the cut on your face.

Before you could understand what had happened, your body hit the cold ground with a thud. Your eyes clenched shut, taking in pain vibrating through you. You felt the soil staining your face and body. Your weeping turned into a shriek when you felt yourself yanked into the dirt on your stomach.

Your eyes widened with fear when you finally fathomed the claw grabbing your ankle. It dragged you back, hoping to get the claws on your throat, too. Your fingers dug into the earth. You fought to free yourself from the beast. The jagged stones on the ground gashed your forearm. The dirt stung the gash. Your blood glistened under the moonlight. The beast howled. It turned you on your back.

Remus, Remus, Remus.

One last cry left you. The beast raised its claws, towering over you.

Remus.

You closed your eyes. The tears didn't stop.

Moony.

A high-pitched whine soared in the sky. You were sure it didn't come from you. Something hit your hip. You opened your eyes.

A stag.

A stag stroke the beast with its horns in the underbelly, tossing it away from you. The stag jumped over you, attacking the werewolf again. Animalistic voices ascended in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

You crawled behind a large rock and took deep breaths. You knew you had to run. This was your opportunity to flee for your life, but you had exhausted your body. You needed time to recover.

The growls and whines never stopped. They got louder and quieter. Closer and farther. You didn't know.

You raised your head. The Moon was gleaming, casting light your way as if telling you to get going. You couldn't. Not now.

You lowered your head at your hands. They were filthy with dirt, the soil blackening the insides of your nails.Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶d̶u̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶t̶h̶. You moved your left arm, checking the backside of your forearm. T̶h̶e̶ ̶j̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶a̶r̶m̶. You winced at the scar and the fresh blood around it. Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶g̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶n̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶

Without warning, a sob left put your mouth, startling you. You pressed your uninjured hand on your lips, listening around. The voices had stopped. Neither the stag nor the beast was there. You were safe.

Your hands didn't leave your mouth, so terrified that if they did, you would make a noise and lure in the beast again. You knew your body was reacting to the shock and exhaustion, but you despised the tears flooding from your eyes. You needed to get it together and leave the Dark Forest. Albeit the beast was gone, the forest was still dangerous.

You stood up with a groan, not lowering your wand for protection. Your clothes were spoiled, and you were hurting. You looked around to find a familiar way back to the castle.

"Y/N!"

You aimed your wand at the voice, your heart retaking the pace. The voice was familiar, but you were not in the right mind to identify it.

"It's me, hey. Lower your wand," James's gentle voice weakened your muscles, your hand shaking and breath hitching. Relief surged you from head to toe.

You didn't remember when you dropped your wand into the ground and threw yourself into James's warm embrace. You only remembered how he soothed you as you sobbed with exhaustion.

"You alright?" he put a hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist to check you out after you pulled away from the hug. You nodded, feeling his gaze on your injured arm.

"Where were you?" You didn't recognise your own tone, rasp and brittle.

"Here. With you."

Something hit you in the gut. A realisation twinkled in your mind, finally comprehending the depth of 'Prongs'.

"You were the stag."

He smiled at you. "I knew you were a bright witch."

James Potter being an animagi wasn't the first priority for you tonight.

"What happened to..." you couldn't let out the rest of the sentence. The beast. R̶e̶m̶u̶s̶

"I led it back to the Whomping Willow."

The next moments passed with silence, you two walking together to the castle and James subtly keeping his hand behind your back to make sure you were fine. You relived everything from the beginning, this time making sense of the incidents. You had so many questions and even more feelings gushing in you.

"I don't understand, James."

"Hmh?"

"Why was Snape there? Where were Sirius and Peter?"

You heard James clear his throat. His tone changed from gentle to furious in a moment.

"Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. That bastard thought it would be a good prank. He told me later because he had started to second-guess himself," he retorded, "Peter was also there, you just didn't see him. I sent him to make sure Severus gets into the castle safely."

No.

You shook your head, not believing your ears. This couldn't be what Sirius meant by handling the Snape problem. You didn't want to believe it. Not because you were thinking too highly of Sirius but because you imagined how devastated Remus would be the next morning. You knew how much he trusted his friends.

"Remus..." you muttered under your breath, earning a hum from James that signalled him thinking the same thing.

"Sirius will be in big trouble. I'm sure Snape had already run to Dumbledore."

You turned to James with widened eyes, he talked before you could panic.

"Don't worry. He didn't see me as the stag or see Peter at all. That's why I was belated. I'm sorry I couldn't make it there sooner."

"Thank you for even making it there," you whispered, closing your eyes when the castle entered your sight. You avoided thinking about the possibility that James might not make it in time. What would happen then was something tragedic you never wanted to admit. "Will you see Remus tomorrow morning?"

James looked at you with such intense emotion that you thought he was pitying you.

"I will but–"

"I want to be there with you."

"No, Y/N, listen," he scratched his chin. You stared at him in question.

"I will have to explain everything to Remus tomorrow. And by that," he said, "I mean everything."

"James, I want to–"

"No. I don't want you to be there when I tell him how he almost killed you. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be there either."

"But it's not his fault–"

"That's not what he's going to think in the morning. I'll talk to him alone. Don't insist."

This was the most serious you had ever seen James Potter. Thus, you knew he wasn't going to back down. So, you didn't insist.

By the time you were in the common room, your body had calmed down, now only exhibiting exhaustion symptoms. James hugged you one more time before sending you to your dorm room.

"Shower with warm water and go to bed. I'll be in the common room if you can't sleep."

You wanted to ask him why he didn't go to sleep, but you couldn't even part your lips. So you simply offered him a weak smile and headed straight to the bathroom. The girls in your room were already asleep, meaning you had to be extra careful not to wake them up.

You scoffed at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Frantic hair, shrunk pupils, a cut on your cheek and dirt on your face. As if all these weren't enough, the gash on your arm was throbbing with pain, blood staining your sweater and maybe even Sirius's jacket too.

You stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean you thoroughly. You clenched your teeth to suppress the groan you wanted to let out of pain from your cuts. The black dirt left you as the water stroke down your body, helping you get this night out of your skin.

Your eyes were glued to the dirt getting washed away, harking back to how the beast hauled you onto the ground. Your skin still remembered the burn from the rough friction.

You couldn't close your eyes, you couldn't even blink. Every time you did, a pair of two glistening yellow eyes would stare at you, threatening to hunt you down if you kept your eyes closed a second more. If you thought about the beast a little bit more, you were sure you would have a panic attack.

So you let your mind wander around something else.

Brown locks, chocolate eyes and pink lips.

Your lips curved when you recalled his soft voice, the way he called you dove. You warmed up, and not because of the water but because of the memory of how Remus gently stroked your hair. How he wiped away your tears. How he braided your hair perfectly after begging Peter to teach him. How he had always given you something hand-made on your birthdays because he couldn't buy anything.

You missed him. You missed the gentle smile he was always offering you. You missed your tender bickering and his teasing innuendoes.

You had missed your best friend, and no matter what would happen tomorrow, you were going to talk to him.

You couldn't sleep well that night. You even had a nightmare about what happened.

James was late in the dream; you died in the end.

So you stayed up all night, only being able to dive into sleep when the air was lightening up, turning into sapphire blue. At the same time of the day, Remus was turning back to his human self. You would chuckle at the irony if you weren't sleep deprived.

When you woke up, your heart was hammering in your chest. Your roommate was beside you, a glass of water in her hand. You felt sweat drops in your neck and temple; you must be having another nightmare, then.

She offered you the glass, which you gladly accepted.

"Thank you," you said rather hoarsely.

"It's almost five in the afternoon, hun."

You sat up in your bed, brushing your hair back with your hands. You had a terrible headache.

"It is?"

"Aye. You sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Lizzie, thank you," you smiled at her before leaving the bad. You were both grateful and uneasy that you had missed the most part of the day. This meant that Remus had already learned about the prank.

You eyed yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked way better than yesterday night, undoubtedly. Your face had gained its colour back, and your frenzied eyes were glistening with something other than horror. The only flaws were the small cut on your face and the new eyebags.

You got ready and went down to the common room. Because it was Sunday today, the common room was crowded with students.

Your eyes searched any of the Marauders but failed. They weren't here, and you were hungry. You made your way to the Great Hall, accompanied by nice growls from your stomach. Fortunately for you, it was dinner time.

You were too focused on the food before to find yourself a seat, so you didn't notice anyone approaching you. You flinched when a kind hand touched your arm.

"Y/N?"

"Oh, hiya Lily."

The red-haired girl smiled at you with emerald eyes. She pointed to a corner around the table with her finger. "Potter asked me to call you."

Your eyes found James, who looked as tired as you but still managed to put on a simpering smile. "Cheers," you said to Lily.

You sat next to him, stuffing your plate. Your stomach growled harder at sight.

"How are you feeling?" James asked, watching you nibble on a toast.

"Have been worse. You?"

"Have been worse."

You knew what you had to ask him, but you also knew you needed your appetite at the moment, or you would starve yourself. So you simply hummed and hastened to finish your meal.

You tried not to think about the two empty seats as you sipped your drink. James and Peter were having small talk, trying to lighten the mood. You didn't listen to that either.

You swallowed your last piece as slowly as possible, delaying the inevitable. James looked at you briefly, and you understood what it meant. He raised from his seat, having you follow him.

When you two found an abandoned corner, you turned to him, tuning out the racing of your heart.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" he pointed under your eyes with a nod of his head. You shook your head.

"Did you talk to him?"

Unfamiliar gloom darkened James's features. "I did. Told him everything."

He glanced at you before averting his eyes away again. "He just listened. Thanked me in the end and said he wanted to be left alone."

Your heart clenched in pain. You didn't want him to be left alone. "Where is he?"

"Dunno. Didn't look for him."

"Where's Sirius?"

James stayed silent for a few seconds. "Dunno, either. We had a fight, but my guess is somewhere in the forest in his animagi form."

You didn't dwell on it any further. You loved Sirius, but you loved Remus more than anyone. Albeit you weren't furious at him, you still didn't plan on seeing him any sooner.

"I need to talk to Remus, James."

"I truly don't know where he is."

You had to find him. You had to find him and tell him that it wasn't his fault.

You nodded at James, mumbling a quick bye before wandering around the castle, trying to figure out where he could be.

He wouldn't go to the library. It would be an easy guess for anyone trying to find him.

James said Sirius would be outside of the castle. You were sure Remus wouldn't risk encountering him.

That left you two or three places that you knew Remus would run whenever he wanted to avoid people. So you got going.

You didn't find him at Room of Requirement or Hospital Tower. You cursed the school for being this large in area. It took you almost an hour to get from one side of the castle to another. Fortunately, you were sure Remus was on the Astronomy Tower.

As you got closer and closer to the tower, anticipation chased your heartbeats high, your hands fidgeting with their fingers. You took a moment to regulate your breathing, which had no effect on your pacing heart.

Without wasting one more moment, you entered the tower.

There he was, sitting on the ground, his head low between his hands. Around him was cold and dark, gleaming with the light from the Moon and stars. Your heart ached at the sight of him. You stepped forward, letting the sound of your footsteps alert him. He didn't acknowledge you, but you were sure he had heard you. Heartbreak burned through you, maiming you because of the distance between you two.

Your steps stopped next to him. He still hadn't looked up to you but hadn't asked you to go away either. So you sat next to him, raising your head to gaze at the stars while his head was low between his hands.

"The stars are beautiful, Remus."

He didn't budge. He didn't even move. You peeked at his chocolate-brown hair, suppressing the urge to mess with them.

"Your hair looks nice today."

Silence. You didn't know if he was ignoring you or simply ignoring everyone, and it wasn't something about you.

"Doesn't your neck hurt?"

"No."

You gulped when his voice echoed in the air.

"It must hurt if you've been keeping it like that for a long time."

"It doesn't."

"Liar."

Silence again. You yearned for his voice once more.

"You can put your head on my shoulder, Remus."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Go away, dove."

His voice was fragile and pleading. It broke your heart, shattered it into million little pieces. A lump made its way to your throat.

"Why?" you asked, a voice as broken as your heart. "I don't want to go away."

"But I want you to," he loosened his fingers from his hair, dropping them to his lap.

You turned to him. "Don't push me away, Remus."

You reached for his hand, but he gently pulled them away. "Remus, please."

He shook his head, still not looking at you.

"I need to know why you don't want me here."

He left your side, ambling to the parapet of the tower and leaning to it. You stared at his back in disbelief.

"Remus-"

"Go away, Y/N."

"You won't even look at my face when you kick me out."

Finally, he snapped his head and locked eyes with you. His eyes looked tired, blazing into yours. He had a new scar under his lower lip, from James's horns, probably.

"Go away."

You stood up, frowning in annoyance. "No, I'm not going anywhere," you took stern steps in his direction and closed the disturbing distance. "We need to talk, Remus."

You adored his amber eyes despite your annoyance. You loved to dive into its depth and get lost, sorting out every colour one by one.

He stayed where he was, but you detected his eyes lowering from your eyes. He stared at the cut above your cheek, clenching his jaw.

You unconsciously turned away and hid it from Remus. Memories flooded in a blink and raised the panic inside you. You could still feel the wind hitting your face and the sting from the branch that cut your skin as you fled for your life from the beast.

"It's nothing," you uttered.

Remus scoffed at your face. You saw his eyes change into something harsh and his brows furrow.

"Yeah, sure. The cut in your arm is also nothing."

You didn't ask how he knew that. After all, James did tell you that he would let Remus know everything.

"It'll heal."

"And why is it there in the first place?"

Remus took a step forward when you didn't answer.

What were you supposed to say? Because his wolf form chased you down, and you got injured trying to flee?

"I'll tell you why," he said, voice raised. "Because I hunted you down, tossed you to the ground, and yanked you around. I only did it so I could kill you."

"No–"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about? How I'm a bloodthirsty monster whose first instinct is to kill?"

"You weren't yourself."

"What would happen if James wasn't there?"

You pushed your lips together and closed your eyes. This was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

"No, open your eyes," he raised your head by your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. "Tell me what would've happened if James wasn't there."

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to invade your vision. Remus made you relive the same nightmare you had that night over and over again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need you to understand! I need you to understand that I'm not someone you can fucking love!"

You startled in your place, both by his anger and claim. Something had burst into flames inside you now that he had finally acknowledged your feelings.

You opened your mouth to quarrel, to tell him he's wrong, and that you loved him more than anyone or anything in the world. But he didn't let you interrupt him.

"You think I haven't thought about what you said in the last two days? You haven't left my mind for even a bloody second!" his tone was raised but broken.

"You were the one pushing me away!"

"Because I wanted to keep you away from all this shit! I wanted you to see me as something other than a cursed boy. Why do you think I never shared that secret with you?!"

"That secret is part of your story, Remus. If you thought that I wouldn't love you with it, you must've been out of your mind."

You didn't think he understood the depth of your love for him, and you needed him to understand. It didn't even matter if your feelings were not returned.

He shook his head no.

"No one, Y/N, no one loves a monster like me."

"I do," you pleaded.

Words weren't enough to convince him or express your love for him, but you were trying.

He took your arm in his hand and pulled the left sleeve of your sweater up, revealing the gash. You tried to pull your arm back, but he overpowered you, tightening the hold on your arm. You grimaced when his fingers pushed on the scar.

"This is what happens when you love someone like me."

You used your whole strength and tugged your arm back. You marvelled at your tone when you spoke.

"Stop it! You weren't yourself, Remus!"

"How does that even change anything?!" he screamed, his voice breaking and his eyes tearing up. "Don't you understand? I am a danger to you!

"Remus–"

"You think this is easy for me?! I have fucking lost my mind these last two days because you were the only one in it! My brain wouldn't think of any name other than yours! My heart wouldn't beat for any name other than yours! And when I am finally ready to tell you that I love you, too, James comes and tells me that I almost fucking killed you!"

His eyes were blood red, and the veins in his neck had popped up. Tears left his red eyes and paved the way down from his jawline to his neck.

Remus was crying.

It was a sight you had never got used in the last five years.

Your mind refused to work, denying to comprehend the words that left his mouth. It was all too much, and all in one moment.

"You love me, too?'

You didn't recognise your own voice, probably because all you could hear was Remus's confession. You expected your heart to race this time also, but instead, it was dead silent. Or maybe you were just too focused on Remus's eyes.

His tears never stopped, and he never tried to stop them.

He was breaking down at last.

You walked up to him and closed whatever distance was left. You looked up into his eyes as he lowered them to you.

"But you didn't kill me," you whispered, bringing your hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes, raining more tears on your hand. You gently wiped them away.

"I'm here, Remus. I'm here, and I'm telling you that I love you. I don't love you despite your curse, I love you with it."

Remus scrunched up his face, letting out a sob before sinking his head down your shoulder. You felt his tears on your neck.

At that moment, you knew no words would ever soothe the storm in his heart.

So you held him as he bawled like a child.

His crying sent daggers to your heart, ripping it open.

You begged for his pain to become yours so that he would never hurt the way he was hurting now.

You didn't know how many minutes past. All you knew was Remus's sobs and whimpers hurt you like nothing else ever did.

You didn't let go when the heavy sobs turned into heavy sighs or when the tear-fall in your neck turned into warm breaths.

You caressed his hair and kissed his neck when he calmed down. When he talked, it was gritty and low.

"I'm a monster, dove. A monster that will tear you to pieces if you get near."

"I love you," you whispered. You felt him let a short, breathy scoff to the crook of your neck.

"I attacked Snape last night like a beast."

"I love you."

"I almost killed you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You shut your eyes, breaking your face into a tiny smile. Four words, one sentence, and his lips close to your neck was all you needed for revival.

Remus inched away from your neck, lingering his lips next to your wound. The red in his eyes hadn't worn off, but the brown of his eyes was blazing with affection.

You drew a sharp breath when he kissed above your cheek.

He caressed the nick lengthwise with tender pecks. His hand grazed your other cheek while the other one made its way to your waist.

You held your breath when he lowered his lips, hovering them above your lips. His hot breath tingled your face, you fought the urge to close your eyes.

He whispered your name, and that's when you gave in. You closed your eyes and unknowingly parted your lips.

One second lasted one year.

Something flamed up down in your chest when you felt Remus's soft lips on yours. He kissed your lips gentle and soft, but short. Pulling back, he stared into your eyes, chestnut brown darkening with every second.

"I love you," he whispered.

Within a blink, his lips crashed into your lips again, this time more intense, more passionate, taking away the air in your lungs. You melted to his touch, letting his lips savour yours while his hand on your waist tugged you closer. Your breaths mingled together, leaving your heart fluttering in your ribcage.

If time had stopped and trapped you at this moment, you wouldn't complain.

You craved his scent on your soul, his touch on your body and his lips on your lips. But most importantly, you were more than glad to be buried in his love.

He pulled away and smiled at the way you filled your lung with air. You felt his thumb caress your face.

"There's no getting rid of me, now, dove."

His smile was tired, his eyes still carrying the heartbreak of yesterday. You knew he was still a broken boy inside, but you loved him anyway.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think!

if you enjoyed my writing and this fic, please, buy me a cofee <33

2K notes · View notes

popponn · 10 months

Text

a boyfriend package. [itoshi rin x reader]

summary: itoshi rin is good at soccer. itoshi rin is not good at jokes and cheering up, but for you, he tries anyway. (aka, you are stressed and rin is there.)

notes: this fic had so much thought but the main is "if you have itoshi rin on your side you could probably do anything". to everyone at uni and school, good luck. warning: other than minor curses, none. fluff, reader's gender unspecified, post canon au, reader is a student struggling against exams & essays.

“You are not done yet?”

You, a student who had probably resembled a zombie more at this point, lift your head up from the materials you were supposed to finish within two days. There were certainly other problems you were facing, however, you had no strength to gaze at them at the moment. Instead, you landed your eyes on your boyfriend, leaning against the doorway of your room with two cups of store-bought coffee. Which was hilarious—Itoshi Rin, a solid football career, an aloof reputation which was very true, and no educational deadline because of said football career.

Wait—does Itoshi Rin even drink coffee?

Your brain couldn’t really remember that piece of information.

It could curse out your very lovely and handsome Rin out of envy though. You wished him a very slow internet connection until your freedom next week.

Hearing how the voices in your head had started complete nonsense, you shook your head and returned your focus back to the wall of letters that didn’t seem to have an end in front of you. It would be better for you to save your words and thoughts for this seemingly unending hurdle, instead of using it to say things about the very kind Rin who bought you coffee.

Though, you did remember what one of his friends posted on Finestagram yesterday. A picture of a bunch of guys having fun outside. A hand around his shoulder in an act of friendliness and a very clear time that was spent pleasantly. Without pressure too, on top of that. Fuck—you tried not to cry—you are so jealous of them.

“Hey, did you hear me?”

Oh, right.

You forgot to reply to him.

“Not yet,” you smiled bitterly, “there are still some more left.”

Which was an understatement. Around two thick piles of papers awaited you.

As it was, Rin didn’t even bat an eyelash at your response nor to the faraway look you gave to the tower of books on your desk. He, however, did put a cup of coffee right beside your left hand. On that cup, a smiling mascot with a peanut shape said something about enjoying your time. You didn’t know if the correct choice to that was to bawl or to laugh like a madman.

You were half-asleep after eight hours of cramming and your brain felt like it was burning. In the end, even a tear or a chuckle was a bit beyond your capability at this point.

“…hey,” Rin said again, flatly. A hand awkwardly placed itself on one of your shoulders.

“You sure say a lot of ‘hey’ today,” you noted, leaning your head, slotting it on his stomach. His muscles were hard, but the proximity did comfort you. “…what is it though?”

“…if I drive, and you say ‘stop, deer’,” Rin began awkwardly, out of nowhere with a voice that trembled slightly as if he was under an incredible weight, “I will say ‘yes honey’.”

You stopped breathing at what he just said. No matter how scattered your brain was, you immediately snapped him a bewildered look. You knew you were on the verge of insanity, but Rin—

“What.”

You had been dating him for two years and more and Rin—as much as you love him—is definitely not a joke guy. Did he got possessed? Was it because he drank coffee?

As you ransacked your brain for an answer, you watched an explosion of red on Rin’s face reaching his neck. As that hue stayed on his face, unbudging, Rin’s face turned sour and darkened as he muttered some violating insults that seemed to be directed at Bachira and Otoya.

You raised an eyebrow at that. “Rin. What? Huh?” you repeated, trying to grasp the situation. “Who put you into this?”

You knew you were risking your study in what could end up being a prologue to two murder cases, but that joke was bad enough that it restarted your brain. You would risk a 4-hour delay because honestly what could make Itoshi Rin joke—

Oh.

As the silence between Rin and you stretched, you realized how he seemed to lose the courage to see you in the eye. A red face that was as bashful as it looked like a face belonging to a terrible stomachache patient, yet the comforting pressure Rin gave to your shoulder as he rubbed his thumb—suddenly, it was as clear as day.

This fine dumbass of yours was trying to cheer you up, it seemed.

You laughed out loud at that—perhaps a bit too high-pitched with too much wheezing. However, imagining Rin taking a page from his friends’ books—fuck you hate those words so much still right now but yet—just to cheer you up, it is adorable. And, Rin seemed to accept your ugly chortles as his eyes finally moved to you again.

“Did—” you wheezed again, your whole body still shaking as you pressed your chin to his hip. The smell of Rin’s detergent was your preferred fragrance, widening your smile even more, “—did Bachira and Otoya put you into this? Is that why you cussed them out?”

“Don’t come up with your own conclusion,” Rin scolded with a tone that spelled out relief and fondness.

“Then, what is it? Tell me—you just made a joke. A pun. That’s something,” you teased. In the back of your mind, a heavy static was still present, yet you really couldn’t mind their presence with Rin beside you like this.

Rin grunted and messed up your head, looking down at you with a look that was certainly too soft for his cold & cool guy brand. “Shut up. That’s none of your business.”

“Aw, come on! Tell me!” you protested. Rin shook you off as you started to try and pull his cheeks with your grubby hands. Walking away, he pulled a stool that he had left behind in your room after his tenth visit to your house many months ago.

“No,” Rin said curtly, leaving no room for protest as he tapped your laptop screen lightly. “Now get back to studying.”

At the reminder, it was your turn to wear a sour glum on your face. “Ugh.”

He glared half-heartedly at you. Bumping a knee against your chair slightly. “Don’t fucking say ‘ugh’.”

“But…” you wanted to say that you still wanted to tease him a bit more. You wanted to just do something with him a bit longer. Returning to the passage of curses meant that you couldn’t do that.

Rin looked at you for a moment. You couldn’t fathom what went through in his mind as you glanced at him. However, whatever it was, it pushed Rin to get his face closer to you.

Then, before you could even react to it, Rin pressed a light kiss on top of your forehead.

It was soundless in the way it was surprising. Your eyes were wide as Rin pulled away and returned to his previous position. This time, the red hue and his inability to look you in the eye returned. Looking towards anywhere but you, Rin perched his chin on top of his palm.

“Hurry up and study,” Rin ordered once again. “I will accompany you today, so stop whining.”

There was a prime chance for you to tease him about not practicing instead. Yet, for a solid 30 seconds, all your brain had become was a mush and an incoherent noise. Rin probably should take some responsibility and you should demand so—

Yet, you could only smile and return to your study. Hooking your ankle with one of Rin’s just so you could feel him close still.

“You owe me a kiss and a treat after this.”

“I bought you coffee already.”

“Oh, Rin—come on, I need motivation—”

“Fucking finish it first.”

Afterward, you pulled out a miracle by finishing everything within 3 hours and the rest was history.

638 notes · View notes

cheezeybread · 3 months

Note

Hello :) My request is MC/Yuu overblotting- but not with magic! What I picture is them having a nervous breakdown. It starts off with them hyperventilating and being unresponsive. Then it devolves into them screaming their head off until their voice starts going hoarse and hitting anyone who tries to touch them. Maybe even throwing and destroying things. Afterwards, they refuse to speak to Crowley- even avoiding him- due to his role in their breakdown. In my mind their breakdown is caused by long term stress and triggered by Crowley telling them that there is no way for them to go home.

YES

I love this idea, it's been bouncing around in my brain for so long <3

TW // Harsh language, violent depicitions, graphic metaphors, ANGST

Uhhhh, I took some creative liberties here and there, so some things (mainly regarding Idia and Malleus because I haven't gotten up to their books in the game and refuse to look up spoilers LMAO) may not be 100% canon oopsies!

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You were starting to feel exhausted.

Well, that was an understatement, You had felt exhausted ever since you arrived at NCR...but this feeling was something slightly different. It was like a nagging sensation, yet also like some sort of wet rag placed over your mind at the same time. It was concerning, to say the least, but it was something you would have to shrug off until you could find the free time to fix it.

Which most likely wouldn't be anytime soon, knowing how the days went for you.

Grim was always priority number one. Keeping him out of trouble meant constantly keeping an eye on him, de-escalating any fights that he might try to kick up if left alone for a single moment. And since the two of you were technically one student, that meant that his grades were yours. Even though he was the only one out of the both of you that could use magic, he still slacked off at every turn, which left you to straighten every corner he tried to cut, finish every project that he wrote one sentence on and left, finish every alchemy potion he left bubbling on the cauldron, even if you had your own stuff to complete.

Then there were the tasks given to you by Crowley, your "ever so kind" benefactor. Despite his school getting you into this mess in the first place, Crowley considered it your fault, and as such, made you complete various chores to earn your weight around school. Which, paired with your classes, made for a day in and of itself. This isn't to include the yard-long to-do list he gave you at the start of every week, most of the points looking suspiciously like tasks the Headmaster was supposed to do himself...

And there were the students. Some you didn't know tried to kick up fights with you, knowing you couldn't use magic back on them. So you had to learn to avoid these students, or make sure you were always traveling with a friend. And as for your friends, every single one came to you with their problems day in and day out. A dorm dispute, so they needed to crash at Ramshackle for the night and eat all of your food. An overblot. More fights. Homework. Tutoring sessions. Projects they needed your help with.

You shook the thoughts out of your mind and continued walking to class with Grim, the Direbeast nestled in the crook of your arm as you balanced both yours and his schoolbooks in the other arm.

"And then, Ace was all like-" His voice sounded unusually high-pitched today. Or maybe that was just your imagination? Either way, it was giving you a headache.

"YN!" Another voice called out, the owner quickly jogging up to you. Ace and Deuce, ever the duo. You nodded your head at them in greeting, as Grim twisted his head around to look at them.

"Ace! Hah, I was just telling YN about what happened yesterday in the courtyard!" At the mention of the incident, Ace's face blanched, and the boy looked uncomfortable and ashamed.

"Oh, you mean with him and Professor Crewel?" Deuce spoke up, laughing already "Yeah, that was hilarious- remind me again, why exactly did he-"

"YN!" Now came one of the twins- normally you wouldn't have much of an issue telling them apart, but your head was starting to pound even harder now, making your vision a little blurrier. The fact that he didn't greet you with a nickname most likely meant that it was Jade.

"Oh...hey," You greeted, your brows furrowing from the pain in your head.

"Have you been to the greenhouse recently? I seem to have misplaced-"

"SHRIMPY" Ah, and there was twin number two. You felt your shoulders being constricted in a strong hug, much to Grim's dismay

"STAWPIT, YOU'RE CRUSHIN ME!" The Direbeast yowled, practically clawing himself out of your arms and jumping down onto the ground.

"Yo, YN, are you alri-" Ace started, but he, too, was interrupted

"YN!" Oh great! You recognized the Headmaster's annoying voice anywhere. And he waltzed up to you with all the elegance of an unpolished piece of charcoal, one hand reaching out to pull your arms free of Floyd's vice grip, and his other hand dropping a stack of papers into your now-outstretched arms. "Please, finish all of these by the end of this week, if you don't mind. It's papers for the senior's internships this year, and they need to be signed to be official, but I'm much too busy doing...other things...to be bothered."

"Are you still looking for a way to get me home?" You heard yourself mumble out loud, without even thinking of asking that question in the first place. But you had made it a habit to ask Crowley every time you saw him, so perhaps it was just muscle memory.

"Oh!" He chirped, straightening the front of his suit "Ah, yes, well, in my infinite wisdom, I have found out the reason to your barging in on our new-year's orientation, how you came to be here. But as for you returning, hmm, yes, I have managed to conclude that it is thoroughly impossible."

He said it so casually that it took you a moment to digest what had been said.

The students around you had gone silent, and you could feel their eyes all turning to you.

"What." Was all you could manage.

Crowley became increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the watch he kept buttoned to his vest, then brushing off his front side, then folding his arms before repeating the process again "It is impossible to return you home, I'm afraid," he said with as much bravado as he could muster "Now, as for your stay here, since there is nothing left that I can do, you will need to continue to work for-"

Everything seemed to crumble around you in that exact moment. The feeling of damp, dreaded annoyance that had been bubbling up in the back of your mind all day came to the surface at once, and you couldn't help but slam your eyes shut tight against the world. You didn't want to see that damn Crow, you didn't want to see your friends, you didn't want to see anybody!

You opened your mouth to speak in that moment, dropping to your knees, but all that came out was a painful, sorrow-filled wail, so loud and so harsh that you could feel the inside of your throat shred with every passing second.

A puddle of black ink started to fill your mind's eye, growing larger and larger until it was all your brain could think of.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Every dorm in the school was based off of one of the Great Seven. All but for the Ramshackle dorm, a long-forgotten piece of trash that rested on the campus of the school rather than in its own pocket dimension like the others.

Every housewarden embodied the spirit of their designated Great.

Riddle Rosehearts idolized the Queen of Hearts, following every law she had set in her chaotic kingdom, becoming as strict and severe with the enforcement of rules as she was.

Leona Kingscholar was a second-born, raised in the shadow of his older brother and sneered at by his people, and now had to live with the knowledge that he would never be a ruler with the birth of his nephew.

Azul Ashengrotto was an octo-mer, much like the Sea Witch, who specialized in contracts with those who were less fortunate and needed a favor.

Jamil Viper, although not a Housewarden, technically, but some would argue that he deserved to be such, was a consultant for the person in charge- someone he viewed as daft and naive to the ways of the world.

Vil Schoenheit, a man who wanted nothing more than to be considered the "Fairest of All", unable to cope with the fact that there was one who might be better than he.

Idia Shroud, a "loner" by typical standards, was born from a family long cursed, a family seen as Pariahs due to their research and studies.

Malleus Draconia, a descendant of Faes, royalty, with horns that rivaled the Great Thorn Fairy's. Despite longing for human interaction, and simply to be included, he was shunned for his bloodline and odd actions.

But you, Prefect of Ramshackle dorm, had no one to model yourself after.

You were nobody.

Every Housewarden Overblotted, one after another, because they couldn't be the spitting image of the great Seven, because of pressure, because they didn't realize that they were only teenagers who didn't have to be perfect.

Riddle overblotted because he couldn't grasp the concept of being wrong. Leona, because he wouldn't be anything greater than a second-born scum. Azul, because all his work was shredded and he was left with no power to put him above those who bullied him years ago. Jamil, because he had enough of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Vil, because he couldn't admit that he wasn't perfect. Idia, because he wanted freedom. Malleus, because he was tired of himself and the hatred others showed him.

Which only left you.

Nobody.

The nobody who landed in this strange new world, a world in which everyone had magic...except for you. A world were you were less than. A world where you were treated like a burden, despite everyone laying all of their problems on you, demanding you fix them. A world where, no matter how hard you tried, you would always, always be less than.

A nobody.

𓆩⟡𓆪

Then entire campus of NCR shook with your rage and sorrow.

The students both outside and inside stopped, simultaneously looking at whoever was closest to them before running to the source of the wail.

Everyone was silent. What could they do?

It was an overblot, the school's nurse would officially state later, brought on by stress and pushing yourself past the limit. Although you had no magic to push yourself over the edge with, the sheer amount of mental exhaustion you were being put through would work just as well as an exertion of magic, if not more so. In the privacy of their rooms and dorms, assured that no prying ears would overhear them, the students agreed amongst each other that it was more terrifying of a sight than anyone else's overblot they've seen. Yours was one of pure emotion, without any magic to artifically amplify it. Pure and untainted.

And while anyone else who overblotted could only use their magic, you held something far more powerful.

You held the emotions of hundreds of students at NCR. The most top-notch mages and students look to you with a sense of reverence. Whether you knew it or not, you held the strings of the hearts of them all. With one single word, you could cause any of the Housewardens to level entire cities for you, if only to gain your approval. You held the strings of fate for them all, and your pain and suffering was enough to make the same Housewardens, and anybody else who knew you closely- or even in passing- unable to use their magic for weeks after your breakdown.

They just...couldn't seem to use it. It was as if their magic were broken.

When you ran out of breath, finally getting all of your anger out of your system, you inhaled shakily, putting trembling hands on the ground to steady yourself.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was a speckle of blood on the concrete below you, where your screams had caused your throat to crack and shred. You could see people in your peripheral vision, your friends, not one of them moving towards you.

Directly in front of you, looking as if he were about to make a run for it, was none other than Dire Crowley. You could see the sky behind him, dark and grey. Was it that color before?

"I-" You started, your voice cracking, but nonetheless heavy with emotion. You stood up slowly, your knees buckling at first, but eventually letting you stand up to your full height. You stood as tall as you could, your shoulders straight and your eyes focused straight ahead, drilling a hole through Crowley's head. Your face was wet from tears, and more were threatening to spill, but you didn't care about that right now.

"I'm done with you, Crowley," You spat, your voice holding a level of hatred you didn't know was possible. "I'm done working to make up for your shit. I'm done risking my life for you when I'm defenseless, when I'm stuck in this god-damn world because of you!" You held up an accusing finger, taking a step forward to jab it in his chest. He stepped back, but you stepped forward again, keeping the distance between you two even.

"I never wanted to be here, yet you treat me like I'm some sort of burden who showed up at your door- you force me to work, force me to be the therapist for children who need fucking help! How many overblotting students have I saved, huh? How many of those were ones you ran from, ones you refused to help with?! When have you ever been on my side? When have you ever stopped to think not of yourself, but me? What about ME, you worthless piece of shit?!"

You took another shaky breath, wiping the blood gathering on your lips with your free hand.

Crowley let out a small breath as you lowered your finger, and you turned around in a small circle to look at the crowd of students surrounding you. There were your friends, some looking concerned, other terrified. Grim was being held by Ace in a comforting gesture, the cat-like beast shaking. Some of the students had unreadable looks on their faces. Others looked confused.

"I'm done." You hissed, half to yourself, and half to the students. Although it was low enough so only those a few feet away could hear you speak, the word got around quickly enough, and the throng of students began whispering amongst themselves.

You ignored the offers of helps from your friends, and stormed off, back to the Ramshackle dorm, house of Nobody.

Ruled by Nobody.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst fanfic #twst #twst x you #twst overblot

328 notes · View notes

konuxkii · 3 months

Text

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝙆𝙐𝙍𝙊𝙊 𝙏𝙀𝙏𝙎𝙐𝙍𝙊 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎

HELLO LOVES <3

A/N ; This is just a repost from my former account- I wanted to post something Haikyuu related since the release of the 'Dumpster Battle' movie and why not start with my favorite boy? This is also technically my first real post on this account so woohoo! Warnings : none other than Kuroo being a teasing bastard. Gender Neutral reader/y/n. Just fluff- Also this isn’t proofread because I happen to never proofread my shit so I apologize for any mistakes.

+ If you were the type of person to get embarrassed by what Kuroo considers 'cute things you do' he's never letting that situation/what happened go. Maybe he'll stop bringing it up and you're relieved that maybe he finally forgot and let it go- wrong. He remembers a lot of things especially about you silly + He’s just laughing it off whenever you start yelling at him. telling him not to talk about it and shut up or just your reactions in general whenever he brings up the “embarrassing situation” always makes him laugh. + Seriously, he's never letting it go. It'll be at a random time, random day, you two silently enjoying each others company or when you two are hanging out (with or without people around) and he'll just : "Hey y/n remember when you-" "NO. I don't- LET IT GO ALREADY" + He’d also try to tell other people about it like- “Oh yeah did I tell you? Y/n did the most hilarious thing yesterday! So they-” and you instantly drag him away or interrupt him by bringing up a new subject. And he’s just looking down at you snickering with that smug smile of his- + Aside from the topic of him loving to tease and embarrass you. Kuroo strikes me as the guy to LOVE physical affection and words of affirmation. He's constantly touching you or saying sweet things to you no matter what. When he's with you at school? Or really just anywhere in public. He's holding your hand or his hand rests on your waist/top of your head, or he's leaning down and resting his head on top of yours. He'd give you kisses on the forehead, hand, lips, cheek, anywhere and anytime. He does not care about PDA !! To an extent- + This also includes when you two are also just casually talking, you two are conversing about something dumb you did and he'll just sigh and shake his head with a smile before poking your forehead or cheek, or maybe pulling on your cheek while making fun of you for what you did. He just likes to poke at your face a lot during conversations actually. + He doesn't try to hide the fact he has a massive crush on you. He's constantly waiting outside your class right as it ends, leaning against the doorframe and looking at you with a smirk. He's not shy about the fact that he'll shamelessly send you winks from afar. Whether it's in class or cafeteria. If you pass by him in the hallway he'll look down at you with that smug smile and in that short period of time and greet you with a "Hey pretty/handsome" and then continue walking like it was nothing. + SOMETIMES a lot of times actually. You'll fluster him though without even realizing it. This is a common occurrence when you're staring at him, he'll blink at you for a moment, taking in your appearance..the way you looked at him, the way your eyes look, the way you slowly blink at him, the way- he'd stop is thoughts there before glancing away, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks before saying something about your staring to tease you.

Thank you for reading !!! I would’ve wrote more for the people who don't really get embarrassed (I envy you) or just more in general but tumblr kept crashing and I had to rewrite this like five times so- NO. I also ran out of ideas.. Anyways I'm accepting requests !! I write for JJK, CSM, HAIKYUU, TOKYO REV, and more !! No NSFW. Though I may be very late to requests so I apologize in advance...Have a lovely day / afternoon / night loves ♥

#konuxkii #haikyuu #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq #hq x reader #haikyuu x y/n #kuroo x y/n #kuroo fluff #kuroo haikyuu #kuroo headcanons #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo fanfic

235 notes · View notes

vaguesxrrow · 5 months

Note

can u plsss write one about charles with an american reader? like the inspo is the olivia rodrigo song so american lol. like maybe him making fun of her accent and her doing the and back and like the differences between the two cultures?

ACTUALLY INSANEEE bc right before seeing this i was singing that song in my head (i dont listen to olivia but i probably should tbh). alsoo i wasn't sure if you wanted a fic or hcs, so i kind of made a 2 in 1. hope you dont mind! xx

a/n: im not american nor british and ive never been to the usa or the uk... so excuse any inaccuracies pleaseee

tags: g!n reader, american!reader, alive!reader

you shivered and exhaled sharply, your breath misting out in front of you. the moment you stepped outside, you knew you should have piled on more layers, but edwin had been eager in whisking everyone out the door to carry out an investigation for your current case.

you burrowed closer to charles. obviously, he couldn't provide any real body heat, but being near him was a boost in morale to keep going despite the temperature.

"alright?" he asked, putting an arm across your shoulders.

"i should've put on more layers," you grumbled.

charles laughed as he kissed the top of your head. "you can have my jacket."

shaking your head, you declined. "it's fine, it's not that cold. and besides, i wouldn't want to strip you of your british glory and your british coat."

charles snorted. "so it's my british glory, now? who was the one making fun of my accent literally just yesterday?"

"litch-rally," you parroted, grinning. "why is it that all your t's turn into ch's?"

"hey, you're one to talk - what is it you were ordering at the restaurant yesterday? a glass of wa-der, was it?"

"bite me, charles."

he raised his jacket up and engulfed you with it in a bear hug. you shrieked with laughter and wriggled in his hold, but didn't protest when he demanded you hold your arms out so he could put the jacket on you.

"what are you, a soccer player? i thought i was your [boy/girlfriend/partner], not your competition," you teased.

"soccer?" he mocked, outraged. "soccer? it's football, mate."

"mate?" you scoffed incredulously, although you were smiling. "way to friendzone me after months of dating."

"oh, come on, you know you could never get rid of me." charles pulled you in again, this time by your hand. "and for the record, you look cute wearing my clothes."

a few beats of silence, in which you two looked at each other with similar expressions of fondness and exasperation.

"yeah, okay, now get away from me, you victorian fossil." you shoved him playfully, and sprinted away to catch up with the other three. niko waved you over, giggling at charles, who was jogging to keep up.

"victorian fossil? i grew up in the 80s!" he exclaimed. "you know this!"

⌦ ---

- you do know very well that charles grew up in the 80s - you frequently ask him what it was like back then, because naturally, you'd take an interest in your boyfriend's life

- however, charles loves how you're genuinely interested, and get how watching times change can feel a bit lonely for him sometimes

- you're a great listener when it comes to this (which you think you should be greatly accredited for; charles' good looks can be very distracting at times)

- imagine: you and charles in your room as he looks around, inspecting the decor you have on display as he rambles about life in the 80s

- he tells you about a huge movie premiere he went to:

- charles: "get this, right - a ridiculously long line outside the movie theatre. the weather is absolutely miserable, and so are the people. no one's talking at all. i think everyone was just hungry - i saw this lady have tea delivered.

- you: 'i keep forgetting you have stuff like tea times. and did everyone really have the patience to wait for that long, in silence?'

- charles, with a fake american accent: yeah, dude. in silence.

- you throw a pillow at him.

- you also like telling hilariously bad jokes relating to his accent

- you: psst. charles.

- he turns towards you, already expecting another jab at his british-ness

- you: what day do british people eat the most?

- charles, in a deadpan: what day.

- you: chewsday, innit-

- he yells 'NOPE' and walks through the wall, leaving you to wheeze-laugh on your own

#charles rowland x reader #charles rowland x you #charles rowland/you #charles rowland/reader #charles rowland #dead boy detectives headcanons #dead boy detectives x reader #dead boy detectives fic #dbd #dead boy detectives

181 notes · View notes

foreverisntenough · 28 days

Text

‘OURS - The Epilogue'

Summary: A conclusion to what has happened in the ‘You’re Mine’ sequel 'Ours'

Index: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI - if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the series. 🐑 🤍

Part 1 - 'Sheep'

word count - 7.5 k

“Ready for two and five, beautiful?” Trent cooed early in the morning pulling you closer into his embrace under the duvet.

“Why does he have to be two? It’s too old. He’s just my little baby boy.” You dramatically pouted rolling your bottom lip. Trent leant down and kissed you, wiping the frown from your face. It was Theo’s birthday yesterday and he was officially two, Teddy approaching five.

“I know he’s our big boy now. Absolutely wild. Went so fast. I thought we brought him home yesterday.” Trent replied, kissing your forehead before rustling under the blankets to get more comfortable, sitting back against the headboard behind you pulling you with him. He let out a quiet giggle to himself. You raised your eyebrow inquisitively with a hum. “Nah, he’s actually so sick though, baby. I love him. He’s hilarious.” Trent explained his unprovoked early morning laugh. Theo was very funny and simultaneously very cute. He was smart, happy, and a little shy too. He was easily excited though and loved everything Trent did so it was a good match. Trent loved to fuel the fire, really egg him on. Having a son was everything Trent dreamed of and more.

“Yeah, he’s very cool to be fair.” You giggled thinking of your little boy. He was cool in all honesty. He just had a vibe about him that was ‘cool.’ Theo was the kind of little boy who effortlessly exuded a coolness that was beyond his years. It wasn’t just in how he looked, though he certainly had a style all his own. He loved wearing his tiny trainers, especially ones that he could match with Trent. There was something about the way he carried himself though—an innate confidence and curiosity that made everyone around him smile. He was curious about everything, and it showed in how he approached the world. Theo had this way of exploring that was both deliberate and fearless. Whether he was inspecting the flowers in the garden, fiddling with a new toy to figure out how it worked, or trying to mimic the way his dad played with the football, he did it all with a sense of purpose. That curiosity made him seem wise beyond his years, as if he was always on a little mission to discover something new. What made Theo truly cool, though, was something he very clearly inherited from his dad. He had this laid-back, almost effortless charm that made you want to be around him. He was the kind of kid who could make anything look fun and easy. Theo had this warm, genuine smile that lit up his face and made others smile right back. It was identical to Trent’s. His dimples just the same. He was the type of little boy who would give you a high-five one minute and then, out of nowhere, wrap his little arms around you in a spontaneous hug. It was that combination of being adventurous, curious, and full of love that made Theo undeniably cool, even at such a young age. “Very pretty too, like his daddy.” You continued on before kissing Trent’s cheek. That too, Theo was gorgeous. Theo was a carbon copy. Trent really had said, ‘copy paste’ now twice. He had beautiful big brown eyes, the cutest nose you’d ever seen and apparently all your children were going to be blessed with Trent’s signature pout.

“Mhhmm. Well, you made him so good on you, baby.” Trent joked pulling you into a tighter hug moving kisses down your jaw to your neck.

“I liked making him.” You cooed dropping your tone to a more seductive one as your ran your hands up Trent’s muscular back.

“Yeah? C’mere, make another with me. Let’s try to make an even cuter one.” He teased

“T…” You whined.”We have to go start on said five and two year old’s breakfasts before you go to training.” Despite starting this handsy situation. The reality of your morning wasn’t lost on you. You had about 10 minutes before you were about to hear ‘mama’ non stop till the first nap of the day.

“Yeah, fairs, but I got time though. Always do for you… and besides you’re already wet f’me. Hmm?” Trent had glided his hand over your covered pussy. You knew he did but you hadn’t acknowledged it yet just enjoying the subtly of it all. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t turned on the second you woke up seeing that man next to you. Maybe Teddy and Theo would sleep in a little. Trent was right, maybe you did have some time.

“Mama, want be my best friend?” Teddy asked you with a smile standing beside you as you worked on making Trent’s protein shake at the marble countertop. After your slightly later morning in bed, you’d made it downstairs. She wrapped herself around your leg the moment you entered the kitchen and hadn’t let go since.

“Yeah, baby. You’re my best friend today and everyday… Forever, okay?” You cooed leaning over to kiss Teddy’s hair before standing back up and turning on the blender. Trent winced hearing the loud noise so early. He covered Theo’s ears as he sat in his lap. He just giggled enamored with Trent’s theatrics.

“Ted, you don’t want to be my best friend anymore?” Trent decided to get involved teasing Teddy. He usually was her top choice in best friendship but you weren’t complaining that she was asking you today. In the last year or so she had become more and more interested in all things girly so she was glued to you although her interest in all things Trent didn’t exactly fade any.

“Can have lots of friends daddy, tay?” Teddy informed Trent.

“Yeah, daddy.” You quipped cheekily. “What about you, my Theo baby, will you be mummy’s best friend?” You cooed, exchanging a protein shake for Theo with Trent. Scooping him up from Trent’s hold. Theo eager to be in your arms hugged you ardently smushing his face against your chest.

“My mama. Lub mama.” Theo mumbled against your skin with a nod and sleepy smile eased by the smell and warmth of your body.

“Tees, you’re such a mummy’s boy, huh?” Trent teased squeezing his little leg now dangling.‘Tees’ had just unintentionally become a nickname for Theo. It sort of stemmed from Teddy calling him ‘Tio’ and it just morphed into ‘Tees.’

“Lub Mama.” Theo restated to make his point clear with a bit of a bite. He was in fact a mummy’s boy and he didn’t care. He loved you and thought you were everything. It definitely fed your ego and your heart. When he wasn’t tired and wanted to play, it was Trent and a football constantly but the second he saw you he wanted a cuddle, immediately and not a second later.

“I know me too, mate.” Trent laughed, holding his hands up in innocence. He loved that your kids were so enamored with you both.

“Mummy, dada always with Tio. Not fairs.” Teddy pouted coming to sit on your lap. You were out on the patio in your back garden watching Trent and Theo kick a ball about in the grass.

“Teddy girl, you can go play with them.” You told her pulling her into your lap as you sat on a couch lounger. You cuddled Teddy in her little sweatset. She had adjusted well to Theo’s addition to your family but as Theo grew and began to be able to do more she definitely was aware when things were done without her.

“Like Tio more cause he’s a boy, mama.” She sniffled dropping her face against your jumper. Teddy’s eyes started to fill with tears. You rubbed your hand up her back and kissed her hair.

“No, that’s not true, baby. I’m sorry you’re upset though. Daddy loves you so much. I think you should tell dada that. He would never mean to make you feel left out.” You gently explained to her.

“Dada look!” You heard Theo call out to Trent. “I fast, tays.” You smiled seeing Theo running just because, showing Trent how fast he was. Your heart sometimes ached from how cute he was.

“Yeah go on, mate.” Trent laughed from his seat in the grass. You watched them a little longer until Theo had gotten tired so they made their way to you. Your little boy whined as he normally did longing to be comforted in your arms after he had had his fun with daddy. You took him from Trent and held him to your chest as he sighed cuddling into you sleepily.

“Baby bear, you didn’t want to come play?” Trent asked Teddy naively. Teddy stayed glued to your side. Trent definitely taking note. He didn’t realize he had made some sort of mistake so when Teddy huffed and hugged you tighter he looked to you for some sort of explanation or assistance.

“Teddy girl, can you tell daddy why you’re upset, please? Can’t just pout, baby.” You sympathetically smiled at her before another kiss to her hair. Trent frowned and plopped himself to sit next to her on the couch and pulled her onto his knee.

“What’s going on, baby?” Trent gently asked her tucking a stray curl that had escaped behind her ear. Teddy tearily got out the same explanation she had given to you. “I’m really sorry, sweetheart. You’re my baby bear I would never want to make you sad like this. What if, this week, you come with me to work. Would that be fun? Just Teddy and daddy.” Trent asked her, pressing his nose to her. A cheeky smirk began to pull her pout at its corners. She giggled as he dragged her into his warm embrace. When you had all retreated inside, one baby now very happy and the other very tired. Trent checked with you making sure it was fine if he took Teddy with him to AXA. He could take her in the morning and she could mess about, when he had actual work to do there were people there that would look after her till you’d come with Theo to grab her.

Teddy, being the spirited little girl she was, had been feeling a little left out lately but Trent was trying to rectify things. With Theo getting more attention because he was younger, Teddy decided she wanted some special time with her dad. So, when Trent suggested she come with him to work at AXA,her eyes lit up with delight. She eagerly agreed, her little face bright with anticipation. Once at the training ground, the energy was contagious. The crisp air was filled with the sounds of players shouting, cleats tapping against the ground, and the occasional whistle blowing. Teddy, clutching her own small football, was practically bouncing with excitement. Trent had set her up with a little goal, and they had been kicking the ball back and forth, her giggles ringing out every time she managed to send the ball in his direction. As the day progressed, you arrived at the training ground with Theo. You spotted Teddy on the pitch, her tiny legs pumping as she ran after the ball. Theo, nestled in your arms, seemed more interested in snuggling than joining the fun, clearly feeling tired from the morning's playtime. Suddenly, Teddy tripped over her own feet while trying to kick the ball. She went down with a small thud, and for a moment, the world seemed to pause. Panic washed over her young face, her big eyes widening with fear. A moment later, the tears started to flow, her small cries, shaky and scared for ‘dada!’ echoing across the field.

“You’re okay, yeah? I promise, sweetheart. You’re alright. Just a little fall, that’s all.” Trent spoke to her softly and calmly. He was at her side in an instant, his face soft with concern but also calm. He crouched down beside her, gently lifting her into his arms and brushing the hair out of her eyes. Trent wanted Teddy to be tough. “Daddy falls all the time, just apart of the game, baby.” He smiled sympathetically at her. You weren't parents who coddled but Teddy's big brown eyes crying always was a hard watch.Teddy buried her face in his shoulder, still sniffling but clearly comforted by his presence. Trent sat down on the grass with her, wrapping her in his strong arms, rocking her gently back and forth.

“Even dada?” Teddy pulled back slightly to look up at him, her eyes still wet but now filled with curiosity. She sniffled again, her small voice questioning.

“Oh, definitely. I fall more times than I can count. And you know what? I just get back up and keep playing. That’s how we learn, right?” Trent nodded and smiled warmly at Teddy wiping away some of her teats. As they sat there on the edge of the pitch watching some small sided games play on, Trent kept Teddy close, pointing out different players on the field. Whenever someone fell and got back up, he made sure to show her. “See that? Just like that, up and at ‘em! They don’t even let it bother them.” Trent playfully told her, squeezing her gently. Teddy watched with wide eyes, slowly starting to see the fun in it. Trent, always the playful dad, decided to make her smile. He let out a mock yelp and threw himself dramatically onto the grass, rolling around as if he’d taken a major tumble. Teddy’s eyes lit up, and a giggle bubbled up from her lips. Teddy laughed, wiping her tear stained eyes with the back of her hand. Trent continued his exaggerated rolling, and soon enough, Teddy was rolling on the grass beside him, her giggles turning into full-on laughter. They rolled and tumbled, Trent making funny faces and Teddy mimicking him, both of them caught up in the joy of the moment.

“T…” You called out cautioning him from the sidelines, a smile on your face but also a hint of sterness in your voice. He waved you off scooping Teddy up. Theo, meanwhile, was still nestled in your arms, his little pout already drooling on your chest, he still was just so little, too tired to join in on the grass but watching his daddy and sister with wide eyes. He was glued to you clearly content just to be close to his mum. Trent finally sat up, a grin on his face as he pulled Teddy close again, giving her a big, reassuring squeeze.

“Did you have fun with daddy today?” Trent asked Teddy and she nodded. “I’m so proud of you baby. Falling is just part of the game. What’s important is getting back up and having fun, okay?” He cooed, smiling down at Teddy, brushing a stray curl of hair behind her ear. Teddy nodded again her smile wide and her confidence restored. As they sat there, enjoying the moment, you came over with Theo still in your arms. You smiled at the scene before you—Trent with Teddy snuggled up beside him, both of them glowing with happiness and pride.

“You’re pretty great, you know that?” You cooed gently, leaning down to kiss Trent on the cheek, a silent thank you for always being the wonderful dad he was.

“I try.” He cheekily responded with a playful glint in his eye. Theo, still tucked against you, let out a small yawn, his eyes beginning to droop. You brushed a kiss against his temple, feeling the contentment of the moment settle around you all.

Trent had an away game. It was something you were constantly learning how to navigate with two kids. As the game was about to start, you looked down at her two little ones snuggled up beside you. Theo, still feeling a bit sad, had nestled himself tightly against you, his small face pressed against your chest, finding comfort in your warmth and familiar scent. Even though he had stopped breastfeeding a long time ago, he still found solace being close to you, especially when he missed his dad. His eyelids were growing heavy with sleep, and you gently stroked his back, humming softly to soothe him. Next to you, Teddy was wearing her ‘daddy’ Liverpool jersey with pride, but her attention was quickly drawn to Theo’s clinginess.

“Mama! Nos! Tio can’t either. Not fair!” Teddy complained with a pout, crossing her arms over her chest. Both of your kids just liked to be close to you but the breastfeeding ordeal had been a long one. Teddy didn’t like the fact that Theo got to do that and she didn’t but now that they both had stopped they would always find themselves still comforted by the proximity. You couldn’t help but smile at Teddy’s spirited complaint. You knew it wasn’t jealousy in a mean sense; it was simply that Teddy wanted to feel close and connected, just like Theo did.

“Oh, Teddy girl. You can cuddle with us. Everyone can snuggle with Mummy.” You laughed softly, pulling Teddy in closer with your free arm. Teddy’s frown quickly melted away, replaced by a bright smile as she wiggled herself closer, her little body fitting perfectly into the space beside you. You giggled, feeling a rush of love for your children. You knew that these moments were fleeting and precious—both kids just wanted to be close to you, to feel loved and secure. With one arm around Teddy and the other cradling Theo, you felt a deep sense of contentment, despite the absence of Trent. Wanting to share this sweet moment, you carefully reached for your phone. You snapped a quick photo of your two angels cuddled up to you, Theo's face smushed adorably into your chest and Teddy laying on your stomach, both of them looking utterly cozy and ready to support their dad. You sent the picture to Trent with a quick message…

‘Ready to watch daddy. You’ll do amazing tonight, baby. We’re so proud of you and miss you loads. Love you #66.’

A highlight of away days for Trent had to be receiving those little videos and pictures from you. He saved them all to his camera roll. He hated that he missed moments with you all but he appreciated you sharing even the small things with him. A few moments later, your phone buzzed with a reply. You opened it to find Trent’s response.

'I miss my babies so much. Can’t wait for my cuddle with mummy when I get home. Love you, beautiful ❤️'

At the stadium, Trent looked at the photo again, his heart swelling with affection. Seeing his kids in his jersey, cuddled up with you, made him laugh softly to himself. He felt a mix of pride and love, knowing you were all rooting for him even from afar. His teammates noticed the smile on his face and nudged him playfully, guessing he had just seen something special. Back at home, Theo’s eyes were drooping further as he nuzzled deeper into your chest, soothed by the steady rhythm of your breathing.

“Mama, I miss dada lots.” Theo told you in a soft, sleepy voice.

“Aw, I know, sweetheart. He’ll be home soon. And when he is, we’ll all have the biggest cuddle ever. Does that sound okay?” You kissed the top of his head whispering softly. Theo nodded, his eyes fluttering shut as he let out a small sigh. Teddy, seeing her little brother so tired, gently patted his back, mimicking what she often saw you do.

“Wan dada cuddle, mama.” Theo complained sadly. He just wanted Trent and it made you sad, a little guilty, and a little helpless.

“Tio, dada home after he’s on the TB, tay? Dada always comes home for cuddles.” Teddy very sweetly tried to comfort him. Your heart warmed at the sight of Teddy being so caring toward her brother. You gave both of them a gentle squeeze, feeling incredibly lucky to have such loving, wonderful children.

“Yeah, my smart girl. Thank you for helping me with Theo, baby. “ You kissed Teddy’s hair. “Will a cuddle from mummy do for now?” You gently asked Theo with a frown. He sadly nodded. You gave him a dramatically tight bear hug along with Teddy. “That's how dada gives a cuddle, yeah? How he hugs Teddy and Tees?” You smiled as they both giggled in your arms. This was everything. As the game played on the TV, you felt Theo's body relax into sleep, while Teddy kept her eyes glued to the screen, ready to cheer for her dad at a moment’s notice. You might not have Trent with you tonight, but you were together, supporting him in spirit, and that was enough for now. Trent, seeing the photo of his family back home, felt the same way. He couldn’t wait for the moment when he could be back with his loves, holding them close and feeling the warmth of their little family.

“I missed you so much.” Trent whispered climbing into bed with you after he returned from his away trip. He was horny, his hands all over you.

“Aw, we missed you so much. I had to try to replicate your cuddles but I don’t think I do it as well as daddy can.” You gently cooed, running your hand over his head.

“I’m sure they were great, baby.” Trent sighed a little frustrated you were not catching on. It wasn’t difficult to do but flipping between mum and wife sometimes got a little blurry. “I really really missed you though. Just you for myself.” He stressed as his tone dropped an octave and butterflies swarmed your stomach. He cupped your face and leaned in for a gentle kiss hoping he could start something. The kiss had your heart surging.

“I missed you, T. Hate when you’re not here.” You frowned pulling away from the kiss. You not only missed Trent when he went to games but you also missed your alone time with him. Having his full attention.

“I know, beautiful but I was thinking about how good it would’ve been if it had been me and you alone in my hotel room. Thought about you all night wishing you were in bed with me.” He explained and your heart rate picked up. God you wished you had a night in a hotel room with him too. Babies down the hall didn’t exactly allow for the loudest or most uninhibited sex.

“Mmm, I love being in bed with you, baby.” You hummed running your hands over his warm skin. The tension was palpable, thick enough to suffocate the air in your bedroom.

“Woke up so hard after I had dreamt about you.” He seriously told you but you couldn’t stop the smug grin from forming on your face. You looked at Trent with his pupils beginning to blow wide. His deep dark mahogany brown eyes staring back at you filled with greed.

“What were you thinking about T, tell me…” You asked him laced with seduction. Trent’s jaw clenched remembering what he had dreamt up while he was away but equally distracted by what was in front of him now. He gripped your waist letting you grind yourself onto his growing hard. He whined a little which had you grinding with more purpose to hear it again.

“Nah, nah, nah… just let me show you, beautiful. Been away from my baby for too long and want my lips all over this…” His lips began working their way down your jaw. “Perfect, perfect, perfect body.” he cooed between kisses.

“It was only 48 hours but…” You tried to tell him you weren't apart that long but cut your own self off with a moan. “I’m all yours. I want those perfect… perfect lips all over me.” You whined needing more of him. You pushed back against him to crawl over him, your knees pressing on each side of his thighs, trapping him in. Trent slipped his hand under you and begins to toy with your wet pussy. He gradually eased his fingers inside of you letting his thumb play with your clit. He curled his fingers inside of you in a way that had you falling to gasp against his neck. You rocked yourself against his hand desperate for more. It wasn’t long after until you were pushing down easing Trent’s cock inside of you. You swear you saw stars. It felt so good as he bottomed out inside of you. It took barely any effort for him to slide inside from how wet he had you. The noise of your slick and your moans was everything Trent wanted this morning… every morning in fact.

“So fucking good f’me, baby. Feel so good f’me.” Ternt moaned amongst a mutter of your name quietly echoing in the barely lit bedroom. As you continued to ride him sliding up and down on his big cock Trent’s appreciation for how good you felt was increasing.

“T, you’re so good, baby. I missed this. I missed you so much.” You desperately moaned as your pussy squeezed him tight. You were so close to cumming you felt like you were about to black out. You were getting tired and Trent could see that. Pleasure coursed through you as he attached his thumb to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles.

“I want you to cum on my cock. I need to feel you.” He tried to whisper but his pleads were hard to keep in check with his shuddering breath as you were working on top of him. You both were climbing to your highs

“Baby, please. I’m gonna cum, don’t stop.” You whined as your high crashed over you. You picked up your pace even though your legs were aching, you wanted more of him. His breaths were hot against your skin, audible. You rode him for ages in pure euphoria. “I love you.” You let out the most sinfully innocent moan in his ear. A sound he wanted to keep forever. His soul was completely in your grasp. The way you sounded and felt right now was his heaven. You pulled away and looked at him with twinkling eyes and he pushed up into hitting a spot so deep you had no other option to then fall into an earth shattering orgasm.

“Good girl. So good, baby.” Trent cooed as he picked you up by your ass and flipped you over to be underneath him. He picked up your knee and hiked it around his waist so he could fuck you at a new deeper angle. “Baby,” he murmured into your neck between heavy breathing. “Tell me you’re all mine.” Trent cooed, removing his face from your neck, grabbing and pulling you into a hot kiss. His cock continued to drive into you, desperate with urgency. “Can you cum with me? Can you cum f’me again?” Trent asked you with desperation.

“Oh god, only you, T. You forever. I'm all yours. Only want you always.” Despite your dickmatized haze you genuinely meant that. You only wanted him to fuck you forever. You were his. Your thighs began to quiver. His drew his face into your neck and let out a strained moan as he thrusted up a few more times before he filled you up. Your eyes rolled back and closed. His cum leaking out of you more as he continued to thrust into you a few more times, fucking his cum deep inside of you until he was empty. Trent fell onto your chest heavily breathing, tucking his face into your neck as you hugged him desperately.

“I love you so much, baby. You’re perfect. Missed you… and that so much.” He breathily laughed a little bit. You two laid like that for some time, soaking in each other’s company until the early traces of morning light rippled through your curtains. You were about ready to shut your eyes again until a little interruption pipped up.

“Mama…” A little voice called out to you from the doorway of your room. “Wake? What doing?” Teddy asked, rubbing her eyes with her fists awkwardly. You dropped your head against Trent’s warm skin and pulled the blankets further up you, hiding your bodies.

“Oh shit…” You giggled against Trent. “Hi teddy bear.” You cooed awkwardly, turning your head to look towards her.

“I cuddle toos.” Teddy sleepily called out taking a step into the room. Trent very quickly cutting her off.

“Nah nah nah. Mummy and I are just getting up. Stay right there for me, baby.” He stopped Teddy in her tracks as she listened to him. You laughed against his neck, hiding your face. Trent kissed your bare shoulder before slipping off the bed. He subtly snuck on his boxers and stood up. “C’mere you. What are you doing up so early, huh?” He cooed while walking over to Teddy.

“Wan cuddle with mama like you dada.” Teddy pouted, grabbing at his legs waiting for him to pick her up. Trent bent over and scooped her up.

“Yeah, me and mummy just were having a little cuddle this morning.” Trent winked at you and you tried not to laugh. There would always be a little bit of humor in skirting around what you and Trent got up to as adults away from your kids. “You and I can go start breakfast and then we can have some more cuddles with mummy, yeah?” Trent cooed, kissing Teddy’s cheek. He walked back over to you with her in his arms cupping your cheek as you laid in bed.

“Morning mama! Missed!” Teddy yelped excited to see you a bit closer now. Trent swiping his thumb over your smooth skin.

“Stay here, baby. Go back to sleep f’me. Me and this little bear will go start some yummy breakfast, yeah.” Trent turned his vision from you back to Teddy smushing his nose against her cheek.

“Have to still wake up one cute little boy, remember?” You sympathetically smiled at him.

“I know that, mummy. Me and our Ted can get Theo up though.” Trent tried to get you to go back to bed but you shook your head ‘no’ with resistance. “Alright, alright. Come on baby bear! Race you.” Trent kissed your forehead before putting Teddy onto the floor. As you heard their giggles get further and further away downstairs you slowly pried yourself out of your warm bed begrudgingly but then your heart warmed as you made your way into your baby’s room.The early morning light filtered softly through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over Theo’s nursery. The room was filled with quiet, the kind that only comes just before the little boy woke up. You tiptoed inside, careful not to make too much noise. You loved this time of the day—the stillness, the peace, and most of all, the sweet moments you got to share with your Theo. He laid sprawled across his cot, his favorite stuffed animal clutched tightly in one small hand. His dark curls were tousled from sleep, his cheeks flushed a gentle pink. You leaned down and gently stroked his hair, Theo’s eyes fluttered open, and the moment he saw you, his face broke into the biggest, most beautiful smile.

“Good morning, my cute boy.” You gently sang above Theo’s cot. You kissed his cheek a bunch of times as he squirmed.

“Mama…” Theo tiredly whined reaching up to you. His voice was soft but excited, still riddled with sleep. Your little sleepy boy was so cute still in his cozy pajamas. “Mama, up.” Theo reached his tiny arms up begging to be picked up. You couldn’t resist the request. You scooped Theo up into your arms, holding him close as he nuzzled into your neck, his warm breath tickling your skin. You breathed in the sweet scent of his baby shampoo, feeling a rush of love fill your chest.

“Did you sleep okay?” You smiled down at him, your heart melting at his enthusiasm wrapping his arms around your neck. “Want to get ready for the day, Theo baby?” You asked him, kissing his head. Theo nodded against your chest, his bright eyes wide with excitement. He wriggled in your arms excited with anticipation knowing he’d get to see Teddy and Trent soon.

“Wear dada shirt, tay.” Theo told you as you held him in front of his wardrobe. Theo wanted to do anything to make him more like Trent. Literally anything, one of the cutest, maybe funniest, but easiest ways for him to achieve that was by wearing a Liverpool jersey what felt like everyday despite the mass amount of adorable clothes in front of you for him. You rifled through all the tiny clothes with a smile.

“Oh, my Theo baby, don’t you want to wear something else today?” You cooed gently kissing his temple combing through his jumpers.

“Nos.” He giggled pushing back your hand that had taken out a sweater he didn’t want to wear. “Dada, like dada, tay?” He giggled. “What dada wear?” Theo was trying to ask you what Trent had worn for the day.

“Daddy’s in…” You started to answer him but you had to pause for a moment trying to think. The only thing on your mind was Trent’s naked body with you in bed this morning. “I think white shirt, baby.” You laughed softly reaching onto a shelf and pulled on a white jumper for him. Theo clapped his hands with glee, his whole face lighting up as he saw the white top.

“Tay, me toos, mama.” Theo confirmed that was what he would wear today then too. You smiled and nodded, grabbing a pair of Dior track pants for him as well. Theo beamed up at you, his excitement contagious about the new day. He just looked so cozy. You wanted to hold him all day. Instead after you had got him changed, you held Theo’s hand as you slowly made your way down the stairs with him, letting him conquer each step. Hand in hand, you entered the kitchen. You felt a wave of contentment wash over you. The morning sun streamed through the windows, illuminating the warm, cozy interior. Everything about this house felt perfect—a haven for your growing family. The smell of breakfast filled the air. Trent was at the stove, flipping pancakes with a practiced ease, while Teddy sat at the counter, her legs swinging happily as she ‘helped’ him.

“Tees! Good morning, big boy! C’mere.” Trent cooed excitedly and crouched down to Theo’s level. You let go of his hand and he darted to his dad. Trent scooped Theo up off the ground with a grunt.

“Daddaaa!!!! Dada up too!” Teddy turned around seeing Trent picking up Theo. She immediately ran over to Trent and Theo, getting envious of the attention.

“Okay, okay.” Trent laughed with Teddy practically climbing up him. Trent helped her up about half way as she struggled. You just smiled and moved around them to get to the refrigerator to get some things out to continue on the breakfast Trent had managed half off. To be fair, you knew how Teddy was in the morning and you knew how difficult it was too cook with her and Trent particularly struggled getting lost in joking about and morning snuggles.

“Did everyone give mummy a kiss this morning?” Trent cooed coming next to you on the other side of your kitchen island holding your kids in his arms. Theo nodded confirming. “Me too. Teddy bear?” He looked at her awaiting her answer. Teddy gave a him a cheeky smile knowing she hadn’t gotten a chance yet. She leaned over and kissed your cheek. You gave her a ‘thank you’ grabbing her and pulling her back to you for a kiss to her perfect pout. Her giggles subsequently filling the room. You finished cooking and set your two little angels at the kitchen table to eat breakfast but it wasn’t long till Theo started crying for you.

“What’s matter, Tio?” Teddy asked, reaching her arm out to console her little brother. Teddy was so good with him. It was expected that she was kind and attentive, that was in her nature but you felt blessed she was so helpful. You watched them tucked in Trent’s arms. He kissed your neck softly. “It’s kay. Dada like kiss mama. I saw morning.” Teddy tried to explain to Theo hugging him.

“Just cuddling, Ted.” Trent corrected her. You giggled at his correction unwrapping his arms around you so you could go attend to your worked up little boy. Trent gave you a wink when you turned back to him to see him following you to the table. You scooped up Theo and Trent sat next to Teddy before pulling her onto his lap. The kitchen soon buzzed with laughter and chatter, the perfect start to another day in your beautiful life together.

Theo’s newfound obsession with sheep had taken over the entire house. Every corner he turned, he would let out a loud 'Baaa!' in his best imitation of a sheep, his little feet pattering across the floor as he giggled with delight. It was as if he believed himself to be a sheep herder in his own imaginary farm. This went on for days, and while you found it adorable and amusing, Teddy was starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Tioo!!!” Teddy groaned. “Stop Tio!” She whined annoyed by the constant noise as Theo ran past her again, arms outstretched like little sheep ears. Theo paid no attention to his sister’s complaints, too caught up in his game. He dashed around the living room, baa-ing even louder, a huge grin on his face. You watched the scene with a soft smile, your heart warming at Theo’s simple joy. Teddy, however, huffed dramatically, crossing her arms. When Trent returned from his away game, he was greeted by the sounds of Theo’s baa-ing echoing through the house. He immediately burst into laughter, seeing his son’s determination to embody his new favorite animal.

“What’s up with you little lamb?” Trent laughed coming into the kitchen scooping Theo up in his arms. You smiled again see the identical boys across from you.

“I wish I could explain it. I don’t know why he’s obsessed with sheep lately. I honestly don’t even know.” You laughed with a sigh, unable to explain the uptick of interest to Trent, running your hand over Teddy’s hair trying to console her but not ruin Theo’s fun.

“Sheep?” Trent questioned you squeezing a giggling Theo.

“Sheep. Past 72 hours nothing else. Teddy’s losing her mind.” You spoke just to him. “But you’re having fun, huh, cute boy?” You cooed gently pitching at Theos chubby tummy. His giggled warming your heart.

“Why sheep, Tees?” He asked Theo adorably interested to hear what your two year olds rationale would be.

“Dada, know sheep are softs.” Theo tried to qualify what merited the new obsession.

“Erm… yeah I guess, mate. Any other info for me or just that they’re soft.” Trent tried to stifle his laugh. He wasn’t expecting Theo to dole out any real reasoning but ‘soft’ wasn’t really high on his list either. He was also trying to work out if Theo had even seen a sheep in person.

“Cool toos.” Theo tacked on.

“Okay, soft and cool, that's valid enough. C’mere my little sheep.” Trent cooed, squeezing Theo a little tighter as he wriggled in his dad’s arms, still going on about the animal with unabated enthusiasm. Trent kissed the top of his head, clearly amused by his son’s antics. “You know, I think on my day off, we take them to a farm? Let Theo meet some real sheep. What do you think?” Trent grinned, turning to you, plopping Theo down to continue running about.

“I think that’s a great idea. He’d love it. And it might help Teddy have some fun too.” You laughed, nodding in agreement with a warm smile. And so the day finally came, and as they arrived at the farm, Theo was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Sheeps! Sheeps!” Theo yelled. He could barely stay still, his eyes wide as he tried to take in everything around him. The moment Trent unbuckled him from his car seat, Theo tried to dart off towards the pens.

“What are those! C’mon Tees! Let’s go see!” Trent excitedly continued egging Theo on. Frankly you weren’t really sure if Trent had an opinion about farms and animals but seeing Theo so excited had him gassed about being here. Theo bounced impatiently on his toes, glancing back at his sister. You knelt down to help Teddy tie her shoes, your fingers trying to move quickly. But Teddy was getting impatient herself, watching her brother and dad start to walk towards the entrance of the farm.

“Dada wait.” Teddy cried. She frowned, her tone impatient. Just as you finished tying the last knot, Theo stopped abruptly, noticing his sister was not with them. He turned around and saw Teddy still by the car. “Mama, hurry pleabs!” She asked you desperate to not get left behind. Theo’s face scrunched up with determination, and he planted his feet, refusing to move another inch.

“Teddy hurry pleabs!” Theo yelled. His voice full of urgency. “Sheeps!” He yelled once more with excitement pointing towards the animals, trying to get Teddy to understand they needed to go and now. You and Trent exchanged amused glances, hearts melting at the sight of Theo’s eagerness to include his sister in his excitement. Teddy’s annoyance faded quickly, replaced by a grin as she saw her little brother waiting for her. You encouragingly, gave Teddy a gentle nudge to go catch up to them. Really they had only gotten about a yard ahead. Teddy rushed over, and Theo immediately grabbed her hand, practically pulling her along as they made their way toward the pens. Trent laughed, following behind them with you. The sight of your little babies holding hands, Theo’s face lit up with excitement, made everything worth it. When they finally reached the sheep pen, Theo’s eyes widened, and he let out a loud gasp of pure joy. The real sheep were even better than he had imagined. He pressed his face against the fence, watching in awe as the sheep grazed and moved around.

“Hi sheeps.” Theo whispered in wonder, as if he’s discovered magic seeing them. Theo’s face broke into the biggest smile, his earlier impatience forgotten. He turned to you, his eyes sparkling.

“Look at him. What do you think, huh? Cool and soft?” You teased crouching next to Theo pressing your cheek to his chubbier one letting one of the sheep come over to you at a fence. It was a little too real for Theo though who got a little scared and turned to grab Trent’s leg.

“Mummy, kind of icky.” Teddy looked at you not really appreciating the smell. You nodded to her with a wink. “Smelly.” She confirmed once over.

“I think so too, Ted.” You hummed and although she wasn’t keen Teddy was ever kind and held Theo’s hand and listened to him squeal about how great the sheep were. You and Trent stood back, watching your little angels with soft smiles. There was something so heartwarming about seeing your kids share this simple joy, united in a moment of pure, innocent wonder.

“I really didn’t think spending my days off like this would ever be something I’d dream of doing but I love this.” Trent smiled with a bit of a laugh watching Teddy and Theo. He leaned over to you, his voice low and filled with warmth keeping your eyes locked on them. As the sheep moved closer to the fence, both Teddy and Theo reached out their hands, fingers stretching towards the fluffy animals. Theo was completely entranced, his earlier nerves replaced by a calm curiosity and happiness having Teddy with him. Teddy, now fully invested, mirrored her brother’s excitement, no longer bothered by the sheep noises or Theo’s antics.

“T… I think I’m actually … finally good.” You sighed feeling the gentle breeze and hot golden sun hit your skin. Things were good. Not finally maybe but more consistently. You were happy and healthy and you just loved the life and family you’d made with Trent.

“That’s everything I’ve ever wanted to hear. You always have been good though, baby. Perfect to me in fact.” He cooed and kissed your temple “Thank you for our family.” He whispered, keeping his lips pressed to your skin.

“Ours.” You concurred cupping Trent’s face and turning it to give him a soft and sweet kiss. The day was perfect, a new adventure that brought you all closer together, reminding you of the joy in life’s simplest pleasures… including sheep.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the series. 🐑 🤍

Part 2 out now |

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #footballer x y/n #footballer x reader #taa66 #oursfic #trent alexander arnold smut

89 notes · View notes