#i AM GOING TO GET SUCH A GOOD GRADE IN THERAPY

[raviollies]

Wanted to give a quick update on my mental health since I think it's important to share the positives, especially as someone with Bipolar type II, and since I have been negative on here before.

I feel GREAT, like genuinely, I feel fantastic mentally. I have been doing exercises daily, I have been meal prepping and eating mindfully (Cutting back on carbs since they make me tired, upping my vegetables and trying to make food I love healthier by subbing ingredients) - In fact, I feel ENERGETIC. It's not the out of this world feeling of mania, but a consistent feeling of being able to tackle tasks that were very difficult for me before (exercise, dishes, cooking meals ahead of time so I have something to eat during and after work, eating veggies I used to hate, keeping my room tidy). I've had unlucky, bad things happen and it didn't make me want to crawl into a hole and die, I actually...was able to react calmly? Was able to shrug it off without collapsing into a pile?

It's genuinely...life-changing and not somewhere I thought I'd be several years ago. I could not fathom how I could live at a constant mood scale of not simply chugging through the day - and you guys have played a role in that. Comments that I love responding to, tags on my art, just engaging with my OCs as they've been a huge form of creativity for me and just loving art again (I'm proud of tackling more and more complex pieces).

So thank you! I hope to continue like this and also prove that having this life isn't just...out of the realm of possibility for those struggling with mental illness.

[tarucore]

Dick with a habit of going to a new therapist under a persona, talking to them vaguely about a trauma, whatever he needs to get out at the moment, and then dumping them as soon as they tell him what he wants to hear

“You seem to be very well adjusted.”

“It’s understandable for you to respond that way given an impossible situation.”

“You are remarkably self aware.”

“I feel like you need to ask yourself how much more you are willing to sacrifice for him.”

[xannerz]

roblox death noise

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

[spacecrows]

why do showers give me 10 minutes of galaxy brain and then it's right back to 1 braincell??

[abluescarfonwaston]

Someone: suggests Barnaby gets therapy

Barnaby: How Dare they!!!

Kotetsu: You know therapy can be really helpful and beneficial.

Barnaby: I don't want to hear that from an old man who's never been to it once!

Kotetsu: Hey! I have totally been to therapy! I did it for 5 months once.

Antonio: as court ordered.

Kotetsu: not important. And it was super helpful!

Antonio: for your therapist. You saved her marriage and she cleared you for duty. Did she even know you had a kid? Or recently lost your wife?

Kotetsu: i don't see why that matters. Anyway you should definitely give it a try!

Antonio: you should, but you should probably make sure you know what it's about unlike this guy.

Kotetsu: HEY!

[doctormage]

I am feeling Good today I had a nice convo about mulan (1998) w my physical therapist, the admin girl there said she was sad we didn’t get to “hang out” before I left bc it was a busy day, my fuckin unemployment claim finally went thru, and it is nice n sunny so I get to have my daily vitamin d session on my balcony later 😌 I hope u are all having pleasant fridays also 💕

[cetoddle]

bwaa!!!

[david-watts]

it’s nearly two am why did my brain go ‘the only thing that will satisfy you now is a ham and pickles sandwich made from leftover christmas ham and a fresh loaf of plastic bread’ like c’mon

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[eileennatural]

having a self-improvement girl summer is so hard when you could theoretically rot in bed for 3 and a half months. but i will do it. i will.

[arcaneyouth]

exploding everyone with my fucking beams and psychic attacks AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[blueskittlesart]

everyone look at this fish i had to draw for my illustration class. for a grade. i am going to get a good grade in therapy salmon, something which is both normal to w

[confinesofmy]

wow therapy is so much better in adulthood than it was in my childhood. or maybe me and this baptist mother of four just really click lmao.

[nope-body]

.

[malusokay]

Being your own best friend

Babes, It's time to become your own best friend, showing yourself kindness, empathy, and respect!! Being your own bestie is KEY to inner peace and happiness. <3

Self-care is a priority!! Skincare, alone time, reading, and so on. Don't feel bad for taking care of yourself!!

Set boundaries and learn to say no when necessary. It takes time to establish boundaries but keep making them clear!! You got this :)

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Be kind, supportive, and forgiving towards yourself. Also, don't speak badly about yourself!!

Positive affirmations. "I am enough", "I deserve to be happy", "I'm the hottest person on the entire fucking planet, and everyone is madly in love with me." <3

Take care of your body, bestie!! Eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, and stay hydrated…

Invest time in your hobbies. Keep doing what makes you happy, and make it a priority to actually make time for those things!! I've been trying to crochet a sweater; I'm going to be unstoppable once I'm done, just wait…

Avoid toxic people and situations!! Boundaries baby!! Don't waste your energy!!

Embrace cringyness. This may sound stupid, but life is so much more fun when you don't care about being cringy; also, most memorable moments are always a bit cringe!! <3

Prioritize your mental health. Journal, meditate, and go to therapy if necessary!! It's 2023, we all go to therapy; take care of yourself :)

Celebrate all your achievements and successes!! Got good grades? SLAYYY!! Made scrambled eggs? SLAYY!! Got into Harvard Law? What, like it's hard??

Remember, being your own best friend takes time, but it's worth it for a lifetime of self-love and happiness. Let's support each other on this journey!! :)

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩