#i accidentally made everyone cuddle jon

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Limp Noodle ~ S.H.

A/n: I have never once been good at making choices so I’ll be doing both OOF! This request is dirt old but whatever. I’m actually writing requests now look at me go!

Request: “...prompt 20 or 21 Steve Harrington x clumsy male reader” by anon

#20 (here): “I can’t do this without you”

#21: “Guess who broke their nose! Me. It’s me. I broke my nose.”

Word Count: 2000+

MASTERLIST

“Are you SURE that this is a good idea?” The words came from Y/n as Steve parked the car, waving through the windshield window at Jonatan, Nancy, Robin and a new friend, Bianca. They’d all decided on a triple date and like idiots they’d let Steve, Bianca, and Nancy decide so they were now all headed on a hike. Robin was the least athletic of all of them and hated exercise of any kind. Jonathan was the one in the group who hated being outside in the sun and much preferred being inside cuddled on the could other swaddled in bed. Y/n... well Y/n was the single most clumsy person you’ve ever met.

Now, take whatever image that popped in your head when I said that and then make it ten times worse. Then take THAT mental image and multiply by it by ten AGAIN. Y/n was worse. He was absolutely sure he was going to thrip and fall over the side of some steep hill and fully die. He would be lucky to make it out of this trip without a stick going through his eye. Y/n and the outdoors didn’t mix. They never had. He could barely walk, let alone when it was uphill and outside and humid and hard to breathe and everyone was so beautiful and distracting.

Steve didn’t agree with that analysis.

“This is a great idea actually,” Steve decided with complete confidence. “Don’t worry about it okay? You’ll be fine.”

“Incorrect,” Y/n Aries immediately. “We started dating because I tripped seven times and you caught me every single one. I tripped seven times in three days Steve - and that was just the, what, one hour a day you’re with me? In THREE HOURS I TRIPPED SEVEN TIMES!” He was whisper yelling, getting rather heated. “I’m going to knock my head into a tree and bleed out.”

Steve laughed. He reached over, taking his boyfriend’s hands. “Do you trust me?”

Y/n’s shoulders sagged. “That is a cheap trick, Harrington.”

In response Steve only raised his eyebrows. When Y/n refused to answer, Steve sighed. “Y/n. Do you trust me?”

Closing his eyes a second, Y/n held in a sigh. When he opened them again, he managed a small smile. “Yeah. I trust you.” Steve went to get out of the car and Y/n caught his wrist. “Just promise you’re going to stay with me okay? I can’t do this without you. I’m serious.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Come on Drama King.” They both got out and made their way over to the other four.

“Hey guys!” Nancy greeted warmly. She had calmed a lot since Y/n had first met her. Darkened. But she was still pleasant enough, and Y/n tolerated her for Steve. He didn’t know why they were all friends after Nancy’s brutal ripping up Steve’s heart but... he expected it was that trauma bonding things that Steve and Robin refused to ever talk about with Y/n in the room.

“Hey bestie.” Robin winked at Y/n and he felt himself relax. Around her he always felt more comfortable. She got him on a much deeper level than Steve did. She had actually been the one to set them up after failure after failure of Steve’s attempts on girls who came to the ice cream shop they met at originally. It had gone up in flames recently, but they’d snagged a job at a movie store so they still worked together. Y/n was pretty sure neither of them would have it any other way, even if they sometimes pretended to hate each other.

“Hey loser,” Y/n joked back. Robin shoved him and he laughed, accidentally ramming into Jonathan as his feet almost came out underneath him. “Sorry,” Y/n mumbled.

Robin scoffed in amusement. “I always forget you have two backward feet.” This was something she said often, in reference to the popular statement of ‘two left feet’. One day Robin had proclaimed that Y/n was something worse than two left feet, and then being backward had kicked off as an inside joke.

“I’d you have that problem standing still, how do you think you’re going to do on a hike?” It seemed Bianca was trying to get in on the joking, but it hit a hard cord with Y/n.

He wasn’t in the mood to joke. “What can I say? Great day to die.” He put on the fakest smile ever. “Come on everyone!” Then he began to surge ahead, onto the trail, and the others scrambled to catch up.

It didn’t tale long for Nancy and Bianca to hit the head of the trail. Steve dutifully stayed by Y/n, but he watched the girls head with a sort of forlorness. Because Y/n was so slow and Jonathan and Robin lagged even behind him, the two girls in front were racing up and down the steep sides of the path they were on, jumping over logs and hopping up on stumps to make the path harder. They were laughing hard and having a great time. Y/n knew that Steve desperately wanted to join them.

What kind of a boyfriend would Y/n be to stop him? “Go on,” Y/n sighed, nudging Steve forward encouragingly.

Steve looked at Y/n with an expression that tried far too hard at innocence to succeed. It was so obvious he was full of crap that Y/n was rolling his eyes before the brunette even spoke. “What? What do you mean? I’m having a great time with my boyfriend which was the point of this whole thing. Have I bored you already?”

“No, but I’ve bored you. Go and do parkour with the bad ass chicks up there. Go on.” Steve hesitated, but when Y/n shot him a look, he finally did speed ahead to catch up and join in the unnecessary shenanigans that gave Y/n extreme anxiety just imagining himself doing. He sighed watching Nancy and Steve. He knew that things were WAY over between them, but Y/n found a little jealousy in the way they worked together so fluidly. They were perfect for each other - even as friends. She just kept up with him and challenged him in a way that Y/n never could, and Steve thrived.

Slowing down in his moment of annoyance, Robin and Jonathan caught up to him. “Welcome to the world of those who have to sit back and wonder why they’re not still dating,” Jonathan sighed. His voice was as laced with bitterness as Y/n’s thoughts were.

“They’re so complimentary,” Y/n complained.

“You could argue that you guys are the same,” Robin pointed out. “You both hate doing anything outside or away from home. You both love reading and photography. I mean Y/n’s incredible view of the world allows him to be a great writer, but it also connects you two. Writing and photography aren’t far from each other and you prod that every day. Nancy can’t slow down enough to appreciate things like Jonathan does, and we all know Steve is no reader.” She chuckled. “And we’ll never know how awkward and snappy got buff and pretty.”

Jonathan and Y/n smiled at that. “Imagine another world where Nancy and Steve stayed together. Then maybe you and me would have-“ suddenly he lost his words as he tripped, and Jonathan reached out to catch him. The two boys busted up laughing. “That’s the second I have to say both sorry and thank you for your reflexes Mr. Byers.”

“Ah anytime. That’s what friends do. Share interests and talk about alternative world where they’re dating and catch each other when they almost die.”

That made Y/n laugh harder.

Suddenly there was a very unpleasant thump and a scream. The three in the back snapped their attention to the three ahead and saw Nancy and Bianca freeze and look back at Steve, who had landed on the ground. His hands had risen to cover his face, and he slowly turned on his side, curling in on himself. It seemed like he’d misstepped at some point and tripped and fallen.

Perhaps Y/n shouldn’t have been the one they worried about on this trip...

-

When they finally got Steve to the hospital, it was a mess. There had been blood everywhere, and Y/n’s weirdly good driving had saved the day in a pinch once again. They’d gotten there quickly and in one piece without getting pulled over.

Only an hour later they were given news. Steve came out with the skin around his nose already bruised and puffy. “Guess Who broke their nose,” he mocked in a song songey voice.

“Me?” Y/n joked.

“Me!” Steve agreed, pointing at himself. “It’s me. I broke my nose.” He slung an arm over Y/n’s shoulders and the other four covered their mouths to hide laughs. People wouldn’t be forgiving in public if it got out that the two men were dating, so they were trying to be lowkey.

The Doctor came over behind Steve. “He’ll be fine. I’ve given him direction son how to ice it and even given him some pain killers to help with the next few hours. But it is just a broken nose, so nothing too severe.”

“Thanks,” Y/n told the Doctor. They left then, everyone heading home. Y/n designated himself in charge of caring for Steve, and called his parents to let them know that Steve ‘got tired’ after the hike and totally knocked out. They didn’t mind, liking that Steve was actually spending time with other kids again, so it went without too much problem.

As Y/n was tucking Steve into bed, Steve caught his hand to still him. “I love you.”

Y/n’s eyes widened. They hadn’t said that yet but... well, if hypotheticals with Jonathan had taught anything today, it was that Y/n was glad he was in this version of things, even if it was a little more complicated this way. So he meant it when he replied, “I love you too Stevie.”

Steve glared. “Not Jonathan?”

“Jon-“ Y/n’s deep confusion cleared as he realized what had been happening right when Steve had tripped. Jonathan and Y/n had been close. Laughing. Talking. Touching. “Oh my god Harrington did you break your nose because you were being a jealous idiot?”

“Maybe,” Steve grumbled, looking away.

Y/n laughed, gently tugging on his chin so their eyes met again. “Please sweetheart, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Me and my two backward feet are going to plague you for the rest of our lives.”

Steve’s eyes got very soft. “Do you really mean that?”

Getting sincere, Y/n leaned down and kissed Steve’s forehead. “Stephen Harrington, I’ve never meant anything more. I know we can’t get married or anything, or even date publicly, but... I don’t care. And maybe that’s some really forward thinking and we haven’t been dating that long, but I fell... a LOT of times in my life. It only made sense that the first time someone ever caught me, it was you. And it made me realize that I was gifted with my two backward feet so that one day I’d fall for you.”

Steve groaned. “That was painfully cheesy.”

“Okay, okay,” Y/n dismissed, rolling his eyes. The sweet moment was completely ruined.

“No seriously I would break my nose again before hearing that-“

Y/n reached over, turning the light off before climbing into bed with Steve. “Shut up Harrington, or I WILL break your nose again.”

Steve laughed before pulling Y/n close so they could fall asleep curled up with each other. “My cheesy, dumb, clumsy boy,” Steve mused quietly.

That made Y/n scoff. “If either of ya is the dumb in this relationship it’s YOU, Harrington.”

“Shut up,” Steve whispered. It was quiet a while before he finally followed up with, “I’d like that future with you too.”

To hide his smile, Y/n mumbled, “Good night Stevie.”

After a second, Steve replied, “Good night, Y/n.” And for now, that was the end of it.

[shelobussy]

ASH’S TMA HURT/COMFORT/FLUFF REC LIST 

For the gays. (And @damcrows who’s been dead for the past 24 hours. Rest in peace babe. Read some gay fic. Deny the inevitability of canon. <3)

___

the end, but the start (of all things that are left to do)  by @ajkal2

Jon wakes up.

aka. mag200 tore out my heart

(Very smol, very short, very spoiler. Def recommend for anyone who just finished the podcast.)

remind me how to smile by @tamerofdarkstars

Jon is probably fine, just hiding out somewhere while the whole murder thing blows over and that's... fine. Martin is fine with that explanation. Really. He's got plenty to distract himself - like listening through the entire What the Ghost episode library, for example. Or watching Georgie Barker's Instagram livestreams.

(Yea this was in the last rec list, but you don’t understand THE ADMIRAL GIVES CUDDLES)

Chamomile by Dribbledscribbles

Whatever the ex-tea was, if it really had ever been that last bag of chamomile Martin claimed he’d found tucked in the back of the cupboard, it was fast now.

Martin had tried catching it, chasing it, blocking its way with shoebox lids and plates and an upended footstool, but the thing was just too quick. Jon knew as well as Knew that he might have left off the attempts completely if not for the creature’s preferred game.

The game was, See How Many Times I Can Push Martin Towards Cardiac Arrest Before He Comes at Me with The Broom.

(Scottish Honeymoon Era. Adorable and weird. A vampire gets harassed.)

hey stranger by @ennuijpg

It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?

(Martin runs into Jon at the grocery store and has an existential crisis.)

roses roses, roses. by @judesstfrancis

Rose scented laundry detergent. Running into Jon in the breakroom. Running into Jon on his way back to his desk. Rose scented detergent. Running into Jon. Roses. Jon. Roses, roses, roses. 

(Canon enemies to friends to lovers au-ish. Martin POV. Very pining much sweet.)

go softly by doomcountry

And there is nothing else besides this. 

(More hurt/comfort than fluff. Scottish Honeymoon Era. Mild eye mutilation.)

Not Alone by @backofthebookshelf

After the coffin, Daisy and Jon are both fragile. They hold each other up. 

(Post-buried Jon&Daisy starter pack. Very hurt/comfort.)

trust my love by antlsepticeye

“you… you’re real, aren’t you?” jon whispers, the fog slowly dissipating from his mind. “it is not a trick?”

“i’m here,” martin says softly, reaching up to grab jon’s hand that was resting on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with jon’s and squeezing. he moves jon’s hand to martin’s chest, resting it over his heart. “you’re alright. i’m alright. take your time, love. let’s just take some deep breaths, okay?”

(TOUCHSTARVED JON HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.)

reaching out by Athina_Blaine

By the time things settled, when Martin had finally managed to crack through his cold shell, feel some of his old self returning to him in bits and pieces, they had found their little routine.

One that had the two of them sleeping in the same bed, making breakfast, going to the mart. Where Jon reached for his wrist while they slept, and Martin luxuriated in the gentle warmth of his fingers.  

But not one where Martin reached back. One that had Martin kissing Jon awake or taking his hand over the breakfast table, because ... Martin never had the courage to try. And then it never became a part of the routine.

And Martin desperately wanted it to be.

-

Martin and Jon have an important conversation.

(More Scottish Honeymoon Era for the soul. Hurt/comfort/fluff.)

Belabor by @janekfan​

Jon's given the position of Archivist and is falling apart at the seams. Tim and Sasha are upset and playing games. Elias is overbearing and manipulative.

And poor Martin is stuck cleaning up the mess.

(THEE first fic I ever read for tma. Season 1, hurt/comfort/fluff, and hints of Jmartin. janekfan is the absolute master of seasons 1-3 hurt/comfort. This is my favorite, but pls check out the rest of their fics.)

tea, blankets, and a damnable stubborn attitude by ivelostmyspectacles

“Are you really gonna stay here and pester Jon all evening?”

“I’m not pestering him,” Martin retorted, sounding vehement if not busy going through the cupboards. “I’m heating up soup.”

“Oh, you might as well make him another cup of tea while you’re at it.”

“Oh, good idea.”

Jon shot Tim a withering look.

(The one where Jon is ill, Martin makes tea and they watch doctor who together. Fluff 1000%.)

A Kind Hand by @voiceless-terror

Jonathan Sims was adjusting just fine, thank you very much.

In which a minor workplace spill causes Jon to realize that he might have friends.

(Ah yes, the other master of seasons 1-3 fic aka voiceless-terror being my other fav author in the fandom. This one is also season 1 hurt/comfort/fluff.)

A Weather In The Flesh by @cuttoothed

"There is a span of years where Jon doesn’t touch anyone other than the occasional hand shake. It’s not so bad. He’s never been someone who’s needed physical affection."

*

Jon has never been any good at making people want to stick around.

(More touched starved Jon! Much hurt/comfort!)

Something Old, Something New by @cirrus-grey

Months have passed, and everyone is doing better than they were. Daisy and Basira are getting married, Melanie is feeling her old self, Georgie is as much herself as she has ever been, and even Jon has stabilized on his wild fall away from humanity. Everyone is doing better.

Well. Almost everyone.

(Daisy/Barsira wedding! Melanie is a bitch and we love her! Jmartin dance! Post-canon (almost) everyone lives!)

The Weight of Love by @voiceless-terror

Jon is a restless sleeper. Martin attempts to adjust. 

(The fic where Jon is literally me and Martin attempts to sleep for 1k words.)

The Art of Conversation by @voiceless-terror

"Do you ever stop talking?"

Jon has a complicated relationship with words. Difficulties come and go.

(Jon has adhd and Martin is in love.)

Novelty by @backofthebookshelf

Jon experiences A Sexual Attraction; Martin has A Concern. They figure it out.

(Any fic that explores the ace spectrum is a 10/10. We stan all ace interpretations of jon on this blog.)

Half a Hug by Dathen

I know you weren’t going to hurt me, I trust you, he said again and again. And then a different kind of fear shone through, hollow and echoing: “Please don’t stop touching me."

-

Or: Life is hard when you're touch-starved but have trauma related to your closest friend.  Spoilers through TMA 132.

(Honestly bless every author who saw jon&daisy and was like. They’re siblings. No I will not elaborate.)

the loneliness never left me (but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company) by Athina_Blaine

It was about Martin making Jon feel safe, treasured, and loved. And it had been so, so long since anyone made him feel that way.

And, in the face of it all, Jon was starting to flounder.

(At this point I just need to make separate rec list for Scottish Honeymoon Era.)

you can watch me corrode by scarletfish

"So, how long have you been pulling this shit then?"

"I… excuse me?" Jon’s indignant, certain she can’t mean what he thinks she means.

"When was the last time you ate?"

(Georgie decides Jon and Melanie need a normal day off. Jon learns that he and Melanie have more in common than he thought.)

(Look, Melanie isn’t my favorite person in tma, but she and Jon are like THE SAME PERSON and I adore fics that elaborate on their relationship.)

Out of the Wind, In From the Cold by @ostentenacity

There are two bedrooms in the safehouse, and two beds.

For a moment, Jon considers asking to share, but decides against it with a wince. “I really loved you,” Martin had told him. Loved. Past tense. And Martin doesn’t exactly have a lot of choices right now in terms of company; it would be cruel to demand he play at feelings he no longer has just to make Jon happy.

(For a moment, Martin considers asking to share. But he dismisses the idea with a shake of his head. Jon has already done so much for him. Martin isn’t about to ask for more, especially not when it’s something he doesn’t really need. He has his right mind back, and he has Jon’s friendship. That should be enough for him. It’ll have to be.)

---

Jon thinks that Martin doesn’t love him. Martin thinks that Jon doesn’t love him. They do not, of course, discuss this. Unrequited love is already awkward enough, right? No need to dwell on it.

(THEE SCOTTISH HONEYMOON ERA FIC. IT’S ABOUT THE PINING, BEING MUTUALLY OBLIVIOUS AND FALLING IN LOVE. 10000/10.) 

I Do by @voiceless-terror

“I, um- this was supposed to be a lot more romantic, I swear.” Martin looks down at the dirty bar floor. “I had it all planned out, I-I was going to take you somewhere nice, and then we’d go for a walk in the square- I’ll still do it!” He hurries to explain, as if that’s the most pressing part of this situation. “It’ll be really nice, I’ve already hired a photographer-”

In a fit of protectiveness, Martin proposes to Jon.

(Everyone lives, Martin accidentally proposes and Jon is crying in public.) 

________

[hintofelation99]

Can you describe the batfam by the type of movies or series they like to watch? Also what are the other's reaction whenever they watch it together?

Hell yeah! Tbh I feel like movie nights would be some of the most frustrating nights in Wayne manor, just cause everyone is hella opinionated. Like they take turns letting each other choose movies but even then they fight for at least an hour over what was chosen. But here's what each member typically chooses when it's their turn. Also I briefly mention their reactions in here but I'll probs do a Batfam Movie Night dialogue, fic, series, thingy (??? Idk what to call those things) and I'll link it back to this ask when I do. Link.

Dick:

Genres— Musicals, Rom Coms, Spy Movies

Favorite Movies— Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again, The Greatest Showman, Notting Hill, Pretty Woman, A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Kingsman

Basically Dick is guaranteed to pick a musical or a rom com. He loves things that are big and dramatic and beautiful, but also a bit cheesey and silly. Like him.

Everyone groans when Dick chooses the movie because they know it will be a bit cheesey or the stereotypical "Chick Flick". That being said usually what he picks is genuinely good (Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again are both masterpieces) and they leave everyone laughing or feeling happy.

Dick does also love classic foreign films (mostly European) because they remind him of movies his parents would sometimes take him to see, this wasn't super common but occasionally the Graysons would find a local theater showing classics.

He used to love the Kingsman movies but stopped liking them after everything that happened with Spyral.

Babs:

Genres— Sci-Fi, Comedy, Rom Coms

Favorite Movies— A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Martian, Star Wars, Star Trek, When Harry Met Sally

Babs is a complete nerd and loves all of the Star Wars and Star Trek movies. She'll occasionally watch Lord of the Rings with Tim but she definitely prefers the nerdy Sci-Fi movies.

She only started liking Rom Coms after dating Dick, he loves them so much that it was pretty difficult for her to not start liking them as well.

When watching one of her favs Babs will be mouthing along the entire time. She also has a lot of cool memorabilia from her favorite franchises.

Jason:

Genres— Classics, Dramas

Favorite Movies— Twelve Angry Men, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, To Kill a Mockingbird

Jason isn't too big on movies. And surprisingly he's not usually super opinionated about movies, he can be pretty opinionated on which movie the family will watch. This is less because he's trying to be combative and more because he's sick of watching his siblings favorite movies, he feels like hes seen them all a million times.

Typically Jason isn't a huge fan of movie adaptations or remakes. They don't bother him and he doesn't care when a new one's released but he's not going to watch it.

Sometimes Jason will accidentally fall asleep during family movie night, these are one of the few nights where he 'cuddles' and honestly it's less cuddling and more 'oops I feel asleep and ended up on someone's shoulder or lap. Whether or not he falls asleep depends on if he's fighting with Bruce or not. If he and Bruce are fighting Jason won't feel comfortable enough to fall asleep (he might even skip movie night), but if they're on good terms he might doze off.

Cass:

Genres— Fantasy, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Horror

Favorite Movies— The Big Sick, The Thing, A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Tangled

Cass mainly knows about movies from her movie nights with Tim, Babs, and Steph, so her tastes have developed based on theirs.

She and Tim frequently watch old B Horror movies together, every once in a while one will quietly sing "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" to the other and they immediately burst out laughing. This is most commonly done at galas.

Tim bought her a sweatshirt with a "horror movie periodic table" on it and she wears it almost constantly.

Tim:

Genres— Fantasy, Classic Horror

Favorite Movies— Lord of the Rings, The Exorcist, The Thing, Stardust

Tim absolutely adores fantasy movies, he's a huge nerd and definitely uses fantasy movies to help him plan his next DnD campaign.

While Tim adores fantasy movies he's more likely to watch movies from his second favorite genre— Classic Horror.

Him, Cass, Steph, and Babs love having movie nights together because they're all major nerds and tend to like a lot of the same movies.

Steph:

Genres— Comedy, Anything Cass recommends

Favorites— Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Big Sick, Palm Springs

Steph is much more outspoken than Tim, Babs, or Jason. This is part of the reason why she is one of the more polarizing siblings on movie night. If she doesn't want to watch something she will let you know.

She can making picking a movie difficult, but every other aspect of movie night is improved by Steph. She gets fun snacks, fuzzy blankets, cool sodas, and she even made them all shirts when they did a Lord of the Rings marathon.

When watching a movie Steph will quietly mimic lines or noises that she likes. She never notices but she does it during every movie. Like during Monty Python she'll whisper 'clip clop, clip clop' when they bang the coconuts together.

Duke:

Genres— Documentary, Mockumentary

Favorites— Darkest Knight: The Truth Behind Gotham's Hero, The Keene Act, America's Most Dangerous City: Gotham, What We Do in the Shadows

Duke loves watching documentaries on Batman just to see how off they are. No one argues when he suggests them for movie nights.

One time he, Jason, and Tim made a 'documentary' about Batman. It looks completely serious to anyone who doesn't know Batman's secret identity.

After making the Batman documentary he decided to make some more on random Gotham villians. He's made about six and all look completely serious to anyone who doesn't know the villian.

In his documentary titled "Riddle Me This" he said that the Riddler gained riddle themed powers after a tragic accident at a riddle book factory. Edward did not appreciate this.

Damian:

Genres— Action, Survival, Documentary

Favorites— John Wick, Riddle Me This, The Keene Act, Jungle, High School Musical

Damian is the absolute worst to watch action movies with, he spends the entire time ripping the movie apart and mocking anything that is even remotely unrealistic.

He and Duke will often talk about their favorite documentaries, he's even started helping Duke make documentaries. Right now they're working on one about the League of Assassins, Tim watched the first cut and almost pissed himself from laughing so hard.

Jon showed him High School Musical and Damian pretended to hate it but secretly he doesn't mind it. Obviously Jon knows this so he showed Damian the entire series, and now it's sort of become their thing.

Bruce:

Genres— Whatever the fuck his kids agree on

Favorites— Please for the love of god let his kids pick a movie

Bruce is tired and just wants to watch a goddamn movie

As always these are all headcannons and have little to no cannonical support. Also all of Dukes movies (except the last one) are documentaries I imagine would exist in the DC universe.

[pl-panda]

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 3

MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next

Disclaimer: Masterlist

------------

The dinner was an interesting affair. Everyone was gathered around a large table that could easily fit several more people. Marinette was sitting between Damian and her mother; on the opposite, Tim, Stephanie, and Cass took the seats. She was glad that they were all people she knew well enough. It was overwhelming. Before, Christmas was always just her and her parents. Occasionally, Nona came too. And there was this one time when she was five when her great-uncle visited. This was much too crowded. 

Damian gently squeezed her hand, reassuring her that it was alright. She ate some, but the nerves made her lose appetite quickly. She was in Gotham. Celebrating Christmas with her husband’s family. Husband… She was going to have a panic attack. She wasn’t ready. 

“Habibti. It’s okay. Everyone here’s a friend.” Damian whispered into her ear, seeing she was spiraling. “Nobody is going to judge us on anything.”

“But I didn’t make any gifts for the Kents. And I didn’t know your eldest brother had a daughter! And I’m a total klutz. I will probably knock over the tree and it will fall and set the house on fire and you will end up homeless or someone will get hurt and then your family will hate me and the Kents will hate me and I…” she kept whispering faster and faster until she was finally starting to feel the need to breathe or pass out. The jury was still out. 

Seeing her daughter’s panic, Sabine also grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Honey, let’s go get some fresh air.” She said loud enough for people close to them to hear before leading Marinette outside. Nobody batted an eye when the pair passed them. 

Once the two were in the back garden, Mari felt her legs give up under her and if not for her mother, she would have probably collapsed. The woman held her tight and led the girl toward the bench, which was luckily not covered in snow. 

“I’m so sorry, Maman. I don’t know… I just felt so overwhelmed. There were all these people and I was really meeting my husband’s family and friends for the first time and I guess I was not prepared for all this…” She was speaking fast. 

“Don’t worry sweetie. I understand. Did I tell you how, when I met your Nona for the first time, I accidentally flipped her over my shoulder and pinned her to the ground?” Sabine asked, smiling understandingly at her daughter. 

“No! Really?”

“Yes. Well, in my defense, she surprised me with a gun that shot candies.” 

Marinette couldn’t help but giggle at that. It did seem like something her Mémé would do. 

“She was shocked at first and I was afraid I hurt her. Instead, after that, she decided that I was apparently worthy of dating her boy and gave us her approval.” 

“So… the moral of this story is that I should flip Talia over for them to accept me?” Mari asked with a cheeky grin. 

“That too, sweetie. I can even lend you something from my bag if you want a more… permanent effect.” 

“Maman!” 

“Fine…” Sabine grumbled goodheartedly. “You don’t need to worry about fitting in or how they will perceive you. I’ve seen how that boy looks at you and I approve.” She smiled. “That’s all that should matter.”

“Thank you maman. I’m glad you’re here.” She hugged her mother as the two sat together on the bench, enjoying the evening chill until the cold became irritating instead of refreshing.

-------

When the two returned, the dinner was nearing the end. Marinette noted seven burning holes on the ceiling but didn’t comment. There was also a plate on fire next to Jason that he seemed adamant not to acknowledge. Also, Mar’i and Jon were levitating above the table and playing rock paper scissors, except they used the props. Silently, Marinette walked to take a seat next to Damian. Her mother went over to talk a bit with Bruce about something.

“Um… Why is Jason’s plate on fire?” She asked, very much confused. 

“Tt. He wanted a souffle on fire.” 

“We’re already at desserts?” The girl asked, surprised. In the corner of her eye, she saw Cass staring at Tim and Stephanie with a strange gaze. It wasn’t hostile, but rather, she couldn’t really name the emotions present. 

“Yes. I saved you some maracons. You love the strawberry ones, right?”

“You made me prefer lemon ones.” She smiled. “The subtle sourness really brings out the sweetness.” 

“Of course it does Angel.” He smiled. “Sadly, we sit next to Brown, who will devour anything with sugar in it.”

A devious grin appeared on Mari’s face. “Really now?” She reached over into her purse to pull a small box where she kept the power-up cookies for her Kwami. “Tikki… will you mind if I give her a burnt-red one? You know which…”

For a moment, it looked like the Kwami wanted to protest, but then the small goddess noticed the plate of cookies was empty. “Go for it, Marinette. It won’t hurt her.”

“Stephanie! I’ve got a spare macaron I can share,” she smiled at the blonde girl. 

“Gimme!” She almost leaped like a gremlin, her eyes in a slight daze.

“Uh-oh. She is experiencing a sugar rush. I think she ate the whole plate herself,” Tim spoke from his seat, eyes slightly worried. 

Mari handed over the macaron and watched as Steph ate it. It took only a moment for her face to flush red and tears to appear in her eyes. “Water!” She said with a hoarse throat. Tim handed her a glass, but when she downed it, the burning only increased.

“Oh no! I forgot to warn you! It was made with ground hot pepper instead of flour… silly me!” Mari said, keeping the cute smile on. “I would advise milk.”

When Stephanie ran to the kitchen, followed by Tim laughing and Cass and Damian smiling, the older boy turned to Marinette. “You are devious.” 

“She shouldn’t have eaten so many cookies,” the girl shrugged. After that, she actually started to enjoy the evening. It might have started a prank war later on, but for now, she was safe. 

---------

After dinner, the crowd moved to a large living room where adults took seats on the couches or chairs while most kids and teens sat on the fluffy carpet. Alfred was walking around and handing the wine glasses to adults and hot chocolate to the youngsters. Clark opted for hot chocolate as well, which earned him a round of teasing. 

Since everyone was staying the night, there was no need for designated drivers. When Tim and Stephanie tried to get their hands on alcohol, Alfred slapped their hands. More laughter followed. 

Marinette sat there, cuddled into one armchair with Damian, observing everything and looking cute. 

“...I’m just saying, Bruce. You could smile a bit more in costume too. It wouldn’t kill you.” Clark finished a short speech.

“Work and homelife should stay separate,” Tim spoke up from his spot on the floor.

“Which doesn’t stop you from smiling. You’re not a Buckingham Palace guard.” Lois pointed out.

“To be frank, you could smile a bit more often, B.” Dick supported the enemy.

“It would be bad for the image,” Bruce mumbled. “If anyone saw Batman smile, it would ruin my years of hard work.”

“Diana disagrees.” Kor’i smiled. “She actually said once that ‘a smiling bat looks pretty handsome’.”

“I’ve seen a smiling bat!” Mar’i shouted from her spot on Jon’s knees, the two of them acting like nice siblings. It secretly irked Damian, but he wouldn’t ever voice that thought. “There was a cartoon!” 

“That’s nice, sweetie.” Sabine couldn’t help but rub it into Bruce some more. “Did he also have a cape, like Bruce?”

“Yes! And he walked on two legs!” 

“See? I think your image doesn’t need to suffer.” Tom joined his wife. His English wasn’t that good, but he could get by. “Maybe you could get a cartoon about Batman? Ladybug had her own movie and a song dedicated to her.” 

“Ladybug?” Jonathan asked. Marinette immediately tensed at the mention of her superhero name. She definitely did not want to reveal herself to everyone here. It’s not that she didn’t trust any of them, since all of them knew about Batman and co., but she felt uneasy. The fewer people knew, the better. 

“Parisian superheroine.” Sabine clarified.

“We sure didn’t hear about her back in Smallville.” Martha insisted, smiling. “Then again, we don’t really keep with the news from the old world.”

“There was this terrorist in Paris that used magic to turn people into temporary villains. He was finally defeated recently. I think you’ve seen all the ladybug decorations.” Tim explained in broad terms. 

“Ah! Right. I was wondering about the ladybugs…” 

Damian noted that his beloved was tense and decided that it was a moment good as any other to spring up the surprise. He shifted slightly, signaling that he wanted to get up. Marinette, who was still holding her cup, immediately sprung onto her feet. She thought he maybe wanted to leave somewhere or speak with his father alone. 

Instead, Damian hit the side of his hot chocolate cup with a spoon three times, gathering everyone’s attention. 

“Tt. I wanted to say a few words. This will be important so shut up you lot.” He cleared his throat before continuing in a mostly emotionless voice that most people associated with his ‘Ice Prince’ persona. “Marinette. When I first met you, it was not from our own free will. The bitch that is my mother forced our hand and tied us together. But we got to know each other out of our own free will. Nobody forced me…” His head snapped toward Dick. “Tt. Don’t you dare, Grayson.” Seeing his brother raise his hands in a surrender gesture, he carried on. “Nobody forced me to come to Paris. Definitely, nobody forced you to actually accept my courting. To this day, I am left wondering why an Angel as you would actually agree to go out with me, but here we are.”

The people watched with rapt attention. Marinette just stood there, unable to voice a coherent thought. She had no idea what was happening, but a deep red blush had made its way onto her face when he praised her. 

“You were so full of passion and joy and it reminded me a bit of Jon, but without the irritating factors.” 

“Hey!” The boy protested. A murderous glare from Damian shut him up quickly. 

“As I was saying, you were perfect in my eyes. I was taken away by your kindness. There are no words to describe my feelings.” His tone was still emotionless and monotonous, but Marinette could see that he was doing his best to actually see this through. “I can say without a doubt that I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” 

All air was suddenly sucked from Mari’s lungs when he fell on one knee and pulled out a small black box. Inside was probably the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. There were three flowers on a golden band. In the center of each, there was a shining diamond, surrounded by smaller stones. The petals were made from pink stones that she suspected were also diamonds. Were there even pink diamonds? All in all, it looked beyond words. 

“Will you do me that honor and become my wife?” When he finally asked, she could feel the world spinning. This was… this was better than in any of her daydreams. And not only because instead of Adrien there was Damian. 

The words died in her throat. She had to sit down to not faint. “Yes…” She whispered weakly, so only Damian could hear. The boy smiled brightly (a rare sight to be sure) and put the ring on her finger. 

Her gaze fell on the band he had on his own hand. It was silver with a large black stone in the center of the band, surrounded by eight diamonds. The Black Cat Miraculous she realized. 

An applaud arose from several places in the room, but some of the guests were confused. 

“Aren’t you two too young to get married?” Johnathan asked, scratching his head. 

“Tt. Technically, we are already married where I come from. This is for my wife’s content and nothing else.”

“Married?!” The old farmer asked, scandalized. 

“Tt. That’s what I said. Now can someone please get my Angel some water? I think she is about to faint.” 

“Um… I would also be very interested in the story…” Clark joined his father. He wasn’t exactly that much scandalized, but confusion was clear on his face. 

“I promise I will explain everything. I think we should give the two some breathing space…” Bruce proposed hesitantly. 

“I will help get Mari to her room. I think she has had enough excitement for today,” Tom offered.

“I am also turning in for the night, Father. I trust that between you and Miss Cheng they will get a full story. Sans the private parts of course.” He glared at him. 

“I will make sure of that.” Sabine quickly cut any protests.

“Good. Good night everyone. And Merry Christmas or whatever.” With that, he left, wanting to catch up with Tom and Marinette.

----------------

Masterlist // Next

[not-from-the-absence-of-violence]

On assumptions, understanding, belonging and love.

Moments in Martin's journey understanding other people and finally himself.

or

Martin's journey in understanding, accepting and loving his asexuality.

a/n: some quick notes: Jon is sex repulsed, Martin is somewhere between neutral and favorable. While Tim and Sasha dont exactlty say they are aro they are! Jon is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns and i desperatly wanted to explore that but this is already twice as long than intended-

also while I am (half) Bolivian and speak spanish I am not at all fluent in Tamil so if there is any mistakes lmk! hope you all enjoy!

-------------------

Sasha had convinced them to go get drinks together, as it had been a rather stressful couple of weeks since Martin came back from the siege of his apartment by Jane Prentiss.

Sleeping in the archives was not exactly helping the situation for Martin, or Jon for that matter.

So they decided to go to a pub and try to force a sense of normality everyone really needed.

Martin was having a great time, with the relative calm and safety he hadn’t had in a while, even Jon had something like a smile playing on his lips as Tim told a story from one of his university mates that had accidentally thrown his roommate's engagement ring down a drain. 

Martin zoned out for a bit, enjoying the pleasant buzz of the alcohol and his friends laughter and Jon’s animated movements that indicated that he was talking about something he actually found interesting.

 Jon was apparently telling his own story with some relation to engagement, something about a girl at a wedding that had acted strangely, Martin caught something about “purposely spilling wine on her dress”, which Martin agreed was quite wierd. 

“She was totally trying to woo you, Jon.” Sasha said as Jon got to the bit where they had to help her find some clean towels in a storage closet. 

 “I assumed she was just having a rather hard time,” Jon said, seemingly only now thinking of the implications of spilling wine on your dress and then faking needing help, to be fair to Jon that was a very weird tactic to pull and Martin would not have put two and two together either.

“Well what did you do in that closet then?” Tim asked with an incredibly over the top suggestive look. 

Jon pulled a face then, Martin thought it looked rather endearing really with his nose all scrunched up and his eyes narrowed, but he was clearly uneasy. 

“I don’t- I don’t really do… that sort of thing.”

Martin snapped back in the moment, feeling a weird but familiar anxiety in his stomach as the conversation lulled. He felt rather protective for a moment, instinctively knowing this seemed important. This turned out to be rather unnecessary, as Tim spoke up again quickly.

“Oh,” He and then, earnestly, ”I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Jon.” 

And then Jon smiled, properly, like he didn’t often and waved his hand dismissively but pleased.

“Thank you, well it's not like you could have known that, but anyway as I was saying-” 

 It was but a moment, but it stuck with Martin for a bit, mulling it over and not really understanding his own reaction.

 Eventually Martin settled back into the pleasant buzz, enjoying his friends chatter and Jon’s over exaggerated hand gestures.

-

It was an uncharacteristically slow day in the archives, not a worm in sight and Martin had only a bit of boring research to do for a very clearly fake statement.

Martin usually tried to be nice about it but this one featured a guy named “Richard Dickson” and was entirely about a fever dream someone had about a haunted accordion, he had listened to the recording that Jon had emailed him and it sounded like even he was having a very hard time trying not to laugh at it.

“Who comes up with this stuff?” Sasha said as she handed him back the statement. “Sure, I know we are being attacked by a worm woman but I really hope we can draw the line at haunted accordions that play spooky renditions of High School Musical and a prophetic dream guy called Dick Dickson.”

She was laughing too and Martin thought that she looked better than she had in awhile, it was nice, seeing her like this. 

“Well at least I won’t have to stay extra time for the research of this one, I would go home early but.” he shrugged and gestured in a you know the whole staying here cause of a worm woman situation, she gave him a sympathetic look.

“Well I am leaving early, got a very fun evening planned.” she said with a wink.

She had looked really rather excited and somewhat giddy all day, Martin realized. 

“Oh,” Martin said, “Who is the lucky person then?”

Sasha looked at him puzzled for a few seconds, slowly blinking at him, then the penny dropped.

“What? Oh no, I mean- Tim I guess, we usually have a sort of movie night every once in a while, this one is extra special though, because I found this book about the categorisation of demons, it’s partially in latin? Tim said he would help me look into it. ”

Martin felt his face heat up, feeling the urge to profusely apologize, Sasha continued however:

“It’s not like that though,” she said with a rather annoyed look, and then somewhat softer, “I am not really a dating kind of person, you know?”

Martin wasn’t sure he fully understood what she meant, but that was fine and she was clearly still very excited, so he relaxed.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have assumed, I do hope it’s not one of those books Jon goes on about, they aren't exactly...friendly.”

Her eyes lit up once again.

“Oh it's definitely not a Leitner! I do look out for that sort of thing, the interesting thing about the book is though-”

And she went on for a bit, the moment somewhat unimportant in a way but it still churned in Martin’s mind. 

-

Things with Sasha...shifted after the Jane Prentiss attack, everyone had different ways to cope with trauma of course, Martin knew that.

Maybe that was the thing really, while Tim, Jon and Martin himself were having a hard time processing (even if Tim and Jon refused to properly acknowledge it) Sasha seemed fine, a few weeks of being shaken maybe and she was now back to her regular old self. 

She even had a new boyfriend, Martin had no idea why that irked him so much.

He’d said as much to Tim, who was sitting next to him while both slacked off from their jobs on the stairs to the back courtyard of the institute (why there even was a courtyard was one of the great mysteries of this place).

Tim looked uncharacteristically solemn, seldom did he let his walls down like this. 

“I thought I was in love with her you know,” he said rather suddenly, “I mean we’ve been friends for years now and there was- is no one I would rather spend time with, so I mean if not her then- then who?”

He sighed and Martin made comforting noise, trying not to break whatever spell had made Tim genuinely speak about his feelings. 

“I mean I figured out I wasn’t in love with her before this whole...thing, we talked about it, I think? Some stuff is hazy. Just- I shouldn’t be jealous you know? She is allowed to have a boyfriend.”

“Your feelings are valid no matter what they are.” Martin said seriously.

Tim sighed and leaned into Martin, who enveloped him in his arms.

“Sure, doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck though.” 

And well there wasn’t much Martin could say about that.

After a bit of comfortable hugging silence Tim spoke up.

“Maybe her boyfriend is a vampire though, I totally get to be jealous about a vampire.”

“Tim don’t say that.” he said, trying to hide a smile. 

“What?” Tim said, pretending to be serious, “Everything is possible Martin, worm women and all that, I could obviously not compete with a vampire and their sexy glittering skin.”

Martin shook his head, not able to contain his laughter anymore.

“Can’t believe you are exposing yourself as someone who watched Twilight.” he said.

Tim smiled wickedly up at him from where he was still half cuddled into him.

“The fact that you got that reference exposes you in turn,” he said, sticking his tongue out, “Check mate.”

“Touché.” 

Then Tim stood up and said: 

“Well, Time to go back to our trans containment zone.”

“The fact that we just happen to be trans and were transferred to the archives is a coincidence.”

To that Tim only answered: “Trans-ferred Martin, can’t you see? You cannot call that a coincidence.” winked and back in through the door he went. 

Martin let out an exaggerated long suffering sigh.

Back inside they walked to their respective desks.

“Well lets hope work gets lets shit.” Tim said. “That’s such a low bar, and yet.”

“Paciencia y fé.” Martin said, which was in his repertoire of spanish phrases that just didn’t pack the same punch in english along with “ya pasara” and “digamos que si”.

Tim shrugged.

“Don’t think whatever grandmother made up that phrase could have imagined it being applied to our situation.”

“And yet we still have to hope for it to get better don’t we, see it works.”

Tim flashed him one last smile as he sat at his desk and Martin went to put on the kettle.

-

Martin had assumed Jon’s I-don’t-do-that-sort-of-thing included dating as well and it hadn’t bothered him really, he enjoyed clinging to his crush to Jon like a small steady comfort, even if he knew it wasn’t actually going to amount to anything, there was no harm in day dreaming after all and Martin was perfectly capable of caring about him as a friend too, it was harmless.

Of course the fact that he now knew Jon had been staying at his ex-girlfriends place and the fact that Jon might actually date people didn’t really change anything.

At least that is what Martin tried to tell himself as he shakily poured two cups of tea and mustered the courage to walk to Jon’s office. 

And he was at least a little right, even if Jon dated people, even if Jon would return his feelings (which Martin really did not let himself dwell on), these were particularly unfavourable circumstances to start a relationship, there was the matter that neither of them was able to string together a conversation, because the mundane ones sounded so inane and hollow and the important ones required being genuine and vulnerable and they might just be somewhat allergic to that. 

And there was the matter of the impending apocalypse they had to stop.

Martin knocked on the door and he heard a soft: “Come in, Martin.” from the other side of the door. 

The office was a mess as always and Jon looked like he hadn’t slept in a week and had aged about ten years in the last few months. 

But Martin’s breath caught in his throat anyway because, as was usual for Jon now, he also looked just a little more...comfortable, as you could anyway. They were wearing a hoodie with cats on it that was just slightly too big and a long flowy patterned skirt. 

Jon clearly caught martin staring because he ran his hand through his hair a bit self-consciously and said: “I know it goes against dress code, but I think you get a pass after you get kidnapped by an evil circus.” 

“Oh I mean, you look nice, I mean it looks nice on you. I didn’t mean to uhm, stare?”

“It was- I was just joking.”

“Oh.” 

They just stared at each other, painful silence falling over them. 

Jon broke the silence clearing their throat.

“So... you brought tea?” They said.

“Yeah, it's for you.” Martin said and immediately cringed because who else would he have brought Jon’s favorite chai exactly the way he always takes it.

Jon smiled though, reaching out to take the cup from him. Their hands brushed just a little and Martin's brain briefly shut down and he realised that maybe he should admit to himself he was really hopeless and too far gone.

That is though, how he ended up stupidly staring at Jon’s hands and how he spotted the shiny black ring on the middle finger of his right hand. 

“Thats a nice ring, don’t think I have ever seen you wear jewelry before.” 

That seemed to snap the tension out of the moment a little, Jon looked down at the ring and smiled a little.

“It's an ace ring,” they said, “I used to wear it a lot a while back, not sure why I fell out of the habit, but now I guess I think I am allowed whatever small comfort I can get.”

They were looking at the ring and then at Martin. 

Martin wanted to freeze the image right there, at the small not quite guilty smile Jon had as he looked up at him, at the feeling that things were OK, good even just for a bit.

Then something fell off Jon's desk and they both startled, flinching at the sudden loud noise. 

All the worry and tension flooded back into the room immediately.

“Right.” Jon said. “Did you need anything else?” 

Martin wasn’t sure how to even answer that.

So he just shook his head and started to leave.

Just before he was about to turn around Jon called his name, Martin turned around to face Jon that seemed to be fighting for the words he wanted to say.

“Yes, Jon?”

“Thank you.”

Martin smiled a sad smile.

“Anytime.”

-

It’t not that Martin had never heard the word asexual before, or that he didn’t know Jon was ace, he’d just never dwelled much on the actual meaning of it.

He had however never heard of ace rings before and he gave it a google for curiosity's sake. 

A black ring usually wore on the right middle finger to indicate the wearer is asexual (“ace”). 

It seemed nice to Martin, small token of your connection to a community, of course his curiosity did not end there, he had assumed previously Jon didn’t do relationships at all, and if he did, what did asexual mean then?

He found out rather quickly that asexuality was about sexual attraction, and aromantic was another thing all together, he also found out that asexuality didn’t mean a person couldn't have a libido, or like sex.

And maybe he just stood there staring at his laptop screen for a while knowing that sexual attraction had never really made sense to him, maybe it felt like something clicked.

And so knowing he definitely did not have the time or the emotional energy to deal with it he quickly closed his laptop, he had an apocalypse to stop and a boss to dispose of after all.

-

Martin was trying very hard to read Hija de la fortuna by Isabel Allende, every other sentence he sighed and grabbed his phone to look up a word the meaning of which he didn’t know.

It was frustrating, he once had been almost fluid in spanish as a child, but then his dad had left and his mother wasn’t able to and didn’t want to maintain his fluency. He hadn’t exactly had time or money for classes either and so now he attempted to regain some of it by watching movies and reading books.

It was not just the language of course that made it hard, Martin was so entirely full of worry. It was rare he got to spend a day in his flat these days, usually cooped up in the Institute hiding from something, or at the side of Jon's hospital bed talking to him, reading to him on occasion.

The anxiety, the fear, the pain, it had festered into Martin, the tiniest sounds made him jump and even when he got tiny little moments in which he wanted to, needed to, rest he still felt like a watched prey animal, or the full force of grief threatening to crush him.

Today he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, nothing remarkable had happened in a handful of days and it made him uneasy, he was waiting for Melanie to call him about a new attack, he was waiting for Peter to summon him with a weird cryptic request. 

And you would think that with all this other worry he wouldn’t be fretting about his sexuality.

But apparently there was plenty of anxiety to go around for all the areas in his life and he just couldn’t get that moment, months ago now, out of his head.

He sighed at set the book aside, grabbing his phone and opening google.

He felt like he was 14 again asking his mother what gay meant and getting only a nasty look in return, or 17 and anxiously looking for a book about being trans in the library. 

It was silly to look it up and read articles about how to know you were ace, because he already knew somewhere, but he desperately needed the confirmation.

The third or so blog post he opened was about a woman in her 50’s that had recently figured out she was ace.

Its freeing  the article read it’s freeing to be who you are and to understand yourself better, even if you aren’t sure, its OK, it will be OK.

Martin was only crying a little, he laid down his phone and stared at the wall.

He thought about how he had never quite fit, he wasn’t quite english, not with the people asking him where he had come from or asking his mother as a child where she had gotten him from. He wasn’t Bolivian either, he had never been there, his spanish was limited, he could only cook about three and a half recipes that the internet had taught him.

He had never been a woman and he would never fit what society thought of as a man. And what that exactly meant for his relationships.

He never understood other people, but he never thought he was bad enough to seek help for it.

Sexual attraction was vague and he didn’t get it, but in the few relationships he had had in the past he hadn’t minded sex, he enjoyed watching a nice movie together just as much but there was a nicety to it, especially taking care of someone else, having them unravel infront of you. And he had found it weird that he didn’t want anything back, that he felt uncomfortable sometimes.

He imagined he meant he was wrong, like with everything else Martin Blackwood also couldn’t do that right. 

But maybe there was something here, in Martins corner of human experience, in the small stack of books about Bolivia that he read, in the trans pin on his backpack and patches he sewed onto his clothes, in calling himself gay man even if that didn’t cover the nuances because it felt good, in the chew necklace that hung around his neck because it eased his anxiety.

Just like all of those things, Martin was ace, he wasn’t wrong or broken he was just different and there were all those other people who were different too and it was nice. 

And Martin was crying because of the overwhelming sense of belonging, and because he finally understood Tim when he had once asked “But what does romance even mean, Martin?” and he would never get to tell him, because this is yet another thing he and Jon could have talked about if the world had been kinder to them, this is something he could be talking about to Jon if he wasn’t in a coma.

But even in these miserable circumstances Martin made sense to himself a little more and no one could take that away from him.

-

The past week in the safehouse had been a whirlwind of emotions, but both Jon and Martin were trying, trying hard to heal, to learn how to feel safe again, to love each other.

For all that trying they hadn’t talked about it much, it was hard still, but Martin was quietly holding on to the hope that they would get there.

Today had been quiet, with the biggest setback being that Jon had found it hard to find all the ingredients for the sambar he wanted to make for dinner. 

“I know it won't be like my Pāṭṭi (பாட்டி) taught me, but you would think they would at least have coconut.”

Martin found their grumpiness adorable, reveled in the mundaneness of this worry. And he hadn’t been able to contain his laughter when they finally had found coconut and Jon had held it up triumphantly.

The food had been delicious and now they sat on the couch, it was hard Martin craved touch so dearly but it was like stepping into hot water after standing on ice for a while and Jon flinched so often, not used to not being hurt and sometimes Martin’s unnaturally cold skin brought up unpleasant memories. 

They could have wallowed in guit and yearning, but they were both stubborn, and so even if it took a while and millions of slow movements and asking if something was OK they managed. 

So it was that Jon had his legs draped over Martin's lap, enough to bring comfort, not too much as to be overwhelming, and their hands were lightly on top of eachother.

Jon seemed pensive, but not worried, Martin shot him a questioning glance.

“We went at this in such a sideward way,” Jon said, “I mean we live together now but we haven’t really...talked about it. We never- we never asked?”

There was a beat of silence where Martin just looked at Jon and then a smile spread over Martin's face.

“Jonathan Sims do you want to ask me out?”

Jon averted their gaze in a way that meant even though Martin couldn’t see it they were definitely blushing.

Martin just couldn’t contain his delighted laughter.

“Must you laugh at me,” Jon said, faking offence, he was also smiling now.

A bit of seriousness returned to his voice as he spoke up again.

“I don’t care that we have done it all backwards Martin,” they said, “But, I love you.”

And as he said that Martin stared at him, mouth agape and his heart thundering in his chest, he lost his ability in any language. Jon said it firmly and securely and Martin really didn’t know what he was supposed to do with all the feelings he had, Jon continued however. 

“And we don’t have to do anything but it just feels like we are dancing around several conver- Martin? Are you alright?”

It was only then Martin realised he was crying and he could only ask:

“You love me?” 

Not because he didn’t know, but because sometimes you just need the confirmation.

Jon squeezed his hand gently.

“Of course I do.”

Martin wanted so badly to answer him, to reproach but he couldn’t, not yet, instead he blurted.

“May I kiss you?”

Jon smiled, a tad nervously.

“That's sort of what I wanted to talk about,” they said, “boundaries?”

Martin understood the necessity of such conversations he really did, but it did not mean he was going to enjoy them.

It did come as a surprise however that Jon suddenly got very nervous and said.

“I mean- I just- I am ace, Martin.”

Martin cokced his head in confusion and said:

“Yeah, I know.”

Jon mirrored his confused look.

“You do?” and then more sour, “You listened to the tape?”

And fine Martin admitted to himself, maybe they should talk more.

“No? You told me, like ages ago.”

Jon laughed, relieved, happy.

“Sorry,” he said, “Ironically my memory is foggy. It has been a rough couple of...years.”

Martin hummed something of affirmation, because he also knew this seemed like a nice moment to come out, and he felt the very familiar anxiety in his belly. Idiotic anxiety because Jon was also ace and there were no stakes in this situation at all. 

Maybe it was just the fact that he had never said it aloud.

Martin heard himself speak:

“I think I am too,” and he could hear how stupidly nervous he sounded, “ace, I mean.”

There was a vague ringing in his ear and if he had been in the position to he might have just run out of the room, apparently facing down unknowable monsters didn’t make coming out easier.

His fear was cut down by the fact that Jon was absolutely beaming at him.

“That's great!” they said, “I mean not that I would have minded if- but it is nice to have someone understand, that's all.”

It was, it was amazing to have Jon here smiling up at him holding his hand and understanding him.

“It really is,” Martin said, then gently bringing the back of Jon’s hand to his cheek and leaning into it, “Doesn’t mean we don’t have to talk boundaries though.” 

Jon smiled at the small gesture and then said serious:

“I don’t want to have sex, ever.” 

Martin knew it sounded like people had tried to debate them on it before and it made his chest ache.

“I know,” he answered and then because honesty was key, “I am not adverse to it, but obviously if you don’t want to, we won’t, ever.”

Jon sat up a bit then, lifting his hand from Martins and gently cupping his cheek. Martin's pulse quickened, his hand moving almost automatically to Jon’s arm.

“How do you feel about kissing?” he asked.

“It's nice,” Jon said, smiling a bit cheekily leaning forward,  “So long as it isn’t tongue kissing that is.”

Martin leaned forward until their breaths mingled at their lips where all but touching.

“May I kiss you then?” He asked, breathless.

Jon could only nod and they both leaned forward the last inch.

Time must have stopped for a bit as they kissed, gentle and full of a thousand promises. 

They both moved away from the kiss gently, they were both tearing up a little, Martin felt so much so strongly and he pulled away from Jon completely.

“Just need a moment.” he said and smiled at Jon's reassuringly if a bit shaky. 

“Take all the time you need,” Jon said and then softer, “Anything you need.”

And Martin was sure he had never loved anyone more. 

-

On the fourth day of their third week in Scotland Jon had gone to run some errands in town and had come back with an incredibly nervous air about him they were sitting across from Martin at the table twirling their hair and checking his pocket every once in a while.

It was making Martin incredibly antsy and by the third time Jon had looked like he wanted to say something only to then go back to the crossword he was definitely making no progress on Martin had had enough.

“Sol mio,” Martin said, very much enjoying Jon’s wide eyed flustered he always got when Martin called him pet names. “Will you please tell me what is wrong.”

Jon looked at him sheepishly.

“There is not something wrong, per se.”

Martin gave him a look.

Jon sighed and stood up, grabbing a small box from his pocket. 

“Nothing is wrong I just… bought something for you beloved.”

Martin very nearly had a heart attack when Jon opened the box and there was a ring inside. Upon closer inspection it was a beautiful black ring and Martin understood. 

There was silence as Martin could do no more but stare at the ring and then at Jon.

“I see how a ring might come over as a gift now,” Jon rambled nervously, “it is not like that- I mean that is something we will have to talk about. I was afraid it would be too much? It is engraved too and I just hope I didn’t-”

Martin cut him off: “Jon let me see it properly.” 

Jon handed him the ring.

Martin lifted the ring out of the box and saw the engraving on it.

 நான் உன்னைக் காதலிக்கிறேன். I love you. Te amo.

Martin promptly sat down again, it was so sappy, just a tad ridiculous and stupidly cute. It hurt in his chest and tears stung in his eyes.

“How did you know I wanted one?” he asked, because he didn't know what else to say.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck self consciously and said:

“You were talking a few days ago, about how you would like something like a- like a token, to remind you and I thought an ace ring might be nice.” 

They lifted their right hand.

“We match now.” 

Martin silently moved to put the ring on, it fit perfectly. He ran his fingers over the tiny groves of the words on it. 

An anchor. 

A small reminder that he belonged, here in the world, here with Jon. 

Martin stood up and gently enveloped Jon in a hug.

“Thank you,” he murmured into Jons hair as he placed a small kiss on top of their crown. “It’s perfect.”

[captaincravatthecapricious]

Here’s a sickfic I might finish but I should probably just post here now in case I never do

Uhhhhhh cw nausea and vomiting mention

I’m gonna @celosiaa because you are the only reason I am posting this at all.  And maybe you can nudge me to finish this at some point.  

Jon isn’t sure where he thought he’d wake up.  Possibly at his desk?  Or in his bed?  (Unlikely).  Does he even still have a bed?  The institute floor if he was unlucky?  The break room couch or the cot if he was considerably more lucky.  The point is, he feels like shit and he didn’t remember going to sleep.  Which probably wasn’t a good sign.  He lets himself drift for a while longer.  

Jon wakes in fits and starts.  

One moment he’s mostly aware the next he’s snapping back awake thus leading him to the conclusion that he wasn’t before.  A cycle that he is stuck in for several minutes.  He is not aware enough to properly examine where he might actually be.  

He’s too dizzy to think and his eyes feel gummy and puffy, and everything hurts.  

Sick?  Is he sick?  Not statement sick, but properly sick?  

Yes that tracks.  Sore throat.  Queasy.  Headache.  

Ugh.  

He lays there for a while longer.  And promptly drops back off.  

~~~~~~~

Jon stirs in Tim’s lap.  Be blinks a  few times and groans.  Jon has been all but passed out in Tim’s lap for hours.  

He isn’t even sure why he bothered.  

Tim sighs.  He knows Jon is awake now, and he very much needs Jon to have some liquids.  And some fever reducers.  “Jon?”  He asks softly.  He doesn’t want to frighten Jon.  

Jon’s shaky breathing catches in what Tim very much fears is a sob.  What the hell is he supposed to say to a crying Jon?  “Tim?”  Jon’s response is quavering and damp.  He still hasn’t really moved.  Tim is more than a little worried that Jon doesn’t seem to have the energy to even shift position.  

“Back with me?”  Christ, Tim hopes Jon is.  

Jon spent most of the car ride to Tim’s flat crying, apologizing, gibbering about god knows what, and looking more than a little like he was going to be very ill (something Tim would have worried about if he wasn’t reasonably sure Jon had already expelled everything in him before Tim managed to half carry him out of the Archives).  (He debated A&E, but ultimately decided Jon might accidentally compel the staff and cause a lot of problems.  But if Tim couldn’t get his fever down, or get him to keep down liquids, then he’d take him in.)  Tim tried to find it irritating, but honestly it had just made his heart hurt.  

Jon just whimpers.  

Tim gently cards his fingers through Jon’s hair.  Jon shivers a little.  This flu has been going around the Archives but even though Jon has been the last to catch it, he seems to have it the worst.  Tim doesn’t think he was ever this far gone.  (Martin would probably be the one here if he wasn’t still sleeping off the last of his fight with this.)

Jon blinks a few more times, swallows drily, and asks, “Tim….?  Wha’ you doing?  Thought you were out today?”

“First day back.  Found you passed out in the loo.”  Tim hasn’t decided if he wants to be nice.  (A bit late to not be, considering he drove Jon to his (Tim’s) flat and is letting Jon cuddle him even though Jon is kind of disgusting at this point and is going to share the leftovers of the soup and medicine and lucozade he stocked up on the moment he knew he was coming down with something.)

Jon squirms a bit so he’s looking up at Tim.  His face going from confusion, to embarrassment, to dawning realization when he (presumably) he notices he’s partially in Tim’s lap.  “You hate me.”  It’s a question, but not a question of if Tim hates him.  

Jon’s slurring.  Which can’t possibly be good.  Tim takes in his puzzled look and takes that to mean ‘Hey Tim, I’m too much of an arsehole to thank you for letting me use you as a well toned body pillow let’s jump right into the boo hoo I’m a victim of the universe and I’ll take everyone down with me and I know this so why could someone I’ve so terribly wronged be being nice to me.’  No.  That’s not right.  And that’s not fair.  Tim does want to blame Jon for everything.  But that would make him a hypocrite.  Sure Tim didn’t stalk his coworkers after the Prentiss thing, but where Jon got paranoid, he got angry.  They both pushed each other away.  Not to mention…. he did accuse Jon of murder…. which is what he was angry at Jon for accusing him of…. It is Jon’s fault that he is stuck in the archives, but Jon’s just as stuck as he is.  And it’s not Jon’s fault that Sasha...  He’s not a heartless dick, he couldn’t just leave Jon to possibly drown himself in the toilet.  

“Debatable.”  Tim can’t really explain it any better than that for now.  He blames Jon, yeah.  Sure.  Easy.  Of course he blames Jon.  …But he knows it isn’t Jon’s fault, and as much as he wants to forget that.  He can’t.  And he can’t forget the years of friendship before all this.  Maybe they weren’t as close as he presumes he and Sasha were… but they were close.  

Jon looks even more confused.  And then he looks rather nauseous.  He closes his eyes again.  

“I need you to drink something before you pass out again.”  He should probably try to be nicer, because Jon flinches at his tone, and tries to make himself even smaller.  

This isn’t news.  Jon has flinched because of Tim a lot.  He knows he shouldn’t be proud of this, but he is.  

“And don’t puke on my couch.”

Jon just whines.  

Tim gets impatient and mostly carefully leavers Jon up enough that he can press a  Lucozade into his hands.  

Jon’s eyes flick open slowly.  He blinks a few times as he tries to comprehend what he’s holding.  

“You’re supposed to drink that,” Tim says helpfully.  

“Thought you wanted me not to puke.”

Tim is reasonable sure that was supposed to be a joke, but Jon’s eyes squeeze tight against dizziness, so Tim nudges the bin he preset nearer.  

“Drink the goddamn thing or I’ll have to take you to A&E and I’ll really be fucking pissed.”  There isn’t any real heat to Tim’s words.  But that doesn’t stop Jon for fumbling with the lid.  

Christ he looks so pathetic.  His hands are shaking almost too badly to get it to his mouth and he would not be vertical if Tim let go.  And sad.  Was he just stuck with those damn puppy dog eyes?  

But could Tim really blame him?  Enough people have kicked the shit out of Jon that he really can’t blame Jon for looking like a kicked puppy.  

Jon drinks cautiously.  He looks mildly surprised when nothing bad happens.  

Tim props him up against the back of the couch so he can pass Jon some more fever reducers.  Jon carefully takes those as well.  He shakily closes the still half full sports drink and closes his eyes again.  He’s listing sideways.   

It’s dark out when Jon wakes up again. He can’t quite recall what time of day it was when he was last conscious.  He thinks he might be slightly more aware.  Possibly.  

He’s still shivering and he still feels like death.  Grand.  

Something shifts under him and he starts.  

Oh.  Right.  Tim.  

“Jon, you awake?”

Since when does Tim talk to him like a person?  Like he hadn’t fucked up that badly.  

“Jon?”

Right.  Yes.  He’s supposed to answer.  He swallows.  His throat feels like sandpaper.  “Ngk.”  Well.  Not quite a word, but close enough, right?  It is enough to start him coughing in any case.

“Jesus Christ, Jon!”

Jon is hoisted into a sitting position fast enough to make his head swim.  He closes his eyes tightly to try to stop the room from spinning, but he’s still coughing and now he’s queasy again.  

By the time he catches his breath, tears are streaming down his face and he can feel someone (Tim) rubbing his back.  It feels…. Jon isn’t sure how it feels, but a lot and it makes his skin prickle not unpleasantly.  

“Jesus Fuck Jon.”

Jon doesn’t have the air to answer.  He feels himself sway.  He is lowered back down and a straw pushed into his mouth.  He cracks one eye open and sees a very blurry Tim (shit where have his glasses gone?) holding the same sports drink, this time with an addition of a .... is that a margarita straw?   The Eye helpfully informs him that it is.  Jon takes some careful sips until his throat feels a little less awful.  

He can see Tim’s mouth moving.   He hears his voice but he’s a little too far gone to make out words.   

Tim has been keeping up what he hopes is comforting, soothing one sided conversation.  He hopes.  He hopes it might help Jon, but Jon seems pretty far from aware right right now.  

“You’d probably rather have water or tea right now but I’m not Martin, and well... I think you need the salt and sugar...”

Jon only manages a few sips before the straw drops from his mouth.   

“Come on, Jon.  There’s no way you aren’t dehydrated.  I don’t want to take you to A&E.  You don’t want to go to A&E.  You really don’t want me to take you to A&E.”

“Sorry...”. Christ his voice is weak.  

“Stop apologizing.  You have done that to death today.  Maybe try again when you’re conscious.  Maybe I’ll even accept it.”

“Sorry.”

Tim sighs.  Obviously that’s not going to get through to Jon right now.  “Come on.  You’ve got to drink more.  You lost a fuck ton of liquids.  I know you did.  You haven’t even begun to make up for that.”

Jon whines.  Tim checks once again that there’s a bin within easy reach.  He still presses the straw to Jon’s mouth.  

Jon drinks.  

It takes a painfully long time, but he keeps it down.  Tim waits a wile to make sure that continues to be the case before he nudges Jon.  “You up for some soup?”  

Jon considers for a very long moment.  He’s having trouble concentrating on the question and honestly he’s hoping Tim will come up with an answer for him.  

“Jon?”  

“Maybe?”  It’s hardly a whisper.  

“Let’s try sitting you up first, okay?”

[black-streak]

Saturday night's alright for fighting (but Sundays are meant for rest) - Curious New Hobbies

Part 11!

My god this took a while to write! Special thanks to @st0rmy-w1th1n and @mysnis (hope this is your correct Tumblr) for bouncing ideas with me and @kceedraws for giving permission to use her breakdancing au as inspiration for this!

Tagsss: @persephonebutkore @emjrabbitwolf @mystery-5-5 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @fandomkitty8 @dast218 @silvergold-swirl @shizukiryuu . @my-name-is-michell @kurogaya913 @elspethshadow @thecatnipmademedoit @shamefullove @ladylucina28 @crazylittlemunchkin @rayray384 @cassiejaydee @yuulxd @ladysblackcat @naclychilli @caffeinetheory

~---~

They had meant to go the arcade for their date tonight. In fact, they'd even walked in and started scoping out games to play, but alas it wasn't to be.

Within moments of arriving, who else but Damian would single Mari out and immediately tell them to leave.

And of course she protested. In response, Damian only pointed at Jon over at the pacman machine (how dare he, that's the game Marinette was searching for!) and mentioned his lack of ability to keep secrets and suddenly she turned and dragged Tim right back out the door.

Walking down the sidewalk, he side eyed her, considering the best way to start his interrogation.

"So. You trying to keep me secret then?"

"No! Of course not. Just might've forgotten to mention something like… over a month ago."

"And it involves not letting Jon know we were there?"

"Only because he's a nark who would've ruined the fun. And heaven knows Damian and I wouldn't be satisfied with a void bet."

"You made a bet about our relationship with Damian?"

"About your family," she partially corrected.

"Do I even want to know."

"Was supposed to tell you a bit ago so you wouldn't ruin the stakes, so probably not, but im telling you anyways."

Sighing with false exasperation, he gestured for her to continue.

"We have an ongoing bet over how long it'll take everyone to figure out that you and I are together and not Dami and me."

With that, she relayed all the details of their bet and his part in it, manic grin spread across her face as her gait gained a small skip to it. Tim couldn't help but shake his head at her antics, amused despite an itch in the back of his mind saying this wouldn't end well.

"Alright, I'll play along. Honestly, I think you'll both lose. Your predictions are too specific. Too many potential outlying factors."

"True, but we did give set time frames. So at least one part of the bet will absolutely be clear on who won. Plus, I find victory in the fact that Damian didn't think of that possibility. That we'd both be wrong."

"On another note, we need to find a plan b. Anything in mind?" He asked, reaching out and snagging her hand to draw her closer. 

Shrugging, she looked about them, seeing if anything caught the eye. Suddenly Tim stopped, accidentally yanking her back when she kept walking. She let out a sound of protest only to see his eyes locked on the building across the way with a considering look. 

The building was gray brick with no windows, however a neon purple sign to the right of the black wood door declared it "The Underground", a well known club amongst Gotham dancers and while neither were necessarily that, word had gotten around enough for both to have heard of the place before from word of mouth.

"How do you feel about checking it out?" Tim asked, a curious look about his eyes, studying her.

"I'm not opposed to the idea. Little surprised you're interested though," she commented, letting him lead the way inside.

A quick ID check and they were in, the room dark with neon tube lights flashing across different surfaces and strategic spotlights placed to bring attention to the various raised platforms. It was strange actually. The wall directly to the left of the hall they entered from held the bar on a raised level only to slide into a ground level dance floor which was normal enough, however in the opposite corner was a raised platform where different people would hop up to take advantage of the spacing to show off both freestyle and blatantly choreographed moves. Another few spotlight platforms raised up randomly in the floor, but the main focus was a rather large circular one in the center of the place, raised just enough to make it easy to see from anywhere in the place, but not so high as to block the view across the way. These places were the most lit up, allowing the anonymity to the dancers below while allotting the attention to those who choose to step up. Beyond that, there were many crevices and alcoves holding tables into the walls and a small hallway across the way presumably heading to the bathrooms. An upper balcony held only the DJ.

While Mari took in her surroundings, she felt Tim lead her out into the crowds, before turning back to her with a questioning look. Leaning in she spoke into his ear, a spark gleaning her eyes, "You've been before, haven't you?"

"A few times. It's the perfect place to destress without the nonsense of keeping an image. As long as you stay in the crowd, no one cares who you are," he replied, spinning her around before stepping in so her back pressed to his chest.  His hands ghosted down her sides to grasp her hips, starting to guide her into the beat.

For a while, they stayed like that, separating slightly and coming back together to follow different dances as the music flowed and changed around them. Turns out Tim was a surprisingly good dancer. 

Cheers broke out as a new song turned over, the first beats of Bum Bum Tam Tam coming over the speakers drawing attention towards the main platform as a pair jumped up, starting to get into the beat, working around each other only to burst into perfectly synced choreography at the first breakdown, resulting in more cheers. The two dancers would break away after that into a more freestyle, only to flow back into more rehearsed moves once more.

"Wait is that," she trailed off to a groan pressed to her shoulder.

"Yeah. That's them. Didn't know they came here."

As the song came to an end and the two on the platform jumped down, they could only stare as none other than Dick and Kori unknowingly made their way towards them. Tim pulled back from Mari subconsciously, not quite comfortable being so fully on display in front of people who actually knew them. Which made exactly zero sense when considering how much they cuddled in the manor. 

Finally the two spotted them, their grins widening and a new energy emerging as they rushed over. 

"Timothy! Starshine! You guys are here!" Came Kori's exuberant greeting, grabbing them both up in a hug.

"Hey, Mar, Damian not like dancing enough? Had to drag Timmy out?" Dick teased.

"Dami's at the arcade with Jon. And actually, coming here was Tim's idea," she answered amicably, conforming to the rules of the bet and not correcting Dick's obvious assumptions. "That was amazing by the way. You two looked great up there!"

Tim smirked down at her, seeing through her antics, especially now that she'd let him in on the rules of her game. Doesn't mean he couldn't play into it himself, he thought as he wrapped an arm around her waist and placed his chin atop her head.

"She's a great dance partner," Tim mentioned after both Kori and Dick had thanked and waved off Mari's compliments. "Considering learning something more structured with her, myself. Maybe give you two a run for your money."

"You definitely should! I can help with figuring out a style for you two if you'd like!" Kori offered immediately as Marinette turned to look at him in excitement.

"She has to agree first. Who knows, maybe this was a fluke and Mari will never dance with me again," he sighed in defeat.

Marinette turned, practically bouncing in anticipation, "Are you kidding? I'd love to! I want to come here again too."

"Even if you don't take my help with the dancing, I can record you two so you can look back and see for any needed improvements? That's what Richard and I do," Kori further offered up, Dick jumping back in right after.

"Oh yeah, it helps immensely. Especially if you were wanting to perform it on the platforms here."

Tim and Mari met eyes, before coming to an agreement, "Yeah, we'd appreciate that actually."

"Great! We'll set up some time here soon. In the meantime, I could definitely use a drink," Dick stated, looking back towards where he'd originally been headed. Kori grabbed onto Marinette instead, leading her back into the fray of dancers.

"We should invite Stephanie next. She would make a most interesting dance partner," Kori rattled on, suggesting a girls night that Mari agreed to immediately before getting back into the music with her new dance partner of the moment, Tim and Dick rejoining them shortly after. 

The night continued on this way, the four trading off between them, two not aware that it'd become a double date by this point. Eventually parting ways from the two, Tim and Mari made their way back towards his apartment, breathless and happy despite the unexpected interruptions to their night.

"How come we never end up at your place?" He asked suddenly.

"Because my apartment has become workzone number 2. Seriously, the place has essentially become a studio for my work that just so happens to have a kitchen and bedroom. Among other secrets not meant to be divulged… yet."

"Is that pertaining to the mystery of your magic."

"Perhaps."

"Mmm, whenever you're ready, I'll be happy to keep them for you. Though I can't imagine anything bigger than holding two technical gods in your pockets at all times."

"Shhh, don't let them hear you say that!"

He only chuckled, leading her into the complex and up to his penthouse. Silence overtaking them until the door had clicked shut.

"You staying the night, sweetheart?" Tim asked, toeing off his shoes and walking towards his room to get changed.

"Mm, think I might," she replied, following him in and stealing a shirt before wandering into the bathroom to get first dibs on a shower. She still found it lucky that while he might be the shortest of his brothers, she was still small enough to be buried in his clothes. Made it easier for night like these.

Finishing up, she plopped herself on his bad as he went to shower as well. 

Eventually, the door reopened, Tim entering in only pajama bottoms, hair still damp and in his face. She hummed her appreciation, enjoying the view and reaching out to tug him closer.

"Is it weird how comfortable we've become in so little time?" 

"Only if you're uncomfortable with it."

"I'm not."

"Good."

With the affirmation, he picked her up only to lay her out further up the bed. Stretching out at her side, he pressed kisses to her cheek and down her neck, hand trailing against exposed skin, clearly enjoying having her in his home, in his bed, in his shirt.

'Hmm, what were two raging insomniacs to do with the rest of their night?'

… 

Bonus:

Not a week later, after a long discussion with Damian to ensure that Kori was not included in the bet and swearing the alien to secrecy, they asked her to film something for them. A dance they had come with that was just for them. Not anything that could be performed in a club or for anyone to see. Maybe one day they'd post it somewhere or show Dick, but for now, it was theirs alone.

[celsidebottom]

AO3 Year In Review - 2020

I’ve seen a few of these going around so I decided to do my own!

Total fics posted: 44

Total words: 83,304

Top fandom: Rusty Quill Gaming with 29 fics!  (The Magnus Archives is in second place, with 13, and Stellar Firma and Inn Between both only had 1)

First fic posted this year: A Night Off, a Basira/Daisy/Melanie fic where they take a well-deserved break from the nonsense of the Archives.  Posted January 1, 2020, as part of a tma femslash event

Top oneshot: Accidental Confessions, where Jon is an adorable nerd who keeps casually saying “I love you” to Martin when he doesn’t intend to.  It was inspired by this amazing comic and of course the desire for more safehouse shenanigans

Top multi-chapter fic: Keeping Up with the Kobolds.  Wilde suddenly becomes responsible for a horde of kobolds who have taken up residence in the inn.  At first he hates them, but, naturally, they grow into an adorable little family.  I just love the kobolds, y’all.  Of all the fics I’ve written, this is one of my favorites.  It’s just so sweet and adorable, with cuddles and love, while still addressing the terrors that both the kobolds and Wilde have faced, but they face them together as a family.

Fic I’m most proud of: Hope on the Horizon, which was written for this year’s Rusty Quill Big Bang!  Zolf captains a privateer vessel in service to the Meritocrats with Sasha, Cel, Azu, Grizzop, Hamid, and Skraak on his crew.  They are tasked with tracking down the krakens and Shoin, saving the world and forming their own family as they go.  When I first planned this fic, I almost didn’t expect it to break the 10k word minimum, and then it clocked in at nearly 25k.  I am so proud of myself for having put all of this together, and the way it turned out is more amazing than I could have anticipated.  It’s about the drama and the found family and bringing everyone together (minus Bertie of course). 

Fic I wish got more attention: Something Like Hope.  It’s a fairytale retelling with Basira and Daisy, where Daisy is the princess trapped in a tower to protect the people from the beast she turns into at night.  Only true love can break the curse, but she is aromantic.  Basira, a knight, rescues Daisy from the tower regardless and they make their own bond and find their own love that magic can’t deny.  I Can and Will make every ship a queerplatonic relationship and I am So here for qp Dasira.  QPRs need more representation!  And it’s a twist on a fairytale so, I mean, c’mon

Favorite Quote/Passage: I have to do two, one serious and one silly, because that’s who I am as a person.

Holding Hamid in her arms feels as natural as anything at this point.  Even with bars around them, some strange figure watching them from afar, and Hamid asleep, Azu pulls him into her embrace and holds him tight.  She may not be able to get them out of this unknown quarantine, but she can protect him.

She can hold him when he’s bleeding from a fight, shaking and scared, skin covered in the faintest trace of scales.  The light of Aphrodite flows through her and into his flesh, knitting the wounds.  Though Aphrodite’s touch does nothing for Hamid’s fear, Azu’s embrace helps to wipe it away.

She can hold him when he’s drunk and exhausted from partying with goblins and orcs in the middle of Damascus.  Azu scoops Hamid up into her arms to carry him away and back to their quest, and he nestles against her, still singing along to the music in the city as he dozes off.

She can hold him when they realize they’re all that’s left now.   Sasha and Grizzop are gone.  They have their blood relations, safe and sound, but there’s another part of their family that is missing in the void, and they have no way of knowing if they’re safe, no way of finding them and rescuing them.  Azu holds Hamid tighter than ever before; she will not lose the rest of this family she’s made.

And as quarantine stretches on for a week, waiting in a dark, dingy cell, Azu holds Hamid again.  They don’t know what’s happening or what comes next, but a little hug never hurt.

From A Little Hug Never Hurt, written for Azu Week 2020

“Wait – Bathin, Bathin?”

“Yes, David, how many people have you heard of with such a stupid name?”

“He’s going to be here?”  David squeaked.  “In that room?  And we’re going to get to… talk to him?”

“Unfortunately, yes.  His smug, hideous face is going to be here and, apparently, I’m not allowed to punch clients – which was not in what I remember of the sales handbook, but they have informed me of it several times,” Trexel pondered.  “Normally, a salesperson can recuse themselves from a brief for reasons such as overwhelming hatred of the client, but!  David!  We are brave!  We are dutiful!  We will sell Bathin the best darn planet he has ever seen!  Because we are the best sales to ever sales.  David, are you listening to me?”

David broke out of his daydreaming.  The angelic face of Bathin was replaced by the sweaty face of Trexel, shouting at him and frowning.   Only a few more minutes until he would actually meet Bathin.  After so many hours of dreaming of it, it was going to happen!  With… Trexel there.  Yelling.  And being… Trexel.

From The Stuff of Daydreams, aka Give David 7 a Boyfriend 2020

Alright!  I can’t believe I wrote that many words for AO3 alone, since I post a lot of fics on my writing blog too that don’t make it there.  I didn’t complete some of the projects I wanted to this year, but I still wrote a lot more than I thought I did, and I’m proud of that at least!  2020 was a mess, but I hope that my fics might have made someone smile, because I know they kept me going during all of this.

[bigskydreaming]

The Ric Grayson AND Talon storylines both end at the same time, and in the same way:

Great Grandpa Creeper Cobb successfully manipulates Ric into position to be brainwashed and become the Talon that Willie the Weenie has always wanted him to be.....this happens for like, two issues.

Then Grandpa Get Ye To A Graveyard Already fucks up....he accidentally brings Talon Ric within sighting distance of the Court’s latest crop of prospective Talon recruits, including a wee baby ten year old orphan being trained to be a future Talon.

And the essential corn kernel of Dick Grayson’s essence, deep down in his psyche, just fucking POPS like its Orville Redenbacher and someone just nuked it in the microwave.

And the real Dick Grayson comes SHRIEKING to the forefront of Talon!Ric’s brain, nothing subtle about it, and the next thing his Rancid Relative knows, he’s being fucking impaled by his great grandson’s blades as said great grandson, who is SUPPOSED to be docilely brainwashed, wtf, is already halfway across the room, diving into the mass of other Talons like they’re a collection of bowling pins and he’s a wrecking ball straight out of a Miley Cyrus music video, but instead of the caterwauling lyrics “I never hit so haaaaaaaard in love,” Dick’s accompanied by a soundtrack of him screaming:

“I WILL PROTECT YOU SMOL CHILD!!!”

As said smol child is just standing there, staring, like....dude, wut?

And then Dick finishes absolutely DESTROYING everything undead and nefarious in sight like he’s the Tasmanian Devil on meth, and he turns to said smol child and begins the process of Smothering, as his hands flutter all up and down checking for injuries but not touching, like: 

“Did they hurt you are you alright you’re safe now cough once for I’m all good or punch me in the no-no’s if I’m making you feel unsafe, I will make sure you are totally safe from here on out, you are my baby now, I have decided, but like, only if you want to be.”

And smol child is decidedly overwhelmed but Man-Who-Speaks-Like-He-Has-Pixie-Sticks-In-Place-Of-Blood-Vessels seems harmless, if weird, and is definitely preferable to the weird Bird Men who kidnapped him off the streets and tried to teach him how to kill people and make death threats out of nursery rhymes. And he doesn’t have a lot of experience in OTHER subterranean lairs to compare this one too, but he’s decidedly not a fan, so when Dick asks if he would like him to take him to see Batman and Batgirl and Robin and other superheroes who can also reassure him there will be no more homework on How To Torture People Good, he’s like....”yeah I guess. If you want.”

And so Dick scoops him up with glee and takes off through the tunnels, yelling back over his shoulder: “Bye Greatly-Gross-Grandpa, hate you lots, don’t call, don’t write, you’re officially off my Christmas card list, hasta la neeeeeeeeeever.”

Thereupon swiftly grappling across the Bludhaven rooftops, yelling PARKOUR! just because he can and its fun, and its weirdly relaxing for his wee passenger, because look, this dude may be weird as fuck, but he’s clearly got the moves to protect him from the Undead Legions of Ornithologists and he seems too....fun to be evil, like not in the Joker kinda way like he’s seen on TV in previous foster homes where its like, jeez dude, try hard much, but more like an adult who just quit a soul-crushing cubicle-dwelling corporate-craphole job and has suddenly been reminded that the sky is blue, flowers smell good, and there IS a Santa Claus, Virginia.

Thus by the time they arrive at Wayne Manor, with no attempt made to hide where they’re going from his wee passenger’s eyes - Dick has already decided he’s keeping the kid, pending said kid’s approval but look, kids like him and he’s determined to bring his A game to the pitch meeting, so he likes his chances - said wee passenger disembarks in the Batcave but stays close by, clinging to Dick’s side in an ever so slight way that allows for plausible deniability later, once he gets his bearings and also his bravado back.

“Dick?!” Comes the chorus of voices from the rest of the family, who are all there already, by great coincidence and in great defiance of the crapfests in their own individual titles, but also who the fuck cares. And Dick puffs out his chest, cuz he’s putting on a good show for his new kiddo, first impressions are important...

“Tis I, fam! The one true Dick Grayson has returned! Huzzah!”

Look, being completely oblivious to his Greatest Dork Energy coinciding with his Times He Most Attempts To Be Impressive, is like, Peak Dick Grayson characterization, you can trust me, I’m a doctor. 

And Tim’s like, “Why are you dressed like a Talon?”

And Dick’s like, “Isn’t the better question why AREN’T you dressed like a Talon?”

Which makes no sense but shhh, I’m running out of steam here, don’t question the atmosphere, just let it be.

And Bruce is like, “Who’s your friend?”

With like...designs and agendas already in mind, because said wee Talon-to-be is cute and adorable and bravely trying to act like he is not at all intimidated by his surroundings and is in total control of what’s going on like, he meant to be here, this is all according to plan, yes, excellent, everything is progressing nicely....

Which as everyone knows, are the three key essential traits Bruce looks for in prospective adoptees....

So Dick snarls and later blames it on residual Talon-ness, they’re very territorial bird...assassin....people....anyway, the adrenaline is still high and also he has swiftly become attached because whether kiddo knows it or not, Dick 100% credits him with the brainwash-breaking and thus when factored in with the cuteness quotient, what we have here is an instant recipe for Protectiveness slash Possessiveness that would be creepy and inappropriate if this wasn’t pure crack. 

But crack it is, and thus Dick curls a protective arm around the kiddo like the lap-bar on a particularly turbulent roller coaster and applies G-Force sufficient to keep even Superman from prying him out of his hands - but in a gentle, non- ’crushing kinda way that might hurt the kiddo,’ even though physics doesn’t work like that, except look, these are CRACK PHYSICS, they can and they do work like that. 

And he’s all, “I already adopted him, so back off, Bruce, I’ll cut you. But also hi dad, I missed you. In spirit I mean, like I had amnesia and then I was brainwashed so technically its probably a reach to say I missed anyone but just roll with it. Also I can haz hugs now, please?”

And then Damian apparates in front of Dick amid a cloud of Disapproval that’s really just a cover for OMG-I-Was-Without-You-And-It-Was-Terrible-And-I’m-So-Glad-You’re-Back-But-Also-Who-Is-This-Interloper-And-Why-Is-He-Stealing-My-Hug.

“Tt. Grayson. Your absence was...less than desirable. See to it that this doesn’t happen again. Also what is that and why is it here.”

“Aww, Dami, I’m sorry. I promise to install a “please have the nearest available psychic reboot my brain in case of future brain damage slash amnesia” clause in my living will, and soon as I get a free second, I’ll break the fourth wall and blackmail the DC editorial staff into declaring me off-limits for all death, brainwashing and/or kidnapping plots for at least the next four major crossover events. I have naughty pictures. They’ll cave.”

“Hmph,” Dami says. He resumes staring pointedly at the kiddo, who juts his chin defiantly and stares back while clinging more tightly to Dick, because he may have very little clue what’s going on, but he’s a quick one and has at least picked up on the fact that Dick wants him and this other kid wants Dick. Which combined with the rescuing and the kicking of bad guy ass means Dick is probably Quality and In Demand and Of Value, and thus he might as well stake a claim now and worry about whether or not to act on that or skedaddle later, once he’s got more intel. He’s a natural Bat, this one, but then, that’s probably why he was in Toddler Talon Boot Camp, he scored high on whatever weird aptitude tests they used to scope out talent, and by talent we mean murder-skills.

“Dami,” Dick admonishes then, “This isn’t an it, he’s a person, and he was recently traumatized so promise me you’ll be on your best behavior or at least your ‘engaging in shenanigans with Jon’ behavior. And he’s not competition, you’re my Dames and my little bro, and he’s potentially your nephew, which is a whole separate category and no threat to you and your baby bro status at all, so retract the claws. If anything, the real danger is Pops adopting him and thus supplanting you as the official Baby Bird of our generation, so make like an ally and help me get that dangerous “I’m gonna adopt this kid so hard” gleam out of Bruce’s eye before it gets any gleamier. We’re still only halfway through my tearful reunion and having to cut Dad before we even get to cake would be a major mood-killer, but I’ll do it, I swear. Also, get your Baby Bird behind over here and hug me already, I have two arms.”

Damian rolled his eyes but obediently disappeared and reappeared nestled against Dick’s other side in the blink of an eye. The proper application of ninja skills has always been the pursuance of hugs and cuddles. Thus sayeth the crack.

“Hey, I do get cake, right?” Dick asked suddenly, looking around dangerously. “I was amnesiac and also brainwashed, I deserve cake, TELL me there’s gonna be cake.”

“Well that answers whether or not we should be worried about this being an attempted infiltration or not,” Jason says, strolling over casually. “No impostor or brainwashing script-writer could ever duplicate the Essence de Dick so perfectly. Hey squirt. Welcome to the madhouse. I’m Jason, what’s your name?”

“Oh right,” Dick realized, cocking his head. “Hey, what is your name?”

“Really, Dick?” Tim sighed, fondly exasperated. “I realize you like to jump from A straight to Z whenever possible, but steps B through Y aren’t usually just mere suggestions.”

“It hadn’t come up yet,” Dick defended himself.

“Yes, why would it have,” Duke mused from where he was leaning over and snapping his fingers in front of Bruce’s eyes, in a futile attempt at tearing his gaze away from the viable adoption candidate within 20 meters from him. It was probably best that they get this adoption thing inked out and signed off on as soon as possible - it was the only thing that was definitively going to get that “Argh, I’ve spotted treasure ahoy” look out of Bruce’s eyes. And Alfred had been very clear :Bruce was forbidden to adopt any more kids himself until he got a better handle on juggling the six he already had. Which. The past year had...probably not met Alfred’s standards on, so it didn’t seem likely he’d be waiving that requirement any time soon. 

(And nobody wanted to get in between the Unstoppable Force that was Bruce’s ‘must adopt all the orphans’ and the Immovable Object that was Alfred’s ‘must maintain at least a reasonable fascimile of order in this household, even if it is a total sham, appearances matter.’)

“Hey!” Dick protested. “I’ve been busy, okay? There was fighting and then there was parkouring and now we’re reunifying, and it wasn’t like I was just calling him ‘that kid’ in my head, I was calling him ‘my kiddo’ which is a perfectly reasonable identifier and thus more specific detail just....hadn’t been relevant yet!”

“So uh, bee tee dubs, what is your name, buddy?” Dick asked, looking down. His kiddo looked back up at him for a long, measuring moment, and then he shrugged.

“I’ll tell you in exchange for some cake. You said something about there being cake, but I don’t see any.”

Dick got misty-eyed at that. “See? He already prioritizes like me. This was destiny! Also, you heard my kiddo, do we not deserve cake? It has been a very long day, there was murder and mayhem and more. Also, my creeper great grandpa was there being icksome, and you know how much that weirds me out.”

“Come along, Master Dick,” Alfred said then, appearing out of nowhere thanks to his Bat-Butler Magic. “And your young charge as well. I already have your favorite baking in the oven and it should be done shortly. Lemon meringue with raspberry layers.”

“That’s disgusting and I will not participate in any ceremony that treats that as part of a celebration instead of just a weird kind of laxative,” Jason said loftily, though it escaped no one’s notice that he was the first to the stairs.

“Shut your facehole, its delicious and amazing and you will like it or I will kick your ass,” Dick said, equally loftily.

“Boys,” Bruce said with a long-suffering sigh, as the threat of brotherly bloodshed was enough to finally shake him out of his orphan-induced stupor.

“At MARIO KART. I will kick his ass at MARIO KART, ugh, jeez, B, why do you always assume the worst of us?”

“Precedent,” Tim said dryly.

“Who the hell asked the Oompa Loompa Brigade to weigh in with all ninety of his pounds?” Jason called back from the top of the stairs. 

Cass came up on Dick’s left, where the kiddo was one half of the sandwich made by him and Damian on Dick’s other side. She smiled down at him when he directed his still very wide-eyed gaze at her, landing on her after his latest sweep of the cavern and all its contained chaos, as if trying to take it all in - most likely in the hopes that if he could manage that, somehow the last 72 hours of his life might suddenly make sense. He really was adorable.

“Don’t worry,” she beamed at him, reaching out to pat him comfortingly on his shoulder, right above where Dick’s arm was still curled around it like a warm blanket - albeit one with the tensile hold of a python. “They’re all crazy, but only in the good ways.”

Duke scoffed as he slipped ahead of them and started taking the stairs two at a time. “It’s funny how you say that like you’re some kind of exception to the rule.”

“Bold words, little brother,” Cass called after him. He only shouted back from the top in a booming voice, his words echoing down the narrow stone stairway dramatically.

“Am I not Batclan?”

“Oooh, is that a new thing we’re doing?” Dick asked excitedly. “Somebody catch me up, I demand context. I smell a story there.”

“It was Jason’s fault,” Tim said automatically. Dick nodded.

“Sure, that tracks. Continue.”

Bruce trailed after his brood of batlings and birdlets, sidling over to where Barbara was waiting for the elevator. The latter having hung back to watch the commotion with the air of one taking notes for repurposing in the form of future blackmail material. Her ever extending network of spies and informants made so much more sense, suddenly.

He cleared his throat while they listened to the hum of the elevator’s machinery as it descended to their level.

“I wasn’t really thinking of adopting the boy,” he said. Not at all sullenly, nor with a trace of defensiveness to be found.

“Of course you weren’t, Bruce,” Barbara said. She patted his arm fondly, with all the conviction of a kindergarten teacher whose student was attempting to claim innocence on the matter of a paint disaster perfectly matching the paint stains on his hands.

“I wasn’t,” Bruce muttered as she preceded him into the elevator. 

Why did nobody ever believe him?

[arabellaflynn]

A friend of mine was tolerating my drunken fangirling last weekend, patiently agreeing that yes, it is the cutest thing ever when Stephen Colbert turns around to hit on his off-camera wife every time he fucks up a line in his monologue. And yeah, I keep watching that because he's being comfortingly sane/angry right now, but also because it feels like representation, in a weird sort of way.

Colbert is, in many respects, what a lot of people would think of as the quintessential American: A straight, white, Christian man, married with kids, on a lifelong career path that has earned him substantial material wealth. Left to his own devices, he dresses like the dadliest dad who ever dadded. He's expressed some ambivalence about the knowledge that at least some of his media clout comes from this. On the one hand, he is perhaps not the best person to speak to the lived experience of institutional disadvantage; on the other, there are a lot of straight white Christian men in America who just don't feel the need to listen to anyone who isn't a straight white Christian man in America, and there's a lot he can do to redirect that.

But he's also just generally unconventional. Not just off-the-wall comedy. Like, personally not what you would expect from someone who teaches Sunday school, and looks more and more like Ward Cleaver's goofy little brother with every passing year.

About six months into his Late Show gig, the guests started getting it into their heads that the host could be kissed. I'm a little surprised it took them that long; I'm not at all surprised that it was started by Helen Mirren, always a lady with a fine sense of shenanigans. Sally Field went for it with more gusto the next day. Jeff Daniels managed to be more restrained.

Colbert generally ignores it when he accidentally touches off a tempest in a Twitter feed, but this time he opted to make a few remarks about what he termed "an eventful week for my face". In them, he makes it very clear that he did check in with his wife, and he is Definitely Allowed To Do That. He personally thought everything was fine, and in fact was going to take the opportunity to be smug, because holy shit you guys, Helen Mirren. 

I will note that "she's cool with it" here does not appear to be a euphemism for "I fucked up and she forgave me". It means "she says it's fine if I make out with Spider-Man in front of a live studio audience". I expect he did actually double check, because that's what a reasonable adult would do, but I also expect that they hashed this out in the general case like thirty years ago. One, Colbert has been kissing his friends, on the lips or otherwise, for as long as I can find him on video. Sometimes for the sake of a joke, sometimes to make a point, and sometimes because they've just won an Emmy and he feels like it. And two, Mirren got a second kiss at the end of that interview, one that he started. Which seems like a thing he wouldn't have done if he were already afraid he'd be sleeping on the couch that night.

Colbert has not said a word about it since. And no one has asked him. 

Another thing nobody ever mentions is how Colbert is one of the few straight male actors whom I've ever seen pull off a transparent closet joke without being derogatory. He's actually done it twice, as long-running gags on two separate series: The "secret gay affair" variant playing opposite Paul Dinello on Strangers With Candy, and the "strangely romantic-looking friendship" one with Jon Stewart on The Colbert Report (spilling over onto The Daily Show, The Late Show, and at this point probably his actual life). There's a lot about the specific writing and general sensibilities of both shows that contributes to that, but much of what sells it is that Colbert looks completely, genuinely comfortable with those performances. I imagine it helped that both times he was working with someone he was close to in real life, but also he just seems to be fine with sharing personal space in a way that straight men are typically not.

Colbert can get pretty grabby-hands with his favorite people off stage, too. He's shared various snapshots from Second City over the years. There's a bunch in some the "Stephen Has A Story" segments from LSSC. If there's another human being in the photo with him, he's probably trying to cuddle them. It's continued through the decades. I'm pretty sure when he does a bit with Jon Stewart the stage crew just puts down one spike for the both of them. They made it maybe a year, year and a half into doing The Daily Show together before they were poking at each other and stealing props right out of the other one's bin behind the desk. Colbert is so un-self-conscious about it that most people treat it as invisible. 

I couldn't say for sure when he decided that he was free to loll all over people he liked, but my bet is probably at Second City, where he credits Dinello and Amy Sedaris with breaking him of an unfortunate tendency to take himself, and everything else, way too seriously. I don't know what he was like prior, because touring with Second City is essentially when his public career started. Nothing before that is really any of my business; hunting anything down would make me feel damned creepy.

And, again, nobody has ever asked him. He does seem to be aware that he is not always adhering to social expectation here, but also that if he acts casual, everyone else will just assume it's not really a thing. On the odd occasion when Colbert does feel like making a point about other men not having cooties, he has to bring it up himself.

None of the above is beyond-the-pale weird, but it's the kind of thing that you wouldn't normally guess of a devoutly-religious middle-aged straight dude. A lot of it is stuff that men are still under a lot of pressure not to do, like show feelings that aren't pride or rage, or be physically affectionate with people who aren't your partner/children. It's more suggestive of someone who believes that the relationships in your life -- with your friends, your family, your society, and even your God -- are very much what you say they are, and not what other people say they should be. 

The greatest significance of this, I think, is not necessarily that he's been behaving this way for as long as he's been a public performer, or even that he's behaving this way at this particular point in human history. It's that he's behaving this way at this particular point in his life. 

Colbert is in his mid~late 50s. From the point of view of someone in their late teens to early twenties, still trying to figure out how the fuck humans are supposed to work, he's the Old Guy. Stuff the Old Guy does isn't radical innovation. It's the boring standard. And the boring standard that Colbert is setting is that negotiating something that works and makes you happy is more important than being "normal" or "respectable". You communicate with your spouse like you're both functional adults. You tell the people you love that you love them and don't think twice about who can hear you. 

These are things I've been ranting about for most of my life. People don't do them enough. Judging from the advice columns of the world, emotional negotiation is a skill very few people have bothered to develop. I do kind of wish someone would ask Colbert about it directly, because I'm curious, and talking about it is always beneficial, but that's secondary. I really just like seeing someone else demonstrate it in public.

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[gameofthronesmarvelfanfics]

His Warrior Wolf

Summary: You’re Jon Snow’s twin sister, you’re a fighter who finds her way back to her family, and Tormund likes it.

Pairing: Tormund Giantsbane x stark/snow!reader, Jon Snow x Sister!reader

Wordcount:  2095

Beta reader: @eggplant-bi

Warnings: fluff, angst, implied sexy times, first time writing Game of Thrones and Tormund, badly characterised probably, children

When you met Tormund all those moons ago, you never expected to fall for the free man kissed by fire.

You saw him as a partner, someone to spar and have a drink with, in him you found a fast friend, and in you he saw a southern lady (by free folk standards), who could hold her drink and hold a sword as well as any man could, for him it was love at first sight.

*flashback*

You rode into your old home of Winterfell, having ridden your chestnut horse, Cleaver, she was as tired as you were as you approached the gate at the city walls.

The guards stopped you in your tracks, so you dismounted your horse, your head still down, and you spoke.

“I seek presence with the King in the North, you don’t happen to know if he’s here do you?” you asked them.

“Who are you? What is your need of the King?” one of the men replied.

You tutted, removed your hood and lifted your head, hair blowing in the wind just as your cloak was.

Their mouths dropped in shock at the sight of your face, everyone presumed you dead when Cersei took the crown, but here you were; scars on your face from all the fights you had won and dressed as a man.

You placed your hand on the sword that was at your side, preparing to remove it from its sheath.

“Look, gentlemen, I haven’t got all day, so I’ll ask again. The King, is he here?” you huffed, becoming increasingly agitated with them.

“Right this way, my Lady,” the other spoke, looking at your chest as if it was the last cake in the bakers.

You cracked your jaw, removed your hand from your sword and used it to grab his face and pushed him against the nearest wall, the other hand flipped the dagger from its hilt, pressing it against his neck.

“Two things before I go in.” You turned to the other guard.

“This applies to you as well,” you said, pointing the dagger at him before turning back.

“Number one, if I ever catch you looking at mine or any woman like that again,” you moved the blade down as you spoke, “I will cut this off and display it as a warning to others, is that understood?”

He nodded, so you pulled away to look at their faces, placing the dagger back where you retrieved it from and climbing back onto Cleaver.

They scrambled to open the gate.

“And number two,” you looked ahead, “I’m no Lady.” you told them, riding into the place you once called home.

You felt eyes on you as you entered. You stalled Cleaver and turned your head to see a tall, bearded, red-haired man, dressed in furs from head to toe.

“You don’t happen to know where I can find Jon Snow do you?”

He stared at you in complete awe, as if he couldn’t believe you were talking to him, you were about to ask again when there was a call of your name.

“(y/n)?” You turn your head to the voice, seeing a face you hadn’t seen in a while.

“Jon.” You said to the man across the court.

You climbed off of Cleaver, and made your way over to him. as he did the same.

You embraced your twin brother in a hug.

Until you pulled away and hit his arm with all the force you could muster.

He winced.

“Seven hells sister, what was that for?” he asked, rubbing his arm.

“I’ve been missing for five years and you never thought to find me! That’s what it’s for!” You hit him again.

“Ow! I did look for you, you idiot!”

“Don’t you call me an idiot, Jon Snow! Now where’s Sansa?”

“Why?” he asked

“Because I heard about Ramsey and I’d like to make sure my little sister is okay, if it’s all the same with you,” you curtsied, picking up imaginary skirts, “Your majesty.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat.

Tormund watched your exchange from where you left.

The laugh that escaped your lips as you ‘curtsied’ made his heart flutter in his chest.

He knew then and there that you were the perfect woman.

*End of flashback*

Since that day, you and Tormund had grown closer than either of you had ever come to another human before.

You listened to his stories of the Free Folk, and all the battles and pillages he had been through.

He listened to you talk about your life, before King Robert asked your father to be his hand.

He listened to everything you said and you did the same with him.

One night, when you couldn’t sleep because your head was full of scared thoughts of the coming war and if you and everyone you loved would die, you got out from under your covers and made your way down to Tormund’s room, in the hopes he’d still be awake.

You knocked lightly on his door, nervously ringing your hands as you waited.

The door opening startled you.

“Little wolf, are you okay?” he asked you, his voice was gruff as he if had just woken up.

“I- I couldn’t sleep and I hoped you’d be awake, s- so we could talk, maybe?”

You tried to look up at his face but the mere presence of him made you too nervous to do so.

“Of course little wolf, I’m always here for you, ” he told you, pulling you into a hug.

You reached up on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck, placing your head in the crook of it.

Tears started to fall from your eyes as you two stood there.

You sniffled and he pulled away from you. You removed your arms and wiped your tears away.

“Sorry.”

“(y/n), there’s no need to apologise.”

“I feel so defenseless, I could lose everything to this war and I finally found someone I care about more than anything in the world and I’m going to lose him.” you admitted.

Tormund felt jealousy bubble in his chest.

“I- I’m going to lose you and I won’t be able to cope.”

“I don’t want to die a maiden either,” you added, hoping he’d catch the meaning in what you were trying to say.

Finally gaining the confidence to look him in the eyes, he looked at you, his face unreadable.

That was until he started to lean down, his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck again, this time to pull him against you.

His beard was rough against your face but you didn’t care.

He picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist, slowly backing into his chambers as the kiss continued.

“Don’t worry my wolf, I’ll take care of you tonight.” He whispered, pulling away from your lips and placing his forehead against yours lightly, before leaning back in a kiss.

*time skip to the next morning*

You awoke to you and Tormund cuddling, him facing you, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head in the crook of your neck as yours was last night.

You were both deprived of any clothing.

You sighed in contentment, he stirred in his sleep pulling you closer to him.

You chuckled lightly, accidentally waking him from his slumber.

“Morning my love.” he whispered kissing your forehead lightly.

“Morning my darling. I should get dressed, Jon will come looking for me soon and I think he may kill you if he catches me naked in your bedchambers,” you whispered back as he kissed your neck.

“Or, we could just stay here and fuck,” he said, lips still against your neck.

You hummed in agreement, as he kissed up your jaw eventually reaching your mouth.

You smiled against his lips, realising in that moment just how much you loved him.

Everything was bliss, until there was a knock on the door, making you both raise your heads in shock.

“Tormund, have you seen (y/n)? I haven’t seen her all morning and I’m starting to worry.”

You quickly got off his bed and started searching your clothes, occasionally throwing some at Tormund who gladfully took them from you.

“No, I haven’t seen her, but she’s a grown woman I’m sure she’ll be fine.” he spoke, putting on his undergarments and other items of clothing. Getting ready to open the door to your brother if it came to it.

“Oh well, if you see her let her know I’m looking for her would you?”

You tried to suppress a laugh at your brothers cluelessness, but failed miserably and laughed loudly.

Your hands flew to your mouth as Tormund glared at the door. Waiting for the inevitable response from your brother.

“Tormund, is she in there with you?” anger was laced in your brothers words which scared you, Jon had never been angry at you, sure, you had annoyed him in the past, but you were siblings it was expected.

Tears welled in your eyes as fear raced through you like an arrow, you stood stock still, your nightdress loosely hanging off your shaking frame, even with every fight you’ve ever been in, the thought of your brother catching you with a man terrified you.

Before you could sink to your knees Tormund caught you in his arms.

“Little wolf, please don’t cry, it’ll be alright, I promise.” he whispered to you.

For such a tough man he had a soft side that he showed only to you.

He pulled away from the hug, walking to the door and opening it revealing the angry face of your twin.

“Jon, (y/n) is in here with me, she got scared and worried  last night so came to see me, I promised to protect her.”

‘Okay that wasn’t as bad as what I thought he was going to say’ you thought.

“And then we made passionate love all night.”

‘Okay this is officially a nightmare come true’ you looked to him and your brother.

Your brothers hand clenched to a fist.

Tormund was unsurprisingly relaxed.

“Because that is what I feel for her is love, has been since the moment she rode in through the gates and punched you on the arm.” he confessed

“So please, do whatever you want to me, just know it won’t change what I feel for her.”

You were still looking at your brothers fist, which he was getting punch Tormund with.

“JON SNOW! IF YOU SO MUCH AS PLACE A HAND ON HIM YOU WON’T HAVE ANY BY THE TIME I’M DONE WITH YOU! IS. THAT. UNDERSTOOD?!” you screamed at you brother, who then looked at you, a scandalised expression on his pale face, fist uncurling in fear of your rage.

Your eyes widened in shock at yourself, never having shouted at any of your siblings in such a manner.

“Oh seven hells I sound like Catelyn.” you realised out loud, placing your head in your hands, laughing lightly.

Jon spoke up after a few seconds having come down from the initial shock of it all.

“I’ll allow this,” he coughed “relationship, on two conditions, one, you never shout at me like Catelyn again and two, if you hurt her she’ll kick your arse back over that wall Giantsbane.” he said to both of you.

“I never plan on hurting her, Jon. For I love her.”

You smiled at Tormund as you walked over to him grabbing his hand, only letting go to slap him when very happily and smugly states;

“Except for when she has our beautiful, angry babies.”

*time skip of about 5 years*

The battle was won and very few survived, except the ones you loved.

Jon was King, and Dany, revealed by Bran to be your aunt, was Queen.

You had married Tormund a week after the battle, having fought by each other’s side throughout, the both of you never wanted to spend another moment without each other, now five years later, you held your little bundle of joy as you watched your twins, Ned and Lyanna, play with their father in the courtyard.

Their hair and red as his and their eyes as grey as yours.

“Tormund! Your son wants you.” you shouted to your husband as the boy in your arms grumbled, watching as he ran over to take him from you, you wondered how you had gotten so lucky.

But you knew that you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

A/N: I’M BACK OFFICIALLY AND YES IM POSTING THIS AS GoT HAS STARTED 

[obiwns]

my love - jon snow

A/N: asdfghjkl this is my first and i was SUPER nervous to post it, i hope whoever reads this likes it!! feedback will be much appreciated!! <3

⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀

It was no secret the King in the North was in love with you. Seven hells, everyone knew and everyone approved. You were the epitome of kindness, righteousness, and divine beauty. The moment the two of you met, everything clicked. It seemed like the world would go right and everything bad would fade away into nothing. When Jon asked for your hand in marriage and you accepted, it seemed like almost all the residents in the northern region came to celebrate. Even in Cersei’s heart, she found her own way to congratulate the newly weds and send a small gift.

⠀⠀⠀

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, leave you blind

My love, you have found peace

You were searching for relief.

⠀⠀⠀

Your love was simple and sweet, nothing of extravagance, but utterly blissful. Small gestures he would do made your heart flutter. At meetings, you would sit beside him silently and offer him your support. His knee would occasionally bump into yours, but you knew it was far from accidental. Whenever you two were alone together, you would enjoy the silence. Not that you two didn’t have anything to talk about, it was just the simple presence of each other’s company being enough.

⠀⠀⠀

You came thoughtfully

Loved me faithfully

You taught me honor

You did it for me

⠀⠀⠀

As you spent more and more time together, you came to find out that the depths of Jon’s mind was quite intriguing. Alone, he would tell you his adventures beyond the wall and his thoughts on current events. It seemed like he was the only man on this earth was thought of every man, woman, and child as equal beings, whether they came from Westeros or beyond the wall.

⠀⠀⠀

He never looked at another woman the same way he looked at you. His unconditional love was the greatest thing you’ve ever experienced. His choices and his actions were very honorable, he showed that during the meeting between himself, Cersei, and Daenerys. The man couldn’t bring himself to betray Cersei and her conditions, simply turning her offer down entirely. It surprised you, but you understood his choice and you found yourself falling into a deeper pit of love.

⠀⠀⠀

Today, you will sleep away

You will wait for me, my love

Now I am strong

⠀⠀⠀

The news of your impending death after your childbirth shattered his world. He was there beside you the whole way, his eyes brimmed with tears as he stared at you with his eyes full of love and sadness. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you started to fade, breaking down into complete sobs after you stopped responding.

⠀⠀⠀

He couldn’t bring himself to return to the spot of your burial, instead, he focused on his duties and tried his best to cover his emotions. By the new gods and the old, your son was a perfect replica of you and Jon. He had your hair, eyes, and smile. When he got older and he asked about you, Jon would shy away from it and avoid the topic altogether.

⠀⠀⠀

My love, look what you can do

I am mending, I’ll be with you

⠀⠀⠀

Eventually, after Sansa’s convincing words, he finally went to your burial site. He was silent the entire time, laying down a small bundle of your favorite flowers. He let out a long sigh, his mind replaying his fond memories of you. Jon left and began to open up about you to your son, telling him stories about you. Sometimes your son felt like Jon was exaggerating, but he would assure his son that it was all truth and that you were simply a great being.

⠀⠀⠀

“I’ll be with you soon, my love,” he would whisper at your statue, touching the foundation and softly caressing the creases of the stonework. “Soon.”

⠀⠀⠀

You gave me your heart

I asked you to dance with me

⠀⠀⠀

Even after your death, he never forgot your love. Occasionally, he would smile to himself and remember your dainty kisses you would plant on his temple. He would remember the warmth you would radiate as you cuddled underneath the sheets and the small, comforting patterns you would trace into his skin.

⠀⠀⠀

“Your grace,” you said dramatically, curtsying as you came into view of the King in the North. He dipped his head in acknowledgment, a smile lightly ghosting his lips. Booms of laughter radiated from the dining hall, almost drowning out the sound of music playing joyfully.

⠀⠀⠀

“My lady,” he responded sarcastically, a grin beginning to eat at the corners of his lips. For a moment you two stared at each other before bashfully looking away.

⠀⠀⠀

He returned his brown gaze on you once you spoke up, “Care for a dance, your grace?” Jon seemed almost appalled by the idea of dancing, but the excited expression on your face was more than enough for him to say yes.

⠀⠀⠀

I know in peace you’ll go

I hope relief is yours

..

You gave me all you had

And now I am whole

⠀⠀⠀

A sigh escaped Jon as he led your, now older, child to the crypts, reciting the names of the family members as they passed. They came to yours and it was silent. A long pause followed before he let your name roll of his tongue. It was strange, saying your name after so long, but it felt right. He knows you suffered during the process of your death, but he also knows that you are now in a better place than this. He no longer feels like he’s missing a chunk of himself. Instead this time, he believes that you are right there by his side just as you promised.

⠀⠀⠀

[megsironthrone]

My Current WIPS and Unstarted Requests!

Here you are anon! I will update the page as I finish fics and move onto other ones! You can also find a link to the list here

Current WIPS: (These are subject to change based on my inspiration!)

My Ward’s Teacher: Based on this request:  Hey it is great you have opened your requests. Could you please write Jane Eyre AU with Jaime Lannister x reader. If you are not comfortable to write it it is not problem. Btw I think you are really talented and I really appreciate what you do. ❤

Already Married: Based on this request:  Con you do something where Reader is Tyron’s baby step sister who has feeling for Bronn and dislikes Joffrey and after mouthing off to him Joffrey decides that he’s going to marry her off to one of his knights who happens to be very horrible. Not wanting her to marry some jerk Bronn and Tyron decide that Bronn is going to act like he and reader have been married for some time. Resulting in some feelings being shared?

Never Wavered: A Jon Snow x fem!reader request from Wattpad; when the king rides for winterfell in the first season she is going too , at first her siblings ( jamie & tyrion because cersei hates her) have to convince her to come , at the feast she spends a lot of time drinking with tyrion and jon , and being heartbroken when she has to leave for kings landing and jon has to leave for the wall .And all these years later they meet again because she traveled with tyrion to dany … when jon sees her standing ib dany‘s throne room at dragon stone they‘re both speechless & spend the night talking and catching on about everything (jon‘s death for example) and being really cute beacause their love never vanished , even after all they‘ve gone trough .

Current (Unstarted) Requests on the list:

Disguised: Based on this request:  Yara Greyjoy imagine where she finds out one of her trusted soldiers was a woman disguised as a man who had fallen in love with her?

Love and Affection: Based on this request:  Can you do a Sandor clegane x reader established relationship where Sandor gets the love and affection he needs and we all want to give him? Maybe reader is on the affectionate side and Sandor kinda pretends he’s annoyed by it but they both know he likes it ? AND:  Sandor Clegane x reader with mostly just cuddling? Idk if he’d ever let someone get that close to him but I can dream🙆🏼‍♀️ Also emotional comfort

A Thorough Cleaning: Based on this request:  Hi Meg could I please ask for a roommates AU with Sansa in which they are trying to make the house presentable last minute because her family is coming to visit? Thank you from @kjs-s

Different Than You Used to Be: Based on this request:  Yes! Requests are open! Could you write a jaime x reader. The reader is a robbs twin and was married to jaime before the show/books started. She used to hang out with robb, jon and theon a lot, and she wasn’t that much of a lady. Now she returns to winterfell with the king and she is pregnant, so she is less wild then she used to be. The boys think she has changed and thus treat her differently than they used to, so she shows she can still be her old self and jaime is just worried.

Take You As My Wife: Based on this request:  may I please get a Ramsay request where the reader is a stark and they fell in love while he was married to sansa so after sansa leaves he agrees to leave winterfell and go back to the dreadfort if he could have the reader as his wife happy ending please thank you so much for your time i love your blog by the way

A Coronation: Based on this request:  Hi! May i request a royal au for jaime lannister x reader. Tywin has died and now jaime is to be king and the reader queen. Could you write about the coronation and what happens around it. Thanks!

Caught In the Act: Based on this request:  Gendry x stark reader. When they were traveling the kings road in the second season. And arya catches them kissing.

A Ward of Winterfell: Based on this request:  Hello! How are you? would it be alright if i could i get a request for a Baratheon (fem) reader (maybe a legitimized bastard of king Robert’s?) who was sent to be a ward at winterfell to get her away from Cercei and is betrothed to to Robb stark? maybe when the royal family rides for Winterfell she goes back to the capitol with Eddard stark and his daughters and everything starts falling apart? it’s okay if not haha.

From a Lie to the Truth: Based on this request:  do you think you could write a modern/fake dating au where reader agrees to pretend to be samwells SO in front of his friends who he lied to about having a girlfriend but they do end up confessing to each other? thank you so much !!

For You: Based on this request:  I was wondering if you could do a Jaime Lannister x Female Reader imagine based around the song “For You” by Rita Ora ft Liam Payne, if you wouldn’t mind, please and thank you! *If you need to make changes, feel free to do so!* by @thebeckyjolene

Good Cop/Bad Cop: Based on this request:  Can you do a Sandor/reader good cop bad cop kind of story line where they are partners but secretly together? Please and thank you!

Take Her Away: Based on this request:  Hi! Can I have an imagine where Y/N is Joffrey’s twin (and Jaime’s favorite kid) and during the King’s Landing riot she gets separated and gets hurt, and Jaime’s the one that saves her and when he goes back to the castle he lectures Cersei about the safety of their daughter, threatening to take her away to protect her

To Secure Winterfell: Based on this request:  Love your writing, I’m so happy you’re back! ❤️ i was wondering if you could write about Ramsay. How he had to marry y/n to “secure his place” in Winterfell and he actually loves her so he doesn’t hurt her at all, and when Myranda fights with her he gets super protective

Not His Type: Based on this request:  Hi how are ya? Can you please write about Tormund arriving in Winterfell with Jon, and he falls in love with smol Y/N Stark, always making sure she’s protected and loved, even though Jon and Sandor remind him constantly that she’s not his type

Out of Harm’s Way: Based on this request:  Could you please write about Tommen and Y/N (his same agae) getting married, and when she gets pregnant he very gentle and tries to keep her out of harms way, enlisting “uncle” Jaime to guard her when he’s not around

Don’t Blame Yourself: Based on this request:  hey meg 👋🏽 can i have an imagine where y/n tries to safe bran from falling but she gets hurt as well, and a guard rushes to tell robb -he’s her fiancé- and Theon and Jon have to calm him down after he sees her because he’s blaming himself for being there for her to safe her

A Secret Relationship:Based on this request: I have another request about sandor if it’s not much trouble to you. Him and the reader work together and they secretly in a relationship and they act like there’s nothing between them infront of everybody, till Beric accidentally finds out AND: I want to request a really really fluffy fic, about sandor when he comes back from a work trip that lasted for weeks, and be surprised about how much the reader missed him, cuz he is a bit insecure about himself and it’s hard for him to imagine that somebody could love and miss him that much I’ll really appreciate it if you could bring his childhood somehow cuz who doesn’t love a big man with childhood issues??

A Drink & a Kiss: Based on this request:  Hey Meg, happy to read that you’re well! Can I request a Tyrion x reader? Reader is a Stark, Sansa‘s older sister/Robb‘s twin, supposed to marry a Tyrell while he’s supposed to marry Sansa. Over their shared misery of the arranged marriage they end up spending time together. On the night before, they drink together and kiss. Tyrion is surprised she’d rather be with him than a pretty Tyrell and they manage to convince Tywin that they can marry, because it doesn’t matter which Stark he marries.

Smuggled Away: Based on this request:  Hi! The request about a Bratheon!reader got me thinking, what if there’s a similar situation where the reader’s king robert’s daughter or a stark or something like that and the reader ends up getting smuggled away when jamie leaves cersei in kings landing and ends up reuniting with jon snow at some point and she kinda ends up kindling a spark with jon snow and interrupts the whole jon Daenerys thing? i’m not sure if this request makes much sense or if it would be good or not > . <

An Awkward Time: Based on this request:  Hi! This is the oberyn x reader request. Reader is dating oberyn (who is a bit older). One of his daughters is best friends with sansa (reader’s sister) which makes it a bit awkward for everyone (except for oberyn who doesnt find anything awkward).

Secret Wife: Based on this request:  Can you do something with Sandor secretly having a wife. Maybe they met when he was serving king Robert and they met when she was hunting and eloped after a few years. She left before the battle of Blackwater because Sandor didn’t want her getting wrapped up in that so They meet again in Winterfell and no one can actually believe it.

Protected From Joffrey: Based on this request:  Hi Meg! Can you please write about Y/N Lannister (who acts and looks like a princess, just like Myrcella) getting in trouble with Meryn Trant because she scolded Joffrey and after he hits her Bronn finds her and takes care of her, and even Tyrion is happy about it

Their Softer Sides: Based on this request:  Hey @megsironthrone how are you doing? Hope you’re doing fine. Can I request a Tywinxfem!TargaryenxRoose one where the both of them are in a constant banter concerning on who should end up getting the reader’s hand in marriage only to end up making the reader a blushing mess because of the many unusual and surprising compliments Tywin and Roose made over dinner and eventually the green-gold eyed gentleman finally won her over and end up spooning her in his bed showing his soft side. Thank x from @girlonfireice

Disbelief: Based on this request:  May I ask for a reader x Sandor where he and Bronn save her from some not so good people and she and Sandor fall for each other much to Sandor and Bronn’s shock? Happy writing!

An Apology?: A Wattpad request; Hey! I was wondering if you still take requests. If yes could you write a ramsay bolton image for me, where the reader is the younger sister of ramsay and he actually apologizes for killing their dad and after ramsay is killed by sansa his younger sister is the new leader of the boltons.

Jealous of My Own Children!: Another Wattpad request; I would like to know if you would write a Jaime lannister x female reader insert where the reader and jaime are childhood friends who are in love. And the reader supports him even when everyone calls him kingslayer and oath breaker. He and reader have a set of twins a boy and a girl and jaime feels ecstatic that he can play father to the kids however he is also this cute jelous of his kids as they get to spend more time with his wife than him. Basically I just wanted cute fluff. I know the idea isn’t that original but it’s just something that came to my mind so

Direwolf Pup: Based on this request:  Hi! I was wondering if you could write about how Y/N is married to Robb (before the series started) and when the guys returned to Winterfell with the direwolf pups he surprises her in one, the second runt of the litter, because he wanted her protected at all times and as an apology for leaving her clingy ass all day ��❤️

Loyalty: Based on this request: Hi Meg, I‘d like to request a Brienne x northern!reader. They meet when Brienne comes to King‘s Landing, reader is a Lady and an outcast at KL, but her and Brienne start to become close, bonding over their loyalty to the Starks. It gets more intimate, maybe they kiss but Brienne doesn’t want to endanger reader so she distances herself. When Brienne leaves, reader tells her she loves her, but she can’t say it back out of fear. Then later they meet again and she finally tells her?

Godmother: Based on this request:  Sandor asking Arya to be his babies godmother? You can decide how she reacts but I just need some wholesome hound and wolf girl content.  Hi I’m the anon that asked for the Sandor asking wolf girl to be a godmother. I forgot to add trade sorry but I was just imagining it to be after she has her baby so she’s in the room but maybe just asleep or quietly watching cuz she’s tired. Sorry about that

In The North: Based on this request:  Hey! If request are still open, is it possible if you can write Sandor x Reader where they had a relationship before they had to part ways and so they get reunited when reader is sent with Jorah by Daenarys to get a white walker, Beric and Thoros is in disbelief that Sandor can be able of loving someone - thanks!

Winterfell: Based on this request: Can I request a Jon Snow x twinsister!reader?? (If not then just a Jon Snow x reader 😊) Where it’s just been them, then Jon left for the NW and his sister stayed in Winterfell. She has stayed at Winterfell through the Greyjoys and Boltons. And they meet again after Jon and Sansa won back Winterfell. Ramsay kept her separate from Sansa so the couldn’t conspire together. Thank you in advance!

Killing Khaleesi: A Wattpad request; Y/n is Cersei’s oldest daughter who always obeys her orders, but when she’s ordered to kill Khaleesi, she can’t, and starts spending time down there, telling her mom she’s making her wait till she least expects it. And then when Y/n walks down there one night, her mom is there, waiting for her and gives her a choice. Either she kills her, or Cersei does. Of course when y/n goes to kill her, she swings around and slices her mom’s leg making her fall down, and she releases Khaleesi and they ride back to where the dragon mother lives.

Not My Daughter!: A Wattpad request; Hi can I make a request on a Joffrey x Baby Daughter! Reader I know it’s not part of the story but if you can? Joffrey doesn’t care about anything or anyone except his daughter and if anyone hurts her or makes her cry he gets into like mama lion mode

The Announcement: Another Wattpad request; it’s a Modern AU with a targaryen reader and Jaime Lannister Where the reader is Dany’s baby sister and she is married to Jaime Lannister, who Dany, Rhaegar and Viserys (they’re all alive here) hate and their families were once business allies until Tywin (Jaime’s dad) betrayed the Targaryens and merged with the Baratheons instead Fast forward to the present day, Jaime and the reader host a dinner because they have an announcement to make, the targaryens and and Lannisters argue about their relationship in general, Viserys said something snarky to Jaime which made the reader snap at him and tell everyone that they are expecting triplets, Dany, Rhaegar and the Lannisters were all happy except viserys who walked out like a drama queen lol

Beauty: Another Wattpad request; can I have a Tywin Lannister x fem!Targaryen where the reader went in hiding in the woods only to be found by Tywin but he has no idea the reader was a female let alone a Targaryen until he accidentally saw her washing her hair in a near by river and he was immediately stunned by her beauty and then he started to be sweet with her in his own charming debonair way and the asks to marry her. Thank you

[pl-panda]

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 4

MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next

To Marry a Vigilante: Part 4

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The next day, Marinette woke up in her bed, still dressed. By the time her father brought her into her room, she was already asleep. The emotions finally caught up with her somewhere along the way. Remembering the end of the evening, her eyes immediately latched onto her finger, but the ring was not there. A mere second before a panic attack, she looked at the bedside table, where both the box and the ring rested. She let out a breath. She didn’t lose it. 

“Morning cupcake,” a voice startled her. “Are you okay?” Her father was looking through the repealed doors. 

“Yeah… Did yesterday really happen?”

“We are still at Wayne Manor and I seem to remember to have put the ring on the night table.” 

“I can’t believe he actually proposed!” Marinette jumped off the bed and started to pace around with a dreamy look on her face. “I mean I know we are married, but it was still so romantic! And in front of so many people! Oh, Papa! I’m so happy!” She fell back onto her bed. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, cupcake. Remember that your Maman and I will always be here for you.” His smile took a sadder shade. “I know you’re almost a grown-up with a job and all, but to us you will always be the same little girl that I used to fit in the palm of my hand.” 

“Don’t worry Papa. I won’t forget you and Maman.”

“Good. Now let’s go open the presents! Race you!” He ran out of her room and toward the big tree in the hall. Mari giggled at her father’s antics before following him; the ring shining on her finger. 

In the back, Tikki floated with a big smile on her face. Her chosen finally had a chance for some happiness. If only that ruddy alley cat did not run away with the miraculous. She could still feel Nooroo and Duusu active. She could wait one more day before telling Marinette though. The girl deserved a peaceful Christmas.

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By the time Marinette arrived by the tree, most of the people were already gathered. Dick was seated in a large armchair next to a pile of gifts. He was dressed in a full Santa Claus outfit, complete with a fake beard. The only reason she recognized him was because of his voice.

“Now that everyone’s here, who wants…” He started, but someone interrupted. 

“Before that, I need to apologize.” Johnathan Kent turned toward Marinette. “Yesterday, after you left, I made some unsavory accusations about you, for which I want to deeply apologize.” Just for a second, his eyes jumped toward Sabine. The girl noted that her mother was glaring at the older man. “I’m a simple man and this… secret world you all live in is strange for me. Please, accept my sincere apology.” 

“Oh… No problem Mr. Kent. To be honest I’m still getting used to it all myself.” She smiled at him. Marinette was not that oblivious not to guess what kind of accusations the older man had made. 

“With that out of the way, I think we can get started. Maybe let’s begin with the youngest?” Dick said, trying to imitate how the real Santa Claus would sound. Marinette would admit that he was close.

“Me! Me!” Mar’i started floating in the air until Jon pulled her gently to the ground. He really got into the ‘older brother’ role. 

“Yes, you, sweetheart.” 

Mar’i received several gifts from the pile. Marinette was surprised to see one from her family. Inside were several baked goods from their bakery. She didn’t remember her parents packing any, but maybe they made them here.

“Me next!” Jon was giddy. His pile of gifts was slightly smaller, but there was a box of sweets there too. 

After that, it was Marinette’s turn. She received probably even more than Mar’i. There were also gifts from her Nona, grandfather, uncle Wang, one without a name tag that she was pretty sure came from aunt Sandra, a giant box from Chloe, and a small one that she had no idea who sent her. It was wrapped with a paper with black cats that would look better somewhere around Halloween, but she was too distracted to question it. Damian was busy arguing with Jon about whether he would get the Kryptonite knuckle dusters or not. 

She started with the largest box that Chloé sent her. Inside, there was a giant chest filled to the brim with detective novels and a letter that she chose to read when she was alone. Next was the gift from her uncle, which turned out to be an intricately decorated stone bowl for mixing ingredients. 

Her grandfather got her a beautiful rolling pin made half from cherry wood and half from solidified resin. The resin was in dark green color that reminded her of Damian’s eyes. But Roland had no idea about that, did he…?

Many gifts were some nice fabrics, a gift card to Gabriel, which she was tempted to burn as soon as she got it, but out of politeness just put it back into the box for now. Finally, the gift from aunt Sandra contained a set of beautiful daggers, a Katana, and a hairpin that had a space to pour poison inside. 

Her parents gave her a new rope dart, this time with a sharp end that she could use in combat. The line it was attached to was made from titanium-carbon alloy that would be able to withstand point-pressure of at least two tonnes. The weapon itself was practical instead of good-looking. The blade was thick, looking a bit like a diamond. The edges were sharp and the tip very pointy. The grip of the weapon was wrapped in a red cord for a more comfortable grip. Mari thanked them both before pocketing the weapon into her bag for now. She would probably fashion a better place for it.

Finally, only one box remained. The mysterious cats. Mari was about to open it when Jon noted it and leaped at her. The bow came undone the moment he covered the small box with his body. Everyone waited, watching carefully what was going on.

Nothing happened.

“Tt. Kent? Mind explaining to us why you decided to smash my Angel’s gift?” Damian glared at him.

“Um… I might have accidentally scanned it. You don’t want to see what’s inside. I definitely don’t want to see what’s inside ever again,” he shuddered. 

“Show me,” Sabine demanded. She picked up the squashed box and opened the top before closing it. A small lighter made its way into her hand and before anyone knew better, it was aflame. Seeing people staring at her, she smiled. “Nothing to worry about. It was a terrible prank.” She wrapped the now-charred remains and some vaguely straight shape into the torn paper. 

“What was this Maman?”

“A very distasteful prank.”

Marinette looked at the shape in her mother’s hand and her blood suddenly ran cold. It was shaped like a knife. The knife.

“No… He knows?! He can’t know!” She panicked, but Damian quickly pulled her closer to him, immediately soothing her some. 

“No, Sweetie. That bastard thought he would appease you by offering a painting of a stabbed Ladybug.” Sabine’s expression was heralding God’s wrath.

Jason growled. “He is sick.”

Next to him, Tim muttered so that only Stephanie could hear him. “You gave B. a crowbar on your first Christmas back…” Superman heard it too, judging from his reaction. 

“So what now?”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say we won’t be coming back beyond ‘appearing’ at the airport when your class is scheduled to leave. I still can’t believe how incompetent your teacher must be to force you to travel with them.”

“I know it might sound stupid, but I think you will be safest in Gotham City.” Lois offered. 

Mari nodded sharply before cuddling into Damian. “Don’t worry, Angel. I will protect you.” He reassured her while hugging her close to his heart.

“I can protect myself.” She huffed but didn’t reject his hug. 

“That I don’t doubt.”

“There is a good chance he won’t be able to reach you in Gotham anyway. He is just one kid, which will make crossing the border much harder for him.” Stephanie pointed. 

“He has his daddy’s money. That will probably be enough.”

“Let’s hope not. I will send the warning to the border control that he might be trying to enter the country, but that’s the best I can do.” 

“Meanwhile I will go check if my guns are working…” Jason tried to leave, only for Tim to grab the back of his jacket and pull him back into place.

“There is no point worrying for now. Let’s just enjoy Christmas.” Sabine nodded for everyone to return to gifts. When no one was looking at her, she pulled Jon to the side and placed the knife paper on the stone floor. They didn’t speak, not to start another drama, but the boy understood. A short heat-vision later the knife was no more than a piece of smoking paper and molten steel.

--------------

A blonde boy walked toward the terminal. He was dressed in a light gray long-sleeved dress shirt underneath a dark gray vest. He also sported a black necktie, dark gray dress pants, and black dress shoes. His hair was combed back, adding to the impeccable look. The green eyes swept over the guards as they observed him closely. He presented the passport.

He noted that it took them longer than it should. His eyes fell on the wanted poster next to the guards. 

“I’m not my idiotic cousin if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Ah… Um…” The guard that was speaking to him was clearly confused. 

“Really? Ugh! That idiot decided to play supervillain and suddenly I have to suffer for it! I am not Adrien Agreste.” He ruffled through his bag, not caring that several guards almost drew their weapons. He finally pulled out a magazine with him and Adrien standing side by side, modeling for Gabriel. When side by side, the difference in their styles was even more pronounced.

“Apologies, mister. You must understand thought…” The man started to back-track.

“Yeah yeah. Spare the prostrating.” He dismissed the guard and walked past the checkpoint. Once he was out of the hearing range, he grinned. “It’s not you that I want to see on the floor…” He whispered omniously. 

-----------

Marinette and Sabine arrived through a portal five minutes from the airport, with ten minutes to spare before class was scheduled to meet. The two did not carry any luggage so they would get past the customs much faster. An upside to having all your things brought through a magical portal the day before. 

The airport was buzzing with activity. Marinette and her mother quickly got past the checkpoint and met with Chloé, who awaited them eagerly. 

“Dupain-Cheng! How was Christmas with the Waynes?” She asked in a hushed voice, so the class didn’t hear her. 

“Well…” Mari grinned before showing the blonde her ring.

“What? Now that’s what I call a good Christmas gift.” 

“How did you like the belt?” Marinette asked. In response, Chloé showed her that she was already wearing it. It was white with some golden glitter around the elegant buckle. There was a barely visible MDC logo etched on the buckle. The designer worked on it for some time before repurposing it as a Christmas gift. She had to cut on the glitter decorations, but in the end, the more minimalistic design appealed to Chloé. 

Sabine watched the two girls talk. A year ago, the woman wouldn’t believe her eyes if Marinette and Chloé acted this friendly. Now though, they were cute. 

“Did you get my gift?” The blonde asked impatiently.

“Um… Yes. The books are great.” 

“What was under the books!” The girl whispered, hoping to avoid Sabine’s watchful eye and ear.

“What?” Marinette looked surprised and Chloé had to resist the urge to facepalm. 

“Honestly Dupain-Cheng! You’re ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!”

And then the mood was broken when the rest of the class found them. 

“Good morning Marinette.” Madame Bustier greeted the girl. “Sabine.” 

The older woman did not return the greeting. “It’s Madame Cheng. We are here in the role of chaperones.” She almost seethes. “Let’s keep at least the illusion of professionalism.”

“Um… right. Moving on kids!” The slightly embarrassed teacher declared. 

“She is just as bad as Maribrat,” Alya muttered to Lila when she thought Sabine couldn’t hear her. The glare she received in response made it clear she made a mistake in her judgment.

After they got to the plane, people started to whisper when Chloé and Marinette didn’t join them in the economy class where they had their tickets. Instead, the two left for the first class. 

“Why aren’t they joining us!?”

“Because Chloé’s father paid for hers and I can afford mine.” Marinette normally would be against such blatant flaunting of wealth, but she couldn’t stop herself from rubbing it a bit into them that she earned the luxury. 

“She probably…” Kim suddenly lost his ability to speak when he was met eye-to-eye with Sabine Cheng. 

“Think carefully about what you want to say next.” 

He could almost see the flames of hell burning brightly behind her. “Um… she probably earned it?”

“Good boy.” 

“While I agree that Marinette earned it,” Caline started speaking and Sabine, Chloé, and the girl in question all had to resist the urge to groan, sensing there was more to that sentence. “I think it would be preferable if the girls joined the class for the duration of the flight. It would serve to strengthen the bonds between kids.” 

“And how exactly do you plan on fitting them when all the places in this place are bought out. Not to mention the price difference. Or maybe you thought money was not a problem?” Sabine asked, her voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Before Caline could answer, Lila decided to open her mouth. “Maybe Madame Bustier and you, madame could switch places with them. We know how hard our teacher worked and a bit of relaxation and comfort would do her good. You too could probably relax a bit from all the hard work in that Bakery.” 

Immediately after that, everyone started to agree and try to convince the chaperones to leave them alone. Sabine was about to protest when Caline spoke up. “Well, I think it would be acceptable, provided the girls agree.” She sent both a glare. 

Sabine’s blood boiled. She wasn’t sure if any normal girl would actually have the strength to stand up to a teacher in that position. Only the fact that Marinette looked completely unbothered stopped her from reacting. 

“Of course they won’t agree! They are too selfish!” Alya shouted. 

Some of the people on the plane started to stare at the group, with many gazes falling on Marinette and Chloé. 

The blonde scoffed, but her best friend grinned. “Sure.” She pulled her ticket and handed her to the teacher. “But we’re blocking the flight, so let’s move.”

Chloé handed hers to Sabine, smiling politely at the woman. “Marinette suspected this would end like that.” She whispered before taking a seat next to Dupain-Cheng. Both girls pulled out old-fashioned dictaphones and started recording what was going on with the class. Then Chloé gave Mari one of her detective novels and they started reading. 

Sabine shook her head. Her little girl had a plan and she would trust her. And after seeing Lila in action, she now had some idea how that liar worked. The way she manipulated people’s opinion reminded her in some ways of the assassin training she underwent. 

-----

The plane was already half-way to Gotham. Sabine did her best to ignore Caliné’s rambling about Marinette, switching between praising her and making her into the heart of all the problems with the class. If she didn’t know better, Sabine would think that the teacher had some sort of mental disorder. Beyond simple stupidity that is. 

Out of the blue, Caliné stopped rambling and Sabine saw her asleep, snoring lightly. 

“A strong sedative. It should give us at least an hour of peace.” A calm voice spoke from behind her. 

“Sandra.” Sabine greeted her sister politely, but without the usual cheerfulness. “Clever of you to choose here of all places to meet me. Don’t think that it will let you escape my wrath. You left that girl on the mercy of a monster.” 

“Cassandra was… I did regret what I did, but I couldn’t risk trying to reclaim her. Not until I was sure she could defend herself.” Sandra said, allowing emotions to enter her voice. Sabine could tell she was genuinely saddened by the situation. 

“You could’ve brought her to me. I would raise her along Marinette without a second thought. And you know that nobody would dare to come after me.” The older turned in her seat to glare at her sister. Two men at her side were both also sleeping, each with a small wound on their neck. They had complete privacy. 

“I… I’m sorry. By the time I managed to find her again, I… I was ashamed. I admit that it pained me to see what Cain did to her. But I couldn’t…”

“We will talk about it when I can scream at you properly.” Sabine cut her off. “For now I want to know what is so important you decided to show up personally, risking my wrath.”

“The boy has allies.” 

“Who?”

“I don’t know, but they are influential enough to shield him from many of my contacts.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you tried. As opposed to with your daughter.”

“I deserve it…” Sandra lowered her head. 

“Yes, you do.” Sabine huffed. 

“If I find the kid…” 

“He sent Mari the knife he stabbed Ladybug with. I have no idea how he got his sticky hands on it…” 

“You still have the bag, right?”

“Already waiting for me in Gotham.”

“I will try digging some more, but I’m getting blocked at each turn.”

“Meanwhile I will keep both our girls safe.”

“I got the picture of Talia by the way.” Lady Shiva allowed a smile to ghost her face. “I carry it framed and put it by my bed. She got a few copies too.” 

“Good. That might remind her not to trifle with us.” The sisters shared a laugh, but Sabine was still angry and it showed. She would give her sister a piece of her mind when the time came. 

-----------

A figure stood cloaked in shadows. The small screen showed a series of images. 

“Poison Ivy; Bane; Penguin; Riddler; Mr. Freeze; Two-Face; Scarecrow; Clayface; Falcone; Harley Quinn; Killer Croc; Joker…” 

“The previous Hawkmoth was a fool.” Another figure spoke from the shadows. Their voice was neither feminine nor masculine. “He stuck to a moral high ground, giving powers to untrained kids. Then again, he was fighting kids.” 

A small, butterfly-like creature floated in the air. “But that is precisely what the Butterfly Miraculous is supposed to do! Its powers will work best with the common people.” 

“Interesting.” The main figure grinned. “So my father wasn’t such a fool after all.” He laughed when another image appeared on the screen. “And I see that my trap is already working.”

Duusuu had to hide from fear. This was not the kind boy they knew. What could’ve happened to Chat Noir, the great kind Chat Noir that made him into… this.

-------

Masterlist // Next

[sleepyfan-blog]

@drenched-in-sunlight I hope that you enjoy the ficlet!

Based off of these pictures

fandom: DC universe

warnings: Justice Lords AU

word count: 2,387

summary: Kon is less than enthused when their father has them go for a photoshoot, but as his father’s empire does require positive press from time to time, he and most of his brothers attend. Something about this photoshoot bothers him - or rather, he hears a disconcertingly familiar sound.

Kon still wasn’t convinced that this was entirely necessary, or even a reasonable thing to do, but for some reason, father seemed to think that it was a good idea for all of them to be photographed together. Lord Superman’s children… And Christopher, who was technically a vassal of Lord Kal-El in order to be close to Jon, and to protect him from anyone who would do his youngest brother harm, in addition to cherishing and loving him deeply. But to the rest of the world, Chris was part of Lord Superman’s family, and that was that. His mood wasn’t improved much by the fact that he thought he heard something… Something familiar but possibly dangerous.

The photographer in front of them fluttered anxiously as they positioned the camera. The five of them were arranged around the bright red couch that the photography studio had decided would be the best for them to be around – likely as the color of the couch cushions matched the red that each of them was wearing. Jon, Lainey and himself were wearing the symbol of their Kryptonian House. Chris wasn’t wearing the symbol as he wasn’t a full member of House El, and would only become one if Jon and he married when the youngest of the six of them was old enough to do so and wished to.

Hunter was wearing his mother’s symbol as a clasp on his cape, rather than wearing the symbol of house El on his chest – a choice that was very deliberate, as it was a subtle show that though some may believe that Lady Wonder Woman and their father didn’t get along, that was far from the truth, and that Hunter was the proof that the two of them did care for one another. Wonder Woman had wanted a child, and had trusted Clark enough to help her with that. Match wasn’t on Earth at the moment – as Kon’s older twin brother was helping the Martians deal with the after-effects of some of the Lantern Core trying to take over Mars, in order to have a better chance to attack Earth, as they disapproved of the way things were being run, and therefore were trying to impose their own will on Earth – and Mars as well.

Jon had stretched out on the couch – something that none of his older brothers were the least bit surprised of, and though the photography studio that the five of them were in was supposedly safe, none of the Kent siblings liked being in this room. Hunter was standing at one end of the couch, his eyes closed and standing in what seemed to be a calm, and confident pose – but Kon knew better. His younger brother was listening to the sounds of the people in the studio – and in the floors above and below them for any hint of trouble. Lainey was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, looking out the window, rather than directly at the camera or their photographer.

None of them were looking at the photographer, as when one of them did, it increased the anxious agitation that the human flitting about them had. Kon and Chris were also looking out of the same window, and all of their senses were keyed up for the slightest hint of trouble. Chris would grab Jon and fly off to safety, while Hunter, Jon and Lainey dealt with whatever possible issue was at hand. There were rebels who opposed their father, although why, Kon couldn’t really imagine. Things were so much more peaceful now, and isn’t that what the humans wanted? The price didn’t seem that intolerable to the young man. Given that when the humans were allowed to do as they pleased, crime and corruption were rampant and he and his older twin had been created as weapons to be used against Father specifically…

A silent sigh left him as he leaned against one edge of the couch. One of the reasons why father had told them to do this, was that afterwards, each of them would be interviewed, and he would accidentally let slip that he might be in love with someone. The resulting buzz would create positive interest – and when he and Tim would go out on a date together, they would just so happen to be holding hands and talking with one another close to where several reporters would be. The revelation of their dating wasn’t one that Kon was entirely comfortable with, but humans did so love their distractions, and a young romance between two powerful young Justice Lords would be just the thing... Lord Batman also felt positively about this idea, and though neither Tim or himself were thrilled by this idea, they did want to help improve the image of the Justice Lords, so they had agreed.

And if Kon was honest with himself, he was kind of tired of having to try to plan dates with Tim that had them hiding from everyone and everything… Though he wasn’t sure if he was going to hate the public eye on this very private part of his life… One of the few bits of his life that was truly private parts of his life. As one of the oldest children of Lord Superman reporters and the like tended to try to focus on him to try to get his opinion on whatever topic of the day was.

The photographer cleared their voice a little, and said, somewhat nervously “The cameras are in position, and I’m about to take your pictures. A group shot and then a couple of pictures where two of you are in the frame.”

All five of them nodded, still not directly looking at the camera, and only Lainey was smirking a little as their picture was taken, none of them having the slightest desire to even smile, as all of them were still focused on the potential threats that could surround them. There were few things that could affect any of them – but there had been rumors that some of the Resistance might have gotten some Kryptonite. Kon supposed at least one of them should speak, as the human photographer was getting increasingly stressed, and he said “Very well. Is there anything else you require of us?”

“U-Uhm….” The photographer responded. For a moment he was fairly certain that they might ask them to smile “No, thank you.  Your father will be coming soon to take pictures with each of you shortly.”

Jon – who had been eating the lollipop that Chris had given him earlier perked up, a bright grin appearing on his face as he chirped happily “That’s great! Father is always so busy…”

Chris hugged Jon before their youngest brother could say anything that could be taken the wrong way “Hey, I know that he’s quite busy, but you have all of us to keep you company as well.”

“When you’re not on missions, you mean.” Jon sulked, pouting adorably up at Chris, as he cuddled into  his beloved happily. “All of you are so busy as well. And Lord Red Robin is determined to steal Kon from me!”

Kon sighed, shaking his head as he came over to where Jon was sitting, kneeling down and gently reaching out to pet his little brother’s hair “He isn’t stealing me from you, I promise. We… We’re very good friends, but you have had a place in my heart since you were born, firebird. I love you and I always will, I promise.”

Jon brightened up considerably at that, hugging his second oldest brother tightly “I’m so glad to hear that! Do you know when Match is coming home?”

Kon shook his head a little “No, he’s still helping the Martians recover from the lantern corps’ latest unprovoked attack, and father’s probably going to head over there with Lord Manhunter and a few of the other Justice Lords in order to help them shore up their defenses better.” All of these things were on the list of things that they had been allowed to talk about by their father – and Kon suspected that they were supposed to speak of such things, as the photographer – or the reporter next to them – would hear and write about that information.

“Erm… Who may I ask is Match?” The reporter asked curiously, having made her existence verbally known for the first time.

Kon held closer to Jon, his eyes widening ever so briefly in recognition. How in the hell had she gotten past security to be the one to speak with them? Jon didn’t seem to recognize her, which was a good thing. He glanced at Chris and the others – but none of them seemed to recognize her. Then again, she had dyed her hair and was wearing colored contacts. But Kon couldn’t mistake the distinctive sound of her heartbeat. “My older twin brother, who as previously mentioned is off-world, and has been for months.” But you already know that, Lois Lane. Was something that Kon very much wanted to say, but it would throw his younger brothers into a chaotic mess, so he stayed quiet.

She interviewed each of his brothers in turn, ignoring his presence entirely it seemed, and after she finished, she cleared her throat a little as she moved closer to the five of them, her eyes focused entirely on Jon. Hunter and Chris jerked a little in surprised recognition as she moved closer, and Kon let go as Chris left the room as fast as his feet could carry him, Jon in hand. Hunter was blocking the door and Lainey stood up at the same time Kon did, provoked into action by the responses of his older brothers, still confused as he was the only one of them to have not met her, before she’d broken their father’s heart and left – having hidden Jon’s birth from him for months.

“I… Just… Just what is going on here?” The photographer stuttered, flustered and confused.

“I certainly hope that you are truly innocent in this, otherwise the punishment for your duplicity will be severe. She is not allowed anywhere near Jon, as there is a restraining order against her. She had tried to turn Jon against father more than once, for stupid reasons and would have him be used as a weapon against him, and us, his older brothers.” Kon growled, eyes flashing a warning red.

“But…but who… Why… What?” The photographer stuttered, sounding horrified and confused “I… I knew nothing of this. Who… Who do  you believe she is?”

“Father’s ex-wife, Lois Lane. I know it’s her, as though her appearance has been altered, I recognize the sound of her heartbeat. What, were you planning on trying to get Jon by himself to try to whisper poisonous lies in his mind again?” Kon growled, stepping into her personal space and looming over her.

Lois’ face hardened a little, before she sighed, reaching out to him a little “It’s nothing like that… Jon should be able to live a better life than the one he’s leading now. I know… I know your upbringing has been rough, and since you were…” She paused for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to try to manipulate him “… Born, you were conditioned to think and believe yourself to be a weapon, to be used against your enemies… and when… When he found you, he simply ensured that your loyalty was to him rather than to those who had first trained you. But you are more than the weapon he says you are. You are a full person, Conner. You as well, Lainey, Hunter. Surely you must know that this dictatorial regime of his, is oppressive and wrong, don’t you?”

“Father and the other justice lords have brought peace and prosperity to earth and humanity. How is this wrong?” Kon countered.

“You’re going to be arrested for trying to approach Jon.” Hunter reminded her.

“I can already hear the sirens – Chris probably informed them as soon as he got twinnie out of the building and away from you.” Lainey snarled, eyes turning red as he realized just who this was. She’d played havoc with poor Jon’s heart in addition to their father’s and he was glad that Chris’d gotten him away from her, though he usually hated the fact that Chris had such a large claim over his little brother’s heart.

“I hadn’t known that the people I would be interviewing would you five. They just told me that I would be interviewing several high profile young men, and to be careful while doing so.” Lane responded, trying to plead innocence.

Kon wasn’t having any of that, however. “You shouldn’t lie to someone who can hear it when your heart speeds up at the lie, who can see and already knows the tiny little physical tells that you show off, that can be read by those who have training in such things. Miss Lane, you are under arrest for knowingly breaking the terms of the restraining order. You will be brought before a judged and sentenced fairly based on the severity of your crimes.”

She continued to stutter out useless lies and pitiful excuses as he marched her down the stairs to where the police were waiting for her. Kon told them her crimes in an emotionless monotone, internally struggling with how he felt about seeing her again. He should feel angry and betrayed by her very presence but… Memories of talking and confiding in her, before she’d divorced father, and the heart to hearts that he hadn’t been able to have with him were… Conflicting. She was gone before he could think of doing anything foolish.

Hunter lightly tapped him on one shoulder, staring at him for several long moments before saying “Father is at the studio – and Chris is back with Jon. He says that we should finish the phootshoot, as there is no reason to cause much of a fuss over her.”

Kon nodded, his face an impassive mask, hopefully hiding the tumultuous emotions that were running through him at the moment. “Of course.” He followed his younger brother back to where father was currently sitting, holding a beaming Jon, with Chris off to the side, leaning against the wall with fake nonchalance.

[junker-town]

The pets of Secret Base

They’re good boys and girls

Hello everyone. Ok, that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the pet photos.

Jordan

Jordan is nearing his 14th birthday and still loves running laps around the house. He’s appointed himself sheriff of our household, and he demands order. If I’m at my desk at 2 p.m., that’s fine with him, but if I’m sitting there at 9 p.m., he squints at me and grumbles in a way that unmistakably comes across as muttering. Living with him is like living with an eccentric, weird, very short man. Every couple of months, he’ll start doing a new thing. The above photo, from earlier this week, documents his latest thing: if you cover him in a blanket, he’ll get up and walk around the house without bothering to shake it off, dragging his cloak from room to room like a sorcerer who accidentally transformed himself into a dog.

-Jon

Alfie

This is the light of my life Alfie out on a hike. Isn’t he something? I’ve had him for 11 years and I still haven’t gotten over it. Here’s a little about him:

Hobbies:

Frisbee Fetch

Madly barking at big dogs who think they’re so tough

Sitting in the sun

Likes:

Clara

a treat horrifically named “gullet strips”

whatever you are eating

Dislikes:

all bodies of water

haircuts

when Clara hugs too tightly

-Clara

Bumper

Say hello to Bumper. Now say he’s a good boy. This reformed street urchin made his name in the alleys of Coney Island. He learned how to show affection by watching the bumper cars greet each other. He’s rad. Bumper’s got a little cauliflower ear where he took a swipe, he’s on the smaller size, and he voted Kucinich in 2004.

Side note: Bumper’s got FIV, a fairly common virus among cats, which isn’t a big deal other than it often causes people to not adopt them. Day to day, they’re just like any other cat. Take them to the vet once a year, make sure they’re good, give them love, repeat.

-Will

Chauncey

This is Chauncey, who came into my life about a year and a half ago by way of my girlfriend, Lilith. The thing about Chauncey is that he is a shameless little freak for my sweat. Can’t get enough of the stuff. He likes my shoes in particular because his is a nasty kinkster for foot scent. I’m fortunate that my feet don’t have much in the way of offensive odor, but there’s something in there he really digs. Here he is pictured with his head fully buried in my running sneaker. He’d sleep like that if you let him. He also goes nuts for the pits of my recently worn t-shirts. He doesn’t do this with any of Lilith’s shoes or clothes; his fetish is for my pheromones and mine alone. In fact, when it comes to me, he could take me or leave me; he’d bite me as soon as cuddle up. But he’s a good boy and we like having him around.

-Ryan

Chicken (B) & Antigone (T)

Once upon a time in Paris, a prize-winning cocker spaniel had an illicit encounter with a beagle. Chicken was the unwanted result, and was sold out of the back of a car to a roommate who subsequently moved to Belgium and left Chicken behind. This dog has moved country three times, crossing the Atlantic twice. I don’t think she noticed any of them, because she is almost entirely indifferent to anything that isn’t Chicken. Yes, she’s very cute. She’s also lazy, selfish, vain and would gladly trade me and everyone she’s ever met for half a treat: basically a cat who happens to be shaped like a stumpy little dog.

Antigone, meanwhile, was adopted from a shelter and apparently had a hard time of things prior to arriving home. For instance, she didn’t seem to know what dog food was when we got her, and she was and remains terrified of everyone and everything. She’s also a huge sweetheart, and when you pet her she makes whale sounds. Nobody believes me when I say this, so I’ll confirm: when you pet her, Tiggy makes sounds like a humpback whale singing. It is bizarre and wonderful and sometimes unsettling.

MWRRRRAAAWWWWOOOMMMMWRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOO

-Graham

Elfie

Hi, this is my cat Elfie. Or more accurately, I should say it’s my girlfriend’s cat and my current roommate, Elfie. He is a one-year-old seal bicolor ragdoll boy who loves to eat (sometimes steal treats from closets), sleep and do destruction when we are not around. He is currently on a diet to trim down in weight because of my previous indulgence in feeding him. Thus, he’s been a little grumpy lately. But I think he is doing a fantastic job. You can find him normally in his natural habitat, our sink, shoe shelves or occupying my chair. Speaking of him, I actually feel extremely blessed because around the time that I’ve met my girlfriend and welcomed Elfie into my life, I was dying to have a cat, and coincidentally enough ragdolls are the breed I was yearning for the most. Now I get to enjoy his company and random mischievousness everyday.

-Jiazhen

Trudy

Trudy is my dog. She’s a good dog.

-Seth

If you want to introduce us to your critters, we would welcome the opportunity to see/read about them.