#i can't even BEGIN to tell you what they've done to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suuuupernovaaa · 1 year

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kxuke

kxuke [ˈk’u.kɛ] adj. safe

Anonymous Request: What about Avatar reader x Neteyam with the "I won't say I'm in love" trope. The reader was part of Quaritch's team, but she got captured by the Sullys. She was under Neteyam's supervision, and they both fell in love slowly. However, they don't want to admit their feelings. Reader ends up betraying Quaritch's and fighting alongside the Sullys.

This would probably do better as a multi-chaptered story, so you may see it expanded as such in the future.

5.3k words

For two months, they've carried me from place to place, kept me in the dark, barely spoken to me. When I wake up, I'm back on base, but I have no information to give my team.

I can't see outside. I can't hear anything but what sounds like leaves blowing in the wind and birds chirping, even though I know it's not what I'd think of as birds.

Every morning, it's the same thing. The oldest Sully brings me something to eat, asks me if I have anything to tell him, and I say no. I ask if he has anything to tell me, and he says no.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'm tired, I'm sore, and I smell terrible. I'm under 24/7 surveillance by one of the Sullys, and I'm pretty sure that soon, they're going to give up and kill me. After all, I'm the enemy, part of Quartich's elite squad, and there's nothing I have to offer them.

I know what they know: Quartich is hunting the Sullys, and he won't stop until he kills them all, even the children.

The solitude is wearing me down, and my team is growing tired of my uselessness. I don't know why they keep putting me back under every morning - but they do, hoping I'll have something useful for them. I never do.

It's another morning - can't say whether it's sunny, or cloudy, or rainy - and Neteyam arrives as he always does, but he's a little early, and I'm ashamed that he finds me crying.

I begged my team not to put me back here, not to let me spend another day in dark isolation, but they don't want the avatar - a hefty investment - to go to waste. If she doesn't wake up, the Sullys will definitely kill her.

Neteyam clears his throat, and sets the usual meal of fruit and bread in front of me.

"Thanks," I say.

He nods. He doesn't ask if I have anything to tell him, so I don't either. Then, he leaves. Wonderful. The only social interaction I ever get, and it's gone.

I spend the day as I always do - pacing, doing jumping jacks, stretches, and staring at the dark ceiling, wondering who's standing just outside, keeping watch.

As the sun begins to go down, I feel relief. Soon, I can close my eyes, fall asleep, and return to freedom. Though, it's starting to feel less like freedom.

I took this job because I didn't have anything else in my life, and I've always been a good soldier - but it's not like I really believe in Quartich. Sometimes, I've wondered if what we're doing here is even right.

Is the human race so important that we need to displace these people to continue? What good have we done, that we deserve that?

Unexpectedly, the flap to the tent, or pod, I'm in, opens up, and Neteyam steps through.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, standing up.

He holds a thick cloth out to me. "Over your eyes," he says.

My heart rate quickens. This is it. They're finally going to kill my avatar. I've heard it's unpleasant, dying in your avatar, and it isn't like you get to go back to your human body after. It's the end for both of you.

I have to admit, I'm also a little relieved as I take the cloth from him. The last two months have been exhausting, and psychologically damaging, and made me question every single choice I've made in my life.

I can't keep doing this, and I can't escape... so maybe death is the only way out.

After I tie the cloth securely over my eyes, Neteyam checks thoroughly.

"I can't see," I say, as if he would trust me.

He grabs my arm, and pulls. "Come."

This is it.

My feet touch sand, and then water, and I want to scream with joy. It's dark out, not that I could see anything anyway, and quiet. I don't hear anyone else around us.

"Water," I whisper. Neteyam keeps pulling me. Is he going to drown me in it? Could he maybe just let me... clean up a little, before he kills me? I don't want to die this dirty.

Neteyam grabs my hand, and places something in it. A small, wet sack.

"To clean," he says, and I hear a pistol cock. "Don't go far, and don't make noise."

Holy shit, he is going to let me clean up. Sure, he's going to hold a gun and watch me wash my naked body, but I'll take it. Without any hesitation or shame, I pull off the dirty tank top and shorts I've been wearing, and go deeper into the water. I scrub every inch of myself, even under the mask, and scrub my hair until my scalp burns. This is definitely an ocean, the salty water burns my eyes and my dry lips, but I don't care at all. It still feels so amazing.

"Oh, my god," I moan when I come up for air. "Thank you."

Neteyam says nothing, just grunts, and grabs my arm. "Come, we must go back."

I'm definitely naked, but Neteyam pulls me away anyway and honestly, the thought of putting those disgusting clothes back on makes me want to die, so I leave them in the ocean. I would rather be naked and clean.

Neteyam takes me back to my prison, and pulls the cloth from my eyes.

We stare at each other for a long moment. "Why?" I ask.

He shrugs, turns, and leaves. I see laying on the floor, some clothes - if you can call them that. The top is essentially a tube top, easy enough to put on, but the bottoms take me a little while longer to figure out, especially with the tail. But they're clean, and so am I, and I cry again.

That isn't the last kindness that Neteyam does for me. Late at night, when everyone else is asleep, he often returns, bringing me new clothes, food, even letting me wash once in a while.

After a couple weeks of this, I work up the courage to ask him why.

"You haven't told them where we are, or they would have come. And they keep sending you back. You must be... lonely."

I bite my lip. "I can't tell them. I don't know. They keep sending me back because, because I don't know, and they say, if I don't wake up here, you'll kill... her." I gesture to my avatar body, who is me, but not me. "Why haven't you killed me?"

"Mom and dad can't agree," Neteyam shrugs. "What's your name?"

It takes me aback that I've never told him that, and that he's never asked before. "Y/N," I reply.

"Why do you do what you... do? Why follow him?"

I look down. "Earth is bad, Neteyam. You have parents who care about you, right?"

He nods.

I shrug. "I never had that. I never had anyone. I just had the marines. And I was good at it, so they sent me here. I just... didn't have anywhere else to go."

Without another word, Neteyam leaves again.

I haven't told my team about any of this. I don't think I'm going to.

Neteyam keeps asking me questions, every day, about my home on earth, what happened to my family, what being a marine is like... and I ask him questions, too, about growing up on Pandora, about his family, but I'm careful not to ask anything about where we are. All I know is, we're by the ocean. That wouldn't be very helpful information, anyway.

I look forward to seeing Neteyam every day, more than I've ever looked forward to anything in my life. Just sitting and talking with him brings me more happiness than anything else I can remember, and it's equal parts upsetting and confusing.

I'm not sure where I stand, or where we go from here. I'm just a Sky Person, and an evil one... I couldn't possibly be someone Neteyam would want to be friends with, and I definitely couldn't earn the trust of his family, so what will become of me?

Will they still kill me?

Eventually, Neteyam isn't alone when he comes one afternoon. I expected this eventually, but I didn't expect it would be Neytiri, his mother.

It's our first time coming face to face, and in the dim light of my prison, she's terrifying - her wide, glowing eyes, staring down at me; she looks like an angel of death, beautiful and terrifying.

I want to shrink, and avoid eye contact, but my training won't allow it. I stand, shoulders back, returning her gaze.

"Almost four months, we've kept you alive," she says, standing tall and strong before me. "And now I know my idiot son has let you out. You could have told them where we are. Why haven't you?"

"I wear a blindfold," I reply, and glance over her shoulder at Neteyam. The air is tense, and he stares at his mother nervously.

"Bah, I'm not stupid. Tell me why you haven't told them."

She's right. What I've felt and heard outside these walls, it could give my team vital information - but I haven't even let them know I've set foot outside.

I glance at Neteyam again, and this time, she follows my gaze.

"It's my son. You care for him?" She wrinkles her nose, disgusted at the thought.

"No, I - I just... don't want to help them, I guess."

She looks me, head to toe, one more time, and then they both leave.

Something has to change. I feel I've lost control of my life, and I want just a little bit back.That evening, when I wake up on base, I give a disappointing report to my team, and then make my plans to leave.

There are countless outposts on Pandora where I could access a link remotely - a few that base can't track, because they're so remote that they had to be fully self-sufficient. All I need to do is pack a bag, and I can be on my way, but it will have to be on foot. Human foot.

Any vehicle that I can steal, they can track. And the forest is easy to navigate in my avatar body, but my human body is small and slow - not to mention, I'll be a target for every predator out there.

Still, I'd rather die in this human form than continue on the way I have. So, I pack my bag, and head out. No one really cares what I do at night anyway, as long as I link back up in the morning for another useless day of gathering zero intel.

It takes two days, which is much longer than I thought it would, and I just barely scrape through the jungle before finding one of the scientist's outposts.

There is a chance they'll find me here, but they'll have to search a long time to do it - and the team of avatars would have to fly back, and abandon their physical search for the Sullys, to do it. It doesn't seem like they'd make me a priority.

It's mid-morning when I arrive, dirty and hungry, and as much as I want to link to my avatar - who hopefully hasn't been sunk to the bottom of the ocean yet - I need to clean up, and eat.

As soon as I'm done, I put myself under, and pray it works.

It's moments before I wake up, and I'm disoriented when I do. I usually wake up in the dark, but this time, it's blindingly bright out. I'm not lying down in my lonely hut, instead, I'm speeding through the air, the wind whipping at my back, and Neteyam at my front.

My eyes take a long time to adjust, and my lungs take even longer to get in a good breath of air. I'm on Neteyam's Ikran, tied to him, face to face.

"What the hell!" I scream, and without thinking, wrap my arms around his waist. I'm not a pilot, so not really one for flying. In fact, heights really aren't my thing at all. I cling to him, taking in the scenery around me through wide, terrified eyes.

We're above the ocean, with nothing in sight as far as I can see, which only adds to my fear.

"You're alive," Neteyam responds, having to shout for me to hear him. "I wasn't sure if they'd killed you or not."

"I'll explain when we land," I yell in response, and he nods.

It's very strange, being this close to Neteyam. He's grabbed my arm, even pulled me along by my hand before, but now, I'm straddling him, sitting in his lap, a tight rope around my torso, holding me to him - well, it's purpose was obviously to hold my limp avatar to him, but I'm glad to have the security, nonetheless.

He stares ahead, focused on where we're going, and it allows me a little bit of time to think. Not about our situation, or the plan either of us has... but about him.

I can't deny the joy I feel at being here with Neteyam, and I'm not sure if I'm just glad to have woken up anywhere but my dark, lonesome hut, or if it's something more.

Abandoning my life back on Earth to come to Pandora pretty much guaranteed I would never enjoy a romantic relationship again. I'd never been interested in marines, ironically enough. And scientists certainly weren't interested in me. And that was kind of... it, here.

Except, Neteyam. A man my age. A man who has been taking care of the enemy, showing me mercy, visiting me every day, asking me questions about myself and listening carefully to the responses.

It's such a complex, confusing situation, and there was no way to know if it was just being the baseline of Na'vi decency, or if it was something more for him.

It's a long ride, and I have hours to think about all of it, and how hungry I am.

When we finally land, Neteyam hands me a bag full of dried fruits and meat. I take it gratefully, and ask him what's going on.

"When you didn't wake up, there was a lot of debate about what to do with your body. My mother wanted to throw you to the ocean, my father was starting to agree with her and I... didn't think it was right. So I offered to move you, to wait and see if you woke up, and to leave you far from where my family is if you didn't."

I chew on the tough, dried meat. "Oh. Why?"

Neteyam looks away, removing his poncho, and tucking it into his bag. "I do not want you to die."

I nod. "Oh."

"You tell me this - what do you stand for?"

That's not something I've ever been asked. The answer would have been easy four months ago. I was a marine, I had an assignment, and I was serving my country.

But now I know, I never believed in that. It was just something to make me finally feel like I belonged, but it wasn't something I truly wanted to belong to.

"Neteyam, I really don't know. I don't want to help the Sky People, and I won't do anything to harm your family, but... it leaves me, sort of in-between. Do you understand?"

He nods.

"And I, well, I do care about you. You don't have any reason to be this nice to me, to treat me this good. Why do you do that?"

He furrows his brow, looking as confused as I feel.

"I don't know," he replies.

I don't, either.

We set up a camp nearby, Neteyam hangs a hammock in a tree while I stand by uselessly, trying to watch and learn. He hunts after that, and insists I join, but as quiet as I try to be, I'm still too loud.

So, Neteyam finds a new purpose - teach me to hunt. And to fish. And to be like his people.

It's fucking hard. I always thought I was strong, fast and capable, but I'm nothing compared to Neteyam. I lag behind, I'm clumsy and slow, and it takes me forever to learn simple concepts.

Neteyam is endlessly patient with me, in a way I don't deserve, and as the days drag on, we both smile a lot more. We even find ourselves laughing, on occasion.

Neteyam likes to tease me about my lack of coordination, but it's easy to see that he likes teaching me, otherwise he wouldn't take such care to explain things the way he does.

These weeks in the jungle with him, they're the best of my life.

When I wake up in my human body at night, I can't deny how disappointed I am. It's messing with my head, how the tall, blue version of myself is starting to feel like the real me, and this small human feels like the imposter.

Eventually, I'm able to open up to Neteyam about this.

"My father, he asked Eywa to... to transfer him, into his avatar. He had the whole clan to help him, though."

"Why did she do it?"

"He was meant to be one of The People."

I consider that for a while.

It's been a couple weeks, just Neteyam and myself here, and I can't deny how I'm feeling any longer.

It makes no sense, for me to be in love with him, but I undeniably am. It's really stupid actually, to fall in love with someone under my circumstances, but I've always thought love was kind of stupid anyway.

So I make a request.

"Do you think... Eywa would let me stay, in this body?"

"Do you want to be one of The People?"

I bite my lip and think. "I want to belong to something bigger than myself, and I want it to be something... selfless. Something that doesn't demand I be something I'm not. And I want, to stay with you."

The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. "I think she would let you. I think it's dangerous to try, without the clan, but if you want to..." I see the wheels in his head spinning. "We will need your human body, and we will need the tree of souls. At night."

We form a plan.

Neteyam carries my avatar in his arms, and I trail behind, very slowly, in my human body. It took us three days to travel back to the outpost where I was staying, and two more days to travel, the three of us, to the tree of souls.

We had to wait then, just outside, until it was deserted.

"You need to be sure," Neteyam says, towering over me as we wait in the wings. "If you are not sure, it will not work." He reaches out and puts a giant hand on my small shoulder. I wonder what he thinks of my dark skin, my curly hair, my frame and build... but I guess it won't matter much longer.

"I'm sure. And listen, I might die down there, right?"

He takes in a deep breath. "Maybe."

I nod. "Great. Well, listen, I might as well just say it then. I'm mostly doing this because Earth sucks, humans suck, and I don't want any part of it anymore. But I'm also doing it because, I think, I might be in love with you a little bit. So, I don't want to die without having said it. And I don't want you to say anything back. You can tell me how you feel, one way or another, if I wake up. Otherwise, say it over my grave."

I can tell Neteyam is trying not to roll his eyes - something he does often in my presence - so he just nods, and squeezes my shoulder.

When the coast is clear, we approach together, and Neteyam walks me through it. I watch him lay down my avatar body, and I lay similarly to her, our heads near each other.

I should be nervous, but I mostly feel calm.

Didn't I want to die just a month or two ago? And now here I am, with a second chance at life.

Neteyam begins to pray over me, and it sounds a little clumsy, but he's got the spirit. I close my eyes, and feel featherlight touches all over my body... and I drift off.

She closes her eyes, and Neteyam's heart squeezes in his chest.

He knows this is stupid. He's no Tsahik, and they need the full power of the clan to make this transfer... but that's not possible, and he doesn't see any other way to keep Y/N for himself.

He knows it's selfish, but he also knows that his mother allowed him to fly off with this woman, and that has to mean something.

Eywa will see how strong she is, how determined she is, and how much she deserves a true home. Every time Neteyam thinks about the stories she told him of her childhood, the neglect and the abuse, he has to fight back equal parts rage and incredible sadness.

He thinks of those months, locked in her mauri pod, barely any sunlight or interaction, and wonders how she survived - but now he knows, she survived worse than that at the hands of people who were meant to love and protect her.

Y/N seemed so strong at first, and she is, but he can truly See her now. Part of her is still that child, seeking love and confidence in another person, and he wants nothing more than to give it to her - his family's opinion on it be damned.

He prays hard, begging Eywa to give Y/N this one good thing in her life, finally, and waits for her to open her eyes.

It feels as if I drift off into a dream, into a very deep sleep, and when I open my eyes, I feel well-rested - I can't remember the last time I felt well-rested.

It isn't until I see Neteyam hovering over me that I realize what's happened. I tear my eyes from his to look down at myself - and see blue.

It fucking worked. It shouldn't have! We had everything against us - except Eywa, who granted our prayers.

Neteyam lifts me up slowly by my shoulders. It doesn't feel like when I link with this body from the lab; something about this feels different. I never felt fully settled in this body until now.

I turned to look at her - myself - and wonder if I should mourn. I think of all the mistreatment I accepted in that body, all the times I let myself be hurt and abused, and swear to myself that I will not let that happen in this new life I've been given.

"We need to bury her," I say.

Neteyam nods, and wordlessly lifts her up into his arms. I watch as he leans down, removing her mask, and placing a kiss on each of her dimpled cheeks.

"She is beautiful," he says, and my heart wells up into my throat, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

She is beautiful, and she deserves to rest now. It doesn't take long to find her a quiet resting place, and I shed a few tears for her as we cover her up.

"Goodbye," I whisper, wiping the dirt from my hands, and Neteyam joins me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Eywa has given you a new life. What will you do with it?"

I set my jaw and furrow my brow. "I will fight with you, and your family."

We make a long, hard journey back across the sea to Neteyam's family and the Metkayina. For the first time, with my own eyes, I see the place I was held captive.

It's beautiful, with white sand beaches and blue green water. It's hard to imagine how depressing and desolate this place seemed to me not that long ago.

We are accosted on the beach as soon as we arrive, and through the large gathering crowd, Neteyam's parents and siblings rush to us.

"What is she doing here?" Neytiri hisses, grabbing her son's arm. He pulls back from her, and reaches out for my hand, pulling me to his side as dozens of pairs of eyes watch.

"There is much to discuss. Y/N is not a threat to us. You must listen to me."

Neytiri hisses at me, and I stand silent and expressionless. Jake looks on, his expression somewhere between anger and confusion. He turns to another man, tall and imposing, covered in tattoos - it's very easy to tell he's in charge.

"We'll handle this," he tells the man, who nods, and Neteyam and I are pulled through the crowd and off the beach, to a set of mauri pods. I've never seen them before, but Neteyam described them to me while we were away. Without the door covered, they're light, airy, and beautiful.

We enter one of the largest ones, and Neteyam's parents turn to us. "Explain."

Neteyam takes a deep breath and does his best to tell them everything, starting with all I learned in the month we were away together, the way I dedicated myself to learning our ways - just like Jake did, when he first met Neytiri.

The comparison is clever, I have to give him that.

I don't know how I feel about what he says next, as he describes my life on earth to his parents. Neteyam is the only person I've ever shared that with, and it hurts to hear him discuss it so freely, but I understand why he's doing it. If they're going to spare my life, they might need to feel a little sympathy.

"Y/N deserves to be one of The People. She could have given us away and instead, she chose to abandon her people, and risk her life in asking Eywa to allow her to stay in this form. And Eywa has granted that request. I buried her human body myself."

For the first time, neither of Neteyam's parents have anything to say. Everyone stares at each other for a long, tense moment.

"I would never do anything to hurt your family," I say finally, stepping out from behind Neteyam. "I can't do anything but promise you that, on my life." I raise my hand to my chest, pressing it to my heart.

"You have passed through the eye, and return?" Neytiri asks.

Neteyam and I both nod.

"You swear this is true, son?" Jake asks solemnly. "You did this yourself? Just the two of you?"

"Impossible," Neytiri adds.

I shrug.

"Impossible, but we did it. Eywa willed it Herself. Y/N deserves to be one of The People."

"Lo'ak," Jake calls, and from just outside the mauri, Neteyam's brother enters. It's the first time I've laid eyes on him, though Neteyam has spoken of him often. Neteyam is all Neytiri, but Lo'ak is practically a carbon copy of his father.

"Take Y/N outside, we need to talk," Jake says, and I look to Neteyam with wide eyes.

He reaches out, taking my face into his hand, running his thumb over my cheek. "It'll be okay," he says, and I nod.

As I leave, I can't help but think, for the thousandth time, that I confessed my love for him, and he hasn't said a word about it since.

Lo'ak is clearly unsure what to do with me as we leave, so I recommend sitting on the beach. I haven't enjoyed the beach without a blindfold, and it seems like a relaxing thing to do.

Lo'ak agrees, and leads me through a mess of mauri pods down to the water. I plop myself down, digging my toes into the wet sand, and sigh.

"It's nice to meet you, Lo'ak," I say, trying not to sound too formal, as he sits beside me.

"You too. I knew my brother was sneaking you out, but he never let me join."

It's such a younger brother thing to say, and I have to smile. "He was really nice to me, and he didn't have to be."

"We were all surprised, when we found out. Neteyam always does whatever mom and dad say. He's like, the perfect son."

My smile grows wider. "I think he probably still is."

Lo'ak rolls his eyes, and then I see how alike he and his older brother look.

"Probably. If I'd done this, I'd be skinned alive right now."

For the first time that day, I allow myself to truly laugh.

Neteyam joins us on the beach what feels like hours later, and Lo'ak beasts a hasty retreat after clapping his brother on the back.

I grasp the hand that Neteyam extends to me, and stand to look at him, brushing the sand off my thighs.

"Well?" I demand.

"That was rough. They're pretty mad about what we did but, they admitted they didn't really have much of a reason to be, besides me risking myself by going back to the Tree of Souls. They can't argue with Eywa, really. She wouldn't have done this for us if it didn't benefit the balance of life. You're meant to be one of us. My mom isn't happy about it, and my dad doesn't really get it but... you're not going to get any trouble from them. It doesn't mean they like you, especially my mom, but, she'll come around eventually."

I had been holding tension in every single muscle in my body, and at this news, everything relaxes all at once.

It feels as if a war is over. I get to stay in this body, and I get to stay with Neteyam. A wave of euphoria washes over me, and I close my eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears away.

"That's good news," I whisper.

"They especially couldn't argue when I, um, told them that I'm in love with you, and intend to make you my mate."

Mate.

That means wife, to him. And they don't have divorce here on Pandora.

My eyes open in a flash. "You do?"

"If you'll have me," he says, with a shrug and a very small smile. He seems more nervous now than he did earlier, facing his warrior-goddess mother.

In my entire life, I have never known stability. I have never been truly loved, cared for, or had anyone that I could trust. No one has ever tried to put in the effort to gain my trust, and certainly not my love.

Neteyam and I met as guard and prisoner. I was a threat to his family, and to his entire way of life, and still he went out of his way to take care of me. He risked everything for me.

No one has ever shown me that level of commitment - except the marine corps, who wanted my life in return.

Neteyam wants nothing in return. Neteyam loves me, and I know he will take care of me every day for the rest of our lives.

So the commitment isn't scary. It's welcome. It's a relief. It's a warm hug after coming in from the cold. It's everything I have ever needed and didn't think I'd ever be fortunate enough to receive.

The tears are falling freely now, and Neteyam reaches up to try and wipe them away, but they won't stop.

"I love you, Neteyam Sully. I never want to be away from you, not a single day, for the rest of my life." I can barely get the words out through sobs.

He reaches out, pulling me into his arms, hugging me so tightly it almost hurts.

"I will take care of you," he whispers in my ear, "the way you deserve. I promise you this."

With no doubts, I believe him. I will do whatever it takes to keep my mate safe, and I know he will too.

Tag List: @nhloversblog @itsemy01 @eringaitskill

#neteyam #Neteyam fic #neteyam x reader #avatar 2 #avatar twow #this is the longest fic I have written for this blog #holy crap

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adventuringblind · 4 months

Text

Deserving

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Summary: while she falls into the pit of her mind, Charles is there to pull her out.

Warnings: mentioned self-harm, anxiety, toxic media, mentions of addiction

Notes: A Nonny request, I hope you like it!! This one is definitely an insight into how my brain works.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Everyone says rookie years are the hardest. Which, she won't say everyone is wrong, just that she also had consistently bad years. They blend into each other now. A never-ending cycle of the same lame excuses as to why she's so downcast.

She's a rookie driver and having a pretty decent season. Logan and Oscar are two of her closest friends. She's dating Charles Leclerc of all people.

So why is that piece of her brain still nagging at her? Years of therapy and help hasn't done the trick. The stinging still pushes through to the front of her mind.

The habit started so young. It was a distraction from the pain of whatever she'd been going through at the time. A means to satisfy her the voices in her head. Now it's to remind her she's still alive. That the media hasn't shattered her already frail will to live quite yet.

Everything in her wants to just... stop. Everyday she's reminded that her place is somewhere else. Not in the car, not with Charles, not even on the planet.

It doesn't matter that she's having a good year, that the car is good, or that she has people who love her. The voices always come back in those dark hours when she's alone.

She staggered herself in the beginning. Enough that her physio wasn't catching on. She lived in Charles' hoodies, and he thought nothing of it. Just another source of comfort.

He'd seen the faded scars, asked her about it every occasionally. He never pushes her to talk about it.

She doesn't deserve Charles, or anyone for that matter. Mentors, family, friends, they are all to wonderful for her to drag them down into her misery. The constant pity party she throws herself has no guests, only her and her demons.

Redbull isn't the best environment for someone as fragile as her. Despite the boosts of confidence Christian gives her daily and the constant reassurance from Max, she doesn't feel like she deserves it. The media is eating her alive. The next teammate to be crucified to Redbull and Mad Max.

It's starting to become noticeable again. The lack of sleep and covering clothes. Charles is skeptical and keeps reassuring her she can talk to him.

If she does that, he'll leave. Her mind can't take being alone yet.

Max is the first to catch sight of the new lines adorning her wrist. He asks if she's alright, but again, nobody pushes for more. Maybe if they did, she would break. Her fragile walls would come tumbling down.

Oscar is the next to push. A good friend of hers and they've both had good seasons. He and Logan show up one night with comfort food and cards. It manages to make her smile like when they were younger.

But they have to leave eventually. The voices swallow her whole the second she's alone again.

Charles finally pushes for answers. He finds her alone, body slumped along the hotel bathroom wall. She's exhausted, but manages to give a crooked, tired smile.

He crouches down in front of her and looks at the fresh line on her thighs. Bandages are something she has readily available, and Charles knows exactly where to find them.

He works quietly, just humming softly as he patches her up. It's a classical song that he listens enough that she knows the tune but not the name.

Charles dresses her into comfy clothes and tucks her into bed. A hand plays with her hair and strokes her cheek.

She doesn't deserve him.

"Tell me what's eating away at you, chéri. Please, I hate that you won't talk to me."

She scoots her body closer to Charles so she doesn't have to see his face. "Just hard - I guess."

"It's okay to have hard days. It's okay that you feel the way you do. But this thing, hurting yourself, is not the way to make it better."

"I know that, Charlie!" Her voice cracks at saying his name. "I just can't help it."

Those fragile walls she has come tumbling down. The pit of despair finally swallows her, and she can't stop the tears.

It hurts. Her head, her heart, her bones, it all hurts. She falls and shatters, but Charles is here to put the pieces back together.

"I don't deserve you. You're everything people love, and I don't want to drag you down with me."

"Who put that idea in your head?"

"The voices," She sniffles. Her words muffled when Charles pulls her into his chest.

"Well, the voices are incorrect. I, of all people, know what it's like for the media to pick you a part. Whether it's appearances, my driving, my relationships, they will always find something." Charles pulls her back just a bit, enough for him to make eye contact. She hates how his eyes are as glassy as hers. "You don't have to suffer all alone, in silence. You have people around you that understand and want to help. None of us are asking for perfection. We - I - don't want to see you hurting so much."

"What if it's too much?"

"Then we figure it out together."

She falls asleep in Charles' arms. Tears soak into everything, but he doesn't tell her to move. He comforts, because Charles loves her.

She has people who want to be there for her. Yes, slips happen, healing is never straightforward, but she can try. She can lean on Charles, let him love her; let him be the steady rock she needs in her life.

"Progress chéri, not perfection."

"You sound like all team principles."

"And? It's a good saying!"

Charles pulls a laugh out of her. A genuine laugh at something that isn't even funny. She blames her love for him.

"Maybe I do deserve you."

"If this is an insult, I'm taking all the covers tonight."

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jeff-from-marketing · 3 months

Text

Hey it's been a hot minute, I'm gonna go off about Helldivers 2 for a bit, because the whole thing fascinates me.

Funnily enough it's not even the actual game itself that truly fascinates me, as great as it is. I do genuinely think that, while not perfect, it's a very solid game that knows what kind of experience it wants to deliver, and does a fantastic job delivering on it. The Starship Troopers-esque satire is hilarious, and I love how much the gameplay reinforces that satire through things like reinforcements canonically being a whole new Helldiver sent into the meat grinder, and that the mission still counts as a celebrated victory even if you never make it back alive. I could even talk about how the objectively clunky system for calling in orbital support is actually a positive for the game, but only this game and the type of experience it's selling.

But none of that is what fascinates me about this game so much. Because y'see, I played the first Helldivers game, and it was also a great bit of fun! It's actually why I was interested in the second one to begin with. But I also know that the first Helldivers was not a very wide reaching game, none of Arrowhead's games have been. They've not done poorly by any means, they're still in business and have been for over a decade now. But they've always been fairly niche affairs. Until now. To really sell the picture, I wanna rattle off player counts for their previous games:

Magicka in 2011, Arrowhead's first big game and published by Paradox, had an all-time max player count of 11,727 players according to SteamDB. I don't believe it was on any other storefronts, but I could be mistaken. A quick wikipedia visit tells me that the game sold roughly a million units over a year which, again, not bad! Especially for a game that is admittedly fairly unusual, but is a lot of fun!

The Showdown Effect in 2013, which I only just found out about right now after double checking my numbers, had a all time high of just 3,284 according to SteamDB, and is now delisted from Steam. Though apparently there's a remake from another company happening? There's a lot less info on this one in general.

Gauntlet in 2014, this one I do know a bit more about since I also played this one. A remake of the original 1985 game, and was a good bit of fun as well! This one is trickier to get an accurate player count reading, because it did have a PS4 release and those are harder to find numbers for. Regardless, it was also on Steam, so therefore I can use those numbers at least, which gives me a max consecutive player count of 12,730. I don't know how much PS4 factored into this.

And now we get to the real interesting one: Helldivers 1. Again, this is tricky because not only was it on console, but it was actually on console before it was ever on PC, which heavily skews numbers. SteamDB has the peak at just 6,744, but this doesn't sit right with me. I've seen estimates of 50k people around the place, some say 35k, but never a solid source. It's also very difficult to search atm because of how much Helldivers 2 is blowing up. Speaking of...

So Helldivers 1 is their most popular game, and I'll be generous and say that the 50k count is the accurate one. So surely Helldivers 2 can't be that much more- oh I'm not even going to pretend, you already know what's going on here. The game has reached ~450k concurrent players just on Steam alone! And the game also exists on PS5, and if I recall correctly: there's official statements saying that the player counts are roughly equal with each other. That means a peak of ~900,000 individual players. To illustrate how bonkers batshit insane that is, motherfucking Fortnite has a current consecutive player count of roughly one million.

Let me reiterate: a game that came out of basically nowhere with little marketing, from a small studio with only about 100 employees, is rivaling the juggernaut that is fucking Fortnite. That is insane.

As someone who has played all of Arrowhead's previous games besides The Showdown Effect, this is bonkers. There's a reason the sentiment was "there's no way to have predicted this" when the servers were at their worst, because look at the previous data! How is anyone supposed to predict a sequel to a niche game (from a company very few people have heard about) to get a ~1800% increase in max player count? Their initial server capacity was 250k, which would've been very optimistic if you were just going by Helldivers 1 numbers. But then that wasn't enough. And then 360k wasn't enough. And then 450k wasn't enough. We're now at 700k server capacity and just finally getting things under control. This game just exploded in a way no one could have reasonably predicted. And I have no idea why this is the case either.

I'm not saying it's not deserved; it absolutely is! Like I said, game is great, and there's not even any shitty business practices I can bitch at this time! It's just so sudden and out of nowhere that it baffles me. Such a small percentage of these players would've even heard of the first game, let alone played it. It didn't have a massive marketing campaign, this is pretty much all spread through word of mouth, which is insane in its own right. It's not even like the game is entering an untapped market, it shares its existence with games like Deep Rock Galactic, Vermintide, Darktide, the actual Starship Troopers game, probably some others I'm forgetting. And yet, despite all of this, it breached containment something fierce. I don't have a big conclusion to make from all this, I'd love to be able to say "oh people are just getting tired of Triple A- oh I'm sorry, Quadruple A gaming and this is a breath of fresh air" and it is that, as was Baldur's Gate 3, but I'm not naive enough to think that's the main reason. Not when so many other great games continue to go undiscovered, and so many people still end up buying whatever the next big Triple A thing is. It's a great game to play with friends, and there's a lot going for it and a lot of charm, but such is also the case for the other games I already listed in this paragraph and they don't see the same popularity.

Whether it's just dumb fucking luck, or a really oddly specific set of circumstances at play that I can't see, I'm just dumbfounded and flabbergasted. But I'm not exactly gonna complain. It's fun getting sent into the meat grinder to spread Managed Democracy, and I'm glad the game is doing as well as it is, though I do hope that the devs get to have a bit of rest once the dust finally settles a little bit.

#helldivers #helldivers 2 #seriously if they ever need to update the example sentence for the word “unprecedented” this would be a solid candidate #this has genuinely kept me up at night before just thinking about how wild it is compared to all of Arrowhead's other games #let alone compared to just Helldivers 1

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thekeeperof-thefandoms · 11 days

Note

Headcanons of Lucifer watching his s/o and Charlie getting along and maybe even having a little musical note together I just know he'd be getting all teary eyed and shit seeing his baby girl having some form of mother figure or someone she can really look to for advice currently present in her life ❤️ Thanks sm hope u have a good day/night!

Absolutely!

I think at first the relationship between Charlie and anyone her dad dates is awkward because she's so nice and trying to be supportive and Lucifer's new s/o would be trying too hard to create that bond. But steadily, you two would find real things you have in common and begin spending time together.

I'm going to use myself for reference here, but I personally really like arts and crafts kind of stuff and am willing to listen to pretty much all genres of music as long as I like the beat/rhythm. So I imagine most of your bonding is done making posters for the hotel, doing crafts with the guests, and just in general vibing to music together.

Like, one suggested activity for the group is coloring because it's a good outlet and it becomes so popular you guys just have a permanent stack of coloring pages and books available with marker, pens, colored pencils, and you, Charlie, Lucifer, and Vaggie are all just coloring and talking, Lucifer's telling embarrassing stories about baby Charlie for you and Vaggie, and you share a few embarrassing stories of yourself to make Charlie feel better and the absolute relief on her face is palpable.

Charlie is nervous because some sinners critiqued her hotel, her appearance, how her dad had to bail her out in the fight against heaven and it's all just making her upset. And of course her dad and her girlfriend are gonna say stuff about how she's beautiful, the hotel is a wonderful idea, and she was so brave in that fight. And like, yeah you're dating her dad and you've been super nice so far, but when you sit down next to her and ask quietly, "Can I offer you some advice?"

"Please? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing."

You laugh, patting her shoulder. "You're young, Charlie, you're not supposed to have it all figured out. But one thing you can do, is decide not to let judgemental pricks get to you. Take every criticism with a grain of salt. Improve, adapt, and filter out bullshit. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll exhaust yourself if you try. So as long as you're happy and at the end of the day you can say you're proud of what you've done, that you tried....well, that should be enough, right?"

Charlie thinks about it and nods. There's a visible shift in her attitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that....Do you think you could help me read through some of the reviews and stuff? I want to improve if there's any genuine issue that I can address and Dad and Vaggie are....a lot. They just keep trying to tell me everything is perfect."

"They're just trying to hype you up. They love you a lot, so naturally they want you to feel successful and excited. Come on, let's go make some big bowls of ice cream and read through those reviews using silly AI voices. It'll be hilarious."

You and Charlie head off to do just that, talkin and laughing, and neither one of you notices Lucifer absolutely melting into the floor from a few floors up, as he clings to the railing he was leaning against to ease drop. He's gonna need a few minutes to recover. He's crying happy tears. His little girl is grown up and getting along with his partner and they're spending time together and enjoying things together. You're giving her advice and offering her comfort and meeting Charlienat her level and he's just more convinced you're perfect.

He may or may not be ring shopping in the near future. Probably with Ozzie and Bee. They've always had good taste and will probably be thrilled to help him. And if Ozzie is also casually looking for a ring while they're out, well, Lucifer won't say anything.

#fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader

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teenage-mutant-ninja-freak · 1 year

Text

Romantic moments with the boys/the most romantic things they've ever said to you

Leo

It's a lazy Sunday morning

you two are still in pj's and bustling round the kitchen making breakfast

it's not a productive day, you've both been so busy recently that you decided you need a rest day

as you're sitting at the table and Leo is pouring another cup of coffee he starts saying something but you don't quite hear it

"What? speak up, babe"

"I said, I used to think my life, my purpose, was fighting. Just being a weapon for good. But, if I could wake up at 2pm and roll over and kiss you and that's all I did with my day, that would give me greater meaning than any fight I could win"

you're shocked

at his tenderness, at his honestly, at the romance of it

"and no one would get hurt in the process" you reply

there's a moment of silence where you're just looking in each other's eyes

everything else seems to melt away.

Raph

He's a little drunk

but that's when the best stuff always comes out

you've both been partying in the lair, loud music, drinks flowing, dancing ect

he collapses on the bed and looks over at you, smiling

"what?" you demand

he chuckles and looks at the ceiling

"Y'know, I'm not the religious type and even if I was, there's no way I'm getting past the pearly gates but, I would gladly go to hell and tell them I've seen heaven without even entering it every time I've kissed you"

"you're drunk" you say

"I'm drunk sure, but tomorrow I'll wake up sober and you'll still be an angel"

Mikey

you've made cinnamon rolls

and you're sat on the floor of his room both stuffing your faces

he offers you the centre (the best part) of the last one

the sticky goodness of the icing still stuck to his fingers

you take it and happily eat it

"Why'd you always do that?" you ask "give me the best part?"

"I want to give you everything, the moon, the stars, the sun. But I can't do that, so the little things will have to do. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to give you the world"

"Mikey..." you begin "Don't get all soppy on me"

he flashes you a smile

"Bet I can chug more soda that you!"

and the moment is over, but you'll never forget what he said

Donnie

It starts as kind of an argument

"You're telling me you're a scientist and you know that energy can't be made or destroyed but you still think there's nothing after death? That we don't go anywhere, all the energy inside us?!"

"There's an argument to be made for that, yes. But the energy goes into the soil or heat if you're cremated! There is no next life, we're done"

"I refuse to believe that"

you give him that indignant look you always do when you know you're losing the argument

he laughs and then stops to think for a second

"Ok, I'll make you a deal. If there is a next life, promise me you'll find me in that one too? And the one after that? One lifetime isn't enough of you"

"I promise" you say.

he takes your hand and kisses it

"Then it's a deal"

#tmnt #tmnt imagine #tmnt x reader #tmntxreader #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #romance #romantic

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Text

Rubik Dice

Yandere Entity (Entities?) Blurb

An: In a vent of frustration with a rubix cube - I present this. [Brief mentions of death]

Six people to a room.

It's too many.

Between damped sobs and their own; and the feud in their head, they couldn't think let alone say their piece. How did this happen? How could they make such a careless mistake? It was just supposed to be an evening stroll. It had been a week since they'd been out. The longest they'd ever been put away. Being cramped under so long they had to get some fresh air or risk clawing out their throat for a clean breath. It's so cramped in their head, in this room. Six people is far too many to be alone with unless the last person is....

"Nice job, idiot. We're in enough trouble as it is - now what are we going to do?."

It was an accident.

"Don't be so mean! We all have our lapses in judgement sometimes.... Even if they are kidnapping not-so-random strangers off the street."

Didn't you tell me to do it?

"Haha- You really fucked up tonight, didn't you?.. He saw your face. No choice, but to kill him less you never want to be seen in public again? All I'm sayin' is my blades should still be in the bag."

We can't kill any more people. Why are you always like this? Please, can't we just -

"Leave this to a roll of the dice?"

Indecisive on topics ranging from daily meals to torture methods; the trio concluded their shared consciousness to one, unified:

"No."

"Take out that dice and I'm breaking your fingers. Why do we always have to be responsible for your fuck ups?"

"Such a coward. You can crack a brick over someone's skull to shut them up, but you can't stab a knife through their neck to silence them?"

"You know, someone has been reeeeeally quiet since we got back home. We all know what that means."

Ragged breathing stills in the face of its captor. The rambling maniac themselves has quieted to nothing more than a stagnant shell. They both know what's to happen next. There's only one way out of this now. He can beg all he wants, but he'll tell. Even if they believe him the others won't. Neighbors. The police. You. Everything always came back to you. Mistakes, failures, hopes. You'd hate them - all of them - if you knew what took place in this basement. You'd never want to see any of them again.

"Maybe we should let him go... They're pretty hot when they're mad. I'm sure they'd forgive us eventually."

"Quiet."

It's quiet now. How soon the commotion ends when that side of them says their part. Their voice doesn't like nails on a chalkboard. So sweet it makes teeth rot. It isn't authoritative enough to make those who heard Trimble in their wake nor is it meek and pathetic enough for a second listen. It was the amalgam of those voices - the best pairs.

"Now, Blu. You know we can't do things alone that we haven't discussed with everyone else before hand. Would you please let me out so I can take care of our little problem?"

"...ok."

Trembling hands retrieve the fist-sized cube from its pocket; chipped nails slid into the crevice separating the second and third row of squares. Why were they the one that had to solve it? These puzzles were always so hard despite the countless times they've done it - teary eyes aiding little to their cause. It becomes easier once they slide the third white cube into row. Their eyesight and mental slate become clear, cheeks dry and devoid of the faded acne scars that plagued them. They step towards their captive who was busy squirming away from the figure now five inches taller and missing the hunch in their posture that left them wondering how they had managed to drag them here in the beginning. Gaze piercing and laser focus as opposed to cowering from each sniffle. With those pure white eyes it's impossible to tell where they're looking, but the threat of being the target of their glance was petrifying alone. They were blue not even a minute ago. It was like they were a different person entirely - body and soul.

A dice falls to their victim's feet.

"Six.... You were fortune this time."

Another object grabbed from their robes. A single line drawn across their neck - and it's back to five.

"I knew you had that on you...."

"Awww, what the hell - over already? Should've made them beg or at least give us their address."

"May they have a peace rest.... Is what I would say if it were someone else, haha!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."

The figure pockets their weapon and stands with a stretch, stepping away from the growing pool of blood. "That was messier than expected. What should we do now?"

"Clean up this mess."

"Check Y/n's page."

"Send them flowers!"

"And this guy's heart in a chocolate box."

"All good ideas. Why don't we do them all?... Besides that last one."

Five people to a room.

As it always should be - until you come home.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere oc #yandere insert #yandere blurb #yandere god #tw yandere #yandere x darling

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depravitycentral · 9 months

Note

im sorry if this is a lame ask, but i just had the idea and thought i would share it to see if it would strike any inspo! of course on this blog you’ve talked about all the things our beloved troupe members are into, but have you ever considered what their absolute turn offs are? like things that pull them out of the mood almost immediately? or kinks that would seem to fit certain members, but end up not being their thing for one reason or another

Ooh yes anon this strikes inspo !!

This is a good point - it's all fine and dandy to imagine sex with your yandere as being so bad but so good, as if they know every secret, dirty kink and fantasy you have. (That's because they do know, whether through extensive stalking, pouring through your search histories, or raw, natural sexual chemistry with you. They all think they've got that last one, but normally any positive sexual encounters between the two of you will be a consequence of the former two rather than the latter.)

But of course, everyone has turn offs, and while your yandere would be willing to do pretty much anything to please you, even the most obsessed, unhinged yanderes have a few hard, fast exceptions.

I'm assuming you meant just hxh yanderes for this, so let's proceed moving forward with that in mind! If you meant for another fandom, please let me know and I'd be happy to discuss those yanderes too <3

Let's discuss !!

(Tw for petnames, watersports, recording, anal, pegging, crying, hitting, and other smutty things)

Chrollo Lucilfer is pretty hard to frazzle in bed, and is one of those who have done extensive, eager research into both your own personal sexual preferences, and made educated guesses on kinks that seem to correlate with ones he already knows you possess. That said, Chrollo himself isn't especially risky in bed - he'll indulge you, sure, but he doesn't have a strong desire to try anything especially crazy unless you're a big fan. And while he'll let you have your fun (particularly in the beginning of your sexual relationship, just because promising you that he'll choke you or dominate you or whatever else you may like just to get you into bed with him and somewhat willing, just because he needs to pleasure you and get you warming up to him) , most of the time sex with him is quite vanilla. He's open to listening to whatever you want, with one very, very large exception: there is no amount of pleading or bargaining that will let you peg him. He doesn't inherently believe that men should always be dominant over women, but he does believe that he should always be dominant over you. And if you were to peg him, this power structure would collapse, allowing you too much control over both his pleasure and him. He doesn't mind being in a more physically submissive position (he'll never deny you when you straddle him and tell him that you're in charge for the evening, the only response you get being a twinkle in his eye, a soft smirk and a hummed we will see, my love), but the idea of you fucking him just rubs him the wrong way. He's more vulnerable with you than he is anyone else, but Chrollo has his limits. (Besides, the idea of absolutely falling apart for you is both alluring and terrifying, because the moment you discover his prostate, he'll be a gasping mess, his cheeks tinged a light pink and his grip on the sheets below him very, very tight. It would be embarrassing, and he can't allow you to see him in such a weak position - it would derail all the hard work he's done to convince you that you need him.)

Feitan Portor really detests being called Daddy. He thinks it's weird, and even if you - sweet, perfect, irritatingly attractive you - were to say it, he still wouldn't like it. There's just something about it that rubs him the wrong way - it feels too paternal, and while he doesn't remember having a family in any biological capacity, it still just makes his skin crawl. He won't get soft immediately upon hearing you say it (he's always just slightly hard when you're in his vicinity, so rarely ever is he truly flaccid around you), but he'll need to pull out and take a breather, mentally trying to erase the sound of the petname rolling off your tongue. He can deal with other petnames - he'd be okay with sir, if only because he's always kind of had a thing for roleplaying, or at least having some sort of overarching power dynamic present during sex, and being called sir would place him in a position of absolute authority, meaning he could do whatever he wants to you and you'd just obediently obey. (You already kind of do, too scared to say no to him, but it doesn't feel as authentic - he feels less comfortable, more vulnerable and exposed and raw, and he doesn't like that.) You could even call him master if you really wanted to - similarly, it feeds his desire for playing a powerful, dominant role, but he doesn't have any sort of particularly liking towards maid costumes or anything of the sort, so it wouldn't do too much for him. He's good with nearly anything else you could throw at him, but never Daddy. Frankly, he really just prefers his own, actual name - it just sounds so damn good when you gasp it, the sound going straight to both his cock and heart.

Phinks Magcub's brows always get pinched and his lips quirk down when he thinks about the idea of you bleeding during sex. It makes his hands itch, this protectiveness welling up inside him that makes him antsy and nervous and jittery, the energy all pent up and needing to be released because god, he doesn't like seeing you hurt. Even if it makes you feel good, your moans increasing because of the pain twinged pleasure, he's unwilling to indulge you - he couldn't bring himself to purposefully make you bleed, and while he does occasionally (often) leave you bruised and incredibly sore after having his way with you, that's a whole different thing from seeing that crimson color against your pretty skin. It just makes him uncomfortable - if you asked nicely enough he'd consider maybe lightly slapping you or getting rough with you (though he's already pretty rough when he gets lost in the moment - finger shaped bruises litter your body and hickeys dance along your collarbone and neck), but he'll draw the line at drawing blood. (Similarly, he doesn't really want to bleed himself either, but he'd be more willing to be in the position of pain than putting you into that position of pain. Besides, it might help him last longer, the pleasure warded off by negative stimulation - and god knows Phinks needs all the help he can get in delaying his orgasms.)

Uvogin is pretty adventurous in bed, all things considered, but even he has a few hard turn offs, one of which being degrading you. He doesn't mind calling you needy or possessive terms of endearment, but anything with even a slight negative connotation is always preceded by a 'my', so that when he's calling you a slut it always becomes my slut. Even then, he doesn't like doing this - his natural default when he's naked with you is to be praising you, because those are honestly the thoughts running through his mind when he's got his hands on you and he's feeling your soft skin against his. He genuinely only has good, lustful, reverent things to say about your body and the fact that he's getting to touch, kiss, squeeze, and fuck you, and he's not shy about telling the truth. And so, if you were to request for him to degrade you a bit in bed or be a little meaner, he'll oblige, but it'll feel just slightly forced, his words not holding their usual deep, growling timber that always sends shivers down your spine. He ends up compromising by mixing praise and degradation, but absolutely destroying you with his thrusts and well placed circles on your clit, channeling all the harsh, humiliating energy of verbal degradation instead into how he assaults your body with an overwhelming amount of pleasure. He just doesn't like the idea of lying to you, even if it turns you on in this context, because it just feels wrong to tell you that you're only a hole for me to fuck, and holes don't talk. You're not - you're so much more than that, and he doesn't want you to think otherwise. Hell no, not with all the work he's put into making you get comfortable with him and want him. One roll around on the liviing room floor (he'd gotten impatient and didn't feel like making the thirty step journey to the bedroom) isn't worth reversing months worth of warming you up to him. Not even if you leave his back scratched up or end up so stuffed full of his cum that you're literally leaking.

Nobunaga Hazama is, frankly, just thankful and elated that you're touching him. He's delusional, compeltely out of touch with reality, and fucking weird, but he's also a major sap and literally gets heart eyes everytime he sees you. And so, in the bedroom he wants everything to be as close and sensual as possible, and for every bit of pleasure and love shared between the two of you to be expressed in full. This, of course, includes any and all noises he draws out of you - that is, Nobunaga has to have you gasping and keening and moaning. He's loud himself, and he expects sex to be full of wanton cries and a cacophany of sound; one that you are expected to eagerly contribute to. And if you don't deliver? Well, Nobunaga will just try harder, licking at your faster or thrusting harder or pinching tighter - anything and everything to get you to make a damn sound, to give stop him from having to confront the reality that you aren't enjoying this nearly as much as he is. He gets turned off when you're quiet, which is a real bummer if you aren't naturally loud - you have to be, because he won't quite until you are, even if that takes hours and hours and hours.

Alternatively, Franklin Bordeau can tell when you're faking it, and he doesn't like that. At all. He doesn't want your forced moans or fabricated shaking or anything that isn't real - he wants you, your genuine reactions to his touch, and your genuine personality in bed. He doesn't want you to sound like some pornstar - with your moans constant and high and shrill and more pained than pleasured - for two main reasons, the first of which being that it's just annoying. He's never understood the allure of a woman screaming during sex, and even in the context of actual, real pleasure, it still makes him uncomfortable. It's too close to the sounds he hears when he's working a heist - he doesn't want you to sound like them, because he has no intentions of hurting you and just the mere thought of you bloodied is enough to get him soft immediately and clutching onto you like you'll disappear any moment. The second reason why he doesn't want you to be forcing anything is because although he's decently confident in his sexual abilities, he knows he isn't making you feel that good. He's sure him fingering you isn't capable of getting you gasping and whining his name constantly - sure, it feels good, and you'll probably moan and sigh, but still. When he's fucking you, he's hopeful that you'll cry out his name, but he knows you shouldn't be screaming and rythmically, shrilly moaning. He values honesty, and hearing your real, raw reactions to his touch and his presence feels a thousand times more pleasurable than anything you could ever forcibly manufacture - especially your orgasms. He can always tell when you're faking, so don't try it. Don't.

Honestly, it's pretty difficult to get Shalnark turned off. He's kinky, adventurous, and misinterprets a lot of your responses during sex - he likes to think you're just as wild as he is, and even when you clearly don't like something, he still thinks seeing you struggle is just as arousing. (Besides, most of the time he will get you to orgasm - and seeing the internal dilemma of hating what he's doing alongside the pleasure you can't hold back is absolutely delicious.) That said, there are very specific situations that Shalnark doesn't find any attraction in - specifically, he absolutely is not willing to be cucked. Having another person in the room while he fucks you hard enough to make you cry isn't a problem at all - on the contrary, he's very, very interested in that idea, because having another man watch him claim you makes both his possessiveness and nostrils flare, his palms getting sweaty and his pants feeling tight. Cucking, on the other hand, implies that there's someone else touching you - another person sullying you, getting their disgusting hands on your perfect skin that's all his his his, and that's just simply unacceptable. He didn't go through all that trouble of kidnapping you and keeping you in a secure location just to have you touched, fucked, loved by another man. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger or someone Shalnark trusts with his life - you will not be getting intimate with another soul for the rest of your life, simply because he firmly sees you as his property, and him yours. So don't even bother bringing the idea up - he'll fuck you in front of the stranger, no problem, but they're prohibited to strictly watching. (Or, maybe, they'd be good at helping get those camera angles that are really tough to capture - right up in your face, or right zoomed into where his length - flushed red and swollen - is sinking into you over and over, the home video the perfect thing to watch tonight as he cuddles you to sleep.)

Alternatively, Machi Komacine can't stomach the thought of doing anything public. It's not that she fears getting caught, but rather that it makes her uncomfortable that anyone could see the two of you. Someone could just pass by and happen to get an eyeful of you - your pretty skin and curves, your lovely body that her eyes always seem to get stuck on, watching, wanting, yearning. She's not spontaneous in any way when it comes to sex, and she just doesn't see the allure of the risk or danger involved. She's too possessive; it takes her so long to even allow herself to see you naked, and to have a stranger do that and even see your face while she's pleasuring you, while you're coming? The thought makes her nen flare up, the urge to wrap you in her arms and keep the world from even catching a glimpse of you only growing stronger. Even aside from her possessiveness, the idea of doing something where others could see you makes her nervous, too, because Machi isn't entirely confident in her abilities to actually please you in the bedroom. Sure, she understands female anatomy and has a good sense of what you like from all that stalking, but actually doing it? That's a different thing entirely - and the pressure of pleasing you coupled with the pressure of other people potentially watching her struggle makes her feel uncomfortable, a foreign, heavy sense of self doubt settling heavily in her gut. It's just not for her - sex belongs in the bedroom, or perhaps the couch or kitchen table. Not outside of your 'shared' apartment, and certainly not where someone else could get an eyeful of what's hers.

Pakunoda will still jump on the opportunity to pleasure you and be pleasured, but in general she'll be hesitant if the both of you are still fully clothed. She doesn't see the appeal of clothed sex - she wants you completely bared to her, utterly raw, your body on display for her to worship and touch and mark. She thinks keeping the clothing on is not only impractical, but diminishes the intimacy between the two of you. You'll get all sorts of sticky, hard to clean things staining the clothes, and because she can be a little snobby about materialistic delights like luxury clothing, she's not exactly keen on getting your slick all over her nice clothes. (Although, she wouldn't be entirely opposed to having your slick all over her skin, like you're leaving a mark of possession on her. Just not the clothes.) Clothes stop her from being able to fully explore your body, and, as much as she'd never admit it, when you have your clothing on it makes it much harder to use her nen on you. That is, while it makes her feel a little dirty and slimy, she will be using her ability to dig into your memories for any information on your kinks and fantasies, just because she wants to make sex as perfect and pleasurable for you as she possibly can. So shed the layers with her - it makes things so much better. Plus, the sight of you bare and squirming underneath her, looking all pretty and submissive and cute is certainly a drool worthy sight.

All things considered, Shizuku Murasaki is actually kind of picky about sex. She likes things to be her way or the highway, and as her darling you'll be forced to go along with all of her preferences and wants. And while she loves all things oral, there are a few things she's absolutely unwilling to do. Namely, while she worships you and cherishes you as much as a mass-murderer can, she will not indulge you in anything involving your asshole. It's a cleanliness thing for her; she knows you're clean (she'd just bathed with you this morning and personally hand washed you, paying very, very careful attention to your cunt), but she has a mental block against having her mouth anywhere near that part of you. She's always felt this way with every partner she's had - she just doesn't understand the allure of anal, whether that be fingering, oral, or penetration. She'd much, much rather pay attention to other areas of your body - your pussy, your thighs, your breasts, your mouth. She'll always shy away when she's got her face between your legs, but unfortunately for you, this courtesy does not extend to you too. She doesn't expect you to do anything with her ass, but she certainly won't stop you if you're getting too close, or if you get the desire. She'll just blink at you and tell you to be careful, then pull your head in by your hair and get you closer and closer and closer, enjoying the experience despite herself. Shizuku is a little hypocritical in a lot of aspects in sex, but this is one particular area where she's absolutely unfair.

Hisoka Marrow is a freak in every sense of the word. Genuinely, there is very, very little you could do that would cause him to fall out of the mood, or to rid him of the insistant, raging boner nearly everything you do gives him. He'll try anything once, and he firmly believes in keeping your sex life interesting and varied. That said, he certainly has preferences, and one thing that sits quite low on his list of preferred bedroom activities is to be worshipped. It's not that he doesn't want your attention and praise (he does, urgently), but rather that there's something about the position of being the one drowned in compliments and confessions of love that makes him a little uncomfortable. Perhaps it's because he's not used to being in such a submissive, vulnerable position, or maybe it's because he doesn't feel like he's got enough control of the situation. It doesn't really matter, because Hisoka will always send teasing remarks your way when you get the courage to be the dominant one, and that will almost always derail you enough to get you steering away from any territory that gets dangerously close to becoming too vulnerable and real for him. He loves you in his own twisted, strange way, but he's not ready to open himself up fully to you, to let you take full charge and just take care of him. He may never be ready, really, so any dreams you have of fully dominating him and reducing him to a trembling, fucked out mess will have to remain just that - dreams.

In general, Illumi Zoldyck will try most things you suggest. It's not that he's especially adventurous in the bedroom, but rather that you're the first person he's ever had any sexual contact with, and everything with you feels good, so he wants to try it all. He has very few boundries when it comes to you, and so consequently, there aren't too many things that turn him off. However, he does have two surefire things that he'll immediately and vehemently outright refuse. Firstly, he will absolutely not wear any protection. He turns his nose at the thought of condoms, and will only laugh in your face if you suggest using them for obvious reasons. He will be entering you in the most natural way possible, and he will be finishing as deeply inside of you as he can manage. Secondly, he absolutely will not allow another person to be involved in your sex life. There will be no third person in your bed, no other person for you to be pleasuring and be pleasured by. There is only you and Illumi - it's your sex life, and it makes his possessiveness flare up to dangerous proportions to imagine another person seeing you in such a vulnerable, intimate position. So really, don't even bother bringing up the idea - he won't even consider it, already shooting it down before you're finished getting the sentence out. (And after he finishes lecturing you about how another man or woman has no place in your bed, he'll promptly fuck you right then and there - no matter where you are - just to prove his point. He's all you need, after all.)

Sex with Kurapika Kurta is soft and sensual. It can be a little rougher if he's had a particularly bad day, or if he's recently had a run in with the Troupe, but for the most part he makes love rather than fucks. And because of this, he really, really doesn't like seeing you cry during sex. It makes him uncomfortable, his instincts begging him to comfort you and eliminate whatever caused your tears. He associates crying with the early days of when he'd kidnapped you, back when you were still terrified of him and much too scared to even stand to look at him, much less allow him to touch you. And particularly in the context of sex, he does not want to be reminded of all the horrible things he's done to you - things are good now, happy, and you've finally come around to the idea that he loves you, that you'll spend the rest of your life with him. And so, the moment there are tears beading at your eyes, he's immediately going soft, his palms cupping your cheeks as he stares wildly at you, asking in a rushed, still breathless voice if you're alright, if you're hurt, if you're upset and who he needs to kill to right this wrong. He overreacts, and it always, always turns into either self hatred aimed at himself for ruining your happiness, or a bloodthirsty desire to kill whoever is upsetting you. The only exception to his hatred of you crying is when it's done because you're too overstimulated, the pleasure too much for you to even process. When you're so fucked out from the pleasure he gave you, then the tears are acceptable. He still doesn't like them all that much, but it's at least a sign that he's treating you well, that he's able to make you feel good and pleasured, and it makes pride swell in his chest. So in general, try not to cry in front of him - he goes flaccid in mere seconds, his protective nature ramping up and any semblance of sexiness gone immediately.

When Leorio Paradinight has you in bed, he's almost in a state of utter awe, almost unable to really process what's going on. He's just so incredibly aroused by you, even if you're just laying beside him with your clothes fully on, and because of this he's game to try pretty much anything you want in bed. He's genuinely just so fucking excited to be with you that he'll do basically anything you want, no matter how degrading or gross or off the wall. That said, however, he doesn't really understand the appeal of pet play. He doesn't harbor any fantasies of you donning a set of bunny ears or a tail or anything of the sort, simply because he doesn't really like fantasies that change you, even if it's something as trivial as your ears. He thinks of you as perfection, and that includes every proportion of your body, every freckle, mole, hair and blemish you could have, and he doesn't want to pretend that you aren't exactly who - and what - you are. Besides, he just doesn't see the appeal; he wants you to talk and moan for him when he's touching you, not have you purr or whine or any other animal noise. He thinks it's a little weird, if he's being honest, and while he'll begrudgingly agree if you beg him to try it out (he'll do anything to see you smile, after all), his orgasm won't come as pathetically easily as normal. This extends to pet play where he's the one dressing up as a pet, too - he's more likely to enjoy it this way, but there's something humiliating about the butt plug tail and the fox ears, and it's humiliating in all the wrong ways. He's just not too big of a fan - now if you wanted to get some sort of ownership roleplay going that didn't involve pets or animals, he'd be all over that - the moment you refer to yourself as mommy or his mistress, he's practically creaming his pants, getting on his knees for you and begging for you to touch him. (And maybe even step on him, depending on how needy he's feeling that day.)

Razor, despite sometimes losing control in bed and getting a little rougher than he means to, will never willingly hit you in bed. He doesn't like the idea of slapping you. He might gently pat your ass when you're bouncing on top of him, but it's only just enough to make you yelp, only enough to make a slight smack noise of skin against skin. Hitting you - even in the context of sexual pleasure - reminds him too much of his younger days, back when he was a criminal and was much less controlled, much more dangerous. And really, that's the last thing he wants you to see him as - he wants you to take comfort in him, to want him to hold you and touch you, and he's sure that even if you want him to get rough with you and manhandle you, to smack your cheek and tell you to behave for him, you will start associating him with pain and violence. And he just can't have that - not after all the work he's gone through to prove that despite kidnapping you, he's not the monster you think he is. (Besides, there's just something more meaningful about softer, sweeter sex - he's fucked more women than he'd care to admit, but you're the first one he's gone slow with, the first one he's really taken his time with. And while it might be stupid, that makes you different in his eyes - like he's saved something special for you, like the passionate, romantic side of him that comes out when he's got you naked and stretched out on his fingers is something only you'll ever get to see.)

Another man who tries to keep things a bit vanilla in the bedroom (not for the same reasons as Razor, but rather because he just genuinely prefers more intimate and tame sex) is Knuckle, who can't stand the thought of recording your intimate times. He does objectively think the idea is a bit hot, but he's too worried that somehow the recordings will get leaked, that somehow other people will get their hands on precious recordings of him making love to you, of him making you moan and sigh and fall apart on his tongue and fingers and cock. He views the time you both spend together in the sheets as being almost sacred, like something special that's reserved only for the two of you, and having a camera rolling would just make everything feel too impersonal. It would make him nervous, too, because he'd want to rewatch the tapes with you just so he can see your face the whole time (he tends to lose himself the closer he gets to his orgasm, and always buries his face in your neck to try and make himself last longer, so he misses seeing your facial expressions when he's finishing inside you), but he'd be worried about the way he looks, about whether he looks attractive to you, dominant to you, sexy to you. However, despite his reservations about recording himself fucking you, he will photograph you in the pretty, feminine lingerie he buys for you. He'll get a new color or cut, and have you try on the set, posing for the camera while he takes a few shots, his pants visibly straining around his swollen cock because god, you look good. He'll keep the photographs in his pants pocket and never, ever share them, always looking back at them when he's away on missions and missing you. He's a bit hypocritical, but the moment a camera gets trained on him, he's turning red and clamming up.

Morel is another one who's very flexible in the bedroom, and would be difficult to completely turn off. However, one thing that Morel just simply can't get behind is watersports. He'll try it, if you really beg him to, but he just doesn't like it. It feels unsanitary to him (and god, the mess), but even beyond that it just feels a little degrading, and not in a good way. If you really, really pushed him on it, he'd give in and do as you please, reluctantly forcing himself to release onto you, but the entire time he'd be feeling guilty, discomfort eating at him because isn't it horribly disrespectful to be literally pissing on you? He loves you, and it just sits wrong with him. He'll refuse after that first time, and while he's not particularly into it, if you really, really wanted to, he'd let you reverse the roles. He's not particularly eager to have you wet yourself or piss on him, but that's better because now at least you're the one in the position of power. Plus, you're begrudgingly a little cute when you get all embarrassed about it. But still, it's most definitely not something he desires, and while he'd entertain your fantasies once in a blue moon, it certainly won't be a regular occurrence in your sex life together.

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13keithxpidge13 · 11 months

Note

Hey! I saw your post asking for aob miles/hobie/gwen/pav asks and I love exploring the possibilities of an aob world outside of smut (though the smut is also fun). Loved your post about scenting! What do you think of this: it's post a particularly rough mission, they're all tired and bruised up, and someone (I'd love it if it was Miles) slips into a slight feral state of mind where they lose speech and they're acting on their instincts without thinking about it. Their friends don't notice it until they start trying to herd everyone someplace safe, but when they do notice they decide to just go along with it. And then they nest together. I love nesting and I think it would be cute. Bonus points for, if it's Miles, this incident is what makes him realize that his teammates have become pack to him.

Just an idea! Love you 😘

OKAY THIS IDEA IS SO GOOD BUT I'M GONNA SWITCH IT UP!

It's a rough, awful mission yeah and Miles is badly injured. His friends rush everywhere to try and find him and finally find him behind some rubble next to a destroyed building. Gwen goes to reach for him but Hobie snatches her back and holds her securely against his side.

"Hobie!" She gasps out. "What are you doing?! Miles is hurt-!"

"Look," He whispers, tense and unsure and Gwen blinks before turning back to Miles who is curled in on himself and breathing heavily but, something's in his arms...

A babe. A pup. An infant that can't be more than a few months old and Miles is protecting her.

"He's feral, right now," Hobie tells her. "If ya' try and get anywhere /near/ him, he'll fuck ya' up, Gwendy. He can't tell who's who and will attack anyone that tries to get near his pup, that's his mindset right now."

"Alphas will only set him off," Pav says, scared and nervous for their packmate. "What should we do? Call Miguel? Get Jess over here? She's a female alpha, maybe that'll calm him down more than a male alpha."

Hobie sighs and shakes his head. "Nah," He replies. "Callin' Miguel will only make things worse 'cause he'll get all fuckin' dramatic and try to rush down here to get to Miles. Ya' know how they are now, Miles is practically his pup in Miguel's eyes. Jess and Miles ain't close enough to form some kind of bond and ain't Peter out on 'notha mission right now?"

Gwen sighs. "...so what do we do?"

Hobie turns to Miles who is /glaring/ at them as his mask has fallen and he's breathing heavily, his scent sour and gross as the babe in his arms cries and wails.

His scent screams /don't you dare come the fuck over here, I'll fuck you up, motherfucker/.

But, they've gotta get the situation handled. Now.

"Stand back," Hobie says as he sets his guitar in Gwen's hands. "I gots an idea."

Then, he crouches down, attempting to make himself smaller and sweetens his scent so Miles knows he's not a threat. Pav and Gwen take multiple steps back, letting Hobie do his thing and they watch as he crawls ever so slightly closer to the feral Omega.

"Omega," Hobie whispers, inner alpha coming out to rumble softly. "Sweet thang', lemme get closer to ya', yeah?"

Miles growls and tenses up further.

Hobie coos and rumbles. "Omega," He tries again and gets even closer. "Not gon' hurt ya'...pretty pup ya' got there, yeah? Takin' such good care of her. Such a good momma, ain't ya'?"

Miles breathes heavily and then contemplates for a few moments before nodding.

Hobie hums. "Yeah...but, yer hurt, baby. Gotta get ya' and the babe checked out, hm? Don't wantcha gettin' infected, okay? So, can ya' trust me and come with us, hun?"

After another fifteen minutes of coercion, miles finally let's the alpha into his personal space and Hobie immediately begins to scent his neck, trying to see if it can get Miles back online with them. It does the trick because moments later, he's blinking and his eyes come back to full awareness.

"...Hobie?" He croaks, voice rough from all the growling he had done. "What...what happened?"

"Just got a lil' territorial on us, is all," Hobie tells him softly and Miles glances down at the baby girl in his arms and twitches.

"A-ah," His cheeks darken in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

"Nothin' ya' got ta' apologize for, babydoll," Hobie tells him as Gwen and Pav rush over to comfort their packmate and Miles accepts all their kisses and scenting with a wet smile.

"Just glad yer safe."

#punkflower #hobie x gwen #pavitr x gwen #pavitr x hobie #miles x hobie #gwen x hobie #pavitr x miles

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 8 months

Text

Fall into Love

Great! So, I was thinking, maybe an enemy to lovers fic with Eddie. Like he and reader just don't get along but they have never really fought until they are meant to work on a project together and their bickering lead to sex - mindblowing sex - because of the sparks.

But Eddie says afterwards "this is pure physical, I still can't stand you". And that hurts reader a lot even though she won't admit it.

And so when reader develops feelings for Eddie she doesn't say anything, and since she doesn't get annoyed with him anymore she isn't like she used to be with him and Eddie starts to wonder if she's trying to distance herself.

And then one night when Eddie thinks she's asleep after they've had sex he just lay and strokes her back, whispering sweet things and how he has fallen for her but that he can never tell her because of how awful he was in the beginning and she deserves better but that it will kill him when she eventually calls the whole thing off to be with someone better than him.

And then she turns around and it's all sweet cliches when she tells him she's in love with him too?

Warnings: Angst, enemies to lovers, protective Steve, fwb, fluff. Minors shoo! 18+

Request by @somethingvicked

Don't copy, reuse or repost my work.

❤️

You were not in a good mood. Bad enough, that you had to do this stupid project in the first place but Miss O'Donnell had to put you in a pairing with your worst enemy?

Eddie Munson, you couldn't stand him. He was very much the bane of your favourite existence and now you had to spend time with him after school too!

His pouty expression, the tenseness in his jaw when you met up with him didn't help your mood. He wasn't in the mood for this, just like you.

"So, I guess we should head to yours then Munson?'' You huff and he nods tersely as you walk to his van.

"Sure my castle is good enough for you princess?" he asks sarcastically and you glare at him, heading into his van.

This was going to be a disaster.

❤️

Disaster was right. Eddie was just as crabby as you were and trying to pick a book to focus on for English class was not going well.

Mostly you and Eddie sniped at each others contributions and didn't get as far as you would hope.

"Could you stop being a child for one second so we can get this done" You snap at Eddie who rolls his eyes and sits on the couch.

"As you wish princess" he replies sarcastically and you glare at him. Could he not have one conversation that was civil?

"See this is what I mean, you're insufferable" he snorts, turns to you with a raised eyebrow.

"Like you're any better little miss perfect, yeah perfect with everyone else but not me, you're an annoying know it all" at some point during the argument the two of you have gotten closer.

"Just like you're an asshole to me. I hate you!"

"Well, I fucking hate you too" That's when the two of you end up kissing. It's hot, heavy and passionate.

You break away from him for a second, both of you breathing heavily, kissing Eddie felt so good.

There's a moments silence and then you press another kiss to his lips and he's kissing you back.

Eddie backs you up against the wall, hands pinned above your head as the kisses deepen, you tug off his shirt and yours soon follows.

It's not long before you're both naked, entwined on his bed and losing yourself in each other.

❤️

Eddie groans as he pulls out of you, kissing your neck. It takes a few seconds to catch your breath, the sex was incredible and your trying to wrap your head around the fact it was so good with Eddie.

"That was mindblowing but this is purely physical. I still can't stand you" he grumbles out and you feel a deep, visceral ache in your chest.

The comment hurt, you know it's true, you can't stand Eddie either but it still needles at you.

It hurt a lot more than you care to admit but you won't tell Eddie that, your shackles rise and you scowl at him.

"Right, it's not like you're my favourite person either Munson" he smirks, brown eyes filling with mischief.

"Mmm but I still made you scream for me didn't I?" he grins proudly and you look away flustered.

"Enough talking" You decide and pull him closer for more kisses, partly to stop him acting all smug and the other reason is because you just really like kissing him.

❤️

For the next few weeks you and Eddie sneak around, the sex between the two of you is mindblowing and inspite of Eddie's warning, you find yourself growing more and more attached to him.

Feelings have began to develop, deep feelings. Which means you're fucked.

Some part of you knew deep down that you'd never be able to just have sex with no feelings and now you've been proven right.

Being around Eddie (even when the two of you argued) had your heart racing, flutters in your stomach and when it was just the two of you alone and wrapped up in each other, you felt peace.

Agony grips you because you know you can't admit how you feel to Eddie, he doesn't want you like that and the thought hurts your heart.

So, you'll stay quiet, he never has to know how you feel. It was better this way.

❤️

You were acting different and Eddie didn't know why, you were less annoying for one thing (even if deep down he thought you were cute when you were annoying him, he'd never admit it out loud)

They still argued but it was a lot less than they used to. Something that roused suspicion in your circle of friends.

"Did you both get replaced by aliens or something?" Dustin asks Eddie during movie night, he was suprised because you and Eddie were civil and didn't argue once.

No one could believe the two of them had done a complete 180 in how they treated each other.

Steve was the most suspicious and even though him and Steve got on a lot better, when it came to you or the kids Steve was very protective.

"You're not seeing each other then?" Steve asks as they wash up after a dnd game that Steve graciously hosted in his house.

Alarm fills Eddie, he shakes his head and dries the plates trying to avoid Steve's piercing look.

"No" he just manages to get out and Steve nods, was this the shovel talk? Eddie had never had one of these before? Or was it something else? Did Steve like you?

Jealousy claws at him, deep and visceral and he has to resist the urge to shout out that you were his. Not Steve's. Had to resist the urge to tell Steve to back off.

He's stunned at how intense the feelings are and is forced to admit that at some point in the last few weeks, he's grown attached to you. Grown to really fall for you.

"Do you like her or something?" he can't get the sharp tone out of his voice and Steve notices it too, sets down the dish he's cleaning and glares at Eddie.

"No but she's important to me. I like you man but if you hurt her? Then your ass is grass"

Eddie nods, briefing a sigh of relief as Steve's expression softens and normal chatter resumes between them.

Since then you've still been acting different and Eddie wonders if you're trying to distance yourself? Isn't prepared for the pain he feels at that thought.

Fuck, you really had stolen his heart hadn't you?

❤️

It's late at night, you're fast asleep beside Eddie and he cuddles closer to you, gently stroking your back as the feelings for you that he's tried to keep hidden spill out.

"You're so beautiful princess, being with you like this? It's the happiest I've ever been in so fucking long" he presses a kiss to your hair and sighs.

"I've fallen for you, really fallen for you but how can I tell you? I was such an asshole in the beginning. I told you this would just be physical.

''That came back to bite me on the ass because I've fallen in love with you and you deserve better, so much better than me sweetheart"

His heart aches as he thinks about when you will finally leave him. He's used to people leaving him, realising he wasn't worth it, his parents left. Couldn't be bothered with him so why would you?

"It will kill me inside when you leave sweetheart, I know you will and you'll find someone better and it will hurt so fucking much" he swallows, fights back tears and tries to calm himself down.

Your turn around, eyes fluttering open and you entwine your hands with Eddie. He swallows anxious when he see your awake. Fuck did you hear all of that?

"Princess..." he begins but you lean over and kiss him tenderly, heart full of love for him, happiness radiating from you that he's in love with you.

Even if he did tell you when he thought you were asleep.

"You're an idiot Eddie Munson. I don't want anyone else, there's no one better because you are perfect to me.

''I love you too Eddie but I've been so scared to tell you because I thought you didn't feel the same" the ache in Eddie's chest dissappears and he beams and kisses you.

"Guess we're both idiots huh?" he jokes and you giggle.

"Guess so. I'm not going anywhere Eddie. I'm afraid you're stuck with me babe"

Elation fills Eddie as you say this and he grins as you cuddle into his chest.

"The horror" he teases and he practically melts hearing your giggles and leans down to kiss you again.

Fin ❣️

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie smut

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purplegrapevines · 8 months

Text

You're Welcome, Cupcake

Pairing: Vi x fem!reader

Content: enemies to lovers, blood, physical attack (mentioned), fluff, suggestive

Word count: 681

You and Vi do not gem well.

You guys are in the same friend group, so even though you try, you can't avoid each other. Constant disputes and fighting, it's getting annoying for everyone else in your group.

You guys will take any chance you get to insult or annoy each other.

One day, you return home all bloodied from an attack in the Undercity.

Everyone rushes over to you and asks you questions about what happened, everyone except for Vi, who sits silent on the couch.

But you can feel her stares from feet away, you can see the slight worry in her expression when she sees the gash on your thigh.

After your friends finish helping you patch up your face, you tell them that you can bandage your thigh by yourself.

You take your pants off and sit on the counter of the bathroom, grabbing the alcohol from your kit. You gently pour it into a cotton pad and, slightly hesitantly, dab it into your wound.

You hiss and yank your hand away, not expecting it to sting that much. As you are about to try to clean your leg again, you hear knock on the bathroom door.

"Um, who is it?" you call.

"It's me," the voice says. Vi's voice.

"I'm cleaning my wound. Go use the other bathroom, I'll be out in a bit," you reply sharply.

"Can I... come in?"

"What? What do you need?"

"The wound on your leg looked pretty bad. If you need help, I can do it."

"I don't."

"Are you sure? Just let me see," Vi says.

"I've got it under control," you reply. Truth is, you don't. You can not bring the alcohol to touch your leg again.

After a couple seconds of silence, you realize that cleaning and wrapping your leg will be hard to do on your own. You would rather call your other friends to help, but they've probably gone to sleep by now.

"Vi?" you call, "Are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here," she responds.

"You can come in."

The doorknob slowly turns until Vi peeks her head out the doorframe. You suddenly become conscious of your lack of pants.

Vi doesn't seem to be fazed by it as walks towards you and takes a look at your leg.

"Do you need help?" she asks. I nod, pointing to the cotton pads an alcohol sitting next to the sink.

Vi wets some cotton with alcohol and begins to gently dab your wound. She slightly winces when she hears you hiss, but she doesn't remove her hand.

"Ow, Vi, can't you do it a bit gentler?" Vi doesn't say anything, but you feel her taps get slightly lighter. Wow, she actually listened. You didn't expect that.

"I'm done," Vi states.

"Oh, okay, thank you." Again, Vi doesn't respond. Instead, she reaches for the bandages and starts to unravel them.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I can do it myself-"

"It's fine." You don't protest anymore, letting her set the gauze on your wound.

Vi grabs under your thigh and begins to push your leg up.

"Hey- wait, what are you doing?"

"Well, I need to wrap it all the way around, so I need to lift it up."

Vi rests your ankle on her shoulder, as she still focuses intently on patching up your wound.

You turn away, hoping that she can't see you slightly red-faced from that unexpected action.

Vi expertly wraps the bandages around your thigh, probably getting the experience from wrapping her own hands.

"Alright, I'm done," Vi says, as she looks at you expectantly. You look into her gray eyes for a couple seconds, letting your awkward position sink in.

Oh shit. Your position.

You quickly bring your leg off her shoulder, and you feel my face get hot.

"I- thank you," I say, not looking her in the eye again, assuming she has some smug look on her face.

She takes my chin between her fingertips and turns it towards her. I was right, she looks very smug.

"You're welcome, Cupcake."

#vi x reader #vi fluff #arcane x reader #arcane fluff #enemies to lovers #vi arcane #vi x you #vi fanfic #vi league of legends #arcane #vi tag #fluff

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forestshadow-wolf · 5 months

Text

Gay banter (they're gay and they banter), wound care, unannounced family visits

Soap and ghost were on a mission in glasgow that ended up hoing south, and fast. Intel was shit, exfil is gone, safehouses are compromised.

Soap's bleeding from somewhere on his side, and quite possibly has a dislocated shoulder. Ghost for sure has a few broken ribs, and whatever else he's hiding.

They're on the run and after a while, once they think they've lost their tail, they stop in a convenience store.

The guy at the counter watches as they stumble in, collecting bandaids and butterfly strips, they even found a sewing kit, and some alcohol wipes to go with. Ghost goes to the fridges, grabs a couple bags of peas, and three bottles of water. They dump their items on the counter, and as the cashier is ringing them up Soap snags a sleeve of crackers and a roll of duct tape and puts them on the counter as well. He's distantly aware that he's making a mess on the floor.

Soap asks them for the direction to the bathroom, they pointed to the back corner behind them, and hands them a key. Soap throws them a thanks, and Ghost follows them to the bathroom.

He closes and locks the door behind them with a sigh. Ghost helps his remove his gear, tossing it in the corner, and sits him on the floor. He positions himself as soap's shoulder, and gives him one of his gloves.

"On three. Ready?" It's a courtesy ask, soap's aware of that, but he nods anyway.

"One." Soap breathes.

CRACK

Ghost reset his shoulder without any more warning than that. Soap groans in pain. Right bastard didn't even get to two, and soap tells him as much. Ghost shrugs unbothered, as he pulls the sewing kit, and the box of alcohol wipes closer.

Soap pulls the side of his shirt up, and Ghost pauses, inspecting the wound. Then he shoved the kit away, and pulled the butterfly strips to him.

"It's not too deep, I'll butterfly it for now." He hums, ripping open an alcohol wipe, and wiping the dirt and grime from away from the area. Soap would be lying if he said it didn't sting a little bit when the wipe got a little too close to the wound.

Then Ghost was ducking down to apply the strips. Soap tried not to let his breath hitch when he felt Ghost's breath ghost (heh) over his skin. The man, thankfully(?), interpreted it as pain, and whispered a quiet sorry. Soap swallowed.

"S'fine, how're your ribs feelin'?" Anything to distract him from how close Ghost was.

"Sore. I'll ice 'em."

"Want me to check, when you're done?" Ghost grunted an affirmative against his skin. It made his stomach tighten. "Lemme check your eyes too. Saw you get knocked in the head." He winced as Ghost pulled the edges of his wound closed a little too tightly.

"What, Think I can't take a little bump to the head, Johnny?" Soap can hear the grin on his face.

"S'exactly it, sir." Ghost poked him in the rib at that.

"Be nice, I'm injured." Ghost fake pouted as he finished putting the last strip on, and gently pressed a bandaid over top of them.

"yuh huh. let's get your gear of, ya big baby." soap rolled his eyes, beginning to undo buckles and straps, helping Ghost pull his vest off and dumping it with his own gear.

Ghost grabbed the hem of his hoodie, and yanked them up in one fell swoop. Soap's breath caught in his throat at the sight.

purpley-reds, and blackish-blues painted Ghost's skin just beneath the surface, covering a thick swathe of toned muscle with just enough fat to make him look plush. his eyes followed the faint river lines streamed out from the waist band of the man's jeans and just peaked out from beneath his shirt.

"think I'll live, doc?" Ghost huffed, startling him out of his stupor. Focus, MacTavish, you're helping the man, not ogling him. he shucked his own gloves, and brought a hand up to feel across the bruising patch of skin. he started at the first rib and worked his way up, applying gentle but firm pressure along each bone, front to back.

Ghost's breathing stuttered a little the further he worked his way into the bruises, and he let out a hiss under his breathe any time Soap hit a particularly tender spot. Soap suspected a few were fractured, and a ton more bruised, but he felt no unnatural shifting, so that was good. it meant none of them were broken, so at the very least they didn't have to worry about any punctured lungs.

"well they're not broken, so that's good." he said, standing up and grabbing his flashlight from his discarded vest. he did a quick pupil check, and finger follow. Ghost seemed to respond well enough and his eyes dilated the same, so while he couldn't totally rule out a concussion, he didn't think it was of too much concern if he did have one.

"how's it look?"

"well I got good news and bad news. good news, I'm ninety percent sure i know where we are and I can get us a place for the night. bad new is I think you'll live." soap grinned

"Oi, I could write you up for that."

"yeah? lookin' like a dishonorable discharge, sir?" he laughed, offering a hand to help the lieutenant up.

"exactly." Ghost said, taking his hand.

soap helps tape one of the bags of frozen peas to Ghost's ribs, and helps him back into his vest. Ghost helps him into his own vest, and affixes the other bag of frozen veggies to his shoulder. then they're limping out the bathroom and out the front door of the convenient store.

"think we can shim a car? it's kinda far to walk."

it's just their luck that they round the corner to find an unattended motorcycle sitting innocently alone.

soap's quick to hotwire the thing and jump on. Ghost mentions riding with a bad shoulder, but soap wins the argument by pointing out his ribs and the fact that he doesn't know where they're going. the man grumbles a reluctant agreement, then they're off, speeding down winding roads in the dead of night.

thirty minutes later soap's cutting the engine, and walking them up the driveway of a nice house, just outside the heart of glasgow. they dismount and soap raps quickly at the door. a light flicks on somewhere in the house, it's another minute before anything else happens.

"Mindy? its me." Soap calls, the door opens slowly. "sorry. didn't know where else to go, it'll just be for the night. please." soap suddenly feels the weight of his relief like a punch to the gut.

Mindy opens the door fully, and ushers them in. "just for the night." she says, leading them to what must be a spare bedroom. "need anything? help yourself to the kitchen, first aid's under the sink."

"Thank you, Mindy. I mean that."

she nods he head, exiting the room, closing the door behind her. the room, just a simple, full size bed, and an adjoining half-bath, was nice. quaint for lack of a better word.

"wanna fill me in?" Ghost asks, confusion coloring his voice.

"my sister, Mindy. does work like us, more local, and works private, it's dangerous. we had a... falling out a few years ago, but... we had an agreement before that. If either of us shows up at the other's doorstep, no questions asked, as long as is needed." soap supplies, leaving out the nitty-gritty details. "wasn't sure it still applied to me, but here we are." he shrugs.

might make a part 2

#ghost was not inspecting the wound. he was infact gay panicking #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #soap has a sister #el rambles

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harrysmimi · 2 years

Text

Professor

Synopsis: One where Harry pays for the consequences of ghosting the girl he was seeing for two months

More of my work

It was pretty late, but Harry was actually excited to finally get back in university and get his master's four years later!

It was his initial plan to do so but he kept putting it off as he was deep in debt, but now that's he's got his life back on track he was ready to get that masters because apparently the Management field looks for papers along with experience for better paying jobs. And honestly he hates his job as assistant to charted accountant now. Though he was already dreading this, his friends Niall and Liam were going with him, they were in the same Marketing and Business Law classes to put his anxious mind at ease.

Him and his friends would probably be the older of the demographic in the batch of this year, but who cares? He's there to learn and get that degree with his name slapped on it. Niall was coming over to pick him today as his car was in service for past one week.

"Oh, she's hot!" Niall commented the girl had seemed to heard it as she picked up her pace of walking, "hope she's in our class. She's got a marketing text book in her hand." He was apparently talking about this girl who just parked next to them and started running towards what he hoped to class.

Harry's heart skipped a beat when he saw her though. She looked awfully familiar to him. Shaking his head he proceeded to go to his first class which was Marketing Management.

The lecture hall was massive for the class strength to be of only 60 students, desks arranged in arranged in tiers to give the lecturer perfect view of the class. A projector set up for the lecture already. Harry and his friends had no other option than to sit on the very first desks, it would be pretty difficult of the trio as they've been the back benchers their whole life.

"Good morning class, I am sorry for being late to the class was about to begin ten minutes ago." The professor barged in with her text book and laptop and Harry almost shat his pants. "Settle down everyone, please." She waited for the class to get settled in their desired places.

"First day of academic year it's always exciting, isn't it? Then it all gets dreadful and by the end of the semester you're like "urgh! I can't wait to be done with this stuff!" but that won't be happening in my class, I'll try to not let that happen at least." The professor went on as she observed the class carefully starting from the very back, "let's start with introducing ourselves to the class, I'll start; I am YN YLN. I teach Marketing and Business Law, I've been teaching for four years now. I come from a family of professors, I mean even my great grand parents from my both parents side were teachers. That's something I like to brag about."

She smiled an adorable cheeky smile. She's really a ray of sunshine, Harry decided.

"Now you all don't have to feel pressured to introduce yourself though it is highly encouraged, if not we'll proceed with our first lesson today." She gave the class a moment.

Surprisingly many students stood up and talked about themselves, where they come from, what they like to do, and all the good stuff like that. The class was actually liking her that much even the shy ones tried to interract.

"Oh my god, she's definitely gonna hate me for calling her hot in the parking lot. She heard me!" Niall murmured to him.

But he's got way worse to deal with her. His professor.

Never in his life he thought he'd ever find himself in a situation like this, ever!

He met YN at the start of summer this year on a dating site. In all honesty he was just looking to get laid but for some reason he took it too far with her without telling her what he really wanted. Yes, he is an asshole for doing that, but he did not expected to have karma hit him this way.

Her dating profile was really what someone who was dating to get married would swipe right in a heartbeat. She was same age as him couple months younger even, she could cook (if anyone cared for that), she was well educated, and had a four year teaching experience at University — though the name of the university was not mentioned — she was a mum to an almost two year old boy.

Least to say he didn't wanted to hook up with her on the first date, she was just that sweet and humble. He just dropped her off to hers and asked if he could take her out for coffee and he did. He saw her over the weekend. Got laid as well. Led her on for five weeks straight. For the first time since he graduated he felt like wanting to get into a relationship, but she called off their date twice last minute because her son was severely sick.

Yeah! He totally feels awful for that. He knew she's a mother and he won't be on her first priority list probably for a very long time if he did not blew things up with her. He didn't even mind that she have a child in the beginning.

Maybe he got scared of the commitment? But she would have understood that as she had talked about getting stood up by dates for the reason, but also made it pretty clear in his opinion that she was looking for something serious if things led to other. He felt even more guilty. He just ghosted her.

And he was starting to like her, a lot. Seeing the way how she talked about her son in most subtle way, he found it very adorable and attractive in a way, she even paid all her mind when he talked about his own interests in his slow tone like he usually does which many find annoying. She had way too much patience to put up with him. She did come off as shy and introverted the whole time and not like as she is being in the class right now.

None of his friends knew he was seeing someone over the summer. That was the little down cor why Professor YLN had his heart running like a wild horse. He almost died when she finally noticed him as a sly smirk took over her pretty features making him sink in his seat like a melting ice cube of a burning iron skillet. He wanted to disappear. Throw himself against the wall.

"Anyone from the front desks? Very familiar faces from around the campus." She asked, eying him with a revenge being plotted in her mind. He is sure she's going to be petty with the look on her face like that. She even glared at Niall who commented on her earlier.

She proceeded with the first topic after two more introductions from the students. Honestly she was amazing at her job. Even more amazing than any of the teachers he's had his entire life (apart from his mother).

"Before we dismissed the class," YN said closing off the tabs on the projector for the class, "I just want to make you know that if you do not understand anything, you can feel free to ask away any of your doubts and please be free to give any feedbacks you have on my teaching methods, if I'm going too fast or too slow with the portion. I'm here to help. My office hours are from 3pm to 4.30pm, you can come in to get your doubts cleared if needed in the future."

"If you have any doubts from today's lecture, I'll be clearing those the first thing in the next class on Wednesday. From the next class onwards the first fifteen minutes would be to clear out any doubts and queries. And that will be all for today. Thank you so much for your time today. Hope you all have an amazing rest of the day." With that she dismissed the class, and left the hall.

"Move, move, move," Harry chanted getting up from his chair almost pushing Niall over who was had taken the aisle seat.

"Patience!" Niall stood up making a way for his friends who barged out like a racing car.

Harry ran straight to the bathroom and locked himself up in a stall as he threw up.

God he's going to have to put up with her for next six months. She's probably going to make his life hell in college. He's probably going to have to his arse off for her class. For a moment he thought he'd blackmail her if she tries to fail him but it won't work as he haven't seen her in a month and things came to an end before he even got accepted into this academic institution. His mind was racing with most stupid and fucked up possibilities as he emptied out the hearty breakfast he had this morning.

He finally got up and made his way out to wash his face but he felt like he was going to pass out if it weren't for Liam who came looking for him, he would have had fallen down and hit his head somewhere.

"You alright, mate?" Liam asked.

All it took was for him to shake his head. "Uhh, yeah!" He somehow pulled himself together.

"You want to go home? I'm sure none of the professors would be getting anything important done today." Liam suggested.

"No, no, I am fine." He shook his head again, washed his face and rinsed his mouth and drank some water Niall gave him.

He was going to have to put up with all this because he was so determined to prove his father wrong that he can actually do something with his life. He was still living in the same old studio flat since he moved out at the age of eighteen, now he's twenty-five, he works a job which pays him just enough to live on cheque go cheque. He had that pressure from his father because his sister was going amazing!

She had written three best selling books out there. She is doing so much better with her life than him. She was in a stable and healthy relationship. Had her own house, two cars. Even his step siblings were better than him in many aspects. But he's happy with what he has is always looked over at and he's compared to everyone who's figuratively doing much better than him at every family gathering.

He has even started to skip those now the best he can.

He went back home his cat Evie all tired and still feeling about shit he probably have put YN through. Even the cat reminded him of her now, Evie loved the girl more than him and she was over all for four times at his.

For fucks sake it was just a two months thing he shouldn't make a big deal out of it, man up and apologise to her.

And he did. He texted her, waited for an entire for reply just to remember she was really bad at texting, she admitted to it and that she preferred to talk on phone calls instead.

It was Tuesday night when he called her. It rang through twice but she didn't answer. He just tried to go to bed but he couldn't sleep all night. He wanted to drive upto her house but it would have it's own consequences if anyone from his class saw him. He did talked to many of his classmates on the first day who lived in the same area as hers.

On the Wednesday morning he got to know two his classes were cancelled for the day, which YN takes. That worried him because he saw on Tuesday on campus busy with her other classes. It took a text for him mum requesting him to take her to the hospital as she was having some sever allergic reactions, so he was more worried about that instead of dealing with the shit he had spread.

His mum was very sick to add to his worries, he drove her to the emergency room and waited for doctors to check on her outside. She was advised to stay there for the day and could go home in the evening if everything was under control with the medications she was given.

"You want me to get you something?" Harry asked.

"A bottle of water would be good," Anne nodded.

"I'll be back," he smiled, kissing her forehead he headed out. He had to walk all the way to the hospital canteen as there were no vending machines in this hospital which actually worked. He was already frustrated that he can to walk tem minutes to get his mother a bottle of water she needed. He can do no thing right!

"Can I get a black coffee with no sweetner and a bottle of water please?" He asked the cashier, already finishing for his wallet in his back pocket. He had to wait for his coffee so he took a seat at one of the table.

He decided to call YN again as he waited. She did answered it this time but a phone rang just behind him catching his attention.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hello, Harry if it is not anything urgent can I call you later?" She rushed in a murmur.

"Yeah, but are you okay?" He looked around to find her at the table just behind her, looking all tensed.

"Yes. I'll, I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay." He said and hung up.

He left her alone there, as she seemed to with a lady who reckoned to be her mother. He didn't wanted to bother her and he had his mother to worry about too.

......................................................................

It was the next morning he got a call back from YN just when he was about to text her again and go on to get ready for uni. His mum was doing good and was sent back home in the evening as expected.

"Hey, you needed any help that you called yesterday?" She asked, getting straight to the point, she sounded very tired on the other side of the call.

"Hi," he took in a deep breath, "ummm, I wanted to talk."

"If it's something related to class I don't know if I'll be help now, but I'll try my best, what is it?" She asked, politely.

"No, no it's not related to class. I, ehm, want to apologise for what I did." He said, "I shouldn't talk about this over a phone call, if we could meet?"

"I don't think that's a good idea now, Harry," she suggested, "and I can't see you right now. Whatever happened I'm just over it, you and I can move on from it and be professionals."

"You're going to forgive me that easily?" He asked. Hurt honestly that she's not going to hold anything against him because he truly believes he deserves that.

He heard a frustrated sigh from the other side, "I have got other things to worry about and what you did is honestly the least of my worries." She made it clear to him, "if you're worried I might fail you in either of your classes, I won't. I am not petty. You've got nothing to worry about just be good with your progress, I assure you will be treated as rest of the students." That hit him like a truck but with a whiff of cold air.

"I am not worried about that." Lie. A half lie. Or you can even a quarter lie. "I genuinely feel bad for ghosting you like that."

"And I forgive you for that, okay?" He was getting on her nerves now which was evident through her voice, "it's okay. Now if you're done, I have somewhere to go to."

"Yeah." He sounded before he heard the line go dead.

......................................................................

YN was miserable seeing her baby so sick. He had a surgery coming up this afternoon which had much higher rates of full recovery but it stung at her motherly heart that he even has to go through all of this.

He was born with atrial septal defect but doctors said it isn't fetal and he can live just normal. He basically had a tiny hole in his tiny heart. It wasn't until last month that he started getting sick and sick, that doctors suggested it was better to get the surgery done. Her insurance covered the costs of the surgery but the stay at hospital for next week was something she couldn't afford as she was paying off the rest of the loan for the house she lives in now.

Her parents weren't happy with having a baby, especially when she got knocked up by a random dude she hooked up with who refused to be involved with his life. She was going through her rebellious phase in college instead of going through it when she was teenager. Her parents being religious did not helped either when she decided she wanted to keep the child. They almost kicked her out and they did, but they came around sooner than she expected, helped her around until she got her life together. She is their only child.

YN was just so shocked when her dad called her one evening to give the house he bought for her to give her as a wedding present which he worked his whole life for. She was really grateful for that because she was really struggling with finances and raising a tiny human. Her parents do teach her lessons which are much needed but they're very supportive of her which she finds herself to be fortunate of.

She had no face to go ask for help from her parents now, her dad had given her everything, he bought her a house and furnished it for her, even her car was bought by him. She didn't tell them that her son has a condition since he was born, until her mother saw her at the hospital yesterday as she was there with her father to get her routine check up done. Least to say her father still loves her that he agreed to help her out in a heartbeat, though they've had a very rocky relationship from past almost three years.

The thing with Harry was least she can worry about. He was just a guy she met a few months ago. Her son was her life time commitment she made the moment she decided to keep her pregnancy. Which was definitely the best one she has made in her life.

She went to see her son who was resting in his room as the OT was being prepared for him. She didn't know how she was going to tell him what the doctors are going to do to him but she was going to try as the doctors have suggested it. A nursed was checking up on him as he had just woken up from his nap. He was a bit sleepy due to the medications or else he is usually tailing after her so she can drop him off at daycare so he can go play with his friends Justin and Sienna.

"How is my little Lion doing?" She asked, he was dressed in his Lion King PJs he threw a massive tantrum for in the middle of the store for, he was obsessed with the show for some reason.

"Mamma!" He whispered.

"He's doing great." The nurse said, "we'll take him to the OT in an hour."

"Yeah, thank you." YN nodded politely at the nurse as she left. "Did you had a good sleep?"

"Mhmm." He nodded pushing his hair away from his face, YN helped him with that. "Simba is there, Mamma look." He pointed at the wall art in his room.

"Yeah, you finally saw it." YN cooed.

"I wan, I wan go home." He looked at her with his big doe eyes, sad like a small puppy, he still stutters while talking even though his vocabulary for almost two year old much more advanced, YN found it adorable to say the least.

"We will go home soon, okay? I promise." She assured him, "do you want to cuddle?"

"Mhmm."

YN sat up on his bed, placing him in her lap careful of the IV on his arm. He immediately snuggled into her chest.

"When we goin' home?"

"Uhmmm, after you're feeling fully better." YN stuttered to answer him, "for that you know the doctor will have to operate on you so you can get better faster and we can go home."

"What is that?" He asked.

"That is a bit difficult for me to explain, my baby, but when you're sleeping the doctor will help your heart feel better so you can go play with Justin and Sienna." YN shared, "Mamma wants you to know that it is okay, I'm here with you, yeah?"

"Mhmm." He nodded, "I miss Daisy."

"Yeah, you miss her?" She cooed. Daisy was YN's Persian cat she has had since she was eighteen. "She said she misses you too, but she wants you to stay here."

"Why?" He whined.

"So you can get better to play with her too." YN reminded him, "you're feeling not well, right?"

"No well." The little boy shook his head.

"Yeah, she said she loves you and wants to play with you loads and loads when you get back home." She tried to hype her up the best she could. He's just two years old to say the most. "I love you."

"I love you." He repeated. "I wan ice cream please, Mamma."

"What else do you want?"

"A big Burger, please?" He chirped in excitement because she doesn't let him eat junk food as much as her friends let him.

"A big burger it is." She agreed using the same tone he used to describe the size of food he wants.

"I wan a lion toy." He demanded.

"You already have one." YN gasped.

"A big one!" He exclaimed the best he could lifting his free arm up to show his mother a size of a stuffed animal he desires. And proceeded to talk about all the animals he likes and randomly talking about food in between.

She wonders if he is going to be a zoologist when he grows up.

He did had a little breakdown, it was pretty obvious an almost two year old is going to be scared to be rolled on a stretcher by strangers to a scary looking room. But he did well. The surgery took three hours in total to be completed but it was a success and he was doing amazing!

"Your son is doing amazing, Ms. YLN." The doctor shared with her during the consultation after the surgery in his office, "he will be off the anesthesia by morning, we'll have to have him under observation for next five to six days — or less depending upon his recovery speed — before he can go home and have weekly check ins if needed for next six weeks."

"Oh okay," YN nodded, "thank you so much for your help doctor. I hope he wasn't too scared."

"He was but we talked about things he loves, he apparently loves animals a lot." Doctor shared the humourous moment with YN's son in the OT.

"Oh yeah, he does." She chuckled.

......................................................................

YN had to go back to work on the Monday as she could not take anymore leaves. Luckily her mother offered to stay at the hospital until she gets off.

She was dreading the office work she had to do, and she have to cover up the portion she missed for week as soon as humanly possible. First semesters usually tend to go faster for her for some reason. She had cut off her office hours for next couple of weeks now just so she can go back to her baby and have talk her ears off about a new animal documentary he watched with his Nani.

She was so grateful that her day came to an end at work, she still had to go home and pack a change of clothes for him and some food for her mother and herself. But he heard knock on her cabin, she saw the same frog face she was harbouring a massive crush on months ago. She wanted to smack that stupid of his when he ghosted though.

"Yes, Harry how may I help you?" She asked, gathering her stuff so she can work the time she gets when her is sleeping. He really had his notes printed in his hand.

"I have a doubt." He said, "do you mind if I come in?"

"Sure." She nodded. He's her student she's not going to ask him to leave when that's what she gets paid for. Turned out he genuinely had a doubt which she explained him in matter of ten minutes. "Is there anything else you meed help with?"

"No, that was all, thank you so much." He smiled. "Are you okay? Saw you at the hospital last week when I was there with my mum."

"I am fine, it was my son he's doing good now." She shared as she closed her laptop and put it back in her bag, "I will share the presentation on the classroom online do you can take notes from them, tell your friends about it too."

"I will," he nodded. "What happened to him if you don't mind me asking?"

"Actually I do mind." She smiled a forced thin lipped smile, "thank you for being concerned though."

"Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly looking down biting on his lip, "I'll take a leave now." With his head down he just left. YN instantly felt bad for talking to him like that.

......................................................................

It was three weeks later and YN's som was back home. He has been doing great and spending all his days with his grandma when his mum goes to work.

YN have finally gotten back on track with the portion she has missed on the days she took off. She had assigned the first assignments to her classes, and god it was going to be a hassle with double the queries coming in her way. She thought five classes including both UG and PG students and one extra class this semester as one of the professor is on a maternity leave.

"I clearly don't get paid enough for this!" She mumbled to herself as she frustratedly checked the first few assignments the students have turned in just to get over with.

Well, she get it. She was a student not too long ago and she is still studying for her PhD but this was atrocious how students actually treat their teachers. She had to turn all of the assignments back to the students with individual remarks on individual assignment.

Recently all she have been wanting to do is just spend time with her baby boy. But all she have to resort to from eight in the morning to six in the evening is just to look at his picture on her desk she recently put up on her mother's suggestion. The boy was doing amazingly, recovering faster than expected, getting back to starting to be active again and be his tiny human self.

YN was going to get him to get a hair cut in a long time now because he willingly asked for it this weekend. And he's been excited about it all week. It was also his second birthday.

YN had decided to go very lowkey on with the celebration unlike her and her father did for his first birthday. She doesn't want him to hurt himself because she knows how hyper he can get when around other children with adrenaline and run and jump around like there's no tomorrow. He still needs to be easy as he heals from a major surgery.

So it was just going to be him, his friends Justin and Sienna coming over for a play date later in the evening in the backyard. His Nana went over board and got him a slide and a swing set to add to plethora of his outdoor toys like a mini golf course and a basketball hoop he got on his first birthday. YN was going to take him out on a little date, buy him two new toys he wishes for and get a hair cut.

She had her day planned out with her baby, getting her all happy and giddy already.

And just when she is about to leave it was Harry coming to her office for yet another doubt. At this point she genuinely started to believe be never has any doubts because she sees him pay attention in class and she never speaks or asks questions, and he asks ber random questions like he did on their dates. He always manages to go to her office with doubts just when she's about to leave. YN finds it annoying because she figured he's always to everything and she thrives on time decipline since she was very young.

"I did not understand the Consumer behaviour." He said, not even bothering to hide his cheeky smirk as he walked in and took a seat on the chair in front of her desk, putting his half written notes on her desk.

"What do you not understand about it? I guess it have been repeated taught to business and management students for years." She reminded him.

"This is my first semester in college after four years of working as an accountant. I think my knowledge has been rusted a bit since." He explained. She took a look at his notes to know what he might have and not have understood. There was nothing but the title of today's lecture written with a black pen in block letters on an unruled page of the book.

"You have literally written nothing." She pointed.

"Exactly, my point." He shrugged.

"What did you not understand?" She asked.

"How does demand law come into play with consumer behaviour?" He asked.

"Because it is basically a behaviour." She said.

"How?"

"You know when prices go high the deman decline and that decline comes from customers desire for not wanting to spend that much on something and vice versa." She explained, hints of frustration now laced through her tones. "And that desire for not wanting to or wanting to buy a particular good is a behaviour by customers who are the consumers."

"Good, okay." He nodded, clicking his pen open, "can you repeat that, please?"

YN took in a deep breath and out, "I will explain this entire topic again, tomorrow morning the first thing in the class and I will be conducting a class test the very next day on the same. Now if you're done with your querie, my shift is already over."

"Hey, I'm sorry," he rushed chuckling, "now that your shift is over and you're no longer my professor, can I ask you something?"

"In premises of this campus, I am still your professor." She reminded him, "and Harry please I am begging you do not do something which both of us would have to regret and face consequences for. I have a son and I need this job."

"I won't, I promise. I just feel bad for—"

"I know you do and I told you I forgive you for that. Make peace with it and move on for gods sake?" She interrupted him. "So when we see each other again on Monday, we're nothing more than professor and student, okay?"

"Okay." He nodded as the dimples on his cheeks disappeared in instant. He just grabbed his book and his bag and left her office.

......................................................................

When YN got back home she couldn't help but shake the face of upset Harry off her sight.

She did started with her usual routine with asking her son clean his play area after she got freshen up and started preparing for dinner with him next to her. She had him fed, gave him his medications and tucked him in bed. She have now moved his bed to her room for the time being so she can keep an closer eye on her. She kissed him good night before she got into her own bed.

She went on to her phone after a very long time. Checking in on what her uni friends are upto now on Instagram. Most of them traveling for work whilst others were just having their own babies. When she stumbled upon stories of Harry.

She is still following him. Just when she was about to go to his profile and hit the unfollow button, she saw him partying with his friends. She recognised everyone from her class, especially the blonde named Hope, being inappropriate in the background as his two friends took shots. Least to say YN quickly unfollowed him immediately.

Yes, she fell for it quickly. She had a crush on him the moment she saw him on her phone screen really. It was her who had downloaded the dating app that one night, she's got no friends who would actually hype her to do so. All them are busy with their own shenanigans. Part it was pressure from her family and her extended family that she's unmarried and already has a kid and part of it was her loneliness.

She matched with couple of people she went on few dates on but none of them went further than one date until Harry. He actually did not judge her when she told him she's got a son even though she's his own age. She had many men and women just tell her that they're not interested in her after she'd casually mention about her son even though she had it mentioned on her profile.

Harry said he actually read that when she swiped right on her. The summer with him was amazing!

Especially when her son was spending much more time at her Nani's house as his cousins would be there. For the first time after having him she has that free time to actually give herself that much needed time. He actually seemed to care about her whenever with her, he'd even text her to check up on her but she is very bad with checking her texts.

......................................................................

The mother and son duo were dressed in matching black hoodies and jeans with boots as they headed out after a nice breakfast with Nana and Nani.

"Ohhh!" The little boy squealed a sound of amusement seeing the London Eye for the first time as they walked to the salon for his appointment. She was going to take him there the next day.

"Hello little lad," the guy who was going to cut his hair greeted him as he placed the boy on a chair and placed a cloak around his neck.

"You don't have to be afraid of the noises the machine would make, okay? It's not going to hurt." YN assured him. She explained the hair dresser how she wants her boy's hair to be cut.

For the longest YN did not understood why he had dark honey blond hair but later learned she had the same hair when she was born but her's darkened up before she turned one. His just decided to blond for a long time. All the while he sat there giggling and laughing, feeling ticklish from the buzz of the electric clippers.

"You like that?" YN asked once the hair cut was done.

"I love it!" He exclaimed raising his hands up in excitement to celebrate.

"Yeah? What do you say then?" YN suggested.

"Thank you." He looked at the hair dresser.

"You're welcome." The guy smiled.

Later the mother son duo went on shopping. They walked around the entire toy store.

"Mamma, I wan this!" The little boy hit at the box with a picture of a pretty blue doll house.

"Yeah, do you also want dolls to put in it?" She suggested.

"Mhmm." He nodded.

"Okay, lemme put that in our cart, okay?" She placed him in the seat on the shopping cart and strapped him before she put the choice of his toy in the cart. "Do you also want to get a few presents for your friends?"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

After they headed straight to parking lot and YN drove them to a restaurant for lunch. They were having an amazing day really. They went back home and wrapped the presents they got for his friends and put them in individual bags like a little hamper. YN remember this was something her parents did on her birthdays up until her eighteenth birthday. It was a nice gesture and who does like gifts. That really taught her growing up that the world really doesn't revolve around ber even though she was quite spoilt as a child.

She wants her son to learn that early, the feel of being grounded even though he's twice as spoilt by her parents.

The kids had amazing time playing their to exhaustion. YN's parents got along with Sienna's mother who held same interests in English and Hindi literature, talking about things she's never heard of. YN never read a novel in her life even though ber dad is an English professor and her mother is French and English professor. It was never her cup of tea which her dad like to tease her about.

"He's seem to be doing really great now." Alex, Justin's dad said.

"Yeah, Sienna missed her friend too, she was asking about him." Marie joined in.

"Yeah, he's doing very well." YN nodded admiring her son laughing and giggling with his friends from afar. He just turned two and he's got more friends than her. "He was talking about Justin and Sienna too. They've become best friends, haven't they?"

"Okay, maybe we should discard that conclusion for a while." YN mum stood up immediately watching the kids now starting to fight over something. The fight was resolved and they were back to playing again. "They're best friends again!"

......................................................................

Everyone came in for a nice dinner YN and her dad made today. The kiss still wanted to play but were promised another playdate tomorrow at Sienna's house the same time. YN parents stayed after to help her clean the mess the kids had made before leaving.

She bathed the boy and put him to bed before she headed down to get herself a glass wine. Though she wasn't a big fan of drinking even a glass of alcohol but she needed it after stressful couple of weeks. Just as she was about to pop open a new bottle of wine Alex gifted YN and Marie after he returned from his trip from Italy like six months ago. He said it was something fruity, like berries. Just as she was about to pop open the bottle there was a knock on the door. She peeped through the hole as she was alone at home and it has gotten quite late at night. It was Harry to her surprise.

"Hi," she said after she opened the door.

"Hi," he smiled, awkwardly, "came to talk if you have a moment."

"I, ehm, do you want to come in?" She asked already stepping aside so be can walk in. He nodded and walked in, took off his shoes by the door. He was immediately greeted by Daisy trying to trip over as he followed YN in to the living room. "Please sit, would you like me to get you something?" She proceeded to walk into kitchen where he followed her to.

"No, I'm good." He said, politely, yet she got him a glass of water. "I want to see you again, I am sorry for ghosting you like that. I shouldn't have knowing you wouldn't do that on purpose unless it was something serious."

"What did you thought?" She was confused.

"I thought you didn't wanted to see me," he admitted, "you used your son being sick as an excuse. I know that was very childish of me and I am really sorry for that."

"Even if you are sorry nothing can happen now, you're my student, I can't pursue a relationship with my student." She kept tone was as low as he could hear with frustrated and upset undertone, "I would never make an excuse. Especially my son being sick. Thank you for telling how low you think of me." Her vision started to het blurry with tears, she looked down quickly to pick up the wine opener and putting it in it's place, next was the bottle

"I don't think low of you, YN, don't say that." He stressed on defending himself.

"Heydar, my son was really sick, okay. I am not going to give you an explanation but that's how I felt when you said that." She shared, "that's what I feel like is the truth. He had an open heart surgery not even a month ago and he turned two just today, you knew I was going to put him first before anyone, even myself. You thought I'm that much of a coward that I'd lie about an innocent two year old boy being severely sick just to get out of the situation with you?"

"I get it, I am so sorry about that." He apologised again with his head hung low, "I never dated since I graduated — well not this once before — so it was a rollercoaster ride to be with you emotionally for me because those were the best two months I've ever spent in a very long fucking time. I just thought after we slept together that you didn't want to have to do anything with me. We became really good friends if not anything more and I ghosted you at the time you needed all the emotional support."

He talks slow but YN stood there listening to him. Carefully. "I want to fix this. Really. But I don't know how to. I want to fix this."

Harry's never been hung up on anyone. Especially since that one time where his friends conned him to basically go on a date and set him up so cleverly. He actually started getting along with that girl and after they both slept together for the first time she just told it on his face she doesn't want to go any further with him. It was worse than being ghosted he felt that time. YN's situation was worse here. He also knew that the pressure from his family to do better in his career had something to do with it that it scared him off from the commitment.

All those times she's just take out even fifteen minutes for him if her son was with her parents, she'd go to see him after work. He knew she was a professor but he didn't know she worked at the University he applied and got approved at. The way she'd go over evey little text he'd sent her through the day, every little meme which sort of reminded of him she'd carefully reply each one of them at the end of the day when she'd finally get the time to look at her phone, entertainment herself to clear her mind for a little before going to bed.

And YN wouldn't lie, she needed that emotional support if not financial support from her parents and she didn't exactly had good friends to rely onto for that. Her brown parents aren't exactly best at showing emotional affection or any affection at all, and she even felt guilty to ask for it because she's put them through hell her entire life being rebellious and especially after getting pregnant by a hook-up.

Though it wasn't anyone's business but the cultural environment she grew up liked to make it their business anyway, very much so that people started side eying her parents, especially her mother for her upbringing. Especially criticising them for having their daughter attend the Sex Ed classes for her own good before she was married, which allegedly influenced her to get pregnant with a strangers baby.

Her parents are long over it but she still carries that guilt with her.

Having a part of her go through a major procedure drained her mentally and emotionally. It is surely a bad time for her (she's certain it is going to pass), she knows no one is entitled to make her feel good mentally and emotionally but herself. So she didn't let the thing with Harry affect her that much, though she did cried the night after he didn't answer her texts.

"I don't know what you want me to do with it, Harry, I am quite confused here." She shared, "I know that I have been clear from the very first time we talked that I am looking for a long term commitment. I've got a son and I can't go out and date every other person and drag him through all of it and scar him emotionally and mentally for his life. I still don't know why you ghosted me like that. That can not be the only reason. I was so hurt that you led me on for two months just to sleep with me. You ignored me the night after I went over to yours and we had sex."

She took in a long breath to calm herself from crying in front of him, she didn't wanted that. "Then again. We were only seeing each other for mere two months. I don't know why I let myself go hurt me like that. It was just a summer fling for you."

"No, don't say that, please." He took a careful step over to the kitchen island separating them. "What I feel for you is still very real, I wouldn't say what we had was just a summer fling for me, I simply got scared of the commitment. I know should have conveyed that in a proper way like a decent human. I am really sorry for that. Please gimme a chance to fix this, YN?"

"So you're not scared of commitment anymore?" She sounded amused.

"I am not." He answered in a heartbeat. "I've got my shit together now. I know fucked up." When she didn't say anything it hit him that they can't technically date because she is her professor now, amd will be even if the semester is over and even after he graduates. "There's no way we can get back to where we left, isn't it?" He sighed.

"I don't know." She said.

"What about after the semester ends? It's not like we got to know each other on campus. We were seeing each other way before." He started brain storming.

"I don't want to talk about this." She said, knowing it is going to hurt her even more with faux convincing.

The university can still hold it against her saying that she should have informed them earlier if they get back together, it's been over a month and half since the academic year started.

She was still not over how he ghosted her. He was the first person she was open to be vulnerable enough to be share something that intimate after having a child. He did broke her heart that way badly.

"Mamma!" YN heard a high pitched call of a whine for her, she looked up to find her little boy going down the stairs slowly, clutching onto the railing. She rushed towards him even though he had quite master going down stairs by now.

"What's wrong, my love?" She cooed to him immediately scooping him up.

"I scared." He shared hiding in her chest, "I saw a monster when I sleeping."

"It's okay," she assured him, "it was not real. Monsters are not real."

"Scared!"

"Okay, okay, Mamma is here with you. You can go back to sleep."

"No!" He whined clutching onto her like his life depends on her in that moment, "I wan Mamma!"

"Okay, I'm here." She assured her and almost went upstairs forgetting Harry was there. But she went down as Heyder clung onto her like a baby koala, dozing back to sleep.

Harry saw her coming back downstairs, he saw her son for the first time here. He never saw his pictures before. But the little boy was wearing mismatched Rapunzel and Iron Man PJs, with a small stuffed bunny tucked in his grip.

"Just stay here for a moment." YN told him as she walked back into living room. She was there for solid ten minutes as her son refused to go back to sleep, so she gave him a sensory book which made car noises to play with as she went back to kitchen after telling him they have a guest over. Heyder tried mimicking the sound of an engine starting which made Harry giggle. He looked at YN and stopped immediately, the same neutral look on her features hasn't left yet but he thought she found it offending.

"Sorry." He cleared his throat.

"It's okay." She smiled herself hearing her son in the living room. He stood there in silence between them two with weird car noises in the back for what felt like ages before he decided he better take his ass out of her house. She isn't going to kick him out or ask him to leave. He isn't going to get his answer, at least not in that moment.

"Alright, see you tomorrow in class Ms. YLN." He smiled, earning a nod from her.

"I'll walk you to the door." She said and followed him out, "umm Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Just don't talk about this to anyone, not even your friends please?" She requested, "I can loose my job and you can get expelled if the word goes to the faculty in a wrong way."

"You're going to talk about this?" He asked.

"I will have to. I have no other choice." She admitted, "don't want to face bigger consequences later for this."

"Okay. I won't talk about this to anyone." He assured her. It gave him hope for reconciliation with her.

As they walked to her front door he saw the little lad trailing begin YN close by. Harry also noticed the balloon and decoration and big Happy Birthday banner in the living room still up, a few unopened presents left on the coffee table.

"It's still his birthday?" Harry asked.

"Mhmm." YN sounded.

"Can I wish him if you don't mind?" He asked, they were already at the door.

"Sure."

"Hiya," Harry looked at her son, bending down to make himself appear smaller, "Happy Birthday little lad." He shied away behind his mother smiling.

"What do you say, Heydar?" YN encouraged him.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

"Of course, darling." Harry chuckled seeing him forward his small hand for a handshake which he returned gladly. He finally took his leave and walked out. It was slightly awkward he wouldn't lie. YN shut the door after he left and locked it before turning to find her son still stood in his place.

"Let's get your bum-bum back in bed now!" She announced, the little boy squealed as he started running around. But she caught him scooping him up in her arms tickling his sides. "Do you want to sleep in Mamma's bed?"

"Mhmm." He nodded.

......................................................................

Months passed by, quicker for YN and slow like a turtle for Harry.

Though he's really gotten his shit together. Set firm boundaries with his parents who always tried to put pressure on him to do better and compare him to his sister who is conventionally more successful than him.

He doesn't care if he's got a partner to settle with. He doesn't care what people think of his job, he loves it!

Harry learned he's been hating his job just because of his parents constant pressures to get a better job, or at least beg his way for a promotion. Well he's been working in that firm for just two years, he left the previous company for their unethical work environment. He's sure he'll get a promotion sooner than he'd expect, his boss is very impressed by it. He learned it was better to not let his work consume his life whilst he still has time to live and enjoy the best he can really.

Somewhere YN was the one behind it all even if she didn't know it. Her little pieces of wisdom in class to her student for occasional motivation really changed his perspective on life. Corporate was fucked and will be fucked for the rest of the days, you just don't have to let it fuck you over and ruin your life. She'd never talked to him about them yet though he knows he had talked to her higher faculty. He doesn't know what they told her, she refused to say even a word about it. She'd prohibited him for visiting her house since.

Harry's sister Gemma and one of his cousin's lived on the same street as hers. His sister liked to have him over for meals because he does eat well according fo her and she likes to spend time with him. They grew up apart from each other after Harry started his middle school and both of them were sent to different bording schools for higher studies so, it was her way to make up for lost time with her baby brother. She truly loves him, Harry came to realise sooner.

He couldn't help but be hung up on this situation with YN. He still haven't gotten over her yet and seeing her everyday does little to nothing to help him.

But once the semester ended, he'd gotten a call from her to meet her up for lunch at the same resturant where they went for their first date. It was her treat she said, celebration of him passing the first of four semesters.

A rather bright weekend it was, clear sky and perfect weather as Harry drove down to this little restaurant. She was already there he noticed. He still doesn't know how she does this even though she's got a toddler of her own to look after. But he saw a little black stroller besides her with his sun cover zipped up and she was busy reading from the University handbook. Thay scared him.

Gathering all his courage Harry went to greet her, the small talk killing him as they ordered their food. Her telling how her son had a doctor's appointment earlier and she doesn't have anyone to look after him for a couple of hours so she had no choice but to bring him with her. Little boy was fast asleep anyway, Harry didn't mind a little toddler around him. Especially one as sweet and well behaved as Heydar.

"YN what is it? You never called me to meet you like this before," he said cutting to the chase, "it's making me anxious."

"Sorry." She mumbled, "I talked to my head of department about, about you and I, and ehm..." She stammered.

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" His enquiry gree more anxious.

"Yes." She rushed through a breath, "I explained it to her everything, Mrs. Davis, you might know her—"

"YN I'm not in your class anymore." He reminded her.

Caught. She couldn't look up, "okay, I explained it to her that we had been seeing each other since before and we never talked about you applying at my university. Since I didn't had any correlation with you getting approved in the uni, and I had to show her some proofs you can say."

"She said she'd evaluate everything because she doesn't want you to get expelled because you're an exceptional student and she doesn't want me to loose my job. She talked with the school board and they said it was okay." She said. Just her last word was enough to make Harry let out the breath he didn't know he was caught on. "But..."

"Why is where a but now?" His brows pinched together on his forehead.

"But they said they'd evaluate my non-biased judgement on you as your professor as it would be unfair for other students if I were to give the person I'm see a little extra help outside. That is why I asked you to not visit because there are many of my students who live in my neighborhood and new in institutions spread like wildfire." She continued, "they said I should just lay low until the semester is over unless you plan on taking any of the other classes I teach, or until you graduate. We both are going to be under strict eye, especially me as your professor."

"Is it illegal?" He asked.

"Not in the UK, no." She shook her head, "they said because we're of same age they don't see a problem of power imbalance, but there could be possibilities. They just want to protect their students."

He sat there, leaning his back on his seat as he let this all sink in. YN continued, "I understand if you don't want to have to continue us seeing each other, I had to tell them anyway. I know it's a lot to take in and I couldn't talk to you about this until now. I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologise." He rushed pushing himself up to sit on his chair, "I know how much you need this job, wouldn't do anything to put it at risk, I promise you that."

"Does this mean you're okay with this setting?" She hesitated to even assume.

"More than okay," he assured her, a toothie grin on his face showing off his front bunny teeth. "I've been hung up on you since little lad's birthday night. I was dying each day and seeing you all week for two hours didn't helped me one bit." He pulled his chair next to her careful to not knock the stroller in attempt to be closer to her, "I might have fallen for you already and easily it's amazingly the most insane thing I've gotten myself into. Let me make it up to you now that we've got ourselves a sort of green flag, yeah?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, opening her arms up so he can hug her. He the exact same wrapped his arms around her middle firmly.

They were going on a date soon!

N O T E:

1) just a fun one I wrote in a few sittings :)))

2) please do share your views in the comments and vote if you want to. It just really motivates me to write more.

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