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#i did in fact not retired from sad
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I made a playlist retiring from sad, but it did not work because these are some of the saddest songs I know.
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iamthepulta · 7 months
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Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better
@kkoraki Thanks for tagging! :3 Oh my GOD I forgot how many Marguerite O'Henry books we read independently. Every time I think of horse breeds I think of Justin Morgan and King of the Wind; and Misty of Chincoteague lives in my head rent free.
3 Ships You Like: Hmm. I really don't ship anymore, other than OCs. Fallen London is kind of bereft of in-game ships; it's all OC/game chars. Harvestar's Sunless Skies Amelia/Driver is awesome though. Maybe Paul/Chani in honor of Dune 2 coming out? So many fucking problems with that ship, lol. Hm. Jesper/Wylan from Six of Crows 'cause I can't think of another ship.
First Ship Ever: Jenna/Balto from Balto. :') Actually no, if we're going REALLY far back, it would've been adult!Napoleon/Nancy from the Napoleon movie 1995 which was my FIRST FORAY INTO FANFIC and I started looking online for 'places to post stories'. God, I forgot about that. If I'd been older when I was into Call of the Wild I probably would've shipped Dave/Buck. Listen. I had a very active imagination and was trapped indoors with a bunch of books. What do you want from me?
Last Song You Heard: Eastward of Eden by Amelia Day on repeat.
Favorite Childhood Book: Call of the Wild got banned to the box because I read it so much. :') Otherwise: Girl with the Silver Eyes, by Willo Roberts.
Currently Reading: Hoping to pick up Neverwhere this week!
Currently Watching: Mashle (anime)
Currently Consuming: Large Earl Grey, hot
Currently Craving: Something for Dinner ((I am not picky))
Tagging: @harvestar, @ardenrosegarden Keeping it short but if anyone else would like to do it, please do!!
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doux-amer · 2 years
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Imagine spending half a century with Barça. Imagine 25 years when you’re only 35. You only had ten years of your life where you weren’t playing for Barça and those ten years? You weren’t playing, sure, but you were a culé since birth. You were made a member of the club the day you were born. Your family is part of the club’s history; your grandfather is a former vice president. Blaugrana blood runs through your veins. And now you have to step away, and he’s stepped away before, but this is different. 
Lost it over Geri saying that if you love something so much, you learn that as you get old, the best thing to do is to let it go because of that love you have. 
Lost it over Geri saying, “I was born here and I will die here” and of course, OF COURSE, ending it with “Visca Barça.”
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dahliakbs · 4 months
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Retired Villain
(⁠ ๑Batfam X Reader - Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne and Tim Drakeノ⁠♡ ⁠)
Masterlist
╠You'd put your reckless lifestyle behind in favor of living a boring civilian life, knowing that you wouldn't get anywhere in life if you kept getting beaten up and sent to jail over and over like it was the only thing life had to offer.
You thought that putting your past behind you and creating yourself a fresh start would finally put the bats off your trail...
But sadly for you, it had only taken your cities vigilantes about two weeks to find out where you lived.
Even though they'd found out where you lived and how you'd decided to turn your life around they didn't believe it.
And instead of taking the information at face value they'd decided to check up on you in person.
And that they did.
Now you would've thought that they'd leave you alone after just the first few times but no, they'd started popping up everywhere. Using the excuse of your old atrocities to monitor you almost every waking moment of the day.
And when I say every I mean every.
Your at the supermarket, buying food like everyone else and Nightwing just randomly shows up out of nowhere. Bugging you and using the excuse of monitoring you to justify his presence.
"I know times are dire but stealing milk from the supermart?" you could see his outline in your peripheral, propping himself up against the fridge next to you.
He's shaking his head playfully before moving to take your cart away from you. You knew he was aware that you weren't gonna steal anything but apparently teasing you was his new favorite hobby.
"For the last time, I'm not stealing anything from this store" you huffed before dumping the carton of milk into the cart he'd taken from you.
"This store, so how about the next one?"
You could already feel the gray hairs sprouting, it was like he was sucking all the energy out of you and you could do nothing about it.
Well, at least he helped you with the shopping right?
While your on your way making your way to work one of the Robins will just mysteriously appear next to you, specifically the youngest one. Always giving off a clear air of distaste towards your entire being but still accompanying you on your way to work.
"Don't you have school kid?" you ask, it was like nine in the morning and he was casually walking next to you as if he didn't have somewhere to be right now.
"I don't need to go to school, besides I'm stuck monitoring criminals like you" he stated and you could already feel him drilling holes into the side of your head.
This kid really has no chill...
"Well if it makes you feel any better I also don't like having people watch me 24/7" you could feel your shoulders sag at the thought of having to put up with the bat and his tiny army of children.
Even when you were simply relaxing in your humble abode they'd still had the audacity come ruin your little alone time.
You were just relaxing in your pyjamas, munching on some popcorn and enjoying the fact that for once you were finally all by yourself when suddenly a figure hauls themselves over the edge of your window sill and crashes onto the floor of your apartment.
Of course your quick to push yourself off your couch and grab a weapon from the hidden compartment in your chair only to realize that your intruder was just another one of batman's minions.
"Red, you can't be serious" you immediately drop you weapon and walk over to his crumpled form.
He looked like he just went through hell, which was pretty sad since you knew he was just a kid on the inside but batman's sidekicks always seemed a little on the younger side.
"Are you crashing for the night?" He'd already done this before, always denying the fact that he was staying the night but always ends up staying anyway.
"No, I'm not" he muttered to himself, crumpling even more into himself but flinching when one of his wounds comes into contact with his detached gear.
"Right, your monitoring me" you played along, allowing him to believe that he was leaving anytime soon but you could already see his body relaxing it self.
"By the way, your crashing on the couch Tonight" you'd at least allow him to stay somewhere in your house, knowing that the supposed 'Batcave' that they always spoke about was somewhere on the other side of Gotham.
He should be lucky that he's your favorite, because ain't no way were you allowing any of the other bats anywhere near your house. Let alone inside of it.╣
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badjokesbyjeff · 1 year
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A man on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed.
They did this the following day and the day's after that, for a week, until the man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street.
Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Would you do me a favor? I would give you each a dollar, if you promise to come around and do your thing."
The boys were more than happy to accept this and continued to bang the bins.
After a few days, the man came out to meet them with a sad smile, and said, "This recession really is putting a dent in my income. From now on, I will pay you each 50 cents to continue."
The boys were unimpressed by this, but continued to do the same afternoon activities.
A few days later, the man approached them again and said, "Look, the recession has again reduced my income, so from now on, I am afraid I can only pay you 25 cents each."
The leader then exclaims angrily, "That's it? If you really think we are going to waste our time banging the bins for 25 cents each, you must be a fool. No way that's going to happen. We quit."
The man then enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
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velvet4510 · 6 months
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Here’s the thing.
Many Bagginshield shippers, especially in fics, focus on how Bilbo never got over Thorin, to the point where some describe Bilbo’s entire life as sad and empty and unfulfilled because of that loss.
Don’t get me wrong: I do agree that he suffered terrible loss and undeserved torment by the Ring. And the fact that he never married probably did have some connection to the memory of Thorin.
But, y’all, don’t forget or ignore the fact that, in Tolkien’s text, Bilbo does move on from grief and live the rest of his life well.
He does not become bitter from his pain. He retains his kind heart.
He is generous with his wealth, helping in every way he can the very community that ostracizes him.
He sees in Frodo a kindred spirit and takes it upon himself to be the parental figure that Frodo so badly needs as an orphan.
He and Frodo develop an uncle-nephew (really more like father-son) relationship built on trust, keeping no secrets from each other, to the level where he tells Frodo the truth about his encounter with Gollum. (And probably the truth about his feelings for Thorin, too.)
He and Frodo have so much fun, going for walks every day, studying the Elvish languages, and throwing big birthday parties to show the community a good time. It’s plain to see that caring for Frodo filled that massive void inside Bilbo, finally giving him someone to love and devote himself to looking after, after his first chance at that (albeit the first being a different kind of love) was taken from him.
He does not see himself as superior to the lower class despite his riches, and always treats the Gamgees with the utmost respect.
He teaches Sam to read and write.
He tells his story to the younger hobbits, inspiring more of them to want to learn more about the outside world and not be so sheltered and ignorant…an effort which ultimately saves Middle-earth because the Travelers learn from him to be curious and interested in the lands outside the Shire, and he inspires them daily, as they constantly say to themselves “if Bilbo could go there and back again despite great danger, so can we.”
He even learns to love having a tarnished reputation, ultimately taking advantage of being “mad” to play a fun prank.
When he is no longer at rest in the Shire, he gifts Frodo all his property which will ensure Frodo is set for life, and through all his passive aggressive gifts to his relatives, he gives the Gaffer genuinely useful items that he knows will help him, including ointment for creaky joints.
He gets a peaceful retirement among his Elven friends, which he spends writing his memoir so that future generations will know all about his lost friends.
And ultimately, he embraces the special gift of an exception from the Valar and rare permission to set foot in the Blessed Realm for one last adventure, where he will continue to look after his beloved nephew.
And the fact is, he never would’ve gotten any of these things if he’d stayed in Erebor. He would never have developed that special bond with Frodo - he may never have even met him - and consequently, Frodo may never have met Sam.
Yes, a lot of his life was lonely and somber. But much more of it, even after experiencing such a tragedy, was full of love and joy and fun and excitement. He became an invaluable caretaker and mentor to the next generation of hobbits, got a taste of fatherhood, passed on his expertise and his story, and spent his last years surrounded by friends and family.
Bilbo Baggins may have lost the love of his life, but he did not give up on life itself, and he lived a full one. Don’t forget that.
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honnelander · 11 months
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OK SO I HAVE THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I can't stop laughing imagining that scenario xdxdxdxdxd
Well, then imagine go fish! Sanji takes (Y/N) to meet Zeff and Zeff being the good father he is, "accidentally" spoils the tea in front of everyone because he is so done with the drama around.  😂 😂 😂 😂
UMMM OK I LOVE THISSS!! this technically won't be go fish!Sanji BUT my interpretation of Sanji will pretty much always be like that.
here's Zeff "accidentally" spilling the beans about Sanji's affections for reader: (i can't believe this blew up to like 3k words rip)
masterlist
Zeff wasn't stupid.
He's been around the block a couple of times in his life and when Sanji's semi-regular letters to him had shifted from casual life updates and started to be more and more about details and little interactions he had with you, some girl Zeff had never met before, well, it was easy for the head chef to put two and two together: Sanji was in love.
And he was in love with you.
Now, while Sanji might not technically be his son by birthright, there was no way he didn't consider Sanji to be his own living and breathing kin, especially after everything they've been through together, 'pedigree' rules be damned.
Zeff truly loved that boy. Throughout their time together, he had raised Sanji from being a snotty-nosed brat into the respectable man that he was today and, in Zeff's mind, part of being a respectable man included knowing how to treat a woman properly.
Ever since he was a young boy, Zeff could see that Sanji took a special liking towards girls and then young women. The retired captain had lost count of the number of times he had to berate Sanji into getting back to work and to leave the wooing for after dinner service and his own personal time, but the scoldings never stuck. Sanji would always be Sanji, and that meant the lad had an endless wandering eye and a sharp silver tongue, no matter what.
To say that Zeff was sad to see Sanji go with Luffy that day was an understatement, he was devastated, but he knew, ever since he had held a knife to his throat during their first encounter, that Sanji was meant for bigger things. For things bigger than cooking up the same old dinner specials every night and breaking up drunk pirate fights on the regular. Sanji was bigger than the Baratie, so when Luffy had made his infamous offer to his pseudo-son, a part of Zeff was relieved because that meant that Sanji could finally start living the life he was always meant to live, and that was one of a pirate.
Zeff had also made peace with the very real fact that he might never see or hear from Sanji again. He (and Sanji) knew all too well how quickly something could go from bad to worse to life-threatening in an instant out on the open ocean, and if Luffy was truly determined to find the one piece and have Sanji join his crew, then Zeff knew that seeing him off that day was probably the last time he would ever see his son alive.
So, imagine his surprise when he received his first letter from him.
At first, he thought it was a joke, that one of the line cooks in the kitchen was pulling a cruel prank on him by writing him a fake letter in Sanji's unmistakable handwriting, but when he finally ripped open the envelope and found out that yes, Sanji did, in fact, write him a letter, well... it had actually brought a tear to his eye.
From that point forward, Zeff found himself eagerly awaiting Sanji's letters. He loved to hear all about the outlandish adventures that crew seemed to always find themselves in and it made Zeff nostalgic for his days at sea. There was never any return address, since the crew was constantly on the move, and Zeff expected as such, so he could never send a reply but that didn't mean he wasn't grateful for each and every letter he received.
Zeff should've realized that something was up though when Sanji had first mentioned you in one of his letters. Sanji's letters would come every couple of months and they, surprisingly, never mentioned any young lass or any other pretty girl he would meet during an island visit unless it was a woman they had ended up fighting.
So, when Sanji had first mentioned you to him, saying how you were the newest straw hat to join the crew, Zeff had thought it was just business as usual. However, what wasn't 'just business as usual' was when the rest of the letter had turned into a little biography about you; where you were from, how old you were, what your home life was like, that you had also agreed that 'oregano was for savages', etc., and the letter ended up being nearly ten pages long.
Then, after your 'introduction' in Sanji's letters to him, you were practically the subject of them all going forward, each one getting longer than the last. Gone were the letters detailing Sanji's adventures, and in came the letters describing the interactions you two had or what topics had come up in your conversations with each other.
At first, Zeff thought it was just another one of Sanji's infatuations (the boy was a huge flirt after all) but when more and more details were provided, and the letters started becoming longer, it was obvious to Zeff that Sanji was in love with you.
And why didn't Sanji just admit his feelings to you? He had no clue. Maybe it was partially his fault too, since Zeff never remembered having that 'what to do when you truly love a girl' talk with him, but he had hoped that Sanji would eventually be fed up with all the back and forth between the both of you and finally just confess already, but that declaration of "I confessed my love to her and she reciprocated" line never was brought up in any of the letters.
And Zeff was feeling himself go crazy the longer this went on. The 'drama' that was occurring between you both was driving him nuts and he vowed that if he ever saw Sanji and the rest of the straw hat crew at the Baratie again, that he would confess Sanji's feelings towards you for him. I mean... someone had to.
Then one day his lucky day came.
"Zeff!" a voice called out from the top of the stairs one afternoon before the day's first dinner service, a voice that Zeff thought he would never hear again. "There you are, you old shitbag!"
Immediately, Zeff stopped talking to the wait staff, turning his body to look up at where he heard the voice come from, his hands on his hips, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing: there was Sanji, a huge smile on his face, standing with practically the same crew that he had waved goodbye to nearly two years ago.
"Oi! Sanji!" Zeff yelled out, his own disbelieving smile lighting up his face. "I never thought I'd see your ugly mug around here again."
Sanji laughed at that as he quickly bounded down the stairs, enveloping him in a bear hug. "That makes two of us!" He pulled back, his blue eyes lighting up in pure happiness as he quickly took Zeff in, patting him on the shoulder as he said, "And look at you, you practically look exactly the same as the day I left you."
As Zeff took in Sanji's appearance, he realized that he couldn't say the same about him. Sanji looked older, not in a bad way, but in a more mature way. He looked like he was growing into the man that he was always meant to be.
And Zeff couldn't have been more proud.
"Well, I can't say the same about you little eggplant. You look like a seasoned pirate to me." Both of them dropped their arms off of each other and Zeff put his hands back on his hips. "You keepin' your feet dry?"
Sanji mirrored his pose, a small laugh escaping his lips as he looked down for a second. "Yeah," he said and looked back up at Zeff, a knowing glint in his blue eyes. "Yeah, I am."
Zeff knew right then that everything with his son was alright. "Good."
"Hey, uh, I wanted to introduce you to someone," Sanji started, looking slightly bashful as he looked back down at the floor and put his hands in his pockets. "She's the-"
"Girl from the letters?" Zeff said with a small knowing smile, finding it endearing how his normally smooth-talking son was suddenly acting about this girl. If he didn't know any better, Sanji looked nervous (and Zeff knew he was).
At his words, Sanji's gaze immediately snapped up to meet Zeff's, his eyes becoming slightly wider, a hint of panic within them, as he quickly looked back towards the rest of his crew that had just started to make their way down the stairs and towards them.
"The newest member of our crew," Sanji emphasized loudly, letting out a fake laugh as he looked back at Zeff pointedly.
"Right," Zeff relented with a small disbelieving laugh of his own. "'Newest crewmember'. Got it."
And when Zeff turned his attention towards the straw hats, he immediately knew it was you before you even introduced yourself. Sure, you were the only new face in the small group of familiar faces, but he had to give credit to Sanji, he had definitely captured your looks and essence in his letters.
Zeff's smile widened. You were cute. From just by looking at you, he could tell you were a sweet and kind soul, it was no wonder Sanji loved you. You definitely looked like the type of person who would do all those things that Sanji had spoken about in his letters and he immediately approved of you. If Sanji had stood there and introduced you as his wife instead of 'his newest crewmember', he wouldn't have had any objections to that at all.
"Zeff, this is y/n," Sanji started, gesturing a hand out to you, Zeff noticing the way his son's eyes softened just by looking at you. "And, uh, you already know everyone else."
Zeff looked away from Sanji and down at you, seeing that you already had your hand out to shake his, a nervous smile plastered on your face.
He liked you.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Zeff, sir," you said, shaking his hand. "I've heard so much about you."
Now, even though Sanji had corrected him before about you, it didn't mean Zeff wasn't going to say anything.
"Aw, come on now, the pleasure is all mine little lass," Zeff replied, shaking your smaller hand with his bigger one. "It's nice to finally meet the girl that Sanji raves on about all the time."
From his peripheral, he could see Sanji stiffen.
Your eyes widened, your hand going limp in his as you asked, "Raves on about? Who, me? T-to you?"
Zeff's smile only grew wider and more cheeky. "Oh yeah, all the time," he said casually, as you both dropped hands. He placed his hands on his hips again and nodded towards his son. "You should see just how much of his letters are about you. It's like I get a damn novel every other month about your relationship," he joked.
"Zeff-" Sanji started but Zeff wasn't done.
He was on a roll and nothing was going to stop him. The more he spoke, however, the redder your face became.
"Oh yeah," the head chef continued, "from as much as Sanji talks about the two of you, I thought you two were in a relationship and said 'I love you' to each other already."
After he said that, the room got quiet. You stood there, completely frozen with wide eyes and a flushed face, like a deer in headlights, while Sanji stood as still as a statue. The rest of the straw hats stood quietly behind you three with varying looks of shock and awe on their faces at the display before them.
"Sanji," Luffy said, breaking the awkward silence first. "You love y/n?"
"Luffy!" Nami hissed.
"I knew it!" Usopp loudly and proudly declared, pointing a finger to the sky as he turned and laughed at the rest of the crew. "See, the great captain Usopp always knows the sparks of true love whenever he sees it," he said, hooking his thumbs at the top of his overalls with a grin.
Zoro snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. You wouldn't know what true love looked like even if it smacked you in the face."
"Says the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend," Usopp smugly retorted with a laugh.
Before Zoro could say anything back, Zeff spoke up. "Hey, straw hats," he called, grabbing their attention. "Why don't you lot come into the kitchen and sit at the chef's table? I'll have Patty and the rest of 'em cook you a couple of steaks however you want, on the house. I'll even throw in a couple of beers too."
"I'm in," Zoro said without missing a beat as he started making his way towards the kitchen, not needing to be asked twice.
"Ooo, free beers? Show captain Usopp the way, please," Usopp said, following Zoro through the kitchen doors.
At the mention of meat, Luffy immediately perked up and forgot about the situation before him. "Steaks? Would it be possible to have more than one?"
"Sure," Zeff agreed easily and nodded towards the kitchen. "Eat too many though and I'll have you back on dish duty again to pay your bill."
"Deal," Luffy quickly agreed and followed after his first mate and sharpshooter.
With a shared look, Nami and Zeff started making their way towards the kitchen together, both ignoring you and Sanji.
"How do you like your steak cooked Nami?" Zeff asked conversationally before disappearing behind the kitchen's double doors.
"Medium rare, actually," Nami replied and slipped in after him, leaving you and Sanji all alone in the dining room.
It was quiet for a solid minute, neither one of you moving or making a sound.
"So," you started, clearing your throat and looking over at Sanji. "You, uh... told Zeff about me?"
But Sanji couldn't look at you. In fact, he was looking at everywhere but you. His cheeks were flushed pink and the tips of his ears were red. He looked down at the ground with his hands on his hips.
"Yeah," he said, forcing out a slight laugh that sounded more painful than anything. "I, uh, told him a bit about you. Could you tell?" he asked, a hint of painful and playful sarcasm in his tone.
You couldn't help but laugh at his attempt at a joke. You could feel your heart start to race as you slowly took a couple of steps closer to him. "Yeah, I could tell," you replied playfully. "You really love me, Sanji?" you asked him softly after a beat.
Turning his head to the side, you could see a blush crawl up his neck. It was so cute, you don't think you've ever seen Sanji be this flustered or embarrassed before. "Uh, well," he stammered, "I-I didn't want you to find out like this. I had a plan and everything. But Zeff and his big mouth had to ruin-"
"Sanji," you said simply, cutting him off. "Look at me."
Before obeying your command, Sanji took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself for the inevitable letdown and rejection he was used to receiving from women throughout his life.
When he looked down at you and met your stare, his eyes were filled with apprehension. "Yes?"
You wanted to do nothing in that moment but quelch his fears. "Oh, just come here," you said.
In one swift motion, you grabbed him by his tie and pulled him down into a kiss, capturing his lips with your own. You felt him stiffen in surprise, but once it hit him that you were, indeed, kissing him, he immediately relaxed and put his hands on either side of your face, his fingers entangling themselves into your hair, deepening the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your mouth moving in sync as you felt butterflies erupt in your stomach.
Was this real life?
After a moment, you pulled apart, panting slightly for air. You both looked at each other, faces flushed, neither one of you expecting to share your first kiss in the middle of the empty Baratie dining room.
"I love you too."
The smile that broke out across Sanji's face was brighter than the sun. But before he could say anything, you both could hear Usopp yelling from inside the kitchen.
"Guys! They kissed! See, I told you they would!" He declared loudly before turning away from the small circular window. "Zoro and Nami, you each owe twenty berry! Come on, pay up!" he laughed like a high roller that just won big, making his way back into the kitchen.
At the sound of loud protesting and groaning coming from the kitchen, you giggled, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment.
"Oh god," you groaned.
"Aw come now, no need to be embarrassed, Madam," Sanji teased. "If they're placing bets on us, might as well give them a show to bet on, yeah?"
When you peeked up at him, you could see a mischievous glint in his eye as he scanned over your pretty face and back down to your lips before looking back into your eyes. His look made your heart skip a beat.
"Sounds like a plan to me," you answered with a small laugh before you pulled him back down to kiss him all over again.
taglist: @smolracoon25 @shadydeanmuffin @cherrypie5 @sauceonmyshorts @hhighkey @gimmebackmyskeeball @he4vens-ang3l @selcouthaesthetics @chexmixtrys @princettecharlie @amitydoodlez @abracarabbit @the-maladaptive-daydreamers @mischiefmanaged71 @asianfrustration13 @shuujin @nimtano @your-platonic-gay-lover @lovelymrvl @browneyedhufflepuff @stevenknightmarc @deserticwren
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dunmeshistash · 4 months
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Literally right after I saw one of ur Milsiril posts today I saw another person doing a Mithrun analysis with a huge focus on Milsiril only helping him bc of ulterior motives and it makes me sad :( She’s such a soft mum that would teach her children anything. If anything she’s less overbearing than my Chinese mother
What are the arguments? I don't really get what she gets from helping Mithrun. I guess the thing she would be able to get is making him fight the demon.
But like, she's no longer a canary and there isn't really much to hint that's what she wants. This is her part in Kabru's version
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My boy really fairy tale-fied his backstory, it just ends with "And from that point onward Mithrun lived only to slay demons. He ate even though he had no desire to eat. He lived on, even though he had no desire to live."
Which is objectively false, in this version it really seems like she lets him live cause he can still be used, but he can't.
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This doesn't really look like a killing machine that can be used to fight demons does it. Kabru as usual oversimplified what happened cause as he said "the world doesn't need to know personal things like that"
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Again with his timeline vs Kabru's
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Utaya started and ended while he was still recovering, 20 years from being saved to being appointed as a captain again. I know elves see time differently but even if we do the divided by 5 that's still the equivalent of 4 years of his life if he was a tallman. I don't think that's a negligible amount of time and honestly I'm happy Ryoko Kui considered that recovery from something so traumatic isn't fast or easy.
I said Milsiril only started to help with his rehabilitation after she retired because of this bit. "Mithrun. I saw a demon in Utaya" the situation from arrival to destruction was at most one year, I can't imagine she was able to leave in the middle of it just to visit Mithrun?
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So I always assumed she did it after retiring (perhaps one of the first things she did since she's still in canary uniform)
Even if she left in the middle the earliest this could have happened is 498 so at most from his 20 years of rehabilitation Milsiril was with him for 2. At the most.
To me her smile here is cause she's seeing a way to motivate him to eat
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Doesn't really look like someone sinister or with ulterior motives to me, she has her eyebrows slighty furrowed and a forced tight smile. To me it looks like she's worried. The other point is that right before this scene this is what she says
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Here she has a soft smile as she remembers that he was someone similar to her. I think she didn't kill him because she saw herself in him, and I think she tried to help him for a similar reason. "It was such a warped, convoluted place built from inferiority jealousy lies and anger" "We might have hit it off pretty well"
She isn't saying that to judge him she's saying that and acknowledging he was just like her. I don't think the fact she relates to him would have been set up right before she tries to motivate him to eat to show "ulterior motives".
If anything I think the ulterior motive she has is that she sees herself in him, and wants to help him to help herself. Which as 'ulterior motives' go I think it's fine.
Everytime I talk about Milsiril I end up with a huge text lmao, I think I might be repeating myself too but I wish I understood the arguments for a sinister Milsiril using Mithrun. I don't really see anything in the extras that could indicate that. And the biggest "proof" is a intentionally abridged version of Mithrun's backstory told by Kabru that ignores all of his interpersonal relationships in favor of a easy to understand cautionary tale.
Oh yeah, and Mithrun's bitchy past self that didn't trust or like anyone saying it,
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457 notes · View notes
libraryofloveletters · 6 months
Text
chapter nine: secrets come back to haunt
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Sebastian Vettel x Fem!Reader
Warnings: old faces return, seb's world is turned upside down, secrets are revealed, hidden relationship status so to speak, y/n is trying her best here, a bit of bashing, mentions of postpartum depression, a lot of back and forth, a small bit of crude/flirty humour from seb, dragging up the past, sadness - this is a really emo chapter sorry.
Word Count: 3.8k
Author’s Note: again, I'm sorry for disappearing. there's a lot going on lmao, but I'm back (for now) so take this :)
sugar and spice; all things nice masterlist
--
Sundays were reserved for racing, they always have been.
Since Sebastian was 3 years old, all he's known was the race track. He'd spend hours with his family, going round and round on the track until he was forced out of his kart. Even as a grown man, it was the same; fighting for race wins and championship titles, Sebastian Vettel found himself surrounded by mechanics, loud cars and screaming fans.
Sunday mornings were a bit different now.
The scent of oranges and peaches filled the air, the clattering of shopping cart wheels were a change in pace from the ones he was used to. Amelia tugged her father's hand, getting his attention.
"What about this one, papa?" She asked her dad, blonde curls unruly and framing her face. Sebastian looked at what she was showing him, an apple with no bruises or dents, and nods.
"Perfect."
Milly dropped the apple into the bag she was holding, looking for another one as her father watched her.
It was quiet in the store, a few people shopping as well as the workers chatting as they did their jobs. Sebastian's mind drifted to you as he watched Milly pick out apples. Never would he have envisioned his life this way after everything that happened; happy, content.
There was a feeling building in his chest, not one of happiness but as if he was being watched. He lived a normal life now that he's retired but it's not abnormal for him to be noticed. More often than not, the person would say hello and ask for a photo, then they're on their way.
Today, for some reason, Sebastian couldn't shake the feeling.
This was a bad feeling.
Sebastian tries to shake off the thought, thinking it was just his imagination playing tricks on him. But no matter where he went, that feeling stuck with him like a stubborn shadow.
Unable to shake it off, Seb glances over his shoulder and his heart stops, skips a beat, and drops to his stomach all in the matter of a second.
He wasn't certain if he was seeing right or if he was imagining things.
Brown hair cascaded over the woman's shoulders, her eyes scanning what was in front of her for a moment before she looked up - as if she felt him looking at her.
As he lived and breathed, he didn't think he'd ever see her again, let alone at the grocery store on a Sunday morning.
The woman smiles at him, Sebastian turns away and his attention is back on Amelia. "Sweetheart," he calls out to her, the little girl puts the bag with apples into the cart and looks at her dad.
"Hm?"
"We need to go," he grabs her hand and her brows furrow, confused by her father's sudden actions. "What? What's going on papa?" She asks, following her father as he walks towards the exit with her.
The shopping cart abandoned in the middle of the produce section, Milly's little legs moving as quick as they can as she follows her father out of the store.
"Papa," she calls out of him, the man helping her into the car.
"I think I left the oven on," he fibs, the concern on his face was enough to sell it. A small oh left her lips as he shuts the door and gets in himself, the two of them heading back to the house.
Sebastian lets her in, Milly stays by the front door as Sebastian walks to the kitchen. The girl follows behind her father, peeking from the doorway to see that the oven was in fact off.
"It's not on," she tells him, brows furrowed as they were before they left the store. Seb hums, shrugging. "Better safe than sorry, hm?"
She pouts, "can we go back to the store, papa? I wanna get cookies!"
"We're already home, love bug." He walks over to her, scooping her up in his arms. Sebastian twirls her around, her giggles settling his feelings - all the worries melting away. "How about we order something for lunch and then we can go over to y/n's? I'm sure Liv would love to make cookies with you."
She nods, a big grin on her face - granted a tooth or two that were missing. "Yeah!"
Sebastian puts her down, kissing the top of her head before she runs off to the living room, putting the tv on.
It takes Sebastian a minute to gather himself. All of the thoughts running wild and the most horrifying feeling passing through him when he saw her in the store today. A million different things happened at once and he wasn't sure what to do, or how to react, or if he should go up to her or not.
He couldn't think of putting Milly through that situation yet again, it was hard enough when she started growing up and asking for her.
The doorbell rings, and once again Sebastian is paralyzed with fear.
Fear of what's to come, what she could possibly want, what he would tell Milly if the situation were to escalade.
He never moved, the same house they started to build their life in was the same house she walked out of and never looked back. Why would she come back now?
There's a knock this time, small and gentle but loud enough for him to hear.
Walking to the door, he sees not one but two figures on the other side of the frosted panel. One taller and one smaller, he smiles when he realizes who it is.
"Hi Mr. Seb!" Liv smiled at the man, he smiled back at her. "Hi sweetheart, come in." He steps aside from her to come in and all the noise alerts Milly that someone was at the door.
"Hi Liv! Hi y/n!" The blonde girl waves to you, you wave back to her as she and Liv run upstairs to her room to play.
Sebastian pulls you into a hug after you shut the door, his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt - you're here, you're real, you're home.
"Are you okay?" Your question comes out quietly, your own fingers tangled in the unruly curls at the nape of his neck - you should remind him to get a haircut soon.
Sebastian hums, sighing as he lets you go. "I'm okay, just needed a hug." He says, now holding your hand as you two walk to the living room. He sits down, pulling you into his side and the sound of SpongeBob's laughter breaks the silence in the room.
Despite Seb assuring you that he's fine, you still felt as if he was hiding something from you. An arm stretched over the back of the couch, mindlessly twirling his hair.
"Seb?" You called.
"Yes honey?" He turns to look at you, a soft smile on his face.
"What's on your mind? You look.. tense."
"Nothing a good back rub won't fix," he says, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.
"Sebastian.." You rolled your eyes playfully but your tone was enough to let him know you weren't fond of his change in topic.
He takes a deep breath, his eyes shifty and his chest rising and falling as if he had just finished a race. "I uh.." he starts, taking another deep breath. "I saw Lilly."
Your brows furrow; it takes a moment for you to connect the dots but when you do, your jaw hangs open, looking at your boyfriend. "You saw.. Lilly?"
"Yeah." He says, nonchalantly.
"Where- um.. did she.. where did you see her?"
Seb sinks back into the cushions, looking at you. "She was at the grocery store. Mils and I were shopping and I felt someone staring at me. I turned around and there she was, alive and well."
"Did you talk to her? Did she come over to you guys?"
"No, I grabbed Milly and left before she got a chance too. I don't even know if she really registered that it was me or if she was just looking in my direction."
You nodded, going quiet for a moment. "Do you think.. maybe she'll come looking for you guys? I mean, I know you looked for her after she left but, did she ever try to reach out to you guys?"
"No, never. After she left, she never looked back. I searched for her, hired PIs, called her family, I did everything I could but she was gone. I don't know why she's back, I didn't care to find out."
You understood where he was coming from. You felt the same way about Olivia's father but after all, Sebastian is his own person with his own feelings.
"Maybe she's got her reasons, and like you said, maybe she didn't even register that it was you. Perhaps she's back for something that has nothing to do with you and Milly." You say, squeezing his shoulder softly.
Sebastian nods, leaning into your touch. The two of you sat there in silence for a bit, not bothering to change the cartoons Milly had left on until Sebastian stood, announcing that he was off to take a shower.
You left him in the living room, off to make yourself some tea when he hugs you from behind. His chin on your shoulder, "wanna join me?"
"Join you where? In the shower?"
"Yeah," he whispers, kissing your neck softly.
You roll your eyes, "keep it in your pants, Sebastian. We've got children upstairs."
"It's okay, we can use the bathroom down here, and they won't hear anything over the water."
You laughed, "how sweet of you to come up with a solution. Go shower, I'll see you after." You turn, giving him a kiss before sending him off his way - begrudgingly if you asked him.
As he disappeared up the stairs, you made yourself busy and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. You loved Sebastian but between his affinity for trying new things and his messiness, the kitchen was a disaster zone. Something resembling pancake mix sat almost empty on the counter and there was a stack of plates in the sink, utensils sticking out between them.
If you cleaned up a bit, the four of you could head out for an early dinner with the girls and perhaps catch a movie afterwards.
Hands covered in soapy water when the doorbell rings, you didn't think Sebastian was expecting anyone. Perhaps it was his parents coming for a visit or a neighbour seeking out something. There's a knock, yet a few seconds after the bell rings. Well they're rather impatient, you think.
"Coming!" You shouted, wiping your hands on the hand towel, slinging it over your shoulder as you made your way to the door.
Upon opening the door, you're met with a woman. Slender and tall, brown hair tossed over her shoulders and brown eyes to match. Her face shows an expression of confusion as she tries to look past you into the house.
"Hi, can I help you?" You asked, shifting slightly to block her view of the entryway.
She looks you up and down, before making eye contact with you. "I'm looking for Sebastian."
"Sebastian.." You trailed off, not 100% sure if she meant your Sebastian or just any random man off the street named Sebastian. Well after all, she probably meant your Sebastian as she was at his house.
"Vettel," she says, her brows furrowed and her face seems displeased with your answer. "Sebastian Vettel, does he live here?"
You aren't sure how you're supposed to handle this. What if she was some stalker? You're not gonna tell her yes.
"Can I ask why you're looking for him?" Yet again, you're met with a look of displeasure and annoyance.
"I'm Lilly, his wife."
Your heart drops to your stomach; his wife. It was obvious to the woman standing outside that you knew who she was now, that you knew Sebastian and clearly you weren't aware he was married.
"I- give me a moment." You tell her, shutting the door and heading up the stairs.
You find the bathroom door unlocked and Sebastian turns to see who came in, towel wrapped around his waist. He smiles when he sees you.
"What? Decided you wanted a piece of this after all?" He gestures to himself, making an obscene face while wiggling his eyebrows.
You shook your head, "she's downstairs."
"What? Who's downstairs?"
"Lilly. Lilly's downstairs. She's outside, looking for you. She also said-" You shook your head, sighing. "Never mind."
Sebastian gives you a look, getting dressed as quickly as he can. "What? What did she say?"
"She said she's your wife."
His forehead wrinkled, clearly confused. "We weren't married. Engaged, yes, but she left. I haven't thought about that in years."
There was more to the story, you didn't want to press him, at least not right now. "Okay," you nodded. "What do I tell her?"
"I'll deal with her," he says, stepping past you.
You follow him down the stairs, Sebastian heading towards the front door and you were off to the living room, feeling slightly out of place. He grabs your hand, "where are you going?"
"I don't-" "No, I want you with me." He says, holding your hand as he leads you back to the front door.
He takes a deep breath, opening the door to see Lilly there. You're stood in the doorway, door pulled half way shut behind you and Sebastian steps out onto the porch with Lilly.
"Hi honey," she says to Sebastian, her words laced with sweetness. You swallowed, watching the exchange between the two of them. Sebastian was a few feet away from her, "hello Lilly."
"So formal," she smiles at him, almost teasingly. He doesn't react. "How are you?"
He's straight to the point. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to see you, and Milly."
"Amelia," he corrects her, "you don't get to call her that."
"Why not?" She asks, "she's my daughter, Sebastian."
He can't help but scoff, shaking his head at the woman. "You can't call yourself her mother if you haven't been in her life, Lilly. You've been gone 6 years, do I need to remind you of that?"
Lilly's eyes widened, feigning a look of surprise - as if she wasn't expecting Sebastian to say that, as if he'd just let her walk back into their lives.
"What do you need? Money?" He asks her, unsure as to what her actual motive was.
"No," she shook her head, huffing. "I'm here to see my daughter, and you."
"You can't see her."
"Why not?" She fought back, stepping closer to him. Sebastian takes a step back. "I need to see her, Sebastian."
"I'm not letting you see her, Lilly. You walked out of our lives, out of her life and you don't get to walk back in just because you feel like you're ready to be a mother."
Lilly rolled her eyes at the man. "I am her mother."
"Only biologically."
There's a noise from behind you, all three of you turning to see what it was. Milly and Liv were coming down the stairs, looking for you and Seb. You glance at your boyfriend and he nods towards the girls, you take that as you sign to leave them and head inside. The door shut behind you, the silhouettes of the two people on the porch seen through the panel of frosted glass.
"Who's outside?" Liv asks you, the girls look towards you for an answer.
You fib, "just a neighbour, they needed Seb's help with something. How about a snack ?" You ushered them towards the kitchen, glancing over your shoulder to the door before walking away with the girls.
The brown haired woman looked through the panel, seeing you with the two girls. "Is that her? Milly?"
Seb glances to see the blonde girl sharing something with her best friend and he nods.
"So who's the woman? My replacement?" Lilly looks towards him for an answer. Her tone ignited an anger in him but he bites his tongue.
"She's not a replacement, you've been gone for 6 years. I'm allowed to move on with my life. Don't speak about her that way."
Lilly raised her eyebrows, yet again surprised by Sebastian's feistiness. "Is that so?"
"She's my girlfriend, have some respect. She's been in Milly's life long before that, treating her as if she was her own. She's more of a mother to her than you are."
"You have another woman raising my child?"
"You didn't raise her, so frankly I don't think you have a say in that. She's been nothing but good to Milly, she loves her and cares for her. She's a good influence, and never has she ever done anything to make anyone think otherwise."
Lilly asks the question he knew was coming; "Do you love her ?"
It was a simple question, really. He didn't even need to think about the answer. It was instinct.
"Yes, I do."
It goes quiet for a moment, Sebastian can see the hurt on Lilly's face. A part of him feels bad but he also shouldn't feel bad as it's not his fault they're in their situation, is it?
"Why are you really here, Lilly?"
"I told you," she starts, "I want to be a family, Seb. I want you and mil- Amelia," she corrects herself, "back. I want us to be together again. I know I left, but you have to see with me, it was so hard. You were never there, Seb. It was me and Amelia by ourselves, it's so hard caring for a baby, especially one that cried and screamed all night. I was restless and tired, and upset that you weren't there for me, I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't know what else to do."
It breaks Seb's heart to see her like this, after all she is Amelia's mother and once his fiancée, but it's not fair to him or to Amelia either.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I really am but I did the best I could, you have to understand my side of things too." He sighs. "I had a job, you knew how demanding it was, you knew I'd be away from home a lot. I didn't party, I didn't go on lavish trips with the team, I turned down events and brand ambassadors so I could have as much time as possible at home with you two. I tried, Lilly. You think I didn't want it to work? For us to be a family?"
She looks at him, it felt like it did 6 years ago, the two of them fighting over the things they can't change, the impossible circumstances in which life had dealt them.
"Had you told me you needed a break, that you needed to be alone for a bit, we would have figured it out but you didn't. You left, Lilly. Snuck off in the middle of the night without so much of a warning. I didn't know what else to do. I looked for you, for months, calling you, your family, begging for them to tell you to come home and you never did. I'm sorry but I can't let you walk back in after all of that. It's not only you that went through a rough time, so did we."
"We were engaged," she says, words coming out quietly. "Does that mean nothing to you?"
He looks at her, heart in his hands, the feeling weighing heavy on him. "No," he shakes his head, words just as soft and full of sorrow. "Not anymore."
She lets out a shaky breath, nodding. There's a feeling of despair, perhaps even disappointment lingering. The idea of what could have been, what life would have been like had she stayed, the good and the bad. Who's to know if they'd still be together after all of it if she had stayed or if they'd be on the same path they were on now.
That's the harsh reality of life.
"Tell her I love her," Lilly tells him, stepping off the porch. "I always have."
"I know," he nods, "she knows that too."
And with that, she's off. Much like the first time, yet so different. All the things that should have been said were out in the open and a weight was off of Sebastian.
He stepped back into the house as the girls were headed back upstairs. "What did the neighbour want, papa?" Milly asks her dad, her sweet face looking up at him.
"Nothing really, baby. Just needed my help to move something from the garage into their house."
She nods, she and Liv head back up to her room to play. Sebastian sees you leaning on the counter, arms folded over your chest as you watch him with your daughters. He smiles sweetly at the girls before making his way down the hallway to you.
"Everything okay?" You rub his back softly as the man collapses into you.
"Yeah," he whispers, holding you a little tighter. "Everything is okay."
"Has she left?" You let him go, he moves to stand beside you and mirrors your lean on the counter. "Mhm hm, I don't think she's coming back."
You hum, unsure what the right thing to say is. If you say good, it seems like you want her gone. If you say okay, it seems like you don't care. A hum is simple, an answer in itself.
Sebastian can see the wrinkles on your forehead, his finger pointed as he counts. "One, two, three, four.."
"What are you doing?"
"Counting your wrinkles," he says with a smile. You laugh, swatting his hand away. Sebastian pulls you into his side, an arm slung over your shoulder. "What's on your pretty ol' mind? Penny for your thoughts?"
"My thoughts cost more than a penny, Sebastian."
"Well, lucky for you y/n, money is no objective."
You give him a small smile, shifting to look at him. "Why did you never tell me you were engaged?"
He takes a moment, before shrugging. "It's not that I was hiding it from you but it was a long time ago, it's not something I like to talk about. It just reminds me of a bad time in my life, that's all."
It was a fair enough answer, you don't need to know everything about his life. He didn't know everything about your life.
He nudges your shoulder, "why? Do you have a secret engagement you're hiding from me?"
"Oops, did I forget to tell you?" You play a look of shock, a hand over your mouth. "The prince of Dubai and I are set to get married next weekend.
Sebastian smiles, "you know, I've met the prince of Dubai, he's a really nice guy. I think you'll be very happy in your marriage."
You laugh, swatting his arm. "I'm sure I will be."
---
taglist: @lighttsoutlewis @hc-dutch @laura-naruto-fan1998 @dubistweltmeistersv5 @kakorrhaphiphobia @myescapefromthislife @f1medlife  @charles-dimple @hockeyshmockey @handsupforamiracle @ads-skywalker-leclerc @anicega @ship-slut @bigdicric @mysticalnightenthusiast @ellalovesvettel  @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @coldheartedmar @koufaxx @alexander-hamilhoe @charlewiss @mistrose23 @mehrmonga @eclairmcqueen @consisedictionaryofmistakes  @nyenye @callsign-scully @molliemoo3 @like-fire-love-blog @agentstarkid @rose-tinted-juls @lynnismypseudonym @gagaga167  @dreamycloudsworld  @motorsp0rt @22yuki @renewing @pitconfirmbutton @anythingandeverything97   @gracesferrari @vitadimoda @woncloudie @raaaaabzzz  @lunnnix  @incontention @belledawnidk  @whore8io  @getourade @kickinganddriving @pretty-little-bunny382728
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merchelsea · 1 year
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just maybe - lewis hamilton
pairing: ex!lewis hamilton x fem!reader
summary: lewis misses what you used to be, and what a better way to show it than showing up, drunk, at your house?
author’s note: felt like writing lewis today because not enough people do!
word count: 1,1k
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you lay on your couch, your phone in hand, mindlessly scrolling through your Instagram feed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. you knew there wouldn't be anything new, but you couldn't help yourself. you had been in the same position all day, unable to shake off the melancholy that had settled over you.
it had all started because you wanted to watch a romantic movie, a harmless way to pass the time. but as the movie played on, you found yourself crying, wishing desperately for a happy ending like the one onscreen. you and lewis used to have those moments, those beautiful moments that now only existed in your memories.
every scene in the movie triggered a bittersweet memory. they weren't sad memories, per se, but the fact that they were over made them so. you decided it was time to stop torturing yourself, to stop watching movies that made you cry over your ex, and to simply wait for something to happen. but, of course, nothing did.
that is, until you heard a series of knocks on your door. you rushed to answer it, expecting it to be a friend or maybe your sister. but when you laid eyes on the familiar brown ones you had been crying over just hours ago, shock coursed through you.
"heeeeey," lewis slurred, clearly intoxicated. fate seemed to be playing a cruel prank on you.
you stared at him for a few moments before finally finding your voice. "what the heck are you doing here?" you asked, blocking his path from entering your home.
lewis smirked knowingly. "oh, didn't seb warn you?" he said, referring to his friend vettel, who must have sent you a message the moment he knew lewis was drunk and thinking about you.
because that's what happened when he got drunk. he'd think back to your relationship and regret every detail that had gone wrong. vettel always thought lewis would try to contact you, but he never had the courage to do it—until today.
lewis had qualified third in a race after a series of unfortunate events, finally giving him a shot at victory. but, unpredictably, he had to retire from the race on the first lap.
"I missed you." lewis confessed, leaning against your doorframe as if aware of how powerful those words were.
"you don't know what you're saying, lewis," you sighed. you had spent the last seven months dreaming of hearing those words from him, but this was not how you imagined it.
"oh, I know exactly what I'm saying. believe me," he insisted.
"you're drunk!" you retorted.
"and? that doesn't change the fact that I think about you all the time. about us. about what we used to be," he said, refusing to give up.
you stood there silently, thinking he would back off if you didn't give him a hint of what you were feeling. but of course he had other plans. you sighed and stepped back from the door, allowing lewis to enter. he leaned against the closed door, and you couldn't tear your eyes away from his.
"I miss you when I'm at the simulator, and you're not there to beat my ass. I miss you when I go to lunch and forget to eat because I'm distracted by your smile. I miss you when toto speaks german, and we don't make jokes about it. I miss you when I'm walking, and our legs aren't in sync. I miss you when I wear my hats, and you're not there to steal them. I miss you when I see a cat on the streets, and you don't try to convince me to adopt it. I miss you when Max wins, and you're not there to congratulate him."
you were rendered speechless. every word he uttered, as he gazed deeply into your eyes, pierced your heart. you couldn't look away, but you feared that if you continued to stare, you wouldn't be able to let him go.
"I know I seem drunk, but this is the most truthful thing I've said in, like, forever. it's been almost eight months, and I still miss you in everything I do," he finally stood up and, somehow, managed to get closer to you. "tell me you don't miss me, and I'll never bother you again."
you took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. it was clear he had been drinking, but not enough to make him drunk. his little play could fool everyone, but it would never fool you.
you knew you missed him with every fiber of your being, but you weren't sure if it was the right thing to say. maybe, just maybe, he needed to move on, to find someone else who fit into his life.
but then, a voice inside your head reminded you that if he hadn't moved on after seven months without any contact, he probably wouldn't after eight. you couldn't lie to him when he had been missing you relentlessly for seven months.
"I miss you when I'm doing laundry, and I don't find your shirt in the wrong basket. I miss you when I'm taking a shower and don't hear the pre-qualifying comments. I miss you when I see a Mercedes on the road. I miss you when I play uno with my friends, and you don't win. I miss you when you're racing, and I'm at home, but not because I have things to do. I miss you when I'm not missing you because of racing."
you also took a step closer to him. "then let me make you miss me the right way again, please."
as you stood there, locked in a moment of intense longing and emotion, you realized that maybe, just maybe, this was the moment you had been waiting for. lewis had come back, admitting his feelings, and you couldn't deny your own.
with tears welling up in your eyes, you took another step closer to him. in that moment, you both understood that some things were too strong to be denied or forgotten, no matter how much time had passed.
you whispered softly, "lewis, I'll miss you no matter what, so please make me miss you the right way."
lewis' eyes lit up with hope and joy, and he gently pulled you into his arms. as you embraced, you both knew that this was a chance to have a fresh start, to rebuild what you once had. it wouldn't be easy, and there were still obstacles to overcome, but you were both willing to try.
in that moment, as you held each other tightly, you realized that sometimes, fate had a way of bringing people back together, even when it seemed impossible. and maybe, just maybe, this was the happy ending you had been longing for all along.
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gilverrwrites · 9 months
Text
“If you will have me, I am yours.” 
Pairing: Human!Castiel/Fem!Reader (Season 9)
Reader has AFAB body parts & feminine pronouns' are used.
Plot: The reader is a retired hunter, who develops feeling for Cas after he moves in with her. After living in domestic bliss for a while, its only a matter of time before feelings are confessed, and sex is had.
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Please remember: to keep going, and keep growing.
Content: Rough/Kissing, blowjob, rough blowjob/face-fucking, vaginal fingering, p in v sex, dirty talk (Cas doesnt really have a filter) rough sex, swearing, accidental cuddling, intentional cuddling.
Rating: M/18+
Words: 3,377
Notice: The follow up: Takeout Tuesday is now available here.
Excerpt: You vaguely recall falling asleep around 40 minutes into a Capra film, but when and how you’d nestled yourself against your flatmate was a mystery. Despite your instinct to jerk away, you remain still when you feel his fingers brushing against your bare shoulder. Between the warmth of his skin on yours, and the soothing beat of his heart, you are soon lulled close to sleep once again. Until the sound of Cas’ low voice in your ear rouses you. “Are you awake?”  When you nod, he continues, “Is this okay?” You nod again, and quietly add, “This is wonderful.”
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Having Castiel around was pleasant, if a little surreal. You’d always considered him a friend, but it wasn’t the same. Previously you’d only really been around each other on the hunt. Or if Cas was involved, more like stopping an apocalypse. Your relationship had been entirely based on proximity, and necessity. There was never really time to bond beyond that. Until now. 
You’d decided to attempt retirement a while ago. You’d found a job and started subletting a decent apartment from a friend of a friend, on the preface that they could still crash on the couch when travelling across country. The hunting trade was a small world after all. 
In fact, your new landlord was exactly who you’d expected to see when someone came knocking on your door in the middle of the night. Not a tired, bloodied, and bruised Angel. Confused, you’d let him in, patched his wounds, cleaned him up, and let him sleep it off in your bed. After almost 48 hours of continuous sleep, he’d explained everything to you, thanked you for your hospitality, and told you he’d be out of your hair soon. You’d assertively informed him that the only place he would be going is from your bed, to your couch. 
From there you easily fell into a routine together, effortlessly bonded over shared experiences, old and new. It was nice, seeing his toothbrush next to yours, bringing home his favourite takeout every Tuesday. When he worked the early shift, he’d always make you a coffee before he left, on the late shifts he’d bring home a bottle of your favourite. He did the dishes, and you did the laundry. You were a secure little domestic team.
The surrealness came when you realised just how much you enjoyed it. You welled up with pride whenever he complimented something you’d cooked him from scratch. Starting your morning in his presence calmed any nerves, and on stressful days, coming home to dinner and a film with Cas was your respite. 
You were confused by the bitterness you felt when he called you one night to say he would be home late, citing a date with his boss, Nora. You were truly sad, but relieved when he informed you he had misread the invitation. That he was actually there to babysit. That’s when it hit you. Somewhere along the way, in between all the household chores, and the late-night Hulu binging, you’d fallen for him. 
You’d always thought he was hot, ever since he’d introduced himself as ‘Castiel, an Angel of the Lord’ all those years ago. However, you no longer needed to accidentally catch him leaving the shower, or bending under a table to feel flushed. Ever since the figurative penny dropped, all it took was a smile, or the brush of your chests in a tight hall to make you blush. 
Thoughts of Castiel and your myriad of complex feelings now plagued you, particularly as you lay in bed at night, knowing he was only feet away from you, just on the other side of your paper-thin walls. Paper-thin walls that did nothing to protect you from the sudden and deafeningly loud sound of the TV at 2AM. 
Not bothering to throw on bottoms, you stumble to your bedroom door in just a camisole and panties. The sight of Cas sitting on the couch, clad in nothing but boxers, desperately fiddling with the remote in an attempt to turn down the volume greeted you upon entry to the living room. 
Upon noticing you, Cas drops the remote and hastily reaches for his discarded comforter to cover himself with. In turn you rotated your entire body, averting your gaze in favour of the wall, primarily to respect his privacy, secondarily to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks. 
“I’m so sorry!” You blurt.
“It’s okay.” He responds quietly. “I’m sorry for the noise. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you.” 
“It’s okay.” You repeat back to him. “I was awake, I couldn’t sleep either. You just made me jump.” 
“You can look now.” He informs you. Hoping the dim light from the TV doesn’t reveal too much of the colour in your face, you spin back. He was now covered from the waist down, but you couldn’t help noticing his bare chest, particularly the definition between his pecs, and the sharpness of his collarbones.
“I guess I’ll leave you to it.” You say, trying to re-direct your eyes to any other part of the room. 
“Unless…” He gestures to the television. “Would you care to join me?” 
“Sure.” You answer hesitantly. You weren’t sleeping anyway, what was the worst that could happen?
Castiel smiles amiably at you before returning his attention to the remote. You linger in your spot as he begins flicking through the different apps. When he makes no effort to locate and put on trousers you slowly settle down next to him, careful to leave enough distance to prevent any accidental skin-on-skin contact. 
“So, what are we watching?” 
 ————-
You vaguely recall falling asleep around 40 minutes into a Capra film, but when and how you’d nestled yourself against your flatmate was a mystery. Despite your instinct to jerk away, you remain still when you feel his fingers brushing against your bare shoulder. Between the warmth of his skin on yours, and the soothing beat of his heart, you are soon lulled close to sleep once again. Until the sound of Cas’ low voice in your ear rouses you. “Are you awake?” 
When you nod, he continues, “Is this okay?”
You nod again, and quietly add, “This is wonderful.”
You can’t see his expression from your current position, but he exhales, and you think he sounds relieved. 
It could be the scarcity of sleep, a ‘mind after midnight’ mirage, but this is when it occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he could be interested in you too. Why else would be lying beneath you, half-naked and seemingly completely at ease? Doubtful that you’d ever have this courage again you tilt your head up to look at him and ask; “Do you ever think about us?”
“I do.” He responds, he looks perplexed, which admittedly was his default expression.
“Do you ever think about us, as more than this?” When he doesn’t immediately answer, you resume. “You know, like romantically? Or even intimately?” 
“I frequently think of you amorously.” He speaks tentatively, each word spoken very deliberately. “When Metatron took my grace from me, I never imagined that this was how my life would go. Of course, I never thought that my grace would be taken, or that I would live among humans as one of them in the first place.”
He seems to take a moment to compile his thoughts, sucking his bottom lip in concentration. You remain silent. Hoping he can’t feel the rapid thrum of your heart.
“I thought at first that I was broken. The fall, losing my wings was bad enough, but now, without my angelic abilities, I can’t do anything. Well, nothing of merit, at least where the needs of humankind are concerned.”
“That’s not true.” You interject, you move to sit up, to be at eye level with him, but due to your already precarious position, the only way to do so is by shifting a leg over his lap, thus straddling him.
“I know that now.” He says as he grips your wrists and brings them to his shoulders, offering you extra support. “Without meaning to overstep, or make you uncomfortable, but living with- existing beside you has been a far more fulfilling experience than most of the things I have accomplished in the many billions of years I have existed.
I have very little practice in the ways of human sexuality, and even less so with courtship. However, I would be honoured, and extremely happy if you would allow me to explore such things, with you.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“If you will have me, I am yours.” 
There's a tense moment of silence between you both in which neither of you dare to break eye contact before you surge to him. You instigate the kiss, but Cas is fast to take control, his arms pull your body to him, driving your lips to press hard against his. When he rocks his hips up, kneading his semi-hard cock against your clothed core, you gasp. Cas immediately slips his tongue between your lips. You can’t hold back the groan that escapes you. His mouth tastes like coffee and artificial grape. You savour the feel and aroma of his lips before pulling back momentarily. 
“Only if I can be yours too.” You finally respond before he’s on you again. You freely open up for him, allowing him to explore your mouth once more. His tongue eagerly swirls against yours, exploring every crevice. His hands drop to clutch your waist, holding you in place as he ruts against you from below. 
It was you who broke the kiss again, locking your eyes with him as you climb off his lap. 
“Let me take care of you.” You chime as you drop to your knees on the floor below him. Cas quickly follows, sitting up straight, and planting his legs on either side of you. The comforter banished to the other end of the sofa.  
“You… You look so beautiful like that. On your knees.” He smiles down at you and reaches out to cup your face, strong fingers gently brush along your jaw before his thumb extends up to your lips. You press a kiss to its pad before parting your lips and taking him in. His skin tastes clean, with a hint of salt, and something florally. 
“Let me suck your cock.” You state, voice muffled by the pressure on your tongue.
His cheeks are tinted pink. You’re unsure if it's from arousal or nerves but he stands to pull off his boxers and settles back down. You can’t help but lick your lips when his cock is revealed, it's long and already hard. 
You don’t waste any time, immediately situating your tongue on the underside of his shaft and running it from tip to hilt. You stop momentarily to plant a kiss on his balls, before running back up his length. When you look back up Cas is watching you intensely, brow furrowed, lids heavy, lips between his teeth. You smile before wrapping your mouth around his cock. Pausing only slightly when you feel Cas cup the back of your head. 
You inch yourself down his length slowly, getting a feel for him, his thickness, and how much you can take at once. When you feel his tip hit the back of your throat, you pull back, before bobbing back down. The sound of Castiel’s’ hitched breathing drives you until you’re relaxed enough to take him completely. His thickness stretches your throat, making your eyes water, his pubic hair tickles your nose, and the look of bliss on his face makes your pussy drip. 
After a few seconds, you come back up for air, but the relief in your lungs only lasts a second before you feel Cas’ fists tighten against your scalp. 
“You look even better with my cock in your mouth.” He grunts as he pushes you back down. “You feel so good.”
Unable to respond, you hum your affirmation, drool escaping the corners of your mouth. Cas moans his approval, eyes and head lolling back for a moment before he plants his other hand firmly on the back of your head, holding you in place as he shifts to the edge of the couch and begins bucking his hips into your mouth. 
You plant your hands around his calves to steady yourself, and keep them out of the way as he continues to use your mouth. His thrusts grow heavier, his moans raspier, as you fight your need for air. Your cunt growing hotter, wetter every second, while your throat closes, and your head grows dizzy from the lack of air.
When he finally lets you go, your lungs are burning. You lean back, unable to control the wild rise and fall of your chest as you pant for air. Your lips feel sore, swollen, but your pussy aches. 
“I’m sorry.” Cas reaches over to cradle your face, tentatively brushing the tears from your eyes. “Was that too much?” 
“No! No not at all.” You whisper between breaths. You reach out for his hand, and he takes it. His head tilts to one side as he looks down at you sceptically. You smile back as you guide him between your legs. You brush his fingers against your panties, encouraging him to feel the wetness soaking through the fabric.
“I did that? I made you this wet?” He asks. When you nod his mouth cracks into a smile.
Within seconds he drops to his knees before you, pulling you in for another hot, open-mouthed kiss. Your tongues meet in another fierce, uncontrolled kiss. You cry out into his mouth when you feel his fingers press firmly against your clit, rubbing you through the thin fabric of your underwear.
Without warning Cas clutches onto your panties and pulls until the elastic snaps. He releases the offending article and quickly returns to your wetness. He strokes your clit repeatedly, swallowing your moans, holding you to his chest to prevent you from involuntarily withering away.
You break your lips away from his just long enough to plead; “Fuck me Cas, please fuck me with your fingers.”
He doesn’t hesitate to do as asked, immediately delving two fingers into your pussy. Once situated inside, he massages them against your walls, feeling you out and making you sputter. You grip his shoulders for support, digging your nails into his skin as he starts to thrust in and out of you.
“Like this?” He questions, you’re not sure if he’s being coy, if he’s teasing. Or if he truly is curious. Either way, you’re too gone to really answer. You open your mouth but all that comes out are a series of strangled whimpers. The feel of his thumb returning to your clit, gently brushing just the right spot, pushes you to breaking point. 
“I’m- I – ahhh.” You cry, trying to warn him. When you jerk your head back there is resistance. Cas releases his hold on your back, to grips your head forward. You peek up at him through half-lidded eyes, Cas stares, his blue eyes bare down on you, unblinking. If you weren’t already cumming, that would have been enough. 
You lean into Castiel’s body as you come back down, limp, and incoherent. A low hum escapes you as Cas languidly removes his fingers from inside you and brings them to his lips. You watch lazily as he gives them a tentative sniff before placing them in his mouth. His face seems to melt, and he closes his eyes, visibly savouring the taste. 
When he’s done, he grins at you and ponders aloud; “I’m not sure which is better.”
Still unable to string two words together you watch him, waiting for him to continue.
“The way you look when you reach orgasm, or the way you taste.” 
Instantly your cheeks begin to burn, and heat pools between your legs again. Without a second thought you reach down, grabbing your cami by the hem and lifting it over your head, your entire body now exposed to Castiel. 
He’s on you again in an instant. His mouth latches to one of your nipples, rapidly but lightly his tongue darts over the sensitive nip. Both hands come up to cup each breast. His fingers pinch and roll at your other exposed nipple. When you feel his teeth grazing the sensitive skin you flinch, fisting your hands into his hair. 
“Cas, please!” You gasp.
“Please what?” He responds, speech distorted by his refusal to remove his mouth from your body. 
“Please take me to bed.” You whine, needlessly pulling at his hair to garner his attention. “Please Castiel, take me to bed-”
You’re interrupted by the jolt of your body being lifted. Cas continues his oral assault, kissing, sucking, nipping at your neck as he carries you back to your bed. He sits himself on the edge of your bed and positions you to straddle him once again. You pull his attention back from your neck, sinking your lips onto his as you guide him down, until he’s lying face up.
You lean back and he sucks in a breath as you wrap your hand around the base of his cock. You line him up at your entrance and he begins gradually rocking into you. You steadily sink down, the feel of his cock stretching you out making you shudder. Cas’s head rolls back, he bites his lip and grips your hips, barely fighting not to slam you down onto him.
When his cock is fully inside, you pull back up until only the tip remains inside before you drop back onto him.
With a loud moan, Cas engulfs your body with his own and flips you over. He holds you beneath him with the weight of his own body as he gives a few shallow, testing thrusts. Satisfied he begins building pace and force, until the sound of skin slapping against skin can be heard between ragged breaths and moans. You raise your lower body, trying to match his rhythm but his hands lock onto your hips and push them down, pinning you to the bed.
His lips are tight between his teeth, his brow furrowed, and his skin glows with a sheen of sweat. You can’t help but paw at his shoulders, bringing him down so you can plant kisses on his face and neck.
“Cas, fuck. Castiel that feels so good.” You praise.
In response, he catches your lips in a desperate kiss, all tongues and teeth and jumbled sounds that may once have been words. Your toes begin to curl, as your climax grows near. You lock your fingers in Castiel's hair, pulling his face away as you arch your back. Your eyes close tight as you chant his name.
“I love it when you moan my name.” He murmurs in your ear. He releases your hips, and grips your face, forcing it back up. Your eyes peek open as growls his next words. “Look at me, and don’t stop saying my name.”
At that, the tension in your cunt snaps. Your body jerks and your walls clench around him as you hit your climax. Castiel rides you through it, his strides slowing, but he continues fucking into you at a steady pace until he’s seemingly overcome by his own orgasm. His movements becoming laboured and erratic, he pants your name through gritted teeth as he spills his cum inside you.
You remain wrapped up in your position as you come down from your highs, the warmth of his breath tickles your neck, and your chests collide as you fight to catch your breath. Your mind races, trying to find the right thing to say next, not wanting to spoil your post-orgasm bliss. Eventually, you nudge his shoulder, and he moved away, allowing you to sit up. His cum seeps out of you as you do. Before you can make a move to clean it up Cas attains the tissues from your dresser and begins delicately wiping you down.
“Thank you.” You smile at him as he finishes and begins to clean himself up.
“I… ah.” He smiles back at you, still flushed from your activities. “I feel I should be the one thanking you.”
You laugh at the absurdity of his statement, especially after the performance he’d just given. Cas soon reciprocates your laughter. You stretch your arms out, inviting him back in for an embrace and he eagerly obliges, wrapping his arms around you and falling back against your mattress.
“Will you sleep in here, with me tonight?” Your eyes catch the clock on your bedside, and you note that it is almost sunrise. “Or, for the rest of the morning?”
He kisses your forehead and pulls you in close. “I would enjoy that very much.”
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Baby Blues || D. Targaryen x oc (Dear Motherhood Series)
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GIF by @fireandbloodsource DIVIDERS by @straywords
summary: In which a 15 year old Leyla Hightower experiences postpartum depression and all of the Red Keep and Daemon himself, feel the wrath of it. (head-canon to second choice)
Dear Motherhood Series Masterlist
warning: oc is 15 when she gives birth
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The babe’s cries was all the could be heard inside the birthing chamber. The handmaidens all gushed at the baby as they cleaned her up. Leyla laid there motionless. She had never experienced so much pain in all of her years.
Her head slowly turned to the door to which Daemon entered with a smile plastered on his face. He immediately moved to the bed where his Lady wife laid and kissed her forehead, “You did such a good job, ñuha ābrazȳrys” He whispered as Leyla only gave a tight lipped smile (my wife)
She watched as he moved away from her and to their daughter who they already found a name, Alyssa. All the noises around the room had become muffled to the young Hightower and she didn’t even realise that Daemon was talking to her.
“Leyla? I asked if you want to hold her” He cradled the little girl in his arms. She didn’t want to in all honesty. She felt so incredibly exhausted and her body still ached from delivering her child mere minutes ago.
“Okay” She whispered before Daemon laid the babe on her chest to which she groaned. “Why isn’t she properly cleaned” The young girl quipped , her head turned to the handmaidens who quickly apologised and scooped her up to clean her properly.
Watching the whole ordeal, Daemon held Leyla’s hand. “How are you feeling? I imagine the labour was not easy?” He attempted to comfort her but Leyla stared off into the distance, not replying to him.
The prince moved form the bed to a handmaiden, “Did anything happen during the labour?” He questioned as he stared at his Lady Wife. “No your Grace, everything went normal” She replied before curtsying and walking away.
~
Leyla walked alongside her Husband, a 2 month old Alyssa in her arms. The two walked into Godswood where there was a celebration held for her sister’s pregnancy.
Whispers could be heard around as they stared at the young Hightower. Daemon too felt the tense atmosphere as he rested his hand on the curve of Leyla’s back. Her face was cold and expressionless.
The past 2 months Leyla had been acting incredibly off. Everyone could notice it people around the Keep would constantly gossip and whisper about it. Maybe it was the fact that she was only 15, and yet she already has child to the Rogue Prince himself.
“If you wish to talk about me, at least talk to my face about it” Leyla’s cold words stunned the group of highborn ladies as they look down to the ground; Daemon too glares at the group who were gossiping about his Lady Wife.
She continued walking to her father, King Viserys, and her sister who saw the ordeal. “Sister, how are you” Alicent gives a warm smile to the younger as she hugs her, cautious of the baby in her arms. “The same as always, sister” Leyla deadpanned before turning to greet the King and her father.
Alicent looks to Daemon with a sad expression as he sighs. Leyla beckons for the wet nurse who quickly took the child out of her arms. She couldn’t even find it in herself to look at her daughter as she was taken away.
Both Daemon and Leyla were taken around to different conversations and the whole time, she would stare down at her cup and not utter a word. “Should we go retire to your solar?” The silver haired men says lowly against her head as she nods, Daemon knew she wanted rest, she didn’t even want to be here but she didn’t want to hurt her sister’s feelings by not showing up.
Leyla let out a loud sigh once she sat down. Daemon sat at the chair opposite and busied himself with a book. The wet nurse placed Alyssa back in her mothers arms. Soon after she immediately started crying as Leyla rocked her to try to stop her loud wails but to no avail, the Targaryen babe continued.
Daemon rubbed his temples as he watched his Lady Wife attempting to calm down their daughter. “Hasn’t she already been fed and changed?” Leyla looked to the wet nurse who looked nervous but nonetheless nodded.
“Then why does she keep crying?!” She muttered annoyed at her baby. “Take her, she’s driving me insane” The young Hightower stood up, ready to give Alyssa back to the wet nurse. “Alyssa is not going to be comforted by the wet nurse but by you Leyla” Daemon sternly spoke, his eyes not leaving the book.
Both the wet nurse and Leyla look at Daemon, Alyssa’s cries intensifying by the minute. “I am already exhausted as it is Daemon-“ “Your her mother, you should be able to soothe your own child, am I wrong?” Daemon finally looks up.
Leyla was baffled, she opened her mouth and closed it soon after. She felt like bawling her eyes out too. “Please, please, please Alyssa stop crying.” Her voice cracked as she patted the babe’s back and walked around her solar desperately trying to calm down her daughter.
The wet nurse and Daemon watch her as tears fall down Leyla’s eyes, Alyssa had still not stopped crying. Daemon stood up and walked over to Leyla and took their daughter from her arms.
He calmed her down in an instant as Leyla sat down, her hand massaging her forehead. The wet nurse took the baby from Daemon so that he could comfort his Lady Wife.
He said nothing as he moved her head against her chest as she sobbed. “I am so exhausted Daemon, Alyssa- she’s-she’s so much work and its draining me” She quietly spoke as Daemon did nothing but listen to her troubles and stroke her back soothingly.
“I am no cut out to be a mother-“ The door to her solar opened loudly and startled the girl. Quickly sitting up and wiping the remainder of her tears, Daemon rolled his eyes and leaned back on the chair, oh how he hated seeing his face around. If he wasn’t his wife’s father, Daemon would have slit his throat ages ago.
Otto first looked at the wet nurse who was rocking his granddaughter in her arms before looking at Leyla. With a stern voice he orders the wet nurse to leave, and then Daemon. “If you think I’m leaving my wife in the presence of her cunt of a father, your wrong” He chuckles as Otto’s lips part in disbelief.
“You think I’d harm my own flesh and blood, my Prince?” He raises an eyebrow at the silver haired man. With a shrug of his shoulders, Daemon looks at Leyla who’s gaze is on her hands as she picks at her nails. He holds her hand to stop her from harming herself before looming up at Otto.
“You’ve harmed her enough by arranging this marriage. Now, you either speak to her whilst I’m here or you don’t speak to her at all” Otto scoffs shaking his head before taking a seat opposite the two. “Daemon. It’s okay” Leyla finally looks up to him.
He lets out a breathe, “I’m not leaving this room,” He says before standing up and making his way to the bookshelf. The two Hightower’s watch the Prince before their attention go back to each other.
“There has been talk around the Red Keep that you have been acting differently,” He starts off, “And do you believe them? They’re just talk father, they know nothing” Leyla scoffs in disbelief. The fact that he assumes the talk is true without even consulting with his own daughter about it was sad.
“I don’t have to believe them Leyla, I have seen it myself,” Otto stares into his daughter’s soul as she gulps. His comment made Daemon look to the two. “It’s not difficult to notice how ignorant you are to your own child. Gods, you walk around the place like a ghost Leyla!” He half shouts.
Daemon makes his presence known as he takes a seat near the two of them. Leyla glances at him before looking at her father again, “Father I’ve just been tired and she’s alot of work!-“ “Don’t act as if you take care of the child. Your wet nurse and maids do.”
Daemon chuckles, “She takes better care of her own child than you ever did when Leyla’s mother died” He butts in. Ignoring the Prince’s comment Otto continues, “People are saying you are incapable of being a mother-“ “Because I am!” Leyla yells, leaning forward in her seat as tears start rolling down her face again.
Daemon shifts in his seat as he leans over and rubs her arm. Otto looks taken aback, he was not expecting that answer from her daughter. “Oh please father,” She chokes back a chuckle, “Don’t act as if you’re surprised. I’m 15 for gods sake! Of course I’m incapable of looking after another human being, what did you expect?” Leyla spat in anger.
All her pent up emotions building up from the past 2 months were finally spilling out. “You act as if it is my fault for your ill-manner behaviour towards your own flesh and flood!” Otto points to her. “If it wasn’t for your pressure of producing heirs for Daemon and this marriage, I wouldn’t be in this situation” Leyla spoke through gritted teeth.
Silence filled the room. “I think it’s best you leave, Otto” Daemon stands up and looks down at him. The man scoffs and gives one final look to his daughter before leaving the room.
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subway-tolkien · 11 months
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Okay, this is 1600 words of (positive!) meta regarding the OFMD finale. Included is character analysis and a treatise on why a certain trope people keep throwing around does not apply here.
This is of course just my take, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I needed to get this out. Apologies if it comes off disjointed, I've had like no sleep.
Spoilers within, obviously. You have been warned. Heed the tags. I didn't tag any characters because I consider it a spoiler, but you know who this is about.
Listen. Listen.
Let me start off by saying I have been where you are. I’ve had beloved characters die, either because it was important to the narrative or for shock value. I’ve been there, so I’m not coming at this without empathy. I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him as a character. I’m truly sad to see him go.
But from what I’m seeing around Twitter and tumblr, some of you do not understand the role of an antagonist in a story.
Izzy was always meant to die. The moment he said, in the first season, “the only retirement we get is death,” I knew he was meant to die in the end. The foreshadowing ran through both seasons. Izzy was the true antagonist of S1. He was there to keep Blackbeard tethered when he started pulling away, and yet he also set the plot in motion. He inadvertently introduced Blackbeard to the person who let him be just Ed. He put Ed on his own path to redemption without even knowing it.
S1 ended with Izzy getting what he wanted as Ed lost everything he had. S2 was about Izzy coming to terms with the fact that he’d gone too far, he’d turned Ed into a monster. It wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Blackbeard back, just like old times. Instead, he got the Kraken, and it was more than he bargained for.
Especially after it cost him his leg and he realized how far gone Ed really was. The conversation that ended with Izzy’s half-assed suicide attempt was the final blow to Izzy—Ed really didn’t seem to care anymore. Where Izzy wanted him to stop giving a shit about his silly boyfriend, he instead got a Blackbeard who didn’t care about anything, and he was apparently now included in that category.
(I said half-assed suicide attempt because Izzy wasn’t meant to die then, THAT would have been an empty, pointless death. It wouldn’t have taught Ed anything—in fact, all it did was make him more self-destructive, which was Izzy’s purpose to the narrative, but not his endgame. That Ed thought Izzy killed himself pushed Ed to the brink. Ed wanted to die and take every scrap of Blackbeard with him. Had Izzy successfully killed himself, Ed and the Revenge would be at the bottom of the ocean.
It wasn’t until the crew left Izzy the unicorn leg that he realized the power of compassion, the incredible act of grace from a crew that suffered so much from Izzy’s own machinations and didn't need to forgive him. It moved him to tears, and it moved him to accept that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to let people in, to let himself be cared for. It was a foreign concept and something Izzy likely hadn’t experienced since losing his family (I fully expect a shit ton of fanfic of Izzy’s life before piracy).
Israel Hands found the capacity to let love all the way in and by god, did he pursue it.
But, again, Izzy was always meant to die, and I’m glad they stuck to the narrative they set out with instead of placating fandom and letting our influence dictate how they told this story That’s never good, trust me. Fandom should not influence a creator’s decisions regarding their own characters. It rarely if ever ends well.
[Stares in Voltron S8]
And I see a lot of people out here throwing the “bury your gays” phrase around—I beg you, please look up the definition of the trope. Izzy didn’t die because he was queer, he didn’t die because of his disability. He wasn’t one half of the only queer couple in the show fridged for shock value. He wasn’t killed off due to pressure from conservative viewers. He wasn’t the only queer, disabled character.
They didn’t kill off Lucius, or Jackie, or Wee John. Would you be as outraged if it was any of them?
Killing Eve is bury your gays. Supernatural is bury your gays. Pretty much any film, book, TV show, whatever, where a queer character dies because they’re queer, of AIDs, to further the narrative for a straight person, etc—that is burying your gays.
Izzy’s death was none of those things. Izzy’s death had meaning.
Izzy’s death freed Ed from the Blackbeard persona. It finally forced Izzy to say the things he couldn’t say until he realized it was his last chance. Izzy was also tired. I honestly think he stuck it out for Ed’s sake, because he was afraid to let Blackbeard go without making sure Ed would be ok.
He loved the idea of Blackbeard, but over time, he learned to love Ed. He finally understood what Ed tried to tell him the whole time.
“Fuck off, you twat. You’re surrounded by family.”
You’re safe. You’re loved. You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need to be reminded of who you’re capable of being, you need the people who will guide you to who you will become, and I’m not one of them.
I know a lot of Izzy fans are stung by his death, some of you are deeply upset. I get that. Like I said, I’ve been there. Sirius’s death made me throw that fucking book across the room. That Fucking Woman™ killed off my entire OTP, purely for shock value and, imho, a direct response to shippers. Trust me, I have felt betrayed by a creator for their decisions.
But I need you to understand that no, this was not a personal attack, this was not malicious, this was not “bury your gays." A show that celebrates queerness and diversity is not suddenly homophobic and ableist because your favorite character died and happened to be both of those things. But when the majority of your cast of characters is different in some way, and they’re in a show about 18th century pirates, you have to accept that one of them could, in fact, die. “Anyone Can Die” is also a trope and the more accurate one to describe E8.
If only being queer and disabled made you invincible.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
And no, I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him, I loved him as an antagonist, and I loved his redemption arc. He was fascinating and Con put his whole O’Nussy into that part. I’m sorry to see him go, but as a mystery writer who often has to kill off beloved characters, I understand that he served the purpose he had from the beginning.
I swear, if some of you had your way, there’d be no conflict at all in any form of media. This what a steady diet of nothing but fanfic gets you. This is not a fluffy one-shot with magical healing dick and a happy ending where everyone sails off into the sunset. If that’s what you wanted, what you headcanoned, you did this to yourself. It’s not David et al’s fault that we took that character and babygirled him. That’s the risk we take when we decide to love a specific character, when we take a genuinely terrible person (in S1) and woobify him.
So, please stop harassing and attacking David, Alex, et al. David did not and should not change his story to placate us. The fact he went ahead with it despite the backlash I’m sure he expected makes me respect him as a creator even more.
Anyway, I’m going to revel that we have three (!) queer relationships with happy endings where one or both didn’t immediately die (again, the actual definition of “bury your gays”) and that we got at least two seasons of a little show that celebrated individualism, diversity, queerness, compassion, and love.
In the end, it all came down to love.
“There he is.”
Goodbye, Blackbeard.
Hello, Ed.
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hoshinasblade · 3 months
Text
i woke up sad today and im also super stressed at work so im taking it upon myself to make other people miserable too, hence this drabble -
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"it has to be me", hoshina declared, in a tone that reflected his strong will. "if number 10 wanted me to use it as a weapon, i'll do it." regardless of the consequences, he intentionally omitted. he didn't need everyone in the room to hear what is already a known fact.
the emergency meeting lasted 10 minutes, and as soon as it concluded, the oak doors opened with a loud bang, the high-ranking officers of the anti-kaiju defence of japan pouring out. hoshina soshiro, the vice-captain of the third division remained on his spot, unmoving. "hoshina -" captain ashiro approached him with a concerned look.
"commander, don't look at me like that", hoshina responded, a smirk on his face. captain ashiro would have complied, but she's known her vice-captain for year to see when he's faking confidence. "i'm tough to kill", hoshina said, dismissing himself.
retiring to his quarters, hoshina relished the small privilege he was given - it would be embarrassing to break down in front of other people if he was sharing a dorm room with his teammates. he laid down the mattress, the soft surface giving in to his weight. he did not bother to take his uniform off.
it was an hour or four before he decided to do something. the clock read past 10 pm. you're probably taking a shower. he took his chances.
you always pick up. and tonight was no different. even the mere sound of your breathing was sufficient to set his insides afire. "i miss you."
it's ridiculous even for him to realize that his feelings could be summarized in three one-syllable words. he closed his eyes, imagining that he was not holding his phone in his ear, that you were with him instead. your presence would effectively solve the majority of his problems.
"how was your day?" you whispered softly. if hoshina concentrates hard enough, he could see your lips part while you're talking. the hole in his chest grew more and more by the second.
"they're converting number 10 as a weaponized suit. they're making me wear it." hoshina wished he was not speaking to you about this.
"isn't that dangerous?" your reply was quick and straightforward. you were familiar with the protocol and you weren't even an officer.
"i could die." once the truth was out of his mouth, there was no stopping it. "it could significantly shorten my lifespan if i use the suit too much."
hoshina had always been proud of his skills as a competent swordsman - he's survived and made it this far with his blades despite most people advising him to give up. he's never cursed his own lack of power until now. if only he was strong enough, maybe he wouldn't need a suit to be able to fight better.
"then -" you started but paused and hoshina could tell you were steadying yourself. . "then don't use it too much", you suggested. in normal circumstances he would smile at you - flattered that you are worried about him, pleased that you care. but now everything from you simply feels like tiny crumbs of affection, and hoshina settled on being a beggar.
"would you cry for me when i die?" hoshina heard you gasp on the other line.
"i'm hanging up now", you exclaimed without saying goodbye. the silence after that was deafening, but even then hoshina kept his phone on the side of his face, listening. "i wanna see you tonight", you spoke at last.
"would it make a difference?" his voice cracked but he didn't care. he was exhausted of pretending he was doing alright without you, in making himself believe that his love reaches you where his hands couldn't.
he said your name once more and it felt like a knife was being twisted within him.
"don't you dare do this to me," you threatened. "wait for me there, okay?" you added this time, pleading.
hope is a greedy, grasping thing and hoshina soshiro let it take hold of him fully.
"i will."
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drluvsick · 3 months
Note
Hello mate, how are you doing?
So, I've been following you for a while, and I couldn't help but notice your latest post, soooo, I have a request for you~~
You can ignore it if you don't want to do it, don't want to bother you :'D
So, it's a Muichiro (the Sweetest) x reader, that Reader always had a long hair, and they always treasure it, like alot, never letting people touch it, only Mui of. But one day, they just show up with a hair cut, and Mui is like "???", when he asks why they did it, they just say " oh, a demon cut it, so I thought it would be nice make a new hair cut "
Sorry about my poor english, I'm better at speaking ;-;
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𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 (𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊) — 𝐦𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐨
muichiro loved your long hair. he loved the trust you gave him as you only allowed him to touch it. so imagine his surprise when you come back to him with a totally new haircut and some new insecurities. 📝 f! reader in mind; small hurt/comfort! this ask is adorable, don’t worry, your english is fine! :] NOT PROOFREAD
word count : 739
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“thanks for volunteering to soothe the knots…” you kept your position as still as you could manage, muichiro behind you as he ran his fingers through your hair.
“you always do this for me,” muichiro pointed out, “it’s only fair that i repay you for that.”
you could practically feel his soft smile against your skin, the close proximity making butterflies swerve through your stomach and clouding in your heart. you hummed in contentment.
he continued talking. “plus, i like your hair. it’s…it gives off this sort of…comforting feeling.”
“is that so?” you smiled at his action of trying to form his words into a proper group. “i have to go soon.”
“mission?” you caught the small pout in his voice, although very subtle.
“yep, being sent in to help some mizunotos. it’s always the start of being a slayer that catches you off guard.” you sigh at the memory of your own start.
muichiro sighed for another reason. “just don’t go risking your life for whatever group you’re assigned to assist.”
“no promises, but i’ll try my best,” you got up once you felt muichiro’s fingers leave your hair. you then felt him back hug you.
“stay safe.”
“love you too.”
then he let go and waved you goodbye.
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so many emotions swirled through you at once, making a wave of nausea swim through your senses.
relief. you were alive, and so were the people you were sent to protect (still heavily beaten up, but surviving nonetheless).
guilt. you could’ve prevented some of their injuries. but then again, it was a large group.
sadness and anger. after so many years of growing it out, it got snipped in a second. your hair, now cut short into a messy (but manageable) new haircut. you wished you were the one to decide when to have your hair chopped rather than some insignificant third party.
insecurity. would muichiro still love you the same? your hair played a part in your beauty, and you knew that muichiro thought you were beautiful. but that was before, when your hair was still long. what about now? would he still find you as attractive as before?
it was a little stupid, being so caught up in the fact that muichiro may like you less because of your hair. but a small thought still nagged at you, and it stayed until you decided to drop by mitsuri’s place.
you could guess her reaction vividly, and surprise, you were right on the money.
“(y/n)!! oh my gosh, you cut your hair?!” mitsuri screamed, “it was so—!!”
“demon cut it,” you simply replied, “i was busy protecting the others.”
mitsuri’s shocked face turned to one of excitement. “you have to let me style it! short hair’s going to look so pretty on you!!” she gushed, taking your hand and pulling you through the halls into her room for a hair appointment.
you dearly hoped she was right.
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you stared at yourself in the mirror. if she ever got to retire from being a hashira, she’d definitely excel in a side career of hair styling.
“you look absolutely gorgeous, (y/n)!!” mitsuri squealed. you smiled and thanked her, turning around as she wrapped you in a bear hug. and then you were sent off to show muichiro.
your mind was swirling as you made steps to his place. he’d probably be training right now, wouldn’t he? after a bit of walking, you found him.
“muichiro!” you called out. you could practically feel his whole demeanor shift from monotone to absolutely shining. he snapped his head your way before evident shock was applied on his face.
“(y/n), what happened to your hair?” he worriedly asked, knowing well enough that you wouldn’t have cut it by yourself.
“demon,” you tried to smile, “it didn’t hurt me much, thankfully.”
he didn’t speak for a few seconds, making you fidget in your spot under his stare.
“it fits you,” he finally said, “your hair, i mean.”
you look at him, your heart picking up pace. “really?”
“yeah,” he smiled, taking your hands and softly kissing your knuckles. your heart melted. “everything fits you.”
you pulled him in, kissing him on the lips. and as he ran his fingers through your now shortened hair, just like how he used to before, you realized that no matter what you looked like coming back to him, he’d always look at you as his one and only.
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overluvsick | please do not repost, translate, and/or claim my works as yours !!
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owliellder · 1 year
Text
The Finer Details
Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter fem! Reader
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MDNI 18+
(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)
Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..
Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔
Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare
Author Note: I'm actually thinking I might be doing one chapter every other night, but I would also like to draw on my comically large art tablet at some point this week, so I might skip a day or two.
Cross posted onto AO3
Session 2: Color Matching
You partially regret just agreeing to "tomorrow", seeing as this man decided that he wanted to show up at 4am.
It was the original time set for yesterday's session, and you guess he felt bad for being late, but god damn he texted you an hour earlier telling you he'd be there by 4am. Dragging yourself out of the comfort of your bed was difficult, but in the end it was worth it to draw such a stunner.
You had to get there before Leon did, so there you were; half awake, dressed in a pair of fuzzy pants and a loose t-shirt, and a small cup of tea in your right hand while the other fumbled with the keys to your little work room.
That was the greatest part about your job as a professional painter. You didn't have a dress code.
Though most days you did try to look your best, some days it was just easier to be comfortable. Besides, it's not like tons of people come and see you everyday, it was usually just one person at a time.
It was 3:47am by the time you'd gotten to your workspace and settled, sitting on one of the many floor pillows in the living area you put together away from the actual painting setup. The tea was warm, it was keeping you sleepy, but you couldn't stop taking small sips. It was in your hands, there wasn't much you could do to stop yourself.
You told Leon to just come on in when he arrived, not wanting to walk all the way back down just to lead him back up. The stiffness from sleep was still in parts of your body, so you knew it would be difficult to get up, even when he did finally stride through that door. He dressed nicely today, just what you needed him to do.
Wanting to relish in the dim yet warm lighting of your various lamps for as long as possible, you beckoned the man to come over and sit with you, which confused him slightly. He thought you would be ready to get started once he showed up, but he wasn't one to argue so early in the morning. Instead, he shrugged and slowly sauntered over to you, taking a seat on a floor pillow across from yours.
"Good morning." Leon grumbled quietly, his voice barely hiding the fact that he wasn't quite awake either. That rumble in his chest made your stomach flutter. "Good morning to you, too." You responded, closing your eyes for a moment to take another sip of your tea.
"When uh-" He cleared his throat, putting a fist up to his mouth as he did so. "When are we gonna get started?"
You furrowed your eyebrows, moving the cup away from your lips to stare at him. "I wasn't expecting to be up so early, so just give me a few more minutes to wake up and then we can turn my main lights on."
Leon sucked on his teeth as he thought, turning his head to look over out one of the windows as he rested his wrists on his knees. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Just wanted to make up for being late yesterday."
You laughed softly before letting out a quiet sigh, setting your tea down on the low coffee table sitting behind you.
"Don't worry about it, but also don't make me get up so early again, old man." You attempted to joke, immediately noticing the wince on his face at the nickname. To divert, you stood up and stretched, patting his shoulder as you walked by him. "Alright, let me pull my stuff out and then we can get started."
Leon followed you with his head, taking a few seconds before standing up himself, pressing his hands onto his knees to help get up from the floor pillow.
"I'm just going to be color matching your tones today. I won't do all of it since obviously lighting changes throughout the day, buuuut..." You trailed off, beginning to rummage through a drawer in one of your desks before pulling out handfuls of paint tubes. "I just need to pull out the basic colors I'll be using."
It was still pretty dim in the room which caused you to have to squint to see the names of the colors on the tubes. Leon found that partially amusing, his chuckle causing you to glare playfully over at him. "Something funny?"
"As funny as it is to watch you go cross-eyed looking at those," he smiled, gesturing with his thumb to the light switches near the door. "I feel like it'd be easier to just turn the lights on."
"My retinas will be fried if those get turned on-" You were cut off by your own shout when Leon took the liberty of turning the lights on himself, laughing as you quickly moved to cover your eyes.
He only had to squint for a second before his eyes adjusted. You, however, were not expecting the sudden change, so you got an eyeful of bright white light. Complete and utter agony that lasted for a full five seconds.
By the time you moved your hands away from your eyes, they were watering and you had to squint for awhile longer. "Give me a warning next time you decide you want to try and murder me like that." You said, wiping away the few stray tears you'd produced from the light sensitivity. "You might live in the light, but I don't!"
The man shook his head and crossed his arms, smile still plastered to his face as he slowly made his way over to the chair in front of your easel. "That's payback for calling me an old man."
You twisted your head around to the chair so you could give him an indignant look, catching a glance as he was putting his hands up in defense with a small "what?" before you turned to look down at the tubes of paint sitting next to your hands on top of the desk.
"Nothing, just wasn't expecting to work with a toddler, that's all.." You mumbled, smile creeping onto your face as you heard him click his tongue from behind you. "I was an old man not five minutes ago and now I'm a toddler?" Leon asked, voice peaking dramatically.
"Yes, you have quite the range, Mr. Kennedy." You began sifting through the various paints you'd pulled out, humming softly as you contemplated what route you wanted to take with them. Stick to primaries? Add secondaries? Should I just use every color I need? Hmmm..
Leon watched as you stared at the paint tubes you'd picked up, tilting his head to the side slightly to try and get a better look. He snapped his head back upright when you started to speak again. "I'm trying to decide whether or not to use a lot of different colors, or just stick to a minimum.."
It was almost as if you knew what he was wondering. "Uhh... what's the difference...?" The man questioned, raising an eyebrow as you turned around, seemingly having made your decision already.
"Using just the main 6 colors-" You turned around and were faced with his very confused stare, causing you to explain a little better. "The main colors you see in a rainbow."
He breathed out a quiet "ahh" at that. Okay, good. He knows his basics. Cute...
"I can mix just red, blue, and yellow at varying degrees to get any color I need. Adding green, purple, and orange will help even more." You pursed your lips, lightly tossing the paint tubes in your hands before setting them down away from the other tubes. "I need white also. Damn.."
"What's wrong with white?" Leon asked, leaning forward a bit to watch you dig in the drawer for a tube of white oil paint.
"Nothin'. Just forgot, is all. Trying to keep this as authentic as possible..." You mumble, quickly closing the drawer with a slam after pulling out the paint you were looking for.
Silently nodding his head in acknowledgment, Leon turned his focus to his surroundings again, admiring your choice in decor once more. He bought a nice decorative pillow for his couch yesterday after being here the first time.
You grabbed a few strips of thick white paper, running your thumb along its textured surface before setting them down. You told him to stay where he was as you set up a small art palette, little dollops of the paints sitting neatly in the circular grooves.
"I'm gonna make color swatches of your skin for myself." You spoke up as you suddenly turned and walked towards him, holding the palette in your left hand while holding the strips of paper and a small yet flat paintbrush in the right. "Also, I'll need to get a picture of you in the position you want, but I'll do that after all of-" you waved everything you're currently holding in a small circle. "-this."
Leon simply responded with an "oh, okay", his knee beginning to bounce as you quickly began to mix little bits of your paint together to get a simple pale skin tone down before you even attempted to match his.
As you worked, you were starting to grow nervous with the silence, and clearly the man in front of you was as well, given he had started to sweat slightly on his forehead. He wasn't nearly as conversational as the last two agents you painted.
"So.. you've earned yourself a portrait..." You smiled slightly, holding up the strip of paper you'd brushed your mixed paint on to see what colors to mix in next. "What'd you do to earn one?"
Leon hummed. It was hard to think about every mission he's gone on, all the horrors he bore witness to, the people he saved, the people he couldn't save, how it all started, and now the fact that he's done-
"Hey, woah, I'm sorry." The sound of your voice drew him away from his thoughts. "I didn't know that would be a.. sore subject for you." He blinked at you a few times, furrowing his eyebrows soon after. "What?"
You pulled the strip of paper away from his face, pulling your lips tight with a shrug of your shoulders at his response. "You suddenly looked mad. Like... really really mad. I thought you were gonna snap at me or-"
"No. It's just bittersweet, is all." Leon cut you off, waving his hand dismissively at you before nodding once down to the paint palette in your hand. "You can keep going."
You stayed frozen in your crouched position for a few seconds longer before continuing to swatch your paint. You kept silent, not wanting to seem like you were antagonizing him.
"I used to be just a cop." The man suddenly said, causing you to look up from where you were mixing your paints together. "Only for a single day, but I was a cop. Simple as can be."
You nodded, beckoning him to continue with a small smile, which he did. "I'm sure you've heard about some of that already though, since you worked with Claire not too long ago."
His comment caused you to let out a small "ohh" in sudden recognition, nodding your head again. "Yeah, that's right! She mentioned you on that, okay.."
Leon continued to talk about all of his missions vaguely, still having to keep confidentiality in mind. You let him drone on, having gotten his skin tone matched in a few different areas now. You stopped to scribble on the papers with the paint swatches, making sure to label where each tone came from on his face and hands.
You took note of how he circled back to his single day as a cop and to certain missions. His mention of saving the president's daughter had you immediately smiling. That was a straight ticket to earning his own portrait in that hall of the White House, he could've done just that his entire life and he still would've been seeing you at some point.
You focused on mixing your paint for a little while before noticing he had grown quiet, looking up to see him staring out the window, a faint orange glow from the sun rising highlighting his features. And his tears.
Growing concerned once again, you set down the paintbrush on the palette so you could place a gentle hand on his shoulder. It seemed he didn't notice that, too lost in his head to notice anything at this point.
"Hey..." You asked with a soft voice, your eyebrows furrowing with worry. "We don't have to talk about it anymore, you know..."
Finally, Leon looked back at you, eyes widening once he realized how watery his eyes were. He turned his head away so you didn't watch him wipe the tears that had fallen down his cheeks and use his sleeve to dry his eyes. It wasn't like him to be so easily bothered by this stuff.
"I just need one more color swatch and then you can go, okay? We can save the photo for another day." You gave the man a weak smile, one he didn't reciprocate. You understood.
He looked like he wanted to say something, but you filled in for him. "Seriously, it's no trouble at all. If you need more time then you need more time." Standing up from your crouched position, you left your half-finished color match swatch with the finished ones before walking over to set everything down on the desk.
You didn't want to crowd the poor man. That was probably the last thing he needed. Despite having only painted for a select few, you've learned to just step away from these retired agents when things would go awry. It was akin to a war veteran suffering from PTSD; they did almost have the same experiences as far as you could tell.
"I'm sorry."
Leon finally managed to say to you, his hands anxiously rubbing up and down on the tops of his thighs. Must be a nervous tick.
You angled yourself so you could see him while your body still faced the desk, smiling at him while your hands worked to neatly stack the strips of paper before clipping them together with a paper clip.
"There's absolutely no reason for you to apologize." You kept your smile as you responded to Leon, looking back down at your hands to make sure everything was put together properly. "You forget I strictly work with agents like yourself. From all the vague tellings, I know that the job is tough on you guys; body and mind."
It was weird having someone outside of the agency talk to him about this kind of stuff. It was weird for him to be bringing it up in the first place. Or, at least he felt like it was.
"Still, I should know better than to do that." Leon sighed, rubbing his hand along the side of his face before stroking his chin, scratching at the stubble growing.
"Know better than to do what? Let yourself process everything you've been through?" You spoke in almost a whisper. If your tone was any louder, you fear you'd come off as accusatory.
"I get it. Really, I do." Leon groaned quietly at your words, causing you to click your tongue. You grabbed your swivel chair and scooted it over so you could sit in front of him, and when you did, you brought your legs up to sit criss-cross just like yesterday, only there wasn't a table separating the two of you. You looked solemn. He didn't like where this was going.
"The whole point of painting you a portrait is to honor you and your work as an agent, but it's not just about getting yourself painted." You leaned forward in your chair, elbows resting on your knees, all the while keeping your voice hushed and gentle. "Seeing the portrait once it's finished is going to be an incredibly emotional ordeal. It's a reminder that this is truly the end of an era for you, Mr. Kennedy..."
Your words were really starting to strike a chord for Leon. He hadn't given it much thought. He didn't want to give it any thought at all. All he thought was "I'm just going to get myself a nice fancy portrait and be done with it". He didn't even consider what the portrait of him would actually symbolize.
"Oh." Was all Leon could muster, letting his gaze fall into his lap where his hands now sat clasped together. If it weren't for the comfortable environment you had set up here, he probably would've bolted ages ago.
You let him think everything over for awhile, wanting to give him all the time in the world. Clearly he needed something, but he wasn't allowing himself any sort of leeway.
It took some courage building internally, but you decided to stand up, taking the one step closer to him before placing your hand on his shoulder once more. You squeezed it a bit, bringing his attention back to you as he lifted his head up.
You attempted to smile at him, moving your hand off his shoulder so you could hold your arms out slightly. This man needed a hug and you were more than willing to offer the leeway he wasn't granting himself.
Leon stood up rather quickly which surprised you, and startled you just a bit, before feeling his large arms tightly wrap around you. It was a little awkward since he had to bend a bit to hug you properly, but it worked out in his favor, and yours too, since he got a better opportunity to bury his face into the crook of your neck.
He sighed happily when he felt your arms slowly wrap around his chest, doing your best to squeeze him for that extra bit of comfort, even rubbing up and down on his back. It had been so long since he had a real hug. It felt good.
You let him hug you for as long as he needed, which was longer than expected, but definitely not unwelcome by any means. Though, his warm breath against your neck and the smell of his cologne was causing you to blush. That's really the last thing you needed him to see after being so vulnerable and open with you.
You felt him start to pull his head away, prompting you to pat his back gently as an end to the hug. Despite the fact that it was faint, it was clear to you that he was blushing when you were finally able to look up at him.
You wanted to remain calm for Leon, letting out your nervousness through a quiet cough. "I know we've only met up twice, but if you ever need a change in scenery, just know that my workspace here is always open to you. I'm always open to you, okay?"
Your words were making him feel weird. Something he hasn't felt in a long time was creeping up his chest. Your smell lingering on his coat wasn't helping, either.
"Yeah-.. yeah, okay." Leon huffed through his nose, reaching up to scratch at the stubble underneath his jawline as he averted his gaze to the floor.
The sun was fully up now, so you walked over to where the light switches were next to the door, flipping them off. All your other ambient lights could be turned off later. For now, you needed to focus on the man still standing in front of that maroon chair.
"You can stay if you feel you need to, but I just want you to relax." You said, looking over at him as you heard his footsteps slowly walk past you to the living space.
"I'll head out." Leon bent over and grabbed his motorcycle helmet from where he'd set it down on the rug near the floor pillows. He placed his on his head as he walked over to where you stood next to the door, not really wanting anyone to look at his tear-stricken and red face any longer.
Once he finished fiddling with his helmet, you reached out and took his hand in both of yours, patting the top of it softly. "Text me when you're ready to come back over."
You couldn't see Leon's face anymore since he'd put the visor down, but you could definitely see him nod his head. He opened the door and let himself out, touching the side of the doorframe as he rounded the sharp corner and walked down the stairs.
After closing the door behind him, you started walking around your workspace to turn off all the lamps and other ambient lighting, pausing to listen to the sound of his motorcycle start up and drive off.
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